Smackdown
Date: January 3, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re coming up on the Rumble and there are two major stories coming out of Monday: the return of Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan joining the Wyatts. The main reaction seems to be that Bryan joining is a slap in the fans’ face and I’m not sure where this idea is coming from. The first thing I thought when he agreed to join was that it was a plan by Bryan to infiltrate the Family and take them apart from the inside. I can’t imagine this doesn’t end with anything other than Bryan doing something to cost the Wyatts big, setting up a showdown between Bray and Daniel, perhaps in the Rumble? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw with Bryan turning his back on the fans and joining the Family.

Here’s the Shield in the ring to open the show. Ambrose says they’ve heard all the stories about the Shield crumbling from within and that some egos (with an arm around Reigns) are out of control. All of those rumors are dead wrong and if CM Punk thinks he can take down the Shield he’s in for a surprise. Reigns thinks the weak link in the team is obvious (with a look over at Ambrose): there isn’t a weak link. Rollins says the setbacks are temporary because the Shield will come together and dominate WWE.

Shield vs. Usos

Ambrose is the odd man out and sits in on commentary. Reigns gets things going with Jimmy and headbutts him in the corner. Jimmy gets taken down to the mat and stomped by Roman before it’s off to Seth who walks into a clothesline. Off to Jey for the first time and a back elbow to the jaw for two. The Usos get two more off a double elbow drop as Ambrose talks about taking over the WWE and closing down every bar and saloon from Dallas to Singapore. I miss wrestlers implying that they associate with each other off television.

Jimmy gets two off a backdrop before it’s back to Jey for an armdrag into an armbar. An uppercut stops Seth’s comeback and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The Usos hit stereo kicks to Reigns’ ribs to send him outside before backdropping Rollins on top of him. We take a break and come back with Jey holding Rollins in a chickenwing before Seth takes him into the corner for a tag to Reigns.

Roman takes Jey down with an elbow to the jaw as Shield takes over. Seth comes back in off the top with a right hand to the ribs. The announcers actually talk about unifying the midcard titles, meaning it might be a real possibility at the moment. Cole asks Ambrose if he’d like to face Langston. Ambrose, partially in song no less, says no and asks Cole to stop bullying him and “BE A STAR.” Can we just get Punk and Ambrose to do commentary on random matches? I’d buy the Network for that alone.

Off to a cobra clutch by Rollins before Reigns comes back in to bend Jey’s arm around the rope. Ambrose keeps spinning around in his chair at commentary. Reigns misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Seth can’t make a diving save so Jey makes the hot tag off to Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Rollins gets Samoan dropped but rolls to the floor before the Umaga attack can connect. Reigns is sent outside as well but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 9:03 shown of 12:03.

Rating: C+. These teams are reaching the point where they could have good matches in their sleep. The Usos are becoming the Kofi Kingstons of the tag division as you’re guaranteed a good match but they’re never going to go anywhere beyond where they are now. Hopefully they can break that mold and eventually get the titles that they’re long overdue to win.

Before Shield can get far in their triple team, CM Punk comes out for the save.

Throughout the night we’re going to get New Year’s Resolutions from Superstars. Up first are the Prime Time Players who want to use their talents to do more good and…..get a macaroni recipe?

Vickie, six man tag, etc.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

Xavier gets in on commentary as Fandango pounds Truth into the corner. Truth does his backflip to the middle of the ring and hiptosses Fandango down. Woods brags about getting a PHD and being the only man in history to be a doctor and work for WWE. JBL: “What about Dr. Jerry Graham and Dr. Tom Pritchard?”

Woods sums up the connection between he and Truth: they’re friends and Truth got him into wrestling. Works for me. Fandango comes back with a quick spinwheel kick to the jaw for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Truth fires off right hands but runs into a boot. Woods calls out the Funkadactyls and gets on the table (wearing JBL’s hat) to dance. The distraction lets Truth hit Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:52. Have we reached the point where the distraction is someone’s official set up move? Also shouldn’t that be considered a heel move?

Dancing ensues.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Big E. Langston talks about Brock destroying his friend on Monday and says he wouldn’t want to be Brock Lesnar right now. Curtis Axel comes in and says he’s sorry for what happened to Mark but he’ll be laughing all the way to the bank after beating Langston tonight. Big E. says no one will be laughing after the match.

Video on Bryan joining the Wyatts on Monday.

Tag Titles: Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Wyatt Family

Cody and Goldust are defending but there’s no Bray and/or Bryan. Goldust and Harper get things going with Luke driving him into the corner. The crowd is very quiet tonight for some reason. Harper is taken into the corner and a double suplex gets a one count for Luke. Back to Goldust who gets fingers in his eyes before it’s off to Rowan. The monsters make some quick tags to take over on Goldust but he comes back with right hands in the corner.

Rowan is knocked to the apron but Luke clotheslines Goldust down and puts on a chinlock. Goldust fights up and gets a quick two off a sunset flip. The hot tag (kind of as the crowd is still barely responding at all) brings in Cody for a knee lift and the Disaster Kick to send Harper to the floor. Cody follows him out but gets sent into the barricade and steps as we take a break.

Back with Rowan firing off more right hands put Cody down as we look at the empty rocking chair. Back to Harper for a running elbow in the corner to knock Cody down again. There’s the Gator Roll followed by another chinlock but Harper lets go of the hold to knock Goldust off the apron.

Rowan comes back in but gets sent to the floor, only to have Harper knock Goldust down again. A BIG sitout powerbomb gets two on Cody as Goldust makes the save. Everything breaks down and Harper kicks Cody in the face to knock him silly. Cody breaks up what looks like a belly to back superplex and hits the moonsault to a standing Harper. Goldust makes a blind tag and grabs an O’Connor roll for the pin on Rowan at 12:25.

Rating: B. I’m more and more impressed by Goldust and Cody every time they go out there. There’s that natural chemistry that you get with brothers that you just can’t teach and it’s taking these guys to another level. The Wyatts get better in the ring with every match they have as well with Rowan more than holding up his end of the team.

Miz’s resolution is to be awesome.

Nikki Bella vs. Aksana

This is fallout from Aksana pinning Nikki on Monday in the ten Diva tag. They shove each other to start until Nikki hiptosses her down and drives shoulders in the corner. Aksana rolls outside and grabs Nikki’s arm to slam it into the post. The announcers are comparing Aksana to Hannibal Lecter for some reason as she gets two off a side slam. Off to an arm lock on Nikki but she fights back with clotheslines and dropkicks. Aksana comes back with a kick to the ribs and forearms in the corner, only to get Racked. Nikki drops to her knees (that move HAS to be a rib somehow) into a backbreaker for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. The girls both look good in tight outfits but they have no business in the ring. If nothing else this makes Brie look that much better as she’s miles ahead of Nikki as far as wrestling skills go. Aksana is there as eye candy, which makes me wonder why they had get the pin on Monday.

We get the video package on Orton’s career from Raw.

Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title. Axel gets in some right hands to start but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Big E. charges into a boot in the corner but knocks Axel out of the air with a shoulder block for two. Curtis comes back with some right hands and knee drops before hooking an armbar. Langston pops up and hits a quick belly to belly followed by the Warrior Splash. Axel escapes the Big Ending and snaps Langston’s throat across the top rope but walks into the Big Ending for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Langston and there’s nothing wrong with that. He needs to keep racking up wins like this to make him feel like an unstoppable force before someone knocks him off for the title so Big E. can move to the main event. It worked for Warrior and it can work for Langston.

The Raw ReBound looks at Lesnar destroying Mark Henry.

We get a sitdown interview with Heyman who says Brock is back because there’s one WWE Champion. Brock wants to be the one and only champion and it doesn’t matter who comes out of the Rumble with the title. Heyman says Brock is looking to do something Old School next week, meaning he’ll be on Raw.

Time for Bad News Barrett with his nifty rising podium. The bad news tonight: no one is going to keep their new year’s resolutions so this time next year, everyone will be just as fat, unhealthy and unproductive as they are now.

CM Punk/Usos vs. Shield

Ambrose and Punk get us going with CM being driven into the corner, only to have Punk whip him over to the other Shield members. Off to Rollins who grabs a hammerlock but Punk counters into a headlock so he can loudly shout spots in Rollins’ ear. A neckbreaker puts Seth down for two and it’s off to Jey for a running headbutt. He puts Seth in a Boston crab as the now legal Jimmy drops a leg on the back of Seth’s head.

A leg lariat puts Seth down and it’s back to Jey for a superkick to the chest. Ambrose is sent to the floor but Reigns blocks a big dive from Jey as we take a break. Back with Reigns driving a headbutt into Jimmy’s chest and getting two off the Superman Punch. Rollins comes in with a backsplash for two and we hit the neck crank. Seth goes up but gets crotched down, only to have Ambrose come in to break up the hot tag attempt.

Jimmy breaks a chinlock with a jawbreaker and elbows his way out of a belly to back superplex attempt. Reigns comes in with Jimmy still on the top and gets taken down by a top rope cross body. Rollins knocks Jey off the apron but can’t stop the tag to Punk. CM comes in with a springboard clothesline and the running knee in the corner. Ambrose distracts Punk from dropping the Macho Elbow and Rollins crotches him on the top.

Punk rolls through a crossbody to put Rollins in the Anaconda Vice but Reigns makes the save. Another Superman Punch puts Jey down and we get down to the legal Punk vs. Rollins. Seth crawls over and tags in Dean who hits a butterfly superplex on Punk for two. Punk comes back with a GTS attempt but drops him before Reigns can launch the spear. A double superkick drops Roman and Seth gets backdropped to the floor. The twins hit stereo dives and the GTS ends Ambrose at 13:48.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as you would expect, even with Ambrose taking the fall again. I’m assuming they’re building up to Reigns calling Ambrose out for all of the losses but get the title off of him if that’s where they’re going. If nothing else Shield hasn’t turned into a joke and they’re potentially splitting while still having awesome matches.

A video from Bray Wyatt talking about Bryan needing the Family to be his home ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. They focused on the tag stuff again tonight but the taping schedule messed a few things up. It’s annoying that we have to wait for Monday for anything on Bryan but it’s better to do it on a big Raw than on a regular Smackdown anyway. This is another show that you didn’t need to see but it was a fine enough way to spend two hours.

Results

Usos b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered

R-Truth b. Fandango – Little Jimmy

Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Wyatt Family – O’Connor roll to Rowan

Nikki Bella b. Aksana – Torture rack backbreaker

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending

CM Punk/Usos b. Shield – GTS to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 24, 2004
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a request due to the main event: John Cena vs the Undertaker. I don’t think that really needs much more of an explanation. On top of that it’s the go home show for the Great American Bash, meaning we’re getting close to the “Paul Bearer in concrete” match. That main event makes me drool though so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last week with Undertaker kneeling to Paul Heyman for the sake of saving Paul Bearer from being harmed. Heyman says that one day Undertaker will bow to him because it’s the right thing to do. Undertaker then destroyed a bunch of upper midcard guys, including Cena.

Charlie Haas and the GORGEOUS Jackie Gayda ask Cena if he knows what he’s getting into. Cena says he knows it’s suicide but he’s doing it anyway. The it hasn’t been specified yet.

Here’s Cena (US Champion and going into a fourway on Sunday) with something to say. Cena has heard all day that he can’t come out here and threaten Undertaker because you’re going to pay dearly. Last week he got tombstoned though (audience boos) but right now he needs an explanation. This brings out injured GM Kurt Angle who says he’s never felt this happy before. He has something to be very happy about: he’s written a rap for just this occasion. Cena sounds thrilled and can’t wait to hear it. The rap is of course nothing but basic rhyming with an insult to the Orlando Magic. Short version: Cena vs. Undertaker tonight.

After a break JBL comes in to see Angle and his assistant Luther Reigns. JBL sucks up to the boss and calls him an inspiration to wheelchair bound people everything. However, JBL is worried about Eddie Guerrero and thinks he needs to be taught a lesson. Angle can’t do it, so tonight it’s Eddie vs. Reigns.

Battle Royal

Scotty 2 Hotty, Chavo Guerrero, Funaki, Akio, Billy Kidman, Spike Dudley, Jamie Noble, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore

This is for a shot at the Cruiserweight Title against Mysterio on Sunday and the champion is of course on commentary. Rey beat Chavo Classic (don’t ask) for the title last week. It’s your basic battle royal to start with everyone beating on everyone and trying to throw someone out. London dropkicks Spike into a backdrop from Nunzio for our first elimination but London dumps Nunzio just as quickly. The referee missed it though and Nunzio goes back in. Not that it matters as London hits a Flying Chuck (Disaster Kick) to put him out again.

Chavo sends London over the top but he skins the cat, only to have Nunzio pull him down to the floor. Shannon is sent to the apron and kicked out by Akio, only to have Chavo dump Akio as well. Scotty saves Funaki for no apparent reason and loads up the Worm on Chavo, only to superkick Jamie. Kidman dropkicks Scotty out and Chavo baseball slides, leaving Kidman, Chavo and Noble. Jamie takes Kidman down with a nice German suplex and Billy gets double teamed. The crowd is all over Chavo here as he and Jamie try their hardest to get rid of Kidman.

Billy keeps hanging on to the ropes and even comes back with a double clothesline to put everyone down. Kidman tries to throw Jamie out but Chavo breaks it up and tries to put Kidman out instead. That goes nowhere so Chavo puts Kidman on top, only to have Jamie throw Chavo down and put Kidman in the Tree of Woe. Jamie gets in another shot to Chavo but can’t get him out. Kidman goes off on Noble and slingshots him into the corner but Jamie stops himself on the corner. Chavo knocks him out to get us down to two and catches Kidman in a Gory Bomb for the elimination and the title shot.

Rating: D+. It’s a battle royal which are always hard to grade. There’s nothing here that really stands above any other battle royal though the stuff with the final three guys wasn’t bad at all. This could have been a much better triple threat but I guess they were trying to get anyone they could out there.

Heyman is on the phone with the company making the concrete crypt on Sunday. He wants there to be no escape whatsoever. The Dudleys come up and want to know why they should believe Undertaker will do the right thing. Heyman gives one of his speeches when Mordecai (religious zealot who wore all white) and Hardcore Holly come in with Mordecai destroying Holly, pounding him into the arena. Luther Reigns breaks it up as Angle tells Heyman to make sure Undertaker takes Cena out tonight.

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn

Suzuki is an evil Japanese character who went absolutely nowhere (winning a Smackdown tag title would count as nowhere around this time) in his tenure with WWE. He makes his geisha girl Hiroko remove his robe and we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start until both guys start firing off strikes. Kenzo takes him down with chops and a knee drop for two as the fans chant USA.

Billy fights out of a front facelock and drops Suzuki with a right hand but it too winded after two minutes of work to follow up. Gunn hits a Stinger Splash and a HORRIBLE looking Fameasser (Kenzo landed like he was doing a pushup) but Hiroko throws powder in Billy’s eyes for the DQ.

Kenzo hits his lame claw leg sweep post match.

A barely covered Sable hits on the American flag clad Torrie Wilson. Sable threatens to take Torrie out in the hot tub on Sunday. Oh and the outfit makes Torrie look fat. Torrie: “At least it doesn’t make me look easy.” A catfight breaks out until old men break it up. This would lead to a lesbian angle.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL which saw Eddie keep the title by DQ at Judgment Day, necessitating a rematch with a bullrope involved.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Non-title of course. Reigns is a power guy with a good look but not a ton else. Luther shoves Eddie into the corner to start and a gorilla press scares the champion out of his wits. Eddie messes with Reigns’ mind by switching arms instead of going into a test of strength but an Angle distraction (Angle popped out of a wheelchair despite having his leg in a big cast) lets Reigns take over again.

A butterfly suplex puts Eddie down and we hit the bearhug. Reigns gets bored of holding Eddie in the air and switches to a reverse waistlock. Eddie gets out with a jawbreaker and drops Reigns with some elbows to the jaw. There are the Three Amigos but the referee gets bumped. Luther clotheslines Eddie down and hits a quick powerslam as Angle comes in for a very fast two count.

Reigns goes to get the belt but Eddie hits him low and cracks him in the head with the title. In classic Eddie style, he throws the belt to Angle and falls down as the referee gets up. A frog splash should be enough for the pin but JBL comes in for the DQ. Why? Did we really need to protect Luther Reigns?

Rating: C-. Just a match but the ending continues to be confusing. Luther Reigns getting pinned by the WWE Champion isn’t a devastating loss and JBL doesn’t change anything by running in, so why not just have him do it after the pin? Reigns was nothing special out there but he was fine as an intimidating looking bodyguard.

JBL beats up Eddie but the champion gets the bullrope away and takes JBL down.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Both guys are in the fourway for the US Title on Sunday. Rene is very French and that’s about all there is to his character. Booker T, the fourth man in the match on Sunday, comes out to do commentary. Rob takes him down with a headlock but gets countered into a headscissors. Rene comes back with something that we miss due to the camera looking at Booker as Booker threatens Rene’s dog.

Rob kicks Rene to the floor and hits the spinning kick off the apron to Rene’s back for two back inside. Rene comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own before dropping a knee for the same. Rob kicks Dupree in the face again as Booker talks trash about Cena. Rolling Thunder gets two for Van Dam so Booker makes a knock knock joke about RVD. Dupree pulls a buckle off and the distraction prevents the referee from counting a small package. Rob drives shoulders in the corner but misses a charge into the exposed buckle to give Rene the pin.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring with the fourway on Sunday sounding like one of the least interesting matches I can remember in a long time. Dupree is as generic of a heel as you can get and Van Dam had it in slow motion tonight. Nothing to this match for the most part and it just killed time.

Rundown of the PPV card.

John Cena vs. The Undertaker

Writing that makes me smile. The title isn’t on the line of course. Undertaker pounds Cena into the corner to start but charges into a boot, allowing Cena to come back with big right hands of his own. Cena says brings it on and fires off more right hands, only to have Undertaker stop him with a single punch. John pounds on Undertaker but gets pulled to the floor to give the Dead Man a breather. A suplex back in gets two on Cena and Old School gets the same.

Undertaker grabs Cena’s face for a change of style before the jumping clothesline is good for two. Cena escapes the tombstone and low bridges Taker out to the floor before knocking him into the barricade. The fans are getting into this as we take a break. Back with Cena clotheslining Undertaker over the top and keeping the pressure on outside. Another clothesline sends Undertaker over the barricade but he comes back with a hard knee to the sterum.

Cena reverses a whip into the steps and Undertaker’s arm is cut open. John dives off the apron but gets caught in midair and rammed into the post to keep up the physical pace. The legdrop across the apron brings Cena back to the floor before heading back inside for….an armbar? Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Cena comes back with right hands, only to be elbowed in the jaw to stop him cold.

Undertaker goes into boxer mode to knock Cena for a loop before busting out a superplex for two. The Dead Man is confused by Cena kicking out over and over so we hit the chinlock. Cena fights up and punches Undertaker in the knee to get a breather, only to get kicked in the face to stop yet another comeback. A spinebuster of all things puts Undertaker down but Cena can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Cena taking over with a shoulder and hard clothesline for two. Cena goes up for a top rope ax handle to set up the Throwback (flipping faceplant) and Shuffle for two. Undertaker escapes the AA and connects with a big boot and legdrop (BROTHER) for his own two count.

The referee gets bumped before Cena scores with another clothesline. Undertaker sits up but walks into the FU for no count as the referee is still down. Cena checks on the referee but turns around into a chokeslam for still no count. Undertaker embraces the evil and blasts Cena with the chain before tombstoning him for the pin.

Rating: A-. Gah that stupid story hurt what was an otherwise great match. At least Undertaker had Cena beaten before he used the chain, but this could have been a match of the year candidate if it had ended closer to clean. This was Cena showing that he was going to be a main eventer one day in the near future and he came off looking great.

Heyman comes out holding the Urn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event is a classic but everything else is a mess. The midcard was a disaster around this time and it wasn’t going to get any better for a long time. People like Dupree and Suzuki just didn’t have anything to offer and thankfully they wouldn’t be pushed for very long. Cena was clearly the future but we had to put up with Undertaker vs. Dudleys before we could get there.

Here’s Great American Bash if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/12/19/great-american-bash-2004-this-is-the-prefered-method-of-torture-in-19-countries/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show of the year and we close things out with the Blue Guys. As long as it’s not Blue Meanie I’m cool with that. Anyway tonight we should get some advancement in the three way world title feud. I hope they don’t make Bryan look like a joke in this that can’t get in any offense and has to escape with whatever kind of win he can get. Those title reigns completely defeat the purpose of being a champion. Then again so does MITB in general but whatever. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Barrett vs. Orton. Their match tonight is the main event and it’s falls count anywhere. I’m curious to see how this ends, which I’m sure you’ve heard about already.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is the number 2012, since I’ll be writing 2011 for at least two more weeks.

Here’s Booker coming out to do commentary. You know, his job. I wonder if he gets his pay docked for being late like this. He talks about how this has been a great year for him, starting with the Rumble and then joining the commentary booth. Then on Monday he beat Cody Rhodes and that’s all because of the fans. He goes for his catchphrase but here’s Cody to interrupt him.

Cody makes fun of local spots teams and the Indy 500 because that’s what heels do. No seriously, it’s a fine way to get the crowd booing you so why not do it? Rhodes talks about his year, ranging from being injured to beating Mysterio to winning the IC Title. Then he took a washed up announcer and pushed him to regain some of his former glory. Booker says that when he beat Cody on Monday, he wasn’t that washed up. If Cody respected the business, he’d be congratulating Booker right now.

The champ actually agrees and says that he doesn’t want to come off as some kind of bitter jerk because he’s better than that. He actually congratulates Booker and offers a handshake. Booker shakes it and gets in his face a bit but turns to leave. Cody says of course now this is all over. Booker isn’t sure what he means by that, but Cody says the fairy tale is over and Booker is nothing but a nostalgia act. If Booker keeps competing, his skills will be exposed as being gone. If he goes back to announcing, he’ll be exposed as an illiterate moron. In short, Booker is a joke.

Cue….Dustin Rhodes? He comes out to the Goldust music but he’s in a suit and no makeup. Dustin says he loves his brother very much but Cody is going about this all wrong. Booker is someone that Cody should respect because it was Booker that inspired Dustin to face his demons and make a comeback. Dustin gets the idea of building your own legacy, but don’t do it at Booker’s expense. Cody knows better than this.

Cody chuckles at this and says that as soon as Booker stopped teaming with him, Dustin fell back into those demons and then into utter obscurity. Booker gets in Cody’s face and asks for a third match with Cody since it’s one apiece at the moment. He wants to do it right now but Cody says we’ll do it next week. Booker says that next week it’ll be a celebration when he becomes the new Intercontinental Champion. Booker leaves and Cody beats Dustin down. Booker makes the save but Cody is long gone. Not a bad opening segment.

Tonight’s main event: it’s a tag team match!

Ted DiBiase vs. Jinder Mahal

If DiBiase is supposed to be this everyman now, shouldn’t he lose the I’m Rich theme song? They exchange quick control to start but Mahal keeps his, hitting a Vader Bomb knee drop for two. The crowd isn’t exactly thrilled by DiBiase vs. Legs Mahal here. Ted gets in a few shots to slow Mahal down but tweeks his knee coming off the top. A Downward Spiral (so fed up with that move) sets up the Camel Clutch and Dibiase surprisinly taps at 2:50. Didn’t see that one coming.

Teddy is talking about his New Year’s Eve party tomorrow night when Aksana comes in. More flirtations are made and Drew McIntyre comes in. He’s been signed back to Smackdown and Teddy is willing to forgive him. Drew isn’t going to get paid what he was getting earlier when his career has fallen apart. He gets Big Zeke tonight and if he doesn’t win, his job might be in jeopardy. Drew talks about the time he made Teddy beg for mercy and says that’s nothing compared to what he’ll do to Jackson.

Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn vs. Natalya/Tamina

Tamina looks better with straight hair. The lack of JTG helps a lot also. Tamina vs. Kaitlyn starts us off. The evil ones take over on Kaitlyn and beat her down. Something like a Michinoku Driver by Natalya does nothing here as Kaitlyn makes the tag about two seconds later. Alicia hits the axe kick on Nattie for the pin at 1:34. Why do they bother with these matches? I honestly don’t know.

Tamina beats up Natalya post match, including a Superfly Splash.

Don’t be a bully.

Raw ReBound eats up some time.

We get a standard recap of Show vs. Otunga on Monday with Henry coming in as well. Bryan made the save.

Speaking of Bryan, he’s in the back talking with AJ (who looks GREAT tonight in a black cut off top and jeans) about how he saved Big Show. Show comes up and asks to talk to Bryan alone. Show says that giants don’t really need to be saved. Teddy comes in and says that the tag match main event won’t be happening tonight as Otunga wants a rematch with Show. Henry will be in his corner. Bryan implies he’ll have Show’s back but doesn’t exactly say it.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

I think there’s new music for Gabriel but I’m not 100% sure. Hunico comes out on a lowrider bicycle with his new bodyguard who used to be in FCW and is named Camacho here. I don’t remember his FCW name. Further investigations (as in I looked it up on Wikipedia) says that his name there is Donny Marlow and his dad is more famous as Meng or Haku.

Cole says he has a lot of knowledge about lowrider bicycles. Hunico gets sent to the floor and Gabriel misses a dive. Cole gives us the history of lowrider bikes and all I can think of is….why? There’s something about Eddie Munster mentioned in there. Justin misses a springboard something coming back in but hits a powerbomb style move to take over. Hunico breaks up the 450 and brings Gabriel down so that the Swanton can end this at 1:48. This was nothing and Camacho didn’t get involved at all.

Hunico/Camacho hit something like Cryme Tyme’s old finisher to leave Gabriel on the mat (Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo).

Big Show vs. David Otunga

If nothing else we get the big knockout punch from last week which still looks great. Otunga has really long arms. Henry gets his own entrance. Show beats him down as Otunga tries to get in whatever offense he can. David bails to the floor where Henry gives him something resembling a pep talk. Back in a shoulder block puts Otunga down as does a corner splash. Henry gets on the apron to distract from the chokeslam and Otunga hits a chop block and DDT for two. Henry goes to get in the ring but Bryan pops up with a belt shot to stop him. The big punch knocks Otunga out cold at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here and that’s about it. Bryan coming out didn’t really mean anything or add anything as it wasn’t like Show needed help. Also it doesn’t help that he looks like a mosquito who keeps running in and hitting people then running. Nothing to see here but Otunga can sell a punch really well.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Drew McIntyre

Jackson has some hair now. We get Drew’s full entrance and I miss his song. Big Zeke controls with power for a few moments but Drew takes over pretty quickly. Jackson beats him down more and this match isn’t going to last long. A big boot by Drew gets two. Northern lights suplex gets two. Jackson backdrops him and the fans don’t care. Side slam gets two for the power man. Torture Rack is countered and Drew gets a boot up in the corner. It gets two even with his feet on the ropes. Drew argues with the ropes and Jackson rolls him up (with a big handful of tights) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D-. Terribly boring match here and I have no idea what the point of it was. Drew has fallen so far in the last year and a half that it’s almost scary. I don’t get the point in having Jackson use the tights but maybe it’ll be addressed in the future. Jackson is pretty worthless as he isn’t interesting at all and now he has to cheat to win matches over Drew Freaking McIntyre? Not a good match at all.

Video on Sheamus. I think they aired this months ago. I remember the rock version of Written In My Face.

Drew yells about the tights in the back and Teddy says he can’t stand losers. He’s a ticked off Peanut here. Old school fans will get that joke.

Here’s Sheamus for a little chat. “What’s the crack Indianapolis?” Is that an Irish thing? He wants to talk about the future and by that he means the Royal Rumble. The winner gets a title match at Wrestlemania. He doesn’t care who he eliminates because he’s going to win the Rumble. Cue Hornswoggle to get on my nerves. Horny is going to enter the Rumble as well because miracles like Bryan beating Big Show can happen. He says he’ll win (only saying his own name). Sheamus admires that and gives us some Irish folk lore or whatever you want to call it. He gets all mean but is only playing.

Cue Heath Slater who is a breath of air. I can’t stand Horny at all. Slater mentions guys like Bushwhacker Luke and the Brooklyn Brawler, who fall into the same category as Horny: the guy that says they’ll win and is a joke. Slater says he’s the greatest redhead on Smackdown and the only reason Horny won the battle royal was because Sheamus didn’t want to squash a leprechaun. Slater doesn’t have that problem though. Sheamus gets in his face and….sings Don’t Stop Believin. Ok then. Sheamus says he sees Slater as more of an R. Kelly kind of guy, because he believes he can fly, and there goes Slater. That was…yeah.

Sheamus vs. Heath Slater

Kind of awkward here as Sheamus was celebrating after throwing Slater out and we went to a break. Back and they’re having a match. Sheamus pounds him down and works on the arm and then throws Heath to the apron. Slater slaps him and that was very stupid, so here are ten forearms to the chest for his efforts. Sheamus keeps countering him but Slater drop toeholds him into the middle buckle. Slater gets him onto the mat and hooks a chinlock. The counter to that triggers Sheamus’ comeback which consists of forearms to the back, a top rope shoulder and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:45 shown.

Rating: D+. The Rumble is probably the best thing that could possibly happen to Sheamus at this point. He doesn’t have anything to do on Smackdown as it was looking like he was the next opponent for Henry but then Henry got hurt so they had to go to the Bryan reign. Since then he’s just been beating up random people without breaking a sweat, which can only get you so far.

Bryan is talking to Teddy when Show comes in. He’s getting annoyed at Bryan for always being there. Bryan wants a thank you for being there to bail Show out. They start growling at each other and we’re told that it’s Show vs. Bryan for the title next week. Show laughs a lot at that. Bryan says even if he loses, his reign lasted longer than 45 seconds.

Whoever they are, they’re still coming. I’m kind of curious about that but I’m expecting a letdown.

We hype the three big title matches spread over the next week of shows.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Falls count anywhere. Slugout to start and Orton hammers him into the corner. Out to the floor and Barrett goes into the steps for two. With Barrett’s head on the steps, a stomp gets two. Usually that would crack a skull but in wrestling it only gets two. That’s why I love this stuff. RKO is countered and Orton goes into the post as we take a break.

Back with them in the ring and Barrett hammering away. He hits that running boot to Orton as Orton is sitting on the middle rope which gets two on the floor. Big boot in the ring gets two and we hit the chinlock. Middle rope elbow gets the same. Back to the chinlock as this has been a lot more basic than I was expecting. Orton gets in the powerslam but Barrett escapes the elevated DDT by heading to the floor.

Orton throws him over the table and they go into the crowd. They go into the back and Orton goes through a table. Randy sends him into an anvil case as Barrett tries to escape down the hall. The referee went down earlier so he’s not here. They fight into an elevator and we actually cut to a security camera feed in the elevator.

They brawl out into what looks like a corporate area and a cameraman has to run to catch up to them. The camera goes through a door and we hear shouting and a crash. He catches up to them and Barrett is standing at the top of a flight of steps. Orton is laying at the bottom in a shape that probably isn’t that comfortable. The camera looks down at him as he can barely move and we go off the air.

Rating: C. Pretty boring main event for the most part but once they got to the wild brawl it wasn’t that bad. Word is Orton has a legit bad back so this is the angle that they’re going with to write him off TV for awhile. That’s fine and not having a pin works here because there’s no point in having a pin with that being the closing shot of the show. Not terrible and the ending did the job it was supposed to do.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t huge on this show. The point of it was to get Orton off TV for awhile and that worked out pretty well. Barrett looks great and we have a world title match set for next week. I’m honestly not sure what they’re going to do with Bryan as the way he won the title makes him look like a fluke and there’s a chance they’ll pull it off of him with a Show heel turn. Either way, not a horrible show but nothing at all worth going out of your way to see.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Ted DiBiase – Camel Clutch
Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn b. Natalya/Tamina – Axe Kick to Natalya
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Big Show b. David Otunga – WMD
Drew McIntyre b. Ezekiel Jackson – Rollup
Sheamus b. Heath Slater – Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest

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Smackdown
Date: December 27, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the final blue show of the year and I don’t remember anything being announced on Raw. The main story from Monday was Big E. Langston/Cena/Punk running off the Shield after being them for the DQ, meaning it’s payback time tonight. We’re getting closer to the Rumble and have less than 100 days until Wrestlemania so the times are getting exciting. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to get things going. After looking at a clip of the end of Raw, Cena says the last Smackdown of the year is even more important than that. Tonight the WWE Universe is going to ring in the new year so we need NOISE. They have to have fun tonight because after the new year everyone has to worry about new year’s resolutions.

Cena would like to give a bear hug to a real bear or star in a 1-800-Fella commercial or land the lead role in a musical production of No Holds Barred (dead silence on that line) or make a hip hop album with Great Khali (lukewarm) or reboot an animated Manimal series with Michael Cole in the lead role or, and only if he has time, get started early on his XFL fantasy team (nice chuckle).

There’s one other thing he wants to do: gain forty pounds. Luckily for him he doesn’t have to wait for the new year because the WWE World Heavyweight Championship weighs about forty pounds and he has a rematch clause. If Orton is listening he can get out here right now but instead here’s Shield. They surround the ring and easily take Cena down but here’s Mark Henry for the save. When that doesn’t work, Big E. Langston comes out for the real save to clear the ring. Kane comes out on stage and makes three singles matches for tonight: Langston vs. Ambrose (non-title), Reigns vs. Henry and Rollins vs. Cena.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Before the match we get a clip of the Family throwing Bryan off a ledge last week. The Usos send the monsters to the floor and Jey takes Rowan down with a dive. Jimmy gets two off a rollup to Harper and a Whisper in the Wind gets the same. Rowan makes a blind tag and takes Jimmy’s head off with a clothesline. A splash is enough to pin Jimmy in just 1:10.

Post match Bray gives Jey Sister Abigail.

Renee Young asks Randy Orton if he has any new year’s resolutions. Orton says he’s beaten everyone else in the company so maybe he’ll win the Royal Rumble so he can spend Wrestlemania in a skybox writing his Hall of Fame introduction speech. Ziggler comes up and says he’ll shut Orton up tonight. Orton promises an RKO until Kane comes in to make the match for later. Ziggler leaves and Kane says backstage must be a safe zone, but out there anything goes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Antonio Cesaro

Colter’s sign this week: “Press 1 for English, press 2 for INS.” Cesaro is now residing in the US. This is fallout from Main Event when Cody went after Cesaro for interfering in a Swagger vs. Goldust match. Cody grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about Kane being the eyes and ears of the Authority tonight. Cody takes Cesaro to the mat and then out to the floor where Goldust gives Antonio a deep breath.

Back in and Cesaro punches Cody in the jaw and kicks him out to the floor. After a Goldust staredown leads nowhere, Cesaro takes Rhodes back inside for a pummeling in the corner. Cody quickly breaks out of a chinlock and comes back with a front suplex for two but a Swagger distraction lets Cesaro get in a cheap shot and a rollup for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Another match that changes nothing as we wait for the title match that may never come. I’m not a fan of champions losing but at least this was a singles match instead of yet another tag loss. On the good side though, Cesaro getting a pin in a singles match is a nice thing to see and hopefully the first of many.

Prime Time Players vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

I refuse to refer to them as “Rybaxel.” Ryback pounds on Young to start but Darren scores with a right hand to the jaw and a dropkick to the knee. Off to Titus for the front suplex to Darren onto Ryback for no cover. A hard shoulder puts Ryback down but Axel gets in a knee to O’Neil’s back to take him down. Curtis chokes him in the corner (“BARK LIKE A DOG!”) before it’s quickly back to Ryback for a front facelock.

The heels take turns on O’Neil in the corner with Axel slapping him in the back of the head, only to run into a big boot. Darren gets the tag and scores with an overhead belly to belly on Axel before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Everything breaks down and Ryback is clotheslined to the floor, allowing Young to pin Axel at 4:51.

Rating: D+. The underlying problems with the tag division continues: it doesn’t matter if you build up teams if the teams are boring and keep trading meaningless wins with no advancement in sight. This match doesn’t change anything for either team and doesn’t move the Players up towards a title program, at least not anytime soon.

We get a clip from the 50 Years of WWE DVD focusing on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Another non-title match. Ziggler now has a streak of pink hair which leaves JBL stunned. Dolph gets taken into the corner but comes back with a shot to the jaw to send the champion out to the floor. Back in and Orton headlocks him down and takes Ziggler’s head off with a clothesline. Dolph comes back with right hands in the corner and the big jumping elbow for two. I guess the ten elbow drops spot is long gone.

Orton pulls Ziggler face first into the middle buckle to take over again and walks around very slowly. He walks around too long though and Ziggler gets in a dropkick, sending Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Orton stomping away on a fallen Ziggler. Randy puts on a reverse chinlock for a bit but Ziggler gets out with a jawbreaker. Dolph pounds away in the corner and scores with a neckbreaker before getting two off a neckbreaker.

The Fameasser misses but Ziggler avoids the powerslam and gets two off a jumping DDT. Dolph gets crotched on the top but breaks up a superplex attempt. A bad looking missile dropkick gets two and Orton is sent shoulder first into the post (same thing Orton did to him during a break). A bulldog gets two for Ziggy but Orton pokes him in the eye and RKOs Ziggler for the pin at 13:20.

Rating: B-. I like the ending with Orton taking the easy way out again, just like Cena accused him of doing leading up to TLC. The match was the usual good stuff from these guys as they’ve shown that they have chemistry. Ziggler getting to show off a little bit is much better than seeing him in nothing matches against Fandango.

Post match Orton takes Ziggler outside and gives him the Elevated DDT off the barricade.

Shield says they’ll win all their matches tonight. Cena vs. Rollins sounds promising.

Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow

JBL wants to know why there was a good Santa and a bad Santa on Monday. Cole: “That’s the way the story was written?” JBL: “WHAT KIND OF AN ANSWER IS THAT???” Bryan fires off some kicks in the corner to start followed by some knees to the ribs to put Sandow down. Damien comes back with some forearms to the back and sends Daniel out to the floor. The Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two and we hit the crossface chickenwing. Back up and Bryan hits the running clothesline and dropkick in the corner to set up the top rope hurricanrana. The YES Kicks set up the running knee for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win here for Bryan in the kind of matches I wouldn’t mind seeing more of. Well, more of as long as the opponents change every now and then and we don’t have to sit through the same pairing every week. Sandow doesn’t lose anything here as he’s not ready to beat someone on Bryan’s level so there’s nothing bad in this whole thing.

Post match Bray appears on stage and says he realizes that Bryan is the one the people want. That means Bray has to destroy him.

Dean Ambrose vs. Big E. Langston

Neither title is on the line. In addition to the other Shield members, Cena and Henry are both at ringside as well. Langston shoves Ambrose into the corner to start and drives shoulders into the ribs but gets clotheslined down. Dean pounds away with rights and lefts on the mat before hitting the running dropkick against the ropes.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ambrose goes up top, only to be slammed down like a ham sandwich being thrown off a cliff. A belly to belly puts Ambrose down again but he sends Langston to the floor for a standoff. No brawling ensues and Ambrose throws Langston back inside, only to have the big man run Dean over, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 2:46. That was close. I thought they wouldn’t have Ambrose job clean again before the year was out.

Reigns comes in for the showdown with Langston but Henry moves Big E. out of the way.

Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns wants a test of strength to start but headbutts Henry instead. A hard clothesline sends Reigns to the floor and a headbutt from Henry puts him down. Back in and a big boot to the jaw puts Reigns down as the slow pace continues. Roman snaps Henry’s throat across the top rope and gets two off the Superman Punch. We hit a chinlock on Henry for a bit but he comes back with the JYD headbutts. Reigns will have nothing to do with that jive turkey nonsense and lifts Henry up for a Samoan drop. Another Superman Punch and the spear are good for the pin on Mark at 4:01.

Rating: D. Reigns looked good but he had to work through a lot of Mark Henry suck. It’s a good sign that he’s pinning former world champions clean in four minutes though. There’s a BIG future for Reigns and the fact that these wins are becoming more and more natural are telling signs for him.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

There’s a lot of time left for this. Cena quickly takes him down and works on a hammerlock. Back up and Cena sends Seth to the floor with a hiptoss for a meeting with Shield. Back in and Rollins gets in some shots to knock Cena into the corner. Rollins blocks a bulldog and drops a knee for two before putting on a cobra clutch of all things. Cena tries to fight out and gets caught in a one arm camel clutch, only to fight up and drive Rollins into the corner to escape.

Rollins gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging John and gets two off a neckbreaker as we take a break. Back with Rollins firing off right hands to the jaw. Cena is sent into the corner but he reverses a whip into the corner to put both guys down again. John tries a comeback but gets caught in a quick Downward Spiral into the middle buckle. Rollins does You Can’t See Me but Cena counters a neckbreaker into the ProtoBomb and hits the Shuffle. Rollins flips out of the AA and hits a Buff Blockbuster (that’s a finisher that needs to be pulled out of mothballs) for two.

Cena gets taken down by a Stinger Splash but avoids the second attempt. He grabs a half nelson and lifts Rollins up before spinning into what was supposed to be a neckbreaker. Cena landed a foot or so away from Rollins but luckily the move could have passed for a half nelson slam. Rollins kicks out at two so Cena goes up, only to get knocked down to the mat.

The standing Sliced Bread #2 gets another near fall for Seth but Cena comes back with a Batista Bomb (not gimmick infringement just yet) for two. Cena tries to pull Rollins away from the ropes but Seth lands on his feet again and hits a jumping enziguri for a VERY close two. Rollins gets the same off a top rope knee to the face and the frustration sets in. The Black Out (running curb stomp) is countered in the STF but Rollins is into the ropes before too much damage can be done.

Ambrose tries to come in but gets picked off by Langston before he can make any contact. Dean is thrown over the announce table but Reigns hits a running clothesline to drop Langston. Henry throws Reigns onto Ambrose as Cena rolls through Rollins’ cross body into the AA for the pin at 17:40.

Rating: B+. I was digging the heck out of this match and I was so glad that the ending wasn’t a DQ. Rollins looked outstanding in there as he continues to prove his worth once the Shield breaks up. I could see him being the next Kofi Kingston, having awesome matches with anyone they put him out there with but never getting the big break. That’s not a bad career to have at all.

Overall Rating: B-. This took some time to get going and the main event was by far the best part of the show. The first half of the show is only ok but the Orton vs. Ziggler match along with Rollins vs. Cena more than make up for it. This was using the old formula of wrestling on Smackdown and that’s what was needed after a more entertainment based Raw. It’s a nice way to close out the year and hopefully a good way to get us into 2014.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Splash to Jimmy

Antonio Cesaro b. Cody Rhodes – Rollup

Prime Time Players b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Rollup to Axel

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Daniel Bryan b. Damien Sandow – Running knee

Big E. Langston b. Dean Ambrose – Big Ending

Roman Reigns b. Mark Henry – Spear

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – AA

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Smackdown
Date: December 20, 2013
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re getting closer to the end of the year and the main story coming out of Monday is the potential for a three way feud between Cena, Orton and Bryan. Daniel had the champion beaten but Orton cheated to get out of the match, drawing in Cena for the save. It should be interesting to hear Bryan’s thoughts on Cena running in to help him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Monday with Cena cutting Orton off and the Authority giving Orton a match with Daniel Bryan, because the last few months of the Authority trying to crush Bryan are completely forgotten. The match recap doesn’t do it justice.

Here’s Orton to brag about becoming undisputed champion some more. He only has the WWE Championship this week. Orton says the Authority rewarded him with a match against Daniel Bryan. Randy beat him then beat John Cena when he tries to interfere because he just doesn’t care. This brings out Cena as they’re moving fast tonight. Orton says Cena needs to respect him but Cena says he’s here to keep Orton from looking like a fool. If Orton doesn’t want to be a champion he should get out.

Orton is the center of the WWE and everyone is going to be hunting him. It’s up to Orton to determine how he wants to be remembered and on Monday he was a giant coward. Orton says he did what he had to do to win, but Cena points out the truth: Bryan won by DQ. Cena spent weeks telling us that Orton always runs away and takes the easy way out, hoping that Orton would come to fight at TLC. That’s exactly what happened, but the next night Orton was taking the easy way out again.

Randy says Bryan isn’t getting another rematch but here’s Daniel with something to say. He understands Orton is too afraid to give him a rematch because when Bryan beats him, the myth that Randy Orton is the best comes tumbling down. On top of that, Bryan knows that when Cena beats Orton for the title, he’ll get the shot he deserves. Orton says that’s never going to happen because the Authority won’t allow it. The fans don’t like that idea but here’s Shield to interrupt some more. Orton bails to the floor but here’s Punk to even the sides before Shield gets to the ring. Vickie comes out and makes one heck of a six man for later.

Jack Swagger vs. Big E. Langston

Colter has a sign saying Deport Santa Claus because he’s that awesome. This is non-title of course and was set up by the tag match from Raw. Zeb sits in on commentary and talks about confusing Santa Claus with Santa Anna since they were both singing Feliz Navidad. Langston runs Jack over to start but Swagger takes him into the corner to take over. A clothesline gets two and Langston gets caught in a front facelock. Big E. fights out of the hold and throws Swagger down, setting up the Warrior Splash for two. Henry runs Cesaro over for no apparent reason and the distraction lets Big E. hit the Big Ending for the pin at 2:54.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

AJ sits in on commentary and we get a clip of that great superkick to Nikki from Raw. Brie hits a quick cross body for two and sends Tamina out to the floor before slapping Snuka in the face. Tamina slams Brie down and kicks her in the ribs a few times. A knee drop gets the same as AJ wants to know why she has to keep defending against the same girls over and over. Cole asks if Tamina could get a shot but AJ says Tamina knows where her bread is buttered. “And she should know because I make a mean breakfast.”

Brie comes back with a running knee to the face and a middle rope dropkick. Cole talks about Brie getting engaged on the season finale of Total Divas, giving AJ this great jab: “She’s engaged? That should make her #1 contender!” As a follow up Cole asks if AJ has been asked to be part of season two. “No. I was hugged as a child and don’t need the attention.” Tamina comes back with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees, giving Brie the rollup pin at 3:04.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special outside of that superkick but AJ’s commentary made this far more entertaining. The line about making Tamina breakfast got a laugh out of me and everything she said about the reality show is true. Why should she keep defending the title against the same girls she’s beaten time after time? Some of the comments she made could be planting seeds for Tamina to turn on her as well which makes things more interesting.

Brie shoves AJ down post match.

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is quickly sent over the top rope, followed by a nice flip dive by the masked man. Back inside and a high cross body gets two on McIntyre but he throws Sin down. A knee drop has Cara in trouble but he jumps over Drew in the corner and armdrags him down. I can’t imagine how badly the original Sin Cara would have botched that. A handspring elbow gets two on McIntyre before a kick to the head sets up a Swanton Bomb for the pin at 2:05. Just a step above a squash here. JBL gets in his line about how it’s like a new Sin Cara.

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and drives shoulders into Brodus’ ample gut. A clothesline drops Clay but he avoids the backsplash. Clay hits a pair of splashes in the corner and a running splash gets two. Another splash gets no cover and Brodus does the dinosaur claws dance. Cue the Funkadactyls with Xavier Woods for the distraction and, say it with me, Tensai rolls Brodus up for the pin at 1:45. I have no idea how this is supposed to help either guy but I’m sure it will be explained to me later.

Tensai and Woods beat up Brodus post match, setting up a dance party.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Wyatt Family

Non-title again, meaning you can probably pencil in the brothers for a loss. Goldust and Erick get things going but Rowan doesn’t move for the deep breath. Instead Goldust punches the mask off of him, only to get shoulder blocked down. Goldust comes back with some right hands, sending Rowan off to the corner for the tag to Harper. Off to Cody who brings Harper into the champions’ corner before bringing Goldust right back in.

Luke takes over with some uppercuts to the jaw and drags Goldust out to the corner for the tag to Rowan. Erick is at the top of his weak offensive game here with choking, stomping and right hands. Harper comes back in with an uppercut for two with that disturbing look on his face. Goldust fights back but misses a cross body, sending him out to the floor and right in front of Wyatt as we take a break.

Back with Harper Gator rolling Goldust as Cole asks about Sister Abigail. Rowan comes back in for a claw hold and a big toss across the ring. Goldust finally gets an elbow up in the corner to stop a charging Rowan but Harper breaks up the hot tag attempt. A DDT puts Harper down a second later and there’s the tag off to Rhodes.

Cody speeds things up with a springboard missile dropkick followed by the Disaster Kick to Harper. The moonsault press gets two but Rowan makes the save. Goldust sends him to the floor and dives off the apron to take him down, but Wyatt hits a quick big boot to Goldust’s jaw. Harper picks Cody up by the ears (this guy really is evil) and takes his head off with the discus lariat for the pin at 11:04 shown of 14:34.

Rating: C+. The losing streak is here and there’s nothing that can be done about it. These recurring ideas are all the proof you need that a change in the booking is desperately needed. Earlier tonight we had the distraction into the rollup and now we have the losing streak. That’s roughly 40% of all the ideas they have and they used them in less than half an hour.

Post match Bray leans upside down in the corner as he goes after Cody, drawing out Bryan with a chair to take out the Family. He takes Bray down and pounds away but has to fight off Rowan which allows Bray to escape.

Damien Sandow doesn’t like Christmas. It’s nothing but a bunch of adults asking for stuff they don’t need, children asking for things they haven’t earned, and filthy houses with ugly decorations. That’s why he’s going to cancel Christmas this coming Monday, but he’s cut off by….Miz, who I thought was a heel. Miz gives him the “really” treatment and says he knows Santa. They celebrate Santa where he comes from and Sandow couldn’t carry Santa’s sack.

The Miz vs. Damien Sandow

Miz takes him into the corner to start and scores with some clotheslines. Sandow tries to get a boot up in the corner but Miz wraps it around the ropes and kicks at the knee. The Figure Four goes on but Sandow gets to the rope. A rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Miz at 1:28. I have no idea what the point of this match was as the promo could have done the same thing. Mark Henry fighting to save Christmas from the Latin speaking Sandow Claus is going to be glorious though.

Ad for the History of WWE DVD.

Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango

Kofi gets the jobber entrance as JBL calls Fandango a male Shakira. “His hips don’t lie.” Cole: “….oh God.” Fandango grabs a headlock to start but Kofi comes back with a dropkick. A clothesline gets two on Kingston and Fandango pounds some elbows into Kofi’s chest. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Kofi avoids a middle rope knee drop. Kofi comes back with some chops and a dropkick followed by the Boom Drop. Fandango bails to the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise and trips Kofi to send him to the mat. The guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D. I guess it’s time to push Fandango again and we’re going with Miz as a face again. Fandango has potential and thankfully his character has evolved past the point of just dancing and saying his name. Kofi continues to be in the same spot on the card as always and he’ll still be over no matter what happens to him.

The Wyatts jump Bryan in the back, presumably taking him out of the six man later. Bray drops to his knees and says “ashes ashes, we all fall down.” The Family throws him off a ledge which appeared to be a few feet high.

Shield vs. CM Punk/John Cena

Still works for me. Punk and Ambrose get things going with CM going after the arm. Ambrose is driven into the corner and it’s off to Cena for a shoulder block. The bulldog puts Dean down again and it’s back to Punk who gets two off a middle rope elbow. We take a break and come back with Reigns holding Cena for a kick from Rollins. Back to Ambrose to pepper Cena with with right hands but John belly to back suplexes him to get a breather.

The rest doesn’t last long though as Reigns comes in with headbutts and a lot of shouting. There’s the awesome Superman Punch before it’s off to Rollins for a forearm to Cena’s face. Cena avoids a charge in the corner but rolls towards Shield, allowing Rollins to tag out to Ambrose. Dean hits a dropkick up against the ropes before it’s back to Rollins for some right hands in the corner.

Cena is sat on the top rope but headbutts Rollins down to escape a superplex. Ambrose comes back in but walks into a tornado DDT. There’s the hot tag to Punk who takes Ambrose down with a leg lariat and hits a running knee to Rollins’ chin. Seth rolls to the floor for a suicide dive followed by the running knee in the corner back inside. The Macho Elbow looks to set up the GTS but Ambrose breaks it up. Punk drops of them with the neckbreaker/DDT combo for two on Rollins. Reigns makes the save and Shield triple teams Punk for the DQ at 9:48 shown of 13:18.

Rating: C+. Good match as you would expect from these guys but the ending was lame. Cena sold the heck out of that beating by staying down as long as he did but there might have been more done to him on the floor. This keeps the Punk vs. Shield going which could keep tying him into the Authority.

Cena comes in for the save but Reigns hits the spear to take him down. Punk is about to take the Triple Bomb but Cena makes another save. The superheroes are in trouble but here’s Big E. Langston for the real save. Ambrose and Rollins are sent to the floor and we get the showdown between Langston and Reigns but Punk gets a chair, sending Roman out to the floor. Shield backs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Langston interfering to end the show is a really interesting idea as his NXT work has shown how capable he is of being a monster face. Unfortunately that’s about all that held my interest tonight other than AJ’s commentary. There’s just nothing here of interest with a bunch of squashes complete with overdone finishes plus Miz being a face again for no apparent reason. Not an interesting show here but it wasn’t the worst two hours ever.

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Smackdown
Date: December 13, 2013
Location: Rose Garden Arena, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before TLC, meaning this is the last night with two world champions. It’s hard to say what we’ll get tonight but given that this is the blue show, I’ll take a guess and say it ends in a big tag match. Other than that, maybe we’ll get a tables, ladder or chairs match added to the Tables, Ladders and Chairs show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the ending segment from Raw with Cena calling out Orton for living on his reputation and the huge brawl which seems to plant seeds for Wrestlemania. I still don’t think Shawn is getting back in the ring though.

The belts are hanging above the ring and there are probably fifteen ladders and tables set up around the ring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

Bryan has one of the Slammys he won on Monday with him. Rowan shoves Daniel down to start but Daniel comes back with a running forearm to stagger Erick. The kicks get him nowhere though as Rowan easily shoves him down. Rowan gets in a forearm of his own to Daniel’s back and puts on a bearhug followed by a fallaway slam.

A splash in the corner gets two on Daniel as Harper looks…..confused I guess you would call it. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope dropkick to drop Erick. Now the kicks work a bit better with the big one to the head dropping Rowan. The FLYING GOAT takes out Harper and Rowan is sent outside as well, only to have Bray trip up Bryan for the DQ at 3:06.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick trailer for the match on Sunday to illustrate what Bryan is going to have to go through. I actually like it better that way as we’ve seen Bryan vs. Rowan in a long match recently so there’s little need to see the same thing again. Also it keeps Rowan looking strong instead of having him lose a second match, meaning there’s some actual thought to the booking for a change.

Bryan has to fight off the monsters post match and manages to get out of the ring for a bad looking running knee to take Bray out.

Real Americans vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Non-title. Before the match Colter rants about Santa Claus telling him Feliz Navidad. That sounds like an illegal immigrant to him and that means we need to strengthen our border with the North Pole. Goldust runs Cesaro down to start and it’s quickly off to Cody as the champions start in on Antonio’s arm. Swagger comes in with some right hands to Cody’s jaw and the Americans start some quick tagging of their own. The Vader Bomb misses as a moderate We The People chant starts up.

Goldust comes in with the uppercut and a spinebuster to Swagger but a blind tag brings in Cesaro to knock Goldust out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Swagger holding Goldust in a front facelock. The Americans take their turns on Goldust with Swagger putting on a chinlock. Goldust fights up and comes off the second rope for a collision with Swagger.

The double tag brings in Cody for the sunset flip out of the corner and the Alabama Slam for two each on Antonio. Goldust has to break up the Swing and Cody gets two more off the Disaster Kick. Both Americans are sent to the floor and Cody hits a great looking dive to take Cesaro out. Back in and Cody loads up the moonsault press but gets distracted by Swagger, allowing Cesaro to pull him into the European uppercut for the pin at 6:17 shown of 9:47.

Rating: C-. It’s been at least a few weeks since we last had the champions lose a few matches to set up a title shot so it was long overdue. The Americans getting wins is fine, but there must be some teams they could beat other than the champions. If nothing else, take some of those guys that have nothing else to do and make quick teams out of them. It’s worked many times before.

Video package on what the history of the titles means for the unification match. This transitions into a nice package shows Cena and Orton’s career paths.

Bad News Barrett calls us losers for voting on the Slammy winners.

Damien Sandow vs. Mark Henry

Langston is on commentary again. Henry throws Sandow around to start and shrugs off a boot in the corner. Sandow is sent to the floor and takes the countout to save himself for Sunday at 1:17.

Langston throws Sandow back inside for the beating he deserves.

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka vs. Bella Twins

Natalya is on commentary. Nikki is shoved to the mat by Tamina to start but uses the power of yelling to come back. A snap suplex and a Samoan drop put Nikki down as Natalya talks about Total Divas. Off to AJ who skips around a lot but misses a charge into the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Brie. The girl named after cheese cleans a little bit of the house but is quickly caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 2:36.

Here’s Cena for the PPV hard sell. Cena talks about how Monday was the first time that the two world champions both handed the world title away. 99% of the superstars in WWE history will never hold one of those (true, though if you go by the WWE roster currently listed on Wikipedia, which to be fair includes Rock, Undertaker, Lesnar and other part timers as well as names like Ezekiel Jackson and Evan Bourne, it’s about 30% of all male wrestlers. Think about that for a minute and you’ll see why the titles should be unified) but they gave the titles away. Why would they do that?

It’s because of the moment on Sunday when the unification will change everything. Cena knows what Orton is capable of, but he also knows something Orton wishes he doesn’t know: Orton has a glass jaw. Think about it: whenever Orton gets hurt, he runs away. This Sunday there’s nowhere to run though and Orton is going to have to suffer through the pain from falling off a ladder or going through a table. Cena doesn’t know what Orton is going to do but he’s going to get back up every time. The question is does Orton run again or does he get back up? This Sunday there’s one champion and his name is John Cena.

We look back at Punk beating Ambrose on Raw but getting speared down after the match.

Shield vs. Usos

Ambrose is on commentary here to continue a theme tonight. Jimmy leapfrogs Rollins to start and punches him in the face before tagging Jey. The twins hit a higher flying version of the Demolition Decapitator for two before Jimmy puts on a standing armbar. Rollins pushes him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns and Shield takes over. Jimmy tries to speed things up by hitting the ropes, allowing Jey to make a blind tag. Some Uso double teaming knocks Rollins out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Seth front facelock and getting two off a backslide. Reigns comes back in and shoves Jimmy into the corner for a chinlock. Jimmy escapes with a jawbreaker but Roman runs him over with a clothesline. Shield tries some double teaming but Rollins gets low bridged to the floor. Jimmy DDTs Reigns down and dives over for the tag to Jey. Rollins comes back in to speed things up with the throw in the air Samoan drop for a VERY close two.

The superkick sets up the Superfly Splash but Seth rolls to the floor. That’s cool with Jey who takes him out with a cross body, putting all four guys outside. Reigns comes out of nowhere with a spear to Jimmy and Jey is sent into the post. Jey barely beats the count but gets caught by the Black Out (running curb stomp). Rollins loads up a GTS but puts Jey on his feet instead of hitting him with the knee, only to set up another spear for the pin at 8:55 shown of 11:10.

Rating: C+. The tag matches continue to be good in WWE as they’re given the time to develop. I still hope the Usos get the titles eventually as they’ve spent years on the roster and consistently put on entertaining matches. At the same time, Shield, is able to have good matches no matter what combination we get from them.

After the match Punk appears on screen from the basement ala Shield’s promos. Punk didn’t like it when Shield put their hands on him and he’s going to do something about it on Sunday. He knows he’s going down, but the question is how many of them are going with him.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Axel and Mysterio are the seconds here. Before the match we get the announcement of a four way tag title match on Sunday: Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Axel vs. Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio. Big Show chops Ryback down to start and hits the loud chop in the corner. A headbutt staggers Ryback and there’s another loud chop. Ryback comes back with a nice spinebuster for two but the Meat Hook is caught in a chokeslam to give Big Show the pin at 1:44.

Axel takes a 619 post match.

We look at Bryan attacking Bray earlier.

The Wyatts come on screen and Bray says he was trying to prove Daniel wrong. Bray yells that he (Bray) was a blind fool though and starts singing about walking with the reaper and leaving this world behind. That’s his special lullaby song that he sings to all of his babies before he puts them down. See you Sunday Bryan.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio gets the jobber entrance. No match again this week as Miz jumps Kofi and gives him a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor. I’d assume we have a TLC match set as a result.

In the weekly sitdown interview, HHH says he might listen to an apology from Orton for him running into Stephanie on Monday.

Here’s Orton for the apology to end the show. He talks about the end of Monday’s show and seeing Stephanie laid out on the mat. Orton can’t get the image out of his head and wants to apologize to the Authority in person. This brings out HHH as Orton says it was clearly an accident. He says it’s clearly an accident if you look at the footage so here’s the ending sequence again.

There’s more footage from a different angle in slow motion but we have to wait for the YES chant to die down first. Orton talks over the Daniel Bryan chant and talks about how their relationship is important and he wants HHH and Stephanie to accept his apology. HHH says he’s seen the footage over and over because they’re his cameras in the first place. There are a lot of people that need to apologize but he isn’t one of them. They both know he could fire Orton for this but that wouldn’t be best for business. For this one time, Orton’s apology is accepted.

Orton is grateful, but there’s one more thing he needs to ask about. We look at the footage of Cena helping Stephanie to her feet and standing next to the Authority and Orton would like an explanation. Randy talks about proving himself on Sunday but wants to know if the Authority has the same amount of faith in him that he has in himself. HHH says don’t worry about it because they know exactly where their faith lies. Orton is confused to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was designed to set up the main matches for Sunday but we didn’t really get anything new here. Bryan got in a shot at Bray and that’s really about all that has changed. Cena still seems to be the Authority’s guy (though I don’t buy it at all) and Punk is still promising to take the Shield down with him. Other than adding the four way tag match, there really isn’t anything new for Sunday. The wrestling here was just ok but the point was setting up the PPV. Everything was covered, but other than the main event there isn’t much of interest to see, which cuts tonight’s show down.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Erick Rowan via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Real Americans b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes – European uppercut to Rhodes

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Brie

Shield b. Usos – Spear to Jey

Big Show b. Ryback – Chokeslam

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Smackdown
Date: December 6, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re closing in on TLC and a lot more of the card has been set in stone. The main stories coming out of Raw are the two handicap matches for TLC with Punk taking on the Shield and Bryan facing the Wyatts. Tonight it’s Punk against a member of Shield to be announced tonight. Other than that we’re likely to get talking from Orton and/or Cena. Let’s get to it.

Theme song.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He talks about becoming the champion of champions at TLC (still sounds better than Unified Champion) and shows us a clip from the end of Raw where Cena put him through a table. Even though Orton has about five injuries as a result, he’ll still prove his greatness at TLC. He may not be the most likeable of characters but he’s never liked any of us or John Cena. Orton does however revere Stephanie and HHH because they know what’s best for business. Maybe he’s taken some things they’ve done for him for granted so Orton would like to apologize.

Before he can get all the way through though, here’s Daniel Bryan to point his fingers in the air a lot. Bryan says Orton needs to apologize for being a champion. In all of their title matches, Orton never once legitimately beat him. Just because Bryan has been targeted by the Wyatts, he hasn’t forgotten about Orton or what Orton did to him. Daniel says that after TLC, he’s going to be first in line for a title shot at the new champion. Tonight though he’s looking at the face of the WWE and feels like putting a knee on that face. Orton says no but Bryan appeals to the crowd for a YES chant. Randy just stands there.

Big E. Langston vs. Fandango

Non-title and Sandow is on commentary. Langston’s music seems to have been remixed. The champion throws Fandango around with ease and drives his shoulder into Fandango’s ribs. Fandango is sent to the floor but Langston takes too much time going after him and gets clotheslined down. Back in and Fandango puts on a front facelock but shoves Fandango off like he’s a cruiserweight. Some clotheslines set up the Warrior splash but Fandango comes back with a kick to the head and a knee to the jaw for two. Langston shrugs it off and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 2:35.

Post match Sandow gets in the ring to point at Langston’s belt. Dang they’re warming up for the Wrestlemania Point early this year.

We get the opening of Smackdown from WWE 2K14 via Youtube. Riveting stuff of course.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. This is fallout from Main Event where Goldust had Ryback beaten but Curtis came in for the DQ. Cody starts with Ryback as JBL tries some portmanteaus of Ryback and Axel’s names. Goldust quickly comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press for two. Ryback hits a middle rope splash and Axel drops a middle rope elbow for two as the announcers talk about Superstar of the Year. The former Heyman Guys take turns on Goldust until it’s off to Axel for a chinlock.

Back up and Axel misses a dropkick and walks into a powerslam to give Goldie a breather. The not hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and the sunset flip out of the corner for two. Cody’s moonsault press gets two and everything breaks down. Goldust knocks Ryback to the floor and Cody lays him out with a Disaster Kick off the announcers’ table. Rhodes heads back inside and is immediately rolled up by Axel for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere, but are we really jobbing one of the hottest acts in the company to Axel and Ryback? I was hoping this whole “champions lose to set up a title match” bit was taking a hiatus but apparently WWE was just luring me into a false sense of security.

Orton vs. Bryan is official for later.

Bad News Barrett tells us that we’re all sheep who will follow each other to the slaughter.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Del Rio jumps Kingston on the floor before the bell and sends him into the barricade. Kofi gets put in the armbreaker for some screaming as referees try to pull Del Rio off. No match, but haven’t we seen Del Rio destroy Kofi after a loss before?

We recap Punk’s issues with Shield leading up to the handicap match at TLC.

Shield promises to hurt Punk tonight but they’re going to leave him healthy enough to make it to TLC. It’s going to be Ambrose facing Punk tonight.

Dean Ambrose vs. CM Punk

Non-title because the US Title is nothing but a trophy again. Rollins and Reigns stay in the crowd to keep it one on one. Punk has bad ribs coming into this. Cole: “Punk didn’t tape his ribs. Why put a target on his back?” Punk grabs a headlock to start but misses the high kick as Ambrose hangs onto the rope. Dean charges into a big boot of all things from Punk, setting up four straight legdrops for two for Punk.

Dean comes back with a knee to the ribs to take over and Cole completely ignores it to read more nominees. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Punk fights out and forearms Ambrose in the head. The GTS is countered with another shot to the ribs but Ambrose bails to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dean stomping on the bad ribs like the smart heel that he is. Dean keeps taunting Punk as he peppers him with right hands before hooking a crossface chicken wing. Punk is down so Ambrose goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow drop. The springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and the running knee in the corner gets the same. Ambrose counters the swinging neckbreaker into a backslide which sets up a Fujiwara Armbar to stay on the arm.

Dean lets it go for some reason but counters another GTS attempt into a sleeper. Punk rolls through that into the Anaconda Vice but Dean quickly makes a rope. The Macho Elbow is broken up with a superplex for two and Dean goes back to the armbar. Punk gets into the ropes as well and finally scores with the high kick for two. The GTS, Bulldog Driver and another GTS are all countered and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, giving Ambrose a rollup (with a handful of trunks) for two more. Not that it matters as another high kick sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B-. Good match, annoying booking. There are three Shield members to pick from. One is a champion, one is the golden boy and the other is Seth Rollins. Why in the would wasn’t this Rollins doing a job for Punk? The match would have been entertaining and you keep the title looking strong at the same time. It’s really not that complicated of an idea but WWE continues to mess it up. The match was what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose for 13 minutes, but why did Ambrose go after the arm so much when Punk had bad ribs coming in?

Renee Young (looking stunning in a red dress) is with Rey Mysterio in the back. She asks Rey which world title means more. Before Rey can answer, the Real Americans (now in matching jackets with Cesaro’s saying Toni and Swagger’s saying Big Hoss) come up and asks to see Rey’s papers.

Colter wants to know what’s up with Mysterio’s mask, if that’s even his real name. Rey says he was born and raised in San Diego, California but is Mexican in his heart. Colter thinks Rey’s title reigns should be stricken from the record books but Rey thinks the Real Americans should be stricken from the building. Zeb throws out a challenge for a tag match with Rey getting a partner. Rey says si.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ is on commentary and talks about how she was the most interesting Diva in the match just by skipping around in a circle. Tamina gets caught by a quick clothesline for two but she easily shoves Natalya to the floor. Nattie gets rammed ribs first into the apron a few times before Tamina takes it back inside to crank on Natalya’s arms.

Cole spends the match trying to make AJ into a heel by asking why she thinks she’s above the title which just isn’t working. Natalya gets two off a low dropkick but Tamina kicks out of the Sharpshooter. A Samoan drop puts Natalya down but she misses the Superfly Splash, giving Natalya the pin at 2:59.

Post match Natalya yells at AJ to no effect.

The Funkadactyls sell stuff and annoy me by existing.

Real Americans vs. Rey Mysterio/???

The mystery partner is Big Show, who apparently is just going to forget about the whole Authority ruining his life thing. Big Show chops Swagger in the corner and headbutts him down to start. Off to Rey for a top rope hurricanrana but Swager counters the sitout bulldog into a wheelbarrow slam in a nice move. Cesaro gets in a neck snap across the top rope as Cole brings up Cesaro making Titus sick last week.

Mysterio fights out of the corner but Jack sends him out to the floor. Back in and the Real Americans take turns pounding on Rey until the sitout bulldog takes Swagger down. Double tags bring in Cesaro and Big Show so the giant can clean house. A spear gets two on Cesaro as Swagger makes the save, only to have Rey hit a quick 619 to Jack. Big Show chokeslams Cesaro, setting up a Rey splash from Big Show’s shoulders for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with a very short version of the tag team formula. Big Show being in the midcard again is a better fit for him, but I really hope this doesn’t lead to a big man/little man tag team. The Real Americans continue to go from hot to cold like no one else on the roster.

We get a video package of various champions over the years, talking about what being champion meant to them. It’s mainly a collection of promos from their careers with a few guys sitting down to talk about what the win means. Cool stuff.

HHH’s sitdown interview talks about how great the unification match will be and guarantees that the King of Kings will crown the Champion of Champions.

Bad News Barrett has some good news for us. There will be a Champion of Champions after TLC, but that man will have a target on his chest. He’ll be the hunted, making him the envy of the locker room, meaning he’s doomed.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Non-title of course. They fight into the corner to start with neither being able to get an advantage. Orton takes over with some right hands but Bryan fights out of the corner with punches of his own. Daniel goes after the arm as the announcers discuss Bryan joining the Wyatts. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for two and a clothesline puts Bryan down. Bryan scores with a dropkick to send Orton to the floor but Orton moves before the FLYING GOAT can launch.

We take a break and come back with Orton getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Bryan fights out and moonsaults over Randy to set up the running clothesline. A pair of running dropkicks in the corner set up some kicks to Orton’s chest and a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Bryan. Daniel sends him to the floor and now the FLYING GOAT connects.

Back in and the missile dropkick drops Randy again and there are the YES kicks. The big one misses as is the new custom and Orton gets two off a powerslam. Orton connects with the Elevated DDT but Bryan counters the RKO into a backslide for two. Now the big kick lays out Orton and the Swan Dive…..doesn’t launch because we’ve got Wyatts. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:44 shown of 12:14.

Rating: C+. Bryan continues his roll but it’s clear his time on top is over. The ending keeps the Bryan vs. Wyatts feud going but doesn’t do much for Daniel himself. It does however give Bryan some more momentum going into the PPV which is a good idea, but unfortunately it’s at Bryan’s expense.

Post match Bray pops up on screen and says tick tock over and over. He doesn’t mean to keep haunting Bryan, but how many times does Bryan have to cross a burning bridge to know he doesn’t have to fight this battle alone? Bryan knows what they are, but at TLC he’ll learn what he himself is. Bray laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing a decent job of building up to TLC but not everything was clicking tonight. Bad News Barrett is going to bomb and it’s going to bomb badly. There’s just nothing there at the moment and the insults are as easy as you can think of. On the other hand, the handicap matches are going to be solid with Bryan vs. Wyatts getting more interesting every show. The world title match is looking more and more like a screwy finish every week, but at least we have a new buzz phrase with Champion of Champions.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Pin after a missed Superfly Splash

Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Swagger

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2011
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is a special edition of the show as it’s airing live on Tuesday. Also it’s the holiday episode, which I think is a catch all for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is next month but whatever. Foley is the host for the evening and we have a world title match in a cage with Henry vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

The show opens with fake snow and Josh saying there was a snow storm that started a few seconds ago.

Here’s Foley. There’s a Christmas set. Aren’t they pulling this out a little early? I mean we have Christmas music, Foley in a Santa suit, Christmas lights at the table and all that jazz. He points out that it’s still November but he’s a Christmas fanatic. What Good Old JR is to barbecue sauce and what the Ultimate Warrior is to arm tassels, he is to Christmas. For us tonight, we have a world title match between Tiny Tim and the Ghost of Christmas Fear inside a steel cage. There’s also a miracle on 34th street fight, an over the top rope battle royal where the winner gets their Christmas wish granted…and Michael Cole.

Foley can’t get around the contract and Cole’s legal team, but he can pick how Cole has to dress. Cue Cole in a Rudolph costume. Josh is in an elf outfit so he can’t complain much. Foley also brings out Booker, who is also in a Santa outfit. Foley asks for a Spinarooni to make up for This is your Life from a few weeks ago. It’s set to the Dradle Song because they both spin. The hat comes off but the fans cheer for it so all is well.

Cue Cody all in white. Well mostly in white. He says that he’s seeing clearly now and says that he’s not going to let someone take up the time when that person can’t perform in the ring anymore. Booker says he can still go and calls Cody son. Foley cuts Cody off and makes Booker vs. Cody for later. No word on if this is for the title or not. First up, let’s have a Divas match.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn vs. AJ vs. Tamina vs. Aksana

This is a mistletoe on a pole match, which means you have to climb up and get the mistletoe. The winner gets something they can cash in before Christmas. Brie wins at 57 seconds after climbing on Nikki. I have no idea if I got all the competitors or not, not do I care.

Foley says Brie gets to kiss any superstar she wants before Christmas. Ok then.

Justin Gabriel vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal runs down Christmas before the show starts. We hear about how Mahal has hates DiBiase for giving away all his money. Cue DiBiase in a Santa hat with a bag. He throws out WWE gifts to fans. The distraction lets Gabriel hit an STO and the 450 for the pin at 2:15.

Foley is learning the Siva Tao from the Usos when Piper comes up. He wants a new straightjacket for Christmas. Horny and some good looking woman are having egg nog. Dusty Rhodes is here. He offers Horny a picture of Lagy Gaga and something about sandwich. Dusty says there are some strange people here and turns around into Goldust. There’s something awesome about that. Oh the chick is Maxine.

Piper is talking to someone when Otunga comes up with the coffee cup and has an announcement from Johnny Ace. The holiday music has to be in the public domain. Eh we might as well shut the party down now. Foley and Piper are like dude…..you are in WAY over your head. Foley puts Otunga in the street fight tonight against Randy Orton.

We recap Booker vs. Cody. Booker is in the back when Cody jumps him with the belt, injuring his arm.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd

This should be good. Booker vs. Cody is officially off. Tyson has hair now. They start off pretty fast and both guys go down off a double clothesline. Kidd hits the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise but Kofi hits a dropkick out there anyway. Kofi gets in Cole’s face for some reason and steals the reindeer hat. Kidd gets in a shot and somehow this isn’t a double countout yet. Kofi puts the hat and nose on, finishing with the top rope cross body at 3:33.

Rating: C. Total comedy match and that’s fine. The idea of the reindeer flying to end it was good but we need to get Bourne back already so Kofi can defend the title instead of just holding it. I think he’s due back tomorrow or something so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Decent match but with more time it would have been even better.

Kaitlyn tells Horny he should wish to be taller. Teddy and Sheamus are talking and Sheamus asks what the winner of the battle royal (20 man) gets. Teddy doesn’t know but whatever it is, it’ll be worth it. Cue Aksana who has mistletoe with her. And Aksana eats it instead of kissing Teddy.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

This is a street fight. There are a bunch of Christmas trees at ringside as well as presents that slide around the floor. Otunga is in red shorts now instead of his normal trunks. Randy throws him into a bunch of trees and then the announce table. There’s a tray of cookies there so Orton has a bite, gives a face as if to say not bad, then smacks Otunga with the tray.

He grabs a wreath off the post, shouts HO HO HO in Otunga’s face (legit made me laugh) and sends him into the steps. Otunga goes under the ring and finds a kendo stick made to look like a candy cane. Orton takes him down though and beats Otunga with it as Otunga runs. Orton picks up a present and chucks it at David’s head to knock him down.

They go up the stage and Otunga goes into the big tree. There’s an elevated DDT to the floor but Barrett runs out for the beatdown. It would have helped a lot had Orton not looked over his shoulder just before the DDT. The big boot he takes Orton down with gets two and Otunga’s time is measured in seconds. There’s the finishing sequence and the RKO ends this at 7:38.

Rating: C+. This was meant to be a totally fun match and that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Barrett running in even advances the storyline a bit and it helped things somewhat. I had a very good time with this but I’m a total Christmas geek so I’m about as biased as you can be here. Fun match and it worked all around.

Henry is getting taped up and Teddy comes in. Mark yells at him and says he’ll take his anger out on Bryan.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

Sheamus teases anger but smiles and Horny celebrates.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

AJ comes up to wish Bryan luck. Bryan tells Striker he’s ready.

The cage is lowered.

The Slammys are in two weeks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

We even get big match intros. The winner gets Big Show at TLC. Bryan runs for the corner almost immediately. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Bryan keeps trying to run and avoid corners. He wisely goes for the bad leg so Henry throws him into the cage. He splashes Bryan against the wall and we take a break. Back with Henry still dominating. We get a clip from during the break with Henry pulling Bryan back and in essence sling shotting him into the cage.

Time for a nerve hold to waste some time. Bryan fires off a dropkick but Henry kills him with a clothesline. The leg is wearing out though as he kind of falls into the cover for two. Bryan wakes up and goes crazy on the ankle, getting Henry down on the mat and screaming in pain. Bryan climbs but Henry makes the catch, crotching Bryan on the ropes. Henry goes for the door but Bryan grabs the ankle again. Bryan fires off a dropkick to the knee and hooks the LeBell Lock but Henry powers out of it.

Off to an ankle lock and the place is really getting into this. Henry kicks Bryan off but he can’t get up to follow up on it. The challenger goes up but gets his tights partially pulled down. Now Henry goes up but Bryan follows him. He gets over the top but Henry grabs the arm and pulls him back in. There’s some good drama in this. Henry tries a powerbomb out of the corner but Bryan climbs over the top. Henry pulls him back in again and headbutts him into the World’s Strongest Slam from the top. And that takes care of Bryan at 11:15.

Rating: B. Good main event here and the drama towards the end was solid. I don’t think anyone had any realistic reason to believe that Bryan was going to win and they shouldn’t have. He’s a midcard guy getting his first chance in there with the big boys and he’s not ready for the title yet. Still though, very solid main event and Henry gets a win that he’s been lacking recently.

Overall Rating: A-. WWE is on a ROLL right now with their TV shows. Last night was great and tonight was as well. The idea that seems to work for them is to not linger on stuff too long and most importantly, not go back to things over and over again. This show was fine with all of its holiday themes and I liked it a lot. It could have been better, but if they were hoping to show that Smackdown can work live, they nailed it here. Good stuff again.

Results
Brie Bella won a Mistletoe On A Pole Match
Justin Gabriel b. Jinder Mahal – 450 Splash
Kofi Kingston b. Tyson Kidd – Top Rope Cross Body
Randy Orton b. David Otunga – RKO
Hornswoggle won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan – World’s Strongest Slam from the middle rope

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Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2013
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The main story coming into tonight is Cena vs. Orton being confirmed for TLC, but I can’t imagine we’ll get much on that at Smackdown. Other than that the big questions are what did the Wyatts do with Daniel Bryan and why did Shield take out Punk on Raw. The show likely won’t answer any questions but we might get a food fight because that’s how wrestling works around a holiday. Let’s get to it.

Theme song.

Here’s Renee Young in the ring to introduce Randy Orton. We look back at the end of Survivor Series where the Authority helped Orton beat Big Show with the Punt. Orton says he begs to differ with Renee’s version of things. First off he was playing possum instead of being knocked out. He didn’t need the Authority to prove he could beat Big Show. All that did was taint his inevitable victory. That brings us to Monday where Cena showed up to challenge Orton to the title unification match at TLC. Renee asks Orton about why he didn’t accept the match himself but Orton walks away.

We go to the back for the Thanksgiving party. Everyone is having a good time so here’s Vickie to let us know that this is a leftover party. She has everything anyone could want, but this will NOT turn into a food fight. There will however be an eating contest between Titus and Khali but we have to wait on the winner.

Curtis Axel vs. Mark Henry

Ryback and Langston are here as seconds. Henry throws Axel around as you would expect to get us going. Ryback gets in a cheap shot on Langston and the distraction lets Axel get in some cheap shots on the knee to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Henry gets to his feet and throws Axel around like a small ferret. The JYD headbutts put Axel on the floor between two large muscular men and Ryback’s interference doesn’t work at all. Henry throws Curtis back inside for the World’s Strongest Slam and the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D. Axel is a guy in desperate need of a repackaging. The talent is there, but he needs something completely different after how badly he’s been crushed. At least he doesn’t have the title anymore. It looks like we’re setting up for Langston vs. Ryback, which is going to hurt someone in the short term when neither guy can really afford that.

Truth and Xavier Woods (in a Power Rangers shirt) are in the back when a ticked off Brodus Clay shows up. He gave them permission to use the music and Funkadactyls, not steal them. Brodus tells the rookie to watch his attitude and slaps him in the face. Truth and Tensai break up the fight as Brodus seems to have turned heel.

Back to the eating contest when AJ and Tamina crash the party. Vickie threatens to turn this into a food fight with the two of them against everyone else. That goes nowhere and we pan over to Khali passing out and Titus winning the contest. The win earns him a match with Antonio Cesaro tonight. Khali is covered in mashed potatoes.

Plymouth Rockers vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

3MB coming out to the Rockers’ music isn’t something I ever expected to see. JBL is WAY too excited to see El Torito. Torito gets things going with Slater as JBL refers to this as an inter-species match. The other Band members try to jump Torito but the Matadores dropkick them to the floor.

Torito dives through the ropes to take them out as the crowd is silent. Fernando gets stomped down in the 3MB corner with Drew draping Fernando’s feet on the ropes and firing off forearms to the back. A hot tag brings in Torito with a top rope hurricanrana followed by a flying headscissors. Off to Diego and the double Angle Slam ends McIntyre at 2:57. Comedy match and not a funny one.

Video on the European shows.

Tons of Funk vs. Xavier Woods/R-Truth

Tensai and Truth get us going with both guys escaping various hold attempts. Truth finally gets slammed down but blocks a charge in the corner with a boot to the face. Off to Woods who pounds on Tensai and kicks him in the jaw to little effect. An enziguri sends Tensai into the corner and it’s off to Brodus for the headbutt to the chest. A middle rope splash crushes Woods for the pin at 2:18. I like the idea of this feud. Stealing music seems like an easy way to start a feud but I don’t remember it being used since…..the late 80s?

Punk is worried that he hasn’t heard from Bryan and that he has bad ribs thanks to Reigns. He thinks Shield is acting on orders from someone.

Bray Wyatt talks about seeing mannequins in his dreams. Everyone is intoxicated in their own vanity but we all see symmetry. Bray insists that no one knows people like he does and that Daniel Bryan will be safe with them.

Titus O’Neal vs. Antonio Cesaro

Titus has a stomach ache which likely means a bad ending to this one. He grabs a headlock on Cesaro but gets dropkicked down, sending Titus into the ropes to hold his stomach. Titus jumps over Cesaro in the corner and kicks him in the face, only to make himself hurt more from the bark. Cesaro knees him in the stomach and puts on the Swing but Young comes in for the DQ at 2:00.

Titus is sick in JBL’s hat (censored of course) for the payoff. Zeb makes fun of Titus so he gets sick on Colter as well. This went on WAY too long.

The Raw ReBound covers the main event.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield

Reigns and Rollins are challenging and Ambrose is on commentary. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Cody grabs a headlock to start on Rollins as Cole asks if the Authority had anything to do with Shield attacking Punk on Monday. Apparently Cole doesn’t have clearance to get that answer so Ambrose says it’s Shield’s personal business. Cody slams Rollins down and brings in Goldust for a middle rope ax handle to the arm. Back to Cody who gets two off the front suplex and it’s back to the arm.

Reigns comes in and you can feel the match change in a hurry. Goldust bows up to fight him but is easily knocked to the floor. Back in and Reigns scores with an uppercut but gets caught by a dropkick for no cover. Everything breaks down for a bit with the champions clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Cody working on Seth’s arm but not being able to hit the Alabama Slam out of the corner. Instead Seth sunset flips him down for two and kicks Cody in the head for the same.

The announcers talk about brothers being tag team champions and Ambrose asks a question we need a definitive answer to: are Edge and Christian brothers or not? Reigns comes in for some pounding before it’s quickly back to Rollins who chokes on the ropes. Cody gets caught in a front facelock by Reigns before getting dropped by a back elbow. Rollins comes back in but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor.

The hot tag brings in Goldust who clotheslines Reigns down a few times and a cross body gets one. Reigns breaks up the top rope cross body and sends Goldust to the floor as we take another break. Back with Goldust in trouble and being knocked into the corner by Rollins. We hit the chinlock on Goldust but he grabs a small package for two. A DDT puts Rollins down but Reigns knocks Cody off the apron to break up the hot tag.

Reigns clotheslines Goldust down for two and puts on a headlock. Goldust is taken into the Shield corner but comes out with a double clothesline to put everyone down. Now the hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and a sunset flip gets two on Rollins. Seth counters the moonsault press and sends Cody face first into the buckle to put him down.

Everything breaks down again and Goldust is sent into the barricade. Cody comes off the top with a nice plancha to take out both Shield members. Back in and Rollins avoids the moonsault press but misses the top rope knee. Cross Rhodes puts Seth out but Ambrose breaks it up for the DQ at 16:03 shown of 23:03.

Rating: B-. Do I really need to explain that a Shield match is good at this point? Yeah they do a lot of the same stuff in a lot of their matches, but they’re some of the most entertaining matches we’ve gotten this year. Cody and Goldust have awesome chemistry with these guys also so this was your usual very good TV match.

Post match here’s Punk with a chair to take out Shield. Vickie pops up on screen and makes it a six man tag.

Shield vs. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The match is joined in progress as we come back with Punk pounding away on Ambrose in the corner. An elbow to the head gets two for Punk and it’s back to Goldust for a clothesline. That’s enough of the golden one so here’s Cody to pound on Dean in the corner a bit more. A backdrop out of the corner puts Ambrose down and here’s Punk again with a top rope ax handle to the head.

Ambrose avoids a charge in the corner and it’s off to Rollins, who is immediately taken down in a modified Indian deathlock. Back to Goldust to stay on the leg and here’s Cody for more of the same. JBL goes on a rant against Cole for reporting about the locker room, which somehow leads to him accusing Shield of helping Stanley Kubrick stage the moon landing. The tag champions stay on Rollins until Punk comes in with a backbreaker for two. There’s the bridging Indian deathlock with the facelock before it’s off to Cody for a half crab.

Rollins avoids a charge in the corner and brings in Ambrose as we take another break. Back with Dean slamming Cody down but charging into a boot in the corner, allowing for a tag to Punk. CM fires off his usual strikes followed by the swinging neckbreaker. He loads up the GTS….and here are the Wyatts. Punk charges at them but runs into Dean’s elbow and a beating from Reigns ensues. Back to Dean but Punk DDTs him at the same time Rollins is caught in a neckbreaker for a cool double team. Punk goes over to Goldust but the Wyatts pull Goldust to the floor for the DQ at 5:50 shown of 9:20.

Rating: C. This was much less interesting than the previous match. There’s only so much you can do with this much time, especially when Punk didn’t get to extract much revenge here. It wasn’t bad or anything but two tag matches in a row like this with mostly the same cast is a bit of a stretch.

Post match the brawl continues until the Usos and Mysterio head out for the save. Vickie comes out to make it a twelve man tag. Good grief.

Shield/Wyatt Family vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio/CM Punk/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Back with Ambrose bringing in Harper to work over Jey Uso. Harper runs him over a few times but gets rolled up for two, meaning it’s time for Rollins to come in and stomp away. Seth stomps away in the corner and it’s off to bray for his hard hitting offense. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll into a front facelock but Jimmy gets in a cheap shot from the apron.

Rey comes in off the 495^th hot tag of the matches but can’t knock the big man down. Instead it’s a big boot to Rey’s face for two and another tag to Wyatt. Bray hits a running splash in the corner and brings in Rowan for a swinging bearhug. A side slam gets two on Mysterio and it’s back to Ambrose for a front facelock. Rey gets sent into the corner and here’s Rollins, only to accidentally send Ambrose to the floor.

Mysterio gets in a kick to Seth’s head and it’s yet ANOTHER hot tag to Punk. He cleans house again and hits the suicide dive to Rowan on the floor. Back in and Punk hits three straight high knees to Erick in the corner. A neckbreaker sets up the Macho Elbow and everything breaks down. The Usos superkick two monsters and hit their dives on Harper and Rollins. Bray breaks up the GTS attempt on Rollins but Rey breaks up Sister Abigail. The 619 knocks Rowan into the GTS for the pin at 8:47.

Rating: D. Is it over yet? I’m almost afraid to say anything else about the match because it’ll probably turn into a 32 man tag match next. This went WAY too long and almost nothing had any interest to it by the end. We’ve seen these guys fighting so many times over the last few months and the last two parts of this dragged really badly. It wasn’t that it was a bad match but I was sick of watching these guys by the end.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t work for me. The three tag matches are almost literally half of the show and the rest of the show is a bunch of thrown together nothing. For once, Impact had this show beaten. Last night’s Impact was another throw away show because of the holiday, but it actually had some storyline development. We got NOTHING here other than a tag match that went on twice as long as it should have. It wasn’t so much that the show was bad but it just didn’t matter at all, meaning there was no reason to sit through it.

Results

Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel – World’s Strongest Slam

Los Matadores/El Torito b. Plymouth Rockers – Double Angle Slam to McIntyre

Tons of Funk b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth – Middle rope splash to Woods

Antonio Cesaro b. Titus O’Neal via DQ when Darren Young interfered

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered

Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk/Rey Mysterio b. Shield/Wyatt Family – GTS to Rowan

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Smackdown
Date: November 22, 2013
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Survivor Series and we’ve more than doubled the announced matches since Monday. The main story coming out of Raw is the return of Rey Mysterio ahead of schedule from his knee injury. He’ll be the fifth main in one of the Survivor Series elimination matches on Sunday even though the word on the street is he’s not ready yet. It’s hard to say if we’ll see him tonight or not. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. We haven’t had that in awhile.

Mysterio is in a six man tag tonight with the Usos against Shield. Makes sense to give him a lighter load like that.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans

Cesaro and Swagger are challenging. This is due to the Americans winning a match over the champions last month because it takes WWE awhile to get around to such things. Goldust and Swagger get things going with Swagger sending him in the corner but getting caught by a dropkick. Off to Cody for a missile dropkick and the release front suplex for two on the now legal Cesaro. Back to Goldie as the champions start working on the arm.

The champions make some fast tags to stay on Cesaro’s arm before a running knee the chest gets two for Cody. A pair of rollups get the same but Cesaro backdrops him to the apron where a Swagger distraction lets Antonio kick Cody to the floor. We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a standing chinlock. A clothesline puts Cody down and it’s of to Swagger for a belly to belly suplex for two. The running Vader Bomb sets up Cesaro’s double stomp for two before Cesaro catapults Rhodes into a Swagger suplex/powerslam for two more.

Cesaro hooks another chinlock but Cody backdrops an invading Swagger to the floor. Rhodes is about to make a hot tag but Jack pulls Goldust down to the floor in a smart move. Swiss Death gets two on Cody and the challengers are getting frustrated. Cody tries his sunset flip out of the corner but Cesaro powers him back up onto the ropes in a very unique counter. Rhodes kicks him away and hits the moonsault press to put both guys down. Nice sequence there.

Double tag brings in Goldust and Swagger with the champion taking over via his signature stuff. He rains down punches in the corner and gets two off a powerslam as Cesaro makes the save. Both Americans are on the floor so Goldust backdrops Cody down on top of them. Goldust goes up top but gets slammed down on his face, setting up the Patriot Lock. Swagger drags him away from the ropes but Cody breaks it up with the Disaster Kick. Cesaro comes back in with the Cesaro Swing to Cody for a ridiculous 27 seconds. Goldust clotheslines Antonio to the floor and hits the Final Cut on Jack to retain at 9:44 shown of 13:14.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. The ending had me thinking the titles could change when Swagger pulled him away from the ropes and the kick was timed perfectly. Cody and Goldust are on fire right now and having great matches with anyone they work with. Really good opener here.

Ryback is in the ring to issue an open challenge. He says being a bully isn’t a bad thing and he enjoys being one very much. Ryback issues the challenge again and some music hits before he can even finish.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

Khali wins a quick chop off before taking Ryback into the corner for some chops to the back. A clothesline puts Ryback on the floor but he comes back in to stomp Khali down in the corner. Ryback runs into an elbow in the corner followed by some clotheslines and the big chop for two. The Meathook puts Khali down and the Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible power match here as Ryback is getting more and more impressive with that Shell Shock every time. That being said, it’s not going to matter if he keeps alternating wins and losses. Also it’s not like beating Khali means much. Heath Slater pinned him nearly clean a few months back which should tell you everything you need to know about him anymore.

Vickie comes up to AJ in the back and blames Brad Maddox for everything on Raw. She reiterates everything AJ should know about Survivor Series and puts AJ in a handicap match against the Funkadactyls. AJ claims an ankle injury but Vickie makes the match anyway. It’s best for business you see. Apparently so is mocking someone who works harder than anyone in the division and collapsed at a show in a match where she’s supposed to be the heel despite being cheered over the soulless Bellas who come off as the most stuck up evil women imaginable every time they’re on their reality show which most wrestling fans don’t watch.

We get a clip from the History of the WWE DVD with Bruno Sammartino talking about the peak of his career, including comments from Ivan Koloff and Ken Patera (looking nothing like he did as a wrestler).

Video of John Cena at Oxford University. This didn’t air on the American version of the show for some reason.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee

The Funky ones don’t have to tag so they dropkick AJ out to the floor. AJ tries to leave but the Funkadactyls knock Tamina down and drag AJ back to the ring. Tamina takes Cameron down and AJ gets a near fall off a neckbreaker to Naomi. The announcers ignore the match because JBL accidentally said “Funkerdactyls”, which apparently is the funniest thing ever. Naomi hits an enziguri and the Rear View gets the pin at 2:25.

Bray Wyatt talks about seeing memories that aren’t his own. The world needs more revolutionaries and more revolutions, but no one can understand that because Punk and Bryan make eyes light up whenever they enter a room. Punk and Bryan are just men who breathe and bleed like anyone does but the people revere them like they’re some kind of saviors. Bray’s father told him as a child that the meek shall inherit the earth, but they are the reapers who walk. Follow the buzzards. Creepy and bizarre as always but it made sense.

Shield vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio

Dean and Jimmy start us off with Uso winning a slugout in the corner and dragging Ambrose over for a tag of to Jey. JBL talks about the great debuts in Atlanta and lists off the NWO as starting here. He’s usually better at history than that. Shield starts their fast tags with Rollins and Ambrose taking their shots until Jimmy tags in Jey so the twins can clear the ring. The stereo dives take Rollins and Ambrose out in the usual cool visual.

Back inside and Jey misses a high cross body to give Rollins two and we take a break. Back with Rollins hitting a knee to the head to knock Jey into the Shield corner. Ambrose hooks an arm trap choke before Reigns comes in with a suplex for two. Rollins whips Jey into the corner and talks some trash, only to miss a charge into the corner. Reigns breaks up a hot tag attempt and lays Jey out with a spinout belly to back suplex for two.

Roman misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Mysterio to clean house. Everything breaks down and Reigns spears both Usos down but Rey hurricanranas him out to the floor. Ambrose comes in with a clothesline as Rollins dives over the top rope to take out the Usos. Rey sends Ambrose into the ropes for the 619 and the top rope splash for the pin at 8:47 shown of 12:17.

Rating: C. Just a welcome home match for Rey who looked decent but not much more than that. Shield still looked good out there and there’s no shame in losing to a Hall of Famer like Mysterio. As usual though, Reigns looks like a star out there with the spears to both Usos and some nice power displays throughout the match. He’s going to be huge.

Here’s Big Show (who has changed his clothes since he was seen standing in the hallway) to say he came back to torture the Authority. The best way he can do that is rearranging the face of the WWE and become the new WWE Champion. He’ll lay it all on the line at Survivor Series but here’s Orton to interrupt before Show can elaborate. Orton promises to hurt Big Show on Sunday and end his career, but Big Show wants him to come say that in the ring.

We get a clip from Raw of the Authority telling Orton that he has to win on his own to gain their confidence. Big Show talks about how Orton has all the talent in the world and should have been a locker room leader years ago. Instead it’s always been about what’s best for Randy Orton. On Sunday, Orton is all alone and Big Show will prove how much of a spoiled brat Orton is. Randy says he can beat him, so Big Show pulls up a video of him chokeslamming Orton through the announce table. The segment was well done, but I still don’t care to see the match at all.

R-Truth turns into Pretty Ricky to shill merchandise. To say this is a bad stereotype is an understatement.

Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel/Damien Sandow

Axel gets his rematch on Sunday. Ziggler dropkicks Sandow down to start but gets taken into the corner so the heels can double team. Axel goes after Langston because he’s not that bright, allowing Dolph to hit a jumping DDT to put Curtis down. The hot tag brings in Langston to clean house but Axel breaks up the Big Ending on Sandow. Ziggler lays out Axel with a Fameasser and the Big Ending finishes Sandow at 2:38.

Post match Langston chases Axel off again.

Video on the Wrestlemania ticket launch party.

Various celebrities are here.

Del Rio is in the back and we get a video recapping his feud with Cena. This includes clips of Cena getting the better of Alberto on Raw, but Del Rio says he wasn’t ready. He’ll be ready on Sunday though and will bring the World Title home.

WWE fans think Natalya has the most devastating submission hold over Punk, Bryan and Del Rio. That sounds very odd.

There was a Prime Time Players vs. 3MB match taped and scheduled to air here but there’s no reference to it at all.

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Harper drives him into the corner to start but Bryan scores with a few kicks to send the big man outside. We take a break and come back with Bryan being whipped into the barricade. Harper sends him into the steps as well before slowly taking it back inside. Bray shouts at him to stay on Bryan but Daniel takes him down with some kicks and a dragon screw leg whip. Bryan tries to keep up the momentum but charges into a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

Daniel moonsaults over him in the corner and hits the running clothesline to put Harper down. The kicks have Harper in trouble but he counters the big kick into a sitout powerbomb for two. The Gator Roll keeps Bryan down and Harper has some scary eyes on display. Bryan scores with a kick to the face to send Harper to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Bray distracts Bryan, allowing Harper to get in a cheap shot from behind. This brings out Punk, but his distraction lets Daniel roll up Harper for the pin at 7:02 shown of 10:32.

Rating: C+. They’ve got something special with Harper. The guy can hang with anyone in the ring and he’s got a quick finisher that looks awesome. Rubbing elbows with Bryan and Punk is going to do nothing but help him which is the exact idea behind the story. Solid power vs. speed match here and a good sign going forward.

Post match the Wyatts lay out Punk and Bryan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a tough one to grade as they did a good job building up the PPV but there’s very little on the PPV that sounds interesting. The title scene has nothing at all going for it as Del Rio has no chance to win and Big Show vs. Orton is clearly just a means to get to Big Show vs. HHH. The midcard stuff could be interesting and the show could be pleasant surprise but I’m not going into it with very high hopes.

Results

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans – Final Cut to Swagger

Ryback b. Great Khali – Shell Shock

Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee – Rear View

Rey Mysterio/Usos b. Shield – Top rope splash to Ambrose

Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler b. Curtis Axel/Damien Sandow – Big Ending to Sandow

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper – Small package

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