WrestleWar 1991
Date: February 24, 1991
Location: Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

I’m running out of WCW PPVs to do, but before I get done with them I still have one last WARGAMES to get through. Oh that makes me feel better. Tonight’s main event is in the double cage and we have Sting’s team vs. the Horsemen. Well three Horsemen and Larry Zbyszko who is subbing for an injured Arn Anderson. I would usually say what else is on the card, but screw that. This show has WarGames. Let’s get to it.

The arena looks much more modern, partially because it isn’t in half darkness as it had been for most of the 80s.

Tony runs down the card and throws it to our announcers.

Six Man Tag Titles: Junkyard Dog/Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Stage Patrol/Big Cat

Where do I even start? Ok so odds are you haven’t heard of these titles before, and there’s a good reason for that: they were only around for less than nine months. The titles were first won seven days before this show at a live event. Now one might ask why they didn’t have the first champions crowned here on PPV. It’s WCW in 1991. There’s your answer and it’ll answer most of your questions. The State Patrol is Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and Lt. James Earl Wright, who is most famous for being one half of the State Patrol. Big Cat is Mr. Hughes and he’s one of the challengers here.

Cat and Dog start things off. I think you can see JYD’s gut expanding from here. He hits Cat with some headbutts and it’s off to Morton and Wright. Morton speeds things up with armdrags and it’s off to Rich. Rich slams him down and hooks an armdrag followed by an armbar. Off to Parker who gets the exact same treatment. Back to Morton for some atomic drops and then back to the same armbar again.

The Dog comes back in to crank up the fat levels of this match. Big Cat comes in again and wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Morton to face the State Patrol on his own. The numbers catch up with him and it’s time for Morton to start selling. Parker drop toeholds him down and Cat hits an elbow for two. Dropkick gets two. Morton slugs back against Parker but gets powerslammed down for two.

The State Patrol keeps up the double teaming, hitting a bulldog for two. Back to Parker as I’m seeing why this team never went anywhere. Cat comes back in for a big old backbreaker for two. Parker misses a charge and there’s the hot tag to JYD. He hits the Thump (powerslam) but Cat makes the save. In a smart move, Morton immediately dives on Parker and gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Technically this was barely passable but what in the world was the point to this match? On second thought what was the point to these titles? The match wasn’t any good as it was in essence just a bad TV main event, which doesn’t exactly fire me up for the rest of the show. This was an odd choice all around.

Alexandra York and Terrance Taylor don’t have much to say.

Brad Armstrong vs. Bobby Eaton

We hear about Armstrong’s brother fighting Desert Storm, which would be Road Dogg. Eaton gets a good reaction and the fans chant for him on his way out. Bobby jumps him during the opening and takes over for a little bit. A flying headscissors and dropkick by Armstrong set up an armbar to slow things down. They get back up and a monkey flip sets up the same armbar by Brad.

Bobby gets back up and we head out to the floor. That goes nowhere so let’s hit that armbar again. Off to a test of strength with Bobby taking over. Brad climbs up Eaton and goes to the corner for a spinning crossbody….and back into the armbar. Eaton finally gets tired of it and pops Brad in the face, but his slingshot suplex is countered into a regular suplex by Armstrong for two.

We hit the fifth armbar in five minutes as we see Jason Hervey here again. A backbreaker puts Armstrong down and he drops an elbow to the face. We hit the chinlock and Great Muta is here watching as well. Eaton hits a slingshot backbreaker for two. Off to a modified camel clutch to keep the pressure on Armstrong’s back. Back up and Armstrong tries to hit the ropes but Eaton elbows him in the face and out to the floor.

After a beating on the floor we head back into the ring for an abdominal stretch. Eaton holds the ropes because that’s just the kind of a guy he is. Anderson dives through Armstrong’s legs to see the cheating in a nice touch. Eaton misses a charge in the corner and Brad hits that perfect dropkick to take over. Bobby grabs a ducked head and hits a neckbreaker followed by the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop) for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as bad as the opener but it wasn’t that great either. Eaton would get a decent run as an upper midcard heel before turning into a jobber to the stars for most of the 90s. He was still popular after being part of the Midnight Express so it was good to see WCW capitalizing on that here. Also as usual, get Brad Armstrong if you need someone to look good, which is what Eaton would become later on.

Itsuki Yamazaki/Mami Kitamura vs. Miss A/Miki Handa

Itsuki was one of the Jumping Bomb Angels and Miss A is one of those chicks that Meltzer has given a bunch of 5 star matches too and that no one else has ever actually seen for the most part. This is something WCW did at times: bring in a bunch of female Japanese girls that were indeed different and good, but that no one really cared about. I think that’s Kitamura and Handa starting things off but JR isn’t exactly helpful here. You can imagine what Dusty sounds like.

Miss A’s team jumps the others which is a good idea as she’s pretty much a monster, standing nearly 6’0 and weighing about 200lbs. In other words, imagine Daniel Bryan against three AJ’s. Itsuki tries to speed things up but all of her work is lost when it’s off to Mami who takes some HARD kicks from A. Mami stays in for a bit, only to have her legs beaten half to death.

Back to Itsuki who is having FAR more luck out there over her partner. The match keeps going as Dusty wants to hook JR up with Miss A. Ok then. Handa, the much smaller member of her team, gets a few rollups for two until it’s back to Itsuki. A comes back in and it’s time to kick. A throws Itsuki around for awhile and then double teams with Handa. Itsuki comes back with a missile dropkick to both (barely) evil ones and Mami hits a top rope clothesline on Miss A. A comes back with a clothesline of her own but gets rolled up out of nowhere for the pin by Itsuki.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad or anything and was even good at times, but as usual with PPVs from this era: the match doesn’t really mean anything. It exists because the NJPW/WCW Super Show is coming up, but other than that there’s no real reason for it. It ate up about eight minutes though so I guess it has that going for it. I don’t know any of these women though so I can’t really care that much about the match, which was fine.

Missy Hyatt runs her mouth and says she’s going to go find someone to interview. Seriously why did she have a job for so long?

Buddy Landel vs. Dustin Rhodes

This might be Dustin’s WCW debut. Dustin pounds on Buddy, who is way shorter than the future golden one. Landel tries to chop away but Dustin spins him into the corner and fires away punches and elbows (think of who his daddy is) on the middle rope. Off to the armbar and then Landel gets knocked down into the corner. Dusty talks about dogs for some reason and Dustin charges shoulder first into the post.

Landel takes over off the miss and pounds away with his wide array of stomps. A forearm to the head gets two. He puts on an armbar and pounds away at the head. They seem to mess up an Irish whip and Buddy hooks a sleeper. Dustin counters into one of his own which is quickly broken. Buddy charges into a boot and gets caught in a baboon (not high enough for a gorilla) press slam. Bulldog gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing to see as Dustin was still really young and not very good at all yet. He would get a lot better, but sweet goodness his early stuff was hard to sit through. The problem he had was that he wasn’t anything but Dusty’s son for about a year before he started to come into his own. This was a pretty bad match but Dustin was only twenty one at this point so he probably wasn’t ready for this kind of spot yet.

Missy tries to go into the men’s dressing room and finds Stan Hansen. I seem to remember her doing this at a bunch of PPVs. Hansen throws her out.

Young Pistols vs. Royal Family

The Family is Rip Morgan and Jack Victory and are allegedly both from New Zealand. They jump the Pistols to start but the Pistols counter a double Irish whip. The Family easily takes their heads off with clotheslines in a nice counter. With Smothers getting double teamed, Armstrong gets to the top for a double cross body to give the Pistols a breather. The Pistols hit a pair of dropkicks….and the lights go out. It’s WCW after all.

Thankfully they put the spotlights on, but unfortunately it means we have to see more of the match. Morgan and Smothers officially start things off and it’s time for the armbars. You see this a lot in matches from the late 80s and early 90s and I’ve never quite gotten why. Were there NO other options for rest holds to pick from? They’re also annoying because there’s nothing to talk about during the holds. It’s one guy holding another guy’s arm, then the other guy grabs the first guy’s in the same hold.

So after a few minutes of that, we get the lights back. Thanks for that guys. Off to Armstrong for some dropkicks before Victory gets the tag. Hey look: ARMBARS! Now it’s a headlock just for a change of pace. Smothers comes in off a blind tag and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two. Time for another armbar, but this time there’s a twist. Literally, as in Smothers twists the arm during the hold.

It’s back to Armstrong and the Royal Family finally gets some offense in. They take over with what limited power they have and wear down Armstrong on the mat. A double shoulder block gets two for Morgan. I never quite got the appeal of Victory. He won rookie of the year in I think 1985 and then never did anything but wear masks to fight on Clashes of the Champions.

There’s another basic double team move, this time a double clothesline for two. I can pretty easily see why the Royal Family never quite reached the Steiners’ level of tag team capabilities. We FINALLY get the tag to Smothers who cleans a few rooms of the house, but the fans flat out do not care. The Family tries another double suplex on Smothers but Armstrong dropkicks Morgan, allowing Smothers to fall on top of him for the pin to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D-. Sweet merciful goodness this was dull. This is the problem you’ll often see on these PPVs: these matches are here to just fill in time because most of the wrestlers don’t have a ton of stories backing them up. It also doesn’t help that the eight people with the top stories are in the same match at the end of the show. Either way though, this match was really boring and likely would have been with or without a good story backing it up.

DDP, the Freebirds’ new manager, says the Birds have a title match tonight because he tricked Teddy Long. Long comes out and is surprised by this, and swears that Doom is still a unit.

Z-Man vs. Terrance Taylor

Taylor is part of the York Foundation which is kind of a business organization type of heel stable. It was just starting at this point and would eventually get going in a few more months. This is No DQ after three previous matches didn’t have a clean ending. The idea here is that Alexandra York (Terri) has a computer that gives Terry a perfect plan for the match. They start with some basic stuff and Terry bails to York for instructions. They try it again and Terry gets punched in the face again.

After more talking with York it’s time for another punch from Z-Man and it’s down to the mat. Zenk drills him again and it’s time to talk to the computer. They slug it out and Zenk sends him into the ropes for a backdrop for two. Time for the headlock again as this match keeps starting and stopping which is what gets annoying about a lot of matches.

The headlock stays on even after Z-Man runs up the corner for a headlock takeover. A belly to back finally breaks the hold and Nikita Koloff is in the audience. Out to the floor and Taylor rams him into the barricade and chokes away a bit with a camera cord. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a camel clutch and let’s look at Hiro Matsuda in the crowd. Ok then.

Zenk comes back with a clothesline over the top which is fine because it’s a No DQ match, even though a clothesline over the top has been perfectly legal in every other match ever in WCW. They head to the floor again and Z-Man gets sent into the barricade. Z-Man comes back with a neckbreaker and superkick for two. This is before Shawn popularized the move so it looked a bit more exciting back then. An enziguri puts Taylor down for two but as Z-Man comes off the top with the cross body, York distracts the referee. Zenk yells at him long enough to get rolled up with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t get better until after they got done with the stupid computer nonsense. These feuds went on for a long time and eventually the Foundation grew into a cool and complex four way feud which almost got over huge but various things screwed it up. Decent stuff here though.

It’s time for the Danger Zone and Dangerously comes out dressed in stereotypical Mexican attire, including the huge sombrero. He says that he’s actually an undercover agent for the immigration offices and everyone here is under arrest. He brings out El Gigante and taunts him like a bull. Dangerously tries to get the giant to teach him English insults. Gigante says he doesn’t speak English so Dangerously throws the sombrero into his face, getting beaten up as a result. This was stupid but funny in an evil kind of way.

Matsuda and Muta talk about the NJPW show. This show is basically just a commercial for that show.

Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader

This is a rematch of a match from Tokyo that was thrown out. They immediately start on the ramp and it’s a big brawl. Vader takes him down but Hansen hits a short range lariat. Back into the ring and Vader hits one of his own to take over. Vader hits a corner splash and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Out to the floor and Vader takes him down again with more punches.

In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.

Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.

They fight to the back of course.

US Title: Dan Spivey vs. Lex Luger

The winner will be presented with a new US Title. Luger is defending of course. Lex is all fired up here, running Spivey over with a bunch of clotheslines and shoulder blocks. Lex blocks an atomic drop and hits a belly to back suplex for two. He misses a charge though and crashes into the other ring. Spivey suplexes him back into the ring and hits a tombstone for two.

After a neckbreaker it’s off to a chinlock followed by a DDT for two. After a clothesline, Spivey misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two. Of all things Spivey goes up top and drops a spinning elbow for two. Spivey chokes away with his legs and Luger is in trouble. This is a surprisingly good match. Big boot gets two. Spivey tries another piledriver but Lex escapes and gets all fired up. Lex punches him out of the corner but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two.

Back to the chinlock for a bit but once they’re back up, Spivey charges at Lex and is slammed onto the top rope and out to the floor, which isn’t a DQ because of whatever reason they have this time. A middle rope clothesline puts Spivey down but Luger’s sunset flip is countered by a left hand. They clothesline each other and slug it out before colliding to put both guys down again. Luger gets up first and goes up top but Spivey slams him down, only to have Luger hold on and small package him off the top for the pin. You could argue that’s because he had so much experience slamming Flair off the top actually.

Rating: B+. This was a huge surprise here as both guys were hitting on all cylinders. The ending was great and a move that I’ve never seen before. Luger would turn heel very soon and win the title in the summer at a show I’m sure we’ll get to later. Spivey would have a total of zero other great matches. This was really good though.

Luger goes to get the new title but Koloff hits him with the belt. He says he wants the world title but had to prove his worth first.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

There’s a fan here who won some sweepstakes who says his favorite team is Doom. JR: “Well I don’t think they’re going to be a team much longer.” That was hilarious for some reason.

We see a clip from last night with Pillman’s neck being injured. Remember that, because it becomes important later.

Quick recap of the rules of WarGames: each team has four people. One person from each team will start and they fight for five minutes. After those five minutes, there’s a coin toss which the heels will win. The heels then get to send in a man for a two minute advantage. After those two minutes, the good team gets to send in its second man to even things up for two minutes. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in and it’s first submission only to win.

WarGames

Sting, Brian Pillman, Steiner Brothers

Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Sid Vicious, Larry Zbyszko

A very taped up Pillman goes into the ring first, sneaking behind his huddling partners. He starts with Windham and fires away with clotheslines and dropkicks. Pillman goes to the middle rope and head fakes him out to hit a dropkick. Remember that the match cannot end until all eight are in, making the match a minimum of seventeen minutes. A low blow slows Windham down as Pillman is all fired up.

Barry is busted open after being raked into the cage. Another big clothesline has Windham in trouble. They go into the other ring (it’s two rings side by side with a huge cage over them both) and Barry is reeling. A spinwheel kick puts Windham down and Pillman works on the leg with less than a minute to go. A middle rope punch puts Barry down and the Horsemen win the toss, sending in Flair.

Pillman and Flair chop it out in the corner. I’m 90% sure they had a title match once and dang I’d love to see it. Flair is world champion here I believe. Pillman fights off the Horsemen as long as he can but gets his shoulder rammed into the cage. That’s the worst part of his injuries so Pillman is in big trouble. They go back to the original ring and Sting goes in next.

Both Horsemen are there to meet him but Sting kills them both with clotheslines. The fans are WAY into this too. A bulldog puts Windham down and the pairings switch off. Another bulldog puts Naitch down as they’re all in the same ring again. Flair’s chops still don’t work on Sting. Stinger Splash hits Flair and Larry Z is in to make it 3-2 for two minutes. Sting dives over both sets of ropes to take Larry down.

Pillman has a figure four on Barry and Flair is apparently cool with letting him be in the hold. Finally they kick Pillman in the shoulder to break it up. Rick Steiner comes in to even things up and it’s Steiner Lines all around. He rakes Flair’s face across the cage to bust him open too as this is breaking down, in a good way. Pillman is in the Tree of Woe and Sting is busted too.

Sid comes in as the final member of the team and the pain begins. He holds Steiner for a low blow from Flair but Pillman makes the save. Larry Z of all people cleans house but Rick pounds him down. Scott comes in to even things up and now it’s first submission to win. We get the WORST camera shot ever as the camera looks at Sid and Rick as they’re openly calling spots. That was like a blooper or something.

Scorpion on Flair as Scott beats on Larry’s shoulder. Sid rams the shoulder of Pillman into the corner a bunch of times and the tape comes off. In an awesome looking visual, all of the Horsemen and Larry are put in Figure Fours at the same time. Every evil guy is in trouble except Sid who even Sting can’t get off his feet. The Steiners FINALLY put him down but Barry and Sid double team both of them.

Flair and Pillman lay some of the hardest chops you’ll ever hear into each other. Now we get to the famous part of the match as Sid grabs Pillman and tries to powerbomb him. Remembering that Sid is 6’9 and the cage roof is barely over 7’0 tall, Sid can’t get him up all the way so Pillman’s feet hit the top of the cage. This makes Sid DROP PILLMAN ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, legitimately knocking him unconscious. Sid, the nice guy that he is, powerbombs Pillman AGAIN. El Gigante is brought out to submit for Pillman who isn’t moving at all. The first powerbomb legitimately made me cringe.

Rating: A. The match is great and you absolutely can’t fault them for ending the match when they did. That was one of the scariest looking botches I’ve ever seen and Pillman is lucky to not have a broken neck. The match isn’t quite as good as the bloodbath that would happen the next year, but this is certainly awesome and is totally worth checking out. This is the mother of all gimmick matches for a reason and this is a forgotten entry in the series.

We look at the US Title attack earlier on, presumably to fill in time due to the match being stopped early.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual with shows from this era, if you cut out the stuff that was cut out on the home video version, the show is much better. Still though, with two great on here, it’s certainly an awesome show. Sting was on fire at this point and it was hard to not like whatever he was doing. Things would go into a BAD funk a few months after this though, with Sting feuding with Nikita Koloff and Flair going to the WWF in about three months, but we’ll get to that later. Good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1992
Date: October 25, 1992
Location: Philadelphia Civic Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Tonight is about Spinning the Wheel and therefore making the deal. The main event is Jake Roberts vs. Sting in a feud that I’m not sure anyone ever quite got. The idea is that you have 12 gimmicks on a wheel and whatever it lands on is the stipulation. In other words, it’s Raw Roulette. Other than that we have Ron Simmons defending against The Barbarian of all people. It was an odd time to say the least. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has the usual haunted house theme.

Tony and Bruno Sammartino do some hosting/analysis stuff.

The twelve matches on the wheel are:

Texas Bull Rope

Spinner’s Choice

Russian Chain

Dog Collar

I Quit

Barbed Wire

Cage

Lumberjack With Belts

Prince Of Darkness

Texas Death

Coal Miner’s Glove

First Blood

We get a video of Cactus Jack training Barbarian for the powerslam. That’s different.

Terry Gordy isn’t here so Steve Austin is teaming with Steve Williams in the tag title match.

Rick Rude has to wrestle twice tonight. Missy Hyatt says nothing of note about that but says she’ll vote for Jesse Ventura for president. Ok then.

Z-Man/Johnny Gunn/Shane Douglas vs. Arn Anderson/Michael Hayes/Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Gunn is more famous as Tom Brandi. So we have three guys who are young and muscular vs. a heat machine and two wrestling masters. We’re in Philadelphia. You can fill in the blanks yourselves. Gunn and Anderson start things off with Anderson pounding him into the corner. Gunn comes back with a bad dropkick and Z-Man hits one of his own. The good guys clear the ring and get booed out of the building.

Z-Man comes in legally and cranks on Arn’s arm until Bobby comes in to take over. Eaton pops him with a right hand and the place ERUPTS. Off to Hayes who gets cheered too because he’s the king of playing to a crowd. Shane comes in to work on Michael’s arm and is booed in the process, which isn’t something you would ever expect to see in Philly. Back to Eaton who is armdragged down immediately.

Eaton takes Shane into the corner and pops him with a right hand too, but he gets promptly taken down by a flying headscissors. Back to Z-Man who these people just hate. He hooks a leg bar as Jesse rants about Shane probably being a right wing Republican. Z-Man hooks a sleeper on Anderson but it’s quickly countered. Back to Hayes who pounds away and hooks a chinlock on Zenk. Eaton comes in but leaves quickly with a blind tag to Arn.

Anderson KILLS Z-Man with a clothesline and the place erupts again. Even Jesse is stunned by this and he doesn’t stun easily. Hayes hooks a rear chinlock but Zenk slams him into the mat to escape. Double tag brings in Shane vs. Anderson but Eaton cheap shots Douglas in the knee to stop the comeback, again getting a pop from the audience. Eaton drops a top rope knee drop onto the knee and hooks a Figure Four (with help from Hayes of course). Shane turns it over and atomic drops Anderson, but they hit heads. Hot tag to Gunn and everything breaks down with Gunn hitting a Thesz Press to pin Hayes. The booing is great.

Rating: C+. If this has been ANYWHERE other than Philadelphia, this would have been an excellent opener. I can’t say the fans turned on the good guys because they were never on their side in the first place. You had to know this was coming if you knew anything about the city, but the match itself was fine. Jesse’s reactions to the crowd were entertaining too as he sounded genuinely surprised.

Harley Race says Missy Hyatt can’t talk to Rick Rude. Smart man. Race isn’t supposed to be here apparently.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Brian Pillman

This should be awesome. Pillman is a heel here and would hook up with Steve Austin soon. The fans have no problem cheering for Steamboat so the crowd is back to normal. Steamboat chops him to start and hits a shoulder for two. Pillman throws him over the ropes but that doesn’t work on the Dragon. Steamboat plays possum and rams Pillman’s face into the mat to take over. Dragon busts out the armdrag/bar combination and takes over.

Pillman gets backdropped and slammed a few times, so he pokes Steamboat in the eyes to take over. See? Being evil does pay off. Steamboat is like screw this getting beaten up and chokes Pillman over his head. Brian blasts him in the back of the head when Steamboat has his back turned to take over. The headscissors gets two for Pillman and he chokes away a bit on the ropes. The Dragon blocks a superplex but jumps into a dropkick for two.

Pillman is getting frustrated because he can’t put Steamboat down so Ricky hits a Russian legsweep to put both guys down. There’s a sleeper and the Dragon is in trouble. Steamboat falls into the corner to ram Brian’s head into the buckle to escape. Pillman starts running but he catches Steamboat coming back in with a knee lift. A cross body off the middle rope gets two for Pillman. Steamboat goes up and hits a top rope sunset flip for two. Pillman counters but Steamboat counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: B. This is what you call a fast paced wrestling match between a talented face and a talented heel. To put it short, the idea worked. They worked very well together as you would expect them too, with both guys looking crisp the whole way through and the crowd reacting well to it. Good stuff here indeed.

Masahiro Chono, the NWA World Champion, selects Kensuke Sasaki as his guest referee. Harley Race will be the other one. Wait so why was it surprising to see him earlier?

Bill Watts has some announcements. Terry Gordy has been fired for breech of contract and Steve Austin will be replacing him in the tag title match tonight. Also Rick Rude has whined too much so Vader will substitute for him in the US Title defense.

US Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Vader

Rude is the actual champion but Vader is subbing for him. This is No DQ. Rude comes out too but doesn’t stick around. Race gets thrown out too. Vader hits him in the face and Koloff doesn’t really move. They slug it out a lot and Vader splashes him to take over. A HARD clothesline takes Koloff down as does a headbutt. Koloff is sent to the floor but comes back with some power offense of his own. He hits a crossbody to the back for two which is a move I’ve never seen before.

Off to a chinlock which goes on for a good while. JR talks about a thirty minute time limit and I can’t help but chuckle. Can you imagine these two going half an hour against each other? Vader finally breaks it but gets cradled for two. Koloff hits another cross body of all things for two. He’s not the kind of guy I would expect to use that but he’s the speed guy in this when you think about it.

Vader rolls to the floor to stall and then does it a few more times. Koloff finally has enough and goes out after him, but the Sickle hits the post and Nikita is in trouble. Back in and Vader goes into mauling mode, running over Koloff and sending him to the floor. There’s a HARD chair shot (remember that it’s no DQ) and we go back in where the powerbomb retains the title for Rude.

Rating: D. You know considering this was No DQ, there was a total of one thing that would fit that gimmick. They flew through this and I can see why they clipped it on the VHS. The full version was about three times as long and it wasn’t anything better. Koloff more or less disappeared after this.

Steve Williams is glad to have Austin as his new partner.

Tag Titles: Steve Williams/Steve Austin vs. Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes

Windham and Rhodes are defending here. This is actually the Unified Tag Titles but who cares about stuff like that? This was supposed to be the rubber match with Barry/Dustin vs. the MVC but Gordy is gone. Austin is in purple here which is a weird thing to see. Williams (as in the person using his real name unlike Austin whose last name is also Williams) starts with Dustin and it’s time to talk about football.

Appropriately enough they get down in three point stances and collide but the second time Williams suckers him into a clothesline to take over. Dustin clotheslines him down as well before hooking on a wristlock. Off to Barry who is having problems with his partner at this point. It’s power vs. speed here with the speed of Windham taking over in the form of an armbar. Williams armdrags him right into the corner of Rhodes and there’s a tag.

They fight over a wristlock with neither guy being able to take over for the most part. The fans chant for Flair (I think) and it’s off to Austin, who hits a dropkick to take over on the incoming Windham. While in purple. Imagine that one. Austin gets caught between the champions like a pinball and is knocked to the floor. Back in and Dustin hooks a headlock on the mat.

Jesse talks about his time in the East West Connection and how he and Adonis didn’t get along outside the ring but they did in the ring. See, back in the day wrestlers who became commentators actually TALKED ABOUT THEIR CAREERS and used those stories to make points about the matches they’re commentating on. It’s not that hard. Austin works on the leg but it doesn’t do that well.

Rhodes charges into a boot but he comes right back with a lariat to take over and get two. Windham comes in with another clothesline for another two and the same off a suplex. Back to Doc who is taken down immediately. They slug it out but Windham misses a charge and lands on the floor. Back to the future Rattlesnake as the challengers take over. Suplex gets two.

Williams comes back in and charges into a quickly broken sleeper. He ties Barry up on the floor in a hold and brings in Austin. Austin works on the arm with a hammerlock slam and it’s back to Dr. Death. Powerslam gets two as JR sounds like he wants to marry Williams. This is nothing new but it’s a bit more pronounced here. Williams breaks a chinlock with a jawbreaker but Williams brings Austin in to prevent the tag.

Barry breaks up a superplex and hits a middle rope lariat for two. Hot tag to Dustin and he cleans house with rapid fire elbows to the head. Bulldog takes Austin down but Williams makes the save. Dustin’s rush of offense is stopped cold and the challengers take over again. A corner splash puts him down again and there’s a Boston Crab. That gets followed by a body vice from Austin but even an interfering Windham can’t break it.

Dustin uses the ropes to get free and we get the always cool back bridge into the backslide for two. Dustin tries to come back against Williams but Dr. Death just casually takes him down with an amateur move. Austin and Rhodes slug it out and the future bald one takes over. Big shock right? Rhodes is busted and Williams goes after it like a maniac. That’s another fitting action for him.

Off to a chinlock from Austin which is one of the first rest holds of the match so far. An elbow misses though and Rhodes gets a small package for two. Williams hooks a chinlock as we have five minutes left. Austin drops a double ax with four to go. He hooks a half crab which is kind of stupid at this point. Dustin gets taken down again at three minutes left but the challengers don’t seem all that interested in going for the kill. Windham gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it.

There goes the referee and it’s time for a replacement. Williams hits a clothesline for the pin on Windham out of nowhere….but he’s not legal so it’s a Dusty Finish. Dustin pins Williams but he’s not legal either. There’s the lariat to Austin for two. Everything breaks down and we have a minute left. Dustin tombstones Austin with 30 seconds to go but both guys are down. Time runs out with them all standing around which is odd but the rest of it was awesome so I’m cool with it.

Rating: B+. I really liked that ending sequence with the false finish because it was the right call from a rules standpoint. The rest of it was really good as it was an extended formula tag match from four guys who were all very talented. This worked quite well and thankfully the MVC was gone forever. Williams and Rhodes would lose the titles to Steamboat and Douglas less than a month after this.

We go to Vader/Race/Dangerously with Paul taking credit for all of the success tonight. He takes credit for everything until Madusa shows up. She thanks everyone but Dangerously for winning the world title (which I guess is coming later). Dangerously goes OFF on her, talking about how HE is the one that did everything and it’s because he’s a man.

Madusa is just a woman and there is beneath him and subservient. She’s been there to take care of Rude’s needs but she was only hired for that because the other hooker was busy. He fires her from the Alliance and jumps in the air, so she hits a high kick to the face and DESTROYS HIM as even Vader and Race run away. The place ERUPTS and Jesse is freaking out. This was awesome in so many ways.

Sting comes out to spin the wheel and it lands on a Coal Miner’s Glove match. Why? My guess would be a gas leak in the WCW offices. This is one of those moments in WCW where you just shake your head and facepalm, because that is probably the worst possible choice they could have made. Somehow this took four minutes.

NWA World Title: Rick Rude vs. Masahiro Chono

Harley Race and Kensuke Sasake are guest referees here. Now these two had a masterpiece in Japan in a tournament final where Chono won the title, so this has potential. If you know anything about WCW in 1992, you should know what that means. Madusa comes out with Rude, making him the face after that previous segment. Oh and Chono is defending here. Race, Rude’s selection, will be refereeing inside the ring. That took about three minutes to decide.

This match serves as another great example of what was wrong with the NWA. Chono is a great wrestler. I don’t think anyone that knows what they’re talking about is going to dispute that. Chono is 29 here and in the prime of his career. That being said, I’d be surprised if more than 3% of the audience watching this show knew who he was. From what I can find, this is his first televised singles match EVER in WCW. I mean, the match had been hyped on TV and all that, but the fans are just supposed to buy into this guy as the world champion without EVER seeing him wrestle? That’s never going to work.

The fans want Flair before we get going. Rude talks trash….in English. Jesse: “He’s from Minnesota. All Minnesotans speak Japanese as a second language.” Feeling out process to start and they fight over a hammerlock. Chono takes him to the mat and the rest holds begin. The first one is an armbar which eats up a minute or so. Rude comes back with a slam and some elbows for two.

Chono gets up and slams Rude down and we hit an armbar. And then we stay in the armbar. There has to be something going on behind the scenes here. I mean think about it: how can these guys go from having a classic (and it was a classic) to being this BORING? Clearly they know how to have an exciting match and they work pretty well together, but this is just LONG stretches of them laying on the mat in a hold that isn’t going to get a submission and that bores the audience to death.

Now Rude comes back and hits some right hands, which are the most interesting part of the match so far. Jesse says Rude is shaved so he could drop weight. Ventura is trying but man alive there’s only so much he can do. We hit the chinlock as things slow right back down. Chono comes back and takes Rude right to the mat for an STF (finisher) attempt, but Rude blocks. Instead Chono just uses the leg part and things get boring again. Imagine Cena prepping for the STF for two minutes. See how the fans could get bored REALLY fast?

We’re fifteen minutes into this. Read back through the description. Does that sound like fifteen minutes worth of action? Rude piledrives him but Chono gets a foot on the ropes. Rude, likely out of boredom, fires off some more fight and WE HIT THE CHINLOCK AGAIN. JR is so bored that he’s talking about Rude’s arm wrestling career. If that chinlock isn’t your cup of tea, here’s a sleeper instead.

At least in this one the fans (including Hat Guy in the front row) are looking at a fight in the stands so they’re not missing anything. This would be opposed to the rest of the match when the fans aren’t missing anything while looking at the match. We hit twenty minutes as Jesse talks about Ben Franklin winning the world title against Thomas Jefferson back in 1796 in a 2/3 falls match. Rude shifts to a headlock but misses a top rope dropkick. Chono accidentally charges into Race and knocks him to the floor. He sends Rude into the corner where Rude lands on both referees…..and that’s a DQ. Rude hits the Awakening but it doesn’t count.

Rating: T. As in THIS is why the NWA died around this time. We had a boring match with a guy that no one cared about with a bogus ending. Why am I supposed to care about this match? Neither guy was impressive at all and the match brought down what had been a good show so far. Just awful here.

Post match there’s an argument over who wins by DQ. Sasaki beats up Race.

We look at Cactus Jack training Barbarian for the world title match. This would consist of having Barbarian on all fours with cinder blocks on his back. Jack breaks them with a sledgehammer. This is in the montage used on Are You Serious.

WCW World Title: Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons

Yeah it’s THAT Barbarian. See, for some reason WCW decided that the big names should go after the NWA Title while the WCW Title was treated like a midcard title. Simmons has a HUGE entourage bringing him to the ring. Barbarian is a Jack surrogate as Cactus is injured. They stare each other down forever and feel each other out before Barbarian pounds him down in the corner. Simmons comes back and Barbarian bails to the floor.

Barbarian gets a Stunner over the top rope to take over again and sends Ron to the floor. No one cares about this match at all and I can almost guarantee they’re not going to get the fans to care based on how good (and I use that word loosely) the match will be. Barbarian rams him into the post and then into the railing as this is already dragging less than five minutes in.

Back in and Ron hits the absolute worst sunset flip of all time for two. Barbie hooks a LONG cobra clutch which looks more like an armpit claw but whatever. A top rope elbow misses and Simmons gets a chance to breathe. They slug it out but Simmons channels the power of football to hit a bad spinebuster for two. Simmons misses a clothesline but Barbarian sells it anyway.

There’s a three point shoulder block but Jack has the referee. Barbarian kicks him in the back of the head and sends him to the floor as a result. Back in and Simmons is nice enough to roll three feet to the left so that the top rope headbutt can hit. Once that gets two, Barbarian’s chances are done. Simmons grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for the pin to retain.

Rating: F. The Barbarian just co-main evented a show. This was treated like a worthless match and to be fair, there was good reason to do that. It came off like a bad main event of a C level TV show, which goes a long way to explain the troubles this company was having around this time. Just awful here.

Sting, Bruno and Erik Watts talk about the match we just sat through.

Sting vs. Jake Roberts

Coal Miner’s Glove match, which means there’s a loaded glove on a pole. Jake uses some VERY generic rock music which would later be used by Big Bubba and had previously been used by Austin. This is non-sanctioned and Sting is just MAD over. The story here is Roberts jumped him and laid Sting out so this is revenge. Sting controls early as Roberts stalls. Sting misses a dropkick and Jake goes after the back.

They go to the floor and Jake’s arm goes into the post. Sting goes for the glove (which is about 12 feet above the ring) but Jake makes the save and hits a suplex. Jake sends him to the floor but his attempt at getting the glove results in him being crotched. Sting works on the injured arm for a bit and they head outside again. Jake hits him in the back with a chair and chokes with tape back in the ring.

This match really isn’t working either as they’re basically having a regular match, albeit very rushed. That doesn’t make me think this is a blood feud or all about revenge or anything close to it really. Jake misses a running knee lift but the Stinger Splash misses too. Jake uses the bad arm for the DDT but Sting comes as close to no selling as you can while still selling. Sting does a cool move where he swings around the pole to knock Jack down. Cactus runs out with Jake’s cobra as Sting gets the glove. Sting knocks the snake onto Jake’s face where it “bites” him, allowing Sting to get the win.

Rating: F. As I said, the glove meant nothing here as it had to be the dumbest possible gimmick they could have gone with. Jake would basically be gone after this and wouldn’t be seen in mainstream American wrestling again until 1996. This was absolutely awful though and the ending was so stupid that I can’t really believe I saw it. Keep this in mind when you’re at work: someone was paid to think of this idea.

To give you an idea of how REAL that bite is, Jake pulls the snake away, looks at it, and puts it right back to where it was “biting” him. That’s like something out of a parody of a bad horror movie. Jake is “poisoned”.

We get about four minutes of wrap up to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I’ve heard of shows going off a cliff before, but this went off a cliff, through the ground and landed in the ocean somewhere. The last three matches are just DREADFUL, combining to be almost an hour with the best match somehow being Simmons vs. Barbarian, which was long and dull. WCW in 1992 has a reputation and if you watch this show, you can see why. The tag match is really good and the Steamboat vs. Pillman match is solid, but other than that there’s NOTHING here other than more reasons to never think about WCW in 1992 after Beach Blast.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1991
Date: October 27, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

We’re a year after the not very scary Halloween Havoc 1990 and now we move on to the much scarier 1991 version. Tonight we have Lex Luger, the now heel world champion, facing Ron Simmons. Other than that we have a guy here called the Halloween Phantom, who is a new star debuting tonight. Well new to WCW at least. The reveal is pretty awesome though. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of a haunted house with ghostly images of wrestlers superimposed over it.

We open up outside with Eric Bischoff acting as a kind of greeter I guess. Cactus Jack and Abdullah show up with the Butcher in a tie. DDP and Diamond Studd (Scott Hall) arrive. Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham show up but the Enforcers (Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson) come up and crush Barry’s hand in the car door, which puts him out of his match later tonight. I think Barry was legit hurt and this is how they wrote him off TV for awhile.

Cactus Jack/Abdullah The Butcher/Diamond Studd/Big Van Vader vs. Steiner Brothers/El Gignate/Sting

Oh boy it’s the Chamber of Horrors. Now if you’ve never heard of this, clear some room off your list of absurd gimmicks. This is inside a cage similar to the Cell, although there’s no top on it and the holes in the cage are bigger. Inside are coffins, skeletons and a few weapons. The idea of the match is that everyone is fighting at once and at some point during the match, an electric chair will lower from the ceiling. Someone must be placed in the chair, strapped down and someone from the other team has to throw a switch, “electrocuting” them. And somehow, it’ll be even dumber than it sounds.

Oh and Gigante is replacing the injured Windham and Cactus is replacing Oz, although Oz will be in a match later and apparently Oz replaced Jack in that match. No idea why they made the switch. Jack comes out with a chainsaw minus the chain. Sting is US Champion here and yes, this is really what they’re using him for. Cactus jumps Sting on the ramp and Abdullah helps, but Rick comes out for the save. This is before we’re even in the cage. Well Rick was but he left because it’s just a cage so why should it be hard to stay inside?

In the ring Scott kills the Studd with a Tiger Driver while Gigante fights Vader. Sting gets a kendo stick to pound away on everyone he sees. Well everyone that isn’t on his team that is. Or the referee either. Speaking of the referee, he has a camera on his head here which is really more annoying than anything else. That could be an interesting idea for an angle but it never went anywhere.

People in masks pop out of those caskets. They don’t do anything but they pop out anyway. Sting clotheslines Vader to the floor and Gigante pulls Studd off of the cage wall. The Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Cactus as the chair is lowered. Vader knocks Rick into the chair but Rick clotheslines his way out of it. Sting throws a casket lid up in the air so it lands on Cactus’ head.

Now we have ghouls coming out with a stretcher. Again they don’t do anything but they’re there. Scott shatters a kendo stick over Cactus’ head, breaking him open. Cactus and Sting climb the cage and ram each other into it, which is one of the few actual clear brawls in the match. The rest of it is too hard to call because of the awful camera work. Sting has the stick now and stabs Hall with it.

It’s pretty much impossible to call this match as everything is all over the place and it’s just random brawling. Sting is busted open, as is Abdullah. Cactus goes for the switch as Rick is put in the chair, but the future Freakzilla makes the save. The heels get Rick into the chair for a second but he fights out of it pretty quickly. He gets put in there again and Cactus goes for the switch. Steiner suplexes Abdullah into the chair instead and after Cactus takes FOREVER to stand next to the switch, he throws the lever and Abdullah gets “electrocuted.”

Rating: W. As in wow, what were they smoking, or why. You can pick whichever you like and I think it’ll be fine. This was a huge mess but to me, this is pure nostalgia. I haven’t seen this match in years but I still remember about 80% of the commentary word for word. The match is terrible and incredibly stupid but it’s a fond memory for me so I can’t hate it.

Cactus checks on Abdullah post match but the Butcher gets up and beats up the ghouls that brought out the stretcher earlier.

Eric and Missy (Dracula/showgirl) debate who the Phantom is. The Young Pistols don’t care who it is. They want the US Tag Titles and are heels now.

Big Josh/PN News vs. The Creatures

The Creatures are generic masked guys, one of which is Joey Maggs and the other is Johnny Rich, the latter of which you don’t need to know. Josh is a wilderness guy and News is a fat white guy in lime green that raps. Josh starts with let’s say Creature #1. The Creatures double team Josh but it’s off to News to clean house. The fat man hits a dropkick followed by using the power of fat in the corner. Back to Josh for a bit before News comes in to miss a splash. Instead of the Creatures taking over, it’s back to Josh. Josh runs them over, hits the Northern Exposure (Earthquake) and a top rope splash from News pins #1.

Rating: F+. Another bad match here but without the fun levels of the previous one. The Creatures were never seen again of course and the other two didn’t go anywhere other than to comedy land. I really need to get back to modern wrestling where the filler matches at least have a point at times.

Terrance Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Taylor slaps him around to start so Eaton offers him a free shot. Eaton is the face here and it’s still York Foundation time for Taylor. He takes Eaton down with an armdrag but the second one is countered. Bobby speeds things up and Taylor bails to the floor. They go to the floor and Eaton is sent into the barricade, but he backdrops Taylor over the railing and into the crowd for a second.

Back in and Taylor tries to hide. Eaton blasts him with a right hand for two and it’s off to a hammerlock. Rooster Boy gets out with a jawbreaker and they go to the ramp. Eaton slams him down and hits a knee/splash off the top to crush Taylor. Back in and Taylor sends him through the ropes and into the barricade again. Taylor uses the break to go over to the computer and York for more assistance.

The solution is apparently a corner clothesline followed by a knee drop for two. They head to the ramp again and Eaton is put down by a gutwrench powerbomb. Eaton slowly gets back in and takes a top rope splash for two. We hit the chinlock which is broken somewhat quickly but a knee to the ribs stops it dead. Taylor gets some more computer advice and apparently is willing to settle for the countout.

That doesn’t work and Bobby comes off the top with a sunset flip for two. Off to a reverse chinlock by Taylor but Eaton comes out of it with a jawbreaker, just like Taylor did to him earlier. Taylor’s Vader Bomb hits knees and it’s time for Bobby’s comeback. He pounds away in the corner and suplexes Taylor down for two. A swinging neckbreaker puts Terry down but Eaton goes up and gets crotched. Taylor’s superplex is broken up and Eaton hits the Alabama Jam for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a great back and forth match. It’s amazing how much more bearable Taylor is when he isn’t acting like a bird. The computer gimmick got annoying after awhile but having him wrestle straight worked pretty well. This wasn’t quite a masterpiece but it was a very solid sixteen minute match and a nice change of pace.

Jimmy Garvin vs. Johnny B. Badd

Michael Hayes is here but he has a bad arm. Johnny is gay here but we can’t say gay so we call him “very flamboyant.” Teddy Long is still in the ring when the bell rings. They speed things up to start and Badd is sent to the floor. Back in the ring and Garvin (who is apparently a face here which I hadn’t picked up on until now) runs him over with a forearm to send Badd back outside.

Garvin works over the arm but Badd pounds away with fists. He chokes off a Teddy distraction and uses some very basic offense. A flying sunset flip is mostly messed up and it gets two. A top rope elbow gets two. Garvin dumps him over the top and nothing happens out there. Back in and they collide but Garvin beats him to his feet. The DDT hits but Teddy has the referee. The left hooks from Badd gets the pin.

Rating: D-. This really didn’t work at all. Badd was still very green at this point and it was clear that he wasn’t ready for a spot like this. Garvin was old and not very good either, although he never quite was anything special in the ring. This was supposed to be a showcase match for Badd but it came off as more boring than anything else. Badd would get WAY better in a few years though.

Missy harasses Bobby Eaton about who the Phantom is and when he doesn’t know, she whines. Was she supposed to be adorable or something?

TV Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

Dustin is challenging. JR says that if he was starting a company, he would pick Steve Austin as his #1 draft pick. See why people say he knows his stuff? Rhodes takes him down quickly but Austin runs to the ropes to hide. A shoulder puts Dustin down and a clothesline does the same to Austin. They go to the mat and Dustin’s grandparents are here apparently.

They keep going back and forth with basic stuff until Dustin clotheslines him to the floor. That again isn’t a DQ for whatever reason. Either way we get to see Lady Blossom’s rocking cleavage for a bit so it’s not a bad thing at all. Back in and Austin suplexes him down for two. Dustin’s bulldog is countered so he settles for a headlock takeover instead. Austin finally counters into a headscissors as things slow way down.

Back up and they run the ropes a bit, but Dustin misses a cross body and crashes out to the floor. Somewhere in there Dustin got busted open badly. Austin pounds away on it and hits a gutwrench suplex for two back in the ring. It’s amazing how different Austin is back here. He’s a mat wrestler who barely ever throws a punch. Off to a chinlock and the cameraman cuts over to Lady Blossom and the camera pans down to her chest in a shot that I don’t think was supposed to be seen on the broadcast.

The clock is winding down as we have less than four minutes to go and Dustin is in trouble. They trade small packages and Dustin takes him down with a clothesline, getting two. Lady Blossom (who is a dead ringer for Debra) slaps Dustin in the face but Austin’s charge misses. A second lariat gets two as Austin gets his foot on the rope. Back to the floor and Austin goes into the post with less than two minutes left. Powerslam gets two for the Natural as does the Bionic Elbow with a minute left. Austin is reeling with 30 seconds to go. Dustin goes up and hits a top rope lariat for two as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty good match although the ending was pretty obvious. Austin would hold that title for the better part of a year before trading it with Barry Windham and Ricky Steamboat. Having these fifteen minute matches with other talented guys had a lot to do with Austin becoming one of the best in ring workers ever. This was solid stuff.

Bill Kazmaier vs. Oz

Oz doesn’t have the big elaborate entrance anymore. Kazmaier was a legit World’s Strongest Man, having won the official competition three times in the 80s. He comes to the ring with an Earth shaped balloon on his back. This was supposed to be Cactus Jack vs. Kaz but Jack wanted to be in the cage. This is power vs. size and less power with the shorter guy dominating early. They do a test of strength and Big Sexy (Oz is Nash if you were one of the handful of people that didn’t know that) takes over. A belly to back suplex gets two for Oz. Kaz skins the cat, hits a shoulder block and wins with a torture rack.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This was just a quick match to I believe end the Oz character, or at least put another bullet into it. Once they realized how dumb the thing was they dropped it and turned him into Vinnie Vegas which was way more appropriate for him anyway. Kazmaier never did anything and retired in January of the following year.

Van Hammer vs. Doug Somers

Van Hammer has only been here about a month and we’re still in the squash period for him. Somers is yet another replacement, in this case taking the place of the injured Michael Hayes. The match barely breaks a minute and Hammer wins with a slingshot suplex.

Brian Pillman says he wants the Light Heavyweight Title more than anything.

Richard Morton, part of the York Foundation, says this is the first of many titles for the Foundation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Richard Morton

This is a tournament final to crown a first ever champion. Nick Patrick has that stupid head camera on again. Morton keeps running from Pillman which probably isn’t that bad of an idea. Brian slams him down and hits a spinwheel kick to send Morton out to the floor. Back in and Pillman goes to the middle rope for a double ax followed by taking it to the mat with a series of headlocks.

A good example of why the referee camera is stupid: Pillman has him down and all we can see is his arm going down. Why would I want to see that? Pillman throws Morton around with armdrags and then it’s back to the headlock. O’Connor Roll gets two for Brian. Morton works on the arm…..and keeps working on the arm…..then works on the arm some more. It’s all the same hold so this is taking forever.

Pillman finally fights up and we go to a wide shot of the crowd instead of focusing on the match. A clothesline puts Morton down and the fans aren’t all that impressed. An enziguri puts Morton down as does a backdrop. Pillman fires off some chops and they collide, sending both guys out to the floor. Pillman has his shoulder rammed into the post and he’s in trouble. Not that it matters though as they go back in and the top rope cross body gives Pillman the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring. Morton isn’t used to being on offense and it’s easy to see that he’s out of practice. There’s a reason that the face getting the tar kicked out of him is called playing Ricky Morton. The title never went anywhere and would be retired in about a year. It would be resurrected in about four years and have its name changed to the Cruiserweight Title, which would work a little bit better.

Z-Man vs. WCW Halloween Havoc Phantom

He looks like the Phantom of the Opera and comes out to the theme from the movie/musical of the same name. The announcers think they know they guy’s style but they can’t place it. A neckbreaker gets the pin in less than a minute and a half. Tony says the name of the finisher, complete with the name of the person using it and the identity of the Phantom, but I’ll save the surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

The Enforcers are defending and are Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip and are also the US Tag Champions, but their titles aren’t on the line here. For the sake of simplicity, if I say champions here, I only will be referring to the Enforcers. Chip, who looks like he has an entire steroid store inside him, hooks a quick abdominal stretch but Larry escapes.

Zbyszko is getting frustrated so he brings in Anderson. Off to the much taller Todd Champion but Anderson punches him down with ease. Todd gets sent to the apron but he low bridges Anderson to the floor, which again isn’t a DQ. Back in the ring and Anderson gets caught in a bearhug but Larry breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Enforcers are knocked to the floor.

Larry comes in to face Todd and guess what Larry does. Just take a guess. After running from Todd he makes a blind tag to Anderson who dumps Todd to the floor. Larry rams him into the barricade to take over and the Patriots are in trouble. Anderson puts a knee into the chest and it’s back to Larry. Neckbreaker gets two. Todd pounds on Anderson but Arn makes a blind tag to bring Larry back in. Larry gets caught in a suplex and it’s a double tag to Arn and Chip. Everything breaks down and Chip runs into Larry, allowing Anderson to spinebust him in half for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match with the Patriots being in there because the Enforcers needed a challenger. The match wasn’t any good at all and the Patriots clearly weren’t very good. Chip looked like he was about to explode with all of those bulging muscles on a small frame too.

We go down to Eric Bischoff who has Paul E. Dangerously and Madusa with him. Paul has earth shattering news for us. He’s tired of the booking committee saying that he’s too controversial and getting thrown off the commentary team. In the words of Bugs Bunny, of course you know this means war. While he doesn’t have a commentator’s license, he does still have a manager’s license. That’s how he’s going to take apart the company: by going through the company’s heroes one by one, starting with the biggest hero of all: Sting.

Paul brings out the WCW Halloween Phantom as his new top guy and says that the man behind the mask will be the only one on the planet that can bankrupt the company and buy it so he can fire everyone he doesn’t like. The Phantom takes the mask off and it’s…..RICK RUDE. He’s gotten a major haircut and looks evil now instead of stupid. Rude says all he cares about is himself, his women and his money. His money man has a problem with WCW and therefore this company needs to come down.

Rude talks about how he’s never had the chance to face Sting and wants to know if he’s as small as he looks on TV. Rude is coming for the US Title. AWESOME reveal here and it would set the stage for the next eight months of top level feuding in the company. On top of that, Rude was a completely different man in WCW, going from being basically a comedy heel in the WWF to being a killer in WCW. He would be the top heel in the company by February and would be that man for months afterwords.

We get a video on Ron Simmons going back to Florida State to train for his world title match tonight. Florida State head football coach Bobby Bowden says Simmons is ready.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

Simmons slams him down onto the back again and whips him into the corner time after time to have Luger hiding in the corner. Let’s talk about the Braves, who are playing in the World Series at the same time as this show. A sunset flip gets two for Simmons and Race is freaking out. Simmons misses a charge and Luger sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and an elbow drop gets two for the champion.

Lex hits a powerslam of his own for one because his back is too messed up to cover fully. Off to a chinlock as Luger tries to buy himself a breather. Simmons fights back with elbows and punches before grabbing a rollup for two. A backslide does the same and Luger is getting in more and more trouble every second. Race distracts Ron so Dusty gives him the big elbow. In a HORRIBLY STUPID MOMENT, Luger charges at Simmons who is on the ropes. Race holds Simmons against the ropes and Lex falls to the floor, AND THAT’S A DQ. That rule was so stupid that I can’t fathom it at times.

After another rest period it’s the third fall. Simmons is ready to go while Luger is sucking wind. The champion gets in a sucker punch and goes on a big rush of offense. He’s also bleeding from under his right eye. Simmons shrugs that off and pounds away in the corner. A clothesline gets two. Luger knees him in the ribs and Simmons is slowed down almost immediately. A powerslam puts Luger right back down and a middle rope shoulder puts Lex on the outside. Simmons’ shoulder hits the post and we go back inside so the piledriver can get the pin for Luger to retain.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t big on this one. This felt more like a really big TV main event rather than a PPV main event. Simmons would become a lot bigger soon enough and would get the title off Vader in 1992. The DQ here was just freaking dumb as there were far worse throws earlier in the night, but it made sense here because it needed to. Not a very good match but I’ve seen worse.

The announcers talk a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t the worst show ever but there’s really nothing on it that you need to see. Luger would leave in February so he was a lame duck champion for the next three or four months. Sting would thankfully go from this to something worthwhile by doing ANYTHING but being in that cage match. Also the Dangerous Alliance was coming and that’s nothing but gold. This wasn’t much but there are far worse shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1990
Date: October 27, 1990
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

This is a somewhat forgotten period of the company’s history as Sting is world champion and he’s being haunted by the Black Scorpion. You would think a Halloween show would be perfect for a supernatural character to be blown off but that wound up happening at Starrcade. Instead tonight it’s Sting vs. Sid for the title as well as Luger vs. Stan Hansen for the US Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just shots of the guys on the show.

Ross has a fedora on while Dangerously is a vampire.

Tony is a phantom of some kind. He talks to Ricky Morton and Tommy Rich who are teaming together because Robert Gibson is hurt.

Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Midnight Express

This would be Lane/Eaton’s last WCW match as Lane left to start SMW with Cornette. Their music (which is still freaking cool) gets a big pop. The Freebirds injured Gibson so there isn’t much heat here. Morton and Eaton get us going and it’s stalling early on. Eaton hiptosses Morton down and then does it again out of the corner. Eaton’s tights are so high up you can’t see his navel. He jumps into a punch to the ribs and Morton takes over a big.

We get a crisscross and hits a rana before it’s off to Lane. Actually scratch that as he’s just being nefarious. Now he comes in legally for a double team as Morton is in trouble again, this time off a Lane powerslam. A slingshot clothesline puts Morton down and Eaton adds an elbow drop. The Midnights are starting to cook here. Ricky gets sent to the floor and Eaton completely misses his top rope shot to the head.

Everyone but Lane is on the floor and Cornette gets in a racket shot to the throat. Morton is finally thrown back in and Lane fires off his karate shots. Cornette acts like the great manager that he is and distracts the referee so that Morton’s sunset flip is missed. Morton gets sent to the floor again and Lane hits him with a slam. The Express hits the Rocket Launcher onto Morton on the ramp in a good looking move.

Cornette gets in another racket shot to Morton as we’re almost ten minute in without Rich being in the match at all yet. He tries to come in but all that does is allow Lane to throw Ricky over the top. The idea is that Rich has no idea how to wrestle in a tag team so the Midnights are destroying the tag team expert. On the floor Morton hits a standing rana on Eaton before coming back in to small package Lane for two.

Eaton comes back in and hits the Alabama Jam but doesn’t cover for some reason. Back to Lane for more karate but Morton comes back by ramming Lane into the buckle. Still no tag but the second Rocket Launcher attempt hits knees. Eaton tags in Lane but Morton rolls into the corner to tag in Wildfire. Rich’s Thesz press is broken up so he goes up, only to get clocked by the racket. The Southern Boys come out dressed as Cornette for a distraction, allowing Morton to whack Lane with the racket for Rich to get the pin.

Rating: B. Good stuff here with the full tag team formula working to near perfection. Ricky Morton is perfect for what he was doing here, getting destroyed for about ten minutes before Rich comes in to do nothing before the ending. It’s perfect also that the Midnights go out after losing to Morton.

Bill Irwin vs. Terry Taylor

This is before Taylor is computerized and he’s no longer a farm animal. Jack Brickhouse of the Chicago Cubs is on commentary here. He’s a commentator so at least he has an idea here. The ring mat is red here and the buckles are orange if I forgot to mention that. Taylor works on the arm to start and things slow down a lot already. Irwin is a cowboy kind of guy so he has the bandana around his neck.

Taylor comes back with a missile dropkick for two. He takes it to the mat and hooks a headlock to slow things down again. Brickhouse used to be a wrestling announcer apparently. Irwin takes over and rams Taylor into his knee. A knee drop misses and it’s back to the headlock. Brickhouse snaps off a bunch of names he’s watched over the years, including Gotch and Hackenschmidt. Dang how old is this guy? His age would mean he couldn’t have seen them so apparently the guy is a liar. Good to know.

Irwin takes over again and the announcers insult Gordon Solie a bit. Brickhouse names off some other guys he used to watch, most of which you’ve heard of. He also knows most of the modern guys which is interesting. This guy could be a regular commentator. The match is being TOTALLY ignore but to be fair, it’s nothing of note with mostly rest holds. Irwin puts on a chinlock as JR is talking football.

There’s a boring chant going on now and it’s completely appropriate. Dangerously tries to get the commentary back on the match but I really don’t care to hear about it. Sleeper goes on as Brickhouse talks about Verne Gagne developing that move. I seem to remember it being Johnny Weaver but Gagne was certainly around first so maybe it was him. Then again it’s just a choke so it’s kind of a stretch to say any one person invented it.

A bridging belly to back gets two for Taylor but he walks into a tombstone for the same. Now we’re talking about the WCW Top Ten which was one of those things that was around for years but it never really meant anything. They head outside and Irwin is knocked off the ramp to the floor. Taylor takes over and drops a knee for two. Irwin chokes some more but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A small package gets the same for Rooster Man, as does a rollup. Irwin puts him down with a spinebuster but doesn’t cover him properly, allowing Taylor to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. Brickhouse, a guy that would have been in his mid 70s at this point, was by far the most interesting thing here. He seemed interested in being there and was talking wrestling almost the entire match, which is far more than you’ll get from most guest commentators. The match itself sucked as no one wanted to see it and neither guy did anything to make it better.

Tony brings out Sting to talk about his title defense later on tonight against Sid as well as the Black Scorpion. He’s tired of hearing about how big and bad Sid is and he just wants to start the fight now. Cue the Black Scorpion who is behind Sting on the stage as opposed to the platform Sting is on. Black Scorpion kidnaps some fan from next to the stage and puts her in a conveniently placed box/cage and makes her disappear. Then he pops up on the other side of the stage with the girl who Sting catches. There’s a reason this is considered the worst angle of all time.

J.W. Storm vs. Brad Armstrong

Armstrong is the Candyman which is another gimmick they gave him which was just a nickname that went nowhere. Storm is undefeated coming in and gets a good reaction. He’s 6’6 and in a leather jacket, which is taken off to reveal a good look. Why have I never heard of this guy? Storm blocks a hiptoss and kills Armstrong with a clothesline. Armstrong hits that perfect dropkick to send Storm out to the floor.

Storm comes back into the ring and charges right at Brad, taking him down with a clothesline. A big back elbow puts Armstrong down and it’s off to a chinlock. Brad fights out of it but gets caught in a hot shot for his troubles. Snap suplex gets two and a powerslam puts Brad down. Storm misses a dropkick and Armstrong hits a knee lift. They slug it out and mess up a rollup spot before Armstrong hooks a small package for the pin. Wait WHAT? That’s a huge surprise.

Rating: D+. This was a total head scratcher. Storm was undefeated coming in and was treated as a total monster for the whole match before a jobber to the stars pins him? This would be like Derrick Bateman getting repackaged and beating Tensai on Raw. I don’t get this one at all and I also don’t get why Storm didn’t get more of a push. He was in a jobber tag team called Maximum Overdrive but that’s about it. He had a great look and was a big guy who the fans seemed to be into. I don’t get it.

Southern Boys vs. Master Blasters

The Southern Boys are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong while the Master Blasters are Blade and Steel. Blade is Al Green, a guy you might possibly remember as The Dog when WCW was dying. He was also part of a team called The Wrecking Crew in the early 90s which was nothing special. Steel on the other hand is Kevin Nash, who you may have heard of.

The Blasters look like the Road Warriors. Cornette comes out in a Confederate Army uniform for some reason and complains about the Armstrong Family, which you know is hilarious. Steve and Blade get us going with Blade being clotheslined to the floor. Cornette goes on a rant about how messed up the family is, including a bunch of stories about the odd family members. Off to Smothers who Cornette has stories about too. Nash comes in and is thrown to the floor with ease.

Cornette and Heyman are about to start the Civil War up all over again as Cornette is defending the south and Dangerously is standing up for the north. The Southern Boys try a double team move but even piling onto Steel they can’t get a two count. Cornette talks about how Smothers has some famous relatives: Rock Hudson, Liberace and Truman Capote. Here’s a hint about what they all have in common: they’re all gay (well maybe in Liberace’s case but he was certainly flamboyant).

Now Cornette goes on about how his granddaddy convinced Jefferson Davis to throw the Civil War because they didn’t want to have to live in New York once they took it over. Dangerously and Cornette go at it and JR sounds completely defeated trying to talk about the match. The Blasters run over everyone and HOKEY SMOKE NASH JUST GOT UP IN THE AIR ON A LEAPFROG! I mean he got WAY up there too.

Cornette goes to cheer on the Blasters as Dangerously has no idea what to make of him. Blade goes up but jumps into a boot. Back to Armstrong and JR calls Steel Rock for some reason. The Southern Boys hit their dropkick/spinebuster combination but Cornette interferes, allowing Blade to kill Armstrong with a clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the commentary is absolutely hilarious. When Cornette gets on a roll, there is almost no one in the world that can keep up with him. The match was a squash for the most part, but the Master Blasters never wound up doing anything. See, back in the old times, you would often have tag matches or even singles matches like these on PPV or TV. There’s no real point to them and the guys might not be going anywhere, but you set them up like this in case they might go somewhere. It was a good way of having a large amount of people to pick from, but it makes for some lousy PPVs.

Freebirds vs. Renegade Warriors

The Warriors are Chris and Mark Youngblood and they’re Indians. They’re also boring beyond belief, to the point that the HATED Freebirds are cheered coming to the ring. The Birds have jobber Rocky King as their roadie Little Richard Marley here. Hayes dances around to start before chopping Mark. The Youngbloods gang up on them and clear the ring so we can stall some more.

Off to Chris vs. Garvin with Jimmy suplexing him down and throwing him over the top to the floor while the referee isn’t looking. King gets in some weak offense on the floor and it’s off to a chinlock. Hayes comes in and it’s chinlock number two. That gets reversed into a sleeper but Hayes makes a blind tag to break up the hold. Back to Hayes so he and Chris can trade chops and punches. This is a really dull match so far.

Right back to the chinlock by Hayes to make sure this doesn’t get interesting. And the hold keeps going. And keeps going. This hold has been going for FOUR MINUTES. Shouldn’t Youngblood be legally dead by this point? If nothing else it’s certainly killing the crowd. Granted the rest of the match had already killed them but this is just pouring more and more dirt onto the grave.

They FINALLY get up and Hayes sets for the DDT, drawing the loudest pop since Sting was here. Remember that the Freebirds had been injuring a lot of people lately and were hated. That’s how bad the Warriors are. Either way it gets reversed and it’s off to Garvin. They head to the floor for nothing of note as this needs to end immediately. Hayes comes back in and drops an elbow for two before THE FREAKING CHINLOCK COMES BACK AGAIN! The announcers argue over Jon freaking Lovitz as Youngblood breaks the hold, only to have it put on AGAIN.

Hayes slams him down and goes up top for some reason. That gets him slammed down and it’s off to Mark. You would think the fans would cheer after a FIFTEEN MINUTE beating, but no one is all that interested. Everything breaks down and King gets in too. The referee puts him out and the distraction lets Hayes DDT Mark for the pin.

Rating: F. There were seven chinlocks in an 18 minute long match. The fans were loudly cheering for the hated heels. I think that sums up everything as well as anything else I could say. The Warriors really were that bad and the Birds didn’t help anything at all here. This was one of the most boring match I have ever seen, and that’s covering a lot of ground.

The Horsemen (Arn, Flair and Sid. The fourth is Barry Windham but he’s not here. Remember that because it becomes important later) warn Doom and Sting that they still have time to run before the belts come to the Horsemen.

US Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Nasty Boys

This is a BIG feud and the Steiners are defending. The Nasties had beaten down the Steiners and left them bloodied after the match was made, which was unheard of at this point. It’s a brawl to start and Scott gets hit with a chair. He and Sags go into the ring with Scott escaping the superplex. He runs up the corner and hits a belly to belly superplex to take Jerry down. The crowd is going NUTS for this whole thing.

Knobbs interferes and it’s Jerry in control as he starts with Scott. Scott comes back with a Tiger Driver and Rick comes in to clean the ring. The Steiner Bulldog KILLS Sags but Knobbs breaks it up with a chair shot as the referee is getting Rick out. Knobbs, the illegal man, gets two off that. A side slam puts Scott down and the Steiners are in trouble. Powerslam gets two.

They go to the floor and Sags drops a knee on Scott, who is in big trouble. Sags comes in legally and hits a pumphandle slam for no cover. Side salto gets two with Rick making the save. The Nasties switch without a tag again so it’s back to Knobbs for more beating. Abdominal stretch goes on and the cheating draws in Rick again so the Nasties can switch again. Sags puts on a bearhug to stay on the bad back.

Scott comes out of it with the natural counter: a belly to belly suplex. The tag brings in Rick who cleans house with the Steiner Line. Rick gets knocked over the top to the floor and the Nasties hit a spike piledriver on Scott. Rick is like screw that and pops Sags with the chair. The referee is really lax about these tags. Jerry is busted open but he brings in Brian to prevent the tag to Rick.

Knobbs puts the bearhug on again and rams Scott’s back into the buckle a few times. Sags puts on a Boston Crab but Scott does a pushup to break it up, but Knobbs breaks up the tag again. A reverse chinlock goes on but Scott breaks out of that too. The Nasties try to cheat again but Scott avoids a charge and hits the Steiner Line on Jerry. Hot tag to Rick and everything breaks down.

The Steiners start pounding on the Nasties but they both get thrown to the floor. Rick comes back in with a double top rope clothesline to send the Nasties to the floor, but it lets them beat up Scott while they’re out there. Scott pulls Sags to the floor again and Rick KILLS Knobbs with a Steiner Line. There’s the Frankensteiner and I don’t care who you are, in 1990 that means it’s over.

Rating: B. What a great brawl this was. If you cut about three minutes out of this it’s a classic. This is the match that made the Nasty Boys, but since this is WCW, the idea of signing them up was unheard of so they were in the Royal Rumble less than three months after this and winning the tag titles from the Hart Foundation in about six months. The match was good, but the Steiners were so far and away better than any other team in the world at this point that it didn’t matter who they were facing.

The Nasties jump the Steiners again, hitting them with the same belt shots that started the feud.

Junkyard Dog vs. Moondog Rex

Please make this short. The Dog sends the Moondog to the floor and it’s time to stall. Back in the ring and they collide before JYD does the all fours headbutts. Moondog looks nothing like he usually does. He doesn’t even have a bone with him. A chair is brought in but it doesn’t go anywhere. Rex pounds him down while Paul asks why Mr. and Mrs. Dog named their son Junkyard. Oh ok there is a bone there but it’s on the corner. The referee takes it from him and a headbutt by the Dog gets the pin. This was nothing.

Tony talks to Scott who says it’s the Nasties’ blood on his tights, not his own. The Nasties, dressed as concession stand workers for some reason, jump Scott and beat him down. Dangerously thinks it’s hilarious.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

Doom has the titles and are recently turned faces. Anderson and Simmons start things off and AA gets shoved around. Simmons suplexes him down and headbutts him to the floor, making the Horsemen take a time out. Back in and Flair hits a knee to the back, but the suplex Anderson hits is no sold. Simmons comes back with right hands and Reed hits a knee of his own the back of Anderson. Powerslam gets two for Big Ron.

Teddy Long slaps Flair and Dangerously freaks out. Naitch comes in to face Reed and it’s time to strut. Flair goes to the eyes and takes over on a power man like only he can. Reed comes back with punches of his own and Doom hits stereo gorilla press slams to take over again. It gets back to Reed vs. Flair in the corner and the chops just don’t work on him Ric.

Reed sends him into the corner and the Flair Flip lands on a cameraman.

Simmons pounds Flair up the ramp and the chops STILL don’t work. Back to ringside and the Horsemen are in trouble. Anderson comes in to face Reed but it’s quickly off to Simmons. The Horsemen finally realize they can’t overpower Doom so they do what they do best: cheat! Flair comes back in and now his chops work. Anderson’s spinebuster gets two on Ron. Back to Flair and it’s time to go after the knee. There’s the Figure Four (on the correct leg and everything) and they even cheat during that.

Simmons finally makes it to the rope but Anderson is right there to keep Ron in the ring. Ron fights back but his right hands only get him so far. A dropkick misses and they get into a test of strength on the mat, letting Arn do his jump in the air and crotch himself spot. Back to Flair and even with Simmons worn down he can’t drop him with a shoulder. To the floor and Flair gets sent into the barricade to give Simmons a chance.

A sunset flip on Arn doesn’t work as Anderson makes the tag to Flair on the way down. Simmons hits a kind of clothesline (looked more like a jumping fist) but AA stops the tag AGAIN. Simmons is finally like screw this and drills Anderson so he can make the tag to Butch. Everything breaks down and Reed kills Anderson with a top rope shoulder for two. DDT kills Reed but Simmons makes the save. They fight to the floor and it’s a double countout which isn’t that popular of a decision.

Rating: B. I was digging this match until the end, but it was really just a setup for the better street fight at Starrcade. Granted that had Windham and Anderson due to Flair having to do something else that night but it was still the Horsemen. Anyway, good match here but the ending was more or less just a setup for a street fight later on.

Stan Hansen breaks a pumpkin which represents Lex Luger.

US Title: Stan Hansen vs. Lex Luger

Luger has held the title for an insane seventeen months coming into this, a record which is about six months longer than anyone else ever. Luger goes nuts on Hansen to start and elbows him to the floor. Back in and Hansen takes it right back to the floor, sending Luger into the post. They head back in (again) and Lex slams him down but gets taken down with a headlock takeover. A charge misses Luger in the corner and Hansen lands on the floor.

Luger rams Hansen into the ramp a few times and heads back in to drop some knees. A snap suplex puts Stan back in control and an elbow drop gets two. Hansen hits a headbutt and bulldog for two. He goes up for some reason but misses an elbow. Luger comes back with a dropkick and pounds away on the challenger.

Elbow drop gets two as does a suplex. Hansen comes back but shoves a referee which doesn’t draw a DQ for some reason. The Lariat misses but Luger hits a clothesline of his own. Here’s Dan Spivey, Hansen’s protege, to throw in the cowbell. Luger avoids that and bulldogs him down. He calls for the Rack but walks into the Lariat for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was a lot of punching and kicking, but to their credit they had Hansen win the title almost completely clean here. The weapon shot didn’t hit, Spivey didn’t touch Luger, the referee didn’t see anything at all and it was the Lariat that got the pin. Hansen would lose the title at Starrcade but this was a good surprise. The match was pretty dull though.

Teddy Long says nothing of note.

Missy Hyatt thinks Sid will win. I have no idea why she was here.

NWA World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Sting

Sid is a Horseman here. They talk some trash and Sid blasts him in the back, only to get caught by a cross body. Sid doesn’t go down, but puts Sting in a backbreaker instead. That gets no sold so Sting clotheslines him to the floor. Back in and Sid misses a clothesline, sending him up and over the top. Sid gets sent into the post and we head back inside. It’s a fast paced match so far.

Sting grabs the arm and cranks on it for awhile while we look at the crowd a bit. They go to the mat in a surprising move. Sid realizes how crazy it is to go to the mat when you’re almost seven feet tall and pops up with a clothesline to take over. JR calls Sid’s powerbomb (he was one of if not the first guy to popularize it in America) a version of a bodyslam. Another clothesline puts the champion down and gets a very delayed two.

Off to a nerve hold which is broken pretty quickly. Sting fights out of it but walks into a powerslam for two and it’s time for choking. Sting fights back again but misses the Splash in the corner. Sid hammers on him on the apron but Sting pops up to the top for a cross body, getting two. Sid takes him right back down and Sting goes out to the floor. Back to the apron and a forearm to the chest ala Sheamus gets two for Sid.

Sid goes back to the chinlock but the crowd is starting to wake up. Sting escapes but both guys miss elbows and it’s right back to Vicious in control. A bulldog out of nowhere put Sid down but Sid hits a big boot to send Sting to the apron. They fight up the ramp with Sting being left laying.

Sid goes to the ring and poses, so Sting charges, dives over the top, and takes the big man down. A dropkick puts Sid on the floor and Sting follows him out with a plancha. They fight into a convenient opening in the barricade as the Horsemen show up. Sid and Sting disappear but come back, only for Sting to pick Sid up for a slam, fall down and lose the title.

Rating: C-. The match was just ok with Sting doing what he could, but Sid’s offense was shall we say limited. He didn’t have the chokeslam yet for a secondary finisher so it was powerbomb or nothing. That being said, he never even tried for the powerbomb, which makes the ending kind of strange.

Oh and one more thing: that wasn’t Sting that got pinned. As Sid is celebrating and the fireworks are going off, Sting comes back with ropes around his wrist. He hits Sid with the belt, hits the Stinger Splash and hooks a small package to really win the match. The other Sting would be revealed as Barry Windham but it rally wasn’t that important.

Overall Rating: D+. This show isn’t the worst ever, but there really isn’t anything worth seeing. The Nasties match wound up being nothing, the Horsemen vs. Doom would be improved upon at the next PPV, the main event didn’t mean anything, and the rest of the card is pretty much worthless. The home video version, as usual, cuts down a lot of the awful stuff here and gives you a decent show. This isn’t a horrible show but there’s nothing worth seeing here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Great American Bash 1991
Date: July 14, 1991
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Off to the other end of the spectrum for the final WCW PPV. This show is widely considered to be the worst pay per view of all time. That’s the case for multiple reasons, but we’ll start with there are no good matches. Sting’s match is ok at best and that’s the match of the night. More importantly though, this is nicknamed the Flair Protest Show. This requires a backstory.

Back then, WCW was still in the NWA and Flair was NWA Champion until a few weeks before this show. The front office wanted Flair, the world champion, to be dropped down to the midcard. We’ll ignore that he was still one of the most over and best workers in the company at that point. The main event was set to be Flair vs. Luger for the world title in a cage, and you have to remember something about that: Luger had NEVER beaten Flair. Luger chased Flair and the title for years on end but never beat him. Not once. This was supposed to be the culmination of the whole feud with Luger FINALLY beating Flair.

So anyway, two weeks before this show Flair was told to take less money or bail. Flair, realizing that Vince would love to get his hands on the WCW and NWA World Champion, said see ya and went to the WWF. That left WCW with no champion, so they made Luger vs. Windham the world title match. The problem here is that Windham was nowhere near the world title level as he had been a tag team wrestler for about two years at this point. In other words, no matter who the new champion was, there was no reason to accept him.

Translation: Flair is gone, the fans are MAD, and there’s no way the winner of the match is going to be accepted as champion. For the life of me I’ve never gotten why they didn’t throw Sting in there. He was world champion a few months before this, but instead they went with Barry Windham. It amazes me that this company stayed alive as long as it did with a front office that would FIRE THE WORLD CHAMPION TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE SHOW. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of what we’re dealing with here: the dark match was Junkyard Dog vs. Black Bart, running THIRTEEN MINUTES.

We open with a long tracking shot into the arena where the cameraman buys his tickets. I remember watching this when I was a kid.

Bobby Eaton/PN News vs. Steve Austin/Terrence Taylor

Now those are some pretty weird teams. Austin is TV Champion and has Lady Blossom and her rack of AWESOME with him. Oh, and this is a SCAFFOLD match. It’s the capture the flag version too, meaning that you have to have these guys crawl across the scaffold, get the flag and bring it back to the other side. You can also shove both opponents off the scaffold but since that would be entertaining, that’s not going to happen.

The heels (Austin and Taylor) stall for fear of going up and possibly, you know, dying. After a few minutes we’re ready to “go”. Eaton walks out to the middle and Taylor inches out to him. The scaffold is MAYBE three feet wide so they’re barely able to move. Austin comes out and they stand around a bit more. Actually there is a reason for these two to be fighting: Eaton lost the TV Title to Austin.

Austin almost falls down as we’re waiting for contact. Their hands touch after thirty seconds and Austin hits a weak punch. Eaton slams Austin’s head into the scaffold, drawing Taylor out to help. This match is almost two minutes in now so you can see what I’m dealing with here. The fat man (News) comes out after Austin so Austin backs up again. Taylor comes out instead and News shoves him into Austin at the end of the scaffold, shaking the whole thing.

News and Austin fight in the corner as Taylor and Eaton go to the other side. There are railings there which give the guys a bit more security so they don’t have to be so worried about falling. Oh and the flags are the same colors so you can’t tell which is which anyway. News and Eaton are both on their stomachs and you can see that the scaffold is a freaking piece of plywood.

All four go into the heel corner so Eaton grabs the flag and casually walks across for the win. Wait that isn’t a win as Eaton comes back with the flag. Lady Blossom hands Austin some spray of some sort which blinds both of Austin’s opponents. Not that it matters as Eaton and News are declared the winners anyway.

Rating: Agoobwa. WOW. I didn’t think it was possible for an opening match to be this horrible. I was very, very wrong. I mean……WHAT IN THE FREAKING WORLD WERE THEY THINKING??? You had four guys (one of them over 400lbs) who were afraid that they would fall and break a major limb and you give them three feet to walk around on? Back in the 80s they had some of these and while they sucked, at least there were A, falls and B, A REASON FOR THE GUYS TO FIGHT! Horrible, horrible thing (it’s certainly not a wrestling match) but this isn’t on the guys in it one bit. They did all they could out there safely.

They brawl post match with News and Eaton clearing the ring.

Jim and a blonde Tony talk about Flair bailing and basically bury him because they have to, because JR and even freaking Tony are smart enough to realize that was a bad idea.

Paul E and Arn Anderson are here and they’re ready for the mixed tag in the cage tonight against Rick Steiner and Missy Hyatt. It should be Missy vs. Dangerously but they threw Rick and Arn in there to give it a chance to not be awful. Anderson is going to take care of Steiner and then it’s man vs. woman, and that’s one sided, according to Paul E at least. Anderson says if you put him in a cage like a criminal, he’ll commit the criminal act of aggravated assault. That guy was such gold on the mic. Speaking of mics, the guy holding it here is the debuting Eric Bischoff.

Jim and Tony talk in depth about the rest of the show to fill time so the scaffold can be taken down.

Diamond Studd vs. Z-Man

Diamond Studd is more famous as Scott Hall and his manager is Diamond Dallas Page. Some chick gets to rip Studd’s pants off pre match. Z-Man comes out with a bunch of chicks for some reason. He dives in to take out both guys with a clothesline and we start fast. Z-Man takes over to start but Page quickly low bridges him to the floor. Studd sends him into the crowd and pounds away.

Back in and they slug it out with Studd taking over. He pounds away with right hands but Z-Man hits a cross body for two. Studd rams in shoulders in the corner followed by his signature abdominal stretch. Z-Man finally breaks it but misses an elbow drop to stop his comeback cold. Studd clotheslines him down and kneels on him for two, but since he’s posing it lets Z-Man sunset flip him down for two. A second sunset flip attempt is countered by a right hand and they head to the floor.

Z-Man starts his real comeback on the floor, sending Studd onto the barricade like Studd did to him earlier. They go back in and Z-Man hits one of the worst looking missile dropkicks I’ve ever seen. Page gets involved again, but this time he gets pulled into the ring. The distraction works well enough for Studd to suplex Z-Man for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. What a dull match. Studd would get better, but at this point there was nothing there. Z-Man was kind of the Kofi of his day, minus the talent or the unique look or the resume. Basically he was young and popular and could have a decent match. This however wasn’t the case as it was about 7 minutes of punching and little more. I’m already in a bad mood after the opener and this isn’t helping at all.

Ron Simmons vs. Oz

Oz is Kevin Nash in exactly what his name suggests: a Wizard of Oz gimmick. The backdrop (a castle) looks AWESOME but the idea is kind of destroyed when it shakes because it’s a curtain. Turner had gotten the rights to Wizard of Oz and if this worked, it was going to be followed by a Rhett Butler character. This is I think Oz’s third match and he still has Merlin the Wizard (why they combined the legend of King Arthur with the Wizard of Oz was never quite explained) played by Kevin Sullivan with him. Simmons gets BY FAR the biggest reaction of the night so far and it’s nothing special.

Nash uses his power game to start but Ron is just fine with that. They ram into each other and it’s a standoff. That went so well that they do it again. The third time Oz smartens up and kicks Ron’s head off. Ron drop toeholds him down and Nash stumbles down to the mat. That looked awful. We get the accurate boring chant so Simmons starts firing off some clotheslines. He finally knocks Nash to the floor and the fans actually react.

Back in and they do what happens in every power match: a test of strength. Why do you never see someone like Miz do one of those? Simmons gets in trouble so he suplexes his way out of it. A dropkick misses and Oz clotheslines him back down to take over again. Nash hits a mostly bad looking side slam for two. Merlin kicks Ron in the ribs while he’s on the floor to remind us that he’s alive. Nash’s headhug is quickly broken and three shoulder blocks get the pin on Oz.

Rating: D. Oh man I’m in for a long night. We’re somehow only 45 minutes into this show and it’s already this bad. Simmons was good and on fire at this point, but he’s fighting a guy based on the Wizard of Oz. How in the world is he supposed to do anything with that? Also hitting three shoulders in a row is a lame ending. Somehow, this is by far the best match of the night so far.

Here’s the WCW Top Ten.

10. Johnny B. Badd

9. Ron Simmons

8. Diamond Studd

7. ElGigante

6. Arn Anderson

5. Bobby Eaton

4. Steve Austin

3. Sting

2. Barry Windham

1. Lex Luger

I feel so much better now that I know that. You do too right?

Richard Morton vs. Robert Gibson

Gibson had been out with a knee injury and while he was gone, Morton turned corporate (complete with the long platinum blonde hair still of course) and beat up Gibson, so here’s the grudge match that I don’t think anyone was asking for. Gibson jumps him on the ramp and Morton bails to the floor. Morton gets in and slides right back to the apron, so Gibson brings him back in. That lasts about a second as Gibson knocks him right back to the outside.

Back in and Richard grabs a headlock. That gets him nowhere so let’s stall again! To give you an idea of the times, this is in the middle of July and the next PPV is in October. Can you imagine going four months between PPVs today? Morton finally wakes up and goes after the recently repaired knee, wrapping it around the post and slamming it into the apron. He puts on a leg lock and we’re going to be here for awhile.

Morton switches to a spinning toe hold but Gibson counters into a small package for two. Back to the basic leg lock and then into a Figure Four. HOKEY SMOKE IT’S ON THE CORRECT LEG! I’m in shock. The hold completely sucks but at least it’s on the right leg (in both senses of the word). Gibson finally rolls it over but Morton gets a quick rope. The bad leg gets rammed into the apron again and Gibson can barely stand up.

Back to the leg lock on the mat which is getting pretty dull. Morton takes the knee pad and leg brace off of the bad leg so Gibson punches him in the face. Well you can’t say he’s over thinking it. He hits Morton in the face with the brace and goes to the ropes to get himself a breather. Morton kicks him in the knee again and works on it like Ric Flair if Flair had longer hair. JR talks about how this isn’t the match they expected which is true. It’s not awful but it’s not what you think of when it’s the Rock N Roll Express going at it.

Morton works on the knee even more but Gibson grabs a DDT out of nowhere to put Morton down and wake the crowd up a bit. Gibson tries a dropkick but due to the knee, there’s nothing on it and Morton takes over again. Morton goes up but gets slammed down (there must be more to that Flair thing than I thought). Gibson hits an enziguri to put Morton down and out to the ramp. Gibson follows and they both try dropkicks. Alexandra York (Morton’s manager, more famous as Terri) distracts the referee, allowing Morton to hit Gibson with the computer York carries with her for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s being generous, but at this point I’ll take ANYTHING. The match wasn’t anything great, but the psychology worked which is about all you can ask from this show. At the end of the day, I don’t think the fans wanted to see the RNRE fight, which is a big problem in a match like this. There never was a breakout star from this team, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The Young Pistols and Dustin Rhodes say they’ll win.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

Yellow Dog vs. Johnny B. Badd

This is Badd’s first big match. Dog is Brian Pillman under a mask after losing a loser leaves town match. Being a dog enthusiast was the best they could come up with for him too. Badd is basically gay here and a heel. These two had an incredible match at Fall Brawl 1995, so there might be some hope here. The Dog yells into the camera that JOHNNY BE GAY.

Badd slams him down a few times as Tony tries to explain that Dog is a big Pillman fan but not Pillman. Dog chops Badd to the floor and we stall a bit. Back in and Dog gets a rollup for two. Badd misses a clothesline and gets dropkicked into Teddy who was on the apron for no apparent reason. They go to the floor and Badd runs Dog over with a clothesline to take over.

Back in and Dog misses a cross body, allowing Badd to hit his top rope sunset flip for two. A jawbreaker puts Badd down but Badd hits a jumping knee. The crowd is DEAD here. Dog hits a release German to put both guys down and the fans still don’t care. A spinwheel kick knocks Badd down again and there’s the cross body off the top, which brings in Teddy for the DQ.

Rating: F. Brian Pillman is wrestling as the Yellow Dog and the ending was a run-in DQ. There is no other word for this other than failure so that’s the grade that it’s going to get. This was another nothing match in a series of them tonight. I have no idea what they were thinking with this dog stuff but it ended soon.

Eric tries to talk to Missy Hyatt in her locker room but he walks in on her attendant reading her a card from Jason Hervey. That goes nowhere so Eric walks in on her in the shower. Eric knew she was in it and walked in anyway. What a perv.

Big Josh vs. Black Blood

Blood is Billy Jack Haynes as an executioner under a mask. This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. Josh, a woodsman, has women with him for some reason. Blood jumps him to start and throws Josh to the outside for some heel interference. He throws Josh to the face side but that gets the expected response.

They trade chops and Josh dropkicks him down to take over. He knocks Blood to the floor twice, just like Blood did to him and for the same reactions. Josh gets knocked to the floor again and the lumberjacks finally get into the brawl. Blood drops a leg but Josh gets a boot up. Josh charges into a boot as the lumberjacks get into it again. Blood gets his ax but Dustin hits him in the knee with a piece of wood, giving Josh a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because the rest of the show has been so dreadful, but I was liking this. Blood had a good look to him and he was TRYING out there man. The match sucked because it was about the lumberjacks and there was no feud at all that I know of between the guys in the ring, but Blood was trying which is more than I can say for almost anyone else tonight.

El Gigante vs. One Man Gang

Gang is in a freaky monster look here with insane hair for no apparent reason. His manager Kevin Sullivan talks forever on the way to the ring about a death wagon. Gigante has four midgets with him for no apparent reason. Sullivan and Gang cut Gigante’s hair prior to this. The small guys get on Gang’s nerves until Sullivan hits one and we’re ready to go. Gang runs to the ramp but is quickly thrown back in.

Gang rams into Gigante and that goes nowhere. Gigante hiptosses him and hits the worst shoulders in the corner you’ll ever see. Gang avoids a corner charge and hits a middle rope clothesline to put Gigante on the ropes. Gang finds a wrench from somewhere and beats on Gigante with it which goes nowhere either. He rams the wrench into Gigante over and over but the giant won’t go down.

FINALLY some knee shots put him down and Gang works on that a bit. A splash gets two and Gigante throws Gang to the apron on the kickout. Gang gets slammed off the top, suplexed, rammed into Sullivan, has powder kicked into his face and gets clotheslined in the back of his head for the pin.

Rating: F. You know, I used to love El Gigante as a kid, but he makes Great Khali look like Daniel Bryan. I know that sounds like it’s way over the top, but I kid you not he was that bad. This was a terrible match as Gigante can’t sell anything, he has a bad arsenal, and even he couldn’t get the fans to wake up. Remembering that he was probably the second biggest face in the company at this point, that says a lot.

We recap the Sting vs. Koloff match, which started at SuperBrawl where Koloff was aiming for Luger with his chain but Sting shoved him out of the way and the chain hit Sting. Koloff jumped Sting on TV, then he did it again. Sting was mad and this is the result.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff

This is a Russian Chain match and it’s the four corners version. If this, the hottest feud in the company at the time, doesn’t get the fans going, nothing is going to. Sting, the guy that should be in the main event, gets a huge pop of course. Koloff gets in his face to start and they fire some rather low kicks at each other. Out to the floor and Koloff gets dropped on the railing. The idea here is that Koloff is the master of the Russian chain match so Sting is out of his element.

Back in and Sting rams Koloff’s head into the buckle as I’m amazed that the crowd is actually responding to this stuff. After a quick bit of Sting dominance on the floor they head back in and Sting gets two corners but Nikita breaks his momentum and therefore the streak. The idea is you have to get all four corners in a row but you can’t have your momentum broken.

Out to the floor again and Nikita hits a clothesline with the chain to take over. Sting uses the chain to pull Koloff into the post. Momentum is shifting back and forth fast in this. Back inside and Koloff pounds him down again as it shifts again. These advantages aren’t meaning anything but it’s WAY better than anything else we’ve seen tonight. Koloff drops some elbows with the chain and chokes away but won’t go for any corners.

Koloff fires off more chain shots but there’s only so much he can do because he can’t get far away from Sting. He snapmares Sting down and gets two corners. Make that three with the third one being with his head. Sting breaks up the fourth one and the streak is broken. They fight into the corner and both touch. They do it again with the second corner and Koloff hits him low. Well that’s one way to stop things. Sting hits him low right back and both guys are down.

The streaks aren’t broken off that somehow. They charge at the third and it’s tied at 3. Sting pounds on him but Koloff hooks the rope. Koloff comes back with the Sickle (clothesline) and somehow none of this breaks their momentum according to the referee. Koloff goes for the corner but Sting splashes him into it. Unfortunately that knocks Koloff into the buckle first for the win.

Rating: D+. Why? WHY IN THE FREAKING WORLD WOULD YOU HAVE STING LOSE HERE? Was NO ONE watching the show? Did no one get that the fans NEEDED something to care about here? The match itself was pretty bad too, as it was all short range stuff. These matches just don’t work other than Piper vs. Valentine at Starrcade in 83. The difference there is it was pinfall to win, which might be the catch to these things. This is the exact same finish as JBL vs. Eddie in 04 by the way.

The cage is set up. While that’s going on we get a video on Luger. He’s US Champion at this point. Barry gets a video as well.

The problems here are listed in the intro so go back and look at that if you’re interested. It’s certainly worth checking out for the insanity of it alone. The other major issue with this match: this would be like Orton vs. Kofi for the world title today because Sheamus had to be pulled out. See how this wouldn’t be that interesting? Even before they come out there’s a LOUD WE WANT FLAIR chant. There’s a history here but it’s like three years old so they don’t bother mentioning it. These two were tag champions but Barry turned on him to join the Horsemen. Scratch that as JR brings it up.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

In a cage if you missed that point and the title is vacant. Luger is clearly the more popular guy. Remember that. This is a short cage too as it’s maybe eight feet off the mat. The LOUD Flair chant begins again. Oh and another thing to complete the joke: Flair has the physical belt so they’re using the old Western States Title with a cheap looking plate over the part that says Western States.

The fans want Flair and we get going. They collide but no one goes anywhere. Luger hip tosses him down as we’re still in a feeling out process. They hit the ropes and Barry dropkicks him down and things slow down again. Small package gets two for Lex. He runs Barry over but the elbow misses. There are a lot of standoffs in this. Barry backdrops him down and they stare at each other some more. The camera guy looks at the fans as they chant for Flair. Nice job dude.

They go to the mat and Barry finally pops him in the face. A suplex puts Windham down and they stand off AGAIN. A figure four is broken up by Lex despite Barry not touching the leg at all yet. We’re like five minutes into the match so far and NOTHING has happened. Barry grabs a headlock and runs Luger over again. Lex grabs a sleeper but Barry counters into one of his own. Riveting stuff I tell you. Riveting.

Luger sends him into the corner to escape and this a DDT for two. That’s your biggest move so far people: a DDT. Lex goes up and gets slammed down, followed by a knee drop for two from Barry. Windham misses a top rope knee drop and Lex hits his series of clotheslines for two. There’s a powerslam and Luger puts him in the Rack but Barry kicks off the cage and backflips out in a cool counter.

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that while there were two or three good minutes at the end, the first five minutes of the thirteen minute match were just dull. The heel turn at the end made NO sense and most people didn’t catch on because they popped for the pin. The match just wasn’t that good but there were good pieces to it if that makes sense. The ending sucked though and that brings it down even more. Eh screw it we’ll go with a D+. They earned it. Take that for what you will.

Paul E. Dangerously/Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner/Missy Hyatt

Yeah there’s still this to go. Why is it here? To send the fans home “happy”. JR admits there’s almost no time left. Missy looks better as a brunette. This was supposed to be a six man with Scott and Barry in there, but Scott got hurt by Dick Murdoch and Dick Slater. Speaking of them, they come out to kidnap Missy and make it a handicap match. You know, taking away THE ONLY REASON THIS MATCH EXISTS! This is nothing as they don’t care and there’s no time left. Steiner suplexes Arn down and Paul tags in for no apparent reason. Anderson goes down, Paul gets slammed and clotheslined for the pin. Nothing match.

That’s it. Seriously, that’s how the show ends: with Rick Steiner pinning a manager/commentator in a match he was an accessory to.

Overall Rating: N. As in nothing. I have nothing after that show. I actually feel drained after watching it. This is below a failure. This was absolutely horrible and for the life of me I have no idea who thought this was a good idea. The answer was some combination of JR, Dusty Rhodes and Ole Anderson (not all of them but it’s hard to tell who was booking back then). Either way, this was TERRIBLE with the best match probably being the freaking lumberjack match of all things.

Now for the important question: is this the worst show of all time? Well…..maybe. I can’t say it’s definitively the worst of all time because there are a lot that are very close to it. Take almost any WCW PPV in 1999 or the first half of 2000 and you can clearly say they were bad for how much insanity there was going on. Uncensored 1996 is so bad that it’s hilarious, so I don’t think I can put it below this one, as this was so bad it was painful to sit through. This one can’t even be called boring. It’s firmly in the TERRIBLE category, which is the harder one to get into rather than dull/boring.

There’s nothing worth seeing here and it’s a great example of everything wrong with WCW at this point: corporate guys screwing up wrestling stuff, bad matches, a severe lack of depth in the talent pool, illogical booing (Sting not going over being one of the top issues) and not listening to the audience. Horrible show and easily one of the worst ever, but maybe not the worst.

With that, WCW PPVs are done. Unlike TNA, there was a long history of these shows and you can see very clear eras of the PPVs. Starting back in the 80s and the NWA era, you had the smoky arenas that were dark and looked like they were out of the 70s. After that you saw a clear jump around 1990 or so to a much better lit and much more modern arena. Things changed again around 1994 with the arrival of Hogan when PPVs became much more unique with the themed sets (always awesome) and the big arena feel. Then after Starrcade 97, things start to go down hill until in 2000 when they have generic sets in tiny arenas.

The general consensus about WCW and something that I agree with is that the corporate people got in the way too much. When they were finally eliminated and guys that knew wrestling were allowed to run things, the company boomed and it boomed well. The PPVs went up with them and you had the roster to help make them into the spectacles that they were. WCW went on a huge roller coaster with these shows, going from slow matches that ate up like 15 minutes each to well planned out fast paced shows, down to drek with more curves and twists than a golf course designed by Dr. Seuss on an LSD trip.

WCW could put on some incredible shows and often times they did. The key thing to them that made them great though was the variety you would get. In WCW’s top days, you would get a brawl, a lucha match, a title match and a technical match in a row on a regular basis. There was something for everyone, which is why WCW got so high. With so wide an audience being brought in, it was easy to get a lot of buys for their shows. Once that went away and it was all shock value and bad matches, the buys went away. At the end of the day, if your wrestling sucks, the people won’t be watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Great American Bash 1992
Date: July 12, 1992
Location: Gray Civic Center, Albany, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Oh geez it’s this show. I knew I avoided this one until the very end for a reason. This show is ALL about the NWA World Tag Team Titles with a single match (Vader vs. Sting for the title) now being a part of it. Bill Watts was in charge here and he knew the right idea was to bring the NWA back in. That being said, NO ONE but Watts and JR wanted that kind of wrestling, but who cares about that right? Let’s have perfectly clean and straight mat based wrestling for three hours! I’m sure I’ll find something to complain about later on. Let’s get to it.

Before I forget, the Miracle Violence Connection, comprised of Terry Gordy and Steve Williams, are already in the semi-finals, having beaten the only other possible winners of the tournament, the Steiners, at a Clash of the Champions which was ALSO all about this stupid tournament.

Oh and one more stupid thing: the Steiners were the WCW Tag Champions coming into the tournament. The MVC beat them between the Clash and this show, meaning the only team with a realistic chance to win this thing will have all the tag titles and will have already beaten their only solid challengers. Gee, it’s almost like this is a REALLY FREAKING STUPID IDEA. But this is WCW in 1992, where everything is brilliant and no one wants to see people like Sting and Brian Pillman and the Steiners right?

One of the Japanese guys is out with an eye injury so Shinya Hashimoto is replacing him. Ok then.

Here are the brackets.

Williams/Gordy

Brian Pillman/Jushin Liger

Nikita Koloff/Ricky Steamboat

Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

Fabulous Freebirds

Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

Steve Austin/Rick Rude

Dang this is going to be horribly boring.

Bill Watts says there are different rules tonight in different matches. Sting vs. Vader can’t come off the top rope but in the tournament you can. He cites the National League and the American League in baseball having different rules to explain it. See, this is where the NWA mentality falls apart: this isn’t a real sport. In baseball or whatever, there’s interest in seeing who is better. In wrestling, that’s REALLY boring and no one in modern times is interested in it. But hey, the NWA was doing SO well at this point that clearly we needed to bring that mentality back right?

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff vs. Brian Pillman/Jushin Liger

This should be good. Thankfully a match with three high fliers has the top rope made legal. Pillman and Koloff get us going and Brian bounces off of him a lot. He tries a front facelock and is easily placed on the top rope. A dropkick works a bit better and Koloff misses a charge, giving Brian a rollup for two. Off to Liger who works on the arm, as does Pillman who is tagged in quickly.

Back to Jushin who realizes power isn’t going to work so he fires off some dropkicks instead. Koloff runs him over and brings in Ricky to a BIG pop. Dang Steamboat vs. either of these guys would have been excellent. Liger gets thrown out of the ring and onto Pillman but it’s Pillman still legal. Steamboat works on the arm and then clotheslines Brian down. Pillman finally gets a tag and a double dropkick puts Steamboat down.

Liger vs. Steamboat now and they’re moving as fast as you would expect them to. Never mind as Koloff comes back in for his hit one move and stare offensive series. Back to Pillman vs. Steamboat which is certainly a more interesting match. Pillman takes him down and drops an elbow for two. Things speed up on a dropkick but then it’s back to a headlock by Brian. Liger comes in with some rapid fire kicks and the moonsault for two.

Tombstone kills Steamboat but he somehow kicks out at two. A flip dive gets two but Steamboat suplexes him down and tags in Koloff. Now Koloff hooks a chinlock, which is a popular move so far. Back to Steamboat who hits a series of backbreakers followed by a powerslam for two. Pillman made the save which I think makes them the heels in the match. Koloff hooks a chinlock on Liger before tagging Steamboat back in for a fist off the top.

Liger escapes and makes the hot tag to Pillman so things can speed up a bit. It’s not often that someone speeds things up over Liger but Pillman can do just that. And never mind as it’s back to the freaking headlock! Back to Liger who hits a cartwheel into a cross body for one. Back to Koloff who loads up the Sickle (running clothesline finisher) but Pillman breaks it up.

Brian comes in legally and hits a dropkick for two. Koloff throws him over the top but Pillman lands on the apron so it’s not a DQ. Brian hits a springboard clothesline and a top rope missile dropkick for two. He hooks a sleeper but Koloff jawbreaks his way out of it. Off to Liger vs. Steamboat again which has been the best combination of the match so far.

Ricky gets two off a missed Steamboat dropkick as does Liger off a backslide. Brian gets a blind tag and a slingshot crossbody for two. Steamboat hits a suplex to put both guys down. Pillman goes up but gets crotched, but he manages to come off with a crossbody, but Steamboat rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B-. Expect to hear the following a lot in this review: this would have been better if they cut out five minutes. There are seven matches on this card and only two matches don’t crack fifteen minutes, with one of them clocking in at 14:54. This was one of those twenty minute shindigs and it didn’t need to be at all. Koloff didn’t do much here and I’m not quite sure why he and Steamboat were partners. They were in WarGames together but that’s about it. The match was good but like I said, it didn’t need this much time.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

There’s a possibility this is out of order as I’ve found two different match orders in different places. This might be the third match on the card but I’m not sure. Either way it doesn’t make a ton of difference as the other match is up next anyway. Hashimoto is a huge guy who throws a lot of kicks. Hase is pretty good, whereas the Birds are just kind of there. Hayes and Hase get us going and it’s time to strut.

Hayes controls with a headscissors on the mat but Hase escapes with ease. Off to an armbar by Hayes and Garvin gets the tag. Hashimoto comes in and things slow down. This is a horribly bad contrast of styles here and I don’t really expect that much from it. They head to the mat and this isn’t going to be pretty. You can see the big problem with tournaments shining through here: there’s no story to any of these matches so they’re just wrestling matches which may be good and may be bad. That makes it hard to get into them almost every time.

Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.

Michael gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers talk about skunks. The Japanese guys get thrown together and won’t get out of the ring. Hayes punches them down and tags Garvin as everything breaks down. Hase hits a northern lights suplex on Garvin to advance.

Rating: D. This was bad and uninteresting. Hase was good but when you’re the only watchable guy in the whole match (yes I know Hashimoto is a legend), there’s only so much you can do. This was nothing at all and thankfully it was the shortest match of the show. The Japanese guys got loudly booed by the southern crowd of course.

Bill Watts announces the NWA World Title tournament in Tokyo to crown a new champion to replace Flair who bailed to WWF. It only took them eleven months to crown a new one, because finding eight guys to have a title tournament is so hard. After WCW left the NWA it would take over a year to have the next tournament. And they wonder why they pretty much died around this time. Watts wants a unification match with Sting which would never come.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes vs. Steve Austin/Rick Rude

Rude is US Champion and Austin is TV Champion. There’s a story to this too as it’s fallout from Dangerous Alliance vs. Sting’s boys. Rhodes and Windham are both in red for some nice team unity. Austin and Windham start things off with a feeling out process. They had been feuding lately so I don’t know why they would need to feel each other out. Austin grabs a quick rollup for two so Barry punches him in the face to take over.

After the Alliance chills on the floor for a bit, Austin comes back in and gets headlocked down. Rude and Rhodes come in with Rick pounding away in the corner. Dustin comes back with an armdrag/bar but Rude reverses into a chinlock. Dustin reverses a tombstone attempt into one of his own for two. Off to Austin who stomps away to take over. Ventura says he never broke a rule in his life in a funny bit.

Dustin clotheslines him down and kicks Austin to the floor. These two had some very underwhelming matches so hopefully this is better. Rhodes throws him back in and hooks an abdominal stretch. Windham comes in with a top rope lariat for two. Austin gets in a shot to the back and loads up a superplex but gets headbutted down. Rude comes in sans tag and he hits….my goodness he hits a missile dropkick for two. A piledriver gets the same on Barry.

Austin comes in off the top to break up the tag and hits a suplex for two. Off to the chinlock for awhile until Rude comes in for some power. He slams Barry down and swivels his hips a bit. A front facelock goes on but Windham quickly breaks it. Austin saves another tag as Jesse talks about being on the proper side of a turnbuckle. Now when’s the last time you hear analysis like that?

Barry gets a brief comeback but charges into a boot which gives Austin a rollup for two. Off to a chinlock by Austin to space out the match again. Austin cheats with feet on the ropes to draw in Dustin which lets Rude cheat even more. They do the switch without a tag which is the usual good heel stuff. Back to Austin as the Alliance continues to look good. Barry pops back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

Austin suplexes him down to prevent the hot tag one more time. Rude comes in to pound away some more, this time with knees to the ribs. Barry gets the ultimate offensive move in on Rude: the atomic drop. They hit heads and Barry falls into the hot tag. Dustin cleans house, including a jumping back elbow off the middle rope, making this comeback awesome. Everything breaks down and Dustin gets the pin on Rude with a top rope clothesline.

Rating: B-. Another good but overly long match here. The match having an actual story to it helped a lot, as did both teams being pretty awesome. They worked the formula here and they worked it quite well, which is why something like this always works: when it’s done well, it’s impossible to screw up. It’s even better with talented guys.

Here are the updated brackets:

Gordy/Williams

Steamboat/Koloff

Windham/Rhodes

Hase/Hashimoto

Harley Race says Vader is ready for Sting tonight and the Little Stingers are going to be disappointed.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff vs. Miracle Violence Connection

Terry Gordy and Steve Williams in case you were wondering. They’re the WCW World Tag Champions because WCW is stupid and won’t think ahead long enough to realize there’s no point to putting the titles on the same team. Steamboat and Gordy start things off and Gordy takes it to the mat. You’ll hear that a lot with this team. Steamboat armdrags him down but Gordy doesn’t feel like being on the mat so he gets up and walks Steamboat over for a tag to Williams.

Williams is a former Oklahoma football player so JR rattles off his entire resume in record time. Williams doesn’t really feel like selling either and he keeps fighting up from the mat while in Steamboat’s armbar. Steamboat and Gordy now and scratch that as it’s off to Koloff for some power on Steamboat’s side. Hey look: an armbar. They go to the mat but Williams drags him into the corner again. The MVC guys just do not want to stay in one place at all.

Koloff and Gordy collide but no one goes anywhere. Williams comes back in and hooks a chinlock which makes this uninteresting match even more boring. This is basically an amateur wrestling match with both guys trading very basic holds. You can hear JR stroking it to this stuff from here. Off to Williams vs. Steamboat with NOTHING going on. That’s the problem here: there’s WAY too much standing around with nothing going on. Steamboat fires off chops in the corner but Williams shrugs them off and brings in Gordy.

Gordy runs him over with a clothesline and then both of the MVC runs him over with a clothesline to mix things up. A double suplex gets one on Steamboat as the referee realizes there was no tag. So why did he not mind earlier? Williams takes it to the mat (shocking!) and cranks on whatever hold that is. Steamboat grabs a DDT and it’s a double tag to Koloff and Gordy. Williams comes back in almost immediately and takes Koloff down, locking on a headscissors.

This hold goes on for awhile as well, because that’s how holds work in this match. Koloff misses a knee in the corner and Gordy locks on an STF. Back to Williams for ANOTHER hold, this one in the form of a Boston Crab. That goes on too long so it’s back to the STF by Gordy. The Oklahoma Stampede is countered but Koloff’s face hits Williams’ head. We FINALLY get the tag to Steamboat so things speed up a bit. He goes up but Gordy shoves him down into the Oklahoma Stampede for the pin.

Rating: D-. SWEET GOODNESS THIS WAS BORING! The MVC are these big powerful guys that can mat wrestle, but they’re like the Road Warriors with the total lack of selling ANYTHING. They were barely in trouble at all, but the difference with them and a team like Demolition or the Road Warriors is that those teams were exciting. The MVC just laid around on the mat a lot and bored the crowd to sleep. There’s no way they were going to lose here either and the show dies (other than when they’re not here) as a result. Terribly boring match and you know it’s going to be the same in the finals.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

Rhodes and Hase start things off but it’s quickly off to Windham. Hase asks for a test of strength for some reason and is easily put down. He hits a hook kick to take Windham down before bringing in Hashimoto. They have a test of strength of their own and it’s off to Dustin for some ramming into each other. Hase comes in and hooks a modified crossface chickenwing to take Dustin down.

Barry comes in again and takes Hase down, you guessed it, by the arm. Shinya comes in again and hooks on a cross armbreaker. The match slows down even more if that’s possible. Dustin comes back in and cranks on the arm as well. And now let’s stand around some more until Dustin fires away with some right hands. Hashimoto comes back with a spinwheel kick and it’s back to Hase, thank goodness.

They chop it out but that’s too interesting so things get slowed down all over again. After Hashimoto did nothing of note it’s back to Hase for a Boston Crab. He lets that go for some reason and goes up for a double knee drop which misses. Off to Windham who cleans house. A suplex gets two on Hase as does a powerslam. Everything breaks down and Windham hits the lariat on Hase for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as dull as the previous match but again there was nothing at all here. This whole tournament has gone on about as predictably as it could possible go, which makes these already dull matches even less interesting. Windham and Rhodes were WAY better than the Japanese team though.

Ron Simmons says nothing of note.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Vader

This is one of those pairings that you flat out cannot screw up. It’s David vs. Goliath, but that’s if David is 6’3 and insanely strong. Actually it’s reminiscent of Brock vs. Cena from earlier this year. Vader is a newcomer here other than a few spot appearances. He had a match with Sting a few weeks before this and DESTROYED him. Sting wanted revenge and Vader wanted the title. Sting talks a lot of trash and Vader says bring it.

Vader knocks him into the corner and gets pounded down in a hurry. Sting clotheslines him and Vader smiles. A cross body bounces off the monster and Vader pounds him into the corner. Sting avoids a charge and suplexes Vader down. Another clothesline puts Vader on the floor and the place ERUPTS. This was when Sting was the hottest thing in the world and probably the biggest star in the world (remember that Hogan was gone for about a year at this point) but he had never met anything like Vader before.

Vader gets back in and wants a test of strength. Now Sting has been called a lot of things, but smart has never been one of them. He takes it and I think I can hear him scream from here. Sting pokes him in the eye and pounds away. It helps that Vader is an absolute master of selling and he flies all over the place off a single punch. Sting knocks him to the apron and suplexes him back in. Remember that Vader is about the size of Mark Henry.

A small package gets two for Sting and Vader bails to the floor. Harley Race freaks out at the cameraman which makes me laugh. Back in and Sting tries a sunset flip but Vader sits down on him to take over. Sting sells it like he’s dead so Vader drops an elbow and a splash for two. Vader puts him in the Scorpion Deathlock because he’s a jerk like that. Sting finally breaks it so Vader takes his head off with a clothesline for two.

You have to keep in mind that Vader hit harder than anyone else so this offense looks a lot more brutal. Sting hits a Liger Kick of all things followed by a DDT for no cover. They collide and Vader is knocked to the apron, but it knocked Sting silly. Vader tries to go up but Sting kicks him in the ribs to put him down. Sting picks him up off the ropes and drops him with a Samoan Drop for a delayed two. A bridging German suplex gets two.

Remember, this guy is 450lbs and Sting is throwing him around like Angle throws AJ around. Stinger Splash hits as does the second one, but Sting knocks himself out on the post. That only gets two for Vader as the fans are losing their minds over this. Sting swings wildly but falls down on a missed right. He’s totally spent so Vader powerbombs Sting’s corpse to win his first world title and SHOCK the crowd. This would be like Ryback destroying Punk for the title.

Rating: A. Keep in mind that the average rating for this pairing starts at a B instead of the usual C. The match is measured on how far above that they can get. This was one of their better one, as it was so over the top and fun that it was impossible not to get into it. Sting had no idea what he was doing against Vader yet and it would take him a few months to really get the hang of it. Their Starrcade 92 match is about as perfect as this kind of match can be. Vader would only hold the title for three weeks before Ron Simmons took it away from him and held it for five months. Vader’s real reign came in 93, holding it for most of the year.

Vader says he’s awesome and that Sting is done.

NWA World Tag Team Titles: Miracle Violence Connection vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

The Steiners come out before the match starts and are promptly thrown out. Dr. Death (Williams) and Windham get us going. Nothing of note happens there so it’s off to Gordy. Dustin finally does something by pounding away with elbows to the head. Gordy ties him up on the mat but it’s quickly off to Windham who hooks a figure four. Once that gets broken up it’s off to Williams and they go to the mat for more grappling.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Gordy who runs over Barry some more, getting two off a clothesline. Rhodes comes in and fights Williams over a top wristlock but Dr. Death cheats by pulling him down by the hair. Gordy comes in with the STF again, which he calls the Oriental Twist. Dustin fights up and puts on a sleeper but Gordy makes a fast tag so he doesn’t have to sell or anything.

Williams takes it right back to the mat and cranks on another chinlock. JR goes on a small rant about how tag ropes should be used more, because that’s the most interesting thing he can talk about right now. That’s not sarcasm if you couldn’t tell. Gordy comes back in and puts on a Boston Crab which is broken up by Barry. Williams hits a powerslam for two and Dustin just walks over to make the tag.

Barry speeds thing up a bit and hits a pair of suplexes for two on Williams. And never mind as he hooks a sleeper to waste even more time. Dr. Death immediately rams him into the post to break the hold and puts on a chinlock. Barry suplexes out of it but Williams blocks the tag. Williams hooks on a front facelock which fires up JR way too much. Barry collides with Gordy and suddenly I want to listen to some Motown.

Windham gets up and Williams knocks him into the corner for the tag to Dustin but he gets knocked down almost immediately. Williams puts on ANOTHER front facelock to make sure the crowd isn’t woken from their slumber early. Gordy gets two off a clothesline. The Oklahoma Stampede is broken up by a Windham dropkick but Dustin’s bulldog is broken up. Dr. Death kills Dustin with a lariat to complete what was close enough to a squash.

Rating: D. Again, this was technically sound but it was dull. The MVC dominated the vast majority of this and most of that was them on the mat with some kind of hold on Dustin or Windham. That may be what pure wrestling is, but DANG is it ever boring. Also this makes no sense, as now the MVC has all of the titles and has defeated all of their challengers, so where do they go now? Instead, COMMON SENSE would say have Windham and Rhodes (or better yet the Steiners) win here and build to a unification match, but instead let’s have Oklahoma/Japan dominate.

Williams says Japan is happy. Gordy says they’re awesome.

Jim and Jesse wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. Any show with Sting vs. Vader on it can’t be called a failure, but the rest of this certainly can be. There was no point to any of this at all and the whole thing existed to show us how great Williams and Gordy were. The problem is NO ONE CARED ABOUT THEM except for Watts and Ross. The matches just weren’t interesting at all and unless you REALLY like boring tag matches, this show didn’t have much for you at all. This was a horrible show and terribly boring all around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Slamboree 1998
Date: May 17, 1998
Location: The Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 11,592
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s a month after Spring Stampede and as you know already, Hogan is champion again. Therefore, he’s not on the card tonight. The main event is a tag title match with Sting/Giant vs. the Outsiders. Also we have an open challenge from Eric Bischoff to Vince McMahon, which is a very interesting story which I’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bunch of shots of main event guys with words popping up on the screen.

The announcers talk to open the show. Hart vs. Savage tonight too with Piper as guest referee. Hart cost Savage the title to Hogan apparently. Also Giant has joined the NWO (again) and wants to win the titles with Sting and have Sting join the black and white.

We now get to the real focus of the show: Eric and Vince. So Eric issued a challenge to Vince on Nitro. On Thunder, Eric read a letter from Vince, saying that it was illegal to imply Vince would be at the PPV. Now here’s where it gets good. Vince SUED Bischoff for false advertising, because it was still being implied that Vince would be there, which is how things work in wrestling. WCW settled out of court, allegedly for A LOT of money.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

Finlay is defending and has the referee take the belt off of him. He shoves Benoit so Benoit chops him HARD. Finlay goes to a top wristlock and pushes Benoit down with it but a great looking bridge keeps Benoit off the mat. Benoit tries the Crossface but Finlay reverses into an armbar. The fans are all over Finlay here. Benoit fights out of that and hooks a hiptoss for two.

They chop it out, resulting in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Chris. Fit’s Boston Crab attempt is countered but he clotheslines Benoit down and out to the floor. The champ works on the shoulder and then a rear chinlock back in the ring. Benoit escapes via an electric chair drop but Finlay is up first. Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit and they head to the floor. Benoit hits him in the back with a chair which is ok I guess. He sets for a suicide dive but Finlay holds up the chair and Benoit’s head crashes into it. I cringe a bit every time I see stuff like that now.

Back in, Finlay clotheslines him down again and it’s time for the chinlock. This one is shorter as Benoit kicks him off, shoulder first into the corner. Rolling Germans take Finlay down but he counters the third by ramming Benoit’s throat into the rope. A quick Crossface attempt is escaped but Benoit hits the snap suplex.

He loads up the Swan Dive but here’s Booker T. He doesn’t do anything but Benoit’s distraction allows Finlay to shove Benoit off the top. Back in a small package gets two for Benoit. He’s been using a lot of those quick rollups here. And never mind as Finlay hits the Tombstone out of nowhere for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and a solid opener, although cutting two or three minutes off would have made it better. Finlay is a guy that the more I see the more I like as he was a very stiff kind of wrestler which is the kind of stuff I tend to like. Benoit of course could go move for move with Finlay so that worked out fine. Good opener but it ran a bit long.

Jericho doesn’t care who he’s facing in the title match tonight. It’s decided by a battle royal later tonight.

Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger

Adams is the latest NWO lackey. I think this is somehow connected to the Steiners but I’m not sure what Heenan is talking about. Luger punches him immediately and knocks Adams to the floor. He goes after Adams’ shoulder, which is payback for Rick Steiner it seems. Lex calls for the Rack but stops to beat up Vincent, which lets Adams hit a piledriver to change the momentum. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside, Brian hits a backbreaker for two. Legdrop gets the same and then they clothesline each other. Vincent gets knocked off the apron and the Rack gets the tap out.

Rating: D. This had no business being on PPV. It should have been on Nitro or something, but I guess it filled in the six minutes that they needed. I’m still not 100% sure what happened with Steiner but I guess that’s because I haven’t watched the Nitros leading up to this. Luger’s push would eventually land him in the Wolfpack because…..well because Luger was a popular face.

Saturn says there’s no gauntlet match tonight. He’s fighting Goldberg on his own. What about Saturn? What about him?

Battle Royal

Super Calo, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, El Grio, Juventud Guerrera, Marty Jannetty, Kidman, Evan Karagis, Lenny Lane, Psychosis, Silver King, Johnny Swinger, Villano IV

There are fifteen cruiserweights in it and the winner gets Jericho for the title immediately thereafter. Jericho did some funny intros for all of them. You can be eliminated by pin or being thrown out of the ring, be it through or over the ropes. Karagis is put out first by Kidman. Everyone is doing little stuff to open things up as you would expect. Swinger is out and El Grio, a fat guy, goes up and takes a few guys down but not out.

Silver King went out somewhere in there. Lane and El Dandy have a short mini-match and Dandy backdrops Grio out. I think there are ten or eleven left in there. Someone puts Jannetty out and Damien eliminates Villano. There are eight left now. Lane poses on the ropes and gets knocked out as well. Damien tries to walk the ropes like an idiot and deserves the elimination he gets.

Chavo dropkicks Dandy out so we have Chavo, Psychosis, Kidman, Ciclope and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo to get us down to four. Psychosis misses a charge in the corner and eliminates himself. Juvy dumps Kidman and it’s down to Guerrera and Ciclope. They stare each other down for a LONG time, shake hands, and Juvy eliminates himself. More on this in a second.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The match only ran about eight minutes and the whole point was the surprise ending, and then the bigger surprise a few seconds later. There weren’t very many big spots here, but everyone got out fast enough. There’s not much to complain about or praise here so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.

Jericho gets in the ring and Ciclope immediately takes off his mask to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO. This gets an eruption from the crowd. See, the idea is that Jericho beat Malenko and Malenko left out of frustration. Jericho spent two months running his mouth about Malenko, so no one had seen Dean since March. People wanted to see him come back and beat the stuffing out of Jericho, and now Jericho had nowhere to run. It got people to care and the response is awesome.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho freaks out and Dean hammers on him, going off like he never has before in his WCW career. Jericho tries to wrestle but Dean just pounds him down time after time. Juvy is cheering at ringside. Dean throws Jericho into the barricade but Chris gets in some shots as Dean gets back in. Dean is like screw that and pounds Jericho down in the corner again. The champ finally gets a breather off a hot shot.

A senton backsplash puts Dean down but he doesn’t get covered. The crowd is all over Jericho here. Suplex gets two. Lionsault gets the same. A backbreaker looks to set up the Liontamer (the move that put Dean out) but Malenko counters into a quick ankle lock. Jericho gets to the rope and hits a jumping back elbow for two. Dean comes back AGAIN and beats Jericho’s head in. I’m liking this violent version of him. Jericho puts him on top but gets caught in the super gutbuster. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on and Jericho finally taps out, drawing one of the best pops from this era of WCW.

Rating: B. The match was just ok but the reaction is GREAT. This is what you call a well crafted story with a perfect ending in Jericho tapping out. Since this is WCW they screwed it up by giving Jericho the title back in two weeks but this worked very well. I think ti’s one of those storylines that would have been better had you went through the buildup though.

A white limo arrives as shown by, I kid you not, the Vinnie Mac cam. Tony takes shots at JR while we find out it’s not Vince.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

This is a Bowery Death Match, which means last man standing in a cage which has weapons inside. There’s a top on the cage too which makes it even better. Raven comes out with a bunch of guys in riot squad gear. Page goes fast to start and rams Raven’s head into the buckle over and over. Raven manages to send him into the cage to escape and things slow down.

Raven pours out his first bucket of weapons and picks a bullrope. Page clotheslines him down and takes the rope himself which goes around Raven’s neck. The other end of the rope goes around the top of the cage and Raven hangs him up from the cage, pulling on the rope with all of his weight. That gets an 8 so Page breaks a VCR over his head (holy stolen ECW spot Batman! It was bounced off Raven’s head in both companies).

Page goes after him again and is kicked into the trashcan, putting both guys down now. Bird Boy hits Page twice with the can for about a seven count each time. Cookie sheet shots do about the same. Raven puts on a sleeper but Page kicks away, knocking the referee down in the process. Another sleeper attempt results in a jawbreaker and the drop toehold onto the chair to Raven.

The Flock breaks through the riot squad and bring boltcutters with them. Van Hammer, recently thrown out of the Flock, pops up from under the ring and beats them up with a stop sign before any real damage can be done. A riot squad member hits Hammer and the rest of them get him out of here. Page is up and beating on Raven but the riot squad comes in anyway. It’s Kidman and Horace but there are two more somewhere else.

Page knocks Horace down and Diamond Cuts Kidman off the cage that Kidman was hanging from (looked awesome). They slug it out a bit more (that would be Raven and Page in case you’ve lost track) and Raven hits a Diamond Cutter on Page for about 8. A chair shot misses Page and the real Diamond Cutter gets the win for Page.

Rating: C. Decent brawl and I think it was the blowoff to the feud. If not it should be because there’s nothing else that Page can overcome in this feud. It wasn’t great though as it was more about the other guys than the two in the match which hurt it a good bit. Still though, entertaining enough and Page won in the end which is the right idea.

Post match another riot squad member comes in and cuffs I think Sick Boy to the cage before cuffing Raven and attacking him. He unmasks to reveal…..Mortis. Then he unmasks as Chris Kanyon who isn’t named yet. With Raven cuffed to the cage, Kanyon hits him with the chair (Chairshot heard round the world? What’s that?). Apparently Kanyon had been seen as a vendor lately at TV shows.

Back to the Vinnie cam which includes people being checked as they come in to make sure they’re not WWF guys.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

If Dragon wins, Chavo is freed from his uncle’s control. They go to the mat to start with Eddie in control. He gets a test of strength grip and drops onto Dragon’s bridge but can’t break it. That’s always cool to see. Dragon pops up and tries the kicks but Eddie ducks and hits a dropkick to take over again. Dragon hits a headscissors and monkey flip and then the kicks. The crowd is noticeably quieter than they were earlier in the night.

Eddie bails for a bit but comes back in only to get kicked even more. Off to a half crab by the masked man but Eddie escapes and hooks a chinlock. They go to the floor and Eddie wants Chavo to help with the beatdown but Chavo wants nothing to do with it. Dragon hits an enziguri to knock Eddie to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault, but it puts him down too.

Back inside Dragon hits something like Shock Treatment for two. Top rope moonsault gets two. Dragon tries his super rana but Eddie reverses into a tornado DDT but the Frog Splash misses. Dragon Sleeper goes on but Eddie gets a rope. Eddie hooks one of his own but Chavo breaks it up when Eddie cheats. Chavo argues on the apron and gets kicked down with a spin kick. Brainbuster and Frog Splash get the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I would expect more out of these two. This was more about the Eddie vs. Chavo feud and extending that out a bit more. I think this is the one that resulted in Chavo going insane but the timing seems off on that. Also I don’t remember the blowoff for it but I’d assume it was in a few weeks/months. The match was ok but would have probably been fine on Nitro.

Chavo looks at Eddie and then beats up Dragon because Dragon didn’t free him. Eddie is about to get punched but gets a kiss on the cheek instead. Ok then.

Vince has his own dressing room.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Saturn

This was supposed to be a Goldberg vs. Flock gauntlet match but they changed it the day of the show for no apparent reason. Saturn gets in some quick offense to start but Goldberg clotheslines him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam. A gorilla press drop sets up another clothesline and a superkick stops Saturn’s comeback. Saturn comes back with a legsweep and then he slaps Goldberg in the face for some reason.

A neckbreaker puts Saturn down and he pounds Perry in the corner. They go to the floor but Goldberg accidentally clotheslines the post. Back inside and Saturn hooks a sleeper which is broken with ease. A belly to belly puts but he pops up with a swinging neckbreaker and hooks a sleeper. Goldie hits a neckbreaker of his own to escape so Saturn pulls in a chair. He uses it as a springboard to dropkick Goldberg’s back but a second attempt results in a spear out of the air. Jackhammer and we’re done.

Rating: C. Way better than last month and I think it was partially because it was a minute or so shorter. That and the thicker air probably helped. Goldberg would be moved on to the world title in about two months as he should have been. Saturn would turn against the Flock soon and break them up for good.

Great American Bash ad, featuring Raven.

Here’s Eric for the Vince challenge. Eric actually has Buffer do an intro for Vince, who apparently is off saving a bus full of nuns because he’s not here. The referee counts and Bischoff officially wins. And they wonder why people eventually stopped caring about this company.

Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage

Piper is guest referee and this is payback for Bret costing Savage the title. See how easy that was? Savage is Wolfpack, Hart is black and white. Hart bails to the floor for some stalling but Piper throws him in instead. Bret keeps stalling and they lock up about a minute in. Hart goes to the eyes and pounds on Randy in the corner. Savage hits him low (I think) and chokes away while Piper shouts FIGHT over and over again.

Randy keeps choking and drops an elbow on the throat while Bret is on the mat. Bret comes back with a headbutt and legdrop followed by a suplex from the apron into the ring. Backbreaker still doesn’t get a cover. Out to the floor and Hart misses a big chair shot, getting sent into the steps as a punishment. They go into the crowd and fight around the hockey boards. At least I think they are as you can barely see their heads let alone the rest of them.

Back to ringside now as Piper gets praised for some reason. Bret goes for the knee which was injured coming in. Scott Hall has arrived at the arena now. Russian Legsweep and a piledriver get two. DDT puts Savage down but Bret talks to the fans instead of covering. A backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but he uses a traditional one instead and Savage moves. Savage snaps into a suplex for two.

Savage goes up and hits the big elbow but lands on his knee so the cover is delayed, meaning it only gets two. Bret gets up and hooks the Sharpshooter but here’s Liz for the save. She didn’t come out with Savage here either. And never mind as Savage broke the hold before she got here and put the hold on Bret. Liz comes in and shoves Piper, which distracts Savage long enough for Bret to hit him low. Bret has a foreign object and clocks Piper with it but Savage steals it away. Cue Hogan who wraps Savage’s leg around the post. Sharpshooter and we’re done.

Rating: D. The opening ten to twelve minutes were REALLY boring, then it picked up a bit, then we had two run-ins and a foreign object for the ending. The match was just boring and it really hurt things here. It was clear that neither guy cared that much at this point and can you blame them? Neither guy was going to get anywhere near the main event longer than a quick stretch at a time because Hogan and Nash were dominating things. This had moments but not enough of them.

Tag Titles: Sting/The Giant vs. Outsiders

Guess who has the titles coming in. Dusty is with the Outsiders which is supposed to mean something. So Hall and Nash are Wolfpack, Giant is Black and White and Sting is whatever. Giant wants him in the NWO but he hasn’t given an answer yet. Hall and Sting start us off with Sting walking into a chokeslam but coming back with his kind of bulldog move. A pair of Stinger Splashes sets up the Scorpion but Nash makes the save.

Giant comes in and the mixed faction team clears the ring. The biggest man comes in legally so Hall does his Frankenstein (‘s monster) deal and tags Nash. Nash gets run over so Giant does the Hogan hand to his ear. An elbow drop keeps Nash down and Giant sends him to the corner for some hip attacks. The fans chant for the Wolfpack as Sting comes in and walks into a big boot for the Outsiders to take over.

Hall’s fallaway slam gets two. Back to Nash for some Snake Eyes and then Hall gets another tag. The Outsiders work Sting over and Hall does his abdominal stretch. Nash hits the side slam and it’s bearhug time. Sting escapes for a bit and dives at Nash to make the tag. Giant comes in and takes Nash down and drops a leg for two. He goes up top (oh boy) but his splash misses. Nash sets for the powerbomb but Hall turns on him, hits him with the belt and Giant gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was another slow and boring match with a bad ending. Usually I would go into some intentionally complicated statement of what just happened and say something like “got all that?” after it but I can’t figure it out well enough to type it all up. That’s the problem with something like this: it got way too complicated way too fast and when you need a flow chart to tell what’s going on, it’s not going to last long.

Post match Hall, Giant and Rhodes all hug. Sting would join the Wolfpack soon. Giant tells Sting to come join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Of the three I’ve done, this was certainly the best but that’s not really saying much. There are parts here that are certainly good, but the WNO stuff was so overdone and so overly complicated that everyone stopped caring. They had to elevate Goldberg because they had no one to put out there as the top face of the company. The show was ok at times but man once WCW started to go downhill, it went off a cliff, through the ground, around the world and over the cliff again. This would be the start of that.

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Spring Stampede 1998
Date: April 19, 1998
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 7,428
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

So we jump ahead a little bit from Road Wild 1997 and into the era where Raw has finally taken the lead. They’ve won two weeks in a row, so obviously in WCW’s mind, it means it’s time to shake things up. Sting is champion here and is defending against Savage in the main event. Hogan is in a tag match with a bat on a pole. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the problems that the NWO has been having lately. This would result in the split of the NWO and the birth of NWO Wolfpack.

We open with breaking news: Savage’s arm is ok and won’t be in a cast. Oh and the main event is No DQ. So the NWO is in disarray and cheating is legal? I wonder where that might go.

Goldberg vs. Saturn

Goldberg is 73-0 at this point and has a US Title match the next night. It’s weird seeing Saturn with hair. Goldberg throws him around to start with some I think suplexes and beats up Kidman too. Back in Saturn kicks him in the back and trips him to the mat. A middle rope elbow gets two. A series of kicks in the corner looks to set up a suplex but Goldberg counters into one of his own.

Goldie takes over again and hits the gorilla press into the powerslam to crush Saturn. Saturn tries to get him to follow onto the floor and clotheslines him on the top rope. Superkick won’t put Goldberg down. Out to the floor they go and Saturn hits a rana on Goldberg. This is probably the most damage he’s ever taken up to this point. See, that’s how you build up monsters: slowly bring them along and then get to whatever match you want. WWE doesn’t quite get that today. Armbar is easily countered with raw power and a superkick puts Saturn down.

It’s clear Goldberg is almost spent at this point and we’re maybe six minutes in. Spear looks to set up the Jackhammer but Saturn hits him low. Sometimes it’s the easiest things that are the solutions. Saturn tries a superplex but Goldberg gorilla presses him off the middle rope. After destroying the Flock, Saturn hooks the Rings of Saturn. Like that’s going to work. He gets to his feet, throws Saturn into a fireman’s carry and then up onto his shoulders for what’s called a Jackhammer but is more like a powerslam. Either way it makes him 74-0.

Rating: D+. Not bad here and it went on too long for a Goldberg match. He would do the Flock match MUCH better the next night and it became much more entertaining. This was more or less the last match he would have that didn’t have a title on the line until the end of the year other than a stupid battle royal. This would have been better had he not been blown up halfway through.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon

This should be good. Eddie is with Chavo and gets the majority of the heat from the crowd. Chavo wraps him up on the mat to start and sends Dragon into the corner, resulting in the handstand. Dragon takes over and throws on a stump puller which is countered into the bridging Indian Deathlock. That gets boring so Chavo comes back with a bunch of dropkicks and a chinlock. So much for the exciting part.

Elbow drop gets two and it’s back to the chinlock by Chavo. Oh wait now it’s a headscissors. Dragon reverses into a camel clutch and then a surfboard. At least they’re not staying in one hold for a long time. Chavo catches the handspring elbow and they fight over a German Suplex. That results in an O’Connor Roll and La Majistral by Dragon but Chavo comes back and rolls him up for two. Cool sequence.

More rollups both get two counts and Chavo goes up. Dragon crotches him with a kick and looks for the super rana but Chavo elbows his way out of it. Dragon suplexes him to the floor from the apron and hits the Asai Moonsault. Eddie yells at Chavo and threatens him if he loses. I think Eddie is like a coach or something here. Chavo goes back in and hits a huge flip dive (called a suicide dive) and might have hurt Dragon’s shoulder in the process. Back in the ring and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

Chavo hits what might have been a low blow by mistake off a leapfrog but Chavo won’t go for the kill like that. Eddie FREAKS on him, slapping Chavo in the face. Chavo loads up a brainbuster but Dragon escapes with a rollup. A second attempt works but the tornado DDT is countered into the Dragon Sleeper for the tap out.

Rating: B-. This started slow but it got going pretty well. Dragon was a guy that got pushed better than most did and it was cool to see someone outside of the main stars get pushed like he did. Eddie and Chavo would feud for a little while longer, resulting in Chavo going insane. Good match here and it probably would have been a better choice for an opener.

Eddie rips into Chavo post match.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging and there is no time limit due to some draws they’ve had. Feeling out process to start until Benoit gets sent to the floor. I think they’re both faces here. Back in and Benoit goes for the knee as is his custom. Booker kicks him back to the floor before it can do enough damage though. That’s a good enough counter I guess. Booker clotheslines him to the mat and hooks an armbar.

Benoit is like screw that and comes up swinging, pounding Booker into the corner and adding some stomps for good effect. Back to another armbar by Booker but it’s the same result, as Benoit comes back with a chop. A belly to back suplex gets two. Benoit dropkicks him down and hits the Swan Dive for a very delayed two. Snap suplex by the Canadian is countered into one by Booker but he can’t follow up.

Back elbow gets two for Benoit. The real snap suplex gets two. Something I forgot I that this is in Denver, so the altitude is going to become an issue with the breathing. Benoit hits rolling Germans followed by a wicked belly to back superplex which gets a very close two. The champ hits a sidewalk slam out of nowhere but he can’t follow up. Forearm puts Benoit down and a flapjack sets up the Spinarooni. Ax kick hits the referee by mistake and there’s the Crossface, but there’s no referee for the tap out. Benoit goes to get the referee and gets caught by the side kick for the pin and Booker retains.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here with Benoit doing a lot of high impact stuff as you would expect. Again here the booking is for TV instead of PPV, as Benoit would get the title less than two weeks later on Thunder. These two would go on to have a best of seven series which was totally awesome. There was always good chemistry between them.

Replay shows that Benoit pulled the referee into the ax kick.

Curt Hennig vs. British Bulldog

Rude and Jim Neidhart are the seconds here and will be handcuffed together. A cop does the handcuffing. I would say note that for later, but since it’s Curt Hennig vs. British Bulldog, it’s really not worth doing. They stall FOREVER before the cuffs finally go on. Why these two are fighting isn’t worth explaining apparently.

Bulldog jumps Hennig as we look at the handcuffs being fastened. Smith works on the big leg brace and they head to the floor. Rude goes after Bulldog but Neidhart won’t allow it. Hennig gets a shot to the head back inside as this is going nowhere. Smith works on the leg some more and Neidhart still won’t let Rude in. Despite the big knee brace on his knee, Curt tries to knee Smith in the face. Now it’s Sharpshooter time but the cop goes after Neidhart. He slips Rude the keys and Neidhart is cuffed to the post. Rude breaks up the powerslam and Hennig posts Smith for the pin.

Rating: F. Read the description and I think you’ll get why this is an F. There was nothing to this at all and the ending was stupid. I have no idea why they were fighting or why Neidhart was there, but from what I can tell it was a Hart Family thing, even though Bret was legally prohibited from associating with Neidhart and Bulldog (seriously).

The cop was Vincent and it’s a three on one beatdown on Bulldog.

Cruiserweight Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Chris Jericho

Prince is challenging and he doesn’t even have music. I don’t think Jericho does either. Maybe it’s my audio but for some reason neither guy had music. Jericho dedicates this to Malenko who is injured. The Man of 1004 Holds is mentioned. He has music after his promo so I guess it was a tech issue. Prince takes him to the mat with a headlock which Jericho escapes, but he poses too much and Prince takes him down again.

Chris gets knocked to the floor and back in it’s time for headlock #3. Jericho hooks a drop toehold to put him into 619 position and adds a suplex for two. Off to a chinlock as this is a pretty boring match so far. Jericho goes up and jumps into the feet of the Prince and Iaukea starts what I guess you would call a comeback with a Samoan Drop. Springboard splash gets two.

Victory Roll is countered into the Walls but Prince is right in front of the ropes. Jericho tries a middle rope sunset flip but Iaukea falls on him for two. They go up top and crash down onto the floor in a scary fall. Both guys crawl back in and slug it out a bit and Prince counters another Liontamer attempt into a rollup for two. Northern lights suplex gets two for Iaukea. Iaukea tries a top rope sunset flip but Jericho counters into the Liontamer to retain.

Rating: C. It got better but dang it was boring when it started. Iaukea was a guy for the life of me I don’t get why they kept pushing. The match wasn’t bad but Jericho was carrying it. Not from a wrestling perspective because Iaukea was ok, but why would I care about him? All there is to him is that he’s from the islands. That’s not a reason for me to care and I don’t.

Here are Bagwell and Steiner for the next tag match but Bagwell has a cast on his hand. The announcers don’t buy that it’s real, so I’m going with Bagwell having every bone broken into 99 places. They say they’re ready but the match has to be canceled. Dillon and Gene come out and Dillon says that Bagwell is right: Buff does need a doctor’s release. SO THEY BRING A DOCTOR OUT TO EXAMINE HIM HERE. YOU KNOW, ON A PAY PER VIEW! Dillon says something about Bagwell so Buff grabs him with the bad hand to prove it’s ok. Match on.

Buff Bagwell/Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Lex Luger

Rick charges down the aisle to get at Scott but Bagwell jumps him. Rick powerslams him down but Scott comes in for the save from behind. Scott comes in legally because Rick is down already. Buff and Scott trade off another two times so it’s Buff vs. Rick at the moment. Off to a chinlock by Bagwell and then one by Steiner. Rick fights up and clotheslines Bagwell and makes the hot tag. Scott breaks up the Rack but Rick runs him off. Rack gets the submission.

Rating: D. Another bad match here. The whole point of this was to tease the Steiners clashing some more and it didn’t happen…..again. I think it would finally happen at some point but of course WCW waited until it didn’t mean anything anymore. Nothing match and it was all about building to something later on.

Gene says call the Hotline.

La Parka vs. Psychosis

This is a bonus match. Feeling out process to start which is stupid for a reason I’ll get into in a minute. Psychosis climbs the ropes and jumps backwards into a rana to send La Parka to the floor. A dive on the outside takes La Parka down but he gets in a kick back inside. A headscissors sends Psychosis to the floor and a dive puts him down on said floor. Psychosis throws him face first into the buckle and crotches him on the top. After a nearly horrible botch, Psychosis hits a rana to send La Parka down for two.

Out to the floor again and Psychosis hits a big flip dive from the top. Top rope splash misses and Parka gets a quick cover for two and then he breaks the count himself. La Parka puts him down again and pulls him up again. He misses a charge and gets caught by the guillotine legdrop for the pin by Psychosis.

Rating: D+. This is what I was going to get into earlier. There’s no reason for us to care about this match, so all they can do is big spots and dives. They did some, but none of them were anything we haven’t seen a million times before by more exciting people. That’s the problem with bonus matches: there’s no story, which is what wrestling is based on. If there’s no story to a wrestling show, a match has to be AWESOME to overcome that lack of a story. This wasn’t and the match didn’t work as a result.

The announcers talk about Sting/Nash/Savage and use a dog metaphor which makes no sense.

Hulk Hogan/Kevin Nash vs. The Giant/Roddy Piper

Bat on a pole match. Nash and Hogan are having issues so they have separate entrances. Piper goes for the bat while Hogan and Nash are talking but Hogan makes the save. Roddy gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Hogan stomps away. I guess they’re starting because Hogan tags out to Nash almost immediately. Nash isn’t in there long so it’s back to Hogan, who rakes the back and wakes Piper up.

Giant and Piper both headbutt Hogan but it knocks Piper down. I guess he needed a nap? Hogan beats him with the weightlifting belt and goes up, but Giant makes the save….and spanks him. Nash finally makes the save as I don’t like where this match is going. It’s time for the battle of the giants and the namesake shoves Nash around but misses a charges into the corner.

Nash fires off some knees in the corner and does the boot choke. Both guys try big boots at the same time and both go down ala Kane/Undertaker (I think this one happened first actually). Double tag brings in Piper and Hogan and the Canadiscotsman pounds away on the head and in the corner, and on the head in the corner. Everything breaks down and Giant dropkicks Nash to the floor.

Piper puts Hogan in the sleeper then climbs the post with Giant shoving him up higher. Piper pulls it down but Hogan takes it away. Here’s Disciple with a new bat (are you really wondering why?) which Hogan hits Giant with. Piper avoids a shot that goes into Nash and takes the bat from Hogan again. Disciple takes it from Piper and throws Hogan the other bat which goes upside Piper’s back and it’s over.

Rating: D. The match was boring, and what was up with switching the bat? The problem here was that the match was boring until the very end, which wasn’t particularly good either. This was all about Hogan vs. Nash and Piper/Giant were just kind of there for the ride. The spanking spot was pretty stupid too. This led to the Wolfpack being formed soon.

Post match Hogan tells Nash to powerbomb Giant but as he sets for it, Hogan hits Nash with the bat.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Page is defending, it’s Raven’s Rules, and the winner gets Goldberg tomorrow. Sick Boy runs in before the bell and grabs Page but DDP ducks a belt shot to put the diseased one down. A belly to back suplex and a forearm put Raven onto the floor. Page dives onto Raven and Sick Boy and they head back in. Raven tries the DDT but Page drives him into the corner to escape.

The Cutter is escaped as well and we head up the aisle. They walk up to the always cool set and Raven gets thrown off a stagecoach into a pile of hay. Raven gets thrown into a fence, some wagon wheels, and then through the website. He comes back and splashes Page onto a table. Gee that’s kind of boring by comparison. There’s a garbage can to the back and Page gets tied by a rope around the neck and brought back to the ring.

Sick Boy has a kitchen sink for some reason (Tony: “If you’re in the Flock you have to.”) which Raven hits Page with before adding some choking. Page escapes and drop toeholds Raven into it, using what Tony calls the Draino. Kidman comes in and misses a splash, hitting Raven with it. Page knocks Kidman to the floor but gets caught in the back which gets two for Bird Boy. Small package gets two for Page.

Here’s Van Hammer for another run-in. Scratch that as his name is now just Hammer. I wouldn’t want to get my giant jobbers names’ wrong. Either way he kicks Sick Boy by mistake and is sent to the floor, but Raven hits Page low. Here’s Reese (7’2) with a chokebomb on Page, getting two for Raven. Lodi throws in a stop sign but Page clocks Raven and Hammer with it. Sick Boy takes a shot with it too and Kidman gets a Diamond Cutter. Horace Hogan debuts as the newest member of the Flock and blasts Page with it, allowing Raven to DDT Page onto the sink for the title.

Rating: C. The match was fun but it could have done with about three less Flock members. I’d have liked to see this be one on one because Raven could work well enough out there, especially in a brawl, to make something like this work. Raven would of course lose the title the next night to Goldberg. Also, Heenan says this was 20-30 minutes long. It’s more like 12, but knowing Heenan he’s bombed.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Randy Savage

Savage is challenging and it’s No DQ. Savage is very banged up with a bunch of injuries. He jumps Sting before the bell and we’re ready to go. Savage fires right hands but that’s one of his injuries so he has to stop after every punch. Sting rams it into the railing so they walk up the aisle and Savage is thrown through a wagon wheel. He goes into a fence and Sting hits him with a bale of hay.

Back towards (not into) the ring but Sting AGAIN misses his splash onto the barricade. Has that ever hit? Even once? Back into the ring and Sting reverses a piledriver. They go to the floor again and Sting hits a suplex followed by a kick to the ribs. Back inside and Savage hits a low blow and clotheslines Sting on the rope for two. Liz slides in a chair to put Sting onto, but here’s Hogan to break up the elbow. Liz got knocked down somewhere in there and gets attended to. Sting gets up and hits the Death Drop but there’s no referee. Cue Nash to powerbomb Sting and give Savage the title.

Rating: D. Another bad match to end a show of them. This was a mess but not a big one as it only got ten minutes in total. That’s something I’ll address in a bit too as it makes little sense. The problems here were Hogan and Nash. This became all about them as Nash had no reason to screw Sting over other than to make Hogan mad. That’s not good at all.

Overall Rating: D. It was bad, but there are some far worse shows. The main event wound up meaning nothing as Hogan got the title back the very next night. You know, because CLEARLY the solution to their ratings problems was a lack of Hogan. That’s only partially sarcastic because their ratings run had come with him on top. Now when they put the title back on him and it didn’t help…..well they took it off him and put it on Goldberg about two and a half months later so I actually can’t complain too much here. Anyway the show was bad but not totally bad, with some decent matches in there to help save it.

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Road Wild 1997
Date: August 9, 1997
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

Back to the motorcycle place and to the shock of everyone, Hogan ISN’T champion! He lost the title to Luger on Monday just before this match. That’s always been surprising because you would think they would just have Sting break the year and a half reign. Instead they went with this which is questionable but it was a bit of a breather at least. There isn’t much else to talk about here so let’s get to it.

Harlem Heat vs. Vicious and Delicious

That’s Norton and Bagwell. Buff and Booker get us going here. Booker hooks the arm but Bagwell dropkicks him into the corner and it’s off to Norton. Ray comes in for a power vs. power brawl and Norton gets slammed. Back to Booker for a suplex which gets two but a spin kick is countered into a kind of powerbomb. Buff cleans house for some reason but Booker knocks him to the outside.

Booker hooks a chinlock which is a heel move but since they’re against the NWO, wouldn’t that make them faces? Bagwell fights up and hits a clothesline to set up the tag to Norton. Stevie breaks up the tag as I can’t get over the heel/face dynamic being so backwards here. Cue Jackie to really make this match great. Harlem Heat had been promising a surprise before this and I guess it’s her.

Bagwell comes back from the beating with a powerbomb of all things and it’s off to Norton off a hot (?) tag. Vincent’s interference fails so Ray beats him up. Norton hits Booker with the shoulderbreaker but Jackie interferes enough to let Booker side kick Norton down for the pin. What an odd match.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the idea here was but it really didn’t work all that well. First of all, the heel/face dynamic was completely backwards here, as the NWO team wrestled as faces. Harlem Heat wrestled as heels and had Bagwell in trouble most of the time, plus Norton got a hot tag and the Heat had a manager interfere. Oh and Jackie sucks but you already know that. I don’t know what was going on here but it didn’t work.

DiBiase talks about how awesome his team of Steiners are.

Konnan vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is a Mexican Death Match, which I think means knockout or submission only. Konnan is NWO also. Apparently it’s a Mexican Grudge Death Match and it’s No DQ. That’s the only rule apparently. Rey has a bad leg coming in. He speeds things up to start and hits a springboard missile dropkick to take over. That’s quite a leg injury. Konnan drops him on the buckle and hits a clothesline to the back of Rey’s head to take him down.

Konnan hooks a leg lock and Rey screams a lot. Mysterio gets sent to the floor and tries to jump over Konnan to come back in, but he hurts his knee again. A chopblock puts Rey down again and it’s time to crank on the leg. The leg work continues for awhile as there’s not much to say. Konnan puts on leg hold #19 and goes after Rey’s mask. A powerbomb puts Rey down so he can get a better attempt at it.

Konnan gets the mask off but can’t get it completely off, so Rey gets in a weak shot to the ribs and puts the mask back on. Rey’s offense is pretty bad due to the injured leg and his double springboard moonsault misses badly. Konnan kicks the knee out again and this needs to end soon. There’s a modified Stump Puller (he puts Rey’s legs in figure four position but sits Rey up and sits on the neck, pulling back on Mysterio’s legs) but it keeps going as Konnan gets bored. Mysterio comes back with a quick rollup for two. Rey goes up but gets caught in a cradle DDT and the Tequila Sunrise for the tap.

Rating: D+. So why was this no DQ again? It was never mentioned or used at all. The leg work was ok enough and the match wasn’t all that bad, but for a DEATH match, there wasn’t anything deadly about it at all. If this were a regular match it would have been ok enough, but don’t add the gimmick names if there’s nothing special about them.

Mean Gene has gotten a tattoo. My goodness.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

This is an elimination tag for no apparent reason. The Horsemen feud is STILL going on and mainly is between Jarrett and McMichael, neither of whom got over because of it. Jarrett and Benoit start and Jarrett wants little to do with that so it’s time for Dean. Benoit runs him over and Dean slows things down. That doesn’t last long as Benoit starts running again, but misses an enziguri. Dean misses an elbow and it’s a standoff.

They fight over a victory roll and Dean gets two off a small package. Benoit tags in Mongo who charges into a drop toehold. Dean hits the ropes but gets kicked in the back for the Horsemen to take over. They keep alternating on him for a few minutes with Mongo using a variety of side slams, which are some of the only moves he was decent at. Jarrett runs from Mongo as Mongo tries a tackle at Dean. Malenko jumps over him and makes the tag to Jarrett, who is terrified.

Jeff, the US Champion, comes in and pulls Mongo on top of himself and intentionally gets pinned. THE US CHAMPION PEOPLE! So now it’s a handicap match so Dean goes crazy to start, grabbing some fast rollups. Benoit reverses a tombstone and hits the Swan Dive but it’s back to Mongo for more beating. Tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: C-. Everything without Jarrett in there was fine. When Mongo is better than you in a match, you need to get out. Thankfully Jarrett would jump to the WWF in about two months. This country music entrance that he had and all the stuff with Miss Debra didn’t work AT ALL, so they pushed it for the better part of a year. It just dragged everything down and no one ever cared. Jeff didn’t get interesting until he became a jerk with short hair in 1998. Then he was bearable.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Wright is champion. Feeling out process to start with Wright running to the ropes. The fans chant gay slurs at him as the feeling out continues. Jericho charges at Wright which gets him nowhere. Some chops and right hands put Wright down on the floor and we stall some more. Back in Wright grabs a headlock which is quickly broken and Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to send Wright back to the floor.

As Alex comes back in, Jericho crotches him and hits the springboard dropkick to send him to the floor for a third time. Jericho finally gets bored and dives out to the floor to take Wright down. Wright sends him into the steps to take over and adds a suplex on the outside. Coming back in, Jericho LAUNCHES him off the top with a slam which gets two. Off to a headlock by the challenger. He goes to the arm instead as things slow down.

Wright comes back and counters a leapfrog with another spinwheel kick. The champ dances again as Dusty says a win here could drive a stake into the heart of the NWO. Ok then. Alex takes forever to set up a moonsault and Jericho rolls away. Lionsault hits Wright’s back but he adds a senton backsplash before getting two. Jericho’s double powerbomb gets a delayed two. Wright grabs a suplex for two and Jericho counters the German suplex into a cradle for the same. Wright reverses a rollup into one of his own with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was slow paced for the most part but it was ok. The ending however sucked and it keeps up with the running theme of the night: not a horrible match but it’s nothing that you would ever want to see again. It’s also not great but it could have been far worse. That makes it the worst kind of match: just ok and mostly boring.

Syxx vs. Ric Flair

After a lot of stalling and taunting, we get an armdrag and it’s time for more stalling. Syxx controls a bit but misses a charge to send himself to the floor. Flair slows it down and Syxx does some of his usual stuff. Flair chops him down but Syxx comes back with a spin kick to the back of the head to take him down. Bronco Buster hits and it’s off to a chinlock. This is a really boring match so far.

Guillotine legdrop gets two. Back to the chinlock as this match needs to end already. We go to a wide shot of the crowd because the director is getting bored of the match too. Flair starts his comeback with his strikes but Syxx hits an enziguri to take him down. A flip dive misses and it’s time to go for the knee. Figure Four goes on but Syxx is in the ropes. Buzzkiller (Crossface chickenwing) is broken up so here’s another Bronco Buster. Flair puts his foot into Syxx’s crotch, rolls him up and uses the feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This went nowhere at all and was full of rest holds that didn’t do anything to excite the crowd. Syxx was so boring around this time as he knew he didn’t have to do anything because he was friends with the big shots. Also great to see Flair wasted on a midcard match instead of putting over some young guy. Very boring match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

This is a grudge match for some reason. We get a very quick brawl on the floor before they head back in for the bell. It’s a slugout to begin and Page spins Hennig around BY HIS HAIR. Hennig gets to do his slide into the post balls first spot. Page goes up but Curt falls onto the ropes to crotch him. There’s the necksnap and Hennig puts on a spinning toehold.

A quick sleeper is broken up by Page and he hooks a spinning sunset flip for two. Hennig clotheslines him down for two. A kickout lands on the referee so Hennig takes off the buckle pad. Page gets rammed into it but there’s no cover. Perfectplex gets two. Page starts his comeback and loads up the Pancake, but Hennig’s foot hits the referee. Cue Flair who comes off the top but walks into the Diamond Cutter. Another Perfectplex gets the pin. Page can kick his feet but can’t lift a free shoulder?

Rating: C. This was just ok and it’s pretty easily the best match of the night. Page and Hennig had good chemistry but there wasn’t much to do here. Flair coming in didn’t help anything at all but he was recruiting Hennig into the Horsemen which eventually resulted in what else? Hennig joining the NWO. Not a bad match but this show is pretty much beyond saving at this point.

Call the Hotline!

Promo from the NWO. It’s one of their pretaped deals.

According to Tony, the next three matches are the biggest in WCW history.

The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Nothing special to the match, but it’s the third biggest match in company history at worst. That would include being ahead of Luger winning the title on Monday I guess. Savage is NWO and Giant is one of WCW’s main soldiers against him. Savage stalls like the true Memphis man that he is. He gets in and tries to slam Giant which fails of course. Giant works him over with his usual power stuff until Savage heads to the floor.

That goes badly for him as well with Giant picking up the human shield known as Liz and moving her to the other side. Back in Savage takes out the knee and gets Giant down. He wraps the knee around the post and stomps on the knee some more. Double ax gets two but the second attempt is countered into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash but that’s ok for the most part. Giant would move on to feuding with Nash soon after this in one of the stupidest and most pathetic displays I can remember in a long time. Anyway, the match was short enough to keep from getting boring which is more than I can say for the rest of the show.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

So here it is. After seven months of screwjobs, cheating finishes, no matches and everything else, the Outsiders have to face the Steiners for the titles. There is no reason for anything but new champions (the Outsiders are defending) here, so you should know what’s coming already. The Steiners come out on motorcycles, so let’s look at the fireworks instead! Scott and Scott get us going. For the sake of sanity during this match, Scott Hall will only be called Hall and Scott Steiner will only be called Scott.

Hall punches him down but Scott comes back with a butterfly suplex and everything breaks down. The Steiners clear the ring and they do their pose. Off to Rick vs. Nash with the giant trying Snake Eyes, only to get reversed into a suplex to put him down. Off to Scott but Hall’s distraction allows Nash to kick his head off and take over. Nash does the running crotch attack to the ropes and Scott is in trouble.

Off to Hall who hits his fallaway slam for two. Abdominal stretch goes on and the Outsiders cheat of course. Hall knocks Scott off the apron and it’s more dominance by the champions. Back to Nash for some chinlockery. Now for a change of pace, Hall comes in to give us the exact same thing. Scott picks Hall up and drops him down with an electric chair. Nash breaks up the tag again and Scott’s beating continues.

Big boot gets two. Nash does the leg choke in the corner but another big boot (this one with the left leg for some reason) misses. Scott can’t make the tag as Hall comes in with an elbow to the back. Outsider Edge is escaped and Scott hits a belly to belly to put both guys down. Hot tag to Rick and house is cleaned. Here comes the Steiner Bulldog to Hall and Nash pulls the referee out for the DQ. Yes, that’s the real ending.

Rating: D. Screw it. Seriously SCREW THIS COMPANY. There is ZERO reason at all to do this other than for the sake of screwing over the fans and the Steiners and keeping the belts on the Outsiders because they want them. The Steiners would win the titles in a few months (on Nitro of course) and no one cared because THEY SHOULD HAVE WON HERE. There is no reason for the titles to not change here that isn’t a service job for the NWO. Just freaking stupid and a big part of why the company was starting to reach trouble.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s strange seeing the title on Luger for the first time. He never wore that belt back in the day despite chasing Flair for it for about four years. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading power moves. Luger runs him over so Hogan grabs the arm. Now Luger grabs Hogan’s arm. A few arm drags send Hogan to the floor and we take a breather on the floor. Back in the ring Hogan sends him into the corner and takes some control.

A slam and elbow drop get two. Off to a chinlock about six minutes into this. That’s a bit early no? Luger blocks a ram into the buckles and gives Hogan ten for his effort. Out to the floor and Hogan chokes away with a cord. We head back in and Hogan chokes in there instead. Off to a bearhug which evolves into the test of strength, which ends with a low blow to Lex.

Hogan is basically out of offense now so he just smacks Luger around with really basic slaps to various parts of the head. Big boot gets two. Luger no sells a suplex and makes his comeback but Luger takes him right back down. The legdrop misses and Lex fires off his clotheslines. Cue the NWO and despite three of them getting in the ring and a fourth getting on the apron, that isn’t a DQ. Cue Sting (the announcers are sure that it’s the real one, even though he’s black) who hits Luger with the bat and the legdrop gives Hogan the title back.

Rating: F+. Whatever here man. It’s a bad ending to a bad show. Hogan clearly had no business being out there for 16 minutes because he didn’t have anything to use after the end of his five move offense. The title change on Monday meant nothing and the ending here is stupid due to the announcers not noticing the incredible tan that Sting has gotten I guess.

It’s Dennis Rodman of course. The last eight minutes or so are the announcers freaking out and Hogan celebrating. Oh and they spraypaint the belt in the back and initiate Rodman into the NWO.

Overall Rating: F. You know until the end of this, I would have been ok with just saying that this was boring but not all that bad. Then they had the two IDIOT endings like they did which was more of the same. It was clear by this point that the NWO was about to cripple the company. Based on this it’s no surprise that the WWF would be starting to draw closer.

It wouldn’t happen for about 8 months, but once the WWF took over again, they wouldn’t let go (mostly) because WCW was that stupid. This is a great example of it, although the tag match is much worse than the main event from a booking perspective. The main event’s booking makes sense due to Sting in December, but the wrestling was just awful. Terrible show.

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