IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 23, 2004
Location: Camp Speicher, Tikrit, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It worked the first time so let’s do it again. This is the second annual Tribute to the Troops and since this is in the earlier years, it means they’re actually going to put in a little more effort. The show is outside in Iraq, meaning it’s going to be a bit warm. We even have a big match announced this time around with Undertaker vs. Heidenreich. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince talks about how the wrestlers have volunteered to come back for the volunteer military because they want to say thank you. They’ve come over here to boost the military’s spirit but it’s been the opposite because the soldiers are that inspiring.

Back home all you hear are all the negatives from Iraq and all the progress they’ve made around here. When he gets back to America, he’ll be telling some of those negative media personalities where they can go. For now though, on with the show, including Lilian Garcia as the attractive Mrs. Claus style ring announcer. Vince: “TEN HUT! I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Lilian sings the National Anthem, which she knocks out of the park as always.

Video on the roster arriving.

Rene Dupree vs. Booker T.

Expect to see a lot of America vs. foreigner matches tonight. The announcers are all over Dupree with the anti-French jokes because if you disagree with anything the military does, you’re a horrible stupid person. Feeling out process to start as the announcers list off a bunch of military personnel who made this possible.

Booker hits some hiptosses and a clothesline to take over as the fans are very into the raise the roof pose. I mean, that’s a few years old but points for trying at least. Dupree avoids a charge in the corner and drops an elbow setting up the French Tickler (Tazz: “IN IRAQ???”). The chinlock goes on for a few seconds with Booker popping up and hitting the flapjack. A Spinarooni into the ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. These matches are going to be on a sliding scale here as there is no point to suggest that the wrestling is what matters. Having the American beat the foreigner is as old hat as you can get on a show like this and that’s perfectly fine. Booker is someone who can fire up a crowd so this was a good choice for the opener.

A solider talks about getting to go home to see her husband.

Wrestlers meet troops and think Iraq isn’t as bad as it seems. They were even under fire at one point and we see a piece of a mortar that hit them. That’s enough to make them honorary Steel Tigers and they get a coin.

Here’s Santa Claus, who seems to be looking a little hardcore legendish this year. It might not be Christmas yet but he’s making a special trip here. As luck would have it, he brings out some WWE Divas to help him. That would be Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda, who seem to be rather popular. Lilian joins them in the ring and they throw out presents to the crowd.

They include in some hugs as a bonus but Santa invites them back inside. He has a gift for all of them in the bag, which of course would be lingerie. Well actually Dawn gets a half empty bottle of Gatorade. Santa: “Santa developed quite a thirst and felt the need to quench it.” The catfight is on and Dawn is sent outside. Torrie thinks something is up and realizes that Santa is in fact Mick Foley. The voice, the hunched walk, the being 6’4 and BEING SANTA CLAUS didn’t give that away?

We see a soldier reenlisting.

A soldier misses her family.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

No Heyman here with Heidenreich and no hat/coat/slowness for Undertaker. The smoke does come up though, which is kind of a weird visual without everything else. Undertaker slugs away to start and takes over without too much trouble. Could it be because he’s facing Heidenreich? Old School into a reverse DDT gives Undertaker two and it’s already time for a breather. A slugout on the floor goes to Undertaker and there’s the apron legdrop.

Back in and Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered with a swinging Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich his own two. Heidenreich hammers away so Undertaker does the same, followed by the jumping clothesline for two more. Now Snake Eyes into the big boot connects and it’s a legdrop to make things even worse for Heidenreich. The soldiers want a Tombstone but settle for a broken up chokeslam so Heidenreich can bail to the floor and take the countout.

Rating: D. Good grief how is this feud continuing??? Does WWE really think that much of Heidenreich that they need to keep going with him here? His matches are terrible and his promos are far from anything special, but we get to see these two fight AGAIN because WWE can’t just let something go.

A soldier misses his newborn son. He gets to come home n Christmas Day though, which is a surprise to his wife.

Wrestlers talk about how awesome the trip has been.

More clips of the wrestlers doing military stuff. There isn’t much to say on these things as they’re just meeting troops and shots of events and equipment. The wrestlers want to come back.

Booker T. and some soldiers wish us a five time Merry Christmas.

Before the show, a General thanked the troops.

The same General thanked the wrestlers and gave them a special coin. Seeing Undertaker in street clothes is still bizarre.

Hardcore Holly vs. Kenzo Suzuki

I can’t complain about the repetitive formula here. Suzuki is wrestling barefoot here and hits an early hiptoss. Holly isn’t having that and chops Suzuki in the corner until a hot shot puts Holly in trouble. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Holly fights up and hits the dropkick. Holly’s top rope clothesline sets up the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Another soldier says hi and misses his family.

Video on the arena being set up. Some of the soldiers got to mess around in the ring for a bonus.

Here’s JBL in the Hummer, now with longhorns. JBL however is in a hazmat suit because….well because he’s a hard guy to figure out. After popping up the mask on the suit, he complains about the conditions here, including saying that the food has no exit strategy and the toilet paper is rather abrasive. JBL talks about how good things happens when he comes over here but he’s getting tired of bringing the good luck. Oh and where is the booze? We could call this place Rehabistan.

He’s happy to be our American hero and knows the fans want to chant his name. This time though, just whisper it so the enemy doesn’t know where they are. JBL leaves, promising to see us when the next war starts somewhere else. Cue Big Show to say he doesn’t like JBL making this all about himself. Show makes fun of the suit and knocks JBL to the floor with a right hand. As usual, when JBL is being over the top and goofy, he’s all kinds of fun.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops and the thought process in setting this up.

Wrestlers, troops, troops, wrestlers.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Call me crazy, but having Kurt Angle, the American hero, as the face might not work on this show. Angle tries to explain why he doesn’t such but Eddie cuts him off. Eddie and Rey drive out in a Hummer, with Tazz thinking Eddie stole it. Rey even has a camouflage mask. Rey and Angle start things off with Kurt easily taking him down and working on the arm. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Rey down for a bit and it’s Reigns coming in for a backbreaker.

Angle’s snap suplex gets two and Reigns hits another backbreaker for two of his own. Rey finally spins out and hits a tornado DDT to drop Reigns, setting up the hot tag to Eddie. The rope walk headscissors/wristdrag take the villains down but Angle reverses Three Amigos into the ankle lock. That’s broken up in a hurry but Reigns breaks up the 619. Eddie takes Angle down and now the 619 hits Reigns. The frog splash gets two with Angle making the save so Eddie sends him outside. Rey Drops The Dime to finish Reigns.

Rating: C+. Not a bad main event here with the three best guys doing everything they could and Reigns getting in his stuff at the right times. Much like the rest of the show, the wrestling wasn’t the point here but at least we got a good match out of it. That’s pretty impressive when they only had six minutes.

One more video of the wrestlers with the troops wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to say on this one. The whole point was about making the troops feel important with some wrestling included. They did that to the letter but the wrestling was just there for the most part. To be fair though, that’s exactly what you knew was coming. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be and while it might not mean much, it was a cool thing to do and the show flew by.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 25, 2001
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the first of two shows that someone asked me to review in a row and since I’ve gone nuts covering stuff in advance this week, I might as well get to the first of them. We’re just past the Royal Rumble and coming up on No Way Out, meaning Wrestlemania is just around the corner. Things are getting awesome again and hopefully that’s the case here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at last week, where Steve Austin cost HHH the WWF Title. HHH was ready to blast Austin with the sledgehammer but WWF Champion Kurt Angle came out to say he cost HHH the title. A fight was teased with Angle calling him monkey boy. Trish Stratus came out and challenged Stephanie McMahon for a bonus. After some, ahem, convincing from Trish, Vince agreed to make a mixed tag. Stephanie and Trish beat each other up until HHH Pedigreed Trish to give Stephanie the pin. Austin came out and beat up HHH to end the show. And now you’re caught up on the main event, which you never get today.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Rikishi

Ah the days of main event heel Rikishi. The brawl starts on the floor with Undertaker sending Rikishi head first into the steps but stopping to glare at the referee. They get in for the first time with a running clothesline in the corner rocking Rikishi again. Old School connects but Rikishi runs him over and drops a big leg. Undertaker is right back up with the jumping clothesline for two of his own before it’s back to the right hands. There’s the running DDT but Haku (Rikishi’s partner) comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on with a double headbutt dropping Undertaker. Rikishi sits on his chest but here’s Kane for the save. Undertaker isn’t sure what to think of Kane before raising his hand.

A ticked off Vince arrives in the limo and yells at the driver for making him 20 minutes later. That’s early around here. Vince fires the driver anyway.

Here’s Vince in the arena to blow off some steam. Notice something here: we’re about 20 minutes into the show and we’ve had a long recap (longer than necessary but fine) and a match. We didn’t spent fifteen minutes settling into the show and kill the buzz right off the bat. Why is that so complicated? Anyway Vince complains about the driver again and says that believe it or not, there is intelligent life here in Mobile.

Now it’s time to complain about the dental situation but Vince stops to listen to the fans booing. With that out of the way, Vince talks about the mixed tag from Monday and isn’t happy about Angle manhandling Stephanie. Then to make it worse, Trish was driven CHEST FIRST into the mat by a Pedigree, all followed by Austin interfering again. To make sure that doesn’t happen again, Austin and HHH have the night off. Instead they’ll face off at No Way Out with the contract signing taking place on Monday.

As for tonight though, Angle needs to get out here RIGHT NOW. Angle comes out and talks about how much he respects him and even throws in a salute. We get an official apology for what happened to Stephanie and Trish but that’s not good enough. That’s why tonight, Angle is defending against Kane. And they’re out without some big explanation. Keep this stuff moving.

Jeff Hardy/Bradshaw vs. Matt Hardy/Faarooq

Well ok then. This is fallout from the Hardys brawling in the Rumble so they start against each other here. Jeff punches him to the floor but misses a dive as Lita and Jacqueline are watching in the back. Back in and Jeff jumps over Matt in the corner and dropkicks him in the back to take over. Jeff gets shoved off the top to set up the screaming legdrop and there go the shirts. The jawbreaker takes Matt down so it’s off to Bradshaw who gets two off a slam….with Faarooq making the save.

Now it’s the battle of the APA (King: “We’re about to experience Bar Wars!”) with Faarooq nailing the powerslam. They fight to the floor and Bradshaw gets sent into the steps. The ref has to take a chair away from Faarooq so it’s a spinebuster to drop Bradshaw instead. There’s no cover though, allowing Bradshaw to hit the Clothesline for a double knockdown. Jeff tags himself in and the Hardys double team Faarooq, with Matt hitting the Twist of Fate into the Swanton for the pin. King: “Are the Hardys drunk?”

Rating: D. Well that’s a thing that happened and actually it made me want to see the APA have a one off hoss fight. It’s likely to be more entertaining than the various Hardys matches over the years. The ending at least made sense as the Hardys are going to be more about each other than themselves so everything is fine. Well not the match but everything else.

Tough Enough video auditions in the days before digital cameras. Included: Justin Roberts.

Vince is on the phone with someone (presumably Trish) and tells her to just stay in bed and get better. Linda’s doctor calls in and Vince tells him to double her medication. Vince sees HHH arrive and gets off the phone.

Post break Vince wants to know why HHH is here. HHH thinks Austin will be here because things happen. Like what happened to a certain lady on Raw. HHH wants to know which lady Vince is more worried about. Vince throws him out.

We look at the still incredible Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho ladder match from the Rumble.

Here’s the Rock to do commentary on the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho is defending while being very banged up after winning the title on Sunday. It’s weird seeing Show slim after his stint in OVW where he lost a ton of weight. Jericho charges in to start and is gorilla pressed onto his face for a crash. Show goes after him and gets his throat snapped across the top rope to give Jericho an opening.

A ribs first ram into the post keeps Jericho down as the fans chant for Rock. The bearhug goes on (well duh) for a bit until Jericho slips out and goes for the knee in a smart move. A Walls attempt is easily blocked by a hand around the throat and the Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane)….draws in Chris Benoit to go after Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jericho couldn’t do much against someone that big. What we got wasn’t too bad though and they could have done something better with the right amount of time. That being said, Jericho wasn’t about to lose the title so soon after winning it in such a great match just a few days earlier.

Post match Show gets rid of Benoit and goes after Rock, who hits him in the head with the title. Jericho’s forearm off the apron sets up the Rock Bottom on the floor to leave Show laying.

Austin is here. I’m shocked too.

HHH looks around the room where Austin just was but no one has seen him. Threats ensue.

K-Kwik vs. Tazz

That would be R-Truth, who is basically the same person he would be about eighteen years later (minus the insanity). Kwik starts fast (quickly you might say) and kicks Tazz in the face, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Tazz is right back with a t-bone Tazplex for two of his own, followed by a hard clothesline. Some slaps (called punches) have Tazz in trouble and there’s a powerslam, but here’s Kaientai for the overdubbed voices (those still make me laugh). They’re impressed by Kwik’s funky hair and the distraction lets Tazz grab the Tazmission for the win.

Post match Kaientai admits that they distracted Kwik on purpose, due to reasons of EVIL.

We look at Drew Carey’s time at and in the Royal Rumble. Still one of the best celebrity cameos ever.

Austin is outside drinking beer.

Post break HHH goes to find him but there’s no Austin. The beer cans are still there though.

European Title: Test vs. Christian

Test is defending. Before the match, Christian says Edge is out with a stomach ache after eating the food here in Mobile (which he pronounces incorrectly). Since Alabama is stupid, Christian gives us a quiz: Test is either A, a Reekazoid, B, has more teeth than everyone in this city or C, is about to become the shortest reigning European Champion of all time. It’s D, all of the above (it always is).

Christian jumps him at the bell and bumps the referee, allowing him to miss a belt shot. Test gets in a shot to put him on the floor and there’s the full nelson slam but the ref is still down. Now the belt shot can connect for a slow two and frustration is upon up. Test’s always cool looking tilt-a-whirl slam sets up a faceplant for two more as they’re certainly moving out there. The pumphandle powerslam is broken up so Christian heads up, only to get backdropped down. Test’s big boot retains the title.

Rating: C. This was another short one (more on that later) but rather entertaining as I really liked Test at this point. He had the look, the power game and the athleticism to make himself something entertaining but after last year, there wasn’t anything else for him to do. This was as good as he was going to get and that’s not the worst place to be.

HHH sees Austin having a beer with Kaientai. Since there is no Austin after the break, HHH beats both of them up. Since they’re EVIL, does that make HHH a hero?

We look at Chyna injuring her neck in a match against Ivory at the Royal Rumble. That earned her a stretcher job and a ride in an ambulance. She currently has bone fragments in her neck, which have to be removed.

Hollys vs. Right To Censor

That would be the same Right To Censor (Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the team here) who were very pleased with what happened to Chyna. The hometown Hollys have Molly with them to counter Steven Richards and Ivory. Crash gets taken into the wrong corner to start and the beating is on in a hurry. A powerslam takes him down again and Buchanan does his awesome rope walk clothesline (unfortunately that was the only thing he could do).

Some forearms are cut off by Goodfather’s elbow as King worries about Angle facing Kane tonight. The Ho train misses and it’s off to Hardcore for the house cleaning. The hanging kick between the legs (to the stomach of course) keeps Buchanan in trouble and Richards gets taken down. Buchanan is right back with a DDT on Hardcore but Ivory’s Women’s Title hits Buchanan by mistake, allowing Hardcore to get in the dropkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. See, now why is that so much to ask? The hometown guys get a win to make the fans happy and it’s a protected loss for the RTC as they have something going on. This is the kind of thing that can be done without ticking the fans off and it’s not like anyone outside of the live audience is going to remember this in a week.

HHH has been ordered to Vince’s office.

We recap the night, which seems a bit like filler.

HHH comes up to Vince, who didn’t send for him. They figure out that Austin is waiting in the office so Vince keeps talking as HHH looks behind those see thru screens that serve no purpose. Now given that they are see thru, Austin would be able to see HHH motioning for Vince to keep talking, but that’s beside the point, mainly because Austin followed them in. HHH accidentally hits Vince with a metal tray and Austin beats both of them up.

And now, here’s the same thing again.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Kane is challenging and Angle is scared to death. Before the match, Angle calls Kane out for his short title reign back in 1998. If Kane thinks he’s winning it back, his brain is more burned than his face. Angle insists that it is NOT a knock against burn victims, because he has a lot of fans who are burn victims! Angle’s belt shot misses (there have been a lot of those tonight) and the fight starts on the floor before the bell.

Kane throws him halfway inside for the bell and some elbows to the chest keep the champ in trouble. The threat of a chokeslam sends Angle to the ropes but we cut to the back to see Haku and Rikishi beating Undertaker down. Back in the arena, Kane doesn’t notice and hits a clothesline. Some suplexes just make Kane sit up a few times and a clothesline does the same. A backdrop sends Angle flying as he can’t do anything with the monster. Angle finally goes with a front facelock to slow him down but that doesn’t work either.

Instead Angle grabs a chair, which Kane kicks straight back into his face. There’s the side slam top drop Angle again and the top rope clothesline connects. Cue Haku and Rikishi though with the referee somehow not calling for the DQ. With the referee yelling at Rikishi, Haku chairs Kane twice and superkicks him down so Angle can retain.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here and they even covered why Undertaker wasn’t out there. This was another protected loss and that’s the right move with someone as hot as Kane was coming off the Royal Rumble. Angle escapes with the title, which fits him perfectly, and the match was fine enough. It was well booked instead of being great, which is an acceptable way to go.

Post match Kane gets beaten down so here’s a beaten up Undertaker for the save. Another beatdown lets Rikishi and Haku stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. So why did this work so well? A lot of it would be how fast they kept things, which yes, does mean they kept the matches short. It’s ok to have a long match every now and then but when you’re having multiple fifteen minute matches every week, the fans aren’t going to keep paying attention. This show moved around very well and the big stories held it together. Of course the talent helped, but they kept thing flowing and that’s almost as important. Very fun show here and the followup should be good too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 21, 2019
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big night as we have the 24/7 Title making its Smackdown debut. I don’t know what else we could have that lives up to that level. The Roman Reigns vs. Elias rematch and the return of Big E. just don’t feel anywhere near as important as the comedy stuff we might be seeing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Shane McMahon (they’re not waiting tonight) is in his office when a nervous Elias comes in. Elias didn’t like what some of the fans have been saying about him and he lost focus at Money in the Bank. He’s ready for Reigns tonight and he’ll be in Shane’s corner at Super ShowDown. Shane says he doesn’t need it, but he’ll be in Elias’ corner tonight. Well of course he will be.

Here’s an excited New Day to announce that Big E. is back. Someone is brought out under a sheet and it’s….not E. Whoever it is is smaller that Xavier Woods and he is promptly thrown out. The real Big E. comes out and there’s a party ready for him in the ring, complete with blocks and a WELCOME BACK sign. Oh and lots of pancakes of course.

Big E. asks if he can smell the other two, with Woods saying that Big E. is medically cleared to sniff. Big E. brings up Becky Lynch’s mother but Woods cuts him off, though he does agree that she’s rather attractive. Kofi gets them back on track and talks about Brock Lesnar winning Money in the Bank and Kevin Owens losing on Sunday, which brings out Owens and Sami Zayn.

Sami talks about Big E. being gone for six weeks when he was gone for nine months. Big E. thinks they should get Sami something, with the team deciding on getting him nothing. Owens leaves and Sami rants about the fans being toxic, only to be cut off by the trombone. Sami promises to beat Kofi tonight, which Kofi says he’ll take seriously.

Carmella is walking through the back and looking for R-Truth, along with a bunch of other people (Drake Maverick even has wanted posters). She finds Truth in a wig (Truth: “The title gave me away didn’t it?”) and explains the rules to him again because Truth thinks he gets to keep it if he survives seven days. He can’t do this by himself and wants her to help him get through things. Carmella, possibly due to a head injury, agrees.

Ali vs. Andrade

Ali is taped up and Andrade doesn’t get an entrance. He and Zelina do get in an early tranquilo pose so Ali kicks him out to the floor. Back in and Vega offers a distraction so Andrade can take over as we take a break. We come back with Ali hitting a tornado DDT to send Andrade outside, meaning it’s a suicide dive.

The running flip dive puts them both down and Ali’s back is banged up. They head back in with Andrade kicking him in the back and hitting Two Amigos, followed by a slam into the corner. Andrade isn’t done as he slams Ali into the timekeeper’s area and we get the dive back in at nine. Running knees to the back give Andrade two so Ali small packages him for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C. Ali getting a fluke win is more than he usually gets so I’ll take what I can get. That being said, Andrade’s push stalls again as WWE doesn’t get how to protect someone while putting someone else over. They couldn’t do this with someone other than Andrade? Of course not….I guess.

Carmella fixes Truth’s wig and hands him a bra. Truth: “I’ve always had trouble getting these on.”

Video on Lars Sullivan.

Mandy Rose vs. Carmella

Sonya Deville and Truth are here as well. Carmella hammers away to start as we enter the filler before someone comes after Truth portion. Sonya pulls Mandy to the floor and gets in, allowing Mandy to grab a rollup for two. A superkick drops Mandy and here comes the mob to chase Truth for the no contest at 1:34.

Post match Truth runs off, with Carmella on his back, and the mob follows.

Bayley says she created her own opportunity at Money in the Bank. She’s passed the hugs and now she’s doing her best.

Carmella and Truth run into the women’s locker room and then come back out as the mob chases again.

Elias plays guitar to get ready for Reigns. I’m not sure I get the connection.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sami Zayn

Non-title. Hang on though as Big E. has been attacked and says it was Owens. Kofi is aggressive to start and runs Sami over on the floor. Back in and Sami sends him over the top and then into the steps before giving himself some jumping applause. Kofi hits a dropkick for a breather and we take a break. We come back with Sami hitting a top rope superplex for two as we hear about Woods going with Big E. to a hospital. Sami misses a kick to the face but Trouble in Paradise misses as well. The second Trouble in Paradise connects for the pin at 8:14 to finish Zayn.

Rating: C. This had some big spots but they were packed into a short match. It’s still annoying to have Sami losing after cutting such great promos but I’ll take what I can get in a pretty action packed match. If nothing else, how bad of a sign is it that the former World Champion not losing is that big of a relief?

Post match here’s Paul Heyman with the briefcase to tease Kofi, saying it’s the perfect time. Cue DOLPH ZIGGLER from behind to attack Kofi, including wrapping a chair around his neck and sending him into the announcers’ table. Ziggler even Pillmanizes the neck and Kofi does a stretcher job….before getting up on the stage and limping off. So, again, how many people can’t get to TV or can’t get off the upper midcard treadmill as they bring in ZIGGLER for a likely World Title match?

Roman Reigns arrives (with forty five minutes left in the show he’s main eventing) but Elias is on top of one of the production trucks to serenade him with a song about how jealous Reigns is.

Becky Lynch/Bayley vs. Lacey Evans/Charlotte

Before the match, Bayley and Becky threaten to come after the others’ titles. Joined in progress with Charlotte chopping Bayley in the corner and shouting about the title. Bayley gets dragged into the other corner so Lacey can grab a chinlock. Charlotte pulls Becky off the apron to avoid a cheap shot in true heel fashion.

Bayley gets up again and knocks Charlotte to the floor which is enough to bring Becky in for the house cleaning. The Bexploder has Charlotte in trouble but she Downward Spirals Becky into the corner. A rollup with a grab of the ropes and the trunks gives Charlotte two but Lacey decks Becky with the Woman’s Right. Bayley chases Lacey off and small packages Charlotte for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: D+. Now clearly this is a great way to set Charlotte up as the next challenger because that’s the right way to go. We haven’t seen Charlotte holding the title for all of two days so it’s time for something new for her. Bayley vs. Becky is intriguing, though I could go for keeping the titles apart for the time being.

Carmella and Truth keep running with Jinder Mahal catching up for a near fall. The B Team catches Truth next but get in a fight over who can pin him, allowing Truth to run off.

Dolph takes the microphone into the arena and says he gets why fans are booing him. This goes way back to when Ali got hurt and Kofi took his place. That should have been Ziggler getting to run the gauntlet and then winning the title from Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania. Every day since Wrestlemania he’s thought that it should be him and at Super ShowDown, it will be him. Yeah I still don’t care about Dolph Ziggler saying the same things he’s said for years.

Video on the history of Randy Orton vs. HHH to set up their match at Super ShowDown.

Roman Reigns vs. Elias

Shane is in Elias’ corner and handles his introduction. Reigns starts fast with the apron dropkick to rock Elias. Hang on though as he has to glare at Shane, allowing Elias to kick the rope for a low blow. A DDT gives Elias two and he sends Reigns shoulder first into the post. Back from a break with Reigns hitting the corner clotheslines but Shane breaks up the Superman Punch, allowing Elias to hit the jumping knee in the corner. An electric chair is broken up and Reigns hits a good right hand.

Another keeps Elias in trouble but he elbows out of a super Samoan drop. Now the electric chair into a powerbomb gives Elias two and it’s time for the slugout. The Superman Punch gets two with Shane putting Elias’ foot on the ropes. That earns Shane an apron dropkick but Elias sends Reigns into the post and then the steps. Back in and Elias drops a top rope elbow for two so Shane tells him to take off a buckle pad. The distraction lets Shane put the guitar in the corner but Reigns spears Elias for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: C. This feels like an old NWA style angle where if Reigns wins he gets five minutes with the annoying manager, but the manager happens to be the final boss and the biggest threat to actually beat him. Shane was portrayed as the evil mastermind here but he’s the kind of evil mastermind who can win a big match as well. That’s quite the heel power for someone who can’t get through a five minute match without needing oxygen.

Post match Shane grabs the guitar but Reigns takes it away. Cue Drew McIntyre to Claymore Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the streamlined version of the show and that makes it much better. It still has some big problems (Ziggler is back, Shane is the king of WWE, the long opening segment) but the comedy was in short enough spurts that it wasn’t as big of a problem and Truth did make it funny. I’d still like to actually see some of the people they already have on the roster getting a bigger push, but that’s the kind of thing that has just gone by the wayside for the sake of Shane. Good show here, though it feels like a mistake more than a successful game plan.

Results

Ali b. Andrade – Small package

Carmella vs. Mandy Rose went to a no contest when several wrestlers interfered

Kofi Kingston b. Sami Zayn – Trouble in Paradise

Becky Lynch/Bayley b. Charlotte/Lacey Evans – Small package to Charlotte

Roman Reigns b. Elias – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2004
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with Armageddon so now it’s time to get to the Royal Rumble, but before that we have the real important thing to get through: the finals of Tough Enough. Normally I would say the competition hasn’t been that bad, but some of the last few weeks have been such a mess that I can’t bring myself to go there. At least it’s wrapping up though and we can get back to something better. Like JBL. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Orlando Jordan to welcome JBL to the ring. It’s a special introduction this week with the limo decked out in bunting and JBL standing on top with Amy Weber, who is helped down by the Bashams. Naturally we get the red, white and blue balloons and confetti falling because that’s the kind of thing JBL would do. JBL talks about some great moments in American history, such as the end of the Great Depression and Ronald Reagan tearing down the Berlin Wall.

Those are the kind of moments that were joined by him defeating three challengers on Sunday, despite a General Manager being so biased and corrupt against him. How many people here bought a ticket to see a new champion here tonight? That’s ok, because he has a Christmas gift for Amy. That would be a tiara, followed by JBL starting a chant of his own name.

This brings out Kurt Angle of all people and it’s a staredown between Angle and company and the Cabinet. JBL hopes this is so Angle can offer congratulations but Angle is confused. He can’t believe that JBL thinks he’s the greatest champion of all time or that his victory was the greatest title win ever. Angle: “Are you out of your freaking mind?”

JBL wants his congratulations and an exit from Angle but instead it’s Kurt saying that HE is the greatest champion of all time. Like when he beat Steve Austin, the Rock, Rikishi, Undertaker and HHH inside the Cell at Armageddon 2000. Angle: “I INVENTED the over the top championship celebrations bucko!” JBL: “You didn’t just call me bucko.” Angle affirms that he did call him bucko, bucko. JBL says the Cell match was four years ago, but this year he lost a 3-1 match to Big Show.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Akio/Billy Kidman

Non-title. Rey and Kidman start (good idea) with Mysterio getting taken into the corner and stomped down. That’s fine with Rey, who comes back with some kicks to Akio’s legs but it’s too early for the 619. Instead Rey is sent outside and knocked off the apron so Kidman can get in a great dropkick on the floor.

Rey fights out of a chinlock and grabs a reverse neckbreaker but spins around into a faceplant for a move I haven’t seen before. Rob comes in to start clotheslining away, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. A monkey flip sends Kidman into the middle of the ring for a basement dropkick but Akio takes Rey to the floor. The BK Bomb plants Rob but Rey comes back in to break up the shooting star. The Five Star finishes Kidman.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match that the show could benefit from. Kidman and Akio aren’t going to be a regular team and they’re not the next big thing but it’s cool to see them thrown together in a one off match like this for a fresh option. It’s not a bad little match either, which is always a plus.

Here’s Torrie Wilson in a rather revealing Uncle Sam outfit. She’s proud of having helped entertain the troops last year and she’ll be doing it again next week. This was just an excuse for Torrie to be in the outfit.

The announcers talk about Tribute to the Troops when Heidenreich raids commentary. With Michael Cole running away (makes sense), Heidenreich puts a chair in the ring and reads a poem about wanting to replace Undertaker. Can we please find something better for Undertaker to do already???

Eddie Guerrero say they’re on the same page when another new woman named Lauren comes up. Booker hits on her and Eddie makes fun of him as she leaves. Eddie is ready to have a singles match next week for Tribute to the Troops, nearly triggering a fight. That might have been the most random cameo I’ve seen in years.

Michelle McCool says Theodore Long is meditating and can’t see Orlando Jordan. She slams the door in his face so here’s Luther Reigns to talk about hoe great Kurt Angle is. They go back and forth over how awesome their bosses are, down to Angle is nice to animals and JBL gives to charity. JBL offering medical care gets Reigns’ attention but he gets back to his normal arguments. All this did was show how lame both guys’ lackeys are.

Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

Booker and Rene start slowly as Tazz can’t remember what kind of warrior Kenzo is. Eddie comes in and gets elbowed in the face as Booker is facing the crowd for some reason. Some stomping in the corner has Rene in trouble with some blood coming from the nose. Booker comes in and kicks Kenzo in the face for two as the announcers talk about anything but the match. The fast tagging continues with Booker sending Kenzo outside as we take a very abrupt break.

Back with Kenzo still in trouble until a tag to Rene lets him get beaten up instead. A cheap shot lets Rene take over on Booker though and it’s Kenzo grabbing the nerve hold. That’s broken up and Booker hits a nice flapjack to drop Rene face first. That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie so the pace can pick up but Kenzo blocks the third Amigo. Everything breaks down and it’s a Book End to Suzuki. Hiroko’s kendo stick interference is broken up so it’s an ax kick to set up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. Kind of sloppy at times here but it’s nice to see Kenzo and Dupree going away already. There isn’t anything special to them and getting them out of the title picture is the best thing that can happen for everyone involved. They’re fine as jobbers and little more, but having them as champions for two months was a chore. Eddie and Booker don’t seem like a long term solution, but at least they had a watchable match.

JBL is fine with Jordan not getting the match called off. He’s not happy with getting to go wrestle in the Middle East next week though and backtracks in a hurry. Carlito comes in and suggests they get together to deal with Theodore Long. JBL is interested.

And now, here’s the full John Cena vs. Jesus match from the pay per view, complete with black and white shots when Jesus was bleeding. For the sake of filling in some space:

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Here’s Al Snow for the Tough Enough finale. Daniel Puder and Mike Mizanin come out and Puder is announced as the winner, which should have been the case given how much charisma he showed. Nearly making Angle tap on TV helped too. Puder talks about how hard he trained to get here and he isn’t done yet. Snow has another surprise: Puder is officially in the Royal Rumble. That comes off as an actual surprise as Puder looks stunned. Mizanin doesn’t get to say anything, but he does congratulate Puder on his win.

Angle rants about the state of American sports today and says America needs him. Reigns hints at Angle giving him healthcare for a back injury but Angle shouts him down instead.

Theodore Long is on commentary for the main event but first he has an announcement: next week it’s Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Joy Giovanni in a rather nice Santa outfit to throw candy canes to the crowd.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is challenging. JBL accepts a candy cane from Joy and Amy doesn’t like it, meaning the catfight is on with both of them losing their tops. Joy runs when Reigns gets too close and everyone is ejected for the sake of some sanity. We take a break and come back joined in progress with JBL giving us a clean break out of the corner. Angle takes over on the arm until a right hand takes care of that.

A belly to belly works a bit better for Angle but JBL runs him over and drops three straight elbows for two. The chinlock goes on for all of a few seconds before Angle escapes into the ankle lock. That’s enough to send JBL to the ropes and then the floor, with Angle being whipped into the steps. Back from a break with JBL shouldering Angle down again and grabbing an armbar of his own.

That’s broken up so JBL grabs a powerslam, which is countered into a reverse DDT for a double knockdown. JBL gets in the fall away slam but the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the rolling German suplexes. The ankle lock goes on so JBL kicks away, setting up the Angle Slam for two.

JBL pulls Angle down by the bad shoulder but a powerbomb is countered into another ankle lock. Cue the Bashams/Reigns/Jindrak for the brawl on the floor as JBL taps but the referee is distracted. Jordan comes in with the belt shot for a close two and Angle grabs the ankle lock again. This time Jordan comes in for the DQ to save the title.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a bad match at all with both guys looking pretty good, even with the obvious ending taking place. JBL’s matches continue to be pretty decent most of the time, but that doesn’t make him the most exciting champion in the world. This is likely going to set up the Royal Rumble title match, though it’s going to need a little more.

Post match Big Show runs in to clean house and motion that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a pretty tame show this week with that Cena vs. Jesus match in the middle being rather weird. Maybe Cena went ahead overseas and wasn’t available for the show? Anyway, the rest of the show wasn’t terrible, but it was also nothing very interesting. At least Tough Enough went by quickly and didn’t take up a lot of time. We’re starting to gear up for the Rumble though and that’s the best thing that can happen to the company at the moment. Not a very good show this week, but they at least have a direction for the time being.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 14, 2019
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the second of two nights in London and that means we get to see how close to four names WWE can bring in from Raw this week. This is also the go home show for Money in the Bank so it’s time for the brawl between Kofi Kingston and Kevin Owens. Throw in the required build towards the ladder matches and we could be in for a nice little show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Roman Reigns to call out Elias, but first he wants the Miz out here. After sucking up to the crowd, Miz talks about how he has five days until Shane McMahon is trapped in a cage. Shane attacked Miz’s father and that is not acceptable, so it’s time for payback. It’s also time for Shane and Elias with Shane saying that Miz isn’t a Wild Card because he’s just disgusting. Therefore, Miz is banned from the building tonight.

Elias doesn’t like Reigns calling him a wedding singer and Reigns has underestimated him. At Money in the Bank, Reigns will find out what WWE stands for. Shane wants to get rid of Miz and Reigns right now so here are Rowan and Daniel Bryan to help. The beatdown is on so it’s the Usos for the save.

Post break Shane makes himself, Rowan, Bryan and Elias vs. Reigns/Usos. If Miz interferes, the cage match is off.

Randy Orton vs. Andrade vs. Ali vs. Finn Balor

Non-title. Before the match, Orton says he’ll win the briefcase on Sunday and make RKO the dangerous letters for the WWE Champion. Zelina Vega promises a spoiler for Sunday, which means Andrade wins the briefcase. Joined in progress with Ali holding his leg but being able to roll Orton up for two. The snap powerslam drops Ali but he comes back with a dropkick for a breather.

Orton teases the RKO out of the corner so Ali hangs on and takes Orton down instead, meaning it’s Andrade coming in for the save. Andrade runs Balor and Ali over, setting up the running knees in the corner. Instead of covering though, Andrade listens to Vega and throws a ladder in. Said ladder is superkicked back into his face by Ali, who dives into another ladder shot from Andrade to take us to a break.

Back with Balor hitting a Sling Blade on Andrade and dropkicking him into the corner. Ali hits the rolling X Factor on Balor but misses the 450, instead rolling into the RKO. Balor takes care of Orton though and we’re down to two for the moment. Andrade is back up and sends Balor into the steps, setting up the hammerlock DDT for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. Gotta pin that champ! It’s another match where there were more options to take the fall but instead of going with Orton, which would mean more and hurt him less. I doubt this is going to go to another title match between Balor and Andrade, though it would make sense to give Andrade the title at this point after pinning Balor twice.

Post match Andrade climbs the ladder but here’s Ricochet to springboard onto the ladder and punch him down. Ricochet grabs the briefcase, more or less guaranteeing that he won’t do it on Sunday.

Carmella says she’s the favorite this Sunday and is going to threepeat.

Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston fire each other up.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat. She talks about her historic rivalry with Becky Lynch, which will end on Sunday with her as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. We get a video history of their feud, dating back to NXT. They met in the main event of Wrestlemania and now they’re doing it again here. It is quite the feud, but I could go for something else already. The problem though is the lack of challengers for Lynch, which has been the case for awhile now. Charlotte didn’t need to be in the ring for this.

Lacey Evans promises to make Becky Two Belts Becky Black Eye. On the other hand, she’ll go from Lacey Evans to Lacey Evans: Raw Women’s Champions.

Aleister Black talks about appearances being deceptive and how no one likes the place they try to venture into when they try to accomplish their goal. He tries to hide his villainy with old odd ends, stolen from various places, when most he plays fade to black. I think I need an English degree to understand what he just said.

Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan/Rowan/Elias vs. Roman Reigns/Usos

Jimmy and Bryan start things off with a basic sequence, including Bryan hitting a shoulder block. Jey comes in and gets taken into the corner for some chops from Elias as the villains take over. Something off the top bangs up Jey’s knee and it’s off to Shane for some elbows to the new target. Bryan comes in to add a running dropkick to the knee. Jey gets shoved off the top for a hard crash into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Jey in trouble and Elias slamming him down for some near falls. An enziguri finally takes Shane down so Reigns can come in to clean house. Reigns fires off clotheslines in the corner to keep Bryan in trouble but an Elias distraction lets Bryan get in a kick to the ribs. Rowan comes in so Elias immediately tags himself in, much to Rowan’s annoyance. A jumping knee to the face gives Elias two, followed by an elbow from Rowan as we take a break.

Back again with Elias getting caught in a Samoan drop so Jimmy can come back in to pick up the pace. Bryan misses a superkick but all of his teammates take one, followed by Jey tagging himself in for some double superkicks. Everything breaks down and Rowan knocks Jimmy to the floor. Reigns comes off the steps with a Superman Punch to Rowan, leaving Jimmy to take the Coast to Coast for the pin at 19:12.

Rating: C-. Gotta keep Shane strong, just in case being the top heel in the company isn’t enough. This one is a lot less annoying than Balor taking a fall though as Shane has a brighter present than Andrade and possibly even a better future. As much as I cringe saying that, at least Shane vs. Miz should be done on Sunday, a mere six and a half months after it started.

Post match Miz comes in and cleans house with a chair but Shane escapes unscathed.

Here’s this week’s Firefly Fun House, which seems to be the start of Wyatt’s return to the ring.

Ember Moon says she’ll risk it all to win it all.

Bayley says Sunday is a chance to show what she can be.

Pay per view rundown, which doesn’t look bad.

Asuka/Kairi Sane vs. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose

Back with Sane getting two off a crossbody to Rose, who nails a Kiss of the Rose to take over. Deville’s running knee gets two but Mandy misses a running boot in the corner. It’s back to Asuka to clean house with the Asuka Lock getting broken up by Sonya. That’s enough for Sonya to come back in for some kicks to the chest and a spinebuster. Mandy wants the pin though, allowing Asuka to roll her up for the fast pin at 8:46.

Rating: D+. This show is dragging and this was another case of the same. The ending was a quick one though and a way to make Sonya think that she might have made the wrong decision by letting Mandy have the spot. At the same time, Kabuki Warriors? They really spent time and came up with that?

Video on Lars Sullivan.

Lars Sullivan has nothing to say.

Kevin Owens can’t wait to interview Kofi Kingston and isn’t worried about the rest of the New Day. He talks about the various things he could do to hurt Kofi but New Day’s entrance cuts him off.

We come back from a break with Kofi sitting in the KO Show chairs with no Owens in sight. Kofi says he accepted an invitation to come onto the show and asks where Owens is. Owens pops up on screen to say that Kofi is on his own for the first time in eleven years. After he loses the title, reality sets in. That reality is that Kofi doesn’t win the title without New Day and on Sunday, he’s facing the most dangerous man in WWE. We see a video on Owens rising to the top of WWE, starting with laying out John Cena on his first night on the main roster.

Owens finally comes out but stops in the aisle, meaning Kofi charges out to go after him. Cue Sami Zayn to jump Kofi from behind, I guess confirming that the Usos only count as one Wild Card entry, because WWE STILL CAN’T MAKE SENSE OUT OF THIS STUPID RULE! Woods runs in for a failed save attempt so Owens shouts about how he has help and Kofi doesn’t. The Cannonball misses and the Helluva Kick only hits rope. Trouble in Paradise takes Sami down and Kofi shouts at Owens to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It felt like they had been on tour for a long time and now they’re just running on fumes. Tonight’s show actually felt long for a change and that hasn’t been the case for Smackdown lately. The lack of a major focus on the ladder matches helped though as I’m liking the Kofi vs. Owens story more and more every week. They’ve got a little something with Kofi being on his own and Owens knows just how to exploit it. Not a very good show here, but it could have been worse. Oh and they still can’t count to five (spare me about the Usos being one Wild Card as that would be stretching it even for WWE).

Results

Andrade b. Finn Balor, Randy Orton and Ali – Hammerlock DDT to Balor

Shane McMahon/Rowan/Daniel Bryan/Elias b. Roman Reigns/Usos – Coast to Coast to Jimmy

Kabuki Warriors b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Rollup to Rose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2004
Location: Bi-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and thank goodness for that. The last few weeks of shows have been nothing short of dreadful and I can’t wait to get this pay per view out of the way so we can move on to the Royal Rumble build. Tonight is likely going to feature a lot of Tough Enough and the other two stories that matter around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at JBL and the Cabinet beating down Undertaker last week.

The Cabinet is in the ring to open the show. JBL demands respect and talks about all the other former WWE Champions that aren’t as great as he is now. His three challengers on Sunday couldn’t beat him one on one and now they get a chance at the same time. It is a sick, sick joke and all Theodore Long’s fault. The lights go out and it’s Undertaker appearing to beat up the Cabinet, who run away in a hurry.

We recap Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko, which is all because Kenzo Suzuki wants Torrie.

Battle Royal

Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Billy Kidman, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore, Akio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. It’s the standard brawl to start with teased eliminations that don’t get very far. Nunzio takes a rather stupid trip to the top and gets kicked in the head for the first elimination. London hits a top rope double stomp to Akio’s back but gets dumped by Kidman. Funaki crotches Akio on top and Shannon dropkicks him out to get us down to four.

Kidman’s pop up powerbomb to Chavo is countered by a hurricanrana and Shannon grabs a swinging neckbreaker on Funaki. The announcers aren’t sure who to pick here as Funaki backdrops Shannon out. A Gory Bomb doesn’t get rid of Kidman so Funaki eliminates Kidman and Chavo at the same time for the win.

Rating: D. Pretty run of the mill battle royal with far too few people to make sense for a match like this and a rather uninspiring winner. The Cruiserweight division is back to its old standard of a champion and a random challenger with nothing in between. There’s nothing to see here and the division needs a change in a hurry.

Jackie Gayda begs Charlie Haas not to fight tonight as his eyes are bloody and his ribs are banged up. He’s going to do it anyway so here’s Josh to ask annoying questions about him being guest referee on Sunday. Of course he’s going to be partial. Well I certainly appreciate the honesty.

Mizanin wants Justice Smith and Daniel Puder to step into his reality on Sunday. He needs a lot of practice but you can see the talent there.

Jesus vs. Charlie Haas

Anything goes and falls count anywhere but we can’t say hardcore anymore. Carlito gets ejected before the match so he spits apple at Charles Robinson. Charlie starts fast and gets in a chair shot but Carlito brings out Dawn Marie, allowing Jesus to get in a chain shot to the head for the knockout in about 45 seconds.

Post match, Jackie and Dawn run in to check on Charlie and glare at each other.

Justice Smith doesn’t care who he knocks out on Sunday.

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni and asks her to tell her boyfriend the Big Show that Reigns is looking for him. Bad acting ensues.

JBL and the Cabinet are leaving before tonight’s handicap match. Long says the Cabinet is a joke and says JBL is wrestling on his own on Sunday and if anyone comes out to help him, he is stripped of the title. Just cue up his victory music already. The Bashams come in to say there has been a security breach, meaning someone has stolen the tires from the limo and put it up on blocks. We cut to the arena where Eddie rolls out a tire. Eddie says he knows a guy who can get JBL a good deal on some tires but to save the tears for Sunday.

Daniel Puder rambles about how great a fighter he is. Mizanin really did outclass the other two by a long way.

Torrie Wilson is at a photo shoot when Michelle McCool delivers some flowers to her. They’re from Kenzo Suzuki and Torrie isn’t happy. Hiroko comes up and doesn’t like Torrie calling him a jerk so the catfight is on with Torrie being stripped to her underwear. The chase is on and Torrie strips her as well so they can run into the arena. Kenzo and Rene Dupree come in for the save so here are Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio for the real save. Cue Long to say let’s have Sunday’s title match right now.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Kenzo and Dupree are defending and we’re joined in progress with Rey getting chopped down. For some reason that means the hip swivel from Suzuki so Rey kicks him in the face and hands it off to Rob for the slingshot legdrop. Rene comes in and gets kicked down as well to give Rob two more. The illegal Rey adds a springboard seated senton to let Rob get another two off a sunset flip.

A Bronco Buster in the corner keeps Rene in trouble and it’s a split legged moonsault from Rob, with Kenzo hitting his partner in a botched save. 420 (with Cole quickly explaining the name as a combination of legs and shoe sizes) looks to set up the Five Star but Kenzo crotches Rob for the save. The chinlock slows things down a bit and Rene drops Rob on the back of his head for two.

Cole says that suddenly the champs are in control, despite them being on offense for the last minute plus since Cole said they took control in the first place. Kenzo comes in to add his own chinlock and it’s back to Rene for the French Tickler, with Tazz adding a lot through the singing. The dancing takes a bit too long though (well duh) and Rob scores with a kick to the face (like it would be anything else) to get a breather.

Rob finally kicks Kenzo down though and now the hot tag brings in Rey. A top rope seated senton and the spinning DDT get two on Kenzo, setting up another springboard seated senton (Rob is less subtle with his kicks to the face). Rolling Thunder from Rob gives Rey two with Rene making the save. There’s the 619 but Rene busts Rey’s spine before the cover. Hiroko puts Kenzo on top for two with the raised shoulder drawing a scream. Back up and Rey grabs a rollup with Rob pulling on his arm for the pin and the titles. Thankfully Cole points out how Kenzo and Rene cheated to keep the titles at No Mercy.

Rating: D+. It was rather dull when the champs were on offense and it that is a surprise, then you haven’t been paying attention lately. Rob and Rey’s offense wasn’t much better as they were doing the same stuff over and over again. That being said, I’ll take the title change over anything else as Kenzo and Rene have sucked the life out of the titles every time they’re in the ring.

Video on the house show tour.

Video on HHH beating up Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity.

Armageddon rundown. My already low interest falls even further.

It’s Tough Enough time and Justice Smith is eliminated. That leaves Puder and Mizanin to face off in a boxing match on Sunday. That’s not enough though as we have to have the American Gladiators style joust first. It’s 2/3 falls and Puder wins 2-0 with ease. This was FAR shorter than usual as they weren’t even out there for five minutes total and it helped a lot.

Raw Rebound.

Booker T. stretches with Michelle McCool and reveals that he stole JBL’s hat. Now though, it has a hole in the top for his hair.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational, though he looks to be limping a bit. This week’s hometown hero: the Big Show. Well at least it isn’t Moolah. Angle grabs a mic though and says this isn’t happening because Show isn’t getting it down to 2-1 on Sunday. Instead, Show can face….Mark Jindrak, as introduced by Luther Reigns, who doesn’t seem interested in the spot.

Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak

Show tosses Jindrak, in street clothes, into the corner for the early stomping and a headbutt to make it even worse. The overhand chops and step on the chest continue Big Show’s Greatest Hits. Jindrak’s dropkick earns him a big boot but Angle’s distraction lets Jindrak chop block Show. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though, as Show grabs the chokeslam, earning himself a chair shot from Angle for the DQ.

Post match Angle hits Show in the back with the steps for a good shot.

Heidenreich lays in a small room and watches a clock. The ticking gets very loud until Paul Heyman comes in with medication. He takes it, and thanks Heyman for visiting him again. Heyman even has a surprise: Heidenreich’s therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich is happy there though and won’t leave. He does thank Heyman for visiting him though, so at least he’s polite.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero/Undertaker vs. The Cabinet

Amy Weber is here with the Cabinet though there’s no limo. Eddie has the low rider though, complete with JBL’s tires on the back. It’s a brawl to start with JBL hanging back instead of getting involved. The Cabinet is sent outside without much effort and we take an early break. Back with the smoke still in the ring from Undertaker’s entrance and Booker kicking Danny in the face.

Eddie comes in and stomps in the corner, followed by a poke to the eye to slow Danny down. It’s back to Booker as they’re saving Undertaker for the big tag at the end. Danny finally clotheslines Eddie, allowing the first tag off to JBL. A glare from the Undertaker is enough to hand it off to Danny, but Undertaker chases JBL into the crowd. We settle back down to Eddie in trouble with Doug dropping a leg and grabbing a seated full nelson. Eddie fights up so JBL gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut him off again.

JBL comes in and puts on a sleeper until it’s a suplex to freedom. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and NOW it’s Undertaker time, with Orlando Jordan getting to be the first victim. The legdrop hits the side of the head for a change of pace and everything breaks down. Eddie ducks a belt shot from JBL and the champ is surrounded. Jordan makes the save and gets chokeslammed, leaving Eddie and Booker to beat up the Bashams. Eddie hits a frog splash and it’s the Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with Undertaker being the big ending, but my goodness they’re not even trying to hide how much they’re telegraphing JBL retaining on Sunday. The more they stack up the odds, the more obvious it is that he’s keeping the title again and that’s going to be really annoying when Sunday is over.

JBL is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a good show, but this was miles better than what they’ve been doing recently. Maybe it was Tough Enough being so short or maybe it was giving something other than the World Title match some focus, but this wasn’t as bad as the rest of the shows from the last few weeks. The problem is that it still wasn’t very good as they’re firmly in the holiday break season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 7, 2019
Location: KFC Yum Center, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the first show under the new Wild Card Rule, which basically means the Brand Split is done. The official rule is that four names from the other show can come over, but the real question is how many of those people will actually show up. Since WWE couldn’t actually manage to get the rule straight last night for more than about an hour at a time, odds are it’s going to be changed around here as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, looking straight at the stage. The entire hard camera side and upper deck were tarped off. The rest of the arena was mostly full, but that one side was completely empty.

Here’s Monday Night Raw’s AJ Styles to open things up. Phillips: “AJ Styles could be the first Wild Card Rule name showing up!” Gee you think? AJ is glad to be back and explains the Wild Card Rule again, saying he’s here because he was brave enough and fast enough. This brings out Sami Zayn (who was crushed in a garbage truck last night) to insult the Kentucky Fried Hillbillies and call AJ out for his toxic ego which has spiraled out of control.

AJ makes fun of Sami for smelling bad from the trashcan, suggesting that Sami take a shower. This brings out Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods, who say that Kofi is champ now so AJ shouldn’t be so worried about Smackdown anymore. AJ is just returning the favor from last night when Kofi came over to Raw. Kofi gets in his face and asks what AJ is going to do about things but Sami cuts them off, saying that this shouldn’t happen.

The truth is that the people aren’t happy for Kofi, who is now caught up in trying to make the fans happy by throwing out title matches. Besides, if anyone should be getting the title match, it’s Sami himself. Kofi asks about the smell as well so the fans tell Sami to take a shower. Anyway, Kofi put the title on the line last night because he’s a fighting champion and he’ll defend the title against either of them tonight. Not that it matters which one though, because he’ll remain champion. The dancing wraps up another too long opening segment.

Kevin Owens is in his car and says that since it’s his birthday, he’s going home instead of dealing with horrible Kentucky people. He’ll win the title from Kofi at Money in the Bank.

The triple threat title match is official for tonight.

We get a rather cool video from Ali, who is looking up at a street light. The light seems far away but it shows you the path that you can take. At Money in the Bank, the briefcase will look far away too but he’ll follow the path to it and get his opportunity back.

Ali vs. Andrade

Post match Ali and Andrade double team Orton but it’s a pop up RKO to Ali (sweet) and an RKO out of the air to Andrade (not as sweet but still great).

We look back at Shane McMahon and Elias attacking Roman Reigns last night.

We get a long and really cool video on Reigns, starting back in 2010 in the Leakee days and moving into the Shield Era, followed by his singles success. Then he got sick again and had to go away, but now he’s back and wants another shot. This continues a trend: Reigns the person is awesome, but Reigns the character, not so much.

Here’s Shane McMahon to deal with the Tag Team Title situation (for some reason he made two entrances, with an unrelated IIconics promo in between). Before the announcement though, Shane promises to win the cage match at Money in the Bank and be deemed Best in the World again. As for the titles, there is a team that deserves the titles more than anyone else and here they are.

Cue Daniel Bryan and Rowan, which is quite the surprise move but something with some intelligence to it. Before they can claim the titles though, here are the Usos (#3 and #4 from Raw), who say Roman Reigns gave them permission to show up whenever they like. Oh and the Wild Card Rule of course. The Usos talk about all the teams that earned the titles, including Shane at one point. Now Shane is just going to hand them over to Spongebob and Patrick? They want the titles on the line right now and the match is on.

Actually hang on a second as we get a promo from Finn Balor. He’s in Ireland but thinking about winning Money in the Bank so he can be Finn Two Belts.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Daniel Bryan/Rowan

The titles are vacant coming in. Bryan works on Jey’s arm to start but it’s quickly off to Jimmy for a forearm in the corner. Rowan comes in for a hard slam and splash for two on Jimmy as the twins are in trouble for a change. We hit the double arm crank with Bryan stepping through and driving Jimmy’s head into the mat.

Rowan’s neck crank has Jimmy’s eyes bugging out and a running crossbody has the rest of him hurting as we take a break. Back with Bryan kicking away at Jimmy but missing the big kick. Jey comes in off the blind tag and superkicks Bryan for two but the LeBell Lock has him in trouble. The hold is broken up with a roll out though and another superkick drops Bryan again.

Everything breaks down and the Usos double superkick Rowan down, followed by a suicide dive to Bryan. The Superfly Splash gets two on Rowan in a good near fall. The Double Us is broken up so the Usos settle for double suicide dives….which are caught by Rowan. That means a running knee to Jimmy and a throw into the barricade to Jey. Back in and a pair of superkicks rock Rowan and Bryan, but Rowan is fine enough to hit the claw slam for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff with the Usos being their usual awesome selves and Bryan adding the star power. Rowan was very good with the power game as well and giving him the pin was a surprise. It was smart to give Rowan the fall here as Bryan is clearly going to be the star of the team, but giving Rowan something of his own is a good idea.

Post match Shane is rather pleased. So are they his lackeys now?

We look at last night’s Firefly Fun House. I have a bad feeling about the reaction to kids being shown in such a state.

Back from a break and Shane is still here, now with the Money in the Bank briefcases next to him. He has an announcement to make about the ladder matches but here’s Miz through the crowd (#5 from Raw, though it wouldn’t surprise me if they said Miz was unauthorized) for the beatdown. The B Team makes the save though and Shane gets in a chair shot to leave Miz laying. Thankfully the announcers brought up the B Team formerly being the Miztourage.

Rowan and Bryan are in the back when they run into Heavy Machinery, who congratulate the new champs and stare at the titles.

Ember Moon/Carmella vs. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose

Carmella hits a very spinning headscissors on Sonya to start but a Mandy distraction lets Sonya get in a spear for two. Moon comes in and snaps off her kicks as everything breaks down. An enziguri sends Sonya to the floor for a suicide dive but Mandy is right back with the lifting sitout Pedigree to finish Moon at 2:19.

Post match here are Paige, Asuka and Kairi Sane. Paige says they’ll be facing Sonya and Mandy next week. I still have no idea why Asuka and Kairi need Paige.

Aleister Black talks about dealing with the sins of the father and the mother. They left marks on you, along with the marks you leave on yourselves. He is your absolution and salvation, but he needs to apologize to his opponents for his need to prevail at their expense.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn

Kofi is defending and the fans tell Sami to take a shower. Sami gets knocked down to start and it’s an early middle rope Vader Bomb for two. AJ hits a gutbuster on Kofi and chops at Sami in the corner but Kofi is back with a rollup for two. With AJ staggered, Kofi goes up for the top rope splash to the back and the referee makes sure to check on him. A pair of clotheslines drop Sami and Kofi adds his jumping chop to Styles. There’s the Boom Drop to keep Styles down but Sami breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

We take a break and come back with Kofi chopping his way up but getting powerbombed by Sami. AJ comes back in and hammers on Sami in the corner until a rake to the face slows him down. The tornado DDT gives Sami two of his own and a heck of a top rope superplex gets the same on the champ. AJ catches Sami on top with a hurricanrana and a fireman’s carry backbreaker drops Kofi again. The moonsault DDT looks to drop Sami but Kofi grabs the SOS on AJ, who reverse DDTs Sami at the same time in a cool spot.

Rating: B. This was a bit longer than it needed to be but they had me on a few of those near falls from the Blue Thunder Bomb (all the more impressive given how rarely that gets a pin). Kofi is getting some collateral out of these wins and that’s a good idea for someone who isn’t considered the strongest champion in the first place. Good stuff here, and Kofi vs. Owens is getting a little stronger.

Post match Kofi promises to retain the title at Money in the Bank because Owens isn’t in his head.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s very clear that they have no idea what they’re doing long term right now but at least we got a far better show after a few weeks of horrible. Hot shotting title matches isn’t going to work forever either, though something as simple as announcing them in advance is out of the question.

The Wild Card Rule is still a mess and little more than a bridge to the end of the Brand Split but for now I can at least have some fun mocking WWE for not being able to count. It would be nice if they had something more than a bunch of one off shows, but we’re not quite there yet. I’ll take the good where I can get it though and this was better than what we’ve been getting lately.

Results

Ali b. Andrade via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Daniel Bryan/Rowan b. Usos – Claw slam to Jey

Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville b. Ember Moon/Carmella – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Moon

Kofi Kingston b. Sami Zayn and AJ Styles – Trouble in Paradise to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2004
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally into December and things have been a near nightmare around here as of late. With a combination of the Tough Enough stuff taking over the show and very limited wrestling, I’m not sure what is supposed to make me want to keep watching the thing. That has never stopped WWE before though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

JBL and the Cabinet (complete with the Bashams being named the Co-Secretaries of Defense) arrive late with Theodore Long not being happy. Tonight the Bashams can face Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero while JBL and Orlando Jordan can face the Undertaker. Two matches made in less than two minutes. Not too shabby.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/Torrie Wilson vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree/Hiroko

Fallout from last week’s brawl which started over Kenzo oogling Torrie. Hiroko shoves Torrie before the bell and strikes the Crane Kick pose because we need more stereotypes in this one. Rob and Rene start things off but hang on as Dupree needs to bow to Suzuki first. We get what looks like one of the same sequences Van Dam used to do with Jerry Lynn until Rene is sent to the floor.

That leaves the women to come in and roll over Kenzo, who likes it so much that he swivels his hips. Rey loads up a 619 on Hiroko but walks into a spinebuster, followed by the French Tickler. Rey is back up and plants Rene, setting up a Five Star from Van Dam so Rey can grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was other than stretching us out for another week before we get to what should be a layup of a title change at the pay per view. The match was barely a thing and focused way too much on the stupid Kenzo angle. He hasn’t been interesting since he debuted and that isn’t going to change with having a thing for Torrie.

After that waste of time, here are the Tough Enough guys for their weekly shindig. Ryan Reeves isn’t quitting due to his broken ribs so let’s look at who each person wants voted off.

Mizanin wants Puder gone because he’s a suckup and hasn’t actually fought in the UFC.

Reeves wants Puder gone for not wanting to be a wrestler and only being here to get himself over in MMA.

Smith wants Puder gone for being too overconfident.

Puder wants Smith off because he’s been on other shows before and doesn’t want to be a wrestler.

Ryan Reeves is voted off. That leaves us with three, and next week another will be voted off. The remaining two will box at Armageddon, but there’s another competition tonight. This week: they get to dress like women.

Hiroko doesn’t like Kenzo wanting Torrie and since her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, she wants Torrie in a bra and panties match next week.

Charlie Haas vs. Jesus

Before the bell, Carlito gets in the ring and says he doesn’t like Charlie hogging up the women like Jackie and Dawn Marie. Carlito hits on Jackie and puts his hand on her shoulder so Charlie grabs him, meaning it’s a beatdown from Jesus. Haas gets posted and chained in the chest. No match.

Post match Long yells at Carlito and Jesus, the latter of whom gets to have a street fight against John Cena at Armageddon.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool stretches with Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. She feels some negative energy though and the tensions seem ready to boil over. They argue over losing title shots but Michelle calms them down before their tag match later. At least she has a few perks.

Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

JBL is out for commentary with Jordan at his side. After a quick argument over who gets to start, Booker knocks Doug into the corner and stomps him down. A running clothesline puts Doug on the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie leg lariating Danny into the corner for some stomping of his own.

Some double teaming lets the Bashams take over so Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to get himself out of trouble. Eddie feeds Doug into a side kick from Booker for two but the referee yells at Eddie, allowing the Bashams to take over again. We cut over to JBL ranting about how awesome of an athlete he is as the Bashams take turns on Booker.

The flapjack plants Doug and Eddie comes in as JBL threatens lawsuits over commentary criticizing him. Everything breaks down and Eddie low bridges Doug but sends Booker to the floor at the same time by mistake. The argument is on and Danny knocks Eddie into Booker from behind. We’ll get to the explosion later, but for now it’s a rollup with ropes to give Danny the pin.

Rating: C. The Bashams have had one match as part of the Cabinet and they’re already about 18485% better than Jordan. They look better, they’re actually effective in the ring and they didn’t need three chinlocks to get them through a nine minute match. This was all it needed to be and Eddie vs. Booker could be good once we’re done with the pay per view.

Post match JBL Clotheslines Eddie and Booker.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Sebastian McCauley

Angle Slam and ankle lock in less than a minute.

Post match Angle has Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns join him in the ring because he wants to make something right. Now he wants Joy Giovanni in the ring because she was embarrassed last week. Reigns apologizes for last week with the Thanksgiving meal because he got carried away. As an apology, he offers her dinner tonight, his treat of course.

Joy accepts the apology but says she already has dinner plans with Big Show. Angle thinks that’s insulting to the three of them so Reigns gets more aggressive in asking about that dinner. Cue Big Show for the save and a challenge to fight all three of them at once but the bad guys bail.

We look back at last week’s Christmas in Iraq.

And now, the Tough Enough contestants in drag. Mizanin is in a Metallica shirt, Daisy Duke shorts and has a six pack of Miller Lite. As a bonus, he even does the slow lean into the ring ala Stacy Keibler. The other two are just guys in drag with little effort. Cue Hardcore Holly (Cole: “If anyone was homophobic, it would be Hardcore Holly.”) to say these are some ugly women.

They each have thirty seconds to prove that Holly is the object of their affections, which is too far for Holly. Snow: “Are you saying you’re not tough enough?”

Holly actually stays and Michelle Mizanin (just go with it) asks if he likes whips and chains. He leans over and asks if Hardcore can smack that and thankfully the time is up.

Justina Smith talks about speaking with Hardcore’s mama, who says he likes lobsters. For a present, he pulls out a bottle of “crunk juice”….and a live lobster. Snow: “GIVE ME THE MIC!”

Daniella Puder has a Puder Bear and admires the way Holly fills out his trunks.

Mizanin wins, ending one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as a wrestling fan. Thankfully Holly punches Snow out for putting him through all this.

Armageddon rundown.

Here’s Dawn Marie to say that her sexy Santa outfit is better than Jackie’s earlier tonight. Jackie runs out and the brawl is on. Long comes out and makes a match between the two of them at Armageddon with Haas as guest referee.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

The Bashams are banned from ringside but Amy Weber is given a chair. Jordan starts for the team as JBL chills on the floor, looking rather terrified. The threat of a right hand sends JBL bailing off the apron but Jordan’s kick to the face just annoys Undertaker again. A trip to the floor lets Undertaker beat up Jordan some more, followed by a Downward Spiral for two back inside.

JBL makes the save and gets Snake Eyes into a big boot and the bad guys are sent outside in a heap to end us to a break. Back with Undertaker hitting a side slam for two on Jordan with JBL making another save. The apron legdrop crushes JBL and the jumping clothesline drops Jordan. The Last Ride is broken up with a big boot so JBL is willing to come in, allowing Undertaker to grab a legbar. Jordan stomps away, making Cole think he could be champion one day. Thankfully a DDT cuts off that nonsense and it’s time for the double chokeslam, drawing a low blow from JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s only because it wasn’t as bad as the first match. This feud has been a disaster and this match didn’t do it any favors with a long, boring beatdown from Undertaker until HAHA LOW BLOW for the finish. You really can’t have Jordan take a chokeslam for the pin? His whole job is to take a beating and that can’t be the finish?

Post match Undertaker comes back and beats them up some more until the Bashams come in. The big beatdown leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The Basham Brothers were the best thing about this show. The build to Armageddon is almost entirely based on the four way and the Tag Team Titles, meaning Kenzo and Dupree are one four of the pay per view build. Other than that, you have Angle vs. Show, which is fine but something we just recently covered. Dawn vs. Jackie is good for eye candy but I need something with a little more substance. The less said about Tough Enough the better.

Right now Smackdown feels like a classroom where the teacher put a movie on and hoped for the best. It might keep a few people quiet, but there is nothing for the majority of the people there. I’m sure it’s going to get better when the Rumble season starts, but until then we’re stuck with this no effort show and it’s making me long for the days of Maven being a focal point of Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 30, 2019
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Things are starting to come back together around here as we have the first challenger to Kofi Kingston’s Smackdown World Title. Last week Kevin Owens turned on Kingston in a not very surprising yet still well done moment. The match will likely be announced tonight, as will the Money in the Bank participants. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Michael Cole brings Kofi Kingston to the ring to start things off. We look at Kofi’s performance in the Elimination Chamber and the second gauntlet match. Kofi talks about how none of this happens without Big E. and Xavier Woods because they proved that the impossible is possible. Cole calls the win over Daniel Bryan maybe the greatest Wrestlemania moment ever (uh, hang on a second now) and we see a clip of the title win.

Kofi calls it the greatest moment of his life, next to the birth of his children and his wedding day. With that comes people gunning for him though, which leads us to a clip of Kevin Owens attacking him last week. Kofi agrees that he probably should have seen this coming but the New Day believes in letting people change if they want to. At the end of the day though, Kevin Owens is going to be Kevin Owens.

If Owens wanted a title shot, all he had to do is ask. Last week, Kevin said he was coming for the title so let him come, say at Money in the Bank. This brings out Owens, who says challenge accepted. Owens talks about how the moment from Wrestlemania is fleeting and everyone knows Kofi isn’t championship material. Cue Woods to jump Owens from behind but Owens superkicks him down, leaving Kofi to chase him off.

Post break, Kofi talks to Woods, saying that Woods has a family to think about and can’t get hurt like this. Kofi appreciates everything but he has this.

Becky Lynch vs. Bayley

Non-title, though Bayley is now in Money in the Bank. Feeling out process to start and an exchange of knockdowns takes us to a break. Back with Bayley blocking the jumping kick to the head and hitting a running knee to the head for two. That’s shrugged off though as Bayley runs into an elbow and walks into a missile dropkick to give Becky two of her own. A double clothesline knocks them both down again but it’s Bayley up with a belly to back suplex. The top rope elbow hits knees though and Becky Disarms-Her for the tap at 8:30.

Rating: C-. Why yes, it is dumb to put Bayley into a prominent role at Money in the Bank and then have her lose clean to the champion that she is looking to challenge later on here. This could have been any woman on the roster or just some jobber, but instead we get Bayley losing because WWE wants to talk about building momentum in matches between Money in the Bank participants but here it means nothing.

Post match Charlotte runs in to kick Becky in the face and send her into the post. Phillips: “At Money in the Bank, Becky Lynch must do the impossible.” What’s impossible about it? Winning twice in one night? AJ Styles did it last week. Choose your words better there people.

Aleister Black talks about people trying to conquer their fear against him, until the referee counts 1-2-3 in his favor. Looking into the abyss behind his eyes unveils a truth about themselves, which allows them to fade to Black.

Here are the Hardys, including the injured Jeff, to address the future of the Tag Team Titles. Jeff is asked what happened and says it’s easier to show us. We see a clip of Lars Sullivan attacking him, which is going to put him on the shelf for a long time. Therefore, the titles are officially vacated. Cue Lars Sullivan to take out both Hardys so here’s R-Truth to hit Lars in the back with a chair. That has no effect and Lars punches the chair out of Truth’s hands, setting up a Freak Accident and running powerbomb.

Side note: THANK YOU WWE for putting the heat for the injury on Sullivan instead of saying it was some mistake that was no one’s fault. For whatever reason they almost never want to put the injury on someone else and let them get something out of it when it’s handed to them on a silver platter. Thank you for finally taking the story that is presented to you with no effort.

Here are the four Smackdown men’s Money in the Bank participants. That would be Ali, Finn Balor, Andrade and Randy Orton. No in-ring segment, no matches made as a result and no wastes of time. They just put each one up on a graphic and it took about a minute.

Ok so there’s a tag match later tonight but at least they didn’t badly transition into it.

Kairi Sane/Asuka vs. ???/???

The IIconics are on commentary and Paige is here with Sane and Asuka. Sane dragon screw legwhips the taller jobber down and it’s time for some alternating kicks. The other jobber comes in and gets German suplexed, setting up the big kick to the head. Everything breaks down and it’s a Codebreaker into a running Blockbuster onto the tall one. A reverse DDT sets up the Insane elbow to give Sane the pin at 2:09.

Mandy Rose tells Sonya Deville that one of them can be in the Money in the Bank match. They both agree that the other should be in and hug.

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He talks about how you only get one shot at a first impression so he knocked out Mr. McMahon on his first night here. It could have been anyone though because he wanted to show that he is still the Big Dog. This brings out Shane McMahon, because he needs to be in TWO big stories at once. Roman may be the Big Dog, but the McMahon Family owns the land. Roman: “No. Your daddy owns the land.”

The last time Vince was in the ring, he was on his back and Reigns was on his feet. Shane says last week it was Reigns laying on his back after Elias knocked him out. Reigns invites him to come try to make that happen again but Shane needs to go to the University of Michigan and work with a real team to get in shape for his match at Money in the Bank. There are a bunch of people who want to face Reigns though and here are two of them. This brings out the B Team for a handicap match, which Reigns dubs “how original”. We’ll even throw in a guest referee in the form of Elias.

Roman Reigns vs. B Team

Elias is on the floor. Reigns powers out of Dallas’ headlock but gets punched into the corner by Axel. Reigns fights out of the corner without much effort though and gets two off the Samoan drop. A quick Elias distraction lets Axel get in a clothesline though and we take a quick break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a clothesline on Dallas. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/DDT combination plants the B Team. The Superman Punch hits Axel for two with Elias pulling the regular referee out at two. Elias takes over as referee and the PerfectPlex gives Axel two of his own. The guitar is brought in but it’s a Superman Punch to Elias and a spear finishes Axel at 10:47.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t exactly the most surprising result and that’s not the best way in the world to go when Elias isn’t going to be bought as a serious threat to Reigns at Money in the Bank anyway. Reigns overcoming the odds is fine, but if the odds don’t make him an underdog in the first place, what is he overcoming?

We get last night’s Firefly Fun House, which was even more disturbing than the first one.

Andrade/Randy Orton vs. Finn Balor/Ali

On their way to the ring, Andrade and Zelina Vega promise to make everyone respect Andrade at Money in the Bank. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent outside as we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Ali hitting a dropkick on Orton and a double tag bringing in Balor and Andrade.

A kick to the head knocks Andrade off the top and out to the floor, setting up dives from Balor and Ali for a good visual. Back in and Ali pulls Balor off the top, setting up the running knees in the corner for two. The hammerlock DDT is countered and Ali tags himself in. The Sling Blade sets up Ali’s 450 for the pin on Andrade at 7:06.

Rating: C-. This had some entertaining moments but did they need to have Andrade lose the fall here? You have one of the biggest stars of the era who can lose every match for the rest of his career and still be a legend, but for some reason they have Andrade lose here instead. I’m sure it doesn’t matter though, or at least what WWE tells us.

Post match Orton hits an RKO on Balor but Ali makes the save.

The final two women in the Money in the Bank match are Ember Moon and Carmella. Ember is happy to have her chance but Carmella comes in to say it’s her briefcase.

The graphic confirms that Mandy gets the nod instead of Sonya.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, but there is now no set with just a pair of chairs. Owens points out the lack of a set but it’s ok because he is the show. At Money in the Bank, he will take away the burden of being WWE Champion from Kofi Kingston because it belongs to him. That brings us to his guest, but there is no Xavier Woods.

Owens expected this to be the case, so he brings out a Xavier action figure. It was part of a pack though so there is also a Big E. figure, complete with a cast around his leg. Owens puts them in the chair and then kicks it over. He knows what is in their mind and heart….but here’s Kofi for the brawl. Kingston throws him over the announcers’ table but gets raked in the eyes, allowing Owens to bail to end the show. Good final segment with Kofi bringing out the fire again.

Overall Rating: C-. I know the rating isn’t that far from that of last night’s show but my goodness this show is so much easier to watch. The lack of an extra hour really is the big difference as it didn’t feel like anything was stretching out to fill in the time. The wrestling wasn’t great but the Kofi vs. Owens story is better than it was before, meaning I want to see the title match more than I did before. Throw in the MITB participants being announced in about five minutes combined with a single seven minute match instead of two sitdown segments and a pair of matches and it’s easy to see why this was so much easier.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Bayley – Disarm-Her

Asuka/Kairi Sane b. ???/??? – Insane elbow

Roman Reigns b. B Team – Spear to Axel

Ali/Finn Balor b. Randy Orton/Andrade – 450 to Andrade

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 25, 2004
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and that means we’re likely in for a heavily themed show. That’s rarely a good idea around here as WWE doesn’t have the best track record with these things. That being said, there are worse things they could do, like focus on Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon narrates a video thanking the troops.

Opening sequence.

Joy Giovanni is setting the Thanksgiving table and happens to be leaning over quite a bit.

Here’s Torrie Wilson, tonight’s ring announcer, to wish us a happy Thanksgiving and hopes we saved room for dessert: Smackdown. With that bad line out of the way, she introduces the first match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree

Kenzo Suzuki and Rob Van Dam are barred from ringside. Dupree has a black eye coming in and the announcers try to figure where it came from. Maybe a match perhaps? Rey starts fast with the top rope wristdrag but the springboard crossbody is dropkicked out of the air. A guillotine legdrop misses, which is far better than jumping straight down with nothing in mind. Rey’s sitout bulldog gets two more but the 619 attempt is sidestepped for a crash to the floor. Rene’s bad luck continues with a posting and the springboard seated senton gets two. Now the 619 can connect, setting up the springboard legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as generic of a match as you can get with both guys doing their regular stuff and getting out of there in a few minutes. You’re only going to get so much out of a match like this but since there are almost no other teams on the show, this is about all you can expect for a build towards the title match. They might as well bring out Van Dam and Suzuki for their match now.

In the back, Hiroko explains Thanksgiving to Kenzo Suzuki, who is too busy fawning over Torrie. Hiroko gets the point and leaves in a huff.

We recap last week’s Tough Enough competition.

Here are Al Snow and the Tough Enough competitors for this week’s shenanigans. Ryan Reeves has two broken ribs but he isn’t quitting. This week’s elimination: Daniel Rodimer, who would bounce around developmental for a long time as a Stephanie McMahon project that never worked out. Tonight it’s arm wrestling with Mizanin having to compete right handed to make it even less fair. Puder beats Mizanin in about a second and Reeves beats Smith, albeit with some more effort. After Smith and Mizanin give their predictions, Puder actually beats Reeves without much trouble.

Eddie and Booker T. are ready for their tag match tonight against JBL and Orlando Jordan. Amy Weber comes in and offers her services as an image consultant, which manages to drive a wedge between them over who will be winning the upcoming title match. Booker talks about Eddie already getting his rematch but Eddie explains why those weren’t fair. Eddie talks about Booker being a five time WCW World Champion and it turns into an argument over family. Amy breaks it up by saying they’re forgetting about Undertaker. Eddie says he doesn’t forget anything and leaves angry.

As we transition to the announcers, we get a CGI version of JBL’s entrance….with JBL as a turkey in the limo. These have been going on throughout the night and they’re as bizarre as they sound.

We recap John Cena winning the US Title from Carlito last week and getting attacked by Jesus after. His kidney is messed up pretty badly.

Carlito and Jesus brag about the injury with Carlito saying Jesus took care of Cena. They still have the chain that injured the kidney last week, which was like a drive by. Jesus says he showed Cena what it was like to be from the streets and if Cena ever comes back, he’ll do it again anywhere Cena wants. Carlito spits apple at the camera.

Rey and RVD alternate between Spanish and English about Rob vs. Suzuki.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Rey and Rene are barred this time. Rob starts fast with the kicks to the face but gets crotched on top to cut off the momentum. A running clothesline gives Kenzo two as the announcers talk about Japanese Thanksgiving. Kenzo drops a running knee, which Cole describes as “well that was a knee to the nose”, because he’s good at explaining the obvious. Rob fights up with a kick to the face, followed by a springboard kick to the face for good measure. Rolling Thunder connects to set up the Five Star but Hiroko gets in the way. She also hands over her sash, which Kenzo uses to choke Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: D. So the solution to the boring Tag Team Champions is to have them wrestle two bad matches. They can’t drop the titles soon enough as this has been a terrible reign between two guys who couldn’t get a strong reaction if their lives depended on it. Kenzo going after Torrie isn’t going to work either, though at least it seems that they’re moving towards the team dropping the title.

Post match Hiroko goes after Torrie to set up a catfight with Kenzo breaking it up and gyrating in front of Torrie. Rob kicks him in the face.

Joy has put all the food in the ring with Josh Matthews hosting Big Show’s Thanksgiving. Show is happy to celebrate his favorite holiday and says he’s glad to celebrate with the greatest announce team of all time. Well he would if this was Monday and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were here. Show plugs the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD before asking Tazz not to have a flashback and suplex him through the pumpkin pie. Fans: “ECW! ECW!” Show: “You should buy the DVD!”

Show talks about eating a bunch of food when he was a kid, to the point where his dad put a lock on the refrigerator. Then one Thanksgiving his sister brought her boyfriend over. That wasn’t working for Show, so he waited until no one was looking, knocked him out with a turkey, tied him up and threw him into the neighbor’s yard. He told the sister that the boyfriend went home so she went after him, meaning more food for Show.

Now it’s on to all the food he liked to eat, including the cranberry sauce that better be shaped like a can. He calls Cole, Tazz, Tony Chimmel and the production staff to the ring to eat because it’s time to share the wealth. Everyone goes to eat but here’s Luther Reigns to interrupt. Reigns talks about never having a Thanksgiving because he was always in prison.

These people talk about not having enough to eat but he spent his time trying to stay alive. Reigns gets in the ring and makes Joy put him some food together, earning herself a pie to the face. Show sends him into the food and Reigns bails, leaving everyone else to get in a food fight. Joy pies Show to make things even.

I remember watching this live and the same thing stood out to me nearly fifteen years ago: Show sounded natural. This wasn’t scripted and was pretty obviously him being told “go talk about Thanksgiving for a few minutes.” Show is a good talker so it’s not like there was any danger there. Why that isn’t done today is one of the great mysteries of modern WWE.

The announcers are covered in food.

Here’s Kurt Angle, with armed security, for a chat. Angle is thankful for this holiday but not as thankful as the fans are for him starting the Kurt Angle Invitational. The security holds up the Gold Medal and tonight it’s time for someone else to get a shot at it.

Kurt Angle vs. Cody Steele

The fans chant what sounds like LIAR when Cody says he’s from Rochester. Angle even volunteers to drop down to all fours so Cody can have an early advantage. The reversal takes all of five seconds and Angle hits him in the face. That means a breather for Steele, who agrees to go down as well because he doesn’t seem that bright. Of course Angle kicks him in the face and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the fast tap.

Angle gets in a little more ankle cranking for a bonus.

The remaining Tough Enough participants get twenty seconds each to tell us what they’re thankful for.

Mizanin is glad to be here, for the Mizfits who vote for him and for not being Daniel Puder.

Reeves is thankful for food and family. He does a survey asking who the people are here to see and Snow has to take the mic away from him for taking too long.

Smith thanks God, friends, family and the fans.

Puder says just about the same thing as Smith while promising to win. His three favorite words are Snap Crackle and Pop and he’ll show us what that means soon.

We look back at Heidenreich breaking down last week.

Paul Heyman talks about Heidenreich being under round the clock supervision and on medication. He knows a different side of Heidenreich, who is a very sensitive man. Heyman actually bows his head in prayer for him. I’ll give WWE this: they’re trying everything they can with Heidenreich, even if he’s that terrible.

Jackie Gayda and Michelle McCool are stretching for obvious reasons when Charlie Haas comes in. Michelle leaves and Charlie likes Jackie’s pilgrim outfit. Jackie is ready to rip Dawn Marie’s costume off and then her head is coming with it. That makes Charlie happy and he doesn’t like the rumors of him cheating on her with Dawn Marie. Kissing ensues. That’s better than Charlie talking again.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Indian vs. Pilgrim. Catfight, referee shoved, done in thirty seconds.

Post match Charlie tries to break it up and pulls Dawn off. It says a lot when a story about two gorgeous women fighting in small outfits is this uninteresting.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

JBL and Eddie start by throwing the towel at each other until Eddie snaps off some armdrags. Booker comes in and side slams Jordan for two because Jordan is really not very good. A JBL cheap shot from the apron lets Jordan take Booker down and we hit the chinlock. It’s back to JBL for an elbow to the face and some elbow drops get two.

Jordan grabs another chinlock as Cole thinks the fans are split on who they want as champion. As long as it’s not JBL that is. Booker gets up pretty easily and makes the hot tag off to Eddie so house can be cleaned. Three Amigos keep JBL in trouble and everything breaks down. JBL powerbombs Eddie out of the corner and boots Booker in the face.

Booker pops up for the ax kick but a fan in a Rey Mysterio mask decks Booker in the jaw. There’s something hilarious about the smartened up security guard sitting there with his arms crossed as a fake fan attacks a wrestler. So much for suspension of disbelief. It’s Danny Basham, followed by another “fan” (Cole: “Now who could this be?” I’m guessing the other fan helping Danny Basham is…..Funaki probably.) shoving Eddie off the top. That would be Doug Basham, who smiles as the Clothesline From JBL finishes Eddie.

Rating: D. Believe it or not, Jordan was in fact able to bring down a pair of Hall of Famers and JBL, who should be in there too. There’s no way to believe that he’s a threat to these two and yet he’s in there week after week for reasons I still don’t understand. It’s another bad match to close out the show, which really doesn’t surprise me.

Post match Undertaker comes out to crush JBL, leaving the Bashams as an afterthought to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve had to say this a lot lately but I feel so sorry for the fans who bought tickets to this. Quick matches from the Tag Team Title feud, an Angle squash, a thirty second match between Dawn and Jackie, a food fight and a thirty second long arm wrestling tournament from people fighting for a chance to train in developmental. Then their big main event: an Orlando Jordan match. If I paid money for this show, I wouldn’t be coming back and that’s been the case for a few weeks now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6