Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2002
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the week after a big show and the top story is the return of the Rock. It’s not clear what he’s going to be doing here but odds are it’s something rather simple that is going to be considered amazing because it’s the Rock. If nothing else he needs to start the build towards Vengeance when he challenges for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s World Title match which ended in a draw.

Opening sequence.

John Cena is in the main event tag. That’s a big, big step forward in a hurry.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are challenging. Edge spinwheel kicks Chuck in the face to start but Billy snaps off a tilt-a-whirl slam to take over. As the beating ensues, it’s hard to ignore Hogan playing cheerleader. That’s one thing I always love about Hogan in tag matches: he almost never stops moving on the apron. It might be slapping the turnbuckle or pacing back and forth but he’s rarely just standing there watching. There’s a lot that can be done from that spot and it’s something not enough people do.

The double and triple teaming has Edge in trouble before we hit the chinlock to slow things down even more. Billy walks into the half nelson faceplant and it’s off to Hogan for the usual. The big boot hits Chuck’s chest/shoulder area and the one to Billy is even less accurate. Rico offers a distraction so the Fameasser can get two on Hulk. Another big boot sets up the legdrop to retain.

Rating: D+. The important thing here: the match ran 6:16 and Hogan was in the ring for about a fourth of that. Hogan wrestling less than two minutes a match but getting to do all of his signature stuff is the best thing he can do right now. Good enough match and it ends the threat of Billy and Chuck getting another shot.

Cena comes up to Undertaker (his partner tonight) to thank him for the chance tonight. Undertaker doesn’t seem to care because he’s worried about the Rock.

Torrie Wilson was doing a beach photo shoot earlier today when Molly Holly interrupted. She thinks wrestling is what matters and offers Torrie a title shot tonight. Torrie: “Ok, I’ll do it.”

The agents try to get Undertaker out of the parking lot but he’ll have none of that. A limo arrives but it’s Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle, Undertaker and Cena’s opponents tonight. Insults are exchanged and a brawl breaks out. Vince comes in for the save and some yelling.

Post break, Undertaker wants to know where Cena was. Cena says Undertaker threw him out but Undertaker yells about Cena not having his back. Undertaker thinks Cena won’t last long if he doesn’t get it together. So I guess he got it together.

Women’s Title: Torrie Wilson vs. Molly Holly

Holly is defending. Torrie gets in a slap and that’s about it for her early offense. Molly chokes on the ropes for a bit until Torrie catapults her into the corner. Some right hands in the corner have little effect as Torrie gets powerbombed out of the corner, setting up a leglock for a pin (kind of odd) to retain Molly’s title.

Rock is here.

Mark Henry/Randy Orton vs. Reverend D-Von/Batista

D-Von cheap shots Orton to start and the early beating sends Randy outside. That means it’s time for Batista to show off the power for a bit. Orton avoids a knee drop though and Henry comes in to clean house with his own power. Everything breaks down and Henry clotheslines both of them down at the same time, only to have Batista hit a Regal Roll of all things. The spinebuster ends Henry in a hurry.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here, including Orton who disappeared halfway through the match. They need to go somewhere with this idea before Orton loses what little steam he has. At least Batista and D-Von are getting somewhere with this though and that’s a big accomplishment in WWE at this point.

Hogan and Edge are going gambling. Rock comes in and Hogan takes credit for the Wrestlemania match. Rock: “You been forgetting to take your vitamins lately?” He’ll even join them at the casino after some business is taken care of. Rock mocks Hogan a bit behind his back and Edge says Mr. Nanny smoked the Scorpion King. Edge and Rock is an odd visual as their generations mostly never crossed.

Here’s Rock in the arena for the first time in a long time. Before he can get to the point though, he brings in rapper Busta Rhymes to plug an album and movie. This goes nowhere so they sing Under the Boardwalk and of course all of this is edited off the Network. After the singing ends, Rock calls out Undertaker but gets Angle instead.

Kurt thinks he’s the one Rock needs to be worried about because he can make Rock tap just like he did to Hogan. Oh and if Puff Daddy wants a shot, Kurt can make him tap too. Kurt: “I speak that jive!” After taking a bit to figure it out, Rock starts making Dr. Evil jokes. Apparently Angle isn’t a Mike Myers fan (smart man) and wants Rock next week. Rock agrees and puts Angle in the ankle lock until Undertaker comes out to clean house. This was a bit long but Rock vs. Angle should be great.

We recap the Un-Americans interrupting America the Beautiful last week.

Test vs. Rikishi

Rikishi sends him into the steps before the match as his way of standing up for America. The bell rings and Test turns him inside out with the clothesline. For some reason Storm has to hit a superkick, setting up a nearly botched pumphandle slam for two. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop for two but it’s too early for a Stinkface. Not that it matters as the Samoan drop ends Test in a hurry. Short match but they did a lot here, including having part of the new heel stable lose despite interference.

Post match the trio goes fater Rikishi until Edge and Hogan make the save.

Stacy and Vince are about to remove clothing when Jericho comes in to ask nothing in particular. Vince asks that he give up his match against Edge so we can have a Tag Team Title match at the pay per view. Jericho is offered a reward to be named later.

Jamie Noble, Nidia and Tajiri are rather disgusting at a restaurant. Noble talks about how he’s never had anything but the title means he’s not poor anymore. That’s not something I’m naturally going to boo.

We look at the NWO’s actions on Raw. Nash will be out for a long time.

Tajiri/Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane/Billy Kidman

Jamie and Billy run the ropes to start until Hurricane sneaks in with a hot tag to take the champ down. Tajiri comes in and starts snapping off the kicks for a bit until a miss allows the tag off to Kidman. Everything breaks down and some heel miscommunication sets up a Hurricane flip dive. Back in and a super sitout powerbomb ends Noble, likely giving Kidman a future title shot.

Rating: B-. They didn’t stop moving in the time they had but they only had a little over three minutes. Kidman as the next challenger is fine, especially when you consider the winner is just holding the title until Rey Mysterio gets here. Fun match though as the wrestling actually worked for once tonight.

Rock isn’t sure how Coach shrunk and turned to become Marc Lloyd. He went gambling today and the big Vengeance slot machine came up with three Brahma Bulls. Rock will be waiting here to see the end of the show, which sounds like a threat.

Rey Mysterio is coming in two weeks.

John Cena/Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Undertaker and Jericho get things going with Chris actually winning the early fist fight. Cena comes in and gets beaten down, only to have Angle go shoulder first into the post. The rookie doesn’t know how to follow up though and Angle snaps him over with a belly to belly.

Some Canadian stomping keeps Cena in trouble until he powerslams Angle for a breather. Undertaker comes in as everything breaks down, including a ref bump. The Angle Slam gets a delayed two on Undertaker and it’s back to Cena. Undertaker saves his new little buddy from the Lionsault and an Oklahoma roll puts Jericho away.

Rating: C+. Cena getting the pin here is important but not as important as him being treated as someone on this level. He might have gotten beaten up a little bit but he hung in there well enough and wasn’t destroyed. You can pencil in Jericho vs. Cena for Vengeance and that should be another good night for Cena.

The brawl continues post match with Undertaker putting Angle in a dragon sleeper. Cue Rock to lay out both guys with Rock Bottoms to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Even with the star power and rookies being pushed, Smackdown continues to be the most middle of the road show ever. The wrestling and storytelling are fine but there’s still very little to actually get excited about. The show certainly isn’t bad but it’s not the most exciting. Changing a few things up can make this a great show though and it’s much better than the horrible Raw shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 6, 2016
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s a big night here as we’re past Tables Ladders and Chairs and getting ready for Royal Rumble. Before we get there though, two titles are on the line tonight with AJ Styles (on a bad ankle) defending the World Title against James Ellsworth and new Tag Team Champions the Wyatt Family defending against former champion Heath Slater/Rhyno. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of Sunday’s show where Ellsworth turned on Ambrose to cost him the title. Ellsworth’s explanation: he’s beaten Styles three times so why would he want to fight anyone else? Makes sense actually.

Here’s AJ in a walking boot and street clothes to open the show. Styles talks about the tragedy of Sunday but is talking about his torn tights. Apparently AJ isn’t cleared to wrestle tonight but here’s Ellsworth to start the match now. That isn’t happening though and Ellsworth thinks Daniel Bryan is protecting him. After all, Ellsworth has his number and can beat him a fourth time. AJ laughs off the idea that Ellsworth helped him get the title and says Ambrose handed Ellsworth every win. Cue Ambrose to give Ellsworth Dirty Deeds and immediately leave. Again, makes sense for him.

Tag Team Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Slater and Rhyno are challenging. Heath forearms Orton down to start and Bray does even worse by charging into a boot to the face. Rhyno comes in but it’s WAY too early for a Gore as we take a break instead. Back with Rhyno in trouble as the champs take turns working him over. A shoulder lets Slater come in and Orton gets neckbreakered for two. It doesn’t last long though as Bray runs Slater over. Sister Abigail is loaded up but Bray tags Orton instead so the RKO can retain at 9:15.

Rating: D+. This is all it needed to be and should get rid of Rhyno/Slater as challengers. I’m perfectly fine with their reign ending in such dominant fashion as they were playing so far above their heads that anything they did was a bonus at this point. I could go for JBL shutting up about how the Wyatts are Brody and Hansen after like three matches but I’ll take what I can get.

Kalisto says speed kills.

Natalya vs. Carmella

Before the match Carmella insults Natalya’s weight and says she’s just jealous of everyone else’s looks. No match at the moment as Natalya tackles Carmella and chases her to the back.

Natalya goes after Carmella but runs into Nikki Bella instead. Nikki is all serious as Natalya apologizes before walking away. I know they want Nikki to be the big hero of the division but I’m really not buying it.

Baron Corbin compares cruiserweights to flies.

Hype Bros vs. Ascension

Both teams want the titles. Viktor knees Ryder in the head to start and Zack is in early trouble. Ascension takes turns with a variety of stomps to the back until a neckbreaker puts Konnor down. The hot tag brings in Mojo to clean house and the Hype Ryder puts Viktor away at 3:30.

Rating: D+. I’m assuming the Hype Bros are the next challengers and that’s a fine way to help put the Wyatts over as champions. There’s no reason to go straight for American Alpha or the Usos so just feed them the Hype Bros, who don’t exactly have much to lose at this point. Putting them over Ascension is as simple of a first step as you can get so they’re starting fine.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz asking for his “YOU DESERVE IT” chants. Anyway the guest this week is Ambrose, who should be livid at Ellsworth. Instead he’s pretty calm, even after he got Ellsworth everything he has. Miz accuses Dean of manipulating Ellsworth for his own benefit and then hides behind Maryse. Sunday was so bad for Dean that Miz has a present for him: the first ever Miz Participation Award. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” Violence is teased but here’s Bryan to interrupt and make the obvious main event. That earns a YES chant so Bryan makes it a title match.

Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin

Chairs not included. Corbin throws him outside to start and gets a near fall. Kalisto kicks him in the head and scores with a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Kalisto speeds things up but the springboard spinning tornado DDT is countered into End of Days for the pin at 2:49.

Nikki meets singer Sophia Grace and they get along.

Chad Gable vs. Tyler Breeze

This is due to Gable ripping up a fashion police ticket earlier today. A monkey flip sends Breeze flying early on but a trip to the floor lets Breeze take over. Tyler’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Gable takes him down with an exploder suplex. Jordan suplexes Fandango on the floor, leaving Gable to hit a Rolling Chaos Theory of all things (rolling German suplex) for the pin at 2:32.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for her championship celebration, complete with a long pyro display. The fans don’t seem happy and want Becky so Bliss laughs about taking the title from her. Cue Becky to say how hard it is to hold onto the title because she wants her rematch right now. Bliss takes off the jacket but bails to the floor like you might expect.

Opening segment recap.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is challenging and Maryse has changed her outfit. It’s a headlock to start (safe way to go) and Dean throws him outside, only to have Maryse block a suicide dive. Back from an early break with Miz having to escape Dirty Deeds. The second attempt goes just as badly as Miz takes him into the corner and starts in on the knee. A shinbreaker sets up a double knee stomp as things slow down.

The Figure Four is broken up and Dean sends him outside for another suicide dive. That leg certainly healed fast. Miz gets two off a DDT and it’s time for the YES Kicks. They head up top with Maryse crotching Dean, allowing Miz to hit Bryan’s running knee for a close two. Cue James Ellsworth to point out the crotching but it makes the referee miss Dean rolling Miz up for two. The Skull Crushing Finale finishes Ambrose at 13:31.

Rating: B-. Uh…..ok then. I guess they’re already backtracking on what seemed to be a pretty clear heel turn. It might not have been a full on version due to it mainly being about Ellsworth’s title shot but this feels like they’re stretching the story out longer than it needs to go. The match was good stuff until the ending, which is more eye roll inducing than bad.

Ellsworth is upset to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was little more than a filler episode but the key difference is Smackdown always seems to be trying, even in episodes that don’t mean much. They have a few shows to burn before it’s really time to get started on the Royal Rumble build so this was a fine way to spend two hours. Totally watchable show but nothing you need to see.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – RKO to Slater

Hype Bros b. Ascension – Hype Ryder to Viktor

Baron Corbin b. Kalisto – End of Days

Chad Gable b. Tyler Breeze – Rolling Chaos Theory

Miz b. Dean Ambrose – Skull Crushing Finale

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2002
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ve got a huge holiday show here with Kurt Angle challenging the Undertaker for the World Title a few days after Undertaker defended against Jeff Hardy in a ladder match. Other than that Smackdown has become the breeding ground for the new generation so it should be interesting to see where John Cena, Randy Orton and Batista go from here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Chris Jericho injuring Edge a few weeks back and hurting the shoulder even worse. Then a few weeks later Edge came back and saved Hulk Hogan from the same fate so now we have a new Can-Am Connection.

Opening sequence.

Based on that one interaction, Hogan and Edge get a Tag Team Title shot. Somehow I’m not annoyed by this development.

Lillian Garcia (looking absolutely stunning) does her usual amazing rendition of America the Beautiful….until Lance Storm, Christian and Test interrupt to some awesome heel heat. Christian thinks the fans don’t even know why they’re celebrating other than Will Smith defeating a bunch of aliens. Storm brings up Americans going to war over the years and says America lost in Vietnam. All three together: “AMERICA SUCKS!”

Rikishi vs. Lance Storm

Storm gets sent outside to start and Rikishi knocks him out of the air upon reentry. Rikishi sits on the chest but has to deal with Test and Christian, meaning the Banzai Drop doesn’t work. Test boots him in the head and Storm gets the cheap pin. Nothing to see here but the Canadians interrupting the song was great.

We recap John Cena’s debut. He really did come off as a star upon debut and people noticed. The fact that he gave Angle a run for his money was important too as he wasn’t fighting some joke in a squash that didn’t mean anything. It’s a great debut and really one of the best in a good while.

Stacy Keibler brings Cena to see Vince and, as she does with everyone, likes what she sees in the rookie.

Reverend D-Von/Batista vs. Randy Orton/Big Valbowski

Venis hammers on the monster to start until Batista blasts him with the kind of clothesline you expect to see from someone like Batista. D-Von comes in and runs into a raised boot, allowing the tag off to Orton. Randy is quickly neckbreakered so it’s back to Val for the Blue Thunder Bomb. Everything breaks down and Batista goes shoulder first into the post. It doesn’t really matter though as a spinebuster plants Orton for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and that’s the kind of thing Smackdown needs a lot more of. The story of Orton needing the right partner to take these two down is a good enough idea and gives us a reason to care about Orton while being impressed by Batista. They’re developing these guys and that’s the best thing that can be done at the moment.

Jericho is ranting to Vince about Edge so the match is made for Vengeance. Cena comes in and Vince actually praises him for last week. Jericho isn’t impressed and asks where the ruthless aggression is. Cena slaps the taste out of his mouth (sounded great) and leaves. Again: Cena is coming off like a star and has the backbone to make it stick.

During the break, Vince made Cena vs. Jericho for tonight.

Angle blames a nasty case of the flu for his performance against Cena last week but he’s ready for the Undertaker. We see an Angle narrated video about how hot he’s been lately, including making Hogan tap. Angle talks about how awesome he is and actually quotes Kid Rock to say he’s ready.

Billy and Chuck are a bit sore (too much walking you see) but they split hot dogs. Rico comes in and yells at them for not taking their title defense seriously.

Clip of Rock from earlier this year making fun of a cameraman who said he was going to win the Royal Rumble. Rock is back next week.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy and Chuck

Edge and Hogan are challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. Hogan, with the red, white and blue boa, gets an extended entrance and Edge holds the American flag. Hogan shoves Chuck around to start and punches him in the face for daring to mock the poses. Billy comes in to face Hogan for a weird generational clash.

It’s off to Edge who gets beaten down in the corner (always stick with American) with Chuck slowly slamming him down. The fans want Hogan (duh) but settle for Rico kicking Billy by mistake. It’s not that bad though as Billy is back up with a bulldog to send Edge into the steps for two.

Back in and that half nelson faceplant gets Edge out of trouble and there’s the hot tag to Hogan. Chuck superkicks Hulk down to break up the legdrop but Edge comes off the top with a double clothesline to drop the champs. Billy gets speared and it’s a double boot followed by a double legdrop to Chuck for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. I really can’t get mad at this as it’s not like Billy and Chuck are some unstoppable team. They had just won the titles back from the dynamic duo of Rikishi and Rico a few weeks back so this is hardly some tragedy. Hogan is going to be much better suited giving someone like Edge a rub than being in the main event. Leaving him in the ring for all of two minutes is a good way to run a tag match and this perfectly acceptable.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho goes right after him at the bell and ties up the slap score early on. The Walls are broken up with a catapult into the corner, followed by a spinebuster to send Jericho outside. Back in and Jericho gets dropkicked out of the corner as we hear about Cena’s pre-WWE athletic career for the first time. The Walls are countered again, this time with a small package for two. Cena rolls away from the Lionsault and gets two more off a rollup, only to have the Flashback (sleeper drop) give Jericho the pin. The feet on the ropes helped too.

Rating: B-. Not quite as hot as last week’s match against Angle but it’s very clear that Cena is a star in the making. He’s got that fire in his eyes and there’s no way to fake something like that. Good match here again as Cena continues to look like a better prospect than Lesnar at this point, at least once the bell rings.

You know Rey Mysterio? He’ll be here soon.

Rock once shoved Vince’s face in Rikishi’s thong.

We look at Shawn Michaels announcing HHH will be joining the NWO.

We go back to Divas Undressed which resulted in a catfight because that’s how women act in WWE.

GET THE F OUT!

Earlier today in the trailer park, Jamie Noble showed Nidia their new trailer. Redneck humor really isn’t my thing, but Nidia is no Rhyno eating cheese and crackers.

Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler

Bra and panties. This has all the old standards: cartwheels, rollups, the referee getting rolled over, Torrie wins in a clean sweep. There’s just nothing to say about these things and there’s no secret to what they’re doing.

Torrie strips to reveal stars and stripes underwear.

Video on Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy including Undertaker teasing a face turn after the match.

Undertaker is ready to fight anyone.

HHH has a DVD.

WWE Undisputed Title: Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending of course and Angle is shoved into the corner to start. Angle’s headlock doesn’t get him very far as another shove has him in trouble. Back in and Undertaker starts picking up the pace (I’m shocked too) with a clothesline, followed by Snake Eyes into the big boot.

The first German suplex breaks the champ’s momentum though and it’s time to trade big shots in the corner. A DDT gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into the ankle lock. In a rare good job by commentary, Cole brings up Angle recently doing the seemingly impossible by making Hogan tap so the hold doesn’t feel like a waste of time.

The hold stays on for a good while until Undertaker flips him away and grabs a chokeslam for two. Back up and Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but gets pulled down into a triangle choke. Undertaker stacks him up for a cover and taps at the same time the referee counts three for an infamous (and stolen from the UFC) finish, meaning it’s a draw.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match though the ending is still solid. This actually felt interesting as Angle had been one of the best in the company for a long time now so putting him back into the title picture had to be done, if nothing else for some fresh blood. The rest of the match was good enough but the ending brings it up a lot.

Controversy reigns (with the fans being VERY unhappy) and the match is ruled a draw, meaning Undertaker is still champion. Angle attacks Undertaker to end the show with Tazz of all people summing it up perfectly: the Undisputed Title is in dispute.

Overall Rating: C+. You can see pieces moving around here and above all else, it seems like there’s an idea behind a lot of what’s going on here. The young talent is getting pushed and there’s something new in the main event scene. In other words, there’s some hope around here, which is the kind of thing that WWE had needed for so long.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2016
Location: Colonial Life Arena, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Tables, Ladders and Chairs 2016 and Smackdown has managed to put together a pretty decent build in such a small time frame. Tonight we’ve got Dean Ambrose hosting the Ambrose Asylum with James Ellsworth as his guest, meaning AJ Styles is bound to get involved. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There are tables, ladders and chairs all over the arena.

Renee Young is in the ring for a contract signing for the Women’s Title match. Alexa Bliss and Becky Lynch come out with Alexa telling Renee to get out of here because they need someone with better fashion sense. They recap the feud with Becky saying Bliss has the mentality of a four year old. The champ signs but Alexa keeps talking about Becky’s accent and how this isn’t the Disney Channel where you get further by being nice. Becky rips into her for not accomplishing anything in her time here other than having a loser mentality. Alexa signs as well and the fight is on with Becky actually being knocked through the table.

Dolph Ziggler/Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin/The Miz

Corbin knocks Ziggler down to start and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Corbin whipping Dolph hard into the corner and doing that slide underneath the bottom rope to keep Dolph in trouble. It’s off to Miz, who pulls out a ladder to lean up against the steps. Ziggler gets in the running DDT on the floor, followed by a superkick to Miz.

The hot tag brings in Kalisto for his usual, including the hurricanrana driver for two on Miz. A big suicide dive sends Miz into the announcers’ table. Everyone is staggered and Maryse shoves the ladder onto Ziggler. Back in and the Salida Del Sol looks to finish, only to have Corbin use a chair for the DQ at 7:31.

Rating: B-. For a match this short, they packed in a lot of action into the time. Kalisto could be an interesting guy if they would stop cutting his legs out from underneath him. The same is true with Corbin, who certainly has the look but I’m not sure if he has enough in ring skills yet to hang at this level.

American Alpha isn’t scared of the Wyatts and are ready to levitate the Wyatts with suplexes.

The Wyatts are ready for American Alpha and don’t like their positivity. Orton gives Luke Harper a pep talk for his match with Kane but Harper doesn’t seem to trust Randy.

Carmella comes out for her match but first of all she has a message for John Cena. She promises to hit Nikki with a chair so hard that the real Bella Twins pop out of her back. Nikki charges to the ring and the brawl is on, meaning no match. Carmella is easily cleaned out.

We recap last week’s ladder match with Ellsworth earning his contract and a shot at Styles’ World Title.

It’s time for the Ambrose Asylum, complete with a single piece of carpet in the middle of the ring. Ambrose gets right to it by bringing out Ellsworth as the first guest. Dean asks how old James’ boots are before letting James celebrate his win a little bit. Ellsworth offers to do anything Dean needs so Ambrose gives him money to pick up a six pack after the show. As far as James’ future, he’d rather face AJ for the title after beating him three times in a row. Ambrose: “He’s drunk with power ladies and gentlemen.”

Cue AJ to stand on the announcers’ table and make puppet jokes about Ellsworth. Dean: “So what you’re saying is you lost to a dummy three times?” AJ gets in the ring and promises to get rid of Dean before dealing with the new superstar, as long as James shows up on Sunday. The brawl is on with AJ shoving both guys through the furniture. Ellsworth is hung upside down for a chair shot to the back, followed by a Styles Clash onto the steps. That should get rid of him for awhile but odds are he’ll be at the pay per view.

Post break, Ellsworth is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane vs. Luke Harper

Harper’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere as Kane comes back with his own power offense. A big boot and clothesline puts Harper on the floor and we take a break. Back with Harper kicking him in the knee and head, only to get caught with the running DDT. Harper hammers away in the corner but gets powerbombed out for two more. The swinging Boss Man Slam gives Luke two of his own and a superkick drops Kane again. Back up and Harper misses the discus lariat, setting up the chokeslam to give Kane the pin at 11:05.

Rating: B-. What is with the good matches on here tonight? These two beat the heck out of each other in the only kind of match they should have had. Kane has taken a backseat since the Draft but he’s still fine for something like this. You can tell they’re doing something with Harper so maybe he’ll wind up getting a push out of the thing.

We recap the contract signing.

Becky has a sore back but doesn’t care what kind of match she has with Alexa. Again, and I can’t emphasize this enough: they’ve taken a simple idea and ran with the thing, which can often make for something very entertaining.

Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton vs. American Alpha

The winners get the title shot on Sunday. Orton and Jordan get things going with Jason snapping off some armdrags and working an armbar. It’s off to Wyatt who throws Jordan throat first into the ropes to take over. The beatdown begins with Orton draping him over the top rope and grabbing a chinlock.

Jordan fights up and makes the tag off to Gable, who cleans house for a bit until being sent hard to the floor as we take a break. Back with Gable getting DDT’ed onto the apron for two as the beating continues. Bray hits the release Rock Bottom and Orton’s awesome looking superplex has both guys down.

Unfortunately it’s actually enough for the hot tag to Jordan as everything breaks down. The suplexes begin on Bray but the lights go out, revealing Harper at ringside. Gable breaks up Sister Abigail but an RKO breaks up the Grand Amplitude. Jordan’s spear hits the post and Sister Abigail sends the Wyatts to the title match at 15:29.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with the right team going over. Bray almost has to win a title soon and they even protected Alpha in the loss. There’s something so cool about watching Jordan fighting for all he’s worth as he does the big comeback as well as almost anyone in the company right now. This was better than I was expecting and I had a good time with it.

Slater and Rhyno are ready for the challenge when Styles comes up to say no one cares about the Tag Team Titles. Ambrose runs in and beats AJ up to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Now THIS is how you go into a pay per view. Smackdown had a battle plan tonight and executed it to near perfection. I’m pretty sure every match on Sunday got some focus here and the wrestling was even good on top of that. You really can tell that there’s a lot of effort put into the planning of these shows and they know exactly what they want to do on almost any given week. This was one of the better go home shows I’ve seen in a very long time and it was everything they needed to do and more.

Results

Dolph Ziggler/Kalisto b. The Miz/Baron Corbin via DQ when Corbin used a chair

Kane b. Luke Harper – Chokeslam

Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt b. American Alpha – Sister Abigail to Jordan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and it’s the Smackdown version of the Eddie Guerrero Tribute Show. On top of that, it was also taped the same night as the Raw version (double taping on a Sunday due to the European trip) which was the day Eddie passed away. I’ve grown to respect Eddie a bit more over the years so it should be interesting to see how this goes. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Smackdown World Champion Batista in a low rider to Eddie’s music for a perfect opening. Batista immediately starts crying and says he’s not sure he’s the right man to be out here. All he knows is that Eddie loved his family and loved this business. He had a lot of demons to deal with but the pain went away when he walked through that curtain. Batista has to pause a bit to fight back the tears and you can feel the real emotion here. Eddie is with God now and Batista isn’t going to let anyone ever forget him.

Eddie video set to 3 Doors Down’s Here Without You. They’re my favorite band so this is about as perfect as it’s going to get. Above all else though: that frog splash was a thing of beauty.

Clip from the Eddie documentary focusing on his childhood and family. It’s kind of weird to hear Eddie talking about his brothers and sister.

The low rider, with Batista’s title on the hood, will be in the aisle all night.

Matt Hardy vs. Carlito

This is interpromotional as Carlito is from Raw. As you’re probably going to guess, these matches aren’t going to mean a thing. Matt is freshly on Smackdown after losing the feud with Edge on Raw. It’s so strange to see Matt looking absolutely svelte. He’s probably 30 pounds lighter than he is today and looks great. Matt grabs the afro to start but gets sent outside to give Carlito control.

The announcers aren’t even bothering with the match as they’re just telling Eddie stories for a nice touch. Carlito loads up the middle rope legdrop but dives into a raised boot (still hate that spot). The Side Effect gives Matt two but Carlito grabs the Backstabber for the same. Matt comes right back with the real middle rope legdrop and the Twist of Fate is good for the win.

Rating: C. This is a good indication of how this night is going and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no need to try and make this show mean anything storyline wise so just go out there, have decent matches, and give the fans something to smile about. Good little match here too.

Vince gives a tribute to Eddie, who was a true craftsman. He actually tears up talking about how much Eddie loved his family, both blood and co-workers.

Another documentary clip talking about Eddie meeting Vickie then marrying, losing and getting her back.

Road Warrior Animal/Heidenreich vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

I still have issues calling Animal and Heidenreich the LOD. This is another interpromotional match, which is probably going to be a trend all night. Cade and Heidenreich start things off with the cowboy being taken down off a hard clothesline. The announcers get in a debate over which Tag Team Titles belong on which show (which is why I just go with the show’s name and ignore the official names) as a cheap shot puts Heidenreich in trouble. That goes nowhere as he spears the villains down and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and the Doomsday Device ends Cade.

Rating: D+. I’m going a bit lighter on the matches tonight as there’s no reason to go crazy with the ratings, especially when the wrestlers probably aren’t all there mentally. This version of the LOD never worked as Heidenreich didn’t feel like Hawk at all. It didn’t help that the tag divisions were such a mess at this point and even interpromotional stuff wasn’t interesting.

Booker T. and Sharmell miss Eddie with Booker telling a story about getting in a fist fight with Eddie back in WCW.

Documentary stuff on the Lie, Cheat and Steal vignettes. These were some of the first things that really made me appreciate Eddie as a character instead of just a performer. This transitions into a look at all the cheating over the years, which really was hilarious at times.

A sweaty Big Show is glad Eddie isn’t in pain anymore.

Eddie talks about playing other sports but giving them up because he only cared about wrestling. We also hear about his childhood growing up around wrestling because his dad was a promoter.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Chavo still has blonde hair from the Kerwin White gimmick, which was completely done after Eddie passed away. JBL has image consultant Jillian Hall with him. Some forearms in the corner have Chavo in early trouble so he snaps off a headlock takeover. We hit the cheating, including a thumb to the eye to send JBL outside. That’s quite the selling for a basic move.

Back in and the crossbody is caught in a fall away slam to put JBL in control like he should be. The heavy right hands in the corner are accompanied by stories of sewage and burritos. We hit the sleeper, which looks really weird from someone so big on someone so much smaller. Or maybe it’s just that JBL isn’t good at using that move.

Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a DDT to break up another fall away slam. It’s time for a few chairs and of course Chavo throws one to JBL and falls down just like Eddie did so many times. Ok I smiled at that one. The distraction lets Chavo get in a low blow, followed by Three Amigos and a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. The result here means nothing at all as this was all about paying tribute to Eddie. Chavo winning was the only possible option here as he was basically Eddie’s little brother and could wrestle the same style so well. It’s not a good match (fine enough though) but it was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Video of Eddie’s mom talking about his childhood.

The announcers talk about Eddie a bit.

Video on Eddie at Wrestlemania XX. That was the rather awesome match against Kurt Angle where Eddie took his boot off, which they played up in the Summerslam rematch. This leads to the ending of the show which is really hard to watch now.

JBL was Eddie’s arch nemesis but he was lucky enough to be his friend.

Video on Eddie winning the World Title from Brock Lesnar at No Way Out 2004.

Cruiserweight Battle Royal

Tajiri, Gregory Helms, Paul London, Kid Kash, Brian Kendrick, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Funaki, Psychosis, Super Crazy, Juventud

Nothing on the line as Juventud is already Cruiserweight Champion. Everybody gangs up on Helms and Tajiri (the Raw guys) but don’t bother to actually eliminate either of them. Kendrick gets kicked out for the first elimination and Super Crazy goes out as well. Tajiri and Funaki follow them, leaving London to do a bunch of springboard kicks to the back. Helms and Nunzio take a double Worm.

Scotty dumps Kash and London does the same to Helms to get us down to five. Make that three as Nunzio gets rid of Scotty, leaving us with Nunzio, Juventud and London. Nunzio’s attempts at alliances don’t work and the Italian is sent out. Both guys wind up on the apron for a kicking battle until they both crawl back inside. Juventud dropkicks London out for the win.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse battle royals but few that were more pointless. The champ is entered into a match and then wins the thing? The division wasn’t the most interesting in the world at this point and other than having some cruiserweight stuff involved on the show, I have no idea what this has to do with Eddie.

Video on Eddie and Chyna, which was pretty awesome stuff. His kids try to figure out what Latino Heat means.

We look at Eddie’s last match, a DQ win over Mr. Anderson.

Shane McMahon talks about how cool it is to have major families like the Guerreros (and the Jarretts). He talks about what Eddie meant and breaks down in tears.

Video of the end of Wrestlemania XX with JR’s voice giving out.

Chris Benoit vs. HHH

HHH is a heel here but plays to the crowd during the entrances. Given the circumstances, that’s totally fine. An early Crossface attempt sends HHH to the ropes and we take a breather. Back in and Crossface attempt the sequel gives us the same plot (but likely fewer laughs). This time Benoit follows him out and sends HHH head first into the steps, only to get sent crashing outside as well.

Back from a break with HHH hitting some forearms to the back and getting two off a spinebuster. We hit the abdominal stretch but the powers of an EDDIE chant…..don’t really do much as HHH throws Benoit down. Your standard sleeper reversal sequence is followed by an exchange of failed finishers. That means it’s time for the rolling Germans on HHH and a Swan Dive for two. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface, which Benoit lets go in favor of a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. Even the announcers said this was just about having a good match and that’s what we got here. When HHH gets rid of the whole “I’m amazing and one of the best ever” stuff, he can put on some outstanding performances because he really is that talented. I liked this match for different reasons than I usually would have but it was still good stuff.

Benoit chants Eddie’s name and Dean Malenko comes out for the big hug ala Wrestlemania XX to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: A. This is a weird one to grade as the wrestling was actually good but it had nothing to do with the show’s quality. This was about celebrating Eddie’s life and nothing else. I had a lot of fun watching it and actually started missing Eddie as the show went on. I’ve never been the biggest Eddie fan but things like this, where you look back at his career and life, really show how special he truly was. I may not be a huge fan but I certainly respect him, which is probably more important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the big city tonight and it’s time for a new challenger to face Undertaker. I know Jeff Hardy is getting a title shot on Raw next week but it’s fairly clear that we’re getting some combination of Rock/HHH/Undertaker for the title at Vengeance. Why Smackdown is getting back to back pay per view title shots isn’t immediately clear. Let’s get to it.

Vince is in the ring and brings out Kurt Angle before leaving. Thanks for showing up boss. At least it was short though. Angle says he might as well be the poster boy for ruthless aggression and goes into his big victory speech for making Hogan tap. The wig is finally removed for good and Angle issues an open challenge to anyone he’s never faced before.

And now, wrestling history. Cole: “Tazz I know this kid. That’s John Cena.” Angle asks why Cena thinks he can come out here and face him like this. Cena says ruthless aggression and slaps the taste out of Angle’s match to start things off in a hurry. You can feel the intensity in him though of course no one knew how big he was based off those ten seconds.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena takes him outside and keeps hammering away before a running splash gets two. Kurt picks the ankle and snaps off the first German suplex to put both guys down. A rollup gets two for Cena but Angle blasts him down with a clothesline. They’re certainly going hard out there and it’s working so far.

Cena throws him off to break a front facelock and gets two off a good looking spinebuster. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for some near falls (Taz: “RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! THERE IT IS!” Is that what it is? Multiple pinfall attempts?) and a powerslam gets the same. Kurt finally has enough and grabs a double chickenwing rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. For a rookie making his debut against a top star, this was a heck of a match as, save for that front facelock, they were going at top speed for the entire match. You can see something in Cena but it takes more than a five minute match to make a career. The presence is there though and that’s something you either have or you don’t.

Cena offers a handshake but Angle walks away. Kurt teases coming back for more but decides it’s not worth it. One important point here: Angle gives a big sigh of relief when he knows Cena can’t see him anymore. Little things like that sell moments like this so much more.

Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi are congratulating Cena when Undertaker comes up. The champ asks his name and extends his hand for a good job. I know I said they need to make new stars but Angle and Undertaker in less than half an hour? That’s a rub that you don’t see very often, if ever.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Big Valbowski vs. Billy and Chuck

Hard Val is challenging, apparently after wanting to team up for years. Why they didn’t do so isn’t explained, nor is the fact that they’re making their debut and are apparently the second best tag team on Smackdown on arrival. Chuck charges into a right hand to start but Val does the same, suggesting that he isn’t the best student in the world.

Holly gets beaten down in the corner as Cole praises Billy and Chuck for being surprisingly good. They’re two time Tag Team Champions at this point and you’re still surprised that they’re a good team? That’s slow even for Cole. A belly to back suplex is enough for the hot tag to Val but Rico offers a distraction, setting up the Fameasser to retain.

Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: Venis and Holly are fine for a veteran team and could be perfectly fine as eventual challengers if you give them some promos and a few wins over jobbers. However, since there’s no tag division to speak of, they’re thrown out there against the champs and already lose. Where are they supposed to go from here? Take the time and build a division as you have a bunch of people sitting around (Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi come to mind) doing nothing. Make something up and give them a reason to team. The rest can take care of itself.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to preview the Divas Undressed special. She takes off her robe, walks around in lingerie and that’s it. No angle, no talking, nothing at all. At least it was short.

Tajiri likes looking at Nidia so Jamie Noble offers her to him if they win their tag match later.

HHH has been fighting through an elbow injury and is all tough but had to have it fixed in the operating room. After this deadly operation he’ll be out……FOR TWO TO THREE WEEKS!!! Taz teases he’ll be back next week actually. This got way too much time for something like that, especially when you could just say he was banged up after the pay per view or something.

Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm

Storm is here to prove how unfair American referees really are. We’re not ready yet though as we need to look at Mark Henry lifting some 100+ year old 172lb dumbbell. Henry throws him around to start but a rake of the eyes breaks up a press slam. Storm gets tossed outside and then thrown back in because Henry is really strong. Another eye rake gets Storm out of a bearhug and Henry misses a Vader Bomb, setting up the superkick to give Lance the pin. Again: Henry is STRONG. We get it already.

Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He recaps the pay per view main event and takes credit for HHH undergoing elbow surgery. Cole: “HHH is actually OUT of the hospital now!” Undertaker wants to know where Rock thinks he fits into that match and here’s a clip of Sunday’s fighting. Rock will be back here on July 11 (the FULL TIME Rock of course because he doesn’t do this part time nonsense) and Undertaker will make him pay for King of the Ring.

This brings out Kurt Angle of all people, who wants a title shot next week, assuming Undertaker gets by Jeff Hardy on Raw. Undertaker eventually agrees, even though Angle had trouble getting by a rookie tonight. That’s cool with Kurt, but he asks to touch the title. The champ actually lets him do it (moron) and is in the ankle lock almost immediately. You don’t see Undertaker acting that stupid very often and, along with that handshake earlier, suggests a face/tweener turn.

Torrie models more lingerie. Yeah she looks amazing but this is the kind of thing that makes people criticize wrestling.

Test vs. Rikishi

They take turns beating on each other in the corner but the referee won’t let Test throw a punch. Rikishi hits a superkick but gets slowed down by a low blow. The Test Drive is broken up and the ref is bumped, earning Test a DQ loss even though Rikishi shoved him into the ref. I don’t know why wrestling can never learn that no one cares about referee stories.

Test gets a Stinkface before Christian and Storm can come out for the late save.

Vince calls Hogan into his office and the boss is really, really happy about Hogan tapping out on Sunday. Hogan implies that they’ll fight one day and Vince is aghast.

Test rants about how much America sucks.

Billy Kidman/Hurricane vs. Tajiri/Jamie Noble

The bad guys take over to start and Noble has to bail from the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Hurricane as he tries a double chokeslam, only to shove them both down instead. Kidman hiptosses his partner onto Noble but walks into the Tajiri elbow. The Tarantula makes things even worse but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Now the chokeslam works for Hurricane and the shooting star puts Tajiri away.

Rating: C+. They’re getting close to having something with this division as it’s slowly building after being nothing interesting for weeks on end. Add a few more names to the thing, perhaps one being the King of Mystery, and they really could have something special. Imagine that: a division works when you have distinct characters instead of people who look, act and work the same.

Torrie and Stacy Keibler are catty to each other because that’s what women in wrestling do. While wearing lingerie of course.

Torrie, now billed as appetizing, wears a third outfit. Stacy comes out in a schoolgirl outfit and gets a far bigger pop. We’re not done yet as Dawn Marie comes out as well and the blondes get in a catfight. This is so beyond a waste of time.

Chris Jericho isn’t sure what he’ll use to beat Hogan tonight but he’d love to make him tap.

Rey Mysterio is coming.

Reverend D-Von/Deacon Batista vs. Faarooq/Randy Orton

This is Batista’s in ring debut and the first time he’s been seen without a shirt. Orton does his rookie offense on D-Von to start until a dropkick of all things puts Randy down. A superplex is broken up and Orton scores with a middle rope bulldog. Faarooq comes in to clean house but the Dominator is countered with a DDT. It’s already back to Orton for a high crossbody, only to have Batista come in off the blind tag. That wicked clothesline blasts Orton and a spinebuster (with multiple camera cuts, suggesting a botch or an edit) finishes Randy in a hurry.

Rating: C-. They were smart to have Batista only come in at the end for the big power display, making this an effective debut. The thing is you have two teams right here plus the champs and Venis/Holly. These are three teams thrown together in the span of a few weeks and you’re getting close to a division. Simple ideas (gimmick/enforcer, two veterans, veteran/rookie) are fine and can grow into something else until the next big team can be put together. Why is that so complicated?

Here’s how to get a free catalog!

Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho

The fans are WAY into Hogan here (hardly shocking in a town like Chicago) as Jericho is backdropped to start. It’s too early for the big elbow though (always seems weird to be anything but a big leg or boot) and Jericho gets in a low blow to take over. The fans are all over Jericho so he does the hand to the ear before going way old school with the abdominal stretch.

Just in case the words ABDOMINAL STRETCH aren’t clear enough, Cole points out that it hurts your gut. Hogan’s comeback is countered as Jericho slides under the big boot (that’s what happens when you stop fighting giants) and hits the bulldog into the Lionsault for two. Jericho has had enough of the Hulking Up and hits Hogan with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here with Jericho doing the work and letting Hogan do all of his spots. This isn’t a case of Hogan showing anyone up and the match was actually fine, all things considered. There’s value in Hogan giving people rubs like this, but he can only do it for so long before it stops mattering.

Jericho loads up a Conchairto the arm but his own countdown comes up. Cue the returning Edge (who Cole can’t recognize from behind despite him having a pretty easy shape to recognize) for the save and beatdown. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was up and down here but this was ALL about the new talent. That might not always mean new people but it did a lot of good for setting things up for the future. There are skeletons of tag and cruiserweight divisions though that’s not what matters the most.

Tonight we saw a focus on John Cena, Batista and Randy Orton with Rey Mysterio debuting soon. While none of them are stars yet, those four are fresh ideas who could mean something to the company, which isn’t what you get around here. They’re actually setting something up and that’s what matters more than anything else. I liked the show a lot and there’s stuff I want to see instead of all the nonsense that keeps going on around here for so long. Good show here (with the least Vince in a LONG time) and a lot of hope for the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s two days after Survivor Series and less than two weeks to Tables, Ladders and Chairs, meaning it’s time to make up a card. Thankfully Smackdown is ready for that and has already announced a tag team turmoil match to determine who will challenge Rhyno and Heath Slater. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of Smackdown winning the men’s tag match.

Here’s a banged up Shane McMahon to open things up. After a YOU STILL GOT IT chant, Shane praises Team Raw for bringing it as hard as they did. That being said, he’s not happy with AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose, who couldn’t keep it together for a single night. Shane is as close to serious as he can get but Dean keeps chuckling and brings out James Ellsworth, who took out Braun Strowman.

Apparently there’s a surprise for Ellsworth but Dean jumps the gun by saying James is getting a contract. So he was working freelance until then? And he had a World Title shot? Didn’t Shane learn anything from the Monday Night Wars? Dean has been given the night off and Shane wants him out of the building.

This brings out AJ Styles, who wants Dean’s title shot revoked. After that goes nowhere, AJ goes to Ellsworth, who is being handed his contract. Since TLC is in two weeks, AJ needs a warmup. How about we put that contract above the ring and have a ladder match? Ellsworth actually agrees but if he wins, he wants a future title shot.

Daniel Bryan interrupts Miz and Maryse’s photo shoot and Miz is ready for Mizgiving. That’s not what Daniel has in mind though as he’s going to give Miz an Intercontinental Title defense against Kalisto, who was screwed out of the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday.

After a break, Shane makes sure Dean leaves the arena.

Intercontinental Title: Kalisto vs. Miz

Miz is defending. Kalisto goes behind to start and backflips under a clothesline. A suicide dive sends Miz down to the floor and us to a break. Back with Kalisto still in control and hitting his springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. A slingshot sitout powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two more on the champ as Miz is reeling so far. Cue Baron Corbin for a distraction though and a Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 7:15. Not enough to rate but Miz was getting squashed until the ending.

Corbin lays Kalisto out and Dolph Ziggler superkicks Miz to make up for last week. Good grief can we PLEASE go somewhere with Corbin vs. Kalisto but more importantly, MOVE ON FROM MIZ VS. ZIGGLER???

Alexa Bliss comes in to see the bosses but Bryan bails to go deal with what happened. Becky Lynch walks in (“I knocked.”) and says the rematch is at TLC. Cue Natalya with the whistle and talks her way into a match with Becky. Natalya leaves so here’s Dean with a pizza, much to Shane’s annoyance. Becky: “I’ll see you later….after I take out a PIZZA Nattie’s arm!”

Video on the Wrestlemania ticket sale party.

Bryan gives Corbin a match with Kane.

Tag Team Turmoil

This is a gauntlet match with the last team standing getting the Tag Team Title shot at TLC. Ascension and the Hype Bros start things off with the Bros getting jumped from behind and beaten down on the floor. Things settle down with Ryder getting beaten down and chopped a lot. A double neckbreaker gets Ryder out of trouble though and it’s a Hype Ryder for the first pin.

Breezango is in next and we take a quick break. Back with Breezango in control and avoiding a Broski Boot. A slingshot elbow puts Ryder away and it’s American Alpha in fourth. Fandango is right on top of Gable as he comes in and Chad is in early trouble. That goes nowhere as Gable rolls Breeze up for a quick elimination. It’s the Vaudevillains in at #5 and they’re out in less than thirty seconds off a German suplex. That leaves the Usos vs. Alpha for the title shot but the twins aren’t thrilled with getting in immediately.

We take an early break and come back with Jordan in trouble. A belly to back suplex gives Jey two and we hit the chinlock for a bit, only to have Jason pop up and make the hot tag. Gable comes in and cleans house with a snap German suplex getting two on Jey. With Jordan still down, Chad gets caught in a backbreaker/top rope knee combo for a near fall. Jason makes a blind tag and the Steiner Bulldog gets two with Jimmy making a save. Jey scores with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees, setting up a small package for two. Grand Amplitude ends Jey at 21:02.

Rating: B-. The first half of this wasn’t much to see but Alpha and the Usos tore the house down. It’s a good idea to give Alpha the title shot as you can only keep them away from the belts for so long. They’re just so far ahead of almost everyone else and only the Usos can really keep up with them. Check out the final fall but the rest is pretty skippable.

The Wyatts pop up on screen to say they’re the final team but won’t face Alpha until next week.

Ellsworth knows he’s in over his head but wants to fight anyway because any man with two feet can climb a ladder. This brings in Ambrose…..who is dressed as a Mountie (not THE Mountie of course). Shane comes back in and freaks out, telling Ambrose to leave again. Dean: “Don’t you want to know why I’m dressed as a Mountie?” Shane leaves before he does something he’ll regret. Bryan actually asks why he’s dressed like that, which Dean says is because he always gets his man. JBL: “A lunatic Rougeau Brother?”

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Alexa is on commentary. They hit the mat to start with Natalya getting the better of it as we take an early break. Back with Natalya in control with an abdominal stretch. It’s almost time for the Sharpshooter but Becky reverses into the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 7:12. Again not enough to rate but it did its job just fine.

Bliss jumps Becky post match.

The Hype Bros shill merchandise.

Miz wants Dolph Ziggler to be suspended but gets a title match against Ziggler at TLC in a ladder match. This is their LAST match.

Nikki Bella accuses Carmella of attacking her at Survivor Series. Carmella suggests that it was Charlotte or Dana Brooke. See, Nikki has made a lot of enemies because she’s not exactly Mother Theresa. There’s going to be an anything goes match at TLC.

Kane vs. Baron Corbin

The masked one goes after him to start but walks into one heck of a right hand to stagger him into the corner. Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes but here’s Kalisto to go after Baron for the DQ at 1:05.

Kane chokeslams Corbin for good measure. Kalisto grabs a chair but Corbin bails before anything can happen. For some reason Corbin charges back in and takes a Van Daminator.

AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth

Non-title ladder match and if AJ wins, Ellsworth is gone for good. If Ellsworth wins, he gets the contract and a future title shot. What Ellsworth, in a neck brace, doesn’t get is an entrance though as AJ comes out after a break. Ellsworth is knocked out to the floor and a kick to the face makes it even worse.

A backbreaker further damages James’ bad back and AJ puts the ladder on top of him. As AJ goes up for the climb, here’s Ambrose in a hockey jersey and helmet to take AJ down. The Phenomenal Forearm drops Dean but Ellsworth shoves the ladder over, sending Styles down to the floor. No Chin Music knocks AJ into the ropes and his boot is tied up in the ropes, allowing Jams to get the contract at 6:00.

Rating: D. This was about the story instead of the match but I’m getting tired of seeing AJ lose to Ellsworth. I know there’s interference and it doesn’t really matter but this is the third time we’ve done this same story and this time the big final shot was Ellsworth on his own. Not a good match of course but this was more of an angle than a match.

JBL does a trademark freak out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like an episode of Raw. The matches were mostly short and featured a ton of interference, though they did set up a bunch of stuff for the pay per view. The good thing is they had most of their stuff set up in advance so this wasn’t the hardest card to throw together. Not a bad show but it didn’t have the Smackdown feel.

Results

Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale

American Alpha won Tag Team Turmoil – Grand Amplitude to Jey

Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her

Baron Corbin b. Kane via DQ when Kalisto interfered

James Ellsworth b. AJ Styles – Ellsworth pulled down the contract

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2002
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before King of the Ring 2002 and we’re officially in the Kurt Angle is Bald era. As big of a change as it was, that would wind up being his signature look for years to come and still is to this day. Tonight we wrap up the first round of the tournament to get us down to the final four so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock’s speech from Monday. You know, the one where he talks about people needing to stick around as he comes back from another movie hiatus.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle with the wig to get things going. He knows people have been laughing at him but this is serious. The reality is…..he’s bald and he’s been wearing a wig. He’s tried everything from Rogaine to hair tonic to fertilizer but nothing has worked. We look back at the wig being ripped off last week and Angle is distraught. Hogan is the real joke around here because he looks like he’s 100 years old and wears red and yellow boas. Angle is very confused by the hand to the ear thing and promises to make Hogan tap on Sunday.

Cue Hogan to say he’ll beat Angle up and threatens the wig. The fight is on with Hogan getting the better of it until Angle bails. I really don’t get the point of keeping the wig on when we’ve already seen the bald head and Angle acknowledges that he’s bald. Just go Olympic on Hogan and put us out of our misery.

Stacy Keibler is checking out her gear for Divas Undressed when Dawn Marie comes up for the usual “Vince wants to sleep with ME” argument. Torrie Wilson comes up and shows off her underwear to annoy them even more. You know what? I kind of prefer them doing it this way instead of pretending it’s anything else. It’s an excuse to have the women in their underwear so just say that’s what they’re going for.

Rikishi vs. Christian

Christian charges into a backdrop to start but gets the big man in trouble with some right hands to the head. So much for racial stereotypes in wrestling. The Unprettier doesn’t work and a pop up cutter (looked more like a flapjack because Rikishi can never get that right) puts Christian away.

Christian’s foot was on the rope during the pin so Lance Storm comes out to complain. The complaining continues post break with Storm saying it’s because Christian is Canadian. As is so often the case, this goes on too long with Storm ranting about how all Americans are prejudiced and all other countries hate America because they’re so smug.

HHH says he’s getting the title back in three days. Gay jokes are made at Billy Gunn’s expense in preparation for their match later tonight. If there’s a reason to care about HHH as a face, it’s going WAY over my head.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are all fired up for Jamie to become Crusierweight Champion on Sunday. Hurricane’s mask is between Nidia’s legs because that’s amusing or something.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Winner gets the title shot on Sunday. I’ll give them a point for having Jamie need a win to become #1 contender instead of just having a newcomer the title shot. A hiptoss sends Kidman outside and Jamie starts in on his arm. Kidman gets in a loud enziguri for a breather but Nidia crotches him on top, setting up an elevated DDT to send Jamie to King of the Ring. I’m already thinking I was wrong on Jamie having to win a match. Was this really necessary if they can’t even have three minutes?

Post match Jamie puts on the mask and cape, drawing out Hurricane for a chokeslam. Hurricane gets the mask back a week after losing it, which is already better than TJ Perkins being asked to lay down so Brian Kendrick can win the title.

Billy vs. HHH

HHH does his full posing so Billy tries a cheap shot. That’s enough selling though so HHH clotheslines him outside and whips Billy into the steps. Back in and a powerslam gives Billy two but instructions to SUCK IT are just too far for HHH, who grabs a neckbreaker. Chuck offers a distraction and Rico gets in a spinning kick to the face….which is followed by a Pedigree to end Billy without much effort.

Rating: D. Just in case the Rikishi/Rico title reign wasn’t enough to crush the titles all over again, this was another great example of how bad the Tag Team Titles are doing at the moment. HHH might as well have been fighting any given jobber here as he shrugged off a triple team attack and won in less than five minutes. What a great use of champions, especially when the titles on Raw are already so worthless.

Kurt comes in and is quickly dispatched, followed by Undertaker coming in to get HHH in trouble. Angle hits Undertaker with a chair by mistake though, which is finally enough to end this segment.

Vince and Stacy talk about the pay per view when Undertaker storms in and demands a match with Angle tonight.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Chris Jericho vs. Big Valbowski

Venis gets jumped to start but comes back with some jobber offense. That just earns him a sleeper drop for two but Jericho’s dropkick is countered into a catapult into the corner. A spinebuster gets a cold two and the referee gets bumped because Val Venis vs. Chris Jericho needs a ref bump. Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets no count but the Blue Thunder Bomb gets a close two. The Walls send Jericho on to King of the Ring a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was better but the same problem that held back the previous match back was present here: there was almost no doubt as to who was winning. Was anyone going to buy Venis as a real threat to take out Jericho? At least they had a few more minutes to work with here and the match was able to go somewhere as a result.

Here’s Rock whole speech from Monday.

Test and Hardcore Holly trash talk.

Vince and Stacy talk Angle into fight Undertaker by having him pretend Undertaker is Hogan.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Test vs. Hardcore Holly

And they wonder why the crowd isn’t interested. A powerslam gives Holly an early near fall but he gets whipped hard into the corner. The full nelson slam is countered into a sloppy rollup for two on Test but a pumphandle slam gets the same on Holly. Back up and the big boot gives Test a shot at Lesnar on Sunday.

Rating: D. This is a good example of why this era is pretty forgotten. Was Test vs. Holly the best they could come up with? If you have to push Test through to the next round (fine enough as another Lesnar victim), wasn’t there ANYONE other that Holly to put him over? The problem: I’m really not sure there is someone else at the moment, which is why they really need to build the roster up in a hurry.

Test says he’ll win because the next big thing is getting the next big boot.

Here are the final four:

Rob Van Dam

Chris Jericho

Test

Brock Lesnar

Vince has Fit Finlay and Johnny Ace get Undertaker and Angle to try to calm things down. Stacy is sent to the hotel, but not before Vince kisses her awkwardly.

Jericho is ready for Rob Van Dam.

We run down Sunday’s card and my goodness this looks horrible.

Vince tells Undertaker and Angle to have a good, clean competition. He demands a handshake but Undertaker doesn’t want to shake the hand of someone who threatened to break his ankle. That’s a fair point actually. A brawl breaks out and Vince gets crushed, putting him on Undertaker’s side.

Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and Angle grabs a chair before Undertaker comes to the ring. The chair goes nowhere so an early ankle lock sends Undertaker crawling to the ropes. Angle unhooks a turnbuckle pad but of course it’s not that simple. The straps are already down because they don’t have time to do the full formula. A clothesline breaks up the Angle Slam and Kurt is sent back first into the exposed buckle.

Kurt goes face first into the post but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock. The hold stays on for over a full minute until Undertaker FINALLY rolls forward for the break. The ankle is fine enough for a chokeslam but here’s HHH for a distraction so Angle can grab a rollup for the pin. Here’s the bigger problem than the minute long ankle lock: the pop that Test got for pinning Holly was far bigger than the one Angle just got for pinning the World Champion.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen two of the best of all time have such a worthless match. That ankle lock was horrible and the ending made things even worse. How does this make me want to see either of the two big matches at the pay per view? Undertaker gets pinned and Angle’s finisher can’t beat anyone despite staying on for over a minute. That’s their marketing plan? Really?

Post match HHH beats up Undertaker but here’s Hogan to put Angle in an ankle lock. I’ve never seen him work a decent armbar but he’s making Angle tap to an ankle lock. Undertaker gives Hogan a chokeslam, only to walk into a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show is in need of a BIG refresh because it’s getting worse and worse. There’s almost no good wrestling as they have to fly through everything, though I can’t figure out what they spent the extra time on. Maybe all the Undertaker and Angle backstage segments or the vignettes hyping up a lingerie show? Either way, this show is downright horrible lately and King of the Ring is looking like a potential disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: November 15, 2016
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

It’s the 900^th episode and also the final show before Sunday’s Survivor Series. That means there’s a lot of potential for hijinks and shenanigans tonight, which could mean for a very entertaining show. If nothing else maybe they can do something other than having wacky partners who can’t get along four times in one night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick montage of great Smackdown moments before previewing tonight’s show. It’s always cool to see the older days and WWE knows how to pull those things off very well.

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon come out and welcome us to the show, mainly focusing on the big events before introducing the first match.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is challenging and the winner gets to defend against Sami Zayn on Sunday. After the Big Match Intros, Mauro starts in with the standard talking points about how awesome the Intercontinental Title is. Miz gets him to the ground to start but can’t hit either finisher before we take an early break.

Back with both guys down before Miz hits the Reality Check for two. It’s time to start in on the knees until Miz gets sent leg first into the buckle to give the champ a breather. The big elbow gets two for Ziggler and he grabs the sleeper, sending Miz straight to the ropes. The Fameasser (without much contact of course) gets two for Ziggler and we take a second break.

We come back again with Miz mocking Bryan’s YES pose before starting with the YES Kicks. A running knee to the face sets up the Skull Crushing Finale with Mauro falling victim to the “WELL THAT HAS TO BE IT” syndrome, guaranteeing that Ziggler kicks out at two. The Zig Zag gets the same result for the champ (because WWE doesn’t know many ways to do big matches) but here’s the Spirit Squad for the distraction to set up the Figure Four. Ziggler makes the ropes and grabs a small package, only to have Maryse shove it over so Miz can get the title back at 17:53.

Rating: B. This wasn’t quite as good as the No Mercy match but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining. I’m a bit sick of the Spirit Squad interfering every single time as they really don’t have much else to do with Ziggler at this point. The same finish could have been done without them but I’ve seen worse ideas. At least Miz won and should be able to have a better match as a result.

We look back at the end of last night’s show.

Clip of Steve Austin destroying the DX Express back in 2000.

Alexa Bliss presents her case for a rematch against Becky Lynch to Bryan, who gives it to her but won’t give her a date. Cue Natalya with that freaking whistle but her inspirational message sends Bliss storming off.

Kalisto vs. Oney Lorcan

Lorcan is from NXT and goes right after Kalisto with a knee to the head. A suplex gets two as JBL tries to convince us that Lorcan is similar to Brian Kendrick. The Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto the pin at 1:14.

Undertaker picks up his hat.

Clip of Rock vs. HHH from the first episode.

Quick montage of Rock’s appearances on Smackdown.

The Smackdown tag team Survivor Series team is ready for Sunday. Heath Slater and Rhyno have brought in a motivational speaker: KING BOOKAH! Before he can read a proclamation, Breezango comes in to give Booker a ticket for his fashion sense. This turns him into Booker T. to yell at Breezango and hit the catchphrase. An ALL HAIL KING BOOKER chant breaks out. This was perfect for a quick cameo.

Clip of John Cena debuting against Kurt Angle in 2002.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

Feeling out process to start with Carmella doing You Can’t See Me. A snap suplex puts Carmella down and Nikki mostly botches a dropkick which barely grazes Carmella in the ribs. Carmella comes right back by slamming Nikki neck first onto the floor before ramming her face in for good measure.

Back in and Carmella grabs a chinlock, which actually makes sense for once. We hit the hair pulling but Carmella stops to dance for no apparent reason. The Bronco Buster misses….and here’s Charlotte through the crowd to have a seat as we take a break. Back with a Disaster Kick sending Carmella outside and the big shout off between Bella and Charlotte. The brawl is on and it’s a no contest at 11:34.

Rating: C. I really don’t know why Nikki vs. Charlotte is supposed to be some big deal when we saw it about a year ago and it wasn’t anything special. I know Nikki is the star of the Smackdown women’s division but at least give us something a little more fresh. Either that or just put the title on Nikki already so we can hear how inspiring it is.

Team Raw comes in for the beatdown (including Bayley, which is pretty out of character for her) and Carmella joins in. Team Smackdown runs out for the save with Carmella celebrating with them, which is just stupid on all counts.

Renee Young previews Goldberg vs. Lesnar, which means she introduces a video package on the match.

Headbangers/Ascension/Spirit Squad/Vaudevillains vs. Usos/Hype Bros/Breezango/American Alpha

The official Smackdown team take turns on Mikey to start but Jimmy tags himself in, much to Jordan’s annoyance. Gotch comes in and gets the same treatment as the fans want Slater. Well they have him, albeit on the floor as extra support. Rawley, in Zubaz pants, gets two off a running seated senton and it’s off to Ryder vs. Viktor. Everyone heads to the floor and we take a break during the big shouting match.

Back with Ryder fighting out of the corner and making the hot tag off to Gable for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down with one team coming in to take out the next until only the Usos are left for a big double dive to take out about ten people. A slightly botched Grand Amplitude ends Thrasher at 10:40.

Rating: D+. There’s only so much you can do in a match like this where no one is going to get any significant time and the whole thing is going to be a mess. It was fun enough though and they were smart to leave this at four teams each instead of adding the extra four people. Sunday’s version should be fun with a little more drama and a chance for people to shine a bit more.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with the Smackdown team as special guests. Edge’s hair has grown out a bit and he has a good sized beard, making him look a bit like Mick Foley. After a break, Edge talks about bleeding blue and brings out the team as a group. Edge shakes Ellsworth’s hand because James has been such an inspiration for him. Ellsworth is stunned but manages to ask for a Five Second Pose. That’s not cool with the champ though because it should be him getting the attention instead of James.

Instead, Edge asks Orton what’s up with joining the Wyatt Family. Bray says the Randy that Edge once knew is dead because this Sunday, the world will see a more dangerous viper. Shane takes the mic and says they only have to get along for one night but AJ starts ripping into Ambrose. This turns into a promo for TLC but here’s Undertaker to cut them off.

Undertaker actually praises Shane and tips his hat to him before saying he’s here for two reasons. Wrestlemania will no longer define who he is because he’s back to take souls and dig holes. Survivor Series was where he was born and Smackdown has always been his home. He says there’s no reason for Smackdown to fail but if they do, they’ll have reason to fear the Deadman. Raw will Rest in Peace….and that’s it.

Overall Rating: C. Undertaker’s speech is continuing on the Network right? I mean, he came out and praised the Smackdown team and that’s about it. That’s really not something you would expect Undertaker to do and it felt out of place for him. At least Shane gets to stay on the team though and that’s what matters for some reason.

This show wasn’t great but it’s miles ahead of Raw. Above all else it actually mixed things up a little bit and didn’t drag all night long. They even made a new match for Sunday and built on some stuff that wasn’t just about the three matches. Character logic issues aside, this was a perfectly fine go home show and that’s all it needed to be.

As for a big anniversary show…..yeah this was fine. They aired a few clips and then cut them off in the middle, as is so often the case with WWE. Booker’s cameo was fine and it made sense to have Edge and Undertaker show up at the end as they were the biggest Smackdown exclusive stars. They were kind of handcuffed with a major pay per view to set up and that’s understandable.

Results

Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Small package

Kalisto b. Oney Lorcan – Salida Del Sol

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella went to a no contest when Nikki started brawling with Charlotte

Usos/Hype Bros/American Alpha/Breezango b. Headbangers/Ascension/Vaudevillains/Spirit Squad – Grand Amplitude to Thrasher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 13, 2002
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from King of the Ring and it’s really not looking like the most interesting thing in the world. Granted you could say that about almost any show around this point but this one is looking even worse. Smackdown no longer has its own owner so things are changing all over again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the big angle from Monday.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going, flanked by a bunch of security guards and with a table and chairs set up in the ring. Vince stands on top of the table and goes on a rant about how he put everything on the line and how powerful people only get more powerful. That’s why we’re going to entertain you tonight, starting with a CONTRACT SIGNING!

The boss brings out Undertaker and HHH for the very slow paced staredown. Undertaker signs, HHH throws out a chair and then signs, Vince talks and it’s a ratings bonanza! Security grabs HHH and the beatdown is on until HHH pulls out a well placed sledgehammer. HHH says he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Undertaker. A security guard gets beaten down and it’s time for a break. Back with HHH still in the ring as Billy, Chuck and Rico are standing on the ramp with the champs holding chairs. Threats of sucking on a sledgehammer ensue and Billy gets laid out.

With that not getting HHH anywhere, HHH he on the announcers’ table until the hammer actually breaks. Naturally there’s another hammer waiting but that can’t break the table either so HHH just kicks the thing over. Now it’s a monitor being destroyed, followed by a camera. Vince FINALLY comes out and makes HHH/Hogan vs. Undertaker/Angle for later. We’re over a fourth of the way through this show and they’ve only set up the main event. Oh and HHH beat up a Tag Team Champion. The camera gets destroyed too.

Back from a break with….replays!

Earlier today, Nidia made fun of Hurricane so he suggested she use her oral skills to tell Jamie Noble to come find him. A challenge is issued so Nidia licks his face. She’s no Catrina.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Test vs. Hurricane

Non-title of course. Test no sells some right hands to start and we can see the announcers’ table still on its side. Is HHH going to come back out here and hit them with his hammer if someone tips it back over? Hurricane avoids a charge in the corner but his crossbody is pulled out of the air. The chokeslam is broken up but a quick Eye of the Hurricane gets two on Test. And never mind as the Test Drive gets rid of Hurricane clean in less than two minutes. That would be two champions taken out in less than forty minutes.

Nidia and Noble come out and take off Hurricane’s mask.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Hardcore Holly

The table has been turned back over. You can stop panicking. Tazz picks Holly to win the whole tournament while Cole, who isn’t quite as stupid, picks Chris Jericho. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including the big spinning version for two. A powerslam gives Holly the same To change things up a bit, Tajiri kicks him in the head again for two more, followed by an Alabama Slam to give Holly the pin.

Rating: D. To be fair this was just to get to the final eight so Holly advancing isn’t the worst thing in the world. They kept it short but this was about three and a half minutes of them trading moves until one of them got pinned. Maybe they don’t quite have enough room on the roster for sixteen people but then we couldn’t have qualifying matches and those are interesting. Not as interesting as a thirty minute contract signing segment but you have to take what you can get.

Val Venis and Jericho trash talk each other.

GET THE F OUT! BARBERSHOP VERSION!

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm vs. Val Venis/Billy Kidman

Val runs Jericho over with a shoulder to start and a neckbreaker gets two. Kidman comes in with a bad looking high crossbody, though it could be due to Kidman’s trunks being about three sizes too small. The former Sudden Impact starts taking over on Kidman with Storm hitting a dropkick before Jericho misses a charge in the corner.

That’s enough for the tag off to Val as everything breaks down. The good guys mess up a spot with Kidman being launched into a dropkick (or maybe a hurricanrana), leaving him a little short and only kicking Storm in the chest with one foot. Val and Jericho go outside so Kidman can hit the shooting star. Jericho pulls the referee though and drops Kidman, only to have Billy roll Storm up for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. I can always go for moving a cruiserweight up the ladder a little bit and Kidman is more than good enough to make that jump. Now I have no faith in WWE to not screw this up all over again as that’s certainly their custom, but at least he got a win here and it’s a win he could build on rather than one over Jericho where he would get beaten in their singles rematch.

Replays show Storm’s shoulder was up. So much for Kidman looking good.

Hogan doesn’t think much about Angle for attacking him last week after the big match with HHH (that one that didn’t even last seven minutes). See, Hogan and Angle are a lot alike. They’re both American icons, they both love the red, white and blue, they’re both former champions and they’re both bald. The only difference is Hogan lost his hair battle to mother nature. Hogan wants a fight with Angle at some point in the future and can’t wait to face him in the main event tonight.

Storm yells at Brian Hebner for screwing up and thinks it’s typical American behavior, especially from this family. To be fair, they haven’t done anything with Montreal in what, ten minutes at this point?

We look at Jackie Gayda costing Linda Miles her debut match on Velocity.

Linda has found a partner to help her fight Jackie and Ivory: Trish.

Vince is on the phone and says the camera cost $50,000. Angle comes in and accepts Hogan’s challenge for King of the Ring but can’t stand the idea that Hogan thinks he’s bald. Undertaker comes in but Vince tells him tonight is a calculated risk.

D-Von comes out, calls…..shall we say self pleasuring a sin and says he doesn’t do that anymore. Faarooq comes out and says he still does.

Faarooq vs. Reverend D-Von

Spinebuster ends D-Von in seven seconds.

Batista hits D-Von in the head with the collection box by mistake. This whole thing took about three minutes, which is likely due to the opening segment taking up a fourth of the show. That might not be the worst thing in the world.

Trish Stratus/Linda vs. Ivory/Jackie Gayda

Thankfully the veterans start things off with Ivory taking over, allowing Jackie to hit Trish in the face with a knee brace. It’s off to Linda for a slam and dropkick with Ivory making the save. A double flapjack plants Linda again but the Stratusphere sets up Stratusfaction for the pin on Ivory. It’s good that they kept this short for obvious reasons. I’d be rather annoyed if I paid for this show and had to sit through a pair of rookies having a horrible match because of some reality show.

Stacy, looking GREAT tonight, hits on Vince for becoming boss again. Vince kisses her and Stacy looks disgusted. Dawn Marie knocking at the door was ignored.

For the first time we see the brackets for the King of the Ring.

X-Pac

Rob Van Dam

Val Venis

Chris Jericho

Test

Hardcore Holly

Booker T.

Brock Lesnar

Angle and Undertaker attack Hogan.

Hulk Hogan/HHH vs. Undertaker/Kurt Angle

HHH runs out and blasts Angle during the entrances so it’s the HHH vs. Undertaker slugout to start. Angle gets back in and the double teaming has HHH in trouble as we get down to the regular tag structure. The champ is happy with letting Angle do most of the work and get in a cheap shot here and there. A right hand puts Taker down but that’s enough of a distraction to start the rolling German suplexes.

Cole thinks HHH might be thrown off by fighting two men at the same time. This would be your “Gee willikers Cole, you think so?” moment of the night. Undertaker comes in for some slow right hands before it’s back to Angle for a sleeper. A double clothesline drops Taker and HHH, followed by Angle going shoulder first into the post. HHH is able to send Kurt into the steps but grabs the sledgehammer to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. It’s hard to imagine that this took place for any reason other than “Hogan can’t be trusted for more than one match every few weeks”. The wrestling here was way too slow paced to work and I was very bored for the most part. HHH vs. Undertaker is looking horrible for a main event and Angle is going to need a miracle to make Hogan look passable.

The beatdown continues post match with HHH being left laying, only to have Hogan run out and attack Angle. HHH gets back up and the wig is ripped off. A lot of posing ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know Raw gets all the criticism but this show was a trainwreck. It was half an hour of waiting around until we get to the end of the first segment (with the Tag Team Champions being treated as cannon fodder) and then a bunch of short matches, including a seven second “match” which didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. Things can get better but the main event is just killing this promotion right now.

Oh and as a bonus, here are the final four segments from a house show the Sunday before this show:

Billy and Chuck vs. Rikishi/Tazz

Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis

Swimsuit contestant

Hardcore Holly vs. Kurt Angle (Holly won)

Venis is probably a substitute for Edge but I have no idea where HHH was, as he and Angle main evented a house show the next night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6