Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 1998
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another day another Raw. With three weeks to go before Fully Loaded we have more conspiracy stuff to get to. Austin won the title back last week so there’s also likely to be fallout from that. Also we’ll of course have more DX vs. the Nation stuff as that feud is going to take awhile to get through. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of last week’s events.

Here’s Undertaker to open the show. He says he wants a title shot and he wants it right now. We cut to the back where Cole is looking for Austin. JR says Austin is here somewhere. There he is and he doesn’t want to talk. Here’s Austin who gets in the ring. Taker gets ready but Vince cuts them off. He says that he picks the opponents and times when Austin defends the title. However since they both want it, he’ll make it happen, but at Fully Loaded. It won’t be a one on one match though. It’ll be them teaming up against Kane/Mankind. The #1 contender will be named tonight as well. Vince flips Austin off.

Brawl For All First Round: Brakkus vs. Savio Vega

Brakkus is a big German muscle man. Savio gets in some good shots in the first round but it’s tied up because of a takedown. Brakkus is totally gassed after round two. Savio wins via points or decision or however you win these things. Brakkus has a broken nose.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock easily sends him to the floor to start. Jarrett comes back in with a top rope cross body but Shamrock rolls through it for two. Edge is in the crowd. Out to the floor and Jarrett throws him into the steps. Jeff takes over and hooks a sleeper. Belly to back breaks whatever momentum Shamrock was getting going. Shamrock starts his comeback and hits a powerslam. A belly to back suplex gets two when King Mabel of all people runs in and splashes Shamrock.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was only here for the ending. Mabel would be here for one night only and would face Shamrock later in the night, which is why things were so short. I don’t think anyone wanted to see Mabel and I don’t think most people remembered him, but either way it’s just one night and the King of the Ring angle was something for Shamrock to do for awhile.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind for the titles next week. What exactly are you expecting here? They’re big, they’re strong, they hit each other a lot. Vader fires off headbutts in the corner and goes up but jumps into a powerslam. And here are Kane and Mankind to beat them both up for the double DQ. The big guys leave the lesser big guys laying.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Headbangers

Please be a squash. The Headbangers pour hot candle wax on themselves on the way to the ring. Ellering is with the DOA here and sends them right after the Headbangers. Mosh vs. let’s say 8-Ball to start. Ellering says the wind was blowing towards the DOA so he went with them. The LOD took their talent and became prisoners of their own memories. Thrasher gets two on a cross body. Off to Skull and Mosh and the Headbangers do their…whatever that is that they do. Stage Dive is broken up and the DOA hits something like a spike belly to back suplex to pin Thrasher.

Rating: D. This was basically a squash but at least it wasn’t against the LOD. Those matches were simply awful so of course they would go on for months. Not much here and the Headbangers weren’t going to be anything pretty much ever again. Not horrible, but there’s only so much this could be.

D-Lo Brown vs. Terry Funk

Brown has the chest protector. Terry takes him to the mat easily but D-Lo gets him into the corner and splashes him with the chest protector. Terry tries to chop him but can’t due to the protector. Instead he punches Brown in the face and piledrives him. A Downward Spiral takes Brown down and they go to the floor. Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but partially hits the railing. Back in and Terry thinks enough to put Brown on his stomach for the moonsault so that it hurts. Brown goes to the apron and Godfather hits Funk with some jewelery. The Low Down ends it.

Rating: D+. I love Terry Funk more and more every time I see him. He does crazy stuff but he has some of the most entertaining matches on Raw every week. Good stuff here and the beginning of one of Brown’s long running gimmicks. That nagging injury angle could work today if someone would think to use it.

Undertaker comes out and chokeslams everyone, including Terry, basically becoming a tweener.

Here’s Vince to announce the #1 contender. We’ll get to the announcement in a bit but first let’s bring some people out. First up, Mankind. Now Kane. Finally it’s Undertaker. Vince talks about everyone and why they could be #1 contender. Mankind took a horrible beating at King of the Ring, Kane was a great champion but was also a very stupid person, and Taker Vince isn’t sure on.

Is it because he’s done evil things to the other candidates? Is it because he thinks he’s as good as Austin? Or is it something else? Either way, we’ll find out who the #1 contender is tonight in a triple threat match.

Brawl For All First Round: Hawk vs. Darren Drozdov

Hawk looks very stupid in wrestling gear and boxing gloves. They lumber around for the first round and this needs to end already. I mean the whole competition mind you. Hawk gets knocked backwards in the second. Nothing happens in the third round and it’s a draw. Droz would advance because Hawk was hurt.

Here are Mero and Jackie. The fans chant for Sable and Jackie says she’s here to talk. She blames herself for Mero losing the fight because she wore him out. Apparently Sable couldn’t satisfy him. Here’s Sable who says Marc couldn’t do anything. Sable implies Jackie is a rather loose woman, so Jackie wants a bikini contest. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Dustin Runnels

Val’s pre match thing is about Joe Paterno. Dustin prays a bit. Val takes over quickly and hits a running knee in the corner. He goes up for punches but gyrates in Dustin’s face, resulting in an atomic drop. Val takes over again and hooks a full nelson with his legs on Dustin. Dustin comes back with a Russian legsweep but here’s Kai En Tai for the DQ.

Yamaguchi gets on the mike and threatens Val. His wife can’t stop looking at Venis.

And now for the famous part of the show: the DX parody of the Nation. We have HHH as the Crock, Road Dogg as B-Lo, X-Pac as Mizark, Billy as Godfather and a guy named Jason Sensation as Owen. Billy says random things and hands the mic to HHH. He has an eyebrow painted on his forehead and talks about what he was cooking in the bathroom. Roadie repeats everything and then shakes his head. Crock sets for a People’s Elbow on B-Lo but stops mid-leg turn to talk about how when he hits Rock Bottom with the ladies, he has to lay the Smackdown on himself.

B-Lo of course runs to the corner and shakes his head after repeating everything Crock said. Jason Sensation (in a PERFECT Owen voice) says that he looks like a road sign. He wanted to be tough, but he couldn’t grow his beard in. He’s a black Hart, a winner and a soul survivor WOO! And if anyone smells what the Rock is cooking, it’s him. Look how big his nose is. What is he, an aardvark. WOO!

Mizark wants to know what Rock is cooking, because hey hey hey, it smells like crap. B-Lo is finally told to shut up. Now shut your mouths and know your roles, because Nation, we got two words for you: WATCH THIS. This is still absolutely hilarious and had me cracking up. It’s on a WWE DVD somewhere I’m sure.

Mabel vs. Ken Shamrock

Mabel goes after the ribs and hits a backbreaker. Shamrock hammers on him but a corner splash misses. A middle rope elbow can’t drop the monster and neither can a leg lariat. World’s Strongest Slam puts Ken down but a middle rope clothesline misses and the ankle lock ends this quick. Not long enough to rate but this was no surprise at all.

Shamrock won’t let go of the hold and snaps again.

Here are Vince and Bearer to watch the triple threat. Austin joins them. It’s Austin and Vince on commentary.

Undertaker vs. Mankind vs. Kane

Winner is #1 contender. And there’s no Undertaker. The arena has Kane’s red lights in it. Vince gets off commentary and says it’s now one on one and no holds barred. We’ll throw in falls count anywhere in the building too. Mankind sits on the floor in front of the steps. He says he’s given enough and he’s not giving for Vince anymore. Mankind isn’t going to fight his friend Kane. Vince says ring the bell and we have like 2 minutes left. Kane stands in the ring as Vince yells to get going. Kane goes to the floor, cracks Mankind in the head with the chair and becomes #1 contender.

Kane rips off the mask to reveal the Undertaker, who is now #1 contender, end of show. This was done perfectly. Kane had been wearing the two sleeved outfit for a few weeks so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him in that. The red light keeps you from being able to see details of Taker, and therefore it probably fooled a lot of people. Very well done and I was shocked when I was ten.

Overall Rating: C. This show is very indicative of what the Attitude Era’s problem is: it doesn’t age well at all. The problem is that when you have a show that is totally built around drama and who knows what and who is really with who, it’s very entertaining to watch week to week. Watching it later, you realize that it’s not the best TV. The difference between this and Nitro is on Nitro, there was a ton of drama, but it resulted in stuff in the ring week to week. Now Raw did that too, but it resulted in great stuff in the ring on the PPVs, which means the TV can be kind of boring to sit through.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,505
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is pretty historic show in that we have a world title match as Kane defends against the man he beat last night, Steve Austin. Other than that, we also have the debut of one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the company: the Brawl For All. Other than that, we’ve got Shamrock as the new King of the Ring and we begin the road to Fully Loaded, which is in four weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a still package from the title match last night. Taker smacked Austin in the head with a chair and claimed that it was inadvertent. Either way, it cost Austin the title.

Here’s Vince and here’s all fired up. There’s a red carpet in the ring and the title is under glass. He spends a lot of time bragging about how awesome the new champion is rather than the old one. Vince praises Kane who has never had alcohol or uttered a swear or anything like that. He’s a role model apparently. Here’s Kane and Bearer does the talking of course.

Paul talks about how this is a place where dreams come true. He spent over twenty years watching Kane watch his brother and about how Kane wanted to be like Taker. Bearer told him that Kane could be better than him. For the first time, Taker is in Kane’s shadow. Here’s the belt presentation. Patterson isn’t here due to a family emergency which is legit if I remember correctly.

Vince goes to put the title on Kane but here’s Austin. He says Kane never busted him open which is true. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight. He keeps telling Vince to make it but Vince is hesitant. If the people want it, why not do it? Bearer says it’s all right with him if it’s all right with Kane. Now Austin yells at Kane, talking about how it was Taker who won the title last night and in a great bit of manipulation, Austin says Kane will always want to know if he could do it himself. Kane nods yes to Austin and the title match is on for later.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Here’s the new King, Ken Shamrock. He talks about how it was hard to win last night but he managed to win. As far as Rocky goes, the guy he beat last night, last night Rocky showed him something. Here comes Owen who says he was a better king than Ken is. Owen challenges him for later and Ken says it was Owen that broke his ankle so it’s on. Now here’s HHH who wants in on this too. Shamrock is a really weak talker. Granted that isn’t his strong suit and never was supposed to be.

We had to get here. I didn’t want to do it but we had to eventually. It’s time for the Brawl For All.

The UFC was gaining popularity so WWF tried to get in on some of it. This is the result. There are three one minute rounds and a point system. You get 5 points for the most punches per round, 5 points for a takedown and 10 points for a knockdown. A knockout ends the fight.

Now here’s where things got really stupid: It wasn’t predetermined. That’s right: this is a legit fighting tournament. Now, any common sense would suggest that Dan Sever, a legit all-American wrestler and an Olympic alternate as well as a former UFC Champion, would be the runaway favorite. However, for some reason this was designed to get Dr. Death Steve Williams over. That didn’t happen. It also didn’t help that it was another tournament just after the King of the Ring and that there were no submissions. Let’s get this over with.

Brawl For All First Round: Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

I won’t be rating any of these because it’s not wrestling. Blackman takes him down quickly but instead of holding him on the ground, they stand up and start all over again as soon as they hit the ground. The crowd is openly booing 26 seconds in. Blackman gets 4 takedowns in the first round alone. He also got the most punches so he’s up 25-0. The fans say they want wrestling. Blackman dominates the second round and there’s no point to even talking about this. After about 9 takedowns, Blackman wins by decision, making the points worthless. He was hurt though so Mero got to come back. So freaking stupid.

Kane says he’s giving Austin a title shot because he knows he can win and is better than Taker ever was.

Someone is just getting here.

Val Venis vs. Dick Togo

Make your own name jokes. Val chases Yamaguchi off with a chair. Yamaguchi’s wife is at ringside, which comes into play later. Val pounds him into the corner for a fast start. Dustin Rhodes comes out to preach a bit. Togo runs the corner and hits a nice flip dive attack. Rhodes wants to know if Jerry and JR have thought about how many people they can reach by spreading the word of God. Jerry says chill and Rhodes quotes scripture. DDT gets two for Togo. Togo goes up but jumps into a powerslam. A regular slam sets up the Money Shot (with gyrations) to end this clean. Pretty much just a squash.

Val hits on Yamaguchi’s wife post match. Yamaguchi protests and slaps him. Kai En Tai comes in so Val blasts them with a chair.

Edge is watching from the crowd.

Austin says he didn’t lose the title so he’ll be getting it back tonight.

HHH vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Owen and Hart fight on the floor while HHH chills in the ring. Owen comes in so HHH pounds on him for a bit and the jumping knee gets two. Jerry suggests that HHH would have been the King of Kings if he had won there. So that’s where it started. All three are back in now and the fans are all over Owen. Shamrock and Owen wind up double teaming the Game and Shamrock gets two.

Owen is sent to the floor and HHH gets a flying knee for two. A piledriver gets two on Trips but Shamrock saves. Snap suplex puts Owen down but he pops up and grabs a German on Shamrock for two. During the break we got the triple sleeper and double jawbreaker spot. Now the blondes are going after the ankle of Shamrock which isn’t totally healed yet. A missile dropkick puts HHH down (with an inadvertent bell) and Owen hooks a Sharpshooter (Jerry: “Is Vince around?”).

Now Triple H tries the Pedigree on Shamrock but Owen breaks it up with a spinwheel kick. DDT puts HHH down and Shamrock comes back on Owen. Leg lariat gets two for Ken and he crushes HHH. Here’s the ankle lock to Owen but HHH makes the save. Rana is countered by HHH into a powerbomb but he gets enziguried to the floor. Chyna takes Owen out so Shamrock goes out to beat on him. Rock runs in and blasts HHH with the IC Title. Shamrock comes in and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a long match and it was very energetic as they moved all over the place the entire time. I wasn’t wild on it but I’m not a fan of triple threats in general. This was before the modern standard triple threat formula was established though so it was a nice change of pace.

DX and the Nation fight on the stage as is their custom. Owen puts Shamrock in a figure four around the post.

Here’s Taker who has an explanation of some sort. He says he owes no one anything but he’ll say why he came to the ring last night. He and his brother don’t get along but he couldn’t let Kane set himself on fire. Cole who is conducting the interview says that may have cost Austin the title. Taker says he did what he had to do.

Cue Vince who says Taker did it because he thinks he can beat Kane but not Austin. Vince calls him evil and threatens him with something if he interferes tonight.

Brawl For All First Round: Bradshaw vs. Mark Canterbury

Canterbury is Henry Godwinn. They throw a lot of punches during the first round and are gassed afterwards. Bradshaw pounds him down but Canterbury stands up. The fans think it’s boring. I’m not really going to bother talking about these much because that’s not what I’m here for. Canterbury gets a takedown as Lawler tries to make us believe that this is something impressive. Bradshaw wins if you care.

Summerslam is in 9 weeks. That would be pretty easily the biggest Summerslam ever.

Here’s the LOD minus Sunny. Animal says they have a new manager: Paul Ellering, their original manager. Here’s the LOD to complain though. Ellering turns on the LOD because the DOA is his new team. Ellering would later say that this was awful because he couldn’t bring himself to insult the LOD.

Taker says no one tells him what to do, implying that he’ll interfere in the title match.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Kane

Austin has a bad arm from an infection I believe. Austin goes right at Kane but gets knocked down by the power. A forearm shot floors Kane though and the fans are erupting after every single move. Quick Stunner attempt is countered and Kane heads outside. Austin dives from the apron with a clothesline and Kane goes into the steps.

Back inside and Kane hammers him down but walks into the Thesz Press. Austin goes after the leg, wrapping it around the post. Kane kicks him to the floor and Austin goes into the steps again. Austin is in trouble so the fans cheer even faster. Even Bearer gets a poke in with what looked like an object. Off to a chinlock and here’s Taker.

Austin tries to make a comeback but walks into a big boot by the champion. Top rope clothesline takes Austin down. Austin tries to come back but walks into a bad chokeslam. Tombstone and Stunner are countered but the second attempt at the Stunner gives Austin the title back totally clean. Taker did nothing at all.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird match. Austin pretty much just beat Kane clean in about 9 minutes. I mean…that’s it. He too all of the attacks, countered the Tombstone and hit the Stunner to end it. There’s nothing else to it and that’s such a surprise given how dominant Kane had been over his time so far.

Austin Stuns Taker post match and the giants sit up at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Brawl For All stuff just cripples it. I know it’s short, but my goodness it takes me out of the show. It drives me crazy when wrestling apparently isn’t enough so they have to do whatever else they can to try to get people watching. Just stick with what it says on the marquee and you won’t go wrong. Why Vince hates that idea is beyond me.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 2005
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 14,387
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and another three hour show. This is the return of Raw to the USA Network which warranted the debut of apparently the first ever three hour Raw spectacular. As for the card, it’s a two match show but they’re two big matches: Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a ladder match and Shawn vs. Kurt in an iron man match. This should be good so let’s get to it.

The copy has comes with the final five minutes of a special aired before this called Raw Comes Home. Yes, there were four hours of the WWE on this Monday. This part is just a highlight reel and Shawn talks about being at the first Raw. They talk about the Manhattan Center. Sean Mooney makes a cameo. They all knew Raw was special. Shawn is proud of being here the whole time. Vince says the Attitude Era is who they really are. And here’s forty seconds to say that the modern stuff is ok too.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Foley to get things going. The ring is set up for Piper’s Pit. Foley says he’s come back home. He introduces the host because the host is no ordinary man. Here’s Piper whose gut is rapidly growing. Piper says he thought he was crazy but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. But them Piper read Foley’s new book Scooter and he hasn’t slept with the light off in four days.

This is Piper’s Pit though and the fans want to know when Foley is coming back to the WWE. Isn’t he here already? Foley says he came back last year and got beaten up so to come back again he needs a good reason. Piper says the people are a good reason. Cue the Ortons and Foley cuts Randy off and says he should be worried about the legend that’s going to take Orton out this Sunday at No Mercy (Undertaker).

Orton says he isn’t here to talk to Foley, but rather Piper. Piper greets him warmly but Orton cuts him off, saying without Papa Orton, there would be no Piper. Orton goes off on him, saying his dad did all the work and Piper got all the glory. Orton shoves him so Piper takes him down. Foley and Bob pull them apart but Bob sucker punches Roddy and RKOs leave the legends laying.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle. Angle won at Mania, Shawn won at Vengeance, tonight is the rubber match.

Teddy and Eric meet in the back and Eric yells about Orton, a Smackdown guy, coming in tonight. Teddy doesn’t know anything about it but Eric wants to know who else is coming from Smackdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This is thirty minute iron man match. A TON of legends are in the front row. Shawn charges in and runs into a suplex/powerslam from Kurt. Shawn chops him in the corner to take over. Swinging neckbreaker takes Kurt down for two and they head to the floor. Angle hammers him in the corner so Shawn hooks a sleeper. A suplex gets him out of it and Kurt pounds him down for a bunch of two counts.

There’s a chinlock but they have a ton of time to work with here. Shawn breaks it with a jawbreaker at five minutes in. Shawn launches him to the floor and Angle flips forward to land on his face. Freaking OW man. Baseball slide misses and Angle hits the Slam on the floor. Angle stomps away at Shawn in the corner but Michaels comes back briefly. Kurt kills him with a buckle bomb for two.

A superplex is countered but Shawn takes too long up there so Kurt runs the corner and hits a top rope Angle Slam for the first fall after 8:10. Back with about 18 minutes to go and Kurt hooks a chinlock. Shawn tries a comeback but charges into the post. German suplex gets two. Angle whips him in hard but another Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into the ankle lock. Shawn counters into a rollup for the tie at just before 15 minutes to go. Or is it 15 minutes in?

Out to the floor and Shawn gets his head rammed into the steps. Back in and it’s a body scissors by Kurt. Shawn bites the head to get out of it and they slug it out. With twelve minutes left Shawn gets a rollup for two which is rolled into an ankle lock. Kurt hooks the grapevine and Shawn has to tap with about 11:15 to go, putting him up 2-1 and we take a break.

Back with Kurt working on the leg at seven and a half minutes left. Shawn hammers away but Kurt takes out the leg again. He slaps Kurt for some reason and hits the forearm (Flying Burrito says JR). Here’s Shawn’s offensive sequence and the elbow hits. Sweet Chin Music ties it up with 4:45 to go.

Four and a half minutes left. Kurt rolls to the floor and the replay shows that the kick looked awesome. Four minutes left. Shawn gets flipped over in the corner and the Angle Slam gets two. With three minutes left, Shawn counters a Slam into a DDT. Both guys are down but Shawn covers for two at two and a half minutes left. Two minutes to go.

Angle rolls through a moonsault press into an ankle lock in a cool counter. 90 seconds left. Shawn tries to kick him off but Kurt grapevines it again and we have a minute left. Shawn rolls over which might help a bit. Thirty to go and a kick to the face breaks the hold. I’ve NEVER seen the grapevine broken. Shawn kicks his head off but it’s too late for the pin as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they kept things moving. These two had fantastic chemistry together and this worked perfectly. The ending is kind of weak and Shawn holding on that long is a BIG stretch, but when 28 minutes are fine, there’s not much more you can ask for. Good stuff and all iron man matches should be 30 minutes.

Shawn wants overtime but Kurt walks.

We run down the card for the rest of the show. Lita looks great in the graphic.

Cena was at some hip hop awards show last week.

Kevin Von Erich is in the front row. Think he’s cheered in Dallas?

Eric comes up to see Vince in the back and tries to get out of the match with Cena tonight. He wants it to be No DQ. Vince says no. Eric goes into Easy E mode and calls him Vince. He goes off, saying this is just to drive Eric crazy so we can have a Self Destruction of Eric Bischoff DVD. He calls Vince sick and Vince says you have no idea.

Lillian reads a prepared statement about Vince and his accomplishments (“He is strong, he is handsome, he is…..well endowed?”). Here’s Vince who says this is like the old days. He remembers February 8, 1998. That was the night he beat up Steve Austin. We get a clip (the date stamp says 99, which is correct) of Austin getting pinned by Vince which is his favorite moment.

Vince talks about another favorite moment and here’s Austin. He says Vince looks nervous and isn’t sure why. Vince made Austin right? Austin remembers things differently so here are some of his clips. First up: Austin as a doctor attacking Vince in the hospital and anally violating him with an IV. The next clip is of Bang 3:16. Finally it’s the beer truck which somehow was named the #1 moment in Raw history.

Vince wants to start all over again with Austin. He only showed one of the 12 clips he had. Austin doesn’t quite buy it and Vince tries to run. Austin flips him off and Stuns him because that’s how things should be with these two. Before Austin leaves here’s the dancing son. And there’s a Stunner for Shane before he can do anything. Austin has another beer and it’s Stephanie to the rescue.

Stephanie yells about some stuff and wants to know who Austin thinks he is. He says Steph is lovely and asks what fragrance she’s wearing. Stephanie accidentally grabs his hand and Austin says he gets it: she’s flirting with him. Maybe she’s like to give old Stone Cold a kiss? She slaps him instead so there’s a Stunner for Stephanie. Now here’s Linda of all people. I don’t see this ending well.

Linda goes off on Austin for what happened. Why did he Stun Vince? “Your husband is a piece of trash.” Shane? “He’s a chip off the old block of trash.” Stephanie? “She’s a beautiful young piece of trash.” Linda wants an apology for the family but Austin say why? It was just three Stunners. Austin apologizes and Linda goes to leave. Austin stops her and asks for a kiss on the cheek. He almost implies sex but he’s talking about having a beer.

Linda drinks…and Austin’s arm goes up against her head and she falls down as Austin does. There wasn’t any contract on the fall so it looked awful, but she’s not a wrestler. You know, Vince has been unconscious for 12 minutes now. Shouldn’t he get a doctor to look at him or something?

After a break, Vince says someone will pay for what Austin did and someone is getting fired. It would somehow wind up being JR, who had to leave for legit medical issues.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra nice tonight.  Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt leaves with security.

Ashley and Trish get ready for later. They talk trash about their bra and panties handicap match later. Mae Young pops up to offer her services. She then flashes some legends and DiBiase offers to pay her to put her shirt back on. Moolah makes the save. Snuka wants to give her the money for something else. Oh dear.

Maria gets hit on by Flair. Flair, the IC Champion, says this is about the return of HHH.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair/HHH

This is HHH’s return from the beatings Batista gave him. The former Evolution team is good here and HHH looks a little chubby. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Flair clearing the ring. Flair and Carlito start us off and it’s chops all around from the partners. We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping Ric. Carlito spits the apple in Flair’s face and puts on the figure four.

Trips comes in to break it up but Carlito keeps up on the knee. He slaps Flair in the face but walks into a HARD chop. Carlito goes up and Flair slams him off for a nice change of pace. Flair Flops and Masters breaks up the tag. Masterlock doesn’t quite go on so Flair hits him low. Double tag brings in Carlito to face HHH and house is cleaned with a high knee for both guys. Now a spinebuster for both guys. HHH goes under the ring and pulls out the hammer. Carlito saves Masters from a shot with it but takes a Pedigree. Flair takes out Masters and it’s over.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here so that Flair and HHH could look dominant. Carlito was never really a guy that never got over and I’m not completely sure what the exact reason was. I don’t know if it was his look of his attitude but it never really clicked. Masters was stuck with a bad gimmick and they would never give him anything different so it’s no wonder he never went anywhere.

Post match HHH and Flair celebrate but HHH turns on him by busting him open with the sledgehammer. He hits Flair again with the hammer and we have a lot of blood. HHH sends him to the floor and beats on him in front of the legends in a nice touch.

During the break HHH kept beating on Flair in the back. It’s still going as we’re live. HHH shouts at him about how Flair is better than anybody and HHH isn’t going to let it keep happening. He yells at all the security to try and do something about it. Now they go to a limo and HHH slaps him. He throws Flair in the limo and then breaks the window with the hammer as it drives away. This would wind up being because HHH thought Flair was a joke and a parody of himself so he did this for his own good. This would result in a very violent old school cage match.

The Legends are all in the ring now. There must be 25 guys in there. I’m not sure Dean Malenko qualifies as a legend but I’ll take what I can get. Dusty talks about how all of them used to have some great times. He wants to talk about Harley Race but here’s Rob Conway who was going after legends around this time, although at a much weaker level than Orton.

Conway asks if this is Homecoming or a nursing home. He says this looks like a funeral and they need to go back to their old folks’ home to make room for the next generation. Dusty goes off on him and says that the Legends built the table Conway eats off of. Conway calls Race fat and that’s enough for the legends. Everyone beats on him and David Von Erich puts him down with the Claw. That of course blows the roof off the place. Snuka even hits the Superfly Splash!

Candace Michelle/Victoria/Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The three chicks are eventually going to be known as Vince’s Devils and they come out to what would become Laycool’s music. This is bra and panties rules and Trish is Women’s Champion. The three of them combine to rip Ashley’s top off quickly. Ashley rips Victoria’s top off and it’s time for a chase scene. Trish kicks Victoria’s head off and we head in. Jerry: “Where are the puppies???” JR: “In the same place they always are King.” Everyone but Trish loses their shirt and she strips Victoria. Candace almost loses her underwear and Torrie is stripped to end it. I’m not rating it because I think you get the idea here.

Angle comes up to Eric in the back and asks if Eric is worried about the Smackdown guys. Eric isn’t worried and also says that since Vince left, he’s in charge. Cena vs. Bischoff is now No DQ. It would be an honor to have Kurt be at ringside with him. It’s for the title and Bischoff implies if Angle helps him win the title, Eric will forfeit the title and name Kurt the new champion.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit/Batista/Rey Mysterio

Benoit is US Champion, Batista is World Champion, Teddy Long is in the ring too, Eddie would be dead in about 5 weeks, JBL dances to the ring, and these are all matches on Sunday (Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Benoit was defending the title against Christian, Booker and Orlando Jordan). And there’s no match. The bell rings but Eric comes out and says hold everything. This is Raw, not Smackdown, so cut the lights. Eric cracks up at this and says go to a commercial. This set up Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series.

After a break, here’s Mean Gene to introduce Hulk Hogan. Gene talks about the reality show and all that and asks what’s next. Hulk asks if you can feel the power of Hulkamania here in Dallas. He says he’d love to face Shawn again at any time but I don’t think that ever happened. As for his next challenger, he saw someone out here tonight and the people reacted to him like no one else. The fans chant for Austin and that’s who Hogan means. He wants to know what these people would do if he climbed in the ring with that Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. That match would have drawn tens of millions but it never happened.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

Angle and Cena go at it post match but here’s Teddy to say chill. Teddy says Eric embarrassed Smackdown so here comes the Smackdown guys to beat down Angle and Cena. Raw guys run in and the show ends with Big Show getting in. There’s Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show. It’s like all of the good stuff was at the beginning and then after that everything slows way down and feels a lot less important. The Raw vs. Smackdown stuff was cool but it was a lead for another show. Cena and Eric’s fight was never given a reason and was pretty boring. This show needed much better pacing but the stuff we got at the beginning was quite good.

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Is there any reason for this? My take:

If you’ve read my review of the show, the answer seems to be that Ryder is the guy that got over on his own and that’s not what the company wants.  Unless this is a real injury, I don’t see any need for it.  He got put in the horrible storyline with Eve who does nothing but complain to Cena and look good in shorts.  Ryder has gone from the hottest thing in wrestling to a pawn in a Cena storyline to tide him over until Mania.  Think about that for a minute.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2012
Location: US Airways Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s actual emotion from Ace, I’m kind of curious as to what happens tonight. The Rumble is in six days and they’ve seemingly only built up to the actual match on Smackdown. That being said, it’s the Royal Rumble so it’s not like it needs much build. It’s a 30 man battle royal with an obvious prize to the winner. That’s not hard to sell. Let’s get to it.

We open things up with the champ. He sits down in the ring and talks about how this Sunday is the Rumble and a big WWE Title match is on the card. Ziggler claims that he’s beaten Punk three times this month, and that’s because he has. Now granted, all of those had Ace helping him but he has indeed beaten him three times. Punk calls Ace a failure, which he knows is true after looking it up on Wikipedia.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week. Punk is a little worried about Ace promising to screw him. However, what exactly can Ace do with two broken arms? Punk calls him out but when there’s no GM, Punk says he’s going after him. Cue….Cena? Cena looks ticked off. He says he was sick of hearing Punk ramble. He’s out here for business, not to talk. Cena demands Ace is here in a few moments to atone for his sins with Ryder last week. Also he wants a match tonight with Kane before his match at the Rumble. Cena also says Ace will resign. Now that’s something new.

Cena looks at the ramp and Punk says Ace needs to be here because of the people. Cue Ace who talks about having days where we wish we could change things. Last week wasn’t one of those days though. Punk calls Ace down to the ring and it’s the whole “I don’t work for you” line from Ace. Ryder is cleared to compete tonight and gets Kane tonight in a falls count anywhere match. If Cena gets involved, Ryder will never get a US Title rematch. Ace makes the tag team match against Ziggler/Swagger and it starts RIGHT NOW.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. John Cena/CM Punk

The bad guys promise vengeance before the match. The bell is after a break. Ziggler vs. Cena gets us going. Punk is in long black shorts here which is a new look for him. Well technically as those are what he wore in ROH. Cena hits the running bulldog to start and here’s Punk. Ziggler bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with the starters and Ziggler speeding things up a bit and strutting.

Cena takes over and struts as well. Off to Swagger who takes it to the mat with a double chickenwing. Cena snaps off a suplex but Dolph makes the save with a dropkick. He drops a bunch of elbows and does the situps spot. Swagger Bomb gets two. Ace is texting or tweeting or whatever. Jack puts on a bearhug but Cena fires off an AA out of nowhere. Cena is so weakened though that he can only tag out.

Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline on Ziggy and he busts out his usual stuff. He sticks his tongue out like Jordan but the GTS is countered. High kick gets two as Swagger saves. Everything breaks down and Swagger gets the ankle lock on the floor but Cena reverses into the STF. Punk goes up but Ace distracts him. Punk threatens to him him and Ziggler rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C+. Decent main event style tag match here with them playing up the idea of Ziggler getting the title via a screwjob. Cena and Swagger were just kind of there really but they kind of had a story to them so it made sense. Not a great match or anything but it was better than most of the recent main event tags.

Punk says this changes nothing because on Sunday, Ace will screw him and Punk will beat him up. Punk says since Ace likes giving Ziggler presents, he’ll give Ace a chance. For one night only, Ace should be a superstar. Tonight: Punk vs. Ace. He accepts and the fans cheer.

Jericho will be in the Highlight Reel next.

We get a clip from Jericho walking out last week.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel. He’s officially in the Rumble according to Lawler. Jericho picks up the mic and asks for silence. Nothing said yet. He puts the mic up to his mouth twice but he has an idea. He gets out of the ring and runs up to the stage, asking for one second. Jericho goes into the back and comes back with a t-shirt cannon and ammo. He doesn’t shoot any shirts but steals the camera which we get shots from.

Back to the mic again and once more he asks for silence. He points at the Jeritron 5000 and we get the Millennium Countdown and a highlight package of his career, including winning the Undisputed title. The fans cheer once it’s over but there are some boos in there too. HE SPEAKS! I’ve never heard a bigger pop for the word “This Sunday at the Royal Rumble”. He says that this Sunday, it’s going to be the end of the world as you know it. And that’s it. The lights go out, the jacket goes on, and we go to a break.

We get a WWE Rewind from September with the Hugh Jackman show.

We now get one of my favorite things of the year: the It’s All About The Numbers promo for the Rumble. I love these things.

31 Hall of Famers in Rumbles
21 Wrestlemania main events for those Hall of Famers
695 participants in total
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the most everything
35 eliminations for Kane, the second most all time
194,107 pounds total, or 430 Big Shows
421,883 fans have seen the Rumbles
62:12 is the record amount of time in the Rumble, set by Mysterio
3 wins for Austin, the record
2 seconds, as in the record held by Warlord for over 20 years
1 second, Santino’s record breaking mark
2 women in the Rumble
#1 is the entrant that has produced the same amount of entrants as #30
27 is the lucky number, with four winners
55% have gone on to win their Mania match, dating back to 1993

Ryder is with Eve when Foley comes up. He says Kane is an animal, but he’s just a human being. And Foley is serious bro. Eve is worried and tries to call it off. Cena pops up to a mixed reaction. He says he’s got Ryder’s back if needed but Ryder says stay out of it so Ryder can get his rematch. He’s not mean about it though.

Zack Ryder vs. Kane

Falls count anywhere so Ryder isn’t so thrilled. He still has bad ribs/back too. Ryder goes right for him which is better than he’s done lately. Kane kicks him off the apron where Ryder’s face slams into the table. His back goes into the post and there’s a slam outside. Ryder goes back first into the steps and this has been domination. Eve is at ringside now and this isn’t going to end well. Back into the table again and we take a break.

Back and the beating continues on the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two. Here’s the smother and the referee asks what Ryder says. Well they’re not paid for their intelligence. Out into the crowd now and they go up by the tech area. Ryder hasn’t has any offense in about 8 minutes. Oh wait there’s a shot with a metal case. This is no DQ apparently. Back to the ramp now and Kane kicks him in the ribs.

Ryder goes head first into the WWE logo and a piece of it breaks off. That only gets two and Kane isn’t sure what to do here. A headbutt puts Ryder down as the fans chant for Zack. A few punches by Ryder don’t get him anywhere. And Ryder is chokeslammed through the stage. Ok then. The match just ends. Kane goes after Eve but Cena comes out and Kane runs into the crowd. Match ran roughly ten minutes.

Rating: D. You know I’m really getting ticked off at how they’re treating Ryder. He might as well have been Barry Horowitz out here with how much offense he got in. The guy comes up with a brand new character, makes WWE a bunch of money they wouldn’t have gotten in merchandize sales, and has now been treated like a rag doll by Kane multiple times, making him look like any other guy. I can’t stand this company at times.

Back from a break and Ryder is put on a stretcher. He’s put in an ambulance and Eve, that whiny little pest, says this is all Cena’s fault. Josh Matthews picks NOW to put a mic in Cena’s face. Cena slaps it out of his hands and is very ticked off.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

This is their 5th match and Sheamus has never lost. There was a tag match in there too. Barrett, as in the guy Sheamus should be feuding with with no Mahal involved, comes out for commentary. There are the ten forearms. Mahal hits a running knee to the face to take over with a cobra clutch. Well kind of. It’s closer to a Tazmission. Screw it: it’s a chinlock. Sheamus gets up and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:10.

Rating: D. Sheamus is probably my current favorite wrestler but I have no interest in seeing him against Mahal ever again. I mean…we get it. Sheamus can destroy Mahal at will. It’s now just a challenge of how fast can he do it anymore. Why is Mahal even in this at all? Why isn’t it Sheamus vs. Barrett?

Anyway, Sheamus invites Barrett in but Barrett says no. Sheamus says he’ll win the Rumble.

Miz says that Truth will be repeating history because every partner he’s had has been destroyed. Truth comes up and says he’s a marketing analyst and declares Miz the #1 guy in being boring, uninteresting and making people ask What Else Is On. Truth also thinks his name is Fleischer. Ace comes up and breaks them up. The loser of the match is #1 in the Rumble.

Orton is back on Friday.

William Regal is on commentary for this next match due to his dancing on Friday.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Brodus is in a white suit now. I’m assuming Regal will be his first feud. Slater gets run over to start. Heath gets the first notable offense in against Clay: a dropkick. And never mind as Slater is run over, suplexed and What The Funk ends this in 55 seconds.

Rumble Moment: Taker wins from #30.

R-Truth vs. The Miz

The loser is #1 in the Rumble on Sunday. Cole says that two men have gone from #1 to win the Rumble. I’d LOVE to hear someone ask who those people are. This is much more of a brawl than a match. They go to the floor quickly and then back inside. Miz drops him on the floor and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting something for two.

Off to an abdominal stretch which Truth escapes. He starts his comeback with a nice rolling victory roll for two. Backslide gets two but Miz hits the Reality Check for two. He loads up the Finale but Truth rolls through it. Little Jimmy is countered and a short DDT gets two. And out of nowhere a Little Jimmy gets the pin at 8:13. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. These two just don’t have good chemistry together. I remember them having a match I believe the Fatal Fourway PPV a few years back and it was simply dreadful. These are guys that are far better on the mic than in the ring, which becomes a problem after awhile. Not horrible but pretty much just there.

We get a medical update on Ryder: he has a broken back. Oh geez they’re writing him off aren’t they. If this isn’t for a legit injury, I don’t think I’ll have ever been more annoyed.

Ace is warming up. It’s 10:54 and he’s in his office. Otunga pops up with a fax and says it can’t wait. Ace isn’t happy with it, whatever it says.

It’s 10:59, so let’s run down the card for Sunday!

CM Punk vs. John Laruinaitis

And there’s no Ace. Oh wait here he is and we hear about his resume from All Japan, said by name. Otunga is here too. Ace says he got a fax from the board of directors. Otunga reads it and it says the board is concerned about his activities as interim GM of Raw. His status as interim GM is officially under review. Next week he’ll get a formal job evaluation to determine if he keeps his job or is terminated. HHH is giving the job evaulation.

Punk is very happy and says that means he won’t get screwed. Ace calls it a wakeup call and says this is all a misunderstanding. Foley is in the Rumble and he was always going to call the title match down the middle. Punk calls Ace a little girl that gets everything all year long but at Christmas she’s afraid of getting coal. He wants Ace to be fired. Ace says that won’t happen. No match of course.

Otunga will be subbing so he jumps him. There was no bell. Punk takes him down and Vices him. Ace backs away and Punk has a mouse under his eye. There’s a high kick to Otunga and Ace backs off again. He offers a handshake but walks into a GTS. Ziggler runs in and gives him the Zig Zag to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t work at all and that’s because most of this was about taking out the new guy that got popular in a hurry on his own. I mean seriously, a broken back? If it’s as bad as it sounds, that’s probably what, back by April at the very best? Barring a legit injury, why in the world would you take away the second or third most popular guy on Raw? I hope there’s more to it than that, because if not then they’re idiots at a level even I didn’t expect. Bad show and I don’t think they realize the Rumble is Sunday.

Results
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. CM Punk/John Cena – Rollup to Punk with a handful of tights
Kane vs. Zack Ryder went to a no contest when Kane chokeslammed Ryder through the stage
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – What The Funk
R-Truth b. The Miz – Little Jimmy

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 1995
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 2,751
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

This is (as close as I can tell given how messed up and screwy WWE is at a simple thing like counting) the 100th episode of Raw. With the 1000th episode coming in July, I thought it might be fun to look at every 100th episode and see how things have changed. Now it’s very possible this isn’t exactly the 100th but it’s close enough. Let’s get to it.

The opening opens us up.

Tonight we’re going to hear from Lawrence Taylor himself.

The announcers chat for a bit and that siren is getting old quickly.

Lex Luger talks about the big showdown with Tatanka tonight. This started back at Summerslam where Lex was supposed to have sold out to DiBiase but it was his friend Tatanka that did it. Tatanka has jumped Lex a few times and beat up Chief Jay Strongbow as well, which of course means war.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Well you can’t say they’re keeping us waiting. This is when DiBiase and his Million Dollar Team had stolen the Undertaker’s urn. Strongbow comes out with Luger. It’s a chase to start and Tatanka chops him in the corner. Lex hammers away and Tatanka hides on the floor. After a lengthy stall out there, Tatanka comes back in to hammer away. Luger no sells all of that and Tatanka goes outside again.

This time though Tatanka uses the tights of Luger to pull him through the ropes and into the barricade so Tatanka can take over. Strongbow with the full headdress is a bit distracting. A chop gets two as we take a break. Back with the racial stereotype still in control. Off to a bearhug by Tatanka which looks like some high impact cuddling. Lex, could you at least look awake?

He fights out of it and hits a suplex and this slow match somehow gets even slower. Tatanka chops away in the corner but Lex veeeeeeeeeeeery slooooooooooooooowly Huuuuuulks Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup. And now he grabs a sleeper. Are you kidding me? That used to be Strongbow’s finisher apparently so Tatanka is mad at him for not teaching it to Tatanka. The headdress is destroyed and Strongbow chops him.

Lex goes after Tatanka and takes over as we take a break. Back with Luger running over Tatanka and knocking him to the floor. Tatanka tries to walk out but Lex makes the stop. Tatanka tries to walk out again but fails AGAIN. Dude just run! Lex rams him into the buckle a bunch of times but has to stop DiBiase. Tatanka walks again and this time escapes for the countout.

Rating: D. This was like a lawnmower that kept sputtering when you pulled on the rope. It was trying to start but it kept dying every time. The constant attempts to run away and then they finally got it to work. That was kind of a letdown but the match was nothing to see in the first place. That’s almost half of the show too.

We get a clip from a battle royal on Superstars where Lawler was put out but landed on one foot. He hopped around the ring until Bret stomped on the foot on the floor.

Owen Hart vs. Larry Santo

Owen is pretty freshly out of the main event here and is still in the upper midcard. Cornette tries to tell us that Larry Santo is the son of El Santo. Santo works over the arm and Owen is having some issues to start. Larry walks into a spinwheel kick though and Owen takes over. It turns into a squash with Owen doing various painful things to Santo. A missile dropkick sets up the Sharpshooter for the tap out.

Rating: D. Just a quick squash here. Owen would I think hook up with Yokozuna soon after this to win the tag titles. He had just finished a nearly year long feud with Bret which was pretty awesome and made a couple classics in the process. Santo was a guy from SMW so no wonder Cornette had jokes about him.

Lawrence Taylor says he wasn’t being disrespectful to Bam Bam Bigelow. The idea is that at the Rumble, Bigelow and Tatanka had lost in the finals of a tag team title tournament and Taylor laughed in his face. Bigelow shoved him and this is the big Mania angle and was the main event. Taylor says he’s tired of seeing the footage. He says he’s still weighing his options and might fight him at Mania. Cornette wants to talk to Bigelow and brings him into the interview. Thank goodness because this was going nowhere. They talk trash and I Dream of Jeannie is mentioned. They’re going to meet at a cafe. This was awful.

Doink the Clown vs. Bob Cook

Cornette goes on an anti-clown rant as Dink comes in to be annoying. Dink interferes and this is just bad. It’s “comedy” don’t you know? Off to the arm as Vince talks about weight loss or something. Doink hammers on him a bit and wins with the Whoopee Cushion (seated senton splash from the top). Total squash.

Video on how Davey was in the Rumble #2 but lost to Shawn in the amazing finish. Somehow WWE.com declared this the greatest moment ever in the Rumble. There was another battle royal on Sunday and Michaels eliminated himself. Bulldog won the battle royal and next week they’re having a match.

Kama Mustafa vs. Ken Raper

What an awful last name! Can you imagine all the jokes he had to get? Imagine, being named after the dead dad in The Lion King. Kama pounds him down and we’re in another squash. He’s the Supreme Fighting Machine which means a striking master. Belly to belly sets up a modified STF to end this. Nothing, again.

Davey says he isn’t worried about Shawn and/or Sid next week.

They talk about the press conference tomorrow to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The feature match was boring, the big promo was boring, the feature mach didn’t end anything, and the squashes were boring as well. Nothing to see at all here but it was the 100th episode (we think). Unfortunately this was an absolutely HORRIBLE time for the company as no one cared about anything. Bad show but thankfully we won’t be back here for a long time.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 2003
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and the last of the six straight Raws I decided to schedule in a row, probably due to head trauma of some sort. This is the night after the Rumble where Brock won and gets the shot at Angle at the PPV. Other than that, HHH is of course still world champion which he would hold for the greater part of eternity. This is a very bad year for WWE so I have no idea why someone would want to see this. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the required MLK video.

We open with Vince yelling at Eric and giving him 30 days to turn Raw around or he’s fired. This was from last week I presume. Bischoff wouldn’t get fired for like two and a half years. It’s implied that Shane will be made GM if Eric can’t do it. Eric has a bombshell for us tonight.

Raw is live, Across The Nation.

Here’s HHH to open things up, following what might have been the worst world title match in recorded history. JR has never seen anyone manhandle HHH like Steiner. If that means you’ve never seen a match that almost made the fans riot over how bad it was, I agree. HHH is too sore to do his pose. His eye is banged up pretty good. He asks the fans who the champ is and says that for those of you that didn’t see the Rumble, he is. Gee the big gold belt on your arm was so inconspicuous too. He went thirty minutes (more like 18 but it felt like 30 hours) and made Steiner look awful.

HHH does however bless us with the statement of there won’t be a rematch. Cue Steiner who says he’s here to finish what he started last night. That title is his and everyone knows it. He wants a rematch tonight. Oh dear. HHH would love to do it again tonight but he has a doctor’s note. Flair says if Steiner wants a match, he can have Batista. Big Dave comes out and Flair jumps Scott. Steiner throws them around and stares down Batista. Evolution was about two weeks away from fully forming so there’s no Orton.

Raw’s Tenth Anniversary is coming. Oh sweet Christmas. We’ll get to that atrocity someday.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Rob eliminated him last night to set this up. They do their usual acrobatics to start us off. Jeff gets some kind of jawbreaker and a dropkick to send Van Dam to the floor. He tries to run the railing but gets kicked in the ribs to break that up. Back in Jeff gets two off that leg trap pinning attempt of his. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Van Dam comes back with the rolling fireman’s carry and a middle rope moonsault for two. Five Star misses and Jeff hits a Codebreaker. Swanton gets two so Jeff tries a reverse Twist which is countered into the backslide for the pin by RVD.

Rating: C. Quick match here but it worked pretty well I thought. Jeff got frustrated when the Swanton didn’t work and he let the distraction catch up to him. RVD would be around the upper midcard for awhile and then would get put in a dark match at Mania, probably because he was getting too popular.

Post match, Hardy turns heel (I kid you not) and attacks RVD. This would last for about a month before everyone realized how stupid this was. Oh and Jeff got released. Yeah that happened too. He was released in April and wouldn’t be back for over three years.

Nowitski and Christian are in the back and Christian complains about Edge. Eric comes in and is asked about the surprise later. Eric won’t tell them. Nowitski thinks he knows but won’t tell Christian.

Steiner is in the back when Orton (with a lot of hair) makes fun of him for losing last night. He talks about his shoulder injury and Steiner chokes him.

Chief Morley talks to a referee about the Dudleys. He shows Nick Patrick some footage and wants an honest evaluation on Nick’s performance. The Dudleys cheated but Nick missed it. Nick says he made a mistake so Morely says there needs to be a public apology. Ok then.

We get a clip from last week where Morely (Val Venis) was beaten down by the Dudleys.

Here’s Morely (Worst theme music I’ve heard in YEARS) with Patrick. Nick officially apologizes so Morely says that it’s now time to reverse the decision. Patrick says that’s against company policy and he can’t do that. Morely says that means he has to call out the Dudleys right now. He demands the Dudleys forfeit the titles but D-Von says no, in slightly more colorful language.

Morely demands the belts and threatens them. Bubba says no. Morely says give them to me. Bubba says no. Morely tries to take it so D-Von decks him. Bubba says get the tables but Storm/Regal run in and put Bubba through it. Morely says ring the bell right now, because the titles are on the line.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

It lasts 10 seconds and there are new champs. Great. Between the segment in the back, the commercial and this, this stuff got about 17 minutes. On the Dudleys, Morely, Regal and Storm. Seriously.

Trish Stratus/Hurricane vs. Victoria/Stevie Richards

Trish was named Diva of the Decade in a total joke recently before this. Victoria is Women’s Champion. The guys start off but it’s off to Victoria quickly. Trish comes in and this is pretty bad so far. Trish fires off some kicks and Victoria’s tights are rapidly coming down. Slingshot legdrop misses and it’s off to the boys again. Richards sets to DDT Trish but Hurricane kicks his head off and Stratusfaction ends Victoria. This went nowhere and was only around to set up the next Women’s Title match.

Eric tries to get ahold of Vince because the big announcement is next. He throws darts at a picture of Shane.

Sean O’Haire says church is stupid. Man this character could have been great, but then they sacrificed him for the sake of Piper, Hogan and Rikishi.

Here’s Eric. Now remember, he has 21 days left to turn Raw around or Shane gets his job. At the tenth anniversary of Raw he saw Austin as Superstar of the Decade and decided to bring him back to Raw because he hadn’t been seen in about six months. Eric talks about Austin walking out and says we’ve never heard his side of it yet. The presses on Raw Magazine have been stopped and Austin has the chance to tell his side of it. That isn’t the bombshell yet though. That would be that Austin is invited to the PPV….which is 34 days from today, which is longer than the 21 he has. I give up.

Booker T/Goldust vs. 3 Minute Warning

JR calls them 3 Count. They have Rico with them. Goldust starts with Jamal. They start off slow but Goldie speeds things up and brings in Booker. Jamal (Umaga) takes his head off with a clothesline but Booker comes back with a superkick. Back to Goldie who works on the arm. Rosey comes in and this is going nowhere. Back to Jamal and Goldie beats both of them up.

Shattered Dreams is broken up by a superkick and the Samoans take over. Goldie fights back again but gets caught in a chinlock. Powerslam gets two for Umaga. Off to Booker who cleans house with kicks but Rico pulls the ropes down to send Booker to the floor. A double DDT by Booker takes the Samoans down (oh give me a break. Learn your stereotypes already!). Everything breaks down and Jamal misses a top rope splash and the axe kick ends him.

Rating: D+. The match was ok, but it just came and went. There’s no story to it that I know of and it didn’t wasn’t anything great. That being said, I’ve seen worse and it could have been worse. The match was pretty pointless though, which was a bad trend around this time.

We recap the Jericho/Shawn thing last night. Jericho was #2 and cheated to eliminate Shawn, #1. Jericho eliminated 6 people until Shawn came back, jumped Jericho, and Test eliminated him.

Chris Jericho vs. Test

Stacy looks great at least. Jericho rants a bit before match about Shawn and all that jazz. Test is your good guy here and he hammers Test down to start with the power stuff. Jericho takes over and beats him down but Test avoids a charge in the corner to send Jericho’s shoulder into the post. Tilt-a-whirl and full nelson slams get two. Big boot misses and Jericho gets sent to the floor. Pumphandle slam out there is countered and Test goes shoulder first into the post. Jericho gets a chair but hits the post and Stacy. The match is stopped.

Rating: D. The match was just there for the finish which would somehow lead to a Test heel turn if my memory serves me right. Anyway, Jericho would get Shawn at Mania in a great match so that’s really all you can ask for. This wasn’t much though, which I mostly blame on Test and his lack of anything of note after about 2001.

They do the LONG ride to the back for Stacy with the terrified voices and there’s even a commercial in between. Test is crying. Oh boy.

From earlier today, Al Snow hypes the Tough Enough 3 finale this week. You can vote for one to be eliminated! The winners would be Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan (Morrison). Matt was better.

We’re back and Stacy is STILL down. It’s been about ten minutes of her being taken out after a five minute match. Remember that this is after the 18 minute tag title thing earlier.

Flair fires up Batista.

Tommy Dreamer vs. D’Lo Brown

This is a Singapore Cane match. Dreamer is in a Shawn Michael shirt for no apparent reason. Teddy Long comes out with Brown and talks about racism. He rants about how Brown is in this match because he’s black and Dreamer was in the Rumble last night because he’s right. Dreamer hits him to start but breaks his cane against the post. Brown takes over and hits him in the back with the cane while shouting 400 years. Oh this is just painful. Tommy hits him with the stick but jumps into a stick show and Low Down for the pin.

Rating: F. Let me give you a little preview of what this would turn into. Teddy would form the group Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises and add Rodney Mack, Jazz, Mark Henry and Christopher Nowitski. Mack would issue, and I quote, Five Minute White Boy Challenges, where any white boy had five minutes to beat him. Goldberg took him up on one. Just guess how well this went over.

Nathan Jones is coming.

Batista vs. Scott Steiner

They ram into the ropes but neither can get control. Steiner hits a belly to belly….and here’s Orton for the DQ. This might have lasted 90 seconds.

The soon to be Evolution destroys Steiner to end the show.

Overall Rating: R. As in revoked, which is what has happened to the requesting privileges of whomever asked me to do this thing. I knew Raw from 2003 was bad, but OH MY GOODNESS this was an abomination. We had 18 minutes spent on Sean Freaking Morely, HHH and Steiner talking, and then 12 minutes on Stacy Keibler being taken out. And somehow, this year WOULD GET WORSE. Just horrible all around.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2007
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another request here as WWE celebrates the fifteenth anniversary of Raw, somehow holding it a month before the fifteen year mark but whatever. This is a nostalgia show with some wrestling thrown in, which is my kind of Raw. This is one of the few shows I’ve been requested to do that I distinctly remember watching. Let’s get to it.

This is a three hour show by the way.

The opening video is a montage of all of the openings the show has had over the years. I can’t wait to get to some of those older shows. I’m 99% sure the theme was To Be Loved by Papa Roach at this point. And I’m right.

Here’s Vince to open things up. Oh and his kids are with him. Steph always looked great in business suits. The one thing you can never take away from Vince: when you hear him talking about his product, you can hear the indisputable love that he has for it. This man loves what he does and there’s no arguing it. Tonight there’s going to be a McMahon family portrait. Except for Linda because she isn’t here.

Vince introduces his kids as former Hardcore/European/Women’s Champions. The photographer comes in but here’s Hornswoggle to be in the portrait also. He basically humps Vince’s leg so Vince instructs Shane to get him off Vince’s leg. Vince says there’s no question that his kids are waiting for him to die. He says he loves his taller kids and kind of loves Horny. They get ready to take the picture, and here’s HHH.

HHH says the people are smart and he should be part of the family. It’s almost like he could be Vince’s son. “Sup Steph?” This is about a family portrait, and family is about those you love. Or have loved. Now in Vince’s case, that could mean a lot of people. HHH brings out some of the people that Vince has loved. Representing the current crop of Divas that he’s “loved”: Melina. Vince says he didn’t sleep with her. “Whatever Clinton.” Representing the past: Sunny. Not bad. Horny hugs her and guess what his face goes between.

Up next: the current Diva……MAE YOUNG??? After they finally control her, Vince has to try to explain these things. Vince says it was at Moolah’s funeral and he was very drunk. “I mean….I dusted the cobwebs off and….” That’s enough for Shane. HHH: “There goes the money.” Vince tries to explain it to Stephanie and says he was thinking of her mom at the time. The look on Steph’s face here cracked me up.

Oh but HHH isn’t done. These are the weird ones. He calls out any WWE employee that has been mistaken for a woman that Vince has attempted to love. Vince looks terrified. Here they come, of course to Stand Back. We have…..THE FINK??? Also Big Dick Johnson, Bastian Booger, Patterson and Brisco (I’m not going anywhere near that one) and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (baseball character whose identity I’ll reveal in a second).

HHH goes over the people that came down here. Patterson doesn’t surprise him. When he gets to Schwartz, “I guess the Brooklyn Brawler was busy tonight.” Stephanie sums up Vince as well as anything else can: “Dad, you’ve got serious problems.” But now it’s her turn to embarrass the family. She kisses HHH and Vince’s eyes bug out. HHH is like yeah, she went there. “Alright Steph. See you at home. Uh….uh….I mean your brother’s a gnome!” Vince in his Mr. McMahon evil voice: “I HATE YOU!”

Horny is sad and HHH says he wishes there was someone that could make it all better with the sound of his music. Cue THE GODFATHER as Horny gets to ride the Ho Train! JR: “Even Patterson looks happy!” This is what I love about anniversary shows: you get stuff like this that you only get like once every five years, and I’m not even a Godfather fan. This was one of the funniest opening segments I can ever remember. Just great.

Later tonight, Vince is going to announce the greatest star in Raw history. If you don’t know who that is, go read a book or something.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is defending. Oh and this is a ladder match. Jeff has a match with HHH on Sunday for the #1 contender spot. This is a go home show apparently. Carlito immediately goes for a ladder and blasts Jeff in the face with it. Jeff counters a climbing attempt with a Twist attempt but Carlito takes him down with a clothesline. Carlito charges but Jeff throws the ladder at him to shift control again.

They to the ladder bridge from the ring to the apron and it spears Jeff against the railing. Jeff knocks Carlito off the apron into the ladder with a crash. Here’s a fresh ladder and Hardy climbs but Carlito pulls a Shelton and springboards onto the ladder. A sunset bomb kills Jeff and both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Jeff missing the jump over the ladder legdrop.

Carlito works on the leg and moves the ladder to the middle of the ring. He crushes the leg between the ladder and brings in a second one. After slamming Jeff onto a ladder it’s time to climb but since it’s a ladder match, Carlito climbs slowly and Jeff pops up for a save. A chop block slows Jeff down but Carlito gets backdropped into the ladder. Swanton kind of almost hits so Jeff loads up a ladder for a Twist but Carlito counters into a Backstabber, which means just slamming his back into the ladder. They both climb, Jeff knocks him off and wins. Quick ending.

Rating: B-. This was perfectly fine. It’s not exactly a classic or anything, but considering this was a totally free ladder match, it’s really hard to complain. Both guys know how to use the ladders so this was a solid effort and a good way to get the crowd into the wrestling part of the show. Solid stuff.

Shawn says he was on the first Raw and he has no idea who he defended the IC Title against on the first Raw. He does however remember last week where there was a bunch of Shawn imposters and a Marty Jannetty imposter. Tonight, Kennedy gets the real Marty, who pops up for a second. Shawn makes fun of Kennedy’s catchphrase.

Here are some shocking moments, only some of which are shocking, such as 1-2-3 Kid beating Razor and the Tyson thing. Cena FU-ing Kevin Federline, not so much. There’s a kiss montage too. Plus some chair shots, fire, Val Venis and various other things. It ends with Vince being blown up. Honestly when he went out to the limo, I said that the limo was going to blow up.

Santino and his way too hot for him girlfriend Christy issues an open challenge.

Santino Marella vs. Rob Van Dam

40 seconds, Five Star ends it. This was a legit surprise. Other than a one off appearance in the 09 Rumble, he hasn’t been seen in WWE since that I can remember.

Evolution is having a reunion tonight. We get a video of their highlights.

Actually it’s right now. Here’s Flair, then HHH, Batista and finally Orton. Orton is the only heel here so he doesn’t want in. Batista is Smackdown Champion at this point. Orton is Raw Champion. He says Evolution wants to ride his coattails, and the last time he was in there he got beaten up. We get a clip of it too. Orton wants to be remembered as part of Rated RKO, and he brings out Edge. Flair wants to fight so Orton brings out Umaga and let’s have a six man.

Rated RKO/Umaga vs. Evolution

JR calls this the ultimate tag team explosion. Not quite but whatever. Joined in progress after a break with Flair coming in to face the freshly in Edge. Flair is in the whole “lose and you’re fired” period, but they’ve amended it to say that it’s only a singles loss that counts. Off to Umaga for a nerve hold and it’s Orton in again. Flair avoids a dropkick and there’s a tag to Batista. Everything breaks down and Edge takes a Bossman Slam. HHH and Batista hit stereo spinebusters on Rated RKO. Umaga comes in and shoves the referee for a DQ.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note but it wasn’t supposed to be. The wrestling here isn’t the point and it would be a mistake to treat it as one. This was about a quick Evolution reunion when most of them were still popular so it’s hard to complain about it. It’s not like 2003 where they were ALL you saw on Raw.

Rated RKO runs so Umaga gets beaten down.

More flashbacks, this time mainly involving cars and vehicles. To give you an idea of how bad the tenth anniversary was, the Austin beer truck thing was rated the #1 moment in the history of Raw. Let that sink in for a moment.

Horny bothers various women in the back like I think Molly (looking GOOD) and Mickie (looking GREAT). Regal comes in to save them so tonight it’s Horny vs. Khali. Oh and Finlay isn’t here tonight.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Since murder isn’t exactly PG, Hulk Hogan returns (in black to promote his new show American Gladiators) and saves him. It’s nostalgia abounding as Hogan beats up the monster (but doesn’t slam him) and runs him off. Khali got some shots in to make things interesting at least. I’m an old Hulkamaniac at heart so this has to make me smile a little. Hogan praises WWE and plugs American Gladiators, which I actually liked. This was fine.

More Flashbacks: D-X’s Greatest Hits. Ok they deserve their own segment, but this is old and new when only the old are needed.

Another Flashback:

Mr. Socko debuts. Austin pops up as a nurse and beats up Vince in the hospital bed. Austin anally raping Vince with an IV is kind of awesome.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?

Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7’s Gimmick Battle Royal.

BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.

Here’s a Flashback series on slaps. Linda slapping Steph is still great. As is Stephanie slapping Debra, but only because her chest looked GREAT in that blue halter top.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who starts to cry. Oh wait he’s lying and he’s tired of seeing the same stuff year after year. He reinvented wrestling and Vince stole his ideas. Eric demands applause so here’s the freshly returned Jericho to SAVE US. Yeah I know the joke is played already. Eric brings up the firing of Jericho about two years ago here on Raw. Jericho will never forget that but Jericho needed it because he was burned out. He’ll win on Sunday and he makes fun of Bischoff’s haircut. Eric makes fun of SAVE US and says Jericho should just forfeit. Jericho rhymes a bit and lays Bischoff out. Orton runs in and gets put in the Walls.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Dusty is out here too so you know this is going to be a title change. Cody’s team is challenging. Cade and Cody start us off as Dusty is at home talking a lot. He really was good at what he did and the one biggest thing about him: you can never say he was boring. He paid attention and had insight about EVERYTHING. Cody is very much a rookie here and after he gets beaten up for awhile it’s a double tag and Holly cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam gives Rhodes and Holly the titles. Dusty comes in to celebrate with them.

Flashbacks of celebrities in Raw history.

Flashbacks of the Divas. Man there are some good looking women on Raw’s history.

Jillian is here to plug her Christmas album, and for the life of me that became a hit in England. She starts a VERY slow rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas but here’s Trish to break that up. Trish says the album is really bad. Violence is teased but Lita comes out looking nice and thick instead of the freaky rail she used to be. She gets in Trish’s face but they take out Jillian because she won’t shut up. I said this back then and I’ll say it now: Trish vs. Lita is one of the best rivalries ever and seeing them staring each other down again was awesome.

Another flashback, this one on “comedy”. Your mileage may vary here, but stuff like Bang 3:16, Edge and Christian doing whatever and Angle/Austin are always great. Things that aren’t so great: the midgets and impressions. Also the Kevin Federline stuff. This is the third appearance of that on this show (yet Cena isn’t here).

HOWEVER, there is one bit on here that I watch when I’m feeling blue. Rock had just won I think his fifth title. Foley asked him how it felt to be champion again. Rock: “Well Mick….” Foley: “IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW IT FEELS!” Foley then takes a lap around the ring, pumping his fist and chanting his own name. Even Rock cracks up. Look it up. Youtube Mick Foley Gets The Rock. It’s great.

More comedy, again hit and miss.

Another Flashback, this one on weddings, including Lita and Kane. Lita is in the back and runs into Kane. They have one of my favorite Raw lines ever. Kane: “So uh….you seen any good movies lately?” It’s so awkward that it’s hilarious and Ron Simmons comes up to cap it off perfectly.

We run down the Armageddon card.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty

Kennedy was feuding with Shawn so he brought Jannetty in to get an idea of what Shawn would be like. Marty looks awful. He takes Kennedy down and the fans don’t seem that interested. Kennedy goes after the knee and hooks a half crab. A dragon screw leg whip gets two. Marty comes back with an enziguri and some rights. Kennedy walks into a Rocker Dropper but Marty goes up instead of covering. He gets taken down but grabs a sunset flip for two. Mic Check (doesn’t have a name yet) ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh this was what it was. It wasn’t going to be anything of note and I really don’t get why they bring Jannetty out every few years for this. I mean, Shawn has other friends over the years and the Rockers hadn’t teamed together regularly in what, fifteen years at this point? It doesn’t quite add up.

Shawn comes out for the save but gets caught so here’s HHH for the other save. HHH hands Shawn a DX shirt and it’s another reunion.

Here’s Vince to announce the biggest star in Raw history. And of course it’s him. He goes into an acceptance speech but Mankind comes out to protest. Now I’ve heard rumors that this wasn’t really him. He’s in the mask and doesn’t talk so who knows. Vince says Foley can leave so he gets the Claw. Mankind poses and here’s Taker. He chokeslams Vince then disappears.

And here’s Austin. It just wouldn’t be an anniversary without him. Austin does his usual schtick and gets a few beers. Vince is more or less dead in the ring. Austin lays down next to him and then scoots away because it was making him feel dirty. One of the beers pours out so Austin gets up and picks Vince up. After the toast, of course Vince gets a Stunner. Austin declares the greatest superstars of Raw to be the fans and brings out the locker room for a beer bash. Punk of course has a Pepsi. Regal, a recovering alcoholic, has a Coke. Vince finally wakes up so Austin punches him for old times’ sake to end this.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very entertaining show that I had a very good time with. If you were around for the Attitude Era and liked it, you’ll like this show. The wrestling was pretty limited here (although the ladder match was good) but if you were watching it for that, you missed the point entirely. This was a very fun show and I really enjoyed it. Check it out.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 25, 2001
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 13,763
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Ok so we’re past King of the Ring now and there are a few more developments. Benoit isn’t going to be back for over a year after having the injury angle last night that wrote him off after he hurt his neck in TLC 4. Edge is the new King of the Ring. Booker T has debuted, and Austin is still champion. Tonight something huge (well kind of huge at least) happens, so let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince immediately and he’s not happy. Austin talks about a rumor that said if Benoit or Jericho won the title, they would defect to WCW. Granted that’s not an issue because Austin is still champion so who cares? As for Booker T though, what does the T stand for? Maybe it means terrible, trash or Troglodyte. Or maybe tempo….I spelled Troglodyte right? I’m stunned. It might mean temporarily employed because all of WCW is going out of business. I thought they already did that.

No WCW star has any business being in MSG, because this is hallowed ground. We get a clip of Vince’s dad being inducted into the MSG Hall of Fame, complete with Todd Pettingil voiceover. This is more like a career retrospective on Vince Sr. and we hear various praise for him with Gorilla Monsoon getting the loudest pop. Oh this is his Hall of Fame induction video. Got it.

Vince guarantees more memorable MSG moments here tonight. That takes us to the theme song.

Brothers of Destruction vs. Dudleys for the titles tonight.

Hardcore Title: Test vs. Rhyno

Test had used the newly debuted Stacy to distract Rhyno into losing the title so this is Rhyno’s rematch. Rhyno starts out strong and hits a running shoulder in the corner. Out to the floor already as Rhyno looks for a weapon. They do a fairly nifty sequence with a trashcan resulting in Rhyno charting head first into it. The announcers talk about MSG instead but that’s probably more interesting anyway.

They go into the crowd and Test suplexes him onto a piece of a barricade to bend it in half. They go to the back now and Test tries to put him through some tables but Rhyno stops him. And never mind as Test puts him through them anyway with an elbow for two. There’s a cart involved but Test is backdropped onto the concrete. A quick Gore puts the title back on Rhyno.

Rating: D. If you’ve seen one of these, you’ve seen them all. Test was nothing of note but somehow he wound up with Stacy Keibler in real life and Stephanie on TV. The match was your usual I hit you, you hit me thing which is only so interesting when it’s not being played for comedy. Not much here.

What is much here is that Mike Awesome (with short hair) runs up the tunnel, hits Rhyno with a pipe and wins the title. That’s the first time a WCW wrestler has had a “match” in MSG ever to my knowledge, which is your historical thing I mentioned in the intro.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jeff Hardy vs. X-Pac

Jeff is 23 here. I’m 23 now so that makes me shake my head. Things speed up very quickly to start and the fans are all over Pac. They do some flips and Jeff fires off a baseball slide to take over. He loads up Whisper in the Wind but Pac kicks him off the top and into the barricade. Pac counters a rana into a powerbomb for two. This is a rematch from last night. A dropkick knocks X-Pac out of the air and here comes Jeff. Bronco Buster meets boot but the Swanton misses and some feet on the ropes give Pac the title.

Rating: C+. Fun old school Cruiserweight style match here with both guys flying all over the place. Jeff was fun to watch when he was on and he was on around this time. Unfortunately they put him back into the Hardy Boys and while they were good, it was kind of a step back for them at this point.

Vince freaks out and tells Austin he was raped by WCW. Austin basically tells him to get over it because he kept the WWF Title here on his own and Vince wasn’t there when Austin needed him. Vince: “How are you?” Austin: “YOU DON’T EVEN CARE!” Vince: “I care.” Austin: “Promise?” They hug and Debra looks like she can’t find a divorce soon enough.

Video on some of the best moments and performers in MSG history, with this one being about Sammartino.

Big Show hits on Trish. This is disturbing.

Vince, Austin and Debra share a vegetable plate. Kurt comes in to a pop and Vince congratulates him for his victory last night. Angle says he’s banged up but he’ll make it. Austin FREAKS and Vince tries to smooth things over with the offer of carrots. Angle sits but won’t have any right now. This is hilarious stuff.

Billy Graham is the next Garden Classic.

Tazz vs. Steven Richards

Richards doesn’t like New York so here’s Tazz to kill him. Lasts 20 seconds, Tazmission. Taz is just MAD over in New York.

Regal and Tajiri have a trophy for Edge. It looks like the Stanley Cup.

Angle has loosened up and is having some vegetables. Austin and Vince have a pow wow and Austin wants Kurt out. The idea is he’s jealous of Vince playing with someone else. Angle: “Hey Steve you want a carrot?” Angle compares their careers and says they could be related. Austin looks like he could break a moose in half. Angle has some celery. These two had some awesome chemistry together when Angle was playing the simpleton.

Time for the King of the Ring coronation ceremony. Regal isn’t thrilled to be in New York but he brings out Edge who won the tournament last night. Regal suggests a five second pose but Tajiri gets in it somehow. Christian takes the trophy and gives an acceptance speech for some reason. He talks about how he had to face harder competition (which is true) and Edge doesn’t sound thrilled.

Now it’s time for Edge’s speech and he welcomes us to a new Era: the Era of AWESOMENESS. And here’s Billy Gunn because he has to be here whenever this tournament is brought out. He whines about never getting to be able to defend his crown but instead had to be at WWF New York. This is heel Billy which is even more annoying.

Edge is talentless apparently but congratulations anyway. Edge says Billy sucks and blows at the same time. Edge asks Billy for a favor: if he’s not on the card in 2003 and just has to host at WWF New York, please shoot him in the head. Edge promises not to Billy Gunn the title, because he’ll actually be entertaining. A match is proposed and made. Basically a face turn for Edge.

Garden Classic: the Alley Fight with Patterson vs. Slaughter. It’s called a boot camp match here but I’ve never heard it called that before. Either way, find it as it’s one of the best brawls you’ll ever see.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Undertaker/Kane

Sara comes out with Taker now. The champs are quickly knocked to the floor and the beating is on. Bubba vs. Taker officially starts us off and there’s Old School already. Off to D-Von and the champs hit the double team neckbreaker for two. Off to Kane for more beating. He’s IC Champion here. Kane beats them up on his own (the tag champions remember) and there’s the top rope clothesline for two. Everything breaks down and here’s Albert to Baldo Bomb Kane so D-Von can pin him. Too short to rate but it was basically a squash. Albert won the IC Title on Smackdown.

Bubba takes a chokeslam post match as Kane goes after Albert. And then Page pops up to blast taker with a chair. Page takes Sara down and steals hair extensions.

Regal is ticked off about WCW and in particular…..Jericho…..for rumors saying he might defect if he won the title…..which he didn’t. His punishment is a match with Tajiri. Ok then.

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Big Show

Trish comes out with Show at the potential promise of a European vacation. Matt has to dodge and move here and chooses to work on the arm. That gets him sent to the floor, where Show hits the post. All Big Show anyway as he drops Matt on the barricade. Trish kisses Matt for some reason, prompting Lita to rip her top off. Show goes after Lita who hits Show low to protect herself. That’s a DQ win for Show in a match too short to rate, but it was basically a squash up until then.

Saturn and Terri are at WWF New York but Shane invades it. Shane talks about how WCW isn’t on TV because of Vince. You know, instead of the losing a million bucks a week for a year. Therefore, since they can’t get on TV, it’s time for an invasion of the WWF. He calls Booker over and it amazes me how different Booker was in just a few months. This is the one that was the only guy in WCW that got over for like two years before they went under and was a guy that could have been awesome. He calls out Austin and I’d love to see that feud, instead of what we got, which is Booker the bumbling idiot.

Vince and Austin are all fired up and since they’re both in New York City, Vince says Austin should go fight Booker right now. Austin recruits Angle as backup.

The APA starts the war effort with guys like…..Funaki and Steve Blackman and Essa Rios. If you can’t see why this is the biggest bomb in wrestling history, I’ve failed at my job.

Garden Classic: Snuka dives off the cage which apparently inspired EVERY WRESTLER EVER to be a wrestler.

Edge vs. Billy Gunn

Fast paced stuff to start but Billy heads to the floor. Baseball slide puts him down and a missile dropkick gets two back inside. Billy hits a spinebuster for no cover. Out to the floor with Billy in control. There’s a guy in the crowd doing a Hogan impression and since we’re watching a Billy Gunn match, the fans cheer for Hogan.

Edge spears him down and makes a comeback until Christian accidentally hits him. Billy gets two off a rollup and Jackhammers Edge for two. There’s a boring chant. Who thought giving BILLY GUNN a long match in 2001 was a good idea? Billy loads up the Fameasser but Christian comes in with a backbreaker so Edge can Impale Billy for the pin.

Rating: F+. And 99% of that is for Gunn. What in the world were they thinking by pushing him OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? I mean he just kept getting time on TV and less and less people cared every time until he owed the people some caring for the interest getting so low. Terribly uninteresting match and the crowd turned on it. Why is Edge facing Billy Gunn anyway? He beat Kurt Angle last night to win the King of the Ring and now he’s got Billy Gunn?

Austin is caught in traffic and doesn’t like it. Angle is a dork. This is all on the phone with Debra.

Classic Garden: the first Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho vs. Tajiri

Jericho says he’s taking out his aggression on Tajiri. They start off fast, which would be normal speed for everyone else. Jericho looks for the Walls but gets kicked in the head for his luck. Superkick (kind of) and a spinwheel kick get two for Tajiri. Octopus has Chris in trouble and Tajiri kicks a lot. A missile dropkick gets two. Jericho comes back with some clotheslines for two. Regal takes a baseball slide and Tajiri gets caught in the double powerbomb. Regal comes in and beats up Jericho but takes the mist in the face. Lionsault ends this.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here. Tajiri was pretty much wasted in WWE as they used him as a comedy character who couldn’t speak English (and finally got a translator with like a week to go before he left) and that’s about it. Fun match though as they let two guys with talent go and it worked as it should have.

Austin and Vince have a plan or something.

We get a shot from WWF New York where Austin and Angle go in…and there’s no Shane or Booker. OH NO! WHO WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING??? Austin: “Booker said he wanted to axe me something. AN AX IS SOMETHING YOU CHOP A TREE DOWN WITH!” Booker and Shane come out, Booker destroys Vince (loosest use of that word ever) and the APA comes out with their army to save him and end the show. Yep that’s it.

Overall Rating: C+. Decent show but not as good as last week with us reaching the Invasion full bore. This never worked at all because Vince couldn’t let anything work on its own pace and the whole thing was wrapped up in like 5 months instead of in like 3 years as it easily could have been. Still though, decent show but it would go downhill after a brief pick up soon.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2001
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,264
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the go home show for King of the Ring and that’s about all we’ve got for that show. The tournament gets set tonight I think and we have a main event, but other than that I don’t remember anything being made for the card. The Invasion would get its first big name at that PPV though, so at least there’s that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is from Smackdown with Austin trying to get a petition together to present to Linda that says the triple threat is unfair. Spike ripped it up when Austin called Molly a bimbo, resulting in Spike getting a world title shot.

Dudleys/Austin vs. Canadians/Spike later. Now this is where things get confusing. That’s what the graphic says, but JR says it’s just Dudleys vs. Canadians for the titles. Oh boy. I wonder who’s getting fired over this one. Now the Dudleys would indeed get a title match later this week on Smackdown (and they’d win the belts), but that’s not what we saw on the screen.

We open with Spike and Molly of all people. Spike talks about how he’s shocked to have been in this ring and gotten to wrestle for the WWF Title and that could have been his moment in the sun. However, Austin had to go after Molly after that, so Spike calls out Austin. Heyman’s reaction is very funny.

Austin and Spike introduce themselves and Austin says he’s not going to be called out by someone like Spike. Spike says he just did and Austin starts to walk away. Spike asks the fans and they want to see it for the title. Austin still says no but says Spike has guts. No one else would, but Molly is still a bimbo. Spike: “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Molly slaps Austin and Heyman erupts. Austin looks….happy? That earned Molly respect so Austin sticks his hand out. Spike shakes it and Austin pulls him but doesn’t attack. Molly however gets a Stunner though.

During the break, the Dudleys didn’t seem mad.

Molly is getting looked at and the Dudleys show up. They praise Spike for standing up for himself. However, they want to know what’s wrong with a picture when Spike has been here three months and has gotten a title shot while they’ve gotten zero in a year and a half. Spike says he’ll do something about it.

Now the graphic says the titles are on the line in the main event. Interesting.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

This would be a TNA PPV main event today, almost 11 years later. Angle snaps off a quick German and Jeff is in trouble. He goes after the leg but Jeff speeds things up and we go to the floor where Jeff runs the railing into a clothesline. Angle hits the release German this time but the Slam is countered. A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Kurt rolls away before Jeff jumps. The moonsault is as gorgeous as ever but Kurt misses, allowing Jeff to hit the Swanton for two. Jeff goes up but gets pulled down into the ankle lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. What the heck was that??? Jeff Hardy is a midcard guy on his best day in 2001 but this was AWESOME. Well, awesome all things considered. I mean it was just a three minute match but they cranked out a very fun match here, especially when you consider where Jeff was on the ladder at this point. Jeff’s best match ever might have been with Kurt in 2010 so this isn’t really shocking.

Austin needs someone to talk to who understands him. His wife, Debra, volunteers. Austin: “I said someone that understands me.” Debra says understands about titles because she used to be champion. Austin laughs and Debra is hurt.

Tajiri and Regal are talking about the tournament which Tajiri is in when Austin enters. Spike asked for a match with him and Regal made the aforementioned six man, saying the title match will wait for tomorrow. Austin says he’ll do it but he needs someone to talk to and he picks….Tajiri? Regal is confused but goes along with it and leaves.

Tough Enough commercial. Josh Matthews is I believe the only one left from that season.

Tazz, one of the Tough Enough trainers, says that there’s a preview at WWF New York. Hardcore Holly comes up to make fun of him and a match is made.

Kane is at WWF New York…and he’s playing a crane game to win prizes. He doesn’t win so he breaks the glass and steals a bunch which he gives to a kid. You know, I watched a Raw earlier today and Kane was about to win the world title from Austin. The last thing I expected him to do was play a crane game to win prizes. Just throwing that out there.

We recap the Undertaker’s wife stalker thing with Sara being stalked. That’s about it.

Taz vs. Hardcore Holly

The entrances are cut off by a new stalker video of the stalker watching Taker and his wife leaving their house. She almost comes into what I guess is a garage where he is but doesn’t. The voice says tonight he’ll reveal himself. Back to the match. Holly starts out fast with his usual stuff and drops a top rope leg for two. Taz comes back but walks into a powerslam. And there’s the Tazmission out of nowhere to end this.

Austin explains how Linda McMahon is ruining his life. Tajiri replies in Japanese as Austin rants against women. Austin thanks him for the talk and bows to him. Regal comes in and says that Tajiri is up next. Funny stuff at least.

Christian isn’t happy that he has to face Big Show and teases tension with Edge. Angle breaks it up.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

The winner gets the winner of Edge vs. Saturn. Lillian sounded a step off on the announcing for some reason. Rhyno takes over with power but Tajiri ranas him down and they go to the floor. Back in a spinebuster gets two for Rhyno. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow which is always cool. There’s an Octopus Hold which he shifts into the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick misses and Rhyno powerbombs him half through the ring. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Tajiri KICKS HIS FREAKING HEAD OFF to counter. Tajiri goes up for some reason but jumps into a Gore for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not as good as the opener but that ending was very good stuff. There’s something awesome about seeing Tajiri just kick the tar out of people and also seeing Rhyno blast someone with a Gore. This was very entertaining and the show is on a roll to start so far.

Post break Regal GOES OFF on Regal. I mean there’s a vein coming out of his head.

Here’s Taker…..or not. It’s the Stalker as Taker is in Houston. He immediately unmasks and it’s Diamond Dallas Page to an ERUPTION. Yep they’re cheering a crazy stalker. He says Taker never saw this coming, just like a Diamond Cutter. Page talks about doing this because he wanted to make an impact, so he went after the biggest dog in the yard.

A few weeks ago, Taker went off on Austin for mentioning Taker’s family. Taker said he’d make Austin famous if he tried that. “You idiot, Steve Austin is already famous!” He says Taker is a liar for some reason so he wants to be famous and he wants to use Taker to get him there. He’ll be at King of the Ring. Security chases him off. Ross tries to tie it into the Invasion but it only kind of works.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Edge vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn is nuts still. We get a clip from a double date on Thursday and Saturn took another shot to the head. See it’s funny because he has brain damage and might go psycho and murder his wife and children before killing himself. Get it? Saturn starts fast and pops Christian but walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is in control but Saturn grabs a crucifix for two. Edge goes up but jumps into a belly to belly suplex. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. Christian gets kicked in the face and the Impaler ends Saturn.

Rating: D+. Not great but WAY down from what we had been seeing so far tonight. Edge would be about to start his singles push which didn’t really stop for the rest of his career. Saturn just kept getting hit in the face until he found a mop that he liked better than Terri and that was about it.

Vince arrives, over halfway through the show.

Foley was on Regis and…..Tony Danza?

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Albert

Albert was in the middle of pretty much the push of his life and he runs over Matt to start. A splash misses though and Matt can keep hitting and running. Matt jumps into a gorilla press attempt which he escapes and hits a running tornado DDT for two. Paul: “Albert is the Rabbi of Retribution.” JR: “Oy vey.” Albert destroys him until he chokes too long for a DQ. Weak.

Pac and Credible run in and hit a double superkick. Jeff runs in and takes them both down. Lita hits the usual gorgeous top rope rana. Albert gets back in it and destroys everyone.

Vince is with Austin and Austin feels good. Austin is getting in touch with his feelings and Vince isn’t wild on it. Austin rants about the divorce and says pick Austin or Linda.

During the break Vince left.

Spike thanks the Canadians for helping Molly last week. Benoit goes off on him, talking about how this wasn’t about him at all. And then they crack up laughing.

Edge and Rhyno get into an argument over who should be #1 contender if they win the tournament. Christian comes in and whines again.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Christian

Angle is on commentary. Christian jumps him and just guess how well that goes. Edge tries to interfere which goes about as well. Show destroys him but they go to the announce table and Angle gets shoved for running his mouth. An Angle distraction allows the Conchairto to end Show and Christian puts all of Team RECK in the final four.

Steve Austin/Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Jericho vs. Bubba to start things off. Ray uses power to start but runs into the speed of Jericho. Off to Benoit and D-Von and the Canadian hits a German on the Dudley. Spike comes in with a double stomp and a rana to have D-Von in trouble. Here comes Austin to pound on Spike. Things finally calm down as Spike remembers he’s Spike and Austin remembers he’s Austin and the beating begins.

Austin calls for some tables but isn’t happy when they come out for some reason. Back to Bubba after Austin freaks due to getting rolled up for two. Bubba loads up What’s Up and both Austin and D-Von go up at the same time. That’s rather awesome. The middle rope backsplash misses and there’s the tag to Benoit. Everything breaks down and D-Von is sent through a table by Jericho.

Dudley Dog to Bubba and it’s time for the Canadian to hit Rolling Germans on the American. The Swan Dive misses though and Austin takes over. A Dudley Dog attempt results in Spike going through a table and Austin grabs a chair. Jericho comes back in for the save and we get the insanely awesome Walls of Crossface double submission to make Austin tap. Hebner asks about 4 times before calling for the bell.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a six man main event and most importantly, it made Jericho and Benoit look like a legit threat for the championship. Until then it was a bunch of fluke victories in tag matches. This was good stuff though as Austin looked like he was about to snap in that double hold.

Overall Rating: B. With all of the good to very good matches tonight, this was a pretty awesome Raw. Throw in that with the comedy from Austin and Vince and how can you go wrong? The DDP thing would be pretty underwhelming on Sunday but that’s life. Also very little mention of Angle vs. Shane, but the focus was on the tournament so that’s ok. Good show here.

Here’s King of the Ring if you’re interested:

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