IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 22, 2018
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re getting closer and closer to Money in the Bank and this week is going to be all about some major announcements. In this case, that would mean the announcement of which New Day member will be participating in the men’s Money in the Bank ladder match, along with the stipulation for AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Miz in the ring with MizTV to get things going. Miz starts off with the big news that his reality series Miz and Mrs. will debut on July 24, right after Smackdown. With that out of the way, it’s time to bring out his guests, the New Day. After insulting their taste in television for not being sure if they’ll watch Miz and Mrs., Miz asks which of them will be in Money in the Bank. Their answer: Me!

Woods lists off everything Miz has done and praises his success but Miz asks why Kofi has never won Money in the Bank. Kofi won a lot of titles but six of those matches in and it hasn’t gotten him anywhere. Big E. has crazy amounts of charisma and power but hasn’t gotten the spotlight. Then you have Woods with his YouTube empire. Miz can’t remember the name of the game Woods might stream, but imagine if it was streamed with him as WWE Champion.

New Day each picks a different member to get the shot so Miz yells at them to pick something. Kofi picks Big E. but Woods says they’re talking about tonight. Miz says no match because they won’t give him what he wants. That makes them shame him, which means throwing pancakes at Miz to send him running. Once Miz gets to the back, Paige sends him back to the ring to face Big E. right now.

Big E. vs. The Miz

Woods is on commentary as Graves asks how Miz can be prepared to compete. Woods: “He’s in his gear!” Big E. tosses Miz into the corner but gets kicked in the ribs. The abdominal stretch cuts Miz off and the spanks are thrown in for some humiliation. Big E. even scores with the apron splash but Woods says that’s the round. Kofi pulls up a chair and pours some syrup into Big E.’s mouth like a boxer would do between rounds, even down to the spit bucket.

Miz sends him into the barricade though and we take a break. Back with Kofi now on commentary and still not picking who is going to the ladder match. Big E. charges into a knee but here’s the Bar to go after Woods. Kofi dives onto both of them but the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 10:47.

Rating: C-. I could go for a Big E. push but that doesn’t include him losing to Miz. Then again, this could probably be classified as building momentum and that means he can lose all he can and then win the ladder match. Or they could go with whichever member of New Day doesn’t lose a match on the way to the show.

We look at Daniel Bryan beating up Big Cass last week, who isn’t cleared to compete.

Bryan talks about dealing with Big Cass and now he’s ready to get another shot in Money in the Bank by beating Jeff Hardy tonight and moving on to face Samoa Joe in a qualifying match next week.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Billie Kay vs. Lana

Aiden English introduces Lana and sings the Lana Song. Not to be outdone, the Iconics sing a duet about Lana being a loser. The bell rings and Aiden pulls out a LANA DAY sign as Tom mentions that Lana has never won a singles match. Royce slaps Aiden so Lana slaps Billie and the fight is on. Back in and Lana scores with a kick to the head, followed by a sloppy facebuster for the pin at 1:12. A big LANA DAY chant breaks out.

Zelina Vega wants more respect for Andrade Cien Almas.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. ???

Almas laughs in his face to start and punches him down. A few elbows give the jobber a breather so Almas elbows him in the face. The running knees in the corner set up the hammerlock DDT to give Almas the pin at 1:53.

Carmella says she’s ready to beat Asuka because she’s not ready to slip and fall. Charlotte shattered the Asuka myth at Wrestlemania and she’s beaten Charlotte twice. Therefore, she’s twice as good as Charlotte. Stick to screaming champ.

Here are AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura o announce the stipulation for Money in the Bank. Nakamura doesn’t understand what a stipulation is but can show us a clip of him defeating Styles last week. He’s been thinking very carefully and wants to dishonor Styles at Money in the Bank. Nakamura picks a pillow fight, which AJ doesn’t think much about. Not that it matters as Nakamura wants to dishonor AJ at Money in the Bank.

The fight is on with AJ blocking the low blow and taking it outside. A chair shot misses as well and Nakamura gets sent into the crowd. AJ tries a springboard off the barricade but gets chaired down, allowing Nakamura to hit Kinshasa. Nakamura makes it a Last Man Standing match. Makes sense given most of their matches.

Usos vs. Anderson and Gallows

The winners gets a title shot at Money in the Bank. After some trash talking before the bell, the fight is on with the Usos knocking them both to the floor for a big dive from Jimmy. Back with Jey kicking Anderson in the head but knocking him into the corner for the tag off to Gallows. That just means another kick to the head and a Superfly Splash for two. Gallows hits his own superkick and the Magic Killer sends Anderson and Gallows to Money in the Bank at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but it’s high time to give the Bludgeon Brothers some fresh competition.

The Last Man Standing match is confirmed.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Naomi vs. Sonya Deville

Naomi starts fast with some rollups for two each as we see other qualifiers watching in the back. Sonya gets in some right hands and a shot to the back for two. A spinebuster gives Sonya two more but Naomi comes back with some kicks. They trade enough kicks for a double knockdown, only to have Naomi grab another rollup for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D+. Naomi is the right call as she’s a bigger star and has the crazy athleticism needed to make something like the ladder match fun. I’m not sure what Sonya did to warrant getting a second chance at getting into the match but at least they got the winner right, which isn’t always the case.

Jeff Hardy is excited for a chance to be in the ladder match because he can do a lot with ladders.

Jeff Hardy vs. Daniel Bryan

The winner gets Samoa Joe, on commentary here, in a Money in the Bank qualifying match next week. Feeling out process to start until Bryan shoulders him down for two. The moonsault over Jeff into the running clothesline is countered with an atomic drop. Bryan rolls outside and we take a break. Back with stereo crossbodies putting both of them down again.

Its Bryan up first and kicking Jeff to the floor but missing the apron knee. Jeff scores with a running clothesline from the apron but takes too long going up top. The delay allows Bryan to tie him in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick. Jeff blocks a belly to back superplex though and scores with a Whisper in the Wind for two. The Twist of Fate is countered and Bryan kicks away, only to get caught with the Twist.

The Swanton hits knees (with a great bounce off the crash) so Bryan kicks him in the head for two more. Another Twist is countered into a dragon screw legwhip and Bryan slaps on a heel hook for the tap at 11:23. That would be the second time that the US Champion has lost clean in Money in the Bank matches.

Rating: B. Champion losing again aside, this was a fun match with both guys looking like stars who could have gotten the win. Bryan needed the win to get back on track after the Rusev loss, but I’m not sure I can picture him beating Joe next week. Then again I’m not sure I can picture Joe losing to Bryan either, and that makes for a much more interesting match.

Post match Joe says Bryan gets him next week. Joe goes to the back and says next week, Bryan goes to sleep. Yes yes yes.

Overall Rating: C. I never thought I’d have to say this, but it’s amazing how much better a show is without a segment involving men in drag pretending to be Bobby Lashley’s sisters. It also helps to have some of the matches actually mean something, which is a big place where Raw failed. Having more qualifying matches tonight made the show feel important and with a big main event next week, Smackdown is already looking like it’s in the lead against Raw.

Results

The Miz b. Big E. – Skull Crushing Finale

Lana b. Billie Kay – Facebuster

Andrade Cien Almas b. ??? – Hammerlock DDT

Anderson and Gallows b. Usos – Magic Killer to Jimmy

Naomi b. Sonya Deville – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Jeff Hardy – Heel hook

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 18, 2003
Location: Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the last regular show of the year as next week’s is from Iraq for the first Tribute to the Troops. Since last week’s show was a stand alone episode, odds are that’s going to be the case this week as well as I can’t imagine them setting up much and then just dropping it for a week for the special. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio last week until Hardcore Holly made the save. I might sign up for more beatings from Brock.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. It’s almost Christmas and the real reason for this season is to make love to Mrs. Claus (“She’ll be hanging off the balls from my Christmas tree.”). Funnier than his usual stuff at least.

Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title (well duh) with Cena on commentary. Jordan goes straight at him and actually knocks Show into the corner. A dropkick has no effect and the Hog Log (Cena: “The HOG LOG?”) gives Show two. Cole tries to talk in hip hop lingo and Cena just rips him apart until the chokeslam cuts Jordan off for the pin.

Post match Show and Cena have a staredown before their match next week. Of note: a fan holds up a sign saying “The guy behind me can’t see.” I’ve seen that several times before and it’s still one of the worst signs you can make. How pathetic does your life have to be that when you buy an expensive seat to a show, the best thing you can do is make a sign to intentionally ruin someone’s night? Does that make you feel good about yourself? And how annoyed would you be if someone in front of you held up the same sign?

Hardcore Holly arrives and a security guard won’t let him in. Another guard comes up to say that Holly is Paul Heyman’s invited guest and has a private room.

Back from a break with A-Train in the ring and Brock Lesnar coming out, flanked by Heyman and Matt Morgan. Brock talks about beating Mysterio last week and brings up A-Train losing to Shannon Moore. Morgan brings up A-Train losing Team Lesnar money when he lost the match, which Lesnar says was his money. After we see a clip of the loss, Lesnar demands an answer and it better be good. A-Train apologizes for losing the money and embarrassing the team but wants to make things better.

Heyman thinks A-Train could make it up by dealing with Hardcore Holly. See, Holly’s suspension is lifted and tonight it’s an All or Nothing match. If Holly wins, he gets a title shot against Lesnar. If Holly loses, his contract is terminated immediately and he’s gone from WWE altogether. Tonight, it’s a tag team match with A-Train/Morgan vs. Holly/Moore. Lesnar doesn’t seem happy, much like the fans who are getting that as a main event.

Christmas in Iraq video.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Shaniqua is back with the Bashams (having not actually missed any time) but thankfully the masks are gone. Eddie and Rikishi start with the big man launching Eddie over in a backdrop. Chavo comes in and both Guerreros are suplexed at the same time. They escape a double Stinkface though and it’s off to Haas, who tries to slam Rikishi due to reasons of low intelligence.

Scotty comes in for some elbow drops but Haas brings in Shelton to take over. A very fast exploder suplex puts Scotty down but Danny and Eddie tag themselves in with a hurricanrana putting Danny down in a hurry. Both Bashams wind up in the corner for the double Stinkface with everyone else cheering. Thankfully we don’t get any jokes about them liking it as we take a break.

Chavo takes Danny up for a superplex but Doug comes in with a frog splash (a very telegraphed one too) to retain, even though Eddie hit them for the save before the three count. You could see Nick Patrick looking all over the place as he counted (like he was looking for someone to make a save) and Cole sounded a little confused too so something didn’t seem right there.

Rating: D+. Such is the problem with these matches containing so many people. With all the blind tags and quick sequences where you have to get people in and out to make sure everyone gets some time, you can’t get anything going. Also, yay the Bashams retain in a match where you don’t even have to have them lose the fall to get the titles off of them. There’s no coming back from such a stupid and terrible gimmick and having them hold the titles even longer isn’t making them any more over than they were before.

Heyman has put everyone’s name into a tumbler (save for Chris Benoit of course) and tonight, Lesnar is going to pull one out to give someone a title shot.

Lamont introduces The Cat for the weekly dancing session. Cole: “Somebody call my papa!” Cue Sable before he can get anywhere for some ranting and raving about him kissing her last week. Cat says he did (well yeah) but she didn’t look too hot last week. All he was trying to do was give her some hot Cat sugar to warm her up. He goes to kiss her again but here’s Vince to interrupt. Lamont holds the ropes open so Vince knocks him off as I cringe at where this may go.

Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince says he’s the greatest, Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince dances, Cat dances and Vince kicks Cat low. Vince: “SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THE CAT’S MAMA!” So Vince and the Cat are having a dance off on a show where Hardcore Holly is in the main event for a chance to become #1 contender. Oh and the Tag Team Champions are sex slaves to the most boring dominatrix of all time. Kind of a drop from the Smackdown Six days.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

For the #1 contendership. They hit the mat to start before running the ropes, including a monkey flip to put Noble down. Rey tries it again but Noble sticks the landing, setting up stereo dropkicks for a standoff. Rey’s headscissors out of the corner is countered into a faceplant and we hit a camel clutch. Back up and Noble’s charge hits post so Rey gets in a moonsault press for two.

In a counter that you would think someone else would have used before, Noble pulls the ropes apart and Rey crashes to the floor on a 619 attempt. That’s not enough for Jamie though as he throws Nidia inside and dropkicks her into the referee and Rey. Not that it matters as the tiger driver is countered into a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin. So Noble isn’t just a cheater, but also stupid. Such is life as a heel.

Rating: C-. The ending brings it down, much like Noble’s face run being aborted pretty quickly. I was digging his time for the forces of good but instead of making a new name out of a talented guy, let’s go with a story about Nidia instead. You know, the chick from Tough Enough so they might be able to get another season of the show.

Jamie tells Nidia that it was Mysterio.

Holly isn’t happy but he’ll do what he has to do tonight. He’s going to break Brock’s neck and take his title. No Bob, you’re not.

Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo

Benoit clears the ring of Nunzio and Stamboli but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot. The referee ejects the other two to get things even, albeit with Palumbo in full control to start. The big right hands connect and it’s time to talk about Iraq again. A cravate and belly to back suplex give Palumbo two but Benoit snaps him down by the arm. Back up and Palumbo goes shoulder first into the post (second match in a row) to set up the Crossface. Palumbo makes the rope so Benoit grabs a dragon screw legwhip. Some German suplexes into the Swan Dive get two so it’s the Crossface to make Palumbo tap.

Rating: C. This was completely fine as Benoit survives an early disadvantage to win. It’s good that they have something planned for him with this “he can’t have a title shot” thing as it makes Benoit seem like a threat to Lesnar. That’s what they need to build up, especially with Holly being the current challenger. Have I mentioned how stupid that really is? I wouldn’t want the message to be lost.

Rey comes in to see Nidia and explains (in Spanish for no apparent reason) that it was Jamie who dropkicked her. Nidia doesn’t believe him.

Rhyno vs. Faarooq

Rhyno wanted Bradshaw but gets Faarooq instead as Bradshaw is already in Iraq. Faarooq catches him from trying to run and hits a forearm to the back. A quick trip to the floor goes badly for Faarooq and it’s Rhyno stomping away back inside. The spinebuster gives Faarooq two so Rhyno hits him low for the fast DQ.

Rhyno Gores him down post match.

Heyman hypes up the possible matches for Lesnar, making it very clear that it’s going to be a joke.

In the ring, Heyman brings out Lesnar for the drawing. An annoyed Lesnar pulls out a name and we have a match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock is defending. Shannon gets in a few shots to the knee and hits a dropkick to the jaw. That’s enough though as a series of clotheslines sets up the Brock Lock to retain the title in less than two minutes.

Post match Lesnar brags about being the best champion ever. He could have defended against anyone and pulls some more balls out of the tumbler. They all say Moore.

Hardcore Holly/Shannon Moore vs. A-Train/Matt Morgan

Yes your final three matches include Faarooq, Moore and Holly. Lesnar is at ringside and Lesnar is flanked by security. With Holly yelling at Lesnar, A-Train and Morgan run in to jump the still beaten down Moore. Morgan does the boot choke in the corner and A-Train hits a bunch of backbreakers.

A bearhug goes on with Morgan shaking Moore around and the Train Wreck draws Holly in for a save. An enziguri is enough for the hot tag so Holly can clean house until Lesnar chairs him in the back. Cole rants about how Holly has everything on the line before saying he has nothing to lose. A sitout powerbomb gives Morgan two but A-Train runs into Matt by mistake. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin.

Rating: D. Shannon’s selling was good (as always) but egads I’m not going to care about Holly. Who is buying that Lesnar is scared of the guy who spent years as a race car driver and then as part of a wacky family while trading the Hardcore Title with Road Dogg? I can’t imagine even a small portion of the audience is buying Holly as a real threat to Lesnar and it’s killing the story they’re going for. Holly’s team winning was very clear and at least they kept it short.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh my goodness Christmas has come early. By that I mean Christmas vacation as there wasn’t a lot of interest put into this show with a bunch of matches being too short to rate and Holly and Moore getting a ton of TV time. How am I supposed to get into much going on right now as we’re still waiting on Benoit to get his big time chance? I know it’s coming but they’re not making it easy to get there. Now to be fair a lot of that is just due to the holiday season, but egads find something better to bridge the gap.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 15, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get a quick recap of Styles vs. Nakamura.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat with Renee Young to get things going. She can barely get her questions in though as the DANIEL BRYAN chants are a bit too loud. After they die down a bit, Bryan talks about how he lost last week and no one likes losing. He’s back and willing to scratch and claw his way to the top because he wants to be WWE Champion. Cue Big Cass to mock Bryan, saying that he was Bryan’s first major setback since his return to WWE. Yeah he tapped out at Backlash, but only so he could get out of the hold to keep beating on Bryan even more.

Cass takes credit for Bryan’s loss to Rusev last week and says Bryan will never be able to do anything without a seven foot shadow following him. He gets in the ring so Bryan goes straight for the knee with a series of kicks before wrapping it around the post. Referees come out but but can’t stop Bryan from hitting a chop block and slapping on a heel hook. Good segment, now get Bryan on from Cass.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: New Day vs. The Bar

A double DDT gets two on Big E. and Cesaro grabs a Sharpshooter. Woods comes in for the save and gets in his own DDT for two. A wheelbarrow faceplant slams Cesaro into the mat so Sheamus comes in for a save this time around. Big E. spears Sheamus through the ropes, leaving Woods to drop the elbow for the pin on Cesaro at 9:25. As expected, there was no mention of Miz pinning the US Champion.

Rating: C-. In theory this should put Woods in the ladder match but I could see him saying that he doesn’t deserve it. To be fair, no one would buy Woods as a threat to win the thing so switching him out for Big E. or Kofi wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. New Day vs. Bar has been a fine enough feud and tying something like this into it wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

The Bludgeon Brothers look at various teams and say friendship is a disease. They’re waiting.

Paige is on the phone with Carmella and says she can’t have a horse drawn carriage entrance. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville come in and say Mandy is going to Money in the Bank. Paige says not so fast because tonight, she can have a qualifying match. That’s not cool with Sonya, who wants one too. Paige gives them both a match against Becky Lynch, which makes them think it’s a handicap match because they’re not that bright. Paige spells it out for them and they seem a bit nervous.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Jake Constantino

Must be Rico’s cousin. Jake gets in an armdrag before being knocked into the corner for the running knees. The hammerlock DDT ends Constantino at 1:19.

Post match Vega says she isn’t impressed because they’re here to take over.

Rusev Day are in the back to insult London. Aiden English has a new song for when Rusev wins Money in the Bank but Lana comes in to says she’s in a qualifying match next week too. They’ll dominate Smackdown on Rusev Day. The tension between Lana and English was gone here, almost to the level of Lana’s accent being gone.

It’s time for the Royal Mellabration and she has a town crier to introduce her. Some beef eaters bring out the title and here’s Carmella to come to the ring where there’s a big leopard print pillow for the title. Carmella orders them to cheer for her but then complains about the silence. These people will cheer for a baby outside of a hospital and now they won’t give her the same treatment? She’s champion so she’s better than everyone else and lists off a bunch of names beneath her. Cue Paige to announce Carmella vs. Asuka at Money in the Bank. Asuka comes out and Carmella panics as she leaves.

Nakamura can’t understand Renee’s questions. He’ll win tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

Mandy lets the other two fight and then jumps Becky from behind. A rollup gets two on Sonya and the argument takes us to a break. Back with Sonya hammering on Becky but a Bexploder gets her out of trouble. Mandy tries to steal the pin and gets thrown down by Sonya, who sends her to the floor.

Becky gets the better of a slugout and goes up, leaving Mandy to put Sonya in an electric chair. A missile dropkick to Mandy brings them both down but Sonya breaks up the Disarm-Her. Sonya gets kicked down again though and the Disarm-Her makes Mandy tap at 8:00 to send Becky to Money in the Bank.

Rating: C. Mandy and Sonya are getting better in the ring but neither is ready for such a big spot. Becky is someone who could be a big deal in the division for a long time to come and there’s no reason to not put her in here. You can put the Iconics in for a better performance in the heel tag role than Mandy and Sonya so there’s not much to complain about here.

Samoa Joe doesn’t like Big Cass targeting people smaller than him so he’ll target Cass next week in their qualifying match. He doesn’t care how big Cass is because he can be put to sleep.

The Iconics play a word association game and say Billie will beat Lana next week in the qualifying match.

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title with the winner getting to pick next week’s stipulation. The battle over a wristlock doesn’t go anywhere so AJ dropkicks him down to pick up the pace a bit. A slingshot forearm to the floor has Nakamura in more trouble but he posts AJ for a breather. Back from a break with Nakamura kicking AJ against the ropes and choking in the corner. Good Vibrations sets up a running kick to AJ’s face and we hit a dragon sleeper.

AJ fights out and puts Nakamura on top for a Pele. The running seated forearm drops Nakamura again and AJ nips up as the pace quickens. The belly to back faceplant gets two but a spinning kick to the face rocks Styles. Nakamura gets two off the Landslide (Samoan driver) but misses the running knee in the corner.

He’s fine enough to break up a springboard though and a kick to the ribs sends AJ to the apron. Kinshasa misses but AJ can’t get the Calf Crusher. The sliding knee gets two but Kinshasa is blocked with a spinwheel kick. The Phenomenal Forearm nearly hits the referee and Nakamura claims a low blow. That’s enough of a distraction to set up Kinshasa for the pin on Styles at 17:30.

Rating: B+. That’s the best match they’ve had yet and Nakamura needed to win something at some point. I’m still really not big on having a match to set up another match but this is better than a lot of the nonsense this company gives us at times. I’m not sure what the stipulation will be but they have a few options as we head towards Money in the Bank, especially with Nakamura’s quirky sense of humor at times.

No stipulation is picked to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t remember the last time you could feel the difference in the presentation between the two shows like you could this week. Raw was beating us over the head with the same ideas and Roman Reigns didn’t exactly help things. This show, while not exactly a masterpiece, focused on some other stuff outside of Money in the Bank and didn’t have a really dumb story as a bonus. It’s amazing how much easier that is to sit through and it made for a better show. I know Raw isn’t going to change, but it’s not hard to see why this show is better.

Results

New Day b. The Bar – Top rope elbow to Cesaro

Andrade Cien Almas b. Jake Constantino – Hammerlock DDT

Becky Lynch b. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville – Disarm-Her to Rose

Shinsuke Nakamura b. AJ Styles – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 11, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re now on the way to the Royal Rumble and that means….well it probably means that the show takes a few weeks off. Last week saw Chris Benoit fall just short of winning the Smackdown World Title from Brock Lesnar, who now gets to move on to Hardcore Holly. A main event in probably no arena in the country. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open on a very close shot of Paul Heyman as he says Chris Benoit will never get another shot at the WWE Title as long as Heyman is General Manager.

Opening sequence.

Heyman is in the ring to get things going. He’s going to follow a tradition and build Smackdown on the back of Brock Lesnar. Vince McMahon Sr. built the company on the back of Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon Jr. built his company on the backs of Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. Last week Chris Benoit got a little too close to destroying Heyman’s vision so there will be no more title shots at this man.

Brock comes out and smiles a lot as you can see the YOU TAPPED OUT signs in the crowd. Just in case that’s not enough, the accompanying chants start up as well. Lesnar rants about demanding respect and says it was Benoit who tapped out to him. We see a clip of Benoit “tapping” after passing out and Lesnar rants against the fans, only showing why he shouldn’t be allowed to talk that often. Lesnar says he has a chant for the fans here in Mexico, even though Heyman says we’re in San Diego. Lesnar: “It looks like Mexico out here!”

Cue Rey Mysterio to say he won’t let Lesnar make fun of his people and his family. Rey is here to issue a challenge for tonight and that means a 619 chant. Lesnar doesn’t agree so testicle jokes are made, which is enough to get the match made, albeit non-title of course. Brock does throw in a bonus: if Rey can win tonight, he can have a title shot next week. That’s cool with Rey, who promises a 619 chant next week. Perfectly fine for a one/two week story.

Rhyno vs. Bradshaw

Fallout from a Gore on Velocity. Bradshaw forearms him into the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The threat of a Clothesline sends Rhyno bailing to the floor but he comes back in with a DDT for two. For reasons of general idiocy, Rhyno goes up top, allowing Bradshaw to hit a super fall away slam to take over again. A superplex plants Rhyno and they lay on the mat for a few seconds before Bradshaw lifts his legs, allowing Rhyno to turn it into a small package for the pin. That didn’t look contrived in the slightest.

Rating: D. Believe it or not I actually had some expectations here as these two could have a decent, short power match. For some reason though they couldn’t even do that right and it made for a lame outing, especially for the ending. Bad match here, which is actually a bit of a surprise.

Paul Heyman is with A-Train and Matt Morgan and mentions that he’s gotten rid of Nathan Jones. No reason is given, but he quit the company while on tour in Australia. Anyway A-Train needs to prove himself to make up for betting against Brock last week so he’s going to face Shannon Moore. Morgan tells him not to blow it.

The Bashams want to bet on themselves in their Tag Team Title defense next week, which nearly leads to a fight with the FBI over Shaniqua being rough with the money. Didn’t she dump them? They leave so Matt Morgan comes in to put everything he has on A-Train against Moore. Pretty obvious payoff but it might work here.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon has taped up ribs so A-Train punches him in the bandages and hits a splash in the corner. A spinning crossbody to the back puts A-Train down but A-Train tosses him outside and hits the ribs again. Back in and Shannon grabs a quick sunset flip for the clean fluke pin.

Post match here are Morgan and Big Show to beat up Moore but A-Train takes a beating of his own.

Cat is getting ready to dance.

Highlights of the Asia/Australia tour.

Here’s Lamont to introduce Cat to dance with Sable. Therefore here’s Sable, who says she’s not dancing for anyone but Vince McMahon. Cat isn’t happy so he kisses her, causing Sable to leave. That means Cat takes his pants off and dances. This might be the most “because Vince thinks it’s funny” segment in years.

Eddie Guerrero offers Chavo a Y J Stinger hat but promises to be serious. Chavo says his knee is feeling good enough that he doesn’t even need to tag Eddie in. They’re both going to steal the show.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Eddie and Charlie start things off with neither being able to get the better of a technical off. Shelton comes in to try a test of strength as the EDDIE chants begin. Eddie gets the better of it and takes him down to the mat, legitimately injuring his shoulder in the process. Shelton gets sent into the corner so it’s off to Chavo as Eddie chokes from the apron. Shelton knocks him outside and opens the hood of the low rider in an attempt to crush Eddie’s arm. Well that certainly accelerated quickly.

With that not working, Shelton sends him arm first into the post and we take a very abrupt break. Back with Shelton slingshotting in to land on the arm again. Charlie lets Eddie over for the tag for some reason and it’s Chavo coming in to clean house. A headscissors drops Charlie and a middle rope twisting swanton gets two. Another armbar slows Charlie down but Shelton kicks out Chavo’s bad knee to take over again.

Shelton slingshots in onto the knee as at least they’re mixing up the leg work. We hit a half crab but Eddie gets creative by taking off the tag rope, which draws the referee over and allows Eddie to break up the hold. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Shelton pulls Eddie off the apron. Back up and Eddie dives over Charlie for the real hot tag but the bad arm keeps things from their usual pace. A monkey flip doesn’t work on Shelton as he lands on his feet but a dropkick sends him into Haas.

Charlie is fine enough to superplex Eddie and everyone is down again. It’s Shelton up first to jump over Charlie and land on Eddie’s back but a one legged Chavo makes the save. Eddie is fine enough to hit the rolling suplexes but Chavo tags himself in and hits the frog splash on Shelton. Eddie takes his time leaving though and it’s only good for a delayed two. Back up and Shelton superkicks Chavo and covers but Chavo isn’t legal. The referee straightens things out so Eddie pulls the air filter from the low rider and knocks Shelton cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. The arm injury clearly slowed Eddie a lot but even a below peak condition Eddie is still better than most performers ever. Chavo’s jealously can continue with Eddie stealing the pin as the team continues to win but also continues to deteriorate. It’s going to make Eddie into a bigger deal and that’s what matters most.

Tribute to the Troops is announced. That’s still a really cool concept, but once it turned into a stateside event, it stopped feeling special.

Here’s Big Show, dressed like John Cena, for a battle rap. Cena comes out and Show does the slow paced rhyming, including saying that he’s 500lbs and is the Kobe Bryant to Cena’s white girl. Oh and his finger is bigger than Cena’s…..anyway moving on. Cena’s response: Show is fat, in various forms of funny insults. He throws in a low blow for good measure and bails. This really wasn’t funny, but it was better than the Cat segment.

We recap Brock vs. Benoit last week.

Benoit passed out instead of giving up last week and now he’s not sure if he’s ever going to get another title shot.

Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title and Rey’s family is in the front row. Brock makes short jokes and takes his time in going after Mysterio. Eventually he grabs Rey by the foot and swings him into the corner because he’s just that big. Rey dropkicks the knee and sends a charging Lesnar face first into the middle buckle.

Brock snaps up and the chase is on until Brock finally stops and glares at him. This time he picks up the steps but Rey dropkicks them into his face. That’s about it for Rey’s offense though as Brock sends him into the post, only to get hurricanranaed to the floor. Brock gets sent into the post and Rey hits a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Brock catching a high crossbody and distracting the referee so he can get in a low blow. Cole is INCENSED that Brock would have to cheat and the stomping continues.

It’s off to a bodyscissors with a crossarm choke as Brock is dominating. He gets tired of the hold though and lets Rey up, allowing Mysterio to hit the 619 for a close two. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors and a standing hurricanrana give Rey two more but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb. The Brock Lock makes Rey tap.

Rating: C-. Mysterio was trying here and the match wasn’t bad, but there was no drama to the whole thing and that was pretty clear. It wouldn’t make sense to have Mysterio win here just because it was in his hometown and the amount of offense he got in was more than enough. Lesnar taunting him was fine and Mysterio didn’t get squashed so what more can you ask for?

Post match a fan, who was sitting with Mysterio’s family, runs in and it’s Hardcore Holly. The beating is on and some right hands send Brock outside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show but as is WWE tradition, the build for the next pay per view can’t begin until this one is over, even if there’s no connection between the two shows. Benoit is still trying to get to the title and Cena is stuck not challenging for the US Title but at least we’re getting some good stuff with Eddie and Brock. The show needs a fresh top challenger though and Holly….I think that says enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 8, 2018
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s Money in the Bank season and qualifying matches are in the air. Last night’s Monday Night Raw saw three qualifying matches and tonight Smackdown will equal that amount with three matches already announced. Unfortunately they’re not the most intriguing matches but at least they’re getting them out of the way early. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Backlash if you need a recap.

Here’s Paige to open things up. After recapping Backlash (erg, enough), it’s time to talk about Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles. The match was on its way towards being a classic (not exactly) when the double low blow stopped things. We’ll be back to that later but for now it’s time to talk about Money in the Bank. She needs the best in the match so we’ll start….now.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz cranks on the arm to start as the announcers talk about Miz’s history in the Money in the Bank match. Jeff sends him outside and hits Poetry in Motion against the barricade but it’s way too early for the Swanton. We take a break and come back with Jeff holding an armbar as the pace stays slow. The Reality Check gets two on Jeff but he elbows out of a Skull Crushing Finale attempt.

They head outside with Jeff getting the better of a slugout as the sleeves of Jeff’s shirt make me want a rainbow pop. The legdrop between the legs and the Twisting Stunner rock Miz but again he gets out of the way before the Swanton. Miz slams him neck first onto the apron and we take another break.

Back again with Jeff jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and getting two off the Whisper in the Wind. A baseball slide knocks Miz to the floor but again he avoids the Swanton, this time with a good crotching. Instead it’s a sunset bomb for two as the back and forth continues. The Twist of Fate gets two and a corner dropkick sets up Hardiac Arrest (the other corner dropkick). Another Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton for real this time, but Miz rolls him up for the pin at 20:16.

Rating: B. First of all, good back and forth match. Now for the problem (and I’d bet on this being right): this isn’t going to mean a thing as far as the US Title is confirmed. The champion just got pinned clean and I have a feeling we’re not going to hear a word about Miz wanting to be champion. Money in the Bank has done this before and it makes things all the dumber. Miz just pinned the US Champion clean and I’d be actually surprised if anything happens to the title as a result. I really hope I’m wrong, but odds are that’s where this is going.

Sheamus is eating Lucky Charms because it’s all that makes him feel better after losing to Xavier Woods last week. Cesaro compares it to a hawk losing a mouse between its claws. Sheamus: “I know! I was in the match!” Cesaro says he could have won so he agrees to face Woods tonight as well. He opens his bag and finds….pancakes. Sheamus finds the same thing and panic ensues. I like New Day a lot but WHY ARE PANCAKES FUNNY???

Sanity is coming.

We look at stills of Nakamura vs. Styles.

Renee Young talks to Nakamura, who isn’t cleared for competition tonight. In regards to the issues being over, no speak English. I mean, he knew it before but he’s forgotten it. As for AJ, they’re both nuts (laugh from the crowd) and they’re not finished.

Carmella screeches about beating Charlotte and it’s time to party. She’ll be celebrating next week in London. The Royal Family isn’t invited, just like Ric Flair isn’t invited. Speaking of Flair, did you know he has a daughter? Carmella beat her on Sunday.

Tye Dillinger says seven competitors down on the mat plus one contract plus one ladder plus one person left equals a perfect ten.

Naomi is going to make whomever is champion feel the Glow.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Charlotte vs. Peyton Royce

Before the match, Billie says Charlotte’s loss made her uncle overcome his stutter because he was laughing so hard. Peyton tries to imitate the look but it’s only funny when Charlotte does it. They lock up to start with Charlotte shoving her around. A toss to the floor takes us to an early break. Back with Peyton grabbing a chinlock before choking in the corner. A half nelson over the ropes with her legs has Charlotte in even more trouble and we hit another chinlock. Charlotte fights up with a neckbreaker by the hair but misses a big boot (but Peyton doesn’t sell it like Carmella did on Sunday).

A rollup gets two on Peyton and Charlotte dives onto Billie, leaving Peyton to grab a swinging neckbreaker on the floor. The referee gets distracted by Peyton so Billie can snap Charlotte’s neck across the top, setting up a spinning kick to the face for two. Charlotte is right back with the big boot, only to have the moonsault hit knees. Royce kicks the knee out for two but gets speared down. The Figure Eight makes Peyton tap at 12:56.

Rating: B-. This was a nice surprise, if nothing else as I was getting worried that Charlotte would lose back to back matches. They went with the right call here though as Charlotte is more interesting and you can put Billie in the match later. Just having one of them in there basically means they’re both in there and that’s all you need.

Daniel Bryan is ready to go win the Money in the Bank briefcase again because he cashed in the briefcase right here in Baltimore.

Shelton says he’ll win the briefcase.

Asuka says she’ll win the briefcase.

Xavier Woods vs. Cesaro

Hang on though as Big E. and Kofi have to throw out pancakes. Woods hits and moves but stops himself from running into the referee, allowing Cesaro to run him over. There’s a gutwrench suplex and we take a break. Back with Woods kicking him down and a wheelbarrow faceplant getting two. Sheamus gets on the apron but Big E. throws pancakes at him, allowing Kofi to hit a dive from the apron. The distraction lets Cesaro uppercut Woods out of the air for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D+. Ok, enough with the pancakes. I don’t know if I’m just not getting the joke but it seems to be just more and more pancakes no matter what the situation is. That was funny for a little while but now it’s just an object that’s the joke instead of whatever was behind the object. Either come up with a reason they’re funny or come up with something that is funny, because this is annoying.

AJ Styles is still coming for Nakamura because it’s still about the title.

We see a bunch of destroyed action figures of tag teams. The Bludgeon Brothers say they have their own set of toys so come play with them. They smash the camera with their hammers.

Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose

In the back, Paige says Sonya Deville can’t go out there with Mandy. An early kick to the face gives Mandy two but a chinlock doesn’t last long. The Disarm-Her attempt sends Mandy outside so Becky catches her with the Bexploder instead. Becky’s bouncing kick out of the corner is broken up though and Mandy sends her throat first into the ropes for the pin at 2:26.

Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega debut next week.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Rusev

Bryan starts in on the legs early on and kicks the arm out for good measure. Some more kicks sends Rusev outside so Bryan tries the suicide dive, only to be caught and thrown over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Rusev throwing him around some more but getting dropkicked in the corner.

The Spinning Rock Bottom doesn’t work so Rusev kicks him in the head for two instead. A quick YES Lock sends Rusev bailing to the ropes and Aiden English is rather relieved. Rusev heads outside so Bryan hits the running knee off the apron for two. Back in and the running knee misses, setting up a Machka Kick to give Rusev the completely clean pin at 11:20.

Rating: C+. Uh…..huh? I’m not sure how the reaction to this one is going to go as Rusev winning a big match is nice, but Bryan losing clean almost has to be leading somewhere. You don’t have Bryan come in here and lose like that, but maybe they have something planned. If nothing else, I’m sure Miz has something to say about that loss.

Bryan looks devastated to end the show. It certainly seems like they have something planned there.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, I’m not thrilled with the Money in the Bank season but at least most of the wrestling was good tonight. The Bryan loss is more perplexing than anything else but I could go for finding out where they’re heading with it. We’ve got four weeks of build to the pay per view left and that could go in a lot of directions, which is a good problem to have. Nice show this week, but more importantly it has me wondering about some things.

Results

The Miz b. Jeff Hardy – Rollup

Charlotte b. Peyton Royce – Figure Eight

Cesaro b. Xavier Woods – Uppercut

Mandy Rose b. Becky Lynch – Neck snap across the top rope

Rusev b. Daniel Bryan – Machka Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 4, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night as we have a World Title match headlining the show. Before we can get to that match though, we need a challenger for the title. Therefore, tonight we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Chris Benoit in a #1 contenders match with the winner facing Brock Lesnar for the World Title later in the night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the battle royal with Benoit and Cena both winning, setting up tonight’s title situation.

Here’s Brock to start things off and he wants us to get our YOU TAPPED OUT chants in now because no one will be able to say anything after tonight. He will never tap out again because he’s the greatest WWE Champion ever. Lesnar recaps last week’s events and says he knows Benoit and Cena are scared of him. He beats people up, just like Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly. Tonight, he’s making someone tap out. This was one of the most unnecessary recaps in recent memory.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Shaniqua unmasks the Bashams and let’s pause for a whipping. Again: these are your champions. Danny starts stupid by trying a sunset flip on Rikishi, earning himself a sitdown splash to the face. Doug and Scotty come in as things speed up, including Scotty hitting a flying forearm. Shaniqua’s save attempt earns her an ejection, leaving Danny to drop a Vader Bomb elbow for two on Scotty.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a bit with Scotty kicking Doug off and bringing Rikishi in. The big man cleans house and crushes Doug in the corner but here’s Shaniqua again. What a rule breaker. The Bashams switch and Danny hits Rikishi low. The Worm connects anyway but Rikishi is back up with the Samoan drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Egads what a wreck, and that’s not even including the champions being whipped before the match. The match had very little flow to the match and was a bunch of back and forth brawling with little reason to any of it. The Bashams have been treated like jokes since winning the titles and I have no idea why they’re still champions, save for having no one else to win the things. It’s not like the World’s Greatest Tag Team is on the same show and could have great matches with just about anyone.

Post match Shaniqua yells that they don’t deserve her and walks off. Again: the Tag Team Champions everyone.

We recap the Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar feud.

Paul Heyman is sick of Holly when Dawn Marie comes in, trying to sleep her way into power. Heyman isn’t interested but does tell her to take a memo: Holly is still suspended. She can also have Shannon Moore meet him in the ring. Thank you for not having Heyman turn into a Vince clone.

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan. We see some clips of Shannon Moore’s decimation in recent weeks at the monsters’ hands. Heyman wants Shannon out here right now, which tells me that Dawn is really bad at her job. With Shannon in the ring, Heyman praises him for taking a beating and coming back for more over and over again. Therefore, Shannon gets another match tonight.

Big Show vs. Shannon Moore

Non-title of course. Shannon, who looks terrified, tries a plancha to the floor. Show catches him in midair and throws Shannon from the floor onto the top rope in a cool power display. They head inside with a heck of a clothesline taking Shannon’s head off. Show rips at his face and drops a leg before finishing with the chokeslam in very short order.

Jamie Noble again tells Nidia to stay in the back during his match. She’s already caused him to have two strikes against ever getting another Cruiserweight Title shot. This is about her safety though. Nidia is disappointed but Jamie has an idea.

Sakoda vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings Nidia out with him and hammers away at Sakoda to start. A clothesline takes Noble down and a backbreaker keeps him in trouble. Sakoda gets sent outside though and Jamie adds a suicide dive (more like a suicide shove) to keep him down. The referee has to deal with Tajiri though, allowing Noble to throw Nidia inside and ram her into Sakoda. That’s enough to set up a rollup to give Noble the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much time to do anything here but it’s nice to see Noble get a win. At the same time though, it’s not nice to see Noble turning heel again after he was starting to find his footing as a face. I’m not sure where this leaves Noble though, as he doesn’t have an opponent since the division basically doesn’t exist. Hopefully he’s still around though because I’ve enjoyed him more than most people on this show as of late.

Post match Nidia freaks out so Noble tells her that Tajiri’s other goon threw her inside.

Cole and Tazz act like Noble shot someone.

We look back at the end of the battle royal again. It’s impressive that they managed to get their feet on the ground at the exact same time.

Cena is ready to do whatever it takes to win. Benoit comes in and says he can get the Crossface on at anytime.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says Heyman is protecting Brock because either of them could beat Brock. Benoit wastes no time in pounding Cena down in the corner and getting two off a shoulder. The hard clothesline and the Shuffle give Cena the same as the fans are behind Cena so far. A double chickenwing keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets two. Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex but the frustration over the kickout lets Benoit roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and the FU connects for the pin….but Benoit’s foot was on the ropes.

The referee didn’t see it so here’s a second referee to throw us to instant replay. As you try to figure out if WWE has ever done that before or since, the match is ruled to restart. Back from a break with Cena missing a clothesline and having his arm slammed into the mat. Benoit dropkicks the arm and hits a hammerlock northern lights suplex as the target is set up. More kicks and stomps to the arm as Taz thinks Cena can’t get out of the blocks. How much more out of them does he need to get when he already pinned Benoit once?

We hit an armbar for a few moments but Cena shoves him away and scores with a knee to the ribs. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right back with a Sharpshooter. Cena makes a rope and Tazz calls this a pick’em, despite Benoit being in full control. An FU (more like a Samoan drop) puts Benoit down but here’s Big Show for a distraction. Benoit is right there with the Crossface and Cena taps to give Benoit the title shot.

Rating: B. It was a little overbooked but it told a story and the right guy won. Even if Benoit loses later in the night, it’s as simple of an excuse as he went fifteen minutes earlier in the night and isn’t at 100%. Cena isn’t ready for this big of a win yet and he gets some points back from the pin earlier in the match. This should set up Big Show vs. Cena (non-title of course because Big Show isn’t that kind of champion) but I could see them waiting around even more on the big Cena push.

Chavo Guerrero has a match but wants Eddie to stay in the back, despite Chavo having a bad knee. Eddie wants to know what’s wrong with him but Chavo says for once, it’s about him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is ready to go but here’s Eddie in a lowrider anyway. Well he did rent the thing already so it’s not costing anything extra. Shelton jumps the distracted Chavo from behind but a headscissors gets Chavo out of trouble. As this is going on, Eddie pulls out a lawn chair, one of those hats with a pair of drinks (Y J Stinger in this case) and a Smackdown Magazine.

Shelton uses the second distraction to start going after the knee with a shinbreaker and a leglock. Back up and Chavo makes a standard comeback, capped off with a tornado DDT. The referee has to deal with Charlie Haas though, leaving Eddie to frog splash Shelton and give Eddie the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick angle advancement here as Chavo’s full on heel turn gets one week close. That’s the smart move too as the fans aren’t going to boo Eddie no matter what he does at this point. Chavo isn’t the most interesting guy but a family member stabbing him in the back and turning on him is going to work just fine.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

Benoit shows us the clip of Brock tapping at Survivor Series, triggering the YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

The FBI takes bets on the main event with A-Train betting $10,000 on Benoit. That’s quite the show of respect. It’s also a show of the two feuding again after Benoit loses.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging. Brock wastes no time in firing off the hard shoulders in the corner and stomping at the ribs. Some armdrags send Lesnar outside and Benoit posts him for good measure. Back in and a Crossface attempt sends Lesnar outside again. Benoit tries to go a bit too fast though and gets caught in what would become known as the Shell Shock. Brock sends him outside again and gorilla press drops him on the announcers’ table.

It’s time for the rear naked choke but since this isn’t MMA Brock yet, it’s a glorified chinlock. Benoit fights up, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to send us to a break. Back with Benoit missing a charge and falling out to the floor. One heck of a whip into the steps rocks Benoit but really seems to wake him up for some right hands to Lesnar’s head. Another whip into the steps has Brock in trouble but he’s right back with a release German suplex to cut Benoit off again.

Much like Benoit earlier, Brock tries to get too speedy and charges into the post, allowing Benoit to show him the proper way to roll German suplexes. A flying tackle of all things sets up the Swan Dive for two but Brock rolls out of the Crossface. The ref gets bumped (erg) and the Crossface goes on, making Lesnar tap. Brock hits a very fast F5 with Benoit landing on his back for a delayed two. With the YOU TAPPED OUT chants making Brock angrier, he chairs Benoit on the knee and debuts the Brock Lock, bending Benoit’s knee around his neck and sitting down like a half crab. Benoit passes out to retain Brock’s title.

Rating: B+. That’s all you could hope for it to be with Benoit getting closer and closer every single time but not being able to get over the goal line again. As mentioned though, you can just point to him having two matches tonight and it’s instantly excused. Throw in Brock tapping to the Crossface and you could easily have a rematch.

Post match Brock puts on a Crossface of his own and grabs Benoit’s hand to make him tap.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re advancing several stories here and that’s a good thing, though some of the stories are a good bit better than others. Benoit looked like a star here and that’s what matters most. I could go for Cena vs. Lesnar at the Royal Rumble instead of Lesnar vs. Holly, but since the story is already there with Holly, WWE’s hands are completely tied and they have no choice but to go that way instead of with the interesting and better match. The wrestling was good here, but I could go for some heels that aren’t either Heyman or not covered in muscles for a change. Issues aside, good night overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 1, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re still in Montreal and this time around it’s the go home show for Backlash. The big story tonight is Shinsuke Nakamura demanding an apology from AJ Styles. Other than that we need to build up Backlash quite a bit, but there’s so much fallout from the Greatest Royal Rumble to get through first. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Greatest Royal Rumble Results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Shane McMahon being chokeslammed through the announcers’ table by Braun Strowman.

Paige says that Shane won’t be here tonight before recapping AJ vs. Nakamura from Friday. As for Backlash, the title match is now No DQ.

It’s time for MizTV. Miz cuts the fans chanting for Maryse off by saying he took her to Hollywood. That brings him to his Intercontinental Title match on Sunday with Seth Rollins. Jeff Hardy is the guest tonight so we’re ready to go. Miz won’t shake Jeff’s hand because he just high fived all of these dirty Montreal fans. First question: does Jeff think Miz is a better Intercontinental Champion than Seth Rollins.

Jeff agrees, if you want a champion who is self obsessed and annoying. Miz isn’t pleased with that and throws it to a clip of Randy Orton taking Jeff’s place against Shelton Benjamin last week. He’d like to know what Orton thinks of that so here’s Randy Orton as the second guest. Orton doesn’t think much of it because Jeff did the same the week before. Miz brings up the superstar rating scale from a few months ago, which had Orton ranked ninth. Orton: “I don’t think anybody cares about any Smackdown Top Ten list.” Preach it brother.

Jeff says it was Sunil Singh costing Orton the match last week but Miz disagrees. Orton doesn’t like Miz stirring the pot like this and says he’s taking the title back at Backlash. They seem cool but here’s Shelton Benjamin to say he deserves the title shot. Orton kicks him down and Jeff gives Miz the Whisper in the Wind.

Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin/The Miz

Joined in progress (because WWE knows one way to follow up on segments like that) with Hardy stomping on Benjamin. It’s off to Orton for an RKO attempt but Shelton dropkicks him down for a delayed two. Miz comes in and the fans aren’t happy to see him. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Orton suplexes his way out and it’s off to Hardy. The basement dropkick gets two and the Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two.

Miz is sent outside so Jeff gives Benjamin a Twisting Stunner but Shelton knees him in the face to break up the Swanton. Back from a break with Miz holding Jeff in a chinlock but he fights out with a jawbreaker. Another takedown to Shelton is enough for the hot tag to Orton. House is cleaned in a hurry with the double DDT to Miz and Benjamin. The powerslam brings Jeff back in for the Swanton and the pin on Benjamin at 11:57.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here but I’m getting tired of these thrown together tag matches. Come up with something better than doing the same thing over and over again. It’s not bad or anything, but we’ve seen it before. At least they set up another title match for Sunday, even if it’s not something I’m really interested in seeing. Hardy pinning Orton would be a nice boost for his recharged singles push.

Post match Orton hits Hardy with a quick RKO.

The Iconics make fun of Renee Young but she defends her Canadian accent. They brag about winning last week and tell Renee to go chase a moose because they have this. Billie brings in Carmella for the interview so she can brag about beating Charlotte. She’ll do it again on Sunday and they’ll even win in their six woman tag tonight.

We hear Daniel Bryan say he thought he could win on Friday but he didn’t lose because he was tired. He lost because he couldn’t get Braun Strowman out of the ring. His chest is nearly destroyed and the doctors have kept him out of the ring tonight due to a possible infection.

The Bar has their Smackdown contracts and brag about being the new force around here. New Day shows up with a plate of pancakes for them but the Bar throws them away, fearing some, ahem, added ingredients. That’s too far for New Day so Sheamus challenges Xavier Woods for a match tonight. Woods agrees, saying that Sheamus’ soul belongs to him.

Rusev Day is trying to come up with a new song but Lana, in a Rusev Day shirt, comes in to interrupt them. She asks to speak to Rusev alone and says Rusev is missing something to get him over the top. Rusev doesn’t get what she means and oh hi again English.

Here’s Big Cass with something to say. He’s from New York City and that means a few things, including that he’s better than all of us. Cass yells that he’s better than anyone here, just like he’s better than Daniel Bryan. He’s seven foot tall and powerful, which is everything Bryan isn’t.

Here’s AJ Styles to talk to Renee Young in the ring. AJ says he’s trying to defend the title and Nakamura is more interested in the wrong jewels. Now Nakamura wants a public apology so AJ should have left him sucking sand in the desert. He’s fine with the No DQ stipulation on Sunday because AJ can break rules too. On Sunday, a low blow will be the least of Nakamura’s worries. If Nakamura wants an apology, he can come get one.

Cue Samoa Joe to say that AJ needs to pay better attention to the more important match. After he puts Reigns to sleep on Sunday, he’s coming for whoever leaves with the WWE Championship. Oh….I think I can go for this. Nakamura’s music hits and Joe is ready but we cut to the ring where Nakamura hits AJ low again. Kinshasa knocks AJ silly for good measure and Nakamura holds up the title. I fully support Joe becoming more involved with the World Title situation.

Becky Lynch isn’t happy with what happened last week and is sorry for costing Asuka her first match on Smackdown. Asuka is next to her and says they’ll hit back three times harder. Charlotte wants to destroy the Iconics and Asuka says Avengers Assemble.

Sheamus vs. Xavier Woods

Sheamus knocks him into the corner so Woods comes back with a dropkick and speeds things up. Another dropkick puts Sheamus outside for a running flip dive. A Cesaro distraction lets Sheamus get in a knee lift and we take a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on the arm to keep Woods down even longer.

Woods fights up and slugs away before sending a charging Sheamus shoulder first into the post. A twisting legdrop gets two and there’s a Shining Wizard to rock Sheamus again. Cesaro and Big E. get into it on the floor and the distraction lets Woods grab a quick small package for the pin at 10:27.

Rating: D+. The ending was as obvious as you could get but at least the actual tag matches should be fun. Woods winning matches is almost weird, even though he’s not that bad in the ring. The problem is he has no singles success compared to Kofi and Big E., but he’s still a good enough addition to the team to keep things balanced.

We look at Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville ripping on Becky Lynch last week but referees broke it up.

Mandy and Sonya come in to see Paige for an Absolution reunion. They’re happy with the new boss and want to know which of them will be getting the Women’s Title match. Paige picks Mandy but it’s really just a match with Becky next week. Sonya wants to know what’s going on so Paige breaks the news to her: Absolution is dead.

Zelina Vega says Andrade Cien Almas will come when he feels like it.

Backlash rundown.

Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Asuka vs. Iconics/Carmella

Carmella tries to hide from Charlotte to start and brings in Peyton to face Becky. Peyton is taken down in short order and Becky does a little dance before it’s off to Billie. Asuka comes in and takes her into the corner….where Billie thinks slapping Asuka is a good idea. Charlotte: “SHE’S GONNA KILL YOU!”

Charlotte comes in and dives onto the Iconics, sending Carmella running as we take a break. Back with Becky cleaning house and handing it off to Charlotte for more of the same. The numbers game catches up with Charlotte though and we hit the chinlock. Therefore, GET THAT INSET PROMO GOING! Charlotte fights up as we’re back to full screen and a kick to the chest knocks Carmella away.

Asuka tags herself in and hip attacks everyone to the floor. A kick to the head drops Peyton for two and everything breaks down. Charlotte spears Carmella (who sits down instead of flying backwards) and moonsaults out to the floor onto all three. Peyton gets thrown back inside and tries an O’Connor roll, only to get reversed into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 13:24.

Rating: C+. I’m usually not a fan of this kind of booking but I’m really, really hoping that they put the title back on Charlotte. I really have no interest in having Charlotte do the “I’m better than you but you keep escaping with the title” stuff with Carmella for months on end. The briefcase continues to be such a lame booking crutch and it’s all they have here, which is really quite annoying. Just get past this already and let us do something better.

Overall Rating: C-. This felt like another show where they were taking the night off because they were still worn out from all the travel. But hey, at least we have another FOUR HOUR pay per view on Sunday, because remember the WWE philosophy: more means better! The talking was good here but egads it feels like there’s been a two hour show every day for weeks now. Next week can’t get here soon enough so we can calm things down a bit because you can tell everyone is worn out at the moment.

Results

Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton b. Shelton Benjamin/The Miz – Swanton Bomb to Benjamin

Xavier Woods b. Sheamus – Small package

Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Asuka b. Iconics/Carmella – Asuka Lock to Royce

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 27, 2003
Location: BSU Pavilion, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and there are some stories that are starting to pick up steam. Last week saw Chris Benoit continue his feud with Smackdown World Champion Brock Lesnar and John Cena seemed ready to start something with Vince McMahon. They have about two months before they can do anything on pay per view but maybe we can get a big TV match in there somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with most of the roster standing on the apron and Paul Heyman in the ring. Tonight the spirit of opportunity is in the air because there will be a twenty man battle royal. The winner will receive a shot at Brock Lesnar, who comes to the ring to join Heyman. Lesnar is thankful to be twenty six years old and on his way to being the greatest WWE Champion of all time.

The YOU TAPPED OUT chants get on his nerves but he swears that he’s not afraid of anyone. He’s not afraid of a Mexican jumping bean, or someone who stands 7ft tall and weighs 500lbs or a guy who has never been champion (Cena) or a guy who will never be champion (Benoit). The chants start again and Lesnar admits that he did, but he’ll never do it again. Whoever wins the battle royal is going to tap out instead. Brock whispers something to Heyman, who decides that Cena and Benoit have to qualify for the battle royal. Cena has to defeat A-Train and Benoit will face a hand picked opponent, with that match starting next.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Morgan

This couldn’t be announced five minutes in advance? Benoit baseball slides him before the bell but Morgan goes to the basic power by throwing him into various corners. A suplex and legdrop to the stomp give Morgan two but he misses the running crotch attack to the back. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit reverses a powerbomb into the Crossface for the win.

Rating: D. Time takes another one here as there’s not much Benoit can do when all he’s able to hit are chops and the Crossface. Morgan is still very green and needs more time in developmental, but he has the look and some of the movement down. The size, power and visuals will carry him far enough though and that’s a good starting point.

Jamie Noble asks Nidia if she can’t see because she might be trying to get extra attention. Nidia mocks her for the stupid question so he shouts in her ear because he thinks being blind and deaf are the same things. He brings up her being a liability at ringside so she promises to just sit at ringside, which is enough to make him give in. Also of note: Jamie says a win tonight could get him into the battle royal so he could become WWE Champion. If he’s allowed to compete for that title, why does the Cruiserweight Title exist?

We get a weird (and stupid) bit with Cole and Tazz as CGI turkeys. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

The Cat is here tonight.

Jamie Noble vs. Akio

Nidia is on commentary. Akio jumps him from behind to start and stomps away in the corner as Nidia talks about the possibilities of getting her sight back. A suicide dive takes Akio down but Noble chases Tajiri, allowing Akio to spinwheel kick him down. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence as Nidia is getting annoyed at not being able to see any of this.

A double clothesline takes both guys down and cheers for Jamie after hearing what happened. Jamie gets two off a swinging neckbreaker but Tajiri is going over to Nidia. A superplex drops Akio as Tajiri is now standing on the table in front of her. Nidia is told what’s going on and slowly walks her hands up Tajiri’s legs, setting up one of the best looking low blows I’ve seen in a long time. Tajiri’s eyes bug out as Akio rolls up a distracted Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C-. That low blow alone made the match work and Jamie continues to be one of the most consistent performers on the roster at the moment. Even with an annoying gimmick he’s making the thing work and putting on good matches. I’d love to see him actually get the title back but that’s as far as he’s going to go, which is the annoying part of being a cruiserweight.

Heyman comes in to see the injured Shannon Moore and, after a plug for Smackdown Magazine, gives him a match with Nathan Jones.

Rey Mysterio is thankful for the fans dialing up 619 and for being alive. Well those are rather opposite ends of the spectrum.

Shannon Moore vs. Nathan Jones

Shannon tries his luck and dropkicks Jones before he can get inside. Jones lifts him from the floor to the top rope and shoves him back onto the floor in a big crash. Two raised feet in the corner rock Jones but he’s right back with a reverse slam off the top. Back in and a release gutwrench suplexes ends the slaughter. Moore’s selling continues to be good in something like this.

The Thanksgiving party took place earlier today with John Cena coming in to rap the blessing, which involves sex jokes about every woman on the roster.

Eddie Guerrero runs into Chavo, who is on crutches after last week. Chavo is going to be ringside for Eddie’s match but Eddie wants Chavo to worry about the knee. Don’t worry though, because Eddie’s success is more important.

Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero

Charlie’s right hands have very little effect to start as Eddie snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. That’s enough of the back so Eddie starts in on the knee with Chavo adding in a few shots of his own. Haas gets in his own backbreaker for his own two as the fans start some solid Eddie chanting. With that not working, Charlie starts in on the arm to really change things up. Annoyed at Haas for not trying the same thing for very long, Eddie sends him head first into the buckle a few times, followed by Three Amigos. Shelton Benjamin gets on the apron so Eddie steals Chavo’s crutch to hit Charlie for the pin.

Rating: C. As has been the case for the last few weeks, this was a short match that could have gone longer but I can get the idea of putting in more stuff and going with the logical, positive development. Eddie using the crutch was pretty heelish but he’s just going to grin his way out of it, as tends to be his case.

Post match Shelton beats on Chavo so Eddie makes the save with the crutch. Chavo rips into Eddie for STEALING AN INJURED MAN’S ONLY CRUTCH. Well yeah that’s pretty low.

John Cena vs. A-Train

A-Train breaks up the rap and stomps away but misses the bicycle kick. Instead he runs Cena over and gets two off a running powerslam. It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments before Cena is tossed outside. As the announcers have a discussion of whether or not turkeys have hair, the referee gets bumped so Cena can kick the rope for a low blow. The referee is back up to see a slow motion ProtoBomb but A-Train is right back with a Derailer for two. That means it’s time to be frustrated so A-Train throws some chairs in, only to walk into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re doing well with the progression of Cena’s face turn here as the cheating is getting less frequent. Here, he finished clean with the FU instead of using one of the chairs that A-Train threw in. He’s starting to see the light, but he’s also getting to the point where he can win without the cheating. They’re getting there.

We recap Hardcore Holly attacking Brock Lesnar last week and getting suspended.

Hardcore Holly joins us for a live interview and says he’s appealed his suspension (To whom? Vince? The mythical board of directors?) and is coming for Brock. I would say run but….is that really a threat?

Here’s Lamont to introduce his boss: The Cat, to what would become Brodus Clay’s theme music. For those of you who don’t remember him, that would be Ernest Miller, a decent talker who couldn’t wrestle a good match 80% of the time (he wasn’t the worst but rarely got out of first gear) and danced a lot while talking like James Brown. Cat dances, no one cares, hometown girl Torrie Wilson comes out to join him, a few people care. Torrie pulls out the lollipop and puts it in her mouth before lowering it into his mouth. Cat goes into convulsions as Torrie leaves. This took nearly seven minutes.

John Cena wishes some friends and family a Happy Thanksgiving.

Battle Royal

John Cena, Chris Benoit, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, A-Train, Bradshaw, Johnny Stamboli, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Orlando Jordan, Chuck Palumbo, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, Rhyno, Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, Big Show

Show actually goes after Morgan for a few seconds but Jones saves Rikishi for some reason. A bunch of people go after Show but he shoves them all away. They try it again and actually try to lift him this time, meaning the elimination works. I’m surprised they got rid of him that fast. Show clotheslines Jordan in the aisle to blow off some steam as we go to a quick break.

Back with Jones and Bradshaw having been eliminated during the commercial. Mysterio and Guerrero go at it and the fans REALLY like that one but no one is tossed. Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the apron as A-Train kicks Scotty out. Rhyno is up with a Gore to A-Train and Eddie dropkicks A-Train out, followed by Morgan eliminating Rhyno as well. There’s a 619 to Shelton as everything slows down. Rikishi is the next person to get the group elimination but takes Haas, Palumbo and Morgan with him.

We’re down to Cena, Benoit, Doug Basham, Mysterio, Guerrero and Benjamin. Cena and Benoit catch Mysterio’s springboard and toss him as well with Basham going out seconds later. The final four go to a corner each and the fans are behind Cena here. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit as Cena and Shelton fight in the corner. They trade off and Cena takes Three Amigos but isn’t ready to be eliminated.

Shelton is back up with a hard powerbomb on Eddie but Benoit grabs the rolling German suplexes on Benjamin to put everyone down. Eddie is up with a frog splash on Benjamin but walks into the FU. Now the rolling German suplexes drops Cena so Shelton pops up with a superkick to Benoit. Shelton throws Benoit over but a little skinning the cat allows Benoit to pull himself up for a headscissors to get rid of Benjamin.

Cena dumps Eddie and we’re down to two. The slugout goes to Cena but Benoit grabs the Crossface to make Cena tap (you don’t see that too often). Instead of dumping him though, Benoit drops Cena ribs first onto the top rope. They fight onto the apron and fall to the floor at the same time for the double elimination.

Rating: C+. This got way better once we got to the final four when there was some drama about the winner. They didn’t waste time getting rid of a bunch of the dead weight here and it was cool to see Shelton getting a bit of a push. Cena is clearly the future around here though and that makes thing more interesting. Good match here and it didn’t feel long at all, which is a rarity in battle royals.

The referees, wrestlers and announcers argue as Lesnar and Heyman come out for the title match. Back from a break with replays showing that they really do land at the same time. The referees still don’t agree and both wrestlers swear they win. Heyman thinks that means a triple threat but that wouldn’t be in the best interest of the title. Therefore, Cena and Benoit can fight next week and the winner will get the title shot later that night. So there’s your non-pay per view big TV show of the month. Team Lesnar runs in to beat down Cena and Benoit with Lesnar wishing them a happy Thanksgiving to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Lame ending aside with the lack of the advertised title match, it’s cool to have a show that actually has an interesting goal and then focuses on that goal for two hours. Most of the matches have to do with setting up the battle royal and you can feel Cena and Benoit getting bigger and bigger every week. There’s a lot of potential in there and if they do it right, Smackdown could be a heck of a show again in very short order.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 24, 2018
Location: KFC Yum Center, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the other go home show for the Greatest Royal Rumble and that could mean a lot of tag matches tonight. The big story is Daniel Bryan showing up on MizTV for his first real showdown with Miz since he’s been cleared to wrestle again. That likely means Big Cass interfering to set up a Backlash match, but it could be fun either way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Bruno Sammartino.

We open with MizTV and Miz silencing us all. Miz knows this is the A show but something is missing. That something is a title, which his guest vacated a few years back and that Miz will win again in Saudi Arabia. His guest is a man who just two weeks ago said that he wanted to punch Miz in the face. A few weeks ago, Miz’s life changed when his daughter was born and Miz thought Bryan’s daughter would have changed that. Maybe Birdie and Daniel don’t have the same bond that he and Monroe Sky do.

Miz knows Louisville wants to see Bryan come out here and punch him in the face so bring it on. Instead it’s Big Cass in a suit to say that he’ll be the guest since Bryan is nowhere to be seen. He was cleared on the same day as Bryan and no one was talking about him (So he’s the Groucho Marx to Bryan’s Elvis? Well, give or take a few days.). Miz gets annoyed at Cass for talking down to him and Cass goes on a rant about how Bryan should be picking up his trash but instead is getting the spotlight.

Bryan spews garbage to these people and they’re all nothing. Cass was like Bryan until he was about fifteen and that sucked. Then he grew up and beat up everyone who treated him badly. Now Cass is big, right and handsome but he lives in Bryan’s shadow. I like Cass, but this long form promo is NOT his strong suit and this was rocky to put it nicely.

Becky Lynch and Asuka are coming to the ring for a match when they find Bryan being tended to and clutching his shoulder.

Here are the Iconics for a tag match but, after saying how hot they are, Peyton does a Becky Lynch impression, talking about four leaf clovers and other things I couldn’t understand. The Iconics’ thinking: Charlotte broke Asuka’s undefeated streak and they beat Charlotte, so they’re better than Asuka!

Becky Lynch/Asuka vs. Iconics

Joined in progress with Lynch rolling Royce up for two but a cheap shot in the corner puts Becky in trouble. It’s off to Billie for some choking on the ropes and the arm work begins. Billie taunts Asuka a bit too much though and Becky gets a boot up in the corner. The hot tag brings in Asuka to clean house, including some strikes and a standing ankle lock to Royce. There’s a German suplex before it’s off to Becky again, only to have her run into Asuka by mistake. That leaves Becky two on one and Peyton sends her into the post, setting up a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D+. I approve of the winners and it’s not like Becky and Asuka are really hurt here. The important thing is to make the Iconics people to be feared as they’re not the most physically threatening combination but they’re more than capable of being an issue all over the place. Their personalities alone will carry them for miles.

A smiling AJ Styles leaves Shane McMahon’s office as a happy man. Tonight it’s a six man tag with Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev Day vs. AJ/some people who are Too Sweet.

Greatest Royal Rumble rundown.

Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega are coming.

Naomi comes in to see the Usos but won’t promise not to come out and help Jimmy this week. Jimmy says it’s ok but he knows Naomi loves him. They’ll get the titles back on Friday and tonight he’s taking care of Rowan. He’s got this, but Naomi still looks worried.

Rowan vs. Jimmy Uso

Jimmy gets dropkicked at the bell and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Harper kicks Jey in the shoulder as Jimmy low bridges Rowan to the floor. The suicide dive doesn’t work so Jimmy posts him, setting up a high crossbody back inside. Jimmy gets shoved off the top and into the barricade though and pain seems imminent. Rowan loads him up for something but cue Naomi with the full Glow entrance for a distraction, allowing Jey to superkick Harper. Jimmy rolls Rowan up for the pin at 2:52.

It’s time for the contract signing between Carmella and Charlotte. Carmella comes out first and takes over from Renee Young, saying she’s here first because she’s the champ and makes the rules. She shows us the same highlight package from last week but isn’t happy with the reception. Therefore she shows it again, but this time Charlotte interrupts. Carmella won’t stop holding up the title until Renee tells her to sit down and sign. They sign and the table is flipped onto Carmella, allowing Charlotte to walk away in short order.

More Greatest Royal Rumble rundown. My goodness I know they’re heading to Saudi Arabia soon but could you be a little less obvious about filling in so much time?

Aiden English says Shinsuke Nakamura isn’t giving interviews.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hang on a second as Jeff is passed over for someone else.

Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin

Jeff is at ringside. The announcers talk about the famed OVW Class of 2002 as Orton punches away to start. Shelton pulls him arm first into the top rope and kicks Orton to the floor to take over. Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with the dragon whip for two.

The powerslam takes Shelton down and there’s the hanging DDT. Shelton is smart enough to roll away when Orton is crouched down and slapping the mat for the RKO. Hardy watches on as a masked man takes out his knee. Orton grabs said masked man and unmasks him as Sunil Singh. That earns him an RKO but Shelton grabs Paydirt for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: D. I’m not feeling this story but unfortunately it looks like Mahal is getting the US Title back on Friday, meaning the Intercontinental Title is likely taking its place. That’s all well and good, but my goodness they’re not exactly doing their best to make the story interesting. Or maybe that’s just Mahal being shoved down our throats no matter how uninteresting he is.

New Day is celebrating (with champagne glasses full of BootyO’s and pancakes) to the success of their new book. Cue the Bar to say they’re bringing the titles to Smackdown because unlike the pancakes, the competition around here doesn’t stack up. They take the pancakes and hit the catchphrase because they can.

Anderson and Gallows are fired up to be Styles’ partners tonight.

Sanity is coming.

Daniel Bryan has a very taped up shoulder and says he was attacked by a coward, who he says was 7ft tall. At Backlash, he faces Big Cass and he’ll be fine for the Greatest Royal Rumble. Makes sense, and I could see them holding off on Miz vs. Bryan for a few months.

Samoa Joe is ready to take the Intercontinental Title. He’s fine with becoming a double champion at Backlash if Roman Reigns wins the Universal Title. Believe that.

AJ Styles/Anderson and Gallows vs. Rusev Day/Shinsuke Nakamura

Shinsuke now has a Japanese rock song set to the tune of his old music. I could go for never hearing that again. Graves says it’s because Nakamura is sick of the fans singing along. How does he know this? Graves: “Because I habla espanol.” Styles and Nakamura start but English gets tagged in before anything happens. That earns Nakamura a forearm off the apron and AJ pulls English into the corner for the tag to Gallows. So why isn’t AJ considered a coward too?

The villains are knocked outside in short order and we take a break. Back with Rusev kicking AJ in the head so Aiden can grab a chinlock. Therefore, let’s hit that inset promo for Friday! Back again with Rusev slamming AJ but getting kicked in the head, allowing the hot tag to Anderson. Everything breaks down but Nakamura kicks Gallows in the knee, setting up Kinshasa to the back of Gallows’ head for the pin at 10:08.

Rating: C-. Pretty standard main event six man here and there’s nothing wrong with giving Nakamura a pin before the title match, even if there’s not much benefit to pinning Gallows. I could very easily see a title change on Friday, but Nakamura is almost certainly getting the title at some point. If not, I’m not sure where he goes from here as it would make him look like a huge choker.

Post match AJ goes after Nakamura but takes ANOTHER low blow but Anderson shoves AJ out of the way to take Kinshasa. AJ is still down and can’t help Anderson from taking a second Kinshasa (sounds like a setup for an Anderson and Gallows turn to Nakamura) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I’m suddenly relieved I didn’t go to this show. This really missed for me with barely any wrestling that mattered (fair enough as you don’t want to put too much on the wrestlers before they head halfway around the world) but egads this wasn’t a strong show. It felt like they were filling in as much time as they could (Cass’ promo going WAY longer than it needed to and the Carmella video playing twice) and that’s rather annoying with something like this. Not the worst show ever, but a major letdown off the potential the Superstar Shakeup shows us.

Results

Iconics b. Becky Lynch/Asuka – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Jimmy Uso b. Rowan – Rollup

Shelton Benjamin b. Randy Orton – Paydirt

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev Day b. AJ Styles/Anderson and Gallows

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 20, 2003
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Survivor Series and that means a few months of calm as Smackdown doesn’t have a pay per view until January and it’s own show isn’t until February. There are several ways to go with the World Title hunt at the moment but Chris Benoit, who made Brock Lesnar tap out on Sunday, should be the likely next challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very banged up Vince McMahon, accompanied by Sable, to get things going. Vince can barely breathe once he gets in and says he almost died. He was pummeled and bleeding from various places to the point that he had to have a transfusion. Undertaker “practically pummeled his privates” and Sable had to relieve the pain with a massage. Then Undertaker shattered his ankle and hit him in the head with a shovel.

After all that they went to the grave but Vince never lost faith. The higher power sent an avenging angel in the form of Kane and Vince was saved. Kane will be here tonight for Undertaker’s eulogy and Vince has never felt more powerful. He feels invincible and untouchable….and here’s John Cena.

Vince is confused and Cena accuses him of stealing his catchphrases. Maybe Vince just has nothing to touch. We could ask Sable, who is just here for the money. When Vince is gone, she comes to tickle Cena’s funny bone. Vince is standing in his ring so Cena offers to stretch him. Oh and Sable is good for one thing: she taught Vince how to suck. Funny stuff, and it’s nice to see Cena getting a rub like this.

Brock Lesnar yells at his Survivor Series team, blaming them for the loss. They’re the reasons he tapped out to Chris Benoit and THEY MADE THE FANS CHANT YOU TAPPED OUT! He’s the WWE Champion and that shouldn’t happen to him. He’ll be getting respect and tonight, the team will be facing the members of Team Angle tonight. Lesnar gives them all individual pep talks and wants them out of his face because they disgust him.

Rey Mysterio vs. Akio

Tajiri and Sakoda only come to the entrance so Akio is here alone. Rey slugs away to start but gets dropped by a hard shoulder from the bigger Akio. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors works a bit better for Mysterio so Akio takes him down and pulls on the arms while putting his foot on Rey’s head. One heck of a clothesline turns Rey inside out for two and we hit the neck crank.

For some reason Akio goes up top but gets crotched down, which Cole thinks might be a turning point. You mean because control turned on a point Cole? Rey gets two off a tornado DDT but gets kicked in the face. Akio’s corkscrew moonsault misses though and it’s the 619 to set up the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C. This was getting going when they wrapped it up. Mysterio beating one of Tajiri’s goons should move him closer to a Cruiserweight Title shot, which would be a nice story for everyone involved. Tajiri is starting to get some traction so eventually losing the title to Mysterio would work well. As usual, having goons around is a great way to extend a feud like this.

Paul Heyman is looking for Shannon Moore but finds the Bashams chained up with a ball gag in Danny’s mouth as Shaniqua whips them. CHAMPIONS ladies and gentlemen. Shaniqua says they’re celebrating and the Bashams seem very pleased but Shannon comes in to save us all. Heyman is ready to make Shannon a star and he has a match next. His opponent: Matt Morgan.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon slaps him in the face and hammers away to start, earning a heck of a faceplant. Matt chokes in the corner and hits a hard slam, only to have Shannon kick him in the head. Morgan throws him around even more, including a one handed toss over the top, giving us one of Shannon’s great bumps. Back in and Matt pulls him up at two, followed by a spinning sitout powerbomb to complete the destruction.

Ad for Smackdown, showing nothing but the women in various stages of undress. I’ve heard of worse advertising campaigns, but this feels so out there compared to today’s family friendly stuff.

A-Train vs. Bradshaw

Rematch from last week because of reasons. The brawl is on in the aisle before the bell, meaning we’re officially getting a bonus. They get inside with Bradshaw pounding on the back and in the corner until A-Train knocks him down and gets two off a splash. Bradshaw gets a horrible looking DDT (A-Train fell to the side) and they’re both down. A-Train is sent outside and it’s a Derailer on the floor to knock Bradshaw silly. That’s only good for two back inside and Bradshaw gets the same off a small package. A-Train’s Vader Bomb hits a raised boot and a bicycle kick blocks the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D. Who in the world was asking for this to be a trilogy? They had two matches and Bradshaw pinned A-Train on Sunday. Other than Hardcore Holly, it’s not like you can get much lower on the Angle team than Bradshaw so why would I want to see him fight over and over? Not the worst match but some of the least interest I can imagine having.

Nathan Jones vs. Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar is with Jones. Benoit goes straight for the knee but gets shoved outside for his efforts. Back in and Jones gets low bridged to the floor because Jones may be strong but Benoit is smart. Lesnar throws him back in and Jones doesn’t disappoint him by grabbing a powerslam. A chinlock is somewhat more disappointing but a spinning side slam gets two.

It’s already back to the chinlock (try a neck crank next time) until Benoit fights up and avoids a running big boot. The rolling German suplexes set up a missile dropkick (pretty rare for Benoit) but the Swan Dive only hits mat. Benoit slips out of a gorilla press, slaps on the Crossface, takes Lesnar out, grabs the Crossface again and gets the tap.

Rating: D+. Benoit was trying here and Jones could have been worse, but it’s clear that he’s not ready for this spot no matter how much WWE is obsessed with his look. Thankfully it looks like they’re setting up Benoit vs. Lesnar, likely in the big TV show when they don’t have a pay per view in December, so at least we have something to look forward to.

Post match Lesnar goes after Benoit but Hardcore Holly runs in and puts on the dreaded full nelson until Heyman and security come out to have Holly arrested. Oh and he’s indefinitely suspended too. As I said before the pay per view: I still don’t know why WWE thinks people care about Holly.

Here’s Kane to eulogize Undertaker. Kane talks about how the man we knew as Undertaker has been dead for a long time. They used to be monsters together and strike fear into the hearts of mortal men. Then Undertaker betrayed his family by having compassion and defended Stephanie (add this to the list of stories she’s driving without being here).

A monster isn’t supposed to have weaknesses and Undertaker is a fraud. The people cheering for him are true to their nature, unlike Undertaker who was dead before Survivor Series. All Kane can say to him is rest in peace. That’s the start of a long term story if I’ve ever heard one.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending after successfully doing so this Sunday on Heat. The referee throws Akio and Sakoda out so this is going to be one on one. Jamie wastes no time in chopping away as the announcers recap Tajiri blinding Nidia. Noble gets sent outside and walks back in for a spinning kick to the shoulder.

We hit the armbar for a bit until Tajiri kicks him in the arm again to cut off the comeback. La majistral gets two on the champ so he kicks Noble in the head to slow him down again. Another kick to the head gets two but the Buzzsaw kick misses. Noble’s tiger bomb gets two as Tajiri gets his foot on the ropes. Cue the blind Nidia for an accidental distraction, allowing Tajiri to grab a rollup (with jeans) to retain.

Rating: C. Can we please let these two have about ten minutes for once? If you add up both of their matches, they don’t even have nine minutes total. They have chemistry but you can’t get much out there in less than five minutes, especially with the ending being angle advancement. That being said, there’s a good chance this is it for Jamie as he’s lost twice in a row now and seems to be moving on to something else. Unfortunately, that something else is likely not going to get him much TV time.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team wants to get their hands on Los Guerreros and put them on the shelf, just like Eddie and Chavo did to them. Haas: “What he said.”

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The brawl is on in a hurry with Chavo dropkicking Shelton down. That’s it for Los Guerreros to start as Shelton goes for Chavo’s knee and takes over early on. Haas comes in and grabs a Boston crab for a few seconds before it’s back to Shelton for more knee work. The Haas of Pain goes on but Eddie is right there to rake his boot over Haas’ eyes for the break. That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie and things speed up in a hurry. Shelton gets monkey flipped into Haas and a rope walk hurricanrana drops Charlie again. Chavo tornado DDTs Benjamin and springboards into a bulldog on Haas, setting up a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Another match that could have been better with more time but I’ll take what I can get. At least what we had was good while it lasted and it’s nice to see Eddie getting a win for a change. It’s pretty clear that there’s something big coming between he and Chavo and I’m all for that, especially if it goes somewhere bigger for Eddie.

Post match Haas and Benjamin clean house and wreck Chavo’s knee, including wrapping a chair around it and putting on the Haas of Pain. Eddie makes the save with another chair but Chavo wants to know what’s going on.

The Cat got a key to Boise, Idaho in a really badly scripted segment. He debuts next week. Back in the arena, Cole dances to Cat’s music.

Chavo is still yelling at Eddie and blames him for everything while getting treatment for his knee. Eddie leaves and Chavo yells at the trainer, saying it’s time to rely on his real friends.

Vince gives Big Show a pep talk.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Non-title because Big Show is holding the title hostage. Cena starts fast with a baseball slide but walks into a hard clothesline to cut him down. That’s enough for Cole to compare Show’s hand to a frying pan because that’s what he does every time Show chops someone. A big clubbing forearm to the back has Cena in early trouble and Show pulls on his face. Cena gets tossed around the ring, leaving him down so Show can stand on his head.

Cena gets in a dropkick and avoids a big boot to crotch Show on top. The Throwback gets two and Cena grabs a chair…..as a decoy so he can kick Show low. Well to be fair he was still a heel like two weeks ago. That doesn’t seem to have much effort so Show hammers on Cena in the corner. The chain to the head rocks Show again but Cena collapses in an FU attempt. They head outside with Show loading up the announcers’ table, only to drive Cena back first into the post instead.

Back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Show to grab the steps. He lifts them above his head in the fashion only done for the sake of having Cena kick his knee out and send him face first into said steps. Another shot with the steps is good for the pin, counted by another referee who was paying enough attention to see that a referee was needed but not enough to see the steps shot that set up the cover.

Rating: C-. This was a little too weapons based for me and, again, another instance of Big Show not really doing anything worthy of being US Champion other than being tall. I mean, I know that’s about all there is to him a lot of the time but that’s WWE for you. Cena is still shaking off the heel mannerisms and that might take some time but the fans want to cheer for him, which WWE is at least acknowledging.

Overall Rating: C+. There was a story going on throughout the show and that’s always better than throwing a bunch of stuff out there and hoping for the best. We’re heading for Cena vs. Vince/whomever he picks to fight for him and Lesnar vs. Benoit (and eventually Holly) so we have to get through the good before we get to the bad. This show was mainly wrestling focused so at least they’re moving in the right direction in certain ways.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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