Genesis 2012
Date: January 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Today is the genesis of the beginning of the genesis of the….oh wait wrong company. It’s the first TNA PPV of the year and we have Hardy vs. Roode in the main event. The card has been fairly well built up on paper and I’m somewhat interested in what happens tonight. Also we have Angle vs. Storm II (officially III but I don’t count the first one) so I’d picture Storm to lose to set up an eventual third match at Lockdown, although they might do a draw at Against All Odds to bridge the gap. Let’s get to it.

We open with Robert Roode arriving. Jeff got here about two hours earlier.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen

I didn’t know this but it’s elimination rules. The fans seem to like Jesse the most. Aries chills on the floor to start and Sorensen cleans house. A northern lights gets two on Ion and Aries comes in. This is one of those matches where there’s no point in trying to keep track of everything that’s going on. Kash and Aries are sent to the floor and after Ion is put up top it’s the Tower of Doom! That hasn’t been used in awhile.

Aries goes up top but Ion shoves him down to the floor onto Kash. Ion hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor to take the two of them out. Sorensen of course follows in the customary series of dives. Still gets a great reaction from the crowd too. Jesse gets two on Aries back inside. Ion gets sent into the corner so Kash tries a superplex, but Aries is whipped into the corner to send Kash crashing. Ion stands up and hits the 450 on Kash to put him out first.

Aries busts out the 450 on Sorensen for just two. The fans are WAY behind Jesse here. Top rope cross body gets two on Aries. A suplex into a cutter kind of move gets the same as Ion breaks up the pin because he’s an idiot. Ion goes after Jesse but walks into a small package for the second elimination to get us down to one on one. Aries rolls up Sorensen but Ion has the referee.

Brainbuster is countered into the Game Changer (Test Drive into a DDT) but Ion’s distraction keeps it at just two. Aries breaks up something off the top but runs into a boot in the corner. Ion is ducked out of sight on the floor. Sorensen goes up but Ion crotches him, letting Aries dropkick him and a middle rope brainbuster keeps the title on Aries 10:59.

Rating: C+. I was really liking this until the ending. Sorensen has been built up for awhile now and the fans are clearly behind him, but they need to pull the trigger on him if they’re going to. Restocking the division is a good idea, but if all the guys keep losing it’s not really going to do them any good. The match was fun though and a high flying match to open the show is a tried and true idea.

D-Von’s kids are in the back and they already get on my nerves. They’re dressed like Pope and are both sixteen. Why we’re wasting a decent story like this on Elijah Burke and D-Von Dudley is beyond me. Pope says he’ll get rid of D-Von tonight.

Recap of D-Von vs. Pope. Basically it’s been six months of D-Von yelling at his kids while they like Pope until they finally turned on their dad.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. D-Von

D-Von starts fast and sends Pope to the floor with a lot of punches. There isn’t much to say here as it’s just D-Von hammering away on him. The fans are split here, thereby again proving that either A, faces and heels mean nothing in TNA or B, the Impact Zone needs to shut up. D-Von finally gets caught by a shot and Pope takes over.

Pope beats him to the floor and hits a jumping axe handle to the floor. Off to a chinlock as the dueling chants continue. We get a Ronnie Garvin reference to make me roll my eyes. Pope was using a Garvin Stomp, so Taz says those are rugged kicks. Naturally has has to say “get it” to Tenay to get rid of the humor to it but that’s Taz for you.

With D-Von down, his kids come in. Pope says get him and they’re apprehensive about it. Dinero shoves them and then throws one of them to the floor. He hits the other one and D-Von snaps. The kids never touched him so it’s not a DQ. D-Von hits some power stuff as the fans want a table. Pope gets out of a fireman’s carry and hits an uppercut. A flying shoulder gets two for the former Dudley. Corner splash misses and a neckbreaker gets no cover for Pope. The boys are back up and the DDE misses. D-Von hits the inverted reverse DDT for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. WHOA WHOA WHOA. What in the world was the point in turning D-Von’s kids then??? TO TURN THEM BACK THE NEXT TIME WE SAW THEM??? Also, D-Von Dudley just got a win in the blowoff to a feud on PPV in 2012??? For the life of me I do not know what this company is thinking at times. Pope isn’t anything anymore but he’s worth more than D-Von….isn’t he? Also what are they going to do with D-Von? Give him the TV Title? In 2012??? I mean, Ray is doing well on his own but do they really think it’ll work twice? Stranger things have happened though…..at least I think they have.

D-Von reunites with his kids post match. So we just wasted 6 months for that payoff? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Sting is in the back for an interview and Velvet wants to talk to him. She wants the Knockouts VP job. Velvet goes on a big rant, talking about how Madison made herself the boss and it shouldn’t count. Velvet has a plan to keep Madison occupied during the title match and whispers it in Sting’s ear. He likes it but there’s not enough time according to Sting. She asked the crew about it earlier and it’s called the Velvet Touch. No idea what it is but Sting says go with it. She leaves and Sting talks about the main event. Hardy earned his title shot tonight and got here one step at a time. Sting says he’s in charge, not Roode.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

Rematch from Impact after the weak ending. They actually go to the mat to start as Gunner is getting frustrated. Rollup gets two for RVD. Crucifix gets one and it’s a standoff. Gunner takes over with strikes and we head to the floor. Van Dam gets in a kick to take over and sends Gunner back in, but has to chase Flair off. He gets crotched on top but throws Gunner down on the way back in.

Top rope cross body gets two. Top rope kick sets up Rolling Thunder for two. Gunner rolls to the floor so RVD dives, only to have Flair pull Gunner out of the way. With Flair distracting the referee, Gunner DDTs him on the floor to basically kill him. He’s out cold and that’s enough for the pin at 6:52. Man that match went by fast.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but too short to mean anything. I’ve heard Van Dam’s contract is up in March so maybe this is a way to write him off TV for a few months in case he doesn’t re-sign? If so it’s a good thing for him to be jobbing on his way out. Still though, match wasn’t much and Gunner is still just kind of there.

RVD goes out on a stretcher post match. He keeps trying to get the neck brace off.

Hardy is in the back and says he doesn’t brag about what he did. He’s modest and another him is what there will never be. Creatures, mount up because they have a world title to win.

We recap the Knockout Title match. Gail returned and sided with the forces of evil, allegedly taking the division back ten years.

Velvet’s Touch is a small cage at ringside.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

And now the box with Madison in it is going to the ceiling. The bars are painted pink and white. The match starts as the cage is being raised, letting Gail get in a shot to take over. Mickie speeds things up to take over, hitting a low dropkick for two. Gail gets in a shot and the fans are split, although leaning towards Mickie. She avoids a slide by Mickie and hooks a Dragon Sleeper which is pretty easily countered.

Mickie starts a comeback and speeds things up. There’s the nip up but she gets caught in an Octopus Hold (kind of) which she countered with something like a Samoan Drop. Jumping DDT is blocked but Gail is knocked outside. Out to the floor and Mickie hits a hurricanrana. Back in and the flying crotch to the face gets two. Madison throws an object to Gail which is intercepted. Another object (brass knucks I think) are sent down but caught by Mickie. She decks Gail and it’s a DQ at 6:21. The fans chant BS for some reason, despite it being pretty clear what happened.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but I’m really getting sick of these DQ finishes lately. I do like the 80s gimmick with the hanging cage though. It’s amazing how effective these simple things can be if done on occasion. In short: mix things up and you might get a better reaction. They’re setting up Hardy big to win tonight with these heels going over in important matches though.

Ray says he used to be nervous about the Monster’s Ball but he realized he’s the king of these matches, so tonight Abyss rejoins Immortal. Thankfully Ray lists off the members of Immortal because I had no idea who was still in it. Gunner is apparently. Who knew?

We recap Abyss vs. Ray. Basically Immortal can’t stop him so for some reason he’s agreed to this match where if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin Immortal.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Crimson and Morgan say they’re awesome and that they’ll win.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.

Magnus comes back in and we go split screen as Ray is beating up Abyss. And now we’re back full screen as Joe has a chinlock on Crimson. We get a dueling “We Want Morgan/No We Don’t” chants. Crimson spears Joe down and we’re told that Bully Ray is trending worldwide on Twitter. Off to Morgan who hits the Hellevator (not called that) to Magnus but Joe breaks up the pin.

In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t click for me at all. The messed up save really took me out of the match. Joe just isn’t going to get pushed no matter how much he gets cheered and how much his opponents get booed or get no reaction, because it’s just been decided that he’s not going to get pushed. Listen to the fans TNA. It just might work.

Storm says he’s ready for Angle. He doesn’t want to be interviewed though so he changes places, putting the hat and glasses on JB and asks about JB’s match with Angle tonight. This translates into you gotta believe…..somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Storm. Basically Angle says Storm is a barfighter and not a wrestler.

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

Angle stalls to open us up. Storm grabs a headlock and goes for the Last Call about a minute in. Kurt heads to the floor again for a few seconds. Back in, James hits a facebuster and neckbreaker for two. Another Last Call attempt sends Kurt to the floor. Storm hits a slingshot dive to the floor to keep control. Back in the ring Kurt finally gets Storm to the mat and you know he’ll control there. Off to a chinlock.

Taz says Kurt has the best cardio ever. I think there’s an old manager on this roster that might take exception to that. Storm comes back with a Russian legsweep and a Backstabber for two. How can we be ten minutes into this already? The chinlock must have lasted longer than I thought. Angle hits Rolling Germans as Taz actually explains what makes suplexes work.

The moonsault mostly hits for two. Storm pops up with a DDT for two. They’re doing a fairly slow build here and that’s just fine. Angle Slam hits for two. The fans don’t even react to the kickout anymore. Angle tries a superkick but Storm avoids it into a cutter for two. Top rope elbow gets the same for the same person. And then Kurt pulls the referee out of position, hits a low blow and a superkick for the pin at 13:45.

Rating: B-. Really weak ending there as they seemed to be building to something huge and then you looked away for like a second and it’s over. I’d assume this sets up a rubber match which is fine. The kick looked more like a Mafia kick/MVP Drive By than the superkick but whatever. Really didn’t like the ending though.

Ray is in the back and doesn’t know where Abyss is. It’s implied he’s hiding something.

We recap Hardy vs. Roode. Basically it’s Roode is champion and selfish while it’s Hardy’s chance to come back to glory.

Roode says this is disgusting because Hardy has no business here.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Roode grabs the arm to start but Hardy takes him down with an armdrag. Headscissors out of the corner by Hardy sets up a little sequence of offense, capped off by a low dropkick for two. Out to the floor and Hardy hits Poetry in Motion using the steps. Tenay calls it a dropkick for some reason. Back in Hardy goes up but gets crotched to shift momentum.

Roode throws him into the corner chest first for two. Suplex sets up a middle rope kneedrop for two. Off to the chinlock by Roode and they go to the floor again. Back in, Roode hooks the Crossface and the fans don’t really react at all. Roode goes up but misses whatever he was trying to put both guys down. Hardy starts his comeback and hits a Russian legsweep and that splitlegged cover he does.

Jawbreaker doesn’t do much to Roode as he snaps off a spinebuster for two. Roode tries a superplex but Hardy knocks him off. The champ avoids the Swanton and heads to the floor again. Roode gets the belt and goes to leave but Hardy brings him back. Roode grabs a quick fisherman’s suplex for two. Twisting Stunner puts Roode onto his knees but the Whisper in the Wind gets two. There’s another attempt at the Twist and Roode bails again.

Hardy follows him up the ramp and throws him back. Roode has the belt but it gets knocked out of his hands. Hardy tries another Twist but the referee breaks it up so that it’s not onto the belt. Roode tries a rollup with feet on the ropes but it only gets two. The champ begs off…and then kicks the referee low for the REALLY FREAKING LAME DQ. Jeff hits a Twist but the bell rings before a cover. I forgot to check the clock but it was about 20:00.

Rating: C. The match was good but MAN that ending killed it. The crowd didn’t care until the end when the belt came in because they knew nothing was going to happen until the end. That being said, the ending was AWFUL. So where was Sting, the guy that is going to be watching over Roode or whatever and the guy that has Hardy’s back? Was he out front chipping golf balls?

The fans IMMEDIATELY chant that they want Sting. Hardy hits a Swanton and holds up the belt…and that’s it. No seriously, that’s the end of the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I wanted to like this show. I really did. The card looked pretty good and it had been built decently. And then this happened. What was the point of this show? The biggest thing that happened was that D-Von’s kids turned face after turning heel what, two weeks ago? Two title matches end with DQs, one ends with interference, and one is a wildcard team getting a title shot. The hardcore match was the best of the show and even then it means nothing, because while Abyss wins he’s disappeared or something I guess. Just an eye rolling show here from TNA as they give the fans nothing at all to go on.

Results
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen, Kid Kash and Zema Ion – Aries last eliminated Sorensen to win
D-Von b. D’Angelo Dinero – Reverse Inverted DDT
Gunner b. Rob Van Dam – DDT on the floor
Gail Kim b. Mickie James via disqualification when Mickie hit Gail with brass knuckles
Abyss b. Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Magnus/Samoa Joe – Double Chokeslam to Magnus
Kurt Angle b. James Storm – Superkick
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode via disqualification when Roode kicked the referee

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Final Resolution 2011
Date: December 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the final PPV of the year for TNA and the card has been built up pretty well on TV. In essence there’s a double main event with the Battle of the Jeffs and the Iron Man match for the title. There are a few matches that haven’t been built up at all but that’s bound to happen to a degree. The card looks pretty good though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is just what you would expect: a highlight package of the two main event feuds.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels

This is supposed to be “just a wrestling match” according to Daniels. They take turns with a headlock for awhile to fulfill the idea that it’s going to be all clean and nice. Rob kicks away and does his rolling leg cradle for two. They fight to the apron and Van Dam is sent intot he post chest first. This is one of those matches where time is passing but there isn’t much to talk about.

Since Van Dam’s ribs hit the post first, Daniels puts on a reverse waistlock. Van Dam makes his comeback and hits the standing moonsault for two. This is a really uninteresting match. Rolling Thunder gets two. He goes up but Daniels rolls out of the way and spears him down for two. Great, ANOTHER person using that move. A palm thrust gets two for Daniels. They go up top and Van Dam casually knocks him off and hits the Five Star for the pin at 11:40 (my stream is jumpy so the times are about as accurate as I can guess.)

Rating: C. This was really boring for the most part. There was no real heat to the match and they didn’t do anything significantly interesting. I’ve never been a fan of Daniels at all because he doesn’t get anything going for me at all with this being a great example. Still though, it’s him against someone not named AJ Styles so I can’t complain much.

The announcers run down the card.

Mickie says tonight it’s about wrestling, not politics in her match with Gail Kim. They’ll take it to the wall tonight.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Eric disrobes because it’s funny I guess. A Thesz Press puts Robbie down and we go to the floor. Young hits a nice dive but has to avoid a Big Rob shot, allowing the champ to take him down with a clothesline. Robbie takes over with his pretty dull stuff and hits a middle rope elbow after some fist pumping for two.

He hooks a chinlock to waste some time. Young makes his comeback but misses coming off the top. Eric puts him down again but Big Rob chokes him out for a few seconds. Robbie is sent into Big Rob’s crotch and Young tries a DVD on both of them. And never mind as a Codebreaker keeps the title on Robbie at 7:30.

Rating: D. Ho-freaking-hum. Horribly uninteresting match again here with nothing going on at all in it. To be fair though, this is one of those matches that suffered from the automatic rematch issue: since we’ve already seen a winner and a loser here, there’s no real interest in seeing them fight again. That being said, we’ll probably get this again because of Big Rob getting involved again. Nothing to see here and the first half hour of this show has been pretty awful.

Pope and D-Von say they’ll win. There’s no trouble at home says D-Von. Pope says it’s not his fault D-Von is a bad father and tonight it’s about the gold.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Crimson vs. Pope gets us going here with Crimson using his cravate with the knees to take over. Morgan comes in and he wants D-Von. That isn’t the best idea in the world as D-Von takes over with his usual stuff. Back to Red Man vs. Pope with the street preacher who never preaches taking over. STO gets two but he gets speared down quickly. An exploder suplex gets the same.

Morgan hits the fallaway slam for two as well as a side slam. Pope finally gets in a DDT to put both guys down and brings in D-Von off the not-hot tag. A neckbreaker and headbutt off the top get two on Crimson. Everything breaks down and there’s a spinebuster to Crimson. Top rope elbow from Pope gets two. A double chokeslam from the champions keep the titles on them at 9:33.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There’s no heat on any of these matches because their build has been horrible or non-existent. This D-Von vs. Pope stuff has been going on since June and it’s still not getting anywhere. That’s one of TNA’s problems: they take forever to get anywhere which is what’s going on with this. That and no one cares about D-Von in 2011 but that goes without saying.

AJ says his knee is fine and he’s ready to go tonight.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash

If Kash wins….I’ll probably just complain more than usual. Feeling out process so far with Aries showing off as only he can. Kash takes over and things get a little sloppy. He slaps Aries around a bit because he’s just not a nice person. Is Aries a face now? I don’t think he is but I’m not really sure. Is Kash one? I’m so confused by this company. Kash rolls Aries up and it looks awful. Back to the champ’s control but a jumping fist drop misses.

Out to the floor and Aries rolls him up, this time using two feet on the top rope to out do the one foot that Kash used earlier. Ok that was cute. Back to the floor again and Kash puts Aries down to take over again. Aries takes over right back and hits the best suicide dive in wrestling. Most people just slap the other guy’s chest anymore which isn’t that impressive. A gutbuster gets two for the champion.

There’s the Pendulum Elbow for two. Kash counters the brainbuster and knocks Aries down, then hits him again as he’s falling. Kash sets for what looks like a belly to back but slams him forward instead. The replay makes it look a lot more vicious. Moneymaker is broken up and Aries goes up, only to get crotched. Kash goes up for the same result but he manages to try a top rope powerbomb. Aries counters into Splash Mountain (not exactly Mysterio level but not bad).

They chop it out and Kash sets for the Moneymaker again. Aries counters with a basic stomp on the foot and then a backdrop. This has been better than I was expecting. Into the corner and Austin runs into a boot but the Moneymaker is countered again. Aries pulls out a foreign object which is taken away quickly. Now Kash has one too but it gets stolen. Aries hands him the title which gets taken away, allowing the brainbuster to keep the belt on the champ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. They started off badly but once they got down to doing basic stuff it got a lot better. Splash Mountain is one of those very cool moves and it worked very well here as it hasn’t been done in forever. The ending was creative too and it worked all around. Good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

They try to go to a video recap but it’s not there so let’s try that again. Ah ther eit is. Mickie is great, Gail is great, so let’s have a match about it. Karen keeps trying to hold Mickie back but it doesn’t really work.

The production mistakes continue as the video package plays again.

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Mickie James

Why does no one ever wear the Knockouts Title? I mean you NEVER see it around someone’s waist. They fight over a wristlock to start and then Mickie wins a brief slugout. Gail avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get a rollup out of said corner. Mickie’s victory roll is countered by having her face slammed into the mat. That looked great. Gail takes over and works on the back but her second backbreaker is countered into a nice headscissors by James.

Gail works her over some more but Mickie sends her to the floor where Gail’s leg hits the steps. That can’t feel good. Thesz Press off the top gets two but Mickie couldn’t cover properly because Mickie was still in a split. Jumping DDT is countered so Mickie settles for a dragon screw instead. Gail goes to the floor and tries to walk but she gets sent “into the post” instead. Her head pretty clearly didn’t hit but nice effort anyway. And then Madison comes out to hook Mickie’s foot so Eat Defeat can end this at 7:48.

Rating: C+. REALLY don’t like that ending as it just comes flying out of nowhere and it really didn’t work given how much they had been having the competitive match before that. Good girls match though which was a lot better than most of them have been lately. My goodness the Knockouts blow the Divas so far out of the water it’s not even funny anymore.

Storm says there’s always someone bigger and tougher than you are to knock you down. That’s his message to Angle, because tonight he’s getting his second win in a row over Kurt.

We recap Storm vs. Angle, which is about Angle jumping Storm in the back and injuring him. It’s so nice to see a feud that makes sense and follows the story.

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are all behind Storm. He’s gotten the push of a lifetime out of this. Storm tries to take it to the mat and that goes about as well as you could expect it to. They exchange some quick arm work and Storm grabs a headlock to take over. For someone that said he wasn’t coming here to wrestle Angle, he certainly looks like he’s wrestling Angle. Kurt hammers away in the corner to take over, which plays into the whole concussion story/real injury.

Out to the floor and Storm gets rammed into the barricade which might have hit his head again. Off to a chinlock but then Kurt just pounds away at the head. That always makes me a bit shaky, especially when Storm had a legit head injury recently. A suplex puts Storm down again and Storm looks out of it. Back to the chinlock and Storm’s head injury is being played up here.

He finally suplexes out of the hold though and both guys are down. Storm wins a slugout and hits the Codebreaker/Backstabber combo for two. Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly for two. Storm avoids the rolling Germans and it’s ankle lock time. I really can’t stand that as it comes out of nowhere and goes completely against the whole psychology of almost all of Kurt’s matches.

It doesn’t last long but James gets caught in the Rolling Germans this time. They’re slower than usual though. Just three in this set for a count of two. Angle Slam is countered into the Eye of the Storm for two. Storm goes up but gets caught in the (second attempt of) running belly to belly for two. The crowd isn’t as into this as they should be since it’s been pretty good.

Angle Slam is countered as is the Last Call, the latter into the ankle lock. Storm kicks out of that and Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post. Instead of pulling Kurt out, Storm channels his inner Apex Legend Killing Viper with an elevated DDT onto the apron. Somehow that only gets two back in the ring but Kurt snaps off an Angle Slam for two. Moonsault misses and the Last Call ends this clean at 17:54. Can’t say they didn’t put him over.

Rating: B. Solid match but for some reason the crowd wasn’t all that into it. The ending being clean is a very nice change of pace and it worked pretty well indeed. Now, if Storm wins the feud in the end, everything is right in Orlando. That’s kind of the key: Angle needs to put Storm over clean at the end of the day, and I’m not 100% certain that’s going to happen. Very good match though.

The Jarretts are nervous. Jeff is ticked because he’s been on the cruise for three days and now he hears about the stipulation Sting added despite being a company man. Sting pops up with the handcuffs.

We recap the battle of the Jeffs. Hardy came back and Jarrett complained because Hardy wasn’t a company man and dropped the ball and all that jazz. Jarrett lost to Hardy three times at Turning Point to set this up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

This is in a cage. Sting will be handcuffed to Karen on the floor. If Hardy wins, he gets the title match at Genesis and a Jarrett is fired. If Jarrett wins, Hardy is gone from TNA. I didn’t hear the opening bell so the time is going to be a little off. You can win by any means. Hardy takes over early and hits the basement dropkick for two. They keep stopping for some reason. Hardy goes for the escape but that gets him nowhere.

Jarrett goes into the cage a few times as Hardy is definitely in slow gear here. Twist of Fate is countered into the Figure Four just a few minutes into the match. It’s very frustrating to not be able to say Jeff in this. Hardy gets rammed hard into the cage and Jarrett goes for the climb but Hardy makes the save. Jarrett goes into the cage and Hardy hits something like a Lionsault for two. There wasn’t a running start but the camera angle wasn’t clear as to what he did.

They slug it out, won by Hardy. Twist of Fate hits but Jarrett is too far away for the Swanton. A second Twist sets up the top of the cage Swanton….which completely misses as Hardy crashes and burns. And people wonder why he’s addicted to drugs. There’s the Stroke and Jarrett calls for the door to be opened. Hardy makes a diving save and we keep going. How has this only been going eight minutes so far?

The referee goes down from something and Hardy is rammed into the cage which is rammed into Sting. Karen gets uncuffed and the door is rammed into Hardy’s head. That gets a VERY close two. Karen tries to send in a guitar but Sting makes the save. We also get the ultra rare barefaced Sting shot. The Twist of Fate ends this at 10:03. That seems really short.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid cage match but again, the length really hurt it. There wasn’t much of a beginning and the violence was pretty limited. Jarrett being the designated loser from the beginning of this match didn’t help anything either. Not a classic by any means but the Hardy Swanton spot was pretty cool looking, although not really needed.

Sting says someone is fired on Thursday.

Roode says the same stuff he’s been saying for weeks now.

We recap the title match which is just Roode turning heel and AJ being his first challenger. This is their rematch.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

This is a 30 minute Iron Man match and AJ has a bad knee coming in. Feeling out process to start as AJ is tentative because of the knee. They trade headlocks as we’re three minutes in. They’re pacing themselves though and that’s just fine. Thank goodness this is thirty minutes and not an hour because those matches are just dreadful to sit through. They go back and forth with headlocks and headscissors and AJ is currently in control.

They run the ropes and AJ’s limpp is getting more pronounced. Roode hits the floor for a break and we’re five minutes in. Back in and he hits some shoulders and chops in the corner. AJ gets sent to the floor and it turns into more of a brawl. Roode takes over back in the ring but AJ tries to speed things up and gets some rollups for two each. While he’s laying on his back, AJ nips up into a rana. That was cool.

Clothesline gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Roode fights up and hits a knee crusher…which doesn’t seem to slow AJ down that much. A second crusher sends AJ to the corner where Roode gets in a shot to the knee and a rollup with feet on the ropes for the first fall at 10:00 with 20:00 to go. Roode works over the leg for the next few minutes, which is perfectly smart strategy.

AJ tries that nip-up into the rana again but gets caught in a half crab. He finally makes the rope and the knee is in trouble. There’s a Figure Four which is still on at the 15:00 mark. AJ taps with 14:38 left and Taz says he should have done that earlier. A chop block puts AJ down again and Roode tries a Figure Four again, but AJ kicks him off, sending the champ’s shoulder into the buckle. He may have injured the shoulder on that.

AJ hits a flying armbar and then a Crossface makes Roode tap with 12:23 to go. Twelve minutes left. He hooks the arm but Roode countered into kind of a half crab but with Roode laying on the mat. AJ escapes and strikes away but Roode knocks him down again. He walks over and gets caught in a small package with 9:51 to go, tying it up. They slug it out and Roode kicks him in the knee to regain momentum.

Spinebuster gets two for Bobby. Roode goes for the knee and AJ kicks him in the shoulder, but the champion gets a DDT onto the leg to put AJ back down. Roode tries a slingshot but AJ lands on the rope (on one foot so the quick recovery isn’t ridiculous) and tries the springboard moonsault into the DDT which mostly doesn’t work. The springboard 450 however does get him a pin and a 3-2 lead with 7:00 to go.

A Fujiwara Armbar is countered as is a half crab attempt. AJ drapes the arm over the rope but when he slides back in, Roode drops onto him and grabs the rope for the pin at 5:00 to go. They go up to the corner where AJ runs the corner and arm drags Roode down onto the shoulder. Three minutes left and AJ drops him onto the arm with a belly to back suplex. Fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two.

There’s the Pele but AJ can’t follow up. Two minutes left. He loads up the Clash but falls backwards with his knee getting all twisted up in the process. Roode goes to the floor instead of covering or following up for some reason. AJ’s leg is fine apparently as he hits a flip dive over the top to the floor with 1:00 left. Back in and Roode rolls to the floor again and keeps running until the clock runs out for a 3-3 tie at 30:00.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match but I’m not a fan of Iron Man matches at all. The problem with them is that there’s almost no point to watching them for the first 25 minutes or so since they’re almost always decided at the very end. Not a bad match at all, but I think everyone knew the tie was coming or that AJ would lose somehow, which hurts things a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. I was disappointed by this show but it’s certainly not bad. The first hour or so is really bad but after that things pick up a lot and it gets a lot better. That being said, the big matches were pretty lackluster overall, with the Battle of the Jeffs being too short and both main events being too predictable. Coming in though we all knew this was a B-Level show which makes things a little better, but at the same time it wasn’t a great show at all. Not bad, but nothing that’ll mean anything in two months.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels – Five Star Frog Splash
Robbie E b. Eric Young – Codebreaker
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Double Chokeslam to D-Von
Austin Aries b. Kid Kash – Brainbuster
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Eat Defeat
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Twist of Fate
AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode went to a 3-3 tie

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Sacrifice 2007
Date: May 13, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is a very interesting show and it’s a pretty important show in company history. The NWA has basically thrown TNA out because the NWA is really stupid and thinks those three letters are enough to carry them. Therefore, the titles aren’t officially the NWA world/tag titles anymore and I don’t think there are physical belts. The NWA bailed because they’re stupid, so the main event is for the world title with Christian vs. Sting vs. Angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how we praise wrestlers like gods even though they’re just humans. They have drive though which is why they’re better than us.

All of the title matches are in triple threat matches tonight. Just what I wanted.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin is champion. Sonjay is jealous because Lethal has been getting the attention when they’re both around Nash. The fans like Lethal. Sabin immediately gets psychological on them, dropping to the mat. Dutt goes for the cover and Lethal says not so fast my friend, channeling his inner Corso. They argue for a bit and then the double teaming begins. That doesn’t last long as they keep arguing. The story here is obvious: they both want the title so they can’t work together.

The times they do work together are pretty solid though, including one instance where they throw him over the top rope to the floor, where he bounces off the concrete and into the railing. The two good guys fly around a bit without making any violent contact. Translation: it’s more like a dance recital than a match. Dutt grabs a one armed camel clutch but Sabin runs back in for a seated dropkick to Lethal’s face.

Sabin and Dutt seem to form a bond so they do the same thing that just happened, but Dutt dropkicks Sabin this time. Cute spot. Sabin takes over and makes the faces miss before hitting a headscissors/tornado DDT combo with Lethal taking the storm-themed move. Dutt is sent to the floor and Sabin hammers on Lethal a bit. Dutt breaks that up with a sweet looking reverse 619 to the leg kind of move.

Lethal goes up and hits a top rope double axe to the floor on Sabin. Dutt tops that with a big old Asai Moonsault to the floor. Back in, Sabin can’t get a top rope rana and Dutt half kills Lethal with a middle rope missile dropkick. There’s a new TNA mascot named Stomper, who I think is a crab. I wonder if he’s Mongolian. Dutt tries to take over but Lethal takes him down, only to have Lethal get knocked down by Sabin. Why am I so chatty in this review? I haven’t written this much in less than 15 minutes of a show in I don’t know how long.

Everyone is down now, presumably due to needing a chance to breathe. Dutt speeds things way up and hits a springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Tenay) to Lethal for two. Sabin takes over again and puts them both in the corner with Dutt looking like he’s in a Styles Clash position from Lethal. Lethal’s hair has kind of exploded and you can see where going to the braided hair was the best thing he could have done.

The fans are split between Lethal and Sabin. What’s with the anti-Indian stance of the fans? Sue them for racism!!! Standing enziguri to Sabin, making him look like he’s having a seizure, or that he’s Elvis. Not sure which but either way a superkick puts him down. A release dragon suplex puts Dutt on the floor and the top rope elbow gets two as Dutt makes a late save (he hit Lethal in the ankle. How does that break up a pin?).

Lethal Combination gets two as Dutt dives off the top with the 450 for the save. He can’t pin either guy but he made up for the weak save a minute ago at least. This match is pretty freaking awesome if you couldn’t tell based on what I’m saying. The good guys get in another argument, allowing Sabin to roll up Dutt (I think with tights) for the pin to retain. Lethal would get the belt next month.

Rating: B. Very fun opener here. This wasn’t about being technically sound, but rather about being all over the place and incredibly entertaining, which is exactly what they did here. Dutt vs. Lethal went on for like a year and it never was all that good. Fun match here, although I have a feeling the rest of the show isn’t going to be able to top it, which isn’t good.

Lethal and Dutt brawl post match until Nash comes out for the save. Dutt kicks Nash in the leg and runs.

Roodes doesn’t want to talk about Eric Young. Instead he says Jeff Jarrett is nothing compared to him. Jarrett is going to make Roode tonight.

Nash comes up to the announce table and says he’ll take care of Sonjay on Thursday.

We run down the card to fill some time.

VKM was at a meet and greet earlier today with fans when Basham/Damaja attacked them. Roadie was injured due to getting his head slammed into the floor so tonight it’s a handicap match.

We recap Jarrett vs. Roode. Jarrett hadn’t been around since losing to Sting at Bound For Glory, which was mainly due to his wife being sick, resulting in her death ten days after this show. Jarrett had come back at Lockdown and then was revealed as Eric Young’s friend who was helping Young after he was signed by Roode.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode

Brooks is in a neck brace due to something not important enough to be explained to us. Big ovation for Jarrett. Roode runs up the aisle as the pyro is still going and jumps Jeff before the bell. A piledriver on the floor is of course countered because it would, you know, cripple Jarrett. We get the opening bell and Jeff hammers away and struts. Brooks trips Jarrett up and we head to the floor again.

Jeff is sent into the steps and we hear about how Jeff might be a bit off tonight because this is his first singles match in over six months. Backslide gets two for Jarrett but Roode stops his momentum with a lariat. Roode goes up and jumps into a boot which was an annoying trend he had during this heel run. We look at the mascot again (instead of Brooks who is, you know, not an animal) and Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long.

Roode hooks a bad figure four (doesn’t even deserve to be capitalized) and Jarrett doesn’t really sell it for awhile. Roode tries it again with a Jarrett mimic in there but Jeff rolls him up for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Traci jumps up and down and I lose my train of thought. Jarrett wins a brief slugout and takes over with a low blow which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Roode gets slammed off the top and now Jarrett hooks the Figure Four in what I guess you can call a Flair Double Shot.

Traci grabs the referee (lucky) while Roode taps. Jarrett is a good guy in this match so he lets go of the hold because he’s an idiot. Roode rips a buckle pad off but both guys block shots into the steel. Now Roode is going for the knee for some reason. Oh yeah that alleged figure four earlier. He wraps Jarrett’s leg around the post and brings in a chair. The referee tries to grab it which the referee releases to send it into Roode’s head in a HORRIBLE looking shot. Stroke gets two as Brooks saves, only to get her sent to the back.

The referee takes her to the back for some reason, allowing Roode to hit a handcuff shot to the head for a very delayed two. Roode brings in a guitar but the referee steals it. Stroke is attempted but Roode counters into a fisherman’s suplex attempt which is countered into a Figure Four attempt which is countered into a kick into the steel exposed earlier. That’s enough for the Payoff (fisherman’s) to end it.

Rating: B+. This show is DRILLING it tonight as we get our second awesome match of the night. The ending was full of some awesome back and forth counters and the ending actually played off something earlier in the match. That’s all you can ask for at times and we got a great match out of it. Good stuff again.

Roode sets for a guitar shot but gets caught in the Figure Four again. Traci bounces out to hit Jarrett with the guitar but Young comes in for the save, putting Traci in a Figure Four of his own.

Christian is having a victory party despite not wrestling for about two hours. He still has the NWA Title here. He says all of Team Cage is going to win tonight. Tomko isn’t here yet and Steiner, his partner later, isn’t happy. AJ says he’ll take care of Joe later.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rhyno

There’s no backstory here that I know of. Daniels was channeling Sting or something, complete with mask, and Rhyno is the next victim I believe. All Rhyno to start as he runs over Daniels with power move after power move. Daniels gets up top but jumps into a belly to belly but he avoids the Gore. The fans aren’t sure who they like best here. Daniels misses a baseball slide but Rhyno misses a pescado. Not often you see a horned man fly. Then again it’s not often that you see a horned man.

Daniels sends him into the post to take over even more as we enter the heel dominance portion of our selection this evening. It appears to be the shoulder that’s hurt, so Daniels sends it into the barricade. Daniels works on the arm a lot, which is so evil and satanic of him isn’t it? Rhyno grabs a backbreaker to finally get some relief for his shoulder. Powerslam gets two.

STO gets two for Daniels. Spinebuster gets the same for Rhyno. This isn’t quite as good as the rest of the matches on the show tonight if you couldn’t tell. Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch which is shifted into the smarter cross armbreaker. Rhyno manages to get to a rope before he started thinking of Del Rio and fell asleep. BME misses and Rhyno hits something like a TKO for two. Daniels hammers away on him but Rhyno snaps off a Gore, which the announcers call a shoulder for no apparent reason. It gets two due to a boot on the ropes. Daniels goes to the floor where he picks up a ball bat and whacks Rhyno with it for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah not as good as the other stuff but still, pretty decent stuff here that could have been a solid TV match which is ok on a PPV I think. The arm work made sense because that was his Gore arm, but I’d have liked the ball bat shot to have been to the arm instead of the head, which looked ridiculous and sounded even worse. Still though, this was fine.

Just to further the eye rolling aspect of the ending, Rhyno is up about 100 seconds after being hit over the head with a baseball bat by a professional athlete. He says he’s going to take Daniels out and goes after him. After a brief chat with the announcers we see Daniels coming back down the ramp with blood covering his face. Rhyno follows a few seconds later with a chair and my goodness he must have hit him hard. There couldn’t be any other possibility like a razor blade or makeup right?

Rhyno sets for a Rhyno Driver onto two chairs but security finally comes in to break it up. Shame too because it would have been awesome looking. West wanted to see the Driver.

We recap VKM vs. Basham/Danaja. VKM wanted Christy Hemme to sleep with them to get ahead and she said no, which set off a fairly long feud, resulting in her bringing in a bunch of teams to face them. It would wind up being the Rock N Rave Infection but until them we’re stuck with the Bashams.

Kip says he’s on his own tonight and that’s cool.

Kip James vs. Basham/Damaja

Damaja starts and Kip fires away quickly, as is common in handicap matches. Fameasser misses and it’s off to Basham. The heels (I think) take over and beat Kip down as Basham hooks a cravate. Kip fights back but walks into a chokebomb (Brain Damage) and a top rope headbutt from Basham ends this.

Rating: D. I guess every show has to have one bad match. This was pretty much nothing as Road Dogg couldn’t be there. To be fair though, it’s not like the match they had the next month was any better at all. This was just a bad match and the walking definition of a popcorn break match. The best match on the show (allegedly) is up next though so I’m cool with that.

Kip gets beaten down again post match until Lance Hoyt finally gets there to make the save.

We recap Storm vs. Harris, which is due to Storm turning heel on Harris and breaking a beer bottle over his eye. The result is a Texas Death Match between a guy from Tennessee and a guy from Kentucky being held in Florida.

Harris says Storm only had to say he wanted to end the team but instead he tried to end Harris’ career with a beer bottle. This has been about revenge and payback. It’s been about revenge before but now it’s about payback.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.

They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.

Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.

It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.

Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.

Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.

Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.

Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.

Sting yells at Daniels about how he doesn’t have this right. Daniels says he has it absolutely right and leaves. Sting yells about Angle and says he’ll win the title tonight.

We get a highlight package of the Death Match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Shelly vs. Senshi vs. Tiger Mask IV

He’s just called Tiger Mask here so we’ll go with that. Two in the ring at a time and we start with Senshi vs. Lynn. It’s one fall to a finish also. Lynn tries a crucifix but Senshi rolls down the back and misses a foot stomp. Lynn hooks an inverted spinning Gory Special and then they hit the mat. Jerry grabs an armbar but Senshi gets into a cross armbreaker on the ropes.

Shelly tags himself in and works on Lynn’s arm to a big reaction. Lynn speeds things up again and takes over on Shelley’s arm. Here’s Tiger Mask and Shelly bails almost immediately. Senshi gets him instead and Tiger Mask takes over. Everybody keeps tagging themselves in so there’s almost no way to keep track of who is legal and what is going on. A standing moonsault gets two for Mask on Shelley.

Everything breaks down and I’m really not even going to try to keep track of it. Lynn’s cradle piledriver is broken up as is the Tiger suplex to Senshi. Lynn hits a sunset flip to something like a Tower of Doom minus the Tower aspect and most of the Doom aspect. Still though, it looked cool and got two. A TKO gets two on Mask and Shelly puts Lynn on the top rope. Senshi dives onto the corner and tries….something that looks like a brainbuster off the top Shelly makes a save. Shelly tries a top rope rana but gets countered into a sunset flip by Lynn for the three count.

Rating: C. It’s fun and flashy but it’s nothing I’m going to want to see again. This is far from what the first one earlier in the night was but they were trying. Also this is a great match to throw out there to give the fans a breather after the big bloodbath we saw with the AMW explosion. It’s not bad but it’s really not my style.

The Guns beat down Lynn post match until Backlund makes the save.

We recap the tag title match. Team 3D beat LAX for the belts and giving them more or less every tag title ever and their 20th title overall.

Tomko says he can’t go over strategy with Steiner because Steiner is nuts and Steiner has right to call him out because he has stuff to do.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX

So Tomko and Steiner don’t get along and are here….because I guess, and LAX are the guys Team 3D beat to get the titles. After almost a minute of arguing we get Homicide vs. Steiner to start us off. Power vs. speed obviously and Homicide can only run so long before he gets caught. Ray tags himself in and sneaks up on Steiner for a pretty awesome German release.

Homicide comes back in and hits half a dropkick to both Immortal members. He and Steiner team up to beat on Ray which is about as odd of a pairing as you’ll find this side of Alex Shelly and Abyss. Ray kicks Homicide’s head off and it’s off to D-Von vs. Tomko. D-Von powerslams him down and SuperMex comes in via the slingshot shoulder. A Thesz Press by D-Von gets the fans behind the champions.

And never mind as LAX double teams him right back down to take over again. Steiner comes in and drops the elbow and the push-ups. Ray breaks up the cover and does push-ups of his own in a funny bit. He and Homicide get into it as D-Von keeps getting beaten down, in this case by Hernandez. Henandez does that always cool backflip to the top rope and seemingly botches a top rope splash to D-Von for two. His leg kind of landed on D-Von’s head which has to freaking hurt.

In a smart move, Tomko breaks up the pin and pulls Hernandez, not D-Von, back to his corner so that Tomko can tag himself in and get a piece of the weakened D-Von. Man, when did Tomko get so smart? It doesn’t really work though as D-Von hits a tornado DDT to break the momentum. I see why Tomko rarely used logic. LAX comes in to stop the tag but D-Von rolls under then and tags Bubba in a nice move.

Ray throws Hernandez out and brings Homicide in. Go after the smaller guys I guess. That’s very bullyish of him. Everything breaks down as is customary in these matches. Steiner suplexes D-Von so Hernandez destroys Steiner with a backbreaker. Ray cleans house and What’s Up Homicide? The fans want tables but Hernandez dives over the top to take out D-Von. Steiner and Tomko beat up Homicide but Homicide rolls through a Doomsday Device for two. Tomko and Steiner get into it but beat up Bubba a bit. Double teaming fails though and a 3D from 3D beats Tomko.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic triple threat here but it worked well enough. The Dudleys needed a win to establish themselves (for some reason) so this did that well enough. The Steiner/Tomko issue will be made clear in a bit. Tomko I think would go on to team with AJ and hold the tag titles for about six months after this so he did well enough. Also they would be the TNA Tag Titles here before to long.

Tomko attacks Steiner post match until Rick Steiner comes out for the save. They would team together for like three PPVs in a row against the Dudleys.

Angle is in Sting’s freaky area. He says Sting goes to Wal-Mart before all of his matches to buy facepaint so he can look like Ronald McDonald. What kind of creepy McDonald’s does Angle frequent? Angle says kill the effects, because once you do that, it’s just like Sting: nothing special. He’s a wrestler but Sting is nothing but a cartoon character. When Kurt Angle is calling you a cartoon character, you must be pretty messed up.

We recap AJ vs. Joe. This is another byproduct of Angle vs. Cage, as if they needed a reason to run this match.

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

They’re treating this like a brand new match for some reason. I mean they’re not saying they’ve never met before, but they’re acting like this is an unheard of pairing. They exchange early control and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner to rattle Styles. Both guys try to speed things up but AJ misses a charge and goes to the floor where Joe hits the suicide elbow to send AJ into the crowd.

AJ gets knocked into the barricade and complains of a bad arm/elbow. Since AJ is a heel here he’s playing possum and pokes Joe in the eye. Why did they think this guy needed Flair again? Out to the floor again and Joe tries the Ole Kick but AJ gets out of the way. Back inside and AJ hits his drop down into the dropkick spot. That always looks so smooth, probably due to his using it in every match.

Joe grabs an atomic drop but a boot misses and AJ spin kicks him down for two. A release German buys some time for the fat Samoan. They slug it out and speed it up but Joe hits an overhead belly to belly and senton backsplash for two. AJ pulls the front of Joe’s trunks down to ram him into the corner and OH MY GOODNESS MY EYES!!!! I….I think I saw thong. What did I do to AJ to deserve that? I rate his matches well enough!

Springboard forearm looks to give AJ the advantage but the backflip into the reverse DDT fails also. The second attempt works better but it’s only good for two. He can’t hit the Clash and walks into a Death Valley Driver for two. Joe gets sent to the floor and may have messed the knee up. Back inside Joe kicks him in the face but can’t charge at Styles in the corner. AJ loads up the Spiral Tap but Joe was playing some serious possum, which AJ had been doing lately. Styles looks terrified so Joe locks in the Clutch and suplexes him over with it for the pin.

Rating: B-. Definitely one of their weaker matches but still very decent stuff. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel. It’s like trying to fight the Easter Bunny: you can try all you want, but it’s not there at the end of the day. This was very back and forth but was more like Joe getting revenge than being in any danger, which isn’t really all that great. Still though, Joe vs. AJ is always worth taking a look at.

We recap the world title match. This really spun off from Team Cage vs. Team Angle at Lockdown where Christian is kind of ducking Angle but he’s finally getting a shot tonight. Sting is here because….well because he’s Sting and he’s always in the title picture. I think he had lost it to Abyss and Christian won it from him so this is officially Sting’s rematch. Oh ok Jarrett got the fall in Lethal Lockdown and gave the title shot he won to Sting. Christian is playing them against each other.

NWA World Title; Sting vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle

Christian comes in as champion as we’ve already covered. Angle has only been here for awhile so he hasn’t been champion yet, making this a potentially huge night. The fans aren’t sure who they like but Sting seems to be solidly in third place. Christian is sent to the floor for the big showdown. I think the Canadian is the only heel in this. Angle takes over on Sting but goes to the floor. Sting beats on Christian outside and the fans seem more behind Christian than anyone else.

Angle vs. Christian in the ring now. Kurt is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s back to Sting vs. the Canadian. Sting actually hits the big elbow drop after a gorilla press. I don’t think I ever remember seeing that. A Vader Bomb of all things gets two. Angle pops back up and pulls Sting to the floor for an Angle Slam (called a suplex by Tenay) on the ramp. So now it’s Christian vs. Angle as the revolving door style of this match continues.

Sting starts getting back up so Christian hammers him right back down. That’s not very nice and I think he should send him a polite handwritten note of apology. Christian slaps Angle resulting in the American hitting a bunch of Germans on the Canadian. He’s at eight so far. Somehow that only gets two for Angle. As if that wasn’t enough for the champion, Sting puts Christian on the top and Angle runs up for a German to make a Tower of Doom, sending Christian flying.

Angle Slam and Unprettier are both countered so Christian goes up. Sting throws Angle into the ropes to crotch the champ. Christian falls forward and Angle is put in front of him for a Stinger Splash. The Death Drop gets two on Angle as Christian pulls the referee out. Scorpion is countered into the ankle lock but Christian saves.

Scratch the saving part as they’re both put in an ankle lock at the same time. They counter out and Sting hits a Rock Bottom on Christian (that’s a new one) but there’s no referee. Another referee comes out and Sting rolls Christian up. Angle grabs Sting’s ankle though and it’s a pin/tap at the same time.

Rating: B-. Good main event but it ran less than eleven minutes which really hurts it. The ending of course got thrown out for a Dusty Finish because Angle winning the world title had to be done twice right? It set up the King of the Mountain match next month which was better than this but not by much. This desperately needed about five more minutes and it would have been far better.

Overall Rating: A-. I REALLY liked this show and it’s easily one of the best that TNA has ever done. There’s a great match in the Death Match and the only really bad match is the handicap which is understandable. Good stuff although a longer main event and the show not ending in a Dusty Finish would have raised it up even higher. I liked it a lot and it’s probably the top TNA show I can think of. Great show.

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Slammiversary 2007
Date: June 17, 2007
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to TNA again and in this case it’s the anniversary show. Since Eric and Hulk aren’t around yet, we have the then signature TNA match in the form of the King of the Mountain. This is for the vacant title because the NWA left and therefore we’re needing a first official TNA World Champion. Chris Harris is in the main event because…..I don’t think anyone knows the answer to that actually. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a of some shots of old wrestling and then the original TNA logo. We cut to some country/bluegrass style music set to clips of the old TNA stuff. Jarrett beating up Hogan is in there. Hogan never came to TNA until 2010, officially at least. Now we’re looking at someone that looks like Tiger Woods putting a golf ball as West and Tenay do commentary. Jeff Jarrett hits him with a guitar and keeps the ball from going in. Ok then.

Some band performs the theme song for the PPV. Fast forward time.

LAX vs. Rhyno/Senshi

LAX had dominated the company in 07 and this is Senshi (Kaval) and Rhyno’s first time teaming together. The camera seems a bit lower than usual. Maybe it’s a venue thing. Hector Guerrero is with Senshi/Rhyno because Konnan has been blaming him for LAX losing the tag belts. Rhyno and Homicide start us off and a powerbomb is messed up, sending Homicide to the floor I think by mistake.

Off to Senshi who steps onto the bottom rope to get in. Hernandez comes in and Senshi manages to get out of the way to preserve his life. He goes after SuperMex’s leg which doesn’t really do much at all. LAX can’t get anything going here and never mind that as Hernandez picks Senshi up and LAUNCHES him across the ring. I mean that man was airborne. It looked incredible.

Back to Homicide as LAX takes over and beats on Senshi. Rhyno hasn’t really done much so far but I guess they’re saving him for the big hot tag at the end. To be fair he’s good at the big explosive comebacks so I can live with that one. Hernandez throws Senshi around again but a powerbomb is countered and Senshi manages to hit the double stomp to set up the aforementioned hot tag. Rhyno throws everyone around and Hernandez goes to the floor. Senshi hits a HUGE dive to take him out but Homicide hits a cutter on Rhyno. Konnan and Hector get involved, allowing Rhyno to gore Homicide for the pin.

Rating: B-. Fun opener here and the high spots were VERY high. That’s how you open a show as the crowd is now really fired up and it’s due to the proper pacing of a tag match. On top of that, they kept it relatively short (8 minutes or so) which is the idea for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it quite a bit.

Scott Steiner is legit injured and had to legit have his life saved in Puerto Rico so he might not be here.

We run down the card because that’s what TNA does on its PPVs.

There’s a mystery person in King of the Mountain, which I’ve already spoiled.

Video explaining King of the Mountain. We even recap the qualifying matches to fill in even more time.

Eric Young is all paranoid about getting fired. Traci Brooks, Roode’s associate, comes up to try and seduce him which would eventually work, making him sign with Roode. Gail Kim comes in and snaps him out of it by kissing him.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin has been champion for like five months at this point. Nash comes out for commentary because he’s molded Lethal into Black Machismo recently. Nash’s headset goes out almost immediately after the bell rings and the fans are split. Lethal gets a pretty sweet headscissors to send him to the floor, followed by an ok suicide dive. Sabin spits in Lethal’s face and hits a jumping knee to the face to take over.

Sabin fires off something like a Garvin Stomp but does it fast enough that I don’t have to think of Garvin. The announcers are talking about Nash beating Backlund in MSG. How exactly can you analyze a match that lasted 8 seconds? We go into a standard match formula with Sabin beating Lethal down until we get to the Lethal comeback and then go to the finish.

I’m not sure what it means when you can more or less call the formula for a match about halfway through it, but I don’t think it’s anything good. Lethal makes that comeback with a few hip tosses and a spinning cross body for two. Nash: “This place used to be called Jonesville. Then I got here.” Lethal hits a unique move which can only be described as a reverse fisherman’s suplex into a reverse powerbomb. Looked good but too complicated at the same time.

Sabin takes over with some rapid fire kicks which is what he would get more famous as soon enough in the Motor City Machine Guns. Lethal grabs a full nelson but can’t hit the Lethal Combination. The second time works a bit better and the big elbow gives Lethal his first of I believe six X-Titles.

Rating: C. Just ok here and nothing all that great. Lethal wasn’t exactly over yet and he wouldn’t be for a long time. At this point he was just a goofy 22 year old who did nothing but imitated a much better guy. Nothing to see here but for a big show they needed a title change so that’s all fine and good.

At the Slammiversary press conference, we set up the football players match. Yeah there are former Tennessee Titans wrestling tonight. Oh joy.

Storm is with Lauren (GORGEOUS) and rants about Wycheck some more.

Frank Wycheck/Jerry Lynn vs. James Storm/Ron Killings

Why is this happening? Oh because Wycheck was at the first shows. Ok then. Truth and Lynn start us off which is probably the best thing they can do. Off to Wycheck for the showdown with Storm….and Storm knocks him down on the first shot. Storm puts on a Titans helmet and dances around a bit and then knocks Wycheck down again.

Frank takes over and throws Lynn over the top onto the heels and the fans think this is good stuff. I guess the TNA stupidity follows them around. Wycheck misses a shot and is in trouble again. He had to retire due to concussions so the heels go for his head. A chair is brought in but the distraction is enough to get the tag to Lynn. Eye of the Storm takes care of him and Storm spits beer in the face of the other football player at ringside.

Truth comes in and doesn’t do as well so it’s a double tag again. Wycheck beats up both heels with celebrity stuff but Storm kicks his head off to cheers. The other football player makes the save and gets in a fight with Jackie. Everything breaks down and Storm has to take the cradle piledriver from Wycheck. Dang I hope he got a nice big bonus for that one.

Rating: D. I hate celebrity matches. I have no connection to Frank Wycheck and the only reason he’s there was he was a big football player in Tennessee. I love the NFL, but this doesn’t mean anything to me and we have to get a bad match that looks like Storm isn’t talented enough to beat a guy with zero experience. I hate these things.

We recap Backlund vs. Shelley. Shelley was one of Nash’s students and Backlund was crazy about Nash beating him back in 94. Shelley said that he could beat Backlund in 9 seconds and there was something about a book being stolen or something like that.

Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley

Backlund is one of those cases where I have no idea what they were thinking when they brought him in. We hear the stories of Backlund not signing autographs unless you can recite all of the presidents in order. Backlund takes him down with ease and the fans are mostly on Shelley’s side. They slug it out a bit and Backlund takes him into a short armed scissors. Backlund uses the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter (which should be called the Backlund counter but whatever).

Backlund hits a gorgeous butterfly suplex and then an atomic drop which used to be Backlund’s finisher. Sabin runs in to trip him up but gets crotched on the top. Shelley gets dropped into Sabin’s balls and a bridging O’Connor Roll beats Shelley clean. Yes, Bob Backlund just destroyed the Motor City Machineguns by himself in less than four minutes.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this is a great example of “what were they thinking”. I mean don’t get me wrong, Backlund is a legend, but this is the year 2007. Who are they really appealing to with him? This one isn’t about me being mad about him being there, but more of genuine confusion. I don’t get this one at all.

The Guns try to double team him but they both get put in the Crossface Chickenwing. Nash comes out to break it up and Jerry Lynn comes out to even the odds. Nash kicks Lynn down and the Guns beat up Backlund. Now Jay Lethal comes down and beats up the Guns as well. I have NO IDEA what just happened.

Christopher Daniels starts calling out Sting and the lights go out. He’s the Fallen Angel at the moment and is facing Sting tonight. Daniels talks about being here to do the Father’s work and how he’s an angel. Again, I have no idea what they’re talking about here and I don’t think they know either.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. the Voodoo Kin Mafia (New Age Outlaws). They basically said you have to sleep your way to the top so she brought in a bunch of teams to face them and I think this is the final one with her bringing in the Bashams. There was a big brawl backstage and Road Dogg gave a big angry promo about it.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Damaja/Basham

At least we can look at Christy’s hottness. Big brawl to start and no one is really all that interested. Christy is chased into the ring and oh hey there’s the bell. Basham (Danny) vs. Road Dogg to start us off. Roadie gets beaten down and it’s off to Kip. He gets double teamed as well as the Bashams set for a double suplex. Roadie spears one of them and Billy gets a small package to Basham for the pin. This was NOTHING, not even lasting three minutes.

Billy chases Christy up the ramp but VKM associate Lance Hoyt picks her off. And then Hoyt beats up the VKM. Jimmy Rave would be added to form the Rock N Rave Infection which would only result in more tiny outfits for Christy and nothing else to note. This should have been on Impact. Oh and Christy kisses Hoyt after the Bashams help for a 3-2 beatdown.

Rick Steiner is mad about not having a match tonight but he has a partner. He whispers it in Cornette’s ear and Jim is very happy, saying the match is on.

LAX beats up Hector Guerrero.

We recap Roode vs. Young which is STILL going on. Jeff Jarrett made a one off return to help Eric and won Young’s freedom which didn’t count. The match is for Eric’s freedom of course but if Eric loses he’s fired, which was what Eric was terrified of at this point.

Robert Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode slaps Young in the head a bit and it fires Young up, making him shout HIT ME AGAIN. Young sends him to the floor and hits a huge dive off the top to take Roode out. Roode takes over quickly and we make jokes about Brooke. There’s the Hennig neck snap and Roode is in total control. Time for a chinlock and I remember why I hated this heel run by Roode.

Eric counters into an electric chair drop and both guys are down. Discus lariat gets two for Eric. Young is sent to the floor so he pulls Brooks’ pants down after dancing with her. Top rope elbow gets two for Eric. Brooks comes in and there’s a double Death Valley Driver which gets two on Roode. You know, because a big and impressive spot like that shouldn’t end a match. And then Roode whacks Eric in the head with a chair for the pin. Seriously that’s it.

Rating: C-. The ending KILLS that match. Young was rather popular at this point and having him lose after a big spot like that is really pretty stupid. Roode was SO freaking boring as a heel and he never really changed anything about his character, which somehow made him even more boring. Decent match until the ending, but that kills it.

It’s a Dusty Finish though. Roode fires Eric but here’s Cornette to say hang on a second. The match is restarted and Roode hits him in the head multiple times. Gail runs out and beats down Brooks. The distraction leads to a rollup pin for Eric.

Team 3D doesn’t care who Steiner’s partner is. They think Scott’s throat problem is because he talked about the Dudleys too much and he’s hiding. D-Von’s head looks like it’s made of old shoe leather.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Rick Steiner/???

And the mystery partner is….Road Warrior Animal. Yeah that’s it. The fans chanting it before he came out kind of hurt the shock a bit. Rick puts on his head gear post bell and it makes a huge difference. Rick vs. D-Von to start us off. I don’t think Scott is in the hospital. I think it’s more like he and Animal cooked him and had him for a late night snack. It would explain those guts on them.

Animal offers to come in and Rick waves him off. Nice partner dude. Oh ok there he is and Ray gets in his face. A piledriver is no sold and we have gimmick infringement from Hawk. I guess since he’s dead it’s ok. Back to Rick and they mistime something, as I think Ray was supposed to hit Rick as he hit the ropes but Rick stopped with zero contact at all. Off to Bubba legally and a neckbreaker gets two.

D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the tag to Animal. Something I never get: why can a team that has never teamed together before like Steiner and Animal get a tag title match? There isn’t another team that can challenge the Dudleys? Animal cleans house and it’s back to Rick as everything breaks down. The challengers try to load up the Doomsday Device but Animal gets caught in the double neckbreaker and the 3D ends Rick.

Rating: D. These “dream” matches usually suck because by the time you get teams big enough to have a dream match, they’re old. To be fair though, there was almost no way Animal, who barely wrestled anymore, was going to be able to come out there and have a decent match. Scott may be old and slow but he’s active at least. Bad match, but understandably bad.

We recap Daniels vs. Sting. Sting mentored him which I don’t even remember and Daniels snapped because of it. I remember being excited for this match but thinking the match sucked. I wonder if it’ll still be the case. Wait….that might have been Sting vs. Storm. I think it was actually.

Christopher Daniels vs. Sting

Sting repels from the ceiling for no apparent reason. It looked cool though. Sting takes over to start and speeds things up, which you would think would favor Daniels. He hooks the Deathlock very quickly but Daniels grabs a fast rope. Daniels takes over and has a stupid Mike Tyson style tattoo (paint) around his eye. Sting fights back but neither guy can get a hip toss.

We go old school with an abdominal stretch which doesn’t count for some reason. Daniels and Hebner get into it a bit and then he snaps off a Stinger Splash. This of course fires up the Stinger and Daniels is in trouble. Faceplant gets two. Two Stinger Splashes are broken up and the Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) is countered into the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Yeah it was this match that I found boring and lackluster. There was nothing here at all and Sting just beat him up like he was any other guy. Daniels had been built up as the guy that could take down Sting and Sting destroyed him here. I don’t get the point of this one and it didn’t work at all.

We recap Abyss vs. Tomko. This was another part of Abyss vs. Christian’s Coalition. Abyss had taken a huge beatdown from the whole team and Tomko is the first victim for him.

Christian’s Coalition says Christian will win the title tonight. AJ protests because he’s in there too. Christian says AJ will sacrifice himself so Christian can win the title and Styles isn’t sure what to think of that but he goes along with it because he’s an idiot at this point.

Tomko vs. Abyss

This is No DQ. Slugout to start is won by Abyss and they head to the floor. Tomko takes over with the violent tendencies, ramming Abyss into the steps to take over. Back in a bit boot puts Tomko down and TOTALLY misses an Umaga charge in the corner. Tomko sold it anyway because he’s not that talented. Chokeslam gets two. Here are the tacks but Tomko reverses and powerbombs Abyss onto them for two.

Abyss’ arm is busted open so he fires a shot to Tomko and hits the floor to get another bag. This time it’s glass but again he takes too long and Tomko gets a big jagged piece and drives it into Abyss’ head. In a SICK spot, Abyss is kneeling over the glass so Tomko practically curb stomps him into it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! They head to the floor again and Tomko finds a barbed wire ball bat which goes into the ribs and back of Abyss.

They go to the entrance and begin to climb. This isn’t going to end well. Tomko is up top with the bat but Abyss grabs the bat and pulls Tomko down to a big box sort of thing which falls apart. Tomko being up a few seconds later completely ruins the spot. I mean he’s up maybe 8 seconds later. Abyss is down even longer than Tomko was after that flip. Are you kidding me? Back in the ring, Tomko tries to pick Abyss up but walks into the Black Hole Slam onto the glass for the pin. That was pretty anti-climactic.

Rating: B-. This was about violence and on that note it worked, but the big spot of the match completely bombed. Like I said, having him pop up so fast just killed it. Not a great match or anything here but it was fun for the most part and that’s really all they could have hoped for out of this one.

Angle and Joe stare it down in the back. Angle says let’s go have a great match and beat each other up badly. Joe shakes his hand but says tonight it’s real.

Mike Tenay is in the ring for some reason. He shows us an interview with Jeff Jarrett. His wife Jill had legitimately died recently and he wasn’t sure if he was going to keep wrestling. He talks about the history of the company, including stuff like Toby Keith and beating up Hulk Hogan. He talks about founding the company and his wife agreeing that it was ok. Then he gets to the heavy stuff, talking about his wife passing away less than a month ago. Jarrett is in tears almost the entire time while he’s saying this. Being in the ring is the worst place he can be right now though, so his future is unknown.

The fans aren’t sure if they should chant for Jill or Jeff.

Cornette announces the last guy in the match will be Chris Harris.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christian Cage vs. Chris Harris

This is King of the Mountain and the title is vacant. Ok so King of the Mountain is TNA’s signature match, or at least it was before Hogan and Bischoff took over. There are five guys and there is a place to hang the belt above the ring. In essence, it’s a reverse ladder match because you have to hang the belt above the ring. Before you’re allowed to do that though, you have to qualify by pinning someone else. When someone is pinned that person has to go to the penalty box for two minutes. Got all that?

Joe goes right after Angle. Cornette is holding the belt. This is kind of a mess at first which makes it really hard to call. Cage and Styles beat up Harris and then Styles lays down for Cage. Angle makes the save but Joe wants to hurt him some more. Styles takes Harris down again and wants Christian to lay down. Christian says no so Styles rolls him up for two. The camera is all over the place, making it really hard to keep up with.

Joe and Christian are in the ring now and down goes the Canadian. Off to Harris but the Cataonic and Unprettier both miss. A full nelson slam puts Christian down but Styles breaks it up. He gets caught in the Catatonic for a fast pin by Harris, making him eligible. The clock for AJ is at 1:30 by the time he gets in the cage. Harris and Cage fight on the floor so Joe throws a ladder at them.

Back to Angle vs. Joe with the fat boy taking over. Angle grabs a boot though and here are the Rolling Germans. Christian comes in and is in an ankle lock/Koquina Clutch combo. Styles gets out just in time for the save. Cage puts a ladder between the ring and barricade like a bridge. Christian falls down onto it due to a right hand by Harris to crotch him. On top of that he’s stuck there.

In the ring, AJ hits the Pele and springboard forearm to put Joe outside. Styles Clash to Angle is countered into the ankle lock but AJ breaks it, sending Kurt to the floor. AJ gets launched onto Christian onto the ladder. Harris goes up another ladder but Angle Slams him off for a pin to become eligible. Joe THINKS and throws the ladder to the floor. He beats up everyone in sight, hitting a MuscleBuster on AJ for two.

We get a ref bump in a gimmick match. Angle gets put in the choke and he taps, but there’s no referee. Christian hits Joe with a ladder and steals the pin on Kurt. Man there are some smart people in this company. The referee can’t let Harris out even though his time is up. Oh there’s another referee so it doesn’t matter. Joe stops Christian from hanging the belt and hits a huge cutter off the ladder onto the belt.

Harris goes up with the belt and people start booing. A belt shot stops Joe and he hiptosses Christian off, but Styles hits a springboard dropkick to break it up. Angle is out of the box. AJ and Joe climb on top of the box for no apparent reason. AJ kicks Joe low but Joe launches AJ off the top and through the announce table. Harris knocks Joe off the top and Christian is tossed back into the ring after climbing up as well. Harris hits a huge clothesline to kill Angle.

Everyone is down so Harris goes Terry Funk and spins around with the ladder over his head. He goes up AGAIN but Christian knocks him over and into the buckle. Christian goes up but Kurt grabs the ankle lock while the Canadian is still up there. No tap though and they fight on the ladder. Harris spears Christian off and Angle hangs the belt to become champion. How bad is it that I don’t remember him pinning anyone? I had to go back and find where he pinned Harris.

Rating: B. Good match here as the King of the Mountain was its usual insane but fun self. This is TNA’s signature match and almost as usual it gets to be a fun match. Angle winning the title and becoming the first champion is probably the right move. They waited WAY too long on pulling the trigger on Joe, but that’s TNA for you. Good main event though.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to grade. There’s some good stuff on there for sure and the last two matches are both fun, but MY GOODNESS is this a chore to sit through. The core of this show is just exhausting and it feels like it’s never going to end. Not a horrible show at all but I’d have a remote in hand to fast forward about 60% of it, which isn’t a good thing at all.

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Turning Point 2011
Date: November 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s time for Turning Point and to be honest, I had to look up the card to remember anything more than about two matches. The title match is slapped on because they’ve burned through their big PPV main event level matches for the sake of a TV rating that came and went. Other than that we have a lot of matches that don’t mean a lot and two that were added since Impact to flesh out the card a little bit. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bit different, probably because they have no idea what the point of this show is. It’s about….Richard Nixon and Bobby Roode? Whatever.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Apparently losing to a reality TV star after losing your previous title shot means you get another one on PPV. There’s the locking up with the referee and the victory lap from Young before anything happens. They speed things up to start and Young sends him to the floor. They do some basic fast paced stuff and nothing is really worth writing down. Robbie hooks a chinlock and then a second one a few moments later.Nice way to fire up a crowd to open a PPV guys.

Orlando is fired up for this. I guess they were jealous from not having their show for a few weeks. Young gets up and hits a Stunner to escape and both guys are a bit dazed. Eric starts Hulking Up and takes his pants off, revealing GTW trunks. What is the appeal of this guy? I’d assume it’s that he’s not interesting or talented enough to be anything but comedy relief but I’ll be nice and assume otherwise.

Eric fights back with a forearm, dropkick and belly to belly for two. There’s a top rope elbow and he’s no Shawn Michaels. The other Rob saves the other Robbie and Eric strips again. Get this over with already. Eric dives to the floor to take them both out but Rob gets in an extra shot, allowing Robbie E to get the pin and the title at about 7:00.

Rating: D+. The only thing that matters here is that Eric Freaking Young isn’t champion anymore. This was one of those comedy matches that wasn’t funny and is there to say they had another title match. TNA fanboys like to complain about WWE being for kids, but a Jersey Shore guy just beat a guy who stripped to two pairs of underwear to win their equivalent of the Intercontinental Title. Think about that for a minute.

Video on Mexican America vs. Ink Inc.

AJ and Roode are here.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Ink Inc.

Ok so it’s a six person tag with Sarita and Toxxine or whatever her name is in as well. This was about a beating that injured Neal from like 6 months ago which is being mentioned now because we’ve had too much to talk about since then. Anarquia vs. Moore gets us going but it’s off to Neal quickly. Jesse and Hernandez get in each others’ faces and yell at each other a lot as the fans chant USA. I’m assuming it’s for Ink Inc, but the Mexicans are Americans so who knows?

The big showdown goes nowhere and it’s back to Moore who gets caught by the power game for a bit. Ink Inc speeds things up and it’s off to Anarquia. Boring stuff so far and we have a Pork sign in the front row. Tazz praises Sarita for jumping up and down on the apron like he’s a 12 year old trying to sound mature. Off to Neal who gets caught by a slingshot shoulder by Hernandez.

Mexican America takes over on Neal as I’m trying to imagine Ricky Morton with that kind of hair. It really isn’t working. Off to a chinlock by Anarquia for a bit of rest. Some SuperMex power double teaming doesn’t work as Anarquia misses his assisted dive. Neal tags in the chick and it’s Toxxine vs. Sarita. The tattoed chick dominates until Hernandez makes the save and things break down.

We get to the comedy of the match as Toxxine and Neal pulls Anarquia’s pants down to show the involuntary tattoo back there. And then Sarita hits Toxxine in the back with the belt for the pin at 8:34. You know, because they haven’t made the titles even more worthless already. Didn’t they have something to do with Hulk for like fifteen minutes?

Rating: D+. Whatever here as this is what we waited for since June or however long its been? The match wasn’t anything good and the girls added nothing to it at all. Oh and the forced tattoo thing was pointless too as well as not funny. They couldn’t get five minutes to build this on Impact either? I don’t think it would have helped but the thought would have been nice.

Aries and Kash are in league to take care of Sorensen tonight. My mind wanders as Kash talks but I think he mentioned cutting Sorensen with his knife. Aries has a cape and stays behind to get more face time. His words, not mine.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash

Aries leaves Kash to fight Sorensen on his own to start. Sorensen gets beaten down quickly as things start fast. They’re playing up the whole 2-1 idea here as Sorensen gets rid of one but has the other waiting on him. Sorensen is like screw it and hits a huge dive to take them both out, getting two on Aries. Kash gets Sorensen down and tries to steal the title but Aries makes the save.

Kash hits a low blow now but Aries reminds him of the plan. Sorensen sends Kash to the floor via a nice dropkick (every rookie knows how to do that move very well anymore) but his cross body only gets two on Aries as Kash is back in. We get a slick double team move as Kash hooks a surfboard and Aries kicks away. They take turns chopping Sorensen and this is looking bleak.

Sorensen grabs a backdrop to send Kash to the floor out of nowhere but he’s still outnumbered. I mean, he is fighting A Double after all. Kash pulls him to the floor so Aries can hit the awesome dive for two back in the ring as now it’s Kash that doesn’t want to lose. The heels argue a bit but beat on Sorensen a bit more. Aries goes up and does an Eddie Guerrero imitation (he passed away six years ago today) but lands on the knees. Wouldn’t that hut really badly?

Kash was up top and misses his old fat man moonsault. Sorensen makes his comeback and gets two on Aries with a neckbreaker. Kash keeps making the save as I guess he needs the exercise at his age. Sorensen makes the heels hit each other with clotheslines and goes up. Kash gets up and hooks a superplex and then the Moneymaker (double underhook piledriver) to kill Sorensen dead but Aries steals the pin at about 13:00.

Rating: B. I enjoyed this a lot as the psychology was there as it almost always is in three ways. I liked this one a lot as Sorensen couldn’t catch a break which is the whole idea of something like this. Fun match and the dive by Austin is always cool to see. Good match and I think Aries retaining is the right idea here.

AJ says tonight is about revenge and he’ll take the title tonight to get rid of Roode once and for all. Solid angry promo here.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rob Van Dam

This is no DQ. Why? No particular reason, but gimmicks make matches better right Russo? Daniels asks how we got to this stipulation so fast and says he’s not a hardcore wrestler. Instead, let’s make this a regular wrestling match. The fans boo what they had already come in expecting to see and RVD eventually shakes hands. Daniels pulls him in because every face has to be an idiot.

They go to the mat quickly and Daniels is sent running. Back in and there’s the monkey flip to put Daniels in trouble. Why is it so rare to see Daniels in something not involving AJ? A kick puts Daniels down but he’s an old X-Division guy so he doesn’t sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Daniels but RVD escapes and hits a quick Rolling Thunder for no cover. A slingshot legdrop has Daniels in trouble but he takes over again quickly.

Daniels hooks a neck crank as this match is slowing down a lot. That’s not exactly a bad thing but it’s noticeable. Death Valley Driver gets two for Daniels. A running forearm in the corner puts Van Dam down. They slug it out and RVD puts him down with a clothesline. The springboard kick puts him down too and Daniels sends him to the floor because he was down 6 seconds.

A top rope kick puts Daniels on the floor and he tries to run. Van Dam rams him into the barricade and then hits a running legdrop to Daniels’ back as he’s draped over said barricade. The fans aren’t as into this as you would expect. Back inside and Daniels throws the referee into RVD and drops him with an STO. There’s a chair to Van Dam’s ribs and a takedown onto the chair for two. Here comes the toolbox and then the screwdriver but Van Dam gets the chair for the Van Daminator. Tazz: “Been there, felt that, it sucks.” Five Star ends this at 11:13.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the rules and stipulations were kind of a weird deal. It’s very nice to see Daniels doing something other than fighting AJ. I really don’t get the point in having RVD going over here as they had built Daniels up pretty well lately and they have RVD, the guy with the least amount of direction this side of Kofi Kingston, get a win over him on PPV?

The Robs celebrate and Robbie says he’s a TV star who will be around for a long time to come. They’re going to the club.

We recap Crimson vs. Matt Morgan. It’s a “dream match” according to them. I want whatever sleeping pill that person took because it must be powerful.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

It’s a power struggle to start and neither guy can get anywhere with that. Test of strength doesn’t go anywhere as Crimson lets go, which is kind of a heel move. Crimson takes over with a cravate and then some strikes which Tenay says he’s really good at. I don’t recall him being anything above average at them but that works. A clothesline puts Crimson on the floor as they’re playing up the idea that they’re evenly matched.

They fight on the floor and Morgan eventually takes over, possibly due to Crimson having a bad knee. Side slam gets two back in the ring for Morgan. Crimson fights back with a forearm/cross body. A release belly to belly overhead suplex gets two. Morgan fights back with a chokeslam for two. They’re playing this up like a chess match where neither guy can hit anything to get an extended advantage.

Morgan uses more power stuff but can’t get the pin on Crimson which is frustrating him. Crimson tries to reverse a whip but gets caught by a big boot from Morgan. Crimson grabs the Red Sky out of nowhere but Morgan rolls to the ropes, delaying the cover and making it only get two. Morgan says give me your best shot and they slug it out. They do something similar to Cactus Jack and Terry Funk trading weapon shots at the Rumble in I think 98. They get in a brawl and shove the referee down for the weak but required double DQ at 12:05.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it was a little weird. They were trying to have this clash of the titans and it only half worked as Crimson hasn’t been dominant at all and Morgan is known for not being able to win the big one so it was like a clash of titans that aren’t already off in a big war if that makes sense. The ending was required as I’d assume they’re going to another PPV match with these two, which is fine.

There’s a pull apart brawl after the match.

Scott Steiner and Bully Ray are ready for Abyss and Anderson. Ray talks trash and tells Scott to just keep flexing. Scott says he went to Parts Unknown and found Abyss’ girlfriend to find out everything about Abyss. She was a cross between a redneck and a billy goat. After this, Ray has to date her and she’s not only ugly but fat. Ray insinuates that Team 3D is the best team ever and Scott says he’s the best tag team ever. Oh and don’t bring her any food because she’s fat. This was HILARIOUS.

Scott Steiner/Bully Ray vs. Abyss/Mr. Anderson

The entrances take forever and it’s Anderson vs. Ray to start us off. I’m still trying to figure out why Abyss was a mystery partner last week. Ray runs his mouth a lot as Anderson takes him down with an armbar. Anderson’s clotheslines don’t work so he uses Amazing Red’s double rotation kick instead. Ray suplexes out of a headlock and here’s Steiner. Taz and Steiner had coffee earlier. Good to know I guess.

No Abyss yet as Anderson gets two off a clothesline. Anderson takes both of them down but gets crotched on the post. Taz calls it Yambag Yahtzee. Didn’t he used to be the human suplex machine? The fans say they love Steiner so he tells them to shut up. They chant louder, thereby making him mad. How much can they love him then? Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker to take Ray down but we get the old school heel move of coming in to make sure the referee misses the face tag. I love that.

Scott goes up and hits his Angle Slam from up there as we’re still waiting on the very hot tag to Abyss. Steiner draws him in as Anderson gets a sunset flip for two. The fans haven’t stopped chanting for about three minutes now. He even flips them off and they won’t stop. Ray and Steiner yell at each other as Ray comes in. Anderson counters the Bubba Bomb into a DDT and both guys are down.

There are those chants again. I know he’s popular but this is insane. We get the double tag and the fans are only a little excited to see Abyss. He beats everyone up and drops Steiner with a slam. Abyss goes up and hits a middle rope splash on the pancake formerly known as Scott Steiner. That gets two as does a chokeslam. The heels double team so Abyss runs them over with a double clothesline.

Anderson gets a blind tag and takes over on apparently the most popular guy in the entire company. Steiner grabs a downward spiral for two on Anderson, who gets booed for kicking out a little bit. Steiner even busts out the Frankensteiner for no cover on Anderson as Abyss got a blind tag of his own and the Black Hole Slam ends this at 11:47.

Rating: C. A decent tag match but those Steiner chants were a big surprise. Then again these are the TNA fans so if they could find a way to get themselves over I’d bet on them having a meeting before the PPV to plan it as well as possible. Not a bad match here and it was better than most Impact tags, which is really all you can ask for.

Post match Immortal beats down Abyss and puts him through a table but he pops up.

Gail/Madison/Karen are ready and this is about Karen looking good as the Knockouts Champion reflects on her as the Knockouts boss. Karen says she and Madison won’t come out later.

Video on Velvet Sky who we’re still supposed to believe was bullied because girls that look like that and were athletes in high school got treated awfully right?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Brawl to start and I really can’t complain about seeing Velvet in shorts like those. Gail is knocked to the floor and Velvet totally misses a baseball slide but Gail sells it anyway. Back in a crossbody gets two for Sky. Kim takes over and here’s Karen on the ramp as the fans chant what sounds like Sloppy Seconds. Gail hooks an abdominal stretch and Velvet fights back with nothing significant.

I’m sorry if I seem totally out of it here but I have zero interest in this show for the most part. Eat Defeat is blocked into a facebuster by Velvet but Karen distracts as Madison comes in to lay out Velvet. That only gets two and Gail goes up, missing a missile dropkick but managing a rollup with tights for two. Madison cheats again and Eat Defeat gives us a new champion at 5:54. Really?

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the cheating got old fast. Also, they really took the title off Velvet that fast? I’m really kind of surprised by that as I would have thought they would build to Velvet vs. Angelina in the big showdown that has only kind of happened so far. Not great and not bad, but Velvet in blue is always a good thing.

Eric is on the phone with presumably his wife and says Garrett will be coming back to her in a bag after Thursday. Ray comes up all panicked and says they have to do something about Abyss. Maybe the beating him down stuff isn’t working. The camera is on Eric’s stomach for some reason. Ray freaks and says Eric needs to do something. Eric says Ray needs to do something as I have images of Spaceballs dancing in my head. They go off to find Abyss.

We recap Jeff vs. Jeff where Hardy says that he needed to get back to his roots. Jarrett says that Hardy has burned everything how many times and been selfish how many times? Hardy says he doesn’t deserve another chance but asks for another anyway.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

It’s a good move to put Hardy in there with Jarrett for his first big match back as Jarrett is almost a guaranteed decent match. Hardy comes out with something like a viking hat on that resembles a ram’s head. Hardy comes in and hits an immediate Twist of Fate to end it in 4 seconds. What just happened???

Rating: C+. Now the first second was kind of slow but those next two seconds were as good as any two seconds that the Briscos and the Funks ever could hope to have. Have you ever seen a match start that fast? The last second was kind of weak though so it brings things down. Still good though.

Jarrett wants to do it again so he jumps Hardy and that’s all cool I guess. The two opening bells were exactly one minute apart.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

Jarrett jumped him so he has an early advantage, hitting the move where Hardy is in the 619 position and Jarrett hits a running hip shot to the back of the head. Big Boss Man used it a lot. That really needs a name. All Jarrett so far as Hardy sells like he’s a master at. The guy may be a screwup but he can make you believe he fell out of a building like few others can. Hardy fights back with elbows and punches but Jarrett hooks a sleeper. They slug it out and Hardy grabs a jackknife cover for two. Both finishers are countered and Jarrett tries the figure four. Hardy rolls through for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: C-. Well it was longer, but I still don’t get the point of whatever we just saw was. Hardy looked ok but what was the point in having Hardy pin him twice in less than six minutes? Did Hardy have an early probation meeting to make? Anyway, this was ok but I have no idea what was going on here. I’d love to see some reports on this one.

Jarrett hits Hardy with a chair as he goes up the ramp. Jarrett shouts that it’s over when he says it’s over. He throws Hardy back in the ring and Hebner is forced back in. Jarrett hits the Stroke and says count but Hardy rolls him up and pins Jarrett again after we’ll say about 20 seconds.

Some people congratulate Hardy in the back, including AJ which is a big moment in a way.

Roode says that he was Beer Money and he was Fourtune. He’s the leader of the new generation and that he’ll do whatever it takes to beat AJ and flips the camera off.

We recap Roode winning the title and his heel turn. He didn’t want to risk losing his other shot and turned heel to make sure it worked. Then they used Roode vs. Storm on Impact to make sure that they didn’t have a long build to a big time PPV match which could have drawn money. I mean, they managed a 1.3 in the ratings for crying out loud. CELEBRATION BABY!!! AJ said he’ll fight him for injuring Storm, who is the real star in all of this.

TNA World Title: Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. It’s 10:30 so they have a pretty decent amount of time to use. Roode bails to the corner to start. Nothing to see in the first two minutes or so as Roode stalls. They trade some punches but they’re in whatever gear is below first. AJ had a legit ankle injury coming into this but I’m not sure how severe it was. AJ dodges a charge to send Roode to the floor and hits a running dive off the apron.

It’s pretty clear that ankle is messing him up. Roode rams him into the apron as I don’t think they’re going to go higher up in the gears than this, which if AJ is badly hurt on his ankle is certainly understandable. AJ tries a springboard back in the ring but has no elevation at all. Off to a gutwrench (hold not suplex) by Roode which AJ gets out of quickly. Blockbuster is broken up and AJ tries a superplex. Roode heabutts him down but AJ pops up and gets that superplex this time.

This is reminiscent of Mania 14 as Shawn had to wrestle a totally different style due to his back injury. AJ hooks the fireman’s carry into the backbreaker and AJ I think botches a springboard move. Roode rolls him up and throws a foot on the rope for two. Big spinebuster gets two for Roode. The Impact Zone is weird as you can hear individual fans throughout the show. AJ grabs a suplex and possibly got a hammerlock slam in there too.

He amazes me by managing a decent 450 springboard splash but Roode rolls out of the way. AJ hitting the mat was painful looking. The Clash is broken up and there’s the crossface that AJ tapped to on Impact a few weeks back. AJ breaks out of it through head grease but can’t get the Clash. He tries the springboard forearm but it’s more like a crossbody, getting two.

Roode sneaks in a low blow but the referee gets some of it too. That gets two on AJ so Roode yells and gets small packaged for two. Styles snaps off an enziguri as my jaw somehow drops lower at his ability to do this on a bad ankle. AJ goes off on Roode, throwing in a low blow to knock him to the floor. He totally misses a suicide dive though and Styles is in trouble. Fisherman’s suplex gets two and Roode isn’t sure what to do. Styles busts out the Pele but the Clash is countered into a quick rollup with tights for the pin at 19:33.

Rating: B. The match itself wasn’t all that great but considering AJ’s injury and having to change his style to something totally new like that and getting a decent match out of it too is worth the extra praise. No one thought AJ had a chance here as everything is about Storm vs. Roode #whatever so this was just a pit stop. Impressive showing from AJ but nothing here that makes me think Roode is ready to be the top heel at all, which is his biggest weakness at this point.

Overall Rating: C-. Not their worst PPV but a lot of this just didn’t feeling interesting at all. AJ’s match is a spectacle due to his injury and it being a pretty decent match anyway. The Jeffs had an ok sequence as well as it’s hard to call it a match other than the second part. Pretty ok show but I had no desire to watch it as it felt totally thrown together at the last minute with two matches not being announced on Impact at all. Decent show, but nothing at all worth going out of your way to see.

Results
Robbie E. b Eric Young – Pin after a shot from Rob Terry
Mexican America b. Ink Inc. – Sarita pinned Toxxine after hitting her with a title belt
Austin Aries b. Kid Kash and Jesse Sorensen – Rollup to Kash
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels – Five Star Frog Splash
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson went to a double disqualification
Abyss/Mr. Anderson b. Scott Steiner/Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam to Steiner
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Eat Defeat
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Twist of Fate
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Small Package
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Crucifix
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles – Rollup with a handful of tights

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Hard Justice 2007
Date: August 12, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We’re on the final part of this three PPV series and it’s a winner take all main event with Angle vs. Joe and the TNA, IWGP, X and tag titles all on the line. Also on this show is one of the few TNA appearances of Andrew “The Punisher” Martin, who is more famous as Test. The last show I did (Genesis) was a great surprise so hopefully this is the same. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how Angle is totally awesome and made Lesnar tap out in Japan to win another world title. This is set to video of the space shuttle launching for some reason. Karen is sick of him though and says their marriage is over. Angle blames Joe for it which is the other setup for the main event.

Pacman Jones arrives. Why they thought this was a good idea eludes me to this day.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt vs. Triple X vs. Motorcity Machineguns

Triple X is Daniels/Senshi (Kaval). No one seems to care about Dutt/Lethal so far as we have dueling XXX/Guns chants. Dutt and Shelley have a kick off as we have people in police shirts on the floor. Oh they’re here for Pacman Jones. You know, because a guy that was involved in the paralysis of a part time wrestler at a strip club shooting is worth putting on PPV because it could make a few bucks right?

Ok so I think we have Dutt vs. Daniels to start and it’s off to Lethal quickly. Now let’s look at two chairs because Joe is going to have Karen Angle here later on. Dutt hits a standing moonsault for two on Shelley. This is one of those matches that is designed to be very fast paced and not have any kind of selling or storytelling in it. The Guns beat up Lethal for a bit and the fans cheer. They wouldn’t get the titles for about 3 years.

Off to Senshi as I can barely keep up with what’s going on. It’s not that it’s too fast, but with the guys coming in and out and no one ever really being in trouble, why or how am I supposed to get behind someone? The fans want Shelley. Lethal gets beaten down by XXX and this is already dragging.

Off to Shelley vs. Dutt who gets a rollup for two. And before I finish that line it’s Lethal vs. Senshi. Make that Lethal vs. Sabin vs. Daniel and a triple clothesline puts them all down. Shelley hooks an abdominal stretch on the floor for some reason so Lethal can dive onto everyone. Daniels dives on them all and it’s Sabin vs. Senshi. Now they both dive and I just want this match to end.

Dutt takes out everyone with a big moonsault and all six are down. Elix Skipper, the third member of XXX, comes in to save Daniels from Sabin. After that batch of random fighting and big spots, here’s another batch of random fighting and big spots. The Guns beat up Lethal as there’s a weak “This is Awesome” chant. Everyone breaks up a bunch of pin attempts and Senshi escapes Sliced Bread. XXX does a pretty cool double team sequence, but since it’s TNA it only gets two instead of being the big awesome finish. The actual finish: Lethal rolls up Daniels after a bunch more cool double teaming spots.

Rating: D+. This was one of the biggest chores to sit through that I’ve ever seen this side of an ROH show. The idea of these matches is to be fast paced and exciting, not the same stuff over and over again for fifteen minutes plus. It went WAY too long and it’s the same Cruiserweight/X Division stuff we’ve seen a million times.

JB goes to see Samoa Joe but finds Karen and a guy that looks a lot like Kurt, saying he’s the new man in her life.

Kaz vs. Raven

Raven had some freak show team around this time and Kaz rebelled. This is the revenge match. Raven offers Kaz a chance to return to the team but Kaz pops him. They head to the floor quickly and Seretonin (the team) gets involved but screws up, giving Kaz control early on. Raven hits the Russian legsweep into the rail spot that he often does. In the ring, Raven busts out a victory roll of all things for two.

A Million Dollar Kneelift puts Kaz on the floor. Raven beats on Kaz but Kaz fires back with punches. I don’t know what it is but I can’t get into this show at all. I think a lot of it is the lack of storylines and context for these matches and angles, but I don’t think they’re going to be interesting no matter what you do with them. Kaz takes out the other Seretonin guys but Raven cracks him with a kendo stick to the head. Kaz escapes a DDT, hits a one footed dropkick….and gets the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. Just a messy brawl that wasn’t anything to see. There were some cool spots, but Raven was just annoying Kaz here more than being a threat. This was another of those feuds that I have zero interest in but have to sit through for the purposes of writing this. That being said I wasn’t interested in this feud four years ago either.

JB goes to tell Kurt about Karen and her date and he’s not happy. Kurt blames it on menopause. Kurt: “Does this guy have any gold medals?”

We recap the Rhyno vs. Storm feud which is based on Rhyno being a recovering alcoholic and Storm pouring beer down his throat. They stole the spot from Raven vs. Punk in ROH but who cares?

Rhyno vs. James Storm

This is a bar room brawl, which means a street fight. There’s a table with a cloth on it in the ring and alcohol bottles at ringside. They start in the aisle and go into the crowd as the bell rings. Storm hits him with a trashcan as we talk about Rhyno throwing a chair into the crowd. Not that we saw it or anything but I guess it’s implied. This is one of those old ECW brawls where it’s walk walk walk, punch punch, walk some more.

After about 4 minutes they get to the bar that Storm set up at ringside. Rhyno drinks some beer (recovering alcoholic angle remember) and the fans cheer. There’s a mannequin there and Rhyno throws it around too. Rhyno drinks from a keg and throws it on Storm and here’s a toilet for no apparent reason. Is there a point to ANY of this? They haven’t been in the ring yet.

Now Rhyno drinks vodka. He sits on the toilet and everyone goes quiet. Gee I wonder why. Now there’s a ladder being brought in. I hate these alcoholic angles so I’m not happy at all here. They go into the ring finally and Rhyno is supercharged on booze I think. Jackie gets involved and James is able to send him flying over to the floor. Rhyno takes over and is now drunk or “possessed by the liquor” or something. There’s a table in the corner now but the Gore misses, giving Storm two. Storm goes off on him with a trashcan and adds a Conchairto. A superkick and beer bottle to the back of the head end this.

Rating: C-. I get the story of the match but I don’t like it. I’ve never liked these kind of stories and I never will. Rhyno would take a few weeks after this due to his relapse. Yeah that’s what they went with for a face. Nothing to see here as the match was just dull overall as it was a lot of standing around and then dominance by one guy or the other.

Ron Killings (R-Truth) rants about Pacman Jones coming to TNA.

The announcers talk about the main event to kill time.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. LAX

Just a tag match here. LAX are the good guys here. The fans chant DX rejects for some reason. I mean, they were in DX but rejects? Really? Do TNA fans really think that the HBK/HHH version counts as a major DX incarnation? And they call themselves smart fans. Wow. Kip James (Billy Gunn) looks like he belongs back in Billy and Chuck.

BG (Road Dogg) works over Homicide as we hear about the Steiners being in action later tonight against Team 3D. It’s a dream match, but at the same time the Steiners are old at this point so how dreamy is it? Kip hooks a bearhug on Homicide as I can’t see this match lasting long. Partially that’s because I looked at the match time but ignore that part for now.

The bearhug goes on for awhile as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez. I don’t get why they didn’t just make the modern version of Mexican America into LAX 2.0. I mean, it is LAX 2.0 but why not just call it that? Here’s Hernandez who cleans house and everything breaks down. Roxxi gets up on the apron to throw something in Hernandez’s eyes. A Fameasser gets the pin. Well it was more like he jumped and then Hernandez fell over but whatever.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. This was like an Impact match but we just had to have it here for some reason. Nothing to see here which is what happens when one guy holds the tag titles and is in the main event in a singles match. The Mafia didn’t mean anything at this point and the fans’ reaction to them seems to prove that.

Hector Guerrero comes out and tells the referee what happened. He listens to Hector so the match restarts and LAX gets the pin. Well sure why not. This is Hector’s return from being beaten down by…LAX. Vince Russo lives!!!

We recap Eric Young vs. Robert Roode. It’s more or less a comedy feud and we’re having a tar and feather match.

Eric says he’s going to lose like he did in high school. Kurt Angle comes up and says Karen wasn’t there. He accuses JB of dating her instead. Eric cracks up and confirms there’s another guy here with Karen.

Eric Young vs. Robert Roode

This is part of the feud that went on FOREVER and never really went anywhere at all. Well it got Traci into a bikini which was a nice thing to see. Traci gets involved here and hits Eric with a shoe. Eh she was bent over in a low cut top so no complaints there. Roode chokes away and I remember why I hated his original heel run: he was boring. I mean like 5th season of NXT boring.

He’s just a rich guy that wrestles. There’s nothing to see here and he’s not interesting at all. He’s Curt Hennig’s moveset with DiBiase’s gimmick but none of their charisma or likability. Young gets something going but gets caught in an Alabama Slam to put him back down. A middle rope kneedrop hits for two. They slug it out and both guys go down. Crucifix gets two for Eric.

Roode goes up and gets crotched as the fans are trying to get into this. Traci comes in and is launched head first into Roode’s crotch. Eric tries a double Death Valley Driver but Roode escapes. Rollup gets two for Young. Blockbuster gets two. The ending sequence is a big mess with Traci interfering, a low blow and brass knuckles. The knuckles end Young.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty big mess. Roode has some decent moves at times but man was he boring as a heel. He’s a heel again in TNA at the moment and is the world champion. It almost has to be more interesting this time but here it just didn’t do it for me. Also, can Young do anything but be goofy?

Gail Kim comes out for the save as Young gets up. Roode accidentally hits Traci and then she gets tarred and feathered. At least take her top off first dude.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Chris Harris. Rhodes had a split personality or something which resulted in Black Reign. This was REALLY stupid.

Harris says he earned his spot and didn’t steal it from Rhodes.

Black Reign vs. Chris Harris

Reign comes in from behind to jump Harris. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this new character. He beats Harris down on the floor and busts him open quickly. Rhodes throws down a referee and uses a spike thing to the head of Harris. There goes another referee and Dustin hits Shattered Dreams and a cutter. Referee #3 comes out and is thrown down also, FINALLY drawing a DQ.

Rating: N/A. I don’t use this often but it’s right here. This was a 5 minute beating, not a match. Harris didn’t get in a single punch and I have no idea what they were going for here. Rhodes as Black Reign was just stupid as everyone knew it was an attempt to be Goldust. The hardcore/monster thing was just bad because at the end of the day, it’s Dustin Rhodes. Why are we supposed to care?

The post match beatdown goes on forever.

We recap the Steiners vs. the Dudleys. Scott got injured in Puerto Rico and legitimately nearly died. This turned him face so Rick Steiner came in for some reason, setting up this dream match that would have been one if the generations we’re 10 years apart.

The Steiners say they’ll win and ECW is referenced.

The Dudleys make fun of Puerto Ricans. Scott is going back to the hospital tonight.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

Rick vs. D-Von starts us off and Rick looks BAD. Rick gets a quick powerslam and I think bites Bubba’s balls. Things break down quickly and the Steiners do their signature pose. The Dudleys start to leave and it turns into a fight on the ramp. The always annoying fans ask where their smoothie is. The Dudleys had opened a smoothie shop around this time, which every fan clearly knows about right? I mean, that couldn’t possible distract the fans right?

Scott comes in and does the push-ups on Bubba. Rick comes in and hooks a Crossface of all things on D-Von. Ray pulls Scott’s arm and the Dudley’s work over the scarred area of Scott’s back. There’s an abdominal stretch to eat up some time. Scott hits a double clothesline and it’s off to Rick who cleans a few rooms. That’s good as he needs the exercise it would seem. Scott manages the belly to belly superplex for two on D-Von. There’s the Frankensteiner but the Steiner Recliner is broken up. The Steiner Bulldog ends D-Von, who took most of the big moves in this.

Rating: C-. Yeah Scott busted out some big stuff, but for a dream match this was one of those dreams where you don’t remember it very long after you wake up. I get the idea they were going for here and the feel good moment, but did anyone want to see this match in this condition? Not really, but it could have been worse. They would do this at two more PPVs.

Angle goes to see Dr. Nash who was doing a psychiatrist thing or something at this time. Kurt cries onto the couch and looks like he’s about to have a breakdown. Nash says he’s more important than Kurt’s family. Kurt cries about being a loser and that no one loves him. This is about 30 minutes before the world title match remember. Nash tries to snap him out of it. Is there a point to this? It’s Angle vs. Joe and they have him like acting like a 13 year old girl. Nash leaves and Kurt cries some more.

Mike Tenay is in the ring and it’s Pacman Jones time. Oh get this over with. Tenay talks about how much publicity they’re getting (most of which was about how stupid this is and how Jones shouldn’t be doing this) and brings out Jones. We hear about his football stats but ignore the shooting stuff. Jones says nothing of note and sounds so bored and stupid I can’t believe it. He says he’s here to show he’s a team player.

Truth comes out to What’s Up which is still weird to hear in another company. He owns the rights to it so he can do it though so it’s legal. Just odd. Truth points out that Pacman can’t be touched while here, thereby pointing out that there is no real point to Jones being here. Truth says Jones needs to watch his back. Jones laughs and this is awful. TNA of course would give Jones a tag title in a match against Sting and Angle. This is so dumb.

We recap the six man cage match which is Team Abyss vs. Christian’s Coalition. It’s a hardcore cage match which was picked by Abyss after he won a ladder match. Team Abyss is Abyss, Sting, and wait for it…..wait for it……Test. Yes that Test, although he’s called Andrew the Punisher Martin here.

Christian says the name Doomsday Chamber of Blood sounds stupid. AJ is still a clueless idiot here.

Pacman is down in the back and bleeding. This gets a big pop from the fans.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

We recap Angle vs. Joe. The idea is Joe is X Champion and is the sole owner of the tag titles. Angle is world champion and has some Japanese title. This match is winner take all. Kurt turned into a jerk, blasting his wife and kids. His wife left him and Kurt snapped.

Joe says he’s taking the rest of what Kurt has tonight.

TNA World Title/X-Division Title/Tag Titles/IWGP World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Kurt is all messed up mentally and drops one of the belts on the way to the ring. So it’s high school sophomore Kurt here. Joe has his Samoan dancers here. Karen is nowhere to be seen at the bell. Feeling out process to start and Angle is knocked to the floor. Here are Karen and that other dude. Nothing of note so far in the opening three minutes or so.

Joe tries a sunset flip and Kurt gets his tights pulled down for a Ric Flair imitation. Karen throws champagne in Kurt’s eyes. Back in a running knee gets two for Joe. Joe uses the Facewash in the corner and Kurt is in big trouble. The American hits a German on the Samoan to put both guys down. Off to a chinlock as this isn’t much of a match. It’s certainly below what these two usually do.

Here are the rolling Germans. Joe grabs one of his own and they slug it out. Snap powerslam gets two. Kurt goes to the second rope but Joe snaps off a wicked enziguri for two. The Slam is countered so Joe slaps Angle a few times. Powerslam gets two. MuscleBuster is loaded up but Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock which is countered into the Clutch which is countered into the ankle lock again.

They speed things up and the Angle Slam gets two. The fans are finally into something on this show and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly, getting two. The moonsault misses but it would have been a headbutt at best anyway. MuscleBuster gets two. Joe grabs the Clutch again but Angle bites his fingers to break it. Off to the ankle lock which Joe counters back into the Clutch.

Angle gets his foot on the ropes and there’s the ref bump. Joe grabs the choke again and Angle taps. Ever the idiot since he’s the face here, Joe lets go of the hold since there’s no referee. Karen grabs a chair but, say it with me, IT’S A SWERVE!!!! Karen slides it to Kurt who clocks Joe with it for the pin and all the titles. Give me a break.

Rating: B. It’s good but when you have 2007 Joe vs. Angle, you’re expecting more than a Russo finish. I mean, it’s not bad but the swerve was predictable because it was exactly what you expected to happen. It was the least logical option given the storyline leading up to this so that was always going to be the ending. The first ten minutes of this were weak but the ending was a lot better, other than the swerve of course.

Overall Rating: F. Just no. I don’t care if there’s a good main event or not. This show was HORRIBLE. I haven’t been this bored and this uninterested in a show in a very long time. The Pacman Jones garbage to the SWERVE ending which takes away the last few weeks of storylines to Angle having EVERY FREAKING TITLE IN THE COMPANY was just stupid. What’s the point of any of the other matches if one guy holds every single belt? I hated this show and it ticked me off worse than any show I’ve watched in a long time.

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Genesis 2007
Date: November 11, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Continuing our trip through 2007 TNA we have Genesis. The main event is one of TNA’s favorites: a tag match with the world title on the line. There isn’t much else here other than the final of a tournament with perhaps the most complicated stipulations that have ever existed in a wrestling tournament, and when you think about it that covers A LOT of ground. Let’s get to it.

We open with the National Anthem. I don’t know if this was held on a holiday or what.

The opening video talks about a new beginning and being in a brand new world. Sting’s partner in the main event is a mystery partner which was mostly spoiled before this show.

A limo is outside.

Black Reign vs. Abyss

No DQ of course since it’s an Abyss match. Reign is Goldust and has a workshop of horrors or some jazz like that. They start brawling in the aisle with Abyss taking over to start. Into the ring and they slug it out a bit. Ok forget about that as we’re back on the floor again. Abyss breaks a piece of wood or plaster over Reign’s head. Into the crowd as I lay corrected: this isn’t No DQ. It’s a Black Reign Shop of Horrors match. How clumsy of me.

They fight up the ramp where there’s a big box standing up. Reign pulls out a key but can’t get inside. Instead he sends Abyss down the ramp and into the ring again. Reign takes over with some clotheslines and now it’s time to go hardcore. Abyss takes over and pulls out the barbed wire bat. They go up the ramp again and Abyss grabs a chokeslam to put Reign through a table off the stage.

Back to the ring and Abyss grabs a board covered in mouse traps. Did we teleport into a Japanese death match? Now Abyss puts Reign’s hands into a vice to injure the fingers. Instead Abyss grabs Reign’s rat but James Mitchell saves it from a PETA assault. The rat goes into Mitchell’s shirt but Abyss is sent into the traps….for two. There are some kendo stick shots and Reign loads up brass knuckles. He walks into a Black Hole Slam and gets pinned for his efforts though.

Rating: C-. This match had rat traps, a rat, and vices. What does this have to do with wrestling again? Another thing: how exactly can this be Reign’s specialty match if it’s never happened before? Apparently he’s not that good at it as he’s lost the only one that has ever existed. Never let it be said Russo didn’t have 1000 names for a hardcore match.

Post match Abyss opens up the box from earlier and finds the debuting Rellik. They beat Abyss down and lock him in the box. The box is shoved off the stage and that’s it. Did this whole segment really warrant the first 20 minutes of a PPV? Seriously?

Jeremy can’t find out who is in the limo even though Kurt asked him to.

We run down the card that the fans already paid for. I still don’t get that.

We recap Team 3D vs. the Guns. The idea here is that the Dudleys hate the small guys that fly around all over the place. They would go to war with it for months which resulted in very little although the matches weren’t that bad.

The Guns say this is about taking their rightful place on the list of great teams.

Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns

It’s the second brawl on the ramp to start the match tonight. The Guns take over with their speed early on and bust out some nifty double teaming stuff. The Dudleys start to walk off and then go after the announcers for a bit. Ok back to the match with Bubba vs. Sabin in the first official pairing of the match. A slick hurricanrana sends Ray into Shelley and Ray is frustrated. Off to D-Von who gets two off a side slam/legdrop combo.

Sabin literally dives into a tag to Shelley who fires off some strikes to take over. Ray breaks up some double teaming and D-Von takes over on Alex for a bit. Some chinlocking is broken up by an enziguri but he can’t make the tag. Ray comes in and the guy is pretty awesome as an evil jerk. Ray challenges D-Von to see who can hit Shelley harder. Now that’s just mean.

Back to that chinlock which D-Von could at least flex on. Shelley gets a big old kick in and both guys are down. There’s your hot tag and Sabin cleans at least the basement and ground floor. Tornado DDT gets two on D-Von. As the Guns double team D-Von, Ray shouts in encouragement. “Come on D-Von! Come on! OH MY GOD!” That last part was when the Guns hit a dropkick to send him to the floor.

This actually is pretty solid stuff, mainly as the Guns are very exciting to watch. A rana sets up a frog splash for two. Ray comes back in and kills both of them with a double clothesline. Hey Alex, What’s Up? It’s Table Time and I don’t get why. Do they think they’ll get away with it? Even the Dudleys aren’t that stupid. The Guns take over again and the High Low gets two. Ray grabs his belt and whips Sabin with it a little.

Dudleyville Device gets two. A table is set up in the corner but Sabin walks up the table and backflips to the ring (think Bryan in the corner but much faster and impressive looking). D-Von is sent through the table but that isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. The Guns hit their series of kicks to Ray and we’re done.

Rating: B. Entertaining match here, odd rule choices aside. This was power vs. speed and you really don’t need to do much more than that most of the time. The matches are almost always fun and this was exactly that. This would lead into a months long feud which eventually incorporated Johnny Devine and Jay Lethal over the X-Title. It would also result in a fish market street fight but we’ve covered that before.

Angle yells at JB for not being able to find out who is in the limo. Angle is paranoid and accuses Nash, his partner later on, of being in on this. Nash chokes him against the wall and says they can fight after they get rid of Sting and the mystery partner.

We recap the Knockout Title match. Basically, Kim won the first title at BFG and is in a four way for her first title defense.

Knockout Title: Angel Williams vs. Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Roxxi Laveux

Williams is Angelina Love before she meant anything other than a good looking blonde. She doesn’t have those ugly arm tattoos either. This might be ODB’s debut match. Actually she was at BFG. Good enough. Gail says she isn’t losing the title after a month. The New Age Outlaws (Voodoo Kin Mafia here) are at ringside for Roxxi. Gail fights off all three of them to start and does it pretty easily. One of the Outlaws tries to interfere and they’re out of here.

Now Roxxi is hypnotizing the referee. Gail is taken down on the floor as Love is beaten down. We get the required spanking as my eyes roll. Roxxi and ODB have something like a dance off and ODB rams Roxxi’s head into her crotch. A bicycle kick by Love takes Roxxi down and thank goodness Gail is back. There’s a cross body to the floor to take out Roxxi. ODB beats on Angelina a bit but the blonde gets a pretty sweet counter into a DDT for two.

The Tower of Doom puts out every non-champion. Scratch that idea as Gail hits a missile dropkick to Roxxi and everyone is down. Now they slug it out and I think we’re wrapping things up. A dropkick puts Roxxi down and a middle rope leg lariat gets two. Roxxi spits something in ODB’s eyes and gets speared down. Gail hits a Regal Cutter on ODB to retain.

Rating: C-. This was as plain and basic of a four way match as you could ask for. That being said it’s pretty entertaining and things worked out fairly well here to leg Kim have her first title defense. That being said, any match where we can look at Kim in tiny white shorts for about ten minutes makes it good to me.

Post match Kong comes out to stare down Kim, setting up their eventual feud.

Karen pushes her way into the limo but finds Eric Young and James Storm trying to have a drinking contest. Storm as a comedy character isn’t bad.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

They’re partners who are having a face vs. face match. Lethal is champion and is dating So Cal Val here. Scratch that as they haven’t hooked up yet. Dutt and Jay hug pre-match but in a manly way. Things start fast and it’s a stalemate. They botch something but try to turn it into a backslide by Jay. They reverse some pinfalls and Sonjay slaps him to tense things up a bit.

There’s a harder slap and Lethal fires back. Now he offers a hug as we’re playing some mind games. Dutt throws him to the floor and there’s a HUGE flip dive by Sonjay. There’s something cool about just whipping one of those out. The fans are split now. Dutt takes over and hits a double knee to the chest for two. Lethal tries to get something going but jumps into a dropkick for two.

Dutt seems to be questioning his mid-match heel turn and the delay lets Lethal get a middle rope leg lariat to put both of them down. Moonsault press gets two for the champion. Springboard missile dropkick sends Dutt to the floor and there’s a suicide dive as Lethal is in control. Back inside they speed things up and exchange some counters until Jay gets in a solid kick for two.

Dutt goes up for a moonsault but Jay rolls away. Dutt doesn’t miss a beat and lands on his feet where he hits a standing moonsault for two. Lethal shoves him off so Dutt hits a running standing shooting star press for two. The fans say that was awesome and for once they’re right. Dutt plays possum and grabs a cutter but doesn’t let go and rolls back into a his camel clutch finisher. Lethal grabs the rope quickly as this has to be close to finished. Lethal is all ticked off and fires off punches in the corner but charges into a pendulum kick. Dutt tries to get too fancy and walks into the Lethal Combination. The big elbow retains the title.

Rating: B. Where did this come from??? This was a very fun match with them cranking it up time after time. I can see why this feud went on forever as they kept trying to hit this level again or even top it. This is what the smaller guys are all about: having a fast paced match to entertain the crowd and it worked very well here. Fun match.

They hug post match. Val is called into the ring and Dutt throws his flowers around. Cue Team 3D for the big heel beatdown and Dutt takes a big 3D. Here’s one for Lethal as well. Ray says the Guns cheated so they’re taking the title belt hostage.

Nash says the mystery partner is not Scott Hall. Nash leaves and we hear Storm and Young having the drinking contest again. Young stays in it and Storm is ticked off. More in 20 minutes.

Tag Titles: AJ Styles/Tomko vs. Steiner Brothers

Yes, those Steiner Brothers. In 2007. They’re faces here and AJ set this up by challenging Scott to a takedown contest. Rick is in a Steiner Brothers t-shirt and workout pants. I think that’s better for everyone. Scott vs. AJ starts us off and AJ’s luck isn’t very good here. Scott beats AJ like he stole something but Tomko’s distraction lets AJ hit a jumping enziguri (not the Pele) and a dive over the top to take over.

Steiner grabs the spinning belly to belly and it’s off to Rick vs. Tomko. At least the workout pants have bulldogs on them. A Death Valley Driver puts Tomko down but the champs take over and make him the face in peril. And scratch that as a Steiner Line brings in Scott. Tomko grabs a powerbomb and AJ adds a splash for two. Scott has a chain hanging from his beard. That can’t be a good idea.

Rick comes in off the not very hot tag and cleans house on the champions. The Steiners load up the Steiner Bulldog to AJ and I shudder with Rick on top for a big move. It actually doesn’t kill Styles but Tomko has to make the save anyway. Scott and Tomko have a brawl on the floor as Rick powerbombs AJ. The referee is down on the floor thanks to the brawl so Rick’s cover doesn’t matter. Somehow a chair gets into the ring and Styles kicks Rick low and a chair shot ends this.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this was. The Steiners hadn’t meant anything in about 12 years at this point but it’s the TNA attitude of once a draw, always a draw. This was nothing to see at all and the match was pretty weak, especially with the champs having to cheat to win. They would hold the titles for a then record 6 months.

We recap Joe vs. Roode. Roode jumped Joe to save Christian for no apparent reason so Joe knocked Roode out of the Fight for the Right Tournament. Miss Brooks cost Roode….something so he yelled at her even more. This gets the music video treatment.

Roode says he isn’t afraid of Joe. Ms. Brooks wants to know who Roode’s stalker fan is.

Robert Roode vs. Samoa Joe

Joe gets the full Samoan dancers entrance. Roode runs away immediately but doesn’t get far. Joe runs quickly for a fat boy. We get into the usual stuff and Joe fires off the suicide elbow to the floor. Roode is sat in a chair as the fans call for the Ole Kick. The kick is caught and Roode slams the foot into the chair instead as he takes over. The brawl goes both ways for a bit until Joe sends him into the steps and into the ring we go.

The Samoan chops on Roode’s chest while he’s sat on the ropes but Roode snaps off a Blockbuster for two. Roode chokes away but HE HAS TIL FIVE! There’s a Hennig neck snap and Roode slaps him around a little bit. A clothesline gets two. Time for a long chinlock as this feels like one of those matches that gets way too much time. Of course it could be just that Roode is dull in the ring but who knows?

Now it’s a sleeper as the time waster of choice. Roode is sent to the apron for a bit and jumps back into a cutter in a pretty cool looking counter. Joe takes over with his running strikes….and Miss Brooks is out cold. This was a “legit” fainting but after it was called legit, reports came out that said Russo told her to do it and didn’t tell anyone else.

Joe hits a snap powerslam for two, followed by the powerbomb-Boston crab-STF sequence. Roode escapes the Clutch and manages to sneak in a low blow as well. There’s the release Rock Bottom but Roode hits the northern lariat for two. Roode was in that bad spot a heel gets into at times where he didn’t have a solid enough finisher so he’ll try whatever he can, like that piledriver which gets two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered though and a MuscleBuster ends this clean.

Rating: C. Like I said earlier, the problem here is that the match ran too long. It wasn’t bad but Roode wasn’t worth watching at all around this point and it was pretty clear that was the case. Joe would move on to a long feud with Angle where he would eventually win the title while Roode would eventually feud with Sting’s mystery partner.

Kurt is worried about the main event while Karen says chill. They get into a huge argument and leave. They go out to the limo as Karen says chill. Kurt goes after the security guards but Sting comes in to beat him back.

We recap the Fight for the Right Tournament. Oh boy explaining the Fight for the Right Tournament. This is like the teenage wet dream of a young Vince Russo that adult Vince Russo would smile at and say “if only…if only.” Then imagine if that actually happened. There were only two. Here’s the format for the second year (this one) which is actually less insane.

This is where the legendarily bad reverse battle royal began. Well, it began in the 2006 version but it was in Fight for the Right. So you have 16 people start on the floor. The first 8 people that can get into the ring advance to part two. The other 8 are eliminated. The other 8 will be placed into a single elimination tournament.

The seeds for that tournament (a tournament inside of a tournament remember) will be determined by the order of elimination (first out is the 8 seed, second is the 7 seed, winner is the 1 seed etc). Since it’s TNA, the #1 seed (Eric Young) lost. There was a first round draw so two people never involved (Christian and Joe) were inserted into a one-on-one match because a bye just couldn’t happen.

Junior Fatu (Rikishi) won in the first round but was also injured so Chris Harris somehow took his place. The finals were Christian vs. Kaz and it took place on Impact. However there was interference so the solution: HAVE THE FINAL AGAIN! This time it’s a ladder match because a gimmick match on PPV wasn’t in the original plans or something.

Just for fun, here’s the design of the original (2006) tournament which thankfully was all on TV.

This one also started with the reverse battle royal, because a regular one, as in a match that has gone on for years, wasn’t good enough for Old Vinny Ru. This time you had 18 people start and the first seven in had a regular battle royal. Once we got down to two people, they had a regular match. The winner of that (Abyss) advanced to a triple threat which served as the finals.

The man who lost the one on one match (Lance Hoyt) was the #1 seed (lost in the first round) in a six man tournament. There were three singles matches (one was somehow for the X-Division Title which AJ won) and the winners went on to a triple threat final of the tournament. The winner of that tournament went on to face Abyss in the final of the tournament (not the tournament within a tournament mind you. The tournament that the tournament inside the tournament is inside of) which Abyss won (he also won the title from Sting).

Got all that?

Christian says Kaz isn’t going to use him as a stepping stone. He tells AJ and Tomko to stay in the back.

Christian vs. Kaz

Winner gets a shot at the champion at some point in the future. Remember that it’s a ladder match. Kaz hammers away with some kicks and there’s the first ladder. Christian picks it up so Kaz hits a spinning dive over the top onto said ladder which hurts him more than the Canadian. Christian is bleeding right around the eye. Here’s ladder junior and it’s bridged between the ring and the barricade.

Kaz gets laid out on it and Christian goes up top. He drops a frog splash on Kaz, but the ladder is all like IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? THAT AIN’T GONNA BREAK ME BOY! That eye of Christian looks bad. Kaz moves out of the way and spins Christian into the ladder in the corner. He sandwiches Christian behind a ladder in the corner but on a charge Christian PELTS the ladder at Kaz, sending him down. The crowd is already way into this.

Christian does a few more painful things to Kaz but his attempt at the contract doesn’t work. Kaz gets in a nice looking shot as he swings the ladder like a bat. They both go up ladders and Christian manages to hit a reverse DDT off the top. Kaz gets up again and puts Christian on the ladder with a backdrop and then the spinning legdrop that he uses. The fans think it’s awesome and I can’t really disagree.

Kaz suplexes the ladder onto Christian and then goes up for the scary spot of the matc. He climbs to the very top of the ladder and drops a leg on Christian onto the ladder, but the middle part moves so Kaz’s leg hits the ladder square on. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Christian goes up so Kaz hits a springboard dropkick into the ladder which knocks the ladder into the ropes, knocking the cameraman off the apron.

AJ and Tomko come out but Christian calls them off. Both guys go up the ladder but it topples over. Christian goes flying down to the floor where he lands on the tag champions. The look on his face is great as it says “I just want to go home and have a grilled cheese.” Kaz was able to get his foot onto the rope to stop the fall and shove himself back up. He pulls down the contract to win it.

Rating: A-. Now THIS was fun. This is the third time tonight that the X-Division guys have been allowed to go out there and have fun and it’s the third very good match they’ve had. What else can you ask for other than that? Great match here with both guys beating each other up and taking some HARD shots.

Back to the drinking contest. JB is told both guys are drunk and he walks in on them. For some reason they both have their shirts off so JB gets a drink as well. They keep trying to outdrink each other but settle with the first man out the door wins. They get up and James passes out, making Young World Drinking Champion.

We recap the main event. Nash helped Angle get the title by beating Sting but wouldn’t help him after that. Sting has a mystery partner for the tag match which is for the world title. I’m not sure how that works but I don’t think TNA did either.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle/Kevin Nash vs. Sting/???

First person to get a fall wins, making it more or less a fatal fourway or four corners match. The mystery partner is the debuting Booker T which was spoiled by the time it happened. They had a graphic with various clues (they were trying to do their own SAVE US thing) but it said Huffman which gave things away. One day someone will have to explain to me how you can be returning to the ring after months off (Nash) or debut like Booker and be in a title match.

Sting vs. Angle gets us going and Sting takes over with some speed stuff. Well, speed for a guy in his late 40s. The fans chant “tag in Booker”. Instead it’s off to Nash and the fans still want Booker. It looks like we’re saving him for the big hot tag which isn’t a horrible idea. Or not as when I flip back to the video player Booker is legal. Booker takes over on Kurt with a side slam for two.

Nash comes back in and hooks a side slam for two on Booker. Booker fires off a spin kick and brings back Sting who goes nuts on everyone. Everything breaks down and Kurt hits a snap German on Sting. We’re running through the time in this match quickly running down. Off to a rest hold but they get up and Sting counters the Angle Slam into a DDT to put them both down again.

There’s the moderately warm tag to Booker and he beats down the heels. Spinarooni is debuted in TNA but a Book End only gets two. Booker totally messes up a spin kick on Nash for two. It was more or less a back shot to Nash. A Jackknife puts down Booker but Sting grabs the Death Drop on Nash. Here’s AJ who is sent right back out but Tomko takes out Sting. It’s implied that Karen brought them in. Sharmell, Booker’s wife, debuts and gets in a fight with Karen. Nash takes forever to load up a Jackknife on Sting so Kurt hits Nash with the belt and pins Sting after an Angle Slam to retain.

Rating: C. We’ve seen this a dozen times before which is what’s holding this back. It’s not a bad match or anything but how many times do you remember hearing about something like this? Booker’s debut was cool but it was pretty flat after the initial pop. The turn by the tag champs wasn’t bad either.

Overall Rating: B. With three very good (one great) matches and nothing being totally bad, you’ve got a pretty awesome show here. How many times do you remember a 9 match card having three very good matches on it? It’s very rare and this was a pretty shocking surprise. Good show and actually worth checking out, but you may want to cut it off before the main event as it’s pretty weak by comparison.

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Turning Point 2007
Date: December 2, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to more TNA tonight and the final show of 2007. This is the show with the pretty well known Joe rant against TNA because Scott Hall no-showed the event. The replacement winds up being Eric Young, back when he was still pretty lame. Other than that, there isn’t anything of note here as the most important stuff is coming up in the next year. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Angle Alliance (Angle, Styles and Tomko) in the back with AJ freaking out. Tonight it’s them against Joe and the Outsiders. AJ wants Christian to join them and Angle says he’ll go and do it himself.

The opening video has a Christmas sound to it and talks about a massacre coming. There’s another Abyss hardcore match tonight. Oh the uniqueness.

Team 3D/Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal/Motor City Machine Guns

This is a tables match and only one guy has to go through. This was part of the Dudleys hate small people story. Lethal is X Champion and Macho here, although Devine has stolen the belt itself which would go on for awhile. Ray goes on a pre-match rant against the fans, telling them how they all suck. They have to tag so Shelley vs. Devine gets us going. The Guns take turns beating on Devine and Ray is all ticked off.

Off to D-Von vs. Sabin who looks YOUNG. Lethal comes in and walks into a powerslam to put him back down. Both teams work on the arm to try to get some psychology in there but it’s just filling in time before we get to the wild stuff. Lethal tries to speed things up but walks into a one arm Rock Bottom which plants him. The X guys realize they’re not going to be able to hang in a tag match so they speed things up and take it to the floor with a trio of dives.

The Dudleys grab a table and slide it through the ring so far that it hits Lethal on the other side. The Guns get Devine alone in the ring and it’s time for a beating. You can tell they’re a bit winded (all of them that is) as things slow way down once the Dudleys take over. Lethal avoids a charge from Ray and Ray goes crashing through the table but it wasn’t an offensive move so it doesn’t count.

They exchange spots with the table until Devine tries to dive over the top and go through Shelley but Alex moves and it’s a huge crash which looked awesome. Ray does the move the table instead of breaking up the move so that your partner kind of gets screwed spot. 3D is countered and Lethal accidentally takes down the referee. The Guns bust out a pair of dives which the camera mostly misses. That’s been a big issue so far tonight.

Devine brings in a kendo stick but Lethal takes it and gets in a single shot before putting him on the table. That’s not exactly a big revenge move but whatever. Lethal goes up and drops the elbow through the table but the referee is down. The Dudleys come in and clock everyone with the title belt and put Devine on top to make the now awake referee think that Devine got the win, which he and the Dudleys get now.

Rating: C. Pretty by the book stuff here but the thing holding this back was that it ran fifteen minutes. The problem with that is that these matches are designed to be flashy and fun and running that long made the match go way too long. Cut this down by five minutes and it’s a much better match. Also get a new finish because that one has been done far too many times.

Nash says Hall will be here and that the only reason Nash joined Angle earlier was because Angle had a hot wife. Joe cuts him off and says when his partner gets here, let him know.

Roxxi Leveaux/ODB vs. Velvet-Love Entertainment

Velvet-Love is of course the Beautiful People and this is their debut match as a team. They’re nice here. Well I think they are at least. Velvet looks totally different here and not in a good way. She’s still hot but nothing compared to what she would become. Velvet vs. Roxxi starts us off but Velvet is scared so here’s Angelina instead. ODB comes in and spanks her so Velvet rides her around. We’re in a comedy match as ODB wants the referee to spank her.

Roxxi beats on Velvet for a bit and it’s off to ODB again. She stands on Velvet’s crotch and this match needs to end quickly. Now we get a series of spots based around ODB’s crotch. Sky escapes and it’s the not as hot as my partner tag to Love. Everything breaks down and a combination bicycle kick/Russian legsweep beats Roxxi.

Rating: F. Velvet looks a lot less hot with long hair and with a lack of makeup. On top of that, this was a “comedy” match but it wasn’t funny. Don’t you love it when that’s what winds up happening in these things? I still don’t get the appeal of ODB at all, but she keeps getting signed for some reason along with Jackie.

Jeremy catches up with Angle in the back. Kurt is going to Christian’s dressing room, presumably to try to get him to join up. Jeremy says Kurt needs to calm down a bit and Kurt implies Jeremy is sleeping with Karen and goes in to see Christian anyway. Kurt proposes an alliance and Christian is interested, but he wants to be in charge which Angle isn’t cool with. The offer is declined. Angle leaves and Christian gives his partner, Robert Roode, a mini pep talk before he leaves. Ms. Brooks gets in his face and domestic violence is implied.

We recap Storm vs. Young and the Drinking Championship. Young won it somehow which set up the following match.

Storm is mad because he can’t find beer. Jackie says none until after the match.

James Storm vs. Eric Young

Just a regular match here. Young comes in through the crowd to jump Storm and takes over with right hands. Oh and Storm beat Young up really badly on Impact to set this up. They fight on the floor and Jackie gets knocked out thank goodness. Young hammers away but misses a charge into the post. Storm is messed up because he can’t have any beer. He works on the arm on the floor for a bit and we head back into the ring.

Young is bleeding from the elbow. Storm kicks him in the head and goes up for a cross body, only for Young to roll through it for two. Back to the arm as the obvious conclusion becomes obvious: Eric Young as just Eric Young is really boring. There’s the Eye of the Storm but Storm goes up to the corner to chill for a bit instead of covering. The delayed version gets two.

Off to a pretty weak Fujiwara Armbar which goes on twice, both times for awhile. Young makes his one armed comeback and goes up for a top rope elbow, getting two. Storm tries a reverse tornado DDT but Young escapes into a northern lights suplex for two. Enziguri sets up a Backstabber for two for Storm. Superkick misses and Young grabs a powerslam for two. Jackie tries the beer spit but hits Storm by mistake. After some beer related hijinks, Young gets a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a boring match here which was pretty typical for matches in the midcard for TNA around this point. Nothing to see as Young vs. Storm was based around the beer thing and then in the end that wound up playing a pretty worthless role. Again, this went too long (twelve minutes) and it hurt things a lot.

The announcers talk a bit and Hall still isn’t here. They run down the rest of the card.

LAX says they’ll win Feast or Fired and aren’t worried about consequences about beating up Christy Hemme on Impact recently.

Feast or Fired

This is TNA’s version of Money in the Bank. There are four cases: one has a world title match, one a tag, one an X Title and one is a pink slip. We have Scott Steiner, Senshi, BG James, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Lance Hoyt, Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, LAX, Kip James, Jimmy Rave, Chris Harris and Sonjay Dutt. This is the first match ever in this series for lack of a better term.

You have to have the case in your hands and your feet on the floor to officially win this. It’s a big mess of a match to begin with because you have everyone running around all at once with no real idea of a flow or story whatsoever. The fans like LAX more than anyone else. We’re not going to find out who has what case until Impact. Great. Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana to the floor to take out Daniels.

Petey Williams gets a case. Harris is chilling on the floor because he doesn’t want to get fired. That’s kind of smart actually. BG James has hurt his knee and is being taken out on a stretcher. Kip has a case almost off the hook but can’t get out of the ring. Kip throws it over the top to BG who officially has the case now. Harris keeps going over to the announce table and yells at the announcers.

Hernandez tosses Senshi up to the corner where he’s able to grab on and get the third case in a pretty cool looking moment. LAX goes after Rave but here’s Christy for the save. The LAX chick comes in to take her out. Shark Boy clears out the ring so here’s Harris to beat him down a bit. Sharky, ever the scholar, accepts Harris’ offer of help, only to get caught in an electric chair. Harris has a clear shot but doesn’t want it out of fear.

SuperMex throws Dutt up and over the top by the sides of his head. He really is scary strong. Kip, clad in pink, goes up but gets caught by Scott Steiner again. Daniels comes in for the save but Hernandez stops him from getting a case. Actually Daniels gets one but Hernandez knocks it out of his hands. Steiner comes in again and steals the case to end things.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess as always but the stealing of the cases was kind of a nice touch. These matches never really worked all that well but they were trying and they did the only things you can really do in them. The Hernandez spots were cool too but it’s not like this is anything we haven’t seen a bunch of times before.

The cases would be revealed as Scott with an X Title shot, Petey with the world title shot, BG with the tag and Senshi had the fired one, but he would lose the case to Daniels who was fired instead.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Kong. The idea is that Kim is the champion who has beaten everyone in her reign but is running into Kong who is unlike anyone she’s ever faced before.

Gail says she’s ready to go through whatever it takes to keep the title.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

This is the only title match tonight. Gail’s looks are hit and miss for me. She looks good in white though. Kong jumps her during the entrance which is smart for a change. When the other chick is posing on the apron why wouldn’t you jump them? They start fighting on the floor and Kim’s strategy seems to be “get beaten up really badly and hold on as long as I can without dying.”

Kong misses a charge and hits the post. Kim goes straight for the arm and Kong can barely fight her off. We get a bell out of nowhere. Oh that was all pre-match. Kong throws on a sleeper and then spins Kim around in it. That can’t feel good. Kong takes over with power and hooks a camel clutch, making Kim’s top come up. No complaints there.

It’s all Kong here with the power game. As Shawn said in the Mania 13 main event, why mess with what brought you to the game? A three point stance into a splash in the corner crushes Kim. A torture rack is broken up and Kim is trying to get some separation. She goes back to the arm and has Kong in some trouble. You can’t work on fat though and that’s what Kong uses to put her down again. Awesome Bomb is countered as is the spinning backfist.

A middle rope dropkick has Kong staggered. A second one puts Gail down and the place ERUPTS. A senton backsplash gets two. Kong gets up and fires off the spinning backfist to put Kim down again. She chokes away in the corner and shoves the referee down for the LAME disqualification to keep the title on Kim.

Rating: B-. DANG that finish sucked the life out of that match. These two have some sweet chemistry together and it was working out there, until they screwed it up with the DQ ending. The crowd was WAY into this though and the idea of David vs. Goliath is always going to work, which it did here. Even I was getting into this one.

Post match Kong beats up everyone in sight. Velvet comes out to try to help but that goes about as well as you would expect. During the whole thing they keep ringing the freaking bell which gets old after about two rings. Angelina comes in with a chair. She’s nice about it though, holding it in front of her face so that Kong can hit it. There’s an Awesome Bomb (mostly) onto the chair on Kim. ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING BELL!!!

AJ freaks out on Angle for not getting Christian on their side tonight. He threatens to walk out because he can’t function without Christian. Kurt: “What are you, fruity or something?” Karen says shut up and says she can get Joe to turn on the Outsiders. Tomko likes the plan and Kurt says he’ll go do it.

We recap the match of 1000 thumbtacks. Abyss is fighting Rellik and Black Reign (Goldust) in an ultra violent match. Rhyno was supposed to be his partner but he’s hurt so we have a mystery partner.

Black Reign and Rellik are in the basement and Goldust licks his pet rat. He wants Raven to love him. Moving on.

Abyss/??? vs. Black Reign/Rellik

Oh so apparently the partner was known and it’s Raven. This is the Match of Ten Thousand Tacks. There are tacks everywhere and there’s a bag of them above the ring on a pole. Wave to Russo everyone! Tenay continues to treat the fans like idiots by reminding them that Rellik is Killer spelled backwards, thereby taking away the monster aspect and making him sound like a 13 year old trying to be clever on AIM.

Everyone but Raven heads to the floor so Raven jumps over the top to take everyone out at once. Abyss and Reign go up into the crowd as Raven uses his Russian legsweep to send Rellik into the barricade twice. Back at ringside, Abyss sets up a table with tacks on top of it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to talk about in this match as it’s the same match Abyss did every week in this period.

Abyss gets his hand on whatever weapon Reign usually uses which has a sharp blade on it. That busts Reign open and everyone is back inside now. Abyss is busted via something. It was a chair shot. Good enough. Rellik slides in a bed of tacks and drives a handful of them into Raven’s mouth. Things slow way down as they’re filling in time for the finish now. Rellik goes for the bag of tacks above the ring but gets powerbombed off by Raven.

Raven Effect gets two on Reign. Now Bird Man is bleeding from the mouth. Oh man Abyss is COVERED in blood. We’re just waiting on the big spot to end this. Reign hits everyone with a kendo stick but as he’s choking Raven he gets flipped off the corner and into a table covered in tacks. Raven misses an elbow through a table to Rellik who gets the bag of tacks off the pole. Abyss goes for a chokeslam to Rellik but gets something spit into his eyes. There’s a Black Hole Slam into them instead and we’re done.

Rating: C+. It’s a big brawl with lots of blood which is what most of the rating is for. The problem with Abyss is he always had to top what he did before, which became a problem as he had too much stuff to do. Not a bad hardcore match but the tacks spot had been done so many times before that it’s hard to get fired up for them again.

Angle goes to talk to Joe, saying they’re on the same wavelength. He talks about how Hall and Nash are using Joe. It’s a big snow job here but Kurt leaves so Joe can think about it.

We recap Cage/Roode vs. Kaz/Booker. This is more about Booker vs. Roode which is Booker’s first feud in the company. Kaz beat Christian in a tournament final so there’s the other half of the match.

Booker says he’s here to become world champion but also to face the best in the world.

Christian Cage/Robert Roode vs. Kaz/Booker T

Booker vs. Christian to start us off and it’s off to Kaz very quickly. A jumping back elbow takes Kaz down but the non-Canadian takes over, getting a kick for two. Off to Booker vs. Roode which would be one of the least interesting feuds that I can remember in a long time. Off to an armbar by Booker to Roode. The fans are split here as we look at the yet to be named Peyton Banks (get it?) who was stalking Roode at this time.

Off to Kaz who gets two on Christian. Kaz beats up both heels as Ms. Brooks (Kaz’s real life wife) cheers. A big plancha takes out both heels as this is one sided so far. Booker is pretty useless here as double teaming takes down Kaz. Roode hooks a chinlock to fill in some time. We look at the stalker fan again and make it a third time. Kaz speeds things up and Roode just can’t keep up with him.

He tries a springboard something but jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Kaz fights out of the corner and Christian’s head goes into Roode’s crotch. Roode recovers from the pain and breaks up a hot tag to Booker, only to walk into a DDT/neckbreaker combo from Kaz which takes out both him and Christian.

Booker comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, getting two on Christian via a spinebuster. Christian loads up a superplex which fails. Booker hits a missile dropkick and gets two off the Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner. The side kick misses but here’s Kaz again. Roode launches him to the floor but Booker takes out the Canadians with ease. Spinarooni sets up the Axe Kick but Roode breaks it up. Bobby accidentally clocks Christian with a chair and the Axe Kick finishes this technically clean.

Rating: C. Eh this wasn’t great but it was a way to let Booker get a win on PPV. Yep, this was about pushing Booker because he wasn’t a big enough star on his own yet so we so let’s put him over two midcard heels on PPV. Kaz didn’t do much here and the match wasn’t incredibly interesting either way. Just kind of there.

Christian attacks Roode post match. AJ runs out to break it up for no apparent reason.

In the back, Joe is going off on Nash about Hall not showing up. This was legit and we’re approaching the big moment on this show. Joe says he’ll be out there tonight but not alone.

We recap the main event, which is all about the reuniting of the Outsiders to fight the Angle Alliance. Amazingly enough, the feud is about old vs. new. I’m shocked too.

Angle Alliance vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash/???

The match isn’t going to start for a bit. The Alliance is Tomko/AJ (Tag champions) and of course Angle (world champion). AJ as a heel just isn’t working at all. It never did and it never will. He’s a clueless putz here too so that isn’t helping anything. Karen has some sweet legs. Joe comes out last and grabs the mic for the rant heard around the Impact Zone.

He talks about how he was told to come out here because the fans love him and they’ll listen to him. Scott Hall no showed this event but he’s not going to be here in a surprise or something like that. This got Joe thinking: he could walk out here and have a handicap match, but TNA just gave him a live mic on a PPV. Therefore, he has a few things to say.

There are two types of people in TNA: the diehards who do whatever it takes to entertain the fans every night, and Superstars who come in and do whatever they like. The Superstars screw the wrestlers and the fans who paid to see them, no matter how old they are. TNA is about the Guns, TNA is about Jay Lethal, TNA is about Samoa Joe, TNA is about hard working young guys who want to change wrestling. TNA is about guys doing whatever it takes to entertain the fans while others come in and pad their pensions.

Joe talks to someone in the crowd (presumably Dixie) saying go ahead and fire me. He went to the back and said who wants to be in a fight tonight. The X Division jumped up and said give me the shot. One guy though stood out to him and that is his partner tonight: Eric Young. This was a weird pick and according to some reports I’ve read, Joe’s immediate answer was Homicide, but since LAX were heels at this point that got shot down. At least that’s a valid reason.

Ok so now it’s time for the match. AJ vs. Joe gets us going here. Joe hooks a sunset flip but rolls AJ to the side around the ring (that has a name but I can’t think of it) and chops away. Joe tags in Eric who just doesn’t fit here as he’s a comedy character. This didn’t result in a major push for him either. Young comes in to fight Angle and he’s just Eric Young. That’s the problem here: there’s nothing significant about him but he’s just kind of there.

Off to Nash vs. Tomko and the one with hair takes him down with his usual big strikes. Young gets a Thesz Press on Styles, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Angle grabs Eric’s arm and pulls it across the ropes to try to give the match a story. AJ tries a superplex but gets caught in a gordbuster off the top. Double tag brings in Nash and Angle but everything breaks down quickly.

Eric’s dive is caught by the tag champs so Joe dives onto all three of them to take them out. Ankle lock to Nash and Joe smiles. He eventually breaks it up with a superkick and tags himself in to beat on Tomko. Powerslam gets two. There’s a Jackknife to Angle as the parade of finishers begins. AJ hits the forearm on Nash and double teaming abounds. The MuscleBuster ends Tomko.

Rating: D. What a mess this was, and somehow having Hall in there would have made it even worse. Young had no point of being in there and it was almost a shoot with everyone being thrown off by Joe’s promo. The match was going to be bad no matter what, but this was really weak and a horrible PPV main event.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty weak overall with nothing interesting or even that good on the whole card. The Knockouts match was good, but the rest is just so lackluster and boring that it took me about 4 days to get through this show. This was a really weak period for the company and this was a great example of why. The Outsiders thing was horrible and really sums up a lot of the problems with former big names like that. Bad show.

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Bound For Glory 2011
Date: October 16, 2011
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the major show of the year for TNA and I can’t say I’m as excited about it as I was for last year’s. It should be good though as we have two major main events. Now that’s part of the problem: one of them is Sting vs. Hogan. They couldn’t have a good match 14 years ago so what are you expecting from them here? Other than that the rest of the show looks pretty solid. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about exactly what you would expect: a highlight package with everything leading up to the double main event.

The dark match was the tag title match with Mexican America retaining. Well at least the title didn’t change hands on a dark match. To be fair it was streamed free on the website so anyone could see it.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

I’m not sure if I’d have gone with a rematch for Kendrick so soon after Aries too the title from him. They have the garage door style lifting wall for the guys to come through. The fans are way behind Aries here. The crowd looks good here. They fight over a wristlock to start as we get a good feel for the crowd here with the loud Austin Aries chant. Tazz talks about how this crowd isn’t like most and that’s an understatement.

Things speed up a bit as they hit the mat. Aries goes to the floor so Kendrick is like PORKCHOP and dives onto him in a huge spot. Back in Kendrick gets caught in an STO and Aries loads up the Pendulum Elbow which blows the roof off the place. Kendrick counters and hammers away but the fans are all over Brian since this is the ultimate smark town. This could become a problem tonight.

They try what looks to be a rollup but Kendrick falls to the floor. Aries hits a HUGE suicide dive to fire the crowd up even more if that’s possible. Back in Aries tries the brainbuster but Kendrick knees his way out of it. They go up on the ropes but Aries talks to the crowd too much and gets caught in a top rope Sliced Bread for two as Aries grabs the ropes. They head to the apron and Kendrick tries it out there again but gets dropped onto the apron and then the floor. That and the brainbuster in the ring gives Aries the clean pin at 10:27.

Rating: B-. Can’t complain much here band this was what I was expecting for the opener. You can’t ask for much more than a cruiserweight match to start things off, but I’m hoping the show stays hot throughout the rest of the match. The right idea is to have things like this for later on in the show when you need to fire the crowd back up, but in Philly I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Keep that in mind: all rules about crowds are thrown out the window tonight.

The Knockouts are with some kids in the back and Karen comes in and she’s not happy. Oh ok they’re Kurt’s kids. The kids leave and Karen freaks out as always. Karen is refereeing the Knockouts match tonight. That means Madison wins tonight. Traci has to stay in the ring unless Karen is in danger.

We recap RVD vs. Lynn which is over Jerry being jealous or something. It’s Full Metal Mayhem which means TLC with pins. Can’t argue with putting this match on in Philly.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Technical stuff to start but they’ve probably got a lot of time. There are only 8 minutes on this card and I can’t imagine that Hogan vs. Sting will break ten minutes. Rob takes over early and tries Rolling Thunder but Lynn pops up with a kick to the face. Tornado DDT is countered but the suplex is as well. The psychology here is solid and we hit a stalemate. They try a cross body over the top and that doesn’t work right, drawing half boos/half silence from the crowd.

We’re on the floor now and Van Dam tries a moonsault off the apron but misses and might have hurt his knee. Lynn brings in a ladder but Rob sends him in and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Jerry hits a baseball slide to send it into the face of Van Dam. Van Dam gets a spinning cross body onto Lynn onto the chair for two. The surfboard dropkick with the chair in the corner gets no cover. Rob does however get a ladder so the crowd is pleased.

The fans chant ECW and the ladder is splashed with Lynn under it for two. The fans never stay silent for long in this city. It’s something I wish you could hear in more cities too. Rob does a springboard moonsault over Lynn which appeared to be intentional. No idea what the point of that was other than to have Lynn hit him with the chair to take over. Lynn misses a senton backsplash onto the ladder and Van Dam takes over again.

Van Daminator misses so Lynn pelts the chair at him. Lynn gets a German for tow and Lynn is down more from it than Rob is. Lynn gets suplexed onto a ladder which is a lot more effective, so I guess American > Germany. Lionsault onto the ladder gets two for Rob. Rob tries one of his rolling moves but Jerry jumps off the middle rope and they collide at the same time. Lynn goes to the floor to get another ladder and I have the same question as Tazz: how many ladders do you need?

The second ladder is put up against the railing and Lynn tries a sunset bomb, resulting in Rob’s head slamming into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lynn has a big bump under his eye. Van Daminator gets two. Rob sets up the Van Terminator with a ladder over Lynn’s face and it’s enough for the pin at 13:16. So Lynn can get up from a Van Daminator after two seconds but he can’t move after about 30 seconds of sitting in the corner?

Rating: B. Good match but it’s going to be overrated because it’s Lynn vs. Van Dam. This was more about the weapons and the violence than the whole psychology which was the standard of their old matches. The fans were of course into it because these guys used to be huge in ECW like 10 years ago. It was entertaining though and that’s the point of these matches.

They hug afterwards, meaning I guess it’s cool to cost Van Dam a title shot. I guess he doesn’t seem to mind or whatever.

We recap the triple threat which is all about getting the world title shot or something. It’s the first I’ve heard of that but they’re talking about it which is the right idea. Joe went crazy and hurt Crimson once Joe was mathematically eliminated from the BFG Series so Morgan went after him for being a bully. Hence the triple threat.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

New music for Crimson. I’m not digging it. Joe tries to get both guys to fight each other but they beat him up instead. Joe is wearing red and blue tights while the others are both in white. Morgan’s continue to be way too small for him. Crimson hits the floor against his wishes and Joe takes down Morgan with ease. Crimson tries to steal a pin off a Morgan side slam but just gets one.

The non-Samoans are sent to the floor so Joe tries a huge suicide elbow. Morgan steps to the side so Crimson takes all of it. As Crimson gets up and brawls with Joe, Morgan goes up and dives onto Crimson from the top. Not a good few seconds for the red one there. Back in Crimson suplexes Joe and Morgan tries to steal the pin. We’re into the triple threat formula here and that’s all fine and good.

The non-Samoans slug it out and Morgan takes him down, only for Joe to trip him up and pull him to the floor. Crimson’s leg injury is fine by the way, despite him having it on Impact. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster on Crimson but Morgan comes in to break it up. I’ve never gotten that. Why wouldn’t he let Joe take Crimson out? Anyway Crimson sends Morgan to the floor and Crimson hits the spear on Joe for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: C. Not much here and this was something you could have seen on any Impact. To be fair though, there was no real heat on this match as it was all about pride or whatever. I mean, we have to have the TV Champion fighting Scott Baio in his underwear so we can’t have the TV out there. It’s TNA though so titles mean less and less all the time other than the world title. This was probably going to be the weakest match on the card and it was certainly watchable.

Ray says he needs no introduction and talks about himself anyway. He buries Philadelphia, talking about how he’s never liked it here and he’s used the idiot fans for years to get where he is. This was really needed because Ray would have been the crowd favorite otherwise.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson charges the ring and we start fast. Remember that this is a falls count anywhere match. Anderson tries to control early but Ray kicks his head off and puts Anderson down. Is there a reason why Anderson wears his shirt in his matches anymore? Ray chops him haRD in the corner (not good enough for all caps but decent) as Anderson’s hair is uh….weird. Anderson goes to the floor and takes a sign which has to be loaded. Yep there’s a metal sign in there and Ray goes down in a heap. Dead end sign and it goes over Ray’s head again.

They fight on the floor and a fan throws a beer on Ray. Anderson gets two on the floor and they go up the ramp. Anderson is infinately more entertaining when you let him stop wrestling. Ray reverses a suplex on the stage for two. Ray grabs the mic and talks about New York but Anderson beats him down and says this is Philadelphia. They head into the back and Ray hits a piledriver onto the concrete for two. Anderson gets choked with a red chair.

Back into the arena and they’re near the Spanish announce area. That has to be a copyrighted brawling area. Anderson takes part of the railing away and slides it into the ring but Ray beats him down and sets up a table. There’s another set up on the floor as well. Ray gets backdropped onto the railing and it’s bent.

Anderson goes up and misses the swanton onto the railing, allowing Ray to hit the Bubba Bomb (why is it not the Bully Bomb?) for two. I thought that was the ending. Anderson gets in a trashcan shot and loads Ray up onto the table on the floor. He goes up and channels his inner Jeff Hardy. There’s the huge Swanton BUT THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK! FREAKING OW MAN!!! A Mic Check onto the table finally ends this at 14:28.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was fun to watch. It wasn’t technically good or anything but if you’re expecting it to be you’re totally missing the point. This was a fun weapons match, although I kind of question having two of them on the same show like they did with Lynn and Van Dam. Decent match here and rather entertaining.

Bischoff is talking to a referee and says it’s a big night. It’s implied that the referee is in Immortal’s pocket. Eric says Hogan has to win and Sting has to be taken out for good. It’s revealed that Jackson James, the referee, is the son of Bischoff. This is treated as a shock by the announcers.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Karen is referee and Winter is champion. The crowd is WAY into Velvet. Winter is in a coat of some kind and Angelina is in a pink corset. Karen looks good in her referee stuff and Madison gives her the tiara. They have to tag here and it’s Winter vs. Mickie to start. Winter controls early but Mickie snaps off the slick rana in the corner and a neckbreaker puts Winter on the floor.

Madison comes in sans tag and tries to slap Mickie or throw something in her face but it doesn’t work. They’re playing up the Karen factor a lot here as the fix is in or something like that. Mickie goes to the floor and Velvet comes in. I guess it’s lucha tag rules. Velvet hits a bulldog but Karen ties her shoes instead of counting. Velvet and Mickie have to fight but shake hands first.

Both get rollups but Karen won’t count for either of them. The fans are all over this in a hurry. They slug it out for a bit with no real purpose because Karen isn’t going to count. Winter and Madison pull them to the floor and that’s a tag in a way I guess. Madison is in there finally and make that all four are in now. The good girls take over and the fans aren’t going to stick with this much longer.

Mickie vs. Winter at the moment but Mickie won’t cover because there’s no point to it. She beats Winter down but argues with Karen, allowing Angelina to give Winter blood. It gets loaded up but Mickie ducks, sending the blood into Karen’s eyes. I typed that before it happened. There’s the jumping DDT and here’s Traci. Things totally break down and Velvet hits the double underhook X Factor to win the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. They wanted Velvet winning to be a huge moment and it just wasn’t. There was so much going on here and most of it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before so this wasn’t much to see. Winter’s second reign was about as worthless as her first but at least there’s the title reign for Velvet which has taken forever to get to. Not the big moment they were looking for though.

Kaz doesn’t know who to cheer for in the I Quit match but he hopes Daniels sees the light after it’s over.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles #4895 which is about Daniels being way too excited about beating him on a fluke and turning heel on him, setting up an I Quit match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

It sounds like new music for both guys. AJ has another new remix. This is I Quit. There’s also no pyro for anyone tonight so far. The guys have the mic here and it’s a brawl to start. Daniels is asking if it’s over about 30 seconds in with a choke on AJ. AJ hooks a bridging Indian Deathlock and Daniels says no. We’re in that place in the match where they’re trying for fast submissions but no one believes it’s happening yet.

AJ hits his leapfrog/drop/dropkick spot and we head to the floor. AJ hits a flip dive and both guys are down. They find a tool box and Daniels tries to stab AJ with a screwdriver. The maiming attempt fails and they fight to the apron where they botch some kind of a suplex move. The screwdriver is stuck in the buckle. AJ has pink on his tights for breast cancer awareness month. Nothing wrong with that.

AJ still won’t quit so Daniels busts out the BME to AJ while he’s on his knees, making it more like Shadows Over Hell (Delirious move). Off to a half crab and of course AJ doesn’t quit. A spin kick is blocked and Daniels gets a backbreaker. There’s no eyeliner on Daniels either which is a weird look. He’s in tights instead of shorts too. It’s chair time and Chris sits down on it with the bar over AJ’s throat. Styles is bleeding over the top of the head, right around his hairline.

Daniels says everything AJ has in TNA will belong to him and he never wanted to hear AJ say I qu….”oh no I’m not saying it.” The fans chant for him to shut up and Daniels lets up for some reason. He looks into the camera and talks to Wendy (AJ’s wife) and says take the kids out of the room because they shouldn’t see their father murdered. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

AJ gets fired up and hits the backflip reverse DDT. Styles Clash fails and Daniels misses the BME. He shouts DIE AJ but runs into the Pele and the Clash. So….how does this make Daniels say he quits? AJ picks up the chair but grabs the screwdriver instead. And Daniels quits to avoid the pain ala JBL vs. Cena in 05. He quit at 13:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of these matches because the ending is either the heel giving up after being hurt for a few seconds or giving up before something big happening. I wasn’t into this and the fans weren’t really either. I think they were going for a big ending and emotional moment but it never got to the level they were hoping for.

As AJ is leaving, Daniels jumps him and plants him with Angel’s Wings on the ramp, meaning this is going to continue.

We recap the final two matches on the card but here’s Jeff Jarrett.

He yells about Jeff Hardy and says no one here wants anything to do with Hardy. The fans chant for Hardy as Jarrett buries the city. He calls out Hardy and here he is with new music. They brawl with Hardy only saying a few words and it’s a brawl. This isn’t a match. Security comes out to break it up but Hardy gets free for a bit as happens in most brawls. That happens with both guys more than once. The agents come in and we get a D’lo chant. Hardy is left in the ring and poses to his music.

We recap Hogan vs. Sting. I’m shocked this isn’t the main event. The recap covers like a year and a half which is all about Hogan stealing the company from Dixie and Sting trying to get the control back for Dixie because it’s her’s.

Now the announcers talk about the match and how big it is.

Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

This is a “fight” remember, so Hogan is in an Impact Wrestling shirt and black tights. Dixie Carter is in the audience. If Hogan loses, Sting and Dixie get control of the company. Sting is in his Hogan shirt again. Jackson James, Bischoff’s son, is the referee. Before anything of note happens, Hogan waves out someone and it’s Flair. Dixie isn’t happy. And they lock up. We get a headlock in this “fight”.

Hogan Hulks Up and there goes the bandana. Sting throws off the Hogan shirt too. The fans sound into it so points for that. Hogan puts on a neck crank and we look at Dixie again. It’s in a rest hold so no complaints there. Hogan keeps crotch chopping. All Hogan so far with him sending Sting to the floor so Flair can pound away a bit with chops and a low blow.

All Hulk still as he hammers away on Sting on the floor. There’s some kind of object given to Hogan by Flair and Hulk pounds away with it. Sting is busted and Hogan struts and WOOs. Sting fires back and Hogan is in trouble. He keeps going to the floor to chase Flair and this time gets the object from him. Flair tries to warn Hulk but he can’t get away in time. Hulk is busted.

There’s the splash and down goes Flair. Hogan takes another splash and Hogan is down in the middle of the ring. Here’s the Scorpion and Sting gets it on full. He sits down on it and Hogan taps out right in front of the referee…..and he rings the bell for the submission at 9:49. The fans are not happy….like at all.

Rating: D+. The ending hurt it a lot but the fans were WAY into this. Tis is a fine example of a match where the match wasn’t the important part. However, there was nothing important to see here and the ending didn’t work at all for the most part. Keeping it short was good but Eric’s son wound up meaning almost nothing at all.

Immortal runs out for the beatdown with the chairs and Abyss is watching from behind the stage. Eric sets for a chair shot but his son takes the chair away. Down goes the son and Hulk is getting up. For no apparent reason Hulk turns face and beats up Immortal. Hogan and Sting clean house and Flair takes the brunt of the beating. Bischoff is cowering in the corner.

Hogan and Sting go back to back and stare each other down. They don’t shake hands but Hogan beats up Bischoff. This makes absolutely NO SENSE but the fans are more into it than anything ever in TNA. Hogan says he’s back and kicks Bischoff out of the ring. Hogan and Sting stare it down again and Sting wants Hogan to pose. They play to the crowd and that’s about it.

We recap Roode vs. Angle and I think you know the drill here.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle

It’s 10:36 when the bell rings so they have about 20 minutes or so, barring them going right up to the hour. They head to the floor for a few seconds and Angle kicks him low on the way back in. Angle is coming in with a legit hamstring injury. They go to the mat and Angle works on a gutwrench. The fans are all behidn Roode. The American hits a German on the Canadian and make it three of them, getting a two count.

Kurt sets for the moonsault but Roode suplexes him off and Kurt lands on his head. The fans went SILENT after that. Kurt seems to be ok as they slug it out. Roode hits a forearm and some clotheslines to take over. Blockbuster hits for what looked to be three but they’ll call it two. Belly to belly gets two for the champ as does a DDT. Angle Slam is countered into the spinebuster (no pop at all for it) for two.

Angle does the run up the rope suplex for two. They’re really just using signature stuff here instead of a longer match. Roode grabs the Crossface out of nowhere and Kurt can’t reach a rope. Angle teases tapping but he grabs the ankle to escape the hold. Now Roode is in the submission and teases tapping but reverses right back into the Crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle reverses again and is put in the hold on the other arm this time. Kurt rolls through into the Slam for two.

Back to the ankle but Roode kicks him off and hits the spinebuster to still not much of a reaction. The crowd just does not care after the Hogan vs. Sting stuff. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. The dueling chants start up and Kurt hooks the ankle again. Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag as the fans are starting to get into this a bit. Angle gets the referee in between them and kicks Roode low. There’s another Slam and it only gets two again.

Time for more rolling Germans but Roode reverses into the Crossface again, this time on the left arm which is the one that I think it’s been on more often than the right one. Roode’s face is really bad when he’s got these holds on. Kurt’s arm is under the ropes so the hold is broken. Spear gets two for Angle. I’m so over the move I can’t stand it anymore. Angle goes up for something but jumps into the Crossface. Kurt escapes and tries the Slam but Roode tries the Fisherman’s into another Slam and Kurt grabs the rope….for the pin at 14:20. Oh….oh no they can’t be doing this. Roode’s arm was under the ropes too.

Rating: C. The ending cripples this. It wasn’t a classic before that but the ending hurt it more than I can comprehend. The match was so based on having finishers escaped and kicked out of and all that stuff which was the vast majority of the match. Not horrible but man, that ending is actually standing and it’s over. That CRIPPLED things.

Overall Rating: B+. The ending to this show brings it way down. I mean WAY down. There isn’t a truly bad match on the whole card but there isn’t a classic either. Still, it’s a very good show and worth checking out, but the ending to the main event hurt this like nothing else. There was zero point to having Angle go over there and he was helped out by the trainer post match so maybe he was legit hurt. I’m in awe over that ending. The rest of the show was solid though and Hogan’s illogical heel turn is fun stuff. Worth seeing, but prepared to roll your eyes at the main event.

Results
Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Van Terminator
Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Matt Morgan – Spear to Joe
Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check through a table
Velvet Sky b. Winter, Mickie James and Madison Rayne – Sitout facebuster to Rayne
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Daniels said he quit
Sting b. Hulk Hogan – Scorpion Deathlock
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Angle Slam

No Surrender 2011
Date: September 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re at the finals of the BFG Series tonight and I think it’s some system where you win based on how many total points you have. Not that TNA ran over any possible scenarios or anything but I guess math is a bit beyond their abilities. We have Angle vs. Anderson vs. Sting for another PPV tonight because those three are the only people that have been designated as main event guys. Three matches were thrown onto the card Thursday and I think more will be added with no warning. Let’s get to it.

There’s a patriotic theme to the Impact Zone and the TNA voice says let’s take a moment to remember ten years ago. That’s fine. The roster is on the stage for this.

The opening video is all about the BFG Series and to be fair that’s what they should focus on, even though the logic of it is pretty limited.

Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

The winner is #1 contender for the X Title. These two have been feuding and split the first two matches. Jesse has his football which I wouldn’t recommend since I’d rather be watching my Cowboys than this game. He signs it for a kid which is a nice touch I guess. The ropes are the old WWF red white and blue style which is required for this show. Kash’s tattoos almost look like they’re eating him. If it gets rid of some of that gut I’m all for it.

They hit the mat quickly for some technical stuff and Jesse snaps off some armdrags. It’s a stalemate early on. Kash wants a test of strength and that goes nowhere. Kash slaps him but you don’t slap a guy from Texas. Sorensen charges but gets sent into the post on a slide to give the evildoer the advantage. Brainbuster gets two. He fires off some crossface shots to the…uh….face’s face and keeps pounding away.

Sorensen fires back with some strikes and a solid dropkick which almost every young kid has anymore. They must have grown up watching Maven “Eyebrows” Huffman and followed his great example. Cross body gets two and it’s time for more of Kash’s boring old school style stuff.

I don’t get why Kash keeps getting hired. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him but he was in WCW in the dying days, got a title in ECW, got a title in old TNA and got the Cruiserweight Title in WWE. I don’t get it at all. Kash can’t put him away so he gets frustrated and shoves the referee. A Crash Landing (release vertical suplex) sets up an attempted moonsault but Kash crashes. He still manages to get two as Sorensen is in trouble. Out of absolutely nowhere Sorensen gets behind Kash and lifts him into the air for kind of a reverse Impaler for the pin at 8:00. That was about all the offense he had in seven minutes.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible opener but the ending came out of nowhere. I don’t get why they brought Kash back in as his look isn’t any good anymore and he’s old. There’s nothing interesting about him but I guess it’s because he’s a grizzled veteran or something. Not much of a match but hopefully Sorensen can move on to someone other than Kash.

Angle isn’t happy about having the title match tonight and yells at Hogan about it. He’s officially Immortal as well. Hogan tells him to chill and says go get ready. I smell a swerve.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Storm has to win via submission to have any chance. Storm has a new shirt that says Beer Hunter with some crosshairs on it. I like it. Loud Bully Sucks chant to start and he runs away from Storm for a bit. If he was smart he’d get counted out quickly or find a way to get himself pinned. Ray keeps running and I have a feeling this is going to be a show based around trying to get points one specific way or not losing one specific way.

Ray stalls even more, channeling his inner Zbyszko. We get going now and Ray sends him into the corner but gets caught in a cross armbreaker and is in trouble. Storm isn’t very good at it though (makes sense) and Ray gets out and bails. The fans keep calling him Pussy Ray. Storm goes back to the arm and hooks an armbar, showing psychology. Ray tries to break it but gets caught in a cross armbreaker again, this time in the middle of the ring.

Bully escapes again and heads to the floor. This time Storm goes after him and hammers away a bit, still working on the arm, sending it into the steps. Ray sends him into the apron and steals some beer. No idea if he swallowed it or not. He grabs a chair and as it’s being taken to the floor Ray spits the beer in the eyes. Old school heel work still works.

HARD chop by Ray as Tazz explains the difference between types of quivers between your legs. He calls for the Bubba Bomb but gets reversed and it’s right back into the armbreaker. Ray looks like he’s in big trouble here but he gets his foot onto the rope to break it up. Storm throws on a Scorpion (he’s grabbing the foot, not the knee) and Ray is in trouble again. Blast it he made the ropes.

Storm kicks away at the arm and throws on a (Mr.) Fujiwara Armbar but Ray counters into a rollup for two. Storm goes to the floor and has some beer also complete with some yucky backwash but spits it into the referee’s eyes by mistake. As he’s blinded, Storm gets the tapout but loses by DQ at 11:50. Well that makes sense I guess. It also gives Ray 53 points, I believe clinching at worst a tie.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match and the psychology from Storm was there for the majority of the match. It wasn’t so much on Ray’s part because there was no reason for him to not just head to the floor and take a countout loss then interfere in the other match for a DQ for either guy, giving himself the tournament. Then again that wouldn’t make for much of a PPV so I guess they couldn’t do that.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie which involved past lives, blood, implied lesbianism, drinking blood and Daisy Duke shorts. You can piece the rest together yourselves.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie beat Winter a few weeks ago on Impact to get the title back. Winter is a bit freaky with some magic stuff going on. This is the rubber match. Winter’s music is kind of cool. Mickie has a Wonder Woman style outfit here including the skirt. Mickie takes over quickly and we head to the floor. Winter goes face first into the railing but she takes over back inside.

Mickie comes back with some strikes and a rana out of the corner. A dropkick puts Angelina down but it lets Winter get a shot to the head in to take over again. Suplex gets two. Winter chokes away as does Angelina. She puts on a backbreaker and bends Mickie over her knee. I can’t complain about all the upskirt shots here from Mickie. Spinout backbreaker puts Mickie down again.

A neckbreaker out of nowhere gets Mickie a breather as both chicks are down. They slug it out with Mickie getting the better of it. She fires off some clotheslines and a flapjack before nipping up. A big kick to the face gets two as Winter grabs the rope. James throws on a half crab with a leg trap but Winter gets the rope. Love slides in the belt but Hebner gets it away. A rollup gets two for Mickie.

Winter fires off some shoulders in the corner and Angelina is lurking. Mickie tries a tornado DDT but Angelina pulls Winter to the floor. Mickie is like cool and takes her down with a Thesz Press off the apron. Love runs up the apron as Winter has a chance to load up some blood. Mickie comes back in and Love distracts her. Unfortunately she doesn’t do it well enough and Love takes the blood in the eyes. Mickie goes for Winter but takes the OTHER blood in the eyes for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. The match was fun but we see one of Russo’s weaknesses here: that’s two matches in a row based on spitting something in someone’s eyes. There’s no point in doing it twice in a row as it makes it look stupider the second time. Also this was almost the same ending that they had to the PPV match last time, making it even dumber. Do ANYTHING other than the previous match’s ending. A belt shot would have worked fine here, but Russo likes spitting blood so that’s what we get. Also why did they put the belt back on Mickie at all?

Gunner says he’ll do whatever it takes to go to BFG when Ray comes in and says HE goes and Gunner does whatever it takes to get him here. To even get a tie either guy has to win by tap out. Bullying is Ray’s business and business is good.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

Anderson makes fun of Immortal and while he doesn’t like Sting he’ll do it to get rid of Angle. JB gets embarrassed by saying he sees a sunset in doors. Typical Anderson here.

We recap Joe vs. Morgan which is basically Joe injuring a bunch of people because he couldn’t get half the matches in the Series that anyone else could at the end and Morgan stood up for the honor of a Series he was in for about a month.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

The fans are for Morgan who is in almost all white. Joe fires chops at the injured chest/pec so Morgan hammers away right back. He takes over even more and hits a Taker apron legdrop. Joe gets back in the ring and hits the suicide elbow to take over. Back inside Morgan hits a top rope crossbody for two. He loads up the Carbon Footprint but Joe bails. As he’s getting back in he pulls the arm across the top rope to work on the pec and then hits a running knee to keep his advantage.

The fans chant Sloppy Joe as Tazz implies a lot of the fans at home are fat. Tenay has nothing for that. Joe pounds him into the corner and gets a loud enziguri for two. Morgan fires some punches but is taken over by some Judo throw that Tazz loves knowing the name of. Off to a Kimura for awhile but someone shows Joe a Twinkie so he lets go of it. He calls for the Muscle Buster and then doesn’t go for it, instead being taken down by a discus lariat.

Morgan hits a side slam but Joe takes over again. The selling/momentum is kind of missing in this match. In a weird looking move, Joe gets a running start at Morgan and then grabs him into a belly to belly. He tries the Clutch but it’s more like a sleeper. Morgan manages to break it but Joe never had it on full. He tries it again and gets it on mostly full including the leg lace. Now it’s the full Clutch but Matt gets his leg on the rope. Joe gets in Hebner’s face but misses a charge, letting Morgan take his head off with the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the main thing here is that this is a great example of what’s wrong with TNA. Back in 2008 Joe was awesome and motivated and dominating people while looking awesome. Then they decided he wasn’t going to get pushed anymore and he’s been floundering ever since. Morgan is a guy they’ve decided they aren’t going to push so he’s floundered as well. The problem in short is the management has decided that they’re in the group not worth pushing so they’re not going to and the guys get discouraged and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy.

Roode says it’s his time and he’s coming for Gunner and Ray. Storm is with him and doesn’t look pleased. Storm stops him and says it’s cool and sounds sincere.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Eric comes out and says since the score is tied it’s Ray vs. Roode for the title. Why they didn’t just do a regular tournament is beyond common sense but so is most of TNA. Also the fact that we have three matches left and 80 minutes to go isn’t saying much either.

Aries says Kendrick’s time is over and it’s time for action. Kendrick is bringing his A game but Aries is bringing his A Double game.

We recap Kendrick vs. Aries. Kendrick speaks a lot of philosophical nonsense and Aries says he’s better than Kendrick.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

Kendrick is wearing a Genghis Khan head dress. I haven’t been incredibly impressed by Aries but I keep being told he’s the best in the world for some reason. They go to the mat quickly and that gets no one anything. They trade counters and Kendrick hooks a Fujiwara Armbar, making it the third match tonight where we’ve seen that submission. They speed it up a bit and Kendrick gets a headscissors to get a small advantage.

Aries is sent to the apron so he can chill a bit. Kendrick gets bored I guess and goes after him and back inside we go. Kendrick gets a kick to the head in and tries Sliced Bread but Aries heads for the outside. Brian rams him into the railing a few times and tries Sliced Bread out there which doesn’t work either. Aries gets a Russian Leg Sweep into the post to take over, getting two in the ring.

Back inside a pair of elbows gets two for Aries. There’s stump puller to really mix things up. A release STO sets up the classically stupid pendulum elbow which misses. Kendrick is sent into the corner face first but he manages to break up a running dropkick. Brian hits a bunch of dropkicks of his own to send Aries outside and we go back in again. There’s a missile dropkick for two.

Tornado DDT gets two. He tries Sliced Bread again but gets tossed over the top and out to the floor in a very nasty crash. Aries tries a suicide dive but Kendrick moves, sending Aries crashing into the barricade. They both barely beat the count back in and slug it out. Aries avoids a charge and Kendrick hits the floor AGAIN. What is that, 6 times already? Back in a running dropkick in the corner gets two.

Aries sets for the brainbuster but gets rolled up for two. Backslide gets two. Aries fires off a tornado forearm for two and an elevated DDT ala Orton for two. 450 misses but Aries rolls through. Kendrick grabs a tiger suplex for two. He tries sliced bread but the referee is in the corner. Aries kicks him in a place that isn’t nice to kick another man and the brainbuster ends this at 14:20 with a new champion.

Rating: B-. This was probably the best match of the night so far but it still was nothing to write home about, let alone half a page. They went outside so many times I lost count and the whole thing felt kind of boring. It wasn’t a bad match and was pretty good at times, but when you can bore a TNA crowd, you’re doing something special. To be fair this has been an incredibly unimpressive show so it’s not this match’s fault.

Ray says this is about one more match that he has to win to go to BFG. He’s going after Roode’s bad neck.

Bound For Glory Series Final: Robert Roode vs. Bully Ray

Well at least we’re not getting a three way. They get in an a face to face argument in the aisle with Ray trying to intimidate him. The fans are totally behind Roode and they stare it down. They talk a lot of trash and I think this is supposed to be epic and it just isn’t. Ray hides again to stall. And then does it again. Ray steals the hat of someone at ringside and that is a large man.

There has been no contact in about five minutes so far. They lock up and Roode gets an armdrag to send Ray to the floor again. I know they have a ton of time to fill but would some punches kill them? They lock up again and Ray is frustrated. He manages a hard chop but Roode no sells it and flips him off. Then he does it again minus the flipping. Instead he slaps Ray and finally we get going.

Scratch that as Ray is on the floor AGAIN. Ray grabs a headlock but Roode counters down into the crossface from earlier. Ray tries to grab the referee to no avail but gets out of the hold. A neckbreaker puts Roode down and a splash gets two. He slaps and chops away while talking trash but Roode no sells the chops again. Ever the lunkhead, Ray keeps chopping and they keep failing.

A big right hand works a bit better and they slug it out. Roode comes back with a forearm and clothesline to take over. The Blockbuster gets two. Rock Bottom gets two for Ray. Bubba Bomb gets two and Ray is mad. The middle rope backsplash misses and the spinebuster gets the pin out of nowhere at 12:34.

Rating: C. The match got better in the middle but the first seven or eight minutes were so boring it was ridiculous. I get that it was supposed to be epic, but you can only get so epic with Bubba Ray Dudley. I’ve been told how great Roode is for years now and while I don’t think he sucks, I don’t see this star in him that everyone says is there. I like Storm better but we’ll see what he can do with this chance now.

Rosita talks about her dad dying on 9/11.

We recap Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson. Angle joined Immortal to get rid of Dixie’s young talent and got brought into this feud because of it. Anderson is back and the Network made this main event for some reason.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is in the blue one again tonight. After some big match intros we’ve got about 20 minutes for this assuming the show is going off at about 10:53. The fans seem to be behind Anderson at first. Angle immediately goes to the floor to continue the stalling theme of the night. Back in and both guys hammer him down and send him to the floor to get a one on one going.

We’re firmly into the triple threat formula as they go at it for a minute or so until Kurt comes back in and Anderson goes to the floor. In perfect timing, Angle sends Sting to the floor and turns around to have Anderson waiting on him. What are the odds of that? Everyone is in now and Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two as Sting makes the save. It’s a triple suplex as Angle suplexes Sting who suplexes Anderson. I think I’ve seen that before.

Angle is the only person standing at the moment. Belly to belly gets two on Sting. Off to a rear naked choke which doesn’t last long since Angle isn’t Samoan. Stinger Splash hits Angle and a regular DDT gets two. Anderson is back in now and he hits a kick of some sort for two. Mic Check to Angle doesn’t work so here are some rolling Germans. Now Sting takes some rolling Germans for a two count. I bet he could have had three if they were Rolling Rocks instead.

Angle tries a superplex but has to settle for the running up the corner belly to belly for two instead. Sting counters the Angle Slam and throws Kurt over the top. Scorpion on Anderson and Anderson squeals like a piggy. He can’t quite get the rope but Kurt comes in for an Angle Slam to Sting for two. Why is Kurt surprised that move didn’t get a pin? One to Anderson gets the same result.

There’s the ankle lock on Sting but it’s eventually rolled through, sending Kurt into the Mic Check for two. Sting fights out of the fireman’s carry into a Death Drop for two as Angle pulls him out to the floor. Hogan pops up and sprays something in Sting’s eyes (third match with someone being blinded tonight) and the Angle Slam keeps the title on Kurt at 15:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it’s triple threat 101 here all the way. I’m so sick of seeing these three having these matches time after time and I can’t stand it anymore. The match was ok but for the love of goat’s milk, why do we need three blindings in the same show? I mean come on and give us ANYTHING else. You can’t throw in a chair shot or something? Either way, it keeps the title on the drunk which is the point….somehow.

Overall Rating: D+. It picked up a little in the last hour or so but until about 9:45 this was really boring. I still don’t get the idea in booking the tie instead of a straight semi-final and then final but it’s TNA so who knows what they’re thinking. The problem here for the most part was that it was just boring. A lot of the matches seemed thrown together and the important matches, namely the BFG matches, were ok at their very best. This wasn’t a good show but I guess they have some time to set up BFG which has most of the matches set already. It has to be better than this which was just boring.

Results

Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash – Reverse Inverted DDT

Bully Ray b. James Storm via DQ when Storm spit beer in Ray’s face

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after Winter spit blood in Mickie’s face

Mexican America b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Anarquia pinned D-Von after reversing a suplex

Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Crossface

Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster

Robert Roode b. Bully Ray – Spinebuster

Kurt Angle b. Sting and Mr. Anderson – Angle Slam to Sting