Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the 1000th weekly episode of a show that airs year round which makes it the longest running show with as many catches as they can think of, as long as you don’t count shows like WCW Saturday Night or Memphis Wrestling’s Saturday morning show which ran for about 30 years airing new shows. There’s A LOT to get through tonight as we have a wedding, Lesnar, Rock, DX and other legends appearing live, and Cena vs. Punk for the world title. Let’s get to it.

We open with one of those always awesome WWE montages of past Raw moments. I’ll set the over/under of moments from 1994/1995 at about 2.

There’s a new logo for Raw tonight and for apparently one night only, there’s a different song, called Tonight is the Night.

We start the false advertising right away, with Vince opening things. The video wall is different too, with HUGE walls on the side of the Tron now. Vince thanks us for 1000 shows and brings out DX complete with a hybrid of the old and new entrances. Shawn and HHH come out to do the entrance but Shawn is having issues because he’s old and out of breath before the crotch chop.

They talk about having their DX merchandise on and asks each other if they’re wearing underwear. After assuring that they are, Shawn still thinks something is missing. HHH thinks there used to be more of them, drawing a BIG pop. Complete with military invasion vehicle, here are the Outlaws and X-Pac. They do their usual lines (complete with Road Dogg censoring himself on Billy’s nickname in a very nice bit) and HHH points out that he’s the only one left with a full head of hair.

Billy and Shawn aren’t sure who should say the final line. Billy: “He never really gave me that much but I was good at this.” Shawn says the same so HHH pulls Billy aside and says that Shawn might lose his smile and go pose for Playgirl again. Shawn: “I NEEDED THE MONEY!” They agree to do it at the same time….and here’s Damien Sandow. That’s the perfect choice too. He says this is what WWE has disintegrated to and how low society has gone: people like DX are now revered. Shawn says he’s going straight to church and asking for forgiveness….AGAIN!

Sandow understands that DX could destroy him but if they do so, he won’t be a victim. He’ll be a martyr. HHH calls for a DX huddle but Sandow tries to listen in. Sandow: “That’s very rude.” HHH: “We’re rude guys.” HHH goes to talk but it’s Sweet Chin Music and Pedigree for Sandow. Billy and Shawn get to do their line and that’s it. GREAT opening segment and absolutely hilarious.

Here’s JR with a goatee. Cole is fine with him now.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

The difference in pops for Cara and Sheamus is staggering. We’re joined in progress with Cara in trouble from Ziggler before it’s off to Jericho for a chinlock. Cara gets a rollup for two but Jericho knocks him right back down. We get the posing cover for two and a BIG reaction before it’s off to Del Rio. The heel team works on Cara’s back with Del Rio hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Cara hits a tornado DDT and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. He cleans house on Jericho, hitting a running kneelift.

Irish Curse is kind of botched but the second attempt connects for two. Everything breaks down and Rey knocks Del Rio to the floor, hitting a seated senton off the apron. Sheamus and Jericho are the only two left in the ring and White Noise is countered into a failed Walls of Jericho. Codebreaker is countered but the Brogue Kick misses. Ziggler drills Jericho (intentionally) to break up the springboard dropkick and the Brogue Kick finishes Jericho at 4:26 shown.

Rating: C+. Other than the main event, expect a lot of these matches to be short and sweet tonight, which is the right move on a show like this. Cara getting to rub elbows with guys like Mysterio and Sheamus is a great thing for him and it should do him a lot of good. This was fast paced and fun, which is the right idea.

TOUT IT OUT!

Charlie Sheen is the social media ambassador and is on Skype with us here. Sheen thinks he’d fit in with DX. That’s a perfect fit actually. He doesn’t sound like he has any idea what’s going on but he doesn’t seem bored out of his mind and that’s all I can ask for.

We recap the wedding buildup from last week.

AJ is getting ready in the back with Layla and she asks if AJ is ready. AJ says yes she is and yes she’s mentally stable. Everyone is a bit off out here and she opens the door to prove it. Jim Duggan is talking to someone and R-Truth and Roddy Piper holding a jump rope for Little Jimmy. Then, in perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on Raw, MAE YOUNG AND A FULL GROWN HAND ARE HERE!

Someone delivers Sonic to Jerry Lawler. That’s kind of awesome.

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus brings out DUDE FREAKING LOVE. Brodus is in a USA themed singlet tonight. Swagger misses a charge, gets suplexed, and the splash ends this in 19 seconds.

It’s time to dance, complete with a tye dyed Socko to Swagger.

HHH is in the back with Trish Stratus who I don’t think people recognize. She demonstrates Yoga to him and shows HHH how to bend over when DX comes in. They don’t know what to think but Road Dogg says they’ll wait in the rear. Pac stays around and hits on Trish but it goes nowhere.

Daniel Bryan is talking to what appear to be orderlies.

We open the second hour with the wedding. Jerry is the master of ceremonies for some reason. The reverend is SLICK! Lawler was just introducing Slick apparently. Slick looks BAD. Here’s Bryan first, to his theme music of course and in a white tux. AJ comes out as normal, minus the skipping. Slick goes into Jive Soul Bro mode and says that marriage shouldn’t be entered into lightly but AJ tells him to get to it. We get the speak now moment and half the arena starts booing. Slick: “Wooooooow. I never heard that before.”

The fans chant no but Bryan has a speech ready for AJ. Once they’re married, he’ll have everything he’s ever wanted. The ring goes on AJ’s hand and he says he does. AJ says yes before she’s asked a question. Slick is about to say they’re married but AJ says wait. She wasn’t saying yes to Daniel, but rather to someone else. Someone else proposed to her earlier tonight: VINCE MCMAHON???

Oh wait he’s just interrupting things. Scratch that as apparently he did propose to her, but it’s a business proposal: AJ is the new GM. Now that’s something I didn’t see coming. AJ hands Bryan the flowers and skips off to her music. Vince only said GM of Raw so I don’t think she’s in charge of Smackdown too. Bryan freaks out and breaks a lot of stuff.

Post break and Bryan is still freaking out, shouting NO at everyone. Cue Punk for likely a hearty laugh. He laughs about Bryan getting left at the altar and says that AJ is going to be GM. Punk: “You can continue to throw a tantrum. I’m going to continue to be WWE Champion.” Bryan says Punk isn’t even the best in the ring tonight and says that Bryan is the best of all time.

Cue The Rock for a rebuttal. After a lengthy intro, Rock says Bryan doesn’t get to say who the best of all time is. The fans get to say that, and guess who they chant for. Rock does the FINALLY bit but Bryan cuts him off because he can say anything else. He doesn’t know who Rock thinks he is but Rock cuts him off as well. Rock says he won his first WWE Championship here, but he’s not here to talk to Frodo right now.

Instead he wants to talk to Punk, because at the Royal Rumble, he’s got the world title shot. That gets almost no reaction for some reason. Punk says that’ll be him because he’ll defeat Cena tonight. Tonight he’ll end Cena and he’ll beat Rock at the Rumble. Bryan says no because it’s supposed to be about him and it’s supposed to be the best night of his life.

Bryan, with his eyes bugging out, says that he’ll fight Rock at the Rumble. He says he’ll be the face of the WWE. Rock says we’re not looking at the face of the WWE. We’re looking at a homeless lumberjack mated with an Oompa Loompa. “Oompa Loompa dumpity ding, you look like a troll from Lord of the Rings.” Rock Bottom to Bryan and that’s that.

Here’s Bret Hart to be ring announcer for the next match. He says he won his first IC Title by beating Mr. Perfect and he’s introducing the Intercontinental Title match tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. The Miz

Bret’s boredom of introducing Miz is great. Christian immediately sends him to the floor and hits a dive to the outside but he may have hurt his knee. We take a break and come back with Miz holding a weak leg lock on Christian. During the break the champ (Christian) had his knees sent into the steps to further the injury. A top rope cross body gets two for Christian and he goes up again, hitting the jumping back elbow for no cover. Unprettier is broken up and the sunset flip out of the corner gets two.

Miz kicks him in the face for a near fall of his own and things slow down again. Christian comes back with a tornado DDT for two but his leg is still messed up. Spear is blocked and Miz gets a short DDT for a very close two. The corner clothesline misses for Miz but the Killswitch is countered again. Finale and Killswitch are countered again. Christian escapes a belly to back but hurts his leg again, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the title at 7:46.

Rating: C+. That’s a nice surprise for tonight as they needed to do something to give us a little history here. Also Miz gets to win something for the first time since losing the world title over a year ago. It’s even better than it was clean, which is rare to see. Good stuff here and a nice surprise.

Charlie Sheen says he’s a fan of Rock and is looking forward to the Rumble. As for Bryan, he has Anger Management issues.

Regis Philbin talks about all of the wrestling guests he’s had on his show. He looks good for 80.

Here’s HHH to talk to Lesnar. After a recap HHH calls Lesnar out but gets Heyman again. Lesnar is here tonight and Heyman has power of attorney for him. The match at Summerslam isn’t happening. HHH says he’s tired of this so he’ll go find Lesnar himself. Heyman says HHH is already facing multiple lawsuits and that might not be best for business. HHH says Lesnar is a coward so Heyman makes fun of HHH’s kids. HHH yells and Heyman backs off. Paul keeps talking about the kids and here’s Stephanie, looking great in a black dress but showing off that famous Stephanie acting ability.

She yells at Heyman for his failures and says the lawsuits are a way for him to make himself feel better. Heyman gets cut off and Steph says her dad has more guts than Lesnar. She calls Heyman a parasite and gives him an awful slap. Heyman bails but gets back in almost immediately. The match with Lesnar is on now. Heyman runs his mouth some more so Stephanie takes him down. Cue Lesnar who is actually here for once. Well he’s here but his arms seem to be missing. Lesnar takes HHH into the corner and fires in shoulders but HHH comes back. HHH clotheslines Brock to the floor and takes his hair down so you know he’s serious.

Tout it out!

After talking about WWE 13, we get a video on Vince vs. Austin, which needs to be on a show like this.

Here are Santino and Hornswoggle with WWE toys, which apparently are like old school WRESTLING BUDDIES. These talk though.

Howard Finkel is guest ring announcer for the next match. Now all is right with the world.

Heath Slater calls out any legend to a No DQ anything goes match.

Heath Slater vs. Lita

WOW. Lita still looks great too. Slater laughs this off but then accepts her challenge. The bell rings but Lita says she hired herself some protection. Cue the APA and Slater PANICS. Slater immediately runs but backs into every legend he’s fought in the last few weeks. They chase him back into the ring and the Twist of Fate sets up the Clothesline which sets up the Litasault (looked perfect) for the pin at 1:54.

Take a guess what Ron Simmons says post match.

SEAN FREAKING MOONEY is in the back with Daniel Bryan. Bryan didn’t like being called an Oompa Loompa by Sheen earlier and says he’d slap Sheen if he were here.

We talk to some guy that is the 100,000,000^th social media follower. Good for him.

Fozzie Bear hosts a video on great catchphrases on Raw over the years. There’s a great bit in here where they go with Austin and Vickie saying WHAT and EXCUSE ME over and over again.

Ryder is in the back with Cena and Mean Gene. Ryder thinks Gene was behind GTV and Gene says he wasn’t working here at the time. Cena is lost when Rock comes up. Ryder and Gene leave and it’s time for the staredown. Rock wishes Cena luck and Cena says see you at the Rumble. Rock says he’s looking forward to it.

Kane vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal comes out with Hunico, Camacho, Reks, McIntyre and Hawkins. They say they’ve gotten no opportunity over the years and they’re tired of it. They surround Kane….and a gong strikes. There go the lights and here he is. His coat has spikes on the arm now. There’s no hat for some reason though. The six guys have bailed and it’s just the brothers in the ring now. Taker has a buzz cut mowhawk now. The six guys run into the ring because they’re pretty stupid. Hawkins and Hunico get stereo chokeslams and stereo tombstones.

BE A STAR! Just for clarification: We go to an anti-bullying rally preaching non-violence right after six guys were about to jump one and the solution to the one’s problem was that his big brother came out and helped him fight.

Charlie Sheen says he’ll shake Bryan so hard that the fake beard will fall off and you’ll see the word losing under the baby cheeks. Sheen challenges Bryan to a fight when he’s in LA. No mention of Summerslam is made because then it might happen. Scratch that as it’s mentioned once Sheen is gone.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week where Cena challenged Punk and says he’s cashing in tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending in case you’re reading this years later. We take a break before the bell, and it’s already 10:56. We don’t get big match intros as the bell rings immediately when they come back. There’s a quick hand slap and we’re ready to go. Punk gets taken down quickly but comes back with an abdominal stretch. Cena hiptosses out of it and it’s a stalemate. Cena fires off some right hands and takes Punk down with a headlock. Lawler says Cena is like Superman.

Punk comes back and they slug it out with Punk taking over via a kick to the face and a clothesline. The running knee in the corner hits and Punk does You Can’t See Me. Bulldog is countered into the ProtoBomb and there’s the Shuffle. Punk pops up and hits the high kick but the GTS is escaped. There goes the referee as the AA hits but there’s no one to count.

Cue Big Show who spears Cena down and he loads up the right hand. Down goes Cena and Punk isn’t sure what to do. The champ rolls the referee back in and covers Cena but it only gets two. He loads up the GTS but Cena rolls through into the STF. Big Show runs in again and hits Cena for the DQ at 11:15, making Cena the first person to cash in and not win the title.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it’s a far cry from their previous ones. That being said it wasn’t bad or anything as these two feel like a major match whenever they get in the ring. The interference was obvious but there’s nothing wrong with that. Given the amount of time they had to work with, this was fine.

Punk turns his back and lets Cena get beaten down until Rock comes down for the save. He beats up Show and loads up the Elbow….but Punk takes Rock’s head off with a clothesline. Hokey smoke I think we just had a heel turn. There’s a GTS to Rock and the champ stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The ending bumps this up a good bit. This was certainly an entertaining and very fun show, but it wasn’t a masterpiece. The ending was great as Punk’s demons of being overshaddowed time after time finally got the better of him and he embraces his inner evil side. That’s great storytelling and gives them a ton of possibilities down the line. Also by having him attack Rock, there’s a much better chance of him being hated down the line. Great stuff here and a great show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 2, 1998
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,590
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? We’re still building towards the Deadly Game tournament at Survivor Series which is another step in the feud between Vince and Austin. We have Shane as the top good guy now against Vince as Vince is still evil of course because his name is Vince McMahon. I barely remember most of what’s been going on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince vs. Shane.

Here’s Shane in the arena to a big pop. He says that the day after Survivor Series, Austin gets his title shot on Raw. Apparently Shane is in charge tonight. Here’s Austin and we cut to the back to see Vince arriving. He comes to the arena before Austin can say anything and says that he’s not going to retire. As the crowd tells Vince what they think he is, he says that Austin, Shane and the fans would love it if he left.

Well the only way he’s stepping down though is the day he dies. That’s very true I’d assume. When he dies, he doesn’t want anyone coming to his funeral because he wants to get straight to where he’s going forever. That’s where he’s been lately because of what Shane has been putting him through. Therefore, Shane is fired from his executive spot and now he’s a referee. If he’s bad at that, he’ll be on the ring crew where he started his career. As for Austin, he’s in the tournament at Survivor Series. In the opening round, he’ll be facing Big Bossman, Vince’s goon.

There’s a cage over the ring.

During the break, Vince yelled at JR and Lawler. Also, someone will be paying hard time tonight in that very cage.

D-Generation X vs. The Brood

This would be the Outlaws and X-Pac. This is being written the day after Raw 1000 so they’re pretty fresh in my mind. The Brood is Edge, Christian and the leader Gangrel. They may have picked the wrong guy to be in charge. Pac and Edge get us going and you know how fast that’s going to go. Pac kicks Edge’s head off for two but Edge comes back with a spinebuster.

Off to Christian who is in a long sleeve shirt for some reason which is really loose on him. It’s a pretty odd look but he hits a gutbuster to take over. Hot tag brings in Road Dogg for some shaking punches and it’s back to Edge. He DDTs Road Dogg and everything breaks down. The lights go out and it’s Kane time. He clears the ring and we’ll say it’s thrown out too soon to rate. There was nothing to see here.

During the previous break, Vince yelled at Cole. Today these roles would be completely reversed.

Hawk vs. Droz

Thankfully they’re just calling him Droz now. Last night these two got in a fight and cost the LOD a match to some team called The Hardy Boys. Hawk is drunk again. Droz jumps Hawk but Animal comes in and pulls him off. No match but Animal yells at Hawk a lot. Animal and Droz leave together.

Vince yelled at Cornette during the match. I’m sure there’s a shoot video about this somewhere.

Al Snow and Mankind have an argument…..I think. Mankind makes reference to a show called Real Secrets of Pro Wrestling Revealed, which was a documentary which was supposed to be a big deal but didn’t reveal anything most people didn’t already know.

Oddities vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Golga/Kurrgan here. ZZ Top is here. Mankind and Kurrgan start and we get a dance off until Snow jumps Kurrgan from behind. Off to Snow who has a bit less success. Snow fires off some kicks to the legs and Kurrgan goes down before Mankind comes back in. Golga comes in with a splash in the corner and an elbow drop for two. A side slam from Kurrgan gets the same as we’re told Vince is yelling at the Fink.

Mankind grabs a double arm DDT on Kurrgan and reaches for Socko, but he’s not there. Snow hits Kurrgan in the head with Head as Mankind leaves in panic. Snow walks into a bad Bossman Slam from Kurrgan. Snow makes both Oddities miss a few times but Kurrgan chokeslams him and the Earthquake gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match at times and a major upset at the end. Well maybe not major but still an upset. Kurrgan is a total guilty pleasure for me and when he’s in there with my all time favorite, what else am I going to say here other than it wasn’t all bad. This was nothing great but I had to like it a bit given who was in there.

Most of the roster was watching the show and someone is with them. Vince comes up and throws the guy out because he doesn’t have a backstage pass. His response: “I’m Shaquille O’Neal. I don’t need a backstage pass.” Vince leaves.

Post break Mankind is looking for Socko and thinks Vince can help him find it.

Steven Regal vs. Goldust

It’s the REAL MAN’S MAN! This is the result of an open challenge from Regal, who wants to fight a real man. Regal works on the arm but gets taken down with a shoulder block. Back to the arm for Regal but gets caught in a bad hiptoss. Regal comes back with some shots to the head and sends Goldust to the floor. Here comes Terri with a cigar. Back in and Regal pounds away in his usual clunky style. Goldie comes back with an uppercut and bulldog for two. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams but here’s Kane for the throwing out of the match.

Rating: D+. The song alone keeps this from failing but the match didn’t work for the most part at all. By that I mean there wasn’t anything here and the focus was on Terri for all of ten seconds. Basically they were there for five minutes until Kane came out. Can I just listen to Regal’s song some more?

Kane goes for a chokeslam on Terri but suits come out. Tony Garea gets the chokeslam instead.

Here are the brackets for the tournament at Survivor Series:

Kane and Undertaker have byes to the second round.

Kane

Undertaker

The Rock

HHH

Goldust

Ken Shamrock

Mankind

???

Jeff Jarrett

Al Snow

X-Pac

Steven Regal

Steve Austin

Big Bossman

Mankind goes to Vince and Vince says Mankind can have something if Mankind doesn’t interfere in the next match. The gift: the WWF Hardcore Title.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Vince talked to Shamrock during the break but we didn’t hear what he said. BIG pop for Rock here. Before the bell, Vince comes out and says if Rock doesn’t win the title, he’s not the #1 contender, nor is he in the tournament at Survivor Series. Rock takes over fast and sends Shamrock into the corner before hitting an elbow to the chest while Shamrock is on the apron. Rock punches some more but gets elbowed down as the champ takes over.

They head to the floor and the Brahma Bull is in trouble. Shamrock stomps away and Rock goes into the steps as well as the announce table. Back in and Shamrock is relishing the fans hating him like they do. Rock comes back with a clothesline but he gets taken down by a hurricanrana and the belly to belly. Ankle lock goes on but Rock makes a rope, taking the smile off Vince’s face.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and Rock gets a very delayed two. Rock fires off right hands and ducks a high kick, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two. The champ comes back with a powerslam for two but Rock gets a DDT for two of his own. Down goes the referee so Shamrock gets a chair. He swings at Rock’s head but hits the rope, sending the chair into his own head. People’s Elbow connects but there’s still no referee. Shamrock gets up and cracks Rock in the head with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two always had some good chemistry together and this worked pretty well too. Rock would be thrown out of the tournament for this but since it’s the Attitude Era, I’ll put his time at being out of it at about 45 minutes. Good little match here and the ending makes sense given the story going on.

Vince tells Rock he’s out of the tournament.

Rock is mad.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Val has recently dumped his pregnant chick of the week Terri, saying it’s her problem and not his. This is a rematch from last night apparently. Feeling out process to start and Val hooks a quick abdominal stretch and a backslide for two. A spinebuster puts Jarrett down and Val does his running knees to the ribs. Val loads up the Money Shot but here’s the Blue Blazer for the DQ. Too short to rate but this was nothing again.

Some cops arrive and Vince wants Rock arrested.

D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry vs. Headbangers

The Bangers are dressed up like the Outlaws. Brown and Mosh start and apparently the winners get a title match at the PPV. Off to Henry and Thrasher and Thrasher has hurt his knee. Mosh cheats a bit but Thrasher can barely walk. Mosh comes in legally now as does D’Lo. Brown charges into a boot but he lures Thrasher in to prevent a Headbangers tag. Mosh charges into a bearhug from Henry and what we would call the World’s Strongest Slam. Big splash crushes Mosh but it’s back to Brown. A middle rope elbow misses for Brown and everything breaks down. The Bangers take over….and here’s Kane to end it.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note other than a way to bring out Kane for the third time tonight. You know, I think we get it at this point. Anyway, there would be a triple threat tag title match at the PPV where the Outlaws would retain. Also, points to Thrasher here for gutting it out through an injury.

Kane breaks some people.

Rock is arrested.

Post break, Rock is still being arrested and Vince and company gloats.

Here’s Owen Hart dressed as himself in street clothes. He apologizes for injuring Severn a little over a month ago and states that he’s retired. Tonight though he’s here to hear from Severn in person. Here’s Severn in a neckbrace who says everyone knows Owen is the Blue Blazer, but Severn is here to tell Owen that he’s nothing but scum. Severn sounds like Goldust when he talks. Owen jumps him but Steve Blackman makes the save.

Severn is loaded into an ambulance and Blackman jumps Owen. The Blue Blazer comes in to beat down Blackman in a double team. JR has no idea what’s going on.

The cage is lowered.

Here are Vince and company. Vince wants to send everyone in the audience into the cage to serve hard time but instead he’ll just be wheeled down to ringside for now. To Patterson: “Straighten me out!” Patterson: “It’s not that easy. You’re heavy you know!” Boss Man is told to check the cage’s security with the Stooges. They all get inside and Vince says all he wanted was a cup of coffee. He tells the Boss Man to go and the Stooges and Slaughter get destroyed. Boss Man vs. Slaughter would have been a BIG feud in late 90/early 91. Vince tells Boss Man to rip off their clothes for some reason.

Austin finally comes out for the save to attack Boss Man and save the Stooges. Patterson, ever the nice guy, hits Austin in the knee with the nightstick and the beatdown begins. Shane comes out for another save but Vince tells Boss Man to let Shane go. Shane flips Vince off and here comes Taker. He goes into the cage and brawls with Austin with the Rattlesnake being too weak to fight back. Cue Kane for about the fifth run-in for this segment. Kane does his fire thing and the middle of the cage walls are on fire and it’s a three way fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There are two problems with this show. First of all, the matches went nowhere. There were seven matches on this show and ONE didn’t have a run-in or a DQ finish, and that match had one of the four people in it walking out. Second, nothing really happened here. Rock was thrown out of the tournament and we were told that Austin’s first victim will be Big Bossman. There’s nothing here for the most part and while the show went by fast, it wasn’t anything good or memorable at all. Bigger things were coming though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2012
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Cena is back tonight. That right there almost automatically makes the show better than it was last week. We have tonight and another week before No Way Out so it should be interesting to see what kind of build we get for those matches. Orton is gone so Miz has nothing to do which likely won’t be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Big Show’s dominance over the last week.

Here’s Cole to interview Cena. Cole says that Cena was knocked out twice in 24 hours and it’s his own fault, because he tried to be a comedian instead of supporting Big Show. Cena says that Ace was a bully and he had everything ready to get rid of him and the new GM would have rehired Show. Cole says that Cena caused all this and says that Show is unbeatable. Cena says Show wanted more money and turned his back on everyone.

Now Cole thinks Cena is jealous of Big Show because Show didn’t lose at Wrestlemania, nor did he get beaten up by Lesnar for 20 minutes. Cole thinks Cena is overrated now and that Show puts us out of our misery that we’ve developed after watching Cena’s matches for the last few years. Oh and Cena can’t hit him. Cue Ace now who says that Cena gets to pick his own opponent tonight. Cena tries to pick Ace about 5 times but Ace says that he’s retired and Big Show is NOT here tonight. Cena picks someone that is uninteresting, overrated, and that JR says is being shoved down our throats every week. You know it’s Cole.

Post break Cole begs Ace for mercy but apparently the people want to see Cole get beaten up. Oh and don’t call him Johnny.

We get a clip montage to summarize the Sheamus Must Apologize story.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cole is back on commentary. Ziggler starts fast and tries to take Sheamus down by the knees. Sheamus tries three Regal Rolls but only the third one connects, getting two. Dolph low bridges him but Sheamus pulls him to the outside. Sheamus blocks a ram into the post but Ziggler jumps over the steps that he gets whipped into. After a Vickie distraction, Dolph dropkicks him back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler kneeing Sheamus down and working on the shoulder that hit the post during the break. Ziggler works it over a bit more and takes Sheamus down for two. Ziggler goes up and after fighting off Sheamus, hits a top rope Fameasser for two. Sheamus shrugs off the sleeper, hits White Noise and ends Ziggler with the Brogue Kick at 9:09.

Rating: C. Well that uh….happened. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great, plus it didn’t really solve or prove anything. Ziggler looked fine, but he’s needing to get away from Vickie I think. There’s just nothing there for him anymore and he needs to move on and do something else. Sheamus having to come from behind like this is a good thing.

As Sheamus is on the stage Del Rio jumps him and with Ricardo’s help, puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Ace asks some schmuck for his coffee when Otunga comes up and says that Vince is returning next week to evaluate him. Ace seems surprised by this, despite saying earlier that everyone was going to be evaluated.

Sin Cara vs. Hunico

Cara speeds things up to start and spins Hunico around and out to the floor. Slingshow sunset flip is escaped and Hunico kicks him in the head for one. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a second and Cara escapes the spinning rack slam into an armdrag. Cara kicks him out of the corner and hits a top rope rana to take over. Handspring elbow puts Hunico down and after taking out Camacho, the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 2:30.

Cena’s favorite Raw moment is being drafted to Raw 7 years ago tomorrow.

Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenburg vs. Ryback

It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time. This match features more throwing people around and a clothesline to both of them at once. The double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:55.

CM Punk vs. Kane

There must be a winner. Cole is on the phone begging to be let out of the match. Before Kane comes out, Bryan comes out and gets on the announce table for some questions and answers. Has AJ gone completely delusional since they broke up? Will Kane destroy Punk tonight? Will Bryan win the title in three weeks? Yes Yes Yes. Kane powers him around but Punk uses the kicks to knock Kane to the floor for the suicide dive.

Punk hits the top rope double ax to the floor and we head back inside. Kane comes back with a knee to the ribs for two to take over. He pounds on Punk with sledgehammer shots and a legdrop for two. Punk breaks out of a bodyscissors and fires away with strikes but Kane throws him into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock and uppercutting Punk down. Side slam gets two. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Punk knees him down. Another knee sets up the bulldog for two. Springboard clothesline gets the same. GTS is broken up and Kane boots him down for two. Punk avoids the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker to slow Kane down. Punk goes up but Kane uppercuts him.

The superplex is broken up and Kane is knocked back to the mat. Macho Elbow gets two and they go to the floor. Kane rams him into the table and with the referee distracted, Bryan fires off two kicks to the ribs. Chokeslam is countered by the High Kick and here comes AJ. She tells the referee what Bryan did so Bryan yells at her. Punk uses the distraction to dive onto Bryan, but he walks into the chokeslam for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: C+. I was digging this and I was really digging AJ in a cutoff Punk shirt and shorts. The ending works I guess but I’m curious as to where the whole AJ thing is going, which I guess is the idea. Kane being added into this would let Bryan get the title, but I’m not sure where they would go after that. Decent match though.

Post match Kane stares at AJ (as well as kicking Bryan down) and AJ smiles back at him before he leaves. Ok then.

AJ tells Josh she likes when men look at her. She pulls him by his tie and demands he look at her. AJ says he might be her type.

Cole begs Ace for mercy again.

Video on Big Show and all of the comedy stuff he’s done over the years and how he’s being serious now.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This is joined in progress with Hawkins vs. Kofi. The champs are all taped up because of last week. A jumping back elbow gets two for Kofi and it’s off to a hammerlock. Off to Truth who drops a leg on Hawkins’ arm before it’s off to Reks. Reks gets in a little offense but misses a shoulder. Off to Kofi for the Boom Drop on Hawkins but Trouble in Paradise only gets two because of Reks. Truth takes him out and the spin kick gets the pin on Hawkins at 4:02.

Rating: C-. It’s very clear that Kofi and Truth are pure filler and that’s about the best they’re going to get at this point. Then again having extra teams in there is a good thing, even if they are just Hawkins and Reks. The match wasn’t bad but with only a few minutes there’s only so muchthey can do out there.

HHH’s favorite Raw moment is him returning in 2002.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s 10:45 so this could mean a few things. Ace comes out and says that if Cena can beat this man, his match with Cole will be No DQ.

John Cena vs. Tensai

Yeah he’s not a Lord anymore. He’s also moving faster now which is good too. Cole of course cheers everything that Tensai does as the fans are mostly behind Cena. Cena comes back with a clothesline to send Tensai to the floor and Cole panics. Sakamoto gets in some kicks and Cena is down as we take a break. Back with Cena breaking out of a neck lock and hitting a middle rope bulldog for two.

Tensai takes him back down and it’s nerve hold time again. Cena gets knocked to the floor and Cole says he should just quit now. Cole slaps Cena and gets shoved down by Lawler as a result. Cena gets thrown into the steps and Cole rips into him for awhile. Back in and the butterfly suplex gets two. Backsplash misses and it’s shoulder block time. Protobomb sets up the Shiffle and Cole is very nervous. AA gets the clean pin at 9:04.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this sends Tensai back down to the midcard. The changes they’ve made to him have helped him a bit but at the end of the day he’s still Albert which means he can only be so good and so interesting. Cena beating him is the right call though because you can’t validate having him lose twice in a row to Tensai, especially not before a bit time PPV match.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s No DQ. Cole tries to run into the crowd twice but gets pulled back both times. Cena throws him into the ring and Cole says we don’t have to do it this way. He sucks up to Cena and then takes off his coat and tie, saying how he’s going to beat up Cena tonight. He pokes Cena in the chest and tells Cena to not forget his name. Cena rips the shirt open and chops him in the chest. There go Cole’s pants and Cena kicks him low.

He slaps Cole’s chest and back again before putting him in a chinlock. Cena demands an apology to Lawler about the Mania match which Cole gives immediately. Now Cole has to apologize to JR who Cole calls his idol. Cole has to admit his love for JR’s Barbecue Sauce. “It’s slobberknocker good!” Lawler just happens to have a few bottles of it with him and it gets poured over Cole.

Since it was hot, here’s a fire extinguisher to cool Cole off. There’s steam coming off Cole’s head. The AA gets loaded up but here’s Tensai with the Baldo Bomb. That gets two for Cole and he has a bit of a tantrum. Cole slaps Cena in the back of the head and yells a lot before charging with the fire extinguisher. AA counters that and gets the pin at roughly 11 minutes. I’m not rating this for obvious reasons but it did its job well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s still not great but this was WAY better than last week’s show. Having less Big Show on this helped a lot and Cena being here at all certainly brought this one up a lot. The guy is just flat out entertaining and interesting which is more than most people on this roster can say. This helped me a lot with the build to No Way Out, and even with the iffy ending, I liked this about 200% more than last week’s show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Hunico – Spinning Mat Slam
Ryback b. Arthur Rosenburg/Stan Stansky – Double MuscleBuster
Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Trouble in Paradise to Hawkins
John Cena b. Tensai – Attitude Adjustment
John Cena b. Michael Cole – Attitude Adjustment

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 22, 2001
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Since I had already done the October 15 show I’m jumping ahead to this one (see the October 8 review for the link to the October 15 show). It’s after No Mercy and the major change is that Jericho is now the WCW Champion, having finally won the big one over Rock. We’re on the way to Survivor Series in four weeks which is the final burying place of the Alliance. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin retaining over Angle and RVD last night, pinning Van Dam.

Here’s Vince to open things up and he’s got Linda with him. Vince says that he’s been off recovering and has been watching Shane and Stephanie dismantle the largest wrestling empire ever. That’s not going to happen though because Vince isn’t going to let it. He needs a charge though and goes to kiss Linda but here are the kids. Stephanie tells the old prunes in the ring to dry up and blow away. Vince says they’ve thought about that but they’re not ready to go yet.

Shane and Stephanie have been handed everything unlike Vince and Linda. They got where they are by way of calculated risks. Vince is tired of the Alliance and the Invasion, so he wants to bring it all to a head at Survivor Series in a winner take all match. Shane tells him to take the bass out of his voice and the match is made.

Vince is tired of all the titles being with the Alliance so tonight they’re coming home. He suggests Austin defending tonight but Shane stops that dead because Austin isn’t here tonight. Vince says that it’s Jericho/Rock vs. the Dudleys for the WWF Tag Titles. Shane wants to fight Vince right now but Regal stops him. Linda wants to know where she and Vince went wrong. Oh sweet merciful goodness don’t tempt me like that. Their daughter is a maneater and their son is a wuss.

Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Ivory/Mighty Molly

Molly has the signature Hurricane music now. She offers a handshake to start but gets headscissored to the mat instead. Off to Ivory who gets double teamed by Lita and Trish. I never thought I’d like to be Ivory. Trish stays in now and chokes in the corner. Her offense wasn’t all that well rounded yet to put it mildly. Ivory slams her down and it’s back to Molly. A suplex looks to set up the Molly Go Round but Trish crotches Molly and hits the Stratusphere to put both girls down. Hot tag brings in Lita but Poetry In Motion with Trish on all fours (loudest pop of the night) is broken up. Twist and moonsault pin Ivory quick.

Rating: C. Trish was starting to get going in the ring but Lita was on fire around this time. The match was sloppy at times but the energy in it blows away everything that the girls today have. It’s amazing what happens when they actually have some fire in them instead of just smiling all the time.

Vince and Linda meet RVD in the back and Vince tries to recruit him. Van Dam isn’t sure but he likes just being RVD. Vince says ok then, but tonight he’s defending the Hardcore Title against Big Show.

Matt goes to celebrate with Lita but finds Trish in a towel (second biggest pop of the night) instead. Awkward chatter abounds and Trish goes to take a shower. Matt likes what he sees when Lita comes in. She goes to take a shower but Matt stops her so he won’t get caught looking at Trish.

Mick comes in to Regal’s office and thinks they should watch together. Foley has made Bradshaw vs. Hurricane for the European Title later tonight. He thinks there should be all clean finishes tonight and there might even be a Connect Four game.

Angle and Edge are chatting and Angle says he never liked Christian. Rhyno pops up out of nowhere and Gores Edge into a steel wall. Angle gets held back by referees.

Foley makes Rhyno vs. Angle for the US Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

Billy won the title last night over X-Pac. Kidman ranas Tajiri down to start but misses a corner charge and gets drilled by an enziguri. Out to the floor for a second but Tajiri misses a top rope dive. Kidman hooks a chinlock which is broken in just a few seconds. Tajiri’s rana is countered into a powerbomb for two.

A LOUD chop sends Kidman into the corner and kicks put him down. A spinwheel kick gets a near fall. There’s the handspring elbow for another two count. Kidman comes back with a DDT but Tajiri comes back with a slam. That’s not exactly what I expected but ok. Tarantula goes on but the Buzzsaw Kick misses. Sky High gets two for the champion and they hit the mat for a second, resulting in the Buzzsaw Kick and a new champion.

Rating: C-. There were some awkward spots in there and it brought things down a bit. This was so much more entertaining than the Pac vs. Scotty match, because it was MUCH faster paced and therefore more exciting. That’s my problem with Pac for the most part: he wrestles like a small heavyweight instead of a Cruiserweight, the latter of the two being FAR more entertaining.

Here’s DDP for a chat. He talks about how a lot of people (including the hometown Kansas City Chiefs) have lost lately but that’s a good thing. When you lose, you learn to eat smarter, train harder and to improve your lives. Cue Kane with slightly remixed music. Page says that Kane having a messed up face is good, because it’s almost Halloween. Chokeslam takes care of Page, because CLEARLY the way to get over a new character after the old one got killed by Undertaker is to have the new one get killed by Undertaker’s BROTHER.

US Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rhyno

The fans chant USA and Heyman finally asks the important question: are you sure they’re cheering for Angle? Rhyno is from Michigan, which is in the USA. Angle immediately grabs a German but he can’t roll them. He can however hit a belly to belly, followed by punches and chops in the corner. A cross body gets two. Rhyno comes back with a freaking airplane spin into a TKO for two.

Rhyno puts him in Shattered Dreams position but spears him in the corner instead. Angle makes a brief comeback but walks into a spinebuster for two. Out to the floor and Angle rams him into various things. Back in Rhyno takes him down again and hooks a quick chinlock but Angle quickly gets out and hooks the ankle but Rhyno escapes. Back to the chinlock followed by a belly to belly, getting two for the champion.

Angle sends him to the corner and pounds away, hitting another cross body for two. An overhead belly to belly sends Rhyno flying and it’s Rolling Germans time. It’s a standard set of three but Rhyno sends him chest first into the corner. Angle Slam hits out of nowhere but Kurt can’t cover. The delayed cover off the belly to back suplex (that’s all it was) gets two. Moonsault misses and Rhyno Gores both of them to the outside. That gets two back in the ring and there’s the ankle lock for the quick tap out.

Rating: B-. This was a decent match as Rhyno continues to be a very steady hand to have out there. He consistently had decent to good matches every time he was out there in this period. Angle going from the world title to the US Title in two weeks wasn’t the best thing in the world but it worked here pretty well. Quite good match.

European Title: The Hurricane vs. Bradshaw

Hurricane keeps doing his posing and Bradshaw keeps knocking him down. Out to the floor and Molly glares at him. Hurricane tries a dive but Bradshaw….”catches” him I guess you could say, in a fall away slam. By that I mean he tries to and drops Hurricane down on the floor. Back in the ring and Hurricane hits a superkick but it can’t even put Bradshaw down. Suplex is countered by Bradshaw and both guys are down. A neckbreaker puts Hurricane down and Molly dives at Bradshaw which goes as well as you would expect. There’s the fall away slam for her and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the title. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

Foley makes fun of Regal in the back and wins Connect Four.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Booker T/Test

Taker and Test start us off and Taker will have none of these punches in the corner. A big boot and a clothesline put Taker down and it’s off to Booker. Side slam and knee drop combine for no cover by Booker. Taker comes back with a clothesline and it’s off to Kane. Booker kicks him down and it’s off to Test. This is your usual power brawl so far. Taker comes in and does his arm lift to Booker but walks into a big boot from the Canadian.

Out to the floor and Booker rams him into the steps. Back in and the beating continues. Yes, Undertaker is actually selling some of this stuff. The ax kick misses and the side kick is caught in a slam move. Double tag brings in Test and Kane with the masked one cleaning house. Kane hits a big boot to both guys but Booker breaks up the chokeslam to Test. Booker and Taker go to the floor as the other two hit big boots at the same time. Chokeslam to Booker and after Taker saves Kane from the pumphandle slam, the Tombstone by Kane pins Test.

Rating: D. The ending was decent but man was the rest of this dull. The match wasn’t bad I guess, but this is the same thing we’ve seen time after time which doesn’t make it interesting. All it does is make it repetitive and clear that they have no idea what to do with these four guys or anyone else they’ve had out there in this position.

RVD and Big Show don’t say anything to each other.

Hardcore Title; Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show

RVD is defending. Show immediately knocks him down as the RVD chants get louder and louder. He crushes Van Dam in the corner and a big boot puts him down. There go the straps but the chokeslam is countered by a high kick. Van Dam gets draped over the top rope and we go to the floor. Rob manages to get to the corner and hits a kick off the apron to slow Big Show down. Here come the weapons but Show starts crushing him again. Trashcan lid shot does nothing so RVD grabs a fire extinguisher. Show gets a chair to block it but takes the Van Daminator and Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until the end where Van Dam hit two moves out of nowhere to retain. That being said the ending was at least a smart one with there being a reason for Show to have a chair in front of his face, which hardly ever happened. Nothing great here but it could have been a lot worse.

Maven is at WWF New York and says he’s going to the WWF farm system when Taz beats him up.

Foley makes Taz vs. Snow for Smackdown before taking some jabs at Regal.

Jericho is in the back when Rock comes in. Rock congratulates the new champion on winning the big one. He’ll be coming back for his title though. Jericho insists he’s still WWF after Rock accuses him of defecting for some reason. Rock goes to leave but Jericho stops him to give him the name plate from when Rock was WCW Champion. Rock has a gift for him too: a chair for when they have a rematch so Jericho can have a chance. Jericho won with a chair shot last night. See how easy this was? The chair was a focal point of their feud and it comes back here. That’s not hard!

WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho/The Rock

Jericho and D-Von get us started with Jericho speeding things up. Middle rope dropkick gets two and it’s off to Rock. DDT gets two as well. Off to Bubba who hits a side slam for two. Rock comes back with a Samoan Drop for the same before tagging the new champ back in. D-Von comes back in as JR criticizes WCW for never giving Jericho a title match. Rock comes in with a glare to the Canadian.

The challengers are tagging very quickly here as it’s already back to Jericho. Stacy offers a distraction to allow the Doomsday Device to shift the momentum. D-Von hooks a chinlock and talks to Jericho loudly in the process. Powerslam gets two. Rock gets drawn in and the beating continues. Jericho enziguris Bubba down and it’s off to Rock vs. D-Von. Bubba breaks up the Elbow but Rock nips up in a cool spot. The Elbow hits for two but Bubba makes the save again. Jericho’s missile dropkick hits Rock but he breaks up 3D a second later. Rock Bottom to D-Von changes the titles.

Rating: C-. Just a main event tag match here and it furthered the Rock vs. Jericho feud as well. It’s a Russo standard with the wacky partners so maybe he did have an influence of some sort. Thankfully this reign wouldn’t last that long and we could get back to Rock vs. Jericho tearing the house down again.

Rock gives Jericho the WCW Title post match.

Vince and Linda celebrate all the title wins with Vince wanting sex out of it.

Overall Rating: B-. Was it good? Yes. Does it really change anything? Not really. The problem here is still clear: these title wins mean nothing and considering WWF’s total and complete dominance over the Alliance so far, having them win three titles back in one night isn’t going to make people think that the Alliance has a better shot at winning at Survivor Series. Good show for the short term, but it doesn’t do much for the long term.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 8, 2001
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 9,204
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re 13 days away from No Mercy but more importantly tonight, Angle defends against Austin in a match with NO, I repeat NO, interference at all. You know, so they can guarantee interference. Other than that there isn’t much to do here but we’re getting set for the PPV too. Since there isn’t much else to say, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Smackdown where Angle fought RVD with Van Dam winning to earn Austin a shot tonight on Raw.

Dudley Boyz/Tazz vs. Big Show/Tajiri/Spike Dudley

DUCHESS OF DUDLEYVILLE! YES! Stacy Keibler is now managing the Dudleys and has the gray camo skirt and the tied off Dudleys t-shirt with the glasses. For me, this is the hottest she EVER looked, which is covering a lot of ground. It’s a brawl to start until Tazz and Spike get us going. Spike gets suplexed over and D-Von comes in, only to get taken down by his half brother. Tag to Big Show who cleans house. Taz breaks up a double chokeslam with a low blow and a kick to the head from Tajiri gets the pin in maybe 90 seconds. What in the world was the point of this match?

Post match Spike tries a Dudley Dog on Bubba but gets thrown to the floor. Torrie gets powerbombed through the table while Tajiri is forced to watch. Big Show got shoved to the floor in case you were wondering. Yes, six men were used to further Stacy vs. Torrie at the PPV. Let that sink in for a minute.

Torrie gets checked out in the back.

Here’s Stephanie looking great in a leather top and a short leather skirt and thigh high boots. She wants to know why it’s such a big deal that Torrie got put through a table when Jericho beat Stephanie up two weeks ago on Smackdown. We see her being put in the Walls and getting hit two more times after that. She’s better now and she thinks she can do anything, so she’s going to watch the main event tonight.

Cue Jericho to cut her off. We get the required Stephanie jokes but here’s Shane to interrupt him. Stephanie dancing like a stripper for her brother’s song is both nice to see and also strange at the same time. Shane says Jericho’s usual long list of insults for some reason and says he’s funny. Stephanie is freaking out and Shane says that if Jericho actually focused, he could be the top guy.

Instead, Jericho is a choke artist who does comedy relief. Jericho thinks it would be comedy to see the McMahons team up against him tonight. Stephanie says she knows Jericho wants to get his hands on her body but she’s not that stupid. Instead it’ll be Shane/RVD vs. Rock/Jericho. How much money was there to be made by Jericho turning heel and admitting he treated Steph like this because he was in love with her but refused to admit it?

RVD is watching in the back when Test/Booker come in to congratulate him for his success. Booker was happy RVD won but he could have beaten Angle a lot faster. Booker is a five time champion, which RVD says means Booker lost the title five times. Ok then.

Some chick tries to be DDP’s student but is clearly reading off lines, which is the idea. This went nowhere.

WCW Tag Titles: Hardy Boyz vs. Booker T/Test

The champs (Booker/Test) jump the Hardys during their posing time but the brothers clear the ring. Test and Matt get us going but Booker kicks Matt in the back of the head to give the Canadian the advantage. Off to Booker who hits the forearm to the head for two. Test comes back in quickly and walks into a tornado DDT. Off to Jeff who speeds things up and everything breaks down. Bookend to Jeff and here’s Lita with the rana. Twist of Fate takes down Booker but Test breaks up the cover. Test throws Lita into the crowd and here comes the Spinarooni. Undertaker comes in and hits the Last Ride so the Swanton can get the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a coherent match for a minute and then everything fell apart. The titles being switched again doesn’t really mean anything but it would set up Dudleys vs. Hardys again because we haven’t seen that in a few months I guess right? Pretty boring match but again with about 3:45 to work with and two people interfering, how much could they do?

Booker and Test fire each other up and say they’ll get the belts back.

Lita says they’ll celebrate later and leaves to run into Hurricane and Molly who chastise her. Molly vs. Lita later.

Christian comes out for commentary.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Edge

Rhyno is defending and charges Edge into the corner almost immediately. Edge comes back with an atomic drop and some right hands. Rhyno knocks him right back down and drops a leg as Christian gets off commentary. Edge goes after him and avoids a charging Rhyno, hitting the Edge-O-Matic for two. The champ hits a spinebuster to put Edge down and finally takes his t-shirt off. Edgecution hits as there isn’t much selling in this match. And never mind as Christian pulls Edge out for the DQ.

Post match the Gore misses and Edge spears Christian.

Rob Van Dam/Shane McMahon vs. The Rock/Chris Jericho

Rock and RVD start things off with Rob firing off kicks in the corner. A moonsault out of the corner misses and Rock takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to Shane who gets punched in the face, allowing Rock to bring in Jericho. Jericho destroys Shane and sets for the Lionsault but Van Dam kicks him down off the ropes. RVD comes in legally and hits Rolling Thunder for two.

Back to Shane because that worked so well for the Alliance team the first time. A jumping back elbow gets two for the Boy Wonder and it’s time to dance. An enziguri to Shane allows the tag to Rock and things speed up. Shane tags in RVD who is quickly put in the Sharpshooter. Jericho knocks Shane to the floor and pulls Rob out too, putting him in the Walls on the floor.

Shane comes out of nowhere to bulldog Jericho into the steps and I think bust him open. Back in the ring the Five Star misses the Rock and it’s punching time. He pulls Shane in for the Elbow but RVD makes the save. Rock reverses a whip into the Rock Bottom but Shane saves. Jericho comes in with a chair but blasts Rock with it by mistake, allowing Van Dam to pin Rock.

Rating: C. Not bad here and we get the start of both a big feud as well as Jericho’s heel turn that led him to his first world title. Van Dam beating Rock I believe would lead to him getting a title match (against Austin) on PPV in a triple threat. Shane would go on to do nothing new, but that’s probably a good thing.

The Alliance celebrates with Van Dam, but it’s in front of Austin’s dressing room, meaning he’s not happy.

Chris Benoit was at WWF New York last night and predicted Angle getting the win.

Lance Storm and Ivory are at WWF New York tonight and says Benoit doesn’t speak for all of Canada.

Jericho gets his cut looked at when Rock comes in. He wants to know what Jericho was thinking, to which Jericho says that it was to get at Shane. Rock isn’t happy and Jericho says even Rock makes mistakes every now and then. Jericho says he was trying to win the match which Rock isn’t happy about. Rock wants Jericho to live up to his mistakes, so Jericho says maybe he should have knocked the People’s Eyebrow off his face. Rock says try it now and the fight is on.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac

Pac is defending. He starts with his bouncing headlock but Scotty comes back with very basic offense. Pac gets sent to the floor but he kicks Scotty’s head off in retaliation. Back in and Scotty takes over again as this is going nowhere. Bulldog sets up the Worm for the pin but Pac’s foot was on the ropes. And there’s the X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was ok enough I guess but it’s nothing of note at all. It’s pretty clear they had nothing else to do here so they threw the title out there for the sake of filling in some time. Then again, did ANYONE care about this title at all? Pac had the WCW Cruiserweight Title too so there was no division to speak of.

We’re supposed to talk to Austin but it’s Debra instead, looking as white trashy as you can get while still being both white and trash. She says Austin doesn’t want to talk and asks where Regal’s office is.

Lita vs. Mighty Molly

Molly quickly takes her down and drops some elbows for two. She puts Lita down again and poses too much, allowing Lita to take over again. Molly wants a handshake so Lita punches her in the face. Handspring elbow misses for Molly but she blocks the Twist of Fate. Molly gets a bridging rollup for the quick pin. Was there a point to this either?

Hurricane and Molly leave on the Hurricycle, but tonight it’s the Molly Mobile.

Regal is in his office when Debra comes in to beg Regal to let her be at ringside for the title match tonight. Regal say no way because there is NO interference tonight.

Angle says he isn’t worried about anything. Austin gave up at Unforgiven and he’ll do it again tonight.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Debra comes out before Angle so Regal comes out to throw her out. He’s even going to stay at ringside to ensure that no one interferes. If you don’t know what’s coming by this point, you have no business reading this. They start brawling on the floor and with the arena mostly full of smoke. They head into the ring and Kurt avoids a right hand to take over with chops. They’re moving very fast right now.

Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle finger elbow for one. Now Angle hits a Thesz Press and more punches. That’s been the majority of his offense so far. Austin tries a kick to the ribs but Angle catches it into an ankle lock, but Austin immediately gets the rope. They go to the corner again and Austin wraps Angle’s leg around the post. Out to the floor with Austin going into the table and Angle going into the post in response.

Angle comes back and throws Austin over the table and peels back the mats on the floor. Austin fights back again to avoid being dropped on concrete and fires away with chops. Back into the ring and Kurt comes back as well but Austin rams the knee into the apron to slow your Olympic Hero down. Austin suplexes him down and stomps on Angle’s hands. Why don’t more people do that? Off to the chinlock which is quickly broken by a backslide from Angle for two.

Angle throws on a sleeper but Austin easily breaks that as well with a jawbreaker. Kurt doesn’t stay down long, so Austin’s shoulder is stronger than his head I guess? Now Austin hooks a sleeper but Kurt breaks it just as fast. A cross body and small package get two apiece for the champion. Austin tries a sunset flip of all things but Angle drops down onto him and fires away with punches.

Austin low bridges a charging Kurt to send him out to the floor. He goes for a chair but picks the one right next to Regal for no apparent reason. That gets taken away so Austin has to settle for a clothesline. Austin loads up a piledriver on the exposed concrete but Angle backdrops out of it. Back in the ring Angle gets put in a Boston Crab but makes the ropes relatively quickly.

Austin doesn’t like the decision to break the hold so he shoves Hebner. Angle comes back with clotheslines and chops and punches in the corner. Austin tries a double ax off the middle rope but Angle catches him in a belly to belly. Here are rolling Germans and Austin is in trouble. With the referee trying to get Austin to let go of the ropes he low blows Angle to escape. Angle Slam is countered and there goes the referee. Austin gets the belt but Regal takes it away, only to drill Angle with it. JR is SHOCKED, SHOCKED I TELL YOU! That only gets two for Austin but a Stunner gives him the title back.

Rating: A-. Another great match between these two but Austin came to play here. What’s often forgotten about him is how awesome he was in the ring because of how great he was at talking, but this was more proof that he was excellent in the ring. Regal turning isn’t needed at all as the Alliance already had two people with match making abilities, so this is just more crowding in that area.

Overall Rating: B. Good show because of the awesome main event (with NO COMMERCIALS) and the start of Jericho vs. Rock, but there were some holes in this. Regal becoming Alliance Commissioner was a bad idea because it just wasn’t needed and it made things even more complicated, but it’s not a huge deal. This was a good show, but they needed to make some major changes to save the Alliance, although it was probably too late at this point.

I’ve already done the Raw from October 15 so here it is if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 12, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,632
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and Austin is back tonight I believe. Vince is going to be mad after the whole rape thing that happened last week. Anyway tonight main event is Austin/Rock vs. the Brothers, which has to be awesome based on star power alone. Rock is rising quickly and along with Austin is going to take everyone with him. Let’s get to it.

We recap Vince’s plot to get the title off Austin over the last five or six weeks.

Vince drove himself here tonight. This isn’t a good idea for him as you’ll see later. The Stooges help him into his wheelchair.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Animal/Darren Drozdov

Hawk is here too, sitting in on commentary. It’s strange to hear him without the over the top voice. Hawk is officially the alternate at this point due to his past issues, but he says he’s cool with that and that he’s sober. Droz and Roadie get us going and the champs take him down for some double teaming. The DOA, LOD’s opponents on Sunday, jump Hawk at ringside. Animal goes to the floor and it’s a big brawl. Now the Headbangers come in and break a boombox over Roadie’s head. The Bangers have a match with the Outlaws on Sunday apparently. The match is thrown out.

HHH has been stripped of the IC Title due to a knee injury so tonight there’s a one night tournament for the title. No entrants are announced yet.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman is returning from an injury for this match. It’s an eight man tournament. There’s actually a history here, due to a brawl from two months ago. Shamrock starts fast and hits a powerslam before heading to the injured knee. Blackman is in trouble early on and gets caught in a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Blackman tries a quick comeback but it’s ankle lock time and Shamrock advances. Basically a squash.

Post match the Blue Freaking Blazer jumps both guys and runs away. Shamrock puts the ankle lock on Blackman again.

Undertaker is arriving in street clothes. Vince is intrigued.

We get a retrospective of Goldust to play up his return tonight.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Marc Mero vs. Val Venis

The girls that would become PMS are at ringside too. Val runs into a drop toehold to start but he grabs the arm a few seconds later. Butterfly suplex gets two. Mero comes back with a DDT for the same. Someone has arrived but JR doesn’t know who it is. Terri distracts Mero and the fisherman’s suplex gets the pin for Val to advance.

Jackie beats up Terri post match.

Paul Bearer with a briefcase was the arrival. Vince isn’t pleased.

We hear about Sable on Pacific Blue last night and Sable goes after Jackie. She drags Jackie into the arena but Mero makes the save.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Mankind vs. Mark Henry

Mankind gets Shamrock on Sunday and earlier today he said that Shamrock’s chair shots aren’t hard enough. Before the match, Henry has a love poem for Chyna. Here’s Chyna very quickly after the bell and the distraction allows Mankind to take over very quickly. Henry comes back with the power game and goes after Mankind’s leg. He goes up for a middle rope splash but Foley gets out of the way. There’s the double arm DDT and he takes his shoe off to get to Mr. Socko. Well that didn’t take long. Mankind still has the piano music.

Post match Chyna tries to ask why but Henry says it’s out of his hands and leaves.

Austin drives up in a cement truck. The Stooges say they’ll go look at it and Slaughter falls on Vince’s bad leg on the way.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Jarrett jumps Pac to start and pounds away on him for a bit but X-Pac comes back with a spin kick (clearly missing by 4 inches) and a flipping clothesline. Pack loads up a superplex but gets knocked to the mat. Small package gets two for Jarrett, as does a powerslam. Pac fires off the kicks in the corner but the referee goes down too. Bronco Buster is countered by a boot to the groin and Jeff goes for the guitar. Instead he finds Head in the case, allowing Pac to roll Jarrett up to advance.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here but it wasn’t bad. The idea here was about pushing Snow vs. Jarrett in a feud that was pretty much out of nowhere. There was a story to Pac and Jarrett due to a feud from a few months ago, so this wasn’t all that bad. It was way too short to mean much of anything though.

The remaining brackets:

Ken Shamrock
Val Venis

Mankind
X-Pac

Austin pours cement into Vince’s Corvette in a classic moment.

Here’s Austin in the arena to a big pop. He says on Sunday, he’ll beat them both up and then raise his own hand whether Vince likes it or not. Cue Vince in wheelchair with attack dogs behind him. Austin can’t quite go at them so Vince yells and makes Austin/Rock vs. Kane/Undertaker.

Vince says Austin is going to need eyes in the back of his head. Austin shouts at Vince and Vince breaks down, talking about how bad his last three weeks have been, including the Zamboni, his ankle being broken, the hospital stuff, and now the car being destroyed. Vince says if Austin doesn’t raise the winner’s hand, he’s fired. Austin says Vince doesn’t have the balls to do that but Vince says he’ll humble Austin one way or another.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Shamrock jumps Val during his entrance and throws him into the steps before the bell. Into the ring and there’s the bell, but Shamrock has a huge advantage. Shamrock works on the back and puts on a reverse chinlock which he releases very quickly. Val hits a big boot but Shamrock kind of no sells it in a weird way. Ken comes back with a pair of suplexes and then a Boston Crab. Val FINALLY makes a rope before starting a comeback. He has to bump and grind though so his big boot only gets two. Shamrock quickly chop blocks him and the ankle lock puts him in the finals.

Rating: D. Again this was more or less just a squash. Shamrock has steamrolled everyone in his matches so far tonight and it would make sense to have him win at this point. The match wasn’t all that entertaining and I wasn’t a fan of all the back work before we finally got a chop block and an ankle hold for the win. To be fair though it lasted five minutes so how much can I complain?

Before Val can get up Goldust returns and does his mind games with Val before hitting Shattered Dreams.

Mick tries to console Vince about his car and tries to get the briefcase and the keys out of the car full of cement.

Rock says he isn’t worried about the Brothers because he’s beaten both of them, which makes him #1 contender. He doesn’t like being Austin’s partner, and here are Henry and Brown to complain about Rock not being partners with one of them. Rock says shut up and that’s about it.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: X-Pac vs. Mankind

Mankind suplexes out of a headlock and pounds on Pac in the corner. They go to the other corner but X-Pac hits a spin kick out of the corner. They head outside and Mankind grabs a chair which is dropped pretty quickly. A kick in the corner drops Mankind and ther’es the Bronco Buster. Foley comes back with a forearm and hits a neckbreaker on the floor, but here’s Shamrock. He pops Mankind in the previously injured knee with a chair, allowing Pac to roll him up for the easy win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get anywhere, but flash back with me to the review of last week’s show. This is another great case of matches between guys of completely different styles. There are still differences today, but rarely are they this striking. The match was ok but the ending didn’t help it much.

Post match Shamrock destroys Pac with a neck hold and we go to a break before the match.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. X-Pac

HHH is on commentary. Pac can barely move but keeps fighting as much as he can. Shamrock stays on the neck including a dragon sleeper while Shamrock is on the floor and Pac is on mat. X-Pac comes back with a pair of spin kicks but he can’t follow up on the cover. There’s the Bronco Buster but again he can’t follow up. There’s the ankle lock but we get a rope break. The hold goes on again and this time it’s over, giving the title to Shamrock.

Rating: D. The problem again here, and this isn’t their fault, is that having about four minutes just isn’t enough. The idea here was that with Pac being so hurt the match wasn’t entirely fair, but Shamrock will take it because he’s becoming evil. For his three matches, Shamrock only wrestled less than fifteen minutes. That’s not a bad night’s work.

Kane/The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin/The Rock

Ok so apparently Rock IS #1 contender. I think what messed me up last week was that he was #1 contender to a title that had no owner, so I thought Kane and Undertaker would be considered the contenders. Say it with me: it’s a brawl to start. Kane and Austin go to the floor while Rock beats up Undertaker. Austin and Rock double team Taker down but he sits up. We start with Austin and Undertaker while Kane is on the floor.

Here comes Paul Bearer, which is good as I had forgotten he was here. Taker hits a clothesline for two before working over the arm. Austin comes back and wraps Taker’s leg around the post before tagging in Rock. He loads up the People’s Elbow but Taker sits up. Rock kicks him right back down before hitting the elbow in a move that I’m sure has been on highlight reels before.

Kane distracts Rock so Taker can hit a HUGE chokeslam. Off to Kane now as Brown and Henry come out too. Back to Taker for some choking and then to Kane again. Rock finally comes back with a DDT as the referee tells them seven minutes left. Kane blocks the tag and drapes Rock over the top before tagging in Taker again. Kane hammers on Rock on the floor but comes back in for a Samoan Drop.

A double tag brings in Austin to face Undertaker again and things pick up. Austin can’t quite drop him as Henry and Brown beat down Rock on the floor. Austin gets caught in the ropes and Taker pounds away. That doesn’t last long as Austin escapes and hits a clothesline for two. Thesz Press is broken up by Kane and the security guard from earlier with the dogs run in and hits Austin with a stick before unmasking to reveal Big Bossman. The match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that sounds better on paper than in reality. This was more about Austin getting beaten down by Vince’s guy which is ok, especially when the main event on Sunday is about Austin vs. Vince with the title and the Brothers being thrown in. Not a bad match but the important thing here again is to have Rock rubbing elbows with these top guys.

Austin gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to rate because of the tournament sucking up the middle of the show. The matches weren’t good but they had to do it at some point given HHH’s injury. It’s interesting looking at the main event scene here as it’s clearly all about Vince vs. Austin and everything else is thrown in on the side. The perk though is that the main feud is so awesome and works so well that it’s easily accepted. Not a horrible show here but the tournament hurt it a lot.

Here’s Judgment Day if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 5, 1998
Location: Breslin Arena, East Lansing, Michigan
Attendance: 9,846
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s another week closer to Judgment Day and we have two Raws left before we get there. Tonight we’ll likely hear more about the main event for the PPV which is Austin refereeing Taker vs. Kane for the vacant world title. You know that’s going to rival a Thesz vs. Gotch classic for basic wrestling skills of course. Anyway there isn’t much else announced for that show so let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Taker and Kane breaking Vince’s leg/ankle last week.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

Pac is defending and he’s coming out before JR can even welcome us to the show. Brown charges right into a spin kick but he comes back with a powerslam. Legdrop hits Pac and a leg lariat gets two. Off to the chinlock and Brown yells at the crowd. He always was good at that. Someone serves Chyna with papers and Henry is smiling.

The champ fights out of the hold and hits a belly to back suplex. His elbow misses and Brown hits one of his own off the middle rope for two. Side slam gets the same. The Low Down misses and it’s slugout time. Pac speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster, but Henry trips him up and rams Pac’s back into the post. That and the Low Down gives us a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it was more about building up the DX problems as Chyna didn’t help Pac out for no apparent reason. Brown would hold onto the title for awhile until the title fell into obscurity. You know, as in more than it already was at this point. I’ve always been a fan of Brown’s work so I can’t complain much here. Decent opener.

Vince is in a hospital bed and complaining about getting the wrong kind of juice. OH IT’S THIS SHOW!!!

The Oddities played football earlier today.

Here are the Headbangers who apparently aren’t scheduled right now. They call out the Insane Clown Posse and I can easily see why I’ve never heard them cut a promo before. The Oddities come out but the Headbangers want the Clowns.

Headbangers vs. Insane Clown Posse

Please make it short. The Oddities have to go to the back and the Clowns come in. I’m not sure if this is an official match or not. Shaggy takes a flapjack and it’s a double suplex for Jay. There’s no tagging so far at all. There’s a Super Bomb for Shaggy and Thrasher gets a chair. The Clowns get laid out with chairs and it’s a big beatdown until the Oddities make the save.

We see Austin looking for Vince last night with an ax in his hand. He took over the production truck and hacked the feed to Vince’s hospital. I mean that literally.

Austin had a metal CD. Ok then.

We get a clip from last week with the Zamboni attack and the announcement of the PPV main event. Vince called the Brothers handicapped (one physical and the other mental) and Taker threatened them. Vince flipped them off and the Brothers destroyed his leg.

We go to Vince’s hospital room and the nurse says he has a large visitor. Vince says no visitors and it’s Mankind. Vince’s heart rate monitor beeping in time with his panicking is great. Mankind gives him candy and balloons and has a visitor. It’s female entertainment. “She does a trick with a dog that you won’t believe.” It’s Yurple the Clown. Vince being given stickers and balloon animals is great. Foley says he has another visitor and it’s….MR. SOCKO!!! Vince finally snaps and throws them out.

Sable joins in on commentary.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

Sable says she wants the Women’s Title which would come soon enough. The whole Vince is Sable’s Boss thing is pretty much forgotten at this point. Vader pounds away on him and they head to the floor where Mero hides behind Jackie. Back in and Vader runs Mero over, sending him right back to the floor. After a Jackie eye rake it’s back to the ring and Mero takes over with his usual stuff. Vader beats him down again and a splash gets two. Jackie dives onto Vader and gets caught, but a Mero low blow and the Marvelocity (Shooting Star) gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Mero was only there as a surrogate for Jackie and Sable. That would tend to be the case for awhile as Mero never really meant much after this. This was also Vader’s last match on Raw which is kind of pitiful but he was so far past his prime in WWF that it never quite clicked.

Jackie gets on the mic post match because I haven’t suffered enough so far. She challenges Sable who gets in, but Mero distracts her so Jackie can jump her. Jackie cuts Sable’s hair.

William Regal makes his own orange juice.

Edge vs. Owen Hart

We hear about Edge’s younger brother, which is a new revelation. His name is Christian. Owen comes out in street clothes. Last night he tried to walk out on a match with X-Pac but got rolled up anyway. He’s distraught because of the injury to Severn last week. He says he’s sorry but he can’t wrestle tonight. Owen walks out and it’s a forfeit.

Post break Owen says it’s over and he’s done before leaving the arena.

Kane vs. Ken Shamrock

See, THIS is something you don’t get today. These guys have very different styles and it’s cool to see them clash. Today almost everyone but two people have the same style so you can plug in anyone. It’s something that really is missing today. Shamrock is on the verge of turning heel but he’s still a tweener here. He uses his speed advantage and fires off some strikes to take over early.

Shamrock goes for the leg but gets caught in a powerslam when trying a cross body. A dropkick staggers the big man but his rana is caught in a powerbomb. Kane chokes him down and chokes on the mat before a powerslam gets two. Off to a chinlock which Shamrock fights out of but here’s Undertaker to watch. Shamrock fires off a bunch of stuff but it takes the rana to put Kane down. Not that it matters as Kane is up to his feet first. Kane goes up top but Undertaker gets up and crotches him, allowing a belly to belly superplex to give Shamrock the pin.

Rating: C-. Like I said the conflicting styles were a nice touch here. That’s something you NEVER get anymore. We don’t have many power monsters and even fewer MMA style guys, so it’s nice to see something like this. Think about it: how many people work the same exact style today and how uninteresting does it get after awhile?

Val Venis finds Terri’s wedding ring. Guess where it was.

Val Venis vs. Gangrel

Val talks about Magic Johnson before the match. He starts fast with a powerslam and some knees to the ribs followed by the bump and grind. JR takes a shot at WCW by saying this is action and not two 45 year olds on the microphone. Val hits a big boot and here comes Edge. He gets in Christian’s face but Gangrel runs out to DDT Edge on the floor. They stomp Edge and the match is thrown out. Oh ok Val wins by countout. That makes sense.

Val and Terri make out in the ring but a movie usher shows up. He hands Val a gold envelope, the contents of which freak Val out. Cue Goldust’s music and the man himself on the screen. Goldust’s world premiere is next week apparently.

We get a clip from last night of Austin yelling at Shane on Heat.

Vince is in the hospital and wants another nurse and something for his pain.

Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett

They go to the mat and it’s a nice technical exhibition to start. Snow is like screw that and catches him with the trapping headbutts. He knocks Jarrett to the floor and grabs a chair but Jeff knocks him down. Slaughter comes out here, demanding the Head from the referee. Snow hits a kind of Air Sabu move against the barricade but as Al goes after Slaughter, Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. Back in the ring Snow hits an enziguri to come back and goes up but Slaughter crotches him for the DQ. Fun while it lasted but this was about Slaughter vs. Snow, which isn’t interesting at all.

Road Dogg vs. Mark Henry

There’s no Billy here so Roadie brings in a blowup doll. Lawler gets the papers that Chyna was served earlier and it’s a sexual harassment by Henry. Road Dogg takes over to start and hits the shaky knee for two. He walks into what would become known as the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the advantage. Brown trips up Dogg and a legdrop to the back of the head half kills him. Chyna comes out and drills Brown, allowing Pac to kick Henry low and hit an X Factor for Dogg to get the pin. Another short match.

Henry chases after DX with a chair post match.

Vince is in the hospital and wants more juice.

We go to McMahon for an interview but he isn’t ready, so we look at Austin’s Zamboni stuff from last week again. We get the attack on Vince as well.

Vince is getting hit blood pressure taken when Austin, dressed as a doctor, jumps him. Austin pounds on his broken ankle, hits him with a bedpan, and zaps him with the cardiac paddles. To end it he anally rapes Vince with an IV. To quote Punk: “SECURITY AROUND HERE SUCKS!”

The Rock vs. The Undertaker

They have a lot of time for the main event here. Rock is on fire and this is one of his biggest matches to date. He’s still listed as part of the Nation here but it’s really just in name only at this point. Taker immediately jumps him and the fight starts fast. The jumping clothesline puts Rock down again as it’s been all Taker so far. Out to the floor and Rock reverses a whip into the steps.

Here comes Kane to watch the match ala Undertaker in Kane’s match earlier. The distraction alows for a powerslam from Taker to stop Rock cold again. Henry and Brown come out but get glared away by Kane. Taker starts in on the arm and here’s School. Off to the chinlock which is quickly broken by a belly to back suplex. Rock gets thrown to the floor and the beating is on in the aisle.

This has still been almost all Undertaker and it continues to be as he slams Rock into the steps. Back into the ring and Rock’s comeback is easily stopped by a right hand. Sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Rock. Again he fires off punches but Taker easily clotheslines him down for two. Rock grabs an O’Connor Roll for two and a clothesline for the same. Big boot takes Rock down for another near fall.

Taker loads up Old School again but since you can’t hit the same match twice in a match, Rock arm drags him down. JR declares Rock the #1 contender for some reason. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for the Not Yet Great One. Tombstone is escaped into a side Russian legsweep and the People’s Elbow connects. The referee gets crushed in the corner and everyone goes down. Time for Kane but Undertaker sits up. Kane kills Taker in the back with the chair and the Rock Bottom looks to finish but there’s no referee. Kane slides the chair in and a Tombstone onto said chair gets the pin.

Rating: B. These two don’t do that well on PPV together, but man they were cooking here. Rock was on fire at this point and more or less would stay on fire for the next two years or so. Seeing him get beaten down and then fight back time after time, including hitting a solid Rock Bottom, only to get screwed was a nice ending to a good match. That’s how you give someone a rub by the way.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re clearly running on all cylinders at this point and it’s clear that WCW having stuff like Warrior vs. Hogan is merely a band-aid trying to stop the tidal wave that is Raw. With Rock on the verge of being revealed as the Corporate Champion and Mankind’s rise up to the top of the company, this is going to get great and it’s going to do it in a hurry.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 16, 2009
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,538
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Roddy Piper

This was a request and I believe it’s because the show is in MSG which is the major focal point of the show. I remember watching this live and reading a comment that said the star of this show was the arena itself, which is something that went well. The main event is a triple threat tag with Jerishow, DX and Cena/Undertaker. I remember liking this show at the time so let’s get to it.

We open with Roddy Piper in the back. Apparently we’re doing the Pit back there tonight with actor….Luis Guzman. He was in Boogie Nights and Traffic. Ok then. Piper talks about his Guzman’s upcoming movie which has Mr. T. in it. Guzman says Mr. T. isn’t in the movie. Piper says of course he isn’t BECAUSE PIPER DESTROYED HIM. What is with Piper’s obsession with Mr. T.?

Piper says he has the Iron Chef here but it’s the Iron Sheik and the Bellas instead. Guzman mentions Hulk Hogan and Sheik erupts. And now Sheik has the old school WWF action figures. That’s it, but Piper and company say “Live from New York it’s Monday Night Raw!” Ok that was good.

This is the final Raw before Survivor Series apparently.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

Miz is champion. He asks why the fans hate him. They love the World Series Champions, the New York Yankees. Miz says they bought the Series and the fans boo him out of the building. Apparently Miz didn’t know who his opponent was coming into this. Sherri Shepherd is here and for some reason WWE still thinks most of its fans are impressed. They have the old school entrance with the curtain across from the cameras. I love that.

Miz has a quick advantage to start but MVP knocks him to the floor to take over. Back in….or never mind as MVP gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade. Back in for real this time and MVP hits a flapjack to start coming back again. Ballin Elbow looks to set up the Playmaker but Miz counters, only to get booted down for two. Miz hits a boot to the ribs in the corner and the Skull Crushing Finale finishes MVP.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it wasn’t anything of note. Miz would be on the rise very soon and would be world champion in just over a year. MVP was a guy I never got into for the most part and his face run was probably the least interesting time of his WWE stretch.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella

This feud went on for awhile. Good pop for Santino here. He comes out in a New York Rangers jersey which he removes to reveal a Giants jersey. Make that a Knicks jersey (booed as they were awful at this point), followed by a Jets jersey, a Mets jersey (mixed reaction), a Phillies jersey (Philadelphia team), and finally the World Champion New York Yankees. The first move comes 90 seconds in with Chavo hitting Three Amigos. Santino keeps rolling away from the Frog Splash and here’s Horny in DX gear (remember that) for a distraction. Santino gets the rollup pin. Funny stuff.

Here’s DX who sucks up to the MSG crowd. HHH is sad because they’re not allowed to schill their merchandise. Shawn: “That’s right. We can’t talk about our new book which is available at WWEshop.com.” Shawn throws a free copy to Sherri Shepard, because I guess she can’t afford it. Anyway we need to talk about the triple threat with Cena this Sunday for the title. Cena has been saying that DX is going to implode on Sunday but that isn’t going to happen.

It doesn’t matter which one wins the title because they’re a unit. Shawn says they’ll compete at Survivor Series, but they can’t be torn apart. That brings them to Hornswoggle for some reason. HHH calls him out because he doesn’t like that Horny is wearing DX gear. HHH says they might let him join so here he is. Horny runs around doing crotch chops but HHH says come over here. He asks if Horny (and New York) is ready. They set to do the catchphrase, but HHH Pedigrees Horny instead. This would eventually set up the Little People’s Court fiasco.

Horny goes out on a stretcher. I’m still not sure what the idea here was.

We get a REALLY cool video on the history of WWF in Madison Square Garden. We see every major moment other than one that I’m sure you know of. Find this as it’s really worth seeing.

Piper is in the back and sounds ridiculously drunk. Jericho comes up and they trade a few jabs. Jericho wants something special so Piper brings in Masters to do the Pec Dance. The Bellas come in and take him away.

A guy from 30 Rock who is World Champion of Everything is guest ring announcer for this.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Melina is champion and Alicia won some battle royal. Alicia says to announcer her as the next Divas Champion. He says no and it’s now a lumberjill match with the members of the Survivor Series teams as the girls on the floor. Melina does her Matrix move and gets sent to the floor where the heel chicks beat on her. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Fox. And never mind as a sunset bomb gets the pin for Melina.

Usual post match brawl ensues.

Here’s Piper in the ring to a fairly mild reaction. Oh MAN is he drunk. He rambles on and on about all of the legends he fought (Hogan and Andre get the biggest pops with Andre’s being bigger). Piper talks about wanting one more match with Vince and mentions being fired after doing an interview on Real Sports. Vince’s music hits and it’s EASILY the loudest pop of the night.

Vince makes fun of Roddy’s dyed hair and agrees that Piper has done some awful things here in the Garden. The worst of them all though was to show up here tonight though. Vince makes some old jokes about Piper and says that if he beat up Piper tonight, his father and grandfather would be embarrassed. Piper says nothing of note and this is going WAY too long.

Vince says he’s looked better than every superstar he’s ever gotten in the ring with but there’s no match tonight with Piper because Vince is retired from in ring action. Piper says he’s been in 7000 car crashes and 30 matches. “Switch those around.” He goes through all the stuff he’s survived and says he can beat Vince. Piper wants it tonight and this FINALLY ends. I have no idea what they were going for here.

Here’s Sheamus who has only been on Raw about a month at this point. We get a clip of him retiring Jamie Noble two weeks ago. He issues an open challenge for tonight and no one answers. Sheamus goes to the floor and kicks Jerry Lawler’s head off for no apparent reason. This never really went anywhere.

Things stop for awhile for Lawler to be taken out. Striker takes over on commentary and we run down the card for Sunday.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

This is joined in progress after a break. Swagger hit a wheelbarrow suplex to take over during the break. Apparently this is a rematch from last week or the week before. Bourne counters a suplex into a sweet rollup for two. After Bourne gets in a tiny bit of offense, Swagger hits a powerslam out of the corner and the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the pin. Basically a squash.

Here’s Piper in the ring for the fight with Vince. Instead he gets Orton who is all evil. Orton says if it’s a fight Piper wants, he can have it. Randy kicks him in the big gut so Piper punches him in the face. That’s about it for Piper’s offense and the beating begins. Orton loads up the Punt but has to stop because Kofi is late getting to the ring. Allegedly that right there is why Kofi’s push more or less stopped ice cold after this show.

Kofi comes out and destroys Randy who tries to run away. They go into the crowd and the beating is on. Orton takes over and they head back to the ring. Remember that this is just a big brawl segment, even though there’s a referee out there. Kofi avoids the Punt and pounds Randy down again.

They head back into the crowd and referees try to break it up which doesn’t work at all. Kofi is like screw that and takes Orton up into the tech area. He puts Orton on a table after a HUGE shot with some metal thing. Kofi goes up onto a wall and hits a HUGE Boom Drop through Orton and the table. This was AWESOME but because of that mistimed Punt to Piper, Kofi is now the tag champion partner specialist.

Cena, the champ at this point, says that history is about to be made in MSG again. Undertaker would be a great partner, but he’s kind of hard to talk to. Cena starts talking about the handicap match on Sunday for the title before being handed a note saying that it’s a triple threat match instead. Of course he’s ready in case HHH or Shawn wants to ask. For some reason he says it’s true that the Ghostbusters once saved this city from a giant marshmallow man. After Sunday, they better still be friends because they’ll need a shoulder to cry on.

Big Show/Chris Jericho vs. John Cena/Undertaker vs. D-Generation X

Cena is Raw Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown Champion, Jericho/Show are tag champions, and DX is there because they’re DX. Also Taker faces Jericho and Show in a triple threat match on Sunday for his title too. You can only tag your partner here. Oh and it’s WCW rules, meaning three people in the ring at once. Cena, Jericho and Shawn get us going. Jericho tags out almost immediately, as does Shawn. Cena makes it 3-3 so it’s HHH, Taker and Big Show.

HHH and Taker double team Show with Taker clotheslining him to the floor and kicking HHH’s head off. HHH takes Taker down with a spinebuster and tags off to Shawn, but Taker sits up before Shawn is on his feet. This is their first time in the ring together since Mania. Speaking of that match, Shawn tries to skin the cat but Taker catches him in Tombstone position. Big Show of course breaks it up because that’s what you do in triple threats instead of letting someone be knocked out.

Off to Jericho who tries the Lionsault but Shawn counters. Jericho counters the counter into the Walls but Taker grabs Jericho by the throat. Cena tags himself in to a loud boo and HHH comes in as well. John stares HHH down and it’s time for a slugout. Show breaks that up with a double chokeslam but here’s Taker to punch him down. Jericho comes in to try to steal a pin on Cena but it only gets two. Little stat: other than in a handicap match, Jericho has a total of one victory over Cena: in their first ever match.

Shawn comes back in and drills Jericho before hitting the top rope elbow for no cover. It’s pretty clear that this is less of a match and more of a way of throwing everyone in there at once to give the crowd a good time, which is fine. Cena loads up Shawn in the AA but HHH tags himself in. Jumping knee to the face and the spinebuster put Cena down but Show breaks up ANOTHER finisher. Shawn kicks his head off for his efforts but walks into a Codebreaker. Chokeslam to Jericho sets up the AA to HHH for the quick pin.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything of quality and it really wasn’t, but seeing these guys in the main event at Madison Square Garden is just cool. The reactions were great too, and it tied into the PPV also with all six guys in the two main events being here. What more can you ask for?

Undertaker tombstones Cena post match, which has yet to lead anywhere but it might be used to set up a Mania match in the future.

Overall Rating: B. This show definitely falls more into the category of fun rather than good. The wrestling is just ok, but for the most part this was all about the Garden rather than the show anyway, and that’s just fine. It’s holy ground for WWE and for them to pay tribute to it like this is nice to see. Not a great show or anything, but it was fun and it set up Survivor Series pretty well, which is the most important thing. Good stuff.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2012
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn’t mean they put on a horrible show which they’ve been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.

The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.

Here’s Show to open things up. He says that while he’s a giant, he’s a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn’t have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.

Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that’s all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that’s it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.

Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.

Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it’s ok and that Riley won’t be his opponent. There’s a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger get things going and it’s off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.

Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it’s off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting more and more worthless. It’s obvious that Truth is there as a replacement for Bourne and that Kofi is there just to give him something to do. That translates to something very uninteresting, but then again the tag titles have had that distinction for years now.

Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he’s better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.

Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino’s face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it’s on.

Here’s Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it’s Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There’s something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE ’13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It’s going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.

Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he’s got Bryan tonight so there’s no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what’s coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.

During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn’t seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn’t work but Bryan’s high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.

Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I’m not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B-. I didn’t like this one as much but at least Punk didn’t lose clean. This felt more like they were just doing their signature moves for awhile until they got to the ending. AJ didn’t really add much, but her in an outfit like that is never a bad thing. Pretty good match here but nothing compared to the PPV one.

Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.

Christian vs. The Miz

Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it’s Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C-. Miz is pretty firmly entrenched as the jobber to the stars here and that’s ok. Setting up Cody vs. Christian is fine but I’m hoping it leads to Cody moving up. He’s gotten the IC Title about as far as he could and there’s nothing left for him to do with it. The match was fine.

Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve’s coffer and she spits it on him because it’s cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It’s supposed to be cold. IT’S ICED COFFEE.”

After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn’t for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can’t get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that’s that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.

Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she’ll see what she can do.

We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.

Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.

We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.

Brodus Clay vs. Big Show

It’s 11pm so it’s time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That’s nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.

He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.

Overall Rating: D. The show was decent enough from a technical standpoint, but my goodness I do not care about Big Show and whatever his latest heel turn is about (yes I know what it is). It’s about as by the numbers as you could get and it couldn’t be clearer that they’re just dragging it through to the summer for whatever their big idea is there. I was sitting here tonight waiting on this show to end. That’s not a good thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 21, 2012
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s back to Raw again and we have a full four weeks to build up to No Way Out. That’s the cage match PPV as they continue to try to find a theme show for June. Anyway Ace won last night due to the SHOCKING Big Show turn. Other than that Punk and Sheamus both retained. Odds are Lesnar will be here this week as we need to start building to the cage PPV, which is a natural fit for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s angry Cena to open the show. He says that he’s had a lot of matches like this where he loses and then comes out and talks about losing and then moves on. This is different though. It’s not about how he lost but the fact that he just did. Cena talks about how Ace has been a bully since he got here and last night Cena got to give him some payback for it. Ace ran and then Big Show threw him back and it was fun again.

Show threw Ace to Cena for an AA and then Show knocked him out. Cena is upset here. He talks about how people have been saying he should have just beaten Ace when he had the chance, but if the giant was already paid off it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If it wasn’t for the times when he had Ace in the STF last night, that would make a lot of sense.

Cena isn’t sure who the new GM would be (“YOU COULD EVEN BRING THE COMPUTER BACK!”) but they could have rehired the Big Show. But instead Ace won and it’s more People Power. Now we’re going to see some graphic and then hear from Ace about how he’s got a new plan or whatever and it’s crap. Cue Ace…..or rather Eve to Ace’s music. Cena: “Wow John you got really hot but you still suck!” She brings out Ace…..in a freaking motorized scooter with a People Power plate on it. Ok that’s freaking funny. She helps Ace onto a crutch and it’s time to talk some more.

He talks about how after the match last night he was sent to the hospital and he has some possible injuries to his clavicle, knee and spine. He can’t use his left extremities due to possible nerve damage but that’s ok because he proved that he’s a fierce competitor. If anyone touches him, he’s fired. Ace rehired Show on Satur……WAIT WHAT? IF SHOW IS REHIRED ON SATURDAY, THEN ACE SHOULD BE FIRED!!! Cena vs. Show, No Way Out, you know the drill.

Here’s Show to a lot of booing. He talks about how he doesn’t owe us an explanation and how last week he was on his knees crying. The fans say he’s a sellout but he’s mad about the lack of sympathy. He yells about Cena saying how dare you a lot. He’ll knock Cena out at the PPV and that’s it. Here’s Otunga who says he’s going to beat Cena now. Cena says he’s not in the mood right now so go watch Law and Order reruns because it’ll end badly otherwise. Otunga says ok and dedicates the match to Ace, which will be after a break. The segment was great until the HORRIBLE plot hole.

David Otunga vs. John Cena

The very angry Cena lets Otunga run away about three times and there’s no contact at all so far. Make it four times. Cena fakes him out and gets caught anyway by a bunch of forearms. Cena comes back with some punches and the beating begins. HARD clothesline puts Otunga down and it’s the AA into the STF at 1:57.

Post match Hawkins, Reks, Young and O’Neil run in for the beatdown. Sheamus makes the save, running over Ace in the process. So he’ll be fired right? They get thrown out and Ace yells at all four of them. Ace makes Sheamus/Cena vs. three unnamed people in a lumberjack match.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his aforementioned match with Orton. Instead it’s Santino who comes out to say that Ricardo is hard to understand. They talk about rolling R’s when you talk and Santino gives him the Cobra. Santino does Del Rio’s entrance and there’s no Del Rio. Instead we get a video about how WWE has 1000 episodes, which NOTHING else has ever done. Not even World Championship Wrestling which became Saturday Night which ran for over 30 years without taking a break. Del Rio comes out and Santino leaves….and it’s time for another commercial.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio counters Orton to start and goes right for the arm. A hard kick to said arm slows Orton down but the Codebreaker to it is broken up. Orton comes back with punches in the corner and sends Del Rio to the floor as we take ANOTHER commercial. Back with Del Rio hitting the Codebreaker on the arm and a hard kick as well. Del Rio misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Orton to come back with his usual stuff. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but here’s Jericho for the DQ at 7:20 total. I’m not going to rate it because most of that was in the commercial.

Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton, likely setting up their match at No Way Out. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does and repeats it for good measure. Orton gets up but walks into another Codebreaker.

Here’s Bryan who says that he made Punk tap. The footage is doctored to make it look like Punk tapped faster. Bryan says he made Punk tap and demands a rematch. Cue Punk who says that he beat Bryan 1-2-3 and shows us a clip….from Smackdown where Bryan caused Kane to destroy Punk. With that, here’s Bryan’s opponent for this evening.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

HOKEY SMOKE THEY ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE WATCH THE TAPE!!! Punk sits in on commentary. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and they head to the floor. Punk says he has to get a better look and picks up a chair, only to have Bryan pull it away. Kane sees Bryan holding it and destroys him. A chair shot to Bryan gets the DQ at 1:47. This was just there for comedy but I liked it.

Post match Kane chokeslams him twice. Kane leaves and Punk puts Bryan in the Vice to make him tap.

Post break Punk is in the back when AJ comes up. He calls her sadistic and she starts freaking. Before she can go crazy he says she’s the one that’s been a fool this whole time. She starts crying and Punk isn’t sure what to do. He hugs her and says everything is going to be fine while kind of rolling his eyes. Punk says stop crying so she immediately does. He says he digs crazy chicks and leaves. More on this later I’m assuming, but I love crazy AJ.

Christian gets an elaborate introduction before his match.

Christian vs. Jinder Mahal

See, THIS is what guys like Mahal is good for. Why don’t they get that more often? Christian hits the reverse DDT and a missile dropkick to take over. He gets backdropped to the floor and Mahal takes over with a chinlock. Christian comes back and now the story has been changed to Show signing THIS MORNING instead of Saturday. Mahal puts him down for a camel clutch but gets caught with the Killswitch which sets up a frog splash for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and it’s a good win for Christian. Not that beating Mahal means anything, but it’s nice to see a good little win to cement that he’s back. Again, do more matches like this one where Christian looks good, someone else gets some TV time, and you don’t waste a potentially big match for free on TV.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is watching in the back. Beth jumps her to start until Kelly comes back with her usual stuff. Beth misses a charge and Kelly hits her bad Thesz Press and headscissors. Geez shut up with the screaming woman. Handspring elbow is broken up and it’s a Glam Slam for the pin at 2:28. Ignore that Kelly’s face or chest didn’t hit the mat at all on that move.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai vs. Sheamus/John Cena

Yeah it’s Tensai now and he doesn’t have the robe anymore. He also walks to the ring fast now, which is a major upgrade. The lumberjacks are all heels of course. Sheamus and Ziggler start with the champ using his power to control. Off to Cena vs. Tensai with Albert moving faster this week. That can only be good for him. Swagger comes in to do nothing but miss his Vader Bomb and let Sheamus come back in.

Knee lift puts Swagger down for two as Ziggler saves. Dolph is sent to the floor and it’s champ vs. Tensai. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus beats up the lumberjacks. Jericho won’t let Sheamus back in so Tensai gets in a shot. Tensai pounds on him some more as we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing the Brogue Kick to Swagger.

Ankle lock goes on but instead of holding it, Jack tags Tensai. Sheamus gets sent to the floor for a mini brawl with the lumberjacks before it’s back inside for an extended beating. Fameasser gets two. Big Show comes out on the stage. Sheamus keeps getting beaten down by Tensai as Show talks about how Show was rehired this morning, thereby making it the latest official history.

The champ punches everyone and the Regal Roll lets him tag Cena. The place likes Cena this week. He cleans house but Sheamus gets jumped by the lumberjacks. Cena dives through the ropes onto them and the lumberjacks do the big beatdown. We’ll say it’s thrown out at about 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was your usual main event style tag match. It wasn’t bad but the constant Sheamus beatdown got pretty dull after awhile. It’s not a bad match or anything but the point of this was the post match stuff, which is fine, especially when you need a way to end the show. Not bad though.

The whole locker room runs out for a HUGE brawl. Show went somewhere. Cena gets to the floor and goes Show hunting. We cut to the back and Cena runs into Ace, who doesn’t know where Show is. Cena turns around into a BIG punch to knock him out and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show. It came off as much more light hearted which is a plus, but the plot holes that they kept trying to change got annoying. The main event wasn’t bad but it didn’t serve much of a purpose. One thing to note though: when there’s no legal stuff or contract talk, I enjoy things FAR better. That stuff gets annoying fast so not having it for once was nice. Not a great show but it was fun.

Results
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Christian b. Jinder Mahal – Frog Splash
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Tensai/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger went to a no contest

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