Smackdown – August 3, 2007: I Guess That’s Wrestling

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are on the way to Summerslam and now we have a main event set for the show. Batista will be challenging the Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title, which you probably could have seen coming. Other than that, we’re getting some kind of competition between Matt Hardy and MVP, which will NOT be wrestling, because that would be too appropriate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista interrupting Great Khali’s celebration last week (kind of a jerk move really) and setting up the Summerslam title match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat. Kristal says Teddylicious (JBL is gone off that one) has an announcement: the wedding will take place on September 21 and everyone here is invited! All you would have to do is come to Atlanta! Cue the Great Khali with Runjin Singh to interrupt though and Long is a bit nervous. Khali speaks to Long and screams at Kristal, who runs off. Singh translates, as Khali wants Batista for what happened last week, but Long doesn’t like how Khali spoke to the two of them. The title match is on for Summerslam though.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

Masters grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away without much trouble. Kane chokes away in the corner and cranks on the arm to take Masters down. Masters manages to snap him throat first across the top rope and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex though and Kane adds a regular one for a bonus. Kane hammers away in the corner and hits the running clothesline into the side slam. Masters tries the Masterlock again but gets reversed into a chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Basic power match here with Masters not being able to hook his one big move and getting chokeslammed instead. This was a fine way to keep Kane looking strong before he goes into whatever he’s doing at Summerslam. Masters…well he’s still employed and that’s impressive at this point.

Deuce N Domino are ready to take out Batista and Ric Flair. Deuce didn’t like Batista looking at Cherry….who is missing.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Splash and bearhug finish for Henry in about a minute.

Henry says no one of consequence will take his challenge because of this, which sends us to a video on his dominance.

Jesse and Festus want to make sure they are well dressed, but only Jesse comes close.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. MVP, the latter of whom says he can beat Matt in anything.

It’s time for arm wrestling, with MVP taking his time like any heel in an arm wrestling contest. We go long form with the stalling so Matt finally grabs the hand and makes him start. Matt wins, sending MVP into a rant about how he can beat Matt in anything.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title and joined in progress with Matt working on the arm. Matt sends the arm into the buckle and cranks away a bit before taking it down into an armbar. A Stunner on the arm gets two but MVP snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Now it’s MVP getting to crank on both arms at once but Matt throws him down and fires off right hands.

MVP is right back with the big boot, which sends Matt out to the floor to cut off the cover. The front facelock goes on back inside, because kicking Matt in the head again isn’t an option for some reason. Matt powers up and grabs a suplex to escape, followed by the clotheslines. A bulldog gives Matt two and a Side Effect is good for the same. The threat of the Twist of Fate sends MVP outside again and this time he takes the countout.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together and now the feud gets to continue. The good thing is they didn’t do something stupid here like have a surprise fall, as MVP bailing to talk more trash later is the right way to go. Hardy is actually on a heck of a roll at the moment and hopefully that leads somewhere good.

Domino is looking for Cherry and finds her coming out of Batista’s locker room. They leave with Deuce, but Ric Flair was inside. Batista pops up for some smiling as I have a lot of questions.

Jamie Noble runs into a laughing Funaki and Shannon Moore, who mock him for being short and losing to Hornswoggle. Noble gets frustrated as Hornswoggle pops out of a garbage can.

Rey Mysterio is back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Kristal. The latter leaves so Chavo talks about putting Rey Mysterio out of action. Vickie gives him Rey at Summerslam.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Noble forearms him in the back of the head to start and some headbutts keep Moore in trouble. Moore fights up and hits Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind for two, only to walk into a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, but it was a way to get Noble on the show, likely for what will be a goofy post match bit with Hornswoggle. That’s hardly the most thrilling deal, but at least they’re doing something with the title. Now granted they haven’t had a chance to turn it into a full on joke yet, but give them some time.

Post match here’s Hornswoggle for the chase, capped off with Noble getting hit with a pie (which he just happened to have laying around). Then Hornswoggle steps on him and runs away.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Victoria and cowgirl Torrie Wilson are here. Yang grabs a headlock to start and hits a hard clothesline to the floor. The ensuing dive takes Dykstra out again but he’s right back with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on, followed by a suplex and another chinlock. Dykstra ties him in the Tree of Woe, where Victoria gets in a few shots of her own.

Yang doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a dropkick, followed by the running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody is knocked out of the air though, meaning Dykstra can go up as well. This time it’s Yang kicking him down, setting up the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. The more I watch these shows, the more amazed I am by how how nothing a lot of these matches seem to be. Yang is just shy of being a comedy character (who can wrestle a nice enough match) and he’s having a match with another low level guy like Dykstra. It’s not bad action or anything, but there isn’t much to draw anyone in here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Batista punches away at Deuce to start and it’s off to Flair for a hiptoss. It’s back to Batista for an armbar, which doesn’t last very long. Instead Flair comes back in and is backdropped down to give Deuce N Domino a breather. Domino hits a jumping back elbow to the jaw for two and we take a break.

Back with Batista getting to clean house and handing it off to Flair for the Figure Four. Domino makes the fast save though and it’s an armbar to keep Flair down. Deuce punches away to set up the Flair Flop and the armbar goes on again. Flair is bleeding from the eye, meaning Domino can stay on the arm. An elbow to the face gets Flair out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. The spear and spinning Boss Man Slam connect…and here is Great Khali. The distraction lets Deuce N Domino jump Batista and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Batista and Flair still work well together and it wouldn’t have been a terrible upset, but the champs can’t beat Flair in a tag match? With distraction included? I know their reign is all but dead but egads man. Pretty good for a low level main event though, and Khali vs. Batista is built up some more. The match is going to be ugly, but they’re doing something to set it up.

Post match Khali puts Flair in a claw hold and knocks him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show overall, but another show you didn’t need to see. That happens too frequently around Smackdown and it is never a good thing to see. They did add a few more matches to Summerslam, but another Rey vs. Chavo match is hardly the big drawing card for the show. Matt vs. MVP is good for a secondary feud though and if they can find a good angle, the title change should work out well. Overall pretty good, but they fall off after a certain point when it comes to feeling important.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – July 27, 2007: Celebrate With Half The Opponents

Smackdown
Date: July 27, 2007
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Great American Bash and we’re still living in the Great Khali’s world. Khali survived against Kane and Batista in a triple threat match and now we need a new challenger. By that it probably means one of the two, and since Kane got pinned, Batista would seem to be a likely option. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a triple threat recap as Khali retains the title.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Deuce

Domino and Cherry are here with Deuce. Batista powers him down with as much effort as you would expect him to need and then does it again. Domino offers a distraction though and Batista gets kicked out to the floor. Back in and Deuce scores with a kick to the head before avoiding a charge to send Batista into the post. The armbar goes on for a bit but Deuce spends too much time trash talking, allowing Batista to hit a spear. Some clotheslines set up the shoulders in the corner and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Deuce off.

Rating: C. This was a heck of a lot more competitive than I would have bet on and that’s not the worst thing. Batista should have to break a sweat to beat a champion, even if it is Deuce. It might not have been a great match, but it makes sense to get Batista out there in front of the fans.

We look at Hornswoggle winning the Cruiserweight Title.

Jamie Noble is sick of people laughing at him for losing to Hornswoggle so tonight it is time for him to get the title back.

Michelle McCool likes to swim.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging but there is no Hornswoggle to start. With no champ, Noble checks underneath the ring but Hornswoggle pops up in the ring because of course he does. Noble gets back in so Hornswoggle can bite/kick his leg for some early annoyance. They head outside and Noble kicks the steps by mistake. Hornswoggle tricks him into missing a charge and it’s a dropkick for two on Noble. Back up and Hornswoggle gets tossed outside, where the chase is on. Noble manages to rib off Hornswoggle’s shoe…but falls and gets counted out. Somehow, Cole interprets this as a pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might make the title feel a bit more important than it has in months. Yes it was comedy and the champ made Noble look like an idiot, but I’ll almost take this over the lifeless matches that we had for such a long time. Hornswoggle is little more than a joke as champion but it’s not like the title has meant anything in a long time anyway.

Video on Rey Mysterio, who is on his way back.

We look at the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero I Quit match where Chavo destroyed Rey’s knee to put him on the shelf.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eugene

Apparently Eugene and Cole had a nice chat earlier today. Chavo goes after the knee to start and we hit the half crab to make it worse. That’s broken up and the bad knee means Eugene can’t get the airplane spin. Instead, Chavo can belly to back suplex him down and it’s back to the knee. The leg cranking is on and Chavo bends the knee around the rope. Chavo sends him face first into the corner and Eugene’s comeback is on, meaning the airplane spin can work this time. That’s enough for Chavo, who hits a quick brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was about all you could get out of Chavo vs. Eugene with Chavo working on the knee to show he’s ready for the return of Rey Mysterio. Other than that though, it was little more than a squash with Guerrero never being in any serious danger. Fine enough to build Chavo back up though, assuming you can get invested in a Chavo Guerrero feud.

Ric Flair and Matt Hardy are ready for their tag match.

Jesse and Festus really love America.

MVP/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Ric Flair

Hardy starts with MVP but it’s off to Masters before anything gets going. Masters fights out of an early headlock and powers Hardy into the corner for a shot to the face. MVP comes in and stomps away in the corner but it’s quickly off to Flair for a bunch of chops. The villains are knocked outside for a breather and we take an early break.

Back with Flair working on MVP’s leg but a rope is grabbed in a hurry. Hardy comes in for a few shots and it’s right back to Flair for more chops. One of them knocks MVP over for the tag to Masters, who unloads in the corner. MVP’s running boot in the corner knocks Flair silly and it’s off to a hammerlock. Masters comes back in for a powerslam and an armbar but Flair fights up in a hurry. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Hardy so house can be cleaned. The Side Effect gets two with MVP making a fast save. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Masters (with MVP not bothering to make another save).

Rating: C+. Hardy gets a win back to start his rebuilding and that is a good idea. Ultimately, Hardy is probably not done with MVP and the title so it makes a lot of sense to put him in in a spot like this. Flair and Masters were just kind of there, but at least they did something to keep the match fresh.

Post match MVP says that doesn’t matter because he’s still the US Champion. Hardy brought everything he had at the Great American Bash and lost, because he can’t beat MVP at anything. Matt tells him to put his money where his mouth is and give him another title shot. MVP says the title is off the table but Matt can’t beat him at anything, from baseball to running to chess or anything else. That’s fine with Matt, who says he’ll pick a bunch of games and beat MVP every single time. Then MVP will have no choice but to give Matt a US Title shot. I think Matt’s logic might be a bit off there.

Chuck Palumbo loves motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Joey Blaylock

Henry runs him over without much trouble to start and adds a big boot. A powerslam and splash get two, with Henry picking him up. The bearhug finishes Blaylock in a hurry.

Post match, Henry says no man or beast can beat him and tosses Blaylock outside. That was such a bad beating that Henry beat the Blaylock out of him and turned the guy into Joey Ryan.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long and Kristal are talking wedding plans when Ron Simmons comes in. Long asks him to be the best man, which is good for a catchphrase and an emotional hug. The guys are off for some cigars and reminiscing.

Here’s the same video on the Great American Bash triple threat from earlier.

Edge had his torn pectoral muscle fixed and he still blames Kane.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor isn’t scared and slugs away to start, earning himself a toss across the ring. Kane unloads in the corner and drops an elbow, only to get uppercutted some more. An armbar actually has Kane in a bit more trouble and Taylor pounds him into the corner again. Kane isn’t having that though and scores with a running clothesline, setting up the sidewalk slam. There’s the top rope clothesline and Kane hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Who would have thought that Taylor would give Kane a bit of a fight here? Taylor is someone who certainly does put in the effort every time he is out there and it gives you a match that is far better than you would expect. Kane seems primed for a big enough match at Summerslam, though I’m not sure who he could face.

Torrie Wilson has gone cowgirl for her mixed tag with Jimmy Wang Yang against Victoria and Kenny Dykstra. And no, apparently the shorts aren’t too short.

Torrie Wilson/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Victoria goes after Torrie before the bell but it’s Dykstra clotheslining Yang a few times to start instead. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Yang’s back as commentary talks about how Torrie looks. Yang fights up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the double tag to the women. Some clotheslines have Victoria in trouble but she comes right back with the spinning side slam for two. The double arm crank goes on but Torrie is back up with a swinging neckbreaker. Torrie has to crawl away from Dykstra though…and it’s off to Yang a few seconds later anyway. The moonsault press finishes Dykstra without much trouble.

Rating: D. They had a short and bad match as commentary talked about how great Torrie looked throughout. That’s about all you can expect here and I can’t say I’m surprised. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do and Torrie wearing the outfit was there to be more fun and silly than anything else, which didn’t help the match that much.

It’s time for Great Khali’s World Championship celebration, complete with a bunch of dancers and music setting up his entrance. Khali and Runjin Singh come out, with Khali holding the title upside down again. Singh translates Khali’s yelling, which is bragging about all of his accomplishments. Now he is one of the greatest Indians of all time, like M. Night Shyamalan and Mother Teresa! It is time for Punjabi dancing but, after a good while, Batista interrupts. The challenge for a title match is on and a spear drops Khali to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a very good show and I’m not sure I can see it getting better anytime in the near future. There was very little worth seeing on here and I don’t know how good things are going to be on the way to Summerslam. Edge being gone hurt things but it wasn’t like it was a great weekly show before his injury. It wasn’t a very good show, but it was more uninteresting than anything else.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – December 24, 2021: Santa Will Be Pleased (Maybe)

Smackdown
Date: December 24, 2021
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s Christmas Eve and thankfully we are taped instead of running a live show. We have a stacked card this week too, with a 12 man gauntlet match for to crown a new #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title, along with a showdown for the SmackDown Women’s Title as Charlotte defends against Toni Storm. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last year’s show, with Roman Reigns hugging Paul Heyman, then firing him and laying him out with the Superman Punch. Then it was Brock Lesnar coming out and attacking Reigns to wrap things up.

Earlier today, Kayla Braxton sat down with a disheveled Paul Heyman (he needs to shave) so he can tell his side of the story. What happened was he was publicly fired, publicly attacked and publicly shamed. He told Roman Reigns the truth and he paid the price for it, publicly. Heyman doesn’t regret telling the truth because he was doing his job as special counsel.

Last week, his things had been thrown out of the locker room, but he had done his job. Reigns is the greatest Universal Champion of all time, but he needs to be protected from Brock Lesnar. Maybe now he needs to go to NXT and cherry pick a top talent and start over. But no, not at this stage. He put everything into Roman Reigns, but without him, maybe it’s time to acknowledge that his career is most likely over. Sweet goodness this man is talented.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Toni Storm

Charlotte is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Storm not being able to get very far. Charlotte kicks her in the ribs but gets crossbodied down for an early one. The champ needs a breather on the floor before coming back in to stomp/chop away in the corner. We hit the figure four necklock for a bit until Charlotte flips her over, setting up the nipup. Back up and Storm scores with a headbutt, only to get kicked out to the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Charlotte slapping her in the face and shouting about how much better she is than Storm. That’s enough to get Storm back up, so Charlotte blasts her with a clothesline. Storm finally hits a snap suplex but Charlotte forearms her in the corner. The Downward Spiral into the middle buckle cuts Storm off yet again, setting up the double moonsault for a double two.

Natural Selection is blocked though and Storm hits a quick German suplex. Not that it matters as Charlotte pulls her into the Figure Four (it takes a bit but she gets there), forcing Toni to roll into the ropes for the break. Back up and a big boot sends Storm out to the floor to keep up the near dominance. Some rollups give Storm two but Charlotte reverses into a small package of her own to retain at 14:35.

Rating: B-. Charlotte dominated the majority of the match until it felt like she caught Storm in the end. This was a feud that saw Charlotte get the better of things far more often than not and then beat Storm up in the title match. I’m not sure how this helped Storm in almost any way, but it wasn’t exactly a great look for her. I’m almost scared to see what is next for Charlotte, as she is running out of people to beat.

We look back at Drew McIntyre pulling Angela out of the desk after Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss couldn’t make it work.

Drew McIntyre and New Day are ready for the Usos and Madcap Moss tonight. It might even be time for some SEASONS BEATINGS!

Xia Li doesn’t like women like Natalya, who crush other women’s spirits. Violence/vengeance is promised.

Gauntlet Match

It’s a 12 Days Of Christmas Gauntlet Match with the winner getting an Intercontinental Title shot against Shinsuke Nakamura (ringside with Rick Boogs). Angel is in at #1 and Mansoor is in at #2 with the latter being pulled off the top for an early and nasty crash. An enziguri doesn’t get Mansoor very far as Angel hits the Wing Clipper for the pin at 1:36.

Erik is in at #3 and gets kicked off the apron before the bell. Angel tries a moonsault to the floor but gets pulled out of the air. Erik slams him hard on the floor and we take a break. Back with Erik kneeing him in the face for two but missing the running knees in the corner. Another Wing Clipper ends Erik at 6:59 and it’s Shanky in at #4.

A dropkick has no effect on Shanky, who knocks Angel hard into the corner. Wade Barrett’s old Wasteland ends Angel at 8:31 and it’s Ivar in at #5. A big boot drops Ivar but he’s right back up with some corner clotheslines to put Shanky down for a change. The Viking Splash ends Shanky at 9:51 so here is Sheamus in at #6. Sheamus hammers away but gets punched out to the floor as we take another break. Back again with Sheamus grabbing the chinlock to keep Ivar in trouble. That’s broken up with viking power but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him for the pin at 15:50.

Drew Gulak is in at #7 and gets Brogue Kicked for the pin at 16:31. Cesaro is in at #8 with bad ribs but hits a high crossbody for two anyway. That’s a Regal roll onto the ribs and we hit an armbar of all things to keep Cesaro down. Cesaro fights up but it’s a Ridge Holland distraction so Sheamus can hit another Brogue Kick for the pin at 21:18. Ricochet is in at #9 and kicks Sheamus outside for a heck of a top rope Asai moonsault to send us to another break.

Back again with Sheamus hitting the Irish Curse and grabbing a chinlock. Sheamus powerslams him to cut off a comeback attempt, setting up the ten forearms to the chest. A top rope clothesline misses though and Ricochet grabs a tornado DDT for two more. Ricochet’s Lionsault hits knees so Sheamus grabs a small package for a very near fall. Sheamus gets knocked off the top to set up a standing moonsault for two more. Holland offers another distraction though, allowing Sheamus to knee Ricochet off the apron. Cue Cesaro to take out Holland to distract Sheamus, with Ricochet getting the rollup pin at 30:52.

Humberto is in at #10 but first, Sheamus gets to knock Ricochet silly again. Humberto’s moonsault hits raised knees though and it’s the Recoil for the pin at 32.21. Jinder Mahal is in at #11 and drops Ricochet onto the apron toput him in trouble. The Khallas is countered into a cradle to give rid of Mahal at 33:01 though and it’s Sami Zayn in at #12. We take another break and come back with Sami pounding him in the corner and hitting a clothesline for two.

Sami goes up and talks trash, with the delay being enough for Ricochet to snap off a super hurricanrana for two of his own. Ricochet blocks the Blue Thunder Bomb and hits a crossbody for two more. The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Sami a rather near fall but he can’t hit an exploder into the corner. Another attempt does connect but the Helluva Kick is cut off with a superkick. The Benedriller gives Ricochet a very close two so Ricochet heads up top. The shooting star press only hits knees though and it’s a second exploder into the corner. Now Sami can hit the Helluva Kick for the pin and the win at 42:16.

Rating: B-. This was rather long and that’s a good idea on a show like this one. Sami winning wasn’t quite a huge surprise, as he has been quite the focal point of Smackdown for the last few weeks. It wouldn’t surprise me to see him getting the title in the end. Nakamura has done well as champion, but Sami has more of a story going and it would make sense to see him win. The rest of the match had its moments, especially from Ricochet and Sheamus, but a lot of people were in and out without much going on. You have to do something like that in this kind of a match, though it does mean things go rather fast.

We look back at Roman Reigns firing Paul Heyman again.

We get a long, detailed look at Paul Heyman’s career, including a good bit of WCW and ECW footage. After a look at everything that happened to him with Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns, we wrap it up with the ending of the show’s opening segment, with Heyman saying his career is probably over. This was pretty cool and showed you just how far Heyman has come in his career.

Madcap Moss/Usos vs. Drew McIntyre/New Day

Miracle on 34th Street Fight with Happy Corbin in Moss/Usos’ corner. Woods headlocks Jey to start and then decks him with a forearm. It’s off to Kofi for the slingshot Vader Bomb but he gets taken into the wrong corner. That doesn’t last long though as McIntyre gets the tag so he can hammer on Moss for a bit. Everything breaks down and it’s Corbin coming in with a candy cane kendo stick to drop McIntyre. The other four fight on the stage, with New Day being thrown through boxes and trees.

We take a break and come back with everyone at ringside, including the Usos still using the boxes on New Day. Kofi gets crushed between two trees (Cole: “The old Christmas tree sandwich!”) as Moss stops McIntyre with some raised boots in the corner. McIntyre is back with a suplex as Woods finds a chair in one of the boxes. We go ECW with a Van Daminator to Jimmy but some egg nog seems to slow him down.

That leaves Kofi to Boom Drop Jimmy, followed by a top rope spinning hurricanrana (cool). It’s time to bring in the cookies, which Kofi slams onto the Usos’ heads, because it’s a theme thing. Moss yells at McIntyre so it’s some snap belly to belly suplexes into a neckbreaker for Moss’ troubles. Corbin breaks up the Claymore though so Kofi egg nogs him. McIntyre does the same to Corbin and Moss at the same time, leaving Woods to kick Corbin into the announcers’ table. The Claymore finishes Moss at 12:30.

Rating: C. This is a match where your tolerance for goofy themed comedy will decide everything. Ignoring all that though, this was mainly a not that great six man, with the good guys fighting from underneath to win in the end. That’s not the most thrilling way to wrap it up, but at least McIntyre got to kick Moss in the face. For a fun main event on a less than serious show, not too shabby though.

Post match McIntyre and New Day throw presents into the crowd (McIntyre seems rather proud of one of his throws) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The Heyman stuff was excellent and makes me wonder where the story is going. Throw in a good and rather long gauntlet match, a somewhat depressing Women’s Title match and a fun enough main event and we’ll call this a goodish show. It’s definitely a week that seems like they were taking the night off, but at least they did enough good things to carry us to the last week of the year.

Results
Charlotte b. Toni Storm- Small package
Sami Zayn won a gauntlet match last eliminating Ricochet
New Day/Drew McIntyre b. Madcap Moss/Usos – Claymore to Moss

 

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Smackdown – July 20, 2007: And New

Smackdown
Date: July 20, 2007
Location: Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and the two big matches are set. We’ll be seeing Batista vs. Great Khali plus Edge defending the World Title against Kane. Before we get there though, Edge has some kind of a major announcement, which does not exactly bode well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Teddy Long is in the ring with a big announcement: Edge is injured and has to vacate the World Title. Cue Edge, who asks for some appropriate lighting. Edge talks about how no one believed he could get here but he came back for the fans and to prove it to himself. Last week, Kane attacked him without provocation, because Kane knew he couldn’t win on his own at the Great American Bash.

Edge tore his pectoral muscle and is going to be out of action for four months. He has even prepared a tribute video for our enjoyment, which says he’s simply the best. Long thinks this is a bit too much drama but Edge can come back, win some matches, and get another title shot.

As for tonight though, we’ll be having a twenty man battle royal to crown a new World Champion. Edge can’t hand the title over because he can’t believe we’re moving on so quickly. Long doesn’t really want to hear it but Edge promises to get the title back. He hands the belt over and walks away, looking like he’s about to cry. That’s a pretty big shakeup but the battle royal to crown a new champion taking place so fast is a nice surprise.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Victoria powers her into the corner and hammers away to start but Torrie actually takes things to the floor. The brawl is on with Torrie unloading before taking it back inside for a small package. Victoria kicks her in the face and grabs a chinlock before sending Torrie head first into the mat. The swinging neckbreaker gives Torrie two but Victoria is right back with the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Rating: C-. Torrie was working hard here and looked a lot more comfortable in the ring, but ultimately this match is a good example of what’s wrong with the women’s division without a title. There’s nothing to these matches other than personal issues, and almost all of those tend to be based on how one of the women looks. That’s not going to get you very far and it certainly hasn’t with this, making these matches little more than filler.

Rey Mysterio is coming back.

We look back at Edge vacating the title.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Chris Masters, Eugene, Great Khali, Batista, Finlay, Deuce, Domino, MVP, Matt Hardy, Brian Major, Brett Major, Jamie Noble, Chavo Guerrero, Funaki, Jimmy Wang Yang, Dave Taylor, Shannon Moore, Kane, Kenny Dykstra

For the vacant title and only a handful get entrances. The bell rings to start said entrances, with Yang thinking the match was starting and kicking Taylor before realizing he jumped the gun. It’s a big brawl to start and Henry tosses one Major at another to get rid of both. Moore and Funaki are out as well and we take a break. Back with Khali and Henry knocking people down (not out) and the staredown is on…until everyone else jumps Henry to get rid of him.

A bunch of people hit other people with Khali shrugging off anyone who gets in a few shots. Batista tosses Deuce, Domino and Taylor but turns around to face off with Kane. Noble goes after both of them and is tossed with ease, followed by Eugene getting the same treatment to get us down to ten. We take another break and come back again with Dykstra being tossed out.

MVP misses his running boot in the corner and gets tossed by Hardy. The Masterlock has Yang in trouble but Chavo makes the save for no logical reason. Yang saves Chavo as well and the two of them get rid of Masters. Chavo goes after Yang and gets eliminated as a result, leaving us with Hardy, Yang, Kane, Batista, Khali and Finlay. Yang is sat on the apron, allowing Hornswoggle to pop up and get rid of him.

Khali kicks Hardy out and we’re down to four. Finlay is knocked outside (not eliminated), leaving Khali to beat on Kane and Batista. Now it’s Finlay coming back in with the shillelagh but Kane grabs him by the throat. Batista breaks that up with a spear and gets rid of Finlay, leaving us with three. Batista goes after Kane on the ropes but Khali tosses both of them for the win and the title.

Rating: C. It’s a very long battle royal but something with stakes like this should be getting the extra time. Khali winning the title is a good way to go as he is the ultimate monster to slay. You can pick someone to do that and get a good story out of it (ok it’s going to be Batista) so this is about as logical of a choice as they had given the circumstances.

Post match Khali is presented with the title, which he holds upside down.

Post break, Khali and Runjin Singh talks about the celebrations going on around the world. The days of Indians being labeled as quicky mart owners and cab drivers and doctors is over. Khali is everyone’s champion.

Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long realize Great Khali needs a challenger at the Great American Bash. The solution: Kane vs. Batista in a #1 contenders match later tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy vs. Kenny Dykstra

Both of them are banged up from the battle royal. Hardy rolls him up for an early two as we see MVP watching. A headlock takeover keeps Dykstra in trouble and a sunset flip gives Hardy two as commentary goes at it over MVP’s bragging. Dykstra manages to snap the throat across the top rope, setting up a slingshot elbow back inside.

Back to back clotheslines get two but Hardy fights out of a sleeper in a hurry. Dykstra is right back up with a chinlock so Hardy has to escape again, this time scoring with a clothesline. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck sets up the Twist of Fate to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t quite up to the levels that Hardy has been hitting as of late, but he’s going into his US Title match on a roll and that’s a great thing. It never ceases to amaze me how WWE knows how to do something like this but continues to screw it up so often. Hardy has won a lot of matches and is ready for a title match. Why is that so hard to do?

Chuck Palumbo really likes motorcycles.

Jesse and Festus want to be on magazine covers.

MVP goes on a rant about being better than anyone and everyone around here, including Matt Hardy.

Great American Bash rundown.

Kane vs. Batista

The winner gets the shot at Great Khali on Sunday. They start slowly until Batista shoulders him down for an early two. Kane takes him into the corner for the uppercut and a slam evens the near fall score. The chinlock doesn’t do much on Batista, who powers out without too much trouble. Batista’s bodyscissors is broken in a hurry as well so Kane hits a hard clothesline. A big boot puts Batista outside and we take a break.

Back with Kane hammering away in the corner and having to escape the Batista Bomb attempt. Kane’s top rope clothesline misses though and Batista is back with the spinebuster. The spear is cut off and it’s a chokeslam for two on Batista. They head outside again, with Batista sending him into the steps. Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder….and here is Khali to jump Batista, which will be called a double DQ/no contest, because rules don’t mean much in comparison to the power of the WWE script.

Rating: C+. Not a bad power match, but you could probably guess how the ending was going to go. They have three people for two matches so the triple threat is the only thing they can do, outside of moving someone else into the main event scene. It was starting to pick up near the end, but they needed to get to the ending so I can’t get that annoyed.

Teddy Long comes out to make the triple threat title match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They did what they could here as the Edge injury turned everything upside down. All things considered, this could have been far worse and it was nice to see them getting it as right as they did. The wrestling was the usual middle of the road stuff, but it was certainly historic with the new champion. Not a great show, but it put out some fires in efficient enough fashion.

 

 

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Smackdown – December 17, 2021: They Made A Move

Smackdown
Date: December 17, 2021
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re rapidly approaching Day One and the big main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns is all set. That should open a few interesting doors this week, but there are some other matches that need some work of their own. Hopefully the build keeps working so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week, with Paul Heyman not liking the friendlier Brock Lesnar and seemingly snapping him back into Beast Mode. Roman Reigns might not be pleased though.

Toni Storm/Sasha Banks vs. Shotzi/Charlotte

Fallout from Storm becoming #1 contender to Charlotte last week when Charlotte kicked her face in. Storm takes Shotzi down with a headlock to start and then kicks her in the chest. Banks, in Spider-Man gear, comes in for the showdown with Charlotte, who gets taken down with a running hurricanrana. It’s back to Storm, allowing Charlotte to kick Banks in the face. Shotzi knocks Storm outside as well and we take a break.

Back with Banks blocking Shotzi’s kick to the ribs but Charlotte gets in a cheap shot to take over. A backbreaker gets two on Banks and it’s Shotzi tagging herself back in. The running crotch attack on the ropes misses though and it’s back to Storm to atomic drop Shotzi. Everything breaks down and it’s Charlotte knocking Storm and Banks out to the floor.

We take another break and come back with Storm kicking Charlotte away and bringing Banks back in to clean house. Banks hits a spinning crossbody for two on Charlotte, followed by a rollup for the same. The Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog plants Charlotte and Storm comes in off a blind tag. A Downward Spiral is broken up and Charlotte sends her face first into the buckle in the corner. Charlotte loads up the moonsault but only hits knees, allowing Storm to cradle her for the pin at 18:57.

Rating: B-. This was your long form wrestling match and that’s something a show can use. The problem here is that it’s hard to buy into Storm as a threat to Charlotte after how the feud has gone so far. Yes Storm got a pin here, but is there any reason to believe she’s a threat to Charlotte? Storm has been treated as beneath Charlotte throughout the feud and that is likely to be the case in the title match too.

King Woods is on his throne while a variety of wrestlers sing his praises. The Usos come in to mock New Day but they promise to take the Tag Team Titles. Threats are exchanged.

Natalya isn’t worried about Naomi or Xia Li. Yeah Xia Li is a protector but she is going to need some protection.

Raw Rebound.

Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/SShanky

Of note: the Raiders had their entrance, then we had a break, then we had Natalya’s promo and the Raw Rebound, then we had another break. How is that the best option? Anyway, we’re joined in progress with Mahal kneeing Erik in the face and bringing in Shanky to hammer away in the corner.

A big chop staggers Erik and it’s back to Mahal to stomp him down again. Erik fights out of a chinlock though and rolls over for the tag to Ivar to take over. Mahal gets knocked down and it’s back to Erik, who slams Ivar onto him for two. Everything breaks down and Ivar is driven into Shanky in the corner. Mahal is taken down and Ivar hits a top rope splash for the pin on Shanky at 4:58.

Rating: C-. I approve of the Vikings getting a win, but I don’t have much of a reason to believe they’re going to become a thing going forward. They have won before and gone nowhere, though they could be an interesting st of challengers for the Usos. I doubt we get there, but there is something nice about seeing Mahal and Shanky get beaten up.

We look back at Drew McIntyre driving his sword into Adam Pearce’s desk, which was then stolen by Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss.

Paul Heyman is waiting in the parking lot when a big SUV comes in. It’s Brock Lesnar though, who has Heyman rather nervous. Maybe Heyman was expecting Roman Reigns?

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin being rather pleased about the desk (still including sword). Moss hangs his hat on the sword and has some jokes about how McIntyre doesn’t have his sword anymore. The fans chant for CM PUNK but Corbin has a better idea: Moss can pull the sword out and keep it.

There are three problems though: Moss can’t pull it out, Corbin can’t pull it out, and the two of them can’t pull it out. Instead here is Drew McIntyre himself to cut things off (not a moment too soon) and ask if the two of them are having some performance issues. The fight is on with McIntyre clearing the ring and pulling the sword out with no problem. This segment was terrible and I usually love Moss’ terrible jokes.

Sami Zayn comes in to see Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville. He loves the idea of giving around the holiday season, but goes into a rant about everything he has had taken from him. The bosses have an idea though: Sami can be in a 12 man gauntlet match next week and the winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot. Zayn doesn’t seem thrilled.

Cesaro vs. Ridge Holland

Sheamus is here with Holland, who hits Cesaro in the ribs with his club before the bell. We take a break and come back with Cesaro’s ribs taped up, so Holland drives him ribs first into the corner. A backbreaker makes it even worse and we hit the abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs. Cesaro fights out and hits a belly to back, setting up a clothesline to the floor. Cesaro throws him back in but Sheamus offers a distraction, allowing Holland to hit Northern Grit for the pin at 2:59.

Drew McIntyre is hunting for Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin.

Here is Naomi for a chat. Naomi reads off her Christmas list: face Sonya Deville one on one at Day One. Actually Naomi wants to face Sonya right now, so cue Deville to say she isn’t fighting while she is wearing the suit. Instead, she has an opponent for Naomi right now: Shayna Baszler. That’s cool with Naomi, but she wants Sonya in the ring now instead. Sonya gets in but here is Baszler to take out Naomi’s leg. Ring the bell.

Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler

Sonya goes for a leglock but gets cradled for the pin at 29 seconds.

Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss are hiding, but get interviewed anyway. They don’t like the lights being turned on, but they’ll be laughing all the way to new year’s, when McIntyre faces Moss. That doesn’t seem to be cool with Moss, though he smiles anyway.

Usos vs. New Day

Non-title, because the title match is at Day One. Kofi grabs the SOS for an early two on Jey but it’s off to Jimmy to unload in the corner. The chinlock goes on as McAfee gives Hulk Hogan a shoutout. Kofi fights up and hits a superkick but Jey breaks up the tag attempt. We take a break and come back with Woods coming in off the hot tag for the clothesline comeback.

There’s a big dive to the floor to take Jey down, setting up a guillotine legdrop on Jimmy. Jey sends Woods into the barricade though, leaving Kofi to get superkicked for two. Back in and Woods breaks up Jey’s Superfly Splash, allowing Kofi to hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin on Jimmy at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Naturally an Usos vs. New Day match was good, but are you really surprised by the dumb logic here? To make the match interesting, we see the match in advance? Usos vs. New Day is one of those rivalries that will never end and this was just another chapter, but egads this kind of thing makes my head hurt. Just do ANYTHING else but this kind of double match deal.

Roman Reigns arrives and wants to go to his arena.

Here is Roman Reigns, with Paul Heyman still holding the belt and the loser Usos here too. After the required acknowledgment, Reigns says he doesn’t like it when his cousins lose. They can get through anything though because they’re blood. Heyman isn’t blood though, and he should know that Reigns can’t have people disrespecting him. If they disrespect him, they disrespect Reigns’ family.

Can he trust the wise man? Heyman seemed a little shady last week, so Reigns needs to know: did Heyman know Lesnar was going to be at Summerslam? Or at Madison Square Garden? Or that Lesnar’s suspension was going to be lifted? Reigns gets to the point: is Heyman a special counsel or is he an advocate? Heyman can’t answer, but Reigns wants Heyman to acknowledge him with the truth. Why is he protecting Lesnar?

Heyman says he isn’t protecting Lesnar from Reigns, but rather protecting Reigns from Lesnar. That’s not good with Reigns, but he hugs Heyman and says he loves him. Reigns thanks him for forty years of service (Heyman: “I love you my tribal chief.”)….and then fires him. The Superman Punch lays Heyman out and the Conchairto is loaded up.

Cue Lesnar, who takes out the Usos without much trouble (including shrugging off a superkick). Lesnar charges in and, despite Reigns hitting him with a chair over and over, lays Reigns out with a pair of F5’s to end the show. So there’s your big twist in the story and it is something that needed to happen after so many months of will Heyman/won’t Heyman.

Overall Rating: C. There was some pretty good wrestling here, but the big angle at the end is what matters the most. They moved things forward in a huge way at the end and that is one of the best things that they could have done. I’m curious about where this goes, but we could be in for some interesting twists. There were more than a few problems on this show though, with that Moss/Corbin nonsense dragging it down just enough to put the whole thing in the middle.

Results
Toni Storm/Sasha Banks b. Charlotte/Shotzi – Rollup to Charlotte
Viking Raiders b. Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Top rope splash to Shanky
Ridge Holland b. Cesaro – Northern Grit
Naomi b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
New Day b. Usos – Trouble in Paradise to Jimmy

 

 

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Smackdown – July 13, 2007: Extra Good Wrestling

Smackdown
Date: July 13, 2007
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 2,271
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The Great American Bash is in less than two weeks and we have a somewhat intriguing main event of Kane vs. Edge for the World Title. At the same time though, we also have Batista vs. Great Khali, which might not be the best idea in the world. They have some time to set things up though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Edge is on the phone and seems paranoid that Kane is behind him. This could be due to Kane popping up in a window over Edge’s shoulder.

Opening sequence.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Masters

MVP is on commentary. They take their time to start, with Hardy grabbing a headlock. A hard shoulder drops Matt and an elbow to the face does it again. Masters drives him into the corner as MVP talks about how he is absolutely the greatest US Champion of all time. The Masterlock is teased and we take a break.

Back with Matt missing the middle rope legdrop as MVP says he isn’t scared of Hardy at the Bash. Hardy gets in some right hands but Masters sends him back into the corner to cut that off in a hurry. Masters bends Hardy’s back over the knee, setting up a hard clothesline out of the corner for two. The neck crank goes on as MVP talks about everything he has accomplished in WWE so far. Matt fights back up and hits the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck, plus the Side Effect for two. Masters gets up and walks right into the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. This was another longer form Matt match and now they are using the winning streak to set him up for a title match. That’s how this thing can work very well and it’s making me want to see what happens when he faces MVP. Good enough stuff here, which is all the more impressive with someone as simple as Masters.

Post match Matt and MVP have a staredown but Masters grabs the Masterlock on Hardy. With Matt done, MVP hits the Playmaker for good measure.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Finlay

Finlay powers him around to start but has to avoid a spinning kick to the face. With that not working for Yang, Finlay grabs a front facelock. Yang fights up and manages to dropkick Finlay outside, which has JBL stunned. Finlay pulls Yang down into the ring skirt to administer the beating though, which has JBL back to normal.

Back in and Finlay starts cranking on the arm before blasting Yang with a clothesline. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to keep Yang in trouble but Yang manages some shots to the face. Back up and Yang hits the running spinwheel kick in the corner, followed by a high crossbody for two. Finlay backdrops him so hard that Yang lands on his face, setting up the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this one a good bit better than I would have expected and that’s a nice surprise. Finlay beat him up but Yang scored a few shots here and there to make it interesting. It’s always nice to see a random pairing like this work out and they had a rather fun TV match.

Post match Hornswoggle is let out from underneath the ring, gets in a bite on Yang, and then hides again.

Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble vs. Major Brothers

Noble and Brian start things off with Noble elbowing his way out of a hammerlock. An armdrag into an armbar works a bit better and it’s off to Brett for an armbar of his own. Noble kicks him into the corner though and it’s off to Chavo for a chinlock. Noble grabs a camel clutch and even holds Brett away from a hot tag attempt, allowing Chavo to come back in.

That doesn’t last long either as Brett gets up and knocks Chavo away, setting up the hot tag to Brian. Everything breaks down and Noble is suplexed to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught with a missile dropkick for the fast pin (because you have to pin the Cruiserweight Champion here).

Rating: C+. Champ getting pinned aside, this was another solid, back and forth match between talented wrestlers. You can always use something like that on any show and it is great to see the Major Brothers already getting some success. They feel like an old school team with the name and matching gear. Go with more like that, especially if they work well like this.

Vickie Guerrero runs into Runjin Singh, who has some issues with Great Khali’s contract signing with Batista tonight. He puts his arm around her shoulders but Vickie doesn’t care, so the contract signing/match are still on. Khali shows up to yell at Vickie and then beats up a backstage worker.

Rey Mysterio is coming back.

Kane invades the inside of Edge’s TV, making me think of the time Lucy got inside the Ricardos’ TV on I Love Lucy.

Here is Teddy Long to run the contract signing between Batista and Great Khali. Batista wastes no time in signing the contract, but Runjin Singh warns him that he will see a real animal at the Great American Bash. Khali isn’t scared and shouts a lot before signing. Batista offers a handshake but then slaps Khali in the face, which is enough to send Khali outside. The steps are thrown in but Batista throws them right back, along with everything else.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Luke Hawx

Palumbo grabs a headlock takeover to start and shrugs off a spinwheel kick for a bonus. Hawx gets up a boot in the corner but Palumbo tosses him down with a suplex. A running big boot and Full Throttle give Palumbo the pin. It’s amazing what happens when you have someone with a good look and don’t give them a comedy gimmick.

Jesse and Festus like the Divas because Festus is a ladies man.

Kane scared Edge while he’s brushing his teeth.

Deuce N Domino don’t like Eugene looking at their car but they agree to drive him to the ring if he’ll take Deuce’s match.

Eugene vs. Mark Henry

Henry glares at Deuce N Domino and Cherry before running over Eugene in the corner. Forearms to the back and shots to the knees set up the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry grabs the bearhug for the easy win.

Michelle McCool rollerblades.

We look back at Torrie Wilson and Victoria brawling last week.

Teddy Long and Kristal are happy with the wedding plans. Vickie Guerrero comes in and is offered the position as maid of honor. Planning mode activates.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Victoria takes her into the corner to start and gets in a hard slap to the face. Torrie’s hair pulling doesn’t work so Victoria hits a knee to the ribs. She yells about Torrie not being so pretty and kicks her down for two more. There’s the choking on the ropes but Torrie fights up with forearms. A swinging neckbreaker gives Torrie two and they fight outside, with Torrie hitting a Thesz press off the apron. The beating continues and Torrie wins via countout.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? This is the same kind of match that we have seen for years and it’s one of the most common stories you would see involving Torrie. I’ve lost count of the amount of wrestlers to insult her looks but it’s not like she has much of a character to talk about otherwise.

Edge has a Mardi Gras party of characters ready for a celebration.

Here is the full on Mardi Gras float, complete with Edge right in the middle. Edge goes a bit nuts with the celebrating before saying that this is his kind of town. The celebration you’re about to see will pale in comparison to what you see at the Great American Bash after he retains the title. The celebration is on again until one of the people in costumes stares at him. Edge spears him, but one of the other people takes their mask off to reveal Kane. The beatdown is on in a hurry until some of the other try to help Edge. Kane beats them up instead and stares Edge down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling here was better than expected for the most part and that takes away from some of the goofy stuff involving Kane and Edge. You kind of have to expect that kind of thing in a Kane story and it could have been a lot worse. Other than that, it was a show that didn’t have much going on but offered enough good wrestling to make it entertaining. That isn’t something you get to see very often in WWE so itwas nice for a change.

 

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Smackdown – December 10, 2021: A Scary Moose Story

Smackdown
Date: December 10, 2021
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re on the way to Day One and that means some more of the show needs to be put together. The main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title is now set, but we are missing a Jeff Hardy, who was released earlier this week. That could shake things up a bit so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Blackjack Lanza.

Here is Sami Zayn, in a wheelchair/leg cast/neck brace, with two male nurses pushing him to the ring. After a video on last week’s big beatdown at the hands of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar, Sami says he is the toughest man in WWE. Sami talks about how this isn’t necessarily a conspiracy, but he was betrayed last week….and now he has to sue. He promises to sue everyone involved with last week but here is Paul Heyman to interrupt. Heyman: “You’re doing my people’s shtick. My people own entertainment in Hollywood.”

Sami tells him to get out of his camera shot but Heyman shushes him. Heyman keeps going with his usual speech but Sami stands up because he knows Reigns isn’t here tonight. Violence is threatened against Heyman…..and here is Brock Lesnar, meaning it’s time to panic. Lesnar grabs a chair and Heyman is already looking a little nervous. Lesnar sits down in the chair and looks at Zayn, who thinks this is a bit far.

They got off on the wrong foot, with Zayn saying his pain is a ten. Lesnar says he did Sami a favor last week because he was never going to beat Roman Reigns one on one. All he was doing was hurting Zayn so that Reigns’ win wouldn’t really count! Lesnar confirms that Sami is from Montreal and we get a bit of French, which is Lesnar trying to lighten the mood.

Lesnar invites him to Saskatchewan to go hunting or fishing, but Zayn says he’s vegan. That brings Lesnar to his feet and he wheels Zayn towards the ropes. Heyman: “WHAT THE H*** AM I LOOKING AT HERE???” Heyman thinks he spent too much time at the dispensary and the edibles are kicking in (McAfee: “PREACH!”).

Three years ago, this would have been a trip to Suplex City, but instead he’s watching the once and likely future Universal Champion….who beats up the nurses as Heyman bails. Heyman looks pleased as Lesnar throws the wheelchair out of the ring and gives Zayn an F5 (McAfee: “WE NEED ANOTHER NECK BRACE!”). This was a long opening segment to bring the Beast back out, but it makes Lesnar’s laid back attitude a bit more odd as he just shrugged it off and mauled Zayn again.

Post break, Lesnar is asked what that was about. He says to ask his advocate, Paul Heyman.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs vs. Los Lotharios

Boogs Pounces Humberto to start but a cheap shot from Angel….doesn’t do much as Boogs brings him inside as well. There’s a gorilla press toss to send Angel outside but the distraction lets Humberto get in some shots from behind. That doesn’t last long either as Nakamura comes in and hits Kinshasa for the pin at 1:25.

A bunch of wrestlers are gathered around for the unveiling of King Woods’ new crown. Said crown is rather large, but Woods is ready to beat up RKBro and the Usos tonight.

We look back at Drew McIntyre being annoyed that he wasn’t in the #1 contenders battle royal.

Last week, Sonya Deville told Drew McIntyre that Adam Pearce made the list.

This week, Adam Pearce tells Drew McIntyre that Sonya Deville made the list, on orders from a higher authority. Said higher authority also says Drew can’t bring his sword to the ring, so Drew puts the sword into the desk.

Sasha Banks comes up to Toni Storm in the back and tells Storm she has this tonight against Charlotte. Banks praises Storm’s training around the world and tells her not to lose her cool until Charlotte loses hers. Then it’s Toni Time. This was one of those segments depicting two women talking in ways that no humans would never actually talk.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre slugs away to start and the brawl is on, with an exchange of hard forearms to the chest. They head outside with McIntyre snapping off an overhead belly to belly as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Irish Curse for two but McIntyre is back up in a hurry. The Claymore is cut off by a running knee for two and they slow down a bit. They trade headbutts until McIntyre blasts him with the Claymore for the pin at 7:34.

Rating: C+. There is something to be said about having two big power guys hit each other in the face really hard. That’s what we got here, and it’s certainly better than watching McIntyre do the goofy stuff with Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss. This feud might have been more than a few times now, but it still works well in a spot like this one.

In the back, we see Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin stealing Adam Pearce’s desk, still containing the sword.

Video tribute to Blackjack Lanza.

Paul Heyman is leaving when Kayla Braxton interrupts him. Heyman asks her to stop doing that, so Braxton asks about Lesnar calling Heyman his advocate. Heyman asks her to stop doing that too, so Braxton brings up what Roman Reigns will think about the comments. Reality sets in for Heyman in a hurry, as he knows he screwed up.

We recap Naomi vs. Sonya Deville, as Sonya is the latest evil boss.

Sonya Deville vs. Naomi

Naomi tells Sonya to get out here, so here is Sonya, albeit with a few announcements. Natalya is the guest ring announcer and Shayna Baszler is the guest timekeeper. Naomi bails outside to go after both of them to start so Sonya bails before the opening bell. All three get on the apron, so here’s the debuting Xia Li to even things up a bit (complete with blue electric lights coming off of her during the entrance). Naomi and Xia clear the ring but Sonya is pulled out before Naomi can hit the split legged moonsault. No match.

Riddle wants Randy Orton to meet his friends….the cast of Jackass Forever. Riddle is a big fan but Orton has nothing to say.

Charlotte vs. Toni Storm

Non-title but a Champions Contender match. Charlotte punches her down to start so Toni is right back with a basement dropkick. There’s the running hip attack in the corner and a crossbody gives Storm two. Not to be outdone, Charlotte kicks her in the face and Storm is down for a bit. Charlotte goes up for the double moonsault but a bit of mistiming leaves Charlotte trying to cover Storm when she is on her face. The Figure Eight is countered into a small package to give Storm two, followed by a German suplex for the same. Charlotte posts her and takes it to the apron, where Storm is stomped against the post for the DQ at 3:20.

Rating: C-. So yeah, after getting her comeuppance in the form of a pie in the face, Charlotte is right back by beating Storm so much that the referee had to call the match. But hey, at least Storm gets another match where she is probably going to get this close to winning before coming short again. That way we can get back to the important stuff, like Charlotte vs. Banks. Such is WWE, and I can’t even get annoyed anymore.

Post match, Charlotte lays her out AGAIN.

Brock Lesnar comes in to see Adam Pearce, who looks terrified. Lesnar thanks him for the suspension, because he got to score a giant moose when he was out hunting. Lesnar pulls out his flip phone to show Pearce said moose but can’t get it to work. Instead he talks about hanging the moose up on the wall in his cabin and wanted a way to remember things. That’s why he named the moose Pearce.

Usos vs. New Day vs. RKBro

Non-title. New Day double teams Riddle to start and Woods drops a fist for two as the Usos are cool with hanging out on the apron. The Usos come in to clear the ring in a hurry though and we take a break. Back with Woods forearming Jey down to start, allowing Kofi to come in with a high crossbody for two. Riddle tags himself in for the release gutwrench suplex for his own two on Jey.

Jimmy makes a blind tag though and now it’s Riddle getting double teamed. Orton breaks that up in a hurry but Jey cuts Riddle off in a hurry. The chinlock goes on but Jey spends too much time posing, allowing Riddle to avoid a corner splash. The tag is loaded up….but Jimmy pulls Orton off the apron. New Day has to make a save of their own and we take a break.

Back with Kofi cutting off a tag attempt so Riddle stays in trouble. Woods grabs a suplex for two and the chinlock goes on again. The fans want Orton but get Woods elbowing Riddle in the back of the head instead. Riddle strikes away at New Day and that’s enough for the hot tag to Orton. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the hanging DDT to Jey. The RKO is broken up but Jey can’t hit the Superfly Splash. Woods tags himself in as Orton hits the RKO on Jimmy. Jey superkicks Orton but gets superkicked by Woods, setting up Daybreak for the pin at 18:54.

Rating: B-. That was the least surprising ending I can remember in a very long time, as it would be the most WWE ending possible. Sure New Day doesn’t have a title of their own, but they get to be the best team in the world. That’s one of the many reasons why WWE is in the state that it is in today, and the fact that you could guess the ending as soon as the match was announced makes it even worse.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show this week, though there were more than a few moments where I rolled my eyes at some of the dumber things they were doing (New Day winning, Charlotte leaving Storm laying). Lesnar smashing Zayn was good and Heyman was great as always though and Xia Li’s debut worked. There were enough positives this week, but there were also enough moments that left me skeptical about the future, as tends to be the case in WWE.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs b. Los Lotharios – Kinshasa to Humberto
Drew McIntyre b. Sheamus – Claymore
Toni Storm b. Charlotte via DQ when Charlotte would not stop attacking Storm in the ropes
New Day b. Usos and RKBro – Daybreak to Jey

 

 

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Smackdown July 6, 2007: The New Class

Smackdown
Date: July 6, 2007
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to the Great American Bash and that could go in a few different directions after last week. Batista beat Edge but isn’t allowed to challenge for the title. Therefore we are going to need a new challenger, but I’m not sure who that is going to be. Maybe we can have a wacky competition to crown a new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

MVP vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and before the match, MVP says that the title means he is better than anyone here but Matt’s music cuts him off. They lock up to start with MVP grabbing a headlock to take over. Matt gets sent into the corner and MVP is already looking cocky. A slam drops Matt again and MVP gives him the Ballin pose. Matt flips out of a test of strength and but MVP spins over into a backslide for two.

This time it’s Matt working on a headlock of his own, setting up a bulldog out of the corner. Back up and MVP kicks away at the leg before pulling up the pant leg to get at the brace. We take a break and come back with MVP kicking him in the back and grabbing an armbar. Matt fights out of that in a hurry and hits the middle rope elbow to the back for two more. MVP catches him on the apron though and knocks him into the barricade for the big crash to take over.

We hit the seated abdominal stretch on Matt on the mat, followed by a waistlock to mix it up a bit. Matt gets up again and hits back to back Side Effects for two each but catches him on top with a superplex for two of his own. A fireman’s carry drop bangs up Matt’s ribs even worse and MVP kicks him in the head for another near fall. MVP’s running boot to the chest in the corner gets two but Matt is right back with a Twist of Fate for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This got some time and Matt continues to be the underrated gem of the roster as he is having one long and pretty good match after another. I liked this one well enough, though some of the ribs work could have been cut out in the middle. I’m not wild on the champ losing twice in a row though, and hopefully that isn’t the start of a trend. It probably is, but hopefully not.

Michelle McCool goes shopping.

Kristal and Teddy Long are discussing wedding plans when Edge comes in. He wants to know what he’s doing tonight so Long says go have the Cutting Edge. Long will even send in the biggest guest the show has ever had.

Chris Masters vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Masters sends him into the corner to start and runs him over without much trouble. A clothesline knocks him silly as JBL says this is what happens when cruiserweights face heavyweights. Yang fights up and kicks away, including a dropkick, but a high crossbody is pulled out of the air. The Masterlock finishes in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali, so Masters bails in a hurry. Yang is picked up and chokeslammed without much effort. Through the translator, Khali issues an open challenge for the Great American Bash, promising to destroy more people until someone accepts.

Jesse and Festus are coming to Smackdown. Apparently Festus is a navigational wizard.

Major Brothers vs. Jeremy Young/Mike Fox

Brian cranks on Fox’s arm to start and it’s off to Brett to work on an armbar. A double hiptoss gets two with Young making the save but Brett knocks him off the apron. That leaves Fox to get caught in a Russian legsweep/STO combination for a fast pin. The Majors didn’t look bad here.

Rey Mysterio is coming back.

Finlay vs. Ric Flair

Somehow this is their first singles match ever. They start slowly as we hear about their various bar activities. A hard shoulder puts Flair into the corner but he takes Finlay down by the leg. Back up and Finlay knocks him into the corner before grabbing the nerve hold. Flair fights up and goes with a thumb to the eye, only to get clotheslined back down for two. Now it’s Finlay starting in on the leg, including a half crab into the Celtic Knot.

Flair makes the rope so Finlay hits a Vader Bomb onto the leg to stay on the target. A cannonball down onto the leg is cut off though and Finlay crashes outside. Back in and Flair grabs the Figure Four, sending Finlay to the ropes this time. A belly to back suplex drops Finlay again but here is Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to hit Flair in the knee with the Shillelagh. The Celtic Knot finishes Flair in a hurry.

Rating: C+. These are the kind of guys who could have a good match with each other just due to pure talent so I’m not at all surprised that this worked out. The ending was an easy way for Finlay to cheat and win so Flair gets to save a bit of face. Not exactly a great match, but it was nice to see for the sake of a curiosity.

Victoria interrupts Torrie Wilson’s Summerslam photo shoot and says Torrie isn’t taking over Smackdown like she did on Raw. Torrie calls her crazy and the fight is on.

Great Khali beats up a stagehand, who had been accused of wanting to face him at Great American Bash.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

This is Palumbo’s return after several years away and he has become a biker in his absence. Palumbo sends him into the corner to start but Dykstra is back with a dropkick. Dykstra sends him arm first into the post and a DDT on the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Palumbo fights up and hits a slam spun into a Rock Bottom (Full Throttle) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here, but what were you expecting from these two? Palumbo as a biker is about as lower card of a gimmick as you can get but he could be fine to fill in some time for a few weeks. Dykstra continues to be someone who is fine as a heel that you want to see get punched in the face and he filled in that role well enough this time too.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry is ready to hurt the new wrestlers around here.

Deuce vs. Eugene

What an odd match, though it might have something to do with Domino having a broken nose. Eugene is distracted by Cherry’s skates so Deuce sends him into the corner to start. Deuce stops for a kiss from Cherry so Eugene Hulks Up…and here is Great Khali to beat both guys up.

Post no contest (which should have been a DQ), Khali issues the open challenge again and here is Batista to accept. The staredown is on with Khali leaving.

Rey Mysterio is still coming back. Nothing has changed in the last hour.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge but he doesn’t know the guest. He would love to tell us about the guest but he can’t do that tonight. Edge is ready to ask the tough questions so here is…..Kane (giving us a great face from Edge, who seems to gulp a bit). Edge: “Like the kids say today, it’s all good.” Edge talks about how Kane debuted in WWE ten years ago this October and brings up Kane introducing the Inferno match.

We hear about See No Evil, but that doesn’t Edge talks about his own accomplishments, which are a bit better than Kane’s. Edge goes to leave but Kane grabs him by the throat, saying he doesn’t like Edge very much. That’s enough for Edge, who says he’ll never be in the ring with Kane again. Cue Teddy Long to say not so fast, because Edge is defending the World Title against Kane at the Great American Bash. It might not be the biggest match in the world, but Kane is as good as anyone else available at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a nice show with some good action and the main event set for the pay per view. They still need some bigger names around here and hopefully the returning Mysterio can help in that area. The stars they have are good enough at the moment, but they don’t have much of a bench and that could become a problem in a hurry. For now though, they had a pretty good show, even with Deuce vs. Eugene getting the final match slot.

 

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Smackdown – December 3, 2021: Why Should He Be Afraid?

Smackdown
Date: December 3, 2021
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

In something you probably don’t remember hearing around here, it’s the Brock Lesnar Show as he is back after his suspension last month. Odds are this is going to set something up for either Day 1 or the Rumble and that opens up a few questions. I’m curious to see where this is going so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Sami Zayn becoming #1 contender last week but Brock Lesnar’s return was announced for the show immediately thereafter.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going. Lesnar says he is here for the Universal Title but cue Sami Zayn to interrupt. Sami talks about how he’s a fan of Lesnar and is cut off almost immediately. Lesnar: “I’m sorry, you’re a fan?” Lesnar talks about living in Saskatchewan, where he hunts, kills and eats things. Now why hasn’t he ripped Sami’s head off yet? Sami explains the battle royal win….and Lesnar starts laughing.

Sami says it might be funny and Lesnar wants to see the title match tonight. Lesnar: “Sami right? Tonight! Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns!” Sami says he didn’t want to do it in Texas and he has a bad hip but Brock doesn’t want to hear this. Brock backs the babbling Sami up against the ropes and twists his arm until Sami agrees to the match. Lesnar will be there too! Crazy scary Lesnar who isn’t worried about anyone is great.

Post break, Sami is with Sonya Deville and tries to talk his way out of the Roman Reigns match. Brock comes up and Sami changes his tune, with Sonya making the match. Lesnar even gets to face the winner at Day 1!

Video on Shayna Baszler, including the stomp to mess up Nia Jax’s arm. After the video, McAfee refers to this as the Future Endeavors Kick.

Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler

Baszler is sent outside to start, where she counters a baseball slide into an ankle lock. Banks breaks that up and hits the Meteora off the apron for two as we take a break. Back with Baszler hitting a running knee in the corner, setting up a gutwrench suplex for two. Banks fights up and hits a springboard tornado DDT for two of her own. Baszler pulls her down into the Kirifuda Clutch but Banks flips out and grabs the Bank Statement. That’s broken up as well so Baszler hits a running knee, only to get caught in a hurricanrana for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. You knew it was happening as soon as the Baszler video aired. I’m not sure what the point of this one was other than getting Sasha a win, though there is no reason to get annoyed at WWE for having Baszler lose again. Baszler has long since reached the point of “it’s not going to happen” so this is about all you could have expected.

Adam Pearce calls Sonya Deville and says he isn’t going to show up because it would be better if he just remembers the Alamo. Deville: “Oh come on.” Drew McIntyre comes in and doesn’t like that it was Adam Pearce’s decision for him to not be in the battle royal last week.

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin in shorts to show off his rather tattooed legs. Corbin and Madcap Moss talk about last week’s battle royal, including Moss eliminating a bunch of people until Corbin tossed him out as well. Jeff Hardy did some stupid things and Drew McIntyre didn’t even get in the match. Cue McIntyre, with Angela the sword, allowing Hardy to jump Corbin from behind. Hardy and McIntyre steal their hats.

Xia Li debuts next week so we get another comic book video. This one talks about her walking through a quiet street until she has to beat up some muggers.

Viking Raiders vs. Los Lotharios

Erik plants Angel in a hurry and them knocks Humberto off the apron. Ivar gets knocked off the apron though and it’s a Muta Lock to Erick….and we pause for a good while until Rick Boogs can show up on the announcers’ table. This time though, Humberto is fine enough to roll Erik up for the pin at 1:41 anyway. Ok points for a surprise twist.

Post match the Vikings are mad at Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura but the power of rock calms things down.

We look at Toni Storm getting pied into fear by Charlotte last week.

Storm says she wants a title shot and doesn’t care how much Charlotte embarrasses her. All she wants is the title.

Jey Uso vs. King Woods

Before the match, the Usos call out Sami Zayn and Brock Lesnar for wanting to face Roman Reigns at Day 1. Woods cuts them off and brings out the returning Kofi Kingston to have his back. Jey hammers him in the corner to start but misses a running hip attack. Back up and Woods kicks him in the face but Jimmy interferes for the DQ at 2:02.

Post match Kofi helps Woods clear the ring.

Roman Reigns isn’t happy with everything happening tonight without his knowledge. Paul Heyman insists he didn’t know any of this would be happening, but Reigns promises to smash Sami Zayn and Brock Lesnar.

The New Day, with Aliyah for a bit for her latest random cameo, is ready to win the Tag Team Titles from the Usos at Day 1.

Here is Charlotte to respond to Toni Storm’s challenges. The point is that #1 doesn’t acknowledge #2, but she’ll get to the point: no. Charlotte leaves and Storm is waiting on her with a pie.

Video on Ricochet.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Sheamus sends him straight to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest and an early near fall. The double fish hook stretches Cesaro’s face but he fights up and knocks Sheamus over the barricade. Back in and Sheamus drives some knees to the head while shouting about how much better Ridge Holland is than Cesaro. That starts a comeback….and it’s cut off by the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 3:47.

Rating: C. Can they please just release Cesaro already? They aren’t going to push him, they aren’t going to give him anything to do and they don’t see much in him. If they’re that sure he isn’t a star, why keep him on the payroll? I know the answer to most of these questions is AEW, but egads it’s frustrating to watch something like this after his token pay per view main event earlier this year.

Naomi challenges Sonya Deville again and Sonya accepts. The catch is Naomi can’t touch her until they’re in the ring, so Sonya hits her in the face and doesn’t give her a date for the match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is challenging but first he needs to rant about no one having his back for years. Cue Brock Lesnar so Sami keeps talking about how he’s going to win the title. Brock snaps off the German suplexes into the F5 and Sami is left laying. Another F5 makes it even worse and Lesnar puts Sami in the corner, despite him being out on his feet. Lesnar leaves and post break, Reigns comes out for the match. The Usos are here with Reigns and pull Sami back up so the bell can ring. Spear and guillotine retain the title at 16 seconds to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t exactly feeling this one as it was much more about setting things up for Day 1 rather than anything of note here. It wasn’t terrible or even that bad, but it’s a show where you would have been better off reading a recap than watching the show. At least they accomplished something, but don’t waste your time with anything on this show, save for maybe Lesnar having fun getting a fat check.

Results
Sasha Banks b. Shayna Baszler – Hurricanrana
Los Lotharios b. Viking Raiders – Rollup to Erik
King Woods b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn – Guillotine

 

 

 

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Smackdown – June 29, 2007 (2021 Redo): The House Show Special

Smackdown
Date: June 29, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re officially back on track around here as the entire weekend situation came and went without having much of an impact on Smackdown. Therefore, it is time to get going on the way to Great American Bash and Edge is going to need a new challenger. I’m not sure who that could be at the moment, but maybe they can surprise us. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

We open with the same Vince McMahon video from ECW, saying there will be no further mentions of Chris Benoit on this show.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

Commentary explains that Vickie Guerrero is in charge tonight and has made a bunch of interpromotional matches (which apparently she can just do). Carlito drives him into the corner to start but gets chopped back. A backdrop puts Flair down for two and Carlito hits a weird running dropkick in the corner (as he got a running start, paused, and then hit the dropkick).

Another, more traditional dropkick gets two on Flair and Carlito pounds him back into the corner. We hit the armbar on the mat with Carlito throwing in some shots to the ribs for a bonus. Carlito switches to a bodyscissors but Flair gets to his feet and hits him in the head to escape. Flair elbows, WOO’s, backdrops, struts, and grabs the Figure Four. That’s broken up so Flair drops some elbows on the knee and puts it back on for the win.

Rating: C-. This is a feud that has been kind of beaten into the ground but it was a fine enough way to burn through the first ten minutes of the show. Flair might not be what he once was but he is certainly capable of having an eight minute match against someone as competent as Carlito. One other thing here: I would like to see more wrestlers take some lessons from Flair after he wins a match. He always looks like he accomplished something and there’s something nice about it.

Matt Hardy vs. Lance Cade

No seconds here for a change. Matt grabs a headlock to start and then elbows Cade down. Back up and a dropkick puts Hardy down as well, sending Cade into a rather enthusiastic celebration. They trade hammerlocks until Hardy sends him out to the floor for a breather. Back in and the threat of a Twist of Fate sends Cade bailing to the apron (Cole: “What the h*** was that?” It was pretty obvious Cole.).

Cade comes back in and hits a sitout spinebuster, followed by a heck of a back elbow to the jaw for two. An abdominal stretch keeps Hardy in trouble until he slips out and scores with an enziguri. Matt’s bulldog gets two but Cade blasts him with a clothesline. Cade puts him on the top but Matt spins around him and grabs the Twist of Fate for the fast pin.

Rating: C. The house show nature feel of this show is continuing and that’s not a bad thing. Hardy is someone else who can have a good match with just about anyone. Cade has a lot of potential and that clothesline was a heck of a shot to Hardy. I don’t think this is going to be anything more than another one off match, and if nothing else, Cade and Murdoch need some fresh challengers.

Michelle McCool runs on the beach.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble

Chavo is defending. Noble takes Funaki into the corner to start but Chavo breaks it up and beats on Funaki instead. Funaki sends Chavo to the apron but he’s right back in with a sunset flip to Noble, which sends Funaki flying in a release German suplex. This time it’s Noble knocking Chavo outside and sleepering Funaki. Noble is sent outside and Funaki hits a huge dive off the top onto the other two. Back in and Noble loads up the tiger driver but gets sent outside. That leaves Chavo to run back in with the Gory Bomb to finish Funaki and retain.

Rating: C. This was the definition of a quick cruiserweight match with everyone getting in a few near falls but not hitting another gear. The match was good enough to get by, though they’re not exactly hiding how much of a low level house show feeling this whole night is having. It makes sense in this case though, and after Monday, it’s easy to feel a bit for Chavo.

Edge comes in to Vickie Guerrero’s office to find Teddy Long but is told he isn’t here tonight. He isn’t happy with having to face Batista after winning their match at Vengeance, but it’s non-title so everything is cool. Edge isn’t happy, but tonight he’s competing UNDER PROTEST.

Jesse, with Festus, is happy about coming to Smackdown. That look on Festus’ face is that of a happy man too. Festus looks….we’ll go with confused here.

Deuce N Domino vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Cole says to not adjust your set during Cryme Tyme’s entrance, because this isn’t Raw. What kind of adjustment did he think people were making? JTG starts with Domino but Shad comes in off a blind tag to clothesline Domino down. It’s such a clothesline that Domino’s nose is busted as JTG comes back in. Deuce kicks him down and hands it back to Domino for a cobra clutch. That’s broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Shad to clean house. Everything breaks down and JTG is low bridged to the floor, allowing Domino to roll Shad up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was short and I wonder if that nose injury had something to do with the time. They didn’t have much time to get anywhere but this match sounds a bit intriguing if it was allowed to get some more time. As usual, there aren’t enough teams for two divisions, but one big one could work out well.

Post break, Deuce N Domino are still in the ring for some reason when Cryme Tyme pops up on screen. They’re with Deuce N Domino’s car, which is on its way to the Brisco Brothers Chop Shop. We hear about how much the parts could be worth and they drive away.

Here is MVP to brag about how great he is, including being better than all of the San Antonio Spurs.

MVP vs. Kane

Non-title. MVP grabs an armbar to start and is tossed outside in a hurry. Back in and MVP bails right back to the floor, where he calls for a time out. This time he gets back in and takes out Kane’s knee to no avail so it’s back to the armbar. Cole thinks MVP’s target is the arm, as MVP hammers away on said arm. Kane is right back with some running clotheslines in the corner and the side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two and the chokeslam gives Kane the fast pin.

Rating: C-. These two have fought about a dozen times and it would have been nice to see another of those countouts or DQ’s to keep MVP from getting pinned. This wasn’t the most thrilling match with MVP working on the arm until Kane fought up and did his usual stuff for the win. If nothing else, we might be in for a future title match between the two of them so it could build somewhere.

Quick look at Edge beating Batista to retain the World Title at Vengeance.

Vengeance highlight video.

Eugene, now a superhero, is happy about being here when Great Khali interrupts. Violence is promised for later.

Mickie James is warming up when Victoria comes up. They’re fighting later and Mickie insists that she’s wilder and better than her. Victoria says she’s so wild that she’s going to kiss the next guy who walks through the door. Cue Howard Finkel (no) and Jim Duggan (no) so Victoria tells Mickie to do it. Big Dick Johnson almost comes through but has to tie his shoe. Instead Ron Simmons comes in, gets kissed, and says his catchphrase to Johnson.

Mickie James vs. Victoria

Victoria takes her over with a headlock to start but gets backslided for two. Back up and Mickie hits a running crossbody but gets crotched on top. That lets Victoria tie her in the Tree of Woe for some pulling from the floor before hurting her hand on a slap. The spinning side slam gets two and Mickie gets choked on the rope. Back up and Mickie grabs a hurricanrana out of the corner but the MickieDT is blocked. Victoria misses a moonsault though and Mickie rolls her up for the pin.

Rating: C. Another totally run of the mill match here as they keep things moving on the night. It’s another match between two talented people who can work well together and Mickie winning gives the fans a smile. Much like the tag division, it would make sense to merge the women’s division, but that isn’t happening anytime soon.

Eugene vs. Great Khali

Chop and chokeslam in about forty seconds.

Batista is ready to punish Edge.

Batista vs. Edge

Non-title and Edge bails into the corner to start, allowing him to yell at some fans. Edge kicks away at the knee to take Edge down but gets shoved hard out of the corner for his efforts. There’s a Stretch Muffler to put Edge’s leg in trouble for a change, setting up a half crab. Batista tries the Batista Bomb but has to block a low blow. Edge is sent outside in a heap and we take a break.

Back with Edge hitting a swinging neckbreaker from the ropes and sending Batista outside. Batista gets back inside but gets stomped back to the floor for his efforts. He gets back in again and Edge grabs a cravate to keep him in trouble. That’s broken up so Batista nails him with a spear to put both of them down. Edge’s spear is countered into a spinebuster, with Edge bailing straight to the floor. For some reason Batista goes up top, earning himself a dropkick out of the air. Edge loads up another spear but gets countered into the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two work well together, if nothing else out of familiarity, and it worked well for a main event. They had a main event style match with Edge trying everything he could but ultimately falling to the Batista Bomb. It isn’t going to be able to go anywhere because of the Vengeance stipulation but for a glorified house show main event, it worked.

Overall Rating: C. Now this felt like a show that was designed to be filler, which feels a bit strange after an ECW that had a pretty big story development. This was the polar opposite, as you could see this being a regular house show. The matches were all fine as they played it safe, which is fine in this situation. Things can get back to normal next week, but for a complete punt of a show, it could have been a lot worse.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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