Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2001
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Vengeance and the star of the show is still Vince. The main events for the show are set and that’s really all that matters for the PPV. Seriously I have no idea what else is going on with the show because the company hasn’t bothered to tell us. This show absolutely has to be better than last week’s though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Jericho to open the show. He says that he can win the big one and he’s going to do that on Sunday. Jericho doesn’t like that Austin and Rock have basically decided they’re meeting for the Undisputed Title because they’re overlooking Angle and himself. Jericho doesn’t like Austin very much and the disrespect is going to end on Sunday when he wins the title.

Cue Flair and Jericho says it must be an honor for Flair to be in the ring with him. Flair asks if it’s Jericho or Y2J. Jericho would prefer to be called Mr. Jericho. Flair doesn’t think Jericho can win the big one because he didn’t see Jericho beat the Rock. Naitch makes Austin vs. Jericho in a non-title match later. Shorter segment here but it sets up a match and there was no Vince, making it better than anything last week.

Rock is here.

Kane vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba charges at him but gets slugged and backdropped down. Kane and Show face the Dudleys on Sunday for the titles. Stacy tries to distract Kane which doesn’t work at all. D-Von gets in some shots to Kane, allowing Bubba to hit a side slam for no cover. Middle rope splash misses and it’s clothesline and chokeslam for the pin. Basically a squash.

The Dudleys hit the 3D on Kane but Show saves. When was this match announced? Smackdown I guess?

Vince is on the phone with Taker and the big man won’t be here tonight. Angle comes in and feels awful about what Rock did to Vince on Thursday. Angle has a plan for revenge but we don’t hear it.

Albert vs. Test

Scotty is on commentary and therefore getting on my nerves. This is your standard power match: Albert hits Test, Test hits Albert, Test takes over. Albert fires off some right hands but Test suplexes him down. The elbow off the top is broken up by a slam and Albert punches away some more. Test knocks him down again but Scotty gets on the apron for a distraction. After the Wormy one is taken down, Albert hits the bicycle (Brogue) kick for tow. Test takes him down again and goes for a chair. Scotty disarms him and blasts Test with said chair before the Baldo Bomb gets the pin for Albert.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than Test being his usual self. Albert (now known as Tensai in case the chants didn’t make sense to you) has never been exactly interesting but he is what he is: a big bald monster who beats people up. Why they made him a hip hop hippo here is beyond me but at least they made him a wrecking ball again soon.

Trish (looking GREAT here) is looking for Rock. She finds Crash instead and we see why he was used for over the top comedy instead of chatter.

RVD doesn’t get why Undertaker hates him. Christian comes up and makes fun of him by saying he’s not better than Taker. RVD suggests a title for title match but Christian won’t put the European Title up. Oh and the capital of Belgium isn’t Waffles.

Trish finds Rock and thanks him for saving her from Vince. She kisses Rock on the cheek and Rock is taken aback. He says he’ll say you’re welcome, and proceeds to give her a kiss that most movies with they could pull off. The arena ERUPTS and Rock gives the eyebrow. This worked perfectly and didn’t come off as goofy at all.

Hardy Boys vs. Tajiri/Spike Dudley

Spike and Jeff start and the idea here is again about the Hardys having problems. Jeff tries the sitout gordbuster but his head messes up. Must be that cheap cocaine tonight. Off to Tajiri who gets caught in a move the Hardys used called the Spin Cycle, which was basically a double rolling belly to back suplex. Jerry talks about Lita’s rack while Jeff is caught in the Tarantula. The Hardys get in another argument and Matt almost gets rolled up for the pin but it’s just a two. Not that it matters as Matt hits the legdrop but Jeff tags himself in for the Swanton and the pin. This was nothing again other than storyline advancement.

The APA makes fun of Regal for kissing up to Vince. Bradshaw vs. Regal is made for later.

The Hardys argue again and Jeff is tired of being pushed around. Lita tries to intervene and gets shoved down again.

Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Non-title again. Austin pounds away before he even takes his vest off. They head to the floor and Jericho gets knocked into the crowd. All Austin so far. Austin fires off some HARD chops and they head back inside where Jericho gets in some stomps. Jericho chops away but Austin shrugs them off and chops Jericho back. Both guys try Stunners but Austin knocks him down and puts the Walls on Jericho. We’re three minutes into this now and Jericho has been on offense for about 6 seconds.

Jericho goes shoulder first into the post but fires off a low blow and enziguri to give himself a breather. We reach about 45 seconds of total offense before the Thesz Press takes Jericho down. Jericho sends Austin’s shoulder into the post and then to the floor where Austin is sent into various metal objects. Austin fires off a clothesline but gets sent into the post again. Back in and there’s the Thesz Press but Jericho trips Austin up as he dismounts. The Walls go on but are quickly broken and the Stunner gets the clean pin.

Rating: C-. So yeah, we’ve got Jericho on the verge of being one of four potential world champions and he just got beat 100% clean by Austin six days beforehand. When he wins the title on Sunday, is it any wonder why he was considered a weak champion and that his first title reign went nowhere at all? This was just a step above a squash for Austin and he was never in any real danger at all.

Booker is hot wiring Austin’s truck in the parking lot.

Here are Vince and Angle to talk about Rock. Angle demands that the people respect Vince and gets the WHAT treatment. We get a clip of Vince disrobing in front of Trish before Rock saved her. Angle rants about Rock and references anal rape for some reason. He demands an apology and here’s Rock to give one. Rock runs his mouth a bit but Vince calls him an ingrate.

Vince rambles so Rock says he’ll come and slap the toupee off his head if the sick freak doesn’t get to it. Vince finally does get to the point: it’s Angle/Vince vs. Rock/Trish. If Rock/Trish lose, Rock has to join Vince’s club. If he won’t do it, he’s out of the tournament. Flair comes out and says if Vince’s team loses, Vince has to kiss Rock. If he refuses, Angle is out of the tournament. Flair and Rock do each others’ catchphrases.

Hardcore Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is sent to the floor but he pulls off a backdrop from the apron to send Christian to the floor. There’s the spinning legdrop to the back for two and we head back inside where Christian gets the same on the reverse DDT into the backbreaker. A powerslam gets another near fall for Christian and it’s off to some choking. The Canadian wedges a chair between the top and middle rope but gets kicked down for his efforts.

A kick puts Christian into the corner and Rob skateboards the chair into Christian’s face for two. Rolling Thunder onto the chair doesn’t work, BECAUSE HE’S LANDING ON THE CHAIR. Reverse DDT puts Van Dam down and it’s Conchairto time. Since that would put Van Dam on the shelf for a long time, Van Dam blocks it and hits a quick Five Star for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Just filler here but man alive Van Dam was being wasted here. The guy was way over and these random Hardcore Title defenses aren’t giving him anything at all. He just beat the European Champion and it’s another day at the office for him. Christian would get a lot better in the next few years of course but here, RVD was way ahead of him.

William Regal vs. Bradshaw

This is still during the phantom brass knuckles stage for Regal so if you don’t see the ending coming here, I can’t help you. There’s about 50 seconds before the knuckles shot and then it’s over. Fill in the blank spot with whatever basic and generic offense from either guy you want.

Taz pops up on screen from WWF New York and talks (and flubs lines) long enough for Edge to run in and beat up Regal. They’re fighting at the PPV.

Austin Desire video.

Angle and Vince talk about kissing mens’ rectums.

Trish Stratus/The Rock vs. Vince McMahon/Kurt Angle

Why is Jerry always so shocked that Vince is ripped? Rock and Angle start things off and a Vince distraction gives Angle the advantage. Rock grabs a legsweep for two and shrugs off some punches to hit a Samoan Drop for two. A belly to belly throw sends Angle into the corner and he accidentally tags Vince. Vince immediately tags out and Rock gets suplexed down again. Now Vince comes in and we get the old technique of cutting the camera at every moment of contact of the punches from Vince.

Vince knocks Trish to the floor to really prove he’s evil. Well he has to after doing the incredibly popular stripping. Trish gets back up as Vince gets slammed down. There’s the tag to Trish who beats the tar out of Vince, which I don’t think he’s complaining about for the most part. She goes to hit Vince low but Angle shoves her down. Trish hits Angle low and there’s the hot tag to Rock.

He cleans house and hits the DDT on Angle for two but accidentally clotheslines the referee down. Angle Slam gets no count and here’s Jericho for a Lionsault on Rocky. That eventually gets two and now it’s time for Vince to go after Trish. He chases her up the ramp, likely from attempted rape, and there’s Austin. He beats up Vince because that’s what Steve Austin does, before clotheslining Angle onto the top rope. Rock Bottom gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but man this Vince stuff is creepy. I don’t mean it makes him evil. I mean it’s CREEPY. We have Trish running away from a man that is obsessed with shoving her face onto his body. That’s freaking WEIRD and I really don’t want to know what goes on inside Vince’s psyche. The match was fine.

Vince and Angle argue to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Other than the tournament matches, I defy you to name two matches on Sunday. Also at the end of the day, they’ve made it seem impossible for anyone but Austin or Rock to win the title, because they’ve done a great job at making Angle and Jericho look like total jokes. Like I said: guess who wins the thing and then became a lame duck as a result.

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/26/vengeance-2001-they-picked-vengeance-to-unite-the-titles-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2001
Location: The Myriad, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well after last week we’re in a brand new era for WWE as we have Vince and Flair as co-owners of the company. Vince had his mind blown to end Raw last week and Austin is now the top good guy again. This sets us up for Vengeance but we need a concept for that. I wonder if we could think of something that would get people to watch while at the same time throwing away what could have been the main event of Wrestlemania at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from earlier today with Vince coming in to see Flair. Flair yells at him for what Vince said about him on Smackdown. Apparently Vince put Jericho in a handicap match and made Austin get a 5-1 beatdown. Vince says he’ll make it up to him.

After the theme song, here are Vince and Angle. Vince gets right to the chase and says that someone else is joining his club tonight. But first, Kurt has something to say. Angle talks about dominating the sandbox and then the Boy Scouts. Then in high school he was the toughest kid in Glee Club and the prom king. Then he got a full ride to Clarion University and graduated Magna Cum Laude. Then he dominated the Olympics and the WWF. He says he’ll win the title at Vengeance and I begin to chuckle.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Austin beating up both guys. Then on Thursday everyone got together and beat Austin down, led by Regal. Vince doesn’t think Austin wants to go through another war with him, so instead tonight Austin will be joining Vince’s special club.

Regal, Christian, Test and the Dudleys, the five guys that beat Austin down, find this hilarious. Regal says Austin is going to try to take all of them out so they should stick together. Flair comes in and says they’re all in matches tonight. If anyone interferes in another match, they’re suspended. Austin isn’t allowed to interfere either.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Jeff starts with a quick mule kick but he tries a flip and staggers on the landing. Apparently he’s lightheaded. Gee I wonder why. Christian stomps on the head and here’s Matt for moral support. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker but Christian rolls away before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff sets to dive to the floor but Matt gets in his way because it’s too dangerous. Christian posts Matt, sending Jeff crashing off the top, allowing Christian to steal the pin to retain. Short but it was about the Hardys and not the match.

Post break Matt yells at Jeff. Jeff yells back about who is smarter. Lita is told to shut up.

Hardcore Title: D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and D-Von is a tag champion. D-Von immediately hits him with a stop sign, which in real life would be grounds for near death but here it puts Van Dam down for about 6 seconds. D-Von goes to the floor where Van Dam moonsaults him for two. Back inside and D-Von hits a big powerbomb to take Van Dam down for no cover.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Van Dam down but again Rob won’t sell very long and superkicks D-Von down. Rob goes up but get neckbreakered down onto a chair for a delayed two. Van Dam goes up but gets crotched again. Sell that? Nah. Instead he shoves D-Von off the ropes and hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: C-. Van Dam’s non selling was really annoying but D-Von’s offense looked good. I always liked him better than Bubba but Bubba has about 10,000x more personality so Bubba got the probably better deserved push. Anyway, the match was fine given that it lasted about three and a half minutes and was a forgone conclusion.

Regal needs to go to the bathroom and Christian (after translating Regal’s European) and company agree to go with him. Bubba: “I ain’t holding nothing!”

Edge’s Creed Desire video.

The four guys all go to the restroom at once and Big Show is in there too. Regal is scared by D-Von coming in and….uh…..goes on Show. I think you know where this is going.

Stacy says nothing of note.

Lawler has a telestrator (the pen on the screen) of what just happened.

Women’s Title: Stacy Keibler vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties match with Trish defending. What exactly are you expecting here? Stacy can’t wrestle and is in high heels. Stacy is wearing a thong and takes Trish’s top off. Trish takes Stacy’s top off but the Stratusfaction is broken up. Stacy stands on Trish’s hair but gets rolled up and has her skirt/shorts takes off to lose the match. Next. Oh and Trish pins Stacy for absolutely no apparent reason.

Here’s Rock because we need more time spent on talking/not wrestling tonight. Rock says he’ll be the first undisputed champion after Vengeance. He talks about how great he is and thinks it should be Rock vs. Austin for the undisputed title. But they’re just the world champions right now so why bother doing that? I mean, WE HAVE TO DO THIS BY VENGEANCE, so we don’t have time to waste on setting up a big match right? Rock imitates Vince which goes nowhere and is only somewhat funny.

FINALLY Jericho comes out to interrupt this. Rock is usually awesome but dang this was a miss for him so far. Jericho brags about beating Rock with the Rock Bottom before saying there’s a weakness in himself. That weakness was caring about the fans and what they thought of him. Caring about them never got him anywhere though, which is true actually. Now he’s larger than life and he’s going to beat Rock at Vengeance to become Undisputed Champion. Rock says he’ll win and that’s about it. This somehow took almost ten minutes, which is longer than any match tonight will be or has been.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge is champion coming in. Edge immediately goes up to the middle rope for a clothesline for two but Test knees him in the ribs to take over. A clothesline in the corner gets two but Edge comes back with that half nelson face first slam of his. The spinwheel kick takes Test down and Edge takes over. The big boot from Test misses but the Edgecution is blocked. Test powerbombs Edge down and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A pumphandle slam and powerbomb from Test are both countered so Edge loads up the spear which hits the referee for the ultra lame DQ.

Rating: D+. Freaking TEST can’t lose clean here? Seriously? What in the world was the point of this? Edge wouldn’t face Test at the PPV and it’s not like Edge had to do something to get disqualified because he wasn’t going to win. I don’t get this one at all and the match wasn’t any good on top of that.

Test gets a chair but Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert come out for the save, which set up a worthless tag at the PPV which Edge had nothing to do with.

Angle is curious about which cheek Austin is going to have to kiss tonight. Regal comes in and tries to get out of his match with Big Show. Vince offers Regal some advice which we can’t hear. This REALLY needed its own segment didn’t it?

Big Show vs. William Regal

Regal knocks Show off the apron because William Regal is a real man’s man. Nothing of note happens for about 40 seconds until Booker T comes in (wasn’t he fired because of Survivor Series?), allowing Regal to use the knucks on Show for the pin. Another minute long match that served no purpose at all. Oh and if you couldn’t guess: nope, this didn’t set up Booker vs. Big Show at the PPV.

Taker comes in to see Vince and he’s not happy. Vince says he cares about Undertaker and says he’s done nothing but respect Taker that whole time. Oh…..Vince is a lying son of a gun. He says Taker owes him. Vince is a lot taller than I thought he was. Either that or he’s standing on a box. Basically Vince says do something for him or get fired and not get to beat people up anymore. This also takes like two minutes somehow.

Lance Storm is mopping floors at WWF New York.

WWF had a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Oh never mind as Flair comes out to make it a tag match. Now the logical move would be to add Austin to this so you can have the four guys in the tournament in the same match. That would be the logical move though.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock/Kane

Big brawl to start with Rock getting double teamed in the ring. Angle hits a big German and starts with the Great One. Off to Jericho who fires off some Flair chops in the corner, only to get punched in the face for his efforts. Jericho bulldogs him down for two and it’s back to Kurt. Rock suplexes Angle down and makes the tag to Kane who calls back to back spots very loudly.

A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two so here’s Angle instead. Jericho breaks up a chokeslam with a missile dropkick and things break down enough for Kane to get double teamed. A double suplex gets two on the big fried freak and it’s back to Jericho again. That goes nowhere so Angle comes in to get powerslammed, allowing Kane to bring in Rock to face Jericho. There’s the Sharpshooter on Jericho but Angle saves, only to get clotheslined down by Kane. Jericho loads up a Rock Bottom but Rock counters into a DDT for the clean pin. Yep, just a DDT.

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they were going with the old formula of “have a guy lose over and over and over until he wins a shocker and now you need to respect him because those losses are completely forgotten somehow.” Nothing to see here other than a short (seven minutes, nearly double the second longest match of the night) main event tag.

Jericho takes the Rock Bottom post match because he couldn’t lose to that in the match for whatever reason. Angle saves Jericho from a chair shot because why would you want one of the people standing in the way of being Undisputed Champion to get hurt?

Vince talks to the five heels that have been around all night and says Austin will indeed kiss him. Regal gives Vince some Chapstick.

Austin has apparently had about 15 beers tonight.

Here’s Vince to close the show. Vince tells everyone that they would do the same thing Austin would do and they all know it. Cue Austin and Vince is WAY too excited about this. He wants Austin on his knees so Austin says WHAT a lot. Vince says the war won’t have to start if Austin just does this so Austin has some more beer. Austin wants to bury the hatchet so there go Vince’s pants. First of all, Vince gives him Chapstick and mouthwash. Remember people, we couldn’t have a match make it to seven and a half minutes but we’re at eight with this.

Austin gets on his knees and asks for one of Vince’s tricks. He asks Vince if he uses toilet paper and then low blows Vince. Naturally Vince, with his pants down, gets whipped by a belt. How has Linda’s Senate opponent not gotten his hands on this tape yet? The five guys plus Angle come out and brawl to the back with Austin but we still have like eight minutes left.

Angle stays in the ring with Vince and JR gets caught laughing. We’re in Oklahoma City so you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Angle goes and gets JR to throw him into the ring. Vince says he’s going to make JR kiss it instead but as Angle is forcing him down, here’s Taker for the save. Taker gets the mic and lists off all the people that have come and gone (including Savage and Bret who were somewhat taboo names at this point) and they all kissed up to Vince.

More than anyone else though, Taker did it. He’s put up with Vince for years now and wants to know if JR was going to do it. JR says no, and Taker asks does that mean you think you’re better than me. A big right hand takes JR down and we have a heel turn. Did I mention that Vince has his pants and underwear down with his back to the camera? Taker puts JR’s hat on Vince and makes him kiss Vince, before Vince gallops around the ring like a horse and spanks himself (still with pants down) with JR’s hat to end the show. Oh and Taker’s match at the PPV for this big turn: a Hardcore Title match, just like D-Von Dudley had tonight.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve seen bad shows and I’ve seen boring shows, but very rarely do I find shows that tick me off. This one did that in spades. Vince McMahon was in the ring for over thirty minutes tonight. That’s ¼ of the show and doesn’t include all the backstage stuff he did. Almost twenty of that was for a segment involving him having another man’s face placed on his body. The total amount of wrestling on this show: roughly 21 minutes.

Let me repeat that. We had roughly fifty percent MORE Vince than we had wrestling. This is the company that at this point owned the roster of every major wrestling company in the country. Guys like Booker T and Lance Storm, two incredibly talented guys, are being used for brief cameos while guys like Rob Van Dam are used to fill in time against D-Von Freaking Dudley. Angle can’t get more than seven minutes of ring time and the world title tournament is considered a secondary angle because Vince need to be spanked on national television.

Let’s stick on this title tournament being considered secondary again. This is the WWF Title being united with the WCW Title. There are three weeks between Survivor Series and Vengeance. The poster for Vengeance has HHH, a guy who hasn’t wrestled in over seven months, featured alone on it. There’s no real need for a tournament and there’s no real justification for having it at Vengeance other than to have it close out the year.

The company is an absolute mess right now and it would only get worse when HHH came back and Jericho, the guy who would win the tournament, would be given a back seat to HHH vs. Stephanie, who wasn’t even gone two months. There is nothing good going on right now but the solution was obvious: WE NEED MORE VINCE!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2012
Location: Bradley Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The focus tonight is going to be on Punk, at least in theory. He attacked Lawler last week which will probably set up a match between the two of them because the WWE solution to a heel turn that isn’t quit clicking is always to beat up the King. Also we need to find out if Cena vs. Punk III is going to happen, which I think you already know the answer to. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap from Summerslam and last week.

Cole does the usual opening to the show but Lawler gets in the ring. He says that at the end of Raw 1000, he said something that Punk took offense to, and last week Punk kicked him in the head for it. Now Lawler wants an apology so he calls out Punk. Here’s the champ who isn’t pleased. Punk actually does say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t get how beating up a bunch of nobodies from Memphis makes you a Hall of Famer.

Punk runs down Lawler’s career and focuses on his time on commentary. After all those years, Lawler got a Wrestlemania moment and he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole. Lawler gets angry and Punk wants to know if Lawler wants a fight. Lawler says no but Punk keeps pushing it. Punk leaves and Lawler says he’ll think about it.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.

Swagger says that’s it and yells a lot.

Lawler is still thinking about fighting Punk.

Natalya vs. Layla

Before the match, Vickie comes out and says to hurry the match up because she has something to say. Layla speeds things up to start and hits some nice athletic stuff, including a few rollups and a springboard cross body for two. Natalya kicks her to the floor and ties Layla up in the ring skirt. Back in and Layla tries some rollups before settling for a kick to the head for the pin at 2:48. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a long time.

Vickie tells Layla to leave now because she’s done. Vickie talks about the Jericho vs. Ziggler match last week and complains about how Ziggler had to defend the briefcase. She says that the Board of Directors needs to look at the abuse of power and give it back to an adult like her. Cue AJ who skips to the ring and then snaps, beating the tar out of Vickie and sending her running away.

We get a retrospective of HHH’s time in DX, most of which apparently was in 2006.

It’s time for anger management with Daniel Bryan. He says he doesn’t need to be here because he’s calm and not a loser. A kid comes in wearing a goat mask and Bryan snaps. The doctor says that the kid is his son and he’s in a school play. More later.

Some actor in a WWE Films movie is the social media ambassador.

Punk has sent out a tweet about Lawler and that snaps Jerry. He gets on the table and talks about the people he fought in Memphis, one of which was Andy Kaufman. Lawler is in the WWE Hall of Fame and he got there by standing up to people when he needed to. The match is on tonight.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Non-title of course. Cena takes him to the mat to start with a headlock and we take a quick break. Back with Josh Matthews having taken over for Lawler. Miz is on the floor after escaping an AA. Cena bulldogs Miz down for two but the Champion gets in a shot to Cena to take over. The corner clothesline and top rope double ax gets two. Off to the chinlock as we actually hear about the movie Miz is going to be in. It’s the third Marine movie so take that for what it’s worth.

Cena easily counters out of it with a suplex but Miz hits the backbreaker and neckbreaker combo for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Miz is near the ropes. Miz immediately kicks Cena’s knee out and DDTs him down for two. The Final is countered but Miz hits Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for two. Cena blocks the Finale again and starts his finishing sequence. AA gets the completely clean pin at approximately 10:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here and I’ll spare you my usual complaints about a champion losing clean. At least it was to Cena and not someone that was at about the same level that Miz is at. My guess is that this is so Cena can come out at the end of the show which is fine. I like that Miz has changed some of his offense since his return. It’s working pretty well for him.

You can pick from a tables match, a cage match or a No DQ match for the main event.

HHH is still awesome apparently. This one focuses on the torn quad. That would be the first torn quad. The pop for his return in 2002 is still amazing.

Bryan complains about having a bad boss and shows how insane wrestling angles are when you explain then out loud. The last patient for the group shows up and it’s Kane, in full attire including the welding mask.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Comedy match ahoy! Santino does a slow motion takedown and dances around on Slater’s back. It turns into a dance off but Slater punches him in the face instead. Slater puts him down and goes up but Santino keeps rolling away. Santino starts his comeback and hits his usual stuff before loading up the Cobra. Cue Aksana for the distraction but he hits Slater with it anyway and the pin at 3:14.

Rating: N/A. This was mainly dancing and the rest of the match makes my eyes roll. Next.

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow

Cody and Sandow say they’re smart before the match. This is joined in progress after a break with Cody holding Cara in a chinlock. Off to Sandow for that spinning elbow before it’s back to Cody. Cara snaps off a rana and makes the tag to Brodus. A powerslam gets two on Cody but it draws Sandow in to break it up. Cara sends him to the floor and dives onto Damien to take him out. Brodus headbutts Cody out of the air and splashes him for the pin at 2:35 shown.

Back at anger management, Kane takes off his mask to reveal his second mask. Kane explains his entire character’s history and it’s absolutely hilarious. “I’ve buried my brother alive. Twice actually. And for reasons unclear, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.” Everyone else leaves and Kane chokes a guy named Harold who gets too close to him. This was GREAT.

More HHH stuff.

R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan tries to suppress his anger on the way to the ring. Truth and Bryan actually fist bump before the match starts. The fans chant GOAT FACE at Bryan to tick him off. Bryan fist bumps Little Jimmy before firing off the kicks to Truth. Truth comes back with the spinning forearm for two and sends Bryan to the floor. In a funny bit, Truth grabs the mic and says that YES, we are in Milwaukee! That makes Bryan snap and he yells at the crowd long enough to get counted out at 3:05.

Rating: C+. Most of this is for the comedy alone. Bryan is on FIRE right now and when he turns face it’s going to be huge. Also, thank goodness they didn’t have a champion lose again. This was barely even a match but it worked well for the anger thing. Also, Bryan continues to get the loudest reactions of the night.

Bryan snaps and freaks out in the ring.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement about whether or not he’s retiring. He talks about how he wanted to retire before the ring retired him. You can’t fight time and he doesn’t want to be the guy who comes back for the nostalgia pop and comes out because he’s just getting a check. Lesnar has brought him to this point. HHH says he wants to come out here and be the Game and the Cerebral Assassin and beat up Lesnar, but he doesn’t know if he can.

If he can’t come back and beat Lesnar, maybe he’s answered his own question. HHH talks about how everyone comes out here every week for the fans and every time someone comes through the curtain, they hope the fans care. “I think that every time I’ve come to the ring, you’ve all cared.” We’re just ignoring 2003 now aren’t we? HHH starts crying and says thank you for letting him play the game. He drops the mic and the fans chant “thank you Hunter.”

Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

Ziggler comes out to Jericho’s entrance but says you’ll never see him again after last week. Cole explains the MITB idea in detail as Orton and Ziggler start things off. Orton hits a quick slingshot suplex for no cover as he has to take out an interfering Del Rio. Sheamus hits a shoulder from the apron to take Alberto down. Ziggler bails to the floor as well as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Orton into the post and then back inside for Ziggler to hit a knee to the ribs for two. Off to Alberto who starts in on the arm as is his custom. Orton sends Del Rio to the floor and finally makes the tag to Sheamus as Ziggler is brought in for the other team. White Noise is countered but the Irish Curse hits as everything breaks down. Ricardo throws in the briefcase but Orton hits the backbreaker on Ziggler followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note at all and really should have been saved for the main event of Smackdown. It looks like we’re getting Ziggler vs. Orton which is fine with me, as Orton seems like a guy who would have great chemistry with Dolph in the ring. Not much to see here but it advanced both feuds to a degree, which is fine.

Lawler asks Cena to not help him tonight. Cena seems to agree.

Kane comes out and Matthews runs off. Kane sits down on commentary for the next match.

David Otunga vs. Zach Ryder

Cole talks about social media and mentions Otunga being in a movie with “Holly” Berry. Otunga controls to start as Cole keeps trying to get anything out of Kane. It’s sad to see the fans not care about Ryder at all anymore, but can you blame them? Ryder goes up but gets tripped off the ropes. That means nothing though as the Rough Ryder hits out of nowhere for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Kane grabs Ryder by the throat but lets him go and chokeslams Otunga instead. Ok then.

Cage match wins the poll by a large margin.

AJ comes out and says it’s Cena vs. Punk at Night of Champions because she says so. Doesn’t that make the whole ending of last week’s show pointless?

CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler

In a cage because the fans want it that way. Punk offers Lawler a free shot and it knocks Punk into the corner. This is non-title of course. Punk comes back with a neckbreaker as this match is going very slowly to start. As they’re going this slowly, I saw a report that says that Harold from earlier was played by Scorpio Sky, aka Mason Andrews from recent TNA fame. Lawler gets slammed onto the mat and Punk goes up the corner.

That goes nowhere as Lawler moves so Punk snap mares him down and hits a low dropkick. CM goes up again but gets crotched. Lawler goes for the door but Punk pulls him back in and drops a bunch of elbows. Punk keeps saying he’s the King of Memphis, Tennessee. Another neckbreaker is countered and Punk is sent into the cage. The fans think this is boring as Lawler makes his comeback. He goes up and drops the strap and the middle rope punch hits for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner and the Rock Bottom into the Vice for the tap at 7:40.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Lawler looked old and slow here, which to be fair is true. The cage meant nothing at all here, because there was no point to putting this in a cage. But hey, the fans got to vote on it and that means people care right? Nothing to see here for the most part, but at least it ends this Punk vs. Lawler jazz.

Post match Punk goes under the ring and finds a chain and a lock. He locks the cage shut and puts Lawler in a chinlock. Punk appears to be bleeding from the forearm. He demands that Lawler say he’s the best in the world but Lawler won’t do it. Punk beats on him until Cena comes out but Cena can’t get in. Instead of, I don’t know, climbing the cage, he screams to raise the cage as Punk drops a bunch of knees on Lawler’s head. It finally goes up and Punk says he’s the best in the world before bailing.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was hit and miss all night. A lot of the stuff that happened here came and went and seemed to be to build for later matches. That’s fine, but it can get pretty dull at times. On the other hand, you had stuff like the Kane segment at anger management which was great. HHH’s promo was just a waste of time as no one believes that he’s going to retire in the middle of a pretty meaningless show in Milwaukee. It wasn’t a bad show but it came and went, which doesn’t really help anyone.

Results

Ryback b. Jack Swagger – Shell Shock

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

John Cena b. The Miz – Attitude Adjustment

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow – Splash to Rhodes

R-Truth b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler

Zach Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder

CM Punk b. Jerry Lawler – Anaconda Vice

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 23, 1998
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s show we have a lot of stuff to deal with. For one thing, it’s the continuing story of Rock as the Corporate Champion. He needs an opponent now and since Austin got his head knocked off last week by a shovel from Undertaker, it isn’t going to be the Rattlesnake. Other than that we’ve got to deal with Hawk falling off the Tron, which isn’t something I’m looking forward to talking about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Survivor Series and the events of last week.

Apparently Austin blacked out yesterday in San Jose and is in the hospital.

There’s going to be a new Commissioner announced tonight. I think I know who that is.

Here are the McMahons and company to open the show. Vince denies being behind Undertaker’s attack last week and you know he never lies. He talks about how everything he does he does for us and says Slaughter has stepped down as Commissioner so we can have a new and independent one. This person will have authority over everyone on the roster except for Steve Austin. The new Commissioner is…..Shawn Michaels.

Shawn comes out and says that he doesn’t answer to anyone and things will never be the same again. JR is acting like this is a huge deal even though Slaughter never did a thing as Commissioner for the last year or so. Shawn decides to book his first match right now: Rock is defending the title against X-Pac.

The Insane Clown Posse says they’re not ready to face the Headbangers tonight and they need the Oddities to take their place.

Headbangers vs. Oddities

This would be Golga and Kurrgan. Kurrgan and Mosh get us going with Mosh diving into a slam. An elbow gets two for Kurrgan and it’s off to Golga. One of the clowns gets up on the apron while Golga is setting for the Earthquake and is knocked to the floor. As Golga checks on him, the clown turns on the Oddities and sprays paint in his eyes, giving Most a rollup pin. This was an angle instead of a match.

All of the Oddities get painted and Luna gets her hair cut.

We recap Kane going on his path of insanity over Taker dumping him. Was there a point to the segments with him walking around last week?

Steve Blackman vs. Blue Blazer

Blazer clotheslines him on the top rope to start but Blackman chops him down. We head to the floor for nothing of note followed by a spinwheel kick from Blackman back inside. The Blazer hooks Owen Hart’s Dragon Sleeper but Blackman makes the rope. The Sharpshooter goes on but another rope is grabbed. Steve hits a shoulder and the bicycle kick for the pin out of nowhere. JR says that was dominance by Blackman, which makes me think poorly of the Oklahoma school system.

Blackman goes for the mask but Owen Hart comes out for the save.

We get a clip of Austin blacking out after a match in San Jose yesterday as part of the aftermath of a concussion. This was back when angles happened at house shows as opposed to Johnny Ace fighting on them two months after he was fired on PPV.

Edge/Gangrel vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Edge and D’Lo start us off. My goodness does Edge look young here. A rana and dropkick take Edge down and it’s off to Gangrel. The Brood double teams Brown, including a double DDT out of the corner. Henry gets thrown around as well and it’s back to Brown vs. Edge. A kick to the face takes Edge down and it’s off to Henry. The move that we would call the World’s Strongest Slam gets two and it’s back to Brown for something close to a Liger Bomb for no cover.

The former Nation guys tag again and Henry hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for no cover again. Brown comes back in and gets cross bodied down for two. Given the chest protector D’Lo has, that probably shouldn’t have hurt. Henry slams Edge down but Brown’s somersault legdrop misses. I thought he was using the Low Down by this point. Hot tag brings in Gangrel who does a pretty boring job of cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Edge dives onto D’Lo on the floor. Here’s Chyna for a distraction, allowing Gangrel to roll Henry up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was fine from a technical standpoint but no one really cared about the Brood yet. Once Edge and Christian hooked up and Gangrel was pushed to the side, the team got a lot better in a hurry. This was more about Henry and Chyna, which wound up being one of those wacky Attitude Era angles.

Chyna says she’s go on a date with Henry.

Austin is in the hospital in a t-shirt and is told he has a bad concussion. He needs a few weeks off which ticks him off. Austin takes his medicine which apparently will make him sleepy. That sounds like a plot point. JR: “How do you feel Steve?” Austin: “Like I got hit in the head with a shovel!”

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Jackie cost Mero a match last night on Heat and was promptly fired, thank goodness. Mero jumps Goldie to start but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. A charge misses and Mero pounds away with the punches. Here’s Terri in a rather revealing outfit, especially for an allegedly pregnant chick. A clothesline gets two for Goldust as the fans tell her to take it off. Here’s Jackie as well and I think I know where this is going. The guys trade rollups for two and the bulldog gets another two for Goldust. He loads up Shattered Dreams but Terri distracts him so Jackie can hit him low. Terri kicks Mero low and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. And now we have PMS. This would be the female stable known as Pretty Mean Sisters and basically they would just be annoying for months on end. It resulted in them having a male sex slave in the form of Shawn Stasiak and it just didn’t work at all, namely due to Jackie.

A nurse gets Austin’s autograph while he rants about the Buried Alive match with Taker.

Hardcore Title: Mankind vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

Mankind is defending here and both challengers are in the Corporation. The challengers surround him and the double beating begins. Mankind finally comes back with some clotheslines and they head up the ramp. Jerry says he thinks he saw a hearse coming up the hospital Austin is in. Mankind takes out both guys and suplexes Shamrock on the ramp. Boss Man gets in a shot and we head back to the ring.

The McMahons come out on stage to gloat about Mankind getting destroyed and the fans all start paying attention to them. Shamrock hits Mankind in the ribs with the nightstick and Mankind is in big trouble. The champ (as in the Hardcore Champion, not the IC version) finds a broom of all things under the ring and blasts both guys in the ribs with it to take over. Mankind pounds on Shamrock but Boss Man blasts him in the head with an electric fan and a Coke to take over again.

They head back inside and Boss Man accidentally blasts Shamrock with a chair. Mankind DDTs Boss Man on the chair but can’t cover. The champ sends Shamrock to the floor and hooks the Mandible Claw but Boss Man makes the save. Back inside the Claw is put on Boss Man but Shamrock saves again. The ankle lock goes on Mankind but Al Snow and the JOB Squad comes in and blasts Shamrock with Head to give Mankind the pin to retain.

Rating: C. They were still getting the idea of the Hardcore Title down at this point because it was initially meant as just a joke. Mankind was getting more and more popular every week until they finally pulled the trigger on him in January. This was a decent match although I don’t think the JOB Squad was mentioned on Raw up to this point so the ending was confusing.

Taker jumps Austin in the hospital room and chokes him out. Taker and Bearer drag him out.

Light Heavyweight Title: Christian vs. Duane Gill

Gill is a joke character who was brought in as a joke big deal against Mankind at Survivor Series. Christian hits the reverse DDT for two to start and Gill misses a splash in the corner. Gill is thrown to the floor for a stomping from the Brood. Here’s the JOB Squad again to jump the Brood, giving Scorpio a chance to run in and attack Christian, giving Gill the pin and the title. This would grow into something new soon.

Austin is being put in a grave. Taker says Austin is going to be embalmed alive.

Godfather vs. Tiger Ali Singh

Godfather offers Singh the girls but Regal comes out and says don’t do it. Godfather gets double teamed until Val Venis comes out for the save. No match.

Shawn and Vince argue a bit in the back.

New Age Outlaws vs. Bob Holly/Scorpio

Road Dogg and Holly start us off and it’s time to juke and jive followed by the shaky knee drop for two. Holly comes back with a pumphandle powerslam for two. The titles aren’t on the line here. The fans might be chanting ECW. Off to Scorpio and Gunn with Billy clearing the ring and taking over on Scorpio’s arm. Roadie comes back in but gets caught by a spinning kick to the face from Scorpio. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face.

Back to Holly who blocks a charge with a boot before Scorpio comes in again. The hot tag (who are the faces in this match?) brings in Billy who cleans house again. A tornado DDT puts Scorpio down, but here’s Mankind with a freaking leaf blower to the head of Billy to give Scorpio the pin.

Rating: D+. I don’t know what it was but this match wasn’t clicking. The Outlaws never quite worked all the well in the ring and the JOB Squad was an odd fit to say the least. Either way, this wasn’t a great match and the ending was hard to understand too. Why was Mankind mad at DX? Did I miss something or an I getting forgetful?

Boss Man and Shamrock come out and beat everyone up. Patterson and Brisco come out to recruit the Outlaws.

Taker and Bearer take Austin to a funeral home.

Taker puts Austin on an embalming table and Paul gets ready to do the embalming. Taker mentions Austin disturbing the ministry, which is a new term. They get ready to embalm him and Undertaker starts speaking in tongues. They get the big spike ready when Kane comes in out of nowhere and breaks it up. Austin wakes up and escapes. For the life of me I don’t know how to explain this other than it’s the Russo era.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. X-Pac

Shawn comes out and throws out the Outlaws and the Corporation guys. Pac tries to speed things up and hits a flipping clothesline but Rock punches him down and knocks him to the floor. Out to the floor and Pac gets crotched on the post before we hit the chinlock back inside. Vince and Shane pop up on the stage. After too long in the hold, Pac gets up and hits a spin kick to put both guys down. JR is so excited that he calls X-Pac Sean.

The challenger starts his comeback and hits a big spin kick for two. There’s the Bronco Buster but Rock ducks another kick and hits a Samoan Drop for two. An X-Factor out of nowhere puts Rock down but the cover is delayed and only gets two. Pac charges into a powerslam for two and Rock gets a chair. Shawn will have none of that, so he (Shawn) hits X-Pac with the chair instead, giving Rock the easy pin (after the Corporate Elbow) and giving us another corrupt Commissioner.

Rating: C. This was more along the lines of a plot advancement moment rather than a math but at least the near falls were good. At the end of the day, we went from one worthless evil Commissioner to a valuable evil Commissioner, so I guess that’s an upgrade. Still though, there wasn’t much here and it was there for the ending and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of those shows where can see the weaknesses of the Attitude Era. First of all, what was the point in having Shawn turn two hours after he takes the job? There’s no time to build any suspense or anything at all for him as Commissioner, and at the end of the day he’s unnecessary because he’s in charge of everyone else while Vince is in charge of Shawn? So what exactly is Shane there for? Sand castle making advice? On top of that you have the Austin vs. Taker stuff which is a feud we just got done with what, two months ago? This wasn’t a very good show and it doesn’t work well at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 16, 1998
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 17,610
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So the YouTube channel I use to get house shows from has been shut down by the user so it’s back to Raw for me. On top of that, this is the show that I had a chance to go to but didn’t for some reason. The main event: Steve Austin vs. The Rock, the latter of whom has won the WWF Title last night at Survivor Series after turning heel and being revealed as the Corporate Champion. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night with Shane screwing Austin out of the tournament and joining up with Vince.

I believe there’s a new intro sequence now.

You can see the sign (Sable is the Bomb) my uncle and cousins were holding across from the camera.

Here are Vince, Shane and company to open the show. Vince says that whoever said you can’t fool all of the people all of the time was a fool. He says that Austin was a fool for not sucking up to the boss, but here’s someone that does: the Corporate Champion, the Rock. Rock says he didn’t sell out but rather he got ahead. He calls all of the fans trailer park trash and says he plans on raising the Corporate Eyebrow and dropping the Corporate Elbow. Rock says he would rather kiss up to Vince than the people which doesn’t please the people at all.

Vince wants to know what it’s like to kiss up to him. Ask Regal I guess. Shane says he kind of likes doing it and Rock seems very happy. Vince wants to show us something on the Tron but we see Austin arriving instead. Anyway, now we get a video package of the stuff Shane has done to convince Austin that Shane was on his side. Rock’s attack from last week was fake too. Of course this all begs the question: why would Shane have ever hired Austin back in the first place? He was gone completely legally, so why bring him back at all? Was it all just to mess with Austin? That’s a bit risky.

Not that it matters as here’s Austin to a BIG ovation. Vince reminds him that Austin can’t touch a McMahon unless physically provoked. Austin has a clip of Shane saying that Austin would get his title match the night after Survivor Series. Again, WHY WOULD SHANE EVER SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Vince says he overruled that but Austin pulls out a signed contract, apparently signed by Shane. Again, WHY WOULD SHANE EVER DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Vince says it’s worthless, so Austin has a video of Judge Mills Lane (former TV judge) saying that it’s a legal document and Austin gets a title shot tonight.

New Age Outlaws/X-Pac vs. Oddities

Billy and Kurrgan start us off and it’s time to dance for the big man. A big boot to Billy’s “face” puts Billy down but a chop block does the same to Kurrgan. Off to Roadie and the place erupts. Kurrgan grabs a bearhug and slams Road Dogg down before bringing in Golga for some fat man power moves. A corner splash hits but a middle rope one does as well. Billy comes in with the Fameasser for two and everything breaks down. Shaggy, one of the Insane clown Posse, comes off the top but lands on Golga, giving Billy the pin. This was nothing.

The Oddities yell at the Clowns and the Headbangers run in to beat up Road Dogg.

Mankind is here and is very mad over last night.

Vince sends Patterson to find Mankind.

Here’s Shamrock with something to say. He isn’t pleased with last night and he’d rather fight than talk. Shamrock calls out Boss Man for a match later tonight and throws in the IC Title to sweeten the pot. That’s it. This took less than two minutes and got the point across. See how easy it can be?

Val Venis vs. Mark Henry

Val pounds away (get your minds out of the gutter) to start but walks into a forearm. A belly to belly puts Val on the floor and Henry rams him into the post a few times. Back in and Val makes a comeback, hitting a Russian legsweep followed by some right hands. That’s about the extent of it though as Mark launches him into the air. Here’s Chyna, fresh back from breast implant surgery I believe. The distraction lets Val roll up Mark for the fast pin. Another nothing match.

Henry asks Chyna out to dinner and reads her a poem. Chyna walks away. Gee she’s rude.

Vince yells at Patterson for not finding Mankind. Vince: “You couldn’t find your butt!” Brisco: “I know where that is Mr. McMahon.” Brisco gets the assignment to find Mankind now.

Goldust/Steve Blackman vs. Blue Blazer/Jeff Jarrett

Goldust and Jarrett get us going in a match that would seem to be better suited in another company. Goldie gets in some right hands and it’s off to Blackman who is dropkicked down. Off to the Blazer, complete with cape. Jarrett and Goldust fight on the floor as Blackman hits the bicycle kick on Blazer for another fast pin.

Blackman goes for Blazer’s mask but Jarrett and Owen Hart come in for the save. Remember the idea was that Owen was the Blazer but he kept popping up by the Blazer at other times.

Brisco found the boiler room that Mankind was in but “there were weird noises in there.” Now Slaughter is sent to capture Mankind. Vince wants to talk to Rock in private.

Slaughter didn’t find Mankind so Vince sends all three of them to get Mankind.

Steven Regal vs. Godfather

No match as Regal takes the offer of the women instead of the match. Regal: “My name is Steven Regal, not Elton John. I’ll take the broads.” Regal wouldn’t appear on Raw for almost two more years.

Godfather makes fun of Regal and calls him a fag. His word, not mine. A brawl breaks out Godfather gets the better of it.

Kane beats up some production guys near the trucks.

Vince fires up Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

Shamrock misses a high kick to start but elbows Boss Man into the ropes. The nightstick is grabbed by Ken but the referee takes it away. Spoilsport. The challenger (Boss Man) gets in a shot and takes it to the floor. Nothing happens there so we go back in for more punching. A kind of spinebuster gets two for Boss Man but he misses a charge into the corner. Shamrock comes back with right hands but as the referee pulls him off, both guys slug the ref down for the double DQ.

Rating: D. This is the longest match of the night and it didn’t even break four minutes. I guess the idea here was to set up another match and these two had been feuding lately, but it’s getting a bit annoying in that we’re over two thirds of the way done with this show and we’ve had barely ten minutes of wrestling.

Referees finally split them up and here are the McMahons. Vince talks to Shamrock and offers him a spot in the Corporation, which is accepted.

Kane is still beating people up when police sirens are heard.

Edge/Gangrel vs. Droz/Animal

Edge gets knocked to the floor very quickly and Gangrel is double backdropped. Droz and Gangrel (what great names there were back then) start us off and it’s off to Edge for a dropkick to the back. A move that would be tweaked and called Poetry in Motion by the Hardys keeps Droz in trouble but he pulls out a powerslam for two. Here’s Hawk on the stage and he climbs the Titantron. Animal and Droz go out to get him and it’s a countout.

After a break Animal and Droz are trying to talk Hawk down. Hawk yells about Droz and even Paul Ellering is out here to talk him down. Ellering tells a story about Hawk’s mother and Hawk tells him to shut up. Droz goes up after Hawk and appears to shove him off the Tron. This would lead to an angle that would somehow get more uncomfortable later on.

After that apparent nearly deadly plunge, here’s Sable who won the Women’s Title last night. She doesn’t have the belt here but I think people prefer her with less clothing. Oh Cole has the title in the ring. It’s a nice fit on him. She dedicates the title to the fans who made her but here’s Shane with a rebuttal. He says that Vince made Sable which she disagrees with. Sable declares herself not for sale and that’s that.

Hawk has been taken to a hospital.

Patterson and Brisco, in Kentuck Wildcat (WOO!) football uniforms go into the boiler room. Slaughter is in riot gear. All three are destroyed by Foley.

Here are the McMahons, Shamrock and Boss Man to complain about Austin having a contract for tonight. Tonight is Austin’s last shot.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Rock misses a punch as Austin gets in and the fight is on. Some more punches miss Rock and the champ bails to the floor. Rock tries to head up the ramp so Austin jumps him and drops the middle finger elbow back inside for two. Another one from the middle rope gets two. All Austin for the first two minutes or so. Just as I say that, Rock comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over.

They head to the floor again and Austin is knocked into the crowd which apparently energizes him like a six pack. A chair is knocked away from Austin’s hands and Rock stomps away. Austin fights back but can’t piledrive the champ on the floor. We head back inside and Austin breaks up a sleeper, only to get elbowed down.

The Corporate Elbow debuts and it’s off to a chinlock. Here’s Mankind trying to get to Vince but he only gets Boss Man. Shamrock and Boss Man beat Foley down as Austin fights up. Both finishers are countered before the Stunner hits, but Shamrock pulls the referee out. Here’s Undertaker with a shovel and he blasts Austin in the head with it for the DQ and the end of the show.

Rating: C+. It’s Austin vs. Rock so you have to give them the benefit of the doubt here. The match was hardly a classic and was pretty boring for the most part, but they only had six minutes and a screwy finish to work with. Nothing to see here but like I said, it’s Rock vs. Austin so you have to take a quick look at least.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about building to a later show and there’s nothing wrong with that. The short matches really hurt and the explanation was stupid with Shane revealing multiple plot holes, but you can’t say this was dull. We also have a new opponent for Austin, but unfortunately it’s also the beginning of the beginning of the insane Undertaker period, which is bad all around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and nothing of note has changed. Punk is still champion, Lesnar beat up HHH as we expected him to, and there isn’t much else to talk about. Things will start to die down now as they always do in the fall but hopefully things aren’t all that bad. Let’s get to it.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Heyman brags for Lesnar about making HHH tap last night. Apparently that means that HHH quit on all of the fans because he couldn’t survive Lesnar. It’s HHH’s fault though because he told the referee to not stop the match no matter what happened and that’s what happened. Heyman asks the referee to come down here to be addressed by Brock.

Lesnar gets in the referee’s face and pulls Armstrong to himself, before saying good job. Heyman says Lesnar is the new king of kings. He’s the master of the Brocktogon and the conqueror of the WWE Universe.

Sin Cara/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes

Kofi and Young start us off with Darren being in trouble early. The champs’ team clears the ring and we take a break. Back with Truth coming in to punch Young a bit more. Ax kick hits and Khloe Kardashian is the social media ambassador tonight. Good grief. Off to Cody who comes in with a release gordbuster on Truth to take over. Titus comes in with the neck crank on Truth as things slow down.

O’Neal barks which is called the Q Bark now apparently. He suplexes Young onto Truth for two which is a takeoff on the Hart Foundation’s slam version back in the day. Off to a bodyscissors from Young followed by a chinlock from Titus. Kofi seems to have disappeared. Cara snaps off some ranas to clear the ring and Kofi dives on the Players. I guess he didn’t disappear. Back in the ring Cody goes for the mask but gets rolled up by Cara for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was a bit slow but I have no problem with combining a few feuds. That being said, why are the Players facing Kingston and Truth still? They lost twice already, clean both times I believe. Anyway, Cara continues to look good as they keep him in short bursts. A feud for the mask is fine but wasn’t that what his first feud was for? Anyway this was decent.

AJ is in the back when Otunga returns. He offers his services and she gets mad for some reason, giving him a match against a mystery opponent. Otunga leaves and AJ responds to a Tout from Punk earlier, where he said he wanted to name his own number one contender. That’s cool with AJ, but she has final say over it.

Ryback vs. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez

One step forward, two steps back for Ryback. Ryback hits three powerbombs on let’s say Andy. He shouts for Jinder and loads up the double Shell Shocked when Mahal comes in for the DQ at 1:29.

Ryback puts on the Clutch but gets destroyed anyway. The jobbers get beaten up too.

Dolph comes up to Jericho in the back and Jericho lists off his names. AJ comes in and makes a rematch between the two, with the obvious stipulation of Case vs. job.

Here’s Del Rio to say exactly what you would expect him to say. We get stills of him having the foot on the ropes, he wants a rematch, we’re all going to be bored. Cue AJ who says that’s not her territory but Del Rio can have a match here instead.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Before the bell and after a break, here’s Sheamus to join the fun. Orton dropkicks Alberto down for two almost immediately and hooks a chinlock. A slingshot suplex puts Del Rio down and there’s the Circle Stomp and kneedrop for two. Del Rio comes back with a knee and a chinlock for the sake of calling some spots. He mocks Orton’s mat smacking and goes up for some reason, only to get superplexed down for two. They slug it out from their knees with the Viper taking over.

After the clotheslines from Orton he loads up the Elevated DDT, only for Del Rio to escape and hit an enziguri. A charge from Del Rio is caught and Orton hooks his backbreaker. After a pair of kicks to the arm it’s apparently time for the armbreaker (he should just call it Destiny) but Orton counters into a neckbreaker for two. The Elevated DDT out of the corner gets no cover as Orton loads up the RKO. Ricardo comes in but Sheamus and a glare from Orton stops him. Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two as Sheamus points out the feet being on the rope to the referee. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and hopefully it sets up a triple threat instead of another one on one match. Orton is in the kind of position where he can be thrown into a match like that and lose without it hurting him at all. He can add a lot to the match though, especially some fresh blood to a boring feud between Sheamus and Del Rio. Decent enough match here.

Punk says there was no controversy to his win last night. He still wants respect.

We get a Tout from Antonio Cesaro and Aksana in the ring after winning the title last night.

Here’s the video on the stuff WWE did in LA this past week.

Damien Sandow vs. Brodus Clay

The intellectual says he’s going to send the Funkasaurus back into extinction. That’s quite the mind. Sandow sends him into the corner but the power game takes over for Brodus. He backdrops Damien and dances a bit. Sandow gets slammed down again and an elbow keeps him down. Daniem tries to go after the knee of Brodus which has been bad for weeks now. That gets him nowhere other than put in the corner where Brodus does Big Show’s gyrating hip attack. A running headbutt to the chest puts Sandow down again but a splash misses in the corner and Sandow rolls him up with tights for the pin at 2:40.

We go to Shawn Michaels in San Antonio. He says he was watching last night and talks about how it may have been the end for HHH. Shawn says you can prepare yourself for the end of your career but when it hits, you can’t be ready for it. HHH left it all in the ring last night and couldn’t get it done, so maybe his career is over. Shawn says that he was another distraction to HHH and if he had been in HHH’s corner, maybe he would have won. HHH is one of the best ever and Shawn we all love him.

David Otunga vs. Big Show

Total dominance by Show who is wrestling more like a face here. He fires off some knees to the head of Otunga and hits the Eye of the Hurricane (I think Show called it the Final Cut back in the day but I’m not sure) before finishing with the WMD at 2:07.

Earlier today Show ranted about the match last night.

Kane/Zach Ryder vs. The Miz/Daniel Bryan

The idea is that the partners have had issues in the past. That’s an understatement. They do acknowledge the issues Kane and Ryder have had which is a big help. Ryder gets in the ring very slowly and doesn’t look happy at all. Bryan starts with Kane but Bryan tags out less than two seconds in. We get a DANIEL BRYAN chant as it’s off to Ryder. There were two tags within the first fifteen seconds.

A middle rope dropkick sends Miz into the corner but Miz kicks Ryder in the face to escape. Bryan comes in and the place ERUPTS. He stomps on Ryder while taunting him about making a tag. Back to Miz who pulls on Ryder’s face and hits a neckbreaker for two. Back to Bryan who fires off some kicks in the corner. Bryan accidentally runs into Miz, allowing Kane to get the tag.

Miz won’t tag in now so it’s Bryan vs. Kane. Daniel’s solution? Slap the monster. Bryan runs into the crowd and Miz leaves too. Kane chokeslams Ryder for old times’ sake and beats up the steps and table. The timekeeper gets thrown around and Ryder gets a tombstone. Does Vince have some kind of fetish for seeing Kane beat him up? We’ll say the match ended at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much here but unfortunately it doesn’t set up Miz vs. Ryder for the IC Title which would have been a good short feud for both guys. Kane and Bryan both having anger management issues could be interesting, although I hope it doesn’t wind up being about Charlie Sheen as the dynamic there would be weird.

Cena won’t say Punk is best in the world.

Punk says that he picks John Cena for his #1 contender if Cena will accept a condition. It’s not particularly stated but the condition seems to be that Cena has to respect him.

Divas Battle Royal

This is for the #1 contendership. I think there are seven in this and I’m not going to bother listing them. Aksana and Rosa go out at the same time and we have Eve, Tamina, Alicia, Natalya and Kaitlyn in there still. I didn’t see Beth or Kelly in at all. Kaitlyn is sent to the apron but Tamina drags her back in for no apparent reason.

Eve is down in the corner and talking to a referee about something. Tamina and Natalya double team various people but they don’t eliminate anyone. Alicia dropkicks them to the apron but both get back in. Natalya gets sent to the floor by missing a charge, Tamina superkicks Alicia out and Kaitlyn throws out Tamina. Eve gets up but can’t get Kaitlyn out so Kaitlyn clotheslines her out to win at 4:10.

Rating: D. It was longer than it needed to be, it was boring, and the two most famous Divas weren’t in it. I guess this sets up the match at Night of Champions which is as good a way as anything else to get us to that. Nothing to see here though as the Divas are just worthless other than looking good.

After a recap of the opening segment, we see a Tout from Lesnar saying he’s done with WWE because he’s accomplished everything he wanted to here. Winning one match was his whole list?

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Daniel Bryan has to go to anger management classes, which gives us a way to talk about the WWE App for Android.

Vickie yells at Dolph about AJ. Dolph says this is about him tonight and not Vickie. Vickie freaks out again and Dolph says he’ll win. He leaves her in the locker room.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Contract vs. MITB Case here. Jericho gets a quick rollup to start and Dolph bails to the floor. Back in and Jericho grabs another rollup for the same result. A missile dropkick puts Ziggler down and Jericho backdrops him out to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts Dolph out there again and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and doing the handstand. Jericho finally escapes and takes Ziggler down with a shoulder.

A top rope double ax gets two as does what was supposed to be a rana but Jericho’s legs wound up under Ziggler’s legs. That could work as another move in its own right. Ziggler grabs a jumping DDT to put Jericho down and the match slows a bit. Fameasser misses and but Jericho can’t hook the Walls. Small package gets two for Ziggler but the Zig Zag is countered. The Lionsault hits knees and the Zig Zag gets rid of Jericho at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from these two, although I’m not sure if last night’s result was the right call now. Wouldn’t it be better to have Jericho lose “the big one” last night and put up his job for a final chance to win? On the other hand, the win last night made Ziggler look like he was in a lot more jeopardy tonight so it’s hard to say. Actually the right call would have been to have these stips last night, but that’s too much foresight so we got this instead, which was still fine. The ending was never in doubt though as we knew Jericho was leaving.

Ziggler celebrates a lot post match but Jericho takes the case from Vickie. He hits Ziggler with it a few times and hits a Codebreaker for good measure. That’s a pretty heelish exit after he lost completely clean.

Here’s Punk to close the show. He goes to Lawler and wants an apology for Lawler saying that Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe. Before he can get that, here’s Cena. Punk is annoyed that Cena came out early because he’s stealing the spotlight again. He’s tired of taking a backseat to Cena and Rock and everyone else. Punk has done it out of respect but he’s never gotten any respect back.

He’s tired of walking through airports and having people saying “what’s up champ, why weren’t you in the main event?” Punk says that he respects Cena and allows him to go on last, drawing a CM Punk chant. Punk talks about beating Cena twice last year for the title and for beating him last night for the title again. Last year he had to hold the company up to get some respect. Cena is the #1 contender now because Punk has to beat him again to get respect.

Punk talks about looking into the crowd and seeing all of the green (Cena’s current colors in case it’s 2017 or something). He wants Cena to say he respects Punk because the people will follow whatever Cena says. The title shot is his if he’ll say Punk is the best in the world. That line gave me flashbacks to Jesus in the wilderness with Satan. Cena talks about how he believes in the people and how he has to believe in himself. Based on that, he can’t say it because he doesn’t believe it. He says he believed in everything he said leading up to the match with Rock and if he gets a rematch he’ll say it again.

Punk has held the title for nine months and all anyone remembers is him blowing a kiss to Vince (which was before this title reign but you get the point). Cena will not say Punk is the best in the world but he’s giving Punk another option: he’s offering Punk vindication. If Punk can beat Cena in Cena’s hometown, that will prove he’s the best in the world. If Punk won’t do it, Cena has no respect for him. With that, Cena leaves Punk in the middle of the ring alone.

Punk immediately turns to Lawler and says he wants an apology right now. He demands an apology because he never turned his back on the WWE Universe as Lawler said he did. Lawler gets in the ring and says it’s a misunderstanding but apologizes. He goes to leave but Punk stops him. If Cena won’t say Punk is the best in the world, the people will believe Lawler, as he’s the minister of propaganda for the WWE. Lawler thinks but he can’t say it. He goes to leave again and Punk kicks him in the head. Punk stares down as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. There was something very important tonight that has been missing from Raw lately: there was a clear direction. Tonight we had I believe three potential matches set up for Night of Champions. Everything on the show seemed to have a point and that kept things from dragging. This was a decent show and I liked it more than most of the recent episodes, which is a good sign as we’re in a new period of the year. Cena and Punk are channeling Savage vs. Hogan in 88/89 when the Mega Powers Exploded and that sounds awesome.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Sin Cara b. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes – Rollup to Rhodes

Ryback b. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Damien Sandow b. Brodus Clay – Rollup with a handful of tights

Big Show b. David Otunga – WMD

Kaitlyn won a battle royal last eliminating Eve

Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Jericho – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 12,893
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request from about six weeks after the previous request I had. There have been some major changes, namely the arrival of the Radicalz from WCW. They’re in the main event tonight (minus Eddie who broke his arm in his debut match with the company) in a ten man tag that you hear a lot about for reasons that elude me completely. Let’s get to it.

Here’s X-Pac along with Tori who looks a lot better in black and green. As they get in the ring, here are the Radicalz (Saturn, Malenko, Benoit and Guerrero) who say they wanted to get into the WWF but on Thursday, they weren’t good enough to earn their contracts. Eddie thanks the fans (NOT FREAKING UNIVERSE) for their support and the privilege of performing in front of them. Benoit wants to thank the man that brought them here: Cactus Jack.

Cue Cactus who has just come off a masterpiece of a fight against HHH at the Rumble. Before Foley can say anything, here are HHH and Stephanie, who is still only 24 here. She says this is making her sick and makes fun of the Dallas Cowboys. Her acting is at its usual levels here. HHH says this has gone on too long so he wants Jack one more time. At No Way Out, it’s Jack’s last shot at HHH or the title. It can be any kind of match Jack wants, but there are no sharp metallic objects, no 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire or none of Jack’s sadistic toys.

Jack runs down the rules HHH just listed and says that he can have any kind of match other than that. He doesn’t think that sounds very fun, but he has a good idea: Hell in a Cell. HHH says it’s on but Jack’s career has to be on the line, and that means all incarnations of Foley: no Dude Love, no Mankind, no Cactus Jack. Jack says he’s done it all in his career and he lists off some accomplishments of his, but there’s something missing: he’s never been in the main event of Wrestlemania.

If he can’t beat HHH in the Cell, he never wants to wrestle again anyway. Shawn Michaels would use nearly those exact words 10 years later against Undertaker at Mania 26. Jack throws in the stipulation that if he wins, HHH gets no rematch and gets to be in the world title match of Wrestlemania no matter what. HHH says you’re on and starts walking to the ring. He says Cactus has 20 days left and then it’s over.

HHH takes what he wants when he wants it and right now he wants a piece of Cactus Jack. Speaking to the Radicalz, he says they can either get out of the ring or show their appreciation to the man who gave them their contracts. The Radicalz jump Foley, the man that brought them to the company. The heat from the crowd is off the charts here. It’s a 6-1 beatdown and the Pedigree leaves Jack laying.

Now let’s talk for a minute about why this segment was awesome. First of all, I want to discuss HHH. He gets a lot of well deserved flack for how dreadful he made 2002 and 2003, but in 2000, the man was untouchable when it came to being evil. He and Rock traded the world title for most of the year and there was no one else that deserved it more. HHH was on fire in this promo for multiple reasons.

First of all, he challenged Jack. After being in the fight of his life about two weeks ago, here he is asking for another match with the guy that gave him one of the worst beatings in the history of wrestling. He gave Jack the option of what match Jack wanted and said he didn’t care because he wanted Jack gone that much. HHH was a lot of things in the year 2000, but rarely could he be called a coward.

That brings us to Jack. As usual, Foley was golden on the microphone here and made you believe that all that mattered to him was being in the main event of Wrestlemania. It’s something you always hear about and it makes you think of main eventing that show as something that means more than anything to Foley. It gives him a reason to put his career on the line in a match that is perfectly suited to him.

That brings us to the Cell. Today, there’s a PPV called Hell in a Cell which has at least one match in the Cell no matter how long the feud has gone. Here, much like at Wrestlemania this year (2012), the match came up because the feud called for it. After the street fight Jack and HHH had at the Rumble, they had to step it up and give us something that would somehow be even more violent and dangerous, which is what the Cell could be. Given the stakes in the Cell match, it makes the match feel like it’s something huge and like something we as fans would want to pay money to see.

That brings us to the big surprise to end the angle: after HHH agreed to the match, we got a major turn in the Radicalz joining with HHH who basically bought them with contracts. That stacks the deck against Jack and makes you wonder how could he possibly pull this off. The only way to find that out is on PPV. At the end of the day, this was a huge moment and a great promo which made me want to watch these two fight again and makes me want to see how Jack can get out of this. Great stuff.

The Radicalz and HHH are in the back and HHH announces a ten man tag: himself, X-Pac and the Radicalz vs. Foley/whomever he can find.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Christian

Edge and Christian are challenging. As soon as the bell rings the Dudleys come out to watch. They’re in the middle of a feud with the Canadians (no really) and are at the moment the hottest tag team act since the 80s. Billy and Christian start us off and Christian speeds things WAY up, sending Billy into a near fit. Christian dives off the top onto both Outlaws on the floor but we missed part of it due to looking at Bubba looking at JR.

Billy avoids another Christian dive and it’s off to Road Dogg, but Christian gets in a shot of his own to bring Edge back in. A spinwheel kick gets two on Roadie and Edge is sent to the floor. Billy sends him into the steps and the most famous and successful guy out of all these four is in trouble. D-Von is going off on whatever comes to his mind on commentary, showing more emotion than I’ve heard from him in about ten years combined. Billy hits a Jackhammer for two.

Bubba wants to put JR through a table and Jerry actually claps. Edge hits a double neckbreaker on the Outlaws and the place erupts. Dallas has always had good crowds. There’s the hot tag to Christian and everything breaks down. Billy and Edge are sent to the floor and Christian counters the shaky punches into the reverse DDT for two. Edge spears Billy down for two but Bubba hits a cutter on Christian on the top rope, allowing Roadie to hit the pumphandle slam (his finisher) on Christian to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. It’s amazing how hot a good tag match can get a crowd. This was back when the tag division had been the Outlaws and whatever random teams were thrown together to fight for the tag titles. Then all of a sudden you have the Dudleys (who would basically squash the Outlaws for the titles later this month), the Hardys, Edge and Christian, the Outlaws to an extent and Too Cool and they were having some rocking matches. Unfortunately it only lasted a year and a half, but man alive it was a great year and a half.

The Dudleys brawl with the Canadians post match but run away.

Mark Henry asks Mae to stay in the back for the sake of their unborn baby.

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle makes fun of Henry for impregnating Mae, saying it took intensity but lacked intelligence and integrity. Angle as the holier than thou smiley man was glorious. Who would have thought this would have been the main event of a major PPV one day? Angle takes him to the mat but Henry LAUNCHES him into the air to escape. That looked awesome. Henry powerslams him down and drops a big old leg for two. A jackknife gets two but Mark misses a charge and goes over the top and out to the floor. Cue Mae Young who jumps Angle for the DQ.

Angle hits the Angle Slam on Mae who takes it better than half the guys I’ve seen it used on. Angle would win the European Title later this week on Smackdown.

Rock is here.

Mae is checked out. She doesn’t like being on her back so she shows everyone her puppies. The medic is traumatized.

Hollies vs. Acolytes

Hardcore match. The Hollies charge the ring and are immediately knocked to the floor. All four head into the crowd and to the concourse. We hit the concession stand and it’s time to drink beer. Bradshaw loads up a powerbomb on a table but here’s Viscera with a 2×4. After he slips on beer and gets up, he breaks the weakest 2×4 ever over Bradshaw’s back to give Hardcore the pin. This was short but fun.

Here’s Jericho with the IC Title and a mic. Jericho says he’s glad to be in Dallas but he’s worried about having to face the love child of Mr. T. and Fat Albert.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Viscera

Jericho pounds away but gets backdropped to stop the momentum dead. A missile dropkick puts Viscera down but walks into a spinwheel kick (yes Viscera at 6’10 and 500lbs could do those) to send him out to the floor. Back in and Jericho tries the springboard dropkick but slips, making it more like a flying leg attack. Viscera takes him to the floor and splashes him against the barricade before heading back inside. Back inside and a Samoan Drop gets two. Jericho hits the bulldog out of nowhere followed by the Lionsault but the Hollies come in for the DQ. Too short to rate but this was exactly what you would expect.

The Acolytes come in as well and it’s a brawl to likely set up a six man somewhere soon. Actually scratch that as I can’t find a record of that ever occurring. That’s surprising.

The Radicalz (not yet named that I don’t think) say they’re not sorry for what they did earlier.

Kevin Kelly is outside Rock’s locker room.

Gangrel gives Luna a weird pep talk.

The XFL is coming. That launched on my birthday.

Women’s Title: Luna vs. Jacqueline

Jackie is defending and please make this short. Jackie is from Dallas so guess who the fans like. They start on the floor and the referee gets sandwiched between them. Inside Jackie gets a small package for two but Luna comes back with what we would call an AA. A Vader Bomb misses though and Jackie hits a German suplex for the quick pin to retain.

Gangrel DDTs Jackie post match and I begin to smile.

Kevin Kelly explains No Way Out to Rock until he’s finally shut up. Rock asks Kevin if he’s ever had pie. Kevin says he had some apple pie earlier but Rock wants to know about poontang pie. Kelly says of course he has but Rock tells him not to lie. Rock says today is Kevin’s lucky day and he’s got Kevin’s first piece of pie. It’s actually a shirt that Rock puts over Kevin’s head.

Now we get down to business because it’s not about who is going to Wrestlemania, because it’s about who is Rock facing for the WWF Title at Wrestlemania. Big Show isn’t going to stand in Rock’s way at No Way Out because it is Rock’s destiny to go to Wrestlemania. Rock pauses to ask if Kevin is bored by his pie.

As for Cactus Jack, tonight it’s not 5-1 but rather 5-2 because Rock has his back. Rock doesn’t care if he’s fighting Benoit, Malenko, Guerrero, Saturn, Neptune, Pluto or Uranus, because they can turn their contracts sideways and shove them. Rock was feeling it here and it’s amazing how much better promos were back then, as the guys had the chance to show off.

Godfather’s ho’s are ready for his tag match.

Dudley Boys vs. Godfather/D’Lo Brown

The Dudleys charge the ring and we’re on fast. Godfather boots D-Von down and they’re the starters. Off to Brown who double teams D-Von with the pimp for two. D-Von takes Brown down with a forearm but misses a middle rope legdrop. Back to Godfather who cleans house and hits the Ho Train. The Ho’s get on the apron and the referee misses Bubba chop blocking Godfather. Why they needed to distract the referee is beyond me but whatever. It’s basically a handicap match here but Brown manages a Sky High and Low Down on D-Von but Bubba makes the save. 3D ends this quick.

Medics are checking on Godfather’s knee so Bubba goes and steals one of them to put through a table. Edge and Christian finally come through the crowd to make the save along with the Hardys.

There’s a Stone Cold racecar.

Cactus says don’t count him out either tonight or in 20 days. He was never supposed to be here because 15 years ago he was told he wasn’t good enough to be in this business. He was ready to go one on five but he’s not stupid enough to turn down Rock’s head. Cactus says he’s going to Wrestlemania.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

The fight keeps going post match and the Outlaws run out with clubs or pipes or something like that. The lights go out and KANE is back (complete with Paul Bearer), hunting for X-Pac. He’s even rocking the inverted colors with the black and red trim. Kane runs through DX and the Radicalz and sends them running away to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This was one of the best Raws I can ever remember. We had good wrestling, we had comedy, we had an excellent promo, we had a big main event, and we had a return. What more can I possibly ask for? Oh yeah: Jackie getting beaten up. Screw it this is getting a perfect score. The WWF was absolutely amazing in 2000 and this is a great example of why. If today’s Raw was even 40% this awesome, it would be the best wrestling show on TV bar none.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 20, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,063
Commentators: Jim Ross, Doc Hendrix

This is a Raw request which I don’t remember the reason for. We’re just past Armageddon 1999 and Big Show is world champion. We’re inching closer to the Rumble and I would have expected to do the January 3 show which is the one where HHH won the title from Show. I don’t remember anything specific about this show so let’s get to it.

HHH and Stephanie, who are currently in power, are in the back to open the show. The Mean Street Posse are around them. Stephanie was insanely hot at times back in the day. She says that tonight, they’re going to spread some holiday cheer around here. We’ll start with this.

Test vs. New Age Outlaws

Test jumps Billy during the entrance but Road Dogg jumps Test to take over. The Hardys/Edge/Christian are watching in the back. Roadie’s dropkick gets two on Test as the tall Canadian is in trouble. A double backdrop is countered into a double DDT from Test and the Outlaws are down. A big boot puts Billy down again as does a gutwrench powerbomb. The pumphandle to Roadie is broken up by a dropkick from Billy which gets two. Test’s nose mask is taken off and the Fameasser get the pin. This was about what you would expect it to be.

HHH and Stephanie are pleased. Edge/Christian and the Hardys come in because they’re tired of fighting each other. HHH says ok then, let’s have Edge/Matt vs. Jeff/Christian.

Post break the relatively new Kurt Angle comes in to see the bosses and HHH makes Angle vs. Viscera, which doesn’t please his wife.

Edge/Matt Hardy vs. Christian/Jeff Hardy

The Hardys come out together as do the Canadians. Edge and Matt jump the other guys to start before it’s Edge vs. Jeff to get us going officially. They head to the floor and Christian dives on Edge while Jeff slides back in and dives on Matt. Back in and Edge slams Jeff off the top while Matt hits a Razor’s Edge Bomb for two on Christian. Off to Matt vs. Jeff with the black haired one firmly in control.

Back to Edge with a snap suplex for two. The fans chant for Terri as Jeff finally gets the tag to Christian. He cleans house but hits Jeff out of instinct. In an interesting bit, everyone hits their finishers on their regular partners for two. Edge and Matt can’t quite hit Poetry in Motion, allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier on Matt followed by a 450 from Jeff for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fun but I’m not sure if the idea behind it was all that interesting. The fans weren’t all that into it because I think they just wanted to see these four have their usual awesome matches. Instead we got a pretty good match which wasn’t incredibly interesting. Still though, points for trying at least.

Moolah and Mae come in to see HHH and Stephanie. HHH makes jokes about their age before offering Mae some alcohol. He changes his mind though and says tonight there’s going to be a triple threat tag match: the Acolytes vs. the Dudleys vs. Moolah/Mae. Oh dear.

After a break here are HHH and Stephanie in the arena, apparently to give JR his Christmas gift. JR is brought into the ring and Stephanie yells at him for something in Entertainment Weekly where Vince and Rock were praised for making WWF so entertaining. HHH says he and Stephanie were the ones that made this place entertaining so let’s decorate the place accordingly. On the mini-trons next to the main screen, HHH and Stephanie’s pictures replace the Raw logo. Subtle.

Stephanie talks about how fun it was to slap JR last week but says this is going to feel even better. HHH gets behind JR as Stephanie shoves him down, sending JR to the mat. Cue Mankind who says he can’t stand anymore of this. You can tell he’s serious because he quotes Popeye. He tells HHH to pick on him instead of JR and says the McMahon-Helmsley Era kind of sucks.

Stephanie’s Santa hat gives Santa a bad name because Stephanie is a ho. Steph has to hold HHH back but HHH lets up. He says he has an idea but it takes him forever to get it out. Mankind will have a Boiler Room match tonight but it won’t be with HHH. Stephanie slaps Mankind and says Merry Christmas.

Kurt Angle vs. Viscera

This is during Kurt’s goofy period which was hilarious. Before the match he talks about the Three I’s: Intensity, integrity and intelligence. The goofy look on his face is great. Angle starts by trying to go behind Viscera but is easily bulldogged down. Viscera easily overpowers him and hits a Samoan Drop for no cover. Angle comes back with some dropkicks including one off the top. Steve Blackman, who has been having issues with Angle lately, comes out and blasts Viscera with a kendo stick for no apparent reason, allowing Kurt to hit the not yet named Angle Slam for the quick pin.

Stephanie thinks Angle is cute.

Moolah and Mae are ready.

So are the Dudleys.

The Acolytes are too.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young vs. Acolytes vs. Dudley Boys

The Dudleys are brand new and insane here while the Acolytes are big evil guys. D-Von tells the ladies the Dudley Commandments: Thou shall not steal, thou shall not kill, and thou shall not mess with the Dudleys. That was a good catchphrase back in the day. They rush the ring and beat the women down before the Acolytes get here. The Acolytes take their sweet time getting here before beating up the Dudleys. Moolah and Mae hit a held Bubba but he escapes and PUNCHES THEM IN THE FACE. Mae Young gets What’s Up for the pin. This was insane but perversely entertaining.

Mark Henry comes out for the save post match.

HHH gives Stephanie a present: a Santa Claus. That’s Mankind’s opponent tonight apparently. Oh dear.

Mankind vs. Santa Claus

This is in the boiler room. Mankind isn’t sure how his kids are going to handle this. The Posse shows up and jumps Mankind before he goes in and now the real fight begins. Mankind: “Did I just get beaten up by the Mean Street Posse???? That’s embarrassing!” Santa is in the boiler room and Mankind explains the rules to him but says Santa can walk out and win. Three more Santas run in and beat up Mankind but he fights them off with a trashcan.

There are two more Santas in front of the door but they’re pretty quickly dispatched. Oh those two are the Outlaws. There’s a cookie sheet in the boiler room for no apparent reason. Mankind sings some carols but another Santa pops up to hit Mankind with his sack. The final one is HHH. JR: “I’d know that nose anywhere.” Santa wins. File this one under “what are the writers on, because I want some of it.”

Al Snow wants a match with Rock and since it’s Christmas time, he gets it. This was during Snow’s odd heel period. Oh and it’s a Brahma Bull Rope match.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending. The Ho’s look good tonight. Sweet goodness Godfather was over. Godfather goes off on Jericho to start and punches him down. This is pretty soon after Jericho debuted so he’s still a jerk. Jericho low bridges Godfather to send him to the floor followed by a springboard dropkick to send Godfather back to the floor again. An attempted powerbomb on the floor is countered and Godfather makes his comeback. He slams Jericho down and kicks him into the corner as Chyna comes down. With the Ho’s distracting the referee for no apparent reason, Chyna hits Godfather low so Jericho can retain. Another short match.

Terri and BB (a big chested chick) are told they’re in a Top Rope Topless Match. Basically it’s a match between two guys and when the respective guy is thrown over the top, his respective chick loses an article of clothing. The winning guy gets a shot at Jericho on Smackdown.

European Title: Val Venis vs. Hardcore Holly

Venis is defending and this is the topless thing. BB is with Val and Terri is with Holly. Apparently this isn’t for Val’s European Title so scratch the first part of the line. Before the match, Val compares women to Christmas trees: they’re pretty at first but they look great when he plugs it in. Apparently this is for the title. Ok then. HHH comes out to host this and get a better view.

Feeling out process to start but Val’s powerbomb is countered into a rana over the top, meaning both girls have to strip. They take the dresses off and we’re back to the men fighting. Holly hits the signature dropkick and sends Val over the top rope and eventually to the floor, making him the winner but not champion despite him being called the challenger more than once. As usual, since this was barely wrestling I’m not rating it.

Terri leaves and BB takes her top off but only HHH gets to see.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock costing Al Snow a match against Mankind due to some trickery.

Al Snow vs. The Rock

This is a Brahma Bullrope match, which means they’re tied up but it’s pin/submission to win. The place goes bonkers for Rock. Before the match, Rock says he has two choices. He can walk up the ramp and let Snow win, or he can beat Snow all over Houston. Rock starts beating Snow up before the rope is even tied up. They’re tied now and Snow is sent into the post and clotheslined down on the floor. Back inside and Snow gets a shot with the bell to the head of Rock for two.

Snow stomps on Rock as the fans are already chanting for Rock. For the life of me I don’t get why they would turn Snow heel. If there has ever been a guy who is just a bad fit as a heel, it’s Snow. Snow chokes with the rope and even tries to hang him. The announcers try to call this Rock’s signature match, even though this is one of only two or three I remember him being in.

A Samoan Drop gets two for Rock and here come the punches. Snow hits the referee low followed by a bell shot to Rock. Snow gets a chair but Rock counters into a DDT. Cue the Outlaws who are quickly dispatched. Rock loads up the Elbow but Road Dogg hits him with a chair, giving Snow a two count. Billy comes in with a Fameasser to Rock, giving Snow the unlikely pin.

Rating: D+. Considering this was a bullrope match and they were only attached for about 3 minutes, there wasn’t much in the way of the gimmick. I’m assuming the Outlaws came out because Rock is on HHH’s hit list but it’s not really clear. This wasn’t a horrible match but it was pretty overdone considering what they had to work with. The rope didn’t need to be a part of this at all.

The Posse spills stuff on Stephanie and HHH so they get a match tonight against two members of Too Cool.

Post break Tori comes in and yells about something so HHH gives Kane, Tori’s boyfriend, a world title match tonight. If he loses though, Tori has to spend the holidays with X-Pac, Kane’s current foe.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Mean Street Posse

For no apparent reason this is now a six man. Too Cool cleans house to start before we get down to Scotty vs. Pete (Pete Gas, Rodney and Joey Abs comprise the Posse). Some nefarious maneuvers get Scotty down, including a belly to back suplex. That gets two and it’s all downhill for the Posse from here. There’s the hot tag to Rikishi, right hand, Samoan Drop, Banzai Drop to Joey and we’re done. This was nothing.

It’s time to dance.

HHH and Stephanie talk about the main event.

WWF World Title: Kane vs. Big Show

Show is defending in case that wasn’t clear. This was when Show still had long hair and was relatively slim. HHH comes out to watch again. Kane fires away to start and hits a boot to the face. The champion comes back with a Russian legsweep for two. Stephanie is sitting on HHH’s lap in a recliner on the stage. Kane’s boot to the ribs is caught but he hits an enziguri to the face to send Show to the floor. A big clothesline off the top takes Show down but he picks Kane up and drops him on the barricade. That’s scary strength.

Show hits Kane in the back with a chair for a DQ but HHH says keep things going because it’s no DQ. Show loads up a chokeslam so Kane kicks him in the balls to escape. Kane gets thrown into the crowd for a countout but if you’re paying attention, you know what Stephanie says. HHH makes it falls count anywhere too. Kane gets launched into the barricade but comes back with a backdrop over the barricade and back to ringside for two.

They slug it out again and Show hits a belly to back suplex for a delayed two. Another slug out results in Kane being sent into the steps. Show picks up the steps but Kane dropkicks them back into Show’s face. Cue the Outlaws as Kane picks Show up for a slam, only to have to chase the Outlaws away from Tori. Show powerbombs Kane through the announce table to retain the title.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but this is by far and away the best Big Show vs. Kane match I’ve ever seen. Apparently the formula for these two to have a good wrestling match is to take the wrestling out. Battles of the giants are more fun when you have the two of them beating each other all over the place and having them break a lot of stuff. For a TV main event, this was very fun.

HHH and Stephanie gloat to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was around the time that the Attitude Era was starting to slow down a lot after 1999 was the high point of the insanity. You could see HHH vs. Rock on the horizon as the feud that sent this company to levels no one believed were possible, along with other big stars ready to go. The Radicalz would arrive in about a month for a bunch of new blood and things couldn’t be much better. This show though was going too fast for its own good but you could tell they were clearly trying which is more than you get a lot of the time anymore. Good show.

If you’re interested, I’ve done the Raw from the next week as well:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/02/18/monday-night-raw-december-27-1999-five-run-ins-two-chair-shots-and-a-ref-bump-in-a-six-minute-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2012
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final Raw before Summerslam and the card is mostly set. The word on the street is that there’s something big planned for tonight but there’s no word on what that is. The other interesting thing is that Del Rio vs. Sheamus has been canceled (in a TOUT of course) by Booker due to Del Rio’s attack on Sheamus last week. It may be interesting to see where that goes. Yes, the Smackdown title may be interesting. Let’s get to it.

CM Punk vs. Big Show

Yes we’re opening the show with a match. Hopefully this keeps things lively tonight. Punk charges at him and is knocked down almost immediately. Punk comes back with some forearms but he’s going to have to use speed rather than brawn here. Show chops him in the corner and stands on Punk’s head. As that’s going on, there’s something I’d like to talk about for a bit. On commentary, Cole is talking about the length of Punk’s reign, the size of Big Show, what the wrestlers have been up to lately, what titles Big Show has won and all that jazz. What is he not really talking about? What we’re seeing in the ring.

It’s like that’s secondary to every other thing they can think of to talk about. Instead of the wrestling being the focus, it’s as if they’re trying to give us every other reason to care about things. It’s like talking about all the features of a cell phone and all the internet and data capabilities it has but not mentioning that you can make calls on it. That’s kind of the most important thing.

Speaking of the match, Show works on the arm but misses a charge in the corner. Punk hits the running knee but, say it with me, the bulldog is countered. Show spears Punk down….and here’s Daniel Bryan. He yells about how he should be in the title match as Show hits a side slam for two. He loads up the Vader Bomb but Punk takes out the leg. The springboard clothesline gets two and Bryan runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: C+. I like it when these two go at it. Punk knows how to have a match with big men and it worked here. There’s something about the way Show sells that running knee in the corner that makes it look awesome. Good stuff here even though it didn’t have a lot of time. When you can drag a good match out of Show, that’s saying a lot.

Bryan puts Punk in the NO Lock but Show breaks it up for no apparent reason. Cena comes out to save Punk and clears the ring. AJ comes out and makes the obvious tag for later in the show.

We’re on a break now and I’d like to address the glaring problem with Raw right now: what is new here? It’s the same stuff but with different faces (and that’s a stretch) in the old roles. AJ is standard GM #85 (the Skipping Model), we have three guys fighting over a title with more or less no personal issues, and those three plus a fourth guy are in a tag match to end the show before the PPV. How many times have you seen that EXACT same scenario?

Back and JTG is ranting to Kaitlyn about not having a match when AJ skips by. She puts him in a match with someone. Gee, I wonder who that’ll be. We’ll be RI ght BACK to the arena in a bit to find out. Kaitlyn and AJ have a weird moment that I don’t think anyone cares about.

JTG vs. Ryback

I was right before I even had time to think about it. Ryback has new music with the FEED ME MORE lines in the song now. The fans are getting into this FEED ME MORE chant. You know what might be interesting? Given the reactions Ryback has been getting, hot shot him to the world title. Seriously, what do you have to lose? Ryback is a monster, he’s getting bigger and bigger reactions every week, and he’s been around the main event before. I’m not saying it’ll be successful, but it would be an interesting way of shaking things up. It worked pretty well for Sheamus a few years ago. Anyway JTG gets Shell Shocked and pinned at 1:54.

You can vote for who you want to see in Piper’s Pit tonight: Jericho, Ziggler or Miz.

Santino defends against Cesaro on Sunday.

Piper is in the back sounding drunk and asking who will be in the Pit. He asks someone off screen who he thinks will be in the Pit and Shawn Michaels is next to him. Shawn is worried about Lesnar tonight and he gets a call from presumably HHH who is going to be getting here late tonight.

Heath Slater vs. R-Truth

Now there’s an odd pairing. Truth/Kofi vs. the Prime Time Players on Sunday. Truth starts with his usual stuff but gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Slater puts on a chinlock but Truth shrugs him off and hits Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:44.

The Players run out for the 2-1 beatdown because Kofi is in China still.

Mark Henry was in London for the Olympics.

Pauly D from Jersey Shore is the social media ambassador tonight.

We recap the Del Rio vs. Sheamus feud and we see the incident from Friday where Sheamus was attacked by fake cops, which is why the title match was cancelled.

Sin Cara vs. Tensai

Tensai tries a powerbomb but Cara rolls into a sunset flip position which doesn’t work either. Tensai takes his head off but his Vader Bomb misses. Cara hits a Swanton to the back of Tensai and an enziguri to both him and Sakamoto. A tornado DDT out of the corner gets the pin on Tensai at 1:06. Tensai HAS TO be done after that.

Tensai hits a Baldo Bomb and backsplash on Sakamoto post match.

Shawn asks someone to let him know if they see Brock.

Time for Piper’s Pit and Lawler has to be there with him to keep this logical. To the shock of no one paying attention, Jericho wins the vote by a landslide. Piper tells the fans to quit cheering Jericho for some reason. They talk about Wrestlemania 25 and the three on one handicap match they were on opposite sides in but Piper doesn’t remember any of it. Piper talks about the fans starting to cheer for Jericho and says on Sunday it’s about some fan in the front row in a red shirt.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but THANKFULLY Vickie comes in to break this up. She brigns out Ziggler who rips into Roddy and his tired old routine. Ziggler says Jericho is headed for the same place Piper is in, but Jericho counters by making a hair joke and telling Vickie to shut up. Jericho says he’ll win the big one Sunday….and here’s Miz. He has a tiny mustache now and says he’s taking over this show. Dolph can be the guest but Piper and Jericho need to leave now. Piper FREAKS and a brawl breaks out.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

This was made during the break apparently. The heels go after Jericho to start but he fights them both off with ease. Ziggler gets sent to the floor so Jericho chops away at Miz. Dolph trips Jericho up and comes back in for some stomping. Jericho gets double teamed a bit and things slow down. A double suplex puts the Canadian down and Ziggler drops the big jumping elbow.

A second elbow gets two but Miz breaks it up. It’s time for the heels to fight as per custom in matches like these which allows Jericho to get up and clean house. Both heels are sent to the floor and Jericho dives out on top of them. He stands on the announce table and I’m so glad Jericho is a good guy again. I’ve always liked him better that way. Ziggler is sent back into the ring but he knocks Jericho into the announce table as we take a break.

Back with Miz kneeing Jericho down as Jericho tries a comeback. Miz vs. Mysterio on Sunday for the IC Title. Miz stays on the back of Jericho as Ziggler is nowhere in sight. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Miz’s corner clothesline misses. Ziggler finally gets on the apron but Jericho dropkicks him down. Jericho hits the bulldog on Miz but the Lionsault only gets two as Ziggler comes back in.

Miz gets crotched on the top as Ziggler is sent to the floor by the Canadian. A superplex by Jericho is evolved into the Tower of Doom with Miz taking the worst of it. Dolph covers Jericho for two. The Fameasser gets the same and the fans are getting into these kickouts. Ziggler loads up something on Jericho but Miz runs in and hits the Finale on Ziggler….for two.

Jericho counters a reverse DDT on Miz but the Walls are broken up as well. A big boot takes Jericho down but Ziggler breaks up a cover. Dolph walks into a Codebreaker that gets two as Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes. Jericho escapes a Final and puts Miz in the Walls. Miz taps but Vickie has the referee. Ziggler comes in and hits the Zig Zag on Jericho for the pin at 14:15.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this at the end. After the commercial this got WAY better after a slow start. I was thinking Miz would win here and he probably should have to keep him looking strong going into a title defense on Sunday, but at least he didn’t lose. This was a very fast paced match and I had no idea who was going to win by the end. Good stuff.

Eve hits on Punk but Punk says he’s the same guy he’s always been. Eve says no one believes he’s changed, especially Cena. Punk says he’ll go tell Cena himself. Eve has an evil smile as he leaves.

We get a LONG recap of the stuff that opened the show and led to the tag main event.

Shawn is panicking about Brock showing up when Cena taps him on the shoulder. Shawn says he’s fine and walks away. Punk walks up to Cena and says that being champion means everything, but he’s not a phony and isn’t going to say he likes a match that he doesn’t. Punk swears he won’t stab anyone in the back and he’ll make sure that tonight is all about him.

Wade Barrett is coming back.

Kaitlyn/Layla vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix

Layla, who is still Divas Champion despite not being on TV in months, starts with Beth and they almost immediately botch a rollup. Layla gets rammed into the corner and it’s off to Eve who is put in a sloppy side roll for two. The champ “hits” a bouncing cross body, giving us some great visuals from behind her. Eve drops down and it’s time for the champion to dance. Off to Kaitlyn who gets a suplex for two but Eve starts pounding on her to take over. Back to Beth who cleans house and knocks Layla off the apron so she can choke Kaitlyn in the corner. An over the shoulder body vice is escaped and an O’Connor Roll pins Beth at 4:17.

Rating: D. This was a longer version of a bad Divas match. I have no idea why the title exists anymore but I’d assume there will be a match thrown in on Summerslam with Beth challenging because that’s all that ever happens anymore. Nothing to see here although I wouldn’t complain about looking at Layla in those pink shorts again. To be fair, at least we now know that single named Divas are better than full named ones.

Video on Lesnar vs. HHH.

Big Show/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena

It’s not even 10pm yet and it’s main event time? A BIG YES chant starts things off, as does Bryan vs. Cena. Punk makes a blind tag after Cena knocks Bryan down and Cena isn’t pleased with it. Show wants in but Bryan wants the champ instead. Bryan gets taken to the mat and it’s back to Cena. Show wants in again but gets a few NO’S. Cena gets some impressive height on a leapfrog and dropkicks Bryan down.

Punk tries to tag himself in but Cena avoids it in a somewhat funny bit. Off to Show who pounds Cena down and does it again with a shoulder as we take a break. Back with Show hitting a charge in the corner to Cena. Cena charges into a bearhug but Bryan tags himself in while cena is in the hold. The fans go NUTS for Bryan again. Bryan misses a running dropkick in the corner and it’s off to Punk who hits his usual, culminating with a neckbreaker for two.

Back to Show who works on the ribs a bit, followed by the big chop against the ropes. The champ gets put in a bearhug but some elbows to the head break the hold. The comeback ends almost immediately due to a backdrop from Show, who then walks over the back of Punk. Punk tries to fight out of the corner but Bryan won’t let him use the WMD. The reactions for Bryan are mind blowing.

Show is walking away as Bryan hits the NO Kicks. Punk kicks Bryan down and looks at Cena but he doesn’t tag. Instead Punk uses Cena’s finishing sequence on Bryan but Cena tags himself in before the Shuffle. Cena hits the corner clothesline and bulldog, but Punk walks away with the title. Bryan tries to steal a pin but walks into the AA for the pin at 13:45.

Rating: B-. This was another fun match and there was some interesting psychology going on out there. When you have no idea who is going to do what in a match, that’s always a good sign. Punk doing the Cena imitation at the end was great stuff and it would lead to a great match between the two of them on Sunday. Unfortunately Show is in it also, which brings it down a peg. Still though, good tag match here.

Post match Punk saves Cena from an attack by Show, but Cena won’t shake Punk’s hand.

In the back, Punk says Cena went into business for himself and wouldn’t shake the champ’s hand. On Sunday, Punk will teach Cena some respect.

Brock and Heyman are here.

Christian vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow goes after him to start but Christian takes over with a shot in the corner. A right hand to the head sets up the jumping back elbow off the middle rope for no cover. Sandow bails before the Killswitch can be set up and they heads to the floor, where Christian is rammed about seven times into the steps. Cue Brodus who is in a cast from the attack last week. The distraction lets Christian roll Sandow up for two. Sandow hits his neckbreaker for the clean win at 2:11.

Shawn is still looking around every corner before he finally runs into Brock. Shawn walks away and nothing is said. Brock looks….pleased?

Here are Heyman and Lesnar. HHH still isn’t here due to flight delays and Lesnar buys that, because HHH wants the match very badly. Heyman is doing all the talking here of course. This was supposed to be the contract signing in case you were confused. Heyman says this is a very personal fight for HHH and therefore, there’s a letter of indemnification, which means if Lesnar hurts HHH, HHH has no legal recourse. You’ll get an uncomfortable beating on Sunday rather than a wrestling match.

Now on to Shawn, who Lesnar confirms is in the arena. Heyman calls Shawn out as a surrogate for the Game but apparently Shawn is afraid. Heyman says that everyone in Texas is a coward and that brings Shawn out. Paul says he’ll accept Shawn’s signature in place of HHH’s but Shawn won’t sign. HHH finally arrives, taking his suit off as he comes to the ring. After a staredown, HHH signs. Neither member of DX has said anything yet. Lesnar signs and leaves.

We get some TOUTS because what would Raw be without them?

HBK isn’t sure if HHH can win, but he’ll be in the Game’s corner.

Show says what happened means nothing for the match on Sunday. We cut over to two cars colliding and see Shawn and Heyman arguing from their respective drivers’ seats. Lesnar runs up and the camera cuts out, but we can hear Shawn getting destroyed.

Back and we recap exactly what we just saw. The car window is destroyed and Shawn is missing. HHH comes up and rants to AJ.

Lesnar carries Shawn into the arena on his shoulders and throws him in the ring. Shawn gets an F5 and Brock puts him in the armbar that he broke HHH’s arm with. HHH charges out and Heyman says stop or Lesnar will break the arm. Lesnar breaks the arm anyway and bails. HHH chases him off before tending to his life partner to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was easily the best of the three hour Raw’s so far and that’s primarily the case for one reason: they spread things out tonight instead of trying to have the same 8 or so people fill in three hours. There was a lot of variety tonight and that made the show MUCH better as a result. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything like that, but it covered everything on Summerslam and has me wanting to watch the show for the first time in weeks. Good stuff although the first hour was shaky.

Results

CM Punk b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered

Ryback b. JTG – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Heath Slater – Little Jimmy

Sin Cara b. Tensai – Tornado DDT

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz and Chris Jericho – Zig Zag to Jericho

Layla/Kaitlyn b. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres – Rollup to Phoenix

Damien Sandow b. Christian – Neckbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 13, 2006
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,266
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is happening for one reason: my girlfriend was at the show and asked me to review the show. At least I have a reason for it this time which is more than I can usually say. This is just after the McMahons vs. DX war ended but we still have Coach around to mess with them, so I think we have a show long angle cooking. Let’s get to it.

Here’s DX to open the show. HHH says there have been some loud crowds in the UK but Manchester is going to be the loudest. He does the usual intro but says he doesn’t have anything new to say this week. Shawn takes the mic and says what you can do if you’re not down with that. HHH says DX has made a list and both male McMahons and Bischoff are checked off said list. They make references to the end of last week’s show and we get a clip of Bischoff having his head shoved up a scantily clad area of Big Dick Johnson. JR: “That was controversial and it created cash!” Shawn appears to be getting sick after seeing that again.

That only leaves Edge and Orton on the list, but here’s Coach with something to say. DX can forget about the yet to be named Rated RKO tonight. The fans boo him out of the building and DX makes fun of him for trying to ban them from the building. Coach is drowned out by the crowd again. He says he’s put out a bounty on them worth $10,000. HHH: “You cheap bastard!” Coach makes a handicap tag for right now.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Viscera/Trevor Murdoch/Charlie Haas

This is joined in progress after a break with Shawn taking Haas down with a shoulder block. A hip toss puts Haas down and Shawn grabs a headlock. Shawn and HHH are in street clothes and it’s off to Cade who is chopped in the corner. Murdoch comes in and kicks Shawn’s head off but he jumps into a boot in that stupid move that gets on my nerves.

Shawn can’t make the tag as Viscera comes in with a side slam which gets two for Haas. A hard kick to the back gets two and it’s back to Cade for a chinlock. Shawn fights up and an enziguri lets him tag his male life partner. House is cleaned and it’s spinebuster/Pedigree for the pin on Haas.

Rating: D+. What in the world were you expecting here? This is why the feud with the McMahons over the summer wasn’t that well received: almost no one can give DX a run for their money in a straight match so there was a revolving door of midcarders to face them in handicap matches. That’s why Rated RKO was such a big help as it gave them people who could realistically challenge Shawn and HHH. Matches like these though were just there to give DX new people to beat up.

Kenny tells the three members of the Spirit Squad not in the upcoming tag match to get the bounty.

We cut to DX in the back and a Squad member (Nicky I believe, more famous as current Mr. MITB Dolph Ziggler) charging at them, only to miss completely. Shawn hits him with a trashcan lid and HHH hits Mikey with the same lid. HHH and Shawn have a quick pow wow, talking about how this is going to be a long night. They take a step towards the camera to avoid a diving Mitch in a predictable yet amusing spot.

Highlanders vs. Spirit Squad

The Highlanders were a Scottish team that you don’t need to remember. This would be Johnny and Kenny for the Squad. Robbie and Johnny get us going and down goes Johnny via a headbutt. Off to the bald Rory who gets two off a cross body. Johnny rakes the eyes and it’s off to Kenny who was supposed to be the breakout star of the team.

The Squad double teams Rory down and it’s off to another chinlock. Rory sends Kenny into the top rope (JR: “Does anyone have a last name anymore?” Jerry: “You just have initials.”) and it’s a hot tag to Rory. Everything breaks down and the Squad sends Rory to the floor so Kenny can roll up Rory for the pin.

Rating: F. From a technical standpoint this was fine, but I literally cannot think of a match that I have ever been less interested in. This match had absolutely nothing at all that made me care. I mean there was nothing at all in here that made me want to see any of these people wrestle again. This was a failure in that regard, which is a horrible result for these guys, and none of them would have a job in WWE two years from the date of this show.

We recap last week where Lawler had to wrestle a match against Chris Masters while being handcuffed to the top rope. Therefore tonight, Lawler is taking the Masterlock Challenge.

The Challenge is right now apparently. Masters takes forever to put it on and then it’s just like everyone else that has been in this. Hey, did you know Masters was really strong? Clearly it’s his fault that the gimmick never got over when that was all he was given to work with for years.

DX is in the back when Eugene comes in to try to claim the bounty. HHH hands him a roll of paper towels. Eugene punches the door and then charges into a food table.

Lita says she’ll beat Mickie James tonight.

HHH tries to use the bathroom but has to beat up Chris Masters instead.

Umaga vs. John Cena

Todd Grisham has jumped in on commentary to replace Lawler now. Umaga beat up Maria last week until Cena made the save. Cena is world champion and Umaga is undefeated here. The champ can’t hurt him to start and Umaga takes him down with an uppercut. A Samoan Drop puts Cena down and it’s time for a nerve hold. Cena fights up and hits the Throwback before knocking Umaga into the ropes ala Andre. Estrada tries to interfere but here’s Big Show (looking like he ate Umaga) for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a match but rather angle advancement. Cena and Show were Survivor Series captains in a few weeks so there’s your explanation. This would be the Rumble main event as well as I think Armageddon where Cena had the classic man vs. a monster formula down to a tee. I still can’t get over how huge Show is though. I know he’s big today (August 2012) but he looks SLIM compared to how he looks in 2006.

The monsters destroy Cena.

DX comes in to see Coach and they already have a Benny Hill style video recap of the last hour. DX says Coach wins and they’ll leave, but Coach says they don’t get the $10,000. Shawn steals the money. Ok then.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Hardy is challenging after Bischoff cheated to help Nitro get the title a week ago. Jeff grabs a headlock to start but quickly switches to the arm. Nitro is sent to the floor but misses a slingshot splash coming back in. Jeff pounds away in the corner but Nitro bails before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff is like screw that and dives on Nitro on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jeff dropping the leg between the legs for two. Nitro comes back with the kick eventually known as the Flying Chuck for two and it’s chinlock time. Jeff grabs a quick sunset flip out of the corner but Nitro clotheslines him down again for two. Back to a chinlock by Nitro but Jeff breaks it pretty quickly again. Jeff makes a comeback but misses Whisper in the Wind to give the champ control again. A reverse powerbomb gets two for Nitro but he jumps off the middle rope into a powerbomb from Hardy which gets the same. Cool looking counter though.

The Swanton hits but Melina has the referee. Ross freaking out over it makes me miss him as compared to the laid back attitude of Cole. Nitro hits a neckbreaker but an AJ Styles Spiral Tap gets two. Jeff counters the pin out of nowhere into a rollup for the pin and the title. That came so fast that I almost had to rewind the video.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but it seems like it would have been better live. Hardy is a guy that is awesome when he’s flying around out there but Nitro wasn’t ready to be a real threat to him yet. Melina’s screaming gets very annoying very quickly but then again that’s the idea. Nitro would get better when he became John Morrison.

Nitro beats up Hardy post match and pulls out a ladder to further the attack with. I think I smell a rubber match.

DX is outside and HHH thinks they should use the money to go inside and buy tickets. They find scalpers instead (in the form of Cryme Tyme) but HHH can’t understand them. Shawn says he speaks jive. I wonder if they’ll catch an Airplane home after the show.

Carlito is reading a paper in the back when Torrie and some Daily Star (the paper he’s reading) girls come in. Apparently there are scantily clad women in there but Carlito says he’s reading the sports section. Torrie asks him out and invites him to stay in her hotel tonight.

We run down the Survivor Series card.

DX buys all the DX shirts from the merchandise stand. They throw them into the crowd and apparently my girlfriend caught one HHH threw.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. DX is in the front row now. Apparently Mickie has to have her feet shackled together for some reason. Mickie says after the match Lita can have the shackles because she needs her legs tied together. Lita jumps Mickie to start and the champ is in full control. DX starts a Lita’s A Ho chant as this is completely one sided so far. The champ goes after them and slaps HHH but he sprays mustard on her. Back inside Mickie hits Lita with a salami (I kid you not) and hits the jumping DDT for the pin. Not really funny but good upskirt shots of Mickie are never a bad thing.

With Lita still recovering, here are Orton, Edge and Coach with the final of those three ejecting DX.

Tag Titles: Rated RKO vs. Ric Flair/Roddy Piper

Flair and Piper took the tag titles from the Spirit Squad so that they could drop the titles to Rated RKO. Seriously, would ANYONE expect the old guys to retain here? I know it’s spoiling things early, but dude come on. In case it wasn’t one sided enough already, Piper comes out first and gets double teamed with a chair by Rated RKO. Flair comes out to fight off Orton but Edge hits a Conchairto on Piper, making it a handicap match.

There’s a WOO banner that is longer than the side of the ring. That’s pretty impressive. Edge starts and Flair’s chops only get him so far here. Off to Orton who pounds Flair down in the corner some more. This is domination so far. A clothesline puts Ric on the floor where Orton suplexes him to follow up. Back inside and Edge hooks a chinlock. Flair ges a low blow on Orton so it’s back to Edge who gets chopped down. Orton misses a dropkick but as Flair loads up the Figure Four, Edge spears him down for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. The match sucked, but as I said earlier DX needed a credible pair to fight and giving Orton and Edge the titles gave them something to fight over. There was zero drama here and it wound up being a five minute squash. Edge and Orton would hold the titles into the new year until Shawn and Cena won them. HHH would get injured (again) in the big match between the teams but the idea was right.

DX runs out for the save and beats up security to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a tricky one. It’s not what I would call a good show as the best match (the IC Title) was the only one with any significant length. That being said, you can’t say stuff didn’t happen here as we had two title changes and a show long story. Cena was a complete afterthought here other than for about five minutes, but DX was entertaining so I’m not that angry. This is by no means a bad show but there’s nothing on it great. It’s a show that would be better served if you read the results online and Youtubed some highlights.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews