No Surrender 2008
Date: September 14, 2008
Location: General Motors Centre, Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
Someone requested this and I needed to do a TNA show anyway so here you are. This is kind of an awkward time for TNA as the Mafia hasn’t formed yet and there isn’t a big angle going on. The main event is supposed to be a four way with Joe vs. Booker vs. Cage vs. Angle but Booker had travel issues of some sort and can’t be here. Other than that we have an MMA match because EVERYONE that watches wrestling wants to see MMA right? Let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about how some say these people are performers and how this may not be a sport. Just let us know it’s fake guys! That all isn’t true apparently and it took a lot for all four guys in the main event to get here tonight.
Oh one thing more: like I said Booker was never here. The fans on PPV were told that. The 3,500 people in the arena were left in the dark about it and were confused. Nice guys up there in TNA. This is what I mean by not thinking.
The stupid intro video is still going now and runs over three minutes. GET ON WITH THE SHOW!
Here’s Sting. Not for a match but because he wants to talk I guess. He’s on the verge of a heel turn but is still very popular because he’s Sting. Naturally we need to turn him heel right Russo? Sting talks about how good it is to be back in Canada and says he’s in the hiz-ouse. Oh sweet merciful crap don’t start talking like that Stinger. Big ovation for Sting who has to pause because of all the cheering.
He gets the winner of the main event tonight at Bound For Glory but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. Instead he wants to talk about respect. Sting keeps flubbing his lines and you can tell he’s scrambling for some reason. He goes on a rant about respect and how some of the guys behind the curtain have no respect for anyone at all. Sting compares himself to Bret Hart and says that he’s fighting for the same thing as Bret did. He’s not retiring until guys like AJ and Joe know what respect is.
We’re over 10 minutes into the show now and we haven’t even started the first entrance yet.
Christian got here earlier today. Well good to see that he didn’t get lost an hour away from his hometown.
Booker won’t be here tonight. Again, the live fans were never told about this. There was a hurricane or something like that.
Now we run down the already purchased show to waste more time.
HOKEY SMOKE IT’S A MATCH AND WE’RE ONLY FOURTEEN MINUTES IN!
Rock N Rave Infection/Christy Hemme vs. Prince Justice Brotherhood
The Brotherhood is Super Eric (Young in a bad superhero gimmick), Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man in one of the dumbest gimmicks even by TNA standards. The Infection is a bad rock band gimmick that played Guitar Hero controllers and had the smoking hot Christy Hemme as their manager. Eric vs. Rave to start with Eric taking over.
Eric gets a plancha to the floor which gets two back in the ring. Lance Rock comes in which gets his team nowhere so it’s off to Shark Boy. Thesz Press takes down Rock again as the good guys are dominating. Shark Boy is the same Steve Austin parody that was on Impact the other night. Over to Curry Man who gets a pop for no apparent reason other than a potential lack of oxygen in the arena.
Curry Man tags in Christy and we’re in a comedy match officially. He shoves her off and then realizes where his head was so he offers to go back into it again. Funny spot. Off to Shark Boy and Rave. Back drop sends Shark Boy (I refused to refer to him as Sharky like West and Tenay keep doing) to the floor as momentum changes.
Jawbreaker almost gets Shark Boy a tag but Rock N Rave get something close to a 3D but into a knee instead of a cutter. Christy comes in and is dropped onto Shark Boy by Rock. Cold tag to Curry Man (I thought he was hot and spicy?) who gets a flying hip to Rock. He and Hemme dance a bit and she gets kissed. Rollup gets two but Rock drills Curry so that Christy can hit the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (don’t ask) for two. Chummer (Stunner) to Christy and a double Death Valley Driver to the guys from Curry Man end this.
Rating: C+. Basic fast paced and fun match to start us off here which is often times the best idea to open a show. Christy was the only good thing about the Infection as she looked great as the groupie. This was just here for comedy and to warm the crowd up and it did that rather well. Good opener.
Recap of Kong vs. ODB. Kong had been completely dominant and ODB is the only Knockout that isn’t terrified of her. Naturally that means falls count anywhere. Don’t you see the clear connection?
Awesome Kong vs. ODB
Funny sign: “Kong Ate My Sign” and there’s a chuck out of it which looks like teeth marks. I’m still not sure I get the point of ODB but she got pops (put her on TNN!) so I guess that makes sense. Saed, Kong’s manager, jumps ODB during her entrance/playing to the crowd/wasting time and we’re off.
ODB fights Kong off and apparently falls count anywhere means hardcore as there’s a table. At least ODB has pants on here. We head into the crowd as this is going to be a big old brawl. Naturally you can’t see much but ODB being in blue-green helps a lot. Trash can to Kong has her in trouble. Up to the ramp where Kong tosses ODB around and gets a slam for two.
All Kong here as ODB feels herself up after a chop for no apparent reason. Thesz Press on the floor gets two for ODB. Hey let’s spank the overly large woman for no apparent reason. We get ready to use the table that they set up earlier. ODB gets a chair from somewhere and gets a shot in with it for two.
The fans want tables. I wonder if they’ll settle for just one. Kong reverses a slam into an attempted Awesome Bomb but another counter by ODB. It winds up failing as Kong continues taking over. Kong goes up but gets caught in a powerbomb as Saed’s distraction fails.
ODB out to the floor where Saed hammers away. Apparently ODB took the burqa (scarf over the face) off on Impact and Saed isn’t happy. The less fat one fights her off and tries to come off the top but jumps into a chokeslam. Ok scratch the chokeslam as it’s a splash in the corner and a spinning backfist.
Instead of covering though she and Saed set up another table in the corner. ODB gets a shot from her flask (as in a drink) as West says she needs some Liquid Courage (doesn’t sound bad right now. When’s their next show anyway?). She spits it in Kong’s face which doesn’t mean anything as a spinebuster through the table from Kong ends this.
Rating: D+. It’s ok but it’s another of those silly “hardcore” brawls that WWF perfected in the late 90s. Definitely not a bad match but these two got kind of boring to see fight over and over again. Saed never really clicked that well and I’m not sure I got the point of her other than as an aide to Kong. Not bad but pretty weak overall.
The absolutely gorgeous Lauren is with Christian who says this is TNA, not the Hills. Uh, ok? OH! The Hills was a really bad reality show on MTV at this time. Totally forgot about that and it gives me hope for Jersey Shore dying soon. He’s a wrestler that has sacrificed everything for this business and he owes everything he has to it. It all started an hour from here and everyone told him he’d never do it and never make it to the top which he proved wrong. Tonight is more important than when he won his first two world titles because tonight it’s at home. Great stuff here. Generic, but great.
We recap Team 3D vs. Abyss/Morgan. This is during the Abyss loves pain thing which went on for like a year and stopped being interesting/making sense about three days in. He’s been in an institution for six months and is in control of his violent urges now apparently. Morgan is there just because he wants to be I guess.
Team 3D vs. Abyss/Matt Morgan
Abyss has the gray mask on now. Abyss vs. Ray to start us off. Wow that sounds awful beyond words. Mike points out how rare it is to have the Dudleys being at a weight disadvantage which is rather true. Ray with a Rock Bottom for two. Off to D-Von and we actually hear that Abyss has been a world champion. You never hear about that anymore and I’m not quite sure why.
Morgan and Abyss take over so the Dudleys say they’re out of here. Morgan goes after them and the fight is on again. Back in the ring and D-Von works over the knee of Abyss. Off to Ray who does the same which makes me think they’re needing a nap already. The fans, again, want tables. Morgan comes in and the fight is finally on.
Not much of a match so far as this is a lot of laying around and bad brawling. Morgan takes D-Von down with a big shoulder block as this finally speeds up a bit. Morgan does Old School to massive booing. He dives off the top to hit D-Von with a cross body which gets the crowd behind him again.
Morgan sets for the Hellavator on D-Von but Johnny Devine, the associate of Team 3D, pops Morgan with a chair from behind for two. Everything is already broken down if you didn’t get that yet. Double clothesline takes down 3D and brings in Abyss. Shock Treatment to Devine and hits ten punches in the corner to D-Von. Odd sight for some reason.
In a very impressive spot the Dudleys manage to get a Doomsday Device on Abyss. That was incredibly impressive. Morgan saves and Abyss is up seconds later. Chokeslam to D-Von gets two. Abyss picks up a chair but can’t manage to swing it. D-Von gets it but has it punched into his face by Morgan and the Black Hole Slam ends it.
Rating: C. Eh this wasn’t too bad. It’s the Dudleys vs. some random pairing so it’s kind of hard to really get into it. Morgan had so many random partners (ok so it was more like two) that it was hard to differentiate between them. Nothing special here but it wasn’t anything horrible so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.
Post match Ray cracks Morgan with a chair and does the same to Abyss but Ray puts the chair in Abyss’ hands and I think you know what the idea here is.
Various friends of the people in the X Title triple threat say their friend will win. It sounds like the beginning of a really stupid puzzle.
X–Division Title: Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Petey Williams vs. Consequences Creed
Let’s get this over with as it’s a random EVIL Muslim against two other guys. Williams is champion coming in. Creed is some big time American hero character like Apollo Creed. Williams is the home country favorite and gets a modest reaction. Rhaka Khan is with him for some reason. Sheik hits the floor early so it’s Williams vs. Creed.
Earl Hebner is the referee so we get the YOU SCREWED BRET chants. Bashir back in now and it’s your usual mostly entertaining spot fest for awhile now. Big dive by Creed takes both guys out and then he celebrates with the fans who likely should hate him. Two minutes in and the fans think this is awesome already. Williams gets a slingshot Codebreaker on Creed.
This is so spotty it’s unreal. By spotty I mean it’s do this move then go onto the next one. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it’s not as fun as it should be as it could be better structured. This is because of Shane Sewell being an overly fair referee so it’s supposed to just be Creed but Bashir said there was something fishy going on and it’s a triple threat.
Williams takes down both guys and the fans are into him. Basically the idea is that if he hits the Canadian Destroyer the roof will go off. A double one doesn’t work as both guys realize they have a guy helping them break it up and break it up with ease. Bashir gets a middle rope suplex on Williams but Creed dives in with a double guillotine legdrop for two. Destroyer to Creed is teased but Creed counters.
Williams gets a Sharpshooter to Bashir and of course we reference Montreal because EVERYONE wants to hear about that again right? That nearly 45 seconds of selling by Creed might be more than the whole match combined. The selling here is really quite bad and that’s what’s hurting it a lot. With all this lack of selling why should I buy into the moves? As I say that Williams gets the running Destroyer (flip Piledriver) and Bashir steals the pin and the title.
Rating: C+. It’s ok, but the problem with TNA is the same that WWE had: why in the world should I care about these lightweight matches? There’s no story to it other than a referee that has nothing to do with this match. It’s just there. There were some nice spots and some cool moves, but this match came and went and I’m not going to remember it in fifteen minutes or so, which is the truth of almost every X Division match that doesn’t have AJ in it. The same is true today and that’s not good.
Samoa Joe, the world champion, is here, over an hour into the show.
We recap the Knockouts Title match between Wilde and Love. Angelina is a witch and wants the title. That’s about it.
Knockouts Title: Taylor Wilde vs. Angelina Love
If nothing else Velvet looks great in more or less a bikini bottom. Oh and they have Cute Kip with them to annoy me. Wilde has one of those annoying videos where they show clips of her coming to the ring while she comes to the ring so you can never tell which is which. Wilde gets on the mic and says she isn’t going to be against three people tonight and brings out Rhyno. I get why I’ve never heard her talk otherwise.
Big brawl to start with both chicks landing punches and rolling around on the mat. Well you can’t argue they’re not giving the people what the want. Traci Brooks comes out to watch the match and take notes. She’s in charge of the division here for no apparent reason. Out to the floor where Velvet drills Taylor with a makeup kit to give Angelina the control. Angelina runs Taylor’s eyes along the top rope. It would help if there hadn’t been a clear 8 inches between her face and the rope but take what you can get I suppose.
Taylor comes back a bit and attempts a suplex from the middle rope. Love counters into kind of almost a bad Gordbuster off the middle rope to take over again. Taylor gets a quick rollup for two. She kicks Angelina’s head off and Kip comes in. Rhyno Gores him as Velvet gets on the apron and then knocked off so a Northern Lights Suplex ends Angelina.
Rating: D+. Pretty weak little match here but it wasn’t completely awful. This was another match when Angelina was still pretty bad in the ring. She would get a lot better, but that doesn’t mean that there was heat on any of these matches, because there certainly was none to be seen here.
We recap Lethal vs. Dutt in the Ladder of Love match. Both love So Cal Val and Val is tired of being in the middle of it. Lethal proposed to her and told her either she stop associating with Dutt or he’s gone. The solution of course: a ladder match to get her, whatever that entails. In other words, a single match is supposed to determine her feelings for one of these guys. What a freaking witch.
Oh and I almost forgot: these three were supposed to be the modern Hogan/Savage/Liz. Let that sink in for a minute.
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt
Aww they both brought flowers. If nothing else we can look at Val in a blue dress. Oh and if you can’t see the turn coming from a mile away here, you’re blind. Ladder of Love sounds like a really bad reality show that gets a big rating on network TV. It’s of course a big gymnastics exhibition to start us off. And now that we’re into a big feud and gimmick match, we’re told that Salinas has been attacked by Jackie in the bathroom and is gone for the night. How riveting.
Dutt is sent into the ladder early on as Lethal has dominated the entire time. Lethal gets a back drop onto the ladder which is bridged between the barricade and the ring to half kill Dutt. Lethal goes up but Dutt gets a springboat to get onto the ladder and make the save. The fans think this is awesome. Not entirely true but it’s getting there. Lethal puts a ladder on top of a ladder so it would be like a T if the vertical ladder was closed.
Sonjay crotches Lethal and West says Lethal is wearing a ladder as pants. Lethal gets caught in a Tree of Woe with his head in a ladder so Dutt hits a baseball slide to more or less kill him. Dutt gets some chairs because that’s what heels do I guess. Out to the floor now where Lethal can’t get a powerbomb onto a ladder but Dutt can get a neckbreaker onto said ladder.
This is pretty good stuff so far. West: We should put a woman on the line every time! Naturally Lethal can get back in almost immediately and we have a pair of ladders set up now. Lethal manages to get stuck laid across two ladders so Dutt hooks a camel clutch on top of the ladders in a pretty cool looking visual.
Lethal manages to flip Dutt over so he crashes to the mat. Jay’s foot is caught in the ladder though so Val comes in to help him out. Dutt gets in her face until Lethal helps her. While he’s checking on her Dutt tries to get up the ladder. Lethal chases him and naturally Val hits him low so that Dutt can get the win. They make out post match.
Rating: B. Rather fun match here with both guys hammering each other rather well. The ending was of course about as predictable as anything you could ask for but the buildup to it worked rather well. This more or less ended the interaction between these two and Dutt never meant anything anymore.
JB talks to Angle about the problems with Booker who isn’t here tonight. Angle says Joe’s name will never be in the same book as his. Christian sucks too because he’s from Canada. Oh and he remembers Jarrett too because they have to be joined at the hip every 8 seconds.
We recap LAX vs. Beer Money and their apparent hardcore match last month which looks rather softcore to me. Beer Money messed up Homicide’s eye with a beer bottle so Hernandez says a lot of incomprehensible things to be all tough.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX
This should be pretty good at least due to the talent in there. It’s the only thing that either guy in LAX is good at so this is as good as it’s getting. Beer Money is still kind of new here apparently and just won the titles last month. LAX has Hector Guerrero (Eddie’s more talented and dead ringer of a brother) with them. Jackie is with Beer Money to make things all the more annoying.
Storm has one of those football helmets with drinks in it. Homicide and Roode start wich Roode running early. I still don’t see the future world champion in him that everyone else claims to see and I’ve always found Homicide overrated so this isn’t exactly ideal conditions for me. Homicide jumps him but runs into a shot to the eye for Roode to take over again.
Hernandez makes a blind (ironic no?) tag in and drills Roode with a slingshot shoulder block. Jackie’s distraction lets the champions take over so that Hernandez can be beaten down. Off to Storm as we hear about how awesome Beer Money is. Hernandez almost gets a powerbomb on Storm but Roode gets a chop block to take him down. Double suplex has SuperMex in trouble.
Does anyone else laugh at a referee named Slick Johnson? The fans like LAX despite Roode being Canadian. The champions keep Hernandez from tagging out and call Homicide a very bad word and flip him off. Homicide gets a tag that is so hot that I missed the reaction to it. Have some enthusiasm there fans. DDT from the second rope gets two on Roode.
Spinebuster gets two for Roode as Hernandez saves. Everything breaks down with LAX in control here. Hernandez backdrops Homicide over the top and out to the floor to take out Roode. A big dive by Hernandez doesn’t happen since Storm spits beer in his face. Hector and Jackie get into it on the floor. A beer bottle shot by Homicide misses Storm.
Big dive by Hernandez takes out Storm so we’re back to Homicide vs. Roode in the ring. They counter finishers for a bit until the Gringo Cutter drills Roode for no cover. Gringo Killer is blocked by powder from Jackie (I guess the white stuff on his face is undetectable or something) and a Fisherman’s suplex from Roode ends Homicide in a rather short match.
Rating: D+. I didn’t like this one at all for some reason. An 8 minute tag title match feels far too short for some reason. There was zero heat from the crowd on the tags or the big spots at all which hurt it a lot also. The champions never seemed to be in anything resembling danger at all which hurt it a lot. Pretty weak match here and it didn’t click at all.
We recap Frank Trigg vs. AJ for one of his two matches in this company. Since he’s now a wrestler, this is an MMA match. No word on why they’re fighting, but they certainly are. It isn’t helping Trigg that he’s nearly a dead ringer for Angle.
Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles
Yeah because this is going to work very well. Trigg gets on the mic and somehow he’s managing to kill this crowd even further. He cuts one of the most painfully generic heel promos I’ve ever heard while holding the American Flag. SHUT UP AND GET THE HECK ON WITH THIS!!! The fans don’t care so of course Trigg keeps talking. FINALLY AJ gets out here to breathe some life into this place.
They’re doing five minute rounds here to make it all the stupid. I don’t watch wrestling to see MMA. If I wanted to see that I’d watch MMA! Why is that so complicated for so many wrestling companies? Are we supposed to buy that AJ would have a chance at all against Trigg in a legit MMA fight? You can only win by knockout or tap out here.
Naturally, Trigg owns AJ for the most part here, making AJ look completely weak and that there is no skill at all in wrestling. Nice job TNA. We hit the floor for a bit where AJ looks even stupider. Trigg gets about his 9th takedown in maybe two and a half minutes as the fans are clearly getting restless. What a great way to use one of the best guys on the roster!
The fans want wrestling to the shock of no one that thinks these things through. What’s TNA”s next great move? SHOW THE FANS CHANTING THAT! AJ has hit maybe two punches the whole time. The fans are booing the living heck out of this. LOUD Fire Russo chant now as Trigg spanks AJ after about the 112th takedown. The announcers try to say that Trigg is gaining respect for AJ or something like that. AJ gets an armbar to end the round and the bell rings so everyone thinks AJ won by tapout but it’s just a rest period instead to further tick the fans off.
The second round starts….and AJ accidentally hits Trigg low for a no contest. OH FREAKING NO! We really sat through six minutes of this nonsense to get to this? WOW. AJ hits the floor to be all ticked off. The fans chant THIS IS BULL as everyone is right. AJ wears Trigg out with a kendo stick post match to half booing/half cheering as this continues but it also was the awful ending. Trigg hasn’t been seen since.
Rating: P. As in PAY ATTENTION WRESTLING BOOKERS BECAUSE FANS DO NOT WANT TO WATCH FREAKING MMA ON A WRESTLING SHOW!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR FREAKING HEADS ALREADY!!! This was awful and made AJ look awful in case you couldn’t tell.
AJ shouts at the announcers that he’s a wrestler and that he doesn’t do that stuff. Holy shooting Batman!
Joe says that he’s like an animal with enemies closing in on him from all around. He talks about how he has no respect for Sting who has nothing to do with the main event. He talks about how Sting is never at any of the house shows because he’s here for the fame and not for the hard work. Good stuff here from the fat man.
Overly dramatic video about the world title match which is a triple threat with the challengers qualifying. And remember, the fans DO NOT KNOW Booker won’t be there. He’s in the video too so it’s not really helping things.
TNA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle
Each guy gets a brief video and then their actual entrance. It’s coming off like they have too much time on their hands which is odd as they had a good deal of matches and the tag title match was short. Sting comes out after Joe and the fight is on in the aisle! Could they make it any more obvious that this is the main event of BFG? AJ comes out to pull Joe off as we waste some more time.
Now we do big match intros. The introductions started almost ten minutes ago once these are done. The Instant Classic is a great nickname. Angle gets double teamed to start with Christian hitting a jumping back elbow off the middle rope. The idea is that Booker was supposed to more or less make it an unofficial tag so Angle is in trouble. Joe and Christian square off in the middle which I guess is supposed to be epic but it just isn’t.
Christian slaps him and the fight is on. Leg lariat takes the Canadian down as Angle is still down. There’s the bald guy and Joe grabs the Clutch out of nowhere which West thinks is a cover for no apparent reason. Ankle lock to Christian after Christian saved Angle. What a jerk! Angle suplexes Christian over the top and there goes the Canadian’s knee.
We hit the chinlock now as we’re really hammering in that whole waste time thing. Christian gets up and crotches Angle on the post before hitting a cross body on Joe for two. Angle pops back up as I guess his Olympic balls aren’t hurt by hitting a post. He gets a German on Joe and then snaps up the ropes to hit a belly to belly on Christian. Unprettier is blocked into another German as this is going very, very quickly and not in the best way you would think of.
Joe starts busting out Germans to Angle. Christian gets out of the MuscleBuster. Tower of Doom looks pretty good and Joe gets two on both guys. You would think that would somehow be more than three but not quite I guess. Angle tries to get a German to Christian off the apron to the floor but Christian counters into the Pendulum Kick. Angle grabs the ankle and jumps over to get it on in the ring.
Christian saves so he gets an ankle lock. Angle is like screw it and puts it on both guys at once. MuscleBuster to Christian but Angle distracts the referee so there’s a delayed cover for two. Joe hits a huge corkscrew tope con hilo to take out the challengers on the floor. It’s a cool looking move but I really want this match to end and soon. Back in the ring Angle gets the Slam to Joe and Christian adds a splash and the Unprettier but Angle pulls out the referee.
Angle drills the referee and everyone is down. Totally unprotected chairs shot to the head of Christian and Joe set up the ankle lock on Joe. I hate those things as they add nothing at all to the match and can hurt people badly. At least get a hand up or something guys. Jarrett comes down and drills Angle with the guitar, allowing Joe to hit a MuscleBuster to get the pin on Angle and retain. Jarrett raises Joe’s hand to end the show.
Rating: B-. Good match for the most part but the pacing was way off for the vast majority of it which hurts it a lot. There more or less was no building part or beginning part with the vast majority of the fifteen minutes feeling like one really long ending sequence. It’s not bad at all and some of the spots are good, but it’s more or less a throwaway match which isn’t what you want to end a PPV. Also Joe was about as obviously going to win as possible here.
Overall Rating: D. This show took me four days to get through. The wrestling is weak, the matches are forgettable at best and it’s a long commercial for Bound For Glory. The main point of this show seemed to be Joe making sure he got to Sting at BFG and everyone else just making sure they had spots there. This is a show that if you didn’t see you would miss absolutely nothing. The ladder match is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Totally boring show but not completely bad. Watch it if you can’t sleep.
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