IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 9, 2018
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

With Australia behind us, it’s time to get ready for the return to Saudi Arabia. That means qualifying matches for the World Cup of Wrestling, the latest tournament because the more than dozen plus that we’ve had this year already aren’t enough. Other than that we have the build towards Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles for the Smackdown World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Becky is defending and can lose the title via DQ. They’re in the ring for the Big Match Intros with neither getting an entrance so they’re starting fast. Becky works on a wristlock to start before raking Charlotte’s eyes across the top rope. A legdrop sets up the strut from Becky but she misses the spinning version, allowing Charlotte to roll her up for two. They clothesline each other but it’s too early for the Disarm-Her.

Instead Charlotte hits a dragon screw legwhip, only to be taken down into an armbar. Becky gets catapulted into the corner for a trip to the floor, which of course means a dive to take us to a break. Back with Charlotte being slammed off the top for two as Becky works on the arm some more. Charlotte chops away and grabs a belly to back suplex for a double knockdown.

Lynch gets crotched on top but manages to roll off into a cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into a sitout powerbomb and we take a second break. Back again with Becky trying to walk out but coming back in and throwing the belt down. That leads to an argument that doesn’t get us anywhere, so it’s an exchange of rollups, followed by a spear to put Becky on the floor.

Charlotte misses the moonsault though and the Bexploder gets nine. Becky follows her out and gets Bexploded as well, followed by Natural Selection back inside. Charlotte can’t cover though as Becky rolls outside, leading to another brawl for the double countout at 25:12. That might be a record for the longest one fall women’s match.

Rating: B. They beat each other up here and the ending should set up some kind of gimmick rematch at Evolution. You know, because the way to get any big feud to the next level is to have them fight multiple times in a month and a half. Either way, the draw is the right call here as neither is hurt and Charlotte can say she deserves another rematch.

Post match Charlotte spears Becky through the set. I feel that warrants a new version. Say with a giant fist.

Undertaker will be at SmackDown 1000.

World Cup Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe

So you remember last month when Hardy had that big bump in the Cell and looked to be gone for a long time? Well he was gone less than a month instead. Both guys get videos about themselves, almost as if we’re seeing them for the first time. Hardy goes after Joe’s banged up knee to send him outside and we take a break.

Back with Joe elbowing him in the face and putting on e neck crank. Jeff fights up and drops the legs between the legs to send Joe outside again. Joe’s bad knee is sent into the steps and Hardy hammers away at it back inside. Hardy pounds away on it….and the referee stops the match due to Joe’s injury at 7:52.

Rating: C-. What a bizarre ending as Joe was still moving around and you’ll see worse injuries in other matches. I guess the idea is to protect Joe from another loss and that’s all well and good, but how about YOU DON’T BOOK HIM IN A MATCH WHERE HE’S GOING TO LOSE? If you want Hardy in the tournament, just have him beat someone else to qualify. Or do what you did with Cena and put him in the tournament without a win.

Video on Randy Orton. Are these just filler videos or is this some kind of season premiere?

Video on Evolution, who will be making their Smackdown debut next week.

Paige makes Becky vs. Charlotte at Evolution in a Last Woman Standing match.

It’s time for MizTV. Miz promises to remain professional tonight with his guests, AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan. AJ comes out first and Miz asks about a slightly less intimidating opponent. Miz: “If he comes to your house, he’ll tend your garden.” Bryan comes out and shakes AJ’s hand, which Miz doesn’t care to see. Bryan asks if Miz would rather talk about their match, because it shouldn’t take very long.

When asked about how this is going to be different, A talks about making sure this is going to stay in the ring. Miz: “With that, you’re saying you’re better than everyone.” Bryan doesn’t buy it and says he’s glad AJ thinks he’s the better wrestler. See, Bryan wants to beat a worthy champion and AJ has defended his title for over 300 days. That makes him more excited to win, because he knows he can beat AJ. Styles says no offense, but Bryan hasn’t faced any phenomenal opponents since he came back. You mean save for his first singles match back.

Bryan calls Miz the two minute man (AJ: “That’s what I’ve heard for years.”) and says this is what he fought to come back from retirement to do. His dream is to come back and be WWE Champion again. AJ gets out of his chair and asks how good it feels to punch Miz in the face. That’s enough for Miz to go to the apron and say that the small package was a fluke because his shoulder was up. Paige won’t give him a rematch so Miz goes on a rant about Bryan stealing the title and AJ making the title irrelevant. He’ll be waiting on the winner of the title match, which the fans seem to approve. AJ has a match tonight so good luck.

Shelton Benjamin vs. AJ Styles

Non-title with Miz and Bryan on commentary. Shelton takes him down to start and puts on a quickly broken chinlock. Benjamin gets one off a backdrop as Miz and Bryan bicker about the upcoming title match. AJ enziguris him down but can’t hit the Clash as Shelton muscles him up into a suplex.

That’s reversed as well but Shelton hits a jumping knee to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. AJ gets sent into the barricade and we take a break. Back with AJ scoring off an electric chair drop to put them both down. The Calf Crusher goes on but Benjamin is too close to the ropes. AJ is right back up with the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 8:20.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match with Shelton being built up last week and then losing just a week later. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s the kind of match that has been done for years. AJ and Bryan competing against each other with the same opponents perfectly fine and it’s a good story to send them into their title match.

Video on Big Show.

Here’s Aiden English to show the other half of One Night In Milwaukee. Or the Director’s Cut actually, which they haven’t mentioned until now. Lana says she wants him….to know how important he is to Rusev. He’s done so much for Rusev’s career and she just wanted him to know. English thanks her and moves towards her as the camera freezes again. Back in the arena, English wants Rusev to come out here.

English offers to destroy the video if Rusev will kick Lana to the curb and reunite the team. Lana comes out as Rusev slowly walks towards English without saying anything. Rusev finally says he wants to see the full tape, but English says no man should ever have to see that. Lana has no problem playing the full tape because she hacked English’s phone. Apparently his password is I Heart Rusev.

The full version shows English coming onto her and getting shot down with nothing happening. English says they got him but the offer is still on the table. When she gets tired of those Rusev Days, come treat yourself to an Aiden night. Rusev charges and is smart enough to run where English is heading, allowing him to get in a few shots before English gets away. Well that was rather disappointing. Good segment, but it just came and went in a few weeks.

Rey Mysterio is confirmed to return next week in a World Cup Qualifying Match against Shinsuke Nakamura. Egads man. Really?

World Cup Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Show is looking slimmer than I’ve seen him in a long time. Orton gets shoved to the floor early on and we take a fast break. Back with Orton hitting a short DDT and putting on a chinlock. Show fights up with some clotheslines but Orton dropkicks the hip, setting up the hanging DDT for two. A spear gets Show out of trouble for the same and the fans think he still has it. The chokeslam gets two more but Orton bails before the KO Punch. Orton is smart enough to hit a thumb to the eye into the RKO for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: D-. That’s it? That’s the big post pay per view main event? A match that would have been a waste of a house show main event? For the sake of that nothing tournament that is just there for the sake of a trophy? You really can’t do anything better than this for a main event? Bringing Show back for a ten minute match where it’s a lot of chinlocking and clotheslines? Good grief.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries this as far as it can go but the rest, save for the Bryan/Styles segment, was a bunch of drek. So much of this was dedicated to that tournament and those weird hype videos for people we already know. I’m not sure what they were going for here and I’m more than willing to write it off as the results of jet lag. If next week is back to normal than fine, but I really hope this isn’t the new style they’re using for the show.

Results

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch went to a double countout

Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe via referee stoppage

AJ Styles b. Shelton Benjamin – Phenomenal Forearm

Randy Orton b. Big Show – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Judgment Day and….well I haven’t actually watched the show in a good while as I stockpiled a bunch of reviews before I went on vacation. That was by design, as I tried to block out most of what was going on with this show. JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero is still coming up and that’s not exactly something I want to think about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Michael Cole is in the ring to talk about Eddie Guerrero’s mother having a heart attack at an El Paso house show. Eddie had finished his match and invited his family into the ring, which was followed by tragedy. Since it’s so sad, let’s see a video of the whole thing. Eddie invited some women into the ring, starting with his wife Vickie (one of her first appearances), his daughters, and finally his mother, the latter of whom gets a rather long and glowing introduction.

Eddie presents her with a bouquet of roses, which brought out JBL, who must be a fan of lilies. The big clothesline takes Eddie out and JBL yells at the mother, who collapses in a heart attack that Fritz Von Erich would find to be a little much. Medics come out as Eddie chases JBL off to finally wrap this up.

Back in the arena, Cole and Tazz are rather somber, with Tazz even taking his sunglasses off.

John Cena vs. Doug Basham

Non-title. Before the match, Cena makes his usual gay jokes, this time at Doug’s expense. Oh and the Bashams are like Mary-Kate and Ashley. It takes a good minute into the match to have Cena throw his jersey into the crowd. Cole goes from talking about Cena’s Deez Nuts joke to Eddie’s mom having a heart attack, showing that great broadcasting ability. Cena slugs him into the corner to start until Doug scores with an elbow to the jaw. Danny trips Cena up for bad measure and Doug slaps on a sleeper. The belly to back suplex gets Cena out of trouble and it’s a pump of the shoes into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick win with some minor odds for Cena to overcome, much like his upcoming match with Rene Dupree. There’s no one for him to fight in the midcard at the moment so while I can appreciate the idea of bringing some people up, there’s going to be a rough transitional period, just like this one. Or maybe it’s just the Bashams and Dupree.

We recap Booker T. attacking Undertaker last week and getting chased off as a result.

To get a chance against the Undertaker, Booker visited a fortune teller. Her advice to deal with the evil shadow: find things for him, starting with dirt from the grave with no name. Oh this is going to be a rough one.

Here are Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Sr. (now dubbed Chavo Classic) with the latter talking about how sad he is at his mother’s heart attack. Jr. is wanting to face everyone, so tonight it’s an open challenge for a title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Jacqueline is challenging because Paul London, Tajiri, Rey Mysterio, Brian Kendrick and probably half a dozen other people aren’t around for the sake of this angle. The Guerreros mock her for being a woman and want the real challenger out here instead. Jr. says this wouldn’t be fair because no man can beat him, so what chance does she have? She can either do, ahem, something else to him or make some sandwiches.

A slap starts the match and Chavo takes her down into an armbar without much effort. Jacqueline is up with a headscissors and a dropkick but Chavo belly to backs the heck out of her. Classic offers a distraction though and it’s a low blow into a rollup to give Jacqueline the pin and the title. So that happened. Anyone care? At all? At least Classic’s stunned face is funny.

The FBI is in the ring so here’s Kurt Angle to talk about how he thought last week’s negative crowd reaction in Oklahoma City was just a one off mistake. All the fans couldn’t possibly boo someone who has sacrificed as much as he has over the years. No matter how many people dislike him, he’s still the General Manager of this show. That’s why tonight, Undertaker is facing the FBI.

Undertaker vs. FBI

Just Stamboli and Nunzio to be destroyed here. Cole says he’s been having debates with a lot of people about whether Undertaker is alive or dead. I’m sure you have Cole, and odds are they’re at the airport. Undertaker cleans house to start and kicks Stamboli in the face. With Nunzio coming back up off the floor, Old School is broken up so Undertaker beats on Stamboli instead.

Post match Undertaker destroys both guys because he’s the Undertaker and they’re the FBI.

Booker finds the grave (good thing it was in the same city) and takes some of the dirt. After Booker leaves, a gloved hand pops out of the ground. Uh….yeah.

We look at the heart attack angle again, though thankfully a shorter version which still clocks in at longer than an Undertaker entrance.

Josh Matthews asks Eddie if he blames himself for the heart attack and Eddie’s glare sends Josh running off. Good. Keep going.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Well what else are you going to use to follow up an elderly woman having a heart attack and her son having an emotional breakdown? Rene Dupree is at ringside. Apparently Torrie is still being blamed for Angle’s injuries because she ticked Big Show off so much. Dawn kicks her down for an early two as Rene eerily stares at Torrie. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off and Torrie goes face first into it, only to come back with a clothesline.

The swinging neckbreaker, as in the only move Torrie can do, gets two and a high crossbody gets the same, despite Rene’s failed interference. Cue Cena to even things up and the fight is on as the match is thrown out somewhere in there. The stuff with the women was terrible and Cena vs. Dupree was slightly less terrible.

Dupree beats Cena up and takes him inside for a ram into the exposed buckle. Cena gets posted as well and a powerbomb puts him through the announcers’ table. Well, that’s better than giving Eddie’s mother a heart attack.

Back from a break and apparently Dupree beat him up even more during the commercial.

Pay per view rundown. With ten days to go before the show, you should probably have a fourth match announced.

JBL joins us from New York to deny all responsibility for the heart attack because he was just asking her to leave. Eddie had no right to bring his family into JBL’s place of business because it wasn’t bring your family to work day. There’s no need for an apology because the woman has already outlived her days. If Eddie wants to do something like that, he has to take responsibility for the consequences.

JBL isn’t here tonight to give Eddie a break but that won’t be the case next week. Oh and Eddie’s mom probably faked it because she taught Eddie to lie, cheat and steal. We get the illegal immigrant stuff to wrap it up. This story is still lame, mainly because it’s still Bradshaw trying to be intimidating.

Paul Heyman comes up to Angle and talks about Eddie being emotional. If Eddie explodes in the tag match main event, it’s going to be on Angle’s head. Angle agrees so Luther Reigns is tasked with going to find an unnamed replacement.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/???

D-Von comes in and gets hurricanranaed, followed by a kick to the face to keep him in trouble. Bubba gets smart by grabbing Rob from the apron but gets kicked down for his efforts. Rey comes in for a 619 attempt, only to be tripped down by Bubba. Things slow down with Bubba yelling at Rey and punching him down for a bonus. A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble and a springboard bulldog is good for two.

D-Von uses a quick distraction to crotch Rey against the post though and we take a break. Back with D-Von holding Rey in a chinlock but slipping out of a suplex attempt. The hot tag to Van Dam is broken up though and double teaming ensues. Rey slips out again and now the hot tag works just fine. Van Dam’s top rope kick to the face gets two on D-Von and everything breaks down.

The split legged moonsault hits D-Von for two more with Bubba making the save. Rey’s springboard is pulled out of the air but Van Dam breaks up What’s Up. The Five Star misses D-Von so Rob enziguris him into the 619 instead. A Rolling Thunder/Dropping the Dime combination is good for the pin, because that’s the way to get over a suddenly angry act like the Dudleys.

Rating: C+. That’s one of the best Smackdown matches in far too long and that shows a lot of the problems with the show at the moment. This was built up as one of the major matches on the show and then they change it at the last minute, leaving us with a good match but not the one that they advertised. The Dudleys continue to be their same old selves though, and that’s not good for the spot they’re supposed to be in.

Post match the Dudleys beat the winners down until Eddie runs in for the save with a chair. Eddie throws the referee outside and starts swinging, including a shot to the referee and another to Van Dam. Bubba (already bleeding) and D-Von take second shots to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of short matches, Jacqueline as Cruiserweight Champion instead of making someone into a new star (you know, like they did last year), and the heart attack angle are a little too much for the only so good main event to make up for. It’s such a dark time for Smackdown at the moment and unfortunately I don’t see that changing for a very, very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 2, 2018
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

With less than a week before the big show in Australia, most of the card is set. Tonight you can expect a heavy dose of Miz vs. Daniel Bryan, as the other Smackdown main event of AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe is all but set. That won’t stop WWE from talking about the Raw matches non stop though, as Undertaker vs. HHH is by far and away the real main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Paige to open things up. She talks about how serious everything is between AJ and Joe at the moment and we see a clip of what happened last week as Joe went to AJ’s house. Paige says nothing happened as authorities were called and got there in time (you know, to the middle of nowhere where AJ probably lives). Now that brings us to tonight, where Joe has been charged with trespassing and should be fired, but AJ doesn’t think so. AJ wants to get his hands on Samoa Joe instead and he’s dropping the charges.

The match is on, and here’s a clip from AJ, who is at his house instead of at the show. He’s not in the right frame of mind to perform tonight because this is bigger than WWE. AJ is at his house tonight and is staying there until he knows Joe is on a plane to Australia. He needs to be there because his kids are waking up in the middle of the night, checking their closets for Uncle Joe. This has to end because Joe isn’t leaving the land down under. AJ is going to bury him alive. That sounds like the big blowoff to the feud, but Joe almost has to win at this point. Do you want to treat him like you did Nakamura?

R-Truth/Carmella vs. Andrade Cien Almas/Zelina Vega

The women start things off with Vega throwing Carmella down and mocking the moon walk. That earns her a dropkick so Carmella can show us the real thing, followed by some shouting. Something like a crucifix hold over the middle rope keeps Carmella in trouble and it’s off to the men so we can get the Almas/Vega tranquilo pose.

Truth and Carmella do their own shared splits pose before scaring Vega and Almas to the floor. We pause for the dance break until Truth falls for a distraction, allowing Truth to stomp away. A missed running knee puts Almas on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Truth hitting a leg lariat for a double knockdown.

The diving tag brings in Carmella for her clotheslines and an atomic drop, which feels like a rare thing these days. There’s the Bronco Buster in the corner, followed by a Flatliner for two. Carmella isn’t pleased with Almas for making the save so she tries a superkick on him instead. Truth clotheslines Almas to the floor and hits a dive, leaving Vega to roll her up for two. The Code of Silence makes Vega tap at 9:54.

Rating: D+. Well at least Almas didn’t lose. I know that this is all about pushing Mixed Match Challenge but egads this is what they’re doing with Carmella? As in the woman who beat Charlotte and Asuka over the summer? At least Truth and Carmella are funny, which is about all you can expect from these two at the moment.

Tye Dillinger tells Paige that he wants Randy Orton but she points out the lack of Jeff Hardy since his match with Orton. Paige: “I will never understand men.” The match is made for tonight.

Here’s New Day and it’s time for the debut of their cooking show. Big E. tries to thank ICOPRO for sponsoring them but Woods cuts him off to talk about their title match against the Bar in Australia. Kofi thinks that means they need a strong dose of positivity, so they introduce their pancake chef. Tonight we’re going to learn his special recipe but here’s the Bar to interrupt. Sheamus introduces Cesaro, who knows a thing or two about making pastries.

Apparently he’s known as Chef back home, but Sheamus knows a better way to bake things. The table is turned over and the fight is on with Sheamus throwing flour into Kofi’s face to break up the Midnight Hour. Big E. goes shoulder first into the post and a double backbreaker hits Kofi. That’s not enough though as they fill in the chef’s hat with batter and put it back on his head. The rest is poured over him in the least surprising ending in a long time.

Tye Dillinger vs. Randy Orton

Dillinger jumps him in the aisle and the referee waits on the floor as the fight heads inside. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Tye drops him back first onto the announcers’ table. Orton hits him with the steps before putting Tye’s finger inside the hook that connects the turnbuckle to the post. The finger is bent around and Tye is in trouble until Orton finally lets it go. No match.

The Miz gives Shelton Benjamin a pep talk before Benjamin faces Daniel Bryan tonight. Apparently Miz got him the match but Shelton doesn’t seem impressed. Miz keeps talking about what Benjamin needs to do tonight until Shelton is all fired up, saying that this is the chance he’s been waiting for. They do shake hands though.

Aiden English wants the production truck to be ready to show his video about what happened with Lana in Milwaukee.

Here are Rusev and Lana to see this video. Rusev doesn’t like hearing something like this about his wife and now he wants to tear English apart. English comes out and says he has the evidence, but first: some backstory. Milwaukee is the largest city in Wisconsin and borders two of the Great Lakes. Lana says he’s stalling but English goes on to talk about the films and TV series that have been filmed in the city.

English finally shows us the clip, which is him in his hotel, practicing his song into the camera. Lana comes in to say she wants him. That’s the end of the clip, though English says there’s more that he’s not allowed to show. English is also considering an offer from TMZ and he wouldn’t want to, ahem, CHEAT ON THEM. Rusev charges up the ramp and chases English off. More on this later I’m sure, and I’m actually kinds of intrigued.

We see a clip of the end of last night’s show with the Brothers of Destruction beating up HHH and the suddenly bald Shawn Michaels.

Post break, Rusev hunts English (who is apparently very fast) when Lana cuts him off. He says they’re not doing this here and walks away, leaving Lana looking distraught.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shelton Benjamin

Whoa, a match. Miz is on commentary as Shelton runs Bryan over to start. A gutbuster gives Benjamin two as Miz talks about the opportunities he’s given everyone over the years. Bryan gets in some right hands and slaps on the YES Lock, sending Benjamin straight to the ropes. They head outside with Benjamin whipping Bryan’s ribs into the barricade and apron over and over to Miz’s delight.

Back from a break with Bryan missing the Swan Dive and getting caught in a bearhug. Bryan finally drives him into the corner and hits a running dropkick, only to eat a running knee to the ribs. A bridging German suplex gives Benjamin two but he misses the Dragon Whip. Bryan loads up the running knee but has to knock Miz off the apron. Paydirt gives Benjamin the big upset at 9:12.

Rating: C+. I’m surprised to say this, but good. Shelton looked awesome out there and it’s a good idea to give him a win. Bryan is going to be fine for his match at Super Show-Down and this works as a way to advance the angle. Shelton gets something out of the win and Bryan is damaged coming into Saturday. Makes perfect sense.

Post match Miz wrecks Bryan even more, including dropping the ribs on the announcers’ table and hitting the Skull Crushing Finale.

Clip from Raw of the Shield being taken out by Braun Strowman and company.

Naomi is in the ring for the Susan G. Komen video. Some women from the organization and cancer survivors are here, including Dana Warrior.

Peyton Royce vs. Asuka

Before the match, Peyton and Billie Kay debut their Aussie Floss dance. Graves: “I’ve got nothing on that one.” Joined in progress with Asuka getting kicked in the ribs until a rollup gives Asuka two. A middle rope dropkick misses to give Peyton two more and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Asuka hits the middle rope dropkick for two of her own, followed by a kneebar into an ankle lock. Naomi and Billie cancel each other out, leaving Asuka to win with the Asuka Lock at 3:34.

Rating: D. Same match they always have with Royce having no chance to actually beat Asuka because Asuka is that much better. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to care about the match in Australia because the Iiconics are still annoying, but now they’re going to be annoying in front of a bunch of people who sound like them. That’s not an interesting story, though there isn’t a story here in the first place.

Here’s Becky Lynch for her surprise before Saturday. Becky talks about how she’s learned you can’t be nice around here without getting stabbed in the back. We get a clip of the history of Lynch and Charlotte, which only makes the fans cheer for her all the more. Becky wants to know where her new action figure or magazine covers are while she has to watch Charlotte get a photo shoot. Becky has a new poster of Super Show-Down, featuring Becky standing over Charlotte and holding up the title. Cue a ticked off Charlotte to spear Becky and put her in the Figure Four over the apron. Becky limps off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the show where they had everything set up for Saturday and didn’t have much else to do here. Unfortunately they didn’t have anything to make up for that lack of content and it made for a pretty boring show as a result. Having three matches in two hours isn’t the greatest idea in the world and the show was pretty far below their usual Tuesday efforts. Then again, it’s not like anything on this show remotely compares to Saturday’s main event.

Results

R-Truth/Carmella b. Andrade Cien Almas/Zelina Vega – Code of Silence to Vega

Shelton Benjamin b. Daniel Bryan – Paydirt

Asuka b. Peyton Royce – Asuka Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2004
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I can get through this. The last few weeks have been some of the most dreadful wrestling shows I can remember in a long time so I’m hoping that things are at least marginally better this time around. I’m not sure what you can expect here, but it’s hard to imagine the show getting much worse. You know, because saying that has never gotten me in trouble before. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle, in a leg cast and a wheelchair (pushed by a rather intimidating looking man) to open things up. After a little effort, Angle and his wheelchair (with a red white and blue back in the pattern of the French flag) are brought into the ring for a chat. Angle is rather emotional and says that he’ll never wrestle again because his knee is injured beyond repair.

The fans seem rather pleased with the news and Angle makes it better by saying his internal injuries are irreversible. His life is all over but nothing was going to stop him from being here tonight. The one thing he knows for sure is that the people are to blame for all of his problems. He came out here and the fans chanted YOU SUCK. Angle thought the circumstances would make things different but the people harbor this sick environment. He shouldn’t be alive and now he’s being ridiculed.

This is Big Show and Torrie Wilson’s fault so Angle demands that she come out here, without music. Angle blames her for all of this and tells the man (named Luther) to bring her over here. It must be nice to be perfect like her but she’s pathetic. Due to what she did, Angle can’t even have sex with his wife while she parades around all perfect. Therefore, he’s changing the rules on her as well. Tonight, her match with Rene Dupree is now No DQ.

Rene Dupree vs. Torrie Wilson

No DQ and Fifi is black this week. Dupree waistlocks her down to start so Torrie gets in a sunset flip. A bunch of slaps just make Rene slam her and here’s John Cena to go after Dupree for the no contest in about a minute. What a great use of TV time this was and we’re only about a fourth of the way through the show.

Post break and post recaps, Rene rants to Angle and gets a US Title shot at Judgment Day.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Post match Jr. says he’s bored and needs new competition. Therefore, next week, anyone who wants one can have a title shot, provided he’s never beaten them before.

We look back at the Dudleys turning on Rob Van Dam last week and Paul Heyman declaring it a good start.

Here’s a serious Van Dam for a chat. He wants the Dudleys out here right now but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says it wasn’t personal last week because Van Dam just happened to be in the ring. It could have been Vince McMahon himself because it just would have been the same result. Van Dam needs to be care what he wishes for because it’s going to be Heyman’s Dudleys, not the lovable ones. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd and the beatdown is on until Eddie Guerrero makes the save.

Booker T. is ready to slap the dead off the Undertaker.

Heyman leaves Angle’s office and tonight it’s the Dudley (which is going to mean Bubba because that’s all that makes sense) vs. Eddie. Egads who looked at last week’s show and thought it was worthy of a sequel? Don’t worry about Van Dam because he’s banned from ringside.

Mordecai is still coming. For some reason, this isn’t on the Network.

Booker T. vs. Billy Gunn

You have Booker T. on the roster and we’re watching JBL and the Dudley Boyz fighting the World Champion. I don’t even know what to say about that so we’ll move on to Cole saying how interesting this is because they’re both great tag wrestlers. Tazz: “It’s a singles match.” Gunn punches away to start so Booker kicks him in the face. A neckbreaker gives Booker two and another kick to the face puts Billy down again. Gunn scores with a suplex and the One and Only (cobra clutch slam) gets two. The Fameasser and the Book End both miss but Booker avoids a Stinger Splash. An ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of kicking and punching here as Booker’s “I’m a star” deal isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. That being said, he does at least have some star power and is a solid upper midcard act, making him one of the better people on this roster. The show is just so weak on talent and Booker is one of the few bright sports.

Post match here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer, though Booker actually stays in the ring. With the ring full of smoke, Booker says this isn’t happening tonight and goes to leave. Instead he grabs the urn and knocks Undertaker down before leaving through the crowd, taking the urn with him.

Post break, Angle makes Undertaker vs. Booker for Judgment Day. Neither Angle nor Undertaker have wrestled since Wrestlemania, but Angle can’t do it ever again. Undertaker doesn’t appreciate that so next week, he’s wrestling a to be announced opponent. Angle as the bitter boss isn’t quite working yet.

Raw ReBound. I wouldn’t point out how much better that show was than this one.

Rico and Jackie have stolen Charlie Haas’ trunks so Charlie has to wrestle in Rico’s gear. The words “come out” are used over and over.

Shawn Michaels and company welcomed some troops home in Texas. This goes on for awhile.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging and Charlie is in Rico’s gear. It’s funny you see. Doug makes Danny start with Rico with Rico blowing him a kiss. A lockup lets Rico get in a few spanks as Charlie is nearly sick. Doug comes in and get ridden around, followed by Charlie coming in and winding up behind him in the exact position you would expect. Rico spanks him a few more times and Doug runs away as Charlie looks sicker than earlier. The fans want home state Charlie in so Rico “comically” brings him in.

Danny makes a blind tag and sends Charlie into the post as the match turns into something normal for once. The Bashams start working on the arm with Doug driving his shoulder into Charlie’s until a backdrop gets Haas out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Rico for the variety of kicks to the head. Tazz: “Shades of Bruce Lee there.” Charlie tags himself and Rico kisses Danny into a German suplex to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Jim Cornette is crying over this one and I can’t say I blame him. He spent years turning these guys into stars down in OVW and this is what they get on the main roster. I’m still somewhat convinced that WWE decided to ruin these guys for the sake of annoying him/showing that they’re smarter than their own developmental. How else can you make sense of people like Rico or what the Bashams were just a few months ago?

We look back at Dupree and Cena earlier.

Judgment Day rundown. All three announced matches.

JBL is in New York to look at the Statue of Liberty and talk about how legal immigrants come to America this way. Eddie Guerrero and his family snuck across the border though and it’s a cancer that must be destroyed. Oh and poor people suck too. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. We have a guy from Texas who brags about how awesome New York City it while pushing ideas that the deep south would probably love, despite not being fans of people from the north, as in New York City. Brilliance!

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Non-title with Heyman and Angle at ringside. D-Von’s early distraction lets Bubba score with a clothesline and the right hands in the corner begin. A headscissors gets Eddie out of trouble and a middle rope crossbody gets two. Bubba ties him in the Tree of Woe for a few loud chops though as Angle smiles evily.

Back up and Eddie sends Bubba outside for the plancha onto both Dudleys as we take a break. We come back with Eddie fighting out of a sleeper but getting punched back into the corner. Bubba gets two off a neckbreaker and grabs a headscissors on the mat of all things. Of course Bubba misses the middle rope backsplash and Eddie hits two of the Three Amigos.

The ref gets bumped and Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for no cover. Another attempt is countered into a DDT to give Eddie two so Heyman gets on the apron. Somehow the referee doesn’t notice D-Von going up for the Doomsday Device but Eddie victory rolls Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was slightly better than last week thanks to being a few minutes shorter and because Bubba is a better singles wrestler than D-Von but it’s still nowhere near good enough to be the main event. On top of that, they’re doing this mini feud with the Dudleys before we get to the JBL match, probably because they know how bad the JBL feud really is. Not a terrible match, but another boring one.

Post match the beatdown is on until Van Dam comes in for the saves. Stereo frog splashes hit the Dudleys and Angle makes the tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, that’s an upgrade. Just having Van Dam joining in at the end gave the show a little bit more of a spark, but having the Dudleys and JBL as the top heel wrestlers is death to the show. The whole show is so boring and there’s nothing that’s going to fix it anytime soon. It’s getting harder and harder to watch the show and things are likely only going to get worse. Just….be better. Please? Like, maybe a decent match for a change? Is that too much to ask for?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 25, 2018
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

With less than two weeks to go before Super Show-Down, a lot of the big feuds are already in high gear. It’s almost like Smackdown has a good idea of how to set up a pay per view rather than just wasting time and having everything else going on at once. The big story is of course Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles for the World Title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with MizTV….as hosted by R-Truth and the now brunette Carmella. This is now Truth TV so Truth wants a WHAT’S UP. Carmella is introduced as the “Andy Richards” to his Conan O’Brien and hypes up Daniel Bryan as the guest. Truth has to read through some cards for his questions and asks about how Bryan took care of Miz and the other Carmella last week. Bryan: “This show is already better than MizTV.” Actually hang on, because we need a seven second dance break.

Truth and Carmella dance, followed by Truth promising an animal segment next. Bryan says last week was cathartic and now he wants to be WWE Champion again. That’s what’s coming at Super Show-Down because Bryan wants to be WWE Champion to prove that he’s the best while Miz wants to win the title so he can say he’s the best. Cue Miz to ask what Truth is doing. Truth says that he beat Miz two weeks ago and Miz didn’t have a title, he’s taking his talk show instead. Miz: “You’re an idiot.” Truth: “I’m an idiot with a talk show!”

Miz doesn’t like Bryan but Bryan always fights fair, which is why he’ll never win. That’s why Miz won at Summerslam and why he’ll win at Super Show-Down. Miz had one idea foiled last week but he has an idea for every minute of every day. If Bryan cheats in Australia, he’ll tarnish his own name and the beliefs of these people.

Truth complains about Miz talking too long and taking away the time from his animal segment. He’ll fight for the show right now, even though Miz says this is his show. Truth: “DANCE BREAK!” Miz goes to the back and rants to Paige about the show being stolen so we’re having a match for the show right now.

The Miz vs. R-Truth

Bryan is on commentary. Truth runs him over to start and stops to dance, with Miz being sent outside for a staredown with Bryan. Miz is knocked outside again and goes after Carmella, earning a clothesline from Truth. Back in and Truth charges into a boot to the face, followed by the YES Kicks. Bryan actually critiques the kicks and says why they’re not quite the real thing.

A DDT sets up a bow and arrow as Bryan actually praises Miz’s improving wrestling skills. Truth reverses a backslide into one of his own but Miz elbows him in the face as we take a break. Back with Truth hitting some clotheslines and a Stinger Splash, followed by a jawbreaker for two. The Lie Detector gets two but Miz pokes him in the eye, stares at Bryan, and hits a running knee for the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C-. Now, again, consider the difference between Raw and Smackdown’s way of building things. In addition to the obvious Bryan vs. Miz feud, tonight Miz and Asuka are facing Truth and Carmella on Mixed Match Challenge. Last night’s Finn Balor vs. Jinder Mahal match beat you over the head with they Mixed Match hype. This was more subtle, basically saying “hey if you want to see more of this, check out this other show”. That’s far better and more appealing than the Raw method, as it’s not beating you over the head. In other words, much better.

Earlier today, Becky Lynch jumped Charlotte at a photo shoot and demanded that her photos were taken instead. Charlotte has been sent home due to her injuries.

Big E. vs. Sheamus

Before the match, Kofi talks about not taking people seriously sometimes. That’s why before this match, we’ll be having the Say Something Nice Challenge. We’ll start with Cesaro, who has weird nipples and looks like a Swiss Jason Statham, but it’s cool because they like Statham movies. Sheamus’ mohawk is big and weird looking, but the carpet must match the drapes. Sheamus cuts them off and promises of taking the Tag Team Titles are made.

Sheamus jumps Big E. from behind as Graves talks about areola shaming. A hiptoss brings Sheamus to the floor and we take a break. Back with Big E. throwing him with a belly to belly and some hip swiveling. The Warrior Splash hits knees though and Sheamus gets two off a powerslam. The Brogue Kick is countered into a powerbomb for two but the spear through the ropes is countered. Sheamus escapes the Big Ending as well and it’s a Brogue Kick for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to go anywhere but it was a watchable enough power match. Both tag divisions continue to be desperately in need of some switching up though as the Usos have nothing to do and Raw has almost no tag teams of note. You could easily mix things up and get a few better matchups out of the teams but that doesn’t seem likely.

Paige tells AJ Styles not to go too crazy out there during the contract signing.

Lana comes in to see Rusev, who wants answers from Aiden English.

Here are Rusev and Lana for a chat. Rusev calls English a traitor for turning on him on Rusev Day, so English needs to explain himself right now. English comes out to say none of this is his fault. Before they met, Rusev was the super athlete but no one cared about him. We see a clip of Rusev being here a year ago and the rise of Rusev Day since that moment. At Wrestlemania, 70,000 people were chanting their names (true for the most part), but then SHE happened.

We look back at Lana joining the team and everything falling apart. Lana talks about the Wrestlemania XXXI tank (still awesome) and accuses English of riding Rusev’s coattails. English says he knows Lana’s loyalty to her husband, but is she going to tell him about that one night in Milwaukee? That’s good for a mic drop and a HOLY S*** chant from the crowd.

Clip of the Summerslam contract signing between AJ and Joe.

Asuka and Naomi warm up.

Lana tells Rusev she has no idea what English is talking about when Becky comes in to say Milwaukee is a fun town. Trash talking ensues and Becky leaves as Rusev wonders when they were in Milwaukee last. Lana walks away.

The Iiconics are in the ring before the next match but Naomi’s entrance cuts them off before anything can be said.

Asuka/Naomi vs. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose

Instead the Iiconics are on commentary. This is the result of some bickering earlier in the day. Joined in progress with Asuka in trouble and not being able to dive over to Naomi for the tag. That lasts for all of a few seconds until the hot tag brings in Naomi, who is taken down with a forearm to the back. The illegal Asuka hip attacks Mandy to the floor and it’s a double kick to Sonya’s head for the pin at 2:28 shown. Just a warmup for Australia.

Some wrestlers went to a Denver children’s hospital earlier today.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Tye Dillinger

Post match Orton wrecks Dillinger and leaves him laying. Not wanting to feel left out, Nakamura adds Kinshasa.

Rusev tells Lana he believes her saying nothing happened but Lana doesn’t seem happy.

Orton says Tye isn’t his next victim, but he doesn’t like the Perfect Ten thing.

Becky Lynch vs. Lana

Non-title. Becky knocks her down to start but Lana is right back with right hands to the head. That’s enough to send Becky outside and Lana makes the mistake of following her, earning herself a quick beating. Back in and a small package gives Lana two but it’s a Bexploder into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:53. Not quite a squash but close enough.

English promises video proof of what happened in Milwaukee.

Here’s Paige to run the contract signing. AJ comes out and says he’s just here to sign. There’s no Joe, which AJ says isn’t a surprise. Joe pops up on screen and he’s at AJ’s house. That must put a nauseous feeling in AJ’s stomach because there’s nothing he can do, even though Joe promised him to do all this stuff. Joe even has a doll for Annie and AJ is clearly panicking. That’s what Joe wants, and Joe wants that feeling from AJ in Australia. Joe rings the doorbell and says daddy’s home to end the show. This was awesome again, but at some point Joe needs to actually win the title to really make it mean something.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, there’s a goal for almost everything you see here and Smackdown knows how to sprinkle in the fun/entertaining stuff to go with the important series material. I’m looking forward to Super Show-Down, but the more I watch of the build makes me worry that we’re going to be watching another show that means nothing. At least the build has been good this time around, so hopefully we get something good this time around.

Results

The Miz b. R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Big E. – Brogue Kick

Asuka/Naomi b. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose – Double kick to Deville’s head

Tye Dillinger b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Becky Lynch b. Lana – Disarm-Her

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2004
Location: Prospera Palace, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So last week saw what should probably be the death of Kurt Angle after Big Show chokeslammed him off a balcony, breaking both Angle’s head and leg. Other than that we’re still getting ready for JBL’s World Title shot against champion Eddie Guerrero, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the chokeslam with Show suddenly being a slasher movie stalker who threatened to kill Torrie Wilson.

Cole and Tazz list off Angle’s injuries, including a broken leg, a severe concussion and internal injuries. No word on the BIG POOL OF BLOOD under his head? Or is that part of the concussion?

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Thank goodness Booker has dropped the remixed version of his theme and has gone back to the original. Rob dives on him before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. They head inside for the opening bell with Rob nailing the step over spinning kick and choking in the corner. Booker gets sent outside again and comes back inside, only to get clotheslined to the floor one more time.

As Cole continues to panic about the lack of a General Manager tonight (Then who made this match?), Booker gets in his own kick to the face and you can hear the fans lose some of their energy. A chinlock doesn’t last long as Rob breaks it up with a suplex and hits the middle rope kick to the face. Three straight legdrops have Booker in trouble as Rob keeps looking at the entrance. Rolling Thunder connects but some pyro goes off to break up the Five Star. Booker rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was fun while it lasted but this didn’t have the time to go anywhere, especially with the finish. You would think that last week’s DQ and then this week’s cheap finish would set up a pay per view match and it’s not like they have anything else to fill up the Judgment Day card in the first place. Not long enough to go anywhere but the long form match last week wasn’t exactly a classic anyway.

The pyro brings out Paul Heyman, who is in charge for one night only. After a break, he gets in the ring and says that Van Dam has a Thursday night show because Heyman built this show up in the first place. He’s already built up one brand and prostituted its legacy, meaning ECW. Rob would know about that as he’s ruined its legacy more than anyone else.

This brings out the Dudley Boyz with Bubba getting in Heyman’s face, saying that anything Heyman has to say to Rob about ECW can be said to the two of them as well. Heyman says they’ve become self parodies too, which is why he never tried to get the Dudleys on Smackdown.

When they left ECW, they became caricatures of their former selves. When did they do something extreme or newsworthy that people were talking about it the next day? At least Tazz got out of the ring when it was time so they should follow his lead. Now Bubba and D-Von are just Vince McMahon’s domesticated pets. That’s enough to get the Dudleys to beat down Rob with a low blow leaving him laying. Heyman says that was just a good start. You can only be so extreme in yellow camo shorts and Bubba has long since hit that ceiling.

Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. Charlie Haas/???

Scotty and Rikishi are defending and Charlie’s mystery partner is….Rico. Well of course it is because why make Haas into something of value? Rico and Rikishi start and you can almost guarantee that their time as Tag Team Champions won’t be mentioned whatsoever. Rikishi (who looks weird without wrist tape) sends Rico into the corner so Rico bends over in front of him.

Rikishi does the same so Rico tries a waistlock, which freaks the big man out. For some reason Rico tries a sunset flip so Rikishi spanks himself, only to have Rico do it as well. It’s off to Scotty and that means some ballroom dancing. Scotty tries to skin the cat and gets spanked as well before it’s off to Charlie with a limp wristed tag. Things settle down a bit until Charlie gets crotched on the post (Cole: “Rico’s not gonna like this!”). A double noggin knocker puts Charlie in even more trouble but Rico’s distraction lets him send Scotty into the buckle.

Rico comes back in for a suggestive rollup and gets kicked to the corner for a tag right back to Charlie. A few clotheslines send Charlie into the corner for the Stinkface….but Rico takes his place, making sure to put on Jackie’s lip balm first. Rikishi obliges and Rico needs a cigarette. Scotty loads up the Worm but Rico kisses him as Jackie grabs Rikishi from behind. The distracted Scotty gets rolled up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. This was as good as it was going to be and the “comedy” was still unfunny. To be fair though, it’s not like the titles had any value in the first place so putting them on another makeshift comedy team isn’t exactly a death sentence. Just get them onto the Dudleys and be done with it already because they’re the only team of value on the show.

Long recap of Big Show losing his job and then his mind before Angle lost his healthy leg and a lot of blood.

JBL apologizes for something that happened earlier today at the airport. Apparently he ran into El Gran Luchador, the Heavyweight Champion of Mexico, and got challenged to a match tonight. The match is next, but first Heyman announces Eddie Guerrero vs. the Dudley. Which one? It doesn’t matter, as they look alike.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. El Gran Luchador

Luchador is a masked man with a Women’s Title painted red, white and green and played by Paul London. JBL shoves him down to start as the fans chant for MEXICO. A right hand puts Luchador down again and a delayed vertical suplex has JBL smiling. Luchador stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot and snaps off a headscissors.

A moonsault press gives Luchador two but JBL throws him down with the Last Call. JBL channels his inner Tito Santana with an ARRIBA, puts out an invisible cigarette on Luchador’s back and powerbombs the heck out of him….for two. He puts the unconscious Luchador’s arm on his chest for two more, followed by the Clothesline From JBL for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was perfect for you fans who have always wanted to see Bradshaw smiling a lot while beating up the most generic luchador this side of a Canadian named Sami. It wasn’t even the worst match I’ve ever seen or anything but it was really boring with the same Bradshaw offense that wasn’t been anything special in the entirety of his time with the APA. I mean, I know he has a radio show but that’s not exactly enough to make up for everything else.

It’s time for the Cafe de Rene with an accordion player and a mini Eiffel Tower. He doesn’t like the fans being happy about Angle’s injuries so it’s time to teach them some class. That brings him to his guest: Torrie Wilson. Tazz: “Hot women, poodles and accordions.” Rene pours her some wine and mentions the Divas Magazine before going into an interrogation about last week.

Why was she laughing about Big Show losing his job? It’s her fault that Angle isn’t here enjoying wine. He gets out of his chair and yells more, saying Torrie is everything wrong with North American women who need men to do everything. A comparison to Fifi is enough to get Rene slapped in the face so he picks her up, drawing in John Cena for the save and wreck the set.

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Jr. starts for the team, which is the best option they have. You know, of the two. Cena slams him down a few times without much effort and it’s already time for a breather. Back in and Cena scores with a shoulder but Sr.’s distraction lets Jr. get in a few shots. A knee to the back sets up a dropkick to give Jr. two and it’s Sr. coming in for some stomping.

That’s it for Papa Guerrero as Jr. is back in to work on the ribs. A rather vocal CENA chant doesn’t get him out of trouble as the rapid tagging and forearms to the back continue. Cena fights back without much effort but Sr. breaks up the FU. Sr. takes it instead but Jr. knocks Cena outside. Cue Dupree to post Cena though and it’s a brainbuster to give Jr. the pin.

Rating: D. It wasn’t a clean loss, but my goodness the idea of Dupree getting the first shot at the US Title is a bit much. He really does show how little depth there is to Smackdown at the moment, or maybe just how worthless May’s pay per view is going to be. Cena is exploding at the moment, but he needs something better to do.

In the back, Heyman makes Torrie vs. Dupree for next week.

Mordecai is coming to clean WWE of impurity. He says the day of judgment draws near, which should mean his debut.

Here’s Booker T. for a chat. He’s the biggest star here on Smackdown and every one of the suckers here knows it. Those same suckers who cheered him just a few months ago are now asking him why. He went from being a star on Raw to being a mega star here on Smackdown. Now it’s time to bring everyone up to his level because he’s the best thing ever on Smackdown. Pretty soon he’ll be the most famous man in America….and there goes the gong. Booker shows off his intelligence and bails through the crowd without Undertaker actually appearing.

Raw ReBound.

We recap the Tag Team Title change.

Rico is very happy with the titles and grabs a handful of Charlie. He thinks it was Jackie, but then realizes what really happened.

Eddie Guerrero vs. D-Von Dudley

Non-title with Heyman at ringside. Which Dudley it was is treated as a big deal with Bubba starting but D-Von jumps Eddie from behind to actually wrestle the match. You know, because it totally matters here. A backdrop puts Eddie down and a trip to the floor lets Bubba get in a clothesline.

Back in and a delayed suplex gives D-Von two, followed by the neck crank. It’s almost like D-Von has nothing special for offense and shouldn’t be in a long form singles match. Eddie low bridges him to the floor where Bubba offers a distraction, setting up the double countout. And never mind as before I can finish typing that, Heyman says we’re still going. Cole: “This atrocity is going to continue!” Dude it’s been about five minutes and Eddie wasn’t exactly hanging on by his fingertips.

We take a break and come back with Eddie suplexing his way out of a belly to back suplex. A super hurricanrana gives Eddie two but D-Von gets his neckbreaker out of the corner. The sleeper goes on and Bubba yells at fans. With Heyman standing in front of commentary, Cole talks about how Heyman hasn’t said a word all match….as he’s talking to Bubba. It takes talent to be as stupid as Cole really is.

Eddie finally gets out of the sleeper and avoids a middle rope elbow but D-Von is right there to break up the frog splash. A superplex gives D-Von two but Eddie starts his dancing comeback. The interfering Bubba is brought in so D-Von grabs a small package with Bubba holding the foot to pin Eddie. This would be the second match in a row where a champion is pinned thanks to interference.

Rating: D. I feel like I need a nap after watching that match. D-Von is part of a tag team for a reason: he’s not very interesting on his own. There’s not much that Eddie can do when his opponent’s big move in a fifteen minute match is a neckbreaker. I’m not sure why the Dudley Boyz are supposed to be the new monster team, as it’s just them with a heel turn. I need a lot more than that.

Post match JBL comes in to powerbomb Eddie. The Clothesline From JBL ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. That main event is a great allegory for the whole show’s problems right now. There is talent on the roster but they need better people to work with them. Cena vs. Dupree, Eddie vs. JBL and the less entertaining version of Too Cool vs. the latest oddball combination isn’t exactly my idea of a good show. There’s nothing on here worth seeing and I’m really not sure I see that changing for a very long time. Sometimes you’ll see a show rise up to overcome its lack of talent but this one ran in the other direction and was dragged down. Horrible week and one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen from Smackdown.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 18, 2018
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

We’re past Hell in a Cell now and AJ Styles is still the Smackdown World Champion, despite having tapped to Samoa Joe. That almost guarantees a rematch in Australia next month and that means the title is in jeopardy. Other than that, Becky Lynch won the Smackdown Women’s Title, which isn’t going to make people boo her any more. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on Lynch taking the title from Charlotte.

Here’s the Miz for MizTV to get things going. He starts things off by announcing Miz vs. Daniel Bryan in a #1 contenders match, which was announced weeks ago. His guest this week is Maryse, who apparently was rather hard to get. Miz lists off everything that Maryse has done, though she found beating Brie Bella on Sunday to be the easiest thing in her career. They talk about the reasons neither Brie nor Bryan are really happy for each other and their marriage was one of convenience.

As for something more personal, this is Maryse’s last night on Smackdown. The fans are very happy so Miz calls out Bryan for a fight right now. Cue Bryan, to say you don’t talk about his wife that way. So where was he before Miz called him out? Politely waiting to stand up for his wife’s honor?

Bryan dropkicks Miz, sending him right into Maryse. Everyone panics but Maryse smiles as Miz jumps Bryan. That goes badly as well and Maryse gets dropped off the apron again allowing Bryan to stand tall. This feud still doesn’t have that spark, and it probably has something to do with three big matches taking place in less than two months.

New Day is on a safari for….something not specified.

Post break Bryan says he knew that was coming because Miz wouldn’t call him out without some ulterior motive. In Australia, he’ll punch Miz in the face and punch his ticket to a title shot.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Prelude to the Bar’s Super Show-Down title shot, proving that yes indeed that tournament was a waste of time. Before the match, New Day talks about getting rid of the other day and Big E. goes into an Australian accent, which Woods says is terrible and Kofi finds offensive. Cesaro cuts him off too and we’re ready to go.

Joined in progress with Kofi in trouble as Cesaro works on the knee and an uppercut rocking Kofi for two. An enziguri gives Kofi a breather but Cesaro catches him with a dropkick on top. Kofi sends him outside for a rolling dive (Woods: “I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS BUT IT WAS GOOD!”) and the SOS gets two back inside. That’s enough from Kofi though as the knee gives out and the Neutralizer finishes him off at 3:39.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to help set up the Bar as challengers, because again, that tournament meant nothing and they’re in trouble again because there’s so much stuff going on that they have to rapid fire teams into title shots. Why they couldn’t do a double DQ between New Day and the Bar on Sunday to set up a rematch in Australia eludes me. Just go with something that makes sense so it’s not all screwy.

Rusev blames Aiden English for the loss on Sunday so English rants about Lana behind Rusev’s back. Speaking of behind a back, Lana is behind English’s so the apology begins in short order. She leaves to tell Rusev.

Randy Orton demands that a production guy show him the violent clips from Sunday and asks how those make him feel. More destruction will ensue.

Clip of the ending of AJ vs. Joe from Sunday.

AJ says he got lucky and maybe that was karma catching up with Joe. There’s a rematch in Australia where anything goes and there must be a winner. Tonight though, AJ has to deal with Andrade Cien Almas and he can’t look past him.

Rusev asks English to intro him and says he’ll talk to Lana later.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Nakamura is defending. Feeling out process to start until Nakamura kicks at the leg and says COME ON. An overhead belly to belly throws Nakamura down and it’s time to go to the floor for a breather. Back in and Nakamura kicks him in the face to send us to a break. We come back with Nakamura kneeing his way out of a suplex attempt as English starts up the RUSEV DAY chants, much to Lana’s chagrin.

Rusev fights back with clotheslines and the spinwheel kick, followed by the kick to the back of the head for two. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner hits turnbuckle but he rakes the eyes and hits a middle rope knee to the chest instead. Kinshasa runs into the Machka Kick though but English jumps on the apron to tell Rusev to CRUSH. That’s enough for the distraction so that Nakamura can roll Rusev up to retain at 11:22.

Rating: C-. While the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt, I do have to wonder how WWE has managed to botch Nakamura again. You spent two months setting up his stuff with AJ and now he can manage one or two matches a month without even appearing at the first pay per view after winning the title. Nakamura could have been anyone here and that’s not a good sign for the US Champion.

Post match English jumps Rusev with the microphone and says Happy Rusev Day.

AJ Styles vs. Andrade Cien Almas

Non-title. Almas jumps the champ during his entrance but AJ says ring the bell. That earns him a big boot to the face and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two as we take a break. Back with AJ scoring with a tornado DDT as he still doesn’t even have his shirt off. A spinning back elbow takes Styles down but he’s right back with the fireman’s carry backbreaker and the seated forearm. The Styles Clash is broken up but Almas double moonsault hits knees. Almas is fine enough to catch AJ on the ropes and hits the top rope double stomp to drive him back first onto the apron.

Back from another break with Almas falling to the floor and AJ hitting a slingshot forearm for two more. The Clash is broken up again but Almas is favoring his knee. A springboard missile dropkick sets up double knees in the corner for another two so Almas loads up the hammerlock DDT. That’s reversed into a jackknife cover but AJ backflips into the Styles Clash for the pin at 14:55.

Rating: B-. They clearly have big plans for Almas as you don’t have someone go move for move with Styles and Bryan without wanting to turn him into something special. The ending was awesome and one of those things where you look at Styles do it and then wonder how he pulled that off. Not many people can do that and it’s a big reason why he’s in the spot he’s in.

Post match Samoa Joe jumps AJ but bails into the crowd after raking the eyes.

Asuka vs. Billie Kay

Before the match, Billie and Peyton Royce get in their usual insults to the town and say Asuka’s hair looks like Naomi’s glow. Peyton offers an early distraction so Billie can slap Asuka down and put on the cravate. A big boot gives Billie two but Asuka reverses a suplex into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 1:48. This was on the same level of every Asuka vs. Billie match.

The announcers tell us how to donate to the Red Cross to help Hurricane Florence victims.

Here’s Paige to introduce Becky Lynch for the Championship Celebration. Becky is glad that she’s finally getting the recognition that she deserves but wants Charlotte out here. Charlotte comes out and says Becky was the better woman on Sunday. The thing is Becky gave up a lot to become champion and Charlotte is coming back for it at Super Show-Down. Becky: “I’m sorry, I stopped listening after you said I was the better woman.”

Becky wants Charlotte to put the title around her waist but she’ll settle for being called queen. Charlotte: “B****.” The fight is on with Charlotte being thrown over the announcers’ table and the Disarm-Her going on. The Bexploder leaves Charlotte laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I know I talk about this a lot but it’s almost remarkable how much easier this show is when they don’t hype up three shows at the same time. We’re coming up on Super Show-Down and that was the focus tonight. WWE knows how to set up a regular pay per view and that’s what they have here. That’s all this needed to be and the show was a million times easier to sit through as a result. Good show with mostly good wrestling and angle advancement, which is what this week needed to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 15, 2004
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Is it too much to ask to have more than one big story on the show? Last week saw JBL announced as the new #1 contender in a story that dominated the last two weeks. The second biggest story has been Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam, which feels a long way down the ladder. That’s the main event tonight though so maybe it’s going to get a little better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s big angle, partially set to Steve Blackman’s music for some reason.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to open things up. He’s received about 27 phone calls this week from Kurt Angle (complete with an imitation, with Angle insisting that he DOES NOT suck), demanding an apology. JBL isn’t a great American because of his riches. See, JBL has been trying to pull one over on the fans by saying he’s from New York in his business suits. Eddie looks at him and sees a great American sellout.

JBL’s money doesn’t make him better or smarter than anyone else….and here’s an approved message from JBL on the screen. It’s a campaign style ad focusing on Eddie’s lying, cheating and stealing, which has a small vocal minority. Real Americans need to silence that voice and support a good man like JBL. Eddie says he’s tired of dealing with this same stuff since he became champion and he’s sick of it. Yeah he does all those things but he worked hard to get here. It took him seventeen years to get his first title shot and it wasn’t handed to him in a bogus award ceremony. Now JBL is #1 contender so let’s do it tonight.

Instead here’s Kurt Angle, who doesn’t appreciate any of this. Angle doesn’t appreciate him (how rude) so Eddie can have his title match tonight. Now it’s JBL in the limo to interrupt. He’d love to face Eddie tonight but after a week of shaking hands and kissing babies (and some baby mamas), he’s a little tired so the match can’t take place tonight. Angel agrees and lets JBL have his title match at Judgment Day. Tonight, it’s Eddie vs. Big Show. Eddie is stunned, as am I over this somehow taking nearly eighteen minutes.

Post break Show comes in to see Angle and JBL. He wants to know if he has a WWE Championship match tonight, but that’s a big negative. Show yells at both of them and isn’t happy with being their enforcer. If he can’t beat Eddie tonight, he quits.

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Non-title and there are a lot of Cena signs in the crowd. We have two champions in the ring so the opening commentary is all about Big Show vs. Eddie Guerrero. Cena doesn’t respond well to being slapped in the face and slaps Chavo even harder as the announcers actually notice a match going on.

A headlock and a clothesline keep Chavo in trouble and it’s off to the second headlock on the mat. Chavo sends him outside and Chavo Sr. gets in a cowboy boot to the back of the head. Back in and we hit a camel clutch (continuing the family tradition) for all of five seconds before Cena powers out. A dropkick gives Chavo two but Cena is right back with the running shoulder. The Throwback, followed by taking Sr. out, sets up the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. You would kind of expect something a little better from two champions, but I can’t say I’m surprised that the Cruiserweight Champion was beaten clean in such short order. I could have gone for a botched interference from Sr. or something but it’s not like the Cruiserweight Champion is on the US Champion’s level in the first place.

Video on Booker’s initial complaints about being on Smackdown. It looks like we’ll be going over the whole history to set up the main event. All two weeks of it.

Rene Dupree is having a new romantic dinner with Fifi (a different dog this week) and announces his new interview segment starting next week: Cafe de Rene.

Charlie Haas is warming up when Jamie Noble comes in. Jamie tells him to not worry about amateur wrestling when he faces Rico. It might as well be an intergender match. Charlie isn’t worried so Jamie talks about all the things Rico might do. The final advice: don’t let Rico get you from behind. Nunzio comes in and wishes Haas good luck too.

Rico vs. Charlie Haas

Jobber entrance for Charlie. Rico and Jackie Gayda pose on a mini stage on the way to the ring. We start with some prancing and Charlie is disgusted by an early lockup. Charlie takes him down and shouts about Rico being sick so Rico reverses and starts groping. Rico gets behind him and Charlie bails to the ropes as this is firmly in bad comedy territory.

A sunset flip lets Rico pull the trunks down, meaning more humor. Charlie forearms him in the face and chokes away as the announcers find this hilarious. Rico slips out of a suplex and kisses Haas, who bails to the floor. That’s enough to send Haas bailing to the floor for some water, but Rico pulls up his thong to scare Haas off for the countout.

Rating: F. Hey, did you know that wrestlers who may be gay are “sick” and apparently disgusting? They also seem to be completely incapable of not molesting their opponents, which seems to be the case with every WWE wrestler using the same gimmick. This is always so dumb and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse.

Post match Haas vomits. Fair enough.

JBL promises Show a pizza if he wins but Show says he’s doing this for himself.

A man in a white beard is surrounded by candles and reads a bunch of Bible verses. His name is Mordecai and he’s here to be the right hand of the destroyer. Oh dear indeed. Cool vignette though.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Big Show

Non-title with Show’s career on the line. Show wastes no time in hammering away and a headbutt puts Eddie down. Some tosses send Eddie from corner to corner and there’s a choke for good measure. Eddie gets smart by stomping on the foot but another headbutt keeps him in trouble. Show makes it even worse with the loud chops but a low bridge takes him to the floor.

Eddie dropkicks him down again and we take a break. Back with Show choking on the mat before starting in on the arm. He even gets smart by wrapping Eddie’s arm around the rope. That doesn’t suit Show very well so let’s try a bearhug instead, followed by a big boot. It’s right back to the arm, which really doesn’t seem right coming from Show. Eddie’s comeback is cut off by a clothesline and Show walks around the ring a bit. Now that suits him very well.

Eddie gets knocked outside and finds a wrench under the ring, which he loads into the back of Show’s boot. The referee catches Show pulling it out and the distraction lets Eddie hammer away. Is there a reason why he didn’t distract the referee and hit Show with the wrench? A middle rope tornado DDT puts Show down but the kickout sends Eddie into the referee. With no one looking, Eddie gets in a low blow and another DDT, setting up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: D. Well this didn’t need to be fifteen minutes long to put it mildly. To be fair though, Show was in need of knee surgery (hence him leaving) so he probably wasn’t moving nearly as well as he would have otherwise. Eddie won just as he should have and he did what he could, but there’s a limit to what a hampered Show can pull off.

Post match Eddie leads the fans in an extended Goodbye Song, which seems to hurt Show’s feelings.

Clip of Van Dam winning his first match on Smackdown and Booker being miserable.

Show is leaving and runs into Torrie laughing with the makeup lady. That must be about him so Show gets in her face and leaves. Torrie is terrified and leaves because she doesn’t have a match tonight.

Teddy Long introduces Mark Jindrak, who has the perfect body and the looks of Adonis. Mark looks at himself in a mirror and Teddy calls him the Reflection of Perfection over and over.

Mark Jindrak vs. Spike Dudley

Jindrak throws him into the corner to start and starts talking trash, followed by a pretty impressive dropkick to knock Spike off the top. A delayed one arm vertical suplex keeps Spike down and the belly to back suplex into a side slam finishes him in a hurry. Total squash.

Video of Booker walking out on Van Dam tonight. Do they really need to stretch out a show this much?

Raw ReBound looks at just about everything on the show.

Torrie goes to leave but Show comes up (from the direction that Torrie was looking, though she’s still surprised) and yells at her for laughing. He kicks in the windows of her car as Torrie begs him to calm down. Show breaks more windows and then turns the car over. Torrie runs away screaming and Show very slowly walks after her. Somehow this took nearly five minutes.

In case we didn’t spend enough time on it already, here are two replays of the car being flipped.

Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam

It’s the rare serious Van Dam this week. Rob stomps him down in the corner to start and gets two off a standing moonsault. They head outside with Booker in even more trouble, this time off some kicks to the ribs. The spinning kick to the back knocks Booker off the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Booker hot shotting him for what sounds like his first real offense. Booker hits a neckbreaker and Tazz thinks he’s going after the neck. Even Cole mocks him for making such an obvious observation and Booker drops a knee for two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Van Dam is back up, only to be kicked right back down.

The Book End is blocked and Van Dam hits his step over spinning kick to the face. Rob’s springboard kick to the face gets two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Booker rolls away from the Five Star though and Booker superkicks him into the ropes with Rob’s arms getting tied up. A bunch of right hands actually get Booker disqualified at the five count. You don’t see that every day.

Rating: C-. It was far from great or even very good but at this point I’ll take anything I can get. The feud isn’t quite as big of a deal as WWE seems to think it is, though there’s a story to it that doesn’t revolve around the idea of Rico kissing someone or a cowboy hat, which puts it ahead of a lot of the stuff on this show.

Post match Booker beats on him a little more and does a Spinarooni.

Show has somehow caught Torrie (who was running while he slowly walked) and has her above a conveniently placed ledge. He threatens to throw her off the ledge until Angle shows up. Angle says he’s the one who gets in trouble if something happens to Torrie and violence is threatened. Torrie is allowed to leave so Angle goes after Show, who chokeslams him off the ledge, setting up a loud THUD. We look down and Kurt is unconscious with blood flowing from the back of his head and his leg bent at a rather nasty angle. So that’s it for Show and Angle seems to be close to dead. I guess that’s at least half of a happy ending?

Overall Rating: D-. Another horrible show, this time with the completely stupid Rico match, Torrie running away like the girl in a slasher movie and Angle being nearly murdered. Eddie and Big Show had a horrible match and now we’re gearing up for JBL vs. Eddie in over a month. If Van Dam vs. Booker is as good of a secondary story as they have, it’s going to be a very, very long year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 11, 2018
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

We’re five days away from Hell In A Cell and for the most part the card is already set. That means a lot of setting up the parts of the card that are already established, which can make for some entertaining television. We also get to find out who will be facing the New Day for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with an eleven bell tribute to the victims of 9/11. Nothing wrong with that.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title. Before the match, Hardy talks about being ready to face his demons head on, which is what he’ll be doing on Sunday inside the Cell. Hardy has no fear and on Sunday he’ll unleash his anger to make Randy Orton fade away and classify himself as obsolete. Nakamura bails to the floor at the bell and bites his finger before Hardy knocks him into the barricade. A running dropkick sends Nakamura into the barricade again and we take a break.

Back with Hardy fighting out of a waistlock but getting caught in a cravate. The hard knees put Hardy down and a spinning kick to the head makes things even worse. Hardy scores with a quick Sling Blade but the sitout gordbuster is countered with a knee to the head. The Whisper in the Wind drops Nakamura again but the Swanton is countered with a good crotching.

A running knee to the ribs sends Hardy to the floor and it’s off to another break. Back again with Jeff dropping the legdrop between the legs but getting kicked in the head. Kinshasa misses and Hardy hits the Twisting Stunner. That means the Swanton but here’s Orton for the DQ at 15:24.

Rating: C-. Total mentions of Nakamura’s United States of Nakamura deal from a few weeks ago: zero, which shouldn’t surprise anyone at all. Since we NEED Hardy vs. Orton in the Cell, there’s no room for the US Champion/Royal Rumble winner/Wrestlemania World Title challenger on this show most weeks. The match itself was fine but nothing that we haven’t seen before, especially with the predictable ending.

Post match Orton grabs a chair but Hardy takes it away and lays him out. The Twist of Fate sets up a Swanton to leave Orton laying.

Miz insists that Maryse is introduced first because she’s going to be stealing the spotlight tonight. Daniel Bryan took three years to come back from his injury while Maryse is back five months after having a baby. Miz calls Bryan and Brie Bella’s marriage one of convenience because they can’t do any better. Now that Bryan has to protect the environment, Brie has to wrestle to pay the bills. Nice shot there, though Brie in the ring makes me cringe.

Earlier today, AJ Styles was in the empty arena to talk about how Samoa Joe knows how to get under his skin. He knows AJ has a temper but after being friends for twenty years, AJ knows how to get under Joe’s skin too. Joe’s strength is intimidation but AJ knows he’s a piece of garbage. When the bell rings, the intimidation ends because this is the house that AJ Styles built and it isn’t for sale.

We look back at last week’s argument between Becky Lynch and Charlotte with Becky being edgy because they don’t want to just go with what the fans want.

Charlotte requested to face Sonya Deville tonight because she wants competition. On Sunday, she’s betting on herself.

Raw Rebound.

Charlotte vs. Sonya Deville

Non-title and Mandy Rose is in Sonya’s corner. Charlotte is fine with taking it to the mat to start and grabs a headlock. She can’t pull off the bridge into the backslide though and Sonya kicks away in the corner. Charlotte is right back with a knee to the neck and a kick to the chest as we take a break.

Back with Charlotte fighting out of an abdominal stretch and hitting a belly to back suplex. A backbreaker keeps Sonya in trouble but the moonsault hits knees. Sonya gets two off a spinebuster but Charlotte is right back with a slingshot sitout powerbomb (that could be a finisher for someone), followed by the Figure Eight for the tap at 9:48.

Rating: C-. That’s the kind of match that a big star can benefit from: being made to sweat by someone who is a step beneath her. Sonya gets to look good with some of her big offense while Charlotte has to actually work a bit before getting the not exactly in doubt win. It’s a good idea and something that could benefit others on the roster.

Post match Charlotte takes a picture with a fan but Becky Lynch is disguised in the crowd and jumps the champ. Always works.

Samoa Joe reads a bedtime story (complete with book) about AJ Styles, who built a house but then forgot his friends who helped get him there. One of his friends promised to make things better by beating Styles up, which leads them to Sunday where AJ will get to go back to his family. After he wakes up of course. The last shot of the book is Joe as champion with Styles’ family for a rather evil visual.

The rhyming here was a good idea as they’ve done some solid work with the promos leading up to the match. It’s amazing how much you get out of switching up a few things like this. The best part is they can back it up in the ring, which is the part that lacks in so many of these well built feuds.

Becky has nothing to say.

Earlier today, Kofi Kingston, in his interviewer attire, followed the Bar but didn’t actually talk to them.

The Bar vs. Rusev Day

The winners get to face New Day on Sunday so New Day is on commentary. Joined in progress with Sheamus clotheslining Rusev for two before handing it off to Cesaro for the chinlock. That sets up the required comeback and it’s off to English for a clothesline to the floor and a dive onto Rusev. A DDT gets two on Sheamus but a Cesaro distraction lets Sheamus knee English in the head. The double teaming begins and it’s Cesaro chinlocking English as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus going shoulder first into the post so Rusev can come in and clean house. The Accolade has Cesaro in trouble so Sheamus makes a save. A double DDT gets two on Rusev and Sheamus powerslams him for the same. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but English takes it for Rusev, setting up the jumping superkick to finish Sheamus at 13:24.

Rating: C. I’m glad they went with the bit of a surprise finish here as you could have penciled in the Bar to win here from the beginning. Every now and then you have to switch in a little change of pace and Rusev Day is a better, more interesting option than the Bar anyway. Not a great match, but it was fine for what it was.

Rusev Day yells at New Day.

Video on Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss. Thank goodness they’re doing these on their own and not as inset videos during other matches.

R-Truth vs. Andrade Cien Almas

Carmella is here with Truth and it turns out she’s rather suited to be the good looking dancer who shouts a lot. They slug it out to start with Almas getting the better of it but having his suplex reversed into a gordbuster. Truth can’t hit the ax kick so Almas poses in the ropes. Carmella goes after Zelina Vega and the distraction lets Almas roll him up for the pin at 2:42. Just a quick match and Almas gets a win. If nothing else, Truth and Carmella are great together.

Naomi and Asuka don’t like the IIconics. Asuka seems to like the idea of the Glow.

Brie Bella vs. Maryse

Brie now has the Seattle Seahawks colors too. Maryse bails to the floor at the bell and Miz gives her a good luck kiss. Back in and Maryse hides in the ropes before heading outside again. Brie grabs the mic and calls Maryse a coward. Feel the burn I guess. Miz doesn’t like this and talks about how Maryse gave birth just five months ago. This city doesn’t deserve this match so Miz and Maryse are out. Brie chases Maryse down and sends her into the apron but Bryan going after Miz lets Maryse get in a kick to the head for two. The YES Lock has Maryse in trouble but Miz pulls Brie out for the DQ at 4:40.

Rating: N/A. I don’t use that very often but this wasn’t a match. They “wrestled” for about twenty seconds near the end of their angle and that’s about it. I know WWE might be a little worried about the two of them wrestling, but if that’s the case they shouldn’t be in the main event of this show. Now we’re going to have to hear even more about how much of a legend Brie is, but at last Nikki’s match last night was a match as opposed to this angle that they tried to call a match.

Post match the brawl is on with Bryan running Brie over by mistake. Maryse sends Brie into the apron a few times but Brie comes back with her terrible punches. Bryan gets back in and takes Miz down with Brie punching him into a clothesline to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While not great, this week’s show had one major thing that Raw was lacking: a clear goal. Other than the occasional one off line, there was no mention of Evolution or Super Show-Down because they were focused on building up Sunday’s show. I don’t need to hear about a bunch of stuff taking place next month when there’s a pay per view in five days. The promos were rather good as well and I’m wanting to see some of the matches on Sunday. That’s what a go home should do and they did it here, without spending all that time on stuff that we can get to later on.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Charlotte b. Sonya Deville – Figure Eight

Rusev Day b. The Bar – Jumping superkick to Sheamus

Andrade Cien Almas b. R-Truth – Rollup

Brie Bella b. Maryse via DQ when The Miz interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 8, 2004
Location: SBC Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Just realizing that this is going to be heavy on the JBL makes me feel deflated. Eddie Guerrero is trying but they’re fighting over a hat and JBL’s stock portfolio. Who in the world is this supposed to appeal to? Those hardcore capitalist wrestling fans? Or the people who are cowboy hat enthusiasts? It’s certainly not likely to appeal to the more hardcore fans. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Great American Award and JBL being added to the mix because reasons. Eddie ruining JBL’s hat is thrown in as a bonus.

Opening sequence.

Here’s JBL to open things up, complete with Cole ripping on the horned limo which sounds like something that’s going to become a trend. JBL talks about being glad he left this state to go to New York City. Tonight he’s going to win the Great American Award and represent the country as only he can. He talks about the hat desecration and even though the money doesn’t bother him, it’s all about the principle.

JBL pulls out his money clip and offers $1000 to anyone who can do something. The fans are excited so we get a quick jab at welfare (“Now you’re cheering me because I’m giving out money.”) as a fan gets chosen. It’s a guy in a Latino Heat shirt coming across the barricade, which JBL equates to him crossing a river. His name is Enrique (“Piece of advice: go by the name Ricky.”) and if he can wax the hood of the limo in less than one minute, he’ll get $1000. With thirteen seconds left, JBL pours most of the bottle of wax out and that’s too much. No money, as people like Enrique can’t depend on the rich for a handout.

Well he’s no Ted DiBiase. I know DiBiase did the same kind of thing back in the day, but it’s not quite the same thing. First of all, a character like that fit in well in the 1980s, especially one as over the top with it like DiBiase. You could buy him as this rich guy who flaunted his money, especially with the over the top laugh. DiBiase was the kind of character that felt like he belonged in a bad movie, which fit in with the late 1980s WWF. JBL actually is a financial analyst and has all this money, which makes it feel too real. When you take away the over the top nature, the entertaining part of the character goes away.

The bigger thing though is the same problem it’s always been: it’s Bradshaw. We’ve seen the guy for over eight years now and he’s never been more than a brawler in a tag team. Who is going to buy him as suddenly being a World Champion caliber wrestler? It’s one of the reasons people compare him to Jinder Mahal: you can’t go from being a low level guy to the top of the promotion overnight. It’s too much of a jump and the fans aren’t going to buy it.

We go over the nominees.

Dudley Boyz vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi

Non-title. D-Von and Rikishi open things up and we get a clean break in the corner. Some right hands from D-Von (he’s pretty good at those) don’t have much effect so it’s off to Scotty to pick up the pace. Bubba comes in to elbow him in the back and then hit him between the eyes with a right hand. Scotty gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi. D-Von is sent outside and Rikishi flattens Bubba in the corner. A blind tag brings Scotty back in and Rikishi clotheslines both Dudleys. Everything breaks down and Rikishi gets posted, allowing D-Von to break up the Worm. The 3D finishes Scotty.

Rating: D. The ending picked things up a bit but the Tag Team Champions shouldn’t be losing clean in less than five minutes. They’re not a great team in the first place but protect the titles at least a little bit. Or just give them to the Dudleys already, who may be stale but they’ve got way more credibility than what we’re getting at the moment.

Charlie Haas tells Angle that he can be better than Shelton Benjamin on Raw, but then freaks out at the notion that he might not be able to do it. Big Show, Haas’ partner tonight, comes in and says the award is his.

Rico and Miss Jackie are here next week.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jamie Noble

Chavo is defending and has his dad with him but Noble counters with….regular tights instead of the cutoff jeans. A flying mare takes Noble down but he’s right back up with a backdrop to the floor. That means a suicide dive to drop the champ, only to have Chavo Sr. offer a distraction so the son can take over again. A Vertebreaker is broken up and Noble grabs a neckbreaker. Noble gets two off a middle rope legdrop but Chavo rolls him up and grabs the rope to retain.

Rating: C-. The time hurt it (again) but this was a good example of two talented guys getting to show off. Chavo grabbing the ropes is a perfectly fine way to get him out of the match and make him look like a heel so what else can you ask them to do? Well giving Chavo some more credible challengers might help. Still though, not a bad match while it lasted.

Theodore Long offers his services to Orlando Jordan and Shannon Moore. Not so much to Spike Dudley, so Spike wants to fight Long tonight. That’s a no, even if Long is taller than him. Long actually agrees to “play whitey’s game” and the match is on.

Rob Van Dam offers to reform the team with Booker T. but Booker isn’t up for it. They treat people different around here and Booker will cheat however he has to. Rob has his back around here if Booker needs it. That’s enough for Booker actually and they’ll go after the Tag Team Titles.

John Cena vs. Danny Basham

Non-title and a jobber entrance for Basham. Before the match, Cena plays to the crowd a bit and they seem VERY happy to see him. Cena is ready to win tonight and had fun messing with Rene Dupree’s dog last week. After making a George Gervin reference (look him up), we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start until Cena hits him in the face for two. A poke to the eye allows some Twin Magic but Cena shrugs it off. Basham’s sunset flip is blocked and it’s the Throwback, the Shuffle and the FU for the easy pin. Pretty much a squash as Cena has figured out the formula.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Charlie Haas/Big Show

Rob and Charlie start things off as the mini feud continues. Charlie gets the better of it to start but makes the mistake of going after Booker, allowing Rob to kick him down. A clothesline drops Van Dam and it’s off to Show for the big beating in the corner, including the loud chop. Van Dam gets away from Charlie and goes over for a tag but Booker is on the floor yelling at Big Show. That means it’s a gorilla press to Van Dam and it’s back to Haas, who gets kicked down.

Rob goes for the tag but that’s not cool with Booker, who walks away. Booker says he didn’t want to do this and Haas puts on a bearhug. Some more kicks get Rob out of trouble and a monkey flip sends Charlie down. Van Dam makes the mistake of kicking Show down though, meaning the Five Star to Haas doesn’t even get a count as Show comes in with the chokeslam. Haas gets the easy pin.

Rating: D+. That was all about the angle instead of the match so there was only so much they could do. The Booker heel turn is fine and should set up a match with Van Dam at Judgment Day, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but Booker doesn’t have an expensive hat. I’ll give them points for pushing Haas as a midcard act though, as it’s not the worst idea in the world.

Post break Van Dam glares at Angle and gets Booker next week as a result. So much for the pay per view match (more than likely).

Orlando Jordan vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree gets aggressive to start and pounds Jordan out to the floor. More forearms follow but Jordan gets two off a rollup. A spinebuster sets up the French Tickler (with Tazz singing) and the Michinoku Driver finishes Jordan in very short order.

Theodore Long is warming up and is actually in great shape.

Angle wants Eddie Guerrero in his office immediately.

John Cena has run away with the Great American votes, with over 280,000 out of 420,000 cast. Booker was in second with less than 70,000.

Raw Rebound.

Eddie come in to see Angle and talks about how cool the trophy is. The trophy is taken to the ring and Angle gets serious. Eddie isn’t going to be in front of the people tonight so he has the night off.

Theodore R. Long vs. Spike Dudley

Actually hang on as Long thinks Spike needs a warmup.

Johnny The Bull vs. Spike Dudley

Johnny wastes no time in picking Spike up for one heck of a launch into the air for an even bigger crash. The bearhug goes on but Spike slips out and avoids a charge in the corner. The Dudley Dog finishes Johnny in a hurry.

Post match Teddy gets in the ring but here’s Mark Jindrak to beat Spike down as Teddy’s new client.

Here’s Angle for the Great American Award presentation. The nominees (Cena, Haas, Booker, Big Show and JBL) are all brought out and we take a break. Back with Angle trying to talk over the CENA chants. We see the votes and Angle is ready to announce Cena as the winner but JBL says hang on a second. He’s the most American of all of us and he has proof.

We go to a video of….oh dear….JBL at the Mexican border, where he goes on a whispered rant about how these people come to our country and steal everything we have. People who made their own money like JBL aren’t supposed to pay for all these illegal immigrants. JBL sees someone sneaking across the border (his words) and chases them down, going into a loud rant about how they need to go back to Mexico because he’ll be waiting on this side. I’m not going near that one so let’s go back to the arena as fast as possible.

That’s enough for Angle, who wins the trophy and the title shot. The trophy is unveiled….and it’s been replaced by a picture of Eddie. Cue Eddie, with the trophy attached to the hood of the low rider. Eddie says he found it in the parking lot and brings it inside to JBL. Before he hands it over though, Eddie leans on the eagle’s wing and breaks it off. A trophy shot to the ribs has JBL bailing and Angle follows. Despite Angle’s threats, Eddie smashes the trophy with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The biggest problem here is there’s only one story that really matters. Other than JBL and the World Title, the biggest story here seems to be Booker turning heel. Aside from that, what in the world is there to talk about? The Dudleys wanting the Tag Team Titles? Mark Jindrak joining Theodore Long? I need a lot more support for the rather dull main event stuff and that’s just not happening right now. A good match might help too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

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