Monday Night Raw
Date: September 23, 2002
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Unforgiven and the big story on the Raw side is Ric Flair joining forces with HHH to form….well to form nothing at the moment but that’s the only noteworthy thing that happened last night. I’m worried about what we’ll be getting going forward but that’s so often the case around here. Let’s get to it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Trish is defending after winning the title last night. Victoria goes after the champ before Molly even gets to the ring and the fight is on in a hurry. As Lawler asks if Trish is the hottest Women’s Champion ever, the challengers start double teaming Trish as you might expect them to do. That earns them a double clothesline and some signature stuff but Molly lifts her up for a toss out to the floor (and one heck of a bump). Back in and Molly avoids Victoria’s moonsault, setting up a collision to knock Molly into Trish’s rollup to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see (save for that nasty crash to the floor) but this was quick enough to not overstay its welcome. The women just aren’t good enough at this point to work a long match so it’s a good idea to keep things short here. Victoria looked a lot more aggressive here and that’s the best thing possible for Trish and the title.

Booker T. and Goldust show some of the roster clips of last night with Eric Bischoff getting humiliated. Goldust: “I haven’t seen anything that bad since Chris Jericho’s last Fozzy concert.” As a bonus, Goldust has a picture of Bischoff with Rikishi’s thong replacing the face. Rico: “That’s disgusting! I’M TELLING ERIC!”

Bischoff welcomes an unnamed face to the Raw side when Rico comes in. Eric wants to know where Rico was last night but it was Bischoff who sent them out on the town. Anyway Rico tells him what Booker and Goldust were up to and Eric is ticked.

After a break, here’s a ticked off Bischoff in the arena. Bischoff isn’t cool with the fans booing him but more importantly, Vince McMahon has issued a new decree: there’s a freeze on all contracts and no one gets to jump between shows unless there is an official trade. However he made a few last minute deals before the deadline with details coming later.

For now though, Booker needs to come out here RIGHT NOW. Bischoff wants an explanation but Booker calls him a skippy hippie. Booker keeps making jokes about last night and says Bischoff’s breath is heinous like a fat man’s anus. Cue 3 Minute Warning and Rico for the beatdown with Goldust’s save going nowhere.

Post break, Rico offers to face Booker tonight and Chris Jericho comes up to demand a shot at Goldust for the Fozzy insult. Eric agrees but makes it an Intercontinental Title shot. That’s a very face move for a heel boss.

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show

Jeff goes right after him to start and actually hits something like a suicide dive. That’s not what you do to a giant though and he tosses Jeff over the top so we can have the opening bell. Back in and Jeff dropkicks him in the knee and hits the Swanton across Show’s back for what is likely his only near fall. Show just blasts him with the overhand chop to bust open Jeff’s shirt. That’s enough for Show as he plants Jeff with the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we’re getting the renewed Big Show push because I just don’t want to imagine a WWE without it. Allegedly Hardy was rather, ahem, unable to perform last week so this might have been punishment as a result. I’d rather have that instead of “comedy” but Big Show might not be the best choice to push.

We look back at Tommy Dreamer beating up Christopher Nowinski two weeks back.

Nowinski is in a classroom and wants to fight dreamer. Post break Dreamer shows up and gets caned down. Dreamer puts him through the ceiling and the beating just keeps going because we NEED hardcore stuff around here without actually having hardcore matches.

Randy Orton vs. Steven Richards

Here’s one of the talent jumps but it’s not clear if he was the mystery man earlier. Orton hits his quick dropkick as the crowd is just silent for this. Richards slows things down and gets two off a side slam. The rather slow pace continues until Orton slips out of a neckbreaker and grabs a belly to back suplex.

Commentary would suggest that the company wants Orton to be the next Rocky Maivia but it’s not quite working. How can Orton be considered a blue chipper without a Jheri Curl? Orton’s backbreaker and powerslam get two each, only to walk into the Stevie Kick for two. That means a freak out session and choking from Richards, only to eat the high crossbody to give Orton the pin. Lawler: “THIS KID IS PHENOMENAL!” Just….no Jerry.

Rating: D-. Above all else this was incredibly boring. Orton has no character at this point and there’s only so much you’re going to be able to do in a match against a low level nothing like Richards. It’s a really boring match and that doesn’t make Orton seem like the bright star that the announcers are pushing him to be.

The Union Underground performs Across the Nation (Raw’s theme) while some Divas dance. Lillian looks like she’s just enjoying the song, Terri looks like she has no idea what she’s doing (might not be her kind of music) and Jackie is having a great time while barely staying in her top. Stacy is miles ahead of all of them as she looks amazing and clearly has done this kind of dancing for a long time.

Here’s Flair for the big explanation. Last week, HHH yelled at him and said Flair was pathetic. HHH was right and it’s because Flair was too busy listening to the fans. When he was a kid, HHH wanted to be Ric Flair (or Hulk Hogan if you listen to the story from back in April) and now Flair is going to try to pull that off.

If HHH is willing, Flair is going to teach him how to get to another level. Flair’s payment is very simple: he gets to be by the champ’s side and spend the twilight of his career on top where he belongs. Rob Van Dam tries to interfere but HHH beats him down from behind. The double team is on until Bubba Ray Dudley makes the save.

Two notes here: first of all, they kept this short but covered the point. We know why Flair did it and we know what he gets out of it. Simple yet effective, as promos often need to be.

Second, this is a great example of how important it is to have the right character in the right role. I can accept the idea that HHH is a huge Flair fan and wants to be just like him. There’s no specific reason but it’s something I could accept at face value. For an example of it going bad, look back at AJ Styles doing the same thing in 2010. I can imagine AJ being a Flair fan but I absolutely can’t believe one of the most natural faces ever being a Nature Boy clone. You need to have the right kind of character for any given role and it works very well here, which is why the angle should work as well as it’s going to.

Post break Bubba and Van Dam say this is the people’s show and demand a tag match tonight. Bischoff comes up to say it’s his show but allows the match anyway.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Goldust

Jericho is defending and these two are somehow still active fifteen years later. Goldust gets in a quick hiptoss and catapult to send him into the buckle. The champ comes right back with a bulldog and cranks on the neck as we hear about how big a band Fozzy really is. With that going nowhere, Jericho hits an extended trash talk sequence. It’s enough for Goldust to fight back with something like a Boss Man Slam/chokeslam but the Curtain Call is broken up. Goldust will settle for a powerslam but the referee breaks up Shattered Dreams. Jericho gets in the enziguri and the Walls retain the title.

Rating: C. Not bad here, as you might expect. I don’t think anyone was going to buy Goldust as a full fledged threat to win the title but you’re going to get a completely watchable match out of him. I’m still not entirely sure why Jericho has the title again but he’s far from the worst choice.

Tag Team Titles: Un-Americans vs. Kane/???

Kane is challenging along with his partner…..the Hurricane? Again it’s not clear if he was the one who was in Bischoff’s office or not but it doesn’t really matter. An early Blockbuster puts Christian down but the rest of the team jumps Hurricane on the floor. Kane does his best angry stare for the save and it’s Christian getting in a few stomps of his own. We hit the chinlock for a bit until a clothesline puts both guys down.

Hurricane dives over for the hot tag and the fans react as strongly as they can. House is quickly cleaned until Regal gets in a title shot to Kane’s head. Er, mask. Either way, it only gets two and Regal and Test are both ejected for their efforts. Charles Robinson trying to be intimidating is one of the best comedy spots of the year. Hurricane gets a sloppy hurricanrana on Christian and heel miscommunication sets up a double chokeslam (eh cute) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. I’m so glad we had the Un-Americans all over the show for so many weeks to have them lose to the latest thrown together team. I’ve seen worse matches though and Hurricane is always entertaining, at least for a quick laugh. Not bad here and the fans got into the American victory, which is the whole point here.

Post break Hurricane says he and Kane are perfect together because they both wear masks and both use chokeslams. Tonight it’s time to celebrate and Kane says freaks are cool. Hurricane is ready to go to the Hurricave but Kane stops to kiss Terri before leaving with his partner.

Regal isn’t happy but says the team will regroup.

Booker T. vs. Rico

Booker hammers away in the corner until Rico reverses and fires off some kicks to the head. That springboard version always looks good. A kneelift only seems to fire Booker up and it’s the forearm into the Spinarooni. The scissors kick ends Rico in short order.

Post match it’s 3 Minute Warning for the beatdown and Goldust for the failed save. The difference is Booker is in gear instead of street clothes like earlier and Goldust actually hits Shattered Dreams on Rico before getting taken apart. Totally different idea you see.

Bischoff makes 3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T. for next week. Again, not exactly a heel move. It’s putting them on square footing and taking away the Samoans’ advantage. How is that a heel boss?

Van Dam says he’s at peace with HHH and Flair but isn’t impassionate despite his bad ribs.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Ric Flair

After some long entrances, HHH jumps Bubba from behind and gets backdropped for his efforts. The fans want tables but get Flair, who has no issues with Bubba, making this kind of pointless. Some shoulders put Flair down as JR thinks Ric is going through “the change of life”.

It’s right back to HHH as Bubba seems a bit hesitant to tag in the injured RVD. Bubba gets the better of a chop off with Flair before it’s off to Rob for a series of kicks. Rolling Thunder isn’t the best idea and HHH doesn’t stay down long enough to really validate the pain on the bad ribs. HHH gets in a belly to back suplex but the hot tag brings in Bubba a few seconds later.

The fans react like they’re watching an Orton match and only pick up a bit as Bubba hammers on Flair. House is quickly cleaned and Van Dam plays D-Von on What’s Up. It’s table time but HHH shoves Van Dam off the top. A throat snap across the top knocks Bubba into a Flair rollup (with tights) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was awkward with the wrestling not being great and the story being sort of all over the place. It’s clear that they’re setting up Bubba as the next challenger (which is likely only going to be short term) and I’m really not sure how that’s going to work. The story makes sense but I’m not sure if Bubba Ray Dudley is going to work in that role no matter what. Van Dam really does look like a one off challenger and that’s a really bad thing given how second rate he looked next to HHH.

Bubba saves Van Dam from a low blow and almost completely misses the table when powerbombing HHH. The champ hit the corner and the table didn’t even break, causing the crowd to go almost silent. Van Dam legdrops him through the table (makes sense due to the bad ribs) instead to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The bad times are here and that’s got me worried going forward. There was WAY too much 3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T. (a fine feud on its own but it was a lot of overkill here) and too many nothing matches (the opener, Orton and Hardy vs. Big Show) to fill out a two hour show. Cut out some of the filler (like the concert, which felt completely tacked on) and turn it into some better stories and the show will improve. As for now though, Raw is back to its normal horrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 20, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big show this week with a ton of things to get to. First of all, Brock Lesnar is scheduled to be in the house and that’s huge in general. Second, Bayley has been told to either give her title back to Charlotte or else, which could mean multiple things. Oh and Rock might be in town. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of George Steele. Not Ivan Koloff for some reason.

We open with a long recap of the Festival of Friendship and Kevin Owens turning on Chris Jericho. Sweet popcorn baked into a pie that was an amazing segment.

Owens is sitting in the ring in the dark in a chair to get things going. When he was growing up, if anyone had told him he would be defending the World Title against Goldberg in the main event of a pay per view, he would have thought you were crazy. Of course he’d be in the main event of a pay per view, but against Goldberg? The Goldberg chants start up and Owens thinks that’s exactly what he wanted to hear.

That’s the chant that makes Goldberg think he’s invincible as they head into their match at Fastlane. At the pay per view, all Owens has to do is outlast and outsmart Goldberg because the longer a Goldberg match goes, the weaker and weaker he gets. Owens is the master of outsmarting opponents and no one knows how to play the game like him.

Goldberg can say Owens is next all he wants but as far as Owens is concerned, Goldberg is nothing. As for what happened last week with Jericho….Owens drops the mic and walks out. This is the Owens that we’ve been waiting to see on the main roster for a long time and that’s nothing but good as we head into the final stretch to Wrestlemania. Owens was great here and that’s awesome to see.

Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

The winners get a title shot at Fastlane. Cass slugs it out with Cesaro to start before it’s off to Enzo, who is launched at Sheamus in the corner. Back from an early break with Enzo in trouble but backdropping Cesaro out to the floor. Sheamus gives chase though and Cesaro just blasts Amore with an uppercut to break up the hot tag attempt (Cue crowd reaction shot!). Cass comes in a few seconds later and everything breaks down. The corkscrew uppercut drops Cass but Enzo breaks up the swing. The East River Crossing ends Cesaro at 9:17.

Rating: C-. Can we please wrap up the Cesaro and Sheamus experiment already? They weren’t an interesting team in the first place and for some reason we’re still watching them do their thing. Then again, the tag division is pretty much four teams (if you count New Day) so it’s not like there’s any better option.

Post match Enzo runs his mouth and gets Brogue Kicked. That doesn’t feel exactly like a heel turn.

Owens is leaving when Mick Foley comes in to say he has a match with Sami Zayn tonight. Kevin chuckles and says he thought Foley liked Sami.

Video on Braun Strowman.

Video on Bayley winning the Women’s Title and fulfilling her lifelong dream. This sounds like the setup for a cruiserweight match.

Roman Reigns interrupts Foley and wants to fight Strowman tonight. Foley says that can’t happen but here are Anderson and Gallows to interrupt. They want to fight Reigns again tonight and Foley agrees if Roman can find a partner.

Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa

I would have expected a bit longer build to this one. Tozawa won’t shake hands so Kendrick hits him before the bell, including sending him neck/ear first into the turnbuckle hook. The Captain’s Hook knocks Tozawa out and there’s no match.

In the back, Kendrick says he won’t be disrespected like that.

Roman Reigns/??? vs. Anderson and Gallows

Non-title and Reigns’ partner is……not here as this is just going to be a handicap match. Anderson starts for the team but Roman drops them both to control early on. Gallows kicks him in the face though and it’s already off to the chinlock. The Boot of Doom is broken up and it turns into a double beating on the floor. A chair is brought in but Reigns takes it away and beats the champs down for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Another short match that makes me wonder what the point is in having the Tag Team Champions get treated like this. Is there NO ONE ELSE that can do the mini feud with Reigns? Like, no two big guys you could throw out there? It’s almost like having the divisions this divided has ruined a lot of things and gives us moments like this.

Post match Reigns Superman Punches Gallows and spears Anderson out of the air, sending the champs crawling away.

Video on New Day being announced as the hosts of Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal

Reigns couldn’t have beaten up Rusev and Mahal? Before the match, New Day says they’re working on a bunch of things right now, including being the hosts of Wrestlemania and trying to become the voices of the hyenas in the new Lion King movie (Kofi: “That’s not a joke.”).

On top of that, they’ve got the ice cream machine plans back and THEY’VE DIGITIZED THEM! Lana holds up a tablet and says she has the plans….which seem to be authentic. Apparently they include a flux capacitor, three unicorn hairs and New Day starts panicking. Woods: “HOW DID SHE GET THE PLANS?” Big E.: “You know she’s Russian right?”

The match is joined in progress with Rusev grabbing a bearhug on Kofi. It’s quickly off to Jinder, who can’t do a thing due to high levels of being Jinder Mahal. Big E. comes in and cleans house, including putting Rusev on the floor for a big dive. This lets Woods take the tablet back and completely destroy it for a big pop. The Midnight Hour puts Jinder away at 3:42.

Rating: D+. What in the world happened to Rusev? Like really, the guy should have been a big deal or at least feuded with Big Cass but now he’s jobbing in a nothing tag team? This really is a waste of someone who could have been something special and of course he still could be fine, but at the moment it’s a big waste of time. New Day is fine in this role as it’s not like they have anything else to do right now so let them have fun at Wrestlemania.

Video on George Steele.

Austin Aries is in the ring for the contract signing between Neville and Jack Gallagher. Since Gallagher is present, there are already cookies and tea prepared. Gallagher quickly signs before Neville can even come out. Neville does the same and immediately goes to leave, only to be stopped by Gallagher.

Neville mocks all of the British stereotypes and calls Gallagher a caricature. The real streets of England look like Neville but Gallagher is what the WWE Universe wanted Neville to be. Gallagher assures him that he is NOT a joke because this is the real thing. The table, including the tea is turned over and the fight is on with the headbutt sending Neville outside. Gallagher is one of my favorites at the moment but if they don’t do Neville vs. Aries for the title at Wrestlemania, they’ve lost their minds.

Nia Jax b. Sara Pierce

Splash and Samoan drop finish Pierce at 34 seconds.

Post match Nia says she’s putting Bayley and the title on notice.

Black History Month video on Barack Obama.

Here’s Bayley for her first appearance as Women’s Champion. She grew up here in California and had a dream of being a champion and getting to point at a Wrestlemania sign. When she was a kid, her dad brought her to the events and bought her all the shirts and toys. Last week, the first thing she did was call her dad and it’s a call she’ll never forget. Bayley’s dad is here tonight and the fans are making her look cool in front of her dad.

Cue Stephanie McMahon to ask if Bayley’s dream included everyone wondering if she could have done it without Sasha Banks. Stephanie’s daughters look up to her and she wants to know if Bayley is going to throw everything away for the sake of a championship that she didn’t earn. Bayley is about to hand it over when Sasha Banks comes out to say don’t do it. She thinks about it but says no way is she handing the title over. Bayley won the title because of the WWE Universe. The title belongs to all of them and she’ll defend it any time any place.

Cue Charlotte to say she’s cashing in her rematch at Fastlane. Sasha cuts her off and says Bayley will keep the title at the pay per view. As for tonight though, Sasha’s knee is feeling fine so let’s have a trip down memory lane. Stephanie makes the match right now because of course she gets to have the last word.

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Bayley is on commentary. Joined in progress again with Sasha grabbing a headscissors but getting her face driven into the match. Charlotte does the Figure Four faceplants and grabs a necklock. Sasha is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Charlotte grabbing a dragon sleeper. Sasha fights out and makes her comeback, including a dropkick in the corner. Cue Dana Brooke for a distraction but Bayley cuts her off, allowing the Banks Statement to make Charlotte tap at 10:03.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere with the long break in the middle but you can pretty much pencil in the four way at Wrestlemania from here. Sasha is going to make a great heel when she turns, even if you can see it coming a mile away. Oh and can we please drop the “renewal of a rivalry” when they last fought about two months ago? That’s rather pitiful.

Diamond Dallas Page Hall of Fame video. This is LONG overdue.

Sami Zayn knew Owens would do this kind of thing and he told us all it would happen. He sees a lot of similarities between Owens and Samoa Joe (insert your own Scott Steiner “HE’S FAT” joke here), including both of them doing all kinds of horrible things for the sake of some demented loyalty to someone else. Tonight, Sami is kicking Owens’ teeth down his throat.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

Non-title. Before the match, cue Samoa Joe to massacre Sam. For some reason he agrees to the match anyway and it’s a Cannonball to crush Zayn even worse. The referee pulls him off so it’s a second Cannonball and the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 1:11.

At 10:48pm, this show is dedicated to the memory of Ivan Koloff.

The bosses are in the back and Stephanie ribs on Foley for not coming out there during either the women’s segment or Samoa Joe beating Sami down. Foley FINALLY stands up for himself and blames Stephanie for Seth Rollins being injured. He was telling HHH and Stephanie how great Samoa Joe was twelve years ago and yells about how he’s not letting Stephanie’s greed get in the way of this show. Stephanie threatens him with an “accident” and Foley leaves.

Cole is in the back for a sitdown interview with Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. We get straight to the point with Goldberg but Heyman cuts Cole off and says Lesnar isn’t interested in questions like this one. Heyman says Lesnar isn’t interested in hearing about Goldberg winning the title so Lesnar scares Cole away and stares straight into the camera.

Paul talks about Owens attacking Jericho last week because Lesnar disagrees with Owens being the most violent champion in years. Lesnar isn’t interested in hearing about Owens but Heyman talks about Kevin’s greatness anyway. A lot of people want to see Owens pull it off but Lesnar disagrees because if Owens loses, it’s Goldberg vs. Lesnar for the title. That’s just one more thing for Lesnar to conquer at Wrestlemania and that’s what he wants to do.

The ring is reenforced for the main event.

Braun Strowman vs. Big Show

And yes, this really is the main event. Show grabs a wristlock to start but Braun rolls around and nips up to escape. Now that’s going to get him noticed. Show shoves him down but gets punched in the jaw and dropped for his efforts. Strowman charges into a choke but easily reverses into a DDT for two. A clothesline drops Show for two and it’s all Strowman so far.

Show reverses a suplex into one of his own and grabs the chokeslam for two. The powerslam doesn’t work so Show puts him on top for the superplex. Strowman escapes that but dives into the KO Punch for two. Show loads up the Vader Bomb, only to have Strowman get up for the powerslam (doesn’t look great) for two of his own. Not that it matters as Braun hits another powerslam for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C. Right here is a great example of a match that doesn’t need to be good to get the point across. Much like last week, this was about Strowman showing that he’s the new star instead of the old guard like Show or Mark Henry. It’s a very simple idea but they’re telling the right story, which is all you can ask for.

Post match Reigns comes out and gets in a few Superman Punches but Strowman hits the powerslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was an odd show as they advanced a lot of stories and set up a bunch of stuff for Fastlane but there’s nothing going on here that is worth going out of your way to see. Above all else though they’ve hit the switch and it’s clearly time to get ready for Wrestlemania. They’re taking things more seriously and you can see where a lot of the stories are going. I can’t believe I’m saying it but for once, I actually care about the Raw stories more than Smackdown. The show has been good lately and it’s at the perfect time.

Results

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Cesaro/Sheamus – East River Crossing to Cesaro

Anderson and Gallows b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns used a chair

New Day b. Rusev/Jinder Mahal – Midnight Hour to Mahal

Nia Jax b. Sara Pierce – Samoan drop

Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Bank Statement

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb

Braun Strowman b. Big Show – Powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 16, 2002
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means a lot more from HHH and his REALLY COOL SLEEPER. Yes HHH is currently trying to get the sleeper over as a finisher in 2002 and….well he’s probably not wondering why people are booing him because he probably doesn’t notice. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Stephanie McMahon marrying a Justice of the Peace until the Justice ripped his face off to turn into Eric Bischoff, who I guess became the new groom. 3 Minute Warning came in and destroyed the bride. Billy and Chuck are never mentioned.

Bischoff is sitting in the dark to start and says you might know him from shows like Raw and Smackdown. He brings out Rico as the newest member of the Raw roster and gives him a match against Ric Flair as a thank you for last week’s work. Also tonight, the Intercontinental Title and World Title will be on the line because this is the best wrestling show in the world.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH for the real opening speech. The champ laughs off the idea that he’s going to lose the title to Rob Van Dam because Van Dam got lucky with one single frog splash. HHH gets sick of the fans booing him but here’s Van Dam to interrupt. Rob talks about all the negative energy coming off HHH which is over all of the cool moves Van Dam does.

That earns Rob the big serious lecture about how HHH uses his anger to keep the World Title where it belongs. Rob is quite taken by the way HHH displays his abilities. No one can deny that HHH can spit some water at another level. HHH calls Rob an underachiever who isn’t going to amount to anything in this business and will never be a World Champion.

Van Dam doesn’t seem to mind because the fans keep chanting for him. HHH misses a swing and gets kicked to the floor to FINALLY wrap this up. This made Van Dam vs. HHH seem more like a joke than a pay per view title match and that’s not good for the first major defense of a new title.

The International Organization of Women is protesting this show.

Ric Flair vs. Rico

Flair trips him to the mat to start and drops the knee for two. A few headlocks have the sideburns all roughed up so he kicks Flair in the chest. Rico runs into the elbow in the corner though and tries to grab a chair, earning himself a suplex. Ric makes the mistake of kicking the chair to the floor and walks into a big spinning kick for the pin (ignore Flair’s hand being on the ropes) and the huge upset.

Rating: D+. Nothing to the match but this is EXACTLY the kind of thing they need to be doing: throw new talent against the wall and see what works. I doubt Rico is going to light the world on fire but it’s better than trotting out the same tired old acts and wondering why none of them work anymore.

Booker isn’t worried about facing Test tonight, even if it’s a French test. Yes he speaks French and promises to pass that test tonight.

The protesters get to the gate but get turned away.

Booker T. vs. Test

During the entrances we hear about Bradshaw tearing his bicep and being put out 4-6 months (it was six, plus three months in OVW). Test jumps him to start as we actually hear about the two of them being former Tag Team Champions. A side slam gets two on Booker and we hit the armbar.

Booker makes his comeback with chops and a very slow motion spinebuster but the ax kick misses. A missile dropkick connects for two and Test gets the same off a pumphandle slam, giving us one heck of a shocked face. Booker uses a hurricanrana of all things to take Test down, setting up the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: C-. Booker winning is the right call as his star continues to rise. Unfortunately it wasn’t the most technically sound match in the world as they looked a bit sloppy out there. Granted most of that is probably on Test whose whole thing was a big boot and pumphandle powerslam. Some of those near falls were good though.

Flair is depressed so here’s HHH (of course) to yell at him and call him pathetic. Ric yells back about how the title should be more important.

The protesters want to talk to Bischoff.

Tag Team Titles: Un-Americans vs. Dudley Boyz

Bubba and Spike are challenging. Storm headlocks Bubba to start as we’re already hearing about tables. A clothesline from the apron puts the champs in control….and Lance goes for a table. Of course it’s too early for that so Lance powerslams Spike for two instead. Some rib work keeps Spike in trouble until he grabs a headscissors. The referee doesn’t see the tag though (I love that spot) and it’s off to a chinlock.

Storm comes back in but eats a dropkick, allowing the hot tag to Bubba. Everything breaks down with Spike playing D-Von on What’s Up, only to have Bubba eat a superkick. The referee checks on him for no apparent reason, leaving Spike to take a double powerbomb through the table. Now the referee checks on Spike so there’s no count off a Bubba Bomb to Christian. With Bubba having to deal with Storm, Christian grabs a rollup to retain.

Rating: C. It was certainly eventful but that doesn’t mean it was the most interesting match in the world. The Un-Americans have hit their ceiling and it’s time for a popular team like Goldust and Booker to get the belts already. When I say “a team like” them, I mean only them as there’s no such thing as a division at this point.

Bischoff gives Chris Jericho the Intercontinental Title match. He’d also be happy to meet with the protesters because he has a few minutes free.

Spike is put on an ambulance when HHH comes up to smirk at Bubba.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Van Dam is defending and cuts off a running Jericho with a spinwheel kick. In your moment that tells you this show is scripted of the week, JR says that if Bischoff speaks to the protestors, the Women’s Title match is canceled. You know, because we couldn’t possibly have that happen in any other time slot and no two things can happen in the same time frame.

Jericho escapes a catapult but gets dropkicked out of the air for his troubles. The champ takes a bit too long going up top though and gets butterfly superplexed back down for no cover. Instead Jericho starts kicking away at the back, followed by a pair of backbreakers to make it even worse.

It’s off to a bow and arrow submission as Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth. Van Dam quickly escapes and gets two off Rolling Thunder. The stepover kick to the face looks to set up the Five Star but here’s HHH (fourth appearance tonight) so Rob dives onto him instead. The distraction lets Jericho grab the Walls and Rob actually taps to give Jericho the title.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t exactly a ton of heat on this one but it helps set up the pay per view and helps us avoid the almost always stupid champion vs. champion matchup. Van Dam tapping clean(ish) was very surprising but I’ll take it over another rollup or anything like that. Nothing great but at least it advanced the story.

Van Dam takes a Pedigree post match, just in case you thought the new champion should be the focus here.

The protesters get to wait in a room and one is clearly Stephanie in disguise.

Bischoff is going to meet the women but runs into a celebrating Jericho. Chris wants to avenge himself against Ric Flair so Bischoff makes an Intercontinental Title match for Sunday. Jericho is pleased.

William Regal is ready for Kane and has the Un-Americans on standby.

Video on Jeff Hardy.

Kane vs. William Regal

An Un-Americans distraction lets Regal get in a few cheap shots, including a series of forearms in the corner. Kane gets the side slam so Regal goes for the knuckles. Not that it matters as Test comes in to break up the chokeslam for the DQ.

Bubba Ray, Booker T. and Goldust make the post match save. A challenge is issued and accepted for an eight man tag on Sunday.

Bischoff is in the ring and calls the protesters down for a chat. They chant IOW (I’m assuming a National Organization for Women parody) and the spokeswoman complains about Bischoff exploiting women in a variety of ways, capped off by HLA. Now guess what the fans are chanting for. Bischoff thinks everyone in the ring with him is a lesbian and suggests some HLA right now.

That goes nowhere so the one who is clearly Stephanie in disguise reveals herself to be Stephanie in disguise (to be fair they did a decent job at not keeping the camera on her for too long but it was the obvious payoff) by kicking Bischoff low and talking trash. Billy and Chuck hit the ring for a modified Doomsday Device (as opposed to just punching and kicking him a lot) and fight off 3 Minute Warning as the announcers and fans have no idea who to cheer for.

I mean, I guess Bischoff is….or is it Steph…..I really have no idea. Billy and Chuck should be heels for faking the whole wedding and they were invading here but they were beating up the heel who might be a face because Raw and Smackdown apparently have their own sets of fans. It REALLY shouldn’t be this complicated but I’m sure at the end of the day we’re supposed to be cheering for Stephanie and company while forgetting the rest of the story all together.

Post match Bischoff is in pain and suggests an “intercontinental” match for Sunday between the two teams. If Billy and Chuck win, Bischoff will, ahem, kiss up to Stephanie in the middle of the ring. If 3 Minute Warning wins though, Stephanie has to perform HLA. In other words: it’s all about Bischoff and Stephanie, but more Stephanie of course.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. ???

HHH is defending against….someone who will be revealed in a minute as Van Dam comes out and jumps HHH, busting him open before the announcement. Security literally drags Rob away and it’s Jeff Hardy getting the title shot. At least Hardy is smart enough to go straight at the champ while he’s rocked. I wouldn’t have expected that from him.

The legdrop between the legs has HHH in trouble but he shoves Jeff outside to break the momentum. Back in and Jeff goes into the post but comes back with a Twist of Fate and Swanton, only to have HHH get his boot on the ropes. HHH grabs the sleeper to retain the title because he actually sees that as a main event finisher.

Rating: D+. This was just there and there was no drama in the whole thing. Hardy was in over his head and it was a waste of time to have the match wrapping up the show. Of course HHH had to have another segment though and that’s how the show gets to end. I was sick of seeing him about thirty minutes into the show but he gets to put Hardy to sleep after surviving his finisher. What a great guy.

Van Dam comes back for the Five Star to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was going along well enough but that Eric vs. Stephanie segment just crippled anything they had going. It’s forced, it doesn’t make sense and the wrestling is being built around some monsters vs. Billy and Chuck. Other than that there’s the rather uninteresting HHH vs. Van Dam feud which is the first title feud that fills in time with no chance for a title change but we get to sit through it anyway. At least Van Dam will get to put HHH over on Sunday though and that’s the important part.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 2017
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s a pretty stacked show this week as Bayley gets a shot at Charlotte’s Raw Women’s Title, Emmalina (allegedly) debuts and Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens have a Festival of Friendship. We’re getting closer to Fastlane and it’s time to really start setting up the pay per view card. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Chavo Guerrero Sr. It’s always nice to see them do something like that, even if it’s something minor.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a dancing Stephanie (so she’s good this week) to welcome us to the show. She’s given Mick Foley the night off tonight and hopes he’ll have his head on straight next week. Stephanie is in charge this week though but here’s Roman Reigns to cut her off. Reigns wants to fight Braun Strowman right here tonight and the fans seem to agree. Stephanie doesn’t though and threatens Reigns with the loss of his match against Strowman if he does anything tonight.

Anderson and Gallows of all people interrupt and say they’re tired of hearing Stephanie disrespected like this. That means a handicap match tonight with Stephanie doing a bad Teddy Long impression to set it up. Anderson and Gallows get punched in the face to start it off.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Roman Reigns

This is joined in progress after a break with Reigns and Gallows slugging it out. The champs quickly take over and Anderson grabs a chinlock to fill in some time. Reigns fights up and starts throwing bombs, only to get caught by a cheap shot from the apron. Anderson and Gallows start stomping away and that’s a DQ at 3:09.

Rating: D+. As pointless of a match as this was, at least they didn’t have the champs do a clean job. It’s certainly better than sitting through them facing Sheamus and Cesaro again and a DQ doesn’t do them any noteworthy damage. Reigns looked fine here and the Superman Punch for a comeback is always going to work.

Reigns clears the champs off without too much trouble.

Quick video on the history of the List of Jericho.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Kofi asks if Dallas is trying to be a Social Outcast. Big E. on the other hand has a folder labeled Ice Cream Blueprints because New Day is making an ice cream machine. That starts a WE WANT ICE CREAM chant as Kofi dropkicks Dallas to the floor. Dallas gets into the dancing and RIPS UP THE FOLDER. New Day is aghast so Kofi hits a huge flip dive to take him down. Bo gets two off an elevated swinging neckbreaker but gets caught in the SOS for the pin at 2:13.

Dallas is covered in cereal after the match.

Neville is ready for a match tomorrow night when Jack Gallagher comes in. Jack starts to quote some Shakespeare but Neville cuts him off for not being a man. We’ll find that out at Fastlane but for now, Jack calls him a pillock.

Video on Jericho helping Owens retain the title over Seth Rollins.

Noam Dar vs. Jack Gallagher

Alicia Fox is in Dar’s corner and Graves thinks she’s staring at Gallagher. Dar can’t keep Jack in a leglock as we get some snappy British spinning for an escape. A hard kick to the knee softens the knee up a bit better but Dar switches over to the arm. Gallagher doesn’t care for the switch in psychology so it’s the headbutt into the running dropkick for the pin on Noam at 3:15.

Rating: C-. I could watch Gallagher every week and Dar is getting better and better but this didn’t have the time to go anywhere. Gallagher winning is the only option and he’s looking pretty strong going into what should be a one off title match. Hopefully there’s nothing to the Fox/Gallagher stuff as it doesn’t sound all that interesting.

Neville comes out for the staredown.

HHH and Samoa Joe arrive.

Here’s Emmalina in a rather shiny dress. She talks about the wait and says she’s finally here. Now we’ll see the makeover from Emmalina to Emma….and that’s it. She was on screen for less than a minute.

Bayley is in the same place where Lita won her first Women’s Title from Stephanie McMahon, who doesn’t think anything of her. Tonight though, Bayley is hitting the jackpot.

Jericho and Owens are getting ready when HHH comes in to take Owens away.

Mark Henry vs. Braun Strowman

They do the big power lockup to start and neither goes anywhere. The referee backs Henry up so Strowman gets in a cheap shot to take over. Strowman drops a leg and grabs a chinlock to keep thing slow. The forearm to the chest is broken up but Henry can’t hit the World’s Strongest Slam. Braun actually hits a dropkick followed by the powerslam for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: C. You know, I didn’t mind this. It’s a good example of consider what they were going for here. The idea was to showcase Strowman as the new strongman and while that’s been done over and over, they did everything exactly as they should have here and I got the idea exactly. Well done here, which I never would have expected to say.

Post match Reigns comes out for the fight and knocks Strowman down with two Superman Punches. The spear is countered into the powerslam though and Reigns is laid out.

We look at Jericho helping Owens against Reigns.

Cesaro and Sheamus are firing Bayley up when Enzo and Big Cass come in. Trash is talked and it seems that we’ll be seeing Cass vs. Cesaro later.

Michael Cole has a sitdown interview with Samoa Joe, who says he’s working for HHH, who gave him his first shot at the big time. HHH has given more people opportunities than anyone else and Joe has spent eighteen years mowing everyone down to get here. Joe doesn’t want to hear about HHH any more because this interview is about him. He’s not some guy like Sami Zayn who is just happy to be here. Cole brings up all the people HHH has given opportunities to and then turned on them (including Shawn Michaels) but Joe says that’s not happening because he doesn’t need HHH. The Destroyer has been unleashed.

WOW this was great. Joe looked like one of the most natural stars ever here and a lot of that is likely because that’s the Samoa Joe character who has been around for a long time. I could go for Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn (assuming Zayn isn’t facing Jericho again) and as soon as Joe can strike out on his own and not be another HHH project, he’ll be in the main event in about five seconds. Finally: BAHAHAHAHAHA TNA SCREWS UP AGAIN!!! They had this guy and decided that he needed to put over Sting instead of keeping the World Title. That’s freaking hilarious.

Sami Zayn vs. Rusev

Sami backs away from a kick to the head to start but gets taken to the mat. The fans want Lana but have to settle for Sami fighting out of a headlock and chopping away. Sami knocks him outside for the big flip dive but Rusev just blasts him with a kick to the head to take us to a break. Back with Rusev grabbing a bearhug and throwing Sami off a fall away slam. Sami finally avoids a charge in the corner and they head outside, only to have Rusev blast him with a clothesline. As they get back in though, Sami scores with the Helluva Kick, his only major move of the match, for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C+. I can go for the idea of Sami getting the heck beaten out of him and then coming back for the pin with his finisher. It worked for Randy Savage back in the day and it’s going to work for someone like Sami, who is one of the best underdogs ever. If it gets us to Joe vs. Sami, so be it.

Post match Sami says he never gives up or sells out like Samoa Joe, so here’s Joe to jump him. The beating begins and Sami gets choked out.

Teddy Long Hall of Fame video.

Ariya Daivari vs. Akira Tozawa

Brian Kendrick is on commentary and takes credit for the indy movement in WWE. They slug it out to start with Daivari looking freaked out by Tozawa’s shouting. A kick to the chest and a backsplash get two but Tozawa misses a charge into the corner. Daivari drops a knee and grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so some fast kicks (with fast camera cuts) drop Daivari setting up the snap German suplex to give Tozawa the pin at 3:11.

Rating: C. The shouting got a bit annoying but the idea of Kendrick claiming to be the mentor while Tozawa never acknowledges it is intriguing. I don’t know if it’s going to go anywhere of note but 205 Live is the land of simple stories being done well so maybe they can pull something off. Anything that involves Kendrick taking a beating is a good thing at least.

Jericho introduces the Festival of Friendship and that means a bunch of showgirls coming out to welcome him to the ring. Jericho is in a shiny hat and jacket but Owens looks downright confused. There’s a bunch of covered stuff set up in the ring and Jericho promises a bunch of gifts.

First up: a sculpture of what looks like two people intertwined. Owens: “What is it?” Apparently it cost $7,000 and while Owens wants to call it stupid, he calls it a steal. Next is a painting of Jericho and Owens’ fingers touching ala the Michelangelo painting. Jericho thinks it belongs over Owens’ mantle. Owens: “Chris I have two kids and you’re not wearing pants!” Jericho: “It’s art! You don’t need pants!”

Finally, Jericho has a magician named Friendship who does some basic tricks (I’m a sucker for magic so this is the highlight so far). Owens says he has a nine year old son with a magic kit and he can do the same trick. Jericho agrees on the bad performance so Friendship the Magician JUST MADE THE LIST! After admitting that he found the magician on Craigslist, Jericho says this is just the beginning.

The real present is calling out Goldberg, who is going to get……we go to and come back from a commercial break……IT! We get the music but it’s Gillberg, who Owens promptly destroys. He’s not happy though and wants to know what Jericho is thinking. Jericho says he did this for his best friend and promises that Owens will retain the title at Fastlane.

Owens smiles and says he has a gift for Jericho too. It’s a NEW LIST….but Jericho’s name is on it! Jericho pulls it out of the box and it’s the LIST OF KO! Owens jumps Jericho and destroys him with the apron powerbomb. Jericho is sent into a big sign in the ring, leaving Owens to be showered in boos.

This was EXCELLENT and you could tell the crowd completely bought into the whole thing. The key here is simple: Jericho was doing something nice for his friend and Owens turned on him anyway. It makes Owens out to be a jerk while Jericho was a nice guy who was on the wrong side. That creates sympathy for Jericho and will make his face turn feel much more natural. Of course a lot of the heat goes away if Goldberg takes the title (though Jericho costing Owens would be nice) but Lesnar vs. Goldberg just couldn’t get over on its own.

A bloody Jericho is stretchered out.

Cesaro vs. Enzo Amore

Before Cesaro comes out, Enzo accuses him of being a James Bond villain. Cesaro uppercuts the heck out of him to start and there’s the gutwrench suplex. Back in and Enzo grabs the middle rope DDT, only to eat Swiss Death for the pin at 2:43.

Black History Month video on Rosa Parks.

Charlotte yells at Sasha Banks for being injured.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and they start slowly here with the champ working on the arm. Bayley does the same with some armdrags but Charlotte slaps her in the face. That just earns her an even harder slap to put Charlotte outside as we take a break. Back with Bayley Hulking Up until Charlotte whipping the back of Bayley’s head into the bottom rope.

A jawbreaker gets Bayley out of trouble but the neckbreaker into a choke has her right back in said trouble. The Ric Flair kneedrop sets up a dragon sleeper but Bayley climbs the corner to flip out. Another big boot stomps Bayley though and the pace slows right back down. A moonsault off the barricade makes Bayley’s neck even worse as Charlotte is beating the heck out of her.

Back inside and it’s time for another comeback with some hard chops and the middle rope elbow for two. Bayley goes one step higher with a top rope elbow for two more, followed by a top rope hurricanrana for the same. The fans are WAY into this and it’s not hard to see why. Bayley grabs a modified Figure Four but here’s Dana Brooke to rake the eyes for the save. Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but here’s Sasha to hit Dana with the crutch. Charlotte takes a shot of her own to break it up and the Bayley to Belly gives Bayley the title at 18:03.

Rating: B+. The good storytelling continues here as they set up the underdog story so well. You can even forgive the interference as Sasha was only evening things up. I wouldn’t have changed the title here but after that Festival of Friendship, the fans needed something to bring them back to life and this is about as good as it’s going to get. Of course none of this matters if Charlotte walks out of Wrestlemania (yes Wrestlemania) as champion again but it’s a nice moment here. I’m sure I’ll have more on this one later but the match was much stronger than I was expecting.

A big celebrating ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this WAY more than I expected to and the big reason might be the match length. Save for Sami vs. Rusev (which had a commercial), nothing broke ten minutes until the main event. One of Raw’s biggest problems is the show feeling like it takes forever, which is often due to some very long matches that aren’t very good in the first place and are clearly there to fill in time. I never felt that way this week and it made for a MUCH more entertaining show.

As odd as it seems, Raw is looking a lot hotter than Smackdown at the moment with Owens looking like a monster heel, Jericho ready for the big (albeit short) face run and the women doing their usual thing. There are still problems but it’s looking good at the moment, which I never would have said even a week ago.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Anderson and Gallows via DQ when both attacked Reigns at once

Kofi Kingston b. Bo Dallas – SOS

Jack Gallagher b. Noam Dar – Running corner dropkick

Braun Strowman b. Mark Henry – Powerslam

Sami Zayn b. Rusev – Helluva Kick

Akira Tozawa b. Ariya Daivari – German suplex

Cesaro b. Enzo Amore – Pop up uppercut

Bayley b. Charlotte – Bayley to Belly

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 2002
Location: Hilton Coliseum, Ames, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So there’s a new World Champion and that means we get to hear about how amazing HHH really is. That’s been the case around here for a long time but you can feel it cranking into a much higher level around this point. We’re a few weeks away from Unforgiven and the only match that seems to be coming up is HHH vs. Rob Van Dam for the title. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Un-Americans vs. Kane/Bradshaw

Lance Storm and Christian are defending after another failed flag burning last week. After the standard AMERICA ROCKS speech from Bradshaw, the brawl is on in a hurry. Bradshaw shoulders Storm all the way out to the floor and it’s off to Kane for some right hands of his own. Christian comes in and takes just as much of a beating as this is one sided, just as it probably should be to start.

Kane’s side slam gets two on Christian but a Canadian crotching against the post lets the champs take over for the first time. Ah so it’s one of those matches where low blows work on Kane. You never know how that’s going to work. The fans think Canada sucks (racists) but a hot tag to Bradshaw makes them a bit happier.

House is cleaned with one heck of a powerbomb on Christian and Kane’s top rope clothesline to Storm. The ref gets bumped though and here’s Test with the big boot to Kane. Bradshaw makes the save but William Regal comes in to knock him out with the Power of the Punch, giving Christian the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This was better than it had any right to be but the ending really dragged it down a bit. They didn’t need to have new champions here but just have Regal or Test instead of both of them. I was surprised by the action here though and that’s how Raw should start: a fun match instead of a long talking segment.

Speaking of a talking segment, here’s Eric Bischoff to announce a four way for the #1 contendership with Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho. That brings us to Smackdown and Stephanie (you knew that was coming) with this week’s commitment ceremony getting publicity in the New York Times, the New York Post and ESPN. Bischoff has his own idea though: HLA, Hot Lesbian Action. As my head hurts, I can kind of appreciate them for not hiding what they’re going for. They’re just flat out admitting that the women are sex objects, which I can take over a horrible attempt at “wrestling”.

Chris Jericho eats an apple and says he has a plan to get the World Title back. This means apple being spit on Terri.

HHH doesn’t care who he faces for the title at the pay per view. Cue Bubba Ray Dudley to accuse HHH of being a coward and can’t wait to see HHH vs. Spike Dudley tonight. Steven Richards, Bubba’s opponent for tonight, jumps him from behind as I wonder why Bubba is the one getting this push.

Terri and Trish Stratus walk past the lesbians’ dressing room, which has an actual “LESBIANS” sign on the door. They’re not exactly subtle here.

Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Steven Richards

Bubba charges down the ramp to jump him from behind and it’s time for some early elbow drops. The fans want tables as Lawler plays Who’s The Lesbian. Richards comes back with a forearm and a swinging neckbreaker, only to have Bubba hit a surprisingly good looking sunset flip for two of his own. The Flip, Flop and Fly actually gets Jerry’s mind off the lesbians for a change but Richards gets two off a superkick (and a very strong pop). Steven breaks up a super Bubba Bomb but can’t get out of a super sitout powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a bit more energetic than I was expecting and that finish looked great. That being said, I’m not sure I can get behind the idea of a Bubba vs. HHH match. I know they’re building Bubba up fairly well but that doesn’t mean I want to see him have some long match way above his talent range. Just stop doing things that you aren’t ready to pull off, like separate titles.

Victoria/Stacy Keibler vs. Terri/Trish Stratus

Stacy, in black shorts and a matching tied off top, sends Lawler even further over the edge. Terri and Stacy catfight to the floor and it’s time for a lot of slapping. Lawler: “Oh they like it rough.” Victoria and Terri (oh dear) start things off with Terri getting slammed for an elbow drop. Stacy does her long legged choke in the corner as Lawler has binoculars. JR has just about had it here and I can’t say I blame him.

Terri slips out of an over the shoulder backbreaker and some heel miscommunication goes nowhere because Terri isn’t smart enough to make a hot tag. Thankfully it’s off to Trish thanks to a missed moonsault so we actually get a little wrestling. It’s back to Stacy for the awkward looking kicks but Trish easily knocks them both silly. Terri hits a high crossbody to put Stacy away.

Rating: D-. What exactly is there to say here? The wrestling only existed when Trish and Victoria were in there, which of course was the smallest percentage of the match. I can’t stand this nonsense and it’s not fair to people who have the ability to work a decent match. Why do we need Stacy and Terri in there other than for eye candy? I mean…..I just answered my own question.

Jerry is disappointed in the lack of HLA and you can hear JR getting more and more annoyed.

Regal dumps Christopher Nowinski to join the Un-Americans. Chris talks about HLA and Regal slaps him in the face because Chris is an embarrassment. Preach it brother.

Here’s Nowinski with something to say, including a few jabs at Iowa State’s football team. Back at Harvard they have a chant: “Five, ten, fifteen bucks. We’ll own the company, you’ll drive the trucks.” Cue Tommy Dreamer with offers of Singapore cane shots, triggering a brawl with Dreamer getting the better of it. Nothing to see here though Nowinski was kind of funny.

Spike runs into the Lesbians and really doesn’t care. Again I say, preach it brother.

HHH vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title. Spike wants nothing to do with a handshake and it’s time to fight over wrist control. A rollup annoys HHH so he slaps Spike in the face. Spike slaps him right back so Lawler calls him a pervert. Those running forearms drop HHH as you can feel the attempts at HHH vs. Taka Michinoku from 2000.

Back in and Spike charges into a boot, followed by a few backbreakers. The third is countered into a headscissors though and Spike hits a dive to the floor. Back in again and HHH clotheslines him out of the air with Lawler blaming thoughts of hot lesbian action for Spike’s issues. The Pedigree gets no cover so Spike gets in a low blow, followed by the Dudley Dog for two. Another Dudley Dog is blocked though and HHH grabs a sleeper of all things for the win, drawing a weird face pop in the process.

Rating: D+. They tried here but there’s only so much that can be done with Spike Dudley vs. the World Champion. On top of that, what in the world was the point in finishing with a sleeper? Are we really supposed to buy the idea of a sleeper as a main event finisher? I know HHH fancies himself as a huge old school style star but come on now.

HHH keeps stomping until Bubba comes out for the save.

Jeff Hardy is talking about his main event tonight when he sees Bischoff and goes to yell about next week. Why Jeff just suddenly saw him when it looks like Bischoff has been standing there for awhile and Jeff was looking in the same direction the whole time isn’t clear. Jeff threatens violence if there’s another 3 Minute Warning.

Chris Jericho offers Big Show a deal and leaves. Johnny the Bull of all people comes in and hears about Jericho’s offer of an alliance, complete with the statistics to go with it. Johnny thinks it’s a good idea and gets thrown into a chair.

Booker is ready to face the Un-Americans tonight when Goldust comes up wearing a Kane mask. Of course the real Kane comes up and comedy ensues. Since it’s Booker and Goldust though, it’s actually funny. Bradshaw comes up and tells them to go beat up the Un-Americans, but first let’s watch the HLA. Goldust is aghast but Kane says he’ll go.

Booker T./Goldust vs. William Regal/Test

Test knocks Booker into the corner to start so it’s off to Goldust for a hip attack on Regal. That’s about it for the offense as Test stomps Goldust down in the corner before Regal adds in a few knee shots to the head. Goldust’s clothesline allows the hot tag off to Booker for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Regal gets in the Power of the Punch, only to have Kane and Bradshaw come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but I’m sure the fans will have fun chanting USA for most of the time. Despite not being the strongest team in the world, the Un-Americans will be fine enough for a midcard act for the next few months. I’m not sure if Bradshaw and Kane are the best options for opponents but at least we’re getting some entertaining promos.

It’s HLA time with Bischoff moderating. Bad acting ensues, there’s a bit of stripping and a kiss before 3 Minute Warning comes in for the obvious finish. So to clarify: Bischoff teasing us with HLA is a heel move but Stephanie not delivering a fake gay wedding is going to make her the big face. That’s how WWE works here and it’s really rather confusing.

Ric Flair gives Rob Van Dam a pep talk.

Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and under elimination rules. Show beats on Van Dam in the corner to start while Jeff is backdropped to the floor. Poetry in Motion fails completely and Show tosses Van Dam down as well. Back in and Rob teams up with Jeff to put Show down but the Swanton only gets two.

Rolling Thunder gets the same with Rob being launched onto the referee. Jericho cleans house with a chair but Show takes it away and Jericho teases getting hit….for a DQ. You mean Big Show can’t take a Swanton for a pin in a nothing four way elimination match and has to get disqualified instead? Seriously?

We take a break and come back with Van Dam diving onto Jericho, followed by Hardy running the barricade for the double clothesline. A double springboard moonsault gets two on Chris and a double superplex makes it even worse for him. The good guys follow it up with a double springboard leg lariat to put Chris outside. With the Canadian gone, Van Dam DDT’s Jeff for two but Jericho breaks up the Swanton and steals the pin.

Van Dam is right back up with a spinning kick to Jericho’s face but he gets caught in one heck of a release German suplex. Back up and Jericho posts himself in the corner but manages to remove a turnbuckle pad. Rolling Thunder hits knees to give Chris two more and the Lionsault is good for yet another near fall. Cue HHH to watch as Van Dam sends Chris into the buckle and drops the Five Star to go to Unforgiven.

Rating: B. It’s like Wrestlemania XVI all over again: once you get rid of Big Show, the match gets a lot better in a hurry. The key thing here is Van Dam winning as he was supposed to and getting the pin for the final victory. It makes him look like a bigger deal because just being the Intercontinental Champion doesn’t mean much around here. I mean, was his title pulled out of a briefcase just a week ago?

Overall Rating: D+. While the main event is good, it’s not enough to pull a lot of this show up out of the muck. As usual, the biggest problem around here is the one joke dominating the whole thing. That HLA segment was as pandering as you could get and that’s not the way I like my wrestling shows. There’s some good stuff here but the big problems are too much for it to overcome.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 2017
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s that time of the year when just talking about a match in about two months is a big deal. In this case that means Goldberg is back to answer Brock Lesnar’s challenge for a match at Wrestlemania XXXIII, which is likely main eventing the show in April. Other than that we might get a few more details about what’s coming up in about a month at Fastlane. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH’s speech from last week about how tired he is of Seth Rollins not doing what he wanted Rollins to do. HHH blames this whole thing on Rollins getting hurt (the first time).

Stephanie McMahon and an unhappy Mick Foley are in the ring to start with Foley bringing out Samoa Joe, much to his annoyance. Joe hasn’t signed his Raw contract yet but first of all we need Stephanie to yell at Mick for not doing his job (whatever that means here). Foley doesn’t want to sign Joe, who goes on a rant about how there is nothing Foley can do to stop him.

For eighteen years Joe has been trying to get here and if one man giving him a shot means he has to hurt Rollins, so be it. Joe signs and here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Roman gets in Joe’s face and says that if Joe is putting Raw on notice, that means he’s putting Roman on notice. Foley immediately makes the match for tonight.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bayley goes right after her to start and literally bounces off the monster. That means it’s time for the slow beating to begin, including a hard slam and a lot of shouting. Nia misses a charge into the corner though and Bayley fires off some forearms, only to get sent even harder into the corner to send us to a break.

Back with Bayley fighting out of a waistlock and forearming Nia in the jaw. Another beal into the corner sets up a running splash though and Nia mocks Bayley’s dancing. Nia turns her inside out with a clothesline but misses a charge into the post. Bayley sends her in again but here’s Charlotte for a distraction, allowing Nia to Samoan drop Bayley for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C. I know they’re doing a very similar formula to what worked for Bayley down in NXT but that’s not going to work in such an abbreviated form, especially with so much else to focus on. Bayley hasn’t quite clicked on Raw yet but you know she’s going to get the title at some point. The question is when that’s going to be the case.

Braun Strowman vs. ???/???/???/???

It’s back to the old formula here as Strowman runs over everyone in sight, sending one of the four running up the ramp. The running powerslam plants one of them and the other two are piled on top for the pin at 1:54.

Strowman tells Foley this isn’t competition and heads to the back to find the boss. In the back, Strowman says he wants everyone so Foley gives him a match with Reigns at Fastlane.

Video on Akira Tozawa.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

The announcers make sure to plug Tozawa’s resume so it’s clear he’s going to be a big deal. Some early strikes have Gulak in trouble and a backsplash (WAY too popular anymore) gets two. Gulak’s comeback goes nowhere as Tozawa kicks him to the floor for a suicide dive. A Shining Wizard sets up the snap German suplex to end Gulak at 3:40.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but it made Tozawa look like the killer he needs to be. This could be a hint that Tozawa is going to be one of the next challengers for Neville’s Cruiserweight Title and I’ve heard far worse ideas. The cruiserweights are starting to come together and that’s a good thing all around, especially if it gives us something like Tozawa vs. Neville. Gulak is fine as a punching bag but PLEASE don’t try to make him any kind of a focal point.

Post match Brian Kendrick comes out to shake Tozawa’s hand.

Here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho with something to say. Owens brags about retaining the Universal Title but Jericho had something more important to get to. Last night someone won a little game and that means they’ve been calling themselves the G.O.A.T. No one steals Jericho’s name so Tom Brady JUST MADE THE LIST.

With that out of the way, Jericho wants to talk about a champion vs. champion match at Wrestlemania when he challenges Owens for the Universal Title. Owens doesn’t know if he can do that but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg gets straight to the point and accepts the match with Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Kevin likes this idea because Goldberg vs. Lesnar could be a great undercard match for KO Mania II.

That’s not quite what Goldberg meant though because Owens doesn’t have anything for Fastlane. Therefore, maybe Goldberg should get the next shot at the Universal Title. Jericho interrupts and threatens Goldberg with a spot on the list but Goldberg puts himself on it. That makes Jericho accepts the shot for Owens, who certainly isn’t pleased.

In theory this sets up Owens vs. Jericho, but at the same time it also likely means Goldberg gets the title. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he squashes Owens either, which is another great salute to someone who has spent months being awesome, only to get taken down by someone who doesn’t need the title for their Wrestlemania match.

Post break Owens isn’t happy with Jericho but Chris says he always has Kevin’s back. That’s not enough though because having his back doesn’t mean making matches for the Universal Title.

Tag Team Titles; Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Gallows and Anderson

Gallows and Anderson are defending with Enzo and Big Cass watching at ringside. Sheamus takes over on Anderson to start before Cesaro comes in with an ax handle to the shoulder. A Regal Roll into a double stomp from Cesaro gets two so the champs regroup on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting back and getting two off a top rope clothesline. The assisted Irish Curse gets two on Anderson but Gallows kicks Enzo in the face, drawing Cass in for the DQ at 9:00.

Rating: C-. THAT MEANS THIS FEUD GETS TO CONTINUE! WHY IS THIS FEUD CONTINUING??? I’m so sick of these teams fighting as there’s just no chemistry or charisma anywhere to be found. Maybe Enzo and Cass being added in could help things out a bit but sweet goodness this isn’t interesting so far. Fix this up already because it’s killing any show they’re on.

Black History Month video on Jackie Robinson.

We look back at Rollins being attacked last week. Rollins has a torn MCL and his Wrestlemania status is “very much in doubt”.

New Day vs. Shining Stars

Before the match, Kofi wants to know who has actually been to the Shining Stars Resort. That would be no one, because it’s not real. New Day gives people what they want, including magic, music (via Francesca II: Turbo) and cereal. Big E.: “What else can we give them? ICE CREAM???”

This is joined in progress after a break with Woods hitting a splash for two on Primo until an enziguri knocks Xavier into a Russian legsweep. We hit the chinlock for a long while, followed by a top wristlock for a change of pace. Woods fights back and gets in a missile dropkick, allowing the hot tag off to Big E. Everything breaks down and New Day cleans house, setting up the Midnight Hour for the pin at Primo at 5:48.

Rating: C. I’ve seen far worse six minute tag matches and that’s fine for a way to fill in some time on a show like this. New Day hasn’t done much of value since the title loss and I’d love to see them go somewhere. Unfortunately I’m not sure what there is for them to do other than go after singles gold.

Goldberg vs. Owens is official for Fastlane.

Jericho doesn’t think Sami Zayn can defeat him two weeks in a row. Kevin comes in to say he’ll have Jericho’s back.

The Rock N Roll Express are official for the Hall of Fame.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is challenging and Owens is at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Sami grabbing a rollup for two which sends Jericho out to the floor. Back in and Sami’s high crossbody gets two on the champ but it’s way too early for the Helluva Kick. Instead Jericho bails to the floor, meaning it’s time for a big flip dive to put Chris down.

We come back from a break with Jericho getting his head taken off with a clothesline. Another Helluva Kick attempt is countered into the Walls but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. One day that’s going to win a match and the roof is going to come off the place. Sami’s tornado DDT is countered into the Walls but he’s right in front of the ropes. Owens throws in a superkick though and the Codebreaker retains the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was fine though I’m glad Sami didn’t win the title. He needs to get one someday but at the moment, this was the right way to keep things going. Eventually they can pull the trigger and set up Owens vs. Jericho but they’ll probably wait until after Fastlane, which isn’t the worst idea in the world.

We look at Goldberg challenging Owens earlier tonight.

Sasha Banks is getting her knee looked at when Charlotte comes in to mock her for not even having her health. Charlotte promises to keep a seat open for Banks next week when her best friend gets a shot at the title.

Austin Aries is in the ring for an interview with Neville. With Rich Swann out with an injury, it’s time for a new #1 contender to be crowned. As luck would have it, there’s going to be a five way elimination match between Jack Gallagher, Noam Dar, Cedric Alexander, Tony Nese and TJ Perkins in a five way elimination match for the #1 contendership. Neville doesn’t care who he faces so here are all five challengers to interrupt each other while saying they’ll win. A big brawl breaks out with Neville being the last man standing, mainly because he’s one of the only ones who didn’t try a big dive.

Emmalina debuts next week.

Neville/Noam Dar/Tony Nese vs. Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins

Joined in progress as we come back with Gallagher taking a snap suplex from Neville. Nese grabs a front facelock but has to stop for the sake of forearming Perkins and Alexander off the apron. Gallagher gets in a headbutt to put Nese down so Neville demands Dar allow him to take the tag. Apparently Dar isn’t the best listener though as he tags himself in, only to have the also tagged Perkins dropkick him in the face. Neville won’t have any more of this and walks out on his partners, leaving Nese to take the Detonation Kick. A Lumbar Check puts Dar away at 5:05.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it did a decent enough job of setting up tomorrow’s five way. There should be some good action there and that’s what we got here as well. I’m still digging the heck out of Neville with his logical actions as he has no reason to stick around when someone isn’t going to listen to the King’s orders.

Jericho pitches an idea for next week: the Festival of Friendship. Owens is skeptical but goes along with it.

We look at Reigns and Samoa Joe from earlier.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Cole says this is a new Chamber but doesn’t elaborate. What sloppy journalism.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Joe jumps Reigns before the bell and Reigns is in trouble as we take a break with no bell. Back with the bell ringing and Reigns taking it to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Joe comes right back with an enziguri and pops Reigns in the jaw with an elbow. A slugout goes to Joe and he drops the backsplash for two more.

You’re not about to keep Reigns in trouble for that long though as he comes back with a Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is loaded up but Joe is smart enough to roll outside. That earns him the apron dropkick and a Superman Punch but here’s Strowman for a distraction. Joe gets back up and hits a Rock Bottom for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C+. That’s the smart ending as you want to make Joe look strong in his debut but you also keep Reigns protected at the same time. The match was little more than a power brawl but that’s what both guys do best. The Strowman distraction was the right call and the match at Fastlane could be interesting as well.

Post match Strowman cleans house and powerslams Reigns through the barricade to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this better than most shows because, for once, it wasn’t so much about the in ring product. Sometimes it gets annoying to have long matches for the sake of having long matches but this week was more about setting up stuff for the future, especially Fastlane. The wrestling was perfectly acceptable this week but the important part was knocking out a bunch of stuff that they need to get done with a month before the next pay per view. Totally fine show this week and a nice upgrade over recent weeks if memory serves me right.

Results

Nia Jax b. Bayley – Samoan drop

Braun Strowman b. ???/???/???/??? – Running powerslam

Akira Tozawa b. Drew Gulak – German suplex

Anderson and Gallows b. Sheamus/Cesaro via DQ when Big Cass interfered

New Day b. Shining Stars – Midnight Hour to Primo

Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn – Codebreaker

Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins b. Tony Nese/Noam Dar/Neville – Lumber Check to Dar

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns – Rock Bottom

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 750
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re less than two weeks away from King of the Ring and it would be nice to have them actually plug more than one of the first round matches for a change. Other than that we have Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Title coming up but since Hogan can’t be bothered showing up, there’s only so much they can do to set things up. Let’s get to it.

It’s Memorial Day so Jim Duggan welcomes us with a USA chant for all the fallen soldiers.

Opening sequence.

The announcers hype the show a bit and promise a catfight between Luna Vachon and Sensational Sherri.

Intercontinental Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Marty Jannetty

Marty is defending and has Sherri in his corner for a story that almost no one remembers. Bigelow has to break up a battle of the women to start and Marty gets pounded for not paying attention. Serves him right. Marty has to fight out of the corner and lands on his feet to counter a backdrop. We hit the bearhug though and things slow down all over again. Marty comes back with either a middle rope knee to the back of the head or a middle rope headscissors which was partially botched.

We take a break (kind of an awkward place for one) and come back with Jannetty caught in a chinlock. Marty fights up and gets two off a middle rope clothesline but Bigelow shrugs off the jumping back elbow. With nothing else working, Marty tries a front facelock, earning himself that hard slam from Bigelow. A double underhook powerbomb into a backbreaker looks to set up the flying headbutt, only to have Sherri grab Bigelow’s foot. Marty kicks him to the floor for a plancha, setting up the countout to retain.

Rating: C+. Jannetty is a lot better in the ring than he’s given credit for and if he was able to stay clean for more than probably eight days in a row, I’m sure he would have been a bigger deal. It’s not like he was that far behind the other midcard acts of his day. Couldn’t you picture him around the same level as say, Jeff Jarrett?

Bigelow crushes Marty’s ribs before leaving.

Back from a break and Sherri calls Luna out for a fight. Luna comes out and takes a quick beating but Bigelow comes out to make things a bit less even. Tatanka runs out for the save. Wouldn’t Jim Duggan make more sense as he’s facing Bigelow in the tournament?

Steiner Brothers vs. Rich Myers/The Executioner

Rick works on Executioner’s (generic masked jobber) arm to start before whipping him HARD into the corner. One heck of a jumping Steiner Line makes things even worse so it’s off to Myers, whose luck is even worse. Why is it worse you ask? Well that’s because after a few quick holds, Scott gives him a pumphandle slam and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER.

If you’ve never seen that, it’s a vertical suplex but Scott drops them straight down into a sitout Tombstone. It was probably only used about ten times because people are scared to death of taking the thing (understandable) but DANG it looks great. Even the New York fans were impressed by that. The Steiner Bulldog wraps up the body that used to be Myers.

Rating: D+. The more I watch the Steiners, the more impressed I am by them. They just maul people like they’re nothing and it’s one of the most entertaining things you’ll ever get to see. That Screwdriver looked perfect and it’s still one of the best finishers, or at least the most devastating. Just fun all around here, unless you’re Myers.

Mr. Hughes vs. Bert Centeno

For the sake of simplicity, just imagine every power move you would expect to see in a squash and Hughes uses it here. A Boss Man Slam wraps it up in very short order.

King of the Ring Report with nothing new to talk about.

Jim Duggan vs. Mark Thomas

Jim runs him over, does a very rare suplex and finishes with the three point clothesline. Just a squash.

Post match Duggan leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.

The 1-2-3 Kid can’t believe he’s here and can’t believe he’s been offered $5,000 to face Razor Ramon again (upgraded from $2,500). He still won’t do it though.

Razor Ramon vs. Tony Roy

The fans chant 1-2-3 with Savage leading the people. Roy rolls a distracted Ramon up for two and it’s time for the beating to begin. The all away slam gets two and Ramon puts on a leg trap chinlock. It’s off to an abdominal stretch, followed by the super belly to back suplex and the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: C-. I can go for a ticked off Ramon hurting small people who dare to annoy him. Ramon is big enough to make the power moves look good but he’s not big enough to be considered a giant. That’s a rare physical type and something that can be turned into something special, which Ramon certainly was.

Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna come out to say Memorial Day should be June 13 because it’s the day Hulkamania will die. At least I think that’s what they’re saying because they have to talk over the HOGAN SUCKS chants. Duggan pops up in the balcony to wave the American flag as we wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. Just a night of squashes as we’re completely out of things to talk about before the pay per view. That’s the danger of running a tournament as there’s not much to talk about because for some reason they seem to think the tournament itself is more than enough to carry the whole thing. Boring show here, but check out the Screwdriver.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 24, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Something tells me this one won’t be as memorable as last week. We’re less than a month away from King of the Ring and the tournament is mostly set but the big story continues to be….well non-existent really. Most of the stories feel like they’re just there instead of one thing being miles ahead of the rest. To be fair though, that makes for some more interesting shows as you don’t know what you’re getting. Let’s get to it.

Doink the Clown comes out for his match and hides underneath the ring (hiding as much as you can with a camera on you) but we cut to outside where Lord Alfred Hayes is with….DOINK THE CLOWN! See, it’s an illusion, which is code for WWF announcers being too stupid to realize more than one person could wear a clown suit.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Doink the Clown vs. Mr. Perfect

This is the third try at this match as both previous attempts had gone to draws. Doink throws a towel at Perfect to get in some cheap shots but Perfect easily takes him down and works on the leg. Back from a break with Doink limping around but still beating Perfect down on the floor.

Perfect comes right back with a headscissors to keep Doink on the mat. It turns into an amateur match with Perfect getting the better of it and stomping on the knee again. Perfect puts on a leglock with Doink’s shoulders down and slaps the clown every time he gets up before getting pinned. Doink takes him right back down though and we hit a top wristlock of all things.

We take a second break and come back with the two of them slapping it out until Perfect is pulled face first into the middle turnbuckle. That’s fine with Perfect, who clotheslines the heck out of Doink and sends him outside. That means we play switching clowns (somehow the referee doesn’t notice the missing makeup but Vince of all people catches the problem) but the fresh Doink is caught in a quick PerfectPlex to send Perfect to the tournament.

Rating: B. This was an entirely different kind of match than you would have expected as heel Doink was a fascinating character who could wrestle a rock solid technical match and be all evil at the same time. Of course Perfect can keep up with anyone on the mat and he was on some amazing fire in this face run. It’s a shame he didn’t get to do it more often too as he was excellent around this time.

Post match Perfect gets double teamed until Crush comes in for the save.

King of the Ring Report with the now complete brackets:

Bret Hart

Razor Ramon

Mr. Perfect

Mr. Hughes

Tatanka

Lex Luger

Bam Bam Bigelow

Jim Duggan

Hulk Hogan, looking probably forty pounds lighter than usual, is ready for Yokozuna and brags about his barely existent physique.

Money Inc. vs. Mike Bell/Tony DeVito

Non-title and DiBiase offers $100 for a shoe shine, meaning Heenan has to be held in his seat. A kid comes in and does the shining but IRS says that’ll be $70 tax. The kid doesn’t seem to mind making $30 for about forty seconds of work and leaves smiling. Of course Vince and Randy freak out about how humiliating that was for him. DiBiase sends Bell face first into the mat so it’s off to DeVito as the fans get on IRS’ case. Not his literal case but you get the idea. The squashing continues as we hear about the 1-2-3 Kid winning last week. Ted’s powerslam sets up the Write Off clothesline to put Tony away.

Rating: D. Just a squash here (with Vince saying DeVito was squashed after the match) and that’s all it needed to be. DiBiase always felt a little bit out of place in 1993 as he didn’t have the same fire he had a few years earlier. Then again it might be the whole tag team thing as Money Inc. was fine but not exactly inspiring.

Crush vs. Bobby Who

Crush throws him into the corner and we’re already in the bearhug as the announcers make WHO jokes. The head vice wraps this up after far longer than it needed to go.

Rating: D-. There’s only so much I can say when a match runs over three minutes and there are two extended holds. Crush really did seem ready to jump through the ceiling but it never quite happened. Maybe it was the color scheme but it just didn’t work for some reason. Either way, this was longer than it needed to be and the WHO jokes didn’t help.

Here’s Razor Ramon to talk about his loss to the 1-2-3 Kid. He’s not exactly happy as you might expect and has an idea: he’ll face Kid again next week and is willing to put up $2,500 to get Kid in the ring. Vince shifts things over to the first round of the King of the Ring with Ramon facing Bret Hart. Cue Bret as the fans chant 1-2-3. Bret makes fun of Razor for losing to one of the underneath guys and Ramon is livid as the Canadian leaves.

Heenan does his watching TV bit when Johnny Polo (Raven) pops up on his screen to say don’t change the channel because Adam Bomb is next. Eh clever enough.

Adam Bomb vs. Phil Apollo

Apollo would wind up playing Doink when the original (Matt Borne) left. We hit the beating in a hurry, which might be taking place due to Phil’s trunks being WAY too small. Adam throws him outside for a bit before hitting him with a top rope clothesline. The Adam Smasher (powerbomb) is good for the pin.

Bam Bam Bigelow is ready to win the Intercontinental Title and isn’t worried about Sherri Martel in Marty Jannetty’s corner. She was in his corner?

Overall Rating: C. That opener does more than enough to carry the rest of this squash heavy show. It’s quite the drop from last week but it’s still better than watching Shawn Michaels vs. Jim Duggan in a long, boring match. It helps that I like some of the wrestlers on here like Bomb and Crush so this wasn’t the hardest thing in the world to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

To say these recent shows haven’t been interesting is a huge understatement. They’re just not working and haven’t been in almost the entire time the show has been on the air. You get a few moments that are better than the rest but really, the show feels like Superstars with a budget and we need more than that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Earlier today, Savage and the Smoking Gunns supported some Special Olympians. Nothing wrong with that.

We look at last week’s brawl between Mr. Perfect and Shawn Michaels.

Lord Alfred Hayes says someone is here in disguise and we’ll see who it is later.

Smoking Gunns vs. Glenn Ruth/Tony Vajda

Ruth is more famous as Headbanger Thrasher. Bart hiptosses Vajda to start and the Gunns start tagging a bit. Ruth comes in and takes a clothesline as well but something is botched, only to have the Gunns save it with a double legsweep. Some very slow offense ensues, including some kicks and legdrops as the arm work continues. Billy backdrops Glenn into a piledriver (which might have been a botched powerbomb) for the pin.

Rating: D. Long and boring stuff here but that’s what you had to expect. The Gunns certainly weren’t a great team but at this point, there wasn’t exactly much to go around in the division. They helped bolster the ranks a little bit and that’s exactly what the division needed around this time.

Vince brings out Shawn Michaels for a chat and we hit the SHAWN IS GAY chants. Heenan: “You hear that? Shawn is great!” Shawn told us all that he would win the Intercontinental Title and defend it around the world, which is exactly what he did. He told us he would beat up Mr. Perfect and he’s done that too.

Vince suggests that Shawn isn’t exactly a fighting champion so Michaels agrees to face anyone anywhere anytime and you know that’s not something you say in wrestling. Cue a “fan” who looks a lot like Marty Jannetty in a hoodie and sunglasses. The “fan” gets in the ring and removes the hood and sunglasses to reveal….MARTY JANNETTY! He’ll take a title shot tonight and just happens to have his gear in the back. Vince says it’s on for later tonight.

Razor Ramon vs. The Kid

This one is kind of famous. Razor throws the toothpick in his face to start and lights up Kid’s chest with some chops. There’s the fall away slam and Razor slaps him in the back of the head. Razor misses a charge into the corner though and Kid goes up for a moonsault press for what might be the biggest upset in company history.

THIS is the moment that put Raw on the map. After being just another wrestling show for a few months, this match put it on the map as a show where things could happen. This isn’t some pin where interference led to a pin. The Kid capitalized on Ramon’s mistake and got a 100% clean pin. It’s the kind of thing you don’t see very often and the New York crowd ate it up. There’s a reason this one was on highlight reels for a very long time and it still shows up occasionally.

Tatanka vs. Scott Taylor

Taylor gets backdropped to the floor for a fast start as Heenan talks about toilet paper statistics. More throwing around ensues and Vince suggests the Kid should now be the 1-2-3 Kid. The Papoose to Go puts Taylor away.

Rating: D+. Another squash but the fans needed a minute to breathe after the huge upset. It really is amazing how well Tatanka did with such a generic gimmick. He wasn’t all that talented in the ring either but he made the most of it and that’s what matters more than anything. Fans can tell when you’re trying and that usually means success.

King of the Ring Report with Gene talking about the tournament and World Title match.

Yokozuna vs. Kamala

Kamala looks confused by Yokozuna’s entrance but he looks that way more often than not. The collision goes to Kamala and a superkick to the chest staggers the bigger man even more. Kamala chops away but a shot to the throat slows him down again. The huge leg crushes Kamala but he pops up for more chops. Fuji grabs the leg though and Yokozuna finishes with the usual.

Rating: D. This was actually a lot less bad (I can’t say better) than I was expecting here with Kamala giving us a few hope spots before losing in the end as you had to expect he would. Yokozuna was clearly on the way to getting the World Title back at the King of the Ring and there’s nothing wrong with that. He never should have lost it in the first place.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Shawn is defending and gets rolled up a few times to start. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor as Heenan is in full on panic mode early on. Marty follows him out with a slingshot plancha and the fans are WAY into him here. Back in and Marty grabs a flying headscissors for two as the very hot pace continues. A whip into the corner turns Shawn upside down and out to the floor. Michaels can’t walk out though as Mr. Perfect is waiting for him in the aisle.

Back from a break with Marty eating a hot shot and we hit the chinlock. A catapult sends Shawn had first into the post for a very close two as the fans continue to die over these near falls. Marty gets two off a jumping back elbow and powerslam, followed by a spinning crossbody for the same. Shawn comes right back with the superkick but stops to yell at Perfect. That earns Shawn a towel to the face, setting up a small package to give Marty the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This was the kind of fast paced match that you just didn’t get from Raw so far, making this even more impressive than usual. Marty winning the title (the first title change ever on the show) was a major deal as it made you feel like anything could happen. The fast pace helped a lot here and that’s why the match stood out: it was genuinely different and more proof that the line should be “the Jim Neidhart of the team” rather than the Marty.

Overall Rating: B+. This is the show that made people believe Raw was something different. Having two big surprises like that in a row made Raw feel so much different and really inspired the Monday Nitro formula. The idea here was to make Raw feel like a show you couldn’t miss and that’s exactly what they did. Really well done here and by far the benchmark for good Raw’s in the early days.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 10, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s the start of a fresh taping cycle with a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. Jim Duggan wasn’t happy with losing his first shot at Shawn Michaels due to countout so we have a lumberjack match this time around. We’re also getting ready for the King of the Ring, meaning more qualifying matches. Let’s get to it.

Earlier tonight, Shawn Michaels was talking about the title match when Mr. Perfect jumps him, starting a fight that winds up on a car (Howard Finkel’s to be exact).

Opening sequence.

The announcers argue over their favorite lumberjacks.

King of the Ring Tournament Qualifying Match: Typhoon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They bounce off each other to start (duh) so Typhoon slams him. Typhoon gets in a few more big shots until he gets sent into the post to really change control. It’s off to the big fat chinlock and we take a break. Back with Bigelow hitting a Samoan drop, followed by the flying headbutt for the pin.

Rating: D-. What else were you expecting here? Bigelow was actually talented and getting a push around this time so it makes a lot more sense to have him go over the waste of a roster spot that is Typhoon. That waste would be over shortly though as Typhoon left and became the Shockmaster very soon after this.

The Smoking Gunns are coming.

Yokozuna vs. P.J. Walker

That’s Justin Credible. Minus the bad hair cut, Walker does have a great look and could have been a Marty Jannetty style guy if he never went to ECW. An early belly to belly suplex sets up the big leg, followed by the Banzai Drop for the easy pin. On Walker if that’s not really clear.

King of the Ring Report focusing on the tournament. It’s so odd to see Gene Okerlund looking somewhat young. Well, younger at least.

Mr. Perfect vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

For some reason Perfect hits on the rather hefty Raw Girl, only to throw his gum in her mouth. She seems to like it so the announcers hit the UNCOOKED, UNCUT, UNCENSORED line. Perfect dropkicks Mike to the floor and rains down some right hands in the corner. Sharpe comes out of the corner and they chop the heck out of each other with Perfect getting the better of it. The fans are doing the wave so Heenan starts watching TV in an odd bit. Heenan is looking for “that movie where the girl goes to Dallas”, and I’m assuming you get that joke for yourself. The PerfectPlex wraps Sharpe up.

Rating: C. This actually wasn’t half bad with Sharpe being the kind of guy with enough experience to make a go of it. I can live with a slightly more energetic squash as it’s a lot better to have something with some effort instead of just having someone get broken in half and then hit with a finisher.

Cannonball Kid vs. Mr. Hughes

That would be Lightning Kid from last week. Hughes brings out Harvey Wippleman as his new manager. A powerslam sets up a two handed chokeslam as this is more dominance. Hughes kicks him in the face and finishes with a Boss Man Slam. The name changes are at least something interesting and might be leading to something.

Intercontinental Title: Jim Duggan vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and this is a lumberjack match. During his entrance, Duggan goes outside and drops Yokozuna with one punch. TAKE THAT HOGAN! Shawn comes out on crutches and something seems to be afoot. Er….maybe aknee or aleg. Mr. Perfect doesn’t buy it and throws Shawn inside with the knee looking just fine.

Jim goes right after him and holds Shawn up for a good while before the slam. The fans call Shawn gay as Duggan gets two off a suplex. We hit some choking in the corner and Shawn is getting destroyed so far. Right hands in the corner knock Shawn silly and Duggan tosses him outside as I remember this is a lumberjack match. Shawn is thrown back inside and we take a break.

Back with Duggan missing a knee to FINALLY give Shawn a breather. Shawn removes his boot and knocks Duggan silly (Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a foot inside the boot?) before Jim runs into another boot in the corner. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit before Duggan comes back with more clotheslines and a slam. Duggan’s chinlock doesn’t do much but Shawn knocks him into Bigelow on the apron. Yokozuna adds a huge leg on the floor but Perfect comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. The problem with these early Raw’s is they try to stretch out matches that have no business being stretched. Counting commercials, this went about twenty minutes. Did ANYONE want to see Duggan go that long at any point past about 1984? It wasn’t the worst match ever but the lumberjacks were only there for the ending, which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

The lumberjacks brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. A five and a half minute Mike Sharpe match isn’t enough to save this one and that really shouldn’t be much of a surprise. These shows are all about the big match and Jim Duggan in a match this long isn’t going to make that work. We need to actually get to something interesting soon because these shows aren’t working at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6