IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Al Snow, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night tonight because THE BATTLING ANNOUNCERS ARE BACK! This time around we have it’s in the form of Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman for the commentary job, because Steve Austin can just do that again. Oh and there’s a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title with Christian defending against Rob Van Dam. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Snow and Coach, already at the desk, get another entrance this week.

Here are Chris Jericho and Eric Bischoff, who come out together, for the Highlight Reel. Bischoff gets things going by announcing that Austin is suspended for a week due to the unprovoked attack last week. Totally fair point actually. Jericho thinks that’s too light and blames Austin for costing him the World Title last week. It turns out that Bischoff isn’t the guest so here’s Jim Ross.

Jericho isn’t happy with it but tonight JR could get his job back. However, Bischoff thinks Coach should get to pick the stipulation. Coach says he’s thought about whipping JR before (That’s not something I’ve ever needed to know.) so we’ll make it a country whipping match. Jericho brings up Kane burning JR’s back a few months ago, which could make a whipping match all the more painful. That sounds great to Bischoff but JR says they better hope he wins tonight, because they all suck.

In response to that horrible comeback, Jericho slaps on the Walls of Jericho but here’s the suspended Austin for the save. Austin knew something like this would happen but Bischoff sends security after him. They grab his drinking arm (both of them actually) and that means a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer. I’m not seeing that happening when JR is wrestling so take what you can get.

Post break, Austin has been put outside with security blocking his entrance.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Test/Scott Steiner

Test and Steiner are challenging. The sleeveless top, black skirt and tie look works quite well for Stacy Keibler. Steiner and Test get in an argument over who starts so Bubba pulls Test in and pounds away in the corner. Test avoids a shot and goes to tag Steiner, who takes a step back down the steps.

The pumphandle slam is easily blocked but Test can break up the What’s Up. D-Von isn’t as adept at breaking up the pumphandle but Steiner breaks it up at two. Stacy takes a chair away from Test and gets shoved down, leaving Scott to take a Bubba Bomb. With Test still mad, Stacy chairs him in the head, setting up the 3D to retain in short order.

Post match Steiner says he doesn’t like Test but he doesn’t forgive Stacy for calling all these problems. He gives her a belly to belly, making Steiner a heel who is teaming with another heel who he doesn’t like while being managed by a face. Again: weird year.

Post break, we see some replays of the suplex to Stacy. Snow wants to know why director Kevin Dunn is showing this.

Here’s Kane to rant about Shane McMahon. Last week he tasted Shane’s blood and loved it. This is just the beginning….so here’s Hurricane to interrupt. Hurricane shows us a clip of the two of them winning the Tag Team Titles last year. Less than a year later, Kane has become a psychopathic monster.

Kane says Hurricane represents everything Kane used to hate about himself and invites Hurricane to come down and see what the monster is like. That’s a no (what a horrible superhero) so Kane goes after a kid in the front row. The kid needs to feel his pain and that’s enough for Hurricane to come in for the save. That just leads to a beatdown until Rosey comes in for the real save….which actually works?

Earlier today, Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade were playing the new WWE game when Maven wants to join in. La Resistance comes in and calls that stupid. Cade INSULTS THE FRENCH ARMY IN WORLD WAR TWO (Dupree: “That’s two hundred years ago!”) and a six man seems to be made for later.

La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Maven/Mark Jindrak

The good guys clean house to start until a flag shot to the back cuts Cade off. The French villains take turns with some shots to the jaw before Conway has to break up a sunset flip at two. Conway grabs a chinlock until a suplex gets Cade out of trouble. Maven gets the hot tag and fires off some dropkicks as everything breaks down. The double spinebuster plants Maven but Jindrak makes the save (Snow: “He’s just stuck with a really bad name. I tried to get him to change it.”). Jindrak and Cade’s Hart Attack with a dropkick pins Conway.

Rating: D. I get the youth movement idea but Jindrak is the only one with the slightest glimmer of potential. Maven is still a pair of eyebrows with a bad wrestler attached and Garrison Cade is named Garrison Cade. It’s not like La Resistance is much better but at least they have characters.

Austin is still trying to get in when Rob Van Dam comes up to thank him for giving Rob the ladder match tonight. Van Dam leaves and Austin runs into a good sized guy who is a bit star struck. His name is Jon Heidenreich and he’s tried to be a wrestler for ten years. Jon has a ticket, and that gets Austin’s attention. They go off to have a little talk.

HHH joins us via satellite to talk about paranoia sinking in on Goldberg. He knows Goldberg will crack but he’d like to push it along a bit. We pan to the side where HHH has a briefcase. If he had a dollar for every time someone chanted GOLDBERG, he’d be a rich man. It turns out that he is a rich man, so whoever can take Goldberg out gets $100,000. The game just got a lot more interesting. If you consider 1983 Mid-Atlantic more interesting (and I could see how you would), that’s true.

Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman

The commentary jobs are on the line and they both have leather straps but you win via pin or submission. Jericho comes out for commentary and JR hits a quick whip shot to send Coach outside (though he maintains his hat). Coach gets in an argument with a fan (Jericho calls it ballyhooing) and gets whipped back into the ring. Jericho compares Coach to a young Tito Santana (YOU TAKE THAT BACK!) and now it’s time for Coach to get in his own whips.

As JR mouths some rather severe swearing, Coach whips him down even more until a low blow cuts him off. JR takes Coach’s shirt off and more whipping ensues. Bischoff tries to run in and gets whipped as well, leaving JR to hit a Stunner (Well, kind of. JR went down like he was giving a Diamond Cutter but Coach sold it like a Stunner.) for the pin.

Rating: F. Oh what else were you expecting? Well actually some more interference, though at least Coach isn’t a wrestler so this wasn’t the biggest stretch in the world. That being said, what in the world was the point of this whole story? To continue Bischoff vs. Austin? Well fine, but there was NOTHING else they could do other than this stupid announcers feud? I don’t quite buy that.

Lawler comes in to celebrate and of course Austin, with the ticket, jumps the barricade to raise JR’s hand. Jericho has been on a nearly continuous rant about how unfair this is, showing how he really could be an awesome heel announcer if he’d ever need to lower himself like that. Austin finally cuts him off by saying he’ll drink to this so beer is consumed.

Video on Wrestlemania tickets going on sale. It’s still cool.

The beatdown is on with Lita easily escaping a double suplex before Trish can get in for the save. Molly and Gail get beaten up for a bit until Victoria runs in for the real beatdown. Gail rips up the book and shoves the pages in Lita’s mouth. This has some more potential, partially because there’s an actual division being put together instead of just three people.

Kane vs. The Hurricane

Hurricane jumps him on the floor and hits a flip dive from the top. Back in and a Shining Wizard (which was a knee that barely grazed the back of Kane’s head) gets two. That’s about it from Hurricane though as Kane sends him into the corner and finishes with the chokeslam in less than a minute.

Kane gives him another chokeslam for good measure.

Goldberg isn’t worried about the bounty and beats up Steven Richards as he tries to collect.

Ric Flair/Randy Orton vs. Goldberg/Shawn Michaels

Goldberg shoves Flair down to start and double clotheslines both villains down. It’s off to so Shawn for a clothesline to put Flair on the floor but Orton catches him with the backbreaker. The slow beating continues until Flair’s chops wake Shawn up for a bit but Orton cuts him off with a dropkick. It’s back to Flair who struts a lot, allowing Shawn to nip up and hit the flying forearm. The hot tag brings in Goldberg for a series of backdrops and a spear to Flair. Shawn superkicks Orton to the floor but here’s Rodney Mack with a chair to Goldberg for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was a formula tag match to advance the bounty angle. There’s nothing wrong with that and at least they didn’t spend a ton of time on something like this. Goldberg having to fight off various people until he gets to the big fight is fine, especially when there’s about two months before the next time Raw is on pay per view.

Goldberg runs through Mack but Mark Henry destroys Shawn, busting him open and dragging him up the steps.

Post break Teddy Long praises Mark, who wants Goldberg next week.

Christian is walking through the back and blows a kiss to Trish and Lita before running into Tommy Dreamer. Tommy calls him a CLB so Christian rants about how awesome he is and steals Dreamer’s apple.

Video on the Rundown.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Christian is defending in a ladder match. Rob easily wins a battle of kicks to start but Christian won’t let him set up an early ladder. Instead it’s Christian picking one up so Rob hits a flip dive over the top onto the ladder onto Christian. Well that was rather stupid. Since that did more damage to Rob than Christian, the champ bridges a ladder between the barricade and the steps. Christian is dropped ribs first onto the ladder and the spinning kick to the back makes things even worse.

There’s a ladder set up in the corner so of course Van Dam is whipped hard into it for his efforts. A catapult sends Rob face first into the ladder but he’s right back up with a delayed gorilla press onto the ladder. Rob has always been deceptively strong and the athleticism makes it even less noticeable. Christian gets knocked outside so Rob can make the first climb, only to be taken down by the reverse DDT off the ladder.

That’s not enough to get the title though as Christian is sent into the ladder in the corner, followed by a Cannonball (called Rolling Thunder, which is close enough). Rob uses the ladder for a Van Daminator but the Five Star only hits ladder. A hard running shot with the ladder puts Van Dam on the floor again but he comes back in with a top rope kick to knock it over again. The double climb leads to a slugout with both guys falling, only to have Rob catch himself on the other ladder. A Five Star from that ladder is enough for Rob to go up and get the title for the win.

Rating: B. While it’s no classic, this was the kind of match that Raw has been needing: hard hitting, a lot of fun and with a good guy winning in the end. Oh and a lack of HHH or Evolution helped too. This isn’t the kind of match that anyone is going to remember as anything great, but it was what they should have done on this show, especially as the main event instead of the big tag match.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot but it’s very clear that we’re just waiting on HHH to heal up and come get his title back. Other than that….what is going on around here? You have the Austin vs. Bischoff feud which seems to tie into most of the stories on the show but can’t actually lead to a match because Austin can’t wrestle and Bischoff is Bischoff. Everything else seems to be just going in whatever direction with no end in sight. That’s fine if the stuff is good, but that’s not the case here. Not the worst, but they need a direction.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 26, 2018
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Elimination Chamber and the first of six Monday Night Raws before we get to New Orleans for Wrestlemania XXXIV. Last night saw the most obvious of obvious endings with Roman Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber, basically taking him from not doing much to being in the biggest match of the year overnight. You can’t fight that script you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show.

And last night’s pay per view.

We open with a recap of Reigns winning the Chamber.

Here’s an abbreviated version of the HHH/Stephanie McMahon/Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey segment. Stephanie has DEMANDED an apology tonight. Well now it’s serious.

Here are Alexa Bliss and the now heel Mickie James for a chat. Bliss brags about the win last night and says she knew it would happen. Mickie gets some praise as well before Bliss talks about how she’s the greatest thing ever on Raw. Bayley is a lost cause and Sasha’s big ego caught up to her again.

Alexa hopes Asuka is ready for Wrestlemania so here’s Asuka in person. Asuka storms to the ring but Bliss cuts her off, saying Jax should have been in the match but she made one mistake. Cue Jax so Asuka goes after Bliss and James, only to get dropped by Jax. A triangle choke has Jax in trouble but Bliss and James come back in for the save. Cue Bayley and Sasha for the save but Jax lays them out too.

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka vs. Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Joined in progress in the match you knew was coming. Bayley gets beaten down with a few shots to the back, including a hard one from Bliss. It’s quickly off to Banks though and the double knees in the corner get two on Alexa. Sasha gets sent to the floor though and Jax runs her over like she’s not even there.

Back from a break with Banks in trouble off a Mickie chinlock. Banks kicks her away and loads up a tag but Bayley drops to the floor and stands in the aisle. Instead it’s off to Asuka (so Sasha gets an upgrade) for the rapid fire kicks, followed by a rolling leg/armbar to make Mickie tap out at 10:53.

Rating: C-. I can’t count how man times I’ve seen some incarnation of this match. Bayley FINALLY wising up and doing something logical was nice to see but other than that, this was every six woman tag you’ve seen over and over again. You can pretty much book Bliss vs. Jax for the title and that’s the best option, but we need a better way of booking the women and soon.

Here’s John Cena to discuss his path to Wrestlemania. Last night he failed in the Elimination Chamber and then had a microphone shoved in his face. He wasn’t sure what to say but now he’s figured it out. After all these failures in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, it’s time for a Wrestlemania challenge. It’s time for John Cena to challenge THE UNDERTAKER for Wrestlemania.

The place goes nuts but Cena says that’s not happening either. Cena doesn’t make the matches around here and has been told that match is impossible. Therefore, his road to Wrestlemania now goes through Smackdown, because Cena is a free agent. He’ll be there tomorrow night to earn a spot, so see you then. It’s a good thing we can’t see Cena, because he’s sounding really dumb right now. Apparently everyone without a match right now has failed, meaning everyone but Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Lesnar and Reigns have failed. Just please don’t be Undertaker. Please.

Heath Slater vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray beats up Slater and Rhyno before the bell rings. The beating ensues and there’s no match.

Post match Bray sits in the corner with his eyes looking like he’s about to cry. This is all on Matt Hardy for driving Bray to this. The Great War is still going and they will face each other again. Well it didn’t work the first two times so maybe the third is the right idea.

We see the Rousey package again.

Here’s Miz to have his Wrestlemania opponent announced. First of all, we hear about how awesome Hollywood is and how Miz is only 62 days before becoming the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. After that, he’ll be the greatest champion of all time. Not Chris Jericho, not Edge, not Bret Hart and not Shawn Michaels. He’s still no Tito Santana.

Miz is tired of being treated like a joke without even having merchandise to be sold. He wants to know his opponent for Wrestlemania so earlier today he asked Kurt Angle. All he was told was that his opponent tonight MIGHT tell him who that is going to be. This sends Miz into a rant about how he deserves better than might because he’s carried this show for the last year. Here’s tonight’s opponent.

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz

Non-title. Rollins sends him outside in short order but the Miztourage get in a few shots to take over. Miz whips Seth into the barricade and they head back inside for a chinlock. The YES Kicks have Rollins in trouble and allow the announcers to debate who invented them again. Seth gets tossed to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Seth getting back into it but not being able to hit the frog splash. Miz scores with the corner dropkicks but the top rope ax handle is broken up with a quick crotching. The superplex into a Falcon Arrow gets two on Miz but Rollins hits a dive onto the Miztourage. Back in and the frog splash (with a BIG leap) gives Rollins the pin at 14:24.

Post match here’s Finn Balor and it’s time for round two.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Non-title again….and the Miztourage comes in for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Anderson and Gallows come in for the save but Angle pops up on screen to say we’re continuing until there’s a winner or Miz isn’t going until Wrestlemania.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz hits a running corner dropkick and gets two off a DDT. More shots to the back and a faceplant gets two on Balor as this is one sided so far. A running knee gives Miz two and we take a break. Back with Balor jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and hitting a kick to the head. The announcers argue over who should be #1 contender.

Cole says Balor should get a shot if he pins Miz, just like Rollins. Graves logically points out that Miz isn’t fresh coming into this match, which makes far too much sense for this. Balor hits something like an Eye of the Hurricane for two, followed by the Sling Blade to rock Miz again. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C-. This was all angle but Cole sounded really stupid saying it was a fair exchange. As Graves pointed out, Balor beat a worn down Miz and somehow that’s supposed to be the same thing. I’m sure there will be several other wrestlers added to the match because that’s how the Intercontinental Title match works and it’s not like there’s a big match to be wasted otherwise where you can put these people in to make it matter.

Post match, Cole yells at Graves for being a Miz propaganda machine as Graves wants Mantaur and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz out here. Maybe they can beat Miz too and it’ll be the same thing!

Rollins says there’s more than one way to Wrestlemania and he knows how to get there. He wants Miz and the Intercontinental Title and he wants them at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Roman Reigns for the showdown with Lesnar. Actually never mind, because Reigns says something happened and Lesnar isn’t here. It’s not like it would matter as Lesnar doesn’t show up unless he’s getting paid. Lesnar hides behind his contract and shows up when he feels like it. Last night, Lesnar was in Las Vegas but he was running around with Dana White from the UFC.

Reigns is going to get in trouble for this but he’s here every single week no matter what. He cares about this place and doesn’t just call himself a businessman like Lesnar and Heyman. He’s going to go to the back and take his yelling like a man because he actually cares about this place. This was a few years late, but it’s Roman’s best promo ever. Build this up as a fight and it’s a much more interesting main event.

Braun Strowman is going to put a symphony of destruction on Elias tonight.

Black History Month video.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide

The Bar is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the first fall over Titus at 9 seconds. Apollo comes in to give Titus a break and scores with a dropkick. It’s back to Titus for a slam, followed by Apollo’s jumping elbow for two. Back from a break with the champs still in control but Apollo getting over for a hot tag to Titus.

Something like a Dominator/shoulder breaker (looked a bit botched) plants Sheamus and Apollo adds a frog splash for two. The standing moonsault gets the same with Cesaro making the save. Apollo dives over the top onto Sheamus but gets crotched back inside. The assisted White Noise retains the titles in two straight falls at 11:19.

Rating: C+. We’ve seen this match several times now and it’s not exactly doing anything to show the depth of the tag division. Really at this point it has to be Bar vs. Revival at Wrestlemania as there’s no one left for them to face. That being said, I’m not sure who benefited from having them split this many wins. Titus Worldwide does get a rub, but it doesn’t matter if they’re done as a title contender with no one left to fight. But at least they killed a few months, which is the lone benefit from this thing.

Post match the Bar celebrates, saying they have Titus Worldwide’s number and it’s zero. They brag about their string of success but there’s no one left to face.

Jarrius Robertson, a double liver transplant survivor, is getting the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Here’s Elias with the guitar to talk about noise pollution. Braun Strowman is noise pollution. Everything Graves says is noise pollution. It’s time for the song and of course it calls the crowd a bunch of losers, just like Strowman.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Elias tries to bail to the floor but Braun easily catches him and throws Elias around the ring a bit. A double ax handle to the chest sets up a running splash in the corner. Strowman hits him in the head but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias scores with a top rope ax handle but is quickly cut off as Strowman just runs him over. They head to the floor with Elias hiding grabbing a fire extinguisher to spray Strowman for the DQ at 5:04.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match as they seem to be setting up a rematch at Wrestlemania. I’ve heard of worse ideas and it would be nice to have them put together something with two younger guys like this for a change. Strowman deserves a fun win at the show anyway. Well he deserves the World Title but that can’t happen here.

Post match Elias gets punched to the floor but slips out of the powerslam through the announcers’ table. Elias gets into the parking lot and escapes as a limo pulls up.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the response to last night. First though, here’s the same video package for the third time. Stephanie says that was Ronda acting out of savage instinct and the slap was to remind her of who is boss. Now though we need an apology from Kurt Angle so we can get on the Road to Wrestlemania. Instead here’s a ticked off Ronda but Kurt runs down and cuts her off.

Ronda talks about having never been slapped before and how that took her to a different place. Angle says he needs this job but last night, he lied. The things he said HHH and Stephanie said aren’t true. Stephanie gets back in and says they’re not bad people and goes to leave again. Ronda says not so fast and says it’s Stephanie who needs to apologize to her. If she doesn’t, Stephanie’s arm is coming out of its socket. Stephanie gets in her face and apologizes in a funny bit. The bosses go to leave again but HHH punches Kurt in the face on the way out.

No word on who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: C. This was an up and down show as they kept teasing setting up stuff for Wrestlemania but nothing was actually announced. They have five shows left and it would be nice to have something actually set up instead of being hinted at. They’re running out of time and that needs to light a fire under them already. It’s not a bad show but they need to do something pretty soon.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James

Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash

Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered

Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace

The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo

Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2003
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Al Snow, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Unforgiven and I know I always say that it has to be better this time around, but for once I’m not kidding myself. Goldberg is the new World Heavyweight Champion and that makes me think we’re going to be hearing about how HHH belongs as champion and will have it back soon. You know, so the world can be all as it should be. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s Raw if you missed it.

And Unforgiven if you missed it.

Opening sequence.

There are some soldiers here from Walter Reed Hospital.

Coach and Snow get their own entrance, with Coach again wearing the white cowboy hat. Snow on Coach: “YOU COULD SELL TOOTHPASTE TONIGHT!”

Here’s Goldberg for his big celebration, because the idea is to have him talking and make him a character of course. He promised to be here in Washington D.C. as champion and now you can believe the hype. Cue Steve Austin to say there isn’t too much in life that makes him happy. There’s drinking beer, middle fingers, four letter words and the United States armed forces.

Last night Goldberg made him happy too by becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. Austin will drink to that and beer is consumed….until Eric Bischoff interrupts, complete with a standing ovation from Coach and Snow. Bischoff takes credit for creating Goldberg and is speared before he can say much else. Snow: “NO!!!!” Are we going with Goldberg vs. Bischoff now? Is that necessary?

A soldier sends a message to his family in North Dakota.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Van Dam wastes no time in hitting a middle rope crossbody for two and Christian bails to the floor. That means a big flip dive, followed by a middle rope apron legdrop to keep the champ in trouble. It’s WAY too early for the Five Star though and Van Dam’s ribs are banged up. A gutbuster gives Christian two and we hit the abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Rob comes back with a spinwheel kick, followed by Rolling Thunder for two. Rob gets in a head fake and scores with a split legged moonsault for another near fall. Not that it matters as Christian hits him with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They were starting to get going until the lame ending. This would seem to be setting up a rematch though and that’s not the worst feud for either guy. There’s a pretty solid midcard on Raw and if they actually have people fighting for the midcard title, it come make for some entertaining matches.

Post match Christian hits him in the head with a ladder. A splash off said ladder has Christian in more pain than Van Dam. So that’s likely at Survivor Series or a big Raw.

Chris Jericho goes to check on Bischoff and talks his way into a World Title match tonight. Now why couldn’t they do that in WCW?

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come out for a match but Evolution jumps them from behind for a beatdown. Coach thinks it’s due to HHH losing the World Title but isn’t sure. HHH talks about how he knows he’s still the best in the world and he breathes it every day. Last night, HHH beat himself and now it’s time to make Goldberg believe. HHH points to all the Game Over signs but for Goldberg, the game has just started. Standard heel who just lost the title promo, except overly long and with a lot of deep breathing.

Another soldier remembers a fallen friend.

Here’s Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises with Teddy Long wondering why there have been no black Presidents. He could change laws and be on the Dollar Dollar Bill. Teddy presents Rodney Mack as his Secretary of State and Mark Henry as his Secretary of Defense. It’s time for a White Boy Challenge!

Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer’s weapons don’t get him anywhere (or disqualified for that matter) and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin in less than a minute.

Cade, Jindrak and Maven charge into Evolution’s locker room and a six man is made for later.

Trish and Lita are in the back and walk past Jericho and Christian. The guys look at them but Austin comes up and says they won’t crack him. Next week: JR vs. Coach with the announcing job on the line again. As a bonus, Austin debuts Christian’s CLB nickname. Next week, it’s RVD vs. CLB for the IC in a ladder match.

Another soldier saying hi.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Rematch from last night and Lita’s first Raw match in over a year and a half. Trish and Gail exchange headlocks to start until Trish mostly misses a basement dropkick for two. Molly comes in and gets monkey flipped, followed by the Matrish into a headscissors. Snow: “That’s what I admire in a woman: flexibility.”

Lita comes in to a big reaction and a one legged monkey flip and a headbutt to the stomach. A quick Gail distraction lets Molly hit a running flip neckbreaker though and we hit the double arm crank with a knee in the neck. Molly’s suplex is countered into a reverse DDT though (with a good thud) and a double clothesline….doesn’t set up the hot tag to Trish. Instead everything breaks down with Trish spearing Molly to the floor. A Twist of Fate puts Gail away.

Rating: C. I don’t know if it’s because she hasn’t been around in a long time but Lita looked like the biggest star the women’s division has ever had here, getting a crazy reaction and putting on a solid performance as well. The changed look (now in a tank top and shorts) makes her look a bit more serious too and that takes her up another level. The match was good too as you can see the talent really starting to shine.

Jericho asks Bischoff to be the guest referee for the title match. Bischoff is hurt but agrees in the name of screwing over Austin and Goldberg. This is another great example of SHUT THE DOOR WHILE MAKING EVIL PLANS Theater.

We get a music video on Test vs. Steiner (edited off the Network of course), because it’s just that epic.

Earlier today, Stacy Keibler apologized to Scott Steiner for messing up last night. Test comes up and makes Steiner carry his bags. Scott yells and Test hides behind Stacy and threatens a lawsuit.

The announcers talk about Shane McMahon vs. Kane last night. The video pauses before the impact on the big finish.

Shane, at an undisclosed medical facility (with the graphic saying Harrisburg, Pennsylvania), talks about how he hopes to be released in the morning. He’ll be after Kane again though….and here’s Kane, who of course is shirtless and in wrestling gear, suggesting that he’s likely murdered several security guards on the way here. Or security just sucks.

Kane pulls the IV out of Shane’s arm and pours a bag of blood on him before slamming the bed into a wall. Security arrives and Kane drops one of them with a good right hand. Shane is thrown against a door and Kane leaves. I remember watching this live and being annoyed that the feud was continuing. Nearly fifteen years later and it’s the same opinion.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

It’s Conway and Dupree here with both guys being heavily bandaged after last night’s tables match. Hurricane headscissors Conway down and Rosey takes Dupree’s head off with a clothesline. Sylvan Grenier hits Hurricane with the French flag and the soldiers in the front row aren’t happy. Back in and Dupree does his yet to be signature dance before handing it off to Conway. We hit the double arm crank for a bit with Hurricane fighting up without too much effort. Rosey comes in and drops the big leg on Conway and Hurricane makes a blind tag for a crossbody on Dupree. A Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination puts Conway away.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here and the fresh blood to the division is a nice upgrade. There’s only so much you can do with just two teams fighting for the titles so throwing a third in there helps a lot. Their vignettes have helped a lot too, but I have a feeling they’ll be pushed aside for another uninteresting team because that’s what WWE seems to roll with for some reason.

Post match the Dudleys come out to high five the troops. That was a pretty unnecessary cameo.

Earlier today, WWE and Russell Simmons got together for a voting drive. Wrestlers on the stage with Vince: Maven and JBL.

Evolution vs. Maven/Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

It’s a brawl to start with the young guys clearing the ring in short order. We settle down to HHH slugging Jindrak down in the corner before it’s Maven’s turn to take a beating. Maven backslides Flair for two and scores with some right hands before it’s off to Orton and Cade. Garrison gets caught in the corner so Evolution can take turns beating on him as the announcers recap Orton’s legend killing.

HHH slaps on the sleeper because he’s old school that way but a belly to back suplex gets Cade out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Maven as you can see the audience sitting in near silence. Maven cleans as much house as he can but Flair sends him outside. The referee takes a chair away from Orton, leaving Maven to hit a missile dropkick on Flair for no count. HHH comes in with a Pedigree to give Flair the pin.

Rating: D. The ending helped a bit but there’s not going to be anything positive coming from these three against Evolution. Cade and Jindrak are black holes of charisma and Maven is Maven so what were you expecting? This could have been a lot worse but it didn’t exactly do anyone any favors.

HHH says the fans need him more than he needs the fans.

Another soldier wants Austin to come help them fight in Iraq.

We go live to Hollywood for the red carpet premiere of the Rundown. Rock is excited for the movie and threatens to smack Marc Lloyd around. He thanks Vince, all the talent in the back and the fans for making all this possible. Rock gets annoyed at being asked about a scene where a monkey, shall we say, has his way with Rock’s face and accuses Lloyd of sucking on orangutan nipples. Lloyd says run down to the theater but Rock comes back to call him stupid for that one. Some rhyming wraps us up.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho

Goldberg is defending and Bischoff is the outside referee. Jericho dances away from him to start but gets powered into the corner. The champ follows him to the floor but Bischoff cuts him off. That earns Eric an accidental collision from Jericho and it’s time to go back inside for a whip into the corner. A gorilla press to the floor has Jericho rocked but he sidesteps a spear and Goldberg hits the steps.

Jericho gets two off a missile dropkick and it’s off to something like a crossface chickenwing. Goldberg powers up and kicks Jericho in the face but a DDT gives Chris two. A gorilla press into a spinebuster plants Jericho again but Bischoff pulls the referee out at two. Jericho scores with a low blow and Lionsault for a Bischoff counted two. Cue Austin to pull Bischoff to the floor for a completely unprovoked right hand, leaving Goldberg to finish with the usual.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t great but they kept Goldberg looking strong and gave him a win over a credible opponent on his first night as champion. It also helps when Jericho can actually pick up the pace a little bit and not be like HHH, who managed to make Goldberg feel boring last night. In theory this sets up another round of Austin vs. Bischoff, because that’s what the world was clamoring to see.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s kind of amazing how much better this show is without Coach/King arguing with Snow/Coachman (the new commentary wasn’t terrible, but it certainly doesn’t validate the long story to get there). HHH didn’t have the long form promo and Goldberg got to look like a strong champion. The women continue their nice little roll too, which gave us some nice bright spots on an otherwise not very good show.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 19, 2018
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for the Elimination Chamber pay per view and for some reason we’re having a gauntlet match tonight. I guess the theory is that the elimination match tonight is supposed to make us want to watch another elimination match on Sunday. Maybe we can just get the whole roster in the Chamber this time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a moment of silence for the victims of the Florida massacre.

Here’s Roman Reigns as the first entrant in the gauntlet match tonight. He’s not worried about the other people in the Chamber and lists all of them off with Balor/Rollins getting the best reactions.

Gauntlet Match

Roman and Seth Rollins start things off as we have a BURN IT DOWN chant. Roman headlocks him to the mat to start and it seems that we’re in for a long one here. Back from an early break with Rollins fighting out of a chinlock but getting punched down in the corner. Reigns charges into a boot to the face and gets caught with a Blockbuster.

The Sling Blade takes Reigns down again and there’s the springboard clothesline. Reigns is right back with the apron dropkick and some corner clotheslines of his own. The Superman Punch is blocked twice and Rollins actually manages the Buckle Bomb. Reigns is right out of the corner with the Superman Punch and we take another break.

Back again with Rollins missing a frog splash but throwing Reigns outside for a pair of suicide dives. The springboard knee is Superman Punched out of the air for two though and they’re both down. Back up with Reigns avoiding the Curb Stomp but getting rolled up for the pin at 20:08. They stare at each other for a long time until John Cena is in third. Rollins decks him from behind for two and we take another break.

We come back again with Cena, still in the t-shirt, holding Rollins in a headlock. Seth fights back up but Cena takes the shirt off and grabs a chinlock with a grapevine. Cena sends him outside as Cole talks about Cena’s history in the Elimination Chamber, mention that Cena has won from first and sixth. So numbers mean nothing? Seth makes it back in at nine but gets caught in rolling belly to belly suplexes for two. We take yet another break and come back with Rollins barely standing during a slugout until Cena throws him onto his shoulder and spinning it into Stunner.

Rollins refuses to give up so Cena circles him a bit, followed by a right hand between the eyes for one. Cena elbows him in the jaw and shoulders Rollins to the floor as we take ANOTHER break with the match breaking 40 minutes in the process. We’re back again with Rollins down and Cena seeming to take some mercy on him. The STF goes on a few seconds later but Cena lets it go to pull Rollins back to the middle.

That’s enough for an escape and they’re both down again. Rollins gets small packaged for two but comes up with his Falcon Arrow, only to be slammed down. You Can’t See Me is blocked with a pair of superkicks for two, sending Cena bailing to the apron. Rollins takes him outside and avoids a charge to send Cena into the steps. The AA is escaped and Seth slaps on a Crossface in the middle of the ring.

That’s escaped into the AA but Rollins sticks the landing and hits an enziguri. The frog splash gives Rollins two but the AA connects…..for two? Seriously? Now the superplex into the Falcon Arrow gives Rollins two and they’re both down. Cena is right back with the STF but Rollins does the big crawl for the break. Rollins pulls himself up but gets caught in the hold again, this time close to the middle of the ring.

Somehow that’s escaped with ANOTHER rope break and Cena is ticked. That means a Super AA but Rollins elbows out. Cena’s high crossbody is rolled through into an AA to give Rollins ANOTHER close two. These kickouts are getting insane. The Phoenix splash misses and Cena hits an AA. The second AA is escaped and Rollins hits the Curb Stomp to get rid of Cena at 56:44.

Elias is in third (with music) and stomps away for some near falls as we take another break. We come back again with Rollins caught in a half crab as this is now the longest match in Raw history. With Rollins in the hold, we go split screen for an interview with Cena who knows what he has to do in the Chamber and praises Rollins’ abilities. He’s doing a lot of stuff right now and if he doesn’t win on Sunday, he might not have a Road to Wrestlemania.

Rollins tries his flip off the ropes but can’t stand on his knee. He’s fine enough to superkick Elias down for two and hit a slingshot dive to the floor. Back in and the knee gives out, allowing Elias to hit Drift Away for the pin at 1:04:56. Rollins gets a standing ovation as this is now the longest match in WWE TV history. Balor comes in and slugs Elias down but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace as we take a break.

Back again with Elias holding an armbar and we go to another split screen interview with Rollins. Seth thinks the two pins mean something but he’s disappointed if he doesn’t win on Sunday. A shoulder breaker gives Elias two and he slams the arm into the apron. The fans greet this with a WE WANT STROWMAN chant until Balor kicks him in the head. Elias gets taken down with some running forearms (one of which actually makes contact) and another kick to the head.

They go outside again with Balor hitting a shotgun dropkick to drive Elias into the barricade. Back in and an electric chair into a sitout powerbomb gives Elias two as we take another break. We come back again (I’m getting tired of typing that) with Elias grabbing a Fujiwara armbar and then kicking the bar arm a few times. Balor scores with a Sling Blade and a shotgun dropkick in the corner. The Coup de Grace ends Elias at 84:50 and it’s Miz in sixth.

Miz sneaks in through the crowd and decks Balor from behind for an early two count. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and he kicks Balor in the face for a third near fall. Balor is sent outside and then has his bad arm (Miz: “IS IT THIS ARM?”) wrapped around the ropes as we take another break. Back again with Miz holding an armbar as we’ve broken ninety minutes. In another interview, Elias says he’ll pick up the scraps and move on to the performance of a lifetime.

Balor throws him down and hits a pair of running chops in the corner but has to slip out of the Skull Crushing Finale. The Miztourage breaks up a near fall so Balor dives on them, followed by the shotgun dropkick in the corner. Another distraction breaks up the Coup de Grace though and now the Skull Crushing Finale gets rid of Balor at 95:55.

Strowman gets low bridged to the floor (Coach: “Miz is doing better than I thought he would!”) but clotheslines Miz down (Coach: “My bad.”). Back in and the Miztourage offers a distraction so the Skull Crushing Finale can get two, with Miz being sent outside on the kickout. The running powerslam gives Strowman the pin at 1:45:55.

Rating: B. Cena vs. Rollins (who came off like a mega star here) was outstanding but pretty much everything after Rollins was a series of armbars as we waited on Strowman. The fact that it didn’t actually matter or change anything for Sunday didn’t help either but this is one of those things where you’re going to remember it for a long time, just for how different it was. One of the biggest criticisms of WWE is that they don’t change things enough, which was certainly not the case here. But yeah, this was just a precursor to LOL REIGNS WINS.

Post match Strowman says he’s going to do the same on Sunday because he’s not finished with Lesnar. Then at Wrestlemania, Beasty Boy is going to get these hands. Strowman isn’t done yet as he beats up the Miztourage again, including one to Miz after Strowman goes up the ramp to get him.

Jeff Jarrett Hall of Fame video. This is still so bizarre to see.

Here’s Asuka for a chat. It is her destiny to win the championship at Wrestlemania so this coming Sunday won’t be her first loss. Nia has promised to make her need the mask all the time but she likes to talk. On Sunday, Nia won’t be talking because she’ll be tapping. Cue Nia to catch Asuka with a Samoan drop and a bunch of legdrops.

Video on Ronda Rousey, who signs her contract on Sunday. Various wrestlers talk about how awesome she is, including Stephanie, who I fully expect to interrupt Sunday’s segment.

The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide

Non-title and now it’s just Apollo now instead of Apollo Crews. Cesaro and Titus start things off with Cesaro getting chopped in the corner, meaning it’s off to Apollo for a double back elbow. Everything breaks down and Apollo is sent outside for a clothesline from Sheamus. Double kicks to the ribs have Apollo in more trouble as the announcers discuss Dana Brooke’s research. Apollo fights out of a chinlock but Sheamus broke up a hot tag by pulling Titus to the floor. Cesaro is distracted though and it’s a rollup to give Apollo the pin at 4:33.

Rating: D+. I think we have our Kickoff Show match and that’s not the worst idea in the world. In theory this should give us a fresh team in the division but I’m not sure if WWE would ever pull the trigger on them. That being said, I could definitely for Titus Worldwide as transitional champions to get us to the Revival.

Newly announced for Sunday: Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy.

Bray hopes the end is near for Matt Hardy. Matt pops in and promises to render Bray obsolete. They go back and forth about wanting to end each other as they’re done several times now.

Sasha Banks/Bayley/Mickie James vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Alexa Bliss

Bliss and James start but Alexa bails in short order. With neither getting anywhere, it’s off to Mandy vs. Sasha with Graves saying that if they studied art like Rose in college, he wouldn’t have dropped out. Bayley comes in with a hair whip, followed by a suplex to send Mandy outside.

Back from a break with Bayley in trouble but getting in a shot to Mandy’s jaw. Mandy pulls her right back though and Bliss tags herself in, much to Mandy’s annoyance. The running slap drops Bayley and it’s off to Deville for a chinlock. Bayley fights up and brings in Mickie for some house cleaning, only to have Rose take her down with a cheap shot.

Deville gets in a hard shot for two of her own, only to have Mickie get in a double neckbreaker for the break. Sasha comes in off the hot tag and house is cleaned, including the double knees to the chest to drop Bliss. The middle rope double knees gets two with Mandy making the save. Not that it matters though as the Bank Statement makes Bliss tap at 15:55.

Rating: C+. This was a way to give Banks some momentum heading into Sunday and that’s all it needed to be. I would have gone with Absolution as they don’t exactly have much momentum in the first place but Banks is a much more likely winner. It was nothing great, but at least it did something good as we head into the pay per view.

Post match Absolution destroys Banks and Bayley before turning on Bliss. Mickie makes the save though and it’s a double implant DDT to Deville to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was of course ALL about the gauntlet match and since that was excellent, this was a more than solid show. It’s got me interested in the two big matches for Sunday, but the problem is this show is likely going to be more remembered than the big match. That’s not the best thing in the world, but at least we got an amazing performance from Rollins on the way there.

Results

Braun Strowman won a gauntlet match last eliminating The Miz

Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Cesaro

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James b. Absolution/Alexa Bliss – Bank Statement to Bliss

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and just like Summerslam, that can’t come early enough. The shows haven’t exactly been thrilling as of late and I don’t see that getting any better tonight. At the moment, the problem comes down to the show having almost every direction wrong, which doesn’t bode well as we head towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

HHH is walking through the back and runs into Eric Bischoff. Since tonight is Goldberg’s last night on Raw, HHH wants to throw him a going away party. Bischoff agrees, but wants to know what HHH is going to do when Goldberg shows up. HHH’s advice: keep watching. Do we have to?

Chris Jericho and Christian are in the ring, carrying anti-Steve Austin signs. He needs to be FIRED, especially due to the attack on Jericho last week. Fair point actually. Austin is a Stone Cold joke and the joke is on the two of them. Christian wants to know why he was off Summerslam and why he’s off Unforgiven. Again, fair point. Is there a reason why we’re not seeing Christian defend the title on back to back pay per views? Maybe the Canadians are on to something here.

They try to start a STONE COLD MUST GO chant but here’s Austin to interrupt. Austin wants to know what’s up with this attempt to stop the show. He brings up Jericho slapping him on the back, which insulted Steve’s manhood and hurt his feelings. That wasn’t going to fly and Austin retaliated. Austin wants to give them a beating but that stupid rule is holding him back.

This brings him to Christian, who WILL be defending the title at Unforgiven. Instead of announcing an opponent, Austin dares one of them to provoke him. Jericho gets in Austin’s face but tells Christian to get him. Since no violence is happening at the moment, Jericho is going to have a match right now. We’ll make that a #1 contenders match for the Intercontinental Title shot on Sunday.

Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

From a one sided loss in a long cage match to a #1 contenders match. I’m certainly following the logic. Rob starts in with the kicks and dives onto both Canadians as we take an early break. Back with Rob still in control but Christian shoves him off the top. That earns Christian a stern lecture as Jericho whips Rob into the steps.

After a chinlock that doesn’t last very long, Rob dropkicks Jericho out of the air and scores with a spinwheel kick to the face. Rolling Thunder lands on Jericho’s face and a slingshot legdrop hits it again. That’s not how you treat a sexy rock star. An attempt at the Walls is countered into a small package for two as the fans are rather behind Van Dan here.

Jericho has better luck with the sleeper drop before ducking a kick, meaning it’s time for a ref bump. The Lionsault hits knees but the Five Star does as well. Christian tries to come in but hits Jericho with the belt by mistake (ignore Jericho being three feet behind Van Dam). Instead Christian hits Rob with the belt as well, drawing the DQ.

Rating: C-. The ending hurts this one a good bit and that doesn’t surprise me. I’ve never been a fan of a champion trying to break up a #1 contenders match with the stupid, illogical thinking of the non-ending (which should be an ending, but won’t because WWE) means no match. I know wrestling heels aren’t that bright, but you would think this would connect at some point.

Post match Austin says not quite, because neither guy winning (How did one of them not win??? The referee didn’t see Jericho get hit so Rob should win. If we’re supposed to believe that the referee did see it, then Jericho should win. Either way, this ending doesn’t add up but it gets us to the next match, which is all that matters.) doesn’t get Christian out of his defense. Therefore, it’s a triple threat match for the title at Unforgiven.

Great Moment in Goldberg History: beating Hogan for the WCW World Title.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a big neck brace after last week’s horrible looking botch….and loses to a neckbreaker in less than thirty seconds while the Dudleys and La Resistance fight on the floor. Well you can’t fault Conway’s thinking.

Post match, Conway powerbombs Spike through a table. The Dudleys make a late save.

Bischoff is in the back with Al Snow and Jonathan Coachman, asking if that’s the kind of violence they can expect on Sunday. A backstage worker (again Taylor from Tough Enough) brings Bischoff a note, saying there are two women in his office. You should be able to guess what’s coming from here.

Post break, Bischoff finds Moolah and Mae Young in his office. Moolah is here to celebrate her 80^th birthday and wants to have a match in her hometown. It turns out that Austin sent the letter and Mae kisses Bischoff. Austin: “I think she likes you!”

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Mae offers a distraction and Moolah wins with a rollup in thirty seconds. Quite the use of the go home show time.

Post match Victoria jumps both of them so here’s Randy Orton for the save. However, she’s a legend and he’s a legend killer so it’s an RKO for Moolah. I’m so glad they had Victoria lose for this. Orton laying Moolah out is a great way to get heel heat, but have him do it to interrupt an interview or a birthday celebration or something.

Great Moment in Goldberg history: hitting the Giant with the Jackhammer. Considering this is closer to a regular suplex, I’m more impressed by Curt Hennig giving Giant a PerfectPlex.

Lance Storm/Goldust vs. Rodney Mack/Mark Henry

Evolution is planning the celebration but Orton says he has to take care of something. After running into Maven and saying nothing, Shawn Michaels pops up. Orton thinks they have a lot in common. Shawn uses people as stepping stones, which is what Orton is going to use Shawn for on Sunday. Michaels slaps him in the face and tells Randy to step hard.

Earlier today, Hurricane gives Rosey flying lessons but Rosey calls a cab instead. Terri came out of the building and talked to Molly Holly and Gail Kim, who don’t think Trish Stratus will have a partner tonight.

Here’s Bischoff, in rather casual clothes, including an un-tucked brown shirt and a hat, to oversee the contract signing between Kane and Shane McMahon. He explains the idea of a Last Man Standing match and says these two aren’t just signing contracts, but also releases. Kane is out first and signs before Shane shows up. Now it’s Shane coming out and OF COURSE he has something to say. He promises that if he’s going down, Kane is going down with him.

Shane likes the stipulation on Sunday and signs the contract so Kane turns the table over. The fight is on with Shane hitting him low four times in a row and cracking Kane with a few chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls a cover off a special announcers’ table (well good thing that was there) for the big elbow. Remember: Shane can do this while Rob Van Dam, #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title, got squashed last week.

Great Moment in Goldberg History: beating the Rock at Backlash. That’s not a great moment in any history.

Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim/Molly Holly

No holds barred. Trish dropkicks them down at the same time and gets in a double neck snap across the top rope. Since it’s no holds barred, Gail heads to the apron while Trish hits a kick in the corner and the Stratusphere for no cover. Gail comes back with a slam and middle rope legdrop for two, followed by Molly’s handspring elbow. Trish fights out of a weak chinlock and scores with a spinebuster. That’s about it though as Gail sends her hard into the corner, setting up the Molly Go Round for the pin.

Rating: D. This was either the lamest no holds barred match ever or Lilian Garcia screwed up and announced the wrong stipulation. The feud continues to be pretty uninteresting but at least it now has a point. That’s far more than you usually get in these stories and when Trish actually gets a good partner, things will get even better.

Post match the beating continues until Lita makes her big return for the save. Lita plants them both, stops to take her top off, and then gives Molly a Twist of Fate.

Post break, Gail and Molly yell at Bischoff about what happened. Austin comes in to explain that he rehired Lita (holy continuity for once) and makes a tag match for Sunday.

Here are Coach and Al Snow doing a JR and King impression because THIS IS HOW WE SELL PAY PER VIEWS IN 2003! They’ll be doing commentary at the table Shane destroyed, which actually had equipment included (even down to the Raw Magazine). And yes, they’re sitting at the broken table because that needed to be broken before this happens.

Val Venis vs. Test

Val blows a kiss to Stacy Keibler so Test jumps him as Snow and Coach are doing commentary on their own. Test stops to yell at Stacy and gets decked from behind, including a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. The Money Shot is broken up as Test kicks the referee into the ropes (not a DQ of course), setting up the pumphandle slam. That’s only good for two as Stacy makes a save, meaning it’s time for a chase. Cue Scott Steiner for a distraction, causing Test to crotch himself. Stacy bounces the ropes a bit (with her skirt flying WAY up), allowing Val to hit a half nelson slam for the fast pin.

Post match Steiner cleans house until Test pulls Stacy out (sending the skirt up again).

Lawler comes to the ring and wants to face Snow right now. Well after a break that is.

Great Moment in Goldberg History: the Elimination Chamber. They have to hammer that one in one more time before he wins on Sunday don’t they?

Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow

Snow is in street clothes. Coach joins JR on commentary, doing a JR impression in the process. Snow headlocks him down to start as the announcers bicker a lot. Lawler is right back with a DDT as JR yells at Coach for not knowing holds. A belly to back suplex takes King down as Coach talks about fans wanting a commentator in a white hat. Back up and Lawler grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Coach decks JR, who rants about the EVIL announcers after a break.

We look back at Shane and Kane earlier.

Pay per view rundown.

Evolution is heading to the ring for the farewell party when they run into Austin. On Sunday, if HHH gets disqualified, he loses the title. Therefore, they’re staying back here tonight while HHH goes to the ring on his own.

We can hear him talking but the arena can’t, meaning the longest string of HELLO HELLO HELLO in wrestling history. He finally gets a working microphone and gets right back on track. HHH: “I wasn’t aware that Goldberg made microphones.” This brings HHH to the present, which is a picture of Evolution beating Goldberg down in a cage last week. We see a clip of last weeks beatdown until a bandaged Goldberg pops up on screen. He says he’ll win the title, comes to the ring to press HHH into a powerslam, and poses to end the show. This was really boring as HHH went on forever without saying much of anything, as only he can.

Overall Rating: D-. And so much for me wanting to see Unforgiven. It’s the same usual nonsense: focusing on a bunch of non-wrestlers, the idea that Shane McMahon can fight Kane far better than Rob Van Dam could seem to hope to and a HHH vs. Goldberg title change that should have taken place a month ago. This was a complete waste of a go home show with a bunch of matches that meant nothing (the one match to break five minutes had a commercial and two didn’t break thirty five seconds) and one dumb story after another. Maybe a new World Champion will help, but I’m not exactly optimistic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 12, 2018
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

Tonight is still about the Elimination Chamber, with the final spot in the men’s match being set this week. That means a four way match between most of the people who already lost qualifying matches, because that’s the way to make people care about them. Other than that we have an appearance from John Cena, which could go multiple ways. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a fired up John Cena to get things going. It’s a special time of year because Wrestlemania is right around the corner and that means everyone gets to be a legend all over again. However, with less than two weeks to go before the Elimination Chamber, Cena has to win the match. If he doesn’t do it there, he might not have a road to Wrestlemania. Yes, they’re seriously trying to say that Cena won’t be on WRESTLEMANIA if he’s not in the main event.

Anyway Cena talks about how insane his path is, as he has to win the Chamber to get to face the unbeatable Brock Lesnar. That sounds impossible, but impossible is what Cena does. Cue the Miz, to say Cena is the founder of Suplex City. He’s going to become the first ever Universal and Intercontinental Champion. Cena laughs off the idea of Miz beating Lesnar, unless Brock misses his flight or gets frozen in a block of ice.

Miz brings up the smart point of not being dumb enough to charge at Lesnar like Cena would. He knows how to adapt, which is why he beat Roman Reigns for the Intercontinental Title. Cena says he likes Miz because he’s a big talker and sometimes backs it up. Since we’re in what seems to be Miz country (due to the CENA SUCKS chants), how about a match right now with the winner entering the Chamber first?

Miz doesn’t think much of it so the Miztourage jumps Cena, laying him out with a reverse 3D. That’s enough for Miz to accept….but here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt. After stumbling over his lines a bit, Angle says he likes the match and says it’s on. Here’s a referee, but the Miztourage is being sent to the back.

The Miz vs. John Cena

Non-title. Miz covers for two and hammers away for two more as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting his top rope ax handle for two and putting a knee in the ribs for the same. Some rights and lefts to the ribs set up a sleeper for a good while, eventually taking us to a second break.

We come back again with Cena being put into the Figure Four, only to easily raise Miz’s leg for the break. That sets up the STF but Miz is quickly in the ropes. Instead Miz heads up top for a high crossbody, only to have Cena roll through into the AA. That’s countered as well with Miz grabbing a DDT for two. The AA hits on the second attempt but that’s only good for two as well.

Miz crotches him on top and we hit the Figure Four again, but Cena reverses into a Crossface of all things. After the rope is grabbed again, Miz grabs a quick Skull Crushing Finale for two more and frustration is setting in. The frustration is so strong that Miz takes Cena up top for a super Skull Crushing Finale, only to be reversed into the super AA to give Cena the pin at 16:04.

Rating: B. They did a good job of teasing an upset here and while that doesn’t make up for the fact that the Intercontinental Champion lost clean, it does make things a lot easier. Miz being in at #1 will help him a bit as he’ll lose the match but have taken such a beating that it doesn’t matter as much. Also, another good match from these two as that Wrestlemania match looks more and more like a fluke every time they’re out there.

Post match Cena goes into the crowd to say something to a handicapped kid, who also gets a wrist band. Miz is announced as the loser, just to hammer the point home.

Matt Hardy promises to turn the Elimination Chamber into the Deletion Chamber through the power of the seven deities.

Anderson and Gallows are sick of Revival being all nerdy and want to beat them up.

Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Revival jumps them in the aisle and it’s a chop block to take Gallows’ knee out. The match is on anyway with Gallows hammering on Dawson in the corner. A big right hand rocks Dawson again and everything breaks down. Anderson distracts the referee, allowing a second chop block to take Gallows down again.

Back from a break with Revival working on the knee, as they certainly should be doing. A big boot is enough to set up the hot tag to Anderson and house is cleaned in a hurry. Anderson knees Dawson in the face (“HI-YAH!”) and scores with a jumping neckbreaker. Gallows gets sent outside though, leaving Revival to hit the Shatter Machine for the pin at 7:43.

Rating: C. That should do it for the feud and Revival winning is quite the relief. Now can we get the titles on some faces so Revival can win the things, hopefully at some point in the next few months. The Bar has been fine as champions but we need some fresh blood. By fresh, I mean one of the most old school teams in years of course.

We recap the Tag Team Title situation from last week, including Jason Jordan having a severe neck injury and being out for awhile.

Here’s Angle for a chat. First of all, at Elimination Chamber, Ronda Rousey will be signing her contract at Elimination Chamber. That brings him to Jordan, who will be out of action for a long time with that neck surgery. He’s actually going to miss Wrestlemania, which certainly pleases the fans. Angle says he’s going to be a father for a change now, and goes into a bit of a rant against the fans, saying Jordan tries and now the fans are happy he’s missing Wrestlemania.

This brings out Seth Rollins to say he understands what it’s like to miss Wrestlemania. Rollins doesn’t have a title right now or a Money in the Bank briefcase or a match at Elimination Chamber. Angle suggests that he can find Seth another partner but that’s not what Seth had in mind. Seth used to be the World Champion and he wants to turn this place back into Monday Night Rollins.

That’s why he wants Brock Lesnar and he wants the Universal Title at Wrestlemania. The only way he can do that is by winning the Elimination Chamber, and there happens to be one more spot available. Seth wants the main event to become a fatal five way but Angle says that’s not fair to the other four. Instead, Angle puts it up to the fans, who agree to let Rollins in the match. I’ll give them points for trying to make us believe that it’s going to be anyone other than Reigns winning. I mean, it’s hard to believe anything else, but they’re trying.

Bray Wyatt says he’s a hungry shark who is going to win his second straight Chamber.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Feeling out process to start but they’re both seeming rather aggressive here. Sasha sends her into the corner and scores with the running knees to a seated Bayley for two. Bayley gets sent outside and Sasha holds the ropes for her, much to Bayley’s annoyance. The somehow still bad shoulder is sent into the barricade and Sasha is in control as we take a break. Back with Sasha still on the shoulder and hitting the running knees in the corner. Sasha tries it again but charges into a clothesline.

It’s time for the comeback with Bayley getting all fired up and hitting another clothesline for two. The top rope elbow misses though and the Bank Statement goes on. Bayley FINALLY crawls over to the ropes, despite Sasha putting her foot on the rope to keep them away. A hard toss sends Sasha face first into the middle buckle and they’re both down. Sasha heads up top but gets caught, setting up a super Bayley to Belly for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: B-. Another pairing with good chemistry and that’s always going to be the case. Bayley needed this win a lot more than Banks did and given that there’s a chance of a new champion in the Chamber, it’s nice to have something like this actually mean something. Also, thankfully they gave Bayley a hometown win for a change, which doesn’t often happen.

Post match they stare each other down and tease a fight, only to have Nia Jax come in and run them over. Jax hits a pair of Samoan drops before saying these two took Asuka to the limit. Now she destroyed them both, so she can destroy Asuka. Coach says that’s easier said than done and she beat them both up after a five star match.

Rollins and Reigns are in the back and trade some barbs about going on to Wrestlemania. The Bar comes in and says they’ll put the two of them in the hospital with Dean and Jason. Reigns: “What happened to your mouth? Oh that’s right: you ran into the Shield.” More insults send the Bar scurrying.

We get a Rumble by the Numbers video on Asuka’s undefeated streak:

860 days

240 wins

0 losses

34 Opponents

4 Continents Asuka has defeated them in

11 Countries she’s won in

8 Opponents have been former champions and they’ve all tapped out

2.5 years undefeated

523 Days as NXT Women’s Champion

7^th Longest Reign All Time

7 People have been a Sole Survivor of a Survivor Series match and won the Royal Rumble with Asuka as the first woman

15 Former Champions Asuka defeated in the Royal Rumble

Apollo Crews isn’t worried about being deleted because he’s going to create history. He isn’t scared of the eater of worlds because Bray can’t digest him. Tonight he’ll extinguish Seth’s fire and he’s in the only club he wants to be in. Dana Brooke coins the term Crews Can’t Lose and dancing ensues. Crews was showing some good fire here and it was a lot better than his usual talking.

Mickie James doesn’t trust Alexa Bliss’ offers of friendship, mainly because of the whole Mickie is old stuff from a few months back. Bliss praises her and Mickie wants to know what she wants. Alexa lets it slip that she wants a friend in the Chamber and Mickie isn’t surprised.

Absolution vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Mickie headscissors Mandy down to start but it’s off to Sonya for a little more success. An elbow drops Sonya but she’s right back up with shoulders in the corner. A hurricanrana out of the corner gives Mickie a breather so she’s right back up with a Thesz press. Mandy is right back in and hammering Mickie down, only to get caught with a neckbreaker. Sonya runs over to pull Bliss off the apron though, allowing Rose to hit her lifting sitout Pedigree for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: D. This was all it needed to be with Absolution getting a little momentum before the pay per view. I’m hoping the Bliss stuff is just a ruse for the Chamber as turning her face so soon isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I’m sure she could play a face but why do that when she’s so awesome with the character she already has?

Bliss saves James from a post match attack.

Here’s Elias, who Cole and company are now calling the WWE’s Bob Dylan. Elias rips on San Jose for only being an hour away from a real city like San Francisco. We hear about his win last week but Elias doesn’t seem to think much of this crowd. The song is called the Elimination Chamber Blues but Elias won’t sing over the booing. But never mind because he’s sounding really good tonight so he’ll do it anyway. Elias sings about the people he’s going to beat and why none of them have a chance.

Cue Braun Strowman…..with his own chair and microphone. He goes off into the shadows…..and pulls out a freaking string bass, which he puts on his lap like a regular guitar. Naturally that breaks as well but Strowman sings about wanting to hurt Elias anyway. Since he broke it though, there’s only one thing left to do. He throws the bass over his shoulder and carries it to the ring where Elias grabs the guitar. The powerslam crushes Elias and he crawls up the ramp, only to have Strowman crack the bass over his back. This was HILARIOUS and the sight gag of Strowman whipping the bass out was incredible.

Finn Balor says he’ll win tonight.

Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus

Reigns wastes no time in hitting a clothesline to send Sheamus outside for a breather. They slug it out on the floor with Sheamus being whipped into the barricade, only to come back with a Regal Roll. Back from a break with Sheamus working on the ribs before throwing him shoulder first into the post for two. Sheamus slaps on the Cloverleaf for a bit but Reigns powers over to the ropes.

The Samoan drop gives Roman two, followed by White Noise for the same on Reigns. There’s the Superman Punch for two more on Sheamus, only to have him come back with a knee to the face for two of his own. They head outside again with the apron dropkick being clotheslined down. Sheamus goes up top, only to have Reigns spear him out of the air back inside for the pin at 14:24.

Rating: B-. These two can beat each other up with the best of them and that’s what we got here. I liked the idea of having Reigns win here as it’s not like he’s beating anyone else in the Chamber and it’s not like Sheamus losing a singles match means that much to him. Good brawl here, which is all it needed to be.

Ivory Hall of Fame video, which is one of the most amazing displays of dancing around a name having very little business being in the Hall of Fame. They call her title defense at Wrestlemania XVII the peak of her career. For those of you who don’t remember, she was squashed less than three minutes. Oh and ESPN broke the story. They put up a picture of Victoria in their tweet, but they did break the story. Ivory was a good hand in the ring but if you couldn’t get Molly or Victoria this year, it might have been better to just not have a female entrant.

Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy vs. Apollo Crews vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

One fall to a finish and we’re joined in progress with Crews cleaning house until Balor sends him to the apron for a kick to the head. An Eye of the Hurricane gives Finn two on Bray but Matt has to break up Sister Abigail. Crews and Rollins head up top but it’s Bray breaking up a superplex. The release Rock Bottom into the backsplash is good for two on Crews and we take a break.

Back with Matt applauding Bray before hitting him with the Side Effect. It’s too early for the Twist of Fate though with Rollins making the save. A double Blockbuster takes Crews and Wyatt down, followed by a suicide dive on Wyatt. Back in and one heck of a clothesline gives Bray two on Rollins. The Sling Blade cuts Bray down but Rollins breaks up the Coup de Grace. Bray gets back up so Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two of his own.

Rollins hits the Curb Stomp on Balor for two with Crews diving in for the save. A pop up Samoan drop into the standing moonsault gives Crews two on Rollins. The standing shooting star gets the same and frustration is setting in. Bray pulls Matt outside for Sister Abigail on the floor to knock him silly. Back in and Bray loads up a superplex on Crews, only to have it reversed into the Tower of Doom. Balor and Rollins cover Wyatt at the same time and it’s a double pin at 16:18.

Rating: B. Fun match and the ending is acceptable enough. I can get the idea that they’re going with of wanting the Wrestlemania moment, assuming you can ignore Cole saying it doesn’t get much bigger than this. You know, if you ignore the match they’re trying to get into for a shot at the bigger match. Anyway, this had a lot of good action and energy, though I’m getting a bit tired of having these free for all matches so often.

They argue and we fade out, with commentary not even saying good night.

Overall Rating: B. For some reason I couldn’t quite bring myself to love what was a pretty awesome show. There was good wrestling up and down the card, an outstanding Strowman segment and a story to get us to the Chamber where Reigns is the most obvious winner ever. I liked almost everything they did tonight though as this was one of the moving day episodes of the show. They got some stuff done and built towards the pay per view while giving us a reason to come back next week. Good show here as they actually did what they were supposed to do.

Results

John Cena b. The Miz – Super AA

Revival b. Anderson and Gallows – Shatter Machine to Anderson

Bayley b. Sasha Banks – Super Bayley to Belly

Absolution b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss – Lifting sitout facebuster

Roman Reigns b. Sheamus – Spear

Seth Rollins and Finn Balor b. Apollo Crews, Bray Wyatt and Matt Hard – Double pin on Wyatt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2003
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on Unforgiven and the big story is….well I’m not sure actually. Maybe it’s HHH vs. Goldberg? Or is it Shane McMahon vs. Kane? Or is it whatever Vince McMahon and company are up to when he crosses over to this show? Either way last week’s show was the slightest upgrade so hopefully that trend continues. The show is opening with Kane vs. Rob Van Dam inside a steel cage as the annual fight against Monday Night Football begins. Let’s get to it.

I’ve actually already done this show. Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/monday-night-raw-september-8-2003-when-the-highlight-of-the-show-is-mollys-hair-youre-in-trouble/

The cage is lowered.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Pin or escape to win (I’m assuming submission is implied). Kane jumps Rob on his entrance and the beating is on in a hurry. Van Dam gets a boot up in the corner though and the basement dropkick puts Kane down again. That just earns Rob a trip into the cage and Kane crushes his head against the steel like a violent monster should. Van Dam is already busted so Kane sends him into the cage again.

Kane blocks the kicks and throws him into the cage for the third time in a row. Rob crotches him on top though and a top rope kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder. A ram into the cage looks to set up the Five Star but Rob only hits mat. Kane is right back up with an Alley Oop onto the ropes/into the cage. To mix things up, Kane sends him into the cage a few more times, only to break the wall so Rob can fall out for the win.

And of course not because Eric Bischoff is RIGHT THERE to say it had to be over the top or through the door so that doesn’t count. Back from a break with Kane sending him back inside and sending him into the cage over and over again. The door is slammed on Rob’s head but Kane lets him climb halfway up the cage. A few kicks allow Rob to get even further, only to be pulled down for a super chokeslam and the pin.

Rating: D-. Good night this was boring. It was nearly fifteen minutes of Kane throwing him into the cage over and over with nothing changing from beginning to end. Kane is a monster and that’s all well and good, but now I’m supposed to buy Shane McMahon as having a chance against him? After this kind of destruction of a former Intercontinental Champion?

Van Dam is taken out on a stretcher.

We look at Goldberg running through Evolution last week.

Here’s Bischoff for some announcements before Steve Austin gives the State of the Raw Address tonight. First up: Kane vs. Shane is official for Unforgiven. He’s also changing a match at the pay per view. Now it’s going to be JR/King vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman with the winners being the permanent Raw commentators. As for tonight, it’s Goldberg/a mystery partner vs. HHH/a mystery partner with Bischoff picking the partners. The partners are going to be Flair and Orton aren’t they? Also, what does it say that Coach/Snow vs. JR/King is a major upgrade? That’s how bad things were looking.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

After I take a few seconds to get my eyes back in my head from seeing Jackie Gayda here, we see Storm worrying to Goldust about being called boring tonight. Goldust is proud of Storm’s progress though. Last week he was jaywalking and had a double bacon cheeseburger with extra pickles. Goldust: “And who was pleasuring themselves with a pop up book?” Storm: “That was you man.”

Storm even does the Goldust breath and actually does it quite well. Before the match, Rico tries to start the BORING chants but gets RICO SUCKS instead. Storm punches him in the mouth to start and grabs a suplex for two. A rake of the eyes cuts Storm off though and let’s talk about the Unforgiven tag match. Rico’s hiptoss into a neckbreaker gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Storm comes back with clotheslines and a kiss to Jackie (sexual assault isn’t boring) and a springboard missile dropkick puts Rico away. Storm’s celebration doesn’t work that well given the lack of music.

Bischoff won’t tell HHH who the partner will be. Given that it’s going to be Orton or Flair, I’m not sure why he won’t say anything.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Having Trish run through all the random partners like this isn’t exactly showcasing any talent or depth to the division. Molly and Jackie get things going as JR thinks the villains are jealous of Trish. Haven’t they said that multiple times already? Jackie rolls her up for two, followed by a basement dropkick for the same on Gail. A double DDT plants Jackie as King says JR needs to be taking notes.

Due to reasons of stupidity brought on by jealousy, Gail throws Jackie over for the tag to Trish. That earns her a Thesz press as Trish starts cleaning house. A headlock takeover/headscissor combination takes both villains down but they toss Trish to the floor for a painful looking crash. That’s actually enough to give Gail the pin.

Rating: D. I’ll certainly take an uninspired motivation over no motivation so the Molly and Gail being jealous of Trish story is fine enough. You can kind of tell what they’re building to with Trish’s eventual partner and there’s nothing wrong with where they’re going. If nothing else, Gail is already improving beyond “she’s a face who can do hurricanranas”. Match was nothing of course, but the crash at the end looked good.

Here’s Austin for the State of Raw Address. He chucks the podium over the top because that’s just not the Steve Austin style. Before we get to Raw though, there’s something he needs to address regarding Unforgiven. HHH vs. Goldberg is title vs. career so HHH is going to do whatever he can to retain the title. Therefore, if HHH gets disqualified, he loses the title.

Moving on, we have Kane running around like a monster and electrocuting a man’s testicles. Note for future reference: Austin shouldn’t say testicles. Anyway, that should warrant Austin whipping Kane but that’s against the rules. After a meeting with his cabinet (his liquor cabinet that is), he’s decided that it sucks and the audience poll agrees.

This brings out Christian before any announcement can be made about Kane, which is rather rude. Christian says that what really sucks is the lack of respect from Austin. He knows he’s not getting an apology and the peepulation in Huntsville is outraged over these developments. Austin: “The entire peepulation thinks you’re an a******.” Christian: “I want my own talk show!”. His win over Jericho last week shows that he’s the real thing around here, so the Highlight Reel should be turned into the Peep Show.

This brings out Jericho and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Now one would assume that’s a face turn, but Jericho immediately starts yelling at Austin. Jericho calls Austin a bully and a failure as a GM, not to mention a human being. He wants to see Austin fired every single day because the Highlight Reel can’t be canceled.

Austin doesn’t intend to cancel the show and offers Jericho a beer. Jericho is on to this game though and isn’t about to provoke Austin into beating him up. Jericho: “If you want to see me drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, give me a doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy do”. Austin: “That was the absolute worst catchphrase I’ve ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw”.

Jericho drops the beer Austin throws him though and you can tell things are getting serious. In a funny bit, Austin tosses another one from about a foot away and beer is consumed….but Jericho slaps him on the back. That means a Stunner so beer can fly everywhere, ending this segment which somehow only accomplished adding another stipulation to HHH vs. Goldberg. I mean….am I missing another point to this? Did we really need a five minute Jericho and Austin segment with the same ending that almost all Austin segments have?

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Hurricane/Rosey/Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start (shocking) with the good guys cleaning house and D-Von throwing Spike onto La Resistance. Dupree takes What’s Up and it’s already table time. Bubba and Henry have the hoss fight on the floor, leaving Rosey to double clothesline Conway and Dupree. It’s off to Spike, who actually manages to send Mark outside, where he comes up holding his leg. That’ll likely be six months on the shelf.

Hurricane comes in off the hot tag to clean house until Bubba tags himself in for a double Flip Flop and Fly. Spike chases Grenier to the back and Dupree takes a Samoan drop/swinging neckbreaker combination from the heroes. Rosey goes shoulder first into the post, only to have Conway take 3D. Mack gets a Bubba Bomb but Henry is back in with the World’s Strongest Slam to pin Bubba. You can feel the energy go out of the arena on the pin.

Rating: D. This got energetic at the end but a ten man tag needs a heck of a lot more than five minutes to go anywhere. Cut out Spike and Conway and this is a little better but still, too many people trying to do too many things. The act that La Resistance vs. the Dudleys is WAY out of gas at this point didn’t help either.

Post match La Resistance tries the double spinebuster over the top to put Spike through a table but leave him WAY too short, sending the back of his head off the edge of the table, which doesn’t break. Oh but they do put Hurricane through the table to no reaction because the fans are worried that Spike has a broken neck. So they’re boring and can’t do a table spot safely. Well done guys. But hey, at least they can get cheap anti-American heat and that validates everything.

And now, after one of the scariest looking botches you’ll ever see (though Spike seemed to be ok), let’s go to Coach, Snow and Bischoff making fun of JR and King. How many people even know they’re the Heat commentators? Better yet, why are they the Heat commentators? After that comedic brilliance, Bischoff makes a six man tables match with La Resistance/Rob Conway vs. the Dudleys at Unforgiven. Coach and Snow have something in store for JR tonight but Gail Kim comes in to want to talk to Eric. This includes shoving him into a locker and sitting on his lap. Ok then.

HHH compares Goldberg to a can of YJ Stinger (energy drink sponsor). The difference is the Stinger gets the job done and Goldberg is nothing but hype.

We look back at the cage match and Van Dam being destroyed.

Unforgiven rundown. All these matches that feel like leftovers from previous pay per views are making me think of spoiled milk.

Shane McMahon is in WWE Studios in Connecticut for an interview but Bischoff interrupts and makes Kane vs. Shane a Last Man Standing match. Again, because Shane isn’t a wrestler and can’t have a regular match. Shane: “Screw you Eric.” Eric: “I just screwed you.”

Gail, now minus the coat she had when she went to see Bischoff, adjusts her top while telling Molly that the deal went through and they’ll finish Trish next week.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Victoria, Test and Stacy Keibler are here. Steiner throws him into the corner to start but Test’s distraction lets Steven grab a neckbreaker for two. That just earns him an overhead suplex and some chops in the corner. There’s the push-up elbow but Steiner decides to bring Victoria in instead. Test gives Steiner a full nelson slam for two but the Stevie Kick is blocked. Steiner’s Flatliner is good for the pin.

Post match Steiner says Stacy should be with him again so let’s have ANOTHER Test vs. Steiner match for Stacy’s services. This time though, Steiner’s services are on the line as well. Therefore, if Test wins, Steiner has to watch Test and Stacy. That took quite the turn and that’s not exactly something I need to see.

Next up: Bischoff announcing Flair and Orton as HHH and Goldberg’s partners.

Actually we get Coach and Snow in the ring for the “comedy”. It’s the old (and bad) someone’s face on unfunny pictures with a theme of what JR could do after he’s fired. Several involve JR being some sort of woman, or a mule at the end. JR comes to the ring, gets insulted some more and punches Coach out. What is this? Four segments on a match between announcers, a part time wrestler and a commentator? Against the debut of Monday Night Football?

Goldberg doesn’t know who his partner is and doesn’t care. It’s going to be Flair or Orton. I don’t know why this is in any kind of doubt because it’s the only thing Bischoff would logically do.

Goldberg/??? vs. HHH/???

And of course the partners are Orton and Flair respectively.

No match as the beatdown is on and the cage is lowered, trapping them all inside. King of course says that means no one can get in to save them, not understanding the concept of “there is no roof”. Goldberg fights back for a bit until a chair shot takes him down. The bloody Goldberg is beaten down but falls out of the first Pedigree attempt to make this look even worse. The second one Pedigree actually works and HHH talks a lot of trash to end the show. You knew this was coming when Goldberg looked dominant last week because AT BEST he’s allowed to go 50/50 with HHH.

Overall Rating: D-. There were a few spots in there that weren’t as dark as others but that’s as good as I can go. The problem here is it felt like the punted with Monday Night Football being sure to dominate the night. That makes sense, but it’s not a good sign when so much of the show is a repeat or continuation of a story that has been going on FAR too long now. Get to Unforgiven so we can get past it because this is all bad stuff at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Corey Graves

We’re less than a month away from Elimination Chamber and that means we need to fill in the Chambers. Three men have already qualified for their match and tonight we’ll have another name added as Roman Reigns faces Bray Wyatt. Other than that we might get some more updates on John Cena’s weird actions last week so let’s get to it.

Bray Wyatt talks about his greatest victory taking place inside the Elimination Chamber. When he looks at Reigns, all he sees is a string of failures. Tonight, that string continues.

Reigns says the failures and successes are the marks of a great journey. He’ll spear Wyatt in half and march on to Wrestlemania to take Suplex City apart. Ignore Reigns reading this off a card.

The announcers are back near the stage instead of at ringside like they were for most of last week.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns

They trade headlocks to start until Reigns powers him into the corner. A charge misses though to give Bray two as Matt Hardy is watching in the back. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Reigns fights back and clotheslines him to the floor. The apron dropkick is broken up with a hard clothesline and Reigns is sent into the steps as we take a break. Back with Wyatt holding a reverse chinlock until Reigns grabs a Samoan drop.

Bray runs him over with the crossbody and takes Reigns to the corner. The superplex attempt is reversed into a powerbomb for two on Bray and Wyatt is in trouble. He’s fine enough to counter the Superman Punch into a release Rock Bottom and the backsplash gets two. Reigns’ spear is blocked and Sister Abigail gets two and it’s time to just unload with right hands. Another Sister Abigail is blocked and the spear (which was a shove minus any significant contact) sends Reigns to the Chamber at 14:50.

Rating: C+. These two have solid chemistry but that was a bad ending. Reigns just shrugs everything off and mostly misses a spear for the pin. It’s also REALLY hard to buy Reigns as being in jeopardy when you know full well what’s coming at Wrestlemania. But let’s just act like there’s drama there and hope for the best right?

Post match Matt Hardy comes in and hits a Twist of Fate on Bray.

Seth Rollins is worried about Jason Jordan being too injured to help the team tonight.

Finn Balor vs. Dash Wilder

Hang on a second as Scott Dawson wants to make this a tag match if Balor wants to pick one of his buddies to be his partner. We’ve got a deal.

Finn Balor/Karl Anderson vs. Revival

Anderson and Wilder get things going with neither being able to get very far. Instead everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s Revival being sent to the floor in a heap as we take an early break. Back with Dawson holding Finn in an armbar until Balor fights up without too much effort. Anderson gets the hot tag and cleans house, including a spinebuster for two on Dawson. It’s back to Balor for the Sling Blade, followed by the shotgun dropkick on Dawson. The Coup de Grace is good for the pin on Scott at 8:10.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here and while I wouldn’t have had the Revival lose (again), at least they’re losing to wrestlers who can get something out of it and aren’t in their 50s. That being said, it would be nice to see Revival either succeed or fail in back to back weeks for a change instead of getting my hopes up and wildly dashing them the next.

Sasha Banks is watching her match with Asuka from last week when Bayley comes in to say Sasha needs to stop torturing herself. Sasha wants to prove that she’s still the Boss around here. Bayley brings up Sasha eliminating her from the Rumble and Sasha says she’d do it again in the Chamber. As usual, the scene was fine but the promos sounded terrible because they were reading off a script instead of being allowed to sound natural.

Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

205 Live GM Drake Maverick is on commentary. Nese shoves Ali around to start and it’s off to Cedric in a hurry. Tony powers him down as well and it’s off to Gulak for an ax handle to the ribs. Cedric is sat on the top rope and a hard clothesline from Gulak sends him down onto his shoulder.

A missed charge sends Nese into the corner and the hot tag brings in Ali for a high dropkick. The tornado DDT gets two on Gulak with Nese making the save. Cedric is right back up with a HUGE flip dive to take Nese down but Gulak rolls through Ali’s high crossbody for two. A blind tag brings in Cedric and it’s the springboard clothesline into the Lumbar Check to end Gulak at 4:18.

Rating: C-. The energy was good but, again, they’re not exactly doing anything we haven’t seen before. What they are doing though is putting the bigger matches on 205 Live and leaving this nothing match on Raw. That was a huge problem for months and hopefully this is a big step in fixing things.

Here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to announce who will be joining Alexa Bliss in the Elimination Chamber. Challenging Bliss will be Bayley, Mandy Rose, Mickie James, Sonya Deville and Sasha Banks. You may notice the lack of Nia Jax, who will be facing Asuka at the pay per view. If Jax wins, she’ll be added to the Women’s Title match at Wrestlemania to make it a triple threat.

Cue Alexa Bliss to say this is unfair. She wants to know why there’s a double standard going on. Why is she fighting in the Chamber while Brock Lesnar just has to face the winner? Alexa thinks it’s sexist so Angle polls the audience on their opinion. The fans chant YES but Bliss walks out.

John Cena is ready to fight his way to Wrestlemania and winning a triple threat match tonight is the perfect way to get there.

Bayley vs. Asuka

Bayley grabs a hammerlock to start but her shoulder block just annoys Asuka. A slugout goes to Asuka and she takes Bayley down with ease. Asuka speeds things up but gets knocked off the top and out to the floor. Bayley slides out for a hurricanrana but a hip attack sends her into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Asuka elbowing her way to freedom but having another hip attack countered into a hard belly to back suplex for two. Asuka knees her in the head though and a hard kick to the back drops Bayley again. Now the hip attack connects again but Asuka misses a high crossbody. Bayley knees her in the head for two but Asuka grabs the Asuka Lock over the ropes.

That’s broken up with a Stunner to send them outside but Bayley has to stop the YES Kicks back inside. They Bayley to Belly is countered and the Asuka Lock goes most of the way on. A rollup gives Bayley a VERY close two (I bought it for a second) but the cross armbreaker makes Bayley tap at 11:14.

Rating: B. That’s Bayley’s best match in a long time because they played to her strengths: fighting from behind against a better opponent that she shouldn’t be beating. She’s good with hope spots, even if there’s no reason to believe Asuka was going to lose. The drama helped and Bayley was working hard to get in a good match.

Post match Bayley shakes Asuka’s hand.

Miz is here for his Elimination Chamber qualifying match and says his star has never been brighter. Two weeks ago, he defeated Roman Reigns to get the Intercontinental Title back and it was the highest rated show in four years. See, now that’s the kind of heel logic we need to see more often. He’s going to win the Chamber and move on to Wrestlemania where the reality show cameras will be rolling and his daughter will be born to see him win the Universal Title.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Joined in progress with Crews holding Miz in a delayed vertical suplex. We hit a pinfall reversal sequence for two each until Crews hits his Ultimate Warrior gorilla press drop. The standing moonsault hits knees though and Miz grabs a bodyscissors. Back up and Crews hits a sliding kick to the head to take over again, including catching the running corner clothesline. Now a standing moonsault into a standing shooting star combine for two on Miz but he crotches Crews on top. The Skull Crushing Finale sends Miz to the Chamber at 5:27.

Rating: C. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Crews is getting better and better with the character work and a lot of that is due to Titus Worldwide. It’s certainly not a strong gimmick or character but it’s better than nothing and that’s an upgrade at this point. If he can go somewhere off that, he could be a breakout star. For now though, just settle for good performances.

Jordan has hurt his neck and is out of the match tonight. Rollins needs a new partner so here’s Roman Reigns to take the spot.

Tag Team Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. The Bar

Rollins and Reigns are challenging. Sheamus shoulders Rollins down to start and it’s quickly off to Cesaro. This goes a bit better for Rollins who knocks Cesaro into the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Reigns. It’s time to start on Cesaro’s arm and everything breaks down in a hurry.

Seth’s suicide dive is countered into the Irish Curse and Reigns is sent into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Reigns in trouble in the corner as the Bar takes turns hammering him down. Sheamus is smart enough to knock Rollins of the apron but walks into a Superman Punch. Cue Jordan to help Rollins up to the apron so he can get the hot tag from Reigns. Everything breaks down and it’s a Blockbuster to Cesaro, followed by a suicide dive to Sheamus.

Back in and the Sling Blade gets two on Cesaro as Rollins is on a roll. The suplex into the Falcon Arrow gets two more before Jordan trips Cesaro up. Reigns tells Jordan to get out as Cesaro eats the wind-up knee. Sheamus dives into a superkick but Cesaro breaks up the DoubleBomb. Jordan won’t let the Bar leave though, eventually punching them both for the DQ at 13:33.

Rating: B-. I know we’re still waiting on the heel turn from Jordan and I think this is about all we’re going to get. Rollins and Reigns were rolling here but they were smart to not change the titles here. If Jordan’s injury is as severe as it’s rumored to be, I have no idea who Rollins is supposed to face going forward though. This tag stuff has run its course and he needs something better in the future, which Jordan wasn’t going to be no matter how healthy he was.

We look at Braun Strowman destroying Kane last week.

Strowman is ready to hurt Cena and Elias.

Jordan and Rollins are still arguing when Angle comes in. Seth wishes he was the one who hurt Jordan but Kurt says that’s too far. Jason tries to defend himself but Angle screams at him to go home and stay home until he’s cleared.

Video on Nia Jax.

Nia Jax vs. Vanessa Floyd

A toss, a splash, a gorilla press drop and the big leg for the pin at 1:13.

Post match Nia says she doesn’t fear Asuka and Asuka is going to be wearing the mask permanently. After Elimination Chamber, Asuka will be the empress of yesterday.

Sonya Deville vs. Mickie James

Sonya takes her down to start and drives Mickie into the corner, only to have James slug away with right hands. One of the shots might have broken Sonya’s nose so Mickie adds some knees to the face, followed by a running kick to the chest for two. A hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up by a Mandy distraction and Sonya kicks away to keep her in trouble. Mickie grabs a very quick rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 3:37.

Rating: C-. They were hitting each other hard here and that made for an entertaining match. Mickie can certainly still go and was a heck of a hire for the division, meaning she’ll be awesome in the Chamber as well. The Chamber should be a lot of fun and if they book it right could make for a heck of a fight. That being said, if they don’t do things the right way (the lack of a monster is REALLY going to hurt things), it could be a mess.

Post match Absolution beats Mickie down until Bliss makes the save. That’s a very smart move as Bliss continues to try and make an alliance because she knows she’s done otherwise.

Next week: Finn Balor vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy for the last Chamber spot.

Here’s Elias to play for a bit, even though he hates small towns like this one. Normally he flies over it but tonight he’s stuck here, just before he takes over all of WWE. He skipped performing at the Super Bowl Halftime Show to be here but this song is for him. The song is about how Strowman is just a man and after this it’s on to Brock. Cue Cena to interrupt though and we’re ready to go.

John Cena vs. Braun Strowman vs. Elias

The winner gets to enter the Chamber in the six spot. That’s quite unfair as the two who qualified tonight don’t have a chance to get in. Why? Just because they weren’t booked last week? What bias. Elias bails to the floor to start so Strowman kicks Cena in the face as we take an early break.

Back with Strowman chasing Elias around the ring, only to get caught in an AA. Well an AA attempt at least as Cena collapses under the weight. Elias is clotheslined out to the floor but some double teaming keeps Strowman in trouble. A double clothesline puts Strowman on the floor and a pair of whips into the post keep him down.

The guitar over the back into the AA onto the steps have Strowman knocked silly but Elias uses the rest of the guitar on Cena. A backbreaker gives Elias two on Cena but he comes back with the finishing sequence. The Shuffle doesn’t work though as Braun is back in with the running powerslam on Cena. Elias escapes one of his own and sends Strowman to the floor before stealing the pin on Cena at 9:58.

Rating: D+. This was much shorter than I was expecting and while the surprise ending does help, I needed a little more than this one. Strowman as the unstoppable monster was a good idea, but it would help a bit if he wasn’t just there as the big guy to be vanquished by Reigns.

Post match Strowman powerslams both guys multiple times to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show more than I would have expected, which might have been aided by the nine matches in three hours. They advanced a bunch of stuff for the Chamber and that’s only going to help with two shows left to go. Hopefully things continue to move forward next week so we can start the proper build towards Wrestlemania. Good show this week.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear

Finn Balor/Karl Anderson b. Revival – Coup de Grace to Dawson

Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali b. Tony Nese/Drew Gulak – Lumbar Check to Gulak

Asuka b. Bayley – Cross armbreaker

The Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale

The Bar b. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns via DQ when Jason Jordan interfered

Nia Jax b. Vanessa Floyd – Legdrop

Mickie James b. Sonya Deville – Rollup

Elias b. John Cena and Braun Strowman – Running powerslam to Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2006
Location: RBC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and this time around it’s for a pretty simple reason. I’m not sure the match was announced in advance so we’ll save that for later, but it’s one of those matches that you hear and say either “well of course he did” or you’re so confused that you don’t know which way to go next. Let’s get to it.

I’ve already done the show before this one, which you can see here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/monday-night-raw-january-9-2006-live-sex-celebration/

It’s the Martin Luther King Jr. Day show and you know Vince is going to make sure to cover that one. That’s still cool yet kind of surprising at the same time.

Opening sequence.

The match was indeed known in advance: Edge vs. Ric Flair for the WWE Championship in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. I mean….what?

We look at Kurt Angle moving to Smackdown to become the new World Heavyweight Champion (due to Batista tearing his tricep and being put on the shelf for about six months). He’s facing Shawn Michaels tonight because this is a heck of a stacked show.

Here are Edge and Lita (just…..yeah) to open things up. People have been saying Edge stole his title from Cena at New Year’s Revolution but he won it fair and square. He’s absolutely right actually. That’s how Money in the Bank works and now he’s the WWE Champion. Edge calls the shots and now he gets to call the shots, which included a live sex celebration last week. Apparently that offended some people and that’s just too bad.

The end of last week’s show was the highest rated ending to Raw in two years (erg) and the day after he won the title, over 25 million people were on WWE.com (I repeat my previous erg. Wrestlers shouldn’t care about that stuff.). That makes him the most watched WWE Champion of all time. That makes quite the assumption. I might have been on there playing Out Think the Fink.

As for the people who didn’t like it, we see a clip of Ric Flair taking a Conchairto for interfering last week. Later tonight he’s going to finish Flair off in a TLC match but for right now, he wants live, uninterrupted sex with Lita right here. Obviously he’s not a Rocky fan because WOMEN WEAKEN LEGS. A chair is brought in and Lita removes Edge’s shirt before climbing on top of him.

Cue Kurt Angle with manager Daivari (King: “Can’t we just have some live sex?”) for the YOU SUCK chants with Angle saying were directed at Lita. Angle says tricks like this make him a joke while people like him know he’s the real thing. Edge says it made him smart and a challenge is made for a title unification match. That’s not happening because Edge isn’t lowering himself to fight Angle.

That means a release German suplex but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. He wants the two scheduled matches to take place tonight so Edge needs to go get ready. Vince: “And cover yourself up!” As for Angle, he’ll be facing Shawn tonight, but it’s a non-title match. Instead, Shawn is fighting for his contract and is gone if he loses. Long segment here but Edge is relishing this role and nailing it so far. Throw in Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle and Lita at perhaps her hottest ever and this was awesome on a variety of levels.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title but Shawn’s job is on the line. Shawn stares at Vince on the way to the ring because that’s one of the top stories of 2006. Joined in progress after a break with Shawn chasing Daivari around the ring before heading back inside for a headlock on the mat. Angle fights up and stomps away in the corner, only to get the skin chopped off of his chest. That doesn’t seem to both Angle though, who comes out with an overhead belly to belly. A hard German suplex gives Kurt two and we hit a bodyscissors.

Back up and Shawn chops him again but gets sent hard into the corner. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for two but Daivari low bridges Shawn to the floor. That earns Daivari a superkick, only to have Angle hit the Angle Slam on the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle having a belly to belly superplex broken up but running the corner to hit the super Angle Slam for two instead. A desperation Sweet Chin Music is countered into the ankle lock which Shawn reverses into a small package for two of his own.

The forearm into the nip up just earns Shawn another ankle lock but this one is kicked off in short order. Angle gets knocked down to set up a weird looking missed top rope elbow. The ankle lock goes on again and Shawn flails, eventually hitting Daivari as a bonus. Angle gets the grapevine but Daivari brings in a chair and Kurt lets go for some reason. As you might expect, Daivari swings the chair and this Angle, knocking him into a rollup to give Shawn the pin.

Rating: B. These two have very solid chemistry and make their matches look easy. The ending was a little bit messy but at least it keeps the new champion from losing clean. I mean, they could have had it be a countout or something but why do that when you can have him get pinned? Still though, very entertaining match here and that’s all you would have expected.

Angle yells at Daivari….who slaps him in the face. An Angle Slam over the top has Daivari looking rather dead.

During the break, Angle dumps Daivari.

Maria Kanellis, still the incredibly annoying and ditzy interviewer (that’s not a bad thing), shows Chris Masters Carlito turning on him at New Year’s Revolution. Masters blames Carlito for the loss and promises to win the Royal Rumble. Oh and tonight, John Cena is losing the Master Lock Challenge.

Ashley Massaro (never got the appeal and she was terrible in the ring) is worried about the six woman tag tonight but Trish Stratus tells her to calm down. The crazy lesbian stalker Mickie James (their partner tonight) comes in and apologizes for attacking Ashley last week. Psycho Mickie worked so well.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge. Masters introduces Cena as the former WWE Champion and we’re ready to go. We get a rare very pro-Cena chant as he sits down in the chair but Cena grabs the arm before the hold can go on. The hold goes on a few seconds later and Cena tries a variety of escapes to no avail. Cena fights up again and almost breaks it but here’s Edge for a belt shot to the head.

Shawn is having his ankle looked at when Vince comes in. Vince tells him to get out of the building before moving over to Ric Flair, on the trainer’s mat next to him. Last week Ric interrupted Vince’s celebration and tonight, Flair can make the magic happen one more time. Vince’s mistress Candice Michelle comes in and asks Vince to critique her match. She does her stupid dance and even Flair is giving this a look to say it’s the dumbest thing he’s ever seen.

Candice Michelle/Torrie Wilson/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Mickie James/Ashley

If there is ANY justice in the world, this will be all Trish/Mickie/Victoria. Torrie has her dog with her and Victoria is in her weird short/curlier hair phase (not a bad look, just very different than her usual one). But hang on: before the match we need a behind the scenes look at Candice Michelle’s GoDaddy commercial. In other words, it’s her in a white tank top washing windows. To be fair, they’re not trying to hide what they’re going for here and she makes jokes about the whole thing.

Victoria cranks on Trish’s arm to start (thank goodness) until a rollup gives Trish two. A headscissors out of the corner looks to set up Stratusfaction but Candice comes in, meaning Trish has to headscissor her down as well (with Trish’s tights going rather far down in the process). Ashley gets the hot tag, much to Mickie’s annoyance. She’s so annoyed that she spears Ashley down, setting up the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

As usual, it’s SO weird anymore to see the women as nothing but eye candy with the wrestling being a detail to look at them in their revealing outfits. Total mess of course but at least they had the right wrestlers in there for the most part. To tell you what Torrie meant here, she held the dog while standing on the apron.

Rob Van Dam is back in the Royal Rumble after missing a year of action due to a torn ACL.

Carlito takes credit for keeping Van Dam on the injured list even longer. The fans chant for RVD but Carlito doesn’t want to hear it because he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. No one on Raw or Smackdown can throw him over the top, and that’s cool. Kane, over the top, next segment.

A production guy tells Vince that a woman wants to see him. Vince thinks it’s Candice and says make her wait a minute.

Post break Vince is ready for her and starts stripping but instead it’s…..Mama Benjamin (a rather large woman played by a comedienne who managed her son Shelton Benjamin), who throws money at him. She wants to know why Shelton isn’t wrestling tonight while Shelton looks like he wants to die. Vince agrees to give him a match and Mama tells him to go get ready. Shelton leaves and Mama tells Vince to call her when he wants some chocolate thunder. Vince shivers as she leaves.

Royal Rumble rundown. All two matches announced so far.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Big Show

Show has a broken hand. Mama Benjamin is terrified (Shelton: “He just tall. That’s all Mama.”) and Show backs both of them into the corner. To his credit, Show opens the ropes for her (Mama: “You do the best you can son.”) and we’re ready to go. Show drops him without much effort but hurts the hand again. Shelton is smart enough to send the hand into the post and hits it again to break up the chokeslam. A fall away slam sends Shelton outside but here’s HHH (who broke Show’s hand) for a distraction, resulting in a countout win for Shelton.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Ric Flair

Edge is defending in a TLC match, the first ever singles version. Flair’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Ric goes over to hug his 19 year old daughter Ashley, better known as Charlotte. Lita has changed tops, likely for the sake of the censors, but the Edge tank top works perfectly well too. Oh and Flair has a concussion thanks to Edge, just in case there weren’t enough details coming into this.

Flair chops away in the corner to start but Edge decks him in the jaw to take over. It’s already time for the first ladder, which goes into Flair’s head but actually doesn’t draw blood. Edge puts him inside the ladder and crushes it with a chair, which somehow doesn’t kill Flair. They head outside with Edge being chopped into the crowd but Flair follows him out instead of, you know, going to win the title.

Back to ringside with Edge suplexing Flair on the floor. Lita starts getting the chairs ready as Edge puts Flair on a table. The Conchairto is broken up by a testicular claw and Edge is tossed into the barricade. Lita gets slammed down as well but Edge gets in a chair shot to finally bust Flair open. It almost makes me feel better to have it happen instead of waiting on it for so long.

Edge heads back in and hits a HUGE splash to put Flair through the table on the floor. There is blood everywhere and Flair’s family is panicking as we take a break. Back with Flair having a 1980s level of blood but still being able to put Edge inside a ladder for some chair shots. Flair cracks him with another chair shot and then just shoves a ladder onto him. A few shots to the ankle have Flair loading up the ladder but he moves it to the corner instead.

Flair goes up and of course gets superplexed back down for a double knockdown. Edge hits him low but misses a missile dropkick off the ladder. He’s fine enough to chair Flair in the head though and it’s time to climb. Somehow Ric is up and turns the ladder over, sending Edge through a table at ringside in a HUGE crash. Lita breaks up the climb though, which just makes me want to see Lita vs. Charlotte. That earns Lita a Figure Four as Edge is still down. Flair’s ultra slow climb lets Edge get up though and the slug it out on top of the ladder. Naturally Edge gets the better of it and retains the title.

Rating: C+. I never feel right watching Flair in something like this. The guy is nearly sixty and putting his body through something like this with all the blood and violence when he’s more than capable of having a good regular match. I get the idea behind it (if nothing else just saying “Flair in a TLC match” is a draw) but I wish they could come up with something better than this. It’s an entertaining match, but not something I’m comfortable watching.

Post match Edge spears him down and loads up the Conchairto, only to have Cena come in for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show is such a time capsule as you have Cena being the super face, the women being worthless in the ring yet oozing sex appeal in something that’s not around nearly as strong today (which isn’t a bad thing), throwing a TLC match and Shawn vs. Angle on free TV and acting like Carlito and Chris Masters could ever have any kind of main event value. The show was fun, but it really isn’t something I’d want to watch week to week. It feels like it would get very grating in short order, but for a one off it was rather fun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2003
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestling please. Last week’s show was about everything but wrestling and I’d like to see that change this time around. The McMahons were all over last week’s show, along with various things such as attempted murder and bragging about sexual assault. That’s not what I was expecting on a wrestling show so hopefully it’s not here this time around. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane’s path of rage, leading to Shane burning him alive (again) last week. There’s going to be a crazy amount of Shane tonight isn’t there?

Opening sequence.

JR let us know that Kane is NOT dead. Well that’s quite the start to the show.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Well at least they’re getting it out of the way early. Coach wears University of Texas gear to tick JR off even further. Lawler gets tired of Coach circling him and punches him in the jaw to start us off. A belly to back suplex gets King out of a suplex….and here’s Al Snow (Coach’s broadcast partner on Heat) to say stop this. Coach gets back inside anyway and is wristlocked into an armbar. Lawler lets go so Coach heads outside and tells Snow he can do this, only to get punched down again. As you might expect, it’s a ruse with Snow posting Lawler so Coach can drop an elbow for the pin.

Rating: F. This is what they used to start Monday Night Raw. Not as filler later on, but during the first ten minutes of the show. It’s not going to appeal to the mainstream wrestling fans because they would know Al Snow as a comedy guy and it’s not going to appeal to the hardcore fans because it’s Jonathan Coachman. What is the thought process here, and why wasn’t it “no one is going to care about this” before moving on?

Terri asks Shane McMahon about burning Kane last week while mentioning that Kane “disappeared” from the dumpster. Shane hopes he’s still burning. Whatever keeps this story off TV.

Coach and Snow are celebrating when Eric Bischoff joins them. Steve Austin comes in and isn’t happy before going into the arena, despite it being time for the Highlight Reel. The set is quickly tossed to the floor and Austin has a beer. Please don’t spill it on that sweet carpet. First, Austin would like JR to stand up. Austin has been hearing that JR is Stone Cold’s boy and he’s getting sick of it. At Unforgiven, it’s Coach vs. JR (seriously), along with Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton.

Austin talks about the main event of Goldberg vs. HHH with Goldberg’s career on the line. Therefore, the fans in Lafayette, Louisiana should get to see Goldberg in a six man tag when he teams up with Maven/Shawn Michaels vs. Evolution. Austin is ready to go but cue an angry Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho yells about the set being destroyed and how much it costs. Austin: “Yes I know because I wrote the check.” Jericho offers to forgive Austin if he’ll kiss Chris’ boots but it’s a middle finger instead. Now it’s Christian, who wants an apology for last week. Austin says no but does give Christian a match tonight. Jericho is ready for a tag match but Austin had something else in mind. This did what it needed to do but EGADS are they serious with this Coach vs. JR stuff? Like I said earlier: who in the world is this supposed to be appealing to?

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Christian is defending and the fans immediately call this boring. What else do you want here? Coach vs. King II? King rejoins commentary and the match ignoring can begin. Feeling out process to start with Jericho, in street clothes, having to skin the cat early on. Back in and some right hands in the corner don’t have much effect on Jericho so he grabs a rollup for two, much to Christian’s annoyance. Christian: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???” Jericho: “Trying to be the champion!” Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.

They slug it out with Jericho being knocked to the floor but sending Christian into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Jericho chokes with the wrist tape like a real Canadian villain. Christian gets two off the reverse DDT backbreaker and chokes as well. A reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two but Jericho kicks the referee into the ropes to crotch the champ on top. As usual though, that’s not a DQ because the rules change almost by the minute.

The Lionsault hits knees but the Unprettier is countered into a Walls attempt with Christian reversing into a small package. Back up and Jericho’s spinning crossbody (off a turnbuckle with the pad removed) takes the referee down by mistake. The belt is brought in and Jericho’s bad looking Flashback (with Christian falling out of his grip) getting two. Jericho rolls him up with the tights for two but Christian reverses into one of his own, grabbing the ropes to retain.

Rating: C+. This started slowly but got better as things went on and you saw what kind of dastardly things they were willing to do to win the match. It fits them perfectly to be winning to cheat their best friend to get ahead, making the ending that much better. The fans wanted to see Jericho win here but he’s still a solid heel.

Shane McMahon is in the back when Austin comes up to him and says it might be best if Shane leaves. Shane thinks he’ll stick around actually. Well you can’t get the TV time from anywhere else. Unless you’re Linda that is.

Video on Goldberg dominating the Elimination Chamber until HHH destroyed him. Again: remember who is really in charge around here.

HHH is sick of hearing about Goldberg and starts the chant by mistake. Goldberg isn’t a wrestler but rather a mass marketed version of what someone thought a wrestler should be (I wonder who he’s talking about…). HHH is the best there is and the best in the game so he’ll end Goldberg’s mystique at Unforgiven. Goldberg comes in to say he’ll hurt HHH….later tonight because he wants HHH to think about it. The levels of ineptness when it comes to Goldberg continue to amaze me.

Trish Stratus/Ivory vs. Gail Kim/Molly Holly

King: “JR do you think Trish has a VCR?” JR: “A video recorder?” King: “No. A very cute rear.” Oh good grief go fight Coach again. The villains jump Trish and Ivory to start with Gail chopping Ivory up against the ropes. The spunky Ivory fights out because spunky is pretty much her entire character. JR thinks jealously might be the reason Molly and Gail hate Trish while Lawler thinks it’s just because women hate each other.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and Ivory sunset flips Molly for two. Ivory gets choked against the ropes and Molly grabs an over the shoulder backbreaker of all things. That’s escaped in short order and the hot tag brings in Trish as everything breaks down. Gail breaks up the Stratusphere on Molly and a double powerbomb ends Trish.

Rating: D+. This story continues to go nowhere and adding Ivory isn’t going to help anything because she’s just there for the sake of being a warm body. So Gail and Molly are jealous of Trish and Trish goes and gets Ivory to help her? That’s how low the depth is on the women’s roster? This story is a black hole of charisma and it’s not showing any signs of getting better. That finish looked good though.

Post match Ivory takes a double DDT.

Shane goes to leave but runs into Vince McMahon, who is on both shows again. Vince has a right to be here and while he hasn’t been the best father, he’s concerned about Shane. That doesn’t fly with the son, who wants to deal with this in the ring. In other words we need to get another long talking segment between these two.

Shane comes to the arena to call out Vince but he gets Eric Bischoff instead. After Shane says he’s not exactly scared here, Eric makes a threat….but gets cut off by Kane, who sneaks in from behind. Shane is sent into and smashed with the steps before Kane cuffs him to the post. With Shane’s legs pinned down by the steps, Kane pours water over him and pulls out a battery with some jumper cables. He attaches the cables to Shane’s crotch and electrocutes him until Rob Van Dam runs out for the save with a chair. Rob frees Shane’s testicles and beats Kane up even more.

I remembered the electrocution going on longer but maybe it was just because the story was dumb. Again: they’ve wasted their big moment with Kane and having him face Shane on pay per view in a street fight or whatever isn’t going to make up for a lot of this stuff. Kane should be in the World Title hunt but we’re getting this instead.

Bischoff makes Kane vs. Van Dam in a cage next week.

Hurricane/Rosey vs. La Resistance

Non-title. Hurricane armdrags Dupree to start as JR thinks Kane was planning to torture Shane tonight. Good thing he had a plan ready that includes Shane bumping into Vince in the back and saying he wanted to deal with this in the ring. Grenier sends Hurricane into the corner and we hit the bearhug as JR and King talk strategy for JR vs. Coach.

Now the discussion shifts to Kane attacking Linda and JR saying he won’t be a swimsuit model. Geez people can you please at least pretend that this that this match matters? Rosey gets in a splash for two as everything breaks down. Hurricane’s high crossbody gets two but Rob Conway (JR: “The master of disguise!” He’s in jeans and a sleeveless shirt here.) comes in with a belt shot to give Grenier the pin.

Rating: D-. Commentary is getting really annoying here as it’s all about ANYTHING else as they can’t even focus on a four minute match. Are the fans really going to stop caring if we’re not talking about Kane every second of every day? If it mattered that much, they would be doing something bigger for him than the Shane feud. I mean, I know WWE thinks Shane is the greatest thing since Stephanie, but not everyone else goes with that line of thinking.

Post match Grenier wants tables but here are the Dudleys for the save as this feud keeps going.

Maven has been wanting to be in this position since he came to WWE (All that time huh?) but Evolution comes in to laugh at him.

Post break Shawn comes in to see Maven, who has earned this. I know they’re trying with Maven but come on already. Hurricane has earned this more than he has.

Teddy Long asks Steve Austin why Rodney Mack and Mark Henry didn’t get the Intercontinental Title shot tonight. Austin says they got bumped and that’s that. He keeps walking and bumps into Rob Van Dam. Rob is cool with the cage match next week but wants it to start the show. Austin grants the request, mainly because next week is the season premiere of Monday Night Football.

Stacy Keibler calls Test a jerk and she doesn’t trust him. Egads that’s harsh for the man treating you like a sex slave. Test brings up the Testicles bit and says people can love them again. Everything will be fine.

Steven Richards/Victoria vs. Test/Stacy Keibler

This is intergender, meaning men can face women. Test and Stacy come out to the Legs song. As they come to the ring, the match is announced as No DQ. Test punches Steven to start and brings Stacy in (Why would she accept the tag?) to kick him in the ribs. Victoria gets in a cheap shot though and shouts about Stacy being a Barbie.

It’s back to Steven for a few spanks but he loads up a pumphandle, drawing Test in for a clothesline. Stacy crawls over for the tag and Test drops to the floor (JR: “Did Test slip off the apron?”). He comes back in and holds her for a slap from Victoria, who hits Test by mistake. Steven beats Test up and clotheslines Stacy, drawing in Scott Steiner for the save. Test kicks Victoria in the face by mistake (aiming for Steiner), giving Stacy the pin.

Rating: F. The Rock N Roll Express and the Midnight Express think this feud has been going on too long. I know Steiner isn’t exactly in the best place in the world at this point but they didn’t have ANYTHING else for him to do? Like maybe sit at home while his contract ran out? Somehow this is probably leading to Test vs. Steiner again as they manage to make this story even more ridiculous.

Test drags Stacy away again and stops to sneer at Steiner. What emotion.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Goldberg/Maven

Goldberg’s entrance is shortened a bit this week as Shawn, in a hat, slugs away at Orton to start. Maven comes in for some armdrags as JR pushes him as the big young star. It’s already off to Flair for some right hands in the corner but Shawn comes back in for the big staredown. Well it’s the best combination they have for this match.

Shawn punches everyone down, including knocking the still injured HHH off the apron. The slingshot dive takes out all of Evolution (Which JR calls a split. Taking down everything is called a strike JR.) but Flair gets in a low blow to cut him off. HHH actually comes in for a low blow of his own as JR says the people HHH has defeated in World Title matches could fill a Hall of Fame. I’d be down for a Taka Michinoku induction. Shawn kicks Flair away but HHH is back in to stomp him down.

Evolution keeps taking turns on Michaels with JR playing cheerleader. HHH grabs the abdominal stretch but gets caught cheating, earning a break so Shawn can chop away. Another hot tag attempt is cut off and HHH stops to taunt Goldberg a bit. A big shot allows the tag to Goldberg and things pick up in a hurry. HHH cuts Goldberg off (well of course) and punches him down in the corner, followed by Orton getting in a shot of his own. Instead it’s a spear to Orton and some trash talk to HHH before the Jackhammer puts Orton away.

Rating: C-. Totally standard main event tag formula, even though the match was a glorified handicap match as Maven was a total non-factor after the opening thirty seconds. Goldberg vs. HHH still isn’t a great story as they’re setting up Goldberg as the challenger of the month but at least the fans are still into him. Odds are we’ll be getting Shawn vs. Orton as well, which should do some good things for Randy’s future.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, this is MILES better than last week’s show. There’s a bunch of bad stuff here but at least it felt like a wrestling show (electrocution segment aside). They’re setting stuff up for Unforgiven and while it’s still not a good show, at least they’re going somewhere and it’s not all about the announcers and McMahons. The fact that it’s still heavily about them doesn’t help, but I’ll take what I can get after the recently terrible shows.

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