Really quick as I have a 13 hour drive ahead of me tomorrow.1.American Alpha b. the Vaudevillains in about 4:00 in the dark match.
2. Nakamura was by far the most over thing all night. The place just came unglued for him.
3. I really, really hope “1-2-SWEET!” doesn’t become a thing on kickouts.
4. Tye got a great pop.
5. People were expecting Harper to turn on Orton, which wouldn’t have surprised me.
6. Some people left for 205 Live but it was hardly an exodus.
7. Nakamura beat Ziggler in the post show dark match in about 8:30 with Kinshasa.
8. THe beach balls were in action ALL NIGHT LONG. One fan caught and popped two of them, turning him into the most hated man in the building and my personal hero for the night.
9. During the four way on 205 Live, a fan in the upper deck was just destroying Perkins every few seconds with some hilarious lines that were cracking up all the sections around him. Then he said:
“Roman Reigns is a better professional wrestler than TJ Perkins!”
Everyone else: “NO! NO! NO!”
Fan: “I APOLOGIZE! I PLEDGE TO FADE AWAY AND CLASSIFY MYSELF AS OBSOLETE!”
10. Everyone was just done near the end of Smackdown. It was a very, very long week and I think people are going to realize how tired they are when they wake up tomorrow.
I’ll have a week in review thing up sometime later this week (along with all the other shows I’ve missed) but I won’t have anything up tomorrow save for Raw 2002 and the column, both of which are already done.
Thanks for bearing with me this week guys and thank you all so much for letting me get to do this. I got to do stuff this week that I never thought I’d get to do and it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had as a wrestling fan. Thank you all for supporting me and allowing me to do this as it’s only possible with all of your help.
KB
Heading to Smackdown
And that’s the last show for the week. Talk about it here.
Smackdown – March 28, 2017: Flying Sparks From Mouths and Graves
Smackdown Date: March 28, 2017
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
It’s the final Smackdown before Wrestlemania and that means…..well likely it means a bunch of promos and a few matches here and there but that’s standard operating procedure for this time of year. I’d expect a big push towards Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt and some more names being announced for the battle royal so let’s get to it.
No Mauro again, though now we know why (having a severe bout of depression apparently so hopefully he’s getting the rest/treatment he needs).
Here’s Daniel Bryan to get us going with a contract signing between AJ Styles and Shane McMahon. Shane says this place is supposed to be somewhere families can come and be entertained with AJ as a major part of that. Personal feelings aside, Shane knows AJ is phenomenal. AJ agrees, but Shane keeps going by saying it was AJ’s ego that got him in trouble. It was his ego that cost him the WWE Championship and got inside his head because he wasn’t on the Wrestlemania card (I’d think he has a right to be angry over that one).
Shane is ready for him though and knows he’ll bring out the best in AJ. The boss signs and AJ reminds him that this isn’t going to be a street fight but rather a regular match, where Styles in untouchable. AJ lists off some of the greats that Shane has been in the ring with but none of them were the Phenomenal AJ Styles. The contract is signed and the table is tossed but Bryan stops things just in time. He asks for a handshake and Shane is willing but AJ walks away smiling.
Becky Lynch vs. Carmella
Alexa Bliss and Mickie James are on commentary and James Ellsworth does Carmella’s entrance. For some reason Carmella gives Ellsworth her gum and runs away from the threat of a kick to the ribs. As Carmella goes after Becky, Bliss and James get in a fight which spills into the ring. Both of them wind up hitting Carmella and that’s a DQ (which will be treated as a no contest because WWE doesn’t quite understand the basic rules of wrestling) at 2:13.
Becky Lynch/Mickie James vs. Carmella/Alexa Bliss
Joined in progress with Mickie hitting Bliss with a running dropkick for two. Becky comes in to a nice pop but Carmella tags herself in, sending Bliss into some screeching. Bliss offers a bit of a distraction though and Mickie gets kicked down as the heels take over. Did Mickie ever turn face? She doesn’t really need to but it would be a nice plot point to clarify.
Bliss grabs a chinlock but here’s Natalya down the ramp as we take a break. Back with Natalya on commentary and Bliss charging into an elbow in the corner. The hot tag brings in Becky, who Natalya calls a Pippi Longstocking knockoff. That’s not enough for Natalya as she gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Ellsworth to trip Lynch up and give Carmella the pin at 9:12.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the ending was the right call as I don’t think anyone is buying Carmella as a major threat to win the match on Sunday. Have her win here and give her a little momentum going into Wrestlemania and things will be a little more interesting.
The brawl continues post match until Naomi makes her return for the save. In case it wasn’t clear enough for you, Naomi officially announces her entrance into the Women’s Title match.
Tyler Breeze, as Nikki Bella, offers his services for the Women’s Title match. Bryan says no but Fandango comes in and they get spots in the Andre Battle Royal, plus in a ten man tag with some other participants tonight. Not a bad parting gift.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Tonight we get a special treat: the rest of the “lost” Total Bellas episodes (if Miz isn’t Bryan this time, I’ll be rather disappointed). After a recap of last week, Miz (as Cena) yells about people being late for dinner. Miz has some issues with reading his cue cards until Maryse (playing Nikki) starts talking about the pitter patter of little feet. This brings in the other guests: Maryse as Brie and MIZ AS BRYAN!!!
Daniel, with a huge beard, needs a phone book to sit on and the couple brags about marriage. Daniel isn’t happy with having steak but is pleased with his juicebox. Cena reads off the rules for how to eat and, again, it’s hilarious given how robotic Cena comes off on Total Bellas. Another fake proposal sees John demand that Nikki take her rules seriously. This time Nikki asks John to marry her and it’s to be continued.
Part two is after a break with Cena saying no because it would damage his brand. He’s hustled the fans by convincing them he’s something he’s not. He’s loyal to himself and he only respects money. Cena can never give up because someone more deserving, such as Miz, will take his spot away. You can’t see him because there’s no real person to be seen. Miz and Maryse flip the costumes away and promise to make Wrestlemania their curtain calls.
Without WWE, Cena can just lumber around and pretend to be a star. After Wrestlemania, everyone will know that their lives are total BS. This was great serious stuff to go with the comedy, which isn’t a surprise from these two anymore. Back in the arena, here are Cena and Bella to respond. Cena makes fun of everything Miz did and says sure Nikki and Brie have moments where they’re too dumb to tell each other apart (the fact that this is considered ok might sum up my entire issue with reality TV).
After the praise, Cena asks how Nikki could hold Maryse out of WWE if she’s here now? Maybe Maryse wasn’t asked back because she didn’t do anything in her first run (What exactly did Nikki do in her first run John? Maryse had two Divas Titles to Nikki’s one and was a far better character and worker. I know why he said it but that doesn’t make it true.).
Next we have Miz’s Hollywood theory for Cena, but John is more brand loyal than anyone other than Vince McMahon and no one can get rid of him. Miz leaves to make movies of his own but only ones Cena made first. That’s what Cena can’t get: what is Miz doing here anyway? There’s a Women’s Revolution going on right now and last week, Nikki beat up Tyler Breeze (Can we never bring that up again?) and Miz is using Maryse to get on Total Divas. Oh and how many kids do Miz and Maryse have? Cena: “You firing blanks there sport?”
Cena calls them all talk because Miz never knows how to stop running his mouth. John rips off the gear so he’s here man to man and promises to destroy Miz and Maryse on Wrestlemania. If you want to talk tough, you better be tough but Miz is a p***y. Miz is offered a free shot but the villains back away again. Nikki promises a beating on Sunday to wrap things up.
This was OUTSTANDING stuff and again some of the best talking Miz has ever done. While Miz and Maryse have been nailing the story from the beginning, this was the first time I really bought Cena’s rebuttal. Basically Cena had been saying Miz didn’t know himself but now Cena actually had some examples to really hammer the point home. I’m looking forward to the match and I’m actually buying Miz and Maryse having a chance, which is a lot more than I was expecting. Nikki beating Maryse would be far more acceptable than Cena beating Miz, but you can probably pencil in the stereo submissions.
American Alpha/Mojo Rawley/Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos/Breezango/Dolph Ziggler
All ten of them will be in the battle royal. Jordan and Ziggler start things off with an amateur sequence on the mat and Dolph is just in over his head. Gable comes in to take over on Ziggler’s arm and it’s off to Slater for more of the same. Rhyno adds a belly to belly as this is one sided so far.
Back from an early break with Gable getting taken into the wrong corner so Fandango can come in for two off a hard whip into the corner. I know he’s a low level guy but maybe an improvement in offense would help. Jimmy dives over to break up the tag but Gable drops him as well, meaning it’s off to the (near) hometown boy with Rawley cleaning house. A parade of superkicks is capped off with Rhyno Goring Ziggler, followed by Rawley’s running right hand knocking out Breeze at 11:00.
Rating: D+. Did Breeze run over Vince’s dog or something? At least he lost to a power move from a power wrestler this time instead of being beaten up by Nikki Bella. This was a fun way to help set up the battle royal and even though none of these people have a chance, I can appreciate throwing in some false hope.
Luke Harper has seen the truth: he doesn’t need Bray Wyatt. Bray should run.
We run down the Wrestlemania card. Naomi is officially added to the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which has been moved to the pre-show. As a bonus, the Raw Tag Team Titles match will now be a ladder match.
We see Bray doing…..something to Orton with that stick thing last week. Yeah I’m still not sure what that was, though multiple masked men helping him is interesting.
Bray Wyatt vs. Luke Harper
Non-title and Harper is now in a clean black shirt. Dang he really is mixing it up. Bray starts fast with the running body attack but gets dropkicked out to the floor and punched in the face. Harper throws him over the barricade and we take an early break. Back with Luke escaping the release Rock Bottom, only to have Bray block the powerbomb. That means the Rock Bottom can connect, only to have Sister Abigail broken up. Luke gets in the suicide dive and a big boot is good for two. Back up and Bray goes into trance mode, freezing Luke long enough for Sister Abigail to put him away at 8:33.
Rating: D. Yeah I really wasn’t feeling this one and I really would have preferred Harper being allowed to get a title shot after a few weeks’ build. This could have been something special but it was still the same Bray hypnosis bit (Now I want to watch an Osirian Portal match.) with Harper losing the big match. He’s starting to make me think of Cesaro and that’s not a good thing.
Post match Orton appears on screen, kneeling over Sister Abigail’s grave. Bray has claimed that Abigail gave her powers to him but Orton pulls out the same weapon used on him last week (How did he get that?) and stabs the dirt. Orange sparks fly out to end the show on a rather dumb note.
Overall Rating: C. This was an acceptable go home show but as is so often the case with WWE, it’s all over the place. First of all, you have a classic segment with Cena vs. Miz. Those two have some very underrated chemistry together and I’ve liked their stuff since all the way back in 2009. I’m not crazy on the mixed tag but they’ve really brought me around on it.
On the other hand though, WWE slipped on two major matches: the Orton vs. Wyatt match with the really stupid ending and Corbin vs. Ambrose with the really stupid lack of everything. You would think they could at least have a promo (like they had on Talking Smack) but in this case, there wasn’t as much that could be cut.
Finally, the Women’s Title match being moved to the pre-show is fine and if nothing else it eliminates a bunch of entrances that would take up pay per view time. As great as Alexa has been, I’m fine with them just being on the pre-show as it’s not like people are really dying to see this one.
Overall, Smackdown should be fine on Sunday though I’m a bit worried about how well Orton vs. Wyatt is going to go. If they do a hard hitting, back and forth match, everything will be fine and it’ll come close to match of the night. If they do something stupid with Sister Abigail appearing…..well it might be better than Orton getting the title, though I’m not sure he will. Anyway, fine go home show but Sunday is still a potential big misfire for reasons beyond Smackdown’s control.
Results
Carmella b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Alexa Bliss and Mickie James interfered
Carmella/Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch/Mickie James – Rollup to Lynch
Mojo Rawley/Heath Slater/Rhyno/American Alpha b. Usos/Breezango/Dolph Ziggler – Running right hand to Breeze
Bray Wyatt b. Luke Harper – Sister Abigail
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – October 24, 2002: How Do You Like Your Wrestling?
Smackdown Date: October 24, 2002
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole
With No Mercy done (and Undertaker probably still bleeding), it’s time to start the road towards Survivor Series in about a month. The real buzz is about the Tag Team Titles though after Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle became the inaugural champions in a masterpiece. Unlike Raw, there are a few things I’m excited to see develop so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi
This is fallout from Matt getting a Stinkface last week. Before we get started though, did you know that Mattitude is practiced in over 100 countries or that Matt’s bedtime is 4am? Rikishi wipes himself with Matt’s shirt before taking him down off a clothesline. Matt’s top rope clothesline gets two but the rotund Samoan wins a slugout. A Stinkface doesn’t work but Matt is shoved away from the Twist of Fate, setting up the Rikishi Driver (I’ve missed that one) for the pin. Cole: “Mattitude has been deleted!”
Rating: D+. So Matt gets a new, amazing gimmick (which he probably came up with himself) and gets to lose clean to Rikishi to pay off a moment where he got humiliated. I mean, it’s not as bad as almost anything Raw has done lately but this isn’t the brightest booking in the world.
Rikishi dances post match but Big Show comes in and lays him out. Wasn’t he teasing a face turn on Raw? Show challenges Lesnar for the title.
Here’s Stephanie McMahon to present a trophy to Benoit and Angle. Kurt says he lead his team to victory last night so he’ll accept the trophy and put it on his Wall of Fame at home. Benoit grabs the trophy and says if it wasn’t for Stephanie’s ruling, he would have taken Angle out a long time ago. Angle says it’s his because he got the submission last night. They fight over the trophy and Stephanie gets hit in the face as the thing breaks. That earns both of them a slap to the face before Stephanie makes a match for the broken trophy.
Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri
Noble, dressed as Elvis of course, is defending in a rematch from their good effort on Sunday. Tajiri hits the ring after a lame impression and elbows the wig off the champ. Of course Tajiri puts the wig on for a little dance before dropping Noble (still in the Elvis jacket) into the corner. The Tarantula is broken up and Nidia offers a distraction, meaning Tajiri kicks the post by mistake. Back in and Noble kicks the leg out but can’t hit the Tiger Bomb. Nidia gets on the apron but Tajiri kicks the bickering couple together, only to get rolled up (with an assist from Nidia) to retain the title.
Rating: C-. These two work well together but you need more than four minutes to make something like this go. Noble has been champion for about four months now and I really don’t think anyone has noticed. I know the idea was to have Mysterio fix the division but when he’s doing all that other great stuff, it seems like a waste of time.
Tazz has the wig and we hear about next week’s Halloween party.
Dawn Marie, with the lowest cut dress legal by law, finds Torrie and apologizes for her behavior in recent weeks. She really cares for Al but she’ll break it off for the sake of Torrie and her family. Torrie says great and walks away, not really convinced.
Eddie and Chavo have a standoff with Angle and tell him that Benoit had some plans for him after the tournament was over. Naturally Angle believes him and tensions continue to heighten.
Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero
The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Edge and Chavo start things off with Edge’s armbar not getting him anywhere. Instead a shoulder puts Chavo down but he gets his knees up to block Rey’s springboard moonsault. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Rey sending the Guerreros outside but face miscommunication lets Eddie take over.
Eddie elbows Rey in the mask and it’s time to work on the ribs and back, which were banged up on Sunday. I love when they remember stuff from just a few days ago. A pumphandle backbreaker gives Eddie two and Chavo’s tilt-a-whirl version gets the same. Rey dropkicks Chavo into his cousin though and it’s off to Edge as things speed up again. An Edge-O-Matic gets two on Eddie but he’s still able to save Chavo from the 619.
Instead it’s the spear for two on Chavo, followed by the 619. A powerbomb/springboard seated senton crushes Chavo but Eddie makes the save with a slingshot hilo. The referee goes after Eddie, allowing Rey to sneak in a springboard legdrop to give Edge the pin. Eddie not realizing what was going on behind him gives us a great visual.
Rating: B. This didn’t have the time to work as well as their other stuff but these people are incapable of having a bad match at this point. Mysterio and Edge vs. Benoit and Angle in a rematch makes perfect sense after their masterpiece on Sunday. I’m sure the Guerreros will get in on the titles soon enough because they’re too good to leave out.
Undertaker is looking for Lesnar. Why would that feud continue?
Video on the Cell, narrated by Paul Heyman, about how Lesnar owns him now.
Here’s a limping Undertaker to call Lesnar out. He gets Heyman instead because Lesnar has no interest in hearing what Undertaker has to say. Scratch that though as Lesnar comes out and gets right in the ring anyway. So why was Heyman necessary there? Everyone has told Undertaker that his hand injury cost him the match but the reality is that Lesnar had his number on Sunday. Five years ago the hand wouldn’t have mattered but it mattered on Sunday.
Now the purists are going to complain about Lesnar bringing in Undertaker’s personal life (that sounds rather out of character for Undertaker) but he understands head games. He’s fought and beaten the best but Sunday, Lesnar was the better man. Undertaker goes to leave when Brock stops him and takes the mic. As for Sara, Brock needed and edge but he’s supposed to be all about business. I guess that’s an apology and leaning towards a face turn for Lesnar?
Brock and Heyman leave but Heyman stops and nods in respect to Undertaker. We’re not done though as Undertaker says that after twelve years, his body is…..going to be interrupted by Big Show. He can’t believe what he’s hearing because it’s been him beating Undertaker up for the last two years, not Lesnar. Undertaker says he’d rather be a broken down has been than a giant never was.
It’s time to leave again but this time Big Show follows and eventually passes Undertaker. Ever the moron (he is a face you know), Undertaker poses on the edge of the stage. Big Show, gorilla press, crash (onto what looks like a big pad that we never get a good look at). This took WAY too long to set up Big Show vs. Undertaker.
Post break some of the locker room has come out to check on Undertaker. Stephanie has now decided that she’s a medical expert and is bossing the EMT’s around. Undertaker is slowly put on a stretcher as Stephanie threatens the medical people if they don’t get him out of here faster. Eventually he gets off the stretcher and stumbles around with Arn Anderson shouting “LET US HELP YOU TAKE!” Agents eventually help walk him to the back.
And now, Dawn Marie! She tells Al that they should say goodbye now before turning around. See, she’s only been with a few men and he was the most passionate. Kissing ensues.
John Cena vs. Billy Kidman
Rematch from last week when Cena cheated to win. A dropkick puts Cena on the floor to start but a drive into the barricade has Kidman in trouble. Back in and a spinebuster gives Cena two but Kidman hits some more dropkicks. A middle rope back elbow to the jaw drops Cena and a hurricanrana (with a handful of rope) puts John away. So to recap we have two cheaters with .500 record in recent weeks. The WWE formula in a nutshell.
Cena lays Kidman out post match and shows some fire. I mean it’s some slightly extinguished fire because he just lost but that’s common around here.
Lesnar gets interviewed and wants to know where Funaki is. Anyway if Big Show wants a fight, he’s not hard to find.
Eddie apologizes to Benoit for what’s happened between them and offers to show some respect. Benoit smells an ulterior motive.
Big Show goes into Lesnar’s locker room. Heyman tries to talk things down but Brock says Show can have a title shot.
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
For a broken trophy. Angle takes over on the mat to start and Benoit looks annoyed at not being able to sit out on him. Kurt does it again until Benoit elbows him in the face for the break. A hard clothesline cuts Benoit off and a belly to back gets two. They’re not really following up on stuff here as it’s one move and then a breather before they do anything else.
Benoit speeds things up a bit with a clothesline to the back of the head, followed by some rolling German suplexes. It’s hard not to cringe watching their heads slam off the mat like that. Angle reverses the third suplex into two of his own but the Angle Slam is reversed into a release German suplex. One heck of a Swan Dive gets two so we hit the Crossface.
Angle rolls him over and reverses into the ankle lock but Benoit small packages him for two. The Angle Slam connects for the same and it’s back to the ankle. That’s reversed back into the Crossface but Angle reverses that as well. Benoit goes up and gets belly to bellied right back down….but here are the Guerreros for a distraction so Chavo can hit Angle with a belt, giving Benoit an easy pin. Benoit might not have seen what happened.
Rating: B. The match was good but they didn’t have nearly enough time to do what they’re capable of pulling off. These two have some of the best chemistry in wrestling and even if we’ve seen it multiple times, it’s cool to see them bust out all those ridiculous counters. The ending is annoying but if it gives us more Eddie greatness, I think I can live with it.
Angle pops up and hits a quick Angle Slam on Benoit, followed by breaking the trophy. I’m glad some things never change.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good here but this one depends on your taste in stories. Lesnar vs. Big Show is just depressing, Dawn Marie and the Wilsons works for an obvious reason and the tag stuff is outstanding. If you can stand some of the slow paced stories and at times dumb ideas (What is Dawn doing this for?), you can get to the excellent wrestling. Unfortunately, Big Show coming in at such a high place isn’t going to help anything as I’d be more than fine with Lesnar vs. most of the Smackdown Six. The good stuff is REALLY good right now though and that’s what matters most. Well that and no Katie Vick.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: March 21, 2017
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips
We’ve got two shows left before Wrestlemania XXXIII and it’s not likely that any brand new ideas are going to be added to the card. Odds are we’ll have Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin confirmed and we’re guaranteed to see American Alpha defending the Smackdown Tag Team Titles against the Usos. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles from last week, including Daniel Bryan firing AJ.
Bryan is in his office when AJ comes in. Shane isn’t here tonight but Bryan warns AJ to watch his steps. Styles says tonight, everyone is going to find out what it means to beat up Shane McMahon.
Mauro Ranallo is out sick this week. This is starting to get a bit suspicious.
Here’s AJ to the ring for a chat. It’s been seven days since he did what he did to Shane and he doesn’t feel a bit wrong about his actions. Shane’s challenge is accepted because AJ wants to be part of Wrestlemania but the question is why would Shane want to face him at Wrestlemania. As for tonight, he’s going to be waiting for Shane to arrive again and we’ll see if it’s even worse than last week.
Baron Corbin asks Bryan if Dean Ambrose has accepted his Wrestlemania challenge. Bryan hasn’t heard from Ambrose in weeks so tonight, Corbin can face Randy Orton.
Tag Team Titles: American Alpha vs. Usos
Alpha is defending after the Usos beat them last week. Jordan takes Jimmy down to the mat to start and the twins are in early trouble. A double clothesline sends both Usos outside and it’s all champions as we take a break. Back with Gable fighting out of a chinlock but getting sent chest first into the buckle ala Bret Hart.
Chad breaks away but gets sent to the floor instead making the tag. That’s good for a nine count before Gable is put in the Tree of Woe. Of course he powers up to avoid a charge and the hot tag brings in Jordan. An Angle Slam (they’re just trolling us now) gets two on Jey but Jimmy escapes the Steiner Bulldog.
Back to back superkicks puts both champs down and the Superfly Splash is good for a very near fall. Jordan breaks up another splash and Jey is superplexed down. The Steiner Bulldog is only good for two as Jimmy makes the save. I completely bought that as the finish. With the other three down on the floor, Gable moonsaults down onto everyone. Back in and Jordan gets crotched on the middle rope, allowing Jimmy to superkick him down for the pin and the titles at 12:32.
Rating: B+. This was great stuff with some really strong false finishes. They also really surprised me as I didn’t think the Usos had a chance after the Superfly Splash was only good for two. It’s not like American Alpha has done anything with the titles (not their fault) so maybe changing the belts can give them a shot in the arm for all of a few days. I just hope they don’t put the rematch on Wrestlemania because the card just does not have room for it.
AJ is waiting in the parking lot.
Luke Harper wants Bray Wyatt next week.
Miz and Maryse have a special never before seen episode of Total Bellas. It’s Maryse as both Bellas (a really, really good look for her) and of course mocking everything the two of them do. Maryse as Nikki: “Of course I’m Nikki! I’M THE ONE WITH THE HAT!” Maryse as Brie: “BRIE MODE!” Cue Miz as John Cena, who has a bunch of rules like no singing. Since Nikki has followed a rule, he’ll pop a question to her, meaning he has a big balloon labeled “the question” which he pops.
Again, I have no idea why I’m supposed to boo Miz and Maryse. If you watch the show, which is supposed to be REALITY, this is exactly what Cena and the Bellas are like. Cena is a control freak who has a ridiculous set of rules and the Bellas are two of the dumbest people who have ever lived. Why am I supposed to cheer for them?
Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton
Corbin shoulders him down to start but gets sent into the corner for some uppercuts and right hands. A hard whip into the post keeps Orton down though and it’s off to a break. Back with Corbin sliding underneath the ropes and back in for his clothesline. Orton grabs the powerslam (that’s always good looking) but can’t hit the elevated DDT.
Instead they go outside with Orton sending him into various metal objects like a good viper is supposed to do. Now the DDT hits but of course it’s too early for the first RKO, meaning Corbin gets two off Deep Six instead. They head outside again (happening too often) and Corbin goes into the steps. Back in again and here’s Ambrose for the distraction, setting up the RKO for the pin at 12:49.
Rating: C+. Pretty good stuff here as Corbin has the size to make his offense look good against someone like Orton. There was no doubt that Orton was going over here (save for a surprise by Wyatt) because there’s no reason to have him lose so close to his biggest match of the year.
Corbin vs. Ambrose for the title is official at Wrestlemania.
Orton is in the back talking about his match when the lights start to flicker. He tells Bray to show himself but here are an army of people in sheep masks to beat Orton down. Bray appears and seems to bless Orton with a red X on the end. Wyatt kneels in front of him and says Orton changed him by exposing his one weakness. The power of Sister Abigail lives inside him forever and it’s time to sing.
Breezango vs. John Cena
Tyler Breeze is dressed as Nikki Bella, which is far too common of a thing tonight. Before the match, Fandango gives Cena fashion tickets and introduces Breeze as his muscle. This brings out the real Nikki. The bell rings and Cena does his normal stuff but here’s Breeze to the apron. Nikki comes in to spear him down and hits the Rack Attack 2.0. Stereo STF’s give us simultaneous taps at 1:29. For a Southpaw Regional Wrestling related match, I’ve seen worse.
Carmella vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya is on commentary and comes in to hit Carmella for the DQ.
Post match Mickie James and Alexa Bliss come out for the big brawl with Bliss being the last woman standing.
Time for more Total Bellas with Miz (as Cena) reading his affections for Maryse (as Nikki) off cue cards and giving her a diamond…….Dallas Page yoga set. As we see the kitchen (the TV kitchen where the unseen servants prepare food off camera so we can feel relateable to the show you see), Miz gives her a WWE ring (“It’s to scale!”). Later, in the bedroom, which is TOTALLY where Cena sleeps, Miz agrees to tie the knot. On his shoes you see. Maryse is sad to end things. These are hilarious and makes me cheer for Miz and Maryse even more.
AJ is still waiting but is disappointed when Rhyno and Heath Slater arrive. With fifteen minutes left. Why is Shane even bothering to show up at this point?
Actually never mind as Shane is in the arena, which doesn’t please AJ. Back from a break with Shane, sporting one heck of a black eye, calling AJ out. We see Styles making the long walk to the ring and he takes his time going through the curtain. AJ wants to apologize but Shane beats on him anyway. Styles suplexes him into the barricade and loads up the announcers’ table, only to have Shane hit him in the head with a monitor. Shane goes up top for the big elbow…..which MIGHT have grazed AJ’s forearm. The fans call BS on it as Shane slowly gets up to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. As is almost always the case this time of year, the wrestling wasn’t the point and if you think it was, you’re missing the point. This was all about setting up Wrestlemania (and cracking me up with the Total Bellas stuff) and they did so on a bunch of matches. The Shane elbow looked horrible but I don’t think anyone was expecting him to really be able to pull that off after last year’s performance. This show did its job, which is more important right now.
Results
Usos b. American Alpha – Superkick to Jordan
Randy Orton b. Baron Corbin – RKO
John Cena b. Fandango – STF
Carmella b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Natalya interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – October 17, 2002: That’s Not How A Shower Works
Smackdown Date: October 17, 2002
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the go home show for No Mercy and after the disaster that was Raw, this could be two hours of Edge having a meatball sandwich and paying his water bill and it would be more entertaining. The focus tonight will be on the Tag Team Title tournament and hopefully not so much on Undertaker’s fake affair. Let’s get to it.
We look at the accusations against Undertaker last week, resulting in him attacking Lesnar.
Opening sequence.
Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Ron Simmon/D-Von
Simmons takes Edge into the corner to start and hammers away before a flying forearm puts him down. D-Von comes in and takes a springboard seated senton as the good guys are flying so far. The 619 misses though and Simmons plants Rey with the spinebuster to take over. D-Von misses a middle rope elbow though and Rey’s spinwheel kick allows the hot tag to Edge. It’s time for some double teaming as D-Von is placed on top with Edge launching Rey up for a hurricanrana. There’s a spear to Simmons and the Edgecution ends D-Von.
Rating: C-. Not exactly the most shocking ending in the world but it’s just a warmup to set up the finals with all the action coming at the pay per view. I’m really not sure why D-Von and Simmons weren’t Billy and Chuck but I’m sure there’s some reason that someone over thought for some reason.
Eddie and Chavo run out to beat on Edge and Mysterio.
Tonight we’ve got Nidia vs. Jamie Noble with Tajiri as guest referee for no apparent reason. Nidia comes up and flirts with him in Spanish before Jamie comes up. Some sex related talk ensues and Nidia slaps him in the face.
Jamie Noble vs. Nidia
Tajiri is guest referee. Nidia kicks Jamie low and jumps on his back before getting flipped down to the mat. Jamie doesn’t want to hit her so he sidesteps a dropkick and tells Nidia to stop it. Nidia tries a sunset flip but Jamie rolls her up for the pin. I have no idea what the point of this was and I forgot Tajiri was guest referee.
Nidia slaps Tajiri and Jamie beats him up.
Undertaker says he isn’t a liar but he lied about now knowing Tracy. Apparently something did happen with her but it was years before he met his wife. Vengeance is guaranteed. This was nothing.
Eddie and Chavo go into their locker room and find Benoit waiting on them. Benoit isn’t happy with what happened last week and stares them down so Eddie begs for forgiveness and goes into their history, dating all the way back to the Radicalz. Eddie starts crying about how Benoit was there through his personal issues and now Benoit is hurting his feelings!
Benoit still doesn’t move so Eddie goes into a rage with his arms waving and daring Benoit to hit him. Chavo finally drags Eddie away after one of the most manic, entertaining performances I’ve seen in a long time while Chris never says a word. Eddie was on another planet here.
John Cena vs. Billy Kidman
This is over their loss last week in the tournament. Cena seems to blame Kidman for the loss and might be teasing a heel turn. An armdrag and headscissor stagger Cena to start but he launches Kidman out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and some whips into the corner have Kidman in trouble and Cole makes sure to point out the lack of a smile on Cena’s face. A pair of suplexes give Cena back to back near falls and the fans are all over him. Kidman reverses a powerbomb into a sunset flip but Cena grabs a backslide and throws his feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.
Rating: C. Well it’s not like Cena was lighting the world up as a face anymore. Turning him heel is a good enough idea here, especially after how far he’s fallen since his debut. Then again, WWE hasn’t exactly done anything with him so it’s not like it’s his fault.Just build him up one step at a time and things should be fine.
Heyman, Lesnar and Tracy storm into Stephanie’s office to say that Tracy slept with Undertaker ten days ago. Stephanie ejects her so Heyman goes into a rant about how Lesnar and Matt Hardy are the future around here instead of Undertaker. It would behoove Stephanie to force Undertaker to take that cast off for Sunday. Stephanie makes sure to get in a line about Heyman disrespecting her before putting Lesnar in with Chuck Palumbo.
Post break Undertaker yells at Stephanie about Tracy and about possibly having to take the cast off. Stephanie thinks Heyman makes a good point because it would be unfair to have the cast INSIDE THE CELL. Undertaker breaks stuff due to the high levels of stupidity.
Brock Lesnar vs. Chuck Palumbo
Non-title. Chuck goes with some hard right hands to start so Brock just takes his head off with a clothesline. The beating is on and Palumbo starts bleeding from the mouth. A belly to belly suplex sets up the waistlock and Chuck is in trouble. Palumbo is tied up in the Tree of Woe but Brock misses a charge and crashes into the corner. Heyman: “IS THAT LEGAL???” Chuck gets in a superkick of his own and a belly to belly gets two. Brock gets tired of this nonsense and gives Chuck a belly to belly of his own before finishing with the F5.
Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect here and that’s not a good thing. They did keep it short at least but that’s still not exactly the best idea in the first place. I do however like the idea of Lesnar steamrolling someone before heading into the Cell as you can only have Undertaker chase him off so many times.
Speaking of Undertaker chasing Lesnar off, that’s exactly what we get again after the match, including a cast shot to bust Lesnar open.
Torrie Wilson is stretching when her dad comes up. She wants to talk to him about the stuff with Dawn Marie but he ignores her and gives him flowers. Torrie has to go to the ring so she asks one of the backstage women to keep an eye on the flowers.
Torrie Wilson/Rikishi vs. Dawn Marie/Matt Hardy
It’s a great night as we get the debut of the Matt Hardy search video, complete with your first Mattitude Fact: Matt Has Beaten Undertaker Two Straight Times. When you look at this and the Broken stuff, it really is amazing to think about what kind of complete nonsense Matt has gotten over. He doesn’t get enough credit for that stuff. The ladies start things off but Matt tags himself in. That brings in Rikishi so I’m sure you can get the idea. Dawn slaps Rikishi and gets gorilla pressed.
We get some Melina-level screeching before it’s back to Torrie for a horrible swinging neckbreaker. Dawn gets two off a boot in the corner with Cole saying Torrie managed to pop out. Taz: “What popped out???” Rikishi comes back in but misses the sit down on Dawn’s chest. Matt bails before Rikishi can try it on him so Rikishi settles for a spinebuster. With nothing else working, Dawn comes in and jumps on Rikishi’s back to no avail. A double Stinkface has Matt’s face eyes bugging out but he’s still able to turn over a small package to give Dawn the pin on Torrie.
Rating: D-. Eh I can’t call anything with Torrie and Dawn in there a total failure but this story is killing a lot of the show. Then again, so is Rikishi and Matt Hardy having random matches like this one. That’s the case for so much of this show though: nothing matches that don’t make me want to see the pay per view and just fill in time between Lesnar and Undertaker segments.
Post match Rikishi crushes Matt so Torrie loads up a Stinkface, including hiking up the shorts. Of course Rikishi takes her place when Matt closes his eyes.
Lesnar is getting his cut looked at and sends Paul to get Stephanie to ban the cast. Like I said: the matches are just filling in time between the segments.
After a break, Heyman demands that the cast be taken off before the Cell. Again: IT’S THE CELL! WHY IS A CAST SUCH A BIG DEAL???
We run down the No Mercy card.
Kurt Angle accuses Benoit of wanting his gold medals. Actually hang on. Angle thinks Benoit had something to do with the attack last week. That’s nonsense because Angle would come after Benoit face to face so they better get along out there. Again, Benoit didn’t say a word.
Torrie finds out that there was a card with the flowers and they were for Dawn. Someone backstage tells her that he’s in the locker room with Dawn so Torrie finds them in the shower together. Dawn is not exactly clothed and Al is…..thankfully in his full clothes. I think he might need a few pointers there.
Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero
Edge and Mysterio run out and jump the Guerreros to make up for the earlier attack. Just to keep things fair, Benoit and Angle take a beating as well. Back from a break with Eddie stomping Angle in the corner until Kurt gets annoyed and throws the family around. It’s off to Benoit for a hard elbow to the jaw and a backbreaker for two. Chavo comes in and eats a suplex from Kurt, followed by a hard Benoit knee to the ribs.
The family finally gets Chris down and stomps away, only to have Benoit snap off the fastest Crossface I can ever remember for a near submission on Eddie. Some double teaming sets up a chinlock on Benoit before Eddie goes with the simple kick to the face. Chavo takes too long going up top though and one heck of a superplex brings him back down. The place is going nuts for Angle and the hot tag oddly quiets them. It’s time for the German suplexes all around but Chavo catches Angle in a brainbuster.
Eddie adds the frog splash for two but Benoit slaps on the Crossface. That’s broken up so Angle tries to Slam Eddie, only to have the referee get bumped. Eddie gets the El Paso Lasso, which Angle quickly reverses into the ankle lock for the unseen tap. Chavo tries to bring in a chair but Benoit takes it away and, after teasing turning on Angle, clocks both Guerreros. That means an Angle Slam to Eddie for the pin to send Angle and Benoit to No Mercy.
Rating: A-. This is a great example of take four guys, tell them to go have fun and turn them loose. They had nonstop action here with all four beating the heck out of each other and some great mat work. There’s almost no way these guys aren’t going to have a blast out there and it gets more entertaining every time. That match on Sunday has serious potential.
Stephanie has come to a decision and we’ll hear it in the ring. This was a totally pointless scene.
Speaking of pointless, here’s Stephanie to announce if Undertaker can use his cast in the Cell where ANYTHING GOES. First though, here are Heyman and Lesnar to pay close attention. Stephanie agrees that it’s anything goes in the Cell but Undertaker has been behaving very badly. Eh it’s cool though and he can wear the cast.
Lesnar gets right in her face (that would earn him a castration today) but here’s Undertaker…..who charges right into a spinebuster. Lesnar stomps on the cast and leaves but Heyman makes sure to get in one last gloat. Cast shots to Heyman and the returning Lesnar allow Undertaker to beat Heyman up even more (drawing some good blood) to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. That main event is more than enough to carry the show but sweet goodness I never need to hear Stephanie talk to Heyman and Lesnar again. The fact that the whole show was built around a weapon being used inside the most violent match in the company and wound up going nowhere tells you a lot of this show’s problem. The stuff aside from the tournament and the cast stuff felt worthless and that’s not good when there’s so much awesome in the ring.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: March 14, 2017
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips
We’ve got three Smackdowns left before Wrestlemania and now we have a #1 contender to Bray Wyatt’s Smackdown World Title. However, that means we have issues between Commissioner Shane McMahon and AJ Styles and there’s an official confrontation scheduled for tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s Talking Smack with AJ Styles confronting Shane McMahon after last week’s Smackdown ended.
Daniel Bryan is on the phone with someone and runs down the show when AJ comes in. He wants Shane and threatens to slap Daniel if he says anything. Daniel suggests being calm because AJ needs to worry about his career.
Here’s AJ in the ring to complain about what happened last week. Yeah he has to jump through a bunch of hoops and he knows someone like John Cena would never have to do that. His rematch came in a triple threat match and then against five opponents in the Elimination Chamber.
After that, Styles won a battle royal (not really) and beat the other guy they said won clean in the middle of the ring to become the #1 contender. Oh wait because Randy Orton burned Bray Wyatt’s house down (Styles: “AND DIDN’T GET ARRESTED OR GO TO JAIL!”) and now he’s in the main event of Wrestlemania XXXIII. On the other hand, AJ doesn’t even have a match and he’s going to do something about it.
David Otunga is filming a movie and Mauro Ranallo is snowed in due to the blizzard in the northeast so we have a two man commentary booth tonight.
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
Becky sends her into the corner to start and offers a handshake, earning one heck of a slap to the face. The threat of a choke sends Natalya to the floor and we take a break. Back with Natalya slamming Becky on the floor and grabbing a chinlock. Naturally that means the comeback is on with the Bexploder into the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 8:50.
Rating: C-. A good chunk of this was in the commercial so you can only get so much out of it. This is all about setting things up for the Wrestlemania match, whatever that’s going to be. I’m hoping it’s not a battle royal but a gauntlet match sounds like it’s going to eat up a lot of time. That being said, a gauntlet could be a great way to introduce someone new. Say, the Empress of Tomorrow?
Post match Carmella comes in and superkicks both of them down.
Video on John Cena hosting the Kids Choice Awards. It helps that Cena can come off like a big kid with ease so he’s kind of perfect for the role.
Post break Carmella says she’s the next champion.
It’s time for MizTV with Miz introducing himself and Maryse as the special guests. First up we see a clip of last week’s mixed tag with Cena and Nikki being taken down after their win. We also see Miz ripping into Cena on Talking Smack in another of those awesome promos that are going to be cast aside so Nikki Bella can get her marriage proposal.
Maryse tells a story about Nikki stabbing her in the back when she was going to come back to WWE and be on the first season of Total Divas. Then Nikki told her not to sign the contract because they could get a better one for more money. See, Nikki knew she could get what she wanted because she was dating Cena, meaning she was “untouchable”. The contract fell through though and only the Bellas got the big deal.
Cue Nikki and Cena to chase them off with Nikki saying Maryse wouldn’t be here if she had anything to say about it. Maryse is the one who steals money every night because she’s some brainless blowup doll. Nikki invites her into the ring for a fight but here’s Bryan to say Miz running away makes Bryan want to punch him in the face.
That makes him think of all the times Miz makes fun of him for not being able to wrestle and all the times that he (poorly) imitates Bryan’s moves and the fact that Miz knows Bryan can’t punch him in the face makes Bryan want to punch him in the face even more. However, Cena and Nikki can so the mixed tag is on at Wrestlemania.
Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James
Non-title. They lock up hard to start before Mickie takes her into the corner for some hard stomping. Bliss sends her outside off a hard whip and we take a break. Back with Bliss holding a cravate before being sent into the corner. Alexa fights up and grabs her by the throat with some crazy looking eyes. A sunset flip gets two on Mickie but the MickDT is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence. One heck of a right hand looks to set up Insult to Injury but Mickie kicks her in the head for the pin at 8:38.
Rating: C. This was a bit better than I was expecting though as usual I can’t stand the idea of a champion getting pinned clean in non-title matches. I’m still curious to see what the gimmick is going to be because they’ve been teasing the idea that it could be something more interesting than expected. Hopefully it’s not just one big mess of a match but WWE has done worse things.
AJ is waiting in the parking lot when Shane arrives. The beating is on with Shane being beaten up against an ice machine and then going through the window of a car. Fit Finlay makes a cameo to get rid of AJ as Shane is bleeding from the top of the head.
Back from a break with a doctor checking on Shane and blood coming down his head. Shane doesn’t want to leave and has to be helped into another room.
The Usos don’t like what AJ did but AJ takes his bag to leave. Daniel stops AJ and fires him.
Mojo Rawley vs. Dolph Ziggler
They take turns throwing sweat at each other, which JBL calls one of the strangest things he’s ever seen. Ziggler is thrown over the top and out to the floor twice in a row so he tosses JBL’s hat. Back in and a dropkick gets one on Rawley but he throws Ziggler over the top for a third time. That’s enough for Ziggler and he takes the countout at 2:29.
We look at the attack on Shane again. For some reason there was a camera inside the car.
Here’s Randy Orton to discuss what happened a few weeks ago. Orton joined the Wyatt Family because he knew it was the only way to take them down. It could have been a single RKO but he wanted more. Now there’s one more step to climb though and that’s why at Wrestlemania, he’s taking everything from Wyatt.
Cue Wyatt on screen to say Orton has stripped him down to nothing. Sister Abigail still beats in his heart though and now he has no boundaries, making him all powerful. Bray reaches down and digs through the dirt, which he then rubs all over himself. He says follow the buzzards and screams before the camera cuts. So Orton threatened Wyatt and then Bray soiled himself?
We look back at Baron Corbin lowering the forklift on Dean Ambrose last week. I still love the referees trying to lift the several thousand pound fork before realizing THEY CAN JUST PUSH THE UP BUTTON.
Corbin challenges Ambrose for Wrestlemania.
American Alpha vs. Usos
Non-title. Jordan starts fast with a dropkick and grabs a front facelock on Jimmy. We cut to a split screen with Jamie Noble and Finlay helping Shane through the back and come back with the Usos going up top at the same time but the champs stare them into a standoff. Back from a break with Jordan getting kicked out to the floor so the Usos can take over.
Jimmy grabs a chinlock and it’s back to the split screen as Shane goes through the exit but turns around, seeming heading back to the ring. Jordan sends Jimmy into the corner and makes the hot tag to Gable for some house cleaning. The Steiner Bulldog is loaded up but Gable gets caught in the ropes, allowing Jey to superkick Jordan for the pin at 10:39.
Rating: C+. This was just filler until we get to the Shane stuff, which I’m sure is going to come up right after the match. I wasn’t wild on the idea of a champ losing and I’m much less into the idea of two champions losing in a single night. I really hope this isn’t added to Wrestlemania either as the card is already bloated and this really doesn’t need to be on there.
Shane stumbles out says AJ has an opponent for Wrestlemania. The show goes off the air less than five seconds later.
Overall Rating: B-. This was similar to last night’s show as they were setting up angles and pushing ones they had already established instead of focusing on wrestling. Really, with so little time left before Wrestlemania, there’s no real need to have a lot of in-ring action. One major difference here from Raw though: they did the stuff with Shane without cutting off the wrestling they had going, meaning no time is lost. Either go split screen like this or cut out some of the segments. It’s not that hard. Anyway, good show here as they’re making me want to see what they’ve got at Wrestlemania.
Results
Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her
Mickie James b. Alexa Bliss – Spinning kick to the head
Mojo Rawley b. Dolph Ziggler via countout
Usos b. American Alpha – Superkick to Jordan
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – October 10, 2002: Stop Trying to Be Raw
Smackdown Date: October 10, 2002
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re ten days away from No Mercy and the big question is Undertaker’s hand, which was broken last week. That’s not good when he’s heading into the Cell with Brock Lesnar. The other major story is the Tag Team Title tournament, which is almost destined to offer a string of great matches. Let’s get to it.
We open with one of those stuttering recaps with Stephanie McMahon narrating because we watch these shows to hear from her. Anyway we recap Undertaker vs. Lesnar with the OFFICIALLY broken hand (you want to make sure it’s the official one or you won’t be able to get a warranty) and an announcement of the Cell match.
Undertaker is in the parking lot.
Here’s Matt Hardy with something to say. After the WE WANT JEFF chants die down, Matt brags about beating Undertaker for the second time last week. Matt talks about how last week was a defining moment in Mattitude and we see a clip of last week’s pin. Of course we see Undertaker coming to the ring and the beating is on in a hurry. A few headbutts and cast shots open Matt up but he gets in a low blow. That’s fine with Undertaker who casts Matt in the head and then casts a chair into Matt’s head. Undertaker punches the post and Matt FINALLY escapes. This went on far longer than it should have but you have to fill time somehow.
Rikishi vs. Eddie Guerrero
Fallout from last week where Eddie make Mark Henry tap in a tag match. Rikishi doesn’t waste time and grabs a bearhug but Eddie crawls over into a sunset flip. That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a dropkick, allowing Chavo to get in some choking from the floor. The cheating earns Uncle Eddie a spinebuster but he goes after the knee and scores with the slingshot hilo for no cover.
The frog splash misses though and Rikishi loads up the Stinkface, meaning Chavo has to make another save. That means Rikishi superkicks him into the corner as well and Stinkfaces them both. You would think that the combined forces could have allowed them to escape but alas not so much. The referee, who somehow hasn’t called for a DQ, has to deal with Eddie throwing Chavo a chair. It is but a ruse though as Eddie uses another chair on Rikishi’s leg, setting up the El Paso Lasso for the tap.
Rating: C-. I could go for watching the Guerreros do their cheating every day. They have so much chemistry together and really do feel like they could beat anyone with these shenanigans. It helps that Eddie is doing some of the best work of his career right now and looking more and more awesome every single week. Rikishi was just fine here too as the one that gets to stand still while Eddie does his thing.
Torrie Wilson can’t believe Dawn Marie has challenged her to a lingerie contest. I can’t quite hear what she says next because the pop is far too strong. Torrie’s father shows up and she tries to hide her lingerie choices before getting him away.
Stephanie wants the tag division to be legitimate so she lectures Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Wouldn’t it make more sense to bring in regular teams to make the belts a bit more legit? I mean, I’m no one to question Stephanie but reforming the Dudleyz or something like that would have made more sense. Or not letting THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS JUMP TO RAW IN THE FIRST PLACE. Angle mocks Benoit’s missing tooth and they get in an argument over who leaves first.
Rey Mysterio is ready for his tournament match with Edge tonight when Nidia comes in for a Spanish argument. Rey seems to insult her so Nidia storms off to yell at Jamie Noble. Jamie says don’t treat him like that because he has a tournament match of his own tonight. Coffee is tossed away and security breaks it up.
The Guerreros are fired up over their win when Benoit comes out of Stephanie’s office (Does that mean he won or lost the competition with Angle?) and looks rather serious. Eddie: “Did you just get in trouble with the principal man?” Benoit doesn’t want to be suspended for a year but Chavo chimes in with a rumor that Angle is taking a year off to train for the Olympics. Chris is suspicious when Angle comes out. His greetings to Eddie and Chavo respectively: “What up home slice?” and “Word up my Chicano friend.” The Guerreros leave and Angle things they were talking about him. Violence is threatened and Benoit smirks.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy Kidman/John Cena vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit
The winners get the Guerreros next week. Kidman hurricanranas Benoit down to start and it’s off to Cena (in purple and orange, Phoenix Suns colors) for a hiptoss on Angle. That’s not cool with Kurt so he snaps off a belly to belly to send Kidman flying out to the floor. Benoit and Angle get annoyed at each other again (of course) so Chris rolls some German suplexes on Kidman.
We hit a kneeling half crab with Benoit cranking on it as only he can. Kidman does the tag that the referee doesn’t see spot so Angle can throw him down again. Angle is finally sent into the post and Benoit takes an enziguri, allowing the real hot tag off to Cena. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Benoit’s powerbomb is countered into an X-Factor to give Kidman a near fall. Angle is back in for an Angle Slam though but Cena saves the ankle lock. He can’t save the Crossface though and Kidman taps.
Rating: C. This got better at the end but was there any real question about who was going to win here? They kind of screwed themselves over with the “one year suspension” thing because no one is going to buy that happening. Angle and Benoit trying to one up each other is very entertaining though and that makes for some fun matches.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman arrive with a good looking woman. They want to have the path to the ring cleared because they have an announcement.
And now for the highlight of the show: a Desire video all about Matt Hardy with Matt narrating. I know he gets a lot of flack for all these reinventions but when they hit, they hit huge.
We recap the Undertaker vs. Matt brawl.
Here are Lesnar, Heyman and that woman for what I really hope isn’t the announcement I think it’s going to be. Heyman talks about Undertaker being in the back talking about the Cell, which Lesnar isn’t qualified to talk about. However, Tracy is qualified to talk about what kind of a man Undertaker is. This brings out a ticked off Undertaker so Heyman and Lesnar bail. Tracy stays though and calls him Mark because it’s serious you see.
They’ve been sleeping together for three months and she just found out he’s married. The big SARA tattoo on his throat wasn’t a hint that there was a woman in his life? She didn’t care that he was famous and promised to never take the relationship permanent. The fans chant some VERY unkind things about Tracy until Undertaker denies it. Tracy slaps him in the face and storms off.
Post break, Heyman and Lesnar are leaving when Stephanie pops up to put Lesnar in the tournament with Tajiri. It’s important to have the best teams, which is why the Dudley Boyz are still separated right? Heyman protests so Stephanie guarantees him that Undertaker is banned from ringside. If he interferes, he’s out of the title match.
Billy Gunn vs. Reverend D-Von
The Gunn is back and so is the generic rock music. D-Von, with Ron Simmons in his corner, hammers away to start but gets clotheslined for two. That’s enough for D-Von to take a breather on the floor and Simmons gets in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock as the announcers ignore the match to talk about anything else. Can you blame them in this case? A powerslam gets two but Billy grabs the One and Only for no cover. Simmons breaks up the Fameasser so Chuck superkicks him, allowing the Fameasser to connect for the pin a few seconds later.
Rating: D. Boring match here but that’s all you can expect here. I’m sure there’s a good reason to have D-Von lose before he and Simmons have their semifinal match next week. At least Bubba is still getting to team with Spike over on Raw and fill in a spot in a one off gimmick match. That’s also all we’ll see of Gunn until June of next year as he wrecked his shoulder a few days later at a house show.
Undertaker can’t get a word in with Sara and she hangs up on him. This is exactly what I want to see to build up the most violent match in the company.
Chavo is holding his head and screaming for Benoit. Chris comes up and Chavo says Angle jumped Eddie. Benoit goes off to find them and Chavo shoves him into a closet where violence can be heard. A smiling Eddie comes out holding a dented chair and saying Angle did it.
Torrie is ready for her lingerie contest and asks her dad to not watch (well duh). Dawn Marie comes up and gives Al a preview of her outfit, which he seems to approve of.
Lingerie contest, Torrie wins, Cole thinks this is WAY more impressive than it really is, Torrie won’t shake hands after winning.
Post break Al is waiting outside the women’s locker room when Dawn comes up to give him the Divas Undressed magazine with her hotel room key marking her pages.
Heyman is telling Brock what to watch for in the tag match when Lesnar asks for his phone. Brock calls Sara and asks if she’s ok before smiling and hanging up. Heyman looks somewhere between mortified and inspired.
We hear Tracy’s bad acting skills again.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Brock Lesnar/Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge
The winners get D-Von and Simmons next week for reasons that make my head hurt. Edge and Lesnar start with the champ shoving him down with ease. The Canadian pops back up and gets in a takedown before mocking Lesnar’s pose. That just ticks Lesnar off and I don’t see this ending well. If nothing else, Brock being on the floor gives Cole a chance to praise Stephanie’s business sense.
Back in and the beating begins but Mysterio tags himself in and springboards into a crossbody on Lesnar. That gives us the staredown with Brock hitting something like a powerslam for two. Tajiri tags himself in for the first kick before grabbing a chinlock. That’s followed by the more successful Tarantula but Rey escapes and grabs a hurricanrana.
The hot tag brings in Edge and Lesnar has no issues watching his partner get beaten up. Edge makes the mistake of knocking Brock off the apron and here comes the champ. Brock actually gets dropped by a flying forearm and Tajiri kicks Lesnar by mistake. A double dropkick puts Lesnar on the floor and the 619 into the spear sends Edge and Rey on.
Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect from these four in this situation. I could certainly go for Tajiri vs. Rey and Edge vs. Lesnar doesn’t sound too bad either. I’m not sure I get the logic of giving the face team such an easy path to the finals but the tournament needs to be the best or something.
Lesnar cleans house until Undertaker makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. There’s good stuff sprinkled through this show but it’s not enough to overcome the stupid Tracy story, the pretty lame tournament stuff and Billy Gunn vs. D-Von. Smackdown works because it has a bunch of action instead of the weak drama and bad storylines. Give us any two combinations of the really talented guys for twelve minutes or so and everything will be fine.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: March 7, 2017
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, Tom Phillips, David Otunga
We’re down to four shows left before Wrestlemania XXXIII and tonight we’re likely finding out who is challenging for the Smackdown World Title. I know you might have heard that one before but this time seems to be the real thing. Tonight AJ Styles faces Randy Orton for the title shot against Bray Wyatt at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Randy Orton joining Bray Wyatt, seemingly with the intent to betray him later. That led us to last week where Orton burned Bray’s barn down, presumably destroying Sister Abigail’s grave in the process. I know I’m older than the average fan, but in my day, felonious arson recorded on tape wouldn’t be seen as a face turn.
Here are Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan to get things going. They’re not sure who should get the title shot as Daniel thinks it should be Orton while Shane prefers Styles. Bryan talks about how the winner of the Royal Rumble has to get the shot. Shane says no one has ever given up their shot like Orton did (Orton would be the third I believe). This leads to more recaps and the fans seem to like the idea of Styles getting the shot. Therefore, tonight we’re having a match for the #1 contendership. This too quite a bit longer than necessary.
Post break AJ gets in the bosses’ faces and says he’s tired of this anti-AJ conspiracy. AJ makes it clear that he’s not afraid of fire.
James Ellsworth/Carmella vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella
Before the match, Ellsworth says he beat AJ Styles three times in a row and it took Cena three times to get his first win. That makes Ellsworth the mack daddy of Smackdown! The women start and here are Miz and Maryse at the bell. The distraction lets Carmella get in a superkick and we take an early break.
Back with Miz and Maryse on commentary and Nikki kicking Carmella to the floor. There’s the hot tag off to Cena and Ellsworth has to come in. Ellsworth slaps him in the face and gets ProtoPlexed. Carmella gets in Cena’s face and eats a forearm, setting up a double Shuffle, stereo AA/Rack Attack 2.0 and double STF’s for the tap at 7:11.
Rating: D. This was completely not about the match of course and there’s nothing wrong with that. The idea here is to set up the mixed tag at Wrestlemania and having Cena and Bella dominate a couple of goons in their first match together is fine. This accomplished a goal and that’s all it needed to do.
Miz and Maryse lay them out post match with Miz going on a rant about how he and Maryse have been the real first couple of WWE for a year now and it sickens him to see someone pretend to have real love for the sake of promoting their brands. Maryse throws the mic at Bella and we’re out.
Orton suggests that AJ run.
Rick Rude Hall of Fame announcement.
Curt Hawkins is in the ring to call out Dean Ambrose for attacking him before their match last week. Ambrose comes out and sends Hawkins packing before saying he wanted to call out Baron Corbin. Baron pops up on screen to say Ambrose should enjoy what he has while he has it. Whenever Corbin wants to, he’s taking what Dean values most. Ambrose heads to the back but stops to give Hawkins Dirty Deeds on the floor.
Women’s History Month video on Trish Stratus and Lita.
Post break, Ambrose is looking for Corbin.
Mojo Rawley, in a suit, says he wants his Wrestlemania moment. Therefore, he’s announcing his entrance into the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and says Mojo has to earn that kind of a moment. Mojo: “Is that why you don’t have one?”
Dean is still looking for Corbin when Baron jumps him with a pipe to the knee and another shot to the chest. Corbin: “You found me!” Dean: “All right. Good talk!” Corbin kicks him again for saying something that stupid. Baron finds a forklift and lowers the lift onto Dean’s chest. Every the geniuses, the referees try to lift it off of him until one of them wakes up and presses the UP button.
Here are Alexa Bliss and Mickie James for a chat. Bliss is here to announce her opponent for Wrestlemania but first, let’s talk about who it won’t be. It’s not going to be Naomi because she’s off feeling the ow. It won’t be Nikki Bella, who is in the trainers’ room being nursed back to help by her square jawed superman. It won’t be Carmella with her weird chin. It won’t be Chuckie, who you all know as Becky Lynch.
Bliss has gotten rid of her over and over and she just keeps coming back (I hear Rick Steiner has experience in that area.). Cue Becky to says he has a Beclaration (Becky: “You don’t have to call it that. I’ve done better.”) to say she’s taking the title back at Wrestlemania.
This brings out Natalya to tell Beaker to step aside. Natalya thinks Becky is out of her and Alexa’s league but Alexa thinks Natalya has been getting into the catnip. See, Natalya is the worst there is, the worst there was and the worst there ever will be. Mickie grabs the mic and says Becky and Natalya are ruining this moment.
Of course it’s going to be Mickie getting the title shot but Alexa doesn’t seem to agree. Becky points out that she beat Mickie twice last week. Alexa: “See….what had happened was…”. Natalya calls Mickie ugly and here’s Daniel Bryan to break it up. He and Shane heard Alexa call herself the greatest woman on the Smackdown roster and there’s only one way to find out if that’s true. Therefore, it’s going to be Alexa defending against the entire division at Wrestlemania. As for tonight, let’s have a holla holla (Daniel’s words) tag match.
Natalya/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James
Joined in progress with Bliss shoving Natalya and getting slapped in the face for her efforts. Natalya does her stepover into the basement dropkick (clearly missed) for two and it’s off to Becky via a somewhat forceful tag. Mickie comes in as well and takes a few dropkicks, followed by a Becky nip-up. It’s back to Bliss who throws Becky down by the hair for two as JBL wants to know what kind of a match Bliss will be defending her title in (it was never specified).
A quick trip to the floor goes badly for Lynch and we take a break. Back with Lynch still getting double teamed and James grabbing a chinlock. Becky finally throws Alexa away but she opts to clothesline Mickie instead of tagging out. Natalya doesn’t care for this and comes in with a German suplex on her partner (the fans seem surprised that a heel would do a heelish thing) before walking out. Bliss tags herself in and steals the pin at 12:45.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the angle advancement at the end was fine. The title match is going to be a huge mess but you have to expect that at a Wrestlemania. I’d much rather it be Becky vs. Bliss for the title, though that doesn’t exactly benefit the rest of the division on a very, very packed show.
Mickie kicks Bliss in the head post match.
We look back at the forklift incident. Ambrose has been taken to a medical facility with possibly broken ribs.
Austin Aries wants us to watch 205 Live.
AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton
The winner faces Bray Wyatt for the title at Wrestlemania. Before the match, AJ says he should be the champ again because he made the B show into the A show. Then you have Randy Orton who burned a man’s house down and is getting praised for it. No one is keeping him from being in the main event on the grandest stage of them all and making Wrestlemania phenomenal.
Orton tries the RKO in a hurry but AJ bails out to the floor. Back in and AJ grabs a chinlock before Orton sends him hard into the corner. Styles starts kicking at the knee and Orton falls out to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ staying on the leg and grabbing a chinlock. Orton pops back up with a full nelson slam for one but gets caught in the Hoshi Geroshi for two.
The Calf Crusher goes on but Orton slowly crawls over to the ropes. Orton comes right back with the hanging DDT but AJ gets sent outside. That looks to set up the springboard 450 so Orton coils, only to have AJ springboard up but drop right back down to the apron in a good fakeout. The springboard 450 misses though and a pop up RKO sends Orton to the title match at 18:45.
Rating: B-. This was a bit more slow paced than you would expect but Orton winning was the most obvious ending since….well since Cena and Ellsworth were in the same match earlier tonight. Orton vs. Wyatt is the logical move and I’m sure we’re going to be seeing Styles vs. Shane (as in the guy who thought AJ should get the spot in the first place). I loved that fakeout spot though as it shows someone thinking in a match, which you just don’t see enough anymore.
Overall Rating: C+. Here’s a great example of a show that wasn’t about the wrestling. Tonight was about pushing stories forward towards Wrestlemania and building interest in them. I had a good time with the show and multiple matches were advanced. There’s a good feeling when Wrestlemania season is upon us and I’m getting fired up for the show. This was a good night and I had fun getting ready for Wrestlemania.
Results
Nikki Bella/John Cena b. Carmella/James Ellsworth – Double STF’s
Alexa Bliss/Mickie James b. Natalya/Becky Lynch – Bliss pinned Lynch after a German suplex from Natalya
Randy Orton b. AJ Styles – RKO
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – October 3, 2002: This is the Good Half
Smackdown Date: October 3, 2002 Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
I don’t know what lit the fire underneath Smackdown as of late but they’ve been on fire. Last week was one of the best episodes of TV I’ve ever seen and while there’s a good chance things will go downhill tonight, at least things are on a roll coming in. We’ve got about three weeks before No Mercy and it should be time to announce a Smackdown match or two. Let’s get to it.
Stephanie McMahon does the seizure inducing intro to talk about tonight’s card, including Edge vs. Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker in a falls count anywhere match and the start of a tournament for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles with the finals at No Mercy. This is your first (of many) ways to put Stephanie on screen and remind us that she’s just so darn cool.
Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rikishi/Mark Henry vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero
The cousins try to get in a sneak attack to start but the big guys throw Chavo onto Eddie. That goes nowhere though as it’s basically a high crossbody, meaning Eddie pops back up and hammers on Rikishi. Cole: “You’ve got to take your hat off to Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon!”
Eddie comes in and walks into a Samoan drop, followed by a superkick to Chavo. It’s time to start in on Mark’s knee with both Guerreros taking a few shots, only to have Mark keep kicking them away. Rikishi comes in and is immediately forced out by the referee, allowing Chavo to hit Henry in the knee with a chair. Eddie slaps on a leglock for the tap out.
Rating: C-. You can see the greatness in Eddie and Chavo as a team and the monsters were a fine choice for some monsters they needed to cheat. This was a good way to get around one of the nothing teams and advance the talented guys, which is exactly how this should have gone. When you get the right opponents, there’s going to be a classic for the Guerreros somewhere in this tournament.
Torrie Wilson arrives….with her dad Al. Oh geez it’s this mess. They run into Billy and Chuck when Dawn Marie comes in and hits on Al.
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are watching a clip of Lesnar attacking Undertaker when Heyman says Stephanie has made a rematch at No Mercy. The thing is she won’t tell him the stipulation and Heyman is worried. Lesnar laughs it off when Matt Hardy comes in to say it won’t be falls count anywhere.
Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker
Falls count anywhere. Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start and takes it outside to throw Matt into various things. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam through the table but Undertaker shoves him into the barricade for a breather. More right hands send Matt through the crowd and Undertaker gets a soda thrown in his face. They head to the back with Matt getting in a cheap shot so Undertaker rams him into a wall. Matt runs off while shouting that they’ll meet again and here’s Lesnar to jump Undertaker. An F5 sends Undertaker onto what looks like popcorn (seriously) to give Matt the easy pin.
Rating: F. Unless I’m missing something, Undertaker took a total of some right hands, a low blow, forearms from Lesnar and an F5 onto a glorified stack of pillows. That’s enough for him to do a job for Matt Hardy but the fight he and Lesnar had wasn’t enough to do a job to Brock on pay per view? Horrible stuff here as Hardy got squashed until the stupid ending.
Post match Lesnar crushes Undertaker’s hand with a propane tank.
Survivor Series ad.
Undertaker’s hand is being iced and he walks away from an interview attempt. The trainer thinks the hand is broken.
Cruiserweight Title: Crash vs. Jamie Noble
Jamie is defending and they start with a fight over a wristlock. The announcers are of course more interested in talking about Undertaker’s hand injury, which isn’t all that surprising given how worthless the title has become in the last few months. Noble takes him into the corner before cranking on a camel clutch. Crash fights up with some basic stuff, including an O’Connor roll to knock Nidia off the apron. The Crash Landing (Styles Clash) is countered into a rollup and Noble grabs the rope to retain.
Rating: C-. Crash made this better with a nice comeback but unfortunately the fans really didn’t care. Like I said though, the division is just nothing at this point and there’s no reason to care about Jamie Noble vs. Crash in a four minute match serving as a backdrop for all the Undertaker vs. Lesnar talk. That switch from Raw really did wonders for Crash’s career though.
Kurt Angle brags about how awesome he is and thinks Chris Benoit will lose to Rey Mysterio tonight. Angle says he’s awesome when Edge comes in and makes bald jokes but at least ties it back to their hair vs. hair match. A sucker punch puts Edge down.
Edge vs. Kurt Angle
We get a replay of the sucker punch from five minutes ago during Kurt’s entrance. Angle takes him down by the arm to start and kicks Edge off the leg without much effort. Back up and Edge goes after an arm as well, this time with a hammerlock, both standing and laying down. See that’s versatility. Angle finally gets tired of the beating and hammers away in the corner, only to have Edge reverse into the same.
They head outside with Angle’s arm going into the post as Edge is in a lot more control than you would expect. Back in and Edge is thrown over the top for a big crash to the floor. A drop onto the barricade makes things even worse and an overhead belly to belly gives Kurt two. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit before Angle knees him in the banged up ribs.
Since Angle is smarter than the average wrestler, he grabs an abdominal stretch to keep Edge in trouble. Edge fights up and hits an overhead belly to belly (good one too) to set up some clotheslines. The half nelson faceplant gets two but the spear hits the referee. The Edgecution should get the finish but there’s no count. Therefore, the Angle Slam connects as well, only to have another referee come in for the two.
The ankle lock sends Edge bailing to the ropes and he goes up top, only to have Angle superplex him down. They interlock their legs into a small package though and it’s a double pin. Naturally the referees disagree (with Mike Chioda nailing Mike Sparks) to send us to a break and a restart. Cole: “Don’t adjust your sets! This match has been restarted!” Does Cole think that adjusting the sharpness is going to rewind a video or something? Angle misses a charge and flies out to the floor, leaving Edge to dive off the top for a big crash.
Back in and a missile dropkick gets two on Kurt as the crowd is losing their minds on these near falls. A very hard German suplex drops Edge and Angle rolls some more for good measure. Cue Chris Benoit for a distraction, allowing Edge to cradle Angle for two. That would have been the finish in today’s WWE. The ankle lock is easily broken up and Angle grabs a chair. Benoit offers a distraction though, causing the chair shot to hit the top rope and bounce back into Kurt’s head. The spear gives Edge the pin.
Rating: A-. This was one less referee fight and false finish away from being a classic. As it is, this was just another great match to be added to the recent string of them on this show. Edge is getting hotter and hotter every single week and thankfully seems to be getting somewhere as a result. I love it when you see someone work hard and get rewarded for it, which is far rarer than it should be.
Benoit thinks it’s hilarious.
Rey Mysterio video.
Post break Angle goes into the locker room to go after Benoit but Stephanie is RIGHT THERE to break it up and put them together as partners in the tournament. If they fight while they’re partners, they’re suspended without pay for a year. Angle sucker punches Benoit (that’s two tonight) but Stephanie SCREECHES at them to shake hands right now. Lesnar gives Heyman another pep talk when Matt Hardy interrupts. Since Undertaker is injured and Matt just beat him, he should probably be #1 contender. Makes sense actually. Matt leaves and Heyman whispers to Lesnar: “I’d be careful. He could kill you.” Laughter ensues.
Raw Roulette is coming. That has way less potential than they’re building it up to have here, though to be fair that’s kind of the point.
Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy and Chuck vs. Faarooq/Reverend D-Von
Billy asks Faarooq if he’s actually associating with D-Von and gets mic’d in the head for his efforts. Chuck gets jumped from behind but manages a butterfly suplex on D-Von. Faarooq beats him down again though until Chuck gets in a shot and makes the hot tag to Gunn. Everything breaks down and Faarooq gets in a spinebuster on Billy to give D-Von the upset pin.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here and that’s not really surprising. I’m not sure why you have Billy and Chuck lose here as I can’t imagine anyone is thinking much of D-Von and Faarooq. You’re trying to establish some new titles and it might help to have a multiple time Tag Team Championship combination in the later rounds.
Dawn shows Al her bikini.
It’s time for the bikini contest and let’s see how fast we can get this over with: Dawn looks great but Torrie looks better and has a sucker so she wins. Dawn offers a handshake and throws Torrie outside.
Stephanie gets to tell Heyman and Lesnar that Undertaker’s hand is broken. Undertaker is insisting to fight at No Mercy though and it’s going to be Hell in a Cell. That’s quite a speedy trip to the hospital (when you remember Undertaker refused treatment), x-ray, diagnosis, phone call to Stephanie and decision since Undertaker got hurt all of an hour and fifteen minutes ago. Heyman looks nervous but Brock looks eerily pleased.
Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio
Benoit wastes no time and sends Mysterio into the corner, followed by what looks to be a Razor’s Edge attempt, only to have Rey reverse into a hurricanrana. Chris is sent outside for a big flip dive but comes right back with those hard suplexes that only he can throw. A cross arm choke keeps Rey down until a sunset flip gives him two. Back up and Benoit sends him into the corner over and over before grabbing a surfboard hold.
Rey fights up and slips out of a dragon suplex, only to get caught in a wicked wheelbarrow suplex instead. A dropkick gives Rey a breather and a springboard split legged moonsault gives him a near fall. The 619 is countered into a shoulder breaker though and the Swan Dive gives Benoit two more. Rey is quickly out of the Crossface and a springboard Fameasser sets up the 619. Cue Angle to snap Benoit’s throat across the top so Rey can grab a hurricanrana for the pin.
Rating: B. Were you really expecting this to be anything but solid? Smackdown has figured out the secret to an exciting in-ring product: stop trying to do anything too complicated and just let us have a fun match with some minor angle advancement. You can see these two plus Angle and someone else (probably Edge) in the tournament and that’s going to be awesome. Talented wrestlers can do something like this when given the chance and that’s what we got here.
Benoit Crossfaces Angle until security breaks it up to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. What does it say when this is one heck of a downgrade over the previous week? Those two matches more than made up for the horrible Undertaker stuff and the fact that it’s setting up a Cell match does make things a little easier to sit through. I’m having a blast watching these shows every week and it’s amazing that Raw is such a polar opposite from this. How can one company be so totally different? Either way, great stuff here, again.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here: