IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 23, 2018
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Evolution and one of the last shows before Crown Jewel, which may or may not still take place in Saudi Arabia. The big match this week is a rematch of last week’s 1000^th episode as AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan team up to face the Usos. Other than that, expect a lot of not saying where next week’s show will be taking place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s New Day to open things up, with Big E. saying “don’t you dare be shower.” I guess Newark is a bathtub town. New Day talks about losing their Tag Team Titles and that lowered the bar. What Kofi doesn’t get is the Big Show involvement though. He helped them, so is he the Bar tender? Big Show has flipped more times than a flapjack so tonight Kofi wants some payback. Well here we go.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

Show and Cesaro are at ringside too….and hang on a second as we have a change of pace.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro

Or not again.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show

Show throws him around to start and hits a trio of chokeslams. The fourth is loaded up but New Day and the Bar come in for the no contest at 1:30.

Post match New Day gets wrecked with a chokeslam to Big E. and a KO to Woods.

We see the Roman Reigns announcement from last night.

The fans give him a THANK YOU ROMAN chant.

Usos vs. AJ Styles/Daniel Bryan

Rematch from last week. Bryan headlocks Jimmy to start but a blind tag brings in Jey, who is clotheslined to the floor. AJ knocks Jimmy out and there are the stereo dives to drop the Usos again. Back from a break with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock until they both hit crossbodies for a double knockdown. The hot tag brings in AJ and everything breaks down. Jey gets caught in the Calf Crusher but Jimmy makes a save. The Phenomenal Forearm almost hits Bryan but AJ pulls up at the last second. Instead though, the Pele hits Bryan, allowing Jey to hit a superkick into the Superfly Splash to finish AJ at 7:46.

Rating: C. I’m liking the story they have here and it’s about as good of an idea as you can have to set up the title match in Saudi Arabia. They don’t have anything personal between them so building something up makes as much sense as anything else. Also, it’s not like they’re losing to some thrown together team as the Usos are one of the best and most successful teams of this era. Now just let us get something new for the Usos.

Video on the Bella Twins turning on Ronda Rousey.

Post break AJ says it was an accident but Bryan accuses his nose of growing. Eventually it turns into the Too Sweet sign.

On Saturday, Charlotte was giving a speech at the Performance Center, talking about respect. She talked about how she’s grown up in the last few months and being ready for the first Last Woman Standing match when Becky Lynch came in. Becky is the one they should really be listening to and the fight was on. The rookies break it up.

Backstage, Charlotte is near tears as she talks about Becky going over the line at the Performance Center. At Evolution, she’ll win the title back and be standing over both an opponent and a friend who lost her way.

Rusev vs. Aiden English

Aiden sings about how Lana could have had a long Aiden Night instead of a Rusev Day. The chase is on and Aiden is thrown into a variety of things. Back in and Aiden hits a swinging neckbreaker but stops to yell at Lana. That means a Machka Kick and the Accolade for the tap at 1:24.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. Miz talks about the World Cup and how he’s ready to become the best in the world. That brings him to his guest this week: the man who defeated Shinsuke Nakamura last week, Rey Mysterio. Miz accuses him of being stuck in the 90s because people are no longer interested in the plucky underdog. It’s all about the bigger stars like him, who has been here becoming a must see man while Mysterio has been on hiatus.

Miz will be winning the Smackdown bracket and then the rest of the tournament while Mysterio is disappointed. Mysterio already is disappointed because he was supposed to be on TruthTV. Miz talks about how that show was canceled but Mysterio wants to fight now. That earns him a cheap shot but Rey fights back and almost hits the 619.

The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Joined in progress with Rey speeding things up and running Miz over without much effort. A missed charge in the corner lets Miz get in a few shots of his own but he has to avoid the 619. Miz gets two off the short DDT and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the YES Kicks and taking Rey up for a super Skull Crushing Finale. That’s reversed into a super victory roll and the springboard seated senton has Miz in more trouble. The Reality Check gives Miz two but the Skull Crushing Finale is broken up. Rey hits a quick 619 into the springboard splash for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: C. Mysterio was looking better here and while I’m not interested at all in the World Cup, it’s nice to have the field be as stacked as it currently is. Let us see what these people can do when they’re given the chance, which will hopefully be in front of a crowd that actually cares this time around.

Asuka/Naomi vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville

Evolution rundown.

Here’s Shane McMahon for a chat about the World Cup. He applauds everyone at Evolution before moving on to the World Cup. On the words Best in the World, the CM Punk chants begin with Shane saying he’s not in the tournament. Shane thinks someone from Smackdown will win and we hear the entrants involved. With that said, it’s main event time. Were they running two minutes short or something?

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

This is billed as their first match in a month. Jeff kicks away to start but gets sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and a chinlock sets up one of the weakest chinlocks I can ever remember to keep Jeff down. Orton ties him in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the chest and the pulling of the ear, followed by a drop onto the announcers’ table.

Jeff fights up and hits the legdrop between the legs for two, followed by the Whisper in the Wind for the same. The Twisting Stunner connects but Orton rolls away before the Swanton. Instead Hardy misses one to the floor and gets brought back inside for the RKO to give Orton the pin at 8:48.

Rating: D+. I just can’t get into this whole World Cup thing. Maybe it’s the leftover feelings from how worthless the Greatest Royal Rumble was, but these things just feel so unimportant and so boring that it’s crippling any show it’s on. At least with Raw there’s the slightly amusing Angle vs. Corbin feud, but on here it’s just two guys having a match that isn’t likely to have anything to do with the tournament itself. That’s a very Money in the Bank style feeling and I could go without it.

Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t bad, but it was lifeless and that’s even worse. There’s no hiding the fact that Crown Jewel isn’t something people want to see and while the build for Evolution has been better, it’s still not exactly an interesting show. Hopefully once Crown Jewel is over, they cut out this promoting multiple shows at the same time nonsense. It hasn’t worked, but there’s a chance that it’s just trying to promote these specific shows more than anything else.

Results

Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show went to a no contest when New Day and the Bar interfered

Usos b. AJ Styles/Daniel Bryan – Superfly Splash to Styles

Rusev b. Aiden English – Accolade

Rey Mysterio b. The Miz – Springboard splash

Randy Orton b. Jeff Hardy – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2004
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, in what looks to be a card from the 1930s, though of course with hydraulics included. He’s also got a duffle bag for a bonus. The fans are very glad to see him and…..OH MY GOODNESS THAT’S THE CUT ON HIS HEAD!!! I thought that was his hair being out of place because that’s the longest cut I’ve ever seen on a wrestler. Or on almost anyone for that matter.

Eddie says he was hurt on Sunday but he’s feeling better now that he’s in Las Vegas. JBL may have taken his blood on Sunday but Eddie is still WWE Champion. He’s also got a souvenir in the bag and it’s JBL’s cowboy hat, which is covered in his blood. Since that’s his blood, Eddie figures it’s not his hat and he can do whatever he wants with it. Eddie even has a stock tip for JBL. He should invest in bandages because tonight, they’re having a fight and it’s JBL’s turn to bleed.

Cue JBL, who is bandaged up as well. JBL makes sure he has it clear: he can have another title match tonight? Eddie: “Did you get too much blood in your ear holmes?” JBL says no and brags about winning on Sunday, so fighting Eddie again tonight is an unnecessary gamble. He didn’t become a millionaire by gambling because that’s how lazy people look for a quick buck.

Instead, Eddie needs to come down the aisle and hand over that WWE Championship. Eddie says he’ll hand JBL a beating but here’s Kurt Angle to cut them off. Kurt: “Well it’s official. Everybody has lost their minds.” Eddie isn’t allowed to make matches around here and he’s certainly not getting a rematch with JBL because he just wants to get himself disqualified again. JBL isn’t getting the title either, but tonight we’ll have JBL and the Dudleys vs. Eddie, Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam in a six man tag.

Rico/Charlie Haas vs. FBI

Non-title and it’s Nunzio/Johnny Stamboli for the Italians. Rico is the hometown boy and Jackie is….well my goodness and we’ll leave it at that. Charlie and Johnny start things off and Rico offers a quick spank from the apron. Apparently not a fan, Johnny press slams him but gets rolled up for two instead. Rico comes in legally and takes Johnny down into an armbar, complete with a little wiggling. It’s off to Nunzio, who comes in and gets spanked for his efforts.

Rico does it again so Nunzio takes him down and rams Rico’s head into the mat a few times. The FBI manages to screw up their advantage as Johnny can’t hit a clothesline even while Nunzio has Rico’s foot. Instead it’s the hot tag to Charlie to start cleaning house. Jackie grabs Nunzio’s foot so he tries to kiss her but gets Rico instead. In his search for mouthwash, Nunzio gets German suplexed for the pin.

Rating: D. It takes a lot to have Rico and Charlie seem lifeless but the FBI pulled it off. This wasn’t interesting or fun and you can tell the team is starting to run out of gas. That being said, there was no reason to believe Rico and Haas were going to be around for very long so you can probably bet on them losing the titles soon. This was pretty bad, though maybe it was just the FBI.

Stills of Chavo Guerrero Jr. regaining the Cruiserweight Title.

Tonight, Chavo defends the Cruiserweight Title against Spike Dudley and his father. Chavo Classic says he might win but Chavo doesn’t want to hear it because this is his time. So tell me: why couldn’t Spike have done the exact same story that Jacqueline did? How is it that much different?

Billy Kidman vs. Akio

The bell rings but here’s Mordecai, with the full entrance, to wreck them both instead. Fair enough, as the match didn’t exactly sound thrilling.

JBL gets his head examined and tells the doctor to not believe anything Eddie tells him. Wouldn’t that likely be the same doctor who stitched Eddie up in the first place? Eh just give him a z-pak and he’ll be fine.

US Title: Rene Dupree vs. John Cena

Cena is defending in a rematch from Sunday where he beat Dupree. They lock up to start with Cena throwing him off and Rene isn’t sure what to do. A shoulder works a bit better for Dupree but Cena is right back up with a slam for two. Cena slaps on a rare chinlock before stereo crossbodies put both guys down.

Back from a break with Cena going shoulder first into the post and falling to the floor. Dupree starts in on the shoulder and takes him down by the arm for two. The Fujiwara armbar goes on and it’s a long crawl for Cena to make the ropes. A regular armbar keeps the arm in trouble but Cena fights up with some backdrops.

Cena uses the good arm to pound away at Dupree’s face and they fight to the floor. Dupree can’t powerbomb him on the floor so Cena hits another backdrop and heads back inside. They go back out almost immediately (pick something already) and Dupree grabs the French flag. Cena takes it away and breaks it over his knee but Dupree kicks him low and wins via countout.

Rating: D+. It was worse than their pay per view match and that’s not a good sign given the extra time. There wasn’t the same level of efforts here and that showed badly this time around. I’m still not sure how many people buy Dupree as a challenger to the title but it’s not like Cena has anyone else to fight. I mean, Booker T. is busy jobbing to Undertaker, so who else is there already on that level?

Post match Dupree lays him out again and busts out the French Tickler, which is a great name for such an obnoxious dance.

We see/hear the chair shot to Eddie’s head on Sunday. Thankfully we don’t see the crazy gory blade job up close again.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chavo Classic vs. Spike Dudley

Chavo Jr. is defending. Spike gets double teamed to start, which even the announcers knew was coming. Classic gets sent outside though and Spike stomps away in the corner. The double teaming picks up again though until Jr. is fine enough to look at the crowd while his dad does the work. Classic tries a rollup on Spike for two but Jr. misses a splash in the corner. A high crossbody takes down both Guerreros and there’s the Dudley Dog to Jr. Classic comes back in and collides with Spike though, only to call on Jr. to win the title.

Rating: D. Nothing match of course and the “shock value” of the ending doesn’t exactly earn them a lot of points. The title takes another hit here as it goes into its fourth reign in two weeks, all in the name of “comedy”. It would have been easier to accept this without the Jacqueline reign but two joke wins in two weeks is too much to take.

Jr. is rightfully furious at his dad, who is too busy celebrating.

Raw ReBound of another good show.

Funaki interviews Booker T., who doesn’t want to hear this nonsense about being afraid of Undertaker. See, Undertaker cheated at Judgment Day because Paul Bearer must have switched the magic bag. Since Undertaker isn’t here tonight, Booker can have any match he wants. Maybe the WWE Title? Or the US Title? Nah he’ll beat up Funaki instead, so Funaki punches him and runs off.

Booker T. vs. Funaki

Booker pounds away to start so Funaki dropkicks the knee out to set up a bulldog. That just earns him a superkick as Booker isn’t having any of this tonight. The fans chant for Undertaker as Booker scores with a side slam, only to run into a boot in the corner. Another shot to the face busts Funaki’s nose open and we hit the chinlock. Booker gets bored with that and finishes with the ax kick.

Rating: D-. Was there any reason for this match to go on this long? The match was pretty much a squash and went on for the better part of five minutes. I mean….it’s Funaki, who is barely even a wrestler anymore. It also doesn’t help that Booker looks bored out of his mind at the moment, but if this is the best they have for him, is it that surprising?

Next week: Cena vs. Dupree for the title in a lumberjack match.

JBL has attacked Eddie, who is unconscious.

Kenzo Suzuki is still coming.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Dudley Boyz vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam

There’s no Eddie to start, likely because he’s still recovering from losing that much blood. Here’s Angle to say Eddie can’t wrestle and since Angle can win a gold medal with a BROKEN FREAKIN NECK, Eddie can join in on the match when he gets up from his siesta. D-Von and Rey start but Bubba comes in and jumps him from behind, which is the same as a tag it seems.

JBL comes in and stomps away but Rey kicks at the legs and then the face to build some momentum. The sitout bulldog drops D-Von and it’s off to D-Von, who gets taken down by a JBL neck snap across the ropes. Some swinging neckbreakers keep Rob in trouble as the fans think Bradshaw sucks. The slow paced beatdown continues with JBL hitting a shoulder and elbow drop for two. Rob gets in a springboard kick to the face and there’s the hot tag to Rey.

A headscissors into a dropkick lets Rey Drop the Dime for two as everything breaks down. Van Dam flip dives onto both Dudleys and Rey hurricanranas JBL into the 619. The Five Star connects but Ray pulls Mysterio out as we take a break. Back with Mysterio in trouble thanks to a 3D on the floor to Van Dam. Rey hits a springboard into a reverse DDT but Bubba goes over to Rey’s corner in a clever idea.

D-Von hits a delayed vertical suplex (he’s stronger than you might think) and it’s back to JBL for more of that great offense. The abdominal stretch goes on but here’s Eddie, who can barely walk down the aisle. Eddie is so livid that he stands on the apron while JBL is smart enough to not let go of the hold. Of all people, JBL is smart enough to figure that out?

Rey gets in a dropkick but Bubba isn’t about to allow the hot tag. A little too much trash talk allows Rey to get his feet up in the corner and there’s the tag to Eddie. Right hands and Three Amigos have the Dudleys down but Eddie collapses. His eyes are open as everyone stops doing anything, so JBL again gets smart by stealing the pin.

Rating: C+. Well we certainly know the power of the 3D on the floor as Van Dam disappeared after taking it. The ending was fine enough as Eddie keeps fighting but is trying to do too much and collapsing under the pressure as his body gives out. The others are just kind of there, as you could put the titles on the Dudleys but who are supposed to challenge them? The lack of star power is killing this show and it’s becoming more obvious every week.

Medics check on Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event was ok but my goodness the rest of the show is such a disaster. The wrestling is uninspired, the stories aren’t interesting and the new stars aren’t exactly clicking (What does it say when Rene Dupree is one of the top prospects?). It’s just a dark time for the show and it seems to be getting even worse as the weeks go by. Eddie is doing as much as he can to carry this show on his back and it’s clearly not working. That’s not on Eddie, who can only do so much with so little around him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown 1000
Date: October 16, 2018
Location: Capital One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

This is a milestone show as we’re hitting the 1000^th episode in the show’s history. The big deal here is a variety of cameos and appearances from some of the biggest stars the show has ever seen. I’m not sure what to expect here, but WWE’s record with important shows like this has been hit and miss. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

One more note: between each match and coming back from breaks, we get classic stills from Smackdown’s history. That’s a very nice touch.

We open with a long montage of the show’s history, which is of course awesome. WWE does these things better than anyone else and this is no exception.

Here are R-Truth and Carmella for Truth TV, which is also celebrating its 1000^th episode. Carmella explains things to him so Truth pauses for a dance break. Since their guest needs no introduction, let’s have another dance break! That brings them to their guest….who of course is Stephanie McMahon. She soaks in some booing and brags about her time as Smackdown General Manager but here’s Shane McMahon to a much stronger introduction. Stephanie: “How come I don’t ever get any love?”

Shane actually sounds a little choked up as he thanks the fans for being here for 1000 episode. Stephanie: “And just like that, they buy it.” After a bickering session, Stephanie says we should be starting a little bigger than Truth TV, which gets a Truth TV chant. And now, here’s Vince McMahon to really interrupt. The YES chants start up but Stephanie says that he’s got his hearing aid in tonight. Vince gets straight to the point: he wants a dance break! Everyone starts dancing and that’s that. How nice of Stephanie to rip the show we’re celebrating and then dance because she’s Stephanie and no one can stay mad at her.

Usos vs. Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles

Oh hey the Usos are still alive. Jey and Bryan start things off with Jimmy coming in to take Daniel down with a double elbow. It’s quickly off to AJ for some kicks to the leg but Jey stomps him down in the corner. The Calf Crusher goes on Jey and Daniel gets the YES Lock on Jimmy but a rope is grabbed to send us to a break. Back with Bryan kicking away and moonsaulting over Jimmy, setting up the suicide dive onto Jey. There’s a missile dropkick to Jimmy and the YES Kicks have him in even more trouble. Everything breaks down and Bryan forearms AJ by mistake, setting up a double superkick to pin Bryan at 9:08.

Rating: C. This was angle advancement instead of a match and that’s perfectly fine. Bryan and Styles aren’t the kind of people to hate each other so building tension over wins and losses is the most logical path to a match that they have. It’s also nice to give the Usos a win as they’ve barely been a factor in a long time now.

Vickie Guerrero, Johnny Ace and Teddy Long join Paige for some dancing.

Here’s Evolution for their Smackdown debut. HHH talks about the show reaching 1000 episodes by evolving over the years. Flair says he’s more used to that 10,000 number but seems happy to be here. Orton says it was a great way to start his career with these men and he’s never stopped evolving. Now HHH runs the show, Flair lives vicariously through his daughter and Batista spends more time in a makeup chair than in the ring but Orton is still cementing his legacy.

Batista says he’s nervous but he’s going to enjoy his time, including ignoring what Orton said. The last place he wants to be is here with a microphone in his hand. He’s come up with four things to say though. First, he wanted to be here because this is 1000 shows. Second, we’re here in his hometown, where he bounced in clubs and saw more violence than he could ever imagine but now he’s made it.

Third, he’s here for the people, no matter what they said to him over the years because he worked hard for them every night. Finally, and definitely not the least, is the three other members of Evolution. This was an army of World Champions that will never be assembled again.

Orton was special the moment everyone laid eyes on him. Flair is…..well he’s Ric Flair and that sums it all up. Batista to Flair: “You keep that thing in your pants.” And they’re all cracking up. Finally there’s HHH, who has done everything there is to do in this business…..except beat Batista. Tensions are teased but everyone hugs, with HHH giving a very long stare at Batista. This was the Batista show and you can tell the Hollywood stuff has helped him quite a bit.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Rusev

Neither gets an entrance and Kurt Angle is on commentary. Aiden English runs down for a distraction and Miz grabs a rollup for the pin at 41 seconds. The spoils of a dance break I guess.

Post match Rusev destroys English.

In the back Curt Hawkins and Edge give us a quick Edgehead reunion.

Here’s Edge (with Tony Chimel doing his intro for old times sake), with the shoulder length hair again, for the Cutting Edge. This has always felt like his show because this is where some of his greatest achievements took place. He cashed in Money in the Bank on the Undertaker and had a No DQ match against Eddie Guerrero that people still talk to him about to this day. He even married and divorced Vickie Guerrero. However, he’s been watching the show for the last few weeks and now he needs to be Smackdown’s moral compass.

Therefore, his first guest is Becky Lynch, who Edge sees a lot of himself in. Becky says she modeled her career after him so that means a lot. Edge talks about not being someone who was supposed to succeed and having to scratch and claw their way to the top, just like Becky. The thing is though, Becky didn’t make the right choice.

If there was a friendship that got in Edge’s way, he crushed it, leaving a trail of burnt bridges. That’s not the right way, no matter how many titles you win. The path that Becky is on will lead to her sitting alone, looking at all of her titles on the wall, by herself. The bigger problem is she won’t even like herself.

Becky says it’s true that she doesn’t like herself because she loves herself. She tells Edge to get out of the champ’s ring and make sure you don’t hurt your neck again going through the ropes. Cue Charlotte to say that it’s not cool to go there. The fight is on with agents and referees having to break it up in short order.

Rey Mysterio is back and runs into Jeff Hardy.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. The Bar

New Day is defending and since they’re wrestling, Booker T. and Jerry Lawler are running New Day’s commentary booth. Woods headscissors Sheamus down for a basement dropkick and an early near fall as we cut to Lawler and Booker for more analysis than the regular team gives in a week. Cesaro takes over on the arm and it’s off to Sheamus for a double elbow as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus missing a charge into the corner and the hot tag off to Big E. Cesaro comes in as well and gets Rock Bottomed out of the corner, landing on his head. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and gets speared through the ropes, leaving Woods to hit a Shining Wizard for two on Cesaro. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up but Cesaro makes a blind tag. Big E. hits the Big Ending on Sheamus but gets Neutralized for two with Woods making the save as we take a second break in less than seven minutes.

Back again with Big E. missing a charge and getting caught in a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two with Kofi Kingston breaking up the cover due to feet on the ropes. The Bar loads up the announcers’ table but here’s Big Show to chokeslam Kofi through it instead, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Big E. for the pin and the titles at 13:38.

Rating: C. This was the Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff “do something to make it memorable” title change and that’s fine. The tag division means nothing on this show so switching the titles doesn’t change a thing anyway. Hopefully the Usos can get back in there now as they’re more than overdue to be in the title scene again.

John Cena sends in a video about the history of Smackdown creating new superstars. There is no John Cena without Smackdown and he owes the fans a great deal of thanks.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title and this is Rey’s first singles match for WWE in four and a half years. Nakamura takes him down to start and drops a knee for an early one. A front facelock has Rey in some more trouble but he’s right back out with a headscissors. Rey knocks him outside for the sliding splash underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe and we take a break.

We come back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton and a top rope hurricanrana getting two. Nakamura kicks him in the head but misses Kinshasa, allowing Rey to headscissor him again. After Nakamura crawls over to the ropes, it’s a 619 into the springboard frog splash for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was watchable enough but some of the spots weren’t exactly hitting and Nakamura was his usually uninspired self. Mysterio looked good in spots but it certainly wasn’t a match that would make you thrilled to see him back. It’s more like he’s lost some weight and come back after not being around for a bit. I’m glad he’s back, but it wasn’t exactly anything major.

Post match here’s Undertaker to say “At Crown Jewel, I have three worlds for DX: Rest In Peace” to end the show. His music stopped for less than thirty seconds.

Overall Rating: D+. So we’re going to put this one in the “miss” category as it pretty much stopped being a historical show in the last 45 minutes and turned into a regular episode of the show with Booker T. and Jerry Lawler popping in for about sixty seconds of commentary. The long segments took up way too much of a two hour show (Evolution and the opening segment added up to a half hour) and the rest was the Cutting Edge and focus on Crown Jewel. I could go for a Best Of Smackdown show, but this was trying to have both a regular show and a nostalgia show and neither won.

Results

Usos b. Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles – Double superkick to Bryan

The Miz b Rusev – Rollup

The Bar b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.

Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Springboard frog splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 13, 2004
Location: Lawlor Convention Center, Reno, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and my goodness the show is not looking good at this point. We currently have three matches announced so this week’s show is going to be designed to get us ready for Sunday in a hurry, with several matches likely being added at once. That rarely leads to a good night but that would be par for the course around here lately. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie Guerrero’s mom having a heart attack, because that’s the one angle they have for this whole thing. Eddie snapped to end last week’s show, partially due to JBL blaming him for the heart attack.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

During Rob’s entrance, Rob/Rey Mysterio vs. the Dudley Boyz is announced for Sunday. I mean, we saw it last week so let’s make people pay to see it again! Actually hang on a second as we have a change due to a sneak attack.

Rob Van Dam vs. D-Von Dudley

See? IT’S TRICKINESS! D-Von jumps him from behind to start until Van Dam gets in a spinning kick to the jaw. The running corner dropkick in the corner allows Van Dam to get in some finger pointing. Bubba offers a distraction though and the split legged moonsault is countered into a neckbreaker out of the corner. Some choking with a torn tag rope has Van Dam in some more trouble and a hard clothesline gets two.

The chinlock wakes Van Dam up a bit and there’s another kick to the face to put D-Von down. The top rope kick to the face gets two but Van Dam has to cannonball off the apron to take care of an interfering Bubba. Rolling Thunder connects but Bubba puts D-Von’s leg on the rope. A ref bump lets Bubba crotch Van Dam on top though and it’s a top rope hanging DDT to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: D. This was as interesting as D-Von in the ring and Bubba on the floor vs. Van Dam was going to be. Having the Dudley Boyz as the second biggest heels on the roster is one of the dumbest things that could have been done and it’s not getting any better week to week. The clean loss last week didn’t help things either and it’s just not interesting.

Post match the beatdown stays on until Rey Mysterio makes the save. Thanks for being there in the last five minutes Rey.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Eddie Guerrero and says what Eddie did last week was unprovoked. Eddie is a volcano waiting to erupt and Angle can’t have that on his show. If Eddie does anything tonight, there will be severe consequences. Eddie gets up and walks away.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. Oh good grief.

Cole is in the ring and brings out Jacqueline for a chat. We see a clip of her winning the Cruiserweight Title and she’s proud to be the first woman to hold it. Dig that WWE continuity. She reminds Chavo “Guerrer” that he lost to a girl so here are Chavo and Chavo Classic to interrupt. Jr. calls her a thief because that was the worst night of his career and maybe even his life. Angle has made a rematch for Judgment Day and he’ll have one arm tied behind his back. Classic thinks it’s a great idea but he wants some redemption tonight. Oh dear this is going to be bad.

Chavo Classic vs. Jacqueline

Non-title. Joined in progress with Chavo taking her down and getting in a little spanking. Jacqueline sends him outside and then does the exact same thing he did to her, albeit with the slaps to the head for the sake of good taste. A Hennig neck snap puts Jacqueline down again though and we hit an abdominal stretch with Chavo having to lean down to make it work. Jacqueline fights up with a hurricanrana but Jr. pulls her off the apron, dropping her face first onto the apron, giving Classic the pin. This is a champion people. Someone who gets sent into the apron and pinned by in his mid-50s.

Worry not though, as Jacqueline gets revenge by pulling Classic’s pants down. Good thing everything is ok now.

Angle is livid at Eddie for disrespecting him and is going to do something about it.

We look back at Booker using magic to try and fend off Undertaker.

Angle finds Eddie and tells him to cool off. It wasn’t even JBL’s fault because Eddie’s mom is 76 years old. Eddie is about to snap so the boss leaves.

The announcers talk about JBL, who suddenly calls in from his limo to promise to destroy Mysterio tonight. He wants Eddie to still be here when he gets to the arena too.

FBI vs. Booker T.

The FBI is banged up after last week’s massacre at Undertaker’s hands. Booker has the hex bag with him because that’s still a thing. Stamboli gets stomped down with ease and a side slam drops Nunzio. Booker drops Nunzio ribs first onto the barricade and kicks Stamboli in the face a few times, followed by the ax kick for the pin. The FBI didn’t get in a single shot.

Post match Booker says that proves he’s just as powerful as the Undertaker….and there’s the gong. Undertaker’s face pops up on both smaller screens and then the main screen as Booker tries to run. Paul Bearer comes out as the ring fills with smoke and Undertaker sits up inside.

Here’s Eddie for a chat and we see the heart attack AGAIN during his entrance because there’s nothing else to the feud but it’s somehow better than the racism/border patrol stuff. Eddie talks about representing the entire WWE and all of America. The point of America isn’t saying you’re better than other people but working hard to achieve your dreams. Eddie looks at America as a great big melting pot.

JBL is going to need some intestinal fortitude to deal with him on Sunday because Eddie is bringing it to the fullest. Eddie talks about the heart attack and having to explain to his kids why he didn’t do anything to the man who hurt grandma. She’s a strong woman and Eddie was worried about her but he wants to take care of Bradshaw tonight. He wants Vickie to turn the TV off because he doesn’t want the kids to see what’s about to happen to Bradshaw.

The limo comes out but there’s no JBL so Eddie breaks the window with a pipe. There’s no one inside so here’s JBL with some police to demand Eddie be arrested for destruction of private property. Eddie charges at him but gets beaten down, with JBL screaming about aggravated assault. Eddie was really stretching in his promo and didn’t sound like he knew where he was going. Could it be because even he knows how awful this story has been?

Rico vs. Hardcore Holly

Rico kicks away in the corner as Jackie and Charlie Haas celebrate on the floor. The chinlock goes on as there’s just nothing going on here. Holly pops up and hits the kick to the very lower abdomen but the Alabama Slam is escaped. A dropkick that isn’t quite up to Holly’s usual standard gets two so Rico heads up top, only to have his high crossbody rolled through to give Holly the pin.

Rating: D. This was a fine example of two things. First of all, Rico can wrestle a watchable match when he’s just playing it straight (pun intended) and isn’t doing all of his shtick. It’s a shame that he got stuck with such a lame gimmick and never recovered. Unfortunately, the other thing it shows is how horrible the tag division is, with a team being thrown together (if they teamed on Velocity, it wasn’t mentioned here) and getting a pay per view title shot. That should never be the case but it’s happening here, and it’s likely to happen again.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie has been added to Sunday.

Earlier this week, Rene Dupree held a Cafe de Rene where he talked about how unwelcome he’s felt since coming to this country. America just can’t handle the world thinking there are better countries out there, which is why he’s been targeted by John Cena. On Sunday, he’s going to treat Cena like Americans treat Iraqi prisoners.

Mordecai debuts on Sunday.

Sakoda vs. John Cena

Non-title. Sakoda doesn’t go anywhere off a shoulder block but he bails to the floor anyway. Cena goes out to get him and gets kicked in the face by Akio. Back in and Sakoda knees Cena in the face and poses a bit, showing more fire in ten seconds than I’ve ever seen otherwise. We hit the sleeper until Cena fights up with the usual, capped off by the FU for the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Sakoda looked better than usual here, which isn’t saying much as he’s been little more than a warm body for months now. Cena needed a win to recharge things a bit after last week’s beatdown, even though I don’t think the title is in that much doubt. At least Cena could fire the crowd up a little bit after the JBL and Rene times killed the crowd’s energy.

Akio get FU’d onto Sakoda to even things up.

Raw ReBound.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio gets shoved down and JBL does that smile of his. Rey dropkicks it off his face so Bradshaw blasts him with a shoulder and some kicks to the back. The powerbomb doesn’t work and the chase is on with Rey trying a dive, only to get caught in a fall away slam on the floor.

Back in and the slow beating begins with a kick to the head and a suplex. The torture rack goes on and JBL runs over Rey for daring to escape. Rey fights out of a superplex and grabs a tornado DDT. That’s about it for the comeback though as Rey is sent outside and into various things like the announcers’ table. Back in and a buckle bomb sets up the Clothesline From JBL for the pin. Just a bit above a squash.

Rating: D. This was a good example of why JBL isn’t working in the role. His promos and character stuff are really dull and then it gets even worse in the ring. He’s just a power guy and there are people who are so much better at it than he is that it’s not fun to watch. It’s a good idea to have him go over someone like Mysterio but it’s WAY too late to have the result that they needed.

Post match JBL talks about how he doesn’t care about Eddie’s mother dying because it’s all about winning the title. Cole: “Will JBL’s stock rise on Sunday?” Oh good grief.

Overall Rating: F. Let’s see. There was no good wrestling. There were no good promos. I somehow care about Judgment Day even less than I did when this show started. That has to be one of the worst go home shows I’ve ever seen and when you consider how much they had to add to the pay per view on this show alone (an insane five matches out of an eight match card), it’s clear that they’re making this stuff up as they go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 9, 2018
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

With Australia behind us, it’s time to get ready for the return to Saudi Arabia. That means qualifying matches for the World Cup of Wrestling, the latest tournament because the more than dozen plus that we’ve had this year already aren’t enough. Other than that we have the build towards Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles for the Smackdown World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Becky is defending and can lose the title via DQ. They’re in the ring for the Big Match Intros with neither getting an entrance so they’re starting fast. Becky works on a wristlock to start before raking Charlotte’s eyes across the top rope. A legdrop sets up the strut from Becky but she misses the spinning version, allowing Charlotte to roll her up for two. They clothesline each other but it’s too early for the Disarm-Her.

Instead Charlotte hits a dragon screw legwhip, only to be taken down into an armbar. Becky gets catapulted into the corner for a trip to the floor, which of course means a dive to take us to a break. Back with Charlotte being slammed off the top for two as Becky works on the arm some more. Charlotte chops away and grabs a belly to back suplex for a double knockdown.

Lynch gets crotched on top but manages to roll off into a cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into a sitout powerbomb and we take a second break. Back again with Becky trying to walk out but coming back in and throwing the belt down. That leads to an argument that doesn’t get us anywhere, so it’s an exchange of rollups, followed by a spear to put Becky on the floor.

Charlotte misses the moonsault though and the Bexploder gets nine. Becky follows her out and gets Bexploded as well, followed by Natural Selection back inside. Charlotte can’t cover though as Becky rolls outside, leading to another brawl for the double countout at 25:12. That might be a record for the longest one fall women’s match.

Rating: B. They beat each other up here and the ending should set up some kind of gimmick rematch at Evolution. You know, because the way to get any big feud to the next level is to have them fight multiple times in a month and a half. Either way, the draw is the right call here as neither is hurt and Charlotte can say she deserves another rematch.

Post match Charlotte spears Becky through the set. I feel that warrants a new version. Say with a giant fist.

Undertaker will be at SmackDown 1000.

World Cup Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe

So you remember last month when Hardy had that big bump in the Cell and looked to be gone for a long time? Well he was gone less than a month instead. Both guys get videos about themselves, almost as if we’re seeing them for the first time. Hardy goes after Joe’s banged up knee to send him outside and we take a break.

Back with Joe elbowing him in the face and putting on e neck crank. Jeff fights up and drops the legs between the legs to send Joe outside again. Joe’s bad knee is sent into the steps and Hardy hammers away at it back inside. Hardy pounds away on it….and the referee stops the match due to Joe’s injury at 7:52.

Rating: C-. What a bizarre ending as Joe was still moving around and you’ll see worse injuries in other matches. I guess the idea is to protect Joe from another loss and that’s all well and good, but how about YOU DON’T BOOK HIM IN A MATCH WHERE HE’S GOING TO LOSE? If you want Hardy in the tournament, just have him beat someone else to qualify. Or do what you did with Cena and put him in the tournament without a win.

Video on Randy Orton. Are these just filler videos or is this some kind of season premiere?

Video on Evolution, who will be making their Smackdown debut next week.

Paige makes Becky vs. Charlotte at Evolution in a Last Woman Standing match.

It’s time for MizTV. Miz promises to remain professional tonight with his guests, AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan. AJ comes out first and Miz asks about a slightly less intimidating opponent. Miz: “If he comes to your house, he’ll tend your garden.” Bryan comes out and shakes AJ’s hand, which Miz doesn’t care to see. Bryan asks if Miz would rather talk about their match, because it shouldn’t take very long.

When asked about how this is going to be different, A talks about making sure this is going to stay in the ring. Miz: “With that, you’re saying you’re better than everyone.” Bryan doesn’t buy it and says he’s glad AJ thinks he’s the better wrestler. See, Bryan wants to beat a worthy champion and AJ has defended his title for over 300 days. That makes him more excited to win, because he knows he can beat AJ. Styles says no offense, but Bryan hasn’t faced any phenomenal opponents since he came back. You mean save for his first singles match back.

Bryan calls Miz the two minute man (AJ: “That’s what I’ve heard for years.”) and says this is what he fought to come back from retirement to do. His dream is to come back and be WWE Champion again. AJ gets out of his chair and asks how good it feels to punch Miz in the face. That’s enough for Miz to go to the apron and say that the small package was a fluke because his shoulder was up. Paige won’t give him a rematch so Miz goes on a rant about Bryan stealing the title and AJ making the title irrelevant. He’ll be waiting on the winner of the title match, which the fans seem to approve. AJ has a match tonight so good luck.

Shelton Benjamin vs. AJ Styles

Non-title with Miz and Bryan on commentary. Shelton takes him down to start and puts on a quickly broken chinlock. Benjamin gets one off a backdrop as Miz and Bryan bicker about the upcoming title match. AJ enziguris him down but can’t hit the Clash as Shelton muscles him up into a suplex.

That’s reversed as well but Shelton hits a jumping knee to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. AJ gets sent into the barricade and we take a break. Back with AJ scoring off an electric chair drop to put them both down. The Calf Crusher goes on but Benjamin is too close to the ropes. AJ is right back up with the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 8:20.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match with Shelton being built up last week and then losing just a week later. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s the kind of match that has been done for years. AJ and Bryan competing against each other with the same opponents perfectly fine and it’s a good story to send them into their title match.

Video on Big Show.

Here’s Aiden English to show the other half of One Night In Milwaukee. Or the Director’s Cut actually, which they haven’t mentioned until now. Lana says she wants him….to know how important he is to Rusev. He’s done so much for Rusev’s career and she just wanted him to know. English thanks her and moves towards her as the camera freezes again. Back in the arena, English wants Rusev to come out here.

English offers to destroy the video if Rusev will kick Lana to the curb and reunite the team. Lana comes out as Rusev slowly walks towards English without saying anything. Rusev finally says he wants to see the full tape, but English says no man should ever have to see that. Lana has no problem playing the full tape because she hacked English’s phone. Apparently his password is I Heart Rusev.

The full version shows English coming onto her and getting shot down with nothing happening. English says they got him but the offer is still on the table. When she gets tired of those Rusev Days, come treat yourself to an Aiden night. Rusev charges and is smart enough to run where English is heading, allowing him to get in a few shots before English gets away. Well that was rather disappointing. Good segment, but it just came and went in a few weeks.

Rey Mysterio is confirmed to return next week in a World Cup Qualifying Match against Shinsuke Nakamura. Egads man. Really?

World Cup Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Show is looking slimmer than I’ve seen him in a long time. Orton gets shoved to the floor early on and we take a fast break. Back with Orton hitting a short DDT and putting on a chinlock. Show fights up with some clotheslines but Orton dropkicks the hip, setting up the hanging DDT for two. A spear gets Show out of trouble for the same and the fans think he still has it. The chokeslam gets two more but Orton bails before the KO Punch. Orton is smart enough to hit a thumb to the eye into the RKO for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: D-. That’s it? That’s the big post pay per view main event? A match that would have been a waste of a house show main event? For the sake of that nothing tournament that is just there for the sake of a trophy? You really can’t do anything better than this for a main event? Bringing Show back for a ten minute match where it’s a lot of chinlocking and clotheslines? Good grief.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries this as far as it can go but the rest, save for the Bryan/Styles segment, was a bunch of drek. So much of this was dedicated to that tournament and those weird hype videos for people we already know. I’m not sure what they were going for here and I’m more than willing to write it off as the results of jet lag. If next week is back to normal than fine, but I really hope this isn’t the new style they’re using for the show.

Results

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch went to a double countout

Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe via referee stoppage

AJ Styles b. Shelton Benjamin – Phenomenal Forearm

Randy Orton b. Big Show – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Judgment Day and….well I haven’t actually watched the show in a good while as I stockpiled a bunch of reviews before I went on vacation. That was by design, as I tried to block out most of what was going on with this show. JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero is still coming up and that’s not exactly something I want to think about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Michael Cole is in the ring to talk about Eddie Guerrero’s mother having a heart attack at an El Paso house show. Eddie had finished his match and invited his family into the ring, which was followed by tragedy. Since it’s so sad, let’s see a video of the whole thing. Eddie invited some women into the ring, starting with his wife Vickie (one of her first appearances), his daughters, and finally his mother, the latter of whom gets a rather long and glowing introduction.

Eddie presents her with a bouquet of roses, which brought out JBL, who must be a fan of lilies. The big clothesline takes Eddie out and JBL yells at the mother, who collapses in a heart attack that Fritz Von Erich would find to be a little much. Medics come out as Eddie chases JBL off to finally wrap this up.

Back in the arena, Cole and Tazz are rather somber, with Tazz even taking his sunglasses off.

John Cena vs. Doug Basham

Non-title. Before the match, Cena makes his usual gay jokes, this time at Doug’s expense. Oh and the Bashams are like Mary-Kate and Ashley. It takes a good minute into the match to have Cena throw his jersey into the crowd. Cole goes from talking about Cena’s Deez Nuts joke to Eddie’s mom having a heart attack, showing that great broadcasting ability. Cena slugs him into the corner to start until Doug scores with an elbow to the jaw. Danny trips Cena up for bad measure and Doug slaps on a sleeper. The belly to back suplex gets Cena out of trouble and it’s a pump of the shoes into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick win with some minor odds for Cena to overcome, much like his upcoming match with Rene Dupree. There’s no one for him to fight in the midcard at the moment so while I can appreciate the idea of bringing some people up, there’s going to be a rough transitional period, just like this one. Or maybe it’s just the Bashams and Dupree.

We recap Booker T. attacking Undertaker last week and getting chased off as a result.

To get a chance against the Undertaker, Booker visited a fortune teller. Her advice to deal with the evil shadow: find things for him, starting with dirt from the grave with no name. Oh this is going to be a rough one.

Here are Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Sr. (now dubbed Chavo Classic) with the latter talking about how sad he is at his mother’s heart attack. Jr. is wanting to face everyone, so tonight it’s an open challenge for a title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Jacqueline is challenging because Paul London, Tajiri, Rey Mysterio, Brian Kendrick and probably half a dozen other people aren’t around for the sake of this angle. The Guerreros mock her for being a woman and want the real challenger out here instead. Jr. says this wouldn’t be fair because no man can beat him, so what chance does she have? She can either do, ahem, something else to him or make some sandwiches.

A slap starts the match and Chavo takes her down into an armbar without much effort. Jacqueline is up with a headscissors and a dropkick but Chavo belly to backs the heck out of her. Classic offers a distraction though and it’s a low blow into a rollup to give Jacqueline the pin and the title. So that happened. Anyone care? At all? At least Classic’s stunned face is funny.

The FBI is in the ring so here’s Kurt Angle to talk about how he thought last week’s negative crowd reaction in Oklahoma City was just a one off mistake. All the fans couldn’t possibly boo someone who has sacrificed as much as he has over the years. No matter how many people dislike him, he’s still the General Manager of this show. That’s why tonight, Undertaker is facing the FBI.

Undertaker vs. FBI

Just Stamboli and Nunzio to be destroyed here. Cole says he’s been having debates with a lot of people about whether Undertaker is alive or dead. I’m sure you have Cole, and odds are they’re at the airport. Undertaker cleans house to start and kicks Stamboli in the face. With Nunzio coming back up off the floor, Old School is broken up so Undertaker beats on Stamboli instead.

Post match Undertaker destroys both guys because he’s the Undertaker and they’re the FBI.

Booker finds the grave (good thing it was in the same city) and takes some of the dirt. After Booker leaves, a gloved hand pops out of the ground. Uh….yeah.

We look at the heart attack angle again, though thankfully a shorter version which still clocks in at longer than an Undertaker entrance.

Josh Matthews asks Eddie if he blames himself for the heart attack and Eddie’s glare sends Josh running off. Good. Keep going.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Well what else are you going to use to follow up an elderly woman having a heart attack and her son having an emotional breakdown? Rene Dupree is at ringside. Apparently Torrie is still being blamed for Angle’s injuries because she ticked Big Show off so much. Dawn kicks her down for an early two as Rene eerily stares at Torrie. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off and Torrie goes face first into it, only to come back with a clothesline.

The swinging neckbreaker, as in the only move Torrie can do, gets two and a high crossbody gets the same, despite Rene’s failed interference. Cue Cena to even things up and the fight is on as the match is thrown out somewhere in there. The stuff with the women was terrible and Cena vs. Dupree was slightly less terrible.

Dupree beats Cena up and takes him inside for a ram into the exposed buckle. Cena gets posted as well and a powerbomb puts him through the announcers’ table. Well, that’s better than giving Eddie’s mother a heart attack.

Back from a break and apparently Dupree beat him up even more during the commercial.

Pay per view rundown. With ten days to go before the show, you should probably have a fourth match announced.

JBL joins us from New York to deny all responsibility for the heart attack because he was just asking her to leave. Eddie had no right to bring his family into JBL’s place of business because it wasn’t bring your family to work day. There’s no need for an apology because the woman has already outlived her days. If Eddie wants to do something like that, he has to take responsibility for the consequences.

JBL isn’t here tonight to give Eddie a break but that won’t be the case next week. Oh and Eddie’s mom probably faked it because she taught Eddie to lie, cheat and steal. We get the illegal immigrant stuff to wrap it up. This story is still lame, mainly because it’s still Bradshaw trying to be intimidating.

Paul Heyman comes up to Angle and talks about Eddie being emotional. If Eddie explodes in the tag match main event, it’s going to be on Angle’s head. Angle agrees so Luther Reigns is tasked with going to find an unnamed replacement.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/???

D-Von comes in and gets hurricanranaed, followed by a kick to the face to keep him in trouble. Bubba gets smart by grabbing Rob from the apron but gets kicked down for his efforts. Rey comes in for a 619 attempt, only to be tripped down by Bubba. Things slow down with Bubba yelling at Rey and punching him down for a bonus. A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble and a springboard bulldog is good for two.

D-Von uses a quick distraction to crotch Rey against the post though and we take a break. Back with D-Von holding Rey in a chinlock but slipping out of a suplex attempt. The hot tag to Van Dam is broken up though and double teaming ensues. Rey slips out again and now the hot tag works just fine. Van Dam’s top rope kick to the face gets two on D-Von and everything breaks down.

The split legged moonsault hits D-Von for two more with Bubba making the save. Rey’s springboard is pulled out of the air but Van Dam breaks up What’s Up. The Five Star misses D-Von so Rob enziguris him into the 619 instead. A Rolling Thunder/Dropping the Dime combination is good for the pin, because that’s the way to get over a suddenly angry act like the Dudleys.

Rating: C+. That’s one of the best Smackdown matches in far too long and that shows a lot of the problems with the show at the moment. This was built up as one of the major matches on the show and then they change it at the last minute, leaving us with a good match but not the one that they advertised. The Dudleys continue to be their same old selves though, and that’s not good for the spot they’re supposed to be in.

Post match the Dudleys beat the winners down until Eddie runs in for the save with a chair. Eddie throws the referee outside and starts swinging, including a shot to the referee and another to Van Dam. Bubba (already bleeding) and D-Von take second shots to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of short matches, Jacqueline as Cruiserweight Champion instead of making someone into a new star (you know, like they did last year), and the heart attack angle are a little too much for the only so good main event to make up for. It’s such a dark time for Smackdown at the moment and unfortunately I don’t see that changing for a very, very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 2, 2018
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

With less than a week before the big show in Australia, most of the card is set. Tonight you can expect a heavy dose of Miz vs. Daniel Bryan, as the other Smackdown main event of AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe is all but set. That won’t stop WWE from talking about the Raw matches non stop though, as Undertaker vs. HHH is by far and away the real main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Paige to open things up. She talks about how serious everything is between AJ and Joe at the moment and we see a clip of what happened last week as Joe went to AJ’s house. Paige says nothing happened as authorities were called and got there in time (you know, to the middle of nowhere where AJ probably lives). Now that brings us to tonight, where Joe has been charged with trespassing and should be fired, but AJ doesn’t think so. AJ wants to get his hands on Samoa Joe instead and he’s dropping the charges.

The match is on, and here’s a clip from AJ, who is at his house instead of at the show. He’s not in the right frame of mind to perform tonight because this is bigger than WWE. AJ is at his house tonight and is staying there until he knows Joe is on a plane to Australia. He needs to be there because his kids are waking up in the middle of the night, checking their closets for Uncle Joe. This has to end because Joe isn’t leaving the land down under. AJ is going to bury him alive. That sounds like the big blowoff to the feud, but Joe almost has to win at this point. Do you want to treat him like you did Nakamura?

R-Truth/Carmella vs. Andrade Cien Almas/Zelina Vega

The women start things off with Vega throwing Carmella down and mocking the moon walk. That earns her a dropkick so Carmella can show us the real thing, followed by some shouting. Something like a crucifix hold over the middle rope keeps Carmella in trouble and it’s off to the men so we can get the Almas/Vega tranquilo pose.

Truth and Carmella do their own shared splits pose before scaring Vega and Almas to the floor. We pause for the dance break until Truth falls for a distraction, allowing Truth to stomp away. A missed running knee puts Almas on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Truth hitting a leg lariat for a double knockdown.

The diving tag brings in Carmella for her clotheslines and an atomic drop, which feels like a rare thing these days. There’s the Bronco Buster in the corner, followed by a Flatliner for two. Carmella isn’t pleased with Almas for making the save so she tries a superkick on him instead. Truth clotheslines Almas to the floor and hits a dive, leaving Vega to roll her up for two. The Code of Silence makes Vega tap at 9:54.

Rating: D+. Well at least Almas didn’t lose. I know that this is all about pushing Mixed Match Challenge but egads this is what they’re doing with Carmella? As in the woman who beat Charlotte and Asuka over the summer? At least Truth and Carmella are funny, which is about all you can expect from these two at the moment.

Tye Dillinger tells Paige that he wants Randy Orton but she points out the lack of Jeff Hardy since his match with Orton. Paige: “I will never understand men.” The match is made for tonight.

Here’s New Day and it’s time for the debut of their cooking show. Big E. tries to thank ICOPRO for sponsoring them but Woods cuts him off to talk about their title match against the Bar in Australia. Kofi thinks that means they need a strong dose of positivity, so they introduce their pancake chef. Tonight we’re going to learn his special recipe but here’s the Bar to interrupt. Sheamus introduces Cesaro, who knows a thing or two about making pastries.

Apparently he’s known as Chef back home, but Sheamus knows a better way to bake things. The table is turned over and the fight is on with Sheamus throwing flour into Kofi’s face to break up the Midnight Hour. Big E. goes shoulder first into the post and a double backbreaker hits Kofi. That’s not enough though as they fill in the chef’s hat with batter and put it back on his head. The rest is poured over him in the least surprising ending in a long time.

Tye Dillinger vs. Randy Orton

Dillinger jumps him in the aisle and the referee waits on the floor as the fight heads inside. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Tye drops him back first onto the announcers’ table. Orton hits him with the steps before putting Tye’s finger inside the hook that connects the turnbuckle to the post. The finger is bent around and Tye is in trouble until Orton finally lets it go. No match.

The Miz gives Shelton Benjamin a pep talk before Benjamin faces Daniel Bryan tonight. Apparently Miz got him the match but Shelton doesn’t seem impressed. Miz keeps talking about what Benjamin needs to do tonight until Shelton is all fired up, saying that this is the chance he’s been waiting for. They do shake hands though.

Aiden English wants the production truck to be ready to show his video about what happened with Lana in Milwaukee.

Here are Rusev and Lana to see this video. Rusev doesn’t like hearing something like this about his wife and now he wants to tear English apart. English comes out and says he has the evidence, but first: some backstory. Milwaukee is the largest city in Wisconsin and borders two of the Great Lakes. Lana says he’s stalling but English goes on to talk about the films and TV series that have been filmed in the city.

English finally shows us the clip, which is him in his hotel, practicing his song into the camera. Lana comes in to say she wants him. That’s the end of the clip, though English says there’s more that he’s not allowed to show. English is also considering an offer from TMZ and he wouldn’t want to, ahem, CHEAT ON THEM. Rusev charges up the ramp and chases English off. More on this later I’m sure, and I’m actually kinds of intrigued.

We see a clip of the end of last night’s show with the Brothers of Destruction beating up HHH and the suddenly bald Shawn Michaels.

Post break, Rusev hunts English (who is apparently very fast) when Lana cuts him off. He says they’re not doing this here and walks away, leaving Lana looking distraught.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shelton Benjamin

Whoa, a match. Miz is on commentary as Shelton runs Bryan over to start. A gutbuster gives Benjamin two as Miz talks about the opportunities he’s given everyone over the years. Bryan gets in some right hands and slaps on the YES Lock, sending Benjamin straight to the ropes. They head outside with Benjamin whipping Bryan’s ribs into the barricade and apron over and over to Miz’s delight.

Back from a break with Bryan missing the Swan Dive and getting caught in a bearhug. Bryan finally drives him into the corner and hits a running dropkick, only to eat a running knee to the ribs. A bridging German suplex gives Benjamin two but he misses the Dragon Whip. Bryan loads up the running knee but has to knock Miz off the apron. Paydirt gives Benjamin the big upset at 9:12.

Rating: C+. I’m surprised to say this, but good. Shelton looked awesome out there and it’s a good idea to give him a win. Bryan is going to be fine for his match at Super Show-Down and this works as a way to advance the angle. Shelton gets something out of the win and Bryan is damaged coming into Saturday. Makes perfect sense.

Post match Miz wrecks Bryan even more, including dropping the ribs on the announcers’ table and hitting the Skull Crushing Finale.

Clip from Raw of the Shield being taken out by Braun Strowman and company.

Naomi is in the ring for the Susan G. Komen video. Some women from the organization and cancer survivors are here, including Dana Warrior.

Peyton Royce vs. Asuka

Before the match, Peyton and Billie Kay debut their Aussie Floss dance. Graves: “I’ve got nothing on that one.” Joined in progress with Asuka getting kicked in the ribs until a rollup gives Asuka two. A middle rope dropkick misses to give Peyton two more and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Asuka hits the middle rope dropkick for two of her own, followed by a kneebar into an ankle lock. Naomi and Billie cancel each other out, leaving Asuka to win with the Asuka Lock at 3:34.

Rating: D. Same match they always have with Royce having no chance to actually beat Asuka because Asuka is that much better. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to care about the match in Australia because the Iiconics are still annoying, but now they’re going to be annoying in front of a bunch of people who sound like them. That’s not an interesting story, though there isn’t a story here in the first place.

Here’s Becky Lynch for her surprise before Saturday. Becky talks about how she’s learned you can’t be nice around here without getting stabbed in the back. We get a clip of the history of Lynch and Charlotte, which only makes the fans cheer for her all the more. Becky wants to know where her new action figure or magazine covers are while she has to watch Charlotte get a photo shoot. Becky has a new poster of Super Show-Down, featuring Becky standing over Charlotte and holding up the title. Cue a ticked off Charlotte to spear Becky and put her in the Figure Four over the apron. Becky limps off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the show where they had everything set up for Saturday and didn’t have much else to do here. Unfortunately they didn’t have anything to make up for that lack of content and it made for a pretty boring show as a result. Having three matches in two hours isn’t the greatest idea in the world and the show was pretty far below their usual Tuesday efforts. Then again, it’s not like anything on this show remotely compares to Saturday’s main event.

Results

R-Truth/Carmella b. Andrade Cien Almas/Zelina Vega – Code of Silence to Vega

Shelton Benjamin b. Daniel Bryan – Paydirt

Asuka b. Peyton Royce – Asuka Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2004
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I can get through this. The last few weeks have been some of the most dreadful wrestling shows I can remember in a long time so I’m hoping that things are at least marginally better this time around. I’m not sure what you can expect here, but it’s hard to imagine the show getting much worse. You know, because saying that has never gotten me in trouble before. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle, in a leg cast and a wheelchair (pushed by a rather intimidating looking man) to open things up. After a little effort, Angle and his wheelchair (with a red white and blue back in the pattern of the French flag) are brought into the ring for a chat. Angle is rather emotional and says that he’ll never wrestle again because his knee is injured beyond repair.

The fans seem rather pleased with the news and Angle makes it better by saying his internal injuries are irreversible. His life is all over but nothing was going to stop him from being here tonight. The one thing he knows for sure is that the people are to blame for all of his problems. He came out here and the fans chanted YOU SUCK. Angle thought the circumstances would make things different but the people harbor this sick environment. He shouldn’t be alive and now he’s being ridiculed.

This is Big Show and Torrie Wilson’s fault so Angle demands that she come out here, without music. Angle blames her for all of this and tells the man (named Luther) to bring her over here. It must be nice to be perfect like her but she’s pathetic. Due to what she did, Angle can’t even have sex with his wife while she parades around all perfect. Therefore, he’s changing the rules on her as well. Tonight, her match with Rene Dupree is now No DQ.

Rene Dupree vs. Torrie Wilson

No DQ and Fifi is black this week. Dupree waistlocks her down to start so Torrie gets in a sunset flip. A bunch of slaps just make Rene slam her and here’s John Cena to go after Dupree for the no contest in about a minute. What a great use of TV time this was and we’re only about a fourth of the way through the show.

Post break and post recaps, Rene rants to Angle and gets a US Title shot at Judgment Day.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Post match Jr. says he’s bored and needs new competition. Therefore, next week, anyone who wants one can have a title shot, provided he’s never beaten them before.

We look back at the Dudleys turning on Rob Van Dam last week and Paul Heyman declaring it a good start.

Here’s a serious Van Dam for a chat. He wants the Dudleys out here right now but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says it wasn’t personal last week because Van Dam just happened to be in the ring. It could have been Vince McMahon himself because it just would have been the same result. Van Dam needs to be care what he wishes for because it’s going to be Heyman’s Dudleys, not the lovable ones. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd and the beatdown is on until Eddie Guerrero makes the save.

Booker T. is ready to slap the dead off the Undertaker.

Heyman leaves Angle’s office and tonight it’s the Dudley (which is going to mean Bubba because that’s all that makes sense) vs. Eddie. Egads who looked at last week’s show and thought it was worthy of a sequel? Don’t worry about Van Dam because he’s banned from ringside.

Mordecai is still coming. For some reason, this isn’t on the Network.

Booker T. vs. Billy Gunn

You have Booker T. on the roster and we’re watching JBL and the Dudley Boyz fighting the World Champion. I don’t even know what to say about that so we’ll move on to Cole saying how interesting this is because they’re both great tag wrestlers. Tazz: “It’s a singles match.” Gunn punches away to start so Booker kicks him in the face. A neckbreaker gives Booker two and another kick to the face puts Billy down again. Gunn scores with a suplex and the One and Only (cobra clutch slam) gets two. The Fameasser and the Book End both miss but Booker avoids a Stinger Splash. An ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of kicking and punching here as Booker’s “I’m a star” deal isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. That being said, he does at least have some star power and is a solid upper midcard act, making him one of the better people on this roster. The show is just so weak on talent and Booker is one of the few bright sports.

Post match here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer, though Booker actually stays in the ring. With the ring full of smoke, Booker says this isn’t happening tonight and goes to leave. Instead he grabs the urn and knocks Undertaker down before leaving through the crowd, taking the urn with him.

Post break, Angle makes Undertaker vs. Booker for Judgment Day. Neither Angle nor Undertaker have wrestled since Wrestlemania, but Angle can’t do it ever again. Undertaker doesn’t appreciate that so next week, he’s wrestling a to be announced opponent. Angle as the bitter boss isn’t quite working yet.

Raw ReBound. I wouldn’t point out how much better that show was than this one.

Rico and Jackie have stolen Charlie Haas’ trunks so Charlie has to wrestle in Rico’s gear. The words “come out” are used over and over.

Shawn Michaels and company welcomed some troops home in Texas. This goes on for awhile.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging and Charlie is in Rico’s gear. It’s funny you see. Doug makes Danny start with Rico with Rico blowing him a kiss. A lockup lets Rico get in a few spanks as Charlie is nearly sick. Doug comes in and get ridden around, followed by Charlie coming in and winding up behind him in the exact position you would expect. Rico spanks him a few more times and Doug runs away as Charlie looks sicker than earlier. The fans want home state Charlie in so Rico “comically” brings him in.

Danny makes a blind tag and sends Charlie into the post as the match turns into something normal for once. The Bashams start working on the arm with Doug driving his shoulder into Charlie’s until a backdrop gets Haas out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Rico for the variety of kicks to the head. Tazz: “Shades of Bruce Lee there.” Charlie tags himself and Rico kisses Danny into a German suplex to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Jim Cornette is crying over this one and I can’t say I blame him. He spent years turning these guys into stars down in OVW and this is what they get on the main roster. I’m still somewhat convinced that WWE decided to ruin these guys for the sake of annoying him/showing that they’re smarter than their own developmental. How else can you make sense of people like Rico or what the Bashams were just a few months ago?

We look back at Dupree and Cena earlier.

Judgment Day rundown. All three announced matches.

JBL is in New York to look at the Statue of Liberty and talk about how legal immigrants come to America this way. Eddie Guerrero and his family snuck across the border though and it’s a cancer that must be destroyed. Oh and poor people suck too. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. We have a guy from Texas who brags about how awesome New York City it while pushing ideas that the deep south would probably love, despite not being fans of people from the north, as in New York City. Brilliance!

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Non-title with Heyman and Angle at ringside. D-Von’s early distraction lets Bubba score with a clothesline and the right hands in the corner begin. A headscissors gets Eddie out of trouble and a middle rope crossbody gets two. Bubba ties him in the Tree of Woe for a few loud chops though as Angle smiles evily.

Back up and Eddie sends Bubba outside for the plancha onto both Dudleys as we take a break. We come back with Eddie fighting out of a sleeper but getting punched back into the corner. Bubba gets two off a neckbreaker and grabs a headscissors on the mat of all things. Of course Bubba misses the middle rope backsplash and Eddie hits two of the Three Amigos.

The ref gets bumped and Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for no cover. Another attempt is countered into a DDT to give Eddie two so Heyman gets on the apron. Somehow the referee doesn’t notice D-Von going up for the Doomsday Device but Eddie victory rolls Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was slightly better than last week thanks to being a few minutes shorter and because Bubba is a better singles wrestler than D-Von but it’s still nowhere near good enough to be the main event. On top of that, they’re doing this mini feud with the Dudleys before we get to the JBL match, probably because they know how bad the JBL feud really is. Not a terrible match, but another boring one.

Post match the beatdown is on until Van Dam comes in for the saves. Stereo frog splashes hit the Dudleys and Angle makes the tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, that’s an upgrade. Just having Van Dam joining in at the end gave the show a little bit more of a spark, but having the Dudleys and JBL as the top heel wrestlers is death to the show. The whole show is so boring and there’s nothing that’s going to fix it anytime soon. It’s getting harder and harder to watch the show and things are likely only going to get worse. Just….be better. Please? Like, maybe a decent match for a change? Is that too much to ask for?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 25, 2018
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

With less than two weeks to go before Super Show-Down, a lot of the big feuds are already in high gear. It’s almost like Smackdown has a good idea of how to set up a pay per view rather than just wasting time and having everything else going on at once. The big story is of course Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles for the World Title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with MizTV….as hosted by R-Truth and the now brunette Carmella. This is now Truth TV so Truth wants a WHAT’S UP. Carmella is introduced as the “Andy Richards” to his Conan O’Brien and hypes up Daniel Bryan as the guest. Truth has to read through some cards for his questions and asks about how Bryan took care of Miz and the other Carmella last week. Bryan: “This show is already better than MizTV.” Actually hang on, because we need a seven second dance break.

Truth and Carmella dance, followed by Truth promising an animal segment next. Bryan says last week was cathartic and now he wants to be WWE Champion again. That’s what’s coming at Super Show-Down because Bryan wants to be WWE Champion to prove that he’s the best while Miz wants to win the title so he can say he’s the best. Cue Miz to ask what Truth is doing. Truth says that he beat Miz two weeks ago and Miz didn’t have a title, he’s taking his talk show instead. Miz: “You’re an idiot.” Truth: “I’m an idiot with a talk show!”

Miz doesn’t like Bryan but Bryan always fights fair, which is why he’ll never win. That’s why Miz won at Summerslam and why he’ll win at Super Show-Down. Miz had one idea foiled last week but he has an idea for every minute of every day. If Bryan cheats in Australia, he’ll tarnish his own name and the beliefs of these people.

Truth complains about Miz talking too long and taking away the time from his animal segment. He’ll fight for the show right now, even though Miz says this is his show. Truth: “DANCE BREAK!” Miz goes to the back and rants to Paige about the show being stolen so we’re having a match for the show right now.

The Miz vs. R-Truth

Bryan is on commentary. Truth runs him over to start and stops to dance, with Miz being sent outside for a staredown with Bryan. Miz is knocked outside again and goes after Carmella, earning a clothesline from Truth. Back in and Truth charges into a boot to the face, followed by the YES Kicks. Bryan actually critiques the kicks and says why they’re not quite the real thing.

A DDT sets up a bow and arrow as Bryan actually praises Miz’s improving wrestling skills. Truth reverses a backslide into one of his own but Miz elbows him in the face as we take a break. Back with Truth hitting some clotheslines and a Stinger Splash, followed by a jawbreaker for two. The Lie Detector gets two but Miz pokes him in the eye, stares at Bryan, and hits a running knee for the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C-. Now, again, consider the difference between Raw and Smackdown’s way of building things. In addition to the obvious Bryan vs. Miz feud, tonight Miz and Asuka are facing Truth and Carmella on Mixed Match Challenge. Last night’s Finn Balor vs. Jinder Mahal match beat you over the head with they Mixed Match hype. This was more subtle, basically saying “hey if you want to see more of this, check out this other show”. That’s far better and more appealing than the Raw method, as it’s not beating you over the head. In other words, much better.

Earlier today, Becky Lynch jumped Charlotte at a photo shoot and demanded that her photos were taken instead. Charlotte has been sent home due to her injuries.

Big E. vs. Sheamus

Before the match, Kofi talks about not taking people seriously sometimes. That’s why before this match, we’ll be having the Say Something Nice Challenge. We’ll start with Cesaro, who has weird nipples and looks like a Swiss Jason Statham, but it’s cool because they like Statham movies. Sheamus’ mohawk is big and weird looking, but the carpet must match the drapes. Sheamus cuts them off and promises of taking the Tag Team Titles are made.

Sheamus jumps Big E. from behind as Graves talks about areola shaming. A hiptoss brings Sheamus to the floor and we take a break. Back with Big E. throwing him with a belly to belly and some hip swiveling. The Warrior Splash hits knees though and Sheamus gets two off a powerslam. The Brogue Kick is countered into a powerbomb for two but the spear through the ropes is countered. Sheamus escapes the Big Ending as well and it’s a Brogue Kick for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to go anywhere but it was a watchable enough power match. Both tag divisions continue to be desperately in need of some switching up though as the Usos have nothing to do and Raw has almost no tag teams of note. You could easily mix things up and get a few better matchups out of the teams but that doesn’t seem likely.

Paige tells AJ Styles not to go too crazy out there during the contract signing.

Lana comes in to see Rusev, who wants answers from Aiden English.

Here are Rusev and Lana for a chat. Rusev calls English a traitor for turning on him on Rusev Day, so English needs to explain himself right now. English comes out to say none of this is his fault. Before they met, Rusev was the super athlete but no one cared about him. We see a clip of Rusev being here a year ago and the rise of Rusev Day since that moment. At Wrestlemania, 70,000 people were chanting their names (true for the most part), but then SHE happened.

We look back at Lana joining the team and everything falling apart. Lana talks about the Wrestlemania XXXI tank (still awesome) and accuses English of riding Rusev’s coattails. English says he knows Lana’s loyalty to her husband, but is she going to tell him about that one night in Milwaukee? That’s good for a mic drop and a HOLY S*** chant from the crowd.

Clip of the Summerslam contract signing between AJ and Joe.

Asuka and Naomi warm up.

Lana tells Rusev she has no idea what English is talking about when Becky comes in to say Milwaukee is a fun town. Trash talking ensues and Becky leaves as Rusev wonders when they were in Milwaukee last. Lana walks away.

The Iiconics are in the ring before the next match but Naomi’s entrance cuts them off before anything can be said.

Asuka/Naomi vs. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose

Instead the Iiconics are on commentary. This is the result of some bickering earlier in the day. Joined in progress with Asuka in trouble and not being able to dive over to Naomi for the tag. That lasts for all of a few seconds until the hot tag brings in Naomi, who is taken down with a forearm to the back. The illegal Asuka hip attacks Mandy to the floor and it’s a double kick to Sonya’s head for the pin at 2:28 shown. Just a warmup for Australia.

Some wrestlers went to a Denver children’s hospital earlier today.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Tye Dillinger

Post match Orton wrecks Dillinger and leaves him laying. Not wanting to feel left out, Nakamura adds Kinshasa.

Rusev tells Lana he believes her saying nothing happened but Lana doesn’t seem happy.

Orton says Tye isn’t his next victim, but he doesn’t like the Perfect Ten thing.

Becky Lynch vs. Lana

Non-title. Becky knocks her down to start but Lana is right back with right hands to the head. That’s enough to send Becky outside and Lana makes the mistake of following her, earning herself a quick beating. Back in and a small package gives Lana two but it’s a Bexploder into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:53. Not quite a squash but close enough.

English promises video proof of what happened in Milwaukee.

Here’s Paige to run the contract signing. AJ comes out and says he’s just here to sign. There’s no Joe, which AJ says isn’t a surprise. Joe pops up on screen and he’s at AJ’s house. That must put a nauseous feeling in AJ’s stomach because there’s nothing he can do, even though Joe promised him to do all this stuff. Joe even has a doll for Annie and AJ is clearly panicking. That’s what Joe wants, and Joe wants that feeling from AJ in Australia. Joe rings the doorbell and says daddy’s home to end the show. This was awesome again, but at some point Joe needs to actually win the title to really make it mean something.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, there’s a goal for almost everything you see here and Smackdown knows how to sprinkle in the fun/entertaining stuff to go with the important series material. I’m looking forward to Super Show-Down, but the more I watch of the build makes me worry that we’re going to be watching another show that means nothing. At least the build has been good this time around, so hopefully we get something good this time around.

Results

The Miz b. R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Big E. – Brogue Kick

Asuka/Naomi b. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose – Double kick to Deville’s head

Tye Dillinger b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Becky Lynch b. Lana – Disarm-Her

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2004
Location: Prospera Palace, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So last week saw what should probably be the death of Kurt Angle after Big Show chokeslammed him off a balcony, breaking both Angle’s head and leg. Other than that we’re still getting ready for JBL’s World Title shot against champion Eddie Guerrero, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the chokeslam with Show suddenly being a slasher movie stalker who threatened to kill Torrie Wilson.

Cole and Tazz list off Angle’s injuries, including a broken leg, a severe concussion and internal injuries. No word on the BIG POOL OF BLOOD under his head? Or is that part of the concussion?

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Thank goodness Booker has dropped the remixed version of his theme and has gone back to the original. Rob dives on him before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. They head inside for the opening bell with Rob nailing the step over spinning kick and choking in the corner. Booker gets sent outside again and comes back inside, only to get clotheslined to the floor one more time.

As Cole continues to panic about the lack of a General Manager tonight (Then who made this match?), Booker gets in his own kick to the face and you can hear the fans lose some of their energy. A chinlock doesn’t last long as Rob breaks it up with a suplex and hits the middle rope kick to the face. Three straight legdrops have Booker in trouble as Rob keeps looking at the entrance. Rolling Thunder connects but some pyro goes off to break up the Five Star. Booker rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was fun while it lasted but this didn’t have the time to go anywhere, especially with the finish. You would think that last week’s DQ and then this week’s cheap finish would set up a pay per view match and it’s not like they have anything else to fill up the Judgment Day card in the first place. Not long enough to go anywhere but the long form match last week wasn’t exactly a classic anyway.

The pyro brings out Paul Heyman, who is in charge for one night only. After a break, he gets in the ring and says that Van Dam has a Thursday night show because Heyman built this show up in the first place. He’s already built up one brand and prostituted its legacy, meaning ECW. Rob would know about that as he’s ruined its legacy more than anyone else.

This brings out the Dudley Boyz with Bubba getting in Heyman’s face, saying that anything Heyman has to say to Rob about ECW can be said to the two of them as well. Heyman says they’ve become self parodies too, which is why he never tried to get the Dudleys on Smackdown.

When they left ECW, they became caricatures of their former selves. When did they do something extreme or newsworthy that people were talking about it the next day? At least Tazz got out of the ring when it was time so they should follow his lead. Now Bubba and D-Von are just Vince McMahon’s domesticated pets. That’s enough to get the Dudleys to beat down Rob with a low blow leaving him laying. Heyman says that was just a good start. You can only be so extreme in yellow camo shorts and Bubba has long since hit that ceiling.

Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. Charlie Haas/???

Scotty and Rikishi are defending and Charlie’s mystery partner is….Rico. Well of course it is because why make Haas into something of value? Rico and Rikishi start and you can almost guarantee that their time as Tag Team Champions won’t be mentioned whatsoever. Rikishi (who looks weird without wrist tape) sends Rico into the corner so Rico bends over in front of him.

Rikishi does the same so Rico tries a waistlock, which freaks the big man out. For some reason Rico tries a sunset flip so Rikishi spanks himself, only to have Rico do it as well. It’s off to Scotty and that means some ballroom dancing. Scotty tries to skin the cat and gets spanked as well before it’s off to Charlie with a limp wristed tag. Things settle down a bit until Charlie gets crotched on the post (Cole: “Rico’s not gonna like this!”). A double noggin knocker puts Charlie in even more trouble but Rico’s distraction lets him send Scotty into the buckle.

Rico comes back in for a suggestive rollup and gets kicked to the corner for a tag right back to Charlie. A few clotheslines send Charlie into the corner for the Stinkface….but Rico takes his place, making sure to put on Jackie’s lip balm first. Rikishi obliges and Rico needs a cigarette. Scotty loads up the Worm but Rico kisses him as Jackie grabs Rikishi from behind. The distracted Scotty gets rolled up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. This was as good as it was going to be and the “comedy” was still unfunny. To be fair though, it’s not like the titles had any value in the first place so putting them on another makeshift comedy team isn’t exactly a death sentence. Just get them onto the Dudleys and be done with it already because they’re the only team of value on the show.

Long recap of Big Show losing his job and then his mind before Angle lost his healthy leg and a lot of blood.

JBL apologizes for something that happened earlier today at the airport. Apparently he ran into El Gran Luchador, the Heavyweight Champion of Mexico, and got challenged to a match tonight. The match is next, but first Heyman announces Eddie Guerrero vs. the Dudley. Which one? It doesn’t matter, as they look alike.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. El Gran Luchador

Luchador is a masked man with a Women’s Title painted red, white and green and played by Paul London. JBL shoves him down to start as the fans chant for MEXICO. A right hand puts Luchador down again and a delayed vertical suplex has JBL smiling. Luchador stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot and snaps off a headscissors.

A moonsault press gives Luchador two but JBL throws him down with the Last Call. JBL channels his inner Tito Santana with an ARRIBA, puts out an invisible cigarette on Luchador’s back and powerbombs the heck out of him….for two. He puts the unconscious Luchador’s arm on his chest for two more, followed by the Clothesline From JBL for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was perfect for you fans who have always wanted to see Bradshaw smiling a lot while beating up the most generic luchador this side of a Canadian named Sami. It wasn’t even the worst match I’ve ever seen or anything but it was really boring with the same Bradshaw offense that wasn’t been anything special in the entirety of his time with the APA. I mean, I know he has a radio show but that’s not exactly enough to make up for everything else.

It’s time for the Cafe de Rene with an accordion player and a mini Eiffel Tower. He doesn’t like the fans being happy about Angle’s injuries so it’s time to teach them some class. That brings him to his guest: Torrie Wilson. Tazz: “Hot women, poodles and accordions.” Rene pours her some wine and mentions the Divas Magazine before going into an interrogation about last week.

Why was she laughing about Big Show losing his job? It’s her fault that Angle isn’t here enjoying wine. He gets out of his chair and yells more, saying Torrie is everything wrong with North American women who need men to do everything. A comparison to Fifi is enough to get Rene slapped in the face so he picks her up, drawing in John Cena for the save and wreck the set.

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Jr. starts for the team, which is the best option they have. You know, of the two. Cena slams him down a few times without much effort and it’s already time for a breather. Back in and Cena scores with a shoulder but Sr.’s distraction lets Jr. get in a few shots. A knee to the back sets up a dropkick to give Jr. two and it’s Sr. coming in for some stomping.

That’s it for Papa Guerrero as Jr. is back in to work on the ribs. A rather vocal CENA chant doesn’t get him out of trouble as the rapid tagging and forearms to the back continue. Cena fights back without much effort but Sr. breaks up the FU. Sr. takes it instead but Jr. knocks Cena outside. Cue Dupree to post Cena though and it’s a brainbuster to give Jr. the pin.

Rating: D. It wasn’t a clean loss, but my goodness the idea of Dupree getting the first shot at the US Title is a bit much. He really does show how little depth there is to Smackdown at the moment, or maybe just how worthless May’s pay per view is going to be. Cena is exploding at the moment, but he needs something better to do.

In the back, Heyman makes Torrie vs. Dupree for next week.

Mordecai is coming to clean WWE of impurity. He says the day of judgment draws near, which should mean his debut.

Here’s Booker T. for a chat. He’s the biggest star here on Smackdown and every one of the suckers here knows it. Those same suckers who cheered him just a few months ago are now asking him why. He went from being a star on Raw to being a mega star here on Smackdown. Now it’s time to bring everyone up to his level because he’s the best thing ever on Smackdown. Pretty soon he’ll be the most famous man in America….and there goes the gong. Booker shows off his intelligence and bails through the crowd without Undertaker actually appearing.

Raw ReBound.

We recap the Tag Team Title change.

Rico is very happy with the titles and grabs a handful of Charlie. He thinks it was Jackie, but then realizes what really happened.

Eddie Guerrero vs. D-Von Dudley

Non-title with Heyman at ringside. Which Dudley it was is treated as a big deal with Bubba starting but D-Von jumps Eddie from behind to actually wrestle the match. You know, because it totally matters here. A backdrop puts Eddie down and a trip to the floor lets Bubba get in a clothesline.

Back in and a delayed suplex gives D-Von two, followed by the neck crank. It’s almost like D-Von has nothing special for offense and shouldn’t be in a long form singles match. Eddie low bridges him to the floor where Bubba offers a distraction, setting up the double countout. And never mind as before I can finish typing that, Heyman says we’re still going. Cole: “This atrocity is going to continue!” Dude it’s been about five minutes and Eddie wasn’t exactly hanging on by his fingertips.

We take a break and come back with Eddie suplexing his way out of a belly to back suplex. A super hurricanrana gives Eddie two but D-Von gets his neckbreaker out of the corner. The sleeper goes on and Bubba yells at fans. With Heyman standing in front of commentary, Cole talks about how Heyman hasn’t said a word all match….as he’s talking to Bubba. It takes talent to be as stupid as Cole really is.

Eddie finally gets out of the sleeper and avoids a middle rope elbow but D-Von is right there to break up the frog splash. A superplex gives D-Von two but Eddie starts his dancing comeback. The interfering Bubba is brought in so D-Von grabs a small package with Bubba holding the foot to pin Eddie. This would be the second match in a row where a champion is pinned thanks to interference.

Rating: D. I feel like I need a nap after watching that match. D-Von is part of a tag team for a reason: he’s not very interesting on his own. There’s not much that Eddie can do when his opponent’s big move in a fifteen minute match is a neckbreaker. I’m not sure why the Dudley Boyz are supposed to be the new monster team, as it’s just them with a heel turn. I need a lot more than that.

Post match JBL comes in to powerbomb Eddie. The Clothesline From JBL ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. That main event is a great allegory for the whole show’s problems right now. There is talent on the roster but they need better people to work with them. Cena vs. Dupree, Eddie vs. JBL and the less entertaining version of Too Cool vs. the latest oddball combination isn’t exactly my idea of a good show. There’s nothing on here worth seeing and I’m really not sure I see that changing for a very long time. Sometimes you’ll see a show rise up to overcome its lack of talent but this one ran in the other direction and was dragged down. Horrible week and one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen from Smackdown.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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