Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 2007
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Road To Wrestlemania continues as we still need to know what Undertaker is going to do with his Royal Rumble win. There are a few different choices and all three of them have been teased, which makes things a bit more interesting. Granted the chances of Undertaker picking the ECW World Title are the same as me being named Miss Nevada 1978, so there are only two choices. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and teasing the Wrestlemania title match pick.

Here is Undertaker to make his decision. Since that takes quite a long time, here is an impatient John Cena before anything can be said. Bobby Lashley is here as well, with Batista rounding out the quartet. Undertaker stares at all three of them….and then gives Batista the throat slit so set up the match.

This immediately brings out Shawn Michaels to say John Cena needs a Wrestlemania opponent and he is here to help a brother out. Cue Randy Orton to say that he is facing Cena at Wrestlemania. Cue Edge as this is a rather large opening segment. Edge wants the title shot but now it’s Vince McMahon to ask why we’re in the middle of a cornfield in this horrible state.

Vince finds it interesting that no one is challenging Bobby Lashley, so he’ll be defending the ECW World Title against someone from the Raw roster tonight. As for everyone else, let’s have a triple threat between Orton, Michaels and Edge with the winner challenging Cena at Wrestlemania. Undertaker and Batista are left alone for the staredown and Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam (or powerslam as JR put it). This had a lot of people involved but it certainly set up a lot at once, so I think I can forgive it.

Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters vs. Carlito/Cryme Tyme

Torrie Wilson is here with the latter. JR: “King can I give a shout out to my barbecue loving buddies in Oklahoma.” Lawler: “I guess?” JR: “Well I just did.” It’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to JTG Thesz pressing Benjamin to hammer away. Haas, now with cornrows, comes in for an overhead belly to belly to send JTG flying though and it’s Masters coming in to hammer away. JTG slips out of another suplex attempt though and Carlito comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Carlito O’Connor rolls Masters, only to get caught with a springboard Blockbuster from Benjamin to steal the pin.

Rating: D+. Normally I’m a fan of merging a few feuds together but I never need to see Masters vs. Carlito in any form again. It has been done on and off for the better part of a year now and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. Cryme Tyme vs. Haas/Benjamin isn’t exactly great either but at least it is something new.

We recap Fan Appreciation Night last week, with Donald Trump giving the fans money.

Vince McMahon is annoyed at Trump when Kenny Dykstra comes in to ask about the ECW World Title shot tonight. McMahon gives him the match to get rid of him but Coach has a letter from Trump. He’s going to be here next week to up the ante with a business proposal. Vince wants Trump to join his special club.

Ric Flair hits on Maria a bit and says that he is excited by Undertaker vs. Batista. As for tonight, he gets to face Jeff Hardy and if he wins, he gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania.

Melina and Candice Michelle have one of those authentic talks about Candice’s Super Bowl commercial. Candice leaves so here is John Morrison to say Melina looks great and he is ready for Super Crazy. Tonight, Melina is winning the Women’s Title.

Balls Mahoney is in the ring for a match and here is Coach to introduce the special opponent.

Umaga vs. Balls Mahoney

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga. Mahoney strikes away to start and is knocked into the corner without much effort. Some choking on the rope ensues and the Samoan drop crushes Mahoney. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike for the easy win.

Johnny Nitro vs. Super Crazy

Melina and Mickie James are here as well. Nitro starts fast and sends him into the corner, with Crazy sunset flipping him for two. That earns him a shot to the face though and Nitro grabs a cravate. Crazy fights up but Melina’s distraction lets Nitro roll him up for two. Mickie trips Nitro right back so Crazy can hit some dropkicks. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sets up the moonsault but Nitro catches him on top. That’s broken up as well though and the moonsault gives Crazy the pretty big upset pin.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is challenging and thankfully they didn’t bother redoing the entrances (including for Nitro and Crazy, who are here as well). The catfight is on to start until Mickie James remembers that she’s Mickie James and forearms away. A hammerlock has Mickie in trouble so the fans chant for her, which Lawler calls being “silently” behind her. Melina takes her down by the leg but gets kicked away, giving us a standoff.

Mickie cartwheels into a monkey flip to send Melina bailing over to Nitro. Melina gets in a shot to the face and sends her face first into the mat for two. Back up and they slug it out until Melina sends her into the corner. An elbow to the face staggers Melina so Nitro goes after her, only to get hurricanranaed by Crazy. Melina pulls her outside by the top (Lawler approves) but Mickie is right back with a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: D+. This was one that sounded better on paper than it worked in reality as Melina wasn’t quite ready for the big showdown. Then again, you’re only going to be able to do so much in less than five minutes with two more people on the floor. Mickie was doing her thing well enough, but they didn’t exactly make this work.

Post match Melina is rather annoyed at the paparazzi trying to take her picture.

John Cena wishes Shawn Michaels good luck tonight but he would rather Edge win. Cena knows he can beat Edge and reminds Shawn that they’re Tag Team Champions. That sounded like a bit of a wink about how little they care about the titles.

Jeff Hardy vs. Ric Flair

Non-title but if Flair wins, he gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania. Hardy shoulders him down to start so Flair pops back up for a WOO. The chops have Hardy in the corner but he switches places to take Flair down. Hardy goes up but tweaks the knee on the landing, allowing Flair to chop block him down. Some leg cranking has Hardy in more trouble and the fans are behind Flair.

Hardy fights up and scores with an enziguri (breaking up a WOO in the process), setting up the sitout jawbreaker. The Whisper in the Wind connects and there’s the Twist of Fate. The Swanton misses though and Flair is right back on the knee. Flair loads up the Figure Four but stops to strut, allowing Hardy to small package him for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m going to assume that the ending was designed to make Flair look stupid and it certainly worked in that regard. There was no reason for Flair to start strutting around when he had Hardy in that much trouble. The match was good enough up to that point, but I would assume that it was setting things up for later, as otherwise that is pretty out of character for this version of Flair.

Post match Hardy praises Flair, who shakes his hand.

Wrestlemania is 55 days away.

We recap Undertaker’s selection from earlier tonight.

Batista isn’t intimidated and is ready for some payback. He’s fine with teaming with Undertaker at No Way Out too. That’s quite the calm champion.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Kenny Dykstra

Lashley is defending and scares Dykstra over to the apron to start. Back in and a single right hand sends Dykstra over the top and out to the floor for a great visual. Lashley knocks him off the apron for a bonus but Dykstra gets smart by dropkicking the knee out. Some stomping gives Dykstra two and we hit the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Lashley hits some clotheslines, setting up a t-bone suplex. A dropkick puts Lashley on the floor though and we take a break. We come back with Dykstra holding a front facelock but Lashley powers up without much trouble. The delayed suplex sets up the gorilla press powerslam to retain.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? Dykstra is a generic heel and Lashley doesn’t know how to do much other than his power stuff. Lashley has all of the tools to be a major star but you need to give him a good bit more seasoning. That is showing in places like this, as he wasn’t able to get anything out of Dykstra, who wasn’t ready to do something like this on his own.

Edge comes up to Randy Orton, who doesn’t want to talk. They aren’t partners tonight because Orton wants the Wrestlemania title shot. That’s fine with Edge, but he wants to make sure Shawn Michaels doesn’t get the shot.

Carlito and Torrie Wilson are going out and say goodbye to Ric Flair. They’re going out, but Flair doesn’t want to hear it after Carlito lost his match earlier tonight. Flair goes into a huge rant about how Carlito isn’t in the main event because he’s a lazy SOB. Guys like Carlito have no passion or guts but want to fly first class with someone like Torrie Wilson. Carlito hasn’t bled, sweat or paid the price but he’s taking Flair’s spot.

Flair has been here forever but Vince McMahon has told him that if he wants to stay, he has to prove it. Now Flair is trying to prove himself but Carlito is going out before the main event. Flair walks off, leaving a stunned Carlito with something to think about. This felt like Flair being told to go and let loose and he made it work because that is the kind of emotion he can bring like almost no one else.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton

The winner gets the WWE Title shot at Wrestlemania. At least Shawn has his title here, which doesn’t help him out as he gets double teamed down. Shawn comes back with a double clothesline and some atomic drops with Orton being tossed outside. Back up and Orton shoves Shawn off the top for a crash but only teases the RKO to Edge. We take a break and come back with Shawn tossing Orton and suplexing Edge. There’s a baseball slide to knock Orton onto the announcers’ table and a Thesz press to Edge as Shawn keeps the pace up.

Edge boots him in the face but gets caught going up top. A crotching puts Edge on the floor but Orton is back in with the backbreaker to Michaels. The RKO connects but Edge makes the save. Edge and Orton shake hands but then instantly turn on each other to start the fight. Stereo crossbodies put both of them down, allowing Shawn to drop the top rope elbow on Edge. Sweet Chin Music is blocked so Shawn sidesteps a spear, which hits Orton instead. A superkick drops Edge and Shawn pins Orton for the title shot.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where there wasn’t a ton of drama to the ending but at least they did well on their way to the finish. Michaels getting the shot at Cena was pretty much locked up last week but they had to make it official here. The action was good as you would expect and it set up Wrestlemania, so there isn’t much to complain about here.

Post match John Cena in for the staredown but here are Batista and Undertaker to stare at the top of them and then each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show had a couple of positives, including setting up a pair of Wrestlemania title matches and not having Donald Trump. You can tell that things are getting important around here again and the energy is rising. Throw in Flair’s great promo and there were parts of this show that worked very well. Unfortunately there were also parts that didn’t work, which was most of the actual wrestling. That wasn’t what mattered, but it did bring down a lot of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 5, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We have two Raw’s left before both the return of fans and Money in the Bank, meaning that it is time to start kicking things into a higher gear. WWE needs some momentum on their way back into normal and I’m not sure if they know how to do that at the moment. We are also likely getting some more hard pushes towards the ladder matches so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with MizTV with Miz and John Morrison in the ring. Miz’s guests this week will be the four entrants in the men’s Money in the Bank match, starting with Morrison as you might expect. Morrison says it is time for the Aquaholics to get soaked as he becomes Senor Dinero En El Banco. This brings out Drew McIntyre to say he has been fighting back to the title since Miz cashed in Money in the Bank. McIntyre recaps the Money in the Bank concept and since the show is in Texas, it is time for McIntyre’s History Lesson. This week is about the Alamo, because he is a distant relative of Davy Crockett. Morrison: “……REALLY???”

McIntyre hopes that Morrison is wet for Money in the Bank, because McIntyre is sticking Morrison’s head inside Miz. Morrison says you can kick the ocean and all you’ll get is wet, but here is Ricochet to cut them off. Miz calls Ricochet rude and reckless and we see a clip of Ricochet’s huge dive last week. Ricochet promises to do whatever it takes to win but here is Riddle to interrupt this time.

With his foot taped up, Riddle climbs the ladder because this is the Money in the Bank edition. Riddle: “I’m really high.” He failed last week so now he is dedicating his Money in the Bank performance to Randy Orton. That’s too far for Miz, who wants to know why Orton hasn’t kicked Riddle’s head in yet. Riddle: “Because we’re best buds!” McIntyre can respect that but Miz wants Jinder Mahal to take McIntyre apart tonight. Cue AJ Styles and Omos to say last week’s triple threat shouldn’t have happened because Orton was out. But no, instead of Styles vs. McIntyre, it was a triple threat where he wasn’t pinned.

Riddle thinks AJ is really annoyed down there, hopping around like a little rabbit all nimbly bimbly like (Ricochet can barely hold it in on that one). That’s enough for Omos to shove the ladder, and Riddle, over for a crash onto the bad foot. The ladder is thrown out and it’s a big circle staredown. AJ kicks Riddle in the leg and the brawl is on with Ricochet throwing Morrison out. Omos gets clotheslined outside by McIntyre and Ricochet hits a triangle dropkick to put Morrison down again. This was your standard, long, everyone come in and chat about the match before fighting segment and it wasn’t very good.

Ricochet vs. John Morrison

Ricochet has even made this one personal by BREAKING THE DRIP STICK. Morrison gets sent into the corner to start and there’s a running clothesline to put him down. We hit the reverse chinlock with a knee in Morrison’s back but Morrison reverses into a chinlock of his own. This is so thrilling that we look at Ricochet’s big dive last week until Morrison hits a flipping neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on again but Ricochet fights up and sends is sent outside, with Ricochet sliding back after him.

Ricochet has to jump over Miz (in his wheelchair), only to have his hurricanrana countered into a powerbomb against the apron. We take a break and come back with Ricochet hitting a faceplant but walking into a Spanish Fly. A crucifix gives Ricochet two but he gets caught in the ropes. Morrison misses a slingshot elbow and Ricochet hits a running crossbody to take Morrison down HARD to the floor. Morrison rolls back in but Miz wheels in front of Ricochet so he can’t beat the count at 12:13.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was another countout ending but they certainly had a creative way to get there. Miz interfering to help Morrison at least helps up set that prospect for Money in the Bank, though I wouldn’t trust those two to be smart enough to make a cheese sandwich. Ricochet is only going to be in the match for the high spots, but that’s better than slumming on Main Event.

Jinder Mahal arrives on a motorcycle and talks about how he and Drew McIntyre were friends once. McIntyre was there with him when he bought this motorcycle to celebrate a WWE Championship victory. The other day, Mahal sent McIntyre a text asking if he wanted to go riding for old times’ sake. McIntyre took THREE DAYS to reply, saying he was “2 busy”. And yes he used the number 2! Tonight, Mahal is proving that he was always the better man.

Reginald comes up to Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler, saying Alexa Bliss is behind them. Bliss is nowhere to be seen, so Baszler yells at him for being a mostly grown man scared of shadows. The three walk off and of course Bliss is there now.

We look back at MVP and Kofi Kingston’s argument last week.

Last week, Nikki Ash (just go with it) pinned Shayna Baszler thanks to an Alexa Bliss distraction.

Asuka and Naomi are happy to be part of a team with Nikki Ash, but she insists that she isn’t a hero. Now she has a chance to win Money in the Bank, though the other two aren’t so thrilled with the idea. Nikki runs off for her match when Alexa Bliss comes in to say Naomi and Asuka should lower their expectations for Money In The Bank.

Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss/Asuka/Naomi vs. Eva Marie/Doudrop/Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Oh boy. First of all, it has gone from Nikki Cross to Nikki ASH to Almost A Superhero Nikki Cross. Second, this could be an all time train wreck. Reginald is here too because you just need nine people here for a match. Doudrop and Naomi start but Eva tags herself in and actually drives Naomi into the corner. A single forearm sends Naomi into the corner and it’s already back to Doudrop. Naomi kicks Doudrop to the floor and hits the dive onto everyone else.

The parade of dives is on until Eva is left alone in the ring. Bliss comes in and screams her to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bliss forearming Doudrop but getting headbutted down for her efforts. Jax comes in to hammer on Asuka and it’s off to Baszler to work on the leg. That doesn’t last long so Bliss channels Reginald, with Baszler breaking things up. Eva comes in, ducks a kick from Asuka, and hands it back to Baszler again. Everything breaks down with Nikki’s top rope splash connecting for two, only to have Jax (Nikki Jax according to Smith) Samoan drop her for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: D-. There were botches, there were timing issues, there were too many people involved at once and none of them were interesting, plus Cross loses so NIA JAX can get some momentum? This division is in a complete nose dive and feels so silly most of the time these days. It’s turning into the Divas Era where most of the women are either goofy or horrible in the ring and that’s a scary thought. It’s also very disappointing, though I really don’t think WWE cares.

MVP isn’t sure how Kevin Patrick keeps getting into his dressing room but promises to take out New Day tonight. Bobby Lashley promises to do the same.

Mustafa Ali vs. Mansoor

Ali takes him down with an armbar to start, including some trash talk, but Mansoor is right back up. A spinebuster out of the corner gives Mansoor two and he whips Ali into the ropes, with Ali’s foot getting tied up. Mansoor helps him out….and gets rolled up for the fast pin at 2:54. Ali: “I TOLD YOU! THE HIGH ROAD WILL ONLY GET YOU SO FAR!!!”

Drew McIntyre explains that his sword is made from the Loch Ness Monster’s tooth and a great story talks about how a warrior will use it….to beat Jinder Mahal and go on to Money in the Bank in Fort Worth, Texas.

Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal

Veer and Shanky are here with Mahal. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start and hits a running shoulder to drop Mahal. Another shoulder does it again and McIntyre runs him over a third time, setting up a release overhead belly to belly to the floor. The goons offer a distraction though and Mahal drops McIntyre onto the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Mahal holding a chinlock but McIntyre is right back up with another suplex. There’s a nip up into a 3MB reference and Futureshock plants Mahal again. The Claymore is loaded up so Veer and Shanky come in for the DQ at 10:13.

Rating: D+. Yep, he’s still Mahal and he has some enhanced Singh Twins. That’s not a good sign for what we’re going to be seeing in the future but WWE loves Mahal and we’re getting him no matter what. I hope this isn’t the start of some kind of a story but it feels like exactly what we’re getting.

Post match the beatdown is on….and Mahal steals McIntyre’s sword because this is continuing.

New Day is ready to fight Bobby Lashley and MVP because they are not going to stay down. What matters is getting to Money in the Bank and seeing the fans’ pleasure at watching Kofi Kingston becoming WWE Champion. Kingston channels Kevin Garnett by shouting ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE and says after Money in the Bank, MVP and Lashley can take some vacations because they won’t have those championship responsibilities.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Lucha House Party

Lince Dorado is in a Kane inspired mask. Dorado hammers on T-Bar to start and snaps off a running hurricanrana. T-Bar catches a high crossbody without much trouble though and Dorado is sent outside. Mace sends him into the announcers’ table, setting up a heck of a big boot from T-Bar back inside. Gran Metalik saves Dorado from High Justice though and hits a step up dive to drop T-Bar on the floor. Back in and a hurricanrana finishes Mace at 3:35.

Rating: D+. What even is this show anymore? I’m not sure what WWE thinks of Mace and T-Bar, but losing to Lucha House Party is not a good sign for their future. This was another short and not awful match, but it does not exactly seem like something that is going to be leading anywhere.

Riddle checks on his foot but Damian Priest interrupts. Priest is worried about Riddle’s foot but Riddle says he has fallen off higher things than that. One time he dive off a roof and broke his foot diving into a pool. Priest: “That’s rough. Not sure what it has to do with tonight.” Riddle isn’t done though because he did it again the next year and landed in the deep end. He isn’t scared of ladders and he’ll win tonight. For Randy Orton.

AJ Styles vs. Riddle

Omos is here with Styles, who goes straight for Riddle’s injured foot. An armbar attempt sends Styles bailing to the ropes so he takes the foot out all over again. Cranking ensues but Riddle is back up, meaning it’s another shot to the foot to take him back down. Riddle hits a jumping kick to the chest and hammers Styles down in the corner for a bit of a surprise. A gutwrench suplex drops Styles again but Omos sweeps the leg to take over.

We take a break and come back with Styles grabbing an ankle lock. The Calf Crusher is broken up though and Riddle blasts him with a knee. The Broton gives Riddle two but Styles is back up with something like a reverse Death Valley Driver for two. Then the Viking Raiders pop up to distract Omos and Styles, allowing Riddle to grab a rollup for the pin at 13:01 (though Styles’ shoulder was very close to being up in time).

Rating: C. This match had the most potential of anything announced tonight and this is the best they can do? I get that it’s just a Money in the Bank momentum match, but the ending felt like it was stapled on, which was about as good as you would expect. They were rolling until then but the legs being cut off like that didn’t help things.

Here is Charlotte, on a crutch after getting chop blocked by Rhea Ripley last week. She talks about the NBA Playoffs being ruined because of all of the injuries, and now she might miss Money in the Bank. Ripley must be scared because she is trying to hurt hurt in advance and that is exactly what Charlotte would do. Cue Ripley with a crutch of her own (Charlotte: “You’re taking my entrance too?”) and it’s time for a crutch fight. Charlotte knocks Rhea’s away but Ripley gets it back and sends Charlotte running (with the knee looking fine). I guess that counts as Ripley outsmarting her?

Cedric Alexander/Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker/R-Truth

Hold on though as 24/7 Champion Akira Tozawa runs into the ring so Truth can roll him up for two, with the usual gang of imbeciles chasing after him. Truth joins the chase and that means a handicap match. Ryker throws Alexander around to start and it’s off to Elias…..who runs off. The swinging Boss Man Slam finishes Cedric at 1:03.

Bobby Lashley is warming up.

Next week: Ricochet vs. John Morrison falls count anywhere and Sheamus defends the US Title against Humberto Carrillo.

In two weeks: the Viking Raiders get their Tag Team Title shot against AJ Styles and Omos.

New Day vs. MVP/Bobby Lashley

MVP works on Xavier Woods’ arm to start and then powers him down without much effort. Woods goes after MVP’s recently healed knee though and hammers away on the mat. Kofi Kingston comes in off the top with a shot to the knee and then slaps on a hammerlock. That doesn’t last long so Lashley comes in to unload on Kingston in the corner.

A neckbreaker gives Lashley two but Kingston slips power of a powerslam and kicks him in the face. Lashley isn’t having that and pounds Kingston down in the corner, allowing MVP to come back in for some right hands of his own. Kingston knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex though and it’s into the corner for a short form Unicorn Stampede.

New Day sends them outside for the big dives and we take a break. Back with Lashley snapping off a suplex to Woods, setting up an armbar. MVP comes in to work on the arm as well but Woods shoves him away without much effort. If’s back to Kofi to clean house, including a Ballin Boom Drop to MVP. Everything breaks down with Lashley being knocked outside, allowing Trouble in Paradise to finish MVP at 14:36.

Rating: C-. This felt like a house show main event and I believe it is the match that was advertised for the house show main event when things come back later this month. The match itself was a fine way to get Kingston ready for the title match, but it wasn’t exactly something that got my interest up very high.

Overall Rating: D-. The opener was pretty good, AJ vs. Riddle was ok and the main event was acceptable. The rest of the show on the other hand was what happens when Raw does not try. WWE has made it clear that NOTHING matters until they get the fans back next week, which made this show feel even more pointless than usual. As bad as this was, that has me terrified for next week, which could be an even bigger chore to sit through.

I can handle bad shows and bad ideas, but the worst thing is when it feels like no one cares. That is what we had here, and it made for one of the worst shows I have sat through in a good while. Outside of the eight woman tag, nothing was overly terrible, but it felt like a show where most of the stories and segments were there because they had to be, and that is an awful feeling.

All night long, the message this show went was that what you’re watching doesn’t matter and keep waiting until next week. That’s fine in theory, but based on this show, I have no reason to believe that anything is going to be getting better in the near future. WWE, at least Raw, is just so bad right now and there is nothing to suggest that it is improving. What on here is supposed to make me want to keep watching? The scary part is I think WWE believes everything is supposed to, and that isn’t going to improve things.

Results
John Morrison b. Ricochet via countout
Nia Jax/Eva Marie/Shayna Baszler/Doudrop b. Nikki Cross/Asuka/Naomi/Alexa Bliss – Samoan drop to Cross
Mustafa Ali b. Mansoor – Rollup
Drew McIntyre b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Veer and Shanky interfered
Lucha House Party b. Mace/T-Bar – Hurricanrana to Mace
Riddle b. AJ Styles
Jaxson Ryker/R-Truth b. Elias/Cedric Alexander – Swinging Boss Man Slam to Alexander
New Day b. MVP/Bobby Lashley – Trouble in Paradise to MVP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 2007
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 17,115
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to start moving forward towards Wrestlemania. The big Raw stories coming out of last night would be John Cena retaining the WWE Title in a great Last Man Standing match over Umaga, plus Shawn Michaels coming this close to winning the Royal Rumble. I wonder if that means anything. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. Last week, he said no mortal man was going to keep him from making it to Wrestlemania. The problem is there were 29 mortal men in the Royal Rumble and one Undertaker. That was a setback, but he is going to Wrestlemania to become the new WWE Champion. Undertaker has the right to choose, but he hasn’t picked yet. If Undertaker picks Bobby Lashley’s ECW World Title (Shawn has jokes) or Batista’s World Heavyweight Title, that leaves John Cena and the WWE Title wide open. Tonight, Shawn is throwing his hat in the ring but here is Cena to interrupt.

Cena likes that idea but here is Edge to interrupt. Edge laughs at Shawn for losing last night and is greeted with a YOU SUCK chant. Shawn lost last night and he has beaten Cena more times than he can count. Edge is undefeated at Wrestlemania so the title shot should be his. Cue Randy Orton, who doesn’t seem to agree.

Last night it was every man for himself and it is the same with that WWE Title. Edge has had 30 title shots at Cena but Orton hasn’t had one. Cena cuts them off and the challenge is on but Vince McMahon pops up on screen. Since it’s Fan Appreciation Night, the Tag Team Title match is on for later. Cena seems intrigued and Shawn….kind of stands there.

JTG talks to the camera and sends some shout outs to his friends but Shad Gaspard says they have a match up next.

Cryme Tyme vs. Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas

Haas hammerlocks Shad to start but a shoulder puts Haas into the corner. A Shelton cheap shot cuts him off though and it’s time to stomp on Shad’s knee. Benjamin comes in and stays on the leg, even cutting off Shad’s rights and lefts with a half crab. Shad finally kicks him away and brings in JTG to take over. An elbow to Benjamin and a backdrop to Haas connect but everything breaks down. Shad is sent outside and Haas sneaks in a DDT so Benjamin can cover JTG (with tights) for the pin. That’s Cryme Tyme’s first loss.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the point was in having Cryme Tyme lose here unless they needed to be cooled down a bit, as they are the hottest regular team going at the moment. Haas and Benjamin haven’t been doing much of anything lately so this was kind of a strange loss. It’s not a career killer or anything, but kind of odd.

Vince McMahon gives Melina a pep talk in the back, telling her to seize the moment. Vince gets a hug and Melina leaves, with Coach replacing her. Fan Appreciation Night is ready to go and they’re both excited. It’s going to be bigger than the Royal Rumble and maybe even bigger than Wrestlemania. This is going to leave Vince’s name up there with Mother Teresa, Gandhi and DESMOND TUTU! Coach goes to make sure everything is ready.

This Week In Wrestling History: the first Royal Rumble, which was in no way aired to screw with the NWA’s Bunkhouse Stampede (which didn’t need to be screwed with in the first place).

Melina vs. Maria

The winner gets a Women’s Title shot at some point in the future, as per Vince McMahon’s order (or a First Contenders match according to Melina). JR says Maria has been improving every time she is in the ring, which is a scary concept. Maria rolls her up to start and hits a Bronco Buster for one. Melina isn’t having that and tosses Maria down by the hair to take over. A few kicks out of the corner don’t do Maria much good as Melina hits a not great looking flapjack. Melina screams a lot and grabs a Muta Lock for the tap. Lawler says that’s called California Dream, which Melina told him online. Lawler: “I’d like to blog her.”

Shawn Michaels isn’t going to kick Todd Grisham again but he’ll win the Tag Team Titles tonight. John Cena is no HHH though.

Super Crazy interrupts Mickie James, asking her if she remembers people calling her crazy. Well he’s SUPER Crazy! Melina comes in to say Mickie must be crazy if she thinks she’s keeping the Women’s Title. A brawl breaks out, with Melina shouting “I’M THE TRUE CHAMPION YOU WH***!”

Edge is with Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch and can’t believe that Randy Orton thinks he should get a title shot at Wrestlemania. No one can take the Tag Team Titles from them though.

Stills of Umaga vs. John Cena.

Umaga vs. Val Venis

Umaga starts fast with the Samoan drop and ties Venis in the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt connects and the running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to complete the squash.

Here is Vince McMahon, in a cowboy hat, for Fan Appreciation Night, complete with something under a sheet. Vince: “HOWDY PARDNER! Why you must be the new school marm!” That’s ridiculous, just like wearing a cowboy hat (yep). Anyone over the age of five wearing a cowboy hat is stupid, because it even messes up your hair. Vince stomps on the hat and thanks the fans for making him a billionaire. He would like to give everyone some monetary thanks but it can only be one person.

Vince calls in a woman from the crowd, who is in no way a model. He knows she must be nervous and then pulls the sheet off, revealing a large version of his Muscle & Fitness cover from last year. The woman seems to like it and Vince sends her away, saying he won’t remember her name (Jackie). And now, in a moment that I’m sure will age just fine, Donald Trump appears on the screen, sending Vince into a panic. He says the fans have no choice but to do what Vince wants and no one would want that picture. Not even Vince’s wife!

Trump knows what the fans want, including the value for what they paid for tickets tonight. Therefore, he is dumping money out of the ceiling, which seems to be completely real, despite what Vince says. Vince: “DONALD TRUMP YOU SON OF A B****!” JR even catches some money as Vince tries to get his head around the idea that it is raining cash. Vince rants about how the people are taking his money and storms off, as JR declares that Vince has been trumped. It’s going to be a long, long Road To Wrestlemania.

Post break, Coach, with money, says he can’t believe Trump would try to upstage him like that. Coach has gathered up as much money as he could, even throwing in some of his own (Ten dollars!). Vince jumps in the limo and leaves in a huff anyway.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Kenny Dykstra/Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito/Crazy. Masters drives Crazy into the corner to start and drives in some knees to the ribs. Crazy knocks him down and drops a corkscrew elbow for an early two. It’s off to Dykstra, who gets caught with a basement dropkick. Carlito comes in for a hurricanrana to the floor and the stereo dives drop the villains.

Back in and Masters trips Crazy down so Dykstra can drop an elbow to take over. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by Carlito coming in to break up a cover. Dykstra grabs his own chinlock but gets belly to back suplexed for his efforts. The double tag brings in Carlito and Masters to pick up the pace, including Carlito’s running knee lift. Everything breaks down and the Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. This could have been worse as Carlito and Crazy worked out well enough together. I never need to see Masters vs. Carlito again though, as it is one of those pairings that has been beaten so far into the ground. Dykstra continues to be one of those people who is just kind of there, but it can be rather hard to build someone up from almost nothing.

Randy Orton talks about what an honor it was to win the Tag Team Titles with Edge but they both want to be WWE Champion. As for tonight, they’re retaining the titles.

Intercontinental Title: Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Khali is challenging and knocks Hardy outside in a hurry. Hardy gets pulled back in with one arm and some heavy shots knock him down again. A big clothesline makes it worse for Hardy, who manages to get up for a Whisper in the Wind. That doesn’t do much though as the big chop puts Hardy on the floor for the countout.

Rating: D. It was more of an angle than a match and it made Khali look great without having Hardy get pinned. In theory this should set up Khali destroying him to win the title, or at least a title match, though I’m not sure I believe WWE is going to follow through on it. Nothing match, but it wasn’t supposed to be.

Candice Michelle is in a GoDaddy commercial for the Super Bowl. Not on Peacock of course.

Wrestlemania Recall: the first Money In The Bank.

Vladimir Kozlov is amazed that money fell from the ceiling but he wasn’t impressed by the Royal Rumble. He would have won you see.

Highlights of the Last Man Standing match.

John Cena and Ric Flair are in the back, with Flair saying Shawn Michaels wants to go to the main event of Wrestlemania. He might even superkick Cena to get there.

Vince McMahon will be on ECW this week. Oh dear.

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena

Michaels/Cena are challenging and the champs bail to the floor to start. Shawn chops Edge to start and Orton is almost ready to come in and save him. Instead it’s more chopping against the ropes with Edge flopping around early on. Cena comes in to quite the reaction and it’s a hiptoss into an elbow to the jaw for two. A DDT is good for the same but it’s off to Orton for some forearms to the back.

Orton grabs a suplex and Cena gets caught in the wrong corner. Cena fights up but gets knocked down again, only to have Orton knock Edge down by mistake. Things are about to fall apart but Orton knees Cena in the back from the apron to keep him in trouble. A knee drop gives Orton two and Edge adds a dropkick for the same.

The bodyscissors with a chinlock goes on until Cena fights up and powers his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house but Orton breaks up the superkick with a dropkick. Shawn blocks the RKO though and brings (the busted open) Cena back in for the FU and the pin to give us new champions.

Rating: C+. This was the way to get the Road To Wrestlemania off in a hurry as Shawn vs. Cena is already all but set for the show. That isn’t a bad thing, and it isn’t like there is a strong division underneath the titles in the first place. Michaels and Cena holding the titles isn’t that much different than Orton and Edge, so using it as a plot device to get us to Wrestlemania is not a bad thing.

Post match Shawn teases a superkick but stops, leaving Cena to yell at him instead. Then the gong goes off and here is Undertaker to stare them down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t the point here, because this show was all about having stuff happen. They did a lot of big things on this show and you can see where a good chunk of the Wrestlemania build is going. Your individual tastes may vary, but there is something to be said about having the build start hot and that is what they did here. The followup is important, but at least they were off to a good start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 28, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’ll wrap up the first half of the year as we are on the way towards the Money In The Bank. A lot of the spots have already been filled in and this week we are finishing up the Raw’s men’s qualifiers with a triple threat match. I’ll take that over the building momentum matches so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville tell us that Randy Orton is out of the triple threat match for reasons beyond WWE’s control. Therefore we are going to have a battle royal for the spot….but here is Riddle with a (football shaped) letter from Orton, saying Riddle should get the spot. The bosses think Riddle wrote the letter, mainly because most of these words aren’t real and there is a viper drawn in the corner. Riddle offers to wrestle on Orton’s behalf and giving Orton the spot if he wins. Deal.

Battle Royal

Riddle, Erik, Ivar, Jinder Mahal, Angel Garza, R-Truth, Mustafa Ali, Drew Gulak, Akira Tozawa, Damian Priest, Jeff Hardy, Cedric Alexander, Mansoor, Shelton Benjamin, Humberto Carrillo

Only Riddle gets an entrance and it is good to see Priest back in the ring. Gulak is out early (duh) and Cedric does his best Road Dogg impression by wrapping all four limbs around the bottom rope. Mahal dumps Benjamin and Mansoor throws Garza over, but Garza lands on one foot and hops around to get back in. Garza goes to eliminated Mansoor but Ali makes the save and dumps Garza instead. Then, as you might have expected, Ali tosses Mansoor.

The eliminations are teased among everyone else until Mahal tosses Truth. Mahal sends Tozawa out as well in a scary landing, allowing Gulak to steal the 24/7 Title. Then Truth gets it back from Truth and Tozawa takes it from him because this is still a thing. Cue Omos to pull both of the Vikings out and then beat them up as we take a break. Back with Hardy, Priest, Mahal, Riddle and Cedric still in.

That means a Priest vs. Mahal slugout with Priest kicking him out in a bit of a surprise. Cedric reverses a Twist of Fate and tosses Hardy out, setting up a lot of trash talking. Priest gets rid of Cedric and Priest starts striking away, only to get German suplexed down. The Bromission goes on but Priest sends him to the apron for the break. Riddle hangs on and grabs it again but Priest gets back inside. They fight to the apron again and this time Riddle knocks him out for the win at 14:48.

Rating: C-. They kept it fast paced enough here and moved some stories forward, but it’s rather tricky to rate these things. That being said, this was a battle royal for a spot in a match to determine a future shot at a champion at any time, with a wrestler appearing in another wrestler’s place. That should be enough to downgrade it a bit.

Riddle demands Randy Orton’s music be played.

Video on Shayna Baszler vs. Alexa Bliss.

Shayna Baszler is shuffling a deck of cards (there is a Shayna Baszler Queen Of Spades deck but it’s not them) when Nia Jax and Reginald come in to mock her for it. Baszler says it keeps her from hitting people in the face but now she needs to deal with Alexa Bliss and the doll. They all leave and Bliss is watching.

AJ Styles is ready for Riddle and doesn’t like the suggestion that Omos cheated the Viking Raiders in the battle royal.

Nikki Cross loves being a superhero and is so glad that she is in Money in the Bank. She is one win away from being a superhero, making her Nikki ASH: Almost A Superhero. There’s your reference to the released WWE writer.

Nikki Cross vs. Shayna Baszler

Reginald and Nia Jax are here too. Cross starts fast with a crossbody but Shayna sends her hard into the corner to take over. Cue Alexa Bliss for a distraction though and Cross dives onto everyone as we take a break. Back with Shayna kicking the knee out and hitting a gutwrench faceplant for two. A running knee in the corner connects but a Bliss distraction lets Cross hit a tornado DDT. Jax goes over to glare at Bliss, who starts mind controlling her. Reginald breaks it up so Bliss kicks Jax in the leg and gives Reginald a low blow before leaving. The distraction rollup gives Baszler two so Cross grabs la majistral for the pin at 9:42.

Rating: D+. Another match where they got their weird supernatural deal in and moved on, all while making sure to turn Baszler into even more of a lower. I like the idea of Cross winning something for a change, but egads man. What did Baszler ever do to deserve losing so much in this horrible angle?

We look back at Bobby Lashley destroying Xavier Woods last week.

Here is Kofi Kingston for a chat. Last week, his best friend Xavier Woods was locked in the Cell with Bobby Lashley and put in everything he had, like he always does. Woods showed he can hang at that level and he should get the respect he deserves. Kofi was forced to watch Woods in the Hurt Lock from outside the Cell and now it is time for some revenge.

Cue MVP, with Lashley’s women, to laugh off the idea that Kingston is going to be able to beat Lashley. Kingston thinks Lashley is going soft though, and that is coming from a unicorn wearing, pancake tossing hip swiveler. MVP had to save Lashley from losing the title a few weeks back and Kingston knows he can win. Every week, a layer is stripped away from Lashley and by the time we get to Money in the Bank, Lashley might look like MVP.

Kingston talks about never taking time off as WWE Champion, including taking the title to his hometown in Ghana to show that anything is possible. MVP has Lashley on vacation and taking days off and someone is going to take the title from him. That is going to be Kingston at Money in the Bank. MVP thinks Kingston did all that stuff to feed his own ego and is sounding as confident as Woods did last week.

Kingston says Woods is going to be back next week and thinks MVP has been milking his knee injury for the better part of six months. MVP says he isn’t cleared for combat or else he would take Kingston down. That’s enough for Kingston to go to the floor and, after ducking a cane shot, hit Trouble In Paradise. That’s a bit aggressive over someone not medically cleared.

We recap Doudrop turning on Eva Marie last week.

Eva Marie says Doudrop made a mistake last week so tonight it’s a rematch so the Eva-Lution can continue. Doudrop looks annoyed.

Asuka/Naomi vs. Doudrop/Eva Marie

Doudrop plants Naomi to start but misses a backsplash, allowing the tag off to Asuka. That means a missile dropkick into the corner and a kick to the face staggers Doudrop again. The Asuka Lock goes on but Doudrop walks over for the tag to Eva…who drops to the mat. Asuka goes after Doudrop but gets knocked down. Naomi gets the same and it’s a seated crossbody to give Doudrop the pin on Asuka at 2:19.

Eva Marie claims victory and Doudrop isn’t happy.

Miz and John Morrison talk Money in the Bank cashing in strategy. Ricochet comes in to say not so fast and steals the Drip Stick to spray them down.

Ricochet vs. John Morrison

Miz is on commentary as Ricochet blocks a kick to start and hits a slam. Morrison takes him down into an armbar but Ricochet fights up and kicks him to the floor. The baseball slide hits but Ricochet can’t bring himself to hit Miz. Instead Ricochet dives over said chair and hurricanranas Morrison, setting up a Drip Stick blast to Miz.

We take a break and come back with Ricochet striking away, including a knee to Morrison’s chin. A dolling Death Valley Driver and a basement clothesline get two on Morrison but Morrison is back with a knee to the face for the same. Starship Pain misses and Ricochet knocks him to the floor, with Morrison bailing over the barricade to avoid a dive. Morrison sits on the barricade so Ricochet hits a dive for a crazy disappearing crash. They’re both done and that’s a double countout at 10:04.

Rating: C+. The ending alone deserves a boost as those two disappeared over that barricade. That being said, this was the same thing that WWE does every year with the Money in the Bank participants: nothing matches which change nothing for the pay per view, which will reset everything and ignore what has happened in the previous few weeks.

We look at Charlotte beating Rhea Ripley via DQ at Hell In A Cell.

Charlotte talks about how she and Natalya and Tamina know what is expected from them.

Charlotte/Natalya/Tamina vs. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Rhea Ripley

Hold on though as a huge brawl breaks out before the bell. Everyone fights on the floor and we take a break before the match starts. Dana headscissors Natalya to start but gets sent outside where Tamina offers a distraction. Charlotte gets in a shot to the back of the head of her own, allowing her to hit a cheap shot on Ripley. Back in and the beating continues, with Tamina stomping away in the corner.

Charlotte goes after the ribs but a slam is reversed into a cradle for two. The kickout sends Brooke into the corner for the tag to Ripley though and it’s time to pick up the pace. Natalya comes in and gets kicked in the head as everything breaks down. Mandy slips out of a pair of Sharpshooter attempt but Charlotte makes a blind tag. The big boot to the jaw finishes Mandy at 5:33.

Rating: D+. The pre-match brawl was good but things go downhill as soon as the bell rings. There is only so much you can do with a couple of losers like Rose and Brooke and that was apparent here. I’m sure they’ll get some fluke win and that’s going to be enough for the title match, but it isn’t like they have done anything to make the build work.

Post match Charlotte poses but Rhea chop blocks her. Charlotte is limping.

Jaxson Ryker whips himself as the 24/7 goofs come in. R-Truth stops to ask if Ryker hates himself or something. Ryker explains the idea of his strap match with Elias and says he is exploring the ways to inflict the most pain. Truth: “Thank you for sharing man.” He asks if can borrow the strap after the match so he can lasso Akira Tozawa. Ryker keeps whipping himself and Truth runs off. Your new Raw star people.

Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker

Strap match and Elias jumps him before the bell. Ryker gets tied over the post so Elias can pull him up by his arms for some pain. Back in and Elias hits a jumping knee to knock Ryker out of the air for two. That’s enough to fire Ryker back up though and a few whips set up the swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D. So yeah the push continues as Ryker’s entire deal seems to be that he’s really serious and intense. The strap added a few spots here but these rather short gimmick matches are always kind of hard to take. Pretty much nothing to see in this one, but Ryker is probably going to be pushed pretty hard going forward.

Riddle, channeling Randy Orton, is warming up when Damian Priest comes up to give him a pep talk. After a Burger King plug, Riddle holds out his hand to do the lock and key deal, but when Priest doesn’t get it, Riddle admits that he isn’t Orton. Priest knew, and wishes him luck.

Drew McIntyre talks about how tonight’s triple threat match is like the Scots vs. the English vs. the Irish. They were all fighting once (Drew: “I can’t remember why.”) and tonight he is going to win. I’m not sure if I like these history lessons or not but they’re energized.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Riddle vs. AJ Styles

Omos is here with Styles and if Riddle wins, Randy Orton gets the spot. McIntyre starts fast with the overhead belly to belly suplexes, followed by the crazy high backdrop to Styles. It’s too early for the Claymore so they go outside, where McIntyre loads up a powerbomb onto the announcers’ table. Riddle dives out of the air to break that up but Styles posts both of them to take over. Styles and Riddle fight to suplex the other through the announcers’ table until Riddle settles for one on the floor.

Back up and an enziguri drops McIntyre, allowing Riddle and Styles to slam him through the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Styles working on Riddle’s leg but wisely going outside to stomp on the still down McIntyre. Back in and a half crab has Riddle in trouble, with Styles being smart enough to keep it on when Riddle makes the rope. A brainbuster gives AJ two but Riddle is back up with a hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but AJ is back with something close to a Burning Hammer for two.

McIntyre is back in though and gets rid of AJ, setting up the reverse Alabama Slam to Riddle. The Claymore misses though and Riddle dumps McIntyre out to the floor. Riddle is back up with a penalty kick to each of them and the springboard Floating Bro hits both of them for a big crash. Some kicks to the chest have Styles and McIntyre down again but Styles sends a kick into the steps.

Riddle thinks his (bare) foot is broken so it’s time for some medics to take him out. We come back from another break with Riddle gone and McIntyre possibly tweaking his knee. A neckbreaker takes Styles down but he slips out of a superplex attempt. The fireman’s carry neckbreaker gets two, as does a Michinoku Driver to Styles.

A quick Calf Crusher has McIntyre in trouble but here is Riddle with a taped up ankle for the Bromission to break things up. AJ goes for the ankle for the save but McIntyre is back up. An enziguri, with the bad foot, drops McIntyre to the floor and Riddle jumping knees AJ out of the air. The RKO hits Styles but Omos pulls him out at two. The Claymore gives McIntyre the pin on Riddle at 26:41.

Rating: B-. This was really long and the ending was a bit disappointing, but at least they had some solid action to fill in a large chunk of the show. Riddle fighting for his best friend is a good story and I could go for more of that in the future, though I don’t think Orton is going to be overly happy with his partner taking the fall. Good main event overall, but they could have chopped it down a bit.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event bailed out a good bit of this show but the warm streak came to an abrupt halt here. A lot of these matches were pretty dry or had annoying results (again, mainly the women’s division, which has fallen off a cliff in recent weeks, and it is still not the wrestlers’ fault) and a lot of this felt like filler instead of building to the pay per view. That is where this season starts to get hard to watch and you could feel it starting here. It wasn’t the worst (the lack of Lily continues to help a lot) but it was also not a show that you needed to see.

Results
Riddle won a battle royal last eliminating Damian Priest
Nikki Cross b. Shayna Baszler – La majistral
Doudrop/Eva Marie b. Asuka/Naomi – Running crossbody to Asuka
Ricochet vs. John Morrison went to a double countout
Charlotte/Tamina/Natalya b. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Rhea Ripley – Big boot to Rose
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias – Swinging Boss Man Slam
Drew McIntyre b. Riddle and AJ Styles – Claymore to Riddle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 22, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble but you might not know it by watching the previous shows. The Rumble itself has barely been mentioned as most of the focus has been on Umaga vs. John Cena for the World Title. That’s not a bad move, but it is a bit of a weird one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Bam Bam Bigelow. That’s a hard one.

We open with a recap of Rated-RKO taking out some of Shawn Michaels’ friends last week but getting taken out by Shawn himself in the main event.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. Last week, he felt a feeling that he has tried to overcome for years. He does not like those feelings coming back but those days of stopping are gone. Shawn feels like he can be WWE Champion again and that starts this Sunday by winning the Royal Rumble. May God have mercy on the 29 other entrants who dare to get in his way and no mortal man is going to get in his way….but here is Edge to interrupt.

Edge talks about how he is the one who is going to win the Royal Rumble because he has been to the top of the mountain twice, but Shawn tells him to shut up. The fight is on and security can’t break it up. We take a break and come back with the break still on in the back and security still not being much good.

Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Non-title and this is Raw vs. Smackdown as Jeff wants revenge on Mercury for helping take out Matt Hardy on Friday. Johnny Nitro and Melina are here too but Jeff throws Mercury in to start in a hurry. Mercury gets in a shot so Nitro pulls the mat back on the floor. That’s enough for an ejection but Mercury is able to grab Jeff’s face and rip away. Jeff fights up with some elbows to the face into the Whisper in the Wind. The Twist of Fate drops Mercury on his damaged face to give Jeff the fast pin.

Post match Jeff gets out of there before Nitro and Melina can get back.

Jonathan Coachman comes in to see Vince McMahon and has an idea for tonight. He’ll throw Shawn Michaels and Edge out, but Vince makes a street fight instead. In addition, Vince has an announcement to make in the ring.

Here are Vince and Coach for a chat. Vince talks about reading Donald Trump’s letter last week, so tonight he is going to read his own letter to Trump. The letter talks about Trump’s TV ratings being awful, but they will go up when Vince guest stars on the Apprentice. He is the reason for Raw’s ratings success, and it could be due to his good looks, his charisma, or his Herculean physique. The people love him and he loves them back. Fans: “A**HOLE!” Vince: “You’re making it tough to love you back!”

Vince promises to show his love for the people next week but here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena wants to know when Vince became Brother Love and tells him to stop yapping about Donald Trump. It’s like Vince is obsessed with him and an obsessed Vince McMahon is never a good thing. Cena: “Remember that obsession you had with starting your own football league?” Cena compares Vince and Trump, with Coach saying Trump does everything bigger than Vince, including having more money. That’s too far for Vince, who makes Cena vs. Coach for tonight.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

Masters jumps him to start but Crazy hits a quick middle rope crossbody. Crazy gets thrown down again and the stomping is on in a hurry. Back up and Crazy slugs away, including a spinwheel kick, which has Lawler thinking Crazy is “all jacked up on Mountain Dew.” Masters catches him coming out of the corner with the Masterlock but Crazy climbs the corner and drops back onto him for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Crazy wins to give him a little momentum. WWE seems interested in pushing him and he hasn’t done badly at all in response. I could go for a bit more of him and the fans seem to like him well enough. Granted it isn’t hard to get cheered against Masters, so the pairing does make sense.

Coach tries to convince Vince McMahon that he is way richer than Donald Trump but Vince is more worried about showing the fans how he appreciates them next week. Oh and Coach’s match with Cena is still on.

Kenny Dykstra insists that he is going to win the Royal Rumble on Sunday. He defeated Ric Flair three times so he knows he can do it. Maria doesn’t seem convinced but Dykstra says this is going to be his year.

A very banged up Randy Orton isn’t happy with Edge for leaving him to get mauled by Shawn Michaels last week. Edge tries to explain what happened and wants to know if Orton has his back in getting rid of Shawn Michaels tonight. Orton says we’ll wait and see as you can feel the tension.

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Non-title. Actually hang on a second as Coach has another idea: we’re going to have a Royal Rumble, and if Cena wins, THEN he can face Coach one on one. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are here first and the double teaming is on in a hurry, including a bunch of right hands. Cade drops Murdoch down into a legdrop on Cena and the beating is on in the corner. Cena fights out of said corner and tosses Murdoch without much effort.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas are in next, with Viscera following shortly thereafter. Cade comes back in to help hold Cena down for Viscera’s elbow. Cue Great Khali to starts clearing the ring until Viscera and Cena are the only others left. A big boot drops Viscera and Khali tosses him, allowing Cena to come in off the top with a shoulder. That has almost no effect so Khali hits a clothesline and tosses him out for the win.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s all it needed to be. Khali is becoming a player in a hurry because he is pretty easy to push. You can probably pencil him in for a title program soon after Wrestlemania is over and I’ve heard far worse ideas. Not much of a match of course, but at least it had a point.

Post match Khali runs Cena over again and drops him with ease, allowing Coach to run in for two. Cue Umaga to jump Cena from behind and I guess that’s a DQ? Either way, Umaga splashes Cena through a table to crush his ribs. It takes a long time to get rid of Umaga and Cena has to be helped to the back.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Victoria/Melina

This is Candice’s return after Victoria broke her nose, meaning a lot of nose pointing ensues. Mickie starts fast with a basement dropkick to Melina and we get the required spank. A hurricanrana sends Melina flying out of the corner but Victoria pulls Mickie down from the apron. There’s a double wishbone to keep Mickie in trouble and Melina chokes in the ropes, sending Lawler into hysterics.

Mickie avoids Victoria’s running charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Candice to start cleaning house. A dropkick puts Melina down but Victoria hits a heck of a knee to the face. Mickie comes in for the save and dives onto Melina, leaving Candice to hit a middle rope….uh….I guess we’ll say elbow for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was about getting Candice out there to show off what seems to be her new cosmetic enhancements and rather limited outfit. Candice is absolutely trying but there is a bit of a way to go between effort and success. Pretty bad match, but you can almost guarantee that Candice is getting a push in a hurry.

Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito, who sends Kenny into the corner without much effort. Kenny is right back with a dropkick into a chinlock but Carlito gets to his feet and hammers away. A springboard back elbow drops Kenny but he grabs a rollup into a pinfall reversal sequence. Kenny finally grabs the trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here with Dykstra getting a win over someone other than Ric Flair. It doesn’t make things that much better for him as all of the problems are still there, but at least they are trying with someone else. At the same time, Carlito is still about as uninteresting as you can get, which has been the case for a long time now.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels from last week in the same video that started the show.

Cryme Tyme is selling Royal Rumble numbers to Eugene and Super Crazy. Since he is crazy, Crazy will take any number. Crazy is rather pleased with his number and Eugene gets #30. Hold on though as Cryme Tyme explains that he really wants to be #1…..which he can be for another $50. Eugene leaves, and we find out that not only are the numbers not real, but Eugene isn’t even in the number. Also, they sold the painting The Scream and it wasn’t real either. Cryme Tyme leaves and it turns out that Ron Simmons bought said painting. Guess what he has to say.

Royal Rumble Rundown.

We look back at Cena being taken out. Cena may have a ruptured spleen.

We look back at Edge and Shawn Michaels brawling earlier tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge

Street fight and they’re both in street clothes. Shawn wins the early slugout and pulls Edge’s belt off for a whipping. The weapons are brought in but Edge knocks him out of the air with a trashcan lid. We take a break and come back with Edge busted open and hitting him in the ribs with something made of metal.

Edge gets creative by superplexing a ladder onto Shawn for two but a powerbomb is broken up with some right hands to the head. The comeback is on with Shawn hitting the atomic drop. A chain is wrapped around Edge’s eyes and now he is busted open as well. Shawn drops Edge onto a ladder bridged over two sets of steps but Edge gets up to catch Shawn on top.

That doesn’t make a difference either though as Shawn drops Edge ribs first onto the ladder again. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Edge reverses into something like an electric chair (Edge tried to pick him up but dropped Shawn on the way to the shoulders). The spear is countered into the Thesz press though and Shawn grabs a chair to knock Edge silly. Another Conchairto is loaded up but here is Randy Orton to hit the RKO and give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. These two getting some time in a violent match is always going to work and that was the case here. It felt like a main event and the two of them beat each other up for about fifteen minutes. The ending makes sense given what they are doing as Edge and Orton want to destroy Shawn, but Orton is going to mess with Edge on the way there if he can.

Post match Orton throws Edge over the top but here are Ric Flair, Kenny Dykstra and Carlito in a row. Shawn comes back up with some Sweet Chin Musics

Overall Rating: D+. The main event was the only worthwhile thing on this show as the Royal Rumble only needs so much of a build. Umaga injuring Cena was a good angle but other than that and the main event, there wasn’t much to see on the whole thing. It isn’t that surprising as the pay per view is set, but it would have been nice to have more than one good match in two hours.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 21, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith

We’re done with the Cell and that means it is time to start getting ready for Money in the Bank. That means a lot of qualifying matches before we have a series of matches with the people building momentum, whatever that means going into a ladder match. Other than that, Bobby Lashley needs a new challenger after beating Drew McIntyre again. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hell In A Cell if you need a recap.

The briefcases and the Cell are above the ring and the MONEYMONEYMONEYMONEYMONEY song is back, because there are two songs ever for that show.

Here are Bobby Lashley and MVP, flanked by his latest group of women, for the VIP Lounge. MVP brags about Lashley retaining and hands him the floor. Lashley says he was pushed to his limit last night but proved that he is still the Almighty. They brag about their win and load up a toast but here is the New Day to interrupt, complete with a plate of toast. Said toast is thrown into the ring, prompting MVP to talk about how this is more proof of what goofs these two are.

MVP accuses Kofi Kingston of not taking things seriously and hanging out with his video game obsessed friend. Kofi says not so fast but Lashley talks about being on a higher level than the two of them. That makes Kofi laugh as he talks about becoming WWE Champion at Wrestlemania XXXV and then beating Lashley last week. We see a clip of said loss and Lashley isn’t cool with that. The challenge is on Lashley accepts for Money in the Bank, but he wants to make sure it’s one on one. Therefore, he can beat up Xavier Woods tonight.

That’s cool with Woods, who cuts off MVP from talking down to him. Woods runs down his own accolades, which mainly include being on YouTube and G4. Oh and let’s make tonight’s match inside the Cell. I’m surprised they didn’t put a USA NETWORK APPROVED sticker on the screen, as that could not be more of WWE appeasing them over FOX getting a Cell match if they tried.

Earlier today, AJ Styles ran into the Viking Raiders and promised to become the new Mr. Money in the Bank. He’s so sure that he’ll beat them for the Tag Team Titles soon after, but the Raiders aren’t convinced. AJ slaps the turkey leg out of Ivar’s hand but violence is held back.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

Ricochet knows what it takes to get to the WWE Title match and he’ll show why he’s something special. AJ gets sent to the apron to start and a springboard kick to the face puts him on the floor. Ricochet misses a springboard moonsault though and gets posted hard as we take an early break.

Back with AJ dropping Ricochet again but a shot to the face rocks Styles for a change. There’s a crossbody to send AJ into the corner and a running clothesline catches him for a bonus. Back to back suplexes give Ricochet two but AJ scores with a kind of torture rack powerbomb for his own near fall.

A strike off goes to Ricochet, who ducks the Pele Kick and grabs a bridging German suplex for two more. AJ grabs the fireman’s carry backbreaker but here are the Viking Raiders to go after Omos. A missed charge sends Omos through the barricade though and the distraction lets Ricochet counter the Phenomenal Forearm into the Recoil for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C+. I’m rather glad to see Ricochet getting his chance and it isn’t like AJ needs to be in Money in the Bank when he might be defending the Tag Team Titles on the same show. Ricochet is a perfect person to put in this kind of a match and giving him a win over AJ isn’t such a big upset that it is too much to believe.

Riddle, now with RKBro merchandise (including a bag and a coffee cup) talks to Randy Orton about wanting to put a stash of Burger King Whoppers in the briefcase when one of them win it tonight. Orton: “RIDDLE! WHAT DO YOU WANT???” Riddle asks for some pointers and dances a bit while waiting. Orton tells him to stay out of his way, which Riddle thinks will be difficult if they’re both in the ladder match. Riddle thinks it would be awesome if they are both in the match, but Orton disagrees and walks off.

We look at Eva Marie’s return with her unnamed partner.

Eva Marie, while getting the interviewer’s name wrong, says that she had a cold last week to prevent her from getting in the ring. That’s why she had a substitute, in the form of….Doudrop. Well of course it is.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Eva Marie/Doudrop vs. Asuka/Naomi

Eva starts with Asuka and tags out immediately, as you would expect. Asuka can’t do much with Doudrop to start so it’s off to Naomi, as Eva drops down to the floor. Doudrop plants Naomi and hits the Cannonball in the corner, but Eva tags herself in as Doudrop goes up. This time it’s Doudrop heading to the floor as Eva reaches for the tag, meaning Naomi can grab a rollup for the pin at 2:50. That’s a change of pace and they have me curious so well done.

Eva is stunned and Doudrop smiles at her.

We look back at Charlotte beating Rhea Ripley last night via DQ, because Charlotte needed to win as the feud is extended.

We look back at the opening segment to set up the Cell match tonight.

Here are Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to deal with the Rhea Ripley/Charlotte fallout. Ripley comes out and wants to know why that was a DQ, but here is Charlotte to promise to destroy Ripley soon. Deville gets to the point and makes the rematch for Money in the Bank. They kept this really short here and there wasn’t much of a reason not to.

We recap the Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Tamina/Natalya, including Natalya beating Rose last night.

Tamina and Natalya were having a photo shoot when an interview broke out. Hold on though, as they were distracted by Rose and Brooke training in the nearby ring. Natalya said they were trying to have an interview (not exactly) and another fight was teased. Mandy and Dana kicked them off the apron and got rather smug.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. John Morrison

Miz is on commentary. Morrison takes Orton down to start and a kick to the head gets an early two. An armbar has Orton in more trouble but he fights up and takes it to the floor. Morrison sends him into the announcers’ table a few times but Orton does it far more times, setting up a belly to back drop onto the table.

We take a break and come back with Orton stomping away and grabbing his own chinlock. Morrison fights up and hits a springboard kick to the face to send things outside. Orton’s hand is slammed into the steps, setting up an armbar so we can get an inset ad for Fast and Furious 9.

Back to full screen with Morrison staying on the arm but Orton fights up and hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Miz fires off the Drip Stick, allowing Morrison to grab a rollup for two. An uppercut sends Morrison to the apron but here is Riddle for a slow speed chase after Miz. The distraction lets Morrison kick Orton down and hit Starship Pain for the pin at 12:20.

Rating: C-. This was similar to Ricochet beating Styles as it is an upset but it isn’t an earth shattering upset. Morrison being in the ladder match is a bit more interesting than Orton as it gives the chance of something fresh getting into the main event scene, even if Morrison has absolutely no chance of winning. The Drip Stick is a bit stupid, but that’s kind of the point of Miz and Morrison so it’s hard to complain that much.

We recap Alexa Bliss using her mind control powers to control Nia Jax and beat Shayna Baszler.

Nia Jax says she won’t attack Reginald again tonight. Shayna Baszler insists that she isn’t scared of anyone in the locker room and no one is stopping them from qualifying for Money in the Bank. Jax says there is something different about Alexa Bliss.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Bliss has new music, featuring her talking a lot. Before the match, Nikki Cross talks about how she is trying to stand out and needs something to find a way to succeed despite her shortcomings. Therefore, she now has a mask and superhero costume while saying she is embracing her spirit. So she’s Scottish Mighty Molly?

Baszler drives Cross into the corner to start and sends her to the apron. A slingshot Oklahoma roll gets two on Baszler so it’s off to Jax. Cross sends her outside where we pause so Bliss can mind control Reginald. Baszler and Jax talk him out of it but Cross dives onto all three as we take a break.

Back with Bliss hitting her moonsault knees on Baszler but Jax comes back in to take over. Baszler chokes on the ropes and grabs the chinlock for a bit. Bliss fights up and gets in a shot to the face, allowing the hot tag to Cross. House is cleaned for all of a few moments but Jax takes her into the corner. Baszler nearly hits Jax by mistake and the weekly argument is on. Bliss uses the distraction to control Reginald, who can’t bring himself to slap Jax. The distraction lets Cross grab La Majistral to pin Baszler at 10:09, because Nia Jax is just there to stand around while Baszler gets pinned.

Rating: C. There is a lot here, as Bliss continues her mind control deal, which I’ll still take over the Lily nonsense. At the same time, it’s really, really annoying to have Baszler become the designated jobber, as these stupid arguments between her and Jax continue. That has been their thing since they came together and it hasn’t been that interesting since it started. On the other hand, you have Cross FINALLY getting some TV time. Yeah the superhero deal is kind of dumb, but I’ll take that over her sitting on the sidelines doing nothing.

Drew McIntyre promises to fight despite being banged up, even quoting Winston Churchill.

Jinder Mahal, with lackeys, Jeff Hardy, Cedric Alexander and Sheamus are arguing about who should be competing for Money in the Bank. Sonya Deville doesn’t want to hear it and the decisions are final. Sheamus brings up being US Champion and thinks he should be in automatically. Adam Pearce takes that to mean Sheamus’ nose is healed and he can defend his title. Sheamus panics and goes off to find his doctor. Mahal complains about not being in and suggests he should be the alternate. Everyone leaves.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Riddle vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew, with his wrecked back, goes for the grappling to start so Riddle goes to the ropes. With that not working, McIntyre blasts him with a clothesline and fires away in the corner. There’s the big toss across the ring for two on Riddle and a toss suplex gives Drew the same. An elbow to the face gives Drew two more but Riddle pulls him off the middle rope for a crash. There’s the Broton to set up the gutwrench suplex, banging up Drew’s back again.

Another one is countered into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send Riddle outside. That’s fine with Riddle, who snaps off a belly to belly as we take a break. Back with Drew fighting out of a chinlock but Riddle gets in a shot to the back to put him down again. The Broton hits raised knees though and it’s an overhead belly to belly into a neckbreaker.

Somehow Drew nips up and the reverse Alabama Slam gets a slightly delayed two. Riddle is taken up top but he manages to crotch Drew….who lifts himself up for the release German superplex anyway. Cue Randy Orton to watch and we take another break. Back again with Riddle reversing a super White Noise into a sunset bomb, followed by a knee to the face for two.

Drew grabs a Michinoku Driver for two and goes up, only to dive into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a Futureshock for two but Riddle collapses before the Claymore can launch. There’s a ripcord knee to McIntyre but the Floating Bro misses. The Claymore is countered into the Bromission, which is countered as well. The Glasgow Kiss looks to set up an electric chair but Riddle reverses into a victory roll for the pin at 22:49.

Rating: B. This worked well, as McIntyre tried to fight through the pain but still lost in the end. The fact that McIntyre almost never loses a match clean makes this all the more interesting and Riddle gets to continue his rise back to being something. I’m curious to see where McIntyre goes from here, but he has been on top long enough that a step down isn’t going to hurt him.

Post match Riddle scooters up the ramp but Randy Orton isn’t pleased. Riddle: “Randy what’s wrong? You can always talk to me Bro.” Orton looks at him but Riddle still can’t get a fist bump.

We recap Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker, with Elias running away twice in a row.

Ryker is whipping himself with a strap when Mansoor comes up to ask for some advice. That doesn’t seem to sit well so Mansoor leaves, but Ryker says never let your enemy escape. More often than not, those closest to you are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Next week, it’s Elias vs. Ryker in a strap match. Elias is all about the music, and next week, the big hit will be the strap against Elias’ flesh.

Mansoor goes to leave when he runs into Mustafa Ali, who says Mansoor is asking the wrong people. Why are people in the Money in the Bank qualifying matches stealing spots from the two of them? If they don’t get the chance to climb the ladder of success, you have to build your own ladder. Ryker whips himself some more.

The Cell is lowered.

Bobby Lashley vs. Xavier Woods

Non-title with MVP and Kofi Kingston here as well. Woods tries to start fast but gets powered out to the floor. That means it’s time for a chair, which Lashley punches into Woods’ face. The running charge hits the post though and Woods is able to dropkick Lashley into the Cell twice in a row. A running chair shot drops Lashley again and we take a break.

Back with Lashley hammering away until Woods misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Woods’ charge lets Lashley tie him in the ring skirt though and the beating is on again. Lashley stops to yell at Kofi though and Woods gets back inside. A forearm to the leg cuts Lashley down for a second and Woods gets in a hard kendo stick shot. Woods gets in more shots with the stick on the floor and a victory roll faceplant is good for two back inside.

A tornado DDT gives Woods two more so he sets up a table. Lashley’s quick powerbomb attempt is broken up and a superkick puts him on said table. The rope walk elbow sends Lashley through the table for two (with Woods almost overshooting him) but Lashley sends him face first into a chair in the corner. The spear sets up the Hurt Lock to finish Woods at 13:37.

Rating: C+. This was another match that didn’t need to be in the Cell as it was little more than a street fight for the most part. The fact that it was the fourth match in the Cell in four days didn’t help either, but I would bet on this being a way to appease USA more than anything else. There was never any doubt here and that’s ok, as Woods got to look good for a bit.

Post match the beating stays on with MVP getting inside the Cell and locking it back. Lashley puts Woods up against the Cell as Kofi can’t do anything to end the show. That was an effective use of the Cell for a change, though I’m not sure why Kofi didn’t get the referee to unlock the door again.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, Raw is better when they have somethi0ng going through the course of the show to keep them from going way off course. That was the case here with a slate of mostly good qualifying matches, though you can’t do that every week. Money in the Bank is starting to take a nice shape, but there is a long time to go and that is where WWE can get in trouble. Good enough show this week though, and a FAR better version of Raw than usual.

Results
Ricochet b. AJ Styles – Recoil
Naomi/Asuka b. Eva Marie/Doudrop – Rollup to Marie
John Morrison b. Randy Orton – Starship Pain
Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss b. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax – La Majistral to Baszler
Riddle b. Drew McIntyre – Victory roll
Bobby Lashley b. Xavier Woods – Hurt Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2007
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to the Royal Rumble though you might not know it based on how the last few weeks have gone. Instead, the last few weeks have focused on various celebrities, or at least celebrity impersonators in last week’s case. The actual wrestling stories coming out of last week saw a likely rematch being set up between John Cena and Umaga for the Raw World Title, and Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. That’s a rather nice tradition for the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going and we’ve got a contract signing. Boss Jonathan Coachman brings out Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada and Umaga turns the chair over in a hurry. Coach has an idea to make the match special, so Estrada gets to pick the stipulation. Estrada doesn’t want another fluke win, so we’ll be having a Last Man Standing match.

Since Umaga is, you know, a savage, Estrada signs for him, but Cena says he must be crazy to do this. Well sure why not, so Cena signs and then dives onto Umaga to start the fight. They go to the floor and Cena hits him in the head with the steps. Back in and the FU puts Estrada through the table. Counting the King video and the opening, we are done with this segment about ten minutes into the show. I can absolutely go with that kind of efficiency for a contract signing.

Johnny Nitro/Melina vs. Jeff Hardy/Maria

Maria doing Jeff’s entrance dance is certainly a sight. Nitro bails from the threat of an early Twist of Fate attempt so it’s off to Melina. Maria comes in and bulldogs her out of the corner for two but Nitro trips her from the apron. We hit the reverse chinlock to put Maria down for a change but she counters a backbreaker into a headscissors. It’s off to Nitro so Maria kicks him in the shin, allowing Jeff to hit the Whisper in the Wind. Maria takes Melina outside, leaving Jeff to break up a superplex attempt. The Swanton is good for the pin on Nitro.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but it was a fine way to advance both feuds, even if the men should have wrapped up. Maria isn’t going to be a serious competitor in the ring but at least she can do enough basic stuff to get by in something like this. Let the experienced people get in and do their thing and get out, which is exactly what they did here.

Vince McMahon calls Donald Trump but Trump’s secretary, who doesn’t know who Vince is, says he is having dinner. Vince starts to give out the number but looks at Coach and stops himself. Coach doesn’t seem to buy that Trump is going to call back.

Here is Rated-RKO for a chat but DX’s music interrupts them. The music turns into a flatline sound though, with Randy Orton saying that is what is happening to DX. Tonight they are taking out Shawn Michaels and HHH is already sitting at home recovering from a torn quadricep muscle.

Orton leaves to take care of something backstage while Edge talks about how Shawn’s TV debut took place near here, so him being destroyed makes sense. Edge goes to check on Orton….and they drag out a bloody Jim Duggan. Since Duggan might help Shawn later, we need a demonstration of what Shawn has coming for him. Duggan gets a Conchairto and here are the referees, just a few seconds late of course.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

How many times are these guys going to fight??? Flair takes him into the corner for the chops to start and there’s a headlock takeover. Dykstra fights up and gets in a shot to Flair’s knee, setting up a Figure Four of his own. That’s broken up and Flair chops away before cutting off a charge with an elbow to the face. Flair goes up and actually hits something like a top rope clothesline for two. JR: “I think we just saw a moment!” Dykstra is right back with a rollup but gets caught grabbing the rope. Flair’s rollup with trunks gets two so he tries another and, this time with putting his feet on the ropes, gets the pin.

Rating: C-. And they’re done. Or at least they should be, as this feud has already gone on far too long. Flair took him to school here and got his win back. Now let the whole thing go and move on to anything else, because it wasn’t exactly an interesting feud in the first place. Dykstra is as midcard of a midcard heel as you can get so let’s move on to something else already.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shawn Michaels arrives and is told about what happened to Jim Duggan. That’s not what Shawn wanted but he only has one partner. He’ll do this alone tonight, but Ric Flair comes in to say he’ll fight with Shawn tonight. Shawn shakes his hand but still seems nervous.

Vince McMahon is still waiting on Donald Trump’s call but Coach suggests it might be Vince’s batteries. Vince: “There is nothing wrong with my batteries.” Coach asks Vince what the big deal is and Vince pulls out a letter that Trump sent him last week. The letter talks about how Trump is a big WWE fan but he didn’t like the Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell match last week. Trump will be watching this week and wants something better. Oh and watch the Apprentice on Sunday nights. Coach is a fan, but Vince would rather talk about the compelling television you are about to see.

Wrestlemania is coming in 76 days.

Here is Vince McMahon to give us compelling television and I’m as scared as you are. He knows Donald Trump wants compelling television so let’s look at Rosie vs. Trump from last week. Hold on though as we need to see it in SLOW MOTION. Vince sees a difference between himself and Trump: instead of asking the audience what they want and then giving it to them like Trump, Vince decides what his fans wants and then gives it to them (How in the world is that not a FAR more quoted line?).

Vince moves on to the Miss USA controversy, as she did something that meant she should lose her crown. It turns out that Miss USA is here tonight, so here is Torrie Wilson in a gown. Torrie reluctantly says she has been a bad girl and asks how she can make it up to Vince, America’s Favorite Billionaire.

Cue an angry Carlito to interrupt and say that Vince is not cool. Trump vs. Rosie sucked and this is brutal. Trump was right: Vince doesn’t know what people want and the fans want to see people fight. Vince likes that idea and is ready to go right now…but let’s have Great Khali do it instead. Carlito gets in a few shots until a big chop and the double chokeslam leave him laying. Vince: “Now that? That’s cool.”

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Victoria

Mickie is defending so Victoria pulls her down by the hair. That’s fine enough as Mickie jumps over her in the corner and does the same thing. Mickie gets draped over the top rope so Mickie can throw in a few spanks. That earns Mickie a trip to the floor and a baseball slide takes her out in a hurry. Back in and Victoria tosses her around by the hair and then stands on it for a bonus. Mickie cradles her for two so Victoria pulls on her leg. That’s broken up but the MickieDT is countered into the swinging side slam. Mickie is sick of this and hits a spinning kick to the face to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly their best work as it felt sluggish to go with all of the botches. These two are capable of having a good match because they have the chemistry together, but it just wasn’t clicking this time. This should end the feud, as Mickie can move on to Melina while Victoria can continue to be more talented than most of the women featured on the show.

We recap the contract signing.

Royal Rumble rundown….now with 25 names already entered into the Rumble. There is something to be said for the “throw everyone in at once” method.

Here is Chris Masters for a chat. He is ready for the Royal Rumble and the winner is standing before you. Masters pulls out a note while talking about how no one can break the Masterlock. The note is a signed document from Vince McMahon himself, which says that since JBL interfered in Iraq, the Masterlock has NEVER been broken.

The Masterlock Challenge is on again so here is Ron Simmons of all people to accept. Masters immediately starts backing off but Simmons shoves him down. The hold goes on and, after the usual escape tease….Super Crazy of all people comes in to jump Masters. Simmons watches as Crazy lays Masters out, meaning it’s catchphrase time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Rob Van Dam wins Money in the Bank.

JR confirms that Simmons did NOT break the Masterlock, due to Crazy’s interference.

Ric Flair has been attacked and laid out. Again. What is that, three times since Rated-RKO formed?

JTG vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shad Gaspard and Charlie Haas are here too. Shelton breaks up an early headscissors to start by hitting a shoulder breaker out of the corner. A hammerlock stays on the arm and Shelton sends it hard into the buckle. The referee has to yell at Shad as JTG fights back, only to get kicked in the face. Shad uses the distraction to unhook a turnbuckle pad so Haas complains, allowing Shad to break up a powerbomb attempt to give JTG the pin.

Ric Flair is on his way to the hospital so Shawn Michaels is rather upset. He superkicks Todd Grisham to blow off some steam.

We get a video with HHH talking about his quad injury and surgery. This goes on for a good while.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO

Non-title. Before the match, Rated-RKO mocks DX’s intro and has security confiscate all of the DX signs. Shawn charges in and starts fast by sending both of them out to the floor. We settle down to Edge getting chopped in the corner until he rakes the eyes to escape. Orton comes in and gets hammered down in a hurry. Shawn is sent outside though and Edge blasts him with a running clothesline.

Back in and Edge hammers Shawn down without much effort to bust him open. Orton’s backbreaker lets Edge hammer away even more until we take a break. It’s back to Orton to get in some right hands of his own but Shawn flips over in the corner and nails a clothesline. Edge comes back in and spears Orton by mistake and Shawn has a chance.

The comeback is on with the forearm into the nipup into the atomic drop. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects but he can’t follow up right away. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Shawn has to jump Orton as he comes back in. Edge hits the spear and now it’s time for the chairs so the referee throws it out.

Rating: C. This worked out about as well as it could have as there was only so much that could be done here. Shawn can’t beat the champs on his own but you don’t want them beating Shawn because he has no partner and no real place to go if he loses. It wasn’t a bad match at all, but it was much more about finding a way out than anything else.

Post match the Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn nips it up into Edge’s face which is only slightly better than I remember seeing it live. Shawn fights back and finds the sledgehammer to knock Orton out. A Conchairto is loaded up and Orton is crushed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m glad they have named most of the Royal Rumble entrants but the rest of the show was barely worth seeing. The contract signing worked, but it was one of those shows where it felt like they didn’t have much to do and jumped through the two hours as quickly as they could. While it isn’t a terrible show, it’s a totally skippable one (especially the Trump/Vince stuff), which tends to be the case until we get to the Rumble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 14, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and there are only four matches set for the card. In theory we should be getting more matches announced this week, but WWE has a habit of leaving some of the build until the very end at times. On top of that, we have the continuing adventures of Lily the evil doll. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Alexa Bliss recapping the Lily/Shayna Baszler incident from last week. Bliss has put Lily in time out this week but she will see Shayna on Sunday. Nia Jax comes in and says they used to be friends but now Bliss needs to leave Shayna alone. Bliss laughs it off and Nia challenges her for tonight. The match is made as I try to figure out why Jax isn’t beating Bliss senseless when she is right in front of her.

We recap Nikki Cross’ technical wins over Rhea Ripley and Charlotte.

Charlotte is ready to get rid of Cross to move on to Rhea Ripley on Sunday.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

The bell rings and here is Rhea Ripley 14 seconds in to watch from the stage. Cross rolls her up for one but gets kneed out to the floor, where Charlotte kicks her into the barricade. Back from a break with Charlotte hitting a clothesline but shouting down to Ripley. Some chops put Cross in the corner but she fights back for a change. Charlotte knocks her outside in a heap and gets in a few more shots….but stops to yell at Ripley and gets counted out at 7:50.

Rating: D. So we have an extended squash until Charlotte slips on a banana peel to give Cross the fluke win. That would be another win which means absolutely nothing for her but maybe WWE can treat her like something anyway. This was better than the fifteen minutes we got last week, so call it a slight upgrade? Maybe?

Post match Charlotte jumps Cross but Ripley makes the save with Riptide.

Jeff Hardy tells Riddle to respect his elders in the tag division and listen to Randy Orton. Hardy has a match with John Morrison tonight and freaks Riddle out with the double eyes. Riddle goes on a long bit about what he would do with four arms but Hardy leaves. Orton comes in to offer some advice, so Riddle asks if Orton likes him. Orton: “No.”

John Morrison vs. Jeff Hardy

Miz joins commentary and Morrison gets in a Drip Stick shot to put Hardy in early trouble. A cartwheel clothesline drops Hardy again…and here is Cedric Alexander. Hardy grabs a rollup for two and gets a boot up in the corner. A splash gives Hardy two and they fight to the apron with Morrison dropping him throat first across the top rope. Starship Pain finishes Hardy at 2:50.

Post break Cedric goes on a rant about how Hardy beat him last week but acted like a sore winner. The only think he’ll apologize for is not putting Hardy in a retirement home. Hardy grabs the mic and says he’ll retire if Cedric can beat him right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Cedric starts in on the knee, including a dragon screw legwhip over the ropes. The half crab doesn’t last long as Hardy sends him into the corner for a slingshot dropkick. Alexander is back with a Michinoku Driver for two but misses his own Swanton. The Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton to finish Alexander at 2:49. What a random match and use of Alexander.

We recap the setup of Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley inside the Cell.

Naomi vs. Eva Marie

Graves is downright giddy for the return. Or not as Eva brings out the unnamed Piper Niven to wrestle in her place.

Naomi vs. Piper Niven

Due to “it’s NXT UK”, commentary has no idea who Niven is. Niven runs her over to start and hits a release World’s Strongest Slam. A backsplash into a Michinoku Driver gives Niven the squash win at 36 seconds.

Post match, Eva announcers herself as the winner. That’s rather curious.

Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose were having a photo shoot but got distracted by Natalya and Tamina training in a ring. They got in an argument about looks vs. skills and a brawl broke out. Referee break it up.

Drew McIntyre dubs Bobby Lashley as Trashley but for tonight, the focus is on AJ Styles. The Scottish are known for their strategies though and we hear about William Wallace. Now what does this have to do with facing Lashley? Drew: “Nothing. I just love that story!” He’ll win on Sunday.

New Day vs. RKBro

Riddle has to keep the scooter slow so Orton can keep up with him, while also singing Orton’s song. Riddle chokes Woods to start but gets dropped onto Kofi’s knee for an atomic drop. Woods works on the arm but it’s off to Orton for a fight over a top wristlock. It’s off to Kofi for a frog splash crossbody and New Day clears the ring as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a running forearm but getting caught with a jumping knee.

Orton grabs the armbar and it’s back to Riddle to try for a cross armbreaker. With that not working, Orton comes back in to stomp away. We hit the chinlock again with Woods fighting up and bringing Kofi in to clean house. The jumping clothesline drops Orton to set up the Boom Drop but a quick tag brings in Riddle to kick away. A ripcord knee sets up the Floating Bro for two on Kofi and we take a break.

Back with Woods crotching Riddle on top and hitting a superplex. Kofi’s frog splash gets two but Orton dives in for the save. Riddle’s small package gets two on Kofi and he northern lights suplexes Woods for the same. An assisted powerbomb (ala two thirds of the Shield) gets two more on Woods but Kofi saves him from the hanging DDT.

Orton gets knocked into the corner and it’s back to Riddle, who can’t muscle Woods up for an apron German suplex. Instead Woods takes him into an electric chair for a top rope double stomp (making it a modified Doomsday Device) for a very near fall. Orton tags himself in but can’t hit the RKO on Woods. He can however counter the Honor Roll into the RKO for the pin on Woods at 21:43.

Rating: B. This would be your latest exhibit of proof that Raw does know how to do some good things. It was a long, well built match with some good drama all the way to the ending. This match has been built up for a few weeks now and then they paid it off with a good match. Watching things like this makes the horrible stuff that much more frustrating but I’ll take what I can get here.

We look at Charlotte screwing up against Nikki Cross earlier.

Rhea Ripley thinks Charlotte is obsessed with her. After Sunday, Charlotte is going to the back of the line. She has to face Asuka tonight though so the interview is over.

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title. Asuka grabs a headlock to start and sends Ripley into the corner, meaning it’s time to dance. Ripley gets two off a crucifix and hits Asuka in the face, only to get pulled into an Octopus. That’s broken up as well so Asuka strikes away again before avoiding a running dropkick in the corner. They fight outside with Asuka being dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Asuka hitting a middle rope missile dropkick and sending them into a strike off. A knee to the face gives Asuka two and the hip attack gets the same. Ripley grabs a northern lights suplex for the same but Asuka is back with a running kick to the face. A YES Kick is countered into some knees to Asuka’s chest and the Prism Trap goes on. That is reversed into a faceplant but the Asuka Lock is countered into the Riptide to finish Asuka at 10:47.

Rating: B-. These two beat each other up pretty well and it made for a rather solid match. I’m not wild on Asuka lose again, especially in a match that we have seen over and over, but at least it was a long enough, competitive one. Ripley needed some momentum on the way to the title match and this worked as well as anything else could.

Post match here is Charlotte to go after Ripley and the brawl is on until security breaks it up. They keep going after each other and Charlotte’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Good as usual, but both of these two need to move on.

MVP does not like Kevin Patrick trying to interview Bobby Lashley. The champ isn’t working tonight because he is the WWE Champion, but he does promise to publicly execute Drew on Sunday.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

This is Bliss’ first regular Raw match since February. Bliss kicks away to start and chokes away in the corner. After a creepy spider walk, Bliss avoids a running kick in the corner and hammers away. Jax runs her over for a change and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a running clothesline takes Bliss down but she sits up to avoid the legdrop. That means a glare into the camera and a kick to Jax’s head. Cue Reginald for a distraction but Bliss dropkicks Jax’s knees out instead. A short DDT sets up Twisted Bliss but Reginald comes in for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to make of this as Bliss has been successful, but there is a certain level of disbelief you have to reach to accept her cutting Jax down like this. The ending didn’t help as it involved Reginald, but Bliss being back in the ring is not the worst thing. Now her being a mini Undertaker/Fiend hybrid…..egads man.

Post match Bliss glares at Reginald and, with the force of a thousand camera cuts…..Bliss just walks away when Nia gets up.

MVP is talking to New Day and suggests that Kofi Kingston is losing because Xavier Woods is the weak link. New Day doesn’t want to hear it and Kofi gives a fired up speech about how his friends helped get him here. MVP wishes him luck on Sunday….but then remembers Kofi doesn’t have a match on the show. Woods: “Kick rocks dude.” Kofi seems ok.

Jaxson Ryker vs. Elias

Earlier today, Ryker said Elias was holding him back. I’m thinking it’s the fact that he’s Jaxson Ryker. Elias goes right at him to start but gets clotheslined down. The chops in the corner have Elias rocked and something like a spinebuster drops him again. They head outside with Elias getting posted….and taking the countout at 2:28.

Video on the Cell.

Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles

Bobby Lashley, MVP and the ladies sit on the couches on the stage while Omos is here with Styles. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start but AJ comes back chopping away. A big chop is blocked and a heck of a backdrop has AJ in more trouble. Futureshock connects but McIntyre stops to glare at Lashley, allowing Omos to pull AJ outside. Cue the Viking Raiders and we take a break.

Back with Styles being sent hard into the corner and getting caught with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Styles manages to send him outside in a heap and, back in, cuts off a charge with some raised boots. The chinlock slows McIntyre down a bit but he jawbreaks his way to freedom.

McIntyre fights up with some elbows to the face for two and a Michinoku Driver (third tonight) gets the same. McIntyre’s superplex is countered though and Styles fireman’s carries him onto the knee for two of his own. Back up and McIntyre drops him with a shot to the face but goes outside to jump Lashley. McIntyre heads inside but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 13:31.

Rating: C+. This was getting a little better by the time it was wrapping up, but I don’t think there was much of a surprise to be had once everyone came out to ringside. Not giving AJ vs. McIntyre a definitive ending is a good thing as this could have been a big time match later, so save something for the future.

Post match the big brawl is on, with Lashley being suplexed on the floor.

Bobby Lashley/AJ Styles/Omos vs. Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders

This starts as a handicap match as Lashley is in the back changing out of street clothes. Ivar takes AJ into the corner and it’s Erik coming in to crush him for two. Cue Lashley to run down the ramp and send McIntyre hard into the barricade. Lashley comes in to hammer on Erik but it’s right back to AJ…who brings Omos in to knee Erik in the corner. A Downward Spiral plants Erik and Lashley goes after McIntyre, but the distraction allows the tag back to Ivar.

The pace picks up as Ivar flips away from Lashley but charges into a spinebuster. It’s back to Omos so Ivar comes up swinging, only to get shouldered down. We take a break and come back with Lashley unloading on Ivar in the corner and grabbing a neck crank. Ivar fights up but gets taken down again, setting up a chinlock from AJ. That’s broken up and we get the double tag to set up Omos vs. McIntyre.

Omos chokes him down but McIntyre comes up with right hands. Styles tags himself in but gets caught in some overhead belly to belly suplexes. Everything breaks down and Erik dives at Omos on the floor….where he is tossed into the timekeeper’s area. AJ intentionally (Maybe?) avoids tagging Omos to tag in Lashley instead, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill main event six man here and that is not a bad thing. McIntyre pinning Lashley works to set up their title match, though I’m not sure I buy McIntyre’s chances at getting the title back. The Raiders vs. AJ/Omos hasn’t been officially set so far so it’s cool for their match to not get the most focus. Good enough main event here, though nothing you haven’t seen before.

McIntyre promises to see Lashley in h*** to end the show.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte via countout
John Morrison b. Jeff Hardy – Starship Pain
Jeff Hardy b. Cedric Alexander – Swanton Bomb
Piper Niven b. Naomi – Michinoku Driver
RKBro b. New Day – RKO to Woods
Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide
Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax via DQ when Reginald interfered
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias via countout
Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered
Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders b. AJ Styles/Omos/Bobby Lashley – Claymore to Lashley

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it is just how bad things have been in recent weeks or if they actually made some adjustments but this was a FAR better show than anything in recent memory. Nothing on here was completely horrible and even the worst stuff didn’t overstay its welcome. They build up some stuff for the pay per view and even added a new match while adding in some new stuff. The show is not great by any means but after weeks of some of the worst shows ever, this was an absolute breath of fresh air.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 2007
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after New Year’s Revolution and things have changed a bit. That bit would be HHH tearing his quadricep again during the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match. Odds are that is going to shake up a good amount of the show as we head towards Wrestlemania. Other than that, John Cena retained the World Title over Umaga with a quick rollup. We’re less than a month away from the Royal Rumble too so let’s get to it.

Here is New Year’s Revolution if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match, with HHH blowing out his leg but managing to beat up Rated-RKO after the match anyway.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. The sighing is going to be strong with this one.

Here is John Cena to get thing going. After taking a few moments, Cena quietly says the champ is here. Cena: “You know what really yanks my noodle?” Before Cena left the building last night, Armando Alejandro Estrada was on WWE.com saying Umaga lost in a fluke. Last night, Cena took a beating for thirty minutes (17:20 by my notes) but he doesn’t know what Estrada means by a fluke. Cena is thinking about giving Umaga a rematch tonight but that might be the concussion talking.

Since this is where Cena made his Raw debut, he polls the fans on said rematch taking place. Cue Coach instead, and tonight Umaga is getting the night off. Cena doesn’t buy that and is expecting to be jumped on he way to the car or in the….Cena: “Never mind.”. Coach doesn’t like Cena’s attitude but he has an idea for tonight. See, contracts expire, so Cena can face Raw’s newest acquisition. Cue the Great Khali for the staredown but Coach backs the monster off.

Video on Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump, as they have been feuding in the media for a good while. Sounds like wrestling time to me.

Vince McMahon talks about how there are matches which reshape the wrestling world, such as Sammartino vs. Graham, Hogan vs. Andre and Austin vs. The Rock. Tonight, it’s “the Brash Billionaire vs. the Left Leaning Lesbian!”. Vince has a cake and here is “Rosie” (played by indy wrestler Kiley McLean, who ever did anything) to be rather annoying. She’s happy with the cake (Rosie: “It’s my fudgey!”), which she thinks could have been colder. Vince: “You are what you eat.” She’ll devour Trump tonight too. This is dumber than it sounds, though I’m sure those TNA chants are just a figment of Vince’s imagination.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Kenny Dykstra

Jeff is defending and banged up from the cage match last night. Dykstra hammers him in the back but Jeff is right back with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. That’s enough to send Dykstra to the floor for a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Dykstra hitting a neckbreaker and a pair of clotheslines for one. A jumping back elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. Jeff fights up for the Whisper in the Wind and a kick to the chest takes Dykstra out of the air. Cue Johnny Nitro to yell at Jeff but Ric Flair comes in to low blow Dykstra. The Twist of Fate and Swanton retain the title.

Rating: C-. That should set up a tag match as Flair vs. Dykstra continues. The match wasn’t much to see but for a pretty quick TV title defense, it worked out well. Dykstra continues to be a mostly average heel but Hardy getting a win should be fine. I’m not sure how much Hardy vs. Nitro needs to continue, but the matches, both singles and tags, should be good.

Rosie, with a muffin, likes the idea of going into the Divas locker room.

Earlier today, HHH went to see Dr. James Andrews and the surgery is tomorrow. He’s going to be out 4-6 months.

Rosie shows Maria and Candice Michelle vacation photos while looking at various parts of them. After Rosie leaves, Maria thinks Rosie liked her outfit. Candice agrees, though at least she seems to get it. This is the beat you over the head with the joke portion of the show.

Video on Great Khali being a monster.

Great Khali says….I’m assuming something about John Cena.

More on Rosie vs. Trump.

Victoria/Melina vs. Maria/Mickie James

Mickie takes Melina down by the arm to start and it’s off to Maria for the Bronco Buster. Maria gets taken into the corner so Victoria can beat her up a bit. Melina grabs a headscissors on the mat and a double hair takedown drops Maria again. Mickie dives onto Victoria but Melina runs the corner with a bulldog (the Extreme Makeover) to finish Maria.

“Trump”, played by Ace Steel, gets his hair ready.

Wrestlemania Recall: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. This is missing from Peacock for some reason.

Vince McMahon comes out to introduce the real main event, including Rosie O’Donnell with “all her lesbianic fury.”

Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump

Let’s get this over with. They talk trash to each other, mainly about food, and the referee actually gives instructions. The bell rings and Rosie has to go outside for some more fudge cake. The booing starts in a hurry and Trump gets shoved down into the corner. Trump takes his jacket off as the fans think this match sucks. Rosie shoulders him down and then does it again, followed by a Thesz press.

The fans find it boring and Rosie does the Hogan hand to the ear, drawing some TNA chants. Trump gets sent head first into the buckle but the hair blocks the impact. A headbutt sets up a failed slam attempt and Rosie falls on top for two. Trump goes outside to pick up the cake (Trump: “Come on fatty!”) and pushes it into Rosie’s face. The middle rope hairbutt (yes hairbutt) gives Trump the pin.

Rating: F. I’m not going to waste your time explaining why this wasn’t funny or how badly the fat/lesbian jokes come off because those things are obvious. This was WAY before Trump gained the reputation he has today and was still just little more than a punchline in wrestling, making this one of the more goofy topical things that Raw did. That’s not why this is an F though.

The F is for Federline, who did the celebrity deal SO much better last week. Federline was a punchline at this point and it made sense that people wanted to see him get beaten up. After Federline messed with Cena a few times, Cena destroyed him and stood tall with Federline (mostly) never being seen again. Federline was a fine heel and the whole thing wound up working.

This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t smart and it wasn’t anything original. This was “hey these two don’t like each other so here’s a long segment saying that this is a thing that exists”. What’s the joke here? Trump has hair and Rosie likes cake? Those are the most tired, worn out punchlines for these two as you could ask for and they aren’t clever. This was going for the easiest joke in the world with no effort put in and two celebrities who couldn’t shut up about each other being a thing in the news. Terrible stuff and one of the biggest wastes of time Raw has ever seen.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Rematch from last night where Masters won. Carlito starts fast with a crossbody but Masters takes him into the corner and stomps away. Cue Torrie Wilson with the dog as Masters whips Carlito into various corners to set up a clothesline. The bearhug is broken up with some elbows so Masters grabs a powerslam for two. That means the bearhug can go on again but Carlito breaks it up again. This time it’s broken up with Masters being sent to the apron, where Torrie hits him with the bell. The Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with nothing going on that we haven’t seen a bunch of times before. Carlito vs. Masters isn’t exactly a thrilling feud but it keeps going on time after time. Torrie interfering to cost Masters the win makes sense here, though unfortunately it is probably going to set up another match between them. The fact that the previous ones weren’t all that great doesn’t make it any better but that’s Raw for you.

More from DX vs. Rated-RKO.

Here is Rated-RKO, with Edge limping and Randy Orton in a neck brace. We see a clip of HHH promising to destroy Rated-RKO, with Orton saying DX kept their word. Last night though, Edge promised to end DX, which Orton says was like losing a battle to win a war. They spilled a lot of blood, but HHH tore his quadricep. Last night, they took out DX, like no one else could.

Edge talks about the people who tried and failed to take out DX (Edge:” Spirit Squad? Please.”) but they did it. Well half of it, because next week, they are facing Shawn Michaels in a handicap match. Next week, they pull the plug, and DX is finally dead. Cue Shawn to say this might be the end of DX because his best friend is undergoing surgery tomorrow. Shawn is going to be there, and then he’ll deal with Rated-RKO. Kind of a weak segment, but they had to throw everything out on a day’s notice.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme

Shad headlocks Cade to start but gets double teamed down as we hear about how Rosie wore a watch in their match. The beatdown is on until Shad powers his way over to the corner for the hot tag to JTG. That means house can be cleaned, including a dropkick into a backdrop into a missile dropkick. The turnbuckle pad gets pulled off somewhere in there and Shad sends Murdoch into the steel to give JTG the pin.

Rating: D+. Another not too great match here with Cryme Tyme establishing pretty much the same thing that they did last night. It can help to have them get another win, but at some point they need to have a match that actually matters. Not the worst match, but it felt like a way to fill five minutes.

This Week In WWE History: Raw debuts. That’s worth a mention.

More Rosie vs. Trump clips. We’ve suffered enough, though hearing the TNA chants again helps. JR: “A man covering Rosie! Imagine that!” Screw off with that Vince line straight into JR’s ear.

Rosie is crying so Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase. She cries more.

Jerry Lawler interviews Vladimir Kozlov, who thinks Rosie vs. Trump was funny. Oh and he can beat John Cena and Great Khali.

Eugene is excited for the main event but gets scared of Khali.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Non-title and Armando Alejandro Estrada is on commentary. Cena circles around and gets in a right hand but is knocked outside in a hurry. Back in and Cena’s running forearm to the chest has no effect. Instead, Khali hits an elbow in the corner as Estrada grabs a chair. Cena takes said chair and blasts Khali for the fast DQ.

Post match, Khali chops Cena down without a problem. Khali leaves and here is Umaga to destroy Cena again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty horrible, with the show being centered around one of the dumber ideas that the company has done in a good while. The main idea was just horrible and the rest of the show wasn’t much better, leaving the show as quite the mess. The only important thing set up was Umaga vs. Cena II, with the Royal Rumble not being mentioned. This was all about Rosie vs. Trump though, and that is all but a guaranteed way to waste a week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Hell In A Cell and that means it is time to start finishing up the build. This includes a contract signing between Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre, which is a trope we haven’t seen in at least a few weeks. Other than that, Shayna Baszler continues her issues with an evil doll. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

A bunch of tag teams (and Lince Dorado, as Gran Metalik is injured) are in the ring for a #1 contenders battle royal. With that being so serious, cue AJ Styles and Omos to watch. AJ talks about how WWE is going to be back on the road next month and they are going to defend the titles against the best Raw has to offer. AJ: “And uh, WOW!”

We hear about how AJ and Omos could take care of all of the teams (or just Lince Dorado, as Gran Metalik is injured), save for RKBro. AJ talks about how great Orton is but Omos uses various adjectives to describe how great they are. New Day doesn’t think much of it and Riddle talks about wearing two snake shirts. One is designed by his Uncle Ron because he used to have a snake named Mr. Slithers…..so Orton tells him to zip it.

The invisible key is put in his boot so AJ asks if anyone else has anything to say. Cue Miz and John Morrison with the former in a wheelchair to say the tag division has gotten boring. Not to worry though, as Morrison is going to wrestle on his own. Morrison wheels Miz to the ring but stops to pose and lets Miz slide down the ramp in a funny bit.

Tag Team Battle Royal

RKBro, New Day, Viking Raiders, Mace/T-Bar, Lince Dorado, John Morrison

Both members have to be eliminated. Before the bell, Orton hits an RKO to both members of New Day and Dorado to send us to a break. We come back with….a look at Bobby Lashley and MVP with their women in the back and an ad for the contract signing. Back in the arena, we get the opening bell, meaning the three RKO’s had pretty much no impact. Dorado has to save himself to start and Morrison is sent over the top but hooks his feet in the ropes for the save.

Miz throws him the Drip Stick to spray Dorado and get rid of him in a hurry. Mace and T-Bar aren’t as vulnerable to the stick as they get rid of Morrison in a hurry. A double chokeslam plants New Day but Riddle saves Orton from being tossed. We get the Viking Raiders vs. Mace/T-Bar showdown but New Day jumps both of them and Mace/T-Bar are tossed. Back from a break with New Day, the Raiders and RKBro still in and Riddle kicking away at the Raiders.

The German suplex/springboard clothesline combination is enough to get rid of Riddle so New Day unloads on Ivar. Erik is back up to clothesline Woods out and the shotgun knees put Kingston into the corner. Ivar is driven into Kofi in the corner but Orton is back up to go after both Vikings. Erik tries to slam Ivar onto Orton but Kofi comes off the top with a double stomp to the back to break it up. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise…..and Riddle comes in to take the shot instead of Orton. The distraction lets Orton throw out Kofi and the Vikings toss Orton for the win at 10:31.

Rating: D+. The ending was a nice surprise but it’s a bad sign that your tag division is so thin that you can have two singles wrestlers and four teams with the champs (and their less than five matches together ever) involved in the same match. Miz was right when he said it was dry, but that has been the case for years now. They aren’t going to fix it, but at least the Raiders getting a shot is something new.

We look at Nikki Cross surviving two minutes last week, which somehow counts as a win.

Charlotte comes up to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville and asks for the loss to be removed from her record. That won’t happen, but Charlotte can have a rematch. Rhea Ripley comes up to say she wants one of her now it’s going to be a tag match with the two of them teaming up against Cross and a partner of her choosing. Charlotte says she can be professional about this and Rhea…stands there as we go to a break. This is one of the dumbest things going in WWE today and that is covering a lot of ground.

The Raiders are happy with their win and want to go get dinner. AJ Styles and Omos, carrying a turkey leg, come in to say the Raiders are wannabe Vikings. The champs mock the Raiders’ vikingness and Omos eats some turkey.

We recap Alexa Bliss going all evil and insane, allegedly thanks to the Fiend but really thanks to Lily. This has been another stupid Raw story.

Here is Elias to talk about how much Jaxson Ryker has hurt things. We see Elias turning on him last week because Ryker had the ghosts of war in his eyes. Elias hits his catchphrase but here is Ryker from behind (now with shorter hair and American flag trunks) to take him out. Referees break it up but worry not because we’re still getting that sweet Elias vs. Ryker action.

Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker

Ryker jumps him to start, with Smith saying that both of them are going to war. The beatdown is on with Elias being knocked outside. Back in and Elias gets in a few shots of his own but Ryker runs him over again. The spinebuster is enough to send Elias running off for the countout at 2:03. Ryker as a face with the military stuff is going to be really, really hard to take.

We look back at Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston from last week with McIntyre becoming #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Nikki Cross is excited about her success as of late and she has a partner for tonight. She even has a superhero cape and it’s…..Asuka. Sure why not.

Ricochet vs. Humberto Carrillo

The winner gets a future US Title shot against Sheamus, who is sitting at ringside with his broken nose. Before the match (of course), Sheamus complains about his injury and how this isn’t fair so Carrillo teases kicking him in the face. Ricochet knocks Carrillo outside and we go to a break before the bell. Joined in progress with Ricochet hammering away in the corner and Sheamus on commentary.

They forearm it out as Sheamus complains about his good looks being ruined. A powerbomb gives Carrillo two and they head to the apron, with Carrillo knocking him to the floor. Carrillo hits the big suicide dive but Ricochet is back with a kick to the face back inside. They head to the apron again for a chop off until Carrillo snaps off a Spanish Fly out to the floor for a double knockdown…and a double countout at 5:03.

Rating: C+. I was trying to praise this story as a way to get some people involved who have been siting around on Main Event for too long and then they do this. They’re going to do a triple threat at the pay per view and they have the pieces in place. So why do we need to have a second countout in less than an hour? Just make the match you know you’re going to make and stop dragging it out every chance you have. Why is that so complicated?

MVP comes up to New Day in the back and says Kofi Kingston impressed him last week. Two years ago, MVP was in tears when Kofi won the WWE Title and brings up the Deep South Wrestling days. MVP talks about how Kofimania ended with a whimper and this is still a business. Kofi doesn’t want to hear it because this isn’t about money. This is about inspiring people while Lashley fights for money. MVP: “Lashley fights for the WWE Championship.” MVP leaves and Kofi seems to be thinking about thinking about something.

The Eva-lution is here next week.

Mansoor is getting ready for his match with Drew Gulak when Mustafa Ali comes up. Ali laughs off the idea that Mansoor is ready, which he insists he is. Ali asks what Mansoor is going to do when Gulak pokes him in the eye or cheats. Uh, the same stuff he’s done in the 14 times he’s beaten Gulak on Main Event?

Jeff Hardy doesn’t like Cedric Alexander being disrespectful.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Hardy starts fast as commentary explains the difference between Hardy and Shelton Benjamin: Shelton will throw you through a wall to win a match but Hardy will throw himself through a wall to end a match. Have commentary say more things like that than the nonsense they usually say. Cedric hits a dropkick and sends Hardy into the corner, setting up a boot rub to the face.

Hardy manages to kick him out to the floor but Cedric is back in to cut off a dive. The chinlock goes on but Hardy fights up and manages a headscissors out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Cedric hits a quick suplex for two. Alexander goes up and mocks Hardy’s pose, allowing Hardy to catch him with the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes Cedric at 6:03.

Rating: C. These are two guys from North Carolina who had a match on Raw. I’m not sure what else there is to say here, though the old vs. new idea worked well enough. Cedric is another guy who could be a little something but here he is losing to Jeff Hardy in 2021. Maybe we get a rematch down the line to give us some 50/50 booking, but you never can tell with these people.

Hardy mocks Cedric post match.

Charlotte tells Rhea Ripley to follow her lead but Ripley sees it differently.

Nikki Cross/Asuka vs. Charlotte/Rhea Ripley

Charlotte lets Rhea start so she can take Cross down, followed by a quick tag to Asuka. A headbutt rocks Asuka but she is right back with the Black Widow, which is broken up just as fast. Charlotte comes in for a slam and cartwheels her way out of a wristlock. Rhea gets knocked outside though and Charlotte goes out to mock her. They get in a fight of their own and we take a break. Back with Ripley hitting Cross in the head as Charlotte continues to yell from the apron.

Charlotte comes in to kick away at Cross and we hit the chinlock. It’s back to Ripley to wave at Charlotte during a delayed vertical suplex for two. Cross misses an enziguri so Charlotte picks her up, with Cross’ feet knocking Ripley to the floor. Ripley comes back in but gets bulldogged down, allowing the hot tag to Asuka. A running knee gets two on Rhea and Cross’ middle rope crossbody gets the same, with Charlotte making the save. The Rhea vs. Charlotte fight is on (because EVERY MATCH LIKE THIS ENDS THE SAME WAY) and Charlotte hits Natural Selection on Rhea. Cross comes in to steal the pin at 14:22.

Rating: D. I lost track of the amount of heavy sighs during this match because it wasn’t about being entertaining. This was about spending as much time as they could setting up the most obvious ending in the world. Anyone who has ever watched wrestling knew how that was going to end and they took almost fifteen minutes to get there. Cross isn’t getting anything out of this, but at least Ripley got to take ANOTHER fall while Charlotte looks like the smartest person in the division.

Asuka and Cross dance on the announcers’ table to celebrate.

Alexa Bliss says Shayna Baszler is wrong about Lily. Tonight, the Playground is going to be a scream.

Mansoor vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak wastes no time in taking him down to start. That means something like a half crab but Mansoor fights up to grab a rollup. Gulak does the same and tries grabbing the tights, only to have Mansoor reverse into one of his own for the pin at 2:24.

Randy Orton hands Riddle the key to his mouth and it turns into a commercial for Burger King. Riddle goes too far with the ideas though and Orton locks his mouth again. Then Orton drops the key in the trash.

Riddle vs. Kofi Kingston

Xavier Woods is at ringside as Riddle throws Kingston around to start. The Broton gets two and it’s time for Woods to play the trombone. Riddle: “Not now Bro!” Kofi fires off the chops and here is Randy Orton, with Kofi dropkicking him through the ropes to save Woods. A dropkick sends Riddle outside and Woods starts playing the trombone again. Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table so Kofi dives onto Orton and Riddle as we take a break.

Back with Riddle hitting the running forearms in the corner and a PK drops Kingston again. Kingston is back up and tries the run the corner into a spinning hurricanrana but can’t quite finish it because that’s kind of a nutty move. The slingshot Vader Bomb gets two and the top rope splash to the standing Riddle’s back connects for the same.

Riddle sends him outside and then knocks him off the apron for a bonus. This time a fired up Riddle follows him out and unloads with strikes, followed by an Orton hanging DDT back inside. Orton: “FINISH HIM!” Riddle’s RKO is countered but he avoids Trouble in Paradise. Kofi is back up and Trouble in Paradise connects for the pin at 12:08.

Rating: B-. I heartily approve of Kofi getting ring time against talented opponents for good matches like the last two weeks. This was another pretty awesome match and that shouldn’t be a surprise. Orton and Riddle continue to be one of the few gems around here and I heartily endorse them facing New Day, probably at the pay per view.

We recap Reginald beating Shayna Baszler last week, with Baszler then jumping him at Alexa’s Playground and calling Lily a stupid doll.

Shayna Baszler runs into Nia Jax, who says she knows things have been messy as of late. They get in an argument over Reginald, with Baszler saying she isn’t worried about the stupid little blonde with a doll.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t sure what to do with this one because there is definitely good stuff on here. Some of the wrestling was good and the contract signing did exactly what it needed to do. Throw in the good main event and a few other pieces and this show would have been a pretty easy success.

Then you have everything involving a woman tonight. To be clear, this is absolutely not on the wrestlers themselves. The Raw women’s division has some amazing talent and if they are left alone, their matches are rather solid most of the time. The problem with this division is completely in how it is presented, because there has not been a serious thing in months.

Instead, we’re getting more of the Charlotte Show, as she gets to not only talk down to Ripley every chance she can, but also be presented as a far bigger deal in the division. Their feud isn’t interesting and it hasn’t been in a long time, mainly because WWE has given us nothing to care about. Tonight’s match was about as lazy of an idea as you could have and for some reason it was one of the longest things on the show. At least try to do something fresh for once?

And then there is the huge monster in the room, as the main event segment was about an evil doll and Shayna Baszler being in a horror movie (after losing to a wine expert acrobat last week). This is the kind of thing that gives WWE the reputation it has today and it’s the kind of thing that I would be embarrassed to be seen watching. I’m not sure if this is continuing when fans are back, but I kind of hope it does, just to hear how loud the bottoms of the seats clanging when people walk out can be.

Results
Viking Raiders won a tag team battle royal last eliminating Randy Orton
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias via countout
Ricochet vs. Humberto Carrillo went to a double countout
Jeff Hardy b. Cedric Alexander – Swanton Bomb
Nikki Cross/Asuka b. Charlotte/Rhea Ripley – Natural Selection to Ripley
Mansoor b. Drew Gulak – Rollup
Kofi Kingston b. Riddle – Trouble In Paradise

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