Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2006
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to the land of requests here which means I have no idea why I’m watching this. We’re at the go home show for Survivor Series which means things are pretty boring right now. There are some Survivor Series matches at the PPV with the main one being Team Cena vs. Team Big Show, even though Big Show is an ECW guy at this point. As usual I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Here’s Team Cena for Sunday to open the show. That would be captain Cena, RVD, Sabu, Lashley and Kane which is hit and miss to say the least. Cena cuts to the chase and says that he wants to get Survivor Series going tonight, so get out here Big Show and company. Instead it’s Rated RKO along with Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Gregory Helms and Mike Knox with the captains bragging about beating Flair/Piper for the titles recently. You know, like any good heels would do.

As Orton brags about Morriso winning the IC Title from Jeff Hardy later tonight, here are Flair and his fellow legends (minus Piper, who thankfully had a concussion last week. When he was in the hospital getting checked out, they found cancer in him, which was previously undetected. He was saved in time because of said concussion) to say that beating up some legends doesn’t mean much. Uh…..Ric……

Thankfully before Naitch can say anything else that stupid, here’s the Spirit Squad (giving us about 20 people in this segment) to make fun of the old guys even more. This coming from a bunch of male cheerleaders in bright green uniforms. Team DX (Shawn, HHH, Punk, Hardys) interrupt now as this is getting ridiculous.

They want to fight, so here’s Team Big Show (Show, Umaga, Finlay, MVP and Test, bringing the head count to twenty nine people) to say they’re better than anyone else out here. Cena is like screw it let’s do it right now, but Vince pops up to reach the Royal Rumble level. Tonight it’s an eight man tag which is the only logical move here.

Sabu vs. Umaga

This is a Survivor Series preview for Team Cena vs. Team Big Show. Umaga is an undefeated monster at this point and takes over quickly to start. He throws Sabu around to start and pounds away in the corner before scaring the referee away. Sabu is knocked to the floor and sent into the barricade for good measure. Back in and Sabu gets in some right hands but gets superkicked down for his troubles. Umaga misses a charge in the corner and a springboard leg lariat staggers the monster. A springboard tornado DDT has limited effect though and the Samoan Spike ends Sabu quick. Total squash.

Here’s Torrie in the ring to throw out some shirts but Chris Masters interrupts. He makes some unwanted advances on her until Carlito makes the save. That goes badly for the guy with the insane hair (Carlito) as he’s put in the Masterlock. Jerry Lawler makes the save, presumably setting up a future match in Memphis.

Nitro says he’ll win the title tonight.

Flair is making out with Candace Michelle when the Spirit Squad comes up. Ron Simmons is the punchline as expected.

Jeff gives the referee the title for the ladder match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Ladder match with Jeff defending in case you’re stupid like that. The fans are all behind Hardy as they lock up to start. Johnny bails to the floor but comes back in with some uppercuts to take over. The Whisper in the Wind puts Nitro back down but Nitro comes back with a facebuster. There’s the screech from Melina and Nitro gets the ladder. Before it can be put inside though Jeff hits a baseball slide to take him out. A big dive takes out Nitro and the ladder as we take a break.

Back with Jeff loading up the ladder in the ring, only to have Nitro shoving him down and into the ropes. Jeff gets back up and rams Nitro face first into the ladder before going up and blocking a superplex off the ladder. Jeff loads up something off the top of the ladder but gets crotched on the top rope instead. Nitro loads up the ladder but Jeff comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take the ladder and Nitro down at the same time.

Nitro comes back with a catapult but launches Jeff onto the ladder for no apparent reason, causing a fight on top of said ladder. In a pretty awesome move, Johnny jumps off the ladder and dropkicks Jeff on the way down, sending both guys crashing down to the mat. With nothing else to do, Nitro throws the ladder at Hardy in the corner to crush him again. Johnny goes a climbing but Jeff makes an easy stop. A slam on the ladder keeps Nitro down but Jeff’s Swanton attempt only hits ladder.

Johnny throws the ladder at Jeff’s head and dropkicks him down but can’t follow up. Jeff’s back is whipped hard into the corner, allowing Nitro to bring in the big ladder. It gets driven into the champion’s ribs before being set up in the middle of the ring. Actually never mind as Nitro moves it over to the corner instead. Hardy comes back and sends him into the big ladder before climbing up the regular one. They both climb up, resulting in a sunset bomb to knock Nitro silly. A legdrop off the ladder keeps Nitro down and Hardy puts the ladder over him before climbing up to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was more about the brutality of the spots instead of the drama and that’s definitely an acceptable way to go. It’s not on the, pardon the pun, highest rung of the ladder match ladder, but for a free one on TV, there isn’t much to complain about on this one. Hardy doing his stunt show was a tried and true idea and it worked here fine.

Dusty Rhodes is ready for the Spirit Squad on Sunday as well as tonight. The liver quiver line is good most of the time.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Nicky

That would be Dolph Ziggler for you new people. Nicky is on his own here without the Squad. They lock up to start and Dusty takes him into the corner for the ultra rare clean break. They do the same thing with the roles reversed but Nicky tries to fire off a right hand in the corner. Dusty loads up the Bionic Elbow but the future showoff runs away. Nothing of note happens for a bit as they stare at each other to fill in time for the old man. Nicky pokes him in the eye a few times and goes after the knee, only to get sent out to the floor with ease. Back in and Nicky jumps into some right hands before the Elbow ends him.

Rating: F. What in the world are you expecting here? Dusty was 61 here and still the better of the two out there.

Rated RKO is in the back with Lita when Maria pops in. Lita leaves as Maria is all bubbly while asking if Rated RKO can win tonight and on Sunday. Before Edge can answer we hear commotion which the champions go to investigate. Cryme Tyme is making noise for some reason and an argument ensues. Edge says he knows black people because he’s Canadian. The champs leave so Maria gets to watch See No Evil with Cryme Tyme. Sweet goodness she was gorgeous. Total waste of three minutes.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. Apparently Lita has asked for a stipulation for this, so Mickie is blindfolded. Apparently last week Mickie was shackled and the week before that she had an arm tied behind her back. Total squash here with Lita hitting a fast DDT and the moonsault for the pin. Ok then.

Post match Lita goes on a rant about how important she is to the division and how awesome she is. She says she’s (legitimately) retiring on Sunday after the title match between these two which wasn’t that well known coming into this.

Video on Batista vs. Booker T which would be one of the worst PPV main events ever.

John Cena/D-Generation X/Ric Flair vs. Rated-RKO/Big Show/Kenny

All captains here which isn’t a bad idea. During the heel entrance we get the PPV run down. Rated-RKO are tag champions, Show is ECW Champion and Cena is WWE Champion. Everyone jumps on Cena to start and is triple teamed before DX is out here. Here comes the cavalry though and house is cleaned. Edge is left alone against all four good guys and it’s time for a lot of shots to his Canadian head. Shawn adds a top rope elbow for good measure.

Big Show pulls Edge away from Sweet Chin Music before running over all of the guys guys with headbutts. Show loads up a double chokeslam on DX but Flair hits him low. DX hits him low too and we take a break. Apparently the match officially started during the break so all of that was pre-match stuff. We come back with Shawn in trouble due to Edge stomping away before it’s off to Kenny.

Orton comes in for the still boring Garvin Stomp and it’s back to Big Show. The giant kicks him down and drops a leg for two as HHH makes the save. Back to Kenny for a shot off the top for two before Edge gets another tag. After a quick bow and arrow hold it’s back to Orton who takes forever loading up the RKO. Shawn uses the long delay to counter and it’s hot tag to Cena who gets to beat up Kenny. There’s the Shuffle but Big Show breaks up the FU. Show beats up everyone in sight but Cena gets out of a chokeslam. A superkick puts Show on the floor and the FU ends Kenny for the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the point of it was to preview the matches on Sunday. That being said, it’s pretty hard to get excited over something like Kenny vs. John Cena, despite the roll that Cena was on at this point. This was also pretty short and not long enough to get anywhere, but that’s the norm for a match with this many people involved.

Post match all thirty people in the elimination matches on Sunday run in for the huge brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Other than the ladder match, this was a dull show. None of the guys seemed particularly interested in the show tonight and Survivor Series wound up sucking just the same. None of the matches they built up tonight are of any interest to me and I don’t think many other people cared either. Nothing to see here but the ladder match was good stuff.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/12/survivor-series-count-up-2012-redo-2006-man-this-year-sucked/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 6, 2000
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another On This Day as we approach Wrestlemania. I did the show before this and you can check that out in the On This Day section for February 27. Anyway the main story is that Rock wants to be in the main event of Wrestlemania but Shane screwed him out of his chance last week. Wrestlemania is in less than a month so Rock has to hurry to get there on time. Let’s get to it.

We open with what else but a recap of the battle of the McMahon siblings. On Smackdown it was Rock/Rikishi vs. Big Show/HHH but Show accidentally hit HHH with a chair, allowing Rock to pin the world champion. Shane and Stephanie started arguing post match but HHH saved his wife from any potential danger.

Here are Shane and Big Show to open things up. Shane shows us a clip of Show hitting HHH, asking us to figure out if it was an accident or not. Shane seems to think it’s accidental but HHH shoving him down certainly wasn’t an accident. Shane goes on a rant about how HHH made it personal by running Vince off and turning his sister into a cheap sl**. McMahon makes HHH vs. Rikishi in a Wrestlemania warm up match, but that brings out the Game himself along with his wife.

HHH says that he and Shane are brothers so they need to get along. He has to pause for a SL** chant at Stephanie before talking about how Wrestlemania is the Biggest Show of the year. At Wrestlemania, HHH is going to prove that Big Show isn’t in his league. Stephanie, in her eternally high pitched voice, makes Kane vs. Big Show to open the show. As for the mean comment, Stephanie slaps the tar out of Shane. Well that sums it up well enough I guess.

Earlier today the Mean Street Posse delivered room service to Crash Holly and brought referee Tim White with him. A Hardcore Title broke out in the hotel room but the Posse couldn’t pin Crash down on a bed against his will and take something from him. The Posse hit each other with lamps by mistake, allowing Crash to escape.

Kane vs. Big Show

It’s a brawl to start with Kane winning a brief slugout before hitting an enziguri to stagger Big Show. Shane low bridges Kane but the masked man lands on his feet of course. The distraction lets Show send Kane HARD into the steps though as HHH is watching in the back. Back in and Show pounds away in the corner but Kane comes back with an uppercut. HHH and Stephanie are still watching. A side slam puts Kane down but Show misses an elbow drop. Kane hits a DDT to drop Show and there’s the top rope clothesline for no cover. They both load up chokeslams but here’s Rock for a Rock Bottom on Big Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but again the right move was to keep things moving fast. Big Show and Kane just do not work well together and they never have. The match was there for Rock to run in though and that Rock Bottom looked good. Rock always has had surprising strength. Decent enough all things considered.

Kane chokeslams Show post match.

Mae Young insists that she’s coming out with Henry tonight despite having a hand last week.

The APA do a Pulp Fiction driving scene parody to establish that they’re open for business now. Why? “Because we need beer money.”

Mark Henry vs. D-Von Dudley

D-Von charges in but gets beaten down by Henry for his efforts. Mae and Bubba get on the apron as D-Von takes over, only to have Mark pull Bubba in. There’s a Bronco Buster to Bubba and a powerslam for D-Von for the pin. Short and seemingly worthless.

Post match the Dudleys hit a good looking 3D on Henry before looking at Mae. In a scene that would get them thrown off TV in a heartbeat today, Mae is powerbombed off the middle rope through a table. Bubba’s trance is still cool looking.

Road Dogg/X-Pac vs. Too Cool

Scotty and Pac get things going and the fans think X-Pac sucks. Scotty is flipped around and winds up dancing as a result. Off to Grandmaster for more dancing followed by a hip toss to send Pac to the floor. Roadie comes in and is sent down as well before Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Too Cool hits a double elbow on Roadie but he pops back up and throws Scotty to the floor.

X-Pac sends him into the steps and there’s a spin kick to take Scotty down again. Back in and Hotty rams DX’s heads together before it’s back to Grandmaster. Everything breaks down and Grandmaster hits what we would call the Skull Crushing Finale on Road Dogg to set up the Worm. A flapjack puts X-Pac down but Tori crotches Sexay to break up the Hip Hop Drop. Not that it matters though as here’s Kane for a piece of X-Pac and the DQ.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here as Too Cool was on one heck of a roll at this point. The tag division was showing signs of actually being alive at this point as there were several decent to good teams running around. The division got hot as a result, but it reached unthinkable heights with the advent of triple ladder matches with tables and chairs on the side.

Post match Kane beats up Roadie as well.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle is defending here but doesn’t like the idea of facing a has been like Jericho. Cue the Canadian who makes fun of Angle for living with his mom and tells said mom to put down the whiskey and watch her son get a beating. I believe this is the debut of the Kirk Angel moniker. They speed things up to start while I believe botching a leapfrog spot with Jericho hitting an elbow instead of ducking underneath but it looked ok.

The champion comes back with a hot shot before pounding away in the corner, only to have Jericho do the exact same thing. Well if you’re going to copy someone, copy an Olympian. Angle gets up a boot in the corner to stop a charging Jericho. Chris tries the flying forearm but hits the referee by mistake. There’s the Lionsault but there’s no referee meaning no new champion. Angle loads up a title belt shot but gets caught in the Walls for his efforts. Jericho pulls it to the middle of the ring but…..BOB BACKLUND comes in for a crossface chickenwing on Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C+. It’s Angle vs. Jericho so you know it’s going to be good. This was unfortunately short but they would get a lot more time and a lot more Benoit at Wrestlemania, making for an awesome match. These guys would dominate the midcard for over a year and then move up to the main event soon after that. Good stuff here but short.

HHH vs. Rikishi

Non-title of course. Rikishi has a bad ankle coming into this. A quick Pedigree attempt is countered but Rikishi can’t sit on HHH’s chest just yet. Instead is an avalanche in the corner to put HHH down and there’s the Stinkface. A Stephanie distraction allows for a low blow to stop Rikishi dead. Rikishi is sent shoulder first into the post so HHH can stomp and choke away back inside. A facebuster puts Rikishi down because HHH doesn’t follow his racial stereotypes. HHH finally wakes up and goes after the BIG FREAKING CAST on Rikishi’s leg. He pounds away in the corner but walks into a Samoan Drop to give the fat man a breather. Rikishi knocks him into the corner but Stephanie slides in a chair. A blast to the fat man’s back is good for the DQ and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Not much here as yet again it’s to set up the post match stuff. Rikishi would go on to solid success over the rest of the year, but at the end of the day he was a dancing Samoan in a thong and there’s a limit on how far you can take that. The match was ok enough but the ankle stuff took way too long to get to. Also what is with all the DQ’s tonight?

Post match the Rock comes out and hits a Rock Bottom on HHH to set up the Banzai from Rikishi. Too Cool and Rikishi do some dancing.

Promo for Rock being on Saturday Night Live in a few weeks to promote Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane go to talk to HHH about something.

Matt Hardy vs. Steve Blackman

This would still be the Head Cheese period for Blackman so Snow wants an army of midgets carrying platters of cheese during the entrance. Blackman threatens the production guy with violence if any of that happens. To show you how confusing the Hardys were back in the day, Jeff is announced as the guy in the match but it’s Matt in there instead. I couldn’t remember which was which either at this point. Blackman kicks Matt down to start and blocks the tornado DDT out of the corner.

A quick legdrop by Matt gets two as the fans are dead for this. Blackman gets sent to the floor and there’s a big dive to take him out. Matt heads to the apron, only to get caught in a kind of gutbuster, sending him face first into the steps. Back inside Blackman poses some more and hits a backbreaker, only to jump into a boot to the face. A DDT gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a German suplex by Blackman for two. Jeff and Snow get in a fight on the floor as Blackman goes up for a kick to the chest for the pin.

Rating: D. I have no idea why this match got five minutes but it didn’t work at all. This kept going and going before it ever got anywhere close to going anywhere. The Hardys were a good bit away from being what they would become yet while Head Cheese never quite got anything going. The fans were into them though so I guess there’s that.

Shane and Big Show convince HHH to make Rock vs. Benoit in a cage match. Didn’t Shane have match making powers an hour and a half ago? Why did he need HHH and Stephanie?

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Edge and Christian

This was during the brief period where Terri managed Edge and Christian so she’s on commentary here. Edge gets double teamed to start but he fires off a faceplant to stop Saturn. Off to Christian for a double hiptoss by the Canadians. It’s back to Edge who has his knee taken out by Saturn with a chop block. Saturn works over the knees as Terri rambles on about how awesome she is. Dean comes in to crank on the leg a bit before cannonballing down onto it.

Edge comes back with an enziguri to take Malenko down and there’s the double tag to bring in Christian vs. Saturn. JR is getting sick of Terri and I can’t blame him a bit. Thankfully she gets up to watch as everything breaks down, only to get knocked down by Edge as Dean punches him. An Eddie Guerrero distraction lets the Radicalz go High/Low on Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was acceptable but DEAR GOODNESS was Terri annoying. Thankfully Edge and Christian got away from her soon after this once the brass figured out the truth about Terri: no one cared about her at all. Besides, Trish Stratus would be debuting in less than two weeks and she blew Terri out of the water in the looks department so there was no real need for Terri to be around anymore.

Hardcore Title: Crash Holly vs. Viscera

The challenging Viscera throws Crash around to start and we head into the crowd very quickly. Crash runs to the back but gets caught again and whipped into whatever Viscera can find. They wind up at the APA office where Crash gets in a low blow. Viscera stumbles into the card table so the APA lays him out, giving Crash the fluke pin. Surprisingly enough, Viscera’s only Hardcore Title reign came in the battle royal at Wrestlemania. You would think he would be a natural fit for that belt.

We look at Mae getting beaten up earlier.

Rock thinks HHH and Stephanie are nuts if they think the cage match tonight gets rid of their problems.

Mark Henry goes after the Dudleys but gets beaten down.

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit

Cage match here and I think it’s escape only for a change. They slug it out to start with Benoit pounding away into the corner. A big clothesline puts Benoit down but Rock can’t escape. Benoit suplexes Rock down but there’s a hard elbow from Rock to come back. Benoit comes back as Shane and Big Show come out for a closer look. Chris pounds away in the corner but gets backdropped into the cage to shift the momentum again.

Rock gets crotched as he tries to get out and here are HHH and Stephanie. Another suplex puts Rock down but he comes back with right hands and choking. Benoit suplexes him again to put Rock down but he crotches himself trying to get down. Rocky’s problem becomes apparent: Rock can’t escape because of who is waiting outside. Benoit fights back with chops, tying Rock up in the ropes in the process.

Rock escapes the ropes and avoids a charge before sending Benoit into the cage. Benoit goes up top for the Swan Dive but it knocks Benoit silly again. Rock stops him from escaping and hits the spinebuster, only to get caught in Rolling Germans from the Canadian. Rock escapes the third and grabs a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to put both guys down. The climb has to be slow though because of HHH and Benoit. They both climb the cage but Rock sits down and hits a wicked powerbomb to take him out. HHH tries to climb up and stop Rock but is punched down onto Big Show, allowing Rock to escape for the win.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work all that well for me. As is the case with almost everything else associated with the main event at this point, this was overdone. I get the idea they were going for, but the match became all about Rock having to deal with HHH and Big Show instead of Benoit, who was made to look like an afterthought here.

Post match it’s a 3-1 beatdown and they get him back inside the cage. HHH gets a chair and the fans want Rikishi. Rock gets sent into the cage but HHH’s chair shot hits Big Show instead. HHH gets punched down as Shane runs out of the cage to escape. Rock stands on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This didn’t do it for me all that well. I’ll give them this though: the reaction when Rock gets into the main event of Wrestlemania is going to be through the moon. Other than that though, the show isn’t really clicking all that well. That would be the case at Wrestlemania as well, with only the main event and two other matches having any kind of interest whatsoever. This didn’t work all that well but with the amount of wrestling on it, there isn’t much to complain about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 2013
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re inching closer to Wrestlemania and the Raw World Title match is set. Rock is going to be defending against John Cena, who locked up his spot as #1 contender after winning a masterpiece of a match against CM Punk last week. That now leaves Punk without an opponent for Wrestlemania so maybe tonight we’ll find out who that is. The rest of the card will likely continue to take shape as well. It’s also Old School Raw II which was incredibly entertaining the first time around. Let’s get to it.

After we see the new WWE logo and the old school Raw entrance from the early 90s, we hear a gong go off in the arena as the Undertaker makes his return. He appears on stage and a Wrestlemania logo appears behind him…and that’s that. Ok then. Also the set is the old RAW letters.

After a quick video on the history of Raw, (and a shot of Cole in the snappy yellow blazer and King in full royal attire), here’s CM Punk to really get us going. We have the old school red, white and blue ropes and the guardrail instead of a barricade. Punk talks about being cheated out of the world title last week by the fans (not exactly sure how) and if he isn’t fighting for the world title at Wrestlemania, what’s the point in fighting at all? Then he saw that Undertaker was back and changed his thoughts. if he can’t be world champion, he might as well be the guy that makes Undertaker 20-1.

Randy Orton comes out though because he has other ideas. Orton thinks that since he’s been the dominant predator in WWE in the last few years, he should get the chance to avenge his past loss to Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Big Show adds his name into things and says it should be a giant facing the Undertaker. Sheamus thinks he should get a shot too since he’s never lost to Undertaker, but Vickie Guerrero interrupts before anyone else can add their names. Tonight it’s a fatal fourway between Orton, Punk, Sheamus and Big Show with the winner facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here. Ryback starts off fast and rams into Cesaro to send him flying away. Back in and Ryback hits a fast suplex for no cover, sending Cesaro to the floor again. Ryback goes out to get him this time but is knocked into the old school barricade, stopping the monster cold. Cesaro throws him back in and pounds away as we take a break. Back with Cesaro countering the Meat Hook with the European Uppercut and loading up the Neutralizer, only for Ryback to counter into the Shell Shock in mid lift for the pin at 8:01.

Rating: D+. This is getting stale in a hurry. As I’ve complained about on Smackdown lately, having the same match over and over again isn’t interesting but rather repetitive. We don’t gain anything from seeing Ryback beat Cesaro over and over again. It doesn’t do anything for either guy and other than the ending, this wasn’t anything interesting.

Post match Mark Henry comes out and stares down Ryback but walks past him towards the ring instead of starting a fight.

Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry

This is about what you would expect: Ryder gets in a few punches and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam and the pin at 54 seconds.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Miz has something to say but can’t get his microphone to work. Once he does, he introduces Ric Flair to be in his corner. Feeling out process to start until Ziggler takes over with some shots in the corner. Miz fights back with a shot to the face and sends Ziggler out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ziggler kicking Miz in the leg and putting on a chinlock, complete with a fancy bridge. Miz fights up and pounds away on Ziggler before sliding through his legs for two off a sunset flip.

The Reality Check gets two and Miz goes after the knee, only to be caught in a DDT. The Zig Zag is avoided but Ziggler grabs the sleeper hold instead. Miz rolls out of it and tosses Ziggler in the air so he crashes onto the mat below. A corner clothesline by Miz sets up the top rope ax handle but as the referee is checking on Ziggler, big E. Langston attacks Miz. Flair goes after Langston to no avail, but back in the ring Miz takes out Ziggler’s leg and puts on the Figure Four for the submission at 10:14.

Rating: C-. I was hoping we were away from the whole Miz/Flair thing but naturally we have to keep it going. It doesn’t make anyone look better but rather just gets makes Miz look like a guy doing stuff completely against his nature. The Figure Four doesn’t fit for him and it’s not like the hold is a big upgrade for him or anything. I’m thinking Ziggler doesn’t get the title anymore, as he becomes more of a jobber every night.

It’s time for Point/Counterpoint with the Rock and John Cena so here’s the WWE Champion. Rock has to wait for the fans to stop cheering before he can talk. He talks about being in Panama recently but he knew he was coming to Raw so he was packing. Apparently a woman at the airport named Donna said he needed a jacket. Rock called her Sally because it doesn’t matter what her name is, but he doesn’t need a jacket because of the electricity inside him.

Then he got here and SWEET GOODNESS it was COLD. Not that it mattered though because FINALLY the Rock had come back to Buffalo. He’s been looking forward to this day for a long time because it means we’re 34 days from Wrestlemania. Cue John Cena for an interruption, or perhaps he’s the counterpoint. Cena talks about how Rock has conquered everything he’s done and therefore doesn’t know what it’s like to fail. Last year Cena talked about how he had to win the match last year but he didn’t do that.

The fans chant CENA SUCKS as Cena talks about how this is his chance to rewrite history. It was no coincidence that he won the Royal Rumble on the same night that Rock won the WWE Title or that he finally beat Punk when it mattered most. The loss to the Rock is the reason everything fell apart for him last year but he gets a chance to rewrite history and he won’t let it pass by.

Rock is glad to see the fire back in Cena because Cena was the man that Rock wanted to face at Wrestlemania. The Rock knows what the WWE Championship means to Cena and that no one in the WWE locker room has the fire and desire to win like Cena……except the Rock. As much as it means to Cena, it means that much more to the Rock. When the Rock gets to connect with all of the fans, that means more to Rock than anything.

Cena quotes WWE Hall of Famer Mike Tyson by talking about wanting to eat Rock’s children. It’s a shame that Tyson is remembered for that, because Tyson also said that in order to be the best man living, you have to beat everyone else. The Rock is the only thing Cena hasn’t been able to conquer. At Wrestlemania 29, the Rock’s time is up and Cena’s time is now. Rock says his time is just getting started. He has a quote for Cena: winning is about heart, but you have to have it in the right place. That’s from Lance Armstrong and he was full of nonsense just like Cena.

Cena says Rock has the same confidence that he had a year ago. In 34 days, Cena is making history by becoming the WWE Champion again. Rock says the difference between the two of them is that Cena thinks he can beat Rock but Rock knows he can beat Cena. At Wrestlemania, Rock is beating Cena again, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Jack Swagger vs. Jim Duggan

Swagger gets no entrance and Duggan has Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes with him. Jack steals the 2×4 and stands on the floor for a bit before bringing the board into the ring with him and knocking out Duggan with it. He beats up the other legends as well and I don’t think the bell ever rang to end this. We’ll say it lasted about 45 seconds.

Swagger puts Duggan in the ankle lock post match.

We get a trailer for Marine 3.

After a break, Swagger says this is his America, but Del Rio jumps him, triggering a brawl in the back.

Ted DiBiase Sr. is at ringside for the next match.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

This is non-title and apparently if the Players win, DiBiase might be their manager. Kane and Young start things off but it’s quickly off to Bryan to work on Young’s arm. He fires off kicks at Darren and dropkicks him down for two. Off to Titus who runs over Bryan and suplexes Young down onto Daniel’s chest. Back to Darren for some fist drops for two before it’s back to Titus.

After a quick chinlock, Bryan avoids a charging Titus in the corner. It’s off to Kane vs. Young now with the big man running over Darren. A low dropkick has Young in trouble and there are some clotheslines in the corner. A side slam gets two for Kane as everything breaks down. Titus is low bridged to the floor and Bryan hits the running knee off the apron to take him down. Darren goes up to the middle rope but jumps into the chokeslam for the pin at 3:45.

As Tensai (now called Sweet T) and Brodus dance, here’s Honky Tonk Man. Before he can say anything though, the dancing fat guys’ opponents, 3MB, takes his mic away. Slater tells him to go back to Vegas with the other Elvis impersonators and get out of the ring.

3MB vs. Tensai/Brodus Clay

It’s Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater here. Drew pounds away in the corner to start but gets rolled up and pinned in 25 seconds.

Post match everyone dances and Slater gets hit with a guitar.

Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango

Fandango has a good looking ballroom dancer with him. Before the match though, Fandango says he won’t debut until Justin Roberts can pronounce his name correctly. Roberts tries a few times but Fandango isn’t pleased. No match.

We recap the HHH/Lesnar confrontation that opened Raw last week.

Here’s HHH to address Lesnar. The name graphic says that HHH is a superstar instead of the COO or whatever his job title is. HHH says he hasn’t been in the ring since eight days after Summerslam. He talked about how he might be done but he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince us or himself. After the cast was off, he was right back in the gym training. He didn’t have a goal in mind though because he was doing his day job in a suit, even cutting his hair to look the part.

Then he found himself sitting in a hospital room next to an old man that just had hip replacement surgery. HHH put aside his wife and kids crying, because now he had a reason. Then the old man got out of his bed and got beaten up by Brock Lesnar again, but it made HHH happy because now he has a reason. If Lesnar thinks they’re done, reach on top of your head and feel the staples that closed the cut on Lesnar’s head. HHH says it’s no coincidence that he’s here five weeks from Wrestlemania, because he’s calling Lesnar out. It’s up to Lesnar now.

Shield talks about how Sheamus, Orton and Big Show are throwing their hat in the ring to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Rollins talks about how Shield has an undefeated streak of their own, so maybe people trying to make history should remember that the eye of justice is always watching. Big Show isn’t getting another cheap shot on them either like he did on Smackdown.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title of course. Wade pounds away in the corner to start but gets caught in the Backstabber for his efforts. Swagger and Colter come out to watch on the stage. Barrett slides back in and hits Winds of Change for two before dropping some elbows for the same. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Del Rio fights up and grabs the cross armbreaker on the ropes. He has to break at four though, allowing Barrett to hit a big boot to the face, sending the world champion to the floor.

Some knees to Del Rio’s head get two but Barrett misses a middle rope elbow. Del Rio kicks Barrett in the face and some clotheslines put him down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Wade down and a low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Alberto charges into another boot though and Barrett loads up the pumphandle slam. Del Rio easily escapes though and the cross armbreaker gets the submission for Alberto at 4:56.

Rating: C. This is another match that is rapidly joining the list of matches we’ve seen and don’t need to see again for a long time. Again, is there ANYONE else that could be used to put Del Rio over than the Intercontinental Champion? The title is a prop now because Barrett constantly loses and he never defends the stupid belt. That’s what makes it a prop: no one wanting the title. If no one wants it, why should I care that Barrett owns it?

It’s time for another Colter/Swagger video. They don’t like the backlash they’re receiving for some of their opinions. They like the times when you could be mad about someone taking something that belongs to you. Real Americans refuse to use politically correct terms. The best thing people can do is respect them, because if not there will be real Americans that are ready to fight for them.

Here are the New Age Outlaws apparently for a match. We get a censored version of the signature entrance and you can see the younger fans confused by what they’re seeing. The older ones are loving it though, which si the point of a show like this.

New Age Outlaws vs. Primo/Epico

Dogg and Epico get things started and there are the shaking punches followed by the shaky knee drop for two for Roadie. Primo distracts Dogg though and Epico gets in a dropkick to take over. The cousins work over Roadie with Epico hitting a slingshot elbow for no cover. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Roadie fights up and the two of them collide. Hot tag brings in Billy who pounds away on both guys before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down and the Fameasser ends Primo at 2:58.

We recap the Rock/Cena segment from earlier.

We get some TOUTING IT OUT from the fans about tonight’s events.

We have a lot of birthday cakes and cupcakes for Mae Young’s 90^th birthday and most of the roster is here to celebrate. Mean Gene comes out to introduce Mae and the Divas help her to the ring. Everyone sings Happy Birthday to her but CM Punk interrupts. Well that was rude.

CM Punk vs. Sheamus vs. Big Show vs. Randy Orton

I think this is one fall to a finish. There are no tags so everyone is in the ring at once. Punk heads to the floor but Orton and Sheamus go out to surround him. Punk slides back in and has to fight Big Show which goes as badly as you would expect for him. Sheamus and Orton try their luck on Big Show and are both knocked down almost immediately. Orton finally gets him to the floor, giving us Sheamus vs. Randy for a bit.

Orton hits the backbreaker and Punk tries to steal a pin to no avail. The Irish Curse puts Orton down and Punk tries to steal it again. This time though Sheamus catches him and the good guys toss him to the outside. Big Show is back though and a single shot puts both Sheamus and Orton down as we take a break.

Back with Punk in control of Orton but Randy comes back with the powerslam. A t-bone suplex puts Punk down for two but Punk escapes the Elevated DDT. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder for two but seems to be limping a bit. There are the ten forearms to Punk’s chest but Big Show takes Sheamus down with the Final Cut for two. Punk breaks it up and fires off knees to Show’s head.

Show pops back up though and knocks Punk out with the WMD. Sheamus tries to fight Show and spears him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. The WMD misses Sheamus and a kind of cross body takes Big Show down. The giant comes right back though, only to miss a Vader Bomb. White Noise puts Big Show down but it only gets two.

Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick on Show but Orton catches him in the powerslam. A chokeslam puts down both Orton and Sheamus but the one on Sheamus only gets two. The WMD misses Sheamus and the Brogue Kick lays out Big Show. An RKO lays out Sheamus but Punk comes in with a GTS for the pin on Orton at 12:40.

Rating: C+. While it was pretty obvious that Punk was winning here, the match wasn’t bad at all. They did the right thing by having everyone moving around quickly and the finish was nicely done. Punk vs. Undertaker is a solid match and definitely the second biggest match on the show. It wasn’t Punk vs. Cena but it did what it was supposed to do.

Post match Undertaker comes out to stare down Punk to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was good and bad at the same time. The good stuff here was the Wrestlemania build. The card seems to be mostly set now and it’s time to push towards the show. That stuff, mainly Rock vs. Cena, was good for the most part. Then we get to the bad stuff, which is the Old School stuff. As I’ve mentioned before, having legends come out over and over again doesn’t do much for the fans other than the older ones.

If you want to do nostalgia, use people like the Outlaws or bring in Val Venis or Godfather or freaking Steve Blackman or something like that. You know, people from the Attitude Era that is now apparently the GREATEST THING EVER in wrestling. On top of that, guys like Duggan, DiBiase, Honky Tonk Man and most of the other legends here were barely ever even on Raw other than Flair and the Outlaws. Use nostalgia correctly people. I assure you it’s not that hard.

Results

Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock

Mark Henry b. Zack Ryder – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Figure Four Leg Lock

Jim Duggan b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger hit Duggan with a 2×4

Brodus Clay/Tensai b. 3MB – Rollup to McIntyre

Alberto Del Rio b. Wade Barret – Cross Armbreaker

New Age Outlaws b. Epico/Primo – Fameasser to Primo

CM Punk b. Big Show, Sheamus and Randy Orton – GTS to Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Have you ever noticed that you never hear anything about Raw from 1994-1996? It strikes me as odd that no one every talks about it so why not take a look at an episode from one of those years? We’ve got four weeks from Wrestlemania here and Shawn Micahels is on the way to the main event to face Bret Hart for the world title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick preview, which says we’re going to get an announcement on the Ultimate Warrior, a film from Goldust in Piper’s Pit, plus Shawn vs. 1-2-3 Kid and Bret vs. HHH.

Shawn Michaels vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Kid tries to charge at Shawn but gets backdropped out to the floor for his efforts. The match actually starts and there’s a headlock from Kid to get us going. Kid is heel here and I believe is part of the Million Dollar Corporation, or at worst just left them very recently. Shawn speeds things up but gets elbowed in the ribs to slow him down. Kid poses a lot and gets caught in a sunset flip for two followed by a gorilla press. A clothesline puts Kid on the floor and Shawn skins the cat back in.

Bret is shown watching in the back and says some of the stuff Shawn is getting away with here wouldn’t work on him. A headlock takeover puts Kid down and Shawn cranks on the head for a bit. Back up and Kid hits a BIG spin wheel kick to take Shawn’s head off and a dropkick puts Shawn on the floor. A springboard dive over the top takes Shawn out and the Kid pounds away for good measure. DiBiase (yep Kid is still in the Corporation) gets in a cheap shot which doesn’t please Bret.

Back in and Kid stomps away and hits a quick running dropkick in the corner for two more. We take a break and come back with Kid getting two off something we didn’t see. Off to a chinlock but Shawn fights up. Kid hits an enziguri to puts Shawn back down and it’s off to the chinlock again. Back up again and Shawn hits a running clothesline and there’s the nip up. Shawn pounds away and hits a moonsault onto a standing Kid. The top rope elbow looks to set up the superkick but Kid bails to the outside. Back in again and the Kid kicks him down but a guillotine legdrop misses. Sweet Chest Music hits and we’re done.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly Bret vs. Kid from a few years ago but it was still pretty good stuff. This is the kind of stuff you don’t get anymore: a main eventer getting to beat up a midcarder that he doesn’t have much of a history again. The midcard guy gets to look good because he has nothing to lose and the star gets a win over someone credible. And before you ask, no this doesn’t count when it’s the same match over and over again. Then it’s just repetitive and boring.

Post match Shawn dances with a little girl in the ring. This match is on the My Journey DVD.

We get a look at a film by Marlena called Piper’s Pit. Goldie is in a kilt and on the old Piper’s Pit set. He quotes Sunset Boulevard and says that he’s always admired Piper over the years. We hear about Piper’s lips and this is getting uncomfortable, which is the idea of the character. This goes on for a bit longer and we get the point already. Goldust plays the bagpipes and that’s that.

We look at the career of Ultimate Warrior, who is coming back at Wrestlemania.

Hakushi vs. Justin Bradshaw

Yeah it’s that Bradshaw. Roddy Piper calls in to keep us from having to watch this match. Of note to 2013 fans: Bradshaw has Uncle Zebekiah with him, who is currently known as Zeb Colter. Vince thanks President Piper for bringing back the Warrior and the opponent will be announced next week (it’s HHH). Bradshaw is running over Hakushi as we’re firmly in squash land here.

Piper promises to be in San Antonio for Raw next week as the beating continues. Hakushi gets in a few kicks but Bradshaw kicks him in the face to stop that cold. A powerslam on the floor puts Hakushi down and it’s back inside for a boot and the lariat for the pin. Total squash here that is barely too short to rate, thank goodness.

Bradshaw and Zeb hogtie and brand Hakushi post match.

Mankind talks about being a dangerous child and wondering about some evil man. This guy scared me to death as a kid.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bret Hart

Non-title here. We get going with HHH taking over via a knee to the ribs. Apparently HHH is undefeated on Raw so you can tell this is early in his run. Bret comes back with a snapmare and pounds away on the ribs. Off to an armbar and other arm work as Shawn walks out to sit at ringside. We take a break and come back with Back with Bret going right back to the arm where he can stare at Shawn.

HHH fights up but gets caught by a cross body for two. Hart gets thrown to the floor right in front of Shawn who does nothing at all. Bret yells at him anyway because he’s a paranoid nutjob and even manages to stop a diving HHH with a punch to the ribs. Vince thinks Shawn and HHH might be working together. Nah that could never happen. Bret controls the arm again but HHH hits the jumping knee to put Bret down again.

HHH pounds away in the corner and Vince is starting to panic. Bret gets whipped HARD into the corner twice in a row followed by the Flair knee drop for two. We take another break and come back with HHH jumping off a rope into a raised boot from the Hitman. Vince says it was from the middle rope before calling an atomic drop a spinebuster. Bret comes back with a bulldog and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. The elbow gets two and Bret is frustrated, allowing HHH to get two off an O’Connor Roll.

They fight to the floor again with Bret taking control again. Trips backs away but suckers Bret in for a boot to the ribs. Not that it matters much though as HHH goes up to the middle rope and dives right into the Sharpshooter for the submission. It’s rather amusing now to hear Vince talking about his future son-in-law and the future boss of the company the way he does here.

Rating: C. Not bad here with HHH doing what he could to hang in there with Bret. You could see the flashes of skill coming through but this was about Bret getting to dominate a guy as only he could. Shawn being down there was a nice mind game being played which wasn’t something you often got outside of Undertaker back in the day.

Now it’s time for a shot at WCW as we get TV Trivia, with the contestants Billionaire Ted and some annoying chick. Basically it’s a bunch of disrespectful lines from Turner used to make fun of him. It isn’t funny and I don’t think most of the fans got the joke, nor did they care. The girl keeps beating her by making more jokes at Ted’s expense. There’s also a fake Randy Savage. You know, the guy that got thrown out by Vince and then was a big deal in WCW later on? Stupid, stupid, stupid and thankfully it ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show here as we focus on the main event of Wrestlemania as we should. The rest…..it exists. The squash was exactly what it was supposed to be and the TV Trivia bit was dumb and no one cared. Vince was about to be in more trouble than even he could get himself out of, but we’ll get to that eventually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

He didn’t actually do anything, but there’s a fatal fourway tonight to determine his opponent.  It’ll either be Sheamus, Big Show, Orton or Punk (read as: Punk).

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re just one week after Undertaker beat Austin for the title with the help of both McMahons and Austin broken heart due to Owen Hart passing away earlier in the night. Other than that it’s Rock vs. HHH because this is 1999 and what else is it going to be? This show was requested by someone that I don’t remember for reasons I don’t remember either. Oh wait apparently there’s a somewhat significant moment on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin stunning everyone in sight in recent weeks.

Here’s Vince to open the show and looking like he wants to fight. He talks about how the Greater Power is here tonight and it doesn’t matter who it is. It might be Shawn Michaels, it might be one of the McMahons, it might be Jake Roberts, it might be the bartender from down the street. Vince wants a street fight with the Greater Power tonight so he calls out Shane for a fight. However he’ll sweeten the pot a bit further: if Shane will put up his 50% ownership of the company, Vince will do the same, making the fight winner take all.

This brings out Shane who immediately accepts the challenge, but disappoints Vince because he isn’t the Greater Power. However, he’ll bring out the Greater Power in just a few moments. Ok then.

We run down the card tonight: there’s a Lion’s Den match with Shamrock vs. Jeff Jarrett, the Acolytes defending the tag titles against the Brood, Debra defending against the monster Nicole Bass and of course that whole Greater Power deal.

Austin is in the back talking to someone in a limo.

Speaking of the Greater Power deal, it’s already time for it. Undertaker leads the Corporate Ministry (HHH, Chyna, Acolytes, Mideon, Viscera, Big Boss Man, Shane who isn’t present here and Paul Bearer) which is a pretty impressive army. Unertaker talks about assembling an army for the arrival of a power greater than himself. The Ministry and the Corporation merged to show what kind of power was at hand.

With that, the lights go dark and a man in a cloak comes to the ring. Everyone but Undertaker is kneeling in the ring. JR and King think it’s Shane, but as the hooded figure stands in the ring, Shane comes out through the curtain saying he told us it wasn’t him. Shane talks about what a mastermind the Greater Power is and how smart the Power is. Before we reveal the identity though, Shane wants Vince to be the one that unveils the Greater Power. Vince pops up on screen and says this is close enough for him.

The Greater Power pulls back his hood to reveal……Vince McMahon, saying that it was him all along and that every one of us bought it. Even his family bought the story and he blames Austin for causing all this. The entire plan (oh we’ll get to that later) was enacted to teach Austin a lesson: Vince will do anything he has to do in order to torment Austin. Vince thanks Shane, Undertaker, and everyone else involved with the Corporate Ministry….and here are Linda and Stephanie McMahon, Vince’s wife and daughter.

Stephanie wants to know how this could happen and Vince says it was just business. Linda says let’s talk business then. Vince sucks up to her but she says love has nothing to do with business. First of all, when Vince says that he and Shane both own 50% of the company, Vince is lying. Since there are four McMahons, they all own equal shares. Vince didn’t build this company on his own. That’s why this morning, there was a meeting of the board of directors. First and foremost, there are changes to the dress code. It’s now less formal, with more cutoff jeans. Also, some profanity and drinking on the job are now perfectly acceptable.

That’s not the biggest deal though. The real story is that Linda has stepped down as CEO of the company while picking a new CEO. That new CEO will have FULL authority to run this company as he sees fit. The new CEO: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! COMPLETE WITH A TIE!!! The look on Vince’s face is absolutely hysterical as he is, in a word, absolutely STUNNED. Austin takes off the tie because he has a power finger instead of a power tie. There’s a middle finger for Vince before Austin talks about making a fast transition to power.

First and foremost, Austin WILL be getting a title shot in the near future and WILL be taking his title back. As for the next PPV, which is King of the Ring, it’s going to be Austin vs. Vince and Shane in a handicap match. Vince is fine with that but Austin doesn’t want to hear about that. As for tonight, it’s Shane vs. Kane and X-Pac in a handicap match. As for the remaining members of the Union, which would be Shamrock, Test and Big Show, they can pick any opponent they like.

Since HHH put out Mankind with a sledgehammer last week, there’s going to be a cast match with HHH vs. Rock. Since Rock’s arm is in a cast, we’re going to put HHH’s leg in a cast and have a one on one match. If anyone has a problem with any of that, come find Austin and if he’s not having too much beer, he’ll talk to you.

After a much needed break, Linda and Stephanie present Austin with a briefcase full of beer.

Ok so now that we’re about a third of the way done with the show, let’s recap for a second. For those of you unfamiliar with the story that led up to all this, here you are. Back in the late fall/winter, Undertaker started to get more and more “into his character”, which meant he was starting to become more and more demonic. This led to him starting to kidnap people and recruit the army that would become his Ministry of Darkness.

Undertaker’s plans were revealed as him wanting to own the WWF and run the company as he saw fit, but Vince was too busy fighting the war against Austin with his Corporation. Soon after that, Undertaker invaded Vince’s home and stole a teddy bear, which belonged to Stephanie, showing that Vince and his family weren’t safe anywhere. Also around this time, Undertaker began talking about serving a Higher Power. Vince began to crack under the pressure which became even more intense when Undertaker kidnapped Stephanie at the end of Backlash.

This resulted in the Black Wedding, where Stephanie appeared on Raw tied to an Undertaker symbol resembling a cross. Paul Bearer attempted to wed Stephanie to Undertaker, but Austin made the save because it was the right thing to do, not because of any care for Vince. THIS led us to Over the Edge, where Austin defended the title against Undertaker with both Vince and Shane as guest referees. Shane screwed Austin out of the title, which led us to tonight.

As you now know, Vince was the Greater Power all along, meaning that he terrorized his family, tormented himself (in a way), lied, cheated, acted like a crazy man, and cried on national television, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin. Now THOSE are the actions of a crazy man. Why do you ask?

BECAUSE VINCE ALREADY HAD THE TITLE OFF OF AUSTIN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Austin hadn’t been champion since September. Vince had his Corporate Champion in the Rock, he had Undertaker under his power, he apparently had Shane under his power, and Austin was the only target he had. Why in the world did he allow Undertaker and the Corporation to fight at Wrestlemania instead of focusing everything they had on stopping Austin from getting the title back?

On top of THAT, just looking at tonight, since Austin now has 50% power which gives him more than either Vince or Shane, why don’t they combine their shares into one so that they can balance out Austin? That all being said, the last half hour of this show was AMAZINGLY entertaining and back in 1999 this had me losing my mind watching it. However, much like Russo’s other master plan angles, it falls apart when you think about it for more than 15 seconds.

Overall Rating: …….oh wait we’ve got like an hour and fifteen minutes left don’t we?

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Gangrel/Edge

The Brood (Edge and Gangrel) were recently thrown out of the Corporate Ministry after Christian had told Shamrock where Stephanie was. The Acolytes won the belts last week from Kane and X-Pac thanks to interference by Shane. The champions run over their far smaller challengers to start until we get down to Bradshaw against Gangrel. Gangrel fires off what few shots he can but there’s too much Texas, allowing Bradshaw to hit the fallaway slam to take control.

Faarooq comes in for more of the same as he pounds away on the back of the vampire. Off to Edge who speeds things up a bit with clotheslines and spinwheel kicks. Not that it matters though as it’s back to a still weak (must be the garlic from catering) Gangrel who is distracted by the Hardys and their manager Michael Hayes on the stage. As Gangrel turns around it’s the Clothesline from Bradshaw to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This was short and sour like most matches from this point in time. The Acolytes would continue to dominate for awhile until losing the titles to the Hardys in a few weeks. The new champions would move on to feud with Edge and his new partner Christian, more or less redefining tag team wrestling for years to come.

Here’s what’s left of the Union (a stable of four guys that lasted a month) to receive their blank checks from Austin. Big Show does the smart thing and demands a title match with Undertaker TONIGHT. That gets the crowd going all over again. Shamrock is mad about what Vince did, so the match with Jarrett is out and now it’s Vince in the Lion’s Den against him. Oh dear.

This leaves Test, who says there’s only one person he wants to be in the ring with tonight: Stephanie McMahon. We cut to Vince and Shane in the back who PANIC. Stephanie is all of 22 at this point and looking beyond awkward at this point. Test ASKS HER OUT and she says yes, sending her father and brother into fits in the back. There’s a summer long angle for you.

HHH puts his cast on.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Shane McMahon

X-Pac starts and lets Shane get in a few free shots before taking him to the corner for a BIG beating. Shane runs to the floor but gets kicked in the face for being a coward. Cue the Mean Street Posse in Mankind masks to save Shane and throw the match out, but here are Patterson and Brisco to throw them into the ring for an X-Factor and a chokeslam. This was barely a “match”. Pete Gas gets a Bronco Buster and Rodney gets tombstoned.

Cole is in the back with Debra who wants to change the title match tonight to a bikini contest. If Nicole wins, she gets a title match next week. If Debra wins, Nicole has to leave the puppies alone. Yeah whatever.

HHH vs. The Rock

This is a cast match with HHH’s leg and Rock’s arm in casts. HHH broke the knee of Mankind and the arm of the Rock which is where Austin got the idea from. Rock has a good right arm here so he pounds HHH into the corner but HHH has no balance at all because of his cast. A DDT puts HHH down and it’s time for a chair. JR takes shots at WCW and there’s a chair to HHH’s back. There’s the Rock Bottom and the chair goes over HHH’s face for the People’s Elbow, but Undertaker comes in for the save. I’m guessing that’s a no contest. It’s Rock vs. Undertaker for the title at King of the Ring.

Undertaker tombstones Rock on the chair but Big Show chases Undertaker off.

Time for the bikini contest. What do you want me to say here? Debra is a decent looking woman and when Nicole Bass walks through the woods, Bigfoot takes pictures of her. Debra wins in a landslide and Val Venis comes out to stand up for Nicole. He tells her to hit Jeff Jarrett with the guitar but gets laid out by an errant shot. Val wakes up and yells at Nicole, resulting in Bass dumping her. Val chases after her in a bizarre segment.

We get GTV (basically a hidden camera segment where a never named videographer (it was supposed to be Goldust I believe) would spy on people) of PMS making fun of various men. Nothing to see here.

Billy Gunn vs. Godfather

Apparently Billy hit Godfather with a chair on Heat for some reason. Godfather comes out all aggressive to start and punches Billy into the corner before hitting some knees to the ribs. The announcers talk about the PMS bit despite NOTHING BEING SAID. Godfather loads up the Ho Train but gets low bridged to the floor instead. During the ten count, Road Dogg, who has recently broken up with Billy, comes in and gives him a pumphandle sla. Godfather comes in and drops a leg for the fast pin. Just build for Dogg vs. Gunn, which wound up going nowhere because, amazingly enough, no one wanted to see them fight.

Droz vomits in the back.

Hardcore Title: Darren Drozdov vs. Al Snow

Snow is defending and they never even go into the ring. They immediately fight into the crowd and use whatever weapons just happen to be lying around, like chairs and trashcans because this is HARDCORE after all. They fight up to what looks like a sports bar in the arena and things start getting WACKY! I think you can figure it out from here: pool cues, chairs, drinks, a sculpture goes upside Droz’s head and Snow retains. Seriously, that’s the whole match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Vince McMahon

This is a Lion’s Den Match, which means they’re in a small cage next to the stage. On the way to the ring, Vince says he isn’t afraid. Vince gets in first and locks the cage door. Shamrock tries to get in but as he does, Jarrett comes up and blasts him with a chair, giving Vince the win by TKO. Again, seriously, that’s the whole match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show

Man they’re booking tonight. Taker jumps the challenger in the corner before he even takes the belt off but Big Show clotheslines him down. A suplex puts Taker down again for two and there’s a HARD whip into the corner by Big Show. Taker is whipped into the corner and stomped down as this is almost all Big Show so far. Taker fights back with right hands but a single headbutt puts him right back down.

They both grab chokeslams but Taker uses a Paul Bearer distraction to kick Big Show low. A flying clothesline puts Big Show down and Taker stomps away, sending Big Show out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the steps and sends the champion face first into them instead. A headbutt staggers Undertaker and there’s a big right hand. Taker escapes a posting attempt and sends Big Show head first into the post to get himself a breaker. Show is slammed into the announce table and it’s chair time.

The chair is cracked over Big Show’s back and somehow the referee didn’t notice it. I love how that works. Taker pounds away on the floor and rakes away at his eyes for good measure. Back in and Undertaker goes up top which can’t end well for him. Big Show catches him in mid air and chokeslams Undertaker THROUGH THE RING. The match is thrown out for obvious reasons.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note but obviously that wasn’t the point here. The idea was to show that Undertaker was vulnerable and to make Big Show look all the more awesome which I think they safely did. This would be one of the more famous spots in the history of the show and would be nominated for biggest spot ever at some anniversary show.

Post match the Ministry runs in and is quickly dispatched to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. If you’re watching this for wrestling, you’re better off with Nitro. If you’re watching this for drama, you’re in Heaven. This was ALL storyline and that made it a very fast two hours. The Higher Power reveal is one of the dumbest moments of all time, but man alive is it FUN when you actually watch it. The whole story is still the epitome of Russo booking with how intricate it was, but again when you think about if for very long at all it comes falling down. The Undertaker reign of terror would be done in about a month or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 28, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 12,256
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I don’t know if I just got confused or what but I had a full intro ready for the show from February 28, 2005. Eh this show is probably more entertaining anyway. It’s the night after No Way Out which means that HHH has retired Mick Foley and is still world champion. Other than that Big Show is officially #1 contender for Wrestlemania, which defies any and all predictions going into last night. Methinks something will change tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are HHH and the smoking hot Stephanie to open the show. The Game is all bandaged up but he says he can’t celebrate. He should be excited after last night but instead he’s depressed because of how much he respects Foley. Just a month ago in this arena, the two of them beat the tar out of each other and HHH is sad to see him go. The fans chant for Foley and HHH says he respects him. Stephanie isn’t pleased but he says it’s a guy thing.

HHH has a highlight reel of Mick’s career which starts off very nice but turns into a DX video of the beatings HHH has given Mick over the years. After the video HHH cracks up laughing and talks about how much better the company will be with Foley gone. Stephanie says Foley can now be a fat disgusting retired loser instead of an active one. This brings out Shane and Big Show for McMahon Time.

He talks to Stephanie about how managing the world champion will determine who controls the company because that’s what the main event scene of the WWF is about right now. Shane wants Big Show as champion instead of HHH or The Rock because Show is awesome apparently. They stare at each other a bit and here’s Rock to pick things up a bit.

Rock talks about how proud he is of someone out there. It isn’t Shane for returning last night in Rock’s match. It isn’t Stephanie being a tramp. It isn’t Big Show for going to Wrestlemania. It isn’t to HHH for still being world champion. It’s to all four of them at once for being the biggest bunch of orifices on the face of the earth. That’s not what Rock wants to talk about though. He guarantees he’s going to Wrestlemania and that he’s going to be WWF Champion. HHH actually uses the “this is an A B conversation” line on Rock. Dear goodness I can’t believe I heard that.

HHH thinks Rock blew his chance and says that Rock goes back to the bottom of the ladder. That means that tonight, he gets to face the Brooklyn Brawler. HHH was teasing that it would be Foley before saying it’s the Brawler. Funny stuff there. HHH gets in his own If You Smell line and Shane says there’s no chance that Rock is going to Wrestlemania as the #1 contender.

The Hardys yell at the APA for doing something last night at No Way Out. A brawl is teased but the Hardys want a match. They turn over the poker table to make sure they get what they want.

Hardy Boys vs. Acolytes

We get a clip of the Acolytes jumping the Hardys after their match last night. See how easy that was? Fifteen seconds, angle explained, problem solved. Apparently Terri turned on the Hardys last night and might have hired the Acolytes to destroy Matt and Jeff. The Hardys dive on the APA in the aisle and there go the shirts. Obviously it’s a brawl to start but the APA gets the better of it, double teaming Matt in the ring. Matt and Bradshaw get us going as we hear about Bradshaw’s stock portfolio. He kicks Matt in the face for two before pounding away in the corner.

Matt comes back with a tornado DDT and makes the tag off to Jeff. There’s a flying forearm to Bradshaw but Jeff is caught in the fallaway slam to put him down. Off to Faarooq who is immediately rolled up for two but pops back up and takes Jeff’s head off with a clothesline. Back to Bradshaw for more of the same power brawling but Faarooq comes back in to punch a bit more. Jeff escapes the Dominator and hits a jawbreaker to get himself some space. Everything breaks down and Matt makes a blind tag and sneaks in for a Twist of Fate on Bradshaw to end things.

Rating: C-. This was fine if a little short. As is almost always the case, power vs. speed works as well as anything else does. The Hardys were on the rise at this point while the APA was on its way out as a team that meant anything. At the end of the day though, they’re strong guys that beat people up so it took awhile for them to outlive their usefulness.

Angle tells a security guard which of his two title belts weigh more. He thinks the IC Title weighs more because it represents more countries.

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Angle has made an open challenge to anyone for a European Title match. Before the match he puts his foot in the mouth about New York City before talking about the open challenge a bit. Anyone that wants to come out can, so here’s the opponent.

European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi Phatu

That’s surprising as Jericho got screwed out of the IC Title last night so you would expect him to come out for revenge here. Yeah it’s still Phatu here but that name would be gone soon. Rikishi has a bad ankle but takes Kurt down quickly and drops a leg. Angle avoids the Stinkface with a chop block before pounding away. He walks into a Samoan Drop though and a charge in the corner. Now the Stinkface works and Kurt loses his mind. He staggers to the floor and walks out.

Angle yells about how this was supposed to be wrestling, not whatever that was. NOW Jericho comes out along with Chyna and Angle is trapped. Jericho chases Angle back into the ring for the Rikishi Driver and a Banzai Drop for good measure. Cue the Radicalz to beat up everyone in sight until Too Cool makes the save. Of course now it’s time to dance, including Chyna and Jericho. This was a big deal back in 2000 so the place goes NUTS.

Post break Jericho is about to talk when the Radicalz force their way up to them. Saturn challenges Jericho to a match for later.

Edge and Christian vs. Head Cheese

The Canadians are #1 contenders due to beating the Hardys last night and now have Terri with them. Many of you might not be familiar with Head Cheese but it’s actually a clever idea. The idea is Al Snow and Steve Blackman teamed up for no apparent reason, but Blackman is REALLY boring. Snow of course takes it upon himself to make him interesting, so he tries everything from team names (Snow has head and head cheese is a thing so there you go. Also suggested was the Snow Bunnies) to cheesy entrance music which he tries tonight. Blackman keeps his stone face the entire time and it’s hilarious.

Edge and Snow start with the Canadian hitting a middle rope shoulder. Off to Christian for some modified Poetry in Motion. Terri is on commentary and complains about the Hardys not visiting her enough. Head Cheese (drawing a chant) stomps on Christian before it’s off to Blackman for a one on one beating of Christian.

A backbreaker sets up a middle rope elbow to the back for two. Snow hits a German suplex for two but an Edge distraction breaks up a moonsault attempt. Edge comes in legally now and cleans house but a DDT only gets two on Al. Terri gets up and pulls a big cheese head hat out of a bag to distract Blackman, allowing Edge to spear him down for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but man alive I never cared for Terri. She wasn’t that attractive and she was annoying almost every time she was seen. I didn’t like the match that much either as it made the Canadians look kind of lame in that they needed Terri to beat a team like Snow and Blackman.

The Rock vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Brawler gets in some shots in the corner but it’s the Rock Bottom to end it in about 40 seconds.

Post match Rock grabs the mic and says he doesn’t want to leave New York yet. He wants HHH out here right now for a fight. Cue HHH with Stephanie trying to hold him back. Before they get to the ring here’s Shane to stop it from happening. Wrestlemania is going to be HHH vs. Big show you see. “Well the Rock says if that’s Wrestlemania, then Wrestlemania is going to ABSOLUTELY SUCK!” For no apparent reason whatsoever, Stephanie gives Rock a handicap match tonight against HHH and Big Show for a shot at the title at Wrestlemania. Rock says it doesn’t matter if it’s his last chance and that’s that.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

It’s a slugout to start with Jericho taking control. Saturn immediately comes back with a pumphandle throw followed by a mostly missed Vader Bomb legdrop. A big clothesline stops a Jericho comeback bid but Chris hits the bulldog to put Saturn down. The double powerbomb looks to set up the Lionsault but Dean low bridges Jericho, sending him to the floor. Chyna gets thrown into the ring for no apparent reason and there’s a suplex for her troubles. Saturn loads up a suplex but Chyna comes back in and hits him low, allowing Jericho to hit the Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was fine but there’s something else I want to talk about here. Notice how great it is to be able to throw the Radicalz into the mix like this. They’re known names already but they’re fresh to the WWF, giving their new audience matches they might not have seen before. The Radicalz were an excellent boost to the roster and gave it several new ways to go with feuds. That’s a big reason why WCW was crushed even further.

Road Dogg tells Billy that he (as in Billy) is too hurt to fight the Dudleys tonight so X-Pac will go for the titles with Roadie. Billy doesn’t like this decision and says that with one arm he’s twice as good as HHH would ever be. A beatdown ensues as the Outlaws are done for good.

Hardcore Title: Mark Henry vs. Crash Holly

Mark is challenging and has a pregnant Mae Young with him here. The fans continue their running joke by calling Crash Elroy. Crash gets beaten up and almost immediately bails up the ramp. Mark pulls him back to the ring but Crash sends him into the post and hits him with a 2×4. Henry throws Crash around and loads up a splash, but Mae wants to splash him instead. She lands on Crash but hurts her stomach and the match is stopped.

During the break we found out that Mae is in labor. Oh dear goodness it’s THIS SHOW???

Tazz vs. Chris Benoit

Tazz is almost brand new at this point, yet he’s been around the company longer than Benoit. See what I meant about what bringing in new talent could do for you? They go straight at each other to start but Benoit gets the first big move with a snap suplex for two. Benoit charges into a Tazzplex though, only to have Eddie Guerrero distract the referee. Another throw puts Benoit down but Eddie does it again. That earns Guerrero an ejection Benoit pounds Tazz down and rolls some Germans as Boss Man and Albert come out here to beat on Tazz for the DQ. They had a mini feud going at this point.

Benoit leaves and Tazz is finally put down by a choke bomb from Albert.

Mae won’t have the baby without having a cigar. Apparently she hasn’t had any monthly issues since 1957. Brisco looks between her legs and retches. This is airing on live television people.

Post break Mae Young gives birth to a hand, marking the official lowest point in the history of the wrestling industry.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Road Dogg/X-Pac

The Dudleys won the titles from the Outlaws the night before and this is kind of a rematch. It’s a brawl to start with the champions clearing the ring. Bubba and Roadie officially get things going and Dogg takes the reverse 3D for no cover. Bubba hits Road Dogg a little bit low and it’s off to D-Von. There’s a neck crank to the Dogg for a few moments followed by a clothesline. Bubba comes in and drops a few elbows for two.

Dogg fights back out of the corner and snaps off the shaky jabs, only to have D-Von break up the last punch. Dogg clotheslines Bubba down and there’s the tag to X-Pac. He kicks both Dudleys and avoids a charge in the corner before hitting the Bronco Buster on Bubba. Cue Kane to chase Pac off and chokeslam Road Dogg, throwing the match out.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the match was just filling time until Kane came out. Kane vs. X-Pac went on for a VERY long time and got pretty dull after awhile. Somehow Rikishi would be brought into it at Wrestlemania but that’s another story. The Dudleys were still new here and hadn’t really established themselves yet. They would come around soon enough though.

Everyone not named X-Pac gets chokeslammed.

Big Show and HHH talk strategy.

Here’s the actual tribute to Mick Foley which is pretty solid.

Big Show/HHH vs. The Rock

The team has to tag here and HHH gets us going. They slug it out and HHH actually takes over but walks into a back elbow to put the Game down. Rock and HHH fight up the ramp but here’s Big Show to uneven the odds again. Back in and HHH brings Show in legally for some large man offense. A backbreaker puts Rock down and a legdrop gets no cover. Trips comes back in for some choking in the corner before bringing Show in for an elbow drop. Still no cover though as HHH gets another tag.

HHH sidesteps a charging Rock and sends him out to the floor to keep Rocky in trouble. Rock comes back with a quick neckbreaker but the facebuster puts Rock down again. Both heels double team Rocky but he sends Big Show into HHH before DDTing the big man. A clothesline puts Show on the floor and it’s a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to HHH but Shane comes in for the DQ, meaning Rock didn’t pin either guy and loses his shot.

Rating: C. For a quick Raw handicap main event this wasn’t that bad. The drama was the important part here and that worked out pretty well overall. The point of this match was to make it seem like Rock was going to miss out on Wrestlemania and when I was twelve years old, they did a great job of making me believe it. Not bad here.

Rock gets triple teamed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was pretty decent overall, stupidest moment in wrestling history aside. They’re clearly starting to set up Wrestlemania now and it was a good move not to have Foley show up here. The idea was for him to be completely gone and until about a week before Wrestlemania, that was actually the case. Rock would get his shot back in two weeks so all was right with the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2013
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Tonight is a big show as we have two major matches: Punk vs. Cena for Cena’s title shot and Vince having a fight with Paul Heyman. Other than that, Undertaker returned at a house show on Saturday and there’s a chance that he could be back tonight. There’s also the possibility of Lesnar being in the house, but most importantly of all: WE GET TO MAKE FUN OF GLENN BECK! Odds are we get a midget sighting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brock attacking Vince a few weeks back as well as the scene from last week with Cena challenging Punk.

Here’s Vince on crutches to open the show. He says we need something big on Raw every week until Wrestlemania so why not start with a fight. Vince should be able to do this one one leg or no legs, so let’s bring out the Ultimate Fighter, Paul Heyman. Cue Heyman himself in what I guess you would call fighting clothes. He’s in workout pants and what looks to be a workout sweatshirt.

Heyman insults the Dallas Cowboys before talking about how he’s seen Vince take on every promoter as well as the US Government. He offers Vince a chance to make an executive decision, but as he’s talking Paul spears down Vince and takes out the knee. A crutch shot to the leg keeps Vince down but Vince blocks the other crutch shot. He hits Heyman in the back with it but here’s Lesnar.

Heyman has rolled to the floor so it’s just Brock and Vince alone in the ring. Lesnar stares Vince down and is ready to go but Vince wisely begs off. Cue HHH as Vince bails to the floor. He’s got the leather jacket and the water bottle so you can tell this is serious. The fight is on immediately and HHH sends Lesnar into the post, apparently busting him open. Another post shot has Lesnar reeling and a clothesline puts Brock into the timekeeper’s area.

HHH goes to get a crutch but it allows Brock to fight back. Lesnar hits an AA (not an F5 but an AA) to put HHH onto the announce table. We head back inside with Brock bringing in a chair, only to walk into a spinebuster. A big chair shot to Brock’s back sends him to the floor and there’s a BIG blood stain on the mat. HHH stands tall.

Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler

No intro for Mr. MITB. Ryback easily picks Ziggler up and throws him around to start but walks into a dropkick for one. Ziggler tries to keep things moving fast but he charges into a powerslam to put him right back down. A few chops in the corner stagger Ziggler as the fans chant Goldberg. Ryback hits a modified Oklahoma Stampede (powerslam out of the corner) to send Ziggler to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler caught in a long delayed vertical suplex. We see about twenty seconds of it so who knows how long it actually was. Dolph rolls to the floor so Ryback goes to retrieve him, only to have Langston take Ryback’s head off with a clothesline. Back in and Ryback shoves Ziggler away, only to get caught in a running DDT for two.

The Fameasser misses so there’s a sleeper on Ryback instead. Ryback counters with a kind of Stunner and starts throwing Ziggler around like he isn’t even there. AJ gets on the apron but Langston’s interference doesn’t work. Ryback hits a kind of spinebuster to Ziggler and Dolph is Shell Shocked for the pin at 11:08.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Ryback get a big win again and who better to get one on than the reigning king of the jobbers of WWE? Langston vs. Ryback is likely going to be talked about now, despite the fact that they don’t need to fight just because they’re similar. Anyway, decent match here and good to see Ryback get a win for a change.

Trailer for The Call, starring Halle Berry and with David Otunga.

Here’s CM Punk with something to say. He says that tonight is a night of history and a night that people are going to tell their grandchildren about. It’s the end as well as the beginning but tonight isn’t about Wrestlemania or the people. It isn’t even about the WWE Championship. It’s not about the future and what is more important than the Rock: it’s about PUNK. Punk goes into a big rant about how he important he is before finally saying that in this world, he is god.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame: Donald Trump. Given how much he’s done with Wrestlemania over the years, this shouldn’t be a big surprise.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Khali chops him into the corner to start and Henry rolls to the floor. Back inside and Henry easily hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:24. This was nothing.

We get a look at Marine 3 starring the Miz.

Fandango debuts Friday on Smackdown.

Here’s Miz for MizTV with guests Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. After a break, Miz wants to talk to Jack and Zeb to start things off. Zeb says he’s here to talk to Gleen Beck but since he chickened out, he’ll take Del Rio instead. Colter talks about the problem in America: eleven million undocumented workers who are all calling for amnesty instead of being deported. Those eleven million illegals (his word) are making it harder for Americans by taking things that belong to honest Americans. Alberto cuts Colter off but Miz says let the champion talk.

Miz asks Del Rio how hard it is to become a citizen in Mexico. Colter says it takes ten years to become a citizen in Mexico because of all the corruption. Also foreigners can’t own property in Mexico. Colter wants to know what’s wrong with Mexicans in that regard. Zeb says this isn’t personal, but rather it’s about what Del Rio represents to his people. Colter wants there to only be one Alberto Del Rio success story because he doesn’t want more criminals in his country.

Del Rio goes on a rant about how America belongs to everyone and how America is built on immigrants. He talks about the American Dream of working hard to make everything possible. Del Rio calls himself living proof of that and says Swagger and Colter are hiding behind the Constitution like bullies. Swagger says WE THE PEOPLE will see Del Rio at Wrestlemania.

During the commercial, Colter yelled at Miz for conducting a biased interview, allowing Swagger to run Miz over with a clothesline.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

Orton hits a quick elbow to start followed by a t-bone suplex of all things for two. Cesaro comes back with the gutwrench suplex for two of his own and we hit the chinlock. Orton easily fights out of it and hits the powerslam to load up the Elevated DDT. Cesaro will have none of that though and snaps Randy’s neck across the top rope. The backbreaker puts Cesaro into the corner though, only for him to get a boot up. Cesaro goes to the middle rope and dives into the RKO for the surprise pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. The ending was good but did we really need to see the US Champion lose in three minutes completely clean? That’s the second straight loss in a row on Raw for Cesaro which makes me think he’ll be champion for a long time to come. Nothing to see here and I have no idea what either guy will be doing at Mania.

HELL NO argues over which of them could beat the Prime Time Players on their own. Vickie and Maddox come up to annoy the champions. Due to what Kane and Bryan argued over earlier, the match against the Players will have Kane with one arm tied behind his back and Bryan blindfolded.

We get a trailer for Wrestlemania 21 (you read that right) with JBL and Cena imitating the climax of A Few Good Men.

Next up: Sheamus’ Oscar snubs?

Here’s Sheamus in a suit to talk about the Oscars last night. He watched the Oscars last night and he has a bone to pick with the Academy: they ignored Wade Barrett. This leads us to the trailer for Dead Man Down which has nothing from Barrett in it. Sheamus shows us another clip with Barrett in the background but not saying a word. “Tom Hanks wishes he could have done Forrest Gump that good!”

This brings out Barrett with a rebuttal. Wade talks about how the Irish love green and that’s apparent right now given how jealous Sheamus clearly is right now. Tomorrow night Barrett is going to be walking a red carpet while Sheamus returns his suit. Sheamus says make sure the camera get your good side but with a nose like that, the good side doesn’t exist. They nearly brawl but Barrett bails so he can look good at his premiere tomorrow.

Cody Rhodes vs. R-Truth

Damien Sandow is on commentary. Truth speeds things up to start and Damien calls the hip thrusting disgusting. Cody kicks Truth’s leg in the corner and hits a release front suplex to take over. The announcers talk about bromances which apparently appears in the dictionary. Cody hooks a full nelson on the mat but Truth fights up. Cody sends him into the rope but gets caught in a bad looking Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Sandow runs in and is quickly dispatched.

We get a Zeb Colter/Jack Swagger video about Americans losing their jobs to illegal immigrants. They promise to correct the wrongs in this country.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Bryan is blindfolded and Kane has an arm tied behind his back. Bryan and Titus start but Daniel grabs the referee for the NO Lock by mistake. The Players mess with Bryan with the whistles and Titus hits a clothesline to the back of the head to take over. Off to Young who sends Bryan to the floor where Kane tries to help him. Bryan hits Kane by mistake before heading back in. Young misses a charge into the post and Kane tags himself in. After beating up Young for a bit, a one armed chokeslam is enough to pin Darren at 3:30.

Rating: D+. This was your standard comedy match that was missing the comedy. I’m not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than making the Players look even more worthless than they already do. Bryan and Kane still fight but they still win matches so who knows where it’s going. Other than Shield, is there anyone around that could beat them anyway?

We recap the opening fight with HHH vs. Lesnar.

Here’s the Shield with something to say. Ambrose talks about how they’re what’s best for WWE right now and any three man team they send out will be dispatched just like the others. Reigns says believe in the Shield or be turned into dust. Rollins talks about the three wins they’ve had over super team after super team. He asks if there’s anyone else to fight them and here’s Sheamus. He says come up here and fight him but as Ambrose and Reigns go after him, Orton sneaks in with an RKO to take out Rollins. I saw those two team up against Shield at a house show a few weeks ago so they’ve been practicing.

Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

This was set up by Swagger’s sneak attack earlier. Miz knocks him to the floor to start but Swagger rams him into the apron to take over. Back in and a shot to the back staggers Miz as the fans chant for the non-super patriot. Miz kicks away at Jack’s knee but gets clotheslined right back down. A suplex floors Miz again and there’s the Vader Bomb for two. Off to a quick armbar on Miz but he comes back with a neckbreaker to get himself a breather.

Swagger suplexes him back down for two but charges into a boot. Miz hits the running clothesline in the corner followed by the top rope ax handle for two. A sunset flip gets two more for Miz but Swagger breaks up a DDT. He shoves Miz into the ropes where Miz’s ankle is tied up, giving Swagger the opening he needs. A chop block takes Miz down and the Patriot Lock ends this at 7:13.

Rating: C. Swagger isn’t terrible but he’s still too similar to what he was just a year or so ago. Either way, the match here was basic but ok. I’m guessing there isn’t going to be any public embarrassment for Swagger after the incident last week, but maybe they’re going to punish him behind the scenes. Match was just ok.

After Lawler and Cole plug Sonic for a bit, we look at a video from the end of last week with the debut of the new title and Punk attacking Cena.

We get a Tout from HHH about Lesnar and we see the opening brawl again.

Here are some Touts from fans about what we saw earlier. Nothing of note here.

Cena talks about how important this match against Punk is. He talks about how tonight it’s about to going to Wrestlemania and he requested this match to prove that he’s back. If you still believe in him, you’ll believe that everyone else’s time is up and our time is now.

We get a clip of Robot Combat League hosted by Chris Jericho.

We get a clip of Undertaker returning at a show in Waco this past weekend.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

The winner gets the shot at Rock at Wrestlemania. They have a ton of time left too. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans are of course split on Cena as we get some chain wrestling to start. Punk gets in the ropes to break up a headlock before putting on one of his own. A hip toss puts Punk on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk getting backdropped but popping back up with a clothesline to take control again. A neckbreaker gets two on cena and it’s off to a neck vice.

Cena powers out of it and slams Punk to the mat before hooking a front facelock to slow things down. Off to a headlock instead but Punk shoves him off and hits a leg lariat for two. Off to a CM chinlock now but Cena fights back up. He hits a shoulder block but Punk ducks an attempt at a second. The suicide dive takes out Cena on the floor and we take another break.

Back with Cena escaping an abdominal stretch and hitting the shoulders again. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls over into a cover for two but Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker for two more. Sweet sequence there. Cena picks the leg for the STF but Punk makes the rope.

The springboard clothesline gets two more on Cena but Punk loads up a second, only for Cena to step to the side and hook the STF. Punk slips out and puts the Vice on again but Cena counters into a Crossface (called the STF by that lunkhead Cole). Punk rolls backwards into a small package for two and both guys are down again. They slug it out and Cena is getting madder on each punch he throws.

Punk kicks him in the ribs but the high kick misses. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk kicks him in the head to escape the Shuffle. The GTS is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits on Cena for two. The bulldog by Punk is countered and there’s the Shuffle. AA is countered as is the GTS but Cena hits a Batista Bomb for two. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts. John goes up top but Punk gets up before Cena can try anything.

Cena blocks whatever Punk is trying and knocks him down, setting up the top rope Fameasser for two. Cena can barely follow up though and the high kick puts in the corner. Punk hits a WICKED running knee in the corner but Cena IMMEDIATELY hits the AA for two. Punk rolls to the floor and Cena has no idea what else he can do here. Cena goes out after him but gets sent HARD into the post. He isn’t moving an inch at nine but is somehow in by ten.

Back in and the GTS gets two and now Punk is ticked off. Another GTS is countered into an STF attempt and even with Punk trying to fight off the hold, Cena locks it in. Punk raises his hand to tap but SOMEHOW gets to the ropes. He kicks Cena in the knee and busts out a piledriver for a VERY close two and we get multiple frustrated covers. Punk goes up top and the Macho Elbow misses, allowing Cena to hit a FREAKING HURRICANRANA and the AA for the pin at 26:32.

Rating: A+. WOW. This doesn’t happen often but I was sitting there watching this match with my jaw hanging open. Those near falls were as good as I have seen this side of Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania and I had no idea what they were going to do until the ending. This was a PPV main event for free on Raw and was one of the best TV matches I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing and to people who say “well it wasn’t THAT good”, you’re wrong. Period.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I usually write these ratings before the main event but I had to redo it because of that match. That raised this from a B- to what it is here. That’s happened maybe once in all the years I’ve been doing this. The main event really is that good and you need to find a copy of it as soon as you can.

As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t a masterpiece but the most important thing here is that we can see the Wrestlemania card taking shape. We have our title matches and tonight it looks like some stuff was set up, but Shield vs. Orton/Sheamus doesn’t make sense as it looked like they were setting up Sheamus vs. Barrett. Either is a good option but the tag match probably fits better. Either way, the energy tonight was a good sign and I’m fired up for the Old School show next week. Oh and did I mention a GREAT main event? Very good but not great stuff here.

Results

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my ebook of Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at

OH

FREAKING

YES!!!!!

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 22, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

This is going WAY back into the day, as in the show isn’t even two months old yet. This would be the seventh episode of the series and we’re coming up on Wrestlemania IX. The main story tonight though is that for the first time ever on Raw, Hulk Hogan will be live in the ring for one of the only times ever in the early days. It’s also Hogan’s first on screen appearance since around Wrestlemania of the previous year. Let’s get to it.

Rob Bartlett, a comedian who was on Raw in the early days (and has since admitted that he had no business there and knew he was terrible) says we’re live from New York for Monday Night Raw.

The announcers talk about the upcoming show for a bit and they do the “It’s uncut, uncooked and uncensored.” Again, why is it called Raw?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scott Taylor

In a few years Taylor would change his last name to 2 Hotty. Bartlett: “Who is Bigelow fighting? Some guy they got off the street?” Taylor gets in a few shots to start but a BIG clothesline takes him right back down. An electric chair puts Bigelow down again as Savage has now started calling Hogan divine. He was a monster earlier and now he’s heavenly. A butterfly backbreaker sets up a pair of top rope headbutts to end the squash. Bigelow wins in case you’re some kind of schnook.

We get a pre recorded interview with Hogan where he says that the future for Hulkamania is really bright. Before he gets to that though, he talks about the past of Hulkamania where he is indeed a human being that has made mistakes. I think this is an admission of his steroid use but he never says those exact words. Granted he admitted it in the trial but that hadn’t happened yet.

Now Hogan talks about “tabloid terrorism” and goes onto a mini rant about how bad it is when someone says something and doesn’t back it up. I’m legitimately laughing out loud that HULK HOGAN is complaining about someone making false statements. Hogan issues a fifth demandment: Train, say your prayers, take your vitamins, believe in yourself and now, BELIEVE IN HULK HOGAN!

Nasty Boys/Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels/Beverly Brothers

Shawn is IC Champion and feuding with Tatanka or about to be feuding with him. Apparently it’s the former. For clarity, the Beverlys are Beau and Blake and the Nastys are Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs. It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Sags vs. we’ll say Blake Beverly. It’s off to Knobbs and there’s a double Beverly Pit Stop (don’t ask). Tatanka vs. Shawn is official for Mania. Blake finally gets a boot up in the corner and it’s off to Shawn. The champ hits a jumping back elbow to take Knobbs down and the Brothers get in some cheating.

Knobbs escapes long enough to tag in Tatanka so Shawn goes running over to Beau for a tag. Tatanka hooks an armbar on Beau before it’s back to Sags for the same move. A shoulder breaker puts Beau down and it’s back to Tatanka for more cranking on the arm. Everything breaks down again and Beau keeps getting beaten up. Back to Brian for more beating in the corner and we take a break.

Back with Knobbs stomping away on Beau even more. Blake finally does something by low bridging Brian to give his brother control. Off to Blake legally now as Savage is talking about Boyz 2 Men. Shawn comes in but is only a decoy to allow the Brothers to do the Haas/Benjamin spot of one jumping over the other’s back to land on Brian’s back as he’s draped over the ropes. Off to Blake for a bearhug which goes nowhere so it’s off to Beau for some generic stomping.

Thankfully Shawn comes in to stop another tag or the match might have actually gotten interesting. That was a close call. Brian and Michaels clothesline each other and we get a tag off to Tatanka. A bit of house is cleaned and Tatanka gets two off a top rope chop. The Papoose To Go puts Shawn out but everything breaks down. We get down to Shawn vs. Tatanka and Shawn loads up the Teardrop Suplex but Tatanka reverses into a sunset flip for the upset pin.

Rating: D+. This match just kept going. I’m not sure if the Nastys and Beverlys were feuding at this point but they didn’t fight at Wrestlemania. Then again I’m surprised the Beverlys still had jobs at this point so it’s not a surprise that they’re filling in a spot in a six man tag here. WAY too long of a match here though and it wasn’t good enough to validate this amount of time.

Wrestlemania IX is coming to Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas.

Speaking of people who shouldn’t have a job at this point, Sean Mooney is with the fans who are excited about Hogan being back.

BUY VARIOUS WWF MERCHANDISE!!!

Crush vs. Terry Taylor

It’s another squash as Crush gets to throw Taylor around for a bit. The interesting note during this match: Vince talks about Bill Clinton appointing Hulk to head up his physical fitness council. That’s all well and good, but we get a phone call from “Arnold Schwarzenegger” (Bartlett doing a decent impression), ranting about how he wants that position. Taylor hooks a chinlock and a jawbreaker before Crush throws him off. A few power moves set up the Headvice on Taylor for the submission.

Rating: D. Seriously, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS BARTLETT GUY??? I get that he’s a comedian, but that begs the question: if you want comedy, why is Bobby Heenan not doing this role? He’s a funny guy and actually knows what he’s talking about in wrestling. Bartlett is certainly trying but he’s just not in the right role here.

We recap Money Inc. smashing Beefcake’s already hurt face with a metal briefcase. This turned Jimmy Hart face and has brought Hogan back to avenge his friend.

Here’s Hogan for the first time on Monday Night Raw. He says he has a lot of stuff to talk about but first of all, it’s about Brutus Beefcake and his face injury. Hogan thanks God and Jimmy Hart for helping Brutus through this as apparently that’s enough to forgive Jimmy for about ten years of tormenting him. Hulk calls out Brutus, who looks pretty good for having his face crushed just a week or two ago.

Beefcake talks about how he was hurt last week but thankfully his face is now made of titanium so it didn’t do much damage. Well it broke his nose but that’s an acceptable loss. They bring out Jimmy Hart as their new manager and wouldn’t you know it: Jimmy has always wanted to manage Hulk. So is it like when you’re seven and you pick on the girls you like? Oh and they’re called the Mega Maniacs. Jimmy’s first assignment: get them matches with Money Inc., either singles or tag matches. This was another long segment with some stupid parts to it.

Wrestlemania is still happening at Caesar’s Palace. Nothing has changed in the last 20 minutes.

Hogan and Beefcake are still posing after the break.

Undertaker vs. Skinner

After the entrances we take a break with like two minutes left. Skinner clotheslines him to the floor but we have a G.I. Joe commercial to get through. Skinner pounds away on Undertaker and knocks him to the floor where Taker gets choked. Vince tells us that next week Bret is defending the world title against “one of the Headshrinkers.” Yeah they don’t even have an opponent yet. The show ends with the match still in progress.

Overall Rating: D. I know the shows were bad back in the day, but this was REALLY bad. Hogan and Beefcake teaming up with Hart was the focus of this show but it never clicked at all. Even when I was a kid (five at this point) I didn’t buy Jimmy Hart as Hogan’s friend. They were enemies and it didn’t work that all of a sudden they got along. Other than that the show was dull and didn’t have any good matches in sight. We’ll get back to 1993 eventually.

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