Smackdown – July 3, 2003: Why Is This A Theme?

Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2003
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Believe it or not, tonight is going to be focused on Stephanie McMahon, who is still trying to save Zach Gowen from her dad or whatever it is this time. Therefore, tonight it’s Gowen/Stephanie against Big Show for Gowen’s contract because that’s what this show is looking for. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Vince vs. Gowen, including Vince trying to make Gowen join his club last week. Last week’s six man main event is included, which set up tonight’s handicap match.

Vince, in a creepy closeup, says he’s ready to close the fate of Mr. America. After that, he’ll see Stephanie and Gowen crushed in the first ever true handicap match.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Nunzio

Nunzio is challenging and Billy Kidman is in the crowd again. I know facing Undertaker is supposed to be a rub but is getting squashed by him for weeks really worth a title shot? The other Italians are sent to the back to start. Are you sure that getting rid of those two bumbling nitwits doesn’t make this harder for Rey? The champ spins out of a wristlock to start and sends Nunzio outside for a big flip dive.

Back in and Nunzio dropkicks him out of the air for two, setting up a double arm crank. A chinlock keeps Rey in trouble until a headscissors gives him a breather. The springboard seated senton gets two and a hurricanrana takes both of them out to the floor in a crash. Cue the Italians to take Mysterio out but Nunzio can only get two. The APA comes out to dispatch Stamboli and Palumbo, leaving Rey to hit the 619 and Drop the Dime to retain.

Rating: C+. They were starting to roll here until the interference, but at least Rey still won clean. I’m still trying to figure out what the point is in having the FBI around and getting this kind of a push, though at least they’re not winning anything. Mysterio needs a good challenger and it seems that they’re already preparing for that issue. Good little match here.

Kidman comes in and congratulates Mysterio.

Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle (with milk) are sitting in catering and get in a friendly argument over who a woman meant when she said “hi champ”. Angle says he’ll get the title back at Vengeance so Brock tells him to drink his milk. Kurt flirts with the woman until Brock slaps him on the back, causing him to spit milk on her. Comedy ensues.

Basham Brothers vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

Before the match, Shaniqua gives the Brothers a quick whipping with the riding crop. It’s a brawl to start with the Bashams actually taking over early on. Danny hammers on Rhyno and scores with an enziguri. Some hard crossface shots set up a cravate but it’s already time for heel miscommunication. The hot tag brings Benoit in but Danny breaks up the rolling German suplexes. The release version works a bit better though, setting up the Swan Dive for a delayed two. It’s a Gore to Doug and the Crossface makes Danny tap.

Rating: D+. So the tag division is just a step above dead in the water with two teams, let’s have a potentially good team job most of the time while making them look stupid with the whole spanking things. Shaniqua doesn’t need to be there but she was on Tough Enough so they have to get something out of her right? Also didn’t Benoit and Rhyno break up twice already?

Shaniqua looks at Benoit post match. Run away Chris.

Vince is in his office and using pencils to play his desk like a drum. That’s one of the oddest visuals I’ve seen in a long time. Stephanie comes in and says she’s a woman and shouldn’t be put into this situation. Vince says spare the rod and spoil the child, but Stephanie says she’s not a child in a voice that makes her sound about three years old. He doesn’t care and she cowers away. How long is this stupid story going to go on?

Post break Sable annoys Stephanie and says she’ll take care of things if Stephanie is put on the shelf.

Jamie Noble and Nidia, fresh off getting $827 thousand, have a limo, sunglasses and a fur coat. Noble tips the driver and then takes the money back.

Undertaker critiques Orlando Jordan’s boxing and explains paying dues. Jordan needs to challenge people like John Cena if he wants to earn respect. Cena comes up to ask where Undertaker has been since he gave Cena respect last year. He calls himself a veteran now and tells Undertaker to stay out of his business. You can guess Undertaker’s reaction.

US Title Tournament First Round: Billy Gunn vs. John Cena

Side note: we’re about forty five minutes into this show. So far we’ve had a recap of Vince lowering his pants last week, Shaniqua spanking the Bashams, Jamie spanking Nidia when she got the coat out of the limo and you know Gunn’s theme song. Why is that their best available theme? Cena makes gay jokes and demands respect. Gunn gives chase to start and stomps away in the corner as Cole tries to make us care about Billy again. Cena bails to the floor as the fans are cheering him for one of the first times ever.

A whip into the post has Billy in trouble and it’s time for the chinlock. Cena kicks him down for two as Cole tries to connect this US Title’s lineage to the one from the mid 1970s. I know that’s the case but it’s also quite the stretch. Billy finally escapes with a powerslam but walks into the Throwback (named for the first time here). That’s only good for two so it’s time to grab the chain. Cue Undertaker on the motorcycle for a distraction though, allowing Billy to get a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. Undertaker vs. Cena should be entertaining but this Gunn stuff is getting more and more annoying every single week. He’s the same guy with the same song that hasn’t worked in a very long time but now we’re supposed to buy him as a serious act. Oh and that Torrie has a thing for him. It does show you what being tall can get for you in a career.

Lesnar and Angle continue to act like frat boys and decide to have a pushup contest. Brock does 301 first (with a commercial in between) as I’m more curious about who can be seen just off camera watching this whole thing. With Lesnar finished, Angle declares him the winner and walks off. Eh funny ending, but who looks at Lesnar and Angle and thinks they need to do a buddy comedy?

Tag Team Titles: Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Eddie and Tajiri are defending. Tajiri headlocks Haas down to start before switching over to a hammerlock. Eddie takes over on Benjamin’s arm as they’re certainly moving to start. An armdrag/headscissors combination takes both challengers down and the Eddie chants begin. As they should to be fair. Haas gets in a backbreaker for a breather as Tazz keeps ripping on Cole for calling this fun.

Eddie suplexes his way to freedom in short order and it’s back to Tajiri for the rapid fire kicks. A hurricanrana is broken up so Haas muscles Tajiri up, allowing Shelton to springboard in for a clothesline/powerbomb combination. Sweet move there but ti’s only good for two more.

Back from a break with Tajiri caught in an abdominal stretch with the challengers doing the switch when the referee wasn’t looking. The referee ACTUALLY NOTICES and brings Benjamin back in….to take Tajiri down again. Well that felt like a waste of a spot. Haas hammers away on Tajiri, followed by Shelton jumping over Charlie onto Tajiri’s back. Tajiri slips out of what looked to be a powerbomb and kicks Shelton in the back of the head (loud one too).

That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie and the rolling suplexes have Haas in trouble. The frog splash is broken up but Tajiri takes Shelton down with the handspring elbow. Eddie gets sent outside so Tajiri starts in with more kicks, followed by the Tarantula to Haas. Shelton avoids a frog splash though and Tajiri gets kicked off the apron, onto the hood of the low rider. Back in and the atomic drop with a superkick to Eddie’s chest gives Charlie the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. These four have some solid chemistry together and it’s nice to see Charlie and Shelton get the belts back. They were a really strong team when they got the belts and while the feud with Eddie and Chavo/Tajiri did them a lot of good, they probably should have held the belts throughout. Eddie didn’t seem happy with Tajiri for being knocked onto the car and there’s a good chance they’re going to have an issue because of it.

Gowen is stretching in the back when Big Show comes in to step on the leg. Tonight, he’s going after Gowen’s legs. It didn’t work for the Executioner at Wrestlemania I and I doubt it works for Big Show tonight.

Back from a break with Tajiri still on the hood and Eddie looking dejected. Eddie goes over to check on him….but he really just wants to check on the car.

Video on Mr. America. Stephanie saying she signed him sight unseen triggers my memories of how ridiculous so much of this story was and it’s even worse when I realize that Vince vs. Stephanie is continuing.

Eddie is STILL looking at the car and Tajiri is still down behind him. It’s finally too much for Eddie and he snaps, sending Tajiri into the hood (which won’t help the paint) and then dropping him through the windshield for a great looking crash.

Orlando Jordan vs. A-Train

Jordan’s dropkick has no effect and A-Train launches him into the corner for a beating. A splash to the back has Jordan in even more trouble and it’s off to the reverse full nelson (kind of like a Gory Special but pulling on the arms instead of the face). An enziguri knocks A-Train into the corner but the Derailer gets two. Jordan’s high crossbody only hits mat and the Train Wreck gives A-Train the pin.

Rating: D. I know what they’re going for with Jordan but there’s only so much you can get out of someone so average. History hasn’t exactly been kind to Jordan but then you watch a match like this and you understand why. There’s nothing special about him, be it his look, his work or his personality. Just having him out there as a guy in trunks isn’t going to do him any good and kicking out of the Derailer isn’t enough to change that.

Show tries to intimidate Stephanie and even twirls her hair around. There are, ahem, other ways he’d like to hurt her. Show walks away and runs into Vince and Sable, the former of whom has an announcement regarding Mr. America.

Wrestlemania Recall: Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man from Wrestlemania III. Was Alice Cooper being around that big of a deal? The post match stuff with Alice throwing the snake onto Jimmy Hart was good but it’s not that good.

Here are Vince and Sable for the announcement. Vince recaps the Mr. America story and knows that it was Hulk Hogan under the mask. If Vince could prove that, Hogan was gone for good. That brings us to last week’s Smackdown where Vince thought something might be up.

Vince told the cameramen to keep recording, which captured Mr. America lifting his mask to reveal Hogan and telling everyone to keep it quiet. Therefore, Hogan is FIRED (he had quit earlier in the week due to creative differences, which likely means he wanted the title and wasn’t getting it) and gone for good. Or at least the better part of two years. It’s kind of a lame ending but at least they wrapped it up with a storyline explanation.

As for tonight, Zach Gowen is in a handicap match against Big Show. That’s not good enough though, because it’s going to be no holds barred. As a bonus for Big Show, he’s being added to the Smackdown World Title match at Vengeance to make it a triple threat. I’m so thrilled by all of this.

Stephanie McMahon/Zach Gowen vs. Big Show

Anything goes. Why do I have a feeling this was due to Stephanie thinking she needed to show off how good shape she was in? Gowen’s early offense has as much effect as you would expect and Show shoves him outside. Stephanie jumps on Show’s back and let’s hear that screeching! Show flips her down and grabs Gowen’s (detached) prosthetic leg. A dropkick doesn’t hurt Show, who catches a diving Gowen and throws him back inside.

Stephanie gets thrown inside as well but for some reason Vince won’t let Show chokeslam her. Gowen comes in for the save and takes the chokeslam instead. Stephanie gets in her big moment with the slap to Vince but Angle comes out to save her from another chokeslam. A Vince chair shot breaks up the ankle lock so here’s Lesnar for a save of his own. The Angle Slam and an F5 set up Gowen’s moonsault for the pin and the contract.

Rating: D-. Lesnar’s F5 looked good and that’s about it for this one. The match was a glorified segment of course and while it advances the story, that doesn’t make it any more interesting. This Stephanie standing up to her father and using Gowen to fight the battle for him isn’t good and other than the McMahons, I’m not sure who thinks it’s the best way to go. Throwing Big Show into the World Title match takes away a lot of the interest I had in seeing Lesnar vs. Angle II, but it’s time for Big Show’s annual push, whether we like it or not.

Overall Rating: D. There were good parts to this show but the big story is so dull and lifeless that it’s dragging things down. The story is far from the worst thing they’ve ever done (it’s not even the worst thing Stephanie has done this year) but it’s a bunch of people I don’t care about doing a bunch of stuff that has been done in a better version before. Gowen is a case where once you see his stuff once, the interest goes away in a hurry. Now he’s involved in the top story on the show, which is likely going to go on for months because that’s how the McMahons work.

There’s still good stuff on the show though, such as Cena vs. Undertaker (which has potential), Eddie’s heel turn after a really good match, the former Team Angle back on top of the division and Rey as Cruiserweight Champion. As usual though, the problem comes down to the McMahons dominating the show with their stupid issues and Stephanie’s bad acting. Just don’t let her talk or interact with Vince and this show gets a lot better in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – November 28, 2017: Welcome To My House

Smackdown
Date: November 28, 2017
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re still in the fallout period from Survivor Series and that means it’s still Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. However, the big question continues to be Daniel Bryan, who seems to be leaning a bit more towards the villains, which could make for quite the power struggle down the line. Let’s get to it.

Of note: I was in the arena for this show, meaning it’s the second time I’ve seen it.

We open with a recap of Owens and Zayn vs. Shane, with Bryan holding Shane up from firing them. Instead, he put the two of them in a lumberjack match against New Day, which Sami won off a quick rollup. As a result, Bryan made Owens vs. Randy Orton for tonight. For some reason Shane left the arena halfway through the show, leaving Bryan in charge for the night.

Here’s Shane to get things going. After sucking up to the Lexington fans (works for me), Shane recaps everything we just saw in the recap. Therefore, he’d like an explanation straight from the horse’s mouth. As Bryan makes his entrance, I try to figure out why he didn’t just say the goat’s mouth.

The fans go bananas for Bryan, who talks about having been fired a few times. Therefore, he believes in second chances, including some for Owens and Zayn. Shane actually agrees with him, but recaps all the issues that Owens and Zayn who have caused him over the last few months. Bryan thinks they were doing it in the name of competition but points out that if they’re fired, they’ll just wind up on Raw. Shane: “Great. Then they’ll be my sister’s problem.”

That’s not cool with Bryan, who thinks they should make the best of it here on Smackdown. Shane left him in charge last week so Shane has to trust Bryan when he’s left in charge. As for tonight though, Shane is going to adjust the Orton vs. Owens match. Therefore, we’ll have Sami Zayn barred from ringside and we’ll make it No DQ.

Post break, Owens and Zayn run into Bryan and ask for some mercy. That turns into a demand, which doesn’t sit well with the boss.

New Day vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

The Usos are on commentary and New Day brings out pancakes for everyone. Eh Wrestling Revolver already did it. Xavier and Chad start things off as the fans are firmly behind New Day. Kofi comes in for a running kick to the ribs and something like a bottom rope Vader Bomb for two. It’s off to Shelton as we take a quick break.

Back with Woods hitting a jawbreaker but not being able to get away from Benjamin. A belly to back suplex/top rope knee to the head combo (that’s a new one) gets two on Woods. Chad can’t quite hit a belly to belly superplex though and it’s a missile dropkick to put him down (like he was shot). The hot tag brings in Kofi as things speed up in a hurry. Kofi flips out of a monkey flip and there’s the Boom Drop. Gable gets low bridged to the floor so Woods can hit a good looking flip dive. Back in and a backbreaker/top rope stomp to the face gives Woods the pin at 8:40.

Rating: B-. They had some good looking double team moves here (that knee to the head looked great) but it just makes me wish it was New Day vs. American Alpha instead. Like really, has there been much of a worse split in recent memory? Either way, it was an entertaining match, even if the Usos are REALLY needing some fresh competition. Maybe some Brothers of the Bludgeoning variety?

We look back at Ruby Riot/Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan debuting last week.

Charlotte, Naomi and Natalya are ready to face the newcomers in a six woman tag later. Charlotte and Naomi are together but Natalya thinks she’ll be the boss. The only thing I could think of during this whole thing: NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS. It was the most forced, scripted conversation I’ve heard in WWE in a long time and it really shows how they’re horrible actresses. Do you really not trust them to have a simple conversation?

Bludgeon Brothers vs. Hype Bros

The Brothers deck Rawley off the apron and a spinning Boss Man Slam plants Ryder. The double spinebuster ends Zack at 45 seconds.

Post match Ryder says they were top contenders for the Tag Team Titles a year ago. Now things have changed though and….Rawley decks him from behind to end the team.

Post break, Mojo says Ryder was right: the landscape has changed.

We look back at Baron Corbin decking Bobby Roode during the lumberjack match.

Roode wants a shot at Corbin’s US Title but Corbin laughs him off with a no.

Singh Brothers vs. AJ Styles

Before the match, Jinder Mahal attacks AJ, sending him ribs first into the post. After a break (and Mahal doing his standard promo), the match is on with AJ getting double teamed. The Brothers get in some shoulders to the ribs in the corner but AJ kicks them away without much effort. AJ knocks the two off them off the top, kicks Mahal in the face, and blocks a super hurricanrana attempt. He’s not done yet though as it’s a SUPER STYLES CLASH with one Singh landing on the other for the easy pin at 3:56.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much to see but it was exactly what it needed to be, especially with an awesome ending like that. Really, what else was AJ supposed to do against a couple of goons like this? Styles vs. Mahal isn’t an interesting story but at least Mahal has goons to send out there instead of having us watch the same match over and over.

Post match Mahal lays out the Singh’s, including a TERRIBLE looking Khallas to the second one. The guy’s head and back never came close to the mat as he basically bounced off his elbow (it looked even worse in slow motion). As I’ve said many times: Mahal just isn’t very good and that finisher makes things even worse.

Riot, Morgan and Logan are officially dubbed the Riot Squad. They’re not here to be Total Divas but rather to turn the division on its head. Logan says she’s a country girl from a family of hunters. Last week they set a trap and tonight they’re bagging some trophies. The country accent was absolutely dreadful and the fans around me were groaning after she was done.

Charlotte/Natalya/Naomi vs. Riott Squad

Yes Riott and no I don’t know why. During Charlotte’s entrance we see clips from Starrcade, WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN FREAKING BROADCAST ON THE NETWORK! Logan takes Natalya into the corner to start and scores with a clothesline. It’s off to Charlotte but that’s enough for Natalya, who walks out on the match less than a minute in. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting off the trio but getting caught by the numbers game on the floor. Morgan gets two off a floatover suplex and it’s off to Ruby for a chinlock. That leaves the other two Squad members to take Naomi down on the floor.

They send her hard into the steps and then bridge them over the barricade, catapulting Naomi face first into the steel. The best the referee can do is glare at them, making me wonder HOW IN THE WORLD THIS ISN’T A DQ. Seriously do they need to break out a pair of nunchuks and beat the stuffing out of Naomi before the match is called off? So it’s now three on one with Charlotte actually managing to fight them off for a bit. A spear hits Morgan in those impressive abs but Logan hits a knee from the apron, setting up the Riot Kick to the face for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: D+. The beatdown was impressive enough though none of them seemed capable of hanging with Charlotte or Naomi on their own. That already puts them a few steps back of Absolution (I can feel my brain melting as I write these names over and over) but at least they’re looking a bit more polished than people like Mandy Rose. Not a great match or anything but the divide and conquer strategy worked just fine.

Randy Orton has nothing to say. What is up with that growing hair?

It’s Fashion Files time, featuring a Saw theme this week. Breezango and Ascension wake up chained in a shower when a video pops up on a tablet. A Jigsaw style voice says that to escape this room, they must destroy what they love most. They have a minute before a poisonous gas fills the room and a countdown begins.

There’s a backpack in the middle of the room containing Tully the Horse’s head. Konnor finally rips it apart to find the key, allowing Breezango to escape in time. Fandango comes running back….to get his hat, leaving Ascension to die I guess as the gas fills the room. Wouldn’t Breezango leaving the door open help them a bit? To be continued of course.

Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton

No DQ with Sami Zayn banned from ringside. The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing outside in the first few seconds but Orton is right on his trails. Randy starts loading up the announcers’ table but stops to send Owens into the barricade instead. A kendo stick to the arm has Owens swearing and a second shot makes him swear all over again. The slow beating continues with Owens being belly to back suplexed onto the barricade.

The fans want tables but settle for Owens posting Orton instead. A fall away slam into the barricade takes us to a break with Orton in big trouble. Back with Owens still swinging the cane and getting two off the backsplash. More stick shots continue to show that weapons based fighting is becoming a lost art in WWE. A DDT gives Owens two but Orton is right back up and catching him with a top rope superplex. It’s a great crash but only good for two.

They head outside again with Owens getting dropped onto the barricade again. The brawl heads up to the stage….meaning Sami Zayn can come out with a chair to take Orton out. See, it’s not at ringside so the one illegal thing is now legal. That’s stretching pretty hard people. Back in and Owens gets caught in the hanging DDT, only to escape the RKO. A superkick into a frog splash puts Orton away at 16:47.

Rating: C+. Rather than being a match where it felt like they were out for blood, it felt more like how many times can we hit each other with a kendo stick and throw each other into the barricade. The Sami interference didn’t do anything for me, though I was betting on them heading to the back and having him interfere there. It’s still good but I could have gone for something different to mix things up a bit.

Overall Rating: B-. Smackdown is in a weird place at the moment as they have some big stuff coming up, though I have absolutely no idea what in the world they’re planning for Owens and Zayn at Clash of Champions. I mean, are we heading for Orton/someone likely named Shane McMahon facing the two of them? Or are they going to do the common thing and have them win the Tag Team Titles? In theory Bryan is going to turn and join them, even if it makes no sense to get people to boo him.

There are actually some interesting stories going on around here for a change but I have a bad feeling it’s going to end with Shane wrestling again, getting most of the attention, and giving someone a rub that he doesn’t have to give. Tonight’s show was entertaining at times though and has me wanting to know what comes next. However, it also has me wondering how long they can pretend that Shane is the good guy in this whole thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – June 26, 2003: Old Guys Out

Smackdown
Date: June 26, 2003
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

We’re back in the World’s Most Famous Arena with the blue show, including a likely six man tag after the end of last week’s show. Odds are we’re looking at Brock Lesnar/Kurt Angle/Mr. America vs. Big Show/Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas, which offers some interesting combinations. Of course it also offers Mr. America wrestling and that might not be the best thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Zack Gowan/Sable/Vince McMahon/Stephanie McMahon issues, including Sable humiliating Gowan to Vince’s amusement and Stephanie going on a rant about how her father treated her like garbage. In other words, it’s still all about Vince and Stephanie.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to brag about how awesome his rookie year has been. Eh it’s been good, but when you’re in the same class as Brock Lesnar, it’s not much to brag about. However, none of it would have started without answering an open challenge. Let’s have another open challenge right now.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Josh Matthews is ring announcer for some reason. Cena laughs this off and insults New York but Jordan takes him down to start fast. A belly to belly suplex gives Jordan two but Cena plants him with a release spinebuster. The FU is countered with Jordan landing on his feet and coming back with a dropkick. Jordan goes up for a high crossbody but Cena rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Undertaker comes out and chases Cena off before giving Jordan the respect pat on the ribs. I’m not sure this one is going to work as well.

Undertaker/APA vs. FBI

And you know Undertaker needs help with this one. Palumbo headlocks Undertaker to start but it’s already off to the arm cranking. A kick to the face just annoys Undertaker and there’s Old School. The Italians take over in the corner with Nunzio dropkicking him in the face but easily allowing the hot tag off to Faarooq.

Palumbo gets in a cheap shot and it’s Faarooq giving the FBI their false hope for a bit. We hit a reverse chinlock until Palumbo crotches himself on Faarooq’s knee. The hot tag (minus the fans reacting) brings in Bradshaw to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a chokeslam for Palumbo, followed by the Clothesline From Bradshaw for the pin on Stamboli.

Rating: D. I’m not even sure what to say here. Undertaker regularly beat up all three Italians and now we’re supposed to be impressed or interested when two other big brawlers beat them up too? The match was a glorified squash with the minute or so of Faarooq being in trouble not exactly making this thrilling. Can we please find something else for Undertaker to do now?

Jamie Noble and Nidia annoy some fans on the streets of New York when an attorney comes up. Apparently Jamie’s aunt died and left him $827,000. I’ll ignore the questions about how the attorney knew they were there or why he did such official business on the streets, or at least in a parking lot. Nidia tries to take the attorney’s pants off but they decide to go to a fancy dinner at Applebee’s instead.

Wrestlemania Recall: the first edition.

Sable tries to make up for last week to Vince but he turns her down. He has something to do tonight.

US Title Tournament First Round: Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi

No one with Matt, who has better abs than Rikishi, this week. Matt is also officially out of the cruiserweight division so the experiment is over. Rikishi shoves him over to start and Matt already has to bail from the threat of a Stink Face. A posting lets Matt crank on both of Rikishi’s arms, which is about the extent of the offense.

Rikishi plants him with a belly to belly suplex and the Rikishi Driver knocks Matt silly. It doesn’t knock him out for three though, which is a rather questionable kickout when Hardy’s head bounced off the mat. The Rump Shaker hits raised knees though and the Twist of Fate gets two. Matt takes off a turnbuckle, avoids a charge into said buckle, and hits a second Twist for the pin.

Rating: D+. That Rikishi Driver looked great (as it did most of the time) but they really could have just ended it after the first Twist of Fate. The tournament isn’t exactly setting the world on fire yet but it might get better with some brackets or at least a list of names in the thing. You know, assuming they know who is in the thing at the moment.

Billy Kidman, still out of action with an injury, is in the front row but wants to be back in the ring.

Tag Team Titles: Roddy Piper/Sean O’Haire vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Eddie and Tajiri are defending as we need to wedge an MSG legend onto the card. O’Haire jumps Eddie at the bell but gets taken down for a quick slingshot hilo. It’s off to Tajiri for the handspring elbow and a superkick for two. Piper has to break up a Tarantula and then comes in legally to a nice nostalgia reaction. After a few stomps and some slaps to Eddie, it’s already back to O’Haire for a chinlock. A powerslam is countered with a reverse DDT and Tajiri brings Eddie back in. Everything breaks down and Piper gets misted, setting up the frog splash to retain the titles.

Rating: D. As usual, Eddie and Tajiri looked fine, albeit at the expense of someone who should be winning the US Title tournament. This push for O’Haire hasn’t gotten him anywhere and, again, it’s almost all about Piper. There’s no benefit to the two of them being associated and O’Haire is floundering more and more by the day. Of course none of that matters as this was it for Piper in the company due to some comments he made in an interview with HBO. Really, it’s not much of a loss for WWE as Piper was barely worth keeping around at this point, save for the occasional good line in Piper’s Pit.

We see the end of last week’s show, which set up tonight’s six man tag.

Here’s Vince to call out Stephanie and Gowan. Vince sucks up to Stephanie, calling her the apple of her father’s eye. She grew up in a hurry and when she was seventeen, he did have her, ahem, close some business deals for him. Those actions stole her innocence and it was as if Vince personally deflowered her (I know it’s never flat out stated, but it’s pretty clear what he’s talking about and that’s rather disturbing). He’ll never forgive himself and that brings him to Gowan.

See, Vince wants to be like Zack, because it’s the one thing he can’t be. Therefore he wants an apology from Gowan, who says no. Gowan goes into a good rant about how he wants to be a wrestler and Vince is spitting on his dreams. All Gowan wants is a contract and Vince calmly gives him one. Well, with one condition: he has to join Vince’s special club. Vince takes his pants down but gets hit low instead. At least they kept it shorter here and stayed closer to the point, albeit with Vince losing his pants.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore

This is Dragon’s debut and Rey Mysterio is on commentary. Dragon spins out of a headscissors and a wristlock to start before kicking Moore away without much effort. Shannon gets sent outside so Dragon moonsaults back into the middle of the ring. Back in and Moore gets two off an elbow to the jaw before grabbing a chinlock.

Dragon fights up and hits a sloppy inverted hurricanrana/release victory roll (started in an electric chair and rolled forward). Shannon is sent outside again for an Asai moonsault and the New York fans are rather appreciative. A super jawbreaker sets up a standing backflip into a reverse DDT (basically a Salida Del Sol) to give Dragon the pin.

Rating: C-. This was way more competitive than it needed to be, especially with someone who has been hyped up as strongly as Dragon. I was never the biggest fan of his but he had a good finisher and a great looking moonsault, which is often all you need. If nothing else the division needs some fresh blood and a top challenger for Mysterio.

Rey and Dragon shake hands post match.

Kurt Angle/Brock Lesnar/Mr. America vs. Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin/Big Show

The USA chants start up (Tazz: “I don’t get this. Everybody in the ring is an American.”) until Angle and Haas start things off. The chants shift to Angle as he takes Charlie down for a far too early chinlock. Haas drags him into the corner though and it’s a good looking double dropkick to put Angle down. A crossbody gets Angle out of trouble as the fans want Hogan.

They’ll have to settle for Mr. America though for a clothesline, only to have Brock come in for some REAL clotheslines. Brock gorilla presses Haas as Tazz tries to get Manster over as a nickname. It’s back to America for a belly to back suplex and we take a break. Back with Lesnar cleaning house again and staring Big Show (who hasn’t done anything yet) down.

Benjamin breaks up an F5 on Haas and it’s the leapfrog over Haas and onto Lesnar’s back. Now Show will come in and Brock can’t slam him. Lesnar can however belly to back suplex him because physics are weird in wrestling. The hot tag brings in Angle to clean house with the release German suplexes (that’s very un-American of him). Show has to break up the ankle lock on Haas and it’s double teaming time again.

That lasts all of five seconds as Kurt gets in another suplex and brings America back in. Some right hands have Show rocked and Lesnar and Angle pull him outside. An F5/Angle Slam take out Haas and Benjamin, only to have Show come back in for a double chokeslam. That leaves America to take care of Show but here’s Vince carrying Gowan. The distraction lets Show chokeslam America for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, mainly because they mostly focused on Haas/Benjamin vs. Angle/Lesnar. America and Big Show could have a passable five minute match but they’re much better off saving them for short bursts like this. They still need to find someone else for Lesnar to face besides Big Show though as it’s getting repetitive. The other stuff was good though and that’s what matters most. I’m sure Mr. America will find something fresh to do soon enough.

Vince makes Gowan/Stephanie vs. Big Show for Gowan’s contract next week.

Overall Rating: C-. The first forty minutes or so were pretty dreadful but it picked up strongly enough in the second half to make it watchable. They’re getting to a point with the main story but the rest of the card is kind of all over the place. We still have no idea who is in the tournament and O’Haire/Piper are the best they have for challengers to the Tag Team Titles. It’s certainly better than Raw though and while that’s not much of a bar to clear, it’s better than nothing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – November 21, 2017: Really Shane? Really? Shane?

Smackdown
Date: November 21, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

So the battle between brands is over and now it’s time to find out where we go from here. In theory we go towards Clash of the Champions in just shy of a month, which could mean multiple things. AJ Styles is likely going to have to deal with Jinder Mahal again, though the title match won’t be taking place tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Sunday’s main event.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. They were so close on Sunday and, despite what his sister wants to say, Smackdown proved that they’re nothing but the best show. The Smackdown roster gives it their all every night and he’s proud of them all. Save for two that is, meaning Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn.

Shane has them come out here and Owens immediately calls Shane drunk with power. Sami wants to know whether it’s harder for Shane to keep coming up with excuses for his failures or just admitting that he’s wrong. They would have beaten the Shield or even won a 5-2 handicap match or beaten Brock Lesnar. Shane says he’s the Commissioner and the two of them have no respect for anyone. He teases firing them but Owens says that would be stupid as they’re both future Hall of Famers.

Shane loads up the firing but gets cut off by Daniel Bryan. Sami starts getting fired up but Daniel tells him to be quiet. Everyone in the back hates Sami and Kevin’s guts, to the point where Bryan had to send Randy Orton home before he tried to kill them. Tonight, the two of them will be facing New Day in a lumberjack match.

So to recap: yes, we are just supposed to go with the fact that Shane put himself in the match and assume that he really was the best option. I have no idea why we’re supposed to go with that other than Shane is a former fan favorite but if you disagree with whatever he says, you’re apparently a heel. Oh and Smackdown is totally equal to Raw, even though it lost on Sunday. Such is life in WWE.

Jey Uso vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton lets him out of the corner to start, only to climb the ropes for a knee to the face, knocking Jey outside. Back from an early break with Shelton working on a chinlock until Jey fights up with a Samoan drop. Gable offers a distraction so Shelton can get two off a rollup, only to have Jey score with a superkick for the same. The Superfly Splash misses though and it’s Paydirt to give Shelton the pin at 7:07.

Rating: C-. You might as well just pencil in the Tag Team Title match at Clash of the Champions and that’s fine. It’s not like there are many other teams to challenge for the belts unless they hot shot the Bludgeon Brothers up to the title scene in a hurry. Not bad or anything but they need a little more time to get somewhere, especially with such a simple booking idea.

Sami and Kevin try to get help from Baron Corbin and Bobby Roode, both of whom shoot them down. Roode promises both of them a receipt.

Naomi is getting her makeup done when NXT’s Ruby Riot comes up. She’s with Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan, all of whom beat the heck out of Naomi. Becky Lynch comes in for the save and gets beaten down as well.

The bosses are in the back with Shane praising Bryan’s decisions tonight because he can fire Sami and Kevin whenever he wants. Shane leaves to go watch the show at his hotel.

Hype Bros vs. Bludgeon Brothers

It’s Luke Harper and Erick Rowan with big Thor style hammers. Rowan runs Ryder over to start and knocks him outside. Harper gets in a hard clothesline and sends him into the steps, leaving Rawley alone. A double spinebuster puts Mojo away at 1:24. Total squash.

Natalya applauds Charlotte for winning the title last week and beating Alexa Bliss on Sunday. I mean, Natalya’s cat could beat Bliss but tonight she’ll give Ric Flair something to really cry about.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles from Sunday.

Here’s Styles for a chat, but first we see a post-match video from Paul Heyman, saying Styles is the best in-ring performer he’s ever seen. AJ wishes he could celebrate with all the fans but it didn’t go as well as he thought it would. He’d love to face Lesnar again though because in the sequel, Rocky wins.

That brings him to Jinder Mahal, who says he’s taking the title back tonight. AJ takes off the jacket and the belt, saying come get it. Mahal pops up on screen to say it’s his time instead of AJ’s. If Mahal had faces Brock, he would be hailed as the Beastmaster. AJ says bring it on because Mahal should be well rested after not doing anything on Sunday. Mahal will take his rematch at Clash of Champions. Cue the Singh Brothers from behind to jump AJ, who cleans house without any trouble.

Sami and Kevin recruit Aiden English and Rusev, who don’t say no.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya

Charlotte is defending after having won last week. Natalya jumps at her to start but gets elbowed in the jaw. That earns her a face first toss into the middle buckle and we take a break. Back with Natalya getting two off a Batista Bomb and grabbing the Sharpshooter. Charlotte makes the rope for the break but Natalya is right back on her with right hands. A whip into the corner lets Charlotte try the moonsault, only to land on the knees. The spear connects but here are Logan, Riot and Morgan to jump Natalya for the DQ at 6:43.

Rating: C+. They were rolling until the interference here with Natalya showing more fire than she has in a long time. Charlotte looked like she was in a fight and that’s not something you see from her too often. I can go for the trio interfering, though I would have liked to see Charlotte get the win first.

Charlotte gets beaten down as well as the trio poses.

Daniel Bryan has no comment on the trio attacking. Sami and Kevin come up and threaten him with repercussions if he fires them.

New Day vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Lumberjack match and New Day comes out with some pancakes. Woods is on the floor here as Owens and Big E. get things going. Kevin knocks Kofi outside early on and the lumberjacks let him back in without any issue. Sami comes in so Kofi leapfrogs him into a back elbow for one. Back up and Kofi is sent outside again and for the second time, no one touches him.

Sami goes to get him this time and gets pummeled, sending him running up the aisle. No one is letting that happen though and Sami gets carried back to the ring. We take a break and come back with Owens taking the Unicorn Stampede. Owens knocks Kofi into the corner though and stomps away as Saxton says the lumberjacks are like sharks who can’t wait to get their hands on Owens and Sami. Graves: “Sharks don’t have hands Saxton.”

Sami comes in and mocks New Day’s dancing claps before stomping away. Owens’ backsplash hits Kofi’s knees though and the hot tag brings in Big E. The Big Ending doesn’t work on Sami so it’s back to Kofi for his high crossbody. Everything breaks down with Sami being sent outside, triggering the brawl between the lumberjacks. They all come in and the referee doesn’t call for the DQ, leaving Sami to roll Kofi up for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: C. This was much more about everything else going on than the match itself and that’s fine. Sami and Kevin winning makes sense and it’s not like New Day is hurt by a fluke pin after all the issues with the lumberjacks (or a recent match with Shield). It’s storyline advancement and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post break the lumberjacks leave with Kofi diving onto Rusev and English. Sami takes the Midnight Hour to leave him laying.

In the back, Owens gets on his knees in front of Bryan, begging him not to fire them. Bryan was never going to do that because he recognizes their talent. Next week, Owens goes one on one with Orton.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a back to normal show without much in the way of major developments. AJ is still champion, Mahal is still in way over his head and saying the same things he always says, Owens and Sami are still right in that they were better options than Shane at Survivor Series and Shane is still a face for reasons that I don’t possibly comprehend. The debuts and returns were nice though and gives the show some much needed fresh blood. Good enough show, though nothing of note really happened.

Results

Shelton Benjamin b. Jey Uso – Paydirt

Bludgeon Brothers b. Hype Bros – Double spinebuster to Rawley

Natalya b. Charlotte via DQ when Sarah Logan, Ruby Riot and Liv Morgan interfered

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – June 19, 2003: One Of The Most Out There Things The McMahons Have Ever Done

Smackdown
Date: June 19, 2003
Location: SBC Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So after last week’s main event saw Big Show and Brock Lesnar break the ring, it’s probably time to set up a rematch because these two have to be stuck fighting each other forever. Other than that Kurt Angle is back and full on face again, having fired Team Angle. There are some good stories going on around here at the moment so let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the superplex. I was worried it would be the arm wrestling.

Opening sequence.

Show gets his rematch for the title tonight.

Undertaker vs. Nunzio

Rating: D-. So you know all those times where Undertaker beat up the FBI? This is the third one in a row. I’m not sure what the point of wasting Undertaker for the better part of two months like this is but I’m sure there’s a reason for it somewhere. Nothing match of course and just a squash.

Post match the beatdown is on but the APA of all people return (with Bradshaw sporting horrible looking blond hair) for the save. You know, because Undertaker needs help with the FBI.

Zack Gowan goes to Stephanie McMahon’s office but finds Sable instead. He’ll wait inside though.

Clip of Paul Heyman turning on Lesnar at Survivor Series because Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar is a big enough feud to get a history package throughout the night.

Rhyno and Chris Benoit come out for a tag match….and here’s Stephanie to say let’s make it a singles match. Eh we might as well make it a first round match in a tournament for the US Title, with the finals taking place in July at Vengeance.

US Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Benoit’s armbar doesn’t go anywhere so let’s hit a GO SPURS GO chant with Tazz sounding a bit annoyed. A headlock doesn’t seem to bore the crowd as much but Rhyno would rather drive Benoit into the corner. Some kicks send Rhyno bailing to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rhyno grabbing a half crab and taking over the heel role.

An Alley Oop into the corner drops Benoit again and gets a gasp from the Spurs happy fans. Another hard clothesline drops Benoit and a powerslam is good for two. We hit the chinlock as the crowd is gone again, albeit without the chanting. This goes on WAY too long, much like the match as a whole actually. Rhyno tells his partner to fight back, which Benoit does for a few clotheslines.

A snap suplex gets two but the German suplex has a bit more impact. The Swan Dive connects (with a nasty looking landing) for another near fall, only to have Rhyno come back with a DDT. That means both guys get to stay down even more, which continues to feel like stalling. An ax handle to the back gives Rhyno two but he charges into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D+. The match could have been worse but the time killed everything here. There’s no need for them to be out there for sixteen minutes with a long chinlock taking up so much of that time. Benoit vs. Rhyno wasn’t going to tear the house down but throwing it in the first round of a surprise tournament probably wasn’t the best usage of whatever they could have gotten from the thing.

Benoit takes his sweet time letting go and Rhyno isn’t interested in his help getting up. As he shouldn’t be.

Sable lets Gowan touch her chest. It’s as awkward as you can imagine it being.

Ultimo Dragon is here next week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kanyon

Non-title of course. This is Kanyon’s first match on one of the main shows since October 2001 and he doesn’t even get an entrance. Kanyon gets sent outside early on but manages to catch Rey and drop him onto the barricade. Back in and Kanyon counters another springboard into a backbreaker and we hit a chinlock. Kanyon tries a superplex but Rey knocks him back, setting up a top rope seated senton for two of his own. A springboard moonsaults gives Rey two more and the West Coast Pop gives Rey the pin.

Rating: C. Maybe it was the lack of a character or this match (which was hardly terrible) but, outside of a battle royal at the upcoming pay per view, that’s Kanyon’s last match on the main roster. You would think they could find something for him to do but apparently not quite. Mysterio winning here was of course the right call and gives him something to do while we wait for him to find a new feud for the title.

Lesnar cost Big Show the title at Armageddon.

Here’s the former Team Angle, now in matching maroon singlets. Benjamin says they’re not about to come crawling back to Angle for a spot on the team. The name Angle was holding them back because Kurt represents everything they’re not. Haas challenges Angle for next week but here’s Kurt now instead. That’s quite the prompt response. Angle says maybe they’re right and maybe they are the best tag team period. There are only two words that Angle takes exception to though: next week. Angle is ready to go right now.

Kurt Angle vs. Charlie Haas

Impromptu match. Angle takes him down without too much effort and the fans are behind the returning hero. A keylock keeps Haas in trouble and Angle throws him down without much effort. Haas’ headlock only has a limited effect until Angle reverses into a catapult to send Charlie outside in a heap.

Back in and Haas slaps him in the face, which draws a rather unpleasant smile to Angle’s face. Haas sends him outside again though, meaning Angle smiled prematurely. With the nitwit referee distracted, Benjamin sends Angle into the steps, earning himself an ejection. Ok so maybe we’ll go with moron instead of nitwit.

Back from a break with Haas working on the shoulder which went into the steps. Angle fights up and slugs away before channeling his inner Shawn Michaels for a flying forearm. A German suplex cuts Angle off though and Haas takes down the straps. You don’t steal gimmicks though, meaning Kurt reverses an Angle Slam and hits one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with the guys getting time, mainly for the sake of Angle getting back into the swing of things. Haas is a good choice for an opponent in the comeback match as Angle knows the style well and won’t make too many mistakes. This was all it needed to be and entertained as a bonus.

Post match Haas and Benjamin beat Angle down until Lesnar makes the save.

Back on Halloween, Big Show chokeslammed Lesnar through the announcers’ table. Is there a reason we’re going back in time on these clips?

Sable kisses Gowan and shoves everything off of Stephanie’s desk. Gowan says her name and shows how horrible of an actor he is as the camera leans over Sable’s shoulder. Sable cuts him off though and asks if Gowan is crazy. He could never have a woman like her because he’s not a real man. Vince comes in and sends Gowan away. They break down in laughter with Vince saying Sable was great.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

The guys take turns spanking their respective ladies because the writers of this show seem rather sexually frustrated. A Torrie chant breaks out as the guys fight over a wristlock. The announcers talk about Torrie looking better than Tony Chimmel and now the fans want puppies. Noble grabs a leglock as the announcers are happy with various camera shots of Torrie. Billy fights up but the leg gives out on a gorilla press. It’s fine enough for a Fameasser attempt but Nidia grabs Billy’s leg. The catfight is on until Billy breaks it up, followed by the Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: D. I know Billy has a good look and all that jazz but sweet goodness how many more times do I have to hear about how great he is while listening to that stupid song? It was fun while he was a comedy goof but they’re treating him like something serious, which makes the whole gimmick even more ridiculous. You can’t have it both ways and the fact that Gunn just isn’t all that great doesn’t help things.

Lesnar beat Big Show in a stretcher match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Sean O’Haire

Roddy Piper has a bottle of tequila with him. Sean hammers away to start and gives Eddie a release flapjack with Eddie still wearing the title. It’s off to a waistlock for a good long while but Sean’s spinning kick to the head misses. Eddie starts in on the knee with a dropkick followed by a second to the chest. That’s enough to set up the frog splash but Piper offers a distraction so Sean can roll away. The reverse fireman’s carry slam (now called the Prophecy) is enough to end Guerrero.

Rating: D. There’s not much you can do in a match that’s just over three minutes and a minute of that is spent in a waistlock. I’ll give them points for having Sean win as he needs something positive but there’s not much he’s going to be able to do while Piper is out there. Piper is the guy who will wind up with the attention and that’s been the case the entire time. O’Haire’s win was close enough to clean here but you need more than one win in a three minute match.

Vince and Sable are gloating about pulling off the Gowan deal, which makes me wonder what they’ve been doing in the time since we last saw them. They kiss (kind of, though it’s more Vince rubbing his lip over hers) before Vince mocks Gowan’s actions earlier. Sable starts taking her top off when Stephanie comes in to throw her out. Stephanie goes into a rant about Stephanie taking her to dinners with his business associates where he would, I kid you not, offer them sex with Stephanie….who apparently went along with it.

She’s not going to let Vince do that with Gowan though (HUH?) because Gowan is her last chance to save herself (HUH HUH?). If Vince is going to fire her then do it, even though it means he’ll lose the one person who has ever cared about her and wanted to be like him (She wanted to be a man who pimped out his underage daughter in business deals???). Stephanie finally stops the crying/screeching voice and storms off, ending one of the most bizarre segments in the history of the McMahons.

So to recap: Vince was trading sex with his underage daughter (make your own Randy Savage joke) in exchange for business deals (in theory, as the way Stephanie put it he might have just been doing it for fun. Therefore, she’s championing Zack Gowan (though not really as Gowan just showed up and is more Hogan’s project than hers) so Vince can’t do the same thing to him (though Vince is really just mocking him instead of….whatever you call what she claimed Vince did) so she can be free of him…..whatever that means. I mean, if she wanted to be free of him, why is she not WORKING SOMEWHERE ELSE?

I’ll give the McMahon storylines this: they’re rather ambitious at times. Unfortunately they make pretty much no sense but they’re certainly not run of the mill stuff. Between this and the Stephanie signing Mr. America story, it’s been a rather eventful summer and there’s no sign of it slowing down at all.

Next week: Undertaker/APA vs. FBI. Why would I want to watch a public execution?

Last week, Lesnar and Big Show broke the ring.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and drives him into the corner to start. Show gets knocked outside so they can send each other into the barricade. Some chops and right hands have Lesnar rocked a bit, followed by a clothesline for two. The slow pace continues and we hit the abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so it’s a big boot and legdrop for two on the champ.

Show can’t get a superplex so Brock shoves him down for a top rope clothesline. A release German suplex sends Show flying (well, hovering at least) in the first interesting move of the match. The F5 doesn’t work as Show grabs the rope, drawing in Haas and Benjamin to jump Lesnar for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was every slow, dull Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar match you’ve ever seen. There’s only so much these two can do to each other with Lesnar throwing him around and Big Show hitting him hard. They’ve run out of stuff to do and the problem with that is it makes the feud seem a bit less epic than WWE would like you to believe.

Angle runs in for the save and an Angle Slam on Show. He takes too long with Haas and Benjamin though, allowing Show to get in a chokeslam. This brings out Mr. America for the house cleaning until another chokeslam plants him as well. Six man next week it would seem.

Overall Rating: D. They did a lot of stuff here as we’re getting ready for Vengeance, hopefully with less of a focus on Vince vs. Stephanie. That line about Vince sending her out to business associates made my head spin, which is becoming more and more common with their stories. The main idea here was they were trying to do stuff, which is better than not trying. Unfortunately it’s not really working, mainly because a lot of the people they’re pushing aren’t interesting or the time they need is being taken up by the Vince vs. Stephanie stuff. This show wasn’t the worst and at least they’re trying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – November 14, 2017: Under Siege III: It’s About Time

Smackdown
Date: November 14, 2017
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re finally ready to wrap up the Survivor Series build but first there are two more title matches to get to, both of which could change how things look heading into Sunday. Tonight United States Champion Baron Corbin will defend against Sin Cara and Women’s Champion Natalya will defend against Charlotte. Let’s get to it.

The Smackdown roster is in the back with Shane giving them a pep talk (which doesn’t need a microphone). Becky Lynch and Baron Corbin are all fired up and Shane says John Cena, who isn’t here, will be ready. New Day starts a SMACK-DOWN ROCKS chant and Shane joins in. I really can’t wait to get past Survivor Series so we can get over this A-Show vs. B-Show stuff, which won’t be changed a bit by whatever happens on Sunday.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat. Bryan has liked the build so far and thinks Smackdown is ready for anything Raw can throw at them tonight. He’s proud of everyone in the back and on Sunday they’ll prove that they’re better than Raw. Bryan brings out AJ Styles and has a special offer for him: his own personal advocate for the evening, ala Paul Heyman.

AJ says yes so Bryan goes into a Heyman impression before saying he agrees with every point Heyman made last night, save for one. The point is Lesnar quits whenever he’s put in trouble, like when he quit to a weak kneebar. AJ is going to push Lesnar into deep waters and test him like the Beast has never been tested before. Styles finally gets to talk and says he’s ready to prove that he’s the best in the world.

Post break AJ runs into Jinder Mahal, who says he’ll give AJ a real beating after Lesnar gets done with him.

US Title: Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

Baron is defending. Cara starts fast with some quick strikes and a dropkick sends Corbin to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Cara fighting out of a chinlock and striking away before a clothesline sends Baron outside. A chokebreaker is countered into a rollup and Cara’s springboard spinning crossbody gets two. Deep Six gets Corbin out of trouble but Cara kicks him outside again, this time for a middle rope moonsault. Not that it matters as End of Days retains Corbin’s title at 7:14.

Rating: D+. Pretty much a nothing match here but at least they wrapped up the Corbin vs. Cara stuff in one definitive ending. Cara was fine for a short term challenger but Corbin needs something a little more substantial going forward. It wasn’t terrible but with about half of it in commercial and Cara not having much of a chance, they didn’t have much to work with out there.

Long recap of Smackdown vs. Raw over the last eight days.

The bosses are in the back to say there’s never been a more important Survivor Series. Oh come on. This isn’t even the most important one Shane has ever been in. The point though is Bryan wants to talk to Shane after Sunday because he was never consulted about the siege.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya

Charlotte is challenging and we’re ready to go after Big Match Intros. Natalya gets in a few shots to the back but Charlotte powers out without much effort. A hard charge sends Natalya into the barricade for two and Charlotte kicks her in the face for good measure. Back from a break with Charlotte rolling out of a surfboard and chopping away. A spear cuts Natalya down again but only gets a delayed two.

Natalya bails to the floor but gets kicked down from the apron to cut things off again. Charlotte takes too long going onto the, barricade though, allowing Natalya to powerbomb her into the post for a big crash. Back in and the mostly dead Charlotte gets caught in the Sharpshooter, only to power crawl to the ropes. Charlotte kicks her in the face and grabs the Figure Eight for the tap out and the title at 10:34.

Rating: C+. Now that’s more like it. I’m not entirely surprised by the title change and that’s a good thing in this case. There was no need for Natalya to face Alexa Bliss and, probably more importantly, it keeps Charlotte and Asuka apart, hopefully setting up a huge showdown later on. Oh and what happened to Alexa Bliss threatening to come watch the match?

Post match Charlotte says this is all she’s wanted every single day. That means a YOU DESERVE IT chant until Charlotte can dedicate the title win to Ric Flair…..who actually comes out to celebrate with her as she leaves.

Bludgeon Brothers video. They debut next week.

Jimmy Uso vs. Chad Gable

Jimmy chops away but gets his knee taken out, allowing Chad to grab a dragon screw leg whip. Back with Chad missing a moonsault but landing on his feet. Jimmy superkicks the knee out, followed by the running Umaga attack for two. A rolling Liger Kick drops Jimmy and Chad throws him head first into the middle rope for a different kind of offense. Gable goes after Jey for no apparent reason, allowing Jimmy to hit a superkick for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: C-. Again nothing to see here but they do keep this feud going for after the pay per view. Gable and Benjamin could get a big title shot on TV down the road, which is about as good of an idea as Smackdown has at the moment. The Usos and New Day were the division for so long and they really need some fresh blood.

The announcers plug everything coming up this weekend.

Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens aren’t happy with not being on Sunday’s show because they’re better than Shield and New Day.

Before the main event, New Day says Shield has thirteen title reigns between the three of them. New Day however has about twenty seven. Big E.: “Though to be fair…..most of those were Kofi.” They compare hounds to unicorns, which should be one sided because New Day Rocks.

New Day vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

It’s Xavier/Big E. here and some Unicorn Stampeding has Sami in early trouble. Owens comes in but eats the Honor Roll as the New Day beating continues. Big E. wheelbarrow slams Woods onto Big E. and Sami gets knocked out to the floor. Kevin trips Woods though and we take a break. Back with Woods in a chinlock but he fights out without much effort. The hot tag brings in Big E. for the suplexes and throws, followed by a flip dive from Woods. Everything breaks down….and here’s Shield. We’ll say the match is thrown out at about 10:00.

Rating: C. This was a big match but there’s only so much you can do when it’s all there for the post match brawl. There’s nothing wrong with that though and the match was a big deal while it lasted. New Day is one of the biggest acts on Smackdown at the moment and that’s a good idea given how charismatic they really are.

Sami and Owens bail to the floor, leaving New Day to get beaten down. The Usos come in but the Bar cuts them off. We see the Raw women’s team invading the Smackdown women’s locker room for the big brawl with Charlotte taking the big beating. Back in the arena, Samoa Joe and Finn Balor run in along with others, only to have Shane lead some reinforcements. Shinsuke Nakamura starts striking away but Kurt Angle shows up to bring out Braun Strowman for the real house cleaning.

Everyone brawls to the floor where Shield surrounds Shane McMahon. Shane has to watch as Smackdown is decimated on the floor, including Samoa Joe breaking the trombone over Big E.’s back. Angle gets in the ring and asks Shane how this feels before a TripleBomb plants the boss. Angle takes off his jacket and gives Shane an Angle Slam. Strowman watches as it’s a second TripleBomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The ending segment needed to happen and did exactly what it was supposed to do. We’ve been waiting for Raw to get their retribution and it really was a better moment with Shield as the monsters (read as the Shield, not Reigns on his own). Great ending segment to a good enough show that made me more interested in one of Sunday’s bigger matches.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Sin Cara – End of Days

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Figure Eight

Jimmy Uso b. Chad Gable – Superkick

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. New Day went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – June 12, 2003: It Broke

Smackdown
Date: June 12, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night here as Smackdown has one of those pay per view main events on TV when Raw has the brand exclusive show. Tonight it’s Brock Lesnar defending the title against Big Show, plus Vince McMahon vs. Zack Gowan in an arm wrestling match for Gowan’s contract. Ok I didn’t say it was a high quality pay per view match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rey Mysterio winning the Cruiserweight Title last week. You really would have thought it would be the Mr. America stuff or Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show but this is a nice surprise.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey is defending and Matt, who is too handsome to wear a mask like Rey, tells the MF’ers to stay in the back. Matt goes right at Rey to start and whips him hard into the corner. An early 619 misses and Matt hammers away some more. A middle rope neckbreaker is broken up so Rey hits a super bulldog to put both guys down instead.

Rey’s springboard seated senton gets two, only to tweak the bad groin on a leapfrog attempt. It’s fine enough for the 619 though and a springboard legdrop gets two. Back up and Matt drops him onto the middle rope, messing up the injury again. Splash Mountain gets two on the champ but he blocks the Twist of Fate. A West Coast Pop from the top without the springboard retains the title in a hurry.

Rating: B-. They kept it moving out there and that’s what this needed to be. Mysterio retaining again, despite being injured, makes it clear that he’s the better man of the two and should wrap things up between them. As a bonus, it’s a great way to open the show as they’re in and out less than ten minutes into the show with the fans having something to cheer about.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit, but an international version. Piper has a table set up with sombreros, booze and various other things, all set up for guests Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri. Eddie is very excited to be on the show and Piper seems equally happy. He talks about Eddie and Tajiri being all about lying, cheating and stealing, which Eddie says is them being honest.

Piper says the truth is Sean O’Haire will be the next World Champion, so Eddie should let him hold one of the Tag Team Titles. Eddie isn’t going to do that, but Tajiri hands his over for a plate of sushi. A fight is about to break out so let’s have some tequila instead. Tajiri spits his in Piper’s face though and they steal the belt back without much effort.

Sable is in Stephanie’s office and using her computer when Stephanie comes in. After claiming to have been looking for Zack Gowan’s contract, Sable mentions that Stephanie is bringing back the US Title (well thank goodness). Stephanie says it’s true and insults Sable a bit, saying that Sable will never be able to con her (Stephanie is too smart you see).

Billy Gunn vs. A-Train

Torrie Wilson is guest ring announcer here for no apparent reason. She introduces the returning Billy and seems to have a thing for him. Billy slugs away with some clotheslines, followed by the Stinger Splash in the corner. A bicycle kick cuts him off but the Derailer is countered, setting up a quick Fameasser to give Billy the pin.

Torrie lets Billy give him a quick spank post match.

Undertaker vs. Johnny Stamboli

Yes this is still going. Stamboli charges in and gets punched down in the corner for his efforts. The FBI distraction doesn’t work as Undertaker punches them away without too much effort, mainly because he’s the Undertaker and they’re the FBI. Stamboli finally gets in a baseball slide for a breather and Palumbo’s superkick takes Undertaker down. A slingshot legdrop and a suplex get two on Undertaker. Since he’s an athletic freak, Stamboli jumps from the mat to the top and spins around with a legdrop that only hits mat. The Last Ride gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. The more I see of Stamboli, the more impressed I am. He was never going to be a big star because the basics weren’t exactly great but some of the athletic feats he pulled off were very impressive. Of course when he’s done those feats he’s lost to Rikishi and Undertaker, at least one of which wasn’t exactly necessary. This feud really needs to end soon though as it’s not doing anything for anyone involved.

The FBI chairs Undertaker down.

Mr. America helps Gowan warm up for the arm wrestling.

Here’s Stephanie to run the arm wrestling match. Naturally she has something to say but Sable comes out to cut her off. Apparently she’s Stephanie’s assistant, even though I thought they said she was Vince’s last week. Eh it’s not interesting either way so here are Gowan and Mr. America. Vince is out next and looks as jacked as he has in years.

We’re not ready to go yet though as America challenges Vince to arm wrestle him instead. Sable whispers into Vince’s ear and the boss agrees, upon two conditions. First of all, Gowan vs. Vince is still on for later. However, if Vince beats America, he leaves for the other arm wrestling. Why do I feel like I need legal representation for this? They go left handed to save Vince’s arm for later and America flips him off at the same time. Sable accuses America of cheating so they let go, causing Stephanie to threaten to disqualify her father.

Post break America is consoling Gowan when Big Show comes in to gloat a bit.

Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams debut Linda Miles as their manager Shaniqua. Tazz recognizes her as Miles (it’s not hard to miss) and wants to know why she has a riding crop. Rhyno runs Danny over to start but a hair pull from the apron lets Danny put on a chinlock. That’s shoved away without much effort and the hot tag brings in Benoit. Suplexes abound and Doug gets caught in the Crossface until Danny makes a save. Rhyno punches Benoit by mistake and a Rough Ryder gives Danny the pin.

Rating: D+. More angle advancement here as we move closer to Benoit and Rhyno finally splitting. The Bashams aren’t much yet and Shaniqua really doesn’t need to be there but that’s never stopped WWE before. The tag division does need some fresh talent and it’s not like they’re as dull as the FBI. At the moment the Bashams don’t have any real characters so they’re already better than the stereotype gimmicks.

Benoit and Rhyno argue in the back.

John Cena vs. Funaki

Before the match, Cena raps about Cole loves boy bands, including O-Town. Cena charges into a boot, blocks the tornado DDT and finishes with the FU (much more like the modern version) in less than a minute.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a chat. After promising to be a champion again soon, Kurt wants to talk to Team Angle. Kurt wants to know where they were last week but Team Angle says they were sick. Benjamin: “Sick of being in your shadow.” Where was Kurt when they needed him to be part of the team? Angle yells at them for not responding to a setback before telling them to think about how to get the Tag Team Titles back.

Haas says hang on a second and points out the loss at Wrestlemania where he broke his neck (not exactly). They fought Lesnar and didn’t break their necks, meaning Angle is a loser! Kurt says the YOU SUCK chants have been earned, which only he can make sound like a positive.

Haas says Kurt can still be on the team, but they’re the leaders now. That’s not cool with Kurt, who throws both of them off the team. Angle even kicks dirt on them like an umpire and they actually leave. Kurt was hilarious here but Haas’ line about not breaking their necks was the best in the whole thing. Good stuff here and funny, as Angle can always do.

During the break, Haas and Benjamin beat Angle down. Cole: “Is that how you handle things? You get fired and you beat up your boss?” Tazz: “Well yeah. I did.”

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is defending and gets clotheslined down early on. Show blocks a belly to belly without too much effort but gets low bridged to the floor in a rather large crash. A whip sends Brock into the steps and a side slam gives Show two. Show’s half crab has Brock in some trouble but he makes the rope, as expected.

Lesnar shrugs it off but can’t hold him up for the F5. The chokeslam is broken up but Show runs him over and drops a leg for two. Now the chokeslam connects for another two and Show is frustrated. He loads up a super chokeslam but Lesnar reverses into a superplex….and they break the ring. They’re both pretty much dead so the match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. I’m rather sick of seeing these two fight but that was quite the visual to help move things along. It’s certainly a great crash and a unique finish but it also likely means a rematch. Lesnar sold a bunch here and Show’s stuff was fine, though once you’ve seen these two fight once, you’ve seen it every time and that’s not good for the champion and almost perennial #1 contender.

Doctors come out (with Cole getting in the of “trainers, referees, EMT’s down”, which was used on the Do Not Try This At Home announcements for years) and check on them both to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Really weak show for the most part here with only a big visual and a good opener on the positive side. They need something fresh around here and while the US Title coming back will open up some possibilities, Lesnar vs. Big Show and the Mr. America stuff just isn’t going to get them very far. Bad show here, but not a hopeless disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – November 7, 2017: Celebrate

Smackdown
Date: November 7, 2017
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re still in England and it’s a huge night with two title matches. Tonight the Usos will defend their Tag Team Titles against Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin, but the real main event will see Smackdown World Champion Jinder Mahal put his title on the line against AJ Styles. These matches have major Survivor Series implications so let’s get to it.

Styles says he’ll win.

Mahal says he’ll win.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane talks about the war with Raw, specifically the attack on Daniel Bryan. While Daniel is banged up at the moment, he’ll be back next week. As for tonight, Shane brings out New Day to some clips of their mini invasion last night. New Day didn’t mean to make Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose lose their Tag Team Titles last night but it’s part of the deal when you prove Raw is the B show. If Raw wants some revenge, New Day will be waiting on them.

Shane joins them in some dancing but here are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to interrupt. Sami mocks Shane’s dancing abilities, which Woods finds rather amusing. Owens brings up beating Shane inside the Cell and Sami says they could have beaten Raw by themselves last night. New Day trades some insults with Sami and a match is made for right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sami Zayn

Kofi gets armbarred to start but lands on his feet out of a monkey flip. That means dancing to trombone music and a dropkick to put Sami on the floor. Sami takes a breather and the delay lets him stomp away back inside to take over. The top rope dive is dropkicked out of the air though and we take a break. Back with Kofi missing Trouble in Paradise and getting caught in a somewhat nasty Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Not that it matters as Kofi pops back up to the top for a high crossbody and the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C+. These are two of my favorites in WWE and it’s always cool to see them have a chance to showcase themselves. Kingston really doesn’t get to show his solo skills all that often but he got to show what he could do here. I’d still love to see him become World Champion someday and it’s not the most ridiculous idea in the world.

We look back at Jinder Mahal attacking AJ Styles last week.

Jinder says AJ is the appetizer to his entree of Brock Lesnar.

Video on the Bludgeon Brothers.

Rusev vs. Randy Orton

If Rusev, accompanied by Aiden English, wins, he joins the Survivor Series team. An RKO is broken up in the first few seconds and Rusev gets three straight near falls off the jumping superkick. We take a quick break and come back with Rusev holding a chinlock as Orton hasn’t gotten in much offense here. Back up and Rusev stomps away some more, only to walk into the RKO for the fast pin at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but Orton hit one move of note the whole match. There is still an open spot on the Smackdown Survivor Series team.

James Ellsworth knocks on the women’s locker room door and gets Becky Lynch. They have a match tonight and James laughs off the idea of Becky defeating him. James says this is MANchester after all but Becky questions his manhood to a gasp.

We look at the Siege and subsequent retaliation. AGAIN.

James Ellsworth vs. Becky Lynch

The Smackdown Women’s Team is at ringside. Ellsworth does some pushups but stops to take off his shirt, revealing a horribly pale physique. Becky takes him off the ropes without much effort and rolls Ellsworth around the ring to make him dizzy. An airplane spin makes it even worse for Ellsworth but he knocks Becky outside in a heap. That earns him a missile dropkick, followed by an atomic drop for the comedic portion of the match. The Bexploder makes Ellsworth try a hug, only to get caught in the Disarm-Her for the tap at 5:57.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match and feels like a treat for the live crowd more than anything else. Ellsworth being chauvinistic came out of nowhere and I’m not sure it really needed to happen, but it’s not like it hurt anything. Becky getting a win before captaining the team at Survivor Series is a good idea and that’s all it needed to be.

Carmella superkicks Ellsworth post match, possibly ending their relationship.

Post break Charlotte is in Shane’s office but Natalya comes in to interrupt. She’s here to accept Charlotte’s place on Team Smackdown. Shane has another idea though: Natalya defends the title against Charlotte next week.

Tag Team Titles: Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Usos

The Usos are defending. The champs jump Gable and Benjamin before the bell and we take a break. Back with the match joined in progress and Jey coming in off the hot tat. Shelton hits Pay Dirt on Jimmy but gets rolled up for two. Gable chop blocks Jey on the floor though and that’s a countout at 1:22 shown.

Clip of Luke Harper guest starring on Damnation.

AJ isn’t the biggest and isn’t the strongest but he works harder than anyone else.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is defending. AJ grabs a headlock to start but gets LAUNCHED out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with AJ caught in a headlock on the mat but they’re quickly on the floor with Mahal slamming him onto the announcers’ table. We hit the armbar as Mahal slows things down a bit.

Mahal drops a knee but dives into a pair of raised boots, followed by the Phenomenal Blitz. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two as you can tell the fans are way into this one. Something like a backdrop into a faceplant gives Mahal two of his own but he gets kicked out of the corner.

The Calf Crusher is quickly broken up and Jinder turns him inside out with a clothesline. That’s fine with AJ who sends him outside for a slingshot forearm. Back in and the springboard 450 connects, only to have the Singh Brothers pull Mahal to the floor. AJ takes out the brothers but jumps into the Khallas.

That’s only good for two though as AJ gets his foot on the ropes and the place goes NUTS at the new hope. Jinder loads up a super Khallas but AJ slips out and snaps his throat across the top, setting up the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin and the title at 16:47 as the fans go coconuts at the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty easily Mahal’s best match ever as champ but I think you can guess where that’s from. I can’t imagine Mahal isn’t champion again by the end of the India tour. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as we don’t have to sit through Mahal vs. Lesnar at Survivor Series. Styles winning was the right call here as he can have the dream match against Lesnar and then do whatever with the title as necessary.

Mahal beats up the Singh Brothers to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The title change easily puts this one over the top and makes it a much more important show. There wasn’t much going on until then and it felt like your standard throw away episode, but sweet goodness the place went nuts when AJ won the title. That’s an instant spark for Survivor Series and the show certainly needed it coming into this week. Not a great show, but a great moment to close it out.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Sami Zayn – High crossbody

Randy Orton b. Rusev – RKO

Becky Lynch b. James Ellsworth – Disarm-Her

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Usos via countout

AJ Styles b. Jinder Mahal – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – June 5, 2003: America First, And Then Lord Littlebrook

Smackdown
Date: June 5, 2003
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This week is almost all about Kurt Angle, who is back from the rather ridiculous two months off after having another major neck injury. To be fair, he’s long been established as a crazy man anyway so it’s not like this is out of character. As for an actual match, Rey Mysterio is challenging Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire to get things going in Piper’s Pit. There’s a legend in the back named Zack Gowan, who has fought against all the odds to get here. Piper makes fun of Gowan by calling him special over and over again. Instead it’s Vince McMahon power walking to the ring. Vince has been blinded by his hatred for Mr. America and Hulk Hogan, which is why he wants to make things right. It’s time to congratulate a great American success story like Gowan. Therefore, Gowan will have the chance to earn a contract.

Cue Gowan, albeit flanked by Mr. America. Vince isn’t pleased again and accused Hogan of faking the lie detector test last week. As for Gowan, he has the chance to get his contract next week, in an arm wrestling contest against Vince. America insults Vince a bit more as this takes longer than it needs to. Vince shoves Gowan down and gloats a lot.

We get a great Kurt Angle moment in Milk-A-Mania. Eh yeah that worked.

Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rating: D+. Palumbo got in some offense here but it wasn’t exactly a thrilling match. I’m still waiting on the FBI to go away though as they don’t have anything special for a gimmick and it’s not like there’s a star for the team. I have no idea why Undertaker is stuck with them, but at least WWE isn’t wasting any potential big stars on him.

Post match the FBI goes after Undertaker but is dispatched in short order.

Rey Mysterio’s family is in the front row for his title shot later tonight.

Quick look at Big Show laying out Brock Lesnar last week.

Show vs. Lesnar for the title next week. At least it’s not on pay per view.

We get a video tribute to Freddie Blassie, who passed away earlier in the week. This is edited off the Network version due to music issues, though an RIP graphic is there so it’s better than nothing.

Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Tajiri takes him Doug down with some armdrags to start and Eddie chases him into the corner for the first tag. That’s fine with Eddie who rolls some suplexes but Doug breaks up the frog splash. Again, it doesn’t seem to bother Eddie who wristdrags Doug and headscissors Danny at the same time. We hear about Team Angle calling in sick tonight as Doug gets in a suplex of his own for two on Eddie.

Another suplex gets Eddie out of trouble and it’s off to Tajiri for a superkick. A DDT gives Tajiri two on Danny and we hit the Tarantula (with Tajiri crossing Danny’s legs instead of pulling back like a Boston crab). With the referee trying to break it up, Eddie adds a frog splash to Doug’s back, setting up the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Eddie and Tajiri together, the more I like them. Tajiri is always smooth in the ring and that’s what makes them work so well. Eddie can do all the talking and technical stuff while Tajiri can come in and kick people really, really hard. That’s quite the combination. I’m not sure what the point is in having the Bashams come in and lose like this after a single win over the makeshift team of Rikishi and Spanky.

Another great Angle moment: singing songs with Austin while playing ukulele.

Here’s Angle, to quite the face reaction. He says it feels great to hear people tell him that he sucks so PLAY THAT MUSIC AGAIN! Angle is so overwhelmed that he lays on the mat listening to the chants. Things settle down a bit and Angle talks about wanting to be the World Champion again. As for his recovery though, there was one person who came to see him in the hospital and became a true friend. That person….will be named later as here’s Big Show to interrupt.

Show doesn’t care that Angle is back because Angle hasn’t earned his respect yet. Show gets right in Angle’s face and says if Angle wants to be champion again, he can come face Show after he wins the title next week. Angle better pray that doesn’t happen though because Angle won’t come out of the hospital again. Kurt pulls out some breaths strips and reminds Show that he took the title from him back in December. Oh and he won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck.

Angle does a quick fan poll on whether they want to see him beat Big Show up tonight, asking for a YOU SUCK. Cue Lesnar so Show bails, leaving Angle to say he could have handled that himself. Angle says Show has been getting the better of Lesnar as of late (Huh?) and thinks Brock is losing the title next week. Lesnar promises to keep the title and offers Angle a shot down the road. That sounds good to Kurt, but he’s glad Lesnar came out here. It was Brock who was visiting him in the hospital and being a friend. That means a big best friends hug and we have the latest version of the mega powers.

Ultimo Dragon is coming.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena rips on the cruiserweight division and thinks they don’t deserve any air time. We even get a Lord Littlebrook reference, making this even more awesome than usual. Benoit goes straight at him to start and drops Cena with a hard shoulder. Cena’s charge in the corner misses and Benoit easily takes him down into a failed Crossface attempt.

They head outside where Benoit gets posted and it’s off to a chinlock. Benoit pops back up and elbows Cena in the face before countering the FU into a DDT. The Swan Dive gets two but the ref gets bumped. That really doesn’t need to happen in a match that hasn’t run three minutes yet. Cena gets in a low blow but here’s Rhyno to take the chain away. Unfortunately he hits Benoit in the head by mistake, giving Cena the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to do anything here but it was more about setting up the Benoit/Rhyno split anyway. That being said, it’s not like Rhyno and Benoit are guys in need of a big time split in the first place. It’s also not like the division is deep enough to be burning off teams, but why let that get in your way?

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Rikishi

The guys take turns twirling their partners around before we’re ready to go. Nidia slaps Rikishi so he shoves her down, which Cole says she deserved. Torrie shows off her ability to do some not great armdrags before sending her into the corner. It’s off to Rikishi for a Stinkface attempt but Noble comes in instead.

Rikishi misses a sitdown splash but knocks Noble around without too much trouble. Nidia is brought back in to face Torrie, meaning the announcers get to talk about her outfit. Some bad clotheslines set up a high crossbody for two on Nidia but Noble trips Torrie. That earns Noble a superkick and Nidia a Stinkface as this is still all about Rikishi. Torrie finishes with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D-. Total filler here and mainly a way to look at Torrie for a few minutes. I’ve heard worse ideas but it’s getting annoying having to watch her horrible matches while acting like she’s something great. Throw in the WAY too strong support for Rikishi and it’s not my favorite time of the show.

Rey says he’s healthy and ready to take the title. Eddie comes in and gives him a pep talk.

We recap the opening segment.

Vince is in Stephanie’s office where she asks what’s up with him lately. She threatens to give Gowan a contract anyway, but Vince promises to fire her if that happens. Yet he didn’t do that for Mr. America? Why not make it one of those Iron Clad contracts then? Anyway, Vince brings in his new assistant: Sable, who has seemingly forgotten the whole Torrie angle.

Stephanie brings up Sable’s lawsuits against the company (which I don’t believe has been acknowledged before) and suggests that Vince is only looking at Sable’s body. After Stephanie’s Stating the Obvious Segment of the Week, Vince says she’s just jealous of Sable’s looks.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Matt, who is taller than Rey Mysterio and despises traffic, is defending with Crash and Shannon Moore in his corner. We get the staredown and my goodness it’s weird to see Matt towering over someone. Matt works on a wristlock to start as we hear about various people holding the title over the years. You mean like Mysterio?

Rey gets bent around the ropes but comes right back with a slingshot dropkick through said ropes. A springboard is broken up with a forearm though and the goons get in their shots. The referee finally wakes up and we have a double ejection, which should make things a little bit better. The disgruntled Matt gets taken down by a springboard seated senton and we take a break. Back with Rey escaping Splash Mountain but getting caught by a low blow. Eh it worked for Cena so it can work for Matt.

The champ starts in on the recently injured groin (well, hamstring in this case) as Rey’s family is starting to panic. We hit a half crab for a bit until Rey dives for the ropes. He can’t run for the 619 though and gets taken into the corner to continue the beating. The Tree of Woe goes badly for Matt as his charge hits the post, followed by a spinning DDT for two on the champ. Rey heads up top but gets pulled down with a super Side Effect, which isn’t as impressive of a crash as you would have expected.

Back up and Rey grabs a Twist of Fate of his own before hobbling into a 619. They fall out to the floor though with Matt slowly remember what planet he’s on. The referee checks on Matt though, allowing Shannon and Crash to run back in for a double reverse suplex drop. The top rope legdrop gives Matt a close two. Hardy is livid and it’s a quick rollup to give Rey the pin and the title.

Rating: B. Good enough here, but it certainly didn’t feel like a cruiserweight match. Instead this came off like a regular heavyweight match which happened to have Mysterio involved. Not that Mysterio and Hardy can’t work that style, but if they can wrestle the regular style, what’s the point in having then in the cruiserweight division? Oh right: there’s no midcard title.

Rey’s family comes in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Better show than usual here, partially due to having the main event focused on ANYTHING other than the Mr. America nonsense. Mysterio winning the title felt like a big deal and Angle coming back was cool, though the bottom half of the card continues to feel completely unimportant. Good enough show though and miles better than anything Raw has produced in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – October 31, 2017: Rusev Day is Strangerer Than Halloween

Smackdown
Date: October 31, 2017
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

This almost has to be better. After last night’s rather lackluster Raw, we’re continuing the build towards Survivor Series. This week we have a pair of Survivor Series qualifying matches as Shinsuke Nakamura faces Kevin Owens and Bobby Roode meets Dolph Ziggler in a 2/3 falls match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up. He talks about how Smackdown has always been seen as the secondary show and the little brother to Raw. Then they went live and made the best of it with Daniel Bryan as General Manager, but they knew they had to do something to shake things up. That’s what caused them to invade Raw, because Smackdown has heart.

Shane talks about how Smackdown had to work harder than anyone else and thanks the roster and fans for everything they do. That brings Shane to last night when Daniel Bryan was attacked by Kane. It was a setup and Shane blames Stephanie McMahon and Kurt Angle. Survivor Series is coming and Shane is going to be the Smackdown team captain. Let’s get to some action though.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

2/3 falls. Ziggler wastes no time in trying some rollups for two, only to have Roode take him down with a clothesline out of the corner. The Blockbuster gets two more and Roode scores with a knee to the ribs. Ziggler hits a quick superkick though and gets the first fall at 3:44. Back from a break with the score being tied up as Roode sunset flipped him for a pin during the break at approximately 7:05.

They slug it out until Roode scores with a spinebuster for two more. The running DDT (without much contact) gives Ziggler another near fall and both guys are down again. Dolph reverses the Glorious DDT into the Zig Zag for two and they hit the rollups with handfuls of tights. Roode finally reverses into the Glorious DDT for the final pin at 11:29.

Rating: C-. Ho, and may I add hum. This was every bit as uninteresting of a match as these two have had yet and that’s a really bad sign. Their feud isn’t interesting and the matches aren’t anything special but for some reason we needed to see them fight this many times. Not terrible here, but I’m very glad Roode is moving on to anything else.

Post match Roode says he’s ready to fight and the next two teammates need to have the same level of passion and competitiveness that the three of them already have.

New Day is in the back, dressed as Jimmy Hart (Woods), Akeem (Big E.) and Brother Love (Kofi) when Rusev and Aiden English come in. Woods speaks in the high pitched voice and Kofi talks about how much he LOVES candy. Rusev takes their candy bucket away and thinks the people giving them candy could be spies from Raw. Halloween is for dumb children and the only holiday that matters is Rusev Day. Rusev CRUSHES the candy and Big E. challenges him to a match later.

Becky Lynch gives Team Smackdown a pep talk and Ellsworth, still on a leash, barks like a dog. Lynch sprays him with water until Natalya comes in to say she should be the captain. They’re all the weak links on the team, though Charlotte seems to be the one that worries Natalya most.

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

Non-title. Corbin goes for the mask to start and throws Cara outside. Cara saves his mask again and slides back inside to kick Corbin in the face. One heck of a forearm cuts off the comeback (Is it early enough for a comeback?) though and Corbin goes for the mask a third time. Cara gets all ticked off and sends Corbin outside for a beating. A spear to the back and more right hands to the head set up another spear over the announcers’ table. The referee throws it out at 2:59.

Cara throws a chair at Corbin, who bails into the crowd.

The Usos are ready to take care of Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose to show that they’re the A team of this B show. My goodness can we please stop with the brands suddenly hating each other stuff? Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin come in and say they get their title shot next week. Gable raps (work with me here) a bit about how they’re going to win the titles.

Here are the Singh Brothers to imitate Paul Heyman and introduce Jinder Mahal. Jinder comes out and says he’ll win at Survivor Series so that people will call him the Beastmaster.

AJ Styles vs. Samir Singh

Singh gets in a slap, only to be taken down and pummeled. The Styles Clash wraps it up at 36 seconds.

Post match Mahal beats AJ down by bending his back around the post, followed by some Khallases.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are AGHAST at the idea of Shane McMahon being the captain. Oh and what kind of man like Randy Orton would use a low blow to win a match? Owens promises to win tonight and lead Smackdown to victory.

The Bludgeon Brothers are coming.

Here are Aiden English and Rusev with the former singing about how much he hates Halloween because IT’S RUSEV DAY!

Rusev vs. Big E.

Big E. is still dressed as Akeem and grabs an early abdominal stretch to have Rusev in trouble. Some stomping sets up the dancing but Rusev pulls E. arm first over the ropes. The same arm goes into the post (Graves: “HAPPY RUSEV DAY!”) and we take a break with Graves being rather pleased.

Back with Rusev working on the arm (at least Rusev Day sees you still being logical) until Big E. comes back with the belly to belly suplexes. The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Rusev but English starts singing. Woods drowns him out with the trombone so Kofi chases him into the ring for a Big Ending. The distraction lets Rusev kick Big E. in the back of the head for the pin at 7:37.

Rating: D+. Just a match here though I’m glad they went with Rusev getting the win instead of going with the fun option. Throw in the fact that Big E. wrestled dressed like Akeem and things were even better. Of course ignore the fact that on HALLOWEEN, this is the only thing we’re doing, despite last night seeing a Halloween street fight. You know, on the night before Halloween.

Cara says he worked hard to get his mask and he’s not giving it up.

English and Rusev come into Shane’s office to get Rusev a spot on Team Smackdown. Shane is willing to give him a qualifying match against AJ Styles next week. Shane sings good luck.

It’s Fashion Files time and this week it’s Strangerer Things (I don’t watch Stranger Things so I’m going to miss most of the jokes/references here). This is subtitled Chapter Twenty: The Right Side Up. The bulletin board has a variety of tag teams posted and Fandango, who is dressed as a sheriff, feeds Eggos to someone in a tent. Tyler Breeze, in a pink dress and wig, comes in with a box of Uggos, making Fandango wonder who was in the tent. Viktor comes in to say it wasn’t him and the tent starts to shake. It’s Tye Dillinger, also in a dress, who says he’s not another eleven but rather a ten.

Konnor comes in dressed as some kind of a creature but says it’s just a costume. The lights go out and some Christmas lights appear around the picture of the Bludgeon Brothers. The lights flicker back on and the briefcase from a few weeks ago is back. This time though there’s a Saw like puppet, saying let the game begin.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura wastes no time in hammering away, knocking Owens to the floor with a hard shot. A whip sends Owens into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Owens pounding him down and grabbing a chinlock. A DDT gives Owens two and we hit the chinlock sequel. This version lasts a bit longer until Nakamura fires off kicks, including a big one to the head to really stagger Owens.

The knees in the corner have Owens in trouble but here’s Zayn for a distraction. It’s enough for Owens to reverse a superplex into the swinging fisherman’s superplex to put both guys down. The frog splash gives Owens two but here’s Randy Orton (with more hair than I’ve seen him have in years) to drop Sami onto the announcers’ table. The distraction lets Nakamura score with Kinshasa for the pin at 12:25.

Rating: C+. Like so many Nakamura matches, this was just him going through the motions and being someone who happens to be wrestling. There’s no fire to him and while this is a big win for his main roster career, it’s not exactly thrilling stuff. Then again, with a commercial in the middle and two people interfering, how good could it be?

Overall Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how much easier it is to sit through this show than Raw. This felt like a show where they were getting ready for a big pay per view while Raw felt like some big calamity with a bunch of stories and styles put together. It’s not a great show or anything but it had a goal and moved towards it, making this FAR easier to sit through than the red counterpart.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler – Glorious DDT

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest when they both brawled on the floor

AJ Styles b. Samir Singh – Styles Clash

Rusev b. Big E. – Kick to the back of the head

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6