Smackdown
Date: February 20, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and the big draw this week is Hulk Hogan and the Rock being in the same building. I know it’s a battle of the generations but I’m not quite sure they’re going to have the same magic they had a year ago. Other than that, Kurt Angle has agreed to face Brock Lesnar. I’m sure he’s an honest man so let’s get to it.

There are two gift boxes on stage for Undertaker this time but here’s Rock, looking full on heel, to open things up. Cole acknowledges the mixed reaction and Rock certainly seems to notice it as well. Rock loads up FINALLY but has to do it three times before saying it doesn’t matter. He knows there are some fans booing and some that prefer Hogan but it doesn’t matter because he’s still the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today. Point to Rock on that one.

Rock gets back on track but hang on because his phone is ringing. It’s his personal assistant and he not so politely requests some silence. Rock is going to fly out tonight because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by all these hick. He means hickory trees of course and the Rocky chants start up again. Rock has one question: do you really want to boo the Rock? That’s crossing a line and the people need to understand what that could mean.

They keep booing so Rock promises a different Rock at No Way Out. Rock knows Hogan’s not here yet (Rock: “Late as usual.”) but tonight he’s going to show up again and tell Hogan what’s coming for him on Sunday. IF YA SMELL…….hang on a second. If you people want to boo the Rock, SING-A-LONG WITH THE ROCK IS NO LONGER AN OPTION! Rock: “What are you a bunch of sheep? Have some self respect!”

This was one of the best heel promos you’ll ever see as Rock completely directed the crowd exactly where he wanted them to go. When you have a star like the Rock, who is one of the most popular wrestlers of all time, it takes some incredible talent to make the crowd boo him with so much ease. The key thing for me was how Rock was clearly showing them where to go but still looked like he was smiling all the way instead of beating them over your head with his heel stuff as so many would. Check this out and see how to be a great heel.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

Benoit is clearly favoring his arm coming in. A-Train throws him around to start and even hits a Muscle Buster. The Trainwreck is countered into a Crossface but A-Train slips out without too much effort. That’s fine with Benoit, who grabs a rollup for the pin in short order, likely due to the bad arm.

Hogan arrives.

Funaki can’t get in to interview Rock due to personal security.

Johnny Stamboli vs. Rikishi

Rikishi hammers him in the back to start as the rest of the FBI leaves. That’s fine with Johnny who GORILLA PRESSES Rikishi (ignore the shaking knees) in the spot that should have gotten him on quite a few highlight reels. Johnny fires off some shoulders in the corner but it’s a Samoan drop and the superkick to give Rikishi the pin in less than two minutes.

And that’s why that gorilla press isn’t ever talked about among impressive feats of strength: because a guy having his first match as part of a new stable had to job to Rikishi clean in less than two minutes because RIKISHI is more valuable than someone who can gorilla press him. I’ve gone on about how ridiculous Rikishi’s status is for months now and it just keeps going for whatever reason. I’m sure Stamboli will be just fine and the whole team, which is a stupid idea in the first place, will be completely successful.

The FBI beats Rikishi down post match. I care so much after seeing Stamboli destroyed in short order.

Angle is warming up with Shelton Benjamin and promises to lead by example tonight.

And now, for one of my favorite moments from this era.

We go to Los Guerreros in Beverly Hills. Chavo: “Didn’t we steal a car over there once?” They hit on a mom walking her baby in a stroller (and of course there’s a camera where the baby would be). The baby is named Emily, which Eddie says mean Light of God. Eddie and Chavo talk about how cute the baby is before sending the woman on her way. The baby is ugly but more importantly they stole the woman’s wallet and watch. This one is a little rough but these would get REALLY good in a hurry.

Shannon Moore/Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Warmup before Matt, who is miserable when dieting and finds Shannon very hard to teach, gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. We even see the weigh-in from earlier today where Matt stripped to make weight. Shannon spinwheel kicks Rey for two to start but Kidman comes in to drop Rey into a legdrop for the same.

It’s off to the now svelte Hardy to slam Kidman and drop an elbow for two. A front facelock doesn’t last long as Kidman pops up and makes the hot tag off to Mysterio. Matt powerbombs him for two and it’s right back to Kidman for a missile dropkick. Shannon makes the save with a top rope legdrop to give Matt two, only to be sent outside. Rey gets backdropped onto Rey, leaving Matt to Twist of Fate Kidman for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and it accomplished its goal but there was something missing to keep it from getting to the next level. Matt needs to be champion almost immediately as Kidman hasn’t done anything with the title (not his fault as that’s what’s going to happen in a division with no stories and almost no interesting characters) since he won it months ago.

Earlier this week, Cole sat down with Nathan Jones, who has paid his dues and done his time so he’s ready to start in WWE. He wants to be WWE Champion but first (with his head shaking) he has business with the biggest dog in the yard. Jones grabs Cole’s throat and says it’s tick or tock. Tick means they’re alive but tock means they’re dead, even if they have all the time in the world.

The gifts are placed in the ring so it’s Undertaker time. Undertaker, looking annoyed at this thing continuing, opens the smaller box (which is nearly as tall as he is) and finds…..a dog. He beats the other one open and finds…..nothing, only to have Big Show come in from behind to attack. Undertaker eats a chokeslam to end the quick beatdown.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Paddle on a pole. We hit the token wrestling to start as the announcers again speculate on which Diva will be in Playboy. Torrie takes over but has to drop Jamie Noble, only to have Dawn Marie come out for a distraction. Noble powerslams Torrie and Nidia pulls the paddle down to win.

Torrie gets spanked a few times until Funaki makes the save.

Hogan goes looking for Rock but the security won’t let him in Rock’s locker room.

Here’s Hogan in the arena for a chat but Rock comes out for the staredown before he can say anything. Rock has to get some water first but then he’s ready for an apology. From Hogan that is because there have been a lot of rude and disrespectful things in recent weeks. The ROCKY SUCKS chants come back from the dead as Rock brings up the Rock-a-Jabroni line.

Based on that, Hogan needs to know his role and….and shut his mouth. A year ago, Hogan was nothing until Rock turned him into something again. Hulk refuses to apologize and thanks the fans for being there for him. Rock brings up Wrestlemania, which Hogan probably doesn’t remember after the beating Rock gave him. He tries to do the MILLIONS line but receives near silence for his efforts.

Rock does Hogan’s catchphrase but cuts him off before the shirt can be torn. A handshake is offered but Rock spits at Hogan and bails. More great stuff from Rock here with one important note: Rock kept walking around in circles instead of standing still like he would at the top of his powers. It made him seem more nervous because he didn’t have the people behind him, which is the kind of thing that most people aren’t going to add in.

No Way Out rundown.

Video on the end of last week’s show with Lesnar beating up John Cena to get to Kurt Angle.

Cena raps a threat to Lesnar and declares war on him.

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Oh of course not. Angle says there’s a stipulation to this so we’ll make it a gauntlet match instead.

Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle

Lesnar throws Haas around to start before getting caught in a release German suplex. There’s almost no effect though as Lesnar tosses him a few more times before hitting the backbreaker into the F5 for a quick pin. Little more than a squash. Angle fires up Shelton for the second match as we take a break.

We’re joined in progress with Brock sending Shelton flying off a butterfly suplex. Another suplex has Angle hyperventilating but Shelton gets in a few kicks to the face to take over. It’s off to the arm with a flying armbar and then a cross armbreaker. Brock reverses into a powerbomb for the break as Angle is biting his fingernails.

We hit the belly to belly suplexes and Kurt’s distraction completely fails. A spinning belly to back suplex (called an Angle Slam) finishes Shelton and it’s time for Kurt to panic. Heyman’s pep talk gets Kurt inside for the bell, followed almost immediately by Heyman hitting Brock with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was an angle disguised as a match and there’s nothing wrong with that, bait and switch left aside. The ending helps set up Angle vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania, but we’ve still got a six man tag on Sunday and this didn’t do much for that match. The other problem is the crowd, who won’t be happy no matter what happens because it’s not the match they were expecting. WWE is doing that far too often anymore and it’s very frustrating.

Angle saves Heyman from an F5 and it’s Team Angle with the big beatdown. Edge and Benoit make the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Rock helps a lot but that’s all this show had going for it. So much of this show was spent on short segments and matches that add nothing to the show, but even worse do nothing for the pay per view. The ending with Edge and Benoit felt very tacked on as well and that’s not a good thing for a go home show. Not a good episode, though Rock’s stuff is worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2017
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Battleground and Jinder Mahal has brought the Punjabi Prison with him to Smackdown. My guess would be to get people interested in what the match is going to look like if they haven’t been around for more than ten years, which is about as good of an idea as they could have for this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the Punjabi Prison, even though it doesn’t have a ton of history.

Here’s Mahal to enter the Punjabi Prison, which is still fairly ridiculous looking. Mahal promises to bring Orton inside here and destroy his legacy. Oh come on that stable was destroyed years ago. The Singh Brothers explain the rules: there’s a regular cage (made of bamboo that is) with four trap doors. A wrestler can ask to open the door for sixty seconds but once it closes, it can’t be opened again. Then there’s another bamboo cage around the ring which has to be climbed over. The first person out of both structures wins.

Mahal speaks some Punjab but here’s Orton to interrupt. Orton talks about how crazy Mahal is to want to lock himself inside a cage with him and starts to climb the cage. He stops though and just promises to destroy Mahal to wrap things up without going in to fight all three at once.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jimmy Uso

Kofi starts fast and takes Jimmy down before annoying him with some dancing. A good looking flip dive to the floor drops Jimmy again and we take a break. Back with Kofi making a comeback with chops and kicks, only to have Trouble in Paradise countered into a Death Valley Driver into the corner for a close two. Kofi shoves him off the top but has to yell at Jey, allowing Jimmy to roll through a high crossbody for the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C-. The clip in the middle hurt this a lot as we went from one person in trouble and flipped it around during the commercial. Kofi losing is interesting and could suggest the Usos losing the titles on Sunday. New Day doesn’t need them but they’re instantly going to make the titles more interesting than the Usos have.

The women’s division wants to beat Lana up but Tamina cuts them off. Natalya suggests Becky vs. Charlotte, the latter of whom says that wouldn’t be competitive. Shane McMahon makes the match.

We recap last night’s announcement that Jason Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son. I don’t mind it as much as some people do but they need to walk a very thin line on this one.

Chad Gable sits down with Renee Young for an interview and still looks stunned. He didn’t have any heads up on this but Jordan did call him to talk about things later. Gable has some ideas for his future but he’s keeping them to himself for now.

Mike Kanellis vs. Sami Zayn

This is Mike’s in-ring debut. Sami hammers away to start and sends Mike outside for a running clothesline. Mike is sent into the barricade as this is one sided so far. The exploder looks to set up the Helluva Kick but Maria comes in for the distraction. Mike blasts him in the face and hits a Samoan driver for the pin at 2:59.

Here’s John Cena to talk about the flag match with both the American and Bulgarian flags hanging over the corners. Cena runs down Sunday’s card before moving on to the flag match, where you have to get your flag from a pole and plant it at the finish line. He promises we’re going to remember the flag match more than anything else.

Cena gets all fired up and promises that he’s ready because the USA is a nation of fighters. He lists off some important moments in American history, including the Civil War, World War II and 9/11 before waving the flag. Cue Rusev to beat Cena down and knock him out with the Accolade before waving the Bulgarian flag. This was WAY too serious and way too well done of a promo to waste it on a flag match against Rusev.

Shinsuke Nakamura comes up to AJ Styles but doesn’t want to talk strategy for tonight’s main event. Instead he’d rather point at the US Title and say one day, he’s answering the Open Challenge. I’d really hope that’s at a major pay per view.

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Natalya is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte powering her down and grabbing a headlock. Becky comes back with a one footed dropkick but Charlotte backflips away twice. The threat of the Disarm-Her sends Charlotte outside and we take an early break.

Back with Becky throwing her back inside but Charlotte forearms her down to take over. A knee to the back of the head gets two on Becky, who escapes the Figure Four. Becky springboards into a forearm to Charlotte’s chest and there’s the Bexploder. The Disarm-Her is countered with a big boot for two but the moonsault misses, allowing the Disarm-Her to make Charlotte tap at 9:00.

Rating: C+. It’s very clear that these two are miles ahead of the rest of the division but worry not because there’s always the chance that Nikki Bella can come back and show them how to work. Becky winning is a good idea as she hasn’t had a big win in a long time and a clean win over Charlotte is quite the accomplishment.

Post match Lana and Tamina come out to clean house. Tamina stares at Lana for a bit (Who can blame her?).

WWE Network shill.

Naomi is ready to face anyone but Carmella comes up with the briefcase and says she’ll see Naomi on Sunday.

It’s time for the Fashion X-Files with Breeze as Skully, complete with a red wig. Breeze doesn’t buy the idea of the paranormal but there’s a ghostly moaning. Never mind though as it’s just Aiden English warming up. A white light comes down from the ceiling with Breeze saying he wants to meet Alf, Max Moon and Chewbacca. It turns out to be a delivery guy who turned the lights on so they could sign for a package. Breeze won’t answer what’s in the box because it’s Tully’s (Fandango’s stick horse) head. There’s a note saying Battleground, where things will be concluded.

Shinsuke Nakamura/AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin

Corbin jumps Nakamura in the aisle and Owens joins in until AJ FINALLY comes up to help. We hit the break before a bell and are joined in progress with AJ in trouble thanks to a hard forearm from Corbin. AJ gets over for the hot tag to Nakamura, who immediately goes to Good Vibrations on Owens.

Corbin low bridges Nakamura to the floor though and Owens stomps away in the corner to take over. Baron grabs a bearhug for a bit before sliding under the bottom rope, only to have Nakamura waiting on him for a change. The double knockdown isn’t enough for the hot tag to AJ as Corbin is up first (makes sense for a change) to knocks Styles off the apron. Nakamura comes back with the rapid strikes, including a kick to Owens before he can interfere.

Deep Six gives Corbin two but the enziguri is enough to make the hot tag off to Styles. More rapid strikes have Owens in trouble but he takes AJ’s head off with a clothesline. Corbin comes in and is caught in a fast Calf Crusher, sending him scurrying to the ropes. Nakamura is sent into the timekeeper’s area, leaving AJ to have to escape End of Days. Owens makes a blind tag though and it’s a superkick into the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 9:53.

Rating: B. They were working out there and it was a hot match as a result. All four were moving and hitting their stuff to give us a good match to wrap up the show. At least it was a tag match where Styles took the pin, though I can’t imagine them putting the title back on Owens so soon.

Overall Rating: B-. Good show this week to build up to another B level pay per view. There’s only so much you’re going to get out of this Sunday so a strong go home show is always a nice surprise. Cena vs. Rusev feels like a highly glorified warmup for Cena before whatever he’s doing at Summerslam but other than that, I’m interested in almost everything else they’re doing, at least to a degree.

Results

Jimmy Uso b. Kofi Kingston – Reversed high crossbody

Mike Kanellis b. Sami Zayn – Samoa driver

Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Disarm-Her

Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura – Pop Up Powerbomb to Styles

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: February 13, 2003
Location: Centennial Garden, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than two weeks away from No Way Out and you can see most of the card from here. The big story coming out of last week is Team Angle, now with a title for each, seemingly getting ready to face Edge/Chris Benoit/Brock Lesnar. Other than that there’s always Rock vs. Hulk Hogan so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s another crate addressed to Undertaker.

Charlie Haas vs. Edge

Haas has Paul Heyman with him. Edge takes him down into an armbar to start so Charlie hammers away in the corner as they’re doing the opposite of what you would probably expect. Something close to an exploder suplex gives Charlie two, followed by a northern lights suplex for the same.

A double arm crank keeps Edge in trouble for a bit before he pops up with his own suplex to drop Charlie. An enziguri stuns Charlie again and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge gets creative with something like a DDT fisherman’s suplex (basically a fisherman’s suplex without wrapping Haas’ arm around his neck first) for two but Heyman gets on the apron. The spear drops him but Charlie grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. The ending hurt it a good bit but they’re doing a great job of building up Team Angle. They win more often than not and it keeps them from looking weak. Today, a team like them would probably be jobbing every other week in singles matches while WWE blamed them for their horrible work or something like that.

Nathan Jones will be on Smackdown. Not for long that is but he’ll be here.

Angle is in Stephanie’s office when she comes in. After complimenting her new hair, Angle hands her a rose in a fairly random bit of niceness. He actually goes to kiss her when Brock Lesnar comes in. The staredown ensues so Stephanie announces the six man tag for No Way Out. Angle takes the rose back.

Rikishi vs. Nunzio

Rematch from last week when Nunzio threatened mob connections. Nunzio dives at him before the bell but here are Chuck Palumbo and Johnny the Bull to beat Rikishi down. No match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who always gets more Valentine’s Day cards than his brother, doesn’t send flowers and only gets chocolates, is down from 230lbs to 222lbs, putting him near the cruiserweight limit of 220. Matt is wrestling in a rubber suit to burn more weight in a creative idea. The extra gear seems to mess with him a bit though as he can’t keep up with Rey and gets taken out of the corner with an ankle scissors. A missed charge sends Rey outside though and Shannon Moore gets in a few stomps of his own.

Matt gets two off a gutwrench suplex as Cole suggests Tazz get in one of those rubber suits. Tazz: “Nah Cole I just take a bunch of Stacker II (sponsor at the time)”. A surfboard with Matt’s boot between Rey’s shoulders doesn’t get him very far so it’s off to a torture rack for a bit better result.

Matt seems to be getting winded though and it’s a spring seated senton for no cover. Rey gets two off a springboard split legged moonsault but dives into a Side Effect for the same. Matt is almost completely gassed though and falls to his knees, right into 619 position. The West Coast Pop puts Matt away.

Rating: C+. I like this idea and it gives Matt something to do, which is more than he’s had going on in a long time. If nothing else he’s still good with the comedy and this is a good way for him to showcase those skills. That being said, his Cruiserweight Title shot (providing he loses the weight) has already been announced so he shouldn’t be losing here.

Matt, dripping with sweat, promises to win the title at No Way Out.

We look back at Brian Kendrick’s time in WWE to date.

Kendrick is complaining about his bad luck to Sean O’Haire when Bill DeMott comes up. DeMott doesn’t want to hear about it and beats Kendrick up until O’Haire gets in Bill’s face for the save.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

A-Train tries to take Benoit into the corner to intimidate him. Why he thinks this would work isn’t clear and he has to get to the ropes to avoid the Crossface. A-Train slams him down on the ribs and drops an elbow for good measure. A modified Gory Stretch (with a reverse full nelson instead of pulling on the chin) sets up a modified Widow’s Peak. A-Train gets two off a Vader Bomb but Benoit slips out of the torture rack. Some good looking German suplexes (Benoit got him WAY up) have A-Train reeling but the Swan Dive misses. The bicycle kick gets two and it’s time for the Derailer, only to have Benoit reverse into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C. They were beating the heck out of each other here but Benoit was the right choice to carry things as A-Train did all of his power offense. This also helps Benoit going into the pay per view as he’s beating people he should beat. A-Train’s push continues to be all over the place but at least he’s not beating people he shouldn’t be.

The Girls Gone Wild boss comes up to Torrie Wilson to offer her a spot on his pay per view special. Torrie agrees, promising to get very wild.

We recap Big Show attacking Undertaker four months ago.

Heyman is in the ring with the crate and hopes Undertaker won’t destroy this present like he did to the man of love last week. Cue Undertaker with Heyman immediately looking nervous. Heyman leaves in a hurry and it’s…..Kanyon in the box. For some reason he’s dressed as Boy George and belts out a little Culture Club. Kanyon: “WHO BETTER THAN KANYON???” Tazz: “That guy looks familiar!” Kanyon gets in some offense but the beatdown is on in a hurry. Undertaker beats on him with a chair as Heyman begs for mercy.

Matt is wearing himself out on an exercise bike to lose more weight.

Funaki is with John Cena and tries to look like a rapper. Cena schools him a bit.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Joined in progress with Eddie getting out of a top wristlock and snapmaring him to the mat. Back up and a powerslam gives Shelton two, followed by an electric chair for the same. They’re certainly working the amateur stuff here, which is easily the best idea for both of them at this point. Shelton grabs a chinlock for a bit, followed by a very high backdrop for two. A belly to belly gives Eddie two in some of his first significant offense. They head to the corner with Eddie getting in a sunset bomb but missing the frog splash. Shelton is right back up with the Dragon Whip for the clean pin.

Rating: B. That’s quite the performance from someone who has such little main roster experience. Eddie helped a lot of course and it was very nice to see Shelton get in a ton of offense like this. It’s not like Eddie is going to lose anything from this match while Shelton gets a big rub. Good stuff.

LONG video on Rock vs. Hogan, recapping their feud from last year and show of respect after the showdown at Wrestlemania. Now they’re fighting again because Hogan is feuding with Vince, who brought Rock back for the match. In other words, the Rock is now just a soldier in Vince’s army against Hogan, who he’s fighting with because…..I have no idea. This is missing from the WWE Network for some reason.

Hugh Hefner tells us that a WWE Diva will be in Playboy soon.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Bra and panties match with a bunch of Valentine’s Day stuff in the ring. During the entrances, Tazz thinks it’s going to be Stephanie in Playboy. That might not be the best idea in 2003. Dawn, who is wrestling in a sports bra in the first place, jumps her from behind and takes the shirt off to choke away. Torrie dropkicks her to the floor and gets Dawn’s top off, revealing a smaller bra. Dawn’s pants come halfway down before they try some rollups for the sake of camera shots.

Rating: D-. I can’t call them failures based on how they looked but sweet goodness these things do not hold up well. If nothing else it feels out of place when you have Team Angle and Eddie Guerrero on the show, making this quite the downgrade. They’re embarrassing as a wrestling fan and, given that Torrie would be in Playboy in a few months, would become even more obsolete in a hurry.

Nidia runs in post match but Torrie beats both heels down, gets Nidia’s pants off and spanks her a bit.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Brock leaves a chair out for Angle in case he’d like to come to ringside. Cena’s rap isn’t his best work as he calls Lesnar muscular and stupid. Brock beats him down in a hurry and gets in a hard backbreaker. The belly to belly suplex sends Cena out to the floor and Lesnar does it again for good measure. Brock rips off a turnbuckle pad for no apparent reason and Cena blasts him with the chain for two.

Cena grabs a rear naked choke of all things and even holds on despite being rammed hard into the buckle. Since that doesn’t work, Brock picks him up and rams him into two buckles for the break instead. Brock unloads with shoulders to the ribs in the corner and the third belly to belly (so it happened back then too). The F5 is enough for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two have always had a chemistry together and they’re always entertaining to watch as a result. Lesnar was way ahead of Cena at this point but you could see the potential in Cena starting to come out. The match was competitive and Cena got to show off a bit, which he needs at this point.

Post match Lesnar calls Angle out because he wants to do this right now. With Kurt not coming, Lesnar F5’s Cena into the post. We cut to Kurt in the back, eventually getting sick of this and coming out to the arena. Post break and here’s the champ to say they’ll give the fans the best match ever. Angle gets in Brock’s face but says not tonight. Bakersfield doesn’t deserve it and he has a sinus infection. Angle is willing to do it next week so Brock agrees before taking Angle down with a clothesline. Brock loads up the F5 into the post but has to deal with Team Angle. Lesnar stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a solid wrestling show for the most part, assuming you ignore the women’s stuff. No Way Out is looking hit or miss from the Smackdown side but at least we have the good TV leading up. I’m sure the fact that Hogan wasn’t on the show had nothing to do with the quality going up either. That match is really starting to stick out as a bad idea, though Scott Steiner vs. HHH will make sure it’s not the worst thing on the pay per view. It’s a good Smackdown this week though and that’s always welcome.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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First off, Happy Anniversary Becca.  Thanks for the first two of many.

Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2017
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less than two weeks away from Battleground and we don’t know much about the card yet. The big story so far is the Punjabi Prison match with Smackdown World Champion Jinder Mahal defending against Randy Orton, but Orton is off filming a movie. With that feud temporarily on the shelf, we’ll look at AJ Styles, who won the US Title over the weekend in a big surprise. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at last week’s battle royal with AJ winning a shot at Kevin Owens and the US Title. Styles then won the title at Madison Square Garden at a house show over the weekend.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ to open things up, saying his face is an upgrade for the Face of America. Styles talks about the Open Challenge that Owens used to issue and thinks he should have one of his own. The Challenge is on and……here’s John Cena. John wants the shot right now and AJ is more than game. We hit the Big Match Intros but cue Owens to interrupt before the bell.

Owens says no one wants Cena around here anymore because his time is over. John says the usual: if you want him gone, get rid of him. Rusev runs in from behind and takes Cena down, leaving Owens to powerbomb AJ. Cena gets caught in the Accolade and the villains stand tall.

The obvious tag match is set.

Jinder Mahal vs. Tye Dillinger

Non-title. Tye starts fast and sends Mahal into the corner, setting up a springboard high crossbody, only to get caught with a clothesline. Jinder hammers him down and chokes on the ropes a bit as we take an early break. Back with Tye shoving him away and firing off his left hands in the corner, only to eat a running knee to the face. The Khallas gives Mahal the pin at 6:40.

Rating: D. And so much for Dillinger. You had a nice moment with the debut and the TEN chants but now you’re getting squashed by the guy who was the squashee until a few months back. There really didn’t need to be a break in the middle of this as it merely showed how lame most of Mahal’s offense is. As usual, that’s the big problem with Mahal: he’s nothing beyond average and there’s not much away around it.

Mahal talks about bringing diversity and having 1.3 billion people behind him. He’ll take care of Orton next week when he brings the Punjabi Prison.

Jey Uso vs. Xavier Woods

Woods hits a few forearms to the back but gets sent into the corner early on. New Day protests and it’s a triple ejection with Kofi, Big E. and Jimmy being tossed. A quick superkick gets two on Woods but the Superfly Splash hits knees. Woods comes right back with the really long top rope elbow for the pin at 2:18.

The women’s division is in the locker room trying to find out who is getting the next title shot. Charlotte threatens a ruckus if it’s Lana so Shane McMahon makes a five way elimination match for Battleground. Hostilities seem imminent so he makes Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Tamina/Natalya. The rest of the women leave so Carmella comes in and demands that James Ellsworth be reinstated as per orders from her attorney. Shane rips up her request.

Baron Corbin isn’t worried about Shinsuke Nakamura and says it’s going to be sayonara tonight.

Baron Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura jumps him in the aisle and since this is an angle, referees break it up instead of letting the match happen. Odds are we’ll see this at Battleground.

Cena comes up to Styles in the back to talk about the US Open Challenge. Styles wants some payback from the Royal Rumble but they’ll have each others back tonight.

Cedric Alexander tells us to watch his I Quit match against Noam Dar on 205 Live.

Becky Lynch/Charlotte vs. Tamina/Natalya

Becky trips Tamina up and drops a spinning leg before handing it off to Charlotte. That doesn’t go as well as Charlotte gets taken into the corner for a stomping, only to nip up and chop away. The Bexploder sends Natalya to the floor but she sends Becky into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Becky fighting out of a chinlock but not being able to get over to Charlotte. Becky kicks away from the Sharpshooter and now it’s off to Charlotte for the chops. House is quickly cleaned but Lana pops up onto the apron for a distraction. Natalya uses the distraction to make a blind tag, allowing Tamina to get in the superkick for the pin on Charlotte at 8:40.

Rating: D+. Just a standard tag match here as Lana and Tamina get some momentum. The Smackdown women’s division is suddenly feeling rather inferior to the Raw counterpart as they seem to be trying to make new stars instead of running with what they have. It doesn’t help that two of the heels, Natalya and Tamina in this case, are black holes of charisma.

Maria Kanellis looks for Sami Zayn for the sake of an apology but no one has seen him.

Post break Sami interrupts Mike and Maria and says he won’t be apologizing. He’s been busy trying to have wrestling matches but keeps having to skirt around the two of them. Sami asks which one of them is the fighter so Maria slaps him in the face. Mike busts a vase over Sami’s head.

It’s time for Runway Walker: Texas Rangers, meaning a new version of the Fashion Files, complete with Chuck Norris clips from Survivor Series 1994. They’re in cowboy gear this year with Tyler wanting to lasso someone so they have to tell the truth like Wonder Woman. Fandango distracts Zack Ryder but Breeze lassos himself by mistake.

This makes him tell the truth, including that he wears a bra while going undercover because he’s no hippie. Mojo Rawley comes up and asks what he just stumbled into. Fandango suggests that the Hype Bros jumped them but Mojo says they wouldn’t do something shady like that.

Ryder calls Mojo eliminating him last week shady but Mojo says it was a battle royal. Ryder thinks it’s time to get back to reality and seems to suggest that Breezango does the same. In the melee, someone has stolen Fandango’s (stick) horse but they can’t decide if it was ghosts or aliens. Together: “GHOST ALIENS!” Next week: The Fashion X Files. Seriously.

Rusev/Kevin Owens vs. John Cena/AJ Styles

Rusev headlocks Cena to start and drops him without much effort, meaning it’s time to wave the Bulgarian flag. It’s off to Owens for some choking before Rusev punches Cena in the face. Back with Rusev spinwheel kicking Cena down but missing the middle rope headbutt. The hot tag brings in Styles for a quick Calf Crusher, only to have Rusev take him down again.

Owens comes in to stomp away and we hit the chinlock. The limping Rusev comes back in with the bearhug, which JBL says won Bruno Sammartino the World Title in 35 seconds in 1963 (it was a backbreaker in 48 seconds but the year is right). Styles escapes and comes in with the usual, including the Shuffle to Owens. Rusev eats the Phenomenal Forearm and it’s the AA to pin Owens at 13:09.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag here but good enough while it lasted. For the sake of the ending here, I’m glad Owens lost the title so having him take the fall isn’t the worst thing in the world. The match was perfectly fine and a good way to have two feuds together in one, though I’m only somewhat interested in Cena vs. Rusev at the pay per view.

Cena and Styles celebrate but have a staredown with Cena looking at the US Title. Cena holds up AJ’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty much a skippable show here as there were a few things added to the pay per view card but it doesn’t feel like much of an event. Then again, given some of the stuff we might be seeing at Summerslam, I could easily live with watching a lackluster show like Battleground to get there. Nothing special this week, but there are far worse ways to spend two hours.

Results

Jinder Mahal b. Tye Dillinger – Khallas

Xavier Woods b. Jey Uso – Top rope elbow

Tamina/Natalya b. Becky Lynch/Charlotte – Superkick to Charlotte

John Cena/AJ Styles b. Rusev/Kevin Owens – AA to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: February 6, 2003
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

No Way Out is creeping closer and it’s pretty clear that Hulk Hogan vs. the Rock is the main event, even if the big match on the horizon is Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Other than that though we have Team Angle gearing up to face Los Guerreros for the Tag Team Titles, which should be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s a crane in the arena and a big gift from Big Show, which has Undertaker’s name on it. Last time I remember seeing one of those things it was Cactus Jack so hopefully it’s more of the same.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Mysterio looks at the package on the way in. Is your name Undertaker Rey? Then why are you looking at it? Quit being greedy. Jamie does the same but that’s more acceptable since he’s a poor West Virginian and didn’t get many presents growing up. They run the ropes before awkwardly colliding with Jamie getting the better of it. A gutbuster gives Jamie two and we hit an early abdominal stretch.

Rey pops up and hits a spinning springboard crossbody for two of his own. Nidia pulls Rey off the apron but Rey is right back up for the 619 a few seconds later. That’s broken up by Nidia as well but an enziguri sets up the double 619 on both villains. Tazz: “TWELVE THIRTY EIGHT!” The West Coast Pop puts Jamie away.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as Rey gets some momentum back after getting crushed by A-Train. It would seem that they’re saving his Cruiserweight Title win for a major moment, though putting him in that nothing division would seem like a huge downgrade. The title can barely get five minutes a week and we’re supposed to buy Rey, who was going toe to toe with Angle just a few weeks ago, not being able to beat some of the talent down there?

Rock joins us via satellite and rips on Philadelphia and its cheese steaks before saying it’s because he’s lactose intolerant. He’ll take some Tampa Bay Tofu instead (Tampa recently eliminated the Philadelphia Eagles from the NFL Playoffs) but first let’s hear them chanting his names. They boo instead, because Rock is one of the best heels in wrestling when he wants to be.

Rock is cool with being booed because he knows he can electrify like no other. After mentioning Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, Rock says there’s one person Philadelphia never turned on: Hulk Hogan. After talking about a phone number Hogan can call to get a whipping, Rock wraps it up. This is still tweener stuff but when Rock turns on the full on heel push, it’s going to be amazing.

Rikishi vs. Nunzio

Nunzio goes straight after him to start and gets superkicked for his efforts. The running splash in the corner sets up the Rump Shaker for the fast pin. Squash.

Rikishi starts dancing but Nunzio says cut it out because he’s got friends. As I’ve said time after time: stop trying to start angles with people who just got beat in a minute and a half. It makes it really hard to care and I don’t know why wrestling companies think it’s a good idea.

Here’s Heyman to order the gift brought to the ring. Post break Heyman says Big Show isn’t here tonight but he’d like Undertaker to come out here and get his gift. Undertaker comes out and Heyman bails, leaving the gift to be opened to reveal….Brother Love. With the annoying voice sounding exactly the same, Love talks about a message of forgiveness to Big Show. Love brings up their history and says if Undertaker remembers anything from their original time together. Undertaker chokeslams and Tombstones him in short order. Good little cameo here and it didn’t overstay its welcome as so many others do.

Hogan is here and runs into Brock Lesnar, who he’s all cool with all of a sudden.

Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title though Matt has a TV/DVD player in his car and usually exceeds the speed limit. Kidman goes after Shannon Moore and walks into an early Side Effect. A legdrop gets two but Kidman is back up with a dropkick and a Sky High for two of his own. Kidman heads up top but dives into a Twist of Fate attempt, only to counter it into a rollup for the pin on Hardy. Too short to rate but energetic while it lasted.

Matt promises to drop ten pounds and take Kidman’s most cherished possession. Torrie Wilson?

Kurt Angle tells his team to fly like an eagle. Kurt: “A real eagle. Not the Philadelphia Eagles.” We get the idea already.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle

Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s just Heyman with Team Angle instead of Kurt. Chavo and Benjamin start things off with the former getting in way over his head in a technical sequence. It’s off to Eddie instead and a dropkick knocks Haas down so Chavo can get two.

Benjamin comes back in and eats a clothesline before getting choked in the corner. Charlie gets drawn in so the champs can crotch Benjamin against the post, bugging Shelton’s eyes out of his head. Shelton finally fights out of a chinlock and takes Eddie into the corner, only to have Eddie whipped into Chavo for a double knockdown. Another collision sends Chavo outside in a heap and we take a break.

Back with Chavo in trouble and Haas dropping some rapid fire elbows for two. The jump over Haas onto Chavo’s back gives Shelton two more but Eddie breaks up a second attempt. Everything breaks down and Chavo DDTs both champions, allowing the hot tag to Eddie. Three Amigos get two on Charlie and it’s an old school Powerplex with Shelton making a save. Charlie German suplexes Eddie but gets caught in a sunset bomb for another near fall. Eddie shoves Shelton off the top and hits the frog splash but Benjamin isn’t legal. The confusion lets Charlie roll Eddie up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. I rather like the fact that Team Angle won the belts clean. Yeah it was a bit of a confusing ending but it was completely within the rules as Eddie was the one covering the wrong man. Chavo and Eddie’s antics alone will keep them over so Team Angle can get a lot more out of the titles, especially since they’re so new.

Heyman seems more excited than the new champions.

Here’s Hogan to respond to Rock but before his music even quits playing though, Rock comes on screen to interrupt again. Hogan calls Rock out for not being here in Philadelphia but Rock tells him to get to the WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BROTHER because everything else is just meaningless.

Hogan talks about Rock being lucky that he’s nowhere near Philadelphia but hang on again. It turns out that Rock has to leave because the tofu is ready. Hogan needs to get to the point already but Rock wants Hulk to remind him to give him a beating at No Way Out, if you smell (Rock: “LOOK AT THE TONGUE! LOOK AT THE TONGUE!”) what he’s cooking.

Rock leaves so Hogan goes on a rant about Vince thinking Hulkamania is on life support because he’s scared to face Hulk one on one. He dubs Rock as the Rock-a-Jabroni (egads) and promises that the millions and millions of Hulkamaniacs are going to run wild on Rock at No Way Out. As you might have guessed, Rock was entertaining because he was mixing things up while Hogan was one of the two same promos he’s cut for about five years at this point.

The locker room is watching Hogan talk in the back when Sean O’Haire comes in to talk to Brian Kendrick. O’Haire thinks Kendrick should streak to get attention and Brian thinks it’s a good idea. He puts on a scarf (reference to a commercial at the time) and thankfully we go to a break.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Kendrick runs in without anything on, dances around, runs away from the referee and sprints through the crowd. A-Train wins in about forty five seconds with the Train Wreck.

Kendrick comes back until referees corner him, only to have Brian dive underneath the ring and escape to the back.

During the break, Kendrick ran into Stephanie’s office so size jokes can be made. As usual, there was no reason to have Stephanie here other than for the sake of her getting screen time.

Here’s John Cena to call out Lesnar for no logical reason. Cena insults Lesnar’s intelligence and says Brock can have the next big thing if Cena takes his pants off.

Benoit talks about how amazing the ovation he received in Boston was, only to have Angle come in. Angle says the title and gold medal are his wife and children so no one is taking them away.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle’s wife isn’t on the line. Benoit armdrags him into an armbar and gets two off a snap suplex. Angle sends Chris outside and Heyman actually runs him over in a rare sight. Back in and we hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors. A belly to back suplex gets two but Benoit makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and backdrop. The Crossface goes on but Angle reverses into a cradle to escape.

The Angle Slam is countered into a Crossface on the other arm as the crowd is really not reacting to any of this. Angle can’t use an ankle lock to escape but he gets to the ropes for a break. Kurt is back up with a buckle bomb of all things, only to get thrown down with a release German suplex. A bloody Benoit gets two but misses the Swan Dive to get us back to even. Benoit’s headlock is countered into the Angle Slam for the VERY sudden pin. Maybe they went home fast because of the cut?

Rating: B. Well that was quick. The match ran about ten minutes and felt like it needed another five when it just ended. Benoit certainly didn’t have the same fire out there but you’re only going to get so much with a limited time on a run of the mill TV show. Even on a bad night these two are going to be good though, so it’s hard to complain much.

Post match Team Angle comes in, only to have Edge and Lesnar make the save to end the show. Sounds like a six man.

Overall Rating: C+. The two matches involving Kurt/Team Angle were both good but it’s a barren wasteland outside of them. The only things coming into my mind are Kendrick streaking, Matt needing to lose weight and Rock shouting LOOK AT THE TONGUE. As has been mentioned many times, this show (and its counterpart) really need something for the midcard to do and it’s becoming clear that there was no need to get rid of the Intercontinental and US Titles. Just bring them back already and let the show improve because of it. The good matches carry this but good night it would have been bad without them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2017
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

Welcome home Johnny! After weeks of hype, John Cena is making his return to WWE TV tonight. This is the first time Cena has been seen since Wrestlemania XXXIII and there’s no real indication of what he’ll be doing. Since Cena can appear on either show, this might be something of note or just a glorified one off appearance. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Cena.

There’s no time wasted as Cena is right here to open the show. The fans are all over him but he tells them to let him have it because he’s WAY too fired up to be rattled tonight. Cena talks about the importance of Independence Day and talks about the American Dream (no not Dusty).

The same idea holds true here: everyone has a chance to come out here and compete with the best. Lately, a lot of people have been out here running their mouths talking about Cena going Hollywood and becoming little more than a part time mascot. Cena is an all-timer because he’ll show up on Raw or Smackdown to face anyone from AJ Styles to Jinder Mahal to Seth Rollins to Roman Reigns and anyone in between.

Cue the returning Rusev to say he works just as hard in the ring as anyone but he hasn’t had any commercials hyping up his return. The American Dream, just like Cena’s return, is a joke. Rusev rips on the Fourth of July and gets drowned out with a USA chant. Cena issues a challenge for a Flag Match but Rusev says we do this on his time and his terms. Rusev walks away so Cena starts a USA chant/song. Cena beating up a foreigner on the Fourth of July is as much of a layup as you can have and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Chad Gable and AJ Styles come in to see Daniel Bryan, who says Kevin Owens doesn’t want either of them in the battle royal because he’s beaten both of them. Bryan kind of agrees so the two of them will be fighting each other for the right to be in the battle royal instead.

Chad Gable vs. AJ Styles

No Jason Jordan in sight. Feeling out process to start with AJ easily being taken down but popping up for his dropkick to send us to a break less than a minute and a half in. Back with AJ blocking a belly to belly superplex attempt. The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up but Gable misses a moonsault attempt. AJ gets the Calf Crusher for a bit but Gable twists out and plants him with a German suplex. Not that it matters as AJ is sent to the apron and hits the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C+. Better match than I was expecting here though I’m curious if Jordan is hurt or something. That’s two singles matches for Gable in a row and we haven’t seen American Alpha in the ring in at least a month. I hope they’re not being split up or anything as Raw is dying for face teams and Alpha would be a great fit.

AJ helps him up post match.

Mojo Rawley looks at a Hype Bros shirt and doesn’t seem pleased. Zack Ryder comes in and says it’s cool because they’re both in the battle royal. That seems to smooth things over a bit.

Here are Carmella and James Ellsworth to brag about winning Money in the Bank again. Carmella laughs off the idea of the fans having their wrongs righted last week and goes Rolling Stones with a little You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Cue Naomi and the BELT HAS LED LIGHTS. That’s up there with the spinner title on the dumb scale. Naomi says her eyes are always open so the cash-in won’t work.

This brings out Daniel Bryan who tells Ellsworth to shut up. Due to what he did last week, he’s banned from the arena again, but as a bonus he’s fined $10,000 and suspended for thirty days without pay. If he doesn’t leave RIGHT NOW, Carmella loses the contract. They immediately leave, as you might expect. Thank goodness they addressed Ellsworth coming back in last week. This should wrap it up too and that’s the best thing possible.

Women’s Title: Lana vs. Naomi

Naomi is defending and grabs her reverse Rings of Saturn for the tap out at 11 seconds.

Post match Tamina comes out to stare Naomi down and leaves with Lana. Nope. Don’t even try to give Lana some kind of story or angle now. Not after you spend two months building her up with vignettes and then have her lose twice in less than a minute combined. I have no idea what the point was in building her up like that but if this is some nonsense about how she didn’t work hard enough or whatever, screw off WWE and get your nonsense in order. Or, you know, WRITE HER OFF TV INSTEAD OF KILLING HER LIKE THIS.

Baron Corbin jumps Shinsuke Nakamura with the briefcase.

It’s time for the Rap Off with rapper Wale in charge. Both the Usos and New Day have groups of people with them and trade insults about size, fake Jamaican accents, staying in your lane and the Usos being nothing until Naomi put them on Total Divas. A fight almost breaks out so Wale disqualifies the Usos to give New Day the win after nearly twelve minutes of rapping/rhyming back and forth. I know that’s a short recap but there’s really nothing else that can be said when it’s just talking back and forth.

Randy Orton vs. Aiden English

Aiden gets annoyed at Randy for interrupting his song and jumps him from behind. Before he can sing again though, we hit a commercial. The match is joined in progress with Orton beating the heck out of English, including dropping him back first onto the announcers’ table. The hanging DDT to the floor makes things even worse and Orton hits him with the steps for the DQ at 2:19.

English takes a post match RKO and here are Mahal and company with something to say. He talks about how everyone disrespects him because of the color of his skin but before he can speak Punjabi, Orton cuts him off and threatens to RKO Mahal back to India. Nobody likes Mahal because he’s a jacka**…and that’s it.

Tye Dillinger is interviewed by Tyler Breeze in drag. Tyler, or Te-Nee Young asks what Tye is going to do to deal with the quadruple threat of Breezango. Dillinger gives a basic strategy and nearly runs into Fandango, who is wearing a fake mustache and dressed like a construction worker. Fandango and Breeze are of course bros forever, no matter how physical things get tonight. They’ve got something with this Breeze/Fandango things and that’s likely grounds for running them into the ground asap.

Renee Young (who says Te-Nee Young was filling out the dress) interviews Mike and Maria Kanellis about the power of love. A noise interrupts them and it’s Sami Zayn stretching. He talks about the Power of Love and goes into a discussion of Huey Louis and the News. As Sami wonders why you never hear about the News, his music hits and he has to run off. Maria is not pleased.

Battle Royal

Sami Zayn, Konnor, Viktor, Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Mojo Rawley, Zack Ryder, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Tyler Breeze, AJ Styles, Tye Dillinger, Sin Cara

Winner gets a shot at Kevin Owens, on commentary here, and the US Title at Battleground. I think I have everyone in there but that’s always hard to pull off due to the constant camera cuts. Harper clotheslines Ziggler out before the vest can even come off. We take an early break and come back with Rowan eliminating Fandango.

Breeze is thrown to the apron and jumps into Fandango’s arms before being placed back inside. That’s fine with Rowan who dumps him a few seconds later. Harper knocks out Konnor but gets dumped by Rawley. We’re down to Ryder, Rawley, Rowan, Dillinger, Styles and Zayn. The Hype Bros nearly get into it but team up to dump Rowan. Rawley throws Ryder out and says it’s not personal. Ryder seems to take it personally though and doesn’t seem to mind when Sami kicks Rawley out.

So we’re down to three with Tye stomping on Styles and Sami, in increments of ten of course. Tye sends both of them to the apron but Sami backdrops Dillinger out to get us down to two. Sami grabs a quick exploder on Styles but misses the Helluva Kick and gets Pele Kicked out to give AJ the win at 11:18.

Rating: C. This was better than your average battle royal as they got rid of most of the nothing guys early and got down to people fans care about. Styles winning was obvious but they kept things moving and it was far from bad. The fans would have been happy with any of the final three so it was hardly torture.

Owens hits the ring and beats Styles down, only to have AJ knock him to the floor and hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Tonight was a completely skippable show, as it should have been on the major holiday. Save for Cena, who wasn’t around after the first fifteen minutes, nothing of note happened here, assuming you count AJ getting the title shot as important. This was exactly what they should have done tonight though as no one was watching and it gives them a week to put some stuff together.

Results

AJ Styles b. Chad Gable – Phenomenal Forearm

Naomi b. Lana – Reverse Rings of Saturn

Aiden English b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton used the steps

AJ Styles won a battle royal last eliminating Sami Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: January 30, 2003
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer to No Way Out and the big story is the return of Hulk Hogan, who showed up last week and punched out Vince McMahon. Other than that we have the far less important story of Brock Lesnar chasing Kurt Angle and the Smackdown World Title. You know, that secondary issue. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Vince vs. Hogan. Stephanie announcing that she had a surprise last week is included, solely for the purpose of getting Stephanie on TV.

Opening sequence.

A-Train vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio tries a 619 as A-Train gets in but settles for a dropkick off the apron before the bell. A spinning crossbody is easily caught and A-Train hammers away, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. Rey gets two off a running dropkick but the Derailer cuts him in half for two.

Cole talks out the referee’s birthday because he’s running out of things to talk about less than three minutes into a match. A full nelson with Rey’s legs wrapped around A-Train’s thighs slows him down until Mysterio spins out and gets a DDT. Not that it matters as A-Train hits the bicycle kick and finishes with the Train Wreck (over the shoulder kneeling backbreaker).

Rating: D. I was hoping that last week’s loss in the tag match was the end of A-Train but we’re just lucky enough to get more of him. I mean….have you seen the size of his head? What I want to know though is why he’d use a move called the Train Wreck when he’s the train. Wouldn’t that be something a bit self destructive?

Paul Heyman says Big Show won’t be facing Big Show tonight because Big Show has the night off.

Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena

Cena cuts a fairly racist rap with almost every Mexican stereotype you can think of. Oh and overweight girls are bad at dodgeball. Eddie slugs him down in the corner and throws Cena outside for some cheating from Chavo. Back in and Cena tosses him into the air for a crash as Tazz compliments his rapping skills. Now it’s Red Dogg getting in a few shots of his own but the fans chant for Eddie anyway. What a double standard.

Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex and a side slam for two each. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Eddie fights up, only to have Red Dogg grab his foot. The distraction completely fails as Chavo shoves Cena off the top, setting up one of the best looking frog splashes I’ve ever seen for the pin.

Rating: C-. You could see things starting to click for Cena and that’s a very good sign. Couple that with Eddie being at his normal level of awesome and there’s almost a guarantee that it was going to be entertaining. Unfortunately they didn’t have the time to do anything and Dogg isn’t as entertaining as Buchanan, who was fun in a stupid goofy kind of way.

Heyman has an idea and flags down newcomer Brian Kendrick to help him out.

Vince comes in to see Stephanie and talk about the Hogan return last week. She turns it into a discussion of Eric Bischoff trying to bring back Steve Austin. Stephanie: “Your nemesis!” I love how Stephanie has to explain Steve Austin’s connection to Vince McMahon himself because A, Vince might not remember or B, the fans might not remember. She goes on to explain that Hogan is in fact a legend and tell Vince how awesome he was during the Monday Night Wars. Since there’s really nothing to say to that, Vince says he has a surprise for later. This has been the latest version of NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS.

Shannon Moore vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Shannon has Matt Hardy, who thinks that Shannon has an iota of Mattitude and was the longest surviving Smackdown superstar in the Rumble, in his corner. During the entrances we hear about Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie in a Rumble rematch…..on Velocity. Thank goodness they finally took the hint on that one. Kidman gets jumped to start but the threat of a right hand sends Shannon bailing to the floor.

The fans chant WE WANT JEFF as Shannon whips Kidman hard into the corner to set up a chinlock. Kidman fights out of the second chinlock and gets in a jumping elbow to the jaw as things speed up. Something like the Sky High gets two but Shannon hits a running Blockbuster from the side. That just earns him an enziguri and the shooting star gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: C. Shannon was showing some aggression here to play up the idea of having more Mattitude and that’s a good sign for him. He’s certainly not the most intimidating guy in the world so having him be more intense can only do good things for him. Moore always had the in-ring abilities but he needs a strong gimmick to get him anywhere.

Post match Matt lays out Kidman, hopefully giving him a challenger for the title. It would be nice for a change.

Here’s Vince for his surprise. He goes on a long and rather good rant about how Hulkamania is dying and he can’t wait to kill it himself. Hogan can talk about the power of Hulkamania all he wants and wear the red and yellow (Vince: “I still don’t get it.”) but the truth is that Hogan is a bloodsucking bottom feeder who is a manipulating businessman. What Hulk doesn’t want you to know is that Vince created Hogan and Hulkamania itself. That gets Vince to No Way Out, where Hogan will be going one on one with the Rock. Speaking of the Rock, here he is…..via satellite of course.

Rock immediately goes a bit heelish by ripping on Green Bay being way too cold for him to show up. The reality is that Rock doesn’t answer to Vince because he belongs to the people. Rock is going to bring the electricity like he brought at Wrestlemania where records were broken. At No Way Out, you’re going to have the biggest star of all time and on the other hand there’s Hulk Hogan.

When they meet again, Hogan is going to Hulk Up and Rock won’t be able to care less. It’s going to be Wrestlemania all over again with Hogan taking a beating, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock was sprinkling the heel attitude throughout the promo but was getting cheered anyway. The key here was he didn’t go full blast with it, meaning he’ll be inching into his new attitude instead. You don’t get that enough and it takes someone as good as Rock to really pull it off.

Bill DeMott vs. Rikishi

It’s the rubber match! Why this warranted a second match, let alone a third, is beyond me. Rikishi grabs a headlock as the announcers talk about the Tough Enough match on Raw. DeMott sends him shoulder first into the post and grabs an abdominal stretch. Does that work when there’s so much gut there to pull on? A slam makes the ribs worse but the moonsault is countered with an electric chair. Rikishi superkicks him down and tries a DDT but DeMott grabs the ropes to send Rikishi crashing down. A cover with DeMott laying on the ropes gives him the pin.

Rating: D-. The ending here made things even worse than they would have been on their own. DeMott is going absolutely nowhere as this heel turn is a disaster so far. Having him beat up the cruiserweights was fine enough but you knew he was done as soon as they started having him trade wins with Rikishi of all people. Thankfully this is pretty much it for DeMott, who would have two more matches on Smackdown for the year while being shunted down to Velocity instead.

Undertaker comes out almost immediately after the match with DeMott bailing. After a break, Undertaker is sitting on the steps, saying this is where he’s supposed to say all the things he’s going to do to Big Show. Forget that though because we need to just shut up and fight. It’s Heyman instead though, reminding us that Show isn’t here tonight. Show has a message for Undertaker though and here’s Kendrick on a kid’s bicycle in a singing telegram outfit.

Undertaker has about as much of this as you would expect but tells Kendrick to do whatever he’s supposed to. Kendrick “sings” something about Big Show never doing something (he wasn’t easy to understand) so Undertaker threatens Heyman. Brian actually asks for a tip…..and gets $100! Undertaker has him sing again and the beating is on in a hurry. Naturally Undertaker takes the money back. Well to be fair Kendrick was off key.

Kurt Angle gives his team a pep talk, even quoting Vince Lombardi but making sure to insult the Green Bay Packers to avoid the face reaction. I would list off what Kurt says but I’m too distracted by how sweet those track suits are. The gist of it: win at any costs.

Video on Brock Lesnar, which is basically just an edited version of his talk from last week.

Sean O’Haire tells us to drink and smoke.

Team Angle vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

The winners get a title shot next week and Angle sits in on commentary. Kurt: “They call me Captain Kurt.” Cole: “How’s Mr. Spock?” Benoit takes over on Haas to start and chops away in the corner. Benjamin comes in for a gutbuster because he’s better than Haas. Shelton misses a charge so it’s off to Edge as the pace picks way up. With his team in trouble, Angle gets up on the apron but gets speared right back down. Why Edge spearing the title doesn’t cause him damage isn’t clear but whatever.

The house cleaning continues with Edge missile dropkicking Benjamin for two and we take a break. Back with Benoit stomping on Benjamin and Edge starting in on Charlie’s shoulder. An armbar cuts off Charlie’s comeback but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Coach Kurt talks Charlie to his feet for a belly to belly though and the Angleites take over.

Shelton starts in on the knee and Charlie works on a leglock. A reverse Figure Four keeps Edge in trouble, much to Edge’s delight. Shelton cannonballs down onto the leg and grabs a regular Figure Four. Benoit comes in and breaks it up by hitting Benjamin in the head, only to have Haas grab a Figure Four of his own.

He’s no Shelton though so Edge gets out and sends him into the corner for the hot tag to Benoit. Chris starts rolling the German suplexes and Swan Dives Shelton for two. The Crossface is broken up and Angle hits Benoit with the title to give Shelton the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. Good stuff here, like it would have been anything else. Team Angle has taken to the ring very smoothly and it makes for some very entertaining matches. I’m glad they went with the regular team instead of another two man combination who teams together when they need to. Kurt cheating to win is the right move here too as it plays off the speech he gave to them earlier.

Overall Rating: D+. Strong main event aside, there’s not enough here to really get excited about. Hogan vs. Rock should be good but watching stuff like A-Train wreck Mysterio and DeMott vs. Rikishi, followed by Undertaker beating up a guy just trying to make a living isn’t exactly thrilling TV. The talking really hurt things this week and there’s only so much that one really good match can do to counter that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: September 7, 2007
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is another request as I try (in vain) to clear out that overly large pile. We’re coming up on Unforgiven 2007 meaning Great Khali is Smackdown World Champion with Batista chasing him. Tonight’s main event is Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in an I Quit match as those two were joined at the hip for years. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows Rey Mysterio winning a competition last week to become #1 contender, only to be destroyed by Khali.

Opening sequence, featuring some of the wrestlers turning into comic book style drawings. Couple that with the fist and is there any wonder why Smackdown was considered so much cooler than Raw?

We open with MVP’s VIP Lounge with MVP bragging about being the US Champion and half of the Tag Team Champions with Matt Hardy (which they won last week). He’s so awesome that he’s the host and the guest but he’s also having Matt out here as a bonus. After Matt has to check in with the bouncer, MVP takes credit for the win.

We see a clip of MVP coming in to get the pin after Matt wrestled the entire match, which MVP says makes him the captain. Matt smirks and shows us a clip of his own. After last week’s match, MVP was bragging to his agent when Matt came in and asked what that was. MVP calls it vision so Matt punches him in the jaw. Back live, Matt says he wants a US Title shot but MVP says they have a Tag Team Title defense at Unforgiven against former champions Deuce N Domino. As for tonight though, Matt has a match right now.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce

Matt is in jeans and we’re joined in progress after a break. Deuce fires in some shoulders to the ribs but gets sent into the buckles a few times. A hot shot cuts Matt off as MVP keeps cheering him on. We hit the neck crank for a good while until Matt shrugs off a superplex attempt. The Side Effect gets two but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up and MVP deals with Domino, allowing Matt to grab the Side Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick match here to keep the MVP/Matt story going because the INCREDIBLY long time spent on it just wasn’t enough. There was a good idea behind it but the constant health issues hurt it a lot. At least it gave Matt a spotlight near the top of his singles run, which was quite the welcome development.

Jamie Noble has an AKME (yes AKME) leprechaun trap, which means putting Lucky Charms underneath a box to catch Hornswoggle. Shannon Moore thinks this is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen because Shannon is, you know, smart. They wait on Hornswoggle to make sure the stupidity stretches out even longer.

We look at Rey Mysterio’s debut when he beat Chavo Guerrero, who he faces in an I Quit match tonight. This included Tazz calling it the Six Nineteen (fair enough, just odd to hear).

Kenny Dykstra vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kenny (from the Spirit Squad, now just a cocky prospect) has Victoria as a trainer while Palumbo is a biker with Michelle McCool (who is always better looking than I remember). Cole: “How can you not get into a Chuck Palumbo match???” Chuck starts fast with belly to back suplexes as the announcers try to get over “motorcycle mechanic” as a good gimmick. Dykstra starts in on the arm but gets caught in a powerslam for his efforts. Victoria goes after Chuck’s bike for some reason so Michelle takes care of her, leaving Chuck to hit the Full Throttle (spinning Big Ending) for the pin. This was what you would expect it to be.

Teddy Long is getting married to Krystal Marshall (not around long) in two weeks and gives her a Jagged Edge CD. They’ll be performing at the wedding. Krystal gets a phone call from her mom and leaves so Vickie Guerrero suggests he give the CD to Vince. It’s not funny.

Video on Chavo costing Mysterio the World Title.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Kane/Batista

Rematch from Saturday Night’s Main Event to make sure you remember that the show exists. The World Title looking so small on Khali’s shoulder is always a cool visual. Finlay and Batista get things going with Big Dave actually using a leg trip to take Finlay down. It’s off to some arm cranking, followed by a headlock takeover of all things. A bit of an awkward sequence ends in Finlay taking an atomic drop, followed by a catapult to send him into Khali.

Back from a break with Finlay still in trouble and Kane coming in to what I hope was a canned pop. I’d hate to think that 2007 Kane was really that popular. A suplex gets two as the announcers talk about how mad Kane is. I wouldn’t think someone that angry would be suplexing people but Kane is an odd parakeet. Khali comes in for the big showdown but Finlay low bridges Kane to the floor to take over.

We hit the slow motion offense and, again, that doesn’t make Khali bad. He’s not someone who should be doing flashy stuff so having him do the basics but doing them well is exactly what how he should be going about his matches. Khali kicks Kane in the face and we hit the nerve hold, with Khali’s back to the camera. That looks so foreign today and, contrary to what WWE thinks, it’s really not a big deal as a camera goes over to film it from the other side so we can see the all important face.

Khali breaks out of a chokeslam attempt but takes an enziguri to the elbow (Cole’s words, as enziguri means HEAD kick, therefore meaning it can’t hit the elbow by definition). Finlay pulls Batista to the floor though and the beating continues. The shoulder goes into the post and Runjin Singh gets on the apron so Finlay can use the club. Unfortunately it also allows Batista to spear Finlay down. A double clothesline puts Khali on the floor and a chokeslam ends Finlay.

Rating: C+. Fairly good tag match here with the ending being a bit surprising as Batista didn’t get the hot tag. Kane looked good here and acted like the veteran that he is, much like Finlay. Khali was used in spurts here, which is what should be done with a giant like him. I liked this more than I thought I would, though to be fair that’s not the highest level of accomplishment.

After a good match, it’s back to the Hornswoggle hunt. He gets the cereal and breaks the rope, annoying Moore and Noble. Naturally Hornswoggle has left the belt where the cereal was and tied his own rope, meaning Jamie gets caught in his own trap. Sweet chipmunks on popsicle sticks that made my head hurt.

We look at Rey beating Chavo up at No Mercy 2006 as revenge for costing him the World Title.

Jesse and Festus have arrived and find Noble still in the box. Jesse: “THEY HAVE TALKING BOXES HERE!” Noble is stuck in the box because a professional athlete is incapable of lifting a box off the ground and getting his foot under it or something.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Hornswoggle is defending but there’s no Jamie, meaning he loses by countout.

Noble comes out after the match and chases Hornswoggle, who leaves marbles behind to trip Jamie. I know the line is that Hornswoggle killed the cruiserweights but (if the title wasn’t dead by the time Hornswoggle got it), this is the kind of stuff that ended it for good. This is unfunny nonsense that would amuse a three year old and it’s over a title.

We go back to Raw as Vince is trying to find out the identity of his illegitimate son. Linda threatened to sue him over all of his alleged affairs and the rest of the family wants him to get help. Vince got on his knee and vowed to be a better person but Mr. Kennedy interrupted, flat out saying he’s the son. That would have been on August 27. Three days later, Kennedy was popped for a Wellness Policy violation (along with ten others) and the whole storyline was scrapped, basically ending Kennedy’s time as anything important in the company.

Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven. I’m assuming he died again recently. Or there were a bunch of people popped for steroids and we needed some star power to divert attention.

A druid is in the ring when Mark Henry, the man who injured Undertaker, comes out. The lights go out and the druid disappears as the gong sounds.

We look at Chavo beating Rey Mysterio into knee surgery in their first I Quit match.

Unforgiven rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

I Quit. Chavo has a chair that he calls part of both Mysterio’s past and future. Knee injuries are promised again. The referee takes the chair outside before the bell (no need for that) and Rey comes out slugging (there’s a rare sight). Rey gets choked on the ropes and limps to the floor, only to come back in with the first of likely many hurricanranas. They head outside with a chair duel going to Chavo, who cracks Rey in the ribs.

It’s too early to have an effect though as Mysterio kicks him in the head and scores with some chair shots of his own. Back in and Chavo muscles him over with a German suplex before starting in on the knee with the chair. That just earns him a sitout bulldog onto the chair and a 619 into the chair makes things even worse. A chair to the knee cuts Rey off though and we take a break.

Back with Chavo holding a half crab but not being able to hit a powerbomb onto a pair of chairs. Instead Chavo chairs him in the knee again and puts the chair around his neck for a ram into the post. Rey isn’t done yet (because crushing your neck isn’t enough to end a match) and hits a top rope seated senton to drive Chavo through the chair in a cool visual. The Gory Bomb onto a chair puts Rey down again though but he breaks up the frog splash. A chair to the head ties Chavo in the Tree of Woe and Rey unloads on Chavo’s knee to make Chavo quit.

Rating: B. Rey popping up from a lot of shots to the knee aside, this was all the match needed to be. I don’t think anyone believed Chavo was going to beat Mysterio in a second major match and having Mysterio get the win back, even in the same way Chavo beat him the first time, is the way to go here. Chavo did better than I was expecting here and the match was entertaining, as it needed to be.

Post match here’s Khali to hook Mysterio in the Vice, causing blood to flow from Rey’s mouth. Batista makes the save and Teddy Long adds him to Sunday’s match for the sake of making the title match interesting.

Overall Rating: C+. The first half wasn’t great but after we got around the Hornswoggle nonsense, this was actually a pretty nice show. The big gimmick main event helped and the tag match was a nice way to bridge things along. Smackdown in 2007 was one of those years where they were ignored so much that they were able to put on an entertaining show while the focus was all on Raw. That’s often a good thing and it worked well here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2017
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s ladies night with two major women’s matches on the card. First up we have the second ever women’s Money in the Bank ladder match as the WWE tries to fix the mess they made out of the first one just nine days ago. After that we have Lana challenging Naomi for the Women’s Title in another Money in the Bank rematch. It’s almost like they’re just doing the same things twice for the sake of not having to come up with anything new. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at the Money in the Bank ladder match from the pay per view and the build to tonight with the theme of seizing opportunity when you get the chance. This is also used on the rest of the major stories going on around here.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to hype up the ladder match and explain the concept, only to be cut off by Carmella. She goes on the same rant she went on last week, explaining the rules of the Money in the Bank match and saying she didn’t break any rules. Carmella: “How can you break a rule if there are no rules???” Other people have interfered in ladder matches and those results weren’t changed. Bryan says he’s heard this before and we’re having the ladder match.

James Ellsworth tells the people to shut up and calls Bryan pathetic. He looks at Bryan and sees a coward who is staying out of the ring because of some fake injury. Daniel smiles and says he should just fire Ellsworth but instead just bans him from the entire arena for the rest of the night. Security comes out and drags him away as this opening segment wraps up after nearly fifteen minutes with really nothing new being done.

Hype Bros vs. Usos

Non-title but if the Hype Bros win, they get a future title shot. Zack and Jimmy start things off with an armdrag sending Uso down. It’s off to both partners with Mojo clotheslining Jey to the floor for a dive from Ryder. Jey gets in a superkick though and we take a break. Back with Ryder missing a charge in the corner and Jimmy adding the Superfly splash for the pin at 5:42. Not enough to rate due to the break but the commercial seemed completely worthless as there was less than ten seconds of action after the break.

Post match the New Day comes out to challenge for the titles at Battleground. The Usos accept, in rhyme no less. Kofi rhymes a bit of his own and tromboning ensues.

It’s Fashion Vice time with Ascension sitting in an interrogation room to be grilled by Breezango. Fandango holds up the stick figure drawing, which Konnor says isn’t them. Fandango: “You expect me to believe that? Because I do.” He offers two tickets to paradise (as in Eddie Money tickets) in exchange for information but that goes nowhere.

Breeze pulls out the water guns….and offers them iced tea and a cheese platter. Konnor says it wasn’t them and they were just at Money in the Bank to get a match. Noise is heard elsewhere and they leave to find their office trashed again. Fandango: “Sweet Richard Simmons.” There must be someone else so Breezango starts thinking. As they do, Ascension takes the concert tickets. That’s better as Ascension was the lamest reveal they could have done.

Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Lana

Lana is challenging and jumps Naomi during the Big Match Intros. The bell rings and Lana’s sitout spinebuster gets two. So much for that as a finisher. Naomi kicks her in the head and hits the split legged moonsault to retain at 41 seconds.

Becky Lynch is ready to have a fair chance to win Money in the Bank.

Here’s Aiden English to sing about how awesome he is. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off and we take a break. Back with Orton sitting in a chair, having RKO’d English during the commercial. We look back at Orton taking out the Singh Brothers last week (because we haven’t had enough filler on this show yet) before Orton says he wants another shot at Mahal’s title.

If he doesn’t get it, he’s going to beat Mahal up in the back. Then he’ll beat Mahal up in the parking lot. Then he’ll beat Mahal up in the airport. Then he’ll beat Mahal up at next week’s show too. At what point does Mahal file a restraining order? Here’s Shane McMahon to keep Orton from going Mahal hunting by saying we can’t have this. Orton is willing to be fired and go from city to city and spend all his money beating Mahal up.

Shane points out that the Singh Brothers did things that Orton has done before but he can sympathize with these feelings. The rematch is set for Battleground but there will be a stipulation chosen by Mahal. That’s cool with Orton but here’s Mahal to interrupt as well. Mahal says this is what’s wrong with everything around here when Orton isn’t worthy of a rematch. He mentions Great Khali being an inspiration (who he hated back in the day) and makes it a Punjabi Prison match. As luck would have it, there’s a video all primed up and ready to go as soon as he says it.

AJ Styles and Kevin Owens come in to see Bryan with Owens saying AJ couldn’t answer last week’s Open Challenge because he’s already been beaten. Styles makes an Anchorman reference which Owens doesn’t get (I don’t either as I only saw that movie once and didn’t care for it. I’ll wait here for you to gather your pitchforks.). Bryan has an idea: next week on the Fourth of July, we’ll have a battle royal with the winner facing Owens for the title at Battleground.

Here are Mike and Maria Kanellis for their Smackdown debut, only to have Sami Zayn cut them off in just a few seconds.

Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

Sami goes right after him to start and sends Corbin to the floor, only to get tossed into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Corbin still in control and grabbing a bearhug. Sami slips out and hits that hard clothesline of his and avoids a charge, sending Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin misses another charge and gets rolled up for two before driving Sami right back into the same corner. A headbutt puts Corbin down but he catches a charging Sami with End of Days for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C-. Just a quick win for Corbin here and that’s why Sami is around: he can lose several matches but the one or two wins he does get are enough to fuel him for a long time. Corbin needed this win to get him back on track for the sake of him being Mr. Money in the Bank, which should keep him going for a long time.

Shinsuke Nakamura says Corbin is scared of him and for good reason.

Charlotte vs. Tamina vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Natalya

Money in the Bank. Everyone brawls on the floor to start, leaving Carmella to make the very early climb. Naturally it’s very slow, allowing the other four to come in and stop her without too much effort. We’re quickly down to Becky vs. Charlotte with Lynch being left alone, only to have Tamina come back to send her into the ladder. A not great looking Superfly Splash crushes Becky and we take a break.

Back with Natalya suplexing Charlotte but getting suplexed on the floor by Becky. Charlotte and Tamina fight over the ladder until Natalya makes a save and loads it up over Charlotte in the corner. Natalya starts to climb but Charlotte shoves her ladder up to make a ramp for the save. Carmella shoves the ladder over, only to take a pumphandle suplex from Becky.

Back from another break with Natalya climbing slowly enough that Charlotte can make a save. Everyone but Carmella gets shoved down but the other four are right back to lift the ladder up and carry it away from the case. Carmella dives onto Becky and Natalya, leaving Charlotte to drop Tamina again. Charlotte puts the ladder over Tamina and climbs but Carmella is back to grab her legs.

Tamina pushes the ladder up from the mat for another save and superkicks the air in front of Charlotte’s face. A double powerbomb brings Carmella down but Natalya tries a Sharpshooter on Carmella. The announcers say it’s to take the legs out, though HITTING HER WITH A LADDER might make more sense.

Natalya goes after Charlotte and fights her into the crowd…..and here’s Ellsworth to climb the ladder. Becky shoves him over and crotches him on the top. Carmella makes another save and Becky hurts her leg on the landing. Carmella gives her a really bad chair shot to the back and climbs up for the briefcase at 24:29.

Rating: B-. General issues with ladder matches aside (the Sharpshooter, fighting into the crowd, slow climbing until the very end etc.), completely acceptable stuff for the most part. This was more long than good but they got the ending right, which was by far the most important thing they could have done here. Of course this begs the question of why they didn’t just do this in the first place but you have to take what you can get from WWE most of the time. At least Carmella won and looks strong as she goes after the title now, which is what matters most.

Overall Rating: C. The ladder match saves a lot of this but it was clear they were filling in as much time as they could. I have no idea what the point of the Women’s Title match was and the Hype Bros match was a bit of a waste of time as well. The ending worked though and that’s the most important part, especially when next week changes everything as Cena is back. Not a bad show, but it’s all about the main event and nothing more.

Results

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly Splash to Ryder

Naomi b. Lana – Split legged moonsault

Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days

Carmella won Money in the Bank

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: January 23, 2003
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the Royal Rumble and it’s all hands on deck towards Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title. Lesnar won the Royal Rumble and Angle successfully defended his title in a masterpiece against Chris Benoit, leaving the two of them as the undisputed top names on the show. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie McMahon announces Undertaker returning tonight, plus the return of another big surprise. The low cut of her top as she leans over a table while saying this would suggest that she’s a face this week.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Charlie Haas

Benoit shoves him into the corner to start but Charlie easily takes him down to get into the technical sequence. Haas’ leglock is countered into an armbar but Charlie reverses that just as easily. You can tell they’re both more comfortable with this style and that makes for a more entertaining match. Charlie hangs onto a hammerlock as the announcers talk about Brock Lesnar being here tonight. It’s always a bit jarring to have that be a normal night instead of a major announcement.

Benoit’s arm goes into the steps and it’s time for more armbars. Chris tries a few rollups but Charlie just goes for the arm again without missing a beat. Benoit fights up with a one arm backdrop and a release German suplex as the arm gives out. The long distance Swan Dive connects but the Crossface doesn’t work. Charlie loads up some suplexes of his own but Benoit reverses into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. This was all about the psychology with Benoit not being able to use his normal stuff but suckering the rookie in for the pin at the end. Benoit is still looking like one of the best on the show at this point and I guess I can sit and watch him wrestle this well against Team Angle for a little while longer if I just have to.

Rikishi vs. Bill DeMott

Rematch from last week but DeMott injured his arm in the Rumble. They slug it out to start with DeMott hitting some shoulders to the gut in the corner. The referee tells DeMott to let Rikishi out of the corner. DeMott: “I HAVE TILL FIVE!” Rikishi starts in on the arm and a very hard clothesline drops Bill in a heap. A spinebuster does the same to Rikishi but DeMott hits his arm in the corner. Rikishi’s superkick sets up a Rump Shaker onto the arm (smart) for the pin.

Rating: D+. That should do it for DeMott. I can go for the arm work and sitting on the arm for the pin was a smart way of ending the show. The problem though is having DeMott vs. Rikishi as a feud as neither of them are all that interesting. Also I’m so glad they built DeMott up by having him wreck the cruiserweights, only to lose to Rikishi of all people.

Nathan Jones is still coming.

Big Show chokes Josh Matthews instead of talking about Undertaker.

Matt Hardy gives Shannon Moore a pep talk and sends him into the women’s restroom. Thankfully Matt goes off to see Nunzio instead of following up on the comedy. Nunzio talks about his nephew being like Moore. Sometimes you need to teach people a lesson using the family way. Matt asks Nunzio to give Shannon a Mattitude adjustment.

Tony Chimmel reminds us that Stephanie still has a big announcement as well as Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysteiro later tonight. This is the kind of announcement you would have off camera to announce a dark match instead of showing it on camera. They already showed a Stephanie announcement graphic earlier so why do it this way here? Just for diversity?

Here’s Undertaker, now with the You’re Gonna Pay theme, (I’ve always liked it) for a chat. Since irony doesn’t exist in WWE’s minds, Undertaker talks about how there’s too much talking around here lately. We see a clip of Big Show destroying Big Show a few months back so it’s time for the call out. Here’s Big Show in a suit to say that’s not happening tonight, but he has something for Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

The announcers try to figure out the name of A-Train’s chokebomb but drop it when A-Train shoulders Undertaker down. We’re off to the bearhug a minute in but Undertaker slips out and hits his running clothesline. They’re not exactly going out of the safe areas here but I can’t imagine this lasts much longer.

The elbows and legdrop on the apron have A-Train in trouble but the chokeslam is only good for two. A Last Ride attempt is broken up with a backdrop and the Derailer (chokebomb, which they now know the name of) gets two. Undertaker slips off his shoulder though and a dragon sleeper (Taking Care of Business) makes A-Train tap.

Rating: D+. Again, could have been worse as the recently built up heel monsters are falling fast tonight. Undertaker beating A-Train to help build towards a Big Show match isn’t the most thrilling idea but at least….wait what is the positive here? Uh….well the match wasn’t all that bad I guess. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

Sean O’Haire doesn’t like the government taxing people.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Edge elbows and leg lariats him down to start and it’s time for the chops in the corner. Shelton just isn’t that much of a striker though so he launches Edge with the first German suplex of the match. Some nice amateur moves take Edge down but he slips out of a slam and grabs the Edge-o-Matic. Shelton is right back on it with a cross arm chinlock for a little while. Edge’s comeback doesn’t take long but the threat of a spear brings Charlie to the apron. The distraction lets Shelton hit the Dragon Whip (that swinging kick to the face) but Edge shrugs it off and gets the spear for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard match here but Shelton and Charlie still look way beyond their years, at least on the main roster. As soon as they’re allowed to be a regular team, they’re going to be at worst the second best active team on the roster, depending on how well the Guerreros are feeling that night.

Kurt berates his team for the losses. They need to work on their Three I’s. Kurt: “Cripes All Friday!” He tells them both to stay here during his match so they can learn a little something.

Nunzio vs. Shannon Moore

No entrance for either guy and Nunzio takes him to the mat in a hurry. Nunzio sends him shoulder first into the post (way too popular of a target tonight) as Matt seems very pleased with his protege’s destruction. A middle rope Fameasser gives Nunzio two and we hit a figure four necklock for a few moments. Shannon comes back with a running flip neckbreaker for two as a weak ECW chant starts up. A Whisper in the Wind gets one as Shannon but he pulls up to shout to Matt. Shannon’s Twist of Fate is countered into the tornado hammerlock DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. No time to go anywhere but this was much more about the angle than anything else. Shannon and Matt are a funny enough pair with Matt speaking such nonsense and Shannon going along with it like it’s all perfectly logical. Nunzio is a weird character as he’s treated like a tough guy but his second match was a squash loss to DeMott and he’s really small in stature. He’s trying but there are some big issues working against him.

Matt chases Shannon off.

Brock Lesnar talks about having goals in WWE and accomplishing them all. Now he wants to win the World Title at Wrestlemania and F5 Paul Heyman.

Shannon hides in a box, which Matt happens to sit on.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and it’s just Heyman with Kurt here. Rey starts fast with the dropkicks but his hurricanrana is countered into one heck of a sitout powerbomb. A nearly spike German suplex gets two and Heyman is busy telling the title how much he loves it. Angle’s front facelock is broken up with a northern lights suplex and an ankle scissors out of the corner sends Angle outside.

The referee won’t let Rey dive so he dives over the referee like a good luchador should. Mysterio drops the dime for two and Angle goes shoulder first into the post to make things even worse. Angle LAUNCHES him with a belly to belly but charges into the drop toehold. He still blocks the 619, only to get caught in the sitout bulldog for two. Rey loads up the West Coast Pop but Angle catches him on his shoulders. A hard drop onto the turnbuckle sets up an electric chair drop for the pin.

Rating: B+. Is Angle capable of doing anything wrong at this point? He’s been on fire lately with an incredible match on Sunday and this great one two days later. Mysterio was certainly game here too and he got to showcase his ample talents as well. Really good match here and one of the better TV matches in a long time for this company.

Angle goes for the ankle lock post match so Edge and Benoit make the save. Running isn’t cool with the Canadians though and Angle takes a beating.

Stephanie won’t tell Funaki what the surprise is but she looks at a Hulk Hogan poster to make sure there’s no doubt.

Back from a break and it is indeed Hogan. Hulk gets a huge reaction and the fans take their sweet time cheering him. As you might expect, Hogan knows exactly how to soak the whole thing in and egg them on even harder. The ovation goes on so long that we take a break and come back with it still going on.

Hogan seems a bit overwhelmed (though you never can tell with him) and admits that the Hulkamaniacs are his life. He’s here to make one announcement: he’s signed a brand new contract but this time it’s going to be the right way with the red and yellow and the fans in his corner. This is going to be the last journey but let this be the greatest of them all.

Cue Vince McMahon though and I think you know where this is going. Vince says Hulkamania is just like Al Wilson: completely dead. Hogan disagrees and wants to fight Vince first. The boss isn’t cool with that (as he shouldn’t be) so Hulk lays him out with a single right hand, FINALLY ending this segment at well over twenty minutes.

Overall Rating: B-. A lot of the talking hurt things here but there’s only so much that can be done to stop a wrestling show like this. Tonight was all about the awesome action with the Smackdown talent being WAY ahead of the Raw counterparts, mainly due to pure in-ring talent alone. This show doesn’t bother with a lot of the stupid stories and goes with people fighting over titles or because they don’t like each other. Sometimes that’s all you need and when you have this level of talent, it’s going to work every time. Stretch some of the matches and cut out some of the talking here and it’s a great show, but as it is, it’s just good.

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