Monday Night Raw – June 20, 1994: Rich Men, Old Guys and Fat Tubs of Goo

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

It’s the night after King of the Ring and that means Owen Hart is the top heel in the promotion, which he kind of was coming into the pay per view. If nothing else we should have a main event set up for Summerslam now, with Owen challenging his brother Bret, who retained against Diesel. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Special moment here: the debut of the SPANISH announce team, though we don’t see their more famous table.

Diesel vs. Mark Thomas

Non-title. Thomas is absolutely jacked, to the point where I’m surprised they didn’t give him another look. Actually I’m not as this is during the middle of the STEROIDS TRIAL and this is the best jobber they can find. Thomas shrugs off a ram into the buckle as we talk about Jim Neidhart (which may never again be uttered in a discussion of Raw). We look at the commentary team and THERE’S THE TABLE!!! A knock to the floor has Thomas rocked and there’s the side slam back inside. Snake Eyes set up a neck crank, followed by the Jackknife for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to get Diesel back on track, even though he won the match last night. He’s still the Intercontinental Champion and while that’s hardly remembered, it was a major point in his ascension to the top of the company. I still want to know why this jobber never got at least a look. Teach him almost anything and the look will carry the rest.

The King of the Ring Report recaps most of the show. That’s not the way I would push the encore but you can’t question the WWF’s business sense in 1994.

The announcers push the encore and you can see Savage high fiving fans behind him. That’s just cool.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff

The winner gets a shot at Bret on July 11. Volkoff is part of the Million Dollar Team, meaning his (huge) gear says Property of the Million Dollar Man. Nikolai shoves him around a few times to start so Kid grabs a headlock for as much impact as you would expect. A choke takes Kid down and Volkoff stomps away, followed by a butterfly suplex as we flash back to the 70s. The gorilla press backbreaker gets two more but Volkoff pulls him up like a schnook. Kid tweaks his knee coming out of the corner but it’s just a fake, setting up a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. The Kid was getting a lot better around this point but there’s only so much you can do against Volkoff and his ancient offense. It also doesn’t help when you’re supposed to believe that Volkoff is going to get a WWF World Title shot in 1994. Not a good match but again, why in the world was Volkoff in this spot?

Kid gets beaten down even more until Virgil of all people (He still had a job in 1994???) makes the save. That goes nowhere so Lex Luger makes the real save.

Next week: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel! Thanks for the warning.

Yokozuna vs. Nick Barbery

Forearms and stomps to the back, chops, choking, big fat leg for the pin. The big story from the announcers: TYPHOON is coming to face Yokozuna. Again, thanks for the warning.

Typhoon vs. Black Phantom

Typhoon is billed from Norfolk, Virginia, which I never remember hearing otherwise. He runs into Yokozuna in the aisle and smacks him upside the head. Typhoon uses the big fat offense as Savage realizes that he’s doing commentary with Monsoon instead of Vince. The Phantom hammers away in the corner and looks quite good doing it, to the point where he probably should get a job. Actually he would as that would be the future Gangrel. A suplex and splash put the Phantom away with no effort.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler wearing sunglasses. He rants about Piper bringing the (male) kid into the match, who Lawler claims was Piper’s daughter. Tonight’s guest is Duke the Dumpster Droese, the wrestling garbageman. Duke can’t get in the ring due to his stench though so Lawler makes Ace Ventura jokes. Droese says he doesn’t want to talk to a piece of garbage like Lawler so he walks out, only to have Lawler beat him with a garbage can.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Jim Powers/Russ Greenberg

Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and I could go with hearing him talk to Savage for years. Powers knees Del Ray down as we hear about the Bodies getting a Tag Team Title shot against the Headshrinkers. Prichard comes in and gets shouldered down as Cornette rants about Vanna White and dinosaurs. The Spanish commentary starts bleeding through, sending Cornette into one of his patented frenzied rants. Del Ray superkicks Russ, setting up an elevated DDT. Cornette says the Bodies are cockroaches and Del Ray mostly misses a moonsault press (cracking his pelvis in the process) for the pin.

Rating: D+. The Bodies are actually a really underrated tag team (I blame the hair) and it’s a shame that they never did much after Smoky Mountain went under. They had good looks and a solid enough gimmick to make it work, plus Cornette running his mouth like only he could. Check out their Smoky Mountain feud if you want to see just how good they could be.

Gorilla apologizes for the trashcan and says you’ll NEVER see that again.

Summerslam ad.

DiBiase has his eye on Luger and suggests he join the Million Dollar Team to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Some really bad wrestling this week but sweet tuna melts on toast with papaya on the side Bret vs. the Kid could tear the house down. This was the fallout show from the pay per view so there’s only so much you can get out of it. The bigger problem though is this was such a weak time for the company that outside of a few stories, it’s absolutely not worth watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 6, 1994: I Know That Guy!

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 1994
Location: Struthers Fieldhouse, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We’re coming up on King of the Ring 1994 and…..I need a minute just thinking about something like that. This is a really bad time for the company as Vince is dealing with the steroids trial so don’t expect a lot of good stuff on here. Well, save for the debut of one of the biggest stars of all time. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tatanka vs. Crush

Lumberjack match in a rematch from last week’s draw. IRS and Razor Ramon getting in a fight before all of the lumberjacks are even at ringside. A bunch of lumberjacks get in the ring and tease a brawl as Crush gets in a few shots on Tatanka to start. Things settle down with Tatanka coming back with chops abut a toss sends him outside for a lumberjack beating.

Back in and we hit the chinlock but Crush misses a kneedrop. That means another far too early comeback before we take a break. Back with Tatanka working on an armbar, only to get pulled down into a weak cross armbreaker. McMahon mentions Crush possibly winning the Tag Team Titles as well as the King of the Ring in the same night if he wins here but shuts up when Tatanka chops him down.

It’s back to the armbreaker as this is already going WAY longer than it needed to. Savage: “My temperature is at about 114!” Vince: “That’s normal for you.” Savage: “Thank you.” Crush stays on the mat with a bodyscissors as the fans and lumberjacks are starting to get restless.

We take a second break (Why?) and come back with Crush getting tied up in the ropes but still managing an atomic drop. Crush grabs a front facelock for a good while before sending Tatanka outside, triggering the lumberjack brawl. Now it’s Crush being send outside for a beating of his own, including Lex Luger coming out to blast Crush with the forearm. Crush is done and Tatanka gets the very lame pin to advance at just shy of TWENTY FIVE MINUTES (counting commercials).

Rating: D-. You’ll often hear about how matches are too short today but this is a good reason why that’s not always the worst issue in the world. Just because you can give a match more time doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, especially if so much of the mat is just one guy putting on a hold for two to three minutes at a time. Holds can be used to advance a match but that’s not what was happening here.

King of the Ring Control Center with the full bracket being revealed:

IRS

Mabel

Razor Ramon

Bam Bam Bigelow

Jeff Jarrett

1-2-3 Kid

Owen Hart

Tatanka

We look back at Diesel attacking Bret Hart in the King’s Court with a little help from Shawn Michaels last week.

Bret thinks that proves Diesel isn’t jam up enough to fight on his own. A member of Bret’s family will be in his corner for the title match.

Roddy Piper sends in a video offering Bret his help. He’s ready to take care of Jerry Lawler too and talks about growing up in a rough neighborhood to prove it.

CALL THE HOTLINE! For some reason this is introduced with insults to the Flintstones movie. Rather odd and rather dumb as I always liked that movie.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. John Paul

Bigelow misses an early splash but shrugs off an armbar. That means it’s time to make fun of the Flintstones for some reason with Vince calling Luna the Wilma Flintstone of the WWF. Paul gets in a few kicks and a sunset flip for two. Bigelow shrugs it off and hits a spinning splash for the quick pin.

House show ads.

Earlier today, some wrestlers beat some members of the Marines/Navy/Coast Guard in a tug of war to celebrate D-Day.

Here’s the King’s Court with Lawler running his mouth about Piper. His guest is from Scotland and wears a Hot Rod t-shirt but just happens to be about seventeen years old and weighs 130lbs with a brick in each pocket. The guy does a good impression but it gets old in a hurry as you can get the joke after about two seconds. After a few gay jokes, the guy gets on his hands and knees to kiss Lawler’s feet in an attempt to get out of the match. He crawls out of the ring to finally end this.

Razor Ramon vs. Keith Davis

Razor throws him around to start and catches a crossbody in the fall away slam. We hit the abdominal stretch for a good while until an elbow to the jaw makes things even worse. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Edge to complete the squash.

Rating: D. Total squash with Razor mauling the jobber in the exact fashion you would expect. Now that being said, this would have been a very different match later on as Davis would actually wind up to being a fairly decent worker in his own right. You might have heard of him under his real name: Jeff Hardy.

Paul Bearer is looking for Undertaker.

Ted DiBiase promises to produce the Undertaker on Superstars.

Overall Rating: D. That opener just killed everything and even seeing a seventeen year old Jeff Hardy out there selling as well as someone his age could do couldn’t save it. The show wasn’t any good and it set up a bad pay per view but with Vince trying to stay out of prison, you really can’t expect anything else.

There’s no Raw next week but there was a special called Countdown to the Crowning, because of course there is.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2003 (2017 Redo): The Steiner Shadow

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 27, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Eric Bischoff’s time to fix Raw continues to count down but he has a secret weapon: magazine interviews! Yeah that was his big announcement last week: Steve Austin can tell his side of the story in Raw Magazine. I’m going to assume that it leads to an on-screen return but at least it gives us something to talk about other than HHH vs. Scott Steiner, which is still going for some reason as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Scott Steiner getting the first group beatdown at the hands of HHH, Ric Flair, Randy Orton and Batista. I’m sure a name will be coming soon.

Opening sequence.

Booker T. vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff has been, shall we say, more aggressive and angry lately but he hasn’t pulled the trigger just yet. Feeling out process to start with Booker missing the side kick but scoring with some big chops. Jeff knees him down though and grabs a chinlock as the announcers talk about Bischoff’s potential firing.

I’ve been watching some old 80s stuff lately and this makes me miss the old commentary so much more. Back then the announcers would talk about the match going on like it was the only thing that mattered at the moment while here, it could be anything else other than the match going on in front of them. Booker gets back up and avoids the Whisper in the Wind. The ax kick misses and Jeff drops the legs between Booker’s legs. Now the Whisper connects but Booker grabs the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the quick pin.

Rating: C-. Not a bad little match here as Booker/Goldust doesn’t seem to be getting the most focus at this point. As much as I wanted to see them get a better push with the Tag Team Titles, HHH is desperately in need of a challenger who can have a competent match and Booker would fill that role very well. It’s also nice to open the show with a match instead of some segment, which isn’t the best way to get a show going on a good note.

Jeff attacks Booker but gets beaten down. That’s quite the heel turn.

Nathan Jones video.

Here’s Steiner for a chat. He thinks HHH orchestrated that whole thing last week so get out here right now. This brings out the champ, with the long blond hair, sunglasses and suit for a look that says “I don’t know how to be Ric Flair”. HHH brags about how awesome he is and agrees to come to the ring….but here are the reinforcements. The team comes after him but Steiner pulls out a pipe and chases them off. Simple idea, but I’m not sure you want to have your new heel stable being chased off in their second appearance together.

Terri interviews D’Lo Brown before his match with Hurricane. Terri: “Now you’ve never been in the ring with a superhero before have you?” Teddy Long goes on a rant about the lack of black superheroes. The only one he knows of is Black Lightning, suggesting that Long doesn’t know much about superheroes.

Hurricane vs. D’Lo Brown

Going back to the complaints about commentary, the announcers talk about black superheroes, which turns into a discussion about Shaft. Brown starts fast with the leg lariat (Is that a super power?) and follows with an abdominal stretch (I’m assuming rest holds are like his yellow sun?). Hurricane grabs a hurricanrana and something like an Edge-o-Matic for two before sending Brown outside. A flip dive seems to hurt Hurricane’s back though and he can’t get a suplex back inside. The Sky High is enough to put Hurricane away.

Rating: D+. The ending with the bad back was a nice touch but the commentary hurt things a lot. Brown and Hurricane are fine enough for a low level heel act but I don’t know how far they’re going to go with the thing. You can also add Hurricane to the list of people who were given titles last year and seemingly gained nothing as a result.

Chief Morely is watching a tape of the end of last week’s Smackdown where Hulk Hogan returned and punched Vince out. Morely thinks that’s going to get Bischoff an extension on the thirty days, which Bischoff calls stupid, as he should be doing. Eric has an idea.

Chris Jericho, who will be facing Steiner next week in a #1 contenders match, is disturbed by hurting that ring post in front of Stacy Keibler last week. Somehow Stacy has a grade 2 concussion and Jericho needs to go address the situation.

Here’s Jericho, in black and white checker pants, to address said situation after a break. He’s concerned about what’s going to happen: he has to face Scott Steiner! While that’s a big deal, he does apologize to Stacy, only to be cut off by Christian. He doesn’t think much of what happened to Stacy because this is a wrestling ring and it was all her fault. JR is at his most offended here as Jericho says the blame should be on Test. If Test was a real man, he would have taken the shot himself. JR: “WHAT???”

Test deserved it after throwing Jericho out of the Royal Rumble but here’s Shawn Michaels to disagree. After making fun of Jericho’s pants, he says a real man would come down and fight Jericho face to face, which is exactly what he’s going to do. Christian helps with the beatdown but Shawn cleans house without too much effort.

Victoria beats on a trashcan with Trish Stratus’ picture on it to get ready for the street fight.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Victoria (looking especially good here in pink) is defending in a street fight and jumps Trish from behind with a pool cue. Trish is sent into the steps and Victoria stops to pose in the ring. A Chick Kick drops the champ and a clothesline gets two on the floor (street fights and hardcore matches aren’t the same thing but you can’t expect WWE to keep up with something like rules).

Back in and Victoria misses a charge into the post and gets two trashcan lids cracked around her head. Victoria is right back with a catapult into a trashcan in the corner but a Stratusphere gives Trish two. Steven Richards tries a fire extinguisher but hits Victoria by mistake. Richards comes in for the save so Trish kendo sticks him away. Stratusfaction is broken up and Trish is sent into the barricade…for the pin? What a lame ending.

Rating: C+. That ending really hurt things here as they were beating the heck out of each other and looking more polished as almost any hardcore match you would see from this company. It felt like they were actually trying to hurt each other, which is far more than you can say about these matches most of the time. Just find a new challenger though as the feud is really starting to look stale.

Victoria and Richards beat on Trish some more until Jazz returns to get in her own shots. A DDT and STF have Trish screaming and I’m sure we’ll be having a match at No Way Out as a result.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending in a tables match (ladder match according to JR). Bubba and D-Von jump the champs to start and get in some shots with flag poles. Storm gets speared down and send outside in a heap as JR lists off the Dudleys’ record in table matches with the titles on the line since 2000. Well how can you argue with general statistics like that?

The reverse 3D drops Regal and the regular version does the same to Storm but, instead of going for a table, here’s a What’s Up to Regal. It’s table time….but there are no tables present. You can find a small hardware store under there most of the time but we can’t find a single table? Also, ANNNOUNCER’S TABLE anyone?. Morely comes out with a table and says he’s not that stupid. The Dudleys go after him and here are Rico and 3 Minute Warning to lay them out. The beatdown is on and even Spike Dudley’s interference can’t stop D-Von from being powerbombed through the table to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This was a squash until the second half was all about the interference. The problem with the whole evil regime thing is you basically have Val Venis, two Samoans, the most boring Tag Team Champions ever and Rico vs. the Dudleys. Why in the world is that supposed to be interesting? I say supposed to because it certainly isn’t, but WWE is likely going to keep it out there as long as they can.

Video on the recent tour of Asia.

HHH and company come in to see Bischoff about the #1 contenders match but then changes his mind because he’s not worried.

Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan (looking WEIRD with much shorter hair) are ready for an exhibition. Al Snow comes up to give them a pep talk but EVIL Christopher Nowinski is behind them with an evil smile.

Rob Van Dam is cool with Kane throwing him out of the Rumble. They’re ready to fight HHH and Batista tonight. Rob thinks the chokeslam is cool and then lists off all of his own moves. Kane does Rob’s thumb pose while calling himself the Big Red Machine. These two are a good choice for an upper midcard team, which tends to be the case with Kane more often than not. Not the worst role in the world to have actually.

We recap the Tough Enough 3 finale.

Matt Cappotelli vs. John Hennigan

They both look nervous, not to mention small. Matt headlocks him to the mat to start as Snow watches from ringside. John flips out of a hiptoss and hits a dropkick with a backflip for two. Cue Nowinski to post Snow and stop the match for a speech instead.

Nowinski rants about not winning Tough Enough but here’s Dreamer to chase him off, only to cane the rookies down for not earning the right to be here. I always liked Matt more than John and given that this is being written the day he announced that his brain cancer had returned, this was very bittersweet.

Sean O’Haire tells us not to worry about having a drink or a smoke.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to talk about Austin. We see a clip from Confidential back in June with everyone burying Austin for walking out on the company. There are two sides to every story though and Austin will be telling his side in Raw Magazine. This will includes talking about JR, Debra (recently divorced) and a host of various wrestlers, entirely uncensored. For now though, here’s the Austin Desire video.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. HHH/Batista

Kane and Batista start things off with JR already talking about the Austin article. Batista stops a charge with an elbow but eats a jumping clothesline. It’s off to Van Dam for the shoulders in the corner but the backflip lets Batista run him over. HHH comes in and gets kicked in the face as JR and King talk about horses in Oklahoma.

Batista takes Van Dam’s head off with a hard clothesline but Van Dam kicks HHH in the face (again), allowing the hot tag off to Kane. Side slams abound and the top rope clothesline drops Batista. The Five Star doesn’t quite work though, leaving Orton to post Kane. Batista rips the mask off (giving us a pretty clear shot of most of his face), sending Kane up the ramp in shame. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb end Van Dam.

Rating: D. Boring for the most part here with the mask stuff being the only thing of much note. Van Dam and Kane are good options for the jobbers here, though at the end of the day they need to build up SOMEONE other than Steiner for the future. I know Kane and Van Dam aren’t the most interesting people but having them lose in seven minutes isn’t the best way to give us people to fight against the heel faction.

Post match Van Dam gets beaten down until Steiner comes in. That earns him a beatdown from an invading Jericho and then the whole group, with Scott getting some color. HHH and company leave so Jericho slaps on the Walls to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They kept this show moving for the most part but the shadow of HHH vs. Steiner and Austin returning for Bischoff’s sake isn’t the best stuff to put on top of the card. Couple that with stuff like D’Lo Brown: Black Superhero and the never ending Tough Enough nonsense and it can make for a tedious show. They managed to make the best of some bad situations though and the show was as watchable as it’s going to get around this time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 26, 2017: Move Over Mae Young

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

Things are getting interesting around here with last week’s show seeing Big Cass revealed as attacking himself to set up Enzo Amore. Why Cass didn’t just attack Amore during a match isn’t clear but that’s life in WWE. Other than that, Brock Lesnar is in the house and planning to call out Samoa Joe. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open things up and the WE WANT STROWMAN chants are already out in full force. Reigns: “If you let me get this out you might like this.” He admits that he got choked out last week and Braun Strowman returned to pick the bones. The ambulance match is on and Reigns is ready to drive Strowman out of the building.

Cue an ambulance backing into the arena (I was hoping for a Scott Steiner cameo) so Reigns goes to investigate, only to find…..no one in the back. Instead Strowman jumps him from behind and throws Roman onto the stage. Braun isn’t done with him though and throws Roman back off the stage and against the ambulance. Reigns gets tossed into the ambulance with the doors closed without much effort.

Elias Samson/Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boyz/Finn Balor

The good guys cut off what was going to be Samson singing with Sheamus and Cesaro, thereby making them villains. Matt and Sheamus start things off and it’s quickly off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion. Sheamus and Cesaro are sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Balor kicking Cesaro in the ribs and actor Josh Duhamel on commentary. A basement dropkick gets two for Balor as we hear about Sheamus appearing in a movie with Duhamel.

As you might expect, the match is COMPLETELY ignored to talk about the movie with only Duhamel sounding interested in the action. Balor tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught in an over the shoulder backbreaker. That doesn’t last long either as Jeff slips out and gets in the legdrop between Sheamus’ legs, only to be sent into the corner as we take another break.

Back with Sheamus giving Jeff the Irish Curse, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Jeff escapes again and brings in Matt to take over on Samson. The Side Effect gets two with Sheamus making the save, only to have Balor get the hot tag to really clean house. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent outside for the big flip dive. Balor dropkicks Cesaro into the corner and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 17:28.

Rating: C. This was two segments in one as the first half was Duhamel plugging all of his projects (nothing wrong with that as I’m sure a studio told him to do it and he doesn’t know anything about wrestling) and then a pretty good match after the second break. Balor getting the pin is a good idea, though I’m not sure in the idea of him facing Samson in his next feud. At least the match was watchable, assuming you didn’t pay attention to the commentary.

Goldust is ready to debut the Shattered Truth because it’s the grand finale.

R-Truth vs. Goldust

Goldust has his own camera operator and is in his old gear. Truth gets jumped before the bell and laid out. No match.

Paul Heyman is talking about Samoa Joe when Joe comes up and grabs him by the throat. He lets Heyman go and says the Clutch is meant for Lesnar later tonight.

There’s a gauntlet match later tonight to determine the #1 contender to the Women’s Title. Bayley draws her number and seems pleased.

Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Their guests tonight: the Ball family of NBA fame. If you don’t know who they are, just grit your teeth and bear through it. LaVar, the father, runs to the ring and lays down on the mat for a bit before introducing his son Lonzo, who was recently drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers.

Miz is ready to start a partnership with the Ball’s Big Baller Brand but LaVar isn’t having any of that. Miz is a bit too low for LaVar, who runs his mouth about how awesome he is even more and climbs onto the bottom rope. LaVar: “BOY YOU BETTER STAY IN YOUR LANE OR THE HUNT IS ON AND YOU THE PREY!”

A fight is nearly on and here’s Dean Ambrose to interrupt, though LaVar keeps running his mouth. Dean is in a Big Baller Brand shirt because no one has bigger balls than him, plus he likes free t-shirts. That’s it for the segment, likely before LaVar can say anything else that sounds ridiculous. This was TERRIBLE and more proof that WWE cares about getting on SportsCenter and Access Hollywood than anything to do with TV. Honestly, that might have been the worst segment since Katie Vick, if not even further back than that.

Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz

Joined in progress with Slater working on Axel before it’s off to Rhyno vs. Miz. The announcers are burying the Big Baller Brand (fair enough as it’s overrated and ugly) as Rhyno gets caught in the wrong corner. Axel charges into an elbow in the corner and gets his head clotheslined off, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Everything breaks down and the bad guys are all sent outside as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the YES Kicks to Slater. A neckbreaker to Axel and a heel kick to Miz are enough for the hot tag to Rhyno as everything breaks down. Axel gets in a cheap shot on Rhyno, allowing Dallas to grab a rollup for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but after the previous segment, this might as well have been Flair vs. Steamboat. I mean, it’s no Okada vs. Omega II which was totally 25% better than any “perfect” match ever or anything but it was that good. Miz having lackeys is a great idea for him as he’s the kind of guy who would pay people to hang out with him and do his bidding. It also keeps him feuding with Ambrose while keeping things a bit more fresh.

Long video on Enzo and Big Cass splitting up.

Here’s Enzo for his big speech. Enzo says this is about the realest guys in the room. He’s been trying to get hold of Cass all week, even calling his mother. The one thing he hasn’t done is talk to Cass himself so get out here right now or he’s not leaving the ring. This brings out Cass (with a slightly remixed version of the regular theme) to a hearty chorus of booing. Enzo knows that hurts him because he knows Cass better than anyone.

Words can cut you deep and he’s already bled out. Cass said a lot last week and a bunch of them were right. Enzo has the biggest mouth in the world and it bites off more than he can chew but it was ok because he had Cass with him. Last week, Cass let out his aggression with a lot of passion, which Enzo has seen from him before. The last time Enzo saw it was when he woke up in a hospital bed after getting knocked out on a pay per view. Enzo isn’t letting him walk away before they become Tag Team Champions.

Cass takes the mic and says Enzo doesn’t know when to shut up. After last week, he’s never been so ashamed in his life. Yes Enzo is annoying and loud but that’s just how he is. They’re not going to change each other and they’re brothers. Cass apologizes and they shake hands with Cass hitting the catchphrase. They walk up the ramp….and there’s the big clothesline to Enzo. Cass asks the people if they want Enzo before tossing him down the ramp like a doll. That was a great speech from Enzo and Cass not caring is exactly the right call. I’d have had him kick Enzo in the face and leave without saying a word but this works too.

Post break Cass comes up to Corey Graves and tells him to stay out of his life, no matter what Graves has on Angle.

Seth Rollins vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins starts fast and grabs a suplex before throwing on a chinlock. Rollins easily fights back and grabs a Sling Blade, followed by a Blockbuster. The springboard clothesline sets up the windup knee to the face for the pin on Hawkins at 2:59.

Bray Wyatt pops up to say Seth isn’t being himself and on July 9, he’ll take Rollins back where he belongs. So the match is confirmed.

Mickie James and Dana Brooke draw their numbers. Geez people pick up the pace a bit.

Post break, Banks draws her number.

Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about Samoa Joe not fearing Brock Lesnar. Heyman could have taken a cheap shot at Joe in the back and been saved by everyone breaking it up but he’d rather have Lesnar do it himself. This brings out Lesnar but Joe grabs him from behind on the stage and puts on the Koquina Clutch. Lesnar turns purple but drives Joe into the video wall, only to get choked down again. The locker room comes out to break it up but Brock looks really shaken.

Again, this was VERY well done with one very special key: Lesnar fought back but got choked down again. That makes it look like Joe can take something from Lesnar instead of just getting the upper hand in a blindside attack. Joe does not have to win the title but just doing stuff like this to make him feel like a threat is exactly what they needed to be doing.

Neville vs. Lince Dorado

Non-title with Akira Tozawa at ringside. Neville kicks him to the corner to start and grabs an early chinlock. Dorado fights up and hits a flip dive through the ropes, only to get kicked in the head. The Rings of Saturn makes Dorado tap at 3:03.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but I’m always a fan of using jobbers like this. Dorado doesn’t lose anything important by losing to the champ and Neville looks good by being so dominant. It also sets up the post match confrontation, so we can call this a well done little segment, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Neville is ready for the fight and Tozawa is happy to oblige but Titus O’Neil comes out to announce the Cruiserweight Title match for Great Balls of Fire. We’ll find out if the Neville Level can contend with the Power of Tozawa.

Emma draws.

We look at the opening segment.

Heyman thinks Lesnar will lose if he gets choked out at Great Balls of Fire. As a promoter though, he loves his because it’s set up perfectly. At the pay per view, Brock is going to hit the F5 and Samoa Joe is going to need smelling salts to be woken up. Joe is going to say that’s what it’s like to fight the Beast. Heyman: “Goodness, gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!”

Nia Jax has drawn the final number and runs into Alexa Bliss, who knows what it’s like to be judged, just like her. She wishes Jax luck but Nia says she doesn’t need it.

Gauntlet Match

Six women involved total with two starting. Whoever wins the fall keeps going until all six are in with the last woman surviving getting a title shot at Great Balls of fire. Bayley is in at #1 and Nia Jax is in at #2. Bayley slugs away to start but is easily knocked into the corner for some choking. A missed charge lets Bayley hit a top rope elbow drop to a standing Nia’s back but some kicks to the leg don’t get her very far. Instead Nia kicks her into the corner and grabs the Samoan drop for the pin at 3:37. Mickie James is in third and we take a break.

Back with Nia blocking a sunset flip and grabbing a bearhug. Mickie slips out and kicks Nia out of the corner, followed by the top rope Thesz press for two. The spinning kick to the head staggers Jax but she runs Mickie over for the pin at 10:03. Dana Brooke is in fourth and the legdrop ends her at 11:02. Emma is in fifth and the Samoan drop gets rid of her at 12:31. That leaves Sasha Banks in sixth and she knocks Nia to the floor, only to have her suicide dive pulled out of the air. Sasha slips out and poses Nia, followed by the running double knees from the apron to take us to another break.

Back again with Nia holding a chinlock until Sasha fights up with the running knees in the corner. A very hard clothesline gives Nia two and she drops an elbow for the same. Nia takes out the leg and sends Sasha outside for a nine count before throwing on a bearhug. Sasha reverses into a guillotine (she’s been watching those Bayley tapes) but Nia powers her up into a suplex slam.

The legdrop misses though and Sasha hits a hard running elbow to the face. A standing Banks Statement is easily broken up and there’s another Samoan drop to send Sasha out to the apron. Nia pulls her up but gets caught in a modified Bank Statement with both of them on their knees, finally drawing the tap at 28:21.

Rating: B. Now why couldn’t they have done that with Bayley at some point? Anyway, this was the way you build a star up and Banks did just that to end the match. I can live with them pushing someone like Banks as a top star and her match with Bliss should have a lot of potential. Really strong performance from Jax here, who keeps a lot of momentum from winning four times in a row before losing partially due to exhaustion.

Post match Kurt Angle comes out to congratulate Sasha. Alexa is out as well but gets kicked in the face, allowing Sasha to hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the moving day show with four matches being confirmed for the pay per view, including the second biggest match on the card and two title matches. Now that being said, a lot of the good is dragged down by perhaps the worst segment I’ve ever seen.

That ranks up there with Katie Vick and Mae Young giving birth to a hand: they’re embarrassing and make you want to change the channel if someone happens to walk into the room. Take that out and this is a much better show, but don’t be surprised tomorrow if you hear about Ball “selling his brand on some stupid wrestling show”. But any publicity is good publicity, right Vince?

Results

Finn Balor/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Elias Samson – Coup de Grace to Cesaro

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz b. Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose – Rollup to Rhyno

Seth Rollins b. Curt Hawkins – Windup knee to the face

Neville b. Lince Dorado – Rings of Saturn

Sasha Banks won a gauntlet match last eliminating Nia Jax

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 20, 2003 (2017 Redo): THAT MAN HAD A DOCTOR’S NOTE!!!

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 2003
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past the Royal Rumble and, somehow, the big story still seems to be HHH vs. Scott Steiner for reasons of general torture. After Steiner showed why he shouldn’t be allowed to wrestle a watermelon farmer in front of a pair of chickens named Dolores and Walter, it’s pretty clear that he’s getting a rematch next month at No Way Out. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. Vince always gets this one in and maybe we can have a D’Lo Brown match to celebrate.

The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon telling Eric Bischoff that he has thirty days to turn the show around or he’ll be replaced by Shane McMahon.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. The announcers immediately start talking about how awesome last night’s match was, likely with Vince screaming in their ears the whole time. JR even mentions the most terrifying word in the world: REMATCH. I mean, I thought/hoped I was imagining it when he said HHH had “no way out” last night but I probably need to see my therapist more. Granted when the match put me in therapy in the first place (Which CAN NOT be blamed on Steiner of course. That would just be lunacy.), it kind of defeats the purpose.

HHH talks about how physical the match was last night but at the end, Steiner had to use a sledgehammer to save himself. As they say in the movies, “there ain’t gonna be no rematch.” Apollo didn’t say “there” you nitwit. Get your Rocky quotes straight. Cue Steiner to say he wants his rematch tonight, despite taped ribs. Are those from carrying HHH last night? I mean, that WHOLE THING was HHH’s fault and nothing can be blamed on anyone else so we’ll go with that theory.

HHH has a note from his doctor (An apology for the match perhaps?) and can’t wrestle tonight so Flair says Batista can do it instead. As I desperately scramble to find that therapist’s number, Batista comes out for a distraction so HHH can jump Steiner to little avail. Scott cleans house, despite a minor misstep where they looked to be on the wrong page (HHH’S FAULT!!! HHH’S FAULT!!!).

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Imagine the pre-match prep talk. I feel string would be discussed in thorough detail. Jeff starts with a jawbreaker and a running dropkick puts Rob on the floor. The barricade run doesn’t work as Rob kicks the leg out, followed by more kicks back inside. The announcers start talking about Chris Jericho in the Rumble for no apparent reason as Jeff gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Van Dam grabs a Regal Roll and hits a middle rope moonsault, only to miss the Five Star. A Codebreaker of all things sets up the Swanton for two, followed by Rob grabbing a backslide for the pin.

Rating: C. The match had the noticeable slips that you would expect from these two but it worked well enough with Jeff not being able to win even with his best move. If nothing else it was cool to see what would become a famous move later on used as something basic here. It’s not like Jericho invented it but it’s still weird to see so long ago.

Post match Jeff snaps and grabs a chair but throws it down before the swing.

Christian and Christopher Nowinski offer Bischoff good luck with his remaining twenty one days to turn Raw around. I know WWE doesn’t think much of its fans, but I think they know that thirty minus seven isn’t twenty one. This always made me shake my head back in the day and I still don’t get it now. If they just had to set it up to end on Raw, just set it up as four weeks from tonight instead of thirty days, which made the whole thing confusing. Anyway, there’s going to be a bombshell announcement later tonight.

Steiner runs into Randy Orton, who talks about Steiner wanting to be World Champion. Steiner, ever the crazy man, attacks Orton, which threatens his 95% healed shoulder. Dude DON’T MESS WITH HIS MATH SKILLS! Some threats leave Orton shaken.

Chief Morely has Nick Patrick watch the ending to the Tag Team Title match. Patrick admits his mistake but Morely wants a public apology. As opposed to one on national television.

Here are Morely and Patrick for said apology. Patrick gladly does so, but Morely wants the decision reversed. In one of the most laugh inducing lines ever in WWE, Patrick says it’s company policy that all referee decisions are final. That’s bad even by WWE standards. Morely calls out the Dudley Boyz, who point out that Morely brought the knuckles into the ring in the first place. Morely demands the titles be handed over but Bubba won’t give them to a washed up ex-adult star. It’s almost table time but William Regal and Lance Storm run in for the save. Bubba gets flapjacked through the table and Morely says let’s have a title defense.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

Storm and Regal are challenging and win the titles in less than fifteen seconds.

To clarify, Booker T. and Goldust can’t keep the titles for a month but we can do two title changes in twenty four hours. There’s no real reason to have Booker and Goldust lose the belts in the first place when you could have had them defend against Storm and Regal at the Rumble and then do this same angle tonight. Why do that though when you can get two more reigns out of it though, thereby making the titles seem even weaker than they already are?

Trish Stratus/Hurricane vs. Steven Richards/Victoria

The genders have to match. Hurricane armdrags Richards down to start but Victoria tags herself in and slaps Hurricane in the mask. The threat of a chokeslam brings Richards back in as the rules are thrown out less than a minute and a half in. Trish comes in and they botch what I think was going to be an electric chair but turned into Trish sitting on the back of Victoria’s head. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop and it’s off to Hurricane but the referee didn’t see the tag. Trish almost takes the StevieDT but Hurricane makes a save. Stratusfaction ends Victoria, likely setting up another title match. This was a mess.

Bischoff talks to Vince’s secretary and again promises a big surprise so Vince should turn the show on. WWE just admitted that the boss, the owner of the company, and the most important man in the wrestling world ISN’T WATCHING HIS FLAGSHIP SHOW. That sums up so many problems in one line. Bischoff throws a dart at a picture of Shane McMahon on a dartboard to really emphasize the idea.

Same Sean O’Haire video from last night.

Here’s Bischoff for his big announcement. We see a clip of Steve Austin being named Raw Superstar of the Decade but not being invited to the ceremony. Bischoff says Austin wasn’t there because he walked out on Vince McMahon. We’ve heard Vince and JR’s sides of the story so maybe we should hear from Austin. Eric is going to give him the chance to tell his side…..IN RAW MAGAZINE!

That’s not the big announcement though (thank goodness). Instead, Bischoff is inviting Austin to return at No Way Out. How does that change Raw though? As in Bischoff’s whole assignment. Eh I’m sure it makes sense in WWE’s mind, which is all that matters. It’s not like the fans can make sense of all these brilliant ideas (Want to know what happened? GO BUY THE MAGAZINE!) so take what you can get. Oh and the pay per view is further than 21 days away. In theory he could be safe if he signs Austin back before then, but just say “you have until No Way Out” and this isn’t an issue.

3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.

JR calls them 3 Count and, while discussing Test vs. Chris Jericho (which is being treated as a major match for some reason), says Jericho eliminated Shawn Michers last night. Goldust and Jamal get things going but it’s off to Booker before anything goes anywhere. A very hard clothesline turns Booker inside out and all hope is lost.

Back up and Booker superkicks his way back into hope as the match is being ignored for the sake of talking about Austin (fair enough at this point and it’s not like Booker and Goldust seem to be going anywhere anytime soon). Jamal breaks up Shattered Dreams and runs Goldust over to hit the neck crank.

Back up and Jamal misses a charge into the corner so Booker can come in to clean house. A double DDT drops the Samoans and it’s time for the Spinarooni (With a crowd reaction shot. As in one. On the whole show. Not seventeen per match.) but Jamal superkicks Booker down. Jamal misses a top rope splash (his toes might have grazed Booker if he had “connected”) and the ax kick puts him away.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse but they’re not even trying to hide the fact that Booker T. and Goldust are done with the title picture. I have no idea why the company felt the need to immediately move to the Dudleys, who have done this time after time before. It’s not like the upcoming HHH vs. Booker feud needed to be started this early so why not get a little more mileage out of the team?

Video on Chris Jericho’s Royal Rumble performance until Shawn Michaels ran back in, allowing Test to eliminate him.

Chris Jericho vs. Test

Jericho, with a heck of a knot on his head from a Tommy Dreamer cane shot, complains about having his dream stolen. Test sends him over the top for some cat skinning, only to follow up with a gorilla press drop. Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. Stacy plays cheerleader (playing to her natural skills) and gets Test to his feet for a side slam. The big boot misses so Test backdrops him to the floor. Test gets posted and Jericho grabs a chair, which he uses to hit the post, which Stacy was standing behind. Naturally this is equal to shooting Stacy dead and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. Most of that is due to the horrible ending, which we’ll get to in a minute. The rest of the match was Test doing his really standard power offense and still having no reason to care about him because his big thing is a great looking manager who does lame jokes. This really isn’t interesting and that’s not the biggest surprise in the world.

Stacy gets taken out on a stretcher while Test shows off his acting skills. She didn’t get hit in the head and Jericho didn’t hit her. Unfortunately this is going to lead to the Owen Hart voices because this story needs to be all serious instead of something rather bad looking. I get what they’re going for, but it’s kind of hard to get interested in a story where someone hit a post and damaged the woman who does the Testicles jokes.

Al Snow plugs the Tough Enough finale.

Stacy is still being taken out. They show the worst replay imaginable, which shows the chair hitting the post, which Stacy’s HANDS are touching with her head at least six inches away.

Flair gives Batista a pep talk.

Tommy Dreamer vs. D’Lo Brown

Singapore Cane match. Before the match, Brown brings out Teddy Long to say that D’Lo isn’t going to be one of Dr. King’s followers because a lack of aggression never got him anywhere. Last night, Brown was held out of the Royal Rumble and tonight THE MAN has him in this violent match. Starting tonight, the WWE has to be down with the Brown. D’Lo: “Free at last, free at last, free to cane a white boy’s a**!”

Dreamer immediately starts caning away but hits the post by mistake. Brown was a few feet away but there’s no stretcher brought out. I smell racism. D’Lo canes him a few times, then Dreamer canes him a few times. Tommy hits D’Lo’s head shaking legdrop and a DDT, only to dive into a cane to the ribs. The Sky High (the Low Down according to the way off JR) gives D’Lo the pin.

Rating: F. This was as good as a suddenly racist D’Lo Brown and Tommy Dreamer caning each other for three and a half minutes was going to be. Long is a big improvement for the angle but there’s only so much he can do with something this stupid. There was no reason for this to be a cane match but at least Brown won.

Batista vs. Scott Steiner

It’s a power match to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Steiner winning a battle of shoulders. Scott hammers away in the corner and actually uses a belly to belly. I’d have bet on that one being banned. It’s so offensive that Randy Orton runs in for the DQ.

Steiner beats up Flair but Batista breaks up the Recliner. HHH comes in as well and beats Scott down (JR: “WHAT ABOUT THE NOTE FROM THE DOCTOR???”) with the help of his new buddies. Steiner is busted open and Pedigreed, drawing a face pop. The new team (no name yet) poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. This was horrible and it’s getting clearer and clearer every single week that something really needs to change around here. Above all else, bring back the Intercontinental Title. These matches are just coming and going because there’s nothing for most of them to fight over. They’re just filling in time with nothing feuds and stories (D’Lo Brown, Test, Hurricane vs. Richards, Booker T./Goldust and so on) because HHH can only fight one guy at a time.

Other than that though, you barely have any good wrestling and now we’re setting up for No Way Out which will feature a rematch of one of the worst matches ever and Steve Austin, who was a shell of himself eight or so months ago and could be even worse now. On top of that, you know it’s a bad time when your top face can’t be trusted to go two minutes in the main event of Raw. This show is in a massive need of a shot of blood or anything for that matter, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 19, 2017: Hedunit, Lackeys as Bears and ROAR

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 19, 2017
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

As you might have heard before, tonight is all about Roman Reigns, who is going to be announcing what he wants to do at August’s Summerslam. While this is likely wanting a World Title shot, I’d be stunned if it didn’t actually end with Braun Strowman interrupting and getting the match with Reigns at Great Balls of Fire instead. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open things up. Roman says the fans won’t like to hear this, but he can’t be beaten one on one. Ask Bray Wyatt, Finn Balor, Seth Rollins and Braun Strowman. Oh and remember he main evented his third Wrestlemania in a row, where he retired the Undertaker. Reigns doesn’t care who he faces but he’s getting the Universal Title shot at Summerslam.

This brings out Samoa Joe to say he didn’t hear his name mentioned on that list of people Reigns has beaten. Joe introduces himself but Reigns says he agrees with Paul Heyman: Joe will never be Samoa Joe, but rather Just Joe. As in the guy that Brooklyn Brawler beat clean once? The fight is on with Joe being Superman Punched to the floor. This was VERY heelish from Reigns, especially the main eventing Wrestlemania line.

Hardys vs. Anderson and Gallows

The brothers take turns on Gallows’ arm and Poetry in Motion gets two. Jeff gets sent hard into the corner though and we take an early break. Back with Jeff getting kicked in the face and armbarred. Jeff kicks Anderson away but Gallows is right there to break up the hot tag attempt.

The hog tag works a few seconds later and it’s Matt coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down with Anderson rolling Matt up for two. A right hand to Matt’s jaw sets up the Boot of Doom for a close two, leaving Jeff to dropkick Anderson. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton gives Jeff the pin at 10:31.

Rating: C. I’m not sure how many more times these two teams plus Sheamus and Cesaro can trade wins but I have a feeling we’ll be finding out for weeks to come. Hopefully the Revival gets into the title picture soon as they’re easily the best tag team around today. The match was about as good as you would expect it to be from these guys but at least the fans care about the Hardys.

Goldust challenges R-Truth for next week.

Here’s Elias Samson to tune his guitar but it’s Finn Balor making a quick interruption for his match.

Finn Balor vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas jumps him before the bell and chokes away on the ropes, followed by a running knee to the head for two. Balor comes back with the Pele and a series of strikes, including the kick from the apron. Dallas is sent hard into the barricade a few times and it’s the Sling Blade into the Coup de Grace for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. Balor was showing some aggression there and it’s always nice to see him get a win. That being said, it’s not like he has anything going on at the moment because WWE is focusing on Samoa Joe at the moment while Seth Rollins and Bray Wyatt have Bray’s latest lame feud. I’m sure they’ll find something for Balor, but he’s not getting the title back until after Wrestlemania, which makes a lot of the commentary about how he’s almost there sound stupid.

Corey Graves has to run off and deal with something.

Video on Seth Rollins being the cover star for WWE2K18.

The announcers discuss Carmella winning the Money in the Bank briefcase with help from James Ellsworth.

Corey comes in to see Kurt Angle and says he knows he had a bad Father’s Day. Angle looks taken aback but Graves says he got the same message. Enzo and Big Cass come in with Angle wanting to know why Enzo tweeted something to Conor McGregor. That goes nowhere so they talk about who has been attacking Enzo and Cass. It might have been Revival, Enzo himself or Big Show. Angle promises to find out who did it tonight.

Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about being on the cover of the game. He brings up his heel turn from a few years back and everything it brought him. The problem was he couldn’t look in the mirror. Now he’s on the cover of the game and it’s his second chance. This cover belongs to both himself and the fans because it’s THEIR cover.

Cue Bray Wyatt to talk about how he feels the struggle in Seth’s soul. Seth is still conforming to whatever the people want and he’s just not that man. Rollins says he’s THE man and lists off some accomplishments. Bray says he’s here and blows out the lantern before coming out to the ring. Thankfully Seth is smart enough to dive on Bray as he walks very slowly to the ring.

Graves praises Angle’s job as GM and stands by him during his personal issues.

Balor wants the Universal Title back and thinks Roman is tough enough to take down Joe tonight. Samson jumps Balor from behind and tells him to never upstage him again. D-Von Dudley (an agent if that wasn’t clear) chases Samson off.

Akira Tozawa vs. TJP

Rematch from 205 Live. Hang on a second as Titus O’Neil comes out to say we need to really hype the match up, meaning he’ll handle the introductions. TJP flips over Tozawa to start but gets rolled up for two. A top rope dive misses Tozawa again but the backsplash hits knees. Cue Neville to say neither of these two are the next Cruiserweight Champion as we take a break.

Back with TJP keeping Tozawa on the mat, followed by the springboard forearm into the nipup. We hit an arm trap chinlock before Tozawa sends him to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and TJP grabs a double chickenwing gutbuster but gets kicked in the face, setting up the top backsplash for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: C+. Thanks for taking away my only reason for watching 205 Live people. I know the show doesn’t mean anything but if I just have to wait six days before seeing the same match on Raw, I really don’t need to watch the thing in the first place. At least Tozawa vs. Neville, which will likely happen on pay per view and not 205 Live, will be good.

Post match Titus talks about how awesome his Brand is and how Tozawa will be the next Cruiserweight Champion. Neville is tired of hearing about it so Tozawa needs to tread lightly.

R-Truth accepts Goldust’s challenge.

Curtis Axel tries to cheer Bo up when Miz comes in to talk about how bad they’ve been lately. They were in the Marine 5 together and Miz made them stars. He can do it again here on Raw.

Samoa Joe thinks Reigns needs to learn his name because Joe beat him in his Raw debut.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

They trade shoulders to start with no one going anywhere. Joe gets punched to the floor through and stays outside for a breather. Back in and Joe knocks him to the floor for a change, followed by a few headbutts with shouts of WHAT’S MY NAME. They head outside yet again with Reigns being sent into the post and barricade as we go to a break.

Back with Joe dropping an elbow and grabbing a chinlock. A backsplash hits knees though (meaning ANOTHER crowd reaction shot, which have been on steroids tonight) and Reigns makes his comeback with the ten clotheslines in the corner. The Superman Punch is countered into an atomic drop into the boot, followed by a backsplash for two. Joe gets back up and eats a Superman Punch for two more but still manages to block the spear.

There’s the Rock Bottom for another near fall so Joe is tired of the messing around. The Koquina Clutch has Reigns in trouble but he backs into the corner and hits the spear to send Joe outside. Roman loads up another spear but he’s an ambulance backing into the building. Naturally Braun Strowman is inside for one heck of a face pop and the distraction lets Joe grab the Koquina Clutch for the tap at 18:37.

Rating: B. Good, solid heavyweight slugfest here and that’s what the show needed. Strowman returning is a good idea, though that face pop is likely just going to annoy Vince even further and give Reigns more of a push. The match was fun and a good example of the right way to end a match. Reigns looks strong and gets his feud with Strowman advanced while Joe still gets the win.

Post match Strowman comes out and gives Reigns a reverse chokeslam. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” Strowman challenges Reigns to an ambulance match at Great Balls of Fire pay per view. As opposed to Great Balls of Fire: a Spike Lee Joint.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz apologizing to Maryse. He has two bears and a big present for her, plus champagne. Maryse comes out with Miz guaranteeing her that he’s checked the bears out and they’re fine. The present is the restored grandfather clock, which he repaired in their garage when she made him sleep on the couch. Maryse seems to forgive him when Dean Ambrose comes out.

Miz hides behind her, sending the champagne onto Maryse’s face. Dean keeps going by sending Miz into the clock to break it again. That’s enough for Maryse who slaps Miz and storms off, only to have the bears attack Ambrose. Naturally they’re Dallas and Axel and the beatdown is on with Miz helping out via a Skull Crushing Finale.

Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Apollo Crews/Titus O’Neil

Non-title. Crews dropkicks Cesaro down to start but eats a right hand for his efforts. Apollo takes a bit of a beating in the corner until an enziguri drops Cesaro. Titus comes in and clotheslines Sheamus in the corner, followed by Apollo’s standing moonsault for two. A cheap shot sets up the assisted White Noise to put Crews away at 4:11.

Rating: D. At this point, we’re just filling in time instead of putting the women on this show for some reason. The match was about what you would expect, though I’m still not sure if Titus is a face or a heel. Giving Cesaro and Sheamus a win like this isn’t the worst idea in the world though as it gave us something fresh, which is definitely something good at this point.

Long video on Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar with both guys talking about the amount of violence we’ll be seeing at the pay per view. Good stuff.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Alexa Bliss comes out for commentary and we’re joined in progress with Banks hitting the knees to the back. Cue Emma to yell at Bliss and then chase her into the ring. Bliss hides behind Jax so Emma kicks her in the ribs for the DQ at 1:11.

It’s a big brawl with Mickie James and Dana Brooke coming in as well. Bayley finally comes in and really cleans house, including a middle rope bulldog to Jax. The good women, as in Bayley/Banks/Brooke/James in this case, stand tall.

Here’s Angle to announce the attacker. He brings out Enzo, Cass, Revival and Big Show to really set the stage. Angle starts with Big Show, who says he’d fight someone face to face. If Angle thinks he did it, maybe he doesn’t need to be on Raw anymore. Show leaves and Cass is very happy until Kurt cuts him off to talk about Revival. Angle says it wasn’t them because enough referees and agents saw the two of them elsewhere.

Corey Graves says he has some information though. A few moments ago Cass said he had a golf ball sized lump on the back of his head, but the medical team said they never treated him. Cass starts backtracking but Graves has security footage. We see Cass staging the scene of the crime and laying on the ground like he’s unconscious. Cass admits he did it and yells about how tired he is of Enzo running his mouth about whatever he’s always talking about. No one behind the curtain likes Enzo and Cass felt bad for him.

Cass finally snapped and it felt good to lay Enzo out from behind. He unloads on Enzo for all the years of having to put up with him and wanted to see how smart Enzo really was. It turns out that Enzo is even dumber than he looks and nothing but dead weight holding Cass down. All Enzo does is have his mouth write checks that he can’t cash but now Cass isn’t behind him anymore. Enzo gets kicked in the head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show didn’t do much to hide the fact that Great Balls of Fire is just a placeholder show. When they’re already setting up stuff for Summerslam and we’re still nearly three weeks away from Great Balls of Fire, you can tell the show means absolutely nothing. Now that being said, some of the stuff they’ve set up is interesting enough, but don’t waste your time believing that this is going to mean anything long term. That’s been the case for years in WWE but it doesn’t make things any easier to get through.

Results

Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows

Finn Balor b. Bo Dallas – Coup de Graces

Akira Tozawa b. TJP – Top rope backsplash

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns – Koquina Clutch

Sheamus/Cesaro b. Apollo Crews/Titus O’Neil – Assisted White Noise to Crews

Nia Jax b. Sasha Banks via DQ when Emma interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 13, 2003 (2017 Redo): This Was So Bad I Can’t Be Sarcastic About It

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 13, 2003
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw before Sunday’s Royal Rumble and hopefully we actually hear a few more names for the Rumble itself. However, we’re lucky enough to get more of HHH vs. Scott Steiner without having them actually doing anything physical. Throw in more of Bischoff as McMahon and the show could manage to set new standards for horrible. Above all else though, Vince McMahon is here tonight and that makes for some drama. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely are in the back waiting for Vince. Earl Hebner comes up to complain about referee treatment and says the word strike has been mentioned. The Chief goes off to deal with that when Steiner comes up behind Bischoff. Scott wants to fight HHH tonight but Bischoff sets up a bench press contest instead. You can imagine how Steiner reacts.

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jacqueline

Victoria is defending and this is a hardcore match. You know, that thing that they banned from Raw last year until they forgot about it a week later. There are trashcans full of weapons at the corners, including a cardboard cutout of Trish. Victoria spends too much time ripping the thing up so Jackie beats on her, only to botch a headscissors. Instead of flipping over, Victoria fell backwards, making it look closer to a spinning crossbody rather than a headscissors. Much like last week, this isn’t thrilling me with confidence for 2003.

Steven Richards low bridges Jackie to the floor, accidentally allowing Trish to fire off some kendo stick shots. A few swings of a trashcan lid put Trish down but she avoids a moonsault. Jackie gets some ice cold near falls but gets pulled to the floor and send into the barricade. Victoria sends Trish face first into the ropes where Richards…..grazes her shoulder with the lid to give Victoria the pin. This was down there with the Jackie Gayda vs. Trish portions of that mixed tag as they managed to blow almost every big spot of a match that didn’t even last two and a half minutes.

Trish and Jackie beat up the villains for a bit until Steven takes them both out. The Hurricane of all people makes the save.

The Dudleys yell at Bischoff and beat up Morely. Eric fires them so Bubba threatens to go to Smackdown. Hang on a sec then as Bischoff rescinds the firing and suspends them instead.

Maven/Test vs. Christopher Nowinski/D’Lo Brown

Thankfully Brown is back to his normal look. Let that sink in for a second: the Testicles joke can survive for months but that stupid gimmick didn’t even make it three weeks. Test gets clotheslined down to start and we’re in an early double teaming. The comeback takes even less time and Maven comes in for a double elbow to Nowinski’s jaw. Brown gets in a Stunner over the top rope and Nowinski adds a sloppy spinebuster.

The bad guys take turns beating on Maven with Nowinski showing off that Tough Enough style offense. Brown hits a hard clothesline as this is still going for no apparent reason. We hit an armbar for a bit until Maven gets over to Test for the house cleaning. The Test Drive drops Nowinski but Test’s big boot (Test: “BOOT!”) misses. Brown hits the Sky High on Maven but that’s not the legal man so there’s no count. A Stacy distraction lets Test get in the big boot for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s not that the match was bad but sweet pickles on popsicle sticks it was dull. Maven and Nowinski are glorified jobbers and because of some reality show, we’re stuck watching them almost every week. Nowinski is further along with the Harvard stuff but that’s not exactly saying much.

Bischoff goes up to a limousine but finds Gene Okerlund, who is in town for Raw X. Insults are exchanged and Gene says if Bischoff was smarter, we’d be having a Nitro reunion. I believe he’s going for “Nitro would still be around” but who am I to doubt Mean Gene? The limo takes Gene away and Chris Jericho comes in, begging to be #1 in the Royal Rumble. Eric says go win the over the top rope challenge and they’ll talk.

F-View (That’s still a thing?) shows William Regal insulting Lawler’s book before their match tonight. Regal tells Lance Storm that he has the brass knuckles ready. Did this really need to be on a hidden camera?

Jerry Lawler vs. William Regal

Storm comes out with Regal and Lawler isn’t happy. Before get get going, Regal reads a section of his book about Lawler’s sex life. Three referees come out to check Regal and find his knuckles. Storm gets checked as well, despite not being in the match. Storm has knuckles as well (brass ones, not the ones on his hand) and gets ejected. During the melee, Lawler pulls out a chain to knock Regal cold, only to get caught and disqualified. Keep in mind that Regal and Storm won the Tag Team Titles last week because they NEEDED the belts for this bit you see. I have no idea why but they certainly needed them.

Lawler says he’s still the king.

Raven vs. Jeff Hardy

The winner gets to be the final Raw Royal Rumble entrant. Who are the other fourteen? Well that’s not important at the moment. What is important is Raven having a huge haircut and trunks instead of his usual gear. Jeff grabs some early rollups for two each before they both fall out to the floor.

Raven wraps the knee around the post though and Jeff is in fast trouble. That lasts all of ten seconds before Jeff sends him into the corner, only to miss a moonsault. We hit a spinning toehold for a bit before Jeff goes with the usual for the comeback. The Raven Effect is broken up and a Swanton to the thighs is enough to give Jeff the pin.

Rating: C-. They were working harder than you would expect out there but the idea of Hardy vs. Raven for a spot in the Rumble isn’t exactly the highest level of drama. I don’t remember the last time Raven had a match on Raw while Jeff at least still has some star power, which always helps.

Vince arrives, doesn’t say much to Bischoff, and slaps Orton’s 94% shoulder. He slaps the shoulder though and Orton cringes in a good bit.

Sean O’Haire vignette, talking about how you should have an affair.

Here’s Vince for his big announcement but cue the Dudleys before he can say anything. They get straight to the point and ask for the suspension to be overturned and Vince says okey dokey. Oh and they can have a title shot on Sunday. Again: Booker T. and Goldust continue to look like nothing despite being one of the most popular teams in recent memory.

Bubba and D-Von leave but here’s Jericho to interrupt. Chris sucks up a bit before asking if he can be #1 in the Rumble. Vince tells him to shut up and says the winner of tonight’s over the top rope challenge gets to pick any number in the Rumble, save for #1 which Shawn Michaels has already taken. As usual, WWE seems to think that #1 is better than #2 for reasons likely used to praise Shawn’s 1995 performance even more. With Jericho gone, Vince gets cut off AGAIN, this time by Bischoff.

Vince almost immediately tells him to shut up because he’s here to make an announcement for the anniversary special. However, it’s time for a public job evaluation. While the people don’t think Bischoff is doing well, Vince thinks Eric is doing quite well. After praising him, Vince goes into a long explanation for how Eric hasn’t done anything he was hired for. Therefore, Eric has thirty days to turn Raw around or he’s fired. In other words, Raw sucks and needs to change but it might be another month.

Post break Vince is leaving with Eric groveling. Vince already has a replacement in mind though and here’s Shane to stare Bischoff down.

Booker T. vs. Lance Storm

Booker headlocks him to start and hits a hard clothesline, followed by a knee drop for two. The spinning sunset flip out of the corner is broken up but Storm can’t get in the Sharpshooter. They trade a few shots until Storm grabs a backbreaker and slaps on a chinlock. Booker fights up and hits a few chops before the referee gets bumped. Regal and Goldust get in a fight on the floor as the Dudleys run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was a perfectly acceptable match until that ridiculous finish. There was no mention of Booker and Goldust getting their rematch and it really does seem that their time as contenders to the titles is over. The Dudleys were shoved into this spot for no apparent reason, especially when Goldust and Booker have issues with Bischoff dating back to their feud with 3 Minute Warning.

A bunch of big Smackdown names (Edge, Lesnar, Angle) are at The World.

Hurricane vs. Steven Richards

Trish is with Hurricane. Richards goes right for him to start but the StevieDT is countered with a suplex. The women get in a fight and the Eye of the Hurricane ends Richards at less than ninety seconds.

Trish and Hurricane clean house after the match.

Nathan Jones video.

Pay per view rundown, which does include fifteen Raw names. Now other than Shawn Michaels, the biggest name is Chris Jericho and it falls off a cliff from there, but there are fifteen.

It’s time for the bench press challenge with Steiner coming out first. He’s tired of these games because he’s beaten HHH at every challenge so far. Scott wants 585lbs to start and after a break but before the first lift, here’s HHH in a suit. Instead of stopping at the bench press, HHH goes to the ring to talk about how he’s the best wrestler in the world and none of this other stuff matters. Again, STOP TELLING US THAT WE’VE BEEN WASTING OUR TIME WATCHING YOUR SHOW!

HHH lists off all the names he’s destroyed and promises to make an example of Steiner, just like he has with everyone else. Steiner comes to the ring and the fight is on with Scott getting the better of it and ripping HHH’s suit off. This leaves HHH in….eh about the same look he regularly wrestles in. I’m assuming this is a takeoff of the Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair angle, which of course lead to a masterpiece. Something (common sense perhaps) tells me that won’t be the case here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Over the top rope challenge (four man battle royal) and the winner can pick any number, save for #1, in the Rumble. JR gets his history wrong by saying Shawn won the Royal Rumble in 1995 and went on to win the main event of Wrestlemania that year. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Jericho saving Batista for no apparent reason.

Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post as the power guys brawl on the other side. There’s not much going on here as they’re barely trying for eliminations and are just beating each other up. Jericho dives at Kane, who can’t catch him, but does pick him up a few seconds later.

Rob is finally sent to the apron, only to come back in with a top rope boot to the face. Rolling Thunder connects on Jericho and Batista shoulders Kane down. Jericho saves Batista from a chokeslam and Kane is clotheslined to the floor. The Batista Bomb plants Jericho but Rob kicks Batista out. Ever the brilliant one, Rob goes up but Batista crotches him, allowing Jericho to get the win.

Rating: F. So we had botches in a bad match that had no heat. This is what they decided to use to close the show and somehow that’s the better way to wrap it up instead of the HHH vs. Steiner nonsense. The match was little more than a long segment as the wrestlers weren’t even trying for eliminations most of the time. Terrible match.

Jericho picks the #2 spot so here’s Shawn to throw him over the top to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. That’s one of the worst go home shows I’ve seen them put together in a very long time. There wasn’t a good match, the angles that they’re advancing had almost nothing to do with the Royal Rumble (the Women’s Title isn’t on the line, Hurricane isn’t even in the Rumble and Lawler is Lawler) and the big story is about two guys not wrestling, mainly out of fear for how bad it could be. This is really their big way to start not only the year but build to the Royal Rumble? It’s going to be a very long 2003.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 12, 2017: No Roman, No….Well It Still Had Problems But Different Ones.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 12, 2017
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

It’s a big night as Brock Lesnar is back on the show for the first time since winning the Universal Title nearly two and a half months ago. That means we’re getting ready for his first title defense against Samoa Joe in about a month, which has been enhanced by Samoa Joe choking out Lesnar’s advocate Paul Heyman. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Samoa Joe attacking Heyman last week to send Lesnar a message. That’s still the perfect way to set the match up.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman to get things going with Paul saying it’s time for some revenge. Now last week, Samoa Joe attacked Heyman and Paul gets why that’s the case. Sometimes he certainly deserves it but that wasn’t true last week. Last week, Heyman saw someone that could go man to beast with Brock.

There have been a lot of Samoans in wrestling but Joe is the outcast one. For some reason he’s not treated the same and his biggest claim to fame is choking Heyman out. Heyman agrees that the Koquina Clutch was everything that Joe promised it would be. That made Heyman wonder what would happen to the title if Brock was ever caught in that hold. Then Heyman realized that’s not a problem because Joe isn’t man enough to get the hold on Brock Lesnar.

Cue Joe to headbutt Lesnar right in the face as the brawl is on. Security is sent out and dispatched just as fast so here’s the locker room (or at least the midcard) to try again. That goes just as badly with Joe breaking away to superkick Joe right in the jaw. The fight is finally broken up and things settle down. This was an outstanding start but there’s one thing: none of this matters if Brock is lazy and just does suplexes into an F5 at the pay per view. Make it a competitive match where they beat the heck out of each other and things will be fine. Just don’t make it a squash, please.

Back with a replay because of course.

Here’s Elias Samson to sing a song running down both Louisiana and Dean Ambrose.

Elias Samson vs. Dean Ambrose

They brawl into the corner to start with Booker praising Samson every chance he can. An elbow to the face and chop send Samson to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ambrose caught in a chinlock before fighting up with more elbows to the face. A fisherman’s suplex is good for two on Samson and the suicide dive makes things even worse.

Back in and Dean breaks up a superplex attempt, only to have Miz come out for a distraction. Samson’s rollup gets two but Dean goes after Miz and Maryse. The distraction is good for a nine count with Samson kneeing Dean in the back as he comes back in. Samson’s swinging neckbreaker is good for the pin on Ambrose at 11:49.

Rating: C. Samson is being treated as a big deal (certainly a bigger deal than he was in NXT) and that’s a good thing. Ambrose isn’t going to be hurt by screwy finishes like this one so just let him talk his way right back to his normal spot. Miz vs. Ambrose has been done to death but there’s a good chance they’ll blow the whole thing off at the pay per view.

Goldust says he and R-Truth were never friends or brothers. No one ever understood him and he’s going to make them all very uncomfortable.

Kurt Angle yells at Miz, who brings up Kurt’s personal problems. Miz wants Angle to do something about Dean but Angle says do it yourself.

Video on Cedric Alexander.

Noam Dar is in the back when Cedric comes up to say he’s done with Dar and Alicia Fox. It turns out that Alicia is talking to Alicia on Skype and she wants Cedric to say things to his face. Alexander says this ends tonight. Didn’t he just say he was already done with it?

Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar

Dar brings his phone to the ring where Fox is still yelling at him. For some reason this goes over the arena’s audio system with Alicia saying he’s making her neck hurt. As for the match, the bell rings and the Lumbar Check ends Dar at 6 seconds.

Next week, Roman Reigns will announce his plans for Summerslam. Isn’t it a bit early for that? Eh not for Reigns of course.

Bray Wyatt wants to break things.

Here’s Wyatt to talk about how people shouldn’t deny him like Seth Rollins has done. Seth lives in a glass house and a single shout brought it all crashing down. This brings out Rollins, who says he was speaking the truth when he called Wyatt a false prophet. If Bray is that disturbed by what Seth said, do something about it. Bray says Seth is beneath him and that Rollins doesn’t want this fight. The lights go out again and Bray is gone. They go out again and Bray is on the screen, saying Seth can slay a king but not a god.

The Hardys are ready to get their titles back.

Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews

Because WWE doesn’t know how to end a feud. Titus O’Neil is at ringside and has Akira Tozawa in the front row to help recruit him to the Titus Brand. You know, because he couldn’t get tickets on his own. Kalisto does his handstand walk but Crews dropkicks him down. We hit a front facelock as Tozawa is plugging his ears to avoid listening to Titus. Kalisto’s hurricanrana driver gets two, followed by Crews’ Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 2:16.

Tozawa is thrown into the ring and forced to take a picture. He doesn’t look pleased.

Miz comes up to Heath Slater and Rhyno (who are eating cheese and crackers) to offer the former a spot in his entourage. Slater seems intrigued in exchange for an Intercontinental Title shot. Rhyno doesn’t like this and tells Miz to get a partner for a tag match later.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat….but she’s quickly cut off by a ticked off Nia Jax. Alexa’s tone changes in a hurry and she talks about wanting to give Nia a great match that people would talk about for years. It was Mickie James and Dana Brooke that messed things up though. This brings out Mickie and Dana to call Bliss out for saying they all have a Nia Jax problem.

Bliss doesn’t want to hear it because she’s above the two of them but here’s Emma to say it’s her time. Alexa says this is what she’s talking about and tries to get Nia on her side, only to have Sasha Banks come out as well. She wants to show Bliss how a Boss throws a party and decks Alexa in the face. The brawl is on and we take a break.

Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma vs. Dana Brooke/Mickie James/Sasha Banks

Well duh. Joined in progress with Bliss holding Dana in a chinlock until it’s off to Emma. Dana stops a charge with a raised boot but Emma kicks her in the ribs to cut off a tag attempt. That lasts all of three seconds as it’s off to Sasha for the house cleaning. Emma tries to tag off to Alexa but the champ drops to the floor and walks out. Mickie dives onto Nia and Sasha grabs the Bank Statement to make Emma tap at 3:29.

Rating: D+. At least they kept it short. These matches don’t really do much for me as they’re just throwing everything together for the sake of having everyone in the match. The teams only make a bit of sense but at least they said Angle set them up. It’s not horrible but this is your standard WWE booking formula, which isn’t the best thing in the world.

The announcers talk about Money in the Bank.

Video on Finn Balor.

Bayley sat down with Corey Graves earlier today to talk about her loss at Extreme Rules. Bayley says she’s always going to be herself and do what’s best for herself no matter what. As for her future, she wants to get her title back and walk into Wrestlemania defending it again next year. The fans need to know that they can do it their way, which is what she wants everyone to know. To wrap it up, Bayley hugs Graves, who looks a bit disturbed. Graves: “I need a cigarette.”

Miz/??? vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Miz doesn’t have a partner…..so here’s a bear on a tricycle. The bear scratches itself on the post and distracts Slater so he can grab a rollup for two. An armbar doesn’t get him very far so it’s off to the bear for a staredown. Heath doesn’t think much of it so the bear paws him (one of Cole’s many jokes) a few times.

It’s back to Miz, who beats the bear up. The head is taken off to reveal…..a no name. Back in and Miz gets beaten down again, only to have the bear come back in with the head on. Miz is sent into Maryse, who walks out on the match. Of course it’s Dean Ambrose underneath the match this time and Dirty Deeds gives Heath the pin at 6:30. Total comedy that advanced the story.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t a match but a comedy segment that had wrestling involved. That being said, I had a good time with this one because it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than what it was. Just have some fun out there and advance a story with something that had been set up earlier in the story.

Video on the Hardys returning and winning/losing the Tag Team Titles.

Neville vs. Rich Swann

Non-title and Neville jumps Swann during his dancing. The Rings of Saturn go on and there’s no match.

Neville lists off the people he’s destroyed and wants to know how many more names he has to beat up before he gets his respect. That brings him to Akira Tozawa, who has been getting his attention as of late. If Tozawa keeps doing this though, he’s going to have to bend his knee as well.

Cesaro and Sheamus say they are the bar.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Hang on as Cass is down again (you can see Revival walking through the background) with Enzo running up to check on him. Cass says it was one shot to the back of his head but he’ll be out there anyway. After Anderson and Gallows get in some mocking, the match starts anyway. Cass is clearly shaken up as he beats Anderson up. It’s off to Enzo as Cass is knocked off the apron again. Enzo fights back but gets superkicked out of the air, setting up the Magic Killer for the pin at 2:27.

Big Show comes out to break up the post match beatdown. Cass isn’t cool with Show helping Enzo up.

Post break Enzo asks Show if he attacked Cass because not many people could take Cass out with one shot. Show calls Cass S-A-W-F-T.

We recap the opening segment.

Samoa Joe is ready to choke Brock out. Again, this is Joe looking serious and sounding like he can back it up. He’s also not being presented as scared of Brock, which is a rare thing.

Next week, Roman Reigns will announce his Summerslam plans. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardys

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and this is 2/3 falls. An early Brogue Kick misses and it’s Poetry in Motion to set up the Side Effect for two on Sheamus. Jeff tries to jump over Sheamus and gets Brogue Kicked for the first fall at 1:11. If my sources are right, that’s the first time the Hardys have been pinned in a tag match since November 2014.

Back from a break with Jeff still in trouble until he kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag off to Matt. The DELETE chants strike up as Matt sends Cesaro into each buckle ten times. A tornado DDT gets two and the Twist of Fate ties things up at 8:51 (total, including the first fall).

Everything breaks down in a hurry for the third fall with Jeff getting kneed in the face for two. Cesaro takes Matt down into the Sharpshooter but Jeff makes a save. The European uppercut gets another near fall on Jeff as Matt is driven into the barricade. Jeff gets in a quick Swanton but Cesaro makes the save at two. Everyone brawls to the floor and the third fall is a double countout at 15:25.

Rating: B. I’m really not sure where they’re going with this (as in I don’t know what the next gimmick will be) but this actually got me a bit more into the feud than I had been before. It’s still not the most thrilling stuff in the world but they were beating each other up here and had me interested in where it was going, which is a lot more than I can say for most feuds these days.

The Hardys beat them up a bit more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was….different, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. First of all, the show didn’t really have one big story and kept going around to different topics instead of focusing on one. The main event was treated like a big deal but Joe vs. Lesnar was done in the first fifteen minutes and the next major story was over the midcard title.

It felt like a throwaway show, which it probably was given the NBA Finals being on TV again. Of course that’s likely going to be used as a way to prove Roman’s drawing power, but that’s life in WWE. The show wasn’t good but it was watchable and felt a bit different, which might be the best thing I can say about it.

Results

Elias Samson b. Dean Ambrose – Swinging neckbreaker

Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar – Lumbar Check

Apollo Crews b. Kalisto – Toss powerbomb

Dana Brooke/Mickie James/Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma – Bank Statement to Emma

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Miz/Bear – Dirty Deeds to Miz

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Magic Killer to Amore

Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Hardys went to a draw

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 6, 2003 (2017 Redo): Who Says Nitro Is Gone?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 6, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and somehow we’re stuck with Scott Steiner vs. HHH for the Raw World Title because HHH needs to make it clear that he has the best body in the world. Well the world of wrestling that is. Other than that we have Booker T. and Goldust as the Tag Team Champions, but far more importantly D’Lo Brown being held back by the man. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s HHH vs. Steiner arm wrestling contest. How manly it was.

The Dudleys come out for a match but here are Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely to say we’re changing things up a bit. We see a package on Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler beating Lance Storm/William Regal thanks to Bubba and D-Von. Bischoff says this is going to be his year so let’s start with a handicap match.

3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boyz

Ric Flair is with Batista (confirmed for the Rumble) for a bonus. It’s a brawl to start (of course) with Jamal being sent outside and Rico eating a very early 3D for two with Batista making the save. Even Chief Morely comes down for some right hands to Bubba as things finally settle down with Batista beating on D-Von.

The spinebuster looks to finish but the referee won’t count for some reason. Bischoff comes in and demands the count, only to have Batista pull him up at two. Bubba comes back in and slugs away but Rosey suplexes him down. Flair grabs a Figure Four and Jamal adds a top rope splash to crush Bubba again. The Batista Bomb finally ends D-Von.

Rating: D-. I guess this is the latest Corporation knockoff and the Dudleys are supposed to be important enough to be the adversaries. I’m not sure how bright it is to start a brand new year with something like this, especially with Steiner vs. HHH as the big story on top. Obviously not really even a match but no one ever accused Raw of being a wrestling show at this point.

Regal and Storm come out to yell at JR and Lawler before heading to the ring to beat on the Dudleys even more.

Flair tells HHH that the project is coming along nicely. HHH goes on about how awesome he is and brags about his physique. That physique has been featured on the cover of Flex Magazine but Steiner comes in to answer HHH’s challenge for a posedown later tonight.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Victoria/Molly Holly

Victoria runs Jackie over to start and it’s quickly off to Molly for the handspring elbow in the corner. Trish tries to come in but the distraction just lets the villains put Jackie in a camel clutch/Boston crab combination. That goes nowhere since it would likely kill Jackie so it’s off to Trish for the house cleaning. A rollup has Victoria pinned but Steven Richards turns it over so Victoria can grab the tights for the pin.

Rating: D. The wrestling isn’t exactly off to a good start this year. This was your standard women’s tag match of the day, meaning it just kind of kept going as we keep waiting until we can get to Victoria vs. Trish for the title again. Or until Lita can return from injury, which is the real long term solution.

Booker T. and Goldust don’t like the idea of the Year of Bischoff and laugh at the idea of humiliating the boss.

Bischoff is livid and makes Booker/Goldust vs. Storm/Regal for later.

Here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. He wants to be back in the main event of Wrestlemania so he can regain the World Title. Jericho doesn’t care who he faces to win the title back because he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Cue Shawn Michaels to say he understands the idea of needing to be the best.

Jericho thinks he’s the best and Shawn isn’t going to dispute that. What Jericho needs is the validation from everyone in the arena, everyone watching this TV show and everyone in the back to know he’s the best. To do that, Jericho needs to volunteer to be the #1 entrant in the Rumble. Chris brings up the 1995 Rumble with Shawn lasting from beginning to end (details left out, as you might expect) because Shawn has to make everything about himself.

That brings Jericho to beating Austin and Rock in the same night because Shawn never beat either of them. Shawn cuts him off and says if Jericho won’t enter at #1, he will. A fight is teased but RNN BREAKING NEWS brings out Randy Orton live. Orton has two points to make: his shoulder is up to 93% mobility but more importantly, he’s the NEW sexy boy. Shawn punches him in the face and the fight is on with Jericho stomping away. Rob Van Dam comes in but the numbers get to him, thanks to Christian running in as well. Kane makes the save. Good segment but a forced way to set up a likely tag match for later.

Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Goldust vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

Storm and Regal are challenging and stare Lawler and JR down during their entrance. Booker hammerlocks Storm to start and drops a knee to the chest. Bischoff looks miserable in his office as Goldust comes in to stay on the arm. It’s off to Regal to get his arm cranked a bit as well until Storm gets in a cheap shot to let the evil foreigners take over.

We’re already in the chinlock with Regal and Storm both taking turns keeping Booker in trouble. Since chinlocks are only going to get you so far, Booker is right back up and making the hot tag off to Goldust. The Hart Attack with a sidekick drops Storm but Regal kicks the referee to the floor with the champs quickly following him out.

Back from a break with Chief Morely taking over as referee because WWE referees are the weakest human beings alive. Not that it matters as Booker kicks Morely down, leaving no one to count the ax kick on Storm. A third referee comes in to count two and see the hot tag to Goldust as everything breaks down again.

Storm gets Goldust to charge into a clothesline as the challengers take over again. A knee to the back sets up a chinlock for all of a few seconds before it’s off to Booker to clean house. Morely pulls the third ref out though, allowing Regal to KO Booker with the knuckles for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. Just in case you thought something might be different in the second half of the show. This puts the villains up 3-0 as the Bischoff dominance continues. At least the match was entertaining due to the talent involved. It was your usual overbooked mess of a title change but you have to expect something like that, especially with people who HHH probably thinks doesn’t know how to work.

Regal and Storm thank Bischoff for the chance.

Raw Retro is Sable taking off the potato sack to reveal the swimsuit. The Raw Tenth Anniversary is next week. I’ll begin bracing now.

Test vs. Christopher Nowinski

Stacy Keibler and D’Lo Brown are the seconds here, the latter due to a really bad pre-match promo. Apparently Stacy and the referees are prejudiced against an intelligent black man. Nowinski: “Tonight, can I be down with the brown?” D’Lo offers an early distraction so Chris can send Test shoulder first into the post. Test fights out of an armbar and decks Brown, followed by a full nelson slam for two. The big boot is grabbed by Brown but Test hits the Roll of the Dice to end Nowinski anyway.

Brown hits a Sky High to take Test out.

Christian tells Jericho that he’s in the Rumble too, which Jericho thinks means he has an assistant. That’s not exactly what Christian had in mind so tensions are teased. Orton comes in and tells them to worry about Rob Van Dam and Kane tonight.

Scott Steiner was on a bodybuilding magazine too, albeit back in 2000.

Recap of the arm wrestling contest from two weeks ago.

HHH is warming up for the posedown. He’s still manly.

It’s posedown time with HHH now in a jacket, which is likely covered with all the oil he was rubbing over his chest. HHH talks about how awesome it is to be World Champion and picks six fans from the crowd to be judges for the contest. They just happen to be six guys sitting in the front row and happen to look like wrestlers themselves.

Coach has to call out three mandatory poses just like at Mr. Olympia. Steiner comes out and this is somehow still going despite not even starting yet. The pose three times each with Steiner getting far stronger of a reaction, despite HHH (the bodybuilding fanatic), likely dominating if you’re actually talking about real bodybuilding technique.

The judges give it to HHH unanimously so Steiner asks for a fan vote. Since HHH won’t do that, we’ll have a push-up contest instead. They get to about fifteen but the judges attack Steiner as HHH bails. Steiner beats the heck out of all of them to FINALLY end this segment after twenty minutes (counting the arm wrestling recap and HHH manliness segment).

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Orton and Michaels are in the respective corners. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys clearing the ring, followed by a running flip dive from Van Dam. Back in and Rob goes up, only to have an Orton distraction allow Christian to shove him off the top. The Canadians take over with Jericho getting in a belly to back and dropping some elbows.

We hit the double arm crank for a bit so Lawler asks JR if he thinks Orton is sexy. Thankfully Rob fights up before JR has to answer but Jericho sends him outside again. Orton’s latest attempt at interference earns him some Sweet Chin Music, only to have Chris send Shawn into the steps.

Back in and Rob kicks Christian away for the hot tag to Kane. A double suplex drops Christian and Jericho and the top rope clothesline makes things even worse. The Conchairto doesn’t work as the chairs only hit each other, leaving Shawn to pull Jericho to the floor. Back in and Van Dam kicks Christian into the chokeslam, followed by the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. They didn’t have time to do anything but the signature moves and a bunch of brawling here but that’s what you get when you have a freaking push-up contest in the previous segment. It’s nice to see some faces win for a change after a very long night of heel dominance.

Bischoff makes Regal vs. Lawler for next week but gets a phone call. Vince will be here next week.

Overall Rating: D-. This was a really rough one and one incredibly overbooked match is nowhere near enough to save the thing. It felt like I was watching an NWO episode of Nitro with heel dominance all night long, a VERY lengthy segment that set up a match with the potential to be a disaster and a lot of stuff that did nothing but fill in time. This show was really, really bad and it’s made even worse by the fact that we’re thirteen days from the Rumble and all of four names seem to have been announced. HHH vs. Steiner needs to happen already because the time dedicated to that really could be useful elsewhere.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 5, 2017: It Has To Work

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 5, 2017
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re past Extreme Rules and in a bit of a surprise, the new #1 contender is Samoa Joe, who will get to face Brock Lesnar in just over a month at Great Balls of Fire. Other than that…..yeah there isn’t really a lot to talk about, other than Cesaro and Sheamus winning the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last night’s main event. Makes sense in a long match.

Here’s Bray Wyatt to say that he was ready to slay the Beast but his sword was taken from him. The other four men in the match are all guilty and now it’s time to start his path back to the Beast.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

Before the match, Bray offers an alliance with Roman, who says this reaction is why he’s the guy. He punches Bray in the face and we’re ready to go. Sister Abigail and the Superman Punch both miss in the first thirty seconds and Bray is punched to the floor for a break. Back with Roman fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a DDT for two.

Another chinlock is broken up with a Samoan drop for two, only to have Bray send him into the post. A backsplash on the floor crushes Roman and takes us to our second break in eight minutes. Back again with Reigns sending him to the floor, only to get Rock Bottomed for two.

Bray takes him up to for some reason, only to have Roman slip out for a big sitout powerbomb. The Superman Punch gets two more but Bray rolls outside before the spear. That’s enough to set up the apron dropkick but Roman gets blasted with a clothesline. They’re both in at nine and Sister Abigail is countered into the spear for the pin at 19:38.

Rating: B. Well that was long. It was also annoying booking as they were seemingly building Bray up for a potential run at Lesnar but HAHA ROMAN WINS AGAIN! You know, because we have to keep the former three time World Champion strong in case the shine goes away. Bray gets to rebuild again while Reigns just keeps babbling about being THE GUY because people keep cheering/booing him at the same time.

Enzo Amore doesn’t know who attacked him and thinks he should sell ice cream. Cass doesn’t like the idea that people think it was him and promises to have Enzo’s back. Enzo stops to hit on Cathy Kelly, who doesn’t seem to mind.

Stills of Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss from last night.

Kurt Angle is in his office reading another incriminating text when Bliss comes in to hear some congratulations. When they don’t come, Bliss says she’s tired of Bayley so tonight it’s Alexa Bliss: This Is My Life. Angle says that’s terrible because last week’s segment was awful (it wasn’t THAT bad). Instead, tonight Bliss is defending against Nia Jax as she promised she would on last night’s pre-show.

Elias Samson sings about Dean Ambrose.

Dean Ambrose vs. Elias Samson

Ambrose comes out and hits him in the head to send Samson outside. Dean grabs the mic and says he wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Title right now. Miz comes up on the screen and says no because he has a celebration for later. The distraction lets Samson hit his swinging neckbreaker. No match.

Post break Angle makes Miz vs. Ambrose for some unspecified point in the future. As for tonight though, Ambrose needs to leave.

Here’s Samoa Joe to talk about Lesnar. Joe gets straight to the point: he isn’t afraid of Brock Lesnar but he does envy the way Lesnar gets to do things. He shows up and fights when he wants and has Paul Heyman to run his errands for him. This brings out Heyman to say that Samoa Joe is the next challenger. Lesnar doesn’t fear Joe but Heyman thinks Joe likes that.

We hear about Lesnar not being afraid of facing Undertaker, John Cena, Goldberg or any of his other challengers because that’s what Lesnar does. A few weeks ago, Heyman said he wanted to see Lesnar vs. Finn Balor because it’s a license to print money. Joe is the worst case scenario however because Joe doesn’t care.

Even if Lesnar successfully defends the title, Joe is going to take a piece of Brock with him. That being said, Heyman’s job is to make Lesnar Joe’s worst case scenario. They shake hands and Heyman goes to leave. Joe stops him though and whispers into Heyman’s ear that he’s about to choke Heyman out and render him unconscious. Before Joe does it though, he makes sure Heyman remembers it so he can tell Lesnar what’s coming for him. That’s exactly what Joe does and Heyman is left laying. Joe looked amazing here and that’s the kind of upgrade he needed before heading into the match with Lesnar.

Post break Angle gets in Joe’s face and says that can’t happen. Joe says he’ll do that to anyone who is in his way but all that matters is if Angle is in his way. Seth Rollins comes up with a challenge for later tonight. Angle makes the match.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Non-title. Sheamus sends Slater into the post to start and we’re in an early chinlock. Heath actually comes back with a kick to the face but Cesaro pulls Rhyno off the apron. The distraction is enough for a Brogue Kick to finish Slater at 1:43.

Sheamus says that’s how smart teams win and takes a quick poll on how happy the fans are for the win. They know the Hardys aren’t happy and there’s nothing that can be done. So the feud CONTINUES??? REALLY???

TJP runs into Neville and wants his promised title shot. Neville basically tells him to back off.

Mustafa Ali vs. TJP

Ali starts fast and snaps off a headscissors but TJP takes him down without too much effort. TJP takes him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT. It’s too early for the inverted 450 though, allowing TJP to hit the Detonation Kick for the pin at 2:40.

Post match Neville comes out to say there’s no shot. TJP wants to talk to Angle about this right now and gets his face slammed into the stage. Neville shouts that the title is on the line tomorrow night on 205 Live.

Goldust sees the bigger picture here and says the biggest names in Hollywood will be around soon because the Golden Age is back.

Mickie James, Dana Brooke and Sasha Banks are talking (like any three random women do) when Alexa comes up and wants to chat. By chat, she means turn them against Nia Jax. Sasha has already left but Mickie and Dana don’t seem to buy it. The two of them will be at ringside tonight.

The announcers talk about Bliss vs. Jax when Angle comes up to show Graves another text. They have a talk that we can’t hear and Graves goes back to the announcers’ desk, where he completely ignores Cole’s questions about what just happened.

Angle won’t talk about what happened, calling it a private matter. As he goes outside with his phone, Ambrose sneaks back in, with the Revival again being seen in the background.

Kalisto vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus accidentally cost Apollo Crews a match last night so he’s showing Apollo how it’s done. Kalisto gets sent into the corner and slammed down as we see Akira Tozawa of all people watching. Apparently he’s next in line to join the Titus Brand, though that’s from Titus himself. A fall away slam is countered into a rollup with trunks, only to have Kalisto reverse into one of his own, with a handful of trunks for the pin at 1:43.

Big Cass has been attacked. Enzo runs in and finds a gold chain in Cass’ hand. Post break, Enzo blames Revival and says they need to have their match. The referee says Enzo will need to find a new partner.

It’s time for Miz’s celebration with Maryse hosting and a guy in a bear suit behind her. Miz comes out and we hit the YOU DESERVE IT chants. That’s not cool with the new champ, as the fans chant that at every new champion in WWE. Miz brags about how awesome he is and how glad he is to be the new champion.

Maryse is praised for being this great but she didn’t order the bear. Miz beats the heck out of the bear….but it’s not Ambrose. That earns the bear a toss over the top (Miz: “At least you got beaten up by the Intercontinental Champion.”) and here comes a present in a big box. Miz doesn’t trust it and destroys the thing with a chair.

Maryse freaks out because it’s from her. She got him a grandfather clock because it’s timeless, just like her. Maryse yells and leaves as Miz goes off about Ambrose getting in his head. As the rant continues, the cameraman puts his camera down because it’s Dean. The beatdown doesn’t take long and Miz is left laying.

Enzo Amore/??? vs Anderson and Gallows

Amore has a new partner and it’s……Big Show. Before the match, Enzo says Show is looking slim and might be joining 205 Live. Enzo is 206 though and that makes him a heavyweight. He keeps going about rubbing Big Show and asks him to loosen up. That sends Show into something like an Enzo impression before finishing with the Cass line. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face at the bell but it’s off to Show almost immediately. A chokeslam to Anderson sets up a modified Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 1:42.

Video on Alexa Bliss.

Post break, Cass accuses Show of being the attacker but leaves with Enzo without much of a problem.

R-Truth says he’s coming for Goldust and quotes A Few Good Men.

Bliss doesn’t like the rest of the division.

Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is defending with Mickie and Dana at ringside. Jax throws her around to start and sends the champ into a corner. Bliss avoids a charge and tries a sleeper but gets sent outside. Mickie and Dana laugh at her so Alexa starts a fight, drawing the DQ at 2:20.

Nia destroys Mickie and Dana post match.

Heyman is in the trainer’s room when he gets a phone call from Brock. Paul thinks Brock should be here next week.

Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins

Joe tries an early powerbomb and gets taken down with a hurricanrana, only to have Joe come back with right hands and chops in the corner. A hard knee to Seth’s head has Rollins in trouble and the Sling Blade is countered as we take a break. Back with Joe still hammering away as the announcers talk about wrestlers hitting their stride and being on a roll like never before.

Joe crushes him with the backsplash and cranks on the arm. The snap powerslam gets two but Seth finally scores with an enziguri. A suicide dive sets up the Blockbuster, followed by a second dive. Rollins muscles him up for a Falcon Arrow and Joe is actually in some trouble. Bray Wyatt’s lights hit though and…..no one comes out. The distraction is enough to set up the Koquina Clutch though and Rollins is out at 14:14.

Rating: C+. As usual, this match had the standard Raw problem: it doesn’t mean anything so why should fans care enough to watch it? We know Lesnar is back to deal with Joe next week so why is this interesting? You know what else isn’t interesting? Bray, who lost to Reigns two and a half hours ago completely clean. If you want him to be this big deal, stop having him lose matches over and over. Rollins vs. Wyatt is interesting but it doesn’t matter if you have Reigns beat both of them in back to back weeks.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a bad show but way too long, as is so often the case. Having Lesnar back next week should help a lot and the show will be better as a result but dang the rest of the show could use some freshening up. It feels like a lot of these feuds have been going on forever and that shouldn’t be the case coming off a pay per view. The show had good moments (Bliss continuing to be gold and Joe choking Heyman out) but they need something to get people fired up. Maybe it’s Lesnar next week but if he doesn’t do it, I have no idea what will.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear

Cesaro/Sheamus b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Brogue Kick to Slater

TJP b. Mustafa Ali – Detonation Kick

Kalisto b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Enzo Amore/Big Show b. Anderson and Gallows – High crossbody to Anderson

Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax via DQ when Mickie James and Dana Brooke interfered

Samoa Joe b. Seth Rollins – Koquina Clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6