Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2011
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

Three weeks out from Capitol Punishment and we now have some new stories set up. It’s looking like we’re setting up some form of Truth vs. Cena at the PPV which is probably the best option right here. Other than that it’s kind of hard to say where we’re going with major matches as other than that, Show vs. Alberto is probably coming later with the knee injury angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a tribute to Memorial Day and soldiers that have died in combat. Nothing wrong with that.

And now we have a black screen. Oh wait here’s R-Truth at a merchandise stand destroying stuff. And never mind as we’re gone again with a graphic saying there are technical difficulties. Ok now he’s destroying the stand with no audio. He messes with a concession stand and we cut to black again. We have some background audio but whatever he’s saying into the microphone isn’t heard.

Cole and Lawler are talking but their words don’t match their movements. Lawler says it’s something to do with the conspiracy. Now Truth is coming down the steps in the audience and yelling at people in Cena gear. There goes the audio again. Truth comes down to a family in Cena gear and the audio is way out of sync. He calls the kid little Jimmy and the kid’s father big Jimmy. The father says What’s Up and Truth isn’t happy. The sound sounds like it’s in a tunnel or something and is about 8 seconds ahead of the video.

He’s in the ring now and ranting about how the fans are the problem instead of him. It’s about Little Jimmy apparently. Here comes Cena as Vince must be losing his mind right now. Cena says that Truth is losing it because he thinks everyone is named Jimmy and there is no conspiracy. The audio is in sync now, about 10 minutes into the show. Truth says it’s the fans and Cena that are crazy, not Truth.

The fans chant for Cena and the picture is still jumping a bit. Cena says that these are the greatest fans in the world and they agree that Truth should be in a straightjacket. Cena says he has no problem knocking some sense back into Truth. Truth wants a match so all the little Jimmys can watch him beat Cena down. Cue the GM for an E-Mail read by Cole and the main event is Truth vs. Cena with no little Jimmys allowed at ringside. Truth thinks it’s a joke and says Cena will get got.

Kharma will speak tonight.

Dolph vs. Kofi next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Cole says he’s thankful for being back at ringside to call this show. Dolph is blonde again which is a big improvement for him. Technical stuff to start as Lawler says Vickie looks good tonight. I know they were having technical difficulties but dang man they’re messing with Lawler’s words now. Slower paced match than was probably expected. Ziggler takes him down with a shoulder block but Kofi speeds things up a bit.

The referee has an elbow pad on for some reason. Cole keeps sucking up to Vickie as Kofi takes over a bit. No one has really had an extended advantage yet. Kofi tries his jump into the punches in the corner but Dolph moves, allowing Kofi to land on the top rope. Dolph shoves him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding an armbar and pulling Kofi back down by the hair. Elbow drop gets two and we go to a chinlock. Stinger Splash in the corner misses for Dolph and Kofi speeds things up again. He can’t get the SOS but the jumping clothesline does hit. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Sleeper almost goes on and Kofi hits a pendulum kick. Top rope cross body misses and a Fameasser gets a close two. Small package gets two for Kofi but he walks into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better near the ending but the first part of it was kind of uninspiring stuff. Not a great match or anything but it’s nice to see them get about ten minutes to go out and let a match build upon itself instead of being like three minutes long. Not bad but nothing great, especially compared to what they did on Smackdown last year.

Here’s Alberto in an Audi. We get a clip from last week where Big Show was hit by the car driven by Ricardo. Part of the clip shows Alberto was driving and Ricardo switched places with him in the background. Ricardo explains his side of the story in Spanish. Alberto says bad things happen to bad people. They owe him money for damaging his car and Ricardo will send them the bill. Get well soon Big Show. So it took almost 8 minutes to say “I’m not sorry”?

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

Eve vs. Brie to start as Eve does her gymnastics. She hooks some kind of a choke/arm lock on but Twin Magic prevails. The Bellas beat down Eve for a good while as the crowd really doesn’t seem to care. There’s the tag to Kelly who does what is supposed to be a Thesz Press I think. Kelly’s belt goes flying off and she gives whichever Bella that is a Stinkface. Everything breaks down and the K2 ends let’s say Nikki at 2:56. Just your typical Divas match with the looks being the only thing of note.

There’s a cookout in Nebraska. No real reason for it being shown but it’s the second time we’ve seen it tonight.

Cole is in the ring to talk to Riley about his attack last week. The Raw GM has apparently signed Alex Riley again. We see the beatdown on Miz from last week. Here’s Riley with his own theme song and a decent reaction from the crowd. Cole yells at Riley about how he betrayed Miz after Miz had done so much for him. What about Miz apparently? Miz looked at Riley like a brother and Cole wants to know how Riley can do what he did to Miz last week.

Riley says he’s never felt better and Cole suggests Riley beg Miz for forgiveness. Cole rants on him a bit more and Riley cuts him off. Riley says Cole has a big mouth and is starting to get annoying just like Miz. Cole calls Riley a bastard an Riley grabs him. He of course takes too long and here’s Miz for the beatdown. He looks manly in pink. Miz tries to get a kick in but Riley takes him down. Miz tries to run but Riley takes him down in the aisle and continues the beating. Riley throws him onto the table and Miz runs into the crowd and out the door as Riley stands tall in the ring.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Ryan is with Punk here. Cole can’t wait to tell us that a guy on American Idol wore a Punk shirt. You know, for all the WWE fans that watch American Idol. Punk takes over to start but gets caught in a kick to the chest and a headscissors. Into the corner but Punk gets out of the way and sends Rey to the floor. Rey gets on the apron but Ryan sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Punk holding Rey in something like a Gory Stretch for a bit. Rey escapes but a headscissors is countered into a backbreaker for two. Punk hammers away but Rey manages to dropkick him into 619 position. CM hits the floor but Rey hits a suicide dive to send Punk over the announce table. Back in Rey hits the seated senton and the springboard cross body for two. A sweet pinning combination gets two.

Big spin kick misses and Punk gets another backbreaker for two. Punk loads up the GTS but Rey counters into a rana to set up the 619. Ryan blocks it so Rey dropkicks him to the floor. Rey tries to skin the cat back in but Punk catches him in the GTS position. Rey counters again but a big kick to the head is enough for Punk to pin him at 9:05.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as they let both guys do their thing. Punk and Nexus’ push continues and it’s definitely not a bad thing. Also seeing Rey lose is always a plus as it gets a good deal annoying to see him beat every single person he’s in there with. Either way, good stuff here and Punk’s push continues, which is a good thing.

We get a clip of Austin on Jimmy Fallon.

Here’s Kharma to explain what happened last week. Her voice is a lot softer than you would expect. Her dream was to be a WWE Superstar (not Diva) and here she is. She tried out for season 2 of Tough Enough and JR apparently told her she was too fat to be a Diva. She went to Japan where she cleaned floors for training. She went to every wrestling promotion in the world (no mention of TNA) before WWE called.

Her other dream was to be a mother. She’ll be a mother because she is currently with child. This is a high risk business and she can’t risk anything happening to her because it’s a high risk sport. She’ll be back though. Here are the Bellas to make fun of her. They say they’re impressed that she found a guy to hook up with. It must bother her to not be able to beat them up right now. They make fat jokes and the Bellas try to run. Kharma will be back in a year and she hopes they’ll still be here because then she has a new dream. Her music plays her out.

We get the really stupid press conference promo on Capitol Punishment. At least mix it up a bit. I think this one is different but still, the joke is over.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger hammers away to start but an attempt at a belly to back suplex puth both guys on the floor. Back in and it’s all Swagger so far with him hammering away on the back of Bourne. Rather slow match here but Bourne tries to speed things up a bit, only to walk into a sidewalk slam. Swagger keeps smacking him in the head and seemingly wasting time. And yep there it is as Bourne grabs a victory roll for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match there to have Swagger mess up and continue this feud with Bourne. I hope this leads to a face turn for Swagger as his character can only go so far as a heel. He has the talent but they haven’t really gone anywhere with it. Pretty much a nothing match but with 3 minutes what can they do?

Truth talks to himself some more.

Cena talks to Ryder who looks like he has something resembling the IC Title.

R-Truth vs. John Cena

We do get part of the segment to open the show from earlier tonight with working audio. Cena’s music hits at 10:58 so this is going to be a pretty short match. Cena sends him to the floor almost immediately and Truth rants at some fans. Truth gets something going but is sent to the floor again where he runs his mouth some more. They’re intentionally not having a ton of contact here.

There are the dueling chants as Cena gets going. At least he’s not gone get got. Cena takes him to the floor again and Cena gets frustrated. Truth escapes the Attitude Adjustment and hits the crowd this time. Cena goes after him but gets caught with a shot to the head and it’s a count out win for Truth at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not even a match really as there might have been a total of 30 seconds of contact the entire time. Still though they’re setting up for later on, likely with a PPV title match coming up. If that’s the case then this is fine as the point was to not have them actually do anything yet. Not even a match though so the grade means nothing really.

Truth goes back into the crowd and throws soda in the face of the fans from earlier. Cena gives them his wristbands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a rather good show overall with the pacing being far better than it’s been in recent weeks and a good deal of wrestling to go with it. Truth being all insane is a nice touch to his character as he’s playing that character to perfection. A lot of stuff was advanced tonight and we got a high amount of wrestling too. What more can you ask for? Very solid show here indeed.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – K2 to Nikki Bella

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – Kick to the head

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

R-Truth b. John Cena via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 2013
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The main story tonight is what happened last week with HHH collapsing. Tonight we’re likely to get an update on his condition, meaning we’re likely to hear from Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel about what they did to him. There’s also a good chance that Cena will be back from the beating he received at Ryback’s hands. Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional moment of remembrance due to Memorial Day which is always classy.

Recap of the end of the show from last week and Ryback’s challenge to Cena.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about the ending to the last man standing match being controversial and about how Ryback called him out for an ambulance match. After stopping for a WE WANT BRET chant, Cena makes the counteroffer of a 3 Stages of Hell match, with stipulations of a lumberjack match, a tables match, and then the ambulance match. Cue Ryback who calls himself Beelzebub because of where he tried to take Cena. I’m assuming that means the match is on.

After Ryback leaves, here’s Heyman to introduce Cena to Curtis Axel. He talks about how Axel “beat” HHH last week and proposes Cena vs. Axel for later tonight. Cena says that Axel has guts but says he needs to stay away from Heyman. Axel isn’t impressed and wants a fight, so Cena says it’s on.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston

Langston pounds Del Rio into the corner but gets caught by a quick dropkick. Del Rio low bridges him to the floor and hits a suicide dive as Cole runs through the list of networks that carry the show in different countries. Big E. drops Alberto face first on the steps for two back in the ring as Cole is now plugging the WWE App and we get a quick partial interview from Ziggler on him wanting to come back.

A backbreaker puts Del Rio down but he avoids a charge into the corner, sending Langston into the post. There’s the Backstabber and a hard kick to Langston’s head for two but the armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly. Langston pulls the strap down but AJ gets on the apron and takes off a turnbuckle pad. The armbreaker goes on but Langston lifts him up into the air to counter. Del Rio gets to his feet and shoves Langston chest first into the exposed buckle, allowing him to get a rollup for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: C. These two have some chemistry together but this existed for the angle with AJ. It seems like they’re wanting to split Langston off from Ziggler and AJ which would be one of the best things they could do for him. The match here wasn’t bad and I could see these two having a much longer match in the future.

Post match Langston is upset at AJ and walks away from her.

Kane and Bryan are in the back with Bryan pacing back and forth. Bryan is muttering about the weak link until Kane yells at him, saying that only Bryan thinks he’s the weak link. If they want to beat Shield tonight, Bryan needs to pull himself together. Bryan interprets this as Kane calling him the weak link.

They get into the yes/no argument but stop because Bret Hart is here. Bret calls them one of the best combinations he’s ever seen, so Bryan asks Bret if anyone ever saw him as the weak link in the Hart Foundation. Hart says not really and leaves. Kane wants to know why that means something from Bret and not him. Bryan says because he’s Bret Hart and you’re Kane. I love how simple that is.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

This is another rematch because of Shield interfering in the one on Smackdown. Kofi starts with a quick armbar but gets pounded in the corner by the champion. Ambrose ducks a quick Trouble in Paradise attempt and bails to the floor as we take a break after less than two minutes of action and less than three minutes after the end of the last commercial.

Back with Ambrose getting two off an elbow drop but Kofi fires off some elbows of his own to recover. A cross body out of the corner gets two but Dean rolls away from the Boom Drop. They trade near falls in a string of rollups before the SOS gets two for Kofi. Orton and Sheamus are watching the match on the WWE App as Kofi gets two off a springboard clothesline. Ambrose trips Kofi up and sends him off the apron into the steps, allowing the bulldog driver to end him clean at 8:23.

Rating: C. Not much to see here and the ending was more abrupt than I was expecting. Thankfully though that was a definitive ending and we don’t have to drag out the rematches anymore. Dean won cleanly and looks like the better man, which is exactly what Kofi was there to make happen. Not a great match, but it was the perfect way to go about things here.

Post match Shield celebrates until HELL NO come out to start the tag title match after the break.

Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

This is joined in progress after the break with Bryan being double teamed. Rollins stays in and gets caught in the ribs by a running knee before Bryan fires off kicks in the corner. Kane tags himself in and Bryan isn’t pleased. A slam gets two for Kane and there’s a Hart Attack by the challengers (not that the announcers make note of it or anything). Back to Bryan who fires in elbows to the jaw before dragging Seth into the corner for a tag to Kane.

The big man loads up a chokeslam but Rollins counters with a LOUD enziguri. Off to Reigns who pounds Kane down while showing no problems with his ankle from Smackdown. Roman hooks a chinlock on Kane to slow things down a bit before getting two off a slam. It’s back to Seth to stomp away at the ribs and put on a chinlock of his own. Oh wait: WE GET SOMETHING ELSE FROM THE APP! This time it’s the Prime Time Players watching the match. Why would I want to get that thing if that’s what I’m going to get?

Anyway Kane fights back and clotheslines Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Bryan. He cleans house on the Shield, hitting a wicked German and a running dropkick to Rollins for two. Here are the rapid fire kicks to the chest and one to the head for two more. Seth loads up a superplex but Bryan slips underneath him and puts Rollins in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the chest. Bryan belly to back superplexes him down as we take a break.

Back with Rollins working over Bryan and putting him in a surfboard, only for Bryan to counter. Reigns gets the tag before Bryan can do anything else though and the beating continues. Roman gets two off a shoulder and it’s back to Rollins for the downward spiral into the buckle while calling Bryan the weak link. Back to Reigns who gets caught by a running kick to the face, allowing for the hot tag to Kane.

The big man cleans house as he is known to do, getting two off the side slam to Rollins. Reigns makes the save but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. The referee tells Bryan to quit beating on Reigns on the floor but he dives off the apron into a spinebuster anyway. Rollins uses the distraction to hit the springboard knee to the head of Kane for the pin at 18:40.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty good tag match and hopefully now we don’t have to see these guys fight anymore. Not that the matches have been bad or anything, but WWE has a really bad tendency to pound matches into the ground and make the fans loathe them no matter what. Just like earlier though, Shield looks good here and they get the rub they needed.

We recap the opening segment.

We recap the end of last week’s show and get some post show stuff with HHH saying he doesn’t remember any of the matc.

Apparently the injury took place from the sledgehammer shot to the head from Brock, meaning that Axel’s offense had no extra damage. HHH could be back next week.

You can vote as to whether Miz should be guest commentator, ring announcer or referee for Wade Barrett vs. Fandango.

After the break, Miz is going to be guest referee by a huge margin. I’m as shocked as you are.

Wade Barrett vs. Fandango

Fandango hits a quick chop to take over and pounds the champion (this is non-title) into the corner. An elbow to the jaw gets two but Barrett pounds away to put Fandango down for two. Barrett hits the boot to Fandango in the ropes, only to have Miz lay out Wade with the Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango gets the pin at 2:43.

Post match Miz kicks Fandango in the head as he and Summer are dancing, knocking Summer on top of him. Miz counts three because he can.

Shawn Michaels pops in to see Cena and says Cena is crazy. Cena thinks he’s doing what Shawn would do and leaves.

Tons of Funk/Great Khali vs. 3MB

This is over a destroyed birthday cake apparently. Khali destroys McIntyre with chops to start before it’s off to Tensai for his cannonball attack in the corner. The rest of the Band interrupts to take over but it’s quickly back to Brodus. A splash in the corner and a powerslam get two on Slater as everything breaks down. The splash finishes Slater at 2:53.

Apparently it’s Natalya’s birthday so Khali sings Happy Birthday to her.

Video on Cena’s patriotic stuff to celebrate Memorial Day.

Time for the Highlight Reel with guest Paul Heyman. After sucking up to Calgary, Jericho brings out Heyman for some insults as only Jericho can do. He talks about Heyman developing talent which Heyman agrees with, such as Chris Jericho. It was Heyman who gave Jericho his first break which Jericho agrees with. “Yeah and you still owe me money.” Heyman says he’s going to do the same thing with Curtis Axel tonight as Axel beats Cena later in the show.

Jericho would rather talk about Heyman’s other client and Heyman goes into his schtick about Lesnar. Instead, Jericho wants to talk about CM Punk, who has been gone for a month and a half. We get a clip of Punk walking out back in April and the fans chant for Mr. CM. Jericho talks about Heyman having the same suit and look on his face in both the clip and right now. Apparently Heyman was surprised to see Punk leave, but Heyman says he’s wearing the suit out of respect for Jericho.

That’s not enough for Jericho but Heyman doesn’t know what Chris wants. Heyman goes into his usual schtick about Punk’s accomplishments but Jericho cuts him off and asks where Punk is. Heyman says a statement is coming soon but that’s also not good enough for Jericho. Jericho says that Punk can’t be called the best in the world after being gone this long, but wonders if Punk will be at Payback in Chicago. Chris thinks he’s the best in the world which ticks Heyman off. The challenge is issued by Jericho but Heyman laughs at him. After more goading from Jericho and the fans, Heyman accepts for Punk and that’s that.

Bella Twins vs. Kaitlyn/Natalya

We’ll say Nikki starts with Kaitlyn and a lot of choking ensues. Off to a chinlock for good measure until Kaitlyn fights up and makes the tag off to Natalya. Sharpshooter goes on for like 30 seconds but there’s no tap out. Instead Brie comes in and breaks it up, only to be speared down. Kaitlyn spears Natalya by mistake, giving Nikki the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. Whatever. That is all.

The Bellas sing Happy Birthday to Natalya.

Bret comes in to see Axel and advises him to dump Heyman. Axel says no one gave him the time of day before last week but Heyman finally did. He’s completely right but we’re supposed to be offended I guess.

Bray Wyatt video. He and his Family are coming soon. For those of you NXT fans, you know why this is awesome.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars

Orton and Rhodes start things off with Randy running him over. Off to Sheamus with the slingshot shoulder for two before Sandow and Orton come in again. Damien pounds him down in the corner and brings Rhodes back in, only to have him caught in a suplex. Back to Sheamus who is stomped down in the corner before coming back with a neckbreaker for two. Sheamus goes up but gets slammed down by Sandow as we take a break.

Back with Sandow choking on Sheamus before it’s back to Rhodes for a body scissors. Back up and there’s the Irish Curse, allowing for the tag off to Orton. Both Scholars walk into powerslams and there’s the Elevated DDT to Sandow. We head to the floor with Rhodes and Orton colliding before Sandow throws Orton in for two. Cody hits the front suplex before it’s back to Damien with the Wind-Up Elbow for two.

Back to Cody who walks into the t-bone suplex, allowing for the tag to Sheamus. House is cleaned and there are ten forearms to Damien. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Sheamus for two, only to have Sheamus escape the Terminus and hit White Noise. Brogue Kick and we’re done at 15:40.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but DEAR GOODNESS I never want to see any combination of this match again. Sheamus and Orton have beaten the Scholars for what feels like 10000 times each and I’m just over it. It’s not entertaining, it’s not fun, it’s never in doubt and there’s no part of me that wants to watch it ever again. Find ANYBODY new for Sheamus and Orton to beat up, please.

Curtis Axel vs. John Cena

Cena hits a quick hiptoss and we’re already at a break. Back with Axel in control on the floor before heading back in for more pounding. A snap suplex gets two as the fans are looking at something in the audience. Axel wisely goes to an armbar until the fans are paying attention again. Back up and Axel clotheslines him in the back of the head for two as the fans are paying attention again. Cena fights up and hits the shoulders and ProtoBomb.

The Shuffle connects but Axel pops out of the AA and hits a dropkick for two. A middle rope ax handle connects but the second one misses, allowing Cena to hit a standing powerslam for two. Axel channels his Papa with a Hennig necksnap and a kick in the face for two. The PerfectPlex is escaped into an STF attempt but Axel escapes again. The AA is countered into a PerfectPlex for two but Axel misses a splash in the corner. Cue Ryback with the ambulance and Cena walks towards it, earning a countout at 11:54.

Rating: C-. Cena didn’t beat him, Cena didn’t hit the AA, Cena didn’t get the STF, Cena didn’t kick out of Axel’s finisher, Cena was barely on offense at all. This is how you give someone a rub, unlike last week where it was ALL about HHH. This is a great showing for Axel and something that should have happened last week.

Ryback jumps Cena from behind because he isn’t in the ambulance. He tries to ram Cena through the set like at the PPV but Cena escapes. The AA off the stage doesn’t work either and Ryback bails. Important point: Axel is announced as the winner and poses with his music playing to end the show. Cena even applauds him as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t bad here and there were some good matches, but there was nothing that made me want to see more. That’s the problem with WWE right now: there’s nothing really interesting and everything feels like it’s warmed over stuff that we’ve done a dozen times before. It’s just like we’re killing time to get to something else but there’s no indication that there’s a plan for what that is. I do know however that I can watch people watching the same match I’m watching if I download the App so at least there’s that.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. Langston – Rollup

Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston – Bulldog Driver

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO – Springboard knee to the Head

Fandango b. Wade Barrett – Skull Crushing Finale

Tons of Funk/Great Khali b. 3MB – Splash to Slater

Bella Twins b. Kaitlyn/Natalya – Spear to Kaitlyn

Curtis Axel b. John Cena via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 24, 1999
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the Owen Hart tribute show. The previous night Owen Hart fell to his death at Over the Edge in a botched stunt as the Blue Blazer. That was one of the hardest shows I’ve ever had to review so I know this isn’t going to be easy either. Tonight isn’t about angles or titles etc but about celebrating the memory of Owen Hart. Let’s get to it.

We open with everyone on the stage and in the aisle as you might expect. Big Owen chant starts up. We ring the bell ten times in a moment of silence. The place goes QUIET for this too. Everyone applauds at the end with an Owen chant. We get a video tribute on the Titantron.

Vince narrates and talks about how great a person Owen was outside the ring as well as in it. Owen was a prankster and was more than just one of the wrestlers. He was a friend and a brother to everyone. This is interspersed with pictures of him in the ring and with his family. He was 34 years old.

JR more or less says this isn’t about wrestling tonight and it’s about Owen. There will be ten matches tonight and that’s about it. The ratings for the matches aren’t going to be judged on the normal criteria as that’s not fair in the slightest. Almost all of my criticisms in this shouldn’t be taken as seriously as it’s not like these guys can think clearly for the most part.

First interview is Foley who says that his son’s favorite wrestler is Owen Hart. His son kept getting his hair cut like Owen and Mick was proud of him for it. These aren’t promos and aren’t from characters but rather from the people portraying them. Foley says there’s probably a special place in Heaven for Owen.

Bradshaw talks about how cheap Owen was on the road but he did it because he wanted to retire early and spend time with his family and kids. He hopes Owen’s kids know what a great father they had.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Test

Jarrett says Owen wasn’t a nugget. There’s an address given if you wanted to make a memorial tribute to Owen which would go to the Alberta Children’s Hospital which was Owen’s favorite charity. Nothing wrong with that at all. Jeff hammers away at the member of the Union. Lawler hasn’t said much at all until JR asks him something. Test takes over with a slam. House shows have been canceled apparently. Top rope elbow misses and Jarrett gets a single arm DDT. Jarrett gets caught in the gutwrench powerbomb for two but hits the Stroke and the Sharpshooter ends this in less than two minutes.

Mark Henry reads a poem about dying. All of these interviews are in the back in front of a basic blue screen. He starts crying as he says this.

Droz says that he only knew Owen for about a year but he was the only person that could walk into a locker room and make everyone smile. Owen loved ribbing people no matter what it made him looking like.

Tag Titles: Kane/X-Pac vs. Edge/Gangrel

Kane and X-Pac are tag champions. Rather surprising they would do a title match on a show like this. Kane has the Owen armband on too. Christian is with the challengers here. We don’t know much about them at this point but they fight using the Freebird Rule. Pac and Edge start us off. Edge hasn’t been around that long and is under 26 which is odd as heck to hear.

Pac goes down to a spin kick and Edge takes over. Pac seems a good bit off as you would certainly understand here. Who would have thought Edge would become a far bigger star than Kane? Off to Gangrel and Kane now and a double DDT takes Kane down for about a second. Kane takes over and hammers away on everyone and it’s off to X-Pac. Christian’s interference gets them nowhere so Kane cleans house again. Bronco Buster to Edge and a chokeslam/elevated splash ends Gangrel to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was just a squash for the tag champions so there isn’t much to talk about in it. Of the ten matches tonight, this is the longest at 4:02. Nothing special at all but it’s not supposed to be. I never liked Gangrel though so this was never going to be that much at all.

HHH and Chyna talk about Owen. Chyna talks about a hair thing she and Owen had going on. HHH breaks down while talking but says you never saw bad things out of Owen for the most part. He implies that Owen shot on him at the Rumble one year. This takes awhile to get through.

Dave Hebner tells some Owen stories.

Hardy Boys vs. Kaientai

The Hardys don’t mean much at all and are low level heels with Michael Hayes managing them. Kaientai rushes the ring and it’s on fast. Double teaming to Matt as the foreigners take over to start. Swanton Bomb (not called that yet) to the floor to Taka by Jeff as the Hardys have taken over.

Jeff tries a Phoenix Splash (moonsault with a twist into a 450) but eats canvas. Michinoku Driver gets no cover and it’s a double tag. Funaki and Matt hit the floor and Hayes interferes. Taka takes both Hardys out as the crowd isn’t that impressed. And the Twist of Fate ends Funaki. Nothing match so no rating.

Bruce Pritchard (Brother Love) says basic stuff about Owen.

Dustin Rhodes tells a story about Owen pouring hot sauce in a pot of chili Harley Race made so Harley Race used a stun gun on Owen.

Hardcore Holly vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock outmaneuvers him with ease as you would expect. Holly tries an armbar which gets him nowhere. Cradle gets two for Shamrock. They speed it up and Shamrock takes over. Ankle Lock ends this with ease. Total squash.

Faarooq says they were family.

Test tells a story about doing two shows on one day but the first was canceled due to snow. He’s in sunglasses while he does this mind you which is kind of stupid. Owen prank called him and said that the second show was up to him and the guy said Test says cancel the show. He didn’t find that out until the morning of this Raw apparently.

Billy Gunn vs. Mankind

Billy does his if you’re not down with that, but substituting Owen for “that”. That’s fine….I guess. Ross talks about Owen stealing his hat. Gunn puts Foley in the corner (no one puts Foley in the corner!) and hammers away. Mankind puts him on the floor but has to stop to pull his pants up (thank goodness). Back in and Gunn works on the knee. Apparently Foley has been doing Chef Boyardee commercials. Gunn goes to the floor to get a chair but as he gets back in it’s a Mandible Claw and Billy can’t get back in time and it’s a count out. Another short (understandable) match.

Foley does Owen’s WOO after the match.

Jeff Jarrett, one of Owen’s best friends and former tag champion partner, says that you have very few friends in this company. He had seen Owen recently more often than his family and now he misses his friend. He talks about how great Owen is and how Owen had integrity which is rare in wrestling. Owen made things entertaining and fun. Jarrett promises to tell Owen’s kids how great their father was.

Cole introduces a video about Rock vs. HHH and Austin vs. Taker for the title from last night. Uh…yeah, not something they likely should have done. There was a fast count to take the title from Austin, which apparently was a last second change due to Austin not wanting to wrestle due to the death of Owen. That’s more or less the only storyline stuff you’ll see tonight.

Edge talks about Owen mentoring him in his limited time here in the company. As a lot of people have said, Owen can make people laugh. Edge was in Owen’s last match, a tag match with Edge/Christian vs. Owen/Jarrett. At the end of this you can hear a producer say “thanks Adam” just before Edge leaves.

Acolytes vs. Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown

Henry is Sexual Chocolate here. The Acolytes are in the Corporate Ministry. Faarooq and Henry start and it’s of course power vs. power. Both partners come in and you can tell not a lot of people are interested in this. Farrooq’s thong is sticking out of his tights. JR and Lawler talk about Bradshaw and Steve Blackman getting into an argument at their baggage claim at an airport. Ok then.

Farrooq gets a DDT on Brown for no cover and it’s off to Bradshaw again. Never mind as Farrooq is back in again. We talk about Owen’s funeral a bit as Bradshaw takes over. Brown makes a blind tag and gets drilled. Neckbreaker gets two on D’Lo. Bradshaw accidentally kicks Farrooq and Brown rolls up the future JBL for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match here. The Acolytes would become pawns in the Corporate Ministry thing which broke up relatively in a few months if I remember right. Henry and Brown never went anywhere as they split over Brown trying to make Henry lose weight for the sake of his health.

Pat Patterson misses Owen.

Hardcore Holly says Owen can make people laugh and ribbed a lot of people. Holly talks about Owen putting Holly over in Mobile a few years ago which would be before Holly meant anything (yeah just go with it). Holly didn’t exactly seem the most interested in being here.

Road Dogg vs. Godfather

No match as Road Dogg suggests they open some beers and tell some Owen stories in the back. I can live with that.

Paul Bearer says something that sounded like a poem.

X-Pac reiterates that Owen was a funny guy.

HHH vs. Al Snow

Odd choice for a match here but this is an odd show. Snow is Hardcore Champion. We get the My Time music which is always cool to hear. This is a regular match and not hardcore. They do some fast paced technical stuff to start which is where Snow was a lot better than he was given credit for. After we hit the floor for a bit we go back in and HHH takes his head off with a knee.

HHH hammers away and Chyna gets a shot in as well. The expected dominance begins with a vertical suplex to set up the knee drop for two. Snow gets a clothesline and the headbutts as HHH does a Flair Flop (Ross: Looks like he just got off of Space Mountain.). Snow misses a moonsault and there’s the Pedigree to end it.

Rating: C+. Much better than you would expect here. When Snow kept things calm he was actually really good in the ring. The Flair stuff was really rather funny as HHH was a big fan of Flair and you can tell that. Good little match here and definitely the best one of the night so far.

Road Dogg can barely hold himself together and talks very fast.

Brisco says Owen was a great performer. Owen never cut corners either.

Big Show vs. Goldust

Blue Meanie is with Goldust here. Goldust has black face paint on here. He shoves Meanie into Show here and it’s more or less a handicap match. Show doesn’t seem to mind and a pair of chokeslams ends this in maybe a minute. Show would be world champion at Survivor Series.

Debra cries during her talk, saying that she spent a lot of time with Owen. She talks about how she took Owen for granted a bit because she didn’t think he’d be gone. Owen made her life better. She keeps looking for Owen and it’s weird not to have him around anymore.

Shane talks about the pranking stuff again. He tells a story about Bret and Shane out drinking a bit so they went back to the hotel and woke up Owen. Owen stole their stuff or something the next day.

The Rock vs. Val Venis

Val does his usual intro but says this is about Owen, not him. Very true. Rock has a bad arm from last night. He gets on a corner and does the FINALLY bit. He says tonight he’s here to entertain Owen and throws in some catchphrases. This was more of a Rock promo with Owen being in there just a bit. Val goes for the arm, they slug it out a bit, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow end this in less than a minute.

Ross tries to talk about Owen but he can’t do it. Jerry talks about being in the ring with Owen after he fell last night and says never leave your family without saying you love them.

Here’s Austin to close the show. This was an interesting one as he and Owen had legit issues back in the day, namely Austin not wanting to work with Owen when Owen came back after Montreal due to the botched Piledriver. I can see both sides of it, but this was seen as a lot more of a corporate thing than a genuine tribute. Austin doesn’t say anything but rather toasts Owen, leaving the can in the ring. A shot of Owen on the screen takes us out.

Overall Rating: N/A. This was a very odd show. First and foremost, the emotion wasn’t there as much. I won’t say it felt forced, but I didn’t really seem to care as much about this one as I did the Eddie show. I wasn’t a fan of either guy, but the Eddie show was legitimately hard to sit through at times. This just kind of came and went although it’s a very similar show. I won’t grade it because obviously that’s not the point. However, this was odd for some reason and it’s hard to put into words what that reason it. It was all about Owen, but something didn’t feel right on it. Odd indeed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 2013
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Extreme Rules and we have some major developments. First and foremost, Shield has possession of the US and Tag Team Titles, giving them their first gold and making them look even more dominant than they did before. Cena vs. Ryback went to a no contest after Ryback knocked Cena through the set and neither guy could continue. Also to the shock of no one, Lesnar was made to look like he survived his match against HHH instead of destroying the Game. Tonight we should be able to find out where things are going until Payback. Let’s get to it.

We open with an ambulance driving into the arena with its sirens blaring. Inside of the ambulance is Ryback, now with a Ryback Rules vest. Ryback says that last night he had a no decision in the last man standing match which is unfair. We get a clip of Cena refusing to be placed inside an ambulance, but next time he won’t be able to do that because the rematch at Payback is an ambulance match. Ryback goes on a rant about how the fans have no self discipline and that he’ll win the title next month. This only took like three minutes which was a nice surprise.

Tonight we find out who Paul Heyman’s newest client is.

Wade Barrett/Fandango vs. The Miz/Chris Jericho

Barrett has new music and I guess is still feuding with Miz because he has to feud with someone. Jericho and Barrett start things off with the Englishman being taken down by a dropkick. Chris charges into an elbow to the face and it’s off to Fandango with a clothesline. As Jericho fights back, we get a clip of Road Dogg talking to Kaitlyn on the WWE App. Seriously, WHY DO WE NEED TO SEE THAT? Fandango and Barrett have a small disagreement and we take a break.

Back with Miz fighting out of a chinlock before hitting a hard boot to the head. Miz loads up the figure four but Fandango grabs a mic to say his own name. There’s his music and it’s time to dance. Barrett yells at Fandango as Jericho gets rolling with a top rope shot to the head. A bulldog sets up the Lionsault for no cover. The Codebreaker takes Barrett down again and it’s off to Miz for the figure four and the submission at 8:20.

Rating: N/A. It was long enough to rate but most of that was in a commercial or spent with Fandango dancing. There’s nothing to see here (almost literally) other than Summer’s legs, but at least Barrett was beaten in just a few minutes again right? That’s the important thing at the end of the day.

Post match Jericho and Miz chase Fandango off. Jericho takes Summer’s hand and dips her back before laughing at her and walking off.

Here’s Vickie to tell us that we can vote for who Swagger faces on the WWE App: Great Khali, R-Truth or Randy Orton.

Bryan is ticked off in the back when Kane comes in. Daniel realizes that neither of them are the Tag Team Champions anymore but Kane says calm down. That’s from the guy that said embrace the hate so Bryan doesn’t care. He says he feels lost without his title, but Kane thinks it’s because Bryan isn’t wearing a shirt or pants. They get a rematch with Shield but they have to show no weakness. Bryan thinks that’s an insult to him and an argument nearly breaks out. Kofi pops in to break it up.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil

Before the match, we get a clip from last night of Mark Henry saying he’s going home. They lock up to start with Sheamus shoving Titus down. A shoulder block puts Sheamus down as well though as Titus shows off some power. Sheamus throws him to the apron for the ten forearms before sending Darren Young into the barricade. The distraction lets Titus take Sheamus’ head off with a clothesline and we head back inside.

A standing fallaway slam puts Sheamus down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus fights up and tries White Noise, only to be sent to the floor. He loads up the slingshot shoulder but Darren Young trips him up, giving Titus two. Titus misses a charge in the corner and now White Noise connects. The Brogue Kick finishes O’Neil at 6:29.

Rating: C. This is the kind of stuff they need to do more often. Instead of having Sheamus beat up one of the Rhodes Scholars for the 95^th time, you can give Titus a chance to show what he can do while not wasting someone like Cody or Damien. This way we get a fresh match which was a lot better than I was expecting.

Here’s Heyman to unveil his newest client. Heyman says that the fans are powerless with their booing because last night Brock Lesnar beat HHH inside a cage. HHH will go down in history as a loser to Lesnar so neither of them are here tonight, only it’s Lesnar enjoying the victory. However, it’s now time to do something new. This is something that is going to make the fans set their DVRs and remember this moment fifteen years from now. The newest Paul Heyman guy is Michael McGillicutty, now known as Curtis Axel.

Heyman talks about how this is the same as Brock Lesnar debuting in 2002 and CM Punk being a Paul Heyman guy. He talks about Axel being a third generation guy and being held back by politics so why isn’t he a main event superstar? His name is Curtis after his father and Axel after his grandfather, Larry the Ax Hennig. Heyman introduces him to the crowd but here’s HHH with a rebuttal.

HHH looks at Axel and Heyman while talking about the Kool-Aid that Heyman has whipped up. He tells Axel to let the adults talk and says that he isn’t embarrassed. HHH talks about going to war with Lesnar and how Brock limped away from their fight. It would make HHH really happy to beat up Paul Heyman right now but Axel steps between them. Axel says the game around here has changed and if HHH wants to talk to Heyman, he has to talk to Axel first. HHH slaps him in the face and says it’s Curtis vs. HHH later tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston

Del Rio sends Langston shoulder first into the post and tries for a quick cross armbreaker, only to have Big E. lift him up and slam him down. The hold isn’t broken though and Big E. makes it to the ropes. Del Rio gets it on again from the apron but Langston lifts him up and slams him into the post in an impressive power display.

Back in and Langston bends Del Rio’s back over his knee, only to get caught in a tornado DDT. Del Rio hits the low superkick for two but is sent to the floor when loading up the armbreaker. Back in and the enziguri puts Langston down, only to have AJ throw in the bucket. The distraction lets Langston poke Alberto in the eye and hit the Big Ending for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. And the stupid booking continues. Del Rio wins the #1 contenders match last night and gets pinned in less than five minutes here. How this makes me want to see Ziggler vs. Del Rio again is beyond me, but I’m sure I’m just not smart enough to get it. It’s good for Langston but there was zero need for Del Rio to lose here.

AJ Lee vs. Layla

The Bellas are watching in the back as AJ takes Layla down. Apparently AJ is a rat in stupid looking shorts. Layla kicks AJ down and makes fun of the skipping. A low dropkick puts AJ down but after AJ hides in the corner, she comes out with the Black Widow for the tap out at 1:43.

Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Ryder

This is joined in progress after a bell although it doesn’t seem like we’ve missed much. Rhodes goes after the arm to start as we see Ryback watching in the back for no apparent reason. The release suplex gets two on Ryder but Zack hits his knees in the corner and a middle rope dropkick. Ryder’s Broski Boot gets two but he gets caught by the Disaster Kick for the pin at 2:37.

Post match here’s Ryback to destroy Ryder because he can. He hits a nice powerbomb which could be a new finisher for him. Ryder gets Shell Shocked and thrown into the ambulance for good measure.

Kofi Kingston/HELL NO vs. Shield

Before the match, Shield brags about all the victories they’ve accumulated and how their new titles are proof of how amazing they are. The opening bell is after a break of course. Kofi and Dean get things going with Ambrose taking him down, only to be slapped in the face. A monkey flip and armdrag take Dean down and ew hit a quick armbar. Off to Bryan for some knee drops and a hammerlock. Tag off to Rollins who gets caught in a surfboard position, only to have Bryan stomp down on the legs.

Kane gets the tag and a near fall off the low dropkick. Back to Kofi for an armbar but Seth drives him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. He powers Kofi down in a kind of suplex for two and it’s back to Ambrose for a dropkick and the same result. The Shield keeps tagging quickly as it’s back to Rollins who drops Kofi again, only to be caught in a headscissors.

Kofi makes the hot tag to Bryan who moonsaults out of the corner and hits a running clothesline. Bryan goes up but gets crotched down, but he still manages to block a superplex by Ambrose. The missile dropkick puts Dean down for two and it’s off to the NO Lock. Ambrose gets to the rope very quickly and heads to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the tag off to Dean to continue the beating on Kofi, only for Kingston to fight out and make the tag to Bryan. Ambrose is put in the Tree of Woe and kicked in the ribs, followed by a baseball slide for good measure. Back to Rollins for a buckle bomb in the corner but Bryan is out at two again. Reigns comes back in and runs over Bryan with a clothesline before it’s back to Ambrose for some stomps to the ribs. Dean talks a lot of trash to Bryan but gets punched in the face for his efforts.

Reigns breaks up a tag attempt, only to be kicked away, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. The side slam gets two on Roman as everything breaks down. Kofi and Bryan hit stereo suicide dives on Dean and Seth before Kane hits a running DDT for tow on Reigns. Ambrose suplexes Bryan down on the floor and Seth puts Kofi into the post. Dean tries to jump on Kane but gets caught by an uppercut. Seth breaks up the chokeslam on Reigns with the top rope knee, allowing Roman to spear Kane down for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: B. Good long tag match here which did exactly what it was supposed to do: keep the Shield looking strong heading into the rematches. Seeing them with the gold around them is a great sight as it shows even more how dominant they are. The fact that champions are actually winning is a good sign as well.

We recap the HHH/Axel/Heyman stuff from earlier.

Kaitlyn gets a phone number from the secret admirer but there’s no voicemail on it. Natalya offers to have Khali go sneak around but Kaitlyn says no. Cody walks by with a phone and Natalya steals it, thinking he’s the admirer. Apparently it’s not him as he’s posting pictures of himself on the internet. Didn’t we already eliminate Cody recently?

HHH says he can compete tonight despite the doctor saying he can’t.

Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton

Lawler announces the result and Orton wins with only 72% of the vote. I was expecting a lot higher. Swagger quickly takes him to the mat with a top wristlock but Orton fights up and dropkicks him out to the floor. A clothesline keeps Swagger down and Orton pounds away at his head back inside. Jack fires back with some shoulders in the corner but Randy kicks him in the robs and hits a Thesz Press.

Swagger takes the knee out with a chop block and hits a DDT on the leg before putting on a standing leg lock. Orton fights up and sends Swagger out to the floor, only to have the Elevated DDT broke up with a drive into the barricade. Back in and it’s the same leg lock, only to have Orton punch his way out. He heads up top but gets shoved to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping the leg lock again and sending a charging Swagger shoulder first into the post.

Orton superplexes Swagger down for two and blocks the Vader Bomb with a kick to the ribs. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT, but Jack escapes and hits a high angle belly to belly for two. There’s the Patriot Lock but Orton easily rolls out and hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into the Patriot Lock. Orton finally breaks the hold and hits the RKO for the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C+. This got better towards the end but it was more long than good. The problem at the end of the day is Orton isn’t tapping out to the ankle lock so we were just waiting for him to hit the RKO to end this. It’s a decent match, but man alive they could have cut five minutes out of this with ease.

We look at Ryback’s promo earlier in the night, as well as him throwing Ryder in the ambulance.

Curtis Axel vs. Triple H

Feeling out process to start with HHH shoving Axel into the corner and clotheslining him down. HHH throws him to the floor and Curtis is looking like a jobber so far. Back in and Axel gets in some shots in the corner, stomping the Game down. A dropkick gets one on HHH and an elbow to the face keeps HHH down. Curtis is working on the jaw that was hit by the sledgehammer last night. A middle rope elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up and hits some shoulder blocks in the corner to take over.

The facebuster sets up the spinebuster but instead of the Pedigree, HHH clotheslines him to the floor. Another clothesline puts Curtis down and HHH throws him back in….before not getting back in himself. HHH shakes his head and sits down at the timekeeper’s table, saying that he needs water. Earlier tonight the doctors told him he couldn’t compete because of what happened last night. HHH tries to get up but the doctor comes out and says the match is over at roughly 7:30.

Rating: D+. Erg. Yet again, it’s all about HHH. It couldn’t be something that Axel did to him, but rather HHH overdoing it because THAT’S WHAT HE DOES. Axel looked like a complete afterthought here other than some decent stuff in the beginning. At least HHH didn’t crush him. That’s something…..right?

Overall Rating: C+. There was some good stuff on here including a very good six man tag. However, a lot of the stuff made you want to ram your head into a wall as you wonder what WWE is possibly thinking. I don’t know why they can’t just have Ryback vs. Cena in a wrestling match, but hey at least we can have one of the all time lame gimmicks of the ambulance match.

For fun tonight, I clocked the amount of time spent on recaps and commercials, not counting stuff done during the actual show (such as WWE App nonsense). In total, over a full hour was spent hyping something or recapping stuff from earlier in the show. I understand the commercials, but do we really need to spend almost ten minutes watching stuff we already saw? Good stuff for the most part but there was too much bad mixed in bringing it down.

Results

Chris Jericho/The Miz vs. Fandango/Wade Barrett – Figure four to Barrett

Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick

Big E. Langston b. Albeto Del Rio – Big Ending

AJ Lee b. Layla – Black Widow

Shield b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Spear to Kane

Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Is…….Michael McGillicutty, now named Curt Axel.  Oh I REALLY like this.

And his theme music is a remixed Mr. Perfect theme!

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 1999
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,146
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’ve only got two weeks left before Wrestlemania and the card is pretty much ready to go. Well in the world of logical booking and common sense it is. The Wrestlemania 15 card will change a lot tonight for reasons that I’m sure will make me roll my eyes and want to punch someone in the face over. Also hopefully Paul Wight is dubbed Big Show soon because it’s hard not to call him that. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock and Big Show’s (finally called that) issues. Rock slapped Big Show last night on Heat before Big Show lifted the ring off the floor. Why Rock didn’t just hop out is beyond me.

Here’s Rock to open the show. I love how he holds the belt in his arm like a football. He talks about how Austin has 13 days before the beating of his life, but the fans stop him to say that Rocky sucks. Austin should go lay down on the train tracks because the Smackdown Express is about to run him over. As for Big Show, Rock knew he couldn’t trust him but it’s clear that Austin and Big Show are in cahoots. He wants Vince out here right now or he’ll kick his roody poo candy…..but Rock has to stop to remind the fans that THIS IS NOT SING A LONG WITH THE ROCK!

Anyway cue Vince who looks very annoyed at this inconvenience. He thinks that Rock is cooking a big load of monkey crap because all this Rock stuff is going to the champ’s head. Maybe Dwayne needs a reality check. Vince asks Rock about the stuff the McMahon family has done for Rock’s family and says that the championship belongs to Vince, not the Rock. However, Rock isn’t going to lose that title to Austin. Vince’s family has been looking out for Rock’s family for three generations so he’s going to protect Rock now. He’s brought in Big Show to help Rock and the Corporation and Show has done a lot for Rock already.

This brings out Big Show himself and he’s not pleased with what Vince is implying about him. Maybe Big Show should cash in one of his big checks on the Rock and then use the change on Vince. McMahon says he pays Big Show and that means Big Show does what he says. Show chokes Vince into the corner but Vince says this is what Austin and the people want. Instead, they’re going to get Rock and Big Show vs. Mankind and Austin. Rock and Big Show shake hands,

Some construction guys come out and start building a table in front of the regular announce table. They don’t know why they’re doing it but apparently that’s their assignment.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Val Venis

This is because Venis, the champion, pinned Road Dogg in a tag match on Heat. Trust me: that’s far from the most backwards thing tonight. Road Dogg says he’ll win and become the Intercontinental Champion of the world. Dogg misses a charges into the corner to start and Val pounds away. A spinebuster gets two for the champion as do some elbows. Apparently Venis has guaranteed a win in three minutes.

There’s a powerslam to the Dogg but the Money Shot misses. Dogg starts pounding away and hits the shaky knee drop and a pumphandle slam for two. The construction guys are still working and have a power saw going. A snap suplex gets two for Val but Roadie catches him in a DDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note and I really have no idea why the title change happened. Val wasn’t the best champion ever but he had a feud going on for the title with three other guys, but now Road Dogg is champion. Nothing to see here as the main focus was on the carpenters at ringside.

Rock tells Big Show he can win the tag match by himself.

DX celebrates Road Dogg’s new title in the back. Billy apparently wants a shot.

Here’s Shane to say that beating X-Pac at Wrestlemania will be as easy as 1-2-3. Kid. Eh point for a funny line. Anyway, right now he’s going to challenge the Legion of Doom to a handicap match……and it’s Patterson and Brisco in LOD attire.

Shane McMahon vs. Legion of Doom

Vince is on commentary. This is exactly what you would expect as Shane destroys the “LOD”. Brisco is Hawk in case you were wondering. Both guys get Bronco Busters as X-Pac is watching in the back. Shane hits them both with the European Title and gets a double pin. This was a long joke, not a match.

As the McMahons leave, Undertaker’s voice comes over the speakers and we get a shot of apparently Vince’s house. Taker says a woman is coming home soon. The Ministry is at Vince’s house and apparently they’re trying to get in.

Vince calls his security company but they’re not at the house yet.

Cue JR and Steve Williams. Apparently JR is going to do his own commentary and the carpenters were building him his own announce table. Yes, this is what we’ve spent 20 minutes setting up. The table says JR is Raw.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart vs. Public Enemy

Earlier today the challengers said they don’t want anything handed to them. It’s a big brawl to start and Rocco almost immediately tries to put Jarrett through a table. We hear about people being annoyed at where Public Enemy used to work (both ECW and WCW) as Owen hammers away on Rocco. The champions (Jarrett and Hart of course) split Rocco’s legs before it’s back to Hart to pound away in the corner. Rocco avoids a charge into the corner and it’s hot tag to Johnny. He cleans house and there’s a guitar shot, leading to the pin for Jarrett. This was like 90 seconds.

JR thanks the fans for their support as Jerry and Cole talk about the match.

The cops won’t go to Vince’s house because they think it’s a publicity stunt.

Post break Vince is upset because no one will answer. Shane offers to call his friends to go help but there’s a phone call from Undertaker. Apparently Undertaker asks if Vince knows where his family is.

A steel cage is lowered.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Vince has a meeting with the Corporation.

Mankind is sitting inside a shark’s mouth (literally) and says he’s going to give Mr. Socko a bath with Paul Wight’s saliva.

Mideon vs. Big Bossman

This is inside a cage and Mideon is here all alone tonight. Apparently this is a Hard Time cage match, whatever that means. You win by escape only and Boss Man dominates Mideon to start. A splash in the corner puts Mideon down and Boss Man throws him face first into the cage. Boss Man pulls out a chain and blasts Mideon in the face for good measure. Here’s the rest of the Corporation as the cage door is open. The beatdown is on and the match is again thrown out after about two minutes.

Vince talks to Undertaker, saying that if Undertaker doesn’t leave Vince’s home, Mideon will be destroyed. We cut to a shot of Vince’s house where Taker says his men exist to die for him. Taker says he’s going to do what he has to do and a car pulls up. The feed cuts out and we go to a commercial.

Post break Vince and company are panicking while trying to get someone on the phone.

Now, let’s go to the Playboy Mansion with Lawler getting a tour. If you can’t figure out what’s going on here, you’re in the wrong review. The acting on this is worse than almost anything else I can remember in WWE. The King is thrown out of course.

Here’s Sable to show us the entire Playboy spread. I’m sure. She’s basically in S&M gear here and shows us the pictures. They’re censored of course, making this rather pointless. If the fans want to see the uncensored ones, they have to pay. Anyway, this brings out Tori who now has entrance music. She insists she’s as good as Sable and won’t stand in the shadow any longer. Tori offers to show everything she has. Her voice sounds like it’s coming from a machine. A challenge is made and accepted for Wrestlemania. Tori strips to some very large underwear.

Cops arrive at Vince’s house and look around to see if there’s anything to Vince’s claims.

We go from that to a video on how tough things are on the mean streets of Greenwich, Connecticut, featuring the Mean Street Posse.

Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Hardcore Holly

Gunn is challenging of course. It’s a brawl to start and odds are that’s what we’re going to see for awhile here. Gunn is sent to the floor and Holly pulls out a garbage can for a hard shot to the head. Billy comes back with a whip into the steps for two but a piledriver on the floor is blocked, as it always is. They head inside with Billy breaking a broomstick over Holly’s back. A shot to the throat gets two on Holly and it’s chair time.

Holly comes back with a facejam onto the chair and a clothesline to put Gunn on the outside. Gunn tries a comeback but walks into a drink to the head as we go back inside. A chair to Billy’s head gets two but Holly is thrown onto JR’s table, apparently knocking the signal out. Cole and Jerry can still talk though and they get to call Billy hitting a Fameasser onto the chair for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. So yeah, Russo’s BRILLIANT conclusion to two simultaneous midcard title feuds is to swap the champions out for each other. Gunn would defend the Hardcore Title in a three way at Mania and Road Dogg would be in the fourway. The problem is none of those challengers have any issues with either respective champion, so the matches wound up being worthless. But hey, it’s a SWERVE you see? Who needs logical storytelling when you can have SWERVES?

Vince is told the cops left but gets a call from Undertaker, saying that he’s going to be the father that Vince never could be, or maybe he could just torture her. Who this “her” is hasn’t been revealed yet. Taker’s symbol is burning on Vince’s lawn.

Here’s HHH with something to say. Apparently Chyna has a partially burned retina. HHH is mad that it was his eye that Kane was shooting for, so get out here right now for a burning. Cue Kane and the brawl is on in the aisle. As they fight at ringside, here comes Vince with his head hanging down. Vince wants Kane to try to talk to Undertaker (Vince’s voice is mic’d here but his hands are empty) but HHH won’t let Kane leave. Kane shakes his head no…..and unmasks to reveal Undertaker. The lights go out and Taker says he can get Vince anytime anywhere. Kane’s pyro goes off and his music plays to end this stupid segment.

Seriously, what in the world is going on here? Presumably Undertaker wasn’t ever in Connecticut (remember this show is in California), but we saw him on camera there, as we saw the cop. Even if it does make sense, it’s WAY more complicated than it needs to be, much like this entire angle.

Wrestlemania ad.

The Stooges try to console Vince.

Mankind/Steve Austin vs. Big Show/The Rock

Rock says that he’s going to win at Wrestlemania before we get going here. Mankind gets beaten down before Austin gets here, only to have the Rattlesnake come in and make the save. Austin and Rock get things going with Austin hitting the Thesz Press before he even takes the vest off. Off to Mankind who is punched in the face by the world champion. Mankind comes back with some right hands to the head and the running knee to a seated Rock in the corner.

Back to Austin as Rock is in big trouble. There’s a sleeper by Austin but Rock rams him into the corner for the break. Rock charges into a boot in the corner but rolls to the floor to avoid a Stunner. The champ tries to leave but you know Austin isn’t letting something like that happen. Back in and a bad looking spinebuster gets two on Rock before it’s back to Mankind for his own version of the People’s Elbow. Mankind hits the ropes once too often though, allowing Big Show to kick him in the back of the head. That and a DDT are enough for a two count for Rock.

Off to Big Show for the first time as the fans chant for Austin. Thankfully we don’t have JR on commentary anymore, but it means that Cole and Lawler can talk about how huge a deal that was for Vince. Big Show chokes away with those long legs in the corner as he makes the 6’4 Mankind look tiny. A Russian legsweep puts Mankind down and it’s back to the champion. Austin breaks up a near fall off the People’s Elbow but it’s back to Big Show for more punishment on Mankind.

Show chokes with the ropes as Rock draws Austin in again, allowing for a low blow. Rock brags a bit too much though and gets caught in a double arm DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Austin and Rock freaks. Austin stomps a mudhole in Rock’s chest but has to fight out of a Rock Bottom attempt. Instead it’s a neckbreaker getting two for Austin but everything breaks down. Everyone goes to the floor and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. Rock vs. Austin is always worth seeing and I can’t complain a bit about putting both big matches from Wrestlemania into a tag match like this. It was a regular main event tag match other than that though so it’s hard to complain here. The match wasn’t anything of note and the ending sucked, but the rest of it wasn’t bad. That’s as back and forth as I can get so we’ll say the rating is right in the middle.

Austin and Rock go through the announce table, which means Big Show isn’t doing his job.

Overall Rating: D. This is Russo when he’s getting WAY too much freedom. I felt like I was watching a low budget horror movie here with some screwball comedy thrown in. The midcard title swap makes NO sense and is as stupid of an idea as they could have had. It makes the matches worthless and throws out weeks of buildup. Then there’s the Undertaker stuff which feels like it’s out of a low budget Halloween ripoff. There was almost nothing good here and it’s hard to imagine we’re two weeks from Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole. Jerry Lawler

It’s finally the go home show for Extreme Rules and the main attraction of tonight’s show is that HHH and Lesnar will be face to face. You know, because that hasn’t happened far too often already. Other than that we have Jericho vs. Fandango in a dance off which at least should be funny. Oh and maybe Ryback vs. Cena too if we have time between all the Lesnar vs. HHH recaps and replays. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Ryback beating down Cena with a chair.

Lawler is in the ring to host the dance off. We get clips of Fandango vs. Jericho from Wrestlemania with Fandango getting the pin. Apparently there’s a rematch on Sunday. There’s a wood floor on the mat for the guys to dance on. Fandango is dancing with Summer Rae and Jericho has a woman from Dancing with the Stars as his partner.

Lawler insists that this is NOT a popularity contest and you’re supposed to judge based on their skills only. Fandango insists he didn’t lose to Khali because the fans just didn’t know what they were talking about. Also as long as there’s a Chris Jericho, there’s a better man named Fandango.

Jericho talks about all of the contests he’s won in WWE history that didn’t involve wrestling and says he’s winning tonight. Then he’ll win on Sunday as well, and then there’s going to be a song about Jericho dancing all over Fandango’s face. Fandango and Summer go first….or rather they’re about to when Fandango says cut the music. Apparently the fans were being too loud and he can’t focus. They get started and a few seconds in Summer twists her ankle.

The pro dancer goes to look at it as does the trainer but Fandango starts to leave. As Jericho is looking at Summer, Fandango jumps Jericho and beats him down. Fandango beats him down for a good while, whipping Jericho into whatever object he can find. He picks up a piece of the wooden floor and blasts Jericho in the face with it for good measure. To the shock of no one, Summer is fine and walks off.

Tonight it’s Shield vs. Cena/HELL NO in an elimination match.

We see the end of Raw from last week again.

Ryback vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder now has long tights. As the destruction is going on, we get a commercial for the WWE App where Del Rio is having an interview right now. What also is going on right now is a Shell Shock to Ryder for the pin at 1:04. Total dominance.

We get a clip of HHH being attacked by Lesnar last year and breaking his arm. According to Cole, this was “when HHH was COO of the company.” Didn’t the sign on his office last week

say he was still COO?

Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players

Tensai crushes Darren to start but gets kicked in the face by Titus. Cole talks about all the countries watching the show tonight so he doesn’t have to talk about the match. Titus misses a running charge into the corner and it’s off to Brodus to clean house. As Clay knocks Darren down, Titus rolls up Brodus for the pin at 1:38. Replays show that Darren hit Brodus in the throat with his hair pick to allow the pin.

We look at the clip from Smackdown where Swagger gave Ziggler a concussion, meaning the world title match is in jeopardy.

Here’s Teddy to make the announcement about the World Title, but Colter and Swagger come out and say Swagger should be made champion. AJ and Langston come out to argue about Ziggler keeping the title, but Teddy cuts them off. Ziggler won’t be losing the title, and Swagger vs. Del Rio on Sunday is now an I Quit #1 contenders match. Also tonight it’s Langston vs. one of them, with the opponent being decided by a poll on the WWE App.

Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Ambrose vs. Kingston for the US Title is official. Damien says he won’t be singing a song tonight because Kofi’s song is foolish. Sandow pounds away to start and hits his rapid fire knees to the chest followed by the Wind-Up Elbow for two. The announcers are of course talking about comic books. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch by Damien but Kofi reverses into one of his own. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the Boom Drop, only to miss the cross body out of the corner. Sandow hits a running flip neckbreaker for two but Kofi pops up and hits Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 2:28.

Here’s Mark Henry with a strap to call out Sheamus and induct him into the Hall of Pain. We get some clips of how this match is set up, including Henry pulling the semi trucks on Smackdown. Henry tells Josh Matthews to put the strap around his wrist before shoving him down. He easily touches all four corners and lets Josh go, saying that he feels very generous.

Sheamus comes out and says Henry isn’t the brightest man in the world. He doesn’t want to get in the ring at first but Henry calls him a coward and that’s enough to get Sheamus to come out. Henry won’t let him in with the strap, but Sheamus pulls one of his own out from under the ring. Sheamus beats on Henry enough to send Henry running off.

We get a clip of Lesnar attacking Vince many months ago.

Trailer for 12 Rounds 2, starring Randy Orton.

We look at a clip of the opening segment again in case you’ve forgotten about it already.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

This is a rematch from Main Event where Orton won. Cesaro pounds away to start and has to be pulled off Orton in the corner. Off to a chinlock for a but but Orton comes back with a kick to the face and the powerslam. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT into a rollup for two, only to stand up and get caught in the RKO for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. Last week Cesaro talked about being the best in the company. Within the next week, he’s been pinned by Orton twice, one of those times being in three minutes and ten seconds. But hey, I’m sure this somehow makes him a bigger star right? This show is REALLY flat tonight but we are getting a lot of matches at least.

The Miz vs. Heath Slater

Feeling out process to start but Miz hits a quick sunset flip and backbreaker for two. Mahal trips up Miz and Slater gets a big boot for two. A neckbreaker gets two for Slater and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Miz comes back with a forearm and a boot to the face as we get ANOTHER commercial for the WWE App. A top rope ax handle puts Slater down but he grabs the rope to avoid the figure four. Slater goes up but gets thrown down onto the rest of his band and injures his knee in the process. Back in and the figure four ends this at 4:14.

Rating: D. I like Miz in general, but this figure four stuff is just nonsense. It doesn’t give him credibility because Flair “gave” him the move and it doesn’t make us care about him any more. He had a good finishing move and won the main event of Wrestlemania with it, but we MUST praise Flair somehow because….I have no idea why we have to pay tribute to him so often actually.

Clip of Alicia Fox and Layla at a cancer walk.

Back in February, HHH beat up Lesnar with a chair. They’re doing the whole history of the feud tonight to show us just how important it’s been.

John Cena/HELL NO vs. Shield

This is elimination rules like a Survivor Series match. The tag champions are defending the titles against Rollins and Reigns in a Texas Tornado match. Ambrose and Kane get things started with Kane pounding Dean into the corner. Bryan comes in with kicks to the chest and a painful looking arm hold. Off to Rollins vs. Cena with John putting on a front facelock as we take a break.

Back with Shield beating on Bryan in the corner as the Shield makes their traditional quick tags to pound away on him. Ambrose stomps away but the bearded one gets up and fires back, hitting a running knee to the ribs and making the tag to Kane. Kane cleans house with clotheslines all around and a sidewalk slam gets two on Ambrose. A DDT gets the same result and there’s the top rope clothesline. He loads up the chokeslam but has to shove Ambrose and Rollins to the floor. Kane follows them out and winds up getting counted out for an elimination.

We take another break and come back with Reigns pounding on Cena in the corner before it’s off to Rollins to take out Cena’s bad leg. Cena finally gets in a shot to the face and dives over for a tag off to Bryan. Daniel immediately hits a suicide dive onto Reigns and a missile dropkick on Rollins for two. Ambrose sneaks up on Bryan and the bulldog driver is enough to put Bryan out, making it 3-1 with Cena in trouble.

John charges right at Ambrose but gets caught by all three. Cena fights them off and gets down to Rollins alone in the ring. The champ initiates his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle, only to have Ambrose break it up. Cena clears away Ambrose and Reigns before hitting the AA to eliminate Rollins. Ambrose charges into the AA but Cena spears him down, although he draws a DQ for shoving the referee. Dean covers him for two as we’re down to one on one. The STF goes on but Rollins and Reigns come in for the DQ at 23:21.

Rating: B-. I was thinking for a minute there that they were going to let Cena beat all three guys in a row but thankfully they didn’t let it happen via submission. At the end of the day though, Cena did beat the Shield via pinfall when it was 3-1 so bet on people complaining about that. Still though, good long match here which is what we needed on this Raw.

Post match the Shield hits the TripleBomb and leaves, allowing Ryback to come out and hit Cena’s leg with a chair.

Video on HHH vs. Ryback from Wrestlemania.

Swagger wins the poll by a wide margin of 65-35.

Big E. Langston vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger pounds away to start but Langston shoves him into the corner with raw power. Jack fires off some right hands and tries for the Patriot Lock, only to be kicked away as we take a break. Back with Langston hitting some backbreakers on Jack for two before Swagger fires off some shots to the ribs.

The Vader Bomb gets two but Langston pops up and runs Swagger over. A superplex puts Swagger down for two more but Jack escapes the Big Ending. Swagger hits a chop block and there’s the Patriot Lock, but Langston makes the rope. Jack is backdropped to the floor but manages to clothesline Langston over the barricade for the countout at 10:00.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Swagger likely would have beaten Ziggler here for the same result because that’s what happens in this feud. The I Quit match likely would have happened had it not been for the MITB cash in and it could be an interesting match, although I can’t picture Swagger winning.

Post match Del Rio runs out but gets put in the Patriot Lock. Ricardo tries to help him but gets kicked in the head, allowing Del Rio to put Swagger in the cross armbreaker for a tap out. Langston breaks it up for absolutely no apparent reason, but Del Rio clears the ring.

Natalya vs. AJ

Kaitlyn and the Bellas are on commentary while Horny and Khali are standing off to the side. Kaitlyn gets another gift as the match is ignored yet again. It’s a Simpsons trivia game or something like that but we have to talk about clothes as AJ is sent to the floor for a hard shot from Natalya. Another one seems to knock her out but after sending AJ back in, she locks in an octopus hold called the Black Widow for the tap out from Natalya at 3:10.

Jericho says he’ll teach Fandango to dance Jericho style on Sunday.

Time for HHH and Lesnar’s showdown, which is the real main event tonight. A cage is lowered for some extra atmosphere. HHH talks about how he’s learned to hate this but he feels at home in the cage. He wants Heyman and Lesnar out here right now, and of course what HHH wants, he gets.

Paul and Brock come out but HHH tells them to shut up. Heyman talks about how they’re not allowed to say hate on WWE programming but Heyman will do it anyway. Paul talks about how HHH is going to have to lose in the cage and face everyone after it whether he likes it or not. HHH again says bring it on but apparently Brock doesn’t fight for free.

That’s fine with HHH because he’s figured out why Lesnar won’t fight. See, HHH has done the unthinkable and beat Brock while knocking him out. I guess Extreme Rules from last year is erased from history. He talks directly to Brock and says bring it on. Lesnar walks to the ring with Heyman saying don’t do it. Lesnar slowly climbs the steps, puts one leg in the ring, and actually gets inside. As is usually the case, HHH is more than capable of fighting Lesnar one on one and sends him flying through the door while looking like it’s not a problem at all. Oh and Brock looks scared.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was ALL about HHH vs. Lesnar. Yeah a few other things got some time, but it was all revolving around the one underlying theme of HHH vs. Lesnar. This feud has been every bad thing about HHH rolled into one: the matches aren’t as good as they’re made out to be, his stories dominate everything else, and they go on WAY too long. At the end of the day, people just do not care about seeing these two fight anymore. It should have been a one off match at Summerslam with HHH going away for months and never mentioning Brock again.

Instead it’s gone on EIGHT MORE MONTHS and yeah, Lesnar will likely win on Sunday, but the loss will wind up being all about HHH and Lesnar will be none better off as a result. But hey, HHH gets to headline another show right? Lesnar could have feuded with ANYBODY else in the company and given them something out of it, but instead HHH needed to occupy a year of his time.

As for the rest of the show….it wasn’t easy. The problem on this show anymore is that WWE is so obsessed with everything they can put around their product (the App, the charity stuff, videos, unfunny commentary, celebrities etc) that they ignore the in ring action and the stories. Shield is the only interesting thing right now, as Ryback vs. Cena is feeling more and more worthless every second they’re together because Cena isn’t losing the title to him, period. This show felt way too long and it was mainly because of the HHH vs. Lesnar overkill.

Results

Ryback b. Zack Ryder – Shell Shock

Prime Time Players b. Tons of Funk – Rollup to Clay

Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – Trouble in Paradise

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

John Cena/HELL NO b. Shield – Cena last eliminated Ambrose via DQ when Reigns and Rollins interfered

Jack Swagger b. Big E. Langston via countout

AJ b. Natalya – Black Widow

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,497
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

we’re inching closer to Wrestlemania now with only Raws to go before the big night. At the moment though, the main story continues to be Vince vs. Undertaker with Austin and Rock off in a corner doing their own thing to get ready for the biggest match of the year. You can clearly see what the card should be for Wrestlemania and the build for it hasn’t been bad at all. Let’s get to it.

Oh and for you history people: this show was taped on Tuesday as was almost every other Raw. Before the show, Sunday Night Heat was taped as well. During that show, Indian wrestler Tiger Ali Singh would ask fans if they would do various things for money, including blowing their nose in an American flag. One fan agreed to do so for $5000 but instead used Singh’s Indian flag. Singh attacked him and was belly to belly suplexed. The fan’s name: Kurt Angle, in his WWF TV debut.

We open with a recap from Heat last night with Rock calling out Paul Wight until Austin’s music hit. Rock sent Show to head him off but Austin snuck through the crowd and Stunned the champ.

Here’s Rock to open things up. He has a problem with Paul Wight (whose name needs to change already) and we get a clip of the Stunner from last night. Instead here’s Vince who doesn’t look happy either. He tells Rock to stop airing corporate laundry in public, or else certain corporate members might start wondering what the Rock is smoking. Vince blames the fans for these circumstances for putting such pressure on the Rock. He assures Rock that Wight is a card carrying member of the Corporation in good standing.

Rock believes what Vince is saying but there have been far too many coincidences involving Paul Wight for there to be nothing to all of this. Rock doesn’t like the cards that Wight is carrying, and here’s Wight himself. Wight says that it was Rock who sent him into the aisle to head off Austin, leading to the Stunner. Maybe it’s not worth all of Vince’s money. Maybe he should give the money back and take the Bull and his horns and shove them…..somewhere that we don’t get to hear because Mankind’s music interrupts.

Apparently Mankind is officially the second guest referee in the main event of Wrestlemania. Did I mention that Russo was booking things at this point? Mankind says that if Rock and Wight want to get it on, he’s more than willing to be the referee for the fight. If you smell what the Sock is cooking that is.

Vince says Mankind isn’t quite the guest referee at Wrestlemania yet. Instead Mankind has to face Austin first (no mention of Mankind winning) right here tonight with Paul Wight as guest referee. Did I mention WWF was OBSESSED with guest referees at this point? Vince offers Rock a spot on commentary for the match. We’re still not done though as here’s Austin with something to say.

Austin says that everyone is out here making rulings which don’t mean anything to him. He doesn’t care about any of these people because no matter who the guest referee is going to be at Wrestlemania or tonight, he’s walking out of Philadelphia with the WWF Title. Simple but effective promo here.

The Ministy is here en masse and looking for the Boss Man. They destroy some jobbers in the locker room.

Austin is talking to Mankind and reiterates that he doesn’t care who the referee is.

D’Lo Brown vs. Owen Hart

This is a street fight because what would a match be without a gimmick right? For the first time we hear about a battle royal on Heat the night of Wrestlemania with the final two men getting a tag title shot. That’s how bad the tag division was at this point. Brown pounds away with what looks like a street sign to start but gets caught by a spinning heel kick to give the Canadian control. A piledriver down onto the sign gets two for Hart.

They head to the floor with Brown being sent into the steps. King is talking about Salty Balls from South Park as they head up the ramp. Brown finally gets in a low blow and a clothesline to put Owen down. They’re on the stage now and Owen comes right back down with a DDT onto the steel. Back to the ring they go with Brown shrugging off the DDT and pounding away with the sign. Both guys find broomsticks from somewhere and ram them together, which puts both guys down for some reason. Jeff Jarrett comes out with a guitar but Brown intercepts it and knocks Owen out cold for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on this kind of stuff with Brown getting up from a piledriver and DDT onto steel like they were nothing of note at all. That was really distracting in what was just a five minute match. I’m assuming Henry was injured at this point because having it as a handicap feud isn’t quite working at the moment.

There’s a sign in the crowd of D’Lo posing on the ropes and his head slides back and forth. That’s rather awesome.

Taker sends the Ministry out to find the Boss Man.

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Hardcore Holly

During the entrances we’re told about Hardcore Holly vs. Snow vs. Road Dogg at Mania for the Hardcore Title. Remember that match. Holly pounds on Roadie to start but Snow tags himself in, ticking off the champion. Snow gets in some shots of his own but Holly tags himself right back in. Now Snow and Holly get in a fight over who gets to beat up Road Dogg, allowing Roadie to tag in Gunn. The hardcore guys get in another fight and Snow hits Holly with Head. A spike piledriver on Holly ends this quick.

Post match the lights go out and the Ministry arrives to beat up all four guys. Taker says tonight, Boss Man will come face to face with his maker and the lord of darkness.

Jim Ross gives Steve Williams a pep talk, explaining how great Williams is.

Here’s JR to the arena with a bag in his hand. He asks Cole to get in the ring and says he has a revolutionary idea. JR talks about how this is sports entertainment and not wrestling. He pulls out a red gi, pants and a mask. Apparently this is the gimmick that was created for Steve Williams and that’s a bunch of nonsense. As for Cole, JR talks about how he was the first man to come to Cole and ask if there was anything he could do. Cole never thanked JR for this and now Cole sits there like a little pretty boy. Apparently Cole tried to steal JR’s job so JR kicks him low. Ross gets back on commentary now as this stupid angle continues.

Vince and the Stooges tell Terry Taylor that Cole is off for the rest of the night and to go remove JR from commentary. The Stooges are assigned to watch the Ministry.

Terry Taylor comes out to remove JR from commentary as Ross goes on a rant about wanting to make a living. JR makes Red Rooster jokes and Steve Williams comes out to back JR but he leaves anyway. This is such a stupid angle. Taylor and Lawler are on commentary now.

Ryan Shamrock is on Goldust’s lap in the back and Blue Meanie is jealous of her.

The Stooges go looking for the Ministry in druid attire.

Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Shamrock meets Goldust in the aisle and rams him into the steps before going inside the ring. Now we go in for the bell and Shamrock pounds him into the corner before getting up an elbow to stop a charging Goldust. Goldie gets in a shot to the head and loads up Shattered Dreams, but he sees Meanie kissing Ryan on the floor. The distraction lets Shamrock hit a belly to belly suplex for the fast pin. This was again, an angle instead of a match.

Post match Shamrock beats up Blue Meanie as Goldust escapes with Ryan.

Shane, Test and Chyna are walking in the back.

Brisco and Patterson find some Ministry members and Brisco wants to go in and beat them down.

Test vs. X-Pac

Shane jumps in on commentary. Test LAUNCHES Pac over the top rope to start in a very impressive power display. Back in and Test rolls away from the Bronco Buster but Pac puts the brakes on before crotching himself. A big boot takes Pac’s head off as Shane is his usual VERY excited self. The full nelson slam gets two for Test and it’s off to the chinlock. Pac fights up but gets taken down by a very quick neckbreaker for two more.

We get the stupid “dive into a raised boot” spot from Test and both guys are down. Back up and a quick clothesline gets two for Pac, but he walks into a gutwrench powerbomb for two. Pac comes back with a spin kick as HHH stops Shane from interfering. Chyna gets taken out as well and there’s the Bronco Buster to Test. The melee lets Shane hit Pac with the European Title to give Test the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and thankfully we didn’t have to see X-Pac do the giant killer thing here again. This set up Shane vs. X-Pac even more which wasn’t all that bad of a feud for the most part. Considering Shane wasn’t a wrestler, he did quite well in this role. Also his commentary here was somewhere between amazing and really annoying but it worked well enough.

Post match Chyna lays out HHH with a clothesline.

HHH says he’s sick of this and he’s going to drag Chyna to this ring and humiliate her right here tonight.

Patterson and Brisco (with what sounds like Vince’s voice giving them instructions) barge in and find Godfather and his ho’s. Comedy ladies and gentlemen.

HHH is hunting for Chyna.

Steve Blackman vs. Godfather

Before the match, Godfather offers Blackman a choice of either having the match or leaving with the Ho’s. Blackman leaves with the girls. That’s more interesting than the match would have been anyway. Droz tries to run in but gets beaten down…..and here’s the Ministry to take all three guys out. Taker asks how many people have to be attacked until Boss Man shows up. There will be a sacrifice tonight.

Here’s Chyna to the ring to call out HHH. He’s here almost immediately but as HHH gets to the ring, the lights go out and here comes Kane. HHH goes after Kane but Chyna grabs the Game’s arms. Kane loads up a fireball but hits Chyna by mistake. HHH immediately looks after her but Kane shoves HHH away and covers up her face. EMT’s get beaten up as well.

Post break Kane is holding a towel over Chyna’s face in the back.

Tori vs. Luna Vachon

Are you a big fan of someone in the WWF? In just two weeks, you too can be in a wrestling match on Monday Night Raw! Sable is on commentary here. We get some clips of an autograph signing of Sable’s Playboy and there are a lot of people in line. Make no mistake: she was a BIG deal back then. Sable brings King a copy of the Playboy and he freaks out. Luna spears Tori down to start and drops her with a DDT for no cover. Terry doesn’t get to look in the magazine as Luna chokes Tori enough for a DQ. This was another 45 second “match”.

Post match Sable rips off Tori’s Sable shirt. She also takes the Playboy back from King.

Boss Man shows up and is met by Taker but the Ministry surrounds him for the beatdown. WWF does realize that this is the Big Boss Man right?

Post break the Ministry drags Boss Man to the arena and sacrifice him, meaning they tie him to Taker’s symbol. It looks like a crucifixion which is still pretty creepy stuff. Taker says the Corporation will fall until there is only one left and then SHE will fall as well. Boss Man breaks off the symbol and the Corporation comes out for a brawl with Paul Wight cleaning house. The police finally show up and Taker puts his hands out to be arrested, lighting his symbol on fire in the process.

Post break Taker is put in a cop car with Vince talking trash.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Rock is on commentary and Wight is the referee. Austin and Wight argue a lot but Austin catches Mankind coming in and they head to the floor. Mankind whips him into the steps to take over as the fans go nuts for Austin. Steve goes face first into the announce table but moves before Mankind can dive off the middle rope to the table. Austin knocks him off the announce table and stomps a mudhole as Rock freaks out. They head back inside with Mankind hitting something resembling a Stunner onto the top rope to put Austin down.

Austin comes right back and crotches Mankind against the post before they head back inside. Mankind apparently is rocking the testicular fortitude tonight because the crotching seems to have had no effect. He pounds Austin right back down to the floor but misses the running knee into the steps. Instead it’s Austin ramming Mankind face first into the steps before heading back inside for a sleeper. A quick reversal by Mankind is countered into a jawbreaker and both guys are down.

Austin misses the running crotch attack in 619 position and an elbow drop gets two for Mankind. Off to a front facelock of all things, which might be the only instance of such a move in this era. Mankind shifts it over into a chinlock instead but Austin fights up into a double clothesline.

Steve gets up first and stomps a mudhole in Mankind before hitting the running crotch attack for two. Mankind puts him down with the double arm DDT and here’s Socko. The Stunner is countered with an elbow to the face and there’s the Claw with Austin on the apron. Wight counts INSANELY fast and Austin is counted out, making Mankind the second referee at Wrestlemania.

Rating: C. Not their best work here as this was mainly random brawling before the screwy ending. This was another match where the ending didn’t make much sense at the time as there’s no reason for the Corporation to want Mankind to be involved in the main event of Wrestlemania at all. I’m sure we’ll get a convoluted answer soon enough though.

Post match Wight chokeslams Mankind as Vince comes out to…..do something that he doesn’t get to do as Austin gets in as well. Wight gets between the two of them, allowing Rock to jump Austin and run. Kind of a lame ending segment here.

Overall Rating: D+. As was the case last week, it’s very clear that Austin vs. Rock is kind of happening in the background of Undertaker vs. McMahon, which would go on for months after Wrestlemania ended. The Boss Man was a horrible choice to put in that spot, especially when you have people like Paul Wight and Kane to fight Undertaker. Kane feuding with HHH makes sense, but for goodness’ sake Wight is fighting to be a guest referee later in the show. Not a good show but at least the world title got some buildup.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 2013
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Extreme Rules and tonight the main story is that Lesnar, Heyman and HHH are supposed to be in the building. It’s looking like that’s going to main event the PPV and I don’t think anyone really cares to see that. Other than that we’ve got more with Ryback vs. Cena and likely the triple threat match for what used to be the Smackdown World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with the voiceover talking about Ryback walking out on Cena as well as Heyman and Lesnar at WWE headquarters today with the promise of footage later tonight.

Here’s Cena to open things up, saying that he’s way better than he was last week. He says he’s going to answer the fans tonight using the method of ancient master of Chinese Arts Daniel Bryan: YES it was a bad idea to wrestle hurt last week, NO it won’t stop him from fighting at the PPV, YES he’s mad at Ryback, YES he’s ready for Ryback to do the Fandango, NO the picture of he and Betty White is Photoshopped.

Cena says he’s the WWE Champion and it’s his job to get in the ring every week and perform. He hasn’t been 100% since 2002 but it’s not going to stop him from defending the championship. Cue Vickie to the arena for the first time in awhile that I can remember. She says that the PPV is going to be extreme, like with the cage match between HHH and Lesnar and the triple threat ladder match. Vickie brings out Ryback to get his input on the stipulations for the WWE Title match.

She asks both guys to say what kind of match they want. Cena says how about the winner is the one who runs out of the arena screaming, but that’s giving Ryback too big of an advantage. We could have a whine-off but Ryback would be too big of a favorite there too. We even get a Ryback impression from Cena, talking about international phone cards and fried green tomatoes. In short, Cena doesn’t care what kind of match it is.

Vickie tells off Ryback for walking out last week but says he gets to pick the stips for the title match. Ryback talks about how Cena’s Achilles heel is hurt but his real Achilles heel is his pride. It’s going to be last man standing at Extreme Rules and that’s about it. Ryback just leaves with nothing physical.

We hear about Lesnar and Heyman invading WWE headquarters. It comes off like a breaking news report from a news channel.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow

Orton beat Sandow on Smackdown but after the match Sandow hit him with the Terminus, meaning we need a rematch. On the way to the ring, Sandow gives us a song, set to the beat of Voices and talking about how Orton never changes his facial expressions, is covered in oil and is an ignoramus. That was great. Orton jumps Sandow quickly and loads up the Elevated DDT, only to have Damien head to the floor. Back in and Orton hits the backbreaker and the circle stomp as we take a break.

Back with Sandow holding a chinlock but Orton standing up to escape. Some knees to Randy’s ribs set up the Wind-Up Elbow for two for Damien. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights up and hits some clotheslines. The powerslam has Sandow in trouble but he gets an elbow up out of the corner. Damien goes up but jumps into a dropkick from Randy, sending Sandow to the apron. There’s the Elevated DDT and the RKO ends this at 9:26.

Rating: C-. So to clarify: Orton pinned Sandow clean with the RKO on Friday and tonight he beat Sandow clean with the RKO. I’m so glad we got to see this match twice in a row with the exact same thing happening. That’s what I mean when I talk about lazy booking by WWE. We didn’t gain anything from this, we didn’t get anything new, and the writers get to use the same idea without thinking. They benefit while we get bored by these same two matches. Lucky us.

Big Show knocks out Randy as he leaves.

Here’s Jericho with what looks like a new light up jacket. He talks about Fandango, complete with a ton of plays on his name. Jericho has set up a table of judges at ringside tonight and it’s going to be him and Tons of Funk scoring Fandango’s match.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

The brunette dancer is back instead of Summer Rae now. Fandango’s entrance gets a five out of thirty from the judges. Fandango jumps Truth as he starts and dances a bit before putting on a cravate. Truth comes back with the front suplex and ax kick to send Fandango to the floor. Some splits from R-Truth combine for a score of 62/30. Fandango walks out of the match at 1:36. This was an angle instead of a match.

More pictures of Heyman and Lesnar at WWE HQ.

We look back at Smackdown with Bryan losing to Ryback and then being attacked by Shield later in the night.

Bryan says he’s fine physically. Make that fine actually (not a typo). He talks about how Shield is all about justice, which means he’s going to challenge Ryback to a rematch. Ryback pops up immediately and says no to the challenge. Kane pops up and says Ryback can fight him if he wants and I think the challenge is accepted.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title of course. Del Rio takes him down with a quick headlock and a hard kick to the back for two. Dolph comes back and stomps away in the corner before hitting a running splash for two. Alberto hits a running kick to the head/shoulder in the corner for two followed by the forearms to the back and the Backstabber. The champ falls to the floor and here come Swagger and Colter. Jack and Langston get in a staredown but Jack walks over to the announce table as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock but Del Rio fighting up into a sunset flip for two. Dolph hits a dropkick for two of his own before dropping a bunch of elbows. Off to a rear naked choke by Ziggler but Alberto escapes and launches the champion into the air. Del Rio misses the running kick to the head in the corner but lands on Dolph, seeming to injure the champ’s head in the process.

Ziggler goes up for something and Del Rio looks like he tries the running enziguri again, only to hit a running fist instead. A reverse superplex to Ziggler puts both guys down and a hard kick to Ziggler’s face get two. The cross armbreaker goees on but an AJ distraction lets Langston break up the hold. Del Rio is launched into Swagger for the DQ at 14:53.

Rating: C+. This didn’t quite do it for me and the booking of the feud continues to bring everyone down. Swagger looks dominant tonight but on Friday he’ll likely lose a match while one of the other guys gets to look strong. This “everyone loses to everyone” booking isn’t doing anyone any good and I know WWE will be SHOCKED when Ziggler wins and still isn’t bought as a legit champion.

Post match Swagger runs over Langston and beats up everyone in sight with the ladder.

We recap Ryback and Cena’s segment from earlier.

More Lesnar photos.

Video on WWE’s deal with Yahoo.

Kaitlyn gets a text from the secret admirer with the other Divas being happy. It turns into a series of Simpsons references until Khali comes up. He’s going to be sent undercover into the locker room to find out who the guy is. They leave and the Bellas show up, seeming very happy.

Shield vs. Usos/Kofi Kingston

Jey and Ambrose start things off with Dean putting Jey into the corner with some right hands. Jey fires back and takes him down before Rollins tries diving off the top, only to jump into an uppercut. Rollins drives Jey into the corner where Reigns gets in some right hands of his own. Off to a chinlock by Rollins as Jey gets beaten down. Reigns comes in and chokes away before it’s off to Rollins for another chinlock. Jey finally gets up and hits a Samoan Drop, allowing for the hot tag to Kofi.

The Shield is knocked to the floor and there’s the Boom Drop on Ambrose for no cover. Kofi misses a charge into the corner but hits some pendulum kicks to Ambrose and Rollins. The springboard cross body gets two on Dean as everything breaks down. Reigns ENDS one of the Usos with a clothesline as Kofi goes up, only to be shoved down by Rollins. Ambrose’s falling bulldog is enough to pin Kofi at 6:45.

Rating: C-. Shield does not need to be used for matches like this one. They’re WAY too important for squashes over a team that shows up once every three months and Kofi. Speaking of Kingston, why did he have to get pinned here? That’s what the Usos are there for, but instead we need to pin the US Champion right? There were NO other options whatsoever in this match at all.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder

Cesaro looks like a typical Swiss man now and has thankfully stopped yodeling. Ryder gets hit with the gutwrench suplex and pounded down into the corner. Zack comes back with the middle rope dropkick and that’s about it for the comeback. The Neutralizer ends Ryder at 2:02.

Post match Cesaro says no one can hold a candle to him either in NXT or WWE. He gets Orton on Wednesday so I wouldn’t put much stock into his speech.

Now we get security footage of Lesnar and Heyman arriving at WWE HQ. A lot of these shots are the same ones we’ve gotten all day. Apparently he destroyed HHH’s office.

Here’s Heyman via satellite to show us the footage he shot of Lesnar at WWE HQ this morning. They go inside and see a Sheamus poster and some Andre the Giant stuff (“He’s been dead for 150 years!”) which doesn’t impress Heyman. Heyman and Lesnar go to the fourth floor (executive offices of course, complete with the full elevator ride) and get annoyed at all the poster of WWE Superstars with none of Lesnar in sight. Heyman: “Does anyone work here on Mondays?” They go into HHH’s office (Heyman to the secretary: “You’re not Stephanie. You’re much prettier.”) and assault some assistants.

Lesnar puts the replica World Heavyweight Title on his shoulder and puts his feet on HHH’s computer. Now he breaks the computer in half with his bare hands as this just keeps going. Lesnar takes the sledgehammer off the wall and destroys the desk and some chairs. Lamps are smashed and down goes a TV. This has been going on for like ten minutes now. Heyman leaves a business card and that’s about it.

Heyman talks about how HHH earned that because HHH hit a Pedigree on Heyman a few weeks ago. He holds up the crushed replica world title which is all destroyed from the hammer shots. Heyman talks about how he’s going to make Lesnar destroy HHH in the cage and it’s going to BRUTAL. Cue HHH to the arena as Heyman freaks out. HHH responds to all that by making bald jokes. HHH says he’s extreme too because he was in the Attitude Era. I hate that that time period is such an official concept now.

HHH talks about how his other office is here in the ring and it has a great view. He became a man in this ring which is something Lesnar never did. If Lesnar wants to prove something, he can come say it to his face. In this office, they fight back. That’s how this WAY too long segment ends: with a line that lame.

AJ/Bella Twins vs. Funkadactyls/Kaitlyn

AJ and Cameron start things off with Cameron being taken down with ease. AJ toys with her before putting on a cravate to slow things down. The crowd is eerily silent. Off to Kaitlyn to stare down AJ and get slapped in the face. The Bellas walk away, allowing Kaitlyn to spear AJ down for the pin at 2:23.

Here’s Henry with something to say. He says that he doesn’t have to pretend to be tough like Sheamus does. We get a clip of Henry attacking Sheamus a few weeks ago before Mark challenges Sheamus to a match at Extreme Rules. He promises to make people remember the match and here’s Sheamus to interrupt.

Sheamus says we only saw part of the clip and shows us him getting in cheap shots on Henry last week. Henry says Sheamus better be serious at Extreme Rules but asks to fight right now. Sheamus is ready to go but gets interrupted by Wade Barrett, who apparently is Sheamus’ scheduled opponent tonight.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

This is joined in progress with Barrett holding a chinlock. Henry is on commentary as well. Sheamus fights up and hits a running knee lift as Henry says Cole is “ate up with stupid.” There are the ten forearms to the chest and Barrett is knocked to the floor. Henry gets off commentary and Sheamus teases throwing Barrett at him but stops, sending Henry falling to the floor.

A Brogue Kick lays out Henry and Sheamus goes back inside with the top rope shoulder for two on Wade. Barrett gets a quick small package and the Winds of Change for two each. The Irish Curse stops the comeback dead but the Brogue Kick misses. A big forearm gets two for Barrett but the Bull Hammer is caught in White Noise. The Brogue Kick ends Barrett at 4:45.

Rating: C. Both midcard champions job in the same night again. The match was the usual physical fight between these two but Barrett jobbing has become an obvious ending to their matches. Sheamus continues to look great in the ring as he has a style that is very easy to adapt to and can work well with any kind of opponent.

Post match Henry whips Sheamus with a belt, meaning we’re likely heading to a strap match. Henry: “I’m gonna beat you like you stole something!”

Jericho vs. Fandango next week.

Now we look at the Lesnar footage AGAIN.

Ryback vs. Kane

They’re doing the whole monster vs. monster stuff here with Ryback slamming Kane down and clotheslining him out to the floor. Kane comes back with an uppercut, only to be thrown into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ryback holding Kane in a front facelock before hitting a Thesz press on the big red machine. Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner but walks into a spinebuster. A suplex blocks the Shell Shock but the top rope clothesline is broken up twice. Ryback pulls Kane off the top and into the Shell Shock for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as Kane barely ever got anything going. This was a step above a squash, but that’s exactly what Kane is perfect for. Kane can lose this same match thirty weeks a year and he’s still going to be at the same level. Those kind of guys are so valuable to WWE and they’re so hard to get your hands on. Kane and Jericho are certainly up there and they’re very big assets for WWE.

Post match here comes Shield but Bryan comes out to even the odds. Ryback bails so here’s Cena to make it 3-2. Ryback comes back in with a chair but blasts Cena in the ribs with it and lays him out to end the show. He never touched Shield but it didn’t come off like a conspiracy.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty good show….until the Lesnar segment. That segment not only ticked me off, but it dragged this show WAY down. He destroyed the office and nothing more. Why is that supposed to make me want to watch these two fight on PPV or make me care about their match whatsoever? That story dominated the entire show and I can’t think of a single person who is dying to see them fight AGAIN. They’ve been feuding for a year now and odds are it still doesn’t end inside the cage. That’s all Lesnar has done for an entire year now and it’s such a waste of his time and talents.

As for the good stuff…..pretty much everything else. Well not the Ryback/Cena stuff which is showing how far Ryback has fallen since August and is clearly just a filler feud until Shield goes after the world title. Other than that though…..and the midcard champions both jobbing…..I was liking the show. Sheamus vs. Henry is a well done feud, the triple threat is at least getting some decent matches, Cesaro looks dominant again but he gets to lose to Orton on Wednesday…..dang maybe this show wasn’t all that great. The HHH vs. Lesnar stuff is just dreadful though.

Results

Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow – RKO

R-Truth b. Fandango via countout

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Usos – Falling Bulldog to Kingston

Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ/Bella Twins – Spear to AJ

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick

Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 1999
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,566
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week later here in McMahon Land and the saga between Vince and the Undertaker continues. We’re also rolling towards Wrestlemania with Rock vs. Austin firmly in sight. Austin is back at the show tonight after doing media stuff last week. The card should start to fill out a bit more now that we’re only a few weeks away from the big show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bearer giving Vince the teddy last week and Undertaker setting it on fire.

Here’s the entire Corporation to get things going. Vince talks about the end of the show last week and the one moment where he lost control. The fans aren’t pleased with seeing Vince tonight. He talks about how much he loves his family and how the fans don’t get that because they’re amoebas. That kind of embarrassment will never happen to him again, ever. Tonight, Undertaker gets a surprise as well which we’ll find out later. As for Kane, he broke a promise to Vince last week by losing. Therefore, Kane is fired.

The people from the sanitarium come out to get Kane but Chyna goes to the floor with Kane and beats up all the guys in the white coats. Apparently this is a thank you to Kane for saving her last night on Sunday Night Heat. Chyna says Kane can be an asset to Vince because she can control him. She’ll accept responsibility for him and he should get Austin tonight. If he loses, he can be fired. Vince says deal, but Chyna’s job is on the line too.

This brings out Mankind who still wants to be guest referee in the main event of Wrestlemania. He can prove his skills by refereeing the Kane vs. Austin match but Vince doesn’t seem interested. McMahon offers to let Mankind referee tonight’s main event if he can beat Undertaker first. Mankind accepts but there go the lights. Cue Undertaker’s voice which says he’s coming for Vince.

Ryan Shamrock is seen adjusting her short dress while leaving a locker room.

Austin is told he’s facing Kane and he doesn’t seem to care.

Intercontinental Title: Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Val is defending and this is supposed to have Billy Gunn as well but he’s got a lung condition or something like that. Val charges right in at Shamrock and Goldie jumps Ken from behind for some double teaming. Cue Ryan Shamrock as Ken gets caught in a spinebuster for two by Val.

Goldust takes Val into the corner and rubs his own chest, only to get caught by a low blow from the champion. Now it’s Val getting double teamed down in the corner but as usual Goldust and Ken get in a fight over who gets to cover. Goldie is sent to the floor but as Ken is about to finish off Val, Goldust kisses Ryan. Ken goes after him and both guys are counted out. In a triple threat?

Rating: D. As usual, more matches used to advance angles instead of the other way around for Russo. The idea is that Ryan has had moments with everyone and the question would be who would she side with at Wrestlemania. It’s a decent enough story that would be copied with AJ Lee in the year 2012, but things will get messed up soon.

Post match Billy Gunn runs out and jumps Venis.

Jim Ross is back from his bout with Bell’s Palsy (facial paralysis) and will return tonight.

Here’s JR (nice ovation) to interview Bart Gunn. JR asks him about his Brawl for All at Wrestlemania….before complaining about Bart not looking straight at him. Ross’ mouth is a bit messed up and he goes into a rant about being told he couldn’t be on TV because his face was messed up.

Bart wants to know what this has to do with him and JR rants more about how Bart Gunn knocked out Steve Williams. Steve and JR are friends so it was a big embarrassment to Ross. He shoves Bart and demands respect before slapping Gunn in the face. Gunn shoves him into the corner until Williams shows up to destroy Bart. Yep, they’re turning JIM ROSS heel. This would happen more than once.

D’Lo Brown is talking to Ivory in the back about something.

Tag Titles: HHH/X-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

DX is accepting an open challenge and if they win the titles, Debra will disrobe. HHH and Pac clear the ring to start until we get down to Jarrett vs. Pac. A big heel kick takes Jeff down for no cover and it’s off to HHH. HHH misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Owen. Things are moving very fast so far here. A facebuster puts Hart down but Jeff breaks up the Pedigree. Back to Jarrett who misses the running crotch attack in 619 position but Owen comes in with a sleeper to keep HHH in trouble.

A jawbreaker breaks up the hold and there’s the hot tag to X-Pac. The X-Factor gets two on Jeff as everything breaks down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Jeff followed by another X-Factor but Debra distracts the referee. Debra gets knocked off and Shane McMahon pops in to send Pac into the steps. Owen breaks up a Pedigree as Ivory shows up. The match is finally thrown out due to all the insanity.

Rating: C-. I was digging this until the WAY overdone ending. It’s a four and a half minute tag match and we had two run ins and manager interference. Was there any need to have anything other than a big brawl to end the match via DQ after Debra got on the apron? Shane and Ivory could have easily done their run ins after the match, but why have a match when you can have multiple angles?

Post match D’Lo Brown jumps the tag champions and Ivory strips Debra down to her underwear.

After a break Debra challenges Ivory for later tonight. As in an actual match. I’m shocked too.

Here are Luna and Tori who are apparently friends now after last week. Luna says that now Tori is a fan of hers and Luna is a fan of Tori. They’re standing up for the fans that Sable has scorned to get to the top and tonight, Luna is bringing Sable back down to earth. Sable comes out and Tori turns on Luna about two minutes after joining her. Sable powerbombs Luna for good measure. Tori offers Sable a high five and Sable walks away.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Road Dogg

I miss these random title matches. They give you a reason to watch because while a title change isn’t likely, you never quite know. Rock pounds away to start but walks into a dropkick out of nowhere. Dogg gets a boot up in the corner but gets caught in a DDT for two. Here’s Paul Wight for no apparent reason as Rock keeps pounding Dogg down. They head over to the announce table and Rock does some commentary. Apparently when you check into the Smackdown Hotel you get a complementary fist in the mouth.

Back in and a Russian legsweep gets two for Rock and Paul Wight adds in a headbutt for good measure. A Samoan Drop stops Roadie’s comeback bid but Rock misses a charge into the corner. Dogg hits his usual stuff like the Juke and Jive followed by the shaky knee drop. Not that it matters though as it’s Rock Bottom and the Elbow for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here but Rock was entertaining as always. I liked the idea here of throwing Road Dogg out there to make Rock look good. It’s not like Road Dogg loses anything from this because Rock is at a far higher level than he is, so why not give us something simple like this?

Post match here’s Al Snow (“A schizophrenic psychopath from Lima, Ohio whose hobbies are Hardcore Title matches and needlepoint!”) with a chair. He complains about Dogg making him job, but Dogg takes the chair away and cracks Snow in the head with it a few times. Hardcore Holly, the Hardcore Champion, comes out but gets a chair to the head as well. Dogg leaves, saying they can meet him in the parking lot if they like.

Chyna gives Kane a pep talk.

Dogg is in the parking lot with a broken broomstick and is waiting for Snow and Holly.

Here’s Public Enemy dressed up as the Brood for some reason. They say they’re not afraid of the blood….and there go the lights. They come back on and Grunge is alone in the ring minus Flyboy.

We go to the back where Dogg and Holly are fighting. After a break they’re still fighting with Holly throwing Dogg into whatever he can find at the moment. This isn’t a match of any kind. You can hear a bell ringing in the arena and apparently a match started while this was going on.

Droz vs. Steve Blackman

This is a kendo stick match, meaning you win by knocking your opponent off your feet. They hit each other a few times and head to the floor before hitting each other again. Droz is knocked down but there’s no referee. Instead Droz knocks Blackman down and wins in maybe 40 seconds. Was there a point to this at all?

Dogg and Holly are on a set of stairs now with Holly in control. They head up the stairs and Dogg is thrown out the door. Cue Al Snow to jump both guys and they brawl into the street (after looking both ways of course).

Video on Shane McMahon being tough.

We see Rocko strung up with blood all over him. As in I thought he was wearing a red shirt until I saw a few spots of white.

Here’s Vince for commentary for the next match. As he sits down, he casually throws out that it’s Undertaker vs. Boss Man inside Hell in a Cell at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Vince still won’t answer what the bear means. They trade right hands in the corner with Undertaker hitting a running clothesline to take over. Mankind avoids an elbow and pounds away but misses a charge into the corner. Taker works on the shoulder which hit the post but as he launches Old School Mankind grabs the Mandible Claw.

They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent into the steps. Mankind hitting a running knee to slam Taker’s head into the steps and Vince sounds like a thirteen year old opening his first Playboy. Vince gets up for some reason, allowing Taker to get in a chair shot to Mankind’s back. We have a double countout apparently.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad for a four minute match and this pairing is always worth seeing even in the short form. Again though, this was all about the story going on instead of the match which gets really annoying to see after awhile. On top of that, Boss Man vs. Undertaker did nothing for anyone and the announcement didn’t help anything.

Post match Undertaker goes after Vince but Boss Man comes out with a nightstick shot to break up a chokeslam through the table. The Ministry runs him off so Mankind gets chokeslammed.

The Corporation bails out.

Ivory vs. Debra

Jarrett and Hart are ejected before we get going. Ivory immediately chokes her down but here are Terri and Jackie for the DQ. Jackie lost to Ivory on Heat last night.

Kane vs. Steve Austin

If Kane loses he and Chyna are fired. Austin goes right after him to start and they slug it out in the corner. A backdrop puts Austin down before he can even get out of his vest. Kane charges into a boot in the corner and Austin wraps the knee around the post. Austin stays on the leg and the fans are WAY behind him here. Kane guillotines him on the top rope and gets two off a DDT.

The match slows down a bit as Kane pounds on Austin’s chest on the floor only to be sent into the steps. Chyna hits Austin from behind and Austin goes after her, only to catch a charging Kane in a backdrop over the barricade and into the crowd. Well you knew we were getting some brawling in an Austin match. Back to ringside and Kane rams Austin back first into the post before dropping him face first onto the barricade.

Chyna gets in some shots before Kane slams Austin face first into the steps. We head back inside and a backbreaker gets two for Kane as the crowd has calmed down a good bit. Austin tries a sleeper but Kane is just too tall. Off to a bearhug by Kane but Austin punches out. The Stunner is countered and the referee goes down, but Austin escapes the tombstone bid and hits the second Stunner attempt.

Chyna breaks up the cover at two but Kane breaks up a Stunner on her. A belly to back suplex puts Austin down and here’s Paul Wight. The top rope clothesline hits Austin for two and Kane pounds away in the corner. The crowd is getting back into it again and there’s a low blow to Kane. Austin stomps a mudhole and hits the Thesz Press as Wight slides in a chair. Two chair shots to Kane’s head puts him down but that’s not a DQ. Chyna hits Austin low but that’s not one either. Now Kane holds Austin for Wight but the giant kicks the smaller giant by mistake. Austin walks out to end the show and Kane/Chyna keep their jobs.

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun main event as these two had some decent chemistry together. The problem for them is they never really got a chance to work together all that much as their most famous match is a gimmick match and all about drama instead of action. I likes this a lot more than I thought I would have.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of the adage about Russo being true: when he has the talent to work with and someone to stop him from charging off a cliff, he would put together some very entertaining television. There were a lot of stories going on here and the build for Wrestlemania is starting to come together. The one guy being left out of it though is Austin. He hasn’t interacted with Rock in weeks, he wasn’t here last week and he was thrown into the main event tonight as a warm body for Kane and Chyna’s issues. That’s a really strange use of the top guy in the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at: