Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2012
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in England and on taped delay tonight which usually slows things down a lot. From what I can tell, Lesnar won’t be here tonight which is possibly a good thing. If nothing else maybe he can hit the gym tonight for a change. There’s probably going to be a title change of some sort, although not in the Henry vs. Punk match. The main events are usually strong in England though so let’s get to it.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

No intro for Henry. This is No DQ and No Countout due to Punk retaining by both of those means before. Big reaction for Punk on the big match intros. Henry takes him into the corner to start so Punk fires off kicks to the knee. He walks into a kind of spinebuster though and Mark kicks him to the floor. Punk speeds things up and slides back in before diving back out for a suicide dive.

Henry shrugs off some more kicks but Punk gets up a boot to stop a charging challenger. Punk channels his inner Hardy by running the railing but goes much further before hitting a bulldog. He can’t get Henry back in though so he fires off more kicks. Henry grabs the leg and swings Punk into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Punk caught in a neck crank and being run over by a clothesline/shoulder block. Punk rolls outside and grabs a chair for a few shots which get him a two count. Punk charges at him again with the chair but gets kicked down. Now Henry gets the chair and drills it into Punk’s back. He wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but Punk blocks the shot and comes back with kicks in the corner.

Henry runs Punk over again to come back and it’s off to a bearhug. Punk elbows out of it and hits a short DDT for two. Punk goes to the corner but springboards into World’s Strongest Slam position. He jumps out of it though and the high kick puts Henry into the corner. The knee/bulldog combo is countered (duh) but Punk trips him into the wedged chair which knocks Henry out. Punk grabs the chair and goes up, coming off with it like an elbow, Cactus Jack style, good for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: B-. These two have some solid chemistry together. I was wondering how Punk was going to be able to pull this off which is exactly what a match like this is supposed to make me wonder. This worked quite well and I was getting into it at the end. Henry was doing his usual stuff but having someone like Punk in there to keep the fans going made the whole thing work. Good stuff.

Jericho pops up on screen at a bar and says that he’s got a rematch for the title at Extreme Rules in a Chicago street fight. Punk says that’s cool because he’ll take Jericho apart in the streets of Chicago. Jericho says just show up sober and he shows us a clip of Punk going into a pub from earlier in the day. Jericho thinks Punk is drunk right now. Punk says his friends are drinkers and he can go in with them and have some fish and chips. Jericho says Punk sounds like his father and that the straightedge is just a facade now. Punk gets ready to respond but the screen cuts away.

R-Truth is dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and is talking to Little Jimmy Watson when Teddy Long pops up. Truth is going to find him a job. Teddy seems pleased.

Lord Tensai says nothing of note.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

Santino has about 7 British soccer shirts on, finally getting the right one with the British national team one. Quick slam by Otunga gets two and it’s time for clubbing forearms. There’s a three hour Raw next week. Oh and it’s the Draft. Cool. Santino tries his usual drop down but Otunga kicks him in the head. Spinebuster hits but Otunga has to slide all over the place to get in position so that the foot can go on the rope. Santino comes back with his usual stuff and here’s the Cobra, good for the pin at 2:00.

We go to a sitdown interview with Brock. He says he’s not a superstar but a legit destroyer. This is accompanied by highlights of his career on all levels, including him beating Rock. We also get some UFC stills which are still bizarre to see on Raw. Lesnar talks about bringing legitimacy to this company because Cena isn’t the real deal. If Brock had been around for the last eight years, Cena would be carrying his bags. The match at the PPV is an Extreme Rules match.

Zach Ryder vs. Kane

We go to a break during Kane’s entrance and come back to see the Kane attack on the Ortons last week. Ryder gets on the apron and Kane kicks him into the announce table. Kane rams him into the steps and the beating is on. Into the ring and there’s a chokeslam. There was never a bell.

Kane talks about the beating of the Ortons and how it was like father like son.

Kofi is talking to AJ in the back when Bryan pops up to a ROAR. He yells at Kofi for hitting on her and shushes AJ for speaking up. Bryan says he’ll put Kofi in the LeBell Lock but then realizes he’s better than Gene LeBell so it’s now the YES Lock, because that’s what people will be screaming when the referee asks if they give up. Bryan starts a long YES chant in Kofi’s face and keeps doing it until we take a break.

Cena time. Before he talks we see a clip of the Brock beating from last week. Cena finds it interesting that Johnny Ace is always around for these attacks from Brock. Wrestlemania was certainly the end of an era and it might be his own. With Ace becoming the most powerful man in the company, Cena might be in trouble. Ace seems to think that Cena Sucks (said in a great imitation) and that’s a problem.

Ace claims to be legitimizing all of this so he goes and gets Brock Lesnar. After a year of hearing about movie parts and next parts and entertainment, Brock Lesnar stands for destruction. On April 29, it’s not about winning because that’s all Brock has done. The sole purpose of Lesnar at Extreme Rules is to end and replace Cena. Cena doesn’t care because no matter what happens, he’s going to fight.

Here’s Ace who says this is the beginning of the era of People Power. The WWE Universe wants to see Cena fight so tonight Cena will be in an extreme rules match. Next Monday there’s a contract signing between Cena and Brock. The opponent is a mystery because that’s more fun. It doesn’t exactly explain why he told us who Cena’s opponent was in about 10 seconds last week but whatever.

We recap the world title match from earlier and the promo that followed.

Horny is in the back reading a book next to a shelf of CDs and albums when Truth walks through it. Horny tries to go through it but it doesn’t work. Ok then.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is ridiculously over. He takes it to the corner and hits a running dropkick. Bryan keeps control to start and we go to the floor. Bryan misses his running knee so Kofi pops up and hits a HUGE dive off the top as we take a break. Back with Bryan avoiding a charge to send Kofi into the buckle. AJ is watching in the back. More kicks from Daniel set up a chinlock.

Kofi comes back with chops and kicks followed by the jumping clothesline. Boom Drop hits and he loads up Trouble in Paradise. As he claps his hands, the fans chant No. That was cute. Yes Lock is countered into the SOS for two. Kofi sets for the top rope cross body but Bryan comes up for a superplex. Kofi shoves him off but the cross body misses. Yes Lock ends this at 10:31. AJ is smiling a little in the back.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as this is what Kofi is really good for: having good TV matches when you need someone to fill in a spot. Nothing is lost here and Kofi will be right back in this spot again. There’s nothing wrong with that because Kofi isn’t going to be a main event guy anytime soon. Good stuff.

Bryan goes for the Lock again but Sheamus makes the save.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

Well this is some better competition wouldn’t you say? Dolph tries a dropkick but Clay easily suplexes him just after. And here’s Swagger for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Vickie shoves one of the dancing girls down but the other chases her into the ring. Brodus jiggles and Vickie gets shoved down.

Ace and Otunga have a meeting in the back when Eve pops up. She says they were supposed to have a meeting last week but Ace seems puzzled. They go into his office and Otunga follows.

Memorial video for Chief Jay Strongbow. Better late than never.

Little Jimmy has found Teddy a job: GM of Smackdown. He’s perfect because he has experience.

Great Khali/Big Show vs. Primo/Epico

Just scrap the tag titles too if this is th ebest the champions can get. We hear about Rosa and the champs complaining on Twitter lately. Khali and Epico get us going as Abraham Washington (called AW now apparently) is scouting. This goes badly for the champions so it’s off to Primo who gets kicked in the face. The champs try to bail with the titles but Show throws them back in. A pair of chops put them down and double chokeslams end this at 1:54. Oh screw you WWE. Your titles mean nothing and THIS IS WHY.

Package on the show in Moscow.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.

Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.

Cena is blind to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part and the fact that it was taped didn’t really hurt things that badly. Some of the matches were pretty good and we advanced stuff towards the PPV which is a good thing. They need to flesh out the card a good bit but with three shows left before then that’s certainly possible. I liked this show and it worked pretty well. Good stuff.

Results
CM Punk b. Mark Henry – Chair shot from the top rope
Santino Marella b. David Otunga – Cobra
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Yes Lock
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Great Khali/Big Show b. Epico/Primo – Chokeslam to Primo
Lord Tensai b. John Cena – Chokebomb

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2001
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 14,890
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Another week closer to Unforgiven and to the best of my knowledge, nothing has been announced for the show yet. After the last two weeks being horribly uninteresting shows, hopefully things can bounce back a little bit tonight. The problem with the Alliance stuff at this point is they don’t know what to do next with it. The Alliance is here, they’ve won a few matches, WWF has won a few matches…..and then what? That question never seemed to get answered. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Austin stole the medals. On Smackdown he tried to run Angle over and then threw the medals in a river.

Undertaker vs. Test

They fight over who is stronger to start and Taker uses….my goodness he uses a hip toss and an armdrag. Now it’s an STF, which might be better than Cena’s. Test comes back with a clothesline and some elbows to the face. Side slam gets two as does a middle rope jumping back elbow. Test hooks a Russian legsweep but Taker comes back with a rolling leg lock which is quickly broken up. The fans chant for the Leafs as Taker hits a clothesline. He loads up the Last Ride but Steven Richards of all people runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here as it was nice to see Undertaker actually let someone else get in some offense for a change. The ending kind of sucked but I think it was to allow Richards to bring in Kronik to fight Kane/Undertaker. The stuff from Undertaker was pretty nice for a change, especially the armdrags and STF about five years before he became the MMA Cowboy of Death.

Test kicks Undertaker’s head off post match.

Christian says he’s looking forward to winning the title tonight. He’s talking to an usher or something like that when fans come up and say they’ve got front row seats. They’re happy to see Edge’s brother. Christian tells the usher to make sure they’re put in the nosebleed seats so they don’t mess up the pictures when he wins the WCW Title.

Richards says that he jumped Undertaker because Undertaker played a big role in disbanding the RTC. He wants a match with Undertaker on Smackdown.

Clips from the Wrestlemania press conference where the announcement was made that it’s coming to Toronto.

Regal is talking to Tajiri and tells him if he finds a partner tonight, he can have a #1 contenders match vs. the Dudleys. Big Show comes in and speaks Japanese, apparently because he’s Tajiri’s partner.

Austin and Debra get here and the Alliance is waiting for Austin with an ovation. They have a surprise for Austin later because they’re inspired by him throwing Angle’s medals in the river last week.

Dudley Boys vs. Tajiri/Big Show

This is for the #1 contendership for one of the sets of tag titles. Show runs them both over to start and it’s off to Tajiri to face D-Von. Tarantula gets a big pop. Bubba cheats and uses a hot shot on Tajiri to give the EVIL ones the advantage. Torrie comes down and gets in Tajiri/Show’s corner as Bubba drops elbows. Apparently this is for the shot at both sets of titles. Ok then. Tajiri kicks Bubba’s head off and it’s hot tag to Big Show. He cleans house but Tajiri accidentally shoots mist at him, allowing the 3D to pin Tajiri.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? Was there no team that they could have thrown at the Dudleys to set this up? Sadly enough there isn’t because the division was on the verge of death at this point. Not much to see here but I’m sure the Torrie and Tajiri stuff is starting up soon.

Show runs over Torrie because he’s blind so he carries her off. The Dudleys put Tajiri through the table to a big pop. Show comes back out to make the save, despite Tajiri being dead for the most part.

Shane and Booker offer to help Christian win the title in exchange for the first shot. Christian seems cool with this.

The US Champion Kanyon (I had to remind myself since he never defends the thing) at WWF New York loves Austin and sounds like the Cowardly Lion.

Stephanie comes in to see Austin and Debra to tell them that the surprise is getting closer. Austin thinks Debra is scared that Kurt Angle might be coming. Stephanie assures her there’s no chance Angle will be here tonight. Debra gets him a beer and it fizzes a bit. Uh…ok?

Shawn Stasiak vs. Spike Dudley

Stasiak pounds him in the corner and powerslams him in front of a quiet crowd. Gorilla press gets almost no reaction and the beating continues. Spike gets tripped by Stacy which means nothing as Stasiak charges into a boot in the corner and the Dudley Dog gets the pin.

Molly beats up Stacy post match.

Christian gives Edge the KOTR trophy back and apologizes for being a jerk lately. He wants to win the title on his own tonight too.

Moppy has been kidnapped and Saturn has been given a ransom note asking for $100,000. He asks Hurricane for help and using some very questionable logic, Hurricane concludes that it’s Matt Hardy’s doing.

WCW World Title: Christian vs. The Rock

Shane is guest timekeeper and Booker is guest ring announcer. After Booker introduces himself and Shane, we’re ready to go. Booker distracts Rock and Christian jumps him to start. Shane gets in some shots on the floor and Rock is in trouble due to the numbers game. Rock gets it to one on one and hammers away but Christian kicks him right back down. Out to the floor again and Booker drops Rock on the belt on the table chest first.

Now Christian sends Rock into the table as Canada Power is in control. The reverse DDT onto the knee gets two. After a quick run on the floor Rock hits the Samoan Drop to put both guys down. Shane distracts the referee and Booker slides in the belt to Christian. Rock fights back and hits the belly to belly and a DDT for two. Spinebuster sets up the Sharpshooter but Shane interferes again. Rock drills him but Booker clotheslines him on the top and a reverse DDT gets a VERY close two. Rock throws Christian into Booker and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than the Rhyno match last week but it was basically the same idea. Rock running through the WCW midcard is fine as they offer quick challenges to him without wasting something big like Booker vs. Rock. It’s clear that match or something similar is happening at Unforgiven, but naturally that’s not important enough to announce yet.

Rock tells Booker to just bring it and it’s on, but Shane jumps Rock and the beatdown commences. The APA makes the save.

Stephanie and Debra go into schoolgirl mode because the surprise is here.

Stephanie comes to the ring to make fun of Canada and their grammar issues. Also why would Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving? Is it because they want to be more like Americans? This comes off like a bad standup comedy bit. They shouldn’t celebrate Labor Day (today) either because they don’t do anything. Speaking of hard work, Stephanie brings out the hardest working man she knows: Austin.

The surprise is a new truck. Debra runs down all the features which takes WAY too long. One of them is the paint job. It’s black. That’s not exactly a feature. It also has a radio and mirrors. She’s really not that good at this. It has power steering and power brakes. Debra is talking about the words written on the tires. Just get to Angle destroying the thing already because you know that’s what this is building to. Debra invites Austin to come see the truck because she wants a ride.

Austin goes to the back and looks at the truck, including the leather which he really likes for some reason. He gets in the back of the truck and says he’s King of the World. FINALLY Kurt comes out of the back and hits Austin with a pipe, chains him up to something in the truck bed and speeds away in the truck.

Matt Hardy/Lita vs. Ivory/Hurricane

The guys start things off and Matt is so fired up that he gets put in position for a superplex. The fans chant for Hurricane as Ivory raises the roof. Men vs. women is cool here. Off to Lita who hits her headscissors but walks into a facejam for two. Off to the men and Matt can’t fire the crowd up at all. Ivory gets speared down but Saturn comes down to break up the middle rope legdrop. Eye of the Hurricane gets the quick pin. This was worthless.

Saturn beats up Hurricane post match.

Storm comes up to Christian and makes fun of him for losing. He makes fun of Toronto and Edge makes fun of Storm for various issues.

Debra does the first logical thing in the history of wrestling kidnappings and CALLS THE POLICE. The Alliance has a TV in their locker room and the truck pops up on it. Where is this feed supposed to be coming from? Austin is also blindfolded despite not being so when they left. Angle rants about the stolen medals and says this inspired him. Angle takes him to the edge of the bridge they’re on and Austin apologizes for throwing the medals away. Kurt lifts him onto the edge but doesn’t throw him. He says we need a higher bridge and it’s back to the driving.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

Huge pop for Edge of course. Storm jumps him during his posing but Edge is ready for him. Storm comes back with an enziguri to send Edge to the floor. Springboard clothesline back inside gets two. Edge gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two. Superkick and Edgecution are blocked and there’s the Maple Leaf. Edge finally makes the rope and Storm stays on the knee, but gets rolled up for Edge to retain.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad at all. Canadians are good at having wrestling matches and this was no exception. To be fair Storm was trained by Stu so did you expect anything but quality? I like both of these guys though so that probably has something to do with it. Granted this was just a way to set up what comes next.

Christian comes out with a chair for the save and cracks Edge with it to turn heel. He adds a one man Conchairto, which I think is the debut of that move. Those were some great chair shots.

Rob Van Dam/Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho

This is Jeff’s return after destroying himself and a table in a ladder match with RVD from two weeks ago on Smackdown. Rob and Chris start things off and a jumping enziguri puts Van Dam down and it’s off to Jeff. The fans chant at Hebner so the match doesn’t get much attention. Jeff pulls Rob off the top and does the legdrop between Rob’s legs. Rhyno and Chris fight so the Swanton gets no count. It also hurts Jeff’s ribs which is the call of the Rhyno who works the injury over.

The fans chant ECW as a belly to belly suplex looks to set up the Gore. Jeff moves and it’s hot tag to Jericho. Rhyno is sent to the floor and Rob counters the Walls. Chris dropkicks Rhyno off the apron and Rob knocks Jericho down and hits a standing moonsault. He tries a German suplex but Jericho rolls through for the pin, just like Edge did in the last match.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a shortened version of last week’s main event which wasn’t all that good. That being said, the only way to fit this massive roster on TV every week is with a tag team main event so there isn’t much of a shock there. Jericho and Van Dam faced each other at the PPV I believe in what was probably one of the best matches of the night.

Back to the American Kidnapping Hero who has found a higher bridge. Austin begs for a bit and Angle continues to be psycho. Angle says he’s going to make Austin think about it, which means we’ve got bills to pay so let’s take a break.

Back with Debra crying in the ring for Austin’s life. This is really bad stuff. Back to Angle and Austin with Austin showing those acting skills as he begs. The payoff for this is Angle demands a rematch at Unforgiven which he gets, and then shoves Austin into a kids’ swimming pool and steals the truck. Yeah seriously, that’s it. Quick question: WHERE DID HE HAVE THE POOL? Did he leave it on a bridge in Toronto for the last hour and no one moved it? That’s a stretch even for a wrestling storyline.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was a little better but that’s still not saying much. The Christian turn was good and we FINALLY set up a match for Unforgiven, but at the same time it’s still not an interesting show given what they have to work with. That sums up the Alliance in a nutshell: they had everything and gave us nothing of note.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2001
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 9,972
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Back to 2001 now with us getting closer to Unforgiven. The main feud is still Angle vs. Austin with some Booker vs. Rock thrown in on the side. I barely remember the last one of these that I did which is probably because I haven’t done one in about a month. I remember them being just ok for the most part though which isn’t a good sign. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Austin cheating to beat Jericho to keep the title on Thursday.

Rock defends against Rhyno tonight.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He talks about buying WCW about five months ago and doing it to own the most dominant brand in sports entertainment. The fans don’t really buy that but whatever. One of the things that came with WCW was its champion, Booker T. He was a champion you could be proud of, unlike the current WCW Champion The Rock. It’s all about the money and Rock as champion doesn’t make the money for WCW, because Rock has nothing to do with its history. Therefore, the next champion will be….Rhyno. Come on Shane you’re smarter than that.

Cue Rock who says he knows the history of the WCW Title and how it traces back to Frank Gotch (it doesn’t), Lou Thesz (kind of), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair. Rock also knows what the title has come to: Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T, the guy from Scream 2, the maid from the Jeffersons and so on. It’s like Stephanie: everyone gets a turn. Now though the title means something and the Rock will be the most electrifying WCW Champion of all time.

Rock knows he’ll be defending against Rhyno later tonight, but how about right now he comes down there and gives Shane a shot right now? Shane does the Just Bring It hand sign so here comes Rocky. Naturally it’s a trap as Rhyno comes in and Gores Rock to get an advantage later tonight.

Austin has a bad arm which Debra is trying to tend to. As he yells at her, RVD and Raven come in. They have a Hardcore Title match later and since it’s Alliance vs. Alliance they want Austin’s blessing. Instead Austin puts them in the main event instead of him and a mystery partner against Jericho/Angle.

Undertaker vs. Albert

They slug it out and Taker reverses an Irish whip to take over. Old School hits and he does his still bad cross armbreaker. Taker has to stop to chase X-Pac around like it’s 1999 and walks into a shot with the Cruiserweight Title. That gets X-Pac an evil glare so Albert jumps Taker but can’t hit whatever the chokebomb was called at this point. Oh it’s the BaldoBomb. Thanks Paul. Anyway it’s countered into the chokeslam for the pin by Taker.

Rating: D. Taker was in a bad BAD funk at this point and by funk I mean he sucked for about three years. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING for anyone other than a giant, which is why Kronik was brought in for one of the worst matches in recorded history. This match did nothing for Albert, but that might be for the best.

Shane Helms talks about superheroes before his match with Matt. Ok then.

European Title: Hurricane vs. Matt Hardy

This is the debut of the Hurricane superhero character but he has hip hop music still. Matt looks shocked but he clotheslines Hurricane down quickly. Superkick by Helms sets up a top rope cross body for two. There’s a Russian legsweep by Matt and Hurricane is in trouble. The middle rope leg gets two. A cross body misses for Matt and here’s Ivory to hit Lita in the knee with a pipe. She hits Matt as well, allowing Hurricane to hit the Eye of the Hurricane to steal the pin and the title. This was really quick.

Angle ignores Michael Cole so Cole follows him anyway. Angle finds Raven and gives him a big old beating, putting him in an ankle lock before screaming that RVD needs a new partner.

After a break, here’s the EXACT SAME SEGMENT IN FULL. Good grief.

Lita gets her knee looked at when Raven comes in to get attention as well. The trainer says Raven can’t wrestle so Shawn Stasiak pops in to offer his services to take his place. Austin calls him selfish but gives him the shot anyway. Stasiak leaves so Austin yells at Raven for making him go out there tonight. Austin hits him in the ankle because he’s that kind of guy. I guess Matt and Lita were just watching in the back.

Edge is having a soda when Hugh Morrus comes in to make fun of his fake name. Edge points out how stupid that is and thinks his name should he Hugh Suck. Christian comes in and somehow gets Hugh an IC Title match tonight.

We get a clip of whatever Smackdown Test joined the Alliance on and cost the APA the tag titles.

Test vs. Bradshaw

Brawl to start of course and Bradshaw takes over, hitting a DDT. Shane is at ringside and offers a distraction to let Test take over. Full nelson slam puts Bradshaw down and Test pounds away. Bradshaw tries the Clothesline but Test hits a sidewalk slam to put him right back down. The flying elbow misses and Bradshaw powerslams him for two.

Test tries a cross body into the corner so that Bradshaw can hit the fallaway slam to put him back down. Shane gets up on the apron but Bradshaw sends Test into him for two. Farrooq chases Shane but gets taken down by Test. Bradshaw chases him back in and walks into the big boot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a MUCH better match than you would have expected. It’s a good example of a match where two power guys didn’t try to be anything more than two power guys, which usually results in an ok match. The interference was a bit overdone but it’s 2001 WWF after all so what else was to be expected? Good match and I was rather surprised by it.

Austin is yelling about Angle attacking Raven when RVD comes in. He thinks Austin did it so that he could team with RVD which would be perfect. RVD says he’ll carry the whole match. Debra likes the idea but Austin doesn’t think so. He’ll get back to RVD on that.

Stasiak is stalking Angle and gets Stacy to help him.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Rhyno

They start in the aisle and Rhyno Gores him almost immediately to hurt the ribs again. That gets a quick two in the ring as does a standing powerslam. Rock launches him over the top to give himself a breather. He can’t follow up though because of the ribs so Rhyno throws on a bearhug. This goes on for over a minute which is quite a bearhug. Rock finally punches out of it and hits a Samoan Drop to put both guys down.

A shoulder to the ribs puts Rock right back down as this has been one sided. Suplex gets two. Rock comes back with that belly to belly throw of his and both guys are down again. Back up and the jumping clothesline and DDT get two on Rhyno. A clothesline puts Rock down but he nips up and hits a spinebuster as Shane comes out. A low blow puts Rock down and here’s the APA to chase Shane off. Gore misses and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very basic power man vs. injured ribs match and it worked quite well. This is something that is completely missing from Raw and Smackdown today: a main event guy against a midcarder with the champion having some trouble but nothing horrible. They had a pretty good match and you don’t waste anything big on it. Why is that so hard to grasp today?

Stasiak has put a bucket of rancid milk over the door to fall on Angle when he comes through the door. It’ll blind him and Stasiak will beat him up. And Debra comes in instead. COMEDY!

Austin blames Angle for what happened.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Hugh Morrus

Christian sits in on commentary. Morrus takes him into the corner to start and splashes him to take over. Edge comes back with a drop toehold and a cradle for two. Jackknife cover gets two but Hugh grabs a powerslam for two. Elbow drop gets the same. Suplex puts Edge down and Morrus keeps telling Edge to say it. No idea what that means but Morrus never made a lot of sense. Top rope elbow misses and Edge comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two but Morrus flapjacks him down. He loads up the moonsault but Christian pops up and hits him for the DQ. Uh….ok?

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here at all. This wouldn’t lead anywhere for Morrus but I guess it furthers the Christian and Edge split, which wouldn’t happen for over another month. The match was nothing of note at all as Morrus was about as low on the Alliance pole as you could possibly be, which made the ending here pretty clear.

Booker is mad at Rock for stealing the title so here’s a clip of the midget from last week. We get a clip from earlier today with Show doing a Booker impression. To put it mildly, it’s REALLY bad.

Stephanie and Jericho run into each other in the back. She says Y2J is five minutes ago and it’s all about RVD now. Jericho says she should be saying H-O-E. This was stupid too.

Big Show vs. Booker T

Booker tries a quick spin kick which is caught and powerbombed with ease. Show throws him around and chops Booker in the corner but the Alley-Oop is countered. Booker superkicks him and hits the ax kick and here’s the Spinarooni. Show sets up the chokeslam but Booker distracts the referee and kicks Show low. That doesn’t do much and they go to the floor but Show’s knee goes into the steps and Booker hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. What was this supposed to accomplish? Getting Booker revenge? That’s fine but have him get a win and put him over Big Show, not this.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam/???

Austin comes out but not in wrestling gear. There’s a mystery partner and that partner is….Taz. Well that’s kind of a letdown. Angle stomps on RVD in the corner and they’re starting I think. RVD takes him down with a kick and it’s off to Taz. Angle cross bodies him down and here’s Jericho. The Alliance takes over but Jericho manages a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) on RVD for two.

Rob gets in another kick (no, really) and goes up, but Jericho makes the stop and superplexes him for two. Taz comes in to hit his crossface shots to the face which he dedicates to Austin. Heyman compares Austin to John Wayne and says Austin is the better American, almost starting a war between New York and Oklahoma. Rob hooks a chinlock but Jericho escapes and rolls him up for two.

Rolling Thunder gets two and it’s back to Taz who almost allows the tag to Angle. Van Dam hits his spinning legdrop and it’s back to the chinlock for a few seconds. Sunset flip gets two for the Canadian but Rob kicks him down again. Split legged moonsault hits knees though and there’s the tag to Angle. The Alliance takes him down with relative ease and Van Dam hits the Frog Splash but Taz only gets two off of it. Jericho puts Van Dam in the Walls on the floor but Austin breaks it up. In the ring Angle escapes the Tazmission and the Angle Slam ends this.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag match to the letter. Not a great match or anything but for what it was this was fine. It helps to set up the Austin being a hunted man angle, especially with the post match stuff. It also furthers Taz having issues with the Alliance which didn’t go much of anywhere but it happened.

Austin beats up Angle post match and steals his medals. JR freaks out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t work for me for the most part. There’s some good stuff in it, but it felt like the show was spinning its wheels for the majority of the time. I don’t know what this is supposed to do and Unforgiven hasn’t even been mentioned yet. The Alliance was about two and a half months away from dying but it seems like they’re on life support by this point. Weak show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 1998
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,607
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first Raw after Summerslam and it’s on a Saturday. The Raw after this will be as well before we get back to the regular show on Monday the 14th, giving the fans in 98 two Raws in three days. Summerslam is over and Austin kept his title while HHH ended the DX vs. Nation war with a win in one of my all time favorite matches. We enter the build to the next few PPVs which culminates at Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show with a big smile on his face. He talks about how in a few weeks there’s going to be a breakdown and it’s going to be Steve Austin’s breakdown. And hey, the next PPV just happens to be called Breakdown. See how easy it is to do something like that? Vince says after Breakdown, Austin will no longer be champion. As for Undertaker, he got an insurance policy in Kane, then told Kane to go to the back. “Undertaker is a fool.”

Vince doesn’t like Kane and says the brothers should dominate this company. However the other Superstars are now snickering at the sight of Undertaker and Kane. He insults them a bit more and here come the monsters. Vince runs through the crowd but the two of them chase him down.

Ken Shamrock/Steve Blackman vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

There’s a Salvatore Bellomo 4 Life sign in the crowd. I’ve watched this stuff for a long time and I didn’t ever expect to see that one. Let’s say Skull starts with Shamrock but it’s off to Blackman quickly. Blackman kicks away (no seriously, he kicks a lot) and even adds in a shoulder block but here come Undertaker and Kane who clear the ring about a minute in.

Undertaker puts Blackman in a leg lock and then the monsters chase off DOA.

We recap the Vince speech that ticked off the monsters again. Lawler says it was to motivate Undertaker/Kane.

Clip of the Outlaws winning the titles back from Mankind in a handicap match, followed by Kane popping up and hitting Foley in the dumpster and wheeling him out in the dumpster.

Vader vs. Val Venis

Val’s speech is that he’s like a dog because he comes when he’s called. Dustin Runnels is in the crowd with signs saying “he is coming back.” Val pounds on Vader, Vader pounds on Val, Val pounds on Vader some more. Now for a change of pace, Vader pounds on Val some more. The entire first minute was nothing but punching and a cross body from Val. Belly to belly gets two for Vader. A middle rope splash gets the same. Bradshaw comes in for some reason to yell at Vader (doesn’t hit him) but here are Undertaker/Kane again for another match being thrown out. I sense a theme. Too short to rate but it was bad.

Rock and Henry say they’ll win the titles tonight. By that I mean Rock talks about beating DX and Henry says nothing.

Tag Titles: The Rock/Mark Henry vs. New Age Outlaws

Rock and Gunn trade headlocks to start and Billy hiplocks him down. The Outlaws work on Rock’s arm and it’s off to Road Dogg for an armbar and then a headlock. JR says Henry’s legs literally look like tree trunks. Actually they look like the legs of a muscular black man but then again I’m no professional. Leg drop gets two for Mark. Back to Rock who punches Dogg down in the corner.

People’s Elbow gets two as Billy has to save. The Nation double teams for a low blow on Roadie. Henry comes back in for a bearhug but his splash misses. Off to Billy for a lot of crotch chops and everything breaks down. Rock and Gunn go to the floor and Gunn goes into the post. And here’s Chyna for ANOTHER DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here as the whole thing was based around punching until the Chyna run-in. This feud needed to end quickly as there was nothing left after Summerslam. The Nation would be split up soon, and I think Henry would become Sexual Chocolate soon enough, which I think tied into the Chyna deal.

Here are Tiger Ali Singh and Babu for the usual “Americans will do anything for money” schtick. This time it’s French kissing Babu who has bad breath. The chick looks good at least. Undertaker and Kane FINALLY come out to break this up.

Southern Justice vs. Headbangers

Canterbury puts Thrasher on the floor and Mosh puts Knight out there too. Power vs. speed here as things start to calm down. Canterbury slams Thrasher down for two and the heels take over. Elbow drop gets two. Off to Knight who drops his head between Thrasher’s legs to keep him down. Sunset flip gets two. Thrasher finally avoids a charge in the corner after more beating, and it’s off to Mosh. House is cleaned but he goes after one too many Godwinns so that the Slop Drop (Problem Solver) from Knight gets the pin.

Rating: D. Of all the matches we’ve had tonight, this one gets the clean finish? These teams weren’t interesting to anyone by this point but at least the Headbangers could have some potential. Southern Justice was big, lumbering and completely uninteresting. I don’t know why this match got a clean ending but it was a nice change of pace.

Taker and Kane, who have been looking for Vince all night, go up to the big door marked MR. MCMAHON and knock it open with a sledgehammer. No Vince inside though.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

We get a clip of Jeff Jarrett being forcibly shaved at Summerslam in the back. They trade control of the arm to start and Pac speeds things up. Brown shoulders him down and drops an elbow for two. Clothesline is ducked and Pac hits a spinwheel kick to take Brown’s head off. There’s the Bronco Buster but the second attempt hits boot. X-Factor out of nowhere hits and here’s Jarrett for our fourth DQ in five matches tonight. This is the debut of Jeff’s short hair.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but I’m sick of these cheap endings. This would be Russo’s bad booking style as the whole point of the show is to give a sense of carnage and anarchy but it comes off as more annoying than anything else. We get it: you can end a match by something other than a pin. Now do something else.

Kane and Undertaker come down for the 600th time tonight but Rock comes out to protect D’Lo. Brown runs so Rock gets chokeslammed instead. JR: “He doesn’t look like that on the cover of the new Raw Magazine.” JR can plug like no other.

Edge vs. Marc Mero

This is the aftermath of Sable winning a match all by herself on Sunday while Edge was there too. Feeling out process to start and we talk about the Tom’s River, New Jersey Little League World Series champions. I had a friend who lived in that town when they won. That has no bearing on the match but it’s nothing that great. Lawler: “How did they win the World Series?” JR: “They scored more runs than their opponents.” Edge sends him to the floor and hits a SWEET dive….and here’s Gangrel for DQ #5 tonight.

Edge and Gangrel brawl while Undertaker and Kane come out to beat up Mero.

We get a sitdown interview with Al Snow and get some clips from ECW. Snow talks about being a star there and about how he can be a star here. JR: “You’re talking to a mannequin. Seriously.” Snow talks about how normal he is and how he does stuff like mowing the lawn and going to the grocery store. JR asks about the voices Snow hears which Snow says sound normal.

Now we get into a discussion about the existence of God. Now we get a quick retrospective of Snow’s past incarnations. Snow yelled at JR on Raw once but he says it was NOT a breakdown. He wants to talk to Vince but wouldn’t say anything to him. The voices want to talk to Vince. Ok then. Head starts talking but Snow says they’ll talk in the car. Part 2 is next week. This was bizarre but I couldn’t stop watching.

Undertaker and Kane are still walking around.

Oddities vs. Legion of Doom

This would be a six man tag with Droz in there too. The ICP plays the Oddities to the ring and Hawk comes out to dance with them because he’s “out of it.” Instead it’ll be Animal/Droz vs. all three Oddities The fans chant for the clowns and Hawk wants to dance with them some more. They won’t do it so Hawk beats them up. Droz and Golga start us off with Droz elbowing him down before Hawk steals the tag. Hawk drops the fist to Golga and then tags in Kurrgan. Everything breaks down and Silva powerbombs Hawk to end it. This was nothing.

Hawk dances some more post match.

Video of some legends saying they cheer for the new guys instead of how it used to be.

Undertaker and Kane break more stuff.

Too Much vs. Los Boricuas

I think that’s Miguel starting with Scotty. If I remember right this was back when the plan for Too Much was for them to be the Billy and Chuck of the Attitude Era. Miguel is sent to the floor and goes right back into a pumphandle suplex for two. Off to Christopher (not yet a Grandmaster) who plays Bret in a Hart Attack. Off to Jesus who gets beaten on as well. Lawler explains that he didn’t have Christopher at age 13 because he was just a prince back then.

JR goes on a small anti-internet rant which Lawler turns into a Bill Clinton sex joke. Taylor hits a low dropkick as JR tries to prove that Lawler is Brian’s dad. Are the Boricuas the faces here? It would appear that way as Scotty runs into Christopher and the faces (I think) take over. They hit a double powerbomb on Scotty but Christopher hits the top rope legdrop to the back of Miguel’s head and Scotty gets the pin.

Rating: D. Again, THIS is the match that gets a clean finish? Too Much was really boring because they tried using Memphis stuff on a national stage and that just doesn’t work. Los Boricuas literally never wrestled on Raw again after this so the match means even less. Too Much wouldn’t become Too Cool for almost a year so this was a pretty isolated appearance for them.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scorpio

Main event time! Scorpio jumps him and the fight is on. Ok make that the basic wrestling match is on. After a quick excursion to the floor, Scorpio kicks him to the floor and they fight out there. Back in Scorpio tries a standing hurricanrana but gets powerbombed for two. Off to the chinlock which is broken up quickly but Scorpio misses the moonsault. Jeff hits a superplex and freaking X-Pac runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I’m done. This show has ticked me off AGAIN. The match was ok but of course we have a run-in. It’s Russo’s World and wrestling has no place on a sports entertainment show. Now I remember why I didn’t like Raw much back then when Austin wasn’t around.

Scorpio gets beaten up by the Brothers and takes a spike tombstone as Vince watches approvingly. They chase him off to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show had nine matches and SIX ended in a DQ because of a run-in. It got old really fast and what does it accomplish? Not a thing. Undertaker and Kane are monsters. We got that the first time, the second time, and ALL THE OTHER TIMES. On top of that, the matches that were given endings were boring, or it was the LOD match. This show was total overkill and had one idea running through the whole thing. If you don’t like that idea, there’s no point in you watching. That’s what got WCW in trouble but thankfully it wasn’t the case long term for WWF. Total misfire here though.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s huge show it should be very interesting to see where the company goes from here. Brock Lesnar returned last week and laid out Cena, so I’d bet that we’re going to hear about that here. Other than that we have Brodus teaming with Santino apparently to face Ziggler/Swagger. Throw in Lord Tensai and Punk vs. Jericho and there are a ton of ways this show could go. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the cast of the Three Stooges is here tonight. Scratch that whole great show tonight.

We open with….the Stooges. Not Brock, not Cena, not Rock, not Punk, but a video on the Stooges.

Punk vs. Henry for the belt tonight.

Ace and Otunga really open the show. Ace now has trumpets for his music, which is probably a good thing. He talks about how this next guy is going to be the future of the WWE and will carry the banner of the company for years to come. We get a clip of Lesnar returning last week and laying out Cena. Brock vs. Cena is officially announced for Extreme Rules. Well Cena’s last match was a year long build so maybe a quick one is a good idea here.

Cole actually mentions UFC by name during Brock’s entrance. Brock does the jump to the apron thing. He thanks Ace for having the wisdom to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. That’s all Brock can get out because here comes Cena. Cena slams Brock in the face and HERE WE GO. Brock takes him down immediately but a bunch of suits pull them apart. Ok scratch that as they try to pull them apart. A bunch of jobbers and Ziggler come out and now there are bigger names in there.

There are probably thirty guys in there but they can’t keep Brock back. Even Sheamus is in there. Cena has some serious blood from his mouth and what looks like a huge hole in his lip. Now Cena goes after Brock again. They go at it AGAIN and Lesnar is finally put outside. Really hot opening here with faces and heels acting more realistic by having guys from either side of the spectrum holding back both Cena and Lesnar.

After a break Ace yells at Teddy and says it was his fault for not containing Cena. He sends Teddy off to get an explanation from Cena and complains to Otunga. Teddy leaves when Eve pops in and says to call her later. Why not talk to him now?

Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Dolph and Santino start things off with Ziggy hooking some quick rollups for two. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and Jack manages to take him down as we take a break. Back with Ziggler dropping an elbow for two on Santino. Off to swagger who slams Santino down to block a tag. Dolph comes back in and hooks something like a crossface which is broken up. There’s the hot tag to Brodus who cleans house, headbutts Dolph down and splashes him for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but the idea here was to make Brodus look like he can compete with bigger names, which he certainly did. I’m not wild about putting him with Santino, but having him play the monster that wrecks things after the hot tag is a fine role for him at the moment. No real complaints here but it was nothing more than adequate.

Miz is looking to talk to Ace but Ace says we’ll talk next week. Teddy comes in and gets yelled at but Cena comes in with dried blood on his face. He talks about the legitimacy that Ace wants which is fine with Cena, because he loves this and has no issue with getting his face busted up. Cena wants a match tonight and says Ace can pick the opponent no matter who it is. Cena leaves and Ace takes care of the idea of a mystery by saying it’ll be Otunga. Gee good thing he told us. We might have waited to see who it was.

Santino is looking for the Three Stooges.

Back from a break and he’s still looking. They’re playing it up like they’re the real Stooges and not actors portraying the Stooges. Instead santino finds Kane and does Stooges sound effects anyway. Kane isn’t pleased so Santino runs off.

R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down quickly with the Alabama Slam….and here’s big Show who looks pretty awesome in a suit. We get a video from last week with Cody getting beaten by Kofi. The video ends and Cody walks into Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:38. You know, like last week, but this week instead.

Santino is still looking for them and finds a crate marked fragile. He thinks it’s Italian soda sent by his mom so he pries it open to find the Stooges. Slapstick ensues. We get the debut of the Moe-Bra. They go back in the box but Moe says they need to think outside of it.

Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Believe it or not there’s a story to this. Yoshi has said on Twitter that he’s REAL Japanese and not a fake like Tensai. An Albert chant breaks out as he rams in headbutts. Yoshi got in a pair of chops but that’s about it. Tensai hits a bunch of strikes and just like last week it’s stopped after a chokebomb at 2:04. Claw hold post match.

Before we go to break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

After we come back from break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

Here’s Punk to talk about how Straightedge isn’t something everyone gets. It’s just one drink or one cigarette and he gets that. However to him it’s a choice. It wasn’t something he chose to be trendy, but rather because it’s a way of life. He doesn’t talk about it that much (other than becoming a messiah because of it) because he didn’t want people to feel sorry for him. He told himself a long time ago that he’d make it to the top because he’s the best in the world.

And then here came Chris Jericho who also says that he’s the best in the world. Jericho broke the privacy that Punk has spent his life building up by telling the world about his father’s alcoholism and making up lies about his sister. Then at Wrestlemania, he made Jericho tap out. Jericho took it one step further and poured whiskey all over him and broke the bottle over his head. It made Punk smell exactly like his father did when he’d come home drunk, which is something Punk hates.

Jericho pops up on the screen and thinks Punk is still hung over. Is he shaking because he’s on his first bender? Last week, Jericho made him CM Drunk for the first time. Punk is shaking with anger and says that last week all that was broken was a bottle. He says that Jericho’s failure was taking Punk to a dark place because he’s going to take that out on Jericho.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk goes right at him with knees and a spinning kick. A clothesline doesn’t do much and Henry runs him over on a second attempt at one. They go to the floor and Punk hits him with a monitor for the DQ at 47 seconds. Ok then.

Punk gets ready to jump off the apron with the monitor but Jericho pops up with alcohol. The distraction lets Henry get up and destroy Punk with a pair of slams in the ring. Henry leaves so Jericho pulls out his beer He goes to pour it on Punk but the champ pops up and it’s on. Punk charges into the Codebreaker though and gets beer poured on him.

Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is exactly what you would expect from a Ryder match anymore: Del Rio beats him up, Ryder gets in a few shots so that two people in the audience believe he could have a chance, the Rough Ryder is countered and the armbreaker ends it at 1:27. The way they’ve treated Ryder might be the thing in WWE that disgusts me more than anything else in company history. Seriously.

The Stooges have an idea for something next.

Here are the Stooges minus Curly. He comes out in a fat suit as Hogan but his voice is high pitched. Moe smacks him and he turns into a pretty bad Hogan imitation. The fans are NOT impressed. THANKFULLY Kane comes out, drawing cheers. He does the fire corners thing and Moe/Larry run. Curly Hulks Up and gets chokeslammed. This was so stupid.

Henry says next week he gets another title shot, no DQ and no countout.

We recap the brawl that opened the show.

Lesnar says he’s proud of everything he does. Eight years ago he left and went to the UFC, won their world title and gave them success which he’s proud of. Now he’s proud to be back here where Cena thinks he’s on the top. Cena couldn’t hold his jockstrap in a million years. He’s not here to make friends because he’s a proud war machine but he’s not as proud as the fans should be to have him back.

Here’s a video of the main event guys talking about how great HHH vs. Taker was because we can’t go five minutes without praising HHH or Undertaker right? At least with this one, the match really was that good.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

Feeling out process to start and Cena wipes the baby oil off Otunga. To be fair the guy was probably a fire hazard. Cena pounds him but he misses a splash in the corner and David gets in some offense. Shoulder block gets two. Otunga poses a lot and here comes Cena. The usual stuff sets up the Shuffle, AA, STF for the tap at 5:05.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note but it gave us some Cena to watch for the night. Also it allows for the Brock run-in which is happening as I type this. These two are big deals and they need to be on TV as much as they can when Brock is around. He’ll only be around a few times a month so they need to use him properly.

Post match Brock runs in and low blows Cena (which we get a full replay of in the middle of the attack) and lays him out with the F5.

Overall Rating: B+ This was a very solid show and while it’s a step behind last week’s, the hot streak certainly is continuing. The Stooges thing was stupid, but other than that we’re still getting Cena vs. Lesnar in a few weeks, which is huge to say the least. The key difference to WWE at the moment is it feels like they’re actually trying and putting some effort into their stories which hasn’t been the case for a long time recently. You can tell when they’ve got it in coast mode and when they’re pounding it in, and they’re on a roll at the moment. Blast From The Past should be fun tomorrow night, at least I hope.

Results
Santino Marella/Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Splash to Ziggler
R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy
Lord Tensai b. Yoshi Tatsu via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Punk hit Henry with a monitor
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF

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