Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

I downloaded this show thinking that it was the 800th episode and that WWE couldn’t count, but I found out that they had a big 800th episode celebration later on. I’ve done that one already, or at least I will by the time you read this. That being said, I already have this show downloaded so I might as well throw it in as a bonus. Let’s get to it.

We open with an in memory graphic for Killer Kowalski. Always good to see.

This was taped on Sunday since Monday was Labor Day.

Here’s Orton to open the show and he’s apparently got a bad left arm. This is his return from an injury and his arm is still in a sling. Orton talks about how a brand is measured by its champions. When he was world champion, Raw dominated. Let’s look at the Divas Champion, Beth Phoenix. She’s running around like a lovesick puppy. And who is she in love with? Santino? Orton could beat him even while hurt. Moving onto the tag champions, how can Orton and DiBiase be called Priceless? It’s more like worthless.

However, that’s not the real problem here on Raw. Instead, Punk is the one running around disgracing the World Title. Four years ago, Punk was nothing in a nothing organization. Now he climbed a ladder and got a lucky win to become champion. Orton would love to take the title back right now but he’s not medically cleared. One day soon though, Orton will come back and take the title.

Cue Punk who looks WAY younger here. Punk talks about how he didn’t have his daddy and granddaddy getting him his spot. He’s world champion and he doesn’t drink, smoke etc. Know what else he doesn’t do? He doesn’t go out on his motorcycle at 3am and reinjure his shoulder for three more months. NICE. Punk calls Orton a joke and Randy goes to leave, so Punk says he’ll keep the title until Orton is ready to come back and lose to him.

Orton leaves and here’s JBL who is in the Scramble on Sunday. He says that in three days, the clock strikes midnight on Cinderella. The odds will catch up with Punk and the fans will get a real champion in JBL. JBL says he can clothesline anyone and pin them. Cue Kane who says he’s been home and hasn’t seen JBL’s clothesline there. He did however see Mysterio there, which means Rey is out of the Scramble match. Now cue Batista who spears everyone and stands tall.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Haas is dressed as Cena in another imitation. Cena is out after having neck surgery so the fans popped big for the music. Kofi speeds things up to start but Haas knocks him down. He sets for the Shuffle but Kofi kicks him in the head followed by some dropkicks. Things speed up again and there’s the Boom Drop. Charlie gets in a right hand and tries the FU but Kofi escapes and Trouble in Paradise ends this quick.

Priceless yells at Orton so Orton slaps them and says take some action.

Teddy and Tiffany go to see Adamle because they run ECW. There’s going to be a battle royal for the ECW Scramble guys as well as one with the Raw guys. Adamle thinks this could become a tradition on Labor Day, like a Jerry Lewis telethon without the sick kids. Kane comes in and says Rey isn’t coming back like Adamle says. Adamle says he was hoping to make Rey feel good and show up either tonight or at Unforgiven.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Finlay, Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero, The Miz

Henry is champion coming in. I don’t think the winner gets anything here. Everyone goes after Henry to start but he throws them all away with ease. Matt is the only one that has any luck against him as he and Miz manage a double DDT. Finlay slams Chavo onto Henry, which is kind of stupid as it keeps Henry on the mat. Miz puts Finlay onto the apron but walks into a side effect.

Finlay comes back in for a double clothesline on Matt to put them both down. Henry throws out Chavo and Miz at the same time and then splashes Finlay in the corner. Matt goes after Henry as does Finlay but they can’t throw him out due to reasons of fat. Finlay is easily thrown out by Mark and after a brief flurry from Matt he’s tossed too to give Henry the pretty easy win.

Rating: D-. So let me get this straight: Henry, the champion and favorite coming into the match on Sunday just threw out all four of his opponents in about three and a half minutes with complete ease. How exactly is that supposed to make me want to see the match on Sunday again? Why are battle royals so hard to get right? They really should be easier than this to book.

Jericho looks at the contract for his unsanctioned match on Sunday with Shawn.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Noble wants to date Layla so she’s here too. I don’t remember that pairing very well at all but this brings it back a bit. Granted it’s not exactly the biggest angle of all time. Regal annoyed Layla when she was dancing and Noble saved her so there’s your background. Regal is in his one piece swimsuit attire and he pounds Noble down with ease. A full nelson is easily countered and they trade some rollups for two. Regal punches him in the face to put him down as the beating continues. Out of nowhere, Noble grabs a small package for the quick pin. This was like a minute long.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before the next match.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Recap of Jericho vs. Shawn which was about Shawn having a bad eye and having to retire. Jericho blames Shawn for it and in a fight between them, Jericho punched Shawn’s wife. Shawn can’t quit after that so there’s an unsanctioned match this Sunday. This is a long
video but it’s good.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Santino debuts the Honk-A-Meter before the match. I saw this match at a house show earlier in the summer. Brown starts off fast getting two off a clothesline. A Shining Wizard (actually called that) sets up the Low Down but Santino moves and gets the very fast pin.

We get a classic moment from September of 1997 and the first Raw in MSG. It was the night Austin first Stunned Vince.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

Cryme Tyme has the tag title belts which they stole. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start and here’s Priceless to beat down the thieves and to take back their titles. No match.

After a break Priceless shows Orton the belts but don’t say a word.

Smackdown Your Vote, the Republican edition. I’m a political geek so this is awesome.

Batista is asked what his game plan is for tonight. It’s to destroy everyone.

We run down the card for Sunday.

Battle Royal

Kane, Batista, CM Punk, John Bradshaw Layfield

Rey isn’t here but he’d be in the match on Sunday. Orton is at ringside when we come back from a break. Kane comes out last instead of Punk for some reason. Batista knocks everyone down to start and hits the worst spear I’ve seen in a very long time on JBL. Batista is a monster but there was zero impact there at all. Kane breaks up the Bomb on Punk with a big boot and Punk clotheslines Batista out.

A backdrop puts JBL out and it’s down to two. Punk tries whatever he can against Kane but the big boot and side slam take him down. Punk hits three knees in the corner but the bulldog is countered. He tries the GTS but Kane elbows out of it. Punk tries to springboard into the clothesline but Kane catches him by the throat and shoves Punk out for the win.

Rating: C. See how easy it is to give us a little drama going into Sunday? All you have to do is give someone other than the champion a win and it makes the fans think there’s some doubt as to who wins. The good part of a battle royal is that it makes the winner look good but the loser doesn’t lose anything because it’s just a battle royal.

Post match Punk and Orton stare at each other and Punk slaps him. Also Rey returns, completely defeating the purpose of not being in the battle royal, to beat down Kane and send him into the post and hit a 619 around the post.

Time for the contract signing. Jerry is the moderator and explains that there are no rules and WWE is absolved from any liabilities in the match. Both of them sign and Jerry thanks them but Jericho cuts them off. He wants to know why we have all the security. Shawn says it’s not his idea because if it were up to him it would be just the two of them. Jericho and Shawn agree that the security isn’t needed here so it’s just the two of them.

Jericho says he followed the advice Shawn gave him at Summerslam, “you know, before I hit your wife in the face.” He told them that he’d never be an egomaniac like Summerslam. Then he said not to watch Summerslam because he doesn’t want them to see what he’s capable of doing. Shawn says his family won’t be watching either. Someday he’ll tell them about it all though. About the day that his father almost walked away but couldn’t turn the other cheek because sometimes you have to spit in the eye of evil.

Shawn talks about how he’ll never forgive him for what he did, but he hopes on day God forgives Shawn for what he’ll do to Jericho on Sunday. They both get up but Lance Cade comes in to save Jericho which goes as well as you would expect for him. Really strong closing segment.

Overall Rating: B-. This was an odd show but it set up an odd PPV. The problem is that there were 15 people tied up in three matches so you could only do so much on TV before the PPV. That being said, the build was mostly good and the Shawn/Jericho stuff was awesome. At the end of the day when you have great promos and great matches, the feud is going to be great by default, and it was, giving us the feud of the year. Good show.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 3, 2008
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the REAL 800th episode, at least according to WWE and is a three hour show. It means I’m probably wrong about some of the previous centennial episodes but does it really matter? Anyway we have a big long card and a bunch of highlights from the first 799 episodes which I’m sure we haven’t seen a million times before. Oh and Batista defending against Jericho in a cage. Let’s get to it.

DX fights Miz/Morrison tonight.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He says to either fire Adamle as GM or he’s walking. Shane and Stephanie won’t fix things so he’s going to put a stop to it. If you think he’s bluffing, try him. Orton gets a chair and sits between the announce tables.

Hardys vs. The Brian Kendrick/MVP

Matt is ECW Champion and Jeff is about a month and a half from winning the WWE Title. We get a clip from Episode #764: Jeff diving off the tower onto Orton from earlier in the year. Jeff vs. MVP gets us going with not much at all. Off to Matt so the Hardys can screw up some basic stuff. Back to Jeff for Poetry in Motion as the fans aren’t that interested so far.

Off to Kendrick who jumps onto Jeff’s back and kicks away at it. Sliced Bread is countered and Jeff hits the sitout gordbuster and brings in Matt. Matt cleans house, knocking Kendrick to the floor and hitting the Side Effect on MVP for two. MVP gets a shot in and it’s off to Kendrick. The referee didn’t see it so while he’s being put out, the Twist and Swanton get the pin MVP.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as I think the Hardys were there to give us some kind of a nostalgia feeling, but it doesn’t quite mean much when the team hasn’t meant anything in years at this point. Also the lack of doubt as to who wins here kind of hurt things too. Kendrick’s push started and stopped in about the course of a month.

We get a clip of the first episode where Heenan couldn’t get inside among other things.

The Kid beats Razor Ramon on Episode #17. That really was a huge deal.

Battle Royal

William Regal, Manu, JTG, Shad Gaspar, Cody Rhodes, Jamie Noble, Snitsky, Ted DiBiase Jr.

Orton is still at ringside. The winner gets an IC Title match next week. Santino is on commentary as he’s champion. He declares himself champion of the world as this match is going nowhere. Snitsky the Bald is sent out by all three members of Priceless, but DiBiase throws out Manu and Rhodes in a nice move. Regal and Noble go to the floor but not over the top. Oh ok Noble is out. We have Cryme Tyme, Regal and DiBiase left. DiBiase fights the tag team and throws out JTG. Shad misses a boot so Ted can toss him, but Regal sneaks in to throw out Teddy for the win and the title shot, which I think he would win.

Rating: D-. Really boring match here with an ending that you’ve seen a million times before. Well you’ve probably not seen a million battle royals but you get the idea. Still though, boring match and it was about as cheap of a way as you could get to give Regal the title shot. Nothing else to say here.

Shane and Stephanie arrive. Stephanie says Shane can handle this, referring to Orton I think.

Episode #409: Vince buys WCW but Shane steals it from under him. Still a huge moment, still amazing how much they screwed that up.

Orton is in the ring again and talks about how Adamle slapped him in the face. Therefore, either Adamle goes, or Orton goes. Cue the dancing McMahon who says he doesn’t appreciate this. Orton says that Vince would get this done immediately. Shane says he’s not his father but they have the same last name. Cue Adamle who says everyone in charge of Raw has always had an agenda. He wanted to be the first unbiased GM, but unfortunately that hasn’t been happening. Therefore, he’s quitting, and also drawing the biggest pop of the night.

Orton however wants an apology still. Shane says Orton should apologize to Adamle. Orton has had an excuse of a bad shoulder lately, but Shane thought Orton looked fine at Cyber Sunday. Shane thought something was up so he went to Orton’s doctors, who said that Orton has been cleared to compete for months. Orton doesn’t want to come back until Survivor Series, but Shane thinks it should be tonight. Randy says he doesn’t have his gear, but Shane says he’ll take care of that. It’s Orton vs. Punk tonight.

Senator Barack Obama asks if you know what he’s cooking. Senator John McCain wants to know if you know what he’s cooking.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Charlie Haas

This is during Charlie’s imitation period so he’s Bret the Hitman Haas here. He even cuts a quick promo but the voice doesn’t work at all. The fans didn’t screw Vladimir at Cyber Sunday. Vlad screwed Vlad. Boot to the chest, suplex, headbutt, pin in 25 seconds.

After a clip of Batista winning the title at Cyber Sunday, Big Dave says he’ll keep the title tonight.

Episode #257: DX invades WCW. HUGE moment here.

D-Generation X vs.  John Morrison/The Miz

HHH is WWE Champion. DX does their intro and we get a clip from ECW where Miz/Morrison made fun of them for being old and then beat up some DX impersonators. Shawn points out that the impersonator has a huge nose. Maybe Shawn just got used to it over the years but THAT THING IS HUGE! They also mocked his chaps. You can punch his wife, you can spit in his face, BUT NO ONE MOCKS THE CHAPS!

HHH points out them making fun of Shawn for losing his hair. Shawn doesn’t remember this. HHH: “Well I’m pretty sure…” Shawn: “No they didn’t.” HHH: “Shawn I’m sure…” Shawn: “Drop it!” HHH: Well ok….” Shawn: “WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!” HHH makes fun of Miz/Morrison’s high school pictures. Miz looks like a horse and Morrison enjoys rest stop sex. Shawn says he’s ready, the fans say they’re ready, we get a clip of Big Dick Johnson giving Miz a lap dance for some reason which traumatizes Shawn, and now we get to the DX intro, complete with more gay jokes from the Game. Funny stuff.

Oh yeah we have a match to get to. This is joined in progress with Morrison getting two on HHH. HHH takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s a double tag. Shawn knocks Miz down and hits the elbow to set up the Kick. Morrison breaks that up and Miz takes over via a clothesline. Miz whips Shawn into the corner where Shawn flips, followed by Miz’s corner clothesline.

Morrison comes in and pokes Shawn in the eye so Shawn kicks him in the head. Off to HHH who cleans house with the knees to the face. Facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree on Morrison but Miz breaks it up, only to walk into the spinebuster. Morrison imitates Shawn with a forearm, nipup and then tuning up the band, with the kick connecting on HHH. Miz and Morrison do crotch chops and Miz loads up a Pedigree, which is easily countered. Shawn kicks Miz’s head off and the Pedigree ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all as Miz/Morrison got to show off a bit here. There was never any doubt as to who would win as the non-degerates didn’t mean much yet. Seeing them imitate DX’s stuff was good though and that’s what popped the fans for the most part. Fun little match.

JBL is with Shane and says he should be the new GM. Shane says he’ll think about it and has an idea about putting JBL in a match tonight. JBL thinks he means making the cage match a triple threat for the title, but Shane says it’s against the Undertaker.

Episode #243: Mike Tyson is here. Another HUGE moment.

Face Diva Team vs. Heel Diva Team

It’s a sixteen Diva tag. Do you really think I’m listing off all of them in what’s going to be a two minute match at longest? There are only seven good Divas so here’s Mae Young to be #8. Beth pounds on Kelly to start but Kelly uses her screaming headscissors, which is her only offense three and a half years later. Here’s Mae and Beth sells WAY too much for her. She knocks down everyone but falls down. A brawl breaks out and Beth rolls up Mae for the pin. As usual, three girls were in the match. If I remember right Mae was legit hurt in this.

Smackdown ReBound of the casket match with Taker vs…..Chavo Guerrero? Big Show interfered but Taker won anyway.

Episode #456: Rock challenges Hogan.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk and Kofi are tag champions here in a reign I don’t think anyone remembers. This is as a result of Orton punting Punk at Unforgiven and costing him the world title, which somehow wouldn’t have a proper blowoff match until 2011. Punk takes him into the corner to start but Orton pounds him right back down. Here’s the Orton Stomp and a knee drop for two. Off to a chinlock which is broken up quickly. Punk avoids a charge in the corner and hits the springboard clothesline. Orton comes back with a clothesline in the corner and loads up the RKO…and here’s DiBiase for the DQ. Too short to rate.

DiBiase pounds on Punk and Orton punts DiBiase all the way into The Marine 2. Ted gets stretchered out.

Rhodes and Manu yell at Randy about it and Randy says if you have a problem do something about it right now. No one moves.

Episode #772: Floyd Mayweather is thrown over the top. This wasn’t exactly what I’d call a huge moment.

Stephanie is looking very good in her office when Adamle comes in. He says he’s leaving because she micromanages. Stephanie says being in charge is her birthright. He leaves and Shane comes in. He has a major announcement about Survivor Series but he won’t tell her.

Episode #475: Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy in a ladder match for the title.

Here’s JR to call the next match and probably the rest of the show. Unfortunately it’s him and Tazz instead of him and Jerry like it should be.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Taker grabs a headlock to start and hits a quick Old School. JBL shoulders him down and punches Taker in the corner. That doesn’t last long as the punching comes from Undertaker now, followed by a big boot and legdrop. The chokeslam hits and Taker does the throat slit. JBL escapes the tombstone and they collide with JBL falling to the floor. John looks to get back in but Taker sits up, so JBL bails for a countout for another short match.

JBL tries to walk out but Shawn throws him back in for a tombstone.

Jericho comes in to see Shane and the announcement is that the winner of Batista vs. Jericho gets to defend against the returning Cena at Survivor Series in Boston.

Episode #304: Ausitn and the beer truck.

Here’s Kung Fu Naki for a demonstration in the ring. Ok so I have his song on my iPod. Sue me. Horny comes in to dance with him. Boogeyman comes in to terrorize them and dances a bit too. Goldust, Jesse, Festus, Hacksaw, Slaughter, Lillian, Dusty, Cole and King all get in and dance too. Why is this happening? Oh ok, it’s so Ron Simmons can get a line in.

Episode #775: Flair retires. I can’t watch that anymore.

Episode #630: Edge and Lita’s wedding.

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry/Kane

Kofi is a tag champion with Punk but for some reason he’s in this match instead. Rey vs. Kane to start and It hink you can figure out what’s going on here: Mysterio moves around a lot and gets in a few shots but Kane runs him over. Off to Henry who runs him over even more. A splash misses and here’s the tag to Kofi. His kicks don’t do anything as Henry just throws him around. Kofi manages to get in a shot to send Henry to the corner and he knocks Kane off the apron. Henry gets tired of being on defense and catches a top rope cross body in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. Basically a squash.

Kane throws Mysterio out…and here’s Khali. He chops down both other monsters and Rey’s music plays for some reason.

Video on Raw being a longer running show than ANYTHING, except for World Championship Wrestling on Saturday Night which ran over 20 years without missing a week but we don’t count that because it makes us sound bad.

Video on Cena, who is coming back at Survivor Series. It’s kind of a career retrospective.

Shane and Stephanie say nothing of note.

Episode #761: Tribute to the Troops 2008.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Batista won the title at Cyber Sunday, 8 days earlier. Pin, submission or escape as usual. Jericho charges straight at him which goes about as well as anyone else charging straight at Batista goes. He tries to run over the top but Batista catches him and hits a suplex followed by a clothesline for two. Jericho gets rammed into the cage and screams in pain. Or is it laughter? He’s always been a complicated guy. Batista rams him into the steel again and we take a break.

Back with Jericho hooking the Walls of Jericho on the apparent injured knee of Batista. There’s some tape on there but you would have to know to look for it. Batista kicks him off but he kicks him to the door so Batista has to make a diving save. They fight near the open door and in a smart move, Jericho throws Batista’s leg out the door so he can slam the door on it. Nice move.

We’re told that the knee injury too place at Cyber Sunday. That makes sense. Back in the middle of the ring Batista hits a spinning Bossman Slam for two. Jericho goes right back for the knee and loads up the Codebreaker, but Batista rams him into the cage instead. A spear misses though and Batista is right back down after hitting cage. Jericho goes up to escape but climbs down in front of the door which Batista throws open and pulls him back in. That was creative.

Spinebuster puts Jericho down but the Batista Bomb is countered as Jericho grabs the cage and tries to climb out again. Batista manages to throw him off but gets crotched to put both guys down. They go up again and Jericho almost gets caught in a top rope Batista Bomb. He manages to pull something off the cage and rams it into Batista’s head which allows him to get over the top. Batista grabs the top of Chris’ head but can’t stop him and Jericho wins the title.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than the Edge vs. Cena cage match that I did recently. The best part here was that they actually came up with some creative spots and we got a surprise ending. Why they gave Batista an 8 day reign is a little unclear but I’d assume it was so they could give us a surprise here, which is fine. Good main event.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show but it wasn’t great. The problem was that they didn’t seem sure if they wanted to do a regular show with nostalgia thrown in or vice versa which makes the show feel uneven. It’s entertaining enough though and that’s the important idea. Coupling that with a good main event and the show is definitely more good than bad, but it’s not a great show or anything.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the 700th show and since I’m trying to find this, #600 and #800, there’s no way of telling which order I’ll be doing these in. As for this show, the main event is Edge vs. Cena in a cage for the title with Johnny Boy defending. This is the go home show for No Mercy 2006, and believe it or not I haven’t done that one so there’s no link to it at the bottom. I’m not sure if that’s ever happened before. Let’s get to it.

We open with the cage around the ring.

Here’s DX to open the show. This has been the summer of their reunion and the eternally long feud with Vince and Shane. We get some clips of Unforgiven and the Cell match which was more or less the final destruction of Vince and Shane. The cage is up now. Before they can say much else, Coach comes out to yell at them. He makes a match on behalf of the McMahons.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Highlanders/Viscera/Charlie Haas

This is under Texas Tornado rules. Everyone rushes the ring and are pretty easily dispatched. This is exactly what you would expect: DX dominates and barely breaks a sweat. Top rope elbow hits Charlie, Chin Music, Pedigree, done in about two and a half minutes.

Coach says this isn’t over yet. HHH says they’re throwing him out and taking over.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Nitro is defending. JR gives us a factoid about Melina: she likes three way sex. Well you can’t say he beats around the…..never mind. Nitro controls to start but Jeff comes back with a quick Twist attempt. Melina tries to distract Jeff but only gets him to dive on Johnny as we take a break. Back with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock. During the break the slingshot dropkick from Hardy missed to give the champion control.

Jeff fights up but misses the Whisper in the Wind. Nitro stomps away in the corner and Jeff hits the post. Dang Melina can scream. Off to a surfboard submission and Jeff is in trouble. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and then a second one as Nitro is in some trouble very quickly. Whisper in the Wind gets two and Nitro heads to the floor. A baseball slide sets up the railing run and Melina gets taken out too. They both go up, resulting in Jeff backdropping him off the top and hitting the Swanton for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here as both guys were still young and fast. It was clear that Jeff was going to be the bigger deal than his brother and that Nitro was going to be a decent sized star himself and this was a good example of that. Nothing great here but a title change is always cool to see.

Speaking of title changes, here’s a clip of the initial MITB cash-in to pump up the main event tonight.

DX harasses Coach through his locker room door.

Next week is the Raw Family Reunion.

Maria is with Jeff who says everyone is gunning for him. This turns into a discussion of Extreme Strip Poker on ECW. Melina comes in and screams for awhile until Jeff covers her mouth for a big pop.

Coach is on the phone with Vince who wants Coach to go to the ring. He opens his door really carefully and this is coming off like a BAD horror movie. Coach walks for awhile but stops when he sees HHH in front of him. He goes back the way he came and Shawn is waiting on him. I kid you not: a knockoff version of the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly comes on, A FREAKING TUMBLEWEED ROLLS BY, and Coach runs into the women’s locker room. DX goes in with HHH being excited and Shawn covering his eyes.

HHH stops to flirt but Shawn pulls him through a door. Coach runs through another door and finds Big Dick Johnson dancing. Coach runs out and trips over a mop bucket, allowing DX to catch up to him. They stalk him out the door and ram his head into the production truck, because that’s how nice they are. They put him in a rolling trash bin and have a janitor throw garbage on him. This ate up like 6 minutes and was either really funny or REALLY stupid, depending on your tastes.

Clip of Cena winning the title back at the Rumble.

DX comes in to talk to the Spirit Squad and there’s a new dress code in effect, according to HHH, “by the orders of Mr. John Laurinitis,” complete with an imitation of him. They have new outfits for the Squad.

Umaga vs. Snitsky

This is when Umaga is still an unstoppable monster. He has a loser leaves Raw match next week with Kane. Power brawl to start with Snitsky getting a jumping shoulder block, but falling prey to a Samoan Drop. The running hip attack in the corner (IT’S UMAGA’S MOVE JOSH, NOT RIKISHI’S!!!) sets up the Spike for the quick pin. Squash. Umaga wouldn’t lose until January when Cena beat him.

Orton isn’t worried about Carlito. That takes him a minute or two to say.

Video on The Marine. That movie sucked but the girl looked great. Cena did his own stunts apparently.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

This is a rematch from Unforgiven where Carlito tried a double springboard dive but Orton caught him in an RKO to end it. Carlito was in one of the biggest pushes of his career at this point but it was dying quickly. Orton starts off fast and sends Carlito into the post and out to the floor. Back in he does it again and Carlito is in trouble. Carlito comes back with a rana but Orton hits a single arm DDT for two. The arm work keeps going so Carlito comes back with a jumping back elbow. A springboard spinning senton gets two. Another springboard cross body is rolled through with Orton pulling the tights for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really boring with the arm work going on for awhile but not meaning anything at all. Carlito’s push was more or less done after this as Orton would team up with Edge in two weeks to form Rated RKO. Not the worst match ever, but did anyone care about Carlito? As in like EVER?

Edge cost Cena the world title at One Night Stand.

The Spirit Squad doesn’t want to wear the outfits. DX threatens to strip them of the tag titles because DX has that authority now. HHH: “Those guys are so gay.”

Cryme Tyme video on a cop having a doughnut. JTG slaps the coffee into his face. We get a chase around a fence so it’s agility training. Uh…yeah.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Nicky is more famous as Nick Nemeth, who is more famous as Dolph Ziggler. The Squad is in female cheerleader outfits. One of them has skid marks. Can we get this over with already? Why is Sarge in this? Sarge makes fun of them and the beating begins. He hooks the Cobra Clutch and spanks Nicky. A gutbuster gets two.

Sarge pounds on him in the corner but Nicky whips him in and SARGE DOES HIS OVER THE CORNER BUMP!!! HE’S 58 YEARS OLD HERE!!! That was insane!!! Nicky hooks a sleeper back inside which gets him nowhere. A modified Codebreaker gets two and Nicky works on the arm. DX pops up for a distraction and Sarge rolls him up for the pin. Too short to rate but DANG that bump was impressive.

Edge won the title back on an episode of Raw.

The Marine is premiering at a Marine base.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Mickie James vs. Victoria

DX says they have to fight in lingerie. I’m not complaining. Trish retired as champion so we need a new champion. They slug it out in the corner with Victoria taking over. Mickie comes back with right hands and a rana attempt but it gets countered into a Boston Crab. That doesn’t get anywhere so they tumble to the floor. Back in Mickie wins with a sunset flip. This went nowhere.

Cena and Edge fought again on SNME with Lita cheating to keep the belt on Edge.

We get some clips from an interview with Eric Bischoff about his book.

Bischoff and Masters are in the back when DX pops up for a book plug. Their words, not mine. He says DX was an NWO ripoff and that’s that. Eric leaves and HHH asks Masters if he wants to write a book. Masters says he’s thinking about it and HHH says “What are you going to call it? How To Lose 50 Pounds In Four Weeks?” That’s a steroids reference in case you didn’t get it. They laugh afterwards.

Cena and Edge also had a match at Summerslam. You may be noticing a pattern here. Edge won with brass knuckles.

The cage is lowered.

Then Cena won the title in a TLC match at Unforgiven, which gets us here.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

In a cage. Just in case the videos they’ve given you all week haven’t been enough of a build, Edge also caused Cena to get beaten up by Booker and his crew. This gets big match intros which is certainly should. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Cena has a bad arm so Edge gets in what he can on it. That doesn’t work at all so Cena suplexes him for two. Edge goes back to the arm but walks into a belly to back suplex for two.

Cena whips Edge into the corner where he tries to climb out but Cena slams him off for two. FU is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Off to an armbar which is quickly broken. Cena takes him down and goes up but Edge hits the arm again to knock him off the rope. A spear puts Cena into the cage but Edge can’t follow up. They both go up and Cena bulldogs him off the top as we take a break.

Back with Edge working on the arm but walking into a belly to belly suplex for two. A Canadian spinwheel kick takes Cena down but he can’t follow up. A delayed cover gets two. Edge goes for the door but Cena saves, only to get kicked in his arm. Now the arm goes into the cage and Edge goes for a climb. Cena goes after him and they slug it out while sitting on the top of the cage. John drops to the top rope and pulls Edge back in by the leg.

Edge suplexes Cena off the top rope and they’re both down again. The challenger covers for two and Cena starts his comeback with one arm. He loads up the FU but Edge grabs the cage to counter and rams Cena’s head into it. Cena tries it again and they go up the ropes, only for Edge to drop down and hit an electric chair drop for two. Edge goes for the door but Cena saves him.

Lita throws a chair in through the door to Edge before the cage is shut and gets ejected for it. Time for a slugout, resulting in Edge clotheslining the referee. Edge gets the chair and misses a shot to Cena’s head that would have killed him. Cena responds by killing Edge with an even bigger chair shot. There’s the STFU but there’s no referee. Cade and Murdoch run in for no apparent reason other than for DX to come in for the save. They take Cena out and drag him to the door but yep, here’s DX for the save. Shawn superkicks Murdoch into the door, which rams into Edge’s head. FU keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: B. This was a TV match and that makes the rating go up. The ending is really stupid because it’s all about DX again. Other than that, this was solid enough for a supershow main event. Cena vs. Edge was one of the most played out feuds in forever though and it got pretty dull over time, especially when it was clear Edge was never going to get the clean win over John. Still good though.

Overall Rating: B. Like I said, this was the supershow since there was a two month gap between Raw PPVs. The main event is solid and we got to see the IC Title change hands which is always cool. Not the best supershow they’ve ever done, but it’s certainly a fun Raw and bigger than most of their shows. DX was in full overkill here but thankfully Rated RKO would form soon to give them something to do.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 26, 2012
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Wrestlemania so I wouldn’t expect much in ring action tonight. They’re probably worried about potential injuries and that’s completely understandable. This is usually the least interesting show of the year and that’s ok because they have the biggest show of the year in less than a week. Let’s get to it.

Rock and Cena square off face to face tonight.

Booker T is here for commentary as well. They’re taping some matches for Smackdown tonight as well so that’s why he’s in the house.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane

Now there’s a different kind of heel team. Bryan kisses AJ before the match, making me very jealous of him. He starts with Orton who takes him down quickly for the circle stomp. Bryan comes back with some kicks and the moonsault out of the corner. Not that it matters as Orton takes him down with a clothesline for two. Off to Sheamus so Bryan bails out to Kane. This would be a pretty awesome pairing if it was 13 years ago for Kane.

They slug it out with Sheamus hitting a knee lift but Kane hits an elbow. Sheamus goes up for the top rope shoulder for two. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross but goes after Bryan instead. Kane knocks him to the floor and Bryan hits the knee from the apron to take Sheamus down. We take a break and come back with Bryan holding Sheamus in a headlock. Everything breaks down quickly with Orton coming in and cleaning house. Kane gets rammed into the post but Bryan hits a baseball slide to take Orton out. Back in and Kane pounds on the now hurt Orton.

He hooks on a chinlock and then adds his side slam for two. Kane goes up and hits his clothesline before calling for the chokeslam. Orton snaps off a dropkick to block it and it’s a double tag to bring in Sheamus and Bryan. Sheamous pounds him down and hits the Irish Curse. The good guys knock Kane to the floor and Orton follows. RKO on the floor is countered and Orton goes into the post. AJ gets in the way of the Brogue Kick and Sheamus gets crotched. Kane chokeslams Sheamus and Bryan pins him at 11:40.

Rating: C. Just a standard main event tag here, but I’m not sure on Bryan getting the pin. Why have Sheamus look weak going into the title match when he hasn’t gotten a one up yet on Bryan? I think I get what they’re going for here but I would have had Sheamus get the pin on Bryan, if nothing else to give him some more momentum.

We get a clip from last year’s Mania with Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on Cena. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing about a thousand of these tonight.

Jerry talks about the Battle of the GM’s and Cole is in the ring in a Team Johnny shirt. He’s the official announcer of Johnny’s team. Here’s the team namesake who announces Vickie as the official flag bearer. Booker introduces Teddy who introduces

David Otunga vs. Santino Marella

Santino grabs a headlock to start but Otunga runs him over with a shoulder. Otunga runs him over again and grabs the Team Ace flag. Horny comes in and it’s a battle of the flags. This lets Santino load up the Cobra after Otunga hits himself in the head with the flag pole. Cobra ends this at 1:30. Tully Blanchard, Magnum TA, Chris Benoit, Santino Marella ladies and gentlemen.

Teddy and Santino abuse Ace post match, but Miz runs in to break up the Cobra, officially joining Team Ace. Johnny calls it Team Teddy but then corrects himself, because expecting him to remember his own name is too much for him in one take. No word on who the sixth man on Team Teddy is yet.

Rock and Cena challenge each other the night after Mania. I still don’t get why the Corre interfered.

Long video on HHH vs. Undertaker with Shawn on the side. Again I have to ask: they do know that HHH lost last year right?

Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly

Eve controls to start but ducks her head so Kelly can do her screaming headscissors. Moonsault misses and Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:31. Yes they gave it that much time.

Rock and Cena teamed together at Survivor Series. Still so stupid.

Christian vs. CM Punk

Before the match, Jericho pops up on screen and says he has some new information. Punk’s mom has no vices, but Punk was born before his parents were married, making him the definition of a bastard. Christian jumps Punk and lays him out, sending him to the floor. I never heard a bell so I don’t know if this is the match or not.

Punk goes off on Christian, ramming his head into the table and hitting the high kick followed by a TON of elbows to the side of his head. There’s a GTS onto the steps followed by an Anaconda Vice. Psycho Punk is working for me. Referees come outt o break it up but Punk jumps over them and puts the hold on again. No match obviously.

Video on Axxess.

Christian may have reinjured his neck so there’s a chance he won’t be at Mania.

Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins

I really hope Brodus is the last member of Team Teddy. He needs something to do. Hawkins takes Brodus down at the knee and hits a bulldog for one. Jerry keeps calling him Curtis. Headbutt to the stomach and a right hand to the same place set up a knee lift, the t-bone suplex and What The Funk ends this at 1:08.

Rock and Cena have had a war of words. This is confined to the last month or so.

Big Show vs. Primo

Christian is officially out of the GM match on Sunday. Chokeslam ends this in 47 seconds. This is my big complaint with WWE lately: why did this need to be one of the tag champions? Why in the world could this not be say, JTG?

Cody comes out and makes fun of Big Show post match. You know the drill here I’m sure.

Lord Tensai is coming.

The Bellas argue about Johnny vs. Teddy. Ryder comes up and gets on their nerves. They leave and Eve comes up. She sweet talks him again and asks what hotel Ryder will be at. She invites him for a visit after Wrestlemania.

Punk says ask Christian how he’s feeling. What Jericho said about his father is true, but the stuff about his sister and mom isn’t. He’s not a bastard. He’s the best wrestler in the world. Big pop for that.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Drew McIntyre is replacing Christian. Both GM’s distract their opponents. Khali chops him a lot but the World’s Strongest Slam ends this in 50 seconds.

Post match Ace throws Teddy in to Henry and waves out Team Johnny to block the entrance. Henry takes forever to do anything until Kofi breaks through, using part of Team Teddy for a springboard….and he jumps right into the World’s Strongest Slam to take him out. World’s Strongest Slam to Teddy is loaded up but Booker makes the save. So he’s the last member of Team Teddy? Seriously? With EVERYONE they could pick, Booker T is the last member? He accepts the spot and we get a Spinarooni.

Here’s Rock for the final sell for Wrestlemania. Rock talks about how ever since Wrestlemania XX, everyone has asked him when he’s coming back. He was told to drop his pants, turn his head and cough, then asked when he’s coming back. Then he told his dentist that he wasn’t dropping his pants. His dentist is freaky that way. Betty White offered him pie for the answer and he declined.

It was last year at Wrestlemania in Georgia (pop) when he decided. The next night he knew he had to do it and it was because of the people. There’s only one man that the millions want to see Rock face and that’s John Cena. Mostly heat on Cena after the name drop there. Rock talks about how Rock’s last Wrestlemania match was the same night as Cena’s first, and since then Cena has become a huge star. However, he’s never faced anyone like the Rock.

Cue Cena who says that Rock is half right: Rock is never going to face someone like Cena. Rock may be the best trash talker ever, because he brought Cena’s mom into things. He may be a great trash talker, but he’s not the first. There was a ten year gap in which everyone has talked trash about John Cena. The fans start the dueling chant (Rock isn’t mentioned) and Cena says the words of the chant. Everyone has turned their back on the WWE Universe, except Cena, who rises above and wins.

That right there is what gets to the fans that hate Cena: they give him their best and he keeps coming. As much as they hate him, they know he’s going to win at Wrestlemania. He knows they hate it, but they know it’s true. Cena has some stats for Rock. Cena has been in the WWE longer than Rock. Rock was here during the Attitude Era when things were awesome, but Cena was here when it wasn’t cool to be a WWE Superstar. He’s the one that beats the WWE drum and says he loves to be here. No matter how much you hear it, everyone knows he means it.

That’s why Cena has to win on Sunday. No matter what happens, Rock is staring in G.I. Joe this summer. It’s going to make him an even bigger star. But after Wrestlemania, the WWE is still Cena’s life. Rock is just standing there taking all this. Cena says he’s not going to let a visitor come in here and take his life from him. Cena has to win because no one remembers second place. This is all he’s got and he has to win it.

Now Rock says that it’s important to Cena. Cena was talking about the people. Rock isn’t a visitor to WWE. He built this house that Cena lives in now. Rock says the fans know that there’s never been an opponent Cena can’t overcome….until now. The fans know that Rock has come back to beat Cena. No one has ever been able to say that he’s walked into Wrestlemania and beaten Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena. Rock needs to beat Cena to become the best of all time. That’s on a professional level.

On a personal level, Rock just doesn’t like him. In six days, Rock is going to give Cena the beating of a lifetime and everyone knows it. Cena says that’s a fine speech, but it doesn’t matter what the Rock thinks. He’s going to put this in terms Rock can understand. On April 1, Rock will be able to see Cena, because he’ll be the one standing over Rock with his hand raised. And that’s it.

Overall Rating: C+. Here’s the thing: if you came into this show expecting ANYTHING but a big commercial for Wrestlemania, I have no idea what’s wrong with you but you missed the point. This was all about hyping the show and the wrestling was there as an afterthought. However, this was much more entertaining than most of the Raws like this over the last few years, because there was ONE match to point towards. Even HHH vs. Taker (where were they anyway?) pales in comparison to Rock vs. Cena. I could see how people would find this boring, and I’d say they have no idea what they’re talking about.

Results
Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Sheamus/Randy Orton – Bryan pinned Sheamus after a chokeslam from Kane
Santino Marella b. David Otunga – Cobra
Kelly Kelly b. Eve Torres – Rolling Cradle
Brodus Clay b. Curt Hawkins – What The Funk
Big Show b. Primo – Chokeslam
Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 1, 2004
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Based on what I can find, this is the 600th episode of Raw (again remembering that WWE has issues with numbers at times). I figured I’d do this, #700 and #800 straight through just to get them out of the way. This is part of the buildup to Survivor Series 2004 which was Team HHH vs. Team Orton, so some of the matches tonight are about that feud. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Evolution named themselves as the hosts of the show in Bischoff’s absence. The guys that would become Team Orton stood up to him which he didn’t like. This resulted in Orton vs. Flair which Orton had to win to be able to ever challenge HHH again. HHH interfered to give Flair the win, even though Orton, Maven and Jericho all interfered. A big HHH beatdown ensued.

Theme song.

Gene Snitsky vs. Eugene

Snitsky is the evil monster of the month, having Pillmanized Kane’s neck at Taboo Tuesday. This is a hardcore match and we see Regal in the back and Regal says that he’ll be there with Eugene tonight in this evil match. Eugene says no he has to stand on his own two feet.
Snitsky brought his weapons out in a baby carriage which is pretty awesome. Eugene grabs a kendo stick to control early but Snitsky comes back with a few chain shots.

Here’s the majority of the match: Snitsky beats on Eugene, Eugene gets in a single shot to get a breather, Snitsky beats him down even more. Eugene is about to have his throat Pillmanized so he makes his brief comeback, only to walk into a pumphandle powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here, but that was the point with Snitsky. The problem with that was once the Kane feud was over, there wasn’t much left for him to do and he went the way of most monsters. That’s fine though as at least he got his run in the company and that’s all people like him can ask for.

Snitsky sets to Pillmanize Eugene’s neck but Regal with the brass knuckles makes the save.

HhH criticizes everyone that attacked him, as well as the people that threw him into the ring for the beating, because he’s the guy that brings the people into the arena. He’s putting the food on their families’ table. You just know he believes everything he’s saying too. HHH won’t be here in the arena tonight so let’s see how the show does tonight. He’s great and without him, Raw is nothing.

Tajiri of all people is asked what he thinks of HHH so he quotes Network and hits on the very hot Maria. Flair and Batista pop up to massacre him.

Flair and Batista keep walking and head out to the ring. Think they might want to talk about The Game a little? Flair says what happened last week was unacceptable and what happened to Tajiri just now will happen to everyone unless something changes. Bischoff, either fix it or face the consequences. Bischoff comes out and announces the Raw matches for Survivor Series, including Christian vs. Shelton for the IC Title, Lita vs. Trish for the Women’s Title, and Team Orton (Orton, Maven, Benoit, Jericho) vs. Team HHH (HHH, Batista, Edge and Snitsky).

Flair is annoyed about not being on the team but Bischoff says he doesn’t really care. He’s mad at Evolution for not helping him when he got his head shaved at Taboo Tuesday. Eric has gotten nothing out of sucking up to Evolution for two and a half years, so after Survivor Series, Eric is taking a month long vacation. Batista says that’s stupid and threatens Eric, so Eric says get over it, because without the world title HHH is nothing. The winning team gets to control Raw for that month. This was almost a face turn for Bischoff but nothing would come of that.

Hurricane vs. Christian

This is a result of some sneak attack by Christian recently. About five seconds into the match, here’s Edge (I believe debuting Metalingus (the Alter Bridge song)) to promote his book as the match is going on. Hurricane has a headlock on Christian as Edge talks about how he doesn’t like Peoria. It wasn’t nice of those people to not vote him in at Taboo Tuesday but he’ll write an epilogue for that later. JR seems annoyed so Edge offers him a signed copy. The match is nothing and the camera is mostly on Edge during this.

Edge leaves and Hurricane comes back with a clothesline. Neckbreaker gets two as does a top rope cross body. Hurricane is sent into the post and the Unprettier ends this. I’m not going to review this due to the length and the majority of it being about Edge talking about the book and the match being background noise.

Shelton chases Christian off so Christian says he has a new problem solver because Tomko is hurt. Cue Viscera for a double beatdown and a World’s Strongest Slam.

Here’s Edge who says he’s here to defend the titles with Benoit, despite walking out on him at Taboo Tuesday. Benoit pops up and Edge takes one of the belts from him. Edge warns Benoit he might be defending on his own tonight and Benoit is ok with that.

Maven goes into Evolution’s locker room, probably due to those eyebrows weighing down his brain. For the life of me I don’t get why they picked Maven for this spot. He tells Dave and Ric that something is going to happen to Evolution. Flair gets defensive but Orton and Jericho pop up behind them and Evolution backs down.

Here’s Simon Dean in the ring for a promo about his Simon System. Be glad this isn’t in Philly because even though Dean is an ECW guy, he’d get murdered by the crowd. He insults some fans, calls them fat, calls in a “fan”, makes fun of him, fan goes nuts and Simon beats him up. That took about seven minutes.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Conway and Grenier this time. Edge isn’t here to start so the French Canadians pound on the Canadian whose Canadian partner isn’t here yet, prompting a USA chant. Or are they cheering for Conway? Either way he starts with Benoit who has to fight off both of them. Neckbreaker by Conway puts Benoit down and the challengers take over. Benoit goes off on both of them with release Germans and here’s Edge.

Edge is walking around the ring for awhile. And never mind as he’s on the apron now. Grenier pounds on Benoit but Chris breaks through, only to have Edge walk out on him. Back with no Edge in the ring because he’s on commentary now. This is when the commentary desk was near the entrance. Edge and Jerry are talking about the book at Benoit gets worked over even more.

Benoit hits a clothesline but there’s no Edge to make the tag to. Back to Grenier who stomps away. Benoit comes back and suplexes both of them with ease. He snaps off the Rolling Germans as Jerry talks about a picture of Edge’s puppy. Edge goes down to ringside because he thinks Benoit needs a hand. There’s the Swan Dive and Crossface to Grenier but Edge distracts the referee and Au Revoir (suplex/side slam combo) gives us new champions.

Rating: D+. This was a handicap match and on that front, it was pretty boring. That being said, this was all about the angle instead of a match, which is fine. This was around the time that the tag titles were rapidly dying in importance, and a lot of that is for stuff like this. Edge basically said “here you take this, it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Edge lays out Benoit with a belt and busts him open. A spear puts him Chris down as well. Edge puts Benoit in the Crossface to complete the psycho heel turn. Benoit taps.

Flair rants to Bischoff because that’s all he knows how to do. Bischoff isn’t going to punish Team Orton so tonight it’s Maven/Orton/Jericho vs. Flair/Batista/HHH if HHH shows up. Otherwise it’s a handicap match.

Here are the debuting Muhammad Hassan and Daivari. Hassan says he’s an Arab-American and a Muslim but since 9/11, he’s been branded a terrorist. This had potential…I think, but when you bring in the idea of terrorism you’re asking for trouble.

We run down the rest of the Survivor Series card, including JBL vs. Booker and Taker vs. Heidenreich. Oh…..fun.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Shelton has bad ribs here. Viscera hits him in the ribs and takes the tape off. This goes very slowly because that’s as fast as Viscera can go. Shelton rams him into the middle buckle and splashes him, but the T-Bone isn’t going to work. Choke bomb is countered and Shelton wins with the Dragon Whip.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of this? Was it supposed to make us want to see Shelton vs. Christian? There’s no history between Viscera and Christian but apparently just saying they work together now means something. The match sucked on top of that and Viscera was gone soon thereafter.

Smackdown ReBound is about Tough Enough, which only resulted in Miz coming in second. He was somehow even goofier looking back then. They had to call out Big Show and then he slammed all of them. Oh and Ryan Reeves was in this too. You know him better as Skip Sheffield.

Here’s Trish who is much hotter when she’s evil. She’s been getting wishes from her family for safety because her career and life might be in danger. We get a video on Lita called the Kiss of Death. Essa Rios disappeared, as did the Hardys and the show Dark Angel. She comes back to be with Matt and Matt gets injured. She marries Kane and starts to like him so Snitsky hurts him. Then after all that, Lita lost her baby. She’s fat too. Cue Lita who is MAD. Lita takes her down and beats the tar out of her but Gail Kim runs in for a 2-1 beatdown. Trish hit a level as top heel Diva around this point that hasn’t been topped since.

Smack Down Your Vote!

Chris Jericho/Randy Orton/Maven vs. Evolution

No HHH so it’s 3-2. Orton and Batista start things off with Batista not quite being his awesome self yet. It was coming very soon though. Batista uses pure power to take Orton down and it’s off to Flair for a slugout, won by Orton. Powerslam puts Flair down and it’s off to Y2J. Jericho takes him down with the usual stuff and sets for the Walls but Batista comes in for the save. Team Orton all stares him down and Big Dave backs off.

Orton suplexes Flair back and Maven adds a missile dropkick. We go back in to Jericho for the sake of talent and it’s a big beatdown. Maven chokes Flair ala Flair as the referee has his back turned in a nice touch. The referee looks at Batista so Jericho hits Flair low. Flair avoids the Walls by kicking him into the corner where Batista can get in a shot. Off to Big Dave who hits a spinebuster for two.

Off to Flair who hammers on Jericho with his usual punches and chops. Jericho comes back with the running enziguri to give us a Flair Flop. Double tag brings in Orton and Batista with Orton cleaning house. Powerslam gets two on Batista. Flair and Batista try to walk and…IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME. And never mind because it’s Tajiri doing a HHH impression. The match breaks down and everyone hits their finishers on Batista, ending with the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was pretty dull and I really don’t get what Tajiri added to it. HHH being imitated is always good and Tajiri is usually funny but it didn’t click here. Anyway, decent match with the Flair stuff being great as he got his own tricks used on him, but the rest was pretty dull.

Team Orton and Tajiri celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very odd show. The show itself worked well but if you’re not into the stories, which a lot of people weren’t in 2004, this didn’t do much for you. The Trish vs. Lita stuff was great and Bischoff’s face turn was promising, but without it ever meaning anything, it’s just a promise that doesn’t mean much. Decent show but nothing memorable.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 19, 2012
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re almost to Wrestlemania but first of all we have to go through the scariest place on the planet in wrestling: Philly. Cena is likely to get crucified here although I’m not sure if Rock is scheduled for tonight or not. I do know that Michaels, HHH and Undertaker are all scheduled to be in the ring at the same time though. Not much else to say other than that so let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Rock is indeed here tonight.

We open with Punk coming to the ring with a full introduction. That’s not something you hear that often anymore but ok. Before he talks we get a clip from last week with the Jericho talk about Punk possibly becoming an alcoholic. Punk talks about how last week Jericho told the world that Punk’s father is an alcoholic. He says he feels like he’s not wearing any clothes in front of the world. Punk talks about how everyone has been affected by alcohol somehow.

He’s not going to allow Jericho to convince kids everywhere that because their life sucks they’re going to turn to the bottle. Punk may have alcoholism in his genes but the addiction in him is going to become Jericho’s problem. Punk says that Jericho left out the ending where Punk’s dad overcame his demons. He’s proud of his father and he’s proud of being straightedge. Alcoholism is an obstacle but he finds ways around obstacles. His next obstacle is Chris Jericho, and at Wrestlemania he’s going straight through him.

Punk is about to leave when Jericho pops up on the monitor. He’s not here tonight and is in a suit. Jericho sounds somber here and says this is Chris, not Jericho with no bravado and no fancy jacket. He crossed the line last week and he’s sorry. Jericho will never say anything else about Punk’s father on this show again. However, he’ll talk about Punk’s sister’s substance abuse problems quite a bit. Punk freaks out while Jericho talks about Punk’s sister being a drug addict. That means Punk is pre-disposed to being addicted. Punk drops a bunch of censored words and yells at Jericho. Good segment.

Kane vs. Big Show

Before the match we get a highlight reel of Show at Mania from Cody Rhodes. Cody has on boxing gloves at ringside. Show takes him down quickly and goes to the middle rope, but Cody gets on the apron. Show shoves him off and Kane chokeslams Show off the ropes for the pin at 49 seconds.

Post match Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster. He handcuffs Show to the ropes and pounds on him with the boxing gloves. Show yells at Cody to run, which Cody does despite Show being cuffed. They get him freed but Show is all messed up from getting beaten on.

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

We start with a posedown and Santino has abs painted on. He hurts his leg posing so Otunga hammers away. Santino comes back with his usual and loads up the Cobra. Ace slides in his phone for some reason so Santino stomps on it. He walks into Otunga’s spinebuster, putting the champion at 0-2 in his last two matches on Raw since winning the thing. The match ran about 1:45. I’m REALLY getting tired of these losses for champions.

Teddy slaps Ace post match and runs off so he can dance on the stage.

Lord Tensai (A-Train) is coming.

Rock is in front of the Rocky statue and says this is the city with a fighting spirit. We get a picture of him at 12 years old posing in front of the statue. Rock talks about training to become an icon and watching the first Wrestlemania and then Wrestlemania 6. He loved the Warrior. He had no idea what Warrior was talking about, but then again no one did. Then at Wrestlemania 15, right here in Philadelphia, Rock main evented his first Wrestlemania….and he got Stunned and lost.

Then Rock went on to beat Austin and Hogan at Wrestlemania, and that leaves just one person: John Cena. Tonight, Rock is coming to the arena and he’s going to send Cena a message. If Cena doesn’t get that message, Rock is going to get back in his car and drive to Pat’s (famous Philadelphia cheese steak place) and say that he wants it both with and without (it’s a Pat’s thing). That way he can turn it sideways, and I think you know the rest. Then all the greats will say bang bang, WOO and from up above, oh yeah. Rocky is going to eat lightning, crap thunder, and layeth the smacketh down. Rock continues to be better on location.

Daniel Bryan vs. Zach Ryder

We get a clip from earlier today with Ryder holding a rally to become part of Team Teddy. Ryder has black trunks now. AJ looks GREAT tonight. Ryder controls and hits the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered into the LeBell Lock for the tap at 1:45.

Flo Rida is going to play Rock to the ring.

John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws Cena around a few times to start including once to the floor. Back in and Cena is down again, this time off a failed shoulder. Henry knocks him into the corner using the power. Back to the floor and Henry won’t let him back in. He rams Cena into the barricade and yells at him as we go to a break. Back with Cena breaking free of a hold but getting run over quickly. Splash gets two. They talk about the car accident and imply Cena is off a step because of it. Cena avoids a charge in the corner and hits a belly to back to set up the Shuffle. AA and the Slam fail but the second AA gets the pin at 8:11.

Rating: D+. They were keeping it purely in first gear with Henry using nothing but power. It’s sad to see him being nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point but at least he’s jobbing to the top star. Not abad match but it was pretty clear that Henry wasn’t going to have any chance here.

Post match Rock immediately comes out and lays out Henry with a Rock Bottom. He points to the catchphrase on his shirt and walks out.

We get a clip of Shawn being announced as the guest referee. We saw the acceptance of the Cell stipulations earlier.

We get clips of the Divas deal on Extra. Eve is officially Beth’s sidekick. Maria pinned Beth on Raw once. A tag match at Mania comes out of this.

Miz is in the ring to talk about…..King Kong Bundy? He talks about Bundy being in the main event of Wrestlemania in 1986 (it was 1987) and then being in a match with two little people the next year. Now Miz is going to break the record for the longest fall. He’s issued an open challenge to prove his worth to Ace.

The Miz vs. Sheamus

Slugout to start and Miz gets in a kick to the chest. Not that it matters as Sheamus takes his head off with a double ax. Miz comes back but has his low DDT countered. Fireman’s carry roll gets two. Ace and Otunga are watching in the back. Miz hooks a neckbreaker and then a chinlock but Sheamus comes back and the Brogue Kick kills Miz dead at 2:59. Nothing to see here but Cole is now calling Sheamus the Dublin Destroyer.

We recap the Jericho/Punk’s sister thing from earlier.

Orton comes out for an interview on the stage. He says he’s not responsible for Kane changing so much lately. He’s not a monster, he’s not a big red machine, he’s not the devil’s favorite demon. He’s Randy Orton….and that’s that.

Clips of an anti-bullying campaign event, which seems to be a way to get Stephanie on TV again.

Vickie introduces Dolph and Swagger as members of Team Johnny.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Kofi and Jack start and Kofi gets double teamed into trouble. Aksana is out here for some reason. Off to Dolph who has a neckbreaker countered into a backslide for two. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. Back to Swagger who does pushups on Kofi’s back. Hot tag minus the heat brings in Truth to clean house. Swagger gets knocked to the floor and Kofi takes him down with a clothesline. Axe kick misses Dolph and the Fameasser hits (with Truth diving down before it hit him) for the pin at 4:35. Vickie shoved Truth’s foot off the rope.

Rating: D+. I really haven’t been liking this show tonight and this was another example of that. This didn’t work that well for me at all, although technically it was fine. I think it’s that I’m tired of this GM feud and there are WAY too many people involved in it, but how else are you going to get them all on the card?

Aksana and Vickie brawl after the match. Kofi’s eyes are hilarious when he pulls them apart.

We get a clip from last night at MSG where HHH used a tombstone and the Taker pin/tongue for the pin.

Time for the big in ring confrontation with HHH, Taker and Shawn. Gee, I wonder what they’re going to say. Shawn talks about how he has the end of an era in his hand, but everyone knows that’s code for end of the Streak. Taker comes out and says this match has to stay pure. HHH comes out before much else can be said and says stop worrying about Shawn and worry about HHH. It’s also not about Shawn, despite how much Shawn wants it to be.

HHH talks about the Cell and how these two have defined them. The Cell has gone from being the devil’s playground to HHH’s proving ground. I wouldn’t go that far but it’s HHH so reality is usually thrown out the window for his promos. The world will see the end of an era, and it’ll be Undertaker’s era.

HHH starts to say that he knows what it’ll take to beat Taker in the Cell, but Taker cuts him off and asks if he really knows. Taker asks if HHH is willing to put it all on the line at Mania. HHH says he is ready and he will. Does that mean Streak vs. career? It’s never stated clearly. Taker goes to leave but comes back and asks if HHH remembers when Taker said Shawn was better than HHH? Well he is. And that’s the end. Ok then.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t bad, but I really got bored with it a lot of times. The problem they have is one that you have before any big show: the card is set, the feuds are made, and there’s nothing else to talk about for them. Also, what did Bryan and Sheamus do to tick off this company, because they can’t combine to get five minutes of TV time but we can get an angle for the Divas tag match? I’ll never get this company half the time. Anyway, not a great show but it could have been worse.

Results
Kane b. Big Show – Chokeslam off the middle rope
David Otunga b. Santino Marella – Spinebuster
Daniel Bryan b. Zach Ryder – LeBell Lock
John Cena b. Mark Henry – Attitude Adjustment
Sheamus b. The Miz – Brogue Kick
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Fameasser to R-Truth

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,653
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is from the Raw after Wrestlemania and was a request. HHH has lost the world title to Batista last night so this is the start of a new era in a sense. Looking at the rest of the card (which is pretty short in the first place), we’ve got Edge vs. Benoit which should be good. I’m not sure what else to expect tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a Wrestlemania recap set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down. They’re my favorite band so I’m not complaining here. It transitions to another song that I don’t recognize. It was the show where Cena and Batista won their first world titles, plus there was the first MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn’s classic. If it ran about 45 minutes shorter, it would be one of the best ever. With that extra time though, it’s just a good show.

Here’s HHH to open the show. You know, the guy that lost last night. The Game can’t get anything in because of the Batista chants. He admits that he lost the title but goes into a huge rant about how the Batista Era isn’t beginning because he was on for one night only. HHH is great every night. You think he gives that same speech to Stephanie when she complains about things? HHH says he owns the title and the rematch is at Backlash. He’ll get the title back and ram it down all of our throats.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was when Shelton was the hottest star in the company not named Cena or Batista and he’s defending the title here. I think all three of these guys were in MITB last night. Yeah they were. Thanks JR. JR then loses his credibility for this match saying Shelton won the title off Jericho a few weeks ago. He won it in November JR. Shelton and Jericho square off but Christian wants some of that. He gets punched in the face for his efforts and double teamed.

Jericho and Shelton seem to team up for a bit but that breaks down quickly. Chris controls on the champion and hits the bulldog, but he’s too banged up for the Lionsault. Christian comes back in and sends Jericho to the floor so he can work on Shelton. Off to a chinlock as the fans chant CLB. Shelton loads up a superplex on Christian but Jericho comes in to powerbomb him, making it a Tower of Doom.

Everyone is down and Jericho gets two on Christian, then two on Shelton. Jericho fires off a forearm and enziguri on Christian but covers Shelton instead for some reason. Shelton sunset flips Jericho but Christian rolls him up for two. Jericho sunset flips BOTH of them at once for two. Stinger Splash from the champion hits Jericho and the Exploder puts him down, but Tomko pulls Shelton out. Jericho hooks the Walls on Christian but Shelton comes in with a springboard bulldog (looked GREAT) to Jericho for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this. The midcard was pretty awesome at this point with Shelton leading the way. Then he got lazy and stopped caring which really crippled his career. Anyway, at this point he rocked and couldn’t have a boring match if his life depended on it. When Christian and Jericho have trouble keeping up with you, that says a lot.

Edge is in the back with Bischoff and signs his contract for a world title shot. That’s the MITB contract I think. Bischoff asks if he wants to use it tonight but Edge says no, because he wants to pick his spot. Eric says you get Benoit tonight then.

Here’s Orton who lost to Taker last night. The fans chant for Undertaker and Orton says it wasn’t supposed to go that way. He talks about being chokeslammed and tombstoned last night. Orton claims a shoulder injury during the match last night and he would have reversed the Tombstone otherwise. But enough of that, because he wants to talk about Batista. He respects Undertaker but doesn’t respect Batista. Orton says he’s the future and wants Batista TONIGHT. Eric comes out and says that HHH gets the next shot because of his rematch clause. Orton says make the match tonight and Eric says ok.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Christy looks GREAT in blue. Christy is the Divas Search winner and Lita is training her. That doesn’t make her any good in the ring but she looks great. Trish is evil here and this is a rematch from last night. Before the bell ever rings, Trish KILLS Christy with a Chick Kick and knocks her out. Lita, still injured, gets in Trish’s face and they slug it out, but Trish kicks Lita in her injured knee and puts a hold on her. Trish walks out, but DANG that kick looked great.

We get a clip from last night with Muhammad Hassan jumping Eugene and beating him up until Hogan made the save. That’s still a great moment that I still watch from time to time. By clip, I mean the whole segment.

Here’s Shawn, limping after Angle destroyed his leg last night. He talks about how he gave it everything he had last night but things didn’t end like he planned. Shawn asks for a small favor: would anyone want to see a rematch? The fans want it so Shawn says he’ll do whatever he can do to make it happen.

Cue Hassan and Daivari to get on our nerves by speaking Farsi or whatever language that is. Hassan makes fun of Shawn for losing and says Shawn fears him because he’s Arab American. Shawn takes his jacket off and Hassan calls him a loser. This starts a brawl but Shawn’s knee gives out and he gets beaten down. Hassan puts him in a camel clutch to end this.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit has a bad left arm from last night. They brawl fairly slowly and Edge is knocked to the floor. Back in and a knee to the ribs puts Edge down. Benoit is having to fight tentatively because of the arm. Out to the floor again and Benoit fires off some chops. He slides back in and takes Edge down with a baseball slide. Coming back in, Edge drapes the arm over the top rope and Benoit is in trouble.

Edge works over the arm with a wristlock and a hammerlock. Benoit comes back with a trio of Germans, the third one being release style. He stupidly goes up but the Swan Dive misses and the arm hits the mat again. Benoit gets sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Edge working on the arm even more. During the break Benoit tried the Crossface but the arm gave out.

Edge cranks on the arm even more but goes up and is crotched. Benoit chops him on the corner and they trade headbutts. Benoit GOES OFF and hits a huge superplex to put both guys down. Here’s the Sharpshooter which Benoit wisely pulls on with the right arm. After about two minutes, Edge finally gets to the ropes. The bandage is off Benoit’s arm. He manages the Crossface but the arm gives out so Edge can escape. He DDTs the arm and loads up the spear, but Benoit sidesteps him to send Edge into the corner, letting Chris roll him up for the pin.

Rating: B. Two matches up, both very good so far. These two were always going to give you good matches and the arm injury was a really nice story to put into the match. Benoit would never reach the level he hit the previous year but he was always good for something like this. Edge would do little for the rest of the year before cashing in the case in January.

Edge rams Benoit’s arm into the steps post match. He also beats on it with a chair.

It’s time for an infomercial by Simon Dean for the Simon System with Maven as his protege. This isn’t going to end well. Simon says (get it?) that anyone, even the people in LA, can look like Maven using his system. He says that the people here are getting fat drinking beer. I think I can hear the glass shattering from here. Yep there it is. Austin makes fun of the system and says WHAT a lot. If you won’t know where this is going, I’ve failed you.

They agree to try each others’ drinks and Simon asks for a glass. Austin has none of that so Simon holds his nose. Simon does push-ups to work off the calories of the beer. They’re wasting Austin on this? Austin says do a bunch of push-ups which Simon does. Now it’s time for Austin to try the protein shake. Austin says the shake smells awful and won’t drink it. Maven says that’s because it’s a man’s drink and throws it on Austin. Stunners and beer abound for awhile.

Orton is coming to the ring and runs into Kane who makes fnu of him for losing.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. We get our first look at the guy that won the main event of Wrestlemania with less than eight minutes of air time left. The bell rings with less than six and a half minutes to go in the show. Orton shoves him into the corner but Big Dave powers out of it. Orton takes over and hooks a chinlock but Batista snapmares out of it.

They’re very clearly going through the motions here. Batista pounds on him and shoves him into the corner for the shoulders. He misses one though and Batista’s shoulder hits the post. Not that it really matters as he rams Orton’s face into the post. Back in the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb get the easy pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as these two never really had the big match that I think they were always expected to have. They should have had a great feud and rivalry on paper but it never really played out that way in reality. Not the worst match ever but for Batista’s first match as champion it didn’t work that well.

HHH comes out to applaud Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was mostly good here and the show was entertaining enough, but the main event did very little for Batista. This felt more like Austin was the main attraction or something like that. Not a bad show but there needed to be WAY more focus on Batista.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2002
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to the world title being on the line with Hogan defending against Flair. Why anyone in their right mind would want to see that match in 2002 is beyond me but people have strange tastes at times. Anyway other than that there’s not much here. I think this is the go home show for Judgment Day 2002. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of last week with Flair turning heel and beating Austin down with a chair. It’s Flair/Big Show vs. Austin at Judgment Day.

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardy Boys

This was Brock’s first feud. He’s already destroyed both of them one on one so this is the next logical step. Jeff jumps Brock to start. They have to tag here and Brock runs over Jeff very quickly. Jeff comes back with a running forearm as the fans chant for Goldberg. Off to Matt who comes off the top with a punch to the head. Now the fans chant for the Mapleleafs. Brock kills him with a belly to belly and the dominance continues. Off to Jeff who screws up his jawbreaker move twice before finally hitting it. The Hardys hit a double flapjack and a double shot from the top rope….and Heyman pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: D. So it was a squash until the Hardys realized that they’re one of the best teams ever and then there’s a lame DQ loss for Lesnar. What was the point of this again? Well it sets up another match at the PPV with Heyman as Lesnar’s partner. What is that supposed to solve anyway? Whatever here, as Lesnar would move up the ladder quickly.

Brock kills Jeff post match but Matt saves him and they hit the Twist/Swanton combo. Heyman makes the challenge for the aforementioned tag match.

Pac and Big Show are in the back when Flair comes in. Flair says this is the start of the new era. Hall is fired but Nash is just hurt. There’s a new NWO member tonight and the guy doesn’t even know that he’s joining tonight. Free will isn’t a popular idea in WWE is it?

Here are Flair and Show in the ring for their explanation for last week. They’re both NWO here. JR rips Flair the whole time because Flair hurt JR’s BFF last week. Flair says that his name is Ric Flair and if you know anything about this business, you have to respect it. He’s a 16 world champion you know. That makes him about 15 times better than the Leafs. He says he has a real enforcer rather than the one the Leafs have.

Flair says he owns Raw which makes him very powerful. As for Austin, Flair drafted him and then he got Stunned for his efforts. Flair tried to be his friend and even gave him carte blanche but Flair got screwed with anyway. Austin is trash, just like the fans. Now Flair can sympathize with Vince for having to deal with Austin all those years. Austin has a giant to worry about now. Tonight, Flair is giving himself a world title match, because what do these young kids know right?

After a break we’re told that the match will be No DQ.

Hogan arrives on his motorcycle.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Eddie Guerrero

Stasiak is a little nuts here. Eddie is IC Champion but this is non-title. These two ran into each other earlier today while Stasiak was going on one of his crazy man rants. He’s from Planet Stasiak and Eddie thinks they grow weed on Planet Stasiak. That offended Shawn so here’s the match as a result. RVD, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, comes out to watch. Eddie jumps Stasiak to start but Shawn takes him down. Gutwrench slam gets two. A suplex is countered and Eddie goes after the knee. Suplex, Frog Splash, pin. This was about a minute.

RVD jumps Eddie post match. Eddie grabs the mic and says that he’s going to prove he’s better. Pretty awful promo.

Coach goes looking for Austin but finds Debra instead. She says Austin wants to talk but says she’ll go get him for Coach. That’s later apparently.

Apparently later is now because Austin says Flair didn’t say anything important. This is in the height of the WHAT period so Austin speaks in very short statements. He’s not worried about Judgment Day and Flair doesn’t deserve a title match. He’ll be watching though.

Now, A Day In The Life Of Tommy Dreamer. This is during the Dreamer is a Freak stage, so we see things such as him shaving his tongue, drinking toilet water and sharing a toothbrush with his dog. Moving on.

Regal is here for commentary for the next match.

Terri vs. Molly Holly

Regal and Molly are dating or something. This is because of a swimsuit contest last week where Molly hit Terri with a flipper. Terri attacks her and hits the apex of her offense with a slam. Molly is a virgin which is all Lawler can talk about. This is horrible and Molly goes up and gets crotched. Terri hits a rana off the top (nothing special) but Molly rolls her up for the pin. If you think the Divas today are bad, Terri makes Kelly Kelly look like Ricky Steamboat.

Oh apparently Regal dating Molly starts here. Ok then.

WWE Undisputed Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

This is the world title match in 2002. Think about that for a minute. It’s No DQ as well. Hogan comes out on the motorcycle to further prove his mid life crisis. Hogan is a god in Toronto though so he gets a huge pop. To be fair, this is when Flair was 53 and he’s still in pretty decent shape, as is Hogan. It’s FAR better than when they’re in TNA and look about 80 each. Flair charges into him with doesn’t work at all.

Flair gets knocked down multiple times so he goes to get a chair which doesn’t work. He chops Hogan in the corner which goes even worse. Hogan pounds on him in the corner and we get the Flair Flop. He can’t do the Flair Flip though so he pokes Hogan in the eyes and goes up. Guess what happens next. Flair goes low and fires away in the corner. Out to the floor and Hogan takes over again with power, sending Flair into the steps face first.

Back inside and a thumb to the eye gives Flair control again. Hogan blocks the knee drop and hooks a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would say looks horrible. After Flair get the ropes, Hogan suplexes him for two. The chops still don’t work so Hogan Hulks Up (was he ever really in trouble?) and hits the boot and leg, drawing out the NWO. Bradshaw (why?) comes out to take out the NWO and Austin comes out to Stun Flair, setting up the legdrop for Hogan to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s Hogan vs. Flair which is the majority of the good stuff here. At the end of the day, Ric Flair is wrestling Hulk hogan for the world title in 2002 on Monday Night Raw, six days before Hogan defends against Undertaker on PPV. Does that seem like a problem to anyone else besides me? This was the year of nostalgia for WWE which resulted in HHH being world champion again by the fall, which is what it should have been over most of the summer. That would make too much sense though so we got this instead.

Flair goes on a rant in the back, the end results being Pac/Show vs. Bradshaw and Austin vs. the new NWO member in a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title/Hardcore Title: Trish Stratus/Bubba Ray Dudle vs. Jazz/Steven Richards

Trish and Bubba are the challengers. Only one title can change hands here I think. This is Toronto remember so Trish gets a huge reaction. This was set up because a blind Bubba powerbombed Trish through a table so that Steven could pin her to win the Hardcore Title. The genders have to match here. Bubba throws Trish onto the champions to start and the girls go first. Richards accidentally splashes Jazz and we get the face in the balls spot. Trish and Bubba bring in weapons but Trish can’t throw anything over the top.

Everything breaks down quickly and Steven takes a hockey stick to the crotch. Justin Credible comes out with a referee, as does Crash. Neither wins the title and various comedy spots follow. Bubba kills Justin with a guitar and Richards knocks Trish to the floor. Off to Jazz and Trish has to come in despite being out on the floor. The men have disappeared and Trish fumbles through some stuff before Stratusfaction gives her the title.

Rating: D. This show is so gimmicked it’s unreal. Now this should give you a good idea of how screwed up WWE was at this point. Trish wins the title here in Toronto from Jazz right? Less than two months earlier, they had a Women’s Title match in Toronto AT WRESTLE FREAKING MANIA, but they do the switch here instead? See how off they were in 2002?

Post match Trish says get the tables. Bubba powerbombs her through it, and by that I mean he jumps through it Jazz misses the table completely.

Undertaker has nothing to say. Literally. Hogan destroyed his motorcycle last week.

We run down the Judgment Day card. The card is stacked (Cell, hair vs. hair) but it wound up sucking.

Goldust and Booker are going to be lumberjacks tonight so Goldie sings the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python. Booker for some reason is in full lumberjack gear, complete with beard. Goldust thought Booker would look ravishing in it. These two were hilarious together.

X-Pac/Big Show vs. Bradshaw

Pac has stolen Kane’s mask in a story I don’t really remember. Pac starts and gets thrown around so Bradshaw demands Big Show get in. Show knocks him down and it’s back to Pac. Powerslam gets two for the future JBL. The crowd is QUIET for this, because it’s 2002 and Bradshaw is getting a singles push for some reason. Show pulls him to the floor and throws him into the steps and it’s back to X-Pac. This is going so slowly. Bradshaw kicks Show to the floor and hits the fallaway slam on Pac. Show grabs a chair and cracks Bradshaw in the back with it and two chokeslams for the pin.

Rating: D. This NWO stuff never went anywhere at all and a lot of that is because they had no one to fight. Austin was the top guy in the company in name only in 2002, Rock was gone, Hogan didn’t do anything but nostalgia, and guys like Bradshaw weren’t going to cut it as a top guy at this point at all. The crowd reaction in Toronto, one of the loudest cities ever, being this weak should tell you a lot.

Hogan goes to leave but Coach stops him to talk about undertaker. Hogan is in a leather jacket (clearly with extra padding) and a helmet that looks like it belongs in a war propaganda movie from World War I. He’ll be a lumberjack later, despite Flair saying he was handpicking the lumberjacks. Taker attaches Hogan to the motorcycle and drags him along. It looks ridiculous and they’re going at about the speed of a brisk jog.

Post break it’s still going on and Hogan crashes into cardboard boxes. Oh man that’s hardcore. Why keeps a wall of cardboard boxes like that anyway?

Post another break we see it AGAIN. Hogan is treated for a neck injury in the back.

Steve Austin vs. ???

Flair hasn’t told the new NWO member who he is remember. This is a lumberjack match remember. Austin beats up the lumberjacks to start but the NWO jumps him. Flair says the new member is Booker T, which is kind of a heel turn I guess. Booker takes over on Austin to start and hits the side kick to take him down. Austin comes back with a spinebuster for two as Bossman pulls him to the floor.

Austin fights the lumberjacks but Lesnar takes him down and rams him into the ring a few times. Back in Austin comes back like the stuff on the floor was nothing. Thesz Press gets no reaction so Show pulls Austin to the floor. Booker hits the axe kick and we get a Spinarooni, which allows Austin to come back again. Booker throws him to the floor AGAIN for the NWO to beat on him. We get a REALLY sloppy sequence that results in Austin ramming Booker into Flair and rolling him up the pin.

Rating: F. That’s probably extreme but let’s look at this here. First of all, there’s no reason for this match to happen. Booker T was literally picked with no motivation to fight Austin. On top of that, the majority of this match was Austin vs. the NWO/lumberjacks. Third, the match SUCKED.

As Austin leaves, Arn Anderson of all people jumps him and the NWO (minus Booker) beats him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time. First and foremost, all of the matches sucked. Second, out of seven matches, TWO (Eddie vs. Stasiak and the Divas) weren’t gimmicked. Those were also the two shortest matches of the night. On top of that, the whole thing is about the NWO and the old guys. Keep in mind this: Booker was the second biggest face on Raw but now he’s NWO.

Other than him and Austin, the biggest face is probably Eddie (remember that the World Champion could be on both shows so Hogan wasn’t exclusively Raw) who would turn heel by the end of the month. That left, I kid you not, Bubba Ray Dudley, Bradshaw or Goldust as the second biggest face on Raw. Austin legitimately bailed on the company, prompting them to bring back Rock and send HHH to Raw to give it some face blood. He was turned heel by August. See why this was a bad time for Raw? Horrible show.

Here’s Judgment Day if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 1997
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Based on the commentators and perhaps the date you might know why we’re reviewing this one. This is of course the ECW Invasion of Raw for one night only while the main guys are in Europe or somewhere like that. This is more or less a hype show for Barely Legal, the first ECW PPV. Seeing the ECW guys on Raw this early is just weird, even though the Dudleys would be there in less than three years. WCW is KILLING Raw at this point so they were doing whatever they could to get a quick ratings boost. This didn’t do that, but it’s certainly historical so we’ll take a look. Let’s get to it.

The old school WWF logo, as in the one with the storm and all red used to scare me when I was a kid and terrified of thunderstorms.

The old Raw intro still rocks.

Godwins vs. Blackjacks

The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. It’s so weird hearing the guys talking about ECW when we have the same look for the show as there was back when the show debuted. BIG brawl to start as Bradshaw might be the smallest guy in there. Vince promises a big surprise for later. Oh hey we get Sunny vs. Marlena in ARM WRESTLING. Oh joy indeed. Wait it’s 97 Sunny. OH YES.

We get to an actual match now with Phineas and Bradshaw in there. Clothesline from JBL but it isn’t a finisher or named yet. Henry runs over Barry and we head to the floor where the heels take over. This is weak so far. The fans want the Dudleys and some guy named Ken Shamrock is sitting in the front row. Now the fans want Sandman. Would it be too much to ask for SOMETHING to happen here?

Phineas finally gets the hot tag and no one cares in the slightest. I was writing and didn’t realize he got a tag due to the lack of any kind of reaction. Clothesline takes him down but he gets a foot on the rope. This goes unnoticed and the Blackjacks win it. The referee gets slopped for his troubles.

Rating: F+. Oh this was boring. It went on forever and was a total borefest with the styles completely clashing. Four power guys can rarely make a match work and this was no exception. The tag division left something to be desired around this time as we were about 6 months from the Outlaws forming to save things a bit. Weak match and a bad omen for the rest of the night.

Ad for some boxing match. Sugar Ray Leonard is back. Ok then.

As we’re about to go to a break there’s a ring attendant looking at a turnbuckle. The ECW Tag Team Champions hit the ring and hit Total Elimination on him as Heyman shouts about the challenge being accepted. The look on Lawler’s face is great.

Little Guido vs. Stevie Richards

Richards would be in the #1 contenders’ match at Barely Legal for absolutely no apparent reason. The BWO is here with Richards which as Joey perfectly described: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boat load of cash, THIS IS IT.” I remember this actually but just vaguely. Stevie says they’re taking over as Paulie joins on commentary.

Heyman couldn’t be happier to be here to put it mildy. The match means nothing at all of course with Guido being the epitome of a jobber at this point in a big comedy stable. Jerry can’t say who the BWO is ripping off in a funny bit. Moving from funny to borderline surreal, Raven comes out and stands in front of the RAW set, which is just big letters saying Raw. Raven stares Richards down and the future psychiatrist freezes.

Goldust says he isn’t impressed and says nothing when Vince asks him about his match with Savio. Heyman kind of compliments Goldust as the fans LOUDLY chant BWO. Lawler more or less is shooting on ECW here as he hates the thing. Stevie Kick ends it clean. Lawler points out the obvious that Shawn has done the same move about 1000 times.

Rating: D. Like I said the match meant nothing so don’t pay much attention to that anyway. This was about having a different kind of thing being shown on Raw which definitely worked. No one but Paulie ever really got the idea of how Richards wound up in the three way at the PPV. Guido would get a lot better but here he was more or less a joke. Nothing special at all here, but the point was having ECW on Raw, which is mind blowing when you consider this is back in 1997.

Honky Tonk Man comes out to referee the arm wrestling match. Sunny comes out first and does the Rick Rude intro by calling everyone fat and saying to hit the music. Naturally she looks amazing but the costume is more or less tame compared to today’s stuff which is weird to say. Marlena has bad ribs due to HHH’s associate injuring her. The associate would soon become known as Chyna.

Sunny offers to let her forfeit due to the injuries which of course is turned down. Loud TAKE IT OFF chant. Any wrestling fan knows the formula here so I’ll spare you the details. Sunny stalls a lot, she takes over early, Marlena makes the comeback, Sunny throws powder (seriously do I even need to make jokes here?) in her eyes and it’s over.

Savio Vega comes out to get on Marlena so here’s Goldust to come out for the save. They’re scheduled for a match so this is it I guess.

Goldust vs. Savio Vega

One of the guys that becomes part of Los Boricuas is on commentary now. Miguel talks about Savio not being Puerto Rican anymore or something. No one cared at all about the group but Vince pushed them for over a year. Crush helps beat up Goldust with a powerslam on the floor.

Boring match so far as you can clearly see why WCW was destroying them around this time. Lots of punches both ways and then we have announcements for upcoming shows that take up a third of the screen. And now we hit a chinlock to make my head hurt a bit more. Oh wait scratch that. It’s a nerve hold rather than a chinlock.

Every time you look up there are more members of the Nation out there. Sunny is there cheering for them as well I guess because Goldust is associated with Marlena. Savio’s splash hits knees. This match needs to end badly. We get our third shot of Shamrock tonight as Lawler says he’ll go talk to him. Savio slaps Goldie’s a bit so Goldust elbows him and kisses him.

Crush trips Goldust, allowing Vega to take over, and here’s Crush to help with the beatdown to end it. Twelve minutes to get THAT ending? Perez, the guy from the announcers’ table runs in to help with the save.

Rating: F. Oh man this was boring. It got TWELVE MINUTES and we get a weak DQ ending? This was just so boring on all levels and nothing at all happened. I never got the appeal of Savio and he was just not interesting as a heel in the slightest. Granted you could argue that he wasn’t interesting ever but you get the point. Just a boring match that took up over 5% of the whole show. Mind boggling.

Raw is in Berlin next week, which featured the Bulldog vs. Owen match in perhaps the best match in Raw history for the first ever European Title.

We flashback to Jerry Lawler making fun of Tiny Tim, a weird singer that was in wrestling more than once but no one knew why. Weird thing to air here.

Jerry talks to Shamrock, allegedly his friend. Shamrock says he’s never met Lawler in ANOTHER pointless segment. Granted Shamrock would become a fairly big star in a few months’ time.

The Slammys are coming. I love those things.

Heyman gets in the line from the Rise and Fall DVD: Man, has this show sucked without ECW or what huh? He’s right.

Taz vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Whipwreck is a cool name. Nice amateur stuff from Taz. We don’t see the extreme aspects here which is what’s hurting the show. Lawler asks him about that and Heyman says why do that when we can do that on PPV? Taz DESTROYS him as we hear from Farooq. Notice the ECW matches have had interviews that have nothing to do with the show spliced in but we hear nothing during the WWF matches. Not saying it’s unfair as it’s a WWF show, just an observation. Sabu pops up on top of the Raw R and falls off which sums up his career pretty well. Tazmission completes the squash.

Rating: N/A. This was to make Taz look good and that certainly worked. Whipwreck would also get a lot better which was fun watching. This wasn’t much at all though but it did its job well enough I guess. Still though, would it kill you guys to tell us why Taz vs. Sabu is a big feud? They didn’t say it on Barely Legal either so it doesn’t really matter.

Headbangers vs. Legion of Doom

Yep this is the surprise. If this breaks a minute I’ll be stunned. The people are, to put it mildly, stoked to see the LOD. Even the ECW fans are happy here. We start calling the LOD American Originals which never went anywhere but they kept calling them that for about a year. Animal and Mosh start us off and I think you can guess how that goes. Apparently the Lawler vs. Tiny Tim thing was because Raw is back where it all began tonight. That makes sense.

The fans chant Nitro Sucks which Vince won’t say. The match is already at two minutes which means it’s too long. BIG powerbomb from Animal to Mosh gets two. Hawk hits his decent dropkick and we go WAY too long here. There’s a reason the Road Warriors rarely went long without a great team in there such as the Horsemen with them: they kind of sucked other than power moves.

And now the Headbangers are on offense. Well of course they are. We go to a break and come back to the Headbangers in control. Yes, in this match we’ve gotten a commercial to go with an already long match. Shawn is injured apparently. And there’s a DOUBLE COUNT OUT? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Mosh takes a Doomsday Device just because he deserves one.

Rating: F+. The match was boring, it went about 15 minutes counting commercial, AND WHY WOULD YOU BRING BACK A FREAKING TEAM LIKE THE LOD TO HAVE THEM GO TO A DOUBLE COUNTOUT WITH THE FREAKING HEADBANGERS??? DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A PICTURE HERE? They deserved to lose at this point with stupidity like this.

We get the very cheesy Tell Me A Lie video about Shawn that always turns my stomach a bit. He was “probably retiring” due to his “knee injury” which popped up right before he was supposed to drop the title back to Bret at Mania. What are the odds???

Tommy Dreamer vs. D-Von Dudley

We get Beaulah if nothing else. Dreamer looks YOUNG here and for some reason didn’t wrestle at the PPV. They lock up immediately as everyone is FAR more impressed with Beaulah than the match which I can’t blame them for. Heyman rightfully kisses up to Vince for this. Dreamer breaks out some weapons to make things interesting for a change. Lawler hating on violence is funny considering one of his most famous things is the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl (look that up if you’ve never heard of it).

All Dreamer so far here. Naturally we plug the stuff later on in Raw but again ECW needs to be happy with what they got, which I’m sure they were. Lawler goes on a total shoot, talking about how he’s been in wrestling for 20 years and has never been ashamed to be a wrestler but is now because this stuff is in his ring. He also didn’t mind showing up on ECW shows at least twice and getting a big paycheck for it.

Dreamer with a Piledriver next to a chair as Lawler is reaching Austin levels of ranting here. Taker cuts a split screen promo and while he’s talking about Sid (it was the main event of Mania 13 so first of all it’s more important than the match, but second, THIS GETS A PROMO WHILE WE HAVE A MATCH?) Dreamer hits the DDT for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Just a quickie here as the highlight was Lawler’s insane rant against Heyman and ECW. Based on what I’ve heard most of that was legit as Lawler wasn’t a fan of ECW at all. There are few people more old school than Lawler so that doesn’t surprise me, but considering how many Memphis companies he’s been apart of he doesn’t have a ton of room to talk about anyone else’s failing. Granted he had a national TV spot every Monday night so maybe he can talk about them.

Bubba runs down for the 3D on Dreamer but Sandman comes through the crowd and general beatings occur. Paulie thanks Vince which sounds very legit but goes after Lawler, resulting in the ECW guys coming down for a big pullapart deal.

We recap the insane world title scene around this time. Bret won the Royal Rumble and the shot at Mania but Austin snuck back in and threw him out and was declared the official winner. Due to the controversy, they put Taker and Vader who were also feuding and were the other final two in the Rumble along with Austin and Hart in a match called Final Four at a show appropriately titled Final Four.

Sid and Shawn had been trading the title, resulting in Shawn winning it back and then losing his smile, forfeiting the belt. There was supposed to be one last Sid vs. Shawn match at Final Four with the winner fighting the winner of the Final Four match at Mania. Bret won the match and the title but lost it to Sid the next night due to interference from Austin. That was a week before this and Taker has been named #1 contender. There would be a rematch between Bret and Sid in a cage sometime in March but Sid retained so it means nothing. Austin and Hart had a match at Mania that you may have heard of. Taker vs. Sid sucked.

Todd Petingill (the 90s version of Michael Cole but less annoying and just a backstage guy) talks to Ken Shamrock in an actual interview. He has his wife and father with him and introduces them. Ken picks Taker for the world title at Mania and can’t pick a winner for the submission match. Todd was annoying but he knew how to connect with a crowd so he throws in a very quick crowd poll. Little things like that can make a guy because he talks specifically to the crowd which is the best thing a guy can do.

Farrooq vs. Undertaker

Hmm I wonder who wins here. Before we start though and before Taker gets here, Shamrock and Farrooq have a standoff. Shamrock can’t talk at this point AT ALL. After a break we come back for Taker’s entrance which lacks something in this small of an arena. Most of the Nation is out there so Taker is just like screw this and goes out to beat on random people.

Ah there we go and all of a sudden the mat is really loud. BIG Old School takes down Farrooq again. Farrooq was a guy that could have been a top level heel but Austin being such a huge star all of a sudden kind of stopped anything they had planned but in a good way I’d think. This is your standard let’s beat on Taker and think we’re hurting him before he pops up and is perfectly fine. We take a break with a Nation member (D’lo Brown) taking down Taker by clipping his knee.

Back with Taker’s knee in trouble. Farrooq is smart and just keeps hammering on the knee like he’s supposed to. Taker busts out a Fameasser of all things to break the momentum. Never seen him use that before. In a weird bit the fans are singing the Nation theme song. Long chinlock sequence follows as we’re kind of killing time here. Ok there’s no kind of to it. We head to the floor as we’re desperately running out of time. And then after about 15 minutes again the rest of the Nation runs out for the DQ. The LOD comes out to save as we RUSH off the air.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t much at all but Farrooq wasn’t boring here. This was better than I expected with both guys pounding on each other hard and some better than average (for him anyway) selling from Taker. The ending sucks but I get why they did it was obviously Taker couldn’t lose and Farrooq was kept strong looking here. Much better than what I expected here.

Overall Rating: D. Paulie was dead on when he said this show has sucked without ECW. I don’t remember a ton of Raw from this time frame but if this is any indication it’s no secret I would have been watching WCW. This was just DULL with matches no one cared about for the majority of the night. However since a lot of the stars were on a tour the lack of talent is more than understandable so I can give this a bit of a break.

This was a rather weak show though but the ECW addition is very interesting as it was totally not what WWF was about at the time and considering ECW hadn’t even debuted on PPV yet it’s unlikely most people had any clue who they were, making it at least an attraction. Bad show but very interesting form an historical standpoint.

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