Smackdown
Date: May 29, 2003
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a recap of the Vince vs. America shenanigans setting up tonight’s lie detector test.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sable to introduce the first match, but only after a quick shout out to….Tazz?

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

They’re never following up on Torrie kissing Sable are they? Before we get going, Zack Gowen is shown in the crowd. Torrie shoves Jamie Noble off the apron and chops away at Nidia to start, earning herself a knee to the ribs. Nidia grabs a suplex for two as they’ve already done more wrestling than I was expecting.

A shot to the knee has Torrie in trouble and Jamie shouts at Nidia to stay on her. The knee is slammed onto the apron and wrapped around the rope for good measure. Back in and they do the roll over the referee spot so the referee poses on the ropes. Jamie trips Torrie though, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D. This was their best way to open the show? I know it’s mainly for the visuals and I’d rather go with this than more of Vince vs. Hogan but they didn’t have any other options here? At least they got it out of the way I guess, but this really isn’t the best way to set the show off on a good foot.

Post match Tazz punches Jamie out and Torrie rips off Nidia’s shorts. Sable throws water at Tazz and bails to end this head scratch inducing segment.

Vince is annoyed that his limo driver has to move the limo out of a handicap zone. He orders said driver to stay right there because this shouldn’t take long.

Stephanie McMahon tests out the lie detector.

Team Angle wants to regain their titles in preparation for Kurt Angle’s return next week.

Eddie Guerrero has Tajiri in Guerrero gear and thinks he can feel some Latino Heat. Tajiri has even stolen his first car! He can even speak English too (which may be a first).

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Team Angle

Eddie and Tajiri are defending. Tajiri gets sent outside early on and it’s a double beating until Eddie elbows his way to freedom. A pop up dropkick puts Shelton down and it’s off to Tajiri for those hard kicks. Again: it’s a very simple style of action but he does it well enough to make it work.

Tajiri grabs a sunset flip and rolls Shelton around the ring to really dizzy him up. A double kick to the head gives us a double knockdown though and we take a break. Back with Shelton kicking the knee out (two matches in a row with knee work) to take over. Charlie comes in for a modified Indian Deathlock before it’s back to Shelton for a leglock of his own.

Eddie finally breaks up a half crab but the distraction just lets Shelton come back in sans tag. A headscissors finally gets Tajiri out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Eddie for a monkey flip. House is cleaned in a hurry and it’s time to roll some suplexes. The frog splash crushes Charlie with Shelton making the save. A double DDT takes Team Angle down and it’s the not as hot tag to Tajiri for kicks using the good leg.

Charlie reverses a tornado DDT into a northern lights suplex for two with Eddie making another save. Tajiri superkicks Charlie down and Eddie dives off the top onto Shelton. The Haas of Pain has Tajiri in trouble and the bell rings….because Eddie rang it himself. As the referee yells at the timekeeper, Eddie misses a belt shot. Charlie grabs the belt so Eddie drops to the mat, drawing a phantom DQ to retain the titles.

Rating: B+. I was digging the heck out of this one and the screwy finish was the best way they could have gone as it gives them a reason for another match. Tajiri is an upgrade over Chavo and plays a great partner to Eddie. The tease of a submission at the end worked very well and Eddie was feeling it here, which makes for a nearly instant classic.

Zack Gowen talks about wanting to live his dream but being here as a fan to watch the lie detector test.

The lie detector is set up in the middle of the ring and here’s Vince. McMahon recaps the whole double contract situation and mocks Gowen, who will never be allowed to wrestle here if America fails the lie detector. Here’s America with Vince ordering that he be strapped into the chair. It’s a simple system: ding means true, buzz means no.

We get straight to the questions: he’s Mr. America, he’s in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, Florida and he’s employed by Smackdown. Vince demands the question but America would like a drink of water before answering if he’s Hulk Hogan or not. He says no and that comes up true as well. They ask him again and it’s still not what Vince wants to hear. Vince: “It’s Hogan, Hogan, Hogan, Hogan, Hogan!” America: “NO NO NO NO NO!” Machine: “DING DING DING DING DING!”

That means he officially passes the test and Vince freaks out. He agrees to take his own test but America is getting to ask the questions. Vince is apparently a horrible pervert, a disrespected businessman who doesn’t do things for any fans all over the world, enjoys himself with Torrie Wilson’s Playboy (including in the limo on the way to the arena) and fantasizes about Mae Young. Vince is unhooked and America punches him out. See, now this is the kind of goofy, over the top comedy bit that the story should have been about. It’s not great but I’ve seen far less entertaining bits. More of this, less of America having matches.

Post break, Vince blames Stephanie for the whole thing. Things will change next week.

Chris Benoit vs. Sean O’Haire

Sean walks way in front of Roddy Piper, looking like he wants nothing to do with his mentor. Some early shots to the ribs have Benoit down in the corner but he grabs a dragon screw legwhip for a breather. That’s fine with Sean who takes Benoit down again into a chinlock. Back up and a DDT gives Benoit a breather, followed by a German suplex for two. Piper grabs the leg and actually gets caught in the Crossface. Sean makes a save and grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s a nice win for O’Haire but he desperately needs to get away from Piper. The pairing isn’t all that interesting in the first place and now Piper isn’t adding anything in the slightest. At least he got a big win here though and wasn’t squashed until the ending, which is somehow an improvement.

We look back at Rey Mysterio defeating Crash and Shannon Moore to earn a Cruiserweight Title shot, which will take place next week.

An injured Rey says he’ll be Cruiserweight Champion next week. He’s all fired up but here’s Matt Hardy to jump him from behind with a low blow.

Kurt Angle is back next week.

Ultimo Dragon is coming.

Rikishi/Spanky vs. Basham Brothers

This would be Doug and Danny’s debut and I still have no idea which is which. Doug and Rikishi start things off with Bashman being sent over the top in short order. Rikishi keeps cleaning house and it’s off to Spanky for a running forearm in the corner. Thankfully the Bashams finally take over and start hammering away with their pretty generic style of offense. An enziguri allows the hot tag to Rikishi, who cleans house with superkicks. The Bashams take a double Stinkface and it’s back to Spanky. A charge into the corner is countered though and Doug rolls him up with Danny adding extra leverage for the pin.

Rating: F. This was more about pushing Rikishi than anything else. He cleaned house multiple times and hit his embarrassing signature move on the newcomers. The Bashams look like a pair of clowns who won on a fluke while Rikishi looks like a world beater. Terrible debut and the team is in trouble from the start.

Vince’s limo is towed and Gowen shows up to gloat. Who knew that regular fans had access to Vince’s limo?

Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. FBI

This is your main event people. Hang on a second though as this is a handicap match but Nunzio is in street clothes. He’s injured after last week so we have a replacement Italian.

Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. Chuck Palumbo/Johnny Stamboli/Big Show

Undertaker slugs Show down to start but it’s Palumbo stomping at Undertaker in the corner. That just earns him Old School so it can be off to Lesnar for the house cleaning. Brock shrugs off some double teaming and hands it back to Undertaker to work on Stamboli. The running DDT plants Stamboli again so it’s off to Show for the real showdown.

Brock comes in instead and takes a heck of a clothesline to the chest. It’s too early for a chokeslam but Brock has to beat up the Italians. The chokeslam gets two on Lesnar and it’s the Italians double teaming on the floor. Back in and the beating continues as Lesnar is selling too much for the FBI.

A clothesline takes Palumbo down and it’s a hot tag off to undertaker to dominate. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Palumbo and there’s the dragon sleeper on Show. Nunzio’s save with a chair only annoys Undertaker so there’s a chokeslam. Palumbo breaks it up so it’s back to back for the Italians, only to have the chokeslam end Lesnar.

Rating: D+. So yeah, we’re actually heading towards Lesnar vs. Show again, just in case we didn’t get the point last time. They really need to elevate someone already as this isn’t getting anyone anywhere. Where does this leave Undertaker? Facing the Italians? That’s the best they’ve got? The match was fun while it lasted at least, but Show vs. Lesnar again does nothing for me.

Overall Rating: C+. The tag match more than carries this one and the lie detector segment was a lot better than I was expecting. Smackdown is in a better place than Raw at the moment as they have some pieces to put together but they don’t know the order yet. I’ll take that over thinking Kevin Nash is their best option any day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: October 24, 2017
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

So this show looked one way coming into last night but has now completely changed. This week’s show was focused on the return of Shane McMahon, but last night Shane led most of the roster in an attack on the Monday Night Raw roster. That’s likely to be the focus tonight, and really it’s all they could do. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last night’s Smackdown invasion.

Here’s Shane to open the show. He learned a long time ago that if you’re going into a fight, you have to strike first. Everything started last night when Kurt Angle said that AJ wasn’t exactly being challenged around here and was too big of a talent for Smackdown. That only added fuel to the fire and it was time for all of that to erupt.

Now it’s Sami Zayn dancing out to annoy Shane all over again. After a few insults each, Sami says he and Owens are willing to lead Team Smackdown at Survivor Series. They’ll take the load as they always do and they’re ready to do it again. Shane says not so fast though, as Sami has to face someone else and the winner will be on the team. The opponent: Randy Orton. Good segment here to tie the two big stories together, especially with Shane not being gung ho about having Sami on the team.

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable vs. New Day

The Usos are on commentary and going insane as Chad runs Xavier over to start. It’s quickly off to Shelton and Kofi with Kingston being knocked off the apron in a heap as we take a break. Back with Chad keeping Woods in trouble and handing it off to Shelton for a double suplex. Woods kicks Benjamin in the ribs though and knees him in the head for two. Back up and it’s off to Chad, who sends Woods into the ropes for a kick from Shelton and the pin at 7:56.

Rating: D+. I’ll never understand the mentality of a match this short needing a break in the middle. The match wasn’t terrible and it’s a good idea to put Gable and Benjamin over a better team who gave the Usos such a run for their money in recent months. This was much more about setting up the future than anything else and that’s fine.

The women’s division is in Daniel Bryan’s office when Bryan says they’ll all be on the team. Well not Lana of course. As for the leader though, tonight we’ll be having a fatal five way to determine the captain.

It’s Fashion Files time but this week it’s the Fashion Dogs (Reservoir Dogs). Breezango are in suits with the Ascension following close behind. They’re both Mr. Pink (Tickled and Hot respectively) but for some reason Ascension has kidnapped James Ellsworth. He’s been seen with a briefcase so they’re going to cut his chin off (with plastic silverware).

Carmella comes in with the Money in the Bank briefcase….which contains Ellsworth’s rather dirty underwear. She and Ellsworth leave and Breezango says the case is solved. Ascension says not so fast because they haven’t solved a thing. Konnor still thinks 2B is the Bludgeon Brothers but Breeze says there’s no B in Brothers. After a few glares, he realizes that the B is silent. Next week: Strangerer Things.

Bryan and Shane are in the back and Daniel isn’t pleased that Shane didn’t consult him about last night. Wait….so we’re almost an hour into this show and these two haven’t spoken all day?

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

Non-title and a rematch from last week where Cara won via countout. Corbin throws him across the ring to start and the beating is on in a hurry. A boot to the face staggers Corbin and a springboard elbow to the head drops Baron again. There’s a pair of suicide dives but Corbin unloads on him in the corner, drawing a DQ at 2:31.

Post match Corbin hits End of Days on the floor.

More highlights of last night’s attack, featuring some gloating comments from the Smackdown wrestlers.

Here are the Singh Brothers to introduce Jinder Mahal. The champ doesn’t like what Paul Heyman said last night and we see a few clips. Mahal says he’s earned everything he’s received here and now he’s the most powerful man in WWE. He’s going to prove himself at Survivor Series when he defeats the Beast. As for tonight, Sunil Singh will take care of AJ Styles.

AJ Styles vs. Sunil Singh

The Calf Crusher ends Singh in 34 seconds.

Kevin Owens comes up to Sami in the locker room and says he has a qualifying match of his own next week. His opponent: Shinsuke Nakamura. They’re both happy to run the team and all is well.

Mahal storms into Bryan’s office and says Sumir Singh wants to face AJ next week. The match is made.

Carmella vs. Tamina vs. Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Charlotte

One fall to a finish with the winner becoming captain at Survivor Series. Natalya comes out to watch as everyone brawls to start. Tamina plants Carmella with a Samoan drop and we take an early break. Back with the brawl on the floor and Lana offering a distraction to Charlotte, allowing Tamina to take over. Carmella, Naomi and Becky fight over a rollup until Naomi is sent into the corner. A superkick gives Carmella some near falls but Becky grabs the Disarm-Her for the tap at 7:14.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to do much (again, because there was a commercial in a match that doesn’t even run eight minutes. Throw in the fact that this is ANOTHER match where most of the division is thrown together instead of actually letting something build up for a change. This division is getting worse and worse every week and that’s hard to fathom.

Video on the Bludgeon Brothers.

Dolph Ziggler cuts off Renee Young’s interview and says we can just cut to the cool catchphrase. He does a little Rock before saying he told us so. Roode is nothing but an entrance and a fraud who can’t handle the greatest performer in WWE history. Bobby comes up and says they’ve traded wins so next week, let’s make it 2/3 falls. The match is on and Roode thinks it’s going to be glorious.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Sami Zayn vs. Randy Orton

Sami takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean break. Orton is right back with a hard uppercut, which the fans seem to like. They head outside with Orton getting kicked in the face, only to send Sami into the barricade. That’s fine with Zayn, who moonsaults off said barricade and we take a break.

Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock and blocking a suplex. Instead he takes Sami outside for the belly to back suplex onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. Sami’s high crossbody gets the same and a kick to the head puts Orton down again. He takes too long heading up top though and it’s a heck of a superplex to bring Zayn back down.

The tornado DDT through the ropes plants Orton on the floor but Orton is right back with the hanging DDT. Cue Kevin Owens for a distraction so Sami can grab a rollup….for two. Orton goes low to make up for last week and it’s the RKO to give Randy the pin and the spot on the team at 13:14.

Rating: C+. Sami wrestling as a heel is a really nice change of pace for him and something that is long overdue. At the very least he’s able to show off how great of a performer he is, which is something that we haven’t seen in a very long time. Orton winning makes sense if Owens loses next week as Sami and Kevin can do something to screw up Smackdown’s chances, as they should.

Shane and Bryan are in the back. There was no Raw attack tonight, but Bryan knows one is coming.

Overall Rating: C. This was kind of a letdown after last night with no followup from Raw as we move into a standard episode of Smackdown. Sami and Owens vs. Shane and Bryan is fine enough, though I don’t exactly see either of them in a match against the evil Canadians. It’s not a bad show but it’s not what people were hoping to see this week.

Results

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable b. New Day – Kick to Woods’ back

Sin Cara b. Baron Corbin via DQ when Corbin attacked in the corner

AJ Styles b. Sunil Singh – Calf Crusher

Becky Lynch b. Charlotte, Tamina, Carmella and Naomi – Disarm-Her to Carmella

Randy Orton b. Sami Zayn – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 22, 2003
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a recap of Mr. America vs. Roddy Piper on Sunday with America and Zach Gowen getting one up on Vince McMahon.

Vince is in the back and marches to the arena. He sounds livid as he talks about being sick of all these mistakes going on around here. It all started when Mr. America got an iron clad contract and has snowballed from there. While he’s failed to prove that America is Hulk Hogan, tonight Vince is taking over and you’ll see his fingerprints all over the show (his words).

Opening sequence, now in black and white and a slower paced theme. Rather catchy one indeed.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Team Angle

Team Angle is challenging in their rematch from Sunday. Tajiri and Benjamin start things off with Shelton taking him down in short order. Back up with Tajiri sliding his way out and dropping a knee on the now legal Haas. Eddie comes in to break up a double suplex and a double backbreaker puts Team Angle on the floor. It’s off to Eddie to clean house, including a middle rope spinning armdrag that he can make look perfectly smooth.

Tajiri comes in and kicks at Charlie’s back but Charlie hits something like a spear. Not that it matters as it’s back to Eddie almost immediately. That means a bunch of suplexes as everything breaks down, including Tajiri diving onto Team Angle as we take a break. Back with a sunset flip/neckbreaker combination getting two on Eddie, followed by a cravate to keep things slow.

That goes nowhere so they head up top where Eddie breaks up a superplex attempt but the frog splash hits knees. We hit the abdominal stretch on Eddie until Charlie’s takedown (kind of like a spinebuster) gets two. Shelton jumps over Charlie onto Eddie’s back for two but he fights up with a wristdrag/headscissors combination to put both of them down.

The hot tag brings in Tajiri to clean house and a tornado DDT gets two on Shelton. The dragon whip drops Tajiri but Eddie hits the referee with a chair, only to throw said chair to Haas. That’s enough for a DQ from the somehow conscious referee and the titles are retained.

Rating: B. Really good match here with the ending being the right call. Having Eddie cheat to retain the titles makes the most sense, especially since it’s hard to imagine them losing the belts this early. Tajiri is a fine replacement partner and they have the chance to set up someone else as big time challengers.

We look back at Zach Gowen debuting last week.

Vince runs into Stephanie and promises that things are getting out of control.

Here’s Vince for another chat as I’m noticing a theme here. The boss is disappointed in the lack of America unmasking on Sunday and that means he wants an apology from Roddy Piper. Cue Piper and Sean O’Haire with Roddy actually apologizing in short order. Vince slaps him in the face and the coat comes off, only to have Sean cut things off. He’ll take the blame for Sunday but tonight, he wants Mr. America. Piper LOVES the idea and Vince makes the match, but with a stipulation. If O’Haire loses, Piper is fired.

Kurt Angle is back in two weeks.

John Cena vs. Spanky

Before the match, Cena doesn’t think much of Spanky ripping off his gimmick. Spanky charges at him and hits a one footed dropkick Cena slams him down though and grabs a snap suplex for two. A hard throw sends Spanky into the corner for two more and Cena scores with a delayed vertical suplex. Spanky scores with an enziguri for two but it’s the shoulder block and an FU to give Cena the pin.

Rating: C-. Spanky was energetic as usual and that’s what matters more than anything else in his case. When you have someone who is willing to do pretty much anything you ask him, it’s quite the valuable asset. Spanky has gone from annoying to a fun character where I want to see what he does every week. Cena winning was the right call though as he’s going to be a bigger deal in the short and long term.

Stills of Sunday’s stretcher match.

The FBI is ready to face Brock Lesnar later tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy

Opening sequence. Rey Mysterio is on commentary while Matt, who likes his steak medium well and has more teeth than Chris Benoit, makes his entrance. Matt slaps Benoit’s hand away and we have a very loud screeching reaction. Benoit knocks him into the corner though and it’s time to crank on the arm. With Chris in control, that little MF’er offers a distraction though and Matt a Side Effect for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before a suplex gets two on Benoit. A neckbreaker gets two more for Matt and we hit the front facelock. That goes nowhere so the non-yodeling legdrop gives Matt another near fall. Back up and a double collision puts both guys down for a bit. Benoit grabs a snap suplex for two and a catapult sends Matt into the post. There’s the Swan Dive and Rey takes care of Shannon, allowing the Crossface to give Chris the clean win.

Rating: B-. Matt loses again but at least it was in a good match. Working the neck made perfect sense and was a fine story to build things around, though Benoit needs something to do. Matt vs. Rey seems to be set in stone for the near future but Benoit is just kind of there at the moment, which isn’t the best use of him.

Post match Matt says Rey can have a title shot if he beats Shannon and Crash right now.

Rey Mysterio vs. Shannon Moore/Crash

Joined in progress with Rey sending Shannon outside and headscissoring Crash down as well. Shannon breaks up the 619 and Crash backdrops him out to the floor. Something like a double flapjack gets two on Rey but he comes right back with a double DDT. Shannon is sent outside and a top rope seated senton takes Crash down. Back up and Rey seems to be favoring his groin and is having trouble running the ropes. The 619 sets up a middle rope West Coast Pop to get rid of Shannon, despite his foot being on the ropes. Since this is apparently under elimination rules, a quick hurricanrana pins Crash as well.

Rating: D+. There’s a chance that the injury slowed things down here but all that matters is Rey being able to face Matt and win the title in the near future. This hardly felt like a challenge for Mysterio anyway as he absorbed the duo’s offense and winning the match without breaking much of a sweat.

Post match Matt beats up both guys as Rey is carried out.

Stephanie has a sitdown interview with Zach Gowen, who receives an apology for what happened last week. Gowen had cancer when he was a kid and the leg was amputated to prevent it from stretching. He grew up with his mom as his father bailed when Gowen was four. Make-A-Wish came to him when he was in the hospital and he would have wanted to meet Hulk Hogan but he (Gowen) declined because he was going to live. Next up though: he wants to be a professional wrestler. He’s been training as of late and hopes to wrestle here on Smackdown. Stephanie says anything can happen.

Vince is seething.

Post break, Vince comes up to Mr. America and says if he loses tonight, he has to undergo a lie detector test next week. America says no but Vince calls him a coward, which makes America change his mind. Vince goes into a RANT, shouting about how America will be proven to be a liar next week. That’s more intense than he usually gets and it worked quite well.

Brock Lesnar vs. Johnny Stamboli

The entire FBI jumps Johnny to start until it’s one on one for the opening bell. Brock drives him hard into the corner and scores with a fall away slam. The rest of the team gets in a little offense on the floor though and Stamboli stomps away for two. Brock misses a charge into the corner and Stamboli grabs a cross armbreaker to keep things slow. Lesnar fights up with a powerbomb and gets all fired up, drawing in the rest of the FBI for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was short and there wasn’t enough time for it to go anywhere. Well that and the match being Brock vs. Stamboli. You can’t get anywhere with someone like that challenging a monster like Lesnar and for the life of me, I have no idea why the FBI is getting protected like this. Haven’t they run their course yet?

The beatdown is on post match until the Undertaker makes his return for the save.

Here’s Sable for a chat about being in Raw Magazine and then about….Tazz? She’s not cool with Tazz picking Torrie Wilson as the winner of the bikini contest and gets on the desk to look down at him. After gyrating a bit, Sable pours water over his head and Tazz is REALLY not cool with that one.

Vince tells O’Haire to take his time tonight and explains the lie detector concept.

Mr. America vs. Sean O’Haire

America has Gowen with him and O’Haire has Piper. O’Haire shoves him down to start and does it again to prove his point. Back up and America does the same, meaning it’s time for some posing. American’s offense is cut off by Piper grabbing his boot and a slam gets two. Some kicks to the chest set up a chinlock on America and we’re stuck there for a good while.

America fights up and no sells a spinning kick to the face, meaning it’s America Up time. Piper gets knocked off the apron and the legdrop connects but Piper grabs America’s leg again. Cue Vince with a bunch of cops to arrest Gowen for his actions on Sunday (egads) so America goes outside to help his buddy. That’s enough for a countout though as O’Haire wins to end the show.

Rating: D-. If this is the best they can do to elevate O’Haire, they’re in more trouble than I thought they were. Almost half of the match was spent on the Vince angle and the other stuff wasn’t all that good in the first place. Vince didn’t need to be back again but when he’s the focus of the show, he’s REALLY the focus of the show. Terrible main event here, as you kind of had to expect.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling helps a lot here but there’s not much of a way around the Mr. America stuff dominating the show. Lesnar vs. the FBI and Sable vs. Torrie aren’t any better but at least we had some good matches to carry things. This was far better than anything at the pay per view and that’s a nice breath of air for the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 17, 2017
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Michael Cole

It’s time to start getting ready for Survivor Series and if you’ve seen the rumors, you know what the big match seems to be. The previews for the show suggest that A, they’re announcing it tonight and that B, they’re actually going through with it. Hopefully I’m wrong though and we won’t be subjected to that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s General Manager Daniel Bryan for the big home state reception. The fans chant WELCOME HOME and Bryan finally has to say the show is only two hours long. After previewing some of the show, Bryan wants to talk about Sami Zayn. This brings out a dancing Sami to face off with Bryan. Daniel asks what happened to the Sami he’s known for over thirteen years.

Sami says he’s the same guy but he’s taken control of his career again. Bryan gets the idea but Sami cuts him off. It’s true that there are similarities, such as them being great in-ring performers. Sami: “Well, I still am.” Management never liked either of them either, but Daniel had the fans. The difference is the fans never got behind Sami like they did with Bryan. They didn’t uphold their end of the bargain. If Daniel had worked a little smarter instead of a little harder, he wouldn’t have had to retire in this very arena.

Bryan was the performer of Sami’s generation and every time Sami started catching up to him, Bryan jumped two more steps ahead. Now Sami would never want to be like Bryan: a retired housewife. Cue Kevin Owens to say the same things until Bryan says he and Shane McMahon did what was best for the fans. Owens doesn’t buy this and says Bryan is doing what’s best for business, which makes him the authority. Sami calls him a sellout and thanks Owens from becoming what Bryan is now. Bryan leaves, saying he’s going to find a couple of dudes to punch them in the face.

We recap Charlotte’s issues with Natalya.

Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Natalya/Tamina/Lana

Carmella is at ringside with James Ellsworth on a leash. Naomi slaps Natalya in the face to start and it’s time for a huddle on the floor. A slingshot dive takes out Natalya and Tamina as Lana looks on and yells a lot. Back in and Becky works on Natalya’s arm before dropping a leg for two.

We come back from a break with Lana coming in and grabbing a suplex for one. Naomi gets pulled into the villain corner for some stomping as Charlotte plays cheerleader on the apron. A kick to Lana’s chest allows the hot tag off to Charlotte and house is cleaned with some chops (Lana has no idea how to sell them). We get the strut as everything breaks down, including a Figure Eight to make Lana tap at 8:43.

Rating: D+. Lana may be stunning but she’s not a great in-ring performer. At the end of the day, you just need more ring time than she has and the only way to get that is to be in the ring. That’s not going to do her much good in a place like this, which is why she needed more time in developmental. Or we can just write her off as a failure and go from there.

Post match Natalya grabs a chair but Charlotte uses one of her own to chase them off.

Bryan tells Sami and Kevin that everyone wants to punch them in the face. Therefore, tonight it’s going to be Sami/Owens vs. Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura. Bryan does the Nakamura pose and Owens isn’t happy.

It’s time for Pulp Fashion, which should be amazing to put it mildly. Ascension is now in the opening credits, along with the cast of Pulp Fiction, who will NOT be in this show. The bulletin board is full of Quentin Tarantino references, including John Cena as Mr. Orange. The Ascension is being interrogated with Fandango telling them to be cool like the Fonz. Konnor: “Like when he jumped the shark?” Viktor: “They already did.”

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

Corbin cuts off Sin Cara’s entrance and says the US Open Challenge is done for good. Cara wastes no time in kicking Corbin to the floor for a suicide dive. A big dive off the top takes Corbin down again….and Cara wins by countout at 1:22.

The Usos are talking about having the tag division on lock when Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin come up and rap about how they’ll win the titles soon. The champs go for a handshake but Gable and Benjamin pull the hands away.

Video on the Bludgeon Brothers.

Video on Jinder Mahal in India.

Here are the Singh Brothers and Jinder Mahal for a big announcement about Survivor Series. When he was in India, a young boy asked him what was next. After defeating Orton and Nakamura multiple times, the question was who he would face next. Even after those wins, he doesn’t receive the level of respect that he should on Smackdown Live. The fans chant YOU CAN’T WRESTLE but Mahal just holds up the title. In order to achieve respect, Mahal must defeat the undefeatable, which means he wants to face Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series. Cole: “Are you kidding me?”

This brings out AJ Styles to a rather nice reception. AJ doesn’t care about Lesnar, but rather about Mahal saying he’s beaten all of the worthy challengers on the show. Mahal calls him a loser, which AJ says means there should be no worries about a title defense then. AJ is called a joke so the beating is on with AJ cleaning house in short order.

Post break, Mahal demands that Bryan make AJ vs. Sumil Singh for next week. Bryan is fine with this.

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rematch from Hell in a Cell. Bobby takes it to the floor and drives Ziggler into the barricade as we take a break. Back (after one WWE2K18 ad, meaning it’s not even a full commercial break) with Roode fighting out of a chinlock and grabbing a catapult into the corner for a double knockdown. A running forearm and swinging Rock Bottom get two on Ziggler. They trade rollups with tights until Ziggler gets another and grabs the trunks for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. Oh my goodness this is continuing. The match being short helped a little bit but this feud (Can anyone explain what the issue here even is? Something about Ziggler thinking Roode is all flash and no substance I think?) is turning into one where they’re fighting now because they’ve fought before and that’s not a good thing.

Pay per view rundown.

Aiden English is singing and is annoyed when people aren’t paying attention to him. New Day comes in with the trombone and a party breaks out. Rusev comes in to declare it his day again. Kofi: “Again? Time to celebrate!” Woods plays Rusev’s theme on the trombone and New Day dances off. English starts singing that it’s Rusev Day but Rusev cuts him off. I’m assuming a tag match next week.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

Sami works on Nakamura’s wrist to start but gets sent into the ropes for a COME ON. Some kicks in the corner have Zayn in trouble and it’s off to Orton. That goes nowhere so here’s Owens for the slugout instead. Everything breaks down for a few seconds and it’s Owens posting Orton, followed by a fall away slam into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Nakamura loading Owens onto the top for the running knee but Sami makes the save. The knee crashes into the buckle and Nakamura is in trouble. After a quick mocking of Orton, Owens gets two off the backsplash.

We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Nakamura kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Orton. Everything breaks down with Orton dropping Orton onto the barricade and blocking a Zayn dive. Sami gets suplexed through the announcers’ table but Owens makes a save at two. Nakamura comes back in and takes care of Owens, leaving Sami to charge into the scoop powerslam. Sami hits Orton low and the Helluva Kick is good for the pin at 13:02.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard main event tag here and that’s a good thing in this case. Sami getting the pin through nefarious means is a great way to start off the new heel run. The wrestling wasn’t all that great, but at least they had a good ending with Sami being especially evil to give him the first win.

Post break Owens and Zayn laugh at Bryan, but there’s a big surprise: Shane is back next week. Back in the arena, Orton and Nakamura aren’t happy but Owens and Sami come back in to celebrate (Owens: “Hug me! Hold me close!”) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m digging the heck out of this new Sami run, especially with he and Owens being all happy with the fact that Shane is back next week. Owens already destroyed him and I’m glad that he really wasn’t all that scared. The rest of the show worked well too and it’s cool to see things picking up after so many horrible weeks.

Results

Charlotte/Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Lana/Tamina/Natalya – Figure Eight to Lana

Sin Cara b. Baron Corbin via countout

Dolph Ziggler b. Bobby Roode – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens b. Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura – Helluva Kick to Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 15, 2003
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and I have my notebook ready for all the questions I have regarding the Mr. America storyline. Given how little sense the whole thing makes if you listen to what everyone says, I’m likely to leave far more confused than I was when I came in. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon opens things up and he’s SURE who Mr. America is. No one could possibly question the fact that Mr. America is Hulk Hogan. See, Mr. America doesn’t uphold traditional American values because he’s deceiving everyone around here. After pausing for the WHAT chants, Vince complains about Hogan getting two checks (which would likely be signed by Vince himself, making me wonder who he signs American’s checks to) and on top of that, Mr. America doesn’t care that he batters women.

We see a clip of America knocking Vince into Stephanie, though Vince blames her for it just as much. He’s not going to deal with Hogan himself though because we’re having an open contract at Judgment Day with someone getting to deal with Hogan him/themselves. Cue the FBI of all people with Nunzio offering their services to deal with Mr. America. He even has a video resume of their greatest hits and Johnny promises to be on Hogan like baked on ziti. They’ll go talk about it over coffee while Palumbo has a match.

This was WAY too long and really just established that America will have a match on Sunday and the FBI of all people are getting involved. The FBI isn’t interesting and are just a step above a Three Stooges sketch. Ignoring the fact that they might make for a better match for Mr. American than Vince or Roddy Piper, this was a really long waste of time.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Rikishi

Palumbo stomps away in the corner but accidentally hits Johnny in the face. A belly to belly gives Rikishi two but Johnny trips him up again. The superkick gives Palumbo two, only to have Rikishi’s version knock him into the corner. Johnny breaks up the Stinkface and gets pulled inside, allowing Palumbo to hit a second superkick (in just over three minutes) for the pin.

Rating: D-. So Rikishi is now dealing with the FBI and having bad matches at the same time. At least it’s better than wasting people like Chris Benoit on them, though it would be nice if Benoit actually had anything interesting to do at the moment. At least he wouldn’t use three superkicks in the same match. He’s not a Young Buck after all.

Post match Brock Lesnar arrives and comes to the ring to give Palumbo an F5 in retaliation for last week.

Stephanie cuts Brock off in the back and explains a stretcher match to him in that classic Stephanie style of speech that no one ever uses in the real world. I know most wrestlers do that but no one can make it sound as robotic as she can.

Mr. America visited some wounded troops.

Torrie Wilson comes out to show us one bikini she’s considering for Sunday. As usual she looks great but I still don’t know why I’m supposed to want to pay to see her in another one when she’s in Playboy at the moment.

Stephanie is admiring two sets of flowers (one red and yellow, the other red and white) when Vince comes in. He would have gotten Mr. America’s mask off last week if not for her screwing up so he accepts her apology. She’s not apologizing though because she’s gotten flowers from Hogan and America. Stephanie is leaving because Vince has everything under control tonight. Vince breaks both vases.

Clip of Rey Mysterio being injured at Backlash. He’s back for an interview tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Tajiri

Matt, who thinks Tajiri weighs too much to be a cruiserweight and can eat more sushi than him, is defending with Shannon Moore and Crash in his corner. Tajiri snapmares him down to start but gets jumped from behind. The kicks have Matt in trouble but Tajiri has to deal with Shannon, allowing Matt to hang him over the top rope. The Side Effect sets up an abdominal stretch from the champ, only to have Tajiri kick him down again. Rapid fire strikes have Matt in trouble and there’s the handspring elbow for good measure. Crash breaks up the Tarantula though and it’s the Twist of Fate to retain Matt’s title.

Rating: D+. Perfectly fine match here but there’s only so much you can do with four minutes and three people fighting Tajiri at the same time. Tajiri continues to be one of the most consistent guys on the roster and could do a lot more if he was given the chance. At least he did well while he was out there.

Matt says he has the Mattributes to take care of Mr. America because that story is now invading the cruiserweights.

Eddie Guerrero, wearing the gold medal, is talking to a framed Kurt Angle photo and talks about Chavo being injured in a match overseas. There’s no reason to worry though because he’s Latino Heat. He even puts a mustache and beard on Angle’s face.

Stephanie runs into Mr. America as she’s leaving and asks him to thank Hogan for him. She even throws in a kiss on the cheek.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Cena wants to face Mr. America so he can turn him back into the Hulk so quick you’ll think his name is Bill Bixby. As for Benoit, instead of the Canadian Crippler, he’ll be the crippled Canadian. Benoit wastes no time in driving him into the corner before getting one off a backbreaker. A heck of a chop has Cena clutching his chest but he’s still able to send Benoit shoulder first into the post. The ensuing armbar makes sense but Benoit is right back up with a chop and a snap suplex.

Cue the FBI to distract Benoit so Cena can knock him outside, earning themselves a quick ejection. Back from a break with Cena holding a chinlock and getting two off a shoulder. Cena stomps on the leg but gets sent into the middle buckle off a drop toehold. There’s the first German suplex into the Swan Dive but Nunzio runs in. Benoit gets rid of him in a hurry and reverses the FU into the Crossface, only to have Johnny the Bull come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. What does it say that this is pretty easily the best match I’ve seen on WWE TV this week? Above all else, it’s two guys having a match and actually trying for a change, which is a lot more than you can say about almost anything that happens on Raw. Is it that much to ask for some effort in these matches?

Rhyno and Spanky come in to help Benoit clean house.

Video on the UK tour.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with Sean O’Haire backing Piper again. Piper talks about the contract because this is the biggest story in the world at the moment. Some people want to collect the bounty for their careers and some people want to do it to suck up to Vince. Well Piper is going to do it because he hates Hogan.

This brings out Mr. America, who hands the flag to a guy in the front row, which sounds like a plot point. America gets why Piper has issues with Hogan because he remembers Hogan beating Piper up when he was a kid. He’s cool with the match with Piper because I guess Mr. America gets to decide who collects bounties on him. Piper says Hogan has never beaten him 1-2-3 (yes he has) and goes on a rant about the kid waving the flag. Sean goes outside to deal with the kid, allowing Piper to jump America from behind.

America fights back but Sean makes the save, only to have the fan jump the barricade and prevent the mask from being taken off. A spear takes the fan down and Piper chokes away, only to yank off his artificial leg. That freaks Piper out and the villains leave. Oh don’t worry about it. Nash did it on purpose in 1996 and he’s main eventing the pay per view on Sunday. Sean even yells at Piper because cheating on your wife or whatever his thing of the week was ok but attacking an adult fan who jumped you from behind? Not cool bro.

After the entrances to the next match, Vince yells at Piper and O’Haire for messing with a fan like that. Sean: “Mr. McMahon, I had nothing to do with this.” YOU SPEARED HIM DOWN SO PIPER COULD BEAT HIM UP! Vince tells them to stay there while he makes up his mind about what he’s going to do. Piper stands there, which is way out of character for him. Vince leaves and Sean blames Piper for what happened because his career is on the line.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie has the picture of Angle and comes out in a sombrero. Shelton takes Eddie down and yells a lot before hitting a forearm to the face. A chinlock slows things down but Eddie is right back up with a middle rope hurricanrana. One heck of a powerbomb plants Eddie for two but also kickstarts his comeback with a couple of dropkicks. Right hands in the corner set up the rolling suplexes but here’s Charlie Haas with a ladder. The distraction lets Shelton hit a superkick for the pin. That’s totally different than the finish to the opener. This one had a ladder you see.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean anything and having the same finish used in two out of four matches is about as pitiful as you can get. Agents should be smarter than that and able to come up with a better finish. If nothing else just ask Eddie what he thinks would work here, as I’m sure he can come up with something other than distraction into a superkick.

Eddie fights them both off and busts the picture over Shelton’s head.

Piper and O’Haire haven’t moved when Vince comes back in. He buys Sean caring about what happened (as the most interesting part of his character is erased) but Piper doesn’t care at all. That’s just what Vince wants though and that’s why he’s facing Hogan on Sunday. My goodness they’re actually going there and Vince is actually saying Piper is better than John Cena, the Cruiserweight Champion (and his minions) or the FBI. And people wonder why the future was so bleak.

And now, the Miss Elizabeth piece from Confidential. She passed away from a cause that wasn’t determined yet (because it was less than two weeks ago when this aired) and Vince says she was just a commodity in WCW. They talk about her career, the battery charges from Lex Luger, and then her death. In probably the lowest point since….oh I’d think the Melanie Pillman interview, we hear the actual 911 call of Luger saying she wasn’t breathing. I’m not even sure how to respond to that so we’ll move on. This is of course edited off the Network version.

And now, after hearing a 911 call of a woman dying earlier in the month, Sable comes out and shows off her own bikini. Now pay up if you want to see it again!

Pay per view rundown.

It’s time for the Mysterio interview. First of all, he’ll be back in the ring in a few weeks and he wants the Cruiserweight Title. He didn’t think he’d be able to wrestle again and he wondered if that was it when he was laying in the ambulance. Rey isn’t sure about ever facing Big Show again….and Big Show kidnaps him.

Post break Show brings Rey out to the ring while carrying a backboard in the other hand. Rey tries to fight back and manages a 619, only to get caught in something like a Samoan drop. Lesnar runs out to save Rey from the chokeslam and beats Show down with the board. The F5 connects but Tazz sees a problem: Show is too big to be put on a stretcher! HOW WILL BROCK SURVIVE??? Rey adds in a bulldog to drop Show and then hides behind Brock to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I only have one question this week: how did the Mr. America storyline manage to take over even more of the show??? Lesnar vs. Big Show isn’t interesting but I’ll take it over America vs. Piper and Vince running down most of his heels to say that Piper is the best option he has to take Hogan out. There was some passable wrestling on the show this week but the stories are just killing anything that might be seen as positive. Another bad show this week as Mr. America vs. Vince is swallowing the show alive.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 10, 2017
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

We’re past the Cell and that means it’s time to get ready for Survivor Series. The big story though is Sami Zayn seemingly turning to join Kevin Owens, though the reasoning could be very interesting. Other than that we have Jinder Mahal in need of a new challenger as he’s still the Smackdown World Champion. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video on the end of Shane vs. Owens, including Sami saving Kevin.

Opening sequence.

Here are the very sore Usos to open things up. They knew something would change inside the Cell and now they have something to say to New Day. The trio comes out and the five of them make it very clear: they’re the best tag teams Smackdown has to offer. Every time they get together, it’s Ali vs. Frazier in the biggest match in the world.

These people didn’t see the Usos limping to the next town and walking to the hotel where the people ask them if they’re going to be ok. They have to tell their kids that everything is fine and then they go to the next town. No one but New Day understands that and that means they respect the three of them. Handshakes are loaded up but here are the Hype Bros to interrupt.

Mojo Rawley complains about the same teams dominating every week. Jimmy: “Mojo, go sit on the sidelines like you did for your NFL career.” Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable come out to say they’re the ones at the front of the line. The Usos are impressed by Shelton’s credentials but say go to the back of the line.

Cue Breezango and then the Ascension with Breezango asking them to stop following them. The Usos say they’re going to lock up the other teams. Well save for Breezango because they’re cool. Jimmy: “I like the Fashion Files too.” This brings out Daniel Bryan to say this isn’t a good night. The four teams that want shots can have a fatal four way RIGHT NOW to crown new #1 contenders.

Ascension vs. Breezango vs. Hype Bros vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

One fall to a finish. Gable and Benjamin work on Viktor’s arm to start and Shelton drops an elbow for two. An armbar keeps Viktor down until it’s off to Konnor for a knee to the face. Everyone comes in to save Gable and we take a break. Back with Rawley running Breeze over and everything breaking down again.

Ryder comes in for the Hype Ryder but Viktor shoves him into Rawley. Konnor shoves Rawley into Viktor, leaving Breeze to grab a rollup for two. The Broski Boot misses and it’s Shelton tagging himself in but the powerbomb/clotheslines combination misses. Fandango misses the Last Dance and it’s a moonsault from Gable. Now the powerbomb/clothesline combination puts Breeze away at 9:21.

Rating: C. This was too busy for the amount of time they had and I would have gone with Breezango getting the shot (or at least not taking the pin), though this is the second best option. It’s true that we need some fresh challengers and Gable/Benjamin are better choices than a lot of their other options. Oh and I guess this means no Fashion Files tonight either.

Sami and Kevin aren’t ready to talk yet.

We look at Natalya cheating to retain her title on Sunday.

Lana says Tamina will be taking the title from Natalya, who laughs it off. Carmella and Charlotte come in with Natalya saying Charlotte disappointed her dad all over again. A brawl breaks out with Charlotte getting the best of it.

Baron Corbin is glad he disappointed the keyboard warriors on Sunday and will be glad to do it again tonight.

Becky Lynch vs. Carmella

Becky wastes no time in taking Carmella down and hammering away. Carmella bails but hides behind Ellsworth, allowing her to get in a kick to Becky’s knee. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit but Becky pops back up and sends her into the corner. The Disarm-Her ends Carmella at 2:59.

Here’s Owens, now billed as victorious, for his big speech. Owens says he did exactly what he promised to do on Sunday night when he destroyed Shane once and for all. The fans almost lost him on Sunday too though as he saw the white light. Then he was standing in line at the pearly gates and St. Peter called him to the front of the line. They would love to have him up there but he’s needed more down on earth. Therefore he’s still here, complete with his own guardian angel in the form of Sami Zayn. Now his purpose is to turn Smackdown into his own personal paradise, which is why we’re here on the Kevin Owens Show.

This brings out a dancing Sami, who still does his same energetic entrance but with a bit of a smug look on his face. Kevin thanks Sami for everything he’s done but Sami needs to thank Owens. It was that apron powerbomb a few weeks ago that made Sami see everything for what it really was. He tried to please everyone and it brought him to mediocrity. During that time, Owens won all the titles he wanted but Sami still got to sleep at night. Yeah!

Maybe, if he keeps doing the right thing for 4-5 years, his time will come. Then he came to the land of opportunity and he heard about how Raw had been mistreating him. Shane gave him a big song and dance about how awesome things were going to be and that’s the last meeting he had with the new boss. That brings us to Sunday, where Sami was watching the match and Shane had Owens beat. Owens has been a lot of things to Sami over the years but he’ll always be Sami’s brother. On Sunday, Sami saved his brother. They take turns saying give it up for the other and it’s a big love fest.

Rusev/Aiden English vs. Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura

English has to save Rusev from an early hanging DDT and they head outside for the opening brawl. Rusev gets dropped onto the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Orton fighting out of Rusev’s bodyscissors and kicking English away for the hot tag to Nakamura. Rusev breaks up Kinshasa but gets the RKO for his efforts. Now Kinshasa can finish English at 5:58. Not enough to rate but the second half was a glorified squash.

AJ Styles is ready to win the US Title back tonight.

Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, both in hooded cloaks and carrying big hammers, say there is no conscious or moral compass. The wicked will rise and there will be broken bones and severed spines. Their name seems to be the Bludgeon Brothers. I’ve heard of worse actually.

Here’s Bobby Roode to call out Dolph Ziggler for attacking him after their match on Sunday. If Ziggler wants to fight, come out here right now. Cue Ziggler, whose music and video again cut off, to say Roode looked like a million bucks before the match. Then the bell rang and Ziggler dominated until Roode cheated to win. Ziggler wants a rematch anywhere anytime so Roode says come on. You know the drill: Ziggler comes close to the ring and says on his time. This feud really doesn’t need to continue and Ziggler is just killing anything positive about it.

Roode vs. Ziggler II is official for next week.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin won the title on Sunday. AJ wastes no time in dropkicking Baron outside before sending him to the floor again. Back from an early break with Corbin doing his slide underneath the ropes into the hard clothesline. Corbin misses a charge and gets caught in the ropes though, allowing AJ to slug away. The Phenomenal Blitz staggers Corbin and a dropkick to the knee takes him down again.

Baron slides to the floor and a heck of a baseball slide knocks him over the announcers’ table in a heap. Back in and the fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two but Corbin sends him hard into the buckle. AJ comes right back with the Calf Crusher but Corbin heads outside again and catches AJ diving off the apron in a powerslam. Back in and End of Days retains Corbin’s title at 11:55.

Rating: C+. The ending is a bit of a surprise but it lets Corbin be done with Styles and move on to something else, presumably the World Title scene. Corbin is in need of some challengers, and I wouldn’t be shocked if it wound up being Nakamura. It’s not like he has anything else going on at the moment.

Post match Corbin says the title is his and it’s not going anywhere. He’ll buy a boat and float down a river of your tears. No one comes out and we’re done.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a lot better than I was expecting (Shane and Jinder being gone is just a coincidence I’m sure), capped off by that great Sami promo. They’ve got something here if they’re smart enough to pull it off, though if Mahal is still one of the featured attractions they’re only going to get so far. The wrestling was a nice addition but it certainly wasn’t the focus of the show tonight.

Results

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable b. Ascension, Breezango and Hype Bros – Powerslam/Top rope clothesline combination to Breeze

Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her

Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Rusev/Aiden English – Kinshasa to English

Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles – End of Days

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 8, 2003
Location: Metro Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

With the pay per view right around the corner, it might be nice if they set up a few more matches. There’s only a few things set up already and unfortunately we’re likely in for more of the Mr. America story dominating the show. Last week’s segment was fine, but I have a feeling it’s going to overstay its welcome in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the Mr. America story, which somehow seems to focus on Stephanie. Vince has vowed to take the mask off of America and prove it’s really Hogan.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going. He’s had a change of heart so tonight Hogan is going to be here tonight….via satellite from Tampa, Florida. That means Mr. America won’t be here because they’re clearly the same person. Even Canadians could figure something like this out. The YOU SCREWED Bret chants start up with Cole saying that means Bret Hart. Thanks Mikey. Vince: “You’re right I did and I’ll screw every one of you if you just give me the chance!”

This brings out Stephanie with Vince demanding to know why she signed Mr. America. She did it for the fans because she had heard about how big a star he was and all his experience. Vince wants to know why she did this, which Stephanie says was to counter Bischoff’s attempts to sign Mr. America, which is why he got the iron clad deal. The only way to break the contract is to prove that Mr. America is Hogan. That’s cool with Vince and he has Stephanie leave so he can interview Hogan from Tampa.

We go live via satellite to Hogan’s office, featuring a prominently displayed copy of his new book on the shelf, what appears to be a Divas swimsuit magazine on the table and…..a really big Home Depot catalog/book? Hogan says he wants to be back in front of the crowd because it’s killing him to not be out there.

He’d love to team up with Mr. America one day, even if there are some physical similarities between the two. Of course Hogan’s Pythons are bigger and he’s much better looking. Vince laughs it off and says we should see Mr. America right here in Nova Scotia. Hogan looks upset but quotes George Washington by saying he cannot tell a lie. There’s a chance that Mr. America will show up tonight, which is an idea that Vince loves.

I have SO many questions. Who in the world was telling Stephanie all this stuff about Mr. America without mentioning THAT IT WAS HULK HOGAN??? Who would have seen Mr. America wrestle in person and called Stephanie to tell her about him? Are we supposed to buy that Hogan was just off working independent promotions throughout his career under a mask?

Stephanie said she was told he had a lot of experience, which would suggest he’s been doing this for awhile. So some people who she apparently trusts called her and told her to sign this guy who Eric Bischoff was interested in as well but apparently either didn’t realize that it was Hogan or didn’t know/care about Vince banning Hogan from wrestling? Was Bischoff just going to sign Mr. America and hope Vince didn’t notice? Or did he have the same stupid sources too?

In theory this would have been a long term plan from Hogan but he was sent home on April 3 and the first vignette played on April 17. That would suggest that Mr. America was signed during that two week period as Stephanie couldn’t advertise him until he was signed. So he and Bischoff heard about Mr. American, got obsessed with signing him sight unseen, got into a bidding war to sign him, and then signed him in less than two weeks?

Back to the sources who hyped up Mr. America, did they sound like a San Francisco barber, a mouth from the south and a nasty sensation by any chance? Or did Hogan start doing this months ago on the off chance he lost at Wrestlemania? Oh and did Hogan sign the other contract “Mr. America”? And is he now getting two checks? There are so many questions I kind of need answered about this whole shindig. Unless this whole thing is Stephanie and Hogan being in cahoots with each other, this story really doesn’t make much sense.

Post break, Vince is told that Mr. America is here. So wait: did Mr. America pay off the production staff to lie and say they weren’t in Florida? Was the tape a fake? Did Hogan convince them all to fly back to Canada, set up a room to look like his office and then show up later? Why am I thinking about this more than I did in any class in college?

Matt Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero

Back to back Side Effects set up a Ricochet for two on Eddie. The middle rope legdrop is broken up though and Eddie rolls some suplexes. Matt avoids the frog splash but can’t get the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head for two. Matt tries another Side Effect, only to get rolled up (sweet) for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Matt was trying here, though I’m not sure what the point is in having a champion lose over and over. There are other heels you could have in this spot to protect the title but it’s not like there’s anyone around to challenge him for it at the moment. They could develop some more talent for the division but it’s not likely anytime soon.

Team Angle runs out and steals the gold medals back from Los Guerreros.

Big Show is with the FBI for some reason when some production guys carry a piece of equipment. As they walk by, a good sized guy in a blue mask can be seen.

Brian Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble

Brian is now officially Brian “Spanky” Kendrick. Before the match, Kendrick gets a CENA SUCKS chant going in honor of last week. Kendrick flips out of a wristlock to start and nips up into a kick to the chest. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up though and Kendrick is tossed outside where Nidia gets in a few kicks to the ribs.

Back in and a cravate doesn’t keep Kendrick in trouble for very long but a half crab has some more success. Kendrick fights up for a bit, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts. An enziguri gives Kendrick two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. That’s fine as he lands on his feet and grabs Sliced Bread #2 for the pin.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time but they packed in some good stuff. As usual, these guys could be tearing the house down for the Cruiserweight Title but for some reason Matt is stuck as a midcard jobber. Let some of these guys have ten minutes somewhere and see what they can do, perhaps in a pay per view title match. Really, what could it hurt?

Cena is watching in the back when Mr. America comes up. John doesn’t believe his eyes.

We see the whole Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio scene from Backlash. Mysterio will be back next week.

Brock Lesnar is ready to team with Chris Benoit against A-Train and Big Show. As for the title match with Big Show, let’s make it a stretcher match. Do you know what that means? At Judgment Day, Big Show is leaving on a stretcher.

Vince is getting coffee when Funaki comes up to say Mr. America is here. The boss insists that he’s an impostor and makes Funaki make the coffee.

Here’s Mr. America as the first fifteen minutes of the show just wasn’t enough time. Vince and Stephanie are watching from a small office with what looks like the same furniture from Austin and Bischoff’s office last night. Even the plant is the same. Anyway, Vince insists that this is an impostor.

America finally starts talking and we cut to Vince’s panicked face. Back in the arena, America insists that he’s not Hulk Hogan. No, he’s actually a former 165lb accountant from Hoboken, New Jersey who bought Wrestlemania to see Hogan. There was something about Hogan that made him want to get in the gym and now he’s the physical specimen he is now. So he was 6’6 and 165lbs? That’s quite the odd visual.

Anyway here comes Vince to say that mask is coming off and Stephanie is going to come out here and make it happen. A quick distraction lets Vince get in a low blow but he can’t get the mask off. America shoves him away and right into Stephanie, who is knocked cold. The boss gets knocked to the floor and America carries Stephanie to the back. I’m guessing you can now add Stephanie to the list of people this story shouldn’t be about but will be anyway.

During the break, Stephanie was getting medical attention when Vince stormed in. She blames him for the injuries, of course. Vince freaks out and yells about Hogan.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Sable is out to watch. They do a catfight for a bit until Torrie gets a sunset flip for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Sable challenges Torrie to a bikini contest at the pay per view. Torrie unzips her gear to reveal a bra, which seems to be a yes. Considering Torrie is currently in Playboy and her entrance video is mainly her in bikinis, I’m not sure why someone is going to pay to see her in another swimsuit. The same is pretty much true of Sable but WWE doesn’t like to use common sense all the time.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Team Angle vs. Rikishi/Tajiri

Non-title. Rikishi knocks Charlie to the floor to start and sits on his chest for trying a sunset flip. He’s no Torrie Wilson. Tajiri comes in for a spinwheel kick to Shelton but Charlie offers a cheap shot to take over. A hard superkick drops Charlie though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi. Cole actually tries to convince us that Rikishi only weighs 350lbs, which might be the case if you cut off his upper half. Everything breaks down and Rikishi superkicks Haas and Tajiri adds the Tarantula. Shelton pulls Rikishi out though and it’s the superkick into the jackknife cover to put Tajiri away.

Rating: D+. The time issue strikes again as there’s only so much you can do with less than five minutes. Well that and with Rikishi in the match as he’s getting bigger and bigger every single week. I’m still not sure why Tajiri isn’t used in a more prominent role as he’s solid in the ring but stuck in jobbing roles like this one.

Los Guerreros run out and steal the picture of Angle and the gold medals.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Kendrick is on commentary. Before the match, Cena promises to rip the nose off the rhinoceros and make him need a gynecologist. Rhyno hammers on him to start and kicks Cena in the side of the head to send Cena outside. Back in and Cena scores with a suplex before cranking on Rhyno’s arms. Rhyno slugs away but gets caught by the Throwback for two. Cena is back up in a hurry but walks into the spinebuster. Rhyno is down though so Cena goes for the chain. It’s Kendrick making the save though, allowing Rhyno to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad little power match here and it advances the entertaining Kendrick vs. Cena feud. Rhyno was playing it mostly even with Cena so it didn’t even feel like the last second fluke win. Cena needs a good win to keep his momentum though as he lost to Lesnar and is in a much lower level feud with Kendrick. I’m sure he’ll be fine though.

Cena goes after Kendrick and avoids a Gore from Rhyno, who hits the steps instead.

The FBI is planning something.

Judgment Day rundown.

Lesnar is on his way to the ring when he runs into Nunzio, who wants more respect. Nunzio hits him and gets Brock to run into a room, which the FBI barricades with a forklift. So he’s kind of dumb too? Big Show and A-Train are rather pleased and Show says he’s going to face Benoit on his own. Is there a reason Lesnar isn’t banging on the door to try to get out?

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

Show has a stretcher with Mysterio, Benoit and Lesnar’s names on it. Benoit gets right in his face and is promptly chopped back down. Some shots to Show’s leg and head are shrugged off and it’s a big side slam to put him down. There’s a delayed suplex as Cole says Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan was in 1986 (1981 really). Benoit fights out of a bearhug and dropkicks the knee, setting up the Swan Dive. The Crossface is broken up as A-Train distracts Benoit with the stretcher. That’s enough to set up the chokeslam and give Show the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash though at least they kept it quick. Show beating Benoit with some help is an acceptable enough of a way to build him up for Lesnar, though the stretcher thing is another lame gimmick that feels very tacked on. They’d be better with something like Last Man Standing or a street fight or something but we get this lame idea instead. Also was there really a need to announce the tag match for an hour and a half and then switch it to a singles match at the last minute?

Benoit gets beaten down until Lesnar makes the save, only to take a beating of his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling in the first half of the show saves it from being a failure but the overkill of Mr. America is already getting to be a lot. Aside from the litany of holes in the story’s logic, you can only assume that we’re heading towards America vs. Piper or McMahon (like O’Haire would get that spot). It’s probably going to be Piper and the thought of that makes my skin crawl. The story is fine for something simple that gets a few minutes a week but this was close to a quarter of the show. That’s too much for almost any story, especially one that doesn’t have a lot of depth like this one.

The rest of the show is up and down with some good matches that very little but not much in the storytelling department. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle over Eddie and Chavo stealing stuff isn’t all that interesting and Sable vs. Torrie is what it is. That leaves you with Lesnar vs. Show, which isn’t doing much for the champ at all. Lesnar really needs a top opponent and Big Show just isn’t that person. Angle and Undertaker coming back will help things out but Lesnar has already beaten both of them. It might be, gulp, time to elevate someone for more than a month at a time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and that means it’s time to really hammer in some of the stories. The main event of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the Cell is pretty much set but it would be nice to have some of the other matches get some attention of their own. Let’s get to it.

We open with another moment of silence for the Las Vegas shooting.

The opening recap looks at Shinsuke Nakamura beating up Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers last week.

Renee Young brings out Nakamura for a chat. In regards to Mahal’s recent insults, Nakamura says sticks and stones may break his bones but words will never hurt him. He’ll take the title from Mahal on Sunday but here are the Singh Brothers to interrupt and mock his entrance. Mahal follows them out and the three on one beatdown is on in a hurry.

Carmella/Natalya vs. Charlotte/Becky Lynch

Becky slaps Carmella to start and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Charlotte and Becky take the villains down with a double baseball slide and we take a way too early break. Back with Becky in trouble until Becky rolls her up for two, allowing the hot tag off to Charlotte. A running knee to the head drops Natalya again and a suplex gives Charlotte two. The spear looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya hides in the ropes. Carmella hits Becky in the back with the Money in the Bank briefcase and the Sharpshooter puts Charlotte away at 6:58.

Rating: D+. Barely enough shown to rate here but twas your run of the mill tag match with Natalya getting a win to help set up the title match on Sunday. If nothing else hopefully we’ll knock out the briefcase soon as it’s still just a thing that exists instead of anything with any particular value.

Long recap of Shane vs. Kevin. The more I see of this feud, the less I care.

Mike Kanellis vs. Bobby Roode

A spinebuster and the Glorious DDT end Kanellis at 56 seconds.

Post match here’s Dolph Ziggler with a marching band drum to play for Roode. Dolph plays an air horn and throws some confetti too before asking if everyone likes him now. Roode has a great entrance but on Sunday, the bell is going to ring and he’ll be exposed as the fraud that he is. Bobby shows Ziggler how to do the proper entrance and strikes the Glorious pose.

Pay per view rundown.

Here are the Usos to read New Day their rights before Sunday. They explain that New Day is going to be walking into the Uso Penitentiary where there’s no trombone, no BootyO’s and no dancing. Maybe they can just throw every other tag team in there with them. This brings out New Day to shill their New Day underwear (a real thing) and to read some lefts because the Usos are reading the rights.

New Day has left everyone in the dust and no matter where they were on the card, they’ve left the fans knowing it was the best match on the night. Best of all though, the last time they met the Usos, they left with the titles. Short and to the point here as this segment needed to be. If the match is as good as their previous efforts, everything will be fine.

Mahal shows us a replay of what happened earlier.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin throws him around to start but a chase lets Tye score with a superkick to knock Corbin outside as we take a break. Back with Corbin elbowing Dillinger in the face and knocking him onto the steps. They head back inside and Dillinger grabs a small package for the clean pin at 5:52. Not enough shown to rate but it was angle advancement more than anything else.

Post match AJ Styles pops up on screen to say he’s going to show Corbin that taking shortcuts doesn’t pay.

Some breast cancer survivors are presented with pink WWE Championships.

Randy Orton vs. Aiden English

Fallout from Orton laying out English and Rusev last week during Rusev’s celebration. English throws him into the corner to start but has to avoid an early RKO attempt. No worries though as a pop up RKO puts English at 1:17.

Rusev tries to sneak up on Orton but Randy drops into RKO position to send Rusev bailing.

Sami Zayn tells Shane to be careful with Owens. Shane basically blows him off.

Here’s Shane to call out Owens but Kevin doesn’t show up. Shane calls him a coward and has a chance of pace for Sunday’s match: it’s now Falls Count Anywhere. So they’re not even bothering to hide the fact that the Cell is only going to contain them for a little while? Owens comes through the crowd, saying that the real money is right here. That’s all he’s doing though and starts to go back up the stairs, only pausing when Shane calls him a coward.

Owens leaves anyway and it’s Shane giving chase through the crowd. Shane gets into the concourse and the fight is on with Shane getting powerbombed through a merchandise table. Owens comes back to the ring to say that’s nothing compared to what he’s going to do to Shane on Sunday, where he’ll throw Shane off the Cell. Of course Shane staggers through the crowd to come back to ringside but Owens throws him over the announcers’ table. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” I know weed is legal in Colorado but dang I didn’t realize it was that strong.

A headbutt drops Shane again and the Pop Up Powerbomb ends the show. I wasn’t wild on this match coming into this week and this segment REALLY didn’t do it any favors. It’s just Shane getting beaten up again and then basically guaranteeing that he’s going to do something really stupid on Sunday. I need a lot more than that and I’m getting a bad feeling that Shane will win and completely waste any momentum that Owens has built up.

Overall Rating: D-. My goodness this bombed and it bombed hard. With a grand total of 15:03 of wrestling and about half of that in commercials, the focus certainly wasn’t on the in-ring product this week. What it was on was Shane vs. Owens and the more I see of that, the less I can bring myself to care. As I said, they’re not even trying to hide the fact that it’s going to be a stunt show and Shane is only in there because he’s going to do something stupid. Shane gets less and less interesting every time he gets in the ring and one of these times he’s going to win, which would be about as dumb of an idea as they have.

Results

Carmella/Natalya b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch – Sharpshooter to Charlotte

Bobby Roode b. Mike Kanellis – Glorious DDT

Tye Dillinger b. Baron Corbin – Small package

Randy Orton b. Aiden English – Pop up RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 1, 2003
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Backlash now and Brock Lesnar retained the Smackdown World Title against John Cena in the Smackdown main event. Therefore, it’s time to get a new challenger to the title and that scares me a bit. Odds are we’re looking at Big Show again, because that’s what you have nowhere else to go. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio. Oh yeah we’re seeing Big Show vs. Lesnar this month.

Opening sequence.

Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Los Guerreros have the stolen titles but aren’t champions, meaning Matt, (Have you read his new Book?) who invented Mattitude, can’t win a second championship here. Eddie wastes no time and starts in on the leg with a hilo. Chavo slaps on a legbar and it’s time for some changing places with no tags.

Crash, that little Moore-On, gets in a book shot from behind so Matt can take over. We hit a full nelson of all things as we talk about Crash’s diet, which sounds like a stream of gay jokes. Chavo tries to make a save but gets his uncle stomped down by mistake. That’s enough waiting though as he comes in and dropkicks away as everything breaks down.

Eddie’s top rope hurricanrana gets two on Matt but Three Amigos are broken up. Moore throws Eddie into a fireman’s carry and it’s a swinging neckbreaker from Matt for two. The referee finally tries to calm things down, allowing Chavo to hit Matt in the head with the belt, setting up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. At least Matt didn’t lose clean. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle is fine for a feud and it’s not like they have anyone else to go after them at the moment. The tag division has fallen apart in the span of about seven months but at least we’re getting a good match here or there.

Team Angle comes after their belts but Los Guerreros escape without too much effort.

Stephanie McMahon says she signed Mr. America without knowing who he is or even seeing him. I’m sure she invented bad business ideas too. Team Angle comes in and demands their titles back but Stephanie talks down to them for letting Los Guerreros take them away. Less than thirty seconds ago she said she signed someone WITHOUT KNOWING WHO HE IS and now she’s being condescending. Anyway it’s a ladder match at Judgment Day between Los Guerreros and Team Angle.

Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show, which doesn’t make it any less stupid.

Stephanie leaves Mr. America’s dressing room and looks somewhere between terrified and near tears.

Mr. America is coming. We know.

Big Show vs. Funaki

So, brilliant businesswoman Stephanie knows what happened to Rey, who is still in the hospital, on Sunday and then books this match less than a week later. Maybe she didn’t see the post match attack either? Before the match, Show basically says he’s going to kill Funaki. The early chops send Funaki outside with Show throwing him all over the place as you would expect. Back in and Show gets crotched, setting up a missile dropkick to the ribs. A tornado DDT gets two on Show but he lifts Funaki up for the chokeslam….and sits him back down. Instead it’s a hard clothesline to take Funaki’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D-. So now he’s stolen Bill DeMott’s gimmick? I’m assuming this is designed to set up Show as the next challenger to Lesnar, who is going to be standing up for the cruiserweights. It doesn’t exactly make sense but it’s not like Lesnar has anyone else to challenge him. It’s not like Guerrero or Benoit are available as a short term challenger, or just ANYONE other than Big Show again.

Stephanie is worried when a production worker comes in to say that Vince is coming.

Show glares at various cruiserweights until he runs into A-Train, who liked what he saw.

Here’s Cena to rap about how he busted Lesnar open on Sunday and had him beat. Of course this includes some shots at the Red Sox, which he manages to get through without crying. This brings out Brian Kendrick of all people, dressed like a rapper but with a big clock around his neck. Kendrick says, and I quote, “the name is Spanky McBarrel Scrapings dawg”.

He has a rap for Cena but needs a beat. Cena tells Brian Hebner to give him a beat….which he actually does rather well. Cena looks stunned and Kendrick raps about how Lesnar beat Cena on Sunday. Kendrick even rubs Cena’s hair as you can see Cena (make your own jokes) about to explode. Cena finally takes his head off and hits the AA, which Tazz finally dubs the FU. This was way more entertaining than it should have been, mainly due to Kendrick being so over the top and Cena’s great visuals.

The FBI shoots dice with a production worker and hustles him before charging him for autographs.

Chris Benoit vs. Johnny Stamboli

Benoit stops looking at the other Italians and starts chopping away, only to head outside to deck Palumbo. Nunzio trips Benoit so he hits Palumbo instead, only to get taken down by Stamboli. The gorilla press is countered into a Crossface attempt, sending Stamboli straight to the ropes. A backslide gives Benoit two but Johnny is right back with some elbows to keep him down. That just earns Stamboli a hard German suplex and the Swan Dive but Nunzio comes in. Cue Rhyno to Gore him down and then to slug away at Palumbo as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. Stamboli could have been something with a better name (Johnny the Bull was fine), if nothing else for the insane gorilla presses he could pull off. Benoit needs to get FAR away from the Italians though as this feud is just completely nothing for him. I have no idea why he’s stuck in the middle of this thing when he could be fighting for the World Title, or at least be in the mix for the thing.

Actually let’s keep this going as a tag match.

Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. FBI

Nunzio is the odd man out. We’re joined in progress with Rhyno stomping on Palumbo in the corner. A belly to belly gets two on Stamboli and it’s off to Benoit….but the referee doesn’t see the tag, which you rarely see enforced this early in the match. Palumbo’s belly to back gets two more on Rhyno and it’s back to Stamboli for a bearhug. Rhyno finally gets out of trouble with a spinebuster and it’s off to Benoit to clean house. Benoit rolls Palumbo up as Rhyno Gores Stamboli, sending him into the referee to break it up by mistake. The distraction lets Nunzio turn Palumbo and Benoit over to give Chuck the pin.

Rating: D. More bad stuff here as you can only get so much out of a team like Palumbo and Stamboli. The ending suggests that they’re going to split up Benoit and Rhyno pretty soon, which would be somewhat of a waste of a perfectly fine team but at the same time I’d be glad to see Benoit get to do something important again.

A nervous Stephanie calls Vince and tells him to not bother coming to the show tonight. As she’s talking, Lesnar arrives despite having the night off.

Video on Kurt Angle. I guess they want to keep him in our minds despite him only leaving about a month ago?

Here’s Lesnar for a chat. Brock had a heck of a fight with Cena at Backlash but now he’s looking for another fight. That would be with Big Show, who Lesnar saw bullying Rey at Backlash. If Show wants to pick on people that small because they have more heart, why not come try to bully Brock Lesnar? Show comes out and says he’ll fight Lesnar but only if the title is on the line. Brock says bring it on and seems to agree but Show leaves anyway.

Mr. America video. They do know they’ve already established this right?

Team Angle vs. John Walters/Aaron Stevens

Non-title. Walters would go on to become an ROH Pure Champion and Stevens (better known as Erick and not to be confused with Aaron “the Idol” Stevens who would go on to become Damien Sandow) would be a pretty big deal in FIP. Stevens wastes no time in rolling Haas up for two but gets taken down with ease. It’s off to Shelton for the jump onto Stevens’ back so let’s try Walters instead. Everything breaks down in a bit of a surprise and it’s an atomic drop into a superkick to put Walters away in a hurry.

Post match Team Angle demands their titles back so here are Los Guerreros to return the belts….and then steal Kurt Angle’s medals off the framed picture Team Angle brought with them.

Sable hits on Torrie, who isn’t interested this week. Torrie rants about the Test/Stacy Keibler thing at Backlash and does NOT want to team with Sable tonight. Innuendo occurs and Sable threatens to have Torrie beaten down again if she doesn’t get what she wants.

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Dawn Marie/Nidia

What does it say when Nidia is the best worker in a match? Torrie gets jumped to start and Sable calmly pushes Dawn (who has dropped the Wilson name in a story that the company has likely forgotten) away. Nidia grabs an early suplex for two but gets caught in the swinging neckbreaker (the one move Torrie can do) for the same.

A clothesline knocks Dawn off the apron, allowing Nidia to kick at the leg to take over. It’s off to Dawn for something like a Vader Bomb onto the legs but a second attempt only hits mat. Sable won’t tag though and Torrie taps to a half crab (with Dawn making it look more like a Disarm-Her on the leg than anything else).

Rating: F. Now who would have guessed this would be terrible? Normally I can appreciate something like putting in work on the knee to set up a hold but when the wrestling is this bad, there’s only so much you can do. I’m not sure what else there is to say about something like this. They’re just not good at this stuff.

Stephanie tries to call Vince again but he arrives and wants to meet Mr. America. I guess this is Stephanie’s version of bad luck or finally having someone get something up on her. Makes sense actually. The only person you could possibly buy beating Stephanie is Stephanie herself.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit. Roddy makes fun of Chris Jericho for mocking Piper’s weight. When Piper loses weight, he’ll call Jericho. When Jericho gets some talent, call him. After praising Sean O’Haire (in the ring with him) for winning at Backlash, Piper calls out Mr. America, who of course is Hulk Hogan under a mask doing the bit where everyone knows it’s him but no one can prove it. Cole and Tazz set a new record for Hogan references in a thirty second period as Piper is beside himself. Like, more than O’Haire is beside him.

Piper accuses America of being Hogan, but America thinks that’s ridiculous brother dude. America threatens to beat him from sea to shining sea but he is NOT Hulk Hogan. This brings out Vince with the biggest eyes you’ll see on him this side of an Austin segment. Vince yells about the whole thing and says Hogan is suspended so he’s going home again, this time with a lawsuit. Vince: “You’re insulting my intelligence, and that’s something I just won’t stand for at all.”

Mr. America is fired but that won’t work because of a clause in his contract saying he CAN’T BE FIRED OR SUSPENDED. Stephanie signed someone to a contract without seeing him and HE CAN’T BE FIRED. So not only is she annoying and on screen way too much, but she’s very, very stupid. I’m not big on Stephanie but that’s WAY out of character for her. Vince panics and we get a “God bless America” from America to start a weak USA chant. That’s fine with Vince, who goes for the mask but America cleans house and bails. Pyro and confetti come down (with Piper covering a downed Vince for some reason) to end the show.

Here’s the thing: this idea isn’t bad as a one or two off joke. Think back to the days of the Machines when Hogan Machine or Piper Machine showed up or Juan Cena. They were really stupid but perfectly harmless, especially when the segments aren’t even trying to hide what’s going on. Everyone is in on the joke and it’s over in a week or two with everyone having a good time and laughing along with it. That works just fine.

However, that’s not what we’re getting here. This is the big story on Smackdown (and pretty much in the entire company due to Vince and Hogan being involved) and is likely setting up America vs. McMahon or Piper. It’s probably going to go on for weeks if not months and completely overstay its welcome. One of the worst things you can do with something that should be funny is to drive it into the ground because then the charm is gone and it’s just stupid stuff getting way more time than it should.

If this was a three minute segment to set up a five minute match with America beating some foreign monster, then fine. The problem is it was a fifteen minute segment that is going to spend weeks likely building to America vs. Piper in a match that’s going to set wrestling back fifteen or more years. In other words, the horrible 2003 rolls on.

Overall Rating: D. Other than the ending segment, this wasn’t the worst show in the world. Above all else here though, everything is built up to the big Mr. America segment, which requires Stephanie to be horribly stupid and a bunch of talking about contracts, again. The wrestling was nothing special as usual but the problem here continues to be the horrible storylines, which are neither quality nor interesting in the slightest. Bad show, but more uninteresting than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2017
Location: Gila River Arena, Glendale, Arizona
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re coming up on the Cell and that means we have to start hammering home some of the matches. At the moment we have at least one Cell match set, along with the World and Tag Team Title matches, either of which could wind up being changed to the second Cell match of the card. Other than that, there isn’t much to go on so let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens, which is easily the top story on the show at the moment. We hear the comments from both guys last week with both of them threatening some intense violence.

Here’s Owens to open things up, asking where Shane is tonight. Owens is tired of being called a coward over and over but maybe Shane is the coward. He knows better than that though because Shane is no coward. Not only does he respect Vince McMahon but he even likes him. If that’s what he’ll do to someone he likes, what will he do to Shane, who he doesn’t like?

This brings out Sami Zayn, who says Owens has lost complete control. Owens headbutted VINCE MCMAHON and anytime Owens snaps like that, it doesn’t end well. If Owens knows what’s good for him, he needs to stop right now. Owens laughs it off and talks about Sami signing with WWE two and a half years before him but it was Owens winning the US Title at Wrestlemania while Sami watched from the back.

Owens did indeed attack Vince McMahon and it was the best thing he could do because he did something, unlike Zayn. Sami says his day is coming and he’ll do it the right way. Sure Kevin has won a bunch of titles that Sami hasn’t but at least he doesn’t see a pile of trash when he looks in the mirror. Cue Daniel Bryan to make the main event for tonight.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

Fallout from last week when Corbin was scheduled to have a US Title shot but Dillinger injured Corbin’s ankle in a pre-match brawl. Hang on a second though as here’s AJ Styles to join commentary. The distraction lets Tye throw Corbin over the top in a heap and we go to a break before the bell.

We’re joined in progress with Corbin getting two off a chokebreaker. An attempt at a second one doesn’t work as well as Tye scores with a superkick and a kind of one knee Codebreaker. They head outside with Corbin charging into the steps but being able to slip out of the Tyebreaker. Corbin throws water into Styles’ face and then throws Corbin into Styles’ chest to win by countout at 2:43 shown.

Post match Corbin says he wants Styles for the title at the pay per view. The match has been made after the break.

Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal says he might have went a bit too far last week but gets cut off by a NAKAMURA chant. Of course Nakamura is a worthy opponent and Mahal knows what it was like when Nakamura heard last week’s comments. For the THIRD WEEK IN A FREAKING ROW we do the laughing at Nakamura’s face shtick.

The third one is actually Nakamura though and he’s looking at Mahal right here on Smackdown Live. Cue Nakamura in person (thank goodness) to beat up the Singh Brothers in the aisle but Mahal gets in a few shots of his own. That goes nowhere and it’s Nakamura cleaning house, including Kinshasa to send Mahal sprawling up the ramp.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

New Day is in the front row. Mojo drives some shoulders into Jimmy’s ribs to start but gets kicked down for his efforts. It’s off to Ryder to clean some house, including a neckbreaker for two on Jey. Ryder loads up a missile dropkick but Mojo tags himself in, triggering an argument. Jimmy knocks Ryder off the top and it’s a superkick into the Superfly Splash to end Rawley at 2:17.

Post match the Usos go to yell at New Day, who says the title match will be inside the Cell.

It’s time for Rusev’s Pride of Bulgaria celebration with Aiden English as master of ceremonies and singing the Bulgarian national anthem. Rusev comes out carrying the Bulgarian flag and the Mayor of Rusev’s hometown reads a proclamation as Rusev stands on a platform. He’s presented a key to the city and we see a clip of Rusev beating Randy Orton in nine seconds last week. Rusev talks about the Lion of Bulgaria ripping the fangs from the Viper’s mouth. It’s his jungle now and English sings a special song….until Orton comes in with RKO’s for Rusev and English.

Sami comes in to see Bryan, who says Shane is on the way and wants Owens. Zayn begs Bryan to call Shane off because he wants Owens to himself tonight.

Orton tells Renee Young to tell Rusev that if he wants some payback, come see him at Hell in a Cell.

Charlotte vs. Carmella

Carmella chains Ellsworth to the ring. Charlotte can’t get in an early Figure Eight attempt but can get in a big boot. Ellsworth’s distraction sets up a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Charlotte fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Carmella gets two off a reverse DDT and nails a superkick. Not that it matters though as she walks into a big boot to give Charlotte the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it was little more than Charlotte getting a win before the pay per view. I really wish they could drop the Briefcase already though as it’s little more than a Sword of Damocles hanging over the title, which really holds back what they have going for it with Charlotte back in the title picture.

Post match Natalya comes out to says he’s glad Ric Flair is feeling better so he can see Charlotte lose.

And then a gong strikes…..because Dolph Ziggler is doing Undertaker’s entrance. The fans seem to buy it at first until Ziggler starts dancing around. Dolph says the fans look like they’ve seen a ghost, which makes him laugh because there’s no way you’re seeing Undertaker twice in a year. Ziggler starts ripping into the fans again but things become GLORIOUS in a hurry.

Bobby Roode comes out to call Ziggler a hypocrite. He claims to not care about what the fans think but here he is every week to entertain them. If Ziggler thinks he’s the best performer ever, how about he proves it against Roode at Hell in a Cell? Ziggler lists off all the things that it takes to be popular here: flashy robe, an entrance that involves audience participation and in-ring skills that match Ziggler’s. Two out of three aren’t bad, but anyone who steps in the ring with Ziggler will REST IN…..and Roode cuts him off to say their match will be GLORIOUS.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

They slug it out to start with Owens dropping Sami off a hard shot to the face. The Cannonball has Sami bailing to the floor as it’s all Owens early on. Back in and Sami scores with a clothesline but gets sent outside again. We cut to the back to see Shane arriving as we take a break.

Back with Owens getting two off a superkick but being planted off the tornado DDT. The Helluva Kick is countered with a superkick but Sami grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Owens bails to the floor so Sami scores with the flip dive in a nasty looking crash. The dive through the ropes is blocked by another superkick and the apron bomb crushes Sami all over again. The referee stops the match at 9:40.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to have an entertaining match though there’s only so much you can do when Sami is little more than a sacrificial lamb. If they play their cards right on this feud, they could set up a huge match between Owens and Zayn down the line, assuming of course they don’t give Shane the win due to reasons of general stupidity.

Sami is carried out until Owens decks him again. He wraps a chair around Sami’s neck but cue Shane to charge at Owens. Unfortunately he runs into the chair to knock it into Sami’s throat, allowing Owens to bail into the crowd to end the show. Unless it was off camera, Shane never even checked on Sami.

Overall Rating: C. They built the show up in a hurry tonight and as is usually the case around here, they did it without having too much in-ring action on the show. I like that for the most part as you don’t want to give away anything major with so little time before the pay per view. Shane vs. Owens better deliver though because that’s almost the entire focus of this show.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger via countout

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly Splash to Rawley

Charlotte b. Carmella – Big boot

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn via referee stoppage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6