Victory Road 2004
Date: November 7, 2004
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Well you knew I would start doing these eventually so here’s the first one. TNA is officially the number two company in the world, but back in the day they were more or less fighting for their lives every night. This was a major step for them though as all of a sudden they were mainstream with a show on FOX Sports South and now PPV.

The main two matches here are Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy (pre-main event appeal) in a ladder match and the X-Division Title match with AJ Styles taking on Petey Williams. Oh and Hall and Nash are debuting here. This sound familiar to anyone? Let’s get to it.

The intro is kind of a western theme about how we make our own destinies. It’s pretty basic really but it sets the stage I guess. We do however begin the idea of having every announcement be overblown and made to see huge when they just aren’t. It’s not bad but it’s fine I guess.

X-Division Gauntlet

The winner gets a cup. Ok then. This is called a reverse battle royal which in reality is a Royal Rumble and then the final two have a singles match. Kaz is number one and Sonjay Dutt is number two. It’s out of 20 mind you. In other words it’s the main event of the first weekly PPV. The time is sixty seconds here. Michael Shane and Kaz hold the X-Division Title at this point mind you.

Puma, a Japanese wrestler is 3rd. This is pure spotfest stuff here but that’s really all it needs to be for the most part. La Parka is number four. Oh he’s LA Park now. Good to know. I wonder if his brother is named Central and lives on the east coast. He has the chair and does that stupid dance of his. Jerelle Clark, a guy that did nothing at all ever, is number 5.

He’s Mr. 630 because he could do a 630 flip. Yeah I’m not impressed either. Miyamoto is number 6. He’s on Team Japan which is an actual team of Japanese wrestlers. There was a thing called the World X Cup which was way too complicated and not a lot of people cared about it but whatever. They keep the clock on the screen here which is nice. Michael Shane, the co-X-Division champion is number 7.

More importantly than anything else in his career, he’s Shawn Michaels’ cousin, hence the name. Puma is the first guy out. Clark is too. Miyamoto is out We have the champions, LA Parka and Dutt. Number 8 is Hector Garza, who is the captain of Team Mexico. The clock is messed up now of course. Nosawa, another Japanese guy, is 9th. This is taking way too long and there aren’t enough stars in there. You can’t use this crowd to grade it though as they’ll cheer for everything.

Mikey Batts is 10th. See what I’m having to deal with here? There’s just nothing interesting happening at all here. Alex Shelley, a more or less unknown heel at this point, is 11th. He puts Dutt out to clean out a bit of the clutter in there. There goes Parka also. Matt Sydal is number 12. He’s more commonly known as Evan Bourne which is what he’ll be called here.

Shelley goes through the ropes so he’s still in and has a back injury. Sonny Siaki who I think signed with WWE for awhile is 13th. What do you expect: he’s a musclehead. Nosawa is gone. Jason Cross is number 14. Oh great it’s Shark Boy. That’s just who I wanted to see in here. Shelley pulls out Bourne and Psycosis is 16th. D-Ray 3000, perhaps the most worthless wrestler ever, is 17th.

They’re just killing time out here and it’s not interesting in the slightest. Both he and Shark Boy are put out by Siaki. Eighteenth is Amazing Red. Shelley finally goes out. Kendrick, called Spanky here, is 19th. Chris Sabin is 20th as this just needs to end. Seriously, THIS is opening the show. It’s 1/6 of the entire show and everyone is ok with that. Siaki is out. Spanky puts out Shane. I hate that name.

In the most contrived spot I’ve ever seen, we get a seven man Tower of Doom. Give me a break. Jason Cross is gone, no word yet on if anyone not related to him cares. Red gets a nice superkick and puts out Psychosis. And Red is out next. Spanky is out and we’re down to Sabin, Garza and Kaz who started it. Sabin goes out so it’s Garza vs. Kaz for the cup. This is SO much more entertaining than say, the X Champions fighting EACH OTHER?

Garza hits a sweet moonsault that gets a long two. Garza takes a DDT and gets up at four which is called two for some reason. He then misses his big corkscrew move and rolls up Kaz to get the win. I hated this match. Naturally his interview is all in Spanish and there’s no translation. That’s perfect right? Oh there is one. I just don’t care.

Rating: D. The spots were cool, but this was WAY too long. Seriously, we just spent half an hour on a match for a cup. Does anyone else see why this was freaking stupid or is it just me? TNA doesn’t get it, so things are all normal I guess. Garza would be deported in like a month.

Ron Killings/Erik Watts/Johnny B. Badd/Pat Kenney vs. Dallas/Kid Kash/Naturals

Oh look MORE people in the same match. Could this get any worse? Why would you sign Mero at this point? Seriously, why? Dallas is now known as Vance Archer and Killings is R-Truth in case you didn’t know. This is just what you would expect it to be: bad wrestling but overhyped to heck and back by West and Tenay. Badd is said to be a legend.

Even in his own mind I don’t think he’s that dumb. To the shock of no one, this turns into a big brawl. They do the random people jump into the ring and get knocked out again spots as this has no flow to it at all. Badd hits a hurricanrana to set up something resembling a Pedigree from Truth for the pin. Badd was gone in a few months as was Watts. Kenney (Simon Diamond for you ECW guys) was seen once in awhile I think.

Rating: D+. There was just no point to this at all. It was all over the place and had no flow to it. This makes 28 wrestlers in two matches. Do you think that’s enough? It’s complete overkill at this point and is just insane.

Some actor from Dodgeball says that Nash isn’t in a limo with him.

Mascarita Sagrada vs, Piratita Morgan

And we have a midget match. Morgan is a pirate. We hear the history of midget wrestling from Tenay who tries to make this interesting and fails. This is incredibly short and Sagrada wins with a small package. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Rating: N/A. It was no more interesting or boring than any other match not having Max Mini in it.

Hall says Nash isn’t here. Shock and surprise, he’ll be here later. Can no one get to a show on time?

Tag Titles: 3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada

Team Canada here is Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young while 3LK is Konnan and Road Dogg. They use the Freebird rule to fight and will use it if they win the belts here, along with Ron Killings. Anyway, this is the finale of a long feud between them which of course didn’t end here. We start with Roadie and Roode. For the life of me I do not get the hype on this guy. He’s ok and that’s it.

People to this day think he could be a main event guy. Why? Tell me one thing that he could do that would validate him as a main event guy. And I don’t mean a line like just watch him or how can’t you see it. Pretend I’m stupid and tell me what it is that this guy has that makes him a big star. Konnan is in now with Young and these two just amuse me to no end.

We have a guy that no one cares about that tries desperately to play up the gimmick of being from another country which makes him interesting when he’s just bland otherwise and no one cares about him, and then we have Eric Young. We hit the formula portion of our event with the heels working over Roadie to build up Konnan for the hot tag.

Does anyone else see this sucking harder than a Diva wanting to get a job? I miss Scott D’Amore. The guy was a fat waste of oxygen but he was a decent talker and heel manager. Nothing great here but it’s kind of like the first Mania where the tag titles changed: it allows you to have a title change so the show is memorable and has some impact to steal a pun from myself.

Konnan finally gets the tag after a heel miscommunication (remember folks: TNA is breaking NEW ground!) spot and cleans house. It of course turns into a brawl with Roadie being fine after getting taken out for about 4 minutes. D’Amore tries to use the hockey stick but Killings comes in for the save and a BAD looking X-Factor gives the Kru the titles.

Rating: C. It was average, plain and simple. This match could have been on any TV or house show or PPV and it would have been fine. At seven minutes long they didn’t have much time to get anything substantial going but still, this wasn’t much but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

And now we have Piper’s Pit with Jimmy Snuka. This has seriously been done to death and for the life of me I don’t get it. We understand: Snuka got hit with a coconut twenty years ago at this point. WE GET IT! Piper apparently wants to make amends by letting Snuka, who looks BAD hit him with a coconut.

This goes on for a few minutes until Kid Kash comes out. Naturally there’s a brawl, including the Naturals in a nice pun that was unintentional, and everyone leaves as the fat man takes his jacket off. I have no clue why this happened.

Trinity vs. ???

She issued an open challenge, Jacqueline accepts it, the guys she manages interfere, Trinity wins with a moonsault to prove she can wrestle and doesn’t just have a job because she looks decent and that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Can you tell I didn’t care? I hope I was subtle with it.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

AJ wants to be champion again.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles

AJ was a huge star almost at this point but he was still the king of the midcard as he would be for a long time to come, as in like 5 years. These two just go freaking nuts like an old school cruiserweight match. AJ hits a perfect backflip off the apron to the floor and then a senton over the top rope to the floor. Petey takes over with a jawbreaker and we get down to a bit more of a standard match to set up AJ’s big comeback.

For a crowd the all loves AJ that’s a heck of a dueling chant they have going. Ok that was cool. Petey puts AJ in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch. He does it again and AJ does more or less a really bit sit up and grabs AJ to pull him back in a German suplex which he follows with a Pele. I LOVE that springboard forearm. It just looks awesome.

Both guys counter each other’s finisher and then AJ just chucks Petey into the corner. That’s one way to do it I guess. AJ has the pin but the fat Canadian coach interrupts it. AJ kicks out of a belt shot so at least the match should be ok for the ending as that would have killed it for me. After more interference, we get the awesome finish as Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer, which is just completely awesome. It’s a jumping flip piledriver. In other words he’s got him in a regular piledriver but jumps forward and does a full flip before hitting it. That’s just amazing on a lot of levels.

Rating: B. This was very fun but AJ should have gone over here. I mean it’s your biggest show and your top face for the most part goes over to a generic guy with a cool finisher. That just doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s TNA so why am I surprised? Fun match though.

Dang there haven’t been many interviews tonight.

We recap this way too long of a feud with nothing of note to talk about. They hate each other, end of recap.

XXX vs. America’s Most Wanted

So this feud more or less went on for about two years. That’s not overkill at all though is it? XXX is Daniels, Skipper and Low-Ki, but here’s it’s minus the third guy. This is elimination, last man standing rules although they use the Texas Deathmatch formula of pin then the count starts here instead. It’s also tag rules which makes even less sense but whatever.

Storm and Skipper begin the match after a huge brawl that I guess actually began the match which makes even less sense. Ok we’re two minutes in and we’re at about our fifth double team move including a Hart Attack and a Death Sentence. Why do the names of moves have to be so freaking violent??? We get a pinfall on Daniels but he’s up at about 8.

To be fair this makes it seem like XXX lost inside of 5 minutes but also it could be said that he let himself get pinned so that he could have the 9 second breather, which at least makes sense. They brawl a good bit but for the most part they’re staying in the ring and keeping this as a normal tag match. There’s a chair being used a fair amount which strikes me as odd.

Speaking of striking a shot to Storm’s knee puts him down for thirteen to make it 2-1. After some miscommunication that sends Skipper to the floor, a guillotine legdrop makes it Skipper vs. Harris. Skipper is messed up bad and he looks like he’s got one heck of a concussion. To my surprise the other two are gone. They need to end this, like now. Skipper looks like Brock did at Mania 19 if that tells you anything.

So what does TNA do when the guy can’t even set up his one big move? They have him take a Catatonic, a big spinning slam onto a chair. You couldn’t improvise a leg injury and have him just not be able to stand? To prove how out of it he is, he tries to get up at 10 but the referee more or less shoves him back down to end this. Thank you. At least the referee had some intelligence and decency about him.

Rating: D+. The injury just completely destroyed the ending here and it hurt the match a lot. The point here though is the complete lack of care for Skipper though as he was clearly injured badly but the match kept going anyway. I get that this is supposed to be a brutal match and so forth, but this was just ridiculous on a lot of levels. It’s ok to change something if a guy is clearly injured. Either way, the match wasn’t that good with no violence or brutality to warrant such a gimmick.

Dusty Rhodes has been elected Director of Authority or something. He makes a speech, I need a drink.

Finally it’s main event time. Hardy beat Monty and Raven on Impact to get this. It’s a ladder match here. Jarrett beat him up a few times. This somehow takes five minutes to say.

NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

It took 9 minutes to get from package to bell. Oh and remember Hall and Nash are both here and allegedly they’re both in Jarrett’s corner. Now in case you don’t know, Jeff Hardy has had ladder matches before. I need to make sure you know this, because the announcers only tell us about 49 times so because they don’t go with the full 50, make sure you know: Jeff Hardy has been in ladder matches before.

West is surprised that Hardy is using the ladder as a weapon. Has he never watched WWF television? Why do the announcers have to keep repeating themselves? There’s really no attempt at getting the ladder and it’s just moves to hurt each other. There’s no flow to this at all and it’s just spot after spot. I know the others have that also, but there’s a clear flow to it and you can easily see the differences between the two.

Hall comes out and hits a Razor’s Edge on Hardy which does nothing at all. The fans for the most part look bored as they have all night. That’s the problem here: all of these spots have not only been done but they’ve been done better by more interesting characters. There’s just no reason to care at all here and it’s painfully showing. And now we have a big ladder. Where have I seen this before?

They set it up on the floor and climb it which is completely pointless as it’s about even with what a regular ladder in the ring would be at. Oh look, Hardy is in control and Nash, with his own entrance music, is coming down. Nothing but good can come of this right? Oh you know it’s coming. They beat up Hardy and Jarrett keeps the title. They call themselves the Kings of Wrestling as they try to do the NWO thing all over again.

AJ comes out to fight them and gets beaten down then Three Live Crew (because I like literacy) comes out and fight to something resembling a stalemate before Macho Man debuts and we go off the air. Yep, the six man was your main event next month and then Savage was gone. What a mess this was.

Rating: D. This was awful. It felt like they said we’re going to have a ladder match then looked around and asked if anyone knew how to do that. It wasn’t interesting at all and it wasn’t any good. None of the spots made you want to see more and nowhere in here did I think Hardy would win. The Outsiders as usual meant nothing. They had one big moment 14 years ago and they’ve ridden it ever since. This felt like an imitation of something better but they knew it was bad.

Overall Rating: D-. I get that this was the first PPV and I’m grading it as such. This was just a failure on almost all levels. Seriously, the two top faces both lose their title matches in favor of Petey Williams, Jeff Jarrett, the Outsiders and a weak NWO parody. 1/6 of the show was one boring match, and the rest was more or less filler.

There wasn’t one moment here where I wanted to see what would happen next. This felt more like a final show than a first show, and that’s just not good, MAYBE hardcore TNA fans will like this, but casual fans will hate it. Avoid for the most part.

Genesis 2011
Date: January 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It feels like it’s been forever since TNA had a PPV.  Tonight’s main event is a #1 contenders match with Anderson facing Morgan for a future shot at Hardy.  Other than that there isn’t a ton happening.  The card looks decent but the issue I see coming is that after it happens, I’m not sure if there’s anything worth seeing.  Maybe the matches will be good as TNA PPVs can be.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Morgan vs. Anderson which more or less explains that it’s a one match show if there ever has been one.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal

 

Hey look the X Title is opening the show again!  It’s new!  It’s exciting!  It’s exactly what was expected!  They start before the bell rings and Lethal hits a rana and rams in right hands.  To be fair a fast paced match is a good way to get a crowd going so I can’t make too much fun of it.  Lethal gets a dive to the floor and hits a moonsault to the floor to continue establishing his dominance.

Kaz takes over again and we chop it out.  Things speed up somewhat with Lethal taking over after a series of counters.  I’m surprised Kaz is moving this fast as he hasn’t done that much recently.  Kaz takes over again as this has been very back and forth.  It’s the first internet broadcast for TNA also.  Lethal gets the handspring elbow to put both guys down.

This is personal of course.  Has there ever been a professional fight in professional wrestling?  In a very cool spot Lethal was on the apron and Kaz pulled him in using the ropes but moved over in a split second to catch Lethal in a cutter.  Flux Capacitor is blocked into a sunset bomb by Lethal for two.  Good stuff so far.  Apparently Kaz is in trouble if he doesn’t get the title here.

Reverse tombstone is blocked as Kaz rolls through.  Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for a close two.  He slaps Lethal to fire him up so Jay rifles off chops to the chest.  Where else would they go I guess.  Lethal sets for the top rope elbow but gets caught by a running enziguri.  When did that become the most popular move in the world as everyone seems to use it anymore.  Kaz can’t get the reverse tombstone off the top but gets it a few seconds later in the ring for the pin and his fourth X Title.

Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but this wasn’t much of a surprise at all.  I really hope they don’t go with the Immortal domination tonight though.  This was a fun match and definitely got the crowd into it.  I have a bad feeling though that this will be the high point of the card which certainly isn’t a good thing.  Still though, at least we got a good match out of the opener.

To the back and….AJ can’t wrestle tonight.  Oh great.  The ONE guaranteed good match we had tonight is off.  He’s out for six to eight weeks.  Oh sweet merciful crap.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison which is based off of Tara vs. Mickie which was the setup for this.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Mickie is still insanely sexy.  Madison is doing the whole classy chick gimmick thing again after debuting it a few days ago.  Or was it ten days ago?  Does it really matter?  Madison runs away to start but gets caught in an armdrag for two.  All Mickie to start of course as Madison shrieks.  Madison runs as Tazz makes sex jokes.

The fans say Madison can’t wrestle.  I’m so fed up with them it’s unreal.  Madison uses the ropes to get two in the corner.  This is about as uninteresting as it could be but they’re both hot so that helps a lot.  Rana out of the corner by Mickie drops the champion on her head.  Since it’s TNA we change camera angles every 9 seconds.

Cravate by Madison as we’re killing time now.  There’s a chinlock as this is going way too long, nearly at 9 minutes now.  Mickie gets a nice counter and a rollup for two.  Boot to the head gets two for Madison.  Champ tries the head bounce thing she does but Mickie counters into a wheelbarrow slam for two.  DDT is reversed and Madison gets spanked.

Thesz Press gets no cover.  Mickie sets for the DDT but here’s Tara because she and Mickie haven’t spent enough time together already.  Madison plays possum and loads up her arm with something to get the pin to retain the title.  For the love of crap get the title off of her already.

Rating: D. This got nearly 14 minutes.  Do I need to explain to you why this was a bad idea?  It wasn’t any good for the most part as Mickie dominated the whole time.  I’m bored out of my mind with Madison and her reign as she does nothing interesting while Mickie and Tara are definitely the best girls on the roster.  But hey let’s keep pushing through with the same thing the whole time right?  Bad match.

Immortal celebrates and Bischoff says that Abyss fights Williams.  That more or less seals Matt freaking Hardy as RVD’s opponent doesn’t it?  Sweet goodness.

Recap of Beer Money vs. the Guns.  Match will be fun but it’s the same feud that went on forever.

Tag Titles: Motor City Machineguns vs. Beer Money

 

Shelley vs. Roode to start us off here.  The announcers try to play up the difference in styles here which is there but it’s pretty clear they’re trying to come up with a way to make this fresh.  The fans chant for the Guns.  They go back and forth with some nice technical stuff before the Guns unleash the kicks to take over on Roode.  Off to Storm who is sent to the floor.

Stereo suicide dives (missed by the cameras) take down Beer Money as this has been one sided for the most part.  Shelley misses a double stomp so he kicks Storm in the stomach instead.  A big old clothesline gives Beer Money the advantage as the beating is on.  Shelley fights Storm off and hits Sliced Bread #2 to…not get the tag as Roode comes in.

That helps a lot as the hot tag would have been ice cold there.  Yeah I know how stupid that sounded.  They’re going with the formula here and that’s fine for this case.  Shelley can’t get out as Storm comes back in.  BEER!  MONEY!  GETS THE CROWD BEHIND THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE HEELS BUT THEY NEED A SIGNATURE THING BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WRESTLERS HAVE TO DO!  If they can chant that I’ll give them all ham sandwiches.

Sabin drills Storm on the floor and there’s the tag.  Hesitation dropkick to Roode in the Tree of Woe gets two.  Rana by Sabin takes Roode down.  Slick double team move by the Guns to set up a tornado DDT for two.  Everyone is in now as it all breaks down again.  Shelley gets a double stomp on Roode for two.

Backstabber and an enziguri gets rid of Shelley and Storm respectively.  There’s the beer spit into the spinebuster for a long two as this is getting very good very fast.  Pescado takes out Storm and Roode is in big trouble.  Skull and Bones hit but Storm pulls the referee out.  Somehow that’s not a DQ as Sabin gets caught in a Northern Lights Suplex on a counter to the tornado DDT.  DWI gets two on Sabin.  And then the Guns miscommunicate so Roode can roll up Shelley to end the title reign.

Rating: A-. Another great match from these guys which is likely going to be the match of the night so far.  I don’t have an issue with the Guns losing here as they held the titles for the better part of ever, but can we PLEASE get some fresh blood in this division so we can have a fresh matchup?  Yes this is great, but we’ve seen what, 7 matches between them in a few months?  Give us something new before this gets stale.

D-Von says he’s going to win and invokes the holy Bingo Hall.  Oh I don’t want to watch this.  Like, at all.

Recap video says the story of it which is boring and hasn’t set up anything interesting at all in it.

Bully Ray vs. Brother D-Von

 

They can’t just call him D-Von?  Ray pulls Val up to hide as D-Von comes at him on the ramp.  Val slaps him and the fight is on.  They slug it out on the floor to start with D-Von dominating.  They brawl for three or four minutes and then we get a bell.  Dang it they have even more time to waste here.  Ray begs off from D-Von and can’t hit his low blow.

Thesz Press leads to punches by D-Von.  Back to the floor again as they’re thankfully not trying to make this a match.  They’re up in the stands now as somehow this isn’t a countout yet.  A fan throws what looks like a shoe to D-Von.  Ok then.  Back to the ring and Bubba finally takes over.  Ray is busted.  He slaps D-Von in the corner and then runs when D-Von Dudleys Up.

Bubba misses an elbow as I try to think of what I’d trade to not have to watch this.  Bubba Bomb doesn’t work and D-Von gets two.  LOUD chops by Bubba in the corner set up a suplex off the middle rope for a long two.  Ray picks up a chain from nowhere in particular.  D-Von stops it and picks up the chain and whips Bubba for the DQ.  Are you freaking kidding me?

Rating: D. It was boring, it wasn’t particularly good, and it’s Bubba vs. D-Von in 2011 on PPV in a grudge match.  Do I need to explain to you why this was completely awful?  I didn’t like this in the slightest and of course it means we’re going to have another match between them because they’re draws right?

Post match the beatdown continues until the referees come out for the save.  A low blow by Bubba ends it.

Jarrett says that since Angle hasn’t been in the ring in 6 months (just go with it) he’s going to lay out his plan for him.  They’re doing the rounds thing tonight too.

TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams

 

Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see.  Williams has a hurt hand here.  Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here.  Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over.  Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note.  Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot.  The fans want AJ.

Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in.  A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two.  Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two.

Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice.  It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt.  Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title.  Get on to something else now.

Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsese it’s unreal.  Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently.  I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get.  Oh joy indeed.

RVD keeps saying he wants Hardy and Bischoff says he’s got him.  Cue Matt of course since Eric is laughing hysterically.

Rob Van Dam vs. ???

 

And of course it’s Matt Hardy with dreadlocks.  He still has a gut but it’s not as bad now.  After some basic back and forth stuff RVD hits a moonsault to the outside for two.  Big crossbody gets two.  Tenay tells us that Genesis 2011 is trending on Twitter at the moment.  To no one’s shock, that’s ridiculous.  Matt drops the back of Van Dam’s head into the buckle to take over.

Full Nelson goes on by Matt to work on the neck.  GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY.  Van Dam fights back and puts Hardy down.  Kick and a rollup gets two.  Matt has nothing on his arms and looks like he’s half ready to go.  Top rope one footed dropkick puts Matt down.  Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Hardy’s hand is almost under the rope so they break up the pin.  Twist of Hate hits RVD whose foot is out of the ring but they count the pin anyway.  Of course they do.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match but at the end of the day it’s Matt Hardy: the guy that never meant a thing compared to what he was supposed to be.  He’s not a main event guy no matter what he or TNA wants us to think but we’ll give him a major spot on the roster anyway and a win over a guy that was champion for like four months last year.  That’s TNA I guess though.

Angle says he’ll win.

Recap of Jarrett vs. Angle which I’m sure you all know already.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

 

Remember this is MMA rules.  We have three two minute rounds here.  Punching and striking isn’t allowed here by Jarrett Decree.  Jarrett runs for 45 seconds until Angle lays down and says to Jarrett to go for his best hold.  Minute fifteen with no contact yet.  Angle gets a second of contact after 100 seconds.  Angle gets him on the mat with seven seconds left but Jarrett gets saved by the bell.

Angle offers him a single leg which Angle blocks with ease.  Over to a key lock which he lets go pretty easily.  Head and arm choke goes on as this is ALL Kurt, meaning he’ll likely lose.  Cross armbreaker goes on and then into the ankle lock with the grapevine but the ropes save Jeff again.  “Angle’s Gonna Kill You” chant during the break.

Gunner and Murphy rub stuff on Jeff’s arm and it gets in Angle’s eyes so he’s in trouble.  And then Jarrett punches him for the DQ of course.  Angle blades with the camera on him the entire time.  Naturally he blades too deep and blood drips off his head.  Jarrett hints at there being someone else involved in this and I really hope it’s not Karen.  There’s talk of a retirement party.  I rate wrestling, not MMA.

Jarrett yells at Tazz and Tenay that he’s going to have a retirement party for himself as he’s retiring undefeated.

Jeff Hardy talks about how both guys are great wrestlers and welcome to Chapter Genesis where anything can happen.

Recap video tells us nothing we don’t know already and haven’t heard a dozen times on any given Impact in the last month.

Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Anderson

 

I really hope this has an actual ending instead of a screwjob of some point.  Morgan grabs a headlock to start after the big match intros.  There was a fifteen minute time limit announced and I have a bad feeling that’ll come into play.  All of a sudden we’re talking about Ray Lewis and what he has next to his bed.  You get multiple sports in this company I guess.

They head to the floor with Anderson in trouble.  They have a ton of time here which means they’re likely going to stretch this out as far as they can.  A main point here is that Anderson’s head might not be right which has people scared.  Anderson works on the leg for a long time.  Tazz thinks Immortal wants Anderson to win here because he has a chink in his armor.  Makes sense.

Morgan gets a swinging chokeslam off the top and a clothesline to take over completely.  They slug it out from their knees and neither guy can take over.  Carbon Footprint out of nowhere takes Anderson down for two and Morgan isn’t happy.  Since one finisher gets two the other one has to as well.  They hit heads and Anderson gets a small package for the pin.  Yep that’s it.

Rating: C. Not a bad match I guess but this is supposed to be the major selling point for the show?  The ending came out of nowhere and felt completely flat if that makes sense.  This was ok but I still don’t buy either of these guys as a main event threat.  Nothing great at all but I think it’s setting this up.

Bischoff comes out and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW!

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

 

I have a really bad feeling the title is about to change hands.  Jeff comes to the ring smoking….a joint?  I must be seeing things.  Maybe they’re afraid of the drug charges?  Twist of Hate gets two as that move is killed more and more every match.  Another Twist of Hate gets two.  Anderson sends him to the floor by the belt as they’re making this kind of competitive.

Morgan takes Hardy’s head off with the discus clothesline out of nowhere.  He sends Hardy in for a close two.  They slug it out and Anderson takes over with a neckbreaker for two.  Jeff grabs a chair but Foley pops up to grab it away.  Here’s Flair to counteract Foley and get us our run-in quorum of the main event.  Hardy gets crotched on the top but manages to shove Anderson off.  Swanton gets two.

Anderson, of course, is bleeding from the head.  Hardy’s jeans are ripped.  He takes Anderson down and calls for Matt.  RVD runs out for the fourth run-in of the match and fights Matt off to the back.  Bischoff becomes the seventh person involved in the match by bringing in a chair but gets caught in a Mic Check.  Twist of Hate is countered into the Mic Check to give Anderson the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess of a match with all kinds of people coming in while the selling from both guys was awful.  Also, no one can ever complain about SuperCena again after that performance by Anderson.  Anderson winning the title should have been a huge moment, but instead it’s going to be something that people see when they turn on Impact Thursday.  I’d be ticked off if I cared about this company, which is waning rapidly.

A fan runs in during the celebration and security takes him away.

Overall Rating: D. Anderson winning is good as it breathes some life into the title picture, but sweet goodness man this show was bad aside from that.  We get the predicted Immortal dominance, AJ being out, more Madison as champion, more Dudleys in the future and Abyss holds a major title.  Do I need to explain why this was awful?

The Anderson thing was stupid.  Hardy is pleading guilty in 11 days and they tape TV tomorrow.  It’s impossible to have a week to build up a huge main event for Impact?  Apparently so, because this is what they went with instead.  Not a fan at all as they could have waited two days, but hey it’s a shock right?  And that’s all that matters.  This show was a chore to sit through, and that’s not good at all.  They need to shift something away from Immortal, but that’s not going to happen for awhile.  Anderson winning helps a bit though, but not this way.  Bad show.

Results

Kazarian b. Jay Lethal – Reverse Tombstone

Madison Rayne b. Mickie James – Pin after a punch with a loaded glove

Beer Money b. Motor City Machineguns – Rollup

Bully Ray b. Brother D-Von via DQ when D-Von used a chain

Abyss b. Douglas Williams – Black Hole Slam

Kurt Angle b. Jeff Jarrett via DQ when Jarrett used punches

Mr. Anderson b. Matt Morgan – Small Package

Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy – Mic Check

Lockdown 2010
Date: April 18, 2010
Location: Family Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

So this is the annual let’s make the cage match like any other match show which is an idiotic concept if there ever has been one. Depending on how the two major matches go, this could be a great show or terrible. I’m not sure which yet but we’ll find out. The main events are Lethal Lockdown with Team Flair vs. Team Hogan despite neither being in the match and Pope vs. AJ which has been pushed down almost. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is based around fearing the cage. Simple but effective.

Doug Williams isn’t here due to the Iceland volcano so he’s been stripped. Sean Waltman might not be here either. Oh great.

Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm

Both guys are in Lethal Lockdown later so I guess this is a warm up match? Remember that everything is in a cage tonight. The arena looks full and great. Can’t beat that. Isn’t the point of a cage match to be, you know, in the cage? RVD beats Storm up on the floor because he can I guess. He’s busted open when we get into the cage. Cage looks great. Everything looks great actually. Definitely the best crowd and best looking show they’ve put on that I can remember.

It’s ALL Van Dam here so I’d put money on him losing somehow. I love the holes in the cage that can be used to see in. It helps with the camera work tremendously. Split legged moonsault connects but no cover. Ok then. Storm spits beer in Van Dam’s face and hits a DDT for two. Superkick is countered into the Frog Splash (it makes sense in context) for the pin. Nice opener.

Rating: B. Pretty solid stuff here and a good choice to open the show. Van Dam is very solid to say the least and this worked fine. I’m liking this show thus far. Remember who is saying that. Although, hopefully it doesn’t get really bad in the second half like Destination X did.

Hogan talks about how Team Hogan has been getting beaten down pretty badly lately. He says you don’t run people over with a car. That’s true. You use a Semi Truck Brother! Hogan says that if his team gets destroyed he might leave TNA. Hmm I wonder if that’s foreshadowing.

We get a bonus Xscape match where the winner is in the triple threat later.

Xscape match: Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick

So the idea here is just to get out of the cage first. Ok then I guess that works. It’s a Lockdown staple so that’s fine. I guess the tag match these four were supposed to have isn’t happening which is the best I think. It turns into a total spot fest of course but did you really expect much else? That’s what the X Division is supposed to be though.

Also this is FAR more logical than the tag match would have been. Also this is more logical than a 6 man match which would have been a total mess. With a match thrown together and being meant to do nothing more than fill in a spot due to a last minute change, the crazy bunch of spots is fine. This is rather short with Homicide winning. Homicide wins after the Gringo Killer. Yeah that’s a great name to use.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and it did exactly what it was supposed to. Williams not being here saved us from a REALLY illogical tag match so I can’t really complain. Also, the MCMG continue to job. Who would have predicted that? Oh wait.

Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young

Young has to win here but he won’t because of the Band. Young is wearing some kind of green tights. Ok then. Apparently Hogan has told Hall that he has to get a partner tonight or he goes it 2-1. Ok then. I say that a lot. Nash is dominating for the most part here but Young is getting some stuff in.

That’s fine with me as they’re going with the traditional formula to get to the Young comeback. No problem there. And Nash just hits the powerbomb to completely kill Young’s credibility. This show is a success even if nothing else happens.

Rating: C. Too short to be good but not long enough to be bad. That sounds like in the middle to me. I’m not sure on how quick this was but I’d go with Hall and Nash reuniting here. And a quick Nash promo says that I’m right. I smell Pac being there anyway.

We recap the Women’s Title insanity to get us here.

Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love

Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still.

Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for. Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.

Rating: C-. Not terrible actually. Love is underrated in the ring and Tara is always solid. The booking is right here and we don’t get the wacky tag partners which is never any good. I’m rather happy for the first near hour of this show. I must be coming down with something.

Tara destroys Angelina post match, I think turning heel.

Team Flair and mainly Flair talks about how this is Flair country. Flair gets in his first funny line since being in TNA by saying that JB annoys him. That’s hilarious. He’s out of his wheelchair now. I have no problem with him doing the talking for all of them actually. Also he just cuts a promo rather than screaming like a crazy man. AJ says exactly what he would be expected to say.

X Division Title: Homicide vs. Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore

If Moore wins, this show sucks. They should have just gone with a one on one number one contenders match but I can go with this I guess. No belt here since it’s in Europe I guess. I’d bet on that being used in an angle which would make sense at least. They double team Homicide to start. Apparently they don’t take kindly to qualifiers in these here parts.

Taz points out that he’s a former wrestler. That’s a good thing actually as a lot of people might not know that actually. If you started watching post 2002-03, you’ve likely never seen a Taz match. Homicide hits Eddie’s triple suplex. Scratch that as he doesn’t get through the trio.

Homicide hits a SICK double Diamond Cutter off the top but can’t get the pin. Nice spot there. Taz says he opened up a can. He and Tenay laugh like idiots. Ok then. We hit the near fall portion as everyone is making saves. It’s clichéd but it still works incredibly well.

Pretty solid stuff so far in here. After a near Gringo Killer, Kaz hooks more or less a reverse piledriver for the pin. He had Homicide on his back and dropped down. That was sweet.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here and it worked very well. There was nothing epic about it but nothing bad here at all. The absence of Williams hurt but you can’t fault them for that. I liked it pretty well and so did the crowd. Yeah I’m bumping this up.

Pope says that AJ isn’t styling at all. Then he talks about a restaurant. Was that good or not? I’m not sure.

Team 3D vs. The Band

It’s Hall and Nash in case you missed it. And it’s not a cage match anymore but a St. Louis Street Fight where falls count anywhere in the building. Uh, sure why not. This actually is a major match given the teams in it so points for that. They start on the ramp and the Outsider’s Edge is blocked.

We’re in the crowd already. 3D said no one came to see a match but rather a fight. That makes sense at least. If the Waltman no-showing thing is legit, good riddance. The crowd is definitely making this show much better.

We’re back in the ring now with D-Von all by himself. What’s Up hits on Hall. 3D through the table ends this. This was almost a squash match. Well I didn’t expect that one at all.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here. I was really surprised at the ending though as Hall just took 3D and got pinned. It looks like they’re pushing 3D towards the tag titles again which is the epitome of a head scratcher but whatever. Decent enough match since I like 3D so there you are.

We recap Anderson vs. Angle which needs to be blown off for good tonight.

Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson

This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.

Anderson accidentally leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it.

There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good. Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it.

Angle goes for the door but stops. Dang it Kurt don’t be stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too. Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage.

Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it. Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check.

We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out with it in a reference to Anderson choking him out in the ladder match on Impact before walking out. GREAT match.

Rating: A+. Yeah I said it. Great match all around and the ending made sense given the way Anderson won the ladder match. This has been a great show and it needed a great match to get it over the hump. It just got that. Angle is still one of the best in the world and he can bring it.

Angle says he’s taking some time off but when he comes back he’s winning the TNA Title.

We recap Pope/AJ, meaning they’re putting Hogan/Flair over the title match. I shake my head at that but the cage match buys them a lot of points.

TNA World Title: D’Angelo Dinero vs. AJ Styles

Hebner throws Flair out to start. If he stays gone, then sweet. We get the big match intros which it should get. Tenay thinks that Flair being gone helps Pope. You can’t buy commentary like that people! We start off rather well. One good thing about Styles is he can work just about any style you ask him to.

Pope can move out there so this is a solid looking match. Also, this is a good thing as you have two smaller guys with limited muscles in the title picture. That’s a legit alternative to WWE. AJ hits the forearm and the 450 but goes to the top of the cage and misses. Solid match so far.

The double knee hits and gets two. AJ reaches through the cage and grabs a pen from the camera guy. Uh, ok. And he jabs Pope in the eye to set up the Styles Clash for the pin.

Rating: B. Just a total letdown there at the end. I do not get the point in jobbing Pope out. For the life of me I do not get that. He match was solid though but after the previous match, the crowd was a bit dead. Still very solid stuff though and I can work with it.

We cut to the back and Bischoff is JUST GETTING HERE. Was he fly fishing in Iceland or something?

It’s time for Lethal Lockdown! The rules are just like WarGames but you can win by pin also. No mention of the cage top this time.

Lethal Lockdown

Team Hogan: Abyss, Jeff Hardy, RVD, Jeff Jarrett
Team Flair: Sting, James Storm, Robert Roode, Desmond Wolfe

Apparently Abyss is tougher than Austin. Robert Roode starts for the heels. Remember, if Team Hogan loses then Hogan leaves. In the words of Jeff Hardy’s old music, don’t you see the writing on the wall? Apparently Abyss has a hairline fracture of his hip. Sure why not? These matches are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly huge messes for the most part.

The faces win the toss based on RVD winning earlier which is STUPID but whatever. Van Dam is in second. So the faces beat up Roode for awhile because that makes perfect sense right? Van Dam is busted open from the previous match he had tonight. Wolfe is in next. Great to see jobbers getting PPV time. Jarrett comes in to make it 3-2 as I continue to shake my head at the booking of the main event.

Storm ties it up. Again, there just isn’t much to talk about in between the periods really. Van Dam is nice and bloody. We’re down to Sting and Hardy for those keeping score. And there’s no Hardy. Check the stairwells. Yep Sting got to him. And here’s Sting. Ah ok they are doing the roof with weapons thing. That’s a nice touch.

Ok so now pins and submissions are legal. It’s a weapons mess at this point now as you would expect as we kill time before the finish. Jarrett gets knocked to the floor and Beer Money follows them. And it’s thumbtack time. Abyss takes a beer bottle to the head to stop that though. I’d love to see someone sue for assault of something. What a great heel move that would be. And now it’s time for Hardy.

Jarrett gets a guitar shot from the top followed by a 5 Star to Wolfe. Sting gets chokeslammed onto the tacks and Jeff goes up top. He’s able to beat up both of Beer Money after being hit by a baseball bat. Sure why not. And of course there’s a table on top of the cage. Why not?

Jeff climbs a ladder and splashes Storm on top of the cage to….a mild pop. And there’s Flair’s music. Ok then. Dang it here comes Hogan too. Flair is BITING ABYSS’ HAND TO GET THE RING OFF! That is hilarious! Bischoff comes out now and he throws knucks to Hogan who beats up Flair. And he takes his shirt off to fall onto the tacks. Sure why not. And Abyss gets the pin on Wolfe of course. Why have anyone but the jobber job I guess?

Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me. The ending was just bad. Hogan and Flair were the focus of the angle. I get that. The point is they never should have been. This was to get Hogan over even more and to have him go over Flair. Seriously, has Flair EVER gotten a win over Hogan? Not that I remember at least.

Also, Hardy and Abyss are just fine after attacks like that? Really? We’re just supposed to go along with that? Sure why not. Either way, this didn’t do it for me. Pope should have won the title to end the show but hey, Hogan gets to shine in the end and that’s the important thing right?

Overall Rating: B+. The ending just took a lot of the life out of it, but this was a VERY good show. Nothing on here is truly bad and there is a classic match on it which is a major thing for it. It gives you a thing you can point to and say see the show because of THIS.

The booking I question a lot for the last two matches though. Pope looks like just another guy at this point and AJ has…who left now? RVD I guess, but at a show like Sacrifice? Not sure on that one. Then again that match shouldn’t be happening here but whatever. Either way, good show and certainly worth checking out, especially the Anderson/Angle match.