No Surrender 2010
Date: September 5, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The main thing tonight is the semi-final matches in the world title tournament. They should be good but the rest of the card seems a bit lackluster. It’s not bad but I just don’t really care about what I’m seeing here. Dreamer vs. AJ on PPV? Really? This should be ok though as TNA PPVs can often surprise you. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of the four guys in the semi-finals getting here earlier in the day. The video is your standard let’s hear from all four guys and get their opinions on the tournament. Nothing special at all but the idea works.

Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so apparently London Brawling isn’t here so this is your replacement. Shelley and Jeremy start us off with some very nifty mat work. Shelley is in shorts here which is a weird look on him. Taz implies the challengers have an attitude now, which probably means a heel turn. Apparently Generation Me are Christian athletes. Nothing wrong with that, but interesting that this comes up just around the time they turn heel.

The fans call them the Bucks of course because they have to be smart right? Oh wait that’s the last name of Gen Me here right? It is as we prove again how stupid the name Generation Me is. Young Bucks is hardly a bad name. Shelley with a reverse Boston Crab into a surfboard. They’ve both been in there the whole time and just as I say that Sabin comes in.

We crank it up as Max hits an INSANE backflip into a Diamond Cutter. Neckbreaker on Shelly on the apron and Shelly may have a bad neck now. It turns into a gymnastics routine, which is always fun if nothing else. These are perfect choices for openers as they’re very exciting and gets the crowd going. I’d prefer them in the middle of the show though as they can breathe life into the show later if things start to drag.

The ring looks a bit smaller than usual here for some reason. Sabin gets the hot tag and it’s on again. Springboard Tornado DDT gets two. Cue R-Truth’s opening line as this is the part where we crank it up. Sabin and Max slug it out in the ring and another tornado DDT is blocked. Gen Me kick the heck out of Shelley and set up for More Bang For Your Buck. In a very innovative counter, Jeremy goes for a superkick but Shelley grabs it and throws the foot into Max’s head. Skull and Bones end it clean.

Rating: B. Solid opener as always between these two. They know how to just make things exciting and fire up the crowd, which is always a great thing to see in the opener. The Guns are without a doubt the best team in the world today and highlight the division about as well as anyone can. Very fast paced match that has me wanting to see the rest of the show.

Post match Gen Me jumps the Guns and beat up Shelley and continue the focus on his neck, including an elevated DDT to the floor. We get an X thrown up from the referee for dramatic effect. Nice to see them as heels for once. Shelley walks off with some help.

Taz and Mike welcome us to the show, 25 minutes in. They run down the main points of the card, which we’ve already bought.

X Division Title: Sabu vs. Douglas Williams

They say that this is the only singles title match tonight, which means the TV Title still isn’t on the line, which is a good thing. These X Factor things are again annoying. We get all these things already but we need a Powerpoint presentation to tell us them again? The Bombay, Michigan thing always makes me chuckle. Williams out moves Sabu to start as Sabu isn’t sure what to do here.

He’s one of those guys that can be decent in the ring but when he gets bad he gets really bad. It depends on how insane he goes I guess. We start on the mat a lot which is a nice change of pace. Slingshot legdrop is kind of a slingshot double boot as it sets up the one arm camel clutch. That name always makes me chuckle.

A table is set up at ringside but we get into the ring before it can be used. The fans of course aren’t happy about us sticking to actual wrestling. Taz talks about his rivalry with Sabu, which is a good thing. I’ve long since thought Lawler needs to remind fans that he used to be a wrestler and even a world champion. Most young fans probably don’t know that and it probably would give him credibility.

Sabu brings in a chair but does nothing with it again. Triple jump moonsault is just barely ok as it gets two. Loud Sabu chant which will be validation to keep him around according to Dixie. We hit the mat again and Williams uses some insane spinning chinlock. This hasn’t been great but it’s no trainwreck at all. Sabu goes No Mercy with a springboard back elbow. Williams kicks the chair into Sabu’s balls and gets a gutwrench suplex for two.

Sabu goes for a big assisted dive but can’t quite get it so he just jumps, and I use that word loosely, over the top. Williams is put on the table but Sabu goes through it instead. Was there a point to that being in the match at all? I mean what did that add at all? Hebner tries to get rid of the chair, allowing a belt shot to the head of Sabu to make Williams retain. Well at least he kept the belt.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad really. It’s no classic or anything, but this was much better than I was expecting. Sabu didn’t go completely insane and as usual, it was far better that way. Williams definitely should have won and thankfully he did. This was definitely a passable match and a nice surprise in a way.

Anderson says he’s going to preach tonight and gets the crowd to say they’re jerks. I hate that gimmick.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye

Madison in leather is something I could get used to. Tara interferes almost immediately as we get an early sex based chant. Dang I hate this crowd at times. Rayne goes for the head of Skye to start as this isn’t as good as expected. Knees to the crotch of Madison makes Taz wonder if that would hurt.

Are there any Knockouts other than the BP and Tara? If there are they never appear on TV. Tara goes for the helmet but Love makes the save. And then Velvet just gets a DDT to get the win. It was as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It was on the exact level as a Divas match with very little wrestling but then again who cares about that when you have the looks? That was only half sarcasm mind you. The division has more or less died over this year and it didn’t get any better here. Pretty bad match.

Hardy, who looks a little blue, says tonight is for RVD. Well of course it is.

Abyss vs. Rhyno

This is falls count anywhere. Rhyno hits a nice dive to take out Abyss and we head to the back. They fight out near the amusement park as Taz is talking about a corndog. I haven’t had one of those in forever. Back into the Impact Zone as it’s your standard one punch knocks you three feet match here. The man beats goes into a trash can to give Abyss control.

The fans want Janice, once again proving how annoying they can be as they cheer the heel. Back on the floor again as Rhyno throws Abyss through part of the stage, where he is followed by Rhyno. The fans chant WE CAN’T SEE, which is true actually. We cut to Tenay and Taz, as I’m guessing Abyss needed a Twinkie break or something. And here comes Rhyno through the other side of the stage.

That gets two for Abyss so he rips apart the guard rail. Rhyno avoids it and hits a running clothesline because the Gore wasn’t appropriate there I guess? The fans chant for Rhyno, showing how fickle they are. Gore misses and a chokeslam onto a trash can gets two. He gets Janice but a Gore puts him down. Naturally it gets two, proving that the Stevie Kick is more powerful than the Gore. Black Hole Slam only gets two which is a surprise. Rhyno gores the guard rail and a Black Hole Slam ends it.

Rating: D+. Just a run of the mill weapons based match. Rhyno kicking out of the first Slam and Abyss doing the same with the Gore were nice surprises but they got no talking or reaction at all. This wasn’t horrible, but at the same time this just didn’t do much for me. Decent little weapons match, but the falls count anywhere portion was pretty pointless at the end of the day.

We recap Jarrett/Joe vs. Nash/Sting. I still don’t get the point of Joe being in this but whatever. This is one of the aspects of the THEY storyline, which isn’t a good thing as it needs to be toned down, but whatever. That and political storylines rarely work in wrestling, so let’s keep doing them right? This video is like 4 minutes long for no apparent reason.

Samoa Joe/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kevin Nash

Hogan isn’t here again, once again proving his worth to the company. Nash and Sting have the Wolfpack music going here. Sting and Joe start as we talk more about the vague references to things. Taz talks about the politics, which are RIVETING, yes RIVETING I say, to the casual fan that doesn’t get that meaning. Sting in a TNA shirt just looks weird. Joes takes down Nash with a big running jumping kick.

Nash comes in as we talk about how there is no Impact this week. Great to know that on a PPV rather than the TV show but whatever. Nash hits the side slam which is one of my favorite moves. And now we talk about politics and behind the scenes stuff, which makes my head hurt. I watch wrestling for wrestling, not a political drama. Stinger Splash and Jarrett is in trouble.

The crowd cheers for Sting, yet again not getting the point of being fans. Double clothesline and Sting and Jarrett both go down. Hot tag to Joe and the cleaning of house begins. Jarrett gets the bat and pops Sting a few times to a semi-heel (as heel as you can get in TNA that is) and the Clutch from Joe ends it as Sting is out.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but too short to mean much. The idea is that Jarrett shouldn’t have used the bat but did anyway due to insanity or something like that. It’s more overdoing an angle which is the last three months in a nutshell. Yet again a lack of answers which will lead to them just saying the same things over and over again.

We talk about AJ vs. Dreamer, which is the idea of EV 2.0 vs. Fourtune. The video really shows how messed up this feud is as most fans are likely to agree with Fourtune rather than the ECW guys. At least I do.

AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

I Quit rules. AJ hides behind the ramp to jump Dreamer as he comes through the curtain. Not a bad idea I guess. Shame that it doesn’t work though and we’re off and running. Styles shouts that Dreamer sucks while Dreamer chokes him. Dreamer gets a seated full nelson as he goes No Mercy as well. This has been more or less all Tommy so far, which gives me hope for AJ.

Styles takes over and goes for a figure four on the ramp, but Dreamer pops him with one of the lights that he rips off the ramp. Well that’s different. Crossface with….something across AJ’s mouth doesn’t quite work. Running clothesline while Dreamer is up against the ring. I don’t get how this is worthy of being an I Quit match already but whatever. There goes the padding on the floor which is old school heel stuff here.

Styles Clash on the concrete is blocked and AJ is in trouble after a shoulderbreaker. The fans cheer both guys. Can we get them a lesson in fandom? Semi-Pillmanizer to AJ’s arm and then Dreamer wraps the arm around the chair. AJ pulls a fork out of nowhere and goes for Dreamer’s face, resulting in another crossface. We head to the floor for a bit as Dreamer wraps AJ’s arm around the railing. AJ wraps Dreamer’s ankle around the railing because he’s a copycat. This of course doesn’t work either as we head back into the ring.

Figure four goes on but Dreamer rolls over. Figure Four on the post as I wonder what the post actually adds to it. AJ is kind of obsessed with that hold as he uses it for the third time in like 2 minutes. Dreamer finds the fork AJ had earlier but a Pele sends him to the floor. Suicide dive but AJ jumps into a kendo stick shot. Dreamer gets a crossface with the kendo stick around AJ”s eyes, but it breaks before he quits.

AJ gets another fork (has he been chilling with Abdullah lately?) and apparently stabs Dreamer in the eye with it. A thumb in the eye and a fish hook hold on the mouth makes Dreamer quit. The ending looked great as they continue to try to make AJ a heel no matter what they do. Shame he still gets cheered because HE WRESTLES LIKE A FACE.

Rating: C+. Very brutal and violent match, but again was there a point to having the stipulation there other than to have violence? I know they want it to be like ECW but do they want it to be that aspect of it? I wouldn’t think so, but then again I’m not TNA thank goodness. This was ok, but it just got a bit out there near the end.

Angle says he’ll win.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Pope vs. Anderson goes on last? Really? Ah wait make sure we get Dixie a quick cameo. The fans are split here, which makes sense in this match at least. Long feeling out process to start which implies a long match. SICK powerbomb from Angle off a reversal but no cover. The fans think this is awesome three minutes in after one big move. They’re improving I suppose.

Angle is dominating for the most part here but Hardy keeps getting out. It’s rare to see a mostly face vs. face match but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Angle with a reverse bearhug, which more or less equals sitting on the mat with a waistlock on Hardy. Slingshot dropkick misses first but not the second time. The fans of course tell Hardy that he screwed up because Heaven forbid he makes ONE mistake.

Belly to belly from Kurt as he still can throw one of those. Hardy gets a Stunner and Diamond Cutter which is of course called a Twist of Fate. How awesome is that running suplex that Angle does once in awhile? Angle slam sets up the ankle lock but Hardy gets out. Here are the Rolling Germans.

Moonsault and Whisper in the Wind both miss (as in there was no contact on the latter but Angle sold it anyway for two) so we head to the floor. Very solid match so far as they’re doing a slow build pace which is usually a good thing I think. Swanton hits Angle while he is on the floor so everyone is dead. Nice spot, drawing a Jesus Christmas line from Taz. Dixie is concerned and she looks like Morticia Adams.

Back in the ring and they slug it out. Kurt wins, getting a German before an awkward looking Frog Splash for two. The fans think this is awesome and for once they might have a point. It’s pretty good at least. After even more back and forth stuff, Angle takes two Swantons and manages to kick out.

A third gets knees and there’s the Angle Slam for two. We head to the floor again which lasts for about 4 seconds. Sorry for all the play by play but this is a very good match so it’s hard to make jokes. Ankle lock goes on forever (as in like a minute and a half), but Jeff doesn’t tap. There’s the bell, and it’s a time limit draw. There was no countdown or a time limit announced at the start of the match or anything, but what difference should that make?

Crowd COMPLETELY turns on this and boos the heck out of it. Cue Bischoff to add five more minutes. His ankle is dead though so there you go. Ankle lock goes on again but Jeff shakes it off. Naturally he’s mostly fine now and starts the comeback. Solid stuff again here as Jeff takes over.

So much for that as Kurt hits an Angle Slam off the top for two. I would have bet on that as being the ending. Hardy somehow sends him to the floor and Angle BARELY gets back in to avoid a count out. O’Connor Roll gets two and there’s a double clothesline. No pin though after Angle gets two at the very end so FIVE MORE MINUTES!

Ok is there a reason they just didn’t have one big long match? Jeff’s ankle is more or less done but Angle rams into the post. Angle is busted open after hitting the steps on the floor (allegedly). You know because there aren’t any steps in the ring so they had to be on the floor. Wow that was a stretch for a joke.

Hardy more or less puts on a Walls of Jericho and the blood is pouring out of Kurt’s head. Kurt reverses into the ankle lock but Jeff is in the ropes. Apparently being in the ropes for about 5 seconds doesn’t count anymore as Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring and puts the ankle lock on for about 30 seconds but no tap.

Bischoff wants someone to look at Kurt’s head. This is pretty clearly filler as we need to spend time. Eric declares the match a no contest due to the cut. You have got to be kidding me. Also, do they really think Anderson vs. Pope is going to be able to follow this?

Rating: A-. Match was GREAT, booking is idiotic. This is a way to set up a triple threat or something (because they’re an alternative to WWE right?) like that. This was a great in ring performance though and one of Jeff’s best matches ever. This would be an A+ if not for the constant stoppages and the flat out stupid booking, but that’s TNA for you I guess: you have something great so you overbook it as much as they can.

Pope does a pretty stupid interview about enemas.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi Finals: Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Shouldn’t this be for the title? They start on the mat as I wonder why this is on last. I guess so they didn’t have that idiotic ending end the show? Pope works on Anderson’s shoulder which plays into their feud, so there’s some continuity. I have a little trouble taking a match seriously when the fans all chant Anderson’s catchphrase. Anderson can’t really use the arm at the moment which is some nice selling.

Anderson works on Pope’s shoulder as this is a very slow paced match. Pope blocks a top rope suplex and Anderson goes to the floor. This has been pretty good but the slow pace is hurting it a bit. We hit the near falls aspect of the match and it’s still entertaining. Mic Check is blocked so Anderson hits it 2 seconds later for two. Crowd is pretty much dead mind you. DDE misses and Pope jumps into the Mic Check to end it. Anderson advances to the finals to fight….uh someone. Big F Bomb by Anderson after the match.

Rating: B. Pretty good match here with nothing notably bad and a totally clean ending which is nice. The crowd was just DEAD after the previous match though which is a bad thing and it hurt the match a bit. This was good though and much better than I expected from these two.

Overall Rating: B. Pretty solid show I thought. Nothing is really horrible other than the booking in the Angle/Hardy match. The matches all worked and have been built up to an extent on Impact. The PPVs are usually far better than Impact and this was no exception. With a great match in the first semi-final and some good stuff for the rest of the show, how can you really complain here? Solid show and I liked it FAR more than I expected to.

Hardcore Justice 2011
Date: August 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Well at least there’s no ECW tonight. This card looks like it’s loaded up with a lot of stuff that not many people other than the really big fans would be interested in. The main event is Sting vs. Angle because goodness knows we haven’t seen those two fight enough in the past. I’d assume some kind of shenanigans because this is a TNA show after all. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting vs. Angle with Sting going all crazy. He seems to like it. Angle is coming after Sting and the title though. Sting needs the belt right now to help fight Hogan and Bischoff and bring back Carter. Sting says he hasn’t snapped but that he just feels good. Angle says that it’s just business.

They even have a sponsor tonight: Direct Auto Insurance. That’s a good thing.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries

Taz says he sees a lot of himself in Aries. Not sure on that one. Kendrick has some weird new music and he’s back in the shorts. Well long shorts but whatever. There’s a big brown thing on the front that looks like a huge patch. Aries is sent to the floor quickly and has no issues with just chilling out there. Well you can’t say he’s not thinking. Not that this isn’t the strategy of almost every heel in a triple threat or anything but still.

Down to a one on one match at the moment and Shelley takes him to the mat. They ask for Aries to come back in but he declines. Alex throws on a wristlock as Aries is getting back in very slowly. And never mind as he’s right back outside. The fans are behind Shelley here. Shelley backs him into the corner and Aries holds him in place there. Not sure why but he just kind of did.

Shelley pops Aries on the apron and Austin is down again. Ah there he is and never mind as he’s knocked to the floor again. They totally botch something as Shelley is suplexing Kendrick and Aries is supposed to catch him but he misses Kendrick completely. Then Austin rakes Shelley’s back…and falls down. No idea what that was supposed to be but it’s booed loudly.

The faces slug it out and Shelley is sent to the floor. Austin pops Kendrick to stop the dive though as Taz calls him a funky looking possum. Kendrick gets backdropped to the floor and hits his foot/ankle on the apron on the way down. Aries sets for a dive of some sort but Shelley breaks it up. What’s good for the funky possum is good for Skunk Boy I guess. Aries sends them both to the floor and stands tall for a few seconds. The Possum flies and his advantage continues.

Back in a Lionsault by Aries lands on the knees of Shelley. Aries is down and Kendrick gets caught in a Crossface. The only non rodent named person gets to the rope. Alex can’t get Sliced Bread but does get a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to put the champion down. Shelley goes up for what presumably was to be the splash but Aries makes the save. I’ve never gotten that: why not let Shelley take Kendrick out THEN jump Shelley so you can steal the pin on Kendrick?

Aries is sent to the floor (film at 11) and Shelley puts that freaky leg lock on the champion again. Aries saves and bulldogs Shelley, putting him into an inverted chinlock (Benoit used to do it a lot). Kendrick vs. Aries now and Austin takes two different feet to the face. Sliced Bread is countered again so they try a Tower of Doom/Mega Sliced Bread move on Shelley but Kendrick falls off the top. Brainbuster hits Shelley but Kendrick saves and hits Sliced Bread to Aries onto Shelley, who he pins to retain.

Rating: C+. The botches hurt this a lot here, especially the one at the end. When one noticeable botch happens it’s understandable it’s ok but two that big in one match hurts it too much. Still though, pretty fun although they never hit that huge gear you would have expected. A lack of dives, the whole point of the division, hurt it also. Still though fine for an opener and nothing bad.

Tessmacher and Tara talk about the brawl with Sarita/Rosita and we get to see why Tessmacher should be seen and not heard. Tara guarantees a win and says “Come on Brooke.” It’s about time she had a first name.

Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

The challengers (I’ve been yelled at for referring to a Mexican that portrays a Mexican who is called Mexicans as a Mexican so it’s challengers now) look good in their red, white and green flag outfits of a country it’s apparently racist to say by name. Tessmacher looks good in red but not as good as in blue. The challengers’ male counterparts (who are of no apparent nationality or race whatsoever) are sent to the back.

Tara vs. Rosita (loving the white shorts) start but it’s off to Sarita who looks like a freaky Christmas present. The challengers keep tagging quickly as it’s back to Rosita who snaps off a rana on Tara. Tara’s response: KICK HER IN THE FACE. Why mess with the basics? This breaks down quickly and it’s Tessmacher being all feisty. She gets her face rammed into the buckle though and the challengers take over.

The fans chant for Brooke and then Tessmacher. Tazz makes an Andy Devine reference or something similar to that. Tessmacher gets beaten down but manages to grab a rollup for two and a tag as well. Tara comes in but the Widow’s Peak (is that offensive to spiders? Insects maybe? Why not a thorax peak?) is broken up and Tara gets dropped on her shoulder out of a double underhook slam.

Rosita kicks Tara into a cover by Sarita for two. Sarita really likes to dance. Must be a freaky Christmas present looking thing. Widow’s Peak is countered again into a rollup by Rosita for two. Mike keeps calling Tara Powerfully Hot. I really hope that isn’t an attempt at a new nickname. Tessmacher makes the save again and this time, the third time (racist against even numbers much?) the Widow’s Peak (complete with its own chant) ends Rosita.

Rating: D+. They were playing up the power vs. speed thing here but it didn’t work for the most part. In short (or tall. Please don’t sue me!) it’s just boring. There’s no interest in these titles and I see no real reason for this match to have happened other than to get the rematch clause out of the way. The tag titles need to die already because they never had a point to them and the depth isn’t there anymore to support it.

Pope is trying to send out a tweet to D-Von to say the match doesn’t need to happen. If he’s so close to D-Von’s family, why not just go to them and get D-Von’s number? Pope says he’s been a good influence on the family so he doesn’t get why D-Von is mad. It’s going to be intense though because of the BFG aspect of it. He’s going to do the right thing.

D-Von is a submission away from being tied for first in the Series. That’s not right. Like at all.

Bound For Glory Series: Devon vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Matt Morgan is the official analyst for the Series now. I think he has a new version of his theme music but maybe not. D-Von’s kids are in the crowd and Pope says hi to them on the way to the ring. At No Surrender the top four in points will have two singles matches and the person with the most points after those matches go to Bound For Glory. Dudes, just make a tournament. Quit making it overly complicated.

Pope says D-Von is like his big brother and he expect a lot out of him, just like the kids expect something out of him. Their relationship is more important though so Pope is going to do the right thing again here. Morgan isn’t happy because he’s injured and Pope is laying down on this opportunity. D-Von isn’t taking it though and says get up, albeit it in more colorful language.

Basic stuff to start including D-Von getting a hip toss and covering, with Pope holding him down in an attempt to get pinned. Why doesn’t he just tap out while in a wristlock ala Chavo Guerrero? More basic stuff until Pope hits a forearm to take over. There’s a lot of arm work in this so far. Why do wrestling companies keep thinking we want to watch commentators talk? I didn’t pay $40 to watch Matt Morgan talk.

D-Von takes over again and it’s back to the arm. Jumping back elbow gets two, just like a headbutt. Out to the floor and Pope misses a charging D-Von, sending him into the post. Pope gets a chain and hands it to D-Von’s kids. Morgan is getting fed up with the total lack of focus on the match and I’m starting to agree with him.

Dinero starts getting something going and hammers away on the head a bit. Top rope cross body gets two. The crowd doesn’t seem to be all that interested. When you can manage to bore the Impact Zone, you might be really freaking boring. Pope sets for the DDE but stops dead, allowing D-Von to spear him for two. Morgan sighs and is about to growl. D-Von tries a chokeslam (really?) and gets rolled up for the pin. Sloppy rollup too.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but it’s D-Von Dudley vs. Elijah Burke for nine minutes on a PPV in 2011. That sounds like something off a really bad indy show. This story has been going on for several months now and it’s more or less right where it started: Pope likes the kids, the kids like Pope, D-Von doesn’t like Pope. Are the kids going to turn on D-Von or something? Why would they do that? Why is this getting so much time? I don’t understand it.

D-Von wants to leave but his kids say shake his hand, which D-Von does.

RVD says he’ll beat Crimson when Jerry Lynn pops up. He says he’ll be in RVD’s corner and that’s that I guess.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie James which has been set up for months now but it’s not an X-Division match so it got put on hold. Angelina and Winter are working together because the zombie thing is over.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Winter’s song is pretty awesome. Mickie and Winter are both looking hot here. Mickie takes over to start and grabs a leg. Kind of an awkward start as they seem like they’re not clicking in the slightest. Out to the floor and some double teaming sends Mickie into the front row. For no apparent reason Winter is all cool with getting a countout. This is what I mean by a lack of psychology.

The only good thing so far in this is all the upskirt shots of Mickie. Winter works on various parts of Mickie, currently working on the back. At one point Angelina comes in and hits her spinning backbreaker. She tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but Mickie escapes. A very weak dueling chant begins. Mickie grabs a tornado DDT to send Winter to the floor. Angelina comes in to try it again but Mickie takes her down. She tries to come in a third time but gets caught, allowing Winter to spit mist (think Muta) into her face for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Mickie having her skirt fly up all the time can’t be a failure but at the end of the day this was freaking bad. There was no flow to the match at all and Winter looked all over the place. Also the mist and the three run ins by Angelina were way too much booking. Not very good at all as the Knockouts are really failing now and we’re not even touching on the Velvet was bullied nonsense.

Kendrick is talking about winning earlier when Aries pops up, telling him to shush. That wasn’t a triple threat but rather a handicap match. Until Kendrick beats Aries, he’s not the real champion. Aries gives Kendrick the towel he was carrying and says go take a shower because you look homeless. I haven’t been to Minneapolis in years but I don’t think the homeless there have championship belts.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam

Lynn is with RVD here. The fans are behind RVD as you would expect. It’s a bit surprising I guess because we know so much about Crimson and have so many reasons to care about him right? An early Rolling Thunder attempt misses and Crimson gets a suplex for two. Van Dam starts kicking and there’s Rolling Thunder. Rob is holding his throat for some reason and Crimson adds in a neckbreaker for two.

Out to the floor and Van Dam uses some nice speed stuff to take Crimson down. Taz starts using bad lines to plug the sponsor like “he’s going to need some insurance after that. Better call Direct!” Back inside and Crimson takes over with basic strikes, namely elbows and forearms to the head. Off to a cravate which makes sense with the throat/neck stuff earlier.

That doesn’t last long and Van Dam gets the split legged moonsault but can’t get the kick off the top. Crimson gets something like a Falcon Arrow for two. Red Sky is countered by a kick to the chest. There’s the spinwheel kick from Van Dam which sets up the Five Star to NO reaction. The cover is delayed though and it only gets two. Tenay sounds like he’s ordering dinner when he calls the kickout. Crimson spears him down for two. In a weird ending, RVD misses a spin kick and Crimson hits Red Sky. He covers but Lynn comes in to break it up for the obvious DQ, costing RVD ten points.

Rating: C. Not horrible here but they tried I guess. The crowd flat out does not care about Crimson and that’s going to be a big problem moving forward. The problem is that we’ve been given zero reason to care about him through the form of promos or backstory so why are we supposed to want him to win? That hasn’t been addressed and it’s a problem.

Post match RVD yells at Lynn, saying he cost him a lot of points in the Series. Lynn apologizes so there’s No Surrender for you.

Anderson talks about Immortal being awesome. He curses a lot and makes noises that a 4 year old would make. This is so stupid I can’t comprehend it.

We recap Fourtune vs. Immortal. It’s a six man tag that is happening because they’re factions and we need a match on PPV between them.

Scott Steiner/Abyss/Gunner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian/Daniels

And remember Daniels has been talking to AJ about something that hasn’t been established yet. Gunner vs. Kaz to start us off and they hit the mat. Kaz grabs a front facelock and Gunner taps. It doesn’t count for no apparent reason other than that isn’t what’s supposed to happen or something. Off to Steiner who shoves Banderas around a bit. Crucifix gets two for Kaz.

Off to AJ as Fourtune is all in black/gold trim here. Steiner is feeling rather colorful with his language tonight. The super best friends double team Steiner a bit and the bald dude comes in for Fourtune. Off to the Monster in a match that doesn’t sound very appealing. Daniels tries a springboard something and falls flat on his face. He does manage to get a foot to hit Abyss so it’s not a total loss.

Triple teaming puts Abyss down but Daniels charges into a spinebuster. Off to Gunner who throws on a chinlock. Steiner comes in with a suplex and it’s off to Abyss quickly. Immortal likes to tag a lot. Daniels rolls through to tag in Kaz who snaps off a rana which Abyss sells really strangely. Flux Capacitor gets two. Tornado DDT sends Abyss to the floor where Kaz hits a huge dive onto him.

Everything breaks down and they head to the floor. Steiner and Gunner set up a table to try to validate this as a hardcore show. Back to normal now with Steiner beating up Kaz. There are the push-ups. Gunner comes back in and continues to be as basic as possible while still trying to be all tough and evil. Off to Abyss as this has been domination for awhile.

Kaz manages to get a DDT to take Abyss down and there’s the hot tag to AJ. AJ fights off Immortal and hits a springboard cross body on Abyss for two. Styles Clash is countered as is Abyss’ chokeslam. Pele puts Abyss in 619 position but Gunner makes a save from a pin. Everything breaks down again and Daniels hits an STO into a Lionsault. AJ goes up but gets crotched and Gunner tries to F5 him through the table. Daniels saves and both he and Gunner go through the table. AJ hits a springboard Pele on Abyss for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but definitely the best match of the night so far. No tension or issue between AJ and Daniels at all so that was kind of odd. Still though it was a nice change of pace after being bored out of my mind for 90 minutes coming into this. Not a classic but this was fine for what it was.

Immortal yells at Abyss post match.

Ray says there’s only room for one of them in Immortal. Everyone makes mistakes. He carried D-Von around for 15 years. JB’s parents made a mistake when they had him. Even Hogan and Bischoff made a mistake when they let Anderson into Immortal. Anderson is going to get beaten out of Immortal.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray. Basically it’s about Ray volunteering Anderson to face Kurt Angle and then costing him the match. This is a contest over who can be a bigger jerk for the most part.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Ray comes out first and talks trash to Taz for some reason. He also sets for an attack on Anderson, who I guess doesn’t notice the lack of Bully Ray in the ring even though he would have come out second. Another thing I’ve always wondered: how do guys not get in fights when they’re waiting to come through the curtain? In a cool bit, Ray sneaks up on him and Anderson says into the mic “Yeah I know he’s behind me” and turns around to slug Ray.

After he beats on him for a bit he repeats his name. I’ll give him a pass for the cool bit before that. This might be a street fight but I’m not sure. They brawl around the railing and I don’t think a bell has rung yet. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Ray goes into the post/steps at the same time. Into the ring now and Ray gets a shot in to take over. Anderson takes forever to get up from a pretty normal shot.

Big chop in the corner as Ray has dominated the in ring aspect of this. I’m pretty surprised by that as he’s certainly more of a brawler than a wrestler. Side slam gets two. Ray hammers away and talks more trash which motivates Anderson. It’s about time something did. They slug it out from their knees and Bubba tries the Bubba Bomb which is countered into a DDT by Anderson to put both guys down.

It’s boo/yay time with Anderson being the popular and therefore successful one. Ray starts no selling stuff as clotheslines and shoulder blocks have no effect on him. An elbow does though as does a neckbreaker which gets two. Mic Check is blocked as is a release Rock Bottom. Another Mic Check is avoided but Anderson steals Amazing Red’s double spin kick for two.

Swanton hits for two as Ray reverses into a crucifix for two of his own. Cutter gets two for Ray. He grabs the chain but Kenderson picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Instead of the rollthrough that he usually does though he falls backwards by accident, adding yet another to the insane list of botches tonight. Ray tumbles into the ropes which gets two for some reason.

Ray tries to walk out but that doesn’t work all that well. Anderson is kind of wrestling face here by default, which of course messes up the whole dynamic of him but it’s TNA with a tweener so who cares? Anderson has the chain now which is quickly taken away. The delay allows Ray to low blow him and roll him up for the pin. Not wild on that ending.

Rating: C. The match was good but at the same time it never clicked as well as I think they were shooting for. Anderson needs the exact right kind of guy to get him to have a great match and Ray isn’t that kind of guy. Also the double heel thing didn’t work for the most part because Anderson tried to be a heel but he was cheered because he had to be by default. Not bad but not great.

Hogan and Bischoff are here. Gee how nice of them to grace us with their presence. Hogan isn’t happy and yells at Abyss, saying he isn’t a little cruiserweight out there. Bischoff yells at him too. Ray comes up and asks if they saw that and they don’t care. Immortal goes to have a meeting but Bischoff tells Abyss to stay there. If this leads to anything other than Abyssamania I’m happy.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

TNA named them that so don’t yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It’s officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.

Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.

Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it’s been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.

Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it’s time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!

Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain…again.

Rating: C. Match was again just ok but at the same time, what are they waiting for with Beer Money? They’ve already had the longest title reign in the history of the belts and they’ve beaten everyone that there is to beat. Knowing TNA they’ll just hand the titles to part of Immortal but whatever. They need to drop the titles but I have no idea who they could do that to.  The back injury was never touched on at all and Storm looked fine.

Angle says he needs to beat Sting to be considered the best ever. Angle says he won’t lose and that’s it.

Hype video for the main event which is more or less a clash of the titans. Angle allegedly has never beaten Sting which is false but he did say he’s never beaten him without help, so they’re covered. Angle insists it’s just business, which is never a safe line to say in wrestling.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

Big match intros fill in some time. Sting is in gray which is a weird look on him. Sting grabs the arm to start as this seems like it’s going to be a feeling out process to start. I think they’re going for the big epic match but that’s just not going to happen here. Angle grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere. The dueling chants are already going and Sting’s paint is like 1/3 off less than two minutes in.

Now Angle works on the arm. The gray isn’t working for Sting as it looks like he’s dusty. Sting escapes and works on the leg to set up for the Scorpion. Angle fights back and hammers away. The champ backdrops him over the top and out to the floor as things slow down a bit. Out to the floor for the usual railing stuff. Back inside and Angle grabs a Samoan Drop for two.

There’s a seated reverse chinlock as Angle works on the back a lot. Off to a slightly modified version of the same chinlock after a few quick covers. Sting pops out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. DDT gets two for the champ. Angle pops off the belly to belly for the same. Sting grabs the Death Drop and you would think Tenay was ordering lunch. Actually scratch that as picking the chicken salad would be more emphatic than that.

Rolling Germans by Angle get two. Tenay sounds like he doesn’t care at all about these covers and near falls. Moonsault misses so Sting hits an Angle Slam for two. There’s the Scorpion which isn’t sat down on at all. He finally makes a rope but Sting hits the Splash but the second one misses. Angle Slam hits for two and no reaction from anyone. Kurt charges at Sting in the corner but his shoulder hits the post.

Sting throws on the ankle lock and they speed things up a bit. Angle puts on the Scorpion Deathlock because that’s how Angle matches roll. Here are some more rolling Germans and Kurt grabs the ankle lock. Sting rolls through for two. And there goes the referee due to a misses enziguri by Kurt. Well it IS a TNA main event. Heeee’re Hulk with a chair. He gets the best reaction of the night and sets to pop Sting with the chair. Angle grabs it from him and Hogan leaves. Kurt blasts Sting with the chair and the Angle Slam gives him the world title.

Rating: C+. Good match overall but the crowd did not care for the most part and neither did Tenay. Not a horrible match but they didn’t get going like I think they wanted to. The finishers were never going to finish it and we were just waiting on the ref bump for the screwy ending. Good enough match but Kurt has had better matches in his sleep.

Hogan isn’t happy but he isn’t furious either. TUNE INTO IMPACT BABY!!!

Overall Rating: D. I’m sorry but no. Some of the matches were ok I guess but nothing other than Angle vs. Sting felt like it had any build at all. This show was boring and not hardcore in the slightest. No idea why they kept that name this year because there wasn’t even a street fight or anything like that on the card. Angle as champion will probably last until BFG with a match vs. RVD or something but that’s not exactly thrilling. It feels like we saw this two years ago, and that’s not good. Bad show.

Results

Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries – Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries

Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita – Widow’s Peak to Rosita

D’Angelo Dinero b. Devon – Rollup

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after spitting mist into James’ face

Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered

AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner – Springboard Pele to Abyss

Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson – Rollup

Beer Money b. Mexican America – Superkick to Anarquia

Kurt Angle b. Sting – Angle Slam

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I couldn’t find a way to watch it so I’ll have to see it tomorrow.  Very sorry about the delay and I’ll be sure to have Summerslam up on time next week.

Destination X 2011
Date: July 10, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

It’s the X-Division show as the division that has gone from the focal point of the company is now relegated to a show that gets four weeks of buildup!  Anyway the main event is Daniels vs. AJ in a face vs. face respect match.  Daniels has had the seeds planted for a heel turn though so it’s a distinct possibility.  The six sided ring is back for tonight only and there are a lot of X-Division style matches.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how these guys have been around since the beginning and set a new standard in wrestling.  Abyss gives a voiceover about the Art of War and we get parts of Kendrick’s promo from Impact about how various religions view life and God.

Samoa Joe vs. Kazarian

Kaz goes straight at him at the bell and Joe is like dude no and chops away.  Kaz escapes the Clutch and Joe tries to fly, only to have Kaz move.  Joe doesn’t crash though and takes Kaz down on the floor.  Kaz tries to dive off the apron and Joe just steps to the side.  I love when he does that.  Back inside now and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner.  Kaz tries a springboard move and lands in an atomic drop.

Almost all Joe so far as he takes Kaz down again.  Headbutt by Joe hurts a lot more because he’s Samoan.  There’s a knee drop for two.  Joe puts him in Musclebuster position but chops him instead.  Kaz finally gets something of note with a springboard dropkick to put both guys down.  Joe hammers away but walks into a slam.  Yeah just a slam.  There’s that spinning legdrop that has a cool name that I can’t think of.

Slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz.  Joe goes up and Kaz gets an enziguri to stop him.  Kaz tries to load up the Flux Capacitor (C4) but they tumble out to the floor and Joe hits a suicide dive to take over again.  Back in and Joe hammers on the back a bit.  Kaz tries the Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.  Off to an STF by Joe which is transitioned into a Crossface which doesn’t work either.  Joe finally gets the choke and Kaz somehow makes the rope after being in the hold long enough to probably kill him.  Joe argues with the referee and Kaz rolls him up for the weak pin.

Rating: B-. This would have been higher with a better finish.  I mean it came out of nowhere and had zero heat.  I don’t know what Joe did to go on this losing streak and be pushed this far down the card but he must have done something akin to giving away Foley winning the title.  Anyway, good match up until the ending.  With another three minutes or so this could have been awesome.

We’re going to look back at AJ vs. Daniels throughout the years with the first one being from Unbreakable.  So I guess we’re skipping the 2-3 years of them feuding before that?

Daniels arrives.

Eric Young is at a convention of some sort and runs into Curry Man, Suicide and Sangriento signing autographs.  He wants a partner for tonight and Shark Boy shows up and will be his partner.  Curry Man can’t do it because he’s got a Fire Championship match tomorrow in Tokyo vs. Cody Deaner.  Oh dear.

Douglas Williams vs. Mark Haskins

Haskins is a British guy making his debut.  He looks like John Morrison mixed with someone far less interesting.  This is the open challenge.  Williams says the other Brits (minus his opponent) can leave.  He praises Haskins but says he’s in over his head here.  Williams is in trunks here which is kind of weird to see.  They start off fast with a pinfall reversal sequence and the overly annoying fans chant USA.

Nice technical stuff to start and Haskins sends him to the floor.  He follows him out and hammers away which doesn’t last long.  Williams takes over back inside and slaps him in the face.  Clothesline takes Haskins down again and Williams throws on an inverted Gory Special.  They slug it out with Williams taking over.  He can’t hit Rolling Chaos Theory and here comes Haskins.  Cutter gets two.

Williams goes up but jumps into a superkick.  Haskins goes up this time and then does it again.  I mean he comes off and goes back up again.  He tries a shooting star but totally misses, allowing Williams to get the rollup for the win.  Fans were REALLY not impressed there at the end with Haskins.  Williams shakes his hand post match.

Rating: C. Not bad but with all the hype Haskins got, this was pretty pedestrian.  Also not much of a match as far as an open challenge.  I’d have wanted to see more than that as far as star power but it wasn’t bad.  Just kind of there for the most part but I’ve seen far worse.  Haskins isn’t what he’s cracked up to be but he tried.

Austin Aries is with So Cal Val and says her outfit isn’t an outfit of the year candidate but he’ll give it about three and a half stars.  He talks to all the fans and all those watching on illegal streams, hoping they all choke.  Aries says he’s the best and everyone will find that out tonight.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young/Shark Boy

This is a bonus match.  I can never remember which Buck is which.  Eric and Shark Boy tag about five times before the match starts.  Ok so Jeremy is the blonde.  Got it.  Sharky stomps a mudhole in him early and hammers away in the corner.  There’s the Thesz Press and an elbow.  Eric comes in and beats on both guys a bit.  Off to Sharky who bites Max.  Yep it’s a comedy match.

Jeremy throws on a chinlock as Sharky is still ridiculously over.  Clothesline misses and Shark Boy gets a shot to the back of the head to put both guys down.  Young pulls his tights down to shift to trunks and gets the hot tag.  Gen Me takes over again and a bulldog gets two on Young.  Stunner by Shark Boy sets up a wheelbarrow suplex into a reverse neckbreaker by Young for the pin on Max.  Think Lethal’s Lethal Injection but with a wheelbarrow suplex.

Rating: C-. Just a comedy tag match to fill in some time.  I still hate what they’re doing with the midcard title as it’s being used as a comedy prop like Santino did to the IC Title a few years ago.  Not bad here but it’s really just a filler match and nothing all that great.  Shark Boy’s popularity is still strong though.

Clip of Daniels/Styles winning the tag titles.

Daniels and AJ are excited for the main event.

Zema Ion says he’ll win.

Same video on Ultimate X from Thursday.

The announcers talk for a bit to fill in time while the structure is put up.

Shannon Moore vs. Amazing Red vs. Alex Shelley vs. Robbie E

Ultimate X with the winner being #1 contender to the X Title.  Things start out quickly of course and Robbie makes a fast run for the X.  Red gets the always sweet double spin kick.  Robbie looks like he’s having a seizure or something.  Shelley and Red put Robbie on the floor before Shelley beats up Red a bit.  Shelley climbs on Moore’s shoulders but Robbie makes the stop.  Robbie is sitting in the corner and Moore is put in the Tree of Woe at the same time.

Shelley goes for the X but Red saves.  Robbie clears the ring but gets caught in the ring skirt and pummeled by Moore.  Moore and Shelley have a nice little sequence resulting in a moonsault off the stage by Moore to take Alex out.  Red is alone in the ring but Moore gets in quickly to stop him.  Shelley gets crotched and Red gets a shooting star off the shoulders of Moore in a cool spot.

Moore and Red collide so Robbie goes up now.  Red saves of course and fires off some kicks to hurt Robbie.  Robbie manages to throw Red over the top onto the other two guys to clear the ring other than himself again.  The fans are for Red here.  Robbie almost gets there but stops to fist pump, allowing Red to hit a springboard dropkick to take him down.  Moore goes up above the X and on top of the truss.  This is always scary.  I’m terrified of heights so this is really intense for me.

Moore lowers himself onto the X as Red is almost there.  Shelley is trying to catch up and Moore is down on the X now thank goodness.  Shelley kicks him down and casually wins this.  One of the fastest Ultimate X matches ever and I think that might not have been the planned finish.  Came out of nowhere with no spark at all.  Shelley looked like he was waiting on someone to stop him before he pulled it down..

Rating: C. That’s a low grade for Ultimate X, not in general.  Not much here as it was really paint by numbers out there.  I really think the ending didn’t happen as it was planned as things just kind of came to an end rather than with any kind of big spot.  Either way, not a bad match but just kind of bland, especially with no story and having an Ultimate X match for the sake of an Ultimate X match.

Clip of Daniels vs. AJ from Final Resolution 2009 which was good if I remember right.

Low Ki says he’s proven himself for his entire career and he’ll do it tonight for everyone ever told they’re too small etc.

We recap RVD vs. Jerry Lynn which is really just a respect match because they had a bunch of matches that I’ve never considered as great as most people claim they are.  This was supposed to be the main event of Hardcore Justice but Lynn hurt his back.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

They actually say ECW.  Eh not like anyone is watching so no lawyers will hear it.  Apparently Lynn and JB used to be roommates.  That’s not something I want to picture.  Lot of stalling to start as they circle each other.  Rob grabs a headlock to start and they use a sequence they used in every ECW match they had and built on it every next match.  As always it results in a standoff.

The fans are totally split here.  They speed things up and Lynn gets taken down by a legsweep for two.  Off to an armbar as we hear about Forever Hardcore, JB’s ECW documentary.  Rob misses a kick in the corner but hits a spinwheel kick to Lynn as Lynn goes up.  Superplex is blocked and Lynn tries a tornado DDT to the apron which doesn’t work.  Back in the ring with Rob still in control.

Both guys miss a ton of stuff (due to counters, not botches) and it’s another stalemate.  Rob gets a kick to send him to the floor and teases a dive but stays in the ring.  He holds the ropes open for Jerry and actually lets him back in.  There’s the ECW chant that is required.  Lynn takes a handshake and sends Van Dam to the railing, more or less turning heel mid match.

Lynn hits a running flip off the apron to take Rob out again.  That gets two back in the ring.  Jerry hammers away some more and we hit the chinlock.  German suplex puts Van Dam down again.  Clothesline gets two.  Rob fires back with a kick to the head and Rolling Thunder for two.  Another spin kick sends Lynn to the floor again.  Rob hits the spinning legdrop to Lynn while he’s on the railing.

Slingshot legdrop gets no cover and Rob goes up.  Lynn gets up and shoves Rob off the top and we’re back on the floor again.  Been there quite often in this match.  Just as I was thinking at least this match doesn’t have a bunch of weapons, Lynn grabs a chair.  Rob tries a leg sweep but Lynn hits a Fameasser onto the chair.  Rob is busted open and Lynn gets two off of it.

Rob tries a spinning sunset flip out of the corner (think Booker T) but Lynn throws him across the ring onto the chair for two.  Rob gets a Van Daminator and hits the Five Star out of nowhere for the pin.  Has he been taking lessons from Sting in how to finish a match out of nowhere?

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but the majority of it was just like any other match.  Lynn turning mid match is definitely a good thing because face vs. face gets very boring in a hurry.  I still don’t get the appeal of this pair but I kind of liked this one better than their ECW stuff because it wasn’t as sloppy.  Started slow but it was getting much better at the end.

Jack Evans quotes Eminem and says this is his chance.

Austin Aries vs. Low Ki vs. Zema Ion vs. Jack Evans

Christy of course messes up something, in this case Aries’ entrance.  We get some clips of their qualifying matches during each guy’s entrance.  Winner gets a contract of course.  No tagging here thank goodness.  Aries gets a quick two count on Ion as the fans chant “everybody.”  Aries and Low Ki (Kaval for the uneducated) square off and Evans starts flipping.

Spin kick by Evans gets two on Ion.  Low Ki takes over again and hammers on Evans in the corner.  Aries takes Low Ki down and uses some Hogan in late 90s offense for some reason.  He beats up everyone but takes a triple dropkick to send him down.  Evans starts flipping again and hits a dropsault to get two on Ion.  Ion gets his turn to be on offense and gets a bunch of two counts.

Aries takes Ion down and has another showdown with Low Ki.  After getting attacked they both throw submissions on the guys that jumped them.  They manage to yell insults at each other while they have the holds.  Ok that was cool.  With the others outside they argue again and chop it out.  Aries loads up the brainbuster but Low Ki escapes and gets a big kick to Aries’ back.  Evans and Ion are back in now and Ion gets a knee to Evans’ face for two.  Pendulum elbow gets two for Aries.

Ion clears the ring and takes over but Aries stops a dive.  Aries tries a suicide dive but Low Ki gets a fast kick up to send him flying backwards.  Evans comes in and flips a lot but spins around too much as Aries takes him down with a spinning forarm.  The fans chant sign them all.  Ion and Aries are the only ones up right now.  Aries gets a neckbreaker on the rope to put Ion down.  Low Ki gets a cartwheel into a kick to knock Aries off the top and also get two.

Evans blocks a Warrior’s Way to Aries with a rana, getting two.  He calls for the 630 but Ion breaks it up.  Ion hits the 450 on Low Ki but Aries makes the save.  Using the distraction, Evans fires off the 630 but eats knees.  Aries hammers on Evans and hits the brainbuster on Low Ki to win the contract.  Probably the best choice.

Rating: B. Can’t really complain here as this was what the X-Division was built on.  The fans got their flips and probably the best possible outcome here with Aries arguably being the best guy here.  I’d expect to see all of them again in the future which is probably the best thing, especially with how weak the division has been lately.  Fun match.

Aries asks Val if she’s surprised.  He takes the contract and leaves.

Abyss talks about the Art of War and how he’ll keep the title.  He implies he ate his missing teeth.

We recap Abyss vs. Kendrick.  Abyss took the title in an attempt to kill the division and Kendrick is fighting for the honor and tradition of it or something.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

Kendrick fires away at the legs to start and that gets him nowhere.  A cross body is totally no sold which is a cool visual.  Kendrick hammers away but none of it’s working.  Chokeslam is teased but Kendrick bites the fingers to escape.  Kendrick is sent to the floor as Abyss asks if this is it.  Fan: “Nobody likes you Abyss!”  Abyss keeps hammering back in the ring and stops to read a few pages.

Kendrick keeps kicking at the legs and that doesn’t work at all.  Instead Abyss hammers him down in the corner as this has more or less been one sided.  Time for more reading!  A right hand makes him drop the book and apparently that was enough to open him up.  Abyss is all ticked off and Kendrick is able to fight back, hitting a dropkick to send him to the floor.

Back in the ring and Kendrick gets a missile dropkick for two.  Sliced Bread is countered into Shock Treatment which gets two.  Ref is bumped in a really stupid looking spot.  Sliced Bread hits but there’s no referee.  Here’s Bischoff to solid heat.  He yells at Kendrick who decks him.  Immortal runs out and the beating is on.

The X guys run out and get tossed with ease.  They get Kendrick on his own and here are more X guys to fight Immortal.  They clear the ring as I REALLY hope the match doesn’t continue after this.  The ring is cleared out and a chokeslam is countered into a victory roll for Kendrick to win the title.  You know, because the referee didn’t notice FIFTEEN PEOPLE IN THE RING.  Confetti goes off but we’ve got another match to go because Brian Kendrick can’t win a main event match.

Rating: C. Match was pretty boring and despite one of the dumbest moments I’ve ever seen and that this match should have ended the show PERIOD, this was a solid feel good moment and absolutely had to happen on this show.  Otherwise this wouldn’t have made a bit of sense.  It worked though and while the match was boring, the ending worked, lack of common sense aside.

Video on AJ vs. Daniels which I’m sure you’ve gotten the point of in all the talking they’ve done already.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Apparently the winner is best X-Division Wrestler EVER, despite AJ’s resume blowing Daniels’ away.  Christy does big match intros again.  Apparently these two named their kids after each other.  That’s borderline creepy.  The latest chant: “Wrestling. YAY!  Hulk Hogan.  Boo!”  Give me a break.  Lots of basic back and forth stuff to start with them knowing each other really well being the idea.

AJ works the arm a bit and they speed it up quickly.  Both guys work the arm and it comes down to another stalemate after about 5 minutes.  They shake hands and AJ puts another armbar on.  The fans are split again.  They speed things up and Daniels hits the floor.  They have a TON of time here so this is going to be a very slow build.  Daniels keeps trying to speed things up but AJ keeps going with the armbar.

They slowly start cranking things up as Daniels takes over.  He works AJ over for a good while but AJ sends him to the floor, adding in a plancha that looked almost like Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell.  Back inside now and AJ hammers away again.  AJ works on the arm AGAIN but at least is using a Fujiwara Armbar here.  Helps a lot when they mix things up.  Out to the apron and AJ counters into a suplex on the apron.

Daniels takes over on the floor.  Back in he chops away at the back and gets a neckbreaker for two.  Pinfall reversal sequence ends in AJ being caught in a Crossface.  Death Valley Driver gets two and Daniels is getting frustrated.  They chop it out and AJ hits an enziguri to put both guys down.  AJ slips off the top and crashes down, letting Daniels get two.  Daniels goes up but gets caught in a Torture Rack which AJ spins out into a powerbomb for two.

Bad Downward Spiral by Daniels sets up the Koji Clutch to AJ.  They’re getting tired here.  AJ makes the rope as this probably needs to end soon.  Daniels uses his variety of strikes but still can’t pin him.  The tape finally comes off Daniels’ arms which is good as it had been dangling for awhile.  AJ snap mares him off the top for two.  He can’t get Angel’s Wings or the Clash (AJ can’t that is) so Daniels hits an STO and release Rock Bottom but the BME eats boot.

Styles Clash out of nowhere gets two as this is nearly half an hour long now.  Angel’s Wings gets two and Daniels is ticked.  They fight to the corner but Daniels can’t hit the Angel’s Wings from up there.  AJ busts out the Spiral Tap but it doesn’t look as good as it usually does.  That’s enough for the pin though at nearly half an hour.

Rating: B. Another good match here but I don’t think it got as epic as they were hoping.  It was one of the longest matches I can ever remember in TNA but at the same time they got sloppy later on in it.  It was good, but I still think the title match should have closed the show.  I’ve never been a big fan of these matches but they’re usually pretty good.  Good choice to end the show, but it’s not like it means anything more than bragging rights.  Also this went too long and the fans were losing interest late in it.

Daniels won’t shake his hand post match.  Ok yes he will.  And that’s it.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very subjective grade and I won’t defend it that much because some people will love it, some will hate it and some will find it at every point in between.  The idea was an all X-Division PPV and they certainly did that.  However, the first probably hour or so was just average at best.  The three main matches delivered, but the match order didn’t work for me.

With the story coming in being Bischoff wanting to kill the X-Division, having the X-Division overcome him should have been the main event and closing scene of the show.  The fourway was good and what the X-Division is built upon.  The main event was good as well and even very good at times.  All around this show worked and was a great showcase of the X Division, but it’s not a blow away show like I think they were shooting for.

The main problem is that this isn’t a show that I would predict meaning much.  It’ll probably be referenced for a few weeks and some of the guys will say how they showed how awesome it was, and then the division will go right back to what it was: a title match thrown on here and there and an occasional bonus match on PPV as an opener.  That’s the nature of the beast though and it’s more or less reality.  That’s probably what hurts this the most, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Results

Kazarian b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Douglas Williams b. Mark Haskins – Pin after a missed shooting star press

Eric Young/Shark Boy b. Generation Me – Wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker to Max Buck

Alex Shelley b. Robbie E, Shannon Moore and Amazing Red – Shelley pulled down the X

Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Five Star Frog Splash

Austin Aries b. Zema Ion, Jack Evans and Low Ki – Brainbuster to Low Ki

Brian Kendrick b. Abyss – Victory Roll

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Spiral Tap

Destination X 2010
Date: March 21, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So the focus is back on the X Division here as we have Ultimate X and a tag team ladder match to take a look at this time. I watched this show live and I liked what I saw for the most part. We have AJ vs. Abyss in the main event which if it’s anything like their cage match about 5 years ago it will be great. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is thankfully about the X Division with Daniels talking about how awesome he is. And now we’re done with that and talking about the rest of the card. Of course it’s over the top since this is a TNA video.

Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels

Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick. There’s your first ladder.

Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing worth anything from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us.

Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice. Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW!

Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does. In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it.

Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the stupid thing.

Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match.

We talk about A.J. vs. Abyss for no apparent reason. I can’t get over this ring thing. It’s just idiotic to say the least. And here’s Ric Flair for no reason at all. Chelsea brings him out in a wheelchair. To the shock of no one, Flair is ticked off. I know some people love this, but it’s saddening to see him look like this much of a joke anymore.

He was so great and now he’s just a blithering old man. The ask your mother jokes are still kind of funny though. Seriously though, he’s just a crazy man that won’t let go of the past now.

We cut to Hogan and Abyss and Hogan likes him a lot. Shocking isn’t it? It continues to confuse me that he’s a former world champion here and all of a sudden he’s’ never accomplished anything. The ring is just stupid. Is it supposed to make him super powered or something? He looks like someone attacked him with ketchup and mustard. Bischoff comes in and he has limited hair now. If nothing else the jokes Abyss and Hogan make are kind of funny.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Daffney

Tara is just made of hotness. Apparently Daffney is the “challengemer”. Sure why not Tenay. The zombie hot thing is hit or miss for me with her. She does the splits for her entrance which is unique apparently. I guess if Melina is hurt that makes it unique. Tara goes straight for her and we’re off and running early. Tara’s shirt comes off and I start smiling. At least she didn’t do the dance for the moonsault this time.

It’s ok when she’s dominating but not when she’s ticked off. Tara busts out a Tarantula which at least fits really well. Daffney hooks a messed up submission hold which is unique. This is a bit sloppy but it’s very nice to see women having a match where it looks like they know what they’re doing and you have a legitimate flow to the match rather than just moving from spot to spot, most of which would be blown.

Daffney doesn’t get to wrestle much but she’s not bad when she does. Widow’s Peak ends it. Daffney steals the spider afterwards so the feud continues.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It’s nothing great, but it was perfectly watchable. Daffney surprised me in there and Tara of course is dependable so that works out fine. I wish they didn’t do the spider thing as there’s no real point to continuing this since Tara got a clean pin but whatever.

Brutus Magnus is changing his name to just Magnus. This turns into a discussion of Frankenstein. Sure why not.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

We get a highlight package on Ultimate X with a bunch of people talking about how dangerous it is. We’ll ignore that none of them have ever been in one of these matches.

The Machine Guns talk about how great they are and say Generation Me need their Hardy Boys Starter Kit. That’s rather amusing and the crowd laughed hard at it.

Taz says he was looking at the structure earlier when he was hanging in the rafters. Do I even need to make fun of that?

Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer messes up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.

Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking heck? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.

There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.

Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.

In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!

Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.

The highlight package is great of course.

We recap the Band vs. Nash and Young. Seriously, could they make Nash’s heel turn more obvious? I certainly don’t think so. Oddly enough Nash throws a left handed punch in the video. That’s rather odd.

Hall and Nash say they’re ready and use the term Wolfpack a lot. Is this a Hangover commercial? WOW that was weak. Hall is in passable shape here which is shocking. Waltman steals my Crosby and Stills joke so I hate him even more now.

Scott Hall/Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash/Eric Young

The heels get no music. Ok then. Waltman is named Syxx-Pac here but that’s just not being written. Hall has a partner yet he’s a lone wolf. Figure that one out. I mean why would he be channeling Barry Windham? There’s a sign all night that says PG Sucks. That line and theory just amuses me. The Survey says the fans want Hall and Waltman to have contracts.

Why does that not surprise me? Young is just billed from Canada. Is that the best they can do? Pac and Young start us out so Pac will be bearable here. He’s always been better against small guys. I just have no reason to believe he’s this giant killer that everyone swears he is. Hall comes in and does all his old stuff. Seriously I’m sitting here calling every move he’s going to do down to the second.

Young and Pac botch the heck out of a backdrop. Waltman hits a decent over the top rope dive. No Nash at all yet as they have the whole thing so telegraphed it’s pathetic. Seriously, this is boring simply because we know what’s coming. Waltman sprays paint in Young’s eyes. Yeah I’m sure the referee sees nothing odd about that at all since he was with Nash the whole time. Nash gets the tag and there it is.

Even Taz sounds bored with it. All three finishers hit and it’s over. They do the paint outline of Young on the mat which makes the whole thing look stupid. We even get the Wolfpack theme song minus the lyrics. We’ll ignore the Young push being crushed for three old guys that were a unit 12 years ago.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was so boring. There was no point to the match as it was all about the turn that we all knew was coming. When a TNA crowd sounds bored out of their mind, you know you screwed up something bad. Also, it was so much of a swerve that they had the Wolfpack music not only ready but remixed without the lyrics. That’s a REAL swerve.

Angle burns a picture of Anderson. Ok then.

X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams

So on a show where the X-Division is being highlighted, the X Title match is going on about halfway through the show? Sure why not. Why is Moore getting PPV time when Hardy and Van Dam and Pope and Sting aren’t again? Has Moore ever won anything? Also, why do we need both him and Jesse Neal? I seriously couldn’t tell them apart if I had to. Moore apparently reads from the book of DILLIGAF.

Wow that’s idiotic but at least it’s something minor. We get a Cravate so I’m happy. It’s a weird kind of side headlock that Chris Hero uses a lot in case you’re wondering. It looks like you’re setting for a snapmare but you never flip the guy over. Williams is a good striker if nothing else. The crowd finally wakes up a bit. Williams reaches under the ring and gets a brick which gets the win. There needs to be an official Under the Ring Checker.

Seriously, people just throw EVERYTHING under there. Moore is allegedly bleeding but it doesn’t look like much blood to me. Post match we get a semi-shoot promo from Williams where he whines about how the division isn’t about wrestling anymore but high fliers so he’s going to change that. He goes and steals a woman’s purse to put lipstick on Moore. Ok then. The fans chant for RVD and no one comes of course. I would argue Hogan and his booking are what’s wrong with the division but that’s just me.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here as not only did no one care but the match wasn’t that good. Seriously, what in the world is the appeal of Shannon Moore? I seriously don’t get it. He never wins anything, his look is stupid and he’s nothing special in the ring. Total filler match.

We recap Morgan and Hernandez vs. Beer Money. This was just after Beer Money turned heel on television while complaining about not being on television. I flat out do not like this angle at all as it’s making the tag titles look stupid kind of. If you insist on turning Morgn heel, at least wait awhile first.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Beer Money

Sweet goodness have the champions fallen far. I like the opening of Beer Money’s theme song if nothing else. Dang that outline looks stupid. Morgan and Roode start us out. And so much for that as Hernandez is tagged in maybe 10 seconds into the match. How did they miss the boat with Hernandez?

So basically the champions can’t be hurt and the challengers have zero chance here. Ah ok that’s better as Hernandez gets beaten down. Hernandez holds Storm up in a suplex for about 25 seconds. That’s very scary. So basically Morgan is cocky and comes in when Hernandez has beaten the other guys down.

Morgan blocks a big dive from Hernandez and then the Supermex gets hit with an enziguri, Once he remembers to sell it, Roode goes way up in my eyes with a Blockbuster. I love that move. After more arguing, the size and power are too much and a modified Dominator ends this. Morgan kicks Hernandez afterwards.

Rating: D+. This was all angle and not much about the match at all. That’s ok I guess as it set up a bigger one the next night. This was ok but nothing great at all. Beer Money isn’t as good as people say they are but they’re ok. I still don’t like the champions being together but that’s neither here nor there I guess. Decent but I wanted it to end.

We recap Angle vs. Anderson and their game of pass the medal. The promos have been good but it’s been repetitive with the medal being the focus of the thing over and over again.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

We have 53 minutes left so this is going to be LONG. We start off slow which is odd as they’ve fought before but that’s fine. The crowd is clearly not as hot as they were during the ladder or Ultimate X match. That’s not particularly a good thing but to be fair it means they put on a good match earlier. Much like he did with Shane at KOTR 2001, Angle does the volunteering to let Anderson get a free hold on him.

Naturally, Angle wins here. Angle is outwrestling him here which is what you would expect of him obviously. Dang the bald one can throw a punch when he wants to. Anderson works on the arm but that doesn’t work very well. Ok maybe it does. It’s so hard to tell at times. This has slowed down a lot and it’s not helping much at all. If nothing else Angle can still do a decent belly to belly. Naturally the Angle Slam gets two.

When was the last time that actually worked? Mic Check and tights get two. Angle busts out a freaking frog splash and it wasn’t bad at all. There goes the referee as Anderson hits a belly to back suplex. Oh ok he spun about two inches so it’s an Angle Slam. Got it. Angle gets his medal back. Yeah I don’t care at this point either. He then does the same thing that he criticized Anderson for over the last few months.

Oh him being a face makes it ok though right? That’s the Hulk Hogan principle I believe. Ankle Lock ends it a few seconds later. Anderson was more or less worthless here. He was ok looking but this was very one sided. Anderson blasts the crowd afterwards. He says his name about ten times so this has to be a good promo right?

Rating: C-. Not bad, but really Anderson never had any real chance to win. Like I said, he looked ok but there was zero drama here. That’s never a good thing, especially in a long match like this. Either way, not bad or anything, just not that exciting.

We recap the Abyss/AJ match, which is perhaps the weakest main event I could think of. I mean really, did ANYONE buy Abyss possibly winning the title here? I never once did as they’re going to likely give it to Pope at Lockdown. Basically Hogan gave up his HOF ring and it’s made Abyss powerful or something. Oh and he chokeslammed Flair through the ramp.

AJ says he’s not afraid and Abyss is stupid.

Abyss says he has a ring and thanks Hogan. Remember: Abyss was nothing without Hogan. This goes on way too long and ends with Hogan catchphrases.

TNA World Title: A.J. Styles vs. Abyss

Seriously, the Hogan worship needs to END. This is idiotic to say the least. Oh look: let’s take someone not like Hogan at all and turn him into someone that does Hogan things. It’s just stupid. He’s a monster. Let him be a monster! Flair and Chelsea are here too. Even big match intros aren’t helping this much. Yeah the red and yellow spots on his shirt are just idiotic looking.

Abyss does something SMART and jumps AJ during the intros. That’s a good and simple idea that works. We’re on the ramp now and Flair goes after Abyss. Seriously, what is he going to do? Remember, he’s in a wheelchair. See this is what makes AJ’s heel turn stupid: he can work great matches ON HIS OWN. AJ is a great wrestler and was world champion. WHY WOULD HE NEED A MENTOR???

That’s never been explained I don’t think. He’s the best in the world. What can Flair help him do? Become the best on Venus too? I mean if you factor Flair completely out of this, it’s a solid match based on AJ’s abilities alone. I just do not see what Flair adds to this at all. The other issue: Styles’ offense is based on face style moves. Seriously, he fights like a face does with the high flying stuff and all the kicks.

That’s what makes little sense to me. AJ works on the leg which makes perfect sense at least. The springboard forearm is caught. I love how AJ is outside in position for a springboard and Taz says he thinks he’s going for a springboard. Wow indeed. Pele brings AJ back into control. Question: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOE??? Seriously, we haven’t heard about him in like 2 months now and everyone is just not talking about him?

That makes no sense but whatever. It’s TNA so there we are. AJ hits Spiral Tap. CAN’T YOU SEE HOW EVIL HE IS??? The fans chant for the move and I shake my head at how they messed this up. Black Hole Slam gets two with almost no heat. And Flair maces the referee. A belt shot puts AJ down but it’s HOGAN FOR THE SAVE BABY!!! He brings Hebner with him so there’s your new referee I guess.

AJ continues to fail as a heel as he hits a springboard 450 splash but Abyss GIMMICK INFRINGEMENTS UP! Abyss chokeslams him through the ring and Hebner throws the match out. So let me get this straight. Abyss just crushed AJ after Hardy beat AJ on Impact and Pope gets AJ at the next PPV. Why is AJ being bought as champion again? Flair gets mace from Hogan.

Yeah the old men wandered out here looking for the Country Kitchen Buffet and wind up in the ring. And we get the idiotic ending to the show as they mace and punch Wolfe who also ran down and he stumbles over Flair who is on all fours to fall into the hole in the ring. WOW. Hogan leads Abyss around the ring like a canine and that’s it.

Rating: C-. The match itself was good, but the ending is straight up stupid. Seriously, they did a comedy sketch to end the PPV. Also, if AJ is more or less dead, why isn’t Abyss champion? Why does that make it a no contest? The whole thing just made limited sense to me. Also, AJ wrestles like a face, period. There is no reason for him to act like a heel at all. The ending here is the main issue though.

That and the lack of drama to it. Not once in the buildup or in the match did I expect Abyss to win, period. I think Pope gets the title at Lockdown. So what if his hype is mostly gone now due to the long delay? Since when does a champion need people to care about him right? Anyway enough of a tangent. This was an ok match with a flat out stupid ending. Don’t do this again TNA.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show in two parts. The first half or hour and a half or so is great stuff. The second half, as in everything after Ultimate X, is just weak. There is not a single match on there that got me going or was really that good. The crowd is noticeably weaker too and for a TNA crowd, that’s saying a lot. After this show, I realized the issue: nothing of note happened here.

No titles changed hands, a lot of the feuds are unresolved, we knew MCMG and Kazarian would be winning their matches and AJ looks weak. Tell me, what was settled here? If we’re supposed to wait for Lockdown to do that, why have this show at all? It’s not a bad show by any means. It’s just uneventful. There are two GREAT matches on it which is why this is a good show.

There are passable matches here, no doubt. But like I said, nothing definitive happened here. Anderson and Daffney are going to keep feuding with the respective faces, Abyss deserves another shot, and the tag champions still don’t get along. What came from this show? Oh wait: Nash joined the Band in the most predictable segment this year.

That’s the big thing from this show right? Again, what came out of this show at all, because I’m missing it. Check out the X Division gimmick matches, but other than that, you’ll miss nothing off this show at all.

Turning Point 2009
Date: November 15, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Back to Orlando for another show here, this time from just before Hogan and Bischoff arrived. AJ is champion here and the main event is against his old buddies in the form of Daniels and Joe. This is back in the period when the idea was AJ is awesome. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but the focus is definitely more on wrestling than drama, and that’s certainly a nice change of pace from today’s product. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about change and how everything goes through it. This of course transitions into a video about Hogan and then into the three way main event. Joe wants to be the best in the world and Daniels wants to prove that he’s as good as AJ. Also Desmond Wolfe has been jumping Angle so they have a match tonight.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Homicide

Red is champion here but Homicide has pinned him recently. Don West is with Red here. Oh and Homicide is in World Elite which I don’t’ think is going to matter at the end of the day. It’s still a six sided ring too which takes some time to adjust to again. Naturally things speed up quickly and they trade speed moves. Headscissors puts Homicide down but a clothesline turns Red inside out.

West is shouting LOUDLY, as in you can hear him and it’s not loud enough to be on a microphone. Red fights back and gets a seated clothesline for two. What can be described as a Swanton Bomb but falling (I think intentionally) misses and Homicide hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Homicide goes after West which gets him nowhere. The fans chant “no me gusta” (Spanish for I don’t like you) at Homicide in a funny bit.

West playing cheerleader is a funny bit. The coaching he’s giving sounds good too so it’s not as bad as it sounds. Homicide gets a palm shot ala Abdullah the Butcher and it’s off to a modified leg lock. Homicide lets it go and shouts to someone that we can’t see. Red is sat up on the top and they slug it out a bit from there, resulting in Red sending him down. Arm drag off the top by Red which is a cool move I don’t remember seeing before. By that I mean Red jumped and caught one in the air.

DDT gets two and this is a pretty fun opener. Loud “he’s amazing” chant lasts about 3 seconds. This is the Crucial Crew I think and they’re getting very annoying. Red fires off some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and a Michinoku Driver for two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) doesn’t work as Red takes him down and gets a standing shooting star for two.

Moonsault press is mostly caught in a cutter for a long two. West is losing his mind on these kickouts. He’s a very energetic guy to say the least and he’s having a good time out there. Homicide’s top rope rana is reversed into a sunset bomb off the top (called the Code Red. Red jumped down onto Homicide to hook it, making it look awesome) for the pin to retain. Sweet opener.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as the theory of fast paced high flying stuff is a great way to open the show. It worked fine here and West added a nice energy to this. I wouldn’t want to see it every night (West I mean) but for a one off thing here it’s fine. This is the kind of stuff you don’t see anymore in TNA: two guys getting ten minutes to go out there and have a fast paced and fun match. Sad too.

Taz and West run down the card. As in the one we already paid for. I don’t get it either.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Wolfe says this all started with a handshake and then drilled him, which proved his point. Tonight the Wolfe will devour every scrap that remains. He knows Angle really well but Angle knows nothing about Wolfe. School is in session tonight and in Wolfe 101, Angle loses. Good night this guy was awesome.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

We recap Raven returning on Impact and throwing a fireball at Foley to join Dr. Stevie. They’re not on the show tonight or anything. We’re just wasting time here. Foley will be on Impact apparently.

Nash, holding the Global Title, says JB shouldn’t use such foul language. This is between him and Hulk apparently. Oh dear. Apparently the explanation comes Thursday if Hulk says it’s ok.

We recap Tara vs. Kong in a cage. The idea is Tara doesn’t back down from her and is debuting here. Ok then. Tara got in a good line saying she won’t be locked in there with Kong but Kong will be locked in there with her.

Tara vs. Awesome Kong

This is when Tara wore those TINY shorts and a t-shirt to start which she would remove later. The shirt, not the shorts unfortunately. There goes the shirt as I wonder how in the world Playboy turned her down, which they did. Kong takes her straight into the corner to start and they slug it out. I love those holes in the cage that TNA uses for the cameras. Splash misses by Kong and the spinning backfist goes into the cage as well.

Tara goes after the hand, proving that she’s hot as well as smart. She tries to escape but KONG SMASH, catching her in an electric chair. Kong goes up, only to get crotched. I’m not sure if that hurts or not. You pick whether I’m not sure due to a lack of gonads or an excess of fat. KONG GETS A MISSILE DROPKICK FOR TWO!!!! WOW. Kong drapes her up against the cage and rams into her back. I’d make a ramming into Tara from behind joke but that might not be PG enough.

The fans all chant for Tara as I can’t believe she’s 38 here. All Kong at the moment as she tries for a suplex. The key word there being try though as Tara counters into a DDT. Tara hammers away and gets a superkick (see what I mean about it always being used) and a dropkick for two. They both stand on the top rope, facing the cage before falling and crotching themselves on the top.

They kick away at each other with Tara falling to the mat. You can win by the traditional three ways here if I didn’t mention that. Tara tries the Widow’s Peak off the top but settles for a HUGE FREAKING POWERBOMB that only gets two. That totally should have been the finish right there. Instead Tara looks to climb out but comes back, hitting a cross body/Thesz Press to end it.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here and Tara’s awesome legs help it a lot, but I kind of wonder why this is in a cage other than for the ending bump. It’s not terrible but at the same time this was nothing great for the most part. Tara was pretty clearly winning as it was her big debut. Not bad, but nothing particularly great at all. Also this isn’t the traditional Broken theme song so it’s not as good.

Tara says she’s coming after ODB who she would beat soon.

The announcers talk about Hogan a bit and we get a video about it. Oh joy. Nothing you couldn’t guess would be in here.

Rhyno/Team 3D vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The Dudleys have the Japanese tag titles as usual. Apparently Pope just added himself to his team. This was when Hernandez and Morgan had been awesome about a month before and then got stuck in a weak tag team which you could argue is a story still going on today. D-Von looks like he isn’t sure if he wants chicken or beef. He and Hernandez start us off. The fans are chanting something and the crowd has kind of died here.

The opening is surprisingly slow as they seem like they’re not sure what they want to do. Shoulder block takes D-Von down and Pope tags himself in, doing something a bit heelish. A shoulder of his own gets two. I’d hope it was of his own at least as it would be odd for him to use someone else’s shoulder. Ray comes in and rips up some of the Dinero Bucks and gets taken down by a double leg takedown.

Ray takes over and it’s Flip Flop and Fly time. Pope comes back as these two have been in there WAY too long. Bubba Bomb puts Pope down and Ray poses a bit. Rhyno comes in for the first time and it’s off to Morgan. This is an interesting match for some reason that I can’t quite place. Rhyno gets a shoulder into the ribs in the corner but walks into a discus lariat.

Everyone comes in and Team 3D hits a reverse 3D on Pope. Pope might have taken the bullet for Hernandez but it’s not entirely clear. D-Von and Pope are legal off that somehow and now it’s off to Rhyno. The heel team keeps up their fast tagging as Ray comes in to throw on a bearhug. That doesn’t last long but Pope can’t make the tag. Would it be a sin to keep the Pope from doing what he wants to do?

Back off to D-Von who gets a headbutt/splash for two. We hit the chinlock as Pope is in a good deal of trouble here. Is there such a thing as a bad deal of trouble? Ah good I don’t have to think about it that long as the hold doesn’t last long. Rhyno comes in and the fans aren’t that keen on him. Dinero is thrown to the floor and Ray drops an elbow while shouting that he’s a bigger pimp than Pope. I’ll leave that one up to you guys.

Naturally Ray misses his backsplash which is probably a good thing. I wouldn’t want Pope pancakes. Hot tag to Morgan who cleans house, including making D-Von run away from a right hand/clothesline. Rapid fire elbows in the corner to Rhyno and a side slam gets two. Off to Hernandez who hits a slingshot double clothesline to everyone not named Bubba and/or Ray and/or Bully.

With everyone on the floor, Hernandez launches a HUGE dive over the top to take down everything in sight. How did they manage to screw this up? Back in the ring a top rope splash gets a LONG two on Rhyno. What’s Up is broken up by Pope and Morgan is back in again. He leaves just as quickly though and might have twisted his knee. I hope it’s a Hogan knee injury like at Mania 6 which is never heard from again about a minute later. Ray crotches Pope on the post, allowing D-Von to pop Hernandez with a chair. The Gore ends Supermex a second later.

Rating: C+. This was a longer match than it probably should have been but it really wasn’t that bad at all. A good term for this would be acceptable. It’s not a bad match at all but it’s nothing that was all that great. It was long enough to let everyone get in there and the big spots weren’t bad. Pretty good little match here and nothing to really complain about. And I had joke material so I’m perfectly fine with it.

Lauren (still gorgeous) is with Scott Steiner and tells him that the match is now No DQ and falls count anywhere. Steiner says it’s on Lashley’s wife, saying Lashley can’t satisfy her so she went after Scott. Lauren’s reactions to this are great.

We recap the feud and it’s more or less what I just explained. This is kind of like Roberts vs. Rude which isn’t a bad feud to draw from and it’s been over 20 years so I think it’s ok. Taz saying Steiner crossed the line made me chuckle. Shouldn’t that be grounds for a raise?

Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystal’s face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.

Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.

Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobby’s neck as is Scott’s custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.

To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where it’s really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we don’t have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as he’s busted open now.

Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2×4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well they’re smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and we’re done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesn’t work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasn’t supposed to be. Fine for what it was which I’ve been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.

Angle says Wolfe is trying to make a statement by taking out the biggest dog in the yard. Well now he has him. The whole I don’t know you means nothing here because HE’S KURT ANGLE! Good response by Angle here: short and awesome.

We recap the Angle vs. Wolfe feud which is based on Wolfe debuting and wanting to meet Angle. The Jason Statham lookalike jumped Angle and has left him laying multiple times now. This was an awesomely built feud and thankfully the matches worked also.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

They fight over a wristlock to start and the easily impressed fans chant this is wrestling. Modified crossface chickenwing by Wolfe and we hit the mat. After some arm work on the left, surprisingly enough Wolfe goes after the right arm. That’s a rare thing to say the least. Angle wakes up and snaps off a suplex. When all else fails, throw someone around. Or kick them in the face which is my preference.

Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post and Wolfe goes in like a shark. I think I got my animal metaphors crossed there. Lots of mat work on the arm follows with Kurt not being able to counter into an ankle lock. Wolfe plays to the crowd, I’d assume due to rarely being in front of this many people, and gets caught in a belly to belly and some clotheslines/forearm from Kurt for two.

The American hits some Germans on the Englishman. Six in this case. Six Germans that is, not six Englishmen or six Americans. Angle Slam is countered into an arm drag and lariat for a close two. Tower of London misses so the Angle Slam gets its required two count. After the move that has won Angle world titles (I think) hits, Wolfe has an arm hold on maybe 15 seconds later. Now THAT is no-selling.

Ankle lock goes on but Wolfe counters into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock again but a rope is grabbed. The announcers talk about how Wolfe has scouted Angle and knows a counter to everything. I wonder how many tapes he watched to figure out that the counter to the ankle lock is to grab a rope? Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

Tower of London (falling cutter off the top) gets two. Kurt gets a clothesline to break the momentum but the moonsault, say it with me, misses. A slick arm hold by Wolfe looks for the submission but Kurt backslides into a rope. They fight on the ropes and down goes Wolfe. FROG SPLASH by Kurt gets two. Ankle lock goes on for roughly the 20th time and Wolfe can’t reverse. Off to a cross armbreaker attempt but Wolfe clasps his hands. Instead Angle shifts to a side triangle choke and Wolfe taps immediately.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here, questionable selling aside. It’s a nice change of pace to see guys get on the mat and work on each other with some psychology in there. Not as classic as it’s going to be made up to be as the ending came out of nowhere and the arm work more or less went nowhere, but still a very good match.

Joe talks about how he hasn’t caused any trouble with AJ and Daniels but rather has just shown reality to everyone. It doesn’t matter that there are two on the same page and one on the other as Joe is the one that has hurt them both before and will win tonight.

We recap the Unbreakable triple threat which I need to get to and the feud that sets up the match here. Daniels allegedly jumped AJ and left him laying. The guy would wind up being revealed as Tomko in the ultimate of a wasted opportunity. Daniels said AJ was arrogant and AJ apologized for thinking it was Daniels that jumped him, but not for being world champion. Joe jumped both of them because he could.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. We get the always annoying streamers thrown for each guy. Daniels gets the first shot in with a right hand to AJ. Joe needs to stick with the tights rather than the shorts. They don’t work on him at all really. AJ gets the clothesline/forearm in the corner and hammers on Daniels a bit also. Joe takes over with his strikes and actually chops Styles in the back which is a new one.

Joe is sent to the floor and AJ gets that dropkick of his to put Daniels down. Headlock takeover by AJ and he adds a dropkick to keep Joe on the floor in a nice move. Joe back in now and he hammers Daniels down in the corner. With AJ down the submission guy actually does some submission stuff. What a novel concept. A suplex attempt on Joe finally works as AJ probably has a hernia now.

Indian Deathlock with a facelock ala Benoit by AJ to Joe. I love that move. Joe hits the floor and it’s back to AJ vs. Daniels with the Fallen Angel in control. We get our first dual submission as AJ is put in a Boston Crab and Joe in a camel clutch at the same time. Joe, apparently in need of a snack and thinking that the fingers are hot dogs, bites the hand of Daniels to get out of it. Love people staying in character like fat boy Joe here.

Rock Bottom out of the corner kills Daniels and AJ is taken down as well. Joe gets a dropkick to AJ and lands on Daniels, giving Joe complete control. And never mind as AJ takes him down on the floor and it’s back to the two guys that can’t block out the sun. They shift positions and AJ gets a running shooting star press over the top to take out both guys. Cool move that he doesn’t use that often anymore which is what makes it cool.

Joe and AJ slug it out in the ring and here’s Daniels to make it a perfectly matches set. Poetry in Motion takes down Daniels and it’s a springboard rana to Daniels for two. The fans of course chant random things because that’s what they think they exist for. Joe gets all powerbomb happy, getting two on AJ. Various submissions including an amplified Boston Crab, an STF and a crossface don’t work either.

Daniels pops up again and gets a reverse DDT to Joe/Rock Bottom to AJ at the same time. Not bad there. Death Valley Driver gets two on AJ. AJ fights back with a neckbreaker for two as this is needing to get to another gear for the ending. Everyone back in now and they all slug it out. Pele puts Daniels down so we’re all on the mat. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and the springboard forearm gets two.

In a nice bit of psychology, AJ hits the backflip into the reverse DDT on Joe and tries it again on Daniels. Daniels counters his though and gets a Cross Rhodes (Last Rites) to AJ. Muscle Buster to Daniels as AJ saves again. Big spin kick puts Joe down but Daniels breaks up the Styles Clash. Daniels and AJ can’t get each others’ finishers so they take Joe out instead.

AJ and Daniels high five each other and go at it. Joe pops up and chops AJ to the floor and it’s a BME to Joe. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard 450 to the back of Daniels (knees to the back have to hurt REALLY FREAKING BADLY) and steals the pin on Joe to set up AJ vs. Daniels the next month at Final Resolution.

Rating: A-. Taz calls it 15 stars and that’s a bit of a stretch. It’s still a very good match and great is probably a fair term. It’s not the Unbreakable match but with that being the standard they were kind of hamstrung. Still it’s a great match with Joe being a bit less than what he was back in 2005. Good stuff though to say the least.

Overall Rating: B+. Very solid show here and a shining example of what TNA could be that could make people look at it and say “that’s an actual alternative to WWE.” Instead we’re looking at Sting vs. Hogan probably which is something I think only Sting and Hogan fans want to see. Anyway, this was a great show with some very solid wrestling in there throughout. It’s easy to watch too which helps it a lot. By that I mean it flies by, which is the sign of a good show. Check it out if you get the chance.

Slammiversary 2011
Date: June 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s anniversary day for TNA again as this time they’re turning nine.  The main event is Sting vs. Anderson in what I’m sure will live up to all of the hype.  Given the matches and such they’ve had so far for this setup, that shouldn’t take much.  Other than that we’ve got Angle vs. Jarrett in another final match, this time with the medals and the title shot next month on the line.  Other than that, standard TNA fair.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting vs. Anderson to no surprise.  Now let’s talk about the Knockouts and Angle/Jarrett.  Jarrett vs. Angle is the main topic.  Nothing about the whole anniversary aspect yet.  Sting vs. Anderson is the last part of it.  Nothing special at all here.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. James Storm/Alex Shelley

Shelley is subbing for the injured Robert Roode here.  The Brits are Magnus and Williams who now have matching jackets.  Roode sits in on commentary.  Williams is in trunks now which is going to take some getting used to.  Storm vs. Williams to start us off but it’s off to Shelley quickly.  Shelley of course speeds things way up but a blind tag brings in Storm to face Magnus.  Very fast paced stuff so far.

Double dropkick takes Magnus down so it’s off to Williams.  They do one of the Guns’ moves with the bridging neck hold but Storm adds in a pair of fingers to the eyes instead of a dropkick.  Shelley gets pulled to the floor and the tide turns a bit.  Williams chokes away a bit and drops a knee for two.  The Brits get an overly elaborate double neckbreaker as Shelley plays face in peril for awhile.

Magnus hits a suplex and Shelley wants a tag.  Nice double team moves sets up a middle rope elbow for Williams.  Exploder suplex by Williams looks to set up Rolling Chaos Theory but Shelly counters into a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.  Hot tag to Storm who sends Williams to the floor.  Williams is sent to the floor again, this time on top of Magnus.  Suicide dive by Shelley takes Williams down again.  That’s not a good few seconds for him at all.

They even stop to do the BEER MONEY thing.  Shelley stuns Magnus on the top rope and Storm sets for the Eye of the Storm but Williams reverses.  Superkick is blocked as is the Rolling Chaos.  Superkicks all around and a Codebreaker sets up a top rope double stomp for a close two on Williams.

Top rope kick puts Magnus down and Storm loads up the beer, which of course goes into Shelley’s eyes.  Shelley drills Storm and a top rope variation of the Hart Attack (European Uppercut instead of a clothesline) gets a very close two on Storm.  Shelley pops in again and it’s a superkick to Magnus to set up the Sliced Bread to end this.  Solid opener.

Rating: B. Good stuff to start us off here and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be.  Tags are more or less the perfect opener to shows, especially when they’re fast paced like this one was.  They worked hard out there and we have a solid pace set for the show, which is what the opener is for.  I’m very pleased here.

Jarrett and Angle got here earlier today.

Steiner says his arms are bigger than Morgan’s so he’ll beat him down tonight.  Oh and he’ll take Morgan’s girlfriend.

Matt Morgan vs. Scott Steiner

Let the war of alliteration begin!  Steiner is billed from the Detroit University of Michigan.  The university is in Ann Arbor but who cares I guess.  Morgan dominates to start and takes Steiner to the floor rather quickly.  Back in Steiner hits a low blow and takes over.  I can’t imagine this is going to go long.  Belly to belly gets two.  There’s the clothesline/elbow/pushups.  Steiner’s offense is rather slow so let’s talk about the Impact Wrestling fantasy game.

Steiner yells at the fans a lot and continues his very slow style.  Tazz calls it veteran pacing.  I call it he’s old and slow.  Morgan wakes up a bit and hammers away to start his comeback.  Steiner goes into the buckle and it’s a splash to set up a side slam for no cover.  Michinoku Driver gets two.  Steiner gets a suplex (I’m shocked too) to break the momentum and two at the same time.  Isn’t he efficient?

Downward Spiral by Steiner for two.  Steiner Recliner goes on and there’s zero torque on it at all.  Morgan gets underneath him and lifts him up but Steiner USES A VICTORY ROLL for two.  WOW.  Chokeslam and belly to belly are blocked and the Carbon Footprint ends this.  Well at least the right guy won there.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible battle of the big men here and I’m still recovering from that victory roll.  It was a pretty good one on top of that.  Now for the love of all things good and holy, get Morgan something else to do that isn’t a random power vs. power feud.  He’s been doing those forever now and they’re old.

Jarrett says he’s already taken Kurt’s greatest accomplishment and she’s sitting in Sleeping Giant.  Oh wait that’s just Morgan’s music still playing.  Karen is the greatest accomplishment apparently.  On Thursday Jeff is going to be awarded the gold medal apparently.  This victory is going to be dedicated to Karen.

Recap of the X-Division triple threat.  Abyss got the title from Kaz and quoted Art of War a lot.  Kaz and Kendrick are trying to get the title off of him to save the X-Division.  Oh and Abyss calls it the Xtreme Title.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss vs. Kazarian

Kendrick is all serious here.  You would think this would be a handicap match for the most part.  Kendrick is down within seconds so Kaz tries to hammer away to no real result.  Dropkick works a bit but Kaz is knocked to the floor a second later.  Abyss is like screw these tiny men and throws Kendrick to the floor on top of Kaz.  They finally wake up and double team him which puts him down in the corner.

Out to the floor and more double teaming takes Abyss down.  Back in the ring and Kaz tries to send Kendrick into Abyss but thankfully Abyss remembers that his finisher is a spinning slam so it’s a Black Hole Slam for Kendrick.  Big boot takes Kaz down and the monster stands tall.  Abyss beats on Kaz and knocks Kendrick back to the floor before he can do anything.

Big lumbering clothesline in the corner puts Kaz down as we’ve slowed this way down.  Kaz tries to bite Abyss and that fails as well.  Off to a neck crank as Kendrick comes back in again.  And scratch that as he falls down again.  Kaz tries a comeback but gets caught in Shock Treatment.  Vader Bomb misses as the previously assumed dead Kendrick is back in.  Some dropkicks put Abyss down for two.  More kicks set up a decent tornado DDT for two.  Abyss gets all ticked off and chokeslams Kendrick.  Pretty bad rana takes Abyss down as does a double dropkick.

Slingshot legdrop by Kaz sets up a frog splash by Kendrick for a double stacked two.  Chokeslam to Kaz is countered into a rollup for two.  Kaz is thrown into Kendrick and Abyss falls to the floor.  Kendrick and Kaz fire off some rights to each other and some F Bombs.  Well this had to happen eventually.  Kaz puts him on the top and Abyss is still down.  Kaz tries a top rope C4 to Kendrick but settles for the Fade To Black.  That doesn’t work either as Kendrick reverses and nails Kaz with a leg lariat.  And here’s Abyss to steal the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The selling was kind of overkill here but at the same time they had the story down pretty well.  It entered into the triple threat formula at the end but at the same time they kind of had to do that to make the match work.  Not a horrible match or anything but just about what was expected.  Abyss will likely lose next month.

Crimson vs. Joe is recapped.  It’s a battle of the undefeated streaks so look for Crimson to win here, which would be his biggest win.  Oh and we get a clip of the “viral” video of the bar fight.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

Crimson hits the ring and they slug it out immediately.  The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Crimson.  Suicide dive is blocked by a forearm from the floor and there’s a big boot back in the ring by Crimson.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Cravate goes on so Joe gets a bad dragon screw leg whip to take the red dude down.  Crimson hammers away on Joe but walks into a kind of atomic drop sort of a move to the knee.  That was different.

He takes Crimson down with relative ease and there’s a leg bar for a few seconds.  Spinning toe hold by Joe as we go back to the mid 1870s.  Crimson counters into a triangle choke and then an arm bar which gets him nowhere.  T-Bone suplex by Crimson takes Joe down as the fans are trying to get into this.  Double arm DDT gets two.  The fans chant Mercer, which is Crimson’s real name I believe.

Suplex and a clothesline by Joe get two.  Joe goes up to the middle rope for a Rough Ryder for two.  Joe is all frustrated.  “Dang man end this match already before the buffet is empty.”  Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab.  We get a Gumby reference of all things as the hold stays on.  They slap it out and Crimson gets a spear to take Joe down.  They slug it out again with Crimson knocking him back into the corner.  Now Joe knocks him back into the corner but can’t get the Musclebuster.  Clutch can’t go on either so there’s the Red Sky to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty good big slugout here and it’s good to see Crimson actually face big time competition for a change.  Pretty good match here with the ending being pretty clear, but a nice test for Crimson nonetheless.  I don’t think Crimson is as great as he’s made out to be, but this worked pretty well for what it was.

They shake hands post match and Joe pulls Crimson in close to say we’ll do this again.

Winter and Angelina do their usual thing.  Winning the title is a step closer to the final destiny apparently.  Angelina turns down the pill this time and says it’s not necessary anymore because they’re on the same page.

Knockout Title: Angelina Love vs. Mickie James

Fans are totally behind Mickie here.  There’s a fat guest timekeeper that Taz makes jokes about.  Angelina does her zombie thing and it turns into kind of a catfight.  Love works on the arm so Mickie gets a rana out of the corner, only to walk into a snap suplex for two.  Mickie blows a kiss at Winter so Winter takes her down.  Not into swinging I guess.  Mickie gets a clothesline to take both girls down.

And there she goes right back to the floor.  Angelina is sent into the steps which gets about a seven on the floor.  Back in and Mickie takes over one more time with a bunch of clotheslines.  Thesz Press off the top gets no cover.  Winter grabs Mickie’s foot again which gets her nowhere at all.

Botox Injection (name totally doesn’t fit anymore) gets two so Angelina goes all psycho on Mickie again.  She tries that backbreaker thing she’s been doing which is countered into the DDT attempt.  Northern lights suplex gets two.  Winter cheating on a rollup gets two.  They botch the jumping DDT like never before but it gets the pin anyway.  Horrible looking ending and considering Mickie was involved in it, that says a lot.

Rating: D+. The botches were flowing harder than a sorority’s menstrual cycle here and it really hurt the match.  They need to get somewhere already with this story because they’re moving like molasses with it.  Just get to the lesbian stuff or have Angelina wake up already.  Mickie keeping the title here is probably only temporary but whatever.

Mickie gets choked out after the match.

Ray says he’s a man unlike AJ and that he’ll destroy AJ.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray.  Ray is being a bully (shocking) and doesn’t like how AJ acts as a wrestler, saying he’s a boy.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

Last man standing here.  AJ is listed as being from Gainesville, Florida instead of Georgia.  Christy looks good, but dude, go wear low cut shirts and that’s about it.  Staredown to start and then AJ hammers away.  Ray runs him over so that gets us nowhere.  This is going to take awhile to get anywhere, much like any last man standing match.  Ray pounds away and we go to the floor for awhile.

Bully sets up the steps but chops away instead.  He drops AJ onto the steps but pulls him up at about 4.  Ray puts the steps on AJ and then stands on him, which should get a ten.  Naturally Ray lets him up because he’s not that intelligent at times.  That and a few more shots get a four.  Back into the ring for some more hard chops as this has almost been all Ray.

AJ says bring it and holds his chest out.  More chopping follows and Styles says keep em coming.  Ray of course stands around and lets AJ get up because again, he’s not that smart.  Instead he punches him in the jaw this time which works a bit better.  AJ gets back up and his chest is all kinds of messed up.  Styles hammers away and gets Ray down with the Pele.  Springboard forearm gets six.

Ray goes up so AJ hits a Pele up there.  AJ goes up there for a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb.  That looks awesome coming off the top and it gets like five here.  They both stumble to the floor and Ray has a chain.  That hits post though and Ray’s hand is hurt.  AJ gets the chain and a jumping punch with it sends Ray under the ring to blade.  Ooo and it’s a good one too.

Back in the ring and AJ gets his springboard 450 for a count of about 8.  AJ picks Ray up and throws him to the floor and down goes a cameraman.  Pescado puts Ray down again and it’s Styles Clash time.  That of course doesn’t work so we go back up the ramp.  Ray wants the powerbomb again but AJ hits a pair of Peles and a punt to send Ray to the floor.

AJ is like screw it and dives off the stage to Ray and it looks like his head slammed into Ray’s shoulder.  That only gets 9.  Styles loads up a table and puts it in front of the stage.  Chair to the back puts Ray on it and it’s huge spot time.  He sets for a running dive but realizes it’s too far.  Instead he climbs up the truss and hits one of the biggest dives you’ll EVER see to kill Ray.  I was legit scared there.  And then Ray kicks him through the stage wall and wins the freaking thing.  HORRIBLE ending as AJ was built up perfectly and then oh wait let’s make sure Ray wins because AJ freaking Styles isn’t a big enough star right?

Rating: B. Great match and the ending ruined it.  AJ hits one of the biggest spots in company history and then BULLY FREAKING RAY beats him with a kick to the back?  Are you freaking kidding me?  Zero reason at all for Ray to win this and the shot he wins it with was freaking weak.  AJ’s dive is worth seeing and is up there with the Swanton Jeff Hardy did to Orton on Raw like three years ago for scary dives.  Hate the ending though.  Absolutely hate it.

Anderson says it’s serious time tonight.

We recap the world title match which is Anderson trying to get under Sting’s skin, which never really made a lot of sense but whatever.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson

Sting comes in and jumps Anderson during the entrance.  He’s in all red here and has that paint on his face making him look like the Joker.  All Sting so far as Anderson can’t even get his shirt off.  Into the crowd they go and Anderson goes into a wall.  There’s black/gray around Sting’s mouth for some reason.  Anderson gets a quick reversal and that gets him nowhere at all as Sting pounds on him even more.

Up the steps they go even further and this is wasting a ton of time.  To the ring finally and Sting is sent into the post.  Anderson sends Sting’s hand into the steps and then pulls the arm around the post for awhile.  More F Bombs dropped as an armbar goes on Sting.  Clothesline puts Sting down again for two.  Anderson wastes forever and does Sting’s chest pound before missing a horrible Stinger Splash.

Modified world’s strongest slam gets two.  Anderson is covering a lot here.  Back to the armbar which makes some sense here at least.  Sting starts his comeback and pounds on his chest as he is known to do at times.  Clothesline sets up a backdrop and the splash in the corner.  Scorpion is set up….and here’s Bischoff.  Another Stinger Splash misses and Anderson gets a very close two.

Sting gets a regular DDT with the bad arm for two.  He tries something close to a Banzai Drop but gets caught in the little stingers which gets two for Anderson.  Mic Check hits on the second attempt for two.  Stinger Splash and the Death Drop hit but Bischoff interferes and messes with the count so there was only a two count instead of the three.  Low blow RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE sets up the Mic Check and we have a new champion.  Wow indeed.

Rating: C. The chicanery hits again.  I really hope this doesn’t set up Anderson joining Immortal because it really seemed like it was dying there for awhile.  Bischoff is the source of drama again which is his custom.  Hopefully this sticks around so we don’t have Sting vs. Hogan for the title.  Surprising ending and it more or less locks up Angle winning tonight in the main event.

Karen says Kurt pushed her which is what caused her injuries.  The medal comes to Tennessee tonight.  Tenay calls her a ball buster.

We recap Jarrett vs. Angle which is the final battle tonight.  They’ve had like six PPV matches tonight and this one is mainly over Karen being “injured” (read as going off to get implants) which we couldn’t see the details of.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

Winner gets the title shot next month and if Jeff wins he gets Kurt’s medal.  I can live with this being the main event because it’s the anniversary show and this has been built up better than Sting vs. Anderson.  Angle’s right arm is taped a bit.  Feeling out process to start as they’re going for the big epic match here which they probably should.  Angle takes it to the mat as is his custom.

Headlock goes on for awhile by Angle and he adds a hiptoss to take over.  Jeff backdrops him to the floor and Kurt is holding his shoulder which I’d assume is kayfabe.  Jeff works him over on the floor for awhile and we head back into the ring.  Jarrett hammers away as Angle is in trouble.  He hits that move where one guy is in position for the 619 and you jump on their back.  Both try cross bodies and they both go down.

There’s the sleeper to give them a breather.  Angle rams him into the corner and there’s a German.  Boo/yay punching sequence with the yays having it.  Belly to belly gets two.  Dropkick off the middle rope gets two.  Jarrett tries a rana I think which is countered into a powerbomb for two.  Ankle lock goes on for a bit but Jeff gets a DDT for two.  Stroke is countered into the Angle Slam for two.  Moonsault misses and he would have barely hit Jeff’s feet anyway.

Tombstone doesn’t work and it’s ankle lock time again.  Jeff rolls through and down goes the referee.  Low blow takes Kurt down and Jeff grabs a guitar on the floor.  Down goes Kurt and for once he moves the pieces out of the ring.  He leaves one though and here’s another referee who apparently wasn’t watching the screen in the back.  That gets two and Jeff is ticked.

Earl and Jeff get into a shoving match, resulting in a Kurt rollup for two.  Here are the Germans for a long two.  Jeff goes up and there’s the running suplex for a long two.  The crowd isn’t really getting into this for some reason.  Angle charges and goes shoulder first into the post.  Middle rope Stroke only gets two.  Jeff gets the Angle Slam and the ankle lock to Kurt, including the leg lace.  Jeff stands up for some reason and Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock with the lace and Jeff taps.

Rating: B+. Very good match here and mostly worthy of a main event of a PPV, but at the same time it never hit that epic level that they were looking for.  Anderson vs. Angle at the next PPV should be ok but we’ve seen it before.  At least it hasn’t happened recently though so that helps.  This was a rather good match here and a fitting match for the final battle.  Good match, but not quite great.

Overall Rating: B-. Overall this was good but at the same time there were some rather questionable booking decisions on this show.  The Bischoff thing I’m not sure about at all but that’s coming on Impact I guess.  Ray vs. AJ was freaking stupid after the great match which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.  Overall it’s good, but some of the booking and the first hour being pretty weak overall hurts it.  Still good though and one of the better TNA shows in a good while.

Results

James Storm/Alex Shelley b. British Invasion – Sliced Bread #2 to Magnus

Matt Morgan b. Scott Steiner – Carbon Footprint

Abyss b. Brian Kendrick and Kazarian – Abyss pinned Kazarian after a leg lariat from Kendrick

Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Red Sky

Mickie James b. Angelina Love – Jumping DDT

Bully Ray b. AJ Styles – Styles couldn’t answer the ten count

Mr. Anderson b. Sting – Mic Check

Kurt Angle b. Jeff Jarrett – Ankle Lock

Hardcore Justice
Date: August 8, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

This is the second return to PPV for ECW as they try to squeeze the final drop of blood out of the stone that was ECW. I really am not looking forward to this as it was built around two matches and one of those was canceled. It’s RVD vs. Sabu tonight which needs to stay under 8 minutes or so. Other than that we know a lot of names and that’s about it. Let’s get to it.

Tazz is here and says this is going to be EXTREME and that this is going to be awesome no matter what people say. Yeah I’m sure.

FBI vs. Kid Kash/Simon Diamond/Swinger

It’s Tony, Tracy and Guido. Yeah because Kash was SO important to ECW. Sal is somehow even fatter if that’s possible. Smothers looks AWFUL. It’s Tony Luke now instead of Mamaluke. Guido looks about the same. The lights are all dark and there’s this weird blue tint to it. Guido and Kash start us off. They point out that they can’t say certain names or letters. WOW.

Simon is HUGE and even Tazz suggests different attire. He stops halfway through the match and cuts a promo to which he gets a LOUD Shut the F Up chant. He challenges them to a dance off. It’s somehow worse than it sounds. The non-FBI team breaks it up but Sal crushes them. Kash does a big dive to do something. Keep in mind we’re 20 minutes into this.

We get to a normal match now and it’s not bad. Seriously, we would have had to pay 45 dollars for this. Mamaluke is getting destroyed here and Diamond does something close to Three Amigos. Guido hits the Kiss of Death (Killswitch) to end it.

Rating: D. Once this got going it wasn’t bad but ten minutes of crap to get to the good stuff isn’t how this is supposed to go. This didn’t work at all for me though as three of these guys meant next to nothing at all in the original ECW. This was watchable I guess but the lighting and the other stuff just isn’t doing it so far.

The announcers talk about Sabu being in the main event.

We have a Where Are They Now series tonight. That’s not a good sign.

Tod Gordon says goodbye. He’s fat.

Pitbull #1 says hi.

Blue Meanie is on a TNA PPV. Literally that’s all they’re saying.

They do their intros and then they come back. Pitbull says show them hardcore. Meanie says thank you. None of them are here or anything.

AJ liked ECW.

Love liked ECW but only saw the end.

Snow yells at Head for possibly causing legal issues with the show. Richards comes in and this is his night apparently. Nova (Simon Dean) shows up in his BWO apparel. He talks about getting the band back together and this is painful to watch. A fake Blue Meanie comes in and we’re told that it doesn’t matter if it’s not really him. Good night.

Hey look it’s a match.

CW Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

You know, because these two have SUCH a history together. They keep calling it the original era because they can’t say ECW, even though they do anyway. Oh this is wrestling. Just to be clear I guess. Amazingly enough, there’s next to nothing to talk about here. Scorpio was great in his time, but he was old in 99 and he’s very old now. This is kind of back and forth and really isn’t bad for the most part. Spinebuster gets two and the Tumbleweed ends it.

Rating: C-. This was actually ok. They had a nice back and forth thing going here with a solid clash of styles going. I liked Anderson to an extent and I always liked Scorpio so this worked well for me. Somehow I have a feeling this is going to be the best match of the night. This wasn’t bad at all though and has me in a better mood.

Madison liked ECW too.

Matt Morgan got to go to a bar where ECW guys came to. They have to call it the Philadelphia promotion. This is sad.

Anderson says ECW was doing other stuff.

RVD and Fonzie say they wish they had a chance to fight Lynn again. RVD wants a replacement and picks Sabu. Fonzie says he’ll call it right down the middle.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

Francine and her daughter are at home. She looks bad. Like really bad. She was hot back in the day and now this.

They pay tribute to the people that have died with a graphic and nothing more. No names, no faces, no anything.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

Foley is reading Hogan’s book and likes being the ref.

More guys talk about the company, including Sabin and Magnus.

Cajones/Axl Rotter vs. ???/???

Cajones is of course Balls Mahoney. He issues an open challenge and it’s JOEL GERTNER. Ok this is at least an improvement. I think I smell Team 3D. Yep I’m right and they’re in tye-dye. Thankfully Joel does a poem which is funny. He looks…bad. Like even worse than before. It’s a South Philadelphia Street Fight in Orlando according to Ray.

They go split screen here for the sake of torturing us even better. Ray shouts at him and calls him Balls because that’s ok I guess. We go into the crowd for fun. This is “hardcore” I guess with mainly just punching and random shots with weak weapons. We bring in some more traditional weapons back in the ring. The announcers are of course cracking up over everything here instead of selling it like a hardcore match.

Frying pan to the head of Balls. And Mahoney breaks out a toy lightsaber. And so does Bubba. I hate this show. I truly do. Axl botches a reverse DDT on Bubba and Nutcracker Suite to D-Von gets two. The fans want flaming tables. They get a chair duel instead. The referee tries a double clothesline on the team that isn’t the Dudleys. It fails, much like this match.

The Dudleys bring in a table and Gertner has lighter fluid. Balls goes through it, ending this mess.

Rating: D-. Flaming table is all that keeps this from failing. This whole show is a freaking joke and that’s being kind.

Team 3D says they’re the best in the world and cue The Gangstas. They beat the tar out of each other and then hug.

Raven talks about his past with Dreamer where they were kids together and Dreamer was a jock. Raven slept with a girl Tommy liked and then the girl left Raven for Dreamer. That was Beaulah in case you don’t know that somehow.

Jesse Neal liked the little that he saw of ECW.

Kaz wanted to be in ECW.

Joey Styles should be here but isn’t. Everyone talks about him. This is so stupid. They make it sound like he’s dead.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

For no apparent reason, Foley is the referee. Beaulah is here and is still hot. The fans chant Uncle Scotty to complete this joke. They do the drop toehold spot and Dreamer gets beaten up in front of his kids. Dreamer might be the first guy to bleed tonight. It’s your usual stuff here with the beatdown that isn’t that great but the history makes it watchable. Raven is busted.

The signs are brought in as is the ladder. They do some decent stuff with that for two for Raven. Dreamer Driver gets no cover. We finally get to the barbed wire which is wrapped around Raven’s face. He taps but the BWO runs in to make sure it doesn’t count. This needs a Sandman run-in. Down goes Foley for no apparent reason. Raven Effect gets two. Or is it the Even Flow? Whatever.

Foley and Socko, which they can’t say, takes down Raven and that guy from earlier that we couldn’t recognize in the Blue Meanie skit runs down with a top rope leg drop for Dreamer. Allegedly his name is Lupus? Mandible Claw with wire to Raven of course doesn’t put him down and he cuffs Dreamer.

Beaulah comes in to stop the Rock/Foley ending in the Last Man Standing match which doesn’t work. Dreamer manages to DDT Raven while cuffed behind his back for two. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair and a DDT on it ends this. Yes, Dreamer jobbed to Raven in the final encounter. I am about to give up.

Rating: D. This started out as an ok brawl but just got insane. To be fair it was a pretty brutal match but the ending is just stupid. The problem is that this feud was perfectly finished in ECW and there was no need for this. Dreamer winning was the right way to go here so of course they didn’t do that. Not a horrible match, but it’s just showing how bad this idea was overall as this feud is one that didn’t need to continue.

The Gangstas hit on So Cal Val and make racial jokes. Borash is New Jack’s now.

We talk about Heyman and say stuff we’ve all heard before.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

It’s 10:15 so hopefully we’re out before half past the hour. Other than that this is going to go WAY too long. Fonzie is in a yellow jacket and RVD comes out first. The fans say this is classic. Sabu is bald. They start out with a feeling out process because they know each other so well. Sabu does his point to the sky and RVD does his pointing. It would be nice if they actually did something.

In an interesting thing Fonzie sends a chair in but does it right down the middle. We hit the crowd for a bit as the chanting is just idiotic. Sabu botches….something and then the camel clutch is on. The bald guy doesn’t look half bad all things considered. With both guys down, Fonzie throws both of them a bottle of water. Both get tables as a result. Oh this isn’t going to end well.

Van Dam hits some slingshot legdrops and Fonzie tries to revive Sabu. Sabu hits a rana to send RVD into a chair in the middle of the ring. It looked totally fake but not bad at the same time. Clutch is on again for like 2 seconds. Triple Jump Moonsault is blocked by Van Dam and Sabu is bleeding from somewhere. Van Assassin hits (the one footed dropkick into the chair while the guy is crotched) and Sabu to the floor.

Ok so that lasts like a second and we’re back now. Morrison, watch an RVD match to see how you do the split legged moonsault, I beg of you. Rolling Thunder to the chair hits for two. Five Star ends it.

Rating: D+. While a mess, this is what it was supposed to be: a war. They beat each other up and it really isn’t as bad as anyone is saying it is. It’s bad, but this is what the match was supposed to be. There was no way it was going to be a classic, but this really wasn’t horrible. It held my attention for the most part and had some decent spots. For the ending to this show, this was bearable.

The locker room empties and we have a beer bash, which isn’t like that other show at all. The crowd chants F YOU VINCE and Dixie gets in the ring. Bubba takes her on a victory lap to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: this was bad. The wrestling was awful and there were really only two matches worth much at all. Luckily those were the two main matches and not the stuff no one remembers. This show is being called one of the worst of all time and from the view that this is the TNA offering this month, they’re right. From the perspective of using your intelligence, that’s not the case. Something that needs to be remembered here is the audience. This wasn’t for the casual wrestling fan. This was for the ECW fan and those people likely loved this. While the wrestling was bad, the booking was smart for the TNA fans as they get their PPV for FREE on Thursday. This was a way to get money out of the people that likely wouldn’t pay for a TNA show 90% of the time while still appeasing those that do. It’s a brilliant strategy from that perspective, but for casual TNA fans this was dreadful.

Another thing to keep in mind is that this was supposed to be like an ECW show. As great and fun as it was, in retrospect One Night Stand was more like a WWE show than an ECW show. This show had the realism of ECW far more than ONS did. This had the bad comedy and the random interference and the bad wrestling and the random matches. This was FAR more like ECW than the show five years ago was. Now that being said I’d still watch ONS over this a million times, but like I said earlier I’m not the target audience in the slightest. This wasn’t a good show, but it will likely be a successful one. It worked from that perspective and will be seen by ECW fans as a success, which is the whole idea. Don’t watch it or anything, but it’s not as bad as it’s made out to be, period.

Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop

Lockdown 2011
Date: April 17, 2011
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’ve finally arrived here at the second biggest show of the year for TNA.  The main event is the world title triple threat with Sting vs. Anderson vs. RVD in something eerily similar to what happened on 10-10-10.  As you probably know, the catch here is that every match is in a cage.  I had a chance to go to this but after the mess that was Victory Road I passed.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main three matches: the title match, Lethal Lockdown and Kurt vs. Jeff.  I really hope the last of those three ends tonight.  There’s a theme of blood in the video which I think we’ll see a lot of tonight.

Chris Sabin vs. Robbie E vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Suicide

Winner is #1 contender.  Pin/submission until we get down to two and then it’s escape.  This is the Xscape match.  Get it?  The guys have to tag in and out here which is actually a big upgrade in this.  I’m not going to try to keep track of who is in there and what is going on, at least not at the beginning.  Jeremy vs. Lethal at the moment with Lethal in control.  Lethal Combination puts Jeremy down but it’s off to Max and Suicide.

GOOD NIGHT Cookie is loud.  Robbie comes in and goes after the arm of Suicide….getting the pin with it.  Well that was unexpected.  The fans boo loudly at that and it’s Jersey vs. Jersey.  Robbie tags out to Sabin and both guys get beaten down.  Shelley is back soon apparently.  Sabin and Lethal have a nice crisp sequence and Red makes a blind tag.  Missile dropkick to Sabin but Red can’t kick Lethal.  Handspring elbow is blocked and Red grabs a sunset bomb out of nowhere to get us down to six.

If you’re confused, Lethal and Suicide are out and the Bucks, Sabin, Red, Robbie and Kendrick are left.  Red is tossed into the air and lands on the top.  The flippies can’t save him though as Cradle Shock (love that move) and a big running clothesline get us down to five.  Max comes in and if it sounds like this is in fast forward it’s more or less because it is.  Kendrick is sitting down bobbing his head back and forth as usual.

Max rolls up Sabin to put him out and it’s off to Kendrick.  He has a robe on and Robbie runs him over.  Both guys go out after Kendrick hits a big old cross body and it’s time for Buck vs. Buck.  Jeremy GOES OFF on Max, ramming him into the cage multiple times and getting a Trouble in Paradise kick.  Multiple right hands follow and Max grabs a CHEAP rollup to put Jeremy out.  I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet for a pin in my life.

Final three are Max Buck, Kendrick and Robbie.  The two heels lawn dart Kendrick into the cage which wakes him up somehow.  He massacres both guys with a ton of kicks and various other offense.  A big kick puts Robbie out and we’re down to Max vs. Kendrick, escape to win.  Kendrick tries to climb out but gets caught, allowing Max to take over for a bit.  Max rams Kendrick in a bunch of times which doesn’t seem to hurt him.  They fight on the top rope with Kendrick shoving him off and going up.  Max shoves the referee into Kendrick to knock him down and climbs out in record time to end it.  Totally wrong winner.

Rating: C. Match went too long here and the crowd is thoroughly killed because of it.  Not a bad match but the problem again is that this takes too long to get through seven different eliminations.  It could have been worse but at the same time they didn’t have a huge spotfest which is what a match like this is supposed to be.  Not bad, but not what it should have been.

The announcers run down the card but gets cut off by Bischoff who is in a t-shirt and jeans which is a rare look for him.  His arms are bulging out of the shirt.  Tenay and Taz bicker like an old married couple over the first bit of Eric’s talking.  He says he’s going to tell us why he’s here in a few minutes.  People come up to him and ask him what matters most about this business and he’s going to tell us.  Great heat on Bischoff here.

Tonight is special because Immortal is going to take care of Fourtune.  The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and I agree.  Bischoff sucks up to Hogan (big pop for his name) who is going to get the world title back in his grasp.  Bischoff gets to play a small role in that and that is all that matters to him.  Total waste of about 7 minutes which I’m sure if foreshadowing to something.

Steiner and Crimson are getting ready and Crimson says he’s glad Scott is watching his back.  Steiner rambles incoherently of course.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal.  I think this is one fall to a finish.  Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning.  Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff.  Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly.  Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up.  Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again.  The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two.  Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough.  Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either.  After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar.  Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around.  He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys.  Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in.  He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner.  Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights.  And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t-bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again.  Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win.  I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR!  Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute.  The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd.  Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best.  Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

Madison tells Tara to stay in the back for the match tonight.

We recap Madison vs. Mickie.  Basically Madison has been champion forever and beat Mickie earlier in the year.  This is title vs. hair.  Madison and Tara ran Mickie down with a motorcycle so Mickie’s shoulder is hurt.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off.  At least the girls both look great.  Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds.  Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

Matt Morgan says he’s going to get back on track tonight and Carbon Footprint Hernandez back to Mexico.  Please let this be the ending to this stupid feud.

We recap Joe vs. Pope with the whole Okato stuff which was idiotic beyond belief.  In short, Pope was caught doing naughty things with his donations as Joe had a Japanese friend of his named Okada (later Okato) film him.  Pope beat up Okato and this is their 3^rd or 4^th match.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is in red and blue which is an odd look on him.  The Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant is always cool to hear.  Pope hits a powerslam which is no sold as Joe drills Pope with ease.  Tenay says that it’s all about the strikes with the Samoan SUBMISSION Machine.  Pope gets what looked like a low blow to finally slow down the rampaging Joe.  Joe gets a chop in and Pope tries to run.  The key word there is try as they wind up on top of the cage and a headbutt sends Pope’s balls into the top rope.

That hole in the cage they use for the camera is always awesome.  As Joe hits some face washes the camera goes wide again for no apparent reason.  Joe comes with a running kick but Pope pulls the referee in the way to avoid it.  Pope fights up and lands some crossface shots to take over.  We hit the chinlock with Joe in some trouble.  Joe fights up and tries a sleeper, only to get caught in an STO for two.

ENOUGH WITH THE WIDE SHOT ALREADY!  Snap powerslam by Joe and both guys are down so we go wide again.  This is getting annoying.  They slug it out with Joe winning by slapping harder.  Big Boot by the big fat tub of goo sets up a backsplash for two.  Leg lariat off the top gets two.  Muscle Buster hits but Pope gets his foot on the ropes.

Pope goes up and gets his tights pulled down in the process.  He finally pulls them up and knocks Joe to the mat.  Top rope elbow gets one and a Codebreaker gets two.  DDE is caught because it’s an awful finisher and Joe sends him into the cage.  Muscle Buster sets up the Clutch and it’s over.  Well that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far and it was just ok at best.  Now please, LET THIS BE OVER.  The feud has been a waste of the last four months for both guys and the matches haven’t been anything special.  This wasn’t anything great overall but it wasn’t too bad.  The right guy won at least so it has that going for it.

Christy tries to talk to Mexican America and they do the usual thing of talking half in English and half in Spanish.  Just get this over with.

We recap the Morgan vs. Hernandez feud.  In short, Morgan is awesome and Hernandez is being a jerk and they used to be partners.  That’s about all there is to it.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2.  I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine.  Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage.  Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold.  Dude get your racial stereotypes straight.  That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year.  Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again.  Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now.  Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok.  Backdrop suplex gets two.  Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two.  Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage.  The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia.  Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top.  Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again.  Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking.  Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud.  Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

The girls complain about TNA and America cheating them again.  They say they should be Knockout Champion and that they’re better than everyone.  After they complain a lot here’s Velvet to beat them both up.  She throws them out and that’s about it.

Karen says Jeff Jarrett is awesome and she has nothing to be worried about.

We recap Kurt vs. Jarrett.  Basically it’s because of Karen who blames Kurt for all kinds of problems and legitimately married Kurt’s boss.  This feud has gone on FOREVER (some of you may be noticing a pattern here) and hopefully it ends here.  This is one of those instances where they’re trying to make real life into an angle and while it’s interesting, that doesn’t mean it should be done.  There was a wedding ceremony that Kurt busted up with an ax which was awesome.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his singlet.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

We recap the world title match.  Basically Sting came back to win the title and screw over Hogan in the process.  RVD was stripped of the title last year due to being injured by Abyss.  Anderson is ticked off by not getting a one on one title rematch.  There’s a possibility that someone is joining Immortal also but it’s really not clear.  Hogan has declared war apparently.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson gets in both guys’ faces and is drilled for his efforts.  Stinger Splash in the corner sets up the Scorpion a minute in but RVD breaks it up.  Van Dam fights Sting for a bit until Anderson pulls the rope down to send Rob into the cage.  Sting fights both of them and puts the Scorpion on both guys at the same time.  It’s as out there as it seems.  They both get the ropes as I’m not entirely sure how effective that move would have had but it was a nice idea at least.

Van Dam and Sting collide and everyone is down.  Neckbreaker to Van Dam gets two.  Double Mic Check has everyone down.  It gets two on both guys twice each.  Only in wrestling is 2+2+2+2 not good enough to get to 3.  Van Dam kicks Anderson down and the Five Star gets two.  So we’ve now established that 8 and 5 aren’t worth three.

Double clothesline puts everyone down……and here’s Hogan.  Hogan hands RVD the pipe and RVD takes it.  He isn’t sure what to do with it so he throws it at Hogan.  Anderson picks it up and pops RVD with it, shouting at Hogan that it was for him and not for Hogan.  Sting sneaks up on him and gets the Death Drop on Anderson to retain.  Yep that’s really it.

Rating: C. This was SHORT.  It wasn’t any good either but that’s beside the point.  There were more references to Brooke Hogan than anything else for the most part here.  Not a terrible match but dude, I was expecting something epic here and again it was rather short.  Not much of a match at all as it was mainly finishers and laying down.  Granted I’m not a fan of three ways for the most part but this felt like something that belonged on Impact and not a major PPV.

Hogan says he and Sting will go at it on his time.  Why do I have a feeling that’s Bound For Glory?

Immortal vs. Foutune

Lethal Lockdown here.  It’s Wargames for you old school fans.  Fourtune is Roode, Storm, Kaz and Daniels.  Immortal is Bully Ray, Matt Hardy, Abyss and Ric Flair.  Yes, Flair is main eventing this show.  Both teams send in a man for five minutes.  After five minutes Immortal sends in their second man for a two minute advantage (they won a best of three series on Impact to earn that).

After two minutes we add in another member of Fourtune to even the odds.  Two minutes after that we add in another member of Immortal to give them a 3-2 advantage.  You alternate every two minutes until it’s 4-4 and then a roof covered in weapons comes down.  Then it’s first fall wins.

We start off with Kaz and Abyss with the monster taking over early via a chokeslam.  Ray keeps shouting mess up his pretty face.  Matt says mangle him.  All Abyss so far until Kaz reverses a shot into the cage and fires off a right hand.  Top rope rana hits as we somehow have done four minutes so far.  Kaz (that has to be close enough for a copyright suit from Taz) hammers down Abyss and it’s Matt in next.

Side Effect misses and Kaz hammers on Matt for as long as he can.  He’s not paying attention to Abyss though as he hits a springboard rotating legdrop to Matt.  Fade to Black is countered as Abyss is back up with 1:20 to go.  Matt gets the Ice Pick (double underhook choke) to Kaz and Abyss pounds away a bit more on top of it.  Matt, ever the genius, lets go of the hold.  Side Effect puts Kaz down as we wait for the next person to come in.

The fourth man in is Daniels who hammers on Abyss.  BME crushes the masked dude and Matt is taken down by a knee from the top.  Fourtune takes over as the fans chant for Flair.  Ask and ye shall receive as Flair is actually going to be in there for awhile.  That man is absolutely insane.  He has to be.  He and Abyss work over Kaz as Matt beats up Daniels.

Storm has some beer before heading in third for his team.  Beer to the face and it’s Codebreakers and Backstabbers all around.  Flair gets on his knees in front of Storm and begs for mercy before having a beer bottle cracked over his head.  Oh yep Flair is busted.  Flair is in a suit without the shirt by the way.  There go his pants and he gets spanked a bit.  Why is it always HIM that this happens to?

Bully Ray is the freaking clean up hitter for Fourtune and Flair is getting more and more undressed as this goes on.  Roode is waiting in the aisle with 45 seconds to go.  Immortal beats them down until Roode comes in to SILENCE.  This crowd has been dead all night.  Roode shouts FOURTUNE and hits a Blockbuster on Abyss.  The roof hasn’t come down yet but as Fourtune takes over here it comes.

Double suplex to Abyss by Beer Money sets up their shout.  The roof coming down takes long enough to let Jeff Hardy get pinned three times.  Don’t bother showing us what’s going on in the ring right now.  We need to see a roof coming down.  Fourtune has weapons and the beating is on.  We go split screen with one screen having a regular shot of the cage where you can see everything.  Brilliant guys.  Brilliant.

Abyss is knocked out through the door and Matt goes up top.  I really hope he doesn’t break the roof.  Daniels goes up with him as Flair screams a lot.  Daniels loads up Angel’s Wings but Matt blocks hit.  He backdrops Daniels who literally has to grab the roof to hang on with his legs off the cage.  Storm throws the door open to give his feet something to grip on.  Matt hits the Twist of Hate as Flair is literally covered in blood.  MATT FALLS OFF THE CAGE.  I mean he flew off and they didn’t show him afterwards.  That’s scary stuff man.

A bunch of near falls follow and Roode gets a spinebuster on Flair for two.  Daniels dives off the cage onto Abyss and Matt who thankfully were there to catch him.  How is Matt still live?  Roode puts the Figure Four on Flair but Roode makes the save at the last second.  Flair and Ray take their turns with kendo sticks on everyone as Daniels is somehow back in the ring.

Ray says this is for your good friend AJ which brings AJ himself out to the ring for the big beatdown on Ray.  Well there’s your match next month at whatever the next PPV is.  Everyone beats on Flair and Roode throws on an armbar for the surprisingly quick tap out.  Well at least there wasn’t a major turn.

Rating: B. Good match here with some flat out scary shots.  The problem here was that they got caught in the same trap that they always did in this match: the opening WarGames stuff means nothing once we get down to the weapons part.  The spots were enough to make your jaw drop but it wasn’t the best match in the series.  Granted these aren’t usually great.  The ending made sense with AJ making his return, but it was kind of expected.

Overall Rating: D+. Well this was disappointing.  It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and is light years ahead of Victory Road (this had an actual main event) but it was nothing compared to what they had built it up to be.  The world title is more or less a throwaway match which is never a god thing.  The main event is ok because it was a major gimmick match but it was nothing great.  The dead crowd didn’t help things either.

The whole thing felt weak to me and that’s certainly not a good thing given what they’ve been doing the past few months.  Disappointing show and a sign of things to come I’m afraid.  Also, this points to more Hogan and Bischoff being the focus of the show, which doesn’t do a thing for newcomers, which is what they need right now.

Results

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck, Amazing Red, Chris Sabin, Brian Kendrick, Robbie E, Jay Lethal and Suicide – Buck escaped the cage

Ink Inc b. Scott Steiner/Crimson, Orlando Jordan/Eric Young and British Invasion – Mooregasm to Williams

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Samoa Joe b. D’Angelo Dinero – Koquina Clutch

Matt Morgan b. Hernandez – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle – Jarrett escaped the cage

Sting b. Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop to Anderson

Fourtune b. Immortal – Roode made Flair submit to a Fujiwara Armbar