Monday Night Raw
Date: October 28, 2013
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re finally past the Cell, meaning we’re coming up on Survivor Series. The problem coming out of last night is the last three PPVs have pretty much been made useless, as we’re right back where we were after Summerslam ended: Bryan has been screwed out of the world title by a crooked referee but this time there are less ways for him to get back on top. Other than that, Cena is the new World Heavyweight Champion, giving it its first important reign in months if not years. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night with highlights of the three major matches.

You can vote tonight on what kind of match you want to see for Punk vs. Ryback. It’ll either be a street fight, falls count anywhere or a tables match.

Here’s the new World Heavyweight Champion John Cena to open the show. He talks about how he’s used to the sound of half the place booing and half the place cheering but he missed it. A lot of people said that Cena came back too early and there’s one in particular that he wants to thank: John Bradshaw Layfield. Cena does a nice imitation of JBL, saying that he’s not back for just one night or one match but for good. He’s sounding a bit like he did in the rapper days here. Cena remembers what the World Heavyweight Championship means and knows Del Rio has a rematch. If he wants some come get some.

Cena goes to leave but here’s Damien Sandow to what sounds like a lower key version of Hallelujah. Sandow says the uncrowned champion is here and he knows that Cena can’t possibly be back at 100% so soon after the injury he had. Cena is just scared that Sandow will cash in on him and he could do that anytime…..like RIGHT NOW? Eh he’s just kidding because he’ll do it any night but tonight.

Sandow goes to leave and brushes up against Cena, who shoves him down. Damien goes OFF on Cena with the case, blasting him in the arm and head over and over. The bad arm is wrapped around the post and sent into the barricade and then the steps. Sandow puts the arm on the steps and crushes it with a chair, saying his time is now. He slides into the ring and grabs the briefcase. Here’s a referee and the cashin is on! After a break!

World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Damien Sandow

Back from a break and Cena is on his feet and we get an opening bell! Cena is fighting with one arm and does what he can but Sandow takes him down with a DDT to the arm for two. A whip into the post gets the same and Sandow drives knees into the arm. We hit the armbar but Cena fights up with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sandow goes back to the arm but Cena gets out and scores with a clothesline as we take another break less than three and a half minutes after we came back.

Back with Sandow winning a slugout but getting slammed down. Cena hits a big boot of all things before starting up his finishing sequence. The Shuffle is broken up by a shot to the arm and a flipping neckbreaker gets two for the challenger. The ringside doctor looks concerned for Cena’s arm. Cena hits an AA out of NOWHERE but Damien rolls to the floor. Dr. Samson is checking on Cena but John goes to get Sandow.

He rolls Damien back in and tries a one arm STF but Sandow easily breaks free before it’s on. The Terminus connects for two more and there’s a full nelson. Cena counters into one of his own which he lifts up and lets go, pulling the falling Sandow into a neckbreaker (nice move!) for two. Sandow grabs a Crippler Crossface of all things and Cena is in trouble, but he powers out and tries the STF.

Sandow escapes again and hits You’re Welcome but Cena is up again at two. So much for that finisher. The fans think this is awesome and they’re absolutely right. Sandow loads up a superplex but Cena headbutts him down, only to miss the high cross body. Cena comes up holding his knee, so Damien tries a piledriver, only to be countered into a bad looking AA for the pin at 13:09.

Rating: B. I dug the heck out of this actually with some AWESOME drama and great looking offense. Cena’s AA’s weren’t all that good but that’s called selling. Instead of just doing his moves like he usually does and then holding his arm, the moves were changed because of the injury. Also, this was yet another example of how drama and not knowing who is going to win is how you have an entertaining match.

Shield says tonight is a huge night because Ambrose has to defend against Langston again.

US Title: Big E. Langston vs. Dean Ambrose

Langston was cut open in the match last night so we might have more blood here. He runs into a shot in the corner and Dean goes after the eye, only to have Big E. come back with clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex. Langston loads up the Ultimate splash but Reigns low bridges him for the DQ at 1:20.

Post match Shield beats down Langston until the Usos come in. Teddy Maddox makes it a six man.

Shield vs. Big E. Langston/Usos

Joined in progress with Shield working over Jimmy Uso via a Seth kick to the head and a knee drop from Reigns. Off to the US Champion who pounds away on Jimmy, only to get caught by an enziguri to put him down. Reigns comes in to try the Superman clothesline but gets caught in a DDT to put him down.

There’s the tag off to Jey who comes in off the top and avoids a diving Rollins. Seth takes him into the corner and loads up a superplex, only to be shoved down to the mat with ease as Ambrose and Langston fight on the floor. Jey’s Superfly Splash hits knees but Jimmy saves his brother from a double suplex. A double superkick puts Seth on the floor but Reigns spears both Usos down and pins Jey at 5:00.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it wasn’t horrible. The time hurt them as Shield is better at the long matches instead of short TV style efforts. Still though, not bad here and Langston not taking the pin or being involved in the finish is the right idea as he’ll get a full match with Ambrose eventually.

Here’s Shawn for the big explanation. He owes everyone a reason for what he did and Daniel Bryan in particular, so Bryan needs to come out here. A very serious Bryan comes out and Shawn said he called the match right down the line and only took out Bryan because Daniel took out Shawn’s best friend. Like it or not, HHH is Shawn’s friend and that’s never going to change. HHH was there for Shawn when no one else was, so last night Shawn was there for him.

Shawn doesn’t care if Daniel agrees, but he just wants him to accept the apology. Daniel shakes his head so Shawn praises him for how great he is in the ring and how far Bryan has come since Shawn trained him. Last night was finishing school and Bryan had to learn it. In WWE you don’t trust anyone, even your future wife. Shawn says he’s humbling himself here (he sounds apologetic and not evil at all) by apologizing so the least Bryan can do is accept it.

Bryan shakes his head again and Shawn has had it. He’s spent seven months hearing people call Bryan a B+ player but Shawn has stuck up for him. Now Shawn doesn’t care because he’s an A+ player and he always will be. He’s giving Bryan the chance to shake his hand so do it already. Bryan shakes it so Daniel pulls him into the YES Lock! Shawn taps but Bryan keeps pulling until referees come out.

Post break Daniel Bryan is in the back when the Wyatts of all people lay him out. Bray hits Sister Abigail’s Kiss into a wall, saying the devil made him do it. Wyatt rolls a case against Bryan’s head to knock him out. This has potential.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

Handicap match and the Band brings a met with them for Torito. Fernando gets beaten down to start until it’s off to Diego to clean house. McIntyre hits a running boot to the chest to put him down as Slater goes bull hunting. Torito dives under the ring and sprays Slater with a fire extinguisher. Slater gets gored from the back and the double Angle Slam pins McIntyre at 3:40.

Rating: N/A. About 90 seconds of this match was spent on a hunting sequence. You do the math.

Post match Slater is put in the net and taken down by Torito.

Here’s another video on how to download the WWE App because you’re too stupid to press three buttons.

Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Bryan has been taken to a hospital so Brie is upset. She’s so upset in fact that Nikki makes her start against AJ. Off to Tamina for a hard chinlock to eat up some time. Nikki fights up and cleans part of the house, only to be caught in a Samoan drop from Tamina and the Black Widow for the submission at 3:30.

Rating: D. There isn’t much to say here as these girls just have the same matches over and over again with the ending being the only thing that changes. The Bellas look good in their outfits but that’s about all they have going for them. They’re just not that interesting and it’s starting to catch up to them.

Kane vs. The Miz

This was set up when Kane saved Miz from the Wyatts but chokeslammed him down due to being Kane. A big boot gets an early two for Kane but Miz fights back with some left hands and a clothesline in the corner. He goes up for the ax handle and jumps into the chokeslam to give Kane the pin at 1:20.

Post match Kane grabs a mic and demands that Stephanie of all people get out here right now. She comes to the stage and says that’s close enough. Kane says she’s been on a power trip and manipulated and ruined lies. In this day and age though, it’s what best for business, so the monster is hers to unleash. This would be the 1904th heel turn for Kane if you’re keeping track. Kane walks to the stage, takes his mask off with his back to the camera, hands it to Stephanie, and walks off.

The Prime Time Players offer free shipping on WWE.com with the code PTP.

David Otunga says Big Show’s lawsuit has merit and could cost the McMahons millions if not loss of the company.

Here’s CM Punk, presumably to tell us what to vote for on the WWE App. He has big bags under his eyes but he says he slept better last night than he has in months because he finally got Paul Heyman. Paul Heyman is gone after last night so now Punk’s attention will be on Ryback. Ryback is a tough guy but without Heyman he’s just a knuckle dragging neanderthal. Punk promises to beat Ryback, just like he promised to get rid of Heyman.

CM Punk vs. Ryback

It’s a street fight with 59% of the vote. Ryback drives Punk into the corner as the Goldberg chants are in full force. Punk gets an elbow up to stop a charging Ryback before hitting a high cross body for two. Ryback is knocked to the floor but catches a plancha in midair. Punk’s back is rammed into the post as Ryback pulls out a table.

He’s not fast enough though as Punk grabs a kendo stick to blast Ryback before we head back inside. A neckbreaker gets two for Punk and he sets up the table. The high kick is countered into a buckle bomb by Ryback though and he loads up a superplex. Punk knocks him away and puts Ryback on the table for the Macho Elbow. The Anaconda Vice gets the submission at 4:25.

Rating: D. For a street fight, you expect more than a five minute match. We saw this done far better last night and that’s why I’m rarely a fan of matches like this happening just after the PPV. Nothing to see here but hopefully it ends Ryback vs. Punk once and for all. There’s nothing left here at all.

Post match here are the Wyatts again to lay out Punk. He swings the kendo stick a few times but there are too many monsters. Bray says he’s been waiting for this but Punk headbutts him, only to be taken down by the discus lariat from Bray. Sister Abigail’s Kiss leaves Punk laying.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans

Non-title. The fans chant for Goldust as he starts with Cesaro by cranking on the arm. Swagger comes in and is quickly taken down, only to drag Goldust into the corner. Off to Cody vs. Cesaro with Rhodes hitting a running knee to the head for two. The release front suplex puts Antonio down and a bulldog gets two for Goldust. Swagger comes back in but walks into a springboard dropkick from Cody as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro hitting the gutwrench suplex on Cody for two. Off to Swagger for a front facelock and he drives Rhodes into the corner to keep him in trouble. A Vader Bomb to the back sets up the double stomp from Cesaro for two. Cody fights out of a chinlock and finally makes the tag off to Goldust to clean house. A Disaster Kick puts Cesaro on the floor and a top rope cross body from Goldust gets two but he gets countered into the Patriot Lock. The reversal sends Swagger into the corner but Cesaro makes the save at two. Cody is sent to the floor and another Patriot Lock gets the submission at 12:20.

Rating: D+. The match was your usual formula stuff but of all the teams to pick they go with these guys? This is what bugs me about most title shots: they’re earned by beating the champions instead of building up some wins against other teams and THEN getting a title shot as a result. Why not try that instead?

Here’s Del Rio with something to say. He stands a Mexican flag next to him and pulls a mic from his coat which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Del Rio doesn’t care what Sandow did because Cena is a thief. No matter what happened tonight, Del Rio is getting a rematch and he’s going to hurt Cena. The arm is his target and he’s going to break it to pieces. The title belongs to him but you already know that.

The fans picked to see Goldberg vs. Undertaker on WWE 14, beating out Hogan vs. Cena, Flair vs. Bryan and Michaels vs. Rock.

Summer Rae vs. Natalya

This is Summer’s solo debut. Natalya is easily taken down but comes back with a backslide for two. Summer yells at her a lot and chokes Natalya in the corner with those long legs. Off to a stump puller of all things before Summer hooks something like an Indian Deathlock. This has been one sided so far. Off to a chinlock by Summer before a running knee to the face gets two. She stops to kiss Fandango on the cheek, starting a fight between Horny and Fandango. Khali chops the dancer down, allowing Natalya to hook a quick Sharpshooter for the win at 5:20.

Rating: D. Summer looked good in more ways than one but this was horribly dull. It was basically a squash with a screwy ending which doesn’t give you anything of interest to see. Also I’m pretty over this stupid comedy feud but at least they’re showing that Summer can go in the ring.

The entire roster is on the stage for Orton’s championship celebration. Shield is handling security and here are HHH and Stephanie for the introduction. HHH talks about picking Orton to be the future a decade ago and grooming him for this spot. Orton is finally introduced and Stephanie says he’s champion for everyone. Everyone should respect him but he gets a NO chant instead.

Orton says you’re either a success or you’re not, and this title makes him a success. It also makes him their superior, if that’s clear. Cue Big Show ubt he can’t get past Shield. The Usos and Goldust/Cody come out to fight Shield, leaving Big Show a clear path. Orton, HHH and Stephanie bail, leaving Show alone in the ring. Big Show says he knows about the restraining order but he’s not going to listen to all this. If he’s arrested he’ll just get out on bail so it’s not even worth it.

His lawsuit is going to gain him millions of dollars and he has nothing to lose. He spends so much time yelling at HHH that Orton comes in with a belt shot to knock Big Show down. HHH says do it again but Big Show gets in a KO punch to knock Orton out cold. HHH stares Show down and takes off the jacket but bails to the floor. Show: “YOU USED TO BE THE GAME!” HHH doesn’t do anything and the show is over.

Overall Rating: B. This was the kind of show that WWE needed badly. A LOT of stuff happened here and there are a lot of stories to check out in the near future. That’s what WWE had been missing lately as so much time had been dedicated to the solo story and it was time for something new. Good stuff here and I want to see where a lot of stuff goes. That’s a really good sign.

Results

John Cena b. Damien Sandow – Attitude Adjustment

Big E. Langston b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Big E. Langston/Usos – Spear to Jey Uso

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to McIntyre

Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

Kane b. The Miz – Chokeslam

Real Americans b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes – Patriot Lock to Goldust

Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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With someone you wouldn’t have guessed.The Wyatts laid out Bryan in the back tonight.  I like the potential of this a lot.

And he…..LOST!  Cena survived a shockingly awesome match and won with the AA.  This was really good stuff actually and Sandow’s best match ever by about 8000 miles.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 1998
Location: Kohl Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 10,220
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re another step closer to Survivor Sereis here and hopefully for Vince his month of terror ends. At the moment Austin is still fired so odds are we’re going to get some updates on his career options tonight. Also there’s a chance we’re going to get some of the brackets for the tournament at the PPV. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince and company to start and there’s a band setup in front of the Tron. Austin is here apparently and Vince holds him responsible for everything that happened last week. Vince doesn’t like the people and wants to know where they were when Austin was doing all this stuff last week. My guess would be they were here in Madison while Austin and Vince were in Milwaukee but maybe I’m missing something.

Vince goes over the stuff he was made to do last week, including ruining a perfectly good Armani suit. He’ll never forgive Austin for what happened last week. As for the letter that Austin gave him last week, it was a legal document. Austin better take stock of himself before he goes further. Austin pops up on screen and says Vince should take stock in adult diapers.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Steve Blackman

Apparently Chyna has taken a leave of absence from the company until her legal issues with Henry are over. The match is after a break and as we come back, Vince is telling his guys to look into the document that Austin gave him last week. He wants it broken. Blackman kicks Pac down to start and hits a side slam to put him down even longer. Off to the chinlock followed by a flying clothesline by Blackman. This has been a squash so far. Steve Regal comes out for no apparent reason and beats down X-Pac. The Outlaws come out and it’s a big brawl. The match is thrown out and was too short to rate, but it was nothing of note.

Vince is talking to his lawyers again and says they wrote the document so they can break it.

Cole is outside Austin’s locker room and we’ll hear from Austin after the next match.

Darren Drozdov vs. The Rock

I don’t see this being incredibly competitive. Rock is officially in the tournament. He takes Droz into the corner and pops him in the face to take over. Rock and those sideburns are so over it’s unreal. Droz armdrags him down and puts on an armbar, which has to be the highlight of his wrestling career. Sunset flip gets two for Drozdov until Rock realizes he’s The Rock and he’s facing Darren Drozdov. A low blow puts Droz down and they slug it out a bit. A powerslam gets two on Rock but a middle rope shoulder misses. Rock Bottom, Elbow, done.

Rating: D+. See, this is what you NEVER get anymore. This was a match for Rock to get on TV and get a win over a guy that has no business beating him. This doesn’t hurt Droz because he doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t lose anything by getting beaten up by Rock. Also, Droz got in some offense so it wasn’t even a squash. Can you imagine Cena doing this with say Titus O’Neal? Of course not.

Hawk gets left behind again.

Austin has been advised not to say anything tonight. “We” will have a statement later on though.

Vince’s meeting is over. Vince doesn’t get something apparently.

Here are the Outlaws for the celebrity appearance of the week. The band equipment was for Motley Crue who the Outlaws and Pac will perform with. They perform and that’s about it. The only wrestling related thing here is a bodyguard they have named Test.

Vince yells some more, talking about a contract and opportunities.

Kane vs. Gangrel

Kane is in the tournament also. Christian is at ringside and it doesn’t really mean much at all. Kane runs him over and is apparently popular now. Christian’s interference doesn’t do much good as Kane hits the top rope clothesline and the chokeslam gets the pin. Total squash.

Christian dives off the top at Kane but it only staggers him. He and Gangrel can’t do anything to slow Kane down but Edge makes it 3-1 and they get him down. Kane sits up and the group that would become known as the Brood runs.

Cole tells us that after the break, we’ll hear from the McMahon Family.

Here’s Austin who doesn’t know why Vince is so mad at him. He told the cops that the gun was a toy and he told Vince that there wouldn’t be any pain. Austin told Vince he wouldn’t feel anything and he didn’t, so maybe Vince should believe Austin when he says something. Or maybe he shouldn’t. Austin pulls out a paper which he says is a new contract, which guarantees him at least one world title shot. The only way he’s leaving is if he quits, and that isn’t happening.

Here’s Vince with his cronies who yells at Austin and says that Austin is in a match tonight whether he likes it or not. Austin points out what the fans are chanting at Vince which ticks Vince off even more. Vince closes his eyes and hates the way Austin got his contract, however that was. He talks about driving a wedge between something….and here’s Shane in the ring. Vince has no idea what’s going on but Austin hands Shane a mic and seems calm with it.

Shane says he doesn’t listen to Vince anymore and that he’s a stockholder in this company. He hired Austin back to get Vince’s attention. Shane goes into a huge rant about how nothing he ever did was good enough for Vince. It was always about Vince and how to get his ego stroked. Shane was always called Vince’s Boy instead of Shane and he’s sick of it. Shane is a man now and he’s no longer Vince’s Boy. Vince and Shane are both about to cry so Patterson hugs Vince. This was a big moment as this was more or less Shane’s national debut other than being a commentator on Heat.

Post break Shane is leaving and Austin throws him a beer.

Tiger Ali Singh vs. Godfather

Godfather runs him over to start and Singh runs to the floor. He sends Godfather into the barricade but gets his leg sent into the apron. This is much more a fight than a match. Back in and Singh works on the arm a bit but Godfather clotheslines him down. The move that would become the Ho Train hits Singh and but he comes back with a bulldog for one. Godfather dumps him to the floor and Babu gets shoved down. The referee goes down too and it’s thrown out.

Rating: D. For the life of me I do not get what they saw in Singh. The guy just wasn’t anything interesting at all and he was around for a few years. He’s the Million Dollar Man but the Indian version, which isn’t something I care to see at all. This was much more of a brawl than a match which is probably the best thing they could do here.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is an eight man tag with the Oddities being the ICP teaming with Kurrgan/Golga. Golga starts with I think Funaki, who is blonde here. Teioh comes in and gets crushed along with Funaki in the corner. Taka comes in as well and all three of them combine to get Golga down. Togo joins his partners and all four drop elbows on Golga before it’s off to Kurrgan. Violent J comes in and pounds on Funaki as the embarrassing part of the match begins. Everything breaks down and the Clowns double team Funaki and throw the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. The crowd popped for the Clowns but they always got on my nerves. They’re fine when they’re doing their JCP thing which is basically a big joke on the idea of wrestling, but when they’re taking up time on Raw to have fun imitating wrestlers, it gets annoying. The match was short though so it wasn’t that terrible.

Shamrock talks about his I Quit match tonight against Austin. He says he quits, and that’s the last time you’ll hear him say that tonight.

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Goldust takes him down with a clothesline to start and pounds away in the corner. He hits a slingshot belly to back suplex for two but Mero gets in a low blow while Jackie offers a distraction. Goldust comes back and hits Shattered Dreams for the quick DQ. Not much here.

Post match here’s Sable to talk to Jackie even more. There’s a challenge for Survivor Series and I guess Jackie accepts.

Mankind is confident that he and Snow can win the titles tonight. They argue over whose prop is dumber.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Mankind is in the tournament as well. Snow starts with Gunn and gets press slammed for his troubles. Off to Mankind who waves as he comes in. Road Dogg comes in with a wide variety of punches followed by the shaky knee drop. Snow cheats and I think dances on the apron. After a brief beating on the floor by Snow, Roadie gets sent back into the ring for Mankind’s Shake Rattle and Roll. It’s as ugly as you could imagine it as.

Double arm DDT looks to set up Socko but Billy breaks it up. The challengers fight over Head but no one swings it. Billy and Mankind go to the floor as Snow hits the Snow Plow on Dogg. The challengers argue over whether to use Socko or Head for the pin and it lets Roadie roll Snow up to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match in a long running series of them over the last two weeks. The ending was the usual swerve as one team was dominating and the other wound up winning on a fluke. Then again that could be the case for almost every Outlaws match for a long stretch of time.

Post match Henry and D’Lo run in to beat up the Outlaws.

Snow has Socko and Mankind has Head until they trade back.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Austin

This is an I Quit match, so if Austin loses he’s done. Shamrock is in the Tournament too, giving us four of the sixteen entrants. Austin doesn’t have his wrist tape which is a nice touch as he wouldn’t be ready to go here tonight. Shamrock jumps Austin as he gets off the ropes to take over quickly. Austin fights back and finally gets the vest off. Shamrock gets dumped to the floor and it’s time to fight.

Ken gets rammed into the announce table and choked by a cord as Lawler is freaking out. Shamrock comes back and they go into the crowd. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ramp with Shamrock still in control. Back inside and Austin is in trouble, being sent into the corner. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken. There’s the Thesz Press but Brisco trips up Austin and gets beaten up for his efforts. Cue Mankind with the Claw on Shamrock and Austin adds a big chair shot to the head, giving Austin the win by knockout.

Rating: D+. These matches continue to be really dull. The I Quit aspect here was just a way to have Austin seem like he was in danger but it never got close to that at all. Like I’ve been saying with the majority of the matches lately from this time period: there’s not enough here to get me interested and the in ring stuff isn’t working at all for the most part.

The Stooges all get Stunners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. These shows are suffering from the same problems they’ve been suffering from all year: when Austin and Vince aren’t on the screen, things aren’t all that interesting. Rock is still a work in progress and HHH is out with a knee injury. Other than that, there isn’t much going on here and it makes things less interesting to watch. The matches are just bad on top of that, with Russo being at his peak of insanity and bad endings. This would be the peak that would be made to look like 1986 AWA within a year of course but we’ll get to that later.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 2000
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after No Mercy and the big story is Kurt Angle shocked the world by beating Rock to become the new WWF Champion. Angle has only been around for about a year at this point and is still a goofy character so this was a pretty big surprise. Other than that Austin didn’t quite get his revenge on Rikishi for nearly killing him eleven months prior but you know that’s not over. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Yokozuna. Ignore them incorrectly listing him as a three time world champion.

Here’s a bandaged up Rikishi to open things up. He wants to know where Steve Austin is despite knowing that Austin was arrested for trying to crush Rikishi with a car last night. Rikishi talks about the crime that was committed last night but he’s talking about Rock losing the WWF Title. Rikishi was down there to help Rock and even though they lost the battle last night, they’ll win the war. He asks Rock to come down here to hear what Rikishi has to say so here’s the Brahma Bull.

Rikishi apologizes for last night and that he didn’t mean for Rock to lose the title. Rock says that the two for them have done a lot together over the years, but Rock wants nothing to do with him or his apology. Not that it matters as Rock will be the WWF Champion again on his own, meaning without Rikishi’s help. Rikishi understands that Rock is upset, but he’s starting to hurt the big man’s feelings.

That doesn’t really sway Rock who says Rikishi can wipe himself with his feelings. Rock talks about Rikishi having a stomach ache from eating so many hamburgers and hot dogs and suggests Rikishi leave for good. Rikishi says he’ll be there for Rock whether he likes it or not, so Rock says he has to do what he has to do. A Rock Bottom lays the fat man out.

Trish pitches a Women’s Title match against Lita if it’s under bra and panties rules. Commissioner Mick Foley goes over the rules and accepts the idea.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Lita is defending and remember that this is bra and panties. Lita tackles her down to start and takes it into the corner before this becomes a catfight. This is about two years before Trish was even remotely good in the ring so this isn’t going to be anything more than what you would expect. Trish rips off Lita’s top so Lita does the same to Trish. The champ is about to fall out of her top before suplexing Trish down, hitting the moonsault and completing the stripping to retain.

This brings out the furious Right to Censor to complain about how bad women like Lita and Trish are for America. Steven Richards brings out the newest member of the RTC: Ivory, dressed in something a Puritan would find too conservative. She’s in a white collared blouse and a long black skirt while ranting about the clothing women wear today being too revealing. Trish laughs the ideas off and we’ve got a new monster heel Diva.

Michael Cole is in the back with the new WWF Tag Team Champions, Los Conquistadors. This is a little complicated but I’ll get to the explanation later. Anyway, Edge and Christian come up to them to congratulate them on their win and prove that they’re two different teams. Remember that, as it becomes important later.

Here’s Benoit with something to say. He’s noticed that talent, will and determination are useless. Being the best technical wrestler in the world today doesn’t mean a thing. HHH may have beaten him last night but the only game that won last night was HHH getting help from his wife last night. Starting tonight, things are different because no one and nothing will stop him because his time is now. Prove him wrong.

Chris Benoit vs. Road Dogg

Benoit drives him into the corner to start and stomps Roadie down with ease. A backbreaker gets two but Benoit misses the swan dive, allowing Road Dogg to hit a few left hands. Dean Malenko comes out for a distraction though and the Crossface gets a quick submission. Basically a squash.

Cole tells Rikishi that no one wants him here but he says he’ll be here all night no matter who likes it.

HHH doesn’t like that people thought his era was over. Last night he proved Benoit wrong by showing he’s a better technical wrestler than Benoit is. Coach asks HHH about Stephanie helping Angle win the WWF Title last night but HHH says that’s his own business. However, Angle put Stephanie in harm’s way, so now it’s time for HHH to take it out on Angle.

We get a clip from last night of Austin trying to run over Rikishi and getting arrested last night.

Crash is in charge of the APA’s office while they’re out hurt. Test and Albert come in and kick him out.

Jericho gives a stagehand a Fozzie CD and plugs an upcoming performance on Heat. He turns around and spills his coffee on Kane, saying he hopes he didn’t burn him. You don’t talk about burning Kane and the Canadian is destroyed.

European Champion William Regal is in the ring and calls most of the fans uncivilized. He’s in the capitol of Connecticut which produces more handguns which kill more people than any other stage. Cue Jericho to interrupt, apparently not dead at Kane’s hands. He does have a bad left arm though.

European Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho gets the mic to insult Regal but decides Willy isn’t worth it and charges in to get us going. The bell rings and Jericho fires off chops followed by a spinwheel kick and a clothesline for two. Regal avoids a charge to send Jericho shoulder first into the post and gets two of his own off a spinning powerbomb. A tiger bomb is countered into a suplex by Jericho but Regal goes after the bad arm to take him down. They slug it out a bit but Regal blocks a clothesline by going after the arm again. Regal loads up a neckbreaker but the not very nice Jericho kicks Regal low. There’s the Lionsault but Kane comes in for the DQ.

Kane lays out Jericho with a chokeslam and lights up the corners of the ring.

T&A (Test and Albert) can’t figure out how the initials for Test and Albert Protection Agency should be spelled.

Stephanie and Angle arrive and are greeted by paparazzi.

Here are Stephanie and Kurt for their first public appearance with the title. Stephanie gives him a long winded (I’m as shocked as you are) intro before confetti and balloons rain from the ceiling. The balloons are popped as Angle talks about how America is falling apart. For most people it’s overcoming poverty but for most people here it’s about overcoming being born in Hartford, like Stephanie has done. Angle brags about winning the gold medal in Atlanta but that wasn’t enough for him. Most people would just give up, but he’s not most people.

Four years later (it was three) he came to the WWF and now he’s proven that he’s the best in this company as well. Two months after he got here, he won the European Title and tourism grew by 38% in Europe. We get an over the top highlight package with Angle narrating. He won the Intercontinental Title two months later, becoming the first Eurocontinental Champion in history. “Well except for D’Lo Brown who doesn’t count.” Then he won King of the Ring, sending sales of crowns and scepters up an amazing 40%.

Last night was the crowning achievement though by winning the WWF Title. Angle’s rookie year really is incredible and I can’t think of a better one in wrestling history. Angle has a poem for us called What Makes A Guy Super Great. He gets about two lines down until Foley interrupts. JR: “THANK GOD!” Mick asks for an ovation for Angle on his title win, but says there’s something he didn’t get last night: a celebratory hug.

Stephanie was unable to give him one due to being unconscious from a Rock Bottom. Mick is one heck of a hugger, so he’d be willing to offer his services. Foley gets all teary eyed and announces Angle’s first title defense……….right here in Hartford, Connecticut….against HHH and the Rock in a triple threat. Awesome segment here with Angle at his very best. Goofy Angle is one of my favorite characters ever and this was some of his best work.

Chyna goes looking for Eddie but finds the two women she caught him in the shower with last week. She shuts the door and a lot of violence can be heard. Chyna leaves and the bodies are shown laid out everywhere. One of those girls is Victoria/Tara.

Too Cool vs. Tazz/Raven

Tazz and Raven formed a short lived ECW tag team around this point because there was nothing else for them to do. Scotty kicks Raven in the face to start and Grandmaster adds a middle rope dropkick to take Bird Boy down again. Tazz walks into a powerslam and Raven is kicked out to the floor. The distraction lets Tazz suplex Grandmaster down and the heels take over.

Raven bulldogs him down for two and it’s already back to Tazz as the announcers ignore the match to talk about a cookbook. Raven jumps into a boot to the face and it’s off to Scotty to speed things up. A superkick gets two on Tazz and everything breaks down. Raven accidentally hits Tazz and Grandmaster hits Raven with the guillotine legdrop. Tazz makes the save and Raven returns the favor by breaking up Worm with a DDT to Scotty for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a match here really and as basic as you could ever get. Just throwing people together into a team because they used to work for another company doesn’t really work that well. They wouldn’t o anywhere as a team as there’s just nothing interesting about them together.

Christian isn’t sure which glasses to wear in the match tonight. Pete Gas from the Mean Street Posse of all people comes in and asks to see Edge.

After a break Edge comes back into his dressing room and finds the place wrecked and Christian put through a table. Apparently the Dudleys attacked him and injured his shoulder. Edge says it’s just Los Conquistadors so he’ll win the titles himself.

Billy Gunn vs. Val Venis

Chyna is with Billy here so Eddie comes out before the match. Billy stops her from killing him, allowing Val to jump the Gunn (I’m here all week) and get things going early. A knee drop gets two for Venis and he peppers Billy with forearms. Billy grabs a quickly broken sleeper but gets countered into a blue thunder bomb for two. They clothesline each other down before Billy hits a Stinger Splash and a Jackhammer, only to have Steven Richards break up a Fameasser. Richards is pulled in for a bit but the Fameasser hits for the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Why Billy Gunn kept getting pushed is beyond me. He was athletic but there are some people that just don’t work as a singles guy. Billy just didn’t have it, but I’d be curious to know how much of that is because of his nickname. You can only get so far with his name and gimmick and he crashed into that ceiling far before this.

Stephanie isn’t sure whose corner she should be in tonight. She asks HHH what he wants but he says he just wants her safe.

Video on Jerry Lawler at Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleader tryouts. I think you can figure this one out.

Tag Titles: Edge vs. Los Conquistadors

Edge looks confused as the champions come to the ring. We’ll say Uno starts but is easily punched down. Uno grabs a quick small package for two and Edge is furious. Los Conquistadors both come in and hit Poetry in Motion as the fans suddenly get it. A Twist of Fate and the Swaton connect for the pin to retain the titles.

Post match the champions of course unmask as the Hardys. Cue Mick Foley to wonder how the Hardys can be the Conquistdors when they wrestled the Conquistadors last night. Foley has some footage from earlier which shows Edge and Christian admitting they were in the Conquistadors costumes last night. The problem with that is Edge and Christian weren’t allowed to challenge for the tag titles, but since they fooled him, the tag title change from last night stands. Unfortunately for Edge and Christian, tonight’s title change (there was a change?) stands as well, meaning the Hardys are YOUR Tag Team Champions.

Rikishi tells Cole to tell Rock that he’s helping him get the title back.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Stephanie is in the back with Kurt and tells him to wait before going to the ring since he’s the champ. He finally gets in and the challengers both deck him in the face for making them wait. Kurt clotheslines HHH down but celebrates too long, allowing Rock to drop him with a clothesline of his own. HHH is knocked to the floor and Kurt pounds away on Rock in the corner while he has a chance. Rock comes back with a quick Samoan drop but HHH dives in for the save.

Now it’s Rock being sent to the floor to give us another mini-match. HHH stomps the champion down in the corner and gets two of his own off a neckbreaker. Angle comes back with a gorgeous German suplex but Rock pulls him out to the floor. Everyone goes outside and Rock and HHH get into a contest to see who can slam Kurt head first into the announce table the hardest. Stephanie tries to break it up so Rock stares her down, causing HHH to get in Rock’s face. Angle has the ring bell but Rock ducks and HHH gets blasted in the side of the head instead.

That leaves Rock vs. Kurt in the ring for a bit with Rock hitting a DDT but the referee is checking on the Game. Kurt suplexes Rock down for the same result as a stretcher is brought out for HHH. Angle hits the Olympic Slam out of nowhere and Hebner FINALLY slides back in to count two. HHH gets off the stretcher and stumbles back to the ring for a quick Pedigree on Kurt. Rock saves and clotheslines HHH down before hitting a Rock Bottom on the champion. This time it’s HHH with the save but Angle breaks up a Pedigree with a belt shot to the face. Rikishi comes out to beat up Angle and that’s a DQ somehow.

Rating: C+. This picked up at the halfway point but why did we have a DQ when Rikishi came in but not for a bell or title shot to HHH’s head? Either way, good stuff here as Angle fits this role perfectly: the guy who isn’t all there at times but can be a killer in the ring. Good stuff here.

Post match here’s Austin to go after Rikishi. He clotheslines Angle on the way down the ramp before pounding away on Rikishi, only to have Kurt come back in to go after Austin for the clothesline. I like that as it’s better than just having Angle come in for no apparent reason. Rikishi escapes and a Stunner to Angle ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The key difference between today’s shows and this episode is how many different ideas there were back in 2000. You don’t see the same finishes or repetitive matches or the same stories being used over and over again until we get to a PPV to shake things up. There’s an idea to everything going on and instead of using a batch of jobbers over and over again, you get some fresh matches. It makes the show WAY easier to sit through and far more enjoyable as a result.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2013
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the Cell pay per view this Sunday and almost everything is set. Actually everything has pretty much been set since Battlefield, hence why this show isn’t likely to be very interesting. Tonight we have Big Show losing his name to HHH (whatever that might mean) and the contract signing for Orton vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tag titles changing hands last week.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to get us going. Stephanie runs down the card for Sunday’s show and HHH talks about Shawn guaranteeing a new champion. HHH mentions the word respect and Big Show hacks into the satellite feed and rants about respect. For some reason his eyes are looking just to the left of the camera. Stephanie isn’t sure how he’s on the screen but HHH and Big Show yell at each other about money and lawsuits. Big Show says HHH must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but any side of Stephanie is a bad side to wake up on. Stephanie cuts the feed and HHH says on with the show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield

Dean cranks on the arm to start but Daniel armdrags out of it and puts on an armbar of his own. A running clothesline gets two for Bryan and it’s back to the arm again for some psychology. Bryan fires off a kick to the arm and cranks on it even more. Dean blocks the running dropkick in the corner and drops an elbow to take over. A suplex gets two for Dean but Bryan comes right back with a knee to the chest and a suplex of his own. Ambrose rolls to the floor to avoid the headbutt and we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of an Ambrose chinlock, only to be caught by a knee to the ribs to put him down. A running dropkick against the ropes drops Bryan again and it’s off to a quick armbar. Dean drops him with a back elbow and it’s off to a triangle choke. Bryan rolls out and counters into the full surfboard hold before pulling Dean’s neck back for an added choke. Dean goes to the eyes to send Bryan to the apron, only to have Daniel pound away with right hands.

Bryan goes up top but gets pulled down with a superplex for two. We hit the chinlock again but Bryan counters into a backslide for two of his own. A double cross body puts both guys down but it’s Bryan up first with right hands. He backflips over Dean in the corner and takes him down with the running clothesline. The running dropkick in the corner connects and Bryan snaps off a top rope hurricanrana for two. A tornado DDT of all things is countered by Dean into a spinebuster for two.

Daniel backdrops him to the floor and there’s the FLYING GOAT for good measure. Back in and a missile dropkick takes Dean down yet again. Bryan nips up and fires off the YES kicks to the vested chest. The big kick to the head is countered into a rollup but Bryan counters into the YES Lock for the submission at 16:20.

Rating: B. Good match here and a good way to put Bryan over before he goes into the title match on Sunday. However, the usual complaint about a single champion losing holds true here. Rollins or Reigns could have done the job here and the result would have been exactly the same. Really good stuff though and a good way to start Raw.

Here’s Punk for the hard sell for the match on Sunday. He talks about the Cell defining legacies and how his legacy will be defined by what he does to Heyman inside the Cell. Heyman thinks Ryback can help him, but there is nothing Punk won’t do to win. The point isn’t to make Paul submit or pin him, but rather to put Ryback to sleep and then torture Heyman with every single inch of the Cell that he can. The winner of the match will be the best in the world.

HHH and Stephanie give Vickie some directions before going into their office to find Shawn Michaeles. Shawn and HHH hug like old friends and Shawn cracks some jokes about HHH being a powerful businessman. HHH says Bryan can be the champion but not the face of the company. Shawn says people said that about both he and HHH back in the day but Stephanie cuts them off and rants about Big Show. Shawn points out that Stephanie used to think it was funny when DX hacked the feed but Stephanie doesn’t think it’s funny now. Luckily Shawn didn’t have to grow up so he’s going to go have some fun.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino, Khali and Horny are all dressed as Elvis. We start off with some Marella Martial Arts as the announcers make music jokes, including a Gentrys reference by JBL (Jimmy Hart’s band). Slater takes him down and puts on a quick body vice before sending Santino into the corner for some shoulders. Heath misses a charge into the post and Santino comes back with the usual. The Cobra has an Elvis wig on too but Slater kicks him in the ribs. Slater goes to the middle rope but Santino nips up and Slater jumps into the Cobra for the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D+. Do I really need to explain this one?

Post match Santino says there’s just one King in Memphis and has Jerry get up on the announce table for some Elvis dancing.

The fans want to see Punk vs. Undertaker from Wrestlemania simulated in WWE 14 instead of Shawn vs. Razor, Rock vs. Austin (WM 15) or Savage vs. DiBiase.

We recap the opening segment.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler throws Orton to the floor to start but Dolph makes the mistake of following, allowing Orton to send him into the barricade and clothesline him down. Back inside we go but Orton takes it right back to the floor. Ziggler escapes the Elevated DDT and drives Orton into the barricade to stomp him down. Orton kicks Dolph away and heads back inside to keep up the fast opening pace.

Ziggler pounds on Orton in the corner and a clothesline is good for two. Orton takes Ziggler down again and grabs an armbar which transitions into a chinlock to give us a breather. Back up and Ziggler scores with a neckbreaker and the Fameasser gets two. Ziggler’s Stinger Splash is caught in a t-bone suplex and the Elevated DDT lays him out again. Orton takes forever to load up the RKO and Ziggler comes back with a dropkick for two, only to charge into the RKO for the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C+. I was liking this match for the most part with the pace being very fast throughout the match. Ziggler didn’t have much of a chance but at least he was showing some fire out there instead of just going through the motions. The false ending with the dropkick before the RKO was a nice touch as well.

Video on Cena’s rehab.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

Brie takes Tamina down to start but the Twin is knocked to the floor with ease. Back in and a snap suplex gets two on Brie before we hit the cravate. Off to Nikki who is easily slammed down before it’s off to AJ, who gets the biggest reaction of the match. Nikki fights out of a chinlock and makes the hot tag off to Brie, sending the fans back into their coma. Brie speeds things up and dropkicks Brie down, only to get caught in a half crab. Brie hits a bad looking knee to the ribs before accidentally kneeing Tamina in the head. Not that it matters though as the Bella Buster pins AJ at 5:27.

Rating: D. The Bellas look good in their outfits but man alive this face turn isn’t working. The problem is the double turn by the Bellas and AJ depends on if you like Total Divas. If you like the show, you buy the double turn. If you don’t like Total Divas, you side with AJ, even though there aren’t any shades of gray in the story. AJ is meant to be the heel and Brie as the girl who is fighting for what she wants, even though no one seems to care.

We look at Big E. Langston’s face turn on Sunday before Paul Heyman and Guys run into Renee Young in the back. Heyman goes into a full blown over the top sales pitch about why you would want to see an execution live on Sunday. He doesn’t stop for air for about 45 seconds, ranting and raving about Punk fantasizing about killing him and then going into a story about being a volcano erupting and villagers running while worshipping CM Punk.

Heyman then stops and says he’s totally in control of his monster Ryback, meaning Punk can’t get his hands on Heyman. He won’t be locked in a Cell with Punk, but rather Punk is locked in a Cell with him. Langston comes up and asks who is a marginal talent now. The Heyman guys step up to him and Langston vs. Axel is made for later tonight. Find this Heyman promo if you can as it’s very entertaining stuff.

We get a video from 2007/2011 of Shawn talking about training Daniel Bryan. We even get really rare clips of Daniel Bryan in the Texas Wrestling Alliance, which was Shawn’s indy company.

Wyatt Family vs. The Miz/Kofi Kingston

Rowan runs over Miz to start and takes him down with a quick backbreaker. Harper comes in and puts on a front facelock while rolling around on the mat. Off to a traditional headlock for a bit before Miz pops up, only to charge into a Michinoku Driver for two. Harper is kicked away and it’s finally off to Kofi to speed things up. Kofi jumps up into the corner for a nice hurricanrana followed by jumping back to the top for a cross body for two. Rowan misses a big boot and is knocked to the floor before Trouble in Paradise takes him out again. Not that it matters as Harper takes Kofi’s head off with the clothesline for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C. This was another fast paced match and that’s what Raw needs to do this week. They had a very dull offering last week so fast paced stuff with characters like the Wyatts is a good idea. Miz vs. Bray will be a good squash for Wyatt and it’s kind of nice to see a build like this for a change.

Post match the Wyatts take out Miz and tie him in the ropes so Bray can talk about the afterlife being real.

Big E. Langston vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

The Heyman Guys jump Langston before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Langston being caught in the numbers game. Langston manages to fight back and clothesline Axel down, only to have Heyman blast him with a kendo stick as a distraction. Ryback runs Langston over with a shot to the back but here’s Punk with the stick for the save. Vickie pops up to make it a tag match.

Big E. Langston/CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel/Ryback

Joined in progress with Punk in control of Axel before bringing in Langston for a double hiptoss. Quickly back to Punk who is taken down by Ryback as JBL talks about what a great agent Heyman is. Off to Axel for a chinlock but Punk fights up and hits a spinning cross body for two. Ryback comes in again and powers Punk down, only to be caught by the high kick to the head. The hot tag brings in Langston to clean house and hit the Warrior Splash. There goes the strap and Punk hits the springboard clothesline to Ryback. The Big Ending finishes Axel at 6:35 shown.

Rating: D+. The expiration date on this feud was a few weeks ago, but it looks like it’s finally done this Sunday. There was just nothing to see here from Punk vs. the Heyman Guys, but Langston gave things a breath of fresh air. He’s SO much better as a face and giving him a feud with Axel at least gives him something to do. Match was there at best.

Punk chases Heyman into the crowd post match.

R-Truth shills WWE merchandise. He’s energetic if nothing else. You can get 20% off tonight only if you use the promo code “Truth”.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans

The Real Americans charge the ring and throw in black flags before posing with them up on the ropes. Colter is on commentary again here. Tensai chops Swagger into the corner but Cesaro comes in off a blind tag to take over. A jumping seated senton gets two and it’s back to Swagger as Colter rants about Los Matadores. The Vader Bomb/double stomp combo gets two on Tensai and it’s off to a Cesaro chinlock. Tensai fights up and tags in to Brodus, only to have him get caught by an uppercut, setting up the Cesaro Swing to Clay. Swagger comes in for the Patriot Lock and the submission on Brodus at 3:34.

Rating: D. The match was nothing of note and was just there for a way to do post match stuff with Colter. The shine that the Swing had given Cesaro is already gone and WWE has no problem with just letting it go by because we need to use the Americans to put over Los Matadores. Nothing match.

Post match Colter pulls out a bull whip to use on Torito. When he wrestled as Dutch Mantell, Colter’s trademark was a bull whip.

We get a retrospective on Cena’s career. Think they’re pushing his return hard enough?

Here are Cody and Goldust for commentary, complete with a remixed version of their combined themes.

Usos vs. Shield

Despite the Usos winning the #1 contendership fairly, this is for the title shot on Sunday. Jey starts with Rollins and gets a quick pair of near falls off some rollups. They slug it out with Jey sending Rollins to the floor and nailing a great looking dive. Back in and it’s off to Reigns vs. Jimmy with the twin cranking on Roman’s arm. The announcers talk about JBL being the new GM of NXT as Jimmy has to fight out of the Shield corner. Rollins speeds things up and drops Jimmy throat first on the top rope for two before dropkicking him out to the floor.

Cody: “If you built a liar from the ground up he would loo just like John Bradshaw Layfield.” Goldust: “OH SNAP!” Back in and Reigns puts on a front facelock but Jimmy fights out and gets to the apron. Roman can’t suplex him into the ring but some Ambrose interference brings Jimmy to the floor as we take a break. Back with Reigns getting two off a suplex and getting frustrated at Jimmy kicking out again. We hit another chinlock before Jimmy fights up and DDTs Roman down. Rollins comes in but gets backdropped to the floor, only to have Roman make a blind tag as Seth goes over.

Jimmy catches Reigns with an enziguri and there’s the hot tag. Things speed up with Jey cleaning house but Reigns takes his head off with a clothesline out of the corner for two. Reigns breaks up a pin off the toss in the air Samoan Drop and a powerslam puts Jimmy down. Jey comes back with the superkick to Reigns but the Superfly Splash hits knees. Ambrose gets in a fight with the tag champions, drawing in Rollins and the Usos for the no contest at 14:15.

Rating: C+. Match was your usual good stuff with Shield but the ending was pretty clearly going to a three way at the PPV. Shield winning unfairly screws over the Usos and there’s no way they were doing face vs. face for the titles. Hopefully the Usos FINALLY get their title reign out of this though.

Post match the four good guys clear the ring of the Shield.

HHH and Stephanie are in the ring for the contract signing and are soon joined by Orton, Bryan and Shawn. There isn’t much special to see here: Orton talks about how he’ll be the face of the WWE after Sunday, Bryan says he’ll prove how great he really is and both guys sign. HHH says that Bryan is just like Edge, Jericho or RVD: popular and talented but not the one. “If any of those guys had been the face of the company back in the day, we’d all be working for Ted Turner right now.” Oh good grief.

Bryan tells HHH to put on some ring gear and he’ll show him how great he can be. HHH says when he gets back in the ring, he’ll be doing it against a star like Undertaker or Rock or Lesnar. Bryan isn’t even worth his time because Bryan is a B+ player. Shawn shouldn’t have wasted his time training Bryan and that’s enough to get Shawn into this chat. He vouches for Bryan and says he’s very good before asking HHH what happened to him.

What happened to the guy that raged against the machine with him? What happened to HHH over the years? Randy is worried, but HHH says Shawn will do what’s right at the end of the day. Shawn says he’ll do what’s right for the business he loves and asks why HHH hates Bryan. Is it because of the beard, or because HHH has been proven wrong?

Orton says Bryan can’t beat him and they get in each others’ faces, but a semi truck is shown on the screen driving into the arena. Big Show is driving and running over various objects in his path. He gets in the arena and does the Bryan finger point while telling Orton to turn around. Bryan lays out Orton with the running knee to end the show. That’s quite the bizarre ending.

Overall Rating: C+. Tonight’s show was a nice change of pace from last wee. They kept things moving tonight and that’s exactly what Raw lacked last week. Nothing really came off as great but they did a decent enough job of setting up what they’ve got for us on Sunday. It still doesn’t feel like an important PPV, but at least they built it up somewhat tonight. So much better than last week.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – YES Lock

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Bella Twins b. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee – Bella Buster to Lee

Wyatt Family b. Kofi Kingston/The Miz – Clothesline to Kingston

CM Punk/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Big Ending to Axel

Real Americans b. Tons of Funk – Patriot Lock to Clay

Usos vs. Shield went to a no contest when Cody Rhodes and Goldust interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 14, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

The main story coming out of last week is Big Show knocking out HHH to end the show but not seeming all that upset at the prospect of losing his job or his house. Other than that we’re still without a WWE Champion because having no one hold it for two and a half months is fine. Shawn Michaels is scheduled for the show tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with Shawn Michaels with something to say. He thanks for everyone that voted for him last week to be the guest referee. It’s nice that not everyone forgot about old H-B-Shizzle (again his words, not mine). He’s made it well known that he has a history with both guys in the title match since he trained Daniel Bryan and has always liked him but never liked Randy Orton.

Shawn talks about being in the first HIAC match in this very building and that it made him glad he’s retired. What happened at Battleground and Night of Champions was a crock and it will not happen again. Shawn guarantees us a new WWE Champion which draws out hometown boy Orton.

Randy promises to make this sweet because he has a match up next. Orton was born and raised right here in St. Louis so he knows the people here better than Shawn. They’re not that bright but Orton can see right through Shawn. As great as Shawn was, Orton is just that much better and it eats Shawn up inside. Shawn: “Oh snap were you talking? I wasn’t even listening.”

Orton needs to leave Shawn alone and worry about Bryan, but Orton promises to hurt Daniel inside the Cell. Randy threatens Shawn if he tries to screw Orton over but Shawn threatens him with some Sweet Chin Music. Both guys try their finishers and Orton bails to the floor, only to be jumped by Miz, his opponent tonight. The match is after the break.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz

Back from a break with Miz firing off knees to the ribs but getting sent into the corner for a clothesline. Miz comes back with a clothesline of his own to send Randy to the floor but his baseball slide misses, allowing Orton to hit yet another clothesline. Miz is sent into the steps and back inside we get the Orton stomp for two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds before Miz is sent over the top and out to the floor.

Randy can’t get the Elevated DDT though as Miz shoves him into the post before heading back inside. Some shots to the head have Randy in trouble and there’s the corner clothesline into the top rope ax handle. Orton rolls out of the Finale but tries the Figure Four….and here are the Wyatts. The distraction lets Orton snap off an RKO for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Lesson #1 in how to win a match: NEVER look to the stage. If there has been a more over used finish in the span of a few months it eludes me completely. That finish has to be done at least once a year. Other than that and clothesline abundance aside, this wasn’t too horrible with Miz having a bit of a fire to him.

Bray says that Miz is everything that he hates about this world. All of the glitz and glamor and red carpet and all that good stuff. Bray talks about us being stuck in the spider web of this moment and promises to take Miz down.

Fandango vs. Santino Marella

Naturally we start with a quick dance off before Fandango takes him down into a chinlock. A suplex sets up more dancing but Santino avoids something off the top. A jawbreaker of some sort puts Fandango down and Santino comes back with the usual. He loads up the Cobra but has to stop before almost hitting Summer Rae, allowing Fandango to roll him up for the pin at 2:30.

Paul Heyman asks Brad Maddox for more in the Ryback vs. Punk match. He says that Punk has made Maddox look ridiculous in this build up and thinks Punk should be punished. Heyman suggests Punk vs. Ryback/Axel in a handicap match but Maddox doesn’t think that’s very fair. Brad goes with a Beat the Clock challenge instead. Tonight it’s Ryback vs. Truth and Punk vs. Axel with the winner (either Heyman or Punk) getting to pick the stipulation for the PPV.

NXT wrestler Xavier Woods has started a petition to bring back Big Show. JBL spends the next fifteen seconds talking over Cole and ranting about how stupid a name Xavier Woods is and how Big Show should be fired.

Video on John Cena making a comeback.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

It’s Slater/McIntyre here, in case you didn’t get the idea the first three times. Diego runs over McIntyre to start and hits a nice flying headscissors to send him out to the floor. Slater of course chases after the bull before taking over on Fernando back inside. The Band pounds away for a bit before allowing the hot tag off to Diego. The double Angle Slam is enough to take out Slater at 4:03.

Rating: D. I am so over these guys already and they’ve only been here two weeks. Have they even fought anyone other than 3MB in that span? Oh wait they beat Los Locales, meaning only four of their five matches have been with 3MB. I can’t picture these guys lasting much longer.

Post match Mahal takes the double finisher and Torito adds a springboard seated senton for good measure.

We recap Big Show’s antics last week.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for their big interview of the week. Stephanie talks about making a mistake but gets cut off by a YOU GOT KNOCKED OUT chant. She talks about bailing Big Show out one time too many and then he got fired. This was the last time too because Show is out of a job and they’re selling his house and pushing criminal charges.

As for HHH, he’s nowhere near as bad as the reports say. HHH is the Game ad you don’t get those names without earning them. HHH says he’s been the boss for two years now and did all that for the fans. He’s been trying to ensure that the WWE is here for years to come and knows what kind of punishment that brings. He talks about being pushed beyond his breaking point last week when he got knocked out and a Goat Face stood over him while the people chanted YES. That brings us to now and HHH is willing to be the bad guy. He’ll be that guy, but he’s going to do things that we’ve never seen before.

The fans chant YES even more and here’s Daniel Bryan to answer the call. Before he can say anything though, Alberto Del Rio jumps him from behind and knocks Bryan down the ramp. The low superkick keeps Bryan down and the McMahons make the obvious match of Del Rio vs. Bryan for later tonight.

Ryback vs. R-Truth

Beat the Clock match here so Truth immed heads to the floor. The chase is quickly on until Truth gets in some shots back inside. Truth gets a few near falls but Ryback finally slows him down and gets two off a clothesline. Ryback gets two off a backbreaker but continues o take his sweet time. We’re at four and a half minutes now and neither guy seems interested in finishing this up in a hurry. Truth pounds him down again and gets two off a missile dropkick. Not that it matters though as Ryback fights up and Shell Shocks Punk for the pin at 5:44.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match which is fine, but it doesn’t make the match anything interesting. Odds are Punk wins the other match and sets the time so that he can get Heyman alone inside the Cell to finally finish this off, but that might be too simple for the writers on this show.

Stephanie runs into the Bellas in the back and gives Brie a wedding present: a match with someone to be named with AJ in the opponent’s corner.

Video on WWE 2K14.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans

Cesaro starts with Brodus and a slam puts Antonio down. Off to Tensai to run over Cesaro even more and drop an elbow on him for no cover. A nice monkey flip out of the corner puts Cesaro down but Swagger comes in with a chop block. We hit the chinlock for a bit on Tensai as the match slows way down all of a sudden. Tensai is taken to the corner for the Vader Bomb/double stomp combo for two before we’re right back into the chinlock.

The Americans takes turns on Tensai’s arm until Cesaro hits a great looking gutwrench suplex for two. That man is just scary strong. Tensai finally gets free for the tag off to Brodus but the fans don’t seem all that impressed. Brodus busts out a t-bone suplex of all things for two on Cesaro but Swagger makes the save. Cesaro is back in though and it’s the Neutalizer for the pin on Brodus at 5:30.

Rating: D+. The night of bad matches continue but the Cesaro stuff looked good for the most part. I have no idea why Swagger has to drag this team down so much and he’s trippling Cesaro by mere association at this point. Not much to this one but I’ve seen far worse before.

Post match Cesaro swings Tensai.

Breast cancer still sucks.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

Nikki isn’t allowed at ringside but Tamina as AJ with her. Brie is all aggressive tonight and knocks AJ around before taking it out to the floor. Tamina gets in a shot to the ribs and takes it back inside for some shots to the ribs, only to be countered into something like AJ Styles’ Calf Killer.. Ropes are quickly grabbed and Tamina kicks her in the ribs to put Brie down again. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Brie is casually slammed down to the at. Back up and Brie gets up a boot in the corner and an off missile dropkick puts Tamina down. Brie picks up a bit but walks into a big boot out of nowhere for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: C-. For a Divas match this actually wasn’t half bad. Brie is still not a likeable person but she’s getting better in the ring and the little pink outfits don’t hurt anything either. I’m not sure I get the point in having her lose clean like this but maybe it means Brie leaves the title scene.

The beating continues post match with Tamina hitting a Superfly Splash and AJ hooking the Widow’s Peak.

Bryan goes to yell at Stephanie but she tell him to go look after his fiance.

Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

Punk has to win in under 5:44. Punk quickly starts going for falls by elbowing Axel in the face and going for the cover. Axel comes back with shots to the head but gets caught by a cross body for two. We have under 3:30 to go and Axel puts on a front facelock. Punk comes back with his usual including the knee in the corner but the GTS is countered into a bad looking McGillicutter. Axel starts speeding things up as well, not seeming to realize that he doesn’t need to beat the clock. Punk gets a quick rollup for two with thirty seconds left before the high kick and the GTS connect for the pin at 5:33, meaning Punk gets to pick.

Rating: C+. This worked due to how fast it was but did we really need to have Punk beat the Intercontinental Champion clean in less than six minutes? The story had to go this way but there were other ways they could go to this point. Either way, it sets up the blowoff for the Punk vs. Heyman feud which probably needs to be wrapped up.

Post match Punk makes it Ryback/Heyman vs. Punk inside the Cell.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Daniel is aggressive to start but gets caught in a quick suplex and chinlock less than two minutes into the match. Bryan suplexes out of it and fires off the kicks, only to get caught in a Backstabber for two. Del Rio avoids a running dropkick in the corner and stomps away as we take a break. Back with Bryan missing the headbutt but almost getting the YES Lock, only to have Del Rio make the ropes. Del Rio comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two as he’s bleeding from the lip a bit.

Bryan explodes out of the corner with a clothesline but Del Rio hits a Codebreaker on the arm for two. A middle rope dropkick gets two for Del Rio and he avoids a charge, sending Bryan shoulder first into the post. The corner enziguri misses though and both guys are down. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and the running dropkick in the corner followed by the top rope hurricanrana for two.

Del Rio is kicked to the floor and hit by the FLYING GOAT. Back inside and the missile dropkick has Del Rio in trouble but here’s Orton on the big screen. He apologizes for what happened to Brie earlier but says he’ll go check on her. Orton goes into the trainer’s room and Brie can be heard screaming after the door shuts. Bryan gets rolled up for two but kicks Del Rio in the head and runs to the back for the countout at 16:29.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but this show is so far beyond saving at this point that it doesn’t matter. At least they didn’t do the same distraction leads to a pin sequence and they didn’t job the champion again. This Orton vs. Bryan feud is just not working though and I think everyone knows it.

Bryan runs into the trainer’s room and gets jumped as you would expect.

HHH and Stephanie make the main event No DQ.

Another video on Cena.

Tag Titles: Shield vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

No DQ here. The challengers take over to start and work over Rollins with Cody getting two off a dropkick. Reigns interferes with an elbow to Cody’s jaw and the champions take over. Roman stomps Cody down to the floor for two before bringing Rollins back in for some right hands to the head. We hit the armbar for a few moments before Cody comes back with an attempted Alabama Slam out of the corner. Rollins slides down the back but Cody dives into a tag off to Goldust.

Goldie can’t hit Shattered Dreams but settles for a bulldog out of the corner for two on Rollins. Seth ducks something like a cross body to send Goldust to the floor and us to a break. Back with Rollins cranking on the arm even more as Cody plays cheerleader on the apron. A backslide gets two for Goldust but Seth clotheslines him back down. Back to Reigns for a chinlock but Goldust fights up and comes out of the corner with a back elbow. Rollins breaks up the hot tag but dives into a powerslam to put both guys down.

Ambrose’s interference doesn’t stop Cody and the younger brother cleans house. Reigns is sent into the post but Cody only gets two. The moonsault press gets the same and a Disaster Kick knocks Dean out to the floor. A springboard missile dropkick puts Rollins down again but Reigns makes the save. Ambrose comes in to break up Cross Rhodes and the numbers catch up with the challengers.

They load up the TripleBomb but Goldust comes in with a chair for the save. He can’t keep Reigns down though and Roman gets the chair. A big chair shot misses and Goldust scores with a cross body, crushing the chair against Reigns’ chest. Cody tries a Disaster Kick off the steps but gets caught in a running powerbomb against the barricade. Goldust hits atomic drops on the tag champions and a Cactus Clothesline puts Goldust and Reigns on the floor but here’s Ambrose to jump the painted one.

The fans correctly say that this is awesome right before Reigns DESTROYS Goldust with a spear through the barricade. That looked AWESOME. Dean throws Cody and Reigns back into the ring but here’s Big Show through the crowd. Shield grabs chairs but Show cleans house anyway until only Reigns is left standing. Cody kicks Roman into the KO punch and Cody gets the pin and the titles at 19:15.

Rating: A-. Well that helped. This felt like Mankind beating the Rock for the title back in January of 1999 which is about as high of a compliment as I can give a match. This is the kind of moment that this story has been dying for since it started and just like the match at Battleground, it was built up through emotion and it worked like a charm. Great match.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the most boring episodes of Raw I can remember in a very long time. There are multiple problems to this whole cycle but first and foremost is that we already got the build up to these matches when we were getting ready for Battleground. The only changes to the title picture are that the match is inside the Cell and Brie Bella, which don’t make up for how uninteresting it is.

On top of that, the three hour issue is rearing its ugly head again. Look at some of the matches tonight like Santino vs. Fandango and the first two tag matches. They’re clearly just there to fill in time on the show and serve absolutely no other purpose. That’s not interesting TV, especially when the matches aren’t even that good. This was the fourth time we’ve seen 3MB vs. Los Matadores in two weeks. That’s how lazy the writing team has gotten, so why should I care about the matches either? Horribly dull show tonight, though the main event did help things a lot.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Rollup

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to Slater

Ryback b. R-Truth – Shell Shock

Real Americans b. Tons of Funk – Neutralizer to Tensai

Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella – Big Boot

CM Punk b. Curtis Axel – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield – Cody pinned Reigns after a KO Punch from Big Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2001
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 13,936
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We continue on the Road to the Royal Rumble here as this is the final Raw until the show. Austin is of course the hottest thing in the world at this point and is on the verge of winning his record setting third Rumble. Also we’re looking at Angle trying to hold onto the title as he gets ready to face HHH on Sunday. This should be fun though so let’s get to it.

After a brief tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. we’re ready to go. The holiday was around this time remember.

Rock/Taker vs. Kane/Rikishi later tonight.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Right to Censor

It’s Ivory, Venis and Richards here. WOW that siren is annoying. Ivory issued a challenge to Chyna on Heat the previous night which would result in Chyna actually losing to her at the Rumble. Val and Jeff start us off here. Jeff of course outmaneuvers Val with ease to take over. Off to Matt and it’s all Team Extreme to start. Spin Cycle (a weird double suplex kind of move) from the Hardys to Val.

Side slam by Richards gets two for Matt. Only the girls in this didn’t wind up in TNA at some point. I’m not sure what that says but I don’t think it’s good. JR and the King get to make fun of the RTC which is a parody of the PTC which was a major thorn in the side of Vince because they didn’t like what was on TV so they talked about it incessantly. Double suplex gets two for Steven.

Matt fights him off and gets a middle rope legdrop for two. Good thing that didn’t happen today or Steven would be buried under the ring. Off to Jeff who cleans house. The fans want Lita and Ivory accidentally tags herself in. Litarana to Val and a spear to Ivory. Ivory tries to run but Chyna throws her back into Lita and a Twist of Fate to end it.

Rating: C+. Formula based but fun match here. Both teams worked pretty fast paced and the RTC didn’t drag this out somehow. Not a great match or anything but for an opener this was fine. Chyna coming out for the save helped a lot as there was limited point to having Lita vs. Ivory. Fun match to start the show.

Chyna accepts the challenge.

Stephanie and HHH arrive.

We get a clip from Smackdown of Austin destroying Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.

Here’s HHH for a little chat. Stephanie looking good in a black leather dress. HHH talks about how he hears the same thing everywhere he goes. Everyone says to him to take care of the Game. HHH says unless he’s provoked he won’t go after Austin tonight. Stephanie says that order will be maintained tonight by Vince, who is here live via satellite.

Vince is surrounded by XFL stuff and has an XFL ball. It launched on my birthday which isn’t one of my prouder moments. If HHH provokes Austin then he loses his title shot. If Austin provokes HHH, he’s out of the Rumble. Vince aged a lot in the last decade as he looks very young here. Tonight it’s Austin/Dudleys vs. Edge/Christian/Angle which should be interesting. Vince has to leave now for a meeting but he has his phone on. Odd way for him to go but whatever.

It’s odd because the segment isn’t over yet. HHH says that Angle is champion because HHH has allowed him to be so. He says he never lost the title (Rock pinned Vince in a6 man to win it) and Angle has never won defended against him due to being busy with Austin. He talks about Kurt’s title reign and how Kurt can bring all the help he wants because HHH will win the title on Sunday anyway.

Here’s Kurt with a rebuttal. Angle is disappointed in Stephanie because she blew it because she picked HHH over him. Speaking of games, Donkey Kong has a better chance of taking the title from Angle than HHH does. He’s the big smelly ape that people actually like. Angle has someone in his corner, which is someone that the McMahons know quite well: Trish. Remember she was sleeping with Vince at the time.

Trish makes innuendo about her sleeping with Vince so Stephanie calls her a w****. That would seem to be accurate in the story. Stephanie makes a spanking match with Jackie vs. Trish. Yeah because that’s such punishment. She can’t wrestle so let’s make her do something where there’s no wrestling required. Long segment, running nearly 10 minutes.

Back and we get a clip of Trish volunteering to get a spanking from Vince on Smackdown to explain things a bit more. HHH isn’t sure how Vince is going to take this. Stephanie needs acting lessons in a fierce way.

Hardcore Title: Test vs. Raven

Well at least they both have good music. Raven brings out his shopping cart full of weapons. Fire extinguisher to the face gives Raven control to start but he walks into a full nelson slam to take him down. Here’s Hardcore Holly as I think you know what’s coming. Blackman comes out too and it’s a big mess. As in a bigger mess than usual if that’s possible.

Raven tries to leave but Test follows him up the ramp. Test picks him up and rams Raven’s face into the WWF.com sign above the entrance. Abandon all hope ye who log on? They go to the back where Regal jumps both of them, allowing Raven to pin Test. No rating of course as this was maybe two minutes. Raven drives off in a waiting car. This might result in Raven’s ninja.

Blackman and Holly make a match for later tonight. Good thing they had a time slot all emptied up and waiting on someone to fill it in isn’t it?

XFL ad makes me laugh.

Here’s Rock to do his usual awesome stuff. We’re six days from the Rumble and Rock has a tag match with Taker vs. Kane/Rikishi. Excuse the Rock for not doing cartwheels and backflips of joy. This is a one night partnership but today is a very special day because it is the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Rock has a dream of his own and that is to win the Rumble. Nice transition there. He emulates I Have A Dream but switches out free at last with whipping in a funny line. Good stuff here although kind of short by his standards.

The Dudleys say that tonight it’s a one night partnership with Austin and after the match is over, they’ll have a Dudleyville Discussion with Austin.

HHH and Stephanie call Vince to talk about Drew Carey wanting to do something at the Rumble. Ah wait that’s not why they’re calling. They’re calling to make Rock happy so Vince changes it to Rock/Kane vs. Taker/Rikishi. Uh, ok?

Some Milwaukee Bucks are here.

Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Rock/Kane

Some odd pairings here. Rikishi is #30 in the Rumble. Tough Enough is coming. It’s now 2011 and it’s on its way back. Kind of ironic isn’t it? Not really but it sounds good and these entrances are taking a long time so I need something to pass the time. Rock vs. Rikishi to start. Rikishi knocks him back into the corner and goes for a Stinkface but Rock hits a big clothesline out of the corner to avoid a bad facial.

Kane tags himself in and Rock isn’t too thrilled with that. Samoan Drop takes Kane down as I continue to wonder what Vince was thinking when he picked Rikishi as the big bad. Kane manages to slam him in an impressive spot. Top rope clothesline takes him down again. How exactly was that hellacious though? I’m not getting that part.

Off to the Deadman now (with a tag most would call a right hand to the jaw) as the Brothers square off….again. Rock returns the favor and tags himself back in to give us the eternally bad pairing of Rock vs. Taker. Taker beats him down and hits Old School. Rock fights back but both guys go down to a double clothesline. Swinging neckbreaker puts Taker down for a second as this is a brawl.

Everything breaks down and Kane clocks Rikishi in the head with the bell. He’s a Samoan. That isn’t supposed to work. Spinebuster takes down the Rock but Kane jumps Rock to wild heat. Taker tries to give Rock the Last Ride but Rock dead weights him or something before the second attempt ends Rock.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag match and not much more. It’s fine in that regard but sweet goodness I don’t get why Rikishi was pushed so hard. Did someone really think that was a good idea? Not bad here but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about five minutes. At least it built to the Rumble somewhat.

Benoit is bringing a ladder to the arena.

After a break here’s Benoit on top of said ladder. He talks about how awesome Jericho is and what an honor it’ll be to wrestle him in a ladder match. Benoit has made a little video for us called the best of Benoit vs. Jericho. As predicted it’s all Benoit destroying Jericho. Naturally Jericho comes in from the crowd and destroys Benoit.

The Dudleys and Edge/Christian get into it in the back and the Dudleys are left laying, including a Conchairto to D-Von.

HHH and Stephanie talk about Austin not having partners now. Stephanie thinks she should call her dad for….uh…no adequately explored reason.

Hardcore Holly vs. Steve Blackman

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what the world has been waiting for! For no apparent reason this isn’t hardcore. They trade strikes and reversals to start us off. Blackman drapes Holly over the ropes and shoves the referee (Teddy Long) maybe 40 seconds in. Holly with some low blows and it’s still not a DQ. A chair is taken away from him and Blackman goes to get some more stuff. Teddy walks off as I hope this isn’t the referee strike angle. I always hated that thing. Not really even a match.

HHH/Steph call Vince who says if Austin can get some partners he can have replacements. Vince asks about Trish and Stephanie…I think gets on him about it?

Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

At least Trish looks great in leather pants that are skin tight. I have no idea how you’re supposed to win this as they both have straps. I’m assuming you win by pinfall. As Trish is about to be whipped here’s Angle for the save. Jackie tries to spank her but only gets her pants down. Her thong-clad hips are slapped by the strap and I guess Jackie wins. This was whatever.

We get a clip of Kai En Tai dancing with Too Cool but then turning heel for no apparent reason.

K-Kwik/Too Cool vs. Kai En Tai/Tazz

Kwik is commonly known as R-Truth. Some odd pairings here to be sure. Tazz cuts a brief promo. Kai En Tai’s dubbing gimmick is something I wasn’t a fan of back in the day but now I find it hysterical. Scotty and Funaki start us off. Too Cool hits a Hart Attack of all things. Taka tries a rana but gets caught in a nice sitout powerbomb by Grandmaster. Tazz surprisingly does the worst of his team as Truth comes in. The Worm hits Tazz but after Funaki interference the Tazmission beats Truth.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here in the slightest. It was a quick six man tag to fill in a spot on the card. Tazz would be face by Mania and I have no interest in the other five guys here. Yeah there really isn’t much else to say about this match is there? Why was this on the card again?

Angle suggest that Trish head back to the hotel and put some salve on her. She was somehow curvier at this point.

Royal Rumble Moment: Too Cool and Rikishi dance in the ring. That was awesome.

HHH and Stephanie conspire evily.

Info for Tough Enough is given. This would result in Maven and Nidia who both meant a grand total of nothing.

We recap the Chyna/Ivory thing from earlier in the night which is an odd time to have this on. Ok then.

Billy Gunn is at WWF New York and they ask him how he feels about Chyna coming back so soon. He’s not sure about it but it’s her call. Oh and he might win the Rumble. That’s hilarious.

Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian vs. Steve Austin/???/???

That’s quite the heel team as they’re all champions at this point. Out of nowhere the APA run in and they’re the partners apparently. Austin and Angle start but Angle tags Christian in almost immediately. Off to Edge and Bradshaw now which goes badly for the Canadian. Double spinebuster to Edge as Farrooq comes in. It’s weird to see Austin beat up Edge. They’re tagging that fast mind you.

Angle vs. Austin now and Austin shockingly BACKFLIPS out of a suplex. Edge and Christian grab some chairs but can’t hit a Conchairto on Austin. The APA chases them off and we’re down to the two stars. Superplex gets two for Austin. HHH comes out to the ramp and Austin stares him down. Low blow by Angle and Kurt takes over. Austin manages to counter an Angle suplex and takes over again.

There’s a belly to belly for Austin’s trouble though as Angle pops those hips like only he can. Angle Slam is blocked as they’re flying through this. Thesz Press and Austin hammers away. Angle goes up but jumps into a Stunner to end it. More or less a one on one match but that’s fine by me.

Rating: C+. WAY fast here and it worked pretty well I thought. This works fine as HHH not getting involved here and having Austin do his dirty work for him was perfectly fine as it kills two birds with one stone for him. The tag team aspect meant nothing for the most part but the match was still incredibly energetic and fun.

HHH comes down to the ring and begs Austin to hit him, offering him the first shot. Austin goes to the floor and gets a chair while HHH screams at him to hit him. Austin walks away and makes the symbol of the title around his waist. HHH calls him a pussy, making him charge back but Angle comes up from behind HHH and gets the Slam but Austin gets a Stunner on him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty bad, but everything was covered for the Rumble. The PPV was awesome so that helps a lot, but I don’t think anyone actually believed Austin would lose. There were only five matches and everything got some build, but this was pre-Brand Split so there was always Smackdown for more building and the final build. Fun little show, but nothing great or memorable at all.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 7, 2013
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Battleground and we’re in the same place we were before with the title picture. Orton vs. Bryan went to a no contest due to interference from Big Show, who finally snapped and went against the regime. This likely sets up Bryan vs. Orton III inside the Cell in just three weeks. Other than that the Rhodes Family got a huge win over the Shield, meaning they very well may get a tag title shot. Let’s get to it.

We open with the recap from last night’s main event.

Here’s a ticked off Stephanie to open the show. She talks about how things went bad last night and how she’s livid as a result. Stephanie demands Big Show get out here right now and immediately starts yelling, saying that Big Show can’t do anything right and last night was the result of way to much stress. He can’t manage his finances, his life, his marriage or anything else.

Show says sorry in less than a half hearted way, sending Stephanie even further over the edge. She goes off about saving his mortgage and owning him and his home so Show asks if he can leave now. Stephanie demands that he beg for forgiveness but Show says no. He knocked Bryan out because she told him to. Stephanie says Show is lying because Brad Maddox gave the other. Show says that Brad is their puppet and calls HHH an SOB. Stephanie slaps him about five times and fires him.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes him into the corner tos tart before taking Dolph down into a chinlock. The announcers talk about the opening segment while JBL tries to keep them on topic. Back up and Ziggler is sent throat first into the ropes before Sandow puts on a headscissors. Ziggler is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Damien getting two off something we didn’t see and whipping Dolph into the corner a few times. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow followed by another chinlock.

Back up and Ziggler is thrown over the top as this is completely one sided so far. Ziggler is sent into the post for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Dolph fights up and sends Damien shoulder first into the post before firing off some awkward looking punches. They head to the floor for even more punches before going inside for right hands to Sandow in the corner. A dropkick gets two for Ziggler but he gets crotched on top for two. Not that it matters as Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for the pin at 12:18.

Rating: C-. Not a great match at all but it was acceptable and very different from last night’s match. This was more of a squash for the start until we got to the interesting part. Sandow was looking very frustrated after the match which means changes might be in store for him. Also wasn’t he supposed to have a knee injury?

Stephanie yells at Brad Maddox and demands that he go out and apologize for what happened last night.

Bruno Sammartino came out to see the crowd. DURING THE BREAK??? One of the biggest stars of all time is not brought out DURING A BREAK! Lawler led the crowd in singing Happy Birthday to him.

Alicia Fox/Aksana/Rosa Mendes vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

This would be Eva and JoJo’s in ring debuts. Natalya runs over Aksana (who seems to have gotten a haircut) to start before it’s off to Eva. It’s clear that neither girl is very comfortable in the ring as the two of them look like they’re trying to remember every scripted spot. Off to the very blonde Rosa who doesn’t do much better, so here’s Alicia to be the ring general. Eva is sent badly into the corner but avoids a knee, allowing for the tag off to Natalya. House is cleaned and a quick Sharpshooter gets the submission from Fox at 3:27.

Rating: D-. When the best thing you can say is neither rookie horribly botched anything, it’s not a good sign. JoJo and Eva are glorified models and everyone knows it, but they’re on a very scripted reality show so they get to be on Monday Night Raw. Nothing to see here and Rosa doesn’t look nearly as good as a blonde.

Before the girls are out of the ring, Maddox comes out to announce Orton vs. Bryan inside the Cell. There’s going to be a guest referee and the fans can vote on which of three Hall of Famers they want for the job. The first option is Booker T, who says vote for him.

Here’s how to download the WWE App. The announcers even say they know we know how to download an app.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

This would be Mahal/McIntyre this week. Diego throws Mahal around to start but gets kicked in the head and it’s off to McIntyre. Drew puts on an armbar but Diego pops up and makes the tag off to Fernando to clean house. Apparently the Real Americans are tweeting about Los Matadores. Thankfully this doesn’t last long with the double Angle Slam pinning McIntyre at 2:20.

Post match Slater chases after Torito and gets beaten up, allowing Torito to hurricanrana him down.

We recap the opening segment again.

Here are Heyman and his guys with something to say. Heyman says he’s the only man that can say he beat Punk on his own with his arms behind his back. Punk may have pinning Ryback last night but he had to cheat to do so. Before Heyman can say anything else, here’s Punk with a rebuttal. Punk doesn’t like being accused of being a cheater but says he’ll beat Ryback at any time he wants. He accepts the rematch offer before it’s even offered and says he’ll do it anytime anywhere. Ryback says that Punk is a bully and offeres him a fight right now, but here’s R-Truth to join Punk with an offer of a tag match.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth/CM Punk

Ryback bails from Punk to start so it’s Axel in first. Curtis is immediately taken down by Punk and it’s off to Truth for some shots of his own. The Heyman guys head to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Axel in trouble from Truth so he brings in Ryback for a bearhug to slow Truth down. Back to Axel for a middle rope ax handle for two followed by some stomping. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Truth is whipped into the corner.

Back to Ryback who rams him into the corner harder than Axel ever could. A slam gets two on Truth and it’s off to an abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs. Truth comes back with a side kick to the face and it’s hot tag Punk to clean house on Axel. There’s the GTS for Curtis and a high kick to Ryback, but it’s back to Truth for the ax kick and the pin on Axel at 12:42.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here which extends one feud which should be extended and keeps another feud going for the sake of keeping it going. Truth vs. Axel has been done already and there’s not need to see them fight again, which is probably why we have to sit through it even more. At least Axel is defending the belt though.

The second candidate for guest referee is Bob Backlund. In his crazy man voice, he says he loves us and we should vote for us because he doesn’t swear. He’s been a good guy in the business but he’s been bad as well, so he doesn’t care who wins the title. If either guy gets out of line, he’ll put them in the crossface chicken wing.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Orton pounds away to start and sends Kofi into the corner for a quick one count. Randy sends him into the steps and back inside, only to have Kofi send him to the floor in turn. Randy throws him right back outside as we take a break. Back with Orton stomping away and getting two off the backbreaker. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kofi comes back with a middle rope chop to the head.

Randy punches him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Kofi gets two off a high cross body and the SOS gets the same. A springboard cross body is countered into the powerslam from Orton but the Elevated DDT is countered as well. They head to the floor with Kofi being sent into the barricade and the Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Kofi out cold. Back in and the RKO gets the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. This was fine for the most part with some nice sequences throughout. Kofi is the perfect choice for a match like this as he doesn’t lose anything by getting pinned here. He could lose every match he ever has but will still be a credible guy in the ring. Orton gets a win over a name and looks good in the process so points all around.

Post match here’s Bryan to go after Orton despite having no reason to be furious. Agents and referees break it up.

Vickie yells at someone when Del Rio comes up. He thinks he should be named face of the WWE since he’s the only world champion and all. Del Rio sucks up to her a bit and gives her his scarf before kissing her on the cheek. He leaves and Vickie drops the scarf.

The final candidate is Shawn Michaels. He says that he and HHH are indeed personal friends, but this is about business. Shawn trained Daniel Bryan to wrestle but he wouldn’t let that nor his friendship with HHH sway him. He and Orton don’t like each other so that’s not a factor either. Shawn calls himself H-B-Shizzle, drawing a chant from the fans. He guarantees a new WWE Champion because he wants what’s best for the fans.

Here’s how to download the WWE App for Android.

We recap the opening segment. Again.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

RVD is confirmed to be taking time off during the entrances. Non-title of course. Before the match, Vickie says that Alberto’s opponent at HIAC will be……..JOHN CENA? The distraction lets Ricardo get a quick rollup pin at 10 seconds.

Post match Alberto sends Ricardo into the announce table and Pillmanizes his arm.

John Cena tweets about the match which makes it sound official.

Fandango vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder pounds away to start but gets caught in a quick suplex for two. Ryder fights up and hits his usual though before Fandango bails to the floor. Back in and Fandango snaps his neck across the top and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 2:45. Nothing to see here.

Shawn wins the poll by a landslide. Backlund actually got 1/3 of the vote.

Real Americans vs. Santino Marella/Great Khali

Swagger starts with Santino and it’s time to be goofy early on. Santino gets caught in the Real American corner as the fans chant for the bad guys. Cesaro comes in after the Vader Bomb for the double stomp for two. The ice cold tag brings in Khli as the crowd just does not care here. Some chops have Cesaro in trouble but he takes out Khali’s leg and puts on the swing, waking up the crowd immediately. The swing is good for the pin on Khali at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, swing was awesome, those are my entire thoughts on this stupid match.

Post match Horny gets put in the Swing but Santino makes the save with the Cobra.

Breast cancer sucks.

Here’s Miz for MizTV but before he can get the name out it’s Wyatt time. The lights come out and the Family is in the ring but Miz runs after Bray. He gets in a few shots and gets behind Bray who grabs the Family around their necks and leans over to look at Miz.

Brad begs for mercy from Stephanie when HHH comes in. He’ll be at ringside for the main event tonight.

Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Daniel Bryan

HHH comes out to watch the match. Goldust starts with Rollins and spits in his face before firing off right hands. An atomic drop has Rollins in trouble and it’s off to Cody with a springboard missile dropkick for two. Ambrose comes in for some right hands but gets caught by a knee to the face for two. Back to Goldust to stomp away in the corner and get two off something resembling a bulldog.

Cody comes in again with right hands but Dean takes over in the corner. The moonsault press is countered by Dean shoving Cody off the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ambrose talking trash to Cody and choking away a bit. Cody breaks up a belly to back superplex attempt and hits the moonsault press to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Bryan to speed things up with Rollins.

The moonsault in the corner has Seth confused and a German suplex sets up the top rope hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and reigns takes the Disaster Kick. A Cactus Clothesline puts cody and Roman on the floor, leaving Daniel and Seth in the ring. The kick the head sets up the YES Lock but Ambrose hits Cody with a chair for the DQ at 11:00.

Scratch that as HHH says it doesn’t end with a DQ, so restart the match as a No DQ match. The brawling continues and it’s a FLYING GOAT to take out Ambrose and Reigns. Orton comes in from the crowd with an RKO on the floor, giving Rollins the pin on Bryan at 12:22 total.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was kind of confusing. I guess it’s to seem like HHH will rig the booking to his benefit but they could have done the same finish without the switch at the end. The match wasn’t all that great due to a lack of time, but it still worked well enough for a screwy finish.

Post match the beating is on but here’s Big Show (to music) to stalk HHH. Shield guards the boss but Show gets in the ring anyway. They swarm him but are easily tossed away, leaving just HHH vs. Show. Shield pops back up though and beats down Show as HHH takes his jacket off. He throws them off again and KO’s HHH, leaving Bryan to stand over the boss to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but you could see A LOT of filler in this. It’s very clear that HIAC is just Battleground part 2 which is understandable but doesn’t make it interesting. Shawn Michaels as guest referee should help a bit but there’s only so much he can do. Cena returning will help a lot but it’s really early given how bad his arm was. This was a more coherent show, but it still fees like everyone but Bryan is the focus and that’s not good.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Fameasser

Natalya/JoJo/Eva Marie b. Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Fox

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to McIntyre

CM Punk/R-Truth b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Ax kick to Axel

Randy Orton b. Kofi Kingston – RKO

Fandango b. Zack Ryder – Guillotine legdrop

Real Americans b. Santino Marella/Great Khali – Cesaro Swing to Khali

Shield b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollins pinned Bryan after an RKO from Randy Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: