Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, Manhattan, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

Well since it’s the anniversary of this, why not do it? Raw more or less ended SNME which I’ll do that last original episode soon enough, as in about an hour from now. This is the show that completely revolutionized wrestling as it was the first show to be aired weekly on prime time cable. The production values were WAY up also as the lighting and the effects were stuff that was unheard of. We’re gearing up for the 93 Rumble which kind of sucked but whatever. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney who I didn’t think had a job at this point welcomes us to the show and keeps Heenan from coming in. This would become a running joke on the first few shows until Monsoon threw him out of the company. The arena looks small but cool. Rob Bartlett was a comedian from the Don Imus show and he is easily the worst announcer of all time but to be fair, I’ve read some comments from him since and he completely admits that he was awful, so at least he’s not delusional.

Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna

Koko comes out to what would become Owen’s music which makes sense as they were partners around this time. I wonder what’s going to happen here. They say their first swear word on the air which might be a first in company history. The tag line was uncooked, uncut and uncensored. I never got the uncooked part. How is that appealing? Bartlett just makes fat jokes about Yoko which makes sense. Vince is about as excited as humanly possible to be here. Bartlett makes jokes implying that Koko is Gary Coleman which is kind of funny but just out of place here. After Koko gets in no offense for about 4 minutes, the Banzai Drop ends this.

Rating: N/A. It was a glorified squash which is fine. I’m not sure how good this was for the first match in history but that’s fine I guess. This was just to push Yoko so that certainly accomplished its job. A lot of the earlier shows were almost all squashes so get used to it.

Ad for the Rumble.

We get a prerecorded interview from Heenan who talks about Perfect being scared of Narcissus, who was more commonly known as Luger. Heenan is WAY too excited about Luger.

Steiner Brothers vs. Executioners

The Executioners are masked jobbers as if it matters. That goofy clown as Vince calls him is at ringside and gets too much attention. Apparently his name is Doink. As for the match, are you really expecting anything other than total destruction? Apparently Mitch Ferhat, a former Buffalo Bill, is coming to the WWF. He never got there. The Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: N/A. It was more or less the same thing as we got a match earlier, but with two guys instead of one. This is fine as it establishes two dominant forces for new fans which is a good idea.

A woman says that she’s Bartlett’s aunt. Naturally it’s Heenan in drag. This simply does not get old.

Razor Ramon comes out for a “special” interview. He’s fighting Bret for the title at the Rumble in case you didn’t know. It’s exactly what you would expect it to be as it’s just Ramon talking about Bret and how he’ll win the title and we see a clip of him beating up Owen on Superstars, which is why Owen isn’t here tonight.

Ad for Headlock on Hunger, which was a charity thing they were doing at the time to feed hungry people in Somalia.

Tatanka likes the Headlock on Hunger.

Intercontinental Title: Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels

Max Moon may or may not have been Konnan. Shawn is just getting used to being a midcard deal so don’t expect much here. I don’t think it’s him here as it might be Paul Diamond, who was one of the Orient Express. We get more and more New York jokes from Bartlett that only a handful of people would get. He was great on a morning talk show but WAY off on a wrestling show.

They get the three un line here twice in one match as they try so hard to get that over as a tagline before they realized it sucked. Bartlett, in something that blows my mind, does an impression of Mike Tyson calling into the show from prison. This goes on over two minutes. Make that three. THEY’RE STILL DOING IT.

Seriously they did this for half of the match. Is this supposed to be funny or something? Am I supposed to be amused? After what felt like forever, Shawn hits the kick and that stupid suplex that he was using as his finisher at the time for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was an average match, but it had the DUMBEST commentary in recorded history. The match gets bonus points for being ok with those voices going though so there we are.

Ad for WWF Mania, a Saturday morning show.

Gene does the control center for the Rumble, which more or less is him talking about the major matches and we get promos from some of the guys in said matches, in this case Shawn and Marty. This is short but it was very effective at summarizing the entire show into a 3 minute video. Well done. We run down some people in the Rumble and get comments from Perfect. Ok now this needs to end as it’s about five minutes now. This was the first winner gets a title shot and it’s at 4pm. That’s just odd.

We have an Amish man trying to get inside. Guess who it is. He asks if anyone knows how to get onto the roof. I feel like I’m watching a Trix Cereal commercial. Also, WHERE DOES HE GET THESE COSTUMES???

Kamala exists and that’s about it.

Damien Demento vs. Undertaker

Who else would you get to main event the first show? Bartlett makes fun of Taker and I’m already tired of him. Demento is the guy that freaked out on youtube recently and freaked out about modern wrestling. He’s annoying as all goodness and this is his career highlight. We go over the matches for next week and that’s about all that happens in this match. The Tombstone ends this quickly.

Rating: N/A. It’s like 3 minutes long and it’s more or less a squash. That’s not that interesting.

Doink sprays Crush with water to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This started off ok but it felt like there was no flow to it at all. It just wasn’t that good of a show as far as establishing people like it was supposed to do. This show definitely assumed that most people were long time fans of the show and that’s not a good idea to do on a brand new main show.

Still though, this is one of those shows everyone should see at least once as it truly did completely revolutionize wrestling. Definitely take a look at it if you never have before or just to compare it to modern wrestling and see how much things have changed.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2011
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

With less than two weeks to go before Wrestlemania it’s pretty clear that the card is set.  That being said, it now means that the TV is probably going to get dull as all we have is padding for the upcoming PPV.  I’m not looking for a lot on the next two weeks and next week in particular.  Nothing that I can think of is announced for tonight, so let’s get to it.

We open with Good Old…..Michael Cole in a fat suit with his ankle taped and a bottle of barbecue sauce.  It took the crowd a bit to get the idea but they finally boo the heck out of him.  Cole has cotton in his mouth to simulate Ross’ voice issues.  Funny stuff.

HHH opens us up properly.  His entrances might take longer than Undertaker’s if that’s possible.  HHH talks about how this is the biggest match of his career and how people are finally talking about the match with the signs like 19-0 and 18-1.  He actually says the Streak is bigger than any championship.  I’m kind of surprised to hear that.  HHH wants Undertaker to be here next week for a staredown.  He talks about Taker’s song and that once the Streak is over, Taker is done and that at Mania Undertaker will rest in peace.  Weak promo indeed.

HHH starts to leave but here’s…..Ted DiBiase?  As in Junior.  What the heck does he think he’s doing here?  He talks about how last year he was a rising star and now he’s just another guy.  What would happen if he took out HHH right now on live TV?  Well at least he knows he means nothing.  DiBiase gets in a few shots but winds up getting beaten down to the shock of no one.  HHH beats on DiBiase with a chair and I guess this is to show how ruthless he is.  Pedigree through the announce table and DiBiase is dead.

Cena will be here via satellite tonight.  Oh there are a ton of jokes there.

Miz will be rewriting “Miz-Tory” tonight.  Ok then.

Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus

This is non-title I think and is happening due to Bourne getting that quick win a few weeks back.  Total Sheamus dominance to start us off here but Bourne gets a kick to put Sheamus down.  Since almost the only move he has is the Shooting Star he tries that and misses.  Brogue Kick ends this in 1:24.

Sheamus says he’s the new US Champion and is awesome.  Bryan comes out and wants his rematch at Mania.  Sheamus kicks him in the head and leaves him laying.  Gee remember a few weeks ago when so many people said Sheamus got buried and I said you were wrong and it wasn’t a burial?  Care to say that you all ran your mouths now and have no idea what you’re talking about?  Go ahead.  Anytime now.

It’s Wrestlemania Rewind tonight with Orton vs. Mysterio vs. the invisible and unnamed Kurt Angle apparently.

Back with Orton getting off a bus and having some interviewer asking him how he’s doing.  Orton talks about being on the bus and liking having his family with him and that he loves watching the video of him punting Nexus over and over again.  All we really get out of this is that he has a bus.  And I’m sure Punk isn’t going to do anything to that bus later.  Not a thing.

Maryse vs. Eve Torres

Non title again as I guess Maryse is heel on Raw and face on NXT.  She gets slapped down as this is about as riveting as you would expect it to be.  After nothing of note is going on, Cole AGAIN interrupts them on the mic and says he has something else to announce tonight that is special and we need to get this match over with.  Standing moonsault to Maryse gets knees but she hits a spinning neckbreaker to end it at 2:20.  Eve goes after Cole and his security takes her out.

Back with Corre in the ring as the tag champions are on Raw for once.  We get a clip from Smackdown of Corre beating the tar out of Kane and Big Show which was nowhere near as epic as they were trying to make it out to be.

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

It’s not a good sign that I had the non-champions names written in before their music hit because they’re the Raw face tag team.  Gabriel vs. Santino to start and Santino wants the Cobra.  He gets his head kicked off instead and it’s off to Slater for the chinlock.  Off to Kozlov as Barrett gets involved.  Slater gets a reverse DDT and the 450 ends this at 1:47.  Total squash.

Show and Kane come down for the save post match.  They clean house and leave Corre laying, including Jackson after a double chokeslam.  I’m guessing this will be at Mania somehow as all four faces stand mostly tall.

Cena’s interview is up next.

Back and we recap Miz destroying Cena to end last week and the last few weeks’ worth of shows.

Cena says that he’s injured and it’s because of Miz. Miz is impressive and deserves to be champion. This is serious Cena here and it’s rather short with one major thing being said: Rock and Cena in the same ring next week. They had to do it sooner or later, but I would have waited until Wrestlemania. Give the fans something very important to see.

Cole’s announcement is up next.

Back with Cole and Swagger running around the ring.  Swagger goes out in front of the announce table (which has been repaired after HHH broke it) and Cole talks about last week with Brian being here, which we get a clip of.  Apparently Brian Christopher sent Cole a gift: the Lawler Family Photo Album.

We get some pictures of Lawler’s father with Cole saying what Lawler’s father is thinking.  Naturally they’re all insults.  Cole says he went to Memphis this week and found out that Lawler and Lawler’s father are very similar: they’re both bullies that back down when someone puts them in their place, like Cole is going to do at Mania.  Lawler has Swagger two feet in front of him which is why he hasn’t charged the ring yet.

Cole calls the Lawler family a bunch of losers and Lawler snaps.  He beats up Swagger a bit and goes after Cole but Swagger gets up and beats him down.  Cole hides in the box and Swagger shoves Lawler’s face into the box while Swagger keeps insulting him.  Ankle lock goes on as does the AnCole Lock (and no I’m not making that name up) which Lawler taps to.  Mad heat on Cole and Swagger as we go to a break.  The build for this has been awesome to say the least.

Mania hype video which is pretty good.  Hard to believe it’s only 13 days away.

Cole apologizes for no apparent reason at all.

That transitions us to talking about…..Snooki.  DAng it.  It’s a recap plus all the media talking about this match and trying to use wrestling lingo while sounding like imbeciles.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Laycool and Vickie are with Dolph and Trish is with Morrison.  Ziggler takes him down to start but Morrison goes all angry.  That gets him caught in a neckbreaker for two to take him down.  Morrison gets going and hits a dropkick.  Michelle stops him from diving over the top and Trish fights off Laycool.  Trish winds up in the ring and it’s E-Mail time.  It’s now a 4-2 handicap match with Laycool/Vickie/Ziggler vs. Trish/Morrison which starts after the break.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool/Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus/John Morrison

Back with the guys going at it.  Off to Trish and Layla who both look great.  Michelle kicks Trish in the back to shift the momentum and bring in the tall blonde.  I think she got tagged twice but whatever.  Knee to Trish’s head as Trish’s pants seem to be falling a bit.  Back off to Layla as Trish plays Ricky Morton for awhile.  Off to Vickie who misses a drop and it’s off to the men again.  The girls fight elsewhere while Morrison misses Starship Pain.  He gets sent into the post and Ziggler adds a Zig Zag.  Vickie gets the pin at 4:00 shown.

Rating: C. With the girls looking that good out there it’s really hard to say this wasn’t good.  They’re trying to build up Snooki as the X factor here which is what she probably should do at the end of the day.  Nothing too bad here but nothing great, so average sounds like a good grade for it.  The ending was fine and no, Morrison isn’t being buried.

Sin Cara video.  I was a bit underwhelmed the first time I saw this but the more I see it the more I want to see him.

Various stars and legends talk about HHH vs. Undertaker.  The weakest name in there is probably Morrison so they’re having a lot of big names in there.  Guys like Race, Ross, Lawler, Cena, Arn Anderson and Austin talk about it.  Shawn says nothing lasts forever.  Arn says it’s like winning 18 Super Bowls in a row.  Not really but we’ll go with that.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Mysterio’s entrance is after the break.  Back and we see the Orton bus clip from earlier but the audio is messed up.  Rey is in the black and yellow for the Steelers color scheme.  He takes Orton down to his knees but the equally tall from there Orton gets a European uppercut to take Rey down.  Orton does an evil look and throws Rey to the floor.

Back in and Orton’s knee drop gets two.  Rey fights back and gets the seated senton for two.  Orton might have had a chance to block it if he hadn’t been falling down before the move hit.  Orton tries the elevated DDT but Rey counters with something like a slingshot through Orton’s legs which is one of the only counters that I’ve ever seen that was somewhat realistic.  Orton blocks the 619 and hits the DDT.

Orton preps for the RKO but Punk pops up on the screen.  He’s in front of the tour bus from earlier and says he can’t wait to meet Orton’s wife.  Orton sprints to the back (we’ll say the match ended there, meaning it ended at 3:45) and gets jumped by Punk who hits Randy in the knee with a wrench.  Punk says Orton won’t be punting anyone at Mania.  “Now ain’t that a kick in the head.”

HHH and Undertaker will be face to face next week.

Rock will be live next week.

Alex Riley is in the ring which has a red carpet now.  Apparently he’s been rehired (presumably by Miz) as Vice President of Corporate Communications.  He introduces Miz who apparently was the best man at Riley’s wedding.  Miz talks about how people used to come from miles around to see Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan perform and now people come to see Miz.

It’s his time now and while there have been Rock imitators over the years, his impression was the best.  He has more charisma than Shawn Michaels, is more dominant than Andre the Giant and is more intelligent than Rock and Cena combined.  He says that tonight he rewrites “Miztory” and he takes the mic cube off.  He holds it up and turns it upside down, making an M.

Behind him is a table with a sheet over it.  He and Riley pull it off to reveal the WWE Title with the W flipped upside down to make an M.  That’s the new title design apparently.  He hits the catchphrase and Cena pops up on the screen.  He points out that that’s kind of lame, which it is.  Cena says that the WWE Universe knows he’s not invincible and that they also know you shouldn’t make him mad.

Cena has a surprise for them.  Some people in Pittsburgh Penguins shirts pop up and take apart his walls, revealing that he’s really in the arena.  He didn’t lie when he said he was at home, because his home is here with the fans, just like he’s been for 9 years.  Points for being creative there at least.  Miz and Riley beat him down for awhile but Cena fights back.  Miz runs and Riley gets caught in the STF a few times.  Miz comes back but doesn’t come to the ring.  Cena’s music plays us out.

Overall Rating: D+. Yes this was a show based on building for the PPV but it was still pretty boring.  There was an extreme lack of wrestling which is understandable but it doesn’t make it any more interesting.  Not a horrible show but not a good one to say the least.  Rock is going to help next week but I can’t imagine it being anything great.

Results

Sheamus b. Evan Bourne – Brogue Kick

Eve Torres b. Maryse – Spinning Neckbreaker

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – 450 to Kozlov

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Laycool and Trish Stratus interfered

Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero/Laycool b. John Morrison/Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Morrison after a Zig Zag from Ziggler

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio went to a no contest when Orton left the ring

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Guest Star: Snooki

After last week’s pretty good show, we’re here with the first of the final three Raws before Mania.  With 20 days to go, things started to looks up last week as Miz got serious and Cena apparently is done talking to Rock.  Also tonight it’s Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus in a title vs. job match which should be fun.  Let’s get to it.

Oh and Snooki is here tonight too.  Dang it all.

We open with a picture of the Rock and hear him talking to the president.  He makes fun of Cena’s promo last week, saying it wasn’t funny and that Cena talks like a child.  Cena’s music hits and Rock says he’ll have to call the President back.  Rock talks to someone off camera, saying that Cena is a man for coming to see him.

And it’s a kid.  The kid is in a Cena shirt and raps a bit but Rock says that Cena has to talk like an adult.  Rock sits down and makes fun of “Cena”, saying that while Cena has run with the ball since Rock is gone, he hasn’t run that far.  At the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that Cena simply isn’t that talented.

Rock says it doesn’t matter how that makes him feel and Cena starts crying.  Rock says that the fans should be crying after seeing Cena’s movies.  The Rock gives him a gift: a box of Fruity Pebbles.  This is absolutely hilarious by the way.  After sending the kid away, Rock turns to the camera and turns his attention to the Miz.

They haven’t been introduced and Miz claims to be the most must see WWE Champion in history.  Well he’s the Rock, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment.  There’s this ominous music playing in the background at the same time.  Miz hit the People’s Elbow and insulted his family.  That statement means that Miz wants the biggest whipping of all time.  Rock says the time for talking is done and before Mania he will be on Raw.  Cena needs to shut his mouth.  The smack will be laid down, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Trish is in the back with Snooki.  Someone get me my gun that I don’t own.

All three commentators are here and Cole is in his own glass/plastic box.  That’s hilarious.  Oh and it’s called the Cole Mine.  Great stuff.  There’s no top on it.

Here’s Miz and we get a clip of three weeks ago when Miz and Cena won the tag titles.  Also we see the end of the cage match and of last week’s show.  In present time Miz says that Rock’s shirt says I Bring It.  That’s true as he brings bad movies, weak catchphrases and long diatribes of a has been.  Miz runs down Rock’s family because he’s WWE Champion, making him better than them.

Rock likes to make six year olds cry.  Miz says Rock should step into this ring as Miz will make Rock cry.  Rock doesn’t own Cena, the Miz does.  Miz says that he hopes Rock brings it here to St. Louis, but if Rock does he’ll be overshadowed by Miz.  The catchphrase seems to end the commercial but we have an e-mail.

Cole has to leave the box to get to the podium and Lawler blocks his way.  Apparently Jerry is going to read them tonight.  There are two first time ever matches tonight: one for Cena and one for Miz.  Cena faces Alberto Del Rio and Miz faces the Great Khali.  I would have bet on HHH but I guess they’re saving that for Mania.  Miz vs. Khali is next.

The Miz vs. Great Khali

Naturally Khali dominates to start.  Cole is already getting on my verves by ignoring Lawler every time he talks.  Khali gets the big overhead chop and locks in the vice less than a minute in.  Miz’s face being all crushed is hilarious.  Miz gets the rope and Riley runs in for the DQ (wasn’t he fired?) at 1:14.  Miz destroys Khali with a chair Austin style post match.  DDT on the chair ends it.  Miz actually BROKE the chair, as in one of the legs is hanging off.  There’s a gash in Khali’s back too which I can’t imagine is fake.

Cole is going to expose Lawler tonight with a special guest.

Orton vs. Ryan later.

We see the HHH video from Smackdown which is designed to make HHH look like a tough guy.  That isn’t that hard to do.

John Morrison is talking to Snooki.  Dang it he had potential.  She offers him a spot of Jersey Shore.  Vickie and Dolph come up and make fun of Snooki.  Apparently Vickie was offered the cover of Playboy.  Snooki makes a fat joke and blocks a slap to hit Vickie and we take a break.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

There’s a graphic with an American flag and fireworks for the US Title.  Cool.  If Sheamus loses he quits.  Gail Kim is with Bryan here.  Sheamus looked angry about the idea of the stipulation even though it was his idea I believe.  Sheamus takes over early as we talk about the possibility of the curse of being King of the Ring.  Bryan moonsaults over Sheamus and tries the LeBell Lock but Sheamus escapes.

Suicide Dive to the floor takes down Sheamus and a missile dropkick takes down the Irishman for two.  Sheamus hits the floor again and looks lost as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus in control of Bryan, mainly focusing on his back.  Bryan grabs a small package for two and sends Sheamus to the floor.  Sheamus may have hurt his ankle again just like last week.

He makes it back in this week but the Brogue Kick misses and Bryan grabs the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus grabs the ropes and tries the High Cross.  Bryan rolls through it for two and they slug it out with Bryan taking him down.  BIG kick to the head gets a long two.  Bryan goes up but jumps into the Brogue Kick which ends Bryan’s title reign at 9:00.  Sweet ending.

Rating: B. This was a good TV match with both guys coming off looking good.  Sheamus is arguably a bigger star than Bryan so it’s not like this is a major upset.  The kick looked great too so it’s not like some weak move ended it.  Good TV match too and it got some good time with some hard hitting shots.  Good stuff.

Cole says he’s going to commit Regicide (killing of a king) tonight and his guest is up next.

After a recap of last week’s segment with JBL, Cole and Austin.  Cole is in the ring and says that Jerry gets defensive about his family.  Tonight Cole isn’t going to talk about Lawler’s family because Lawler’s family is going to talk about Lawler.  Cue Brian freaking Christopher, looking like a slim Dusty Rhodes with a beard with a distance.  Christopher cuts a total heel promo, saying how Lawler never wanted a family or a son and when Christopher made it to WWE, Lawler didn’t acknowledge that Christopher was his son.

Lawler grabs the mic and says that he’s glad Christopher never went by Brian Lawler, because he’s a bigger screw up than Charlie Sheen, proven by him associating with Michael Cole.  Brian asks his dad how it feels that his son was at Wrestlemania before Lawler did as one of the biggest stars in the company as part of Too Cool (just go with it).  Christopher gets in his face and Lawler just sits there and takes it.  Cole says this proves that Lawler is a loser.

CUE JR of all people who says that Cole has gone too far with everything and that Cole needs to come to his senses.  Cole says that Ross needs to just go away and that he’s the voice of the WWE and not Jim Ross.  Ross has wanted to talk to him about that, because the voice of the WWE is that of the fans, not one person.  Lawler has been carrying Cole like a baby kangaroo in his mother’s pouch.  Ross says Cole isn’t cuddly like a kangaroo though.  He’s a rat bastard.

Cole talks about how this is what he always expected: Ross leaving Cole in his Cole’s ring like a coward.  JR takes the jacket and tie off and is ready to fight.  As he gets ready, Swagger jumps Lawler and then hits the ring to beat up Ross and put on the ankle lock.  Lawler gets up and hammers Swagger but Cole jumps on Lawler and puts the ankle lock on Lawler who taps.  Cole puts the hold on Ross and the evildoers stand tall.  Good stuff here indeed.

Edge and Christian get a tag title shot on Friday.  Cool.

Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan

Huge hometown boy pop for Orton of course.  Orton has punted everyone so far and this is the final one left for Orton to beat.  Punk is on the ramp of course and if Ryan wins he can be in the corner of Punk at Mania.  Ryan uses basic power to take over and hits the sitout Rock Bottom for two.  The referee seemed like he had to stop early there so maybe Orton missed his cue.  Ryan picks him up and another attempt is countered into the RKO to end it at 2:58.  This was nothing for the most part but at least the dismantling of the Nexus is over now.

Orton goes up for Punk on the ramp but turns around and sprints back into the ring to punt Ryan as well.  Punk tries to get in from behind but Orton turns and they lock eyes with both almost on their stomachs.  Punk slithers out.  Ryan is taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Snooki and Vickie from earlier and that slap.

Drew Carey is going into the Hall of Fame.  What do you even say to that?

Cole talks some more about how awesome he is.

Snooki and Trish are up next.  Snooki gets hit on by Zach Ryder and it’s totally pointless.

Snooki comes out and says nothing at all of note.  Way to earn that paycheck!

Vickie Guerero vs. Trish Stratus

This is No DQ all of a sudden.  Before the match Vickie yells at Snooki and claims that she was supposed to be on the cover of Rolling Stone instead of Snooki.  Trish works as a brunette too.  Vickie warms up before we get going here so Trish rolls her up for two.  Vickie runs to the floor and loses her shoe.  She gets it back and uses it like a sword.  Then she throws the shoe at Trish and tries to use it like a baseball bat.

Vickie gets spanked by the shoe until Dolph comes in for the save.  Cue Morrison for the second save and a big corkscrew plancha to take down Ziggler.  Laycool comes in and Michelle gets the boot to the face of Trish.  Vickie gets the pin at 2:30.  Just a comedy match here, and yet still longer and better than Hardy vs. Sting.  You knew I’d have to get a shot in at that somewhere.

Laycool gets in Snooki’s face post match and the fight is on.  Trish makes the save.  Snooki raises her arms and the tips of her fingers are equal to the top of Trish’s head.  Vickie makes a challenge for a 6 person/Diva/creature tag at Mania.  Snooki will do it.  Oh sweet goodness I need a blunt object to bash my skull in with.

Sin Cara is still coming.  That looks awesome.

Shawn talks about Undertaker.  I should point out that it’s 10:58 and we have a main event to go still.  Shawn praises Taker as he did HHH last week and nothing of note is said.  There’s an aura to the Streak apparently.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Del Rio grabs a headlock to start and Cena speeds things up.  Cole says Rock is here tonight in St. Louis.  Del Rio hits the floor and we take a break at 11:05.  Ok then.  Back with Del Rio getting two off an unseen move.  Double knockdown and they slug it out after getting up.  Here come the shoulders and Del Rio is in trouble.  Five Knuckle Shuffle but Brodus runs in for the DQ at 7:25.  Not enough shown to rate again which is rather annoying but that’s life.

Anyway the point here is that Rock’s music plays and HE’S…..someone in a bald wig.  That would be Miz I believe.  Cena beats up Brodus but the numbers catch up to him.  That’s the best bald wig I’ve ever seen.  Cena is sent to the floor and Miz beats on him even more.  A few mic shots to the head put Cena down.  Del Rio and Clay are gone.

Miz suplexes him onto the ramp to mess with his back.  Cena fires back but can’t get the FU.  Miz DDTs him on the stage and Cena is out.  Cena gets rammed into the big WWE sign on the stage as this is going a bit long.  Skull Crushing Finale into the same sign and Cena is out cold to end the show.  Miz’s face is awesome.

Overall Rating: A-. This was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen….for about an hour and ten minutes.  Starting with Orton, the rest of this show just fell apart.  Now that being said, it was still very good overall.  Cena/Miz/Rock is awesome at this point and the Cole vs. Lawler thing is going to be epic when it finally goes off.  This was a very good show and they got things going for Mania even more.  That being said, I loathe “celebrities” like the Jersey Shore people so that was a big black mark for me.  Other than that, good stuff and even more good building for Mania.

Results

Great Khali b. The Miz via DQ when Alex Riley interfered

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Randy Orton b. Mason Ryan – RKO

Vickie Guerrero b. Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Stratus after a big boot from Michelle McCool

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Brodus Clay interfered

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,744
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s wrestling light show tonight we’re supposed to get Cena’s response to Rock which he says will be a final knockout.  With Mania more or less set all we have to do for the most part is finish the build to it.  There are four Raws left before then and hopefully they’re better than last week’s.  Austin is here tonight too which should help some.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from last week of HHH talking about how his only remaining challenge is the Streak and ending it.

In the arena Taker comes to the ring complete with Johnny Cash music.  He talks about how people have been talking about how the Streak ends this year due to Father Time.  Or maybe it’s due to the Game, the King of Kings, Triple H.  Taker says that only one can be the Last Outlaw.  He shows us a highlight reel of the last two Mania matches, showing what happens to people that try to end his Streak.  The match at Mania is no holds barred apparently, and at Wrestlemania, HHH will Rest in Peace.

After telling us about Austin being here tonight we see Orton fighting off someone in the back.  It’s Otunga and Orton is double teamed by Otunga and Ryan.  Punk comes up and says McGillicutty is on the shelf.  Punk gets in his face and slams his head into what looks like a metal wall or cabinet.  GTS to Orton and Punk tells the two guys to take him to the ring as we go to a break.

Back with Nexus beating on Orton and then Otunga saying he’s ready for his match.  Randy says ring the bell.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

Otunga is in control quickly due to Orton being very weakened.  He pounds away and adds a slam for two.  Otunga gets his spinebuster for two which more or less seals the fate of the ending here.  He picks Orton up again and there’s the RKO to end it at 2:00.  Exactly what you would expect here.

Post match Ryan runs out after being thrown out pre-match and kicks Orton’s head off.  Orton fights him off and hits an RKO to leave him laying.  Punk comes out for the staredown while staying outside.  Orton snaps to attention and runs to the other side of the ring, punting Otunga as he gets up.  He did it so fast it was kind of hard to tell actually.  Replay shots the Punt looking great too.

Cole reveals his guest referee tonight.

Miz isn’t here tonight due to a lack of recognition.  That’s very true actually as it’s been about Rock vs. Cena.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Is there a reason this is on Raw and not on Smackdown?  Albert has Brodus Clay with his which is always a good thing.  Brodus has a mic with him so I might as well get this ready now.

Christian vs. Brodus Clay

Alberto says they’re going to fight but not tonight.  First off he has to beat Brodus Clay.  Yep I was right.  Clay takes him down almost immediately but Christian reverses a slam attempt.  Unprettier doesn’t work at all and Brodus takes over with raw power.  That would be opposed to Smackdown power of course.

He locks in an armbar which is very logical here.  There’s that T-Bone suplex but a splash misses.  A pair of dropkicks takes Brodus down for two.  Christian reverses a powerslam and a Tornado DDT gets the Canadian the win at 2:45.  Too short to grade but this was a good power vs. speed match which is the best kind of match.

Del Rio puts Christian in the Cross Armbreaker post match.

Package on Sin Cara.  They’re making him out to look like a big deal which is a good sign.

The newest Hall of Fane inductee (along with Michaels, Duggan and Bullet Bob Armstrong) is Sunny.  Oh yes this should be happening.  She’s the original Diva and belongs in the Hall of Fame.  Not a bit of sarcasm in there.

Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The bell is after the break.  Gail Kim is here with Eve.  Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick.  Cole talks about going to be on New Year’s Eve and waking up on Christmas morning.  That’s how he feels about introducing his referee tonight.  Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee.  Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri.  Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.

Rating: C. Even with the Cole stuff in there the whole time this wasn’t bad for the most part.  Eve dominated and thankfully they didn’t manage to make things look stupid with the Twin Magic getting by again.  It makes the referee and wrestlers look stupid so I’m glad it failed here.  Decent match here and pretty good for the most part.  Should be interesting to see where it goes from here too.

Snooki of Jersey Shore will be Guest Star next week.  Dang it all.

It’s time for Cole to introduce his referee.  He has a contract and whoever signs said contract will be the referee.  If that’s not a way to cause some issues I don’t know what is.  Cole talks about how he’s been a fan of this guy for years and how he’s a guy that’s going to call the show right down the middle.  The referee Cole has picked is a legendary Texan and the fans want to cheer him so let’s start the chant: AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN!  Cole says he fooled us because the referee is none other than JBL!

JBL talks about how Texas is a failure now with no championships in a long time.  Bradshaw looks slim here.  He talks about how until now no one has ever debuted in the main event, so I guess Lawrence Taylor and Mr. T. no longer exist.  He says that he’ll be an impartial referee and will return to the main event.

CUE GLASS SHATTER just before JBL can sign the contract.  Cole hides behind JBL so it’s a Stunner from him.  Time to drink some beer!  Cole sounds like he’s about to cry on commentary.  Austin looks down at the contract and up at the Mania sign.  With Cole crying that Austin ruined his night, Austin signs the contract and is the referee.  Austin goes out to Cole and shakes his hand before pouring beer on his head.  Cole leaves with one of the funniest looks on his face that you’ll ever see.  JBL gets another Stunner.  Hilarious segment with Cole cracking me up the whole time.

Back and Swagger says he’ll break Austin’s ankle.

Jerry takes over on commentary.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Sheamus charges to start but gets taken down and to the floor by Bryan where Sheamus seems to have hurt his ankle.  That actually gets a countout at 1:11.  Uh, ok?  Sheamus grabs a mic and says he’s on a losing streak but he’ll end that next week by becoming US Champion.  He challenges Bryan and says if he loses he’ll quit.

HBK will speak again later.

R-Truth vs. CM Punk

Truth grabs a rollup almost immediately for two.  Punk sends him shoulder first into the post twice and make it three times.  Truth tries to fight back and manages to escape the GTS.  A Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice (the real one, not some random hold that is called the Anaconda Vice) ends this at 2:35.  Total squash so no rating.

Shawn talks some more about HHH vs. Taker.  He talks about how HHH can do a lot and can go straight evil at times, taking emotion out of the equation.  Evil isn’t an emotion but rather a way of life I guess so that makes sense.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and we take a break.

Snooki is still coming next week.  I was hoping that was a nightmare but it seems not to be.

Vickie is here and Ziggler is rehired on Raw.  No real shock there.

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

Vickie is on commentary here and apparently she isn’t dating Dolph anymore.  Dolph dropkicks Morrison to the floor where he holds his knee as we take a break.  Back with Dolph in control but Morrison makes a bit of a comeback, even hitting the Moonlight Drive.  That more or less ends the comeback though as Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the win at about 2:00 shown of 5:30.

Rating: D+. Can’t grade this fairly but it wasn’t much of a match.  Ziggler needed a win on his first match on the show so I can’t really complain much here.  Not much going on here as most of it was commercial.

E-Mail says that Dolph is hired, not Vickie.  She’s a polarizing figure but she can have a job if she beats Trish Stratus next week.  Security comes and takes her away.

We get the third clip of Rock’s promo last week.  Cena’s reply is next.

But first, a look at The Chaperone!

After a final piece of Rock’s promo, here’s Cena to deliver the Final Knockout.  Apparently he struck a nerve with Rock last week and Rock calls him various kinds of breakfast cereals.  Cena likes the schtick but apparently Rock doesn’t like rap.  So tonight, Cena will do it in hip hop.  I’ve always wanted to know what the difference is so this should be educational.  He talks about how Rock was reading off a teleprompter last week and how the only thing Rock is beating is himself.   Cena was here last week unlike Rock.  Rock is a disgrace and needs to just show up.  He says he’ll give Rock a pearl necklace, which he produces from his pocket.   Cena has another pocket, this time with Rock’s new shirt in it.  “I Bring It Via Satellite!”  That was good.  Cena says not to call him out again because that’s bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Cena turns around and walks into a belt shot from Miz who leaves him laying.  It’s aboutt ime Miz gets involved like this.  He’s been left out in the cold which makes me think there’s no title change coming at Mania.  Cena staggers up and takes another shot.  Miz says he’s tired of being disrespected and every time Rock and Cena go at it, Miz leaves Cena laying.  Miz: “The Rock, John Cena, Randy Savage and Liz.  Steve Austin and Bret Hart, they’re nothing compared to The Miz.”  Those might not be the right names but it’s the right rhyme.  Miz looks into the camera and tells Rock he’s the star of Mania.  He says he’ll take Rock’s glasses, his catchphrases, his father and his grandfather and shove them in Rock.  Skull Crushing Finale to Cena and a People’s Elbow ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was much better than last week.  There was an energy here and a lot happened on this show.  Knowing that next week we get a Trish match as well as potentially more Austin and Rock and JBL, this worked rather well.  Mania is taking shape and it’s very fun to see the people that come out of the woodwork for the build to this show.  This is a show where the wrestling being light is an exception when they pack so much stuff in as almost everything had a point and wasn’t rehashing already established stuff.  Good show and I’m looking forward to next week, which wasn’t the case 7 days ago.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Hosts: Cast of A-Team

It’s Viewer’s Choice tonight so we get three hours and both brands. That’s always fun if nothing else and I have begged for this to be a TV special instead of a PPV like Taboo Tuesday or Cyber Sunday for the better part of ever so I’m happy here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bret and Teddy Long in the ring, talking about tonight’s show. Bret wants to talk about Orton. Of course that means cue Orton with his arm in a sling. He wants Edge tonight and if he doesn’t get him he’ll go find him. So if he doesn’t get him he’ll go get him? Yeah….that makes sense. Edge of course comes out and that’s the Viewer’s Choice main event. Oh in case I forgot, tonight is Viewer’s Choice. The options are a debate, a sit up contest, or an arm behind the back match.

Now it’s time to have our first actual vote which is for Jericho vs. Show. The options are Over the Rope Challenge, Submission Match and Body Slam Challenge. It’s one of those shows I guess.

Striker has the results. He’s actually good in a roll like this.

Over the Rope Challenge: 11%
Submission Match: 41%
Body Slam Challenge: 48%

Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

To be fair, there are at least two options that were possible there so that’s better than nothing. Show pulls Jericho up from the floor to the ring BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN. Jericho works on the arm for no apparent reason. He then tries a cross body and Show ends it easily. He throws on the Colossal Clutch and Jericho taps. And of course he throws him over the top too. That’s kind of funny I guess.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of a match at all, but it did the job. Wait no it really didn’t as nothing at all was accomplished here. Jericho is feuding with Truth…kind of, and Show is going for the world title. What was the point here? Yeah this was actually bad.

Up next the Hart Dynasty vs. YOUR PICK. It’s either the Usos, the Dudebusters or Khali and Horny. That….could actually go a few ways.

Usos: 36%
Dudebusters: 10%
Great Khali/Hornswoggle: 54%

NO FREAKING WAY this is legit. NO WAY.

Hart Dynasty vs. Great Khali/Hornswoggle

I’m fairly sure this is non-title. Khali and Kidd start us off as for one of the first times, Natalya looks great to me. Tadpole Splash misses thank goodness. Horny gets pinned in like 8 seconds. Oh this was stupid. The Usos run out and get beaten up for the first time. The Harts needed that one.

Rating: N/A. This was barely a match at all. The good thing to come out of this though is that the Harts now look actually credible against the Usos which is the most important part of this I think. If nothing else they look like they would have a fighting chance in a match against them which I’d bet happens at the PPV. Yeah I know that’s a fairly safe bet but you make a ton of money that way in the long run.

Lawler says something is wrong and leaves. Ok then.

We recap the Taker is dead thing which is at least elevating Kane for once.

The guest hosts come out and there’s just one of them. He says there’s a great show coming. Ok then.

Lawler is in the back and the other two guest hosts in fake mustaches are in character and say that Lawler wanted to hire them. SOMEONE STOLE HIS CROWN! They leave and run into the Bellas who they refuse to break character for. This is actually working for me.

Santino Marella vs. Vladimir Kozlov

The choices are Match, Arm Wrestling or Dance-Off. Hmm I wonder what’s going to win.

Match: 9%
Arm Wrestling: 7%
Dance-Off: 84%

Oh did you expect it to be anything else? Santino says he used to be a Backstreet Boy. Santino’s isn’t that funny or special. Kozlov does something similar to a robot. He’s actually not terrible. Ok this is sort of funny. Ok it’s VERY funny. They dance a bit afterwards and Santino gets slammed. Find a video of Kozlov dancing. It had me dying of laughter.

The Divas are in the back and they’re going to have a match next. The choices are 6 on 6 tag, Battle Royal or Champion vs. Champion. Wow those are actual wrestling matches.

Lawler is back.

6 on 6 Tag: 11%
Battle Royal: 73%
Champion vs. Champion: 16%

Divas Battle Royal

Again, I can live with this. Also it’s only 8:56 so we should step it up a bit soon enough. There isn’t much you can say here. Ah apparently going through the ropes counts too. Rosa is out. Tiffany is put out by Laycool. The same goes for Kelly. Gail hits a SWEET hurricanrana as nothing of note is going on. Gail and Alicia who have a match on Superstars are both out as are the Bellas. Laycool vs. Eve and Maryse are the final four. Make that Maryse, Eve and Jillian who I didn’t notice at all. Eve is out which is surprising. Jillian says they can be co-winners but Maryse throws her out. Boring but the girls looked good so there we are.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to rate but this worked fine for what it was. It was about having hot women in small outfits fighting each other. In that sense it was a success. This is also a good idea as the less talented wrestlers are allowed to not have to actually, you know, wrestle. Maryse winning was a nice surprise also.

Sheamus and Kane have a staredown in the back. I’d like to watch that. He accuses Sheamus with some bad acting. Kane says he hopes to see him real soon.

WHO SHOULD SHEAMUS FACE? Kane, Mark Henry or Evan Bourne. HMM! I wonder who it’ll be!!!

Kane: 88%
Mark Henry: 3%
Evan Bourne: 9%

Sheamus vs. Kane

Yeah this works. I love big men fighting. Sheamus beats him up for awhile. We take a break. Sheamus is still beating him up. Kane starts beating him up for awhile. Chokeslam is blocked twice, Sheamus takes over again. Seriously that’s all that’s happened and it’s taken nearly 8 minutes. Chokeslam hits but Sheamus rolls to the floor and he just takes the count out. Eh that makes sense I guess and Kane looked very strong here.

Rating: C-. Very smart booking here as both guys get to look strong as well as giving us a decent match. Again it’s not particularly good but it did the right thing. Sheamus needs to stay strong going into the PPV and Kane needs to look strong going into the big angle he’s in. If he plays his cards right he could get to job to the world champion out of this which is a step up for him.

Edge vs. Orton in the behind the back thing.

Cena vs. Swagger, Mysterio or Punk later. That actually could be any of them.

We look at Wade Barrett who is indeed the best guy for that show. And here’s Wade Barrett. He’s asked what it’s like to win NXT. He says you wouldn’t ask a genius about passing a grade school exam. GREAT LINE. He says in one week he’s going to do something that’s never been accomplished before.

DiBiase and Virgil are in the back. I never get over saying that. The A-Team guys are here and accuse DiBiase of taking the crown. IRS IS HERE, WEARING THE CROWN! Apparently the crown was taken for not paying back taxes. There’s a gas attack and the heels wear masks while the faces are out cold. Ok then.

Miz and Truth have a tag match next and you get to pick their partners. Here are the options.

R-Truth: Christian, MVP, John Morrison
Miz: Zach Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, William Regal

R-Truth/??? Vs. The Miz/???

A REALLY annoying fan keeps chanting MVP for Truth’s partner.

Christian: 29%
MVP: 17%
John Morrison: 54%

That’s rather telling, and THANK YOU for not being MVP.

Dolph Ziggler: 38%
William Regal: 17%
Zach Ryder: 45%

Well he has the best music I guess. Weird team if nothing else. Morrison is back as he hits all of his big kicks, but in a rather short match, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale (GREAT one too as Morrison’s head just bounced off the mat) on Morrison to get the pin. He signals that he wants the belt back. Liking the young four guys being out there.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but it was really too short to get anything going. Is there a point to bringing Morrison back to job him out though? I really fail to see the point to that but if nothing else it fuels the Miz/Truth thing which I guess is just starting now. I still don’t get the Morrison losing thing though.

Bret and Edge talk for a bit in the back and Kane accuses Bret of attacking Taker. Interesting little thing: Taker has NEVER beaten Bret clean.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

Remember that Edge will have an arm behind his back. Edge’s left arm is behind his back but Orton’s right arm is in a sling. Ok then. After about a minute Edge pulls the rope off and stomps on Orton’s arm. This gets the DQ. He goes for a spear but Orton gets a kick up to block it. Edge gets a chair and hits Orton in the arm with it.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle rather than a match but it opens a very interesting door as it’s now possible that Orton is out of the PPV match. This was a great idea and it came off rather well.

Cena and Bourne are talking in the back. Savannah comes up and asks Cena how he feels about he main event tonight. He says his life has been hectic and tonight the people make the pick and its their opinions that matter the most. The crowd is rather pro-Cena to say the least.

The A-Team guy wakes up…and MEAN FREAKING GENE IS WITH HIM! Gene makes fun of Josh Matthews who is right behind him.

Drew McIntyre vs. ???

The options are:

Yoshi Tatsu: 4%
Goldust: 8%
Mystery Opponent (does Matt Hardy poses): 88%

And it’s….actually Matt Hardy???? WOW. Drew says the match isn’t happening because of the suspension. Teddy comes out and says that he’s suspended from Smackdown, not Raw. Matt punches the tar out of him and never lets up. I like this angle actually. You can’t beat an old fashioned grudge match. Drew misses a charge and hits the post which POPS. Twist of Fate ends this clean in like 90 seconds. Post match he slams Drew’s head into the mat and keeps beating him down. Matt pulls some of his hair out. This was impressive for Hardy.

Rating: D. Uh…what was that? We build Drew vs. Matt up for weeks and him inside of 3 minutes clean? What was the point of that? Wasn’t Drew supposed to be getting a mammoth push and now he’s jobbing to Hardy in what could have been a decent PPV match? It fits but it’s just rather odd.

BA Baracus (Rampage Jackson) is in the back tied up and Virgil, IRS and DiBiase say they’re taking him to the ring. I like this actually.

Back from break and we’re in the ring. DiBiase says that he has a price, including him. Apparently someone wants BA…and it’s……RODDY PIPER??? What the heck? HUGE Roddy chant. Oh that’s right Piper feuded with Mr. T. WAY back in the day. Piper has a hat on for no apparent reason. He’s ticked off because he doesn’t want more hype over the A-Team again. He says it’s time for a fight and here’s the other A-Team guy along with Mean Gene and Dusty Rhodes on a golf cart.

Jackson breaks the handcuffs and it’s on! Jackson can actually fight of course so this is a massive beatdown. Dusty thinks he’s Murdoch from A-Team and plugs the movie……IF YOU WILL. This worked in the weirdest way you can possibly imagine, but it did in fact work. Oh and Lawler gets the crown back.

Next week’s host is the star of Royal Pains which Big Show is guest starring on soon. See what happens when you have RELEVANT hosts?

Josh is with the three options for Cena’s opponent. Rey says to be the top dog, you have to go after the top dog. Yeah that’s not at all like To be the man you’ve gotta beat the man. Swagger says it should be champion vs. champion. Punk just makes fun of Matthews and asks why Cena should get to fight Punk.

Here’s Cena and it’s only twenty minutes until eleven. That’s a good sign of a long match.

Jack Swagger: 23%
Rey Mysterio: 32%
CM Punk: 45%

John Cena vs. CM Punk

As a Punk fan, this works. Immediately Cena goes for the mask as you would expect. Punk is wearing camo tights. That’s just odd. The fans pop for Cena like a cherry but then chant you can’t wrestle. Odd crowd. Gallows cheats to get us to even and we go to a break. We come back and Cena starts taking over and goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle….and here’s Wade Barrett. Then all 7 other rookies show up and beat the tar out of the SES. Then they all get in the ring….and beat up Cena. What is going on here. AND THEY THEY BEAT UP STRIKER! AND LAWLER! Cole, of course, runs.

This is actually really cool. They turn over the announce tables and are all wreaking havoc. Security gets beaten up and they punch the announcer. They’re tearing the mat off the ring. Justin Roberts is getting choked out by Bryan. They’re destroying the arena. The ropes are torn up. Now they’re back to Cena. The ropes are literally falling apart, you can see the wood that is under the ring mat and they’re all clotheslining Cena.

Punk even tries to fight them and he gets beaten down. This is AWESOME by the way. Danielson yells at Cena that he’s better than Cena and spits in his face. Barrett hits his finisher on Cena, Gabriel hits the 450 on him. They’re all heel here in case you didn’t get the idea. They leave with Punk and Gallows out cold on the floor. This was original NWO level of insanity and one of the coolest endings to a Raw I’ve seen in forever. Also with there being 8 of them, that’s one heck of a force to fight off. Cena goes out on a stretcher but does the thumbs up as he leaves.

Rating: A+. The match was decent, but the angle was absolutely incredible. If nothing else it lasted longer than the Slammys match they had where Punk lost in like 2 minutes. I’m still in awe over the NXT thing which is saying a lot as it’s 7am at this point.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve heard a lot of negative things about this show since it aired, but this was a very successful show to me. Angles were advanced, feuds were partially ended and the ending blew my mind. I’ve been watching Raw since it debuted and this is easily one of the best endings I’ve ever seen. NO ONE would have called this and it came off perfectly. Good show overall and the ending was amazing beyond belief.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 28, 2011
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We have five Raws to go before Wrestlemania and the card is starting to have a lot more shape to it.  With the highest rating the show has had in over a year and a half from last week and a record high rating for Smackdown on Syfy this past week, things are looking good on paper at the moment.  Tonight we’ll likely see more of Cena vs. Rock to build up to some showdown in Atlanta or possibly even next year in Miami.  Let’s get to it.

HHH opens the show and it’s confirmed that he has Taker at Wrestlemania as he’s on his way to the ring.  Josh sounds a bit off tonight, like his voice isn’t working properly.  The graphic shown for their match lists Undertaker as The Last Outlaw.  Sounds like a weak cowboy heel gimmick in the 80s.  HHH chant starts up before he talks.  Josh hasn’t talked in awhile while Lawler has so maybe he’s sick or something.

HHH says the real test is the test of time and there is nothing he hasn’t done in WWE.  He’s defined the Elimination Chamber, he’s defined Hell in a Cell, he’s a 13 time world champion, he started DX and Evolution.  He’s been hated and loved, he’s defeated icons legends and immortals and has been here 16 years.  HHH says he’s outlasted everyone except for one person.

He says Undertaker is now known as the Last Outlaw, but that’s not true.  The two of them are more alike than Undertaker realizes.  There are no more challenges for either of them but Taker has the Streak which is all that keeps him going.  HHH claims to be the only true challenge Undertaker has left.  I guess we’re ignoring HHH being victim #9 in the Streak.  HHH’s only remaining challenge is ending the Streak, which will happen at Wrestlemania 27.  When the Streak dies, Undertaker dies with it and if he can’t end the Streak then he’ll die trying.  Good and emotional promo here from the Game.

As he’s about to leave, here’s Sheamus.  Sheamus steps into the ring and gets a stiff low blow.  No Pedigree but rather Sheamus is thrown to the floor where his beating continues.  He throws Sheamus into the time keeper’s area and launches the chair out of there too.  Pedigree onto the announce table kills Sheamus dead.  That table collapsed very well too as it looked like it exploded.  And before everyone says it, no that wasn’t a burial.

Shawn Michaels is going to give his opinion on the HHH vs. Undertaker match later.

Cole is going to answer King’s challenge tonight.

Rock (via satellite) will answer Cena as well.

Back and Sheamus is just now being helped out of the arena.  There’s an E-Mail which Lawler answers.  He starts saying the May I Have Your Attention Please but stops and says nah.  The E-Mail says that Sheamus was supposed to have a match and will still have that match, against this man who is returning to Raw.

Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne fires away with kicks and hits (read as he missed by three inches) with a spin kick.  That sets up the Shooting Star Press to end this in 37 seconds.

Rating: B-. The first 12 seconds were pretty good, the next 8 dragged it down but the final seventeen more than made up for it.  Solid TV match.

With Bourne still in the ring, Justin Roberts introduces Michael Cole. He says he’ll tell us what his plans are for Wrestlemania in just a few moments and we take a break.

Undertaker will be on Smackdown.  There will also be a contract signing for Edge vs. Del Rio.

After a quick video of Cole insulting Jerry and his mother last week, Cole calls Lawler into the ring.  Apparently only Lawler can get fired for striking Cole and not the other way around.  Cole stumbles over his words here.  Cole claims to have the most guts in the company and that he never backs down from a fight.  His answer to the challenge is no.  Cole’s face is so smug here that it’s great.

Cole says he’ll accept under two conditions.  First off his trainer has to be in his corner at Wrestlemania and he gets to pick a special guest referee for the match.  Lawler says he doesn’t care if Cole has the Dark Knight, King Kong, Saba Simba and Superman with him, it’s on.  Cole is WAY too happy about this, even dancing a little over it.

He introduces his trainer: Jack Swagger.  Odd choice but it gives Swagger something to do I guess.  Lawler stares up at Swagger and Cole slaps him.  Jerry goes after Cole but gets caught in an ankle lock while Cole laughs at him.  The referee isn’t announced here.

Austin will be here next week.

Cole wipes off Lawler’s headset to take over on commentary.

Cue Orton to a ROAR.  Great pop for him there.  This is a match but Orton has something to say to Punk first he.  Last week CM was right about something.  Two and a half years ago when Orton punted him it was the biggest mistake of Orton’s career.  He should have kicked harder.  Faith can’t protect Punk from punting him again.  Orton talks about putting Punk in a rehabilitation home and the only thing Punk will have left is the faith that failed him.

Cue New Nexus led by Punk who has the microphone.  Could we get to a match anytime soon?  Punk says he’ll take care of Orton and here they come.  An E-Mail stops them, which says that Orton will face Punk at Mania.  Until then Orton gets singles matches against members of the New Nexus.  If they beat Orton, that member can be in Punk’s corner at the PPV but if they lose, that member is barred.  If any member interferes, the team is disbanded.

Randy Orton vs. Michael McGillicutty

Orton takes over quickly as you would expect.  The knee drop misses and here comes McGillicutty.  A clothesline by Orton sends him to the floor and we take a break.  Back with McGillicutty hitting a dropkick for two.  He adds the Mr. Perfect neck snap from the middle rope in a cool looking move.  There’s the chinlock from McGillicutty on the master of the chinlock.  Orton fights back and gets the powerslam and backbreaker.  Elevated DDT has McGillicutty reeling.  RKO ends it at 7:15 with about 4 minutes shown.

Rating: D. Not impressed here as it was just a step ahead of a squash.  Did anyone think McGillicutty had a chance here at all?  Either way, it would be nice to have a 1-1 match at Mania rather than having to worry about the interference.  This also gives Orton something to do between now and Mania so that helps a bit.

Post match Orton sets for the punt and Punk comes out to talk him out of it.  This fails of course and McGillicutty’s head is somewhere in the 4th row.  McGiilicutty’s face on the replay is great as his eyes are bugged out and his mouth is wide open.

We get a clip of Sin Cara aka Mistico signing with WWE.  The name Mistico is mentioned as well which is surprising.

Here are Miz and Riley.  Miz says Rock is responding to Cena tonight and not to Miz.  Why isn’t he doing that?  Because Rock knows his time has passed and Miz is now the top star in WWE.  Everyone wants him and wants to talk to him.  He talks about Cena, saying that Miz won the titles last week, not the two of them.  Cena should be worried about Miz, not Rock.  Miz says he’ll beat Cena and then everyone will talk about him as the greatest superstar of all time.

Cue Cena who says he has very important news.  He can’t listen to anything else Miz says because Miz isn’t well.  Cena pulls out a Doctor’s Note (construction paper with Doctor’s Note written on it and a Red Cross) and says Miz is obsessive compulsive.  He’s obsessed with being awesome despite being average.  Cena lists off various things that Miz does, none of which are funny.

Riley says that toilet bowls are called Johns, because just like Cena, they’re full of crap.  Even Cole makes fun of Riley for that one.  Cena asks Miz if he gets it now why no one takes him seriously as champion.  Cena makes something resembling a gay joke by asking if Miz wants to know if he wants his legacy to be shared with another man.  He says Miz should fire Riley tonight to make Mania one on one.

Miz tries to come back at Cena by making fun of the jean shorts so Cena makes more gay jokes.  He says be a man tonight and wants a match with Riley.  If Cena wins, Riley doesn’t work for Miz anymore.  Miz accepts for Riley, on one condition.  Miz won’t interfere, but if Riley wins, Cena has to say Miz is the greatest superstar of all time, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.  Cena lists off all the things he’s been put through in the past year and twists his arm around saying ok you’re on.

We get an E-Mail (and the third person answering it in the form of Cole) which says the match tonight will be in a cage.  Good thing they had one above the ring.  You can only win by escape.  Really a weak segment that doesn’t make me want to see them fight any more than I did before.

Divas Battle Royal

Back with this randomly starting.  Eve is on commentary and the winner is #1 contender.  About four people are gone in maybe a minute.  You can go through the ropes to be eliminated.  Within maybe a minute we have a Bella, Maryse and Gail.  Gail sends Maryse out with a handful of tights and then the Bellas switch.  One is thrown out and the other switches.  Eve says she’s had enough and whichever Bella that is (Cole doesn’t know either for the most part) but apparently it’s Brie who wins in 2:00.  Basically all the Raw Divas were in this.

We go to Rock at his home in a Cena hat and with a chain around his neck.  He makes fun of the rapping thing from last week and then “takes this crap off.”  He goes on a big rant against Cena, saying he’s electrifying Buffalo like only Rock can.  He looks like he’s in front of a green screen (I know he’s not but it looks like it for some reason).

Rock talks about making his big return and then Cena replies to him with a rap.  Well of course he did because that’s how the guy in the purple shirt and jean shorts would do.  He makes fun of Thuganomics and Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.  This all started when Cena called Rock a liar when Rock said he loved WWE but never came back.

His love for WWE is endless.  He was born here and it’s in his blood.  There are title belts behind him which he proudly displays and that all he wanted to do was prove that he can do things outside of WWE to open the door for the locker room.  But then Cena insulted the Rock.  Cena opened a door of his own and on the other side is The Rock.

At Mania he’ll be hosting but he’ll be addressing Cena sooner than Cena thinks.  His spirit is everywhere and he can electrify Buffalo just like this.  He snaps his fingers and the lights go out in the arena.  Rock says he’s never alone but is with the millions and millions of Rock’s fans.  He implies he’ll be face to face with Cena very soon.  He says the Rock is back to scratch an itch, so enjoy your Fruity Pebbles you Yabba-Dabba Man.  Very intense and full of energy, but it’s a step down from the two previous promos by these two.

Shawn gives his thoughts on HHH vs. Undertaker.  There is no higher mountain than the Streak but there is something about HHH that is intense beyond words.  More or less Shawn doesn’t pick either guy.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a match but Miz jumps him on the way to the ring.  A running big boot puts Bryan down as this is an assault.  Fan: “Miz you’re a big cheater!”  Bryan is destroyed and takes a Skull Crushing Finale onto the floor.  Even Cole gets on Miz for this.  Miz grabs a mic and says he did that because he can.  Welcome to the Miz Show!  Now lower the cage and start the match!

Alex Riley vs. John Cena

You can win by escape only and if Cena wins, Miz has to fire Riley.  Miz tweets that he’s on commentary which is kind of cool.  Cena hammers away in the corner and doesn’t seem to be that worried.  Release fisherman’s suplex puts Riley down.  Miz is being a jerk even to Cole as he’s not happy about being forgotten for Rock and Cena.  That’s a very legitimate criticism actually.  Miz runs away to stop Cena from getting out of the cage and allows Riley to get in a good shot and take over.

Riley’s chest is blood red.  Cena goes into the cage and Miz has Riley bring Cena over to the cage to take a picture of him for Twitter.  That’s hilarious.  Miz slips the phone in through the cage and Cena is clocked with it.  The referee is like dang I need to upgrade.  Cena makes a diving save and Miz runs up to start a tug of war with Riley.  STFU goes on and Riley is in trouble.  Cena tries to get out but Miz grabs a chair and holds him off for Riley to get an electric chair drop and we take a break at 11:02.  Ok then.

Back with Riley hitting a dropkick but Cena is coming back with his ending sequence.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits as the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  They’ve been pretty weak all night but granted with this card that’s not really something you can blame them for.  FU is blocked and they fight on the top rope.    Riley knocks him down and goes up but takes forever as I guess Cena wasn’t ready in time.

Cena makes the save and they fight on top of the cage.  Riley goes back in and Cena does also for some reason.  Back in the ring there’s the FU and Cena grabs Miz’s phone to take a picture of Riley.  Miz stops him from escaping again but Cena just shoves the  door open with the power of Flintstone Vitamins to win at 12:50.  He winds up taking a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor to end the show.

Rating: C+. Decent  match for the most part and I don’t think the ending was ever really in doubt, but the phone spots were funny as they were trying something new out there for the sake of comedy.  Good stuff here but I’d really like this to become a more serious main event feud than the comedy stuff they’ve been doing so far.  Also, Riley vs. Cena in a cage?  Really?  That’s the main event of Raw?

Overall Rating: D. Well some stuff was added to Mania, but this was a very boring show.  FAR too little wrestling.  Even another five minutes or so would have helped this but there was just nothing of note in the ring here.  I get that they just had a big South American tour and are all spent but this was ridiculous.  Cena not taking Miz seriously is getting old fast and I’m hoping the title doesn’t change at Mania.  Weak show overall, but there were some decent parts.

Results

Evan Bourne b. Sheamus – Shooting Star Press

Randy Orton b. Michael McGillicutty – RKO

Brie Bella won a Divas Battle Royal – Bella last eliminated Gail Kim to win

John Cena b. Alex Riley – Cena escaped the cage

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 2011
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re 41 days away from Wrestlemania and the first stop on the real Road to Wrestlemania is here in Fresno.  The main event on the Raw side is Cena vs. Miz which does sound like a big match if done right.  WWE has a lot of momentum right now with a good show last night, Rock’s return last week and the arrival of whoever 2-21-11 is about tonight should mean this will be a big night for WWE.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a clock counting down to 2-21-11 which is set to end in roughly an hour.

Theme song.

Cena opens the show and says what a day and what a crowd.  There’s a Rocky chant as he gets ready to talk.  The fans seemed to be split when he came out but cheering more for him than booing.  He won the Elimination Chamber last night and is going to Wrestlemania.  Last night should have been a fun night filled with wine, women and song, but this isn’t your typical night.

Since last week he hasn’t been hearing about the Miz or the Elimination Chamber but rather about alleged comments Rock made about him.  People have been asking what Cena is going to say about the Rock, but Cena isn’t sure what to do.  He was planning on just letting it go because it’s the Rock.  We look at the footage and Rock’s face on screen gets a big old pop.

We see the clip from last week of Rock ripping Cena apart for the catchphrase and the hand gestures and the colorful shirt.  Rock said he’ll see Cena at Wrestlemania.  Cena says that Rock was making fun of him and Cena should probably say something right?  There’s only one way for Cena to call someone out but he hasn’t done it in a long time.  However, he still has a degree in Thuganomics.  If he doesn’t take care of this tonight he can’t focus on Wrestlemania.  This is a one time only thing.

After a brief warmup he’s in a Fresno State (location of the show) of mind and he gets out the chain.  I won’t try to put what he says here but his great line is “I was speaking the truth.  You left us all hanging to play a fairy about a tooth?”  Cena is like a big purple pinwheel Rock so go ahead and blow him.

There’s a Witch Mountain/Brokeback Mountain joke in there as Cena is ripping into all of the movie titles of Rock.  The fans are into this it seems and definitely aren’t booing.  To close it out he said we couldn’t see Rock for seven years but Cena is here every week to show what the fans mean to him.  Find this online as Cena completely owned Rock here.

Cole is going to interview King later.

Morrison vs. Punk next.

46 minutes left in the clock.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison can barely walk and do his pose due to the knee injury last night.  Punk is limping as well.  This is one of the best rivalries in years in WWE.  Think back to how many times they’ve fought over the years.  Morrison hammers away in the corner and Punk is in trouble to start.  He slips to the floor though and rams Morrison’s knee into the apron to take over.  Punk is moving much better than Morrison here.

Punk busts out the Haas of Pain of all things.  It’s like a Sharpshooter but Punk is laying next to Morrison and puts his foot on the crossed legs of Morrison and bends Morrison back.  Morrison gets out and fires away again.  And never mind as Punk gets a kick to the knee and the GTS ends this clean at 2:57.  That came out of absolutely nowhere.

Rating: C+. Considering the injuries and the psychology here this was good enough to warrant a rating.  Punk looked good and it doesn’t really hurt Morrison that much since you had Morrison all banged up out there.  Decent match and something I’d love to see more of with these two both healthy.

Post match Punk talks to Randall Keith Orton about how Punk is right here and waiting on Orton.  The New Nexus has the night off and this isn’t a trap.  Everything is about choices.  Today these people bought a ticket to see Punk.  In September of 2008, Orton made a choice to punt Punk in the head and cost him the title.

He points at the Mania sign and says that Punk isn’t going there because Punk is going to hurt him.  Orton needs to walk away and not be here next week or Punk will hurt him.  Cue Orton through the crowd and Punk runs.  New Nexus comes out but Punk shoves them away and a stand off takes us to a break.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his match.  As Del Rio is doing his entrance, Kofi jumps Alberto.  There was a bell before Del Rio came out and a referee is out there so I’m assuming this is a match.  They never get into the ring though and Del Rio puts the Cross Armbreaker on the heavily bandaged arm and leaves Kofi laying.  I guess this wasn’t a match.  Kofi gets up and Del Rio jumps him again and Kofi is in trouble.

Miz is up next as we have 23:30 to go in the clock.

Here’s the WWE Champion to talk about the Rock.  He talks about remembering Rock ripping people apart time after time and was thrilled to hear what Rock had to say about him.  The best Rock could do is say that Miz sucks?  Really?  Really?  REALLY?  He’s heard better from kindergarteners.  Let him wipe his tears in his championship gold.  Miz doesn’t care what the fans think of him and he’s the most must see WWE Champion there is.  This was a lot better than it sounds.

We get an E-Mail which says enough about the Rock as the GM will deal with Rock when the GM is ready.  We get a Rock N Sock Connection reference and tonight the tag titles are on the line with Corre vs. Miz/Cena.  Please…..not this angle AGAIN.

Back with I kid you not George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln.  Cena does a run-in to beat up George Washington.  It’s for the WWE All-Stars game if that makes you feel any better.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Gail Kim

Fast paced brawl to start with Gail dominating.  Nice cross body by her gets two.  The other Bella pulls Gail off the apron and it looked like her head slammed into the floor.  This is a very aggressive match.  Eve comes in and does the standing moonsault for two as the other Bella distracts her.  Rollup by Eve doesn’t work as Twin Magic occurs and one Bella pins Eve at 2:30.  This was nothing.

Less than three minutes and we take a break.

Back with the countdown starting at 25 seconds.  We see shots of the house and the crowd counts it down as the door on the house is opened.  Yep it’s Taker to almost no one’s shock.  Still cool though with Johnny Cash playing him to the ring.  There’s the gong and the place lights up.  Big explosions and Taker’s symbol hangs over the ring.  He takes the hat off, AND IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!  HHH is back too!

He does the corner pose and Taker stares him down.  HHH looks over his shoulder and the music ends.  BIG HHH chant starts up.  They get nose to nose and HHH looks at the Mania sign.  Then Taker looks at the Mania sign.  Taker….smirks at HHH and puts the hat back on.  Deadman turns his back on the Game as the sign hangs over both of them.  Taker turns to face the Game and gives him a throat slash.  Not a word has been said this whole time.  HHH holds up his arms and does the crotch chop.  They stare down again and we go to a break.  Cool segment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

They brawl to start and Henry grabs a bearhug and throws him to the floor with ease.  Very slow and lumbering match here as we’re back in the ring.  Slingshot shoulder block gets two for the king.  Henry rams Sheamus into the corner to take over.  A splash misses and Sheamus kicks him in the chest.  Sheamus pulls the turnbuckle off and Henry rams him into the exposed buckle.  World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 3:50.

Rating: D-. It was slow, it was stupid, it was lumbering and this gets us….where?  Nothing special here at all and granted it didn’t help to have to go on after the double return like that.  Yeah I’ve got nothing else to say here.

Miss USA is going to be on Tough Enough.  I give up.

Daniel Bryan and Gail are in the back but Sheamus comes up to get in his face.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is Hacksaw Jim Duggan!  This works fine for me.

Cole is here to talk to Jerry Lawler.  They can’t fight or they’re both fired.  Oh and Cole reminds us again that he’s a journalist.  The interview is next.

Here’s Lawler and Cole’s first question is what was it like knowing that last night was his big night.  Jerry says nothing.  How did it feel when he realized his dreams were going to be shattered and he was going to lose to the awesome Miz?  Did that mean maybe Cole was right and that it was time to retire?  Jerry says nothing.

What was it like when you were laying on your back and you realized that your deceased mother, no disrespect, had the best seat in the house and that your Wrestlemania dreams were over, how did you feel when you realized you let your mother down?  Jerry grabs Cole by the coat and says if Cole ever mentions his mother again it’ll be the last thing Cole ever says.  He’s had enough of listening to Cole.

Jerry says he’s going to Wrestlemania and he’s issuing an open challenge: Lawler vs. Cole.  Cole calls Lawler senile and runs back to the announce desk.  Lawler says be a man and show us what you’ve got.  Jerry asks if Cole is a coward and Cole takes his jacket off and throws his drink in Jerry’s face.  Cole runs into the crowd and Jerry is ticked.

Tag title match next.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason.  Miz vs. Slater to start us off.  All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members.  Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop.  Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part.  There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12.  What the heck?  Uh…ok then.  No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.

Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now.  An E-Mail says ring the bell.  The match starts post break.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel.  Cena comes in as does Slater.  Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz.  The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel.  Slater gets two on Miz.  Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere.  It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face.  Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.

Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo.  He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save.  Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock.  The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.

Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top.  He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag.  Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now.  Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU.  Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin  to regain the titles at 12:00!

Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well.  I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did.  This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two.  Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well.  Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.

Overall Rating: A-. First and foremost, those people complaining about the lack of wrestling here need to shut their mouths.  They’re completely missing the point of this and don’t even bother trying to compare it to Impact last week.  This was about building to Mania and it did that in spades.  The point was completely different and if you didn’t like what was done tonight that’s fine.  However, it wasn’t the same as what they did there and this is an instance where the lack of wrestling can be excused to a degree.

As for the show itself, this was a drama/storyline building show and it worked very well in that regard.  Cena responded to the Rock, we set up Cole vs. Lawler, Miz vs. Cena got development, two major stars returned to set up their big match at Mania and we might have a midcard feud developing with Sheamus vs. Bryan.  That all happened in two house plus more stuff.  I disagree with what they had go on last, but this was a huge show and it came off like a huge show.  Well done indeed.

Results

CM Punk b. John Morrison – GTS

Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Small Package to Eve

Mark Henry b. Sheamus – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz/John Cena b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Skull Crushing Finale to Gabriel

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. John Cena/The Miz – Slater pinned Cena after a Skull Crushing Finale

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another special Raw show called Thursday Raw Thursday.  This was another special request and my first one through e-mail actually.  Anyway the idea here is that there’s either tennis or the stupid dog show on Monday so Raw is on Thursday this week.  Don’t ask me why they say the day twice but it’s Vince so I think that explains it.  This is famous for two reasons: Rock vs. HHH in a LONG match (for the time frame) and this is where Shawn lost his smile.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Shawn who is vacating the title, meaning that the winner of the Final Four this Sunday will be the new champion.  The opening video is about Sid vs. Shawn which was supposed to be the rubber match tonight.  Naturally they say Thursday Raw Thursday about a million times in between this.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. HHH

HHH is champion here and Rocky is a glorified rookie.  Also tonight there’s Sid vs. Austin and Bret vs. Vader.  For no apparent reason Undertaker is fighting Savio.  This is live it seems.  It’s still Hunter Hearst Helmsley here so there’s no HHH name yet.  The curtseying future Game gets a hip block to start us off and is very confident.  They do some nice mat stuff which I’ve never seen before.  They have some leg locks and head scissors with impressive counters.  Cool stuff.

Off to a chinlock by HHH here but Rocky fights out and hits a dropkick to send him to the floor.  A charge misses and Rocky hits the post.  Back inside with HHH working on the arm.  Rocky fights up but HHH gets a single arm DDT for two.  Some chops hit in the corner as we take a break.  Back with HHH still in control and just going OFF on Rocky’s head with right hands.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for some reason.  He was looking for a protégé or something like that.  He wound up picking Billy Gunn who became Rock-A-Billy as one of the dumbest gimmicks of all time.  HHH has dominated the vast majority of this with a jumping knee to the head and then a sleeper.  Rocky tries to reverse into a sleeper of his own but gets rammed into the buckle.

Rocky starts his comeback with right hands (called a chop by Vince for no apparent reason).  Top rope cross body, more or less Rocky’s finisher, is rolled through by HHH for two.  Facebuster sets up a neckbreaker by HHH for a close two.  HHH is getting frustrated.  Piledriver gets two AGAIN as Vince and Jim can’t believe it.  Superplex gets two and no one knows what to think.

HHH sets for the Pedigree but Rocky can’t stand up long enough for it to go on.  Rocky falls flat on his face and is more or less dead.  Honky shouts ROLL HIM OVER!  HHH finally tries to do just that and gets rolled up by Rocky for the pin and the title in perhaps the biggest upset of all time up to that point.

Rating: B-. This was good but it’s really just Rocky hanging in there until the end for the one small package to win the title.  That being said, the resilience thing with HHH being all stuck up and not going for the kill when he could have makes this work more than it should.  Also it’s Rock vs. HHH so it’s hard not to like it at least a little bit.

Rocky cuts his best Boy Scout promo after the match, saying he’ll make his fans and family proud.

Ad for Final Four which was a great main event.

Here’s Sunny, poured into a little white dress.  Ah she’s ring announcer.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible.  We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show.  Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar.  Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host.  Who thought this was a good idea for a match?  Mosh vs. Holly to start us off.  Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match.  It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway.  We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps.  I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match?  The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over.  Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either.  The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery.  In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes.  Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya.  We’re talking about Brett Favre now.  I can’t escape this guy.  Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination.  Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won.  Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it.  WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them.  Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see?  Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

Vince introduces Gorilla Monsoon who is going to accept the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels.  Shawn limps out and is very sad.  Here’s the basic idea: Shawn was supposed to return the favor to Bret and lose the title to him at Mania 13.  However Shawn didn’t really want to do that and “hurt his knee” and couldn’t do it.  He claimed the doctors said it could be career ending when it was really minor.  In short, Shawn didn’t want to lose so he forfeited the title and was back in the ring by May.  This is the famous Lost My Smile speech and not a lot of the guys in the back bought it to put it mildly.

Shawn gets all teary eyed and talks about his body being beaten up and all that jazz.  HUGE We Want Sid, the guy that might have been winning the title that night depending on who you ask.  No one has had to endure the schedule that Shawn had over the years etc.  This is rather sickening knowing what’s actually going on here.  Do I think he was hurt?  Yeah he was somewhat hurt but at the end of the day he was looking out for himself here far more than anyone else when Shawn as a heel could have worked very well but he was afraid of doing it.

He talks about how he’s not going to be around the title for a long time.  The doctors aren’t sure where his knee is and he may be beyond reconstructive surgery at this point.  Shawn talks about riding in leer jets and limousines as I have a feeling like I’ve heard this before.  You also have to remember that the WWF was in real trouble at this point and had it not been for Austin they would have been dead.  He hands the belt to Monsoon and says he’s going back home.  Shawn says that somewhere along the line he lost his smile.  Oh dear.

Overall my thought on this is Shawn knew what was really going on and he put his ego over the fans, the company, the title and the rest of his roster.  He had no problem taking all the benefits of being champion but didn’t want to do the harder parts of it (like losing) and that to me isn’t right.  The fans were mixed to put it mildly on this.  This would have been fine at its time, but given that he would be back before the summer kills any sympathy this would have had.

Savio Vega vs. Undertaker

Savio turned heel recently and joined the Nation.  Taker was feuding with them for lack of anything better to do.  He would win the title at Mania so it seems like he got noticed.  After a break we’re back with Taker destroying him.  The announcers talk about Bret vs. Vader but it’s not as bad as it was in the tag match.  Why in the world am I watching Savio Vega vs. the Undertaker?  Who thought this was a good idea?

Taker hits a big boot and stumbles back from it.  Leg drop gets two on Savio.  Not yet Old School hits as this is one sided for the most part.  There are still tickets available for the PPV in Chattanooga.  Savio gets a low blow and a set of clotheslines to get two.  The other members of the Nation interfere a bit as we’re waiting for Taker to end Savio.

The fans chant rest in peace.  My goodness how nice does it sound to be able to take a nap and let someone else do this?  Or just to not watch this at all?  Savio gets a spinwheel kick to put Taker down for two.  Since that’s his finisher the rest of the match is pretty predictable.  Taker is finally bored with all this and hits a chokeslam to end it.

Rating: D-. Oh dang it all this was boring.  Nothing at all was going on here and it never got interesting.  It’s nearly NINE MINUTES LONG.  Why in the world did this need nearly ten minutes?  It’s Undertaker vs. Savio Vega for crying out loud.  Boring match and one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a good while.

Nation attacks, Ahmed saves, Nation lackeys are hurt.

Psycho Sid vs. Steve Austin

After Austin’s entrance, Gorilla says that the four guys have a golden opportunity on Sunday.  Sid will get his title shot and will get it against the winner of the Final Four match this coming Monday.  Sid would face Bret and win the title.  Sid was mad over to say the least.  Austin jumps Sid to start and the fight was on.  Jerry picks Austin to win the title on Sunday.

Austin kicks Sid low and does Sid’s taunts as this is a total battle from the bell.  Fans are TOTALLY behind Austin which is saying a lot considering how over Sid was at this point.  Austin sends him into the post and takes him down in the ring with an elbow.  This is pre-neck injury for Austin so he’s a completely different guy than the brawler he would become.  Abdominal stretch by Austin but Sid gets a sleeper.  And never mind as Austin suplexes him almost immediately.

Off to a front facelock so they can call some spots.  JR says it’ll be Austin as well on Sunday while Vince says it’ll be Sid.  You know, the guy that isn’t in the match Sunday?  Sid hammers him down and misses a legdrop so Austin tries a failed Sharpshooter.  Big boot takes Austin down and then Bret comes out to fight Austin and it’s a DQ win for Stone Cold.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl with the fans telling you a lot about what they wanted.  You had a crazy dude in Sid and Austin being the anti-authority figure that everyone wanted to see.  Thankfully Vince listened and everything turned out well in the end.  This was a fun brawl and that’s all it needed to be.

Bret and Sid fight while Austin laughs.

Vader stumbles through an interview where he says he’s beaten everyone in the Final Four match recently.

Lawler talks about sending his mom money for Valentine’s Day.  This is being written on the night Lawler faced Miz for the WWE Title at the Elimination Chamber where Lawler was talking about his mother passing away the previous week so that’s kind of sad to hear.

We replay part of the Shawn speech about losing his smile.  Did you check under that copy of “How to Fake a Knee Injury?”  When Vince hugs Shawn you can see him thinking “You bastard!!!”

Tag Titles: Farooq/Crush vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

Bulldog and Hart had the titles forever in one of the longest title reigns in history.  No one since has had a longer WWF/E tag title reign that I can remember.  That doesn’t count the Smackdown tag titles made in 2002 mind you.  Owen vs. Crush to start and the Canadian gets a cross body for two.  Over to Bulldog as Crush throws Owen around a bit.

We take a break just after Farooq tags in.  Vince says that if anything significant happens while we’re gone it’ll be shown.  Nothing is shown so that means nothing of note is happening during a title match.  That sounds like blasphemy to Vince to me.  Owen and Bulldog had been having issues lately and they do here as well, resulting in Bulldog being in trouble.

Bret is watching the match and says that what Shawn said was sad.  We got split screen to do this of course so we can barely see the match.  Bulldog is getting beaten down here if you’re curious.  Bret says that there’s no way around Vader so Bret will have to do something different than he did last time when he lost.  It’s Hitman Time, not Vader Time.

Ah hey it’s the full match rather than the split one.  Owen starts a Bulldog chant even though the Bulldog is getting crushed out there.  Hey that was funny and wasn’t even supposed to be!  I kill myself sometimes.  Crush gets a bodyscissors.  Vince: “Speaking of body scissors, how would you like to be bodyscissored by La Femme Nikita, coming up next on USA!”  That man is a natural salesman if there has ever been one.

The fans chant what sounds like Bulldog/Owen but it’s not really clear.  Maybe if it was in a town bigger than Lowell, Massachusetts that would go a bit better.  Bulldog reverses a bearhug with a belly to belly but can’t get a tag.  Owen gets tagged but it’s not seen in a classic tag team move.  Smith finally gets an enziguri to bring in Owen who cleans house.  Missile dropkick to Crush gets two and it all breaks down.  We hit the floor and Owen might have injured his knee.  Injured or HBK-ified, it’s good enough for the count out to end this.

Rating: D+. I just wasn’t feeling this one at all.  The idea was to plug the whole fighting amongst themselves champions and while that happened this felt rushed and a big forced.  Not a terrible match but it just kind of came and went.  The knee injury never went anywhere that I can remember.

The Nation beats down Bulldog post match while Owen tries to fix his knee.  Bulldog helps him out but Owen limps back to get the belts.  That’s nice subtle heel stuff.

Vader vs. Bret Hart

Main event time here.  Before we get started though Taker comes out to watch.  Oh and he’s got a loud mic.  He hates to interrupt but Taker gets no respect anymore.  This is a very un-Deadman like promo.  He’s talking fast and sounds more like Biker Taker than Deadman Taker.  Vader jumps Bret as Taker leaves and Hart is in trouble early on as we take a break.

Apparently just after they went to a break Austin came out and stomped on Bret some before being sent to the back.  Vader goes up and Bret catches him in a POWERSLAM???  WHAT THE HECK ???  Bret pounds away and gets a terrible looking Russian Leg Sweep for two.  It might have helped if he actually, you know, swept the leg?  BRET SLAMS VADER!!!!  WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING?????  He picked him up like he was a cruiserweight and just turned him over for a slam like it was nothing.  WHAT THE HECK?????

Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter.  Well I guess he was in Power Bret mode or something.  Dude Bret Hart slammed Vader.  I can’t get over that.  Why not a belly to back suplex too?  Bret is throwing Vader around like he weighs 180.  Bret low bridges Vader and there’s the Sharpshooter but Vader grabs a rope.  Austin pops up in the balcony to yell at Bret and Vader drills the Canadian from behind.  Vadersault misses and Bret gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it was ok I guess.  I really can’t get over that slam.  Bret Hart just picked Vader up like he was picking up a Slurpie.  This was just a match to set up the PPV for the most part with nothing special going on at all.  Austin’s interference felt rushed as did Taker’s at the beginning.  Either way the match at the PPV was great.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there’s certainly a lot of history here but the delivery isn’t that great.  Shawn’s speech doesn’t really mean a lot anymore as he more or less just took a vacation.  This wasn’t that bad though and considering the card had to be shuffled earlier in the week as did the PPV, this was pretty solid.  Not great, but good enough for what it was.

Here’s In Your House if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2011
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Guest Star: Ariel Winter

The main story tonight is that we’re finding out the guest host of Wrestlemania tonight.  I’ve heard various possibilities, some of which are good and some of which are horrible.  It’s also the final push towards the PPV this Sunday which is more or less set in stone.  We may have an issue with the title match being pushed tonight as Lawler’s mother passed away earlier today so there’s no way to know if he’ll be here or on his game tonight.  That’s not a criticism mind you, merely an observation.  Let’s get to it.

We open in the arena with Cole welcoming us and talking about the guest host tonight.  No Lawler as it’s Matthews in there instead.

Orton vs. Sheamus, Morrison vs. Truth and Cena vs. Punk tonight with the last of those starting RIGHT NOW!

John Cena vs. CM Punk

There must be a winner to this.  During Cena’s entrance we see a clip from last week where Lawler slipped Cena a chair to keep Cena from getting destroyed.  Cena gets on the mic and thanks Lawler for helping him out last week.  He talks about how it’s Valentine’s Day and how nothing says I love you like a pair of tickets to WWE.  During this part there’s a Rocky chant.  Love isn’t the only thing in the air.  WRESTLEMANIA is in the air!

Cena talks about the guest host could be, throwing out names like Sammi from Jersey Shore, Lady Gaga and Michael Cole.  Using the clues that Vince gave last week, he proves that Cole is in a love triangle with Miz and Riley and that Michael Cole may not be a man.  More importantly though, this Sunday is the Elimination Chamber and after the year Cena has had, he needs this Wrestlemania moment.  He dealt with a group of radicals all year called the Nexus, but Sunday there’s only one member to deal with.

Cue Punk with a mic of his own.  Punk says that the record in Gray’s Sports Almanac (Love those movies) it says that the last two times they’ve fought Punk has won.  Punk says he’s a good person unlike Cena and the bell rings.  If anyone gets involved in this they’re out of the Chamber match.  Cena hits the post shoulder first and hits the floor.  Punk takes him down with a flying clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Punk getting a two count off a big kick.  If Nexus gets involved, Punk is out of the Chamber.  Punk works the arm but Cena hits an armdrag to get free.  Body scissors by Punk takes more energy out of Cena.  Cena’s shorts are a bit shorter tonight and are above the knees.  Cena fights back and gets the Protoplex and 5 Knuckle Shuffle but can’t hit the FU.

Punk takes him down with a leg lariat and we get a headscissors.  Cena is like man please and just stands up.  Back to their feet and Cena hits a gutwrench suplex for two.  Cena goes up for the top rope Fameasser but Punk makes the stop.  Corner knee hits but the bulldog is reversed into a failed STF attempt.  Swinging neckbreaker by Punk sets up the GTS which can’t connect.

CM goes up and tries a cross body but Cena rolls through into the FU.  Punk gets to the ropes though and hits the floor.  A Nexus clad arm sticks out from under the ring and hands Punk a chair.  Punk slides it into the ring and the referee goes to get it.  The arm comes out again with a wrench.  Punk drills Cena with it and the GTS ends it at 10:36.

Rating: B. Good match here especially for free TV.  The ending was a nice little touch with the two weapons being handed in.  Cena losing is good as it builds Punk up even more also.  This was one of the better TV matches I’ve seen in a good while and a great way to start Raw.  I love February Sweeps because we get stuff like this.

The announcers say that Lawler isn’t here due to the death of his mother but that he’ll be at the PPV.

We’re waiting on the guest host as we take a break.

Friday is the 600^th Smackdown.

Here’s Alberto but you already know the joke that most people make when saying his name so I’ll spare you.  He talks about destiny and Mania and all that jazz.  Cue Edge to a nice ovation.  He says that he’s been so busy fighting Ziggler that he almost forgot about Alberto hitting him with a guitar two weeks ago.  Edge says he also has a destiny and takes down Alberto.  He sets for the spear but Ricardo saves.  Alberto goes to the apron but gets speared off.

Cue Vickie who says that Sunday there will be the world title match in the Chamber but she’s here to introduce the new World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler.  We see a clip of the illegal spear from Friday.  This week on Smackdown we’re going to have the official coronation of Ziggler as the new champion.  Edge is apparently stripped of the title and Vickie also has proof that Edge assaulted Teddy.  The segment just kind of ends with Vickie laughing.  So he’s not champion anymore?

Divas Title up next.

Another 2-21-11 promo with the song and a shot of someone’s chest.  Well it’s certainly not Trish Stratus.

Miz vs. Bryan tonight.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Eve Torres

This is a lumberjill match and Natalya is in the ring when we start.  Eve grabs a headlock to start which results in a standoff with both trying dropkicks.  They slaps hands and go to the mat.  Surfboard by Natalya which is always awesome looking.  Even counters and is sitting on Natalya’s legs.  This is more of a gymnastics routine than a match but it’s fun.

Josh mentions that Natalya was voted as the dream Diva Valentine’s Day date which Cole makes fun of.  Natalya is sent to the floor and the Divas beat the heck out of her.  As retaliation Eve dives on them to take out nearly all of them at once.  Back in Natalya tries a cradle but Eve rolls back onto it for the pin to retain at 3:40.

Rating: C. I liked it.  Eve looked good out there from a wrestling standpoint and looked like she could actually hang with the “wrestling” Divas instead of just being one of the eye candy ones.  This was a pretty decent little match and ended with a wrestling move which is always a good thing.  Fun match and short enough to not get bad.

Back from a break with the Bellas getting on Eve for no apparent reason.  A brawl breaks out with Natalya trying to save.  Gail jumps in there as well and referees break it up.

Cole: “If the Divas keep this up they’re going to need chaperones.”  Oh you know what’s coming.  Also there’s a guest star tonight: Ariel Winter, apparently HHH’s costar.

Mark Henry comes down for a match but Sheamus jumps him during his entrance and beats the tar out of him.  Sheamus grabs a mic and says that’s a preview of what he’ll do in the Chamber.

Miz vs. Bryan up next.

We get a clip of the tag match from last week where Bryan and Miz got into it some.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Riley is on commentary here.  Crowd is into Bryan and we get a chant for him.  Miz takes him down with a shoulder block to start.  Josh makes a Grammys reference of all things.  Bryan grabs the arm which gets him nowhere but a dropkick does.  Miz takes Bryan down with a big boot.  For some reason we keep cutting to shorts of the commentators.  Off to a reverse chinlock by Miz.

Bryan escapes and grabs a rear naked choke but Miz grabs the ropes.  Another back elbow by Miz gets two.  Another chinlock now but the crowd is staying in this which is a good sign.  Bryan gets a corner dropkick for two.  They slug it out a bit and Miz is knocked to the floor.  Running knee from the apron sends Miz through the barricade in front of the time keeper’s area.

Back in the ring and a top rope dropkick gets two.  Good match here so far.  LeBell Lock almost goes on but Miz knocks him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Miz hammering away in the corner but not being able to hit a suplerplex.  Instead Bryan gets a sunset bomb for a close two.  We see a replay of the neckbreaker to the floor just before the break and I didn’t realize how sick it was.

Bryan unleashes the kicks and Miz counters into a rollup for two.  Another gets two.  Miz tries a reverse DDT into a neckbreaker but gets countered into a German.  BIG kick to the head of the world champion gets two and a huge reaction from the crowd.  LeBell Lock can’t get hooked so Bryan tries a victory roll.  Miz drops him forward and then the Skull Crushing Finale ends it at 12:40.

Rating: B+. This was an awesome match where Miz got pushed and Bryan looked great.  This was exactly what Miz needs: a dominant win where most importantly he won clean.  Bryan just took the world champion to the limit and the whole thing worked very well.  Good match and the second good one tonight which is a great thing to see.

Miz gets on the mic and says that Lawler isn’t here tonight because his mother passed away.  He hopes that Lawler doesn’t use this as an excuse at the PPV.  Nice heel heat there and the catchphrase takes us to a break.

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga vs. John Morrison/R-Truth

Cole says he’ll explain this came about in a bit.  Morrison has a BIG black eye.  Oh that’s from the kick last week.  During the break the GM made this match due to what happened last week.  Well if that’s the case why did he make the singles match into the first place?  It was supposed to be Morrison vs. Truth remember?  McGillicutty vs. Truth to start us off and Truth is in trouble.

Off to Otunga and he’s still in trouble.  Matthews thinks McGillicutty handed Punk the wrench earlier.  Morrison comes in and is all angry and aggressive.  I kind of like it actually.  He’s beating the heck out of both guys and kicks McGillicutty in the ribs.  Truth dives out to take out Otunga so Morrison can hit the running knee to end McGillicutty at 3:19.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the best part of it was the beating by Morrison.  Having Morrison get all ticked off and wanting to hurt Punk is something very good to see.  He needs some emotion in his character and this is a good place to start.  He could be a star with a few minor tweaks and this would work fine.  Fun match.

Truth and Morrison chase off Ryan when he tries to attack them.

There’s a plug for Jericho’s new book.

The chick from Chaperone and Modern Family is here as the guest star.  She introduces the Khali Kiss Cam.  She’s a kid mind you and dances to Khali’s music.  Khali’s belly button is above her shoulders.  The Kiss Cam tonight is of people in the audience.  Santino kisses Tamina and Vickie kisses Dolph.  Apparently they’re in the audience?  Maryse won’t kiss Ted so she kisses Yoshi Tatsu.  Ryder gets kissed on the cheek by Regal in the moment of the night.  Horny pops up with a box of candy for her and gets a kiss on the cheek.  To all the people that says this is stupid, lighten up.  This was like 2 minutes long and harmless.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Orton is introduced as the Viper now.  Randy takes him down into the corner and gets a Thesz Press with punches.  Here’s the stomp and knee drop which misses.  Naturally we spend the whole match talking about the Chamber.  Sheamus takes over with his power stuff and gets the slingshot shoulder block for two.  Orton tries to fight back but runs into a boot in the corner.

Apparently that doesn’t hurt as he hits some of his basic stuff.  Orton charges ahead but gets caught in the Irish Curse backbreaker for two.  Middle rope suplex puts Orton down but Sheamus can’t capitalize.  Sheamus comes at him but walks into the RKO for the finish at 5:07.  Punk and Nexus comes out for a beatdown but the other Chamber guys make the save and beat up Nexus.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as the big ending is clearly the guest host.  These two are more or less incapable of having a good match so keeping it short is probably the best possible thing they can do.  Not bad and the ending works with the RKO, but not enough time and nothing entertaining at all really.

A long limo pulls up and we see a woman’s feet.  Naturally the camera stays on the feet as we take a break.

Back and the host is……causing electrical noises in the arena.  There go the lights.  They’re going out all over the arena.  There goes the Tron and the Elimination Chamber sign.  Vince isn’t advertising a PPV?  This MUST be huge.  A light comes on the screen and it’s…….THE ROCK!!!!!!!!!  I’m stunned at this.  He looks like he’s in great shape.  To put it mildly, the place erupted.

After seven long years……FINALLY, The Rock has come back to Anaheim, to Raw, and Home.  When he had the mic up you could see his hand shaking.  He has many nicknames, but tonight he’s Dwayne.  It’s been a long time since he’s been here and it’s not because of money or to promote a movie but because of the fans.  The fans helped him accomplish his goals and dreams.  He wants to thank the fans and tell them he loves them and because of them he’s back in the ring and he’s never ever going away.

He says he called Vince and Vince said he needed a host that was electrifying.  He needed someone that would get the people talking.  He needed a host that would ignite things and that would be Justin Bieber.  Justin is cool, but only the Rock could be the host of Mania.  He hasn’t lost a step on the mic at all.  At the drop of a dime he’ll lay the smack down at Wrestlemania, but the question is to who.

Could it be Miz?  He says he’s heard Miz is awesome.  Rock isn’t a scientist but if you’re always saying you’re awesome it means you absolutely suck.  Rock says there is one man he’s going to see at Mania, but there’s an E-Mail before he gets to say it.  Rock isn’t pleased.  He cuts Cole off before he can answer, asking if Cole thinks anyone cares what the GM has to say.

Rock: “Michael Cole, is that what you think?”  Cole: “Well…”  Rock: “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!  You sit down at that table and know your role and shut your mouth!”  He says if Cole doesn’t then Rock will have some special Facebook pictures tonight of him taking that computer, shining it up real nice and putting it straight up Michael Cole’s candy face.  Now sit down because you look like a drunk hobbit.

Anyway there is one man that Rock has to see face to face.  Rock has met him before and thinks he’s a cool guy.  When Rock left this guy came in and started talking trash about the Rock.  His name is JOHN CENA.  WWE has gone from Austin 3:16 to Can Your Smell What the Rock is Cooking to….You Can’t See Me?  He does the hand motion and asks if he’s playing peek-a-boo.  A blindfolded Stevie Wonder in a basement can see you.

Everyone can see Cena.  He runs around here in colored shirts looking like a bright bowl of Fruity Pebbles.  Rock has swore about 15 times in 10 minutes.  He’ll see Cena at Wrestlemania.  He’ll also see Miz and everyone else at Mania.  Rock guaran-darn-tees three things for Mania.  He’ll show the world he’s the most electrifying man in entertainment.  At the drop of a dime he’ll lay the Smacketh Down on all of them.  Finally, the Rock and the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of Rock’s fans will electrify Wrestlemania….IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!!

Wow.  I have no idea what else to say.  This was one of the best moments I have ever seen and the idea of Cena vs. Rock in any form or fashion, even talking, is breathtaking.

Massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This was a great show overall with two good matches, a funny comedy bit and of course the huge announcement being the thing that tied things up throughout the show.  I’m very excited about the PPV now which is exactly the point of the show.  This was a great Raw and certainly one of their better ones in awhile.  See what happens when you have good wrestling matches?  I had it at an A- until Rock came out.  Go ahead and whine.  THE ROCK IS BACK.

Results

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Eve Torres b. Natalya – Torres reversed a Natalya cradle into a pin

The Miz b. Daniel Bryan – Skull Crushing Finale

R-Truth/John Morrison b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Running knee smash to McGillicutty

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2011
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We continue on the Road to Wrestlemania in what I’d assume will be a plot advancing show which is ok.  The Chamber is in less than two weeks so there isn’t much to say as far as adding new stuff goes.  Bear in mind that I’ve seen part of this show last night but am reviewing it on Tuesday/Wednesday, so if there are some odd things said it’s because I know what’s coming.  Sorry about that.  Let’s get to it.

Nickelback opens us up.

Here’s Vince, and according to Cole it’s the first time we’ve seen him in almost a year.  Where do I begin?

1. He wrestled at Wrestlemania on March 28, 2010.  We’ll call that 11 months when it’s really more like 10 and a half.

2. He was there for Nexus.  Nexus began on June 1 and attacked Vince on June 22.  We’ll go very conservative again and call that June 7.  That means we have eight months.

3. He was on the November 1 episode of Raw, which may be a stretch as he was in a coma/dream sequence.  Still though, he was there.  That would be three months

In other words, at minimum it was three months and at most it was eight months.  That means it’s closer to half a year than a year, but who cares about things like time right?

Vince starts talking about Wrestlemania and how after the Super Bowl is over, it’s time for Wrestlemania.  Apparently next week we’re going to meet the host of Wrestlemania who has set a record or a streak of some sort.  I’m kind of intrigued but it better not be Justin Bieber.

Anyway as Vince is about to leave, here’s Randy Orton.  We get a clip of him punting Harris last week and running from Nexus and their beatdown.  Orton wants to talk about Punk and how after last week they’re not even.  Before Orton gets going though here’s Punk.  Punk sits down on the stage and says that of course it isn’t over.  He asks if Orton wants to know why he cost “Randall” the title at the Rumble.

Punk shows a clip from Unforgiven 2008 with Punk as World Heavyweight Champion and Orton getting in his face and calling Punk a fluke.  Legacy jumped him and Orton punted him in the head, which made Punk have to forfeit the title due to an injury.  Yes, THIS IS CONTINUITY!  They did something back then and now we’re going to get revenge as a result of it.  That is huge as something is happening and there’s a reason for it.  That doesn’t happen anymore, which is a huge thing.

Punk says that he’s been patient but now wants his revenge.  As long as they’re on the same show, Orton will never be world champion again.  He isn’t waiting for Elimination Chamber but is going to eliminate Orton right now.  Instead of running like someone intelligent, Orton stands in the ring and gets beaten down.

After a little bit Punk starts talking and Orton breaks free for a bit but is eventually tied in the ropes.  Cena chant starts up but Orton is all alone.  Punk yells at him a lot but Orton gets a headbutt and kick in.  The kick hits Punk in the face and breaks his nose legit.  There’s blood coming out of it and it’s swollen badly.  If it’s not broken it’s bruised badly.  The Nexus puts Orton on Punk’s shoulders for the GTS to end the segment.

Mason Ryan vs. R-Truth

This was set up by an E-Mail during the break.  Apparently all members of Nexus will face people in the Chamber, finishing with Punk vs. Cena in the main event.  This is Ryan’s in ring debut in WWE.  Truth’s song is freaking catchy to say the least.  And now we get the important part of the night.  “GREEN BAY WISCONSIN!  WHAT’S UP???”  Cole: Truth we’re in Milwaukee!  This would become the running joke for the night.

The fans totally turn on Truth, booing the heck out of him and chanting MILWAUKEE.  Truth is clearly shaken here, messing up his sunset flip out of the corner as well as the spinning forearm.  It’s understandable as he hasn’t been a heel in years.  Truth may have hurt his knee on the missed forearm.  Ryan slams him into the ropes three times and then locks on a Brock Lock (Ryan bends Truth’s leg around Ryan’s head) for the submission at 2:23.

Post match Ryan gets a chair but the referee grabs it away.  With another Milwaukee chant going, the hold goes on again and the decision is reversed.  This would be stupid based on the fact that Vickie said a referee’s decision can’t be reversed but whatever.

The Did You Know says more people attended live events last year than the Super Bowl, Stanley Cup Finals, NBA Finals and X Games combined.  You mean having like 400 shows a year was enough to pass all those others?  REALLY???

Back from a break Punk congratulates Ryan on hurting Truth.  Later tonight it’s McGillicutty vs. Morrison and Otunga vs. Sheamus.

Eve Torres/Tamina/Gail Kim vs. Bella Twins/Melina

The Bellas and Eve look great here.  Even Gail looks kind of good.  Natalya is on commentary for this and has a shot at Eve next week.  Gail tries to fight both Bellas which fails pretty badly.  Off to Melina now as this isn’t anything special at all.  Here’s Eve as Natalya and Cole get into an argument.  Standing moonsault gets two on Melina.  Everything breaks down and a spinning neckbreaker (Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for you technical people out there) ends Melina at 2:22.  This was pretty worthless.

2-21-11 promo, this time with the Johnny Cash song Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down.

We talk about Aaron Rodgers having the title belt on his shoulder during the celebration.  Allegedly Ric Flair gave him that but I’m not sure how much I buy that at all.

Video about the Chamber match.

John Morrison vs. Michael McGillicutty

McGillicutty takes him down early to start us off.  To say the crowd is dead for the early parts here is an understatement to say the least.  McGillicutty goes after the arm and tries to slam Morrison’s hand into the post by crushing it with the steps.  The dropkick to the steps misses though and here comes John.  Flash Kick sets up the Starship Pain to end it at 2:30.  Great looking moonsault there.

As Morrison is leaving, Punk is waiting on him with some kind of spray that goes into Morrison’s eyes.  Punk also kicks him in the head.  Medics check him as we go to a break.

After a break here’s Miz in wrestling gear.  He says that last week he was pulling for Lawler and asks him to get in the ring.  Miz says it wasn’t because he thought Lawler would be the easiest targets because they’re all easy wins for the Miz.  Lawler used to be a loudmouth and everyone would listen to Jerry.  Miz says he patterned his career after Lawler and is a modern day Jerry Lawler.  I’d say Roddy Piper but that’s just me.

Now it’s him on talk shows and now it’s him that people want to watch.  He’s also WWE Champion which Lawler has ever been.  Jerry says they’re not mirror images because he’s an original.  Miz shows us a clip from last week where Jerry punched DiBiase which looked great.  Miz says that was a sucker punch so Lawler says Miz is a sucker and sucks too.  Wow that was bad.

Lawler says he’s never competed at Wrestlemania or been WWE Champion.  He says no one knows what it means to do either of those things.  Lawler is going to win the title and go to Wrestlemania.  Miz goes for his catchphrase but Lawler cuts him off by saying awful and there’s your chant.  The fight is on and Lawler puts Riley down.  Cue DiBiase for the save and Bryan for the second save.  The GM makes the obvious match.

Daniel Bryan/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase/The Miz

Riley is on commentary with Cole here.  Bryan vs. DiBiase to start.  Who would have believed say two years ago that on Raw we would be seeing the number one contender Jerry Lawler teaming with Bryan Danielson facing Ted DiBiase and the WWE Champion the Miz?  Think about that for a minute.  Miz sends King to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Lawler but there’s a quick tag to Bryan.  If I hadn’t been looking at the monitor I wouldn’t have known it as the reaction more or less didn’t exist.  Running clothesline in the corner to Bryan gets two for Miz.  Off to Lawler (small pop) and DiBiase who is in trouble early.  DDT gets two for Lawler.  Everything breaks down as Miz is taken out by Bryan.  The middle rope punch ends DiBiase at 9:05.  Lawler wins again.

Rating: C-. See, here’s the thing with Lawler: he doesn’t look terrible.  Yes he’s over sixty years old, but at the same time he looked decent.  He’s in great shape considering his age and can get by with the same basic moves he has for years.  It’s the Rocky story and it’s going to end in him losing at the PPV which is fine.  There’s nothing wrong with this story despite what various internet “geniuses” would have you think.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Holy squash Batman!  As Sheamus is on the way to the ring Josh interrupts him and asks his opinion on Mark Henry’s comments.  Sheamus hasn’t heard them but apparently Henry says that Sheamus should be out of the Chamber and Henry should be in.  Sheamus says Henry hasn’t done anything in 14 years and should only be in if it’s a cake eating contest.

Otunga comes out but here’s Henry instead.  The brawl is on with Otunga only trying to get in once and getting drilled.  A pair of World’s Strongest Slams ends Sheamus as I guess there’s no match.  Otunga stands over the fallen Sheamus but here’s…..Alberto?  Well he had to be here at some point I suppose.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

This should be short but likely won’t be.  After a break and before Santino’s entrance, Alberto says it was his destiny and all that jazz.  Santino throws Alberto over the top in a funny bit.  Was there ever a bell?  If there was I didn’t hear it.  Santino chant is the loudest of the night so far which I’m not sure how to take.  There’s the bell.  Kozlov isn’t here due to the beating he got from Corre the other night.

Santino sends him over the top again and talks some trash.  Back in and Alberto of course takes over as he’s supposed to.  He sends Santino into the post and the arm work is on.  Running enziguri in the corner misses but the Cobra misses.  Del Rio gets a Codebreaker to the arm and seconds later the Armbreaker ends it at about 2:59.  Just an extended squash with some minor comedy thrown in so no rating.

We recap the Nexus taking out the Chamber competitors so far tonight.

Here are Vickie and Dolph for no apparent reason other than we’re talking about Smackdown.  She says exactly what you would expect her to say until Cena’s music cuts her off.  He references Christina Aguliera butchering the national anthem at the Super Bowl.  He also apologizes for R-Truth, saying that Truth celebrated a bit too much because we’re in Milwaukee.

Cole morphs into the anti-Cena fan, saying it’s the same stuff every time.  Cena starts talking about the last time they were in a ring and Cena kissed Vickie.  Vickie and Dolph threaten to leave if the fans boo and Cena says you heard them, prompting huge heat.  He starts up a GO PACK GO chant, which is a local favorite and is enough to get them to go.

Cena talks about what Nexus has been up to tonight and gets another jab at Truth.  “They beat Truth up so badly that he forgot what city he’s in.”  The flaw in Nexus’ plan though is that Cena is still here.  He starts using the phrase Elimination Chamber instead of PPV.  There’s something awesome about people saying what they’re planning and seeing the Mania sign over their shoulders.  That’s always cool to see.

Another 2-21-11 ad, the same as before.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Cena keeps looking at the entrance during Punk’s entrance.  Nice little touch there.  Punk hammers him into the corner to start as he controls early.  All Punk so far.  A charge in the corner misses though as this crowd is pathetic.  Cena can’t get momentum going though as he has to keep looking for Nexus.  Out to the floor with Punk landing a clothesline from the apron to keep control.

Back in the ring and it’s the knee and clothesline out of the corner to put Cena down.  The crowd is DEAD.  Punk says Cena can’t see him.  GTS is countered.  You can see some stuffing in Punk’s nose.  Cena pounds him down in the corner and the referee says he’ll disqualify Cena if he keeps that up.  Cena shrugs and drills Punk low for the DQ at about 5:00.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t very good, but they had a nice little thing going with Cena constantly being afraid.  Also the low blow was smart as he knew as soon as the match was over the troops would be on their way so he took out the leader.  There’s thinking there which gives this some points.  However, the match was boring and just a bridge to the ending, which isn’t good.

Post match Nexus of course comes out with Ryan guarding Punk.  McGillicutty and Otunga corner Cena but Lawler hands Cena a chair and house is cleaned.  Cena stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t that impressed here.  The matches flew by and not much was going on at all.  They more or less burned this show off instead of going for something new for the Chamber.  That’s fine, but the problem is that it gets a bit boring.  There was nothing going on here for the most part though other than Punk trying to take out his opponents.  It’s not horrible, but I didn’t get excited once throughout the show, which isn’t a good thing.  Pretty weak show but not awful at all.

Results

R-Truth b. Mason Ryan via DQ when Ryan wouldn’t let go of his hold and the initial decision was reversed

Eve Torres/Tamina/Gail Kim b. Bella Twins/Melina – Spinning neckbreaker to Melina

John Morrison b. Michael McGillicutty – Starship Pain

Daniel Bryan/Jerry Lawler b. The Miz/Ted DiBiase – Second Rope Punch to DiBiase

Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker

CM Punk b. John Cena via DQ when Cena hit Punk low