The place went nuts when his music hit.  Del Rio has just finished a handicap match against Swagger and Colter.  Ziggler……WON THE TITLE with the Zig Zag.  New Champion!

I kid you not.During his opening promo he did a dance, during which he said he was going to shake, so he shook his hips.  Then he said he was going to kick a little bit, so he kicked his foot up.  Then he slid his foot around the mat and said “maybe a little heel turn too?”

Yeah he’s still a face but the joke was funny.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,653
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is from the Raw after Wrestlemania and was a request. HHH has lost the world title to Batista last night so this is the start of a new era in a sense. Looking at the rest of the card (which is pretty short in the first place), we’ve got Edge vs. Benoit which should be good. I’m not sure what else to expect tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a Wrestlemania recap set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down. They’re my favorite band so I’m not complaining here. It transitions to another song that I don’t recognize. It was the show where Cena and Batista won their first world titles, plus there was the first MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn’s classic. If it ran about 45 minutes shorter, it would be one of the best ever. With that extra time though, it’s just a good show.

Here’s HHH to open the show. You know, the guy that lost last night. The Game can’t get anything in because of the Batista chants. He admits that he lost the title but goes into a huge rant about how the Batista Era isn’t beginning because he was on for one night only. HHH is great every night. You think he gives that same speech to Stephanie when she complains about things? HHH says he owns the title and the rematch is at Backlash. He’ll get the title back and ram it down all of our throats.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was when Shelton was the hottest star in the company not named Cena or Batista and he’s defending the title here. I think all three of these guys were in MITB last night. Yeah they were. Thanks JR. JR then loses his credibility for this match saying Shelton won the title off Jericho a few weeks ago. He won it in November JR. Shelton and Jericho square off but Christian wants some of that. He gets punched in the face for his efforts and double teamed.

Jericho and Shelton seem to team up for a bit but that breaks down quickly. Chris controls on the champion and hits the bulldog, but he’s too banged up for the Lionsault. Christian comes back in and sends Jericho to the floor so he can work on Shelton. Off to a chinlock as the fans chant CLB. Shelton loads up a superplex on Christian but Jericho comes in to powerbomb him, making it a Tower of Doom.

Everyone is down and Jericho gets two on Christian, then two on Shelton. Jericho fires off a forearm and enziguri on Christian but covers Shelton instead for some reason. Shelton sunset flips Jericho but Christian rolls him up for two. Jericho sunset flips BOTH of them at once for two. Stinger Splash from the champion hits Jericho and the Exploder puts him down, but Tomko pulls Shelton out. Jericho hooks the Walls on Christian but Shelton comes in with a springboard bulldog (looked GREAT) to Jericho for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this. The midcard was pretty awesome at this point with Shelton leading the way. Then he got lazy and stopped caring which really crippled his career. Anyway, at this point he rocked and couldn’t have a boring match if his life depended on it. When Christian and Jericho have trouble keeping up with you, that says a lot.

Edge is in the back with Bischoff and signs his contract for a world title shot. That’s the MITB contract I think. Bischoff asks if he wants to use it tonight but Edge says no, because he wants to pick his spot. Eric says you get Benoit tonight then.

Here’s Orton who lost to Taker last night. The fans chant for Undertaker and Orton says it wasn’t supposed to go that way. He talks about being chokeslammed and tombstoned last night. Orton claims a shoulder injury during the match last night and he would have reversed the Tombstone otherwise. But enough of that, because he wants to talk about Batista. He respects Undertaker but doesn’t respect Batista. Orton says he’s the future and wants Batista TONIGHT. Eric comes out and says that HHH gets the next shot because of his rematch clause. Orton says make the match tonight and Eric says ok.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Christy looks GREAT in blue. Christy is the Divas Search winner and Lita is training her. That doesn’t make her any good in the ring but she looks great. Trish is evil here and this is a rematch from last night. Before the bell ever rings, Trish KILLS Christy with a Chick Kick and knocks her out. Lita, still injured, gets in Trish’s face and they slug it out, but Trish kicks Lita in her injured knee and puts a hold on her. Trish walks out, but DANG that kick looked great.

We get a clip from last night with Muhammad Hassan jumping Eugene and beating him up until Hogan made the save. That’s still a great moment that I still watch from time to time. By clip, I mean the whole segment.

Here’s Shawn, limping after Angle destroyed his leg last night. He talks about how he gave it everything he had last night but things didn’t end like he planned. Shawn asks for a small favor: would anyone want to see a rematch? The fans want it so Shawn says he’ll do whatever he can do to make it happen.

Cue Hassan and Daivari to get on our nerves by speaking Farsi or whatever language that is. Hassan makes fun of Shawn for losing and says Shawn fears him because he’s Arab American. Shawn takes his jacket off and Hassan calls him a loser. This starts a brawl but Shawn’s knee gives out and he gets beaten down. Hassan puts him in a camel clutch to end this.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit has a bad left arm from last night. They brawl fairly slowly and Edge is knocked to the floor. Back in and a knee to the ribs puts Edge down. Benoit is having to fight tentatively because of the arm. Out to the floor again and Benoit fires off some chops. He slides back in and takes Edge down with a baseball slide. Coming back in, Edge drapes the arm over the top rope and Benoit is in trouble.

Edge works over the arm with a wristlock and a hammerlock. Benoit comes back with a trio of Germans, the third one being release style. He stupidly goes up but the Swan Dive misses and the arm hits the mat again. Benoit gets sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Edge working on the arm even more. During the break Benoit tried the Crossface but the arm gave out.

Edge cranks on the arm even more but goes up and is crotched. Benoit chops him on the corner and they trade headbutts. Benoit GOES OFF and hits a huge superplex to put both guys down. Here’s the Sharpshooter which Benoit wisely pulls on with the right arm. After about two minutes, Edge finally gets to the ropes. The bandage is off Benoit’s arm. He manages the Crossface but the arm gives out so Edge can escape. He DDTs the arm and loads up the spear, but Benoit sidesteps him to send Edge into the corner, letting Chris roll him up for the pin.

Rating: B. Two matches up, both very good so far. These two were always going to give you good matches and the arm injury was a really nice story to put into the match. Benoit would never reach the level he hit the previous year but he was always good for something like this. Edge would do little for the rest of the year before cashing in the case in January.

Edge rams Benoit’s arm into the steps post match. He also beats on it with a chair.

It’s time for an infomercial by Simon Dean for the Simon System with Maven as his protege. This isn’t going to end well. Simon says (get it?) that anyone, even the people in LA, can look like Maven using his system. He says that the people here are getting fat drinking beer. I think I can hear the glass shattering from here. Yep there it is. Austin makes fun of the system and says WHAT a lot. If you won’t know where this is going, I’ve failed you.

They agree to try each others’ drinks and Simon asks for a glass. Austin has none of that so Simon holds his nose. Simon does push-ups to work off the calories of the beer. They’re wasting Austin on this? Austin says do a bunch of push-ups which Simon does. Now it’s time for Austin to try the protein shake. Austin says the shake smells awful and won’t drink it. Maven says that’s because it’s a man’s drink and throws it on Austin. Stunners and beer abound for awhile.

Orton is coming to the ring and runs into Kane who makes fnu of him for losing.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. We get our first look at the guy that won the main event of Wrestlemania with less than eight minutes of air time left. The bell rings with less than six and a half minutes to go in the show. Orton shoves him into the corner but Big Dave powers out of it. Orton takes over and hooks a chinlock but Batista snapmares out of it.

They’re very clearly going through the motions here. Batista pounds on him and shoves him into the corner for the shoulders. He misses one though and Batista’s shoulder hits the post. Not that it really matters as he rams Orton’s face into the post. Back in the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb get the easy pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as these two never really had the big match that I think they were always expected to have. They should have had a great feud and rivalry on paper but it never really played out that way in reality. Not the worst match ever but for Batista’s first match as champion it didn’t work that well.

HHH comes out to applaud Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was mostly good here and the show was entertaining enough, but the main event did very little for Batista. This felt more like Austin was the main attraction or something like that. Not a bad show but there needed to be WAY more focus on Batista.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the history of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2013
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s finally the go home show for Wrestlemania which means we’re likely in for a slow evening tonight. These shows tend to be mainly talking with little action, as most of the wrestlers don’t want to risk injuries before the biggest night of the year. These shows don’t tend to do much, but to be fair most of the show on Sunday is already set in stone. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the three main events for the PPV and how all six guys will be around tonight to hype up Wrestlemania.

Here’s Cena to open the show. As the crowd is split, Cena talks about how this is a house divided. Just like in Washington DC politics, we have Cenacrats and Rockpublicans here tonight. Cena says that a year ago he would have come out here and made a stupid joke while Rock would have thrown Cena’s shirt in a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. This time the match is serious because Rock has done everything he’s ever set out to do. Therefore, Cena winning is impossible right? Just like Cena winning the Rumble and Cena beating Punk to go to Wrestlemania were impossible tasks right?

This Sunday is going to be different because Rock has already stuck his foot in his mouth. Cena had to put up with Rock establishing a new era in the WWE, but on Sunday in Rock’s first defense he’s losing his own era. However, Cena will continue the People’s Era after the mighty Rock experiences failure. Cena isn’t going to replace the WWE Championship when he wins it because he wants to hold it as a symbol. The fans chant boring for some reason. Cena says he’s going to get the title back and the champ will be here.

We stop for Lawler to make a Tout about who is going to win the match between Rock and Cena on Sunday. Lawler picks Rock.

3MB vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show

Orton and Slater start things off with Sheamus quickly coming in to work on Heath as well. Off to McIntyre who gets punched in the face and powerslammed down for no cover. 3MB finally uses their numbers to take Sheamus down in the corner but Slater walks into the Irish Curse. Hot tag brings in Show as everything breaks down. The brogue Kick puts Drew down and the WMD ends Mahal at 3:05.

Rating: C-. Total squash here which was what the entire idea was. The problem with this team is Shield is the only group that could give them a battle. Seeing them beat up 3MB isn’t going to do much good, but at least the match was short and we likely won’t have to see this again until Wrestlemania.

Shield comes down the aisle but stops halfway through. Ambrose congratulates them for such a big win. Rollins says Orton and company are only convincing themselves that they’re on the same page. Justice never lies and Shield knows the truth. That truth is that they’re not looking at a team but the people don’t believe in them. Once Sunday is over, the world will believe in the Shield.

Colter and Swagger were in Washington D.C. earlier today to talk about how America was broken. Swagger is the man to fix this because he’ll take care of the illegal immigrants and get them back to where they came from. He’ll start that at Wrestlemania by breaking the champion’s ankle as well as his spirit.

Del Rio says that America is a land of opportunity and Swagger has the right to free speech. If Del Rio doesn’t like what Swagger is saying, he can do something about it. Tonight it’s Del Rio vs. Colter and Zeb is a pinata with a mustache.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler grabs an armbar to start as AJ looks like her usual psycho self. Bryan fights back and catches Ziggler in a kind of spinebuster to send him into the corner. Bryan fires off some kicks to a kneeling Dolph and does his moonsault out of the corner. A clothesline puts Ziggler down but he makes the ropes before the NO Lock. Ziggler goes after the knee to take over before sending Bryan into the corner. A charge misses though and Bryan puts Ziggler in an old school Tarantula but has to stop to stare at Langston. Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for two and we take a break.

Back with Bryan kicking Ziggler in the face out of the corner before firing off some NO kicks to Ziggler’s shoulder and chest. Dolph misses a charge in the corner and Bryan fires off more kicks. A hard kick to the head looks to set up a Swan Dive but Bryan only hits mat. Both guys try cross bodies and crash to the mat as AJ starts skipping around Kane. The distraction lets Langston run over Kane and that distraction lets Ziggler roll up Bryan for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C+. Semi-botched ending aside (Bryan’s shoulder looked to be up) this was a hard hitting match. The problem is this doesn’t exactly make me want to see the match on Sunday. Langston looked good but it would be nice to see him in a match, even a squash, before Sunday. This was good for what it was but it didn’t accomplish much.

Post match Langston lays out the tag champions.

Here’s Shawn Michaels who says you can’t have Raw without him. Shawn lists off the major matches before getting around to HHH vs. Brock. He has some doubts about something but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH says he knows what he’s doing but Shawn says he doesn’t think so. Shawn thinks the situations the two of them in were very different.

When Shawn’s career was on the line, Shawn looked at someone he had great respect for and that respect was mutual. When Shawn lost, he was heartbroken but Undertaker was just as heartbroken. Undertaker never came out here and bragged because Taker cares about Shawn that much. Brock on the other hand respects no one and HHH doesn’t respect him either.

Lesnar is here for the money, but the two of them are here for love of the sport. HHH loves it more than Shawn though because it’s HHH’s life. HHH says Shawn can’t talk him out of it, but that’s not Michaels’ point. Shawn is here to tell HHH that he HAS to do this. He’s going to be in HHH’s corner but before they can do the catchphrase, here are Brock and Heyman. Heyman says Brock has two words for HHH but doesn’t say what they are yet.

HHH is going to have to live with the disappointment of the McMahons because he won’t be able to fight Vince’s battles anymore. He’s used to disappointing his wife and he’s going to disappoint Shawn too. Brock might break Shawn’s arm again because that’s what Lesnar does. HHH should have walked away like Shawn did because now he’s going to have to crawl away. Lesnar has forced HHH to commit professional suicide.

Wade Barrett vs. Zack Ryder

Miz is on commentary and will meet Barrett for the title on the preshow. Barrett kicks him in the ribs to start and gets two off a fast suplex. Ryder goes up top but is pulled down for another two count and Wade drops an elbow. A big boot puts Ryder on the floor but Barrett stops to jaw with Miz. Back in and Ryder hits a flapjack and some hard forearms to the head. The Broski Boot gets two but Barrett blocks the knees in the corner. The Bull Hammer ends Ryder at 3:46.

Rating: C-. Total squash here and a dull one for the most part. Barrett winning is nice but I’m glad the title match is going to be on the preshow as it’s the least interesting match in a long time. Nothing to see here for the most part as it was just there to push the idea of Miz causing problems for Barrett….which he didn’t do.

Santino tells Vickie and Brad Maddox that Vince is here and he’s MAD. Oh and April Fool’s. Santino gets a match as punishment.

Santino Marella vs. Mark Henry

Santino fires off some kicks and goes right for the Cobra, only to be run over by Henry. World’s Strongest Slam and we’re done in 52 seconds.

Post match here’s Ryback but Henry says hang on a second. Henry says that nearly breaking a bench press record doesn’t give Ryback the right to intimidate Henry. Besides, they have a no contact clause. Tonight, all Henry is going to do is smile. Ryback responds by picking up Santino and ramming him into Henry. Mark is knocked to the floor, so Ryback picks Santino up and throws him onto Henry.

Punk says he doesn’t care if he’s disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer. He’s trying to get inside Undertaker’s head so he can win. Punk says that on Sunday, the only thing people are going to remember is Undertaker losing.

Zeb Colter vs. Alberto Del Rio

Swagger goes after Ricardo and the distraction lets Colter hit Del Rio in the back with a crutch for the DQ at 50 seconds.

Post match Swagger takes out the champion’s knee and beats on him with the crutch.

Here’s Rock with something to say. Rock says he’s here because of the connection between himself and the fans. He’s here to go to Wrestlemania and take it to John Cena before beating him all over Wrestlemania. Rock says he and Cena could change the world if the people will it. He gets on a bizarre tangent about being President someday and that he’s glad he can count on all of the fans’ votes.

When he’s inaugurated, he’ll start his speed by saying FINALLY he’s come back to Washington D.C. On Sunday, Cena’s time is never and it’s not about passing the torch, because the only way that happens is if Rock lights the belt on fire and puts it inside Cena. On Sunday, Cena is facing both Rock and the MILLIONS, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro throws him around to start but walks into a dropkick for two. A quick chinlock by the US Champion (non-title here of course) is broken up and Jericho loads up a top rope rana for two. Cue Fandango as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a cravate as Fandango is scoring Jericho’s moves. Cesaro pounds away for a few two counts and sends Jericho out to the floor before cranking on his neck some more. Antonio yodels a bit before charging into Jericho in the corner to pound away.

Jericho comes back with a top rope ax handle (4 from Fandango) and the bulldog to set up the Lionsault (3). Cesaro counters the Walls in a SWEET spin out into the gutwrench suplex for two. Jericho chops him down and goes up for a cross body (4) but he dropkicks Fandango down, allowing Cesaro to roll Chris up for two. Not that it matters as Jericho hooks the Walls for the tap out at 12:47.

Rating: C. My but this was disappointing. At the end of the day, Cesaro has been depushed harder than anyone I can remember since Zack Ryder and for no apparent reason other than the boredom of the writers. He’s a total jobber at this point and is US Champion for no apparent reason. Jericho better put Fandango over STRONG on Sunday.

Fandango destroys Jericho post match and hits two guillotine legdrops for good measure.

Stephanie McMahon is inducting Trish Stratus into the Hall of Fame.

We get some fan Touts on who wins between Rock vs. Cena.

Bella Twins vs. Funkadactyls

Naomi and we’ll say Brie start things off with Naomi taking the Bella down with the Rear View. I’ll let you figure out what she did there. Off to Nikki to crank on Naomi’s arm with an armbar as Tensai and Brodus play cheerleader. Naomi botches a sunset flip and it’s back to the armbar. She fights back and it’s off to Cameron for a bouncing headscissors on I think Brie. A legdrop hits Brie and a good DDT gets no count as Nikki makes the save. Everything breaks down and Nikki rolls through a Cameron cross body for the Bellas win at 4:46.

Rating: D+. The Bellas are intense and looked good in their tiny outfits, but at the end of the day there’s nothing to be seen in the ring. Cameron was especially bad and brought the athletic Naomi down. The eight person tag on Sunday should be ok but other than that there isn’t much to be seen here.

Here’s Undertaker for his “verbal evisceration” of CM Punk. Punk’s title reign lasted over 400 days but his punishment is going to last for eternity. The disrespect for Paul Bearer will cause Punk to pay the ultimate price. This brings out druids with torches but Undertaker looks surprised to see them. We hear Bearer’s OH YEEEEEES and here’s Heyman in a Bearer disguise.

Taker has had enough and goes up the ramp, only to be stopped by….nothing at all. Instead he beats up the druids to find Punk but picks the wrong one. Punk hits him in the ribs with the Urn and a few shots to the back for good measure. Punk yells that it’s over and that it’s going to be 20-1. With Undertaker down, Punk POURS THE ASHES ONTO UNDERTAKER.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is perfect for this show. It was kind of entertaining and didn’t drag for the most part, but the show didn’t make me want to watch Wrestlemania any more or any less than I already wanted to. It enforced the matches well enough but didn’t do anything to excite me. Therefore, it’s right in the middle.

Results

Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show b. 3MB – WMD to Mahal

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup

Wade Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Bull Hammer

Mark Henry b. Santino Marella – World’s Strongest Slam

Alberto Del Rio b. Zeb Colter via DQ when Colter used a crutch

Chris Jericho b. Antonio Cesaro – Walls of Jericho

Bella Twins b. Funkadactyls – Rollup to Cameron

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s hard to believe that we’ve got less than two weeks before Wrestlemania. Pretty much everything is set and for the first time in weeks tonight, the WWE Champion is here to hype up the title match against Cena. Other than that we aren’t likely to get anything of note because the entire card is either set or obvious at this point. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of all of the major feuds for Wrestlemania.

Here are Punk and Heyman to open the show. Punk throws the urn in the air before setting it on the mat. He talks about Undertaker being the mystical being that Undertaker is built up as and how the urn gives Undertaker his powers. Apparently “they” say it all the time. Who are they actually? Punk says they are irrelevant and he’s the only one that matters. Last year, Undertaker hit 20-0 and the match had the perfect ending. Instead of skipping off with HHH and HBK, Undertaker came out here and pointed at Punk’s Wrestlemania sign.

The fans chant for ECW and Punk says “speaking of dead things.” Punk drops the urn because it means nothing to him, just like the Undertaker and his Streak. He’s the 1 in 20-1 and at Wrestlemania, the Streak will Rest in Peace. There go the lights and as they come back up, Undertaker is in the ring and pounding away on Punk. Heyman runs off with the urn as Punk escapes.

Fandango omes out for a match but before he can have an opponent announced, Jericho runs out and beats down Fandango with a vengeance. Fandango and his dancing chick run away and here’s Dolph Ziggler instead. Apparently this was a match for later but instead it’s happening now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho takes him down to the match before pounding away at Ziggler’s head. A quick attempt at the Walls are countered but Dolph charges into an elbow in the corner. Jericho hits a top rope cross body for two and we take a break. Back with Jericho in a chinlock before coming back with a rollup for two. Dolph dropkicks him down for two of his own and hooks an abdominal stretch on the Canadian. Chris fights back and hits a top rope ax handle and the bulldog, but has to take out Langston with a springboard dropkick. A DDT gets two for Dolph but a Fameasser attempt is countered into the Walls for the tap at 5:53.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Jericho winning, although the booking continues to be stupid. Ziggler gets off a losing streak to go on a winning streak for the last few weeks, only to be jobbed out to Jericho to set up Fandango vs. Jericho. Now, Kofi loses, Ziggler loses, and Jericho is about to be beaten down by Fandango so Jericho looks weak. That’s WWE’s booking issues in a nutshell. With a roster as deep as they have, there is no reason to have Ziggler need to do this job. None.

Post match Langston hits the Big Ending on Jericho and here’s Fandango for another beating on Jericho.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Sheamus and Big Show arguing after beating 3MB, only to band together to glare at Shield. Sheamus is about to say something about that incident but Shield beats him down. Orton tries to make the save with a chair but gets beaten down as well. Big Show makes the real save.

Mark Henry vs. Usos

I believe that’s Jey starting things off but does it really matter? Henry throws him around but the Usos both hit superkicks to actually put him down. The Superfly Splash from Jimmy gets two but Henry sends Jey FLYING off the apron and into the barricade. A big clothesline on Jimmy and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Jimmy at 1:45.

Post match Jey gets a Slam of his own. Both guys are splashed too.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ricardo is here on crutches and his ankle is in a cast. Feeling out process to start with Cesaro taking over via a European uppercut. Off to a cravate but Del Rio comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He loads up the low superkick but here’s Zeb Colter for a distraction. Cesaro gets in some shots but as Del Rio loads up a superplex, Swagger comes out and attacks Ricardo again. Del Rio chases after Swagger and beats him up in the crowd for the countout at 3:20. I’m not going to bother rating this as a good deal of the match was spent on the outside interference stuff.

Post match Del Rio beats up Cesaro despite the loss being his own fault.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Titus and Kane start with the masked man taking over almost immediately. Off to Bryan for some kicks in the corner and it’s back to Kane for more punishment of the Players. Here are Ziggler and Langston to distract Bryan and let the Players take over. Titus suplexes Darren onto Bryan for two and it’s off to a body vice by Young. Bryan fights up and brings in Kane for the side slam on Darren. Bryan takes out Titus with the running knee to the floor and the chokeslam ends Young at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Just a glorified squash here which didn’t do anything of note for anyone. It’s not like Langston and Ziggler did anything here other than make the match last a bit longer, so why should I want to see these teams fight now? Does anyone remember why they’re fighting in the first place? By the way that’s rhetorical. Don’t leave me comments explaining what started this because I remember it. My point is it wasn’t significant or memorable and WWE doesn’t ever remind it to us because they expect everyone to remember every single thing EVER.

Another example of this would be Lawler talking about washrags when Titus was in there. If you don’t remember that, you’re not alone. That was mentioned ONCE in a match back like last year, but Lawler brings it up whenever Titus is in there. If you didn’t see that ONE probably five minute tag match, you likely don’t get the joke. I barely remember it because it was a stupid discussion from that many months ago, but WWE brings it up like it went on for months and everyone knows it. That’s really stupid and annoying when they do it with such stupid stuff like that.

We recap HHH and Lesnar’s contract signing from last week.

Here’s HHH to talk about the match with Lesnar some more. If he loses at Wrestlemania it’s the end of his career. The thing is if you go to the ring thinking you’re going to lose, you’re already done because Lesnar is a destroyer. HHH has fought like his life and career depended on it every night for twenty years so these stipulations aren’t some coup for Heyman. It’s Lesnar that needs to fight like his career is on the line because that’s what he has to do. HHH isn’t coming to wrestle and he isn’t coming to fight. He’s coming to hurt Brock.

As HHH leaves, Wade Barrett interrupts him and stares HHH down. HHH kicks him low and keeps walking.

Wade Barrett vs. The Miz

Barrett is in agony here so Miz hits a quick atomic drop to mess with Barrett even more. The Figure Four is escaped as the champion (non-title here) bails to the floor. Back in and Miz hits a few more atomic drops but can’t hook the Skull Crushing Finale. Barrett pounds away as the announcers talk about movies. Off to a chinlock by the champion but Miz fights up and backdrops Wade out to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts Wade down again and we take a break.

Back with Barrett pounding away at Miz in the ropes and kicking him out to the floor. Back in and Miz avoids a charge before firing off some left hands. The corner clothesline sets up the top rope ax handle for two but Barrett rolls out of the Finale. The Winds of Change get two for Barrett but Wasteland is countered. Miz dropkicks the knee out but the Figure Four is countered again. Barrett gets a rollup for two and a low kick to the head for the same. The Bull Hammer misses and Barrett crotches himself on the top rope after missing a big boot. Figure Four gets the tap out at 12:08.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad and that’s a Wrestlemania match for you. No one cares about Barrett or the title, but it’s nice to see the match getting a spot on the biggest show of the year again. The Figure Four still doesn’t work for Miz, and I really didn’t need a match with the main focus being Barrett’s crotch, but the match wasn’t bad.

Bryan and Kane have a mini-argument about Kane’s mental stability before getting into a full argument about AJ. Kaitlyn pops up to say chill because she was the one screwed over by AJ. AJ is behind them as they argue. Kailtyn says AJ is a nutjob and AJ blasts her.

Shield vs. Great Khali/Zack Ryder/Justin Gabriel

Khali chops at Rollins to start but once Ryder comes in things fall apart. A middle rope dropkick misses Ambrose and the Shield takes over. Off to Gabriel vs. Reigns with Justin trying to speed things up. Ambrose gets a blind tag and clotheslines Gabriel’s head off. Dean puts on a surfboard hold as Rollins hits a top rope knee drop for the pin on Gabriel at 2:30.

Post match Khali tries to fight off the Shield but gets caught in the TripleBomb. Cue Sheamus, Orton and Big Show for the big brawl.

We recap Jericho and Fandango from earlier. Jericho is MAD and says he’s like a target now because of what he’s done over the years. He’s sporting a black eye here and apparently it’s Jericho vs. Fandango at Wrestlemania.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars

Brodus and Sandow start things off but it’s quickly off to Tensai for some double teaming. Tensai misses a splash though and it’s off to Rhodes for an armbar. The not hot tag brings in Brodus who does his usual stuff like the throw and splash on Cody. The Bellas and Funkadactyls get in a brawl on the floor, allowing Rhodes to hit the Disaster Kick for the pin on Clay at 2:30.

Another video on G.I. Joe 2.

3MB vs. Ryback

Handicap match here with Slater starting for the band. A quick Thesz Press puts Heath down and there’s a splash for no cover. Off to Drew who is rammed into the corner for some hard shoulder blocks. After cleaning out the ring, Ryback is caught by a big boot from McIntyre to take over. Slater puts on a front facelock but Ryback easily throws him off. After the token beating from 3MB, Ryback fights back and throws Slater around a big. The double Shell Shock to Mahal and Slater are enough to pin Heath at 4:04.

Rating: D+. What do you expect here? Ryback did this for like a year and no one is surprised that he can do it again here, other than Cole and Lawler of course. Nothing to see here for the most part, but Ryback and Henry one upping each other with the destruction isn’t a bad idea.

Ryback and Henry have a weightlifting competition on Friday.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is inducting Sammartino into the Hall of Fame.

AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn

Non-title here. Kaitlyn erupts on AJ to start and pounds her down, only to be slapped down by AJ. Kaitlyn will have none of that and hits a fireman’s carry gutbuster to send AJ to the outside. The spear misses AJ and hits the barricade, drawing a countout at 2:02.

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

It’s time for the final segment of the show: a Q&A panel with legends asking questions to Rock and Cena. Lawler is moderating and the panel is Booker T, Mick Foley, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart. Ric Flair was supposed to be part of this panel but health issues kept him out of the segment. Rock barely gets a reaction as this crowd is exhausted.

Foley gets to ask the first question and talks about losing the fall at Wrestlemania XX which was supposed to be Rock’s last match. He says that it was a relief that Cena lost the match because it wasn’t Rock’s Wrestlemania swan song. Foley’s question is to Cena: can he handle losing to Rock again? Cena says that he wins everything at once if he wins but losing is definitely an option as it was last year.

He brings up former Eagles’ quarterback Donovan McNabb who was famous for getting deep into the playoffs but never winning a Super Bowl. The fans don’t like McNabb because it’s all about winning the big one. Cena is great but he needs that big win. Rock however can’t live with failure.

The champion responds by telling a familiar story about getting his mattress out of a dumpster. Then six months later he got his shot in the WWE but blew out his knee six months later. Then he worked even harder and came back, asking for a mic. Then Rock became the youngest WWE Champion ever and headlined Wrestlemania 15, right here in this very city. Cue FINALLY of course. Rock came into Philly with a Pat’s cheese steak in one hand and the WWE Title in the other….and Steve Austin beat him for the title. Rock came back as the hardest working man ever and the man that is beating Cena in thirteen days.

Bret (now with gray hair) says that both Rock and Cena are his friends but he didn’t like it last year when this became too close to Bret vs. Shawn. What changed? Rock says that it was two guys going at it for over 30 minutes and after Rock won, Cena took it like a man. Cena talks about calling Rock out years ago in an interview and then Rock proved it. After last year, Cena thought Rock was walking out but then Rock said he wanted to be WWE Champion and did just that.

Booker asks why Cena thinks he can win and John says it’s because he has to. Rock isn’t impressed and wants to know why Cena thinks that. Cena goes off by saying that Rock can’t beat him. Cena beat himself last year by making one bad decision. Every single week for ten years, Cena has come out to a mixed reaction but he’s walked through it. Only Rock has been able to get inside Cena’s head and after Cena survived everything Rock threw at him, Cena tried something stupid by trying the People’s Elbow and beat himself. John knows he’s better than Rock and says Rock knows it too.

Rock says he knows if Cena knew he had Rock beat, he would have beaten him. Cena threw everything he had at Rock and Rock kept kicking out. Rock talks about growing up idolizing Ric Flair who said to be the man you have to beat the man. Cena can’t beat the man, because he isn’t the man. John will never, and the Rock means never, beat the Rock.

Dusty likes them taking the gloves off and asks both guys what they want on April 7 (third time they’ve said the date of the show because the top guys know how to sell a show). Cena wants to win the big one and dominate the Rock. He’s going to prove that he’s better when Rock is looking up at the sky. Rock says he won’t be haunted by Cena and wants to fight right now. Cena says you can’t see me and gets shoved. AA is countered into a Rock Bottom and Rock stares at Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t awful but say it with me: it dragged because it ran for three hours. It’s not terrible or anything but there’s nothing of note here until the ending which was more like what the world title feud was needing. The problem with the build at this point is that nothing is really exciting for whatever reason it may have. Cena vs. Rock will draw, but it would be nice to see the company actually try instead of just going on reputation alone.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Dolph Ziggler – Walls of Jericho

Mark Henry b. Usos – World’s Strongest Slam to Jimmy Uso

Antonio Cesaro b. Alberto Del Rio via countout

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young

Shield b. Great Khali/Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder – Top rope knee drop to Gabriel

Rhodes Scholars b. Tensai/Brodus Clay – Disaster Kick to Clay

Ryback b. 3MB – Shell Shock to Slater

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well as you know there’s usually a reason as to why I do these random Raws and in this case this is the first ever WWE Draft. Tonight we split the roster in two to have Raw and Smackdown as independent (yeah right) shows with different owners (Flair on Raw, Vince on Smackdown) in the system we’re used to now. This was also 8 days after Mania so we’re still kind of transitioning to the new year. Let’s get to it.

Linda introduces us to the concept of the Draft where tonight we’re only going to have twenty picks, as in ten each. There’s a world title match tonight with HHH vs. Jericho vs. Stephanie so none of them can be drafted. Also Austin is undraftable uh…..because he’s bald. That’s as good an explanation as any (the official reason is he had it in his contract. How was that contract written? “In the event that the roster becomes too big to sustain one roster and must be split in half under a concept called the Brand Split I get to not be drafted? Imagine those negotiations. In reality he was having a contract dispute and wasn’t signed).

Taz vs. Mr. Perfect

Hennig had made a comeback here at age 44 where he still looked solid out there. He would be gone in like three months after getting very drunk on a plane. He would be dead in less than a year which is mind blowing. Hennig says he’ll be the perfect pick and sounds a bit shall we say buzzed. Jazz and whoever winds up being world champion can be on both shows apparently. Perfectplex but Taz gets the ropes. They collide in the corner and Taz grabs the Tazmission to end this QUICK. Taz says Hennig was JUST ANOTHER VICTIM. He was getting popular around this time too but his neck gave out and he had to retire.

Rating: N/A. Way too short but competitive enough. Perfect was still rather good and looked exactly like he did in his prime. Shame his personal life was more or less a disaster because he could have been used as a solid midcard guy.

The owners are both in their war rooms going over their plans. Vince has the first pick.

After a break we’re ready for said pick. We get a brief speech and the #1 overall pick is The Rock. Can’t say that’s a bad way to go. Hard to believe he more or less had a year left. Rock comes out and Vince runs down a bunch of stuff Rock can’t do anymore, namely catchphrases he can’t say. Rock stops him from leaving and proceeds to make fun of Vince, leading the crowd in a huge YOU ARE A CENSORED chant. He’s just absolutely awesome here. This was rather funny. Rock does one last IF YA SMELL since it’s his last night on Raw which is a nice touch.

We’re back and it’s time for Flair’s first pick. With nothing special to say, he picks the Undertaker who was in a big feud with Flair around this time. Wow it’s weird to think about Taker being on Raw. He throws some stuff and we get a nice little graphic with Taker’s stats on it. Rock got the same.

Vince is ticked and Angle comes in to complain. Taker does the same and threatens Vince. It’s very weird to think that Taker started on Raw but he would be on Smackdown in about 4 months and has been there since.

Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T/Christian

These were both singles matches at Mania where both faces won. Edge was getting very hot very fast at this point and probably would have been world champion within a year had he not gotten hurt. Christian has the awesome entrance here with the high pitched singers saying AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOU OWN! I love that. It comes complete with Alberto’s current pyro. Christian cost DDP the European Title recently as well. Oh and Angle cost Edge a match vs. Booker.

The Draft Lottery is plugged even though most of the picks meant nothing. Edge and Booker start us off. This is another very short match where the Canadians go to the floor and DDP gets a Diamond Cutter on Booker. Christian with a save and Edge misses a spin kick by a mile but Christian doesn’t sell much of it, which I think was intentional. Axe Kick kills DDP for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was another very short one although it was better than the first match. Nothing all that bad in here but when a match barely breaks two minutes it’s kind of hard to say if it was good or not. With such little time how can they get anything going at all? This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t very good either.

Angle lists off a ton of his accomplishments to Vince in an attempt to be the #2 pick which is rather funny. Vince wants the NWO though, which apparently is drafted as a unit. Vince takes Angle as the second pick after some nice psychology from Angle, but Kurt ticked about not being #1.

Flair immediately hits the stage and says he’ll do everything he can do to get Austin on Raw, which he would do. Flair takes the entire NWO (Hall, Nash and X-Pac) in a surprise. Vince is FURIOUS but vows to get Austin. Angle talks to him a bit and Vince takes Benoit who was still out injured. Oddly enough when he came back he started on Raw before moving over to Smackdown.

The NWO yells at Flair. Pac, who has been there since Thursday (literally) is now their mouthpiece. Hall says you don’t blow us off so Flair makes his #3 pick, who is designed to look after the NWO: Kane. Ok then. In other words on Smackdown we have Rock, Angle and Benoit. On Raw we have Nash (injured), Hall (fat), Waltman (overrated), Taker (AWFUL at this point) and Kane (you know the drill here). Which show would you rather watch?

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory is back and this is some kind of a small grudge. Yeah there’s nothing to talk about here. Trish wins in about two minutes with Stratusfaction. No rating either. Totally worthless.

Vince comes out again and gets the chant Rock invented earlier. He takes Hogan, who is incorrectly listed as a 7 time WCW Champion. Ah apparently they’re including the Bash at the Beach title here. Vince doing Hogan’s air guitar is rather funny.

After a break, Flair comes out to take RVD who brings the IC Title with him.

Vince is mad about losing the IC Title so Angle suggests a match between him and RVD for the title tonight so Angle can bring it Smackdown.

Rock is walking around backstage and Hogan comes up to him. The bald one suggests a handicap match vs. the NWO. Well what kind of a huge face would Rock be if he said no?

Vince is here to make his next pick (5th overall if you’re keeping track) and he picks Billy and Chuck who are the tag champions.

Tough Enough 2 commercial. I had my first kiss while that show was going on in the background.

Somehow the boot of the week is a chair shot. No one accused WWE of making sense all the time.

NWO vs. Hulk Hogan/The Rock

This is Nash’s first match in the company I think since his return. Ah scratch that as I’m wrong actually. It was one of his first though. Hogan and X-Pac start us off here which is a RIVETING match indeed. And Hogan throws him to the floor immediately in a nice power display. Hall comes in and fails also so we switch to Nash. Amazingly all Hogan seems to do is punch.

Hot tag to the Rock and we CRANK it up. We shift from an 80s style to a 90s style and it’s much more interesting. Cold tag to Hogan and the crowd just dies. Pac makes the save as it’s all breaking down. He breaks out the knunchucks and here comes Kane since he’s the guy taking care of the NWO and he clears house, giving the NWO the win.

Rating: D. Weak match but Rock was interesting. This wasn’t much at all and with five minutes how big of a match can it be? This is the last match on Raw for Hogan and Rock? This is the best they can do? That’s hardly a good sign. This was really rather weak all things considered.

Vince comes into Flair’s office to yell about various things. Flair takes Booker. Vince takes Edge. Flair takes Big Show. Vince takes Rikishi. They’re going that fast. So in other words: Nash, Hall, Waltman, Taker, Kane and Big Show vs. Benoit, Rock, Angle and Edge. Who do you think wins in the long run here? Keep in mind that the NWO guys would all be gone in the second week of July, this is looking one sided to say the least. Come to think of it, a year after this Rock and Edge were gone too. Help is on the way however, as between now and August WWE would debut guys named Lesnar, Orton, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Like I said, this was a transitional period for the company. Oh and Shawn came back in the fall too.

Jeff Hardy vs. Billy Gunn

This is during the gay era for Billy and Chuck, culminating in a mind blowing ending when they were about to be married but the minister was Eric Bischoff with a prosthetic face on, pretending to be a senior citizen aged preacher. It legitimately got me. Another two minute match but Jeff getting a singles run was a new idea back then. Matt and Chuck fighting on the floor cause Jeff to miss the Swanton. Lita TOTALLY botches a rana on Rico but Jeff gets the pin on Billy anyway.

Rating: N/A. I’m really getting tired of these short matches. That botch was a sight though. Her legs didn’t even get close to around his head. Moving on.

Flair picks Bubba Ray Dudley so Vince takes D-Von. They actually were going to try to make Bubba a serious challenger, even giving him a world title shot on Raw and giving it time. D-Von became a preacher with a deacon named Batista. I think the latter was a bit more famous.

European Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

As Regal is coming to the ring, some HUGE muscle guy comes in and beats the living tar out of Rikishi, hitting a spinebuster and a SICK fireman’s carry spinout facebuster. You may know the move as the F5 and the guy as the current UFC World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar. I told you this was a transitional period. No match obviously.

Jazz is evil in New York.

Vince tries to get Brock but it’s not his pick so Flair takes him. Great to see that D-Von pick working for Vince. Vince takes Mark Henry. I actually laugh when I think of the comparison between those two. Flair takes the European William Regal so Vince takes Maven, the Hardcore Champion. Flair takes Lita. Those are the last two picks. Let’s stop for a minute here and go pick for pick and look at these selections with Vince’s coming first.

#1: Rock vs. Undertaker. That’s a tossup I guess as Rock was bigger at the time but Taker is better long term.
#2: Kurt Angle vs. NWO. Do I even need to make fun of this one?
#3: Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Vince wins this based on in ring work alone.
#4: Hulk Hogan vs. Rob Van Dam. Have to go Vince here again as RVD was never really that important in WWE. Close one though given the money Hogan probably commanded.
#5: Billy and Chuck vs. Booker T. Comedy team vs. future world champion. Hmm I wonder.
#6: Edge vs. Big Show. Vince gets another one.
#7: Rikishi vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Everyone loses.
#8: D-Von Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar. Actually you could make a case for Vince winning here as like I said Batista debuted shortly after this as D-Von’s enforcer. On paper though it’s really Flair in a landslide as Brock was a once in a lifetime find.
#9: Mark Henry vs. William Regal. Flair wins again.
#10: Maven vs. Lita. Eyebrows Huffman vs. a great rack. Flair finishes strong.

Vince has the better core and I think wins pretty easily here, especially since Brock was on Smackdown within 8 months. Also Raw wound up being boring as HECK soon after this.

Vince makes fun of Flair picking Lita because it’s going to be awful and a cesspool.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Angle grabs a German immediately. DAng Angle was good back then. RVD makes a short comeback to some very solid cheers. He sets for the Five Star but Angle hits the floor. And then Angle pulls the referee in front of the dropkick for the DQ. Edge comes down for the save.

Rating: N/A. Dude we can’t have these two get TV time? Are you kidding me? Where is the time going in this show considering how fast they’re making picks?

Stephanie says she’s going to win the title.

Undisputed Title: Stephanie McMahon vs. HHH vs. Chris Jericho

This is a triple threat and if Stephanie is pinned she’s out of the company. Jericho sends HHH to the floor and Stephanie lays down for Jericho but HHH makes the save. HHH won the title 8 days before this mind you. Totally boring match as the two wrestlers have to be on pins and needles so Stephanie doesn’t get exposed as being NOT A WRESTLER.

Stephanie slaps Jericho for some reason and they argue. Jericho goes for the Walls as this match needs to end. We know HHH isn’t losing so quit teasing us about it. HHH knocks Jericho down and stalks Stephanie. Pedigree is set up but Jericho hits a dropkick to stop it. Jericho grabs a title and a chair and through some odd stuff both HHH and Jericho get belt shots. Stephanie comes in and covers Jericho for two. She does this weird thing of lifting her leg on covers.

HHH gets caught in the Walls but Stephanie jumps on Jericho’s back. Pedigree gets two on Jericho and Stephanie makes the save. Spinebuster ends her and she’s gone….for four months until she became Smackdown’s GM. Security literally drags her away.

Rating: D-. Just horrible stuff here as HHH and Jericho more or less did nothing while this was about Stephanie all over again. What a shock right? She was the focus of just about everything for a good while and this would only get worse in 03/04 when Smackdown was ALL about her and Vince and their stupid feud for power. This was a glorified house show main event though and was really quite stupid.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bad show overall with the main event being the only thing to break 8 minutes. The picks are odd at best and stupid at worst with nothing really making that much sense at all. This was a bad show and the whole thing would just get worse as the year went on with Raw becoming the HHH show and no one really paying attention to how awesome Smackdown was. Oh and Shawn would come back and be instantly pushed to the top of the roster because he’s Shawn and a 4 year layoff is easy to come back from right? Bad show but huge for historical purposes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Rob Bartlett

If nothing else these On This Day reviews are letting me see a lot of old Monday Night Raw. We’re less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania which means it’s time to really hammer home the card for the biggest show of the year. Tonight is likely to have a lot of talking about the show without a lot of good wrestling to back it up, but that was the norm for these older shows. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the WWF stars at something called the Michael Landon Awards. This is set to A Whole New World from Aladdin of all things. Apparently this is for children’s leukemia research. Nothing wrong with that. Hogan gives a speech asking for leftovers for some reason. He introduces a video about how the wrestlers do what they do for the kids and how much kids love them. This comes off more like a fluff piece than anything else.

Now we get some clips from wrestlers telling us to not smoke or do drugs. Interestingly enough here, Vince is actually acknowledged as the president and CEO of the WWF. I don’t think that’s ever been mentioned before this. Back to the awards ceremony as Hogan talks about meeting a kid who died a few weeks later before introducing Vince who is receiving some award. Hogan sucks up to Vince for a bit, calling Vince a hero.

Vince comes out to accept the award to a sped up version of Gonna Fly Now from Rocky. He talks about how great it is to make a kid feel good for just a few moments and how good it feels to give a dying kid a feeling like that and take their minds off their problems for just a few moments. Vince accepts it on behalf of his superstars who really deserve it.

We’re now ten minutes into an hour long show. Thanks Vince.

Damien Demento/Repo Man vs. Bushwhackers

The Bushwhackers come out of the crowd for no apparent reason. We take a break and they’re STILL in the crowd. Damien and Butch finally start and Butch bites Demento’s trunks. Repo Man gets the same as you can feel the COMEDY. The Whackers clear the ring Things finally settle down to Luke vs. Repo Man with the heels double teaming a bit. Repo Man pounds on Luke a bit as this needs to end like NOW. The ice cold tag brings in Butch for some clotheslines and a double noggin knocker. Everything breaks down and the referee walks completely around a Butch cover without seeing it. Battering Ram pins Repo.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE and I have no idea who would think this was worth watching. The Bushwhackers were shockingly still employed at this point which stuns me more than anything else from 1993. Nothing to see here at all as this squash (I think that’s what it was at least) and it was ridiculously boring.

Reno Riggins vs. Tatanka

Riggins is one step up from the Brooklyn Brawler and gets caught in a backdrop just after the bell. Off to a quick sleeper by Tatanka and he chops away. There’s an armbar by Tatanka followed by some HARD chops in the corner. Tatanka misses a cross body out of the corner but after some very basic stuff from Riggins, it’s time for the War Path. Some chops and a powerslam set up the Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) for the pin on Riggins.

Rating: D. Somehow this is match of the night so far. Tatanka was a good guy at least fast paced and fun to watch, but at the end of the day being an Indian is only going to carry you so far as a gimmick. Also what kind of a name is a Papoose To Go? I know what it is, but what kind of a name is it for a finishing move? Is it clear I don’t have much to talk about here yet?

We hear about the formation of the WWF Hall of Fame and get the video for the first entrant; Andre the Giant. There’s some cool old footage in here. Andre would have died about two months before this show.

Money Inc. vs. Scott Rich/Jeff Armstrong

Money Inc.’s tag titles aren’t on the line. DiBiase and we’ll say Rich start things off. Vince doesn’t know which is which so why should I have to? A quick clothesline puts Rich on the floor as Bartlett is watching TV while on commentary. Thankfully he would be gone soon after this so we didn’t have to put up with his comedy anymore. Off to IRS vs. Armstrong for a bit before it’s quickly back to Ted. This needs to end already as well. Ted hits a powerslam and IRS clotheslines Rich down for the win. Next.

We get the Wrestlemania Report which is Gene Okerlynd in a studio hyping up the few announced matches we have so far. Oh and we’re going to have togas.

Kamala vs. Doink the Clown

Doink has a present for Kamala to start. I’ve seen them do this same bit on house show matches. Kamala wants the box but Doink gets in some chops to take over. Off to an armbar by the clown and he easily takes Kamala to the mat. Kamala finally fights up and armdrags Doink down before hitting a splash in the corner. We take a break and come back with Doink in control again. Kamala fights up and chops him out to the floor but it’s time for the box again. Kamala tries to open it up and gets counted out.

Rating: D. Erg end this stupid show already. This was another boring match that has been done better than it was here on other shows. Doink was such an interesting character but they turned him into a safe and fun character because that’s how the WWF worked back in the day. Also Kamala was mentioned to be facing Bam Bam Bigelow at Mania but that match was scrapped for some reason.

Post match Kamala sneaks up on Doink and chases him away.

We end the show with some fat chicks who are apparently the Rob Bartlett Fan Club.

A preview for the March to Wrestlemania special ends things.

Overall Rating: F-. This might have been the worst Raw I have ever seen. Nothing was built up for Mania, there were no good matches, the “comedy” wasn’t funny and it set up possibly the worst Wrestlemania of all time. I have no idea what they were thinking at this point but it needs to be tweeked FAST.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 18, 2013
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re another week closer to Wrestlemania and the main story tonight is that HHH is going to answer Brock Lesnar’s challenge for Wrestlemania and we’ll likely hear the stipulations that Lesnar has picked for the match. We’ll also likely get some changes to the six man tag that was set up on Smackdown due to Mark Henry attacking Ryback on Friday. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap of last week’s events.

Here’s Cena in a bright yellow shirt that makes him look like a bowl of corn. The fans are mixed on booing and cheering of course so Cena says that they have 20 days to pick a side. He has a message for Rock tonight though: his time is up and Cena’s time is now. Since the beginning of this year Cena has been on a roll and he isn’t going to let himself be overconfident going into Wrestlemania. Cena is interrupted by…..the Primetime Players.

Titus however is in coveralls and a big afro wig, calling himself Rufus “Pancake” Patterson and claiming to be Titus’ uncle. Cena says that Pittsburgh has some great doctors that can fix Titus’ multiple personalities. The Players do the Millions of Dollars dance with “Rufus” hurting his back because his gout is flaring up. Cena says he might see them at Wrestlemania but Titus says the fans don’t want to see him at Wrestlemania. Apparently Rufus is Darren’s uncle, not Titus’. He says that Darren should be on the Cocoa Pebbles box and is going to beat Cena up to prove it. Cena says ok and the match is on.

Darren Young vs. John Cena

Cena bulldogs Young down and tries the STF but Darren bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting his shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle and the AA for the pin at 4:16, about 3:30 of which was spent in a commercial.

Undertaker is here tonight.

We recap Mark Henry allowing Ryback to be attacked by Shield and then laying him out with World’s Strongest Slams.

Ryback vs. David Otunga

Otunga is powered into the corner to start and there’s a spinning powerslam for good measure. A spinebuster puts Otunga down and there’s the Meat Hook. Otunga is Shell Shocked for the pin at 1:37.

Post match Ryback says Orton, Sheamus and himself will be taking out the Shield at Wrestlemania. Here’s Mark Henry though, only to have Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero to stop him. Vickie takes Ryback out of the six man and puts him in a match against Henry at Wrestlemania instead. Ryback responds by picking Otunga up for the Shell Shock and saying this is Henry. Apparently the match is accepted.

Fandango debuts tonight. I’m sure.

Fandango vs. Great Khali

Fandango has a big arch of banners to walk through now and actually makes it to the ring. He also has an outline of his silhouette make of what looks like birthday candles. Ok he had a cool entrance. This is a result of Khali not being able to pronounce Fandango’s name on Smackdown. Before the match, Fandango calls Khali Stretch and says Khali is to stupid to pronounce Fandango correctly. Instead Natalya will get to try, after Fandango hits on her a bit. Natalya seems impressed by the dancer but pronounces the name as “Fan-DANG-Go-get-him-Khali”. Fandango runs away and there’ still no match.

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow

Truth is returning from an injury here. Sandow quotes Thoreau who once said he wanted truth. Apparently the R here stands for repugnant. Truth says “Your beard is weird, and you talk a lot. I got four sweet words for you: you gonna get got.” Apparently Sandow is a Kentucky Colonel (a title given to people who do good work for Kentucky). Ok then. Truth gets two off a sunset flip but Sandow stomps Truth down and tells us we’re welcome.

Off to a chinlock by Damien as Cole and Lawler get into a bizarre political tangent after saying Sandow’s family advises President Obama. Sandow hits the Wind-Up Elbow as Cole says Latin has been en vogue this week because of a new Pope. Truth comes back with a flying headscissors and a kick to the chin for two. Lawler actually makes a Manti Te’o joke because WWE’s writers are that far behind the times. Truth hits his ax kick and Sandow walks out for the countout at 3:41.

Rating: D. The match itself was nothing of note but I’m hardly a fan of R-Truth. The interesting part of this match though was the commentary, which was BIZARRE. We had jokes that were topical six weeks ago, references to Latin being en vogue, and discussion of honorary titles in Kentucky. It didn’t help the match though.

We recap Punk stealing Undertaker’s urn last week during the tribute to Paul Bearer.

Here’s Undertaker to say that Punk has one chance to save his soul and that’s if he gives the urn back right now. Punk pops up on screen and pretends to be the urn talking in Bearer’s voice. Punk says Bearer’s loss was a professional and personal one as well. Apparently Bearer’s spirit is in the urn. Punk implies he’ll get Undertaker disqualified or counted out to break the Streak.

Punk is juggling the urn as he talks about Undertaker answering to a higher power, but Punk doesn’t do so because he IS the higher power. He talks about being able to break the Streak because he can handle the pressure. Punk looks at the urn and says he’s the one that ends the Streak. He’s the one in 21 and he drops the urn. No disrespect intended by Punk of course. This felt like it ended abruptly.

HELL NO vs. Primo/Epico

Non-title as always. Kane pounds on Epico to start and he’s ticked off here. Off to Bryan with Epico on the floor but Primo jumps Daniel to take over. A SWEET spinning sunset flip off the top takes Bryan down but he rolls through and kicks Primo in the face for two. Off to Epico who is caught in an armbar almost immediately. Primo distracts Bryan to let Epico take over again. The cousins take turns on Bryan in the corner with Epico getting two off a slingshot hilo.

Off to a bow and arrow hold by Epico before Primo takes over with a shot to Bryan’s back and a chinlock. Bryan sends Primo down to the match by rolling through and it’s off to Kane to clean house. A side slam puts Primo down and there’s the top rope clothesline to put Primo down. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s AJ to skip around the ring. Primo tries a rollup but can only get two. Bryan dropkicks Primo and the chokeslam ends Epico at 6:08.

Rating: D+. This just kept going and going and felt like it would never end. I get where they’re going with AJ being out there but it would help if she actually, you know, did something here instead of just delaying this match even further. Nothing to see here for the most part and the match didn’t do anything for anyone.

Jericho is in the back talking about how he’s going to win the title tonight when Fandango comes up to say his name over and over again. Jericho pronounces it as Fandumbo and Fanjango and a few other things like Fan-Wango-Tango and Fan-B-I-N-G-O-and Bingo was his name-o-O. Fandango says Jericho will learn to pronounce the name properly. Jericho says he wants his movie tickets before Fandango leaves.

We hear about Alicia Fox and Natalya going to Rwanda on a charity/goodwill trip regarding malaria nets.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody Rhodes

Del Rio has a remixed entrance theme now. We get a clip of Del Rio’s left knee being hit by Swagger on Main Event. That would of course explain why his right knee is bandaged. A quick rollup gets two for Del Rio but Cody takes him down into a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the post, messing up his shoulder. By WWE logic, I guess that means he’ll be holding his nose now. Del Rio comes back with a snapmare and a kick to Cody’s leg to send him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cody stomping away in the corner but getting slammed down a few seconds later. Del Rio tries his middle rope moonsault but tweaks the knee on the way down. Cody works on the left leg now to make it a matched set before going for a superplex, only to have the champion counter into a front suplex off the top for two. Del Rio fires off some clotheslines and the low superkick for two. Cody pops up and hits a moonsault press for two as a USA chant breaks out. Del Rio fires off some shots the back and gets two off a backstabber. The cross armbreaker ends this at 12:39.

Rating: C. The match was a nice little affair with Cody getting to show off the insane potential he had about a year and a half ago before being sent down into tag team limbo for the last eighteen months. The match was nothing great but it was good enough to do what it was supposed to: make Del Rio look good.

Post match here’s Jack Swagger to beat on Del Rio but Alberto sends him into the barricade. Alberto goes after Colter but Swagger comes back and sends Del Rio into the steps and over the announce table. Swagger beats up Ricardo and puts him in the Patriot Lock for good measure. Ricardo screams a lot so maybe his ankle was broken.

Booker T is announced for the Hall of Fame.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. 3MB

Apparently Ricardo does have a broken ankle. It’s McIntyre and Slater here with Drew pounding away on Sheamus to start before it’s quickly off to Orton for some right hands. There are the ten forearms to the chest by Sheamus for two but a Mahal distraction lets Drew clothesline Sheamus down to take over. Sheamus comes back a few seconds later with an ax handle before it’s back to Orton. There are the powerslam and the Elevated DDT to Slater. A Brogue Kick puts McIntyre down and it’s the RKO to Slater for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here which did what it was supposed to do: give Sheamus and Orton a reason to be out there for the post match invasion by Shield. Seriously, that’s it. That’s why this match is happening. There’s nothing else to say about it but I’m going to keep typing to fill in more space in this area as Shield is surrounding the ring.

Shield comes out but so does Big Show to even the odds, sending the justice guys running away. Big Show points at the sign and I believe we’ve got a six man tag.

We get a trailer for G.I. Joe II.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

During the entrances we see Ziggler and Langston beating up HELL NO on Smackdown. Kofi starts with a quick armbar and some nice armdrags into another armbar. Back up and Kofi does his double leapfrogs into the back elbow for two. Dolph dropkicks Kingston down for two before hooking his headstand chinlock.

Kingston escapes and fires off some dropkicks of his own before hitting a spinning springboard frog splash for two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a reverse slam but Kingston escapes and goes to the apron. Kingston runs the apron and dives at Dolph but gets knocked out of the air by Langston. Back in the ring the Zig Zag ends Kofi at 4:38.

Rating: C-. This was the short version of Dolph vs. Kofi who can do this match in their sleep by this point. Again, this was there to set up the post match stuff which is a rather old school mentality to booking. It doesn’t mean it’s terrible, but it’s always tedious to me to sit through a match just to get to the stuff that actually matters.

Post match here’s HELL NO to challenge Langston and Ziggler for a match at Wrestlemania. AJ accepts for her guys if the titles are on the line. Bryan is cool with that and it’s YES chant time.

We recap the Punk/Taker stuff from earlier.

Long video on Rock vs. Cena II which is about redemption vs. greatness again.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett vs. Chris Jericho

Barrett is challenging here and goes after Jericho to start. Make that Miz actually but Jericho jumps Barrett and gets two off a clothesline. Miz is knocked to the floor and is quickly followed by Barrett, allowing the Canadian to dive on both of them. The fans chant for Jericho as he hits a dropkick for two on Wade back inside.

Miz pulls Jericho to the floor and gets two off a sunset flip on Barrett. The running corner clothesline staggers Wade again but he comes back by putting Miz on the top rope and hitting a knee to the ribs. The champion loads up a superplex but Jericho comes in to make it a Tower of Doom to put all three guys down as we take a break. Back with Barrett hitting a knee to Jericho’s ribs for two as Miz is down on the floor.

The champion puts on a chinlock for a few seconds before Jericho fights up and gets two off a top rope cross body. Miz breaks up the Lionsault though and hits his top rope ax handle to stagger Wade but he walks into the Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is escaped and Miz takes out Barrett’s leg. There’s the Figure Four but Jericho hits the Lionsault on Miz for a close two.

Barrett is put in the Walls but Miz comes back in, only to not be able to hook the Finale. Both guys backdrops Barrett to the floor and Jericho gets a VERY close two on Miz with a rollup. The Codebreaker puts Miz down but Chris can’t cover. Instead Barrett comes in and shoves Jericho out before covering Miz for two more. Jericho throws Barrett into the barricade and gets two on Miz. A quick DDT gets another near fall for Miz as does a big boot after Miz throws a charging Barrett back to the floor. Jericho grabs a fast rollup for two but jumps into the Finale, only to have Wade roll up Miz for the pin to retain at 12:20.

Rating: B-. This started slow but the stuff after the commercial was WAY better with a bunch of close near falls and false finishes. It doesn’t do anything for the title because we might get a quick match at Mania for it but then after that it sinks back into the nothingness that it’s been in for years.

We look at the premiere party for The Call.

Since this show isn’t long enough already, here are Touts from the fans about what fans think the stipulations for Lesnar vs. HHH should be.

Here’s HHH to sign the contract with Lesnar. Before anything happens, here’s Heyman with security around him. HHH is surprised Lesnar isn’t here, but Heyman loves the idea of backing HHH into a corner. HHH can either sign the contract stips unknown or disappoint all the fans. Heyman thinks this frustrates HHH so HHH makes fun of Heyman’s security. Lesnar has already signed the contract and HHH is ready to sign, but Heyman says not so fast.

First we need to see Vince getting attacked by Lesnar a few weeks back. Heyman then suggests HHH is blindfolded, but that’s not good enough. Then he and Lesnar thought of HHH having his hands and ankles shackled, but that would give HHH too many excuses. Apparently Heyman got to pick the stipulations and suggested that the winner gets Stephanie. Oh wait how about the loser gets Stephanie?

That does it and HHH destroys him but has to beat up security as well. HHH puts Heyman on the table and rips his shirt open to slap his chest while Heyman screams for Brock. HHH slaps Heyman a few more times and chokes him until HHH signs the contract. Heyman is sent to the floor and has a chair thrown at him as HHH says go get the monster.

Cue Lesnar with a chair. Shouldn’t he have been here like three minutes ago when Heyman was getting destroyed? HHH pulls a sledgehammer out from under the table so Heyman holds Lesnar back, saying Brock won this round. The stipulation is…..no holds barred. Well that’s kind of a letdown. Oh wait it’s no holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. That’s still a letdown.

Overall Rating: C+. This show didn’t fall off a cliff like last week’s did, but that’s because it never climbed any mountain in the first place. While the ending segment was solid, this show was just mediocre for the most part and I honestly barely remember most of it. That’s the problem for most of this Wrestlemania build: it’s just kind of there. The show will be good I’m sure, but the show feels like a throwaway edition and nothing more. Nothing to see here although the triple threat was pretty good.

Results

John Cena b. Darren Young – Attitude Adjustment

Ryback b. David Otunga – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Damien Sandow via countout

HELL NO b. Primo/Epico – Chokeslam to Epico

Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross Armbreaker

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Wade Barrett b. The Miz and Chris Jericho – Rollup to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 2013
Location: Bankers Fieldhouse Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re four weeks out from Wrestlemania and the top of the card is set. The major news coming out of last week is that CM Punk gets the chance to stop Undertaker’s Streak this year after winning a fatal fourway to end last week’s episode. Other than that we’re likely to hear more about Rock vs. Cena II tonight which should be fun after last week’s solid promos. Let’s get to it.

We open with a tribute video to Paul Bearer. This is the same one that aired on WWE’s Youtube channel last week.

Appropriately enough, here’s Undertaker to open the show. He kneels down in the middle of the ring in front of an urn and looks up at the In Memory graphic but is interrupted by CM Punk. Punk talks about wanting to extend his heartfelt condolences for Undertaker’s loss. That would be Undertaker’s loss at Wrestlemania of course. The silver lining for Undertaker is that Paul Bearer won’t be alive to see Undertaker go 20-1. Punk says that in four weeks, we’ll get a tribute video to Undertaker’s streak.

During the break Kane came out and tried to chokeslam Punk off the stage but he escaped. Kane went looking through the back for Punk but couldn’t find him. Instead he threw someone I couldn’t make out across the locker room. It might have been Alex Riley.

Big Show vs. Seth Rollins

This is a result of Shield beating up Big Show after Raw went off the air last week. Rollins runs at Big Show to start but is easily shoves away. Rollins is sent to the floor with Big Show in pursuit. The other members of the Shield jump him for the DQ at 41 seconds.

Show tries to fight them off but the spear takes him down. There’s the TripleBomb to leave Show laying.

Punk yells at Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox about what happened with Kane, so Vickie makes it Kane vs. Punk in a No DQ match.

We get a classic Bearer moment with him making his debut on the Brother Love Show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a result of Bryan making fun of AJ after she had water thrown on her last week. Bryan starts fast with a surfboard submission, only to have Ziggler escape and dropkick him down for two. Bryan comes back with an elbow in the corner and a stomp to the arm before backdropping Ziggler out to the floor. Bryan loads up the suicide dive but Langston gets on his apron to stop him in his tracks as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler holding Bryan in a chinlock but Bryan catapults him into the corner to escape. A running knee to Ziggler’s chest puts him down but Bryan runs into a boot in the corner. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Bryan but Ziggler pops out at the last second. Bryan fires off the hard kicks to the chest and a big one to the head gets two. Ziggler goes up top but gets crotched down hard. Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but Ziggler turns over in mid air, turning it into a cross body for a VERY close two.

Bryan tries a standing huricanrana but gets dropped onto the top rope. The Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he pounds away on the chest. AJ gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bryan hooks the No Lock, only to have Langston pull him to the ropes. Another attempt at the No Lock is countered and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 11:30.

Rating: B. Good back and forth match here but it still doesn’t help Ziggler’s major problems right now, mainly being the lack of a match at Wrestlemania. Maybe he and Langston will go after the tag titles or something, but right now there’s nothing for him to do, which says a lot after how big a deal he was a few months ago.

Post match Langston hits the Big Ending (falling slam) on Bryan at AJ’s request.

We recap HHH’s challenge to Lesnar from last week.

Tensai vs. Fandango

Tensai tells him to get out here, but Fandango doesn’t like how they say his name. He wants Naomi to say his name because she’s the only one with any skill. Fandango says she’s better than this but Tensai cuts her off, meaning no match.

Trailer for G.I. Joe 2.

Another Paul Bearer moment is him returning with Undertaker at Wrestlemania 20.

Rhodes Scholars vs. New Age Outlaws

Before the match, Sandow and Rhodes do the intelligent version of the Outlaws’ entrance which is very amusing. Apparently they’ve reunited for good now, which makes me wonder why they split in the first place. Road Dogg: “Lord have mercy, this one is for you Percy (Bearer’s real first name). Roadie and Cody start things off and there are the shaky jabs to put Cody down. Before this goes anywhere though, here’s Brock Lesnar, sending fear running through Cody. Lesnar attacks Gunn for the DQ at 1:25.

Both Outlaws get F5’s and are laid in front of Lesnar. Heyman is here with Lesnar and talks about how Lesnar isn’t here to play games. He talks about Lesnar hurting both Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon. Heyman says the last traces of DX were just destroyed right in front of you and that Lesnar will indeed fight HHH at Wrestlemania. However, there’s a but to that yes. Lesnar wants to name the stipulations before he’ll agree, but HHH has to sign the contract before he knows the rules. Heyman eggs HHH on by listing off people that HHH will disappoint by saying no. Heyman’s two words for us: BROCK LESNAR.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry

Kofi tries to fire off some kicks to start but is easily knocked out to the floor with a single kick from Henry. Out on the floor and Henry misses a charge into the steps, allowing Kofi to dive off the steps and stagger Henry. Back inside Kofi tries his top rope cross body, only to be caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:26.

In the back, Cody makes mustache jokes to Kaitlyn when Sandow shows up. He says he has a surprise for Cody and here are the returning Bella Twins. Kaitlyn walks off in disgust. Vickie comes up and gives the Scholars a match with Randy Orton and Sheamus.

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Mark Henry comes out to watch and there isn’t much else to say. Slater tries to jump him but gets pounded down, allowing for the Meat Hook and the Shell Shock to end this at 1:05.

Post match McIntyre gets Shell Shocked and here’s Henry to the ring. McIntyre gets a World’s Strongest Slam and a second Shell Shock. Now he gets another World’s Strongest Slam as the monsters stare at each other.

Trailer for The Call.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here as usual. Before the match Del Rio says he was born in Mexico but made in America. Alberto hits a quick cross body for two but Cesaro comes back with a forearm to the head. He pounds down Del Rio before hooking a fast chinlock. The world champion comes back with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The low superkick and Backstabber get two each and Del Rio goes up top. He jumps into the European uppercut for two though and follows it up with an attempted German suplex. Del Rio easily counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 4:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, and although I could go without the US Champion tapping out in five minutes, at least it was to Alberto who is on a roll at this point. Del Rio is on a higher level than Cesaro so a loss by Antonio isn’t the worst thing in the world. Cesaro got in one good move the entire match though and that’s not a good omen for him.

Kane is holding the urn and has nothing to say.

We get a video recapping Cena vs. Rock over the last two years.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus

Damien and Randy start things off with Orton in full control. It’s off to Sheamus to face Cody and the Scholars manage to send Sheamus to the floor to take over. Back do Damien for some knee drops for two as Sheamus is in trouble. He fights up with relative ease though once Cody comes back in. The not hot tag brings in Orton for an attempt at the Elevated DDT but Damien makes the save.

Orton is sent into the post and we head back inside so Sandow can hit the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Back to Rhodes who goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed down. There’s the tag to Sheamus who cleans house, including hitting Sandow with the ten forearms on the apron. White Noise takes down Sandow again and it’s the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. That’s probably really harsh but this show is hitting the exact same problem that every single episode does: it’s feeling long. We’ve done so much tonight and now the show is reaching levels of burnout. This is the same problem the show always reaches because three hours a week is just too much.

During the break, Shield attacked Orton and Sheamus.

We get some Touts from fans about Paul Bearer.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel with guests the Miz and Wade Barrett, both of whom have movies out at the moment. Miz is out first and talks about the success of his movie but here’s Barrett to talk about how great Dead Man Down is. Barrett talks about turning down a lot of movie roles because he’s busy being IC Champion. Jericho gets in his face and says he’s been Intercontinental Champion nine times and if Barrett keeps up, he might make it ten. Cue Brad Maddox who stumbles through the worst promo in the history of ever while announcing Jericho vs. Miz with the winner getting a title shot at Wade next week.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

This is joined in progress and the winner gets a title match at Barrett next week. Barrett is on commentary for the match. Jericho has Miz in a chinlock with an armtrap but Miz fights out with some left hands. Jericho bulldogs him down very quickly but the Lionsault hits knees. The Walls of Jericho can’t go on either so Miz takes out the knee. He can’t hook the Figure Four so Jericho fights for the Walls again. This time he manages to hook them but Miz crawls over to the ropes before falling to the floor. Jericho sends Miz flying into Barrett so the champion jumps Jericho for the DQ at 4:09.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to get anywhere and the ending was pretty clear for most of the match. The triple threat next week probably won’t be anything interesting but if it sets up an IC Title match for Wrestlemania I can’t say I’m complaining. It’s not like Barrett ever defends the thing.

Post match Barrett takes both finishers.

We get Ricardo and Alberto’s parody of Colter and Swagger’s videos.

We get a video from a Wrestlemania XI vignette which parodies NYPD Blue and has Bearer in drag, saying he has nothing to do with Yokozuna disappearing. A gong sounds, the lights go out, the lights come back on, Bearer is in a male suit. 1995 was weird.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

Before the match, Colter talks about how the fans are programmed to cheer for Sin Cara because of his entrance and the jumps he performs. Colter says Sin Cara is nothing but a sign of things that need to change. As the match starts we’re told that it’s a triple threat for the Intercontinental Title next week with Miz and Jericho challenging Barrett. Cara sends him to the floor to start and hits a big dive but might have hurt his shoulder. Apparently it wasn’t that bad as he charges back into the ring and fires off some kicks to Swagger, only to springboard into a kick to the ribs. The Patriot Lock ends this at 1:52.

Now we get an interview with Halle Berry about The Call. During the interview David Otunga calls her and tells her he may have given her phone number to someone who threatened him with violence. She hangs up and Kane calls her, asking why she doesn’t return his fan mail. Apparently Kane sent her a picture but she wasn’t impressed. She raises up her arms and makes fire come out of the ring posts behind Kane.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry on Smackdown.

CM Punk vs. Kane

No DQ here. Punk dives through the ropes to attack Kane to start but Kane comes back with an uppercut. He drops Punk throat first onto the barricade and loads up the announce table, only to have Punk hit Kane in the ribs with the ring bell. Back inside Punk shoves Kane off the top and hits the Macho Elbow for two before nailing the knee in the corner. Kane throws him over the top and we take a break at 11:05pm.

Back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner followed by Punk hitting a middle rope clothesline for two. Punk wedges a chair into the corner but Kane reverses a whip to send Punk into said chair. Kane goes to the floor and throws about four chairs into the ring before turning his attention back to Punk who is cowering in the corner. Back inside and Punk counters a chokeslam into a DDT onto a chair for two. The high kick blocks a chair shot but the Undertaker’s gong goes off, allowing Kane to chokeslam Punk for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here but at the end of the day this match was WAY too late in the show to hold up. The ending was the right idea with Undertaker costing Punk a match to set up the Wrestlemania match a little bit more. That’s good, basic storytelling and the match is going to be awesome.

Undertaker and Kane do their kneeling salute to Bearer, but Punk hits Kane in the back with the urn over and over before leaving with it.

Overall Rating: B. This show did a lot for Wrestlemania, but at the same time the problem was how packed it was. There was no room to breathe on this show and it felt really long at about the two hour mark. I did like the stories being told and all the angle advancement we got, plus the Bearer stuff was very nice. Good but LONG show tonight.

Results

Big Show b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Shield interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

New Age Outlaws b. Rhodes Scholars via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Mark Henry b. Kofi Kingston – World’s Strongest Slam

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Antonio Cesaro – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Sandow

The Miz vs. Chris Jericho went to a no contest when Wade Barrett interfered

Jack Swagger b. Sin Cara – Patriot Lock

Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam

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