Smackdown
Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s two days after Survivor Series and less than two weeks to Tables, Ladders and Chairs, meaning it’s time to make up a card. Thankfully Smackdown is ready for that and has already announced a tag team turmoil match to determine who will challenge Rhyno and Heath Slater. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of Smackdown winning the men’s tag match.

Here’s a banged up Shane McMahon to open things up. After a YOU STILL GOT IT chant, Shane praises Team Raw for bringing it as hard as they did. That being said, he’s not happy with AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose, who couldn’t keep it together for a single night. Shane is as close to serious as he can get but Dean keeps chuckling and brings out James Ellsworth, who took out Braun Strowman.

Apparently there’s a surprise for Ellsworth but Dean jumps the gun by saying James is getting a contract. So he was working freelance until then? And he had a World Title shot? Didn’t Shane learn anything from the Monday Night Wars? Dean has been given the night off and Shane wants him out of the building.

This brings out AJ Styles, who wants Dean’s title shot revoked. After that goes nowhere, AJ goes to Ellsworth, who is being handed his contract. Since TLC is in two weeks, AJ needs a warmup. How about we put that contract above the ring and have a ladder match? Ellsworth actually agrees but if he wins, he wants a future title shot.

Daniel Bryan interrupts Miz and Maryse’s photo shoot and Miz is ready for Mizgiving. That’s not what Daniel has in mind though as he’s going to give Miz an Intercontinental Title defense against Kalisto, who was screwed out of the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday.

After a break, Shane makes sure Dean leaves the arena.

Intercontinental Title: Kalisto vs. Miz

Miz is defending. Kalisto goes behind to start and backflips under a clothesline. A suicide dive sends Miz down to the floor and us to a break. Back with Kalisto still in control and hitting his springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. A slingshot sitout powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two more on the champ as Miz is reeling so far. Cue Baron Corbin for a distraction though and a Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 7:15. Not enough to rate but Miz was getting squashed until the ending.

Corbin lays Kalisto out and Dolph Ziggler superkicks Miz to make up for last week. Good grief can we PLEASE go somewhere with Corbin vs. Kalisto but more importantly, MOVE ON FROM MIZ VS. ZIGGLER???

Alexa Bliss comes in to see the bosses but Bryan bails to go deal with what happened. Becky Lynch walks in (“I knocked.”) and says the rematch is at TLC. Cue Natalya with the whistle and talks her way into a match with Becky. Natalya leaves so here’s Dean with a pizza, much to Shane’s annoyance. Becky: “I’ll see you later….after I take out a PIZZA Nattie’s arm!”

Video on the Wrestlemania ticket sale party.

Bryan gives Corbin a match with Kane.

Tag Team Turmoil

This is a gauntlet match with the last team standing getting the Tag Team Title shot at TLC. Ascension and the Hype Bros start things off with the Bros getting jumped from behind and beaten down on the floor. Things settle down with Ryder getting beaten down and chopped a lot. A double neckbreaker gets Ryder out of trouble though and it’s a Hype Ryder for the first pin.

Breezango is in next and we take a quick break. Back with Breezango in control and avoiding a Broski Boot. A slingshot elbow puts Ryder away and it’s American Alpha in fourth. Fandango is right on top of Gable as he comes in and Chad is in early trouble. That goes nowhere as Gable rolls Breeze up for a quick elimination. It’s the Vaudevillains in at #5 and they’re out in less than thirty seconds off a German suplex. That leaves the Usos vs. Alpha for the title shot but the twins aren’t thrilled with getting in immediately.

We take an early break and come back with Jordan in trouble. A belly to back suplex gives Jey two and we hit the chinlock for a bit, only to have Jason pop up and make the hot tag. Gable comes in and cleans house with a snap German suplex getting two on Jey. With Jordan still down, Chad gets caught in a backbreaker/top rope knee combo for a near fall. Jason makes a blind tag and the Steiner Bulldog gets two with Jimmy making a save. Jey scores with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees, setting up a small package for two. Grand Amplitude ends Jey at 21:02.

Rating: B-. The first half of this wasn’t much to see but Alpha and the Usos tore the house down. It’s a good idea to give Alpha the title shot as you can only keep them away from the belts for so long. They’re just so far ahead of almost everyone else and only the Usos can really keep up with them. Check out the final fall but the rest is pretty skippable.

The Wyatts pop up on screen to say they’re the final team but won’t face Alpha until next week.

Ellsworth knows he’s in over his head but wants to fight anyway because any man with two feet can climb a ladder. This brings in Ambrose…..who is dressed as a Mountie (not THE Mountie of course). Shane comes back in and freaks out, telling Ambrose to leave again. Dean: “Don’t you want to know why I’m dressed as a Mountie?” Shane leaves before he does something he’ll regret. Bryan actually asks why he’s dressed like that, which Dean says is because he always gets his man. JBL: “A lunatic Rougeau Brother?”

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Alexa is on commentary. They hit the mat to start with Natalya getting the better of it as we take an early break. Back with Natalya in control with an abdominal stretch. It’s almost time for the Sharpshooter but Becky reverses into the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 7:12. Again not enough to rate but it did its job just fine.

Bliss jumps Becky post match.

The Hype Bros shill merchandise.

Miz wants Dolph Ziggler to be suspended but gets a title match against Ziggler at TLC in a ladder match. This is their LAST match.

Nikki Bella accuses Carmella of attacking her at Survivor Series. Carmella suggests that it was Charlotte or Dana Brooke. See, Nikki has made a lot of enemies because she’s not exactly Mother Theresa. There’s going to be an anything goes match at TLC.

Kane vs. Baron Corbin

The masked one goes after him to start but walks into one heck of a right hand to stagger him into the corner. Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes but here’s Kalisto to go after Baron for the DQ at 1:05.

Kane chokeslams Corbin for good measure. Kalisto grabs a chair but Corbin bails before anything can happen. For some reason Corbin charges back in and takes a Van Daminator.

AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth

Non-title ladder match and if AJ wins, Ellsworth is gone for good. If Ellsworth wins, he gets the contract and a future title shot. What Ellsworth, in a neck brace, doesn’t get is an entrance though as AJ comes out after a break. Ellsworth is knocked out to the floor and a kick to the face makes it even worse.

A backbreaker further damages James’ bad back and AJ puts the ladder on top of him. As AJ goes up for the climb, here’s Ambrose in a hockey jersey and helmet to take AJ down. The Phenomenal Forearm drops Dean but Ellsworth shoves the ladder over, sending Styles down to the floor. No Chin Music knocks AJ into the ropes and his boot is tied up in the ropes, allowing Jams to get the contract at 6:00.

Rating: D. This was about the story instead of the match but I’m getting tired of seeing AJ lose to Ellsworth. I know there’s interference and it doesn’t really matter but this is the third time we’ve done this same story and this time the big final shot was Ellsworth on his own. Not a good match of course but this was more of an angle than a match.

JBL does a trademark freak out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like an episode of Raw. The matches were mostly short and featured a ton of interference, though they did set up a bunch of stuff for the pay per view. The good thing is they had most of their stuff set up in advance so this wasn’t the hardest card to throw together. Not a bad show but it didn’t have the Smackdown feel.

Results

Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale

American Alpha won Tag Team Turmoil – Grand Amplitude to Jey

Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her

Baron Corbin b. Kane via DQ when Kalisto interfered

James Ellsworth b. AJ Styles – Ellsworth pulled down the contract

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2002
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before King of the Ring 2002 and we’re officially in the Kurt Angle is Bald era. As big of a change as it was, that would wind up being his signature look for years to come and still is to this day. Tonight we wrap up the first round of the tournament to get us down to the final four so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock’s speech from Monday. You know, the one where he talks about people needing to stick around as he comes back from another movie hiatus.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle with the wig to get things going. He knows people have been laughing at him but this is serious. The reality is…..he’s bald and he’s been wearing a wig. He’s tried everything from Rogaine to hair tonic to fertilizer but nothing has worked. We look back at the wig being ripped off last week and Angle is distraught. Hogan is the real joke around here because he looks like he’s 100 years old and wears red and yellow boas. Angle is very confused by the hand to the ear thing and promises to make Hogan tap on Sunday.

Cue Hogan to say he’ll beat Angle up and threatens the wig. The fight is on with Hogan getting the better of it until Angle bails. I really don’t get the point of keeping the wig on when we’ve already seen the bald head and Angle acknowledges that he’s bald. Just go Olympic on Hogan and put us out of our misery.

Stacy Keibler is checking out her gear for Divas Undressed when Dawn Marie comes up for the usual “Vince wants to sleep with ME” argument. Torrie Wilson comes up and shows off her underwear to annoy them even more. You know what? I kind of prefer them doing it this way instead of pretending it’s anything else. It’s an excuse to have the women in their underwear so just say that’s what they’re going for.

Rikishi vs. Christian

Christian charges into a backdrop to start but gets the big man in trouble with some right hands to the head. So much for racial stereotypes in wrestling. The Unprettier doesn’t work and a pop up cutter (looked more like a flapjack because Rikishi can never get that right) puts Christian away.

Christian’s foot was on the rope during the pin so Lance Storm comes out to complain. The complaining continues post break with Storm saying it’s because Christian is Canadian. As is so often the case, this goes on too long with Storm ranting about how all Americans are prejudiced and all other countries hate America because they’re so smug.

HHH says he’s getting the title back in three days. Gay jokes are made at Billy Gunn’s expense in preparation for their match later tonight. If there’s a reason to care about HHH as a face, it’s going WAY over my head.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are all fired up for Jamie to become Crusierweight Champion on Sunday. Hurricane’s mask is between Nidia’s legs because that’s amusing or something.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Winner gets the title shot on Sunday. I’ll give them a point for having Jamie need a win to become #1 contender instead of just having a newcomer the title shot. A hiptoss sends Kidman outside and Jamie starts in on his arm. Kidman gets in a loud enziguri for a breather but Nidia crotches him on top, setting up an elevated DDT to send Jamie to King of the Ring. I’m already thinking I was wrong on Jamie having to win a match. Was this really necessary if they can’t even have three minutes?

Post match Jamie puts on the mask and cape, drawing out Hurricane for a chokeslam. Hurricane gets the mask back a week after losing it, which is already better than TJ Perkins being asked to lay down so Brian Kendrick can win the title.

Billy vs. HHH

HHH does his full posing so Billy tries a cheap shot. That’s enough selling though so HHH clotheslines him outside and whips Billy into the steps. Back in and a powerslam gives Billy two but instructions to SUCK IT are just too far for HHH, who grabs a neckbreaker. Chuck offers a distraction and Rico gets in a spinning kick to the face….which is followed by a Pedigree to end Billy without much effort.

Rating: D. Just in case the Rikishi/Rico title reign wasn’t enough to crush the titles all over again, this was another great example of how bad the Tag Team Titles are doing at the moment. HHH might as well have been fighting any given jobber here as he shrugged off a triple team attack and won in less than five minutes. What a great use of champions, especially when the titles on Raw are already so worthless.

Kurt comes in and is quickly dispatched, followed by Undertaker coming in to get HHH in trouble. Angle hits Undertaker with a chair by mistake though, which is finally enough to end this segment.

Vince and Stacy talk about the pay per view when Undertaker storms in and demands a match with Angle tonight.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Chris Jericho vs. Big Valbowski

Venis gets jumped to start but comes back with some jobber offense. That just earns him a sleeper drop for two but Jericho’s dropkick is countered into a catapult into the corner. A spinebuster gets a cold two and the referee gets bumped because Val Venis vs. Chris Jericho needs a ref bump. Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets no count but the Blue Thunder Bomb gets a close two. The Walls send Jericho on to King of the Ring a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was better but the same problem that held back the previous match back was present here: there was almost no doubt as to who was winning. Was anyone going to buy Venis as a real threat to take out Jericho? At least they had a few more minutes to work with here and the match was able to go somewhere as a result.

Here’s Rock whole speech from Monday.

Test and Hardcore Holly trash talk.

Vince and Stacy talk Angle into fight Undertaker by having him pretend Undertaker is Hogan.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Test vs. Hardcore Holly

And they wonder why the crowd isn’t interested. A powerslam gives Holly an early near fall but he gets whipped hard into the corner. The full nelson slam is countered into a sloppy rollup for two on Test but a pumphandle slam gets the same on Holly. Back up and the big boot gives Test a shot at Lesnar on Sunday.

Rating: D. This is a good example of why this era is pretty forgotten. Was Test vs. Holly the best they could come up with? If you have to push Test through to the next round (fine enough as another Lesnar victim), wasn’t there ANYONE other that Holly to put him over? The problem: I’m really not sure there is someone else at the moment, which is why they really need to build the roster up in a hurry.

Test says he’ll win because the next big thing is getting the next big boot.

Here are the final four:

Rob Van Dam

Chris Jericho

Test

Brock Lesnar

Vince has Fit Finlay and Johnny Ace get Undertaker and Angle to try to calm things down. Stacy is sent to the hotel, but not before Vince kisses her awkwardly.

Jericho is ready for Rob Van Dam.

We run down Sunday’s card and my goodness this looks horrible.

Vince tells Undertaker and Angle to have a good, clean competition. He demands a handshake but Undertaker doesn’t want to shake the hand of someone who threatened to break his ankle. That’s a fair point actually. A brawl breaks out and Vince gets crushed, putting him on Undertaker’s side.

Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and Angle grabs a chair before Undertaker comes to the ring. The chair goes nowhere so an early ankle lock sends Undertaker crawling to the ropes. Angle unhooks a turnbuckle pad but of course it’s not that simple. The straps are already down because they don’t have time to do the full formula. A clothesline breaks up the Angle Slam and Kurt is sent back first into the exposed buckle.

Kurt goes face first into the post but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock. The hold stays on for over a full minute until Undertaker FINALLY rolls forward for the break. The ankle is fine enough for a chokeslam but here’s HHH for a distraction so Angle can grab a rollup for the pin. Here’s the bigger problem than the minute long ankle lock: the pop that Test got for pinning Holly was far bigger than the one Angle just got for pinning the World Champion.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen two of the best of all time have such a worthless match. That ankle lock was horrible and the ending made things even worse. How does this make me want to see either of the two big matches at the pay per view? Undertaker gets pinned and Angle’s finisher can’t beat anyone despite staying on for over a minute. That’s their marketing plan? Really?

Post match HHH beats up Undertaker but here’s Hogan to put Angle in an ankle lock. I’ve never seen him work a decent armbar but he’s making Angle tap to an ankle lock. Undertaker gives Hogan a chokeslam, only to walk into a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show is in need of a BIG refresh because it’s getting worse and worse. There’s almost no good wrestling as they have to fly through everything, though I can’t figure out what they spent the extra time on. Maybe all the Undertaker and Angle backstage segments or the vignettes hyping up a lingerie show? Either way, this show is downright horrible lately and King of the Ring is looking like a potential disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: November 15, 2016
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

It’s the 900^th episode and also the final show before Sunday’s Survivor Series. That means there’s a lot of potential for hijinks and shenanigans tonight, which could mean for a very entertaining show. If nothing else maybe they can do something other than having wacky partners who can’t get along four times in one night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick montage of great Smackdown moments before previewing tonight’s show. It’s always cool to see the older days and WWE knows how to pull those things off very well.

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon come out and welcome us to the show, mainly focusing on the big events before introducing the first match.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is challenging and the winner gets to defend against Sami Zayn on Sunday. After the Big Match Intros, Mauro starts in with the standard talking points about how awesome the Intercontinental Title is. Miz gets him to the ground to start but can’t hit either finisher before we take an early break.

Back with both guys down before Miz hits the Reality Check for two. It’s time to start in on the knees until Miz gets sent leg first into the buckle to give the champ a breather. The big elbow gets two for Ziggler and he grabs the sleeper, sending Miz straight to the ropes. The Fameasser (without much contact of course) gets two for Ziggler and we take a second break.

We come back again with Miz mocking Bryan’s YES pose before starting with the YES Kicks. A running knee to the face sets up the Skull Crushing Finale with Mauro falling victim to the “WELL THAT HAS TO BE IT” syndrome, guaranteeing that Ziggler kicks out at two. The Zig Zag gets the same result for the champ (because WWE doesn’t know many ways to do big matches) but here’s the Spirit Squad for the distraction to set up the Figure Four. Ziggler makes the ropes and grabs a small package, only to have Maryse shove it over so Miz can get the title back at 17:53.

Rating: B. This wasn’t quite as good as the No Mercy match but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining. I’m a bit sick of the Spirit Squad interfering every single time as they really don’t have much else to do with Ziggler at this point. The same finish could have been done without them but I’ve seen worse ideas. At least Miz won and should be able to have a better match as a result.

We look back at the end of last night’s show.

Clip of Steve Austin destroying the DX Express back in 2000.

Alexa Bliss presents her case for a rematch against Becky Lynch to Bryan, who gives it to her but won’t give her a date. Cue Natalya with that freaking whistle but her inspirational message sends Bliss storming off.

Kalisto vs. Oney Lorcan

Lorcan is from NXT and goes right after Kalisto with a knee to the head. A suplex gets two as JBL tries to convince us that Lorcan is similar to Brian Kendrick. The Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto the pin at 1:14.

Undertaker picks up his hat.

Clip of Rock vs. HHH from the first episode.

Quick montage of Rock’s appearances on Smackdown.

The Smackdown tag team Survivor Series team is ready for Sunday. Heath Slater and Rhyno have brought in a motivational speaker: KING BOOKAH! Before he can read a proclamation, Breezango comes in to give Booker a ticket for his fashion sense. This turns him into Booker T. to yell at Breezango and hit the catchphrase. An ALL HAIL KING BOOKER chant breaks out. This was perfect for a quick cameo.

Clip of John Cena debuting against Kurt Angle in 2002.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

Feeling out process to start with Carmella doing You Can’t See Me. A snap suplex puts Carmella down and Nikki mostly botches a dropkick which barely grazes Carmella in the ribs. Carmella comes right back by slamming Nikki neck first onto the floor before ramming her face in for good measure.

Back in and Carmella grabs a chinlock, which actually makes sense for once. We hit the hair pulling but Carmella stops to dance for no apparent reason. The Bronco Buster misses….and here’s Charlotte through the crowd to have a seat as we take a break. Back with a Disaster Kick sending Carmella outside and the big shout off between Bella and Charlotte. The brawl is on and it’s a no contest at 11:34.

Rating: C. I really don’t know why Nikki vs. Charlotte is supposed to be some big deal when we saw it about a year ago and it wasn’t anything special. I know Nikki is the star of the Smackdown women’s division but at least give us something a little more fresh. Either that or just put the title on Nikki already so we can hear how inspiring it is.

Team Raw comes in for the beatdown (including Bayley, which is pretty out of character for her) and Carmella joins in. Team Smackdown runs out for the save with Carmella celebrating with them, which is just stupid on all counts.

Renee Young previews Goldberg vs. Lesnar, which means she introduces a video package on the match.

Headbangers/Ascension/Spirit Squad/Vaudevillains vs. Usos/Hype Bros/Breezango/American Alpha

The official Smackdown team take turns on Mikey to start but Jimmy tags himself in, much to Jordan’s annoyance. Gotch comes in and gets the same treatment as the fans want Slater. Well they have him, albeit on the floor as extra support. Rawley, in Zubaz pants, gets two off a running seated senton and it’s off to Ryder vs. Viktor. Everyone heads to the floor and we take a break during the big shouting match.

Back with Ryder fighting out of the corner and making the hot tag off to Gable for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down with one team coming in to take out the next until only the Usos are left for a big double dive to take out about ten people. A slightly botched Grand Amplitude ends Thrasher at 10:40.

Rating: D+. There’s only so much you can do in a match like this where no one is going to get any significant time and the whole thing is going to be a mess. It was fun enough though and they were smart to leave this at four teams each instead of adding the extra four people. Sunday’s version should be fun with a little more drama and a chance for people to shine a bit more.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with the Smackdown team as special guests. Edge’s hair has grown out a bit and he has a good sized beard, making him look a bit like Mick Foley. After a break, Edge talks about bleeding blue and brings out the team as a group. Edge shakes Ellsworth’s hand because James has been such an inspiration for him. Ellsworth is stunned but manages to ask for a Five Second Pose. That’s not cool with the champ though because it should be him getting the attention instead of James.

Instead, Edge asks Orton what’s up with joining the Wyatt Family. Bray says the Randy that Edge once knew is dead because this Sunday, the world will see a more dangerous viper. Shane takes the mic and says they only have to get along for one night but AJ starts ripping into Ambrose. This turns into a promo for TLC but here’s Undertaker to cut them off.

Undertaker actually praises Shane and tips his hat to him before saying he’s here for two reasons. Wrestlemania will no longer define who he is because he’s back to take souls and dig holes. Survivor Series was where he was born and Smackdown has always been his home. He says there’s no reason for Smackdown to fail but if they do, they’ll have reason to fear the Deadman. Raw will Rest in Peace….and that’s it.

Overall Rating: C. Undertaker’s speech is continuing on the Network right? I mean, he came out and praised the Smackdown team and that’s about it. That’s really not something you would expect Undertaker to do and it felt out of place for him. At least Shane gets to stay on the team though and that’s what matters for some reason.

This show wasn’t great but it’s miles ahead of Raw. Above all else it actually mixed things up a little bit and didn’t drag all night long. They even made a new match for Sunday and built on some stuff that wasn’t just about the three matches. Character logic issues aside, this was a perfectly fine go home show and that’s all it needed to be.

As for a big anniversary show…..yeah this was fine. They aired a few clips and then cut them off in the middle, as is so often the case with WWE. Booker’s cameo was fine and it made sense to have Edge and Undertaker show up at the end as they were the biggest Smackdown exclusive stars. They were kind of handcuffed with a major pay per view to set up and that’s understandable.

Results

Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Small package

Kalisto b. Oney Lorcan – Salida Del Sol

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella went to a no contest when Nikki started brawling with Charlotte

Usos/Hype Bros/American Alpha/Breezango b. Headbangers/Ascension/Vaudevillains/Spirit Squad – Grand Amplitude to Thrasher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 13, 2002
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from King of the Ring and it’s really not looking like the most interesting thing in the world. Granted you could say that about almost any show around this point but this one is looking even worse. Smackdown no longer has its own owner so things are changing all over again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the big angle from Monday.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going, flanked by a bunch of security guards and with a table and chairs set up in the ring. Vince stands on top of the table and goes on a rant about how he put everything on the line and how powerful people only get more powerful. That’s why we’re going to entertain you tonight, starting with a CONTRACT SIGNING!

The boss brings out Undertaker and HHH for the very slow paced staredown. Undertaker signs, HHH throws out a chair and then signs, Vince talks and it’s a ratings bonanza! Security grabs HHH and the beatdown is on until HHH pulls out a well placed sledgehammer. HHH says he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Undertaker. A security guard gets beaten down and it’s time for a break. Back with HHH still in the ring as Billy, Chuck and Rico are standing on the ramp with the champs holding chairs. Threats of sucking on a sledgehammer ensue and Billy gets laid out.

With that not getting HHH anywhere, HHH he on the announcers’ table until the hammer actually breaks. Naturally there’s another hammer waiting but that can’t break the table either so HHH just kicks the thing over. Now it’s a monitor being destroyed, followed by a camera. Vince FINALLY comes out and makes HHH/Hogan vs. Undertaker/Angle for later. We’re over a fourth of the way through this show and they’ve only set up the main event. Oh and HHH beat up a Tag Team Champion. The camera gets destroyed too.

Back from a break with….replays!

Earlier today, Nidia made fun of Hurricane so he suggested she use her oral skills to tell Jamie Noble to come find him. A challenge is issued so Nidia licks his face. She’s no Catrina.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Test vs. Hurricane

Non-title of course. Test no sells some right hands to start and we can see the announcers’ table still on its side. Is HHH going to come back out here and hit them with his hammer if someone tips it back over? Hurricane avoids a charge in the corner but his crossbody is pulled out of the air. The chokeslam is broken up but a quick Eye of the Hurricane gets two on Test. And never mind as the Test Drive gets rid of Hurricane clean in less than two minutes. That would be two champions taken out in less than forty minutes.

Nidia and Noble come out and take off Hurricane’s mask.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Hardcore Holly

The table has been turned back over. You can stop panicking. Tazz picks Holly to win the whole tournament while Cole, who isn’t quite as stupid, picks Chris Jericho. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including the big spinning version for two. A powerslam gives Holly the same To change things up a bit, Tajiri kicks him in the head again for two more, followed by an Alabama Slam to give Holly the pin.

Rating: D. To be fair this was just to get to the final eight so Holly advancing isn’t the worst thing in the world. They kept it short but this was about three and a half minutes of them trading moves until one of them got pinned. Maybe they don’t quite have enough room on the roster for sixteen people but then we couldn’t have qualifying matches and those are interesting. Not as interesting as a thirty minute contract signing segment but you have to take what you can get.

Val Venis and Jericho trash talk each other.

GET THE F OUT! BARBERSHOP VERSION!

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm vs. Val Venis/Billy Kidman

Val runs Jericho over with a shoulder to start and a neckbreaker gets two. Kidman comes in with a bad looking high crossbody, though it could be due to Kidman’s trunks being about three sizes too small. The former Sudden Impact starts taking over on Kidman with Storm hitting a dropkick before Jericho misses a charge in the corner.

That’s enough for the tag off to Val as everything breaks down. The good guys mess up a spot with Kidman being launched into a dropkick (or maybe a hurricanrana), leaving him a little short and only kicking Storm in the chest with one foot. Val and Jericho go outside so Kidman can hit the shooting star. Jericho pulls the referee though and drops Kidman, only to have Billy roll Storm up for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. I can always go for moving a cruiserweight up the ladder a little bit and Kidman is more than good enough to make that jump. Now I have no faith in WWE to not screw this up all over again as that’s certainly their custom, but at least he got a win here and it’s a win he could build on rather than one over Jericho where he would get beaten in their singles rematch.

Replays show Storm’s shoulder was up. So much for Kidman looking good.

Hogan doesn’t think much about Angle for attacking him last week after the big match with HHH (that one that didn’t even last seven minutes). See, Hogan and Angle are a lot alike. They’re both American icons, they both love the red, white and blue, they’re both former champions and they’re both bald. The only difference is Hogan lost his hair battle to mother nature. Hogan wants a fight with Angle at some point in the future and can’t wait to face him in the main event tonight.

Storm yells at Brian Hebner for screwing up and thinks it’s typical American behavior, especially from this family. To be fair, they haven’t done anything with Montreal in what, ten minutes at this point?

We look at Jackie Gayda costing Linda Miles her debut match on Velocity.

Linda has found a partner to help her fight Jackie and Ivory: Trish.

Vince is on the phone and says the camera cost $50,000. Angle comes in and accepts Hogan’s challenge for King of the Ring but can’t stand the idea that Hogan thinks he’s bald. Undertaker comes in but Vince tells him tonight is a calculated risk.

D-Von comes out, calls…..shall we say self pleasuring a sin and says he doesn’t do that anymore. Faarooq comes out and says he still does.

Faarooq vs. Reverend D-Von

Spinebuster ends D-Von in seven seconds.

Batista hits D-Von in the head with the collection box by mistake. This whole thing took about three minutes, which is likely due to the opening segment taking up a fourth of the show. That might not be the worst thing in the world.

Trish Stratus/Linda vs. Ivory/Jackie Gayda

Thankfully the veterans start things off with Ivory taking over, allowing Jackie to hit Trish in the face with a knee brace. It’s off to Linda for a slam and dropkick with Ivory making the save. A double flapjack plants Linda again but the Stratusphere sets up Stratusfaction for the pin on Ivory. It’s good that they kept this short for obvious reasons. I’d be rather annoyed if I paid for this show and had to sit through a pair of rookies having a horrible match because of some reality show.

Stacy, looking GREAT tonight, hits on Vince for becoming boss again. Vince kisses her and Stacy looks disgusted. Dawn Marie knocking at the door was ignored.

For the first time we see the brackets for the King of the Ring.

X-Pac

Rob Van Dam

Val Venis

Chris Jericho

Test

Hardcore Holly

Booker T.

Brock Lesnar

Angle and Undertaker attack Hogan.

Hulk Hogan/HHH vs. Undertaker/Kurt Angle

HHH runs out and blasts Angle during the entrances so it’s the HHH vs. Undertaker slugout to start. Angle gets back in and the double teaming has HHH in trouble as we get down to the regular tag structure. The champ is happy with letting Angle do most of the work and get in a cheap shot here and there. A right hand puts Taker down but that’s enough of a distraction to start the rolling German suplexes.

Cole thinks HHH might be thrown off by fighting two men at the same time. This would be your “Gee willikers Cole, you think so?” moment of the night. Undertaker comes in for some slow right hands before it’s back to Angle for a sleeper. A double clothesline drops Taker and HHH, followed by Angle going shoulder first into the post. HHH is able to send Kurt into the steps but grabs the sledgehammer to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. It’s hard to imagine that this took place for any reason other than “Hogan can’t be trusted for more than one match every few weeks”. The wrestling here was way too slow paced to work and I was very bored for the most part. HHH vs. Undertaker is looking horrible for a main event and Angle is going to need a miracle to make Hogan look passable.

The beatdown continues post match with HHH being left laying, only to have Hogan run out and attack Angle. HHH gets back up and the wig is ripped off. A lot of posing ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know Raw gets all the criticism but this show was a trainwreck. It was half an hour of waiting around until we get to the end of the first segment (with the Tag Team Champions being treated as cannon fodder) and then a bunch of short matches, including a seven second “match” which didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. Things can get better but the main event is just killing this promotion right now.

Oh and as a bonus, here are the final four segments from a house show the Sunday before this show:

Billy and Chuck vs. Rikishi/Tazz

Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis

Swimsuit contestant

Hardcore Holly vs. Kurt Angle (Holly won)

Venis is probably a substitute for Edge but I have no idea where HHH was, as he and Angle main evented a house show the next night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I apologize for the delay but my internet was out for a few hours during the middle of the show.

Smackdown
Date: November 8, 2016
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

It’s another night in the same building as Smackdown is in Scotland. Tonight actually has a major match announced as Becky Lynch will be defending the Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss in a match that was scheduled for No Mercy but was postponed due to an injury. Other than that we’re likely going to see more announced for Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ Styles to open things up. AJ isn’t in a good mood tonight and doesn’t want to hear the booing or see the tweets. He wants to talk about last week’s travesty, which saw that mutant turtle James Ellsworth cost him a match against Dean Ambrose. If Ambrose wanted to be champion again so badly, he never would have lost his title in the first place. That brings AJ to Survivor Series, where he doesn’t need Dean’s help to win.

AJ wants to bring the Survivor Series team down but Baron Corbin interrupts. Baron says he’ll deliver, but not to AJ’s team. Cue the Wyatts, which now includes Randy Orton. Before anything can happen, here’s Dean to bring out James Ellsworth (JBL: “HOW DID YOU GET THAT THING THROUGH CUSTOMS???”), who AJ wants thrown in Loch Ness. Styles suggests that Dean and Ellsworth are outnumbered but Corbin walks out.

Cue Shane (who I wasn’t sure was still alive) to talk to team blue. He wants to see the best in the world beat Raw and thinks it’s going to be a clean sweep. Ellsworth has an idea: he can be the official mascot! Shane agrees and a six man tag is made for later tonight with the Wyatts vs. Ambrose/Corbin/Ellsworth.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Breezango vs. Vaudevillains

Breezango are dressed as cops for no apparent reason. Gotch immediately gives Breeze a Regal Roll and the Swanton gives English two. Everything breaks down and Fandango gives English a falcon’s arrow for the pin at 1:23. That was quick.

Natalya vs. Naomi

Coach Natalya now has a whistle. Nikki Bella is on commentary and Naomi is very yellow. Natalya takes her down to start before walking into a sitout jawbreaker. There’s a double crossbody to put both women down but cue Carmella to talk some trash. Natalya busts out her whistle to try and restore order but it just lets Nikki forearm Carmella. The distraction lets Naomi grab a small package for the pin at 2:02.

Corbin has walked out of the six man tag (assuming he was ever officially announced in the first place as it wasn’t clear) but will face Kalisto tonight.

Ellsworth gets on Dean’s nerves until Daniel Bryan comes up. Daniel has a replacement partner for them and it’s…..Kane. Ellsworth: “So….what’s the strategy tonight?” Kane: “Don’t. Tag. In.”

Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto

We actually get a flashback to their feud from three months ago that never went anywhere. Corbin jumps him before the bell and lays Kalisto out. Kalisto is sent outside but Baron slips off the apron and messes up his knee. With Corbin begging off, Kalisto dropkicks the bad knee into the steps. Corbin is in agony as referees come out to check on him. Kalisto even adds a frog splash to the bad leg. No match.

Video on Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch.

Baron Corbin is officially off the Smackdown team due to the knee injury.

So at this point in the show my cable went out and didn’t come back on until right before the end of Crews vs. Hawkins. I saw the rest later but there was a big gap in the middle.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

Becky is defending and this is billed as the main event, halfway through the show. A lockup goes nowhere to start and the Disarm-Her sends Alexa bailing to the ropes. They trade some rollups for two each before a dropkick sends Alexa into the corner. That goes badly for the champ though as she misses a charge into the post and it’s off to the armbar. More armbarring is countered into a sitout powerbomb to put both women down as we take a break.

Back with Becky starting a comeback and getting two off a Bex Plex. Bliss avoids a guillotine legdrop though and hits a backflip into double knees to the ribs. The champ pops back up and crotches Alexa on top, only to get shoved right back down. They trade rollups but the Disarm-Her goes on to make Bliss tap at 14:50…..with Alexa’s foot on the ropes.

Rating: C+. This was more long than good but it also keeps them set up for another title match down the line. Becky is a good option as the first champion and they made Alexa feel like a bigger deal as she won a lot of matches coming up to this title shot. The match itself was just kind of there though with the basic arm work but the big fight feel helped a lot.

Bryan promises Shane to have a replacement chosen tonight. Miz and Maryse come in to set up some exposition. In exchange for Sami Zayn getting an Intercontinental Title shot, Brian Kendrick will be defending the Cruiserweight Title against Kalisto, and if he wins the cruiserweights come to Smackdown. As a bonus, Miz gets an Intercontinental Title shot next week.

Curt Hawkins vs. Apollo Crews

Hawkins starts fast with a jumping knee to the face and we’re in the chinlock about forty seconds into the match. Crews throws him down again though and goes up top, only to miss a high crossbody. An Oklahoma roll gives Hawkins the pin at 1:50.

Dolph Ziggler can’t wait to defend the Intercontinental Title against the Miz next week on the way to facing Sami Zayn at Survivor Series.

Wyatt Family vs. James Ellsworth/Kane/Dean Ambrose

AJ is on commentary, giving us a FIVE PERSON BOOTH. My goodness people, think this nonsense through. Kane and Harper do the big power showdown to start with a backdrop sending Harper flying. It’s off to Dean vs. Bray with the latter running him over with a shoulder. Orton comes in and runs Dean over before stomping on the fingers. A side slam from Kane has Orton in trouble and the fans want Ellsworth.

That just earns James a throat slit, followed by Orton breaking up a chokeslam attempt on Luke. We hit the stomping for a bit before Bray nails the backsplash for two. The stomping continues and we take a break. Back with the Ellsworth chants continuing, only to have Harper cut them off by dropkicking Kane. Orton grabs a headlock followed by a dropkick but Harper gets DDT’d.

The hot tag brings in Ambrose to clothesline Wyatt, only to have the top rope elbow knocked out of the air. Sister Abigail is broken countered into a rollup for two and there go Kane and Harper to the back. A double clothesline puts both guys down so Ellsworth tags himself in. No Chin Music is loaded up (JBL: “Shawn Michaels is rolling over in his grave and he’s not even dead!”) but Bray easily reverses into Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:55.

Rating: C-. The ending helped this a lot as there was no reason for it to be anything other than Ellsworth getting run over. It’s similar to the old Dungeon of Doom matches where the opponents had to keep the Giant out of the ring because he was going to destroy anyone who got in the ring with him. This was all that made sense and that’s fine for what they had here.

The Wyatts swarm Ellsworth but Shane runs out for the save. Before anything else can happen, Daniel comes out and says he can name anyone he wants to the Survivor Series team. Therefore, he picks……Shane. Well of course he does because Heaven forbid a McMahon isn’t involved so we can have it be about the wrestlers. This is nothing more than a way to have Shane vs. Stephanie, which is what this whole mess is all about in the first place. This actually ticks me off and that doesn’t happen often on Smackdown.

Overall Rating: C+. This was fine, albeit a little forgettable. The bigger matches worked fine but I can’t get over Shane getting the final spot on the team. Unless that gets changed, that’s one heck of a stupid way to go for the sake of a surprise or whatever they’re going for. I’m sick of the McMahons and all of the forced drama, but they’re the stars of the show and that’s all that matters.

Results

Breezango b. Vaudevillains – Falcon’s arrow to English

Naomi b. Natalya – Small package

Becky Lynch b. Alexa Bliss – Disarm-Her

Curt Hawkins b. Apollo Crews – Oklahoma roll

Wyatt Family b. James Ellsworth/Kane/Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail to Ellsworth

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re two and a half weeks away from King of the Ring and it looks like we’re coming up on Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle and HHH challenging the Undertaker for the WWE World Title. Neither of those are exactly interesting but I’ll take it over Hogan being in the main event again. We also get to find out where Edge goes from here after getting a pretty decisive win in his feud with Kurt. Let’s get to it.

Most of the roster is in the ring. Vince comes out and says the winner gets a title shot at King of the Ring. Just in case the next challenger wasn’t clear when Undertaker beat HHH up last week. This is another segment that didn’t need to air. Just have the ring announcer say this is for a title shot and then the announcers can repeat it. Vince: “The battle royal begins NOW!” So they’re not waiting until later and bringing everyone back out?

Battle Royal

D-Von, Lance Storm, Test, Val Venis, Albert, Faarooq, Kidman, Randy Orton, Hardcore Holly, Chavo Guerrero, Christian, Hurricane, Godfather, Al Snow, Mark Henry, HHH, Hulk Hogan, Chris Jericho, Hugh Morrus, Kurt Angle

Godfather, in his final match with the company, and Faarooq are thrown out early on to clear some space. D-Von follows them out and that’s got to be racist somehow. Test gets rid of Kidman to avoid an Affirmative Action issue and Christian throws Venis out. Christian is eliminated, followed by HHH being thrown through the ropes for a double beating by Test and Storm, neither of whom have been eliminated either.

Orton and Jericho go out next with Henry eliminating Storm and Chavo a few seconds later. A chokeslam to Angle is quickly countered and there go Hurricane and Hugh Morrus. Angle stays hot by getting rid of Albert and throwing Holly through the ropes. Henry is tossed as well and we’re down to Holly, Test, Angle, Jericho, HHH and Hogan. HHH knees Angle in the face and Holly actually throws Kurt out. So Holly is the latest veteran getting a push? Maybe, but he certainly does get a big boot from Test to get us down to four.

The evil Canadians double team our resident superheroes for all of five seconds before Jericho and Test are thrown out, leaving us with the big showdown. We get the staredown and Hogan rips off the shirt. Wouldn’t HHH benefit from kicking him while his arms are busy? Instead HHH hits a Cactus Clothesline and we’ve got two winners.

Rating: D-. This was bad even by battle royal standards with little doubt about who was winning. Why Hogan is still anywhere near the main event scene is beyond me as this run has been one of the biggest disasters in a long time. I get why they wouldn’t want to announce Hogan vs. HHH all over again but was there no better way to do this?

Post break Vince comes on screen to say he’s called Undertaker, who doesn’t care who he faces at King of the Ring. Therefore, there’s going to be a regular #1 contenders match later tonight, making that whole battle royal entirely pointless.

Angle thinks it’s Screw Kurt Angle Month and wants to fight Holly tonight. I get the idea of elevating people, but they’re elevating the same characters who have been around for years. Val Venis is still Val Venis, Test is still Test and Hardcore Holly is still Hardcore Holly. You can’t just throw these same tired acts out there and expect it to go anywhere. At least Storm has only been around for about a year and is still relatively fresh, but almost everyone else feels like a lost cause.

Billy and Chuck are annoyed at Rico for losing the titles. Rico comes in and says they’ve let themselves go, including Billy having a pimple on his cheek. Yes that cheek, which we get to see due to reasons of comedy.

Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Rico vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are challenging and this is under elimination rules for no apparent reason. Rico and Chuck get things started and a wristlock makes Rico tap in five seconds. Tazz: “Looks like Rico has a limp wrist.” Cole thinks Rico did that on purpose. Rikishi cleans house on his own because the Brand Split has turned Rikishi into some kind of juggernaut who can beat up former Tag Team Champions. A Samoan drop gets rid of Billy so we’re down to Rikishi vs. Chuck for the Tag Team Titles in about two minutes.

The eliminated Billy sends Rikishi into the steps as Rico removes a turnbuckle pad. Something resembling Snake Eyes sends Rikishi into the buckle for two more. Billy’s interference fails so Rico kicks Rikishi in the face, setting up a superkick from Chuck to give Billy and Chuck the titles back, despite Rikishi’s foot being on the ropes.

Rating: F. I’m really not sure if this was an upgrade or another step down. To recap the last two weeks: Rico was thrown into this story by Vince (never involved again), won the Tag Team Titles, failed to screw his partner (and himself) over and then succeeded in screwing him over to give the titles back to Billy and Chuck. This story served no purpose other than to waste the teams’ time and devalue the titles without even offering any comedy. Oh and Rikishi is now a big deal for some reason.

I know the Dudleyz and the Hardyz are stale but they’re WAY better than this. Does Billy and Chuck vs. Matt and Jeff sound worse than this mess? Is there any reason why the titles aren’t on both shows? Raw doesn’t exactly have a ton of tag teams either but at least it opens up some more options. Do something with these things because they’re horrible right now.

Hurricane finds a note in catering saying whoever is leaving these notes is in his locker room. Wait…..wouldn’t he have JUST BEEN THERE? When was that note placed? Back from a break and Hurricane finds Nidia in his locker room. Apparently they hooked up once but Hurricane says it’s over. Cue Jamie Noble to jump him from behind because he’s with Nidia now. So there’s your next Cruiserweight Title feud and another vindictive woman because that’s one of the two ways WWE books women: vindictive or sleeping with anyone who can get them ahead.

Also, what was the point of the notes? The picture Nidia was cropped out of last week looked like any standard photo of a wrestler posing with a fan but it was supposed to be some relationship? Ok, fine, but what was gained by teasing notes if it was just “oh hi Hurricane, I’m Nidia. Remember when we used to sleep together, which doesn’t seem to cause any major issues?”? The division has all of four people at the moment. It’s ok to just introduce someone as a new challenger.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Christian vs. Big Valbowski

If officially renaming Val by one of his own nicknames is the best they can do for a repackaging, they’re in a lot of trouble. Christian jumps him at the bell (that’s getting way too common) and gets two off a suplex. Val comes back with a spinebuster and a reverse figure four of all things. He might not be the most interesting person in the ring but Val always seemed like he was trying and new holds like that are a reason why. The Unprettier is countered into the Blue Thunder Bomb to give Venis the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much here but I was always a bit of a Val fan. Neither is exactly an interesting option but Christian is much higher up on the totem pole than Venis. Like I said earlier: they’re trying to move some people up the roster but fans are going to see Val Venis and roll their eyes.

Linda and Jackie (the Tough Enough winners) come in to introduce themselves to Vince. The boss is of course impressed but here’s Ivory to yell about respect and etiquette. Vince makes a match….for Velocity. Their big draws so far have been a lingerie match and now this. And people wonder why Velocity never went anywhere.

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly ducks a right hand to start and scores with a hot shot. A sleeper slows Holly down and Cole calls Holly the toughest man in WWE today. Ok then. Holly reverses into a sleeper of his own which is reversed into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and a powerslam give Hardcore two.

Things are picking up a bit so Angle picks Holly up off the top turnbuckle for the running belly to belly superplex. Holly comes right back with a powerbomb but the Alabama Slam is countered into an ankle lock. There’s no tap since Holly is tough so Angle rolls him up, while grabbing the rope, for the pin instead.

Rating: C+. Actually good here, which is the case for most of these veterans receiving renewed pushes. They’re certainly better than stuff like Tommy Dreamer’s vomit over on Raw but they’re not exactly interesting. That being said, I’ll definitely take veterans having watchable matches over gross out humor every single day.

Holly hits the Alabama Slam but can’t get the wig off as Kurt hits him low. Angle grabs a chair but gets it knocked into his own head. Why Holly doesn’t go for the wig again now that Angle is knocked out isn’t clear.

Torrie Wilson visits Maven in the hospital (broken leg) and a banana is involved. Maven tells the nurse he’s very elevated. The nurse (one of the worst actresses I’ve seen since Nidia) leaves and Torrie takes off her top. We cut to Tajiri at the nurse’s desk, trying to find Maven’s room. For some reason Tajiri grabs his side like he’s having an appendicitis but stands up and goes to Maven’s room.

We look back at the end of the battle royal and the announcers argue over Hogan vs. HHH.

Tajiri is now posing as a doctor and gets called away for an emergency. Shouldn’t the orderlies realize he’s an impostor? Also have we gotten an explanation for why this story is continuing if Maven is supposed to have a broken leg?

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

And never mind as Edge has a shoulder injury from the cage match and can’t compete. He has to be out for awhile but he’s always willing to take the risk. When he comes back, his only goal is to win the Undisputed Title. He can’t wrestle tonight though, meaning Jericho advances. Jericho jumps him anyway and the beating is on until Venis makes the save.

Stacy Keibler and Dawn Marie get all catty over who gets Vince. I wonder who wrote this one.

Storm tells Kidman that the office thinks Kidman is boring but Kidman gets in a jab at Storm’s haircut.

Maven is all smiley as Torrie stands next to him. Cue Tajiri to mist her and kick him in the knee. So the medical emergency went nowhere and served to waste even more time on a show full of wasted time.

Lance Storm vs. Billy Kidman

Billy tries to fly early on but gets dropkicked off the top for his efforts. A springboard clothesline gives Storm two and a hard DDT is good for the same. The half crab is broken up but Storm crotches him to avoid the shooting star. Lance superkicks him for the pin to end this entertaining filler.

HHH doesn’t have anything to say about Undertaker beating him up or having to face Hogan.

We look back at Jericho attacking Edge.

Hulk Hogan vs. HHH

Hogan starts with his variety of clotheslines and punches, one of which sends HHH outside onto his bad elbow. What doesn’t kill HHH (which is nothing) makes him stronger though and he sends Hogan into the post to take over. Back in and we hit the sleeper on Hogan with the announcers asking how much damage that does to the elbow.

The answer seems to be “not much” as the hold stays on until we get two arm drops and a finger wave. It’s Hulk Up time with the big boot setting up a missed legdrop. The Pedigree is countered and the legdrop gets two. Hogan is shocked at the near fall and gets Pedigreed for the clean pin in less than seven minutes.

Rating: D. Well ok then. This could have been HHH vs. almost anyone but it happened to be the fastest clean job Hogan has ever done (I can’t imagine he’s ever done one faster and there aren’t many to pick from in the first place). HHH vs. Undertaker was obvious and I’d prefer they use Hogan for this instead of some up and coming name as there’s not much of a rub to be gotten from a short match with HHH going over clean.

Hogan shakes HHH’s hand but Angle and Undertaker (who Vince had been calling “at home” all night) come in for the beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a weird one as it’s very clear that Smackdown is suffering from a weak roster. There’s way too much down time and a lot of what they have comes off like filler. I get the idea of pushing the older veterans and I’ll take that over throwing out disasters which have no chance of going anywhere. It’s not a horrible show by any stretch but they’re really in need of some fresh talent around here. The big goal should be to develop some fresh talent and if that means sacrificing the Torrie loves Maven and Dawn and Stacy love Vince segments, so be it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: November 1, 2016
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

Survivor Series is coming up soon and Raw has announced a lot of the participants on its teams for the promotion vs. promotion matches. As luck would have it, tonight we’ll be getting most of the announcements for the Smackdown counterparts with the help of General Manager Daniel Bryan. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s James Ellsworth to tell us goodbye. He hasn’t been able to eat and sleep since he cost Dean Ambrose that match last week. Dean comes out and calls Ellsworth his pal, whose head he’s been thinking about ripping off. James begs for a chance to apologize and mentions beating AJ twice but Dean just tells him to stay out of his way from now on.

Cue AJ to say he was going to take it easy on Ellsworth but Dean kept convincing him to do more. Dean says Ellsworth doesn’t take the cheap way out like AJ, which means Ellsworth has to break up a fight. AJ shoves Ellsworth into Dean and kicks Ambrose in the head. The Phenomenal Forearm leaves Dean laying.

We look back at Randy Orton seemingly joining the Wyatt Family last week.

Ellsworth is near tears trying to apologize to Dean. Bryan says Dean gets AJ again tonight and if he wins, he’s the new #1 contender but it’s his last chance no matter what. On top of that, Ellsworth is banned from ringside.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

No DQ. Orton is in his regular gear but doesn’t do his pose. Randy takes it start to the floor and has a chair less than fifteen seconds in. Kane takes it away and hits Orton in the ribs and back. It’s almost time for a chokeslam but here are the Wyatts for a distraction. The RKO doesn’t work and Kane boots Orton down. Bray and Luke pull Kane to the floor but he knocks the slightly smaller monsters away. Now the RKO connects and puts Kane away at 2:08.

Post match Harper gives Kane the discus lariat and Orton shoves Kane into Sister Abigail. Now Orton does the signature pose.

Baron Corbin vignette.

Becky Lynch/Nikki Bella vs. Alexa Bliss/Carmella

Nikki seems to have dyed her hair black. Carmella hides from Nikki to start so it’s off to Alexa, who is quickly shoved down. Stereo baseball slides have the good ones in control as we take a break. Back with Bliss getting caught in a reverse DDT but Carmella distracts the referee. A quick rake of the eyes and a DDT gives Bliss the pin on Lynch at 5:54.

Post match Carmella and Alexa brag about how awesome they’re going to be in the Survivor Series match. Oh and Alexa is going to win the title next week in Glasgow. Bliss has those evil eyes that get you to notice her and it makes her seem so much better as a villain.

Bryan and Shame put Naomi on the Survivor Series team, which is officially comprised of her and the four in the tag match. Naomi leaves and Natalya comes in to say she would be a perfect leader so Bryan makes her the coach.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Spirit Squad vs. American Alpha

Gable gets slammed down to start and Mikey gets two off a moonsault. We hit a chinlock before a double headbutt puts both guys down. Kenny misses the guillotine legdrop and it’s off to Jordan to clean house until he misses the shoulder in the corner. The blind tag brings Gable back in though and it’s Grand Amplitude for the pin on Mikey at 2:03.

Video on Goldberg’s appearance last night (with the slip edited out of course).

It’s time for MizTV with special guest Daniel Bryan. Daniel gets straight to the point and announces the Survivor Series team: Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt, Baron Corbin, Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles. Miz isn’t pleased and asks if he was even considered. Bryan says no, but eventually changes gears and says Miz was considered until Daniel realized Miz didn’t want to fight.

If he did, he would have taken up Dolph Ziggler’s challenge for an Intercontinental Title shot. Miz rants against Bryan for not wanting to fight. That’s enough for Daniel who turns the set over and says Miz should stick to talking while Ziggler has an open challenge for the title right now.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. ???

It’s Curt Hawkins answering the challenge and he gets the city wrong on the way to the ring. Bell, superkick, Ziggler retains in seven seconds.

Ziggler issues an open challenge for any wrestler on Raw to come get a title shot, presumably for Survivor Series. Miz freaks out.

The new interviewer asks Ambrose if he’s confident now that James Ellis is banned from ringside. Dean corrects her but has to talk to Ellsworth. James begs to be at ringside but Dean says no way because he’s done enough already.

Bray says someone like Orton is welcome in the Wyatt Family. Harper doesn’t look pleased as Orton says he’s done trying to fight the devil whispering in his ear. Orton’s eyes light up in a bad looking effect.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Usos vs. Headbangers

Jimmy punches Thrasher in the face before the bell and of course the referee is fine with this. A Samoan drop gets two early on and we hit the choke. It’s off to Mosh vs. Jey with a Downward Spiral planting Jey for two. Not that it matters as Jimmy rolls Mosh up and grabs the skirt for the pin at 1:25.

AJ isn’t worried.

Dean has Ellsworth leave the arena.

AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title. If Dean wins, he’s #1 contender for a match at some point in the future. Dean knocks him outside at the bell and sends AJ face first into the announcers’ table. Back in and a small package gets two on AJ and it’s off to a Texas Cloverleaf. A butterfly superplex gets two on AJ but he grabs the Calf Crusher to change momentum in a hurry.

That goes nowhere either so Dean takes him outside again for a crotching on the barricade. Back in and Dean misses a Blockbuster of all things, resulting in a bad knee. We come back from a break with Dean breaking up a springboard to knock AJ outside. The top rope elbow to the floor has Styles in more trouble but he suplexes Dean into the corner to get a breather. Both guys are down so here’s Ellsworth at ringside.

The distraction lets AJ get in a Pele for two as Otunga wants James to take his chin and go home. Cue security to go chase Ellsworth through the crowd as the inverted DDT is countered into Dirty Deeds which is countered into the Calf Crusher. The rope is grabbed but here’s Ellsworth AGAIN so AJ finally runs him over. The Phenomenal Forearm is countered into Dirty Deeds and Dean gets the pin and the title shot at 13:57.

Rating: B. Ellsworth aside, this was a fun match which set up the right ending while also giving us some amusing JBL ranting about Ellsworth being annoying. It wasn’t the cleanest finish in the world either and none of this matters if AJ retains the title. Dean getting the belt back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world either and we probably get a big TV main event out of it sometime soon. Good match too.

Ellsworth is dragged away with a very satisfied look on his face. Dean hugs him before leaving.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a harder one to grade as there’s only the main event to talk about. That being said, they covered a lot of stuff and added a lot of names to Survivor Series, which is something they have to do with only a few weeks to go. I’m more interested in where things are going now and we have a new title match coming up in the near future. Good show here as they continue to get things done when they need to.

Results

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Alexa Bliss/Carmella b. Becky Lynch/Nikki Bella – DDT to Lynch

American Alpha b. Spirit Squad – Grand Amplitude to Mikey

Dolph Ziggler b. Curt Hawkins – Superkick

Usos b. Headbangers – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Dean Ambrose b. AJ Styles – Dirty Deeds

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 30, 2002
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re still in Canada and maybe we can find the next challenger to Undertaker for the WWE World Title. As much fun as it was to see him make Tommy Dreamer drink tobacco juice and then beat him up, I could go for an actual match with a challenger instead of just random attacks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Hulk Hogan’s retirement from last week to set up what is likely our show long story. Vince McMahon isn’t going to let Hogan retire as punishment for Hogan leaving him ten years ago. An explanation for what he means by that might be nice for the casual fans.

Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Rico vs. Billy and Chuck

Rikishi and Rico are defending and Rico comes out to the challengers’ music. Chuck gets sent into the corner for an early Stinkface attempt but Rikishi has to deal with Rico. A double flapjack plants the big man but he comes right back with a double clothesline. Rico tags himself in as Rikishi sits on Chuck’s chest, leaving the Samoan to superkick his partner right into the cover to retain the titles. If this is the best they can do with the Tag Team Titles, drop them already because this is an embarrassment.

Hogan arrives.

Torrie Wilson kisses Maven and sexual escapades are implied. Tajiri watches from behind a door. So in other words, Torrie and Maven are Booker and the NWO while Tajiri is Goldust, even down to sneaking around behind them to eavesdrop.

Christian vs. Maven

Maven knocks him outside to start and scores with a dive as the announcers plug Tough Enough 2. Back in and Maven’s middle rope bulldog gets two but here’s Tajiri to kick Maven in the head, setting up the Unprettier for the fast pin.

Vince is on the phone for some exposition about how Benoit is allowed to go to either show because he’s injured. Since when was that written into the Draft charter? Dawn Marie Rinaldi (the last name was later dropped), a paralegal, comes in to give Vince something to sign. Chris Jericho interrupts them to complain about his match with Faarooq tonight. Vince doesn’t think much about that as HHH has to face Test tonight as well. This is your “Still To Come” segment. The Canadian leaves and Vince gets comfortable with Dawn. I guess Stacy is off this week.

GET THE F OUT!

Chris Jericho vs. Faarooq

We start with the power game, including a clothesline to put Jericho on the floor. A hot shot onto the barricade has Jericho in even more trouble and Faarooq drops a knee for two. Jericho realizes he’s only fighting Faarooq and gets in a middle rope dropkick to take over. With the wrestling not working, Jericho pulls off a turnbuckle pad followed by the bulldog. The Lionsault misses though and Faarooq hits that always good looking spinebuster. Not that it matters as Jericho sends him into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D-. Less than two weeks ago, Chris Jericho was inside the Cell in a major match with HHH. In the last two weeks, he’s had a match against Mark Henry and had to cheat against Faarooq. HHH fought Lance Storm and gets Test tonight, which isn’t much better but they’re almost guaranteed to be stronger matches. How does this stuff benefit anyone?

Lance Storm asks D-Von to take his confession…..in the men’s room. Storm’s sin: being from western Canada. D-Von forgives him but isn’t pleased with Storm’s small donation to the building fund.

Hogan is in the back for an interview but first let’s stop to soak in some cheers. Hulk was all ready to retire last week but Vince wants to treat him like an indentured servant. Vince can stick that contract in a rather uncomfortable place and Hogan will follow it with his size fifteen. After winning the title, Hogan only has one thing left to do: fight Vince McMahon, one on one. Vince comes in for a staredown but Angle jumps Hogan from behind with a steel exercise bar. There’s a big match at King of the Ring.

WWE Undisputed Title: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Here’s a major feud three years from now. Before the match, Undertaker actually sucks up to the Calgary fans for reasons unclear. Orton accepts a handshake to start and is actually granted a clean break in the corner. Undertaker walks into an armdrag and backdrop before a clothesline puts him on the floor. A big dive follows and I’m stunned at Undertaker actually selling here.

The Oklahoma roll gets two on the champ and a surprised Undertaker clotheslines him down. We get the second exposed buckle of the night but Orton gets caught with some dropkicks. That earns him a running DDT though and it’s time for Undertaker to get serious. Unfortunately serious means being sent into the exposed buckle, allowing Orton to hit the Overdrive (or whatever it’s called this week) for two.

I’m not sure why but there’s a major edit there as Orton grabs the near leg for the cover but a camera cut shows the far leg being held on the kickout. On top of that, Undertaker loses his bandana in between camera cuts. No idea what that’s about. That’s enough for Undertaker though as it’s Snake Eyes and a big boot for two, followed by Orton grabbing a rollup for his own near fall. A chokeslam retains the title.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here actually as Orton actually got in a lot instead of just getting squashed. I’m not sure what was up with Undertaker being nice at the beginning (just pure cockiness maybe) or the weird camera cut in the middle. At least Orton got a rub here because that’s what they need more than anything else: young guys getting to look good. Also, it makes sense to see Orton’s offense still being very basic. His big move is that Overdrive and the rest is all basic stuff. He’s adding more stuff though and that’s how he should be going.

Post match the rookie gets beaten up some more until HHH comes out to clean house. A challenge is issued but Undertaker is sent off by the Game’s music. I can’t imagine it was intentional, but you could look back at that as a sign that HHH thought something of Orton. Randy joined up with HHH in January so it’s not like there’s an unthinkable gap of time in there.

Hurricane/Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Tajiri

Hurricane takes Tajiri to the floor to start and does the rocking horse move to send Tajiri’s head into the bottom buckle over and over. Tazz: “Just like Maven and Torrie!” A superkick gets two on Tajiri and it’s off to Kidman (who looks really weird in regular trunks) for the Sky High on Chavo.

Tajiri goes with the standard cheating by kicking Kidman from the apron and grabbing a Tarantula to take it a step further. That just makes him cocky though and it’s time for Kidman to counter a powerbomb with the X Factor. Hurricane comes back in to clean house with the Overcast getting two.

A flip dive takes Tajiri out again, followed by Kidman busting out a shooting star from the top to the floor onto both villains. Back in and Hurricane’s music hits as a message pops up on screen, saying the reveal is next week. As a bonus we see a woman’s hands on Hurricane’s chest, meaning this is likely going to be ANOTHER love triangle story. Tajiri kicks the distracted Hurricane for the pin.

Rating: B. This is what I’m looking for with the cruiserweights, minus the angle that is. These guys know how to fly around the ring and make the division look like a lot of fun. That shooting star from Kidman looked awesome and is the kind of thing I want out of this division. There’s no need for anything beyond basic characters because the action should be the driving force around here.

HHH vs. Test

Fallout from Test attacking HHH last week and I’m having flashbacks to 1999 when this meant something. Triple H knocks him into the corner and out to the floor for a good posting. Cue Lance Storm for a distraction so Test can get in a quick legdrop as HHH gets back inside. A good looking side slam gets two and Storm gets in a better looking superkick on the floor. Back in and HHH gets the spinebuster so Storm jumps on the apron like a good evil Canadian. Storm is finally thrown at Test and eats a big boot from his buddy. Cue the Undertaker for a distraction though and Test kicks HHH in the face for the pin.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing: this really doesn’t do anything for Test because it was all about HHH being dragged down by the overwhelming odds. Test really could have been anyone here and that’s not doing anyone any good. Orton got in offense on Undertaker on his own and looked like he had potential. HHH beat the heck out of Test anytime it was one on one. That doesn’t help Test, which makes this little more than time filler until Undertaker got there.

The beatdown is on post match, including a chokeslam and a bunch of chair shots. Referees and suits finally break it up.

The cage is lowered.

Val Venis tells Edge to rip off Angle’s wig. So Venis has gone from an adult star to a censorship advocate to Edge’s buddy. That’s quite the character evolution.

Angle swears his hair is natural and threatens pain for anyone who tries to show footage of his haircut. Violence against Edge is promised.

The Hart Family, including Stu, is in the crowd.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

They have a lot of time for this one and it’s inside a cage with pins/submissions or escape as winning options. For some reason Edge tries to take it to the mat early on before opting to send Angle flying into the cage. A spear attempt hits cage though and we hit a front facelock. The rolling German suplexes get two on Edge and he gets thrown into the cage a few times to draw some Canadian blood.

Edge’s half nelson faceplant has Angle staggered but it’s time for a ref bump. You can tell this is going to get stupid now. A belly to back superplex cuts off Angle’s escape attempt and Tazz is amazed that Kurt’s hair is still on. Edge goes up and gets low blowed back down, setting up one heck of a super Angle Slam. It’s always cool looking when someone goes flying through the air into a big crash.

Angle goes over the top and escapes but here’s Hogan for revenge from earlier. Back from a break with another Angle Slam getting two. Edge hits his own Slam but gets caught in the ankle lock. Angle is sent into the cage so Edge puts on his own ankle lock (Angle LOVED that stealing finishers spot).

That’s reversed as well and Angle goes over the top, only to have Edge kick the door open to crotch Angle back down. Back inside and Kurt tries to run the corner for a superplex but a top rope spear (more like a shoulder but the timing was hard to pull off) gives Edge the pin. So does that make it one fall apiece?

Rating: B+. Hogan really brings this one down as he feels so out of place. You have a match with Angle and Edge beating the heck out of each other but then you do a false finish (with Angle winning completely legally) for the sake of advancing Angle vs. Hogan. I don’t see a reason why you couldn’t wait until after the cage match and then start the new feud as it’s not like losing to Edge is going to take away all of Angle’s heat. Hogan didn’t help Edge get the win at the end but he was way too big of a factor in the match, which was excellent without him but just very, very good with him.

Post match Hogan goes after Angle but can’t get the wig off. Hogan’s music plays to end the show because that’s how things work around here.

Overall Rating: C+. The first hour or so was dreadful but once you get to the meat of the show, this turned around in a hurry with some hard work and good wrestling. The holes are still there with stuff like HHH vs. Undertaker for the title (though there isn’t another main eventer ready for the shot at the moment) and the mess that is the Tag Team Titles. The main event more than bails the show out though and is worth checking out if you have the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 25, 2016
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

It’s another big week as we have a pay per view rematch from Backlash with AJ Styles facing Dean Ambrose in a non-title match. If Ambrose wins, he gets a title shot at some point in the future. There’s a good chance James Ellsworth will get involved to possibly wrap up his story. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth title match with Ellsworth winning via DQ. After the match, Daniel Bryan made Styles vs. Dean Ambrose for this week.

Ambrose is in the back talking about his match with Styles. Ellsworth comes up and offers to help but Dean thinks it’s better for him to stay in the back.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

No DQ. They trade big uppercuts and clotheslines to start until Kane takes it outside and whips Bray into the steps. The chokeslam through the announcers’ table is loaded up but Luke Harper appears and gives Kane the discus lariat. Back from a break with Kane fighting out of a chinlock (I thought these guys were different.) and stopping a charge with a big boot. Harper saves his boss from the chokeslam and Bray’s release Rock Bottom gets two. Harper gets involved again so here’s Randy Orton……to RKO Kane and freak the heck out of Wyatt. Bray covers Kane for the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C-. This was much more of an angle than a match but again, the difference from Raw is this is interesting. I’m curious to see where this is going while most of the stuff on Monday comes and goes with little interest. My guess is Orton trying to get into Wyatt’s head instead of a heel turn, which works for me as I’ve always liked Orton vs. Kane matches.

Styles is ready to take care of Dean and warns Ellsworth to stay away. AJ also says Ellsworth looks like an action figure that melted in a microwave. That’s about as accurate as you’re going to get with him.

Becky Lynch makes her return from injury but is immediately cut off by Alexa Bliss. She accuses Becky of leaving out of fear of losing her precious title. The Cinderella story is ending soon and Bliss will get the title that she deserves. The fight is on but Bliss lays her out and grabs a conveniently placed can of spray paint. A yellow streak goes up the champ’s back and Bliss smirks as she leaves.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Ascension vs. Hype Bros

The winners are on the Survivor Series team along with Heath Slater and Rhyno, who were granted an automatic spot. Mojo, a former Green Bay Packer, is VERY popular here as he starts with Viktor. Ryder is quickly in for a dropkick to knock Konnor off the apron, only to have Ascension take over with some double teaming. Too much trash talking allows Ryder to get in a jawbreaker but a spinebuster stops a hot tag. A middle rope elbow misses though and the hot tag brings in Rawley for his corner splashes. Viktor misses a charge and the Hype Ryder sends the Bros to Survivor Series at 3:50.

Rating: C. Well were you really expecting anything else? Ascension might have won one tag match in a year (on Superstars in February over Fandango and Damien Sandow) so it’s kind of hard to buy that they’re going to win here, or anywhere for that matter. The Hype Bros are already more successful than I was expecting and that’s cool to see.

Orton says if you can’t beat them, join them.

Bryan is talking about the need for strong team captains when Natalya comes in. She’s been thinking about the Raw women’s team and thinks she should be captain. Daniel isn’t sure but makes Natalya’s match against Nikki Bella for the captain’s spot. However, the loser is off the team entirely.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

Nikki actually tries an Oklahoma roll to start but makes the mistake of going outside, allowing Nattie By Nature to get two. An abdominal stretch and some stomps to the ribs set up the Sharpshooter but Nikki dives over to the ropes. Natalya misses a legdrop and something like the Beautiful Disaster gets two. The surfboard goes on but Nikki powers out and grabs an STF (prepare to hear about her being a great submission wrestler) for the tap out at 6:07.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but there’s really no way around Nikki being the captain. Natalya is just there while Bella has been one of the top stars in the division for a long time now. The STF is a nice change of pace for Nikki and she even added a little twist by hooking the foot and chin at the same time.

Carmella attacks Nikki after the match and gives her a Bella Buster.

Ambrose is ready to win because karma is a bad thing.

Here are Miz, Maryse and the Spirit Squad to talk about the Intercontinental Title. Miz feels sorry for the legends that fought to make the Intercontinental Title so important. As Miz talks about Pat Patterson, here comes Dolph Ziggler to say he wants to fight. The Squad is ready so Heath Slater and Rhyno come out to even the odds. Maryse gets in the way and insults are exchanged. Miz suggests that the Spirit Squad get a Tag Team Title shot but thinks Heath is too scared. Rhyno accepts for the team and we’re got a title match.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Miz and Ziggler are on commentary. Slater and Rhyno are defending and this is joined in progress with Slater caught in a chinlock. The comeback is cut off and we hit another chinlock to keep the champs in trouble. Slater fights up and dives over for the tag as everything breaks down. The commentators get in the expected argument and it’s Mikey being knocked off the apron onto Miz. A Gore to Kenny retains the titles at 4:03.

Rating: C-. This was fine and a basic tag match with Slater and Rhyno beating yet another team. I don’t think anyone really considers them to be great champions but they could have been a joke and are turning into perfectly acceptable champions. Also, by having them win matches like this one, it’s going to mean more when they lose the belts. It’s putting in effort early for a later payoff, which is a lost art in wrestling.

Hell in a Cell preview.

Ambrose is on the way to the ring when he runs into Ellsworth. Dean: “Didn’t I tell you to stay in the back and sulk?” James begs to be in Dean’s corner and Ambrose eventually relents, much to the audience’s delight.

AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title with Ellsworth in the corner and a win makes Dean #1 contender. Ambrose starts fast and stomps away in the corner but AJ comes right back with some shots of his own. With a look towards Ellsworth, AJ scores with the slingshot dive to take us to a break. Back with Dean hitting the suicide dive and grabbing a Fujiwara armbar of all things. AJ rolls out but gets caught in a Texas cloverleaf, sending him crawling over to the ropes. Back up and they fight over a suplex off the apron, only to have AJ suplex him out to the floor for a crash.

We come back from another break with Dean fighting up and hitting the top rope standing elbow drop. AJ’s strike rush is countered into a swinging neckbreaker but he scores with the springboard into the reverse DDT. The Styles Clash is countered into a rollup for two and the rebound lariat drops both guys. AJ comes right back with the Calf Crusher but Dean grabs the champ’s head and slams it into the mat for a break.

The hold goes on again but the power of Ellsworth makes Dean crawl to the ropes, just like Randy saved Rip in No Holds Barred. That’s enough for AJ who takes James out with a baseball slide. The Pele looks to set up the Styles Clash but Dean backdrops AJ to the floor. Ellsworth superkicks Styles……and that’s a DQ at 19:57 with Dean nearly losing his mind.

Rating: B. Good match here and the ending makes sense. I’m not sure where this leads and you have to imagine that Ambrose will get a title shot somehow down the road anyway. Above all else, Ambrose can only blame himself as he invited Ellsworth to come out to ringside. It’s also a good way to protect both guys, which you also don’t see enough.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like another NXT show with Smackdown banners. The wrestling wasn’t great at times but they advanced almost every story and treated them all like big deals. I’m curious to see where Orton and the Wyatts go, as well as finding out what’s next for AJ and Dean. I don’t get those feelings on Raw and that’s a big reason why Smackdown is better.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Pin after an RKO from Randy Orton

Hype Bros b. Ascension – Hype Ryder to Viktor

Nikki Bella b. Natalya – STF

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Spirit Squad – Gore to Kenny

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when James Ellsworth interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 23, 2002
Location: BankcorpSouth Center, Tupelo, Mississippi
Attendance: 7,450
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We might be in for a major announcement this week as new WWE World Champion the Undertaker has suggested that Hulk Hogan will be retiring tonight. I know 2002 was a different time but does anyone believe that Hogan’s retirement is coming on a regular Smackdown in Mississippi? Let’s get to it.

We open with the same recap of the big pay per view matches from Raw.

Opening sequence.

Cole immediately tells us that Hogan will be retiring tonight and says this will be the resting place of Hulkamania.

HHH vs. Lance Storm

Cole thinks Vince, you know, the boss and lone authority figure on this show, had something to do with this match being made. In addition to that, the entrances are dedicated to talking about what Hogan has been telling his friends and family about tonight. Storm does his normal schtick and takes the running knee to the face for his efforts, which only hurts HHH’s bad leg. A good looking dropkick puts HHH down and Storm does that weird hopping stomp of his. HHH’s cut is opened up again and Storm gets two off a top rope clothesline.

Cole and Tazz get into their fifth discussion of Hogan’s retirement (not an exaggeration and we’re only ten minutes in) as HHH makes his comeback with right hands and a spinebuster. Storm’s superkick (looks awesome as always) sets up the half crab on the bad leg for the logical submission attempt. A rope is grabbed so Storm heads up, only to have HHH shove the referee into the ropes for the crotching, followed by a Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. For a five minute match to open a Smackdown, this was actually very good stuff. Storm looked like a threat to HHH (as big of a threat as he could have been at least) and the half crab made perfect sense. HHH sold well too and made Storm seem like a bigger deal, which was exactly the point of this match.

Notice the different between Raw and Smackdown: Raw has been using pretty much the same cast of characters since the Brand Split. Smackdown has at least turned guys like Storm and Val Venis into perfectly competent jobbers to the stars who also keep things feeling fresh. It’s a small difference but very helpful.

Christian is talking to Kurt Angle (head not seen) about how Kurt is going to go out there and expose his bald head. For reasons of general stupidity, Christian starts a YOU’RE BALD chant.

Stacy Keibler comes up to Test and tells him Vince has given him Randy Orton tonight. Apparently Vince is mad that Stacy thinks Orton is good looking and wants Test to take him out. Test says ok and kisses Stacy, who doesn’t seem to disapprove.

Here’s Angle, now with a curly brown wig and amateur wrestling headgear. Angle: “It’s amazing what hair supplements can do!” We get the required reference to Hogan’s retirement but here’s Maven to interrupt. Maven makes bald jokes and says Mississippi wants to see the real Angle. Kurt: “Do you work here or something?” The fight starts and Angle beats Maven up because one of them is Kurt Angle and the other is Maven. Cue Edge for the save but Christian comes out before the wig can be pulled off.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Before Test comes out, Stacy is on the table in a short skirt for her weekly dance. In addition to that, you can see her challenge for the Women’s Title in a bra and panties match on the debut of Velocity. The current Superstars debuted with Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy and Main Event debuted with CM Punk vs. Sheamus (World Champion vs. World Champion). I’d say that’s a point in the future’s favor.

Test starts fast and hammers in the corner with the big power offense. The pumphandle powerslam gets two on Orton as it’s not clear who Stacy wants to win. Test misses the big boot though and crotches himself on the ropes. Again, Stacy seems to like both guys in a nice shade of gray. A few rollups get two for Orton but the Test Drive (pick whatever name you like for the rolling cutter) gives Test the win.

Rating: C. For a four minute match, this actually had a story. Test, the powerful veteran, manhandled the rookie, who could only hit and run while looking for a quick win. I liked this way more than I was expecting and when you throw in several shots of a smiling Stacy, this was one of the best things on the show.

Undertaker doesn’t think anyone is ready to face him and he shrugs off a package of his match with Rob Van Dam. Interviewer Mark Lloyd says some people say he lost the title due to getting pinned with his foot on the ropes. That’s like saying he got pinned despite kicking out, mainly because Lloyd isn’t that bright. Anyway, Undertaker wants to see Hogan retire because that’s all that matters tonight.

Rico is admiring his Tag Team Title when Billy and Chuck come in. Apparently the title doesn’t matter because it doesn’t go with his clothes. That’s what the Tag Team Titles now mean people.

Chris Jericho isn’t in a good mood when he runs into Faarooq. Jericho: “Just the man I wanted to see.” Faarooq: “Are you high? Or drunk?” Jericho wants to get out of his match but Faarooq turns down the offer of money because Jericho is facing Mark Henry.

Edge/Maven vs. Kurt Angle/Christian

Angle jumps Edge during his entrance (Canadians never pay attention.) but Edge gets in a quick sitout Edgecution. It’s too early to get the wig off though and you can hear Angle’s medals clanging together as he runs away. Was there ever a reason given for Angle having more than one medal when he only won one? It’s a very simple heel idea to say he deserved more than one but you would think that would have been a joke once or twice.

As this is still waiting to get going, Torrie and Trish are shown watching in the back. Torrie is dating Maven and Trish is watching because……I have no idea. WWE really had a thing for blondes around this point. Christian chops Maven in the corner but an Edge distraction lets the rookie get in a low blow. The hot tag brings in Edge to clean house and everything breaks down. The Angle Slam plants Edge but Maven gets in a missile dropkick for two on Christian. Angle and Edge fight to the floor and the Unprettier is countered into a rollup to give Maven the big upset pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but again, they give someone a win for the sake of a rub. Christian giving up a fluke pin in a tag match isn’t going to hurt him long term but it could do a lot of good for Maven. It’s a case of throwing something against the wall and seeing if it sticks and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Rikishi vs. D-Von

D-Von now has the awesome “He’s Called My Name” gospel theme. Rikishi doesn’t think much of D-Von saying the thong is sinful but it’s too early to sit on D-Von’s chest. Cue Rico (with his title belt) as Rikshi gets in a belly to belly on D-Von. Now it’s Billy and Chuck coming out to see Batista trip Rikishi to give D-Von a breather.

A DDT has no effect on the Samoan (I love stereotypes shining through) as Tazz uses this match to talk about Hogan, who feuded with Rikishi’s cousin Yokozuna. That’s the kind of stuff they’ve been doing all night and it got old an hour ago. The Stinkface is loaded up but a Batista distraction lets Rico hit Rikishi with the belt to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: D. This match ran 3:08 and had Batista, Rico, Billy and Chuck interfering, plus a belt shot and a Hogan vs. Yokozuna reference. Oh and the Tag Team Champions hate each other the same week they won the belts and somehow the division is already pining for the days of Al Snow/Maven vs. Billy and Chuck.

Chavo Guerrero is watching Eddie Guerrero attack Steve Austin on Raw when Gregory Helms comes in. Gregory wants to know if Chavo knows anything about someone stalking Hurricane. Chavo says he’s going to take the Cruiserweight Title tonight and leaves. Before Helms leaves, he finds another clue: a bag of beef jerky. So wait: whoever is doing this is leaving notes and clues in someone else’s locker room on the off chance that Hurricane’s alter ego comes in and interviews them about who is leaving the notes?

HHH says there are no winners in the Cell but just survivors like him. Storm comes up to talk trash when Test jumps HHH from behind.

Cruiserweight Title: Hurricane vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Hurricane is defending and catches Chavo with an early powerslam. With this match already going nowhere, it’s time to talk about HULK HOGAN MOVIES. A dropkick knocks Hurricane off the top for two and it’s off to a discussion of great Hogan feuds, including King Kong Bundy and Kamala. An Emerald Flowsion of all things gets two on the champ but the Overcast (Blockbuster) retains the title. This was just background noise while the announcers squeezed in whatever new Hogan topic they could think of.

Vince isn’t concerned about Stacy kissing Test because tonight he’s getting rid of Hogan. Jericho comes in to yell about facing Henry but Vince tells him it’s an opportunity.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws him around to start and Chris’ wounds are already opened up again. A Vader Bomb misses and Jericho dropkicks him in the face. Mark gets back up for a five rep gorilla press so Jericho grabs a chair. Henry has his own chair taken away so Jericho gets in a shot to the back for the pin.

Rating: D. So HHH has a match with a story of a bad leg and a leg submission hold while making Storm look good. Jericho has a match where Henry gets to do power stuff and there’s a screwy ending. We’ll chalk this up to a combination of Mark Henry not being very good and Jericho only being able to work a few miracles. Henry is so one dimensional that it’s almost painful and even WWE seems to have given up on his push.

Here’s Hogan for the big segment that they’ve been building to ALL NIGHT LONG. After a long HOGAN chant, Hulk gives his life history, including talking about being born Terry Bollea in Augusta, Georgia. He’s had the time of his life for the last twenty years and he’s sad that his father isn’t here to celebrate with the Hulkamaniacs.

One night he and his father were watching wrestling and his dad told him to go wrestle again and straighten out his career in the WWF. Hogan thanks his fans for having his back all these months (all three of them since he came back). However, Hogan has to know when it’s time to leave (About nine years ago?) and wants the fans to live forever. Posing ensues (with Voodoo Child making a rare appearance on the Network version) but here’s Vince to interrupt.

Vince finds it amusing that Hogan is retiring in a place like Tupelo (true) but Hulk isn’t going to retire anytime soon (well duh) because Vince isn’t letting 1993 happen all over again (he says ten years ago so 1993 is just an educated guess). If Hogan leaves, he’ll get sued for everything he’s got. Hogan isn’t retiring until Vince has gotten every cent that he can out of him and that’s that. Hulk punches him down but here’s Undertaker, only to be dispatched in short order.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was better for the most part tonight but that main event segment did this show no favors. At the end of the day, this was ALL about Hogan and after setting up something on Monday and building it up all night, Vince basically just comes out and says “eh not really” and it looks like we’re setting up Undertaker vs. Hogan II. There’s a little good stuff here but the bad outweighs it and that’s not good. Get rid of Hogan and Vince (for the most part) and this show is much better in a hurry.

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