IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 12, 2018
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re FINALLY away from all other pay per views and that means it’s time to get on with the real Wrestlemania build. Tonight is scheduled to featured Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar going face to face but that was the case two weeks ago as well. I can’t shake the feeling that WWE is going to manage to screw this one up. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here’s Kurt Angle to open things up. He’s looking forward to competing at Wrestlemania where he and his partner are going to give HHH and Stephanie McMahon the beatings of their life. That takes us to the Universal Title match…and Brock Lesnar isn’t here tonight because of something ranging from transportation issues to not feeling well to just not showing up.

Cue Roman Reigns to say what just happened was Brock didn’t show up for work today. For anyone else, there would be a fine, a suspension, or being fired, but that’s not happening to Vince’s boy. Reigns says if Angle didn’t show up, he’d be fired and not be able to feed his kids. Reigns passed Vince McMahon in the back and Vince didn’t have the courtesy to apologize. Roman isn’t going to have Vince disrespect him so he leaves the ring and goes to the gorilla position, where Vince and Shane are producing the show. Vince gets up and says they’ll talk in his office.

Reigns leaves Vince’s office and has nothing to say. Vince comes out a second later and says he had to tell Reigns to know his role and shut his mouth. Brock has certain privileges and may not like anyone but he respects competition. Vince says Brock will be at Wrestlemania and will defend his title but he also promises that Brock will be here next week. As for Reigns, he’s been temporarily suspended.

Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville

Bayley and the rest of Absolution are at ringside. Sasha gets two off an early sunset flip and sends Sonya outside as we take an early break. Back with Sasha getting kicked in the ribs and caught in a bodyscissors. Sasha fights up again and knees Sonya out of the corner. The middle rope knees get two and Bayley cutting off Absolution sets up the Bank Statement to make Sonya tap at 7:39.

Rating: D+. This felt like angle advancement instead of a match and that’s fine. You can see Banks vs. Bayley in a singles match at Wrestlemania (unless they go stupid and have some multi-woman match for the title instead) and Absolution can help get them there. Nothing to see here of course but that wasn’t the point of the match.

Bayley leaves and Absolution beats Sasha down with no one to stop them.

Kid Rock Hall of Fame announcement.

It’s time for MizTV. Miz talks about being forced to defend his title against two opponents at Wrestlemania and those challengers are his guests tonight: Seth Rollins and Finn Balor. Miz immediately tries to play them against each other, saying that Balor is getting in the way of what could have been a great singles match. Rollins knows what’s going on so Miz says Balor is the man in bingo halls. He was the first ever Universal Champion and beat Rollins to do it.

Miz tries the same thing he tried with Rollins but Balor sees through it as well. Rollins says they don’t need to get fired up because it’s Wrestlemania and the Intercontinental Title. They get back to the Universal Title match though and Balor says he beat Seth with one arm. They’re ready to fight now and Miz is all for this, only to be clotheslined to the floor. Rollins gets in a right hand to Balor though and Miz is very pleased. More angle advancement and that’s fine.

The Bar vs. Miztourage

Non-title. The Miztourage jumps the champs before the bell and there’s no match as the Revival comes in to jump the Bar as well. Anderson and Gallows run out as well and PLEASE tell me this isn’t setting up a freaking ladder match. Titus Worldwide and Heath Slater/Rhyno join in too. The Bar slips out and bails as there was no match of course.

Here’s John Cena to address his loss last night. Cena has found his path to Wrestlemania and some people might not like that. He’s tried as hard as he can but he’s lost every chance. The fans chant for Undertaker and Cena says he hopes the people backstage are listening. He won’t be contributing to Wrestlemania this year (I’m guessing he misspoke when he said he had found his path.).

That doesn’t mean that he’s quitting or walking away because he’ll be there on the same road to Wrestlemania as the fans. He’s going as a fan this year and he’ll be having a blast. Cena may be sitting next to us and goes into the crowd to steal a sip of beer. He starts a THIS IS AWESOME chant before switching to a LET’S GO ROMAN which doesn’t work so well.

Back in the ring, Cena says we need to get one chant out of our system: LET’S GO CENA! You know what comes from there and Cena says the only way that’s going to happen is if he does something he’s not supposed to do. Actually, what does he have to lose if he does it? Cena: “Well screw it. I challenge the Undertaker to a match at Wrestlemania.” He’s been told that’s impossible but he doesn’t quite get why.

Cena says the challenge a few more times and since his mic is still working, it’s clearly not WWE that doesn’t want it to happen. That leaves just Undertaker, who needs to, and I quote, get over his own ego. Undertaker is hiding behind his loss and needs to take his head out of the sand. He’s not too old and he’s not broken down. If he was, he wouldn’t be posting workout videos on his wife’s Instagram. Undertaker is hiding and needs to come try and Tombstone Cena in front of 75,000 people. If Cena was Undertaker, he’d want one more match.

So, to recap, this match is going to have, at most, three weeks of official build (assuming Undertaker doesn’t Tweet a response) because we needed Cena in a six way match at Fastlane. I don’t want to see this match and while it could have a good feeling to it, I would really just prefer that Undertaker goes away after last year’s great moment. The Cena vs. Undertaker match could have been awesome, but unless that hip surgery completely changed Undertaker, last year was a really bad sign.

The Bar is in Angle’s office saying they wanted competition, not to be jumped from behind. They don’t feel safe around here and since they’ve heard rumors of a Superstar Shakeup, they want to go to Smackdown right now. Maybe they could fight the Bludgeon Brothers, New Day or the Usos. Champions vs. champions sounds good to Sheamus. Angle won’t trade them but tonight we’ll find out who the challengers are in a tag team battle royal later tonight. That’s all well and good, as long as a ladder isn’t involved.

We recap last week’s Symphony of Destruction match with Elias having a piano dropped on top of him.

Here’s Elias in a neck brace but still ready to perform because he’s a professional. Elias says this is all our fault and walks away.

Braun Strowman says he dropped a piano on Elias last week. Elias should be grateful that he never made music on an anvil. Braun doesn’t have a Wrestlemania match so tonight he’s making his own path of destruction. I mean, Cena is available at the moment.

Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

They fight over the arm to start (there’s a bingo space) until Rollins takes over with an elbow and chop. A pair of dropkicks puts Rollins on the floor and there’s a running apron kick to take us to a break. Back with Rollins grabbing a chinlock until Balor fights up and hits a Sling Blade.

1916 and the ripcord knee are both blocked so they trade kicks to the head. They trade kicks to the head with Rollins’ getting two. Rollins charges into another kick to the head but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. Instead Rollins tries the superplex into the Falcon Arrow, only to have Balor cradle him in a small package for the pin at 14:14.

Rating: C+. Nice match here and I’m a bit surprised that Balor would get a clean pin over the other challenger. I’ll take that over a double countout or DQ though and it’s not like losing to a big name like Balor is the worst thing in the world. Also, at least the champion managed to not lose again.

Video on the Fabulous Moolah, including an announcement of the Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Asuka to address challenging Charlotte last night. After we see the clip, Alexa Bliss and Mickie James cut her off in short order. Alexa can outsmart anyone and she congratulates Asuka on choosing the champion of the B show. Asuka says she chose Charlotte because to be the woman, you have to beat the woman. Bliss thinks that must be a language issue so Asuka wants to beat Alexa right now. Alexa says no because Asuka is getting someone who has unfinished business with her. She tries to bring someone out (presumably Nia) but Mickie jumps Asuka instead.

Mickie James vs. Asuka

Joined in progress with Mickie in control until Asuka kicks her down without much effort. Mickie tries to bail and gets posted for her efforts but Asuka kicks the post by mistake. Asuka barely beats the count back in but the MickieDT is countered and Asuka kicks her in the head with the bad leg. The backfists to the head rock Mickie and there’s the hip attack in the corner. Mickie is smart enough to go back to the leg and there’s a flapjack for good measure. For some reason Mickie goes up top and scores with a heck of a sunset bomb for two. The Mick Kick misses though and the Asuka Lock is good for the submission at 6:31.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this match with Asuka being tested, even in a match that she had no real danger of losing. There’s something cool to see about having people actually work in a match that is little more than a warmup for Asuka. Good stuff here as Mickie really hasn’t lost a step.

Graves explains the Great War to Cole and Coachman and the confused looks are perfect.

Alexa comes in to see Nia and asks where she was. Kurt told her not to come out because she has a match next but that’s not enough for Alexa. Nia doesn’t seem happy with Alexa over what she said last week but Alexa gets all serious and says she loves Nia as her best friend. The love is returned but it’s time for some tough love: Nia needs to be in her corner next week. That’s cool with Nia so everything is fine.

Women’s History Month in Indira Gandhi.

Nia Jax vs. Joan King

Samoan drop in 46 seconds.

Alexa and Mickie are in the back and annoyed over the loss to Asuka. Mickie brings up what Alexa said to Nia last week and Alexa says it was the truth and could have been a lot worse. James thought it was hilarious when Alexa said everyone looks at Nia in the airport. Alexa: “It’s like Shrek going through the TSA.” They keep mocking Nia’s size and intelligence as Nia is near tears. Apparently Charly Caruso is late for an interview but she comes in and says the microphone has been on the entire time. Panic ensues and Nia is storming to the back. Alexa and Mickie leave in a rush and Nia is here a few seconds later to break a lot of stuff.

We get a preview of the Ultimate Deletion, which will take place at the Hardy Compound. The Great War has gone on throughout history and will come to its completion. We actually see Rebecca, Maxel, Wolfgang (Matt’s other son), Senor Benjamin and Vanguard 1. They will vanquish Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt into the Lake of Reincarnation. The lake could be amazing in WWE’s hands.

Bray says Matt is a liar and a fool but above all else, Matt is just a man. When the devil is standing on your doorstep, never let him in. Bray accepts the invitation and threatens Matt’s family.

Kurt knew Bray was nuts but wants to know what happened to Matt. A referee comes in and Kurt assigns him to Ultimate Deletion next week. Referee: “Did I do something wrong?”

We recap the opening sequence and Reigns’ suspension.

Next week: Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss and Ultimate Deletion.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Heath Slater/Rhyno, Titus Worldwide, Revival, Anderson and Gallows, Miztourage

The winners get the Wrestlemania title shot against the Bar, who are on commentary here. Hang on a second though as here’s Strowman with no partner. He demands that the bell ring and the referee isn’t about to say no. Apollo (with Cole saying Crews) is eliminated and, after a quick chase, Slater is tossed as well. Everyone stares Strowman down and the big beatdown is on but Revival gets smart by eliminating Rhyno.

Titus punches both of them but Strowman throws everyone away and is left alone after everyone went underneath the ropes. It’s Titus going back in to face off with Strowman on his own…and then changing his mind. Back with everyone going after Strowman and a kick to the face putting him through the ropes. A shot with the steps drops Strowman but he’s just in the timekeeper’s area. O’Neil kicks Anderson out of the air and Dawson takes the Clash of the Titus.

The Revival is eliminated and it’s hard to tell how many people are left. Strowman comes back in and gets rid of Titus and Gallows. A powerslam each takes out the Miztourage and we’re down to Strowman and Anderson. A dropkick to Strowman’s knee slows him down and some low superkicks keep him in trouble. The third kick is shoved away though and, with a shout of I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA, Strowman tosses him out to win at 11:02.

Rating: D. It’s a cool idea but this was way too confusing with people being sent outside over and over to the point where I was having trouble remembering who was in the match at times. Strowman needed something to do though and this is about as good of an idea as they had. Him winning a handicap match could be fun, though it’s quite the downgrade after what he’s been doing in recent months.

The announcers aren’t sure if this is legal to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show did what it needed to do as far as setting up more stuff for Wrestlemania, but there are some questionable choices here. The Undertaker vs. Cena match is going to divide fans no matter how it goes. I don’t want to see it, but I easily get why people do want it to happen. Strowman in the Tag Team Title match…..it’s something for him to do, but not exactly worthy of his year. The Nia/Bliss stuff was very good and the rest of the stories were advanced well. It feels like we’re rushing through everything though and that’s going to cause a problem with so little TV time left.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Sonya Deville – Bank Statement

Finn Balor b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Asuka b. Mickie James – Asuka Lock

Nia Jax b. Joan King – Samoan drop

Braun Strowman won a tag team battle royal last eliminating Karl Anderson

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 6, 2003
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s show, the big story is HHH playing Harley Race to Goldberg’s Ric Flair by putting out a $100,000 bounty on anyone who can take Goldberg out. That opens a lot of doors for the company and WWE has decided to go through the Mark Henry door. To be fair though….actually there’s not much of a positive way to go with this. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH issuing the bounty. I know it’s an old story but it works perfectly well for what they needed it to be.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Rosey

Fallout from last week. Rosey wastes no time in knocking Kane down and hitting a splash for an early two. That’s about it for Rosey’s offense though as Kane pops back up and hits Rosey in the face. Choking in the corner keeps him in trouble and something like a spinebuster plants Rosey again. Rosey is right back up with a corner splash and a DDT but a legdrop wakes Kane up for some reason. A roll underneath a clothesline gives Rosey an opening but he walks right into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. Rosey was trying here but Kane has already fallen all the way down to fighting comedy acts. I mean, Shane isn’t going to be taken seriously a lot of the time but he’s a step above these two at the moment. Also, if you need teams as badly as this “division” does, I see very little value in building them up and then having Kane decimate both members in short order.

Post match Hurricane comes out but gets beaten down as well. Cue the returning Shane to come in through the crowd for some cheap shots before bailing.

Post break, Kane is looking for Shane in the production trucks. After scaring some production workers, it’s back to the parking lot where Shane is just standing there. Shane dives into a limo and Kane can’t get in so he blasts the back window with a pipe. For some reason he THROWS THE PIPE DOWN THROUGH THE SUN ROOF and goes in after it, only to have Shane slip out. With Kane in the back, Shane rigs up the limo to drive forward on its own, sending it crashing into a big truck for a massive crash. JR and King go into serious mode and we cut to an abrupt commercial.

Back with medics trying to get the very bloody Kane out of the limo. It’s so tragic (and spontaneous) that we have about five different camera angles of the crash. The jaws of life are brought in as Steve Austin shows up to see if Kane is alive. Austin: “Is he still alive?” Steve never was that subtle.

Gail Kim vs. Lita

Molly Holly sits in on commentary because you can switch from segment to segment that quickly. At least she sounds shaken up. The place just goes nuts for Lita again, which is becoming the norm in a hurry. Lita gets in some right hands in the corner and thankfully Lawler isn’t being his usual self in a women’s match. A suplex looks to set up a Vader Bomb (which is WAY off target) but Gail gets her knees up.

We hit the chinlock as Gail continues to show off that great offense. She tries a neck crank, which means putting one hand on top of Lita’s tilted head and resting the other on her shoulder. You can’t even grab her chin??? A dragon sleeper looks better and a basement dropkick drops Lita again. Gail points to her head because she’s smart enough to hit a dropkick you see. Lita gets in a Russian legsweep for a breather and a spinning belly to back suplex (the Lita Bomb according to JR) is good for two.

Back up and Gail jumps from the middle rope onto Lita’s back in what I think was supposed to be a bulldog but wound up being more like a Thesz press from behind. Not that it matters as Gail rolls too far and gets cradled for two, making that move such a mess that I had to watch it twice to see what happened. Thankfully Lita finishes with the DDT a few seconds later.

Rating: F+. What the heck was that? This was just a few steps ahead of last year’s Jackie Gayda match with Gail managing to mess up things as simple as a neck crank (grab head with both hands and tilt). It’s kind of amazing that they had such solid tag matches in the last few weeks but had this bad of a singles match. I knew Molly was good but I didn’t realize she and Trish were holding things together that well.

Eric Bischoff tries to get to Kane but firemen hold him back.

HHH has a bunch of $100 bills laid out in a path to the briefcase full of cash. The question of the day is who will take Goldberg out. That kind of money could change someone’s life and buy a lot of things. It might even buy someone into Evolution. It could be Goldberg’s best friend, so the question is who’s next, because everybody’s got a price. Goldberg has friends?

Shawn Michaels wants Mark Henry tonight but Austin says no.

Scott Steiner comes out for his match with a defeated Stacy Keibler at his side. All Steiner cares about are his freaks and his peaks but sometimes the freaks mess up. Steiner recaps the Unforgiven loss and wants an apology with Stacy on her knees. This brings out Bischoff who says he’s glad to see the Big Poppa Pump that he’s known for years. As a thank you, Bischoff has hand picked Steiner’s opponent. JR: “Maybe Steiner is going to get what he deserves!” JR, if you’re going to be stupid, just be quiet.

Scott Steiner vs. Spike Dudley

Joined in progress with Steiner pressing him to the floor….and let’s cut to the bloody Kane being removed from the limo. Back in the arena, Steiner is suplexing Spike like he’s…well like he’s Spike Dudley actually. JR gets annoyed at Lawler for asking how he can call this match as Spike comes back with a running headbutt to the ribs. The Dudley Dog is countered with a suplex and the push-up elbow sets up the Downward Spiral for the pin. Not enough shown to rate due to the Kane thing but it was Spike Dudley vs. Scott Steiner. I think you can figure it out pretty easily.

Post match Steiner gives him a super Angle Slam but the Dudleys run in for the save. Test comes out and pulls Steiner away from a 3D.

Goldberg beats up La Resistance for trying to collect the bounty. I love how their method was just beating him up instead of, you know, hitting him with a pipe or something.

Back at the limo, Bischoff asks a witness what he saw. THE WHOLE THING WAS SHOWN ON TV! Anyway Bischoff blames it on Austin, including if Kane dies tonight.

Here’s Chris Jericho, flanked by Coach, Lance Storm and Christian, for a chat. Jericho isn’t surprised by what happened to Kane because Austin is causing all of this. It was Austin who told Kane to unleash his inner monster and that’s messed up the entire show. We’re in Connecticut tonight and Jericho wants to appeal to the board of directors: Austin needs to be relieved of all of his power here on Raw.

Jericho even has testimonials from people whose careers have been ruined by Austin, starting with Coach. Everyone knows Coach and Al Snow won fair and square at Unforgiven but Austin wouldn’t have that. Instead Austin gave his boy JR a rematch so the teams changed again. Now Coach is backstage doing interviews again despite being the best looking option.

Next up is Christian, who retained the Intercontinental Title both at Unforgiven and then the next night on Raw. Then Austin called him a CLB and made him defend the title in a ladder match! We see some highlights from the match with Rob Van Dam winning the title and it’s all Austin’s fault.

That leaves us with Storm, who Jericho says has been deemed boring. Now he’s reduced to coming to the ring to watered down techno music and doing a bad dance. Storm says Jericho is completely wrong though, because Storm is having fun, meaning we get a little dance. He thinks Austin is doing a great job as GM while Jericho is doing a great job of being a jack***.

The beatdown is on but Austin comes out….and doesn’t change much as Jericho is smart enough to realize Austin can’t do anything. Van Dam comes out for the real save and Austin complains about not being able to fight. The tag match is made for right now. This was all it needed to be and I could go with Storm getting a bigger push as a result.

Lance Storm/Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

The villains take their time getting in so we’re joined in progress with Rob in trouble. That’s broken up with a kick to the chest and it’s off to Storm….as the fans go silent. An enziguri takes Jericho down but he’s up fast enough to break up the Maple Leaf. Everything breaks down and Rob dives onto Jericho for a double knockdown. Storm hits a better looking dive and throws Christian back inside, only to get beaten down.

Jericho knocks him off the top and drops Storm face first onto the exposed barricade. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Christian throws Lance into the corner for a good stomping. The Walls are reversed so Jericho settles for a dropkick instead. Storm knocks Jericho back though and rolls over for the tag to Van Dam as things speed up again.

The middle rope kick to the face and a hot shot have Jericho in trouble. A split legged moonsaut gives Rob two and Christian is dropped onto Jericho for the, ahem, suggestive landing. Rolling Thunder onto both gets two and Rob scores with the Five Star on the illegal Christian. Jericho is back in with the Lionsault for two and grabs the Walls but Storm tags himself in. A missile dropkick finishes Jericho to give Storm the big pin.

Rating: B. Take four talented guy, let them have some time, and get a good match. On top of that, Storm gets a rub by pinning Jericho clean. That’s the kind of thing they need to do: elevate some people and see what they can do. If Storm can get a following or some charisma, he could be quite a solid midcard player.

Another recap of the car crash.

Teddy Long says Mark Henry destroying Shawn Michaels last week will go down in wrestling history. Long needs to stick to thuggin n buggin because history isn’t his strong suit. Henry is going to claim the bounty and then win the World Heavyweight Title.

Randy Orton/Ric Flair vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Yes they’re still trying to make this team work. Orton works on Cade’s arm to start with JR saying these are two of the best young stars in WWE. An uppercut puts Cade down and a clothesline does the same to Jindrak. The announcers discuss books as Jindrak backdrops Flair to silence.

It’s back to Cade as this crowd is almost eerily silent. Flair takes over again as I’m wondering why WWE thinks Cade/Jindrak getting squashed is a good idea. Cade’s right hands don’t work and something like a bulldog to Orton is greeted by the same silence. Jindrak does the top rope spinning clothesline and a spinebuster/dropkick combination drops Flair. Not that it matters as Orton RKO’s Jindrak to give Flair the pin.

Rating: F. I don’t often notice the crowd reactions but EGADS this was bad. Not that the wrestling itself was the worst but there was no fire, no heat and no interest from anyone. Hopefully this ends the sticking of the toe into the Jindrak and Cade water because it’s completely not working.

During the break, Flair and Orton were celebrating when they ran into Maven and Trish Stratus. Maven doesn’t think much of the win and asks about a rematch with Cade and Jindrak (SOMEONE SHUT THAT MAN UP!). Flair tells Maven to shut up and a match is made for next week. Ric: “I’ve had more World Championships than you’ve had women.” I take it that’s a yes.

Steven Richards/Victoria vs. Maven/Trish Stratus

Fallout from Victoria joining forces with Molly and Victoria because there isn’t another worthy woman to team with Trish against Molly and Victoria here. Richards chops Maven in the corner but walks into an atomic drop. Maven’s good looking dropkick doesn’t get much of a reaction but a tag to Trish gets….well it’s not much but at least it’s something. The Thesz press (with Victoria sliding underneath Trish, who landed off to the side) has Victoria in trouble and a Matrish into a hurricanrana puts her down again.

Richards breaks up the Stratusphere though and Victoria hits a slingshot double legdrop to the chest. It’s off to a bearhug and Lawler is back to his normal self about the visuals. Trish shoves her away and brings in Maven for the clotheslines. Everything breaks down and Victoria gets kicked to the floor. A Chick Kick to Richards sets up Maven’s spinning faceplant for the pin.

Rating: D. Still not good but at least Maven and Trish had some good looking stuff. This was another bad tag match though and that’s not what this show needed in front of a dead crowd. The young guys are terrible right now and someone like Maven, who was supposed to be a bigger deal off of Tough Enough, isn’t doing anyone any favors.

Post match Victoria sends Trish into the steps.

Mark Henry vs. Goldberg

Non-title and Rodney Mack is sent to the back. Goldberg charges into the ring in a rare visual and Henry pounds him down to start. Some corner splashes crush Goldberg again and there’s a gorilla press drop. Three straight clotheslines don’t do much damage to Henry, who comes back with a Rock Bottom of all things for two. Another splash hurts Goldberg’s ribs and a shoulder breaker switches things up to the arm. Goldberg gets in an armbreaker to slow Henry down a bit but a Boss Man Slam cuts Goldberg down again. A slam looks to set up the spear but here’s Mack with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Somehow that’s the second best of the final three matches. This was Goldberg being destroyed for a few minutes and then not even getting to pin Henry. Let me repeat that: Goldberg, who won the World Title less than a month ago, isn’t getting to pin Mark Henry. I have no idea how this is supposed to make sense other than setting up another match later on, because GOLDBERG isn’t allowed to get a clean win here. If they wanted to further kill the crowd, they somehow managed to pull it off.

Post match Shawn runs in to superkick Mack, only to have Goldberg miss Henry and spear Shawn by mistake. Goldberg gives Henry the Jackhammer to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Somehow this show wound up being about Shane McMahon’s attempted murder of Kane and HHH, who wasn’t actually on the show. Other than that it was a bunch of terrible matches (save for that one rather good tag match), even more recaps/updates on Kane nearly dying and blaming Austin for everything. This show left me deflated, and that’s not a good sign when we have over a month before the next time these guys are on pay per view. Absolutely terrible here with the main focuses being Shane and Goldberg keeping the title warm for HHH. Figure out what the fans want, because this isn’t it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2018
Location: BMO Harris Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

With five episodes to go before Wrestlemania, this show needs to start getting ready for Wrestlemania. At the moment, there is one match confirmed for the biggest show of the year and we’re 34 days out. I know there’s Fastlane to get through first but Raw doesn’t have another pay per view between now and New Orleans. Get something set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. Kurt is serious this week because he got sucker punched last week. HHH hit him right in the jaw and while Kurt has swallowed his pride before, he’s calling HHH out right now. The jacket comes off and here’s a swaggering Stephanie (the obvious response) instead. Stephanie asks about Angle’s five kids and ex-wife, meaning he likely has an alimony payment. She advises Kurt to stick with what he does for a living and here’s Ronda Rousey to interrupt.

Rousey talks about the people who brought her here not being what they said they were but she’s dealt with that before. Stephanie laughs this off and says people don’t often understand their bosses’ decisions. What Rousey needs to remember is that she signed a contract with WWE and that puts her under Stephanie. Ronda remembers something about that contract: she’s allowed to pick her opponent. That opponent would be Stephanie, so here’s HHH to keep his wife from a bad case of death.

Angle brings up that Stephanie also has a wrestler’s contract (Why?) so the match is on. She’s not the only one with a wrestler’s contract because HHH has one too. That’s why the mixed tag match is on for Wrestlemania. HHH leaves so Stephanie loads up the slap on Angle, only to have Rousey grab the arm. HHH comes back in for the save and the fight is on with Stephanie knocking Rousey down from behind. The stare sends her bailing as HHH is put in the ankle lock. Stephanie comes back for the save but gets pulled back into the ring for a not great Samoan drop from Rousey.

Asuka vs. Nia Jax

Asuka is thrown outside to start and we go split screen to hear Alexa Bliss say Nia is winning tonight. Back to full screen with Asuka being planted off a backbreaker. An Octopus hold slows Nia down but she throws Asuka into the corner without much effort. A reverse Eye of the Storm drops Asuka and we take a break.

Back with Asuka reeling but scoring with a Shining Wizard for two. The Samoan drop plants Asuka but she avoids the legdrop. Instead it’s off to the cross armbreaker which transitions into a triangle choke. Nia can’t powerbomb her way out, even when she drives Asuka into the corner. Asuka switches back into the armbreaker and Nia taps at 11:05.

Rating: C. WE GET IT ALREADY! My goodness this is the exact same thing that Nia has done in EVERY BIG MATCH and it’s not interesting anymore. I never bought that Asuka was in any real danger because there’s no way anything else was happening here. Nia is rapidly becoming the one who gets to look dominant but never wins anything, which is going to catch up to her very soon.

Nia gets the big hero’s reaction post match as she stands up and walks out, holding the damaged arm.

Revival vs. The Bar

Non-title but the Revival gets a title shot if they win. Dawson gets taken into the wrong corner to start and the Bar takes turns pounding him down. A double gordbuster (oh the Anderson vibes are strong with this one) puts Sheamus on the floor and we take a break. Back with Revival kicking Sheamus’ legs out as everything breaks down. A PowerPlex of all things gets two on Cesaro but Sheamus makes the save. Wilder is sent outside and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. We’re either getting War Machine (not happening) or the multi team ladder match. I’m not sure why we would want to see this, but that’s what we seem to be getting. There’s no one to challenge the Bar at the moment so unless they’re mixing the brands up, I have no idea which single team we could be getting.

Here’s John Cena to talk about getting a title match at Fastlane. He’s a free agent so he can be on both shows. So why is he here if he has a title match at a Smackdown pay per view? He’s here because he knows none of the other people in the match will let him have a chance to speak. This Sunday, the record is being broken when Cena wins his seventeenth World Title.

People always talk about how Cena holds people back and is handed everything, but he earned this chance when he beat AJ Styles 1-2-3. When he wins on Sunday, the critics will be there to say he’s robbed AJ of a Wrestlemania moment. Cena is encouraging AJ to make a better Wrestlemania moment and cash in his rematch to make it a triple threat with Cena, Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura.

This brings out, I kid you not, Goldust of all people, quoting the I’m a bum speech from On the Waterfront. Goldust has a dream of going to Wrestlemania too and that starts with preventing Cena from getting there. His dreams are always taken away and tonight, he’s taking over this silver screen as Cena’s new director. One right hand puts Cena down and we go to a break.

Goldust vs. John Cena

Joined in progress for a first time ever match actually. Goldust kicks him in the face and snaps off the powerslam to keep Cena in trouble. A knee drop allows Goldust to pose but he takes too long, allowing Cena to grab a standing chinlock. Goldust hits him low for two but Cena pops up, initiates the finishing sequence, and finishes with the AA at 3:47.

Rating: D. Uh, sure? I have no idea what the point of this was supposed to be but they went with it anyway. This was the most random match I’ve seen in a long time and I’m really not sure what they were going for. The match wasn’t terrible or anything but it really feels like they’re just making this up as they go instead of having any form of a plan.

Elias tries to get out of the Symphony of Destruction match with Braun Strowman tonight but Angle says no.

Hillbilly Jim Hall of Fame video. I couldn’t be happier.

Here’s Bayley for a chat before her match. She got serious last week and Sasha Banks wasn’t happy with it….so here’s Absolution to interrupt. Paige makes fun of Bayley for finally growing up and we’re ready to go.

Mandy Rose vs. Bayley

Rose takes her down to start and trash talking in the corner ensues. Bayley gets driven hard into the corner and a slam gets two. Back up and Mandy bails for a bit as we take a break. We come back with Bayley fighting up and kicking Mandy away from the ropes. The Stunner over the middle rope drops Mandy again but Sonya Deville gets on the apron. The distraction completely fails though as Bayley grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. This was there to set up something post match and that’s all well and good. I mean, it’s no Goldust vs. John Cena but I’ll take what I can get. Bayley overcoming the odds to win over a lower level opponent makes sense and continues the build to her match with Sasha at Wrestlemania. Good story advancement, not a great match.

Post match Absolution beats Bayley down until Sasha makes the save. Bayley doesn’t buy it.

Women’s History Month video on Eunice Kennedy Shriver, creator of the Special Olympics.

Alexa and Mickie James come in to see Nia, who is icing down the arm. Bliss talks about how Nia might not make it to Wrestlemania this year but she’ll be there one day. She goes on about how Nia was bullied for her size when she was a kid and it continues to this day. Nia breaks down in tears as Bliss tells her to keep fighting before everyone loses all respect for her. This was really good and Nia destroying Bliss for talking down to her should be great.

Ronda Rousey was inducted into the International Sports Hall of Fame over the weekend.

We look at the opening segment again.

Braun Strowman is ready to GIVE THESE HANDS to Elias.

Here’s Elias at a piano before the Symphony of Destruction match. Elias loves symphonies because they’re cultured, unlike this hick town. He goes over to the drums for a little number before picking up the guitar for the weekly song. After saying Milwaukee sucks, Elias, says he can’t stand a single one of the fans. Now it’s time for the regular entrance….and there’s no Elias. Instead he’s bailing through the crowd and into the back to a waiting car. The car doesn’t go anywhere though because Strowman is LIFTING IT OFF THE GROUND. Ok so it’s a good editing trick but still a cool visual.

Elias vs. Braun Strowman

Anything goes and falls count anywhere with musical instruments on the stage. Elias gets out of the powerslam and breaks a guitar over Strowman’s back to limited effect. A top rope elbow gets one and Strowman throws him to the floor. They head to the announcers’ table and Elias escapes another powerslam, only to get shoved into the video wall. The big string bass crushes Elias again and Strowman throws him underneath a piano. After banging on the keys a bit, Braun drops the piano on him and gets the pin at 5:04.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot more fun but what we got was good enough. I’m not sure where it leads though as this was as one sided as you could have gotten. I can’t imagine we get a Wrestlemania match as a result as there’s no point in having another match after this kind of destruction. That never stopped WWE though so you can probably pencil it in.

Elias does a stretcher job.

Announcement of the Saudi Arabia Royal Rumble next month. Put it on the Network perhaps?

Bray Wyatt vs. Rhyno

Bray runs him over with a clothesline and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 47 seconds.

Post match Bray calls out Matt Hardy, who appears on screen with music playing behind him. He talks about a battlefield that is worthy of their combat, meaning the Hardy Compound. The video goes to said compound, complete with Vanguard One and Skarsgard, the dilapidated boat. Laughter ensues.

It’s time for the third annual Mizzies, with Miz talking about how awesome his awards are. The Darkest Hour was when the Shape of Water won Best Picture over Marine 5. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri should be three billboards outside New Orleans, featuring his face. Out first award is for the Superstar Best at Patting Themselves on the back. The nominees:

Seth Rollins for bragging about lasting 65 minutes in a match he lost

Kurt Angle for FINALLY being a good father to Jason Jordan

Finn Balor for winning the Universal Title and holding it less than 24 hours

The winners: Rollins and Balor, neither of whom were invited tonight!

Next up: Worst Decision By a Raw General Manager! The nominees:

Kurt Angle for bringing his son to Raw

Kurt Angle for letting Balor and Rollins into the Elimination Chamber

Kurt Angle for failing to name Miz’s Wrestlemania opponent

Angle wins (no specific incident mentioned) but can’t accept because he’s too busy sucking up to Ronda Rousey. Miz is about to announce the lifetime achievement Mizzie but here’s Rollins to interrupt. Balor cuts him off pretty quickly but Miz says he isn’t sure which of them is a bigger disappointment. This isn’t Japan where Balor can get over on a smile and a hand gesture that isn’t his. Last week was a glorified handicap match so let’s have a real handicap match right now with Miz/Miztourage vs. the two of them. The match is on.

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Balor works on Curtis Axel’s arm to start and it’s off to Rollins for an ax handle to said arm. A shot from the apron allows Axel to take over, followed by Bo Dallas dropping a knee. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Rollins dives over for the tag to Balor. A Miz distraction breaks up 1916 and Dallas runs Balor over as we take a break.

Back with Rollins hitting the Falcon Arrow for two on Miz and the low superkick gets the same. Rollins nails a suicide dive on the Miztourage but Balor tags himself in, much to Seth’s annoyance. Finn hits a flip dive of his own but Rollins tags himself in as Finn loads up the Coup de Grace. Instead it’s the Curb Stomp to pin Miz at 11:02.

Rating: C-. I’m fine with this, though they would have been better off to have one of the Miztourage members taking the pin here instead of Miz himself. I know it’s there to set up the triple threat match and that’s all well and good, but do something other than having Miz lose AGAIN, when you have goons there to do it for him.

Post match Angle comes out and announces Miz defending against Rollins and Balor at Wrestlemania.

Fastlane rundown.

Here’s Paul Heyman to respond to Roman Reigns’ comments last week. Heyman lays the title down, saying he’s allowed to do it because Brock Lesnar allows him to. Roman came out here last week and criticized Lesnar’s schedule. The biggest win of Reigns’ career is defeating the Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania. Brock Lesnar did that too and Lesnar is Brock Lesnar 365 days a year.

After Wrestlemania, Brock may let Heyman come out here and lay the title down again. Then maybe he’ll lay the UFC Heavyweight Championship next to it. At Wrestlemania, Reigns is coming for the title but that’s just not happening. Heyman: “And Afa Wrestlemania, you can Sika new title to challenge for, because this one is going home with Brock Lesnar.” Heyman goes to leave but stops to hold up the title. Last week Reigns said Lesnar was a b****. The reality is the title is Lesnar’s b****.

Brock does what he wants with it and looks at it whenever he wants but Reigns has been looking at it. The title, which isn’t a belt or a strap but proof that Lesnar is the best in the universe, is going to have to be pried out of Lesnar’s hot, active fingers. Reigns wants to be champion because it’s his bloodline, but the title is what matters most to Lesnar. If Reigns wants to be the Universal Champion, he can’t go home if he finds out something happened to his father, because someone has to be there to defend and present this title the night after Wrestlemania.

Reigns isn’t the man to take the title from Lesnar and there’s no way around it. Now Reigns knows that he shouldn’t shoot from the hip with Heyman and he shouldn’t shoot in the ring with Lesnar. Heyman goes to leave again but now it’s Reigns coming out to interrupt. Reigns says this is proof that what he said is right: all he did is sent Heyman for his rebuttal. All the fans want is for their champion to show up and want to be here. Brock is going to be in Detroit next week so he better be dressed for a fight. Heyman gets out as fast as he can to end the show.

It’s a good promo from Heyman, albeit a little long. The problem though is all the cheering for Reigns comes to a crashing halt as soon as Brock shows up. If it doesn’t happen on Raw, it’s going to happen at Wrestlemania. It’s a story we’ve tried before and I have no idea why we’re stuck doing it all over again. At least it should be over soon though and the promos have been solid so far.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the strongest here but it did what it needed to do: setting up things for Wrestlemania. We came in with one match confirmed and left with three of them, which is a pretty good amount when you consider two of them are top matches. They can continue doing this for a few more weeks and that’s what matters most. Get some more matches set and the show will come together.

As for the stuff on this show….eh. I don’t get having Nia out there to lose to Asuka again and I really don’t get a few of the other matches. What in the world was the point of having Goldust losing to Cena out there? The wrestling was a mess but the storytelling worked, which brings the show up to a higher level. At least this felt like a Wrestlemania buildup show though, which is the first time that’s been the case.

Results

Asuka b. Nia Jax – Cross armbreaker

The Bar b. Revival – Neutralizer to Dawson

John Cena b. Goldust – Attitude Adjustment

Bayley b. Mandy Rose – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Strowman dropped a piano on Elias

Bray Wyatt b. Rhyno – Sister Abigail

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Miz/Miztourage – Curb Stomp to Miz

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 9,755
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I started running through the 1999 Monday Night Raw shows and got near the end of May….before stopping for about three and a half years. That’s enough time to recharge my batteries so we’ll get back to it here. Undertaker won the WWF World Title eight days ago and everything is about the Corporate Ministry right now. Let’s get to it.

In case you don’t remember that far back, here’s last week’s show (this is a special one)

I’ve already done next week’s show (this is a big one)

We open with a recap of Shane McMahon screwing Steve Austin out of the WWF Title at Over the Edge. That Smoking Skull belt is still cool but doesn’t look right in anyone else’s hands.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Corporate Ministry and Undertaker has promised that we’ll be meeting the Higher Power tonight. Druids are carrying out Undertaker’s symbol and I forgot how much I don’t like this aspect of the story. Undertaker sends the druids to the floor, leaving only the ten members in the ring. Shane brags about using his right hand to take the title from Austin, even demonstrating his much slower count.

Undertaker talks in a very un-Undertaker like fashion, saying there’s nothing Austin can do about Undertaker being champion. For a bigger deal though, Undertaker has been promising “him” Austin’s mind, body and soul. Tonight the Higher/Greater (it’s used interchangeably) Power will be here and Austin will look into his eyes.

Cue Vince to say he’s going to screw Undertaker tonight. That’s because tonight, Undertaker is defending the title against Steve Austin. Shane says not so fast, because the match can take place but it’s non-title. Vince isn’t done though because he’s going to face Undertaker as well after everything Undertaker has done. Shane is cool with that too and if Vince can win, the match against Austin is for the title. If anyone interferes, Austin NEVER gets another title shot. The Ministry goes to leave but Austin is a druid, triggering a brawl with the Union (Mankind, Test, Ken Shamrock and Big Show) coming in to help.

Post break, Austin yells at the Union for some reason.

Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn gets TOSSED into the corner for a cool visual to start. A running dropkick to the knee cuts Show down as Gunn shows some rare intelligence. Show is back with a boot to the face though and Gunn walks out before the chokeslam.

Road Dogg jumps Gunn in the aisle and the fight is on with Gunn being sent back inside for the chokeslam.

And now, Beaver Cleavage, the incest character that Russo probably thought was a combination of brilliant and hilarious.

Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco can’t talk Vince out of fighting Undertaker.

Christian vs. Beaver Cleavage

This is Beaver’s debut and OF COURSE his real first name is Harry. Naturally he comes out in black and white with the video quality going down to resemble a 1950s sitcom. Beaver gets two off a powerslam but Christian gets the same off a facebuster. Some right hands in the corner don’t get Christian far as Beaver drops him face first onto the turnbuckle.

Beaver gets in a good looking springboard clothesline to the floor, which is a positive but doesn’t erase the fact that his name is Harry Beaver Cleavage. Back in and Christian grabs a belly to back suplex, followed by the reverse layout DDT. Cue Michael Hayes and the Hardys with a cane shot to Christian’s head. Beaver’s reverse suplex is good for the pin.

Rating: F. His name is Harry Beaver Cleavage. If that doesn’t explain the rating to you, I don’t know what else to say. What’s so annoying is the guy wasn’t a bad athlete (he was good as Mosh) but the name and gimmick is nothing more than a way to make Russo laugh and that doesn’t make for anything more than a comedy character. Besides, it’s not funny.

Christian goes after the Hardys and Hayes but Edge and Gangrel make the save.

Undertaker says no one is standing in his way tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. The Godfather

Godfather is defending in this battle of Hall of Famers. After Godfather does his thing, he mentions that Debra should belong to him (he won her in a match but Jarrett said no). When he wins tonight, Debra rides the Ho Train and everyone sees the puppies. JR: “Of course Jerry Lawler will be supporting the Intercontinental Champion.” Lawler: “LET’S GO GODFATHER!”

Godfather charges into an early knee and a middle rope clothesline keeps him in trouble. A high crossbody gives Jeff two as Lawler wants to open a puppy resort. Godfather is right back up with the Ho Train and a big boot but Debra offers a distraction. The jacket is opened up but one of the Ho’s takes hers off too. The distraction lets Jarrett hit Godfather with Debra’s Women’s Title to get the belt back.

Rating: D. This would be the third match centered around some for of anatomy and that’s getting to be a little hard to take. I can get why this was entertaining when I was eleven, but my goodness it’s getting to be a little hard to take this time around. Jarrett winning the title back is a good idea as Godfather is hardly a long term champion. The fact that this is the fifth title change of the year so far isn’t a good sign though.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Non-title, though the thought of Vince winning the title is laughable at best. Especially in 1999. Vince doesn’t have any music here, which is a really weird visual. Undertaker wastes no time in slugging away but Paul Bearer accidentally offers a distraction, allowing Vince to get in a low blow. More pummeling of the boss ensues….and Undertaker shoves the referee for a fast DQ.

Austin says he doesn’t need any help.

Here’s Mankind for a chat. It’s time for the Union to get some payback so he wants HHH out here right now. He’d like that match to be hardcore but there’s one more thing that needs to be covered. Mankind has heard about Chyna checking him out in the back. Maybe it’s because of his charm or maybe it’s because of that time she walked in on him in the shower when he was picking up the soap. It was clear that she wanted to touch him in an impure way. Tonight, he’s going to give her a chance to see the merchandise, if you smell where his sock is hiding.

During the break, Big Boss Man jumped Mankind and they’re still fighting when we get back. As luck would have it, Boss Man has a match.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Dogg hits him in the head with the microphone but walks into a side slam for two anyway. The Shake Rattle and Roll into the shaky knee drop gives Dogg two but a spinebuster takes him down again. They fight over the nightstick until Boss Man hits him in the head for the DQ. This might as well have been a brawl instead of a match.

Post match the referee takes the nightstick away so Boss Man whips out a chain to choke Dogg.

Shane throws a fit in the back, which presumably has been going on for about ten minutes now.

Tag Team Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes

X-Pac and Kane are defending. Faarooq misses a charge in the corner to start and X-Pac snaps off the kicks to put him down. That means a double tag with Kane sending Bradshaw into the corner without wasting much time. The big clothesline puts Kane on the floor but he’s right back in with the top rope clothesline. I would say that’ll teach Bradshaw but he seems a bit hard headed at times.

Kane tags X-Pac in to Jerry’s shock, because Russo likes to book teams that hate each other. Cue Shane to cheer the Acolytes on as X-Pac’s spinning kick is countered into a slam for two. The second kick connects though and it’s Kane back in to clean house. Faarooq cuts him off with a powerslam but Kane sits up in short order. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster with a char though and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the pin on X-Pac.

Rating: D. I’d rather the titles go on a team that actually gets along, even if this feels like another title change for the sake of having a title change. X-Pac and Kane were fine for an oddball tag team but it got really annoying when X-Pac was the giant killer and beating people like Big Show with the still lame X Factor. As usual though, another angle disguised as a match.

GDTV takes us to the bathroom where someone is having some stomach issues, complete with sound effects. D’Lo Brown comes in and it’s Mark Henry having said issues. This has been another unfunny segment that is supposed to make Russo laugh.

Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock

Venis has Nicole Bass with him in a story I had tried to forget. They trade right hands to start until Val has to bail away from a cross armbreaker. A spinebuster gives Val two but Shamrock gets the same off a DDT. Val slams him down but the Money Shot misses. Cue Jarrett to distract Shamrock though, allowing Val to grab a small package for the pin.

Shamrock destroys Venis post match. Val blames Nicole for the loss…but she can make it up to him.

Undertaker promises to destroy Austin.

HHH vs. Mankind

Hardcore rules. HHH hammers away to start but that’s just not going to work very well against someone like Mankind. They’re quickly into the crowd with Mankind beating the fire out of HHH, who is tossed back over the barricade. There’s a suplex on the floor and Chyna sends Mankind into the steps. The sledgehammer shot only hits the steps so HHH backdrops him onto a chair instead.

A Pedigree on the chair on the floor is countered though with HHH getting catapulted into the post instead. HHH is right back up and knocks Mankind into Chyna into the steps, but it doesn’t seem to cause too much damage. Back in and the Mandible Claw goes on, only to have Chyna hit Mankind low with the hammer. That earns her the Mandible Claw of her own but HHH blasts Mankind in the knee with the hammer for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are always worth a look though the ending is pretty obviously just there to write Mankind off for a bit. That’s all well and good, as Rock and Austin are more than capable of being the top guys who can fight off the evil. It also gives HHH a nice rub as taking out Mankind is something Undertaker never could quite do. Not a bad hardcore match either.

Post match HHH stays on the knee until Rock makes the save. That would be Mankind’s last match until August.

Post break, Mankind is taken away in an ambulance with Test riding with him. Geez that might be worse.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Undertaker is defending and his symbol is now back on the stage. Austin wastes no time in wrapping the legs around the post, followed by a good crotching. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow are good for two and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. Austin rams him into various things but his piledriver is countered with a backdrop. With Undertaker slugging away, Austin kicks him low (very common move on this show) and they head back inside.

Austin kicks him in the face to block a backdrop (thankfully avoiding the head snapping up) and nails a clothesline. They head outside again with Austin being sent hip first into the post of the steps. A suplex on the floor keeps Austin in trouble but he’s right back with right hands inside. The running crotch attack misses but it’s a Stunner to drop Undertaker. Bearer pulls the referee out so here comes the Ministry for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like HHH vs. Mankind, these two are always worth a look, even if they didn’t have anywhere near the same level of chemistry. It’s pretty clear looking back that the title wasn’t changing hands here but at the time, it wasn’t out of the question to see it happening. Then again, a clean (well, clean by 1999 standards) ending wasn’t likely no matter what.

Austin gets tied in the ropes and here comes the Higher Power, of course with his face covered by a robe. He leans over to Austin, pulls open the robe and looks at Austin. The stunned look from Austin takes us out and OF COURSE he never actually said who was under the hood until after the reveal.

Overall Rating: D+. I’ve said it many times but these shows REALLY don’t hold up. Sure they were fun to watch week to week when there was the drama of who would it be (I was glued to the screen the next week to find out who was under the robe) but everything else is just so lame. Above all else though, the horrible names and sex puns. It’s so sophomoric and just flat out not funny that it gets very tiresome after about five minutes.

There is some good stuff on here though and shockingly enough, it’s when you have top stars being able to make something out of this drek. Austin, Undertaker, HHH and Mankind are as good as you would expect and can carry a lot of this nonsense. They’re people who are going to be interesting no matter what they’re doing and it shows here. Next week is ALL drama though and that’s what they were selling here, which helps so much. But yeah, not a strong show here with a lot of Russo’s issues shining through.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 28, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Survivor Series and that means we have a new WWF World Champion in the form of Diesel. Yes Diesel, who is now fighting on the side of good, and not Bob Backlund, who lost the title to Diesel three days after he won the title back. The fact that the match was eight seconds made it even more emphatic. The company is running on Diesel Power now and that means….well we’re not sure yet so let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show.

And Survivor Series.

We open with a stills package of Backlund winning the title. My favorite part of that remains British Bulldog being unconscious on the floor for the better part of twelve minutes and receiving no attention, including people walking over his unconscious body. Diesel dominated his Survivor Series match that night but got kicked in the face by Shawn Michaels, meaning the team was done (vacating the Tag Team Titles in the process). We see the full title change with Diesel winning the title. I remember seeing this at six years old and going nuts.

Owen Hart vs. John Paul

Owen is downright giddy after screwing Bret out of the title. Paul gets taken down by the shoulder as Bret calls in to discuss his shoulder injury. He should be back around the New Year due to some stretched tendons so the WE WANT BRET chants are going to be ignored for the time being. Owen gets in some more suplexes and an enziguri but Paul hits a good dropkick. And never mind as the Sharpshooter wraps him up in short order.

Rating: D. Just a squash here while Bret got to update his story. Owen wasn’t going to do much after the feud with Bret wrapped up but he needed to get a win of his own that actually mattered. Unfortunately it would take a long time to get there and that had a lot to do with Owen falling down the card in short order.

Owen throws the towel in on Paul for bad measure.

BUY THE ENCORE!

IRS vs. Adam Bomb

IRS has Ted DiBiase, who brings out his own druid. Apparently Undertaker STILL owes some taxes, which really is inexcusable. Bomb shrugs off the early right hands in the corner and grabs a headlock, because that’s what you expect from a power guy like him. IRS gets knocked outside and rammed into the apron as the announcers talk about Chuck Norris.

Back in and the slingshot clothesline (always looked good) drops IRS again, followed by a whip into the corner for the same. IRS gets in a toss to the floor of his own and it’s time to hit that chinlock. Bomb fights up and we take a very abrupt break. We come back with Bomb in more trouble and another chinlock going on. The comeback, consisting of some clotheslines, but the druid shoves Bomb off the top to give IRS an easy pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve always been a fan of Bomb so the match was a little more entertaining than it could have been otherwise. As it was though, the match was rather boring with no reason to be interested in anything they were doing. I’m also wondering why we’re building Undertaker vs. IRS but my goodness the possible explanations scare the heck out of me.

Lex Luger makes a post match save.

Stills of the casket match.

Bob Holly vs. Tony DeVito

Holly, mostly in black for a weird look, starts fast with the perfect dropkick. DeVito gets in a running corner clothesline for about the extent of his offense. The announcers talk about Holly’s actual racing career until he finishes with a top rope clothesline.

We get what I believe is the first Henry Godwinn vignette. Egads 1994 was a scary time. He’s the scariest hog of all and when he gets to the WWF, he’ll be in hog Heaven. You just know Vince wrote that line.

Lex Luger vs. Bert Centino

Luger works the arm to start and hits some hiptosses. An elbow drop doesn’t go as well but a running clothesline and the Rebel Rack end Bert in a hurry.

Here’s Diesel for his first interview as champion. He recaps Shawn messing things up because he wanted the spotlight after Diesel did all the work. Shawn better be glad he got away because if Diesel had gotten his hands on him, Shawn wouldn’t have survived. Then with Bret out injured, Diesel won the title at Madison Square Garden on Saturday. Diesel recaps his entire day, including the cab ride from the airport.

About a hundred people told him win the title and HOW SWEET IT IS that he now has the gold. He respects Bob Backlund and the crossface chickenwing could be trouble, but Bob has to get it on. Oh yeah he’s corporate now, as that’s not something Diesel would have EVER said before winning the title.

As for Bret, Diesel doesn’t like how he lost the title and if someone hadn’t made Bret give up, Survivor Series would still be going on. Vince: “That would be true.” My goodness you can see the wheels turning for Montreal from here. Diesel would be glad to give Bret a title shot anytime anywhere. He declares the new generation to wrap it up on a pretty bad note.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Gary Scott/Buck Quartermaine

I’ve never been a fan of the Bodies but Cornette raves about them so maybe they’re worth another look. Del Ray gets hiptossed by Scott as Backlund joins commentary, praising the benefits of dictionaries. It’s off to Prichard for a knee drop but Buck is in for some dropkicks. Bob talks about mothers killing their children, which he wants to change. Well now that we’ve covered that issue, Prichard gets in a suplex on Buck to keep him in trouble. Backlund cites Sigmund Freud to explain his blackout after losing the title as Prichard hits the Doctor Bomb for no cover. A Trash Compactor ends Buck.

Rating: D+. I could see why the Bodies were considered a good team and it’s not like there’s anything to be gained off a match like this. Maybe I need to see some of their SMW stuff as that seems to be their heyday. This was mainly about Backlund though, which might explain why the Bodies didn’t work out so well around here.

Backlund doesn’t want to see the title loss (well duh) and promises to chicken wing Vince before he retires. I don’t think anything ever came of that but it’s a funny visual.

Overall Rating: D-. So Diesel is champion now and you can feel the darkness creeping in. They had to get away from Backlund as the top heel and Bret had gotten them about as far as he could, but turning Diesel away from what worked isn’t the best idea in the world. Then again not much on this show was a good idea and that’s a bad sign of things to come. Like Henry Godwinn for example.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means more towel discussion. Actually it means Razor Ramon vs. Diesel, which should make for a good match as the Kliq always worked well together. Hopefully the Survivor Series matches get some more attention this week as they’ve been glossed over, albeit in favor of the bigger matches. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Non-title. We waste no time….in not having the match take place as Diesel and the rest of the Teamsters jump Razor in the aisle. No match and we’re off to a stupid early break.

Tatanka vs. Chris Canyon

I love seeing future names appearing as nobodies. Tatanka starts fast with chops and a slam set up some jumping elbow drops. A release gutwrench suplex puts Canyon down again and we hear about a fan wanting a 24 hour Portuguese channel. Canyon gets in a spinning crossbody for two, followed by a crucifix for the same. Even Cornette is acknowledging some of these near falls. Tatanka scores with a backdrop and the top rope chop, followed by the Papoose To Go for the pin.

Rating: C-. Canyon looked good here and it’s no surprise that he turned into something down the road. He’s certainly not a top level talent but he’s able to go out there and do something, which is more than you get from most jobbers. Why it took him so long to get a major job is hard to say, but it was clear there was something there.

Adam Bomb vs. Jason Ahrendt

Jason was a jobber for the better part of ever. The powerful Bomb wrestles him down for some reason and gets in a suplex. We hit an armbar of all things as it’s time to talk about George Foreman winning the World Heavyweight Championship at 45 years old. Jason’s ax handles have no effect and the Atom Smasher is good for the fast pin.

Vince and Cornette play Raw on Sega Genesis. That’s a show concept if I’ve ever seen one.

We get a long and VERY detailed recap of Clowns R Us vs. the Royal Family, down to the introduction of all six minis. Yes, THIS needs a special feature.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler having all three minis as his guests. Lawler makes the short jokes as only he can until Dink comes out with a water gun. As Jerry blames the other kings, the rest of the clowns come in with their own water guns to soak the kings. Sweet goodness I need to get away from this company.

IRS isn’t happy with Undertaker for cheating on his taxes and has found out quite a few things. This time around, he’s dug up a casket because the occupant’s grave has been repossessed. My goodness IRS and the Repo Man could have been a sweet low level team.

IRS vs. Matt Hardy

Speaking of low level names who became stars. IRS knocks him to the floor as the announcers talk about….hang on a second….Thanksgiving plans, polls about gaining weight over Thanksgiving and Mary Tyler Moore trying to free a lobster. Matt’s sunset flip is broken up and we hit the abdominal stretch. The Write Off (jumping clothesline) ends Hardy as the announcers talk about the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

This week’s Survivor Series Report starts with a shot at WCW (saying this won’t be another rasslin pay per view) before looking at the World Title match. We see clips of last week with Bret and Backlund letting each other out of their respective holds to play some mind games. On Superstars, Backlund went insane (again), shouting about how it’s going to be his again.

We move on to the casket match with a quick video and comments from Undertaker and Paul Bearer. After they say exactly what you would expect, it’s a look at the rest of the card to wrap things up. This was at least more complete than anything else and it’s nice to keep the title match here instead of all over the show.

Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Non-title again. The other eight participants in the Survivor Series match are at ringside. Razor slugs away to start and knocks Jeff Jarrett off the apron as well. Diesel gets taken down in a hammerlock before bailing to the floor for a breather. With Cornette comparing Razor to Desi Arnaz, Diesel elbows him down as the pace slows a lot. Shawn Michaels gets in a few hair pulls from the floor and Diesel slams Razor hard into the mat. We hit the sleeper for a good while until Razor is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Diesel heading outside to glare at the opposing team, allowing Razor to punch him in the jaw. The big sidewalk slam plants Razor for two and it’s off to the neck crank. Back up and Snake Eyes keeps Razor in trouble and there’s the running crotch attack on the ropes. Razor gets in a knee lift and more of those great right hands. Jarrett is dragged in and it’s time for the big brawl as the match is thrown out to end the show.

Rating: B-. These two work very well together as Razor is big enough to throw Diesel around while still looking impressive. Throw in the fact that they’re going to work hard against each other and it’s even better. The ending was obvious but in this case, that’s perfectly acceptable.

Overall Rating: C. Now that’s more like it. This wasn’t a great show or anything but it has me more interested in seeing the pay per view than I was before. I mean, not enough to watch it again or anything but at least things were good back in the day. The main event did focus on the Survivor Series matches and that’s where things needed to go here. I liked the show, even if some of the wrestling wasn’t great. It did what it needed to do though and that’s worth a pass.

I should probably redo Survivor Series but….egads no. Here’s the latest redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/02/survivor-series-count-up-1994-chuck-norris-and-the-mini-kings/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 14, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

We’ve had a big match announced for this week’s show as Bob Backlund is facing the 1-2-3 Kid. That’s an odd match but it sounds oddly interesting for some reason. Bret Hart, who will be defending the WWF World Title against Backlund at the upcoming Survivor Series, should be watching that one so let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show

For some reason the opening match isn’t included on the Network. Thank goodness for other options though.

Opening sequence.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Bob Backlund

Backlund goes straight for him at the bell, which really isn’t what you expect from him. In something a little more predictable, Kid fires off the kicks and grabs a short armscissors to keep Backlund down. Backlund of course does the power lift to put Kid on the top (because that’s his spot), meaning it’s time to start in on the arm.

Back from a very early break with Kid’s arm being sent into the buckle, only to reverse the Crossface Chickenwing into one of his own. Bob slips out but can’t get the real thing on, instead going with more standard arm work. Kid kicks away some more but misses a top rope splash. The Chickenwing goes on and Kid is done in a hurry.

Rating: C. That’s the kind of win that Backlund needs as it makes him look like he can beat someone smaller and faster. It makes him look like a killer and that’s the kind of thing he needs to do going into Survivor Series. The Kid isn’t going to lose anything by losing here so everything comes out fine.

Post match Bret comes in for the save but Backlund grabs the Chickenwing. He lets go immediately though and says it can be that easy. Bret charges him and slaps on the Sharpshooter in the aisle. He lets go as well, saying there won’t be any releasing at Survivor Series.

New Generation ad with an old lady babbling about Shawn Michaels cleaning up the streets. I have no idea how that makes me want to watch wrestling.

Mabel vs. The Blue Phantom

Mabel and Oscar rap about how they’re going to dominate at the Survivor Series with DiBiase telling Vince to sit down. The Phantom is all in black, making me think they have no idea how colors work. Mabel powers him into the corner to start and sends the Phantom flying with a hiptoss. The big elbow misses and Phantom kicks away in the corner, only to get caught with the Boss Man Slam for an easy pin.

We go to the Survivor Series Report with Todd Pettengill and unfortunately without his sweet shirt from last week. This week looks at the submission and casket match as there’s not much left to say on these things. We see a clip of the first casket match between Undertaker and Yokozuna, spliced in with Chuck Norris talking about how he won’t let it happen again. Tatanka promises to test Norris because he doesn’t like Texas. We hear about the Survivor Series matches to wrap things up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Gary Sabaugh

The announcers start talking about Sonny Bono becoming a Congressman as it’s time to discuss the news, which was never funny and I never got the point. Jeff hiptosses him down and let’s hit that strutting. Choking on the ropes sets up the running crotch attack before it’s off to the leg. The Figure Four is good for the win.

Rating: D. I know Jarrett is now a Hall of Famer but that doesn’t make him the most interesting wrestler in the world. He wrestles such a simple style but he’s far from someone I’d want to see him wrestle. The country music stuff isn’t good either and it’s not getting any better with time.

IRS has no issues with stealing Undertaker’s headstone because EVERYONE, either living or dead, has to pay their taxes. Being six feet under is NOT a tax shelter.

It’s time for the King’s Court and after some general insults to the crowd, Lawler brings out Owen Hart as the guest. Owen has the towel for the submission match (the same one thrown in to cause Backlund to lose the title in 1983) and can’t wait to see Bret in the Crossface Chickenwing. He promises to never throw the towel in, meaning the only one going into the ring will be pink and black. They take their sweet time explaining the rules (they’re really not that hard) and Lawler thinks Backlund is still rightfully champion.

This brings out British Bulldog (Bret’s towel holder) to say Bret is champion today and will still be after Survivor Series. Owen wants Bulldog to let Bret be in pain for some time before throwing in the towel. They argue over whose hold is better and it just kind of ends after the rambling exchanges.

Aldo Montoya vs. Brooklyn Brawler

This is Aldo’s debut and let’s talk about Celebrity Jeopardy! Aldo avoids an early elbow drop but gets pulled down by the hair. Instead it’s a dropkick to send Brawler outside, followed by the required dive. DiBiase reads an ad for an upcoming movie and Vince really doesn’t seem pleased. Brawler gets two off a backbreaker as Vince reads it all over again. A hurricanrana into some right hands have Brawler in trouble and a spinning high crossbody is good for the fast pin. I’m not sure I see the appeal here, but Paul Heyman certainly did….whatever it was.

Post match DiBiase offers Montoya a spot in the Million Dollar Corporation but gets shot down, both in Portuguese and English.

Alundra Blayze gives a quick plug for her upcoming title match in Tokyo.

Overall Rating: D. I’m interested in some of the team matches but this was almost all built around the World Title match. The problem with that is while it makes for a good match, it really doesn’t make for interesting TV. The fact that most of the talking is about throwing in a towel makes things even worse. Couple that with the Montoya stuff being even less interesting and this was a rough sit.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 7, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series 1994, which means it’s time to talk about the Harts. Bret and Owen have been feuding all year, including a heck of a cage match at Summerslam. Jim Neidhart interfered on Owen’s behalf but British Bulldog made the save, setting up something like a fever dream tag match here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

For a historical note: this is the first time Lawler ever did commentary for the show.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

You can’t say the Hart Family wasn’t extensive. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent into each other, followed by Bulldog pressing Owen over the top onto Neidhart. Bret launches Neidhart back in and we settle down a bit. My goodness it’s odd seeing Bret beating on Neidhart but 1994 was a strange time. A bearhug goes nowhere for Neidhart and it’s off to the Bulldog for the power struggle.

Bulldog shrugs off some double teaming and hits the delayed vertical on Owen. We hit the lamest armbar I’ve seen in a good while until Owen comes back with an enziguri. Serves Bulldog right for something so lazy. Vince goes over the towel colors in the upcoming submission match because that’s the kind of time these people have to kill. Neidhart comes in for a chinlock, followed by a double clothesline to drop Bulldog again.

That means another chinlock, again likely due to the high amount of time they have. Neidhart gets two off a gutwrench suplex and we take a break. Back with Bulldog grabbing a sunset flip for an ECW fast two. We hit the front facelock to keep Bulldog in trouble, only to have Owen draw Bret in so there can’t be a hot tag. I love spots like that and they’re always going to work.

It’s back to the chinlock (the Owen Edition this time), followed by the reverse version for good measure. Bulldog fights up and gets two off a backslide but Neidhart comes back in and pounds him in the corner. We take a second break and come back with a double knockdown to put Bulldog and Owen in trouble.

Just because we haven’t had enough of my favorite stuff yet, Bulldog makes the tag but Neidhart has the referee so it doesn’t count. Bulldog sends them into each other though and NOW the hot tag brings Bret in to clean house. We hit the Five Moves of Doom on Neidhart but Owen gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Owen’s top rope ax to Bret’s head gives Neidhart two more but Bulldog sends Owen into the steps. The Sharpshooter makes Neidhart give up.

Rating: B. Good, long tag match here with both teams getting to throw in a lot of offense. Bret winning makes the most sense and it’s good to have him beat Neidhart instead of Owen, which he’s done multiple times now. The upcoming title match with Backlund vs. Bret should be interesting but you can feel the big stuff coming.

Todd Pettengill has the Survivor Series Report (and an AWESOME Survivor Series shirt) and tells us the story of someone waiting too long to order the show and being arrested for stealing the VHS. The big story for the show is Chuck Norris acting as guest enforcer for the casket match. Chuck wants the toughest, meanest men in the world, which is why he’s showing up.

We also hear about the Survivor Series teams, back when they had actual names and not Team *insert captain’s name here*. I know Guts & Glory isn’t great but it’s SOMETHING and that’s more than you get today. A recap of the WWF World Title match wraps things up. I still want that shirt.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tyron Knox

Tyron’s right hands have no effect and Bigelow clotheslines him down. Vince chuckles at the VINCE FOR SENATE sign in the crowd as Bigelow tosses Knox out of the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit as the announcers talk about everything else other than this match. Bigelow grabs a front facelock as this is going longer than necessary. Now it’s a neck crank before Bigelow puts his hands on his hips, seemingly out of boredom. A dropkick and the enziguri ends Knox.

Rating: D-. Even more boring than your usual squash with Bigelow not exactly looking thrilled to be out there. Knox got in a bit more offense than your usual jobber but that just extended the match further than it needed to go. To be fair though, sometimes a squash isn’t going to work because you can only get so excited about something like this every given week.

And now for the historical moment: Vince announces that Randy Savage couldn’t come to terms on a new contract with the company and is gone. He does offer what sounds like a heartfelt thank you for everything Savage has done, including wishing him good luck. And that’s the last positive thing you would hear about Savage for a very long time.

It’s time for the King’s Court with guest the 1-2-3 Kid. Lawler says Kid is going out for Halloween wearing a white hat and fuzzy house slippers so he can be a Q-Tip. Kid is going to be in trouble next week when he faces Bob Backlund, but Kid isn’t worried about the crossface chickenwing. Cue Backlund but Kid kicks him to the floor without much effort. Bret comes out to make sure nothing else happens.

This Sunday on Action Zone: Bob Holly vs. Jerry Lawler! That’s not even a weak indy main event.

Doink the Clown vs. Pat Tanaka

Doink has Dink, Wink and Pink with him so Lawler gets covered in silly string. Tanaka’s name graphic doesn’t come up until a little bit into the match. Doink mocks the Crane Kick pose as the announcers talk about the upcoming Clowns R Us vs. Royal Family match, just to make my blood pressure go up. A clothesline has Tanaka in trouble but he grabs a dragon screw legwhip to take over. The leg work doesn’t go very far though as Doink gets in a belly to back suplex, followed by the Whoopee Cushion for the pin.

Rating: D. Doink wasn’t exactly thrilling at this point and the upcoming match would be one of the least entertaining matches the company would ever put together. As soon as the character started being geared towards children, he was dead in the water and everyone knew it. Tatanka should have been around more often as he was talented enough to fill a lower card roll around this point. But nah, just let him job to a clown instead.

Post match the mini clowns steal Jerry’s crown and return it with a jewel missing.

Back from a break with Lawler yelling at the mini Kings. The Clowns come out and snarling ensues.

Bret says he’ll be here when the 1-2-3 Kid faces Backlund last week. It’s the old generation vs. the new generation and the Kid is the best of the new. That’s some high praise but after their awesome title match, I’m not surprised.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a one match show but that was a heck of a match. The Bret vs. Backlund stuff certainly isn’t for everyone but once they got into it, they had a classic at Survivor Series. The squash matches were really bad this week though and that dragged the rest of the show down. Check out the tag match though.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Al Snow, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night tonight because THE BATTLING ANNOUNCERS ARE BACK! This time around we have it’s in the form of Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman for the commentary job, because Steve Austin can just do that again. Oh and there’s a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title with Christian defending against Rob Van Dam. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Snow and Coach, already at the desk, get another entrance this week.

Here are Chris Jericho and Eric Bischoff, who come out together, for the Highlight Reel. Bischoff gets things going by announcing that Austin is suspended for a week due to the unprovoked attack last week. Totally fair point actually. Jericho thinks that’s too light and blames Austin for costing him the World Title last week. It turns out that Bischoff isn’t the guest so here’s Jim Ross.

Jericho isn’t happy with it but tonight JR could get his job back. However, Bischoff thinks Coach should get to pick the stipulation. Coach says he’s thought about whipping JR before (That’s not something I’ve ever needed to know.) so we’ll make it a country whipping match. Jericho brings up Kane burning JR’s back a few months ago, which could make a whipping match all the more painful. That sounds great to Bischoff but JR says they better hope he wins tonight, because they all suck.

In response to that horrible comeback, Jericho slaps on the Walls of Jericho but here’s the suspended Austin for the save. Austin knew something like this would happen but Bischoff sends security after him. They grab his drinking arm (both of them actually) and that means a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer. I’m not seeing that happening when JR is wrestling so take what you can get.

Post break, Austin has been put outside with security blocking his entrance.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Test/Scott Steiner

Test and Steiner are challenging. The sleeveless top, black skirt and tie look works quite well for Stacy Keibler. Steiner and Test get in an argument over who starts so Bubba pulls Test in and pounds away in the corner. Test avoids a shot and goes to tag Steiner, who takes a step back down the steps.

The pumphandle slam is easily blocked but Test can break up the What’s Up. D-Von isn’t as adept at breaking up the pumphandle but Steiner breaks it up at two. Stacy takes a chair away from Test and gets shoved down, leaving Scott to take a Bubba Bomb. With Test still mad, Stacy chairs him in the head, setting up the 3D to retain in short order.

Post match Steiner says he doesn’t like Test but he doesn’t forgive Stacy for calling all these problems. He gives her a belly to belly, making Steiner a heel who is teaming with another heel who he doesn’t like while being managed by a face. Again: weird year.

Post break, we see some replays of the suplex to Stacy. Snow wants to know why director Kevin Dunn is showing this.

Here’s Kane to rant about Shane McMahon. Last week he tasted Shane’s blood and loved it. This is just the beginning….so here’s Hurricane to interrupt. Hurricane shows us a clip of the two of them winning the Tag Team Titles last year. Less than a year later, Kane has become a psychopathic monster.

Kane says Hurricane represents everything Kane used to hate about himself and invites Hurricane to come down and see what the monster is like. That’s a no (what a horrible superhero) so Kane goes after a kid in the front row. The kid needs to feel his pain and that’s enough for Hurricane to come in for the save. That just leads to a beatdown until Rosey comes in for the real save….which actually works?

Earlier today, Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade were playing the new WWE game when Maven wants to join in. La Resistance comes in and calls that stupid. Cade INSULTS THE FRENCH ARMY IN WORLD WAR TWO (Dupree: “That’s two hundred years ago!”) and a six man seems to be made for later.

La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Maven/Mark Jindrak

The good guys clean house to start until a flag shot to the back cuts Cade off. The French villains take turns with some shots to the jaw before Conway has to break up a sunset flip at two. Conway grabs a chinlock until a suplex gets Cade out of trouble. Maven gets the hot tag and fires off some dropkicks as everything breaks down. The double spinebuster plants Maven but Jindrak makes the save (Snow: “He’s just stuck with a really bad name. I tried to get him to change it.”). Jindrak and Cade’s Hart Attack with a dropkick pins Conway.

Rating: D. I get the youth movement idea but Jindrak is the only one with the slightest glimmer of potential. Maven is still a pair of eyebrows with a bad wrestler attached and Garrison Cade is named Garrison Cade. It’s not like La Resistance is much better but at least they have characters.

Austin is still trying to get in when Rob Van Dam comes up to thank him for giving Rob the ladder match tonight. Van Dam leaves and Austin runs into a good sized guy who is a bit star struck. His name is Jon Heidenreich and he’s tried to be a wrestler for ten years. Jon has a ticket, and that gets Austin’s attention. They go off to have a little talk.

HHH joins us via satellite to talk about paranoia sinking in on Goldberg. He knows Goldberg will crack but he’d like to push it along a bit. We pan to the side where HHH has a briefcase. If he had a dollar for every time someone chanted GOLDBERG, he’d be a rich man. It turns out that he is a rich man, so whoever can take Goldberg out gets $100,000. The game just got a lot more interesting. If you consider 1983 Mid-Atlantic more interesting (and I could see how you would), that’s true.

Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman

The commentary jobs are on the line and they both have leather straps but you win via pin or submission. Jericho comes out for commentary and JR hits a quick whip shot to send Coach outside (though he maintains his hat). Coach gets in an argument with a fan (Jericho calls it ballyhooing) and gets whipped back into the ring. Jericho compares Coach to a young Tito Santana (YOU TAKE THAT BACK!) and now it’s time for Coach to get in his own whips.

As JR mouths some rather severe swearing, Coach whips him down even more until a low blow cuts him off. JR takes Coach’s shirt off and more whipping ensues. Bischoff tries to run in and gets whipped as well, leaving JR to hit a Stunner (Well, kind of. JR went down like he was giving a Diamond Cutter but Coach sold it like a Stunner.) for the pin.

Rating: F. Oh what else were you expecting? Well actually some more interference, though at least Coach isn’t a wrestler so this wasn’t the biggest stretch in the world. That being said, what in the world was the point of this whole story? To continue Bischoff vs. Austin? Well fine, but there was NOTHING else they could do other than this stupid announcers feud? I don’t quite buy that.

Lawler comes in to celebrate and of course Austin, with the ticket, jumps the barricade to raise JR’s hand. Jericho has been on a nearly continuous rant about how unfair this is, showing how he really could be an awesome heel announcer if he’d ever need to lower himself like that. Austin finally cuts him off by saying he’ll drink to this so beer is consumed.

Video on Wrestlemania tickets going on sale. It’s still cool.

Terri is in the ring to interview Lita about her new book. Lita sucks up to the fans a bit but says she’s past the broken neck. She’s back…and here are Gail Kim and Molly Holly to interrupt. Molly rants about Trish having a DVD and Lita having a book. Where’s Gail’s DVD? Where’s Molly’s book? Well Gail has been around for about three months and Molly could just write a book.

The beatdown is on with Lita easily escaping a double suplex before Trish can get in for the save. Molly and Gail get beaten up for a bit until Victoria runs in for the real beatdown. Gail rips up the book and shoves the pages in Lita’s mouth. This has some more potential, partially because there’s an actual division being put together instead of just three people.

Kane vs. The Hurricane

Hurricane jumps him on the floor and hits a flip dive from the top. Back in and a Shining Wizard (which was a knee that barely grazed the back of Kane’s head) gets two. That’s about it from Hurricane though as Kane sends him into the corner and finishes with the chokeslam in less than a minute.

Kane gives him another chokeslam for good measure.

Goldberg isn’t worried about the bounty and beats up Steven Richards as he tries to collect.

Ric Flair/Randy Orton vs. Goldberg/Shawn Michaels

Goldberg shoves Flair down to start and double clotheslines both villains down. It’s off to so Shawn for a clothesline to put Flair on the floor but Orton catches him with the backbreaker. The slow beating continues until Flair’s chops wake Shawn up for a bit but Orton cuts him off with a dropkick. It’s back to Flair who struts a lot, allowing Shawn to nip up and hit the flying forearm. The hot tag brings in Goldberg for a series of backdrops and a spear to Flair. Shawn superkicks Orton to the floor but here’s Rodney Mack with a chair to Goldberg for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was a formula tag match to advance the bounty angle. There’s nothing wrong with that and at least they didn’t spend a ton of time on something like this. Goldberg having to fight off various people until he gets to the big fight is fine, especially when there’s about two months before the next time Raw is on pay per view.

Goldberg runs through Mack but Mark Henry destroys Shawn, busting him open and dragging him up the steps.

Post break Teddy Long praises Mark, who wants Goldberg next week.

Christian is walking through the back and blows a kiss to Trish and Lita before running into Tommy Dreamer. Tommy calls him a CLB so Christian rants about how awesome he is and steals Dreamer’s apple.

Video on the Rundown.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Christian is defending in a ladder match. Rob easily wins a battle of kicks to start but Christian won’t let him set up an early ladder. Instead it’s Christian picking one up so Rob hits a flip dive over the top onto the ladder onto Christian. Well that was rather stupid. Since that did more damage to Rob than Christian, the champ bridges a ladder between the barricade and the steps. Christian is dropped ribs first onto the ladder and the spinning kick to the back makes things even worse.

There’s a ladder set up in the corner so of course Van Dam is whipped hard into it for his efforts. A catapult sends Rob face first into the ladder but he’s right back up with a delayed gorilla press onto the ladder. Rob has always been deceptively strong and the athleticism makes it even less noticeable. Christian gets knocked outside so Rob can make the first climb, only to be taken down by the reverse DDT off the ladder.

That’s not enough to get the title though as Christian is sent into the ladder in the corner, followed by a Cannonball (called Rolling Thunder, which is close enough). Rob uses the ladder for a Van Daminator but the Five Star only hits ladder. A hard running shot with the ladder puts Van Dam on the floor again but he comes back in with a top rope kick to knock it over again. The double climb leads to a slugout with both guys falling, only to have Rob catch himself on the other ladder. A Five Star from that ladder is enough for Rob to go up and get the title for the win.

Rating: B. While it’s no classic, this was the kind of match that Raw has been needing: hard hitting, a lot of fun and with a good guy winning in the end. Oh and a lack of HHH or Evolution helped too. This isn’t the kind of match that anyone is going to remember as anything great, but it was what they should have done on this show, especially as the main event instead of the big tag match.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot but it’s very clear that we’re just waiting on HHH to heal up and come get his title back. Other than that….what is going on around here? You have the Austin vs. Bischoff feud which seems to tie into most of the stories on the show but can’t actually lead to a match because Austin can’t wrestle and Bischoff is Bischoff. Everything else seems to be just going in whatever direction with no end in sight. That’s fine if the stuff is good, but that’s not the case here. Not the worst, but they need a direction.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 26, 2018
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Elimination Chamber and the first of six Monday Night Raws before we get to New Orleans for Wrestlemania XXXIV. Last night saw the most obvious of obvious endings with Roman Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber, basically taking him from not doing much to being in the biggest match of the year overnight. You can’t fight that script you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show.

And last night’s pay per view.

We open with a recap of Reigns winning the Chamber.

Here’s an abbreviated version of the HHH/Stephanie McMahon/Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey segment. Stephanie has DEMANDED an apology tonight. Well now it’s serious.

Here are Alexa Bliss and the now heel Mickie James for a chat. Bliss brags about the win last night and says she knew it would happen. Mickie gets some praise as well before Bliss talks about how she’s the greatest thing ever on Raw. Bayley is a lost cause and Sasha’s big ego caught up to her again.

Alexa hopes Asuka is ready for Wrestlemania so here’s Asuka in person. Asuka storms to the ring but Bliss cuts her off, saying Jax should have been in the match but she made one mistake. Cue Jax so Asuka goes after Bliss and James, only to get dropped by Jax. A triangle choke has Jax in trouble but Bliss and James come back in for the save. Cue Bayley and Sasha for the save but Jax lays them out too.

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka vs. Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Joined in progress in the match you knew was coming. Bayley gets beaten down with a few shots to the back, including a hard one from Bliss. It’s quickly off to Banks though and the double knees in the corner get two on Alexa. Sasha gets sent to the floor though and Jax runs her over like she’s not even there.

Back from a break with Banks in trouble off a Mickie chinlock. Banks kicks her away and loads up a tag but Bayley drops to the floor and stands in the aisle. Instead it’s off to Asuka (so Sasha gets an upgrade) for the rapid fire kicks, followed by a rolling leg/armbar to make Mickie tap out at 10:53.

Rating: C-. I can’t count how man times I’ve seen some incarnation of this match. Bayley FINALLY wising up and doing something logical was nice to see but other than that, this was every six woman tag you’ve seen over and over again. You can pretty much book Bliss vs. Jax for the title and that’s the best option, but we need a better way of booking the women and soon.

Here’s John Cena to discuss his path to Wrestlemania. Last night he failed in the Elimination Chamber and then had a microphone shoved in his face. He wasn’t sure what to say but now he’s figured it out. After all these failures in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, it’s time for a Wrestlemania challenge. It’s time for John Cena to challenge THE UNDERTAKER for Wrestlemania.

The place goes nuts but Cena says that’s not happening either. Cena doesn’t make the matches around here and has been told that match is impossible. Therefore, his road to Wrestlemania now goes through Smackdown, because Cena is a free agent. He’ll be there tomorrow night to earn a spot, so see you then. It’s a good thing we can’t see Cena, because he’s sounding really dumb right now. Apparently everyone without a match right now has failed, meaning everyone but Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Lesnar and Reigns have failed. Just please don’t be Undertaker. Please.

Heath Slater vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray beats up Slater and Rhyno before the bell rings. The beating ensues and there’s no match.

Post match Bray sits in the corner with his eyes looking like he’s about to cry. This is all on Matt Hardy for driving Bray to this. The Great War is still going and they will face each other again. Well it didn’t work the first two times so maybe the third is the right idea.

We see the Rousey package again.

Here’s Miz to have his Wrestlemania opponent announced. First of all, we hear about how awesome Hollywood is and how Miz is only 62 days before becoming the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. After that, he’ll be the greatest champion of all time. Not Chris Jericho, not Edge, not Bret Hart and not Shawn Michaels. He’s still no Tito Santana.

Miz is tired of being treated like a joke without even having merchandise to be sold. He wants to know his opponent for Wrestlemania so earlier today he asked Kurt Angle. All he was told was that his opponent tonight MIGHT tell him who that is going to be. This sends Miz into a rant about how he deserves better than might because he’s carried this show for the last year. Here’s tonight’s opponent.

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz

Non-title. Rollins sends him outside in short order but the Miztourage get in a few shots to take over. Miz whips Seth into the barricade and they head back inside for a chinlock. The YES Kicks have Rollins in trouble and allow the announcers to debate who invented them again. Seth gets tossed to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Seth getting back into it but not being able to hit the frog splash. Miz scores with the corner dropkicks but the top rope ax handle is broken up with a quick crotching. The superplex into a Falcon Arrow gets two on Miz but Rollins hits a dive onto the Miztourage. Back in and the frog splash (with a BIG leap) gives Rollins the pin at 14:24.

Post match here’s Finn Balor and it’s time for round two.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Non-title again….and the Miztourage comes in for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Anderson and Gallows come in for the save but Angle pops up on screen to say we’re continuing until there’s a winner or Miz isn’t going until Wrestlemania.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz hits a running corner dropkick and gets two off a DDT. More shots to the back and a faceplant gets two on Balor as this is one sided so far. A running knee gives Miz two and we take a break. Back with Balor jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and hitting a kick to the head. The announcers argue over who should be #1 contender.

Cole says Balor should get a shot if he pins Miz, just like Rollins. Graves logically points out that Miz isn’t fresh coming into this match, which makes far too much sense for this. Balor hits something like an Eye of the Hurricane for two, followed by the Sling Blade to rock Miz again. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C-. This was all angle but Cole sounded really stupid saying it was a fair exchange. As Graves pointed out, Balor beat a worn down Miz and somehow that’s supposed to be the same thing. I’m sure there will be several other wrestlers added to the match because that’s how the Intercontinental Title match works and it’s not like there’s a big match to be wasted otherwise where you can put these people in to make it matter.

Post match, Cole yells at Graves for being a Miz propaganda machine as Graves wants Mantaur and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz out here. Maybe they can beat Miz too and it’ll be the same thing!

Rollins says there’s more than one way to Wrestlemania and he knows how to get there. He wants Miz and the Intercontinental Title and he wants them at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Roman Reigns for the showdown with Lesnar. Actually never mind, because Reigns says something happened and Lesnar isn’t here. It’s not like it would matter as Lesnar doesn’t show up unless he’s getting paid. Lesnar hides behind his contract and shows up when he feels like it. Last night, Lesnar was in Las Vegas but he was running around with Dana White from the UFC.

Reigns is going to get in trouble for this but he’s here every single week no matter what. He cares about this place and doesn’t just call himself a businessman like Lesnar and Heyman. He’s going to go to the back and take his yelling like a man because he actually cares about this place. This was a few years late, but it’s Roman’s best promo ever. Build this up as a fight and it’s a much more interesting main event.

Braun Strowman is going to put a symphony of destruction on Elias tonight.

Black History Month video.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide

The Bar is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the first fall over Titus at 9 seconds. Apollo comes in to give Titus a break and scores with a dropkick. It’s back to Titus for a slam, followed by Apollo’s jumping elbow for two. Back from a break with the champs still in control but Apollo getting over for a hot tag to Titus.

Something like a Dominator/shoulder breaker (looked a bit botched) plants Sheamus and Apollo adds a frog splash for two. The standing moonsault gets the same with Cesaro making the save. Apollo dives over the top onto Sheamus but gets crotched back inside. The assisted White Noise retains the titles in two straight falls at 11:19.

Rating: C+. We’ve seen this match several times now and it’s not exactly doing anything to show the depth of the tag division. Really at this point it has to be Bar vs. Revival at Wrestlemania as there’s no one left for them to face. That being said, I’m not sure who benefited from having them split this many wins. Titus Worldwide does get a rub, but it doesn’t matter if they’re done as a title contender with no one left to fight. But at least they killed a few months, which is the lone benefit from this thing.

Post match the Bar celebrates, saying they have Titus Worldwide’s number and it’s zero. They brag about their string of success but there’s no one left to face.

Jarrius Robertson, a double liver transplant survivor, is getting the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Here’s Elias with the guitar to talk about noise pollution. Braun Strowman is noise pollution. Everything Graves says is noise pollution. It’s time for the song and of course it calls the crowd a bunch of losers, just like Strowman.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Elias tries to bail to the floor but Braun easily catches him and throws Elias around the ring a bit. A double ax handle to the chest sets up a running splash in the corner. Strowman hits him in the head but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias scores with a top rope ax handle but is quickly cut off as Strowman just runs him over. They head to the floor with Elias hiding grabbing a fire extinguisher to spray Strowman for the DQ at 5:04.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match as they seem to be setting up a rematch at Wrestlemania. I’ve heard of worse ideas and it would be nice to have them put together something with two younger guys like this for a change. Strowman deserves a fun win at the show anyway. Well he deserves the World Title but that can’t happen here.

Post match Elias gets punched to the floor but slips out of the powerslam through the announcers’ table. Elias gets into the parking lot and escapes as a limo pulls up.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the response to last night. First though, here’s the same video package for the third time. Stephanie says that was Ronda acting out of savage instinct and the slap was to remind her of who is boss. Now though we need an apology from Kurt Angle so we can get on the Road to Wrestlemania. Instead here’s a ticked off Ronda but Kurt runs down and cuts her off.

Ronda talks about having never been slapped before and how that took her to a different place. Angle says he needs this job but last night, he lied. The things he said HHH and Stephanie said aren’t true. Stephanie gets back in and says they’re not bad people and goes to leave again. Ronda says not so fast and says it’s Stephanie who needs to apologize to her. If she doesn’t, Stephanie’s arm is coming out of its socket. Stephanie gets in her face and apologizes in a funny bit. The bosses go to leave again but HHH punches Kurt in the face on the way out.

No word on who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: C. This was an up and down show as they kept teasing setting up stuff for Wrestlemania but nothing was actually announced. They have five shows left and it would be nice to have something actually set up instead of being hinted at. They’re running out of time and that needs to light a fire under them already. It’s not a bad show but they need to do something pretty soon.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James

Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash

Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered

Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace

The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo

Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6