IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 17, 2018
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the second half of the Superstar Shakeup and that means we’re likely to see some of the same people that we saw last night. The only confirmed move to Smackdown is the Miz, meaning we’re counting down the days until Miz vs. Daniel Bryan, which should be a major match on a big stage. Let’s get to it.

Here’s what happened on Raw last night.

We open with a recap of Shinsuke Nakamura’s fake apology and attack of both Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles last week.

Here’s Styles to get things going. AJ says it’s true that Nakamura is an artist, but he’s a con artist. Last week Nakamura showed his true colors and AJ isn’t letting that go. He’s not leaving the ring until he gets to face Nakamura so get the two faced coward out here right now. Instead it’s Aiden English and Rusev, with the former singing about how AJ can’t make Rusev pay because it’s Rusev Day. If that’s as good as AJ can get, let’s go.

AJ Styles vs. Rusev

Calf Crusher goes on and English comes in for the DQ at 28 seconds.

Post match Daniel Bryan comes in for the save.

Paige comes in to see Shane McMahon and makes the tag match main event (with a Teddy Long impression for a bonus). Paige leaves and Shane does a Teddy dance, which she sees.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin, now without a partner thanks to Chad Gable going to Raw, to talk about how he no longer needs Gable. Actually he never needed him because Shelton is a great athlete. Tonight he’s talked to Paige about getting some competition, so let’s do it right now.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Randy Orton

Actually hang on a second as someone else comes out during Orton’s entrance and takes his place.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Shelton wastes no time in throwing Jeff to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Jeff hammering away but favoring his leg. The basement dropkick gets two but Shelton breaks up the Whisper in the Wind. Jeff sends him face first into the buckle though and a reverse Whisper in the Wind gets two. Benjamin’s Dragon Whip is good for the same but Pay Dirt is countered with a kick to the chest. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton is enough to finish Benjamin at 8:19.

Rating: C+. They were starting to cook near the end here but the important thing is how this felt like a match from ten years ago. Both guys looked good and got to show off. Hardy could very easily become a top player on Smackdown in a very short time. He has the charisma and can still go in the ring. What more could you ask for from him? Well staying sober and out of jail would be a good start but other than that, there’s a lot of potential there.

Miz didn’t like Daniel Bryan tweeting about wanting to punch him in the face. That’s not happening tonight because Miz is in Los Angeles with Maryse and his newborn daughter. He’ll be here next week and he’ll kick Bryan’s a….Maryse: “Mike! Language!” Miz: “You catch my drift.” That match is going to be awesome when it takes place.

Jey Uso vs. Harper

Harper throws him around to start and Jey dives onto Rowan. That earns Rowan a superkick from Jimmy but the discus lariat pins Jey at 52 seconds.

Post match the Brothers beat down the brothers. Jey is sat up against the steps as they grab the hammers but Naomi runs in to beg for him. They actually listen and the Usos are spared.

Sin Cara vs. Samoa Joe

Cara hammers away but gets popped with the snap jabs to the jaw. Joe clotheslines him out of the air and pounds at the back of the mask, setting up the Koquina Clutch for the tap at 1:28. Total squash.

Post match, Joe says this is the land of opportunity but all he sees is a land of handouts. Everyone has been treated softly and been told they’re better than they really are. Now Joe is going to get all the opportunities. He’s going to put Daniel Bryan to sleep, defang the Viper Randy Orton and decimate AJ Styles. I’m perfectly happy to watch any of these things happen. As for Backlash, Joe will still be waiting there to put whatever is left of Roman Reigns out to pasture for good. Believe that.

Raw and Smackdown cobranded pay per view singing video. I still don’t know what the point of this is.

Sanity is coming.

Daniel Bryan is ready for the tag match when Big Cass shows up and says Bryan is what all the fuss is about.

Here’s Carmella for her championship celebration, meaning a lot of leopard print. She doesn’t want to hear everyone cheering for her because they were nowhere to be seen until she won the title so shut up. Carmella is now known as champion, because she beat CHARLOTTE FLAIR! The woman who beat ASUKA! Now she’s the woman around here and that means a video tribute with a song saying it’s all about her.

Back in the arena, Carmella says she’s going to miss Frankie (the briefcase) because they got close over the last 297 days. She names the belt Cleopatra but here’s Charlotte to interrupt. The highlight reel is missing some highlights, such as that chinless troll helping Carmella and the Iconics beating her down last week. Cue the Iconics to mock Charlotte again, this time calling her a crying baby who needs a bottle. Peyton says they’re the future and that future is Iconic. Charlotte drops off the apron and gets after the two of them, earning herself another beatdown. Becky Lynch comes in for the save.

Charlotte vs. Billie Kay

Joined in progress with Charlotte getting in some forearms but Billie takes her down by the hair. We hit the armbar for a bit until Charlotte fights up, only to get tripped by Peyton. Back from a break with Charlotte not being able to get the Figure Eight. Billie’s rollup gets two but a hard kick to the face sets up the Figure Eight to make Billie tap at 7:59.

Rating: D+. Too chopped up to mean much but at some point the Iconics need to win a match. Now obviously that’s not the case when Charlotte is coming off a big loss, but maybe they shouldn’t be having this match. There are some interesting pieces to this division though and it could get interesting if they’re pushed in the right directions.

Post match the beatdown is on but Asuka comes in for the save with the Iconics getting beaten down and Carmella bailing.

Anderson and Gallows are coming.

The Bar is coming to Smackdown. So we can ink in Hardy and Wyatt winning the titles.

New Day runs into R-Truth. Tye Dillinger comes in and they’re good friends, though Truth thinks he’s still on Raw. Truth: “My bad. I’ll see y’all tomorrow.” Tye: “Is he going to be ok?” Big E.: “No.”

We recap the recent arrivals (including last week). Of note: Sanity doesn’t include Nikki Cross and it’s still Big Cass, not Colin Cassady.

Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega are coming. Works for me, as long as those two are together.

AJ Styles/Daniel Bryan vs. Aiden English/Rusev

Bryan wastes no time in taking English down into a surfboard so AJ can come in off the top with a shot to the chest. Rusev tries to come in and the threat of a double submission sends the villains bailing to the floor. Back with AJ fighting out of English’s chinlock but getting backdropped for two. Rusev comes in and stomps away as the fans aren’t as in to the RUSEV DAY chants as before. It’s almost like you can kill a crowd if you try.

It’s back to English who dives to keep Styles from the tag. That earns him a Pele and the double tag brings in Bryan and Rusev. Everything breaks down and Bryan scores with the YES Kicks on Rusev. Graves: “You can’t call them that because the Miz is coming to Smackdown Live!” Phillips: “Oh shut up.” There’s the running knee to Rusev but here’s Nakamura with a low blow to Styles. Cue Big Cass to kick Bryan in the head for the DQ at 12:38.

Rating: C. I heartily approve of this Cass push. I was a fan of the guy before he got hurt and now without the little fungus around him, there’s potential there. They must think something of him if they’re putting him with Bryan right off the bat, as Bryan can definitely get a good match out of him.

Cass stares down at Bryan and Nakamura still can’t speak English to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I really dug this one and for once, Smackdown looks like it came out of one of these things with a very strong roster. Some nice NXT callups and some returns to go with the fresh talent from Raw make this a very pleasing night. It’ll be nice to get done with the Greatest Royal Rumble so we can get back to normal, but there are some VERY interesting situations on Smackdown, far more than Raw at least. Good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 10, 2018
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the last major show of the week and after Raw, Smackdown has a lot to live up to. There were a ton of surprises, debuts and returns on Monday and I’m not sure how many more will be showing up tonight. If nothing else we might get more wrestling as that tends to be more of a Smackdown focus. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking down on the ring with the Titantron on my right. The majority of the upper deck was tarped off and there were large sections of empty seats around the arena.

Here’s Shane McMahon, still announced as the Commissioner. That would still be accurate, even though he’s on a leave of absence at the moment. He thanks the fans for coming from all over the world to be here for such a big week because WWE couldn’t do it without them. He’s had a lot of great Wrestlemania moments but none of them topped teaming with Daniel Bryan.

Now since Bryan has returned to full time competition, Shane has accepted his resignation as General Manager. Therefore, we need a replacement so Shane is proud to present….Paige. I would have bet on Jeff Jarrett so this is a VERY nice surprise. Paige hits that I’m back line and says Shane was the first person waiting on her after her retirement speech last night. The Superstar Shakeup is next week but tonight we can do something special. It’s been a long time since Daniel Bryan and he needs an opponent. Fans: “RUSEV DAY!” Paige isn’t sure. Fans: “AJ STYLES!” Paige: “AJ STYLES!” Works for me!

Non-traditional audience disclaimer.

New Day vs. Usos

Winners get the Bludgeon Brothers at Greatest Royal Rumble. Woods punches away at Jimmy to start but Jey gets in a blind tag for a double boot to the head in the corner. It’s off to Big E. for an overhead belly to belly and Woods lifts Big E. onto his shoulders (dang) for a splash. The Unicorn Stampede takes us to a break and we come back with Big E. missing a splash onto the apron.

Jimmy comes in off the hot tag and gets in some uppercuts to Woods, followed by an enziguri on Big E. The Samoan drop gets two but Woods grabs a DDT for a breather. Woods’ legdrop gets two and we actually go back to tagging. Jey charges at Big E. in the corner but gets Rock Bottomed into a Backstabber from Woods. A double superkick drops Big E. but Woods comes in with a missile dropkick for two more. One more superkick sets up the Superfly Splash to end Woods at 10:25.

Rating: B-. This felt a lot longer live, albeit in a good way. These two have some great chemistry together but it might be better to have them apart for now. They’re only going to be able to have so many great matches together and it would be nice to get some fresh opponents for both. Either of them going to Raw would make sense, but the Bar vs. the Usos sounds like a really promising match.

Post match the Bludgeon Brothers come out for the staredown.

John Cena Make-A-Wish video.

Earlier today, Naomi was proud of winning the battle royal but Natalya came in and was all catty to her, which is the chosen path every time we need a thrown together women’s match. Naomi’s entrance is so seventh grade or something.

Naomi vs. Natalya

Naomi headlocks her down to start and then snaps off a hurricanrana for good measure. Natalya gets sat on the middle rope and taken down with a slingshot legdrop (cool spot) as we take a break. Back with Natalya holding an abdominal stretch, including some of her traditionally lame trash talk.

Naomi finally slips out and tries a sitout Stunner but just pulls Natalya’s hair instead. A Scorpion kick works a bit better but Natalya plants her with the always good looking Batista Bomb. The Sharpshooter is broken up and the discus clothesline gives Natalya two more. Naomi is sick of this though and kicks her in the face, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 7:28.

Rating: C-. Natalya is such a black hole of charisma that her good in-ring work doesn’t make up for it. At the same time though, Naomi has come a very long way in a short amount of time. I’m not sure how much higher she can go but to turn into one of the stronger performers on the show is quite the accomplishment.

Renee Young asks Shinsuke Nakamura why he attacked AJ Styles on Sunday. Nakamura is rather sad about his actions and says the emotions got the better of him. He’s very, very sorry for what he did but Renee thinks he’s being disingenuous. She wants a more specific answer, but Nakamura remembers that he can’t speak English. Maybe it was just me but a lot of Nakamura’s accent went away in the first half of his talk and came back when he couldn’t remember English. The last line was funny too.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat. This Sunday, Asuka made her work harder and dig deeper than she ever has before and for that she has to thank her. The match was different and they left it all in the ring. That was magical, and the question is who does she make magic with next. Cue the Iconics (Billie Kay and Peyton Royce, formerly the Iconic Duo) to make their full time debut.

They’re willing to do some magic by making that title disappear. They’ll give her some credit for her Wrestlemania match being good but not iconic. Peyton mocks Charlotte’s speech, by thanking her second grade math teacher, the Uber driver who brought her here, and air for allowing her to breathe. You know that’s getting some cheers from this crowd.

The brawl is on and Charlotte can’t fight off the numbers game for very long. They throw her over the announcers’ table and then throw her in the other direction just to keep things even. Charlotte gets posted and double powerbombed on the floor as the fans chant for Carmella. Anytime now would be just fine. They throw Charlotte back inside (with Peyton struggling with the dead weight) and strike the pose. That’s enough for them and HERE’S CARMELLA! After a long time of asking if she’s sure (Carmella: “COME ON!”), the referee rings the bell.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Charlotte

Carmella is challenging and wins with a superkick in 7 seconds.

So this is a mixed bag overall. The Iconics make an awesome debut and instantly look like threats (they can do what even Asuka couldn’t by laying out Charlotte). It makes this feel like a big deal and Charlotte has multiple directions to take now. At the same time though, KILL MONEY IN THE BANK WITH FIRE AND PITCHFORKS. This makes the whole Charlotte vs. Asuka match seem like a waste of time because “oh never mind Carmella wins anyway”. But hey, at least Money in the Bank, a match that took place about ten months ago gets a payoff. If that has to take away from a classic match, eh who cares. Shock value and all that.

Carmella teases coming back to the ring but poses on the ramp more instead.

Bobby Roode vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

The winner gets Mahal, at ringside, for the US Title at Backlash. Joined in progress with Roode having to block an RKO but getting hammered down in the corner by Rusev. A Blockbuster drops Rusev for two but Orton throws him to the floor. The Machka Kick gets two on Orton and all three head to the floor. We get the required announcers’ table abuse before Roode elbows Orton in the face a few times.

The Glorious pose is struck but the Glorious DDT is blocked. Rusev pulls Orton to the floor though and drops him onto the table to give the fans some hope. The spinwheel kick drops Roode (he’s taken a beating tonight) and there’s the running superkick. The Accolade goes on but Orton makes the save and posts Rusev. That means the RKO to put Roode away at 7:07.

Rating: D+. What does it mean when just losing instead of being pinned is the best thing to happen to Rusev all week? Why in the world we’re seeing Orton vs. Mahal AGAIN on pay per view is beyond me but that’s what we’re stuck with all over again. I’d rather we just get this out of the way in Saudi Arabia but Mahal is why we can’t have nice things. Rusev….I feel for you man.

Post match, Orton stares down at Mahal. After the show went to break, Orton posed for a very long time, to the point where the referees were practically yelling at him to leave and then giving a frustrated look when he wouldn’t leave. Maybe a goodbye to Smackdown?

Carmella talks about being the princess that threw Charlotte off of her throne. She took 287 days to set up the perfect moment to win. She’s almost overcome with emotion and then congratulates herself with a big smile. Carmella has no idea who Peyton Royce and Billie Kay are either. She’s good in the role, but this feels like a major step down after what we had been getting for the last few weeks.

AJ Styles isn’t worried about Shinsuke Nakamura because he’ll put a fist down that throat when he gets the chance. Tonight, he’s across the ring from Daniel Bryan. Daniel may be great, but he’s not phenomenal.

AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title. AJ takes him to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. A shoulder block works a bit better and things speed up. Bryan fights out of a test of strength and starts in on the arm with the hard kicks. It’s off to a hammerlock with Bryan bending the arm in a variety of unnatural manners. AJ fights up and it’s the drop down into the dropkick as the fans aren’t sure who they like more. The slingshot forearm to the floor drops Bryan again and we take a break.

Back (after Bryan misses a Swan Dive in the break) with Bryan hitting the running clothesline to set up the YES Kicks. AJ counters the big one with the dragon screw legwhip but Bryan moonsaults over him in the corner. That’s fine with AJ, who moonsaults over him right into the reverse DDT to drop Bryan for two. The Phenomenal Blitz is reversed into a cross armbreaker but AJ rolls over for the break.

Instead it’s the Calf Crusher to work on Bryan’s bad knee but Bryan reverses that into the YES Lock, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A hard clothesline gives AJ two and they’re both winded. Bryan is back up with some hard kicks and it’s time to load up the running knee.

Thankfully AJ is smart enough to realize that the YES chants mean something is coming and he ducks the knee, only to get pulled into the YES Lock. Dang Bryan will get you one way or another. AJ gets the rope so Bryan puts him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks. A belly to back superplex is reversed into a crossbody….and here’s Nakamura to knee Bryan in the head for the DQ at 12:42.

Rating: B. This was getting somewhere but the ending was the right call. Bryan vs. Styles could be a major pay per view match and there’s no reason to throw away a clean finish on a regular TV match. They were starting to really turn this into something good as both guys were cranking it up. I was liking this more than Styles vs. Nakamura from Wrestlemania so there’s hope for something better in the future.

Post match Nakamura abuses Styles’ groin and hits Kinshasa to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They went with a very different style than Raw with only the Iconics (and Paige in a different way) debuting here. I like that as a change of pace, especially when you can throw some of the new names from last night over to Smackdown in the Shakeup if necessary. The focus was on wrestling tonight and that made for something fresh after last night’s mainly angle heavy show. Good show with a taste of what could be a big time dream match down the line.

Results

Usos b. New Day – Superfly Splash to Woods

Naomi b. Natalya – Split legged moonsault

Carmella b. Charlotte – Superkick

Randy Orton b. Bobby Roode and Rusev – RKO to Roode

Daniel Bryan b. AJ Styles via DQ when Shinsuke Nakamura interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 13, 2003
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it’s time for a bunch of matches to set up Sunday’s elimination match. However, one of those matches needs a participant as Kurt Angle’s team only has four members at this point. You can probably guess the last member but the official announcement probably takes place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Later tonight: Brock Lesnar/Big Show vs. Chris Benoit/the fifth member.

Kurt Angle vs. Nathan Jones

Jones has Matt Morgan in his corner but he’s ejected before the music even turns off. A top wristlock goes very badly for Angle so he switches to a double leg takedown for some better results. You know, by using wrestling. Back up and a big boot misses so Angle can knock him out to the floor. Jones drops him face first onto the barricade though and Angle is in some sudden trouble. Not enough trouble that he can’t punch his way out of it, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two.

A hard slam plants Angle though and we hit a very lazy looking neck crank. Jones drops an elbow for two, which Cole calls impressive. That would be a vintage low standard. Back up and Angle’s clotheslines just get on Jones’ nerves but the rolling German suplexes work far better. Kurt grabs the Angle Slam and ankle lock but Morgan comes back in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Angle was trying as hard as he could here but it’s clear that Jones is still very limited. If only there was a place they could send him for development of his skills or something like that. The match didn’t have time for Angle to build anything up, but I’m scared to imagine what it might have been if this wasn’t either Angle or Benoit or someone with the energy and skill to pull this off as well as he did.

The beatdown is on until Hardcore Holly makes his, ahem, triumphant return with a chair for the save. Holly wants Lesnar right now but gets no one.

After a break, Holly is still hunting for Lesnar but Paul Heyman threatens to suspend him if he doesn’t calm down. Heyman begs him to leave tonight because he’s not medically cleared until Sunday. Holly eventually leaves and yeah, the fact that it’s Hardcore Holly completely kills what they’re going for here.

Sable and Vince McMahon are looking at the WWE 24 book with pictures of Vince’s dog. Vince isn’t interested because he has a headache but a picture of Undertaker makes him angry. He talks about a dream he had where he was watching maggots eat his dead body but he wound up eating them. Then he couldn’t move and laid there in a stench until they ate him again and again in a loop. Eventually he woke up and smelled the same stench because he had soiled himself. Vince: “What does this mean?” It means that Vince wrote this segment and doesn’t understand why this feud is so bad.

Here’s Jamie Noble to call out Tajiri before Survivor Series. Tajiri actually comes out but the goons, now named as as Akio and Sakoda, follow him for the beatdown. Rey Mysterio runs in for the save though and clears the ring.

Akio/Sakoda vs. Rey Mysterio/Jamie Noble

Joined in progress after a break with Noble slamming Akio before it’s off to Sakoda for some stomping. Mysterio springboards in with a high crossbody to speed things up, only to walk into a hot shot. We hit the front facelock and then a cravate as the new guys are a decent power team, at least for their size. Rey slides between his legs but Akio (who the announcers keep calling Sakada) cuts Tajiri off.

Akio grabs a choke with his knees in Rey’s back but Rey pops up with a headscissors into a reverse DDT for the double knockdown. The hot tag brings in Noble so things can speed up again. Everything breaks down and Akio spinwheel kicks Noble down. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Tajiri comes in to kick Tajiri in the head, giving Akio the pin. The referee doesn’t even notice that Akio’s feet are underneath the ropes. Fire this man.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here but Akio and Sakoda aren’t the most thrilling team. Tajiri being built up is a good idea and there’s something to this Noble feud as I want to see Jamie get some revenge. The wrestling wasn’t great though and the ending was a little messy. I do want to see Noble vs. Tajiri more though and that’s the point of the match.

Eddie and Chavo are in the back when a detective comes in. Eddie’s wife’s sister has been in a horrible accident in El Paso so Eddie has to leave. Chavo isn’t happy with this because of their Tag Team Title match tonight. Eddie glares at him and Chavo calms down.

Post break Chavo goes to Paul Heyman, who postpones the title match until Survivor Series. For tonight though, Chavo has to have a handicap match. Shaniqua and the Bashams agree to the idea with Shaniqua accusing Chavo of not having any huevos. The match is made.

The announcers plug the Unscripted book. I remember wanting to read that.

Undertaker is in the graveyard, saying Vince is the one that has to pay. Sunday is Vince’s day of reckoning and he’ll become another victim. Undertaker talks about all the people he’s destroyed but none of them have wanted his wife raped or his children kidnapped. Keep in mind that this is coming from Undertaker, who once kidnapped Vince’s daughter and tried to force her to become his wife in a demonic wedding.

Undertaker shovels dirt into the grave and talks about wanting Vince to suffocate on the thoughts of what he’s done to people over the years. This is said over shots of Vince torturing Stephanie, because somehow, this is still about her. Even when Stephanie isn’t here she drives stories.

Basham Brothers vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo takes Danny to the mat to start as Tazz determines why Eddie is called Latino Heat: He’s Latino and he has heat. An armdrag into some dropkicks have Danny in trouble so Shaniqua gives the Brothers a little whipping for motivation. Chavo kicks Doug in the ribs and dives off the apron onto Danny, followed by a Boston crab back inside. That’s broken up and we hit the double teaming in the corner.

Doug grabs a chinlock as the announcers debate Heyman’s issues with family. The hold goes nowhere so Doug goes up for the dive onto Chavo’s raised foot. Everything breaks down and Chavo hits a tornado DDT to send Doug outside. Shaniqua tries to come in and it’s Twin Magic so Danny can get a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. So in other words it’s the same match as last week but Chavo isn’t as good as Eddie. There’s not enough to this story to keep it going for so many weeks, mainly because the Bashams have no characters other than liking to be whipped by Shaniqua. Chavo is trying but at the end of the day, he’s Chavo Guerrero and working with Eddie. There’s only so much he can do.

Post match Shaniqua kicks Chavo in the face, setting up a double beatdown.

Kurt Angle won’t talk about the fifth member.

Chavo gets treatment as the Bashams laugh from the locker room. IT WAS A RUSE! So now the Bashams and Shaniqua are outsmarting Eddie and Chavo?

Bradshaw vs. A-Train

….oh dear. They fight over a lockup to start until Train clubs him upside the head a few times. Bradshaw sends him to the floor to no avail as Train runs him over back inside. The catapult into the middle rope has Bradshaw in more trouble and we hit a bad sleeper. Bradshaw reverses into one of his own but gets suplexed down. Somehow, that’s enough to keep A-Train down at the same time, mainly because wrestling is weird that way. Bradshaw gets in a dropkick (!) and swinging neckbreaker but charges into an elbow in the corner. The Derailer gets two and it’s the Clothesline to put A-Train away.

Rating: D. Oddly enough I didn’t hate this as they just hit each other really hard for a while. The problem is they did that for over six minutes, which is far longer than these two should be out there. The other problem is Bradshaw. There’s nothing about him (at least in this version) that makes him anything more than a big guy with a hard clothesline. I need something more than that to get invested in.

Angle and Benoit are in the back with Benoit really not liking Angle’s pick for the fifth team member. Whoever it is has made a career out of making them miserable and they can’t be trusted. Angle points out that they feel the same way about each other but sometimes you have to deal with it to reach a common goal. John Cena comes in to say he doesn’t like them either but he’ll team with them to get his hands on Team Lesnar. Benoit threatens Cena and promises to take it out on Angle if things go badly.

Vince is stressed so Sable brings in a priest to relieve some tension. Sable leaves them alone and Vince recaps the situation. The priest starts praying but Vince asks why his eyes are open. Is he that awed by Vince’s presence? Next Vince wants to pray on their knees but that doesn’t work either. The prayer continues and Vince breaks into laughter. See, this prayer needs to be for Undertaker because Vince has heard the calling. Vince cuts a promo on Undertaker and the priest is stunned. As has been the case since it started, this is stupid.

Video on Raw’s matches.

Tazz and Cole run down the blue show matches.

Brock Lesnar/Big Show vs. John Cena/Chris Benoit

Cena and Lesnar start things off and it feels so much more natural to have Cena as a face. Lesnar throws him around without much effort and drives the shoulders in the corner. Some power drives Lesnar into the corner and it’s off to Benoit for the rapid fire kicks to the ribs. A snap suplex gets two but Show comes in to headbutt Cena down without much effort. The fans chant SUBWAY because that passes for clever around here. Show gets in the chokeslam but Benoit pulls Cena to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cena caught in an abdominal stretch and getting suplexed by Brock. Lesnar tries one too many suplexes though (I’m as shocked as you are) and gets taken down, allowing the hot tag to Benoit. A release German suplex sets up the Swan Dive for two with Show making the save. One heck of a clothesline takes Benoit down and it’s back to Show for more tossing. That means more SUBWAY chants as Show sits on Benoit’s chest.

Brock’s chinlock keeps things slow until Benoit chops his way up and grabs another German suplex. The hot tag isn’t seen though and Cena is taken back to the apron, allowing Lesnar to grab a DDT. Benoit finally gets in an enziguri for the real hot tag to Cena and everything breaks down. The Crossface to Lesnar has the referee distracted, allowing Cena to low blow Show and hit him with the chain for the pin.

Rating: D+. Dull match, but the ending was the right idea. Cena is still brand new at the good guy thing and it makes perfect sense to have him act like a villain until he gets used to this new role. He cheated to win here but he’s cheating against bad guys. Once this feud is over, he can become the full on good guy that he’s destined to be.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: Survivor Series isn’t looking great overall and the blue side is much weaker than its red counterpart. Undertaker vs. Vince is a bad story and the Survivor Series match feels thrown together (when Hardcore Holly and Bradshaw are two of your best options, there’s a major problem). Like, are Angle, Cena and Benoit going after the title after this? They’re certainly not acting like it at the moment. Throw in something like that and see if this gets better. As things are now, things aren’t looking good but maybe they can surprise me. Save us Raw?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2003
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and that means things are picking up fast on the blue show. Last week saw most of the Survivor Series match being set up, which may or may not be something that interests you. The big part though: John Cena seems to be turning from the evil side to the good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

Cena says Rey beating him is like Big Show eating one Cheerio. Oh and Rey is a midget dominatrix. The fans love Cena’s jokes and give him a CENA chant as the turn is really starting to click. Cena drops to his knees to start and then bails when certain references are made. A hard shoulder works a bit better for Cena and he breaks up a springboard with a hard right hand. We hit the chinlock back inside but Rey fights up with the sitout bulldog for two. The springboard seated senton gets the same but Cena breaks up a top rope dive with a low blow. An FU is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Cena winning is the right call here as they’re doing something with him and having him lose to Rey would have made him lose some steam as they head into Survivor Series. It’s not like Mysterio needs to win every match so everything is fine here, especially with Cena getting a nice boost.

Post match here’s Team Lesnar, complete with Paul Heyman. Paul likes the idea of Cena taking things like that win, but tonight he’s going to give Cena something. Not a title like he has to earn, but the fifth spot on Team Lesnar at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second though because no one tells him what to do. Besides, he doesn’t fit in on Team Sasquatch. Cue A-Train from behind to beat Cena down with the rest of the team coming in to join the attack. Lesnar cracks him over the head with a chair and Cena is done.

I know he cheated to do it, but having Cena win makes this better. Today, WWE would do this after he lost a nothing match and then wonder why the angle does nothing. It’s such a logical detail but for some reason it tends to elude WWE time after time, which gets very annoying in a hurry.

Post break, Heyman gives A-Train the fifth spot.

We recap everything falling apart for Eddie Guerrero. Break him down so you can build him up.

Chavo Guerrero tells Eddie that he can’t be out there for Eddie’s handicap match against the Bashams. Eddie needs to do this himself because he’s been the one who caused all of these issues.

Big Show vs. Bradshaw

Non-title. Bradshaw wastes no time in hammering away, just like the fans waste no time in calling this boring. A big boot puts Big Show on the floor and it’s Bradshaw hammering away even more as they get back in. Show kicks him in the face to take over though and the pace gets much slower. Some headbutts have Bradshaw in more trouble as Cole talks about how heavy Team Lesnar is. Bradshaw knees him in the face and takes it outside again with a hard whip sending Show into the barricade. Back in and a chokeslam ends Bradshaw in a hurry. It’s that fast.

Rating: D. There’s not much else that these two are going to do and the short time helped as much as it could. Bradshaw as a singles guy isn’t working very well when it’s just APA Bradshaw as a singles wrestler, doing exactly the same thing. You can only rip of Stan Hansen so many times and it’s not exactly thrilling stuff with Bradshaw on his own.

Heyman tells Torrie that he’s in charge now, backs her against the wall, and tells her she’s going to do this his way.

Kurt Angle is upset that Faarooq is officially out of Survivor Series. Chris Benoit tells him to calm down when Torrie comes in to say Heyman is sending them a message. Tonight it’s Benoit/Angle vs. Team Lesnar (minus Show).

We get a sitdown interview with Undertaker, who hates Vince for costing him the title. Therefore, Vince must be destroyed. Vince doesn’t respect the wrestlers and that’s not cool with Undertaker, so a beating has to take place. You have to be held accountable for your actions and that’s what Vince has waiting on him at Survivor Series.

Ernest Miller is still coming.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

If Eddie wins, he and Chavo get a title shot next week. Eddie stomps away at Danny to start but Danny grabs a pumphandle, with a hard thrust as Eddie is bent over in front of him. That’s not cool with Eddie or the crowd for that matter as they don’t really react to it. Something like a reverse Michinoku Driver gives Doug two but Eddie walks the ropes for a hurricanrana. A slingshot dive drops Doug but Shaniqua kicks Eddie in the face to cut him off again. The lazy announcers don’t even call her an Amazon this time.

A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and we hit the chinlock. Eddie gets out with a jumping jawbreaker and avoids a top rope legdrop (with some serious height). Backdrops a go-go give Eddie some momentum and he takes them down at the same time. It’s frog splash time but Eddie has to deal with Shaniqua, allowing the Twin Magic switch. Not that it matters as Eddie steals Shaniqua’s whip and gives the ref a spank. Danny gets caught with the whip and while defending himself, gets rolled up to give Eddie the fluke pin.

Rating: C-. I’m over the Bashams’ “comedy” and having them lose in a handicap match wasn’t the best idea in the world (though it makes Eddie look great again, which is the bigger priority). This sets up the title match, and you can almost bet on Los Guerreros losing to further their split, which should help Eddie in the long run.

Post match, Eddie and Chavo are all cool again and leave in the low rider.

Here’s Vince to talk about the buried alive match hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles. Vince wants one more chance and asks for everyone to lower their heads and close their eyes for an invocation. He prays for forgiveness for what he has to do but he’s been chosen to destroy the Undertaker. As usual, I have no idea why this is supposed to be the top feud.

Hardcore Holly is still on his way back.

Tajiri/Nunzio vs. Jamie Noble/Ultimo Dragon

Noble is making a surprise return and goes charging after Tajiri but gets dropped by Nunzio. It’s quickly off to Dragon for the strikes to Nunzio, including the series of rapid fire kicks for two. Tajiri comes in and gets sent to the floor with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. His still unnamed goons offer a distraction though and Nunzio gets in a cheap shot to take over again.

The Sicilian Slice gets two on Dragon and the stomping continues. Back up and Nunzio tries a superplex but gets reversed into a faceplant for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Noble but he gets caught in the springboard flying armbar (Arrivederchi). Tajiri misses the handspring elbow though and gets rolled up to give Noble the pin.

Rating: C+. The cruiserweights are fine and this face turn from Noble has been really well done. I want to see him beat Tajiri up for what was done to Nidia and that means the story has been working. It’s not going to lead anywhere because it’s a cruiserweight match but at least we’re getting a nice little story in the meantime.

Survivor Series rundown, with Noble vs. Tajiri for the title announced.

We recap the Cena beatdown, just after the announcers were wondering who would be Angle’s fifth man.

Brock Lesnar/A-Train/Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Brock sits in on commentary to start. Jones shoves Angle into the corner as Brock brags about how long Jones was in prison. A gorilla press is countered and Angle dropkicks the knee, allowing the tag to Benoit. Morgan tosses Benoit again, which Lesnar compares to throwing bales of hay on the farm. Lesnar: “I think he’s a farm kid.” Tazz: “He’s from Fairfield, Connecticut.” Lesnar: “They got farms up there!”

It’s back to Angle, who avoids a charge to send Morgan face first into the middle turnbuckle. A-Train comes in and bearhugs Benoit as Lesnar keeps listing off stats. Back from a break with A-Train running Benoit over again and throwing him outside. That’s enough to get Lesnar off of commentary and come in for some shots to Benoit’s back. A delayed fisherman’s suplex gives Brock two as the announcers declare Team Angle done because of how much Team Brock weighs. So not only is Cole Art Donovan’s dream commentator, but apparently wrestling really doesn’t matter in WWE.

Morgan grabs a bearhug of his own before handing it off to A-Train, who is taken down with a German suplex. The hot tag brings in Angle and it’s time for the rolling German suplexes. An Angle Slam drops Morgan and another one gets rid of Brock as the straps come down. Kurt gets the ankle lock on Lesnar while Benoit Crossfaces A-Train, drawing in Big Show for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but the ending was pretty obvious. You’re not going to have most of THE GREATEST TEAM EVER losing ten days before Survivor Series, even if it’s to two of the best in the world. Jones and Morgan were kept to a minimum here and that’s a good thing. Let them get their feet wet in the next week before going into one of the biggest pay per views of the year. It’s totally logical.

Bradshaw runs in to clothesline Show but Morgan and Jones take him down. Cue Cena with a chair to clean half of the house until a Derailer cuts him off. Lesnar gets the chair and decks everyone, leaving Team Lesnar to stand really tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing everything they can with this Survivor Series match but it’s turned into Big Show/Lesnar vs. Cena/Angle/Benoit and that’s not the most exciting thing in the world. As a show, this was fine and advanced the stories, but you have to remember which stories are being advanced and that brings things back down. Undertaker vs. Vince is a terrible main event and I’m having trouble remembering that Heyman is even running things at the moment. Not a bad show, but Survivor Series is looking bleak for the blue team.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 3, 2018
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

There are two hours of WWE TV left until Wrestlemania XXXIV, meaning this episode of Smackdown Live is a very important night. You can guess a lot of what you’ll be seeing tonight but at the same time there’s always the chance of a curve ball. I wouldn’t be expecting WWE to add in that many surprises but you never know around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open the show and shockingly enough, the fans seem into him. He wastes no time in bringing out Shane McMahon for the first time in a few weeks. Shane praises Bryan for having the courage to come back and get in this ring despite everyone telling him it would never happen. He brings up having diverticulitis and a hernia thanks to Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn but just like Bryan, he’s medically cleared for Sunday.

Bryan has to apologize to Shane though, because Shane was right about Owens and Zayn all along. Shane says he was a little stubborn over the last six months. Bryan: “YOU? STUBBORN? NO!” Bryan wants a hug but Shane offers a handshake. That’s not working because they shook hands a few minutes ago and the people of Nashville want a HUG. The fans finally get their wish and Shane promises to get rid of Owens and Zayn once and for all.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title. Charlotte takes it to the mat with a headlock but Natalya reverses into one of her own. A backbreaker gives Charlotte a pair of near falls and the Figure Four neck lock with the face plants has Natalya in more trouble. Charlotte flips her a few times for good measure and Natalya bails to the floor. For some reason Charlotte follows her out and gets posted as we take a break.

Back with an exchange of abdominal stretches (Gorilla Monsoon would be all over Charlotte’s technique) until Charlotte gets two off her kneeling neckbreaker. Natalya jumps on her back for a sleeper but a Backpack Stunner gets Charlotte out of trouble. The moonsault misses though and a double clothesline puts them both down. Cue CARMELLA with the briefcase but Charlotte kicks it away before the match is officially on. That gives us a staredown and Charlotte kicks her….near the face I guess. Natalya tries a sneak attack but gets caught in the Figure Eight for the tap at 13:04.

Rating: C+. Good grief get rid of the briefcase already. She’s not winning the title and there’s no point in wasting our time acting like it’s happening. The briefcase has run its course for years now so just let the cash in happen so she can lose already. They’ve spent forever on the build and it’s getting annoying to wedge the story in before Wrestlemania.

Post match here’s Asuka to say at Wrestlemania, the Queen bows down to the Empress. Charlotte cuts off the catchphrase and says she’s ready, but she’s not sure about Asuka being ready.

AJ Styles is ready for Shinsuke Nakamura and admits that Nakamura may be in his head. That’s nothing new though because AJ is used to being scrappy against the bigger guys. Nakamura is taking him too lightly because we’re far from the Tokyo Dome and AJ is the WWE Champion. This is a dream match, but the reality is AJ is winning on Sunday. Good promo from the champ here.

Long recap of Bryan/McMahon vs. Owens/Zayn, which has quite the long history at this point. Owens and Zayn attacked Shane, resulting in Bryan firing them. They attacked him too, so it was time for Bryan to have a match and beat them up.

Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal

Bobby Roode is on commentary. Aiden English handles the introductions, which are done in rhyme this time around for a change of pace. The threat of an early Accolade sends Mahal to the floor and we take a break. Back with Mahal hitting a running knee to the face to take over and getting two off a neckbreaker and knee drop.

We hit the chinlock and the fans start up with that RUSEV DAY chant all over again. It’s off to a break with another inset ad for Wrestlemania (Lesnar vs. Reigns this time) and come back with Mahal superkicking Rusev for two. Rusev kicks him in the head as well but it’s too early for the Accolade. The jumping superkick gives Rusev the pin at 9:54.

Rating: D+. Rusev should have kicked him even harder as last year should have been Rusev’s spot instead of Mahal’s. Rusev is perfect for the same role but he’s not from the right country. Now he has merchandise sales strong enough to get him a spot in a Wrestlemania title match, even though Mahal leaving with the title wouldn’t surprise me.

Post match it’s an RKO for Rusev but Aiden beats Orton down. Roode shoves English off the top and into an RKO though, leaving Orton and Roode to stare each other down. This match still does nothing for me, which seems to be a rather common consensus.

Nakamura says he takes things very seriously and has wanted to be at Wrestlemania his entire career. He knows AJ very well and knows how emotional AJ is. When Styles makes a mistake, it’ll make Nakamura champion with a knee to the face. As usual with Nakamura’s promos, this was fine.

New Day teaches us how to watch Wrestlemania for free. Before Big E. can pull an XBOX out of Woods’ pants, the Usos come in to say the same thing. The Bludgeon Brothers arrive and scare them away before smashing a camera. I was worried they would be selling me the Network as well.

Baron Corbin/Primo/Mojo Rawley/Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder/Breezango/Tye Dillinger

Everyone is in the battle royal. Mojo and Ryder start things off but all eight come in for the staredown and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler and Tye both down before it’s off to Corbin for right hands in the corner. Mojo comes back in but misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Fandango. Snap jabs have Primo in trouble and the Falcon Arrow gets two as everything breaks down. Various people throw others over the top until Corbin tosses Breeze onto the pile in a crazy power display. Fandango walks into End of Days for the pin at 5:38. Not enough shown to rate but this was just a preview for Sunday.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable are ready to destroy Nakamura and Styles tonight.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come through the crowd (with Owens in a KO-MANIA III shirt, thankfully continuing the trend of using the old Wrestlemania logos) onto the announcers’ table. No one is stopping them tonight so they’ve got some apologies of their own. Sami apologizes to Birdie and Brie Danielson for what’s going to happen to Bryan. A YOU DESERVE IT chant started by Sami doesn’t quite catch on but the mic is cut off anyway. Shane and Bryan come out, sending Owens and Zayn bailing into the crowd. Bryan says this is the last time they’ll be on Smackdown and Shane starts the Goodbye Song.

Wrestlemania week rundown.

Shinsuke Nakamura/AJ Styles vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

Gable wrestles Nakamura to the mat to start so Shinsuke goes over to AJ and pats him on the head for a tag. Benjamin and Gable are sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with AJ hitting an enziguri on Gable and making the hot tag to Nakamura. House is cleaned in a hurry with the hard strikes until Gable knees him in the head.

The moonsault gets two on Nakamura and we hit the chinlock, plus an inset promo on Asuka vs. Charlotte. Back with Benjamin working on the arm until Nakamura kicks him in the face a few times to get a breather. The hot tag brings in AJ, who glares at Nakamura and finishes Gable with the Phenomenal Forearm at 12:11.

Rating: C. This was a way to have Nakamura and Styles in the same ring before the match on Sunday and that’s fine. It’s not like Benjamin and Gable have anything to lose at this point as they’re likely just going to the battle royal instead of having anything important at Wrestlemania. Styles vs. Nakamura should be good, but could be great.

Post match Nakamura gets beaten down but AJ doesn’t save. Instead Nakamura fights them off on his own and AJ springboards in but pulls up before hitting the forearm. A pat to Nakamura’s head has him annoyed as Styles leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This felt more like a traditional go home show and while Smackdown doesn’t have anything that I really want to see, they have some stuff that I’m interested enough in watching. If they get everything right on Sunday, they could put on a heck of a card. As usual though, there’s every chance that they’ll blow it (see last year in some places) but I’m cautiously optimistic right now.

Results

Charlotte b. Natalya – Figure Eight

Rusev b. Jinder Mahal – Jumping superkick

Baron Corbin/Primo/Mojo Rawley/Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder/Breezango/Tye Dillinger – End of Days to Fandango

AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin – Phenomenal Forearm to Gable

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 30, 2003
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The Heyman Era has its first full night this week and you can imagine that Vince McMahon isn’t all that happy with him. Last week’s show ended with Undertaker managing to defeat Big Show and Brock Lesnar in the same match. Naturally he pinned them both in one match because wins and losses don’t matter to champions in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s big story with Heyman becoming GM and Undertaker overcoming the odds to set up his Buried Alive match at Survivor Series. It’s amazing how much younger and energetic (and less bloated) Heyman looks here. This eats up over four minutes.

Opening sequence.

At Survivor Series: Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar.

A-Train/John Cena vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Rematch from last week where Angle and Benoit got in a fight. Before the match, Cena thinks Angle and Benoit are breaking up but then they were kissing and making up. Oh and he and A-Train are Han Solo and a Wookie. The chicks dig that about A-Train though. Benoit headlocks Cena to start as the announcers talk about who might be on which Survivor Series team.

A hiptoss sends Cena into the corner and it’s off to Angle to beat on him even more. A-Train comes in and gets suplexed, followed by a backdrop to Cena. That’s enough of a distraction for A-Train to blast Cena with a clothesline, followed by a Vader Bomb for two as the pace picks up a little bit. Something like a Polish Hammer gives Cena two (there’s a move that could come back) and the big clothesline puts Angle down again.

A DDT allows the hot tag to Benoit who starts cleaning house with a running forearm to A-Train. Benoit grabs the German suplex but the Swan Dive only hits mat. Angle is right back in with an Angle Slam to A-Train, only to walk into an FU. Not that it matters as Benoit rolls the German suplexes on A-Train, followed by the Swan Dive for the pin. How often do you see that get a clean fall?

Rating: C. This was entertaining and got a little bit of time to make things that much better. A-Train is good in the role of enforcer and Cena is getting better in the ring. You can see a lot of the Survivor Series teams from here and that makes for some fun times. They could put together a good match and if the build works as well, so be it.

Post match Cena yells at A-Train and gets slapped so Cena kicks him low. An FU plants A-Train and I think the face turn has begun.

Vince rips into Heyman for screwing everything up last week and says there won’t be a Buried Alive match because there won’t be an Undertaker at Survivor Series. Heyman says that’s going to be a problem because he’s given Undertaker time off until Survivor Series. The following is a direct quote.

Vince: “This is what’s gonna happen. Terrorists are going to burn down the Undertaker’s house. His children are going to be kidnapped. His wife, she’s gonna be raped by a motorcycle gang, right in front of him. That’s the plan I want implemented!” BUT REMEMBER! THE MOST DASTARDLY THING VINCE EVER DID WAS CLOTHESLINE AND BODY SLAM STEPHANIE! Vince wants all this done in fifteen minutes or he’s going to strangle Heyman to death in the arena.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for a Trick or Treat contest and sizes up some of her options. Naturally she just got out of the shower and is in a towel.

Angle asks Benoit to be on his team and Chris accepts. They are NOT friends though.

Heyman goes to see Vince and tells him he didn’t go through with any part of Vince’s plan. Good for him to not be in on the terroristic threats and various other crimes. Vince isn’t happy and promises to strangle Heyman to death and THEN fire him. Paul asks why Vince has sunk this low. He used to go toe to toe with Steve Austin and now he’s happy with slapping around Paul Heyman, Zach Gowen and Stephanie McMahon? Heyman wants the ruthless Vince who destroyed WCW and stared down the federal government. We get the big inspirational speech and Vince seems to buy it.

The announcers want to know what’s going on.

Video on the recent house show tour. Are they running short tonight and needing to fill time?

Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Tajiri sits in on commentary with his bodyguards at his side. Rey’s tights are rather odd as he has his usual blue/green tights but what looks to be purple cutoff jean shorts over top of them. A spinning springboard crossbody gets two on Dragon as Tajiri is rather tight lipped about anything Cole asks him. He does apologize for misting Nidia but says she’s not nice. Rey dropkicks the knee out and the sitout bulldog is good for two. Dragon backdrops him over the top to avoid the 619 and kicks him out of the air for good measure. The ref gets bumped and Tajiri kicks Rey (behind Dragon’s back) for the pin. Dragon is confused.

Post match Tajiri and the goons get in with Tajiri bowing to Dragon, who just shrugs and leaves.

Big Show and Brock Lesnar bicker about last week’s loss. A production assistant comes in to say Heyman wants to see Lesnar in the ring. Show: “That can’t be good.”

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and another giant. Heyman introduces Jones as someone who is feared on several continents and was given bad advice by Undertaker. His fellow monster is Matt Morgan, meaning Heyman has scooped both Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff because Morgan will dominate everyone put in front of him. With the two of them guarding him, Heyman wants Lesnar here right now.

Cue Brock with a smile on his face and telling Paul to shut up. Brock isn’t dumb enough to get in there with those two monsters but Heyman wants to talk business. That’s cool with Lesnar but he brings out Big Show just in case. Lesnar still hates Heyman’s guts, but if he wants to talk business then it’s another thing. Heyman has named Lesnar a captain at Survivor Series and he’s already given Brock three team members: Big Show, Jones and Morgan. There are two other men who want to be the last member of the team, so tonight it’s Big Show/Lesnar vs. the APA. Heyman says to trust his greed, which seems to work for Brock.

Orlando Jordan and Paul London are playing Smackdown vs. Raw when Dawn Marie comes in to show off her costume. They seem pleased and go back to the game.

Hardcore Holly is still coming back.

Funaki, in an afro and loud jacket, is the emcee for the Trick or Treat contest. Torrie is a sexy bunny (complete with carrots) and Dawn is Wonder Woman (a required costume). They both get to present their costumes and of course Torrie wins, despite wearing a bit more than she usually does. Next up is bobbing for apples in chocolate with Dawn covering herself in said chocolate and taking her top off. Tazz says that’s the treat so let’s show Funaki the trick. Torrie shoves Tazz into the chocolate. Was this supposed to be funny? The costumes looked good but the “comedy”….not so much.

Ernest Miller is coming. WHY???

Brock offers Cena the last spot on the team but doesn’t get an answer.

Tazz, still covered in chocolate, hugs Cole.

Chavo Guerrero reminds Eddie of his recent losses. He’s sinking low again, like when he was on drugs and alcohol. What is with the writing on this show tonight?

We recap Eddie’s losses. Can we get a match anytime soon?

Here’s a depressed Eddie, on foot, for a chat as the lack of wrestling continues. Chavo wanted a public apology for Eddie losing two titles in a week. It’s true that Eddie let people down, including la familia. Eddie apologizes in Spanish and says what Chavo told him hurt. He’s been fighting his addictions for a long time and it’s life for him instead of a game. A fan says Eddie sucks and Eddie agrees with him. Why did Chavo have to bring that up?

Eddie talks about his character being defined by how he picks himself up after being knocked down. A smile creeps onto his face and Eddie says he’s going to fight for Chavo and his raza. Cue Shaniqua with the Tag Team Titles. Eddie: “A mamacita wannabe!” It’s a ruse so the Bashams can come in for a beatdown but Eddie fights all of them off. Danny breaks up a frog splash attempt though and Eddie gets beaten down. Way to use the energy from that really good promo guys. Chavo FINALLY comes in for the save.

Post break Eddie rants to Heyman about wanting the Bashams so he gets them next week….in a handicap match. You know, like last week. Eddie freaks out.

Angle announces the rest of his team: the APA and Bob Holly. And we’re supposed to pay to see those three against Jones and Morgan?

The announcers mess with the chocolate some more.

Survivor Series rundown.

Since we haven’t talked enough yet, Undertaker has a sitdown interview to talk about why he picked Vince. Sometimes you have to take beatings to get what you want but Big Show and Lesnar will get what’s coming to them later. Undertaker wants the title back so he has to get rid of Vince to get him there. Vince has dug his own grave.

Big Show/Brock Lesnar vs. APA

Yep, it’s your main event. Brock and Bradshaw start things off with the champ throwing him into the corner without much effort. Bradshaw gets in a shoulder but it’s off to Show to run him over again. A side slam and headbutt have Bradshaw rocked even more as this is one sided so far. Faarooq comes in for some better results, including charging at Show and clearly pulling up before hitting a shoulder. Show boots him in the face as everything breaks down. A chair to Faarooq’s back is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Nothing match here but you can imagine the post match angle that it was there to allow. The APA just doesn’t matter in 2003 and there’s really no hiding it anymore. They used to be good but Faarooq is too old and it’s getting harder for them to find ways around it. There was nothing to see here and that was the planned idea.

Post match Lesnar and Show destroy Faarooq’s leg with a chair. Bradshaw gets chaired down as well but it’s Benoit and Angle coming in for the save. A double submission goes on but Morgan and Jones run in for the beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Total wrestling time on this show: 12:27. Now I can live with a show with very little wrestling if the rest is good but remember what we had on this show. We went from Vince wanting to have Undertaker’s wife raped to Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan being presented as main eventers to a costume contest with Tazz being shoved into chocolate to a speech about overcoming addictions to Bob Holly being presented as a main eventer. This was horrible and I don’t know if Vince was preoccupied with the wedding or something else but it was a complete mess with almost nothing of value in two hours.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 27, 2018
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’ve got two episodes of Smackdown Live left to go before Wrestlemania XXXIV and that means two episodes featuring Daniel Bryan. It’s not clear what he’s going to be doing in New Orleans but if the Shane McMahon health issues are true, a lot of things could be up in the air. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Before we get started, Happy Birthday Pop (the aforementioned Tony).

We open with a recap of Bryan’s announcement last week. That’s the most emotional moment WWE has had in a long time.

Bobby Roode/Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal/Sunil Singh

And hang on as Singh’s arm is banged up after Roode and Orton attacked him last week. Mahal has a replacement though.

Bobby Roode/Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal/Rusev

Mahal takes Roode into the corner to start as Orton still has his vest on. Roode elbows everyone down but Singh gets on the apron, earning himself a whip into the barricade. The vest comes off and we take a break. Back with Orton working Rusev over in the corner until a kick to the head rocks Orton again. The evil foreigners take turns stomping on Orton and it’s a chinlock from Mahal. Orton suplexes his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Roode for the usual.

Roode’s spinebuster gets two on Mahal as Orton is calmly watching Roode deal with both of them. Mahal takes Roode down again and we take another break. Back with Roode fighting out of a chinlock but eating a jumping knee to the face to keep him down. Rusev’s chinlock has as much success and Roode starts his comeback but Orton tags himself in. The snap powerslam drops Rusev but everything breaks down with Roode hitting Orton by mistake. That earns him an RKO but the Machka Kick ends Orton at 18:26.

Rating: C. This was more long than good, though certainly not terrible. Hopefully this adds Rusev to the title match and gives us a little payoff for all of the RUSEV DAY stuff. It’s not the best thing in the world but at least there’s a logical reason to get us to the next match. That being said, I wish there was another way to get us there other than the champion getting pinned. But hey, that might require thought.

Post break an excited Mahal offers Rusev and Aiden English front row tickets to Wrestlemania. Rusev has another idea though: a spot in the US Title match. Mahal is no longer happy.

Shinsuke Nakamura comes in to see AJ Styles and says he helped him last week to keep AJ strong for Wrestlemania. Nakamura has Shelton Benjamin tonight and wants AJ in his corner. Styles agrees to protect the dream match.

Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott

Becky wastes no time in knocking Riott to the floor but an argument with the Squad allows Ruby to run her over. Back in and Ruby cranks on Becky’s arms but gets taken down by a forearm. Becky scores with the clotheslines until Ruby pulls her off the ropes. The rollup is called off due to feet on the ropes but the Riott Kick is blocked. Ruby is whipped into Logan and a rollup gives Becky the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here but Becky came off like a star, as always. I know Charlotte and Asuka are bigger deals and bigger stars, but they’re crazy if they don’t do something with Becky in the near future. The Squad continues to be the punching bags for the big names in the division, but at least they’re around to keep things moving.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat on the stage. He loves being in Pittsburgh because he’s cleared to be back in the ring. However, tonight he has a job to do as General Manager. Bryan is willing to give Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn one more chance: in a tag match against Shane McMahon and himself at Wrestlemania. Shane should be back in time for Wrestlemania, so we have some stipulations. If Owens and Zayn lose, they stay fired. If they win, they’re back on Smackdown Live.

Bryan talks about opportunities, like the ones he’s given Owens and Zayn. He’s given them those opportunities because the two of them have always been there for him, whether it’s as a partner or if he needed a bed to sleep in. Bryan has a bunch of responsibilities as General Manager like going to meetings, filling out paperwork and wearing these blazers (CM Punk would not approve).

He’s sick of all of them because he fought for three years to get this spot. Owens and Zayn have held him back and now, it’s time for him to fight at Wrestlemania. Bryan goes on a rant about how this isn’t the Bryan on a disabled list or the General Manager. This is the Bryan coming to Wrestlemania to take out Owens and Zayn.

Here’s New Day for a chat before their match. Their path to Wrestlemania was so clear that they had put New Orleans in their GPS. But it turns out that the Road to Wrestlemania was bludgeoned with horribly ugly trash. They’re willing to adopt that highway though and clean up the Road to Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers

Joined in progress with Rowan cranking on Woods’ arm. Woods is thrown around with ease and Kofi gets beaten down as well, albeit this time on the outside. Not that it matters as the Usos come in to jump the Brothers for the DQ at 1:54.

Zayn and Owens have accepted the challenge.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Video on Charlotte vs. Asuka.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

They’re both in the Andre battle royal. Fandango gets on the apron for a dance so Ziggler dropkicks Breeze down. It’s time to run laps so Breeze’s superkick only gets two. They trade rollups for two each but the Zig Zag ends Breeze at 2:10.

At Wrestlemania, the Usos defend against New Day and the Bludgeon Brothers.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

AJ and Chad Gable are the seconds. Nakamura starts with the knee to the ribs and Good Vibrations puts Benjamin on the floor as we take an early break. Back with Shelton holding Nakamura in a chinlock with a grapevine until Nakamura fights up. Kinshasa is loaded up but Gable offers a distraction, allowing Shelton to get two off a northern lights suplex. Paydirt is countered into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. Benjamin powers out but gets kneed down, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C. Shelton isn’t as good as he used to be but he’s still more than good enough to hold his own. Nakamura getting wins like this helps, but couldn’t he be beating some bigger names? Was Baron Corbin off getting new hair grease this week? Or was Ziggler too busy cutting the same promo over and over again? At least act like it’s a bigger deal.

Post match Nakamura says he brought AJ out here to show him how the match is going at Wrestlemania. AJ calls that playing games because Wrestlemania is a dream match for him too. His dream match ends a little differently though, like with AJ walking out as the undisputed best in the world. Nakamura laughs and says he’ll win because AJ is too emotional. Shinsuke leaves so Benjamin and Gable jump AJ with Nakamura making the save. Kinshasa is loaded up again but Nakamura stops in time, reaches to AJ’s heart, and puts it in his chest pocket to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m more excited for Wrestlemania tonight than I was coming in and that’s an accomplishment. They added two matches tonight and put someone else in a third, giving us all but Undertaker vs. Cena confirmed. You know, for those of you who need a fourteen match Wrestlemania. The wrestling was passable here, but the storytelling is what matters most and Bryan being back in the ring is all you could have wanted from this show. Good stuff tonight and the road to Wrestlemania is getting shorter and shorter.

Results

Rusev/Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton/Bobby Roode – Machka Kick to Orton

Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Rollup

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day via DQ when the Usos interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Tyler Breeze – Zig Zag

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Shelton Benjamin – Kinshasa

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 23, 2003
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and that means it’s time to get ready for Survivor Series. Thankfully it also means that Stephanie McMahon is gone after having been beaten by her father in an I Quit match. Since that’s going to get some focus tonight, we’ll move on to Brock Lesnar successfully defending the World Title against the Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

And here’s No Mercy as a bonus.

The opening recap features the narration from Sunday’s opening video and some audio from Vince defeating Stephanie when Linda threw in the towel. We need to keep Stephanie strong for the off screen wedding you see.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Sable to open things up. Vince brags about his win and had a lot of fun stomping Stephanie into the ground. We’re celebrating tonight, maybe even like he celebrated with Sable on Sunday. He didn’t spare the rod with Sable because he used it all night long. On Sunday he did what he wanted by leaving Stephanie unemployed and making sure Brock Lesnar remained WWE Champion.

It was Vince who turned the lights out and sent the FBI out before he had to help things out himself. The new rule: don’t cross the boss but do have sex with the man who signs your checks. I’m assuming he’s talking about Sable there but it’s not clear. That brings us to the position of General Manager and it’s not going to be Sable. Vince: “I have some other job positions in mind for you.” No the new General Manager is….Paul Heyman. Vince is REALLY nice about forgiving past grudges.

Cole and Tazz panic but here’s Undertaker to chase Vince and Sable off. Heyman says he’s the only hope that Undertaker has because Vince is never going to help him. Tonight, Undertaker is going to have a match against Brock Lesnar and Big Show. If he can win that, he gets any match he wants. Undertaker promises to make this blow up in Heyman’s face and get his revenge.

This is certainly a change of pace and odds are this is going to get rid of Vince, or at least lower the amount of time he’ll be spending on TV. There’s no need to have two heel authority figures and Heyman can more than hold his own with the talking. Undertaker vs. Lesnar continuing doesn’t do much for me, but Vince vs. Undertaker does even less. Heyman being the new boss is interesting though and he’s certainly an upgrade over Stephanie.

John Cena/A-Train vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says it’s time to shake Kurt’s hand….but that’s a b**** move. He’s about to snatch his thunder back like a five finger discount and people need to get off of his….well you know. Angle headlocks A-Train down to start but some knees in the corner have Kurt down. Cena comes in with a Michinoku Driver (Where has he been keeping that thing?) for two before it’s back to A-Train for a butterfly suplex.

A big German suplex gets Angle out of trouble and it’s off to Benoit for a German suplex of his own. A-Train has to break up the Sharpshooter on Cena as everything breaks down. An Angle Slam drops A-Train and it’s the ankle lock to Cena. A-Train is up way too fast for the save and the limping Cena grabs the chain. Benoit grabs a chair from A-Train but hits Angle by mistake, triggering a fight. Kurt gets caught in the Crossface and the match is thrown out. Why? It shouldn’t be a DQ and the referee didn’t see the chair shot.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but there’s not much you can do with five minutes and getting in an angle at the same time. Benoit vs. Angle could be good, assuming it leads to someone getting a fresh shot at Lesnar. Brock is needing some new challengers right now and Benoit would be a better choice than Angle at the moment.

We look at Tajiri blinding Nidia last week.

Using a webcam, Jamie Noble is serious about fixing Nidia’s sight. All the money he got from his aunt means nothing if she’s not better. If Nidia doesn’t come out of this ok, Tajiri will be paying. Serious Jamie actually worked, despite the thick accent.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are excited about Paul Heyman being back when Heyman comes in. He calls them liars (oh the irony) for not calling after Brock Lesnar took him out. Therefore, the Basham Brothers are getting the Tag Team Title shot instead of Haas and Benjamin. They can have another match and that is next.

Vince and Sable are in a box and wave to the little people.

Video on Stu Hart. This one is narrated by Cole instead of Vince in a nice bit of continuity if you treat Raw and Smackdown as two completely different things.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Rikishi’s first WWE match since June and Scotty’s first since April 2002. Scotty and Haas get things going with a quick takedown allowing Scotty to celebrate. A hiptoss drops Benjamin and we hit the Moonwalk. Benjamin gets in a shot from behind though and it’s time to take over as we wait on the hot tag to Rikishi.

It’s off to a chinlock for a bit before the jump over Charlie and onto Scotty’s back keeps him in trouble. A clothesline gets Scotty over to the corner for the tag and Rikishi cleans house….until Shelton superkicks him down. Everything breaks down and Scotty brings back the Worm to Shelton. Haas gets a Stinkface and Rikishi sits on Shelton’s chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. Uh, yay! I’m not sure who was wanting to see Rikishi and Scotty back but there are worse ideas out there. I’ll take them over a team like Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak on Raw as Rikishi and Scotty at least have some charisma and have been successful at one point. There are worse ideas so I’ll take what I can get.

Dancing ensues post match.

Vince and Sable join in on the dancing but Undertaker breaks into the sky box. After insulting Sable, Undertaker tells Vince to pray that he wins tonight. Otherwise, Undertaker will be back and there won’t be any talking.

Eddie Guerrero is getting treatment for the injuries from Sunday when Chavo comes in and tells him to suck it up. Chavo: “THIS IS FOR GRANDMA!”

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging. A fired up Eddie hammers on Doug in the corner to start before it’s off to Chavo for more of the same. Eddie comes back in with the slingshot hilo as this is completely one sided so far. It’s off to Danny, who has ever worse luck as Chavo snapmares him into the champions’ corner. Shaniqua grabs a foot though and the Bashams take over for the first time. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit before Danny slaps on a full nelson.

Like a nitwit, Doug charges straight at the two of them and gets backdropped. A wristdrag/headscissors combination takes the Bashams down and the hot tag brings in Chavo. Danny gets planted with a running tornado DDT (looked good) as everything breaks down. It’s back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo while Chavo holds Danny in a backbreaker (that’s a new one). Shaniqua offers a distraction and the Bashams switch, allowing Doug to hit Eddie with a nightstick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This screams long term booking to me and there’s nothing wrong with that. Chavo getting on Eddie before the match suggests that the team is being broken up soon and if that means a big Eddie singles run, I’m rather pleased. The Bashams still need to drop Shaniqua but at least they had a few wins to set this up.

Post match Shaniqua says they’re going to, ahem, celebrate.

During the break, Chavo berated Eddie for the loss and walked away from him.

Tajiri vs. Zach Gowen

Non-title. Gowen is wrestling in a shirt this time around, which doesn’t exactly hide the fact that he’s the size of a middle school kid. Tajiri kicks him hard in the shoulder but gets armdragged down into an armbar. A tornado DDT is countered into a spinebuster and we hit the USA chant to annoy Tajiri. Zach avoids a knee drop (with Tajiri adding a high pitched squeal on the way down) and goes up, only to miss his moonsault. Tajiri kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s Gowen’s last match in WWE and I’m not going to miss him. He’s the definition of a novelty act that ran its course and then stuck around even longer. There’s no hiding the fact that most of his offense is built around fluke rollups and moves that wouldn’t do a great deal of damage. Couple that with the constant “this kid has heart” and “he’ll never give up” lines from Cole and the feel good story lost all of its charm in very short order.

Post match Tajiri’s unnamed associates come in and lay Gowen out again on Tajiri’s orders.

Lesnar tells Big Show to follow his lead tonight. That’s fine with Show, who warns Brock that he’ll be coming for the title soon.

Vince and Sable are still in the box.

Bob Holly is coming back after a year off with a neck injury. He’s coming for Lesnar and wants to break his neck. That works very well aside from the being Hardcore Holly part.

Video on Hawk, who passed away earlier in the week.

Undertaker vs. Big Show/Brock Lesnar

This has way more time than it needs so hopefully there’s something after the match. Show starts for the very large team and drives Undertaker into the corner to start. Undertaker takes a rare powder when they both come in at once and it’s already chair time. Lesnar comes in for the shoulders to the ribs (a far too popular move) as Tazz thinks they might be working on Undertaker’s midsection.

A suplex gives Brock two but as usual, Show screws up, this time by running into a big boot. Undertaker goes vintage with the jumping clothesline to both guys in turn but walks into a chokeslam from Show. It’s Lesnar tagging himself in for a delayed two and ordering Show to go up top. The spike piledriver (that sounds like something you wouldn’t see from the 80s) is broken up and Show gets slammed off the top for the pin. Vince is immediately on his feet and here’s Heyman to say that this is 2/3 falls. Therefore it should be 0-0 as Show wasn’t legal but Heyman never cared about rules.

Back from a break with Heyman in his office chair on the stage and Lesnar eating Snake Eyes into the big boot. Somehow the 7’2 500lb Show manages to sneak around the ring for a clothesline but Undertaker knocks him over the barricade. Some right hands to Lesnar are enough for the countout win….but Heyman says there are no countouts. Show chairs him in the back, there are no DQ’s, and we keep going. This time Undertaker gets smart and grabs the chain to knock the both silly for the pin on Lesnar.

Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t Austin vs. Love but it did the job. Above all else here though, was it really necessary to have Undertaker get two pins on the two singles champions, including the new US Champion? I’m getting rather tired of seeing Undertaker against these two but hopefully some fresh blood is on the way. Heyman screwing Undertaker over is fine for now, but having him lose this early on is more interesting. It’s nice to have a boss who gets taken down a peg or two so soon.

Post match Show lays Undertaker out with a chokeslam and Brock adds an F5 into the post. Vince wants to come see this in person so here he comes after a break. With Undertaker rolling up the ramp, Vince screams about how Undertaker will never be WWE Champion. Vince asks what match Undertaker wants with Lesnar so Undertaker says it’ll be at Survivor Series in a Buried Alive match…..against McMahon. As usual, Vince does the cocky to terrified transition better than anyone. This was a good reveal too as there was no reason to think Undertaker wouldn’t pick Lesnar, but going with McMahon makes sense.

Overall Rating: C-. There was some change in here to make the show better (read as a lack of Stephanie) but they’re continuing the stories that are still around as well. Heyman didn’t really get to do much on his first night but he’s a long overdue change in the power structure. Survivor Series is already starting to take shape, though there’s a lot of work left to be done. They’re off to an acceptable start, but there’s a very long way to go yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 20, 2018
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

And then, Daniel Bryan was cleared to medically return to the ring. I’m really not sure what else there is to say here as now we wait to see what this means for Bryan at Wrestlemania. There’s a good chance that he gets the spot in a tag match with Shane McMahon against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn but maybe it’s something else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Daniel Bryan’s retirement in February 2016 in an emotional moment. Then news broke today that Bryan was cleared to return to the ring after FINALLY being medically cleared. I think we have a theme for tonight.

Here’s Bryan to open things up. He needs to address the actions of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens from last week….but they’re not here yet so we need to talk about something else. Bryan talks about being grateful for everything he has, which was the theme of his retirement speech. He has the greatest fans in the world and an amazing, beautiful wife who stood by him the entire way. It was her who told him to keep going to see specialist after specialist to get him back in the ring. Fans: “THANK YOU BRIE!”

Then when he got depressed, he decided to fight and it was Brie who told him to fight for his dreams. Eventually he was told he was cleared and those dreams became a reality. Next, Bryan needs to thank all of the doctors who kept giving him clearances until the WWE doctors finally did the same. Bryan isn’t sure when he’ll be back in the ring so here’s a WRESTLEMANIA chant to give him an idea. No announcement is made but the fans (including myself) are thrilled.

Bryan is looking for Sami and Owens but finds Ziggler, who is rather condescending about the return. Ziggler can’t wait to beat him and Bryan wishes him luck trying.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

AJ Styles is on commentary. They waste no time in trading the hard kicks with Rusev throwing him into the corner and unloading. A spinwheel kick drops Nakamura for two and we take a break. Back with Nakamura firing off kicks, including one to the side of a kneeling Rusev’s head. Rusev gets in a kick to the head of his own for two so Nakamura goes for a cross armbreaker. That’s rolled through but Nakamura grabs the leg for the rollup pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. It’s nice to have Nakamura get a pin but they haven’t exactly put their foot on the gas to get him to Wrestlemania. That and having him win in less than eight minutes with nearly half of that being in a commercial isn’t your traditional build. At least Nakamura is in the ring though and that helps a lot.

Post match Rusev and Aiden English beat Nakamura down and AJ takes his time getting up. Nakamura saves himself and stares down at AJ.

Video on Asuka.

Charlotte is in the back when Natalya comes in to say she knows how scared Charlotte is. A match is set up for later. I know I mention this a lot but Natalya is one of the weakest talkers in the company today. It’s like a bad high school play.

Styles and Nakamura run into each other with AJ mocking him for saying he’ll win. Nakamura says he’ll win with a knee to the face.

Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger

Both are in the Andre battle royal. Dillinger chops away but gets knocked down with one hard shot. Graves buries Dillinger on commentary, asking about why he wastes every opportunity he receives. Corbin slides under the ropes but gets caught with a kick to the face. Back up and Corbin can’t hit End of Days (as in couldn’t pick Dillinger up for it in a nasty looking botch). Instead he sends Dillinger outside and then tries again a few seconds later, this time connecting for the pin at 2:31.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title. Charlotte gets two off an early suplex and a bridging rollup gets the same. The Figure Four necklock rolling flips keep Natalya in trouble and a kick to the chest puts her on the floor. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting out of an abdominal stretch and throwing her over with a t-bone suplex. A big boot looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya crawls into the corner.

That earns her a Downward Spiral into the buckle, only to have Natalya come back with a Batista Bomb out of the corner for a close two. The Sharpshooter is broken up in a hurry so it’s the discus lariat for two on Charlotte instead. They head outside where the spear connects and Charlotte slaps on the Figure Four back inside.

That’s rolled over though and Charlotte lands in the ropes but bends backwards over the apron to really crank on the leg. It’s fine enough to superplex Charlotte down for a big crash….and here’s Carmella! Charlotte is up with a boot to Carmella though, allowing Natalya to roll her up for the pin at 13:09. The cash-in was never official.

Rating: B. These two were beating the heck out of each other and then that stupid briefcase brought me right back down. I’m so sick of the thing hanging over everything because Heaven forbid we don’t do it every single year. Anyway, Charlotte losing doesn’t make sense here as it’s NATALYA of all people. She’s lost to Charlotte time after time but needs to get a pin here? Really?

Jimmy Uso vs. Harper

Rating: D+. This was the right call again as the Usos continue to get closer but still can’t beat the Brothers. Harper and Rowan look like the most awesome monsters in years, but they need to actually announce the match already. We’re two weeks away and the title match still isn’t set. What are they waiting on anymore?

Here are Jinder Mahal and Sunil Singh to talk about Mahal being added to…..ok I give up. As I type this, Mahal is bragging about being added to the match and OH DEAR GOODNESS I DO NOT CARE! It’s the same horrible promo he’s cut every single week about how rich and awesome he is and how he deserves this and I cannot even pretend to care anymore. Roode and Orton come out, they talk a lot, a brawl nearly breaks out but they all stare at each other.

Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Becky Lynch

All four are in the battle royal. Becky gets double teamed in the corner to start and Logan adds a running knee to the face for two. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit before a spinebuster has Lynch in more trouble. She’s fine enough to throw Logan over the top but Ruby Riott tosses her back inside. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Logan tap at 2:35 as Naomi cuts Morgan off.

Bryan is told that Zayn and Owens are here so he’ll meet them in the ring.

Back from a break and Bryan is in the ring to see Owens and Zayn. Owens talks about taking their time getting here but Shane McMahon wasn’t going to be here so it wasn’t a big deal. Then they heard what happened and got over here as soon as they could. They had to get out of a speeding ticket but it was easy because everyone is dumber in Texas. Sami is happy with the news because Bryan has always been their biggest fan.

It’s a classic case of good things happening to good people and any show with the three of them on it is the dream show. It sounds like a dream team, but that’s not why Bryan wanted them out here. Bryan shows a clip of the two of them attacking Shane to end last week’s show, which they find funny. That’s not cool with Bryan but Sami says Shane deserved it. Bryan thinks they don’t get it.

Shane was right: Bryan was living vicariously through the two of them, but last week was more than getting a little carried away. The thing is Sami and Kevin won because Shane agreed that he had gone too far. They had a match set up for Wrestlemania, which was all they had ever wanted. Imagine the three of them being told that at an armory in front of 300 people ten years ago.

They would have had Bryan in his corner to run the show but they still assaulted Shane. Bryan doesn’t get it but he’s been fired from this company twice and grown from it each time. The two of them are fired and are so shocked that they can’t speak. Owens goes to leave but decks Bryan, followed by some screaming that Bryan did this.

Bryan fights back with kicks in the corner and a snap German suplex to Sami, followed by the running corner dropkicks. Referees come out as Owens takes the YES Kicks but Sami gets back up for the save. Bryan eats a Helluva Kick and the apron powerbomb makes things even worse to end the show.

Well that worked. This gives you a logical path to the tag match (Sami and Kevin have changed from the men Bryan knew years ago and the attack on Shane was unnecessary) and gives Sami and Kevin a ton of heat at the same time. It’s a good angle, but more than that it’s bizarre to see Bryan taking bumps after two years of just talking. Good segment though and I’m excited for the match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did what it needed to do as it advanced a bunch of stories towards Wrestlemania. As mentioned though, there’s a lot of stuff you can pencil in but it’s high time to bust out the ink. Bryan being back is a huge deal, but there’s other stuff that needs to be done and WWE is dragging its feet like crazy right now. I don’t get it, but they need to get on with it already.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Rusev – Rollup

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days

Natalya b. Charlotte – Rollup

Harper b. Jimmy Uso – Discus Lariat

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan – Disarm-Her to Morgan

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 16, 2003
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and….yeah I’m having some issues getting fired up for this one. The battling McMahons are out of control at this point and hopefully it ends on Sunday. Other than that, maybe we can find out what a Biker Chain match is because no one but Undertaker seemed to know last week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Earlier today, Stephanie gave a sitdown interview talking about how sad she was to not be on the show tonight when it could be her last night. Vince is mean you see.

Opening sequence.

Cole: “Tonight! A powerful, emotional interview with STEPHANIE MCMAHON!” Yes that’s really what they’re leading with tonight.

Here’s Kurt Angle to John Cena’s music and in Cena gear. Angle: “Yo yo yo yo kill the beat.” Kurt, speaking as Cena, rhymes about winning the battle rap and various gay jokes. Naturally Cole and Tazz find this HILARIOUS, though Angle doing Cena’s mannerisms actually is funny. The challenge is issued and Angle explains the joke of the rap, including holding the mic in the air so the crowd could finish the joke.

Angle’s music hits….and here’s a mini Angle. Ah ok so it’s comedy time. Again: Cole and Tazz are in stitches over this. Angle calls the mini version half the man that he is and does you can’t see me. Cole: “I love that.” Mini Kurt takes the mic and calls Cena (as in Kurt) a wiener, sending big Angle out to the floor. Back in and Mini Kurt gets an ankle lock so Big Kurt has to tap. This brings out the real Cena but Mini Kurt hits him low, allowing the real one to hit the Angle Slam. Much longer than it needed to be and the jokes weren’t exactly funny. Kurt was of course, but that’s the case almost every time.

Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham

No Shaniqua in sight and suddenly I’m taking the Bashams much more seriously. Doug tries to go technical for some reason and has to bail out of a Crossface attempt. A hard whip into the corner has Doug in more trouble and Benoit sends him outside, only to miss a dive. Back in and Doug stays on the neck with some legdrops and a hard drop onto the buckle. A top rope legdrop misses though and it’s time for the comeback. Danny throws a chair in but Benoit dropkicks it into Doug’s face, only to have Twin Magic cause the Swan Dive to miss. Not that it matters as the Crossface is good for the win.

Rating: C. It really is amazing how much better the Bashams are with no Shaniqua out there. It’s a dumb gimmick for a team that isn’t very good in the first place so how good can they be? Benoit beating them both is fine as it’s not like the team has any value at this point anyway. Just keep Shaniqua away and they can get better.

Post match A-Train comes in to take Benoit out until referees break it up.

Another clip of the Stephanie interview shows her crying over Vince attacking her. Good grief after everything he did to her in 1999 this is tame.

It’s time for the full interview with Cole thanking her for taking the time, because Stephanie is so opposed to being on camera. She talks about Vince wanting to take away her opportunity to thank the Smackdown fans and locker room for their support. Who actually supports Stephanie? Cole: “Is the McMahon Family normal?”

As I try to get the image of Cole dressed like Oprah out of my head, Stephanie says this is the only family she’s known. Stephanie: “I love this business. It’s the business that my father, my grandfather and my great grandfather created.” Cole wants to focus on Stephanie for a second. THEN WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING FOR THE WHOLE INTERVIEW??? After Stephanie says some would consider Vince to be wrestling, it’s time to talk about how awesome Linda is as a mom.

As for Stephanie, yeah she was spoiled as a child but she wasn’t handed her job. There’s definitely some of Vince in her (not as much as he’d probably like) but she wants to be different than him. Stephanie starts crying because she never thought it would come to this. She goes into the story of being clotheslined and slammed, making it sound like the most devastating thing in the world. If the match happens, Vince won’t walk her down the aisle or get to see his grandchildren. After all of this though, she still loves her dad but doesn’t like him. That’s enough for her as she walks out in tears.

This wasn’t so much terrible as much as it was…..stupid. Ignoring all of the history between the two of them, the fact that Stephanie is freaking out and acting like her world has been shattered because someone DARED to lay a finger on her is laughable. She’s destroyed because Vince McMahon, the guy who allowed Undertaker to kidnap her and attempt to marry her in a black wedding ceremony for the sake of getting the WWF Title off of Steve Austin, slammed her?

This is after she talked about getting whatever she wanted as a child because she’s the son of a billionaire. This is the character we’re supposed to sympathize with and support? All because she doesn’t want to quit the job that she was handed (by her father of course) because she’s a big girl and can handle herself after being on the job for all of sixteen months?

The acting was laughably bad too but above all else, it was how over the top serious Stephanie treated this. I get that it’s a dramatic story but given the history between the two, a slam and a clothesline aren’t exactly worth getting upset about. Just a dumb segment here that you can’t take seriously if you’re above about eight years old.

Back in the arena, Tazz takes his glasses off as he and Cole talk about this in the most serious terms.

Jamie Noble and Nidia are talking Vince and Stephanie with Nidia taking her side. Jamie agrees because this place would be better without Vince. Tajiri overhears and runs off to tell Vince. As a result, Jamie has to face Tajiri tonight. So now, not only is Vince vs. Stephanie dominating the show, but a champion is being put in a match over whose side he’s on in the feud.

Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Non-title. Jamie starts in on the arm as Tazz wonders why he’s not going after the leg to weaken the kicks. Well no one ever accused Jamie of being smart. That’s enough analysis so let’s talk about what kind of a mood Stephanie must be in. Tajiri starts in on the leg but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down. A powerslam gets two on Tajiri with Cole thinking Jamie wants to stick it to Vince. Tajiri’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana over the top so Tajiri goes after the title. Nidia pulls it away, only to have the black mist go into her eyes. She freaks out so badly that the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. And this is why the cruiserweights mean as little as they do. Tajiri is the Cruiserweight Champion and coming up on a major title defense but instead of talking about that, it’s about whether or not Jamie Noble wants to show up Vince. Not only does that not make sense, but it’s the best they can do with the Cruiserweight Champion. All for the sake of pushing Stephanie vs. Vince. Nice job guys.

Nidia gets her eyes cleaned out so Jamie calls Tajiri back to the ring for a fight. There’s no Tajiri so Jamie goes up the ramp….and gets mauled by Brock Lesnar. That’s your treatment for acting serious for a change. Jamie gets laid out with an F5 on the floor and Brock sneers at him.

If that’s not enough, here are Vince and Sable to congratulate Brock on his handiwork. Vince calls what Stephanie did earlier a performance but it’s true that she hates him. Stephanie stopped loving him a long time ago but Vince understands the meaning of true love. He loves Stephanie so much that he’ll hurt her on Sunday. At No Mercy, he won’t be sparing the rod with his daughter.

As for the fans, they want to be like Vince but aren’t willing to work for it. They would rather win the lottery while Vince reached down and took what was his. Stephanie has the same chance of winning as people here do of winning the lottery. He’s been asked what he’ll do to Stephanie and the thought scared him. May God have mercy on Stephanie’s soul because Vince certainly won’t.

Sable is proud to be in Vince’s corner and proud to stand by him. Linda has forgotten what it takes to satisfy a genuine American icon and OH MY GOODNESS GET ON WITH IT ALREADY! She brags about being able to satisfy every sexual craving Vince has before kissing him to wrap things up.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen a story this insufferable. We’re over an hour into this show and well over half of that time has been spent on this one story. I’m sure Vince and Stephanie think this is the greatest thing ever but I don’t think I want to know who else finds this nonsense interesting. Now please, talk about ANYTHING else for the rest of the show.

Video on a European tour.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno

Non-title, which Cole emphasizes at least twice, along with saying what a big chance it is for Rhyno. A test of strength has Eddie in early trouble and his comeback is cut off by a clothesline. There’s a good looking spinebuster (Rhyno was always good at those) for two and a gorilla press gutbuster for the same as Rhyno stays on the ribs. For some reason Rhyno goes for one of the titles and gets caught with a dropkick for his efforts. The rolling vertical suplexes put Rhyno down but the frog splash hits knees. Tazz: “Rhyno hitting possum! How can a rhino be a possum?”

Back from a break with Eddie caught in a Sharpshooter for a long time until he fights up and grabs the leg for the escape. It’s time for the comeback with Eddie hitting a jumping leg lariat and a slingshot hilo but the bad back slows him down. That’s how you keep a story going through a match and Eddie is as good as anyone at selling the thing.

Rhyno catches him on top and hits a superplex but Eddie is right back up with a super hurricanrana for two of his own. A toss sends Eddie outside though and he unhooks his boot. Instead of an injury though, Eddie steals the ring bell hammer and loads it into his boot. Back in and a quick ref bump allows Eddie to throw Rhyno the hammer. That and a boot shot to the head are enough for the pin.

Rating: B. The rib work was good (setting up the Gore throughout the match) and as usual, Eddie was in a pure showcase here with more brilliance. He’s the best thing in WWE right now and it’s turned into a treat to watch him. This was a lot of fun and just a great example of how to turn something that shouldn’t have mattered into a good match.

Post match here’s Big Show with a pipe to destroy both Eddie and the low rider. Eddie’s back is cut up by the glass and a powerbomb onto the hood makes it a lot worse. Show isn’t done and chokeslams him onto the top of the truck. Good segment, but they lost me with the burritos and sewage.

Rey Mysterio vs. Johnny Stamboli

Just be glad that Rey isn’t a Vince fan to balance things out. Palumbo and Nunzio are sent to the back so Rey can headscissor Stamboli down in peace. A backbreaker cuts Rey off and we’re in a chinlock less than a minute in. Rey gets tied in the Tree of Woe but s still able to pull himself up to avoid a charge into the post. Another backbreaker cuts Rey down as Stamboli is still looking for the offense to go with looking like a shrunken A-Train. Stamboli hits a third backbreaker (come on already) but his gorilla press is countered into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D. Was Stamboli the last person in catering? They couldn’t trot Shannon Moore out there for this match instead? Rey and the Cruiserweight Title are being sent to the back burner here and it’s getting sad at this point. Mysterio deserves better than this but for some reason Ultimate Dragon is sitting on the sidelines. Such is life in WWE.

Matt Hardy gives Shannon Moore a framed picture when Jon Heidenreich comes in. He asks Matt to give his highlight tape to Stephanie, but Matt says she won’t be GM much longer. Matt promises to take care of it and throws the tape away after Heidenreich leaves.

PPV rundown. It’s not bad until you get to the real main event.

Undertaker is in the back and explains the Biker Chain match: it’s a chain on a pole match, which is the oldest form of combat known to man. He’s more ready to be champion than ever before….and now let’s talk about Stephanie! Undertaker hopes otherwise but thinks it’s going to be a long night for our lovely boss. Cue Lesnar with some chain shots before wrapping it around Undertaker’s neck and dragging him away.

Back with Lesnar dragging him to the ring and Undertaker getting in some right hands. That earns him a whip into the steps and more choking from Brock. Undertaker gets choked over the corner but manages to kick Lesnar in the face. They get in and an F5 is countered with Undertaker choking a swell. Brock hits him low but gets caught in a very high chokeslam. The threat of another chain show sends Lesnar bailing to end the show. The match’s gimmick is a mess but this was at least a nice brawl to set it up.

Overall Rating: D. They did a nice job of setting up No Mercy but there’s no way around all the McMahon stuff. It’s weighing everything down and making the show almost unwatchable. Stephanie is suddenly a horribly abused woman who is just fighting the good fight and standing on her own two feet. It’s not good, it’s not well written, it’s not well acted and it’s not worth watching.

The rest of the show was actually pretty good from a storytelling perspective, though the wrestling was hit and miss. I do kind of want to see the pay per view but I want to get through that Vince vs. Stephanie match as fast as I can. The problem is that story dominates the show and until it’s over, there’s no way to make this show good.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6