Smackdown
Date: February 14, 2017
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Tom Phillips, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

There’s nothing in between us and Wrestlemania XXXIII at this point with Elimination Chamber out of the way. We still have some big TV to knock off first though and that includes one heck of a main event tonight. Bray Wyatt won the Smackdown World Title in the Elimination Chamber on Sunday but tonight he has to defend against former champion John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Long recap of Elimination Chamber kicks things off.

Here’s Bray with the title to open the show. After getting a chuckle at the YOU DESERVE IT chants, Bray says Sister Abigail told him this would never be easy. But now, after everything he’s gone through, he truly does have the whole world in his hands. Bray welcomes us to the era of Wyatt but here’s John Cena to interrupt him.

After waiting for the Roman Reigns levels of booing to cut him off, Cena congratulates Bray on becoming the new champion. John says Bray has already brainwashed the fans because they think he deserves it. Around here, you earn things instead of deserving them so now there’s a target on Bray’s shoulder. Cue AJ Styles to say that he’s already beaten Cena over and over so he wants his one on one rematch for the title right now. Bray seems willing but here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt and make it a triple threat.

Dean Ambrose storms into the building wanting to fight Baron Corbin.

American Alpha vs. Ascension

Non-title. Gable wrestles Viktor to the mat to start and everything breaks down a few seconds later. Alpha is sent outside but come back in off the top with a double clothesline (old Steiner Brothers move) to take us to a break. Back with Gable fighting out of a chinlock, only to get kneed in the face for his efforts. There’s something to be said about getting hit square in the face to cut someone off.

Chad gets an armbar over the ropes for a breather but Viktor runs around the ring to cut of the tag. Not that it matters as Gable rolls over for the real hot tag. That means it’s time for the suplexes but Chad tags himself back in, leaving Jordan to miss a charge into the corner. Something like an H Bomb gets two on Chad but Grand Amplitude wraps up Viktor for the pin at 9:59.

Rating: C+. I liked this one more than I was expecting to as they’ve actually made Ascension feel a little more like a threat with just a few good performances. I know we’ve been told for years that wins and losses don’t matter but the last week or so is proof that just one fall can go a long way. Now of course we need some fresh talent on Smackdown and it’s WAY too late for this version of Ascension to work but it’s better than nothing.

Post match the Usos pop up on screen to say they’re coming for the belts. My goodness FIND SOME NEW CHALLENGERS. It feels like they’re the only real competition Alpha has had since they debuted.

James Ellsworth is trying to get Carmella to go to dinner when Ambrose comes in. Dean says Carmella is just using him so try online dating. Carmella tells Ellsworth to stand up for her so James kind of does so, only to have Bryan come in and grant Dean a match against Ellsworth for later tonight.

Dean Ambrose vs. James Ellsworth

And never mind as Baron Corbin drags Dean out to the stage. Deep Six into the production area gives us some sparks and Ambrose is out.

We recap Nikki Bella and Natalya fighting backstage at Elimination Chamber, including Bella being knocked into Maryse.

Nikki is in Bryan’s office with the boss saying things need to end. Natalya comes in and the arguing begins again. That quickly turns into a fight so Bryan makes it a falls count anywhere match for next week.

Baron says Dean isn’t WWE Champion because of him and now Dean is in the hospital because of him. That’s everything you need to know.

Dolph Ziggler is tired of people like Apollo Crews and Kalisto trying to take his spot. If he has to wipe out an entire generation to prove his point, so be it.

Mickie James vs. Becky Lynch

Feeling out process to start with Mickie going for the arm but getting reversed so Becky can take over on the mat. Back up and a shove puts Mickie on the floor, followed by an armbar on Mickie to copy Sunday’s tactics. They head outside again and it’s a double clothesline to take us to a break.

We come back with Mickie grabbing a chinlock before scoring with a flapjack. The Bexploder gets two on Mickie and a forearm puts her on the floor. James comes up holding her shoulder (which didn’t seem to actually hit anything in the crash) but of course she’s goldbricking, setting up a spinning kick to Becky’s jaw for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: C. The goldbricking might not be the most creative thing in the world but it does play up the idea that Mickie is a veteran who can use her experience to pull off something like that. I’m not wild on them splitting wins on back to back shows but it sets up what should be an entertaining third act.

Here’s new Women’s Champion Naomi, who says she was hurt at Elimination Chamber. It doesn’t matter though because she’s coming in to Wrestlemania with this title one way or another. Cue Alexa Bliss to say Naomi is just hiding from the pressure. Naomi could even have her own 30 for 30 special called The Lights Go Out. Bliss is feeling generous though and is giving Naomi a week to get ready for the rematch.

Black History Month video on Nelson Mandela.

TJ Perkins wants us to watch 205 Live.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Wyatt is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Bray does his entrance and runs into Luke Harper who gives him a pre-match beating. We take a break before the bell and come back with Cena loading up the Shuffle on Styles until Bray pulls him outside. AJ isn’t one to be shown up though and hits a big forearm out to the floor.

Back in and a low forearm gets two on Bray but Cena comes back in for the running shoulders to the champ. The AA is countered into a failed Sister Abigail attempt though as Styles comes in with the forearm. Cena plants AJ with the AA for two, followed by Sister Abigail getting the same on Cena with AJ making the save.

Back from a break with AJ slamming Bray onto the announcers’ table and dropping a leg to put him through the wood. Cena throws AJ in for another AA but tries a third and gets reversed into the Calf Crusher. That’s reversed into the STF but Bray comes back in with the backsplash for the last second save. AJ is sent outside and another AA gets two on the champ. The Styles Clash gets the same on Cena and all three are down. Back up again and AJ is sent outside, leaving Bray to grab Sister Abigail for the pin on Cena at 14:05.

Rating: B+. They were spamming the finishers like few matches you’ll see these days but at least Wyatt won in a really solid TV match. The fact that Bray pinned Cena clean with his finisher is a great sign and exactly what should have happened here. Cena isn’t losing a thing here and Wyatt gets another big fall on his resume. Well done indeed and they even managed to make me buy some of those near falls, which I really didn’t expect coming in.

Post match here’s Randy Orton for the big staredown. The fans cheer for Orton as Bray says not to listen to it. Orton says he won’t fight Bray for the title at Wrestlemania because he pledges loyalty to Wyatt. Bray says that means Orton has the keys to the kingdom and the double pose ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Good show here for the most part as they kept me wanting to come back next week (no not for Nikki vs. Natalya 2, which isn’t even big enough to earn Roman numerals) and gave us a hot main event. This was a big step up from Sunday and you can see a mixture of upcoming TV plus Wrestlemania plans forming. I liked the show here and that’s encouraging coming off a hot Raw.

Results

American Alpha b. Ascension – Grand Amplitude to Viktor

Mickie James b. Becky Lynch – Spinning kick to the head

Bray Wyatt b. AJ Styles and John Cena – Sister Abigail to Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: September 12, 2002
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

TIME FOR A WEDDING! Er, a commitment ceremony! So this time around, WWE has decided to try and run a gay wedding for the sake of publicity, which is exactly what they got from it. Billy and Chuck are becoming “tag team partners for life” here and I’ll give you three guesses how legitimate this is. Let’s get to it.

We open with a wedding invitation because of course we do. Oh and this is the season premiere. So last week’s average show was a season finale? They need to work on this stuff.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker’s confrontation last week.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. They slug it out to start with Holly hanging in there until it’s an overhead belly to belly suplex to make things right with the world. A front facelock only seems to annoy Holly and he takes Lesnar outside to turn it into another brawl. Raw power gets Lesnar out of trouble again though as he sends Holly back first into the post and grabs another suplex. The LESNAR chants start up with the announcers mentioning his connections to the state. That’s a simple little save but very helpful to keeping Lesnar looking like a heel.

A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug but Brock charges into some boots in the corner. That earns him a completely botched powerbomb with Holly handing on his head, putting him out of action for over a year. Holly somehow gets in a dropkick and the kick to the ribs, only to eat the F5 for the pin.

Rating: D. Really dull stuff here and that’s not the most surprising thing in the world. What is surprising is seeing Holly popping up and finishing the match despite his neck being destroyed like that. I know he might not be the most popular guy in the world but he’s certainly one of the toughest, which means a lot on its own.

Undertaker and his wife arrive. Uh, didn’t that go badly for Undertaker last time?

Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. John Cena/Edge

Cena is in Minnesota Vikings colors and it’s a brawl to start with the cousins jumping the makeshift team to start. That earns Eddie a pull of the mullet before Cena spins out of a double top wristlock. Eddie and Chavo beat him down on the floor though and Chavo gets in a very hard clothesline.

Back to back gorilla press slams have Eddie in trouble so he calmly dropkicks the knee out because Cena isn’t ready to take Eddie on yet. The tag brings in Edge to clean house until Chavo crotches him against the post. Eddie runs up the corner for a hurricanrana but the half nelson faceplant is enough for the hot tag to Cena (Fan’s sign: “HOT TAG!”. Eh better than “the guy behind me can’t see”.). Everything breaks down and Edge goes shoulder first into the post. Cena is left all alone to take the brainbuster and frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. This worked like you would expect it to but I continue to be confused by Cena. He came in white hot and hit the ground running but then he was losing to D-Von and getting pinned clean in tag matches. As is so often the case, you need more than just a wrestling match to get someone over and the lack of any development is really hurting Cena.

Post match Eddie loads up a Stinkface with Chavo playing Rikishi but Edge breaks it up and puts Eddie’s face in there instead.

As expected, Eddie goes nuts on Chavo post break.

Undertaker says Sara is here because she has family in Minneapolis. Matt Hardy comes in and says he’ll have a kid one day with all his Mattributes. That earns Matt a shove into a wall, earning Undertaker the promise of a Mattitude Adjustment.

Rico can’t get the right figures on top of a cake but needs to talk to Stephanie. She can’t go because she has bad luck at weddings (ok I chuckled at that) but Rico gets close to having a meltdown and talks her into it.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Kurt thinks it’s funny that we’re in “Mini” and he’s facing Mysterio again. Angle: “You know, mini? He’s short. Oh come on that’s funny.” Angle doesn’t want to hear Chris Benoit laughing at him anymore either but jumps back to Mysterio, who is a boy in a man’s world. Kurt: “And I’m a man who loves to play with boys. Wait! I meant to say you’re a boy and I’m a man and tonight I’m going to manhandle you!” If that’s not enough comedy for you, the announcers spend Mysterio’s entrance talking about how the wedding isn’t for ratings and Bischoff used HLA to catch up with Smackdown’s quality.

Some early suplexes have Rey in trouble so he speeds things up (makes sense) with a headscissors. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and a springboard moonsault gets two. A frustrated Kurt flips Rey upside down with a release German suplex and things get more into Kurt’s pace.

We hit the bodyscissors to keep Rey down, followed by some rolling German suplexes to make things even worse. Rey fights right back with a moonsault press and a crossbody to put Angle on the floor. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Kurt has to settle for a regular hurricanrana for a close two. Rey takes a bit too long going up though and the corner running Angle Slam puts him away.

Rating: B+. For a TV match, this was absolutely great stuff. These two always have chemistry together, but to be fair that’s the case with almost anyone Angle faces. He’s the kind of guy who can have a good match against anyone and it made for an entertaining match here. Really strong match and that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

Someone from the wedding party arrives in a long black limousine.

Chris Benoit vs. Rikishi

Rikishi slugs away to start and grabs a sitout spinebuster for no cover. Instead Rikishi gets kicked low and chopped down but the Crossface can’t go on full. Rikishi fights up and tries the Rump Shaker, only to get caught in a rather impressive electric chair drop. The Swan Dive is loaded up but here’s Angle to shove Benoit off the top for the DQ.

Rating: D. So you remember how I said Angle can work well with anyone? Well that’s not the case with Rikishi, who just has no place at this level and everyone knows it. I really have no idea why he’s here, especially when there are a lot of people ready to be raised up to get a shot like this. Orton and Cena are reduced to jobbing roles but Rikishi can be pushed this hard?

Post match Angle holds Benoit in place for the Stinkface.

The wedding ceremony is being set up so Benoit spends the time getting a match with Angle at Unforgiven. Stephanie agrees as Matt comes in and gets a match with Undertaker tonight.

Here’s Rico to complain about how the ceremony isn’t what he ordered, including a very old Justice of the Peace. The singers belt out It’s Raining Men to bring Billy and Chuck to the ring (edited off the Network of course, making for a very awkward transition) and the old man dances. With the Justice’s hands shaking, Chuck talks about how he didn’t know much about Billy when they met.

Billy might have captured a lot of tag team gold but now he’s captured Chuck’s heart. Billy: “That was corny! Even for you!” Rings are exchanged and Rico is all aglow. Rico presents a video called Our Love Story with various comedic/romantic moments between the two of them which is so cheesy it almost works in a way.

We get the speak now line and here’s Godfather with the ladies. Godfather knows Billy has some pimp in him and Chuck was a great skirt chaser, especially with the heftier ladies. Rico will have none of this and dismisses the “Good Time Girls” so the ceremony can continue. Anyway, Billy says yes and Chuck does the same, albeit with some cold feet.

The Justice of the Peace almost pronounces them as married but Chuck says hang on because this was a publicity stunt that got WAY out of hand. Billy flat out says they’re not gay but they have no problem with gay people. Rico loses it but the Justice of the Peace says this is the kind of love that can go on for fifty years, sixteen months…..or three minutes.

The shaking stops and the voice changes with the old man ripping off the prosthetic makeup to reveal Eric Bischoff. I know you can tell it a lot better now with the voice but this COMPLETELY got me back in the day and was one of the best surprises I had ever seen. 3 Minute Warning comes in for the beatdown with Bischoff holding Stephanie back.

Stephanie takes a Samoan drop (BIG pop for that) and I’m sure that’s going to warrant another year of her glorious presence on TV. Edge, Cena and Mysterio come in for the save. The rest of the locker room comes out as well because WE ALL LOVE STEPHANIE and Smackdown is awesome and such.

This one deserves a few notes. First of all, we come back from a break with a listen to the Unforgiven theme song: Adrenaline by Gavin Rossdale, featuring the line “Nobody said this stuff makes any sense.” Well of course it doesn’t. It’s a wrestling angle mainly focusing on the bosses.

That’s the next important note: the recap focuses almost ENTIRELY on Bischoff and Stephanie with the whole wedding, Billy and Chuck, Rico and 3 Minute Warning and anything else being forgotten because we need a long look at how stunned Stephanie was. I know it was shocking, but there were more people there than just Stephanie.

Third, this whole “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER” stuff didn’t work for WCW and it didn’t work in the Invasion so it’s not going to work here. We just watched Edge shove Eddie’s face into a rather unpleasant area of Chavo’s body but OH NO STEPHANIE IS IN TROUBLE so they’ll band together to help save her? Get out of here with that nonsense. It’s way too much to accept and it’s all for the sake of pushing Raw vs. Smackdown which wasn’t interesting in the first place and still isn’t here.

Finally, I have to mention GLAAD (a gay rights group) completely buying into the story and actually sending a wedding present (it was a gravy boat). After it was revealed to be a ruse, GLAAD ripped WWE apart, all while people were laughing at them for somehow trusting a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ANGLE to be on the up and up. That always gave me a good chuckle and I really don’t feel a bit sorry for them looking stupid. Think this stuff through.

Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Torrie getting in a few chops to take over. The announcers talk about the wedding shenanigans and for once it’s acceptable given how big (albeit stupid) that angle was. Nidia charge into the buckle and gets caught with a neckbreaker for the fast pin.

Undertaker tells Sara this won’t take long.

Matt recruits Brock to be at ringside with him.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Lesnar and Heyman are at ringside too. Heyman immediately starts running around the ring and throws a chair in with Tazz blaming Stacker 2 (sponsor) for all the energy. Undertaker will have none of this and grabs a powerslam to plant Hardy. Heyman gets ejected and the distraction lets Hardy get in a low blow.

A quick clothesline from Brock puts Undertaker down again and that’s a second ejection. As you probably guessed, Undertaker shrugs it off and beats the heck out of Matt but Heyman shows up in Sara’s locker room. Undertaker runs off for the save (thankfully without an awkward stare at the screen) and the no contest.

Rating: D. This was an excuse to get to the ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. They didn’t exactly hide what they were going for with Sara being shown right before the match and that’s how it should have gone. I’ll even give them points for Hardy not losing, which really is kind of a surprise.

Undertaker charges to the back and chokes Heyman but takes a chair to the head from Lesnar. Brock puts his hand on Sara’s pregnant stomach to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wedding sent this one flying off a cliff and there wasn’t enough time to recover. That twenty minute segment sucked the life out of the place and that’s not good considering how big of a deal this was supposed to be. I really don’t know how much longer they can keep up this Stephanie vs. Eric stuff but knowing WWE, I’d put a low estimate at about six months minimum with the audience’s level of interest having no impact whatsoever.

The rest of the show was up and down as well but that Angle vs. Mysterio match is worth checking out. I had a good time with some of it but so much of the show was built around one really bad idea that it’s hard to give it the benefit of the doubt. Unforgiven is getting one of the worst builds to a pay per view I’ve seen in a long time and that’s not good, especially after a classic like Summerslam.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 7, 2017
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the last show before Elimination Chamber because this is that annoying period where we have all these pay per views in the span of a few weeks. The card seems to already be set in stone, making tonight about the hard sell rather than about adding much of anything new. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video on Randy Orton vs. John Cena as the rivalry is renewed again tonight.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going in the only logical move. It feels good to be home but above all else, Bryan is grateful that he’s going to be a dad very soon. Cue Miz and Maryse to cut him off though and the heat is outstanding. During the entrance, Mauro makes a rare mistake by saying Sunday will be Miz’s second time inside the Cell instead of the Chamber.

Miz is an unsympathetic as you would expect him to be and suggests Bryan to be a stay at home dad since he can’t wrestle. Bryan: “Not being able to wrestle never kept you out of a ring.” The crowd gets into a shouting contest with Miz but here’s Baron Corbin to cut them both off.

Miz pitches an alliance but Corbin thinks he could knock Miz out right now. Bryan: “Oh no Baron. Please don’t punch Miz in the face. That would be terrible.” Cue Dean Ambrose to say he doesn’t sweat any of these people because he’s going to make some bad decisions inside the Chamber. Now it’s AJ Styles to cut them off but the fans cheer for him instead of the intended reaction. Bryan makes a four way for fun.

Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. AJ Styles

Non-title. Miz heads to the floor to start and his attempt at sneaking up on Ambrose fails completely. AJ’s springboard is broken up but Corbin sends Dean into the steps to put him down again. Back in and Miz starts doing Bryan kicks to AJ and Ambrose but it turns into a battle of rollups between everyone not named Corbin. Baron and Dean clothesline each other down and we take a break.

Back with a four man Tower of Doom giving us crowd reaction shots and near falls. Deep Six gets two on Miz but AJ’s basement forearm gets the same on Baron. Miz gives AJ the running knee but it’s time for Dean to clean house with whatever he can come up with, including sending Miz into the barricade and Corbin into the post. Back in and AJ hits his moonsault into the reverse DDT on Dean with Miz diving in for the save. Now the Forearm connects on Miz, only to have Maryse make a save. End of Days gives Baron the pin on AJ at 12:57.

Rating: B. Now that works. Corbin getting the win is a surprise and it’s not like Styles is going to lose a lot of face with the loss here. Above all else though I’m glad Ambrose didn’t get pinned because we’re actually protecting a champion for a change. Good action here and that’s what matters most.

Luke Harper says Orton stole his family but he knows how to fix things. That means a beating at Elimination Chamber, though it’s not clear if that’s an official match.

Natalya and Nikki Bella come in for a satellite interview. Nikki doesn’t think they can ever be friends anymore and Natalya goes into her standard “Nikki is awful” rant. They argue over who is more bitter and Nikki’s big insult is that the only thing Natalya has ever been good at is wrestling. Natalya says that when Nikki is old and banged up, Cena isn’t going to take care of her and will move on. If Natalya wasn’t married, it would be moving on to someone like her. Nikki walks out.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is extra aggressive here as he scores with an early dropkick and sends Ziggler into the corner. Ziggler sends him into the post though and hits the running DDT, only to have his superkick countered into a rollup for the pin at 1:02.

Ziggler beats Crews down post match and hits him in the back with a chair. Kalisto runs out for the save, only to get chaired down as well.

Post break, Ziggler is put in a handicap match against Kalisto and Crews on Sunday. What kind of face/heel psychology is that supposed to be?

Here are Mickie James, Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch and Naomi for a four way contract signing. Mickie talks about having more experience than all four of them combined and tells Renee Young to get out of the ring. It seems that Becky is trying to erase Mickie from history and take the credit for the Women’s Revolution. Without Mickie James, there is no Becky Lynch so it all ends Sunday.

Mickie signs so Becky says James walked away when it got too tough. This Sunday she’s walking through Mickie with straight fire which is all she is. Now Becky signs so Alexa laughs at the idea of Becky being anything but full of orange hair dye. Alexa talks about class and signs while saying she can beat Naomi on Sunday. Naomi says she can beat Alexa and talks about Wrestlemania being in her hometown. That means she’s going to slide down the aisle (yes slide) as Smackdown Women’s Champion. The brawl breaks out and the villains run away.

American Alpha/Heath Slater/Rhyno/Breezeango vs. Vaudevillains/Ascension/Usos

Gable suplexes English down to start but a few rakes of the eyes put Chad in trouble. Aiden misses a Swanton Bomb and it’s time for Alpha to clean house. Breeze tags himself in though and Breezango cleans house, only to have the good guys get in an argument as we take a break.

Back with Slater in trouble and Viktor tagging himself in for a chinlock. The Vaudevillains and Ascension get in an argument though, allowing the hot tag to Rhyno to blow the roof off the place. Everything breaks down and Jordan launches Gable onto a pile at ringside. Back in and the Gore hits Konnor, only to have Viktor hit a middle rope knee for the pin on Rhyno at 9:46.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t any time to really make this work but it’s so cute that WWE wants us to believe Ascension could win something on Sunday. I’m not sure if Alpha retains the titles on Sunday but I’m certain that Ascension isn’t getting the belts. This was fine enough to get the point across but you knew no one was going to get to show off here.

Rock N Roll Express Hall of Fame video.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. They slug it out to start with Orton taking over and kicking Cena in the ankle. Bray watches from the corker as Cena is sent out in front of him for another right hand to the face. Back with Cena taking a full nelson slam but still being able to send Orton outside. It’s too early for the AA though and Orton drops him back first onto the announcers’ table.

Back in and Cena hits the usual, including the AA for two. An Elevated DDT out of the corner sets up the RKO for Orton’s near fall, though at least they waited a bit in between. Another RKO is shrugged off into a ref bump, allowing Wyatt to come in for the double beatdown. Cue Harper for the save and the discus lariat on Wyatt. An RKO attempt doesn’t work and the AA puts Orton down at 13:38.

Rating: C+. As tiresome as this match is, it still works better than a lot of combinations. Cena needed a win here to go into the pay per view and it’s not like Orton has a big match coming up or anything like that. This was all it needed to be and felt like the match you would have expected given the circumstances. Harper’s full face turn moment is a good idea but I’m not sure about where to take him next, especially after he loses on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. This show came and went while plugging the pay per view. If that sounds like a really basic and simple idea, you’re starting to catch on. I’m having a hard time remembering a lot of what happened on this show as it completely flew in one ear and out the other. It’s not terrible or anything but there definitely isn’t a lot of fire going into Sunday.

Results

Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose and Miz – End of Days to Styles

Apollo Crews b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

Ascension/Vaudevillains/Usos b. American Alpha/Heath Slater/Rhyno/Breezango – Knee to the chest to Rhyno

John Cena b. Randy Orton – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2002
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s hard to say what to expect here but hopefully it’s another rocking tag match with some talented people getting to show what they can do instead of jobbing to Undertaker after a former World Champion’s finisher doesn’t have much of an effect. Oh and we get the debut of Crash Holly for reasons I don’t even want to think about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week, which somehow gets to be narrated by Stephanie. Dang they’re getting right to the point this week. Anyway, Undertaker is challenging Brock Lesnar at Unforgiven.

Opening sequence.

Billy vs. Rey Mysterio

A very early Rico distraction (those sideburns are mesmerizing) lets Billy jump Rey and choke in the corner. The tilt-a-whirl powerslam plants Rey and Tazz makes gay jokes. Rey gets in his first offense with a dropkick to the knee so Billy clotheslines his head off, making sure that Mysterio has nothing of note so far. Rico cheats a bit more so the fans are all over him, making Rico the best thing about the match so far. More shots to the back keep Rey in trouble but a springboard dropkick sets up the 619 with Chuck making the save. That means Billy gets to work Rey over even more until Mysterio gets a fluke cradle for the pin.

Rating: D. So Mysterio can go move for move with Kurt Angle in a classic but can barely get in a dropkick on Billy Gunn of all people? This is almost entirely on Billy as he just wasn’t giving Rey anything to work with and it showed horribly. It’s ok to let Mysterio get in a little offense, get taken down, let the comeback go on for a bit and have the co-villains cheat so Rey can do the big comeback at the end. It’s called having a match with a story but this was all about Billy working Rey over without much effort.

Post match Rico tells Chuck it’s time….and he proposes to Billy because he wants to be tag team partners for life. Note that the word “marry”, “husband” or “I love you” are never mentioned. Billy says yes and hugging ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon is challenging after pinning Jamie in some recent tag matches. The battle of wristlockery start things off until Shannon armdrags him down. Nidia grabs a leg but Shannon dropkicks the champ to the floor anyway. Back in and a harder clothesline than you would expect from a cruiserweight match puts Shannon back down and a belly to back gets two.

Of course the fans would rather talk about Nidia’s puppies because Raw featured a match talking about Molly Holly’s hymen, meaning you can’t quite blame them at this point. That’s what WWE has deemed acceptable from its employees so don’t act surprised when no one cares about your matches as a result. Moore elbows him in the jaw and gets a near fall of his own off a neckbreaker. A Whisper in the Wind gets the same but Jamie counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb. The Tiger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: C+. Good match here but the fans didn’t care because WWE has given us no reason to care about them. Just because there’s good wrestling out there, no one is going to notice because WWE has made us care more about the women at ringside. I’m not sure what it means that Nidia is possibly treated with more respect than the women on Raw but it seems to be the case.

Paul Heyman is hyping Brock Lesnar up for his match with Randy Orton when Randy comes up and says absolutely nothing of note.

Edge and Rikishi are ready for a six man tag later and Rikishi actually tries to explain how the Stinkface is a symbol or something. Piece of the Kish still isn’t a good catchphrase.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and one of those matches that would be totally different just a few years later. Also Lesnar is now WWE Champion instead of Undisputed Champion as continuity takes another hit for the sake of pulling a title out of a briefcase. Orton charges straight at him and actually gets two off a rollup. That just means an overhead belly to belly though and Brock is already smiling.

Brock throws him over the top and hits an STO back inside. He throws Orton onto his shoulders and drives Randy back first into the buckle over and over as this is a total squash. Heyman: “HE WANTS THIS!” A dropkick to the ribs staggers Lesnar and Orton gets in the backbreaker. For reasons of general stupidity, he heads up top for the high crossbody but gets rolled through into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C-. Is there something in the water over on Monday Night Raw? You can have Brock roll through people like this on Smackdown but Raw’s big solution is to have him sell for people and need Heyman to save him all the time? Ever since he’s gone to Smackdown he’s been treated like the monster he’s supposed to be and it’s made him a hundred times more interesting.

Mark Henry congratulates Billy and Chuck.

Crash signs his contract and thanks Stephanie when D-Von comes in. The Reverend is upset about Billy and Chuck but again we never heard the word wedding or marriage. He talks about how immoral is it but OF COURSE Stephanie cuts him off for not showing her enough respect. The ceremony is next week, D-Von faces Batista later and just in case you forgot, Stephanie is the most amazing and intimidating person ever.

Tajiri vs. Mark Henry

Tajiri’s kicks and strikes have the effect you would expect them to have and it’s time for the slow beating. The handspring elbow is knocked out of the air and Tajiri’s sunset flip has no effect at all. A running dropkick to the head works a bit better but Henry shrugs it off and powerslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Henry is really strong? Like, REALLY strong? To the point that he can bend frying pans and is barely hurt by someone kicking him really hard in the head? I’m still not sure who is supposed to be impressed by Henry squashing a member of the cruiserweight division, which is often treated as a bunch of second class citizens in the first place.

Stephanie moderates a sitdown interview (in the back without much light) between Undertaker and Lesnar. After making it clear that they’re both EXCLUSIVE to Smackdown, she throws it to Brock who lists off his career accomplishments. Undertaker laughs off the idea of a young pup like Brock beating him because no one has ever taken Brock where Undertaker is taking him. Undertaker promises to beat Brock up for the first time but Heyman makes it personal by bringing up Undertaker’s wife Sara being pregnant.

If anything happens to Undertaker, he’ll take care of Sara but not the unborn child. The table it turned over and nothing happens. This was WAY too long and it really didn’t make me want to see the match any more than I already did. Granted I checked out when Stephanie started talking about how this was a Smackdown exclusive because it might be the least important detail since….oh whatever the name of whatever award/honor Stephanie has most recently won.

Reverend D-Von vs. Batista

Batista has what would be his theme song for years and the red trunks instead of the gray one he had been wearing. D-Von jumps him to start and gets in a quick chair shot, only to take a Batista Bomb for the pin in a minute and a half. The man that pinned John Cena clean last week everyone!

Nidia talks about the wedding next week (using the word for the first time) and asks Jamie if they’ll get married one day. Jamie hugs her and panics.

Matt Hardy brags about going toe to toe with Brock but Shannon isn’t all that impressed. Hardcore Holly, Matt’s opponent tonight, wants to know where the footage of Matt losing has gotten to.

Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle are ready for their six man tag tonight. Angle is annoyed at Benoit for costing him the #1 contendership so Benoit comes in and we have a staredown.

Matt Hardy vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade rollups for two to start before opting to just punch each other in the face. Tazz would rather talk about cheese jokes (Wisconsin remember.) as Holly gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backbreaker sets up a belly to back superplex, only to have Matt knock him away and get two off a moonsault press. The Side Effect gets the same but Holly gets two of his own with a powerbomb. Neither finisher can hit so Hardy grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into another one with Holly grabbing the tights for the pin.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly good match here but I’m not sure I get the point of having Matt lose over and over when he’s getting a push with the Shannon Moore stuff. Holly isn’t great but at least he’s good for a watchable match. Matt can play the heck out of these over the top characters with huge egos and that’s what we’re getting with the Mattitude stuff.

Rico doesn’t have time to talk because he has wedding plans to set up. He’s going to be Billy’s best man.

Crash vs. Hurricane

They circle each other to start until Hurricane puts him in a Tree of Woe for a good crotching. The high crossbody gets two on Crash, followed by the Eye of the Hurricane for the same. Holly misses a charge into the post and takes a super swinging neckbreaker (that’s always looked cool) to put both guys down. The chokeslam is countered into a rollup so Crash can impress Stephanie or whatever.

Rating: D+. So now we’re to the point where we’re jobbing talented guys like the Hurricane to validate Stephanie’s investments? This is a situation where it would have been better to just have Crash show up on Smackdown one night and say he changed brands off camera. There was no need to make this a story other than for the sake of more Stephanie vs. Bischoff nonsense.

Edge/Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

These are the six people from the series of matches last weeks if the reasoning isn’t clear. Rikishi and Angle gets things going and I’ll spare you the normal “why is Rikishi here” question. Thankfully it’s quickly off to Undertaker for a big boot but it’s way too early for a chokeslam. Instead Benoit comes in and kicks away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts.

Rikishi comes back in to far too strong of a pop and gives Benoit a sitout Rock Bottom before throwing him into Angle. Edge gets a slightly weaker pop as he goes after Eddie, who takes over off the strength of some double teaming. The heels keep Edge in trouble with the rapid tags and it’s Angle grabbing a chinlock.

An Edgecution gets Edge out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Rikishi gets in a belly to belly on Angle and superkicks Benoit, leaving Angle to take the Stinkface. Angle and Benoit have a quick collision so Chris puts him in the Crossface. Eddie is furious….and surrounded. The OH NO look on Eddie’s face when he realizes what’s going on is perfect and his trying to chill with Rikishi is even better. The spear sets up Eddie’s face being shoved into the thong, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. If you put Rikishi in some tights or even regular trunks, this doesn’t feel nearly as awkward. They did their thing here with the villains looking slightly more inept than they should. Benoit vs. Angle should be fun but that doesn’t make for the best tag match in the world. Edge has kind of fallen through the cracks in recent weeks and his feud with Eddie needs a boost as they barely interact directly.

Overall Rating: D+. This depends on what you find more important. The wrestling is a little better this week but the booking is atrocious, with things like Crash Holly getting a story, Billy and Chuck’s impending shenanigans, John Cena being sacrificed to D-Von of all people and Hardcore Holly beating Matt Hardy. There’s so much that can be great around here but as usual, WWE seems more interested in doing the least logical and interesting things as possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: January 31, 2017
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, David Otunga

We’re less than nine weeks away from Wrestlemania and most of the interesting things at the Royal Rumble were from the blue brand. John Cena is the new Smackdown World Champion and Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble but there’s a good chance things will change inside the Elimination Chamber in twelve days. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Royal Rumble with a variety of media quotes about the show.

AJ Styles is glaring at the video of Cena posing with the title when the bosses appear on either side of him. He wants his rematch and doesn’t want it inside the Elimination Chamber. As for tonight though, it’s time to start getting ready for the Chamber, which will feature Cena, Styles, the Miz, Baron Corbin, Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose. Speaking of Ambrose, he comes in and a main event of Styles vs. Ambrose is set for later tonight.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champion. After telling the fans to let him know what they think of him, he praises AJ Styles as an elite athlete and more than just a guy from Atlanta. That brings him to the Elimination Chamber when it’s not time to celebrate because it’s time to fight. That makes Smackdown the place to be and John Cena the man to beat so if you want some, come get some.

Cue Wyatt and Randy Orton with Bray talking about how destiny has brought them here and the title is coming to the Family no matter what. Orton promises to end the vicious cycle at Wrestlemania when the championship will be set free. The Wyatts slowly come to the ring but Luke Harper shows up for the save, which fires Cena up WAY more than you would expect. The Wyatts bail and here’s Shane to make the tag match.

John Cena/Luke Harper vs. Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton

Cena shoves Wyatt around to start and it’s quickly off to Harper vs. Orton with Luke going rather violent. Harper takes Orton to the floor for a belly to back suplex onto the announcers’ table and the fans are WAY into Luke here. Wyatt comes in and Harper immediately backs off for the tag off to Cena. JBL: “This doesn’t bode well for John Cena!” Uh, it’s not that big a deal John. Just pair off appropriately and everything is fine.

Cena gets double teamed in the corner and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the elevated DDT but getting in a clothesline to put both guys down. Bray comes in and stares Harper down to break up another hot tag attempt. Harper doesn’t mind and comes in anyway to go after Wyatt but Orton saves his buddy from Sister Abigail. That earns Randy a big boot but Harper eats Sister Abigail. The RKO ends Cena at 13:29.

Rating: C+. That’s an interesting ending as the trolling continues with the WWE actually wanting us to believe that Orton vs. Cena will take place at Wrestlemania. Wyatt vs. Harper could be interesting and I’m VERY glad they didn’t have Harper take the pin. In a way, Cena taking the pin made the most sense here as he’s easily able to bounce back no matter what. That’s not always the case with champions but Cena isn’t your normal name.

Carmella vs. Delilah Dawson

James Ellsworth introduces Carmella and JBL describes Dawson as a cross between Rey Mysterio and a Smurf (she has blue hair). Dawson actually gets in a rollup for two until Ellsworth trips her up. The Code of Silence makes Dawson tap at 1:30. Ellsworth is kind of perfect in this role and with the amount of t-shirts he sold, there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around.

Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler takes him straight down and drops the big elbow with Kalisto holding his heart. Apollo Crews is watching in the back and Kalisto gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. The superkick ends Kalisto at 2:02.

Ziggler goes for the mask but Crews chases him off.

Naomi and Becky Lynch are ready for Alexa Bliss and Mickie James.

Naomi/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Becky chases Bliss off to start and it’s off to Naomi, who misses a charge into the ropes. Alexa hits the knees into the moonsault knees but hurts herself (doesn’t seem serious), allowing the hot tag off to Mickie. The Bexploder gets two on Mickie and everything breaks down as we take a break.

Back with Alexa holding Becky in a chinlock until it’s off to Mickie for one of her own. Becky kicks Alexa away and the hot tag brings in Naomi for a springboard clothesline. The dancing kicks and a faceplant get two on Alexa as Becky and Mickie fight to the floor. An enziguri and the split legged moonsault put Alexa away at 11:03.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on the two champions taking falls here but at least this one helps set up a title match. Coming into this feud I never would have thought Naomi would have a real shot at winning the title but they’ve got me thinking it could happen, which says quite a bit. This serves its purpose well and that’s all that matters.

American Alpha wants some competition so they’re going to issue an open challenge for the titles.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: American Alpha vs. Usos

American Alpha is defending and JBL says this is going to be great, despite Alpha pinning the Usos in 34 seconds at one point. Actually hang on a second as the Ascension, the Vaudevillains, Breezango and Heath Slater/Rhyno all come out and turn it into a huge brawl. Referees come out as well and we take a break with no bell. Back with the brawl still going on and no semblance of order whatsoever. Slater and Rhyno and Alpha are the only teams left in the ring and Alpha’s music plays with no match actually announced.

We look back at Nikki Bella and Natalya getting in a fight last week.

Daniel Bryan is on the phone with Brie when Natalya and her security come in. Natalya wants to talk about her new merchandise but Nikki comes in and interrupts. Daniel has enough and makes a match between the women at Elimination Chamber.

Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Non-title with Miz on commentary. Dean snaps off some armdrags to start and headlocks AJ to the mat. We hit a Texas cloverleaf of all things before Dean shifts it over to something like the Rings of Saturn. They head outside with Styles sending him into the announcers’ table but Dean stomps him down in the corner to take over again.

Dean loads up a dive to the floor but here’s Baron Corbin for a distraction as we take a break. Back with Corbin on commentary as well as Styles gets two off a pumphandle gutbuster. Dirty Deeds is broken up by AJ’s rush of strikes (which Mauro dubs the Phenomenal Blitz) to put both guys down. AJ’s rack neckbreaker is countered and Styles is knocked out to the floor.

The suicide dive is broken up by a forearm to the head and they trade some hot near falls, including one off the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker. The rebound lariat puts AJ down but Dean doesn’t cover. The top rope elbow on the floor has Styles in even more trouble as Corbin and Miz get in a brawl. That’s not cool with Dean who baseball slides Corbin down, setting up the Styles Clash to put Dean away at 18:39.

Rating: B-. DANG this is a bad night for champions. Ambrose was a bit hotter than usual here and that made for a good match. I could have gone for a DQ or countout finish here though as you don’t need yet another champion getting beat but this is about as good as you can get given the way the booking is going. I get the idea of AJ needing a win and since the Chamber has four heels, there was nothing else that could have been done.

Miz gives Ambrose the Skull Crushing Finale but Corbin gives Miz and Dean the End of Days to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the best Smackdown but I think a lot of that is due to how fast everything goes on a major pay per view weekend. If you watched Takeover, this brought us up to over thirteen hours of wrestling in four days, which is a little more than most fans can take. On top of that they have two weeks to set up a pay per view card and that’s just hard to do in general. Not a bad show but the company could use a breather at the moment.

Results

Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton b. John Cena/Luke Harper – RKO to Cena

Carmella b. Delilah Dawson – Code of Silence

Dolph Ziggler b. Kalisto – Superkick

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Split legged moonsault to Bliss

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose – Styles Clash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: August 29, 2002
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Summerslam and Smackdown now has their own World Champion as Stephanie (cue the chorus) has signed Brock Lesnar to an exclusive deal. How exactly she can do this isn’t clear but my guess is SHE’S STEPHANIE MCMAHON AND SPOKE IN A LOUD VOICE because that renders everyone powerless. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Lesnar winning the title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie to open us up (of course) and she’s already bragging about how awesome Smackdown is because of Lesnar. Since Eric Bischoff’s #1 contenders match means nothing, we’re going to have a series of single elimination matches to crown a new #1 contender. She brings out Edge (Stephanie: “WOO! I’ll scream if I want it.”) and Eddie Guerrero but doesn’t make it clear if this is a tournament or gauntlet or something else.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Eddie fires off right hands but walks into a flapjack, followed by the half nelson facebuster. Edge charges into an elbow in the corner and Eddie starts back in on the arm. Careful Eddie: you might make him spear you with no consequences again. With nothing else working, Edge suplexes him over the top for a good looking crash, followed by a slightly less good looking dive.

Back in and Eddie grabs a superplex as Cole says the winner of this series of matches gets the title shot. Again: more details on what that means would be nice but we’re not likely to get them are we? Edge comes back with a powerbomb of all things and both guys are down. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Eddie slips out of the Edgecution and grabs a couple of chairs. Ever the schnook, the referee takes one of them out, allowing Eddie to block a spear with the other one. The frog splash puts Edge away and advances Eddie to….whatever the next step of this thing is.

Rating: B-. You know these two are going to have good matches together and this being kept shorter made for a tighter match. Edge is benefiting greatly from having matches against guys like Eddie and Benoit as he’s getting much sharper in the ring. That’s the kind of thing that is always going to benefit young wrestlers and can’t be overstated.

Matt Hardy asks Stephanie if he’s next to face Eddie but she announces Rikishi as Eddie’s next opponent. So it’s a gauntlet?

John Cena vs. Reverend D-Von

No Batista this week. D-Von throws his coat at Cena to start and hammers away before grabbing a neckbreaker for no cover. A suplex and powerslam give D-Von two and he cuts off Cena’s comeback with the spinning elbow to the jaw. The flying headbutt misses but D-Von grabs the inverted reverse DDT for the completely clean pin.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? D-Von can’t even cheat to beat someone with Cena’s potential? This was cutting Cena’s leg off and leaving him with little to do for the sake of giving D-Von a clean pin. That’s one of the more confusing booking decisions I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t get it.

Batista comes in and lays D-Von out with a Batista Bomb (which Cole calls a gutwrench powerbomb). Soooooo……that’s why Cena lost? To set up Batista vs. D-Von? Really?

Rey Mysterio vs. Rico

Mysterio starts fast and sends Rico outside, followed by a dive onto Billy and Chuck. The innocent bystanders are sent to the back for no apparent reason, leaving Rico to start firing off kicks. A sitout powerslam of all things plants Rey as Rico is getting to show off for the first time in WWE. Two Amigos into a Falcon Arrow (a type of powerbomb according to Tazz) gets two more and there’s another powerslam. Rico misses a VERY long moonsault and Rey starts his comeback with the usual. A double springboard moonsault gives Rey two and it’s the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’m one of the bigger Rico fans you’ll ever meet and this is more proof that they wasted a lot of potential with him. I watched him in OVW and was far more impressed by him than Cena as Rico just got it so much faster. He had the look, the in ring work and the work ethic but he got stuck with this horrible gimmick and that’s all he’s remembered for doing.

Hardcore Holly is turned down for a spot in the #1 contender series in favor of Stephanie answering a phone call.

Video on Chris Benoit.

Here’s the Smackdown Your Vote video from Raw.

Stephanie is trying to get someone to jump to Raw when Matt comes in to ask for a spot in the series again, eventually cutting off her call to get an answer. He gets Brock Lesnar instead. I do love the fact that the story of the show is “let’s all beg Stephanie for favors”.

Rikishi wants a rematch with Lesnar and tries to get “piece of the Kish” over as a catchphrase. Eddie comes in to laugh at him and suggests the thong is on too tight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rikishi

Rikishi starts fast but can’t get the Stinkface. Eddie goes after the knee and kicks it into the steps before kicking at it even more back inside. We hit the leglock for a bit with Eddie very slowly cranking away. Rikishi fights up, crushes Eddie in the corner, and finishes him with a superkick (with the bad leg).

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Rikishi’s odd push WAY above his level of importance continues. For the life of me I don’t get why he’s getting pushed like this but I guess they don’t have anyone else to go with here. It’s not like Matt Hardy or anyone is right there for the same spot.

Chris Benoit runs in to help with a beatdown on Rikishi but Edge makes the save.

Here’s a video mocking Major League Baseball’s strike.

Stephanie rips into Benoit for attacking Rikishi and punishes him by….giving him a match with the injured Rikishi. So she’s loud, basically a heel, and really stupid too.

Tajiri vs. Shannon Moore

Jamie Noble, Nidia and Hurricane are at ringside as well. They start fast with Shannon grabbing a quick rollup for two, earning himself a hard kick to the back. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Tajiri puts him in a reverse Tree of Woe for a baseball slide to the back of the head. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit until Moore fights up and gets two off a running neckbreaker. One heck of a German suplex gives Tajiri two and it’s time for the seconds to get in a fight. Moore grabs a rollup for the upset.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but well done at building up a challenger for Noble. The division is hardly the best in the world but they’re putting a few things together, which is better than you would expect. At least Moore is a fresh name and that’s a good sign. I mean, none of it matters as soon as Mysterio goes after the title but I like it better than just having Noble sit on the belt for months.

Rikishi vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit stomps him down in the corner to start but a Samoan drop gets Rikishi out of trouble. It seems to hurt his shoulder though and there’s the Crossface. A rope grab only sets up a second Crossface and Rikishi is done. Yeah Stephanie! You show Benoit by giving him a two and a half minute match against an injured opponent! Benoit is now going on to the final match in the series.

Kurt Angle apologizes to the other six dwarfs for beating Mysterio at Summerslam. He’s going to be Benoit’s opponent in the final match. The crowd sounds VERY interested at the idea of Angle vs. Lesnar.

Funaki wants to interview Brock Lesnar but Paul Heyman will have none of that. Matt Hardy comes up instead and says he’ll take Lesnar out. From here on, it’s WWE Mattitude.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Brock isn’t wasting time here as he takes Hardy outside and sends him back first into the post. Back in and we hit the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the overhead belly to belly suplex. Matt makes a quick comeback and posts Lesnar, followed by a dropkick to send him into the corner. That’s about it though as the Twist of Fate is countered into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C. See, now this made him look like a force. This was the kind of squash that Lesnar hasn’t had enough of in his brief run and it made him look like a monster. It’s a pin over someone with some credibility who can sell the heck out of the F5. Good match here and Matt can bounce back with a few funny promos, especially after getting beaten by someone he had no business beating.

Brock isn’t done and powerbombs the heck out of Matt.

Whoever Stephanie was talking to has signed with Smackdown. They’ll be debuting in the main event, which is now a triple threat. Did you know Stephanie was all powerful?

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

One more Stephanie cameo as she introduces Undertaker, which actually does make sense here as this is a major moment. It’s seeing her all the other time that it’s not necessary. Undertaker shrugs off some double teaming to start (duh) but misses a big boot and crotches himself on the ropes. A few kicks to the leg put Undertaker on the floor, leaving Benoit and Angle to do exactly what you would expect Benoit and Angle to do.

Kurt snaps off some German suplexes but Benoit comes right back with a few of his own. Benoit whips him into the corner and flips Angle over with a release German suplex, only to have Undertaker dive back in for the save at two. Angle is sent outside and it’s time for more chairs, one of which goes square onto Undertaker’s head. Not that it matters as he’s back on his feet about thirty seconds later so Benoit grabs a German suplex. That’s no sold as well as Undertaker gets in a chokeslam, only to have Angle make the save with the ankle lock.

Kurt gets sent to the floor so Benoit puts on the Crossface with Angle coming back in for an ankle lock at the same time. That’s not enough for a tap so Benoit and Angle trade submissions, thankfully with Undertaker actually staying down for a good while off the double submission. Benoit kicks off the ankle lock to send Kurt into a botched rollup for no count. The Angle Slam drops Undertaker again but he’s back to his feet ELEVEN SECONDS LATER for the Last Ride and pin on Benoit.

Rating: B. I criticized Edge’s non-selling against Eddie at Summerslam but this was a good bit worse. You don’t take a double submission from two former World Champions and then no sell another finisher by being up in about ten seconds. If you just have to give Undertaker the title shot (and who better to give it to than a guy who beat TEST on Sunday and then lost on Monday), there are better ways to do it. Like, have Undertaker sell some stuff.

The problem is this match was all backwards. Angle and Benoit wrestled like a pair of faces with all the effort and speed while Undertaker just snuck in and stole the pin. Undertaker did sell earlier in the match but then just turned it off and won the match like Benoit was nothing in the end. Then again, Stephanie is their boss so the whole face/heel dynamic is screwed up on Smackdown in general.

Overall Rating: C. This is a very hard to rate show as the wrestling was mostly fine but the Stephanie stuff is just excruciating. It really does feel like she’s the main character of the show and we’re just stuck sitting around waiting to see what HUGE move she makes next and how she’s trying to screw Raw over next while yelling at any wrestler, often for doing what she says. She’s really taking a lot of the fun away from what could be a great show and that’s very bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 24, 2017
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, David Otunga

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and that means we might be in for a few more announcements for the big battle royal. At the moment, twenty one names have been announced and most of them are from Monday Night Raw. A few more Smackdown names wouldn’t hurt anything and could be on the way tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with Miz complaining to Daniel Bryan that he and Maryse don’t have their own private dressing room. Miz wants to know what will be done for someone with his star power so Bryan offers to curtain off a stall in the men’s room. Bryan gives him a better offer: a rematch for the Intercontinental Title against Dean Ambrose. Miz suggests a No DQ match but Bryan thinks a lumberjack match would be better.

We get a long recap on Randy Orton joining the Wyatt Family and the team’s issues since.

Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

Bray is sitting in his rocking chair and stoically looking ahead. Orton elbows Harper in the jaw to start and they head outside for nothing in particular. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face to set up the elevated DDT. Harper’s neck seems to be a bit banged up as they head outside again with Luke kicking Orton in the face.

Bray throws both of them back inside and it’s off to a break. Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a superplex. Harper grabs his Michinoku Driver and kicks Orton in the face for two, drawing a smile from Bray. Orton gets two off a rollup so Harper tries the discus lariat, only to get caught in the RKO for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. This was much more about the angle than the match and I don’t think there was much of a surprise with Orton winning. Harper is a talented guy but he has no business going over someone on Orton’s level at this point. I wouldn’t mind if Harper went out on his own but it didn’t go all that well in the first try and he’s about the same as he was back then.

Post match Wyatt gives Harper Sister Abigail. The announcers aren’t sure if Harper is out of the Family or if it was just tough love.

Recap of last week’s cage match and Mickie James being revealed as La Luchadora.

Renee Young brings out Mickie James to explain her actions from last week. She reads off her resume but Renee says that isn’t enough. Mickie doesn’t like having to explain herself because this Divas Revolution is nonsense. The only person that sees things the right way is Alexa Bliss, who has been fighting against the Revolution since it started. Becky Lynch is nothing special and Mickie would love to fight her anytime. Cue Becky to chase Mickie into the crowd but Alexa jumps her to start the double beatdown.

Last week, Carmella took James Ellsworth on a shopping spree. James wasn’t sure about the prices but Carmella insists. First up: pants. Ellsworth starts with jeans but Carmella isn’t happy. Various other goofy outfits ensue so Carmella finally takes over with the help of Dante the fashion guy. Eventually it’s decided to make him into someone who belongs on Jersey Shore and that’s it.

Battle Royal

Heath Slater, Rhyno, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Konnor, Viktor, Mojo Rawley, Curt Hawkins

The winner is in the Rumble and Baron Corbin is on commentary. English and Gotch are out in the first five seconds and Mojo punches Hawkins out next. Slater and Viktor get rid of each other, followed by Mojo helping to get rid of Rhyno and Konnor. Mojo superkicks Fandango out and backdrops Breeze to the floor for the win at 3:15.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much but they kept it quick enough that it couldn’t cause any problems. Rawley is in a weird spot at the moment as he hasn’t done any real singles work in a long time so it’s not the worst idea to let him establish himself a little bit here. The match was so short that it’s hard to complain so I’ll spare you any issues with a three minute battle royal.

Nikki Bella was walking into the arena earlier when she explained that she and John Cena just happened to be next to her on the side of the production truck. Natalya comes up and lays Nikki out.

Here’s AJ Styles to call out John Cena. Before he gets there though, he has an issue with the Royal Rumble poster. Cena is up near the front and Styles is almost in the back of a big group shot. Now it’s Cena, who looks to have some new gear. Earlier this week, Styles turned on the Today Show and saw Cena as guest host. Cena talked about facing some guy from Atlanta and the incredibly marky host is confident Cena will win. AJ doesn’t like being referred to as just some guy and says no one has missed Cena.

John is a sorry excuse for a wrestler so Cena finally goes on a rant about how he’s been around for ten years while AJ has only been hot for six months. AJ might have been great on the indies but Cena was built for WWE and gets more done in one day than AJ does in a year. If Styles is so mad about the poster, learn how to Photoshop. AJ is just like everyone else: wanting to be Cena when he just can’t do it.

Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

The superkick ends Kalisto in 48 seconds.

Post match Ziggler grabs a chair but JBL stands up, allowing Apollo Crews to really chase Ziggler off.

Naomi vs. Natalya

No match as Nikki attacks Natalya in the back.

Naomi says she wants to fight someone so here’s Alexa….to says he won’t do it either.

Dean Ambrose says there aren’t enough lumberjacks in the world to stop him from beating Miz tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending in the Rumble. Dean threatens Dirty Deeds to send Miz outside and the lumberjacks pummel him. That’s only good for two though and we take an early break. Back with Miz sending Dean to the floor a few times, followed by the YES Kicks. Dean comes back with the top rope elbow for two and it’s time for the lumberjacks to beat on Miz even more.

Back in and Maryse grabs Dean’s leg, setting up a running knee ala Daniel Bryan (JBL says that’s how Bryan won the title at Wrestlemania because JBL isn’t as smart as he thinks) for two more. Miz is sent to the floor again and Dean dives on the big pile. The fans think this is awesome as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two, only to have everyone come in for…..absolutely nothing because ten guys coming in and attacking both wrestlers isn’t a DQ. Dirty Deeds ends Miz at 12:15.

Rating: C+. While I’m not sure this was awesome, I’m sure that the ending didn’t make a lot of sense. Like, you can’t do a no contest when ALL THE LUMBERJACKS come in at once? It’s really that important to have Ambrose pin Miz here? Anyway, the match was fine as these two have chemistry together and that’s all that matters.

Ambrose poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t Smackdown’s best work as it seems that they’re getting ready for everything besides the Rumble. Now in a way I can get that idea as there’s only so much hype you can do for a battle royal when your roster doesn’t even comprise a third of the lineup and none of your entrants have any real chance. Still though, they did the best with what they had and that’s fine enough.

Results

Randy Orton b. Luke Harper – RKO

Mojo Rawley won a battle royal last eliminating Tyler Breeze

Dolph Ziggler b. Kalisto – Superkick

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2002
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the show is finally starting to pick up some steam. The midcard is still in need of some work and thankfully that’s where Smackdown shines. Hopefully they don’t spend all night talking about Lesnar vs. Rock as Monday handled most of the remaining necessary build. A promo or two would be fine but it doesn’t need to be much more than that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to get things going. Heyman talks about Rock’s Hollywood star power but is really talking about how big of a star Hollywood Hogan used to be. Even in WWE’s wildest dreams, I don’t think Hogan was ever the #1 box office star in entertainment. Anyway, the fate Hogan suffered is the same thing waiting for Rock at Lesnar’s hands. Brock is all fired up and feels the same he did as the night he fought Hulk Hogan.

Cue Rock to say he’s tired of listening to Brock so tonight will be a night like no other. There are no catchphrases tonight because Rock is bringing it to Lesnar (good for a ROAR from the crowd). Rock is ready to fight right now but Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero jump him, meaning it’s time for the Crossface with Lesnar adding trash talk.

Back from a break and Benoit/Guerrero attack Edge as well. I smell a tag match.

Tajiri/Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore

Moore and Tajiri flip around to start as Cole actually does a good job of explaining how stacked this match is. Hurricane comes in with a high crossbody and a Shining Wizard for two on Noble. Nidia distracts Moore though and Tajiri kicks his head off, which Tazz says probably saved Moore from some disease. A chinlock keeps Moore in trouble until the hot tag brings in Hurricane to clean house. The chokeslam doesn’t work and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combo gets two on Jamie and one heck of a chokeslam plants Tajiri. Shannon sunset flips Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C+. The division is really starting to pick up and that’s the best thing that could happen for the title picture. Throw in Rey Mysterio as the title’s overlord and everything should be just fine. I’m digging these matches more and more every single week and I really wouldn’t have bet on that a few months back.

Matt Hardy comes out to pose with Moore and Hurricane, who have to put him on their shoulders for some reason.

Stephanie yells at Benoit and Guerrero for beating Rock up because that’s what Stephanie does. Benoit brings up Stephanie telling him to hurt Rock last week. Stephanie: “BACK OFF!” This turns into another Stephanie diatribe that makes NO sense because Stephanie changes positions every single week. Oh and Eddie is in trouble for attacking Edge but before Stephanie can collect some Latino balls, Edge jumps Eddie with a chair. A tag match is made for later with the two horrible employees vs. Edge/Rock.

Matt brags about his reaction and it has nothing to do with them being in North Carolina. He goes out again and gets another big pop because there’s nothing scheduled to be taking place at all right now. Matt comes out and poses but Chavo Guerrero interrupts and calls Matt a white boy. That means a match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Chavo sends him outside to start before grabbing an Octopus Hold of all things. Matt powers out and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. A double clothesline drops both guys before Chavo dives into the Side Effect for two. Matt loads up the Twist of Fate but the Kane music and pyro distract him enough so Chavo can grab a rollup for the pin. Cole: “Chavo pins Matt in his hometown area!”

Rating: D+. I’m liking the new Matt character and I’m glad they’re running with him as a heel after the whole turn on Jeff but the Kane stuff is getting annoying. Chavo is still fine in the ring but he’s not the most interesting wrestler in the world. There’s just something about him that sucks the charisma out of the room and I’m sure being Eddie’s nephew didn’t help in that area.

Matt says the explosion should have been a stoppage due to the Earl Hebner doctrine of not being able to get screwed near your own hometown. I chuckled.

Funaki goes into the women’s locker room where Nidia is getting changed and likes the attention. Molly Holly panics of course and a culture clash ensues. Nidia promises to flash the crowd if she wins the title tonight.

Rey Mysterio is ready for Summerslam when Kurt Angle cuts him off with a smirk. Kurt says Rey can sit back in his booster chair tonight and watch Angle vs. Billy Kidman (that could be really, really good) as a Summerslam preview. Oh and if Rey shows up, it’s a broken freaking ankle.

Kurt Angle vs. Billy Kidman

Angle knocks him to the apron to start but a hurricanrana sends Kurt into the corner. Why Kidman thought that was a good idea isn’t clear as Angle rolls the German suplexes, only to have Rey pop out of the stage. After teasing a chase to go after the masked man, Angle comes back in and stomps Kidman like he stole something.

An ankle scissors sends Angle outside where he gets mad at a fan for wearing a Mysterio mask. I can always go for a paranoid Angle. Kidman is smart enough to go up top for a big dive to the floor. A good looking DDT gets two more on Kurt but Kidman makes the mistake of going up for the Shooting Star, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex.

The Angle Slam doesn’t work and there goes the referee off a missed clothesline. Angle’s chair is dropkicked into his face for a close two but he grabs the Angle Slam. With the referee still down, Rey comes in with a top rope seated senton, which causes the chase into the countout to give Kidman the fluke win.

Rating: B. Kidman was so underrated in the ring as he could put on a performance like this but the best he could ever do was a midcard act. Ok so he married Torrie Wilson but does that really make up for everything else? One thing I’ve always loved about Angle is how he would fight anyone at any level on the roster. This was a great rub for Kidman who got to hang with Angle for the better part of ten minutes. That helps someone else and builds up another story without hurting Kidman at all. You don’t see that out of enough veterans.

Angle beats Kidman up post match.

Brock training video.

Rock is getting his ribs looked at when Edge comes in to talk about the tag match. The injury doesn’t matter because Rock will fight even if he doesn’t have any limbs left.

John Cena/Rikishi vs. Reverend D-Von/Batista

D-Von hammers Cena down to start as revenge for John beating him on Velocity last week. Rikishi comes in and the threat of sitting on D-Von’s chest scares the Reverend a bit. An angry tag brings in Batista for that hard clothesline as he seems to be trying to prove himself to the boss.

A Samoan drop gives Batista two but everything breaks down. D-Von breaks up a Stinkface but gets DDT’ed for his efforts. Now it’s D-Von taking the Stinkface but Batista makes a save, allowing D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT to plant Cena. For some reason Batista and D-Von get in an argument with Big Dave spinebustering him. The Rump Shaker is good for the pin.

Rating: D. The sooner they get Batista away from D-Von for good, the better it is for everyone. Batista has a lot of potential and no one cares about D-Von in this dead end gimmick. Speaking of dead ends, Cena seems to have hit one but to be fair a lot of that is probably due to teaming with Rikishi.

Nidia flashes an old, overweight guy who I don’t believe works for this company.

Women’s Title: Nidia vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending and Nidia spins out of a wristlock to start. This is little more than a backdrop for Tazz to talk about the potential flashing, making him a low rent Jerry Lawler. Nidia gets two off a backslide but Molly drops her face first onto the top turnbuckle. Molly grabs a reverse chinlock but gets small packaged for two. The handspring elbow misses though and Nidia gets two off a DDT. Molly is sat on top but kicks both rednecks away, setting up the Molly Go Round to retain.

Rating: C. Given where Nidia was at this point in her career, this was just a step beneath a miracle. She looked like a rookie but a very competent rookie, which puts her miles ahead of Jackie and Linda. It’s not a great or memorable match but Nidia looked like she was told what to do and then went out and did it, which is a good sign for her career.

Jamie tells Nidia to flash the crowd anyway but Molly dropkicks him into her. Why this stops the flashing from occurring after Molly leaves isn’t clear.

Here’s Stephanie for a chat because we’re just that lucky. She thanks the Smackdown fans and plugs Summerslam with “YOUR VERY OWN SMACKDOWN SUPERSTARS”. So….do we get in trouble for watching Raw? Could it make Stephanie yell at us for not having enough loyalty to her mission?

Video on Summerslam’s card, which really is stacked.

Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. The Rock/Edge

Edge charges into the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry as Rock sprints out to get us going. We officially start with Eddie vs. Edge with Guerrero taking over in the corner and handing it off to Benoit. The flapjack gets two on Chris but it’s right back to Eddie to keep Edge in trouble. The beating continues with Benoit getting to pick him apart with some kicks to the ribs.

A double clothesline drops Eddie and Edge and the hot tag brings in Rock. Benoit is quickly caught in the Sharpshooter but Eddie makes the save, only to eat a spinebuster. That means the People’s Elbow but Benoit is there for another save. Now it’s Rock’s turn to take a beating with Benoit and Guerrero taking turns stomping on the banged up ribs. Benoit knocks Edge off the apron and grabs the Crossface.

Rock is quickly fading as Eddie pulls the rope away, only to hold the arm up before the third drop. The rope is grabbed so Eddie loads up the frog splash with Edge making a quick save. A diving tag brings Edge in for the running clotheslines as are his customs. Everything breaks down again and Edge spears Eddie down for the pin.

Rating: B+. Sometimes you need a hot tag match to end the show and that’s what we got here. Edge is clearly on the rise and only needs a few more big wins to break through the ceiling to the main event. Matches like this where he gets to rub elbows with the Rock and pin someone like Eddie is only going to boost him there.

Post match Brock comes in and Rock asks Edge to step aside. The brawl is on and Rock punches him out to the floor with Brock jumping over the ropes with no hands. Heyman holds Brock back to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Above all else, I’m ready for Summerslam and that’s exactly the point of this show. The hot main event helped a lot and that’s all it needed to do here. Ignoring Stephanie’s WE ARE SMACKDOWN AND HEAR US ROAR nonsense, this show did a lot of things right and only had a few missteps, which is far better than what Raw does one week to the next. Summerslam needs to rock though and I have a feeling that’s going to be the case.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 17, 2017
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

I know I say this every week but it’s a stacked show again with Alexa Bliss defending the Women’s Title against Becky Lynch in a cage match to prevent interference from La Luchadora. Other than that we have the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler and Shane McMahon opening the show with a major announcement. Let’s get to it.

Quick preview of tonight’s show.

Here’s Shane to get us going with his major announcement. He gets straight to the point: in four weeks, the Smackdown World Title will be defended inside the Elimination Chamber with the winner going on to “Wrestlemania XXXIII” for the big title defense. This brings out champion AJ Styles to say that Shane is ruining Smackdown. Styles threatens to take the title back to Japan instead of fighting inside the Chamber but Shane brings up the idea that Cena will tie Ric Flair’s record at the Rumble.

Cue Cena but Styles cuts him off because Cena doesn’t get to say anything when his brother in law hands him title shots. This brings out the Miz and Maryse with Miz saying this is his time to kick 2017 off as only he can. Miz makes fun of the normal things people make fun of AJ for (Cena: “Sounds like he’s trying to get to you AJ.”) so Styles says Miz probably wrestles with a limp. AJ: “We can ask Maryse about that.” Cena: “OOOOOOH!!!!” Cena gets them riled up enough to make the match happen next.

Back from a break with Shane running into Dean Ambrose, who wants in the Chamber. They’ll talk about that later though because Dean wants a new belt which doesn’t smell like cocoa butter. Shane can’t do that but he’ll give Dean the opponent he wants tonight: Randy Orton.

AJ Styles vs. The Miz

Non-title with Cena on commentary. They actually fight over a test of strength to start until AJ does the drop down into the dropkick so he can pose at Cena. A knee to the ribs cuts AJ off but he gets in a low Phenomenal Forearm. Maryse offers a distraction though and AJ gets kicked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz escaping the Styles Clash and hitting a snap DDT for two. Styles heads to the floor and gets into it with Cena, drawing the DQ at 10:45.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted and the ending was just about the only way they could go. You can almost guarantee that all three will be inside the Chamber and that’s a good thing. I’m not sure who comes out of the next three pay per views with the title but it could make for some interesting stories.

Cena lays both of them out and holds up the title.

Here’s Nikki Bella to call out Natalya, who is in the crowd for some reason. Natalya has something for us to see and goes back through the curtain to a conveniently placed merchandise stand. Natalya rants about how Nikki and Cena’s merchandise is next to each other. Why isn’t there a Natalya shirt there when there’s a Bret Hart shirt? It’s appropriate though because Nikki and Bret are going to die old and alone. Nikki FINALLY gets back there for the pull apart brawl.

Alexa Bliss is ready for the cage match.

Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. Dean starts fast and slugs Orton down to the floor, giving us the big staredown from the middle rope. Back in and Ambrose headlocks him down, only to get draped ribs first across the top rope. The Wyatts suggest keeping it at Orton’s pace as he grabs a chinlock to keep things slow. Orton gets bored of the slow pace and sends Dean outside for a trip over the announcers’ table.

Back from a break with Ambrose fighting out of another chinlock and hitting a running forearm. Neither finisher can hit and the rebound lariat gets two for Dean. The elevated DDT is broken up so Dean can dive onto Harper but the distraction lets Orton get in the DDT. For reasons of storyline convenience, Harper gets on the apron and the distraction sets up the rollup pin on Orton at 13:42.

Rating: B. I’m looking forward to where this is going though I’m not sure who winds up turning out of all this. I can’t imagine Harper as a face no matter what but I’m not sure where that leaves Wyatt and Orton, as you would expect to see them fight at Wrestlemania. You can almost guarantee they’re both in the Chamber though and that’s a fine way to go.

Post match Orton and Harper go at it with Bray trying to break it up. Luke lunges at Orton again and Bray hits Harper in the face. Bray tells Orton to bring it on and the fans want the RKO. That goes nowhere though as Harper walks away while pointing at Orton.

Becky Lynch knows she’s never run from a fight and she knows who she is.

Here’s Jerry Lawler for the King’s Court. After saying he’s glad to be back, here’s Dolph Ziggler as his guest. Dolph doesn’t say anything as Lawler asks about the recent change in personality. Ziggler is one of Lawler’s favorites but the star is fading as much as the bleach in his hair. We see a clip of last week’s loss to Kalisto and Dolph’s subsequent attack with a chair. Ziggler still has nothing to say and starts to leave but Lawler wants to know what’s going on.

Dolph wants to know why Lawler agreed to do this and has his own footage. This clip is the series of elbow drops that might have caused Lawler’s heart attack back in September 2012. Ziggler says that was on purpose and if Lawler doesn’t stop with the questions, he’ll finish what he started. Lawler asks his last question: how does it feel to always be a loser? That earns him a superkick to the chest and JBL actually gets in the ring to check on Jerry. Ziggler turns down an offer to come back and fight Lawler.

Bray Wyatt says the entire Family is in the Royal Rumble. Next week though it’s Orton vs. Harper and no matter who wins, the Family will be stronger.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging and this is inside a steel cage. They go at it to start with both of them climbing the cage at the same time. That goes nowhere so Bliss sends her into the steel a few times, only to have Becky drop her face first onto the top turnbuckle. We take a break and come back with Lynch in trouble as Alexa stomps her against the cage.

Bliss’ charge hits the steel though and Becky gets to the top, only to have a quick charge make the save. That goes badly for the champ as well though as Becky gets in a super Bexploder for a very close two. Becky goes for the door but here’s La Luchadora to block the way. A kick to the head sets up Bliss’ DDT for the pin to retain at 9:43.

Rating: B-. Not great here but at least we had a good match in the process. The ending was pretty easy to guess but it’s still really cool to see the women main event a show like it’s no big deal anymore. In years past, this would be near the biggest moment ever in women’s wrestling but instead it’s just something that happened.

Post match the beatdown continues until Becky fights back and unmasks La Luchadora as…..Mickie James. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time with this show even if it felt a little emptier than usual. Three matches isn’t exactly a high amount but the key thing here is how important everything seems. No matter what is going on at the time, that is all that matters right then and there. It could be Nikki and Natalya arguing or something over the World Title but it’s important and treated as such. That’s SUCH a big difference over Raw and it helps to no end.

Results

AJ Styles b. The Miz via DQ when John Cena interfered

Dean Ambrose b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 15, 2002
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With ten days to go before Summerslam, the Raw half of the card is mostly filled in. That leaves a lot of Smackdown to go and that could mean some interesting things going on. Now of course the important thing tonight is Brock Lesnar vs. Rikishi because that’s the kind of match that needs to be advertised. Let’s get to it.

Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar for a chat after destroying Hulk Hogan last week. You can imagine how happy Heyman is to talk about Hogan being destroyed last week and seemingly ending his career (again). Heyman gets to narrate video of last week and it’s as entertaining as you would expect it to be (during the F5: “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside.”).

Lesnar rips up a Hogan shirt as Heyman talks about how the people’s blood will be on Lesnar’s hands at Summerslam. Brock promises to end Rock’s title reign just like he ended Hogan’s career. Rikishi comes out to interrupt and I continue to fail to see the appeal of this match. The fat man threatens to back it up and then make Brock kiss it before clearing the ring. Lesnar saves Heyman from a Stinkface.

Hurricane/Shannon Moore/Hardcore Holly vs. Billy and Chuck/Rico

Holly and Rico are having issues over Hardcore shaving off part of Rico’s sideburns. Billy and Hardcore start fast with Holly hitting that dropkick. It’s off to Shannon vs. Rico for the spinning kicks to put Moore down. A backslide to Rico sets up Hurricane’s top rope legdrop for a nice spot. Chuck comes in and gets hurricanranaed to set up a Shining Wizard for two as the cruiserweights are moving very well so far.

Those loud and heavy right hands from Chuck stagger Hurricane though as the fans tell Rico that he sucks. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and a double falling tag brings in Shannon and Chuck as things speed up again. Something like a Whisper in the Wind connects as everything breaks down. Billy gets in the One and Only on Shannon to give Chuck the pin after a quick referee distraction.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than I expected as it was quite the snappy little six man tag. Hurricane and Shannon looked good out there and Holly was just kind of there. Billy and Chuck and Rico are fine for a three man team when necessary and it’s nice to see Rico getting in the ring instead of just being on the floor.

The post match beatdown is on until Matt Hardy arrives as the newest name to jump over. No heel beatdown ensues so I guess we’re just forgetting Raw.

Stephanie, who is supposed to be a face here, does the full on heel shouting rant to Dawn Marie over the contracts from last week. Of course Stephanie was able to use her brilliance by signing Matt Hardy and buying commercial time on Raw. Dawn needs to dress more professionally or she’ll be fired. I really have no idea how I’m supposed to think Stephanie is interesting or care about her but that’s the way things work around here whether we like it or not.

Matt talks to the losers of the six man tag and says Smackdown is ready for Matt Hardy Version I. Holly doesn’t look impressed.

Chris Benoit comes in to see Stephanie and we get a great example of Stephanie’s really weird way of speaking as she keeps saying Intercontinental Title and that people will tap. Tonight it’s Benoit vs. Rock as a way to send a message to Van Dam. Again: Stephanie does not act like a face in the slightest but there’s no reason for her to be a heel either. She just changes back and forth, thereby making it really hard to figure out how to react to her. I get the idea of shades of gray but when you’re used to wrestling working one way and one person does it differently, it’s going to be difficult to understand.

Kurt Angle thinks Rey Mysterio is a twelve year old who put on a mask and cheated to beat him. Mysterio comes in (Angle: “Sorry. You must be this tall to talk to Kurt Angle. Try again next year.”) and a match is made for Summerslam. Angle: “You want me at Summerslam? La freaking cucaracha. You’re on man.” Mark Henry comes up and gets a match with Angle tonight. Kurt was HILARIOUS here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoulders him down and smiles to start so Kurt tries right hands to even less avail. They head outside for a bit with Henry missing a charge and coming up with a bad ankle. It’s a good thing Angle has the luck of Ric Flair when it comes to opponents tweaking a body part during a match. Kurt starts going after the ankle as Cole brags about having multiple Olympians on the roster. The ankle gets attacked even more and Kurt grabs a leglock. The ankle lock is broken up and Henry does a gorilla press drop because his ankle is just fine. A chop block into another ankle lock makes Henry tap.

Rating: D. Egads Henry was worthless around this point. Kurt was trying but when Henry’s selling was this bad there’s only so much he can do. I’m not sure what you can ask for out of this other than Henry not being able to do his normal stuff but that gorilla press was completely normal. He’s been around over six years at this point and there’s no excuse for something like this.

Mysterio makes the save with a hurricanrana and Angle gets busted open somewhere in there.

Eric Bischoff does a Subway commercial from the Raw set to get back at Stephanie for buying commercial time on Monday. You know, which Raw would have profited from. WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF???

Rikishi vs. Brock Lesnar

Rikishi is thrown around to start but he stands still off a shoulder. Brock starts in on the arm before grabbing a bearhug though Tazz thinks Rikishi can hang on, unlike Hogan. For the life of me I do not get this love for Rikishi, who fights out of the bearhug and gets in the Samoan drop. Heyman comes in to save Brock from the Stinkface (which the #1 contender shouldn’t need saving from) and takes one himself. The F5 wraps this up shortly thereafter.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness enough with the big guys who can’t do much other than big guy offense. Rikishi is suddenly a veteran who we’re supposed to respect despite being the same character who was a glorified comedy guy. He’s still huge and does comedy spots but now we’re supposed to be impressed that Lesnar beat him? It doesn’t work that way.

We run down the Summerslam card.

Funaki interviews Nidia, who invites him to touch her chest. Seriously. An arguing D-Von and Batista come in with the deacon sending D-Von through a door, likely ending the team for good.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Torrie does her bad looking clotheslines, which are even more impressive since very little Torrie does can be classified as bad looking. Cole actually brags about the crowd being louder than Raw’s crowd as Nidia knees her in the ribs for two. Jamie Noble gets slapped so he grabs Torrie’s ankle, earning himself a cheap shot from Kidman. Torrie gets back in and Jamie adds in a clothesline, giving Nidia the cheap pin.

Kane’s music hits and, just like Monday, nothing happens.

Eddie is on the phone with grandma, who will be sure the whole family is watching tonight. Various cousins are listed off. Eddie isn’t cool with Edge and wants to beat that bad smile off his face.

Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge

Edge and Chavo start with the Guerrero taking a flapjack (always love that move) as Cole refers to Eddie as the Raw defector. Chavo takes it to the floor and sends Edge into the barricade so Eddie can start in on the ribs. They botch what looked to be a backdrop and it’s off to Rey as things speed way up.

One heck of a powerbomb crushes Rey and Chavo adds a splash to the back for two. Mysterio gets in a spinwheel kick to Chavo’s face and for some reason the referee stops to check on both guys. It’s not like the shot was that hard. Everything breaks down and Eddie gives Edge a brainbuster, only to have Rey break up the frog splash. The 619 connects but Angle pulls Rey off the apron for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was WAY too short (but at least we had Nidia talking about how hot she was) but it helped set up Mysterio vs. Angle, which is one of the best things that can happen at the moment. You can see the talent starting to build up around the midcard and a lot of that is due to a main eventer like Angle being involved. With the younger guys getting wins over him, they seem like bigger deals as a result.

Video on the Australia tour with 56,734 people at the Melbourne show.

The Rock and Marc Lloyd discuss squealing and bending over. Lloyd actually bends over and Rock freaks out as only he can. Rock: “SWEET CREAM ON AN ICE CREAM SAMMICH GET UP!” Marc leaves and Rock is ready for Benoit tonight and is going to send Brock a message tonight.

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. During Rock’s entrance, a WATCH TRIPLE H VS. ROCK ON RAW banner goes through the crowd. Cole wants to know what it would mean if Benoit can make Rock tap twice in a row. Rock starts in on the arm and clotheslines him down as this is high energy to start.

Benoit takes him into the corner for some chops, only to get caught in the belly to belly for two. The rolling German suplexes get two on Rock and a DDT drops him again. Benoit goes up (which Cole calls rare despite him doing it in almost every match) and hits the Swan Dive for two.

Rock’s Sharpshooter (which Benoit would laugh at) sends Benoit straight to the ropes so it’s the spinebuster instead. Cue Lesnar for the staredown though, allowing Benoit to get in a cheap shot. The fans want Hogan but have to settle for a Crossface from Benoit. That means we tease the tap out finish but this time Rock makes the rope. Back up and a quick Rock Bottom ends Benoit.

Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? I really liked that tease of the tap out again as it was set up in their previous match, which made you think it could happen. Benoit losing here is fine as it’s to a bigger name so it’s not like he falls that far. Rock vs. Lesnar has been built up very well as it’s hard to imagine either of them actually losing. Good main event here.

Lesnar and Rock stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not the best show in the world here but the good stuff was quite good. The problem though is the bad stuff was really bad, making the show really unbalanced. The Stephanie stuff was HORRIBLE though as she just won’t shut up with will of the RAW IS EVIL when absolutely no one cares. It’s one of the least interesting stories I can ever remember and for some reason they’re doing it again in the modern Brand Split. Stephanie must really love that story and if that’s the case, you know it’s what we’re going to get.

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