Monday Night Raw – May 2, 2022: I Have No Idea

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2022
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania Backlash and that means it is time for the final push towards the event. Granted after last week’s Smackdown, everything has changed again as we have a six man tag between the Bloodline and RKBro/Drew McIntyre. Yeah just a six man, with no titles currently on the line. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. Paul Heyman handles Roman Reigns’ introduction and Reigns himself tells North Carolina to acknowledge him….but RKBro runs in to RKO the Usos. Cue Drew McIntyre with Angela the sword, leaving Reigns looking worried. The sword is dropped down so McIntyre gets in, with the Usos and RKBro joining them. Referees come down to break up the fight and we take an early break.

Earlier today, Ezekiel met with the Street Profits and had a drink. Kevin Owens (in a Becky Lynch shirt) and Alpha Academy came in to accuse Ezekiel of cheating at the lie detector test. A six man was set up for later.

Street Profits/Ezekiel vs. Kevin Owens/Alpha Academy

And now it’s later. Gable gets double flapjacked (with Montez Ford looking like he was trying something else) for an early two and the armbar goes on. Gable reverses into one of his own before it’s off to Otis. The power starts cranking up but a triple dropkick knocks him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ford still in trouble and Owens hitting a middle rope moonsault to the legs for two. Ford fights out of a chinlock and scores with an enziguri for the double knockdown. The hot tag brings in Ezekiel to clean house, including a heck of a Stinger Splash. Everything breaks down and Owens trips Ezekiel so Gable can grab a rollup for the pin at 9:54.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why you need to have Ezekiel take the pin here, but I’m sure we needed to protect the Profits more than someone they’re trying to present as something. Owens vs. Ezekiel is probably coming next week on Raw with some weird truth stipulation, though I’m still not sure what the endgame is with Ezekiel. That being said, it’s more interesting than anything Elias had done in months, so we’ll call this an upgrade.

AJ Styles isn’t happy with Edge and Damian Priest and he’s ready for them at Wrestlemania Backlash.

We look at Sonya Deville trying to cheat Bianca Belair out of the Raw Women’s Title last week but not being able to pull it off. After the match, she yelled at Carmella and Zelina Vega for screwing up.

Adam Pearce has been ordered to put Deville into a six woman tag, with Deville saying it should be No Holds Barred. Pearce seems to shoot her down but reminds Deville that she has no executive power.

Veer Mahaan vs. Burt Hanson

Before the match, Hanson says he is scared to death but he has always wanted to compete on Raw in his hometown and now he is making his dream come true. Mahaan throws him around to start and hits the Million Dollar Arm. The Cervical Clutch finishes at 1:32.

Post match Mahaan puts the Clutch on again in the ropes, allowing commentary to continue saying CERVICAL CLUTCH over and over again.

We look at Edge and Damian Priest taking AJ Styles out.

AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

If Styles wins, Priest is barred from ringside on Sunday. Before the match, Edge insults the city and the sports teams it doesn’t have. Styles comes out to cut them off and they start fast with Priest throwing him around. The chinlock goes on for a bit before AJ fights up and sends him outside. The slingshot forearm connects but Priest is right back up. AJ gets lawn darted into the post and we take an early break.

Back with Styles hitting the torture rack spun into a powerbomb for two. Priest fights him off again and grabs the South Of Heaven chokeslam for two of his own. Styles loads up the Calf Crusher but an Edge distraction breaks it up. That’s fine with Styles, who rolls Priest up with a cradle for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C. The match was pretty cookie cutter for the most part, but what mattered here was getting to the next logical point in the feud. Styles needs some kind of help to deal with the numbers game and getting rid of Priest will be a nice step. At the same time, this opens the door for someone else to join up with Edge and Priest, which opens up some possibilities.

Post match Edge jumps Styles but Finn Balor runs in for the save. That’s a good partner for Styles and Too Sweeting ensues.

Cedric Alexander comes up to Omos and MVP for some sucking up. He even has a match with Bobby Lashley tonight to prove himself, with MVP and Omos saying they’ll be watching. Alexander can leave now.

It’s time for MizTV, with Miz not being happy about what his guest did last week. Cue Mustafa Ali as his guest, but his music cuts off during his entrance. Then “Must’s” microphone doesn’t work, even as Miz talks about how the fans forgot about him during his hiatus. Miz: “Please Must, don’t go to Twitter and complain.” Ali steals the Miz’s microphone and says that he goes to the people when he is frustrated, but Miz gets his own mic to work again as Theory interrupts.

Theory has some good news for Miz: he has gone to Vince McMahon and suggested that last week’s loss to Ali be stricken from the record books. Ali wants Theory’s US Title, and that’s fine with Theory, who has gotten Ali a Champions Contenders match tonight. Theory says he doesn’t know if Ali can handle the heat, but Ali says if anyone can handle the heat from back there, it’s him. That’s cool with Theory, so let’s make the contenders match a handicap match.

Miz/Theory vs. Mustafa Ali

Joined in progress with Corey Graves daring to accidentally call him AUSTIN theory. A low bridge sends Ali out to the floor and it’s Theory getting two off a stomp to the stomach back inside. Ali fights out of a chinlock and sends Miz into the corner, setting up a neckbreaker for two of his own. Theory offers a distraction though and the Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin at 2:52. Well Ali did better than I was expecting: he lasted one week.

Post match Ciampa runs in to jump Ali as well.

Earlier today, Reggie tried to talk Dana Brooke into a honeymoon but they ran into R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and Tamina. The argument over the 24/7 Title was on but Nikki Ash ran in to steal the title before running off. Dana told Reggie to get her a rematch tonight.

24/7 Title: Dana Brooke vs. Nikki Ash

Ash is defending and ties Brooke up in the ring skirt to forearm away early on. Back in and Brooke hits a flipping neckbreaker for the pin and the title at 1:34.

Post match everyone goes after the title, like they always do, but Brooke manages to escape. Then she tells Reggie that she wants a divorce.

Becky Lynch rants about how Asuka is trying to steal her comeback story. This is Becky’s story and it starts with ending Asuka.

Here is Seth Rollins for his own appreciation night. Rollins thinks it is appropriate to give him a night of praise, including a spotlight. The fans chant for Cody Rhodes, which doesn’t sit well with Rollins. He is ready for Cody at Wrestlemania Backlash, but here is Cody to interrupt. Cody talks about how he has been courteous to Rollins since he returned, but that loss is hanging around Rollins’ neck. Rollins doesn’t like being called delusional and says that Dusty Rhodes didn’t win the WWE Title because he wasn’t good enough. The beating is on with the Cody Cutter sending Rollins running.

Bobby Lashley vs. Cedric Alexander

MVP and Omos come out at the bell, with the former mocking Lashley for not being able to beat Cedric and thinking he could beat Omos. Alexander gets in some cheap shots to work on the knee but gets sent into the barricade. Back in and a spear (big one too) sets up the Hurt lock to finish Alexander at 2:36.

Liv Morgan is ready to take out Rhea Ripley.

We look back at AJ Styles beating Damian Priest.

Wrestlemania Backlash rundown.

R-Truth gives Reggie his business card as a certified divorce attorney. He is A Squire after all, which he explains as they walk past Nikki Ash. Doudrop pops up to yell at her and ask if Ash is ready to be more serious.

Becky Lynch/Sonya Deville/Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka/Liv Morgan/Bianca Belair

Becky slaps Asuka’s hand away to start but gets backed into the corner for her efforts. Deville comes in so Asuka hands it off to Belair, meaning Deville needs to hide in the ropes. It’s off to Ripley, who gets taken down to the mat so Liv can come in. Some running shoulders rock Becky and a middle rope dropkick gets two. Ripley offers a distraction so Liv dives onto her to let off some steam. A baseball slide drops Liv though and Becky’s top rope leg gets two as we take a break.

Back with Ripley working on Liv’s back as everyone but Deville claps on the apron. Liv escapes the Manhandle Slam though and grabs a DDT, allowing Belair to come back in and slam Ripley. Belair goes up but gets double superplexed back down, with Liv making the save. The big tag brings in Asuka as everything breaks down until Deville and Morgan trade rollups for two each. Deville’s running knee gets two on Morgan but she’s right back with Oblivion for the pin at 15:10.

Rating: C+. That was certainly a way to go, though I’m not sure who is next for Belair at this point. Deville has had her shot and now Morgan is winning, but Morgan isn’t going to be a major challenger. Odds are Belair doesn’t defend on Sunday, and right now that might be for the best as I don’t think there is anyone ready for the shot, at least not based on how the booking has been going.

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what planet this show was supposed to be on and that doesn’t make me think much about Sunday. The main event story here was either the six man tag (which isn’t for a title) or the six woman tag (which also isn’t for a title). It was like they were trying to make every story equally unimportant and unfortunately they succeeded. Nothing on Sunday feels special, as it comes off like WWE is saying the show doesn’t matter. Why they would want to do that I’m not sure, but the pay per view has taken a hard turn and Raw felt like it didn’t know it was coming.

Results
Kevin Owens/Alpha Academy b. Ezekiel/Street Profits – Rollup to Ezekiel
Veer Mahaan b. Bert Hanson – Cervical Clutch
AJ Styles b. Damian Priest – Rollup
Miz/Theory b. Mustafa Ali – Skull Crushing Finale
Dana Brooke b. Nikki Ash – Flipping neckbreaker
Bobby Lashley b. Cedric Alexander – Hurt Lock
Bianca Belair/Liv Morgan/Asuka b. Sonya Deville/Rhea Ripley/Becky Lynch – Oblivion to Deville

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 5, 2007: A Wacky Side Trip With Special Appearances

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,133
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and now that the Smackdown main event has been announced, you have to expect the Raw counterpart will be set up soon. The big story tonight is a one night reunion of D-Generation X, as HHH needs some help deal with Randy Orton and Umaga. Sounds Survivor Seriesish to me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Fabulous Moolah.

Opening sequence.

Here is D-Generation X to get things going. After a fairly long entrance, HHH says this is for one night only and asks if we’re ready. The catchphrase is loaded up but a crotch chopping Hornswoggle interrupts. HHH: “Well that’s…different.” HHH tells him to get back under the ring but Hornswoggle doesn’t listen. Shawn is asked for a run sheet and, after going through all of his merchandise, finds said sheet in his boot (Shawn: “In case I forget what I’m supposed to do.”).

The sheet says DX PROMO in segment one at 9PM (HHH: “East coast time.”) and Hornswoggle isn’t on until the short segment. Hornswoggle then armdrags Shawn into an armscissors (with HHH pointing out that it is the SHORT armscissors). Shawn: “I’m going to make a judgment call here: for tonight, he’s in.”. Hornswoggle doesn’t want to go under the ring because there’s a monster under there.

Shawn goes to look….and is pulled under. He comes back up with worms in his mouth so here is the Boogeyman. HHH hands him a mic, with Boogeyman saying “I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMING TO…..see if I can join DX.” Shawn makes another executive decision and lets Boogeyman in again so here is Great Khali as a bonus. Shawn: “To keep me from turning into a human Slim Jim, let’s pretend he isn’t here and move on.” HHH goes into an Indian impression that would get him thrown off the air today but now it’s Coach interrupting.

HHH isn’t having this and tells Runjin Singh what Coach said about Khali earlier. Shawn, who CAN’T LIE, backs HHH up and Khali chases Coach to the floor. Everyone else leaves, with Shawn saying he doesn’t know who writes this anymore but this is the worst thing he’s seen since that Katie Vick thing. HHH: “I don’t think anyone writes this crap. They’re on strike.” Catchphrases are hit to wrap up the wackiness.

Actor Luke Perry is here. There are some kids around him, and if one of those is his son, we have seen the wrestling debut of the future Jungle Boy.

We look back at Kelly Kelly winning last week’s Halloween battle royal and getting destroyed by Beth Phoenix after.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Phoenix grabs a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin in less than a minute. Well so much for Kelly for the time being, which is how it should go in this situation.

Santino Marella knows that Steve Austin will be here tonight and mocks Austin’s acting abilities. He even throws in a paper bag, so Austin can act his way out of it.

Carlito vs. Joey Munoz

Hold on though as Carlito says he isn’t wrestling so here is a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Joey Munoz

Pumphandle slam finishes Munoz in about thirty seconds.

Post match Snitsky kicks Carlito in the face and gives him the pumphandle slam too. Time for another Snitsky push it seems.

We get a Jeff Hardy video set to Rooftops by Lostprophets. This is actually on Peacock despite it being a music video and the Lostprophets singer being a monster. That aside, this is a heck of a video, with the lyrics about screaming and dropping bombs being timed to shots of fans screaming for Hardy and Swantons. You can tell something big is coming for him and that is a very good idea. Ignore Jerry Lawler being heard asking “how long is it” after the video starts.

For Survivor Series: Team HHH (HHH/CM Punk/Kane/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy) vs. Team Umaga (Umaga/MVP/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/Big Daddy V).

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy

JR dubs Hardy and Mysterio as the WWE Air Force. Hardy and Finlay go to the mat to start until a Kennedy distraction lets Finlay hit a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a springboard crossbody on Kennedy, only to have him run Mysterio over.

It’s Finlay coming back in to go after the knee, including a half crab. The legdrop onto the knee makes it worse and Kennedy adds a right hand for two. Mysterio is back with something like a DDT, allowing the hot tag off to Hardy to clean house. The Whisper in the Wind hits Kennedy but Finlay makes the save. Rey 619s Finlay to the floor, leaving Hardy to hit the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard midcard tag match here with the wrestlers involved being good enough to make almost anything work. Mysterio vs. Finlay is set up for a blowoff on Friday while Hardy vs. Kennedy seems to have run its course. That being said, throw in the video package before the match and it is hard to imagine they are waiting much longer on giving Hardy the main event push, which seems to have been set up for a few weeks now.

Maria tries to tell Santino Marella that Steve Austin is here but he doesn’t buy it.

Here are Maria and Santino Marella for a chat. Santino mocks the Condemned, then he mocks the Condemned’s director, then he mocks the Condemned again, then Steve Austin comes out. Austin corrects Santino’s errors in his catchphrases and then asks about the Condemned again. Santino really did hate the movie and turns down a beer, saying he would rather have a glass of red wine. Austin hands him a copy of the Condemned but Santino can’t watch it again.

There’s the Stunner, allowing Austin to put the DVD in Santino’s mouth. Austin thinks Santino is thirsty and goes to the back before coming out driving a beer truck. Santino gets sprayed down and, despite her begging, so does Maria. Beer is consumed to wrap up a segment that wasn’t funny and felt pretty out of character for Austin. I know he needs to promote a DVD, but that just doesn’t feel like an Austin thing.

SAVE US!

Vince McMahon is in the back with Hornswoggle and takes the blame for the trouble Hornswoggle has had with Jonathan Coachman. McMahon even has a way for Hornswoggle to prove himself at Survivor Series…..when he faces Great Khali.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is in the back and has been asked to talk because they need to fill in time while Steve Austin’s mess is cleaned up. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he has it set, so here are the DX Dancers….which is Big Dick Johnson. HHH isn’t impressed but Shawn says he’s a father of two so the only cool thing he knows is Dora the Explorer. Don’t worry though as HHH has The Girls Next Door (from a Playboy reality show, meaning Shawn leaves with his eyes covered). Dancing ensues and it’s very strange to see HHH…..I guess it’s dancing but I’m not sure.

Lance Cade sends Mickie James away for talking to Trevor Murdoch.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes

Ignore Lilian Garcia saying Lance Cade (at ringside) is in the match by mistake. Hardcore Holly is here too and Rhodes is sent to the apron to start, where he gets in a shoulder to the ribs. Murdoch breaks that up and takes him down for a chinlock as Lawler and JR make as many redneck jokes as they can. Rhodes fights up and hits a bulldog into a knee drop for two but Cade’s distraction fails. Murdoch misses a charge into the corner though and Rhodes grabs a sunset flip for the pin. Not much to this one but Rhodes wins again.

Tribute video to Fabulous Moolah. This includes a rundown of her career highlights, such as becoming the first woman to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. I guess she wrestled herself that night.

Jim Duggan/Super Crazy vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Before the match, Duggan and Crazy chant SI/HO over and over. Haas knocks Crazy over to start and hits a slam before handing it off to Benjamin. More slamming abounds as Duggan continues to play cheerleader on the apron. Benjamin knocks Duggan off the apron but Crazy grabs a rollup (with trunks) for the pin. Duggan never tagged in but he does pat Crazy on the head after the win.

Umaga/Randy Orton vs. D-Generation X

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Orton being sent into the announcers’ table before being thrown inside. Umaga comes in to miss a sitdown splash on Michaels, allowing HHH to grab a surprisingly effective DDT. HHH gets knocked outside though and we take a break. Back with Umaga missing a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Orton. That’s fine with HHH, who drops Orton almost immediately.

Michaels comes back in for the usual comeback, including the forearm and top rope elbow. Umaga isn’t having that and runs Shawn over, allowing Orton to bring Umaga in for real. Some right hands keep Shawn down in the corner and it’s back to Orton for a dropkick. The circle stomp sets up the running Umaga splash and we’re off to the nerve hold.

The middle rope headbutt misses and an enziguri to the shoulder (not sure that’s how that works) allows the hot tag back to HHH. Everything breaks down and Umaga saves Orton from the Pedigree with the Spike, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The RKO is countered with a shove into Umaga though and Shawn comes in for a quick superkick to pin Orton.

Rating: C+. Much like the other tag match, they played the formula here and it still works, as everyone involved can do this style rather well. Shawn vs. Orton II should be a good showdown at Survivor Series, while Umaga vs. HHH at least has the team format to keep things a little more fresh. The DX reunion was good for a night, but I don’t need to see it again going forward.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what this show was but it didn’t exactly work. Maybe it is due to Survivor Series coming up so soon, but this felt like a weird side trip rather than a show designed to help set up the pay per view. There were so many short matches that didn’t add much and it was a weird night all around. The DX reunion was fun but the Austin cameo fell pretty flat, leaving this as a not very appealing two hours. Much more strange than good this week and that isn’t a positive thing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 25, 2022: Maybe They’re Learning

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2022
Location: Thompson Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania Backlash but we have a special milestone to cover first. This week is twenty years to the day of Randy Orton’s WWE debut and a special tribute is planned. I’m sure nothing will happen to cause that to be derailed in any way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The ring is surrounded by wrestlers and Riddle introduces us to a rather cool tribute to Randy Orton’s career. There are clips from every major moment of his career (save for that first World Title win of course) and my goodness there have been a lot of them. With that out of the way, Riddle introduces Orton, who talks about how he was actually born right here in Knoxville.

Orton thanks a lot of the people who helped get him here, including a special mention of Mick Foley for turning him into the Legend Killer. There have been a lot of moments over the years, but he has never had more fun than he is having right now, which is good for a hug to Riddle. He thanks the fans for always coming back to him and says there would be no Legend Killer, Apex Predator or Viper without them.

Riddle has a surprise, as a second generation star who looks up to Orton as a mentor wanted to say something. Cue Cody Rhodes for a hug of his own but Seth Rollins says don’t trust Cody. He’s just out here to steal the spotlight like he did to Rollins at Wrestlemania. Rollins says Orton’s best days are behind him so he isn’t the future, meaning a new leader is needed around here.

That would be Rollins, but Ezekiel gets in the ring to interrupt. Ezekiel talks about watching dominate as the Legend Killer (with Rollins checking Ezekiel’s hair for some reason). Kevin Owens pops up to scream that Ezekiel is a liar and he is going to prove it. Now the Usos come out to say they have been watching Orton since they were fifteen. Now they are ready to unify the Tag Team Titles, but here is Adam Pearce to make a big tag match for tonight. The brawl is on, with Orton RKOing Owens to give the fans a nice moment. You could feel the emotion from Orton and it clearly meant a lot to him.

Kane is here and talking with Bianca Belair backstage.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Sonya Deville

Belair is defending and they go to the floor, where Belair throws her over the announcers’ table. Deville can’t get back in and that’s a countout at 46 seconds.

Hold on though as Sonya says not so fast because they are going to start the match again with no countouts. They fight on the floor with Belair being sent over the timekeeper’s area. She comes out with a chair shot for the DQ but Deville says restart it AGAIN, no countout and no DQ. Cue Carmella and Zelina Vega (now fine again I guess) and we take a break.

Back with Belair fighting off all three of them and sending Carmella and Vega into the corner. A victory roll sends Belair chest first into the middle buckle (which had a large chunk of hair hanging over the corner) and a DDT onto the chair gets two. Vega loads the chair into the corner but gets knocked out to the floor. Deville goes into the chair and it’s the KOD to retain the title at 8:41.

Rating: D+. What in the world was this? So Deville is the evil boss and apparently can make Carmella and Vega get out of their argument from a week or two ago? Then she just loses in about eight minutes total? This felt like a smoke and mirrors match and outside of an injury or something REALLY bigger coming, this was one of the weaker things on Raw in a pretty good while. Belair winning in her hometown was nice, but could they do it in a better way?

Post break, Zelina Vega and Carmella are arguing about whose fault that was. Deville comes in and slaps them both, saying she is still their boss.

We recap Edge and Damian Priest attacking AJ Styles last week.

Edge and Damian Priest talk about what they have been doing as of late and are ready to take out Finn Balor tonight. After some cheap shots at Knoxville, Edge talks about how AJ Styles isn’t here tonight because of that bad arm. That’s the same arm that AJ hurt in the 2020 Royal Rumble when Edge started his big comeback. Edge isn’t worried about the Phenomenal Forearm because AJ can’t hit it with one arm. As for tonight, Balor’s judgment has already been determined.

Veer Mahaan vs. Sam Smothers

Big boot, Million Dollar Arm, Cervical Clutch for the tap at 40 seconds.

Post match Mahaan sends him outside and puts the hold on again, including another one on the announcers’ table.

It’s time for arm wrestling between Omos and Bobby Lashley, with MVP talking some trash before Lashley comes out. MVP talks about how this started when Lashley went to Wrestlemania without him, which is why MVP has moved on to someone better than Lashley in every possible way.

Cue Lashley to cut him off and we’re ready to go. They don’t waste time here and go straight to it, with Omos taking over early. MVP talks a lot of trash to fire Lashley up though and Lashley eventually wins. Then MVP teases a cane shot so Omos can jump Lashley and beat him down. The arm wrestling table crushes Lashley over and over, much to MVP’s approval.

We look back at last week’s double commitment ceremony, which led to a bunch of 24/7 Title changes.

Earlier today, R-Truth announced that he is a marriage counselor and has set up a mixed tag between them tonight. Oh and he’ll be guest referee (complete with another certificate), which might have been more interesting if this hadn’t aired after he came to the ring in a referee shirt with an announcement of the match.

Akira Tozawa/Tamina vs. Dana Brooke/Reggie

R-Truth is guest referee. The women start with Tamina grabbing her by the hair….and seems to tease a kiss until Tozawa tags himself in. Reggie comes in as well and hits a corkscrew crossbody but Tozawa knocks him down. The top rope backsplash (with an I LOVE YOU to Tamina) finishes Reggie at 1:26.

Post match Tozawa throws Dana down and covers her but Truth breaks it up….and rolls Dana up for two (counting himself). Dana leaves while shouting that she trusted Truth.

Long video on Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins, including last week when Kevin Owens walked out on Rollins during a match with Rhodes.

Here is a very sad looking Becky Lynch for her first appearance since Wrestlemania. It has been three years since she came out here without a title and now she doesn’t recognize herself anymore. She is at rock bottom….but that means it can be the start of an other Becky Lynch comeback. It means she can beat Bianca Belair and win the title back to be the champion again and no one can ever take it from her. Cue ASUKA for a surprise return and Lynch looks like she has seen a ghost. Asuka rants in Japanese before saying she’ll stop Becky. She flicks Becky in the nose so Lynch swings and misses, meaning it’s time to run.

We look back at the Street Profits using the Usos’ theme song to distract and beat RKBro last week.

The Street Profits recap various things taking place around here and want the next shot at whoever leaves Wrestlemania Backlash with the titles.

Finn Balor vs. Damian Priest

Edge is on his throne on the stage and Priest is “representing Judgment Day”. Priest shoulders him down to start but Balor gets in a clothesline to the floor. That’s fine with Priest, who hits a Razor’s Edge onto the apron as we take a break. Back with Balor fighting out of a cravate and hitting the shotgun dropkick into the corner. The Coup de Grace is loaded up but Balor stops to look at Edge for too long and gets knocked back down. A lifting Downward Spiral gives Priest the pin at 7:18.

Rating: C. I like that the new monsters are getting some wins, but it’s yet another instance of Balor going up and then coming right back down a short while later. Priest had to win here to keep the team strong and now they can move on to AJ Styles again. It was nice to see the logical path, but seeing Balor not lose over and over would be nice as well.

It’s time for MizTV, with Miz getting straight to the point by bringing out new United States Champion, Theory, as his guest. After an awkward discussion of first names, Miz says it is nice to see the United States Title having some credibility after twelve years of nothingness. Theory remembers that Miz was US Champion twelve years ago and talks about growing up watching Miz. He promises to become the US Champion but Miz has some advice for him: don’t trust anyone.

People want to win the title and take it from Theory….and Mustafa Ali of all people interrupts. Miz: “You still work here?” Theory: “Aren’t you the guy who took his ball and went home?” Miz: “You’re Mufasa, Mustafa’s younger brother!” Ali says if he wanted to laugh, all he has to do is watch Miz wrestle. He was talking to Adam Pearce and is hoping that Theory is holding an open challenge for that title so he can answer it tonight.

Theory shoots that down so Ali asks if Theory is all biceps and no balls. Ali says Theory is out here running like the Miz, which has Theory praising Miz. A match sounds good to Miz, but he doesn’t have a magic wand. Theory says he does though, because he just texted Vince McMahon and the match is set.

Mustafa Ali vs. Miz

Miz works on the arm to start but Ali flips up, only to get big booted in the face. Another kick to the head gives Miz two and it’s time for the chinlock. With that broken up, Miz chops away in the corner, only to have Ali duck underneath and chop away even more. A hard whip into the corner drops Ali again but he kicks Miz down.

Ali’s rolling neckbreaker gives him a breather but Miz kicks the leg out and hits the DDT for two of his own. Ali sends him to the apron and catches Miz on top with right hands. Miz knocks him down and tries the Figure Four, which is reversed into a rollup to give Ali the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one, but some of that might be due to my mind being blown at the fact that Ali actually showed up on WWE TV again. I’m glad to see him back, but he was in a pretty lame match here as it felt rather slow and Ali didn’t get to do much. What mattered was that he won though and maybe he could get somewhere this time around.

Post match Tommaso Ciampa jumps Ali and I’m interested.

We look back at Rhea Ripley turning on Liv Morgan.

Ripley talks about how she came here and dominated on her own but then got turned into a tag wrestler. Now she is back on her own and doing everything for herself, but here is Morgan to jump her and start the brawl.

The Alpha Academy is trying to get Kevin Owens to pay up for last week but he wants the full lie detector results first. Seth Rollins comes in and thinks there are more important things to discuss so the Academy leaves. Owens doesn’t think much of Rollins but here are the Usos to say they need to be on the same page or Roman Reigns won’t be happy. Rollins laughs that off and they are all left alone.

We look back at the arm wrestling match.

MVP isn’t worried about Bobby Lashley, because Omos has challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania Backlash. Omos seems ready for some violence.

Cody Rhodes/Ezekiel/RKBro vs. Usos/Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens

Ezekiel jumps Owens to start and the good guys clear the ring before the bell. We’re joined in progress with Ezekiel hitting a delayed vertical suplex on Jimmy. Riddle comes in for a snapmare and hands it off to Orton for the assisted Floating Bro. It’s off to Rhodes, but Rollins offers a distraction so Jey can come in with the Samoan drop. Cody gets caught in the wrong corner, with the Usos getting in some shots each.

Rollins comes in but misses a charge in the corner, allowing the tag back to Ezekiel. A spinebuster plants Rollins for two but he sends Ezekiel into the corner for the tag to Riddle. Rollins catches him up top in a hurry though and a reverse superplex sends us to a break. Back with Riddle hitting Rollins with a Floating Bro but Jey breaks up the hot tag attempt. Riddle fights up and hits a jumping knee but the villains take his partners off the apron.

Owens’ Swanton gets two on Riddle and Jey adds an enziguri…which sends Riddle right into Orton for the tag. House is cleaned but everything breaks down, with Orton dropping the bad guys onto the announcers’ table. There’s the hanging DDT to Jey but Rollins jumps Orton from behind. The Disaster Kick sends Rollins into the RKO and Ezekiel knocks Owens into another RKO. Riddle knees Jimmy into a pop up RKO and Orton RKO’s Jey off the top for the pin at 15:11.

Rating: B. What mattered here was they didn’t do anything screwy. This match wasn’t so much about advancing much of anything in a major way but rather making Orton look like a star on a special night. They made that work here as Orton got to run through everyone at the end with one RKO than another. The match had some good action and was fun, with the ending being a highlight.

Orton and company celebrate for a good while to end the show and nothing bad happens to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Women’s Title match aside, they got in a nice show this week with two big returns and Orton looking like a star. I liked most of what we got here, but what gave me hope more than everything else is that Belair and Orton didn’t get the hometown punishment. Maybe WWE is starting to get the idea of letting the fans have fun and for the most part, they did that this week.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Sonya Deville – KOD
Veer Mahaan b. Sam Smothers – Cervical Clutch
Akira Tozawa/Tamina b. Dana Brooke/Reggie – Top rope backsplash to Reggie
Damian Priest b. Finn Balor – Top rope Downward Spiral
Mustafa Ali b. Miz – Rollup
RKBro/Ezekiel/Cody Rhodes b. Usos/Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins – RKO to Jimmy

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 29, 2007: Reboot The Computre

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and on the way to Survivor Series, which means things can get a bit more back to normal around here. The big Raw story was that Randy Orton retained the WWE Title over Shawn Michaels after getting himself disqualified, which means we are probably heading for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Divas Battle Royal

Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Melina, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool

Most of the entrances are edited off of Peacock (music I’m assuming) and they’re all in Halloween costumes here. Layla (cop) is eliminated first as Victoria rolls wild in her sumo (read as fat) suit. The bottom rope Banzai drop crushes Brooke (jungle girl) to get rid of her and Michelle tosses Jillian (Brittney Spears), only to have Melina eliminate Michelle (Eve).

Melina (showgirl) and Mickie (Native American warrior princess) go to the apron with Melina eliminating both of them at once. Torrie Wilson uses her football helmet to run Victoria over as JR tries to find out if Victoria is in her suit alone. Kelly (gangsta) dumps out both Torrie (Philadelphia Eagle) and Victoria for the win.

Rating: D. What were you really expecting here? There was no reason for the match to take place other than to have the women out there in their outfits, which we had seen the night before at the pay per view. Kelly winning is a bit of a surprise, but she is the kind of woman that WWE would love to push to the moon if she can do anything in the ring at the moment.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to lay Kelly out.

We look at Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels from last night.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn is thankful to everyone who voted for him last night but he didn’t win the WWE Title. He has heard a lot of people talking about their grapefruits, but HBShizzle is going to be honest with you: you have to have pinpoint accuracy to hit his. What maters is that he won the match though, and now he his getting a rematch. He wants it tonight, but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

McMahon knows that people want to see him be the champion again and Vince seems to like the idea too. He knows what Shawn really wants is revenge though because, despite that Bible reading, Shawn is a rotten man. Shawn admits that he spent four years wanting revenge, which he swore he would never do when he went home in 2002.

Now he wants to hurt Randy Orton and take him out, so does he have his rematch or not? Vince says Survivor Series is an appropriate name, and says the match is on without saying what he means. Then Shawn teases a superkick to Vince, who falls down in fear. Kind of an odd segment but more to come I’m sure.

You can vote for the Diva Search winners!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Holly and Shelton start things off with Benjamin taking him down for some shots to the head. It’s off to Haas, who gets chopped rather loudly before the villains take over again without much trouble. Holly gets in another shot though and the hot tag brings in Cody, who comes in off the top with a clothesline. Cody blocks Haas’ DDT and hits one of his own for the fast pin. Holly still doesn’t seem convinced.

Candice Michelle has broken her collar bone in a horrific injury. It is so bad that we look at it again just so you don’t forget about the whole thing.

Beth Phoenix cuts off Todd Grisham and says she has no regrets over what she did to Candice Michelle last week. Then this week, the Divas were out there in their costumes because no one takes this stuff seriously. Candice can go back in Wisconsin, knowing that she was destroyed by the Glamazon.

Trevor Murdoch is reading the 500th issue of WWE Magazine when Mickie James comes up. She thanks him for not letting Lance Cade clothesline her last week, but Murdoch doesn’t like seeing an innocent girl get hurt. Mickie: “I’m not that innocent.” Cade comes up and, after Mickie leaves, gets on Murdoch for not having his head in the game.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and recaps Vince’s issues with HHH and Shawn Michaels. Vince says his issues with HHH is personal, which brings him to Hornswoggle. Regal brings Hornswoggle in and leaves Vince to talk about how he hasn’t been around Hornswoggle enough. Tonight, Hornswoggle has to face Coach and Vince wants the family honor upheld. Hornswoggle needs to learn how to deal with victory, because it is his family’s birthright. If he is a McMahon, he needs to start to hate and he needs to start tonight. Hornswoggle starts grunting and shouts as he runs off.

SAVE US!

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman

Hold on though as we need a guest referee, which brings out Mick Foley. Coach charges but Foley gets in his way, allowing Hornswoggle to run around a bit. Hornswoggle goes to the leg but Coach grabs him by the beard. That’s broken up as well and Hornswoggle knocks him down, only to miss the bottom rope elbow. Coach hits Foley out of frustration and grabs a chair, only to have Foley knock him down. Hornswoggle has his own Mr. Socko and grabs Coach between the leg, allowing Foley to add a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good but at the end of the day, what are you expecting here? They played up the comedy and had Foley here to even things up a bit. You don’t need to do anything beyond the obvious here and it was perfectly fine, even if the match was barely there aside from the comedy stuff.

HHH, in a rather hideous shirt, is almost depressed by Todd Grisham’s pep talk before the handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton tonight. The odds are against him but he has an ace up his sleeve, so if he goes down, they’re coming with him. They’re two of the worst in the game, but he is the Game.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

Trevor Murdoch and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hits a quick crossbody for two but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Cade sends him to the apron, with London coming back in with a springboard crossbody. A Murdoch distraction lets Cade hit his sitout spinebuster for the fast pin.

Post match the Highlanders come in and beat down London and Kendrick before glaring at Cade and Murdoch.

Jeff Hardy/DH Smith vs. Carlito/Mr. Kennedy

Smith is being thrown into the deep pretty quickly. Hardy and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy grabbing a headlock. That earns him a heck of a clothesline but Kennedy pulls Hardy into the corner so Carlito can come in. Some shoulders to the ribs don’t do much for Carlito as Hardy kicks him down and grabs his leg trap cradle for two. Smith comes in and gets chopped in the corner, only to come back with a clothesline to send Carlito outside. Kennedy joins him thanks to Hardy and the good guys pose as we take a break.

Back with Smith fighting out of an Indian Deathlock but getting pulled back into the corner so Kennedy can stay on the leg. Kennedy draws in Hardy to get in a few more leg shots because he knows how to villain. Smith manages an enziguri though and the hot tag brings Hardy in to start cleaning house. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Carlito with Kennedy having to make the save. Smith drops Kennedy though and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Pretty basic tag formula here but they have thrown Smith straight into the middle of the midcard and he hasn’t looked bad so far. Granted I don’t know how far you’re going to go with the name DH Smith but playing into the British Bulldog relation and then giving him some wins is a good way to start. Now do something with it, as you can always use some fresh blood.

Here is Santino Marella for a chat. He wants to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department, who screwed up and prevented him from showing up and giving Steve Austin a piece of his mind. At least his in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemned! Cue Steve Austin…..’s music, as Marella pops up on screen doing an Austin impression and offering to beat up Marella with a can of the a** whip.

Cue Maria to say that Austin (originally described as “he”, prompting Santino to tell her to not use pronouns) is going to be here next week (which receives NO reaction in an odd moment). Marella accuses her of being on internet chat sites again, because the only place you’ll see Austin is on the cover of the Condemned in the discount bin at the gas station.

Here are the Diva Search finalists. Eve wins and is rather happy. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have this on a show about how the viewers had control?

SAVE US, now with “19_LAUNCH” and “BREAK THE CODE” visible.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title. HHH and Umaga start things off but an Orton distraction means HHH has to split his time. A jumping clothesline drops Umaga but he’s right back with some right hands in the corner. Umaga hits the Samoan drop on HHH and the double teaming is on….so here is Shawn Michaels for the DQ and the save.

HHH and Shawn clean house, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We cut to Vince McMahon and William Regal in the back, with Vince saying DX is back next week for one night only.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a lame way to come off a pretty good pay per view, though Survivor Series in just a few weeks should be an upgrade. There wasn’t much to see on the show, as they didn’t have anything noteworthy in the ring and McMahon going after HHH feels a bit tired. Next week looks stacked though so maybe this is just a bad one off week. At least I hope it is.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 18, 2022: They Didn’t Mess Up

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2022
Location: KeyBank Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

We are most of the way to Wrestlemania Backlash and a lot of the card has been set. Last week’s Smackdown saw RKBro vs. the Usos officially announced for the pay per view and at the moment, that is the biggest match on the card. Maybe we can get some more things added this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Cody Rhodes beating the Miz last week and then setting up his Wrestlemania Backlash rematch with Seth Rollins.

Here is Seth Rollins to get things going. Rollins gets straight to the point by calling out Cody Rhodes, who joins him in the ring. Rhodes thinks Buffalo is Rhodes Country and the fans seem to agree. Before Rollins can get anything in, the fans keep cutting him off. Rollins says he was going to talk about his respect for Rhodes and his family.

After all of those years of hard work to become the American Nightmare, Rollins made him a star in one night at Wrestlemania. Rhodes asks him to get to the point, so Rollins says he wasn’t properly prepared at Wrestlemania, hence his loss. Rollins will be ready at Wrestlemania Backlash and he is ready to win once and for all. Rhodes remembers Rollins being to the top of the mountain four times, but Rhodes was the winner at Wrestlemania.

It’s true that Rhodes has been gone for six years and he spent some time in management. One thing he learned is that sometimes you need a mediator, so how about the good people of Buffalo? A quick audience poll seems to favor Rhodes, but Rollins has an idea of his own: Rhodes vs. an opponent of Rollins’ choice tonight. Rhodes is in as it continues to still work for him.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley

Banks and Naomi are defending with Banks getting knocked down to start. Ripley wheelbarrows Liv into a splash for two but Banks is back up with a kick to drop Liv. Everything breaks down fast and they all go to the floor, with Banks getting hit with Riptide onto the barricade, leaving her looking very….surprised (Maybe?) as we take a break. Back with an assisted powerbomb setting up Riptide on Naomi but Banks makes the save. The Codebreaker into the Bubba Bomb into a rollup gives Banks the pin at Ripley at 7:26.

Rating: C. The match was pretty short and to the point but Ripley and Morgan lose, again, because the team that was put together all of a month ago needs to have some emotional split. It isn’t like the champs are some legendary pairing either, as this division continues to exist for the sole purpose of giving women a token story.

Post match Morgan and Ripley argue, with Ripley turning on her to end their time together after….about six weeks? Maybe?

We look back at Sonya Deville attacking Bianca Belair to set herself up as Belair’s first challenger.

Rhea Ripley is asked about an explanation but we don’t deserve one.

Here is Sonya Deville for a chat. She talks about how she is a competitor who wants to face the best in WWE. That is why she wanted to face Bianca Belair, because Deville doesn’t want to beat some each champion. Cue Belair to say but Deville threatens her with problems if she touches a WWE official. Belair is ready for the match right now but Deville says we’ll do it next week in Belair’s hometown next week. Deville keeps needling her and gets caught in the KOD, which means Deville has to threaten her with losing the title right now. Belair drops her and leaves.

Veer Mahaan vs. Jeff Brooks

Brooks gets driven into the corner to start and then thrown back out of it. The Million Dollar arm sets up the Cervical Clutch to make Brooks tap at 1:01.

Post match Mahaan does it two more times, despite referees and agents coming in.

In the back, Sonya Deville is ranting to Adam Pearce about Bianca Belair’s conduct and wants a huge fine. Belair comes in and pays her fine: $1.

Here is Kevin Owens for the KO Show and Chad Gable is in the ring to administer a lie detector test. Owens isn’t happy with Elias pretending to be his younger brother Ezekiel needs to get out here right now for the test. Cue Ezekiel, who says he is Elias’ younger brother, sending Gable into a rant about how Gable Steveson is overrated. Owens says focus, because he is getting $150 Canadian for this.

They get to the questions, with Ezekiel being truthful about his identity. Each one sends Owens further and further over the edge but Ezekiel has finally had enough. He has his first match tonight but Owens is tired of all this lying. Threats are made and Ezekiel basically tells him to bring it. Owens leaves so Gable jumps Ezekiel from behind.

Ezekiel vs. Chad Gable

Ezekiel charges at him to start but Gable grabs a dragon screw legwhip out of the corner. It’s time to go after the knee with a spinning toehold of all things before Gable goes up. The moonsault hits a raised boot though and Ezekiel (Ezekiel: “SPEAK WITH ZEKE!”) grabs a one legged Liontamer. Cue Otis to jump Ezekiel for the DQ at 3:28.

Rating: D+. Ezekiel isn’t exactly a top level worker, but I don’t think giving him a pinfall in his first match is the worst idea. If you don’t want Gable getting pinned, don’t put him in the match in the first place. This just left both guys looking weak, as Gable came off like Owens’ lackey and Ezekiel gets a lame DQ win in his debut. Why do it this way when you don’t have to?

Video on RKBro vs. the Usos for Wrestlemania Backlash.

RKBro vs. Street Profits

Non-title. Dawkins powers Orton into the corner to start and Orton isn’t sure what to do here. He settles for taking Dawkins into the RKBro corner and handing it off to Riddle for a headlock. Ford comes in with the dropkick to Riddle and goes up, only to have Riddle run the corner and hit a super Spanish Fly. We take a break and come back with Riddle striking away at Ford so the hot tag can bring in Dawkins to clean house. Everything breaks down and the double hanging DDT plants the Profits. The RKO is loaded up but the Usos’ music plays for a distraction, allowing a Doomsday Blockbuster to finish Riddle at 7:38.

Rating: C. First off, big points for not running ANOTHER singles match between two tag wrestlers. Those things haven’t been interested in forever and WWE has run them into the ground over and over again for the better part of ever. The distraction ending wasn’t exactly good, but at least they set up the Usos vs. RKBro, though they might have set up a short term program with the Profits for the titles too.

Post match the Profits say RKBro needs to be worried about them.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest from last week, with Priest kneeling and the match ending.

Damian Priest and Edge, the latter sitting on a throne, says the fans need to know who they are. Edge says these seeds were planted when he was in the Brood and the Ministry of Darkness. They haven’t lived up to their potential, like last year when Priest was playing second fiddle to Bad Bunny. Then he didn’t even have a match at this year’s Wrestlemania!

Edge had to beg someone to face him at Wrestlemania and that was too far. He returned in a great moment but in two years, the fans are treating him like a part timer. The only person to stand in their way is AJ Styles so Edge officially challenges AJ for Wrestlemania Backlash. It will be AJ’s judgment day.

Post break, Styles accepts Edge’s challenge…and the lights start flickering. Edge and Priest appear and the beatdown is on, with Edge slamming a locker door on Styles’ arm over and over.

United States Title: Theory vs. Finn Balor

Theory (egads) is challenging and takes over early on by taking Balor down. We hit a rather early chinlock with Balor having to fight up and jawbreak his way to freedom. Theory takes him down again and hits a hanging neckbreaker out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Theory hitting a swinging side slam but Balor fights back. A suplex doesn’t work but Balor is able to counter a rolling something into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Balor stomps away and hits a Sling Blade into the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace is broken up though and a springboard Spanish Fly (cool) out of the corner gives Theory two. A Town Down is broken up and Balor clotheslines him to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. Back in and the Coup de Grace misses again, which bangs up the already bad neck, allowing Theory to hit A Town Down for the pin and the title at 11:35. Lawler: “SELFIES FOR EVERYONE!”

Rating: C+. After everything they did with Balor in recent weeks, they didn’t have a choice here but to change the title. Theory has beaten him time after time and it makes sense to give him the title to make him into something. Above all else, Theory gets elevated, even if it means Balor’s up and down WWE career continues.

Post match the villains come out to celebrate with Theory. Cue Vince McMahon to raise his hand and congratulate him as well.

Seth Rollins has an idea on who Cody Rhodes’ opponent will be but won’t say who it is. Now excuse him as he has a phone call from the opponent.

It’s time for the double commitment ceremony (not wedding) between Dana Brooke/Reggie and Tamina/Akira Tozawa, as presided over by R-Truth. During the ceremony, the 24/7 Title is off limits, as per Truth’s orders. Here are the women, with Sasha Banks and Naomi helping carry the bridal train. After Brooke corrects Truth on her name (it isn’t Brookes), it is time for one of the couples to be unified and the other two to get hitched.

Brooke says her vows, though the fans are not exactly interested, giving this quite the WHAT treatment. Reggie gives a to the point speech, talking about how their love has made them stronger. Tamina: “Same.” Tozawa: “What he said.” Truth asks for objections…but Tamina objects and tries to switch grooms. Actually hold on again as Tamina wants to marry Dana…..who is cool with this. Truth: “Y’ALL GONNA GET ME FIRED! I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT’S PG!”

They switch back to the original pairings and the fans still don’t like this. They exchange rings and Truth says they’re committed, so get the smooching on. Smooching ensues….and Reggie pins Brooke to win the 24/7 Title. Then Tamina wins the title. Then Tozawa wins the title. Then Brooke hits a high crossbody off the top and wins the title before jumping on Truth’s back and running off. This could have been far, far worse, even if it didn’t really accomplish anything.

We recap MVP turning on Bobby Lashley to join Omos and set up their Wrestlemania Backlash rematch.

Earlier today, MVP said he has moved on to bigger, meaner and stronger things with Omos. Before Wrestlemania Backlash, they want to let Omos display his strength. Say in an arm wrestling match next week.

Lashley talks about how he has to beat Omos to get to MVP. Is Omos stronger than him? We’ll find out next week because the arm wrestling is on.

Cody Rhodes vs. ???

Seth Rollins brings out Cody’s opponent and it’s….Kevin Owens. They start fast with Cody knocking him outside but the suicide dive is blocked with a right hand. Owens fall away slams him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting a dropkick but the snap powerslam doesn’t work. Owens hits a backsplash to the back for two and starts ripping at Rhodes’ face.

Cody fights back but the Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Owens hits a hard DDT for two. They fight outside with Cody knocking him over the announcers’ table, only to have Seth Rollins come back out. We take another break and come back with Owens breaking up a superplex attempt and nailing the frog splash for two.

A Swanton is good for the same and Owens hits the swinging superplex. They head to the apron with Cody reversing an apron powerbomb to send Owens outside. Rollins yells at Owens to get his fat a** back in….but Owens isn’t having this and takes the countout loss at 17:20.

Rating: B-. This felt like a main event and what matters is Rhodes continues his roll. I can get not wanting to have Owens take a pin here as he still has some momentum going, but Rhodes gets to beat his third World Champion in three matches. Good main event match here, and Rollins vs. Owens might be warming up for after the next pay per view.

Rollins shoves Rhodes off the top to end the show, with Rhodes holding his ankle. Notice what Lawler did at the end when he shouted “RHODES IS HURT!” That’s the old school “come back next week to see what happened” mentality that you almost never see in WWE these days. When is the last time a WWE show ended on a cliffhanger or something that made you wonder what happened after the show ended? Do more of that and make this feel more exciting.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some rocky points in here and some of it wasn’t the best, but it also didn’t have some terrible moment or some dagger to the whole show. It wasn’t some classic, but there was enough good action and movement forward, plus the wedding was funny in a bit of a car crash way. Not too bad of a week here and I’m good with that after some of the recent Raws.

Results
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan – Jackknife rollup to Ripley
Veer Mahaan b. Jeff Brooks – Cervical Clutch
Ezekiel b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Street Profits b. RKBro – Doomsday Blockbuster to Riddle
Theory b. Finn Balor – A Town Down
Cody Rhodes b. Kevin Owens via countout

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – October 22, 2007: The Voting Drive

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 22, 2007
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Cyber Sunday and…well to be fair I’ve missed a few weeks so I have almost no idea what is going on at the moment. The big story on the Raw side is Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy or Mr. Kennedy. Odds are this week is going to be about moving us closer to the inevitable so. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Mr. Kennedy is in the ring to get things going. He knows there is a decision for the fans to make about this Sunday so let’s look at the candidates. First up, you have Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy, who is like Hilary Clinton. They have the blond hair and the famous last name, but just like Clinton, Hardy won’t be able to get the job done because he has no testicular fortitude. Then you have Shawn Michaels, who is like Rudy Giuliani. They both talk well and have a resume, but they both live in the past.

What has Shawn done for him lately? Whatever it is, it is nowhere near as impressive as what Kennedy has done. Kennedy lists off everything he has done in the last year or so and kind of quotes John F. Kennedy, asking what you can do for him. Cue Jeff Hardy in the crowd though, where he has found out that Kennedy’s approval rating sucks. Kennedy says Hardy doesn’t want to get into this with him, but the fans seem to think otherwise.

Hardy lists off Kennedy’s failures, which would include failing at Cyber Sunday too. Kennedy goes to leave but Hardy gets the vote to go beat him up right now. The fight is on but Randy Orton runs in as well, meaning the villains can take Jeff down. Shawn Michaels runs in and we probably have a tag match later tonight. Orton and Shawn fight off, leaving Jeff to clear Kennedy out.

Mickie James/Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Melina

London headlock takeovers Cade down to start before going to an armbar. Mickie and Melina come in for a double hair takedown so it’s quickly off to Kendrick to slug away on Murdoch. Cade drops Murdoch down into a legdrop on Kendrick but a kick to the head allows the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and Cade clotheslines Murdoch by mistake. London adds a running shooting star press for the pin.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to get very far but I can always go with tying two feuds together into one match. If nothing else, it was an excuse to have Melina vs. Mickie without actually having the two in a singles match, as Cade/Murdoch vs. London/Kendrick has kind of been done to death at this point. Way too short to be worth much though.

The Diva Search girls did an interrogation competition on the beach. Remember when wrestlers worked on this show?

Shawn Michaels comes in to see Jeff Hardy and talks about how much he needs to face Randy Orton at Cyber Sunday. Hardy suggests that the fans might want champion vs. champion though. Various threats seem to be made, even though they’re partners tonight.

Cody Rhodes is reading WWE Magazine when Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas come in to make fun of him for losing to Hardcore Holly. Rhodes says at least Holly looks good with blond hair, so Shelton is ready to face him tonight. Benjamin says after the match, he’ll dye Cody’s hair so he can be a thinner, less talented version of his old man. Haas: “Oh snap!”

Coach is with William Regal, who isn’t sure about making Coach vs. Hornswoggle. After some recapping, Regal does make the match, but Coach has a better idea: Hornswoggle vs. Umaga. Sure.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody gets taken down to start with Benjamin going right after the leg. The comeback is cut off with a shinbreaker but Cody grabs a bulldog out of the corner for two. Haas’ distraction completely fails as Cody reverses a rollup into one of his own for the fast pin.

Post match the double teaming is on until Hardcore Holly runs in for the save. Holly seems a bit impressed.

Here is the debuting DH Smith, the son of the British Bulldog, who is dedicating his first match to his father.

DH Smith vs. Carlito

Carlito goes after the arm to start but gets taken down into a jackknife cover for two. An overhead belly to belly gives Smith one but Carlito is back with a springboard dropkick for two of his own. The double arm crank goes on before a springboard elbow drops Smith again. That doesn’t make much of a difference as Smith is back with a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another match that didn’t get much time, but in this case that isn’t a terrible thing. Smith got to go in, beat up Carlito, and get out before anyone could see anything wrong with him. That’s a nice way to debut, as Carlito still has a bit of value to him. Granted the name DH Smith isn’t going to do him any favors, but he was good enough here.

Candice Michelle and Beth Phoenix have a weird staredown, with Phoenix promising to make her get on her knees and worship. Michelle promises to get the title back.

We recap Hornswoggle blowing up Coach last week, complete with comedic sound effects.

Hornswoggle vs. Umaga

Hold on as Hornswoggle runs off, with HHH taking his place. The big brawl is on with referees having to break it up but not doing the best job. Eventually the two are separated, only to have HHH break through again. No match obviously.

Post break, Umaga is surrounded by agents and referees and yells a lot.

Todd Grisham is on the stage and introduces us to the three Diva Search finalists. Lena is eliminated, leaving us with Eve and Brooke. They both get thirty seconds to hype themselves up for next week’s finals, which involves shouting about Omaha a lot.

Randy Orton comes in to see Mr. Kennedy, who can be his partner tonight but no one is going to vote for him because bad guys don’t win. Kennedy agrees they can be partners but he might have to make a statement after the match. See you out there…..partner.

Santino Marella vs. Ron Simmons

Maria is here with Santino, who doesn’t like not being mentioned in the 500th issue of WWE Magazine. MANTAUR is even mentioned….and we’re cut off by the SAVE US video. Santino thinks that might have been Steve Austin, who must be comfortable at home, watching himself in the Condemned. If Austin ever does show up, Santino will open a can of the a** whip. Simmons comes in and hammers away but Santino gets in a shot of his own for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Santino kicks him low for the DQ.

HHH doesn’t care what kind of a match he has with Umaga on Sunday because tonight, he saw doubt in Umaga’s eyes. On Sunday, he’ll see fear, because no matter how the voting goes, it’s time to play the game.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending in a 2/3 falls match. They lock up to start until Beth sends her out to the apron. A hurricanrana gets Candice out of trouble but Beth grabs her by the throat and drops her down for the first fall. We take a break and come back with Beth putting on something like a Liontamer.

Candice slips out and the slugout is on, setting up a discus lariat for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same so Candice goes up, only to get knocked down…where she lands on her face. You can hear the crowd go quiet as Beth drags her out of the corner (which is a REALLY STUPID IDEA) and pins her (with the referee audibly telling Candice not to kick out) to retain. Not enough shown to rate due to the injury and the break but I can’t imagine this was going to be anything but Beth retaining. The injury looked horrible though and that is probably going to put Candice on the shelf for a long time.

Beth leaves and Candice gets treatment but can’t stay sitting up. A stretcher takes her out, due to what would wind up being a broken collarbone.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Shawn and Kennedy start things off with Shawn shrugging off some chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Jeff to work on Kennedy’s arm, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back. The charge in the corner misses though and Orton comes in to pound away with some right hands. A clothesline gives Orton two but Hardy kicks Kennedy in the face and dives over for the tag. Some of the house is cleaned but Shawn gets taken into the wrong corner so Orton can take over again.

Kennedy comes back in and grabs the seated abdominal stretch for a little longer than you might have expected. Back to back backbreakers give Kennedy two and an elbow to the face gets the same. It’s back to Orton for the slow stomping and a knee to the back keeps Shawn down. Orton pulls him into a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Shawn fights up with an enziguri. The double tag brings in Hardy and Kennedy with the pace picking up. Everything breaks down and Shawn slingshots down onto Orton, leaving Hardy to Twist Kennedy’s fate. The Swanton gives Hardy the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a bit above average main event style tag match and that shouldn’t be a surprise. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that Shawn is getting the title shot on Sunday so the ending was little more than misdirection, but they had a good match on the way there. Kennedy just kind of exists to give Orton a partner, but they had worse options.

Post match Shawn superkicks Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Cyber Sunday is such a weird show to build towards as WWE doesn’t really have matches to set up. Instead, you have a bunch of options to pick from, which makes for some odd final shows. The fact that this one included an injury and more Hornswoggle shenanigans and it wasn’t exactly a great way to get me into the pay per view.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 11, 2022: Keep It Going

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2022
Location: Little Caesar’s Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

We’re back to normal this week as the Wrestlemania Weekend glow is gone. Now we get to see what the regular crowds are like and how they respond to what WWE is offering. At the same time, we get to see how things go when WWE doesn’t have to try as hard. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Cody Rhodes’ return at Wrestlemania and wanting to become the WWE Champion to honor his father.

Here is the Miz for MizTV. Miz wastes no time in introducing Cody Rhodes, though he does make sure to insult the fans a few times. Miz accuses Cody of taking too long to come out but Cody says it has been awhile since he was in front of a crowd like this one. Hang on as Cody gets to pose a bit more and the fans certainly like him. We hear about Cody being the grandson of a plumber but without the Rhodes name, he would just be a plumber. Cody says it would be nice to be a plumber right now because Miz is full of….and he stops himself.

Miz hasn’t changed a bit in years and that makes him reliable. Cody is here to win the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Championship belt, though Miz points out that it’s a title because a belt holds up your pants. We hear about how Seth Rollins wants a rematch where Cody can’t surprise him but the fans cut off Miz again.

Miz gets in Cody’s face and says he knows where Cody has been for six years but Cody says hold on. He respects Miz and all of his accomplishments but maybe Miz is threatened by him. Cody has enjoyed their chat but he’s looking forward to their match, which will be his first on Raw in six years. Miz goes for the sneak attack and gets sent outside. Cody kept the reaction for another week so they might be on to something here.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Veer Mahaan

Veer runs him over to start but Dominik is up with a superkick. A missed charge sends Veer outside, where he sends Dominik into the barricade. The baseball clothesline drops Dominik on the floor and another does it again inside. The cervical clutch (camel clutch/Gargano Escape hybrid) finishes Dominik at 1:58.

Post match Mahaan puts the hold on again, then lets it go, then puts it on again, leaving Dominik to take a stretcher out.

Post break, Dominik is put into the stretcher.

Veer Mahaan says he strikes fear into the hearts of men.

We look back at Edge and Damian Priest taking out AJ Styles last week.

Styles is scared of what he is going to do to Priest tonight. Priest walks up so AJ gets in a fight with him, with agents having to break it up.

AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

During his entrance, Priest says he is here to prove that he is worthy of working with Edge. Styles slugs away to start and hits a clothesline to put Priest on the floor. There’s the forearm off the apron to send Priest over the barricade. A whip into another barricade has Priest in more trouble and we take a break.

Back with AJ bleeding from the head but still managing to hammer away. The Downward Spiral plants Styles though but the Reckoning is countered into a Pele. Styles tries the Phenomenal Forearm, which is countered with a kick to the head. Hold on though as Priest drops to a knee and the lights go out. The purple spotlight comes on Priest….and we take another break. Back again with….the match being over, we’ll say at 13:05.

Rating: C. That’s WWE for you. They set up a match but then realize that they don’t want either of them to lose so they get creative and give us whatever this was. I’m sure there is some internal WWE logic behind what happened, but since WWE can’t bother to explain any of this stuff, we’re left sitting here wondering what the heck just happened. More importantly though, I’m left sitting around wondering why I should care if they’re just going to end a match like that.

AJ isn’t happy and says Edge is his no matter what.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

Hold on as here is Seth Rollins at the bell to conduct the crowd in his entrance theme. Miz gets in an early kick to the face but Cody snaps off the powerslam to send Miz outside. Back in and we hit the cravate to hold Miz in place before Cody sends him face first into the buckle. Miz gets in a shot to the face though and the chinlock goes on. Jimmy calls it a beautiful one and Cody is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Cody hitting a suplex for two, with Miz being sent outside for a suicide dive. They get back in and Cody misses something off the top to damage his knee. The Figure Four goes on and stays on for a good while, but Cody finally turns it over for the break. Back up and the Cody Cutter sets up the Cross Rhodes at 11:50.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of win that can boost Cody a bit: he beats an established name clean in the middle of the ring and starts looking like a force. That makes two matches for Cody and two wins over former World Champions. He has a long way to go, but they are starting off well and that’s more than I would have bet on in this case.

Post match Rollins (who didn’t do anything during the match) grabs the mic and says he heard Cody mention the word REMATCH. Rollins could go for that and Cody accepts the challenge, date to be announced.

We recap the debut of Ezekiel from last week, much to Kevin Owens’ annoyance.

We meet the newest member of the Raw roster: Tommaso Ciampa (thankfully not renamed to Steve Lewis), but Ezekiel comes up to introduce himself. Ciampa is glad to meet him but Owens comes in to say that’s Elias. Ezekiel and Ciampa say not quite and Owens thinks he is the only sane person left around here.

Liv Morgan vs. Naomi

Naomi rolls her down to start and hits a quick kick to the face for an early two. A double jumping kick to the face drops Liv again but she’s back with a rollup. That means a pinfall reversal sequence until Naomi gets a rollup pin at 2:18.

Here is Bobby Lashley in the VIP Lounge despite not being a guest. He barely beat Omos so now it is time for him to wreck this set. Cue MVP and Omos, with the former threatening lawsuits if Lashley breaks anything. Lashley wants Omos right now but MVP says Omos is learning to be a businessman so he’s waiting until the money is right. That’s fine with Lashley, who still wants an explanation from MVP.

Believe it or not, MVP actually gives him one, saying that when he returned to WWE, Lashley was floundering. Lashley had talent but he wasn’t going anywhere so MVP had to save him. Lashley accuses MVP of being on a farewell tour and a lot of yelling ensues. MVP says Omos is going to destroy Lashley, who promises to take Omos down again and then take MVP out. With that taken care of, Lashley throws a bunch of the set out of the ring.

We recap the double engagements in the 24/7 Title shenanigans.

R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and some others have a bachelor party with Reggie, but aren’t happy that Dana Brooke and the 24/7 Title are at a bachelorette party. It’s time to break it up.

Austin Theory asks the bosses for a US Title shot next week. Deal, and you can just call him Theory. Oh screw off. Kevin Owens comes in to take Theory’s place and demands proof that Ezekiel and Elias are different people. That information is confidential (Owens: “HIS LIBRARY CARD IS CONFIDENTIAL????”) so next week, Owens will make him take a lie detector test. With Owens gone, Sonya Deville says she has a deal in place for Bianca Belair’s first title defense.

Bianca Belair vs. Queen Zelina

Non-title. Belair blocks a rollup to start and runs her over but Zelina takes her down for a Last Chancery. That’s broken up with straight power and Belair hits a gorilla press drop. The KOD connects to finish Zelina at 2:08.

Post break, Sonya Deville is in the ring to announce Belair’s first challenger. It wasn’t an easy pick as she had a lot of options, but Belair is ready for anyone. Deville has an open contract and Belair signs without a second thought. The opponent is……Deville herself, who takes out Belair’s knee and hits a running knee to the face.

We go to the bachelorette party, where Tamina agrees to keep the truce with Dana Brooke tonight. After their honeymoons though, it’s open season for the 24/7 Title. Los Lotharios come in for the Kiss Cam but Nikki Ash has a surprise: a pair of strippers, but one of them is a referee. Tamina breaks up the cover and slides Nikki down the bar as R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and Reggie come in. R-Truth gives them a speech about how the love of the title is all that matters. He’s a certified marriage guy (and has a certificate to prove it) and bans all attacks on Dana until after next week’s double wedding. And now, dancing.

Adam Pearce isn’t happy with Sonya Deville but she asks what he can do about it.

Alpha Academy vs. RKBro

Non-title and before the match, Chad Gable brags about his intelligence, his degree, and everything about himself in general. Orton takes Gable down to start and hands it off to Riddle for some kicks to the chest. Otis comes in to run Riddle over though and we take a break. Back with Gable working on Riddle’s arm but Riddle fights up and brings Orton back in to clean house. A rollup gives Gable two but Orton grabs the RKO for the pin at 8:08.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good stuff while it lasted and that shouldn’t be much of a surprise. These teams have done well in their previous matches, though it is pretty clear that the Academy is on their way down. RKBro vs. the Usos is going to be a big deal and they don’t need the Academy there for that kind of a match.

We cut to the back where the Usos arrive. After a break, here are the Usos, with Orton saying the Big Dog let his b****** off the leash. The Usos laugh it off and get straight to the point: they want the title unification match. Riddle thinks that sounds like something out of Avengers with Thanos trying to get all of the crystals together. Cue the Street Profits to interrupt, because they should be at the front of the line. Jimmy: “There’s only one line and it’s the BLOODLINE!” The Profits and the Usos are ready to go and Orton makes the match.

We recap Veer Mahaan taking out Dominik Mysterio earlier in the night.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Non-title and RKBro is at ringside. Ford dropkicks Jimmy down to start and hands it off to Dawkins, who suplexes him onto Jimmy for one. Jey comes in and gets elbowed down for two, only to have Jimmy come back in off a blind tag. A double spinebuster drops Dawkins and a top rope forearms to the chest gets two.

Dawkins tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught with a jumping enziguri. The Usos head outside to glare at RKBro, only to have Ford flip dive onto them. Ford dances a bit as we take a break. Back with Dawkins fighting out of a chinlock, allowing the double tag off to Ford for the house cleaning.

A running Blockbuster gets two on Jey and Dawkins pulls Jimmy to the floor for a right back. Back in and the Doomsday Blockbuster gets two more on Jey. Jimmy cuts off Dawkins’ dive and superkicks him down, only to have the Superfly Splash hit knees. Ford adds the frog splash for two with Jey making the save. Dawkins is sent into the post and it’s the 1D to finish Ford at 15:11.

Rating: B-. This match got the time that it needed to be better and that is what made it work. Again, I don’t think the Profits are going to matter all that much in the picture so it was a good idea to get rid of them here. Go with the Usos vs. RKBro on the big(ish) stage and leave the other teams out of the picture for the time being.

Post match the champs stare each other down and hold up the titles. The Usos leave but RKBro has to take out the Profits. That’s enough for the Usos to superkick Orton down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t quite last week, but they did keep some momentum going after the post Wrestlemania Raw. That’s more than I would have bet on with this show as WWE has a tendency to drop down a good bit with Wrestlemania season over. You can see a lot of Backlash being set up and now they have another few weeks to really set things up. I’m cautiously optimistic for the next few weeks though and that is a nice feeling.

Results
Veer Mahaan b. Dominik Mysterio – Cervical Clutch
AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest went to a no contest
Cody Rhodes b. Miz – Cross Rhodes
Naomi b. Liv Morgan – Rollup
Bianca Belair b. Queen Zelina – KOD
RKBro b. Alpha Academy – RKO to Gable
Usos b. Street Profits – 1D to Ford

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 4, 2022: They Need A New Coat

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It is the night after Wrestlemania and I’m not even sure if that means anything these days. This show has a long history of being something special but since that isn’t WWE’s deal a lot of the time, we might be in for a show that is closer to normal. That isn’t exactly inspiring but let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania Night One and Night Two if you need a recap.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking down at the edge of the stage, with the ring to my left and the Titantron to my right.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, as you might have seen coming.

Here is Cody Rhodes, rising through the stage again and walking down a short ramp, to get things going. Cody takes his time getting to the ring and the fans seem happy to see him, though it doesn’t come across as well as it did in the arena. Cody: “So….what do you guys want to talk about?” Forty seven days ago, he became a free agent and has kept silent since then. Rhodes made the decision to return to WWE and it was never a hard choice. It’s a great story of the returning star and he is glad to be back.

He is an avid reader and he stumbled upon this quote: “Sometimes a man finds his destiny upon the path to avoid it.” Rhodes puts up a photo of his dad holding the WWWF Title in Madison Square Garden from September 26, 1977. That is the same title that Hulk Hogan (boo), Undertaker (yay), Shawn Michaels (yay) and HHH (also yay) among others have held over the years. Rhodes talks about how this photo was on the mantle in his parents’ bedroom until his father’s last day.

One day when he was a kid, he asked his dad about being a champion like Hulk Hogan. His dad got serious and explained the championship advantage, meaning that since he won by countout, he didn’t take the belt (yes belt) home with him. That made eight year old Cody decide he was going to win the title for his father.

That hasn’t happened yet and that Dream died right in front of him. Now though, he wants to claim his dream again and his intentions are clear. Rhodes is going to do it for his friends, his fans, and for the American Dream. Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt and they shake hands, with Rollins being very happy and mouthing what commentary says is “welcome home”.

This was a big moment for Cody, but the important point here is that it made sense. Cody didn’t go onto any weird tangent and got his point across (with some impressive sounding words). I can go with the idea, though a Rollins rematch might be on tap first. Good stuff here, and the fans were into Cody. I’m not sure if that lasts beyond Wrestlemania weekend, but it’s a good start.

Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Sasha Banks

Champions Contenders match. Naomi and Ripley start things off with Rhea hitting a rather delayed vertical suplex. That doesn’t get her very far though as Naomi sends her into the corner, setting up a pair of middle rope splashes for two. Banks sends Morgan outside and hits the running knees off the apron, only to have Ripley take Banks down with a flip dive. Naomi dives onto Ripley though and a slingshot legdrop gets two as we take a break.

Of note: during the break, D-Generation X’s music started playing by mistake, confusing all of the wrestlers (the D-Generation X cam was played during a later break, so it wasn’t completely random). Back with Naomi and Ripley making double tags, allowing Banks to hit a top rope Meteora on Morgan. Banks misses a clothesline as Morgan does a Matrix into a rollup for two before kicking Banks in the head. Ripley tosses Banks into Liv’s powerbomb for two but Naomi is back in for the elevated Codebreaker to finish Morgan at 8:57.

Rating: C+. They started picking up the pace near the end and had me believing that the champs were going to lose in their first match after winning the belts. That being said, they don’t exactly have much in the way of challengers going forward and that is a continuing problem for the titles. I can’t imagine it getting much better, but at least Naomi finally had something to do.

Post match Ripley walks out on Liv, with Kevin Owens coming to the ring as she leaves.

Post break, Owens doesn’t seem happy. Maybe he made a mistake on Saturday by challenging Steve Austin to an actual match. He goes over THE PLAN to trick Austin into a match but might have underestimated Austin. Owens admits that Austin is still great, because it takes someone great to beat him. However, it should be noted that he came in with a really serious back injury. Owens: “WATCH THE FOOTAGE! YOU CAN TELL!” He was limping because he was lifting a lot of weird but the WWE Universe needed him out there. Austin’s win should be stricken from the record….and here is someone named Ezekiel.

It isn’t Ezekiel Jackson, but rather someone who looks a lot like Elias, minus his beard. Owens asks Elias what he thinks he’s doing. Ezekiel: “I am not Elias.” Fans: “YES YOU ARE!” Ezekiel says he is Elias’ younger brother and Owens looks like he’s about to lose it. Owens thinks he has beer in his ears because he can’t believe he’s hearing this. Owens hates liars, so Ezekiel thinks Owens hates himself. Ezekiel reminds him of getting stunned, sending Owens into a rant against Enrique or whatever his name is. He has ten seconds to get out of Owens’ ring, but Owens counts down and then leaves instead.

We look back at Miz turning on Logan Paul after the two defeated the Mysterios at Wrestlemania.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz

Rey Mysterio is here with Dominik, who gets hit with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 26 seconds. Ok then.

Post match here is Veer Mahaan to lay out the Mysterios, including a cross between the Gargano Escape and a camel clutch to Dominik as Rey crawled over to try and save him.

Here is Bianca Belair for her first chat after winning the Raw Women’s Title. Belair thanks everyone for standing behind her because she never thought she would win the title. She takes off her sunglasses to reveal a black eye before talking about how losing to Becky Lynch at Summerslam made her realize how great she can be. Now she knows just how fast you can lose it all.

After a quick pause, Belair talks about how she never cheated but worked to get this title. Lynch went for her throat, her hair and even her eye. After all that though, she is still standing here because these people deserve better. That’s why she became better and will become the best she can be. She’ll fight everyone back there because no one is ready to take this title from her. Lynch needs to take some time and find out who she is, because Belair is the EST of WWE and is ready for anyone. This was the victory lap speech and Belair deserved it.

Video on Bron Breakker.

NXT Title: Bron Breakker vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Robert Roode in his corner, is defending. Breakker drives him into the corner to start and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Ziggler manages to Breakker outside though and rakes away at the eyes back inside. That doesn’t work for Breakker, who plants him with a powerslam, only to get crotched on top. We take a break and come back with Breakker fighting out of a chinlock but Ziggler nails a chinlock for two. Breakker’s sitout powerbomb gets two more and the comeback is on, including the overhead belly to belly.

Roode’s distraction breaks up the spear so Breakker takes him out with the big flip dive. Ziggler hits a running knee (might have been a mistimed Fameasser), followed by the Fameasser for two. Breakker blocks a ram into an exposed buckle pad but walks into the superkick (how Ziggler retained at Stand & Deliver) for two. Another superkick is loaded p but Breakker spears him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam for the pin and the title at 10:05.

Rating: C+. This is what you were probably expecting at Stand & Deliver so they did get the ending right. Breakker gets two in the title back in front of a big crowd and a much larger audience while showing that he learned something after his previous loss. I’m not sure if he should have lost on Saturday, but at least they got things right in the end.

Here is MVP for a chat. MVP praises Bobby Lashley for beating Omos on his own and brings out Lashley for his celebration. Lashley brags about beating the biggest and strongest opponent he has ever faced. He knew he had to wait for Omos to make a mistake and that is exactly what happened. Cue Omos to shout that he wants a rematch….and MVP turns on Lashley to help Omos beat him down. There’s a twist and it makes sense, as Lashley is a face anyway and doesn’t need someone to talk for him.

Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan make up in the back, as Ripley has gotten them a Tag Team Title shot next week. Thank you for rendering a stipulation completely worthless in about an hour and a half.

Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler

Byron Saxton has a blast reminding Corey Graves that Carmella and Zelina lost their Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania. Actually hold on, as Zelina says Carmella is obsessed with a man who is a fool for wanting to marry her. Zelina: “However, he is a VERY handsome man!” That’s too far for Carmella, who mocks her for only winning the Queen’s Crown tournament. Zelina was going to be in the wedding as the maid of honor, but now she can be a flower girl. The fight is on, with Carmella running over to Graves as Zelina leaves. Carmella kisses him in relief. No match, as Natalya and Baszler never appeared.

We recap Pat McAfee beating Austin Theory at Wrestlemania, only to love to Vince McMahon. Then Steve Austin came out to do Steve Austin things.

Austin Theory isn’t happy with the loss and tells the Usos he’s ready to take his anger out on RKBro and Finn Balor.

RKBro/Finn Balor vs. Austin Theory/Usos

Balor shoulders Jimmy down to start and stomps away. Riddle comes in to kick at the arm and grab a front facelock. That’s broken up so Theory comes in, only to be backdropped to the floor. Riddle kicks him in the face but the springboard Floating Bro is blocked as we take a break.

Back with Riddle fighting his way out of a chinlock but getting caught with a pop up neckbreaker for two. Riddle manages a jumping knee to the face and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house. The hanging DDT is loaded up on Jey but Theory makes a blind tag and hits a rolling dropkick. Balor tags himself in as well but misses the Coup de Grace. We hit the parade of finishers, with Riddle being superkicked out of the air. Balor hits Jimmy with the Sling Blade, only to walk into the ATL for the pin at 8:14.

Rating: B-. Pretty easily the best match on the show so far as the star power involved helped a lot. That being said, I believe this is the third time that Theory has pinned Balor in as many weeks and I can’t say I’m surprised in the slightest. The US Title has long since stopped meaning anything and this is another good reason as to why. Just let Theory win the title already because WWE actually seems interested in doing something with him.

Here is Edge for a big chat. Edge says he is an honest man. He knew he would beat AJ Styles but he didn’t know Damian Priest would come out to help him. Edge knew that these people would be sheep just like he said they would. Fans: “WE ARE SHEEP!” Edge: “Very telling idiots.” The fans need to rise for the man who respects Edge’s message and the punishment for the guilty: Damian Priest.

After a handshake, Edge asks what got through to Priest over the last few weeks. The fans say they don’t care, but Priest says that doesn’t bother him anymore. Priest says he spent a long time trying to please everyone else, but that made it so easy to pledge his loyalty to Edge. They came to their new reality at the same time, which leads Edge to AJ Styles. He wanted the pitbull AJ Styles and that’s what he got. The thing with pitbulls is that they pick fight over flight, but AJ needs to think of his family.

Cue Styles for the brawl, including taking out Priest and sending Edge into the post. Styles grabs some chairs but Priest gets up, allowing Edge to take Styles down. The Conchairto is loaded up but referees and agents make the save. I can go with the feud continuing, especially if Priest and Edge bring in some friends to uneven the odds even further.

Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy

The Academy jump them from behind to start and the fight is on. Cue Adam Pearce to say let’s make this a Texas Tornado match, which works for the Profits (and lets Corey Graves say “You want to get nuts? Let’s get nuts.” from Batman for some reason). Ford hits the big flip dive onto the Academy on the floor but it’s Otis coming back in to power away.

Dawkins fires off rights and lefts in the corner, leaving Gable to fisherman’s suplex Ford for two. They pair off and we take a break with the fights continuing. Back with Otis loading up the table but he and Dawkins fall to the floor. Ford goes up top but gets crotched by Gable. A superplex is loaded up but Ford shoves him off and hits the frog splash through the table for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C. The Texas Tornado stuff felt tagged on but maybe they realized that the crowd needed to be woken up a bit. This was late in the show and the fans weren’t exactly feeling it at this point but at least they got something energized here. If nothing else, watching Ford do his big jumps and dives is fun and that’s what the show needed.

Here is the Bloodline for the big show closing as they take their time getting to the ring. Roman Reigns says he knows why the people are here but wants Paul Heyman to explain the Bloodline’s success. Heyman lists off the team’s accomplishments, with a focus on Reigns’ box office successes of course. Reigns calls himself the last needle mover because he is always operating at the highest level. He isn’t hanging his hat on this weekend because he is constantly moving forward. This Friday on Smackdown, you’ll find out the next step. Until then, acknowledge him. End of show.

That’s an interesting way to go, as they didn’t really say anything. Maybe they have something planned for Smackdown, but this was ten minutes to say “Reigns won, he’s great, see you Friday.” I’m not sure if that means anything, but it’s quite the wait for nothing substantial.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to think on this one. On one hand, it was an improvement over previous years as SOMETHING happened on the Raw after Wrestlemania. On the other hand, it wasn’t exactly interesting stuff. Elias’ younger brother? Veer Mahaan? Breakker wins a title that isn’t on this show? MVP is now with Omos?

It’s ok, but it isn’t something that is going to have my attention for very long. Maybe something gets better next week, but this wasn’t exactly making me want to see where things are going. Cody felt strong and that’s about it. Not a terrible show, but they need something hot and this wasn’t it in the slightest.

After the show was over, Cody Rhodes beat Kevin Owens with the Cross Rhodes in a dark match. Rhodes thanked the fans and talked about how surreal it was to be back to end the night.

Results
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley – Elevated Codebreaker to Morgan
Miz b. Dominik Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale
Bron Breakker b. Dolph Ziggler – Gorilla press powerslam
Usos/Austin Theory b. RKBro/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor
Street Profits b. Alpha Academy – Frog splash to Gable through a table

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 28, 2022: They Missed The Point

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2022
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s the last Raw before Wrestlemania and since this company doesn’t have the best ideas, that means this is Wrestlemania Raw. Hopefully that means we get some juice added to what has already been set for the card, because this isn’t looking like the strongest Wrestlemania so far. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going (with Michael Cole being heard saying “yes sir” during his entrance). After a look at Lesnar taking over Roman Reigns’ dressing room on Smackdown and beating up a bunch of security, Lesnar gets to do his own introduction. Lesnar: “That might have been good but it sounded like it sucked.” We are on the way to Wrestlemania so Lesnar is going to give us his game plan for his match with Roman Reigns.

They are going to go down memory lane in Suplex City and then go to the carnival. Reigns is taking a ride on the F5 and no one survives that. After that (and mocking the WHAT chants by saying Steve Austin will be there too, even if he couldn’t beat Lesnar), they’re going to a wedding. Their titles are getting married and having a baby, but Lesnar gets sole custody. See you on Sunday. For someone who doesn’t do this very often, that was at least an original promo and Lesnar sounds like he is having a blast.

Here is Miz for his match with Rey Mysterio, but first he wants to introduce us to the greatest luchador of all time: LUCHA LOGAN! This would be Logan Paul in a stolen Rey mask, with Miz explaining how horrible it was to take Rey’s mask. Cue the Mysterios, but Dominik gets ejected before the bell for jumping Miz.

Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Logan Paul is here too and an early distraction lets Miz take it to the floor. A DDT on the floor drops Rey and we take a break. Back with Miz ripping at Rey’s mask but getting sent off the top so Rey can hit a top rope seated senton. Rey seems to tweak his knee so Miz grabs a slingshot powerbomb, which is countered into a sunset flip to give Rey the pin at 5:25. Ignore Miz’s shoulder being up.

Post match Dominik is back to steal the mask back from Paul. He also helps beat up Miz, with a double 619 and some frog splashes with his dad. Paul looks on without doing anything to help.

Veer Mahaan is here next week.

We look at Seth Rollins attempting to find a path to Wrestlemania and going a bit nuts at his failures.

Earlier today, Rollins was summoned to Vince McMahon’s office, because he was going to get a Wrestlemania match. Rollins was told to be there at 7am but didn’t get in until after 9 for no apparent reason. He was rather excited anyway and put his feet on the table, which didn’t sit well with McMahon.

After being told he wouldn’t be fired, Vince tells him that he didn’t have to jump through all of those hoops. All he was going to have to do was ask but he would have to have his own main event. McMahon says Rollins is going to Wrestlemania against an opponent of his choosing, who he will not know until he is in the ring. Rollins runs around the office.

To recap, after a month of this idiotic story involving Rollins desperately trying to get to Wrestlemania, all he had to do was ask the boss and everything was going to be fine. That is about as lame of a conclusion I could think of and that means I’m not even surprised that they went that way.

Omos vs. Viking Raiders

Erik gets hit with a clothesline to start and rolls outside…..where it’s a countout at 45 seconds. That clothesline was the only move of the match.

Post match, Omos kicks Ivar in the face. Omos is asked about wanting a Wrestlemania opponent….and Bobby Lashley is back. A shove sends Lashley into the corner and he bounces off of Omos. Lashley shoves him away and knocks him down with a flying shoulder. Omos bails to the floor so they can both point at the sign, setting up a Wrestlemania match.

Reggie proposes to Dana Brooke and she says yes. Tamina comes in to try and win the 24/7 Title but Reggie makes the save. Reggie and Dana leave so Akira Tozawa pops up to propose to Tamina as well. She threatens to hit him but then says yes, though he has to wedge the ring on her finger. R-Truth, watching from about five feet away (with binoculars of course), has an idea.

Here is the Bloodline for a chat. After having Pittsburgh acknowledge him, Roman Reigns talks about how he has met Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania before. Lesnar beat him up and left him so bloodied that his family didn’t want him in this business again. Well now we have changed the game. Reigns has taken the advocate and made him a wise man, he has taken the moniker of the longest reigning champion in 35 years and now he is taking the title. Now he is making it personal, because it has always been personal to Reigns. This was the intense Reigns and he was awesome in the role, as usual.

We recap Carmella/Queen Zelina having issues.

Carmella and Zelina seem to be fine during their photo shoot. They remember taking out Shayna Baszler and Natalya, so here are the two of them, with Shayna saying just stay in line tonight with the eight woman tag. Then they’ll take the titles at Wrestlemania.

The Steiner Brothers are going into the Hall of Fame.

Sasha Banks/Naomi/Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina/Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Natalya takes Liv down and tries an early Sharpshooter but gets caught with a headscissors into the corner. Ripley comes in with a basement dropkick to Natalya and it’s off to Zelina instead. Naomi and Banks hit running corner dropkicks and it’s time for the parade of shots to the face. We take a break and come back with Banks knocking Carmella down and making the VERY slow crawl over to Naomi, with Baszler managing to run in for the save. A stretch muffler keeps Banks in trouble but the villains get in an argument. Graves checks on Carmella and it’s the Backstabber into Riptide to pin Vega at 9:19.

Rating: D+. The women’s division is becoming more of a mess every week, as there are almost no stories to be seen aside from the title matches and women being either best friends or hating each other. It feels like the whole thing is designed to be as low level as possible and that makes matches like this, where no one gets to shine, all the worse. I’m not looking forward to the title match, and Carmella/Vega retaining will make it even worse.

We look back at Kevin Owens’ Steve Austin impression from last week.

Video on Steve Austin, set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock. In 2022.

Here is Kevin Owens to talk about how the Kevin Owens Show with Steve Austin will be the main event of Wrestlemania. Owens talks about how Austin is here to have one more talk about the old days instead of a fight, because it has been NINETEEN YEARS since he had a match. They’ll have a beer together at Wrestlemania, even though Owens hates it. Then Owens can finally receive the torch of having the best Stunner in the world because it is better than Austin’s. Owens hits Austin’s catchphrase to wrap it up. He was feeling it here, as has been the case since the segment was announced.

Austin Theory vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet kicks him down to start and hits a standing shooting star press for an early two. The ATL is countered and Ricochet dropkicks him down as the fans want Pat. Ricochet goes up top and gets crotched, setting up the ATL for the completely clean loss at 1:44. I guess there was just no one else in the world that Theory could beat.

Commentary talk about HHH suffering a cardiac moment, which has led to the end of his in-ring career.

Here is Bianca Belair, returning from a throat injury (And doing her dance, because SHE MUST DANCE!) and ranting about how Becky Lynch has knocked her down over and over again but there is nothing that can keep her down. Belair is going to keep fighting no matter what and come back every time.

So Belair will be waiting for her on Sunday, but here is Becky to interrupt. Becky gets in a chair shot and pulls out some scissors to cut Belair’s hair. That takes way too long of course, so Belair reverses into the KOD. Another KOD leaves Becky laying again….so Belair hacks off Becky’s hair. Belair leaves so Becky wakes up and snaps as the fans tell her she deserves it.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Becky Lynch is asked her thoughts about Bianca Belair. Becky: “Bianca, you b****!”

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

Corbin and McIntyre shove each other to start but it’s off to Moss, who gets hammered down in the corner. An overhead belly to belly and a neckbreaker drop Moss, allowing McIntyre to nip up. Corbin walks off and the Claymore finishes Moss at 1:45.

Post match Corbin jumps McIntyre and steals Angela the sword.

Edge is sitting at a desk with a scale next to him. Edge talks about how he wasn’t sure what to do to AJ Styles so he pulled off the veil of mediocrity. Sunday is AJ’s judgment day, so Edge puts a ring on the scale and smiles.

Post break, AJ Styles says if Edge wants the pitbull, that’s what he’s going to get at Wrestlemania. AJ is going to give Edge a beating that he will never forget on Sunday.

Usos vs. RKBro

Non-title with Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura at ringside. The threat of a double RKO sends the Usos bailing to the floor to start so it’s a double belly to back drop onto the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Riddle suplexing and backsplashing Jimmy for two. A Samoan drop cuts Riddle off though and the stomping has him down in the corner.

Orton gets drawn in as Riddle gets caught with a cheap shot as the beating continues. Riddle is taken outside for a whip into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break. Back again with Riddle fighting up again and managing the tag to Orton. House is cleaned and the snap powerslam plants Jey. The hanging DDT connects as Riddle takes out Jimmy on the floor. The RKO is loaded up but the Street Profits run in to jump RKBro for the DQ at 15:25.

Rating: C+. I was pleasantly surprised by the ending there as I would have bet on one of the teams taking a loss. The DQ is the right call to protect both champions so this could have been worse. It’s still weird to see a match like this as the main event on the go home show for Wrestlemania, but you have two good teams and the most popular act on Raw, so it went fairly well.

Post match the brawl is on with Boogs and Nakamura brawling to the back with the Usos. RKBro gets it together to take out the Profits with an RKO each.

One more Wrestlemania rundown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This year’s Wrestlemania is missing emotion. Reigns vs. Lesnar and Austin vs. Owens have been well set up, mainly because it feels like there is emotion. Other than that and maybe one or two other matches, the show feels like it has all been thrown together in something resembling a major event. Almost nothing feels like it has been given time to develop, with celebrities being added in to make up the difference.

Instead of matches I feel like I need to see, it feels like people are doing things to each other and then they’ll do something big at Wrestlemania. That was on full display here, as two matches were added to the card tonight, plus other matches where some people didn’t even appear. As usual, the action was good but everything else just came and went with no particular reason to get interested. That shouldn’t be the case with any show, let alone the one designed to get me to want to watch Wrestlemania.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Miz – Sunset flip
Omos b. Viking Raiders via countout
Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley/Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Shayna Baszler/Natalya/Carmella/Queen Zelina – Riptide to Vega
Austin Theory b. Ricochet – ATL
Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss – Claymore to Moss
RKBro b. Usos via DQ when the Street Profits interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – October 15, 2007: Three Times Two

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 15, 2007
Location: NEC, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things picked back up last week as Shawn Michaels made his return to the show and took out Raw World Champion Randy Orton. That seems likely to be taking us to Cyber Sunday, which is going to need a card set up in a hurry as the show is less than two weeks away. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton winning the WWE Title at No Mercy and being congratulated the next night, only to have Shawn Michaels return and go after him, including a heck of a superkick.

Orton comes up to William Regal in the back and thinks Regal should be the one picking his opponent at Cyber Sunday. For tonight, Orton wants a warmup match, plus a triple threat between his three possible Cyber Sunday opponents: Mr. Kennedy, Jeff Hardy and Shawn Michaels.

Opening sequence.

Here is William Regal to announce that Randy Orton will be facing all of his Cyber Sunday opponents tonight in a series of singles matches, starting with this one.

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and this isn’t what Orton seemed to want. Hardy armdrags him down to start and Orton doesn’t look happy with any of this. Some more armdrags set up an armbar and there’s a running clothesline to put Orton on the floor. Hardy dropkicks him through the ropes and we take an early break. Back with Orton working on a chinlock, setting up the powerslam for two. The knee drop gets the same and we’re back to the chinlock. Hardy fights back up and hits his mule kick but here is Mr. Kennedy to break up the Swanton. The RKO finishes Hardy.

Rating: C. This was a pretty dull match until the finish, as Hardy can make a comeback like few others. Kennedy distracting Hardy makes sense, as he not only has recent issues with Hardy but also doesn’t want Hardy to beat Orton and get momentum in the voting. Logical move here and it gives Hardy some protection in his loss.

Santino Marella vs. Val Venis

Maria is here with Santino and commentary tries to figure out what she sees in him. Before the match, Santino mocks England for not being as good as Italy and starts going after the Condemned, which brings out Venis to get things going. Venis hammers away to start but Santino ties his legs in the rope to take over. We hit the leg crank on the mat as Maria looks….I think pleased? A half crab stays on the leg so Val makes it over to the ropes. Venis fights up with the usual assortment of strikes to the face before trying a sunset flip out of the corner. That’s fine with Santino, who sits down on it and grabs the ropes for the pin.

The Diva Search girls did a search and rescue competition on the beach. This is in no way, shape or form an excuse to have them run in slow motion. Next time: they’re going to arrest people.

Carlito and Coach talk about small apples, which leads them to a discussion of Hornswoggle. Coach seems to have a plan to murder him but Hornswoggle comes in, meaning the chase is on.

Post break, Coach chases Hornswoggle through catering and gets a lot of food thrown at him. Hornswoggle escapes again and Coach is frustrated.

We look back at Vince McMahon tormenting HHH last week in the form of a handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton.

William Regal comes in to see Vince, who asks how old the Queen really is. Regal, looking at the photos on his wall, including Queen Elizabeth and Elton John: “Which one?” Vince has something in mind tonight, but first he has to correct Regal: it’s UMAGA, not YOUMANGA.

Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Non-title. Kennedy grabs a headlock to start and gets two off a quick rollup. The headlock goes back on and it works so well that the third version frustrates Orton even more. Orton finally hits him in the face but Kennedy does it right back and swats the dropkick away. Some more right hands get Orton out of trouble and the backbreaker gets two. Kennedy is right back with the Regal Roll but here’s Jeff Hardy to jump Kennedy for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time here and a lot of it was spent on headlocks and punches. The ending wasn’t quite the biggest surprise, but then again they aren’t exactly going for subtlety with what Orton is going to be doing at Cyber Sunday. Hardy coming in makes sense to even things up as he and Kennedy can be on the pay per view in some match of their own.

Post match Hardy beats on Kennedy even more.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. He puts over the idea of Cyber Sunday again and brings out HHH’s opponent for the show: Umaga. Vince says that we could be having a street fight at Cyber Sunday, so let’s do that with this young man already in the ring.

Umaga vs. Andy Simmons

Street fight. Umaga knocks him outside to start and throws him over the announcers’ table as the destruction is on. Back in and a Samoan drop onto a chair finishes Simmons fast.

Hold on though as Vince wants a demonstration of the second option.

Umaga vs. Andy Simmons

First blood. Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt (Vince: “That’s gonna leave a mark.”) and there’s the running hip attack in the corner. The Samoan Spike ends whatever is left of Simmons and Umaga hammers on him until the blood flows for the win.

Oh wait though as there is one more option.

Umaga vs. Andy Simmons

Inside a cage with escape only. It takes a second for the cage to be set up, so Vince narrates some highlights of the previous two matches. Simmons is sent head first into the cage to start and then the ribs go into the steel as well, allowing Umaga to walk out for the easy win.

Coach and Hornswoggle have a bicycle race and Ron Simmons does his catchphrase.

Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle

Before the match, Jillian mocks Lilian Garcia’s singing abilities and accuses her of lip syncing last week. Also, a real singer doesn’t need a band, so tonight she is singing acapella British! Candice cuts her off so Jillian gets in a cheap shot to start fast. The Candy Wrapper finishes Jillian in less than a minute.

Beth Phoenix is ready for Candice Michelle getting her rematch next week. She’ll make Candice worship her.

Hardcore Holly comes up to Cody Rhodes and doesn’t get why Cody is challenging him again. Cody thinks he has a chance but Holly says this is his last shot and slaps him. That’s the look Holly wants.

Smackdown Rebound.

Brian Kendrick vs. Rory McCallister

Their respective partners are here and Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch are on commentary. Kendrick hammers away to start but gets knocked into the ropes for his efforts. Rory knocks him outside and a rather delayed cover gets two back inside. The chinlock goes on and brings Kendrick back to life, only to have Robbie offer a distraction. A reverse suplex gives Rory the pin.

Rating: C-. What were you expecting here? As nothing as the match was, I can appreciate the idea of adding a fresh team to the division. There is only so much you can get out of two teams fighting each other over and over so this is a nice addition. The match wasn’t exactly good, but the Highlanders can add a bit of spice to the division.

Here’s the same video that opened the show.

Shawn Michaels promises that he’ll be waiting around every corner for Randy Orton and is ready to go to Cyber Sunday and take the WWE Title.

Coach chases Hornswoggle into the Divas locker room and leaves with some underwear. The women throw things at Coach until he leaves.

SAVE US, with commentary acknowledging it for the first time.

Hornswoggle runs into the arena and Coach follows him, with Hornswoggle going underneath the ring. Coach pulls out a Wile E. Coyote style red box explosion trigger, but nothing goes off. Then Coach goes underneath the ring to check the cord and….yeah you know what’s coming. Hornswoggle blows Coach to smithereens as I try to figure out how I got here.

Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly

Cody forearms away to start but has to skin the cat. Back in and Holly fires off the chops but Cody gets in a crossbody for two. Holly isn’t having that and ties him in the ropes for some shots to the chest, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up so Holly hangs him in the ropes for the kick to the ribs that looks rather low. Cody manages a crucifix for two, followed by a rollup for the same. Back up and Holly hits that dropkick of his, followed by a high crossbody and the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. They’re building a little something here, even if it is pretty low level stuff. What matters is that they are giving Rhodes some kind of a story and that is more than a lot of people get around here. Granted it is with Hardcore Holly, but that is at least something, so he has somewhere to go from here.

Cody keeps pulling himself up and Holly looks kind of impressed.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Shawn wastes no time in knocking Orton outside to start and a clothesline gets two back inside. A rollup gets the same but Orton elbows him in the face to take over. The top rope superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Mr. Kennedy comes in for the DQ.

Post match Jeff Hardy comes in for the save but gets shoved off the top, leaving Shawn to fight off both villains. The superkick drops Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of those shows with a running theme going throughout the show but it was only so interesting as we are on the way to a pretty foregone conclusion. That isn’t a terrible thing, though it doesn’t make for the most thrilling week as we wait for Michaels to get the title shot. Other than that, there was an explosion and Umaga squashing a guy three times in a row. The UK shows tend to be bad but this felt like they were especially out of ideas on the way to the pay per view.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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