IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 27, 2018
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’ve got two episodes of Smackdown Live left to go before Wrestlemania XXXIV and that means two episodes featuring Daniel Bryan. It’s not clear what he’s going to be doing in New Orleans but if the Shane McMahon health issues are true, a lot of things could be up in the air. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Before we get started, Happy Birthday Pop (the aforementioned Tony).

We open with a recap of Bryan’s announcement last week. That’s the most emotional moment WWE has had in a long time.

Bobby Roode/Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal/Sunil Singh

And hang on as Singh’s arm is banged up after Roode and Orton attacked him last week. Mahal has a replacement though.

Bobby Roode/Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal/Rusev

Mahal takes Roode into the corner to start as Orton still has his vest on. Roode elbows everyone down but Singh gets on the apron, earning himself a whip into the barricade. The vest comes off and we take a break. Back with Orton working Rusev over in the corner until a kick to the head rocks Orton again. The evil foreigners take turns stomping on Orton and it’s a chinlock from Mahal. Orton suplexes his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Roode for the usual.

Roode’s spinebuster gets two on Mahal as Orton is calmly watching Roode deal with both of them. Mahal takes Roode down again and we take another break. Back with Roode fighting out of a chinlock but eating a jumping knee to the face to keep him down. Rusev’s chinlock has as much success and Roode starts his comeback but Orton tags himself in. The snap powerslam drops Rusev but everything breaks down with Roode hitting Orton by mistake. That earns him an RKO but the Machka Kick ends Orton at 18:26.

Rating: C. This was more long than good, though certainly not terrible. Hopefully this adds Rusev to the title match and gives us a little payoff for all of the RUSEV DAY stuff. It’s not the best thing in the world but at least there’s a logical reason to get us to the next match. That being said, I wish there was another way to get us there other than the champion getting pinned. But hey, that might require thought.

Post break an excited Mahal offers Rusev and Aiden English front row tickets to Wrestlemania. Rusev has another idea though: a spot in the US Title match. Mahal is no longer happy.

Shinsuke Nakamura comes in to see AJ Styles and says he helped him last week to keep AJ strong for Wrestlemania. Nakamura has Shelton Benjamin tonight and wants AJ in his corner. Styles agrees to protect the dream match.

Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott

Becky wastes no time in knocking Riott to the floor but an argument with the Squad allows Ruby to run her over. Back in and Ruby cranks on Becky’s arms but gets taken down by a forearm. Becky scores with the clotheslines until Ruby pulls her off the ropes. The rollup is called off due to feet on the ropes but the Riott Kick is blocked. Ruby is whipped into Logan and a rollup gives Becky the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here but Becky came off like a star, as always. I know Charlotte and Asuka are bigger deals and bigger stars, but they’re crazy if they don’t do something with Becky in the near future. The Squad continues to be the punching bags for the big names in the division, but at least they’re around to keep things moving.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat on the stage. He loves being in Pittsburgh because he’s cleared to be back in the ring. However, tonight he has a job to do as General Manager. Bryan is willing to give Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn one more chance: in a tag match against Shane McMahon and himself at Wrestlemania. Shane should be back in time for Wrestlemania, so we have some stipulations. If Owens and Zayn lose, they stay fired. If they win, they’re back on Smackdown Live.

Bryan talks about opportunities, like the ones he’s given Owens and Zayn. He’s given them those opportunities because the two of them have always been there for him, whether it’s as a partner or if he needed a bed to sleep in. Bryan has a bunch of responsibilities as General Manager like going to meetings, filling out paperwork and wearing these blazers (CM Punk would not approve).

He’s sick of all of them because he fought for three years to get this spot. Owens and Zayn have held him back and now, it’s time for him to fight at Wrestlemania. Bryan goes on a rant about how this isn’t the Bryan on a disabled list or the General Manager. This is the Bryan coming to Wrestlemania to take out Owens and Zayn.

Here’s New Day for a chat before their match. Their path to Wrestlemania was so clear that they had put New Orleans in their GPS. But it turns out that the Road to Wrestlemania was bludgeoned with horribly ugly trash. They’re willing to adopt that highway though and clean up the Road to Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers

Joined in progress with Rowan cranking on Woods’ arm. Woods is thrown around with ease and Kofi gets beaten down as well, albeit this time on the outside. Not that it matters as the Usos come in to jump the Brothers for the DQ at 1:54.

Zayn and Owens have accepted the challenge.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Video on Charlotte vs. Asuka.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

They’re both in the Andre battle royal. Fandango gets on the apron for a dance so Ziggler dropkicks Breeze down. It’s time to run laps so Breeze’s superkick only gets two. They trade rollups for two each but the Zig Zag ends Breeze at 2:10.

At Wrestlemania, the Usos defend against New Day and the Bludgeon Brothers.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

AJ and Chad Gable are the seconds. Nakamura starts with the knee to the ribs and Good Vibrations puts Benjamin on the floor as we take an early break. Back with Shelton holding Nakamura in a chinlock with a grapevine until Nakamura fights up. Kinshasa is loaded up but Gable offers a distraction, allowing Shelton to get two off a northern lights suplex. Paydirt is countered into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. Benjamin powers out but gets kneed down, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C. Shelton isn’t as good as he used to be but he’s still more than good enough to hold his own. Nakamura getting wins like this helps, but couldn’t he be beating some bigger names? Was Baron Corbin off getting new hair grease this week? Or was Ziggler too busy cutting the same promo over and over again? At least act like it’s a bigger deal.

Post match Nakamura says he brought AJ out here to show him how the match is going at Wrestlemania. AJ calls that playing games because Wrestlemania is a dream match for him too. His dream match ends a little differently though, like with AJ walking out as the undisputed best in the world. Nakamura laughs and says he’ll win because AJ is too emotional. Shinsuke leaves so Benjamin and Gable jump AJ with Nakamura making the save. Kinshasa is loaded up again but Nakamura stops in time, reaches to AJ’s heart, and puts it in his chest pocket to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m more excited for Wrestlemania tonight than I was coming in and that’s an accomplishment. They added two matches tonight and put someone else in a third, giving us all but Undertaker vs. Cena confirmed. You know, for those of you who need a fourteen match Wrestlemania. The wrestling was passable here, but the storytelling is what matters most and Bryan being back in the ring is all you could have wanted from this show. Good stuff tonight and the road to Wrestlemania is getting shorter and shorter.

Results

Rusev/Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton/Bobby Roode – Machka Kick to Orton

Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Rollup

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day via DQ when the Usos interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Tyler Breeze – Zig Zag

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Shelton Benjamin – Kinshasa

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 23, 2003
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and that means it’s time to get ready for Survivor Series. Thankfully it also means that Stephanie McMahon is gone after having been beaten by her father in an I Quit match. Since that’s going to get some focus tonight, we’ll move on to Brock Lesnar successfully defending the World Title against the Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

And here’s No Mercy as a bonus.

The opening recap features the narration from Sunday’s opening video and some audio from Vince defeating Stephanie when Linda threw in the towel. We need to keep Stephanie strong for the off screen wedding you see.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Sable to open things up. Vince brags about his win and had a lot of fun stomping Stephanie into the ground. We’re celebrating tonight, maybe even like he celebrated with Sable on Sunday. He didn’t spare the rod with Sable because he used it all night long. On Sunday he did what he wanted by leaving Stephanie unemployed and making sure Brock Lesnar remained WWE Champion.

It was Vince who turned the lights out and sent the FBI out before he had to help things out himself. The new rule: don’t cross the boss but do have sex with the man who signs your checks. I’m assuming he’s talking about Sable there but it’s not clear. That brings us to the position of General Manager and it’s not going to be Sable. Vince: “I have some other job positions in mind for you.” No the new General Manager is….Paul Heyman. Vince is REALLY nice about forgiving past grudges.

Cole and Tazz panic but here’s Undertaker to chase Vince and Sable off. Heyman says he’s the only hope that Undertaker has because Vince is never going to help him. Tonight, Undertaker is going to have a match against Brock Lesnar and Big Show. If he can win that, he gets any match he wants. Undertaker promises to make this blow up in Heyman’s face and get his revenge.

This is certainly a change of pace and odds are this is going to get rid of Vince, or at least lower the amount of time he’ll be spending on TV. There’s no need to have two heel authority figures and Heyman can more than hold his own with the talking. Undertaker vs. Lesnar continuing doesn’t do much for me, but Vince vs. Undertaker does even less. Heyman being the new boss is interesting though and he’s certainly an upgrade over Stephanie.

John Cena/A-Train vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says it’s time to shake Kurt’s hand….but that’s a b**** move. He’s about to snatch his thunder back like a five finger discount and people need to get off of his….well you know. Angle headlocks A-Train down to start but some knees in the corner have Kurt down. Cena comes in with a Michinoku Driver (Where has he been keeping that thing?) for two before it’s back to A-Train for a butterfly suplex.

A big German suplex gets Angle out of trouble and it’s off to Benoit for a German suplex of his own. A-Train has to break up the Sharpshooter on Cena as everything breaks down. An Angle Slam drops A-Train and it’s the ankle lock to Cena. A-Train is up way too fast for the save and the limping Cena grabs the chain. Benoit grabs a chair from A-Train but hits Angle by mistake, triggering a fight. Kurt gets caught in the Crossface and the match is thrown out. Why? It shouldn’t be a DQ and the referee didn’t see the chair shot.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but there’s not much you can do with five minutes and getting in an angle at the same time. Benoit vs. Angle could be good, assuming it leads to someone getting a fresh shot at Lesnar. Brock is needing some new challengers right now and Benoit would be a better choice than Angle at the moment.

We look at Tajiri blinding Nidia last week.

Using a webcam, Jamie Noble is serious about fixing Nidia’s sight. All the money he got from his aunt means nothing if she’s not better. If Nidia doesn’t come out of this ok, Tajiri will be paying. Serious Jamie actually worked, despite the thick accent.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are excited about Paul Heyman being back when Heyman comes in. He calls them liars (oh the irony) for not calling after Brock Lesnar took him out. Therefore, the Basham Brothers are getting the Tag Team Title shot instead of Haas and Benjamin. They can have another match and that is next.

Vince and Sable are in a box and wave to the little people.

Video on Stu Hart. This one is narrated by Cole instead of Vince in a nice bit of continuity if you treat Raw and Smackdown as two completely different things.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Rikishi’s first WWE match since June and Scotty’s first since April 2002. Scotty and Haas get things going with a quick takedown allowing Scotty to celebrate. A hiptoss drops Benjamin and we hit the Moonwalk. Benjamin gets in a shot from behind though and it’s time to take over as we wait on the hot tag to Rikishi.

It’s off to a chinlock for a bit before the jump over Charlie and onto Scotty’s back keeps him in trouble. A clothesline gets Scotty over to the corner for the tag and Rikishi cleans house….until Shelton superkicks him down. Everything breaks down and Scotty brings back the Worm to Shelton. Haas gets a Stinkface and Rikishi sits on Shelton’s chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. Uh, yay! I’m not sure who was wanting to see Rikishi and Scotty back but there are worse ideas out there. I’ll take them over a team like Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak on Raw as Rikishi and Scotty at least have some charisma and have been successful at one point. There are worse ideas so I’ll take what I can get.

Dancing ensues post match.

Vince and Sable join in on the dancing but Undertaker breaks into the sky box. After insulting Sable, Undertaker tells Vince to pray that he wins tonight. Otherwise, Undertaker will be back and there won’t be any talking.

Eddie Guerrero is getting treatment for the injuries from Sunday when Chavo comes in and tells him to suck it up. Chavo: “THIS IS FOR GRANDMA!”

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging. A fired up Eddie hammers on Doug in the corner to start before it’s off to Chavo for more of the same. Eddie comes back in with the slingshot hilo as this is completely one sided so far. It’s off to Danny, who has ever worse luck as Chavo snapmares him into the champions’ corner. Shaniqua grabs a foot though and the Bashams take over for the first time. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit before Danny slaps on a full nelson.

Like a nitwit, Doug charges straight at the two of them and gets backdropped. A wristdrag/headscissors combination takes the Bashams down and the hot tag brings in Chavo. Danny gets planted with a running tornado DDT (looked good) as everything breaks down. It’s back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo while Chavo holds Danny in a backbreaker (that’s a new one). Shaniqua offers a distraction and the Bashams switch, allowing Doug to hit Eddie with a nightstick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This screams long term booking to me and there’s nothing wrong with that. Chavo getting on Eddie before the match suggests that the team is being broken up soon and if that means a big Eddie singles run, I’m rather pleased. The Bashams still need to drop Shaniqua but at least they had a few wins to set this up.

Post match Shaniqua says they’re going to, ahem, celebrate.

During the break, Chavo berated Eddie for the loss and walked away from him.

Tajiri vs. Zach Gowen

Non-title. Gowen is wrestling in a shirt this time around, which doesn’t exactly hide the fact that he’s the size of a middle school kid. Tajiri kicks him hard in the shoulder but gets armdragged down into an armbar. A tornado DDT is countered into a spinebuster and we hit the USA chant to annoy Tajiri. Zach avoids a knee drop (with Tajiri adding a high pitched squeal on the way down) and goes up, only to miss his moonsault. Tajiri kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s Gowen’s last match in WWE and I’m not going to miss him. He’s the definition of a novelty act that ran its course and then stuck around even longer. There’s no hiding the fact that most of his offense is built around fluke rollups and moves that wouldn’t do a great deal of damage. Couple that with the constant “this kid has heart” and “he’ll never give up” lines from Cole and the feel good story lost all of its charm in very short order.

Post match Tajiri’s unnamed associates come in and lay Gowen out again on Tajiri’s orders.

Lesnar tells Big Show to follow his lead tonight. That’s fine with Show, who warns Brock that he’ll be coming for the title soon.

Vince and Sable are still in the box.

Bob Holly is coming back after a year off with a neck injury. He’s coming for Lesnar and wants to break his neck. That works very well aside from the being Hardcore Holly part.

Video on Hawk, who passed away earlier in the week.

Undertaker vs. Big Show/Brock Lesnar

This has way more time than it needs so hopefully there’s something after the match. Show starts for the very large team and drives Undertaker into the corner to start. Undertaker takes a rare powder when they both come in at once and it’s already chair time. Lesnar comes in for the shoulders to the ribs (a far too popular move) as Tazz thinks they might be working on Undertaker’s midsection.

A suplex gives Brock two but as usual, Show screws up, this time by running into a big boot. Undertaker goes vintage with the jumping clothesline to both guys in turn but walks into a chokeslam from Show. It’s Lesnar tagging himself in for a delayed two and ordering Show to go up top. The spike piledriver (that sounds like something you wouldn’t see from the 80s) is broken up and Show gets slammed off the top for the pin. Vince is immediately on his feet and here’s Heyman to say that this is 2/3 falls. Therefore it should be 0-0 as Show wasn’t legal but Heyman never cared about rules.

Back from a break with Heyman in his office chair on the stage and Lesnar eating Snake Eyes into the big boot. Somehow the 7’2 500lb Show manages to sneak around the ring for a clothesline but Undertaker knocks him over the barricade. Some right hands to Lesnar are enough for the countout win….but Heyman says there are no countouts. Show chairs him in the back, there are no DQ’s, and we keep going. This time Undertaker gets smart and grabs the chain to knock the both silly for the pin on Lesnar.

Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t Austin vs. Love but it did the job. Above all else here though, was it really necessary to have Undertaker get two pins on the two singles champions, including the new US Champion? I’m getting rather tired of seeing Undertaker against these two but hopefully some fresh blood is on the way. Heyman screwing Undertaker over is fine for now, but having him lose this early on is more interesting. It’s nice to have a boss who gets taken down a peg or two so soon.

Post match Show lays Undertaker out with a chokeslam and Brock adds an F5 into the post. Vince wants to come see this in person so here he comes after a break. With Undertaker rolling up the ramp, Vince screams about how Undertaker will never be WWE Champion. Vince asks what match Undertaker wants with Lesnar so Undertaker says it’ll be at Survivor Series in a Buried Alive match…..against McMahon. As usual, Vince does the cocky to terrified transition better than anyone. This was a good reveal too as there was no reason to think Undertaker wouldn’t pick Lesnar, but going with McMahon makes sense.

Overall Rating: C-. There was some change in here to make the show better (read as a lack of Stephanie) but they’re continuing the stories that are still around as well. Heyman didn’t really get to do much on his first night but he’s a long overdue change in the power structure. Survivor Series is already starting to take shape, though there’s a lot of work left to be done. They’re off to an acceptable start, but there’s a very long way to go yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 20, 2018
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

And then, Daniel Bryan was cleared to medically return to the ring. I’m really not sure what else there is to say here as now we wait to see what this means for Bryan at Wrestlemania. There’s a good chance that he gets the spot in a tag match with Shane McMahon against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn but maybe it’s something else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Daniel Bryan’s retirement in February 2016 in an emotional moment. Then news broke today that Bryan was cleared to return to the ring after FINALLY being medically cleared. I think we have a theme for tonight.

Here’s Bryan to open things up. He needs to address the actions of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens from last week….but they’re not here yet so we need to talk about something else. Bryan talks about being grateful for everything he has, which was the theme of his retirement speech. He has the greatest fans in the world and an amazing, beautiful wife who stood by him the entire way. It was her who told him to keep going to see specialist after specialist to get him back in the ring. Fans: “THANK YOU BRIE!”

Then when he got depressed, he decided to fight and it was Brie who told him to fight for his dreams. Eventually he was told he was cleared and those dreams became a reality. Next, Bryan needs to thank all of the doctors who kept giving him clearances until the WWE doctors finally did the same. Bryan isn’t sure when he’ll be back in the ring so here’s a WRESTLEMANIA chant to give him an idea. No announcement is made but the fans (including myself) are thrilled.

Bryan is looking for Sami and Owens but finds Ziggler, who is rather condescending about the return. Ziggler can’t wait to beat him and Bryan wishes him luck trying.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

AJ Styles is on commentary. They waste no time in trading the hard kicks with Rusev throwing him into the corner and unloading. A spinwheel kick drops Nakamura for two and we take a break. Back with Nakamura firing off kicks, including one to the side of a kneeling Rusev’s head. Rusev gets in a kick to the head of his own for two so Nakamura goes for a cross armbreaker. That’s rolled through but Nakamura grabs the leg for the rollup pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. It’s nice to have Nakamura get a pin but they haven’t exactly put their foot on the gas to get him to Wrestlemania. That and having him win in less than eight minutes with nearly half of that being in a commercial isn’t your traditional build. At least Nakamura is in the ring though and that helps a lot.

Post match Rusev and Aiden English beat Nakamura down and AJ takes his time getting up. Nakamura saves himself and stares down at AJ.

Video on Asuka.

Charlotte is in the back when Natalya comes in to say she knows how scared Charlotte is. A match is set up for later. I know I mention this a lot but Natalya is one of the weakest talkers in the company today. It’s like a bad high school play.

Styles and Nakamura run into each other with AJ mocking him for saying he’ll win. Nakamura says he’ll win with a knee to the face.

Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger

Both are in the Andre battle royal. Dillinger chops away but gets knocked down with one hard shot. Graves buries Dillinger on commentary, asking about why he wastes every opportunity he receives. Corbin slides under the ropes but gets caught with a kick to the face. Back up and Corbin can’t hit End of Days (as in couldn’t pick Dillinger up for it in a nasty looking botch). Instead he sends Dillinger outside and then tries again a few seconds later, this time connecting for the pin at 2:31.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title. Charlotte gets two off an early suplex and a bridging rollup gets the same. The Figure Four necklock rolling flips keep Natalya in trouble and a kick to the chest puts her on the floor. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting out of an abdominal stretch and throwing her over with a t-bone suplex. A big boot looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya crawls into the corner.

That earns her a Downward Spiral into the buckle, only to have Natalya come back with a Batista Bomb out of the corner for a close two. The Sharpshooter is broken up in a hurry so it’s the discus lariat for two on Charlotte instead. They head outside where the spear connects and Charlotte slaps on the Figure Four back inside.

That’s rolled over though and Charlotte lands in the ropes but bends backwards over the apron to really crank on the leg. It’s fine enough to superplex Charlotte down for a big crash….and here’s Carmella! Charlotte is up with a boot to Carmella though, allowing Natalya to roll her up for the pin at 13:09. The cash-in was never official.

Rating: B. These two were beating the heck out of each other and then that stupid briefcase brought me right back down. I’m so sick of the thing hanging over everything because Heaven forbid we don’t do it every single year. Anyway, Charlotte losing doesn’t make sense here as it’s NATALYA of all people. She’s lost to Charlotte time after time but needs to get a pin here? Really?

Jimmy Uso vs. Harper

Rating: D+. This was the right call again as the Usos continue to get closer but still can’t beat the Brothers. Harper and Rowan look like the most awesome monsters in years, but they need to actually announce the match already. We’re two weeks away and the title match still isn’t set. What are they waiting on anymore?

Here are Jinder Mahal and Sunil Singh to talk about Mahal being added to…..ok I give up. As I type this, Mahal is bragging about being added to the match and OH DEAR GOODNESS I DO NOT CARE! It’s the same horrible promo he’s cut every single week about how rich and awesome he is and how he deserves this and I cannot even pretend to care anymore. Roode and Orton come out, they talk a lot, a brawl nearly breaks out but they all stare at each other.

Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Becky Lynch

All four are in the battle royal. Becky gets double teamed in the corner to start and Logan adds a running knee to the face for two. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit before a spinebuster has Lynch in more trouble. She’s fine enough to throw Logan over the top but Ruby Riott tosses her back inside. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Logan tap at 2:35 as Naomi cuts Morgan off.

Bryan is told that Zayn and Owens are here so he’ll meet them in the ring.

Back from a break and Bryan is in the ring to see Owens and Zayn. Owens talks about taking their time getting here but Shane McMahon wasn’t going to be here so it wasn’t a big deal. Then they heard what happened and got over here as soon as they could. They had to get out of a speeding ticket but it was easy because everyone is dumber in Texas. Sami is happy with the news because Bryan has always been their biggest fan.

It’s a classic case of good things happening to good people and any show with the three of them on it is the dream show. It sounds like a dream team, but that’s not why Bryan wanted them out here. Bryan shows a clip of the two of them attacking Shane to end last week’s show, which they find funny. That’s not cool with Bryan but Sami says Shane deserved it. Bryan thinks they don’t get it.

Shane was right: Bryan was living vicariously through the two of them, but last week was more than getting a little carried away. The thing is Sami and Kevin won because Shane agreed that he had gone too far. They had a match set up for Wrestlemania, which was all they had ever wanted. Imagine the three of them being told that at an armory in front of 300 people ten years ago.

They would have had Bryan in his corner to run the show but they still assaulted Shane. Bryan doesn’t get it but he’s been fired from this company twice and grown from it each time. The two of them are fired and are so shocked that they can’t speak. Owens goes to leave but decks Bryan, followed by some screaming that Bryan did this.

Bryan fights back with kicks in the corner and a snap German suplex to Sami, followed by the running corner dropkicks. Referees come out as Owens takes the YES Kicks but Sami gets back up for the save. Bryan eats a Helluva Kick and the apron powerbomb makes things even worse to end the show.

Well that worked. This gives you a logical path to the tag match (Sami and Kevin have changed from the men Bryan knew years ago and the attack on Shane was unnecessary) and gives Sami and Kevin a ton of heat at the same time. It’s a good angle, but more than that it’s bizarre to see Bryan taking bumps after two years of just talking. Good segment though and I’m excited for the match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did what it needed to do as it advanced a bunch of stories towards Wrestlemania. As mentioned though, there’s a lot of stuff you can pencil in but it’s high time to bust out the ink. Bryan being back is a huge deal, but there’s other stuff that needs to be done and WWE is dragging its feet like crazy right now. I don’t get it, but they need to get on with it already.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Rusev – Rollup

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days

Natalya b. Charlotte – Rollup

Harper b. Jimmy Uso – Discus Lariat

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan – Disarm-Her to Morgan

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 16, 2003
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and….yeah I’m having some issues getting fired up for this one. The battling McMahons are out of control at this point and hopefully it ends on Sunday. Other than that, maybe we can find out what a Biker Chain match is because no one but Undertaker seemed to know last week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Earlier today, Stephanie gave a sitdown interview talking about how sad she was to not be on the show tonight when it could be her last night. Vince is mean you see.

Opening sequence.

Cole: “Tonight! A powerful, emotional interview with STEPHANIE MCMAHON!” Yes that’s really what they’re leading with tonight.

Here’s Kurt Angle to John Cena’s music and in Cena gear. Angle: “Yo yo yo yo kill the beat.” Kurt, speaking as Cena, rhymes about winning the battle rap and various gay jokes. Naturally Cole and Tazz find this HILARIOUS, though Angle doing Cena’s mannerisms actually is funny. The challenge is issued and Angle explains the joke of the rap, including holding the mic in the air so the crowd could finish the joke.

Angle’s music hits….and here’s a mini Angle. Ah ok so it’s comedy time. Again: Cole and Tazz are in stitches over this. Angle calls the mini version half the man that he is and does you can’t see me. Cole: “I love that.” Mini Kurt takes the mic and calls Cena (as in Kurt) a wiener, sending big Angle out to the floor. Back in and Mini Kurt gets an ankle lock so Big Kurt has to tap. This brings out the real Cena but Mini Kurt hits him low, allowing the real one to hit the Angle Slam. Much longer than it needed to be and the jokes weren’t exactly funny. Kurt was of course, but that’s the case almost every time.

Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham

No Shaniqua in sight and suddenly I’m taking the Bashams much more seriously. Doug tries to go technical for some reason and has to bail out of a Crossface attempt. A hard whip into the corner has Doug in more trouble and Benoit sends him outside, only to miss a dive. Back in and Doug stays on the neck with some legdrops and a hard drop onto the buckle. A top rope legdrop misses though and it’s time for the comeback. Danny throws a chair in but Benoit dropkicks it into Doug’s face, only to have Twin Magic cause the Swan Dive to miss. Not that it matters as the Crossface is good for the win.

Rating: C. It really is amazing how much better the Bashams are with no Shaniqua out there. It’s a dumb gimmick for a team that isn’t very good in the first place so how good can they be? Benoit beating them both is fine as it’s not like the team has any value at this point anyway. Just keep Shaniqua away and they can get better.

Post match A-Train comes in to take Benoit out until referees break it up.

Another clip of the Stephanie interview shows her crying over Vince attacking her. Good grief after everything he did to her in 1999 this is tame.

It’s time for the full interview with Cole thanking her for taking the time, because Stephanie is so opposed to being on camera. She talks about Vince wanting to take away her opportunity to thank the Smackdown fans and locker room for their support. Who actually supports Stephanie? Cole: “Is the McMahon Family normal?”

As I try to get the image of Cole dressed like Oprah out of my head, Stephanie says this is the only family she’s known. Stephanie: “I love this business. It’s the business that my father, my grandfather and my great grandfather created.” Cole wants to focus on Stephanie for a second. THEN WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING FOR THE WHOLE INTERVIEW??? After Stephanie says some would consider Vince to be wrestling, it’s time to talk about how awesome Linda is as a mom.

As for Stephanie, yeah she was spoiled as a child but she wasn’t handed her job. There’s definitely some of Vince in her (not as much as he’d probably like) but she wants to be different than him. Stephanie starts crying because she never thought it would come to this. She goes into the story of being clotheslined and slammed, making it sound like the most devastating thing in the world. If the match happens, Vince won’t walk her down the aisle or get to see his grandchildren. After all of this though, she still loves her dad but doesn’t like him. That’s enough for her as she walks out in tears.

This wasn’t so much terrible as much as it was…..stupid. Ignoring all of the history between the two of them, the fact that Stephanie is freaking out and acting like her world has been shattered because someone DARED to lay a finger on her is laughable. She’s destroyed because Vince McMahon, the guy who allowed Undertaker to kidnap her and attempt to marry her in a black wedding ceremony for the sake of getting the WWF Title off of Steve Austin, slammed her?

This is after she talked about getting whatever she wanted as a child because she’s the son of a billionaire. This is the character we’re supposed to sympathize with and support? All because she doesn’t want to quit the job that she was handed (by her father of course) because she’s a big girl and can handle herself after being on the job for all of sixteen months?

The acting was laughably bad too but above all else, it was how over the top serious Stephanie treated this. I get that it’s a dramatic story but given the history between the two, a slam and a clothesline aren’t exactly worth getting upset about. Just a dumb segment here that you can’t take seriously if you’re above about eight years old.

Back in the arena, Tazz takes his glasses off as he and Cole talk about this in the most serious terms.

Jamie Noble and Nidia are talking Vince and Stephanie with Nidia taking her side. Jamie agrees because this place would be better without Vince. Tajiri overhears and runs off to tell Vince. As a result, Jamie has to face Tajiri tonight. So now, not only is Vince vs. Stephanie dominating the show, but a champion is being put in a match over whose side he’s on in the feud.

Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Non-title. Jamie starts in on the arm as Tazz wonders why he’s not going after the leg to weaken the kicks. Well no one ever accused Jamie of being smart. That’s enough analysis so let’s talk about what kind of a mood Stephanie must be in. Tajiri starts in on the leg but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down. A powerslam gets two on Tajiri with Cole thinking Jamie wants to stick it to Vince. Tajiri’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana over the top so Tajiri goes after the title. Nidia pulls it away, only to have the black mist go into her eyes. She freaks out so badly that the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. And this is why the cruiserweights mean as little as they do. Tajiri is the Cruiserweight Champion and coming up on a major title defense but instead of talking about that, it’s about whether or not Jamie Noble wants to show up Vince. Not only does that not make sense, but it’s the best they can do with the Cruiserweight Champion. All for the sake of pushing Stephanie vs. Vince. Nice job guys.

Nidia gets her eyes cleaned out so Jamie calls Tajiri back to the ring for a fight. There’s no Tajiri so Jamie goes up the ramp….and gets mauled by Brock Lesnar. That’s your treatment for acting serious for a change. Jamie gets laid out with an F5 on the floor and Brock sneers at him.

If that’s not enough, here are Vince and Sable to congratulate Brock on his handiwork. Vince calls what Stephanie did earlier a performance but it’s true that she hates him. Stephanie stopped loving him a long time ago but Vince understands the meaning of true love. He loves Stephanie so much that he’ll hurt her on Sunday. At No Mercy, he won’t be sparing the rod with his daughter.

As for the fans, they want to be like Vince but aren’t willing to work for it. They would rather win the lottery while Vince reached down and took what was his. Stephanie has the same chance of winning as people here do of winning the lottery. He’s been asked what he’ll do to Stephanie and the thought scared him. May God have mercy on Stephanie’s soul because Vince certainly won’t.

Sable is proud to be in Vince’s corner and proud to stand by him. Linda has forgotten what it takes to satisfy a genuine American icon and OH MY GOODNESS GET ON WITH IT ALREADY! She brags about being able to satisfy every sexual craving Vince has before kissing him to wrap things up.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen a story this insufferable. We’re over an hour into this show and well over half of that time has been spent on this one story. I’m sure Vince and Stephanie think this is the greatest thing ever but I don’t think I want to know who else finds this nonsense interesting. Now please, talk about ANYTHING else for the rest of the show.

Video on a European tour.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno

Non-title, which Cole emphasizes at least twice, along with saying what a big chance it is for Rhyno. A test of strength has Eddie in early trouble and his comeback is cut off by a clothesline. There’s a good looking spinebuster (Rhyno was always good at those) for two and a gorilla press gutbuster for the same as Rhyno stays on the ribs. For some reason Rhyno goes for one of the titles and gets caught with a dropkick for his efforts. The rolling vertical suplexes put Rhyno down but the frog splash hits knees. Tazz: “Rhyno hitting possum! How can a rhino be a possum?”

Back from a break with Eddie caught in a Sharpshooter for a long time until he fights up and grabs the leg for the escape. It’s time for the comeback with Eddie hitting a jumping leg lariat and a slingshot hilo but the bad back slows him down. That’s how you keep a story going through a match and Eddie is as good as anyone at selling the thing.

Rhyno catches him on top and hits a superplex but Eddie is right back up with a super hurricanrana for two of his own. A toss sends Eddie outside though and he unhooks his boot. Instead of an injury though, Eddie steals the ring bell hammer and loads it into his boot. Back in and a quick ref bump allows Eddie to throw Rhyno the hammer. That and a boot shot to the head are enough for the pin.

Rating: B. The rib work was good (setting up the Gore throughout the match) and as usual, Eddie was in a pure showcase here with more brilliance. He’s the best thing in WWE right now and it’s turned into a treat to watch him. This was a lot of fun and just a great example of how to turn something that shouldn’t have mattered into a good match.

Post match here’s Big Show with a pipe to destroy both Eddie and the low rider. Eddie’s back is cut up by the glass and a powerbomb onto the hood makes it a lot worse. Show isn’t done and chokeslams him onto the top of the truck. Good segment, but they lost me with the burritos and sewage.

Rey Mysterio vs. Johnny Stamboli

Just be glad that Rey isn’t a Vince fan to balance things out. Palumbo and Nunzio are sent to the back so Rey can headscissor Stamboli down in peace. A backbreaker cuts Rey off and we’re in a chinlock less than a minute in. Rey gets tied in the Tree of Woe but s still able to pull himself up to avoid a charge into the post. Another backbreaker cuts Rey down as Stamboli is still looking for the offense to go with looking like a shrunken A-Train. Stamboli hits a third backbreaker (come on already) but his gorilla press is countered into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D. Was Stamboli the last person in catering? They couldn’t trot Shannon Moore out there for this match instead? Rey and the Cruiserweight Title are being sent to the back burner here and it’s getting sad at this point. Mysterio deserves better than this but for some reason Ultimate Dragon is sitting on the sidelines. Such is life in WWE.

Matt Hardy gives Shannon Moore a framed picture when Jon Heidenreich comes in. He asks Matt to give his highlight tape to Stephanie, but Matt says she won’t be GM much longer. Matt promises to take care of it and throws the tape away after Heidenreich leaves.

PPV rundown. It’s not bad until you get to the real main event.

Undertaker is in the back and explains the Biker Chain match: it’s a chain on a pole match, which is the oldest form of combat known to man. He’s more ready to be champion than ever before….and now let’s talk about Stephanie! Undertaker hopes otherwise but thinks it’s going to be a long night for our lovely boss. Cue Lesnar with some chain shots before wrapping it around Undertaker’s neck and dragging him away.

Back with Lesnar dragging him to the ring and Undertaker getting in some right hands. That earns him a whip into the steps and more choking from Brock. Undertaker gets choked over the corner but manages to kick Lesnar in the face. They get in and an F5 is countered with Undertaker choking a swell. Brock hits him low but gets caught in a very high chokeslam. The threat of another chain show sends Lesnar bailing to end the show. The match’s gimmick is a mess but this was at least a nice brawl to set it up.

Overall Rating: D. They did a nice job of setting up No Mercy but there’s no way around all the McMahon stuff. It’s weighing everything down and making the show almost unwatchable. Stephanie is suddenly a horribly abused woman who is just fighting the good fight and standing on her own two feet. It’s not good, it’s not well written, it’s not well acted and it’s not worth watching.

The rest of the show was actually pretty good from a storytelling perspective, though the wrestling was hit and miss. I do kind of want to see the pay per view but I want to get through that Vince vs. Stephanie match as fast as I can. The problem is that story dominates the show and until it’s over, there’s no way to make this show good.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 13, 2018
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s finally time to start the Road to Wrestlemania with the first of four Smackdowns left to go. Tonight’s show is supposed to feature a Shane McMahon announcement about the pay per view, but given the way this company can’t seem to remember to deliver what they advertise, it could be something else entirely. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here’s AJ Styles to talk about retaining the Smackdown World Title Sunday night. He was in trouble after John Cena put him through the announcers’ table on Sunday. How could he beat the other five superstars when anything goes? It was unbelievable, but not impossible. He found a way and is still WWE Champion. A few years ago, the idea of AJ Styles coming to WWE was unbelievable, just like him being WWE Champion or going to Wrestlemania. Unbelievable, but not impossible.

The fans give him the YOU DESERVE IT chant but AJ says he earned it. Now he’s got the biggest challenge of his title reign at Wrestlemania. AJ may be the everyman outside the ring, but when he steps inside the ring, he is phenomenal. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura to say everyone loves him too. He respects AJ but dreams come true at Wrestlemania. His dream: a knee to AJ’s face and becoming champion. This brings out Rusev of all people and we take a break.

Rusev vs. AJ Styles

Non-title. Rusev throws him into the corner to start so AJ goes after the leg, which Nakamura banged up on Sunday. A right hand rocks Styles though as the power game is working well for Rusev so far. AJ is right back with a dropkick to the floor and the slingshot forearm puts Rusev in trouble. Rusev throws him down again and we take a break.

Back with AJ pulling Rusev off the ropes to send him face first into the turnbuckle. The strikes have Rusev in trouble but AJ can’t hit the fireman’s carry backbreaker. Instead it’s the Machka Kick for two but AJ scores with the Pele. Now the backbreaker works but AJ bangs up his own knee. Rusev can’t get the Accolade so it’s the Calf Crusher instead, drawing Aiden English in for the DQ at 11:18.

Rating: C+. Now that’s a good way to set up the title match: Nakamura could pin Rusev but Styles can only beat him via DQ, even when Rusev was banged up in the match on Sunday. Let them build up the idea that Styles is phenomenal but Nakamura might be a step better. That’s a great way to go, assuming this wasn’t an accident.

Nakamura takes his time but makes the save.

We see the Bludgeon Brothers attacking the Usos and the New Day.

Big E. wishes he could say the New Day won the titles and were spending tonight filling Corey Graves’ car with pancakes. That’s not the case though, because his friends are both injured. Jimmy Uso comes in and says they’re taking care of the Bludgeon Brothers tonight.

Kid Rock Hall of Fame video.

Styles tells Nakamura that he didn’t need the help. Nakamura disagrees and will be there to help Styles until Wrestlemania.

Jimmy Uso/Big E. vs. Bludgeon Brothers

The makeshift team jumps the Brothers in the aisle and grab a pair of chairs. The Brothers grab the hammers to knock the chairs away and we take a break before the bell. Back from a break with the opening bell and Harper plants Big E. with a Boss Man Slam. Big E. slips over and makes the hot tag to Jimmy so things can speed up. Harper gets rocked with uppercuts and superkicks but Jimmy goes after Rowan. The distraction is enough for Harper to kick Jimmy in the face and a double powerbomb ends Jimmy at 2:34. This was exactly what it needed to be.

The Brothers keep up the destruction after the match.

We look at Shane McMahon costing Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens the title at Fastlane.

Sami says he’s known Owens for years but then he played him like a fiddle on Sunday. It was only because of Shane that he didn’t become champion and Sami will never pay the price again.

Here’s Charlotte to call out Asuka for a face to face meeting. Charlotte welcomes her to Smackdown and thinks she (as in Charlotte) should have been careful what she wished for. She’s been defending the title around the world and no, she’s never faced anyone like Asuka. The thing is though, Asuka has never faced anyone like Charlotte. WOO! Asuka says she picked Charlotte because she likes a challenge. Charlotte is a queen but Asuka is an empress. She bows to no one because no one is ready for Asuka. And….that’s it. Kind of an abrupt finish but this was good stuff to help set up the big match.

New US Champion Randy Orton comes out for a chat. He’s been called a lot of things, but for the first time ever he’s the United States Champion. Orton praises Bobby Roode as a tough competitor but he’s taking this title to Wrestlemania. This brings out Roode to say he’ll be having his rematch at Wrestlemania. Cue Jinder Mahal to also congratulate Orton on his title win. He’ll beat Roode just like he did to Orton last week.

Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal

The very early threat of a Glorious DDT sends Mahal outside and we take an early break. Back with Roode slugging away and hitting a running forearm. A neckbreaker puts Mahal down and a top rope clothesline does it again. Roode gets two off the Blockbuster but walks into a superkick for the same. Sunil Singh offers a distraction and Roode gets crotched, setting up the Khallas to pin Roode at 6:26.

Rating: D+. Well duh. Everyone knew that Mahal would get involved with this shindig and there was nothing we could do to stop it. Now that Mahal is no longer World Champion, it’s fair to say how much he manages to suck the life out of everything he touches. This is no exception and it’s getting even worse every single week.

Post match Orton gives Mahal the RKO.

Owens rants about how he was screwed over on Sunday because Sami knows he can’t beat him otherwise.

Fabulous Moolah battle royal video. They’re going to have some real issues defending Moolah in the coming weeks.

Carmella vs. Naomi

Before the match, Carmella enters the battle royal and teases cashing in the briefcase at Wrestlemania. Naomi throws her into the corner to start but gets taken down so Carmella can stand on the hair. The hair is pulled around the ropes so Naomi comes up slapping hard. A kick to the face sends Carmella down but she breaks up some kind of a springboard. Carmella pulls her down by the hair and grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:54. This wasn’t very good but at least Carmella gets some momentum.

Here’s Shane for his big announcement. He recaps the entire story between himself, Owens and Zayn before saying that he’s taking a leave of absence as Commissioner. Before he goes though, Shane makes Owens vs. Zayn for Wrestlemania. This brings out Owens with his head shaking. Before he can say much though, here’s Sami to interrupt. Sami doesn’t like Shane listening to the fans but doesn’t seem pleased that Shane is leaving.

Shane doesn’t understand this as he just gave them what they wanted. Owens does appreciate it, but thinks Shane will appreciate this too. The double beatdown is on and Owens hits a Pop Up Powerbomb and it’s time for a chair. They wrap it around Shane’s neck and ram it into the post before dragging him to the back. Shane gets powerbombed onto a big metal box and sounds like he can barely breathe. A stretcher is brought in to end the show. I’m sure Shane will be perfectly fine enough for Bryan to add him to the match and make it a triple threat.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show that did what it needed to do. The promos here were very good and the matches were little more than filler. You don’t need to have big, long matches to set up stuff this close to Wrestlemania so just base everything on the talking. AJ vs. Nakamura is finally getting some focus and the other stories are getting good too. It’s pretty clear that Bryan is going to add Shane to make it a triple threat but at least Shane might be out long enough to not take up a bunch of TV time. Do more of this kind of show over the next three weeks and they could still manage to build things up quite well.

Results

AJ Styles b. Rusev via DQ when Aiden English interfered

Bludgeon Brothers b. Jimmy Uso/Big E. – Double powerbomb to Uso

Jinder Mahal b. Bobby Roode – Khallas

Carmella b. Naomi – Rollup

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 9, 2003
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With less than two weeks to No Mercy, the question becomes how can we find more time to talk about Vince and Stephanie. That story dominated last week’s show and has done so for months now. At least we’re heading towards their pay per view blowoff and that means we might be free soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Vince/Stephanie segment with Vince demanding that she quit (again) and Stephanie saying no (again) and getting in a fight with Sable (again).

Opening sequence.

Here’s Linda McMahon with the always awesome old school Wrestlemania theme music. She knows people are used to the McMahon Family drama but then Shane wrecked a limo with Kane inside. The week before that, Vince slammed Stephanie in the middle of this ring. Now there’s an I Quit match at No Mercy so maybe she can talk some sense into Stephanie. You know you can’t let Stephanie have that much attention without her being here in person so here she is.

She’s not going to back down and let Vince win….so here’s Vince because of course we need all of them out here. Vince talks about giving Stephanie a chance to get out of this match last week but now he wouldn’t let her out of it if she got on her knees and begged her. She’s made him brutalize her but he’ll do it with a clear conscience. His soul will be cleansed because he’s being forced to do it, just like Linda forced him to sire a second child. Linda says this match isn’t fair and asks what Vince is putting up. After a little goading, Vince puts up his Chairman spot to even things up.

We’re still not done though as Sable comes out with Vince calling her voluptuous. He introduces her to Linda and Sable rubs his chest while announcing she’ll be in Vince’s corner at No Mercy. Linda isn’t surprised because Sable will offer her services to anyone. Sable slaps Linda so Stephanie jumps her, only to get clotheslined by Vince. That’s your fifteen minute opening, because last year’s great wrestling show needed to be turned into the McMahon Variety Show.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Tajiri

Non-title and Rey Mysterio, announced as the #1 contender for No Mercy, is on commentary. Tajiri grabs a wristlock to start but the handspring elbow is broken up with a kick to the back. The Asai moonsault mostly misses and they head back inside. Dragon grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Tajiri hits a Michinoku Driver for two of his own. The Tarantula is broken up and Rey talks about using these same counters. Makes sense. Not that it matters as the Buzzsaw kick ends Dragon in short order.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with this one as Tajiri gets some momentum heading into the title match. I liked Rey actually talking about what he could get out of doing commentary as most of the time it’s just a way to advance a story. You can do that after the match while also making it seem like there’s a reason to be out there in the first place. I’m still not sure what happened to Dragon though, as he came in and never even got warmed up before being turned into this.

Post match Tajiri kicks Dragon again, drawing Rey in for a 619.

Stephanie has big news: LINDA will be in her corner at No Mercy! That’s so lame I can’t even bother to make fun of it.

Undertaker comes out for a match but first he promises to break Lesnar at No Mercy. Vince is about to send the FBI out here to soften him up but he hasn’t come alone. Undertaker wants us to meet his best friend and pulls out a chain.

Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo

Yes the FBI still exists. Undertaker wastes no time in throwing Chuck around and hits an early Old School. Nunzio offers a distraction so Chuck can get in a few shots, only to miss a charge into the post. Another distraction lets Palumbo try a superkick, which is countered into the chokeslam for a fast pin.

Post match Lesnar comes in but Undertaker cleans house with the chain.

Paul London interrupts Vince and Sable and can’t get a handshake from the boss. He can however get a title match with Lesnar tonight. Didn’t we do this with Spanky earlier this year?

Big Show shoves a burrito into the face of some guy at catering.

Zach Gowen is back. Egads good for him.

Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

Rematch from last week when Show’s burritos gave him some issues. The announcers discuss Show’s body fat as he throws Jordan around with ease. A dropkick to the back annoys Show so much that he clotheslines Jordan’s head off. Show boots him in the face and finishes with a chokeslam in short order.

In the back, Eddie says of course he’s nervous about Big Show chasing after him. The thing is, he has some cousins around here and if Show does get some revenge, it’s going to be a very stinky situation. Eddie compares this to Jack and the Beanstalk but Big Show jumps him and kicks the heck out of Eddie’s ribs.

We look at John Cena using a chain to beat Kurt Angle last week.

Tazz is emceeing a battle rap between Angle and Cena. It’s Cena out first to say Angle has less street cred than Michael Cole. Now those are fighting words. Cole: “I’ve got some street cred!” After Angle comes out, Cena goes first and raps his usual string of insults: Angle couldn’t win a bronze in the Special Olympics, he has no testicles, and….something that Angle cuts him off which sounded like foul language.

Angle praises the rapping skills and tells a story in rhyme, talking about how Cena thinks he’s black, threatening Cena if he uses the chain again (or a-gain as the story goes) and promising to make Cena tap. That’s enough for the fight to be on until Cena hits him with the mic. Cena gets in a few kicks tot he ribs but Angle rolls some German suplexes. The thread of an ankle lock sends Cena bailing. Fine segment, though it was no “I’m just a sexy Kurt, I’ll make your ankle hurt!”

Video on Zach Gowen.

Zach Gowen vs. Shannon Moore

Matt Hardy, who is not afraid to eat alone in public and likes portabella mushrooms, is on commentary. Moore puts him on top and gets kicked in the face, followed by another kick for two. Matt: “I may be going out on a limb here, one limb in particular, but Zach Gowen doesn’t impress me as a wrestler.” A suplex into the corner takes Gowen down and it’s off to a chinlock.

Back up and a springboard kick to the face drops Moore, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Hardy offers a distraction and Moore gets two off a rollup. Gowen grabs a DDT but Matt shoves Gowen off the top (the referee seems fine with the idea that Gowen just dove down onto his back for no apparent reason), setting up Shannon’s running flip neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. And that’s a Zach Gowen match: he does fairly impressive moves and the announcers talk about how amazing it is. It still has the exact same problem as always though: if you’ve seen it once, there’s not much appeal to seeing it again. Now that I’ve seen it for several months now, I’m really over it as the action is nothing above an independent level and the commentary beating the idea into my head gets really old.

Undertaker leaves Stephanie’s office and laughs.

No Mercy rundown. The card isn’t too bad but that double main event is death.

We recap the opening segment and Linda sneering still isn’t intimidating.

Chris Benoit/APA vs. Basham Brothers/A-Train

Hang on a second as the Bashams chair the APA down, leaving Faarooq down in the aisle and making this a handicap match. This must be the start of transitioning Faarooq out as it’s the second time in a few weeks where Bradshaw has wrestled and Faarooq hasn’t for one reason or another.

The double teaming is on with Bradshaw getting taken apart, including a Vader Bomb from A-Train as Faarooq is taken out. Danny grabs a chinlock but A-Train misses another splash, allowing the hot tag to Benoit. A-Train takes a German suplex and the Sharpshooter makes Danny tap but he’s not legal. The referee says no and it’s A-Train hitting the Derailer for the pin.

Rating: D+. I know I’ve said this a lot tonight but that’s another match where it went as you would expect. A-Train pinning Benoit when he had an advantage was fine, but it’s still setting up A-Train vs. Benoit on pay per view. This also seems to be setting up Bradshaw’s singles run and….egads.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Paul London

Paul, who is challenging, doesn’t even get an entrance. Brock actually says he respects London for coming out here but gets cut off by the YOU TAPPED OUT chants. He offers London a chance to look at the title, which he might get to hold himself one day. London does touch is and gets a hard clothesline as the beating begins in a hurry. Powerslams and a powerbomb set up the F5 to destroy London in less than ninety seconds. In case you didn’t get the idea when he did this to Gowen and Spanky earlier this year.

Post match Brock loads up the F5 into the post but Spanky runs out for the failed save attempt. Lesnar throws him back first into the post for a great looking bump. Cue Undertaker to say Stephanie has made their match at No Mercy a biker chain match. That’s all we hear and the announcers are left wondering what the heck that is. Good thing Undertaker decided he liked chains earlier in the night.

We look back at Big Show attacking Eddie earlier.

Chavo Guerrero leaves the trainer’s room and says Eddie is pretty banged up. He’s going to call Big Show out.

Post break Chavo is in the ring calling Show out. Here’s Show in a suit to say he’s hitting the town. Oh dear I’m scared of where this is going. Chavo says he’s chicken and that’s actually enough to get a match started. Who knew Big Show was a Marty McFly fan?

Big Show vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo rolls outside and it’s a countout at about forty five seconds.

Chavo isn’t done as he waves a sewage truck out with Eddie riding on the back. For some reason, Big Show stands in the ring which Eddie talks about his cousin bringing this truck to the arena. Eddie talks about the hose on the truck that you put in the ground to pull out all the….well you know. He’s going to spray it on Show, who FINALLY gets out of the ring and runs away, only to trip over a cord. Eddie sprays him down a few times and Big Show falls down multiple times to end the show. Counting the stuff before the break, this was the last fifteen minutes of the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh man that was awful. The show started with a fifteen minute McMahon summit and then ended with a fifteen minute segment built around spraying Big Show with human waste. In between, there was something about Undertaker discovering a love of chains, a battle rap, and some short squashes. That’s how they’re going to make us want to see a pay per view featuring the battling McMahons and something called a biker chain match. This was a total misfire and one of the worst Smackdowns I can ever remember.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 6, 2018
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the go home show for Fastlane and that means we can finally move towards Wrestlemania. However, we still have quite a big of stuff to get through first and that means a lot of work tonight. There’s a good chance John Cena will be in town but the rest of the matches need some attention too. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Charlotte and Ruby Riott are brought out for an opening chat. Ruby cuts Dasha Fuentes off and says this started on November 14, 2017 when Charlotte won the Smackdown Women’s Title. Charlotte is the perfect person to be the top star of the women’s division but then Ruby saw the myth fall apart. It was a week later that Ruby started the Riott Squad with the sole purpose of destroying Charlotte’s myth.

Charlotte talks about how just being good isn’t enough because she has to transcend everything. That’s what she’s done and now she’s become the best ever. Ruby says that’s all on the line Sunday and when Charlotte loses, she’ll be just another bleach blonde with a famous last name. The Squad gets in the ring but here’s Bobby Roode to scare them off and to do commentary on the next match. Good promo here, but it should have been for a Wrestlemania match instead of a Fastlane match.

Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal

Roode is on commentary. Mahal’s bio talks about his hometown and the languages he speaks. Even WWE wants you to forget he was World Champion. Orton elbows him in the face to start but it’s too early for the RKO. Instead Mahal bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Mahal hitting a jumping knee to the face and grabbing a chinlock.

Orton fights up and hits the powerslam but Mahal bails to the floor to avoid the hanging DDT. Randy drops the remaining Singh Brother onto the announcers’ table for old times’ sake before throwing Mahal into Roode. Back in and Orton loads up the RKO, only to have Roode get on the apron. Another knee sends Orton into Roode and the Khallas gives Jinder the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Egads I’m having flashbacks to last year. I’m sure this is going to set up a US Title shot for Mahal either on Sunday or down the line and it’s really not much better than the World Title push. Mahal continues to be the least interesting in-ring performer with a push that I’ve seen in a very long time. There’s just nothing there and it’s not getting any better.

Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are in the back with Kevin mentioning Sami offering to lay down for him. Sami sticks with what he said and says Owens is just a single win away from going to Wrestlemania. Owens hugs him and smiles.

Baron Corbin is ready to make John Cena’s Wrestlemania (and yes the sign pops up on the screen when he says it) dream a nightmare.

Video on the Usos vs. New Day feud.

Shinsuke Nakamura is ready to go to Wrestlemania when Rusev Day comes in. Rusev is upset that Nakamura has damaged Aiden English and challenges him to a match at Fastlane to make up for it. Nakamura accepts and promises that Sunday will be Nakamura Day. Rusev: “You can’t just make up your own holiday.” I’ll take what I can get.

Last week, Becky Lynch said she could make Carmella tap out.

Becky Lynch vs. Carmella

Carmella sends her into the corner to start and rubs Becky’s face into the mat. An upside down triangle choke keeps Becky in trouble and Carmella shouts about being Ms. Money in the Bank. Becky is sent into the barricade and a knee to the face gets two. A chinlock doesn’t last very long as Becky fights up and grabs the Bexploder. The Disarm-Her makes Carmella tap at 5:17.

Rating: C-. Your likely future Women’s Champion ladies and gentlemen. That’s how Money in the Bank works: lose all the time (or at least when you get on TV) and then win the title because HAHA CONTRACTS AND SUCH! Carmella is getting better but I’d really rather have her lose the cash-in. It’s just not there yet, especially when the big names are around on Smackdown.

Naomi is glad for Becky to win when Natalya comes in for one of those completely unnatural exchanges where no one talks like this. Another match is set for Sunday with Natalya/Carmella vs. Naomi/Becky.

Saudi Arabia Rumble announcement.

Fastlane rundown.

Here’s AJ Styles for a chat before his match. He’s the WWE Champion but on Sunday he doesn’t have to get pinned to lose his title. It’s no surprise that the odds are stacked against him again but he’s not going to say it’s not fair. Styles lost to John Cena last week so here’s a clip from last night with Cena saying the seventeenth title is coming on Sunday. Back in the arena, AJ says he doesn’t want a rematch at Wrestlemania and that’s not what the fans want either. AJ wants to face the best at Wrestlemania and that means Shinsuke Nakamura.

Cue Dolph Ziggler, who faces AJ tonight, to say AJ used to be cool. It took AJ ten years to get to the house that Ziggler built. Ziggler says AJ is losing on Sunday because he doesn’t have his head on straight. AJ is doing this for the people and they’ll stab him in the back. Over the years, Ziggler has faced one road block after another but he’s overcome all of them (oh come on) and eventually because World Heavyweight Champion. Somehow he’s never had a singles match at Wrestlemania so AJ can shove his Wrestlemania dream match. Ziggler is already a heel again. That’s some Big Show turning speed.

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Ziggler bails from a Clash attempt in the first five seconds and they start all over again. AJ actually wins an amateur exchange but gets caught with a dropkick to the face. The chinlock slows AJ down for a bit, only to have him come right back up with a dropkick of his own. A slingshot forearm to the floor drops Ziggler again and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control and backdropping AJ for two.

AJ’s basement forearm gets two but Ziggler is right back with a Fameasser for the same. They head to the apron with AJ being sent hard into the post as we take another break. Back again with Ziggler pulling AJ off the top but not being able to hit his own Styles Clash. Instead AJ tries a superkick but gets countered into a not great Zig Zag for another near fall. Cue Sami and Kevin for the no contest at 16:38.

Rating: B-. Ziggler’s promo issues aside, this wasn’t too bad, especially with the right ending. They need to keep Ziggler strong and having AJ lose twice in a row was unacceptable. If nothing else though, I’m not sure why Sami and Kevin wouldn’t want these two to beat each other up even more. Good match with time at least though and that helps.

Post match here’s Shane McMahon to make a match, but since it wouldn’t be fair to have a regular match, let’s make it a five way with everyone in the ring plus this man.

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

Non-title again. So it’s the pay per view match we were set to have until a week ago. Joined in progress with Sami sending AJ into the barricade until Baron starts beating everyone up. Corbin gets sent outside and Owens backsplashes Ziggler for two while Sami stands by and watches.

Owens and Sami clear the ring and hug until Owens has to go kick Corbin in the face. AJ comes back in and drops Owens before enziguring Sami down to take us to a break. Back with Sami getting the worst of a Tower of Doom until Corbin gets up for the running clotheslines. Sami gives Ziggler the Blue Thunder Bomb for two with AJ making the save.

Kevin’s Cannonball crushes Ziggler and the Vader Bomb elbow gets two more on Dolph. A superkick drops Sami for two with AJ making the save, only to get punched out of the air by Corbin. Ziggler takes a chokebreaker and Owens charges into Deep Six for two with AJ making another save. The moonsault into the reverse DDT drops Zayn but AJ and Ziggler are sent outside. Sami hits a quick Helluva Kick to put Owens away at 15:03.

Rating: C+. There’s an episode of the Flintstones where Barney and Fred stumble onto a TV set. The director doesn’t have enough good guys to fight the bad guys. He says what difference does the story make as long as there’s a fight. That’s what this kind of match makes me think of: completely random action with maybe a tiny bit of storytelling thrown in. This might benefit Sami a bit but having a five way match to set up a six way seems rather questionable.

Post match Sami is asked why and says that’s a vague question. Sami says he’s the best WWE has to offer and is the most underlooked (Is that a word?) performer on the roster. Tonight was about proving that he’s the best and….we’re cut off in what seemed like mid-promo to end the show. I guess they underlooked the rest of it.

Overall Rating: C. The last half hour gave the show a push in the direction they wanted to go but that’s not exactly interesting stuff. All I want to do right now is get Fastlane out of the way so we can move on to Wrestlemania. This show worked as a go home show for Fastlane but Fastlane is much more of a nuisance than something I want to see. Get us on to Wrestlemania already as we’re going to have four weeks to set up the biggest show of the year. But at least get the March pay per view out of the way.

Results

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton – Khallas

Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn interfered

Sami Zayn b. AJ Styles, Baron Corbin, Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler – Helluva Kick to Owens

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcagewrestling.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 2, 2003
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Somehow we’re less than three weeks away from No Mercy but as luck would have it we already have a double main event. In this case it’s Vince McMahon vs. his daughter Stephanie in an I Quit match and Brock Lesnar defending the Smackdown World Title against Undertaker. This isn’t exactly the most thrilling stuff in the world but guess which one is going to get the most attention. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still including Sean O’Haire. I don’t remember the last time he was even on this show.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who has had four speeding tickets but gotten out of over twenty of them, is challenging. Eddie is ticked off at Matt for injuring his ribs last week so the stomping is on in a hurry. A shoulder puts Matt down but bangs up Eddie’s ribs all over again. Eddie gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and Matt starts in like a villain should.

Matt plants him with a powerbomb for two and the Side Effect gets the same. A bow and arrow hold is countered into a neckbreaker and Eddie gets a breather. Three Amigos connect as Tazz is talking about Mexican hockey teams. Matt is ready for the frog splash though and brings Eddie down with a superplex.

A neckbreaker cuts Eddie down again but Matt would rather distract Chavo, allowing Shannon to come in with a title. This is what happens when you let lackeys run wild. Naturally Eddie takes it away and throws the title to Matt while feigning innocence. The referee gets rid of that belt but Chavo hits Matt with the other one because cheating is a family business. The frog splash retains the title.

Rating: C+. The endings might be a bit unoriginal but you try turning down that grin. Eddie had so much charisma that it’s almost impossible to not like him at least on some level and that’s what worked so well here. I could watch Eddie do this stuff for hours and the wrestling working so well helped too. Eddie has been the best thing about the last several shows and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Video on Wrestlemania tickets going on sale.

John Cena got annoyed at Josh Matthews for talking about “dope rhymes”. Tonight, Cena puts Angle in his shadow.

Eddie and Chavo run into Big Show and ask him about him attacking Eddie last week. Show doesn’t like “Eddie’s kind”, but he does like Mexican food. He shoves Eddie down and Chavo isn’t happy with the lack of Latino heat. Eddie is going to take care of this Guerrero style.

APA vs. Basham Brothers

It’s a brawl to start and of course the APA gets the better of it, easily clearing out the ring. Faarooq beats both of them up on his own before it’s off to Bradshaw for chops and a Last Call on Doug. Shaniqua offers a distraction though and Danny posts Bradshaw to take over. As usual, Shaniqua comes off like the star of the team, completely defeating the purpose of her being out there. Bradshaw suplexes his way out of a chinlock and it’s back to Faarooq for the house cleaning. The referee gets bumped (In this match?) so Shaniqua kicks Bradshaw in the face, leaving Faarooq to take the Ball and Gag for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, I’d like to point out that I’m supposed to be interested in a team whose finishing move is called the Ball and Gag. There are times where a gimmick is going to kill yo before you can do anything else and that’s what’s happened with the Bashams. I have no idea why they spent so much time down in developmental to be given this treatment on the main roster, but it shows the disconnect between the two places.

Post match, Bradshaw hits Shaniqua with the Clothesline. Again: she’s treated like a more important deal than the team she’s managing.

Chris Benoit vs. Charlie Haas

A-Train is on commentary. As you might expect, it’s a grappling exchange to start with neither being able to get much of an advantage on the mat. Charlie’s hammerlock is reversed into a wristlock as A-Train rants about Benoit not being able to get him in the Crossface. Benoit headlocks him down and does it again when Charlie tries to get up. It’s too early for the Crossface though and Benoit is sent outside.

A-Train actually does something by offering a distraction, allowing Haas to baseball slide Benoit down. Haas starts in on the ribs with a gutbuster before a clothesline gets two. Something like an abdominal stretch with Benoit on the mat keeps the ribs in trouble as A-Train continues to have nothing interesting to say. Some kicks to the ribs set up a normal standard abdominal stretch as Benoit just can’t get anything going.

A single German suplex rocks Charlie but he takes Benoit right back down to continue the wrestling clinic. Benoit finally gets in a clothesline and the release German suplex is good for two. Haas is right back with a suplex of his own, dropping Benoit on his head in a scary landing. Not that it matters as Benoit slaps on the Crossface, drawing A-Train in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Haas is someone who sticks to a game plan very well as his finisher works the ribs so he beats on the opponent’s ribs for the entire match. What’s not all well and good is A-Train talking. He looks like a monster and wrestles a monster style, but egads he doesn’t need to be out there talking. It’s just not something he’s good at and him saying these really lame limes for the whole match didn’t make me want to see them fight. Stick to what people are good at and stop trying to wedge them into places where they don’t fit.

Post match A-Train puts Benoit in a Crossface of his own.

Here are Vince and Sable for their weekly segment as Cole tries to explain why Vince vs. Stephanie is still going. Tazz thinks it’s all a way to get Stephanie to quit. What gave you that idea Tazz? All the times where he ordered her to quit? Vince talks about everyone needing an opportunity to be forgiven for making a mistake, which brings him to Stephanie. She needs to reverse her decision to have Brock Lesnar defend the title against Undertaker and then quit immediately.

Cue Stephanie (nearly falling out of her top the entire way) to say she won’t do either of those things. Vince ups the ante for No Mercy: when she quits, she’s out of a job too. Stephanie almost begs him not to make the match but Vince goes into a rant about how Stephanie is throwing away all the years of their relationship. He calls what she’s doing defiance and Stephanie starts getting what she considers emotional.

Sable reminds Vince of what he called Stephanie last week so Stephanie tells her to go lay on her back in the men’s locker room like she does best. The catfight is on until Vince slams Stephanie, who starts crying. Undertaker comes out for the save and kicks fellow invader Brock Lesnar in the face as more crying ensues.

So quick recap of this story: we’re supposed to be on the side of and feel sympathy for the rather good looking (and surgically enhanced) millionaire heiress who is being told to quit her vanity job by the father who caused her to be a millionaire heiress in the first place? Oh and after EVERYTHING that Vince has done to people over the years (and that Stephanie has done to people over the years for that matter), a single slam is supposed to be this big, devastating moment? And this is their best idea?

A very stereotypical Mexican delivery guy (complete with a brightly colored blanket and a sombrero with MEXICO written on it) shouts about a delivery of burritos for Eddie. Big Show intercepts them and eats one before spitting in another, which is especially for Eddie. The delivery guy has no issue with any of this.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending. Kidman accidentally runs into the referee to start (not something you see very often) but manages to hurricanrana the champ out to the floor. That means a big dive as things are starting fast. Back in and Kidman’s slingshot is countered with a kick to the shoulder and Tajiri takes over. Tajiri starts in on the arm with a hammerlock and some knees as Tazz talks about the importance of intensity.

Another kick to the shoulder set s up another hammerlock as this isn’t exactly what you would expect from Tajiri. Kidman comes back with an enziguri for two but Tajiri kicks him out of the air (that’s more like it) to take Kidman down again. The BK Bomb gets two and Kidman ducks the Buzzsaw Kick, only to get caught with a low blow. Now the Buzzsaw Kick connects to retain the title.

Rating: C. The arm work was a nice change for Tajiri and it made for a fun match. The cruiserweight division isn’t the most interesting in the world right now but at least the talent still around is putting on some good to very good matches. That being said, what in the world happened to Ultimo Dragon? He’s still doing dark matches and Velocity, but that might be a record for the fastest fall from grace I can remember in a long time. It was like two weeks.

Orlando Jordan vs. Big Show

Show comes to the ring holding his stomach and seems to have some issues after kicking Jordan in the ribs. A clothesline puts Jordan down but Show bails to the floor and takes the countout due to stomach issues. Cole after the countout: “The burritos having a negative effect on Big Show!” Thirty seconds later: “What is wrong with Big Show???”

Zach Gowen joins us live via satellite and says he’s tired of being asked how he’s doing. He knows wrestling is for him and he’s back in the ring next week.

We now join Big Show in the bathroom with various sound effects. Eddie comes in and admits that he spiked the burritos, knowing that Show would steal them. He also steals the toilet paper because COMEDY! So to recap: a few weeks ago, Eddie was in a great fight with Cena inside a ring of cars and then became a double champion. Now it’s toilet humor. Thanks for that WWE.

John Cena/Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle/Undertaker

Cena’s rap says he makes it ok to root for the villain and something about a man dressed as a woman. The fans remind Lesnar that he tapped out as Kurt and Cena start things off. Kurt takes him down without much effort and armdrags Cena into an armbar. One heck of a clothesline gives Angle two and it’s off to Undertaker. The arm cranking continues but Undertaker stops to swing at Lesnar.

The distraction lets Cena poke Angle in the eye and Kurt gets beaten down in the corner. A good looking backdrop puts Cena down though and we take a break. Back with Lesnar firing off shoulders to Kurt’s ribs in the corner as we’re firmly in the tag team formula. Lesnar stomps on Kurt and hits a gorilla press, only to have Angle grab a German suplex. Cena offers a distraction though and the referee misses the ensuing hot tag.

A Shell Shock of all things gives Brock two and a powerslam plants Kurt again. Somehow Kurt is right back up with the Angle Slam and it’s a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Undertaker, who comes in with the running corner clotheslines. Brock is thrown to the floor (nearly landing on his head in the process) but still comes back in to break up the cover on Cena. There’s a spinebuster to Undertaker though and it’s back to Angle via the power of Olympic recovery skills. Suplexes a go-go have the villains reeling but Cena grabs the chain to knock Angle cold for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid main event tag here as I’m always a fan of combining two feuds into one for an easy match like this. Cena pinning Angle is the right call as Angle showed he’s dominant with wrestling and playing by the rules but loses when Cena cheats. Undertaker being all fired up doesn’t do much for me but it’s all we’ve got for a co-main event right now.

Post match Lesnar loads up the F5 to put Undertaker through the table but gets reversed, setting a chokeslam through said table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where the wrestling was completely acceptable for the majority of the show but the stuff outside of the matches was dreadful. I mean, spiked burritos and OH NO VINCE MCMAHON DID A WRESTLING MOVE??? We’re coming up on a pretty weak pay per view with the battling McMahons as the real main event but the rest of the show isn’t exactly thrilling either. At least the TV is watchable, which is more than can be said about the episodes of Raw leading up to Unforgiven.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s time for some crossover appeal as John Cena is making his return to the show in an attempt to find a way to get to Wrestlemania. You know, because that’s just so hard otherwise. Other than that we have to get ready for Fastlane because it’s cool to have a pay per view four weeks before Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show.

And here’s how Cena got here tonight.

Here’s John Cena to open things up. He makes no bones about it: he wants in on the Fatal Five Way for the #1 contendership at Fastlane so let’s find out what he has to do to get there. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Cue Commissioner Shane McMahon to summarize everything, only to be cut off by a LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant.

Cena says half the people want him in the match so he should go in. The fans switch to RUSEV DAY and it seems that Cena will be having a shot. This brings out Daniel Bryan, to say he agrees with Shane. They’re willing to put Cena in the main event and if he wins, he’s in the Fastlane title match. His opponent tonight: AJ Styles. The DQ finish seems obvious and that would make the most sense at this point.

Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn

Kevin Owens is on commentary. Byron: “Well let me ask you this Kevin.” Kevin: “No.” Corbin sends Sami outside to start as Owens makes bald jokes. Sami gets in a shot on the announcers’ table and a backdrop sends Corbin over the barricade. We cut to the back where Shane and Daniel are arguing over Owens being allowed to do commentary as Shane thinks he’ll interfere. Bryan thinks he’s entertaining and we take a break.

Back with another RUSEV DAY chant and let’s cut to Shane eating popcorn while Bryan continues to defend Owens being on commentary. Sami dives into a chokebreaker and Corbin’s slide under the ropes into the clothesline gets two. They head outside with Sami getting dropped but Corbin stops to yell at Owens. The distraction lets Sami hit a DDT back inside as Dolph Ziggler comes in through the crowd for a superkick to Owens. Sami glares at Ziggler and walks into the End of Days for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: C+. The fact that they’re now having these battling bosses arguing over actual matches is not a good sign, nor is it a sign that these things are ending anytime soon. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of that in the coming weeks, plus at least another week of random singles matches to set up the five way, because that’s all WWE knows how to do for something like this.

Ziggler gives Corbin the Zig Zag.

Bryan says that was fun and takes off for the night with Shane’s blessing.

Post break Sami and Kevin are furious and don’t get any better when Shane (and his box of popcorn) doesn’t seem to think much of their complaint. Geez END THIS STORY ALREADY!

Naomi vs. Ruby Riott

Of course the other four are at ringside because having this be a singles match might involve developing more than one person and that’s too much to ask from the precious writers. They go to the floor for the big staredown to start and it’s an early break. Back with Riott holding a seated full nelson as we cut to Carmella answering fan questions in the back. Naomi fights up and it’s a double kick to the head for a knockdown. A shot off the top misses so Naomi goes with a scorpion kick instead. Ruby sends her into the corner though and the Riott Kick is good for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean much but Riott winning to further her chance against Charlotte makes sense. Riott isn’t going to win the title but it’s a good idea to push someone before we get to Wrestlemania and what is likely Asuka vs. Charlotte. I mean, we of course can’t announce anything like that yet because the world needs Fastlane but I’m sure four weeks for Wrestlemania is fine.

Charlotte and Becky run the Squad off.

We go to the Fashion Police’s office where Breezango runs into the star of the new USA series Unsolved. The series is about the unsolved murders of Biggie Smalls and Tupac so we get a Biggie/Big E. joke/cameo. The actor says he’s just an actor and not a real detective, making Fandango sad. This was a rather unfunny cross promotional ad.

Here’s New Day (with the words on the screen because NEW DAY’S entrance isn’t easy to remember) for a chat about renewing their rivalry with the Usos. Big E. says it’s as hot as his inner thighs in the summer. Or winter. Or anytime. He has Kofi spritz his thighs with a bit of water so Woods can talk about how they’re ready to go to New Orleans and party on Bourbon Street as the new champions.

Cue the Usos to say they used to be the New Day with the bright colors looking like a box of Skittles. That didn’t get them to the top because they ground their way up. They’ve been here nine years and have been left on the sideline of EVERY Wrestlemania (so Kickoff Show matches don’t count).

Big E. gets right back in their faces and says they’ve taken the ball and rushed the field. They hosted Wrestlemania while the Usos were sitting in the back eating catering. New Day didn’t get here because of their daddies and they’ll take the titles for the fifth time. This brings out the Bludgeon Brothers, who bring the hammers into the ring. That’s enough for the Usos and the New Day, who bail in short order. Very strong segment here with Big E. showing some great fire before the big title match.

Earlier today, Rusev Day came in to see Shane and get a match tonight. Shane, in song, made Aiden English vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.

Ziggler says he’s not back to get lost in the shuffle and deserves to main event Wrestlemania.

Bobby Roode is glad to be fighting Randy Orton because the US Title means a lot. Maybe Orton is just jealous over the top ten list. Orton comes in to say it’s because the US Title is the only title he’s never won, which is as good of a motivation as any.

Aiden English comes to the ring for his song but the fans cut him off with the Rusev Day chants. Eventually he sings Shinsuke is an artist but not the real artiste.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Aiden English

Nakamura wastes no time in firing off the kicks, followed by COME ON. More kicks have English in trouble and we take a break. Back with English getting knocked off the corner but a Ruse distraction lets English hit a reverse fireman’s carry slam for two. The running knees in the corner miss but Aiden’s high crossbody just seems to fire Nakamura up. Good Vibrations into the running knee has English in trouble and the Kinshasa is good for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Nakamura never feeling like he was in any real danger. Nakamura needs some bigger wins than this though as just fighting various low level people (and by various I mean this one as he hasn’t had a match in nearly a month) like English isn’t the best way to set up Wrestlemania.

Cena comes out for a quick staredown before his match.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting an early shoulder block for two. A chickening/half nelson has AJ in trouble but he fights out with some chops for a breather. The tornado DDT out of the corner lands awkwardly and gives Cena two as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the ProtoBomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle but AJ comes back with the fireman’s carry neckbreaker for a near fall of his own.

A TKO of all things gives Cena the same and Baron Corbin is watching in the back. AJ’s torture rack neckbreaker and Cena’s hard running clothesline get two each but Cena charges into an enziguri as we take another break. Back again with AJ getting two off a clothesline of his own but a Lionsault misses. Cena grabs a Code Red for two more and floats over from the near fall into the STF.

That’s reversed as well and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two. The springboard 450 hits knees though and the AA connects. Cena tries another though and winds up on the floor where a missed charge sends him into the steps. AJ won’t take the countout though and gets AA’d through the announcers’ table for a knockout. Cena rolls back in as the referee checks on AJ, meaning Styles can dive back in to beat the ten count. There’s the Calf Crusher but Cena powers to his feet for another AA and the pin at 22:00.

Rating: B+. These two could have a good match in their sleep so this is no surprise. It’s also not a surprise that Cena is going to the pay per view where he can have another shot at Wrestlemania, which means he’s likely losing at Fastlane so we can set up Cena vs. Undertaker in less than a month. Still though, as good as you would have expected here.

Post match Corbin, Owens and Zayn come down to beat on Cena and Styles. Ziggler runs in for the save but decks AJ. That earns him an AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. You know, last week I said maybe we could add the rest of the roster to the Fastlane match to save some time. At the time, I wasn’t serious but now, we’re a step closer to that actually happening. Assuming this is just a big way to set up Cena vs. Undertaker, we’re looking at less than four weeks to build it up, because of Fastlane (and Nikki Bella last year).

I’m starting to think Fastlane should just be called Speed Bump. It slows you down on the way to where you want to go, can cause damage to what’s working just fine, and it’s better if you just can just pull to the side and avoid it altogether. The show won’t be bad, but they REALLY shouldn’t be building to another pay per view when Wrestlemania is in forty days. Good show this week, but it’s building to the wrong pay per view.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days

Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa

John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 25, 2003
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to start building to No Mercy and we have a new World Champion with Brock Lesnar having taken the title from Kurt Angle in last week’s Iron Man match. The other big story is Los Guerreros winning the Tag Team Titles to make Eddie a double champion. I’m sure there will be no animosity on Chavo’s part. Let’s get to it.

Last week was a big week and you should look at it again.

Opening sequence.

Tonight, the Cruiserweight, Tag Team and US Titles are on the line. That’s quite the show.

The World Title is on a podium in the ring and here are Vince McMahon and Sable for a presentation. Vince praises Brock for his win last week but here’s Angle to interrupt. Before Kurt can say anything, Vince knows he’s here to claim Brock cheated and to challenge him for the title tonight.

That’s not happening though, because Angle might have to wait a long time to get another chance. That means starting from the bottom so tonight he’s going to be here to present Brock with the title. Angle isn’t feeling that and says either Brock comes out here and gets a beating or Kurt can go outside and give him the beating there.

Instead here’s John Cena to accuse Angle of having female genitalia. The fight is on and Cena is thrown over the top with ease before he heads to the back. That’s enough waiting for Angle so he goes to the back and finds a door labeled Brock Lesnar. That might be a good place to start. All he finds is a gym bag but here’s Cena to jump Angle.

During the break, Cena ran to the parking lot and drove away. Angle commandeered Vince’s limo and driver for a very late pursuit.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Matt, who has wrestled with strep throat and hates taking medicine, and Shannon are challenging. As someone with at least fifteen diagnosed cases of strep (to go with eight cases of bronchitis and three pneumonias, two of which were double pneumonia, I feel for him). Eddie and Matt start things off with Matt stopping for an early pose. It’s Chavo coming in off a blind tag to take Matt down as the champs start taking turns on Hardy.

Matt finally sends Chavo outside into the announcers’ table and Moore sends him into the apron for good measure. Shannon comes in and shows some nice fire with the forearms to the back. It’s not enough fire to keep Chavo in trouble for long though as he gets over for the hot tag.

Everything breaks down in a hurry with Eddie having to fight them both off, only to get caught in a neckbreaker from Matt. Chavo hits a high crossbody on Shannon to give Eddie two, only to have Shannon hit a dropkick to the back for the same. With Matt sent outside, Chavo belly to backs Shannon down so Eddie can drop the frog splash to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s always a good sign when a match makes me wonder what they could do with more time and that’s what happened here. Shannon is a pretty good high flier and he looked solid in support of Matt here. Los Guerreros are more than talented enough to make this work, especially when we get to the eventual split over Chavo being jealous.

Post match Matt jumps Eddie and gives him a Side Effect onto the belt.

During the break, Charlie Haas, who challenges Eddie tonight, ran out and attacked Chavo, followed by a Haas of Pain to Eddie. Tonight could make Eddie look like an even bigger star.

Here’s a ticked off A-Train for a chat. Now who thought this was a good idea? He’s tired of hearing that he can’t beat Chris Benoit because he can beat anyone. A-Train gives an open challenge but settles for beating up the timekeeper, even giving him a Crossface. Benoit runs out for the save and puts the Crossface on A-Train. That’s broken up with raw power though and A-Train chairs him down.

Eddie’s ribs are badly damaged but he swears he can wrestle.

Vince tells Sable how great she looks tonight and admires her figure. She takes off his jacket when a production guy comes in. Vince wanted to see him twenty minutes ago and yells as a result. Anyway, we’re doing the Brock presentation later. I’m sure nothing bad will happen.

Charlie says he’s taking the US Title tonight to make up for losing the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Tajiri’s heel turn and beatdown of Rey Mysterio to set up tonight’s title match.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. Tajiri cranks on the arm to start and drops a knee for an early two. A hurricanrana into a victory roll gives Rey two and we hit a quick pinfall reversal sequence. Rey’s charge hits the corner though and we hit the Tarantula for a few seconds. Tajiri loads up the mist but misses, allowing Rey to knock him outside and follow with a good looking slingshot dive.

Back from a break with Rey getting kicked out of the air for two. Tajiri hammers away at the ribs and hooks something like an abdominal stretch. It’s off to the bodyscissors with Tajiri even throwing in a few rollups for two as a bonus. That’s so much better than what you usually get with this hold. How often do you see a hold like this go on and stop paying attention for a bit because nothing is happening? Those rollups aren’t anything great but they’re keeping it from being boring, which is more than you can expect otherwise.

Rey fights up and hits a sitout bulldog, followed by a moonsault press for two. Tajiri is right back with a Michinoku Driver but kicks the referee by mistake. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick to the back and Rey scores with the 619. The West Coast Pop misses and Tajiri kicks him in the face. Cue a second ref to check on the first and count a very delayed two. Rey snaps off a standing hurricanrana but the replacement referee is still checking on the first. Tajiri goes with the red mist and steals the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This got the time that it needed to make things work, though the referee stupidly turning his head at the end didn’t work so well. Tajiri winning the title makes the most sense as it strengthens his heel turn and lets Rey do something else. It’s not like he’s going to regularly defend the title so let someone else have it and get some more momentum as a result.

Video on WWF and the Russell Simmons’ Hip Hop Action Network coming together for a voting drive.

Cole and Tazz brag about UPN’s ratings successes. But did Smackdown beat the Mullets?

Basham Brothers vs. Jamie Noble/Bradshaw

Billy Gunn is hurt so Jamie bought half of the APA for the night. It’s a brawl to start with Jamie diving onto Danny as Bradshaw beats Doug up in the corner. Danny low bridges Jamie to the floor though and Shaniqua kicks him in the head to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit until Jamie dragon screw leg whips his way to freedom. A swinging neckbreaker is enough for the tag to Bradshaw for the quick beatdown. The Last Call sends Doug flying but Shaniqua takes Nidia’s head off with a clothesline. Jamie checks on her so Bradshaw hits the Clothesline, drawing in Shaniqua for the DQ.

Rating: D. So the point here was to push Bradshaw and Shaniqua? This would have made more sense as the APA vs. the Bashams but if that’s the case, just have the Bashams get a win. As usual, WWE feels the need to push the worst possible options out of a match and for some reason I don’t see Shaniqua panning out as the latest force in the women’s division.

Long recap of the Iron Man match.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas

Eddie is defending and has bad ribs while an angry Big Show is on commentary. Show claims that he’s tired of being ignored so he gets up and posts Eddie before the bell. Charlie is smart enough to stomp away and hits a backdrop to stay on the ribs. A quick toss to the floor gives Eddie a breather but Charlie is back in with a double leg takedown for two. The back is bent over Charlie’s knee until Eddie grabs the face for the break.

Charlie is right back up with another posting so here’s Chavo to check on him. That earns the nephew a right hand and an ejection but the distraction allows Eddie to grab the rope at two. The Haas of Pain goes on but Eddie slips out after a good while. Haas grabs the belt, which is quickly taken away and laid in the corner. Eddie of course grabs it and wraps it around the corner as Charlie shoves the referee. That’s not a DQ so Charlie dives at the buckle and knocks himself silly, setting up the frog splash to retain.

Rating: B-. So we’re heading towards Big Show vs. Eddie? That would be a good way to make Eddie look like a giant killer, but if history has shown me anything, it’s never bet against WWE’s ability to push Big Show over the wrong talent. Eddie looked great here as he fought through the injuries and he continues to be the best thing on this show every single week.

Here are Vince and Sable to try the presentation again. Vince demands us on our feet to welcome Brock, who at least gets to come out this time. After Brock’s posing, Vince declares him the new unstoppable face of Smackdown. Brock doesn’t mind the YOU TAPPED OUT chants because he’s the new champion. As for Kurt, he had him in the palm of his hand last week and was never in danger of not getting the title back. Brock says he’s unstoppable so here’s Undertaker because who else was it going to be.

Undertaker didn’t interfere last week because he has too much respect for the title but he’ll get in Lesnar’s face now. He doesn’t forget or forgive but he does have some advice for Brock: polish that title up because his first defense is against Undertaker. Vince wants to know how that happened and here’s Stephanie, because this is still about the McMahons. Stephanie explains the match but Vince says no because her authority is going to be rescinded. If she doesn’t change her mind right now, it’s Vince vs. Stephanie in a match at No Mercy.

Stephanie is completely taken aback by this (Someone wants to hurt Stephanie? What insanity is this?) but won’t change her mind. Vince makes it an I Quit match and yells at Stephanie so Undertaker grabs his arm. That earns Undertaker a belt shot but he’s back up with a chokeslam to Lesnar to end the show. That’s a really bad double main event but they’re still way ahead of Unforgiven, which says more about that show than No Mercy.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event angle and the Basham match were the only bad things going on this week as the rest was focused around Eddie Guerrero, which is never a bad thing. There was good wrestling here though and the stories are solid enough to make the show not feel long, which is a lot more than Raw can say.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6