Bound For Glory 2007
Date: October 14, 2007
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Well doing more BFG isn’t intentional but it’s better than no show. TNA shows are rather hard to find so this is all I’ve got at the moment. Again it’s the biggest show of the year and in this case the main event is Sting vs. Angle. Anyone else noticing a pattern of these shows? There’s a weak Monster’s Ball match and the rest looks completely unspectacular if there has ever been an unspectacular major show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a generic thing about being the next immortal icon and they use Hogan’s name. I give up. Angle is defending tonight if I forgot to mention that. I know I did but it sounds a bit better than I didn’t feel like typing it. I’m filling in space here if you didn’t get that.

Triple X vs. LAX

Senshi (Low Ki/Kaval) and Elix Skipper representing Triple X here. This is Ultimate X and for the #1 contender spot. Think that’s enough Xs in this match? XXX goes for the X almost immediately but LAX (see what I mean?) makes the save and it’s a big brawl to start. These matches are hard to call for the most part as they’re pretty all over the place. With just four guys though it’s far easier to do.

It’s so weird seeing Kaval out there over three years ago like this. Homicide gets a chance to make a run but Senshi makes the save. Both teams are pretty much just beating each other up here to wear them down (wouldn’t that cancel the beating up part?) so they can go up (I guess that gives up the advantage again) and pull the X down (are you getting my boredom here?)

Homicide gets his signature tope con hilo to take out Senshi. Hernandez goes up and JUMPS halfway across the cables and almost gets there that way. That guy is freaking scary. A lot of near grabs for both teams here but LAX is clearly the more dominant team here. Skipper goes all the way up to the top of the structure and hits a MASSIVE cross body to Homicide in the ring.

In a cool looking spot, Skipper and Homicide both do the look up at the ceiling crawl and hit a double neckbreaker to bring the other guy down. That was a new one. I’m not a fan of that overhead shot. Granted that might be the constant camera cuts that TNA is obsessed with. In a painful and STUPID looking spot, Homicide is put in the Tree of Woe as Senshi does the Warrior’s Way onto him.

If you’re Homicide, WHY WOULD YOU SIT UP? You know his finisher is the double stomp so why would you give him the right positioning for it? Mike Tenay says we’re in the ATL. My head hurts again. Skipper stops Hernandez from diving over the ropes which would have been cool to see. Border Toss by Hernandez to send Skipper flying to the other two guys on the floor. Hernandez gets the X with ease just afterwards.

Rating: B-. Bunch of big spots in there which were nice and the match worked pretty well. Hernandez is shown off as the mega star of the team which makes sense as he’s by far the bigger deal. This was a pretty good match but as usual with these matches it would help to have them be for the titles rather than a shot at a later date at said titles. But Pacman Jones is a tag champion at this point so we can’t have that match. Such is TNA.

We see Angle and Karen getting here earlier separately and at different times. Nash gets here too.

Running down of the card wastes some time.

Christian cuts off Tomko and AJ to talk about not being in the Fight for the Right Tournament. He should be in it and due to Joe he isn’t. AJ is happy to be home. He’s an idiot here. Tomko is actually serious.

Fight For the Right Tournament Stage One: Reverse Battle Royal

Dang it. Ok so this one might just hold the record for most ridiculous TNA concept. This is the beginning of a HUGE #1 contenders tournament. The winner of this match is the #1 seed in said tournament, which he would wind up losing anyway, making this COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

Anyway there are 16 people in this and you start on the floor. The first eight to get into the ring make it to part two. When those eight are in there’s a battle royal. When there are two left in the ring, they have a one on one match and the winner is the #1 seed. The other seeds are determined in the order you were eliminated.

Somehow this is slightly less complicated than the previous year’s tournament where the winner of the battle royal advanced to the finals and 6 other guys had qualifying matches to set up a triple threat where the winner met the battle royal winner to get a title shot. And people wonder why this company is loathed by so many people.

ANYWAY, the 16 people are Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer), Havok (Johnny Devine), Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Eric Young, Robert Roode, Chris Harris and Junior Fatu (Rikishi, who was there like a week).

Fatu gets in first. This is so stupid. I know there are issues with getting ring time in this company but this is ridiculous. Kaz and Roode are in. Shelley is in fourth. Hoyt accidentally drops Young in and there’s Sabin. Hoyt goes in seventh and Storm just beats Harris in to give us the 8th guy. Let’s get this over with. Young puts Storm out seconds in, making him the #8 seed in the tournament. Naturally he would win his first round match as he had to do the least wrestling, making it easier on him. See what I mean by flaws in the system?

Young goes after Rikishi who was supposed to be a huge deal I guess. He chokeslams Roode and stacks up four people in the corner for the splash. Stinkface to Hoyt as this is boring. The Andre treatment takes care of him though. He would make the semi-finals of the tournament and then leave the company.

The Guns go nuts with an insane double submission on Roode and Young. They move Young’s legs so he has an Indian Deathlock on Roode before putting a crossface on Roode and an abdominal stretch on Young. It doesn’t accomplish anything but it looks awesome. Think of it as a Divas match.

Shelley is gone. Kaz hits his slingshot DDT on Sabin and then dumps him too. We’re down to Hoyt, Kaz, Roode and Young. Kaz is out as well. Hoyt like an idiot goes for a moonsault and gets thrown out because he’s a freaking idiot. The final two….ok make that three as Sabin is still in there I guess, are Sabin, Roode and Young. And scratch Sabin….who apparently is Sabin as they apparently misspoke earlier. I give up. Roode vs. Young is the final.

Roode is a power guy still here and isn’t in a tag team. The tournament sets up Sabin vs. Shelley which is of course good but means nothing compared to them in the X Title final years later. These two had been feuding and were stablemates years ago. And then Young rolls up Roode in a small package to end it. Young would lose to Storm in the first round and Kaz would beat Christian to win the tournament.

Rating: F+. This was perhaps the most overdone match in history. Seriously, is it that hard to have a battle royal to determine who the #1 contender is? Couldn’t they just have a tournament with a random draw? Apparently not as they decided to just combine them and throw in a one on one match too. This is what we mean by overbooking. You don’t have to do a big complicated thing when a simple thing would work fine and in this case much better. Stupid match and VERY stupid concept.

We recap AJ/Tomko vs. Team Pacman. In other words, a man that was banned from the NFL for being involved in a shooting that paralyzed a man is a tag team champion in TNA. To his credit he bought 1500 tickets to the show and gave them away as prizes to kids in Atlanta schools who got good grades and had good conduct.

Ron Killings, as in R-Truth, says that the NFL has stopped Pacman from wrestling so they have a replacement named Consequences Creed. Pacman talks like an idiot about going for a ride or something.

Karen and Kurt argue even more.

Tag Titles: Team Pacman vs. AJ Styles/Tomko

Keep in mind Team Pacman doesn’t actually have Pacman in this. Creed is the guy that dressed like Apollo Creed and is named for Truth and Consequences. AJ and Creed start us off here. Creed hits a forearm in the corner and that’s about all he’s got as far as interesting stuff goes. He’s cool to watch to a degree but at the end of the day he’s a guy dressed up like a fictional character with a stupid name.

Truth vs. Tomko now. Tomko is an IWGP tag champion at this point. Thanks for again informing us about things that have zero to do with TNA. Truth is doing the exact same stuff he does today in WWE. This is a rather boring match as it’s pretty clear that Pacman is losing here as he can’t wrestle so the appeal is gone. Granted that would imply it was there in the first place so take that for what it’s worth.

Everything breaks down and we get a big melee. AJ gets thrown into the corner and is down. Truth vs. Tomko at the moment. Pacman tries to get involved and is just annoying. Creed takes Tomko out but AJ hits a BIG shooting star to the floor and wipes out all the non whites in this thing. Pacman pulls out a bunch of money and throws it in the air so what when Truth gets a rollup Hebner picks up the money instead of counting. AJ and Tomko hit their double team finisher for the titles on Truth.

Rating: D. Just boring as all belief here with zero drama. Thankfully Pacman was gone after this as no one liked him and he made TNA look freaking stupid. This was just idiotic and such a waste of talent like AJ and even Truth just wasting him like this. Pacman was a waste of money and a total eye rolling moment who didn’t ever get to wrestle due to the NFL. At least this was the end of him for the most part.

Karen whines even more and says Angle keeps the title tonight because it’s the money. She goes up to Kevin who is hitting on some blonde. She tries to get Nash to talk to Kurt which doesn’t work. Oh and there’s the required Scott Hall reference.

We recap Daniels vs. Lethal where Lethal is defending. He’s Black Machismo here too.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Christopher Daniels

Lethal won the title beating Angle who had all three titles including both tag belts and had three title matches at one PPV. You know, because he wanted to help the young guys. And now we talk about the Angles and Sting for later tonight. Nice slingshot rana by Lethal and a WEAK suicide dive hits Daniels on the floor. Their hands touched and that’s about it.

They’re having some weird issues with making contact with each other. They’re doing this very odd style here and not much is going on here. Lethal gets a crucifix for two. They’re just kind of doing moves out there with nothing special going on at all. Daniels can’t beat him and starts to snap which is an old standard for wrestling but it usually works and is here kind of.

Top rope rana by Daniels is shoved off. The big elbow misses too though and Daniels gets two off of the miss. They’re clearly almost at the end here and the fans think it’s awesome. No, it really isn’t. Lethal gets the Lethal Combination (backbreaker and Downward Spiral) off the top for the pin to retain. Cool ending to a weak match.

Rating: C-. This just didn’t do it for me at all. It was ok at best but it just came off as uneventful. I have never gotten the appeal of Daniels or his style whatsoever. They had this weird non chemistry going and it wasn’t working for me. Not a horrible match but at the same time it didn’t do much.

The Steiners talk about Team 3D. They’re actually doing this. Rick looks AWFUL.

The recap talks about how Scott got very sick and was literally on his deathbed in Puerto Rico but came back as a face. He can’t have a wrestling match so we get a 2/3 tables match.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

They point out that the Steiners now reside in Atlanta to HAMMER in the face push. Big brawl to start as you have to get two table put throughs out of three to win this. Well it’s better than a regular table match. I’m not sure how but it prevents winning on a fluke I guess. Rick thankfully is in a shirt as we get the Steiner pose. The Dudleys try to leave and that goes nowhere.

Beer to the face of D-Von as they’re in the crowd. Granted this isn’t so much a waste of time as you can go through a table anywhere. Big brawl in the stands where not a lot is going on as there are no tables in sight. Scott and Bubba are brawling as are the other pair. There’s the first table brought in but it’s not set up yet. We’re back around the ring now.

In the ring now and Rick goes through one on a 3D. Scott is on the floor and there aren’t any eliminations it seems which I like better. Scott fights out of a super bomb and hits a Frankensteiner where he does nothing and Bubba has to jump for the flip, hitting the back of his head on the edge, more or less breaking through the table with his neck. FREAKING OW MAN.

It’s tied up at one here as D-Von misses a splash. How was Steiner a world champion in WCW? I think you can count him as another example of a guy making money and getting as far as he did because WCW was in the place it was rather than his talent. Bubba whips Scott with a big leather belt as Rick has apparently disappeared.

Scott is put on a table and it just kind of collapses which doesn’t count as it’s not a guy being put through it which makes sense. Scott has his beard braided which looks very stupid. The Dudleys put him on another table and go for his injured throat. The Guns run down for the save. D-Von misses a chair shot and the Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying out there but it didn’t work that well. The two old teams going at it were supposed to comprise a dream match but it didn’t work. Why should I want to see either of these teams rather than the Guns who had a run in here? It’s more old guys that aren’t worth much doing their thing. That’s rarely a good thing and this was no exception. Having the 2/3 thing was a nice little twist though and it helped it a good deal.

We talk to the new Knockouts who were brought in for the first Knockouts Title match. There were five total: ODB, Talia Madison, Shelly Martinez and Angel Williams. Angel later added ina to her first name and Talia changed her name to Velvet Skye. The girls run away as Kong is behind JB and makes a scary face.

We get a weak recap which more or less is just a slideshow of the girls in the match.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is a ten girl match where you have a regular gauntlet but it’s over the top until we get to the final two. Yep we’re having two battle royals. Kong debuted at Impact so she’s brand new here. We start with Ms. Brooks and Jackie. Good night WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS STAY AROUND? No one cares about her at all and she was always there. Quit shaking your chest because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM.

Brooks gets a big boot to the side of the head of the annoying one but gets caught in a German suplex. Shelly Martinez is in third. Oh…these girls can’t do much. Kong comes in fourth and it’s on. Kong takes like 40 seconds to get to the ring out of a minute.

ODB comes in fifth as Jackie puts out Brooks but Kong just goes off, getting rid of Jackie (GO KONG!) and Martinez. Angelina Love (Angel Williams at this point) has the music, the looks and the stage pose already as she’s 6th. Christy comes in and is still amazing looking Kong beats the tar out of her with a rack where Christy’s feet almost hit her head. A Batista Bomb hits as Gail Kim is eighth.

Everyone gangs up on Kong as the medics take out Christy to eliminate her for the most part. The three in the ring get rid of Kong whose shirt flies up as Talia Madison (Velvet Skye) is ninth. Roxxi who is a voodoo chick with hair at this point is last. Love apparently went out off camera so we have four left: Roxxi, ODB, Gail and Velvet.

Gail puts out Velvet as we get a GREAT shot of her. ODB is out also and we have our one on one match. Gail gets an insane looking submission hold on Roxxi which was like a sideways Octopus Hold. Gail looks sexy in those shorts to put it mildly. They really make her look good. Roxxi botches a jackknife pin for two. Gail hits Finlay’s Celtic Cross to end it and win the title.

Rating: C-. Again, is there a reason to mix things up like they did here that I’m just not getting? Why not have an actual tournament rather than this weird hybrid thing? It wasn’t bad I guess but at the same time this just didn’t work like they wanted it to. This could have been a lot better as a simple one on one match but this just didn’t do it for me like they wanted it to. Not horrible though.

Nash tries to talk to Angle who is just getting ready with about 45 minutes before the match starts. Great to see him preparing like that. Nash can’t get him to drop the match and he won’t have his back tonight. Again more old guys talking about stuff that doesn’t make sense.

We recap Joe vs. Christian which is about respect apparently. And naturally we have something thrown in there as Matt Morgan is the guest referee.

Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe

Morgan is the bodyguard of Cornette so that’s why he’s here. Not sure if that makes sense but whatever. Christian is a heel here if you’re wondering and has never been pinned or tapped in the company. Joe gets the big Samoan entrance with the fire dancing as he had on occasion. Long feeling out process to start us off as Christian plays the cowardly heel perfectly.

Finally Joe gets his in the corner and gets a lot of Face Washes but misses the running boot. He hits what we would call the Rough Ryder off the middle rope for two. All Joe so far. Joe chops him on the back which is something you don’t often see. Christian appears to be out cold on the apron. Joe is like screw it and hits a big old suicide dive to almost end Christian. ALL Joe for the first five minutes.

Morgan of course has had nothing to say so far. Joe kicks Christian into the barrier which more or less explodes as Christian FINALLY gets a counter to hit a DDT onto the floor and Joe is in trouble. He fights out of everything but still winds up on his back. Christian misses the splash and they slug it out. I think they’re going for the epic encounter here but it’s really not clicking like they want it to.

Morgan won’t let Christian leave so Joe again is like forget this and hits the flying fat man spinning corkscrew plancha to crush Christian. THIS is the Joe that was the hottest thing in the world when Kurt showed up to challenge him. Clutch and Unprettier are both reversed and Joe gets a Buckle Bomb. Christian gets a powerbomb out of the corner with feet on the ropes for two. This is rapidly getting awesome.

Clutch is countered again and we head up to the corner. A headbutt sends Christian to the floor and Joe is down in the ring. And here’s Tomko because we have to overbook this. Tomko goes at it with Morgan so AJ can sneak down. He goes for the forearm but Morgan makes the save. Morgan chases both of them off with a chair but Christian gets a low blow and the Unprettier for two.

Christian hooks on the Clutch but it only gets two arm drops and here comes the fat man. Muscle Buster hits and there’s the Clutch from the master of it and Christian taps for his first clean loss in the company.

Rating: B+. I really liked this as it was a rather competitive match. Both guys were out there working hard and this looked like a match that belonged on the biggest show of the year. I really liked the lack of actual interference as it tends to taint a match like this. This came off very well and it came off like a major match should. Good match.

And now let’s make sure to forget about the two guys that just had the match of the night to talk about Nash and Sting more. Why is Nash getting like four segments here when he’s not even wrestling tonight? He talks to Sting whose son Angle pushed or something. Nash says Angle is all he has and that’s all he can do to get back to the spotlight as he’s too banged up. This is idiotic.

We have to have the Monster’s Ball recap now because it’s a tradition here. I’m REALLY not a fan of having this here now as it’s such a letdown after seeing a very good match like we just did. Don’t believe me that it’ll be weak? Look at the lineup.

Raven vs. Rhyno vs. Black Reign vs. Abyss

Yeah it’s just a bit hardcore match in between the two big wrestling matches. Don’t you love the way this company books things? It just sounds like a stupid match. We get going before Abyss is here and scratch that as he’s here now. Raven takes down Abyss and here come more of the weapons. Rhyno puts a trash can between Reign’s legs and hits it with a golf club.

This match really is taking me out of the show as all of a sudden the match comes off as uninteresting and totally unimportant. Granted it might feel like that because that’s the situation. Rhyno misses a Gore and goes through some kind of wall and Rhyno is in trouble. Raven is busted open and drops a big elbow off the balcony onto Abyss to put him through a table.

Basically it’s down to Reign and Abyss who is more or less dead. Ok scratch that as Raven is back. Shattered Dreams to Raven and they cut away from the impact. Abyss brings in the tacks/glass but Goldie blocks him. Rhyno is back in now as almost everyone is busted open. Gore to Reign but Raven knocks out everyone with weapon shots.

Raven busts out the bag of stuff and here’s James Mitchell to yell at Raven. There are the glass and the tacks and of course since Raven laid them out he winds up going into them, this time through the means of the Black Hole Slam. And now the match is over. I still don’t care at all.

Rating: D. It came, it happened, you know what to expect here, Abyss gains nothing and the other three still mean nothing. Take us to the main event to get me back into this show now.

We talk about how both have history in Atlanta. Sting it’s more from a company based in Atlanta but whatever. This is nothing special but it gives a theme to stuff though. No mention of the son though.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

I guess Nash couldn’t make it to the match. What do you mean he was never in this? He’s gotten more camera time than anyone else tonight so how can he not be in the match? Angle is defending remember. Not that it means anything for the most part but figured it needed to be pointed out. Bit match intros are still fun no matter how many times we’ve heard them.

Big heat on Angle so he’s got that going for him at least. They feel each other out to start. One time they need to feel each other up to start just for a change of pace. They trade arm work and Sting keeps offering clean breaks. Sting outwrestles him a bit and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. His hip might be a bit hurt. Lot of feeling out process here so far with no one really getting an advantage at all.

They hit the floor and Angle’s bald head hits the table. Angle’s shoulder hits the post but he manages to get a German to get out of the Death Drop. Another belly to belly puts Sting down. Double clothesline puts both guys down though and we wait for Nash. Sting wins a striking contest as they crank it up again. Sting hits a spinebuster (???) for two.

A pair of splashes hit and a bulldog puts Angle down. Sting, ever the idiot, doesn’t go for a finisher but rather goes up top against Kurt Angle. After he comes crashing down Angle gets the Slam countered and we hit the Rolling Germans for two. Ankle lock goes on but Sting gets a Bret Hart caliber counter to hook the Scorpion. That was AWESOME looking.

And here’s Karen to screw things up because we have to have more people in the main event than usual. Nash comes in and lays out Sting as Karen is taken out. Angle Slam hits for two as the Nash/Karen thing proves to be relatively pointless. A top rope Sting splash misses as Angle gets the knees up for two.

Kurt goes up and busts out a 450! He completely misses Sting as in his toes didn’t even hit Sting but who cares about that as it looked COOL! Ankle Lock goes on but Sting rolls him into Nash. And down goes the referee as Sting hits the Death Drop. Why do they have to overbook it???

Another referee comes out and Nash breaks it up again. Dang it go away! He comes in and beats up Sting so Sting beats up both of those two. Angle gets the bat but Sting hits him with it instead and crotches Nash. Death Drop FINALLY ends this. And then he lost the title back to Angle TWO DAYS later and Angle held it until April when Joe won it. Yep that’s TNA for you.

Rating: C+. This was good but definitely not great. The Nash and Karen stuff was just a waste of time. What did Nash add to this match at all? The overbooking hurt what was otherwise a good match. Sting winning to end Angle’s very long reign was the right choice, although having him lose it the Impact after the followup show was stupid. Although then again this is TNA. Decent match though but not great at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Well it’s not horrible. That’s about as high as I can give it though as there were parts on here that were just bad. The biggest issue I have here: there were FIVE gimmick matches out of nine total and you could argue that Joe vs. Christian was one as well given the enforcer. That’s just WAY too high and is bordering on a WWE gimmick PPV. There were good moments here but they’re outweighed by the bad which drags this down. Not the worst show ever but not a great one at all.

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Bound For Glory 2006
Date: October 22, 2006
Location: Compuware Sports Arena, Plymouth Township, Michigan
Attendance: 3,600
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the biggest show of the year for TNA and they’re not in Orlando for once. The main event here is Sting vs. Jarrett because that’s what they decided it should be, despite the fans screaming for Joe for months. Joe is in a pointless Monster’s Ball match instead of anything important. I watched this show and remember thinking there was a chance that Joe could run in somehow but it didn’t happen. Also tonight Angle is the guest referee is in the main event because who needs to have the biggest acquisition the company has ever had wrestling on the biggest show of the year? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Henry Ford and how Detroit rose up because of people like him. It’s about following your dreams or something. The voiceover guy talks about how this is all about overcoming obstacles and achieving your dreams or whatever. As usual it goes way too long.

The set looks more like the old weekly PPV sets.

Battle Royal

This is officially the Kevin Nash Open Invitational X-Division Gauntlet Battle Royal. In other words, it’s a sixteen man Royal Rumble for only X-Division guys. Nash comes out in a suit with a bowling trophy. The first entrant is the debuting Austin Starr to face #2 Sonjay Dutt. Every sixty seconds someone else comes in. As usual it’s a regular match once we get down to two. The fans are split so Nash talks about being a legendary high flier.

Maverick Matt is in at #3. His minute has absolutely nothing happening so here’s Lethal in at #4. He speeds things up a bit and gets a chant in his name. Lethal and Dutt are semi-regular partners so they take over the match. Austin knocks Lethal down and does his strut. Nash: “I like this Starr guy. I hope he does better than Glacier.” A-1, not a small guy for the most part, is #5.

Spinebuster takes Lethal down and A-1 is told he can’t wrestle. Everyone is still in and here’s Zach Gowen at #6. He’s the one legged guy from WWE in 2004. He spends thirty seconds getting to the ring and we get a Johnny Ace reference for some reason. Nash: “You two dudes are dynamic.” Kaz is #7 as we still haven’t had an elimination. Matt and Kaz, former tag partners, throw out Dutt.

Sirelda, a REALLY weird looking chick that is another attempt to recreate Chyna, is #8 and she beats up various men. Starr kicks her low and A-1 hits a BIG clothesline to put her out. Kaz and Matt knock him out immediately as Shark Boy is #9. The fans love Sharky and nothing happens until Shelley, getting the pop of the night so far, comes in at #10. He spits water in Kaz’s face and the fans cheer for him even more.

D-Ray 3000 is #11. He’s a blaxploitation character who hung out with Shark Boy. They team up for a Bushwackers battering ram and throw out Matt. By my math we’ve had eleven entrants and four eliminations so far. #12 is Johnny Devine and he throws out Gowen in seconds. Elix Skipper is #13 and he takes down Shelley and Lethal on his entrance with a double clothesline. Kaz tries a springboard move like an idiot and Starr puts him out.

Short Sleeve Sampson, as in one of Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling guys, is #14. D-Ray and Shark Boy go out at the same time. Starr holds up the midget time after time over the ropes but won’t toss him. #15 is SCREAMIN NORMAN SMILEY!!! Smiley and Samson hit stereo Big Wiggles before Shelley throws Samson onto Shark Boy. Samson chases Slick Johnson around the ring until Petey Williams is the final entrant at #16.

Johnson comes into the ring and shoves Smiley and Skipper out despite not being in the match. Ok so we have Shelley, Devine, Williams, Lethal and Starr. Williams throws out Johnston to get rid of that stupidity. Williams charges at Petey and gets sent to the apron, only to hit his slingshot Codebreaker. There’s the Canadian Destroyer but Shelley throws Williams out. Starr dumps Devine and Shelley to get us down to a one on one match with Starr vs. Lethal for the win.

Lethal hits a quick release Dragon Suplex for two. He goes up but Austin knocks him down and hits the brainbuster for the win. The one on one part lasted maybe a minute.

Rating: C. This was what it was. Having the one minute intervals was a good idea because most of these people aren’t important enough to warrant two minutes without anyone new being put in there. The match itself probably ran longer than it should have to open the biggest show of the year, but it was fast paced enough to work I guess.

Post match Shelley yells at Nash while Starr gets his trophy.

We get a clip of LAX beating down AMW and Gail Kim taking the Border Toss.

AMW yells about LAX but tonight they’re in a fourway match which has nothing to do with LAX. Sure why not.

The Naturals vs. Team 3D vs. James Gang vs. America’s Most Wanted

The Naturals are the #1 contenders and managed by Shane Douglas. Why they’re not challenging for the titles tonight is beyond me but whatever. The James Gang is the New Age Outlaws. All of the teams other than AMW has something to say but nothing really gets said if you get what I mean. Harris vs. Stevens starts us off with Stevens speeding things up quickly. Harris dropkicks him into the corner so Ray can tag himself in.

One fall to a finish here. Ray beats up both members of AMW but BG tags himself in, resulting in a mirror image of the Flip Flop and Fly elbow. D-Von and Kip come in and slam each other into the mat. I’m barely able to keep up with this match as they’re coming in and out at will. Storm and Douglas go to the corner and Storm falls into the Tree of Woe. Harris climbs up and Stevens comes in for a four man Tower of Doom to take them all down, even with Storm still caught in the Tree.

Catatonic to BG is countered and he hits the Pumphandle Slam for two. Eye of the Storm takes down Stevens but D-Von takes him down, only to walk into a standing tornado DDT from Douglas. We’re in the parade of finishers here. Stevens sets for a superplex on D-Von but Bubba comes in to hit a Doomsday Device. What’s Up to Douglas and they set for the tables but Stevens makes the save. Natural Disaster (elevated Stunner) takes out D-Von for two. Stevens runs into Douglas and walks into the 3D for the pin.

Rating: D. What a mess! The James Gang and AMW fell into a black hole for the last two minutes of that and there’s no way to keep track of most of what was going on here. This would have been much better as an elimination match, but for all intents and purposes that’s what happened at the end anyway. Bad match with WAY too much stuff going on. Also does this make 3D the #1 contenders? They beat the Naturals who already were, but I doubt that’s what’s going on.

Shane Douglas comes back again post match and yells at the Naturals.

JB is outside Joe’s locker room but finds Jake Roberts instead. Roberts is refereeing the Monster’s Ball match for some reason. He doesn’t say much but I think he’s drunk. No real indication for why, but I figured I’d play the odds.

We recap the Monster’s Ball match. Joe stole the world title belt (See? It was right there) and Abyss agreed to go get it in exchange for the first title shot. Abyss got the belt but Raven and Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) beat Abyss up before he could deliver it to Cornette. This is what the hottest guy arguably in wrestling at this point was doing for the biggest show of the year. Not being in the world title match, but fighting Spike Dudley. This company deserved to be stuck in mediocrity like it always was.

Samoa Joe vs. Brother Runt vs. Raven vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball which basically means hardcore. Jake Roberts is guest referee. This is also the third match in a row that isn’t a simple one on one or tag match. Everyone jumps Joe to start and knock him to the floor. Raven and Runt team up on Abyss with Runt being knocked to the outside. Runt brings in a chair and Raven hits his drop toehold on Abyss into the chair but Joe comes back in to make people care. Joe hits the Facewash on Raven but walks into a chokeslam.

Abyss runs over the ECW guys and throws Runt into the crowd from the ring to emulate Bigelow’s famous spot. Raven clotheslines Abyss to the floor and dives on him, which Abyss shrugs off without even leaving his feet. Joe hits a BIG corkscrew dive onto all three to put them all down while landing on his feet. Raven pops up and hits Joe with a Silence of the Lambs style mask of his.

They go up the ramp and Joe is knocked through a table off the ramp. Runt and Abyss climb up part of the set and Runt is chokeslammed onto a platform which doesn’t have much give at all. Something happens which results in Abyss landing on Runt but the camera is zoomed in on Roberts. The replay shows that it was kind of an elbow drop. Nice production work there guys.

Raven throws Joe through another table in a vain attempt to make us believe he won’t win. Is there a point to Roberts being referee at all here? He hasn’t done anything. Abyss gets two on Runt but Raven saves. Abyss drops an Earthquake splash down for two on Raven. Joe comes in to break up Shock Treatment by pounding on Abyss. He misses the backsplash but kicks Abyss low instead.

Powerslam onto a chair gets two. Raven drop toeholds Joe to the floor but Abyss knocks him down and loads up the tacks. Jake pulls out his bag but Raven jumps him and loads up a DDT on Jake. Abyss pours out the tacks but Joe pulls down the ropes to prevent Raven from going into the tacks via the Black Hole Slam. Joe knocks Abyss to his knees and hits the senton backsplash to put Abyss’ face into the tacks. Raven breaks up the choke but Jake DDTs him so that the MuscleBuster can give Joe the pin.

Rating: D. I know this is a sweeping statement, but this might be the most questionable choice in TNA history. Why in the world was Joe in this match? Jake added NOTHING here. He counted slow and I guess he didn’t hurt anything, but what difference did it make to have a guest referee? The match was your usual garbage but no one bought anyone but Joe having a chance here. Also did Runt fall into the same hole the James Gang and AMW fell into in the previous match?

Jake puts the snake on Raven post match.

Eric Young is panicking over possibly losing in the loser gets fired match. His opponent, Larry freaking Zbyszko, comes up and says he’s already got Young beaten.

We recap Larry vs. Young. Larry was a boss in the company but got corrupt and cost Eric a match for his job. Cornette reinstated him in a loser gets fired match. This is your first one on one match of the night and we’re over an hour into the show. Let that sink in for a minute.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

The fans are totally behind Eric here. They want Larry fired so he stalls as usual. Eric points at Larry and the fans boo, then he point at himself and the fans cheer. No contact about a minute and a half in. They lock up and Larry hits the spinning back kick and the abdominal stretch. Eric reverses and the referee takes a shot. Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko is getting a referee bump. Larry pulls out a foreign object but gets hit low. Eric gets the object and hits Larry for the pin.

Rating: F. If you don’t get why this is an F, you’re on your own.

Video on Senshi accompanied by Mortal Kombat, which is sponsoring the show.

Here’s Jim Cornette to fill in some time. He can barely talk (I don’t know how to handle this) due to being sick so he sounds like he has a stable of horses in his voice. Cornette says he should be in intensive care but there was no way he was missing this. If Joe interferes in the main event tonight, he’s removed from the roster. That draws out Angle who wants to fight someone right now.

Kurt says he doesn’t need a buffer between himself and Joe…and here’s the fat Samoan himself. They start brawling on the floor but security makes the save. WHY IS THIS MATCH NOT ON THIS SHOW??? They both break through security and Joe shouts at Cornette to let him fight tonight. This company seriously made my head hurt at times.

We recap Senshi vs. Sabin. There’s no real story here, other than Sabin is the challenger. If there’s another story to it, the recap doesn’t mention it. I think it’s a rematch.

X-Division Title: Senshi vs. Chris Sabin

Joe has been ejected from the arena. Every time this story gets stupider the harder my head shakes. They fight over a lockup to start and both guys hit various forms of kicks which results in Senshi taking over. A big kick gets two. They slug it out and Sabin fires off some forearms but walks into a double boot in the corner for two. Senshi hooks a body scissors on the mat to slow things down.

That doesn’t last long so Senshi slams him for two. They chop it out and Senshi comes back with the kicks. They go into the corner and Sabin pounds on his back but Senshi stops him cold with a standing Liger Kick. Senshi tries to get a running start but Sabin takes him down with a springboard missile dropkick. Sabin kicks him to the floor and hits a great suicide dive to the outside. Back in Sabin hits a running enziguri and puts Senshi in the Tree of Woe (popular position tonight) and hits the hesitation dropkick for two.

Sabin loads up Cradle Shock but Senshi counters into a dragon sleeper, but it’s quickly broken. Another Liger Kick misses and Sabin hits a springboard DDT for two. These near falls are getting really close. They go to the corner with Senshi trying a rolling sunset flip but instead of covering he jumps to his feet and hits a standing double stomp for two. A springboard back kick gets the same.

Senshi misses a charge in the corner and Sabin hits a HUGE running boot to the face which might have knocked out a tooth. Cradle Shock gets two with the referee messing up his count and stopping a half second before the kickout happened. They go to the corner again with Senshi looking to superplex him, but instead he walks backwards on the middle rope to fire off some HARD kicks. Warrior’s Way gets a delayed two as Sabin gets his foot on the ropes. There’s a modified dragon sleeper but Sabin won’t tap. Senshi pulls back to fire off elbows to the head, but he stops for a second and Sabin rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Good stuff here again as the X Division was on fire at this point. The idea here was them hitting each other with everything they had and getting bigger and bigger and then Sabin using a basic hold to get the pin and it worked very well. Sabin played off the fact that Senshi was going to be very intense and therefore he’d miss something easy like that. That’s psychology at work and it’s a rare thing to see in a match like this, but it worked here.

Christian cuts off JB and rants about Rhyno talking about growing up on the streets of Detroit, but no one cares about him. Christian gave Rhyno a concussion but that’s nothing compared to what’s coming to him tonight. He won’t get invited to Rhyno’s house for dinner this year, but it doesn’t matter because his aunt’s food sucked.

We recap Christian vs. Rhyno. They’re old friends but Christian lost the world title and snapped over it. Christian gave him a Conchairto which gave him a concussion, then he hit him in the head again with another chair. Tonight is Rhyno’s chance to get even.

Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

This is an 8 Mile Street Fight which should be good. Rhyno comes through the crowd and goes straight through the entrance to meet Christian in the parking lot. Christian gets slammed onto a car and thrown into whatever Rhyno can find to throw him into. They climb onto a zamboni machine and Rhyno gets in the driver’s seat. He drives the machine with Christian on top into the arena. Rhyno climbs up to pound on Christian who falls off the machine.

Christian gets away down by the ramp and picks up a fake street lamp, only to get it ripped out of his hands and rammed into his chest. This is total domination so far. Rhyno throws in four chairs and hits Christian with a street lamp before Christian can get to one of the chairs. He loads up the Gore but Christian takes his head off with a chair shot. Rhyno shrugs that off and they go into the crowd with Christian running away even more.

After ramming Christian into some hockey glass they go back to the ring and Rhyno sets up a table at ringside. Back inside and Rhyno suplexes him down and puts up another table in the corner. Christian picks up an 8 Mile Road street sign and CRACKS Rhyno in the head with it. This is the first breather Christian has had. He goes to the floor and pulls out a ladder as Rhyno is busted open and might have another concussion. Christian charges with the ladder but Rhyno drop toeholds him into the ladder.

DDT gets two for Christian and they’re both spent. Rhyno is gone from the concussion and a ladder shot to the head makes it even worse. Christian goes under the ring again and comes up with a straightjacket and another chair. Rhyno gets tied up in the jacket and Christian grabs a pair of chairs to set up the Conchairto but Rhyno moves. Using just his legs and his head he tries a comeback and manages to get Christian down. The referee unhooks the jacket and they fight to the apron in front of the table.

Rhyno PILEDRIVES HIM THROUGH THE TABLE to put both guys down again. THAT gets two so Rhyno loads up the Gore, but Christian moves to send him through the table. It gets two, as does an Unprettier onto the metal part of the broken table. With no idea what else to do, Christian piles up everything on top of Rhyno and hits about eight chair shots onto the pile to crush Rhyno, which FINALLY gets the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t say this that often, but that was AWESOME. I’m not a fan of the street fights, but this one was really intense with a feeling that someone had to do something big to get the win. The piledriver was awesome, as were the kickouts from Rhyno. Christian finally just pounding the tar out of Rhyno with everything he had until Rhyno couldn’t move an inch was a great finish. Loved this.

Konnan rants about raising the violence tonight and how they’re not sorry for what they did to Gail. They fight Styles/Daniels for the titles in a cage tonight.

We recap the tag title match and the idea is that Konnan says that putting a cage up doesn’t matter because they’re used to borders. Daniels got kidnapped in a way and beaten down three on one. The idea is that LAX is this rapidly growing powerful team that has to be stopped before they become unstoppable. They’ve traded the titles a few times as well so this is the final blowoff match.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels are the champions. The champs run in and the brawl is on. Unfortunately they have to tag in this which really takes away the violence aspect of it. I wouldn’t bet on it lasting long though. AJ and Homicide start with the dropkick spot putting the murder inspired one down. Off to Daniels as the champions hit a combination clothesline/belly to back suplex for two.

Styles comes back in for a backbreaker for two. AJ gets sent into the cage and it’s off to Hernandez. Styles moves around quickly and manages a tag but gets sent into the cage anyway. Homicide’s torndado DDT is countered but SuperMex takes his head off with a clothesline. The challengers look like they’re setting for a Doomsday Device but Hernandez drops him backwards and Homicide hits a top rope elbow for two. Nice change of pace. AJ is busted but we didn’t get a shot of him until now.

Konnan slides in an object to Homicide which goes into Daniels’ head. It appears to be a fork but Hebner doesn’t see it. Off to Hernandez to give Daniels a neck rub. Homicide gets a bottle of tequila from somewhere and spits some into Daniels’ face. They go up top and Daniels hits a sitout hiptoss for two to break the momentum. There’s the tag to AJ who hits the backflip into the reverse DDT for two. Everything breaks down as you would expect it to and Daniels clotheslines Homicide over and over.

The champions go high low on Homicide and are firmly in control. Hernandez has his face rammed into the cage and AJ hits the Pele on Homicide for two. Now Homicide gets the fork put in his head. AJ has no problem with the referee seeing that but Homicide hid it earlier. Hernandez starts going on another rampage but walks into a Pele to put everyone down.

AJ goes to the top of the cage (I think you can only win by pin/submission), drawing a please don’t die chant. The others catch him and try a Tower of Doom but AJ can’t get into position so he stays on top. That’s good as I was legit scared of him taking that bump from there. Instead he hits a HUGE cross body to Hernandez off the cage for two. Homicide hits a cutter on AJ but walks into an STO from Daniels.

Hernandez runs over Christopher and goes to the top of the cage also. He misses his splash and if he’s still alive I’ll be stunned. Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings on Hernandez but Homicide got a coat hanger from Konnan to choke him out. Konnan gets it back and chokes him from outside the ring. Hernandez breaks up the Clash and the Gringo Killa gives LAX the titles back.

Rating: A-. Another great match here with them finally saying screw this tagging stuff and letting it all hang out there, which is what you’re supposed to do in a big match. That dive by AJ was incredible but for some reason, probably fear, Hernandez’s didn’t get much of a reaction at all. Still though, great match but somehow it isn’t as good as the Ultimate X match they had the month before.

We recap Sting vs. Jarrett which is like a year long feud with a ton of twists and turns in it. In short: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN JOE. Joe beat Jarrett the previous month but that was just about revenge or honor or something. There’s no need for this to be Jarrett vs. Sting and the only people that wanted it to be are likely named Jarrett. Oh and Angle is guest referee. Sting hasn’t even been on TV for two months to make sure the match has even less build for it. Oh and it’s title vs. career.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Oh wait Angle is guest enforcer. Sting’s big transformation after missing for two months: he has red tights. Tenay thinks the bat is a tribute to the Detroit Tigers. Someone smack him for me. I’m already annoyed enough that Joe isn’t in there but now I have to listen to Tenay’s stupid theories? After big match intros we’re finally ready to go. Feeling out process to start for some reason, after they’ve fought each other about a thousand times.

Jeff controls to start for no apparent reason, arm dragging and hip tossing Sting around with ease. Sting starts to Hulk Up…and Jeff throws him around again. Now Jeff drops him with one punch. Jeff dropkicks him to the floor and OH MY GOODNESS ARE YOU THIS FREAKING STUPID??? Why in the world would you have THE MOST BORING WORLD CHAMPION IN YEARS dominate one of the most charismatic wrestlers in history like this?

Back in Jarrett spits on him and Sting FINALLY takes over on him like he should have from the opening bell. Powerbomb of all things puts Jeff down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Jeff shoves Angle who shoves right back and Sting starts hammering Jarrett outside. Sting gets whipped into the barricade but Jeff gets his chair taken away by Angle. They fight up the ramp with Sting hitting a suplex to keep Jeff down. Angle takes the chair from Sting too and Jeff’s chair shot takes Kurt out.

DDT on the ramp puts Sting down and Jeff hooks a sleeper back inside. Sting fights out of that and they screw up some spot involving Sting getting behind Jeff. Cross body puts both guys down. Angle comes in and hits the Slam on the referee so that it’s not a double countout. They slug it out and the Splash sets up the Death Drop for two. Stroke hits for two. Jeff tries a tombstone which Sting reverses into a dangerous looking one of his own.

Sting goes up so that Jeff can hit him low, but he can’t hit a Stroke off the top. Sting’s splash off the top hits knees and there’s the Figure Four. Sting turns it over so Jeff lets it go and hooks an ankle lock to taunt Kurt. It gets reversed and Jeff is sent to the floor so Sting gets the bat. Angle tries to stop him and Jeff gets the guitar. Jeff breaks it over Sting’s head…and Sting yells at him. Scorpion quickly ends this.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it seemed like they didn’t know if they wanted to do an old school Sting match or an Attitude Era style brawl. Either one would have been ok but mixing them really didn’t work. At the end of the day, no one wanted to see Sting get the title again because we had seen it before and the fans were all behind Joe. Naturally since this is the NWA, they don’t care what the fans want and go with the old guys instead. The match wasn’t anything that good either.

Sting celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. As it is, this is a good show. With an ending the the fans wanted to see, it would be one of the best TNA shows ever. Sting’s title reign wound up meaning jack as he lost the title four weeks later to Abyss, a guy Joe beat in the Monster’s Ball earlier tonight. Joe wouldn’t the title for another 18 months because we needed to go through FOUR Angle reigns and a long Christian reign that no one wanted to see. This is also around the time that TNA’s hot streak started to die off. What a coincidence no? Anyway, very good show that could have been excellent if TNA would actually pay attention.

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It’s TNA’s biggest show of the year so why not throw in a count-up for it too?  Unfortunately I came up with this idea after it was too late to redo these but I’ll get fresh versions of these up some day.

Bound For Glory 2005
Date: October 23, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the biggest show of the year (I think it was back then at least) and the main event is Nash vs. Jarrett. In theory at least, as Nash has come down with his latest life threatening illness and has to back out. Therefore we’re going to shuffle the card around and have a ten man Gauntlet for the Gold with the winner immediately getting a shot at Jarrett. There’s a celebrity guest referee for the main event in UFC legend Tito Ortiz. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how this started a year ago at Victory Road and how hard they’ve all worked in the year since then. We actually see their voiceover guy who is a large black man. Tonight is their night.

Samoa Joe vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

Joe gets the full tribal entrance. Liger gets the streamers and offers a handshake but we cut to a shot of the NJPW owner so I don’t know if Joe shook it. The fans are behind Joe here and he runs Liger over a few times. Out to the floor and Liger takes over, hitting a big dive onto Joe. Back in Joe hits knees in the corner and the fans are split. A kick sets up a knee drop for two. Tenay talks about Monday Nitro as Joe hits a powerslam for two.

Now the fans are just chanting for Liger. I’m not sure why as Joe has been doing his usual stuff and isn’t acting like a heel or anything. Could it be because the fans change their minds faster than they can change a tire? Liger gets in a Liger Kick and hits a suplex for two. Considering the size difference that’s not bad. Frog Splash gets two. Liger’s palm thrust is avoided and Joe hits a kick to the head to take over. Joe’s superplex is countered into a powerbomb for two. A pair of palm thrusts get the same. Liger goes up but gets caught in the MuscleBuster and the Clutch ends this.

Rating: D+. That’s it? The match was ok but for something that they were building up as close to a dream match, I’d expect more than a seven minute match with Joe barely having to break a sweat. I’m glad that they brought in Liger who people at least know rather than some Japanese guy that about 1% of their audience could name. That’s a plus. The match was pretty lackluster though.

Clip from Fanfest this weekend. The fans saying they don’t want soap operas is amusing today.

We see two fans who won a contest and get to train at the NJPW Dojo before joining the Impact roster. I don’t recognize them.

Simon Diamond fires up the Diamonds in the Rough.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. Apolo/Sonny Siaki/Shark Boy

The Diamonds are Elix Skipper, David Young and Simon Diamond. Shark Boy and Diamond get us going. Diamond takes him down with some kicks and a clothesline for two. Sharky comes back but the Dead Sea Drop is countered. He bites the tights of Diamond and we’re in comedy match territory. Off to Skipper who is taken down almost immediately by a drop toehold. Things speed up a bit so it’s off to Apolo.

Apolo is more of a power guy and gets two off a Diamond Cutter. A spinning half nelson slam looks to get a pin but Diamond distracts the referee. Young comes in with some cheating and the Diamonds take over. Skipper stays in and hits a kind of spear for two. Apolo comes back with a one man 3D to put both of them down.

Double tag brings in Siaki and Young but everything breaks down. Apolo hits a TKO on Young (he LOVES Cutters apparently) and Shark Boy dives on Skipper. Young takes both of them out with a spinning dive and Apolo dives on everyone but Simon. Skipper and Siaki go inside and Elix throws Siaki to Young for the spinebuster and the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here. Apolo was a guy that had some potential to him but he wound up going back to Puerto Rico (I think) soon after this. The Diamonds were a lower midcard heel team that never really went anywhere. This wasn’t much for the most part but fill in matches like this were regular for TNA in these days.

We get some clips from the pre-show, one of which being of an X-Division fourway and the other of Larry Z yelling at Raven, resulting in Rhyno yelling at Raven and goring him. This is about both of them wanting the world title shot later tonight.

Jarrett laughs about Nash having chest pains and says he doesn’t care who he faces tonight. Jeff either just got out of the shower or it’s about 200 degrees in the back. He says screw all of his potential opponents. Monty Brown comes in and wants Jeff to say screw him too. He can smell the fear in Jarrett. This goes on for awhile.

Lance Hoyt vs. Monty Brown

Hoyt fires off some shoulders to start and “hits” a flapjack (Brown rolled through it for some reason) and they head to the floor. Brown sends him into the steps and back inside but due to Monty yelling at the crowd, Hoyt hits a dive (literally bouncing off Brown as they hit the floor). Back in the ring and Monty chops away in the corner. Hoyt punches away in the same corner, and it’s punches > chops in this case. Brown is face first down on the mat but as Hoyt goes up, Brown is playing possum. Nice job.

Back to the floor and Monty suplexes him onto the mats. Back in, Hoyt hammers away but Brown throws him down with a belly to belly. Lance gets up and hits a big boot and his moonsault, which still can’t get a pin. I never remember that getting a win actually. Hoyt goes up but jumps into the Alpha Bomb (fallaway slam position but Brown throws them up into a powerbomb) for two. Hoyt hits either a Rock Bottom or a chokeslam for two. And never mind all that Hoyt offense because a Pounce ends it.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Brown was a power guy and he didn’t need to be anything more than that. On the other hand you have Hoyt who was agile and good, but for some reason they refused to let him beat anyone significant. This was a decent power match but again it really didn’t need to be on PPV. There was no reason given for this match happening that I caught either.

Quick video on Global Impact.

3 Live Kru says they’re together and will fight tonight. Billy Gunn pops up to offer his help to take out D’Amore. Truth likes the idea as does BG but Konnan says no and storms off.

3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada

It’s Roode, Young and A-1 here. Eric and Konnan get us going as Tenay gives us a history of the New Age Outlaws. Konnan speeds things up and counters a headscissors into an Alabama Slam. Roode tries to come in but only manages to get caught in a three man What’s Up. Roadie and Truth hit some punches and dance some more then stomp on Roode a bit.

It’s Roode vs. Truth now with a hip toss getting two for the rapper. The annoying fans are shouting/singing something. Now they’re chanting USA for the team with a Cuban on it. Kip James is sitting on the stage, drawing a New Age Outlaws chant. A-1 comes in to choke on Truth in the corner. Those dastardly Canadians double and even triple team and it’s off to Roode. Truth hits his spinning forearm and tags in Road Dogg who cleans Canadian house. Shaky knee gets two on Roode. In the calamity, D’Amore’s distraction lets Roode get in a hockey stick shot and Young pins BG.

Rating: D. These teams feuded FOREVER and it never seemed to end. It wound up being about the Outlaws and to be fair, that’s probably the best possible outcome. The Canadians would just kind of float around for awhile until I think they broke up right around June of 06. The Kru would break up soon enough after this.

Post match the Canadians hold Konnan for Billy to hit him with a chair but he beats up all of the Canadians with it. Konnan isn’t sure what to do now but the Kru celebrates despite losing.

Shane Douglas asks Larry Z who is getting the shot tonight. Larry says he has a lot of options but is waiting for a word from upper management.

We recap the #1 contender’s match for the X Title. It’s Ultimate X which Williams has had some success in. Bentley and Sabin are in there due to needing two more spots filled in here.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley

Ultimate X, #1 contender’s match. Petey goes up but Sabin pulls him down and the faces (I think?) beat on him a bit. Williams counters a suplex from Sabin into one of his own but Bentley comes in with a kick to slow Petey down again. Wheelbarrow suplex puts Williams down again and Bentley goes up. Petey takes Matt down again but Traci’s (Bentley’s chick) rack distracts him. Matt goes up but Sabin pulls him down.

It’s Sabin vs. Bentley at the moment while D’Amore coaches Williams. Sabin picks Williams up and puts him in Razor’s Edge position, throwing him at Bentley in the corner. Sabin tries to climb but barely gets started before Bentley makes the save. We’re way too early in the match for a potential win anyway. Petey sends Bentley to the floor and hits a SWEET slingshot rana to put him down even further.

Everyone is back in now and Bentley hits a neckbreaker on Sabin and a cutter on Williams at the same time. Matt goes climbing but Sabin follows him and hooks a powerbomb to take both guys down in a painful looking move. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey sings O Canada. Bentley pops up and dropkicks him off and out to the floor before going up. Sabin gets out of the Tree and shoves him down, before diving on both guys when the X was there for the grabbing because Sabin is an idiot.

Sabin goes up and Bentley dives at him with a shoulder block. That knocks Sabin down, but it knocks the X down as well. We more or less stop the match so that the crew can put the X up again with a ladder. The fans chant USE THE LADDER. Sabin and Bentley go up for the X but knock each other off. The X falls and Petey catches it, so TNA says screw the rules, Williams wins.

Rating: D+. The match was good, but there’s really no excuse for the ending. Put it up there again and have someone get it immediately or whatever, but COME ON. This was just freaking stupid and it makes the company look inept because they can’t get their own signature match right. Invest in some better tape guys.

We recap the tag title match. AMW interfered at a house show to get the title off of Raven and onto Jarrett again and then Jarrett helped AMW destroy Team 3D. Look up the funeral for Team 3D. It’s absolutely hilarious. AMW beat down the Naturals as well for the titles so tonight it’s about revenge as well as the belts for them.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. The Naturals

I can never remember which one is Stevens and which one is Douglas. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with the Naturals in control. Ok Douglas has the bandage on his head. Got it. Storm gets powerbombed into the railing which looked SICK. The challengers get Harris in the ring and beat him down in the corner. Storm is walking out on the match. The Naturals go back and get him because it’s about revenge more than the titles. I can live with that if it’s done right and it has been here.

We’re over three minutes into this and there has been no tagging or one on one in the ring at all so far. Harris gets choked by both Naturals on the floor until they get bored and Douglas goes after Storm. Gail finally does something and distracts Douglas, allowing Storm to send him into the Ultimate X structure. Douglas’ cut is busted open now. Five minuets in now and they’re in the ring but it’s still 2-1.

Ok it’s FINALLY Storm vs. Douglas. Eye of the Storm gets two and Harris comes in without a tag. Stevens comes in after Douglas was in trouble for about a minute. Douglas is bleeding pretty good though so that likely has something to do with it. A Naturals double team gets two on Storm. The move that would later be named the Last Call misses and Stevens hits a kick of his own for two.

Gail throws in some powder to Harris but Chase Stevens knocks it into the Wildcat’s face. Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom, his finisher) on Storm. The Naturals hit the Death Sentence on Harris but it only gets two. Gail breaks up the Natural Disaster (double team elevated Stunner) so Douglas goes to the floor and grabs her by the hair. The distraction lets Harris handcuff Douglas to the barricade. Stevens his an enziguri on Storm but Harris busts a bottle over Stevens’ head and the Death Sentence retains the title.

Rating: B. WOW. This was only about ten minutes long but they flat out DO NOT STOP the whole time. It’s a wild brawl and I bought into the revenge that the Naturals were wanting the whole way. The biggest criticism of the Naturals is that they have no charisma, but man they were bringing it here and the match WORKED. Very good stuff. AMW would hold the titles for over eight months until the dream team of Styles and Daniels took them away.

We recap the Monster’s Ball feud. It’s Abyss vs. Rhyno vs. Sabu vs. Raven. This is when they still had the idea that each guy was held without food, water, light or human contact before the match. That was a bonus deal for these matches in the early days but it was dropped I think after this one.

James Mitchell says that Abyss (who is behind him despite the rule being that he has to be released right before the match) will be ready because he’s used to being put through torture.

Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Sabu vs. Abyss

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Rhyno was at the preshow remember? So they can’t even get their own rules straight. This is Monster’s Ball, which means it’s a wild brawl where anything goes. The power guys jump Hardy to start but Sabu pelts the chair at Abyss to get him off. Rhyno gets knocked to the floor and Sabu dives onto him as Hardy dives at Abyss. This is falls count anywhere. Abyss gets knocked to the floor and Hardy dives on him too.

The announcers say that they were released when the PPV began this evening. That’s fine for Abyss, BUT RHYNO WAS ON THE FREAKING PRESHOW!. All four go into the crowd and Sabu’s eye is busted open. Jeff dives off a balcony and takes Abyss down. They all get back to ringside and Hardy and Abyss go back into the ring. Sabu tries a dive off the apron but Rhyno moves to send Sabu crashing onto the floor.

Whisper in the wind puts Abyss down but the Twist is countered into Shock Treatment which gets one for Sabu. Rhyno hits Abyss and Sabu with a chair and then hits Abyss again. Hardy uses Sabu as Matt for Poetry in Motion so Sabu beats him down. If someone tried to make me into Matt Hardy, I’d probably do the same. Now it’s Rhyno again with a kendo stick to kill everyone. The Gore is countered into a chokeslam onto a chair for two.

Hardy pulls out a ladder which winds up being rammed into his chest by Abyss. Abyss sets up a table near Hardy by the stage and then another next to it. Sabu sets one up between the ring and the barricade as a platform. Jeff chairs Abyss down and Sabu hits a triple jump dive through Rhyno and through the table. Hardy climbs up on top of the set and dives over the stage through Abyss through the table. If he went too short on that, he would literally be dead.

Back in the ring Sabu loads up the triple jump moonsault but Rhyno hits him with the stick to break it up. The fans think this is awesome. The Gore hits a chair in the corner and Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault for two. Abyss and Hardy crawl back to the ring with Abyss setting up a table in the corner. Sabu throws a chair at him but gets thrown to the floor and through a table for his trouble. Here come the tacks but Abyss gets Gored through the table. Hardy prevents a cover but walks into the Rhyno Driver (middle rope piledriver) for the pin.

Rating: B. This was another wild brawl and in this case it worked very well. That Swanton was absolutely incredible but at the same time REALLY scary. Rhyno looked good but the match was really a group effort. Much like the TLC matches, sometimes you just throw people out there and tell them to be violent and it works. That’s what happened here.

Larry says there’s a ten man Gauntlet For The Gold for the title match and the participants will all have competed earlier tonight. Shane thinks that’s unfair to Jarrett.

We recap the Iron Man match between Styles and Daniels that Styles won in overtime. Daniels said he could beat any three X Division guys that Styles picked in 15 minutes. The first two went down so the third was Styles which resulted in a brawl. The result: Iron Man II.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is defending and it has a thirty minute time limit under Iron Man rules. Daniels jumps AJ before the bell and we’re off quickly. He controls for the opening minute and they trade chops, won by AJ. A backbreaker puts Daniels down and onto the floor but Daniels blocks AJ’s dive. Daniels hits some palm strikes but Styles dropkicks him down. Back to the floor and Daniels is knocked into the crowd. AJ dives over the barricade and both guys are down.

They head back inside and AJ controls with a headlock. Five minutes in and the fans say both guys are awesome. The headlock stays on for a few minutes but you have to burn some time in a match like this. Daniels rolls out of it and hooks an armbar. AJ fights out of it and sends Daniels into a few corners. A hard kick puts Daniels down as it’s been almost all AJ so far.

Bridging Indian Deathlock goes on and Daniels is in big trouble, so he bited AJ’s hands to escape. Ten minutes in now. Daniels heads to the apron but AJ clotheslines him back into the ring. Springboard forearm is countered into a high collar suplex to put both guys down. Daniels takes over and twists AJ’s neck around a bit. That can’t feel good. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a neck crank by Daniels.

AJ grabs a cradle out of nowhere for two and then another one for another two. Koji Clutch out of nowhere has AJ in trouble. AJ tries to power out of it but goes right back down. Another power out attempt works and AJ makes the rope. Slingshot moonsault gets two on the champion. We’re halfway through and it’s 0-0. AJ escapes a backbreaker and hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT.

Hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two as does a pumphandle gutbuster. That’s a new one. AJ tries a moonsault but gets caught in a Death Valley Driver for a very close two. Daniels puts him on the middle rope and flips him forward into a mat slam for two. AJ counters a neckbreaker into one of his own for a slightly delayed two. AJ tries the moonsault DDT again but gets caught in a spinning powerbomb for two. BME STILL doesn’t get a fall as it only gets a two count.

Ten minutes to go and AJ puts on a torture rack and then spins it out into a slam for two. AJ dives into the corner but Daniels moves and knocks Styles to the outside where he lands on the steps. A BIG suicide dive destroys AJ but Daniels can’t follow up due to exhaustion. As they come back in, AJ hits the Pele to knock Daniels back to the floor at 8 minutes to go. Another BIG flip dive takes Daniels out and both guys are down.

Seven minutes to go and both guys are down on the floor. As they get back in, Daniels blocks a suplex back inside and hits a belly to back suplex from the apron to the floor. That was pretty awesome, much like this match. Six minutes left and it’s still zero to zero. They’re both back in with five minutes to go. Scratch that as Daniels kicks AJ out of the ring before he was all the way in.

With about 4:25 to go they slug it out in the middle of the ring with AJ taking a slight advantage. Four minutes left. AJ has a big bruise on his leg. Small package gets two for the champion. Pele misses and Daniels rolls him up for two. AJ does the same and gets the same. Daniels hits a German suplex but AJ pops up and hits a discus lariat before collapsing. Under three minutes to go now.

AJ falls on top for two and we have two minutes left. Daniels channels his inner Piper and pokes AJ in the eye. That gets him nowhere because AJ gets to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for two despite a handful of tights. 90 seconds left and they trade forearms. The fans are split here. One minute to go and Daniels blocks a suplex. AJ kicks him in the head again but it only gets two. Daniels kicks him in the head but the Angel’s Wings are countered into a suplex for two. AJ hits the Clash with two seconds left for the only fall and the win. WOW that was a hot ending.

Rating: A. The only way to make this better would have been to say AJ loses the title in a tie. Still though, GREAT match here and pretty easily the best match I’ve ever seen these two have. That’s some pretty awesome timing too with AJ getting the pin literally with two seconds left. I know I complain about AJ and Daniels a lot, but back then it was great, with this being the best I’ve ever seen from them.

Gauntlet For The Gold

This is kind of like the Royal Rumble as everyone comes in after I think a minute and it’s over the top eliminations. The winner gets Jarrett immediately thereafter. Joe and Truth are the first two entrants. Oh ok these two go for two minutes and then every entrant is one minute. Got it. Truth dances for about 20 seconds to make fun of the Polynesian dance stuff earlier.

There’s no contact until 46 seconds in when Joe punches him in the face. Off to some Facewashes and the running boot. Truth pulls himself to the top and hits a Blockbuster. Downward Spiral puts Joe down and #3 is Sabu who can barely walk. He falls through the middle and bottom rope but has a chair. He BLASTS Truth with it and hits the triple jump moonsault on the same. Air Sabu hits Joe. Remember that there are only one minuet intervals from now on.

Joe throws the chair at Sabu’s legs and Lance Hoyt is in at #4. Joe no sells Hoyt’s punches but can’t no sell a big boot. Abyss is #5 who cleans house and has a staredown with Joe. They chop it out and Abyss grabs him for a chokeslam. Joe grabs HIM for a chokeslam, which is why Joe is awesome. And then Truth breaks it up because he likes to annoy me. Jeff Hardy is #6 and Sabu is busted open. No one has been eliminated yet.

Monty Brown is #7 and he’s limping for some reason. He Pounces Sabu and throws Hardy to the apron, but Hardy pulls him along with him to eliminate both guys. Abyss is almost out but he fights everyone off. #8 is Rhyno who also can barely walk. All of the Monster’s Ball people are in this. Rhyno easily clotheslines Hoyt out and we have five in and two still to go. Kip James (who didn’t wrestle earlier) is #9 and he cleans house. Fameasser to Abyss and AJ is somehow #10, meaning no Raven which is a surprise.

So we have Kip, AJ, Abyss, Joe, Sabu, Truth and Rhyno. AJ goes right after Abyss because he’s just that kind of guy. Apparently Sabu went out off camera somewhere so it’s down to six. Joe pounds on Kip and is the big crowd favorite. Things slow down a bit until AJ hits a big jumping kick to the head of I think Truth. Truth is put onto the apron but he hangs on. Kip charges like an idiot and goes out to get us down to five.

Pele puts Truth down and everyone is down. Abyss talks to Truth, calling him Ronnie. AJ throws Truth over but Kip holds him up from hitting the floor. And never mind as he goes out anyway. So it’s Rhyno, Abyss, AJ and Joe. There’s a solid tag match in there somewhere. AJ somehow explodes on Joe with forearms but gets caught in the choke next to the ropes. Abyss eliminates them both and apparently you win by over the top. Usually it’s a one on one match when it gets down to two. Gore to Abyss and Rhyno tosses him for the quick win.

Rating: C-. Considering that these guys had all fought tonight this wasn’t half bad. AJ had to be gassed after having to stop for about 10 minutes and then start up again. Raven belonged in there instead of freaking Billy Gunn but I think that was part of his feud with management so it made sense I guess. Still though, it was relatively short and the minute time limits weren’t so bad because there weren’t that many people in it.

NWA World Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tito Ortiz is guest referee. Jarrett brings out a casket for no apparent reason. He jumps Rhyno before the belt even comes off and hits a dropkick to put Rhyno down. Out to the floor and Rhyno gets rammed into the announce table and then the casket. Back in a top rope clothesline puts Rhyno down again. He’s had zero offense at all so far. Another top rope clothesline puts the challenger down again so Jeff goes up a third time. Rhyno catches him in chokeslam position but instead throws Jeff into the air and kicks him in the balls.

Gail Kim comes out as the Gore misses. Gail goes up but jumps into the arms of Tito. She tries to slap him so she gets placed on the apron. Guitar shot misses but the second one hits Rhyno square in the face. Rhyno is busted open but it only gets two. Jarrett yells at Ortiz and AMW comes out. There’s another guitar but Ortiz drills both members of AMW. Rhyno Gores Jarrett down and pins him out of nowhere in I think his second offensive move of the match.

Rating: C. The match was nothing great but at the same time, this was Rhyno’s third match of the night and second in a row, plus there was no story to the match but that’s certainly beyond TNA’s control in this case. The match only ran about six minutes and Tito didn’t have much to do with it but again I’m assuming it made more sense with Nash in there. All things considered, this wasn’t bad.

Post match AMW runs in to beat Rhyno down as Tito is gone. The 3 Live Kru runs down for the save so Team Canada comes in as well. The casket is brought into the ring and Rhyno takes another guitar shot to the head. They shut him into the casket and Jarrett holds up the belt. Team 3D returns and cleans house along with the Kru. Only Eric Young is left so he gets the 3D and gets thrown into the casket. Rhyno and company celebrate to end the show. This was a REALLY bad choice for an ending, but again I’m assuming it was for Nash where it would have made better sense. That being said, DON’T DO IT IN THIS CASE.

Overall Rating: B+. This worked really well overall and when you considered the ending of the show had to be completely rewritten because of Nash’s life threatening medical condition of the month, it was solid. Rhyno’s title reign wound up meaning nothing because he lost the title at the next taping, but for a nice surprise ending it worked pretty well.

The middle part of this show, as in from the tag titles through the Iron Man, is EXCELLENT and the opening part isn’t that bad. The Ultimate X match is solid other than the awful ending and the longest of the first four matches is 7:15 long so they hardly cripple the show. Very good show and I can see why people were so hyped about TNA at this point.

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TNA Weekly PPV #13
Date: September 25, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So after last week’s near disaster we’re back to Tennessee for more of TNA’s early nonsense. This week our main event is Jarrett vs. BG James to keep up the feud that no one is really interested in but it’s Jarrett’s company so there’s not much else you can do. Other than that we’ve got Lynn vs. Killings again, although this time for the X Title. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Siaki and Lynn brawling due to Sonny costing Lynn the world title last week.

Tenay and West run down the card.

Sonny Siaki vs. Jerry Lynn

Siaki is a more generic heel now and isn’t dressed like Elvis anymore. Red takes him out before Siaki can eve get to the ring with a senton followed by a shooting star off the apron. They head inside where Siaki comes back with a flapjack and neckbreaker for two, only to have Red snap off a pair of kicks. The Amazing one shrugs off some shoulders in the corner to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two more.

Red charges into a backdrop to send him to the floor though, allowing Siaki to drop him onto various metal things. Somewhat geeky manager Mortimer Plumtree is watching from the ramp. Back in and Siaki gets a few near falls off a belly to belly suplex before putting on a quick bearhug. Red fights out and seems to leave a leapfrog a bit short. Oh wait he landed on Siaki’s back on purpose to turn it into a sunset bomb for two. Red hits a kind of STO off the middle rope but misses some kind of a dive off the top, allowing Siaki to hit a kind of neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good opener here with power vs. speed which almost never fails. Red was a flip machine which is fine, as Siaki played the heel role well at this point. I don’t remember Red being around much before this so seeing him was a nice surprise for the fans. He would be a big cult favorite for a long time.

Post match Jorge Estrada pops up on the stage and says before tonight is over, he’s getting Siaki’s Elvis gear. I’ve heard of worse reasons for a feud.

In the back, Ron Killings is beating up Amazing Red, shouting that he’s getting rid of the X-Division because it devalues the world title.

We recap America’s Most Wanted (Harris and Storm) winning the tag belts last week.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Harris

This is a tables match and Harris/Storm aren’t known as AMW yet. For the sake of simplicity, only Ron Harris will be referred to as Harris here. The challengers jump them to start and only one person has to go through the table for the win. It’s Lee pounding on Chris to start but Chris comes back with a backdrop and clothesline to put both guys on the floor. Chris dives on Lee but gets caught, only to have Storm dive as well to take everyone down.

Another brawl breaks out as the tables haven’t been a factor yet. Harris pounds Chris down before it’s back to Lee for more slow pounding. Harris slides in a table and sets it up in the corner but Storm makes the save. After Storm is sent out, Harris powerslams Chris down instead of sending him through a table because Harris isn’t that bright. He does the same thing with a suplex and it’s off to Lee for some of the worst elbow drops you’ll ever see. He basically pulls his elbow up before hitting Chris’ chest.

Lee misses a top rope knee drop and Chris makes the tag off to Storm. Everything breaks down and Harris is knocked to the floor. Lee is sent to the apron but manages to clothesline both champions down. AMW fights up and knocks Lee off the apron through a table which I don’t remember being set up to retain.

Rating: D-. Not only did the match suck, but did we really need a gimmick to protect RON FREAKING HARRIS and Brian Lee? TNA is trying to push AMW as a big deal but they can’t even get a clean pin over these two lunkheads? Last week there was the mess with the ropes and now they have to have a tables match? Is Ron Harris’ spot THAT important? The match sucked too as the tables were barely a factor.

Post match Harris beats up the champions and puts Storm through a table. Security comes out to break it up until Don Harris, Ron’s twin brother, comes out for a staredown. The champions are a complete afterthought here, and we get the last thing we need here: ANOTHER guy named Harris.

In the parking lot, Bruce gets into a fight with a handicapped woman named Sara the Ticket Lady. Can we please end this character already?

Here’s Ron Killings to complain about how bad of a town “Trashville” is. Truth complains about rats and says the fans wouldn’t like them in their bed. That’s either a stupid line or a REALLY clever insider lingo joke but we’ll go with the former. He’s also not happy with the prejudice going on around here because he hasn’t seen Ricky Steamboat since he won the title. Truth doesn’t like not having merchandise or a private dressing room and as he’s starting to complain about the X-Division, here’s BG James.

James talks about a posse in his pants and their time back in the WWF where James stood up for Truth with the boys in the back. They go back and forth with stupid lines and the brawl is on with BG taking over. BG says that just unlike Demi Moore and Tom Cruise, he can handle the Truth. Next.

Brian Lawler and his girlfriend April argue about nothing in particular. At least I think they do as you can hear JB hyping up the card to the live crowd in the background. I mean he’s drowning out the interview.

AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

This is 2/3 falls and the winner gets a shot at the X Title. Feeling out process to start as AJ cranks on the arm before they head to the mat for a headlock by Styles. Back up and Low Ki escapes the wristlock and chops away, only to be taken down by an atomic drop. Low Ki sends him to the floor and hits a running flip attack off the apron to take over again. Back in and a hard kick to AJ’s back gets two and it’s back to the chops to the neck.

AJ crotches him on the top rope and hits a backbreaker/gutbuster combo to take over again. A nice dropkick in the corner gets two for Styles but Low Ki comes back with some chops. Off to a chinlock with AJ’s knee in Low Ki’s back for a few seconds before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up again and Low Ki hits what we would call the Disaster Kick for two before putting on the seated Dragon Sleeper for the submission and the first fall.

The second fall begins with Low Ki being sent throat first into the middle rope and clotheslined down for two. A delayed suplex puts Ki down and AJ pounds away. Styles hits a standing enziguri to put Low on the floor, but as he heads out, Low Ki kicks Styles in the head. AJ slams him down onto the ramp to break another Dragon Sleeper before we head back inside. A sunset bomb is countered by Low Ki but AJ keeps rolling into a sunset flip for the pin and the second fall.

AJ poses so Low Ki kicks him square in the jaw to send him to the floor. Once they’re both on the floor, AJ takes out Low’s knee before firing off kicks to the knee back inside. They both go up to the middle rope and after the Styles Clash is broken up, AJ comes off with a shin breaker to Low Ki. Off to a modified spinning toe hold but Low Ki rolls through it for two. Low Ki rolls through a powerbomb into a rana for two but can’t hook the Dragon Sleeper again. After a somewhat botched rollup attempt, AJ hits the Clash for the pin and the title shot next week.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the lack of selling got annoying after awhile. I’m still not a fan of Low Ki at all as the kicking drives me crazy, but at least he threw in some ranas here to keep things fresher. AJ getting back into the X Title picture was a solid idea as he and Lynn had the best matches in the company so far. Not bad at all here.

Jarrett says he’ll eliminate Hall, Waltman and BG to get the title that he wants.

Elix Skipper/Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall/Syxx-Pac

Skipper slips while trying to moonsault into the ring. Lawler makes sure to cover up his girlfriend’s body during the entrance. Pac and Skipper start things off with Elix getting a crotch chop for his efforts. Hall gives Elix one of the same, sending Skipper into such a rage that he misses a spin kick. A second attempt connects with Pac’s jaw and it’s off to Hall vs. Lawler. Hall throws the toothpick at Lawler, sending him out to the floor in a fit. Back in, more stalling, more yelling at the girlfriend.

Off to Skipper again before Lawler has any contact at all. At least he earned his paycheck tonight. Anyway Elix gets pounded down and chokeslammed for two before bailing to the floor. Some double teaming by the heels allows them to crotch Hall on the post and it’s off to Lawler for some biting and punching. A suplex puts Hall down and it’s off to Skipper for a top rope ax handle.

Hall puts Skipper down with a belly to back suplex but let’s look at Lawler yelling at Don West for talking to April. Off to Syxx who cleans house. An X-Factor gets two on Skipper with Lawler making the save. Everything breaks down and Pac misses the Bronco Buster on Skipper. Lawler and Hall fight as Elix goes up top, only to dive into the X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D. These matches with the big stars are getting to be insufferable. They’re sloppy, by the book and really dull all the way throughout. I have no idea why Elix Skipper was involved in the match here but at least he was someone young and different from the regular “stars”. Nothing to see here at all.

Post match Jarrett runs out to beat down Hall and Pac.

AJ implies that he wants a ladder match for the title.

Bruce comes out and calls himself the only woman in TNA. Sara the Ticket Lady comes out and yells and that’s about it.

Kid Kash vs. Jorge Estrada

Feeling out process to start with Estrada taking over with an armdrag. Mortimer Plumtree is watching again as Jorge headscissors Kash down and clotheslines him to the floor. Jorge leaves a suicide dive WAY short and lands on his head in a SICK crash. Back in and Kash takes over with a double springboard backsplash for two back inside. Estrada thankfully doesn’t have a broken neck and comes back with a hiptoss and a standing shooting star for two.

Jorge goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him down. A top rope rana brings Estrada down but Kash charges into an elbow in the corner. Kash pokes him in the eye and hits a DDT for two, only to have his rana countered into a powerbomb for two for Jorge. Estrada busts out the TCB (Taking Care of Business), a big flippy dive for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a battle of the flips here which is about what you would expect from a show like this. Estrada isn’t bad and Kash is Kash so the match was entertaining but the lack of selling continues. This is another match which was here to give us the post match stuff because we need our Elvis developments.

Estrada demands his suit back and we see Siaki burning it in a barrel.

We recap Siaki costing Lynn the world title last week.

X-Division Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

This is a lumberjack match and all of the lumberjacks are X-Division guys. Killings tries to bail to the floor early but Low Ki sends him back inside. Back in and Lynn pounds away with a bunch of right hands before bulldogging Truth down for two. Truth bails to the floor again for the same result, only this time he manages a top rope shoulder to take over. Now it’s Jerry getting thrown to the floor for a stomping by Kash. AJ, the only X guy not at ringside, is on the stage with a ladder.

Back in and the challenger gets two off a backbreaker and the same from a powerslam. That works so well that Truth hits another one before putting on a front facelock with his feet on the ropes. Lynn comes back with a reverse DDT and a powerbomb for two more but Truth stops him cold with a low blow. Low Ki is annoyed and yells at Killings, so Jerry rams them together and hits a TKO to retain the title.

Rating: C-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Truth is feuding with the X-Division, so his first match in the feud is against the champion. He loses there, so now he goes down the division to fight lower level talent, all while being the World Champion? Does this sound as stupid to anyone else but me? The match wasn’t great but it was better than last week’s mess.

West hypes up the show for next week.

BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

Main event time. BG says he’s Jeff’s second mountain and he can’t be negotiated. BG shoulders him down to start and pounds away with right hands. The shaky knee gets two but Jeff comes back with an enziguri to take over. Roadie fires off the juke and jive as we hear about them being together in the WWF back in 95. Out to the floor for some chair shots from James to knock Jeff into the crowd.

Jarrett gets in some chair shots of his own to take over and we go back to ringside. Jeff slams him into the announce table and pounds on the back and face with the chair some more. Back inside we go for the running crotch again in 619 position and a sleeper by Jeff. James fights up after two arm drops and puts on a sleeper of his own, only to be suplexed down by Jarrett.

Both guys are down now which is likely a good thing given the ample gut that Road Dogg has on him at the moment. Back up and James takes over with right hands but the referee takes a shot to the head. Jeff wedges a chair between the ropes but goes face first into it instead, giving James two. Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler come out to help Jarrett but Jeff nails Lawler by mistake, giving BG two more. The referee gets rid of the cronies so Jeff can hit James with a chair for a near fall. BG hits the anal rape pumphandle for two, only to have Skipper and Lawler run in for a DQ.

Rating: D. Could this have been any more overbooked? At the end of the day this BG James/Jarrett/Lawler stuff is completely uninteresting and I’m still not sure why they’re even fighting. The match was your standard Attitude Era brawl and the match was nothing of note. The X Title match really should have gone on last here.

Post match Hall and Syxx-Pac come out for the big brawl but Truth evens the odds and Jarrett and company stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. These shows are all suffering from the same problems: the overbooking of the main event and the lack of anyone caring about people like Lawler and BG James. Now I will give them this: they’re logically setting up feuds and stories with what looks like a six man tag set up for next week. The X Title stuff is WAY better than anything else but it’s not enough to get you through a two hour show.

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TNA Weekly PPV #16
Date: October 9, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Things are starting to pick up around here and we have a new story with the guy in white attacking Killings. If my memory is correct, that will start a story that lasts for months to come. Other than that tonight we have Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles for the X Title in a ladder match for the second time in two weeks. Also if we’re lucky, we might get more Brian Lawler! Oh and Chris Rock is here for some reason. Let’s get to it.

West and Tenay hype up the show.

We look at the man in white attacking Killings last week.

It’s supposed to be time for the opening match but here’s Ron Killings instead. Truth does some basic “your sports teams suck” stuff so the fans tell him he’s overrated. He says the man in white is the mystery partner in a six man tag later tonight and that’s not cool with the champ. Don West of all people cuts him off, saying that Truth isn’t telling the truth. It was ok when Killings came in last week to jump BG and Syxx-Pac but it’s not cool when someone jumps Killings?

We get a clip from the end of last week’s show and Killings says West just screwed up. Compared to him, West is just a pebble on the beach so Truth wants Syxx-Pac, James or the man in white. Cue James and Syxx-Pac with the former talking about drinking Coronas and how we don’t live in a perfect world.

Curt Hennig walks out, apparently the mystery partner for later tonight. Hennig says he doesn’t like the Truth and Pac says they’re going to do to Truth what his mama should have done years ago. The three come to the ring and here are Jarrett and Lawler for the big brawl. Our heroes clean house and the heels retreat. BG wants the match right now so here’s a referee.

Curt Hennig/BG James/Syxx-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler/Ron Killings

BG and Jarrett get things going but Curt gets the tag before there’s any contact. Mike is immediately running through Curt’s career resume which is one of his trademarks anymore. No contact until about a minute in when Curt hits a single right hand to knock Jeff into the corner. Hennig runs Jeff over and chops Jarrett’s partners down for fun. Back in and Jeff fires off right hands of his own followed by a Hennig neck snap to Hennig, earning him a right hand for gimmick infringement.

Jeff is sent to the floor again as Lawler is freaking out. Back in and it’s Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac with Brian missing a cross body but coming back with a powerslam. Off to the world champion who gets punched in the face by BG but nips back up, only to walk into the big right hand to put Truth back down. Back up and Truth does the splits to avoid a clothesline and hits the ax kick for two. Jarrett comes back in but misses his running crotch attack on the ropes, only to have Truth come back in to keep control.

Lawler gets the tag and drops BG with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Jarrett again. Jeff walks into a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Syxx-Pac. Kicks abound but the Bronco Buster hits a boot between the legs as Pac plays some Ricky Morton. Truth powerslams him down and it’s back to Jarrett with a suplex for two. Really basic stuff at the moment and it’s not exactly thrilling. Back to Lawler for a chinlock but Pac fights up with something resembling a Sky High.

The real hot tag (minus the heat) brings in Hennig and house is cleaned. BG chases Jarrett up the ramp with a chair as Lawler hits Hennig low to put him down. A guillotine legdrop gets two as Pac makes the save and gets two of his own on Truth with the X-Factor. Lawler takes out the referee and here’s the man in white, now with Mr. Wrestling III written on the back of his jacket to powerbomb Truth down. The PerfectPlex is enough to pin Truth.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t the worst match in the world and it definitely picked up near the end, but this was a bad sign for the main event picture. At the end of the day, these guys aren’t moving well at all and the matches range from passable at best to boring and sluggish at worst. This wasn’t horrible but at nearly fifteen minutes it went on WAY too long.

BG James is out cold in the back with a pipe next to him.

We look back at the X-Division Title match last week with Jerry Lynn getting “cheated” out of the title, only to have it handed back to him in a decision that screwed over the heel.

Here’s X Champion Jerry Lynn with something to say. He challenges Sonny Siaki, the man that cost him the title last week, to a match on the next show. Cue Sonny who says let’s do it right now. Jerry charges up the ramp but gets thrown off the stage, getting his leg caught in the barricade. Tenay talks about Jerry’s history of knee injuries and we hear Lynn say “not again.” We do the stretcher job as this eats up a few minutes.

Syxx-Pac apologizes to Low Ki over insulting him last week. Low Ki is about to respond but AJ Styles comes in to say that he’s beaten Low Ki four times so he should be Syxx-Pac’s favorite wrestler. AJ leaves and Low Ki and Syxx-Pac agree that Styles is a jerk.

Tag Titles: Spanish Announce Team vs. America’s Most Wanted

Storm starts with Jose and they flip around a bit until James hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. Jose comes back with a dropkick to the knee and something resembling an inverted figure four, only to have Storm grab a nearby rope. Storm comes back with a hurricanrana but Joel comes in with a missile dropkick, only to be speared down by Harris. Jose goes up but gets shoved down onto Joel onto the floor. Harris follows up the shove with a BIG plancha to take both Maximos (the SAT if that wasn’t clear) out.

Back in and AMW double teams Jose, only to have Joel crotch Storm to break up something off the top. A moonsault/neckbreaker combo (think the Motor City Machine Guns’ Skull and Bones but with a moonsault) gets two on Storm but James comes back with a freaky spin into a Downward Spiral for two. Off to Harris for a big tilt-a-whirl powerslam, good for two on Jose. Things settle down a bit and Jose gets two of his own off a tornado DDT.

Joel powerslams Harris and everything breaks down with a moonsault getting two on Storm. James comes back with a big old superkick for a delayed two but a Maximos double team takes the Cowboy down. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Joel but he dives into the Catatonic, only to have Jose break up the pin. The SAT loads up the Spanish Fly but Storm makes the save, setting up an overly complicated double powerbomb into a whip Rock Bottom for the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. This got a bit too sloppy at the end but I’ll take whatever I can get for tag team wrestling int his company at the moment. As has been the case for weeks now, AMW is the only good team around and they’re just looking for some decent opponents. The Maximos aren’t great but they’re better than anyone else AMW has gotten to face so far as champions.

Here’s Chris Rock for the first big celebrity appearance for the company. He says TNA is the best wrestling in the world and invites anyone to come prove it’s not fake….and that’s it. Literally he was in the ring for 30 seconds.

Kid Kash vs. Ace Steel vs. Low Ki vs. Tony Mamaluke

This is a 15 minute iron man match for no reason whatsoever. Steel is most famous for training CM Punk and Colt Cabana and comes out to what would become Abyss’ music. During the entrances, we see a sign saying Totally Nuke Al-Qaeda for what has to be the tenth time tonight, but it’s been in various different places. It’s either a group of fans or a plant by the company for whatever reason. Mortimer Plumtree comes out to do commentary.

We start with the usual multi-man spots where it’s so clear they’re working together that it takes away almost all of the illusion from the match. Low Ki pounds on Kash in the corner as the other two fight in the middle of the ring. The pairings trade off as armdrags abound, setting up a standoff. Mamaluke dropkicks down Low Ki and Steel followed by a double abdominal stretch, only to have Kash springboard in to break it up.

Kash snaps off some hurricanranas before nearly breaking Steel’s neck on a third. Low Ki and Steel head to the floor where Kash hits a huge dive to take both guys out. Naturally Mamaluke dives onto the three of them, putting everyone down on the floor. In a stupid looking move, Kash and Low Ki get up on opposite sides of the apron and springboard at each other for a double clothesline. Steel and Mamaluke come in with legdrops for a double pin, giving them a fall each.

The fans are behind Low Ki as Ace pounds him in the corner as the match slows way down. We have under eight minutes to go as Kash hits a fisherman’s buster on Mamaluke for a pin, leaving Low Ki as the only person with no pins. Mamaluke and Kash head to the floor as Low Ki’s springboard is almost caught in a fireman’s carry, only to roll down into an armbar for a submission for Low Ki, giving us a fourway http://buysoma.net tie. I guess we’re supposed to assume Mike meant pins and submissions when he said you could only win by pin.

Kash slams Mamaluke off the announce table, bouncing him off his head. Low Ki hurts his ankle on a springboard so Steel spins his leg around to work on the leg even more. Five minutes left now as Tony and Kash fight on the floor. Low Ki gets a rollup for two on Steel with 4:20 to go. A Kash powerbomb gets two on Tony with four minutes even left. Everyone knocks everyone else down for the next minute. Steel breaks up a Kash Boston crab and we have two minutes left.

Everyone is moving slowly now so this isn’t exactly thrilling. Kash and Ki chop it out on the floor but head back in with 1:00 left. Steel hits a running corner dropkick on Ki with 30 seconds to go. Mamaluke hooks a Russian legsweep off the apron and into the barricade to take out Kash. We’ve got 15 seconds left as Ki hooks his leg choke on the ropes followed by the spinning springboard enziguri, but Steel falls into the ropes. Ki pulls him back into the ring with two seconds left. Ki grabs a rollup but Plumtree trips him up to give Steel a pin, even though the bell ring before the referee was even on the mat.

Rating: D. Matches like these are the kind of indy nonsense that gets on people’s nerves. I have zero idea what the point was in making this an iron man match other than it sounded good on paper. Surviving a fifteen minute match doesn’t prove you’re tough as anyone should be able to last that long. There was no flow, no story, and a botched ending on top of that. Terribly booked match, but I’m sure I just don’t get REAL wrestling, right?

Here’s NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler because there’s a TNA car in the minor league race. He tries to get us to care about a race but here’s Miss TNA Bruce to interrupt. Bruce makes jokes about Hermie driving a car and demands that he pick a career already. This brings out Jeff Jarrett to insult Sadler and demand a bigger name to drive the TNA car. Sadler makes fun of Jeff for not having any titles but says he respects Ron Killings. He asks if Bruce is a man or a woman and a brawl is on, drawing in Jarrett and BG James for the save. Horribly stupid segment and no one cares about Sadler.

Ron Harris/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Michaels/Rick Michaels

GET DIFFERENT LAST NAMES ALREADY! This is a #1 contender match between two teams that haven’t teamed together in the company before. Harris and Siaki jump the Michaels to start and take it to the floor. We start with Rick vs. Siaki as Tenay tries to get us to care about Rick’s accomplishments in the indys. Off to Chris vs. Ron with Harris pounding away in the corner. We’re definitely in squash territory here. Chris gets in some armdrags to bring in Rick, only to be thrown down by Ron.

Back to Siaki as this slow destruction continues. Rick comes back with a quick neckbreaker before it’s back to Chris, only to have Harris send him into the barricade. Siaki pounds on Chris a bit more inside but Rick gets the ice cold tag to clean a bit of the house. Sonny hits something resembling a Samoan drop on Chris but Harris breaks up the pin. He tells Siaki to hold Michaels up, only to kick Sonny in the face by mistake, giving Chris the fluke pin.

Rating: F. We just sat through seven and a half minutes for a screwy ending with one team we’ve never seen before beating another team we’ve never seen before. West tries to call this the biggest upset ever in TNA, but it makes the winners 1-0 and the losers 0-1. How is that an upset? On top of that, we’re now in week three of an angle for RON HARRIS. Was there NO ONE ELSE on the roster that could have done this story???

Post match Ron and Sonny slug it out until Don Harris makes the save and beats up Sonny. Just get to the Harris Brother reunion so no one can care again.

Bill Behrens comes out to say that Jerry Lynn can’t wrestle, so the title is vacated. However, due to legal requirements, there will be a title match so it’s Ace Steel vs. AJ Styles for the title in a ladder match instead. Jerry will get a title match with rules of his choosing upon returning. Low Ki comes out to cry foul on the Plumtree interference.

Plumtree and Steel come out to insult Ki and dear goodness I do not care. Plumtree mentions Low Ki trying to beat up Tammy Sytch, which is a reference to a recent indy show that maybe .3% of the audience will have heard of. Ki calls Plumtree a nerd and here’s southern hick Bob Armstrong because there aren’t enough freaking people in this segment. Armstrong makes Ace and Ki for the spot in the title match.

Low Ki vs. Ace Steel

Steel goes right for Ki’s knee like anyone would as this looks more like a UFC fight than a wrestling match. Note that I didn’t say a good UFC fight but a UFC fight nonetheless. Plumtree gets in a chair shot to the bad leg behind the referee’s back to send him to the floor. Armstrong and Behrens say the match is over and Ki wins by DQ.

Armstrong says the X-Division has been a mess since the beginning (not really but thanks for burying the most popular thing you have) so anyone in the X-Division can come out here and be in the ladder match for the title. Well why in the world not.

X-Division Title: Ace Steel vs. Jose Maximo vs. Joel Maximo vs. AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash vs. Tony Mamaluke

The Maximos pull out ladders as AJ suplexes Mamaluke. Everyone goes to the floor for a big springboard shooting star from Styles. Back in and AJ hits the moonsault into the inverted DDT on Joel before taking Jose down as well. There’s a brainbuster to Kash before AJ sends Steel into the barricade. The ladders are finally brought into the ring but Jose dropkicks Mamaluke off the ladder for the save.

Everyone is hit with or sent into a ladder until it’s down to Steel hanging AJ in a tree of woe on a ladder for a baseball slide. Kash rides a ladder down onto AJ as the Maximos are back inside. There’s no flow or anything to this so expect a bunch of random spots for the rest of the match. Joel gets crushed between two ladders in the corner and Styles gets suplexed down by Mamaluke. Kash superplexes Steel down and goes up the ladder, only to be shoved down with ease.

After more brawling, Kash knocks Tony off the ladder but tries a moonsault onto Steel and Jose instead of grabbing the title. Well he never all that bright. AJ rams his shoulder into the ladder to knock it to the floor but completely misses the Maximos he was aiming at. Tony is holding his arm and is likely injured. Styles and Kash both set up ladders and go up, only to be joined by the Maximos.

The Spanish Fly is blocked by Kash so he “hits” a “tornado DDT” on Jose, meaning he grabbed him and kind of fell backwards, driving the top of Jose’s head into the mat. Mamaluke goes up and the ladders collapse before Kash can powerbomb him down. AJ goes up and gets shoved right into the referee who wasn’t needed anyway. Kash dives off the top onto Joel for no apparent reason as Jose and Styles fight on the ladder. AJ rides the ladder down onto Jose who was crushed under both AJ and the ladder.

Kash dropkicks the ladder to take out Mamaluke and Steel, putting everybody down. Joel goes up with Kash and hits a C4 off the ladder followed by a sunset bomb from Styles to Ace, leaving Tony on top. Tony can’t quite hit a tornado DDT on Styles as this mess needs to end. Steel and Joel are fighting on the floor and AJ tosses Mamaluke out to join him. Styles superplexes Kash down and goes up, but here’s freaking Syxx-Pac to suplex him down, climb up and take the title.

Rating: C-. It doesn’t matter. That’s the title of this entire show: it doesn’t matter. These six guys were all working hard, but the match was such a mess and WAY too dangerous to make it work. On top of that, it doesn’t matter though because Syxx-Pac gets to come in and win the title in 30 seconds. That’s what WWE would do with Hornswoggle and it was just as stupid. Horrible way to end things here.

Next week, you guessed it: LADDER MATCH!

Overall Rating: D-. Again, IT DOESN’T MATTER. That iron man match? Didn’t matter. The six guys killing themselves for fifteen minutes? Didn’t matter. The Michaels guys winning? Didn’t matter, as the focus is still on Ron Harris. This was like the brainchild of one of those fans on the internet that drives you crazy and has no idea how wrestling actually works. We had meaningless gimmicks added to matches, stories being ignored for the sake of throwing everyone into one match, and a big SWERVE at the end because why not. This was awful with very little to remember at all. Horrid show.

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TNA Weekly PPV #15
Date: October 2, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We’re back here after a long absence on my part for two more of these things. The main stories tonight are AJ getting an X Division Title shot and what looks to be a tag match between Sean Waltman/BG James/Scott Hall vs. Brian Lawler/Jeff Jarrett/Elix Skipper. The company still isn’t all that interesting but maybe things will pick up soon. Let’s get to it.

After Tenay runs down the card to start, here are BG James and Syxx-Pac to open things up. BG is here tonight to take care of business but he wants to talk some smack first. They’ve done that before though, but it’s a new day here in TNA. Gay jokes abound and BG wants to fight Jarrett and Elix Skipper right now. James rhymes a lot and says that if Ron Killings is the future of wrestling, the future is grim. Killings may be the future, but BG and Syxx are the past and present.

Waltman says Low Ki isn’t ready for a match against Killings tonight because it should go to one of them. Both BG and Syxx want Killings, more commonly known as the Suntan Superman. BG says they’re white Kryptonite and says the theme from Cops, asking what Killings is going to do when they come for him. Here’s Killings (world champion) to say he thinks the two of them are crazy. Truth says they want the title and the fans chant overrated. Killings makes racial references to set Pac off, who wants a fight right now.

This brings out Jeff Jarrett who wants to know where Scott Hall is for the six man tag tonight. BG says Hall isn’t here but Jarrett has no business complaining about anyone. Jeff says we’ll make the six man a handicap match, allowing Skipper and Lawler to come in through the crowd for the beatdown. The good guys clear the ring and stand tall in just a few seconds though.

Tenay talks about new cable providers carrying TNA.

The announcers run down the card for a few moments.

Amazing Red vs. Shark Boy

The fans are behind Sharky as we get a technical sequence to start. Elix Skipper jumps in on commentary, ranting about being taken out of the main event. The main event is now BG/Syxx-Pac vs. Jarrett/Lawler. Shark Boy works on the leg for a bit and gets two off a neckbreaker. Mortimer Plumtree, generic corporate manager, is watching from the stage. A one knee Codebreaker puts Red down and a missile dropkick is good for two. In a surprising power display, Shark Boy gorilla presses Red out to the floor.

Shark Boy dives onto him to keep the crowd fired up as Skipper keeps ranting about giving someone a beatdown. Red can’t quite avoid a second dive but a third one sends Sharky into the announce table to give Red control. Back in and Red hits a BIG flip dive, nearly missing Shark Boy at the same time.

Both guys head back inside with Shark Boy hitting a middle rope Jackhammer of all things for two. Red comes right back with a middle rope neckbreaker for two of his own. A nice Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust) gets a delayed two on Red but a second attempt is countered into a reverse DDT. Red goes up for a quick twisting moonsault and a standing shooting star for the pin.

Rating: C. Take two guys and let them fly around for awhile. Red may fly higher, but he was definitely the sloppier of the two. Shark Boy is much better in the ring than he was given credit for as he’s mainly known as a gimmick guy. The fans were into it though and that’s the point of an opener.

Post match Skipper comes in and lays Red out. Security is beaten up too.

Video on Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn from last week, setting up Killings’ war with the X-Division.

Low Ki wants a piece of Syxx-Pac, even though he has a world title match tonight. He’s ready for Killings and is taking the title tonight. Heaven help us if he does.

We’re supposed to have a #1 contenders match for the tag titles but here’s Ron Killings to interrupt. He wants to know what Low Ki is smoking and thinks there’s a conspiracy. Truth demands the match right now so here’s the challenger.

NWA World Title: Low Ki vs. Ron Killings

Killings throws him around to start but Low Ki takes out the leg to send Truth to the floor. Low Ki follows him out but gets sent into the barricade over and over. Ki comes back with a kick and climbs onto the barricade, only to be kicked in the jaw, sending him into the crowd. They fight up to the stage with Low Ki sending Truth into the cages by the entrance. Truth whips him into the side of the ramp and crushes Low Ki with an anvil case to take over.

We head back into the ring with Truth getting a pair of two counts and stomping Low Ki down into the corner. An ax kick puts Low Ki down for two as Plumtree is watching again. Truth cranks on the arms but but Low Ki comes back with something like a Pele kick. The comeback doesn’t work though as Truth pounds him down in the corner again. Another kick to the face puts Truth down again for two as the fans are entirely behind the bald guy.

Low Ki fires off more kicks but walks into something like a Downward Spiral before it’s back to a double armbar. This hasn’t been all that interesting so far. A powerslam puts Low Ki down for two but Truth misses a 450 to give Low Ki an opening. Low Ki hits a spinning springboard kick to the face but can’t make a cover. A running forearm gets two on Truth and it’s off to a Dragon Sleeper on the ropes but it only lasts a few seconds.

Back up and Truth takes it to the corner for a kneeling Muscle Buster, good for two. Low Ki blocks a Stunner and hooks the Dragon Sleeper again, only to have Truth fight out a few seconds later. Truth goes up but gets caught by an enziguri, crotching him on the top. Low Ki goes up for a superplex but gets caught in a sitout front superplex to retain the title.

Rating: C. This picked up a good bit at the end but I couldn’t get into it for the most part. Truth is just kind of there at the moment as champion and the war against the X-Division isn’t doing much for me. Low Ki isn’t a guy I care for most of the time and the title never felt like it was in jeopardy here.

Post match a guy dressed all in white comes in and beats down Truth.

Tenay hypes NWA house shows.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Flying Elvises

The SAT’s are Joel and Jose Maximo and the Elvises are Jimmy Yang and Jorge Estrada. The winners of this get a tag title shot in a week. Joel takes Estrada down and hits a dropkick to the side of the head for two. Estrada comes back with something resembling a Stunner for two and it’s off to Yang. Both Maximos come in and get caught by spinwheel kicks to keep the Elvises in control. Joel gets in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Jose who gets two off a suplex.

Back to Estrada who takes over on Jose as Plumtree is watching yet again. The Maximos hit a double dropkick for two on the now legal Yang as this match is falling apart. Joel and Jose hit a bad looking sequence with a dropkick each into a sitout powerbomb by Jose for two. Yang comes back with a great looking moonsault press for two as Sonny Siaki is watching from the ramp as well.

Yang enziguris Jose down and it’s hot tag to Estrada who suplexes Joel down and gets two off a Lionsault. Jorge misses a guillotine legdrop and everything breaks down. Yang clotheslines Jose into a sunset flip for two and here’s Siaki on the apron for a tag. Jorge goes to tag him but Siaki drops to the floor, allowing the Maximos to hit a Doomsday DDT for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. This was a huge mess and not a good sign for either team. It was a bad looking spotfest with no flow to it whatsoever, but that’s no excuse for the match to be bad. Red and Shark Boy had the same kind of match to open the show but it was light years better than this mess.

Jerry Lynn jumps Siaki in the back for costing him the world title shot. AJ Styles comes in to help Siaki in a double team. They throw Lynn into an anvil case and AJ dances on top of it. It’s as disturbing as it sounds.

Sonny Siaki vs. David Young

Young is most famous for losing something like 100 straight matches. Siaki scores with right hands but gets slammed down and backdropped for his troubles. Sonny bails to the floor for a bit, only to have his face slammed into the apron. Young, a decent sized guy, hits an Asai Moonsault followed by a hurricanrana back inside for two. Siaki comes back with something resembling a slam into a Diamond Cutter for two to take over as the match slows down.

Young is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a running shoulder to the ribs for two as Siaki is in control. David grabs a quick northern lights suplex for two but Sonny takes him right back down with a standing flip legdrop for two of his own. Sonny suplexes him into the corner for two but Young comes back with a spinebuster, apparently his finisher, for no cover. Instead David goes up and misses a moonsault, allowing Siaki to hit the Money Clip (reverse Cross Rhodes) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here as Siaki is much better on the mic instead of in the ring. The problem is without the Elvis bit, Siaki is really just a generic heel with nothing all that special in the ring. Young was a guy with a look and some nice high spots but he doesn’t have that it factor that makes you want to watch him. Nothing match but it wasn’t bad.

We get a far too dramatic video on last week’s tag title tables match.

Ron Harris and his new partner Ashley Hudson, an Aussie that I’ve never heard of before, say they’ll win the titles. Ron tells his brother Don to remember their pact.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Ron Harris/Ashley Hudson

Oh jeez Storm has guns now. Hudson starts with Storm in a slap off followed by a chase scene around the ring. Back in and Storm slaps Hudson in the back of the head before it’s off to Chris Harris for some double teaming. We get Harris vs. Harris, only to have Storm hit a missile dropkick on Ron followed by a high cross body from Chris for two. Chris spears the legal Hudson down before bringing Storm back in to pound away in the corner.

Hudson finally comes back with a clothesline to bring in Ron for some corner stomping. Some running clotheslines have Storm in trouble before it’s back to Hudson for some choking. Back to Ron for a big boot and a side slam but Storm avoids a charge in the corner. Hot tag brings in Chris as everything breaks down. The Catatonic (spin out Rock Bottom) gets two on Hudson but Ron accidentally kicks Hudson down, giving Storm the pin.

Rating: D. This was long and dull. I don’t know what the appeal of Ron Harris and whatever partner of the week he has is, but just get us to the Harris Brothers reunion so no one can care about it and we can move on. AMW is good but they’re the only decent team in the tag division and it’s really showing.

Post match Ron beats Hudson and Chris Harris down. Don Harris comes out to break up the fight and stares his brother down before punching him in the face to stop Ron.

Jerry Lynn is banged up.

X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles

Jerry is defending and this is a ladder match. AJ goes right for the bad neck with forearms and a snap across the top rope to take over. Jerry comes back with a dropkick but is easily taken down by a neckbreaker. It’s ladder time with AJ laying Jerry on top of the steel for a slingshot hilo. The ladder is catapulted into Jerry’s face but AJ wants a chair instead of the title. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron before baseball sliding the ladder into AJ’s face for good measure.

Lynn’s climb for the belt is quickly stopped so he shoves the ladder straight into AJ’s head to put him down. The ladder is set up in the corner but AJ counters a whip to send Jerry into the steel. Jerry blocks a tornado DDT off the ladder but AJ slams him down and climbs the ladder, only to get taken down by a sunset bomb. A clothesline puts AJ down as the Plumtree stuff continues. AJ comes back with a Death Valley Driver into the ladder and a springboard legdrop to crush the bad neck even more.

Styles goes up but Jerry easily pulls him back down as Sonny Siaki comes back down to ringside. The distraction lets AJ break up a climb attempt and both guys are down again. AJ dropkicks Jerry down off the ladder and the fans are getting into this again. Styles bridges the ladder between the ring and the barricade but Lynn escapes a slam and suplexes AJ onto the ladder.

Back inside again and Jerry goes up, only to have AJ shove the ladder over, sending Jerry into the referee. They fight over a chair until Jerry sweeps AJ’s leg out and hits a Fameasser onto the chair. AJ is busted open and Lynn pounds at the cut with a violence you don’t often see from him. Jerry still can’t get the title down though as AJ tries a powerbomb, only to have the champion counter into a hurricanrana.

Both guys slowly climb up and they slug it out on top with Lynn hitting something like a suplex to take both guys down. Jerry goes up again but this time he catches a diving AJ with a midair clothesline. Lynn climbs the corner but has to dive onto Siaki instead of staying on Styles. AJ hits a huge springboard dive to take Jerry out, landing almost entirely on Lynn’s neck. AJ goes up and pulls down the title to win.

Rating: B. Another good match between these guys but they need to move on to someone else. They’re on the verge of losing their heat as the people are going to start getting bored. At the end of the day, you can only have good matches like this for so long before the quality starts to slip. Still though, good stuff and it opens a new feud with Siaki for Jerry.

Post match Lynn goes for Siaki but AJ and Sonny beat him down. The rest of the X-Division makes the save. Bob Armstrong comes out to say that Jerry gets the title back because of the interference. There’s going to be another ladder match with AJ getting yet another shot. That’s totally bogus as there are no DQ’s in ladder matches, meaning AJ broke no rules.

Don West hypes up next week’s show. Chris Rock will be here next week filming parts of Head of State.

Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac/BG James

Before the match BG does Scott Hall’s hey yo to a modest reaction at best. BG rambles about payback and Pac says he’s going to take Lawler’s woman but if Lawler wins, he can watch Pac and the girlfriend. After that nonsense, it’s time for the main event that almost no one cares about. Naturally it’s a huge brawl before anyone gets in the ring with people being rammed into various objects.

We finally start with Pac vs. Jarrett in the ring and there’s even a referee now. Jarrett takes over with a nice dropkick but Pac comes back with a spinwheel kick to the jaw. Jeff gets up a boot in the corner and it’s off to Lawler. The fans chant Jerry’s Kid which applies to either Jarrett or Lawler. Pac clotheslines Lawler down and brings in BG for some finger bending (seriously) and right hands. A Jarrett distraction allows Lawler to superkick BG down, followed by some fish hooking of BG’s jaws.

There’s a bulldog for two on James and Lawler demands that April watch. Brian pounds in right hands to BG’s head but a second bulldog attempt results in Lawler being crotched in the corner. Hot tag brings in Pac to clean house, including a sitout powerbomb for two on Jarrett. Both heels get Bronco Busters but the X-Factor to Lawler is badly botched. Cue Elix Skipper to lay Pac out, giving Lawler two.

Jeff hooks a sleeper on Pac but it’s only good for two arm drops. Pac hooks a sleeper of his own but gets sent into the ropes for the break. A double clothesline takes the heels down and it’s back to BG. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with BG pinning Lawler with the pumphandle slam.

Rating: D+. This was the usual from these guys: nothing special and the fans don’t care about them for the most part. I’m not even sure why most of these guys are fighting in the first place. I believe Jarrett disrespected BG’s dad and that’s about it. No one cares about Lawler and the reactions confirm that theory. It’s not a horrible match but it didn’t help the story at all.

Post match Skipper comes in for the 3-2 beatdown but Amazing Red and the SATs come out for the save. It’s a huge brawl with Killings coming out as well to help the heels to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well I’ve seen worse, but that’s not something you want to hear about a company that’s not even four months old yet. There’s a lot of WCW in this company: the stuff in the middle and the bottom of the card is good but the main event stuff doesn’t do much for anyone. Still though, this went by relatively quickly and they’re setting up stuff for the future which is a good sign. Not a bad show here.

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No Surrender 2008
Date: September 14, 2008
Location: General Motors Centre, Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Someone requested this and I needed to do a TNA show anyway so here you are. This is kind of an awkward time for TNA as the Mafia hasn’t formed yet and there isn’t a big angle going on. The main event is supposed to be a four way with Joe vs. Booker vs. Cage vs. Angle but Booker had travel issues of some sort and can’t be here. Other than that we have an MMA match because EVERYONE that watches wrestling wants to see MMA right? Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how some say these people are performers and how this may not be a sport. Just let us know it’s fake guys! That all isn’t true apparently and it took a lot for all four guys in the main event to get here tonight.

Oh one thing more: like I said Booker was never here. The fans on PPV were told that. The 3,500 people in the arena were left in the dark about it and were confused. Nice guys up there in TNA. This is what I mean by not thinking.

The stupid intro video is still going now and runs over three minutes. GET ON WITH THE SHOW!

Here’s Sting. Not for a match but because he wants to talk I guess. He’s on the verge of a heel turn but is still very popular because he’s Sting. Naturally we need to turn him heel right Russo? Sting talks about how good it is to be back in Canada and says he’s in the hiz-ouse. Oh sweet merciful crap don’t start talking like that Stinger. Big ovation for Sting who has to pause because of all the cheering.

He gets the winner of the main event tonight at Bound For Glory but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. Instead he wants to talk about respect. Sting keeps flubbing his lines and you can tell he’s scrambling for some reason. He goes on a rant about respect and how some of the guys behind the curtain have no respect for anyone at all. Sting compares himself to Bret Hart and says that he’s fighting for the same thing as Bret did. He’s not retiring until guys like AJ and Joe know what respect is.

We’re over 10 minutes into the show now and we haven’t even started the first entrance yet.

Christian got here earlier today. Well good to see that he didn’t get lost an hour away from his hometown.

Booker won’t be here tonight. Again, the live fans were never told about this. There was a hurricane or something like that.

Now we run down the already purchased show to waste more time.

HOKEY SMOKE IT’S A MATCH AND WE’RE ONLY FOURTEEN MINUTES IN!

Rock N Rave Infection/Christy Hemme vs. Prince Justice Brotherhood

The Brotherhood is Super Eric (Young in a bad superhero gimmick), Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man in one of the dumbest gimmicks even by TNA standards. The Infection is a bad rock band gimmick that played Guitar Hero controllers and had the smoking hot Christy Hemme as their manager. Eric vs. Rave to start with Eric taking over.

Eric gets a plancha to the floor which gets two back in the ring. Lance Rock comes in which gets his team nowhere so it’s off to Shark Boy. Thesz Press takes down Rock again as the good guys are dominating. Shark Boy is the same Steve Austin parody that was on Impact the other night. Over to Curry Man who gets a pop for no apparent reason other than a potential lack of oxygen in the arena.

Curry Man tags in Christy and we’re in a comedy match officially. He shoves her off and then realizes where his head was so he offers to go back into it again. Funny spot. Off to Shark Boy and Rave. Back drop sends Shark Boy (I refused to refer to him as Sharky like West and Tenay keep doing) to the floor as momentum changes.

Jawbreaker almost gets Shark Boy a tag but Rock N Rave get something close to a 3D but into a knee instead of a cutter. Christy comes in and is dropped onto Shark Boy by Rock. Cold tag to Curry Man (I thought he was hot and spicy?) who gets a flying hip to Rock. He and Hemme dance a bit and she gets kissed. Rollup gets two but Rock drills Curry so that Christy can hit the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (don’t ask) for two. Chummer (Stunner) to Christy and a double Death Valley Driver to the guys from Curry Man end this.

Rating: C+. Basic fast paced and fun match to start us off here which is often times the best idea to open a show. Christy was the only good thing about the Infection as she looked great as the groupie. This was just here for comedy and to warm the crowd up and it did that rather well. Good opener.

Recap of Kong vs. ODB. Kong had been completely dominant and ODB is the only Knockout that isn’t terrified of her. Naturally that means falls count anywhere. Don’t you see the clear connection?

Awesome Kong vs. ODB

Funny sign: “Kong Ate My Sign” and there’s a chuck out of it which looks like teeth marks. I’m still not sure I get the point of ODB but she got pops (put her on TNN!) so I guess that makes sense. Saed, Kong’s manager, jumps ODB during her entrance/playing to the crowd/wasting time and we’re off.

ODB fights Kong off and apparently falls count anywhere means hardcore as there’s a table. At least ODB has pants on here. We head into the crowd as this is going to be a big old brawl. Naturally you can’t see much but ODB being in blue-green helps a lot. Trash can to Kong has her in trouble. Up to the ramp where Kong tosses ODB around and gets a slam for two.

All Kong here as ODB feels herself up after a chop for no apparent reason. Thesz Press on the floor gets two for ODB. Hey let’s spank the overly large woman for no apparent reason. We get ready to use the table that they set up earlier. ODB gets a chair from somewhere and gets a shot in with it for two.

The fans want tables. I wonder if they’ll settle for just one. Kong reverses a slam into an attempted Awesome Bomb but another counter by ODB. It winds up failing as Kong continues taking over. Kong goes up but gets caught in a powerbomb as Saed’s distraction fails.

ODB out to the floor where Saed hammers away. Apparently ODB took the burqa (scarf over the face) off on Impact and Saed isn’t happy. The less fat one fights her off and tries to come off the top but jumps into a chokeslam. Ok scratch the chokeslam as it’s a splash in the corner and a spinning backfist.

Instead of covering though she and Saed set up another table in the corner. ODB gets a shot from her flask (as in a drink) as West says she needs some Liquid Courage (doesn’t sound bad right now. When’s their next show anyway?). She spits it in Kong’s face which doesn’t mean anything as a spinebuster through the table from Kong ends this.

Rating: D+. It’s ok but it’s another of those silly “hardcore” brawls that WWF perfected in the late 90s. Definitely not a bad match but these two got kind of boring to see fight over and over again. Saed never really clicked that well and I’m not sure I got the point of her other than as an aide to Kong. Not bad but pretty weak overall.

The absolutely gorgeous Lauren is with Christian who says this is TNA, not the Hills. Uh, ok? OH! The Hills was a really bad reality show on MTV at this time. Totally forgot about that and it gives me hope for Jersey Shore dying soon. He’s a wrestler that has sacrificed everything for this business and he owes everything he has to it. It all started an hour from here and everyone told him he’d never do it and never make it to the top which he proved wrong. Tonight is more important than when he won his first two world titles because tonight it’s at home. Great stuff here. Generic, but great.

We recap Team 3D vs. Abyss/Morgan. This is during the Abyss loves pain thing which went on for like a year and stopped being interesting/making sense about three days in. He’s been in an institution for six months and is in control of his violent urges now apparently. Morgan is there just because he wants to be I guess.

Team 3D vs. Abyss/Matt Morgan

Abyss has the gray mask on now. Abyss vs. Ray to start us off. Wow that sounds awful beyond words. Mike points out how rare it is to have the Dudleys being at a weight disadvantage which is rather true. Ray with a Rock Bottom for two. Off to D-Von and we actually hear that Abyss has been a world champion. You never hear about that anymore and I’m not quite sure why.

Morgan and Abyss take over so the Dudleys say they’re out of here. Morgan goes after them and the fight is on again. Back in the ring and D-Von works over the knee of Abyss. Off to Ray who does the same which makes me think they’re needing a nap already. The fans, again, want tables. Morgan comes in and the fight is finally on.

Not much of a match so far as this is a lot of laying around and bad brawling. Morgan takes D-Von down with a big shoulder block as this finally speeds up a bit. Morgan does Old School to massive booing. He dives off the top to hit D-Von with a cross body which gets the crowd behind him again.

Morgan sets for the Hellavator on D-Von but Johnny Devine, the associate of Team 3D, pops Morgan with a chair from behind for two. Everything is already broken down if you didn’t get that yet. Double clothesline takes down 3D and brings in Abyss. Shock Treatment to Devine and hits ten punches in the corner to D-Von. Odd sight for some reason.

In a very impressive spot the Dudleys manage to get a Doomsday Device on Abyss. That was incredibly impressive. Morgan saves and Abyss is up seconds later. Chokeslam to D-Von gets two. Abyss picks up a chair but can’t manage to swing it. D-Von gets it but has it punched into his face by Morgan and the Black Hole Slam ends it.

Rating: C. Eh this wasn’t too bad. It’s the Dudleys vs. some random pairing so it’s kind of hard to really get into it. Morgan had so many random partners (ok so it was more like two) that it was hard to differentiate between them. Nothing special here but it wasn’t anything horrible so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.

Post match Ray cracks Morgan with a chair and does the same to Abyss but Ray puts the chair in Abyss’ hands and I think you know what the idea here is.

Various friends of the people in the X Title triple threat say their friend will win. It sounds like the beginning of a really stupid puzzle.

X–Division Title: Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Petey Williams vs. Consequences Creed

Let’s get this over with as it’s a random EVIL Muslim against two other guys. Williams is champion coming in. Creed is some big time American hero character like Apollo Creed. Williams is the home country favorite and gets a modest reaction. Rhaka Khan is with him for some reason. Sheik hits the floor early so it’s Williams vs. Creed.

Earl Hebner is the referee so we get the YOU SCREWED BRET chants. Bashir back in now and it’s your usual mostly entertaining spot fest for awhile now. Big dive by Creed takes both guys out and then he celebrates with the fans who likely should hate him. Two minutes in and the fans think this is awesome already. Williams gets a slingshot Codebreaker on Creed.

This is so spotty it’s unreal. By spotty I mean it’s do this move then go onto the next one. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it’s not as fun as it should be as it could be better structured. This is because of Shane Sewell being an overly fair referee so it’s supposed to just be Creed but Bashir said there was something fishy going on and it’s a triple threat.

Williams takes down both guys and the fans are into him. Basically the idea is that if he hits the Canadian Destroyer the roof will go off. A double one doesn’t work as both guys realize they have a guy helping them break it up and break it up with ease. Bashir gets a middle rope suplex on Williams but Creed dives in with a double guillotine legdrop for two. Destroyer to Creed is teased but Creed counters.

Williams gets a Sharpshooter to Bashir and of course we reference Montreal because EVERYONE wants to hear about that again right? That nearly 45 seconds of selling by Creed might be more than the whole match combined. The selling here is really quite bad and that’s what’s hurting it a lot. With all this lack of selling why should I buy into the moves? As I say that Williams gets the running Destroyer (flip Piledriver) and Bashir steals the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It’s ok, but the problem with TNA is the same that WWE had: why in the world should I care about these lightweight matches? There’s no story to it other than a referee that has nothing to do with this match. It’s just there. There were some nice spots and some cool moves, but this match came and went and I’m not going to remember it in fifteen minutes or so, which is the truth of almost every X Division match that doesn’t have AJ in it. The same is true today and that’s not good.

Samoa Joe, the world champion, is here, over an hour into the show.

We recap the Knockouts Title match between Wilde and Love. Angelina is a witch and wants the title. That’s about it.

Knockouts Title: Taylor Wilde vs. Angelina Love

If nothing else Velvet looks great in more or less a bikini bottom. Oh and they have Cute Kip with them to annoy me. Wilde has one of those annoying videos where they show clips of her coming to the ring while she comes to the ring so you can never tell which is which. Wilde gets on the mic and says she isn’t going to be against three people tonight and brings out Rhyno. I get why I’ve never heard her talk otherwise.

Big brawl to start with both chicks landing punches and rolling around on the mat. Well you can’t argue they’re not giving the people what the want. Traci Brooks comes out to watch the match and take notes. She’s in charge of the division here for no apparent reason. Out to the floor where Velvet drills Taylor with a makeup kit to give Angelina the control. Angelina runs Taylor’s eyes along the top rope. It would help if there hadn’t been a clear 8 inches between her face and the rope but take what you can get I suppose.

Taylor comes back a bit and attempts a suplex from the middle rope. Love counters into kind of almost a bad Gordbuster off the middle rope to take over again. Taylor gets a quick rollup for two. She kicks Angelina’s head off and Kip comes in. Rhyno Gores him as Velvet gets on the apron and then knocked off so a Northern Lights Suplex ends Angelina.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak little match here but it wasn’t completely awful. This was another match when Angelina was still pretty bad in the ring. She would get a lot better, but that doesn’t mean that there was heat on any of these matches, because there certainly was none to be seen here.

We recap Lethal vs. Dutt in the Ladder of Love match. Both love So Cal Val and Val is tired of being in the middle of it. Lethal proposed to her and told her either she stop associating with Dutt or he’s gone. The solution of course: a ladder match to get her, whatever that entails. In other words, a single match is supposed to determine her feelings for one of these guys. What a freaking witch.

Oh and I almost forgot: these three were supposed to be the modern Hogan/Savage/Liz. Let that sink in for a minute.

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

Aww they both brought flowers. If nothing else we can look at Val in a blue dress. Oh and if you can’t see the turn coming from a mile away here, you’re blind. Ladder of Love sounds like a really bad reality show that gets a big rating on network TV. It’s of course a big gymnastics exhibition to start us off. And now that we’re into a big feud and gimmick match, we’re told that Salinas has been attacked by Jackie in the bathroom and is gone for the night. How riveting.

Dutt is sent into the ladder early on as Lethal has dominated the entire time. Lethal gets a back drop onto the ladder which is bridged between the barricade and the ring to half kill Dutt. Lethal goes up but Dutt gets a springboat to get onto the ladder and make the save. The fans think this is awesome. Not entirely true but it’s getting there. Lethal puts a ladder on top of a ladder so it would be like a T if the vertical ladder was closed.

Sonjay crotches Lethal and West says Lethal is wearing a ladder as pants. Lethal gets caught in a Tree of Woe with his head in a ladder so Dutt hits a baseball slide to more or less kill him. Dutt gets some chairs because that’s what heels do I guess. Out to the floor now where Lethal can’t get a powerbomb onto a ladder but Dutt can get a neckbreaker onto said ladder.

This is pretty good stuff so far. West: We should put a woman on the line every time! Naturally Lethal can get back in almost immediately and we have a pair of ladders set up now. Lethal manages to get stuck laid across two ladders so Dutt hooks a camel clutch on top of the ladders in a pretty cool looking visual.

Lethal manages to flip Dutt over so he crashes to the mat. Jay’s foot is caught in the ladder though so Val comes in to help him out. Dutt gets in her face until Lethal helps her. While he’s checking on her Dutt tries to get up the ladder. Lethal chases him and naturally Val hits him low so that Dutt can get the win. They make out post match.

Rating: B. Rather fun match here with both guys hammering each other rather well. The ending was of course about as predictable as anything you could ask for but the buildup to it worked rather well. This more or less ended the interaction between these two and Dutt never meant anything anymore.

JB talks to Angle about the problems with Booker who isn’t here tonight. Angle says Joe’s name will never be in the same book as his. Christian sucks too because he’s from Canada. Oh and he remembers Jarrett too because they have to be joined at the hip every 8 seconds.

We recap LAX vs. Beer Money and their apparent hardcore match last month which looks rather softcore to me. Beer Money messed up Homicide’s eye with a beer bottle so Hernandez says a lot of incomprehensible things to be all tough.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

This should be pretty good at least due to the talent in there. It’s the only thing that either guy in LAX is good at so this is as good as it’s getting. Beer Money is still kind of new here apparently and just won the titles last month. LAX has Hector Guerrero (Eddie’s more talented and dead ringer of a brother) with them. Jackie is with Beer Money to make things all the more annoying.

Storm has one of those football helmets with drinks in it. Homicide and Roode start wich Roode running early. I still don’t see the future world champion in him that everyone else claims to see and I’ve always found Homicide overrated so this isn’t exactly ideal conditions for me. Homicide jumps him but runs into a shot to the eye for Roode to take over again.

Hernandez makes a blind (ironic no?) tag in and drills Roode with a slingshot shoulder block. Jackie’s distraction lets the champions take over so that Hernandez can be beaten down. Off to Storm as we hear about how awesome Beer Money is. Hernandez almost gets a powerbomb on Storm but Roode gets a chop block to take him down. Double suplex has SuperMex in trouble.

Does anyone else laugh at a referee named Slick Johnson? The fans like LAX despite Roode being Canadian. The champions keep Hernandez from tagging out and call Homicide a very bad word and flip him off. Homicide gets a tag that is so hot that I missed the reaction to it. Have some enthusiasm there fans. DDT from the second rope gets two on Roode.

Spinebuster gets two for Roode as Hernandez saves. Everything breaks down with LAX in control here. Hernandez backdrops Homicide over the top and out to the floor to take out Roode. A big dive by Hernandez doesn’t happen since Storm spits beer in his face. Hector and Jackie get into it on the floor. A beer bottle shot by Homicide misses Storm.

Big dive by Hernandez takes out Storm so we’re back to Homicide vs. Roode in the ring. They counter finishers for a bit until the Gringo Cutter drills Roode for no cover. Gringo Killer is blocked by powder from Jackie (I guess the white stuff on his face is undetectable or something) and a Fisherman’s suplex from Roode ends Homicide in a rather short match.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like this one at all for some reason. An 8 minute tag title match feels far too short for some reason. There was zero heat from the crowd on the tags or the big spots at all which hurt it a lot also. The champions never seemed to be in anything resembling danger at all which hurt it a lot. Pretty weak match here and it didn’t click at all.

We recap Frank Trigg vs. AJ for one of his two matches in this company. Since he’s now a wrestler, this is an MMA match. No word on why they’re fighting, but they certainly are. It isn’t helping Trigg that he’s nearly a dead ringer for Angle.

Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles

Yeah because this is going to work very well. Trigg gets on the mic and somehow he’s managing to kill this crowd even further. He cuts one of the most painfully generic heel promos I’ve ever heard while holding the American Flag. SHUT UP AND GET THE HECK ON WITH THIS!!! The fans don’t care so of course Trigg keeps talking. FINALLY AJ gets out here to breathe some life into this place.

They’re doing five minute rounds here to make it all the stupid. I don’t watch wrestling to see MMA. If I wanted to see that I’d watch MMA! Why is that so complicated for so many wrestling companies? Are we supposed to buy that AJ would have a chance at all against Trigg in a legit MMA fight? You can only win by knockout or tap out here.

Naturally, Trigg owns AJ for the most part here, making AJ look completely weak and that there is no skill at all in wrestling. Nice job TNA. We hit the floor for a bit where AJ looks even stupider. Trigg gets about his 9th takedown in maybe two and a half minutes as the fans are clearly getting restless. What a great way to use one of the best guys on the roster!

The fans want wrestling to the shock of no one that thinks these things through. What’s TNA”s next great move? SHOW THE FANS CHANTING THAT! AJ has hit maybe two punches the whole time. The fans are booing the living heck out of this. LOUD Fire Russo chant now as Trigg spanks AJ after about the 112th takedown. The announcers try to say that Trigg is gaining respect for AJ or something like that. AJ gets an armbar to end the round and the bell rings so everyone thinks AJ won by tapout but it’s just a rest period instead to further tick the fans off.

The second round starts….and AJ accidentally hits Trigg low for a no contest. OH FREAKING NO! We really sat through six minutes of this nonsense to get to this? WOW. AJ hits the floor to be all ticked off. The fans chant THIS IS BULL as everyone is right. AJ wears Trigg out with a kendo stick post match to half booing/half cheering as this continues but it also was the awful ending. Trigg hasn’t been seen since.

Rating: P. As in PAY ATTENTION WRESTLING BOOKERS BECAUSE FANS DO NOT WANT TO WATCH FREAKING MMA ON A WRESTLING SHOW!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR FREAKING HEADS ALREADY!!! This was awful and made AJ look awful in case you couldn’t tell.

AJ shouts at the announcers that he’s a wrestler and that he doesn’t do that stuff. Holy shooting Batman!

Joe says that he’s like an animal with enemies closing in on him from all around. He talks about how he has no respect for Sting who has nothing to do with the main event. He talks about how Sting is never at any of the house shows because he’s here for the fame and not for the hard work. Good stuff here from the fat man.

Overly dramatic video about the world title match which is a triple threat with the challengers qualifying. And remember, the fans DO NOT KNOW Booker won’t be there. He’s in the video too so it’s not really helping things.

TNA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

Each guy gets a brief video and then their actual entrance. It’s coming off like they have too much time on their hands which is odd as they had a good deal of matches and the tag title match was short. Sting comes out after Joe and the fight is on in the aisle! Could they make it any more obvious that this is the main event of BFG? AJ comes out to pull Joe off as we waste some more time.

Now we do big match intros. The introductions started almost ten minutes ago once these are done. The Instant Classic is a great nickname. Angle gets double teamed to start with Christian hitting a jumping back elbow off the middle rope. The idea is that Booker was supposed to more or less make it an unofficial tag so Angle is in trouble. Joe and Christian square off in the middle which I guess is supposed to be epic but it just isn’t.

Christian slaps him and the fight is on. Leg lariat takes the Canadian down as Angle is still down. There’s the bald guy and Joe grabs the Clutch out of nowhere which West thinks is a cover for no apparent reason. Ankle lock to Christian after Christian saved Angle. What a jerk! Angle suplexes Christian over the top and there goes the Canadian’s knee.

We hit the chinlock now as we’re really hammering in that whole waste time thing. Christian gets up and crotches Angle on the post before hitting a cross body on Joe for two. Angle pops back up as I guess his Olympic balls aren’t hurt by hitting a post. He gets a German on Joe and then snaps up the ropes to hit a belly to belly on Christian. Unprettier is blocked into another German as this is going very, very quickly and not in the best way you would think of.

Joe starts busting out Germans to Angle. Christian gets out of the MuscleBuster. Tower of Doom looks pretty good and Joe gets two on both guys. You would think that would somehow be more than three but not quite I guess. Angle tries to get a German to Christian off the apron to the floor but Christian counters into the Pendulum Kick. Angle grabs the ankle and jumps over to get it on in the ring.

Christian saves so he gets an ankle lock. Angle is like screw it and puts it on both guys at once. MuscleBuster to Christian but Angle distracts the referee so there’s a delayed cover for two. Joe hits a huge corkscrew tope con hilo to take out the challengers on the floor. It’s a cool looking move but I really want this match to end and soon. Back in the ring Angle gets the Slam to Joe and Christian adds a splash and the Unprettier but Angle pulls out the referee.

Angle drills the referee and everyone is down. Totally unprotected chairs shot to the head of Christian and Joe set up the ankle lock on Joe. I hate those things as they add nothing at all to the match and can hurt people badly. At least get a hand up or something guys. Jarrett comes down and drills Angle with the guitar, allowing Joe to hit a MuscleBuster to get the pin on Angle and retain. Jarrett raises Joe’s hand to end the show.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part but the pacing was way off for the vast majority of it which hurts it a lot. There more or less was no building part or beginning part with the vast majority of the fifteen minutes feeling like one really long ending sequence. It’s not bad at all and some of the spots are good, but it’s more or less a throwaway match which isn’t what you want to end a PPV. Also Joe was about as obviously going to win as possible here.

Overall Rating: D. This show took me four days to get through. The wrestling is weak, the matches are forgettable at best and it’s a long commercial for Bound For Glory. The main point of this show seemed to be Joe making sure he got to Sting at BFG and everyone else just making sure they had spots there. This is a show that if you didn’t see you would miss absolutely nothing. The ladder match is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Totally boring show but not completely bad. Watch it if you can’t sleep.

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Unbreakable
Date: September 11, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

For those of you that keep track, this is the final TNA PPV that I haven’t done. The reason I chose this one for the last spot is the main event, which is universally considered the best TNA match of all time. Meltzer gave it five stars and I have yet to hear anyone say anything bad about it. The interesting thing is this is during the dark ages for the company, as they’re off TV here and wouldn’t get back on for another three weeks or so. Due to that and the main event, the rest of the show is almost totally forgotten. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is themed like an old school radio announcer and how TNA is the new national pastime. It runs down the main events, which also includes Raven vs. Rhyno for the title. That and the triple threat are the only matches mentioned. I liked this and the stupid idea was kind of cute.

3 Live Kru vs. Diamonds in the Rough

The Diamonds are Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper and David Young. After Konnan does his usual schtick, Elix and BG start things off. This was the same pairing that started off the match at the previous PPV I did. Elix uses his speed to control early but BG comes back with the same moveset he’s been using for years. Young tries to come in and gets double teamed by Killings and James. Back to Skipper and the Diamonds get in some triple team action on the former Road Dogg. Seriously, that’s what they call him quite a few times. BG escapes, hot tags Konnan, a shoe is thrown and the X-Factor pins Young. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? It was like four minutes long and the match sucked. This was a horrible choice for an opener but I guess the fans are happy with the ending. The Diamonds were a really weak mini stable and I don’t think anyone ever cared about them in any way, shape or form. Really bad choice to start the show here.

We recap the preshow with Brown, Jarrett and Hardy all wanting the BFG title match. That would go to Kevin Nash on paper but Rhyno in reality.

Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong

Aries takes him to the mat immediately as the fans chant about Generation Next. West explains that they’re stable mates in ROH as Strong takes over again. Aries (who looks really weird without his mustache) nips up and takes over again. A dropkick sets up a headlock on the mat for Aries as Austin is in control. Strong tries the Strong Hold but Aries spins out of it and we get a standoff.

Aries’ monkey flip is countered and Strong busts out the backbreakers. He throws Aries into the buckle for two and follows it up with a butterfly suplex for the same. Another backbreaker gets two and Strong stays on the back. He mixes it up by putting on a full nelson with his legs, only to get rolled up for two. Strong goes to a safer chinlock but Aries pops up. That gets him nowhere though as Roderick dropkicks him down for two.

Strong is continuing his career run of not being that interesting in the ring with this match. Aries comes back with a clothesline and hits the Pendulum Elbow for two. The slingshot spinning splash gets the same and Strong is in trouble. A backbreaker out of nowhere (he’s the Messiah of them you know) gets Strong control again and the double knee gutbuster gets a VERY close two. Aries blocks the Strong Hold and hits the corner dropkick. The brainbuster sets up the 450 for the pin on Strong.

Rating: B-. Fun match but it came and went. There’s nothing else to this one at all with no story behind it or anything. This was a way for these guys to get out there and fly around a little bit which worked, but it doesn’t advance anything or prove anything. It was a good match and that’s all it was supposed to be though.

Monty Brown isn’t worried about teaming with Kip James. Cue Kip who says Monty should apologize to Jarrett for wanting a title match. Monty says no so Kip says get your head in the game. Brown says his catchphrase and that’s about it.

Monty Brown/Kip James vs. Lance Hoyt/Apolo

James/Brown injured Apolo’s normal partner Sonny Siaki so this is about revenge. Hoyt and Kip start and this could get bad in a hurry. Lance is a big guy with some agility but he needs someone to work well off of. Kip tries his usual stuff but can’t do anything against Hoyt’s power. After getting slammed by Lance, James heads to the floor for a break. We’ll try Monty instead and it’s the same result minus the break.

Off to Apolo who is a short but well built guy who was a big star in Puerto Rico but he just kind of left TNA one day and was never heard from again. Monty, the biggest star in this match (at this point) gets beaten back and forth for a few minutes like a pinball. It’s FINALLY off to Kip who has a bit more luck. Now we get to the meat of the match with Hoyt in trouble, which is an acceptable option.

Brown and Kip take turns on the big man, trying to keep him down with work on the knee. Brown keeps him in the ring with pure raw power, which is the best thing for a guy like him to do. Off to Kip and he immediately screws up, getting caught in a double clothesline which allows the double tag to bring in Brown and Apolo. Apolo cleans house but gets caught in the Fameasser. That gets James nowhere as he walks into a big boot and the moonsault from Hoyt but Brown knocks him to the floor. Apolo superkicks Kip down but turns around into the Pounce from Brown for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another dull match here but it wasn’t as bad as the opener. Brown was a war machine but he kept getting stuck in stupid matches like this instead of having a big continued push. He wouldn’t have been a great champion but he would have been a solid challenger, kind of like a muscular JBL. This was decent enough though.

Team Canada is without Coach D’Amore due to an injury he has. Petey tries to pep up the team instead and everyone talks about their respective matches tonight.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

Unless I’m mistaken, they play the wrong music here and Petey comes out to Abyss’ music at first. Sabin was supposed to face Shocker but AAA pulled Shocker out so Williams is the replacement. Sabin works on the arm to start and takes Petey down with an armdrag. They head to the floor for nothing but Sabin comes back in with a middle rope elbow. They head back outside but Chris’ sunset bomb off the apron is blocked.

Sabin tries a dive off the apron but hits barricade to give the advantage to the Canadian. Back in now and Williams puts him into the Tree of Woe for O Canada. A backbreaker gets two for Williams but Sabin starts his comeback with shots to the ribs. Petey is like screw that and hits a big DDT for another two. Off to a chinlock as the fans do their dueling chants thing.

Petey chokes away as Tenay talks about September 11 and Hurricane Katrina. Sabin gets in a kick to the back of the head and everyone is down. Chris gets up first and fires off forearms before they trade chops. Sabin takes over with kicks and a fisherman’s buster for two. Cradle Shock and the Destroyer are both countered but Williams grabs a Sharpshooter.

Sabin gets to the ropes and Petey is getting frustrated. A tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Chris and both guys are down again. The Canadian hits a Russian legsweep on the American for no cover. The Destroyer is broken up again but Sabin’s missile dropkick misses. The Sharpshooter goes on again but it’s worse than Rock’s. After that gets broken up, Petey misses a charge into the corner and Sabin drives him into the corner again. The Cradle Shock is broken up again, as is the third Destroyer attempt. Cradle Shock (a fireman’s carry into a kind of piledriver) finally hits for the pin for Sabin.

Rating: B-. It’s Sabin vs. Williams. Were you expecting anything but a good and solid match here? The X-Division was on fire at this point and they could have some random matches like this one or the one earlier and have a good match out of it. Good stuff here and considering there was no story to it, this was pretty impressive.

Matt Bentley returns post match and superkicks both guys. He wants an Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory which I think he wound up getting.

We recap Sabu vs. Abyss. This is fallout from a tag match last month that I don’t remember at all. They’re both violent and that’s about it.

Sabu vs. Abyss

James Mitchell wants to make it No DQ and of course it is. Sabu fires away with right hands but they have next to no effect. Abyss throws him around but Sabu keeps coming, likely due to his history of head trauma. A big boot puts Sabu down but he keeps coming back with chops. The fans want tables less than two minutes into the match. Does foreplay mean nothing to these people?

Instead Sabu gets a chair and pounds away with it, including hitting an Arabian Facebuster with it for two. A clothesline puts both of them on the floor and there’s the table. That one is broken though (as in it broke while he was setting it up) so Abyss sets up one of his own. Sabu uses the distraction to hit a flip dive over the top rope and out onto Abyss. They head back in and Sabu charges straight into a backdrop through the two tables at ringside. That’s a bad stretch of luck for him there.

Abyss sets up a table in the ring but takes FOREVER to do it, allowing Sabu to come back with chair shots to the head. Now the fans want thumbtacks. These people are never satisfied. Sabu goes up top with the chair and drives Abyss through the table for three, but Mitchell puts Abyss’ foot on the rope. You know, because in a match based on pure carnage, a foot on the rope is good enough to break it up.

Abyss goes under the ring and gets the tacks which are spread on the mat. They take turns teasing going into the tacks for a bit until Sabu whacks Abyss with a chair. That gets nowhere so Sabu springboards into a Black Hole Slam onto the tacks for the pin with no feet on the ropes this time.

Rating: C+. It’s Abyss vs. Sabu in a hardcore match. What else were you expecting here? They beat on each other with weapons for awhile, Sabu got thrown around a lot, Abyss got hit in the head with a lot of stuff, and someone got thrown into the tacks. What else were you expecting here? The match was just ok but eventually they would have a solid hardcore match with barbed wire everywhere which was a lot better.

Sean Waltman isn’t here tonight so Alex Shelley, the partner he won the Chris Candido Memorial Tag Team Tournament with, will be getting his title match with someone else.

Tenay and West talk about what we just heard.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy

Geez wouldn’t THIS be a different match today? Hardy is back in the ring after a few months away, I believe doing a no show. They trade clotheslines to start as Hardy tries to use his speed against the power guy of Team Canada. Well the second power guy of Team Canada as A-1 took that spot from him. Roode heads to the floor and Hardy dives onto him to take over. Back in and Hardy loads up Whisper in the Wind but Bobby pulls him onto the ropes to break it up.

A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Bobby as he starts working on the back. Scratch that as it’s a neck crank instead. He switches that up and puts a knee in Jeff’s back and pulls on the arms instead. Hardy comes back with a sunset flip for two but Roode rolls out and hits a low dropkick of all things to take over again. Belly to back suplex gets two. Jeff gets in some right hands and the Whisper in the Wind hits this time for two.

Roode goes back to the back of Hardy but Jeff sweeps the leg and drops his legs between Roode’s legs to slow Roode down again. Jeff goes up but Petey Williams pops up with a hockey stick shot to break up the Swanton. Roode’s superplex attempt is broken up so he runs the ropes like Angle and hits a superplex for a delayed two.

The hockey stick comes in but Jeff kicks him in the ribs and hits the Twist to take Roode down and out to the floor. Jeff loads up a Swanton to the floor but Roode moves before the jump. Petey tries the Destroyer on the floor but Jeff escapes. Now Jeff Jarrett comes out (Hardy attacked Jarrett last month) and blasts the other Jeff with the hockey stick and rolls Roode in for the pin.

Rating: C-. Roode was next to nothing at this point but he was starting to get better. Obviously he would get WAY better eventually as would Hardy, but at this point it was a midcard match. Hardy and Jarrett wouldn’t do much for awhile as they had had their big match almost a year earlier. Not much here but I could think of many worse ways to spend ten minutes.

We recap the tag title match. There was an eight man tag last month between the Naturals (champions), AMW, and Team Canada. Tonight it’s those three teams plus the winners of the Candido tournament in an elimination match. That’s about it.

Jimmy Hart and the Naturals say they’ll keep the belts. AMW comes up for a glare and Storm says his catchphrase.

Tag Titles: The Naturals vs. America’s Most Wanted vs. Team Canada vs. Alex Shelley/???

The Canadians are Eric Young and A-1 here. The Naturals (Andy Douglas with the black hair and Chase Stevens with the blonde) come out with a towel like Chris Candido always had. He was their manager too so that’s a very nice touch. This is elimination rules too. Shelley has no partner here. It’s a big brawl to start until it’s Stevens vs. Storm get us going. Shelley quickly tags himself in to try to steal a pin on Stevens but it only gets two.

Stevens fights back and A-1 hits a knee to Shelley’s back to make sure Stevens isn’t in trouble. That doesn’t sit well with Chase but while he’s yelling, Eric Young tags himself in and beats on Shelley. Off to A-1 for a chop in the corner and a suplex for two. Back to Eric with a front facelock and the double teaming continues. The announcers rip Waltman to no end but Shelley hits a Stunner to Young and a DDT to A-1 at the same time. Johnny Candido, Chris’ brother, jumps over the barricade and gets on the apron to be Shelley’s partner. Not that it matters as he’s almost immediately hit low and rolled up for the pin.

We’re down to three now and it’s Storm vs. Young. There’s the Eye of the Storm for two as AMW is in control. Out to the floor with A-1 interfering again to take over. Back inside and Young gets a suplex for two before A-1 comes in for some choking. Young hooks a chinlock as this match is starting to get dull. Storm FINALLY superkicks Young down and dives for the hot tag to Harris.

Wildcat cleans house and hits a Thesz Press to A-1. Bulldog takes the same guy down but A-1 breaks up the Catatonic. Harris hooks a pretty nice delayed vertical for two on A-1 but as he loads the same move up on Young, A-1 hits him in the back with the hockey stick. Young rolls up Harris for the pin and it’s down to two teams. Stevens comes in again and drops a bunch of legs on Young for two.

Back to Douglas and Young gets the advantage back with some choking. Jimmy leads USA chants on the floor but Douglas gets caught in a Samoan Drop for two. They head to the floor and Eric shoves Jimmy down. That’s crossing a line brother. Douglas hits a jumping knee out of nowhere and there’s the hot tag to Stevens.

The comeback is short lived as A-1 powerbombs the tar out of Stevens to stop him cold. Everything breaks down and Young superplexes Douglas for two. The Canadians load up a Doomsday Device but Jimmy pays them back for attacking him earlier. Young gets crotched and the Natural Disaster to the steak sauce man gets the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: C+. This was ok but it started dragging a lot at times. The stuff with Shelley was a mess but at the same time that wasn’t his fault, due to Waltman no showing. The Naturals were good and having Hart with them helped more than anything else they could have done for themselves. Decent match here but it ran longer than it needed to. At the end of the day, you can only see these people face each other so many times, which is what happened with the Naturals vs. AMW.

Bound For Glory ad.

Rhyno blasts the WWE and says that he’ll win tonight.

We recap the world title match. Rhyno debuted two months ago by Goring Raven through a table. Last month he got a pin in a tag match over Raven to get this title match. That’s about it and Jarrett is lurking for the winner.

NWA World Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

This is No DQ and Raven is defending. Raven brings in his shopping cart full of weapons as is his custom. The weapons are brought in almost immediately and Rhyno bails. He finds a kendo stick from somewhere but stalls more anyway. Raven’s Rules include falls count anywhere apparently. They both have sticks and it’s time for a duel. I don’t think Thesz and Brisco ever did anything like that other than that one show in Boston back in 63. Rhyno knocks him down and chokes with something we can’t see. Apparently it was a nunchuck.

Raven comes back with a pizza cutter to bust Rhyno open. The fans chant that they want pizza. WELL GO BUY IT YOU FREAKING TIGHTWADS! You didn’t pay for a ticket so go buy yourselves a slice! They head to the floor and Raven rams him into a keg. WHY IS THERE A BEER KEG? Either way Rhyno is busted open and Raven finds a ladder. Rhyno hits him with the keg and Raven hits him with the kendo stick. Some cane shots to the back get two.

Raven puts on an ankle lock but Rhyno makes a rope. He slugs Bird Boy to the floor and pops him in the back with a chair a few times. Back inside and Raven is busted open by a garbage can shot. Rhyno does a Joe Face Wash in the corner but Raven grabs the foot for the ankle lock again. Rhyno shrugs that off and pulls out the staple gun. He staples the head of Raven, right on the cut. They didn’t even do that back in Boston in 63.

Rhyno goes up but misses a splash, hitting a chair instead. They slug it out with Raven taking over via the discus lariat. A knee lift puts Rhyno down in the corner and there’s the bulldog for two. Rhyno fights back and here’s Cassidy Riley (Raven worshipper) to help but his distraction means Raven’s DDT only gets two. Rhyno sets up the ladder against a chair like a ramp and then pounds away in the corner on Raven in front of it. If you don’t know what’s coming here, you’re an idiot. That only gets two and both guys are spent.

Rhyno seesaws the ladder into Raven’s face and the champ is in even more trouble than he was before. That also gets two so Rhyno brings the shopping cart inside. This is starting to look like their Backlash 2001 Hardcore Title match which is a good thing. Raven rams him into the cart and avoids the Gore, sending it into the cart. That’s right out of the 01 match and here’s Jarrett. He loads up a belt shot but Jeff Hardy comes down to take the belt away. Raven DDTs Jarrett and Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B-. Decent brawl here but it was too messy for my tastes. Raven was a good champion but him being off TV makes him mostly forgotten. That’s a shame too because he breathed some fresh air into the main event scene. He would lose the title four days later in Canada at some other NWA event, likely because the NWA thought it was a good idea. Anyway, decent match but nothing great.

We recap the main event. Daniels is champion and Joe won the shot last month over AJ. They threw Styles in there anyway and this is the result. Not much else needs to be said.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.

AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.

Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.

Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.

Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.

The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.

Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.

Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.

Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.

Daniels looking up from his knees and shouting NO is the perfect way to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show is good overall but it’s not a masterpiece. At the end of the day, everything other than the main event is ok but there’s nothing worth seeing aside from that. The main event is an absolute classic for the speed and workrate alone. This is probably the company’s best period ever and it’s a shame that it wasn’t on TV at all. Pretty good show here but the large majority of the worth of it is on the main event. The rest is pretty skippable.

With that, I’ve reviewed every three hour TNA pay per view (this is being written with Slammiversary 2012 being the most recent PPV). I know there are a lot of the two hour shows and I’ve got the first seventeen scheduled already so they’re coming soon. As for TNA, as a whole I think there are more bad/weak PPVs than good ones, but some of them are very good. There are some excellent shows such as Slammiversary 2012, Sacrifice 2007 and Bound For Glory 2011 among others.

In short, TNA is just like most wrestling companies. The PPVs can be hit or miss but it depends on what you have going into them. The problem in the early days of the shows was that they didn’t have a lot of material to fill the cards out with, but that was due to them only having an hour a week for TV. TNA has since fixed a lot of their original issues but like any other company they’ll continue to have ups and downs for years.

The best period is probably 2005-2006 before Angle got there and the company started to evolve into something more like a WWE style company. Whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate, but the company has grown up a lot over the years. At the moment things are on a hot streak but that could change at any given moment. Overall the shows are probably more bad than good, but there are great TNA shows and they’re worth checking out if you can find them in full.

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Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight’s theme is pretty obvious: it’s all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it’s the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let’s get to it.

The opening video basically says it’s all about the Knockouts and that’s it. Oh and it’s produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.

All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They’re here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it’s a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it’s a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.

We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.

Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she’ll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.

Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash

Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it’s on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.

A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ’s Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.

Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: C+. The abrupt ending aside, this was a nice match. As annoying as Gail has become due to always being on Impact, she can go in the ring when she has someone to work with. Flash was solid out there as well which shouldn’t surprise anyone who has seen her indy stuff. Good stuff here but I have a feeling it’s downhill from this point on.

Video on Lei’D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.

We get Ivelisse’s Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she’s not the Barbarian’s niece so she has no future right?

Ivelisse vs. Lei’D Tapa

Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei’D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.

Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse’s back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. It still should have been Ivelisse. I still see absolutely nothing from her that would make me want to watch another one of her matches. She’s nothing special in the ring, she doesn’t talk that well and the fans don’t care. The ONLY thing she has going for her is her size but she’s not dominant like Kong was. She’s just big and that’s not enough to build a career on. I still haven’t heard a reason I agree with to pick Tapa but it’s another reason to criticize them.

We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.

Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.

Tara vs. Mia Yim

Yim is another indy chick that I’ve never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia’s leg to give Tara control.

Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara’s standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow’s Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Mia didn’t look bad here but there’s only so much you can show in six minutes. That’s part of the problem with this show so far: these matches, other than maybe the opener which has gotten more time than the other matches, feel like they belong on Impact. Granted we’re only 45 minutes in and the show hasn’t been terrible or anything yet.

Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.

Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana

Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it’s off to a freaky looking double arm submission.

Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.

Rating: C-. Santana is another chick who looked decent out there and Tessmacher was her usual self. You can take that line to mean whatever you like for it to mean. They probably did the right thing here by keeping things short as Tessmacher isn’t the kind of chick you want in a long match. Just have her look good on camera and get out of there quick.

ODB says she’s tough and doesn’t care who she’s fighting tonight. She’s fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.

Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here’s the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can’t take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It’s a comedy angle that came and went and that’s about it. Egads what a waste of time.

ODB vs. Trinity

Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.

Rating: D. ODB isn’t classy. We get it already. Now do ANYTHING else. Trinity looked great in her attire but was nothing to see in the ring at all. Why I’m supposed to cheer a loud woman who rubs her crotch and can’t function in a wrestling match without alcohol is beyond me, but they’re going to push her forever anyway.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.

Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore

In case you’ve never heard my opinion on Moore, we’ll keep it simple and say I wouldn’t mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I’m sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?

Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn’t all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.

Rating: D. At the beginning of this show, we saw a video of the Taryn vs. Gail match and heard about how great it was. We then got a long video about their entire feud. Instead of having them meet in the main event, WE GET JACKIE FREAKING MOORE BECAUSE SHE’S LOUD AND WRESTLED MEN BEFORE AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE INTERESTING. The match sucked because Jackie Moore exists. Moving on.

Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.

Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom

Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she’s been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.

We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the “friends”. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.

Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a shame that Hendrix is gone as the fans were eating her up with a spoon here. Bolt was fine and could work well in TNA and Hannah looked WAY better than I remember her in OVW. This was one of the better matches tonight but again with just five minutes it didn’t have time to go anywhere. At least we saw the wedding though right?

Another music video on the Knockouts.

Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky

You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.

Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.

Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet’s back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian’s handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Jillian was always all looks/gimmick and nothing in the ring, which can probably be applied to Velvet as well. The match was nothing of note but Taz and Tenay’s idiotic talking brought it down even further. There was nothing going on here but at least we got to look at Velvet for a few minutes.

Video on Mickie James’ career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.

Serena vs. Mickie James

Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie’s heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS???” Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it’s off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.

They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can’t armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it’s James with a bridge which Serena can’t even break by bouncing down onto her.

Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.

We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.

Rating: B-. This was much better than anything else we had seen so far tonight. Deeb clearly knows what she’s doing out there and the long hair makes her look better than she did bald. I liked the idea of her turning in the middle of the match as it gave the match a bit of a story. Good stuff here.

We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.

Gauntlet Match

So apparently it’s the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it’s pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.

Lei’D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it’s an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can’t get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here’s Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei’D but can’t lift her up in a fireman’s carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.

Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it’s never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.

Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie’s face before eliminating her.

Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can’t get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we’re down to four.

Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman’s carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it’s Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it’s a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.

Rating: D. This was every gauntlet match you’ve ever seen: slow for the most part with a few nice moments, but for the most part it’s paint by numbers stuff. The ending was nothing special as the “match” was about a minute long with over half of that being spent on the fake injury. Not much to see here but at least it was longer than anything else.

Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the Knockouts in general and this show in particular: the roster is so thin that we’ve seen almost all of the main matches ad nauseum. At the time this show aired, I believe there are four or five active Knockouts. Other than Taryn (who lost to the great and mighty Jackie Moore), almost no one new has been added to the division in over a year. There’s just nothing in the division and the final group of people here were the same girls we’ve seen forever. TNA desperately needs to bring in some fresh blood and the Blossoms, Serena, Flash or Ivelisse would be great places to start.

The show was nothing great with most of the matches just not having the time they needed to go anywhere. Also, there was WAY too much filler. I get the idea of a video here or there, but airing the ENTIRE fifteen minute wedding segment plus a bunch of other videos on a two hour and forty minute show is ridiculous. Again, I’m sure you could find one other girl to bring in and make the triple threat a singles match and pad out the show much better. There’s just nothing to see here and the show felt like it was just trying to fill in time until it was over.

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Hard Justice 2009
Date: August 16, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We continue our backwards trip through TNA as I keep trying to get closer and closer to being done with their PPVs. This is one of three remaining 2009 shows I have so it’s as good a place as any. Anyway the Mafia is still around and the main event (haha) is Angle vs. Sting vs. Morgan for the title. There really isn’t much else as the card is rather lackluster. Then again this isn’t one of TNA’s biggest PPVs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Morgan for the most part, and how he’s perfect or something. His DNA was sent into space which is rather cool. They don’t talk about anything else here so you can tell it’s a weak card.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Daniels vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequence Creed vs. Suicide vs. D’Angelo Dinero

The Guns don’t have their signature music yet. This is the steel asylum, as in the big red cage, and you win by escape. Naturally there are WAY too many people in it so you won’t be able to call a thing in it. Winner gets an X Title shot at No Surrender. This is Pope’s debut. There’s a big hole at the top and you have to climb up to escape, which is hard because the roof curves up.

The fans are behind Pope it seems. Suicide makes a run at it but Creed pulls him down. The Guns beat up Daniels because that’s what they do. The camera has to keep cutting away from the match and various spots because they have to go to other spots. Lethal Consequences takes Red down and the Guns get a dropkick Conchairto to the head of Pope. This is really a collection of spots and not a match.

Daniels takes Lethal off the top and tries a climb, only to be stopped by Dinero. And never mind as Daniels punches the cage and probably breaks his hand. We’re at the point now where most people lay around and wait on two people to do something before getting in there again. The Guns and Lethal Consequences have a mini match with the Guns getting the better of it.

Daniels and Pope keep slugging it out on the top and there’s your Tower of Doom spot. We get a complex four person submission hold with the tag teams again. Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 on Daniels and here comes Red. He takes down just about everyone that was still on their feet/knees and goes up, only for Shelley to make the stop in the corner.

Seven people are standing in one corner or are on the rope in that corner. The eighth comes up because he’s (Sabin) very stupid. Gee, with everyone in one corner, I’m sure there’s nothing he could do in the other five corners right? Everyone gets taken down as Daniels and Red go up. Daniels hooks in a leg and is kind of hanging around. Suicide almost makes it but Pope stops him, only to be stuck in the corner. Daniels finally wakes up and climbs out to win it.

Rating: C+. Really hard to call here as the whole thing was a mess. There’s no flow to it but to be fair it’s supposed to be a big mess I think. You cut this down to four people and you have a FAR better match. That being said at 16 minutes it’s still way too long, but at the same time they were trying and hit the limit with what this match can do under these circumstances I think.

Daniels says the X-Division is awesome. He’ll get the X Title back and AJ needs to come back also.

We run down the card for the ADHD fans out there.

Morgan says he’s in the main event to win, not help Kurt.

We recap the WAY too long Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss feud. Stevie put out a $50,000 bounty on Abyss and it’s about maiming him. The maimer in this case: Jethro Holiday, more commonly known as Trevor Murdoch. Yes, really.

Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday

THIS warranted PPV times. Yes, really. Oh and it’s no DQ/weapons are legal/whatever. Holiday, ever the generic southern/country boy, chops away and gets absolutely nowhere. Abyss claps away like an idiot as we head to the floor. For the second time tonight someone punches something made of metal and Holiday takes over again. Middle rope elbow misses back in as this is already boring.

Abyss finally brings in a chair as Stevie slides in a metal stick or something to Holiday. It’s a baton I think. Abyss fights back with his big man offense like a big boot and backdrop. Let’s clap some more because that’s HARDCORE BABY! Side slam gets two. Holiday gets a chair to Abyss’ balls and a baton shot to the head gets two. More brawling ensues and a chokeslam gets two for Abyss. Holiday gets the Texas standard move in the form of a bulldog for two. Black Hole Slam ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible, but it’s Trevor Murdoch vs. Abyss on PPV. Why in the world did they think this was deserving of about 11 minutes total? Boring match for the most part and just kind of there, which is fine if it’s ok but it’s not in this case. Holiday would do nothing for the most part and would be gone in a few months.

Holiday takes down Stevie post match, I guess turning face.

Angle says he’ll keep the title. He might weigh 180lbs here.

Rob Terry vs. Hernandez

Terry stole Hernandez’s briefcase and Supermex wants it back. Hernandez says the Impact Zone is his house and it’s like Terry stole the case from his family. This is going to be a fight, not a match. The other Brits try to interfere, Hernandez runs them off, bell, shoulderblock, pin. Literally, 9 seconds of the actual match.

Beer Money says they’ll win the Japanese tag titles, because we NEED Japanese tag titles right?

World Elite is awesome apparently and Beer Money is standing in the way of their dominance despite them not really dominating anyone.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion

It’s more Japanese tag titles because they’re Japanese so every non-WWE fan loves them right? The Brits have the belts here. Young jumps in on commentary here. The Brits are Magnus and Williams here. Storm and Magnus start us off as the fans chant wanker. Storm makes both Brits look like idiots to start and Roode launches Storm over the top to the floor onto both Brits.

Williams comes in and takes over on Roode, including the always awesome jumping back elbow. Everything breaks down again with Beer Money in control again. This is one of those rather boring matches where not a lot is going on here. We get one of the stupid face in crotch spots from the Brits. The champions take over with some basic leg work on Storm as this is rather boring.

The fans chant for the Cowboy so at least they have the right football team. See how far I have to go for jokes here? Do you see what I do for you people here? Williams drops a knee and Magnus gets two off of it. Weak tag to Roode who hits the Blockbuster for two. There’s the time waster by the challengers and a double team Rock Bottom gets two on Magnus. Young comes in for a distraction and Williams rolls up Roode for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match itself wasn’t really that awful but it was incredibly boring. Not an interesting match in the slightest and that’s saying a lot when it comes to a team as talented as Beer Money. This went nowhere for the most part and the whole thing was just a boring waste of time. Not bad, but the lack of anything interesting killed it deader than Immortal’s current credibility.

Deaner and ODB aren’t funny.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

We waste more time as Velvet and Angelina leave Madison in the ring.

Taz talks for Joe, saying that Hernandez didn’t beat Joe because Joe beat Joe. Joe is going to win the X Title tonight and take it to the Mafia.

X–Division Title: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has his face tattoo still here. The fans chant 187. Joe takes him down with strikes quickly but Homicide uses his technical abilities to take him to the floor. Homicide is considered a ring master but I’ve never really seen it. He’s not bad but I don’t see the genius aspect to him. After a pep talk from Joe it’s time to go back to work for Joe. This is a rather fast paced match which doesn’t really surprise me.

Rana is blocked to send Homicide to the floor and a suicide dive sends him flying. Back in and Joe drops a knee so he can crank on the neck a bit. Powerslam gets two. Homicide tries to fight back but Joe is just too fat. Powerbomb is turned into an STF and into a crossface and into the Rings of Saturn, all by Joe. Homicide finally gets his foot on the ropes to break it up but that was kind of impressive. I think. Actually it wasn’t but it fits the submission aspect of Joe’s character.

Joe hammers away as the fans chant 187 again. I know Impact Zone fans are considered a little slow but they can’t even count to ten properly? Homicide comes back with some clotheslines and gets Joe down. Top rope dropkick sends Joe to the floor and there’s a tope con hilo to take Joe down even more.

Homicide and Taz nearly get into it but that goes nowhere. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring for the champion. Diamond Cutter gets two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) is blocked and Joe can’t quite get the Clutch. Ok so never mind yes he can and Homicide taps almost immediately. Some guy from the toughest place in the world.

Rating: B-. Pretty good here as both guys worked rather well out there. They probably fought a few dozen times in the indies so it’s pretty clear they know each other as well as possible. Better Homicide match than I remember him having more often than not so that’s a nice surprise. Not bad here at all.

Kurt goes to talk to Matt Morgan and doesn’t even knock. Angle tries to make a deal and Morgan agrees that it’s either him or Angle leaving with the title tonight.

We recap the Mafia vs. Team 3D. The Mafia more or less stole the titles from Beer Money. Team 3D complained about getting screwed out of everything (Bubba: “If I knew getting screwed felt this bad, I would have stayed a virgin.”) and therefore wanted a match. Don’t ask me how all of the tag titles worked at this time. With the Japanese belts out there it’s more confusing than an Egyptian restaurant menu.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Team 3D

Falls count anywhere here and they have two referees which is rather smart for once. Sharmell looks good here. Apparently it’s No DQ also, therefore making it a hardcore match. In a Russo company? I’M SHOCKED!!! Big staredown to start and the brawl begins. The fans want tables within ten seconds. Booker gets double teamed and the Mafia complains a lot.

Booker and Steiner yell at Hebner, the outside referee, and it’s time to head into the crowd. We go split screen and it’s one of those annoying ones that has about 30% of the screen devoted to the match and the rest is a big freaking TNA logo. I’ve never gotten why they do that. Is that for people that have bought all the PPV offerings for that night and flip through the channels to decide what to watch?

The races pair off and it’s a big brawl as you would expect from these guys. There’s the required ECW chant. To be fair though, three of these guys were in the original ECW so it’s hard to complain. Steiner gets two on Bubba off of I think a weapon shot. They’ve more or less dropped the split screen at this point, making it kind of hard to follow. I do however really like the falls count anywhere aspect as it means you don’t have to wait for them to get back to the ring for any drama.

Steiner dives off a balcony in the crowd onto Ray for two. Gee it was nice of Ray to stand there for a good ten seconds to wait on him to come crashing down on him like that. Ray and Steiner are at ringside now as are D-Von and Booker. I guess they can’t bare to be apart that long. Steiner gets two on Ray. The pairings haven’t switched for the entire match that I can remember.

The white guys get in the ring and a Steiner Line gets two. The fans still want tables. What’s Up to Steiner which probably doesn’t hurt that much due to the amount of steroids in him. It’s table time now and the fans are in a word really freaking happy with that decision. Steiner gets laid on one but here’s Booker for the save. The Mafia stands around FOREVER while D-Von is sitting on the ropes after being crotched.

The delay allows the Dudleys to set up the Doomsday Device through the table but Booker saves again, moving the table but the move hits like regular. Team 3D in control still here but it’s a Book End for Bubba through the table for two as he actually kicks out instead of having it saved. The Mafia in control now as things kind of grind to a halt. Scratch that as the Dudleys take over again. Back and forth match throughout so far.

Heel miscommunication lets D-Von get a belly to back on Steiner for two. Powerbomb out of the corner gets the same result with the same people. Axe kick misses D-Von and the 3D from 3D gets the pin on Booker, but at the same time Steiner rolls up Bubba and yep it’s a double pin. I was afraid of this. The threes went down at just about the same time which is rather helpful. We actually go to the video and the replay we see shows that those threes hit at the exact same time. The Mafia retain the belts and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. WEAK finish as the video shows it was identical or at least way too close to call.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the ending really hurts it a lot. The fans chant BS during the highlight package which is very true. I mean dude, when EVER do they go to a replay to decide something in wrestling? Not a great brawl or anything but they did a lot of stuff right here. The ending crippled it though and there were a lot of dead spots in there that really hurt it.

Foley isn’t sure if he is ready for Nash or not. He did however get an extra $623 posing for pictures. Not really apparently but that’s the point of the feud. Nash wants the title because it brings him more money. Foley wants the title because wrestlers want to hold titles. I remember really wanting to see this match as the pairing is pretty interesting. Foley puts JB in charge of finding a barbed wire bat.

Recap of Nash vs. Foley which is what I just went over.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley

Foley is champion and the Legends Title would evolve into the TV Title. I can’t believe it but the video package actually made me want to watch this again. Oh and Foley won the title from Nash in a tag match. Never been a fan of those but at least Foley pinned Nash for it. Foley waves at Nash just after the bell which is funny for some reason. Nash’s right hand is taped heavier than usual.

Surprisingly technical stuff to start as they lock up a few times. Naturally it turns into more of a brawl but that’s what these two likely should do. Foley hits a running knee lift but a double arm DDT can’t hit. There’s your first hard bump of the match as Foley gets kicked into the guardrail. They brawl outside and Nash takes over. The fans chant “over here” which is kind of a cool chant to me for some odd reason.

Chair shot by Nash hits post but Foley’s hits Big Sexy’s back. Foley tries the elbow off the apron but Nash gets the chair in to block it. Foley’s eye is busted now. Oh man that’s a bad one too. Nash drops some F Bombs and wisely fires jabs in at the eye. There’s blood on the camera which is kind of a cool visual. That’s a sick blood flow and in a very dangerous area too.

Half of Foley’s face is bloody and half isn’t. That’s a creepy/awesome look indeed. Foley says bring it on and actually fires back. A forearm puts Nash down and we get the Mankind rocking back and forth. Foley pulls his hair out as he’s all fired up now. That blood is flowing everywhere. BANG BANG as you can’t even see his eye anymore.

Nash’s forehead is busted a bit now too. Make that a lot now. That’s a GREAT looking cut. Ref is bumped and it’s barbed wire bat time. Tracy Brooks of all people comes out and the distraction is enough for Nash to hit a big boot and something we can’t see that wasn’t the powerbomb for the title.

Rating: C+. I liked it. This was a surprisingly good match here as these two actually had some chemistry. Fun match as their characters and philosophies were perfect opposites and the story made the match for the most part. The ending is fine for the most part and while it was kind of boring from an in ring match, it was still good I though. At least I liked it. Good thing I’m writing this too.

Post match Foley takes the bat to the head and Abyss comes out for the save with a bat of his own.

Sting isn’t worried about Kurt and Matt working together. He’ll never lose hope in the war against the Mafia. Does Sting do anything but go to war with heel factions?

We recap the triple threat. Morgan wanted in the Mafia so they used him as a lackey and then screwed him over. Morgan won a trilogy of matches with AJ to get the spot here. Angle implied that Morgan should help him keep the title and Morgan said no way.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some decent stuff here and there but overall this just fell flat. It was ALL about the Mafia here and that’s not exactly the most enthralling formula for a PPV. This was certainly a B level PPV and it came off as one: nothing significant seems to have happened, despite both midcard titles changing hands. Nothing to see here as nothing was a particularly great match or even very good. Pretty weak show but not horrid or anything.

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