Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2017
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re past Money in the Bank and there are two briefcases floating around the blue show. In addition to that, we also saw Jinder Mahal retain his Smackdown World Title when he defeated Randy Orton for the second time. There’s a chance we’ll be setting up a third match between the two as we head towards Battleground in just over a month. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of Carmella winning the first women’s Money in the Bank ladder match with a big assist from James Ellsworth.

The other participants from the women’s ladder match are outside Daniel Bryan’s door but he won’t help them at the moment.

Opening sequence.

Here are Carmella and James Ellsworth to celebrate the win. Carmella addresses the controversy around her winning the briefcase and decides she doesn’t care. She’s tired of being overlooked compared to all of the other women when she’s this great. There have been other issues like this over the years but all the little internet trolls got on their “Tweeter” to talk to Bryan. She won the briefcase fair and square and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. This was a solid heel speech but you can tell they’re setting up something for later tonight.

Charlotte complains to Bryan and tells him to do the right thing.

Big E. vs. Jimmy Uso

Big E. isn’t happy with the Usos leaving on Sunday, saying “the Usos dipped with those ships before we could put them around our hips.” We see some stills of the Usos bailing on the match before the Usos introduce us to the warden of the Usos Penitentiary: Deput E! Joined in progress with Jimmy in trouble and staying on the downed Big E. That doesn’t last long though as Big E. powers up and throws Jimmy around like he’s a power lifter and Jimmy is a small Samoan wrestler. The Usos tease walking out again but Kofi dives on Jey and Woods blocks Jimmy from escaping. Back in and the Big Ending puts Jimmy away at 3:19.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to keep the feud going here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Big E. is actually a pretty accomplished singles wrestler but he’s been in the dominant tag team for so long that it’s forgotten. I’m sure we’ll see more of this kind of match and that’s a fine way to fill in time before the next pay per view title match.

Natalya and Tamina come into Daniel’s office and suck up to him about being a new father. Tamina gets to the point and asks what he’s going to do about Carmella. Daniel promises an answer by tonight.

Naomi thinks Bryan will make the right decision and will face anyone she has to face. Lana comes in and asks what about her. There was interference that cost her the match so Lana wants a rematch. Naomi: “How thirsty are you?” Naomi agrees to a rematch next week.

We look at some stills of Mahal beating Orton again.

Earlier today, Orton sat down to talk about losing his cool on Sunday. He knows how the numbers game works and Mahal played it to perfection. Orton is ready to do whatever it takes to get his hands on Mahal again. Mahal disrespected his family so maybe Orton can go to India and hit RKO’s on every member of the Mahal Family. Including his grandmother! That’s a running trend for Orton and it’s kind of disturbing.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

The threats of some early kicks send Ziggler to the floor so he tries a more amateur style back inside. That’s fine with Nakamura who sends him into the ropes and says bring it. More strikes stagger Ziggler but he sends Nakamura into the post and hits that good looking dropkick for two. A big toss out to the floor knocks Ziggler silly though and we take a break.

Back with Nakamura fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with another kick to the head. Ziggler drops him again and mocks Nakamura’s little dance, earning himself another series of kicks. The running knees in the corner connect for two but Ziggler kicks him in the knee and gets two off a very ugly Fameasser.

Ziggler’s superkick misses and Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke into a cross armbreaker until Ziggler rakes the eye. There’s the Zig Zag for a close two and it’s off to the sleeper. Nakamura finally rolls out of it and knees Dolph in the back of the head for a breather. Kinshasa finally puts Ziggler away at 16:49.

Rating: B. Some of Ziggler’s normal issues aside, this was much better than they’ve done in recent outings. They were working hard out there, which is a very nice touch considering what we usually get from them. Nakamura needed one of those hard fought victories, even though he’s still nowhere near what he used to be down in NXT. Or at least in that one match with Zayn.

Bryan is in the back with Sami Zayn, who gets to face Baron Corbin next week. Becky Lynch comes in and Sami offers his condolences on her loss, which he thought was unfair. As everyone else has done tonight, she asks Bryan to do something about this.

Here’s Kevin Owens for an open challenge and a chat. He didn’t like what happened on Sunday because everyone conspired against him becoming Mr. Money in the Bank. This is the Land of Opportunity and tonight he’s giving someone from Dayton, Ohio a chance to become the US Champion. Cue AJ Styles to say he’ll take the title. Owens isn’t cool with that because AJ isn’t from Dayton. This brings out Chad Gable of all people, who says he just moved to Dayton this morning. He even has an address and we’re ready to go.

US Title: Chad Gable vs. Kevin Owens

Gable is challenging and easily takes Owens to the mat a few times before an ankle lock sends Owens outside. We take a break less than forty five seconds in and come back with Gable getting superkicked for two. Another suplex drops Owens and a moonsault gives Gable two of his own. Not that it matters as the Pop Up Powerbomb is good for the pin to retain the title at 5:59. There wasn’t enough shown to rate but Gable looked energetic in defeat.

The Hype Bros are in Bryan’s office and think they deserve the Tag Team Title shot that they earned back in December. Bryan says things have changed a bit so if they can beat the Usos next week, they can have a future title shot.

Here’s Bryan for his announcement on the ladder match. He brings out all of the participants in the ladder match, each with their own entrance. Bryan says that Carmella did follow the rules by being the first woman to retrieve the briefcase but it has never been done this way before. Therefore, we are in uncharted territory.

Ellsworth thinks Bryan being the father of a vegan hippie baby has made him soft. The women get all catty with each other (duh) with Charlotte threatening to make Natalya look like Ellsworth if she doesn’t shut up. Bryan cuts them off and says Carmella has to hand over the briefcase. Next week, there’s going to be ANOTHER women’s Money in the Bank ladder match with the same five participants. A brawl breaks out with Becky and Charlotte beating Carmella up.

ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Let me make sure I have this straight: I sat through weeks of BUILDING MOMENTUM with WWE telling me that it didn’t really matter and now we’re doing the EXACT SAME MATCH just nine days later? I really have to go back and sit through the same thing that fast? Then what was the point of the pay per view version? After all that build and all that nonsense, they’re just saying “eh do it again”? Oh and add to it another pay per view rematch for the Women’s Title. They really are doing this same stuff over and over again and trying to act like it’s not just a ratings ploy. This is stupid, even by WWE standards.

Jinder Mahal vs. Luke Harper

Non-title. Harper slugs away to start and dropkicks Jinder to the floor as we take another early break. Back with Mahal grabbing a chinlock until Harper fights up with something like a clothesline. A big boot and the sitout Boss Man Slam give Harper two but Jinder comes back with a superplex. Cue Baron Corbin with the briefcase….but he walks right back up the ramp with it and leaves. Harper gets in a superkick but has to swing at one of the brothers. The Khallas gives Mahal the pin at 9:40.

Rating: D+. Just your standard Mahal match here with the Singhs offering the easiest distraction in the world for the finish. Mahal REALLY needs a better finisher though as that cobra clutch slam is one of the weakest things you’re going to find. Having Mahal win a match like this is a good idea though and helps give Mahal some credibility. If they just have to sacrifice Harper again, so be it, which seems to be the company’s mantra on Smackdown.

Post match Orton comes out to clean house and hits the hanging DDT off the barricade. Mahal bails while Orton gives both Singhs an RKO (more like a Stunner to the second one) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was your run of the mill placeholder show as they took a breath after Money in the Bank and started planting some seeds for the upcoming stuff. That being said, EGADS they really are redoing all the women’s stuff, making that pay per view really look like the biggest waste of time in a long while. This is the kind of thing that makes my head hurt and it’s not making their existing problems any better. They’ll probably pop a quick rating for it but that doesn’t make their pay per view business that much better. Not a terrible show here but it’s one really designed to set things up for the future.

Results

Big E. b. Jimmy Uso – Big Ending

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Dolph Ziggler – Kinshasa

Kevin Owens b. Chad Gable – Pop Up Powerbomb

Jinder Mahal b. Luke Harper – Khallas

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: January 16, 2003
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re at the go home show for the Royal Rumble and you wouldn’t really know based on the TV they’ve been building towards it. The Rumble itself has taken a huge backseat to almost everything else, including tonight when a good chunk of the focus is likely to be focused on Al Wilson’s death. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dawn and Al’s honeymoon with Al dying from exhaustion. Three days before the Rumble and this is what starts the show.

Dawn, in a rather low cut top, is all sad about Al dying. As I’ve said this whole time, what exactly was her plan here? She really just married him to annoy Torrie? That’s getting to Vince levels to ruin Austin.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. John Cena/B2

Los Guerreros are defending and they’re both in the Rumble too. Both promise they’ll win to make Grandma happy. Cena raps about sending Los Guerreros back to their jobs at Home Depot or selling oranges at off ramps. Oh and he used to love Lucy and hate Ricky Ricardo. Eddie and Cena start things off with Eddie spinning all over the place to send Cena down, followed by a basement dropkick from Chavo. The slingshot hilo hits Cena as well as the champs are in full control to start.

Buchanan comes in and eats a belly to back suplex, followed by Eddie kicking at his legs. Cena offers a low bridge though and the champs are finally in trouble. A Falcon Arrow gets two on Eddie and Cena grabs a front facelock until Chavo slaps Eddie’s boot for the tag. That’s fine with Cena who facelocks Chavo as well. A dropkick gets Chavo out of trouble and everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Buchanan and Eddie does the same to Cena. Back in and Chavo dropkicks Buchanan again, setting up a frog splash to retain.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and I’m kind of glad they just got rid of Cena and Buchanan as challengers in a hurry. Eddie and Chavo have slid right into the face roles without even blinking an eye because they’re talented enough to pull something like that off.

Post match Cena yells at Buchanan until someone (who Cena fist bumped before the match) comes out of the crowd and helps Cena beat him down, including wrecking Buchanan’s shoulder.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle, which includes the introduction of Team Angle and a series of beatdowns at Benoit’s expense.

Benoit talks about how important the title match is and promises to get to Angle tonight. He’s heard about ruthless aggression but he’d prefer toothless aggression.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon for a chat. It turns out that the Royal Rumble is THIS SUNDAY but more importantly, tonight it’s A-Train/Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar/???. This absolutely didn’t need to be its own segment nor in front of the crowd.

Nathan Jones video.

Bill DeMott vs. Rikishi

Before the match, Rikishi talks about wanting to win the Rumble while DeMott is tired of hearing about being told to pick on someone their own size. Rikishi punches him down to start and a few slams drop him again. We hit the armbar until DeMott hits him in the ample gut to take over. That means an armbar on Rikishi for a change, followed by the shoulder going into the post. Unfortunately Bill didn’t do anything to the leg so Rikishi superkicks him down for two. The Rump Shaker is loaded up but DeMott powerbombs him down for the pin.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. I have no idea why they think DeMott is interesting but having him pin Rikishi clean doesn’t make him any more interesting. He’s still the same wrestler he’s always been and having him win matches like this doesn’t change a thing. Rikishi is still there and there’s no reason to think anything of him either. Why in the world is this push still a thing?

Kidman imitates Shannon Moore (Horribly, though since Shannon almost never talks how can you tell?) until Matt Hardy and the real Shannon come up. Matt defends Shannon and punches Funaki as a bonus, triggering a brawl.

Tajiri vs. Nunzio

After saying (in Japanese) that he’ll win the Rumble, Tajiri fires off the kicks but gets snapmared down for two. Nunzio spins into a Fujiwara armbar but Tajiri gets his foot in the ropes without too much effort. Tajiri kicks at the legs but something like an Unprettier brings him right back down. It’s back to the arm with a cross armbreaker and a whip into the corner but Tajiri comes right back with the Tarantula. Nidia takes the mist to the face but a springboard tornado flying armbar gives Nunzio the pin.

Rating: C+. Fun match here but, again, the Cruiserweight Title is nowhere near this spot on the card because the champion has other people to feud with and can’t be asked to defend his title. That’s not on Kidman but again shows how worthless that title really is. Putting either of them over Kidman doesn’t matter at this point as the title isn’t going to mean anything no matter what they do at this point.

Long recap of the Raw Tenth Anniversary show.

Cena introduces his new buddy as Red Dogg and implies the eating of your Scooby Snacks.

Undertaker is back on Sunday.

It’s off to the funeral home where Dawn is all emotional and cries. She opens the casket so the announcers can do another “Look at Al!” “Look at Dawn!” bit. This goes on for WAY too long with Dawn being sad and talking about how she’s going to carry on Al’s name.

Stephanie is on the phone with Shane when Brock comes in to say that he doesn’t need a partner. She says she needs to protect her investment, which is why Lesnar needs a partner. If Stephanie wanted to protect her investment before the Rumble, why is this match happening? I’m going out on a limb and say that Stephanie isn’t as smart as she thinks she is.

Brock Lesnar/??? vs. Big Show/A-Train

Before the match, Heyman goes on a rant about how Lesnar has no chance because he won’t beat Big Show in the first place. If he somehow does though, he’ll have to deal with Team Angle and A-Train. Cue Lesnar with partner…..Rey Mysterio. Rey charges right in and kicks A-Train into the F5. Show gets clotheslined to the floor and it’s the 619 and a springboard splash to put A-Train away in less than 35 seconds. So to clarify, the pecking order of non-Big Show giants goes Bill DeMott, Rikishi and then A-Train. Yet A-Train is consistently dealing with the main eventers because WWE.

Back to the funeral home when Torrie (also in an outfit that shouldn’t be at a place like this) comes in to stare Dawn down.

Matt Hardy vs. Funaki

This is the result of Funaki calling out Matt, who was in the academically gifted class in elementary school, for the earlier attack. Kidman and Shannon are here as the seconds. Funaki goes right after him to start and hammers away on the mat. A Side Effect gives Matt two and it’s Shannon choking on the ropes.

Matt chokes a bit as well, followed by the Ricochet for two. Back up and Matt misses a charge so Funaki grabs a bulldog for two. Funaki sends him hard into the corner but the seconds get in a fight on the apron so there’s no one to see Matt being covered. Matt sends Funaki into Shannon and it’s a Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and at least the champ didn’t take another fall. Matt getting a win is a good idea and hopefully it actually leads somewhere for him. By somewhere, I mean something other than just getting squashed by Lesnar or Rikishi, because there’s no one else to do jobs like that for some reason.

Shannon: “WE DID IT!” Matt: “NO! I DID IT!” And he throws in a slap to Shannon’s jaw.

We go back to the funeral home (GET ON WITH IT ALREADY) where Dawn blames Torrie for Al’s death. She didn’t love him enough or something and that broke his heart. They get in a slap fight and Dawn shattered a lamp over Torrie’s back. The worst part is this could have been even worse.

According to a recent interview with the writer of this whole mess, the original ending was going to see Al sit up in the casket, berate Torrie for being the worst daughter ever, then walk outside and get hit by a bus to kill him once and for all. Even with that ending, I’d love to know what the real point to this was, because even I can’t believe that it was really just for the sake of what’s probably a four minute match at Royal Rumble.

Back from a break and HERE’S A REPLAY OF THE FIGHT BECAUSE THIS HASN’T EATEN UP ENOUGH TIME IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS!

Nathan Jones video.

Royal Rumble rundown. The graphics showing the thirty Rumble entrants make me sadder than anything not associated with the Wilsons. It really does look that bad.

Kurt Angle/Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Kurt is still on a crutch. Joined in progress with Benoit suplexing Charlie and asking Kurt to come in. He has to settle for chopping Haas some more and then throwing him down with another suplex. Shelton finally gets smart by drawing Benoit in though and Angle’s low blow turns things around.

Charlie starts in on the arm while cranking on Benoit’s neck but a third suplex gets Benoit out of trouble again. The hot tag brings in Edge to clean house with his series of clotheslines but Shelton gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Kurt actually comes in to stomp away until he gets caught in the half nelson faceplant (which he over rotates, making it a half nelson backplant).

Benoit comes in and gets taken down for some right hands to the head. The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry so it’s back to Shelton. Edge comes in with a top rope clothesline for two but Angle sends him outside in a heap. The heels take over again with Shelton jumping over Charlie to crash down onto Edge’s back. Charlie gets two off a bulldog and Shelton grabs a chinlock. The Edge-o-Matic gets Edge out of trouble but Charlie breaks up a hot tag attempt. Angle gets in a few suplexes to keep Edge in trouble and the slow (not a bad thing) offense continues.

Now it’s time to roll the German suplexes but Angle takes too much time, allowing Edge to snap off a belly to belly of his own. Shelton breaks up the hot tag AGAIN, only to get kicked away for the tag to Benoit. Everything breaks down and that means a lot more suplexes. Angle tries to bring in the title but gets Crossfaced. Shelton makes a save but Benoit puts Kurt right back in…..for a DQ because Angle isn’t legal. That’s a bit confusing, especially when Benoit’s music doesn’t play at the bell.

Rating: B. I really liked the slow paced offense from the heels and the buffet of suplexes didn’t hurt either. This was a lot of fun with all five looking good. It’s also a smart move to have Angle get in the ring before Sunday to knock off any potential ring rust. Very entertaining match here, which is something this show needed in spades.

Angle taps as Edge dives onto Haas and Benjamin. Benoit unloads on Angle with the crutch to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event is good but it’s way too late to save this show. The funeral home stuff is more bizarrely terrible than anything else and you really wouldn’t know the Rumble was coming on Sunday without a few random ads for it. Other than Undertaker and whoever wins Lesnar vs. Big Show, almost no one on Smackdown looks to be any kind of a threat to win the thing. The focus is on everything else (basically the same on Raw) and that makes for a really weird set of shows leading up to the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 13, 2017
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank and instead of having a bunch of matches to set up the ladder match, let’s just have one match to set it up! This week it’s a six man tag as the participants try to build momentum, all while having JBL say that none of this actually matters as we head towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

New Day/Breezango vs. Colons/Usos

For those of you counting, this would be fourteen wrestlers in two matches. New Day is played to the ring by a live band for the sake of some New Orleans spirit. Before the match, Woods brags about potentially being cast in a very off Broadway version of Straight Out of Compton. This brings out the Usos to say they’re retaining the titles, only to have Breezango interrupt. They have a different view of the Usos: their day one wasn’t H but rather G, for GROSS. The Colons come out as well to say they have a break in the case. Big E.: “Now hold on sucker!” Threats of violence take us to the first break.

Fandango and Jey start things off but it’s off to Kofi vs. Epico with no offense. The good guys work on Epico’s arm with armdrags and elbows to the arm. A legdrop gives Fandango two but Breeze gets taken into the corner for the beatdown. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s off to Woods, who drops Breeze onto Primo for two. The Honor Roll drops Primo and everything breaks down with the good guys cleaning house to send us to a rather unnecessary break.

Back with Breeze in trouble and Jimmy hitting a running Umaga Attack in the corner. Breeze gets in a kick to the face but Epico dives over for the save. Fandango gets knocked off the apron and Breeze stays in trouble. Some superkicks finally get him out of trouble, followed by a clothesline that makes Epico DDT Primo by mistake (still perhaps the dumbest spot in all of wrestling). The hot tag brings in Woods and then Kofi to clean house as everything breaks down again. Something like a Demolition Decapitator with a stomp instead of an elbow puts Primo away at 14:27.

Rating: D+. This was much more long than good as they were clearly filling in time because they don’t have enough to fill in two hours, mainly thanks to having fourteen people in two matches. That being said, at least this actually had something to do with building momentum as a pinfall here does keep you rolling towards Sunday. I’m assuming Breezango vs. Colons could be added to the Kickoff Show at some point.

Sami Zayn is way too enthusiastic about the upcoming six man tag and talks strategy with AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura. AJ seems a bit disturbed by Sami’s energy. Nakamura: “I like him.” Styles: “You would.”

Mojo Rawley is disappointed in his loss last week and praises Jinder Mahal. Zack Ryder makes his return to encourage his buddy.

Naomi vs. Tamina

Non-title and Lana comes out to watch. Tamina takes her into the corner to start and we’re already into the neck crank. Naomi gets her head crushed in the corner and her kicks are cut off by a shove down. One heck of a clothesline gives Tamina two and it’s back to the chinlock. Naomi fights up with some kicks but walks into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Tamina heads up top but gets slammed down, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: D. The more I watch her, the more I think Tamina has no real reason to be around. She’s not imposing, she doesn’t have anything all that special in the ring and she doesn’t really have a character. She’s a warm body who can fill in a spot and I’d much rather have them develop someone interesting than leave her in there for such uninteresting matches.

Lana jumps Naomi after the match and gives her a sitout spinebuster.

Here’s Jinder Mahal for the big showdown with Randy Orton. After the long entrance, Mahal calls Orton a coward and says this is his era. Orton’s music hits and he comes through the crowd for an RKO. This feud continues to feel like nothing because Mahal feels like nothing, though his delivery has gotten better. He feels like he’s doing all the right things but that doesn’t make up for him having no background.

Owens, Corbin and Ziggler don’t trust each other but they’ll work together.

Randy Orton promises to win the title back.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Feeling out process to start as we see Becky Lynch watching in the back. We come back from a very early break with Charlotte being thrown shoulder first into the post. It doesn’t seem to do much though as she comes back with something like an exploder suplex, followed by a moonsault which actually connects. Charlotte heads up again but gets powerbombed down for two. A small package gives Natalya the same but it’s Natural Selection to give Charlotte the pin at 7:16.

Rating: C-. The moonsault and powerbomb looked good but if I have to hear them talking about building momentum one more time, I think my head is going to explode. It’s another good example of the one idea that they have going into a show and if you don’t like it, get over it because that’s what WWE has decided is the best thing they can do.

It’s Fashion Files time. Fandango is admiring his pecs and can’t wait to show them off to Breeze. We cut to an unconscious Breeze as the office seems to have been wrecked again. Breeze was attacked by two greasy haired men with one arm. Breeze: “No, two arms!” Fandango draws some stick figures and Tyler says that’s them.

Video on a WWE fan who has survived liver disease.

Lana doesn’t care what people think about her because she can beat Naomi.

Kevin Owens/Dolph Ziggler/Baron Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn/AJ Styles

Non-title of course but MOMENTUM is on the line. Joined in progress with Ziggler being thrown to the ground, only to blast Nakamura with a dropkick. It’s off to Owens with forearms to the back and the heels take turns hammering away. We hit the chinlock for a bit until the hot tag brings in Sami as everything beaks down. Sami hits the flip dive onto Owens but Ziggler DDTs Styles to slow things down again.

We take a break and come back with Sami fighting up and getting clotheslined right back down. Owens’ backsplash hits knees but Corbin headbutts Sami in the chest to keep him in the wrong corner. Sami kicks Corbin in the face and dodges the other two before low bridging Corbin to the floor. Ziggler and Owens pull the partners to the floor though and there’s still no hot tag. A Helluva Kick out of nowhere puts Corbin away at 12:48.

Rating: C. Just a long six man here with the six people doing things to set up Sunday’s ladder match. Sami getting a pin on Corbin makes me more sure that Corbin is going to be the one winning the ladder match because if there’s one thing WWE loves to do, it’s put people down before giving them the big win, thinking it makes up for all the losses. The match was perfectly fine and above all else, Owens didn’t take yet another pin for a change.

Post match Owens brings in the ladder and the brawl breaks out. Corbin gets the better of it until Nakamura gets in a shot. Shinsuke takes everyone else down and climbs up to pull down the briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the show that I was dreading and it’s not all that surprising. They went with the “throw everyone together and call it developing the big match” formula here, which isn’t interesting and does nothing for the pay per view. At least it’s done now though, save for the following week when we do the exact same matches and call it fallout. I’m still interested in Sunday’s show, but only because of the ladders instead of the feuds and stories. That’s not good, and shows how ineffective the build to this show has been.

Results

New Day/Breezango b. Usos/Colons – Middle rope double stomp to Primo

Naomi b. Tamina – Split legged moonsault

Charlotte b. Natalya – Natural Selection

Sami Zayn/AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Baron Corbin/Dolph Ziggler/Kevin Owens – Helluva Kick to Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2003
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and tonight we’ll be finding out the fifteen Smackdown names in the match. Other than that though, we’re still building to Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle for Angle’s Smackdown World Title. It’s hard to say how they’ll build to that but given the show we’re on, I have a feeling tag matches are in store. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Paul Heyman challenging Brock Lesnar for a Royal Rumble match against Big Show. This resulted in Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore being massacred.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Rikishi

Show towers over Rikishi, which Cole seems to think is impressive. I don’t remember anyone ever accusing Rikishi of being overly tall so as usual, Cole seems to be babbling about nothing important. Rikishi actually knocks Show down to his knee but makes the mistake of trying a slam. A big boot gives Show two and we hit a very long abdominal stretch until Show gets caught holding the ropes. Show hits a clothesline and the chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D. They actually did something right with the booking here as while they did spend weeks having Rikishi go over John Cena and Bull Buchanan, Cena did get the pin last week and now Show gets to pin him. I’m not sure I would have had Rikishi beat Cena and Buchanan down after every match but he’s losing when he needs to be losing, which is what matters most.

Heyman promises to teach Lesnar a lesson by the end of the night.

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Cena raps about how he doesn’t like Chavo for various Mexican stereotypes, including getting mild sauce at Taco Bell and illegal immigration. That would warrant an official public apology today. Or given how Vince likes Trump, a major push. Chavo grabs a headscissors to start and Cena gets knocked out to the floor in a heap.

Back in and a belly to back suplex makes things even worse so Cena blasts him with the hard clothesline. Buchanan gets in a shot to the head so Eddie goes after him and fights off Cena for good measure. That means a dive from Chavo onto both guys and here are the referees to eject Eddie. Back in and Cena heads up top, only to get superplexed for two. Chavo tries a sunset flip but Cena drops down and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was ALL about Chavo here as Cena was only doing a few spots here and there in between all the shenanigans on the floor. At the end of the day though, Cena won the match and that’s where the future seems to be going. That being said, Los Guerreros have been turned face (at least in this match) and there was a lot more steam in their heel run. At least it was great while it lasted.

We recap last week’s wedding with Al Wilson missing most of his clothes.

And now, to the honeymoon suite with Dawn in lingerie, saying she’s exhausted. Al is an animal you see.

Raw Retro: Austin and the beer truck.

Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Matt, who has a heated toilet seat and likes pulp in his orange juice, isn’t getting a title shot because he’s over the cruiserweight limit. Well that and Kidman NEVER DEFENDS THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE. A headscissors and dropkick have Matt in trouble to start and suggests that Kidman was watching the previous match. Matt bends his neck across the rope and Shannon’s interference lets the Ricochet (suplex into a side slam) get two.

We hit a sleeper exchange until Kidman grabs a Bodog for a breather. Matt is sent outside next to Shannon so Kidman hits a shooting star onto both of them with his head slamming into Shannon’s. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but the middle rope legdrop misses. Matt gets rammed into the little MF’er and Kidman’s rollup is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. That shooting star to the floor looked great and it’s nice to see Kidman getting a win. The cruiserweight division is such a disaster at this point that there’s no much that can be done for it without bringing in some fresh talent. Would it really hurt them to try having Shannon in there? Have him win the title and see Matt freak out because Moore has a title and he doesn’t?

Post match Matt says that was an accident and asks for a round of applause for Shannon.

Lesnar is here.

Edge was in Seattle to get ready for the start of Wrestlemania ticket sales.

Torrie Wilson calls last week’s wedding disgusting and tasteless. Dawn vs. Torrie is confirmed for the first ever Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter match. Josh describes this as a Cinderella story. Torrie says that if there was a glass slipper……”Well, where I plan to put it, it won’t fit!”. I would pay so much to see the pitches about keeping this story going. Other than Vince laughing at it, how could it possibly continue?

Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Thankfully it’s not a headscissors into a dropkick this time as Jamie forearms him in the back instead. The Tarantula is broken up and Noble drops him onto the barricade instead. Back in and Noble starts in on the arm instead of Tajiri’s bad ankle. Tajiri fights out of a top wristlock and kicks at the ribs before rolling Noble all the way around into a sunset flip for two.

A great looking German suplex gives Tajiri two and the handspring elbow is good for the same. Jamie is right back up with the Trailer Hitch (a complicated leglock that looked great) but a rope is quickly grabbed. The leg is fine enough for the Tarantula, followed by a superkick to knock Noble out of the air. The Buzzsaw Kick puts Noble away.

Rating: B. They were WORKING here and continue to show why they should both be near the Cruiserweight Title instead of having a meaningless (yet awesome) match here. That’s quite the five minute performance and Tajiri’s kicks look as good as ever. Noble had something with that Trailer Hitch but he almost never used it. Either of these two against Kidman would be fine.

Angle fires up his team.

Nathan Jones is coming soon. He’d be leaving just as fast, though the video made him look interesting.

Charlie Haas vs. Edge

I like the fact that they’re having Haas and Benjamin wrestle singles matches instead of just teaming together. Making them feel like threats on their own can make them all the better as a team. The bell rings and here’s Chris Benoit to cancel out Angle and Benjamin. Charlie takes him down to start and easily throws Edge off for trying a hold of his own. A drop toehold into an armbar works a bit better for Edge and the half nelson facebuster is good for two.

Back up and Haas grabs a belly to belly for two before grabbing a double arm crank. A German suplex gives Charlie two more as Angle is playing a great cheerleader on the floor. Unfortunately he’s too busy cheering to tell Charlie about Edge grabbing a belly to belly of his own to put both guys down.

The Edge-o-Matic is good for two and the flapjack makes things even worse. Benoit goes after Angle for some reason so Shelton superkicks him down. The spear drops Charlie but Angle makes the save at two. Kurt isn’t done as he hits Edge in the back with a crutch, setting up an exploder suplex (without much explosion) to give Haas the pin.

Rating: C+. Even if Haas doesn’t get another win for a good while, now he’s got this one which is all he needs to do to get over in the early going. Haas and Benjamin are going to be fine when they start doing regular tag matches and there’s nothing wrong with that. It helps that Charlie has been in developmental for so long because he’s already solid in the ring. Imagine that: developmental getting you ready for the main roster.

Benoit grabs the mic and says time is running out on Angle because he’s tapping at the Royal Rumble. Since Kurt is still injured, send Benjamin down here RIGHT NOW.

Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin

Everyone else has been sent to the back. This was scheduled for later but the challenge was still good. They hit the mat to start and Benoit grabs an armdrag, which seems to fluster Benjamin. A very early Crossface attempt sends Benjamin to the ropes and it’s back to another standoff. They head outside with Shelton sending him back first into the barricade for two.

We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit, followed a northern lights suplex for two more. The comeback starts in a hurry with a clothesline into the rolling German suplexes to knock Shelton silly. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but here’s Angle with the other crutch for the DQ.

Rating: C. That’s the best option they had here as you don’t want the #1 contender losing but you also don’t want Shelton to lose his singles debut. It’s almost like they’ve started thinking this booking through instead of having everyone pin everyone until it doesn’t matter anymore.

Angle gets Crossfaced until the Haas and Edge come out. The bad guys clean house and Benoit gets his ankle locked.

So we’ve just had two good, mat based technical matches that helped set up a major World Title match. Now here are Dawn and Al in the shower with Al looking exhausted.

Shannon Moore vs. Bill DeMott

Matt sits in on commentary and says this was all Shannon’s idea. A hard headlock into a front facelock keeps Shannon down as Matt tells Cole about the virtues of Mattitude. Shannon fights back with a middle rope leg lariat but gets clotheslined out of the air. DeMott hits a gutwrench powerbomb for the pin because he can’t pick a finisher already.

Matt yells at Shannon for the loss and beats him up.

Undertaker video, this time set to the Ministry theme.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bull Buchanan

Los Guerreros jump Cena before more racial insensitivity can break out. Eddie hammers on Bull to start and the fans eat up his chest slap. Bull eventually clotheslines him down and stomps away in the corner as an EDDIE chant starts up. Oh yeah they’re full on faces. Something like a belly to back suplex drop sets up Buchanan’s top rope clothesline, which he seems to leave VERY short and is only saved by a timely camera cut.

A Chavo distraction lets Eddie chop away until a backdrop cuts him off again. Cena tries to interfere as well but Chavo hits him in the face with a title, leaving Eddie to show Bull how to properly do a belly to back suplex. The frog splash is good enough to put Buchanan away, drawing quite the positive reaction in the process.

Rating: C-. Buchanan’s near botches aside, this was a perfectly watchable match. The problem here is Buchanan really could be almost any given muscular big man and that’s going to catch up with him in a hurry. Eddie is more than capable of carrying almost anyone to a fine match and that’s what he did here, but Bull isn’t going to be in there with Guerrero all the time.

Dawn, in new lingerie, crawls over to Al and asks if he wants to play some more. Unfortunately, Al isn’t exactly responsive.

We run down the pay per view card without the promised fifteen names for the Rumble itself.

A-Train tells Big Show and Heyman to leave Lesnar alone tonight because he wants to solidify his reputation at Brock’s expense. This is a good example of why A-Train isn’t allowed to talk.

Another Nathan Jones video.

A-Train vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock shoves him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, only to have the chokebomb take him down without much effort. A good looking powerslam drops A-Train again though and it’s time for the first overhead belly to belly. We’ll make it three in a row until a headbutt cuts Brock off. Not that it matters as the F5 is enough to wrap A-Train up without much effort.

Rating: D+. They kept this very, very short here and that’s the right call. A-Train got in his big power moves and then ate the suplexes and F5 for the pin. There’s no need to do anything other than that and they had Lesnar look good by beating up a monster. Again, the smart booking here has carried the night and that’s a good thing.

Lesnar calls out Heyman and Big Show for his lesson. We see them heading to the ring but SURPRISE! The lesson is Brock can’t beat Big Show so they’re leaving.

Oh and Al, again in his briefs, is dead to end the show. You don’t see a character actually killed off in WWE but that’s about all this story deserves.

Overall Rating: B. Now that’s how you do a Smackdown. They kept things moving here and that made the show fly by. The Al Wilson stuff is stupid but it’s kind of hard to complain with Dawn there like she was. They advanced a bunch of stories here and, without actually announcing more than a few names for the Rumble, they’ve helped set up their side of the pay per view. The booking was good, the action was solid and the pacing was quick. What else can you ask for from a show?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2017
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

We’re two days past the most recent Raw pay per view and since this is WWE, that means we’re less than two weeks away from the next Smackdown pay per view. In this case that would be Money in the Bank, which means we’re getting more matches between all the participants. Tonight that would be Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kevin Owens which will be non-title because the belt means nothing at the moment. I mean, it would be asking too much to have the focus be on a ladder match and a title despite them having nothing to do with one another. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Shane McMahon announcing the first ever women’s Money in the Bank match.

The participants for the women’s match are in the ring as Shane comes out to open things up. Shane introduces everyone and unveils the women’s briefcase, which is white instead of red or blue. Everyone hits their catchphrases with Becky calling Natalya out for ripping off Bret’s famous line.

Naomi comes out to talk about how important this is but Lana cuts them off in a VERY nice blue dress. In short she wants in the match but Naomi breaks up laughing. Lana: “What’s so funny?” Naomi: “Bugs Bunny. And you.” Naomi doesn’t think Lana has done enough to warrant being in the title picture so Lana says she can beat the champ. Shane says no and sends her packing, drawing a WE WANT LANA chant.

Naomi/Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Carmella/Natalya/Tamina

Charlotte drops a knee on Natalya to start and stops to do the Carmella dance. It’s off to Becky to work on the arm, only to have Charlotte sent outside as we take a break less than three minutes in. Back with Natalya kicking Becky in the ribs but getting elbowed in the face, allowing the hot tag off to Naomi. House is cleaned with a series of kicks, including the dancing variety to Tamina. Naomi gets two off a springboard crossbody but here’s Lana to trip her up. Tamina uses the distraction to hit a superkick for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: D+. This was all about setting up Lana and there’s nothing wrong with that. Lana has the potential to be a major star and the division could certainly use some extra star power. The match was nothing to see, though Lana getting a future title shot could certainly be interesting.

Mojo Rawley gives Shane McMahon a speech about wanting a shot, mentioning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal win and defeating Jinder Mahal. Shane is willing to give him an opportunity to be in the ladder match if he can beat Mahal tonight. That’s fine with Mojo.

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rematch from last week where Ziggler won. Feeling out process to start with AJ working a headlock and shouldering Ziggler down. Ziggler gets in a dropkick of his own though and AJ is knocked outside as we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and getting two off a Fameasser. Ziggler’s superplex is broken up but so is the Phenomenal Forearm. Instead AJ sunset flips him for two and they hit a pinfall reversal sequence, only to have AJ reverse into the Styles Clash for the pin at 6:57.

Rating: C. You could have penciled in Styles winning the second this match was announced because that’s how the build to the Money in the Bank match works: one person wins to gain momentum, then they reverse the wins to put both guys back to even and then none of it matters because the surprise participant wins more often than not.

It’s Fashion Files time. Breeze is looking at the list of suspects when Fandango comes in. He took the bottle of cologne to the boys in the lab and found out that there are no boys and no lab. Fandango doesn’t think it’s cologne, which means it’s not the Colons’ cologne. They have no idea what’s going on, which means they’re getting close. We cut to New Day in the back and then coming into the office, where they become black and white. Big E. says they need help with a case. Breeze, thinking: “New Day, new case.”

Big E. isn’t sure if it’s a yes or a no because they’re not saying anything. They have a present for Breezango: rompers (a kind of zip up shirt). Fandango doesn’t like the fabric and says they don’t take bribes. Breeze has put his on though and Fandango thinks it looks pretty good. As for the case, New Day wants some information on the Usos. Breezango has three boxes of stuff and talk with their minds, sending New Day walking away awkwardly. Breezango, again thinking: “New case rocks!”

Mojo Rawley vs. Jinder Mahal

Non-title and a win sends Mojo to the Money in the Bank ladder match. Mahal has a VERY long entrance so Mojo shoulders him to the floor to start. Back in and Mojo hits a hard clothesline, only to have one of the Singh Brothers offer a distraction. Mahal gets in a kick to the face to take over before sending Mojo shoulder first into the post. The Khallas gives Jinder the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D. Well that was the same Mahal match you would expect on Main Event but now he’s the World Champion. As usual, that’s my biggest issue with him: he’s so average that it’s almost unthinkable to have him as World Champion. Even Justin Credible, who would have been the poster boy for that kind of champion before Mahal won, had some good charisma. Mahal is just dull and average, which isn’t worth watching.

Post match Mahal says he dismantled Mojo’s dreams, just like he’ll do to Orton at Money in the Bank.

Orton is ready to win his title back.

Shinsuke Nakamura video, featuring him painting.

New Day vs. Colons

Kofi is on the floor this time as Primo wristlocks Woods to start. Xavier fights out and hits a discus forearm before bringing in Big E. We get stereo abdominal stretches and take another early break. Back with Woods hitting a missile dropkick and bringing Big E. back in to clean house. A big flip dive takes Epico out and the Midnight Hour is enough to finish Primo at 7:26.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to remind us that New Day is a good team. It makes sense to put them in the title match this soon, even though they don’t need to win the belts for a long time, or ever really. The Colons are good for the heel jobber tag team roles and the match served its purpose just fine.

Post match the Usos come out to call New Day old news. Jey has jokes about all three of them, including asking if E. is an initial or a bra size. Oh and Woods has weird shoes.

Sami Zayn has been watching a lot of footage of his opponents to get ready for the ladder match. He thinks Nakamura is the big threat to win and that’s why he’ll be on commentary for the main event. Cue Baron Corbin to hit Zayn with a ladder.

Naomi demands that Shane give her a match with Lana at Money in the Bank. She’s willing to put the title on the line so Shane makes the match.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title and Corbin is on commentary instead of Sami. Feeling out process to start until Nakamura kicks him out to the floor. We take an early break and come back with Owens kicking Nakamura down for a chinlock. Nakamura fights up with some elbows and the running knee into the corner. The reverse exploder is countered but Owens hits the Cannonball. It’s too early for the Pop Up Powerbomb though as Nakamura fights out and kicks Owens in the head. Now the exploder connects and the Kinshasa knocks Owens silly for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: D+. That would be three weeks in a row that Nakamura has pinned Owens and we’re still waiting on the first mention of the US Title. The Title doesn’t matter though because “building momentum” is all that matters at this point. That’s the one idea and if the US Title has to be punched in the face to accomplish it, that’s just what we’re going to do.

Oh and in case you thought that win mattered, Corbin lays Nakamua out with End of Days.

Overall Rating: D. When did Smackdown get this boring? You have the entire midcard trading wins in the name of building momentum, even though JBL flat out said that getting a pinfall has nothing to do with climbing a ladder. The US Title might as well be a participation ribbon and Jinder Mahal is World Champion. Oh and the women are doing the same thing the men are doing and it’s roughly about as interesting. When is Money in the Bank again so we can get back to something interesting?

Results

Tamina/Carmella/Natalya b. Naomi/Charlotte/Becky Lynch – Superkick to Charlotte

AJ Styles b. Dolph Ziggler – Styles Clash

Jinder Mahal b. Mojo Rawley – Khallas

New Day b. Colons – Midnight Hour to Primo

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: January 2, 2003
Location: Tingley Coliseum, Albuquerque, New Mexico
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for a new year with a special live show. The big deal tonight is the wedding between Al Wilson and Dawn Marie, which should hopefully be a big step towards finally ending this stupid storyline. The thing won’t go away and unfortunately it’s going towards another Torrie vs. Dawn match. Let’s get to it.

A narrated opening video talks about Brock Lesnar making his return to the ring tonight. Another voice talks about the wedding, which really does seem to be the bigger deal.

Opening sequence, which includes several shots of Stephanie.

Here are John Cena and Bull Buchanan to rap about Rikishi being fat.

John Cena vs. Rikishi

Rikishi punches him down to start as it’s very weird to see Cena in wrestling boots with the (khaki) shorts. Cena gets thrown outside for a bit, followed by a legdrop for two back inside. Buchanan offers a cheap shot on the floor and Cena takes over as Cole says we’ll start the Royal Rumble participants next week. Those are always fun, even if the show is old. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Rikishi fights up with a Faarooq spinebuster. The referee is with Buchanan though, meaning Rikishi has to beat him up too. Cena shoves the referee away and rolls Rikishi up (with Rikishi’s feet in the ropes) for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was nothing to see but the result is the right call. I’ve complained for months about Rikishi being pushed far too strong so it’s nice to see him finally lose a match to someone, even in a bit of a weak finish. Either way, it’s a good thing to see Cena getting a win as the raps are getting more entertaining week after week.

Rikishi beats them up post match.

Here’s Dawn Marie, in her wedding dress, with something to say. She’s going to be getting married tonight because she’s such a beautiful bride. Oh and she’ll do it without clothes. No, she won’t.

Stephanie is in the back and goes into Dawn’s locker room to say she can’t be married without any clothes on. So she’s stopping a woman from taking off her clothes but is also stopping a heel from doing what she wants. As usual, I have no idea what Stephanie is supposed to be. Repercussions are promised but Dawn hints that she’ll do it anyway.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott runs him over to start and shrugs off a clothesline. A screaming splash in the corner keeps Palumbo in trouble as Cole talks about Bill wanting to step up in WWE. Chuck’s comeback is cut off by a shot to the back of the head. That goes so well that they do the same thing again, followed by DeMott hitting a reverse DDT for the pin. Was there really anything wrong with the powerbomb or moonsault?

Rating: D. So is this DeMott push going anywhere? I mean, I can’t imagine that it will but it would be nice to tease that it’s going to instead of just doing the squash matches over and over. At least they let him stop beating up cruiserweights and went with someone who wasn’t going to be hurt by the loss.

Undertaker is coming back at the Royal Rumble. Every clip of him in this video is the Deadman version.

Billy Kidman (who I had almost forgotten was Cruiserweight Champion) runs into Torrie Wilson for the patented awkward conversation. They talk about the wedding and Kidman acts it out for some reason. So he’s making fun of her father and reminding Torrie that her dad is marrying someone she hates.

Kurt Angle isn’t worried about who Chris Benoit picks to face Team Angle tonight because he’ll still be champion after the Royal Rumble. This place is about wrestling and the three of them are the best in the world. If Benoit ever did wrestle in college, it was probably at the University of Saskatchewan and he couldn’t even make the practice squad.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title again and Eddie has gotten one heck of a haircut. Eddie gets monkey flipped to start so he snaps off a fall away slam into a bridge for two. We hit an armbar as Cena and Buchanan come out to say he’s about to crack the Guerreros and make huevos rancheros. After a few Taco Bell jokes, Chavo goes after Buchanan in the ring and a fight breaks out.

Rikishi comes in for the save and is taken away as we take a break. Back with Rikishi still being held back, Chavo and Buchanan ejected, Cena on commentary talking about how he’s harder than ring tones and Eddie hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A Gory Stretch into a spinning powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Eddie backdrops him to the floor and Cena threatens to hit Cole in, what sounded like, his foolbox.

Kidman fights out of a sleeper but takes too long going up top and gets superplexed right back down. The Frog Splash misses though and Kidman hits the BK Bomb for two. A high crossbody gives Kidman two but they ram heads in the corner, allowing Cena to hit Eddie in the head with the chain. Kidman didn’t see it and hits the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: B-. It looks like they’re trying to turn Los Guerreros face, which they would be due to how strong they’ve been recently anyway, but I’m not sure if it’s the best move to just change them up this fast. At least Kidman finally won something, even though that Cruiserweight Title means less and less every single week. As usual, Kidman has shown he can hang with heavyweights but is apparently on top of the nothing division an in way over his head anywhere else.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

WAY too long package on the buildup to the wedding. As I’ve mentioned many times, I still have no idea why this is a bad thing for Al.

It’s wedding time. Al comes out looking like he’s trying to look classy in Hawaii, Dawn is in her dress and the minister sounds like Slick. We hit the objection line and Dawn does indeed object. She wanted to take everything off but instead strips to her underwear. The thing is no one ever said AL couldn’t be married sans clothing so let’s take a long time stripping him as well. With a straight on camera shot of Al in briefs, they’re married and Al is kissed to the ground. That’s it. No angle, no Torrie, no interruption. Just a wedding and that’s it. This has been a major waste of your time.

Chris Benoit/??? vs. Team Angle

Benoit can pick any partner he wants and one of the big drawing points of this show has been the return of Brock Lesnar. We also saw a video on Lesnar and Brock has issues with Angle. Therefore, the partner is Edge. Not a bad choice but not exactly where the signs were pointing.

Benoit and Haas get things going with Chris running him over a few times and handing it off to Shelton. That means a quick Crossface before it’s off to Edge to stomp away in the corner. Haas offers a distraction from the apron though and Team Angle takes over for the first time…..in their careers I guess.

Shelton gets two off a suplex and it’s off to the chinlock. A cheap shot from Angle sets up the first suplex from Haas for two. Charlie drapes Edge over the ropes so Shelton can jump over his back and land on Edge. Eh the Beverly Brothers already did it. We hit the Haas of Pain but Benoit makes a quick save.

The half nelson faceplant drops Shelton and the hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house. The suplexes are unleashed and Benoit nails the Swan Dive to Shelton for two. Everything breaks down with Team Angle taking stereo rolling German suplexes until Angle pulls Edge outside. Benoit Crossfaces Shelton, drawing Angle in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I would have given Team Angle some more offense though they certainly didn’t look weak. The DQ finish protects Benoit and keeps the new team looking strong enough. All that matters here is that Angle now has some backup and hopefully we can keep him FAR away from Big Show.

Angle beats up Tony Chimmel until he announces Team Angle as the winners.

Post break, Paul Heyman is in the ring to brag about how awesome his clients are. That brings him to Lesnar, and it’s time for Big Show. Heyman gets right to the point: he wants Big Show vs. Lesnar with the winner going into the Royal Rumble and the loser being left out. Since it’s Heyman, this takes a lot longer than it needs to. Cue Lesnar but Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore jump him from behind with a chair. One shot busts Brock open BAD from the back of his head as the villains run off.

Dawn and Al, still in their underwear, go to the limo. You mean they haven’t left yet? Anyway, they have a camera to film their honeymoon.

Crash vs. Nunzio

Josh Matthews has replaced Chimmel as ring announcer and looks even dumber than usual. Crash comes in with a high crossbody for two and then the opening bell rings. That’s not the most competent referee. Nunzio goes after the arm with a quick armbar and something like a Stunner onto the arm. A rollup gives Crash two but the kickout sends his shoulder into the post. The DDT on the arm (flying armbar) is good enough to give Nunzio the pin.

Matt gives Shannon a pep talk.

Matt Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is in a t-shirt and workout pants. Matt, who always stays awake until sunrise on New Year’s Eve, tries to have Shannon get in some cheap shots but the still bloody Brock cleans house anyway. A great looking backbreaker sets up a belly to belly, followed by some powerslams into the corner. Shannon’s distraction works as well as you would expect though it does allow Matt to hit a Side Effect. That just earns him a belly to belly, followed by Shannon being thrown on top of Matt. A release F5 plants Moore but Brock walks into the Twist of Fate for two. The F5 finishes Matt a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. It’s very fun to watch Lesnar destroy people like they’re not even there and if he can do two at once, that’s even better. It was entertaining and a good use of Matt and Shannon, both of whom will be over again as soon as Matt does another over the top promo about how awesome Mattitude really is.

Show comes out for the staredown, earning Matt another F5 to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling in the middle helps but so much of this show was dominated by the wedding nonsense. Dawn Marie is good looking but she is nowhere near enough to save this story. I still don’t know why it’s still going but I’m sure we’ll be seeing another big part of it next week, eventually leading to Dawn vs. Torrie again.

Other than that we had Bill DeMott and Rikishi getting featured spots. They’re building some acts up (Los Guerreros, Cena, Team Angle) and that can lead them to a lot of good places in the future. This wasn’t a horrible show but there’s no way around that wedding, which ate up more than almost any given match. I’m sure it’s a Vince thing but this is the funniest thing he can get behind?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: May 30, 2017
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

You might have heard about this one before but tonight has a Fatal Five Way for a future title shot. In this case it’s the Smackdown Women’s Title as Charlotte, Becky Lynch and the Welcoming Committee will go at it for a shot at Naomi at the upcoming Money in the Bank pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Charlotte says she’s ready to face anyone.

Carmella will make a fabulous champion.

Natalya says her one and only catchphrase which isn’t even hers.

Becky Lynch doesn’t need the luck of the Irish to win.

Tamina says she’ll win.

Opening sequence.

We open with Kevin Owens’ Highlight Reel with Owens talking about how he’s going to climb the ladder for the briefcase. After winning that, it’s one step away from the Smackdown World Title, which will make him the face of the entire WWE. One thing he needs to step on before he gets there is his guest tonight: Shinsuke Nakamura. Owens calls Shinsuke a rock star and you remember what happened to the last rock star around here. If Nakamura shows up at Money in the Bank with the fans singing his song, it’s going to be the day the music died.

This brings out Baron Corbin to show a clip of his beatdown of Sami Zayn. Owens: “I’ve been beating up Sami Zayn for fifteen years so you’ve got nothing to brag about.” Nakamura says he pinned Owens last week and Corbin has lost to Sami twice in a row. The brawl is on with Sami coming in for the save. A challenge is issued and the tag match is on after the break.

Sami Zayn/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin/Kevin Owens

Nakamura sends Corbin into the corner to start and tells him to bring it. That earns Corbin some Good Vibrations in the corner before it’s off to both partners. Sami sends Owens outside so it’s back to Corbin to hammer away in the corner. Owens adds a kick to the head and Baron grabs a powerslam as we take a break.

Back with Sami fighting out of Owens’ chinlock and hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb. Corbin gets dropped as well and the hot tag brings in Nakamura. Everything breaks down and we get some heel miscommunication, causing Corbin to deck Owens with a right hand. Kinshasa makes things even worse for Owens and is good for the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C+. At least there were extenuating circumstances this time. You really don’t need to have the US Champion losing so often but you know full well that everything is going to be sacrificed for the sake of building to the Money in the Bank ladder match in the only way this company knows how to do it.

Here are the Usos to brag about beating American Alpha and Breezango so no one is left. As you might expect (or should expect if you’ve been paying attention), heeeeere’s New Day. Jey: “Did you three get lost skipping down the Yellow Brick Road?” Kofi: “It’s more of a skip clap.” Big E. gets right to the point: they want the titles. The Usos threaten to shoot New Day so Kofi brings up Shane McMahon, who has granted them a title shot at Money in the Bank. The Usos leave as Big E. and Woods carry Kofi around. This did exactly what it needed to do.

Long recap of Jinder Mahal winning the title and all the fallout that ensued.

It’s Fashion Files time with Fandango as a film noir style gumshoe saying that it might be time to go back to the discount rack. He finds the fashion police department ransacked so he pulls out his price tag gun, only to find a woman’s silhouette. It’s Breeze in a wig and dress for some reason and, after realizing they can hear each others thoughts, they find a bottle containing ethanol alcohol, tree frog excrement and hibiscus. They have a new case.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Natalya vs. Tamina

Elimination rules and the winner gets Naomi at the pay per view. The brawl starts before the bell with Tamina hitting a Samoan drop on Charlotte. Becky beats up Carmella in the timekeeper’s area and Charlotte hits the moonsault onto Tamina and Natalya. Charlotte powerbombs Natalya through the table and everyone is down with the match never starting.

Cue Shane to say let’s do something big, like the first ever women’s Money in the Bank ladder match. In other words, we have no idea how to book a solo feud so let’s just throw everyone into one match and put our feet up while saying the big matches are coming later on. That’s the writers’ solution instead of, you know, WRITING SOMETHING ELSE.

Breezango vs. Colons

Breezango is still wearing the same stuff from the film noir bit, including Breeze in the dress. Primo rips off the dress and the wig (because of course there’s a wig) but Fandango squirts Primo with the water gun. Back from a break with Fandango in a chinlock, followed by Epico getting two off a Downward Spiral. Epico pulls Breeze off the apron so he bails under the ropes, only to come back as the janitor. Fandango and Epico fight over the mop, allowing Breeze to grab the Unprettier for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match to keep Breezango going strong. I know the comedy isn’t the best stuff in the world but the division is REALLY weak on teams at this point so putting a gimmick on two guys is one of the best things they could do. It’s not brilliant or anything but at least they’re doing something. If it gets over, sweet.

AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler are ready to fight tonight.

Here’s Randy Orton to talk about Jinder Mahal. His family is full of wrestlers and if his grandfather was still alive, he wouldn’t say anything to Randy. Instead he’d just smack Orton for losing a title to someone like Mahal. At Money in the Bank, Orton is going to take a lesson from his grandfather and smack some sense into Mahal. Cue Mahal on the screen to say he’s champion and Orton isn’t. Orton poses like it doesn’t mean anything.

Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process to start with AJ scoring off a great looking dropkick to take over. Ziggler sends him outside though and we take a break. Back with AJ hitting his seated forearm and a Tesshocker for two. Ziggler knees him in the head, only to get suplexed hard into the corner. AJ gets in a backbreaker but Ziggler hits him in the back of the head for something you don’t see too often.

A running knee to the jaw drops AJ again but he comes right back with the Calf Crusher. Ziggler rakes the eyes (like a true heel should) for the break, followed by the Zig Zag for a delayed two. AJ gets back up and tries a springboard, only to get pulled down for a crash. The superkick is good for the pin on AJ at 12:13. Did I mention that AJ was billed as the hometown boy here?

Rating: C+. Standard Smackdown main event as they try to push Ziggler for some momentum. I’m still not sure how winning a match via pinfall gives you the momentum necessary to climb a ladder but then again I’ve never been the biggest fan of this time of the year in the first place.

Overall Rating: D+. Yep it’s Money in the Bank time, meaning we can stop pretending that ANY of this matters because the writers have come up with their group of names, thrown them into a random match generator and put their feet up until the end of June. We’re currently looking at THREE multi-person matches, none of which are for anything more than a future shot at a title. In other words, absolutely none of this matters so check back again in July so you can see them stall even more until Summerslam rolls around.

Results

Sami Zayn/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin – Kinshasa to Owens

Breezango b. Colons – Unprettier to Primo

Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles – Superkick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2002
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show of the year as we’re getting ready to start the build towards the Royal Rumble. We also have Brock Lesnar vs. Paul Heyman/Big Show/Kurt Angle in a feud that is likely to lead to a major feud down the line, though Lesnar is likely going to need some help along the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle heel turn and the announcement of Angle vs. Big Show for the title this week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie, who seems to be a face again, to open the show. She’s not going to lie to us and say the World Title match is going to happen because it’s been canceled. Last week, after Smackdown went off the air, Brock did something to Angle and now Kurt is out of action for a good while, potentially all the way until the Rumble. She won’t tell us what happened but she’ll show us later tonight. Since there’s no reason given for the delay, here’s Big Show to interrupt.

He’s not happy with the idea of waiting until Royal Rumble but he’s even more annoyed at the fact that Stephanie didn’t name him #1 contender. She was just about to make that match though, RIGHT? Show tries to intimidate her and for once, Stephanie actually sounds scared as she threatens to suspend him. He’ll have a chance to be #1 contender when he faces Chris Benoit in the main event. That’s not cool with Show either but here’s Benoit to interrupt. Benoit says he’ll break Show’s neck later tonight but Show plays the size card. That just earns him a low blow and Benoit leaves with a smile on his face.

Crash vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott is now all mean and angry, which the announcers tell you as often as they can. He works on Crash’s arm before the match and sends it into the post but of course the referee starts the match anyway. DeMott slaps on an armbar as Tazz praises his psychology. A powerbomb and the moonsault finish Crash in a hurry.

Al Wilson and Dawn Marie exchange gifts: a bottle of Viagra and a camera. Both are for the honeymoon. Again: why is this such a bad thing for Al? Can I get some clarification on that?

Here are Matt Hardy, who was MVP in the 1999 No Mercy ladder match and always sticks to his New Year’s resolution, and a badly damaged Shannon Moore with something to say. They want to talk about something destroying WWE: Brock Lesnar. After that belly to belly injured Moore last week, Shannon didn’t stop but someone must stop Lesnar. Next week, Hardy wants Brock one on one and has a special plan for him. Matt beats Shannon down, though it feels like a lesson instead of a turn.

Heyman and Angle arrive with the latter on crutches and with a big cast around his leg.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Billy Kidman

Edge and Kidman, who seems to get a shot at these titles every other week, are challenging. Kidman hiptosses both champs to start before snapping off a headscissors on Chavo. The champs take over with some chicanery and it’s Kidman in early trouble. Eddie’s slingshot hilo connects but so does an enziguri, allowing the tag to Edge. A double missile dropkick puts both champs down and a flapjack to Chavo makes things even worse.

As usual though, Eddie is smart enough to go after the bad knee but Kidman breaks up the Lasso From El Paso. A quick spear gets two on Eddie and the champs tease leaving, only to have the referee say a countout will give us new champions. Back from a break with Edge missing a charge into the corner to put the champs back in control. Chavo’s chinlock works as well as any other chinlock (aside from Kevin Owens’ of course) and the Edge-O-Matic gets Edge out of trouble.

A double flapjack really gets him out of trouble and it’s off to Kidman, who is suplexed down almost immediately. Eddie misses the Frog Splash and Kidman drops the shooting star on Chavo, only to have Eddie pull the referee out for the DQ. And again never mind as the referee is restarting this as a No DQ match.

Chavo is in trouble to start the second fall but Eddie breaks up another shooting star attempt. Edge hits Chavo with the belt (which Chavo brought in) for two and heads to the apron for a tag for some reason. Cue A-Train with the backbreaker on Edge though, allowing Eddie to Frog Splash Kidman to retain.

Rating: B. Gah they were rolling here until the A-Train interference. Edge vs. A-Train isn’t interesting but these four going on for nearly twenty minutes certainly was with Los Guerreros’ cheating not working for a change. I was digging this match as Kidman continues to show that cruiserweights are more than capable of hanging with the big guys, making the division kind of a waste of time.

Here’s the footage from after last week’s Smackdown. Angle talks trash and beat on Brock bit more until Lesnar fought back and beat up Kurt and Big Show. Kurt took a chair to the head and back to back F5’s on the floor with his knee hitting the post both times. Trainers came out but Lesnar dropped Angle’s knee onto the barricade just to be sure. This would be a way to write Angle off for knee surgery, which makes you wonder why they put the title on him in the first place. Then again, an injured Angle is probably worth more than Big Show at this point.

Back from a break with Heyman in the ring to blame Stephanie for Kurt’s injuries. This brings out Angle on crutches to compare his rookie year to Lesnar. They both won the World Title in their first year but Angle did it without Heyman helping him out. Kurt: “AND I’M AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST! WHO SUCKS NOW???” Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Angle has an agent because he’s a very important person. More importantly though, he’s the kind of man that Lesnar could never be. He’ll defend the title at the Royal Rumble and then he’ll take Lesnar down like the punk that he is.

Heyman agrees, but he has a surprise for Kurt: Team Angle. That would be Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, a pair of All-American wrestlers, with Shelton being Brock’s former roommate at the University of Minnesota. Angle tells Lesnar that’s checkmate. This is a great idea and something that could do a lot of good. If Team Angle is kept strong, they could be a great addition to the tag division, which suddenly needs a burst of energy. The segment was long but it did its job, which is far more important.

B-2 vs. Rikishi

Cena’s rap says that B-2 is the physical version of R2-D2. Rikishi sends B-2 into the steps before the bell as Cena sits in on commentary. That lasts all of ten seconds until he gets up to break up the Stinkface. Back in and Buchanan (mostly) hits his top rope spinning clothesline. Cena tries to bring in a chair but uses the distraction to throw B-2 the chain. That just earns B-2 a superkick and the Rump Shaker for the pin.

Torrie Wilson isn’t sure she’ll be here for the wedding. Her dad comes up to yell at her for being selfish and says he’s getting married next week no matter what. After the wedding, he and Dawn are going to have a child and he hopes it won’t be a disappointment like her.

Los Guerreros celebrate their win when they run into Cena and B-2. Eddie and Chavo speak Spanish but Cena goes into a rap. Eddie mocks Cena’s voice and says they still have the title. This was completely bizarre and yet still rather funny.

Benoit says he’ll win and then go on to win the World Title that has always eluded him.

Angle fires Big Show up.

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

The winner gets Angle at the Rumble. Show doesn’t waste time by throwing Benoit into the corner, followed by a big boot to make things even worse. Benoit chops away and tries the Crossface but gets tossed away with ease. More power offense sends Benoit flying into the corner before Show pulls off a turnbuckle pad. Benoit goes for the knee for a breather, followed by muscling Show up for a German suplex. The Swan Dive (a splash this time as Show is too close to the corner) gets two but the chokeslam is countered into a rollup (with feet on the ropes, though it might not have been intentional) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as good as Big Show throwing Benoit around for a few minutes before getting caught at the end was going to be. Benoit as the #1 contender is a great thing and the story of him never winning the title is a strong story. The match wasn’t bad and they made sure to keep it short to make sure Big Show didn’t mess anything up.

Show tries a chokeslam but gets countered into the Crossface (I always love that counter). Cue Team Angle for the superkick into a German suplex and the debut of the Haas of Pain (kind of a Liontamer/Indian deathlock combo). Show adds a chokeslam as the fans don’t get their requested Brock. Angle comes out to talk trash and chokes Benoit with a crutch to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were very heavy on the storylines this week with several long explanations about what’s going on in the main event. However, we also got a long title match, a World Title match set up for a month away and the debut of a new team. They covered a lot of stuff tonight and that’s the best thing you could have after the mess that Raw has become.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: May 23, 2017
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Somehow we’re living in Jinder Mahal’s WWE, which could mean several things. First of all, we’re in for a Punjabi celebration tonight, which could mean a good number of possibilities. On top of that Mahal needs a challenger, who is likely to be Randy Orton in a rematch. We’re also about a month away from Money in the Bank so it could be time to set up the ladder match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Backlash with Mahal winning the title.

Mahal and the Singh Brothers arrive with a police escort and the champ having a rug laid out for him. So…..yeah he really is the new JBL, complete with his own Bashams.

Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up. He’s impressed that Mahal won the title but we need to move forward. First of all, Randy Orton is cashing in his rematch contract at Money in the Bank in his hometown of St. Louis, Missouri. On that same show we’ll be having the Money in the Bank ladder match and it’s already time to announce the five (SWEET) competitors: AJ Styles, Baron Corbin, Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler and…..someone other than Kevin Owens, who comes out here despite Shane saying he’s not in the match.

The actual fifth entrant is Shinsuke Nakamura but Owens isn’t cool with being left out because he beat Styles at Backlash and AJ is in the field. Maybe he’s not in there because Shane is jealous of Owens beating AJ when Shane couldn’t do it. Shane actually agrees and makes Owens the sixth entrant. Corbin tells Owens to stop talking and promises to win. AJ says his catchphrase because this house isn’t being blown down by a lone wolf. He calls Owens WWE’s Eric Cartman and says he doesn’t care who he has to beat.

Sami can’t say much as Corbin cuts him off and calls him the Rudy of Smackdown Live. That sounds like Corbin wants a rematch but Owens and Ziggler get in an argument before anything can happen. Dolph promises to win again but Nakamura introduces himself as Mr. Money in the Bank. Shane makes AJ/Nakamura vs. Owens/Ziggler and Zayn vs. Corbin for tonight.

Natalya/Carmella vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Carmella headlocks Becky to start but a dropkick sends Carmella outside for a break. Back with Charlotte coming in off the hot tag and cleaning house, only to get dropped by some double teaming. Naomi dives onto Tamina and it’s back to Becky for a quick Disarm-Her and the tap at 7:40.

Rating: D+. Some might call this fine, but I’d like to think I can come up with something a little better than that. If nothing else it seems like a waste of time as they might as well have just done this on Sunday if they’re going to beat the Welcoming Committee this easily. The stable (if you can call it that) continues to be nothing more than a way to fill in time and the alliance of heroes is pretty clearly only there for the sake of waiting around until they all fight each other.

Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

Neither gets an entrance…..and Sami rolls him up for the pin at 21 seconds. They were on a roll for the first half and it was looking like it had serious potential but that next six seconds just fell apart. At least they fixed it in the end.

Corbin beats the heck out of him after the match, including crushing his head against the top of the barricade with a series of elbows. Sami does a stretcher job.

AJ thanks Nakamura for what he taught him in Japan but now they’re both going after the same thing. At Money in the Bank, Nakamura is going to turn AJ’s house into his playground.

It’s time for the final Fashion Files, which takes place in Shane’s office (including a wanted poster, accusing the Mean Street Posse of gang activity). Breeze brings in his stuff and thinks they’re fired. They even turn in their (squirt) guns and a bunch of cleaning supplies. Shane: “You do know that you’re not real cops right?” Fandango: “That’s what my dad tells me.” Breeze takes his pants off but Shane says they’re having singles matches against the Usos tonight. They’re back on the case and Fandango takes a doughnut.

Here’s the Punjabi celebration, complete with a band and dancers. Mahal says 1.3 billion people are celebrating the new champion and the Americans hate him because he’s different. He’s proven everyone wrong and showed that India is on the rise while America is in decline. We hear some Punjabi and fireworks go off with no one interfering to wrap it up.

Lana is still coming.

Jey Uso vs. Tyler Breeze

Tyler still has his bag of stuff…..and rolls Jey up for the pin at 23 seconds after spraying him with the squirt gun. So he shot on Jey?

Jimmy Uso vs. Fandango

Breeze puts on a wig and gets Jey to chase him into the ring, allowing Fandango to roll Jimmy up for the pin at 44 seconds.

Fandango: “You Usos look like you just got caught wearing white after Labor Day.” Breeze wants a rematch for the titles, which is actually on right now.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Breezango

The Usos are defending and we’re joined in progress with Fandango coming in off the hot tag. A tornado DDT/dropkick combination gets two on Jey but it’s quadruple superkicks to set up the Superfly Splash, only to hit Fandango’s knees. Jey gets small packaged for two and the Last Dance crushes Jimmy, only to have Jey hit the Superfly splash for the pin to retain at 2:48 shown. So to recap, the champs lose on joke finishes and then the popular act loses a short match after losing their big title shot two days ago. Yeah I’m sure this kind of booking has nothing to do with the ratings being so bad. Clearly just the NBA.

Natalya comes in to Shane’s office and demands a title shot. The rest of the Welcoming Committee, Becky and Charlotte come in with the same demands. A big argument breaks out (because that’s what women do, at least in WWE’s eyes) so Shane makes a fatal five way #1 contenders match for next week.

Kevin Owens/Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura

That argument cost us AJ/Nakamura’s entrances. AJ shoves Ziggler around to start before it’s off to Nakamura vs. Owens, which the fans certainly seem to enjoy. Some early strikes put Owens on the floor but the threat of a Kinshasa sends him bailing to the floor. Back from an early break with Ziggler raking Nakamura’s eyes across the top rope before grabbing a headscissors to keep him on the mat.

We hit the chinlock (required in an Owens match) for a long bit until Nakamura fights up, only to be taken back down until we take a second break. Back again with Nakamura getting over for the hot tag to AJ, who immediately brings the strikes. A good series of them sends Owens to the floor but he drops AJ again and we’re back to the chinlock.

AJ fights up again and kicks his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Nakamura. House is cleaned again with a series of kicks but Ziggler grabs a Fameasser for two. Everything breaks down and Ziggler saves Owens from the Styles Clash, only to eat a running knee from Nakamura. The Kinshasa ends Owens at 24:33.

Rating: B. Insert your own complaint about the champ taking a fall when Ziggler is right there. This felt like a bit match and a lot of that is due to having an actual dream team for the face side. I can live with this kind of a match instead of the normal ten minute trading wins between the ladder match participants. It’s always nice to have the main event feel important and that’s what this did.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was good but I don’t think it’s enough to make up for the rapid fire matches we had in the middle of the show. Was there really a need for three matches in a row to have a rollup finish in less than a minute? Is that really the best possible option? They kept Mahal short, which is probably best for everyone involved. He’s not the worst idea in the world but we’re certainly at the point where the less of him we see, the better. We’re firmly on the way to Money in the Bank though and that can make for some dull shows, which hopefully isn’t the case this year.

Results

Becky Lynch/Charlotte b. Carmella/Natalya – Disarm-Her to Carmella

Sami Zayn b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Tyler Breeze b. Jey Uso – Rollup

Fandango b. Jimmy Uso – Rollup

Usos b. Breezango – Superfly splash to Fandango

AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens/Dolph Ziggler – Kinshasa to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: December 19, 2002
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the last pay per view of the year and that means we only have two Smackdowns left. The big story on the Smackdown side is Kurt Angle becoming the new Smackdown World Champion, having defeated Big Show in a match that was way better than it had any right to be. That puts us on the road to the Royal Rumble, where Chris Benoit might be the new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tag match with Big Show pinning Angle and then Angle winning the title thanks to Brock Lesnar’s help. This eats up over three minutes.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle, with a belt that still says Big Show, to open things up. He lists off his accomplishments but this title win was different. Angle isn’t sure if he could have won the title without Lesnar so he’d like Brock out here now. Cue Brock to one heck of a reaction. Angle agrees to give him a shot at the title anytime, any place. That’s what Brock wanted to hear because he wants his shot tonight. Actually that doesn’t work for Kurt though because he has a non-title match with Chris Benoit. Lesnar will get his title shot next week though, which Lesnar begrudgingly accepts.

Big Show is livid about Lesnar getting the first shot and rants to Paul Heyman about it. Don’t worry though because Heyman has a fan. Again, this takes way too long to accomplish something very simple.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Eddie goes right for him and grabs a belly to back suplex to take over. A very fast tilt-a-whirl backbreaker looks to set up the frog splash but Kidman bails away and hits an enziguri. The BK Bomb gets two and the shooting star connects, only to have Chavo pull Kidman away. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason though and Eddie grabs a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Matt Hardy walks into Stephanie’s office to explain the concept of MF’ers (Mattitude Followers). She’s worried that he won’t be able to face Lesnar tonight but Matt is ready to go.

John Cena vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cena’s rap calls the Buccaneers a rather surprising slur which rhymes with beers. The announcers start talking about the Torrie/Dawn Marie footage as “Bling Bling Buchanan” gets in a few shots on the floor. Cena grabs a seated full nelson (it’s better than the same old chinlock over and over) but Palumbo fights up for the comeback. A belly to belly sets up the discus punch and Chuck heads to the top, only to have Cena roll through a high crossbody and grab the trunks for the pin.

Chuck punches Cena out but gets hit by Buchanan’s change. Cue Rikishi for the save because THIS STORY IS STILL GOING!

We get a long, LONG recap of the build to Torrie/Dawn in the hotel room (same as the one from Sunday I believe) and then see about ten seconds, all of which we saw at the pay per view.

We get a sitdown interview with Torrie at her mom’s house in Idaho where she says she’s more proud than anything else. She’s willing to do anything for her father but he’s the one person she’s embarrassed her. As for being a sexual predator, she’s certainly a sexual person, but Dawn is going to find out what kind of a predator she can be. Cue Dawn and Al as Cole suggests that Al has no idea what’s going on. You mean getting to be with a woman WAY out of his league who doesn’t seem to mind being with him in exchange for tormenting his daughter? I still don’t quite get how Al is hurt in all this.

Anyway Dawn calls Torrie a nymphomaniac and says her relationship with Al is sacred. They never run out of things to say and enjoy their late night encounters. She’s never seen a more handsome and virile man than her “Al-sy Wal-sy.” The wedding will be here on Smackdown in two weeks. Torrie storms off because they deserve each other.

Raw Retro: Rock challenges Hogan. That’s one heck of a moment.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

This is over Brock throwing Matt, who has wrestled in 44 states, through a wall. However, Matt comes out holding his good eye and has Shannon Moore tagging along. We’ve got a substitution due to Matt getting something in his good eye, rendering him temporarily blind.

Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock wastes no time in belly to bellying Shannon OVER THE TOP AND DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR in one of the sickest landings you’ll ever see. Moore somehow doesn’t have a broken leg as he takes the F5 for the pin in less than a minute. Great bump to go with the complete destruction.

Blind Matt gets beaten down as well.

Stephanie tells Angle to clear this up or she’ll do it herself.

Here’s Angle to explain whatever it is that Stephanie was talking about. Angle talks about having integrity and if it were up to him, he’d face Angle and Benoit in the same night. He has a lot on his plate though and he needs good representation. That’s why he’s now represented by……Paul Heyman.

Paul comes out for a hug and says no one should be surprised by this. There was no way Lesnar was ever getting close to the title again and Heyman made sure of it. The plan started when Angle suggested he could get Lesnar’s suspension lifted and Heyman convinced Stephanie to let Brock come back. Angle played Lesnar like a violin (How?) and now the Angle vs. Lesnar match is postponed indefinitely.

Cue a livid Big Show to yell at Heyman and glare at Angle. Heyman says Show isn’t dumped because Show is still his favorite client. To make it up to him, Show can have a shot next week. Kurt isn’t happy but Heyman says it’s cool as long as either of them is champion. Just keep it away from Lesnar you see.

Ok……I need a minute on this one. So Heyman worked together with Show to get the title off of Lesnar and then signed Angle as an insurance policy to give him more leverage to keep the title away from Brock? Ok, fine. And Angle had to get Lesnar’s suspension lifted because Angle couldn’t beat Show on his own? If that’s not it, I have no idea why Lesnar had to be reinstated. Why would Heyman want him back in the first place?

I’m not really sure I get the idea. I guess Heyman thought Angle could beat Big Show so he bought Kurt off before he could, but Angle could only do it with Lesnar’s help? Show can beat an injured Lesnar with Heyman’s help but it takes Angle/Lesnar to beat Big Show? I’m probably missing something in there because this is already far beyond how complicated it needs to be. Just have Show vs. Lesnar go to a double DQ at Survivor Series and then do a triple threat so Angle can take the title from Show and announce Heyman’s plan after. Either way, it sets up an eventual Angle vs. Lesnar match and that’s just glorious sounding.

Bill DeMott/Crash vs. Jamie Noble/Nunzio

DeMott is teaming with Crash because he respects Hardcore Holly. Bill beats on Nunzio and then pulls Jamie in to beat on him as well. A release German suplex sends Noble flying and DeMott makes him tag Nunzio back in. Noble is thrown into Nunzio in the corner and a powerbomb sets up the moonsault to put Jamie away. Crash was never in. So Nunzio debuts one week and gets squashed the next by BILL DEMOTT. I’m so glad to know this show has a plan for everyone.

DeMott beats Crash down as well.

Edge is ready to beat up A-Train again tonight.

Edge vs. A-Train

A-Train charges straight at him to start but Edge slips out of a gorilla press. It’s already time to go after the knee though as A-Train lays on it and then grabs a half crab. Back up and Edge hits an enziguri followed by a missile dropkick due to the bad knee. The bicycle kick gives A-Train two and it’s right back to the half crab. The chokebomb is broken up and Edge spears him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was as good as A-Train doing half crabs for five minutes was going to be. I still don’t get the idea behind pushing him like this but it seems to be time for the big guys to get their pushes. Edge sold the leg well enough but there’s only so much he can do in a story like this.

Josh Matthews recaps Angle vs. Lesnar and it still doesn’t make a lot of sense. Lesnar comes in and says his state of mind is a good question.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit takes him to the mat for an early hammerlock and a very fast armdrag. They head outside with Benoit chasing him back inside for the first suplex. Angle gets in his own overhead belly to belly as the announcers marvel at Heyman’s brainwashing abilities. Heyman even gets in a belt shot to Benoit for two and it’s time to trade some chops. A chinlock keeps Benoit down for a bit and a release German suplex drops him again.

Angle is right backup but a double clothesline puts both guys down. It’s Benoit up first with the seven rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman to put his head in his hand, as if he knows there’s nothing that can be done at this point. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Big Show lumbers down for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Good match as usual but you could see the ending coming from a mile away. They’ve done this match too often lately though and it’s starting to get tiresome. It’s still entertaining but there are other options out there. Put Angle in there with Edge (because Heaven forbid we don’t get the A-Train match in there) or anyone else to save Benoit for later.

Lesnar runs in for some suplexes but gets beaten down as well to end the show. My only other thought here: Heyman reminds me of Louie De Palma in far too many ways.

Overall Rating: D. Really big step down here as this whole thing was about two stories with a few other matches filling in the rest of the time. The Heyman stuff is more complicated than it needs to be and the Dawn/Torrie stuff is clearly going nowhere. If you’re over fourteen years old here, you know you’re never going to see more than you saw at the pay per view and after that you have whatever disaster the wedding and ensuing match are going to be. This really wasn’t a good show and Smackdown should be better than what they did here.

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