Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Last night Raw ended with HHH Pedigreeing Orton and Cena standing with the Authority as we head into TLC.  I’m not sure what’s going to happen on Sunday and that’s exactly WWE’s plan.  They did a GREAT job last night at confusing the fans and leaving them wondering what’s going to happen.  How do you find out what’s going to happen?

 

BUY THE PPV!  See how easy it can be?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Slammy night which usually means we’re in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It’s also the go home show for TLC, meaning we’re going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let’s get to it.

The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.

Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.

We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here with Bryan making Fandango look like a million bucks. That’s what Bryan might be best at and now he has the credibility to give anyone on the roster a rub. Good match here and it’s nice to see Fandango not look like a complete jobber every time he’s out there.

Post match we’ve got Bray on the screen. He doesn’t like Bryan’s unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn’t want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he’s going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan’s pain away, if he’ll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.

Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.

The nominees are:

Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out

Titus O’Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL’s hat

The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal’s and Great Khali’s snake charm flutes

Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero

Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.

Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You’re Welcome ends this at 2:30.

Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.

Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn’t look pleased. The nominees are:

Mark Henry faking retirement

Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell

Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB

HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam

The winner is again after a break.

Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he’s still here. Shawn didn’t come off like a heel here but he wasn’t the nicest guy in the world.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.

Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

The Bella Twins

Funkadactyls

Kaitlyn

Natalya

Eva Marie

AJ Lee

After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it’s off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it’s back to Goldust.

Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it’s back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time….except for Sunday but at least it’s something new.

Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there’s the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but these matches throwing Goldust/Cody vs. any combination of heels are going to stop working eventually. Big Show and Mysterio don’t work for me as a team as they’ve done the big man/little man combination so many times that it just doesn’t hold up.

How to download the WWE App The Sequel!

Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

CM Punk

Big Show

Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton

John Cena

An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.

Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he’s a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.

A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.

Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B-. If they’re not careful they’re going to make a star out of Sin Cara. It’s remarkable how much better Hunico is at playing the character and he’s nailing this second run. Good match here and it’s good to see Del Rio dropping down the card like he should have done a long time ago.

The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:

Fandango-ing

YES! YES! YES!

Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks

What’s Up!

Daniel Bryan wins which isn’t a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!

Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods

Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.

Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.

Here’s Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:

AJ Lee – “I didn’t get here because I SUCKED….up to the right people.” (Total Divas promo)

Zeb Colter – Almost anything he said

Paul Heyman – Insulting CM Punk

Stephanie McMahon – Insulting Big Show before firing him

Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk’s back around the ropes.

Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.

Punk’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.

Rating: B. As I said on Smackdown: this was exactly what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose when they get time. I wish they would let someone else lose the fall to Punk, but at least this time we got some storyline development as a result. Very solid TV match here as anyone would have expected.

Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk’s bad ribs.

We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.

Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:

Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England

Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match

CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell

Wyatt Family crushing Kane’s head at Summerslam

Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it’s weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey’s head off for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: C-. The show is starting to drag but at least the match wasn’t too bad. That lariat is absolutely awesome and proves that a simple move can become something special if it’s given enough time. Rowan is looking better and better every time he’s out there which is nothing but good.

Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:

CM Punk vs Undertaker – Wrestlemania 29

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield – Battleground

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar – Extreme Rules

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania 29

Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it’s mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.

There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan’s hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he’s still on commentary).

The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley’s career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn’t have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.

Cena asks Bryan where he’s from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he’s had to work for everything he’s achieved in WWE. Orton hasn’t had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he’s bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.

The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let’s fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they

very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.

Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: “YES! YES! YES”!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was…..long. It set up the three major matches at TLC but the awards gimmick got old about an hour into the show. Bryan and Shield looked good tonight but other than that the awards felt like they were as planned as they possibly could have been. The ending segment came close to saving it but only brought it up to decent. The show wasn’t bad for the most part but it felt like a show you could have just read online the next morning and gotten everything you needed to know out of it.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Fandango – Running knee

Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella – You’re Welcome

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Top rope splash to Axel

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 2004
Location: Cricket Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show I’ve wanted to do for a long time but couldn’t for one reason or another. I have a copy of it now though and I’m doing it for one reason: the main event. This is the only Raw that I can ever remember where the main event is a Divas match. By that, I mean it’s the match that is built up and talked about for two hours leading up to it. It’s not the match that happens to go on last and then there’s the real final thing on the show after it. Trish vs. Lita for the Women’s Title tonight is the main event of Monday Night Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open in the Highlight Reel and Jericho’s pretty weak shoulder length hair phase. There’s a controversy over the world title between Edge and Benoit. Jericho is the GM tonight due to his team winning the Survivor Series match and thereby all of them got a night as GM. It’s a big party tonight so everyone gets laid! Hawaiian lais fall from the ceiling in a cute bit. Jericho gets one of his own and asks if some of the kids are old enough to get laid.

Anyway he talks about the title match but says that there’s going to be a Diva limbo contest, with music provided by Fozzy, who is on the stage. We get a clip from last week on Raw where Edge reversed the Crossface but didn’t break it. He had Benoit covered but tapped out at the same time the three went down. There were two referees but it appeared that neither would have been able to see Edge tap. Jericho says he can’t solve this but maybe his guest can.

Here’s Vince, holding the world title. Vince says that it was a tie which he didn’t like. This brings out HHH who was champion going into the match. Vince congratulates him on being a bestselling author which wasn’t what HHH expected. Vince congratulates him again on being a movie star for being in Blade III. It really is fun to hear Vince plugging stuff like he does with the movie and book here because he’s really good at it. I’ve seen the movie and it really isn’t as good as he makes it sounds, but I kind of buy it anyway.

As for the title, HHH isn’t champion. Bischoff gets to make that decision next week, which resulted in the return of the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution. Vince officially vacates the title.

After a break, HHH freaks out while Batista and Flair try to calm him down. HHH yells at Batista who was on the verge of leaving the team and turning into the hottest thing in the company. He’d win the Rumble and the title at Mania. Batista yells back here and HHH breaks stuff.

We cut to Jericho at his party in the back when Christian comes in. He found a superhero costume in his dressing room and isn’t happy with it. Jericho lists off a bunch of famous captains (Hook and Crunch) because if Christian wants one more match (I kid you not he really said that) with Shelton for the IC Title, he has to be Captain Charisma. Christian leaves and Benoit comes in and Jericho makes Batista/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho.

We get a video on Trish vs. Lita which is one of those flashback things they do to show how we arrived here. Lita had been scared by Kane so Trish pretended he was coming. A beating ensued.

Maven vs. Eugene

Eugene and Regal are tag champions and last week they retained over Maven and somebody else. They celebrated so Maven turned heel and beat Eugene down because so many people wanted to see Maven right? Both guys have catchy songs. The fans chant something that I can’t understand. They go to the mat and Eugene dances a little.

He hooks a body scissors and rolls Maven around on the mat as I think we’re in a comedy match. Maven pretends to trip and blames Regal, who gets ejected. O’Connor Roll and a northern lights suplex get two for Eugene. Maven kicks him in the knee and chokes in the corner to a count of five for the stupid DQ. Regal comes out for the save post match and Maven runs. Scratch that as he sneaks in on Regal and hits him with a title belt.

Rating: D-. Maven’s song keeps it from failing, but why in the world is Maven a heel? Actually here’s a better question: why is Maven on TV at all? The guy was just Maven and other than that there was nothing to talk about. This was weak and I don’t get the point of this at all. At least it was short, which is never a good thing to say about a match.

Time for Divas Limbo. I won’t complain about looking at Christy jumping everywhere but this is pretty awful. Fozzy plays the music and this is getting multiple minutes. Christy wins. Fozzy plays Don’t You Wish You Were Me while the girls dance. Muhammad Hassan comes out and runs his mouth to break the song up. I like that song but it’s better than the limbo nonsense. Hassan debuts next week.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

We get a video of Lita’s surprise bridal shower where the heel Divas humiliated her.

Orton makes fun of Coach and talks about being a GM for a week last week.

Here’s Edge who is all fired up. He’s mad about the title being held up and says that’s a travesty against him. He talks about how he beat Benoit last week (and DID NOT tap out!) and got to hold the world title but got screwed again. The person responsible for that is Randy Orton. He calls Orton’s title reign a failure and calls him out.

Here’s the Apex Viper who isn’t orange and has skin on his forearms. Orton says it could have been one on one but Evolution would have gotten involved. Edge only has himself to blame. I miss this Orton. “Unlike you Edge, I’ve been world champion.” AWESOME line there and it’s nice to see Orton having some emotion. They slug it out until security breaks it up.

Video on Blade Trinity.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Christian looks like an idiot in the Captain Charisma costume. Get it, it’s funny. He looks a bit like The Flash. Shelton was AWESOME at this point so he uses all of his athleticism to take over including a head fake into a top rope clothesline. Christian takes over with his basic stuff and yells a lot. The Canadian goes up and jumps into a punch to the ribs. A Russian legsweep and a middle rope sunset flip both get two for Benjamin. Shelton gets caught in a rollup off the middle rope and Tomko slides in a title belt. Tomko adds a big boot but it only gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Exploder and Shelton retains.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match or anything but it was there for the comedy and that’s all. That’s fine, but they need to have something other than that after a Eugene match and a Simon Dean match. This was nothing to see at all here and I really am getting why no one ever talks about this era in the company. This show has mostly sucked so far.

Jericho comes out and makes Edge vs. Orton. He also leads Fozzy in singing the goodbye song to Christian. He’s not fired that I know of but I guess it’s just to humiliate him.

Here’s a Smackdown Recap which saw Team JBL beating down Taker which didn’t end well.

The next Lita clip is Trish interrupting her wedding to Kane in some very nice lingerie for some reason. Not complaining at all.

Snitsky comes up to Lita in the back and reminds her that he got rid of her baby and ended Kane’s career.

We see HHH getting stripped of the title earlier. Flair tries to call Eric but HHH only gets his machine. He says fix this. Flair plugs Raw Magazine and HHH’s book and the movie. Batista comes in and hangs the phone up. He says he’s stopping HHH from making a huge mistake and wants to know what HHH is going to do.

HHH/Batista vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Lillian calls HHH the former champion so he chases her into the crowd. HHH vs. Benoit gets us going and Benoit chops away. Off to Jericho who beats on HHH ever more. The fans want Flair. Back to the other Chris who gets the Crossface but HHH’s feet are in the ropes. For some reason Evolution doesn’t tag so Jericho beats on HHH even more. Batista comes in illegally and the Canadian Chrises send him to the floor with a double dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Batista hooking a camel clutch. We see a clip from the commercial with Flair interfering to let Big Dave hit a spinebuster on Jericho. Off to the Game for some abdominal stretchery. Batista comes in but Jericho kicks his leg out to take over. Back to Benoit vs. HHH and Flair is knocked down to HUGE booing of Benoit.

Ever the nice guy, Benoit hits a baseball slide onto an old man to send him flying. Rolling Germans take care of HHH, followed by a Lionsault, a Swan Dive and then the double Liontamer/Crossface. Batista makes the save and takes over on Jericho but HHH brings in a chair to crack Benoit with for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The double submission probably should have ended it but this wasn’t much of a tag match either way. The commercial break took up almost half of the match and it wasn’t worth watching otherwise anyway. Jericho just wasn’t interesting at this point and this was all about Evolution and the post match stuff.

HHH keeps going off with the chair and hits everyone in sight, including the referee and accidentally Batista.

Trish is looking great and stretching when two production guys stare at her. Can’t say I blame them. Lita comes up and kisses Trish (Kiss of Death) and it’s main event time.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Even in a faceguard with what looks like masking tape over her face, Trish is gorgeous. How is that possible? Lita’s song is great too. 2004 had some awesome theme music. They lockup and go to the floor quickly. Lita takes over with a leg sweep for two. Remember that she’s the hometown girl. They go to the floor again and Lita tries a suicide dive and Lita lands ON HER HEAD, jacking her neck back in a landing that made my jaw drop and be stunned she isn’t dead. I mean she landed on her face and her feet hit her in the back of the head. The referee immediately checks on her and the crowd goes quiet.

The match keeps going as I guess she’s alive somehow. Trish takes the noseguard off and pops Lita in the face with it which isn’t a DQ somehow. Lita fights out of a choke and throws on a sleeper but gets countered into a seated full nelson. Trish goes up but gets caught in a superplex to put both girls down. Back up and the Chick Kick gets two. Trish pounds away in the corner and gets powerbombed to set up the moonsault but Trish breaks it up. Rollup gets two and Trish grabs a DDT for two. Stratusfaction is broken up and there’s a reverse Twist of Fate. The moonsault gives Lita her second title.

Rating: B. Considering that neck shot, WOW Lita was impressive here. At the end of the day, this was a solid match and they made it feel like a big moment. This was Lita’s second title, but she hadn’t won it in over four years so it’s not like this was something that happened every day. Trish would win it back in less than a month and hold it until Wrestlemania. As in the Wrestlemania the year after she won it, giving her a reign of about 15 months.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked other than the main event. I can really see why no one talked about 2004 and the years around it: this stuff SUCKED. I mean, the first three match include the names of Maven, Simon Dean and TWO superhero characters. This was a really weak show and they couldn’t save it with a solid main event, which isn’t something you see that often. Bad show.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on TLC now since a title unification match eleven years in the making only needs three weeks of build. Tonight we have a contract signing between Orton and Cena which is bound to wind up in some kind of an altercation. On top of that we might find out what happened when the human goat was kidnapped by the backwoods religious cult. That could only happen in wrestling or a very disturbing movie. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show. He says he’s in denial because last week he made the sin of criticizing HHH on Raw. Now he finds himself here in denial because there has to be something between insulting the Authority and being attacked by Shield last week. If he’s right, that makes the Authority the biggest group of cowardly censored something that starts with a D in history.

This brings out a smiling Stephanie with something to say. She hopes everyone had a good Thanksgiving but thinks Punk is way off base here. Would the Authority be the kind of people to send the Shield after Punk because of a simple insult? They’ve matured further than that and the Authority had nothing to do with the attack last week. They have more important things to do tonight, including overseeing the contract signing. Stephanie is fair though and says Punk can bring up any concerns with Kane.

Kane reiterates that the Authority had nothing to do with the Shield’s attack, so this issue is resolved, unless Punk has any questions. Punk asks when Kane because this corporate suck up and advises Kane not to patronize him. Punk wants Kane in the ring right now but Stephanie holds him back. Instead here’s the Shield so Punk immediately grabs a chair. Stephanie tells Shield to stop because Punk is to be respected and admired. She leaves so Kane makes a handicap match for TLC with Punk vs. all three members of Shield.

Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at TLC so Langston is at ringside. Ziggler hits a quick dropkick for two and a clothesline puts Sandow down. Langston says he’d rather face Dolph instead of saying he’d like to face either guy. They head to the floor with Ziggler being dropped face first onto the steps for a two count. Langston talks about competing in Skip-It with Ziggler back when they were close to confuse JBL.

The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow but he misses a middle rope moonsault. Ziggler rains down right hands in the corner and drops Sandow with a neckbreaker for two. A sunset flip gets the same and Sandow misses his running flip neckbreaker. The Fameasser gets two on Damien but Ziggler gets crotched on the top and You’re Welcome sends Sandow to TLC at 3:54.

Rating: C. This was something the title has missed for far too long: someone winning a match over an established name to earn a title shot. There’s nothing overly complicated to that idea and it works fine here. Langston doesn’t have to lose a match to set it up, Sandow gets a win and we have a title match down the road. Why is that so much to ask for most of the time?

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

AJ skips away post match.

Here’s Wade Barrett’s new gimmick: Bad News Barrett, standing at a podium next to the announcers’ desk. He has good news and bad news for us. The good: we’re live on Raw. The bad: we’re stuck in a place full of hillbillies that had to name their city after the state they live in. Barrett thanks the crowd and the words #Bad News Barrett appear on screen. End segment.

Orton demands that Brad Maddox tell the WWE Universe that he’s a bigger star and a more well known name than Cena.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

So after disappearing last week, Bryan appears to be fine. There’s no Bray in sight. Bryan goes after Rowan to start before grabbing a sleeper, only to be flipped down onto his back. A hard slam puts Bryan down as JBL talks about Shakespeare writing psycho babble. The beating continues with Rowan throwing Bryan to the floor, only to be dropkicked in the ribs on the way back in. Bryan’s dive is caught in mid air and Rowan slams him into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but being slammed right back down instead. Rowan takes him to the floor and sends Bryan into the steps but Bryan comes back with a drop toehold into the corner. The running dropkick staggers Rowan but Bryan charges into an elbow to put him down. Some knees to the head get two for Erick and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Bryan’s back.

Daniel tries another comeback but charges into a fallaway slam. Rowan hits a running splash in the corner for two as JBL thinks Bryan should join the Wyatt Family. Bryan finally comes back with a dropkick to send Rowan to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Erick down but the big YES Kick is blocked. Bryan is put on the top rope and kicked in the face but he slides down Rowan’s back for the rollup pin at 14:03.

Rating: C+. This was the power vs. speed formula worked very well. On top of that it made Rowan look better than he ever has before as he dominated about twelve minutes out of the fourteen in the match. What more can you ask for from a match to build up the Bryan vs. Bray feud?

Post match Bray pops up on screen and tells the Wyatts to stand down. He talks about doing a lot of horrible things since he’s been on this earth and that he can admit when he’s in the wrong. Bray was wrong about Bryan when he thought Bryan was just chasing the improbable dream. How long is Bryan willing to live this lie and soil their red carpet? They look at Bryan like he’s a gorilla in a cage and will never love him like Bray could. Together they could bring the machine to its knees if Bryan will just open his eyes.

Post break Bryan is walking around in the back when he runs into Kane. The big man congratulates him on his success but makes Bryan vs. the three members of the Wyatt Family at TLC. We even get a mini-finger pointing yes from Kane.

Xavier Woods/R-Truth vs. Tons of Funk

This is over Woods borrowing Brodus’ music a bit too much. Brodus slams Woods down to start and apparently has scales on the back of his singlet now. Off to Tensai for some shoulders but Woods fights back with forearms. Truth comes in and pounds away on Tensai but gets run over with ease. The catapult sends him throat first into the middle rope and it’s back to Clay for some gyrations.

Truth comes back with a forearm to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag off to Woods. Things speed up a bit and the Honor Roll gets two on Clay but he comes back with the release suplex. Woods avoids the middle rope splash and gets the most awkward looking side roll you’ll see in a long time for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. The fans were silent for most of this but the match was decent enough from a technical standpoint. Woods will grow on the fans if he’s allowed to be the comedy character he’s best at, but being Truth’s lackey isn’t going to do much for him. This is as good a way as any to bring him in though.

Clay glares at Tensai post match.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sin Cara has a large tattoo on his arm and shoulder, which means it might be Hunico under the mask instead of Mistico. The lighting is back again. Cara scores with a top rope armdrag and some kicks to the legs before a spinning armdrag off the top puts him down again. Del Rio heads to the floor and gets (mostly) caught by an Asai Moonsault.

Back in and Del Rio kicks Cara out to the floor before putting on a chinlock. A double stomp to Cara’s back gets two but Cara comes back with a nice to rope headbutt. Sin gets two off a spinning springboard cross body but gets caught in a German suplex for two. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and gets caught by a Swanton Bomb for the huge upset at 4:43.

Rating: C. Has the writing staff completely changed tonight? We’ve had a #1 contenders match for a midcard title, a feud over stolen music and now a completely clean upset win. These are actually fresh ideas and they’re really helping things. WWE has been needing some new plot devices and it’s very nice to see some happening tonight.

Cena talks about the argument over which title is better raging for fifty years. We get a Flair and Hogan imitation to perk the false history up a little bit before Cena says the titles mean everything.

Shield says Punk can’t last with any of them at TLC.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Big Show vs. Shield

Big Show starts with Ambrose with the giant taking over with a headbutt and elbow drop. There’s the skin ripping chop in the corner and it’s off to Rollins who gets clotheslined inside out. We get the showdown with Reigns who has his vest ripped open for an even louder chop. Reigns goes to the eyes to bring in Ambrose, only to have him get slammed off the top.

Goldust and Cody both get their turns with some shots to Ambrose before Cody hits a seated knee for two. A delayed release front suplex gets two on Rollins and it’s back to Goldie for a few moments. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Cody who cleans house in the Shield corner. The moonsault press gets two on Ambrose but Dean escapes Cross Rhodes. Dean cranks on Cody’s arm to take over and we take a break.

Back with Rollins cranking on Cody’s arm before bringing Dean in again to stomp at the ribs. Roman comes back in and works on the arm even more before Rollins hits a splash in the corner. Cody finally gets in a shot to Dean’s ribs but Reigns breaks up the tag. Roman’s elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Big Show. Ambrose low bridges Big Show to the floor for an eight count before Rollins can hit the top rope knee for no cover. Reigns puts on a front facelock and gets two off a shoulder block before it’s back to Dean for a sleeper.

Show suplexes him down and chokeslams an invading Reigns, giving us the final hot tag to Goldust. The Golden one hits his uppercut and a freaking hurricanrana of all things as everything breaks down. Dean dropkicks Cody to the floor but Big Show low bridges Ambrose out as well. Goldust’s powerslam puts Rollins down but Reigns spears Big Show. Cody takes out Reigns off to the apron but might have injured his elbow. Goldust loads up a superplex on Dean but Seth gets a quick rollup on Goldust for the pin at 20:40.

Rating: B-. The match picked up a lot at the end but felt like it was filling in time until the end of the match. The problem for me is the Rhodes brothers and Shield have fought in some combination six times on TV since the beginning of November alone. They need to keep these teams apart for awhile to make the matches feel special again before the magic goes away.

Punk is asked about how he feels for the handicap match. Apparently he feels pretty and witty and gay but changes his mind. He knows he’s going down but wants to know how many members of the Shield he’s taking with him.

More Bad News Barrett. The bad news is Americans celebrated Thanksgiving, meaning their arteries are now clogged and they sweat when they eat. End segment.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/The Miz

Axel and Miz get things going with Miz taking over with a clothesline. Off to Kofi to crank on the arm and bring Miz back in with an ax handle to the shoulder. Axel’s clothesline to the back of the head puts Miz down and it’s back to Ryback. The monster shoves Miz around and clotheslines his head off to follow up. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug on the mat to work on the ribs.

Back to Axel for a dropkick before Ryback comes in again with a kick to the head. The second bearhug doesn’t last long either as Miz fights out, eventually making the hot tag to Kofi. Things speed up a bit and Kofi pounds away in the corner, only to be distracted by Axel, allowing Ryback to take over. A Shell Shock out of nowhere ends Kingston at 5:57.

Rating: D. Ryback and Axel are fine as a team but the match was there as a way to advance Kofi vs. Miz even more. Miz’s heel turn has worked decently so far as he’s getting to be the jerk that he naturally is, but he needs to do more than just roll up Kofi all the time. Dull match for the most part.

Post match Miz slaps Kofi.

Los Matadores sell us stuff.

Fandango vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws Fandango around to start and gyrates to Summer a bit. Well he was Sexual Chocolate after all. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and hits a few shots, including a top rope cross body. It looked like Henry was supposed to catch him in midair but fell backwards instead. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Fandango at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Henry dancing was funny but that’s about it. This was even more fime filling tonight on a show that didn’t need any more of that at all. I can’t complain about seeing Summer Rae twice in a single night and she looked great out there but there wasn’t much else to talk about here.

We look at Titus in the food eating contest and then getting sick in JBL’s hat.

Real Americans vs. Prime Time Players

Titus runs over Swagger to start as the announcers talk about stomach ailments. A Cesaro distraction doesn’t do much as Titus sends Jack flying in a release fallaway slam. Swagger gets a boot up in the corner to send O’Neal to the floor followed by a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb sets up the jumping double stomp for two as the announcers think Titus might get sick again.

A double back elbow gets two for the Americans and we hit the armbar. Now it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro before he loads up the Swing. Swagger and Colter tell him not to for fear of Titus getting sick but Cesaro does a short version. O’Neal looks to be getting sick but falls into the corner for a tag off to Young. Darren cleans house with some nice suplexes but dives into the uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I guess this is another of those matches where they’re appealing to a certain demographic, but it’s certainly not mine. This wasn’t funny but I’ve never been one for the gross out style of comedy. If nothing else, Titus deserves better than this. I can’t believe I’m saying that but it’s true.

The new champion will be called the Unified Champion. I can’t imagine they’ll go with that.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the contract signing. They make it clear that there will be ONE champion after the title match which is a good thing to make definitive. Both guys come out and HHH runs down the history of both titles, of course playing up the made up history of the World Title. Both guys sign and Orton talks about all the greats that have held the title, but he’s better than all of them.

Orton says he and the people here have something in common: they don’t like Cena very much. He’s the only person capable of taking Cena down and he’ll do that in two weeks. Cena says they’ve met before and Orton reminds Cena of kicking his dad in the head. The only reason Cena is on this earth is to lose every big match he’s ever in. The only dream Orton has ever turned into a nightmare was HHH’s because Orton never lived up to his potential.

Orton was supposed to be the best but he let a guy in a t-shirt and a ball cap take him down. Cena never asked to be the face of anything and he earned his title instead of having it handed to him. He may not be the Apex Predator but he’s John Cena. John challenges Randall to make a move but if he does he’ll show him what tables, ladders and chairs are all about. Orton flips the table and the fight is on.

Cena hits him with a ladder but Orton sends him into the post to take over. Orton loads up the announce table but Cena blasts him with another ladder and some chair shots to back it up. Randy is sent into the steps and back inside but he gets in a ladder shot of his own. Some chair shots put Cena down and Orton loads up a table. Cena sends him through a table in the corner though and it’s an AA through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is another show where it needed to be two hours. There were some actually fresh ideas out there with Sin Cara beating Del Rio intriguing me. Hunico is a better fit for the character and could take it to some far better places than Mistico. The bulk of the second half felt like a lot of time filler though which doesn’t make for an entertaining show. The good was stronger than the bad but also less frequent which drags the show down slightly. Still decent enough though.

Results

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Erick Rowan – Rollup

Xavier Woods/R-Truth b. Tons of Funk – Oklahoma roll to Clay

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Shield b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big Show – Rollup to Goldust

Real Americans b. Prime Time Players – Uppercut to Young

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 27, 2000
Location: Hilton Coliseum, Ames, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re approaching Armageddon here and we’re just past Survivor Series. Angle is world champion at the moment but I don’t think his opponent has been announced for the next PPV yet. The main event tonight is Angle vs. Austin in I believe a non-title match. Austin isn’t quite yet back to his levels before he took the year off for neck surgery, so it’s hard to say what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Smackdown of Austin snapping and beating up everyone in sight.

Here’s Angle to open the show in full warmup gear. He talks about how he’s amazing and all, but he doesn’t like having to look over his shoulder every time he performs. Angle says wrestling is the only profession where someone can assault you on the job and not get in trouble but be praised! Kurt talks about Taker, HHH and Austin attacking people and how it’s just another day at the office. He’s had it because he’s a wrestler and not a sports entertainer. This is goofy Kurt still, so this isn’t a big shoot or anything.

We’re thirteen days away from a show called Armageddon and if these acts of violence don’t end, he’s taking the title and going home. Here are Commissioner Foley and Lieutenant Commissioner Debra who aren’t cool with that. Foley talks about how Stephanie keeps interfering in Kurt’s matches but Kurt says that makes no difference while insulting Iowans’ intelligence.

Mick says Stephanie and HHH aren’t expected to be here tonight due to some travel issues. There’s going to be a world title match at Armageddon if Angle is still champion. It’s Rock vs. Rikishi for the title shot, but that’s not all. Also, Angle has to defend against someone to be announced later.

Rock arrives.

Edge and Christian talk about how the year 2000 is a vintage year for sodas when Angle comes in. Edge: “You totally presented arguments and backed them up with logic and reasoning!” Edge and Angle try to figure out who Kurt is facing tonight when Christian sees Taker arriving on a monitor. Edge: “Holy rematches Kurt!”

Trish Stratus/T&A vs. Hollies

All three of the Holly cousins here. The girls start with Trish firing off some kicks to start. Molly fights back with chops to the ample target of Trish’s chest. Trish brings in Test to face Hardcore in an ECW preview. Test pounds away in the corner but gets caught by a top rope cross body for two. Off to Crash for a missile dropkick (and a POP) for two but Test pounds him about the head and shoulders.

The future Tensai comes in and hits a delayed butterfly suplex for two. Crash gets to play Ricky Morton a bit and we get his usual good selling. A jawbreaker allows the tag to Hardcore who kicks Albert low to take over. Well when all else fails I guess. Everything breaks down and Molly hits a flip dive off the apron to take Trish down. Hardcore ducks the big boot of Test so that it knocks out Albert and a dropkick gets the pin on the big bald guy.

Rating: D+. The Hollies were a decent midcard act and putting the over a team like this was fine. It helped that Molly had this great cuteness to her and she was poured into the tops she wore. Trish was just a gorgeous blonde at this point that didn’t have any skills in the ring at all but she would get better.

Angle sucks up to Kane (“You’re welcome over for Christmas!”) and asks to talk about something related to Taker. Kane goes with Kurt.

Rock is going to be on some TV show.

Rikishi says he deserves the title shot and that he’ll take out Rock tonight once and for all.

Taker is tuning up his bike when Kane jumps him and the brawl is on. Angle/Edge/Christian are watching on a monitor and seem very pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Billy beat Eddie on Smackdown to win the title and this is the rematch. Eddie starts fast but gets caught in the corner and punched in the face. A clothesline gets two for Gunn but a charge in the corner misses Eddie. Guerrero chokes away in the corner and we head to the outside. Gunn holds his back and we head back in for a belly to back suplex for two from Eddie.

Billy gets rammed into the buckle a few times and it’s all Eddie so far. The champ comes back with a powerslam for two but Eddie dropkicks him in the face to shift momentum right back. Eddie goes up top but gets superplexed right back down to put both guys on the mat. Back up and Gunn hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two but here’s Saturn with a distraction that gets two for Eddie. Malenko comes in and blasts Billy in the back but Billy hits a quick cobra clutch slam on Eddie to retain.

Rating: C-. This was short and not great, but they certainly put Billy over strong. It’s not that it mattered much as Benoit would win the title soon, but for the time it was a good rub for him. I’m not sure why they kept pushing Billy as the guy just didn’t work in singles matches, but at least they were trying I guess.

The Radicalz come in for a four on one beatdown on Gunn post match. Benoit would get the title in a few weeks.

During the break, Taker talked to Foley and gets a match with Kane tonight.

Here’s Angle to watch the #1 contenders match.

Rikishi vs. The Rock

Rock won the first match between these two at Survivor Series. Rock pounds away to start and takes the fat guy down with a clothesline. A Samoan Drop gets two and Rock keeps hammering away. Rikishi gets in some shots but Rock punches him right back down. The guy in the thong hits a belly to belly suplex but Rock puts him down with a spinebuster to set up the Sharpshooter but Angle runs in for the DQ. Nothing match here that was all about the run-in ending. Rock wins by DQ if that’s not clear.

Dean Malenko is hitting on Lita but gets turned down, so The Radicalz ram a door onto Lita and the Hardys gets in a brawl with them as a result. The Hardys get left laying due to the numbers game.

Undertaker vs. Kane

It’s a big brawl to start of course with Kane taking over early on. Taker comes back with a big boot and a clothesline for two. A side slam gets two for Kane and we head to the floor. Taker rams his brother into the barricade to slow him down but back in, Kane stomps away to gain control again. Actually scratch that as Taker hits a chokeslam but Edge and Christian run in for the lame DQ before Taker can load up the Last Ride.

Rating: D. What are you expecting from a Kane vs. Undertaker match in a four minute match with a run-in ending? These two didn’t really work that well when Taker was a biker, and when you consider how bad their matches got when he was the Dead Man, that should tell you a lot about how bad things got.

Angle runs in as well to make it a big four on one beatdown.

Post break Foley yells at Angle for being a coward, but Angle says he did what he has to do to keep the title. Foley says the title is on the line tonight and if Edge and Christian interfere, they’re gone for 90 days. Angle’s opponent: Steve Austin.

K-Kwik/Road Dogg vs. Steven Richards/Val Venis

Kwik is more famous as R-Truth, so I’ll be referring to him as Truth for the sake of my own simplicity. Richards says he and the RTC will keep doing things until people see things their way. Dogg and Truth take over in a hurry with the RTC being sent to the floor. Truth gets thrown on top of all of them with Lawler being glad that Ivory may have hurt her ankle. It’s Venis vs. Dogg to start with Roadie taking over. Back to Truth who shouts at the crowd and punches a lot.

Back to Road Dogg to face Richards with the guy in a tie hitting a suplex for two. Both Richards and Roadie try cross bodies and both guys go down in a heap. It’s a double tag and the advantage goes to Truth, meaning it’s time to dance. Everything breaks down and the RTC gets sent into each other. Truth’s piledriver is countered into a sitout Alabama Slam by Val which gets two, so Richards loads up Truth in a superplex. Since this is the WWF and not ECW, Richards gets countered into a sitout gordbuster for the pin for Truth.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Truth and Dogg never were anything special. The rapping thing was an attempt to get Road Dogg away from the Outlaws, which makes little sense when you remember how much rhyming he did in his Outlaws intros. The RTC was a solid midcard stable, especially considering they were a parody of the real life PTC.

Foley is outside getting a breath of air when Debra comes out to tell him it’s cold. Tiger Ali Singh, basically the original Jinder Mahal, comes up with Low Down and says they should be allowed inside. Tonight it’s Singh vs. Steve Blackman for the Hardcore Title, which makes scares Singh.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Hardy Boys/Chris Jericho

Jericho is a mystery partner. It’s a big brawl to start with Benoit and Jericho fighting on the floor. We get the classic one heel falls onto the other heel’s balls with Dean falling on Saturn, followed by Poetry in Motion to Malenko. Things finally settle down and it’s Jeff vs. Dean to start things off. This is when Dean was a ladies’ man which never worked at all. Off to Benoit with the Radicalz in control.

Jeff grabs a sunset flip out of the corner on Benoit for two but it’s quickly back to Saturn for more of a beating. The Radicalz take turns on Jeff’s leg and make a lot of quick tags. Saturn cannonballs down on the leg but Jeff mule kicks Dean away. Hot tag brings in Jericho who cleans house. Everything breaks down and Jeff dives onto everything out Dean and Jericho on the floor. In the ring it’s the Liontamer on Malenko for the submission.

Rating: C. Just a six man here but it would put Jericho in the feud against the Radicalz which resulted in Jericho vs. Benoit at the Rumble in an awesome ladder match. The Hardys and the other two Radicalz didn’t mean much here but they filled in spots as well as anyone else would have.

Post match Eddie runs in and it’s a big Radicalz beatdown.

Edge and Christian give Angle a pep talk.

Hardcore Title: Tiger Ali Singh vs. Steve Blackman

Singh is in a suit here and is challenging. Tiger runs to the floor before the bell rings so Blackman beats him up out there. We head into the ring and Tiger gets beaten up even more. There’s a trashcan lid to Tiger’s head and a bulldog onto the same lid. Blackman gets his signature sticks but Tiger hides in the corner. The hiding only works for awhile and the beating continues. Blackman rips off the turban and a top rope kendo stick shot ends this massacre. Tiger literally had zero offense.

Rating: D. I don’t know what the point of this was but at least it wasn’t that long. Blackman finally found something he was good at in the Hardcore stuff, but other than that guy was nothing interesting at all. Singh was a guy that was always around but never did anything and I have no idea why he had a job for as long as he did.

Edge and Christian say they’ll be there for Kurt as soon as the match ends. Rock comes in and fights the Canadians until Foley breaks it up. Edge and Christian get ejected from the arena.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Angle is defending of course. Angle immediately takes it to the mat and Austin is frustrated. Kurt heads to the floor and shows off the medals a bit. I love goofy Kurt as only he would try to tick Austin off even more. Back in and Steve takes it to the mat with a headlock to slow things up. Angle fights up and tries a leapfrog but gets caught in the headlock one more time.

They run the ropes a bit and Kurt hooks a front facelock as the fans are chanting something pro-Austin. Austin busts out a freaking fireman’s carry and drops some knees to take over again. Angle takes it right back to the mat and hooks a backslide for two. Kurt’s belly to belly is broken up by right hands but Angle sends him to the floor. Austin rams him into the table and we head back inside. This is a very different kind of match but it’s working quite well.

Angle hooks a suplex for two and now he’s getting frustrated. Austin hooks a sleeper but Angle sends him to the floor to escape. Back in and it’s an abdominal stretch for the champion and he has the toe hooked. Gorilla Monsoon smiles on you Angle. After Kurt gets caught escaping the ropes, Austin rams Angle face first into the buckle a few times. Back to the floor they go and nothing of note happens there, so we head back in for the Thesz press. Here comes Stephanie trying to look intimidating but Austin flips her off instead. Kurt grabs a rollup for two but Austin hits the Stunner….and here’s HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B. This was a very old school style match but it worked really well. Austin’s technical abilities are often forgotten because he’s a legendary brawler, but he could certainly hold his own on a mat. Using a lot of holds here was a nice change of pace instead of these two punching each other for ten minutes. Having HHH show up after being dropped in a car off a forklift eight days ago was stupid back then and it’s stupid now too, but that’s the WWF for you.

HHH beats on Austin even more and stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was pretty exhausting. All of these short matches didn’t do anything for me other than maybe the six man. Aside from that it was stuff setting up for later, which is ok but it gets annoying for two hours. The main event is good and I’m assuming that’s why this was requested, but other than that there’s nothing to see here at all.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 17, 2003
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and this show is already giving me a headache. Last week’s episode was absolutely worthless with nothing being accomplished (almost literally) and Bischoff being right back where he started after being fired earlier in the night. That’s the kind of thing you get on an episode of the Jetsons or some low level sitcom. Let’s get to it.

Also I’m going to start doing four in a row of both 1997 and 2003 Raw. I’ve been doing these series over a year and I’m not even to Wrestlemania yet.

Theme song gets us going.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

Kane and Regal are at ringside due to the newly announced tag title match on Sunday. They trade flipping counters to start until Van Dam gets his stepover kick to the jaw to put Storm down. Lance takes him into the corner but gets caught by a middle rope cross body for two. Rob rolls to the apron and suplexes Storm next to him for an apron slugout, only to have Rob get slammed face first into the barricade. Back in and a springboard clothesline gets two for Lance as the crowd is trying to get into this.

Lance chokes away in the corner and actually tries to talk trash, which goes about as well as you would expect. Off to a facelock on Van Dam as Regal is pleased with how evil Lance is looking. Back up and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick before clotheslining Storm a few times. The middle rope kick to the chest gets two but Storm grabs Rob’s leg and puts on the Mapleleaf. A rope is quickly grabbed and Rob kicks Lance in the face, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. Regal tries to break up the Five Star but Kane takes care of him with ease. Storm’s superplex attempt is broken up and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was fine from a technical standpoint but it didn’t do anything for the match at all. You have to have the challengers win the match before the title match to make it look like the titles are in jeopardy so the winner was pretty clear. Hopefully Kane and Van Dam can breathe some life into the titles on Sunday.

Shawn talks to Jeff Hardy about losing his luggage on a flight when Bischoff walks up. Michaels sarcastically tells him good luck on Sunday but Bischoff says he has an announcement that might make Shawn need luck.

Here’s Bischoff with something special for us. There’s someone here that the fans have been wanting for a long time and Bischoff has some unfinished business. That man is here tonight and it’s…..Chief Morely, who is officially reinstated. JR: “Well boy howdy, happy days are here again.” As for tonight, it’s Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy vs. Christian/Chris Jericho in a No DQ match.

Also the Dudley Boys have been suspended, meaning there will be no tables tonight. We get a clip of them being thrown out earlier, and I’m sure they won’t be here again tonight. However that was just Bubba and D-Von being thrown out, so tonight it’s Spike vs. Rico and 3 Minute Warning in a handicap match. Finally, Bischoff talks about how awesome he is at martial arts and is going to give us an exhibition tonight against one Jim Ross. Pretty standard “I’m the evil GM” promo here.

Steven Richards wants Victoria to talk to Jazz before their tag match tonight. They have their talk and it’s about as cordial as sitting on a porcupine.

Jacqueline/Molly Holly vs. Victoria/Jazz

Victoria is Womens’ Champion but Jazz shoves her out of the way to beat up Molly. The beating ensues for a few seconds until Jackie makes the save. Off to Victoria for her spinout side slam for two on Molly. Victoria screams her a bit before poewrslaming Molly down for two. She loads up the slingshot legdrop but Jazz comes in to steal the cover for two. Off to Jackie who elbows both Jazz and Victoria in the face but Jazz throws Jackie into Victoria to send the champion to the floor. A DDT ends Jackie quick.

Jazz beats up Jackie to complete silence which JR says is the crowd being in awe.

We recap Goldust being attacked by Evolution and getting electrocuted.

Booker T says Goldust has some neurological problems since the attack. He swears revenge on Evolution.

Evolution makes fun of Goldust’s condition. They’ll take Steiner out tonight too.

Lawler and JR talk about Curt Hennig’s passing and give us a nice video package on him. It includes the sports videos which still work like a charm.

Rodney Mack vs. Al Snow

Before the match, Mack’s manager Teddy Long promises that Mack will beat down the white man. “Al Snow? It doesn’t get any whiter than that.” He also says a black man has the same chance to be president that Snow has tonight. Snow takes him down to start but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. A powerslam gets two for Rodney but Al comes back with a running forearm and the headbutts. Snow’s moonsault hits knees though and Mack ends him with an AWESOME looking double underhook powerbomb, though Snow landed on the back of his head (intentionally). I loved that move on Smackdown vs. Raw.

Jericho and Christian are ready for their match and Jericho slaps his gum away ala Hennig. That made me smile.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy

This is No DQ and Shawn is in street clothes. It’s a brawl to start with Shawn taking Christian out to the floor. Jeff catapults Jericho outside as well but the barricade run is caught in a powerslam. Shawn gets double teamed and the heels handcuff him to the corner. Hardy gets double teamed for a bit before it’s off to Christian for some stomps to the face. More Canadian double teaming ensues and the reverse DDT puts Hardy down again. Jericho goes after Shawn but gets choked with Shawn’s free arm.

Christian makes the save and Jericho whips Shawn with his belt. However, like any stupid villain, Jericho taunts Shawn with the keys. Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind on Christian which distracts Jericho, allowing Shawn to superkick him down and grab the key. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house even though the fans don’t seem interested. The heels are sent to the floor and Shawn backdrops Jeff onto Christian. Jericho brings in a chair but gets it superkicked into his face. A Swanton is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all about the story rather than the match itself. Jericho is feuding with Test, even though the writers don’t seem to remember him at all. We need to get to the Shawn vs. Jericho feud already because neither guy has anything special going on at all right now. Match was there but the fans didn’t care.

Jericho freaks out and wants a piece of Jeff Hardy.

Hurricane vs. Christopher Nowitski

Hurricane quickly takes him down to start and gets two off an Oklahoma roll. Nowitski bails to the floor but gets caught with a hurricanrana off the apron. Back in and Chris chokes away on the top rope before we hit the chinlock. Hurricane fights up and gets another rollup for two, only to be caught in a nice toss into the air spinebuster. Not that it matters as the Eye of the Hurricane is good for the pin on Chris a few seconds later.

Rating: C. Nothing terrible here but it worked well enough. Hurricane wasn’t bad in this role but it never went anywhere until Rock came back to give him the biggest rub of his career. Nowitski was decent but he never quite got to the level people were expecting of him. Again the match was fine but nothing special.

Morely and Bischoff warm up with Morely making fun of JR.

Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

There’s nothing to say here. The three dominate Spike for about three and a half minutes and Rico pins Spike after a top rope splash from Jamal. There was nothing to talk about in between.

We run down the PPV card. To say it looks bad for the Raw side is an understatement. The only good thing about this preview is Bring Me To Life as the theme song. Also Edge is listed for a six man tag but wouldn’t make it due to his neck injury, putting him out for over a year.

Scott Steiner, as calm as you’ll ever hear him, says he knows he can beat HHH and will do it on Sunday. Booker comes up and wants to win the tag match tonight.

Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. HHH/Batista

HHH and Booker get us going with Booker leapfrogging the Game and hitting a kick to the face. A backdrop puts HHH down for two but Batista gets in a cheap shot from the apron, setting up the knee to the face to give Evolution control. The still very green Batista comes in for a hard clothesline in the corner and another one in the middle of the ring. Back to HHH but Booker rolls into the corner for the hot tag off to Steiner.

A bunch of chops have HHH in trouble and the spinning belly to belly suplex puts him down again. The fans continue to not care at all, which should be a good sign for what’s going to happen on Sunday and beyond. Flair tries to interfere but gets stalked up the ramp by Steiner. The distraction lets HHH send Steiner out to the floor so Orton can get in some cheap shots. Really basic formula stuff so far which is the last thing this show needs right now.

Back in and HHH puts on a sleeper which is quickly broken. The crowd is almost eerily silent here. Everything breaks down off the hot tag to Booker and house is cleaned. Batista runs him over with the clothesline but Steiner breaks up a Pedigree. Orton gets slammed off the top as Steiner clears the ring. HHH takes a scissors kick out of nowhere to give Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but it had nothing to it. The ending was a nice surprise but Steiner vs. HHH is just death and WWE figured that out by this point. This crowd is just dead though and it needed more than a generic tag match to fix that. Batista looked good in the short spurts he was in there though which is a good sign for the future.

Coach takes over JR’s spot on commentary for the main event.

Eric Bischoff vs. Jim Ross

Bischoff breaks some boards and a watermelon before the match to show how awesome he is. JR comes to the ring in his announcing clothes and Eric makes it no holds barred because he can. He looks at Morely as he says this to really hammer in the idea. Lawler is really worried but of course he stays seated.

Bischoff does some karate poses but gets punched in the face. Morely comes in to beat JR down and puts a cinder block against Ross’ head so Bischoff can kick it in half. This finally brings Lawler down to take Morely down, but a Bischoff distraction lets Morely take the King down. JR is busted open. More kicks put Ross down and Bischoff covers him with a half nelson for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling. I’m not sure what it was, but it wasn’t wrestling. I’d like to point out that we’re spending the last segment of a show showing how Eric Bischoff could be a threat to STEVE AUSTIN. At least with Vince he would have some major backup, but Eric is going to have who? Morely? That’s supposed to be intriguing?

Bischoff drinks beer and says Austin catchphrases to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of the worst kind of shows you can have. The wrestling wasn’t horrible, but there was nothing interesting to it at all. I’m supposed to be fired up for Austin annihilating Bischoff in a two minute match on Sunday? That or a rematch of HHH vs. Steiner? There’s just nothing interesting here and I have no idea why people stayed on at this point.

Here’s No Way Out if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/02/23/on-this-day-february-23-2003-no-way-out-2003-rock-vs-hogan-ii/

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 25, 2013
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York,
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Survivor Series and not a lot has changed. The main events all went exactly the same way everyone expected them to, but there was a surprise at the ending. John Cena and Randy Orton, both world champions, stood alone in the ring, seemingly teasing a title unification match at some point down the line. There might be some development on that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We recap the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He brags about doing what he said he’d do and rise about the giant to keep the title last night. Orton asks HHH and Stephanie to come out here for something to say, and the Authority obliges. They seem very pleased with Orton on the way to the ring and Stephanie brags about how awesome he was last night. Orton talks about HHH and Stephanie lied about the interference.

Stephanie says they set everything up and there was no physical interference just like they said. It was all to motivate Orton you see. That’s not cool with Randy though because he was able to beat Big Show on his own. He’s the face of the WWE and the biggest star in all of wrestling.

This brings out John Cena who thinks there’s more than one champion right now. He talks about the fans being tired of being coddled and thinks we need to find out who the better man is. Orton protests a bit but Cena cuts him off, saying that this match is 11 years in the making, but there’s no way to avoid this any longer. If Orton wants to, let’s get rid of one championship and see who really is better.

HHH and Stephanie like the idea quite a bit and say in three weeks at TLC, they’re going to hang both titles above the ring. It’s going to be John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. HHH never actually said the titles were on the line but I think that’s implied.

Shield vs. Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Shield jumps the good guys to start and pull Goldust to their corner for an early advantage. Ambrose pounds away but Goldust counters his running dropkick into a catapult to the floor. Goldust uppercuts Dean down and backdrops the now legal Rollins to the floor. Seth springboards into an atomic drop but Reigns comes in with a running clothesline for two as we take a break.

Back with Goldust fighting off Ambrose and making the hot tag to Mysterio. Things immediately speed up as Rey snaps off a headscissors to Rollins, only to have both guys try cross bodies at the same time. Double tags bring in Ambrose and Rhodes with Cody hitting the missile dropkick and an Alabama Slam as everything breaks down. Reigns is sent to the floor but Reigns spears him down. Goldust gets one as well but Cody dropkicks Reigns to the floor. A Disaster Kick sends him to the floor again but Ambrose sneaks in with the bulldog driver to pin Cody at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Very fast paced match here with everyone moving the entire way through. Reigns got his big spears in and the seeds of his face turn continue. Notice that Ambrose got the pin after his finisher, but it was Reigns taking out two of the three opponents. That could come into play later.

You can pick Ziggler vs. Sandow’s stipulations: street fight, lumberjack match or hardcore match.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest NFL legend Michael Strahan. Instead it’s Titus O’Neil in a suit with some of his teeth blacked out ala Strahan’s gap between his teeth. Titus imitates Strahan’s odd way of speaking but Miz wants to know what’s up with the gap. Miz: “That thing is wider than the gap between the Giants and the playoffs.” “Strahan” things that Titus is awesome but here’s the real Strahan to protest.

Strahan doesn’t think the gap humor is very funny but thinks the fans want to have some fun. Tonight there’s going to be a double team main event. It’s going to be Orton/Del Rio vs. John Cena/Big Show. Miz approves of Strahan’s hosting abilities but wants to know if he can hang in the ring. Strahan dosn’t mind the idea of a fight but Titus plays peacekeeper.

Apparently a simple move could put Strahan out of work and wants to know if Michael can handle a hiptoss. Michael blocks the hiptoss pretty easily so Titus takes his jacket off to try his luck. The same thing happens again as the fans are just silent. Miz makes fun of the Giants (Strahan’s old team who are having a terrible season) and gets taken down with ease. There’s a hiptoss for Titus as well to end on a fun moment….I think? The Millions of Dollars dance ensues.

How to download the App to vote for the stipulations.

Big E. Langston/Mark Henry vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Langston starts with Axel but the former Heyman Guys double team Langston down with a spinebuster and splash for two. Ryback gorilla presses him down for two and it’s back to Axel for some stomping. Langston fights up and powers Ryback down, allowing for the double tag off to Henry and Axel. Everything breaks down with the power guys cleaning house. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Axel at 2:32.

We recap the opening segment. JBL flat out says one of them is leaving with both titles. That’s the first official confirmation.

Total Divas vs. Team AJ

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

Aksana/AJ Lee/Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox

Yes, seriously and it’s elimination again. Brie starts with Aksana and gets a fast pin off something we missed due to the screen going dark. The Bellas double team Rosa for an elimination and it’s off to Cameron to face Tamina. Snuka easily throws her down so it’s off to Naomi for a double suplex on Tamina followed by some hip shaking. A superkick eliminates Naomi very quickly and it’s off to Cameron with a high cross body.

Tamina easily rolls through into a Samoan drop for the elimination but Natalya comes in to take out the monster. She slams Tamina down and tags in JoJo for the “shocking” pin. Alicia comes in and gets rolled up a few times, only to get caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the elimination. Eva comes in to some insane heel heat before countering a sunset flip out of the corner to Fox for a pin.

Off to Kaitlyn vs. Natalya with the Canadian making Kaitlyn tap out in just a few seconds. It’s AJ/Summer vs. the Bellas/Eva/Natalya and AJ comes in first. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter again but AJ rolls her up for the pin, taking care of that potential challenger. Brie comes in with the Bella Buster and the pin, leaving Summer all alone. Summer realizes she’s outnumbered and starts dancing. Nikki comes in and does the Worm to a pop but Summer completely fails at it. The Bellas won’t let her leave and Nikki grabs a torture rack backbreaker for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: F+. You know my opinion on this already. Just pick a Total Diva to win the title in the big season finale and be done with it already.

Sandow is in the ring to protest having to be in a match selected by the fans. The match is going to be a Hamptons Hardcore Match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

The Hamptons is a VERY rich neighborhood in New York so there are golf clubs and tennis rackets around the ring. Ziggler wears a New York Islanders jersey to suck up to the crowd even more. Various objects are uses to hit both guys, including a trashcan to send Ziggler to the floor. Dolph sends Sandow over the timekeeper’s table as Cole talks about the Mean Street Posse in the Attitude Era. Ziggler puts Sandow in the trashcan and dropkicks him down as we take a break.

Back with Sandow dropping knees to the chest but getting sent into a food cart of some kind. Damien drapes the Islanders jersey over Ziggler for the Wind-Up Elbow for some cheap but decent heat. They head outside where Ziggler gets in a blast from a fire extinguisher before heading back inside. A shot with a broom sets up the Fameass for two on Damien. Ziggler hits a delayed jumping DDT onto a chair for two but Daniem breaks the broom over Ziggler’s back. You’re Welcome onto the trashcan is enough to pin Ziggler at 11:35.

Rating: C. This was fine all things around and I could see them doing several of these over the next few weeks. It’s a simple idea and something different from what they usually do so I can’t complain about it being repetitive. The matches aren’t terrible either, though Zack Ryder must be crying over these.

Trailer for Miz’s new ABC Family movie.

Santino is in the back with Strahan when Erick Rowan comes up with a sheep mask. Strahan puts it on and they stare at each other for awhile. Santino thinks it has something to do with Thanksgiving and suggests some turkey cooking techniques. Another strange segment in a series tonight.

Renee Young brings out Punk and Bryan for a chat. Punk asks Bryan if they survived last night, earning a quick YES. Do they want to take on the Wyatts again with Bray included? YES! Are we in Long Island? YES! Is it weird that we both have microphones and keep shouting answers while Renee doesn’t ask us any questions? YES! What is a better team name: the Goats, the Best and the Beard or the Best Team in the World? Bryan: “….that’s not a yes or no question.” Bryan says they’re ready and asks Punk what time it is. IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME!!! The Wyatts come out and we take a break.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Three on two here. Punk and Rowan get things going with CM firing off kicks to the leg. Bryan comes in and kicks at the ribs like only he can but Rowan comes back with an elbow to the jaw. Off to Harper vs. Punk with CM taking Harper into the corner for some shoulders. Back to Bryan as they work on the other monster’s leg a bit this time. Harper comes back with a hard shot to the face and now it’s time for Bray himself.

Bray blasts Daniel in the jaw and drops him with a headbutt before bringing Rowan back in. Erick misses a big boot in the corner and the hot tag brings Punk in for some kicks and knees to the face. Rowan is knocked to the floor and Punk hits the suicide dive to send him into the barricade. Back in and the Macho Elbow gets two for Punk but Erick counters the GTS by LAUNCHING Punk out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Punk fighting out of a Rowan chinlock. Harper comes in before the comeback though and puts on the Gator Roll into a headlock. Rowan comes in again for some choking but Punk kicks him in the head to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan and Harper with Daniel dropkicking Bray out to the floor.

The FLYING GOAT takes Bray down again as Bryan speeds things way up. Back in and Harper catches Harper in a hurricanrana but Rowan breaks up the pin. Running dropkicks in the corner have the monsters in trouble but Harper hits the Michinoku Driver. Bray comes in for the big brawl and the match is thrown out at about 13:00.

Rating: C. Still good for the most part but nowhere near what last night’s match was. Rowan needs the ring time more than anything else right now so having two tag matches like this is a good thing for him. Bray being in the match helped too but it’s good that he was in small doses here. Fun match to continue the story.

Post match the heroes are laid out and Bryan gets taken away by the Wyatts. Punk goes after them but Shield takes Punk out in a surprise attack. The TripleBomb leaves Punk laying.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi starts fast with some hiptosses to frustrate Miz and things already slow down. Miz bails to the floor but Kofi stops himself from diving after him. Back in and we hit the front facelock on Miz but he counters into a headlock. Kofi fights out with ease and kicks Miz down to set up the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is blocked as well. The Figure Four doesn’t work and the SOS gets two. Kofi hits a cross body for two but Miz quickly rolls him up for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was fast paced for the most part but it wasn’t anything close to what they did last night. I’m still not sure what the idea is behind doing the same thing on back to back nights, especially when last night’s match was available for free. Kofi continues to be Kofi and no one cares about the Miz, so everything is the same.

Mick Foley, Dude Love and Mankind sell us stuff.

Some contest winner is here and already has shirts made for his gimmick: the Kosher Butcher. Ok then.

R-Truth is in the ring in street clothes to introduce Xavier Woods, who is being accompanied by the Funkadactyls tonight due a deal with Brodus Clay.

Xavier Woods vs. Heath Slater

Woods starts fast and flips Slater down to the mat before chopping in the corner. Slater avoids a charge in the corner and puts on a chinlock to kill more time. Woods fights up and hits the rolling clothesline followed by Lost in the Woods for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D. They did what they were hoping to do here but it didn’t really change anything at all. Woods is going to be fine in the midcard for awhile but I can’t picture him going much further than that. Then again, that’s not a bad career to have. R-Truth isn’t going to do him much more good though.

The Total Divas hit on Strahan as he signs autographs for them. Eva hits on him but Goldust pops up behind Strahan for his bite thing.

Steve Austin is voted as Rock’s greatest Wrestlemania rival.

Cena and Strahan are cool with each other.

John Cena/Big Show vs. Randy Orton/Alberto Del Rio

Big Show and Del Rio get us going with the giant hitting some of those loud chops of his. Del Rio is thrown to the corner and it’s Orton’s chance at Big Show. More chops put Orton down and an elbow drop crushes him as we take a break. Back with Cena missing a charge into the corner, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri for two. Orton comes in for a chinlock followed by a Del Rio DDT for two.

Cena gets in a shoulder block and brings in Big Show off the hot tag and house is cleaned. Del Rio comes back with the low superkick to put Big Show down and his eyes look dazed. Big Show falls down off the ropes and Del Rio rakes at his eyes to show how evil he is. Back to Orton who does very little before bringing Del Rio back in for a kick to the head.

Remember that Big Show was punted last night. The giant tries to tag Orton and the doctor comes in to check on him. Big Show says he’s ok so Orton takes him down with a DDT. Another punt is countered by a spear and there’s the hot tag to Cena. House is cleaned, armbreaker is countered, Del Rio is tapping at 15:33.

Rating: D+. This was all about Big Show, which is dumb given the match that’s coming. We needed a big showdown here between Cena and Orton and we got a chinlock instead. The match was nothing to see of note but Big Show’s injury could be interesting going forward. I can’t imagine sitting through Big Show vs. Del Rio though. That just sounds dreadful.

Post match Cena beats up Del Rio a bit more but Orton lays him out with the title. Orton poses with both belts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of those shows where what was good was good but what was bad was bad. They felt like they were really rushing through this show though, packing in as much stuff as they could into three hours. I’m not a fan of having another PPV in three weeks but I have a hard time the title is going to be unified at TLC three weeks after the story is set up. That’s fast even for WWE standards. The Strahan stuff could have been MUCH worse but it wasn’t anything of note at all. If you cut out the boring stuff on this, it’s a good show but as it is, it’s just passable.

Results

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Bulldog driver to Rhodes

Mark Henry/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam to Axel

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Torture Rack backbreaker to Summer Rae

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome onto a trashcan

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family went to a double disqualification when everyone brawled in the ring

Xavier Woods b. Heath Slater – Lost in the Woods

John Cena/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton – STF to Del Rio

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 19, 2001
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well the Invasion is over and I don’t think anyone is really complaining that it’s done. Tonight we basically hit a big reset button tonight as things get back to “normal” for the first time in months tonight. I have no idea what to expect with this show. Well ok I do as I remember watching it and the big surprise on it but it makes for a better intro if I say that. Let’s get to it.

We open with Foley and Vince on a plane earlier today. Foley says he knows that he’s getting fired, but Vince only says Have a Nice Day. That’s the last we would see of Mick Foley in the WWF/E for over a year and a half.

Here’s Vince to open the show and you know he’s happy after last night. He thanks Angle for ending the Alliance and says that ECW is dead. Until there was an opening due to high DVD sales of course. The WCW Title is now the World Championship, which is different from the WWF Championship because…..because this is called the World Championship. Also tonight, someone is going to become the inaugural member of Vince’s special club. That person gets to keep their job (along with the champions as they get to keep their jobs too).

That brings Vince to the leader of the Alliance. As soon as Austin arrives here tonight, Vince’s plans go into effect. There’s one more change: we have an empty seat on commentary. Vince brings out Paul Heyman who sits on the commentary desk, but Vince never said that Paul was the new commentator. Vince calls him into the ring and Heyman immediately starts sucking up.

McMahon says he’s a first amendment guy (Heyman: “And one of the best ever sir!”) and using his first amendment, he says that Heyman is fired. Heyman wants to fight but as the jacket comes off, Heyman runs. Heyman walks on the floor and then lunges at JR, who beats the tar out of him. Security pulls Heyman off and takes him out. Vince calls out Lawler to be JR’s partner again. That just feels right.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending after winning the title last night in a Six Pack Challenge. Last night Trish was seen coming out of the Hardys’ locker room when only Matt was in there so there’s some heat here. Trish is AWFUL at this point so don’t expect any kind of a good match here. Fifteen seconds in and they HORRIBLY botch a wristlock.

Spear gets two for Lita as does a sunset flip. Trish sends her into the middle rope for two before hitting an awkward slam. Lita hits a bad flapjack for another near fall before Trish kicks her in the chest to take over. An elbow misses for Stratus but she manages to shove Lita off the top to the floor. Trish kicks Lita into Matt so Matt throws Lita back in. Trish backslides her to retain. This was HORRIBLE.

Vince goes to see the Dudleys, Stacy, Test, Van Dam and Christian. These are the people who aren’t fired for being either champions, immune, or gorgeous. Vince punishes Van Dam for not accepting his offer to join the WWF a few months ago by making him face the Dudleys in a handicap tables match. The three of them and Stacy leave so Christian can suck up to Vinny a bit. That gets him nowhere.

Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boys

Jerry has to make up his flirting jokes about Stacy so he fires off a bunch to start. Van Dam has to fight them both off at once and makes D-Von clothesline Bubba by mistake. Rolling Thunder hits D-Von but Rob walks into a Bubba Bomb. Rob comes back by spearing Bubba into the corner, only to walk into a neckbreaker out of said corner from D-Von. Here are a pair of tables, one on the mat and one in the corner. Rob grabs a rope to avoid 3D and sends D-Von to the floor.

A kick takes Bubba down and a Van Daminator takes him down even more. D-Von comes back in and takes some kicks of his own, sending him onto a table. Van Dam goes for what would have been the longest Five Star ever, but he leaves it short (no shock) and breaks the table WITH HIS FACE. FREAKING OW MAN!!! The Dudleys pick up the dead body that used to be RVD and 3D him onto the table, as it doesn’t break. The second 3D wins it and I think Van Dam needs a doctor.

Rating: C. Van Dam has earned this rating on his own. It’s not that the Dudleys didn’t do anything, but those landings with Van Dam were SCARY, especially the Frog Splash. There was no point to this, but the handicap tables match was the signature “punishment” match in 2001. Van Dam should have gotten a bigger push in 2001.

Angle is here and he’s still smug.

Linda McMahon is at WWF New York, likely looking for Connecticut registered voters.

Angle goes in to see Rock and wants his thank you for the company still being in business. Rock isn’t amused and wants to know when Angle was planning on letting the WWF know when he was a mole. Angle spent a month blasting WWF guys with chairs but Angle says it was worth it. Rock agrees and says Angle should try to beat him up now. Angle says he’ll do it for the title. Rock will never trust either Angle or Vince again. I don’t think Rock accepted the challenge for the title match but maybe that was implied.

 

Shane and Stephanie arrive in a rental car. Stephanie could always make a living if she wore those dresses on the street.

 

Vince is in the ring again and apparently the acceptance of the match was implied as Vince says it’s happening. Austin isn’t here yet so let’s deal with his kids. Here they are and Vince says he likes hearing Stephanie called a w****. Shane tells Vince that he won and that he (Shane) lost to the better man. Shane leaves and that’s that.

 

Stephanie plays the daddy’s little girl card, calling herself young and naive. She blames Shane for everything that happened, including Linda getting slapped. It was Shane that made Stephanie slap Linda and tell Vince that she wanted him to die. She says she’s sorry and tries to cry. Vince calls for security and Stephanie is literally dragged away. Vince starts the goodbye song.

Jericho comes in to see Vince (notice his name coming up a lot tonight?) and Vince yells at him for putting the WWF in jeopardy last night by attacking Rock. Jericho says that it was due to his ego which Vince isn’t happy with. Vince doesn’t like big egos, but he loves MASSIVE egos. Oh and Jericho gets Kane tonight.

Mr. T. is here.

World Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

Rock is defending. Kurt gets in some early right hands to take over and Rock gets stomped. Rock comes back with punches of his own but he gets sent to the floor very quickly. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Kurt. There’s the ankle lock but Rock quickly breaks it. The countering doesn’t last long as he walks into a belly to belly to take him down again. Another belly to belly gets two and Kurt pounds away.

They’re clearly just going through the motions here but since tonight is pretty much resetting everything, it’s pretty much ok as the matches are just there to fill time until they figure out what they’re doing next. Angle goes up but gets crotched and Rock hits a belly to back superplex. Kurt clotheslines him down but Rock nips up and makes his comeback. Spinebuster looks to set up the Rock Bottom but Kurt counters into the Slam for no cover. Ankle lock is countered into a rollup for Rock to retain.

Rating: D+. Like I said they were going through the motions here and it didn’t do anything at all. They basically took the night off here and that’s ok. Angle threw in some suplexes to make it look like he was trying but they were clearly in very low gear. Angle would do nothing of note until he went to Smackdown in the Brand Split while Rock kept being Rock.

Angle attacks Rock post match and Jericho comes out to help him. Both use their submissions on Rock.

Here’s Vince for the 12^th time tonight for the Club stuff. The first inductee: William Regal. Regal offers to be a gopher for Vince but Vince says he meant the title of this club literally. Vince has Regal get on his knee and Vince takes his pants down. We’re watching one of Vince’s fantasies aren’t we? Vince takes his underwear down too and makes it dance. Oh wait Regal has to use chapstick first. Vince bends over a bit and Regal kisses it. Someone send Linda’s Senate opponent this clip NOW. The election will be over.

Regal gets laughed at by people like Taz, who still has a job because….someone help me out here. Regal slugs him.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Kane speeds things up to start and sends him into the corner. Jericho sends him into the rope and slingshots Kane’s throat into the bottom rope to take over. A swinging neckbreaker misses for the most part but we’ll count it anyway. Jericho grabs a chair which is quickly knocked out of his hand. Kane goes up and jumps into the chair for the DQ. This was nothing.

Jericho beats on Kane and puts him in the “Walls” (they couldn’t quite get it right either time they tried) and no one makes the save. Wasn’t Undertaker the one preaching about being a unit?

Creed Desire video.

Angle yells at Edge but Edge says he saved his own job by winning the IC Title last night. Edge accuses Angle of playing both sides last night. Their feud wouldn’t start for about six months if my memory is right.

William Regal vs. Taz

Taz punches, Tazmission is broken up, Regal Stretch ends this in less than a minute. Taz has a job because of being a commentator. Ok then. The arena is all smoky from Taz’s pyro.

Kurt is melancholy over not being thanked for saving the company, so Vince offers him the WWF Title.

Vince and Angle go to the ring and Vince tells the fans to thank Kurt for what he did last night. Vince says Austin can stay wherever he is because we need a dignified champion. This is a very fast heel turn by Vince who was the nicest guy in the world all night so far. Vince says that as the sole owner of the WWF, he’s going to….be interrupted by some very familiar music.

RIC FLAIR walks out (notice the location of the show) and the place goes bonkers. Vince calls Flair a has been but Flair is very happy. He says he bet on a winner last night when he bet on the WWF. Flair says Angle should win the world title in the ring like he’s capable of doing.

Vince keeps trying to get Flair out but Flair says that this morning when Shane and Stephanie sold their stock in the company (what stock? They had bought WCW and ECW, which in storylines were different companies. What stock would they still have in the WWF? I guess the idea is that Flair bought it in June, but he flat out says he bought it “this morning”. Eh it’s WWF logic so we’ll go with it) this morning, Flair bought it, so now he and McMahon are partners. The look on Vince’s face is GREAT.

Cue Austin who beats the tar out of Angle and runs him off. Flair hands Austin the title as Austin is a good guy again. A beer bash ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only good stuff to come out of this was in the last ten minutes, but it raises A TON of questions. First and foremost, WHY DIDN’T THEY BRING FLAIR IN SIX MONTHS AGO??? A Flair owned WCW and a Heyman owned ECW (what a strange business partnership that would have been) vs. the Vince owned WWF would have been a very interesting story, but instead that whole thing is gone, it appears to be Austin vs. Vince again, and Rock vs. Jericho is going to light things on fire for awhile. That’s one heck of a reset.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 18, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Tonight Raw goes country because WWE hates me. The only things we’ve been told about for tonight is the band Florida Georgia Line performing and likely being confronted by 3MB. Other than that we might get a confrontation between Oakland A’s pitcher Jason Reddick and Daniel Bryan because they’ve been having a Twitter feud. This is what life is like on the go home show for Survivor Series in 2013. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week’s struggle to fill in the power vacuum left due to the Authority being on vacation.

Langston vs. Axel for the Intercontinental Title tonight.

Here’s the Authority to open the show. HHH talks about how things went nuts in the absence of true authority and no one likes chaos. Those who caused things to fall apart last week, such as Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero, will be dealt with tonight. This brings out a ticked off Randy Orton who says that the Authority is to blame for a lot of the troubles around here.

They’re the ones that gave Big Show a title match he didn’t deserve and thinks he can’t beat Big Show on his own this Sunday on his own. HHH gets in his face but Stephanie plays peacekeeper. Brad and Vickie interrupt with Vickie saying excuse me in a very timid voice. Brad apologizes but insists it was all Vickie’s fault because that’s the kind of guy he is. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear this and makes individual matches for the GM’s. Vickie gets AJ and Brad gets Randy Orton. The latter of those two is right now. HHH makes it No DQ because he can. Maddox tries to leave but Kane stops him.

Randy Orton vs. Brad Maddox

No DQ. Brad bails to the floor then does it again when Orton goes for him. Maddox gets on a mic and says Orton doesn’t want to do this but gets caught running away again. Orton tries to get him into the ring but Brad hits him with the microphone before sending him into the post. A DDT gets two in the ring and Orton is MAD. He throws Brad over the top rope and then over the announce table. Maddox is sent into the steps and loses his shirt before Orton posts him. The Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Maddox out cold. Back in and Orton hits him about 25 times in the head with the microphone until the referee stops it 3:50.

Rating: N/A. This was a glorified segment rather than a match so I’m not going to bother rating it. They’re going to turn Maddox face at this rate which isn’t a bad idea for the most part. They need someone with authority to stand up to the Authority, even though the Authority would likely just strip him of his job. The fans seem to be into Maddox too, which likely isn’t a good sign for him.

Maddox was take out on a stretcher during the break. As he’s being put in the ambulance, Vickie looks terrified.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

They treat this as a big deal with full entrances and the big match intros. Axel, the champion, is officially no longer a Paul Heyman guy. Langston easily takes him to the mat but gets elbowed in the face to give Axel a breather. Big E. easily tosses Axel around and sends him to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Langston clotheslines him down like it’s nothing as this is one sided so far.

A standing backdrop gets two on the champion but he hits a quick hot shot to get a breather. Axel pounds on his back a bit and we take a break. Back with Axel getting two off a dropkick and hooking a front facelock. Langston finally gets up and just throws Curtis off of him before scoring with some clotheslines. A belly to belly puts Axel down and there’s the Warrior Splash for two. The straps come down and the Big Ending gives Langston the title at 8:50.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it does beg the question: if they want to make Langston into a big deal, why in the world would you job him clean to Del Rio last week in four minutes? Either way, it was definitely the right idea to switch the belt here as Axel is long past the point of mattering. A gimmick change could help him a lot at the moment because the potential is definitely there.

Orton, in a jacket of all things, is with Shield in the back. He tells them that they’ll have his back because that’s what the Authority wants. Reigns is cool with that, as long as Orton has their back as well. Orton doesn’t say yes.

Time for our first country music bit: Divas musical chairs. The song is by Florida Georgia Line and played over the PA system. The girls don’t circle the chairs and it’s Natalya out first. Alicia goes next and a brawl is about to break out. JBL: “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.” Thankfully it only lasts about two rounds until the fight breaks out. Cole: “Musical chairs has broken down.” JBL: “It always does.” The Total Divas actually clear the ring, likely setting up another Survivor Series match.

Big Show vs. Ryback

They shove each other around to start with Big Show throwing Ryback into the corner for some right hands and a headbutt. A hard chop and a shoulder puts Ryback on the floor for a nine count as things slow down. Back in and Ryback pounds away before taking out the knee. Some forearms to the back and a leg drop get two and we hit the front facelock followed by a chinlock.

The hold stays on for a good while as Ryback calls a lot of spots. Show finally suplexes his way out before scoring with some clotheslines. Ryback comes back with a very nice spinebuster (all things considered) for two but the Meathook is countered into a chokeslam attempt. Ryback kicks out of it and hits the Meathook before actually hitting Shell Shock on Big Show for two. Ryback tries it again but Big Show shoves him away and hits the WMD for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is a good example of WWE not thinking more than a week in advance. Ryback hitting Shell Shock on Big Show was rumored to be a major spot at Wrestlemania, but here it’s used as a near fall in a warmup match on a gimmick Raw show. Why in the world would you use it here instead of using it to make Ryback look like a big deal? Oh wait: it’s time for Big Show’s latest push that no one cares about. How could I forget?

Post match Orton tries to sneak in but gets speared down.

Zack Ryder is with Florida Georgia Line when 3MB comes in dressed as cowboys. They’re the Rhinestone Cowboys this week and nothing funny occurs.

Orton is having his ribs taped up.

The Miz/Kofi Kingston vs. Real Americans

Real Americans vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes for the tag titles on Friday. Miz gets caught in a quick wristlock by Cesaro before hitting the corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle for two. Cesaro catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for no cover before sending Miz to the floor and tagging in Swagger. Jack sends him into the corner for the Vader Bomb followed by the Cesaro double stomp for two.

Off to a quick arm hold, only to have Miz fight up and make the hot tag off to Kofi. House is quickly cleaned with all of Kofi’s jumps and dives, only to be caught in a powerslam for two by Swagger. Kingston spins around Jack’s clothesline into a DDT before going over to Miz for the tag…..but Miz turns on him, allowing Swagger to hook the Patriot Lock for the win at 4:45.

Rating: C-. The match was obvious as soon as they announced the title match on Friday. Miz turning heel is the right move as his face turn just wasn’t working at all. The guy is just a natural heel and wasn’t doing anything as a good guy. If nothing else maybe he’ll stop using the stupid Figure Four which doesn’t work at all for him.

Vickie pretends to have been attacked to get out of her match with AJ.

Stephanie doesn’t buy the injury despite Vickie being loaded onto a stretcher. Could it be because Vickie looked right at the camera before pretending to pass out?

AJ Lee vs. Vickie Guerrero

Vickie is wheeled to the arena, screaming that this can’t happen. I have no idea who the face is supposed to be in this thing but I’m sure I just don’t get what’s going on. Vickie “passes out” again and asks for some water before the bell. She tries to run again and actually gets by Tamina but AJ chases her down. Back in and the Black Widow (the only move of the match) gets the submission at 1:28.

Vickie faints again post match.

There will indeed be a fourteen Diva Survivor Series match on Sunday with the Total Divas against everyone else.

HHH makes a Broadway Brawl between Ziggler and Sandow for tonight. What does that mean? HHH: “I don’t even know.”

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

There are a bunch of musical instruments in the ring, mainly string stuff. Sandow throws him to the floor but misses a shot with an electric guitar. Ziggler dives off the steps to take him down as the announcers reference musical acts from the 70s and earlier. Back in and Damien pounds away before getting caught by a nice dropkick to send him back outside. Ziggler goes up top but dives into a shot from an organ to the ribs as we take a break.

Back with Sandow stomping away on Ziggler in the corner as Cole talks about Lawler meeting Ronnie Milsap. Ziggler comes back but misses a fiddle shot, allowing Sandow to hit him with a guitar for two. Dolph hits a DDT and breaks the fiddle over Sandow’s head before the Fameasser gets two. Sandow goes nuts again and launches Ziggler into the corner before ramming Dolph head first into a chair in the corner for a close two.

Ziggler gets thrown into the drums and hit with a guitar for two. Sandow misses a charge into the post and Ziggler rolls him up for two. A snare drum over Damien’s head and a bass drum does the same, basically tying Sandow up. Ziggler grabs the only remaining guitar, struts over, and blasts Sandow in the head for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. Was this supposed to be funny? That’s a genuine question. The announcers were treating it like a comedy match but apparently these two don’t like each other. I say apparently because I don’t remember them having any altercations in recent history, unless I’m forgetting some throwaway segment on Smackdown somewhere. The match was dumb as are most gimmick matches though. We’re also supposed to ignore Sandow’s shoulders being inside the drum and not on the mat.

We look at the opening of Raw and Big Show spearing Orton down again.

Orton goes into the Authority’s office and asks where Shield was earlier. He wants to know if he has the Authority’s confidence but Stephanie says they have to think about it.

Cena talks to Florida Georgia Line.

Here’s Cena with his arm in a sling again, saying he’s had to watch what Del Rio did to his arm on Smackdown every day since it happened. We get a clip of Cena winning the arm wrestling contest, only to have Del Rio put him through a table and lock on the armbreaker in a chair again. Cena says he came back for the fans but thinks maybe he came back too soon and shouldn’t be World Heavyweight Champion. Then he looks around and feels the atmosphere which makes him know he should be champion.

A champion is made of things like determination and toughness instead of cheap shots like Del Rio. Cena says Del Rio doesn’t know what he’s getting into on Sunday and he’ll walk out with the title. This brings out Del Rio who says we have a real superhero in the house. Cena almost made him cry, which Cena says is good because on Sunday he’ll make Del Rio tap.

Del Rio asks Cena to lift up the title with the arm in a sling which Cena can’t do. Alberto gets in the ring while talking about taking advantages of every opportunity. Cena says that’s what champions do and pounds on Alberto before trying the AA, only to have Del Rio escape to the floor.

Rhinestone Cowboys vs. R-Truth/Xavier Woods

3MB remember and it’s Slater on the floor this time. Woods is the former Consequences Creed in TNA and has been in NXT for a good while now. Truth starts with Jinder and we get some hip gyrations. Off to Woods for a dropkick to Mahal followed by a headscissors. McIntyre gets a blind tag but gets caught by a forearm to the face. Woods tries to fight both of them off and gets kicked in the face by Drew to take over.

Woods escapes a slam attempt and tags in Truth who catches Drew with a jumping kick to the head. The sitout front suplex takes McIntyre down again and the suplex into a Stunner sets up the tag to Woods. The Honor Roll (front flip clothesline) sets up the Best in the Woods (Eat Defeat though it’s called Lost in the Woods in NXT) for the pin on McIntyre at 3:15.

Rating: C. This was fine. I kind of like the idea of having Woods just show up in a match instead of some big buildup. I’m not the biggest fan of Xavier but he looked good in the ring and is a good asset to the company since he’s already got a masters degree and is going for his PH.D.

The winners dance post match.

The Authority says they have confidence in Orton but he has no Shield to help him on Sunday. When he wins, he’ll prove to everyone that he’s the face of the WWE. Orton promises to show them confidence.

Florida Georgia Line performs Round Here, the theme song of tonight’s show.

Shield/Wyatt Family vs. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Usos

There’s a lot of time for this. Jimmy Uso starts against Dean Ambrose with Dean taking him down with a shoulder, only to be clotheslined right back. Off to Jey vs. Reigns with Jey suckering him into the good guy corner where the tag champions work on Roman’s arms. It’s Goldust staying in to backdrop the now legal Rollins before hitting a quick uppercut and atomic drop. A kick to the side of Seth’s head gets two and it’s off to Jey, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Rollins sends him to the floor but Harper tags himself in to get a piece. The two three man teams argue on the floor as we take a break. Back with Goldust working on Seth’s arm before bringing his brother back in for some right hands. Seth sends Cody into the buckle and the heels take over. Reigns comes in to pound Cody down before it’s back to Seth. Shield is intentionally not tagging in the Wyatts.

Ambrose comes in and pounds away in the corner before clotheslining Cody down for two. Rollins comes back in but has to stop Cody from making a hot tag. Shield finally brings in Rollins who gets taken down by Cody, allowing the hot tag to Bryan. It’s kicks a go-go with Bryan taking down everyone in sight. Harper is sent to the corner but Bryan has to go after Rollins, taking him down with a release German suplex instead of going after Luke. Bryan finally goes after the monster but gets caught in a running sitout powerbomb out of the corner.

The tag brings in Bray Wyatt for some hard elbow drops to Bryan. Bray looks over at Shield and asks if he can trust them before tagging in Reigns. Shield takes their turns beating on Bryan with Ambrose coming in for a modified STF. Bryan gets out and clotheslines Ambrose down but all five of Dean’s partners knock Bryan’s partners off the country as we take another break.

Back with Reigns pounding away on Bryan but getting caught in a DDT. The fans beg him to make the tag and get their wish as Punk comes in for the first time to clean whatever is still dirty in the house. He takes out every heel in sight, including Rollins and Ambrose with a DDT and neckbreaker at the same time. Punk hits the Macho Elbow on Ambrose but Bray distracts him from hitting the GTS.

Instead Punk slaps the Anaconda Vice on Dean, allowing the Family to break it up. Everything breaks down with the Usos hitting their stereo dives on the Family and Ambrose escaping the GTS into the bulldog driver for two. We hit the parade of finishers which goes too fast to keep up with. Punk and Bryan hit a Hart Attack on Rollins because they’re old school like that. The GTS to Ambrose is good for the pin at 24:04.

Rating: C+. This was more long than it was good but the ending sequence was awesome, as almost all parades of finishers are. Again though, why does Ambrose have to take the pin? There are five other guys out there but the only champion on the team has to get pinned? Really? Still though, good stuff.

Post match the Real Americans and other heels come in for the beatdown but REY MYSTERIO returns for the save, apparently as the fifth man on the team at Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m thinking about officially naming this kind of show the Raw Special: it would have been a solid two hour show but the third hour dragged it back to earth. There was some interesting stuff on here like Langston winning the title and Miz turning heel like he should have been all along, but then there’s the other half. Some of the stuff on here was horrid, such as the Cena/Del Rio promo, the AJ vs. Vickie “match” and Ziggler vs. Sandow. At least we fleshed out some of the Survivor Series card, but that doesn’t make this any kind of a good go home show.

Results

Randy Orton b. Brad Maddox via referee stoppage

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending

Big Show b. Ryback – WMD

Real Americans b. The Miz/Kofi Kingston – Patriot Lock to Kingston

AJ Lee b. Vickie Guerrero – Black Widow

Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Guitar shot to the head

R-Truth/Xavier Woods b. Rhinestone Cowboys – Best in the Woods to McIntyre

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield/Wyatt Family – GTS to Ambrose

 

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