IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 30, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the fallout show from the Greatest Royal Rumble but also the go home show for Backlash. The pay per view’s card is starting to come together but you can imagine how fast they’ll be adding things tonight and tomorrow. It’s hard to say where we’re going from here but Money in the Bank is already on the horizon. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Greatest Royal Rumble results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Greatest Royal Rumble. That’s impressive given how little happened there.

Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest non-Wrestlemania booing I’ve ever heard for him. The announcers give the “we’re in Canada” disclaimer, even saying this crowd is like the one after Wrestlemania. Reigns says he’s not making any excuses and talks about a tweet from the referee who said he made a mistake at the end of the cage match last week. He should be the Universal Champion but he’s not, yet.

Reigns promises he’ll be champion one day but here’s Samoa Joe on the screen to disagree. Joe promises to put Reigns’ dead career to sleep and here’s Jinder Mahal of all people to say he was cheated out of the United States Title. On Sunday, Reigns will be put to sleep but tonight, he’s losing to the modern day Maharajah. Cue Sami Zayn to the loudest pop of his WWE career with the fans singing his song.

Zayn cites a case of vertigo for not being at the Greatest Royal Rumble but he’s feeling much better tonight. That’s why he’ll be the one to take on Roman Reigns, drawing a heck of a YES chant. Now it’s Kevin Owens coming out to another major face pop (the Fleur-de-Lis version of his KO shirt helps a lot). Owens speaks French and draw a OUI chant, which is made even louder when he says he should face Owens tonight.

The three of the all want to face Reigns so let’s flip a coin. Actually hang on because he doesn’t have a coin and a coin only has two sides. Instead we’ll make it a popularity contest, which seems to be won by Owens. The beatdown is on but here’s Bobby Lashley for the attempted save. Cue Braun Strowman for the real save and we’ve probably got a six man for later.

Here’s Elias for a song, but the fans won’t stop booing him this time around. He asks how many people here watched the Greatest Royal Rumble and the announcement is anemic. Elias calls for silence and goes into a song about how pathetic Bobby Roode and Montreal are but Roode’s music cuts him off.

Bobby Roode vs. Elias

Joined in progress with Roode fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a Blockbuster. Elias rolls to the floor and snaps Roode’s throat across the top as it’s time to go after the neck and throat. We hit a chinlock and it’s time for another of those inset promos for Backlash. So those are now full time? I’m so happy.

Back to full screen with Elias kicking him in the chest for two as we take another break. We come back again with Roode getting two off a spinebuster but the Glorious DDT is countered. Elias gets in another shot to the throat and sends him chest/throat first into the rod connecting the buckle to the ring. Roode is writhing around on the floor with medics out to check on him. Elias declares himself the winner and we’ll say the match ends at 12:20.

Rating: D+. Elias winning is a good idea and I’m very happy to not see 50/50 booking again. They need to do something with Elias already (an Intercontinental Title feud would be nice) and Roode needed to turn heel like forever ago. The heel character isn’t much but that’s what we’re stuck with for whatever reason. The fans like his music I guess?

Roode walked off on his own during the break.

Authors of Pain vs. Jean-Paul/Francois

The jobbers talk about being proud French-Canadians and never back down from a fight. Rezar runs Paul over to start and it’s off to Francois, who gets crushed with a clothesline. The Super Collider and the Last Chapter is good for the pin at 1:05. Exactly what it needed to be.

Post match the Authors promise destruction.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. He talks about defending the Intercontinental Title around the world and the fans cut him off with a loud and long OLE chant, followed by a bunch of cheering. Rollins thanks them in French and the fans go even harder. That was a long trip to Saudi Arabia but he doesn’t want to be the kind of champion that Brock Lesnar is because he wants to be out here every week. Cue Finn Balor to interrupt and introduce himself in French as well.

Balor says they’re 2-2 against each other so let’s have a title match tonight. Rollins talks about facing Miz on Sunday and lets the fans make the decision for him. That’s pretty one sided and the match is on. Cue the Miztourage to say they messed up last week, so this week they have a new idea: a group conversation, which means homemade shirts featuring Rollins and Balor’s faces. A brawl breaks out and Miztourage is cleared out. Balor hits an Eye of the Hurricane on Rollins to a mixed reception.

Ruby Riott vs. Sasha Banks

Before the match, Banks says Bayley isn’t in her corner tonight and that’s unfortunate, but this division still runs out Boss Power. Feeling out process to start with Banks glaring at Ruby, followed by the walk up the corner armdrag. It’s off to the armbar as a sad Bayley is watching in the back.

Sasha gets sent into the corner but comes back with some right hands and a choke in the corner. A forearm puts Banks on the floor and she has to beat up Sarah Logan without much effort. Back from a break with Ruby grabbing a chinlock until Banks makes the comeback. A dropkick allows Sasha to do some shouting but Ruby is right back with a takedown.

Riott goes to the middle rope for a falling backsplash, only to get caught in the Bank Statement. Cue Morgan for a distraction so Logan can make the save, earning Riott a knee to the head against the post. Morgan offers another distraction though, setting up the Riott Kick to give Ruby the pin at 12:32.

Rating: C-. They’re taking their time to set up Banks vs. Bayley, though I’m still not sure where the two of them are supposed to go after that. Either of them vs. Rousey could be interesting on a big stage, but I can’t imagine either of them going after Nia anytime soon. At least the big showdown should be fun.

In another Moment of Bliss, Alexa talks about going to Disney World with Nia Jax, who spent all day making fun of her height. She even asked if Bliss was tall enough for the tea cup ride. “It’s a cup. You sit in a cup!” Then at lunch, Nia made sure Bliss had a kids menu and laughed while holding a turkey leg in each hand. At Backlash, Nia isn’t getting away with all of her horrible tricks. This was hilarious, again.

Titus O’Neil looks at his now infamous fall at the Greatest Royal Rumble. He says it was all a plan and drops the act almost immediately. Titus: “I just fell.” Titus talks about how it’s about getting back up and is ready for what’s next. Baron Corbin comes in and laughs at him, saying that this interview should be with him. Corbin leaves and Titus says it’s cool.

Stills of Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt winning the Raw Tag Team Titles on Friday.

Matt says he and Bray have transcended time and space before screaming. We go to a series of pictures of the two of them at famous moments in history. Bray comes in to say they are the darkness. It will continue to consume anything and the Deleters of Worlds will dominate forever.

We look back at Mickie James attacking Natalya last week, drawing out Ronda Rousey for the save.

Bobby Lashley/Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Jinder Mahal

Reigns and Mahal open things up and the fans just LOATHE Roman. Sami comes in before any contact and the fans are far more entertained. Owens gets the same treatment and it’s back to Sami again, who gets cheered just for kicking Reigns in the ribs. Roman hits a double apron dropkick to send us to a break.

Back with Reigns driving Mahal into the corner so Lashley can come in for some clotheslines. Lashley gets taken into the corner for a stomping from Sami but a neckbreaker gets him out of trouble in short order. Owens comes in to stomp away and prevent the tag and the fans are very pleased.

We hit the chinlock and another inset promo, this time about AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. Back to full screen with the chinlock continuing until Lashley suplexes his way to freedom. Reigns comes in to such a quiet hot tag that I didn’t realize he had come in. Clotheslines in the corner abound and a shot to the face puts Sami in even more trouble. Owens kicks Reigns in the ribs and gets two off a DDT as we take another break.

Back again with Reigns still in trouble, including Owens’ Vader Bomb elbow connecting for two. It’s off to another chinlock for a bit until Reigns gets in a Superman Punch. Jinder decks Lashley off the apron but gets Samoan dropped. Strowman finally comes in and runs Owens over on the floor, just like last week. Sami gets the same treatment but Owens sidesteps a second attempt. That earns him a whip into the barricade, leaving Jinder to send Strowman shoulder first into the post. Reigns spears Mahal and Strowman is right back up to powerslam Owens for the pin at 20:56.

Rating: C. This was the long tag match that you would expect when they’re coming back off a long international tour and everyone (save for Sami) is worn out. At least they went with the most over guy on the team (most of the time at least) getting the pin. Owens and Zayn felt like stars here though and I could go for them as a top face team down the line. Good match here, but you can tell they’re all exhausted.

Video on the Greatest Royal Rumble.

Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose

Corbin says in this business, no one can make money while being funny. Some fans boo but Corbin says it’s cool because they paid to see him. He’s sick of this No Way Jose nonsense and now it’s time to get rid of him once and for all. Jose hammers away to start and staggers Corbin, only to miss a high crossbody. Corbin sends him into the post though and here’s Titus Worldwide for the distraction. Titus starts running to the ring but has Apollo wipe down the spot where he slipped. This time he falls off the apron but the distraction lets Jose roll Corbin up for the pin at 2:40. So Titus’ fall is now costing Corbin matches?

Video on World Wish Day.

Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa Bliss and Ronda Rousey are the seconds. Mickie bails to the floor very quickly but comes back in to eat a basement dropkick for two. Natalya gets sent face first into the middle buckle for two but Mickie gets taken down into a Sharpshooter attempt. That means Alexa offering a distraction so Rousey chases her down, only to have Natalya grab a rollup for a pin at 3:05.

Rating: D+. This was more about the chase on the floor than the match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Integrating Rousey into the division like this is a good idea as you have people out there who can make things that much better if anything does wrong during a match. It’s also nice to have Rousey only get in the big matches too, as putting her in a match on TV like this would be a huge waste of time.

Post match Nia Jax comes out to stare at Bliss before staring Rousey and Natalya down….and then raising their hands.

We run down Sunday’s card.

Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre say they’re awesome and suggest that people run off to Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending. They head outside in a hurry with Rollins nailing the suicide dive into the barricade as we take a very abrupt break. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock until Balor is up with the running forearm. Rollins scores with a Blockbuster but another suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head. I love it when they learn during a match.

A DDT gives Balor two more and the Eye of the Hurricane is good for the same. Rollins is right back up with a jumping knee to the face but Balor kicks him down again. The Coup de Grace is broken up with another kick to the head and Rollins hits the superkick. Rollins’ superplex connects but Finn hits his own Falcon Arrow for a crazy close two.

With both guys spent and the crowd WAY into this, they trade kicks to the head with Rollins going to the floor. Balor adds a running flip dive, followed by the shotgun dropkick back inside. The Coup de Grace misses but so does the Stomp. Balor rolls him up for two and hits (mostly) a Sling Blade. Rollins is back up with a superkick though and the Stomp retains the title at 15:28.

Rating: B+. This took its time to get going but its last six or seven minutes were outstanding. I was thinking they would go with the title change here to set up another triple threat match. They’re doing something good with Rollins here and that could pay off very hard in the long run, especially when he gets back to the main event.

Overall Rating: C. You could tell the guys were tired here and it showed pretty badly. There’s only so much you can do when they’re as exhausted as these people must have been but at least we have a pay per view on Sunday that is being built up at the last second and looks like nothing compared to what we saw on Friday. The main event was very good and worth checking out but for the most part, this was a skippable night.

Results

Elias b. Bobby Roode via referee stoppage

Authors of Pain b. Jean-Paul/Francois – Last Chapter to Francois

Ruby Riott b. Sasha Banks – Riott Kick

Bobby Lashley/Braun Strowman/Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Jinder Mahal – Running powerslam to Owens

No Way Jose b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Natalya b. Mickie James – Small package

Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – The Stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 24, 2003
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Thanksgiving but more importantly tonight is a double shot with HHH challenging Goldberg for the Raw World Title and Raw Roulette all night long. It’s a night of Spin the Wheel Make the Deal, which used to be one of my favorite ideas when I was a kid. Now let’s see how WWE can screw it up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The roulette wheel is in the ring to start, accompanied by Eric Bischoff and a pair of showgirls. Bischoff reiterates that Raw Roulette is taking place because this is such a boring town and explains the concept. We get the first spin for a match to be announced but it’s Shawn Michaels with an interruption instead. Shawn says Bischoff interrupted him last week so this is his way of returning the favor. He’s spent the last week thinking back to Survivor Series and now it’s completely clear: he did the exact right thing. Shawn gave the fight of his life and didn’t cost Austin his job.

Cue Batista to say he cost Austin his job. Shawn wants the “jacked up nimrod” to come fight right now so he comes, only to have Bischoff cut them off. The match is made for Armageddon but tonight, as per the wheel, it’s Bischoff’s Choice. Tonight, we’ll do Batista/Ric Flair vs. Shawn/Chris Jericho.

Lita vs. Victoria

In a cage via a spin from Molly Holly and I believe the first women’s cage match in company history. Lita throws her her into the cage a few times to start and Lawler is panicking over Victoria’s thong being exposed. Victoria gets in her spinning side slam for two but Lita gets in a monkey flip and some right hands. A hurricanrana nearly drops Victoria on her head but she’s able to get in a slam off the top.

Lita goes up again….and falls off with no one touching her. That’s a really bad sign, as is Victoria ramming her into the cage again. A powerbomb pulls Victoria off the cage and there’s the moonsault. Lita goes for the door and here’s Matt Hardy to slam the door on her head to give Victoria the easy win.

Rating: D-. That fall off the cage looked so bad and there was no saving this thing. There was little drama and with only four minutes, you can’t get much done in there. It’s not a good match and there’s no real build to it, which is what’s going to cause problems with the show all night long.

Post match Matt goes after Lita but Christian runs in for the save.

Bischoff’s showgirls are huddled around Randy Orton, who promises to win the Intercontinental Title at Armageddon. He has a match tonight too and Bischoff has already spun the wheel for him (erg), setting up a Legend Killer match. Orton leaves and here are Hurricane and Rosey, who have a match tonight as well. They’ll be having a midget catching match and here’s a midget named Fernando, who runs off. Bischoff actually explains the match and Hurricane isn’t sure, so Bischoff says if they refuse, the loser gets fired. Hurricane: “I see. Rosey, wait here.” The chase is on.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Randy Orton

Slaughter grabs a quickly broken Cobra Clutch as the fans chant USA. You know, in opposition to that foreigner from the far off city of St. Louis. Orton forearms him down and pounds away, setting up a sleeper. That’s reversed into a camel clutch which Slaughter reverses into another Cobra Clutch. Orton makes the rope and kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the pin. This was a thing that happened.

Post match Orton stomps away until Rob Van Dam makes the save.

Video on Goldberg vs. HHH from Survivor Series and the handicap match from last week.

Val Venis and Lance Storm are waiting for some women to arrive. These are a little more conservative than usual so they have to prove that they’re nicer guys. The ladies, looking pretty much the same as most of Venis’ women, show up and are ready to go out but are worried about wrestlers being too crazy. Cue Hurricane and Rosey, the former with a net, chasing Fernando. Storm: “They’re not with us.”

Ric Flair and Coach plug the Ultimate Ric Flair DVD set (Amen brother. That thing was awesome.) with Flair promising to take care of Shawn tonight.

Matt Hardy is ready to spin the wheel but first, insists that he’s slammed the door on Lita for good. Hang on though, as Bischoff has to gloat about firing Austin, though he does plug Austin’s upcoming UPN special. It’s a Strange Bedfellows match (Matt: “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Version 1 is straight!”), meaning a tag match with first time ever partners.

Lillian starts introducing the next match but hang on because we need to see Goldberg spearing HHH in video game form.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Garrison Cade vs. Matt Hardy/Christian

Rating: D. Angle instead of a match and that’s fine enough. Cade and Mark Jindrak have nothing going for them so giving the team a few wins isn’t the worst idea in the world. The gimmick allowed that to happen and it’s not quite as big of a deal as a cage match so this isn’t as annoying. Nothing match of course.

JR is aghast at Matt walking out on this nothing tag match. He wasn’t this annoyed at SLAMMING A METAL DOOR ON HER HEAD EARLIER. Cade hands Bubba the title but doesn’t let it go. Bubba yells a bit and Cade sneers as he leaves.

Shawn Michaels promises to beat the odds again tonight. He goes to leave but stops to point out the midget looking up Terri’s dress. A chase ensues.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

HHH is challenging. They talk trash to start until a Flair distraction lets HHH deck him from behind. That earns HHH a hard clothesline and the fight heads outside with Goldberg’s ankle seeming fine so far. Goldberg gets sent hard into the steps and it’s time to start working over the shoulder. You know, instead of the ankle that was broken about a month ago.

A knee drop rocks Goldberg again but he’s still able to slam HHH off the top. For some reason Goldberg thinks ducking your head against HHH is a good idea and that means a facebuster. The gorilla press powerslam drops HHH again but Flair grabs the foot. Cue Orton to grab Goldberg, which should be a DQ, but seems to be nothing as HHH hits the Pedigree to draw out Kane. That just earns him a spear so Kane comes in and attacks Goldberg to FINALLY draw the DQ. I’m not sure if that was a missed spot or really bad officiating but it looked terrible more than once.

Rating: D+. The ending destroys any good stuff this could have been but the bigger problem is how these two just don’t work well together. They haven’t had a good match yet and this feud has been going on since before Summerslam. HHH works too much of a power style to make this work and it’s not getting better every time they fight. We’ll be getting it again too and that’s really annoying to hear, but it’s what HHH wants so who are we to complain?

Post break HHH and Kane storm into Bischoff’s office so a triple threat is made for Armageddon.

Fernando runs through the parking lot.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Rating: D+. There’s something to be said about Henry wrecking the weapons and doing the scary power stuff. It’s not a good match of course but I was entertained and that’s as good as you can get here. The problem is it’s also bad booking as you don’t want Henry and Booker T. trading wins in short matches. That philosophy doesn’t work, no matter how much WWE likes to think it does.

Trish Stratus gets a bra and panties match but doesn’t seem to mind. She leaves and runs into Chris Jericho, who offers to use his Bischoff favor to get her out of it. Trish: “I’ve got this.” Jericho: “I know you’ve got it but I can go talk to him.” Trish talks about the Shawn tag match and Trish wants him to be the man that she knows he is. Maybe if he’s good with Shawn tonight, she’ll be good with him tonight. That gets Jericho’s attention.

JR plugs the Austin special. As he and Lawler are talking, Fernando runs up and sits on JR’s lap, making him the winner. JR puts his hat on Fernando, who has a mustache, and calls him a little fella.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner/Test

The wheel comes up with a handicap match but Orton convinces Bischoff to spin it again for a bonus stipulation, which is a Singapore cane match. Rob knocks Steiner off the apron and dives onto Test, followed by a whip to send Steiner into the steps. Scott gets kicked down but Test scores with a cane shot to break up Rolling Thunder. A clothesline with the cane gets two but Rob is right back with the kicks. Rob canes Steiner by mistake and the Five Star hits Scott. Test’s second shot to the head puts Rob down for the pin.

Jericho tries to get Trish out of the match but Bischoff thinks he’s falling for her.

Jackie Gayda vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties of course. Jackie jumps her to start but gets her top pulled off early on. Trish gets put in the Tree of Woe and loses her top as well. Rico gets pulled in and loses his pants, which he seems to like. Jackie kicks Rico down by mistake and Trish takes her down for the win.

Post match Jackie freaks out and rips off Lillian Garcia’s jacket.

Trish tells Jericho that their evening activities depends on what he does. That’s quite the offer.

Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels vs. Batista/Ric Flair

The arena is full of smoke from Shawn’s pyro. Shawn chops at Flair to start and Jericho comes in off the tag with no issues. A missile dropkick gets two on Flair and a few chops set up the Flair Flop. Batista comes in and spinebusts the heck out of Jericho. It’s back to Flair who goes up top and you know what’s next.

The tag brings Shawn back in as they’re certainly running through this one in a hurry. Batista gets knocked off the apron, leaving Shawn and Flair to punch it out. A poke to the eye blinds Shawn and he punches Jericho by mistake, followed by the superkick to Flair. Jericho superkicks Shawn, who falls onto Flair for the pin.

Rating: D. These four should be able to do better than this by definition. The time was killing them again though as there’s not much you can do with so little time and an angle involved in the finish. Shawn vs. Batista could be good with Shawn knowing how to handle someone like him, but the Jericho addition is a little odd.

Jericho bolts to the back as Shawn isn’t sure what happened. Batista and Flair lay Shawn out with Shawn bleeding from the mouth to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I didn’t hate the show but there wasn’t much to see on there. The Raw Roulette thing helped a bit but having the chase scenes all night with JR as the payoff is a little beneath what I was hoping for. They set some stuff up for Armageddon though and that’s what helps most. However, when one of those things is ANOTHER Goldberg vs. HHH match, there’s only so much positive to be gathered. That story needs to change soon because it’s been out of steam for months now. There’s not much good to be found here, but I’ll take a gimmick show like this over a regular boring night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2018
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s both a new night for the roster as well as a go home show because April has to be the most packed month of all time. In this case we have the first night under the new roster after last week’s Superstar Shakeup, where your mileage may vary on how good of a thing that is. At the same time it’s the go home show for the Greatest Royal Rumble. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In memory of Bruno Sammartino.

The roster is on the stage in Bruno shirts for the ten bell salute.

We get the Bruno tribute video with a who’s who of people talking about how important he was and what he meant to so many generations. He was before most modern fans’ time and I don’t think we can really appreciate how big of a star he was. Sammartino was the World Champion and that’s how he’ll be remembered. Outstanding stuff here, as usual with these tributes, and they treated him like the legend they should have.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. After a break, Heyman introduces himself for the man who is STILL the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar. Heyman knows fans think he’s here to gloat, just like they were when they broke the Streak or when they took John Cena to Suplex (repeated 14 times) City.

When it comes to Lesnar, this is real, and no one in the locker room or the crowd has a chance. Heyman delivers spoilers because Lesnar doesn’t gloat. However, Heyman can gloat all night long. He talks about the un-PG elbows to Reigns’ head and the multiple F5’s, but none of this matters to Lesnar. This Friday, Lesnar, who is dying to be in a UFC cage, will be flying across the world to be locked in a cage with Roman Reigns.

A small ROMAN chant breaks out before Heyman talks about Brock’s new contract. Lesnar wanted a fight inside a cage and now the odds are stacked against Reigns even more than before. Reigns will be coming back home in multiple boxes as another victim, but here’s Reigns to interrupt. Reigns says he’s coming home with the title and that’s it. I’m still not sure what to expect over there, but they’re booking themselves in a necessary title change at this rate.

We get some tweets of people paying respect to Bruno.

Bobby Roode vs. Elias

Roode cuts Elias off after only a mention of his name, which should make him a full on heel. Elias gets knocked around early but avoids the Blockbuster with Roode banging up his knee on the landing. An armbar gives the knee a chance to rest and the threat of a Glorious DDT sends Elias bailing to the floor.

Back from a break with Roode firing off some chops until Elias sends him into the post. We hit the neck crank and here’s an inset ad for Undertaker vs. Rusev at the Greatest Royal Rumble. Egads man you talk about it all night and do a regular commercial and NOW THIS? Good grief the Saturday morning Memphis shows had fewer show advertisements. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Roode fights up with some clotheslines and a sunset flip for two. The Blockbuster drops Elias but he bails to the floor. Roode throws him back in but Elias rams him shoulder first into the ropes and gets the pin at 11:48.

Rating: D+. I still have no idea why Roode isn’t a heel. Outside of his entrance being popular, everything about him screams heel but this is what we’re getting at the time. It’s certainly surprising to see Roode lose, but if it leads to a heel turn then I’m all good. I do like Elias getting a win though as he’s still being well protected (Braun feud excluded).

Bray and Matt laugh a lot and say run.

Bray Wyatt/Matt Hardy vs. Ascension

Corey explains Bray’s transformation and Cole is just lost. Viktor locks up with Matt to start and cartwheels away, which Matt declares WONDERFUL with a round of applause. It’s off to Bray who can’t Rock Bottom Viktor but can clothesline Konnor. Matt gets taken down and a fist drop gets two as the announcers explain the Tag Team Title situation. Graves to Cole: “You’re ok with a ten year old winning the Tag Team Championships but the Hardy Compound is weird?” It’s back to Bray for the running crossbody and a corner splash, followed by the Side Effect for two on Viktor. The elevated Twist of Fate puts Viktor away at 3:45.

Rating: D. This is the kind of match that Bray and Matt needed as they go into the title match. There’s no reason to have them lose in Saudi Arabia so a win here is a good idea. Let them build up at least a little momentum before they go on to face a good team, even if this was only a step above a squash.

More Tweets on Bruno.

Here are Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens for the Sami and Kevin Show. They hype up the Greatest Royal Rumble and say it’s great because one of them will win it. They’re here tonight because of Stephanie McMahon was smarter than their first guest, which means Sami and Kevin singing YOU SUCK.

Cue Angle to say that they shouldn’t quit their day jobs. Owens understands Angle’s bitterness as Stephanie has his manhood in a jar in Connecticut. They recap the conspiracy on Smackdown and say that Stephanie must hate Angle for what she’s done to him. Angle agrees, because if not for him then Stephanie would still have full use of her arm. Owens talks about Angle needing this job because he has five kids. Actually it’s six because Sami forgot Jason Jordan “just like Angle did for years.”

Angle warns them about the beating they’ll be receiving on Friday when they’re in the ring with him, Daniel Bryan, Shane McMahon, Chris Jericho and everyone else they’ve treated badly over the years. As for tonight, they can have a tag match with Bobby Lashley and Braun Strowman. Can we please not do the Stephanie vs. Angle story again? It wasn’t great the first time.

The Miztourage offer their services to Seth Rollins but get shot down.

Greatest Royal Rumble rundown.

Titus Worldwide vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

Titus runs Ziggler over to start and a standing moonsault gives Crews two. A blind tag lets McIntyre kick him in the face though and Drew hits a reverse Alabama Slam to rock Apollo. The Claymore into the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 2:10.

Post match Ziggler brags about having a dangerous man watching his back. Drew says Ziggler is right because he’s dangerous to a soft locker room. People are just back there collecting checks and it makes him sick. This is how a superstar looks and speaks because he’s the wake up call and reality check that this place needs. Again: let Drew be a star on his own without Ziggler around. It doesn’t benefit anyone but Dolph, who will manage to let everyone down.

Chad Gable comes in to see Angle and asks about Jason Jordan. Angle says he’ll be back soon but Gable is here as a singles competitor. Jinder Mahal comes in and complains about not receiving a celebrating last week. He demands to be sent back to Smackdown and threatens to call Stephanie. Gable tells him to have some respect but Jinder thinks he’s Nicholas. It’s about to get physical so Angle makes a match right now.

Jinder Mahal vs. Chad Gable

Jinder jumps him before the bell and the referee starts the match anyway. Mahal hammers away but gets sent outside, where a hard clothesline drops Chad to send us to a break. Back with Gable in a chinlock until Mahal sends him chest first into the buckle. Gable fights up and starts in on the leg with a dragon screw legwhip, only to get caught with a hot shot. A running knee to the face rocks Gable again and the Khallas is loaded up. Gable walks the ropes though and flips back into a rollup for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: D+. That’s a good idea for a win, even if Mahal is getting a title shot on Friday. Gable has more personality than Mahal could ever hope to and with an Olympic wrestling background to go with it, there’s a lot of potential there. Mahal was trying here but my goodness the levels of boring are just too much to overcome.

The Riott Squad says last week was a message to the entire women’s division. They’re here to take over and Logan says a scared animal is easy prey. Riott promises to take over in the ten woman tag tonight. This was pretty rough.

More Bruno tweets.

We look at the Lesnar/Heyman/Reigns segment.

Samoa Joe has no problem with Reigns winning the title but he’s worried he won’t have anyone to put to sleep at Backlash.

We run down the rest of the Rumble card.

The Miztourage, in new shirts, offers their services to Finn Balor but their TOO SWEET offer is declined.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman/Bobby Lashley

Sami and Owens try to bail but Strowman throws them back in without too much trouble. Lashley forearms Owens down in the corner but it’s off to Sami for some right hands to take over. A suplex gives Sami two and the double teaming begins. Owens is sent outside and Lashley gets two off a crossbody but Owens pulls him to the floor. We hit a backsplash and it’s off to a break.

Back with Lashley fighting out of Sami’s chinlock and dropping him with a clothesline. That’s enough for the hot tag to Strowman, who runs around the ring and shoulders Owens down. Sami gets taken down as well so Strowman goes outside to run Owens over again, just as he gets up. Strowman does it a third time, this time with a dropkick as the fans are going insane for this stuff. That’s enough for Sami as he bails up the ramp, only to be thrown back inside by Lashley. There’s the delayed suplex to Sami (one arm version), followed by the running powerslam from Strowman for the pin at 12:03.

Rating: C. This might not have been a great match but it was entertaining. Strowman running Owens over three times in a row was making me laugh and Sami being tossed around like a toy was great. Strowman and Lashley could make for a very entertaining monster team and I could go with seeing more of them in the future.

Owens hasn’t moved since taking that dropkick in a funny visual.

Video on Baron Corbin.

Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose

The Conga line is back. Actually hang on a second as Corbin isn’t coming to the ring with all of those people at ringside because he’s not going to get jumped. Corbin is here for serious competition but Jose isn’t on his level. Therefore, no way Jose. Corbin leaves so Jose starts the Conga line again, only to get jumped by Corbin on the stage, including the chokebreaker.

Alexa Bliss gives a public service announcement about bullying over Nia Jax. Apparently Nia ate the rest of a burrito bowl that Bliss was trying to give to a homeless woman but Alexa did nothing. She can make things right at Backlash when she gets the title back. This has been your Moment of Bliss.

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miztourage

Axel runs Balor over to start and does a little dance before it’s off to Dallas for some knees. The chinlock goes on in a hurry but Balor is right back with a Pele for a breather. The hot tag brings in Rollins to clean house, including a suicide dive to take them both out. There’s the Sling Blade to Axel and it’s a Stomp into the Coup de Grace for the pin at 4:56.

Rating: D+. That felt so much shorter. I’m not sure what they’ll do with the Intercontinental Title as I can’t quite imagine Rollins making it through both title defenses without dropping it somewhere. If nothing else, Miz can tie the record for the most title reigns and move even closer to the record for most days. Either way, it would be nice to get on to something different from the Wrestlemania feuds.

Natalya fires her team up for the ten woman tag. Nia says that insulting her can be bad for your health. Bayley and Sasha stare at each other without saying anything.

More Bruno tweets.

Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Riott Squad vs. Nia Jax/Natalya/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon/Bayley

Logan takes Banks to the mat to start and it’s off to Sasha vs. Morgan. Banks pulls her into the corner and hands it off to Ember as Booker talks about training Moon. A springboard spinning crossbody gets two and one heck of a suicide dive takes Morgan out as we take a break. Back with Logan chinlocking Banks but Mickie tags herself in, much to Logan’s annoyance.

That means another chinlock so let’s hit that inset promo for Reigns vs. Lesnar (I mean, it’s not like these people are going to the show or anything so giving their time to someone else is totally cool). Back again with Banks fighting up and bringing Natalya in to clean house. The Sharpshooter goes on but Logan makes the save with a chop block. She tags Bayley in but Mickie kicks the injured Natalya to the floor.

Her knee is bad enough that the trainers come out and Sasha checks on her as well. Bayley fights Riott off and the hot tag brings in Nia to wreck some people. Nia DIVES off the apron to take everyone out, leaving Mickie to baseball slide Natalya again. Trash talk ensues and here’s Ronda Rousey to defend her friend. Mickie baseball slides Ronda as well and the armbar makes Mickie tap for the DQ at 14:15 before I can finish typing this. Remember: Mickie James, a six time Women’s Champion and future Hall of Famer, was tapped out in seconds by the armbar. Stephanie McMahon blocked it three times.

Rating: D. Nia’s dive was good and the ending was fairly telegraphed (and fine) since Rousey getting into the regular division is a good idea. The rest of the match wasn’t much to see, especially with the inset promo about thirty seconds after the return from a commercial. I really hope that’s just a thing for this show and Wrestlemania, because we hear enough ads during the show, let alone during the matches.

Rousey helps Natalya to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as they really pushed the Rumble too hard. I don’t know if they even pushed Wrestlemania this much in the go home show and that’s a little hard to take. If nothing else, get rid of the ads during the matches. Other than that though, this was a lot of setting things up going forward, which has me worried about Backlash. I believe we have three matches set at the moment and three TV shows left before we get there. But hey, at least we get the REALLY big house show before we get a worn out roster on Monday and Tuesday. Not a very good show this week.

Results

Elias b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Ascension – Elevated Twist of ate to Viktor

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Titus Worldwide – Claymore/Zig Zag combination to Crews

Chad Gable b. Jinder Mahal – Rollup

Braun Strowman/Bobby Lashley b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Running powerslam to Zayn

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Miztourage – Coup de Grace to Dallas

Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Riott Squad b. Nia Jax/Natalya/Ember Moon/Bayley/Sasha Banks via DQ when Ronda Rousey interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another request and this time it’s because of a pretty famous line. Steve Austin is on his -way back after almost a year off due to neck surgery but we’re still not sure who ran him over in the first place. Commissioner Mick Foley is on the case though and with Austin being back in less than two weeks, he needs to find something out soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH blaming Stephanie McMahon for a loss, which has almost driven her into Kurt Angle’s corner. On top of that, Foley has suspended Austin for being a little too insane over finding the guy that tried to kill him.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Foley to open things up, drawing some very rare booing. Foley talks about Austin embarrassing him with some Stunners but that’s not going to keep him from doing his job. He’s brought in a fellow Texan who knows something about Austin being run down so here’s Shawn Michaels. Foley: “Welcome to Anaheim, California, my fellow broken down, washed up wrestler.” He’s not going to accuse Shawn of running Austin over, but Mick does want an alibi.

Michaels remembers the entire day, which started with waking up, brushing his teeth, having some breakfast….but there’s no memory of getting on a plane to Detroit and running over Austin. The thud on that bumper probably would have jogged his memory. What Foley is missing is a motive, which Shawn doesn’t have. Foley doesn’t quite buy that though, because here’s a clip from Wrestlemania XIV with Michaels losing the WWF World Title to Austin, who flipped him off after the match.

Mick talks about his best match ever being with Shawn, but no one remembers that. No one remembers Shawn blazing the trail for the superstars of today and that would tick Foley off enough to run Austin over. Shawn doesn’t ever want to see that clip again but again denies doing anything to Austin. Besides, if Shawn did it, don’t you think he’d be basking in the spotlight that came with it? He’ll give Mick an idea though: there’s someone who loves the spotlight more than even Shawn and he has the world wrapped around his finger, if you smell what he’s cooking. Well that’s a change of pace.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Jacqueline

Lita is defending and this is under hardcore rules, meaning Jacqueline can bring the weapons. It’s a quick brawl on the floor to start until Lita gets hit in the head with a sign. A broom over the back has Lita in trouble but the fans are very much behind her anyway. Jacqueline hits her square in the head with a hair dryer (FREAKING OW MAN!) as Lawler accuses Foley of being the driver.

A fire extinguisher malfunction lets Lita get in a low blow (which has an effect here) and she pulls out a ladder. Jacqueline is right back with a DDT onto the cookie sheet for two but Lita pops up again. A superplex off the ladder is broken up and Jacqueline misses a crossbody off the ladder….which would have been lower than the middle rope. A fire extinguisher blast and a cookie sheet shot retains Lita’s title.

Rating: D+. You know, if you want something like this to matter, you might want to give it more than four minutes. It’s cool to see them doing something like this, but a short match isn’t going to let them do anything. Also, that crossbody off such a low level was just lame. This could have been something if they had tried but it felt like they were just having a hardcore match for the sake of having a hardcore match.

Debra wishes Chyna well on her upcoming wedding and it’s the usual “oh I’m so happy for you” giggling nonsense. They’re looking for Foley and Eddie but can’t find either of them.

Post break Debra comes in to see Foley, who is in the laundry room. He asks her how Steve is before talking about how Debra seemed to benefit from Austin’s injuries. Debra erupts and wishes she was there when Austin Stunned him.

HHH rants about having to team with Chris Jericho and Stephanie goes into some of the worst acting of her career in an attempt to be in his corner. I’d still love to hear them defend talking like this because it sounds as robotic as humanly possible.

Linda McMahon arrives.

Raven vs. Steve Blackman

Actually not hardcore so Blackman’s Hardcore Title isn’t on the line. They start with some technical stuff (I’m as shocked as you are) with Blackman easily getting the better of it. Some kicks in the corner have Raven in trouble as the announcers talk about anything else. For once, it makes enough sense.

Blackman is sent outside and Raven hits a weird looking corkscrew dive (it’s not like he’s a high flier or a former Light Heavyweight Champion or anything). Steve sends him face first into the steps but gets caught with a discus forearm for two back inside. Not that it matters as Blackman finishes with the bicycle kick. This wasn’t long enough to rate and I’m really not sure what they were going for.

Post match Raven jumps Blackman but gets pummeled with the martial arts sticks.

Linda is in Foley’s office and denies running Austin over. Foley brings up her being in a hotel room in Detroit that night and Linda gives the logical explanation: well yeah, because there was a pay per view there that night and she’s part of the company. Besides, what sense would it make to run over the company’s top stars? Mick agrees, and asks who sold the most merchandise while Austin was on the shelf. That would be the Rock.

Chris Benoit/X-Pac vs. Chris Jericho/HHH

No Stephanie here. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Benoit heading to the floor and eventually starting inside. A suplex drops Benoit but Jericho and HHH get in a battle of tagging themselves in. They change places until HHH charges into a boot in the corner. Benoit gets dropped with a neckbreaker so Jericho tags himself in again, triggering a shoving match between the partners.

Jericho’s running bulldog gets two but he misses the middle rope dropkick. It’s off to X-Pac for the first time and EGADS the fans aren’t happy. Jericho gets sent into the corner and Benoit crotches him against the post like an evil Canadian. A backbreaker gives Benoit two but X-Pac takes WAY too long setting up the Bronco Buster.

It’s off to HHH and Benoit with the former getting the better of it and actually playing face for the moment. Everything breaks down and X-Pac kicks Jericho down. Benoit’s German suplex gets two on HHH but he gets caught in a suplex. HHH heads up, only to get crotched as Jericho and X-Pac fall to the floor. The collapse from the top is enough to give Benoit the pin.

Rating: C. The ending was pretty messy and it didn’t really make for a big finish. I’m assuming the idea is to have issues between HHH and X-Pac but there are so many issues between all four that it kind of got lost in the shuffle. Not terrible or even bad, but I’m not sure I got what they were trying to do.

Edge and Christian are in Foley’s office when HHH bursts in. HHH wants Benoit so Foley makes the match at No Mercy. That’s enough for him so HHH leaves, allowing Foley to continue interrogating the Canadians. They were getting ready for a match and abusing a trainer, which has Foley ready to pull his hair out. That’s enough from them as they have surfing lessons.

HHH goes into his locker room and Stephanie thinks the losing is because she’s not out there. The glare is almost painful.

Tag Team Titles: Hardy Boyz vs. Lo Down

Lo Down (D’Lo Brown and Chaz) is challenging because no one would ever let them be champions. It’s a brawl to start with Chaz being sent outside, leaving Brown to take a double suplex. The double legdrop keeps Brown down but Chaz gets in a cheap shot from the floor to take over. Matt gets double teamed in the corner until Brown drops a leg for two. As usual (and I was with him), JR can’t remember which Hardy is which.

Chaz misses his own legdrop and Lita crotches him for good measure, allowing the hot tag to Jeff. As I try to regain my hearing from the high pitch squealing, Poetry in Motion hits Brown. There goes Jeff’s shirt and the noise gets even louder. Jeff loads up the Swanton but cue Los Conquistadors to break it up. A Powerplex crushes Jeff but Matt makes the save with a top rope leg to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. I forgot how smooth the Hardys were back in their day. They really were as good in the ring as almost any team ever and even now, a ridiculous EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER, they’re still quite smooth. If nothing else the Los Conquistadors story will give us one of the best payoffs in the history of the division.

Mick is playing checkers with Al Snow, who is wearing a blond wig to look like he’s from Sweden. Foley thinks the driver could have been in a similar wig and breaks up the game with his gavel.

European Title: Al Snow vs. Test

Test is challenging and William Regal is on commentary. Snow is now from Greece, meaning the movie (which I still haven’t seen) instead of the country for a not terrible joke. Apparently Regal hasn’t seen the movie either and has no idea what’s going on. Test has Trish with her, whom Regal refers to as a buxom winch. Regal: “Europe has wonder culture. Europe has wonderful wrestlers. Why are we being represented by this buffoon?” Test slams Snow down by the head as Regal downgrades Snow to an ignoramus.

Snow goes after the knee and avoids a big boot to send Test crashing out to the floor. Back in and Test scores with the big boot for two before the gutwrench powerbomb gets the same. Test goes up top and gets superplexed right back down as Regal tries to figure out how a non-European is the European Champion. The Snow Plow gets two on Test so Trish gets on the apron, allowing Snow to hit Test with Head to retain. Regal is AGHAST (“IT’S BLOODY DISGRACEFUL!”) as only he can be.

Rating: D+. Regal was glorious here and that’s all this was supposed to be. They’re spelling out the Regal vs. Snow story in as simple terms as they can and that works very well. Test fell off the planet after Russo left because there was nothing left for him to do outside of get stuck in this generic power team designed to showcase Trish.

Eddie Guerrero and Chyna argue over Eddie not being trustworthy. Apparently she hasn’t seen him or heard from him all day and they have a match tonight. He’s ready to go to the ring on his own and if she trusts him, she can come out there too.

Road Dogg hosted and judged a dance contest at WWF New York. He sounds rather intoxicated.

Eddie Guerrero/Chyna vs. Right to Censor

Val Venis/Goodfather for the censors here. Eddie jumps Venis from behind to start and hammers away as Lawler makes Mamacita jokes. Speaking of which, we go to GTV, showing Eddie in the shower with two women earlier today. Of note: one of them is the future Victoria. Eddie: “Two mamacitas are better than one mamacita.” Chyna has a seat on the steps as Goodfather shoulders Eddie down. We hit the choking on the ropes as Goodfather shouts down at Chyna, who hasn’t even looked back at the ring. She starts looking at her engagement ring as Venis finishes Eddie with a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Rating: D. Angle instead of a match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Eddie reverting to his normal stance makes sense as he’s just not someone who is going to be tied down to Chyna over the years. It makes perfect sense and sets up Chyna/someone else perhaps vs. Eddie, which should be fine.

Post match the RTC goes after Chyna but Billy Gunn runs in for the save.

Crash is trying to leave but Foley cuts him off. Mick seems to realize that there’s nothing going on there so he talks to Scotty 2 Hotty instead. He had nothing to do with it either but says he, Grandmaster Sexay and Rikishi were backstage that night, waiting on Rock’s match to finish so they could go party. This seems to mean something to Foley.

Eddie begs Chyna’s forgiveness but he she takes the ring off and leaves. He goes to find the ring but Billy comes in and tells him to go return the ring for $20. Billy isn’t letting Eddie near her again as long as he’s around. Eddie grabs a bottle and hits him in the face before picking up the ring and leaving.

Kurt Angle/Kane vs. Rikishi/The Rock

And hang on as Kane beats up Angle before the match starts due to a recent attack at Kurt’s hands. Kane goes after Rikishi as well, but at least that’s what he’s supposed to do this time. Rock finally comes out and walks into a big boot from Kane. Dang it’s a good night to be the Big Red Machine. The running clothesline puts Kane down and it’s off to Rikishi for the fat right hands, followed by a Samoan drop.

The fans are VERY pleased to have Rock come back in (well to be fair he’s replacing Rikishi) and there’s the spit punch to the mask. Kane casually powerslams him down though as Angle is still nowhere to be seen. An elbow gets two on Rock and we cut to Angle who is leaning against the barricade, casually watching the match.

We hit the chinlock as this has been almost all Kane so far. In a sign of the times, the hold goes on with Kane’s back to the camera. That would never fly today, even though IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. Does it really matter that much if you can’t see the faces for all of thirty seconds in a ten minute match? Oh hey look Rock is fighting up and I can see his face again. I’m so much more invested in the match all of a sudden.

Rating: C. I know I mentioned this a few times but Kane looked great here. He beat up Rock and Rikishi on his own without much effort and even threw Angle some punishment as well. It wasn’t a great match or anything as it merely served as a reason to have people at ringside and I’m not sure why the #1 contender needed to get pinned here (let it be a countout because Kane was legal or something) but at least Kane looked great. Naturally, he wasn’t even on the upcoming pay per view.

That would be Rikishi, who was backstage but hadn’t even debuted on television yet. Rikishi was close enough to the Rock to take his keys and the rental car mirrors were configured to someone his size. After a long pause, Rikishi admits that he did it. In the line that launched a thousand forum posts, Rikishi did it for the Rock. That night, he took Rock’s keys to go check into the hotel, but when he was in the car, he saw Austin. Everything flashed right through his eyes. See, over the years, the WWF has always been about the great white hope.

Rikishi talks about people like Buddy Rogers, Bruno Sammartino, Bob Backlund, Hulk Hogan (POP) and now Steve Austin, all of whom were pushed harder than the island boys. The people like Peter Maivia, Jimmy Snuka, the Headshrinkers and the Tonga Kid were allowed into the company but never allowed to become WWF Champion. Rikishi doesn’t expect anything back from Rock, who had nothing to do with this. He ran Austin over, and he’d do it again. Everyone, including Rock, is stunned to end the show.

Oh holy sweet chicken wings where do I even begin? Let’s get the big one out of the way to start: THIS WAS DUMB. Not only is this somehow about making sure that the Rock (who was a THREE TIME WWF Champion by the time Survivor Series 1999 rolled around) wasn’t held back by the white man, but it was explained by a 400lb dancing Samoan in a thong.

That last part is the bigger issue here: there was no reason for this to be Rikishi. Every single thing in this pointed to the driver being the Rock (as explained by Foley) or HHH (because he’s HHH). They would eventually change it to HHH because they realized that Rikishi couldn’t have a good match with Austin to save his life (again, because it’s Rikishi) and that THIS WAS REALLY STUPID.

Oh and Rikishi was found out because he was backstage at a show before he had debuted? So a member of Rock’s family, one of the biggest wrestling families of all time and apparently friends with Too Cool by then, was backstage at a show for a company that he was about to debut for, and THAT is the smoking gun? And Foley just happened to remember Rikishi’s debut date off the top of his head? Just dumb all around, and thankfully they had it fixed within about a month for the sake of this being so stupid.

Overall Rating: D. REALLY bad ending angle aside, this wasn’t much of a show. There was however one big that stood out: everything feels different. There’s a show long angle going on, but at the same time every match feels important. That’s how NXT feels today and it’s such a breath of fresh air. If you don’t like something that’s going on, they’ll be on something different you might like a few minutes later. That’s a very good thing to have on a show and makes it feel that much easier. This is at the down end of the best year ever, but it’s still a watchable enough show. Just turn it off after the main event for the sake of STUPID.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 17, 2003
Location: SE Texas Arena, Beaumont, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Survivor Series and that means we’re on the way to Armageddon to end the year. Eric Bischoff is back in full control of the show as Steve Austin’s team lost last night. I’m sure we’ll NEVER see him again. Goldberg is still the Raw World Champion too, having dispatched Evolution on a bad ankle. Why do I have a feeling that the HHH feud is far from over though? Let’s get to it.

Here’s Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Austin’s face comes up at the end of the opening and Bischoff spray paints it out. Not bad for a chuckle.

We hear Austin’s post match speech from last night, complete with photos and clips of his career, all the way back to 1989. The shot closes on the two beer cans Austin left in the ring.

In the arena, Bischoff and his team from last night look down on the same beer cans, which Eric stomps on. Those who have supported him are in for some good times but for those against him, it’s the beginning of the end. Each member of his team gets a special favor, good for anything anytime (within reason).

Cue the rest of Evolution with HHH congratulating Bischoff on his victory last night. The thing is though, it was Evolution that gave Bischoff the win. Without them, Austin would still be in charge. Bischoff agrees, so HHH can have a rematch with Goldberg any time. In a bizarre line, HHH says that’s “very white” of Bischoff (HHH to Long and Henry: “No offense guys.”). HHH blames the sledgehammer for the loss and instead of a title match tonight, we’ll have a 3-1 handicap match with Goldberg facing Evolution minus Flair. Bischoff says that’s the bottom line.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker wastes no time in hammering away but some hard forearms knock him backwards in a hurry. A kick to the chest rocks Henry but one heck of a clothesline takes care of that. They’re already doing things right with Henry here: have Henry stand in the middle while the more talented guy does his thing and bounces off of Henry. A sleeper brings Henry down to a knee until he powers Booker into the corner. Booker gets run over for good measure and Henry stands on his chest. Again: using the power game in simple, effective way is what serves Henry best.

We hit the neck crank for a bit until Henry misses a charge in the corner. Booker kicks away and the ax kick FINALLY puts Henry down. The missile dropkick does it again but Henry counters a third kick into a powerslam for two. Henry tries another charge into the corner, only to get rolled up with Booker putting his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too shabby at all here with Booker knowing how to get the best out of Henry. I know he gets a lot of flack and a lot of it is deserved but Henry has a role that few can play. Let him do his thing like this (maybe winning a match here or there) and it might get him somewhere. That’s a good asset to have when you need to give someone a rub down the line.

La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

There’s no graphic behind Cade and Jindrak’s names for some reason. The Americans clean house to start and for some reason, Cade is allowed to talk. He brings up his fellow Texans and dedicates the match to the armed forces (well to be fair it’s been like a week). Those are fighting words so we’re ready to go.

Back in and Conway scores with a hurricanrana as JR recaps the night. We’re not even half an hour into the show so it’s a bit early for a recap. A throat snap across the top rope gives Conway two on Jindrak but he suplexes Dupree out of the corner. Cade comes in to clean house and a very hard clothesline gets two on Dupree. The dropkick/spinebuster combination puts Conway away. The match was barely long enough to rate and the promo was after the bell. Not much to this one of course, but at least the rookies got a clean win for a change.

Shawn Michaels has something to say about the loss last night but Bischoff cuts the interview. Shawn talks about everything that went down last night and said it was about doing the right thing. All Bischoff cares about is the power but Bischoff says he didn’t lose last night like Michaels did. For tonight, Shawn is ejected from the building.

Stills of the ambulance match, which again made Shane look like a bigger star than most of the roster.

Kane will be on Smackdown to eulogize the Dudleys.

Scott Steiner has used his favor to get himself and Test a Tag Team Title shot. In exchange, he’s no longer Test’s property. Test agrees but makes it clear that Stacy is still his property and will do what he wants.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair

Flair is challenging, Orton is on commentary and as per Bischoff’s orders, the Five Star is banned. They pose at each other to start until Rob kicks him down and gets two off a standing moonsault. A spinning legdrop sends Flair bailing and it’s time for a slugout on the floor with Rob getting the better of it.

JR complains about the Five Star being banned, saying it would be like banning the RKO. Orton warns them to watch it because he seems them as a legendary announce team. Lawler gets the threat and says JR is a legend but says nothing about himself. As expected, it seems to go sailing over JR’s head. Flair sends him knee first into the steps to take over but the knee is fine enough for a spinwheel kick.

The Figure Four goes on until Rob turns it over so there’s a chop block for even worse measure. Rob pops back up with a middle rope spinning crossbody and superkicks Flair down. That’s enough to bring Orton to ringside but Rob kicks him down as well. Ric’s low blow only gets two and Rob loads up the Five Star, drawing in Orton for an RKO off the top and the DQ.

Rating: C. They were getting going here and that’s a good sign for when Orton takes the title from Van Dam. This seemed to exist for the sake of making Orton the next challenger and that’s the right call. Orton needs something like that to establish himself more as for now, he’s just a bunch of potential without a big win.

Orton puts the title on and drops it on Rob.

Coach makes fun of Hurricane and Rosey before going into Bischoff’s office. Eric has a big surprise for next week: Raw Roulette! In Salt Lake City, Utah! Bischoff is holding it there because the city is boring and they need something to make the show interesting.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho saying it’s not his fault that Austin was in over his head. Jericho wasn’t the sole survivor last night but he was the one who got the match off the ground in the first place. So he deserves a H*** YEAH for helping get rid of Austin! That brings him to his guest this week: Lita. She doesn’t seem happy to be here and doesn’t want to hear anything about Jericho or especially Christian.

Instead here’s Matt Hardy to return to Raw, drawing a big smile from Lita. Matt quickly kisses her and has a question that he has to ask from one knee. Before it can be asked though, here’s Molly Holly to interrupt. She has a question of her own: what does she have to do to get some respect around here? She’s the Women’s Champion and beat Lita at Survivor Series but who is out here getting the attention? Jericho likes the animosity and thinks we should have a mixed tag tonight. Molly agrees, but with Bischoff as her partner. Matt and Lita don’t know what to think.

Post break Bischoff asks what Molly is thinking. She thought this could be the beginning of the end for Lita, so Bischoff adds some stipulations: if they win, Lita is fired for good. If Matt and Lita win, Lita gets a rematch for the Women’s Title.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Test

Steiner/Test are challenging. The fans want tables but have to wait through D-Von and Test starting things off. Lawler: “They don’t have tables here in Beaumont, Texas? Do they eat off the floor?” Test powers him around to start but walks into a jumping elbow to the jaw. Steiner comes in and gets punched in the head for his efforts, before it’s off to Bubba in his hardcore shorts.

Stacy cheers as Bubba hits a side slam but then sits back down in her chair so Test can yell at her some more. We actually hear about the Duchess of Dudleyville, with Lawler bringing up the history. I’m as confused as you are. It’s back to Test for a running clothesline in the corner, followed by jumping jacks for a little exercise. You have to get it in when you can.

We hit the chinlock and Stacy slaps the mat to get Bubba back to his feet. That means a Bubba Bomb for a break and the hot tag brings in D-Von to clean house. Everything breaks down and a thumb to the eye looks to set up Test’s pumphandle slam. That’s escaped as well and What’s Up Test. He’s right back up (make your own joke) with a full nelson slam to D-Von but now he wants Stacy to throw him a belt. She says no, and that means a 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. Actually a good match here with both teams getting to look good out there. Test and Steiner are fine for a power team and I would have tolerated them a lot more over the last several months had they just done this rather than the whole feud and owning Stacy thing. They need another few teams but the tag division is starting to put some pieces together for a change.

Matt and Lita are in the back with Matt saying he wanted their first kiss to be in front of the world. Haven’t they done that already? Anyway, now it’s about getting her a shot at the Women’s Title. Matt leaves and Trish comes in for the rapid fire giggling.

Lita/Matt Hardy vs. Molly Holly/Eric Bischoff

They all get jobber entrances for some reason and genders can mix. Lita throws Molly down to start as the announcers point out Bischoff wrestling in a suit. That’s rather nice for a change as there’s no reason for him to have gear ready. Molly pulls Lita into the corner for two and we hit the chinlock. A Reverse DDT gets Lita out of trouble as Jerry keeps talking about the suit. Eric comes in and gets slapped, allowing Matt to….drop to the floor instead of coming in. Bischoff pulls Lita down by the hair and gets a really bad rollup (there’s no way I’m buying Lita couldn’t kick out of that) for the pin.

Post match Matt says he was going to ask Lita how she could be so selfish. All she had to do was come join him on Smackdown but instead she had to come back to Raw for the Women’s Title. She couldn’t even do that right though and it’s clear that the title and her career mean more than him and their relationship. They are THROUGH and Matt walks out. And that’s the end of any drama between them for the rest of time.

Val Venis vs. Rico

Venis has the women and Lance Storm to counter Miss Jackie. An early shoulder puts Rico down as the announcers start talking about Matt and Lita as this is pretty clearly just background noise for their chatter. Rico escapes a suplex and grabs a Backstabber to take over as the announcers talk about the ratings.

We get back to the match with Rico hitting a knee lift and a discussion about which section of the closet Rico is in/coming out of/was in. Rico drops an elbow and gyrates the hips as the discussion moves to JR being put on the Roulette wheel next week. This is reaching WCW levels of ignoring the match.

Rico grabs the chinlock as Jerry thinks JR could be in an inferno match and JR reacts accordingly. Val fights up and hits some clotheslines as JR says Rico wouldn’t fit in down in Muskogee. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and Val’s big boot gets the same. The Money Shot is loaded up but Val has to kick Jackie to the floor (in a big crash). She gets up to look at Storm, which isn’t noteworthy on its own but does include probably the longest nip slip in WWE history (edited but still visible on the Network). Rico gets shoved down as well and now the Money Shot is good for the pin. Storm wasn’t a factor.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t the worst (though it could have been about three minutes shorter) but the commentary here was what got the most focus. It was clear that the match was just there because they didn’t have anything else to do and I feel sorry for the wrestlers then. It’s nice to have them get out there and get to show off what they can do (in a watchable enough match) but egads can the announcers pretend that it matters?

Post match, Val and Storm dance with the ladies.

Lita (with her dog in her purse, which always looks dumb) is leaving when she runs into Christian. He has good news for her: he used his Bischoff favor to get her job back. Christian even picks up her bag and offers a shoulder to cry on, which she accepts.

Same Austin video as the opener.

We look at Orton RKOing Mark Cuban. Why that wasn’t a dark segment eludes me.

Orton has cashed in his favor for an Intercontinental Title shot at the next (unnamed) pay per view. He lists off some great Intercontinental Champions, forgetting HHH until the boss points it out. That’s fine enough because all that matters to HHH is getting the pin tonight in the handicap match.

Jericho asks Trish out for another date but she turns him down for being in on the Matt/Lita shenanigans. He denies all involvement and somehow offers up enough charm to get a kiss out of the whole thing.

Evolution vs. Goldberg

Orton starts for the team but his partners are quickly knocked to the floor with Randy being tossed on top of them. It’s off to Batista for the big power showdown but Goldberg knocks him down with one shot, followed by a powerslam for two. The ankle seems fine so far. HHH comes in and gets hammered in the face and suplexed.

Flair breaks up the spear though and HHH’s jumping knee to the face takes over. Orton’s dropkick rocks Goldberg but he spears the heck out of HHH. Batista and Orton get clotheslined down, only to have HHH come back with the facebuster. There’s the RKO (JR: “You gotta get up Billy.”) and a Batista Bomb, followed by the Pedigree to end Goldberg.

Rating: D. So to the shock of no one, last night’s win over HHH means nothing because we’re still waiting on him to get his title back from Goldberg. The normal question would be “well if that match didn’t count, why should I watch the next pay per view?” but that’s answered because everything gets important as soon as HHH gets the title back. This was all about rebuilding HHH, because Heaven forbid we go a DAY without him getting the upper hand on Goldberg.

Post match HHH says he’s cashing in his rematch next week. Tonight isn’t over though and he wraps a chair around Goldberg’s neck, drawing out Kane for the unlikely save. A sloppy chokeslam plants Goldberg to end the show instead.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the worst here but the important thing was the storytelling. HHH aside, this show moved a lot of the stories in new and/or positive directions. Trish/Lita/Jericho/Christian in particular is really shaping up and there are several ways they could go with it. Throw in a lot of people having issues with Bischoff and the need for some fresh names to rise up and fight him and I’m actually interested in where some of this stuff goes. Better show than recent weeks, and I’m curious to see where a lot of it goes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2018
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s time to change things up a lot with the first half of the Superstar Shakeup. In case you didn’t get enough new names last week, this time around we should be getting a bunch of Smackdown names heading over to the red show. How will the names be picked? Who might be coming? That’s not important enough to announce in advance so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to start things off. He gives us a quick introduction but here’s Sunil Singh to announce that Jinder Mahal is now on Raw. Jinder isn’t happy that he was brought here in an SUV because he only travels in a limousine with a motorcade. Angle doesn’t like some of this but wants to be treated like Brock Lesnar around here. Kurt suggests that Jinder email him his issues and gives Sunil his address: Kurt.Angle (which he has to spell) @ NOFREAKINGWAY.com. We settle things in the ring here so it’s time for a title match RIGHT NOW.

US Title: Jinder Mahal vs. Jeff Hardy

Mahal is defending. The fans are behind Hardy (because they have taste) as he slugs away in the corner. A dropkick to the back of the head and a clothesline off the apron rock Mahal and we take a break. Back with Jeff in a chinlock for a good while until a big right hand drops him on the apron. Jeff is fine enough to shove him off the top though and the Whisper in the Wind gets a breather.

Sunil gets dropkicked down (and hopefully shut up) and a basement dropkick gets two on his boss. Things are starting to pick up but a jumping knee to the face looks to set up the Khallas (which Cole calls a half nelson slam). Jeff slips out so a big boot to the face gives Mahal two more. A Twisting Stunner out of nowhere drops Mahal though and the Swanton gives Hardy the title at 11:27.

Rating: C-. Not a great match (to be fair, Mahal) but Jeff winning the title is a great way to get him back on the fast track (and to give hope to impaired drivers everywhere). Hopefully Mahal falls WAY down the ladder now, though I’m curious to see what happens to Orton’s title shot as a result. Just please not another triple threat. Is that too much to ask for?

Post break Jinder rants about being disrespected and wants his rematch at the Greatest Royal Rumble. No Way Jose with the Conga Line interrupts and takes Renee Young off with him.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

This is a grudge match after weeks of simmering tensions. Bayley slips off the middle rope but shrugs off a chop and throws Sasha out to the floor. A hurricanrana through the ropes drops Sasha and we take a break. Back with Sasha holding a chinlock until Bayley drives her into the corner for a break. That’s certainly a different one and I’ll take that over the traditional elbows to the ribs.

The Stunner over the middle rope keeps Sasha in trouble so she kicks Bayley in the head and sends her outside again. This isn’t exactly seething with hatred so far. Back in and the top rope double knees get two before it’s time for the trash talk. Sasha goes one step too far and slaps Bayley in the face, triggering what looks like a hockey fight. Sasha gets the better of it again and hits the running knees in the corner. Bayley tries a rollup but gets reversed into the Bank Statement. She’s in big trouble but here’s the Riott Squad for the no contest at 8:55.

Rating: C. This was cranked up from a five to a twelve in the last two minutes or so but I’m assuming they’ll save the big match for later. The Riott Squad to Raw makes sense as Absolution has no reason to stay together and the Iconics can be the villainous group over on Smackdown. I’m fine with everything here, including Bayley vs. Sasha once they turned it up.

Sasha and Bayley take another beating post match.

Heath Slater and Rhyno are ready for the Authors of Pain tonight.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Authors of Pain

Slater and Rhyno jump the Authors before the bell and actually take over. A top rope ax handle drops Akum but he shoves Slater away and brings in Rezar. Slater gets lifted up for a double gutbuster but slips out of a powerslam for the hot tag to Rhyno. A belly to belly gets two on Rezar but Slater gets sent HARD to the floor. The Last Chapter ends Rhyno at 2:37.

It’s time for MizTV with some special guests who will change Raw forever: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, who Cole flat out said COULD NOT be included in the Shakeup. Cole brings it up again here but Coach and Graves basically tell him to get over it. The five of them have a group hug with Miz saying this is better than the NWO and calls the team better than the Avengers. They won’t be held down by Shane McMahon or Kurt Angle, the latter of whom comes out with a rebuttal.

Apparently this can’t happen but Owens says plans have changed. There was an email sent out earlier tonight and Sami has printed it out. With his glasses on (that’s funny for some reason), Sami reads that Angle’s decision on Sami and Kevin’s status has been overturned because Stephanie McMahon thinks they proved themselves last week.

Owens is thrilled but Angle has some news: Miz is now going to Smackdown, as per Daniel Bryan’s request. Miz takes it in stride but gets even more bad news: the Miztourage is staying on Raw. For a going away present though, the five of them can face Finn Balor, Seth Rollins, Bobby Lashley, Braun Strowman and someone making their Raw debut.

Tag Team Title Eliminator Finals: Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

The winners face the Bar, on commentary, for the titles in Saudi Arabia. Matt’s I WILL DELETE YOU now leads into Bray’s music for a combined entrance. Dawson and Hardy start things off with Scott not being able to do much with the odd Matt. It’s off to Bray and Wilder with Wyatt doing his spider bridge, allowing Matt to offer a distraction. A double back elbow (with Bray’s not quite connecting) puts Wilder down and Bray slams Scott on top of him. Matt: “That move was WONDERFUL!”

Back in and the Revival elbows Matt down with Scott grabbing a chinlock. Dawson draws Bray in to keep Matt in trouble, including a double headbutt. Matt gets in a Side Effect and the hot tag brings in Bray for the big right hands. A running corner splash and release Rock Bottom have Wilder in trouble. Everything breaks down and Sister Abigail plants Dawson, followed by an elevated Twist of Fate to end Dawson at 5:06.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here with the right team winning. Revival is in need of a change but there’s only so much you can do when the Bar is the top team on the show. They’re better off facing teams like the Usos and New Day, but the big power team on Smackdown doesn’t make things much better. In other words, it’s a bad time to be an old school tag team.

Video on the shows coming together for pay per views, in the form of both rosters coming together for a big song ala We Are The World. This is uh, overthinking things a bit.

Back from a break and the Bar runs into the Fashion Police. Fandango: “Do you have a permit for that mohawk?” The kilts are too much for them and the Bar gets tickets. They’re so mad that they yell as the Fashion Police leave.

Recap of everyone who came to Raw both last week and tonight.

We recap Ronda Rousey attacking Stephanie McMahon last week and hurting her arm even worse.

Rousey is in the back with Angle when the debuting Natalya comes in. It turns out that she and Rousey are old training partners and Natalya seems happy. Nothing else happens in a kind of odd segment, though you can probably bet on Natalya vs. Rousey at Backlash.

Ember Moon vs. Mickie James

Nia Jax is on commentary and Bliss, who isn’t here, is supposed to be. Mickie grabs a headscissors to start before forearming the heck out of Ember. We hit the chinlock and go split screen to hear from Nia…..whose reaction we see instead of the match. Basically Alexa calls Nia a bully and won’t give her the satisfaction of being out here. Moon fights up but gets dropped again with a neckbreaker for two. A suplex serves her a bit better and the flipping forearm in the corner rocks Mickie. The Eclipse (with Mickie flipping over like Rock taking a Stunner) gives Ember the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Kind of a dull match but the Eclipse is all that matters with Moon. There’s a good chance that she’ll wind up facing Nia for the title one day soon and that could make for a nice brawl. Moon might not be the best choice in the world but she’s a shot in the arm for the division, which is needed with Nia in charge.

Owens and Zayn are worried about the ten man tag when Miz comes in to ask how Shane is at the moment. Sami doesn’t want to hear about it right now because they have bigger things to worry about tonight. The Miztourage is talking about something else but Miz calls them over, saying mourn tomorrow and focus today. This is Miz’s Raw finale so it needs to be must see. It seems like he has an idea.

Dolph Ziggler is back on Monday Night Raw and talks about how great he is. Cue Titus Worldwide to offer him a spot on the team. Ziggler doesn’t think so, but he’s also not on Raw alone. Cue Drew McIntyre, now a heel, and apparently aligned with Ziggler. The big beatdown is on and a Claymore/Zig Zag combo drops Apollo. The fans seem very pleased with McIntyre being back, but don’t worry: Ziggler will suck the life out of that as soon as possible.

Here’s Roman Reigns to talk about how he’s here again tonight, unlike Brock Lesnar. He’ll win the title in Saudi Arabia and bring it back here full time. Cue Samoa Joe to say Reigns is a great talker but never talks about getting the job done. I remember him doing plenty of jobs. Joe talks about how Reigns can never put him away and at Backlash, he’ll put Reigns to sleep again.

We see a video of Lesnar destroying Reigns at Wrestlemania so Reigns wants to fight now. Joe comes down the ramp twice before walking away, as expected. Again: if they want Reigns as a big deal, DON’T PUT HIM OUT THERE WITH PEOPLE WHO SLAUGHTER HIM ON THE MIC!

Mandy Rose vs. Natalya

Absolution still comes out to Paige’s music. Natalya gets a rollup for two but a Sonya Deville distraction lets Mandy get in a jumping knee to the face. Back in and we hit an abdominal stretch to keep Natalya in trouble but a quick Sharpshooter makes Mandy tap at 2:49.

Post match Sonya comes in for the beatdown but Ronda Rousey (awkwardly) walks down the ramp for the save. Deville actually wants to fight so Rousey gives her a look as if to say “seriously?” Rousey knocks Deville out in all of five seconds, hitting about ten punches and a legsweep to send Deville packing.

Baron Corbin is coming to Raw. Is anyone left on Smackdown?

Breezango vs. The Bar

Fandango steals Cesaro’s jacket to start and throws it on, followed by a hip swivel while blocking a sunset flip. Breeze comes in and eats Swiss Death to change control in a hurry. We hit the chinlock from Cesaro, followed by one from Sheamus to really mix things up. Cesaro gets two off a Demolition Decapitator but Fandango pulls Sheamus off the apron, allowing Breeze to get a sunset flip for the pin on Cesaro at 3:49.

Rating: D+. So we have two options here: a triple threat at Greatest Royal Rumble or ignoring this match for the sake of illogical booking. Breezango has potential to be a very nice team but for some reason they’ve lost a lot of steam. That might change here with no Usos or New Day to outshine them and I heartily appreciate this.

Elias isn’t playing tonight and doesn’t think much of Lashley. A lot has changed since Lashley was last here so he should go sit in the stands and worship Elias like everyone else. If Lashley interrupts him again, he’ll learn that WWE stands for Walk With Elias. Elias won’t perform for the people, but he might for Renee in a private concert. All she has to do is hold her applause and silence her cell phone. She says we don’t have time so he starts playing, only to be cut off to throw it back to Cole.

Seth Rollins/Bobby Lashley/Braun Strowman/Finn Balor/??? vs. The Miz/Miztourage/Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Back again with Owens hammering on Rollins and putting on that unbreakable chinlock. Miz grabs the short DDT and busts out the YES Kicks one more time before going over to Smackdown. Everything breaks down with Strowman shoving around Owens and Zayn before Roode takes over on Axel. A chop block cuts Roode down but he counters the Figure Four into a small package for two. The hot tag brings in Strowman to clean house, including a chokeslam to Miz.

Strowman runs into Dallas in the corner, which is called him hitting the post for reasons of bad timing. Seth dives onto Axel and the Glorious DDT drops Sami. The parade of finishers begins until we’re down to Miz vs. Strowman with the running dropkicks actually staggering the big man. Strowman comes back with a dropkick of his own and the Miztourage walks out on Miz, leaving Strowman to powerslam him for the pin at 22:11.

Rating: C+. Nice main event tag to wrap things up, especially with the Miztourage turning on Miz, as they should. Miz is the kind of guy who can take a loss like this and then regroup on Smackdown without missing a beat. Just give him Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin as the new Miztourage (like they have anything better to do) and he’ll be fine. Lashley looked great here, but the rest were kind of lost in the shuffle. Not a bad way to end the show though, as we needed a longer match for a change.

Overall Rating: B-. I was mostly liking the show, though I liked the original version last week a little bit better. This felt very similar to the post Wrestlemania show and again shows why this needed to be done around Summerslam instead of a week after Wrestlemania. They had a bunch of big names come over to Raw but they need several going to Smackdown to balance this out again. Right now Smackdown is looking barren and some fresh talent could help them out a lot. I liked this show well enough though and it worked well in almost every area it needed to.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Jinder Mahal – Swanton Bomb

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley went to a no contest when the Riott Squad interfered

Authors of Pain b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Last Chapter to Rhyno

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Revival – Elevated Twist of Fate to Wilder

Ember Moon b. Mickie James – Eclipse

Natalya b. Mandy Rose – Sharpshooter

Braun Strowman/Seth Rollins/Finn Balor/Bobby Lashley/Bobby Roode b. The Miz/Miztourage/Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Running powerslam to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2018
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

As usual, this could be the most interesting show of the year. Tonight could be filled with major angles, returns and surprises, all of which could become big deals in a hurry. Or it could be all about Roman Reigns, who managed to not win the Universal Title from Brock Lesnar last night. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck on the opposite side from the hard camera, looking nearly straight down at the ring.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon, walking very slowly and with her arm in a cast after last night, to open the show. Cole talks about how Ronda Rousey’s debut may be the best debut in Wrestlemania history. Does that mean the best wrestler to debut at Wrestlemania (As in she’s better than Fandango and Baron Corbin? Or the best ever first match at Wrestlemania? I’m thinking someone else has probably done it better before). Stephanie talks about the post Wrestlemania crowd having an international flavor (Is that an insult?) but she expected at least SOME sympathy.

She did tap out last night but the fans have to admit that one woman did everything she could last night and made the transition. Yes Stephanie did make that transition and was amazing so she deserves all the praise. This brings out Rousey to a very nice reception (which she earned) and even Stephanie gives her credit for last night. Rousey is a role model and a superstar and with Stephanie guiding her, they can reach new heights. The fans tell Stephanie to shut the F up so Stephanie calls Rousey her friend….and offers a handshake.

Now if you don’t know where this is going and yeah I’m not even going to finish that. Rousey hugs her and smiles before shifting to the death stare. Stephanie gets taken down by the bad arm and Rousey takes the brace off to crank it back all over again. Referees run in for the late save and Rousey is all smiles. She’s getting better at the facial expressions and really does come off like a star. Medics come out to check on Stephanie and the fans tell her that she deserves it. As she’s leaving, JoJo asks for a little respect for Stephanie. I was hoping that made the broadcast because it made me laugh in my seat.

My issues with Stephanie are fairly well known but I LOVED this. The key to Stephanie is her being in on the joke and that doesn’t happen very often. This time she was in full on obnoxious heel mode but with a bit of a wink to the camera that she knew she was about to be destroyed. That made this workable because she was FINALLY getting what was coming to her. I know you can’t have it happen all the time, but once a year isn’t quite often enough.

The announcers do their usual “this crowd is insane” speech. Good to see them cover themselves like that as the fans actually get through for a change.

The Superstar Shakeup is confirmed, thereby making almost everything you see here tonight a lot less important.

Here’s Nia Jax for a tag match with a surprise partner. The fans tell Nia that she deserves it but Bliss doesn’t seem to share the mentality. Apparently Nia is the real bully here, even bigger than Rousey. Bliss talks about Nia being so much bigger and running over someone innocent like Mickie. Last night Nia assaulted Mickie before the match and Alexa was competing under emotional distress. Everyone knows how horrible Nia is and that’s why she doesn’t have a partner tonight. Nia: “Shut up Alexa!” She did enjoy what she did to Mickie and Alexa last night and she’s the new Raw Women’s Champion. She does have a partner.

Nia Jax/Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Makes perfect sense (the fans knew too) as Ember clearly wasn’t going to get the title back in NXT and wasn’t going to evolve all that much more down there anyway. Nia throws Mickie across the ring to start (maybe Mickie wasn’t ready) so Mickie kicks her in the knee. Bliss comes in and Nia chokes both of them at once before handing it off to Ember.

The announcers try to explain Ember but realize it’s not that easy because she doesn’t really have a character. Ember enziguris Alexa, slips a bit off a springboard (a quick camera cut protected it very well) and takes Bliss down with a spinning crossbody. A legsweep sets up the Eclipse to end Bliss clean at 3:00.

Rating: C. This was exactly what it needed to be: Ember debuts, gets a huge clean pin over Bliss, and looks awesome in the process. The Eclipse is all she needs to do for a long time as that’s one of the coolest finishers in a long time. Nia as a face could be a work in progress but at least she got the big moment to start.

Braun Strowman comes in to see Kurt Angle and blocks out Nicholas from Kurt’s view. As soon as he steps aside though, the fans go coconuts. Strowman hates to do this but they relinquish the Tag Team Titles. See, Nicholas has a scheduling conflict: he’s still in the fourth grade. As soon as he’s done with school though, they’re coming back to win the titles. Nicholas promises that someone will GET THESE HANDS. If Nicholas makes a cameo in ten years, I can die a happy man.

What doesn’t make me happy though is this whole thing. If they weren’t going to have Strowman keep the titles anyway, then why do the whole thing? Why have the Bar lose to a ten year old and then just drop the titles the next night? Give Strowman a partner who loses the fall and set up something with them. Or bring someone up from NXT to give them an instant rub. Just do ANYTHING but this and it’s an improvement. The more I think about this, the worse it gets, especially since the Bar is likely getting the belts back in Saudi Arabia, making this whole thing just a way to inflate their title count.

No Way Jose debuts next. I’m a big fan and he could open house shows forever, but the same character didn’t work for Adam Rose.

No Way Jose vs. John Skylar

Jose has a Conga line and wins with the pop up right hand in 26 seconds. The entrance is all that matters anyway.

The Bar comes in to say they’re ready to take their titles back. Not so fast though (Kurt: “You guys lost to a freaking ten year old!”) as they can be in the title match, but their opponents will be determined by a four team tournament over the next two weeks.

Tag Team Eliminator First Round: Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Joined in progress with Anderson throwing Dawson around and declaring him a NERD. Revival gets smart by taking out the knee with Wilder cranking back and bending the leg in various odd directions. Dawson dives over to prevent a tag as they’re trying to get that Revival formula going. A big boot to the face is enough to bring in Anderson though and that means HI YAH in the corner. Anderson dives onto Wilder but Dawson rolls through a high crossbody for two (with tights). Everything breaks down and Gallows gets sent into the barricade, leaving Anderson to eat the Shatter Machine for the pin at 3:41 shown.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here due to time and that’s the problem with Revival on the main roster: they’re built around the long matches which allow them to really set something up. That’s not the case on the main roster as they only have a few minutes. You can’t make it work that way and, injuries aside, it’s the biggest reason why the Revival is no longer the Revival.

John Cena Make-A-Wish ad. Thankfully this earns applause, because even Wrestlemania fans have some heart.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. The fans are all about Rollins here with another YOU DESERVE IT chant. Seth says it’s been a long road back but that was the loudest BURN IT DOWN ever. After last night, he’s back and now a Grand Slam winner, just like the rest of the Shield. He talks about how special it was to complete the Grand Slam in front of fans like these but here’s Finn Balor to interrupt.

Balor gets straight to the point: Rollins was the better man last night but there was someone who wasn’t the winner or a loser and that man wants more. He wants to be the first challenger for the Intercontinental Title and Rollins will shake to that. This brings out Miz and the Miztourage with Miz ranting about how Rollins doesn’t deserve to be champion. It was Miz who made the title what it is but he slips up and says he can’t win without the Miztourage backing him up.

Miz is a changed man after becoming a father to his new daughter. Fans: “HE’S GOT KIDS!” Last night, his daughter watched the match in Maryse’s arms and when Miz lost, she started crying. Miz: “You made my little princess cry.” That made Maryse cry and Miz cried when he heard about it. Seth: “That’s what everyone does when they watch you try to wrestle.”

Miz has a rematch clause and since Balor lost last night, he goes to the back of the line. Rollins is ready now but Miz isn’t wrestling in this suit. Instead he’ll do it at Backlash but if they want a fight tonight, a handicap match is fine. Cue the returning Jeff Hardy to even things up and the Miztourage bails.

Back from a break with the six man being set for later.

Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose

Absolution and Bayley are at ringside. Sasha sends her outside for a baseball slide to start as the fans sing about Bayley. A suplex gives Sasha two as Corey is very glad that he gets to commentate both shows, meaning he always gets to see Mandy. Sasha gets dropped throat first across the top rope and we take a break.

Back with Mandy holding an abdominal stretch until Sasha slips out and hits a knee in the corner. The top rope double knees get two and they head outside where Mandy….seems to mistime whatever she was supposed to be ready for. Mandy goes after Bayley, who hits Sasha by mistake in the next logical step. Back in and Mandy knees Sasha in the face for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D. The botches were hurting it but Bayley vs. Banks is what matters most here. Absolution is fine at the moment with Paige being the adviser but I’m not sure how long that’s going to work without another top level star. Mandy and Sonya are getting better but they’re a long way behind the top level talent.

Post match Bayley leaves and Paige talks about how hard it was to be on the sidelines yesterday at Wrestlemania. This ring is her soul but due to neck injuries, her in-ring career is over. The THANK YOU PAIGE chants start up in a hurry and Paige thanks the locker room for growing the division into something they never could have dreamed of. She also wants to thank Daniel Bryan for giving her hope that she might be able to come back some day as well.

Earlier today Edge spoke to her and showed her that there’s life outside of wrestling. Edge has a family and acting career but now Paige has to go find something else. WWE has allowed her to do this for the last four years. She debuted here four years ago and won the Divas Championship so she wants to retire here as well.

Paige starts to cry so we get a THIS IS YOUR HOUSE chant. This will always be her house and she takes the shirt from around her waist, leaving it in the ring before walking up the ramp. I know she’s had some issues over the years but there’s no denying that she played a big role in the Women’s Revolution. It’s a shame that she’s done at such a young age and I hope she gets to do this again someday.

The announcers recap John Cena vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Elias for a song. The fans get that WWE stands for WALK WITH ELIAS and last night they paid for an Elias performance. That means an OH WALK WITH ELIAS chant but Elias calls them scumbags. Fans: “WE ARE SCUMBAGS!” The song is about how he wants to punch the clapping fans in the face….and here’s the returning Bobby Lashley. House is cleaned in a hurry and Lashley hits a delayed vertical suplex (with one arm free at times) to drop Elias. Lashley won’t be around long but let him make an impact while he can.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come to see Kurt Angle to ask for a job. Sure they had a falling out with their management but that won’t happen here. Angle: “My tag team division is full, but I hear that TNA is hiring.” After the line of the year, Angle says he can’t hire them both. He has one spot available so they can wrestle for the contract tonight.

Here are Heath Slater and Rhyno to issue an open challenge. Oh man that’s never a good idea on this show.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Authors of Pain

Pounding abounds and the Last Chapter ends Slater at 49 seconds.

Post match the Authors walk away from Paul Ellering. Maybe he just didn’t want to do the full schedule?

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He took a beating last night but he’s here while Brock Lesnar isn’t. When he got to the Superdome yesterday, no one could look him in the eye. As of this past Wednesday, Lesnar was done and going to the UFC. Now though they have another match in a cage in Saudi Arabia later this month. That means Reigns can win the title there in a match he found out about on the internet. This brings out Samoa Joe to say Reigns exposed Lesnar last night.

For over a year, Reigns has been saying he’s the only one who can beat Lesnar. It doesn’t matter who couldn’t look at Roman because he’s a failure. It also makes him a liar because he can’t beat Brock Lesnar. Every time the Beast meets the Big Dog, the Big Dog gets conquered. After Lesnar makes Reigns fail again, Samoa Joe will be waiting at Backlash to put him to sleep. As usual, Joe was great here with the commanding voice and fire in his eyes. Joe as the new #1 contender could do some great things, especially if he eventually wins the title.

Tag Team Eliminator First Round: Titus Worldwide vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

Before the match, Hardy talks to the Andre the Giant trophy, saying it’s time to start on the expedition of gold. Bray shows up and laughter ensues, allowing them to appear in the ring. Matt and Titus have the required pose off and Matt hammers away. Bray comes in and the fans give him a little He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The announcers discuss whether these chants are more like football games or soccer until Apollo comes in with a flip. Matt and Bray find this WONDERFUL but beat on Apollo anyway. A series of rams into the buckle have Apollo in trouble but he gets in a dropkick to stagger Bray. That just earns him a release Rock Bottom as Titus is knocked to the floor. Bray tosses Apollo into the Twist of Fate (called Sister Abigail into the Twist, which is nonsense) for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with the right team winning. There’s no reason to believe that Titus Worldwide are going to be anything more than jobbers to the stars so having them put Matt and Bray over here was the right call. You can almost guarantee that Bray and Matt are going to the title match and it might be the right move to put the titles on them this soon.

We recap the opening sequence.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

The winner gets a Raw contract. Cole points out that the loser here will NOT be allowed in the Superstar Shakeup, which could make things more interesting. Sami misses the Helluva Kick at the bell and he has to explain the attempt at the fast start. Owens gets low bridged….to the apron as Sami doesn’t get the rope low enough and Owens goes through the ropes instead. He’s smart enough to hammer Sami in the head but gets knocked to the floor for a big flip dive.

A hard right hand breaks up a springboard but Sami catapults him face first into the post. Back in and Sami gets crotched, setting up a Vader Bomb elbow for two. We take a break and come back with Cole sounding like he’s talking to production and Sami getting two off the Blue Thunder Bomb. They head outside again with Sami’s dive through the ropes eating a superkick.

Back in and the frog splash gets two and Owens follows it up with a corner clothesline. He tries another but Sami is right behind him with the Helluva Kick to send him to the apron. There’s the Pop Up Powerbomb but Owens falls to the floor for some reason. Back in and Owens goes up, only to get kicked in the face again. Sami superplexes him down and neither can get up, meaning it’s a double knockout at 10:18.

Rating: B. These two are always penciled in for a solid match and that’s what they had here. I’m not exactly surprised by the ending either, which leaves the story open for a few weeks. They could wind up on either show through one shenanigan or another (say through a new Smackdown GM) or as free agent signings after the Shakeup. Getting a good match out of it helps too.

Post match, the fans chant TNA.

Matt and Jeff run into each other with Matt saying he was glad to hear about Jeff getting over being broken. Jeff left him a message but it must have been DELETED. Matt must have been preparing for Andre’s battle of the giants. Indeed he was, and he won, thanks to the help of an old foe. Bray comes in and hugs Brother Nero, who is glad that Sister Abigail has been rendered OBSOLETE. Bray is now feeling wonderful and walks off with Matt. The camera pans over to Balor and Rollins, who are very confused. Jeff just shrugs and leaves.

Great little segment here, as just putting normal people (Rollins and Balor qualify here) into this strange world that is wrestling makes things all the better. That’s a guaranteed way to get a chuckle in wrestling as these are crazy people doing crazy things but when you live in the wrestling bubble, everything seems fine. Looking at it through the eyes of the normal people makes it all the funnier.

Next week: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks.

Jeff Hardy/Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Before Finn’s entrance, the production crew replaced a piece of the stage, which I thought would be a Rey Mysterio entrance but turned out to just be for the smoke in Balor’s entrance. Miz and Rollins start but let’s hand it off to Axel instead. Rollins kicks both lackeys in the face and it’s off to Jeff for some Poetry in Motion to Axel and Dallas. Finn and Seth play decent Matt’s actually.

Back from a break with Balor coming in and forearming all three villains. Miz offers a distraction though and Dallas decks Balor from behind. Now Miz is glad to come in with a chinlock, followed by the Hennig necksnap from Axel. Dallas drops some knees and grabs a chinlock of his own as we’re not exactly setting any new standards here (as they shouldn’t be here). Balor finally dropkicks Miz down and the hot tag brings in Jeff to clean house.

A Whisper in the Wind takes down the Miztourage as you can see Rollins getting all charged up on the apron. The diving tag brings in Seth with a springboard clothesline to Miz. Rollins suicide dives onto all three of them for a big crash and we hit a BURN IT DOWN chant. Back in and the superplex into the Falcon Arrow (Cole: “Tonight he hits it!” He hit it last night too.) gets two on Miz with Dallas making the save. Finn dives onto Axel and Dallas and the Stomp finishes Miz at 13:56.

Rating: C+. This was just an easy way to end the show and that’s all it needed to be. I would have had Jeff come out later in the night, but that would have meant the lack of the Matt segment so it balances out. Rollins pinning Miz again is fine, especially with the title match already being set. It’s not like Miz is going to be damaged by a loss in a six man tag so this was fine all around.

Post match Dallas takes a Twist of Fate, Coup de Grace, Swanton and Stomp. Axel gets a similar treatment and a Stomp to Miz ends the show.

The dark segment saw Rollins telling the fans to throw in their beach balls. Several fans obliged and the good guys batted them around for a few minutes to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a good time with this show as they went with a string of debuts and returns instead of one or two big angles. They didn’t really have a big moment here but they did set up stuff for both the Greatest Royal Rumble and Backlash. The problem with that is it made things feel like they were flying through tonight instead of actually focusing here, which is understandable given how the fans can react to something they don’t like. All in all though, this was a VERY entertaining show and makes things rather interesting going into next week’s Shakeup.

Results

Ember Moon/Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Eclipse to Bliss

No Way Jose b. John Skylar – Pop Up Punch

Revival b. Anderson and Gallows – Shatter Machine to Anderson

Mandy Rose b. Sasha Banks – Knee to the face

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Titus Worldwide – Twist of Fate to Apollo

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens went to a double knockout

Seth Rollins/Finn Balor/Jeff Hardy b. Miz/Miztourage – Stomp to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 10, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and since the card is mostly set, tonight is going to be all about the hard sell. While there are several options for building to the elimination match, odds are we’re going to have to listen to HHH talk about his match with Goldberg and that’s not a series of statements I’m likely to survive. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lita to get things going. She talks about how coming back was a big deal but winning the title back on Sunday will be even bigger. Cue HHH (JR: “IS THIS WHO WE THINK IT IS???” Well who else would be coming out to HHH’s music Jim?) with Evolution to interrupt. Lita asks if she can help them and HHH asks Orton for a dollar. Unless she plans on stripping and dancing for the dollar, she can leave right now.

With Lita gone, HHH shows us a clip of Batista returning and breaking Goldberg’s ankle. HHH makes a lot of threats about Sunday but here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin doesn’t want to hear this but HHH accuses him of trying to have one last Stone Cole moment before he’s fired.

Insults about Sunday’s elimination match are made until Austin asks HHH if he’s planning on wrestling tonight. HHH hadn’t planned on it so Austin tells him to get out. A brawl is teased but Austin says he can do it in six days. For now though, security can come out and escort HHH out of the building. HHH says he’s leaving on his own and threatens to sue if he’s harmed at all. What a waste of ten minutes.

In the back, Team Bischoff laughs at Austin but here’s Team Austin to insult them right back. Matches are imminent.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Van Dam is defending. Rob wastes no time in getting two off a monkey flip (yeah they’re really trying to get that over) as Lawler doesn’t know the difference between the near and far legs on a cover. A thumb to the eye sets up a DDT for two on Van Dam and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Rob catches him with a spinwheel kick in the corner as JR and King debate Christian’s level of creepy. The split legged moonsault gets two but a distracted referee lets Christian get in a low blow. Christian does the bring in the belt so he can use a chair trick but gets kicked down again. The Five Star retains the title.

Rating: D+. You can tell when Van Dam isn’t trying and that was clearly the case here. There’s not much you can get out of him when he just wants to do signature spots and unfortunately that’s been the case for a long time now. Maybe he can bring something out at Survivor Series but at this point I’m not really counting on it.

Shane McMahon is at a restaurant and gets a table for two.

Here’s Coach in a Yankees jersey with something to say. He gets in Lillian’s face and says he’s replacing her for losing her chair (the one Christian picked up) in the last match.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

It’s a brawl on the floor before the bell until the French guys take Rosey down to actually start. The French dance sets up more shots to the leg but a Samoan drop gets Rosey out of trouble. Hurricane comes in to clean house (JR: “The man with green hair.”) as everything breaks down. Rosey gets knocked outside and a swinging neckbreaker of all things ends Hurricane.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but La Resistance are getting better. There’s still nothing to the characters as they’re just Vince getting out his anger over real world events but at least the in-ring stuff is getting smoother. Imagine that: getting rid of the utterly worthless Grenier and replacing him with another OVW talent works that much better.

Terri is worried about having to wrestle tonight but Lita says it’s going to be fine. Bischoff comes in to tell Terri to go find something less appropriate to wear in the ring. As for Lita, she needs to get ready to “play ball” once Austin is gone. As usual, this doesn’t feel right from Bischoff.

Jericho fires up Team Bischoff. Orton comes in and says he’ll save the day on Sunday. The team isn’t convinced. Long: “That’s one cocky cracker.”

Val Venis sneaks his two women into the locker room and one of them gets to see Lance Storm in the shower. They’re rather impressed.

Shane is ready to order but says he has a guest coming so he’ll wait. JR: “Who’s his guest?” Normally I can tolerate JR but this is stupid even for him.

Lita/Terri vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Coach announces Lita and Terri at a combined weight of 310lbs to annoy JR even more. Terri is in a dress and starts for whatever reason with Gail planting her off a side slam. Lawler freaks out over seeing Terri’s underwear and it’s off to Molly for more beating. JR figures out the obvious about Shane’s guest as Terri makes a comeback and brings in Lita. Not that it matters as Molly sends her into Gail and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Post match Gail rips Terri’s dress mostly off for fan service. The idea here is that this is what the women are going to be used to under Bischoff’s control. Well it’s under Austin’s co-control right now and it’s still happening so what difference does it make?

We look back at Randy Orton cheating to beat Shawn Michaels at Unforgiven.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair isn’t here tonight and the teammates are barred from ringside. Orton takes him into the corner for some uppercuts to start but gets chopped for his efforts. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music so Shawn punches him down for two instead. Shawn tries to get a bit too fast though and gets sidestepped to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Orton hammers away, with Lawler saying his fist is on Shawn’s chin like melted pizza cheese.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before the exchange of strikes goes to Shawn. There’s the forearm into the nipup but the ref gets bumped. The backbreaker drops Shawn again and Orton grabs a chair, only to get backdropped through it instead. Now Sweet Chin Music can connect for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty standard TV match with Shawn not really doing anything too fancy. It also doesn’t help that Shawn pins Orton six days before one of the biggest matches of Orton’s career but you knew he would get his win back as soon as possible. Not bad but too short to mean anything.

Shane eats appetizers and here’s Kane as his guest. They glare a bit until Shane promises that Sunday will be their last fight. Shane talks about how whoever goes into the ambulance is done for good so Kane asks how Linda is doing. He electrocuted Shane’s testicles so Shane could never have kids. Kane: “Did I succeed?” Kane doesn’t know love so Shane must know pain. Shane says Kane is pathetic instead of evil. He knows Kane is scared and everyone, even Kane’s brother, knows it. On Sunday, he’s being put out of his misery. Shane leaves, thankfully paying first. This was, in a word, stupid.

Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Mark Henry

Non-title. Steiner hammers on D-Von to start but gets shoulder blocked and legdropped. Bubba and Henry come in with Mark shoving him hard into the corner. The slow beating continues so D-Von comes in, earning both Dudleys a clothesline of their own. Steiner’s pushup elbow gets two but D-Von elbows him down.

The hot tag brings in Bubba as everything breaks down again. Bubba’s running clothesline manages to put Henry down but Steiner chairs Bubba in the back to break up the 3D. Of note: we’ve had five matches tonight and three of them have involved the usage of a chair. At some point you need to come up with something fresh.

Rating: D-. Long, slow, boring and just bad, but what were you expecting from the team of Scott Steiner and Mark Henry? There’s not much you can do when Henry is probably the better option of the two and Bubba and D-Von aren’t that level of miracle workers. Hopefully Steiner and Henry don’t last long on Sunday.

Post match Henry and Steiner destroy the Dudleys.

Austin is annoyed and Bischoff AGAIN points out that Austin has to trust people. They’ve beaten that into our heads for weeks now but one more time can’t possibly hurt anything right?

Clip of Lebron James in the front row last week. This week: some New England Patriots are here.

A backstage worker brings Jericho some water but he yells at her for taking too long. Trish Stratus pops in and doesn’t like what she saw so Jericho apologizes. They actually agree to go on a date. I love how we only get a little bit of this every week and it’s taking its time for a change. You don’t get that often enough.

Michael Cole and Tazz run down Smackdown’s half of the card. JR and King do the same with the red side.

Booker T. is reading WWE Unscripted with John Heidenreich. Apparently John wants to get a copy for Little Johnny for Christmas. Someone knocks on the door but there’s only a note addressed to Booker saying I STILL REMEMBER.

Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho

Booker gets in a hiptoss to start but misses the side kick and crotches himself on the ropes instead. A top rope elbow to the jaw gives Jericho two and we hit the chinlock. Jericho’s sleeper drop gets two and Booker is right back up with a right hand. The Book End doesn’t work but Booker grabs his spinning rollup into a crucifix out of the corner for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. Another victim of the time issue here as Team Austin continues to win the night. That doesn’t bode well for them on Sunday but at least they went with a logical build towards the pay per view. I’m glad they went with this over a week rather than doing it for a month or so on end as you would see today.

Post match Jericho puts him in the Walls as the rest of Team Bischoff comes in for the beatdown. Team Austin makes the save and takes care of Coach for running his mouth a little too much. Standard operating procedure here.

Video on Shane vs. Kane. That dinner scene was suffering enough.

Goldberg vs. Batista

Non-title. Goldberg, with a broken ankle, doesn’t even take the title off before gorilla pressing Batista without much effort. Without much height either but he’s hurt. Batista heads outside and grabs the leg to ram it into the apron. A shot into the post makes things even worse and a spinebuster plants Goldberg. The spear cuts Batista in half but here’s HHH for the quick DQ. Well duh.

HHH gets in the Pedigree but goes for the sledgehammer, allowing Goldberg to spear him down. A hammer shot to Batista sends HHH bailing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was as ho hum of a go home show as you could have gotten and since those are often bad in the first place, the show was made even worse. The Survivor Series match looks good but HHH vs. Goldberg and Shane vs. Kane are both death. Maybe the Smackdown side can help but at this point, Sunday is looking pretty rough indeed. Bad show here, but more uninteresting and uninspired than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 3, 2003
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The slow road to Survivor Series continues but you can at least see where most things are heading. In this case we have Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff with several members of both teams already announced. Other than that it’s Goldberg vs. HHH for the World Title and Shane McMahon vs. Kane for the sake of pushing Shane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Those horrible Canadians come in through the crowd for a blindside attack but get sent outside for their efforts. Rob dives onto the two of them and Booker elbows Christian in the face for two. It’s off to Rob for some kicks to Jericho’s jaw but Christian saves Booker’s spinning kick. A double noggin knocker (I never get tired of saying that) has the Canadians in trouble but Christian is right back with a dropkick for two on Booker as the villains finally take over.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Booker gets in another kick (we get it already) and it’s off to Rob for even more kicks. Rob throws them into each other and hits a big flip dive off the top to take Christian down. The split legged moonsault gets two on Jericho and there’s the Spinarooni because that’s a logical offensive strategy. Jericho uses the dance break to send Booker outside and the sleeper drop (with Christian holding Rob’s foot) gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad at all with a nice preview of the upcoming Survivor Series match. There’s not much else you can do to set up the match so you might as well throw them out there for some basic matches like this. The cheating finish helps too as it makes Austin even more paranoid, which is often the best Austin.

Austin isn’t happy and runs into Coach, who accepts the offer of the post match interview. That’s fine, but Coach needs to remember that if Austin’s team loses, he has nothing to lose. Now Austin has to do something he never thought he would do.

Molly Holly isn’t worried about losing the title to Lita because the comeback story isn’t happening. She slaps Terri and beats her into the arena and down the ramp. Terri fights back for a few seconds until Lita runs out for the save. Cue Gail Kim in disguise as a fan to hit Lita with a wrench. A double DDT plants Lita, because that’s much more effective than HITTING HER WITH THE WRENCH.

Austin comes in to see Shawn Michaels and asks if Shawn knows what’s going on. Shawn says yes so Austin explains the whole story to him. That’s rather un-Austin of him. Shawn: “Your point?” Austin says he has four guys but Shawn isn’t following him. An uncomfortable Austin can’t bring himself to ask Shawn for help so Michaels does it for him.

Austin FINALLY makes the invite so Shawn talks about their time as a tag team (there’s a period you don’t hear about very often). That annoys Austin even more but he finally says he needs Shawn. The only answer is that Austin has a problem on his hands. Oh and he’s in. This was awkward but I liked Shawn messing with Austin, who isn’t in this position very often.

Lita is getting her neck looked at when a concerned Christian comes in. She doesn’t seem to care one way or another.

Some kid named LeBron James is in the front row. I’m not familiar.

Batista vs. Maven

Maven charges at the ring and flails away with forearms to the back until a spinebuster puts the world back as it should be. Batista sends him into the steps and then onto the apron, followed by a hard clothesline. Maven’s right hands have no effect and Batista clotheslines him out of the air. A powerbomb (not yet the Batista Bomb) ends Maven in short order.

Kane is next to an ambulance and explains the concept of an ambulance match. He asks if Shane knows what that’s like….and we go to a first person perspective of someone being loaded into an ambulance. Kane promises Shane is going to the hospital DOA.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are ready to beat the Dudleys, even if the Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Can we at least get them matching gear?

Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

Non-title. Jindrak and D-Von start things off with a flying shoulder putting Mark down. Cade comes in and gets elbowed down as this isn’t looking good for the rookies. It’s off to Bubba for a legsweep which seems to fire him up for some reason. Cade gets in his own middle rope shoulder for two as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Shawn and Austin. For once, that’s perfectly acceptable as it’s almost impossible to get interested in these two.

A snapmare takes D-Von down and Cade, with a bloody mouth, grabs a chinlock. Back up and D-Von suplexes his way to freedom. Bubba cleans house off the hot tag but here’s Scott Steiner to gorilla press Stacy Keibler on the stage. The distraction lets Jindrak get in a cheap shot and rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but I’ll give them points for actually trying something with Jindrak and Cade. I mean, they’re not trying the right stuff but at least they’re trying something. If nothing else at least they set up the Bischoff vs. Austin match a little more, which is a good idea as we’re so close to the pay per view.

There are chairs and a table in the ring for a sitdown interview between Austin and Bischoff. Eric eventually comes out and says he’s been finalizing some details. That would be the fifth member of his team, who recently beat the fifth member of Austin’s team. Cue Randy Orton, who says he’s a legend killer about to take down the biggest legend of all in Austin. Steve is ready to go fight but Bischoff says that can’t happen, which is why they’re fighting at Survivor Series.

The contract is signed and Bischoff says for once, Austin has to trust someone. Austin says he hasn’t been himself in a long time but he also lives by the idea of beating up as many people as possible. If he can’t be his old self, he might as well hang it up for good. He thinks it’s worth the risk and win or lose, Bischoff is ready for a beating. More threats wrap things up. Austin having to change is interesting, but they’re running out of ways to keep him around like this without having him wrestle, which is of course impossible.

Post break Batista tells Austin that he doesn’t fight anymore because of guys like him, not some contractual mandate. Austin has lost his nerve.

Rico vs. Lance Storm

Val Venis is at ringside, accompanied by some ladies. Jerry thinks he saw some of them on “Spank-o-Vision” the other night. Lance wastes no time in hitting a leg lariat but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A running knee to the face gives Rico two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Storm scores with a clothesline and the half crab makes Rico tap.

Post match Lance dances with Val and his ladies. I’m sure this is going to go somewhere.

Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus run into each other in the back with Chris talking about trying to get Trish’s number. Trish says all he had to do is ask and Jericho smiles. He’s worried about her having to team with John Heidenreich (now with a contract) tonight because John is always talking about Little Johnny. It’s cool though because she saw Little Johnny earlier today. Jericho panics but Heidenreich comes in and says their match is up next. Trish says she’ll see Jericho later.

Video on the recent tour of Ohio.

Trish Stratus/John Heidenreich vs. Steven Richards/Victoria

The guys start things off as JR can’t figure out what Little Johnny is. A spinning atomic drop puts Richards on the floor and Heidenreich is fired u. That means it’s off to Trish vs. Victoria with Trish hammering away as Jericho looks on approvingly from the back. The threat of Stratusfaction draws Richards in for a cheap shot and Trish is in trouble. Victoria goes old school with an over the shoulder backbreaker into a Dominator for two as Jericho is getting more and more nervous.

Trish finally gets away and makes the hot tag off to Heidenreich so some house can be cleaned. Something like a Boss Man Slam gives him two but Trish has to pull Victoria off of John’s back. There’s the Thesz press off the apron (Jerry: “I THINK I SAW A PUPPY!”), leaving Heidenreich to finish with a powerbomb (to the side instead of forward) for the pin.

Rating: D. Heidenreich has a good look and some power and right now, that’s all he needs to be doing. The Trish and Jericho thing is just getting started and that’s one of the coolest things that WWE has going right now. It’s actual character development and I want to see how awesome it gets over the next few weeks. Victoria vs. Trish on the other hand….not too much as I’ve just seen it too often.

Austin is now guest referee for Shawn vs. Henry.

Raw half of the Survivor Series rundown.

Sgt. Slaughter gives Kane a letter from Shane McMahon. Kane reads it and laughs, saying the invitation for next week is accepted.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mark Henry

Austin is guest enforcer on the floor. They waste no time in locking up and Henry easily powers him into the corner. Shawn goes for the knee but makes the mistake of charging at Henry and getting taken down. The quick left hands have some more success but Teddy Long grabs Shawn’s foot.

Henry gets low bridged to the floor and Austin ejects Long. A posting has Shawn in trouble and Henry takes his head off with a clothesline for two. The bearhug goes on and Shawn’s chops get him out for a bit, only to have Henry whip him into the corner. Henry pulls him off the top in a heap but misses a Vader Bomb, setting up Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C-. Shawn could do this match in his sleep and as usual, his selling was perfectly fine to get to the ending. I don’t think anyone was expecting Henry to do anything but power stuff here and that’s all he should be trying at this point. Not a good match or anything, but Shawn made it much better than probably anyone else was going to do at this point.

Post match Austin has something to say, albeit without Shawn in the ring. Austin calls Batista out and after a break, the fight is on. Batista is tossed to the floor and Henry comes back in for a Stunner, allowing Batista to stomp Austin down. Cue a limping Goldberg with a chair to cave in Henry’s skull, followed by spears to Batista and Flair. Austin offers a beer and Goldberg agrees….for a match against Batista next week. The match is made to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not the worst show in the world but they’re setting things up for Survivor Series. That being said, they’re not even hiding that Austin vs. Bischoff is the big match, even though Goldberg vs. HHH is going to main event because HHH must main event. The rest of the show isn’t great, but when you have twelve people (plus the unofficial Batista) connected to one match, there’s not much else you can do. I’m getting more interested in Survivor Series though and that’s happening at the right time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2018
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

Should he do something? Over the last few weeks, John Cena has come off as a complete jerk to Undertaker, basically demanding that Undertaker come out of what seems to be retirement to face him. Why would Undertaker do this? Well apparently because the people want to see it and nearly thirty years in WWE isn’t enough to make them happy. Or so Cena says. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Coach in the ring to emcee a sitdown between Stephanie McMahon (Who dances to the ring and looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I know she’s the boss and all that jazz, but could you PLEASE look at least a little worried? It’s Ronda Rousey, not Dana Brooke. This feels like Hollywood Hogan coming to the ring at Starrcade 1997 and that’s not a good thing), HHH, Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey.

Stephanie mocks the fans for cheering for Rousey and HHH calls Angle’s third I (intelligence) into question. Rousey should be the biggest signing WWE could ever have and Angle is giving her a match on the biggest stage of them all. This is a whopper even for Angle and HHH needs to know why. Rousey cuts Angle off and says she’d like to know too. Why did they sign her under ulterior motives?

Stephanie says Rousey doesn’t quite get how it works around here and promises to teach her the right way after she’s broken down on Sunday. Rousey knows the format and wants her answer so Stephanie says the two of them work for her. Why did Angle cost Rousey (HHH: “And WWE. Thanks Kurt.”) millions of dollars. Angle says she’s RONDA FREAKING ROUSEY and says she’ll make Stephanie tap on Sunday.

HHH laughs it off and we get some questions from Twitter, mainly asking how big this is. Stephanie promises to give Rousey a loss in her first WWE match. Rousey asks if Stephanie is right or left handed. Stephanie: “I’m a rightie.” Rousey: “Good. I just want to make sure you can still sign my checks after I rip your arm off.”

They go for the photo op and a brawl is imminent but HHH breaks it up. Rousey chokes him down but Stephanie slowly slams her through a table. Stephanie brought the annoying here but Rousey’s comeback line (which she stumbled through at the end) wasn’t being topped. If Stephanie doesn’t tap on Sunday though (or at least lose), I don’t know what to tell you.

Bayley vs. Sonya Deville

Bayley wastes no time with a crossbody for two before Sonya goes after the arm. That earns her a takedown out of the corner but Sonya stomps on Bayley to take us to a break. Back with Bayley in a chinlock but fighting back as you might have expected. Bayley knocks her into the corner and goes up top for a high crossbody and no cover. Even Coach wants to know why that wasn’t a cover. Bayley’s running knee to the head gets two and Sonya bails to the floor. That’s not happening as Bayley throws her back in and finishes with a rollup at 9:55.

Rating: D+. Deville isn’t the most interesting character, especially now that you have Rousey as the real MMA woman on the roster. She’s fine in spots like this though and that makes for some perfectly acceptable performances. Bayley was smart for once here by throwing Sonya back in instead of letting her get regrouped with Absolution, meaning her character is actually changing a bit.

Post match the beatdown is on with Sasha Banks running in for the save. Sasha says she wants her hand raised but Bayley will have none of it. A brawl breaks out and Absolution comes back in to beat them both down.

We get a By the Numbers video on Asuka’s streak. This was done before but the numbers are updated here.

265 Wins

0 Losses

35 Women

4 Continents represented

11 Countries represented

8 Former champions submitted

523 Days as NXT Women’s Champion

7^th Longest Reign of all time

1^st Woman to be a Survivor Series sole survivor and win a Royal Rumble

29 Women defeated in the Royal Rumble

15 Former Women’s Champions in the Rumble

904 Days undefeated

Congratulations to Miz and Maryse’s daughter.

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Miz is on commentary as they fight over wristlocks to start. With no one being able to get an advantage, Miz gives a heartfelt speech about how he’s main evented Wrestlemania and won the WWE World Title, but watching his daughter being born was the greatest moment of his life. He held her in his arms and heard her cry and then stop crying. Miz wants her to grow up and be able to be proud of her daddy because having a baby changes people. If Miz isn’t a face off that speech, he’s never going to be again. That was very sweet to hear.

Anyway it’s a standoff as we take an early break. Back with Cole asking Miz if the birth of his daughter is going to make him change his in-ring style. Miz seems to say that it will and promises to give the performance of a lifetime on Sunday. Rollins and Balor slug it out until Seth’s Blockbuster gets two. We hit a chinlock on Balor and get a commercial for AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (good idea actually).

Back (from a split screen) with Balor fighting up and hitting the running forearms to the head. Balor’s Eye of the Hurricane gets two but Rollins sends him outside for a big suicide dive and we take another break. Back with Rollins superkicking Balor’s head off for two as the fans think this is awesome. Rollins gets kicked in the face and the Coup de Grace is loaded up, only to have Rollins hit his superplex.

Balor counters that into a small package for two, followed by Seth’s Wind-Up knee for the same. Rollins’ frog splash hits knees and Balor small packages him for two as the fans are WAY into this. They head outside with Rollins loading up the shoulder destroying Buckle Bomb. That’s countered as well and they head back in with a wicked Stomp finishing Balor at 22:03.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah they were feeling it here but above all else, you can’t ignore Miz’s heartfelt talks about his daughter. She’s only six days old at this point and of course his heart is going to be even more touched than ever. That’s the kind of thing that can get Miz cheered, or at least add another layer to his character. The match rocked as these two have some excellent chemistry together, especially in this kind of a hard hitting, back and forth match.

We recap the opening segment.

Announced for the Kickoff Show: both battle royals and the Cruiserweight Title match.

Long video on Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, starting with Brock winning the title last year at Wrestlemania, then skipping about eleven months to Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber and the ensuing beatdowns at Brock’s hands.

Kurt Angle runs into Paul Heyman in the back and asks him not to cause any more drama tonight as he’s worried about Lesnar’s well being. Heyman finds this hilarious but promises to keep it civil tonight.

Here’s the Bar to say they don’t care who Braun Strowman has as a partner. At some point he has to tag them in and that means they can retain the titles. Cue Strowman, to say he doesn’t play well with others. He has to have a partner though and that means he’s got one. That partner is someone in the back and the partner doesn’t appreciate what they were saying.

The Bar wants the partner to come say it to their face. Strowman agrees, but only if the partner can have a match with one of them. Sheamus says it’s on so Strowman goes to get the partner, who is just like him. Strowman leaves and comes back….in a white shirt and glasses. Strowman: “My brother is Braun. I’m BRAINS!”

Brains Strowman vs. Cesaro

The Bar goes after Strowman, who takes off the glasses to reveal THE RUSE! A Brogue Kick rocks Braun but he shoves both of them away. The Bar bails and I don’t think we’re having a match. No match. That was an actually funny idea, making me think it must be Wrestlemania season.

Goldust is ready for the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal but Matt Hardy interrupts him to say that Argos of Ancient Greece and even Goliath himself have been training him to win the battle royal in honor of Humongous Wonder #8. Tonight, Goldust is scheduled for DELETION!

Matt Hardy vs. Goldust

Joined in progress with Matt applauding Goldust and getting punched in the face for his efforts. A spinebuster gives Goldust two and we hit a chinlock. Back up and Matt gets two off the Side Effect but Goldust gets the same off a powerslam. The first Twist of Fate doesn’t work but the second attempt ends Goldust at 3:09.

Rating: D. Just a way to give Matt some momentum (the most valuable thing in WWE anymore) going into the battle royal. The fact that Goldust is still going mostly strong all these years later is nothing short of amazing. He’s awesome at staying solid in the ring and it makes for some impressive performances. Matt could wind up winning the battle royal and it wouldn’t be a big surprise.

Post match Matt goes to the trophy and says PROCURE over and over.

Alexa Bliss and Mickie James suggest Nia Jax is fat and ugly. This needs to be the squashiest squash of all squashifications on Sunday.

Here’s John Cena to say he was wrong because there’s no Undertaker. He’s done everything he could to get Undertaker to DO SOMETHING. That’s not going to get Cena to put his head down though because he won’t walk into New Orleans with his head down. Cena isn’t going to have a match because Cena is going to Wrestlemania as a fan. Earlier today, Cole said go enter the Battle Royal or be Strowman’s partner or be in a triple threat match.

That won’t happen because Cena has lost in his last five pay per view matches. After all that, he would be taking a spot from a full time WWE superstar who has worked hard to earn it. That’s so dumb that I’m not even going to touch it so we’ll move on to Cena wanting one last chance. A match vs. Undertaker will be a match where neither is held back. Now Cena will go to Wrestlemania as a fan and he’s proud of it. He can’t wait to see people like Rollins and Bryan and Rusev and Elias perform on the grandest stage of them all.

Cena offers some praise to the women on the show because success isn’t determined by gender. However, there’s one more thing about Undertaker. The fans did what they could to get Undertaker to Wrestlemania but Cena thinks the fans here in Atlanta haven’t tried yet. Cena: “I don’t think you guys can be loud enough.” He says the cheering here sounds like a Dallas warmup. If they want the lightning they need to be the thunder so let him hear it all the way in Death Valley.

The fans chant for Undertaker but get nothing. Cena says that as soon as you ignore the people, you’re a dead man walking. Now it’s clear that Undertaker left his hat in the ring and his balls at home. That gets nothing either so Cena walks away with no response. Are they really waiting for Sunday to announce this? Because that would be really stupid.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Roman Reigns is in the back when Angle comes in. Angle asks him to leave to keep the peace tonight but Reigns is going to listen to what Heyman says. Roman doesn’t think much of Angle’s fear.

Here’s Elias to say Sunday will be the performance of a lifetime but tonight he’s stuck in this horrible city. He’d rather be in a town that matters but it’s time for a song….which is quickly cut off. They never said what Elias will be doing.

Elias vs. Heath Slater

Elias pounds him down to start and the fans are all behind Slater. After some stomping, Drift Away ends Slater at 1:12.

Strowman is in the back when he runs into Curt Hawkins in a PICK ME BRAUN shirt. Braun asks about Hawkins’ win/loss record and throws him through a wall. Strowman: “There’s your big break.” I’m glad they acknowledged Hawkins as an option.

Rundown of the Wrestlemania Week events.

Alexa Bliss/Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke/Asuka

Dana and Alexa start things off with Brooke throwing her into a fireman’s carry to freak Bliss out a bit. The fans want Asuka but settle for Mickie hitting Brooke in the face. A takedown gives Dana a breather and we take an abrupt break. Back with Bliss holding Brooke in a chinlock but getting suplexed down for a breather. That’s enough for the hot tag to Asuka and it’s time to clean house in short order. Asuka kicks away but gets kicked in the face, giving Mickie two twice in a row. Not that it matters as the Asuka Lock makes Mickie tap at 10:28.

Rating: D. The weird thing is they’ve built up a pretty nice rivalry between Asuka and Bliss despite having no interest in actually doing the match right now. Nia vs. Bliss is going to be a lot of fun if they do it right but I’m not sure what the point is in keeping Asuka on Raw right now. That being said, she’s getting some exposure and that’s a good thing for her going into a huge match.

Post match the double beatdown is on but here’s Nia for the save. She gets Bliss by the hair but Mickie makes the save and takes the beating for her.

Heyman and Lesnar assure Angle that nothing will go wrong.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar with wrestlers guarding the entrance. Heyman doesn’t think much of Angle’s actions tonight, including failing as Rousey’s mentor. We hear about how this Sunday is a battle between the two men who have defeated Undertaker at Wrestlemania. People think that this is going to be Roman Reigns’ coronation and Heyman respects everything about Lesnar.

However, this Sunday, Lesnar is going to pin Reigns 1-2-3 after an F5. Should an act of God happen though and Reigns win, Heyman and Lesnar will never appear on Raw again. If they’re leaving though, Brock will say goodbye from UFC but Heyman needs to say something now. You know this aura that Heyman has built up since 2002 of Lesnar being above everyone else and that no one is worthy of polishing his boots? It’s all true, because no one in the locker room can hold his jock, let alone take his title.

If Reigns thinks he’s having a victory party, he’s going to have to go home to his family on Sunday night to say he got beat by Brock Lesnar. Heyman: “Roman Reigns, you’re just Brock Lesnar’s b****.” That’s enough to bring out Reigns, who asks why the full time talent is protecting Lesnar. They give Reigns a path and it’s time for the in-ring staredown. The fans chant for Roman (remember he played college football in this town) but Lesnar bails to the floor. Lesnar grabs a chair but it gets Superman Punched into his face. Two more have Brock in trouble and a third puts him down. Reigns picks up the title and is promptly F5’d to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a mixed bag but above all else, it got the job done by making me more interested in some stuff for Sunday. Reigns vs. Lesnar has me intrigued, mainly because they didn’t push the match down our throats this year. It’s not something I’m dying to see but it should be a good power brawl with a big ending. The rest of the show was good enough to make me care about Sunday and that makes this week a success. Of course none of that matters if Sunday is a bomb (which it shouldn’t be) but this week worked for the most part.

Results

Bayley b. Sonya Deville – Rollup

Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – The Stomp

Matt Hardy b. Goldust – Twist of Fate

Elias b. Heath Slater – Drift Away

Dana Brooke/Asuka b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Asuka Lock to James

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6