It’s another week closer to Judgment Day and we have two Raws left before we get there. Tonight we’ll likely hear more about the main event for the PPV which is Austin refereeing Taker vs. Kane for the vacant world title. You know that’s going to rival a Thesz vs. Gotch classic for basic wrestling skills of course. Anyway there isn’t much else announced for that show so let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Taker and Kane breaking Vince’s leg/ankle last week.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

Pac is defending and he’s coming out before JR can even welcome us to the show. Brown charges right into a spin kick but he comes back with a powerslam. Legdrop hits Pac and a leg lariat gets two. Off to the chinlock and Brown yells at the crowd. He always was good at that. Someone serves Chyna with papers and Henry is smiling.

The champ fights out of the hold and hits a belly to back suplex. His elbow misses and Brown hits one of his own off the middle rope for two. Side slam gets the same. The Low Down misses and it’s slugout time. Pac speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster, but Henry trips him up and rams Pac’s back into the post. That and the Low Down gives us a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it was more about building up the DX problems as Chyna didn’t help Pac out for no apparent reason. Brown would hold onto the title for awhile until the title fell into obscurity. You know, as in more than it already was at this point. I’ve always been a fan of Brown’s work so I can’t complain much here. Decent opener.

Vince is in a hospital bed and complaining about getting the wrong kind of juice. OH IT’S THIS SHOW!!!

The Oddities played football earlier today.

Here are the Headbangers who apparently aren’t scheduled right now. They call out the Insane Clown Posse and I can easily see why I’ve never heard them cut a promo before. The Oddities come out but the Headbangers want the Clowns.

Headbangers vs. Insane Clown Posse

Please make it short. The Oddities have to go to the back and the Clowns come in. I’m not sure if this is an official match or not. Shaggy takes a flapjack and it’s a double suplex for Jay. There’s no tagging so far at all. There’s a Super Bomb for Shaggy and Thrasher gets a chair. The Clowns get laid out with chairs and it’s a big beatdown until the Oddities make the save.

We see Austin looking for Vince last night with an ax in his hand. He took over the production truck and hacked the feed to Vince’s hospital. I mean that literally.

Austin had a metal CD. Ok then.

We get a clip from last week with the Zamboni attack and the announcement of the PPV main event. Vince called the Brothers handicapped (one physical and the other mental) and Taker threatened them. Vince flipped them off and the Brothers destroyed his leg.

We go to Vince’s hospital room and the nurse says he has a large visitor. Vince says no visitors and it’s Mankind. Vince’s heart rate monitor beeping in time with his panicking is great. Mankind gives him candy and balloons and has a visitor. It’s female entertainment. “She does a trick with a dog that you won’t believe.” It’s Yurple the Clown. Vince being given stickers and balloon animals is great. Foley says he has another visitor and it’s….MR. SOCKO!!! Vince finally snaps and throws them out.

Sable joins in on commentary.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

Sable says she wants the Women’s Title which would come soon enough. The whole Vince is Sable’s Boss thing is pretty much forgotten at this point. Vader pounds away on him and they head to the floor where Mero hides behind Jackie. Back in and Vader runs Mero over, sending him right back to the floor. After a Jackie eye rake it’s back to the ring and Mero takes over with his usual stuff. Vader beats him down again and a splash gets two. Jackie dives onto Vader and gets caught, but a Mero low blow and the Marvelocity (Shooting Star) gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Mero was only there as a surrogate for Jackie and Sable. That would tend to be the case for awhile as Mero never really meant much after this. This was also Vader’s last match on Raw which is kind of pitiful but he was so far past his prime in WWF that it never quite clicked.

Jackie gets on the mic post match because I haven’t suffered enough so far. She challenges Sable who gets in, but Mero distracts her so Jackie can jump her. Jackie cuts Sable’s hair.

William Regal makes his own orange juice.

Edge vs. Owen Hart

We hear about Edge’s younger brother, which is a new revelation. His name is Christian. Owen comes out in street clothes. Last night he tried to walk out on a match with X-Pac but got rolled up anyway. He’s distraught because of the injury to Severn last week. He says he’s sorry but he can’t wrestle tonight. Owen walks out and it’s a forfeit.

Post break Owen says it’s over and he’s done before leaving the arena.

Kane vs. Ken Shamrock

See, THIS is something you don’t get today. These guys have very different styles and it’s cool to see them clash. Today almost everyone but two people have the same style so you can plug in anyone. It’s something that really is missing today. Shamrock is on the verge of turning heel but he’s still a tweener here. He uses his speed advantage and fires off some strikes to take over early.

Shamrock goes for the leg but gets caught in a powerslam when trying a cross body. A dropkick staggers the big man but his rana is caught in a powerbomb. Kane chokes him down and chokes on the mat before a powerslam gets two. Off to a chinlock which Shamrock fights out of but here’s Undertaker to watch. Shamrock fires off a bunch of stuff but it takes the rana to put Kane down. Not that it matters as Kane is up to his feet first. Kane goes up top but Undertaker gets up and crotches him, allowing a belly to belly superplex to give Shamrock the pin.

Rating: C-. Like I said the conflicting styles were a nice touch here. That’s something you NEVER get anymore. We don’t have many power monsters and even fewer MMA style guys, so it’s nice to see something like this. Think about it: how many people work the same exact style today and how uninteresting does it get after awhile?

Val Venis finds Terri’s wedding ring. Guess where it was.

Val Venis vs. Gangrel

Val talks about Magic Johnson before the match. He starts fast with a powerslam and some knees to the ribs followed by the bump and grind. JR takes a shot at WCW by saying this is action and not two 45 year olds on the microphone. Val hits a big boot and here comes Edge. He gets in Christian’s face but Gangrel runs out to DDT Edge on the floor. They stomp Edge and the match is thrown out. Oh ok Val wins by countout. That makes sense.

Val and Terri make out in the ring but a movie usher shows up. He hands Val a gold envelope, the contents of which freak Val out. Cue Goldust’s music and the man himself on the screen. Goldust’s world premiere is next week apparently.

We get a clip from last night of Austin yelling at Shane on Heat.

Vince is in the hospital and wants another nurse and something for his pain.

Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett

They go to the mat and it’s a nice technical exhibition to start. Snow is like screw that and catches him with the trapping headbutts. He knocks Jarrett to the floor and grabs a chair but Jeff knocks him down. Slaughter comes out here, demanding the Head from the referee. Snow hits a kind of Air Sabu move against the barricade but as Al goes after Slaughter, Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. Back in the ring Snow hits an enziguri to come back and goes up but Slaughter crotches him for the DQ. Fun while it lasted but this was about Slaughter vs. Snow, which isn’t interesting at all.

Road Dogg vs. Mark Henry

There’s no Billy here so Roadie brings in a blowup doll. Lawler gets the papers that Chyna was served earlier and it’s a sexual harassment by Henry. Road Dogg takes over to start and hits the shaky knee for two. He walks into what would become known as the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the advantage. Brown trips up Dogg and a legdrop to the back of the head half kills him. Chyna comes out and drills Brown, allowing Pac to kick Henry low and hit an X Factor for Dogg to get the pin. Another short match.

Henry chases after DX with a chair post match.

Vince is in the hospital and wants more juice.

We go to McMahon for an interview but he isn’t ready, so we look at Austin’s Zamboni stuff from last week again. We get the attack on Vince as well.

Vince is getting hit blood pressure taken when Austin, dressed as a doctor, jumps him. Austin pounds on his broken ankle, hits him with a bedpan, and zaps him with the cardiac paddles. To end it he anally rapes Vince with an IV. To quote Punk: “SECURITY AROUND HERE SUCKS!”

The Rock vs. The Undertaker

They have a lot of time for the main event here. Rock is on fire and this is one of his biggest matches to date. He’s still listed as part of the Nation here but it’s really just in name only at this point. Taker immediately jumps him and the fight starts fast. The jumping clothesline puts Rock down again as it’s been all Taker so far. Out to the floor and Rock reverses a whip into the steps.

Here comes Kane to watch the match ala Undertaker in Kane’s match earlier. The distraction alows for a powerslam from Taker to stop Rock cold again. Henry and Brown come out but get glared away by Kane. Taker starts in on the arm and here’s School. Off to the chinlock which is quickly broken by a belly to back suplex. Rock gets thrown to the floor and the beating is on in the aisle.

This has still been almost all Undertaker and it continues to be as he slams Rock into the steps. Back into the ring and Rock’s comeback is easily stopped by a right hand. Sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Rock. Again he fires off punches but Taker easily clotheslines him down for two. Rock grabs an O’Connor Roll for two and a clothesline for the same. Big boot takes Rock down for another near fall.

Taker loads up Old School again but since you can’t hit the same match twice in a match, Rock arm drags him down. JR declares Rock the #1 contender for some reason. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for the Not Yet Great One. Tombstone is escaped into a side Russian legsweep and the People’s Elbow connects. The referee gets crushed in the corner and everyone goes down. Time for Kane but Undertaker sits up. Kane kills Taker in the back with the chair and the Rock Bottom looks to finish but there’s no referee. Kane slides the chair in and a Tombstone onto said chair gets the pin.

Rating: B. These two don’t do that well on PPV together, but man they were cooking here. Rock was on fire at this point and more or less would stay on fire for the next two years or so. Seeing him get beaten down and then fight back time after time, including hitting a solid Rock Bottom, only to get screwed was a nice ending to a good match. That’s how you give someone a rub by the way.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re clearly running on all cylinders at this point and it’s clear that WCW having stuff like Warrior vs. Hogan is merely a band-aid trying to stop the tidal wave that is Raw. With Rock on the verge of being revealed as the Corporate Champion and Mankind’s rise up to the top of the company, this is going to get great and it’s going to do it in a hurry.

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This was a request and I believe it’s because the show is in MSG which is the major focal point of the show. I remember watching this live and reading a comment that said the star of this show was the arena itself, which is something that went well. The main event is a triple threat tag with Jerishow, DX and Cena/Undertaker. I remember liking this show at the time so let’s get to it.

We open with Roddy Piper in the back. Apparently we’re doing the Pit back there tonight with actor….Luis Guzman. He was in Boogie Nights and Traffic. Ok then. Piper talks about his Guzman’s upcoming movie which has Mr. T. in it. Guzman says Mr. T. isn’t in the movie. Piper says of course he isn’t BECAUSE PIPER DESTROYED HIM. What is with Piper’s obsession with Mr. T.?

Piper says he has the Iron Chef here but it’s the Iron Sheik and the Bellas instead. Guzman mentions Hulk Hogan and Sheik erupts. And now Sheik has the old school WWF action figures. That’s it, but Piper and company say “Live from New York it’s Monday Night Raw!” Ok that was good.

This is the final Raw before Survivor Series apparently.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

Miz is champion. He asks why the fans hate him. They love the World Series Champions, the New York Yankees. Miz says they bought the Series and the fans boo him out of the building. Apparently Miz didn’t know who his opponent was coming into this. Sherri Shepherd is here and for some reason WWE still thinks most of its fans are impressed. They have the old school entrance with the curtain across from the cameras. I love that.

Miz has a quick advantage to start but MVP knocks him to the floor to take over. Back in….or never mind as MVP gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade. Back in for real this time and MVP hits a flapjack to start coming back again. Ballin Elbow looks to set up the Playmaker but Miz counters, only to get booted down for two. Miz hits a boot to the ribs in the corner and the Skull Crushing Finale finishes MVP.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it wasn’t anything of note. Miz would be on the rise very soon and would be world champion in just over a year. MVP was a guy I never got into for the most part and his face run was probably the least interesting time of his WWE stretch.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella

This feud went on for awhile. Good pop for Santino here. He comes out in a New York Rangers jersey which he removes to reveal a Giants jersey. Make that a Knicks jersey (booed as they were awful at this point), followed by a Jets jersey, a Mets jersey (mixed reaction), a Phillies jersey (Philadelphia team), and finally the World Champion New York Yankees. The first move comes 90 seconds in with Chavo hitting Three Amigos. Santino keeps rolling away from the Frog Splash and here’s Horny in DX gear (remember that) for a distraction. Santino gets the rollup pin. Funny stuff.

Here’s DX who sucks up to the MSG crowd. HHH is sad because they’re not allowed to schill their merchandise. Shawn: “That’s right. We can’t talk about our new book which is available at WWEshop.com.” Shawn throws a free copy to Sherri Shepard, because I guess she can’t afford it. Anyway we need to talk about the triple threat with Cena this Sunday for the title. Cena has been saying that DX is going to implode on Sunday but that isn’t going to happen.

It doesn’t matter which one wins the title because they’re a unit. Shawn says they’ll compete at Survivor Series, but they can’t be torn apart. That brings them to Hornswoggle for some reason. HHH calls him out because he doesn’t like that Horny is wearing DX gear. HHH says they might let him join so here he is. Horny runs around doing crotch chops but HHH says come over here. He asks if Horny (and New York) is ready. They set to do the catchphrase, but HHH Pedigrees Horny instead. This would eventually set up the Little People’s Court fiasco.

Horny goes out on a stretcher. I’m still not sure what the idea here was.

We get a REALLY cool video on the history of WWF in Madison Square Garden. We see every major moment other than one that I’m sure you know of. Find this as it’s really worth seeing.

Piper is in the back and sounds ridiculously drunk. Jericho comes up and they trade a few jabs. Jericho wants something special so Piper brings in Masters to do the Pec Dance. The Bellas come in and take him away.

A guy from 30 Rock who is World Champion of Everything is guest ring announcer for this.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Melina is champion and Alicia won some battle royal. Alicia says to announcer her as the next Divas Champion. He says no and it’s now a lumberjill match with the members of the Survivor Series teams as the girls on the floor. Melina does her Matrix move and gets sent to the floor where the heel chicks beat on her. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Fox. And never mind as a sunset bomb gets the pin for Melina.

Usual post match brawl ensues.

Here’s Piper in the ring to a fairly mild reaction. Oh MAN is he drunk. He rambles on and on about all of the legends he fought (Hogan and Andre get the biggest pops with Andre’s being bigger). Piper talks about wanting one more match with Vince and mentions being fired after doing an interview on Real Sports. Vince’s music hits and it’s EASILY the loudest pop of the night.

Vince makes fun of Roddy’s dyed hair and agrees that Piper has done some awful things here in the Garden. The worst of them all though was to show up here tonight though. Vince makes some old jokes about Piper and says that if he beat up Piper tonight, his father and grandfather would be embarrassed. Piper says nothing of note and this is going WAY too long.

Vince says he’s looked better than every superstar he’s ever gotten in the ring with but there’s no match tonight with Piper because Vince is retired from in ring action. Piper says he’s been in 7000 car crashes and 30 matches. “Switch those around.” He goes through all the stuff he’s survived and says he can beat Vince. Piper wants it tonight and this FINALLY ends. I have no idea what they were going for here.

Here’s Sheamus who has only been on Raw about a month at this point. We get a clip of him retiring Jamie Noble two weeks ago. He issues an open challenge for tonight and no one answers. Sheamus goes to the floor and kicks Jerry Lawler’s head off for no apparent reason. This never really went anywhere.

Things stop for awhile for Lawler to be taken out. Striker takes over on commentary and we run down the card for Sunday.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

This is joined in progress after a break. Swagger hit a wheelbarrow suplex to take over during the break. Apparently this is a rematch from last week or the week before. Bourne counters a suplex into a sweet rollup for two. After Bourne gets in a tiny bit of offense, Swagger hits a powerslam out of the corner and the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the pin. Basically a squash.

Here’s Piper in the ring for the fight with Vince. Instead he gets Orton who is all evil. Orton says if it’s a fight Piper wants, he can have it. Randy kicks him in the big gut so Piper punches him in the face. That’s about it for Piper’s offense and the beating begins. Orton loads up the Punt but has to stop because Kofi is late getting to the ring. Allegedly that right there is why Kofi’s push more or less stopped ice cold after this show.

Kofi comes out and destroys Randy who tries to run away. They go into the crowd and the beating is on. Orton takes over and they head back to the ring. Remember that this is just a big brawl segment, even though there’s a referee out there. Kofi avoids the Punt and pounds Randy down again.

They head back into the crowd and referees try to break it up which doesn’t work at all. Kofi is like screw that and takes Orton up into the tech area. He puts Orton on a table after a HUGE shot with some metal thing. Kofi goes up onto a wall and hits a HUGE Boom Drop through Orton and the table. This was AWESOME but because of that mistimed Punt to Piper, Kofi is now the tag champion partner specialist.

Cena, the champ at this point, says that history is about to be made in MSG again. Undertaker would be a great partner, but he’s kind of hard to talk to. Cena starts talking about the handicap match on Sunday for the title before being handed a note saying that it’s a triple threat match instead. Of course he’s ready in case HHH or Shawn wants to ask. For some reason he says it’s true that the Ghostbusters once saved this city from a giant marshmallow man. After Sunday, they better still be friends because they’ll need a shoulder to cry on.

Big Show/Chris Jericho vs. John Cena/Undertaker vs. D-Generation X

Cena is Raw Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown Champion, Jericho/Show are tag champions, and DX is there because they’re DX. Also Taker faces Jericho and Show in a triple threat match on Sunday for his title too. You can only tag your partner here. Oh and it’s WCW rules, meaning three people in the ring at once. Cena, Jericho and Shawn get us going. Jericho tags out almost immediately, as does Shawn. Cena makes it 3-3 so it’s HHH, Taker and Big Show.

HHH and Taker double team Show with Taker clotheslining him to the floor and kicking HHH’s head off. HHH takes Taker down with a spinebuster and tags off to Shawn, but Taker sits up before Shawn is on his feet. This is their first time in the ring together since Mania. Speaking of that match, Shawn tries to skin the cat but Taker catches him in Tombstone position. Big Show of course breaks it up because that’s what you do in triple threats instead of letting someone be knocked out.

Off to Jericho who tries the Lionsault but Shawn counters. Jericho counters the counter into the Walls but Taker grabs Jericho by the throat. Cena tags himself in to a loud boo and HHH comes in as well. John stares HHH down and it’s time for a slugout. Show breaks that up with a double chokeslam but here’s Taker to punch him down. Jericho comes in to try to steal a pin on Cena but it only gets two. Little stat: other than in a handicap match, Jericho has a total of one victory over Cena: in their first ever match.

Shawn comes back in and drills Jericho before hitting the top rope elbow for no cover. It’s pretty clear that this is less of a match and more of a way of throwing everyone in there at once to give the crowd a good time, which is fine. Cena loads up Shawn in the AA but HHH tags himself in. Jumping knee to the face and the spinebuster put Cena down but Show breaks up ANOTHER finisher. Shawn kicks his head off for his efforts but walks into a Codebreaker. Chokeslam to Jericho sets up the AA to HHH for the quick pin.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything of quality and it really wasn’t, but seeing these guys in the main event at Madison Square Garden is just cool. The reactions were great too, and it tied into the PPV also with all six guys in the two main events being here. What more can you ask for?

Undertaker tombstones Cena post match, which has yet to lead anywhere but it might be used to set up a Mania match in the future.

Overall Rating: B. This show definitely falls more into the category of fun rather than good. The wrestling is just ok, but for the most part this was all about the Garden rather than the show anyway, and that’s just fine. It’s holy ground for WWE and for them to pay tribute to it like this is nice to see. Not a great show or anything, but it was fun and it set up Survivor Series pretty well, which is the most important thing. Good stuff.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested.

It’s Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn’t mean they put on a horrible show which they’ve been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.

The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.

Here’s Show to open things up. He says that while he’s a giant, he’s a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn’t have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.

Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that’s all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that’s it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.

Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.

Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it’s ok and that Riley won’t be his opponent. There’s a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger get things going and it’s off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.

Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it’s off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting more and more worthless. It’s obvious that Truth is there as a replacement for Bourne and that Kofi is there just to give him something to do. That translates to something very uninteresting, but then again the tag titles have had that distinction for years now.

Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he’s better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.

Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino’s face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it’s on.

Here’s Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it’s Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There’s something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE ’13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It’s going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.

Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he’s got Bryan tonight so there’s no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what’s coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.

During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn’t seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn’t work but Bryan’s high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.

Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I’m not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B-. I didn’t like this one as much but at least Punk didn’t lose clean. This felt more like they were just doing their signature moves for awhile until they got to the ending. AJ didn’t really add much, but her in an outfit like that is never a bad thing. Pretty good match here but nothing compared to the PPV one.

Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.

Christian vs. The Miz

Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it’s Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C-. Miz is pretty firmly entrenched as the jobber to the stars here and that’s ok. Setting up Cody vs. Christian is fine but I’m hoping it leads to Cody moving up. He’s gotten the IC Title about as far as he could and there’s nothing left for him to do with it. The match was fine.

Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve’s coffer and she spits it on him because it’s cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It’s supposed to be cold. IT’S ICED COFFEE.”

After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn’t for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can’t get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that’s that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.

Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she’ll see what she can do.

We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.

Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.

We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.

Brodus Clay vs. Big Show

It’s 11pm so it’s time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That’s nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.

He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.

Overall Rating: D. The show was decent enough from a technical standpoint, but my goodness I do not care about Big Show and whatever his latest heel turn is about (yes I know what it is). It’s about as by the numbers as you could get and it couldn’t be clearer that they’re just dragging it through to the summer for whatever their big idea is there. I was sitting here tonight waiting on this show to end. That’s not a good thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick

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It’s back to Raw again and we have a full four weeks to build up to No Way Out. That’s the cage match PPV as they continue to try to find a theme show for June. Anyway Ace won last night due to the SHOCKING Big Show turn. Other than that Punk and Sheamus both retained. Odds are Lesnar will be here this week as we need to start building to the cage PPV, which is a natural fit for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s angry Cena to open the show. He says that he’s had a lot of matches like this where he loses and then comes out and talks about losing and then moves on. This is different though. It’s not about how he lost but the fact that he just did. Cena talks about how Ace has been a bully since he got here and last night Cena got to give him some payback for it. Ace ran and then Big Show threw him back and it was fun again.

Show threw Ace to Cena for an AA and then Show knocked him out. Cena is upset here. He talks about how people have been saying he should have just beaten Ace when he had the chance, but if the giant was already paid off it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If it wasn’t for the times when he had Ace in the STF last night, that would make a lot of sense.

Cena isn’t sure who the new GM would be (“YOU COULD EVEN BRING THE COMPUTER BACK!”) but they could have rehired the Big Show. But instead Ace won and it’s more People Power. Now we’re going to see some graphic and then hear from Ace about how he’s got a new plan or whatever and it’s crap. Cue Ace…..or rather Eve to Ace’s music. Cena: “Wow John you got really hot but you still suck!” She brings out Ace…..in a freaking motorized scooter with a People Power plate on it. Ok that’s freaking funny. She helps Ace onto a crutch and it’s time to talk some more.

He talks about how after the match last night he was sent to the hospital and he has some possible injuries to his clavicle, knee and spine. He can’t use his left extremities due to possible nerve damage but that’s ok because he proved that he’s a fierce competitor. If anyone touches him, he’s fired. Ace rehired Show on Satur……WAIT WHAT? IF SHOW IS REHIRED ON SATURDAY, THEN ACE SHOULD BE FIRED!!! Cena vs. Show, No Way Out, you know the drill.

Here’s Show to a lot of booing. He talks about how he doesn’t owe us an explanation and how last week he was on his knees crying. The fans say he’s a sellout but he’s mad about the lack of sympathy. He yells about Cena saying how dare you a lot. He’ll knock Cena out at the PPV and that’s it. Here’s Otunga who says he’s going to beat Cena now. Cena says he’s not in the mood right now so go watch Law and Order reruns because it’ll end badly otherwise. Otunga says ok and dedicates the match to Ace, which will be after a break. The segment was great until the HORRIBLE plot hole.

David Otunga vs. John Cena

The very angry Cena lets Otunga run away about three times and there’s no contact at all so far. Make it four times. Cena fakes him out and gets caught anyway by a bunch of forearms. Cena comes back with some punches and the beating begins. HARD clothesline puts Otunga down and it’s the AA into the STF at 1:57.

Post match Hawkins, Reks, Young and O’Neil run in for the beatdown. Sheamus makes the save, running over Ace in the process. So he’ll be fired right? They get thrown out and Ace yells at all four of them. Ace makes Sheamus/Cena vs. three unnamed people in a lumberjack match.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his aforementioned match with Orton. Instead it’s Santino who comes out to say that Ricardo is hard to understand. They talk about rolling R’s when you talk and Santino gives him the Cobra. Santino does Del Rio’s entrance and there’s no Del Rio. Instead we get a video about how WWE has 1000 episodes, which NOTHING else has ever done. Not even World Championship Wrestling which became Saturday Night which ran for over 30 years without taking a break. Del Rio comes out and Santino leaves….and it’s time for another commercial.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio counters Orton to start and goes right for the arm. A hard kick to said arm slows Orton down but the Codebreaker to it is broken up. Orton comes back with punches in the corner and sends Del Rio to the floor as we take ANOTHER commercial. Back with Del Rio hitting the Codebreaker on the arm and a hard kick as well. Del Rio misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Orton to come back with his usual stuff. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but here’s Jericho for the DQ at 7:20 total. I’m not going to rate it because most of that was in the commercial.

Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton, likely setting up their match at No Way Out. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does and repeats it for good measure. Orton gets up but walks into another Codebreaker.

Here’s Bryan who says that he made Punk tap. The footage is doctored to make it look like Punk tapped faster. Bryan says he made Punk tap and demands a rematch. Cue Punk who says that he beat Bryan 1-2-3 and shows us a clip….from Smackdown where Bryan caused Kane to destroy Punk. With that, here’s Bryan’s opponent for this evening.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

HOKEY SMOKE THEY ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE WATCH THE TAPE!!! Punk sits in on commentary. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and they head to the floor. Punk says he has to get a better look and picks up a chair, only to have Bryan pull it away. Kane sees Bryan holding it and destroys him. A chair shot to Bryan gets the DQ at 1:47. This was just there for comedy but I liked it.

Post match Kane chokeslams him twice. Kane leaves and Punk puts Bryan in the Vice to make him tap.

Post break Punk is in the back when AJ comes up. He calls her sadistic and she starts freaking. Before she can go crazy he says she’s the one that’s been a fool this whole time. She starts crying and Punk isn’t sure what to do. He hugs her and says everything is going to be fine while kind of rolling his eyes. Punk says stop crying so she immediately does. He says he digs crazy chicks and leaves. More on this later I’m assuming, but I love crazy AJ.

Christian gets an elaborate introduction before his match.

Christian vs. Jinder Mahal

See, THIS is what guys like Mahal is good for. Why don’t they get that more often? Christian hits the reverse DDT and a missile dropkick to take over. He gets backdropped to the floor and Mahal takes over with a chinlock. Christian comes back and now the story has been changed to Show signing THIS MORNING instead of Saturday. Mahal puts him down for a camel clutch but gets caught with the Killswitch which sets up a frog splash for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and it’s a good win for Christian. Not that beating Mahal means anything, but it’s nice to see a good little win to cement that he’s back. Again, do more matches like this one where Christian looks good, someone else gets some TV time, and you don’t waste a potentially big match for free on TV.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is watching in the back. Beth jumps her to start until Kelly comes back with her usual stuff. Beth misses a charge and Kelly hits her bad Thesz Press and headscissors. Geez shut up with the screaming woman. Handspring elbow is broken up and it’s a Glam Slam for the pin at 2:28. Ignore that Kelly’s face or chest didn’t hit the mat at all on that move.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai vs. Sheamus/John Cena

Yeah it’s Tensai now and he doesn’t have the robe anymore. He also walks to the ring fast now, which is a major upgrade. The lumberjacks are all heels of course. Sheamus and Ziggler start with the champ using his power to control. Off to Cena vs. Tensai with Albert moving faster this week. That can only be good for him. Swagger comes in to do nothing but miss his Vader Bomb and let Sheamus come back in.

Knee lift puts Swagger down for two as Ziggler saves. Dolph is sent to the floor and it’s champ vs. Tensai. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus beats up the lumberjacks. Jericho won’t let Sheamus back in so Tensai gets in a shot. Tensai pounds on him some more as we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing the Brogue Kick to Swagger.

Ankle lock goes on but instead of holding it, Jack tags Tensai. Sheamus gets sent to the floor for a mini brawl with the lumberjacks before it’s back inside for an extended beating. Fameasser gets two. Big Show comes out on the stage. Sheamus keeps getting beaten down by Tensai as Show talks about how Show was rehired this morning, thereby making it the latest official history.

The champ punches everyone and the Regal Roll lets him tag Cena. The place likes Cena this week. He cleans house but Sheamus gets jumped by the lumberjacks. Cena dives through the ropes onto them and the lumberjacks do the big beatdown. We’ll say it’s thrown out at about 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was your usual main event style tag match. It wasn’t bad but the constant Sheamus beatdown got pretty dull after awhile. It’s not a bad match or anything but the point of this was the post match stuff, which is fine, especially when you need a way to end the show. Not bad though.

The whole locker room runs out for a HUGE brawl. Show went somewhere. Cena gets to the floor and goes Show hunting. We cut to the back and Cena runs into Ace, who doesn’t know where Show is. Cena turns around into a BIG punch to knock him out and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show. It came off as much more light hearted which is a plus, but the plot holes that they kept trying to change got annoying. The main event wasn’t bad but it didn’t serve much of a purpose. One thing to note though: when there’s no legal stuff or contract talk, I enjoy things FAR better. That stuff gets annoying fast so not having it for once was nice. Not a great show but it was fun.

Results
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Christian b. Jinder Mahal – Frog Splash
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Tensai/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger went to a no contest

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It’s the night after St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and the main story is that Big Show debuted in the Austin vs. McMahon main event. It’s the late 90s so you know that we’re going to get some Vince vs. Austin stuff. In other PPV news, Mankind and Rock fought to a draw, keeping the title on Foley. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of the two main events from last night.

Cue theme song.

Here’s Commissioner Shawn Michaels to open things up. He introduces the men that will be facing off for the WWF Title at Wrestlemania: Austin and Mankind. Before Shawn can talk to them we get Vince who is in a big neck brace and has a big bandage on the top of his head. Vince talks about how he’s been humbled and defeated, although the fans aren’t thrilled with him. He wants to start things over and bury the hatchet.

For some reason Vince asks Austin for an apology. Austin apologizes for not giving Vince a worse beating than he already gave him. Vince talks about how Wrestlemania is going to see these two in the main event. There’s a problem with that though: Mankind didn’t win last night. It was a draw, so Rock should get a rematch tonight. Mankind says he’s in bad shape and asks for a week to get ready.

Here’s Rock who is banged up too. He says Mankind wants seven days but he doesn’t have seven minutes. This is when Rock has finally (see what I did there?) gotten his rhythm down on the mic. He doesn’t think much of Shawn but Michaels needs to make this match tonight. Mankind says he has testicles full of fortitude so he’ll face Rock tonight. Vince wants to make it a ladder match for some reason. Shawn says ok. Vince says one more thing: Paul Wight (Big Show. He wouldn’t get his more famous name for a few more weeks) is going to referee the title match at Wrestlemania.

Debra/Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown/Ivory

Jarrett and Owen are tag champions here and this is fallout from a title match against Brown/Henry last night. Jarrett runs away from a charging Brown and we stall to begin things. Things get going and Jarrett gets taken down by a leg lariat and again by a clothesline. A middle rope knee drop misses though and Jeff takes over. There’s the Figure Four but Ivory comes in to rake Jeff’s eyes. Brown slams him and hits the Low Down but here come the girls. BIG reaction for Ivory when she goes after Debra. The match gets thrown out. This was nothing.

Debra KILLS Ivory with the guitar post match. Owen comes in to help with the beatdown but it doesn’t go anywhere.

Big Show is introduced to the Corporation.

Here are HHH and X-Pac for a chat. HHH yells at the now Corporate Chyna and calls out Kane as well. Apparently the four of them had a tag match last night and Chyna pinned HHH. Cue Shane, Chyna and Kane for HHH to ask for a rematch. Shane gives Chyna the night off so that’s a no. Pac thinks we should just swap Chyna for Shane and we’ll have a rematch that way. Shane says he has no attire but if Pac will put the European Title up in a tag match, it’s on. Pac says cool.

Mankind is having issues with ladder climbing practice.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Val Venis

Val is champion and won the title last night when Billy was referee for no apparent reason and allowed the former champion Ken Shamrock’s sister Ryan, who is sleeping with Val, to interfere and cost her brother the title. Got that? Billy misses a charge to start and Val beats him down in the corner. Gunn comes back with a hip swiveling neckbreaker for two. Val charges into a boot and misses a headbutt as Billy punches away. Ryan gets on the apron but Val sends Billy into the ropes, knocking her to the floor. Val grabs a quick German suplex to retain. Another short match.

Ryan limps into the ring to celebrate with Val but he dumps her.

The Ministry is here.

Billy tells Ryan he’s sorry for what just happened when Shamrock comes in and beats the tar out of him.

Here’s the Ministry, which consists of Undertaker, Paul Bearer, the Brood (Edge, Christian and Gangrel), the Acolytes, Mideon and Viscera. Last night they kidnapped Boss Man who later escaped. Bearer and Undertaker say that they want to own the company and there’s nothing Vince can do about it. While Vince has been dealing with Austin, Undertaker has formed an army to destroy the Corporation. He talks about the Higher Power which would wind up being a confusing story even by Russo’s standards. Cue Boss Man who makes a challenge for a six man Corporation vs. Ministry match. Taker doesn’t seem to object.

European Title: Shane McMahon/Kane vs. X-Pac/HHH

I think only Shane can win the title here and I have no idea if he has to pin Pac or not. HHH jumps Kane to start but he can’t really hurt him. Shane runs from the Game and immediately tags Kane back in. DX tries to double team the monster but they walk into a double clothesline. They try some High Low and Kane goes down, but he launches Pac to the floor on the kickout.

X-Pac goes after Shane but walks into a clothesline from Chyna. Apparently Kane can win the title too. A flying knee puts Kane down but only for a second. Kane takes him back down and hits the top rope clothesline. Shane wants in now and hammers HHH down which doesn’t work at all. Off to Pac and the fans are liking this a lot now. Chyna interferes again but Shane accidentally drills her. Bronco Buster is broken up by Kane but HHH knocks Kane to the floor. Chyna hands Shane the belt and a shot to the head of X-Pac gives Shane the title.

Rating: D+. This was a big mess but it gave the Corporation more reason to be hated. Shane wasn’t any good yet but obviously he would improve a lot. This was more about Chyna vs. DX though which was what it should have been about. That being said, it would all be pointless after Wrestlemania anyway. Match itself was nothing of note.

Shane and the Corporation have a big party to celebrate.

Hardcore Title: Steve Blackman vs. Hardcore Holly

Bob is champion. Blackman jumps him on the stage and they head into the back. Not that they have a camera ready or anything but after a few moments of looking at the stage, we catch up with them backstage. Holly throws a TV monitor at Blackman’s head which misses due to a high chance of death. Blackman throws him into some barrels as we hear Bob’s first name: Thurman. Now they’re outside and both are rammed into various things. Holly gets thrown into a dumpster and here’s Droz to beat up Blackman with some object. Holly gets the easy pin. Another nothing match.

Bob comes to the ring and complains about how many bad gimmicks and partners he’s been given over the years. He issues an open challenge for next week and Bart Gun of all people accepts it.

Test/Ken Shamrock/Big Boss Man vs. Acolytes/Mideon

Big brawl to start until we get to Boss Man vs. Mideon in a rematch from last night. They do nothing of note until everything breaks down and the lights go out. Here’s Undertaker and the Ministry heads to the ramp. Viscera and the Brood come out with Shane unconscious. They present him to the Undertaker who says Vince probably doesn’t care about his boy anyway. Taker gives Shane what looks like an envelope and says this is from the Lord of Darkness and is for Vince.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Ladder match remember. Rock is in workout gear and I’ve heard rumors that he did this for awhile because he was recovering from surgery to remove male breasts he developed from using steroids. That might be a joke but I’m not sure. Further research says that he did have the surgery but I’m not sure if it was due to steroids. Rock tells Mankind to put some salt on his hand and take a shot of the Rock. Ok then. Austin comes out to do commentary and scout for Wrestlemania.

Mankind knocks him to the floor to start and the brawl is on. Rock reverses him into the steps knees first and grabs a chair. The knee gets rammed into the chair and Rock brings in the ladder. That goes badly for him as the champ gets the chair and beats the ladder onto Rock with it. People’s Elbow by Mankind puts Rock down and Mankind goes up, but Rock hits him in the knee with the chair.

A chop block puts Mankind down again. Rock puts the ladder around the leg and beats on it with a chair. Almost all Rock so far. He goes for a climb but Mankind throws him onto the top rope. A hard chair shot puts Rock down but Rock pops up and hits Mankind in the knee with the chair. Mankind lands in the ropes but unties himself quickly. Back to the floor and Mankind is somehow still walking.

They go up to the stage area through the crowd and Mankind drops a few elbows. They head back to ringside and Mankind takes over. Mankind sets to piledrive him through the table but a low blow lets Rock hit the Rock Bottom through it instead. For some reason the title isn’t over the middle to the ring but rather off to the left by a few feet. Mankind somehow makes the save and pulls Rock off the ladder for a double arm DDT.

Both guys are down and here’s Mr. Socko. Rock shoves the ladder into Mankind and DDTs him down. Time for another climb but Mankind goes up on the other side as well. Rock reaches for the title but Mankind puts the Claw on at the same time. Cue Big Show to chokeslam Mankind off the ladder. Rock wins the title back.

Rating: B. These two are one of the pairings that will always have good matches together and this was no exception. It’s not as good as some of their matches but for a final match to their feud this was fine. It also set up Mankind vs. Big Show until Wrestlemania as well as giving us Rock vs. Austin in the main event of Wrestlemania. Good brawl here and for a TV main event you can’t ask for much more than that.

Austin Stuns Rock to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a different kind of build to Mania as other than the main event, everything was pretty much continuing the stories they already had coming instead of doing anything new. That’s not a terrible thing but it’s certainly different. This wasn’t a great show but other than the main event, it was your usual Attitude Era mess. It’s entertaining, but if you’re trying to keep track of what’s going on, watching a one night show is a hard thing to do.

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It’s the last Raw before Sunday’s Over The Limit so hopefully we’ll get some Cena tonight to sell the show. That being said, the guy is going through a divorce so I think you have to cut him some slack on how effective he’s going to be out there. We also have Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for Sunday so expect a lot of staring at each other tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH walking through the back. He runs into Ace who says he had nothing to do with Lesnar attacking him. HHH says he’ll respond in front of the world.

Theme song.

Here’s HHH but before he talks we get the video from Raw two weeks ago for the 100th time. HHH says everyone wants to know his thoughts on Lesnar. It’s not the physical part of it because he’s had worse done to him. It’s Lesnar saying that he has to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. A few weeks before that, HHH was going toe to toe with Undertaker in the most watched Wrestlemania of all time.

Lesnar’s arrogance offends all of the greats in WWE history and it offends HHH as a fans. Two weeks ago he was slightly embarrassed because of Lesnar always bailing when he got challenged. HHH saw the potential in Brock back in 2002, but Brock quit in 2004 after someone challenged him, then he quit UFC when he had to fight and now he came back here and went after Cena, who beat him as well.

Cue Heyman and a lawyer. Heyman says that HHH has blown this and that it’s an open and shut case. Lesnar had an agreement with Ace but HHH ripped it up. The lawyer serves HHH with a lawsuit for millions of dollars and Heyman runs his mouth some more. HHH grabs Heyman by the face and says Lesnar will get what he deserves. The Game leaves but Heyman says he’s suing HHH for assault and battery.

We get a recap of Show making fun of Ace last week. He gets Kane tonight as a result.

CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes

Insert Pretender reference here. Punk and Rhodes start things off with Punk taking control. He sends Cody to the floor and Bryan out on top of him. There’s a suicide dive but Santino can’t quite bring himself to do one of his own as we take a break. After an ad for a Raw house show in my town in July, we come back with Rhodes beating up Santino. Off to Bryan who drops a bunch of knees for two.

Bryan throws on an armbar and the beating continues. In a funny bit, Santino dives for the tag but misses. Rhodes laughs but gets shoved off, allowing Santino to make the real tag. Bulldog puts Rhodes down but the GTS is avoided. High Kick puts Rhodes down but Bryan avoids one of his own. He heads to the floor and Cody walks into the GTS for the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C-. Everyone here knew that Cody was taking the fall here right? I want to make sure I’ve at least taught you that much. Other than that, the match was just ok. Santino being in there didn’t make a ton of sense but Big Show was busy tonight. I’d have liked more between Bryan and Punk but we had a champion to pin so it was out of the question.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

So Fox is face on here and heel on NXT. Got it. The crowd just goes silent when the bell rings. Layla comes out to watch. Gorilla press and Glam Slam, 1:16.

Alicia is about to get beaten up again but Layla makes the save.

Video on Cena’s Make-A-Wish work which is cool.

We see the Ace/Show segment again for some reason.

Ryder vs. Kane is the pre-show match for Sunday.

We get ANOTHER clip from last week with Ace saying that it might be Show’s last match in WWE.

Ace and Otunga come out and we take a break, meaning in this TV segment we announced a pre-show match and saw a clip.

Kane vs. Big Show

Show takes it to the mat which gets us nowhere. Kane fires off shoulders in the corner but gets thrown away with ease. The masked man hits a cross body of all things and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with clotheslines and a slam to set up the Vader Bomb Elbow. Not that it matters as Kane moves and goes up top. He jumps into a chokeslam attempt but escapes that too. We head to the floor and Kane gets whipped into the barricade and speared. They get back in and Ace wants an apology right now. That allows Kane to use a choke takedown (looked awful) for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: F. It was awful, it was slow, the ending SUCKED. What more do you want from me here?

Ace says Show has to apologize or he’s fired. Show says he’s accomplished everything and he can walk away. But he still loves what he does and he doesn’t want to be fired. If it means being fined or never getting a title match again, then so be it but don’t take away what he loves. If the imitation offended Ace, then he’s sorry.

Ace said Show didn’t apologize so Show says it again. Ace wants Show to beg for his job on his knees. Show can’t bring himself to do it and begs from his feet. Ace says he won’t fire him for the sake of business. He leaves but then changes his mind. Show says wait and gets on his knees and apologizes. Ace fires him anyway. Ok the smile on his face helps a bit.

And now for something completely different.

Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Miz/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger start things off and it’s off to Clay very quickly. He throws all three heels down as the champions knock Miz to the floor. We take a break and come back with Truth in a Ziggler chinlock. AW Enterprises (with the possibly now signed Mason Ryan) are watching from a sky box. Miz comes in and gets caught in a neckbreaker. Tag to Kofi who speeds things up as he is known to do. SOS gets two and everything breaks down. Ziggler jumps into a headbutt from Brodus, Kofi gets a GREAT sounding Trouble in Paradise on Miz and the Splash ends Miz at 6:58. Most of that was in a commercial so no rating but this was fine.

Punk is with Alex Riley of all people when AJ comes up. Riley leaves (Punk: “Hey, remember that $50 you owe me!”) and AJ wishes Punk luck on Sunday. He doesn’t want anything to do with the drama that comes with AJ and Bryan. Punk is worried about a setup because AJ is so unstable so he walks away. AJ looks….sad?

Sheamus comes down for commentary for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Orton dropkicks him to the floor as we take a break. These breaks during a match are REALLY getting annoying and have been for years. Back with Jericho holding a chinlock. He takes Orton into the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two. Off to a surfboard hold but Orton escapes. Backbreaker puts Jericho down but the elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop. Jericho throws Orton into Sheamus but back in Orton loads up the DDT again. Sheamus pulls him to the floor and clotheslines him down for the DQ win for Jericho at 8:40.

Rating: C-. That’s the ending everyone knew was coming and that’s perfectly fine. I’m actually very glad that no one has gotten a clean win over anyone else in this match since the fourway was announced. That’s a big problem they’ve had recently with multi-man matches: someone is always made to look weak beforehand but in this case, that hasn’t happened at all. I think I’m looking forward to this match more than anything else on Sunday.

Orton gets in Sheamus’ face and challenges him to a fight right now which Sheamus is more than happy to accept. Referees break it up.

Post break Orton vs. Sheamus is announced for Friday.

Here’s Ace to push himself vs. Cena tonight. He talks about how everyone that loves Cena is a bad person because their favorite wrestler reflects themselves. Here’s Cena who makes fun of Ace’s voice and runs him down for firing Show. Ace has the gall to call himself a winner so we hear Ace’s resume. His team won at Wrestlemania…..and that’s about it. Punk is still champion and then Lesnar lost and left. That makes him 1-4 and that makes him a loser.

That’s fine because at Over The Limit, Ace is going to lose again. Ace has managed to step on everyone during his tenure on top. Tonight he’s stepped on everyone in the WWE Universe tonight in the name of people power. Instead it should be person power because that’s all that matters to Ace. Cena has a show of hands to see how many people want to punch Ace into the middle of next week. Next question: how many people want to beat up Ace so bad that he squeals like a baby calf? That gets a BIG reaction.

Cena says the reaction is appropriate in Pittsburgh for a few reason. First up is the Steel Curtain (The Steelers’ defense from the 70s) which is famous for destroying people, which is what Cena is going to do to Ace on Sunday. The other reason is the Pittsburgh Penguins. Ace says that he was going to use the Penguins later in the promo but Cena stole it. Ace tries to talk but Cena keeps calling him a loser. The boss calls the Penguins losers so Cena pulls out a hockey puck and says go puck yourself.

Ace says that he’s taller and better looking than Cena which must bother him. Cue Eve with a paper as he’s talking. She has something to tell him but he won’t listen to her. Finally she gets his attention and hands him the paper which he stops to read. Cena steals it from him (ripping it in half in the process) and says it’s from the board of directors. The match will be one on one with no special referee and no one allowed at ringside. You have to win by pin or submission and anyone who interferes is immediately fired. Oh and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Cena’s music plays but he stops it because Cole mentioned a major announce

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty easily the worst Raw in months and probably the worst this year. With two WAY too long segments that end in some legal or administrative decision, it was a hard show to sit through for the first hour. The lack of Cena until the very end didn’t help things either. I’m looking forward to the fourway on Sunday and Punk vs. Bryan (which got almost zero setup tonight) but other than that it’s a filler show. Terrible Raw tonight.

Results
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show – Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz – Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered

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This show almost has to be better than last week’s. Last week wasn’t really bad but it just wasn’t interesting in the slightest and nothing happened with it. This week hopefully Austin is back and we’re moving towards No Mercy and then Survivor Series. Based on the card, nothing is going to get any better this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Rock and Angle trying to win the tag titles from the Dudleys but having Booker and Test run in for the save. Angle took a 3D through a table as did Rock.

After the theme song here’s Kurt for a chat. Angle says that he has business to finish with the Dudleys, but first of all Austin isn’t here again. Angle doesn’t quite believe that, but maybe it’s true. He’s not sure you see. Maybe Austin is scared. There’s nothing embarrassing about tapping out to escape the pain of the ankle lock. Angle doesn’t want to embarrass Austin but how about Austin comes out here right now.

Instead he gets the Rock for some reason. Rock doesn’t know or care where Austin is tonight. He does however care about the Dudleys after the pair of 3D’s on Smackdown. Rock thinks that maybe they should get together with the Dudleys tonight. It can be all of the Dudleys, even the more obscure ones which he lists for some decent laughs.

Here’s Shane who is in fighting clothes. Shane thinks that he’s going to put the Dudleys against Rock in a handicap tables match for the title. If Rock doesn’t do it, the belt is stripped from The Rock. Rock says cool, although he’s a little more colorful than that. Angle wants to talk about strudel.

Austin is a giant strudel and Shane doesn’t have a strudel of his own. Shane says he has a whole bakery down there, so tonight it’s himself vs. Angle for the WWF Title. How does he get to make that match? Shane comes to the ring but the Dudleys run in for the beatdown. Angle gets powerbombed through a table and Rock makes the save. That goes badly as he takes a 3D of his own. Did this segment really need seventeen minutes?

We get a fax at the announce table. I wonder if that’s the father of the GM Computer. It’s for Heyman from Austin and it says (complete with a graphic saying communicating by fax) that Austin won’t be here tonight because he resents Angle as well as the fans. It even includes WHAT’s, which is kind of awesome.

European Title: Spike Dudley vs. Hurricane

The word on the street is that Molly has turned villain by turning hero. Spike pounds on him to start but Hurricane comes back with a neckbreaker. Superkick by the champion misses and Spike goes up. Mike Awesome comes down for no apparent reason and Spike dives on him. Hurricane hits Spike and goes up but jumps into the boot. He loads up the Dudley Dog but Awesome trips him up. Eye of the Hurricane off the top ends this. Short and bad.

In the back Molly officially becomes Mighty Molly and joins Hurricane as they leave on the Hurricycle. Big Show pops up on the Tron looking like an IDIOT in a jean hat and jacket. He says on Smackdown that he’ll take Spike out on the town to meet a bunch of women. Show sounds drunk.

Booker T/Test/Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker/Kane/Chris Jericho

Booker and Test beat the monsters for the WCW tag titles on Smackdown. Before the WWF guys come in we get another fax from Austin which says that he congratulates the new champions but RVD needs to remember that there’s only one leader of the Alliance. Jericho and Booker start things off. The Canadian starts with the forearm and chops Booker into the corner.

Off to Undertaker who gets very little reaction. I guess he listens as he tags back out less than ten seconds later. A hook kick lets Booker tag Test in and now Taker will fight for awhile. Taker works on the arm and hits Old School which gets a good reaction. Kane comes in with a side slam and the top rope clothesline. RVD walks into a big boot but as Kane tries the double chokeslam, RVD hits Kane low right in front of the referee who doesn’t do anything.

RVD is legal off that somehow and hits Rolling Thunder for two on Kane. Back to Booker and then Test very quickly. The Canadian beats on Kane for a few moments but gets caught in a belly to back suplex to put him down. Off to Taker who is moving quickly by his standards.

He beats up all three Alliance guys while Jericho just lets the three on one fight to continue. Van Dam superkicks Undertaker but RVD bulldogs him down. Everything breaks down and we have some heel miscommunication. Test kicks Kane’s head off but gets caught in an UGLY Last Ride. Booker knocks Taker to the floor but gets caught in the Walls. Van Dam hits a top rope kick to the face and rolls up Jericho for the pin.

Rating: C-. Basic six man tag here with some REALLY bad refereeing in there too. The idea of tagging was thrown out the window most of the time in this match and it got pretty annoying. Not a good match either but the combining of two feuds into one match is a pretty good idea in a period like this one.

We get a clip from Heat where Stacy and Torrie have a stupid argument. Torrie beats her up.

Stephanie and her rocking rack will be back next week. Jericho hurt her on Smackdown and we get a clip of the match where she got hurt in the Walls. Her in a tight blue halter top and leather pants WORKS.

Awesome talks to RD in the back when Shane comes in. He wants to talk about the Stephanie injury and implies it was RVD’s fault. This goes nowhere.

Oh geez it’s time for a Torrie promo. Thankfully Stacy jumps her before anything can be said. Lillian the interviewer yells in Spanish.

WCW World Title: Dudley Boys vs. The Rock

Tables match. Rock needs to put one through a table to win. Rock charges the ring and we’re off fast. They go to the floor and Rock sends both of them into the table and makes Bubba clothesline D-Von. Rock puts a table in the ring and hits a baseball slide to kick a different table into Bubba’s face. D-Von gets in but Bubba Rock up to give the team control. What’s Up to Rock and it’s one of those stupid matches where they have to tag.

D-Von is in legally first and there’s a table set up in the ring. Bubba kicks Rock in the back to put him down again and then tags in legally. Quickly back to D-Von as Rock comes back with punches. The reverse 3D takes Rock down and Bubba is in legally. The Dudleys set for something off the top but Rock comes back. He crotches Bubba but D-Von moves the table so Rock just slams Bubba onto the mat. D-Von sets up a second table for a 3D but Rock knocks D-Von to the floor.

Samoan Drop puts Bubba down as does a DDT. D-Von back in and he walks into a Rock Bottom but Bubba moves the table. Spinebuster puts Bubba down and here’s Shane. He puts Rock through the table but there’s no referee. Another Alliance referee comes in but a WWF one counters him. What authority would the WWF one have here? Bubba picks up Rock and gets caught in a Rock Bottom through the table so Rock can retain.

Rating: C-. So, again, we have a challenge of the week for Rock and there’s more interference by Shane which Rock overcomes. This has been going on for what, four weeks in a row now? Like I’ve been saying the whole time, there’s no point to the majority of these matches as there’s nowhere for this specific pairing to go anymore and once again, it’s about a McMahon instead of a wrestler. Same old, same old.

DDP still has a creepy smile and wants us to like ourselves. He recently hurt his knee and needed surgery, but that’s a good thing because his knee is stronger than ever and he loves rehab. We get a yoga demonstration which was never mentioned again I don’t think.

Tajiri/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Tazz

Torrie is in a full body dress and Stacy is in leather shorts. Clearly they’re in fighting gear here. The guys start (thank goodness) and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. He tries a kick but gets caught in the capture suplex and it’s off to Stacy vs. Torrie. Make this quick. As expected they’re terrible because THEY AREN’T WRESTLERS. Back to the guys with Tajiri firing off his strikes and hooking the Tarantula. Ivory runs out and DDTs Torrie so Stacy can pin her. Awful match and for the life of me is anyone supposed to care?

Another fax says Austin doesn’t like bullies, which is what JR is.

Ivory hits on Regal who isn’t impressed. Lance Storm comes in to talk about sexual harassment and we have a match later.

Here’s Christian to complain about not getting respect after defending his title twice last week. No one defends his title like he does and no one cares. He insults the locals and wants to know why no one likes him. Cue X-Pac (irony!) who sympathizes with Christian. He was part of the most popular group ever and then went out on his own. The people turned on him and he’s mad about it. Christian says shame on the people and Pac calls them all losers.

Cue Edge who says Pac didn’t make the people chew him up and spit him out. He made them want to vomit. 1998 called and they’re sick of him, so come join us in 2001. Edge used to be into the goth thing but then changed because of this thing called “character development.” Maybe Pac should look into it. This is great stuff. Christian makes fun of Edge as the fans chant for Edge. Edge asks the fans why they hate Christian and gives them some options to pick from. Albert jumps Edge and it’s three on one until the APA makes the save.

William Regal vs. Lance Storm

This HAS TO be good right? Storm quickly takes him down with a jawbreaker but Regal knocks him to the floor. Regal fires off forearms back in the ring but walks into a boot that bloodies his nose. Not that it matters as the Regal Stretch gets the tap out after about 90 seconds.

FAX! Austin says that he’s either #1 contender or else Regal is going to get it. Regal isn’t pleased and roughs up Heyman as a result.

In a hilariously bad bit of acting, Maven, the Tough Enough winner, is told by Taz that he’s competing on Smackdown. His opponent is about to come through that door. Maven turns around and there’s a Tazmission, because Taz is the opponent.

Shane implies that he wants Van Dam to help him in the main event…I think.

WWF Title: Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

Your main event people! We’ve got ALL OF ECW AND MOST OF WCW on the payroll but we get Shane McMahon. Sure why not. Angle starts fast with punches and some hard clotheslines. Out to the floor for Kurt to hit RVD but it allows Shane to take over. And never mind as Angle suplexes him to take over again. Kurt tries to suplex Shane over the top and to the floor but Shane grabs the rope.

A springboard clothesline by Shane puts Kurt down for two. He works on the neck and breaks it for two. Kurt starts a comeback but gets caught by a floatover DDT. Top rope elbow gets a delayed cover as the elbow hurt Shane too. Kurt comes back with punches and the Rolling Germans. Out to the floor and Shane takes another belly to belly. Van Dam fires off a kick and hits a Frog Splash from the apron. That gets two in the ring so Van Dam throws in a chair. Shane tries a piledriver but Angle reverses into the ankle lock to retain.

Rating: D. So we got a basic squash for the WWF Title in the main event. No one on the planet bought Shane as a legit threat here and you could tell with no one reacting to the covers in the slightest. With the roster you have out there, THIS is the best you can give us? Even with the knowledge of the names that would be there within just a few months, this is still unacceptable. Booker, RVD, Rhyno, Mike Awesome, any of these guys would have been a better and more believable option than Shane. The other problem is that even if Shane won the title, so what? It’s a world title apiece again.

Overall Rating: D+. These shows are getting worse and worse because it’s the same stuff over and over again. We have these meaningless title defenses while we sit around and wait for Austin to come back and no one has a freaking clue what the point of any of this is. I know I harp on this a lot but none of these matches or fights mean anything. The Alliance never had a goal or anything other than to come in and beat WWF guys, which doesn’t mean anything at the end of the day, which is where the whole thing fell apart. Well among other things but you get the idea. Weakest show in awhile here.

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We’re past Unforgiven and the biggest detail is that we have a new WWF Champion in the form of Kurt Angle, who beat Austin in a pretty good match. We’re four weeks away from No Mercy and it’ll be the first show where things look even the slightest bit different in the main event picture. And then that’ll all mean nothing as it’ll be time for the Survivor Series and the end of the Alliance. Let’s get to it.

We open with Angle being announced as the new world champion and his family coming in to celebrate with him.

We’re waiting on Austin to arrive so in the meantime we’ll play a theme song.

Kane/Undertaker/Bradshaw vs. Dudley Boyz/Test

Kronik has been fired due to last night’s debacle so we have a new Alliance team for Undertaker and Kane to beat up. The Dudleys are WWF tag champions and Kane/Taker are the WCW counterparts. Bradshaw jumps Test to start and escapes the full nelson slam. Test absorbs some right hands and clotheslines Bradshaw down. Off to D-Von who gets slammed down and there’s a tag to Kane.

Sidewalk slam puts D-Von down and the top rope clothesline puts him down even further. Big boot from Test changes momentum and gets two for D-Von. Kane gets beaten up on the floor a bit as Undertaker tries to help, thereby allowing more cheating. Bubba drops some ax handles for two. Test comes in and pounds on Kane but the Spaniard slugs back and tags in Undertaker. Everything breaks down and Taker avoids the 3D. Bubba gets taken down by the Clothesline and a Last Ride pins D-Von.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here with nothing going on at all. Undertaker looks strong which doesn’t really help anything. I guess this sets up Dudleys vs. Brothers but it doesn’t really make the big tough team look all that vulnerable. Also as usual, the match doesn’t mean anything past the latest win/loss for either side.

Stacy comes in to see Torrie and wants to know what she sees in Tajiri. Stacy thinks he’s short and not much of a man. Torrie says at least she has a man (does Stasiak ring a bell?) so Stacy says she can get one anytime she wants (Stasiak? His dad was world champion?) so a challenge is set up for later.

Christian arrives and Heyman thinks it’s Austin. Christian warns the security guard to be ready for the mob of people that will be here soon. Oh and go get his bags later. He talks to two people ignoring him and says that he’ll sign all their autographs post show.

Shane fires up the Alliance by saying Austin will be here later. He says Austin is still champion because his arm was under the rope. Booker and Shane got screwed by Hebner too, so tonight is about revenge. Stephanie pops in and thinks they’re all here for her birthday. You know, because they wouldn’t show up for work otherwise. Stephanie (looking GREAT again this week) says that tonight is about leadership and following the example of….RVD. Booker comes out of his pose to complain so it’s Booker vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. RVD for the WCW version.

Tajiri vs. Tazz

Tajiri kicks him down but walks into a Tazplex to take over. Tajiri comes back with the kicks and the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick connects but Stacy kisses Tajiri which lets Taz hook the Tazmission for the tap out.

Shane talks to Booker about how it’s time to move up to the WWF Title.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy

Rhyno won the title last night off Tajiri. Jeff speeds things up to start and sends it to the floor. Slingshot dropkick sets up a rana off the apron to take over. Back in the champion hits a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Jeff hits a flipping legdrop for two but walks into a belly to belly. Whisper in the Wind puts Rhyno down but the Swanton misses. The first Gore attempt misses but Jeff goes to the corner and when he lands, Rhyno kills him dead with the Gore to retain.

Rating: C. Rhyno was on a roll at this point and couldn’t have a bad match if he tried. He was great at the power matches and using that Gore to split people in half. He didn’t really have a character but he didn’t need one with his finisher. On top of that he added in some psychology with the constant rib work which makes perfect sense. Good stuff.

Hurricane tells Citizen Ivory and Citizen Storm that he’s glad they’re studying for the match. He also thinks Ivory is in danger and tells her to wait at the entrance. She leaves and Hurricane confides to Storm that he’s ready to take Holly on as his full time sidekick. He makes Storm do Wonder Twin Powers Activate in a funny bit.

Kanyon comes in to see RVD because he’s worried about Austin freaking out on him. Van Dam says just chill.

Ivory/Lance Storm/Hurricane vs. Big Show/Spike Dudley/Molly Holly

Spike is in a Show costume for no apparent reason. Show and Hurricane start things off and the masked man wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so he slaps Big Show, which gets him thrown across the ring. Off to Ivory and Molly with the latter hitting a northern lights suplex for two. Storm and Spike come in and things speed up a bit. Spike chases Hurricane around and gets kicked down by Lance coming back in. Hurricane and the cape come in with a cross body for two. Show comes in and cleans house but Ivory hits him low. Molly gets on Show’s shoulders for the Molly Go Round for the pin on Storm.

Rating: D+. Just turn Molly into a sidekick already and get it over with. It was clear that’s where they were going so just get it over with already. On top of that, Show needs something to do. He’s been doing nothing for months now and it’s getting a little tiring to sit here and watch him do nothing at all.

Earl Hebner comes in to see Shane, who yells at him about an apparent screwjob last night. We see a clip of Austin tapping out but being under the ropes. Hebner admits his mistake but says the decision stands. Shane is barred from ringside for Angle vs. Booker for some reason.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

BIG USA chant goes up. You know Booker is an American too. Angle hits a quick overhead belly to belly for two. Booker grabs a headlock but Kurt grabs the ankle lock which is quickly broken. Angle goes for the ankle again but Booker hits an enziguri to take over. Booker drops a knee to what I think is a bad neck and stands around a lot. Off to a chinlock to take some time out of the match.

Kurt fights up and hits some elbows to the ribs but walks into a spinning forearm for two. Booker hits the ropes but walks into a belly to belly suplex and a belly to back gets two. Booker shoves off the referee to avoid the Slam and kicks Angle down. Belt shot puts Angle down for two. Bookend is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Ax kick misses and Kurt rolls through a suplex into the ankle lock to retain.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it wasn’t anything great. Booker jobbing again shouldn’t surprise anyone and I don’t think it did. He’s the biggest WCW star there was so of course he lost. That was another of the big issues with the Invasion: the Alliance guys were always second and third fiddles to the WWF guys.

Kanyon hits on Lita which is a lot more awkward in retrospect. She makes fun of his speech impediment.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Christian won the title last night. He makes fun of the former champion Edge pre-match and we get a solo Five Second Pose….or we would have if Jericho hadn’t interrupted. Jericho takes him down to start and chops away. Christian comes back with punches and knocks Jericho into the corner. Backbreaker gets two. Jericho hits the forearm and avoids a dropkick. Christian avoids the Lionsault and rolls to the floor. A bell shot draws the LAME DQ to end this. Nothing match.

Christian loads up the Conchairto but Jericho avoids it and hooks the Walls.

X-Pac is sitting in Regal’s chair when the Commissioner comes in. Pac complains about his lack of TV time despite having two titles. Regal rips into him and says that it’s Pac vs. Regal tonight.

We get America the Beautiful from last night which is by one of those women singers that basically screech the words but it’s called great for some reason.

Raven asks RVD for advice about how depressed he’s been lately. RVD suggests being more positive about being negative. Raven thanks him and leaves when Stephanie comes in. She says win and you’re the leader of the Alliance. Some mild sexual tension is teased.

Matt Hardy vs. Kanyon

Matt punches him down to start and hits a moonsault press for two. Kanyon takes him down and heads to hit on Lita, who slaps the taste out of his mouth. Back in Kanyon drives Matt’s head into the mat for two. Kanyon talks to Lita more and gets rolled up for two. A bad Russian legsweep by Matt puts both guys down. They go to the corner with Kanyon getting shoved down and the middle rope legdrop sends Kanyon to the outside. Lita hits her hurricanrana off the steps. Twist of Fate is countered and Matt is shoved into Lita. Flatliner gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here and as usual it doesn’t mean anything. These one night made feuds and their resolutions were fine for filling in TV time but it didn’t help anything long term. This was just ok as Matt was nowhere near what he would become yet (take that for what you will) and Kanyon still didn’t mean much.

EXTREME CLOSEUP of DDP who is very positive now. He’s into the motivational speaker gimmick now.

We go to WWF New York with the Tough Enough finalists. The five finalists are Nidia, Taylor (cute but never did anything), Chris Harvard, Maven and Josh Matthews, who looks like more of a tool than he does now.

Rock brags about retaining the title last night and now he has RVD. As for Stephanie, if she cheats she’s going to get a birthday spanking. She’s 25 tonight. He singe a version of Happy Birthday to her as well: “Happy Birthday to Steph, you’re a ho with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if ya smell what the Rock is cooking.” Ok that was awesome.

William Regal vs. X-Pac

Regal knocks him down but gets caught in a suplex for two. Bronco Buster hits and Regal comes back with the Regal Cutter for the pin. What in the freaking world was the point of this?

WCW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Rock

Since Shane is barred from ringside for some reason, Stephanie comes out to watch the match. Rob counters a headlock and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Rock Bottom is countered as well and they head to the floor. A clothesline puts Van Dam down but Rob comes back with the spinning kick to Rock who is draped over the barricade. Back in the top rope kick gets two.

Rock grabs a belly to belly for two. Back to the floor and Rob loads up the announce table, only to get punched in the face for his troubles. Rock throws him onto the table but Van Dam bounces off of it. Back inside a spinebuster gets two. RVD kicks him down and tries the split legged moonsault but Rock moves. Stephanie slaps Rock into a rollup for two. Rock hits a DDT and the Sharpshooter goes on but Stephanie comes in again. He chases her up the aisle and throws her back in as Van Dam slams him down. He gets ready for the Five Star but Stephanie shoves the referee into the ropes. Rock Bottom gives Rock the win.

Rating: C-. We’ll continue the running theme tonight by talking about how this is another problem the Invasion had: this match wasn’t about RVD, it wasn’t about the WCW Title and it wasn’t about the Invasion. This match was about Stephanie and how The Rock wants to ruin her birthday. That’s a fun single night thing and the more I get to see mid-20s Stephanie the happier I am, but this doesn’t do a thing long term. It doesn’t set up a PPV match, it doesn’t give Rock a new challenge, it doesn’t do anything. That’s fine once in awhile, but this is like the fourth week in a row. That’s not good.

Austin never arrived.

Overall Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for me. It’s a total throwaway show with nothing happening and the whole thing being about Stephanie and her birthday with the usual world title matches that meant nothing at all. No Austin, so that went nowhere (nice bait and switch guys) and Angle and/or Rock have no opponents yet, so what was the point of this? Oh yeah, Stephanie is 25 now. Pointless show.

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