Smackdown – April 1, 2022: And That’s Why I Wasn’t There

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that could mean a few things. On one hand, it means we could be in for the last big push before the biggest show of the year, which means an exciting night. On the other hand, it could be WWE putting in as little effort as possible as they have more important things on their minds. Knowing WWE, I’ll go with the latter almost every time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a video package on Andre the Giant to hype up his namesake battle royal.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Cedric Alexander, Ivar, Erik, Madcap Moss, Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Mansoor, Shanky, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Damian Priest, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Finn Balor

This field is lame even by this match’s standards. Only Ziggler, Roode and Balor get entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa being eliminated, followed by Reggie, who makes the dumb choice of flipping around on the apron. There goes R-Truth, followed by Mahal, the latter of whom goes out at the hands of the Vikings. Benjamin knees T-Bar out and it’s time to start brawling near the ropes. Moss knocks Gulak out as I continue not remembering that Gulak works here.

Cue Happy Corbin to praise Moss but almost low bridges him out by mistake when Balor reverses a whip into the ropes. Ciampa sends Moss to the floor but this time Corbin makes the save. Corbin leaves so it’s time to settle down again. Crews knocks out Alexander and Azeez gets rid of Benjamin. Mansoor’s slingshot neckbreaker is blocked and Ciampa knees him out. The Vikings eliminate Crews but get tossed by Shanky and Azeez, leaving them with the giant showdown.

They fight near the ropes and both get tossed out, leaving us with Priest, Balor, Roode, Moss, Ciampa and Ziggler. Balor and Priest remember that they had a feud for a bit and slug it out until Balor tosses him out. Roode puts Ciampa on the apron and Ziggler hits the superkick for the elimination to get us down to four. That leaves Balor to clean house but he can’t get rid of Roode. Ziggler goes to help Roode but Moss tosses Ziggler and Roode. Balor charges at Moss and gets sent out to give Moss the win at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was every lame battle royal you’ve seen and that is what the Andre battle royal seems to be. It’s everyone without stuff going on at Wrestlemania being added in to a match on TV, which doesn’t make it feel special. Instead, this feels like a match that WWE has to do and picks a random person to win. Moss is part of a bad angle with Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre, but it isn’t like the match has any history or importance for the most part.

Post match Moss celebrates his win but asks what you should call a battle royal with the smartest Texans. A CATTLE royal!

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Humberto vs. Angel

Ricochet is defending because this is what the title has become these days. Angel and Humberto share an entrance and their chyron says Los Lotharios, which is a bit of a weird way to set up a triple threat. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start, with Angel biting his finger. The obvious double teaming begins and Ricochet gets caught with a running knee to the face. Ricochet fights up and manages a double hurricanrana, because that’s something people can do. Angel catches him on top with a super armdrag though and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet having to fight off the numbers game again, which allows the double teaming to take him down. Humberto nails a spinwheel kick for two, which doesn’t sit well with Angel. The Wing Clipper is loaded up but Humberto rolls Angel up for another near fall as greed enters the equation.

Ricochet uses the distraction to crossbody them down, setting up a rolling dropkick to Angel. The standing shooting star press gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Humberto gets backdropped to the floor and an enziguri drops Angel. Ricochet drops Humberto onto Angel, setting up the 630. That’s not enough so Ricochet goes straight to Humberto with the Recoil for the pin to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The action was ok, but the fact that it was a relief to see Ricochet beat a tag team to retain the Intercontinental Title tells you everything you need to know. Ricochet at least comes off as a winner to save the slightest bit of face, but he needs a lot more to make up some of the last few weeks. Now he can move on to a singles challenger, but him sitting on the sidelines might be best for both himself and the title at the moment, as WWE doesn’t seem to know any better.

Long video on Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Owens wanted a way to Wrestlemania so he challenged Austin to come on the KO Show. One day Owens remembered that he hated Texas and started insulting it so he wants the embodiment of Texas to show up. Austin responded from what looked to be some road out in the wilderness, which sends us into the Austin highlight reel set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock because 90s.

Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Non-title with Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley and Natalya/Shayna Baszler at ringside. Carmella kicks Banks to the floor to start, allowing her to get in some dancing. Zelina hits some running knees in the corner and Carmella is back in for a chinlock. That’s broken up and Banks gets in a shot to the face, allowing her to get over to Naomi for the tag. With Carmella dispatched, a Vader Bomb hits Zelina and Naomi adds the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. This was about as filler of a match as you can get as they were thrown out there to set up a match that isn’t going to have much interest no matter what they do. The Women’s Tag Team Titles continue to be absolutely nothing and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing two days before their Wrestlemania title defense. Nothing match with nothing teams getting ready for a nothing match. Why is this a surprise these days?

Ronda Rousey was training earlier today (appeared to be with Shayna Baszler) and insisted that she was controlling her anger. She’ll be seeing her baby before the show, where she’ll rip off Charlotte’s arm.

Video on Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey, looking at their respective in-ring/cage careers. Both dominated their sports and now it is a clash of the two titans, which would have been a bit better had they not already had a Wrestlemania match. It is also presented as a battle of holds, with the armbar/ankle lock vs. the Figure Eight. In other words, this sounds better in theory than it has been in reality.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She praises the video and says it was more dramatic than Coda. She is going to destroy Rousey and, after mocking the WHAT chants by suggesting they are saying WOO, Charlotte declares herself cool. Every woman wants to be like her and every man just wants her. Having people want her autograph and pictures is cool, just like leaving Wrestlemania as the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Video on Roman reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. I believe they’re fighting soon or something.

Rick Boogs plays Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring so Pat McAfee gets on the announcers’ table….but Austin Theory trips him up. McAfee gives chase to the back, where Theory runs into Vince McMahon’s office. That slows McAfee down but he kicks the door open, with Vince coming out and threatening to fire him. McAfee seems worried and goes back to commentary.

Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso

Shinsuke Nakamura and Jey Uso are here too and McAfee is back on commentary. Boogs curls Uso to start before throwing him down. Jimmy is right back up with a whip to send Boogs into the post to cut him down but Boogs manages to gorilla press Jimmy….from his knees. Boogs stands up and drops him into a fall away slam, because that’s something a person can do. Cue Theory to grab a cup of ice from a fan and throw it at McAfee, who manages to keep his cool. Cue Finn Balor to go after Theory so all six get in the ring for the double DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D+. That gorilla press alone was worth seeing but that’s all they had in such a short match. Normally I would have an issue with WWE doing so many things in one match, but this is a bit of a weird situation. Balor vs. Theory is a feud that has been going on in recent weeks, though Balor isn’t even on Wrestlemania. I’m not sure why they are building feuds for beyond Wrestlemania, but we seem to be ready for a six man tag here to keep it going even further.

Usos/Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Joined in progress with Nakamura getting two on Jey. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets one but a quick shot allows Jey to get over to Theory. Nakamura knees Theory in the ribs as McAfee is VERY pleased with the fans not liking Theory. Boogs comes in and grabs the rotating back and forth gutwrench suplex for two.

It’s off to Balor, who gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Jey to put him down. The villains glare down at McAfee and we take a break. Back with Jimmy missing a splash in the corner but Jey knocks Boogs off the apron to cut off a tag attempt. Balor hits the basement dropkick to rock Jimmy though and it’s a double diving tag to Nakamura and Theory. Nakamura gets to clean house, including a kick to Theory’s head and the sliding German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Boogs is sent hard into the steps. Balor comes in to clothesline Theory to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. The Sling Blade connects back inside and it’s the shotgun dropkick to knock him down again. A distraction lets Theory break up the Coup de Grace though and the ATL finishes Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C. I knew this was coming and I still cringed at the pinfall. For the life of me I don’t get why WWE feels the need to do this, but if Theory isn’t US Champion by the end of the next pay per view (at the VERY latest), this is another entry on the long list of stupid things WWE has done. The US Champion shouldn’t be losing most of the time, but this is what, three or so falls he has taken to set up a match he isn’t even in? It’s another case of WWE feeling like they are trying to make things worse for someone they seem interested in pushing. Only WWE, thank goodness.

Post match McAfee gets on the apron to stare Theory down but he manages to keep his composure.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk, complete with a table to hold Angela the sword. Moss brags about winning the Andre the Giant battle royal earlier, but Corbin says he was supposed to do that. Corbin is euphoric and thinks that could be his new name. We look at how he got the sword and Corbin brags about everything he has done at Wrestlemania over the years.

The sword is more of an insurance policy and he could decapitate someone with the thing. How depressing is it to name the sword after McIntyre’s dead mother? Corbin: “What does Drew McIntyre’s sword and his mother have in common? He lost them both.” Cue McIntyre, who knocks Moss out with one shot on the way to the ring. McIntyre grabs a chair and throws it at Corbin’s head (that was smart), causing the sword to fall down. The set is cleared out and McIntyre cuts the table in half.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Back in the ring, McIntyre stable the mat a few times to make fire and pyro go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh they didn’t care. It was clear that this was designed to be a way to have a show before Wrestlemania and nothing more. None of the matches were good and a lot of this was about hyping things up. This has been the case for a pretty long time now and that reputation is why I was at other shows on Friday night and the only part I saw that night was at a restaurant between other events. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather that it was unimportant and WWE didn’t care. That’s as bad of a feeling that you can have and it was on in full display this week.

Results
Madcap Moss won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Finn Balor
Ricochet b. Angel and Humberto – Recoil to Humberto
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Carmella/Queen Zelina – Split legged moonsault to Zelina
Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso went to a double DQ when Jey Uso and Shinsuke Nakamura interfered
Austin Theory/Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor

 

 

 

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Smackdown – October 19, 2007: That British Show

Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2007
Location: NEC, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Cyber Sunday is in less than ten days and that means it is time for WWE to hammer home the matches that they want picked. Last week’s show featured a bit ending as Undertaker interrupted a #1 contenders match and signaled that he wanted the title. World Heavyweight Champion Batista seemed interested so I think we have a pay per view main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We look at Undertaker interrupting Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio from last week before signaling that he wanted Batista’s World Title. The match is officially set for Cyber Sunday and YOU can pick the referee!

Great Khali vs. Kane

Wrestlemania rematch and Runjin Singh is here with Khali. Kane slugs away to start but gets punched down. The big boot sets up the nerve hold and Khali powers him down for daring to try a comeback. Kane has to go to the ropes to break the Vice Grip so Khali elbows him in the corner. The right hands get Kane out of the corner/trouble with the top rope clothesline taking Khali down. Khali knocks him outside for daring to try the chokeslam and some choking with a camera cord is enough to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was short and to the point with Kane not being able to get very far against this kind of power. Khali gets some of his heat back by dominating someone like Kane, who is heading to ECW sooner or later anyway. Sometimes some dominance like this is a good thing and that is what we had here.

Post match Kane fights back and takes Khali down with a bell shot but here is Big Daddy V (with Matt Striker) from ECW to interrupt. V crushes Kane with a Ghetto (Samoan) drop and stands tall.

Post break, Striker talks about how awesome V is and declares him the rocket to the top.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Rematch, because WWE wants to ruin Palumbo (here with Michelle McCool). Masters gets taken to the mat with a headlock takeover to start and Palumbo takes him to the floor for a brief chase. Back in and Palumbo counters a suplex into a delayed version of his own. That doesn’t get him very far so Masters cranks on both arms, which fires Palumbo up for the comeback. A top rope shoulder drops Masters but here is Victoria to jump McCool. The distraction lets Masters grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Why does WWE think this is the way to go? Masters’ biography is two lines long: he’s strong and he uses a full nelson. That doesn’t make him interesting, and I’m not sure why WWE insists on giving him one feud after another. Giving him Victoria as a sidekick isn’t some saving grace, but rather just window curtains over a brick wall. Palumbo was iffy at best but putting him Masters is like cutting the wheels off of his motorcycle. Nothing to see here, other than Masters continuing to exist around here for whatever reason.

MVP comes up to Matt Hardy in the back and says they have become champions but also friends. Like Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr or Tiger Woods and his caddie! Matt says they are going to have a wrestling, boxing or mixed martial arts match at Cyber Sunday but for tonight, he’s good on going out there on his own. I don’t think Matt’s heart is in this team.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay runs him over for an early two to start so Matt is back up with a headlock. The fans seem to approve of said headlock as the HARDY chants start up until Finlay drives him into the ropes. Some kicks send Finlay to the floor for the dropkick through the ropes from Hardy. Finlay is fine enough to drive him back first into the apron and it’s a half crab going on back inside.

After escaping “that leg hold” (as Cole puts it), Hardy gets clotheslined down and put in a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Matt starts the comeback, including the running bulldog out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is blocked so Matt goes up, only to get knocked out of the air. Finlay covers and grabs the turnbuckle pad, which is pulled off during the kickout. Cue MVP to prevent Finlay going for the Shillelagh though, allowing Hardy to grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. Another short match here, with Finlay being his usual brawling self, which is always worth at least a look. The more interesting story here though is Hardy and MVP starting to come together after a long time, which I’m sure will last forever. Still though, it is a story that is somehow still keeping my interest after several months. That’s pretty impressive.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brian Major

Dave Taylor and Brett Major are here too. Feeling out process to start with McIntyre going after the arm but getting taken down into an armbar. Back up and Major’s cross body is countered into a throat first drop across the top rope. McIntyre’s cravate is broken up but Major misses a slingshot dive onto Taylor. After an uppercut, Taylor throws him back in for a Downward Spiral to give McIntyre the pin.

Rating: C-. McIntyre continues to not exactly impress to start but there is only so much to be gained from needing help against the Major Brothers. That being said, they seem to be doing something with him and that is better than nothing. Taylor as the manager is fine for now, but I don’t think he is going to be the best way to go for McIntyre for that much longer.

Video on Undertaker vs. Batista, which makes it feel quite epic. As it should.

JBL is in the ring for an interview with Batista. After hyping up the rivalry with Undertaker and plugging himself as the best choice for referee, JBL brings out Batista to quite the reaction. Batista: “I’m sorry, you’re still talking?” JBL says he’s leading the voting right now but Batista warns him to stay out of the way. That’s fine with JBL, who plugs Batista’s autobiography, which suggests that Batista is afraid of Undertaker. That isn’t true and Batista goes to leave, with JBL calling him a coward. Batista comes back in and shoves him down, leaving JBL looking angry/stunned.

Post break, JBL goes on a very JBL style rant against Batista.

The Diva Search girls do their best Baywatch impression, including running in slow motion. Next week: interrogation.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino and this is fallout from the two of three of them beating up Yang last week. Domino and Yang start things off with Yang chopping him to the floor and hitting the big slingshot dive. Moore comes in for some grappling but gets driven into the corner. A side slam gets two on Moore and Deuce grabs a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Moore escapes and rolls over for the tag off to Yang. Everything breaks down and Moore pulls Domino out to the floor. Yang’s moonsault press finishes Deuce.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be it for Deuce N Domino. I’m sure they’ll be around for a little longer, but you don’t come back from losing clean to a thrown together cruiserweight team. Deuce N Domino have been steadily falling down the card and now they are about as long as you can be while still being a team. You know, because the Smackdown tag division has so much depth to waste an established team like this one.

Jamie Noble comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and is in pretty rough shape after facing Great Khali last week. Noble suggests that Vickie’s hormones made her make such a decision last week, but he’s willing to help her with anything around here. That sounds good to Vickie, who makes Noble vs. Undertaker for later tonight. Noble’s reaction is the pure panic that you would expect.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Oddly enough, Undertaker comes out first. Noble hammers away in the corner to start and is promptly chokeslammed. The Tombstone finishes in less than a minute and a half.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

SAVE US!

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey starts fast and loads up an early missed 619. MVP runs him over for an early two but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. The slingshot dive hits MVP but bangs up Rey’s knee at the same time. MVP is fine enough to hit a gorilla press drop over the top and onto the mat as we take a break. Back with Rey fighting out of a front facelock but charging into an overhead belly to belly. Rey’s springboard spinning crossbody gets two and the 619 connects, only to have MVP kick him out of the air for two. Cue Finlay to go after MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were starting to get going when Finlay ran in. That’s a good choice though, as you don’t want either of these two losing before they go into a big match at Cyber Sunday. It also ties into the story from earlier tonight, making this a rather logical match. Maybe not the most satisfying as I wanted to see more of the match, but it did make sense.

Post match Rey takes Finlay down and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The British shows can be a bit off and that was the case again here. Nothing major seemed to happen here as it’s more about pushing fans to vote for certain choices at Cyber Sunday. It leaves some of these shows being a bit less than enthralling, but hopefully they can push things a bit harder next week.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – March 25, 2022: As Frustrated As I Have Been In A Long Time

Smackdown
Date: March 25, 2022
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re eight days away from Wrestlemania and believe it or not, the preview for the show has a picture of Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman, because that is the only thing on this show that matters. It would be nice for the new Intercontinental Champion to get a Wrestlemania match set up, but I wouldn’t bet on it anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s path of rage last week, including the fork lift attack on the Bloodline’s SUV.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar is outside of Reigns’ dressing room and says that he has paid some fines and bought some vehicles, including a blood red SUV for Reigns himself. Now upper management has told him to not have any contact with Reigns, so he’ll be sitting in Reigns’ locker room and wait for a good provoking. Lesnar goes into the empty room, likes what he has found (“Not as good as mine but not bad”) and puts his feet on the table, breaking it in the process. As Lesnar tends to do.

Jimmy Uso vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Jey Uso and Rick Boogs are here too, with Boogs throwing Jey at Jimmy to send us to a break before the bell. The battle over wrist control doesn’t last long so Nakamura gives us a COME ON before taking Jimmy down. Good Vibrations makes it worse for Jimmy and he heads outside for a breather.

Back in and Jimmy gets two off a belly to back suplex, setting up the chinlock. Nakamura fights up but gets sent to the apron and then out to the floor. Jimmy’s suicide dive is cut off by a kick to the head though and we take a break. Back with Nakamura knocking Jimmy down again but Jey jumps Boogs before Kinshasa can launch. The distraction lets Jimmy hit a superkick for two so Jey goes after the guitar. That distraction lets Nakamura hit a spinning kick to the head, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: C-. It’s not a good sign when you need to go double interference and the fact that it’s a singles match to set up a tag match at the pay per view. This is one of WWE’s most overdone tropes and I’m not sure why it is supposed to be impressive. Nakamura is a former multiple time singles champion and a former Royal Rumble winner. Jimmy Uso is a career tag guy with pretty much no notable singles wins. Why is this an accomplishment for Nakamura?

Raw Rebound, focusing on Kevin Owens as Steve Austin.

Brock Lesnar is eating Roman Reigns’ grapes and breaking his bottle of champagne.

Shad Gaspard is receiving the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Drew McIntyre could take out Happy Corbin tonight but he’d rather do it on the biggest stage of them all.

Video on Happy Corbin’s fall and rise back up to the top of the world. Then he joined up with Madcap Moss and took out Drew McIntyre, leading to their Wrestlemania match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ridge Holland

Hold on though, as Kofi has a surprise: Holland is facing the returning Xavier Woods! The fact that Woods was introduced as accompanying Kofi to the ring might take away some of the surprise.

King Woods vs. Ridge Holland

Sheamus and Butch are here too. Holland throws him around to start and gets small packaged for the pin at 46 seconds. Ok then.

Paul Heyman joins us from Roman Reigns’ car after a trip to Del Frisco’s Steakhouse. They’re on their way here and know what Brock Lesnar has done. Threats are made if Lesnar isn’t out of there.

Here’s Ronda Rousey for a chat but first we recap her recent issues with Charlotte. Rousey says she isn’t taking Charlotte’s title, because after Charlotte taps, she can give the title over. Then she’ll be the “Women’s Smackdown Champion.” Rousey: “Why do we have to say women anyway? Call me the Smackdown Champion”.

She calls Charlotte out, but here is Charlotte via satellite to say she isn’t here tonight. Rousey says she broke her first arm at 14 and now she has lost count of how many she has broken. Charlotte laughs it off so Rousey threatens to take her arm off at Wrestlemania. As usual, Rousey is not the most natural speaker.

Kayla Braxton comes in to see Brock Lesnar and asks if he should leave Roman Reigns’ locker room. Lesnar says go find Reigns because he is running out of things to break.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Angel is here with Humberto for the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam and it takes some time for them to find a woman to kiss. We take a break before the match and come back with…this.

Ricochet vs. Angel

Yes they changed the match during the commercial, because WWE likes to do weird things. Angel starts fast but gets set into the corner, allowing Ricochet to nip up. A jumping knee sets up a high crossbody but Humberto offers a distraction, allowing Angel to small package him for the pin at 2:03.

Post match Ricochet says not so fast so let’s do this too.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Ricochet isn’t playing this time and knocks Humberto outside, setting up the big running flip dive to send us to a break. Back with Ricochet hitting a springboard hurricanrana, setting up a middle rope moonsault. Angel’s distraction lets Humberto roll him up for two but Ricochet rolls some suplexes for two. Angel pulls Humberto out of the way of the 630 so Ricochet hits a big dive to wipe Angel out. That sends Angel underneath the ring so Ricochet hits a tornado DDT on the floor. Then Angel grabs the foot and Ricochet is counted out at 7:03.

Rating: D+. Well that’s to be expected. Since there is absolutely no other way to set up a title match than by having the champ lose twice in ten minutes, here we are. Ricochet couldn’t just say he wanted a challenge, have both of them come out, and then say sure I’ll do it. No, that would be too interesting and make him look too good. This is the best idea that they had and that says a lot.

Austin Theory runs up behind Pat McAfee and slaps his headset off. McAfee gives chase but Theory runs into Mr. McMahon’s office, leaving McAfee slapping the door. Shouldn’t McAfee have tripped on the way there and then paid a janitor for messing something up? Seems how most good guys are on this show.

We hear about HHH’s in-ring career being over, which is rather sobering given how close to death he was.

Sasha Banks vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella vs. Queen Zelina

All of their partners are here too. Banks and Ripley clear the ring to start and Rhea hits the Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog. Everyone, including partners, get inside for a big brawl and we take a break. Back with the partners all gone and Baszler saving banks from the Prism Trap. Zelina comes in and covers all three for two each but gets pulled into the Bank Statement.

Baszler tries another save so it’s a double Bank Statement with Ripley having to make a save. Banks has to save Ripley from the Kirifuda Clutch, leaving Baszler to save Banks from Zelina’s Code Red. With Baszler on the floor, Ripley hits a flip dive but Vega takes Ripley out as well. Back in and the Bank Statement makes Vega tap at 8:48.

Rating: C. The champ loses again because that’s how you set up title matches around here. This was another match where everyone was doing stuff until one of them got the pin, which is somehow supposed to make me want to see these four teams in a match at Wrestlemania. It didn’t do so in particular, and I doubt it will either on Raw when the other four do the same thing.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman arrive. Heyman says he’s worried but Reigns says he’ll be fine. Reigns: “But Brock Lesnar won’t.”

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final chat. Reigns says Brock Lesnar better be out of his locker room so we cut to said locker room, where Lesnar is nowhere to be found. We cut to the parking lot, where Lesnar has a PICKAXE to smash up Reigns’ car. Reigns says there won’t be any weapons at Wrestlemania, so Lesnar comes to the ring.

Cue Lesnar through the crowd to stare at Reigns from the announcers’ table. Security comes out so Lesnar grabs a chair and dives onto the guards. Reigns and Heyman (plus the Usos, who just appeared) bail so Lesnar beats up security some more. Reigns pops up on screen and promises to make Lesnar acknowledge him at Wrestlemania.

This was one of the most frustrating endings to a show I have seen in a long time. The segment was good, as have been most of the Lesnar vs. Reigns showdowns. What makes it frustrating is that WWE knows how to make a match feel important but they would rather just focus on this one match than anything else on the show. They have intentionally made Wrestlemania a one match show and it has been such a huge part of what is wrong with this year’s show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I was this annoyed at a WWE show and everything turned on those Ricochet matches. This show felt like it was either actively trying to make everyone (save Lesnar) I’m supposed to cheer for at Wrestlemania look like a loser or trying to make every match as uninteresting as possible. Lesnar vs. Reigns might as well be the whole show and WWE continues to use the same tropes they have used for years to weaker and weaker impact. This show got on my nerves in a big way and that is not a good sign eight days before the biggest weekend of the year.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jimmy Uso – Kinshasa
King Woods b. Ridge Holland – Small package
Angel b. Ricochet – Rollup
Humberto b. Ricochet via countout
Sasha Banks b. Queen Zelina, Shayna Baszler and Rhea Ripley – Bank Statement to Vega

 

 

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Smackdown – October 12, 2007: History Doesn’t Overcome Boring

Smackdown
Date: October 12, 2007
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with No Mercy and Batista is still the World Champion, having vanquished Great Khali in the Punjabi Prison. That leaves a vacancy in the #1 contenders slow and there is a good chance we’ll get it covered this week, as Cyber Sunday is coming up. I’m just not sure who it is going to be. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Punjabi Prison match, with Batista retaining the World Title over Great Khali.

Opening sequence.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo has Michelle McCool with him and this is fallout from Masters attacking Palumbo last week. Masters gets driven into the corner to start and some forearms to the back set up a big clothesline. A suplex drops Masters again as this is one sided so far. Masters avoids an elbow though and hits his own suplex for two. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Palumbo is back up, only to get slammed right back down for two more. The Masterlock attempt doesn’t work and Palumbo hammers away. Masters misses a clothesline and gets rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I know they’re trying with Palumbo but he’s not exactly stealing the show and a feud with Masters isn’t going to do much better. You’re only going to get so far with such a low level opponent as it makes Palumbo feel like someone who doesn’t matter that much. Palumbo is ok enough, but this feels like such low stakes and it isn’t working.

Post match Palumbo gets back on his motorcycle but Masters jumps him and puts on the Masterlock. Great. A rematch.

The Brothers of Destruction are back tonight.

Video on Big Daddy V.

Jesse And Festus vs. Jay Adams/Conrad Carnes

Jesse explains the idea behind Festus again before locking up with Adams to start. Cole compares it to Spider-Man and Peter Parker, which doesn’t go well with JBL. Jesse takes Adams down rather easily and it’s off to Festus to knock Carnes down. Carnes tries some forearms to the back and gets knocked down with a big boot to the face. It’s back to Jesse for a sunset flip as we cut to Deuce N Domino and Cherry watching in the back. A few shots put Jesse down but get gets over to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down and a Rocket Launcher top rope shoulder gives Jesse the pin on Carnes.

Rating: C-. Festus is a good idea idea and he looks good when he gets the hot tag but Jesse is just kind of there. What matters here is that there is a new team, as the division has been all of two teams for far too long now. Just having someone fresh in there helps and maybe they can help pick things up a bit.

Deuce N Domino mock Jesse and Festus when Jamie Noble of all people comes in. He isn’t trying to cause any trouble but he heard Jimmy Wang Yang making some suggestive comments about Cherry. Noble whispers them to Deuce and it’s off to Vickie Guerrero’s office, with Noble being dragged off with them.

Brett Major vs. Drew McIntyre

There’s your historical moment. This is McIntyre’s debut and he has Dave Taylor with him, as Brian Major is here with Brett. We get an inset interview with McIntyre, who is applying for dual citizenship and would love to hear some USA chants. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start and grabs a front facelock. Brett reverses into one of his own and takes McIntyre down. An elbow into a legdrop gets two but Taylor hits Brian on the floor. That’s enough of a distraction for McIntyre to grab a rollup pin to complete a rather lackluster debut. McIntyre was just there and had nothing to make himself stand out here, making this pretty dull.

We get some rapid fire questions with the final four Diva Search girls. Next week: Search And Rescue as this stuff gets dumber week after week.

MVP and Matt hardy make sure that they’re both ready for the Brothers of Destruction tonight. They seem to be good.

Brothers of Destruction vs. MVP/Matt Hardy

Non-title. Matt’s waistlock on Kane doesn’t exactly work as Kane elbows him in the face to drop him fast. Undertaker comes in but Old School is broken up, allowing MVP to get in a clothesline from the apron. This goes as well as you would expect, with MVP and Hardy being sent outside as we take an early break.

Back with Kane coming in to beat on MVP but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing MVP to hammer away in the corner. There’s the running big boot and it’s Matt coming back in. Kane seems to like this better as Matt is driven into the other corner for the tag off to Undertaker. It’s back to MVP, who gets dropped by Old School for two before Kane adds the side slam.

The top rope clothesline gives Kane two, setting up Undertaker sending him into the steps (leaving MVP’s eyes bugging out at the pain). The apron legdrop gets two but Kane charges into a knee in the corner, allowing Matt to hit the middle rope elbow. Kane isn’t having this Twist of Fate stuff though and kicks Matt in the face. The second attempt works better for Matt but MVP tags himself in. That’s enough of a delay for Undertaker to come back in and wreck some more things. For some reason MVP decides to kick Undertaker in the face, earning Matt a right hand off the apron. The Tombstone gives Undertaker the pin on MVP.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash, as Matt and MVP seemed to be more annoying to Undertaker and Kane than anything else. That being said, while they’re the Tag Team Champions, Matt and MVP don’t get along and are hardly a dominant team in the first place. I’m not wild on the champs losing, but getting beaten up by Undertaker and Kane is hardly some stunning upset.

SAVE US!

Raw Rebound.

New interviewer Anastasia Rose talks to Rey Mysterio, who gets to face Finlay in a #1 contenders match tonight. Rey got played by Finlay at No Mercy and he didn’t like that, but he’s down to play dirty too. He and Batista are friends, but he wants the title. If he has to go through Finlay, Rey is ready to fight too.

We recap Teddy Long’s heart attack, though he is now out of intensive care.

Vickie Guerrero tells Jamie Noble that Teddy should be home by next week. Jamie brags about what he did to Jimmy Wang Yang earlier. As a result, Vickie gives him a match of his own….against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Jamie Noble

Noble looks terrified to start and gets shoved down with as much effort as you would expect. There’s the big chop and Noble gets tossed away again. The Vice Grip finishes Noble in a hurry.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Deuce

Deuce is annoyed to start and kicks him in the face before choking on the ropes. Yang comes back up with some chops though and a moonsault press gives him the face pin.

Post match Deuce N Domino beat down Yang.

Another video on the Punjabi Prison match. Batista’s leap from one cage to the other is still awesome.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

The winner gets Batista, on commentary, for the title at Cyber Sunday. Hold on though as JBL announces that the fans get to pick the guest referee for the Cyber Sunday title match. The choices are Mick Foley, Steve Austin (pause for the reaction), or JBL himself! Rey hammers Finlay into the corner to start but for some reason he turns around so Finlay can knock him down. Finlay loads up the Shillelagh shot but Rey knocks him down and we take an early break.

Back with Rey going to the apron and turning his back on Finlay AGAIN, earning himself a posting. Finlay grabs a Boston crab with Rey going to the ropes, earning himself something like a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. A headscissors takes Finlay down though and a middle rope DDT gives Rey two of his own. Things get a lot more serious and it turns into a brawl on the mat with the referee not being able to break it up. Said referee is tossed down and that’s a double DQ.

Rating: C+. This feud has been working pretty well so far and I’m curious to see how they move forward at Cyber Sunday. I can’t imagine they go with a triple threat for the title as wedging Batista into this feud doesn’t really feel right. We should be in for a violent showdown at the pay per view and that could be a good one.

That leaves us with no #1 contender….so here is Undertaker to knock both guys down. Undertaker signals he wants the title so the staredown with Batista ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event stuff was just about all that mattered on the card as the rest was mainly about people who don’t matter all that much. McIntyre debuting is little more than a footnote and MVP/Matt Hardy, one of the only interesting stories on the show, was there to make the Brothers of Destruction look good. Smackdown hasn’t been that great in recent weeks and Undertaker vs. Batista is going to need some help to make things that much better.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – March 18, 2022: The Kind Of Show I Like

Smackdown
Date: March 18, 2022
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

Wrestlemania is two weeks from tomorrow and we have most of the card set. There are still some matches to be made, but most of this show is probably going to be about building on what has already been started. That can make for some successful shows, but the stories need to be good in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In memory of Scott Hall.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns attacking Brock Lesnar at Madison Square Garden, leading to Lesnar trying to eat Paul Heyman last week.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. Reigns tells the crowd to acknowledge him before moving on to Lesnar. Hold on though as Heyman interrupts, saying that due to a bad weather patter, Lesnar is stuck in Canada and will not be here tonight. The fans want Lesnar and Reigns says he wants the same thing.

Reigns talks about how he would have smashed Lesnar had be been here but keeps cutting off Heyman from saying something else. He finally lets Heyman give his update: Lesnar has landed and he’s on his way here! Heyman: “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?” Reigns: “I know what I’m gonna do: I’m gonna let you wrap it up and we’re gonna get out of here.” Everyone bails in a hurry after a runny moments from Reigns.

After a look at what’s coming tonight, the Bloodline is running away and gets in their car. Cue Lesnar, on a forklift (which was apparently just laying around), to stab the lift through the car and, during a break, turn it its side. The Bloodline escapes and gets in a truck, which Lesnar chases down and rips a door off as they peel out again. Lesnar even dropped his hat.

Here is Lesnar in the arena, with the truck door, saying he is a little fired up. Roman Reigns has unleashed the bipolar beast. In two weeks, at Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to do more than blow the door off because he’s coming for blood so Reigns better be prepared.

We look back at Rick Boogs earning a Tag team Title shot at Wrestlemania for himself and Shinsuke Nakamura.

Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Los Lotharios

Humberto and Nakamura start things off, with Nakamura not being thrilled at the kiss blown his way. COME ON sets up the beatdown to start, including Good Vibrations in the corner. The running knee to the ribs gets two so it’s Angel coming in to take over with some double teaming. Angel TAKES OFF HIS PANTS and it’s a double basement dropkick to the back for two on Nakamura.

That doesn’t last long but the comeback is cut off so Nakamura can get beaten down some more. A cheap shot takes Boogs off the apron and a running shot to the face gets two on Nakamura. That’s broken up this time though and the hot tag brings in Boogs to start cleaning house. The Boogs Cruise finishes Angel at 4:46.

Rating: C. Now this is the kind of match that can do some good for Nakamura and Boogs. While they’re somewhat established as a team, they can use a few more wins on the way to their title shot. Granted it might have made more sense to do that the other way around, but at least they are starting to put something together and that is how you build a team up.

We look back at Drew McIntyre fighting off a three on one beatdown last week.

Happy Corbin is ready to win, though Madcap Moss’ joke (What do you call an episode of Happy Time that puts everyone to sleep? Nappy time!) has everyone looking at him.

Viking Raiders/Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin/Shanky/Jinder Mahal

Madcap Moss is here with the villains. Shanky takes Erik into the corner to start so it’s off to Mahal, who gets dropped by the Vikings. Ivar cleans house but Corbin plants him with a spinebuster and we take a break. Back with Mahal putting Ivar in a chinlock, which is broken up without much trouble. The hot tag brings in McIntyre to take out Mahal and Shanky as Corbin and Moss watch from the floor. A Michinoku Driver sets up the Claymore to finish Shanky at 7:14.

Rating: C-. It is becoming more and more clear that there is little way to make Corbin vs. McIntyre interesting. McIntyre is on another level than Corbin and it feels like they are trying to fill in as much time as they can before the match and its inevitable ending. This wasn’t even that interesting of a match, but some of that might have to do with how little I care to see the end result.

Sami Zayn is sick of Johnny Knoxville and his childish pranks. Zayn wants their Wrestlemania match to be anything goes.

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan

Carmella and Queen Zelina are at ringside. Morgan and Banks start things off with Banks wristdragging her down. They trade rollups for two each and stereo dropkicks give us a standoff. Naomi comes in and takes Liv down for the splits splash but it’s off to Ripley instead. As Carmella shows off her engagement ring, Ripley hits a basement dropkick for two on Naomi and then powers out of a headlock.

Banks gets her chance but can’t manage a suplex on the bigger Ripley. Instead Ripley hits a delayed vertical suplex for two, allowing the tag back to Morgan. Banks and Naomi are sent outside so Ripley can cannonball them down from the apron as we take a break (with the champs being very happy).

We come back with McAfee pointing out that these three teams were all thrown together as Ripley fights out of a chinlock. Banks comes back in for the double knees in the corner to Morgan, setting up the middle rope Meteora for two. Morgan enziguris her way out of trouble so Ripley can come in with a heck of a missile dropkick for two on Banks. Riptide is broken up though and it’s a Backstabber from Banks to set up the split legged moonsault for two, with Morgan diving in for the save. A double superplex to Ripley is turned into a Tower of Doom….but Natalya and Shayna Baszler come in for the double DQ at 11:50.

Rating: B-. This was cooking near the end but then they had to do something to add yet another thrown together team into the Wrestlemania title match. Fair enough as they already have two thrown together teams so why not make it a third? I do like that neither of the teams took a fall, but dang I wanted to see more of this and the interference was a letdown.

Post match the big beatdown is on with the champs joining in. Natalya and Baszler say they’re coming for the titles so Carmella and Vega get nervous. Some Natalya sign pointing makes things even more clear.

Johnny Knoxville is in on the anything goes deal.

Pat McAfee has been summoned to Vince McMahon’s office.

Sonya Deville approves of Natalya and Shayna Baszler, so they’re in the Women’s Tag Team Title match too.

Here is McAfee back in the arena and getting into the ring. McAfee talks about seeing professional wrestling (his words) for the first time as a kid and it shaped him forever. He always wanted to do something and after he retired from the NFL, he got a call from Michael Cole, who offered him a job doing commentary on Smackdown.

McAfee talks about going from city to city but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. As per Vince McMahon’s orders, McAfee has to apologize for last week, so McAfee apologizes for giving him that beat. He also apologizes for Theory’s parents hating him and for Theory being a punk b****. Theory takes a selfie, laughs about the apology, and shoves McAfee being running off.

We look back at Brock Lesnar chasing the Bloodline into the parking lot and ripping the door off the hinges.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura go mountain biking.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ridge Holland

Butch and Sheamus are here too. Before the match, we look at Big E.’s injury and his various messages, including saying how touched he is by the outpouring of success and promising to get better. It’s a brawl to start with Holland being knocked outside and Kofi trust falls him into the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Kofi fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away. Kofi starts the real comeback and hits the Boom Drop but a Sheamus distraction lets Butch shove Kofi off the top. Butch gets ejected but tries to come back in. That’s enough of a distraction for Holland to hit Northern Grit for the pin at 6:52.

Rating: C. I think you can see where this is going and that would be Xavier Woods returning to help Kingston even the odds up a little bit. I double they get a third person for the match but at least 3-2 is a bit better. Holland winning is certainly a way to go here, but they did at least offer him a bit of remorse by having commentary talk about him apologizing to Big E. It isn’t meant to be some evil deed but rather an accident and I think I like that better than exploiting such a terrible situation.

Long recap of Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte’s recent issues, with Rousey making Charlotte tap to the ankle lock. Charlotte couldn’t make Rousey tap last week though and frustration seems to have set in.

Here is Charlotte for the closing chat. Charlotte talks about her dominance and says no one has caused Ronda Rousey more pain than her. She is going to beat Rousey at Wrestlemania because she is the mountain that Rousey has to climb. Rousey does not have what it takes to win so she will go back home and make another baby after it’s over. Actually Charlotte can’t wait, so come out here right now and take a beating in Charlotte’s hometown.

Cue Rousey, ignoring Kayla Braxton’s warnings that it might be a trap, but Charlotte pulls out a kendo stick. Rousey ducks the big swing though and goes for the armbar, sending Charlotte outside. That’s fine with Rousey, who follows her out for the ankle lock. Charlotte breaks that up with a kendo stick shot but the choking won’t make Rousey tap. Instead, Charlotte powerbombs her through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I can always go for a show that feels like it has goals in mind and then sets out to accomplish those goals. That is what we got here, as this show focused on a variety of either Wrestlemania matches or stories that are going to become Wrestlemania matches and built them up. Wrestlemania has needed some shows like this and it was nice to see one that didn’t go flying off the rails. My one issue: Ricochet was nowhere to be seen and seems to be waiting on a last second addition to make Wrestlemania. He’s the Intercontinental Champion and that shouldn’t be his best option.

Results
Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Los Lotharios – Boogs Cruise to Angel
Viking Raiders/Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin/Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Claymore to Shanky
Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley went to a double DQ when Shayna Baszler and Natalya interfered
Ridge Holland b. Kofi Kingston – Northern Grit

 

 

 

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Smackdown – October 5, 2007: Please Let It End

Smackdown
Date: October 5, 2007
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and that means it is time to push home the idea of the Punjabi Prison. Hopefully that is the big finale to the Batista vs. Great Khali feud because there is nothing left for those two to do against each other. Other than that, Vickie Guerrero is in charge and that might end badly for a lot of people. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon announcing that John Cena has torn his pectoral muscle and will be out of action for six to twelve months. That’s going to shake up some plans.

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista to get things going, but first we look at a video on the Punjabi Prison. Batista talks about how he has been in all kinds of matches but never a Punjabi Prison match. He explains the match concept, which doesn’t quite make it sound appealing. To make it worse, he’s going to be locked inside with a giant and Khali has a home field advantage.

Batista knows he’s at a disadvantage but here is Great Khali on the screen to rant. This is translated to there being no way out of the pain and torture inside the Prison with Khali. People inside with him lose their sanity and the will to live. Oh and he’ll lose the title too. Batista isn’t convinced.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Ace Steel

Michelle McCool is here with Palumbo and we hear about Palumbo heading to some big biker rally in Arizona. A rather hard clothesline drops Steel and a Samoan drop puts him down, setting up an overhead belly to belly. There’s a big boot and Full Throttle to give Palumbo the squash win.

Post match Chris Masters comes in to Masterlock Palumbo out. I’m sure this will be a thrilling feud that launches Palumbo to the next level.

Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali, which I believe was also played at the beginning of the show.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

They go technical to start with Noble taking him to the mat for a front facelock. Back up and Noble switches to a wristlock but Yang uses the ropes (no break) to reverses into a wristlock on the mat. Noble fights up so Yang fires off some chops before getting two off a legsweep. A Kimura is countered with a belly to back suplex to put Yang down as commentary keeps recapping Noble’s issues with Hornswoggle.

Some choking on the ropes keeps Yang in trouble and Noble asks what his name is. Whatever his name might be, he grabs a cravate, which has JBL going into an explanation of the logic behind the hold. Yang flips out of a belly to back suplex for two off a crossbody but Noble is right back with a cobra clutch. That’s broken up too and Yang kicks him in the face, setting up a middle rope dropkick. Yang’s moonsault press misses though and Noble hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of what happens when you spend months (if not years) treating wrestlers like nothing and then suddenly expect them to matter. The cruiserweights have been treated as absolutely nothing for a long time now but we’re supposed to care about them because they might be in line for a chance at a meaningless title. The match was fine, but it was an ice cold match and there was no hiding it.

The Diva Search girls had an obstacle course on the beach. In case you wanted to know their slip n slide or hula hooping skills. J. Kim is eliminated.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino, with Cherry, are challenging because these teams are the tag division. Hold on though as MVP wants to have a pushup contest before the match. As expected, after a lot of trash talk, MVP cheats to cost Matt the contest by grabbing Matt’s arm. As for the match, Matt suplexes Domino to start and hands it off to MVP for an armbar. It’s back to Matt, who is driven into the wrong corner so Deuce can come in and forearm Matt’s back.

That earns him the middle rope elbow to the back and Deuce N Domino are both sent outside. MVP and Matt exchange elbows to the two of them and we take a break. Back with Matt fighting out of a front facelock and getting over to MVP. The comeback doesn’t last long as Domino low bridges MVP to the floor to put him in trouble for a change. A slam into a knee drop lets Deuce talk trash, which has JBL on a rant about not staying focused.

Domino puts on a reverse chinlock with a knee in MVP’s back before taking him outside for a back first ram into the apron. All the back work sets up an arm crank back inside before going to a more logical Boston crab. With that broken up, MVP finally kicks Domino away and the hot tag brings in Matt. Cole: “Matt Hardy is a literal ball of fire!” No Cole, he isn’t. The Side Effect hits the illegal Deuce and MVP hits Domino low, setting up the Twist of Fate to retain the titles.

Rating: C. The match got a lot of time but there are only so many ways to get excited over seeing these teams fight. We have covered this multiple times now and it is losing the limited steam that it had in the first place. Matt vs. MVP is still interesting, but they really need some other teams to face to keep their title matches fresh.

MVP and Matt go to leave but Kane pops up for his match, plus a staredown at MVP for last week’s low blow.

Kane vs. Kenny Dykstra

Joined in progress with Kane driving him into the corner for some right hands. An elbow to the heck keeps Dykstra in trouble and a big boot cuts off the comeback attempt. Dykstra gets in some kicks to the ribs but his suplex is blocked without much trouble. Kane hits a dropkick for two but Dykstra goes for the legs. That has a grand total of no effect as Kane is right back with the side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline to set up the chokeslam to end Dykstra.

Rating: D+. Almost a total squash here and it wasn’t exactly an entertaining one. Kane’s stuff still looks good but it is a little hard to get behind anything he does. He has been stuck in the same midcard/upper midcard loop for so long that there is little reason to get invested in him. A squash of Dykstra didn’t exactly change that.

We look back at Undertaker destroying Mark Henry in short order last week.

We look back at Teddy Long and Kristal’s messed up wedding.

The yet to be named Krissy Vaine is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie explains that Teddy Long is out of his coma but in no condition to return. Matt Hardy and MVP come in, with MVP thinking Matt needs to face Undertaker. Instead, Vickie makes the two of them vs. the Brothers of Destruction. Of note: Vickie said “excuse me” when MVP was talking a lot.

We look at John Cena’s injury, which is going to put him on the shelf for six months (twelve is no longer mentioned).

Tale of the tape for Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali.

SAVE US, now featuring the word “bookshelves”.

Jesse and Festus vs. Mike Tolar/Chad Collyer

Before the bell, Jesse explains that Festus turns into a different person when the bell rings. The bell does ring and Festus gets serious, including a clothesline to Tolar. A double clothesline takes both of them down and it’s off to Jesse for a running bulldog. Collyer manages to take Jesse down but misses an elbow, allowing the hot tag off to Festus. House is cleaned and an over the shoulder sitdown gutbuster finishes Collyer, sending Festus back to his normal state.

Rating: C. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks than a split personality brought on by the bell ringing, though it might not have the longest shelf life. Jesse is fine enough as the talker who wrestles the basic part of the match and it isn’t like there is a wealth of tag teams running around at the moment. The Festus stuff is kind of interesting, but we’ll have to see how long it can last.

No Mercy rundown.

Video on Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio from last year.

Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Rey is wise to stand back at the bell before getting in some rather worthless strikes. Khali hits a single clothesline to take over and a hard whip sends Rey into the corner. We hit the dreaded nerve hold but Rey is in the ropes. He comes up striking away, only to get kicked in the face for a trip to the floor. Khali’s big chop only hits steps though and Rey manages a 619 around the post (JBL: “You gotta be kidding me.”). Cue Finlay to jump Rey for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Rey’s comeback was starting to get somewhere but they needed to cut it off when they did as it couldn’t go much further. You don’t want Khali selling for someone of Rey’s size for very long but it leaves people wondering just how far Rey could have gone here. The problem continues to be watching Khali do anything, as he is so slow and lumbering that even the basics are pretty uninteresting.

Post match the beatdown is on until Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show really needs something fresh as almost nothing on here is remotely interesting. That isn’t going to last long and it isn’t really working here. What we got wasn’t the worst, but it was so uninteresting that I had a hard time getting through the show. Maybe that changes after No Mercy, but it needs to change pretty soon.

 

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Smackdown – March 11, 2022: They Need More Than That

Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2022
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are rapidly approaching Wrestlemania and the card is probably about half done. There are still a lot of matches left to be set for the card and it would be nice to see one or more of those matches being added this week. WWE has already set up more than a few matches and stories for the show so at least they have something started. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Brock Lesnar getting beaten down by the Bloodline at Madison Square Garden, leaving him a bloody mess.

Here is a ticked off Brock Lesnar (who looks perfectly fine and is already back six days after that kind of a beating because taking your time is a lost concept in modern wrestling) who gets right to the point. He doesn’t care about Wrestlemania contracts or WWE Titles (which he throws out of the ring) because all he wants is Reigns’ blood.

Lesnar demands that Reigns get out here but he gets Paul Heyman instead. Heyman says Lesnar wants Reigns….but Reigns isn’t here tonight for Lesnar’s protection. Lesnar: “If Reigns isn’t here, who is going to protect you Paul?” The chase is on (with Heyman running more than he has in years) but Lesnar stops to beat up security, allowing Heyman to escape in a car.

We look back at Sheamus and Ridge Holland destroying Big E.’s ATV.

Sheamus and Holland, still with their sledgehammers, saying they improved the ATV by making it lighter. They want a real fight night tonight and they have someone who wants in on it: Butch, better known as Pete Dunne in a hat (who looks a bit miserable, but that might be Dunne). This is a brilliant idea, because when you have Pete Dunne, a 20 something year old phenom, your best bet is to set him up for Bushwhackers jokes.

New Day vs. Sheamus/Ridge Holland

Butch is here with Sheamus and Ridge. New Day goes after Sheamus before the bell to start so we settle down to Holland taking Kofi down and dropping a knee to the face. Kofi hits a springboard dropkick for two so it’s off to Sheamus vs. Big E. The chase is on and Sheamus catches him with the forearms to the chest. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a flip dive onto Holland, leaving Big E. to miss the apron splash. A jumping knee drops Big E. and we take a break.

Back with McAfee explaining that we may have known Butch by another name but Sheamus and Holland know him as Butch. My goodness it never ceases to amaze me how this company makes things more complicated than they need to be. Kofi kicks Sheamus down and loads up Trouble in Paradise but a Holland distraction breaks it up. SOS gets two instead with Holland making the save. Big E. misses the dive to the floor and Holland suplexes him ONTO HIS HEAD, leaving him down on the floor. Butch offers a distraction and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Kofi for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: C. The match was pretty good but oh my goodness that suplex was terrifying. These injuries keep happening with Holland and it might be time to take another look at him being in this spot. It keeps happening over and over and that is not something that can continue. What matters is him being ok, because that was absolutely terrifying. As for the match itself, it was hard to focus due to the injury and WWE making Pete Dunne an Oliver Twist cosplayer.

We take a long look at Kevin Owens challenging Steve Austin for Wrestlemania and Austin accepting. It is almost strange to see Austin doing a regular look at the camera promo like this.

Sami Zayn is mad about losing his Intercontinental Title and it is made even worse by seeing a clip of Johnny Knoxville having a banner, featuring Sami’s phone number on a banner. That hasn’t sat well with Sami, but he knows he can overcome Ricochet in his rematch for the Intercontinental Title this week.

Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

McIntyre comes to the ring but we see the villains jumping the Raiders in the back. McIntyre slowly walks towards the back and here are Mahal and Shanky to go after him, with Moss and Corbin joining in. That is broken up without much trouble, leaving McIntyre to stare Corbin down. Everyone else gets back up and McIntyre gets caught in the ring, with Corbin laughing in his face. McIntyre fights up and clears the ring, making me wonder why in the world I’m supposed to want to see this match at Wrestlemania. No match of course.

We look at Ronda Rousey beating Sonya Deville last week and then making Charlotte tap out to an ankle lock.

Here is Ronda Rousey for a chat. She is ready for one of the biggest matches of her career at Wrestlemania against Charlotte. Rousey isn’t happy with Charlotte saying she is all about the armbar, because it is like saying Mike Tyson is a one trick pony because he just knocked people out. There are thousands of ways to get to an armbar, but she has spent the last few years refining the ankle lock, as taught to her by her first mentor in wrestling, Kurt Angle.

Cue Charlotte to interrupt, saying that Rousey will be in for the biggest fight of her life. Rousey needs to be worrying about winning on the biggest stage, where she won’t be tapping Charlotte out. Rousey: “Like I already did?” Charlotte calls her a one trick pony so Rousey tells her to bring it, and even offers to let her take off the high heels. Instead Charlotte walks away, with Rousey saying Charlotte is either tapping at Wrestlemania or Rousey is taking her arm home. Talking continues to not be Rousey’s strong suit but she was passable enough here.

We look at Brock Lesnar chasing Paul Heyman off earlier today. Lesnar has left too.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura go surfing in their latest Toyota commercial.

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Carmella and Queen Zelina are watching from ringside as Shayna takes Naomi down by the leg to start. Natalya and Shayna make a wish on Naomi’s legs and Shayna stomps on the ankle. Naomi fights up and makes the tag off to Banks, who comes in with the middle rope Meteora. Banks sends the villains outside and a sliding headscissors sends Natalya into Carmella and Vega’s general direction. Carmella offers a distraction so Zelina can fail at interference, allowing Banks to hit a basement Codebreaker for the pin on Natalya at 3:19.

Rating: C-. I cannot bring myself to care about this title match as it feels like it was thrown together first and then they are trying to make the three teams feel like they matter. They are building up Banks and Naomi after giving them the title shot, much like they are doing with Liv Morgan and Rhea Ripley. It might work if you have strong champions, but that is absolutely not the case with Zelina and Carmella. Baszler continues to be the most “just there” wrestler who could be something more, but that’s WWE for you.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They brag about their 236 day reign as Tag Team Champions, which is almost a year (not exactly) and Roman Reigns’ nearly two year reign as Universal Champion (again, not exactly). Cue Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs, the latter of whom has a taped up leg and is badly limping. The Usos laugh off the idea of these two wanting a title shot at Wrestlemania, even calling Boogs Peg Leg Pete. They can have the title shot if Boogs can beat Jey right now.

Jey Uso vs. Rick Boogs

Hold on though as Boogs takes off the leg brace and grabs Jey in a vertical suplex, where he kneels down to one knee twice before taking him down. The gorilla press (with eleven reps)….doesn’t do anything as Boogs just drops him down instead of slamming him due to Jimmy’s distraction. Boogs is right back up with the Boogs Cruise for the pin and the title shot at 1:47.

Post match Jimmy breaks the guitar over Boogs’ back to leave him laying.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Ricochet

Ricochet is defending and hold on a second here as Austin Theory comes out to sit next to Pat McAfee. Before the bell, Theory gets in McAfee’s face and slaps the headset off of his head. McAfee jumps the table, with Cole shouting NOT THIS WAY and DON’T LET HIM GET TO YOU! Some security finally comes out to clear them out, with McAfee leaving commentary. Theory has to be held back and eventually leaves as we’ll have the bell after the break.

We come back with the bell ringing as Cole talks about McAfee going over the line here, because we need a Michael Cole lecture during an Intercontinental Title match. Ricochet snaps off a headscissors to take Sami down but Sami gets in a neck snap across the top rope. Back in and a sitout powerbomb gives Sami two and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and knees him down before heading up top. That takes too long though and Sami knocks him off the top for a big crash as we take a break.

Back with…actually a look at McAfee vs. Theory, which absolutely needed to be shown full screen during a title match main event. We go back to the actual match with Ricochet reversing a suplex into a hurricanrana for two. The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Sami two and he takes Ricochet up top, only to get punched back down. Sami crotches him on top though and a t-bone superplex sends Ricochet flying. Back up and the Helluva Kick is countered into the Recoil, setting up the 630 to retain the title at 12:46.

Rating: B-. Well thank goodness for that. I was scared that they were going to put the title back on Zayn for the sake of the celebrity match at Wrestlemania, so at least they did something smart for a change. Ricochet has such a track record of inconsistency so it was nice to see them actually letting him stick with it for once. Good match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We cut to the back where Charlotte and Ronda Rousey are fighting next to a car. Security can’t break it up so Charlotte suplexes her onto the car. Charlotte ties up her legs and fishhooks Rousey’s mouth on the hood. One more shot to the face puts Rousey down and she tries to pull herself to her feet to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much to be seen her in the way of wrestling, which left the show focused on building up stories for Wrestlemania. That makes sense on paper, but then you get to the reality of the matches they have not being very good. Between McAfee and Knoxville being featured players and Lesnar’s big contribution being chasing Heyman out of the arena, this was a show focused on a lot of midcard material. That doesn’t make for a good show and illustrates how much they are focusing on Lesnar vs. Reigns and almost nothing else. They need something else big on Smackdown, and Zayn vs. Knoxville isn’t it.

Results
Sheamus/Ridge Holland b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Kofi Kingston
Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Natalya/Shayna Baszler – Codebreaker to Natalya
Rick Boogs b. Jey Uso – Boogs Cruise
Ricochet b. Sami Zayn – 630

 

 

 

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Smackdown – March 4, 2022: They Had To Do That

Smackdown
Date: March 4, 2022
Location: FTX Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and the card is starting to come together. There are still some gaps that need to be filled in but now tonight we might have a better idea of how some of the title scene will look. This week features two title matches which could see some shakeups. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman talks about being the advocate for Roman Reigns, who will be here tonight.

Ronda Rousey is ready for her first Smackdown match.

Sonya Deville is ready to teach Rousey about authority.

The Viking Raiders are ready to hunt the Usos, rip them apart, and take the Tag Team Titles.

The Usos say the Vikings are fat.

Ricochet says he’s taking the Intercontinental Title from Sami Zayn.

Sami Zayn lists off his monikers and says after tonight, people will be talking about him being the best Intercontinental Champion.

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Sami Zayn

Ricochet is challenging and grabs a very fast rollup for two to start. Sami hits a running clothesline to slow him down and then suplexes Ricochet down on the apron as we take a break. Back with Ricochet snapping off a middle rope hurricanrana for two but Sami grabs a sitout powerbomb (with Ricochet landing hard) for two. Ricochet sends him outside and hits a handspring moonsault to take Sami down again.

Back in and Ricochet gets crotched on top, sending him outside in a crash. Cue Johnny Knoxville because of course here he is again, with Sami being distracted by the INTERCONTINENTAL CHUMP shirt. It’s enough of a distraction that Ricochet can grab a standing hurricanrana for the pin and the title at 7:35.

Rating: C+. Well ok then. I would not have have bet on that one but they had a surprise here with the title change. That is the kind of thing that they have been needing to do for Ricochet for a long time and if it means he gets a Wrestlemania title defense out of it, good for him. I know Knoxville vs. Zayn is coming, probably at Wrestlemania, but you can do that without the title just as well. I was surprised in a good way here so well done.

We look at Vince McMahon on the Pat McAfee Show, where he announced that he will be inducting the Undertaker into the Hall of Fame. He also offered McAfee a Wrestlemania match, which McAfee accepted.

Sami Zayn is losing his mind over Johnny Knoxville following him everywhere from Smackdown to social media. How about Knoxville follows him to Wrestlemania?

Cole asks McAfee who he will be facing at Wrestlemania but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. Theory introduces himself to the crowd and asks McAfee why Mr. McMahon was on his show. He finds it funny that McAfee thinks McMahon likes him (which makes McAfee laugh). Will McAfee be so happy when his jaw is wired shut?

Theory gets in his face and then slaps him, with Theory saying they’re facing off at Wrestlemania. Theory leaves and McAfee stands on the announcers’ table, telling him to come back here. With Theory gone, McAfee goes on a rant about how he was embarrassed in front of Miami and blames Michael Cole for what happened.

Naomi vs. Carmella

Sasha Banks and Queen Zelina are here too. Carmella gets her mask put on but Naomi wastes no time in kicking her in the face. Carmella is still fine enough to pull her off the top and into a chinlock, which Naomi breaks up in a hurry. Banks cuts off Zelina’s interference and it’s the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin at 2:07.

Happy Corbin beats Madcap Moss and some others at poker while bragging about his Wrestlemania success. That will keep going at Wrestlemania, when he beats Drew McIntyre. Moss gives us a McIntyre impression with his usual level of humor.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura have another Toyota Tundra commercial, this time hiking through the woods.

Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal

Shanky is here with Mahal. McIntyre gets knocked down for an early neck crank as McAfee continues to go after Cole for possibly having something to do with Theory earlier. That’s broken up and McIntyre starts hammering away until a Shanky distraction cuts him off. McIntyre takes care of him, setting up the Glasgow Kiss into the Claymore to finish Mahal at 2:04.

Post match McIntyre says he doesn’t care what Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin do. McIntyre asks for a show of hands of how many people want to gouge their eyes out when Corbin is on TV. The fans go up, including Kayla Braxton’s. McIntyre is taking Corbin out at Wrestlemania.

Back at the poker game, Corbin doesn’t like Moss’ jokes.

McAfee is very happy that Ronda Rousey is wrestling tonight.

We look back at last week’s contract signing between Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura are coming to the ring but the Usos jump them from behind and lay them out. Cue Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman so the Bloodline can go to the ring for a chat. Miami seems very happy to see and acknowledge Reigns, who talks about how he and Brock Lesnar are defending their titles at Madison Square Garden. You already know he is going to smash someone and send them to the back of the line like he has done for a year and a half.

Then you have Lesnar, and not all of us want to see him with that title, or even at Wrestlemania. Reigns wants him to be champion at Wrestlemania though, because he wants Lesnar to hand over the title. Heyman talks about spoilers, so maybe we should give Miami a spoiler. Reigns calls his shot like Babe Ruth and he delivers every single time. The spoiler is that at Wrestlemania, he is pinning Brock Lesnar and Lesnar will acknowledge him. Reigns seemed to snap a bit with that one and Cole thinks Lesnar is in his head.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Viking Raiders

The Raiders are challenging and the Usos are sent outside to start. Ivar dives off the apron to take both of them down, setting up the top rope splash for two on Jimmy in a very near fall. Jey breaks up the Viking Experience and the champs drop the Vikings out to the floor. Ivar gets posted and Erik gets tossed down hard as we take a break. Back with Jimmy’s Superfly Splash hitting Erik’s raised knees and the Viking Experience connects, with Jey making another save. Some superkicks get two on Erik but he reverses into a cradle for the same. The 1D connects to retain the Usos’ titles at 8:20.

Rating: B-. This was almost all action but what mattered the most was I bought into the near falls. There were multiple times where I thought the titles were going to change hands and that is proof they are doing something right. I’m going to assume that Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura are up next for the Usos and that could make for an interesting match, especially since it isn’t like there are any other fresh challengers for the titles.

Earlier today, New Day rode around backstage on Big E.’s ATV.

Sheamus vs. Big E.

Ridge Holland and Kofi Kingston are here too, with Kofi getting on the ATV before the bell. Holland chairs him from behind and then chairs the ATV. Sheamus chop blocks Big E. and he and Holland steal the ATV. No match.

During the break, Sheamus and Holland destroyed the ATV.

We look back at Ricochet winning the Intercontinental Title.

Johnny Knoxville accepts Sami Zayn’s Wrestlemania challenge.

Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss are playing darts when Drew McIntyre stabs the board with his sword to run them off.

We look back at Ronda Rousey’s interview last week, with Charlotte and Sonya Deville interrupting to take her out.

Ronda Rousey vs. Sonya Deville

Charlotte comes out to watch and the distraction lets Deville go after Rousey’s bad knee. The chinlock goes on as Charlotte sits in on commentary. Rousey fights up and chokes away in the ropes, setting up Piper’s Pit. The armbar finishes Deville at 3:12.

Rating: C-. That’s all it needed to be with Rousey shrugging off whatever Deville had and then beating her with the armbar as expected. Rousey needed to look dominant like this as she should be ready for Wrestlemania and the showdown with Charlotte. The good thing is that someone like Rousey doesn’t need much reheating and she is all but ready for the title match from here.

Post match Rousey calls Charlotte into the ring and actually gets what she wants, setting up an ankle lock (playing off Charlotte talking about Rousey being a one trick pony with the armbar) to make Charlotte tap to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a show that is going to get some mixed reviews because there wasn’t much in the way of wrestling, but they did take some steps towards Wrestlemania. Two more matches have been set and that is something that WWE has been needing to do for several weeks now. The Tag Team Title match was good and I liked the title change so the show did cover some important points outside of just Wrestlemania. Pretty good show, as it did some things that needed to be done.

Results
Ricochet b. Sami Zayn – Hurricanrana
Naomi b. Carmella – Split legged moonsault
Drew McIntyre b. Jinder Mahal – Claymore
Usos b. Viking Raiders – 1D to Erik
Ronda Rousey b. Sonya Deville – Armbar

 

 

 

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Smackdown – September 28, 2007: An Off Week

Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re just over a week away from No Mercy and the big Smackdown match is going to be Batista defending the World Title against the Great Khali inside the Punjabi Prison. I’m sure that won’t be a complete disaster as Khali can barely get through a regular match, but stranger things have happened. Now to build the rest of the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.We open with a recap of last week’s wedding between Teddy Long and Kristal, capped off by the traditional groom’s heart attack.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Vince McMahon and tells him that Teddy has been in a coma for a week and has a history of heart disease. Vince says the show must go on and makes Vickie the new General Manager. Vickie leaves so here is Finlay, who has some things in common with McMahon. They’re both Irish, but they also both have to deal with Hornswoggle. They’ll work on that later.

Opening sequence.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Victoria takes her down into a front facelock to start as we hear about various things involving looking at Torrie. Back up and Torrie sends her into the ropes and grabs a rollup for two. Cole talks about how much Torrie has improved in the ring but JBL says who cares as long as we can look at her. A snap suplex gives Victoria two but Torrie is back with a headscissors and clothesline. Torrie tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Victoria sits down on it and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match, but Cole is right that Torrie has improved in the ring. She’s never going to be the top worker in the division, but she can work a decent enough basic match. The match wasn’t terrible and given how some of the division can be, this was at least passable.

Post match another blonde (looks a good bit like Torrie) comes in and stomps Torrie down, before bending her back around the post to leave her laying.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge, complete with a bunch of people sitting in on the set. MVP talks about Teddy Long having a heart attack after bringing so much heartache to WWE. Long’s biggest accomplishment is bringing MVP to WWE with this big of a contract and that is because he is better than everyone else. Tonight happens to be a special night for MVP, because it is his one year anniversary around here.

Now he has captured the Tag Team Titles with Matt Hardy…who comes out to interrupt, complete with a gold bottle. Matt acknowledges that even though it isn’t his thing, the VIP Lounge is a big deal. That being said, he knew he had to be here because MVP is his partner and his homie. Matt even has a gift for him in the form of a highlight video of MVP’s first year in WWE. You can imagine all of the horrible things that happen to MVP in said video, which is complete with a lame pop song.

MVP snaps about the video but Matt says he was just ribbing him. Matt calms him down with the bottle, which is popped open and poured, which has MVP calmed down a bit. The toast though sees Matt insulting MVP, who throws Matt out. Hold on though as Matt has one more gift: MVP gets to face Kane tonight!

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra kicks him down and fires off some boots to the back before we hit the chinlock. Palumbo fights up with an elbow to the face and a backdrop as the pace picks up fast. A middle rope dive is countered into an overhead belly to belly to send Dykstra flying. The Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo in a hurry.

Rating: D+. It was another short match that didn’t have time to go anywhere, but what were you expecting from Palumbo vs. Dykstra? This match wasn’t designed to be some kind of a classic, though it isn’t a good sign when it is the second match in a row that would fit that description. Palumbo isn’t going very far around here, but he’s good enough for a lower card guy.

Steve Austin still things the Marine is pretty snazzy.

Jesse and Festus are ready to debut next week, with Jesse promising Festus will come to life when the bell rings.

Commentary explains the Punjabi Prison and look at Great Khali destroying Batista.

Batista joins us in the back for an interview and says he has no idea how a Punjabi Prison match works. JBL interprets this as him being scared but Batista says Khali will have to take the title from his cold, dead hands. The champ didn’t have much to say here.

Kane vs. MVP

Non-title and MVP starts by cranking on the arm, only to get thrown down by straight power. Some uppercuts in the corner look to set up the big boot but MVP bails to the floor for a breather. That’s enough for MVP to snap Kane’s throat across the top but Kane runs him over again. Kane charges into an elbow in the corner though and a suplex is countered into a DDT to give MVP two.

A neckbreaker gets two more and we hit the…neck pull? Either way, MVP lets him go and Kane is back up with an elbow to the face. The top rope clothesline misses though and MVP gets two more. We hit the arm crank for a bit before Kane is back up and kicking away at the ribs. The chokeslam is blocked and they hit heads for a double knockdown and a break.

Back with MVP cranking on both arms before a running boot in the corner connects for another two. Some running corner clotheslines into the side slam give Kane two of his own but MVP breaks up another top rope clothesline. The break up is broken up though and now the clothesline can connect. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP kicks him low for the DQ.

Rating: B. This started to roll near the end as MVP kept cutting off everything Kane threw at him. It was a question of how long MVP could hang in there before Kane finally caught him with something, which caused MVP to wrap it up with the DQ. Kane is having a rather nice run at the moment and I can always go for more of his good version.

The Diva Search girls had a limbo contest with Taryn winning. Lyndy is eliminated, crushing the dreams of dozens.

JBL brings out Rey Mysterio for an interview. He looks down at Rey and says Rey’s machismo is flat out stupidity, but Rey asks what’s up with the hatred. Does it bug JBL when he is here interviewing Rey instead of someone interviewing him? OF COURSE IT DOES, because JBL has twice the talent as Rey. That’s cool with Mysterio, who tells JBL to put up or shut up. JBL brings up Rey’s match against Great Khali next week and shoves him down, only to have Rey come back. The 619 is loaded up but here is Finlay with the Shillelagh to knock Rey cold.

Hornswoggle is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie says that the Cruiserweight Title is making him a target. It’s even worse because he is now a McMahon, so she is making him abdicate the title. Hornswoggle hands it over, and that’s that for the belt. Fair enough, as it isn’t like the title has meant anything in years.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

They start fast and head outside, with Moore sending him back first into the apron. Noble takes him off the top and grabs the Boston crab, sending Moore straight to the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker gets Moore out of trouble and a legdrop gives him two. Noble is back with something like a reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner, setting up a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C. Commentary kept hyping up the future of the cruiserweight division and if this is as good as it gets, they can’t get rid of the title fast enough. The division has not mattered for years now and the Hornswoggle reign was all the proof you could have needed. This was another completely watchable match, albeit one that felt like it meant a grand total of nothing.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to get the title back from Batista.

No Mercy rundown.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry goes straight to the floor to start (and might have gotten his leg caught in the ropes on the way out) and the fight is on. Back in and Undertaker gets up a boot in the corner before striking away. Old School is pulled out of the air and it’s Henry getting to hammer away even more. Undertaker sits up to avoid a big elbow though and there’s the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Henry quick.

Rating: C-. This felt like a way to write Henry off of the show for awhile as Undertaker shrugged off most of what Henry threw at him and then beat him with the chokeslam. I’m not sure what is next for Henry, but beating a monster like this is not the best sign for his future. Undertaker is probably back in the title picture sooner rather than later, as it is hard to keep him away from the belt for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the lamer Smackdowns in a long time as it felt like everyone was taking a week off. The only star power was Undertaker vs. Mark Henry in a match that felt like a post show dark match wound up on television. Maybe they were just taking a week off here, but there was almost nothing worth seeing here outside of Kane vs. MVP. I’d like to believe it’s a one off situation, but this wasn’t a good show.

 

 

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Smackdown – February 25, 2022: The Wrestlemania Problem

Smackdown
Date: February 25, 2022
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

Elimination Chamber is out of the way and that means it is time to start getting ready for Wrestlemania. In a normal year, most of Wrestlemania would already be set but WWE doesn’t operate that way, meaning they have about five weeks to get things ready. Hopefully they can start here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns so far this year, which has involved a lot of backstabbing and Lesnar World Title wins. As expected, all roads lead to the title vs. title showdown at Wrestlemania. The match is now officially a unification match.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce Ronda Rousey for a chat. Rousey talks about how she broke her hand in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Then she broke her other hand while she was rehabbing and then she got pregnant with her daughter. She wanted to come back because of her mother, who won the world championships in judo while she was a single mom and working towards her engineering degree. Cole lists off some of Rousey’s accomplishments but she would rather look forward to being the first woman in a long time to make Charlotte submit.

We see some stills of Charlotte attacking Rousey at Elimination Chamber and here is Charlotte to interrupt. She promises to make Rousey tap to the Figure Eight at Wrestlemania, meaning Rousey can go home and work on her second baby. Cue Sonya Deville to chop block Rousey from behind and the beatdown is on with the knee getting wrecked even more. Charlotte wraps it around the post a few times but Rousey still takes out Deville.

Post break, Adam Pearce makes Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey for next week, with Deville not looking thrilled.

Los Lotharios vs. New Day

The rubber match and New Day comes to the ring riding an ATV, which is Kofi’s birthday gift to Big E. Kofi takes Humberto into the corner to start and it’s Big E. coming in for a running shoulder in the corner. The spanking abdominal stretch goes on before it’s Kofi jumping over Big E. for a backsplash on Humberto. Angel gets in a cheap shot though and it’s a double ram into the apron. Angel TAKES OFF HIS PANTS and we take a break.

Back with Humberto grabbing a chinlock on Kofi as Cole hypes up Los Lotharios as a huge deal. Los Lotharios do the old Rockers double leg roll but Kofi kicks Angel down anyway for a needed breather. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house but Angel saves Humberto from a Big Ending. The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Angel and a wheelbarrow lift into a top rope bulldog (now the Midnight Hour) gets two with Humberto making the save.

Kofi is sent outside for a hard dive from Angel, who goes over to the ATV. Big E. isn’t having that and runs over Humberto, leaving Angel to superkick Kofi out of the air back inside. Angel goes up top…so Big E. threatens to run Humberto over with the ATV. That’s enough of a distraction for Kofi to knee Angel in the face, setting up the Midnight Hour (the traditional version) for the pin at 10:27. McAfee: “That was special.” It was good, but special?

Rating: B-. I know WWE wants this to be some big, epic feud but instead we have seen three matches between an all time team and a pretty good team. I need a bit more than that to get to some amazing level though and attempted vehicular assault didn’t exactly help things. Good TV match however and that’s always a positive.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura are on the road in a new Toyota Tundra truck. They go kayaking and have some more plans that we’ll see later. Good thing Nakamura is over losing his Intercontinental Title to make the commercial.

Sheamus and Ridge Holland cut off New Day on the ATV and a challenge seems to be made. New Day rides off and Sheamus is so mad that he throws his hat down.

Sam Roberts is here to interview the Usos, who are here for the Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar Wrestlemania contract signing. Reigns is going to take out Lesnar like they’re going to take out the Viking Raiders. The Raiders are said to smell bad, so here they are to jump the Usos.

We look at Xia Li saving Aliyah from a Natalya beatdown.

Xia Li is ready for her debut and has worked a long way to get here.

Xia Li vs. Natalya

Li flips over her to start and a dropkick gets an early two. Back up and Natalya’s discus clothesline gets one on Li and we hit the abdominal stretch with the leg lifted up. The fans start chanting for HERSHEY CHOCOLATE, which McAfee translates as XIA LI’S GOT IT as Li makes her comeback. Li sends her flying with a suplex and hits a spinwheel kick to finish Natalya at 4:01.

Rating: C-. You know, you bring in a woman as a striking machine who protects people and want her to get over. Maybe having her sell Natalya’s abdominal stretch in her debut isn’t the best way to go. The fans didn’t seem interested, and I can’t say I blame them. Li ran in to save Aliyah last week and then can’t even kick someone’s head off to win in ten seconds? Really?

We look back at Sami Zayn beating Shinsuke Nakamura to win the Intercontinental Title last week.

Here is a VERY happy Sami Zayn in his loud (and golden) tuxedo to say we he has FINALLY gotten his justice. The Intercontinental Title is laying on a table and there are balloons on the corners, even if they don’t match. The old Sami would say it’s just a conspiracy though and now there is a question to answer: if he was able to get the title back, was there ever a conspiracy against him in the first place? OF COURSE THERE WAS!

But that’s in the past, so now he’s willing to give Shinsuke Nakamura a rematch, but Nakamura is still putting his kneecap back together so he needs a new opponent. Cue Johnny Knoxville, because of course it’s him. Knoxville says he heard Sami say he needed a new challenger and since Sami interrupted his premiere, Knoxville is here to crash his. Sami says it isn’t going to work but Knoxville questions his testicular fortitude. That’s enough for Sami, who beats Knoxville up and hits a pair of Helluva Kicks.

This week’s Black History Month video looks at Titus O’Neil’s awesome charity work.

Adam Pearce is yelling at Sami Zayn in the back about what he did to Johnny Knoxville. Ricochet pops in to say if Sami wants to be a fighting champion, Ricochet is right here. Pearce makes the title match for next week.

Sasha Banks vs. Shotzi

Naomi joins commentary as Sasha starts fast with Two Amigos. Shotzi blocks the third but gets rolled up for two. Sasha sends her face first into the middle buckle and it’s a middle rope Meteora to drop Shotzi again. A running basement Codebreaker (that’s a new one) sets up the Bank Statement to complete the squash at 2:11.

Post match Naomi comes in to say she and Banks are going to be the next Women’s Tag Team Champions.

We go to the back, where the interviewer says she doesn’t know what Naomi means by that. Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin come in, with Corbin mocking Moss for his big crash landing at Elimination Chamber. Tonight Corbin is going to take Moss’ place against Drew McIntyre and that is no joke.

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin

Hold on though as Corbin grabs the mic and says this is a Wrestlemania match. Corbin praises Madcap Moss’ toughness after being healthy despite landing so badly at Elimination Chamber. Moss gets on the apron to pose but then Corbin tells him to take this match instead. Corbin and Moss jump McIntyre before the bell and we’re ready to go anyway.

Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss

Moss jumps him in the corner but gets Glasgow Kissed out of the corner. The reverse Alabama Slam is loaded up but Moss bails to the floor instead as we take a break. Back with Moss hitting a running shoulder for two but McIntyre is right back up with the snap belly to belly. The Claymore is loaded up so Corbin offers a distraction, allowing Moss to send McIntyre into the post. A DDT gets two but McIntyre pops back up to hit the Claymore for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C-. Most years I get excited about Wrestlemania because it is the biggest wrestling event of the year and it feels special. This year I’m excited about Wrestlemania because, at least hopefully, it means that McIntyre vs. Corbin/Moss can be over already. I’m not sure who thought this feud needed to go on for three months, but WWE has some weird ideas.

We look back at Rousey getting attacked earlier tonight.

Rousey promises to take out Sonya Deville next week.

It’s time for the Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar contract signing, with the Usos and Paul Heyman here with Reigns. Before Lesnar shows up, Heyman talks about how this will be the biggest Wrestlemania match in history. It’s bigger than Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant and bigger than Steve Austin vs. the Rock. It’s even bigger than Heyman breaking the Undertaker’s Streak, though he’ll still give Lesnar half credit.

Heyman talks about how Reigns is going to become the unified champion at Wrestlemania and that is what we call a cliffhanger. After a sudden break (nice one from Heyman), here is Lesnar to join things. Lesnar handles his own introductions and says that he isn’t scared of the security that is in the ring. The only things stopping Lesnar from jumping the table right now is this contract.

Lesnar signs, so Heyman says the match isn’t going to be a unification match. Heyman promises that Lesnar is going to lose the title in Madison Square Garden next Saturday. Reigns signs too and then says that the WWE Title is his too. It’s not even Lesnar’s fault because this is Reigns’ show and ring. It’s his camerman and his people because they acknowledge him. These commentators are his because they praise him. Everyone works for him, including the security. The fight is on with Lesnar wrecking the guard, including throwing a char at one of them. Reigns looks nervous to end the show.

Reigns starting to get worried about what he is facing at Wrestlemania is a good adjustment but dang it’s hard to care about this match again. I know it’s the best way to go and pretty much the only thing that they have for Reigns, but how many times do we need to see these two fight?

Overall Rating: C-. The biggest problem with this show is that it is building towards a Wrestlemania that does not look great. So far, with about five weeks to go, we have four matches set up, one of which involves Logan Paul and another which is likely to involve Johnny Knoxville. Reigns vs. Lesnar looms over everything else and it makes this rapid fire build feel so unimportant. This week’s show was another pretty run of the mill edition, with wrestling that wasn’t all that great and some stuff being built to Wrestlemania, but egads they don’t have much interesting going on at the moment and it is hurting badly.

Results
New Day b. Los Lotharios – Midnight Hour to Angel
Xia Li b. Natalya – Spinwheel kick
Sasha Banks b. Shotzi – Bank Statement
Drew McIntyre b. Madcap Moss – Claymore

 

 

 

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