Smackdown – May 16, 2017: Why Can’t I Remember This Show?
Smackdown Date: May 16, 2017
Location: SNHU Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re back stateside with the go home show for Sunday’s Backlash. We have a few matches announced as it’s Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton and a “first time ever” match between Jinder Mahal and AJ Styles. I put it in the quotes because while it’s the first time the match has ever happened, I really don’t know if that’s worthy of mention it never happening before. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Kevin Owens’ Highlight Reel with Kevin emphasizing that the original host will NEVER, EVER be seen here again. After a clip of the Chris Jericho beatdown, Owens introduces his guest in French, only to have AJ Styles (not the guest) interrupt on his own. He never did well in French class but on Sunday, he’s taking the US Title and bringing it back to the USA. Styles is ready to fight not but here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers to interrupt. Mahal is supposed to be the guest and doesn’t seem pleased. The three all talk trash but Owens runs from AJ.
AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal
Owens is on commentary. Feeling out process to start without much of note to start. Jinder sends him to the apron though and AJ scores with a slingshot forearm to a kneeling Mahal. Some kicks to the chest have Mahal rocked and AJ follows up with a shortened Phenomenal Rush. A hard knee drops AJ though and we take a break.
Back with Jinder working on a chinlock for a good while. AJ fights up and crotches him on the top before dropkicking Jinder out of the air. Another forearm has Jinder in trouble but he kicks AJ in the face for two. Owens keeps cheering for Mahal but shouldn’t he want the match to go on as long as possible so AJ can be hurt even more?
The fireman’s carry into the flip neckbreaker gives AJ two but the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Owens to hit AJ in the knee with the belt. Somehow the referee doesn’t wonder why AJ has down and hurt his knee. The cobra clutch slam (the Kalas, Punjab for finish) gives Mahal the pin at 15:45.
Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the only logical ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Mahal needed this win and it advances Styles vs. Owens at the same time. That’s one of the best things they can do at the moment as it accomplishes everything at once. Mahal is still passable in the ring but that’s about all you can give him, which isn’t enough for the spot they want him in.
It’s Fashion Files time with more pictures and Post-It notes stuck to the walls. Breeze comes in with a blond wig and taped on mustache, whom Fandango praises for his expertise as a master of disguise. Tyler has found a number of fashion felonies, including EVERY BARON CORBIN shirt being a wolf design. The Usos are scary but their hair is like a mop. Breeze takes off the mustache, asking what in Versace’s name is he wearing. They load up a high five but Breeze says freeze frame, leaving them both hanging in the air.
Randy Orton is ready for Mahal.
Breezango vs. Colons
Joined in progress with Breeze fighting out of some trouble and getting two on Epico. The cousins keep him in trouble though and Primo grabs an armbar. Breeze avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Fandango to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Falcon Arrow gives Fandango the pin at 3:18.
Rating: D+. Just another match here but it’s nice to have Breezango on a roll heading into the pay per view. I doubt they win the belts but I could go for a title change. The Usos are barely doing anything with the belts (not to say Breezango would) but it would be nice to switch things up for a little bit.
Post match the Usos come out to say they’ll win on Sunday because this is the Uso penitentiary. They’ll remain vicious and give you stitches and that’s not paranoia.
Here’s Shane McMahon for a contract signing for Sunday’s six woman tag. Natalya uses her uncle’s catchphrase and signs while Tamina and Carmella sign without saying anything. Becky laughs off the idea of being offered a spot on the team and can’t wait to slap all three of them. Naomi tries to dub the team Royal Glow Fire and threatens to snatch them bald. Charlotte promises a win but after that she’s coming for the crown.
Ellsworth cuts Shane off and says he can take care of himself. Shane has no idea what he’s talking about but it’s clear that Becky is staring at Ellsworth. Neither Charlotte nor Becky has a shot him though and Carmella is coming for his title. A fight nearly breaks out so Shane makes Carmella vs. Naomi for right now.
Carmella vs. Naomi
Non-title. Joined in progress with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and a running forearm in the corner. Naomi misses a knee drop though and gets sent face first into the mat. The threat of the Rear View sends Carmella outside and Ellsworth gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Carmella running away from some kicks and screaming a lot.
Naomi shuts her up with a dropkick, only to have Carmella kick her in the face and send her outside. The champ fights up again and hits a jawbreaker but Tamina and Natalya break up a cover, meaning it’s a double ejection. Charlotte and Natalya get in a fight with them first though and Naomi goes over to kick Tamina in the back. The distraction lets Carmella grab a rollup for the pin at 11:21.
Rating: D+. I’m still trying to get past Naomi’s attempts to get “I’m gonna snatch you bald!” over as a threat/catchphrase. She can’t threaten to beat them up or hurt them but rather take their hair? Is she a reincarnation of Brutus Beefcake? Anyway not a great match or anything but it did well enough to st up the match on Sunday.
Dolph Ziggler has been watching all the Shinsuke Nakamura footage he can find in WWE but there’s nothing to see. Instead, here’s a Ziggler highlight package. Ziggler can’t wait to beat Nakamura.
Sami Zayn has been granted a match with Baron Corbin for Backlash (That wasn’t official yet?) because he thinks Corbin feels threatened by him. Corbin jumps him from behind and says stay down.
Randy Orton vs. Baron Corbin
Non-title. They shove each other around to start with Corbin popping Orton in the jaw to take over for the first time. One heck of a clothesline gives Baron two and we take a break. Back with Orton missing a middle rope knee drop and getting caught in a chinlock. Corbin hammers him down again and some posing gets quite the negative reaction from the fans.
Baron says the people’s reaction is why he’s hurting Orton but he misses a charge into the corner. JBL keeps calling both of them great closers as Orton hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is broken up and Deep Six gives Baron a close two. Back up and the RKO gives Orton the pin at 13:20.
Rating: C. Corbin took WAY too clean of a loss here when he’s supposed to be a big deal going forward. I’d bet on him getting a title shot in the near future but why should I care about him if he just lost clean here? I’m fine with Orton winning a match but the booking here is a bit questionable.
Post match Mahal comes out for a distraction so the Singh Brothers can come in for the attack. Mahal holds up the title to end the show.
Rusev never appeared despite being advertised.
Opinion: C-. This was a rather flat show heading into what feels like a flat pay per view. I’m interested in Styles vs. Owens and that’s really about it on the entire card. What am I supposed to care about other than that match? Breezango? The six woman tag? Jinder Mahal? They’re fine for a big Smackdown but it doesn’t quite work that well on a pay per view. The show was good enough but nothing I’ll remember in a day or two.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. AJ Styles – Kalas
Breezango b. Colons – Falcon Arrow to Primo
Carmella b. Naomi – Rollup
Randy Orton b. Baron Corbin – RKO
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Armageddon 2002: Nine H’s and a Not So Secret Video
Armageddon 2002 Date: December 15, 2002
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
In case you didn’t get this from the Raw’s leading up to this show, this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. It’s so much about them that we’re seeing them fight three times so HHH can win the title for the second time in just over three months. Oh and we might see Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie’s, ahem, home movie. Let’s get to it.
The opening video has Freddie Blassie quoting the Bible about Armageddon, followed by The End Is Here playing over shots of bombs and missiles. And various wrestlers of course. That’s not disturbing whatsoever.
Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Goldust/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian
Jericho and Christian are defending, Booker/Goldust are having issues believing they should keep teaming, the Dudleys are REALLY fired up to be here, Regal and Storm are on a roll and this is under elimination rules. Got all that? Storm forearms Bubba down and actually gets the better of a quick slugout, only to have Bubba shout DIE CANADIAN SCUM and hit a corner splash.
Goldust comes in to uppercut Regal but the champs take over in the corner. That goes nowhere either so Bubba comes in for some stereo Flip Flop and Flying into the Bionic elbows in a somewhat odd visual. Everything breaks down and Christian eats 3D but Regal tags himself in. A small package (and an ugly one at that) gets rid of the Dudleys (with JR not being clear on what happened), followed by a Goldust rollup to get rid of Storm and Regal to put us down to two. Or what it should have been in the first place without the extra five minutes being a waste of time.
The Hart Attack with the side kick instead of a clothesline drops Jericho with Christian making the save. Goldust misses a crossbody and falls to the floor, where Jericho sends him into the steps. We settle into the regular tag formula with Christian putting on an abdominal stretch, followed by a double stomping in the corner. JR explains the concept of cutting the ring off, which isn’t something you hear explained that often. Perhaps because it’s rarely done outside of a Revival match anymore.
Goldust finally catches christian in a sidewalk slam and it’s off to Booker with a very nice pop. The Walls are countered into a small package for two but the second attempt works better with Booker in a lot of trouble. Goldust comes in with a bulldog for the save, followed by crotching Christian on the top. A missile dropkick gives Booker two but Jericho gets in a belt shot. The Lionsault is good for two but Booker grabs the Book End for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B-. So the first two eliminations really didn’t need to happen and those teams could have been added to the show in their own match. Goldust and Booker FINALLY winning the titles is the right call and they went about as far as they could before getting the belts. I would have had Goldust get the win to prove he’s not the weak link but just getting the win is all they needed to do.
Booker tells Goldust that he’s not a weak link.
Brock Lesnar asks Josh Matthews who he is and says he’ll make an impact in the Big Show vs. Kurt Angle match.
Edge vs. A-Train
Edge has a bad knee coming in and is here to defend Rey Mysterio’s honor. A-Train shoves him into the corner to start before catching a crossbody with ease. Thankfully Edge tries to speed things up, only to get shoved into the barricade for his efforts. A charge only hits post though as the fast start continues. Back in and A-Train gets two off a powerslam before it’s off to the chinlock less than four minutes in. Edge makes his comeback as this is feeling more and more like a TV match every second.
The half nelson faceplant gives Edge two and the announcers keep calling A-Train Albert. A super spinning Edge-o-Matic gets two (with Edge pulling the trunks WAY too far up in the front) but A-Train bicycle kicks him out of the air for two. It’s chair time but Edge gets in a baseball slide to knock it away. The chokebomb gives A-Train two and the spear gives Edge the same, only to have A-Train chair Edge in the knee for the pitiful DQ.
Rating: D-. I really need more from this on a pay per view as this felt like the match to set up the pay per view rematch. A-Train just hitting him in the knee for the ending doesn’t work and certainly doesn’t help him. Unless Edge is taking time off thanks to a big post match attack, I really don’t get this one.
There’s a post match attack, but it’s Edge unloading on A-Train with the chair as his knee looks fine. What in the world was the point of this?
Big Show wants to go yell at Stephanie but Heyman talks him out of it, making Stephanie sound like a mob boss who would have Show sleeping with the fishes if he dared cross her. Heyman promises to take care of things.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit
The announcers basically call this a #1 contenders match though that’s not official. Eddie takes him to the mat and works on the leg as we hear about their very long history together. It’s off to a headlock on Benoit, who manages to tie their legs together to keep Eddie in check. A suplex sets up a chinlock on Guerrero but he reverses into a shortarm scissors as they’re keeping it on the mat so far.
Benoit powers out in that Bob Backlund display that looks less impressive every time a smaller guy does it. Eddie keeps it on the mat with a headscissors and the fans think it’s boring. I’m sorry they’re not big, bald and hairy but try to let something fresh into your wrestling minds people. Eddie sends him outside for a good looking dive before working on Benoit’s knee back inside.
A variety of leglocks have Benoit screaming in pain but he finally pops up for the rolling German suplexes. Benoit gets all the way to seven before Eddie reverses into four German suplexes of his own. The frog splash is good for two and Eddie gives a great stunned look. They both fall out to the floor with Eddie getting back in first, allowing Chavo to run out with a belt shot to the back of Benoit’s head. That’s only good for two as well, more or less guaranteeing that Benoit is winning here.
A modified Lasso From El Paso sends Benoit straight to the ropes, allowing him to pop up with a heck of a powerbomb. More Chavo interference fails and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, which Eddie mostly no sells for another Lasso. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface. Eddie goes for the ropes so Benoit switches arms and rolls into the middle of the ring to make Guerrero tap.
Rating: A-. Were you expecting this to be anything other than great? You have two guys this talented and this familiar with each other with over sixteen minutes on pay per view so of course it’s the likely match of the night. I know they can do this stuff in tag matches but it’s refreshing to have them just do a great singles match. Benoit was the pretty clear winner here but Eddie was more than up to the task here. That switching of arms at the end made Benoit look even better though and he more than deserves a title shot at this point.
Paul Heyman comes in to Stephanie’s office and talks about how much he’d love to sign Benoit. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it because Lesnar’s suspension is already lifted. They talk about the integrity of the title with Stephanie saying we’ll have to wait and see what Lesnar does tonight. This has been a commercial for the show you’ve already paid for.
Long recap of Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson. Dawn decided to marry Torrie’s dad, presumably to get to Torrie. It turned out that she just wanted to sleep with Torrie so she offered to call off the marriage for one night for her. Of course it was filmed and Dawn is threatening to show the tape tonight because Torrie enjoyed it. That would be the worst thing ever for some reason you see.
Here are Dawn and Al, who has no issue with any of this for some reason. Or maybe he’s miserable. You never can tell with him. Anyway Dawn recaps things again and says Torrie isn’t here tonight before showing the footage. After seeing everything we saw on Smackdown (twice now) before we get to the new stuff. Dawn gives her champagne and eats a strawberry before unzipping Torrie’s leather jacket revealing…..pretty much the same kind of outfit Torrie would wrestle in.
Dawn takes off Torrie’s skirt to leave Torrie in her lingerie before taking off her own robe. She whispers that men can’t give Torrie what she can. They kiss and Torrie seems to be getting into it but Dawn says freeze the footage. She tells Al that we’re going to keep going so we see more kissing before Al stops it for good. Dawn promises they can make their own tape to make up for it and we’re done. This ate up about ten minutes and was every bit the waste of time you would expect it to be.
Kane vs. Batista
Batista has Ric Flair in his corner but gets dropped by an early neckbreaker. An elbow gives Kane two but Batista hot shots him onto the ropes. Kane fights back but gets sent outside where he beats up Flair for fun. Back in and Kane boots the rookie down but the top rope clothesline misses. The Batista Bomb doesn’t work though and Kane hits him low for a rather heelish move. The spinebuster gives Batista two but he walks into a chokeslam. Flair comes in for a distraction though, allowing the Batista Bomb to put Kane away.
Rating: D-. This wasn’t just a bad match but it felt like it belonged on a TV show instead of a pay per view. Batista looked lost for the most part with the fans giving up on the match after he couldn’t pick Kane up for the powerbomb. On top of that it was basically a handicap match with Flair involved, which makes for a really bad use of time.
Here are John Cena and B Squared (yes Squared again instead of Two) to rap about how awesome they are and how it doesn’t matter who they tick off. Marcia Brady is mentioned as well. This took less than two minutes.
We recap the women’s triple threat match. Victoria took the title from Trish Stratus at Survivor Series and then Jacqueline beat Victoria in a non-title match on Raw because SHE’S FROM TEXAS AND ALL TOUGH AND STUFF LIKE THAT. Now we’re having a triple threat for the title.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria
Victoria is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie being sent outside as Jerry wonders if Victoria is horizontally accessible. A superplex drops Trish with Jackie stealing two as you can hear JR getting annoyed at Lawler’s jokes. The challengers make a wish on Victoria’s legs and send her outside, leaving Trish to hit a neckbreaker on Jackie. The Chick Kick drops Jackie again but Trish takes WAY too long covering, followed by a slow count, which really screams blown save. Victoria grabs the title and hits Trish, setting up the pin on Jackie to retain.
Rating: D+. They were trying here but Jackie didn’t need to be involved and the timing really hurt things here. Trish vs. Victoria is one of the better feuds they’ve had in a long time but they’ve pretty much reached the peak of the feud. We’re pretty much just waiting for Lita to come back at this point and that makes things a bit hard to sit through.
Victoria steals Trish’s hat.
Angle keeps trying to convince Lesnar to be in his corner, including promising him retribution if Brock joins him. We see the end of the Survivor Series title match but Lesnar still won’t say anything.
We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. There isn’t much to talk about though as Show won the title four weeks ago and Angle won a four way to earn the title shot. Lesnar was suspended for a few weeks in a side angle that added absolutely nothing to this, aside from giving us more Stephanie TV time.
Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show
Angle is challenging and there’s no Brock to start, meaning he’ll be the official run-in. Show easily tosses him down to start so Angle tries a front facelock. That just earns him a toss over the top and right onto Heyman, but the distraction allows Angle to dump Show out to the floor. Back in and Show continues his dominance with a clothesline and suplex as Angle can’t get anything going so far.
The match is so one sided that Cole gets to list off all of Big Show’s measurements that you’ve probably memorized over the years. The Final Cut gets two as the fans chant USA with Tazz pointing out that Big Show is an American too. We hit the bearhug that you knew was coming until Angle bites his way out. Angle chokes him down and gets most of a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Tazz: “Big Show is the same size as Kurt Angle right now!”. That line still drives me crazy and it’s even worse when they’re both down.
Angle dropkicks the leg out and a good looking missile dropkick gives Kurt two. The moonsault press only has Angle’s feet hit Show in the head and the Angle Slam is good for two. The ankle lock goes on in the middle of the ring and the kickoff sends Angle into the referee. You can see a lot of the crowd looking towards the entrance as the Brock chants start up. Heyman throws in a chair which goes upside Show’s head for two with the kickout wiping the referee out again. Cue A-Train to break up the ankle lock but here’s Brock to F5 Show to give Angle the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. This was watchable because they had Big Show laying around for about a third of the match but it could have been FAR worse. At least they did the smart thing by giving the title to one of the hot acts who can have a great match with just about anyone, thereby opening the doors to a ton of fresh opponents, including Lesnar down the line. It’s not good but this could have been a disaster, so we’ll call this a success.
Rob Van Dam is at the World and picks Shawn to win.
Long recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They hate each other, they beat each other up, now it’s three matches for the price of one because we need that much HHH in our lives. This is 2/3 falls with the first fall being a street fight, the second being a cage match and the third being a ladder match.
Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels
Michaels is defending and HHH’s right quad, as in the leg that he didn’t tear, is taped up. Shawn has that weird sleeves made of mirrors thing that he wore at the 1997 Royal Rumble. To be fair he’s the only one who could pull that off. Before the bell, the referee ejects Flair because THIS IS THE KIND OF IMPORTANT MATCH THAT NEEDS TO BE FAIR!
Shawn hammers away to start and skins the cat before baseball sliding HHH into the barricade. A plancha misses though (with HHH not really moving so I’m not sure what Shawn was aiming at, save for maybe a trashcan that HHH had pulled out) and HHH is limping less than two minutes in. Shawn’s second dive hits the trashcan (at least it was from the ropes instead of over them so it was a different spot) but HHH can’t follow up.
Instead Shawn grabs a table but has a trashcan kicked into his face. HHH’s limping is getting worse and since this is getting AT LEAST half an hour, we could be in for a very long night. HHH sets up a second table next to the one Shawn loaded up but gets suplexed back inside for two. The jumping knee with the bad leg knocks HHH down as well and I get more and more worried about how bad this could get.
It’s time to start in on Shawn’s back but Shawn gets in a side slam to drive HHH through the chair in a smart counter. They head outside again with Shawn working on the back despite THE BIG BANDAGE ON HHH’S LEG. Even Lawler is pointing out the lapse in thinking so you know it’s bad. HHH blocks the superkick and twists the knee around, meaning they’re both working on the others injured body part. A chop block sets up the standing Flair working on the leg package, capped off by the Figure Four.
Shawn turns it over after nearly two minutes in the hold so HHH goes with a trashcan lid to the head for two instead. They head up the aisle with HHH sending him into the set before finding the barbed wire 2×4. HHH isn’t done though as he lights it on fire first. Shawn takes it away though and hits HHH with it, drawing some blood. It had better given that it’s a flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire.
Back to the ring with HHH on his feet despite being hit in the head with something that should have killed him. HHH plays Raven with a drop toehold to send Shawn into an open chair but the Pedigree is countered with a low blow. Not that it matters as HHH hits the bad knee and gets the Pedigree for the first fall.
The cage is lowered and it’s pinfall or escape (I’m assuming Fink forgot to say submission but JR doesn’t say it either). Before the cage is all the way down, HHH throws in some more weapons, including a table and chair. One heck of a chair shot knocks Shawn sillier and the table is set up in the corner. Shawn gets catapulted into the cage and both guys are busted. The pace gets even slower and Shawn hammers away with right hands. They fight up to the top of the cage and here’s Flair back at ringside because why not.
Ric sets up two more tables on top of the original two as they slug it out on the top without much going on. There’s no big crash though as they go back inside with HHH getting crotched on the ropes. The top rope elbow seems to suggest that Shawn’s knee is much better in a hurry….and Flair is in the cage because the referee is incompetent. Shawn cuts him off and chairs both guys in the head, naturally making Flair bleed as well.
With Shawn beating up Flair, HHH walks away from the open door (some cerebral assassin) and it’s back to back superkicks to drop the villains. The stupidity continues as Shawn doesn’t cover or run out of the cage but rather sets up another table (that would be five I believe). A splash off the top of the cage drives HHH through the wood and ties things up. So now it’s a ladder match with both guys basically dead.
A very bloody Flair is helped out as the cage is raised and Shawn gets a ladder. Various ladder shots (which Lawler says is like being hit by a car) have HHH in even more trouble and Shawn suplexes him onto the ladder for good measure. The ladder is set up in the corner but Shawn misses the huge splash, landing right on his face.
HHH gets in a weird Pedigree as he has to stretch the bad leg out so it doesn’t slam into the mat. The fans are busy looking at something in the crowd as HHH makes the slow climb. That’s broken up but Shawn’s slow climb is countered with a shove through the tables, allowing HHH to climb up and regain the title.
Rating: C-. This is a really, really hard one to grade but let’s get the big problem out of the way first: there was no reason to have this be more than one fall. Either do a street fight (which was boring but watchable) or one of the other two but the whole three falls thing was ridiculous with the ladder match not even breaking eight minutes. The cage match was basically a continuation of the street fight with just one attempt at escaping, plus Flair just walking into the cage, making it a complete waste of time. HHH looked horrible out there but Heaven forbid we don’t cater to him, bad leg or not.
There’s a good match in there somewhere, but it only works with HHH on two good legs. On top of that, this needed to be cut in half. It’s just under forty minutes total and easily could have been about twenty with every bit as much effect. Shawn looked passable but old, which isn’t exactly the best combination in the world. The match could have been better but with what they were going for here, it’s a pretty hard disappointment. In other words, cut out HHH’s ego and it’s probably far better.
Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty solid surprise with a few good matches (and one great one) but there’s also a lot of really bad stuff dragging that right back down. The Dawn and Torrie stuff really started bringing the show down as it’s not only stupid but fairly worthless to anyone with the internet at that point. You can see almost anything you want so two women in lingerie isn’t quite enough.
The problem is the rest of the show takes a big dip after that with the best match probably being Angle vs. Big Show, mainly due to it not being forty five minutes counting intros. The first half of the show is better but it hits a hard wall and there’s really no recovering from that point on. I was expecting a disaster though so this was a good bit better than I thought I’d get.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – December 12, 2002: It’s Like NXT But Not
Smackdown Date: December 12, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the final stop before the final pay per view of the year and there are two major stories at the moment. First up we have Kurt Angle becoming the new #1 contender to Big Show’s Smackdown World Title, meaning the hopes of most of the fans are on his Olympic shoulders. Other than that we have the sports entertainment shock value of Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. Let’s get to it.
The opening video recaps the Torrie/Dawn stuff from last week with Torrie agreeing to spend a night with Dawn to keep Dawn from marrying her dad. They’re really not hiding the soap opera nonsense are they?
Opening sequence.
Rikishi vs. B2
Now it’s B Two instead of B Squared. Sounds like a vitamin. Either way he poses at Rikishi and gets punched in the face but it’s way too early for the Stinkface. Bull’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Cena offers a distraction and gets kicked in the face. The second distraction works a bit better though as Bull hits him low, allowing Cena to chain Rikishi in the head for the cheap pin.
Torrie Wilson arrives and Jan the Makeup Lady says she’s been hearing rumors about what happened in the hotel room last week. I thought it was pretty obvious given how things started but maybe we need to spell it out: they did a Jungle Book jigsaw puzzle and watched the Facts of Life.
Earlier today, Kurt Angle interrupted a Brock Lesnar autograph signing and offered to get the suspension lifted in exchange for Lesnar being in his corner on Sunday. If Brock helps him, he’ll get the first title shot. Lesnar says if the suspension is lifted, he’ll think about it.
Big Show is with Albert, who is now named A-Train (certainly an improvement), and Paul Heyman. New interviewer Josh Matthews (shoot me now) comes in to ask about the Lesnar/Angle situation and the champ is livid. For reasons that I don’t even want to be able to fathom, these two segments were edited off the WWE Network version. The only way to know about them is Cole’s recap in the next match.
Show and Heyman yell at Stephanie, who throws them out.
Bill DeMott vs. Shannon Moore
DeMott is now an official bully, meaning he and Ryback should go out for soup and grape juice. Moore tries to hammer away but gets thrown around and smashed with a clothesline. A powerslam sets up a heck of a moonsault to give Bill the pin.
Now Stephanie will hear from Heyman and Show, the former of whom doesn’t want to hear about Scott Steiner. As for Lesnar, he makes Smackdown money so the suspension is lifted. Then why did she suspend him in the first place? To prove that he’ll get a week off if he breaks the rules? This was Stephanie showing off her power side with the hands on the hips and lethal sneer. To be fair the look works for her.
Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Billy Kidman/Chris Benoit
Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie to start in a preview of their match on Sunday. An early Crossface attempt doesn’t work but a backdrop has Eddie in trouble. It’s a double tag to bring in Kidman, only to have Eddie cheap shot him a few times to take over. The slow stomping begins and a spinebuster gives Chavo two.
Even Eddie can’t powerbomb Kidman but it’s still not enough for the hot tag. Kidman starts wildly swinging to slow Eddie down and a powerbomb is enough for the hot tag to Benoit. Eddie gets caught in the Crossface and we take an abrupt break (just like on Raw). We come back with Kidman holding Chavo in a chinlock as we see Eddie tapping during the break, albeit behind the referee’s back.
The champs take over with Eddie legbarring Kidman very close to the corner. He really should know better than that and I don’t have much sympathy for him when Benoit comes in and kicks Eddie in the head. Eddie blocks the tag though and grabs a keylock. Some good old fashioned cheating sees Chavo switch places for a keylock of his own. Chavo decks Benoit off the apron but Kidman gets in an ankle scissors.
The referee doesn’t see a tag but Benoit comes in with the rolling German suplexes anyway. Chris Swan Dives onto Eddie for two (with Cole asking why there’s a count) as everything breaks down. Benoit Crossfaces Chavo for the tap but the referee is looking at Kidman, who misses the Shooting Star. Eddie grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes to retain. So he watches Benoit cover but not when he has the Crossface? Biased jerk.
Rating: B. It’s almost like the tag team formula works very well when you let it have the time to go somewhere. These four work very well together and, as usual, Kidman proves that the cruiserweights can easily hang with the heavyweights, thereby proving that the weight divisions are stupid in wrestling. Great match, as you would expect.
Torrie goes to yell at Dawn and says what happened in the hotel room was personal and just between them. Dawn can’t believe what she’s hearing and takes off her robe to reveal lingerie. Torrie doesn’t seem to mind it at first before yelling at Dawn to cut it out. There hasn’t been one lie though and Torrie doesn’t deny it. She does however demand that the wedding be called off tonight. Torrie leaves and Dawn smiles.
Raw Retro: HHH interrupts Stephanie and Test’s wedding. Again, edited off the Network but it could be because the Motorhead theme is edited over My Time.
Here’s Dawn, after the fastest change into a dress in recorded history, for a chat. She asks Al to come out here and confirms that everything he’s heard about her and Torrie is true. Al doesn’t seem to care so Dawn talks about looking into Torrie’s eyes and seeing Al in them. If that’s not creepy enough, every time she kissed Torrie’s lips, it was like she was kissing him.
Dawn knows Al will never find a woman like her and he wants to marry her anyway. Torrie comes out for some of the most violent slapping you’ll ever see so Dawn promises to show the full tape on Sunday to prove how much Torrie enjoyed it. This is pure trash but Al’s “acting” is so bad that it’s hard not to laugh. He just stands there with no reactions, even to the fact that his fiance slept with his daughter and they kiss alike.
Tazz immediately starts basically promising various adult material on Sunday as we look at replays. This really is the second biggest Smackdown story (and not that far from first). On a show with the Smackdown Six mind you.
Jamie Noble vs. Crash
Tazz thinks Jamie’s cousin Nunzio is 6’11 and 320lbs and works for the mob. Jamie elbows Crash in the face to start and they slug it out with Crash getting the better of it. A faceplant gives Crash two and it’s Crash Landing time, only to have Nunzio (ECW’s Little Guido, who Tazz suddenly doesn’t recognize despite the ECW chants) come in for the DQ.
The double beatdown ensues but Nidia doesn’t look pleased.
Scott Steiner arrives.
Stephanie comes to the ring to sign Steiner as Tazz and Cole look at WWE Magazine, naturally featuring their boss. Steiner takes the pen but won’t sign because last week, after the cameras stopped rolling in the limo, nothing happened. See, Stephanie didn’t put out for him because she’s wholesome, unlike that Torrie Wilson. Now why would you think Stephanie was on her level in the second story based on sex in exchange for a deal on this show?
Anyway, Stephanie suggests that she’ll do it if he signs so Scott puts her on the table and wants to go right now. Stephanie goes on a rant about her moral standards but Scott doesn’t want to hear it. If he can’t trust her in his personal life, he can’t trust her in his business life. Therefore, he’s signing with Raw. Eric Bischoff comes out to gloat and Stephanie throws a fit.
We get an update on Rey Mysterio’s knee injury, which is worse than they thought. There’s no word on his return time.
Edge has a knee injury of his own but he’s ready to focus on his tag match tonight. Angle comes in and agrees to have Edge’s back in the tag.
PPV rundown. Tazz says Eddie vs. Benoit has five stars written all over it.
Edge/Kurt Angle vs. Big Show/A-Train
Good thing the production team had a new song with a train whistle ready in case someone changed their name. Edge and Big Show start things off as Cole goes over Angle and Edge’s history together. A chop staggers the Canadian so it’s off to Angle, who gets A-Train. One heck of a shoulder drops Kurt and it’s back to Edge, who unloads on A-Train in the corner.
A-Train throws Edge hard into the corner and it’s time for Heyman to start the trash talk. For reasons of general large headedness, A-Train takes his sweet time getting around to Edge’s bad knee before handing it off to Big Show for some knee work of his own. The slow beating begins with Show laying on the leg.
After more lifeless offense from the giants, Edge gets in a tornado DDT to stun A-Train and the hot tag brings in Angle. A German suplex actually sends A-Train flying as everything breaks down. Edge spears A-Train down instead of Big Show but the big bald pops up and chairs Edge in the back. The Angle Slam drops both monsters but a Heyman distraction lets Show chokeslam Kurt for the pin.
Rating: D+. They did what they could here but with Edge on a bad wheel and Big Show/A-Train as the heel team, you’re only going to get so far. The match wasn’t bad but this better lead to Angle winning the title on Sunday as it’s clear Show can only do the bare basics at this point. A-Train was trying but calling him limited would be an understatement.
Overall Rating: C-. You know what this felt like? An early 2017 episode of NXT. You know there’s talent there and the people behind the scenes know what they’re doing but there’s only so much you can do when you’re this limited. We’ve done the Smackdown Six matches so many times and since Lesnar is suspended, you have to come up with something fresh.
That means you’re pretty much stuck with short matches to build up new talent without exposing how bad they really are. This show wasn’t the worst but it’s clear that they’re trying something new, which isn’t the easiest thing in the world. They need more time and better talent but things could be rough for the time being.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – May 9, 2017: The British Curse Turns Blue
Smackdown Date: May 9, 2017
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re taped tonight from London as we have less than two weeks before Backlash. That means it’s Jinder Mahal time tonight and we get to see more of his rapid fire build towards being a main eventer. Other than that we might get more of the Welcoming Committee, which is turning into one of the worst heel stables I can remember in years. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip of last month’s Six Pack Challenge where Mahal became #1 contender. Has Mojo Rawley had a match since then? Mahal then cost Randy Orton the House of Horrors match and stole the title belt.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Orton to get things going and he has the title back, thanks to Shane McMahon taking it from Jinder last week. Orton says he lost because of Mahal, not because of Wyatt or that refrigerator. Before Orton can get too far, here’s Mahal to show off his promotional pictures with the title. Mahal promises to begin a new age at Backlash before speaking I believe Punjab.
Cue Kevin Owens to say no one cares about anything but him. Owens brags about ending Chris Jericho’s career and, after he gets rid of AJ Styles, he wants the World Title. Now it’s AJ coming out to quite the reaction to say he’s the face that runs the place. Cue Baron Corbin but Sami Zayn jumps him from behind and the fights are on with the good guys cleaning house.
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
Before the match, we get some generic “British people have bad teeth” jokes from James Ellsworth and Carmella. Naomi and Charlotte are here as Becky’s seconds. The Welcoming Committee offers an early distraction so Natalya can send Becky to the floor and take over. We hit the abdominal stretch for a bit before the STRAIGHT FIRE forearm has Natalya reeling. The Bexploder looks to set up something on the top but the other women get in a fight, allowing Natalya to pull Becky off the top for the pin at 3:02. That’s almost the same ending as Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James from last night.
Rating: D+. The time and the familiar ending hut this one but real problem was taking fifteen minutes to introduce everyone and start the match. I’m sure this sets up a six woman tag for the pay per view, which should be a good place for either someone to turn heel or at least for the Welcoming Committee to get a win. Therefore, look for Charlotte to pin Carmella.
Lana is coming soon.
Charlotte blames Naomi for Becky’s loss but Lynch comes in to cool them down. A six woman tag is set for the pay per view.
It’s Fashion Files time! They’re at the 02 Arena this week and Fandango is dressed as Sherlock Holmes while Breeze is a standard British cop. Fandango: “Cheerio.” Breeze: “No thanks. I’ve already had my breakfast.” They find some spilled lead paint that would only be worn by Uggos. That must be a ruse so Breezango can’t tell them apart but it doesn’t really matter. The paint leads to a room where roaring is heard. They think something nefarious is going on in there but it’s just the Ascension warming themselves up. Breeze: “I’m getting too old for this s***e.” More funny stuff here as Breezango continues to look good.
Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan
Rowan throws him to the floor to start as the announcers talk about how these two are running amuck with no one to guide them. Back in and Rowan scores with a spinning kick to the face and a splash for two. Harper suplexes his way out of the head vice but the discus lariat is blocked. Instead Erick gets two off a Side Effect and grabs the mask. The distraction (as the referee tries to figure out what the mask is supposed to look like) allows Rowan to poke Harper in the eye and grab a reverse spinning powerslam for the pin at 4:23.
Rating: D. Just a power match here but they really need to either stop pushing Harper for a few weeks and then having him lose over and over again. I mean, do they really think there’s value in Erick Rowan winning with a lame powerslam? This didn’t work and the booking makes my head hurt so we’ll move on.
Here’s Dolph Ziggler to call out Shinsuke Nakamura. He’s been here for eight years (How has it only been that long?) but the fans treat him like a disease. Who do the people cheer for now? That starts a Nakamura chant as this is starting to sound like Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles last year.
Now people are calling Nakamura an artist but Ziggler is the strongest man in WWE because he never needed the people. This brings out Nakamura to tell Ziggler to shut up. Nakamura is ready to show him so here’s a referee but Ziggler says nope. Dolph says we do this on his time and wants the match at Backlash. The sneak attack earns Dolph a beating.
Sami is fired up to team with Orton and Styles. Zayn tries to run a strategy session but seems to just annoy his partners. By the time he announces their team as the winners, they’ve both left.
New Day is coming and we get a video game themed promo with every other team being listed on a character select screen.
Breezango vs. Ascension
Fandango chops at Konnor to start but it’s off to Viktor who runs him over. A chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Breeze for some house cleaning. Fandango makes a blind tag and it’s an atomic drop into the Last Dance for the in at 2:39.
Post match the Usos come out to say twelve days over and over while listing off various things that Breezango can do to each others’ backs (with Jimmy clearly trying not to crack up).
Mojo Rawley is giving some kids a tour of the backstage area but stops to tell them a story about Andre the Giant. Andre did a lot of things but Mojo switches to a story about a boy who was different growing up. He was bullied as a kid but then he used it as motivation to become a legend. Mojo pulls out the trophy and the kids are amazed. I’ve started to like Mojo more and more lately and I’d love to see him get some more TV time.
Rusev hasn’t heard about his demand for a World Title shot but he’ll be here next week to get an answer.
Randy Orton/Sami Zayn/AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal/Baron Corbin/Kevin Owens
Sami and Corbin get things started but a quick tag brings in Owens. There’s no contact though as it’s off to Mahal for some kicks to the chest. Sami grabs a headscissors and brings in Orton so Mahal tags out to Owens. The threat of an RKO sends Owens out to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Corbin working over Sami and handing it off to Owens as the eternal feud continues. Sami is tossed outside for a stomping from Mahal, drawing AJ over to stare him down. Corbin’s chinlock keeps things slow so Jinder comes in for one of his own. The stomping keeps going and we take a break.
Back with AJ getting the hot tag to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. The running forearm drops a seated Corbin and Sami hits a big flip dive onto all three villains. Owens breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm though and Styles and Corbin are down. It’s Mahal breaking up the tag though and dropping a knee for two on Styles.
Owens comes back in for some very aggressive stomping and a chinlock of his own. That’s quite the popular move tonight and in no way a method to stretch out a long main event. The backsplash hits knees though and the hot tag brings in Orton. Everything breaks down and Owens eats the RKO, only to have Jinder’s cobra clutch slam put Orton away at 22:14.
Rating: C+. The match was more long than good and the ending extended the Mahal vs. Orton feud but this felt like a way to fill in TV time instead of a match that needed to go this long. I’m not sure how much people are going to buy Mahal’s cobra clutch slam as a threat to beat Orton but at least they’re setting it up as a possibility.
Overall Rating: D+. This was a rough one as it felt like a shortened version of Raw. The problem is I don’t watch Smackdown for a shortened version of Raw but rather something far more interesting and exciting. To be fair though, I think we can blame that on the UK tour as those shows are almost always lifeless. Some stuff was set up for the pay per view though and that’s important with just a show left beforehand.
Results
Natalya b. Becky Lynch – Natalya pulled her off the top rope
Erick Rowan b. Luke Harper – Spinning reverse powerslam
Breezango b. Ascension – Last Dance to Viktor
Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn/Randy Orton/AJ Styles – Cobra clutch slam to Orton
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – December 5, 2002: One Of My Favorite Matches
Smackdown Date: December 5, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re getting close to the end of the year and thankfully there are no turkeys involved this week. However there’s still Big Show, who can indeed be put in the F5 and chokeslams people through tables. Hopefully we get to see some more of the young guys being pushed, which would do Smackdown a lot of good. Let’s get to it.
The opening video points out that Stephanie McMahon is in charge and you better understand that. She suspended Brock Lesnar last week but he screwed himself you see.
Opening sequence.
Albert vs. Rey Mysterio
Albert has been stuck on Velocity lately and is ready to turn some heads. Fair enough, but will those heads be 8 3/8 inches? Mysterio kicks at the leg to start but gets caught in a good looking sitout gorilla press slam. Back up and Albert charges into a boot, followed by a springboard bulldog for two. The 619 connects but the West Coast Pop is countered into an over the shoulder backbreaker to give Albert the huge upset. Well…..I know they need new stars but ALBERT? They couldn’t have Benoit or Angle do this and then move on to face Lesnar? They use Albert for it instead? Uh…..yeah.
Post match Alberto beats Rey’s knee with chair, likely writing him off TV to repair an injury, until Edge makes a save.
Bill DeMott rants about being interviewed by Funaki, who can barely speak English.
Edge yells at the medics for not taking care of Mysterio fast enough.
Here’s Stephanie to brag about throwing herself at Scott Steiner in the name of getting him to sign with Smackdown. It’s worked though as Steiner will be here next week to sign. As for tonight, Lesnar is still suspended but he’ll get to appear via satellite to give his side of the story. At least Stephanie is now a heel and supposed to be obnoxious and mean.
Jamie Noble vs. Crash
Nidia jumps in on commentary as Jamie takes Crash down for an early two. Noble works him over in the corner and Nidia doesn’t want to talk about Jamie’s cousin Nunzio. Crash comes back with a clothesline and Bodog but stops to kiss Nidia. The distraction lets Jamie load up the Tiger Bomb, only to be reversed into the Crash Landing (Styles Clash) for the pin. Now that’s how you make a losing streak stick: a clean loss to a low level contender.
Jamie says Nunzio gets here next week.
Chris Benoit gives one heck of an interview about how his whole life has been about becoming World Champion but the broken neck held him back. This is edited off the Network, which is understandable, though annoying if you really want everything.
Dawn Marie comes up to Torrie and gets straight to the point: she wants Torrie instead of her dad. If she comes to Dawn’s hotel room tonight, the wedding is over. Torrie looks disturbed and says no way. Dawn asks how much Torrie loves her father and the wheels seem to be turning. This would have worked better if the acting was a bit higher and if it came off as sexy rather than stalkerish.
One thing here: what exactly is hurt by Al marrying Dawn? He’ll be with someone WAY out of his league and seems to be happy. Is she going to take what is likely very limited money? Or just leave him? Or is it just to torment Torrie into sleeping with her? I really don’t see how Al is hurt in this whole thing, assuming Dawn doesn’t try to swindle him somehow.
Funaki vs. Bill DeMott
DeMott has Marc Mero’s music. Funaki gets taken down and stomped a lot as the announcers recap how horrible DeMott’s career has been. Choking with some screaming has Funaki in trouble, followed by a powerslam and the moonsault for the pin. Just a squash with DeMott basically having the same character and motivation as Albert.
Los Guerreros are ready to win their matches tonight and make Grandma Guerrero proud. That should be everyone’s mission in life really.
We get the Lesnar sitdown interview and he got what he deserved for working with Paul Heyman. He heard Stephanie say that Lesnar screwed himself…..and here are Heyman and Big Show to interrupt. Heyman compares Lesnar to a child that needed a spanking and who better than Big Show to administer one? The two of them screwed Lesnar and loved it. If they could go back in time to the week before Survivor Series, they would do it all over again. After some plugs of tonight’s four way #1 contenders match, Lesnar promises to be at Armageddon.
Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero
Kidman is defending. A fan in the crowd has a sign saying the Guerreros will mow your lawn for a green card. As stupid as that is, Cole tops it by saying “Brock Lesnar has said he’ll be at Armageddon in person, whatever that means.” Kidman grabs a hurricanrana to start but gets caught in a gutbuster to give Chavo the real early control. Some shots to the kidneys set up an abdominal stretch but a Gory Bomb is countered into a rollup.
Kidman’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gets two and the BK Bomb is good for the same. They head up top at the same time for the big crash out to the floor and we have a bit of a breather. Back in and Kidman misses the Shooting Star, setting up the Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Kidman comes right back with something like a reverse implant DDT, followed by the Shooting Star to retain.
Rating: C+. The rib work didn’t go anywhere but it was nice to see Kidman getting some time instead of being thrown out there for three minutes before finishing with his one big move. Kidman can be a fine champion and a good choice for someone to take the title from later on so this is the right way to build him up.
Edge wants to become #1 contender but wants to get his hands on Albert too. He’s not entirely focused you see. Edge charges across the backstage and goes after Albert until referees break it up.
And now, a hip hop challenge between John Cena and Rikishi. They both rap and Rikishi wins the fan vote. An attack ensues but Rikishi and Tazz (hosting) easily fight off Cena and B Two. Dancing ensues and I have no idea how this helps anyone other than Rikishi.
Angle is ready for the main event.
Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero
Elimination rules and the winner gets Big Show at Armageddon. Before we’re ready to go though, Albert jumps Edge and takes out his knee. After everyone else is ready to go, Edge slowly limps down to the ring to have all four in the ring at once. The match is joined in progress after a break with Edge backdropping and flapjacking anyone he sees (save for the referee, commentators and fans of course) until Benoit and Angle start going after the leg.
Angle and Eddie head outside, leaving Benoit to stay on the bad knee. The half nelson faceplant gives Edge a breather but Eddie throws both of them outside. Eddie misses the frog splash and gets hit by the Swan Dive for two. The Edgecution gets two on Benoit, who pops up and Crossfaces Eddie for the elimination.
Angle is right there with the rolling German suplexes on Benoit but Edge comes back with the missile dropkick on Kurt. The knee is banged up again though and it’s Angle on his feet first. The Angle Slam is countered into an Edge-O-Matic but Benoit breaks it up with a Crossface on Edge which is broken up by an ankle lock. We get a ref bump so here’s Eddie with a belt shot to Benoit. Edge adds a spear to get rid of Chris and we’re down to two.
Kurt is right back up with the ankle lock though and Edge somehow lasts the better part of a minute. They both fall to the floor in a crash and we take a break. Back with Angle clotheslining a bloody Edge, who hammers away with right hands in the corner. That just earns him an overhead belly to belly as Angle turns it up one more notch. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Edge comes back with his own belly to belly.
Another Edge-O-Matic gets two as the announcers are selling the heck out of that bad knee. Angle rolls some more German suplexes but Edge, with his thong sticking out, gets a spear for two more. The Edgecution gets another near fall as the fans are losing their minds on these kickouts.
Edge actually blocks the corner running superplex and hits another missile dropkick. The Angle Slam gets two and the kickout only makes Kurt more angry. Edge rolls through the ankle lock for a hot two and it’s right back to the ankle lock. A rope is finally grabbed and Edge hits his own Angle Slam for two more. He takes too long getting up top though and the running Angle Slam FINALLY puts Edge away to give Angle the title shot.
Rating: A. I remember watching this match when it aired live and thinking it was amazing. While I remember it differently (I would have sworn that Edge came out halfway through the match and that the first two eliminations took the better part of fifteen minutes), it’s still an outstanding back and forth battle with the last seven or eight minutes being incredible. Angle and Edge were trading bomb after bomb with Edge finally getting caught at the end. Edge looked like a star here and….is going to be facing Albert at the pay per view. But that’s for another time as this was a great match and well worth checking out.
Big Show is IMMEDIATELY there to chokeslam Angle and stand tall.
We cut to Torrie going into Dawn’s hotel room. Dawn is waiting on her wearing a robe and sipping a glass of wine. Torrie looks very uncomfortable as Dawn tucks back her hair and says how much Torrie must love her father. If Torrie does everything Dawn wants, the wedding is off. Torrie goes to leave but Dawn says that means Torrie doesn’t love her father. That’s enough to get Torrie to stay and we’re out. I was rather intrigued by this when I was younger for obvious reasons but now…..egads. The fact that you know nothing is going to make TV and the payoff is Dawn vs. Torrie tells you everything you need to know.
Overall Rating: B-. The main event more than carries the week but we’re looking down the barrel of Albert, Rikishi, Bill DeMott and Big Show as some of the top stars of this show. I’m not sure why they would go that route when they have Edge, Benoit and Los Guerreros sitting there but WWE never was one to go with what people seemed interested in seeing. Above all else though, this show toned the Stephanie stuff down by a few thousand notches and it was much easier watch as a result. Good show this week but the future is looking scary.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – May 2, 2017: The Chris Jericho Alarm Clock
Smackdown Date: May 2, 2017
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal now and that means we’re in the Jinder Mahal Could Be World Champion Era. Mahal cost Randy Orton the House of Horrors match on Sunday to help set up the title match at Backlash in just under three weeks so Orton is likely out for revenge. Tonight we have Chris Jericho defending his newly regained US Title against Kevin Owens, which sounds like something could be up. Let’s get to it.
Earlier today, Jinder Mahal was in a photo shoot with the stolen Smackdown World Title. Shane McMahon came up and took it back while saying Mahal would be facing Sami Zayn tonight.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Shane to introduce Chris Jericho as the newest member of the Smackdown roster. See, this is the new Show of Jericho so smack it down man! Cue AJ Styles, who will face the US Champion, whoever that is (Owens) at Backlash. Styles reminisces about their previous issues and says he’s looking forward to Backlash where he can take the title.
That doesn’t sit well with Jericho, and do you know what happens when you don’t sit well with Jericho? It turns out that you get cut off by Owens, who is reminded that he tapped out. Owens wants AJ to get out of his ring so Styles goes up the ramp for a brawl. Shane: “SPLIT EM UP!” Jericho: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Shane gets his way as security breaks it up.
Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal
Zayn is still banged up after Baron Corbin attacked him last week on Talking Smack, earning Corbin a suspension for the week. Mahal elbows him in the back of the head to start but Sami speeds things up with a headscissors. A dropkick sends Mahal outside and we take a break. Back with Sami in a chinlock for a good while until Jinder gets two off a clothesline. And never mind as it’s right back to the chinlock.
Sami misses a dropkick but starts his clothesline based comeback, followed by the high crossbody for two. The corner climb tornado DDT looks to set up the Helluva Kick but one of the Singh Brothers pulls Mahal to the floor. The other grabs Sami’s foot, setting up the cobra clutch slam to give Mahal the pin at 10:57.
Rating: C. I think I might be starting to like Mahal and I don’t know what that means. Mahal certainly isn’t the next big thing in WWE but they’ve built him (with the Brothers) into enough of a threat that it could make for a good one off match. It’s a simple act and sometimes that’s all it needs to be.
Becky Lynch comes up to the Welcoming Committee and mentions them all by name for no apparent reason. They think Becky should be getting the shots that Charlotte gets but she doesn’t seem convinced.
Dolph Ziggler and some friends of his watch a Shinsuke Nakamura video and aren’t impressed. Ziggler runs his mouth about Nakamura and insults Shane, who is of course right behind him.
Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English
English isn’t happy with Tye for cutting off his song. Dillinger starts fast with a forearm and clothesline before stomping away in the corner. As usual, the TEN chants seem to be more over than he is but take what you can get. Tye loads up the Tyebreaker but spins English around into a facebuster instead of the backbreaker for the pin at 1:05.
English seems to have a breakdown post match.
Jericho is about to talk to Renee Young (who he calls Ronnie) when he runs into the crying Aiden English. There’s no need to cry when you can sing and have a hairy chest. That being said, do you know what happens when you cry on Chris Jericho’s new show? HE JUST MADE THE LIST! And so did Renee for no apparent reason!
Charlotte doesn’t think much of the Welcoming Committee so they beat her down.
Naomi/Charlotte vs. Carmella/Natalya
And there’s no Charlotte due to the attack. An early atomic drop doesn’t do anything to Carmella so Naomi kicks the heck out of her leg. Carmella’s kick has no effect either and it’s time for the dancing kicks. The fresh Natalya comes in and poses a bit before getting sunset flipped for two.
A headscissors puts Natalya on the floor but she blocks a baseball slide (that’s a new one) and sends Naomi face first into the steps. The double teaming puts Naomi in real trouble with Carmella shouting about Naomi wanting to kick her. Natalya and Naomi collide on a double crossbody and here’s a banged up Charlotte to take the hot tag. Now it’s Charlotte’s turn to get taken down by the numbers game and we take a break.
Back with Natalya fighting out of a bodyscissors with ease since Carmella really isn’t that big of a threat, even when Charlotte is injured. Carmella misses a Bronco Buster and the real hot tag brings in Naomi for a springboard crossbody. The Rear View should finish Carmella but Natalya offers a distraction, allowing Carmella to grab a rollup with tights for the pin at 11:42.
Rating: C-. Not much to see here but that’s all you can really ask for with people like Carmella and Natalya as your top heels. Natalya has been around forever and still doesn’t really have a character aside from being a member of the Hart Family and Carmella isn’t exactly ready for this spot. Not a bad match but the heels need a bigger star to make this story work.
The Welcoming Committee beats on Charlotte and Naomi until Becky Lynch slowly walks out. She shakes hands with the Committee before throwing Ellsworth into the women and hammering on all of them. Tamina superkicks Becky down and the Welcoming Committee stands tall.
Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler elbows him in the mask to start but eats a springboard elbow for his efforts. A big kick sends Ziggler to the floor and Cara only somewhat botches the suicide dive when his feet get caught on the ropes. Back in and Ziggler gets two off a neckbreaker before they botch…I think a reversal to a suplex where Ziggler couldn’t stick the landing. Ziggler quickly recovers with a fireman’s carry slam but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb. Not that it matters as Ziggler gets the superkick for the pin at 4:33.
Rating: D. The botches hurt it but Cara got in a lot more offense than you would have expected. That helps a match like this so much as it at least makes Ziggler look like he had to break a sweat. Cara might not be great but he’s a step above the Brooklyn Brawler so he should take a bit more effort.
Lana vignette.
And now, the Fashion Files from the Fashion Police. We go to a police station where Breezango are investigating the Usos for a variety of crimes. Fandango: “They’re twins.” Breeze: “Identity theft!” Along with making their outfits making Breezango’s eyes hurt, Tyler thinks they’re guilty of Jimmy and Jey walking. The big bust goes down in Chicago on May 21.
The best part here is everything in the background, ranging from a framed picture of the Big Boss Man to various news articles about the tag match to some wanted posters. A few examples are John Cena with whereabouts unknown, Nakamura as the King of Strong No Style and the Colons for real estate fraud. This is what giving a fresh team a shot can do for you as this was the first entertaining thing to happen to the division since American Alpha won the belts in the first place. Breezango might not be the best team in the world but they’re likeable and this was funny so give them a one off chance.
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens
Jericho is defending and Styles is banned from ringside. They waste no time in getting the fight started with Jericho stomping on the injured hand that cost Owens the title on Sunday. Owens sends him into the steps though and takes over without too much effort. The backsplash keeps Jericho in trouble and he’s thrown outside for a Cannonball against the barricade.
Back from a break with Jericho escaping the Pop Up Powerbomb but Lionsaulting onto knees. The second attempt works fine and it’s off to the Walls. This time Owens makes the rope but another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Walls in the middle of the ring. A much better tease of the tap out sets up Owens making the ropes again and it’s back to the floor. Owens nails a loud superkick and DDTs him onto the ramp. Back in and another superkick sets up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the title back at 12:40.
Rating: B. I wanted to see more of this but they did the right thing by having Owens hit a big move with the superkick on the floor and then get in a few more moves to win the title back. It felt like Owens proving himself to be the better man and that’s exactly what it needed to be. The ending wasn’t exactly a surprise but Owens has the title back and that’s what matters.
Medics come in to check on Jericho, who takes another powerbomb. Owens leaves and a very woozy looking Jericho is carried out. Of course Kevin comes back out and puts a chair around Jericho’s neck which is sent into the post. Owens slowly walks up the ramp to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. There was no secret to the fact that this was all about the main event and almost nothing more. You can see a lot of the Backlash card from here and they’re actually doing a good job of setting up a show on such short notice. The title change felt like a big moment and it sets Owens on a roll before Backlash. It’s not a great show and it was rather dull at several points (namely the women’s tag) but it worked well enough.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. Sami Zayn – Cobra clutch slam
Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English – Fireman’s carry into a facebuster
Carmella/Natalya b. Naomi/Charlotte – Rollup with a handful of tights
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Superkick
Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Pop Up Powerbomb
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – November 28, 2002: Thank You For Stephanie, Wrestling, Stephanie, Brock Lesnar and Stephanie
Smackdown Date: November 28, 2002
Location: Carolina Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Ernest Miller
It’s time for a special Thanksgiving show with guest star Scott Steiner. I’m not sure how wrestling is supposed to have guest stars but in theory it’s because Steiner isn’t on the Smackdown roster. I mean, he’s not on the Raw roster and wasn’t guest starring there but continuity isn’t WWE’s strong suit. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar from last week, which somehow focuses on Stephanie McMahon. WWE could produce a documentary on the tag team scene in the Nebraska territory back in the 1940s and somehow she would be there to comment on it.
Opening sequence, still prominently featuring the Rock, who hasn’t been here in…..six months?
Speaking of the devil in a sweater, here’s Stephanie to open things up. She’s not sure if she should suspend Brock Lesnar and actually says she doesn’t speak to hear herself talk. That must be her attempts at comedy. See, she’s multi-talented. We know she can dance so maybe we’ll get a song later on.
We do get Lesnar’s song as he comes out to get in Stephanie’s face because he should be here while she talks about his career. Stephanie bails to the ramp and has security escort Brock out. Lesnar is officially suspended indefinitely and Stephanie orders him out of her arena. So was that a heel turn? Not that it matters as Stephanie plays a villain on TV, as per her Twitter page.
Post break, here’s Stephanie’s announcement again. Not that she likes hearing herself talk of course.
Lesnar is escorted out and drives away.
Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. John Cena/Matt Hardy
Matt has been to Plymouth Rock and thinks Thanksgiving is boring. Cena now has B Squared with him and the announcers make Vanilla Ice jokes. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Cena down to start and Edge adds a flapjack to make things even better. A missed charge gives Cena two though and it’s time to stomp away. The Side Effect gives Matt two and we hit the cravate. B Squared: “COME ON DAWG!”
Edge fights back and hits a middle rope dropkick on Cena and it’s Rey time. Things speed way up with the springboard seated senton to Matt and a drop toehold to send Matt’s head between Cena’s legs. Sounds like something Stephanie would find funny. Matt takes the 619 and Edge dives onto the rap duo. Rey tries a hurricanrana but Matt powerbombs him down and grabs the ropes for the pin.
Rating: C. Is there a reason Hardy was in this and not just Cena and Buchanan? I like the idea of making a new team and having two guys who have been working hard in the last few weeks get a win is always a good thing. Edge and Mysterio are a made team for the moment, though I’m not sure how much longer they’re actually going to be together. Not a bad little match.
Kurt Angle asks Stephanie if she’s ok. So she’s funny, a song and dance woman, bossy and in need of attention? Anyway she doesn’t like this town and thinks they should love her for bringing them Scott Steiner. Angle brings up his Tag Team Title match tonight when he teams with Chris Benoit. Stephanie asks if everything has to be about him and then brings up her monthly issues (Aunt Flo is mentioned). Kurt doesn’t get it and, again, THIS WASN’T FUNNY.
Lesnar has been rumored to be seen coming back to the arena. He left in an SUV so Marc Lloyd goes up to a limo, thinking it’s Brock. It’s actually Steiner, who flexes instead of talking.
Tajiri vs. Chuck Palumbo
Uh…..sure. Tajiri kicks him in the head as Miller talks about his Aunt Flo visiting as well. Chuck’s right hand has no effect so Tajiri kicks him in the head again. A chinlock doesn’t get Tajiri very far and the handspring is countered into something like a belly to back suplex. Why has no one ever tried just stepping to the side and letting him crash? Palumbo gets smart and takes the knee out before grabbing a reverse Boston crab. Tajiri makes the rope and uses the mist, setting up the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.
Rating: D. I always liked Palumbo and the reverse Boston crab could have been a decent finisher but you’re only going to get so far as Chuck Palumbo: guy in trunks. This was one heck of a random match but maybe there’s a big chuck of the roster gone due to the holiday. Nothing match but at least Tajiri won.
Stephanie fixes herself up for Steiner but gets the Fabulous Moolah again. The boss insults Columbia until Moolah, who Stephanie calls Lil, comes in. I guess this is like when she was BEST FRIENDS with Andre the Giant and she made sure to tell us about it. Why do I have a feeling she was front and center in anything they put out about Andre too? For reasons of something stupid later on, Stephanie puts Moolah in a match.
Lloyd asks a ticket scalper if he sold Lesnar a ticket but can’t get anywhere. This show is really, really stupid so far.
Matt stops Paul Heyman and Big Show and says he’s the reason Lesnar got suspended.
Torrie Wilson is dressed as an Indian for a fashion show when she runs into Kidman. She doesn’t know what a pilgrim fashion show is but will do whatever it takes to get closer to hurting Dawn Marie.
Miller emcees the fashion show in the role that would usually be filled by Tazz (off due to a family emergency). There’s a table of food behind him and I might as well hit fast forward already. Torrie is dressed as an Indian and Dawn is…..a stereotypical hot secretary who is supposed to look like a pilgrim because her outfit is black with white trim. A person in a turkey suit comes out and of course it’s Al Wilson. Al starts talking about how much he loves Thanksgiving so Cole literally screams for help. Wilson talks about “my little pookins” but Miller calls him a jive turkey.
Torrie takes off her coat to reveal a bikini and Dawn just dances. The catfight ensues and food goes into various faces. Torrie puts a pumpkin on Dawn’s head and we get a REALLY obvious fake Torrie chant. You know, it’s impressive but they’ve managed to make a feud involving gorgeous women in swimsuits/lingerie a nightmare to watch. I’m not sure who could possibly make that happen but it’s certainly not Stephanie.
Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros
Eddie and Chavo are defending. Benoit starts with Chavo and elbows him into the corner as they seem to have a lot of time. The champs bail to the floor but Angle and Benoit argue instead of following up. Eddie comes back in to headlock Angle, who snaps off a powerslam. Benoit grabs a German suplex on Chavo but Angle doesn’t like him getting in the ring. With the argument ensuing, the champs walk up the ramp for the countout, only to have the referee say the match isn’t ending that way. How dare he take the match into his own hands like that. What a maverick.
Back from a break with Eddie putting Benoit in a seated abdominal stretch as the pace has slowed a lot. Benoit sends Chavo into his uncle and grabs a Crossface, only to have Eddie make a quick save. We hit the chinlock The fans want Angle as the champs hit a double suplex. Eddie’s slingshot hilo doesn’t quite work as Benoit throws him to the side and suplexes Chavo. Now it’s off to Angle for the suplexes, only to have Benoit tag himself back in for some rolling German suplexes of his own.
The Swan Dive only gets two but Eddie hits Angle low. The frog splash only hits mat and it’s back to back Angle Slams to drop the champs. Benoit Crossfaces Eddie but Angle breaks it up and puts on the ankle lock instead. Finally they compromise and put on a double submission, which is broken up by the overzealous referee. That means a ref bump, allowing Chavo to put Benoit down. Chavo’s frog splash gives Eddie two so he belts Benoit in the head for the pin to retain.
Rating: B+. This is still the go to match for Smackdown and that’s still a very good thing. Benoit and Angle bickering needs to go somewhere soon though as you can only have them fight so many times before it stops meaning anything. Eddie and Chavo stealing another win fits them so well, though I could go for something other than the belt shot for the pin.
Nidia is glad Jamie Noble didn’t call his cousin Nunzio when Scott Steiner comes up. Scott won’t shake his hands but will grab a good sized piece of Nidia’s, shall we say, hip area.
Post break Nidia and Noble are in the ring with Jamie calling out Steiner. A posedown ensues and Noble is subsequently destroyed. Steiner makes sure to get another grab of Nidia before saying he hasn’t decided on Raw or Smackdown.
It’s time for MORE STEPHANIE with Heyman coming in to say Show will defend against Lesnar tonight. Stephanie already has a title defense for Show tonight though, against someone of championship status. Normally that would interest me but tonight it means he’ll be facing Moolah because that would be the dumbest thing they could do.
Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Crash
Billy is defending but gets pulled to the floor to start for an elbow to the face. Back in and Kidman scores with the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker, only to have Crash roll through a high crossbody for two. Kidman’s headscissors is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always thought that could be a solid finisher) and a Bodog gets two. Not that it matters as Kidman pops back up with a quick BK Bomb. The shooting star retains the title.
Rating: C+. I liked the match but not so much on the booking. Crash looked better than he has in a long time, which really doesn’t do much for Kidman. This was your standard “let them do moves to each other for a few minutes because we don’t have time to let them have a longer match”, which isn’t exactly the most thrilling thing in the world. Good enough match but as usual, it doesn’t mean anything for either guy.
Big Show and Moolah (good thing she brought her gear) are coming to the ring because OF COURSE this is what they’re doing.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Fabulous Moolah
Moolah, challenging here (in case you’re REALLY slow) and hides in the corner to start. Heyman jumps on the apron and talks about how awesome Moolah is before saying Show sees her as Brock Lesnar. Moolah is grabbed by the throat but Lesnar comes through the crowd for the save. An F5 through the table knocks Show cold so Lesnar can go after Heyman. Actually never mind because STEPHANIE IS HERE AGAIN, this time with security to stop the suspended Lesnar to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. The tag match and Torrie in her costume alone save this thing as they were clearly putting it in the deep freeze due to the holiday. Big Show vs. Lesnar is a really weird feud as they’re still feuding but can’t actually have a match together due to whatever their reason is at the moment. Somehow that leaves us with Big Show vs. Moolah because that’s as good as it gets around here.
That leaves us with the major problem: WAY too much Stephanie. I have no idea who thinks we need to see this much of her, let alone hear about her various physical issues. How does that make me want to watch next week, buy a pay per view, or go to a show? This felt more like Stephanie vs. Brock which went to a draw at worst. Really weak show this week and just being Thanksgiving isn’t enough of an excuse.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: April 25, 2017
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Can we call this a go home show? I mean, Payback is a Raw show but it feels like half of the major matches are built around Smackdown talent, or at least a combination of the two shows. Tonight is a packed show as well with three announced matches plus a Beat the Clock Challenge. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Shinsuke Nakamura (now billed as an artist) to open things up. In your first sign of WWE stupidity/being annoying, he loads up the signature pose and as he pulls the arm back, let’s cut to a crowd shot for a reaction! Before he can say anything, here’s Dolph Ziggler to interrupt.
Ziggler won’t let him talk and says Nakamura is actually named Michael and he’s from Gary, Indiana. We hear a bunch of Jackson Family stories and apparently Nakamura is Michael Jackson’s alter ego. Nakramura takes the mic and insults Ziggler a bit, earning himself a kick to the ribs. That just means the exploder but Ziggler bails from Kinshasa.
Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles
Kevin Owens is on commentary. AJ’s headlock starts things off and stays on for a good while. Corbin gets bored waiting though and launches him out to the floor for a very early break. Back with Corbin holding a chinlock, followed by a chokebreaker (that’s a good move for him) for two.
AJ slips out of a superplex and scores with the Pele as Owens says Saxton makes him miss Michael Cole. Owens: “Do you know how hard that is?” Styles’ low running forearm gets two but the Calf Crusher is blocked. Instead he loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but has to kick Owens away. Corbin’s powerbomb is countered into a quick sunset flip to give Styles the pin at 10:51.
Rating: C+. I’m not wild on Corbin getting pinned but Styles needed to dispatch him before the title shot. At least it was closer to a fluke win after a fairly dominant performance, which certainly helps keep Corbin looking strong. I’m not sure what he’ll be doing at the pay per view but I hope it’s not a multi-man match.
The post match beatdown is on until Sami Zayn makes the save. That means a Helluva Kick for Corbin but Owens jumps Sami and powerbombs AJ.
Beat the Clock: American Alpha vs. Colons
There are four teams in the competition (another match later) and the winners get a future title shot. Alpha starts fast with the rollup attempts (makes sense) but Gable has to fight out of the wrong corner. The Colons send Gable into the corner though and the double teaming lets the cousins take over.
An armbar wastes some time before Primo grabs a chinlock at the three minute mark. Something like a reverse Koji Clutch keeps Gable in trouble before Primo drops Jordan off the apron. Back up and the powerbomb/Backstabber combination is broken up and a quick Grand Amplitude gives Alpha the pin, setting the time at 5:17.
Rating: C. JBL was right on during this match as he was yelling about the chinlocks and the wasting the time in a match built around winning as fast as possible. Alpha winning is good though I’m really hoping Breezango gets the title shot, if nothing else for the sake of not having to see the Usos vs. Alpha in another match. They’re good but I’ve seen it enough already.
Rusev says he hasn’t shown up yet because he doesn’t like the Smackdown bosses. If he doesn’t get a championship match at Money in the Bank, he’s going back to Bulgaria.
Becky Lynch doesn’t have much of an issue with what Charlotte did last week. The welcoming committee of Natalya/Carmella/Tamina/Ellsworth show up and say Becky is with them or against them.
Randy Orton vs. Erick Rowan
Non-title and No DQ. They head outside to start with Rowan being bounced off the post. The belly to back onto the table keeps Rowan in trouble but he comes right back with a bad looking running dropkick. A few kendo stick shots get two on Orton and it’s already table time. Orton makes his comeback and a few swings of the stick put Rowan through the table.
Back from a break with Rowan in control because tables aren’t the big deal that they’re made out to be. The elevated DDT cuts Rowan off but the RKO is countered. Rowan hits him in the head with the steps but makes the mistake of wedging a chair in the corner. His head goes off of it all of fifteen seconds later and the RKO gives Orton the pin at 12:13.
Rating: B-. So here’s the thing: this was billed as a preview for the House of Horrors match but given that we have no idea what the House of Horrors is, how can we get a preview for it? For all we know, the House of Horrors is a turkey on a pole match. They really need to get this over with already and more on to anything else, which somehow includes Jinder Mahal.
Orton: “I don’t know what a House of Horrors match is but I have a feeling I’ll find out on Sunday.” Orton promises to destroy Wyatt like he’s done a million times but here’s Jinder Mahal to interrupt. He’s the real horror and has more wealth and class than Orton could ever hope to have. Mahal promises to win the title for his people and speaks some Punjabi before getting in a fight. Cue the Bollywood Boyz to slow Orton down, allowing Mahal to get in the cobra clutch slam. Mahal leaves with the title.
Post break Mahal and the Boyz leave in a Hummer limo.
Beat the Clock: Ascension vs. Breezango
The clock is set at 5:17 and Ascension doesn’t get an entrance. Viktor shows some intelligence by hitting a running elbow to Breeze’s jaw for two less than ten seconds in. Konnor comes in for some near falls of his own but Breeze escapes for the hot tag to Fandango. Everything breaks down and Fall of Man is broken up, allowing Breeze to superkick Viktor into the Falcon Arrow for the pin at 2:41. Good call here as Breezango is a popular enough team for a one off title shot.
Video on Wyatt vs. Orton.
Naomi doesn’t want to hear about Charlotte talking about being the best. It’s time to feel the Glow.
Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is challenging after defeating Naomi last week. After the Big Match Intros, Charlotte is sent outside but pulls Naomi out for a crash. Back from a break with Naomi caught in a cravate, followed by some stomping in the corner. Naomi makes her comeback with a hurricanrana and a bulldog, followed by a Chick Kick for two.
The Rear View gives Naomi her real near fall before another hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees, which JBL calls a turning point. And never mind as here’s the Welcoming Committee (seems to be their official name) to pull Naomi to the floor for the DQ at 10:33.
Rating: C-. This match suffered from a common problem as we were just waiting on the ending. Making Charlotte a face (maybe) is interesting as you can only have her do the entitled heel character for so long. The Welcoming Committee is fine for a way to fill in time until someone new (Asuka) comes up to give Charlotte a real challenge. Not much to see here but it worked well enough.
Charlotte gets beaten down to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This is a show where the wrestling really doesn’t tell the whole story. So many of the stories feel like they’re setting up filler matches, which isn’t a good thing when the pay per view is almost a month away. Payback is really messing things up but at the same time we have to deal with Jinder Mahal as the #1 contender. The worst part is that he’s really not a horrible character (done before but not horrible). The problem is that it’s Jinder Mahal playing it and there’s no reason to believe he’s ready for this level. This week flew by but without anything interesting, it’s not much of a show.
Results
AJ Styles b. Baron Corbin – Sunset flip
American Alpha b. Colons – Grand Amplitude to Epico
Randy Orton b. Erick Rowan – RKO
Breezango b. Ascension – Falcon Arrow to Viktor
Naomi b. Charlotte via DQ when the Welcoming Committee interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – November 21, 2002: The Big Stupid Coward
Smackdown Date: November 21, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re in the Big Show era now as he defeated Brock Lesnar to win the Smackdown World Title at Survivor Series. Hopefully this one doesn’t last too long as I’m not sure I can handle sitting through it. Unless Lesnar gets a rematch, it would make sense to have one of those tag guys get the next shot as they’ve been the hottest thing in the company for months. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s WWE career leading into his feud with Big Show. Paul Heyman is prominently featured, setting up his heel turn at the pay per view.
Lesnar is waiting for Big Show. What is with wrestlers always arriving late? It seems to happen every week.
Opening sequence.
Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble
Mysterio starts fast with the dropkicks and a headscissors for good measure. A trip to the floor seems to clear Jamie’s head as he sends Rey into the buckle and dropkicks him in the back of the mask. Rey keeps up the trend with a dropkick and a flapjack for two. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Rey has to go after an interfering Nidia.
Back in and Jamie throws Rey into the air, only to have Mysterio springboard right into the hurricanrana for the pin. I remember taping this show and thinking that was so cool I actually showed it to a friend. Jamie standing there waiting on Mysterio to bounce back and looking up so he can take the hurricanrana doesn’t help but it’s still cool enough.
Lesnar is still angrily waiting and goes into the locker room. For some reason Matt Hardy thinks it’s a good idea to give him some criticism. Maybe if Brock had a few more Mattributes, he wouldn’t have suffered such an unfortunate twist of fate. Matt is then thrown through a wall, leaving a hole so big that Crash Holly can be seen on the other side.
Post break, Stephanie comes to check on Matt. Eddie Guerrero tells her that Brock did it, which surprises Stephanie. So wait: not only is she not watching the show but she sees a grown man thrown through a wall and doesn’t ask WHAT HAPPENED HERE? Basically everyone is scared of Lesnar so Stephanie will take care of him. Eddie asks if Brock will listen to a woman, setting Stephanie up for exactly the response you would expect from her.
Noble doesn’t know what to do but decides to call his crazy cousin Nunzio. Nidia is very worried about this choice.
Stephanie says Lesnar can have a rematch when he’s healed up but he’s suspended if he attacks anyone else. Somehow this takes a minute and a half because of that weird way Stephanie speaks.
Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri
Maybe the winner gets Torrie. Kidman is defending and offers an early handshake, earning himself a hard kick to the head. More kicks get more two counts before Tajiri mixes it up with the Tarantula. Kidman seems to hurt his head on a hurricanrana so Tajiri makes it worse with another kick to the head. The announcers find ways to praise Stephanie as Kidman gets in a spinebuster, followed by the shooting star to retain.
Rating: C. My head is hurting from those kicks as Tajiri was blasting Kidman every time. That’s why I like Tajiri so much: he’s not going to shift from that one idea very often but he does that thing very well. He doesn’t try to do anything out of his wheelhouse and it still works. It’s like Rhyno, which is why they’ve both had such long careers.
Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero
Eddie is ejected before the bell, just in case Chavo thought he had any chance. Benoit starts fast by sending Chavo chest first into the corner but can only hit one German suplex. A gutbuster drops Benoit and his shoulder goes into the post as Chavo takes his pick of the body parts.
Not that it matters as Benoit SNAPS him down into a Crossface attempt but Chavo makes the ropes. Back in and Benoit rolls three straight German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive for two. Benoit is so annoyed that he allows Chavo to fire some shoulders into the ribs. Chavo tries a springboard clothesline but dives straight into the Crossface for the tap.
Rating: C+. This made perfect sense as Chavo tried everything he could but just wasn’t in Benoit’s league. Seeing Benoit grab the suplexes and the Crossface from pretty much wherever he wanted made him look awesome with the hold looking better than it has in a long time. Chavo tried here but was in over his head, which made for a good story.
Stephanie tells Lesnar to stay in the back while Heyman and Show go to the ring. If Lesnar goes to the ring, she’ll suspend him.
Here’s Heyman, coming out to Lesnar’s music and wearing the title, complete with the bounce on the stage. Cole: “I think Heyman is mocking Lesnar.” Heyman talks about having the it factor that separates you from the rest of the locker room, which applies to himself of course. He prepared Lesnar for everything he was going to do and is responsible for all of his successes.
Then the monster stopped listening to Dr. Frankenstein because it takes more than physical attributes to be on top of the mountain. He orchestrated the greatest inside job in sports entertainment history (How can anyone hear that wording and think it sounds good?) and look at the success he’s created.
Here’s Big Show, with Heyman kneeling down to hand him the title. Show thanks Lesnar for the opportunity and heaps praise on Heyman. Edge has a shot later tonight but there’s no way he’s losing the title just yet. Oh and one more thing: Lesnar is officially fired and there’s a no rematch clause in the contract. As they go to leave, here’s Lesnar with a chair to lay Show out. The worst part is Lesnar running right at him and Show turning around to run. So he’s big, stupid, and a coward. Sounds like your typical heel champion.
During the break, Stephanie yells at Lesnar some more because that’s what she gets to do.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle
During the entrances, Cole announces next week as “an all new Smackdown with special guest star Scott Steiner.” Just in case you thought it was a rerun with Milton Berle. Chavo is ejected as well so we can have consistent refereeing for once. An early headlock sends Eddie outside as thinks slow down.
Back in and Angle busts out a monkey flip of all things before a suplex puts Eddie outside again. Angle follows this time and gets sent back first into the steps as Eddie cheats to take over. Eddie does the old “grab two chairs so the stupid referee only sees one”, allowing him to smack Angle in the back with the other. A northern lights suplex gets two as the dumb fans chant USA. Thankfully Cole points out that Eddie is from Texas as we hit the camel clutch.
Angle gets a DDT for a breather and here’s Chavo to watch from the stage. We hit the rolling German suplexes until a low blow breaks Angle’s momentum. As I wonder how the referee didn’t see that, Chavo comes down and gets in a few stomps. Cue Benoit to just stare at Chavo, even as he goes down to stomp on Angle some more. They trade submission attempts until Angle throws him with a release German suplex. Chavo gets forearmed off the apron, leaving Angle to run the corner for a super Angle Slam and the pin.
Rating: B. Like these two aren’t going to have a really good match. The Benoit stuff adds a new layer to the story and you can feel the big Angle vs. Benoit feud building very nicely. Eddie and Chavo getting beaten up like this is fine as all they have to do is hold up the belts again and everything will be back to normal. Good match here, filling the quota for the week.
Angle gives Chavo the ankle lock post match as the champs are easily dispatched. Benoit offers Kurt some applause.
We look at Scott Steiner beating up Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy. Nowinski is one thing but Hardy’s role in that segment is just dumb.
Edge is ready for Big Show but Funaki thinks Show is like Godzilla. That makes Edge King Kong but he’s willing to fight for the title.
Another Raw moment: This is Your Life Rock. That’s still amazing.
John Cena vs. Rikishi
Actually hang on a second as Dawn Marie and Al Wilson come out to invite us to their wedding. The match is joined in progress with Cena hitting a belly to back suplex, followed by sitting on Rikishi’s chest. That earns him a toss to the floor and a Samoan Drop, followed by a belly to belly for the pin.
Post match Rikishi loads up the Rump Shaker but Bull Buchanan comes in to save Cena. I might be thinking about this too hard but it might have been better to have Cena WIN THE MATCH and then have Buchanan show up.
Show says he can’t wrestle tonight because of Lesnar’s attack. Heyman isn’t about to go anywhere with Lesnar around.
We recap Lesnar and Show’s night.
Heyman is in Stephanie’s office but can’t get Show out of the main event. If Lesnar gets involved, she’ll suspend him. Heyman: “Like you did before?” Lawsuits against Stephanie and company are threatened so she throws him out. In case you haven’t figured it out, this was the 14th or so segment tonight to show you that Stephanie RUNS SMACKDOWN. Let’s say it together shall we? Stephanie runs Smackdown. Now don’t you forget it or more lectures will ensue.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Edge
Edge is challenging and is thrown into the corner almost immediately. Show launches him with ease and stands on Edge’s head (not to be confused with the Edgeheads) as this is already in slow motion. An Edgecution attempt is countered as easily as you would expect it to be and Show posts edge to keep the pace. We hit the bearhug as Heyman tells Edge he’d be good representation.
A turnbuckle pad was removed somewhere in there and Edge sends him face first into the buckle, followed by a low blow for good measure. Edge gets two off a tornado DDT and three spears finally drop Show. Heyman breaks up the pin though, allowing Show to grab the chokeslam. We’re not done yet though as Heyman wants Show to treat Edge like he’s Lesnar. That means a second chokeslam but here’s Lesnar for an F5 before a third can connect. I guess the match was thrown out.
Rating: D+. Edge’s comeback was good but when you watch him tear the house down with everyone else, it’s really hard to sit through Big Show’s eight mile an hour offense. He’s the current monster champion and hopefully that means his days with the title are numbered. This really wasn’t interesting and I have no interest in watching him doing his “hey, I’m big” promos and bad matches while I know the roster is capable of so much more.
Lesnar chases Heyman through the crowd to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing terrible here and they kept the bad stuff short but there’s nothing that really offers a spark to make me want to keep watching. The tag stuff seems to be coming to an end and that leaves Rikishi, Big Show, Al/Dawn and whatever Los Guerreros are doing. Now the latter of that list is fine but the rest….egads the rest. The show was still fun but this didn’t really leave me optimistic.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: June 29, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is an interesting show as it’s just after Chris Benoit’s death but now the real story has come out and WWE looks kind of bad after Monday’s tribute show. I mean, of course they should have immediately assumed a man snapped and murdered his family because that’s the natural line of thought. It’s back to storylines tonight so let’s get to it.
We open with Vince McMahon talking about how they’ve found out what happened with Benoit and how there will be no mention of his name save for these comments. Instead, tonight is dedicated to the memories of everyone affected by this incident. And that’s the last you’ll hear of Benoit on WWE TV. It’s also edited off the Network but that has to be expected.
Opening sequence.
Ric Flair vs. Carlito
This is a mostly if not all interpromotional show as they were planning another Benoit tribute and then everything changed. Flair used to mentor Carlito but Carlito felt he was entitled to whatever he wanted. Chops and right hands have Carlito in trouble but he gets in an awkward looking dropkick in the corner. A better dropkick gets two and they head to the corner for more kicks and chops.
Carlito starts in on Flair’s damaged ribs and JBL actually talks about what it means to not be able to breathe in the ring. Six left hands in the corner (not ten for no apparent reason) give Carlito two and it’s off to a bodyscissors as the crowd is trying to stay in this one. Ric comes back with chops and JBL is already bowing down as much as he can. The Figure Four makes Carlito tap without too much effort.
Rating: C-. Just a match here with Carlito working on the injured body part to keep Flair in trouble but losing to the better man at the end. I never got the appeal of Carlito and Flair didn’t do much for me around this time but at least the was entertaining enough while it lasted. Above all else though it made sense and that’s arguably more important.
Lance Cade vs. Matt Hardy
Their teams are feuding over Cade’s (and Trevor Murdoch’s) Tag Team Titles. Feeling out process to start with Cade getting in an early dropkick before starting in on the arm. The announcers talk about how Cade is similar to JBL and how Matt has matured in the last year (pick which one you want to make fun of more) as Matt gets in a few shots to take over. A sitout spinebuster plants Matt though and gives the rather dull Cade two.
We hit an abdominal stretch (Cade: “ASK HIM!” No wonder Jericho mentored him later.) for a bit before Cade just BLASTS HIM with a clothesline. JBL says he won a World Title with a clothesline, which makes me believe that his title reign was so boring that even he doesn’t remember how he won the belt. Cade gets two more off a superplex but gets caught in a very quick Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin.
Rating: D+. It felt like they were ready to push Matt if they could find the right spot but it just never came together for a variety of reasons. He was about to start in on the US Title feud with MVP but it took WAY too long to get to the payoff. Hardy gave Cade a lot here though and that should be good for Lance going forward.
We look at Judgment Day 2007 with Edge beating Batista to retain the Smackdown World Title.
Michelle McCool likes frolicking on the beach in a bikini. She got SO much better as part of Laycool.
Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki
Chavo is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Noble and Funaki are just kind of hanging around at this point but Jamie is more serious than usual for an upgrade. Jamie gets sent into the corner to start but pops back up to kick Funaki in the face. The slow pace picks up a bit with Chavo sunset flipping Jamie who sends Funaki flying with a release German suplex. Jamie and Chavo are sent outside for a big dive from Funaki, followed by a bulldog on Jamie for good measure. Not that it matters as Chavo comes back in and grabs the Gory Bomb to retain.
Rating: C-. Not terrible here but the match had no heat and was just kind of there for the sake of getting one of Benoit’s friends on the show (nothing wrong with that). Funaki and Jamie were WAY past their peaks as title contenders at this point though to be fair, WWE didn’t exactly try to hide it.
Edge storms into Vickie Guerrero’s (acting for Teddy Long, who is getting ready to get married) office looking for Teddy. He doesn’t want to face Batista tonight but calms down a bit when he finds out it’s non-title. Edge will compete under protest tonight. Vickie really hadn’t found her stride yet.
Jesse and Festus are happy to be coming to Smackdown.
Deuce N Domino vs. Cryme Tyme
Non-title and interpromotional again. Domino and JTG start things off with the latter scoring off a middle rope leg lariat. Shad slams JTG onto Domino (now with a very bloody nose) for two and it’s off to Deuce to take over. A cobra clutch goes nowhere so it’s back to Shad for the power displays. Cherry (Deuce’s cousin) offers a distraction though and Shad gets rolled up for the pin.
Rating: D. I liked Deuce N Domino but this was a really boring match with nothing interesting going on. There’s nothing to see here (save for Cherry) and that’s one of the major issues with this show: matches with no stories and no reason for them to be fighting isn’t the most intriguing stuff in the world.
Cryme Tyme is way too smiley after losing like that.
Post break Deuce N Domino are in the ring so Cryme Tyme steals their car and promises to take it to a chop shop.
MVP vs. Kane
Non-title (MVP is US Champion) again. Kane easily powers him out of the ring and you can see the fear on MVP’s face. Back in and MVP thinks better of it before bailing outside again. MVP goes for the arm and actually has some success before going after the leg. According to commentary, Kane’s entire career is built around the big boot. That’s one of those lines that makes so little sense that I don’t even want to try to figure it out. Kane makes his comeback with a running clothesline and the side slam, followed by the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam gives Kane the clean pin.
Rating: D. Not only was it boring, but Kane didn’t even use a big boot to win! I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE! Nothing to see here, but that’s not the biggest surprise in the world here given that they only had a few minutes and the champion lost clean. Kane wouldn’t win the title so it’s not like this meant anything.
Video on Vengeance, which is a completely forgotten show for all the wrong reasons.
Eugene is glad to be on Smackdown but his debut match is against Great Khali.
Victoria and new Smackdown talent Mickie James get in an argument over who is wilder. To prove her wildness, Victoria promises to kiss whomever comes out of a door next. It’s Howard Finkel so we’ll skip him and move on to…..Jim Duggan. Jim leaves before any kissing can ensue so Mickie takes Victoria’s place. She ignores Big Dick Johnson until Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase. That was one of the dumbest segments I’ve ever seen, which covers a lot of ground.
Mickie James vs. Victoria
Mickie looks GREAT here. It’s a wrestling sequence to start until Mickie gets in a crossbody for the first major offense. Victoria crotches her on top though and ties Mickie up in the Tree of Woe for some hair pulling. The torture rack into the spinning side slam gets two but Mickie gets a hurricanrana out of the corner. Victoria breaks up the MickieDT but misses a moonsault. A quick rollup gives Mickie the pin in what felt like an audible.
Rating: C+. It’s amazing what happens when you have two talented women who are working hard, even in a short match. The Smackdown women were basically left alone and allowed to actually wrestle instead of all the nonsense going on over on Raw. It’s not a great match or anything but it was fun while it lasted, even with the odd ending.
Great Khali vs. Eugene
Tree slam for the pin in less than forty five seconds.
Batista says that he’ll settle for punishing Edge if he can’t have a title shot.
Edge vs. Batista
Non-title. Edge hides in the ropes for the first minute or so until he starts kicking at the knee. Batista switches things up with a single leg takedown of all things before throwing on a Brock Lock. A knee crusher sets up a half crab on the champ as Batista has an interesting definition of punishment. Edge tries a low blow but Batista grabs the hand so we keep going. Batista’s running forearm knocks Edge into the barricade and we take a break.
Back with Edge getting in a shot to the back and snapping the neck across the top rope. We hit the cravate as the announcers bicker about Edge never pinning Batista…..except for that one time, which makes Cole sound even dumber than usual. Batista comes back with a spear and side slam as we’re just waiting on what’s likely to be a clean fall over the champ. A spinebuster counters Edge’s spear and the Batista Bomb gives Batista (in case that wasn’t clear) the pin.
Rating: C+. As soon as this was announced as a non-title match, you pretty much knew the ending from there. Edge is the kind of guy who can bounce back with a promo or doing something sleazy so it’s not the biggest problem in the world, though it’s still rather annoying. Either that or he’ll just get hurt again and vacate the title, which wound up happening less than a month after this.
Overall Rating: D+. Totally nothing show here but that’s the case with something like this. There isn’t a really good match on the card and certainly nothing worth going out of your way to see. The real problem here is the lack of storylines (and the two singles champions losing clean) as that’s just not enough to carry a show. Skip this one as it’s not even worth the (incredibly limited) historical value.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here: