Starrcade 1992 (2013 Redo): My Favorite Match

Starrcade 1992
Date: December 28, 1992
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Jim Ross

As mentioned, this is a fairly packed show. In addition to the world title matches, we also have the Unified World Tag Team Titles on the line. I mentioned the NWA tag title tournament earlier on. For some reason, the NWA and WCW agreed to share tag team champions, meaning that the champions are carrying around four total belts. I’m still not sure why that was the case but 1992 WCW rarely made a ton of sense. Let’s get to it.

We open with an announcement that changes the entire show: Rick Rude is injured and has not only been stripped of the US Title, but also is out of the world title match tonight. Dr. Death Steve Williams, also known as Bill Watts’ idol, will be replacing him in the world title match.

Bill Watts presents Sting with a ring for winning BattleBowl last year. Not much else to say here. Oh and baseball legend Hank Aaron is in the ring for the presentation because Turner Sports thought that wrestling fans wanted to see actual businessmen in wrestling rings.

Larry Zbyszko and Missy Hyatt are doing the drawings for the matches, but the first match was announced on the Clash of the Champions special.

All tag matches are part of Lethal Lottery unless otherwise noted.

Van Hammer/Dan Spivey vs. Johnny B. Badd/Cactus Jack

Spivey is a tall blonde haired guy who isn’t great in the ring. Cactus and Van Hammer had feuded a bit back in 1991 so they get things going. As to be expected with a nutjob like Jack, he pounds away while screaming a lot. Van Hammer comes back with a clothesline and takes over using a variety of forearms and right hands. A legdrop connects but it’s quickly off to Badd. Johnny makes up for the purple trunks with a SWEET hurricanrana to slam Van Hammer’s head down into the mat. Back to Cactus for a hiptoss for no cover.

Off to Spivey who uses his powers of lumbering around the ring to take over. After some right hands and a clothesline to Jack it’s back to Van Hammer again. He gets to fight Badd, and of course by that I mean chase him around while Spivey cheats from the apron. Dan tags himself in and throws on a bearhug before it’s back to Van Hammer for a slam.

A belly to back suples gets two and it’s back to the cheater. Badd staggers Spivey with a dropkick and tags Jack in again as things pick up. Cactus screams a lot and pounds away, only to be caught by a flying shoulder for two. Badd misses an elbow drop as he tries to save, triggering a brawl with Cactus. Since Badd is a Golden Gloves champion, he knocks Badd into a rollup from Hammer for the win.

Rating: D+. This was pretty lame stuff as Spivey and Van Hammer are both big guys who aren’t all that great in the ring. Cactus was clearly something special and why he was put down in exchange for Van Hammer and Spivey is beyond me. Jack would have his day soon though as he would feud with Vader for most of 1993.

Barbarian/Kensuke Sasaki vs. Dustin Rhodes/Vader

Sasaki is a strong Japanese guy and Barbarian is a brawling Tongan wrestler who you might remember from the mid-80s shows. Why he kept jobs for so long I’m not sure, but he was regularly employed by national companies for nearly fifteen years running. Vader and Barbarian get things going, and as expected neither guy seems all that interested in selling any offense. Both guys connect with things like slams and clotheslines but neither guy stays down or even staggers for more than a few seconds.

After a few minutes of that it’s off to Rhodes, who plays the Bret Hart to Vader’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack on Barbarian. Dustin and Barbarian trade suplexes and it’s off to Sasaki for the first time. They slug it out with Sasaki taking over, only to go to the middle rope and jump into a dropkick. Back to Vader to have his way with Sasaki as the beating begins.

Vader pounds Sasaki about the head and shoulders with some shots that are far harder than they need to be. A standing splash off the middle rope has Sasaki back down, but he actually pulls off a pair of suplexes on Vader. With both guys a bit tired they both tag out and everything breaks down. Sasaki and Barbarian are thrown into each other, allowing Dustin to roll up Barbarian for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for the most part, but it was certainly entertaining at times. That standing splash to Sasaki looked awesome and some of the stuff at the beginning was ok, but for the most part this was just mindless stuff with people pounding on each other. To be fair though, Vader has a bigger match later in the night and needed to keep this short.

Barry Windham/Great Muta vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Brian Pillman

Scorpio is a high flier who brought several moves to mainstream wrestling which would become norms for wrestlers much smaller than him in future years. This should be very interesting as all four guys are very talented. Windham and Pillman are semi-regular tag partners and will be challenging for the tag titles later in the evening. Despite never being around, the fans LOVE Muta and go nuts for him as Windham starts with Scorpio.

They fight over arm control as Scorpio tries to spin out of Windham’s grip. Scorpio gets on his own hammerlock but the far bigger Barry charges into the corner for the hot tag off to Muta. The fans go even crazier for Muta as they fight over a waistlock with Scorpio doing the same thing Barry did, giving us Pillman vs. Muta in a semi-dream match. They trade dropkicks until Pillman headlocks Muta down for two. Back to Windham to face his regular partner and they chop it out before it’s right back to Muta.

Pillman counters a quick backdrop attempt into a faceplant for no cover. The former football player Pillman hits a shoulder block, only to be caught by a spinwheel kick by Muta. Pillman sends him face first into the buckle before it’s back to Scorpio for a clothesline, but Muta gets his knees up to block a splash. Windham comes back in and gets two off a legdrop and a suplex for the same. Muta comes right back in for some dropkicks and the power drive elbow for two. A hard kick sends Scorpio onto the ramp as everything breaks down. In the melee, Barry hits his lifting DDT on Scorpio to set up Muta’s moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches which could have been great if they had 20 minutes instead of seven. Muta was still incredibly popular because of how crisp he was in the ring and Pillman was one of the few people in the world who could go move for move with him. Good stuff here and I can’t imagine the other tag matches topping this given the names left.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Jushin Thunder Liger/Erik Watts

Erik is of course Bill’s son and has no place on a show of this magnitude whatsoever. Liger and Sting start which is probably the best choice for all involved. They collide in the center of the ring with no one moving off stereo shoulders. Sting cranks on Liger’s arm and brings in Doc (Williams) who misses a charge into the corner to allow the tag to the dead meat. I mean Watts. Watts hits a quick armdrag so Williams promptly knocks his head off with a right hand. Erik fights back with a cross body but gets chopped into the corner for the tag off to Liger.

Jushin fires off all his high flying stuff with dropkicks and clotheslines but it’s like trying to knock down a small building. A HARD clothesline puts Liger down and it’s back to Sting. Liger counters a backdrop into a quick sunset flip for two and it’s back to Doc for a hot shot onto the top rope. Sting comes back in but after hitting a clothesline, his splash only hits the mat.

Williams comes back in and Liger has to face him because he knows Watts can’t do anything against either opponent. Doc chokes him on the top rope and works on the arm a bit but Liger tries a quick sleeper of all things. Williams counters with a vicious belly to back suplex and brings in Sting for a suplex of his own. Liger finally manages a faceplant on Williams to buy himself some time….but he has to tag in Watts.

Erik comes in and is booed out of the building, which should tell you about all you need to know about him. Watts looks confused so he sends Doc into the ropes, giving us the only spot that Watts is remembered for. As Doc is coming towards him, Erik jumps straight into the air and kind of pushes his feet forward. It’s called a dropkick but looks more like he was landing in the sand on a long jump in a track meet. Thankfully Doc just stumbles a bit and doesn’t go down. Watts trips him up and tries his STF but is pulled to the outside. Back in and Doc catches a charging Erik in a Stun Gun for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. At some point you have to feel sorry for Watts. The guy flat out did not have the skills to be in a spot like this and it likely wasn’t his idea to go out there. The dropkick is horrendous and proof that he needed time in a training ring instead of a regular one, but again it’s not his fault that he’s out there in a national promotion.

To recap, we have Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Dustin Rhodes, Vader, Great Muta, Barry Windham, Sting and Jushin Thunder Liger in BattleBowl.

We get a preview of Chono vs. Muta from….Larry Zbyszko? That is one of the oddest choices they could have picked and it’s more bizarre than informative.

NWA World Title: Great Muta vs. Masahiro Chono

Chono is defending and they have the big gold belt back now. The champion pounds away to start and kicks Muta in the side of the head for good measure. They head to the mat with Chono taking over via a headscissors followed by an enziguri to send Chono to the floor. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock before Muta bails to the floor again. They go to a test of strength and take it to the mat where Muta grabs a full nelson which transitions into an abdominal stretch.

Now Chono counters into an abdominal stretch of his own. The fans are now starting to boo so Muta reverses into an armbar on the mat. Chono shifts into one of his own as Jim Ross tries to defend this boring match by calling it methodical. Now Muta takes over with a figure four headscissors. Back up and Chono throws him to the floor as this just keeps going.

Back in and Chono puts on an armbar, which is probably the worst thing that could happen here. Muta tries to flip out but the champion doesn’t let go of the hold. Chono goes up to but gets caught in a superplex to finally wake up the crowd a bit. Off to a half crab by the challenger (Jesse: “Looks like a Hiroshima crab.”) before he switches over to an Indian Deathlock with a bridge into a chinlock.

Muta finally lets go and gets caught in a suplex, only to have Muta kicks him out to the floor. How this has been going on for over ten minutes is beyond me. The handspring elbow crushes Chono into the corner so he goes up top for the moonsault, only to have to land on his feet and hurt his knee coming down. They both try dropkicks and crash to the mat to keep this very boring. Back up and Muta counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two and a nice reaction for the kickout. Muta misses a dropkick though, allowing Chono to put on his STF for the win.

Rating: F. This was absolutely horrible. They were clearly in a very slow motion the entire time and never got going whatsoever. The ending came out of nowhere with Chono just throwing on a hold on the knee which barely seemed hurt at all. The unofficial story is that Watts told them to keep it slow so as not to show up the WCW guys, which would explain a lot here. Muta won the title about a week later, so I have no idea why he lost here.

Jim Ross talks about a tournament for the vacant US Title but Rude interrupts and complains about having the title stripped from him. He swears to be back and to take the US and world titles.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Steve Williams

Ron is defending and JR is already spouting off football stats as both of these guys were NCAA lineman. Jesse goes on a rant about how Rude has been ripped off before we get going. Doc requests and receives a handshake with a surprising lack of attacking after. Apparently Ron is wrestling with a shoulder injury. The champion grabs a headlock to slow Doc down for a bit before they both hit the ropes and collide. No one moves anywhere so they get in a three point stance, but Simmons proves that Florida State is smarter than Oklahoma by jumping over Doc and clotheslining him down.

Simmons puts on an armbar but Williams rolls to the floor. Back in and Williams pulls Simmons’ limited hair to escape. Ron is annoyed so he cranks on the arm even more. The champ pounds on the arm even more and gets annoyed when Doc shoves him. They slug it out with Simmons taking over and going back to the armbar. Now Simmons goes up top but Williams just steps to the side, sending Ron crashing down to the mat.

Williams goes after Simmons’ leg as this match continues to be in slow motion. Off to a half crab by Doc with almost no torque on it at all. A chop block puts Simmons down again and Williams fires off kicks to the back of the leg. Doc puts on a leg bar before getting up for another slugout. Simmons keeps trying to fight back but shots to the knee keep bringing him down. A clothesline gets two for Williams as this match keeps plodding along.

Back to another weak leglock as Doc kicks away at the leg. A slam puts Ron down again and there’s another chop block for good measure. It works so well that Doc hits another. He tries a third but Ron catches him with a kick coming in to take over. The spinebuster puts Williams down and Ron takes him down with some shots to Williams’ knee. They fight to the floor and slug it out again with both guys getting counted out for a very lame ending.

Rating: D. The problem here is there was no reason at all for these two to be fighting. Williams is there because Rude couldn’t go, but Rude had been built up as the real challenge for months on end. The leg work was decent enough but it didn’t go anywhere with the ending having nothing to do with the leg at all. Also I have no idea why Williams was put in here, as Vader would win the world title a mere 48 hours after this show.

Post match the decision is changed to Doc being disqualified for attacking Simmons, which changes absolutely nothing at all.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Brian Pillman vs. Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat

Windham used to be tag champions with Dustin Rhodes but lost the belts to Steamboat and Douglas a few months ago. Pillman turned heel due to frustration with only being Light Heavyweight Champion and hooked up with Windham soon thereafter. A few weeks ago Barry beat the tar out of both champions with a chair so Steamboat and Douglas want revenge. Douglas and Pillman start things off as Jesse’s mind is blown hearing about Shane holding a masters degree. A right hand puts Pillman down and more of them break up Pillman’s sunset flip attempt.

Brian, tired of losing the wrestling portion of the match, rakes Shane’s eyes to take over. Shane dropkicks him to the floor as Steamboat comes in for a double dropkick on Barry. Pillman bails to the floor as the champions double backdrop Windham. Barry gets the tag and wants Steamboat all to himself. A hard chop puts Barry down and a suplex does the same. Steamboat slows Barry down with a front facelock and a snapmare before bringing Shane back in.

Douglas puts Barry in a chinlock but Windham picks Shane up and suplexes out of it. Back to Steamboat for a neck snap on Barry and a right hand to Pillman. All champions so far. A clothesline puts Barry on the floor and Steamboat slams him on the wooden floor for good measure. Barry climbs up onto the ramp so Shane slams him down again just because he’s not a nice person. Ricky backdrops Barry into the ring and gets two off a neckbreaker. Back to Shane for another chinlock as Barry is trying to survive.

Windham FINALLY gets something going with a jawbreaker on Shane, allowing for the tag off to Brian. A facejam puts Shane down but a dropkick sends Pillman out to the floor and possibly into the barricade. Back in and Shane goes up top, but a distraction by Windham allows Brian to dropkick him off the top and out to the floor. Barry adds a big lariat for good measure before coming in legally and headbutting Shane down. A boot to Shane’s chest stops his comeback bid and Brian gets in some cheating for good measure.

Brian comes back in legally and chops Douglas down but Shane comes back with some right hands of his own. Pillman trips him up though and it’s right back to Windham, who stomps on Shane and throws him through the ropes and into the barricade to keep the champions in trouble. Steamboat goes to the floor to check on his partner but also blasts Windham in the back with a chair. It’s still not enough for the tag to Ricky though as Pillman suplexes Shane down.

Barry comes in off the top with a punch to Shane’s face and a suplex for two. Ross is losing his mind over the beating that Shane is taking. A splash gets two for Brian and Steamboat charges in, allowing the challengers to double team Shane in the corner. Barry tries another suplex, but this time Douglas counters into one of his own. Shane fires off one last right hand before falling backwards into the tag to Steamboat.

The Dragon (Steamboat) cleans house with slams for both guys but he walks into a powerslam from Barry to stop the comeback cold. A belly to back suplex puts Ricky down again and it’s off to Pillman, who illegally throws Steamboat over the top to the floor. The referee missed it though due to Shane, who also causes the referee to miss Windham throwing Steamboat into the post.

Back in and Steamboat chops it out with Pillman but gets caught in a headscissors for two. Windham comes in again with a top rope forearm to Ricky’s ribs, causing Ricky to….lecture him? Steamboat points his finger in Windham’s face and says something to him which confuses Barry. Windham goes up top but misses a right hand, allowing Steamboat to hit a superkick and a facejam to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Shane vs. Pillman with Douglas cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Steamboat cross bodies Windham onto the ramp. Shane hits his belly to belly suplex in Brian for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. Really awesome tag match here with all four guys working very hard to make everyone look good out there. Steamboat and Douglas would hold the belts until March, when Windham had to be replaced by Steve Austin due to an injury. Austin and Pillman proved to be a better team and took the belts, leading to a string of classic rematches. This was very good stuff though and match of the night by far to this point.

We recap Sting vs. Vader’s paths to the King of Cable Tournament final. That was always a really bad name for a tournament, because most people assumed it meant cable TV. In reality, the name was referring to the cables that made the ring ropes. Vader tried to hurt Sting when he found out they would be in the finals, so Sting broke a 2×4 over Vader’s back. These two have a LONG history together which would continue on for years after this.

In case you’re curious, here are the tournament brackets:

Rick Rude vs. Barry Windham
Sting vs. Brian Pillman
Vader vs. Tony Atlas
Dustin Rhodes vs. Barbarian

Rick Rude vs. Sting
Vader vs. Dustin Rhodes

King of Cable Finals: Sting vs. Vader

This is officially for a trophy but for these two it’s all about bragging rights and revenge. Sting has said that his battle plan coming in was to make Vader run out of gas. The problem with that is you have to survive Vader’s initial onslaught. Sting fires off some punches to start and Vader just shakes his head at him. Vader easily slams Sting down, much to his manager Harley Race’s approval. Sting gets up and walks int another slam, this time with just one arm.

That doesn’t work so Sting just charges at Vader, only to get his head knocked off by a clothesline. Sting is a lot of things, but intelligent never was one of them. Vader easily gorilla presses him up and drops Sting throat first on the top rope. Sting bails to the floor as he’s in BIG trouble early on. Back in and Vader pounds away, but Sting hits the ropes and then hits a running flipping body attack to take Vader down. A big boot puts Vader down again and Sting shows his own freakish strength by tossing Vader over his head in a German suplex.

A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Vader is suddenly reeling. Sting gets back in and dives over the top onto Vader and Race to put both guys down again. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Vader is down on the floor as Sting calmly waits in the ring. Back in and Vader is all ticked off, so he pounds away on Sting with some HARD shots to the face and body. A splash misses in the corner though, allowing Sting to load up the Stinger Splash. Vader is ready though and gets his boot up, which collides with Sting’s face with a sick smacking sound.

Sting will have none of that though and kicks Vader in the face twice before DDTing Vader down. In an impressive strength display, Sting puts Vader on top and DDTs him off the top for two. There’s the Scorpion Deathlock but Vader quickly gets to the rope. Vader bails to the floor for a walk, so Sting follows with a Stinger Splash, only to hit the railing. For those of you keeping track of his career average on that move, Sting has probably tried it 1983 times and has hit maybe two of them. Like I said, he’s not that bright sometimes.

Back in and Vader is stalking Sting like a vulture, hitting a big splash in the corner to crush Sting. A clothesline gets two for Vader and he follows it up with some HARD right hands to the jaw. Vader drops Sting with a belly to back suplex and another splash which only gets two. The big man is getting very frustrated so he puts on a sloppy looking chinlock. He pulls back and DRILS Sting in the face with a crossface shot for two. Sting blocks a clothesline and gets a quick backslide for two but he can’t follow up.

Sting tries a sunset flip but has to roll away when Vader tries to drop down on his chest. Vader pops back up and starts blasting Sting in the face and ribs with JR wanting the match to be stopped. Sting counters a headlock with a belly to back suplex but he’s so spent that Vader covers him for two. Back up again and Vader just unloads on Sting in the corner, but most of the shots are hitting Sting’s forearms. Sting keeps his arms up for defense so Vader puts him on top for a superplex. Ever the hero, Sting pokes him in the eyes to drop Vader, but Sting is so spent that he just falls to the mat.

Vader puts him in the corner and goes off with even more rights and lefts, but Sting says bring it on. Vader’s shots are noticeably getting weaker and weaker and Sting is getting that adrenaline rush of his. A big right hand staggers Vader and three more drop the monster.

Sting lifts him up and drops Vader down with a Samoan drop, followed by a top rope splash for two. Now Sting isn’t sure what to do. He goes after Race on the apron, allowing Vader to get in a clothesline in the corner. Vader hits a chokeslam and goes up for a middle rope splash. He doesn’t cover though and goes up again, only to have Sting catch him in a powerslam and dive on top for the pin and the tournament.

Rating: A. This was an absolute war and it told a great story, as these two always did. It’s a great David vs. Goliath story….if David was 6’3 and had his face painted blue and white. Sting knew that he had to survive Vader long enough and challenge him to a fight, which he knew Vader would put everything he had into. The power displayed by Sting here was insane and words cannot accurately describe how hard Vader was hitting him. These two were seemingly incapable of having anything but a great match, so WCW just let them fight for about two and a half years straight. This is an excellent match and well worth seeing.

Sting is presented with his trophy.

NFL Hall of Famer Paul Hornung is here and talks about what winning the Super Bowl ring means. The idea is to compare it to the BattleBowl ring but it doesn’t quite work as well as they would like. Gee, it’s certainly a great idea to talk to a football player with a ring. It’s not like one of the most popular wrestlers in the world was presented with one earlier in the night or anything.

BattleBowl

Sting, Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Steve Williams, Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Barry Windham, Great Muta

It’s an eight man battle royal for the ring. This is the third match of the night for five guys, giving Rhodes, Hammer and Spivey an advantage. Sting is also defending champion remember. He and Vader are exhausted as their match ended about five minutes earlier, so they fight on the ramp instead of getting in the ring. Sting finally gets inside but Vader dives over the top to get at Sting again.

Vader holds Sting so that Barry can pound away on him as everyone else just fights by the ropes. The match slows down a lot as there’s really no reason for most of these people to be fighting each other. Windham and Rhodes hate each other but that’s about it. Spivey and Windham try to put Sting out but Muta, Sting’s longtime rival, makes the save for no apparent reason. Now Vader saves Williams and starts choking Rhodes in the corner.

Everyone is exhausted so the action in the match pretty much stops. Rhodes dumps Windham to the ramp which doesn’t count apparently. Doc dumps out Van Hammer as Rhodes bulldogs Windham on the ramp. Now to add to the confusion, Sting drops Spivey onto the ramp and that counts as an elimination. Barry is back in now but he can barely stand up at this point. Vader hits a running clothesline on Sting, knocking both guys out to the ramp for a double elimination.

So we’re down to Muta, Rhodes, Windham and Doc, making for a rather dull ending to the match. Rhodes pounds on Barry due to old hatred while Doc beats on Muta due to a lack of anyone else to fight. Muta comes back with a pair of kicks on Williams as Barry is bleeding from the nose. Barry comes back with some shots to Dustin’s back as this is going VERY slowly. Windham goes up but gets taken down by Rhodes and DDT’d for good measure. Dustin and Doc go at it and put each other out maybe ten seconds later.

The fans are all behind Muta but Barry takes over and rams Muta into the corner. A quick suplex puts the Great one down and it’s time for Barry to throw him out. Muta hangs on so Barry suplexes him down again. Barry hits his superplex finisher and throws Muta out, but like any stupid heel he doesn’t pay enough attention, and Muta skins the cat to get back inside. A pair of dropkicks send Barry out and Muta wins BattleBowl.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously what else do you want me to say here? It’s a battle royal for the sake of a ring with about three people the fans cared about in the slightest. Muta winning does very little for anyone as he had one more televised WCW match in the next year, which would be losing the NWA World Title to Windham in February. On top of that this was very boring as everyone had nothing left and spent most of the match laying on the ropes. Nothing to see here but the fans liked Muta winning at least.

Muta nearly jumps out of his skin when the fireworks go off.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. First of all, three of the first four tag matches are pretty much worthless. After that we have two lame world title matches to keep the show down even more. Then we have a very good tag match and an excellent Sting vs. Vader match followed by a lame battle royal. At the end of the day there’s more bad here than good, but the parts that are good are REALLY good.

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Souled Out 1999 (2014 Redo): Like An Ugly Jigsaw Puzzle

Souled Out 1999
Date: January 17, 1999
Location: Charleston Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Attendance: 10,833
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s three weeks after Starrcade and a lot has changed in that short span of time. However, as much as things have changed, it feels more like we went back in time two years instead of reaching a new place in WCW. The main events tonight are Ric and David Flair vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham in David’s in ring debut and Goldberg vs. Scott Hall in a tazer on a pole (it’s hanging above the ring but same idea) match as Goldberg is out for revenge on the people that cost him the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a President Flair press conference, saying they’ll stay the course against the NWO. Nothing to see here other than flashbulbs and media applause.

As we go to the arena, we see that the NWO logo now has a big red X over it anywhere the logo appears. Why Flair didn’t just make it a regular WCW logo is probably some legal issue that WWE thinks we would care about.

Tony says it’s a night of revenge for WCW. The announcers talk for a bit as they always did to open a show.

Call the Hotline! I actually did that once and it took forever to get to anything and the trivia game, the one thing I wanted to do, wasn’t available.

We cut to the back and Goldberg is down holding his knee. He’s conscious though and throws the cameraman out of the room.

Mike Enos vs. Chris Benoit

After main eventing Thunder for two weeks in a row, this is the best Benoit can get? Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him up against the ropes and chopping away before getting taken down by a running clothesline. The muscular Enos hammers away but gets chopped and clotheslined by the Canadian to take over. Enos gets whipped down into the corner and dragon screw leg whipped for good measure.

More chops have Enos reeling but he counters the Crossface into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a very delayed two. A powerslam gets a much more timely two and we hit the bearhug on Benoit. Off to the chinlock on Benoit which is quickly switched over to another bearhug. Benoit elbows out of it but gets kneed in the ribs to put him down again. Benoit counters a suplex into a cross body for two. The Rolling Germans have Mike in trouble and there’s the Swan Dive but Benoit can’t cover. Back up and Benoit slaps on the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m not sure this should have opened a PPV. Benoit looked good, though it’s against Mike Enos so how much does it really mean? This was a good sign that WCW didn’t know what to do with Benoit at the moment, but at least he got a nice win.

Clips of Hall costing Goldberg the title and the announcement of the tazer match.

Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Norman comes out carrying a small urn with the remains of Pepe. He taunts Chavo with the remains to start before running outside for the opening bell. Back in and a single clothesline sends Smiley out to the floor. Another clothesline sends him outside again and a big dive takes Norman down. A springboard bulldog has Norman in even more trouble and a spinning top rope cross body does the same.

Norman sends him into the buckle and hits the spinning slam followed by the Big Wiggle. Off to a figure four neck lock on Chavo but Guerrero fights up, only to have his moonsault hit knees. Norman drapes him over the top rope as Tenay and Heenan get into an argument over Mrs. Guerrero’s chili. Smiley hooks a modified surfboard followed by a bodyscissors as this is a nice display of submissions.

Back up and a swinging neckbreaker gets two on Chavo before he gets caught in a kind of ankle lock. Chavo counters into a leg hold of his own but Norman easily rolls out and elbows Chavo in the face. Back to the mat with a seated Norman putting his feet on Chavo’s shoulders and pulling on his arms. The fans think this is boring because they don’t understand technical wrestling. A top rope superplex to Chavo appeases them a bit and the Big Wiggle makes them even happier.

Norman starts getting more physical with a back elbow to the jaw getting two. Off to a kind of seated abdominal stretch before Chavo fights up with a belly to back suplex. Smiley fights back up again and puts on a Gory Special for some humiliation. Chavo escapes and tries a rollup but Norman blocks it and spanks Guerrero a bit to the biggest reaction of the night. Chavo spins out of the Norman’s Conquest but can’t hook the tornado DDT. Smiley throws the sawdust in Chavo’s face, setting up the Conquest for the win.

Rating: B-. Good match but the ending brought it down a bit. This is a good example of the difference between someone like Chavo and Iaukea from Thunder. Iaukea was repeating moves late in the match whereas Chavo has a far more entertaining and interesting match that ran five minutes longer. WCW would be smart to listen to those reactions Smiley is getting.

Konnan wants revenge for the NWO turning on him.

Fit Finlay vs. Van Hammer

This is the third straight unannounced match. Van Hammer is a hippie here in a gimmick which never went anywhere. They stall a lot to get going until Van Hammer clotheslines him down. A slam off the ropes gets two on Finlay but he rips at Hammer’s face to take over again. An elbow drop gives Finlay a near fall of his own and a jawbreaker (called a clothesline by Tony) has Hammer in trouble.

They trade some forearms with Hammer getting the better of it until he misses an elbow drop. Finlay rips at the face some more but gets punched in the ribs to put him back down. Hammer cranks on the leg and the fans are just dead for this. Back up and Hammer slams him down and we head outside. That goes nowhere so Finlay punches him in the face and kicks him throat first into the ropes. Hammer escapes a sleeper but charges into a boot in the corner. A powerslam gets two on Finlay but he comes back with the rolling fireman’s carry into the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. Unlike the opening match which was watchable but shouldn’t have been on PPV, this was really boring and shouldn’t have been on PPV. Finlay is a talented guy but I have no idea why he’s the go to guy when you need a spot filled in on a pay per view. Why not throw Booker T. out there to keep up his hot streak? Probably because this is WCW and they don’t think in that much detail.

We look at the Flairs vs. Hennig/Windham.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath

This was set up over a few brawls they’ve had over the last few weeks. They shove each other to start until Wrath gets poked in the eyes. He’s still able to nail a big boot though and Bigelow is knocked to the floor. Back in and Bigelow misses a headbutt before getting hammered in the back. A HARD chop in the corner has Bigelow in trouble before it’s off to a wristlock.

Wrath hits a nice middle rope clothesline for two as the fans are only slightly more interested than they were in the previous match. Bigelow comes back with a shoulder and chinlock followed by some choking. Back to the chinlock as Tony promises to give us the results of the coin toss before the four way Cruiserweight Title match tonight. AND THEY’LL TELL US BEFORE THE MATCH! They actually treat this like a big deal.

The hold stays on WAY too long so Heenan starts with tattoo jokes. Back up and Bigelow shrugs off some knees to the ribs so Wrath nails a dropkick to take Bam Bam down. A powerslam puts Wrath down but he’s quickly back up for a double clothesline to drop both guys. Wrath misses a charge and hits the post, setting up Greetings From Asbury Park to kill Wrath’s push once and for all. Tony says that’s just one blemish on his record as he can’t remember something that happened about six weeks ago.

Rating: D. That chinlock killed whatever this match might have had but the fans were already done by the time it went on. Wrath had a nice little run for a few months but at the end of the day he was a guy that had potential to be something interesting and was getting over so the old guard had to beat him in his two biggest matches. We wouldn’t want someone new getting over would we?

Konnan vs. Lex Luger

Konnan has lost that new shirt with the NWO logo on it. Before the match Konnan babbles about dressings and tossing salads. This is fallout from Luger turning on Konnan and throwing him out of the Wolfpack. Luger says Konnan just couldn’t make the A team and offers him a change to leave. Konnan nails him in the jaw and we’re ready to go as the fans are FINALLY awake and actually going nuts for this. Imagine that: you have a match with an interesting story behind it and the fans care.

Luger is easily knocked to the floor to start and things settle down a bit. Konnan brings him back in and stomps away but Luger holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick. Even Luger’s stomps to the back are getting booed here. Luger starts working on the back with knees and forearms to the spine. Konnan comes back by ramming him face first into the buckle until Luger stomps him down again. Off to a bearhug followed by some elbows to the back. Konnan rolls outside as the match slows down again.

Back in and Konnan hits a quick cross body followed by the rolling clothesline to start his comeback. There’s the low dropkick but here comes Liz, clearly fresh off some surgical enhancements, to break up the Tequila Sunrise with hairspray to the face. The referee sees Liz leave and doesn’t question why Konnan let go of the hold and is now holding his eyes. Either way, the Torture Rack gets the easy win.

Rating: D+. This was better than I was expecting with the crowd actually carrying it to a better result than expected. They really liked Konnan here which again should be grounds for a push for the guy. He couldn’t back it up in the ring or anything like that, so WCW should put him in a team with some more skilled guys, which I believe is what they did.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

Loser wears a dress. Heenan: “I’d like to see Ralphus in a dress.” Scott Dickinson, the crooked referee, is in charge of this match because Ric Flair or whoever makes these decisions isn’t all that smart. Saturn quickly shoves Jericho to the floor before Jericho hides in the corner a lot to continue the stalling.

Jericho grabs a headlock but gets slammed down for a quick escape. Saturn hammers away in the corner as Ralphus takes the leopard print dress out of a bag to taunt Perry a bit. Jericho takes over with a hot shot and the springboard dropkick to send him into the barricade. A nice plancha takes Saturn down again and a big boot of all things gets two for Jericho.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Saturn comes back with some right hands. The Lionsault hits knees and Saturn nails a t-bone suplex. Chris comes back with a modified butterfly powerbomb but Saturn blocks a dropkick and catapults him to the floor. A baseball slide knocks Jericho down again and a top rope splash gets two for Saturn.

They trade a sloppy looking pinfall reversal sequence until Saturn avoids a charge in the corner to crotch Jericho on the ropes. The Death Valley Driver and Liontamer are both countered and Saturn grabs a small package, but Dickinson blatanly shoves it over and makes the fast count to give Jericho the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t all that great but the ending made it even worse. As stupid as it is, the result makes even less sense when you consider there are two face authority figures. There’s no one watching this in the back that could come out here and say hang on a second? The match wasn’t as good as you would expect from these two.

Jericho smacks Dickinson and tells him to make Saturn put the dress on. Saturn does it anyway and Dickinson zips him up. The interesting thing here is news had leaked out that Jericho was leaving when his contract was up in the fall, so this should have been an obvious result. However, why go with what makes sense when you can humiliate Saturn even more?

David Flair says he isn’t a wrestler but he’ll be in the ring anyway out of respect to his father. Since this is WCW, you can start the countdown until he turns on his dad.

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. Billy Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

TONY LIED TO US ABOUT THE STARTERS! How can I ever survive by having to last a full hour without knowing what’s going to happen? How do I know if I should stay tuned if I don’t know if this will be one of the biggest nights in the history of our sport??? This is one fall to a finish, Kidman is defending and will be starting with Juvy. Psychosis is a substitute for Eddie Guerrero after Eddie had a horrible car wreck at the beginning of the year. Tony apologizes for giving us wrong information then says it doesn’t matter anyway.

Kidman and Mysterio get things going but all four are in within fifteen seconds. Things settle down before they get more interesting and we get the starters alone in the ring. Rey shakes Kidman’s hand before taking him down with a headscissors but Kidman hooks one of his own. Both guys try cross bodies at the same time and everyone is down. Both other guys come in without tags before Kidman and Rey tag them in a few seconds later.

They trade cradles in a nice sequence but the fans still don’t seem to care. A sloppy looking sequence results in some standing switches as the silence here is very strange. The fans usually love these cruiserweight matches. Everything breaks down and the fans pick up a bit as Rey throws Kidman into the BK Bomb for no cover. Rey sidesteps Psychosis so Kidman can hit the top rope cross body for two. Juvy trips up Kidman (Psychosis: “THANK YOU JUVY!”) so Psychosis can hit a nice front suplex to put the champion down.

A running clothesline puts Kidman on the floor with Juvy throwing Rey onto the champion. Psychosis and Juvy get in an argument over who is going to do an Asai Moonsault so Rey and Kidman powerbomb them off the apron to the floor. Back in and a springboard Doomsday Device with Rey playing Hawk gets two on Guerrera. Rey and Psychosis fight on the apron with Mysterio monkey flipping Psychosis over the post and onto the floor in a nice spot.

Kidman hits a nice cannonball off the top onto Psychosis but might have hurt his own shoulder. A great looking Air Juvy takes both guys down and Rey follows him out but only hits Kidman. Juvy clotheslines Psychosis by mistake so he heads back inside for a springboard seated senton from Mysterio. A Juvy Driver gets two on Rey with Psychosis making the save with a springboard missile dropkick. Psychosis hooks a mostly botched middle rope victory roll for two on Guerrera before Kidman counters a powerbomb for two.

Mysterio spins into a bulldog on the champion for another near fall and everyone is sent outside save for Psychosis. Juvy lays the two good guys on the floor next to each other and Psychosis hits a BIG suicide dive to land on both of them. A second attempt hits floor instead of Mysterio but Kidman counters the Juvy driver into a reverse DDT. Rey sees that Kidman is loading up the Shooting Star but hits a springboard hurricanrana on Psychosis anyway. The Shooting Star is good for the pin on Guerrera to retain the title.

Rating: B-. Good but not great match here with some awesome high spots. Unfortunately there wasn’t much besides though and it really brought the match down a few notches. Guerrero would have been better in there but thankfully the division was deep enough that you could just throw in another name like Psychosis to fill in the spot. This would have been better if they cut out about three minutes to tighten things up a little bit.

Booker T. talks about the dress match when Jericho comes in and challenges him to a match on Nitro. That should be awesome.

Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair/David Flair

Windham turned on Flair during the Bischoff feud and Hennig cost Flair the Bischoff match. Ric wanted a handicap match but his son offered to have his dad’s back, despite not having any in ring experience. Ric grabs a chair and calls the villains Horsemen rejects. Curt promises to beat up the father and then the son before ordering Anderson to go to the back. The boss (Ric) threatens to send Hennig to the WWF if he doesn’t get in here to fight. We’re still not done talking as Barry wants to start with David.

We finally get going and David drives him against the ropes but gets taken down by a right hand. A headscissors puts Barry down and all four get in the ring for a few seconds. Things settle down with Barry kicking him in the ribs but getting chopped down with ease. Former NWA World Champion Barry Windham of course begs off from a 19 year old guy who looks to weigh 175 soaking wet because he can hit a few chops.

Barry slams him down but misses an elbow drop, allowing for a tag off to Ric. More chops set up a quickly broken chinlock and it’s off to Hennig to slap the boss and talk some trash. They trade more chops and there’s the Hennig neck snap before he knocks David off the apron. The Flair Flip puts Ric on the floor but the evil ones don’t follow up. Ric goes up top and deserves that slam off the top for trying it so many times. Barry’s superplex gets two with no reference to it being his finisher. Windham hammers away in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop to put both guys down.

More chops give Flair a breather but he swings so hard that he falls back to the mat. Hennig comes back in for a spinning toehold followed by the Figure Four. Barry comes in to try a Figure Four of his own but Ric small packages him for two. The elder Flair is scared to tag so Windham hammers away even more. Ric fires off chops but the double teaming is too much for him to fight off.

Anderson pulls Hennig to the floor and Ric is able to slap the Figure Four on Barry. Curt hits Arn in the bad neck and sends him into the barricade as everything breaks down. Ric falls down from exhaustion as David stays on the apron. David finally comes in with a low blow to Curt to break up a double suplex but Hennig nails him with a right hand. Anderson comes in with a tire iron to break up the PerfectPlex and Curt very clearly pulls David on top of him for the pin.

Rating: D+. Refresh my memory. Aren’t there three other Horsemen that Flair could have picked or that Arn could have suggested? I really don’t get why David was in there when all those other guys were available. Ric wanting his son in there makes sense for a story, but from a creative perspective this was the worst idea they possibly could have gone with. The story was acceptable enough and the match could have been worse, but you have Benoit and Malenko available but we get a glorified handicap match instead.

Post match we’ve immediately got almost all of the NWO to attack the Flairs. Benoit comes out to help but there are like twelve NWO members out there. Ric is handcuffed to the ropes and the big beating is on. David is surrounded as the fans chant for Goldberg to come make a save.

After being tripped to the mat, David actually lunges at Hogan so it’s time for a beating with the weightlifting belt. There’s the EZ E spray painted on David’s back as this just keeps going. A Sting chant has no effect either. The NWO finally leaves after like seven minutes of beating up David. Now we get another two minutes of Hogan talking trash to Ric and the father holding his son and saying he’s sorry.

Long, slow motion, black and white video on Luger turning on Goldberg after the Fingerpoke of Doom.

Scott Hall vs. Goldberg

The tazer is hung above the ring and ladders are provided to pull it down. You have to shock the other guy to win so there are no pins or submissions. Hall talks about taking away the Streak and the title to kill some time before the match. He takes credit for Goldberg’s knee injury because Goldberg slipped in fear. Tony immediately refutes it but here’s Goldberg. Buffer actually apologizes for the “false announcement”. Goldberg’s knee is in a big brace to compensate for earlier but he’s still badly limping.

Hall is knocked to the mat to start but Goldberg isn’t following up due to the injury. They circle each other for a bit until Goldberg finally knocks him down again. Hall gets taken down a third time as we’re somehow five minutes into this. A powerslam drops Hall again but the knee gives out. Hall wraps the knee around the post and goes to get the ladder but Goldberg continues the age old tradition of not letting anyone else bring in the ladder despite it meaning nothing at all.

Goldberg tries to bring the ladder into the ring but Hall baseball slides it into his face to draw some blood. The fans are dead again. Hall goes up but drops a bad looking elbow for no apparent reason. Scott climbs again but gets suplexed down with ease. Goldberg’s climb is quickly stopped with a ladder to the leg and the match stays slow. This time Hall is shoved off the ladder and goes throat first onto the top rope. Tony: “That may have been a break for Goldberg.”

A clothesline puts Hall down and Goldberg whips him into the ladder, sending the ladder falling down onto Scott. Goldberg’s slow climb is countered with a dropkick before Goldberg shoves Hall off the ladder. I’m not skipping anything between most of these saves as there’s no transition between them at all.

Disco Inferno runs out for a save and shoves the ladder over to stop Goldberg and Hall pulls down the tazer. Hall misses his shots though and gets superkicked to knock the tazer outside. Goldberg rolls outside and gets it, shocks Disco, tosses the tazer into the air so he can spear and Jackhammer Hall before the shock gives Goldberg the win.

Rating: D-. They made A LADDER MATCH BORING. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? The match was really dull and slow because they decided to have Goldberg be injured and take away all of the stuff that got him over in the first place. It didn’t help that you had two power guys out there and no one who could do high spots, leaving us with seventeen minutes of shoving the other guy off the ladder. Goldberg getting a win to stand tall to end the show is the right move, but I don’t see why we needed to have a long and dull match before we got there.

Post match Bam Bam Bigelow runs in to beat up Goldberg. Hall is up thirty seconds after being shocked (and sixty seconds after being speared and Jackhammered) to zap both guys to end the show. Remember at Starrcade when Goldberg got shocked and stayed down for about the last five minutes of the show, including falling out of the ring at one point? Apparently neither does Scott Hall.

Overall Rating: D. The worst part about this show is they were trying at some points. That makes it harder to criticize because it looks like the guys on top are the ones making it such a horrible show. The opening part of this show is good stuff (albeit not the most interesting) before the main event and the long NWO beatdown after an acceptable (all things considered) match really hurt things. The show wasn’t good, but it did have good parts which is more than I can say about a lot of WCW PPVs around this time.

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Starrcade 1998 (2014 Redo): It Makes 1997 Look Good

Starrcade 1998
Date: December 27, 1998
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 16,066
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s the biggest show of the year and I don’t know how many people know about it. I don’t remember the same show feeling so different just a year later. Last year Starrcade felt like an event rather than just a wrestling show. This year it feels like it could be a Clash of the Champions TV special instead of the biggest show of the year. I have a very bad feeling about what could be coming here, especially now that I have a fresh memory of how the buildup went. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is all about Goldberg vs. Nash, even though it’s arguably not even the main event.

Tony and company tell us that the Horsemen have been banned from the building tonight as per Eric Bischoff’s orders. They talk about the rest of the card for a bit to kill some time.

First up tonight: a commercial for a QVC special later in the week.

Call the Hotline!

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman is defending and has been trying to defend the title against Mysterio for weeks, only to have the LWO interfere. Juventud is there as the former champion wanting a rematch and LWO leader Eddie Guerrero’s hand picked challenger. Rey stomps on his LWO shirt on the way to the ring. Juvy gets double teamed to start, much to the fans’ delight. He tries to fight back against Kidman but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Mysterio. Kidman whips Rey into the Bronco Buster, even though Juvy was a foot in front of the buckle and had the back of his head driven hard into the corner.

The good guys start slugging it out before nailing Juvy at the same time, only to go at it again. Juvy misses a top rope cross body, allowing Kidman to slam Rey onto Juvy’s chest for two. Guerrera comes back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog to both guys at the same time before telling the cameraman he’s got it. Mysterio can’t hook a German suplex on Juvy but Kidman clotheslines Guerrera down for two instead.

Kidman is sent to the floor and Juvy backdrops Rey on top of the champion, setting up a big dive to take out both guys. The fans didn’t seem interested for some reason. Back in and Juvy dives again, only to get double dropkicked out of the air. Heenan talks about Bill being here tonight. Tenay: “Clinton?” Heenan: “No Bill Schwartz, an old friend of mine from Cincinnati.” West Coast Pop gets two on Juvy but Kidman comes back with a headlock takeover out of the corner on Juvy with a dropkick to Rey at the same time.

Mysterio is still down as Kidman dives into Juvy’s boots to the face, allowing Rey to pop up and get two on the champion off a slingshot moonsault. Juvy is stood on the apron, allowing Rey to hit a hurricanrana off the top to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and Kidman gets two on Juvy with a layout powerbomb. Juvy hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker for the same on Mysterio before he seds Juvy and Kidman out to the floor. Rey hits a HUGE top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down but he can barely follow up.

Juvy gets taken down by a springboard hurricanrana from the masked man but walks into a bad looking Juvy Driver for two. Kidman makes a diving save before planing Juvy with the BK Bomb for two. Mysterio is the only one on his feet but he takes Juvy to the floor with another hurricanrana. Kidman has to keep up with the others, hitting a great looking Shooting Star to the floor, taking out both guys in the process. Eddie Guerrero comes out to the ring and pushes Juvy forward to counter a sunset flip. Rey comes in and dropkicks Juvy back into the sunset flip, giving Kidman the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. Awesome opener here as all three guys were going nuts out there. That Shooting Star looked great and the other two were their usual awesome selves. Eddie getting involved makes me think a fourway would have been a better option, but there’s nothing wrong with three guys flying all over the place and firing up the crowd to open up a show.

Post match Eddie yells at Rey and Juvy, saying they’re not LWO material if they can’t beat a creampuff like Kidman. Eddie shoves Juvy down and keeps ripping into Kidman. The champion comes out and offers Eddie a title shot RIGHT NOW. Eddie says let him go get his gear on but Kidman doesn’t want to wait. The match is on, making me wonder what was going to get this spot originally.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Eddie, in street clothes, decks Kidman to get things going and hammers away. A powerbomb gets two on the champion and we hit the abdominal stretch with Juvy helping from the floor. Mysterio breaks that up twice in a row, drawing Eddie to the floor for a jawing session with Rey. Kidman comes back with a slingshot ankle scissors for two before dropkicking Guerrero down.

Eddie nails a chopblock to take over again and puts on a modified leg lock while pulling on Kidman’s arm at the same time. Kidman makes a rope and Rey tries to give him a pep talk. It works well enough as Eddie is sent into the barricade to give the champion a breather. Back in and Kidman hits a quick bulldog before hammering away in the corner. Kidman is on instinct and fumes here, allowing Eddie to counter a weak sleeper with a jawbreaker.

The referee goes to talk to Rey for some reason, allowing Eddie to take off his boot and blast Kidman in the head for a delayed two. The brainbuster looks to set up the Frog Splash but Kidman pops back up with a superplex. Guerrero is up first and dropkicks the knee out again, setting up a leg lock which doesn’t put much torque on the knee. Mysterio and Juvy get in a fight on the floor over Eddie’s shoe and the distraction makes Billy break the hold.

Kidman fights out of a powerbomb and stomps Eddie as hard as he can. A slingshot legdrop gets two but Eddie counters a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Eddie putting Kidman on top, only to get shoved down. Eddie’s bodyguard distract the referee, allowing Juvy to crotch Kidman down. Rey does the same to Eddie though, setting up the Shooting Star to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another awesome match here with the story coming through much stronger than in the opening match. Kidman fighting out of desperation was an awesome story with Eddie not being able to back up his months of talk making it even better. All four guys looked good in their matches, but it’s eaten up a lot of time.

Nash vs. Goldberg video. This brings us to one of the biggest problems of the evening: time. We’re at forty minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours to go and only three announced matches left. Keep that in mind as this show is about to start its downward spiral.

Norman Smiley vs. Prince Iaukea

Yes on Starrcade, in a rematch of something we just saw on Nitro twice this month already. Norman was getting a push around this time but that doesn’t mean you give him a match against the same guy he’s beaten twice in less than three weeks on PPV. Iaukea takes over to start and sends Norman to the floor for a dive off the apon. The announcers ignore most of the match to talk about Flair vs. Bischoff, making this match seem all the more pointless.

Back in and Norman takes control with his amateur stuff and works on something resembling a Kimura. Off to a short arm scissors as Tony talks about Flair’s promos (his word) and the recent heart attack. Smiley drops him ribs first over the top rope but stops for the Big Wiggle. There’s the swinging slam for two before he dances too long, allowing Prince to get a sunset flip for two.

The fans think this is boring so Norman double stomps Iaukea and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Norman dances on the mat a bit. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two on Iaukea and it’s back to the arm. More dancing follows and Prince suplexes the distracted Smiley down for two. Norman puts on a series of freaky looking arm holds before hitting another double stomp.

Prince comes back with what might have been a low blow but Norman rakes the eyes. More dancing ensues and Prince springboards in with a cross body, only to have Smiley roll through for two. Neither guy can get a backslide so Norman slips behind him and puts on the chicken wing, now dubbed Norman’s Conquest, for the submission.

Rating: D-. Smiley was his usual fun self but this belongs on Thunder or Saturday Night. It got nearly TWELVE MINUTES, or more than Eddie’s match got. Norman is a rising star but what good does it do him to have a boring match that he’s won twice already this month? Somehow, this isn’t the oddest choice of a match so far.

Here’s Hall with something to say. I’ve heard he was scheduled to face Bigelow on this show. That makes sense given what happened recently on Nitro, but I never heard it announced on television. Unless it was announced on Saturday Night, that might have been a rumor or dirtsheet announcement. Either way, Hall comes out with an Outsiders shirt on and the fans seem very pleased with the idea.

Scott talks about how 1998 has been a bad year for him in and out of the ring. Tonight his old buddy Kevin Nash has a shot at the biggest title in wrestling. The two of them used to ride the roads together and talk about what that would mean. A little while back, Nash told him to prove himself to Big Kev. Hall doesn’t think he should have to do that, but he does have to prove something to himself. 1999 is going to be his year.

Video on Bam Bam Bigelow, who isn’t wrestling tonight either. This transitions into a video on the threeway betweeo Bigelow, Nash and Goldberg. We’re over an hour into this show now and this is the third video on the main event.

Perry Saturn vs. The Cat

This one isn’t so much strange as they’ve been feuding for awhile now, but who in the world wants to see this match? Miller of course has to give his usual speech and Saturn of course jumps him. Cat runs to the floor for some stalling before teasint walking to the back. He tries to slide back in to go after Saturn but falls at Saturn’s feet instead. Now the beating is on but Miller bails to the floor to stall again. Back in and Cat sweeps the leg and chokes a bit as the fans are dying in a hurry.

Saturn can’t hook the Rings so he wrestles Miller down to the mat. That also goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face and walks around a lot. Saturn comes back with a pair of suplexes for two and a swinging neckbreaker for the same. A top rope ax handle misses and Saturn gets kicked in the face for no cover. Back up and Miller kicks him again but asks Sonny Onoo to come in. Sonny kicks Miller by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my day but I will never understand some things about WCW. For one, why in the world did Sonny Onoo keep a job for so long? Miller could at least talk and got decent later on, but why is he getting this spot on this show? At least Saturn won, finally.

Gene brings out Flair to talk because we haven’t wasted enough time yet. Flair says he’s going to beat up Bischoff and lists off what he’s going to do to every body part.

This sets up a LONG video on Bischoff’s history in WCW since the NWO arrived, his abuses of power and his feud with Flair. Again, we’ve already paid for the show so why do we need to get fired up for the matches? This eats up over three minutes and I believe is the exact same video we saw on Nitro.

Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come in and threaten Konnan but Lex Luger makes the save. Luger vs. Steiner was another rumored match for this show like Hall vs. Bigelow.

And now, perhaps the most random wrestling match in the history of pay per view.

Brian Adams/Scott Norton vs. Jerry Flynn/Fit Finlay

During the video, Tony has been given word that the main event will be No DQ. Adams throws Finlay around to start but Fit nails him in the ribs. Off to Norton who snaps off a powerslam on Finlay and a double clothesline to both opponents. Flynn kicks him in the chin and it’s back to Adams to slow things down. Adams kicks him down and stomps away but gets kicked right back, allowing Finlay to come back in and hammer on Brian.

Adams pops back up with a piledriver as the fans are just SILENT. Norton comes back in and cranks on the neck before hitting a splash in the corner. The NWO takes turns on Finlay with the only interesting move being a gorilla press gutbuster from Adams. Fit makes the ice cold tag to Flynn and everything breaks down. Flynn is distracted by Vincent, allowing Norton to powerbomb him in half for the pin.

Rating: S. For Starrcade, not Saturday Night. Get your shows right for your nine minute squashes.

Here’s Bischoff for ANOTHER FREAKING INTERVIEW. Eric says hi to the Clintons and imitates a Bill Clinton speech by saying how profoundly sorry he is for the pain he’s caused the Flair family. He feels sorry for Flair’s heart attack but the reality is Ric has to fight tonight because he can’t save a dime. Flair paid for all those jets and limos but Bischoff got his boss to pay for his limos and jets.

TV Title: Konnan vs. Chris Jericho

Konnan took the title from Jericho in November but Jericho stole the belt itself on Monday. Jericho gets in a few decent jokes about Konnan not keeping his pants up. He also calls himself the man’s regret, every woman’s pet, the man with the voice and the Jericholics’ choice. We’re treated to part of Konnan’s rap video before we’re ready to go.

Feeling out process to start with a shoulder putting the champion down. Konnan comes right back with a seated dropkick but walks into a regular dropkick from Jericho. Chris goes up top but Konnan grabs his own crotch for a distraction. They head outside with Jericho sending Konnan into the barricade to take over. Back in and Chris poses a lot before getting two off a suplex and the Arrogant Cover.

We hit the chinlock on the champion for a bit before Jericho goes up top and dives into the boot. The rolling lariat and a jackknife cover get two on Jericho before Konnan throws him out to the floor. Jericho is sent ribs first into the steps for two but Jericho counters the X Factor into a Liontamer attempt. The referee gets bumped and Jericho hits Konnan with the belt for two. That goes nowhere so Konnan hooks the Tequila Sunrise for the submission to retain.

Rating: D. This felt like they were painting by numbers, going through the motions or whatever other term you prefer for a match that was as basic as you could ask for. Konnan was all talk at this point and the matches just weren’t backing it up at all. Jericho knew he was leaving in 1999 at this point and really didn’t care at all.

Giant is ready for Page tonight and threatens Lee Marshall with violence.

Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff

Bischoff immediately heads to the floor but Flair gets his hands on him against the barricade. The beating is on quickly and they head inside for some choking in the corner. There’s the knee drop to the head and a right hand, which Flair says is for his wife. Ric goes after the knee in the corner but Bischoff gets in a kick to the head that knocks Flair all the way to the floor. He sends Flair into the barricade as Tony gets in the semi-infamous line about how anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a force in that sport.

Flair is busted open as Eric hammers away in the corner. Ric Hulks Up but another kick to the head puts him right back down. It’s nothing that a low blow won’t stop though as Flair takes over. Two more low blows put Eric in the corner and Ric chops away before shoving the referee down. Shattered Dreams has Bischoff screaming and a pair of suplexes make it even worse. The Figure Four goes on but here’s Curt Hennig to nail Flair with an object, giving Bischoff the pin, thereby killing the audience deader than dead. I mean they go SILENT.

Rating: F. For failure. That’s what this match was: a complete failure. This match went against the basic idea of wrestling: the villain runs his mouth and then gets beaten down by the hero at the end of the day. How does this help anyone other than Eric Bischoff? It ticks the fans off, doesn’t make the villain look right, and makes Flair look stupid. That’s fine once in awhile, but it’s the problem for WCW: the hero almost never got his day. It was always a screwjob of some form and the hero was supposed to fight another day. Eventually the fans got tired of waiting though and these moments stopped meaning anything.

As for the match itself, there’s really no logic to it either. Bischoff had WAY too much offense here as a single kick was enough to knock Flair all the way out to the floor. Last year Larry Zbyszko was staggered by some of his kicks but didn’t go out to the floor as a result. The heart attack angle was mentioned in passing by Tony and nothing more, making that almost entirely pointless. But hey, people think Eric Bischoff is a tough guy so everybody is happy right?

We recap Giant vs. Diamond Dallas Page, which is really just an offshoot of Page vs. Hart. Page of course has bad ribs coming in, due to a chokeslam off the stage a few weeks back.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Giant

They spit at each other to start before Page drives in some shoulders. An early Diamond Cutter attempt goes nowhere but Page does clothesline him out to the floor. The offense is short lived though as Giant clotheslines DDP down with ease. A headbutt puts Page into the crowd but he finds a trashcan to blast Giant in the head. Again the advantage is short lived though as Giant whips him into the steps and then the post.

Giant throws him back inside and Page bangs his knee up on the landing. The big man lays on the leg to slow things down as the fans just do not care after the result of the previous match. Page rakes the eyes to escape but gets crushed in the corner to stop his comeback cold. We hit the bearhug as this match is dying right in front of my eyes. Giant plants him with a powerslam but pulls Page up twice in a row. Back to the bearhug for a bit before Giant picks him up for a double choke backbreaker.

Giant still won’t cover though and gets caught in a running DDT to put both guys down. The referee gets bumped as well, drawing out Bret Hart who hits Giant with a chair by mistake. That’s only good for two as Giant easily kicks out. Page scores with a pair of top rope clotheslines, only to dive into a choke. Giant takes him to the corner for the super chokeslam, but Page dives at him into a swinging Diamond Cutter for the pin out of nowhere. Page’s shocked look when he hit it is great.

Rating: C-. The match was boring but the ending helped it a lot. That jumping Diamond Cutter is one of my favorite endings ever in WCW and it still holds up really well. I’m not sure why this wasn’t Page vs. Bret for the title, but to be fair we had seen that match several times before so it was kind of nice to see something new.

Yet another Goldberg vs. Nash video.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Goldberg is defending and it’s No DQ. Nash won the shot by winning World War 3. They’re treating this like it’s a big showdown ala Hogan vs. Warrior in 1990 but it just doesn’t work with these guys. They pose at each other to start with the fans pretty split. A lockup takes both guys into the corner and the referee splits them up. They circle each other some more until Goldberg ducks a right hand and suplexes Nash, sending him out to the floor.

Back in and Nash takes him into the corner for all of his usual stuff but Goldberg just shoves him down. The champion chokes away but Nash tries a freaking cross armbreaker of all things. Goldberg laughs his way out of that and tries his ankle hold, sending Nash to the ropes for another reset. Goldberg knocks Nash to the mat with right hands but gets pulled face first into the middle buckle.

The spear connects out of nowhere but Goldberg can’t pick him up for the Jackhammer. The delay allows Nash to hit him low and both guys are down again. A bad looking side slam gets two for Nash and he hammers in forearms to the back. The swinging neckbreaker puts Nash down again and there’s the superkick for good measure. Goldberg muscles him up into a powerslam for two but here’s Disco Inferno to distract the champion. That goes as well as you would expect so here’s Bigelow to get beaten down as well. Scott Hall of course sneaks in with a tazer to Goldberg’s chest, setting up the Jackknife to give Nash the title.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t the worst thing in the world but it feels like such an anti-climactic way to end the Streak. After all that, it’s an ending that doesn’t make a ton of sense and almost makes Nash look like a heel, even though the fans popped for the ending. I’d assume it’s because it’s a big moment but they still liked Nash no matter what. It felt like a pro-Nash pop rather than an anti-Goldberg one as the fans weren’t booing Goldberg throughout the rest of the match.

Nash isn’t sure what happened. He didn’t see Hall do what he did and Hall was out of there immediately after.

Overall Rating: D-. Where do I even start? While last year’s show was decent with a bad ending, this one was just bad for the last two hours. This show ranged from bad to downright stupid at times, with some of the most random matches I can ever remember seeing on a major pay per view. Consider the following list of people who either didn’t wrestle or appear on the show.

Bret Hart, Scott Steiner, Booker T., Scott Hall, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Lex Luger, Wrath, Bam Bam Bigelow, Kanyon, Raven, Buff Bagwell

All of those guys have gotten significant television time in the weeks leading up to the show, but none of them could get on the card. Instead we had guys like Jerry Flynn, Scott Norton and Prince Iaukea wrestling instead. The opening two matches are good, but there’s really no reason for one midcard story to eat up forty minutes of an under three hour card. That leaves you two hours for six matches, but then they wasted even more time on the constant videos and interviews.

That’s all before the booking of the show. I can understand the Nash move as the streak had to end somewhere. I don’t care for it for the most part, but there could have been far worse ideas for them to go with. Nash winning the title isn’t a stretch as he’s been one of the biggest starts in the company since the day he debuted. Yeah he booked himself to be champion, but at the end of the day it’s not like Glacier just broke Goldberg’s streak.

Then there’s the white elephant in the room. I really don’t know how you can argue that Bischoff should have gone over Flair no matter how you look at it. That should have been the biggest layup of the year but instead it’s the exact opposite of what it should have been. Yeah things would change in the near future, but the idea of getting the win later doesn’t matter. It should have been at Starrcade with the two having been built up for months. Instead it made Bischoff look good with Flair coming off like a raging lunatic that can’t get the easiest win in the world anymore.

Overall the show was only a step above a disaster. The worst part is that it wasn’t even all that bad, but it was painfully dull. Most of these matches just don’t line up with the stories they’ve been showing on television and it feels like we’re supposed to get to the big show later on. It’s not even that the show is bad, but it just doesn’t work at all, save for two pretty meaningless matches to open the show.

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Fall Brawl 1994: Bye Mick. I’m Sure You’ll Never Do Anything Important.

Fall Brawl 1994
Date: September 18, 1994
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

So Hogan is world champion and he’s nowhere to be found on the card tonight and neither is Flair. This was around the time that Hogan figured out he barely had to wrestle anymore but he would get paid the same thing anyway, so that’s just what he did. Yes, the main event tonight is the Stud Stable vs. The Rhodes Family and the Nasty Boys. Let that sink in for a minute.

The NASTY BOYS are in the main event tonight. This is a great example of why people hate Hogan, right here. Hogan wins the world title and isn’t even on the 2nd PPV. That’s kind of sad. Other than that there’s not much here as this was about War Games, so let’s get to my first review of the best gimmick match of all time.  Let’s get to it.

The intro video is this beyond stupid thing that looks like it comes from a bad SNES game. The voiceover guy says two titles are on the line tonight before listing off three title matches. This isn’t going to go well is it? I’ve always loved the double ring set as it just worked so well. ANOTHER country singer named Martin Del Ray sings the national anthem.

Wikipedia has never heard of him. It’s stuff like this that makes WCW look completely stupid and like a hick company. Oh and there’s an interview with Hogan and Flair, both of which are on satellite. This gets booed out of the building. Steamboat is hurt too so he’s not wrestling tonight.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steve Regal

Badd is billed as the prettiest man in WCW. That tells you everything you need to know about him. This is a rematch from last time where Regal won clean, so naturally this should be a rematch. In a show that’s supposed to be about war, Badd launches confetti everywhere. This is already making my head hurt. Regal has one of those white wigs that you see in bad comedy sketches.

We’re 8 minutes into the broadcast and the bell hasn’t rung yet. There are two rings but they can only fight in one, as I guess inside the ring is considered outside the ring or something like that. Apparently this is happening because Badd hit Regal’s manager. Badd tries to chain wrestle with Regal. Guess what happens. They actually talk about American history as a reason why Regal isn’t liked.

WCW just didn’t have a clue at times and it’s relatively funny how bad they are at building characters and storylines. Regal’s manager, William, looks like a short Honky Tonk Man. Badd tries to cross body that Tony calls a high risk swan dive. REALLY??? I’ve never seen anyone that can chain wrestle like Regal. For those of you unsure of what I mean, it’s wrestling where you never break contact with the other guy.

It usually starts with a wristlock and then you move from there. We see a guy with a bullhorn that keeps yelling at Badd. He would eventually become known as Blacktop Bully, but he’s more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man. He was somehow more annoying in this gimmick than he was in the others if that’s possible. Johnny shoves his hips into Regal’s crotch to break a hold. Make your own jokes. Badd starts his comeback and of course it sucks.

They try to do the same finish from last month but it doesn’t work. A few near falls later and Badd wins with a BACKSLIDE. Of course they do this instead of on the very hot rollup where they had the crowd on their side. That’s just dumb but whatever. They say this is his first major title. This makes me wonder: what’s a minor title in WCW?

Rating: C-. And most of that is from Regal’s chain wrestling. I just never liked Johnny’s in ring stuff. It wasn’t interesting at all and was boring to boot. This wasn’t anything interesting and the ending was just freaking stupid but whatever. That’s just the way WCW did things. The match was ok but ran a bit long. Not a great opener though.

The fans want Flair, but we can’t have him here because that would make sense and since it’s Flair country he would get a big pop so instead we scrwe the fans over to protect Hogan.

We get a clip from Clash of the Champions where we see Hogan get jumped by the Masked Man, who became Beefcake, which was the main event of Starrcade, the biggest show of the year. Hogan limped to the ring and fought Flair anyway, We get clips of the match which go on WAY too long.

Flair won by count out but we don’t see that because the Fuehrer couldn’t be protected that way. Gene Okerlund says he was on G. Gordon Liddy’s talk show this weekend, and they actually try to turn this into some political thing. I am in awe of the stupidity here.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Cactus Jack

The announcer says it’s Loser Leaves WCW and then explains that the stipulation is that the loser leaves WCW. WOW. Yeah this Foley guy has no future here so he needs to move on. That’s Hogan’s idea at least. Again, another young guy with talent that’s over has no place at all in Hogan’s company, no sir. We can’t have young talent here that could show up Hogan. Give me a break.

We don’t actually go to the ring first but rather out into the crowd. This is really just a fight instead of a match which is what makes sense. Foley had recently lost his ear in a match with Vader in Germany which was never turned into a story like Foley wanted to. According to Foley in his book, WCW didn’t want to push a hot feud that the fans were into and good matches were being produced from. That just can’t happen.

Jack throws in a chair but nothing comes of it. This is all Jack selling and Sullivan trying desperately to convince a single person that he has talent. Dave, Kevin’s brother, keeps Cactus from using a chair. Kevin tries to use one also and Dave stops him.

Cactus rams into him on the apron which for some reason knocks him down long enough for a pin. Off to ECW and credibility Jack, even though you were very over in WCW and getting more and more respect every day and having good matches. We have no need to that pesky talent thing.

Rating: D+. This was all Cactus here as he made Sullivan look good, thereby proving that he was awesome. Again, let me make this clear: Mick Foley, 4 time world champion and surefire Hall of Fame wrestler, was thrown out in favor of the Taskmaster. Let that sink in for a minute and tell me Hogan isn’t hurting this company in the long run.

Gene is with the Stud Stable where he says there is no tomorrow after tonight. Yeah no tomorrow except for Halloween Havoc where all these feuds continued anyway. Funk volunteers to go in first. He’s freaking insane. For some reason Meng is out and Parker, the manager, is in. How did they rope Arn Anderson into this? Apparently this is about reaching into someone’s manhood. I’ll leave that one alone.

The announcers say this is Steamboat’s 2nd title reign, despite at SuperBrawl II that he was a four time champion. The NWA stepped in and declared that the titles were different or something, even though here they say that the first title reign was in the early 80s. Why can’t wrestling companies keep their stories straight or even close to straight? Is it really that hard?

Austin and Steamboat come out but Steamboat is hurt so he has to give up the title. They know this but list his weight and hometown anyway. Penzer says “And now ladies and gentlemen, WCW Commissioner Nick Bockwinkle as current United States Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat makes his way into the ring.” He says the whole thing. Did the company just think we were that stupid or something?

They strip the title from Steamboat and Austin is the new champion. Austin is cracking me up as Steamboat makes a short speech. Austin has his voice now and a lot of his mannerisms, even throwing in insults and swearing. Yeah he’s unmarketable as a guy in black tights and cursing a lot.

Bockwinkle says there’s a title match anyway and he has to defend against the #1 contender. Penzer doesn’t know who it is, yet he knows where he’s from and his weight. GREAT one there guys.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. ???

And it’s Jim Duggan. Yes, the same Jim Duggan that hadn’t been seen in over a year. Yes, the same Jim Duggan that won what, four matches EVER? Yes, the same Jim Duggan that apparently is number one contender despite NEVER WRESTLING HERE BEFORE. This is apparently a big deal.

Why it’s a big deal is beyond me but whatever. The bell rings three separate times so I guess we had two matches but whatever. Austin tries to run because this is terrifying or something I guess. Here’s the match: Backdrop, splash, pin. It’s an 8 second match which is called 27 for no apparent reason.

Rating: H. That’s for Hogan as that’s the only reason behind this at all. So let’s see. Steamboat is gone, Cactus is gone, and Austin looks like a joke. In their places we have Kevin Sullivan, Jim Duggan and Paul Orndorff later in the night, who had one good arm mind you.

All of these men were at least in their mid thirties, while Foley was I think late 20s, Austin was early 30s and Steamboat could still wrestle better than 90% of the wrestlers in the world, and I mean that from around the time of Mania 25 so you know how good he was here.

In other words, we got rid of the most talented guys on the card and instead have old guys that were never that good in the first place. In other words, out with all the guys that could steal the show from Hogan and in with guys he’s always been better then. In other words, screw  the rest of the company, it’s all about Hogan.

Oh and pay no attention to the promo Duggan has after the match where he just HAS to talk about Hogan and the name gets booed out of the freaking building. The fans are just confused. Yeah, confused. We’ll go with that.

Duggan was sweating after that match. Oh give me a break.

Tag Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Stars N Stripes

We see Barry Darsow AGAIN but this time he’s being thrown out. Seriously, Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma are the tag champions and it’s 1994. Let that sink in for a bit. Bagwell shakes hands with Penzer. I kind of like that for some reason. It’s nice if nothing else. What the heck happened to this kid? He became the biggest jerk I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen my share of big jerks.

The Patriot apparently changed houses between this and Halloween Havoc as he’s billed as from DC here and South Carolina next time. Roma and Orndorff are reminding me of Billy and Chuck. They actually call the previous sham a match. I’ve heard it all now. Other than Admin KB, but I think that could come this year. Stars N Stripes beat the champions in a non title match to set this up. They make fun of the WWF and say these are wrestlers and not bodybuilders.

Keep in mind that Bagwell would become Buff Bagwell in a few years and Orndorff was Mr. Wonderful for his muscles. And yeah you guessed it, the match sucks. Nothing at all of note goes on here as it’s just four guys with no heat having a tag team match. Thankfully it’s shorter than their rematch next month.

Yes, Orndorff and Roma got to fight on PPV again, but as challengers where they won the belts again. Anyway, this is just boring so far. Orndorff dumps a cooler with soda and ice onto Bagwell for no apparent reason and miscommunication between the faces ends this.

Rating: D+. Now remember, Regal and Austin lost their titles tonight, but Roma and Orndorff keep theirs. Let that sink in a bit. To further the pure stupidity of this company, these teams fought again SIX DAYS LATER and the faces won the belts, which they held until October, only to lose them back to Paul and Paul, before Stars N Stripes won them AGAIN, before losing them to Harlem Heat for their first reign. Did Orndorff save Hogan from drowning in cocaine or something once?

We go to the face team for the main event and Gene says they should go golfing. What do I even say to that? I see why they never let Sags talk. Dustin Rhodes says that Arn Anderson and Funk will never amount to anything. WOW. Ok, there’s trying to get heat and there’s stupidity. We get reference to Dusty’s other son named Cody. Yes it’s that Cody Rhodes. Apparently Dusty is friends with Woody Harrelson. That came from nowhere.

We recap the triangle match which was Sting vs. Vader vs. Boss Man (Guardian Angel). They point out that Sting and Boss Man have no history at all but they’re in here because neither likes Vader. This is for the #1 contendership.

Sting vs. Vader vs. Guardian Angel

Now this isn’t your traditional match as WCW had to find a way to suck the life out of this one too. Their solution here: you have two in the ring at once and the other stays on the apron until he’s tagged in and it’s elimination rules. At Starrcade 95 they managed to make it even DUMBER by taking out the elimination rules, meaning there was ZERO incentive to tag at all. Seriously, how hard is it to mess up a freaking triple threat?

It’s three guys fighting at once. Elimination doesn’t have to be there but whatever. This is just stupid though. Sting gets a freaking ROAR but remember, even though Hogan was booed out of the building, he’s still far more popular. Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Wait, it’s not even tagging?

Ok, this is how it actually works: Each has a coin and they all flip, odd man out gets a bye. So we have Guardian Angel vs. Vader and the winner gets Sting. HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS THEY MANAGED TO SCREW THIS UP EVEN WORSE!!! How did they screw this up even worse??? Ok then, in that case.

Vader vs. Guardian Angel

I simply can’t understand this. WOW. Ok, this is what they actually say the rules are. This is 15 minutes but if that runs out, we have 5 minutes of overtime. If that passes, THE FIRST MAN KNOCKED DOWN LOSES. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I am sitting here in awe at this. They have screwed this match up so much I’m amazed. First man down loses??? SERIOUSLY???

Were they so scared to just do something new that could be entertaining and therefore show up Hogan they sat around and came up with the most convoluted plan they could? We saw these two fight this month, the month before and the month after this, because we figure if you see it enough you’ll hate both guys and you’ll think Hogan is better because he doesn’t wrestle as often so you won’t hate him as much.

Why does this sequence seem so familiar? Probably because they’ve done it before. As usual it’s slow and lumbering and not that good but whatever. Since there is zero chance of Boss Man winning, we get Sting vs. Vader in a bit. The slam hits and it gets an ok pop. It would have been better if they hadn’t done it a few weeks ago. And there goes the referee, just in time for the Boss Man Slam. A Vader Bomb hits and that gets the three after Race interferes.

Rating: D+. The rules of this blow my mind still, but this was boring. It was the same thing they would do on two other PPVs but they did it better there. However, it does set this up.

Sting vs. Vader

They simply can’t mess this up can they? The thirty second rest period is of course about two minutes long. Sting actually comes out again instead of sitting at ringside. Oh come the heck on. Vader puts his mask back on for no apparent reason. I like Sting’s paint job as it looks different for some reason. I think it’s the color. They do their standard stuff as Vader beats on Sting but Sting hits a few shots to come back before being beaten down again.

The crowd of course buys every freaking bit of it though. This of course takes twelve minutes, but it’s still entertaining. These two are just fun to watch. Vader Sault misses and we begin the time countdown. Oh no way you have got to be kidding me. They act like this match hasn’t happened before. We switch rings for no apparent reason. Sting hits a nice splash from the top for two. We hit two minutes and I keep waiting on the ending to be set up as they can’t mess this up somehow.

Sting catches Vader in a nice powerslam off the top. Naturally the fans are freaking out over it so we have to screw it up. Race pulls the referee out to stop a pin and Sting hooks the Scorpion almost as the time goes out. We stop the match to announce that we’re going to keep going, meaning THERE IS NO POINT TO FREAKING OVERTIME. Tony says it’s humane to give them a rest.

I’m in awe of the awfulness of this. Vader dominates and WE GET ANOTHER COUNTDOWN! Unbelievably, we get to the time limit with Vader hitting the powerbomb and getting to two with the bell going off. To my complete and utter amazement, they actually do first knockdown wins. Somehow this has become a sumo match. Vader just destroys Sting but he of course comes back.

For ZERO reason, Boss Man comes back and gets Race as Vader goes down. The Masked Man comes out to hit Sting as Vader gets up. So in other words, a shot to the shoulder puts Sting down but about 12 shots to the freaking head didn’t. The announcement goes as follows: “The referee has raised Vader’s hand, meaning he is the winner.” Is this like Play School wrestling?

Rating: -F-. This has gone below F- and past all the negative grades to get here. The wrestling was fine, but the booking is without a doubt the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in wrestling. Ok, think about this. We have three people. They call it a triangle match, but instead of a three way dance which ECW had already done so it’s not like it was unheard of, they have two matches, the first of which has no importance.

Also, if you’re going to book the ending that way, which is fine I guess, why not just DO A NORMAL MATCH??? I mean seriously, 15 minutes then OVERTIME then first to go down loses? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MINDS??? YOU HAVE VADER VS. STING AND YOU MANAGED TO SCREW IT UP. HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO THAT??? I am completely in awe of this and amazed that a wrestling company could mess something up so badly.

As for the wrestling itself and booking aside, call that a B+ as like I said, it’s Sting and Vader for over twenty minutes. That’s like a recipe for making gold. Oh and Vader didn’t get his shot for about 8 months.

To further the complete and utter stupidity, we have the “showdown” with Flair and Hogan. We get a “live” shot of them in Venice Beach and Las Vegas where Flair has the big gold belt and Hogan is in a gym. They actually hold phones while doing this.

This goes on over ten minutes as I continue to be in awe that someone made money off of this. I mean just freaking WOW. The fans boo the heck out of Hogan and cheer Flair to no end, but that didn’t actually happen because no one could boo Hogan remember?

Bockwinkle comes out and makes a match, career vs. career and title at Halloween Havoc. The fans are bored out of their freaking minds here. Now all of this is fine with Gene who is doing the interview. Bockwinkle announces that it’s a cage match. That isn’t that astounding is it?

Last time it was a regular match, now there’s a gimmick. Gene’s word for word response: “What are you smoking man???” He actually said that. We’ll ignore the idiocy of having a cage match end tonight’s PPV and then next month’s also for the sake of time and my sanity.

And now we have to do the freaking main event which Michael Buffer has to make sound interesting. Let’s do it.

We see the clip from Saturday Night where Parker, a manager, is told that he’s in the match and Meng, who was a completely unstoppable monster, is out. It’s rather funny actually as Parker is funnier than I remember.

We see the clip of Anderson turning on Dustin to the shock of no one and then Dusty saying he wants to be Dustin’s partner. You know, AFTER his son got his head kicked in. After Dusty asks for a hug and a kiss, the Stud Stable and Meng run in to break it up.

Dusty pauses and goes to the floor to get a wooden chair which he breaks over Meng’s head which gets no response. It was FAR better in I think 86 when he did it to Big Bubba and Bubba just adjusted his tie. Now we see the Nasties being recruited to the main event, which I’m sure Hogan had nothing to do with at all.

War Games: Stud Stable vs. Team Rhodes

Stud Stable: Robert Parker, Bunkhouse Buck, Terry Funk, Arn Anderson
Team Rhodes: Dustin Rhodes, Dusty Rhodes, Nasty Boys

So yeah, Dusty Rhodes is in the main event as are the Nasty Boys and Bunkhouse Buck and a manager. We can’t have Sting or Vader or someone interesting in there. Arn Anderson is the biggest star at the current time in there. For those of you that haven’t ever seen one of these, here are the rules. We start with one guy from each team and they fight for five minutes.

Keep in mind that it’s two rings and one cage over the whole thing mind you. After the five minutes are up, we have a coin toss which the heels literally never lost. Whoever wins (the heels) send in their second man and that team has a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After the two minutes are up, the team that lost the toss sends in its second man to make it 2-2 for two minutes.

After that two minutes, it goes to 3-2 and alternates back and forth for two minutes each until everyone is in. Then and only then can you win the match and only by submission. In other words, you’re guaranteed seventeen minutes passing by before the match can actually end. This gimmick is by far and away my all time favorite and it really is a huge deal. Thankfully Dusty has a shirt on.

When the Nasty Boys name graphic comes up we see Dustin Rhodes. Nice one guys. Oh and Dusty is team captain despite not wrestling in years. We start with Dustin and Arn, who are the only two of reasonable age with talent so that’s the best choice I guess. They actually have a cameraman in the cage. I like that. Arn does the same spot he always does of having his head put between the rings.

They start off fairly generic as most of these matches did. Dustin gets a nice jump over both sets of ropes from one ring to another. Nice spot. You can see that in reality the heels lost the coin toss as they call tails and after the referee loses the quarter that it comes up tails but the heels win. Bunkhouse Buck comes in to make it 2-1.

Good night this is boring so far. And since Dusty wouldn’t book himself anything but last to save his fat life the savior is a Nasty Boy. That just doesn’t blow my skirt up. The heels put on a double Boston Crab because that sells PPVs blast it. Jerry Sags ties it up. I can’t believe this is actually main eventing a PPV. The crowd is hot which stuns me. Oh looks it’s a sleeper.

Given the four guys left it’s pretty simple who goes in next for each team. Funk tries to throw a chair in but forgets there’s a roof. Funk is in and it’s 3-2. He hits people with his boot that he removed. Funk falls down through the rings and hits the floor, which means he could just crawl out under the ring but whatever. Of course Knobbs is next to tie us up. Brian Knobbs is making the save. How in the world does this make sense?

Oh Dusty has a shirt that says Nasty Dream. Parker is the only entertaining thing here and I usually can’t stand him. I wonder what they would do to him if he didn’t go in. There are no DQs remember. He finally gets in and hurts his hand throwing a punch. Dustin has a belt from somewhere. Everyone is just waiting around for Dusty to get in and take all the glory.

It was so painfully obvious that he would be the one getting the win because his name is Dusty Rhodes and he could rival Hogan as far as ego went. Of course he can fight off all three heel wrestlers with no issue. Heenan calls him a Brahma Bull which is amusing to me.

About 40 seconds after he gets in he puts a figure four that completely sucks on Parker and the Nastys drop about 30 elbows on him for the submission. How Dustin is able to fight off all three guys isn’t answered but whatever. DUSTY REIGNS! That ends the show.

Rating: D+. They managed to screw up War Games. That’s just freaking impressive. Seriously, look at these people and realize that it’s 1994. That sums up the whole issue with this. If it were 1987 this would have been fine but get with the times people. Dusty and the Nastys? REALLY? Anyone that wants to try to convince me that this wasn’t Hogan’s doing, let me know.

Overall Rating: D. Just one thing: what were they thinking? The answer: Hogan. I mean really, there is no way that this show was considered the best they could do. Dusty and the Nastys in the main event, Austin getting squashed, Sullivan goes over, and Pretty Wonderful keeps the tag belts.

This is just freaking stupid, but hey, we have Flair losing again next month and a masked man running around, so everything’s copacetic right? It has to be. Hogan is here and will save us from any and all evil. Avoid this one for your own sanity.

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World War 3 1998: WCW Needs A Nap

World War 3 1998
Date: November 22, 1998
Location: The Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,670
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This is one of those shows that has only been hyped for the last week or so leading up to it. The main events here are Bret Hart vs. DDP for the US Title and the three ring battle royal, which I don’t remember any wrestler actually talking about so far. The winner gets a World Title shot at Starrcade against Goldberg, because Goldberg isn’t even in action tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a typical video focusing on the two main matches without saying anything. WCW never put a ton of effort into these things.

We see Goldberg arriving “earlier today”, despite it being pitch black outside.

The announcers tell us that Hollywood Hogan isn’t here. This is shocking as Hogan just started the big President angle on Monday.

Gene hypes up the Hotline, saying we can hear Heenan’s recorded message of who he thinks will win tonight.

Wrath vs. Glacier

Unannounced match. Tony does a good job of hyping up Wrath’s hot streak and make him sound like a killer. We even hear a bit about their history as Tony is actually thinking tonight. That gets messed up very quickly though as he names picks the middle ring as Ring #1. Glacier is thrown to the floor with ease and the stalling begins. Back in and Wrath no sells a dropkick before hitting a hard knee to send Glacier to the floor.

Another whip sends Glacier into the crowd and Wrath chops away at the chest. Heenan picks Wrath to win the battle royal tonight to start the running joke. Actually Wrath wouldn’t have been the worst option in the world to make a run in there. Tenay says Hollywood is catching on to Wrath and he’s up for roles in movies. They really are making him out to be a big deal.

Back in and some hard elbows to the chest have Glacier in trouble as Heenan lists off reasons why Wrath’s body is perfect for wrestling. A hard clothesline drops Glacier for two and even throws his feet on the ropes for some extra leverage. Outside again so Wrath can choke Glacier with a cable. Back in one more time and we hit the chinlock on Glacier. Wrath misses a charge into the corner and gets superkicked in the shoulder. Glacier’s Ice Pick hold (thumb into the neck) is easily blocked and the Meltdown ends things.

Rating: D. This would have been a good choice for an opening match if they hadn’t taken so long with it. There’s no reason to have Wrath take nearly ten minutes to beat Glacier. Cut this match down by about five minutes and things are so much better. I’ll give them credit for how much they hyped Wrath though. They were treating him like a huge deal and it sounded really good.

Video on Bret injuring a lot of people. It’s all their fault though. Why this is filmed in front of a hockey goal isn’t exactly clear.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

Unannounced match #2. It’s a posedown to start as the announcers rip on Stevie for calling himself the Enforcer. Ray pounds Konnan down in the corner twice in a row but Konnan comes back with a running clothesline. We hit a seated abdominal stretch less than two minutes into the match as Heenan jumps to Konnan for the battle royal. Stevie fights up and hits an awful looking clothesline for two before we head outside.

After some cheap shots from Vincent and a discussion of the slapjack sticking out of his pocket, we head back inside for a chinlock on Konnan. Stevie misses a running elbow and Konnan makes his comeback with the usual. A Vincent distraction works for a bit but he accidentally hits Stevie with the slapjack. Konnan hammers on Stevie until the DQ though in a stupid ending.

Rating: D. We’re half an hour into this show and I’m already longing for a Thunder rerun. I have no idea why we couldn’t get a pin before Konnan went off on Stevie. Also, why did Konnan do that in the first place? It was a normal match up until that point and then he just went nuts.

Booker T. immediately hits the ring for the save but Stevie wants nothing from him.

Sonny Onoo/The Cat vs. Kaz Hayashi/Saturn

Why Saturn was paired with Hayashi and why this match is getting ANY kind of focus was never explained. Heenan makes things a bit more interesting by saying people are talking about World War 3 in correctional facilities around the country. There’s actually a story here as Sonny used to manager Kaz but jumped to the Cat. That’s fine in theory, but Hayashi has never been anything more than a low level guy in WCW so it’s not the most interesting story in the world.

Cat and Hayashi get things going with Miller (Cat) doing the five seconds deal. Hayashi uses the time to tag in Saturn who quickly sends Miller running to the floor. Back in and Cat slams Kaz down a few times before it’s off to Sonny for the first time. The kicks have no effect so Sonny offers money, only to have it knocked out of his hands. Heenan: “BE RIGHT BACK!”

Off to Saturn vs. Miller with the Cat taking him into the corner for some hard stomping. Sonny comes in, kicks Saturn once, and is right back out. Saturn takes Miller down with an STF attempt but it’s quickly back to Kaz who is kicked in the corner by both villains. Cat saves Sonny from an atomic drop with a kick to the back of the head. Kaz rolls away from some Onoo chops and makes the tag off to Saturn for almost no reaction. Saturn chops and suplexes Miller a few times as everything breaks down. Cat nails a big kick to Saturn’s head, allowing Sonny to fall on top for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of why WCW never made any big stars. Saturn was hot after the Raven feud and should have gone after a title, but instead he’s thrown into a low level feud that had no interest at all and gets to job to a manager. Why? What good comes out of this? A worthless manager gets to brag in the two minutes of TV time he gets every two weeks? But hey, at least the NWO guys get to look good.

Chris Jericho isn’t worried about Bobby Duncum and getting hogtied again tonight. Why is Duncum getting this feud instead of Saturn?

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera Jr.

Champion Juvy comes out in an LWO shirt, which ticks Rey off. Apparently this is why he got the title shot last Monday instead of Rey, who won the title shot in the first about ten days ago on Thunder. Eddie tells Rey that they need to go in the back so Eddie can explain the idea of sacrificing the needs of one for the needs of the group. At least the match almost has to be better.

Juvy grabs a headlock to start before they slug it out with forearms and chops. Guerrera comes right back with something resembling a Fameasser but stops to pose on the ropes. Kidman comes back with a suplex and a slingshot legdrop for two of his own but Juvy nails him with an Alabama Slam for two. We hit the chinlock for all of eight seconds on Kidman before he explodes out of the corner with a clothesline.

Guerrera hits a Stunner across the top rope but gets dropkicked out of the air for two. A nice plancha to the floor takes Juvy out again and they both get up slowly. Juvy is up first though and tries a springboard hurricanrana, only to land on the apron instead of the floor in a bad looking botch. Back in and Guerrera nails a brainbuster for two before knocking him to the floor with a springboard missile dropkick. The champion hits a springboard plancha of his own and both guys are down again.

Back in again and a guillotine legdrop gets two on Kidman before they head over into another ring. Juvy lands a double springboard into the other ring into a dropkick (which landed low) for two, which really shouldn’t count when you think about it. Kidman misses a charge into the corner but is able to crotch Juvy to break up a 450 attempt. A bad looking headscissors (the legs wound up under Juvy’s arms) brings them back into the original ring and a springboard cross body gets two for Kidman.

Juvy backdrops him into the only ring they haven’t been in yet and nails a hurricanrana for two. The Juvy Driver connects but Juvy can’t cover. The 450 doesn’t work but Juvy counters the lifting powerbomb into a hurricanrana for two. A wheelbarrow suplex looks to set up the Shooting Star but Juvy crotches Kidman down. Juvy loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Mysterio holds Kidman’s belt to keep him on the top. The Shooting Star is enough to get the title back on Kidman.

Rating: C. The match was watchable but it’s the definition of a spot fest. There’s almost no transition between the moves and the spots took a good amount of time to set up. Still though, it’s FAR better than anything else we’ve seen tonight and the spots woke up the bored crowd a little bit.

Eddie and the LWO come out and yell at Rey. Guerrero says make a decision if you’re in or out and Mysterio rips the shirt off. The chase is on and Rey runs away from about ten guys at once. So let’s recap here for a minute. Ten days ago, Rey won a Cruiserweight Title shot against Kidman which he still hasn’t received and was hated by Eddie for not joining the LWO. Now it’s ten days later and Rey has a Cruiserweight Title shot against Kidman and Eddie hates him for leaving the LWO. I’d so glad WCW used the last ten days so wisely.

We recap Kevin Nash not attacking Scott Hall on Nitro.

Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner

I’ll put the over/under for this one at 90 seconds. Buff and the NWO referee are out with Scott. And there’s no Rick. We cut to the back to see the NWO attacking Rick until Giant carries him to the ring. Scott beats on him for a bit until Goldberg runs out for the save and throws the referee from one ring to another.

I’d LOVE the explanation for why these two weren’t allowed to fight, even in their home state of Michigan. There was no bell so the match never even started. This would be three months of teasing this and the longest we’ve gotten so far is about five minutes ending with the fake Bagwell injury. It’s as basic of a story as you can ask for but for some reason they just never did it. That’s something that drove me crazy in WCW and it wasn’t just this match. Page vs. Hogan never had a big singles match, even though it easily could have headlined a PPV.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

The same NWO guys that attacked Rick are here with Hall. Bischoff comes out and does the survey, saying that Hall is out of the NWO. The beatdown is on and here’s Nash for the save. Heenan: “This reminds me of the Outsiders!” In one of the only emotional moments you’ll ever see in WCW, the fans LOUDLY chant for the Outsiders. Hall holds up the Wolfpack sign but Nash shakes his head and walks away.

To recap, we had time for a Kaz Hayashi match and a Stevie Ray match, but the Steiners and Outsiders exploding couldn’t have real matches. Good to see those priorities being straight WCW.

The announcers talk about what we’ve just seen. So we can have the segments and the recaps, but not the actual matches? Again, I would love an explanation for this.

TV Title: Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

This is Duncum’s second match in WCW and I have no idea why he’s getting this spot instead of a ton of the talented guys they have on the roster. Duncum isn’t even that bad but he just doesn’t need to be in this spot yet. As I said, have Hayashi ask him to be the partner (since we NEEDED that Kaz Hayashi match) and give Saturn this spot. Duncum does have an awesome look. He’d get a job in a heartbeat in today’s WWE if he were still around.

Jericho is quickly shoved to the mat and out to the floor for a hug from Ralphus. Back in and Jericho takes him down as the announcers talk about Hogan and something being up with the NWO. Heenan asks if Hall is still a member of the NWO. Tony: “Of course not!” Heenan: “Why not? They put thirteen stitches in Horace’s head and gave him a t-shirt.” Tony: “Uh……”.

Duncum takes Jericho down and puts on a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. Back up and they awkwardly collide before heading outside. Jericho hits a clothesline off the barricade followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two. We hit the chinlock from the champion now but Bobby comes back with a shoulder breaker for two of his own. A hot shot sends Duncum across the top rope and a springboard dropkick knocks him into the barricade.

Jericho whips him into the steps and puts on a front facelock back inside. A running clothesline gets two on the champion and he launches Jericho into the air for a big crash. They trade clotheslines and the Lionsault gets two for the champion but Duncum comes back with a belly to back superplex for another near fall. The Liontamer is countered and Bobby hits a Vader Bomb elbow drop for two more. Ralphus offers a distraction, allowing Jericho to hit Bobby (and clearly the referee as well) with the belt for the pin.

Rating: C. This was getting good until the lame ending. The match wasn’t bad for the most part but like I said, there was just no reason for Duncum to be in there. I’m not entirely sure why Duncum never did anything in WCW, but I’d assume it had something to do with him having a good look, size and skill in the ring.

World War 3

Chris Adams, Chris Benoit, Bobby Blaze, Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, Barry Darsow, The Disciple, Disco Inferno, Bobby Duncum, Jr., Bobby Eaton, Mike Enos, Scott Hall, Héctor Garza, The Giant, Glacier, Juventud Guerrera, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., Eddy Guerrero, Hammer, Kenny Kaos, Kaz Hayashi, Horace Hogan, Barry Horowitz, Prince Iaukea, Chris Jericho, Kanyon

Billy Kidman, Konnan, Lenny Lane, Lex Luger, Scott Hall, Lizmark, Jr., Lodi, Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael, Ernest Miller, Chip Minton, Rey Mysterio, Jr., Kevin Nash, Scott Norton, La Parka, Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, Psychosis, Scott Putski, Stevie Ray, The Renegade, Scotty Riggs, Perry Saturn, Silver King, Norman Smiley, Scott Steiner, Super Caló, Johnny Swinger, Booker T, Tokyo Magnum, Villano V, Vincent, Kendall Windham, Wrath and Alex Wright

Those names are in alphabetical order and the wrestlers are randomly assorted into the rings. Three rings, twenty men per ring, you can be eliminated by being thrown out of the ring through any ropes, pin or submission. You know, because a BATTLE ROYAL needed to have its rules altered. Once they get down to twenty men they’ll all be moved into one ring for the final showdown. The entrances take a LONG time as you would expect and Heenan changes his pick to Benoit.

There’s a very good chance I’m going to miss some of the eliminations as they’re only showing one ring at a time. There is however a counter on screen to keep things a bit more organized. We almost immediately get confused as WCW calls the far right ring #3 after Tony has called the middle ring #1 all night. Kevin Nash starts firing out people very early, eliminating Norman Smiley, Super Calo, Lizmark Jr., Scott Putski, and some others that the camera miss. Lenny Lane, Tokyo Magnum and Johnny Swinger are all out. Nash dumps El Dandy and we’re already down to 44.

Van Hammer baseball slides Mike Enos out but gets caught by some knees in the ribs from Big Sexy. They’re the only two men left in ring #3 and Hammer is tossed very soon, leaving us with Nash alone in ring #3 and 39 people left. That’s one less ring to have to jump to at least. We miss three more eliminations until we see Hall hit the fall away slam to eliminate Psychosis. Things are already calming down as Kanyon crotches himself on the top, allowing Kidman to throw him out.

Kaz Hayashi is out as well as Harlem Heat shrugs at each other. Giant shoves out Horace and Disciple to get us down to 30. A big group of guys go after Giant but all six of them can’t get him down. He says bring it on and it’s Disco Inferno wanting to run things. Benoit will have none of that and goes after Inferno instead. 27 left now with ring #2 having far more people in there. We miss yet another elimination and we’re somehow at 24. Scott Steiner dumps Juvy before putting Konnan in a leg lock. 21 to go until Rey misses a baseball slide to eliminate himself and get us down to the final twenty.

The final grouping is Nash, Benoit, Saturn, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Eddie Guerrero, Giant, Disco Inferno, Norton, Konnan, Luger, Hall, Booker T., Scott Steiner, Wrath, Malenko, Wright, Kidman, Miller, Ray and McMichael. Miller and Saturn get in a fight before everyone is in the ring and go outside to eliminate both guys and get us down to 18. The NWOs are in different corners while everyone else fight. Chavo hits a running cross body to Wright and both guys are out to drop the number to 16.

Kidman dropkicks Eddie out and Giant throws both Kidman and Disco out to get us to 13. Nash and Giant go at it to a BIG reaction but Scott Steiner picks Nash off to give Giant a break. Giant accidentally chops Norton and Steiner actually puts Mongo in a chinlock. Tony sums up WCW in a nutshell by saying Booker T. and Wrath are the only unaffiliated men in the ring. Apparently WCW doesn’t exist and the Horsemen are a separate entity anymore.

We go to a nice camera shot looking down at the ring (at an angle, not directly overhead) which I hope they stick with for the rest of the match. Naturally it’s gone before I can finish typing that sentence. Nash and Giant go at it again to another big pop and this time Hall helps Nash out to really get the crowd into it. Norton saves Giant from an elimination attempt as Luger dumps Stevie Ray. Mongo backdrops Norton out but Nash dumps him as well to get us down to 10.

The final ten are Giant, Nash, Wrath, Booker T., Benoit, Konnan, Hall, Malenko, Steiner and Luger. The count goes down to 9 without an elimination as Bam Bam Bigelow comes in through the crowd. Everyone goes after him to knock him back to the floor and the fans chant for Goldberg. They get what they want as Goldberg runs out for the fight. The match has completely stopped to watch the fight.

We come back to the ring to see 8 left. Tony thinks Steiner was thrown out but needs to wait for a confirmation. The idea of looking around the ring and not seeing Scott Steiner is too complicated for a guy like Schiavone I guess. We go to the shot looking down on the ring again and see Benoit, Malenko, Booker T., Nash, Giant, Luger, Konnan and Hall remaining. Goldberg and Bigelow are finally pulled apart and Bigelow is handcuffed.

Booker is quickly tossed out as everyone circles Giant. He says bring it on as Tony says Konnan, Nash and Luger are the only two members of the Wolfpack remaining. I get that he says some stupid stuff but he can’t even count? Giant shrugs everyone off as Konnan misses a charge and eliminates himself. Nash tells Luger, Hall, Malenko and Benoit to go after Giant and they’re able to get him out to get us down to five.

The Horsemen go after Hall but he knocks them back, allowing the Wolfpack to dump Malenko and Benoit and get us down to three. Luger and Nash bump fists but go to different corners. Everyone hits everyone and it’s Hall going down in the corner. He comes back with chops to Nash and the forearm puts Kevin down. Luger Racks Hall but Nash dumps both of them to win in the same ending from 1996.

Rating: D. It’s a battle royal so it’s not exactly the easiest thing in the world to rate. That being said, this really wasn’t all that interesting. Nash winning isn’t a huge shock and he’s certainly not the worst choice in the world for the title shot. I’m sure we’ll get more into that at Starrcade and a certain Nitro though. The biggest problem here was the camera work. They kept going for closeups instead of either the usual shot you get watching a wrestling match or that awesome overhead shot where you could see the entire ring easily.

US Title: Bret Hart vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Bret is challenging. The brawl starts on the floor with Bret being whipped into the barricade and steps. Hart is whipped out of the ring again and goes face first into the barricade a second time. He finally comes back by snapping Page’s throat over the top rope and takes over in the ring. A DDT gets two for the Canadian and the match is already going slowly. We hit the chinlock to make things even worse.

Back up and Page grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two before they head back outside. Page is sent into the barricade to put Hart back in control. A Russian legsweep gets two back in the ring but DDP reverses a tombstone into one of his own for the same. Bret escapes a German suplex but walks into a belly to belly for two. The discus lariat drops Bret again and the Pancake is good for another near fall.

A Cactus Clothesline from Hart sends both guys outside and Bret pulls out a foreign object. Not that it matters as Page comes back in with a springboard clothesline to knock it out of his hands. Bret drops the object and the referee puts it in his pocket as Page puts on an AWFUL looking hold. The announcers call it the Sharpshooter but that’s not a Sharpshooter no matter how you look at it.

Hart comes back with a low blow and it’s time to go after the leg. Bret wraps the leg around the post and puts on the Hart Breaker as well. He cannonballs down onto the leg and puts on the regular Figure Four (wrong leg of course) until Page makes the rope. Another cannonball is countered by Page kicking Bret over the top and out to the floor. Now it’s Bret going into the steps and Page puts on a Hart Breaker around the post as well.

Page brings a chair into the ring but the referee takes it away, allowing Bret to knock Page into the referee to put both guys down. Bret takes the foreign object back as the NWO Referee comes in. Page gets decked and is out cold, setting up the Sharpshooter. The NWO Referee calls for the submission and the announcers shout that this isn’t going to stand. Another WCW referee comes in and says not so fast, allowing Page to hit the Diamond Cutter on Bret with the original referee counting the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just long. The overbooked ending works here but it felt tacked on. It easily could have been five minutes shorter and been a much better match as a result. Also that’s not really a good use for Bret (shocking I know) after the weeks of hurting so many people. Then again, it’s not like Bret was ever used properly in WCW at all.

Overall Rating: F+. The TV and Cruiserweight Title matches were acceptable but that’s about it for the night. This was a good example of a show where they clearly weren’t trying and put almost no effort into things. WCW is at a very bad point here as there’s no energy at all in the promotion and there’s nothing to get excited about. Nash vs. Goldberg doesn’t do anything for me at all but it’s Nash’s company to run at this point so what different does my opinion make?

 

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Starrcade 1994: This Is Why They Ran Off Austin And Foley

Starrcade 1994
Date: December 27, 1994
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

This show is the first of a new era for WCW. Now instead of the old style of long matches with the focus being on athleticism and storytelling, the show is based around the idea of spectacle and over the top characters and what would become known as sports entertainment. There is certainly something to that style as it made the WWF the top company in the wrestling world, but it’s a big shift from one style to the other which may or may not work all that well in WCW. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with the usual montage of the matches tonight.

 

Santa Claus, as played by Kevin Sullivan’s brother Dave, is here.

 

Before we get going, some singer named Aaron Tippen sings the national anthem. Why he’s wearing a Tampa Bay Lightning jersey in Nashville is never explained.

 

We recap Randy Savage debuting on an episode of WCW Saturday Night and saying he had a problem with Hogan being world champion. He wanted to see Hogan but was told that Hogan would be in Nashville on December 27, so Savage promised to show up.

 

To keep the show from starting even longer, we see Hogan being presented with the PWI Wrestler of the Year award.

 

US Title: Vader vs. Jim Duggan

 

Duggan is another guy that was brought into WCW and then beat Austin in 45 seconds for the US Title back in September. If you’re not familiar with him, Duggan is an American patriot, who promises to give everything he’s got in all of his matches. It’s really basic but worked quite well for him over the years. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Duggan pounding Vader down. Duggan is kind of a clueless putz but he’s a good brawler who can hang with Vader in a fist fight.

 

They fight on the floor with Vader being sent ribs first into the barricade. I don’t think the bell has rung yet. Vader tries to get in and Duggan jumps him again with more right hands. A clothesline drops Vader again and a second puts him on the floor. Back in and Duggan this a cross body for two and a delayed body slam for the same. Duggan keeps pounding away as Vader has been on defense the entire way through. Another clothesline puts Vader down and a knee drop gets two.

 

Off to a chinlock as Race is panicking on the floor. Vader finally comes back with some punches, only to have Duggan fire off even more big right hands. The challenger smacks him in the head though and Duggan is staggered. Jim clotheslines him down for the third time but Vader is in the ropes to break up a pin. In something very out of character for Duggan, he goes up to the middle rope and completely misses an elbow drop. Vader goes after the ribs as Duggan is now in trouble.

 

A slam puts Duggan down and there’s the Vader Bomb (a middle rope pump splash if you’ve never seen it) for two as Jim gets his foot on the ropes. Vader loads up another Bomb but Duggan kicks him down, only to be run over by a standing splash. Race gets in some choking with the referee not paying attention like a good evil manager. Vader slaps his arms around Duggan’s ears to put him down but Duggan rolls away from the moonsault.

 

Back up and Duggan hits the fifth clothesline of the match to put both guys down again. Duggan’s Three Point Clothesline hits but Race breaks up the cover. Vader goes up top but dives into a powerslam like he did two years ago but there’s no referee due to Race again. Duggan loads up another clothesline but Vader shoves him into Harley, who was holding up Duggan’s 2×4. Vader picks up Duggan and drops him on his face for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: B-. This was shockingly good with Duggan working HARD out there to keep up with Vader. They had the fans believing that Duggan could survive the monster which is all you can ask for with guys like Vader. This was also a good way for Vader to bounce back as he hadn’t had the best year in 1994. He would get to feud with Hogan over the first two months of 1996.

 

The Faces of Fear have a tombstone for Hogan. They all promise to hurt their opponents tonight. Sullivan implies that someone has been paid to help against Hogan.

 

Alex Wright vs. Jean-Paul Levesque

 

Levesque used to be known as Terra-Rizin but now is a French aristocrat character. Wright is from Germany, is 18 years old and loves to dance. Feeling out process to start with Levesque taking over via an armbar on the mat. Wright spins out and dropkicks Levesque down before breaking a wristlock the same way. Now Alex takes over with an armbar of his own before Levesque puts on a headlock. Wright counters into a headscissors in a sequence that works so well that they do it all over again.

 

Back to the mat for another armbar by Wright as this match is very basic so far. Then again both guys are rookies so they don’t exactly know how to work a long match yet. Levesque has enough of this wrestling stuff and punches Wright in the face to take over. Jean-Paul chokes away in the corner and takes Wright down with a spinwheel kick. A shoulder block gets a very slow two count for Levesque and he ducks a cross body to send Wright crashing into the mat.

 

Alex gets kicked in the head while on the floor as Heenan makes Hogan’s Heroes jokes. Levesque breaks up a sunset flip attempt via a right hand before putting on a chinlock. Wright fights up and hits another dropkick for two before being put in the chinlock again. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Alex down but Levesque misses a top rope elbow. Wright hits a quick backdrop but Jean-Paul gets up and they ram heads, putting both guys down. Alex flips over Levesque out of the corner and a rollup is good for the pin.

 

Rating: C. This was just ok and again there was no reason for this match to be happening. Wright continued to be a guy that WCW was moments away from pulling the trigger on for years to come. The really interesting guy here though is Levesque, who soon after this was offered a spot as Steven’s Regal’s tag partner. Thinking he had no future with the company, he was granted his release and signed with the WWF, who gave him the same gimmick (minus being French) and named him Hunter Hearst Helmsley, which he later shortened to Triple H. In other words, WCW had Triple H, Austin and Mick Foley (Cactus Jack) and let them all go. Think about that for a second.

 

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd

 

Johnny is defending and this was supposed to be Honky Tonk Man challenging, but he walked out on the company literally earlier in the day so Anderson is a replacement. Anderson is also a member of the Stud Stable with Colonel Parker and a monster called Meng with him here. He runs Badd over to start and does a little dance in a funny bit. Johnny takes it down to the mat and hooks a hammerlock to steal a page from Anderson’s playbook.

 

Anderson gets caught in a headscissors but quickly gets to the rope. Now we talk about Johnny’s underwear for no apparent reason until Anderson hooks a top wristlock to take Badd down. Johnny takes over with an armbar before armdragging Arn out to the floor. Back in and Badd pounds away, only to charge into Arn’s spinebuster for no cover. Heenan starts talking about Mr. T. vs. Sullivan out of nowhere as Parker talks trash at Badd.

 

Arn hooks an abdominal stretch and grabs the rope for some extra cheating. We get another Anderson signature spot as he takes Johnny down to the mat with a test of strength grip before jumping into the air and landing on Badd. For once though, Anderson doesn’t get crotched. Off to a chinlock as the match is starting to drag, which to be fair is due to these two having no issues. Anderson grabs a sleeper but Badd reverses into one of his own, only to be caught in a jawbreaker. Badd comes back with a sweet knee lift and a top rope sunset flip for two. A quick rollup is good enough for Johnny to retain the title.

 

Rating: D+. The lack of a story hurt a lot but at the end of the day they had like five hours to set this match up. Anderson was a great choice for a fill in spot like this as he held the title so many times before so he had a reasonable chance of taking the belt. That’s exactly what he did in about two weeks, which makes me wonder why he didn’t just win it here.

 

The Nasty Boys win Tag Team of the Year. Who would actually vote for them is beyond me.

 

Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat

 

Harlem Heat, a pair of brothers from Texas named Stevie Ray and Booker T, had actually won the tag titles a few weeks before this but the TV show hadn’t aired yet, meaning they aren’t listed as champions yet. I believe the Nastys are the good guys here. It’s a brawl to start with Sags hitting a pumphandle slam on Booker for two. Booker, the speed guy of the team, starts with Sags and takes Jerry down with a forearm to the face.

 

Sags comes back with a standing slam before bringing in Knobs for a double back elbow. Stevie takes a double elbow of his own and the Nasties are in full control. Booker is sent to the floor and taken down by a clothesline before being thrown back inside. Stevie gets in a shot and the Heat finally takes over via an elbow to Brian’s face. Knobs comes right back with a clothesline, allowing the Nasties to start clubberin (a Dusty Rhodes term, meaning to pound the tar out of someone in the corner) Stevie down.

 

Jerry stays in to work on the arm but Stevie gets in an elbow to bring in Booker. Knobs is in as well with a DDT on Booker’s arm for two. Off to an armbar as the resting begins. Sags comes back in with an armbar of his own but Booker sends him to the floor, allowing for a bicycle kick to Sags’ jaw.

 

Back in and it’s off to Stevie for some strikes of his own. We hit the nerve hold to make sure the match doesn’t get going at any sort of a good pace. Off to a chinlock instead to pick up the pace (now he’s using TWO hands to rest) but Jerry comes back with a jawbreaker. Now it’s off to a bearhug by Booker, followed by a front facelock from Ray. These moves are going on for about a minute and a half each with nothing else at all.

 

Sags gets a boot up in the corner and a clothesline turns Stevie inside out. A double DDT on Harlem Heat is enough for the tag off to Knobs and house is cleaned. The Heat’s manager Sherri gets on the apron to spray Knobs but hits Booker instead, allowing Sags to drop a top rope elbow (popular move tonight), but Sherri comes in off the top for the DQ.

 

Rating: D. This was another long and dull match with WAY too much laying around in rest holds. On top of that we had to wait for eighteen minutes until the lame ending with Sherri coming in. The Heat would get FAR better in the future, but their feud with the Nasties dragged them way down.

 

Post match Sherri gets a Pit Stop. It involves Knobs raising his arms in the air and I think you can figure the rest out for yourselves.

 

Sting receives the Most Popular Wrestler of the Year Award.

 

Here at the show, Sting is ready for Avalanche and loves the fans.

 

Mr. T. vs. Kevin Sullivan

 

Mr. T. was with Mr. T. at the first Wrestlemania and has been associated with him on and off ever since. He’s in a referee shirt and hat here for no apparent reason. T sidesteps Sullivan to start and hiptosses him down….as Santa comes out. Some headbutts put Sullivan in the corner and T pounds away, only to be sent out to the floor.

 

Sullivan rips his shirt over T’s head and pounds away as a cameraman goes down. They stay on the floor with Sullivan continuing to pound away until Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s manager, comes out. The distraction lets him slip his megaphone to Santa (Kevin’s brother) who blasts Kevin in the head, giving T the pin.

 

Rating: F. Was there a point to this that I was missing? It wasn’t even four minutes long and T was on offense for all of thirty seconds. The rest of this was Sullivan slowly beating on T outside before the finish. Other than that, not much to see here at all but I guess T brought in some extra buys for the show.

 

Post match Kevin beats up his brother, giving him a piledriver and whipping him with a belt. Remember that Dave is dressed as Santa Claus.

 

Hogan was hoping that Butcher would come to his senses and get the match called off, but Butcher hasn’t said a word to Hogan. As for Savage, he hopes Randy doesn’t make the big mistake but Hulk is ready if he does. Jimmy Hart swears to never turn on Hogan. This was weird to longtime WWF fans as they were only together in the WWF for a few months before Hogan left, but in WCW it seemed like they were friends for life.

 

Avalanche vs. Sting

 

The fans are of course completely behind Sting. Both guys yell at each other a lot before they shove each other around. Sting hits the first significant contact with a right hand before they go to the corner, where Avalanche starts pounding away at the ribs. Avalanche misses a charge and Sting fires off some quick kicks to the leg. Sting is taken down by pure power though and some elbow drops gets two. There’s a legdrop as well but Sting gets to his feet. Avalanche knocks him right back down and stands his 450lb mass on Sting’s chest.

 

Sting fights out of the corner and kicks Avalanche down, sending him rolling out to the floor. Back in and Avalanche puts on a headlock followed by a big clothesline to take Sting down. A powerslam crushes Sting again for two as the match slows down a bit. To be fair though, that’s the right idea for someone like Avalanche. We hit the bearhug and Sting is in big trouble.

 

Instead of squeezing even more though, Avalanche rams Sting into the corner, but Sting comes out with a sleeper to slow Avalanche down. Avalanche finally rams him into the corner enough to escape, only to have Sting fire off kicks to the leg. The big man loads up his Avalanche seated splash but Sting pops up and fires off clotheslines.

 

A dropkick sends Avalanche into the corner to crush the referee and Sting adds a Stinger Splash on top of that. Sting slams Avalanche and puts on the Deathlock but there’s no referee. Sullivan comes in and the double team allows for the seated splash to hit, but here’s Hogan with a chair for the save as the match is thrown out.

 

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible here but for the goodness’ sake, why in the world couldn’t they have Sting beat a guy like Avalanche here? This is Starrcade, not some random TV show where you need to build up for something else. For the life of me I have no idea what the point of a DQ was here, but 1994 WCW didn’t make a ton of sense at times.

 

Jimmy Hart wins Manager of the Year. Hart preaches to the audience about being saved by Hulk Hogan. Heenan has a stomach ache.

 

We recap Butcher vs. Hogan. In short, they were friends forever and Brother Bruti (Brutus Beefcake was his WWF name) got tired of being in the shadow. He put on a mask and attacked Hogan with a pipe to the knee while aligning with Sullivan in the 3 Faces of Fear. Beefcake was around during a lot of the attacks, as there were two masked man at times, with the other being presumably either Flair or a hired goon. Hogan eventually unmasked him, meaning it’s time for the showdown. Not that anyone wanted to see it, but we’re getting it no matter what.

 

WCW World Title: The Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan

 

Hogan’s music stops for the big match intros then starts up again after his introduction. Commissioner Nick Bockwinkel sends Sullivan and Avalanche to the back. Hogan (the champion of course) shoves Butcher away but Butcher goes to the eyes to take over. The announcers talk about these two being longtime friends, with Heenan saying this is like watching Andy beat on Aunt Bea. They head to the floor with Butcher ramming Hogan into the barricade and choking away with a cable.

 

Jimmy Hart steals a chair from Butcher as Heenan cheers Butcher on. Hogan comes back and sends Butcher into the post before hitting him with a chair. Now Hogan chokes with a cord as well before we head back inside where Butcher hits a running knee to the face. A powerslam gets one for Butcher as he pulls off of Hogan. Butcher misses a middle rope elbow and Hogan comes back with right hands to the head. The champion bites Butcher’s head and pounds away in the corner as Hogan is in full control.

 

Butcher comes back with some throat shots before we hit the nerve hold. Hulk fights up and hits a shoulder block, only to be knocked back into the ropes. There’s Butcher’s sleeper but Hogan is almost immediately fighting up. Butcher takes him back down and lets Hogan go, but Hogan is playing possum. The challenger covers and Hogan of course shoves him off at two. As is Hogan’s custom, he fires off right hands, beats up the other invading Faces of Fear and hits the legdrop to retain the title.

 

Rating: F. At the end of the day, this is Hulk Hogan beating up a guy who has done absolutely nothing of note over the years but is Hogan’s good friend. In other words, this had nothing to do with the Butcher’s ability or anything like that, but rather that he was friends with Hogan. The match was horrible with Hogan never being in anything resembling danger, making this a horrible choice for the Starrcade main event. Other than maybe 1992, this was probably the weakest main event to date.

 

Post match the 3 Faces of Fear stare Hogan down but here’s Savage. Hogan has a chair but Savage asks the other villains to leave. Before they leave though, Savage turns on them and helps Hogan clear the ring. Heenan sounds like he’s having a heart attack. Hogan and Savage pose for a long time as we look at replays.

 

In the back, Hogan and his friends celebrate in the back when Vader comes in to stare Hogan down and challenge him for the title. Two PPV main events in a row would result. This segment somehow also gets seven and a half minutes.

 

Overall Rating: D-. This show was a massive love letter from Hulk Hogan to Hulk Hogan. The post main event stuff sets up some future matches, which Hogan would of course dominate. That was the problem with WCW around this time: it was ALL Hogan and his friends against various heels, most of which were nothing of note. The only decent match on here is the opener and that was just ok. Terrible show here with nothing of value at all.

 

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Halloween Havoc 1998 (2014 Redo): For All The Wrong Reasons

Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

We’re FINALLY here after six weeks of buildup. It’s a double main event with Warrior and Hogan in the battle for Hollywood’s sanity and ego as well as Diamond Dallas Page challenging Goldberg for the World Title. However the show is remembered far more for something that had nothing to do with the wrestling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the big matches on tonight’s card with the overly dramatic music playing in the background. This really is a stacked card.

The set looks AWESOME with a giant demon holding an inflated pumpkin with the Halloween Havoc logo. WCW always did nail their sets unlike today where you’re lucky to get a few props.

The announcers hype up the double main event. By this I mean they mention Goldberg vs. Page in one sentence and then talk about Hogan vs. Warrior for two minutes. Thankfully Tenay actually talks about the World Title match and how different Page and Goldberg’s paths have been to get here.

We open with the Nitro Girls in the ring. Since most of you probably know what’s coming, I’m going to keep track of the time being wasted on segments like this. The ongoing total will be listed in parentheses at the end of each segment. (1:10)

Tony lists off three matches added: Disco vs. Juvy with the winner getting a title shot later in the night and Raven challenging for the TV Title.

Gene brings out Rick Steiner for a chat as we wait on the first match. Rick says this isn’t brother vs. brother tonight because he sees Scott as just another opponent. Buff Bagwell comes out sans NWO gear to say he’s had a real change of heart. Everyone is sick of Scott Steiner and he knows the NWO doesn’t work one on one. Therefore, Buff should be in Rick’s corner tonight and he barks to prove his loyalty. Rick doesn’t know if he can trust Buff but goes along with it anyway. (4:37)

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

This could be good. Side note: I’m watching this on the WWE Network (praise be its name) and Break the Walls Down is swapped in for Jericho’s WCW theme. My head snapped up when I heard that instead of his regular song. Raven complains about his losing streak and asks What About Me.

He went to bed at 11am this morning and then arrived at the arena to find out he’s in an unscheduled match. Well he doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight so he gets up and leaves. Jericho doesn’t want to wrestle either but all of the Jericholics are here to see him because Jericho equals buyrates and rock and roll. He was really looking forward to facing an icon like the leader of the Flock, but there wouldn’t be much of a challenge because Raven is a LOSER. That’s enough to get Raven inside for the opening bell, nearly thirteen minutes into the show.

Jericho jumps him coming in and whips Raven with his leather jacket, setting up the arrogant cover for two. Raven gets his hands on Jericho and they fall over the top and out to the floor. Jericho gets suplexed ribs first onto the steps and comes up holding his knee. A dropkick off the steps puts the champion down again. Jericho: “HELP ME!” Back in and Jericho hits a quick Stun Gun before the springboard dropkick sends Raven into the barricade.

Chris follows him out with a dive but Raven steps aside and Jericho goes head first into the barricade as well. It’s Raven’s turn now as Jericho whips him into the steel again before they head back inside. Raven bites Jericho’s face before throwing on a quickly broken sleeper. Jericho hits a backsplash and takes the turnbuckle pad off but Raven blocks the whip into the corner. A standing hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb by Raven before he catapults Jericho face first into the buckle for two.

Jericho is oddly unharmed by being sent face first into steel but Raven catches him in a belly to belly for two. Back up and Jericho sweeps the legs to put on the Liontamer. Raven is quickly in the ropes and hits the Even Flow out of nowhere for two. A low blow lets Chris hit a German suplex for another close two as Kanyon runs out and gets on the apron. Jericho immediately knocks him off and reverses another Even Flow attempt into the Liontamer for the quick submission.

Rating: B+. Why does no one bring this up as a great match for either guy? They meshed the hardcore and wrestling stuff together here and got a great match as a result. Jericho was wrestling like a face here for the most part and it worked just as well as his awesome heel run. The announcers played up how Raven has been submitting so quickly after passing out from the Crossface with a smile earlier in the year. Nice touch of continuity to go with a great match.

Here are Hogan (in an NWO Nitro t-shirt) and Eric Bischoff with a goatee and haircut. Before the actual promo starts, Hogan says he beat up everyone in wrestling because he loves Eric so much. Eric is always asked what he admires the most about Hollywood. Since there’s so much, it’s that he represents the family values of this millennium.

Hogan says he could be long winded out here but he knows the NWOites all love him and worship the ground he walks on. He goes on about how he attacked Horace to prove a point and we get clips because just talking about it isn’t enough. Hogan says he went a bit too far but it was drawing a line on what it meant to be an NWOite. Tonight, Warrior will know exactly what it’s all about and he’ll get beaten up real bad for life. Since that’s not enough, Hogan spends another minute talking into the camera as the music plays. (10:07)

Meng vs. Wrath

The fight starts on the floor with Wrath sending Meng into the steps and taking him down with the flip dive off the apron. They head inside with Wrath getting two off a middle rope clothesline. Meng rolls forward to escape the Meltdown and the Kick of Fear gets two. A gutbuster gets the same but Wrath comes back with knees to the ribs in the corner. Meng gets two more off a belly to back suplex but misses the Death Grip. A Rock Bottom is good for two on Meng before the Meltdown gets the pin for Wrath.

Rating: D+. The match was a decent power brawl and it gets Wrath a his biggest win to date. They’re actually building him up strong and it’s very nice to see for a change. You would think putting the TV Title on him would make sense as Jericho doesn’t need it and the US Title simply wasn’t happening for Wrath at this point.

Kidman is ready to face either Guerrera or Disco Inferno tonight. I won’t count this as a waste of time because it was like fifteen seconds long.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

Winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against Kidman later tonight. Disco stomps away in the corner to start but grabs a side slam for two. Juvy lands a LOUD chop to take over and does some quick dancing of his own. Guerrero tries the backflip out of a Fameasser position but just falls to the side. A second attempt at a Fameasser works a bit better and Disco gets monkey flipped over the top. Juyy baseball slides into a headscissors and both guys go down for a few seconds.

Back in and Disco takes over with an atomic drop and clothesline before stopping to dance instead of cover. We hit the chinlock with no cranking on it at all before Juvy slides to the apron to take Disco down with a Stunner. Disco heads outside again and turns his back on Guerrera, allowing him to be taken out by a nice plancha. They head inside again and Disco grabs a swinging neckbreaker but lays on the mat instead of covering.

Disco counters a sunset flip with a right hand but stops for a Macarena. He busts out a giant swing of all things but dizzies himself. It doesn’t turn out all that badly though as he falls head first onto Juvy’s groin. Referee: “Juvy are you ok?” All three announcers: “NO HE’S NOT OK!” Disco takes forever to get up top so Juvy can nip up and grab a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Juvy on top with a spinwheel kick (his hip hit Disco so Tony’s “flying body attack” description is more accurate) for two and the sitout bulldog gets the same. Juvy loads up a victory roll but Disco shoves him off and nails the jumping piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. Shockingly good match here with Disco wrestling a normal style against the high flier in Guerrera. I’ll give Disco this: he turned a ridiculous gimmick into a successful career and had some solid matches throughout. That jumping piledriver looked great as well and made things even better.

Nitro Girls again, this time with hats and chairs. Kimberly’s complete lack of emotion is more disturbing than anything else. (11:05)

Here’s Scott Steiner with something to say. He’s been going for thirty days with a freak on his left, a freak on his right and one in a box. Big Poppa Pump is in town and ready to pound so here’s a catchphrase. He beat up Buff in front of his brother, so why not make this match interesting tonight, and have Buff/Rick vs. Giant/Scott? We’ll make it even more interesting and make it for the World Tag Team Titles. Giant comes out and agrees.

JJ comes out and asks if they’re serious. If they’re willing to do so, let’s make it even MORE interesting: if the titles change hands, Rick gets to face Scott in a fifteen minute match. You know, LIKE THEY ALREADY ADVERTISED. Scott says deal. This makes potentially five matches added to the card already tonight. (15:42)

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

Heaven forbid we don’t see this match again after they fought on Nitro two weeks ago (and again this coming week on Thunder). Finlay drives him into the corner to start as the announcers immediately start talking about Hogan vs. Warrior. Wright does three straight nip ups and climbs the corner to escape a wristlock. I guess just spinning Finlay’s arm around was too passe for a European. They trade European uppercuts with Wright taking over and stomping away as the boring chants start up about two minutes in.

A catapult into the bottom rope has Finlay in trouble but he comes back with a catapult of his own, sending Wright chest first into the ropes so he falls back onto Finlay’s knees. They head outside with Wright taking over and slamming Finlay onto the floor. Finlay comes back by dropping Wright’s throat across the barricade out of a fireman’s carry. Back inside and they tumble right back down again. Wright comes back inside and misses a missile dropkick. Finlay’s charge hits the post and Alex hits a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was fine but this was already done on Nitro and the story isn’t interesting in the first place. Wright has won most of the matches between the participants so far and it hasn’t really done anything for anyone involved. This is a good example of a match that just didn’t need to be on the PPV.

Ernest Miller talks about being great on WCW.com but Lee Marshall points out that all his nicknames are already taken. Kidman at least had a match tonight. (16:42)

Lodi vs. Saturn

This is added match #5. December to Dismember only added four. Lodi has little pieces of chains on his trunks which jingle every time Saturn does anything. Wait stop the match! SOMEONE IS TAKING LODI’S SIGNS! Thankfully Lodi gets out of the ring and chases the guy down, demanding that he leave the signs at ringside. Back in and Saturn takes him down with a leg sweep, sending Lodi to the floor again. Lodi has to save his signs again and tries to leave but Saturn throws him back in and destroys him with the usual, setting up the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s a comedy match which is the only way you could do a Lodi vs. Saturn match. That being said, what was the point in adding this to the card? To give the audience a breather from between the big matches that could be on Thunder and whatever comes next? At least Saturn got to look dominant.

The announcers talk about what’s coming. We also get a recap video of the Bagwell vs. Scott feud, which at least sets up a match later so I’ll count it as mattering.

Nitro Girls, looking very nice in leather pants and cut off tops. (19:00)

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is challenging and is quickly dropkicked down to the corner. A drop toehold sets up an armbar from the champion before he just stomps a mudhole on Disco. Kidman gets a bit too cocky though and gets sent throat first into the ropes, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Disco tosses him outside but Kidman climbs up the steps for a bulldog down to the floor. Back in and the champion misses a top rope splash to give Inferno a two count.

We hit the chinlock on Kidman but he quickly gets up and hits a hard clothesline. Disco avoids a charge in the corner and stomps Kidman down before talking a lot of trash. A middle rope elbow misses after Disco wastes too much time dancing. He’s able to avoid a dropkick though and hit the jumping piledriver for a delayed two count. Kidman reveres a suplex but can’t hit his bulldog out of the corner. Instead it’s Disco getting two off a gordbuster but taking too much time trying the Macarena Driver. Kidman counters with a faceplant and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the Guerrera match but it still worked quite well. Kidman was awesome at this point and could have a good match with anyone (except Scott Hall of course) as the division is really getting awesome again. Thankfully the LWO wasn’t a part of this as it just isn’t catching my interest so far.

Konnan’s music video (edited off the Network). (21:30)

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Giant vs. Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Hall and Giant are the real champions but it’s NWO Rules. The rules state that if the NWO loses, Rick and Scott will face each other for fifteen minutes. Not in a fifteen minute time limit match, but for fifteen minutes. Bagwell is in street clothes. We stall a bit more before the bell, but Tony is immediately plugging Bride of Chucky as soon as the bell rings. Giant chops Rick in the corner to start and Scott says stay on him instead of making a tag.

After a few belly to back suplexes it’s off to Scott with some forearms to the back as Buff plays cheerleader on the apron. Scott stays on him for a few moments before he gets caught with an atomic drop. A Steiner Line (not a lariat Tenay) puts Scott down and it’s off to Buff who of course turns on Rick because THAT’S WHAT BUFF BAGWELL DOES. Seriously, it’s all he’s done for most of this year. It’s like the bad movie sequel when they’re just doing the same plot again but this time it’s the same people.

Buff runs off to make it a handicap match as Scott kicks his brother low. The fans LOUDLY call this bull as Giant comes in and stands on Rick’s chest. The beating keeps going with a slam from the Giant as the announcers speculate about Judy Bagwell being in on this. Back to Scott as Rick fights back but gets stopped by another low blow. Tony says the WCW rules committee needs to look at that move. Wait so it’s not a DQ already? Giant goes up for a missile dropkick of all things (looked good too) but lays out Scott by mistake. Rick hits the top rope bulldog for the pin and the titles because oh why not.

Rating: D. Do I really need to explain this one? The match wasn’t entertaining and the swerve surprised no one, but the announcers of course treat it like some award winning performance. What’s the point in having a setup and the swerve in the span of an hour and a half? I know WCW thinks its fans are stupid but come on. But hey, at least we have WACKY Tag Team Champions now.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott tries to run and Giant is still down in the ring. Rick brings Scott back to the ring but has to run from Giant. Scott gets sent into the steps and begs off in the ring but Rick pops him in the mouth. Rick gets a boot up in the corner and drives him upside down into the corner for one. Another low blow puts Scott in control again and the crowd just dies. After some choking, Scott gets caught in a belly to belly for two. And now we have Buff Bagwell in a Bill Clinton mask (I don’t get it either) with the slap jack to knock Rick and the referee silly for the DQ.

Actually scratch that as the match just keeps going despite the bell. Buff puts Scott on top of Rick and picks up the referee’s hand for the count. Rick kicks out at two as Scott hits the Frankensteiner out of the corner for another two count. Buff throws the referee to the floor but Rick comes back and hits the bulldog on Scott as Nick Patrick slides in for the pin. Buff: “ANYBODY SEEN MONICA???” Seriously what was up with the Clinton stuff?

Rating: F. JUST LET THE STEINERS HAVE A MATCH!!! Why is that such a horrible idea? There’s a built in story and it would probably be an entertaining power match, but for some reason WCW keeps dragging it out longer and longer until no one is going to care anymore. And again, WHAT WAS WITH THE BILL CLINTON STUFF??? Yes I know he was on trial around this time, but why is Buff in a Clinton mask supposed to be funny?

We recap Hall vs. Nash. These guys split up at Slamboree in May and they’re having their first match five months later. Somehow that puts the Steiners to shame. Hall turned on him because he needed money which Hogan and Bischoff were willing to give him. It’s a lame story but it’s better than nothing.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

Hall comes out with a cup in hand as Tony gives us a disclaimer about Hall needing help. Scott throws the drink in Nash’s eyes and hammers away to start, knocking Nash out to the floor. Scott chokes him with a camera cable and blasts Nash with a big right hand while still wearing the vest. It’s time for a mid match promo as Scott asks how the world looks through foggy eyes.

Back inside with Hall hammering away even more, dropping Nash with a series of right hands. A discus punch sets up the crotch chop as a loud Wolfpack chant starts up. Nash doesn’t feel like taking the Outsider’s Edge this early so he makes his comeback with the right hands and side slam before collapsing from exhaustion. They slug it out from their knees, which would have more impact if we were over five minutes into the match.

It’s Nash up first but Hall bails to the floor to avoid a Jackknife attempt. Hall comes back in for some more punches before driving in the shoulder blocks. Nash fires back with some right hands and the running crotch attack against the ropes. Some knees in the corner have Hall in trouble and the framed elbow knocks him down. Nash drives in knees in the other corner while asking Hall if he wants another drink. Hall’s punches have no effect at all so it’s a big boot, pull of the straps and two powerbombs before Nash walks out on the match.

Rating: D. It wasn’t exactly good, but after watching whatever the Steiners thing was, this was a masterpiece. At least it was a match and had a story with Nash just wanting to beat some sense into Hall instead of beating him. Why is that so hard for Rick and Scott to do? Anyway, not a great match, but there was something here at least.

Nitro Girls, now in rainbow colored wigs. (22:30)

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Bret turned on Sting a few weeks back after turning on him a few months back for reasons still not explained. Sting is challenging and sits in the ring with the bat as Bret circles around on the floor. The chase is quickly on outside but they’re nice enough to come in for the bell. Bret immediately heads outside again but Sting finally tosses him inside to get going. He rains down right hands in the corner and hits an atomic drop for two.

Bret fights out of the corner with right hands and headbutts followed by a DDT for two more. A legdrop gets two for the champion and an elbow gets the same. This match is almost in slow motion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bret stomps on the chest. Bret misses a dropkick and Sting tries the Scorpion to wake the crowd up but Bret is in the ropes before it goes on. Sting hammers away and ducks a leapfrog but Bret injures his knee. Somehow Sting falls for it and Bret loads up a foreign object. A clothesline knocks it out of his hand but the referee takes it from Sting, allowing Bret to get in a low blow.

The Five Moves of Doom have Sting in trouble and Bret throws him outside. Back in and Sting accidentally nails the referee with an elbow but Bret drops a very intentional leg to keep him down. Bret kicks Sting low again (what is with all these low blows tonight???) but Sting crotches him on the top for a superplex. Everyone is out but Sting hits a Stinger Splash, only to knock himself out on the post. Bret hits him with the bat about five times, including once to the throat, before putting on the Sharpshooter for the TKO win.

Rating: D. This was long and boring with nothing a stupid ending. Sting is probably going on the shelf now as the Wolfpack takes yet another hit. Bret winning with the bat is out of character for him, but then again so is being this bored in the ring. There’s nothing here again and the match was really slow and dull.

Sting goes out on a stretcher after a long time.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior

Here we go everyone. This has been called the worst match of all time and I’m curious to see how bad it really is. Hogan says he can kill the Warrior and then threatens to murder the bum. Warrior tells Hogan to get in the ring and immediately drills him with a right hand at the bell. Hogan takes over with a knee to the ribs and shots to the back before putting on a wristlock. Warrior counters into one of his own, sending Hollywood bailing to the floor.

Hogan refuses to do the test of strength and takes Warrior into the corner. Now he’ll do the test with Warrior in trouble and we get the recreation of the famous sequence. Warrior keeps trying to fight up but Hogan switches to another wristlock, setting up the criss cross so Hogan can slam Warrior down. It’s not sold at all but Hogan is kind enough to sell for Warrior’s slam A clothesline puts Hogan over the top and out to the floor where Warrior rams him into the barricade.

Back in and the referee gets bumped with Hogan kneeing him in the head as well. Hogan runs Warrior over and calls in the Giant who accidentally kicks Hogan in the head. Warrior knocks Giant, Vincent and Stevie Ray to the floor but gets caught by a belly to back suplex for two. We get the workout belt whipping followed by one of the more impressive screwups I can ever remember. You know the spot where a heel drops elbows but the other guy keeps rolling away? They try that here but Warrior rolls the wrong way and knocks Hogan over. IT’S LEFT AND RIGHT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Anyway Warrior misses the splash (zero reaction) but comes back with a right hand and hits him with the workout belt. The referee yells at Warrior so Hogan pulls out a magic kit. It’s a plastic bag with some paper and a lighter inside which is supposed to be used to make a fireball but Hogan can’t get it to work and throws the paper at Warrior before some of it lights up between the two of them. Thank goodness Warrior doesn’t sell it and hammers away on Hogan.

A top rope ax handle (with Warrior’s hands coming apart about 10 inches before making contact and lightly grazing Hogan’s shoulders but somehow busting Hogan open. There’s ANOTHER low blow and the legdrop (still no reaction) before Horace comes out with a chair. Hollywood misses another legdrop and Warrior fires off some clotheslines as Bischoff distracts the referee. Horace hits Warrior with the chair to give Hogan the pin and soothe his fragile ego.

Rating: F. Oh yeah it’s bad and it’s not even in a funny way. This is bad in a pitiful way and doesn’t get any better at all. Ignoring the traditional illogical turn at the end by Horace (Hogan said something about passing a test), this was a long and horrible match with no one looking good.

The original idea with the fireball was for Warrior to make a big blind comeback which even Hulk has said was a bad idea in retrospect. This was much more embarrassing than anything else with Warrior showing how he had nothing at all anymore and that Hogan was just a joke anymore in the ring. I think everything that can be said about this match has been said at one point or another so I’ll leave it at that.

The Hogans pour lighter fluid on Warrior but Doug Dillinger stops the matches from being thrown.

It would be about 10:59 at this point but it’s World Title time.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Let’s stop it here for a second because this is where it all fell apart. See, WCW decided that this show should be extra long and asked the PPV companies to give them an extra thirty minutes. Unfortunately this was 1998 and not that simple, so a lot of feeds went off somewhere between the end of the Warrior vs. Hogan match and the start of the title match. Yeah WCW gave them some advance notice, but that doesn’t put WCW in the clear. If you look at this show, they EASILY could have cut nearly an hour out but WCW just couldn’t let that happen.

Overall the show ran roughly three hours and twenty minutes, so cutting out say 25 minutes would have made this fit the time slot. As I mentioned, we had over 22 minutes of segments that weren’t needed or Nitro Girls (certainly not worthless but not necessary). On top of that there was the Juvy vs. Disco match, Wrath vs. Meng, Finlay vs. Wright, Saturn vs. Lodi and the Tag Title match which all could have been on free TV instead of here. WCW never advertised the show as running longer than usual as far as I know so it’s not like the fans would feel ripped off.

It comes off as a combination of stupidity and somewhat arrogance as the company just figured their plan would work and they just HAD to be bigger than WWF. What did most of the stuff they added here help? What does a Saturn vs. Lodi comedy match (probably six minutes with entrances and a post match replay) do to help the card? It ticked off the fans and cost them a lot of money, but at least they got the Buff Bagwell swerve and a Konnan music video on PPV.

And now, the match. Page’s music is edited on the Network. Page charges right at him a few times and is easily shoved away. An armdrag frustrates Goldberg and they lock up before falling to the floor without breaking it up. Back in and Page tries a legsweep but Goldberg does a standing backflip to avoid it. Men his size should not be able to do that. A bad looking cross armbreaker has Page in trouble and Goldberg shoves him out of the ring to block the Diamond Cutter.

Back in and Page takes him down into a hammerlock but a hard shoulder block puts him on the floor. Page is able to snap Goldberg’s throat across the top rope and he follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. A Russian legsweep gets two and we hit a front facelock. Goldberg knees his way out of it and hits a spinning neckbreaker to put Page down. A hard hiptoss puts Page down and a side slam gets two for the champion. Back to the cross armbreaker but Page makes the rope.

A superkick sends Page flying but he sidesteps the spear, sending Goldberg hard into the post. Page gets two off a flying clothesline and the running DDT puts the champion down as well. He calls for the Diamond Cutter but Goldberg nails him with the spear. It injures his arm though and Goldberg can’t get the Jackhammer. Page slips behind him and grabs the Diamond Cutter but both guys are down. The fans are suddenly WAY into this as Page gets a very close two. Page tries a suplex of his own but Goldberg counters into the Jackhammer to retain the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it’s definitely Goldberg’s best match ever. The fans were buying into Page as a threat at the end of the match and that’s more than can be said about the vast majority of Goldberg’s opponents. To put it simply, this was a good wrestling match. You can’t often say that about a WCW main event but that’s what you had here.

Goldberg helps Page up post match and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Oh my where do I start? As is almost always the case, a good effort by lower card is wasted by most of the main event stuff. Look at the World Title match for an example. It’s the only good main event match on the show, but it’s the third thing people remember after Hogan vs. Warrior and the feed cutting out. Those things overshadow good efforts by guys like Jericho, Raven and even Disco Inferno.

On top of that, look at how much of the card was announced the night of the show. That’s common with some nothing matches, but there were three title matches announced during the show. I’m not saying one of them would have been enough to sell a PPV, but I’d certainly think Raven vs. Jericho, a Tag Team Title match and a Cruiserweight Title match in addition to everything else already advertised might have sold a few extra shows. But again, they just don’t mention it and add it on here.

This should have been a huge night for WCW but it turned into one of the moments they’re remembered for in a bad way. The card was one of the most stacked lineups I can ever remember WCW having but it’s remembered for two huge failures more than anything else. It’s still definitely a good show with the opener, main event and cruiserweight stuff outweighing the three bad main event matches (Hall vs. Nash is bad but not terrible) but the bad is really hard to ignore.

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On This Day: December 28, 1997 – Starrcade 1997: How To Kill An Empire In Three Hours

Starrcade 1997
Date: December 28, 1997
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Mike Tenay

 

Tonight is WCW’s night. After a year and a half of being dominated by the NWO, tonight is the night that WCW stands up and says this is our company and you’re not taking us over. WCW has its warrior in Sting and there is no way that Hogan can stop him. Hogan has been running scared of Sting for months and tonight he’s out of places to hide. This is WCW’s night. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is rather awesome with Sting standing in the shadows as rain falls. He jumps off a wall and lands on a picture of Hogan. Sting picks up the bat and walks off, all while pictures of Hogan are superimposed over the screen. That’s a great visual.

 

There will be a drawing on who gets to be the referee for the main event.

 

Several WCW wrestlers are in the crowd, including Harlem Heat and the TV Champion Disco Inferno.

 

Apparently Kevin Nash isn’t here tonight. This was another big problem with the NWO: they didn’t like to lose. The original plan for Nash was to face the Giant and lose. Nash, not wanting to be pinned on PPV, decided to screw the fans out of one of the biggest matches on the show and not appear. He eventually appeared in the match at the next PPV where he was allowed to win.

 

In other words, he acted unprofessionally and screwed over the people and got his way anyway. These are the kind of things that would catch up to them in the long run. Officially Nash claimed that he had chest pains, but he’s had a tendency to have those many times over the years when he was about to lose a major match. Also considering his story has changed multiple times over the years, something tells me he wasn’t being honest. Imagine that coming from a wrestler.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

 

This is the culmination of a rather awesome three way feud between Malenko, Guerrero and Rey Mysterio which led to some excellent matches between the three of them. Eddie is defending here. They head to the mat to start where Eddie is good but Dean is great. Malenko takes over on the champion and fires off some right hands to the head to send Eddie back. A leg lariat gets two for Malenko and they trade control of a German suplex until Dean counters a rana into a HARD powerbomb for two.

 

Another powerbomb gets two for Dean and a snap powerslam gets the same. Eddie begs for mercy and runs to the floor for a breather. Back in and Guerrero hits a chop block on Dean’s knee to give the champion control. Dean knees his way out of a suplex and drops Guerrero stomach first over the top rope to slow him down again. A clothesline gets another two count on Eddie and it’s off to a chinlock. Make that a headscissors as the match slows down a lot.

 

Back up and Eddie backs off again before kissing Dean’s feet and begging for mercy. Dean wins a test of strength by taking Eddie’s hands to the mat so he can stomp on them. A dropkick to the face puts Guerrero down again before Dean counters a tornado DDT and drops Guerrero face first on the top turnbuckle for two. Eddie gets suplexed out to the apron but lands on his feet, allowing him to snap Dean’s neck on the ropes. The champion takes over with a slingshot ax handle onto Dean’s leg to put Malenko in trouble.

 

Guerrero wraps Dean’s knee around the post and dropkicks the steps into said knee in a nice show of aggression. Back in again and Guerrero cranks on the leg for a bit before hitting a bit powerbomb for two. Dean counters a hurricanrana attempt into a nice wheelbarrow suplex for two. A backbreaker puts Eddie down again but it hurts Dean’s knee in the process. Eddie takes him up top but gets shoved off the top as he tries a rana. Dean tries the Texas Cloverleaf (submission hold) but Eddie kicks the knee out to escape. Guerrero hits a missile dropkick into the knee to set up a Frog Splash to retain the title.

 

Rating: C+. Decent opener here but way below what you would expect from these two. The matches leading up to this one had been excellent but this came off as somewhat flat. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything, but given the expectations from the buildup, this was pretty disappointing.

 

Here’s Scott Hall with something to say. As is his custom, Hall asks the fans if they’re here to see the NWO or WCW. In this case it’s WCW but Hall would rather talk about the main event. He actually has a reason to as he gets a title shot at the winner at Uncensored. As for Nash, he isn’t here tonight so Giant is the winner. Giant comes out and says that he’s a patient man and one day Nash will be back. Hall goes after Giant but gets laid out with Kevin Nash’s powerbomb. Why they didn’t just have Hall replace Nash in a match here is beyond me.

 

Scott Norton/Vincent/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

 

The Steiners and Traylor had been going to war with the NWO for months so these three are just a random grouping of members for them to fight. There’s no Konnan in sight during the entrances so we’re going to start with a handicap match. Norton is a big strong guy who used to be world armwrestling champion. Vincent used to work for the WWF as Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard. The Steiners’ manager tonight? Ted DiBiase.

 

Since there’s no Konnan, here’s former world champion Randy Savage to take his place. Savage nearly gets in a fight with the WCW wrestlers in the audience on the way to the ring. For the sake of clarity in this match, Scott will only be used in reference to Scott Steiner. Savage starts with Scott with Randy being shoved back into the corner. A shoulder block puts Savage down but Norton hits Scott in the back to let Savage take over. Off to Vincent who is there to distract the referee while Savage chokes Scott.

 

Norton comes in for a power vs. power match with Scott, followed by a backbreaker to work on Scott’s back. Savage adds a double ax to the spine, only to have Scott come back with a double underhook powerbomb and a gorilla press slam. Everything breaks down and the NWO is cleared out. Back in and it’s Rick vs. Norton now which is a battle of the tough guys. Rick hits a quick suplex and a Steiner Line followed by a powerslam for two. Traylor, a former member of the NWO, comes in to pound away on Norton as well.

 

Vincent comes back in and walks into a spinebuster and a belly to back drop. Back to Scott for that wicked spinning belly to belly for no cover. Traylor comes in again as we have the rare heel in peril sequence. Rick puts on a chinlock while rubbing Vincent’s head for no apparent reason. Traylor comes back in but misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Norton. After a big clothesline, it’s back to Vincent instead of Savage for no apparent reason.

 

To the shock of no one, Vincent is no match for Traylor and it’s hot tag to Rick. He cleans house and the Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Vincent, only to have Norton make the save. Scott hits the Frankensteiner off the top but this time Savage makes the save. Now it’s Savage in danger of being caught in the top rope Frankensteiner but Norton shoves Scott off the top, allowing Randy to drop the big elbow for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Not a bad match or anything here, but why in the world would have have the NWO D team and Savage win this match? The Steiners are the world tag team champions and they’re losing in the second match on the biggest show of the year? This night is supposed to be all about WCW, not about the NWO winning a meaningless match that they don’t need.

 

Nick Patrick is officially announced as the referee for the main event. The problem with this is that Patrick is a former member of the NWO with a very sketchy record. Keep in mind that we’re wasting time on the biggest show of the year for this. Also, I wonder what the announcers are going to spend the next hour and a half talking about.

 

Bill Goldberg vs. Steve McMichael

 

Steve “Mongo” McMichael is a former Horseman and NFL player, but he’s absolutely terrible in the ring. Goldberg is still undefeated at this point and would become a much bigger deal after this show is over. This is happening because Goldberg stole McMichael’s Super Bowl ring and they’ve attacked each other a few times since. The brawl is on in the aisle to start but Mongo’s offense isn’t having much effect. Goldberg literally picks him up and carries Mongo into the ring like a rag doll.

 

Goldberg picks up a table at ringside as the bell rings and the actual match begins. Mongo suplexes him down for two but a big shoulder tackle takes Steve down for two. We head to the floor where the table is leaning against the post. They fight around the ring with Mongo taking over before heading back inside, only to have Goldberg punch Mongo as Steve dives off the top. Goldberg hooks a quick leg lock and is toying with Mongo at this point.

 

The spear (the setup for Goldberg’s finisher) hits for two and Goldberg loads up the table on the floor. He tries to slam Mongo over the top and through the table but the referee breaks it up. A dropkick of all things puts Mongo down and out to the floor and we have to be getting close to done. Mongo gets back up onto the apron, only to be punched through the table. Back in and the Jackhammer (suplex but instead Goldberg turns it over into a powerslam) ends Mongo.

 

Rating: D. This was terrible but Goldberg’s day was coming. It was clear that Mongo just wasn’t any good as a wrestler and thankfully in 1998 he would be pushed WAY down the card and rarely ever have a big match again. The match itself was slow and plodding, but Goldberg would be pushed to the moon very quickly after this.

 

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

 

Raven, a loner who has a collection of misfits called his Flock, comes out for his match against Chris Benoit but says he won’t wrestle tonight. Instead his top man Saturn does, which has been a recurring theme for Raven. To be fair to him and WCW though, Raven had a legit appendicitis and wasn’t medically cleared to wrestle. On the other hand, WCW knew this in advance and didn’t bother to announce that Raven couldn’t wrestle, thereby ripping off the fans with something they easily could have fixed. Anyway Benoit is a very tough wrestler with an excellent amateur skill set. Saturn can do a bit of everything.

 

Before the match, Benoit talks about seeing things for what they are in an attempt to speak like Raven. This doesn’t go well at all, but once they had their match it would be a classic. Apparently this is under Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes. Saturn tries to jump Benoit but gets chopped down for his efforts. More chops hit Saturn’s chest in the corner and a jawbreaker gets Benoit out of a sleeper attempt. Benoit stomps away in the corner and invites Raven to get in the ring. Saturn catches Benoit’s arm during a chop attempt and hits a quick suplex to take over.

 

Chris comes right back with a dropkick to the knee but has to knock Raven to the floor instead of go after Saturn. Benoit whips Saturn into the barricade but Raven’s men Kidman and Sick Boy interfere to give Saturn control. Back in and Saturn puts on a chinlock before hitting a moonsault, only to injure himself in the process. A few knees to Benoit’s ribs put him down again but Benoit’s foot is in the ropes. Off to reverse chinlock by Saturn to stay on the ribs but he lets it go for no apparent reason.

 

A kind of brainbuster gets two on Benoit and it’s off to another chinlock. Benoit fights up and hooks a sunset flip for two before clotheslining Saturn down. Both guys are dazed now but it’s Benoit taking over as they get back up. Saturn grabs a quick falcon arrow (sitout slam) to put Benoit down, only to have Chris knock him off the top rope and to the floor.

 

Benoit takes it to the floor and puts on his Crippler Crossface (arm trap hold with a facelock) but the Flock makes the save. Benoit fights them and throws Saturn back in for the flying headbutt, only to have the Flock come in again. They’re quickly dispatched, but Raven himself comes in with the DDT to lay Benoit out. Saturn puts on his Rings of Saturn double armbar but Benoit is out cold, ending the match.

 

Rating: C+. This was getting good at the end but the decision here makes little sense. Benoit had been running through the Flock, so why have him lose to Saturn right before he’s supposed to face Raven? Benoit can’t beat the second in command so we’re supposed to want to see him fight the boss? That doesn’t make sense.

 

By the way: this is an eight match card and the heels are now 4/4.

 

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

 

Buff is of course Marcus Bagwell and now part of the NWO. This is I think the fourth match between these two in about a month with Bagwell cheating to win before. Bagwell of course stalls before the match begins because that’s what people with little talent do to draw heat. They lock up and go into the corner with no one being able to get an advantage. Buff starts pounding away in the corner but Lex comes back with right hands of his own. A press slam puts Bagwell down and a clothesline puts him on the floor.

 

Bagwell is ticked off and wants Vincent out here to help him. Apparently the power of a worthless man obsessed with his own career like Vincent is enough to inspire Bagwell as he pounds away on Lex. It doesn’t last long though as Luger pounds him down onto the floor and sends him into the barricade before nailing Vincent. The distraction lets Bagwell get in more of his array of right hands and forearms before stomping away in the corner. Bagwell pounds on Luger’s back and says hi to his mom Judy (future World Tag Team Champion. Please, don’t ask).

 

Luger gets in a back elbow but can’t follow up at all. Then again he took some forearms to the back so how good could be be right now? Bagwell puts on a chinlock for a bit before clotheslining Luger down for two. Back to the chinlock as this match is already going long. Luger tries to come back but a knee to the ribs puts him right back down. Now it’s a sleeper because this match hasn’t had enough rest holds. Lex finally fights up and suplexes him down so let’s lay around even more.

 

Luger pounds away and hits some clotheslines and atomic drops. Now Luger has to beat up Vincent before suplexing Bagwell down. Vincent is thrown off the top and clotheslined to the floor and Luger stomps away in the corner. The referee calls him off, allowing Bagwell to hit him in the back and into the referee. Luger puts Buff in the Torture Rack but there’s no referee to see Randy Savage make the save. Savage gets racked but here’s Scott Norton to hit Luger in the head with a chain and put Bagwell on top for the pin.

 

Rating: D. In case you’re keeping track, we’re about an hour and forty minutes into this show and the heels are still undefeated. I’m assuming the idea here was to make Bagwell look like he can beat a big name, but having him need three other guys and a weapon to do so isn’t going to accomplish that goal. This was really boring too and could have had five minutes cut out from it.

 

US Title: Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

Hennig is defending and had been feuding with Flair for months, but Flair is hurt so Page is subbing for him. Curt is also NWO of course. Apparently Page stole the physical belt last night on Saturday Night….and then gave it back before the match tonight. That sounds like an idea they had and then dropped. Page has bad ribs which he had for months on end. Hennig gets elbowed in the face a lot and knocked out to the floor for a breather.

 

Back in and Hennig wisely goes after the bad ribs before putting on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Page counters into the much more interesting headlock. Curt fights up and is put right back into the hold as the match continues to go slowly. Back up and they head to the floor where Hennig snaps Page’s throat across the top rope to take over. Page also goes ribs first into the steps as Hennig is thinking with his attack here. They go back into the ring where Curt pounds on the ribs even more.

 

Page tries to fight back but charges into a boot in the corner and a clothesline takes him down. Off to a chinlock which must be left over from the Bagwell match. The fans start chanting boring as this hold drags on for over a minute. Page finally fights up and hits a jawbreaker to escape before punching Hennig out to the floor. A dive over the top puts Hennig down again and Page throws him into the crowd to continue the beating.

 

They head back inside where Hennig gets to do his reverse crotch against the post spot. The Diamond Cutter is blocked by a grab of the ropes though and Hennig gets two. A rollup gets two for Page but Hennig clotheslines him down for two. Hennig loads up his Hennigplex but Page counters into a Diamond Cutter. He totally botched the move though and it looks like an armbar. They both get back up and Page hits the Diamond Cutter out of nowhere for the US Title and the first win by a good guy of the night.

 

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great and the botched ending hurt it a bit. Still though, it’s nice to see the fans have something to cheer for, even though it took them nearly two hours to get there. To say the Diamond Cutter was a popular move is the understatement of the year, as the fans went nuts when he hit it. This was a pretty dull match until the Cutter hit.

 

Bret Hart comes out to be guest referee. There’s no pyro, there’s no big entrance, there’s nothing but generic music and Bret casually walking to the ring. The theory is that he’s in the NWO but that’s never been confirmed yet.

 

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

 

This should have been Hall vs. Larry, as those two had been talking trash to each other for months. However, Larry only gets Hall if he beats Eric here tonight. If Eric wins, the NWO controls Nitro. Larry is in good shape here considering he’s 46 and hasn’t wrestled regularly in about five years. Bret checks them for weapons and we’re ready to go. Bischoff has the body of a 15 year old girl. He is however a black belt in karate so you can expect a lot of striking.

 

Bischoff hits a quick shot to Larry’s head and immediately celebrates. More strikes follow and Eric heads out to the floor for consultation with Hall. Back in and Larry hits some shots of his own and Eric is scared. Larry goes after him again and Eric hits a spin kick to the side of the head that knocks Larry down. That’s enough for Zbyszko and he charges at Eric and takes him down to the mat. Bret admonishes him for pulling Eric’s hair, so Larry puts on a sleeper and a headscissors, both of which are broken up for being chokes.

 

Off to a standing figure four but Eric quickly makes a rope. The damage is done though and Larry goes after the leg. Makes sense against a karate guy. Bret keeps Larry away from Eric and the announcers PANIC. Imagine that: a referee following the rules. Eric is sent into the steps and takes a brief walk around the ring. Back in and Bret blocks a right hand from Larry, allowing Eric to get in a kick to the head. Bischoff fires more kicks with Larry on the ropes, although Bret is fine with them.

 

Eric is starting to kick himself out though as the kicks are getting weaker and weaker each time. Now he fires rights and lefts in the corner as Larry is just covering up. Eric can barely move now and Larry shakes everything off. A suplex puts Bischoff down and Larry ties him in the Tree of Woe. Hall pulls something out of his pocket and loads it into Eric’s shoe, WITH BRET LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM. I mean, he knows what’s going on so why not LOOK THE OTHER WAY???

 

Anyway, Eric kicks him in the head with the loaded foot and the piece of metal goes flying. Bret isn’t supposed to see it, despite watching it fly through the air. Eric celebrates, so Bret hits both Bischoff and Hall before putting Hall in the Sharpshooter, which is Bret’s version of the Scorpion Deathlock. Larry chokes Eric for a bit and is declared the winner, presumably by DQ.

 

Rating: F. This was in the second to last spot on the biggest show of the year and featured the boss of the company who has no skill whatsoever in the ring. Larry did fine all things considered, but to waste this spot on this match and to waste BRET HART’s in ring debut on this match is absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word.

 

And yet, it’s only going to get worse.

 

Before we get to the main event, I need to set the stage a bit more. This match is 18 months in the making at minimum. Hogan has been the biggest villain in the company the entire time and has been behind a ton of attacks, crooked endings, and every other possible evil thing you can do as a wrestler. He has basically held the world title hostage for the entire time and has gone completely against WCW. Tonight should be his punishment for those crimes. This match should be Hogan being taken to the gallows and executed for everything he’s done for the last year and a half.

 

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan

 

So how does Hogan come out after running scared of Sting for a year and a half? He struts to the ring, playing the belt like a guitar. He looks like he’s about to face Sick Boy instead of Sting for the world title. Hogan should have had people literally dragging him to the ring as he was trying everything he could to get out of the match. Have him offering money to the security, have him trying to run, have him doing ANYTHING but walking out with that big grin on his face.

 

After a year of repelling from the rafters, coming through the crowd, and at one point ziplining to the ring Sting…..calmly walks out. Oh wait there’s some lightning and a voiceover that we’ve heard before so it’s cool right? They stare each other down and as the bell rings, Hogan shoves him away. Sting slaps him so Hogan walks around the ring and is loudly booed as you would expect. Sting is pushed to the corner but comes out with a right hand and it’s pretty much all downhill from there.

 

We’re about two minutes into the match now and that’s literally all that’s happened. Hogan kicks him in the ribs and a single right hand sends Sting flying across the ring. Sting is pounded in the corner as Hogan gives a shout out to his son, Nasty Nick. A shot to the throat has Sting in trouble as the crowd is stunned. There’s a slam but Hogan misses three straight elbows. A dropkick puts Hogan on the floor and Sting just stands there looking down at Hollywood.

 

Back in and the fans are chanting boring. Hogan grabs a headlock before running Sting over like he’s not even there. Two more dropkicks send Hogan to the floor and again just stands there. Back inside again and Sting puts on a headlock to take Hogan down. We’re six minutes into this and the entire sequence of action has been punches, headlocks, a shoulder block and dropkicks. Goldberg and McMichael went less than six minutes and had a full match while Hogan and Sting have fit about a minute’s worth of action in the same amount of time.

 

Hogan shoves him off and lays Sting out with a clothesline. As in Sting is down on the mat for about 10 seconds off a clothesline. A suplex puts Sting down but he’s on his feet before Hogan is. That’s more like it. He does the crotch chop sign to Hogan and pounds Hogan into the corner….so Hogan calmly rakes the eyes to take over again. Hogan is toying with Sting so far and he does even more toying by throwing Sting to the floor. Sting is thrown into the timekeeper’s area and Hogan hits him in the neck with Sting’s trademark baseball bat.

 

Sting is choked with a t-shirt up against the railing, but he comes back by whipping Hogan into the barricade. As usual though, Sting misses the Stinger Splash into the steel and Hogan takes over seconds later. Sting is crotched on the barricade and dropped with a single right hand. I’ve seen Hogan have more trouble dropping jobbers. Back in and Hogan hits an atomic drop before choking away. We’re over ten minutes into this now and Hogan hasn’t been in significant trouble at all.

 

And now, it’s going to get even worse.

 

Hogan hits the big boot and the legdrop for the pin in a little over eleven minutes. Now, the announcers start talking about a fast count, but the count was about as fast as you would expect it to be, albeit maybe a hair faster. It’s far from what you would call a fast count when you’re talking about a crooked referee though. I’ve heard stories over the years about Hogan actually paying the referee to count at a normal speed to count properly instead of doing it fast, and if that’s the case then he did a decent job at it. The count was close enough that you could buy it either way, but it looked good enough.

 

On top of that, the far bigger problem with the fast count theory is that it doesn’t hold up when you look at the aftermath. The idea behind a fast count is that the guy would have been able to kick out had it been at normal speed. Sting NEVER MOVED. He doesn’t push off, he doesn’t sit up after the count, he doesn’t kick his legs. Sting is still laying on the mat a good ten seconds after the three count. Even with the fast count, Sting looks like he’s out cold so the count doesn’t even make a difference.

 

On top of THAT, Bret Hart is seen walking in front of the camera as Hogan is going down for the cover. Not a few seconds after the cover, not as Hogan is celebrating, but as Hogan is getting on top of Sting. That would mean that he came into the arena probably before Hogan even hit the big boot. Why was he out there? He’s there early enough to grab the timekeeper’s hand before he can strike the bell, which makes even less sense.

 

Back to the “action” as Bret grabs the mic and mumbles that “he’s not going to let it happen again.” He complains about the count being fast and decks Nick Patrick (who has the most amazing overblown fall ever, throwing his arms in the air and falling over like a tree). Hogan tries to leave (as Sting is just now getting up) but Bret throws him back in the ring.

 

Bret calls for the bell, Sting goes NUTS and hits a quick Stinger Splash. He tries for another but Hogan holds the ropes, pretty much stopping Sting’s momentum cold. The NWO runs in but Sting fights them off and hits another splash on Hogan. The Scorpion Deathlock goes on and Hogan gives up, allowing Bret to call for the bell and give Sting the title.

 

WCW comes out to celebrate, Sting shouts something in what sounds like Spanish (the last word was mamacita. A quick Google search says Sting said something like “revenge is sweet baby”) into the camera, end of show.

 

Rating: W. As in where in the world do I even start. First and foremost, the match absolutely sucked in case you couldn’t tell. Hogan was destroying Sting for over ten minutes and then pinned him clean(ish) in the middle of the ring. It’s completely against everything that the match was supposed to be and was horribly boring on top of that. This made Sting look like a complete joke and did little for anyone else besides Hogan.

 

Now for the second ending, which has even more holes in it. First and foremost, there’s one huge problem with what Bret did: what if you didn’t watch WWF? Simple question: what if you had no idea that this was a reference to what happened at Survivor Series a few weeks ago because you don’t watch that company’s programming? What was Bret not allowing to happen again? Granted you can only be confused by that if you understood what Bret said, which was mumbled pretty badly.

 

Second, Bret was hired as guest referee for one match, but he now has the authority to referee any match he wants all night long. The fans live weren’t told that, so they either had to put it together in about a minute and a half, or they were completely oblivious to what was going on. The whole idea was a stretch to put it mildly and it was made even worse by how badly it was executed.

 

Finally…..just why? I mean, aside from Hogan, who could have possibly thought this was a good idea? The answer I’ve heard from either Hogan or Bischoff in one of their books is that Sting had some substance abuse issues and was in no condition to be champion at this point. The problem with that theory is that Sting just wrestled a coherent enough match. He was pretty much a shell of his former self, but he was able to throw dropkicks, punches, the Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Deathlock. That’s really all he needed in this match, but apparently he wasn’t capable of doing those things, at least according to Hogan or Bischoff.

 

All in all, this match is the biggest disaster that I can ever remember for a major match. It was booked completely backwards, it did nothing that it was supposed to do, the ending was screwed up, and the fans were likely confused by at least one thing at the time. Sting may indeed have had a drug problem at the time, but if he’s even remotely capable of wrestling a passable match (which he clearly was), you give the fans this moment and worry about the rest later. It’s been over 15 years since this happened and I’m still amazed by how badly they screwed this up.

 

Overall Rating: F. That’s the only way to describe this show: a failure. WCW completely failed at what they were trying to do here and the show is a disaster. The best match is just slightly above average and that’s likely being generous. No good guy wins until nearly two hours into the show and the main reason to watch the show (which A LOT of people did) was completely fouled up.

 

This is everything that you can possibly do wrong on a major show rolled into one and multiplied several times over. There’s nothing truly good here and the aftershocks of this show crippled WCW for good. This was supposed to be the night that WCW was supposed to come back from everything that had gone wrong for them and take back their company. At the end of the day, they got back the US Title and that’s it. They already had Nitro and yeah they got back the world title. For now. That’s the other reason this show is so awful: at the end of the day, none of this mattered.

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Road Wild 1998 (2013 Redo): There’s No Way Around It

Road Wild 1998
Date: August 8, 1998
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenany, Bobby Heenan

The summer of celebrities continues with one of the worst ideas I can imagine: Jay Leno as a professional wrestler. I still don’t get who this is supposed to attract. Fans of the Tonight Show don’t seem like the kind of people that are going to drop $30 to see something they know is going to be a goofy comedy bit and wrestling fans aren’t going to buy it because it’s Jay Leno as a wrestler. On top of that there’s one match that has been pushed at all here and it’s a battle royal. Why they can’t just do NWO vs. NWO and Goldberg vs. Giant is beyond me but I’d bet politics were involved. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a collection of Tonight Show clips which still do nothing to change the fact that it’s Eric Bischoff and Jay Leno in the main event.

I’ll give Road Wild this much: no show comes close to having such a unique atmosphere.

The announcers don’t look as ridiculous this year. Tenay in a jean jacket is still ridiculous looking though.

Gene is sitting on a motorcycle to start and brags about 200,000 bikers being here in Sturgis. Not at the show mind you but I’m sure that’s what will be claimed.

The ring and mats are up on a platform instead of level ground.

Meng vs. Barbarian

This is going to be a long show. The fight starts at the bell with both guys pounding on each other and screaming a lot. They fight over a sumo lockup before trading some chops in the corner. Meng takes over with a hard clothesline even though it didn’t knock Barbarian down. Barbarian comes right back with a belly to belly superplex but Meng pops up and piledrives him.

Meng misses a middle rope splash, no sells it, and goes up top again. Barbarian catches him in a belly to belly superplex as Tenay talks about 350,000 people being at the biker rally this week. A powerslam puts Barbarian down but he gets right back up for some chopping. Meng staggers him with some headbutts but gets pulled to the floor. Barbarian sends him into the steps and heads back inside, only to have Meng put on the Tongan Death Grip for the pin.

Rating: D. It sucked as a match but this wasn’t the worst idea for an opening match. A crowd of bikers is going to respond to two monsters beating each other up for five minutes and they seemed interested here. It doesn’t do much for the wrestling fans, but this show was never for them in the first place.

Meng won’t let go of the hold so Jimmy Hart comes in for the save. That goes as well as you would expect so here’s Hugh Morrus for the second save. Meng gets triple teamed, including a top rope splash from Hart, so Jim Duggan makes the final save, drawing a big pop from the bikers that might have watched a few wrestling matches ten years ago.

Tenay’s estimates are now up to 360,000.

Disco Inferno/Alex Wright vs. Public Enemy

Tokyo Magnum is here with the dancers. Wright rolls away from Rocco to start before hiptossing him down and dancing. They fight over a wristlock until Alex dropkicks him down and tags in Disco. He’s not quite ready to fight yet though and drops to the floor for a three way high five with the other dancers. Back in and Disco takes Grunge down with a clothesline before bringing Wright back in for a missile dropkick. Alex stops for some dancing and turns around into a Rocco clothesline.

A double flapjack puts Inferno down and Tokyo throws in a trashcan out of nowhere. Grunge gets cracked over the back as the referee is cool with all of this. Rocco brings in a ladder and that’s too much for the dancers who go for a walk. Tokyo doesn’t want to leave but his partners come back with a table. Disco grabs a mic and says let’s make this a street fight. Tony states the obvious: “Haven’t we already made it one already?”

The referee is fine with that so Public Enemy goes to the back to find a toilet seat and a kitchen sink. Grunge pounds on Disco on the floor as Tony hypes up a cookie sheet. Wright suplexes Rocco through a trashcan but Grunge blasts Alex with the sheet for the save. Rocco loads up the flip dive through the table but Disco makes a save to prevent Wright’s demise. The kitchen sink is brought in and nearly broken over Grunge’s back. The fans want to see the table but they get Tokyo Magnum thrown inside instead.

Public Enemy throws the dancers into each other and give them stereo atomic drops, only to have Wright come back with a leg lariat to Grunge. Tokyo hits Magnum by mistake as Grunge blasts Disco in the face with the ladder. Alex walks away as Rocco see-saws a ladder into Disco’s hair. Now Tokyo walks away, leaving Public Enemy to set up three tables on top of each other next to the platform. Grunge climbs a ladder to put Disco on the top table, allowing Rocco to climb the scaffolding for a huge elbow drop. Grunge has to throw Disco back inside, avoid a top rope splash from a returning Magnum, and get the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was fun and the spot at the end was good (though also odd looking with a delay before each table broke) but it took over fifteen minutes to get there. The wrestling stuff at the beginning was a waste of time and they should have just gone to the street fight stuff from the beginning. Not horrid though.

Dean Malenko says he’ll be a fair referee.

Raven vs. Kanyon vs. Saturn

Under Raven’s Rules, meaning hardcore. Raven’s music is so awesome that it doesn’t belong on a show like this. The question coming into this is whether Kanyon is under Raven’s control or not. Raven stands on the apron and tells Kanyon to get Saturn, only to have Perry take over with some kicks. Raven comes in with a chair to Saturn’s back and sends Kanyon into the post before Saturn falls to the floor as well.

Saturn and Kanyon get in a fight on the floor as Heenan tries to figure out the story of the match as only he can. Raven sits in the corner while the other two fight in the ring but they finally realize what’s going on. Kanyon dropkicks Raven low and Saturn belly to back suplexes Raven into a Kanyon neckbreaker. Kanyon throws Raven into Saturn and hits rolling Russian legsweeps on Raven for two in a nice move. Saturn breaks up the cover with a guillotine legdrop on Raven for two and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets the same on Raven.

Kanyon gets in another fight with Saturn so Raven blasts them both in the head with a chair, only to be sent to the floor. Saturn follows him out so Kanyon dives on both guys, giving us our first breather in awhile. They get off the platform where Kanyon whips Raven HARD into the barricade. Raven comes back with a suplex to put Kanyon down on the ramp (designed like a road) but Saturn clotheslines Raven down for two. Kanyon piledrives Saturn on the stage for two more before Raven dropkicks Kanyon down the stage.

They fight back to the ring where both guys drop down to avoid a charging Raven before Saturn catches him with a t-bone suplex. Saturn puts Raven in a sleeper but Kanyon puts one on Saturn as well before a jawbreaker puts everyone down. We get a Tower of Doom with Kanyon superplexing Saturn and Raven putting Kanyon in an electric chair.

Raven tries a double DDT on both guys but only puts Saturn down. Kanyon and Raven head outside with Raven getting suplexed onto the floor. Kanyon misses a splash off the scaffolding but Saturn catches Raven in the Death Valley Driver. Lodi makes the save but Horace comes in to lay out Saturn. Horace picks up the stop sign but gets blinded by Lodi’s powder. He caves Raven’s head in and a Death Valley Driver to Raven gives Saturn the pin.

Rating: C. This was a mess but it was supposed to be. I’m still not sure where they go with this story now but it would seem to still be Raven vs. Saturn. Kanyon was just there to keep spots going and he did a good job, but that doesn’t mean he helped the story or really changed anything.

Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Bonus match and the winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot at a date to be determined. Since that’s not important, the announcers talk about Leno being nervous. Psychosis takes him to the mat with a headlock followed by an armbar. Rey tries to get up but gets taken back down by the wrist. The crowd is dead for this which shouldn’t shock anyone. Back up again and Rey can’t hook a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker so Psychosis clotheslines him down for two.

A sitout front suplex gets two for Psychosis and he whips Rey from corner to corner. Rey’s arms are wrapped around the ropes in the corner as this somehow gets even slower. It’s not terrible mind you but it’s the completely wrong style for these two to be working. Psychosis suplexes Rey down and goes up top, only to do the most obvious “I’m going up here to jump into his raised boots because I’m jumping straight down instead of doing ANY kind of move at all” spot I can remember in a long time.

Rey FINALLY realizes that he’s the king of cruiserweights and cartwheels at Psychosis before jumping onto his shoulders for a spinning hurricanrana. Believe it or not, the crowd actually responds to the high spot. After nothing of note on the floor, Rey hits a big cross body for two but has his hurricanrana countered into a sitout powerbomb. That’s enough of the big spots though and it’s nerve hold time. Rey fights up onto Psychosis’ shoulders but gets dropped back into a suplex for two.

They head outside again where Psychosis….does nothing. Back inside with Psychosis putting on a half crab before going up top for a super Frankensteiner for two. Psychosis goes up again but turns his back to Rey, only to get dropkicked out to the floor. Rey follows him out with a nice dive before throwing him back inside for a springboard sunset flip for a close two.

Mysterio hits something like a Fameasser with both legs across Psychosis’ back followed by a slingshot moonsault for two. Psychosis comes back with something resembling a Fameasser of his own for two but Rey avoids a charge and West Coast Pops his way to the #1 contendership.

Rating: D+. This felt like a car that was low on gas. You could get it going for a few moments, but eventually it would sputter and die. These two are capable of having some awesome matches but instead they were happy with just laying around and doing nothing most of the time. Rey was trying but Psychosis looked horrible.

TV Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Stevie Ray

Before the match Chavo shows off another hand made and stamped document saying that he’s the TV Champion, so Stevie needs to come out here and give him his belt. Chavo tries to do the handshake bit again but Stevie runs away because he doesn’t want to win a match by submission for some reason. Instead Stevie just punches him in the head and blocks a sunset flip with a choke. Chavo bails to the floor as the announcers call this a version of the rope-a-dope. Guerrero tries to sneak in but gets caught in the Slap Jack (lifting Pedigree) for the quick pin. This was a nothing squash.

Eddie saves Chavo from a further beating post match.

Jericho promises to keep the title and warns Malenko to be good tonight.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Rick is in jeans and a t-shirt…and here’s JJ to say hang on a second. Apparently Scott is too injured to wrestle and here he is on a stretcher with his arm and leg in casts, a neck brace, and on an oxygen tube. Rick’s chair shot to Scott was so bad that even Buff’s neck is reinjured. The match is rescheduled for Fall Brawl, and the fans are LIVID. If Scott doesn’t fight at Fall Brawl, he’s suspended for life. Scott jumps up but runs away from a charging Rick to end this stupid bait and switch.

Brian Adams vs. Steve McMichael

Another bonus match which is about as welcome as 847 angry yellowjackets pouring buckets of boiling tar on your back and injecting you with needles filled with herpes while a blind monk with a bad case of the shakes checks you for a hernia. They shove each other around to start before not having a test of strength. We get the ugliest mistimed sequence this side of Tough Enough as Adams misses a clothesline and they just kind of run into each other and McMichael putting on a front facelock.

Adams slams him down and drops a pair of legs for two. We hit the nerve hold for a LONG time before Adams hits a backbreaker and bends Mongo over his knee. Mongo avoids a middle rope knee drop and comes back with a belly to back suplex. A few three point shoulders take Adams down but he shrugs them off and loads up a piledriver, only to have the referee kicked in the face. Vincent tries to bring in a chair but cracks Adams by mistake, setting up the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: E. As in ebola, which sounds a lot better than sitting through this match ever again. On to ANYTHING else please.

The Nitro Girls are around Gene on the motorcycle.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera

Dean Malenko is refereeing and Jericho is defending. Jericho comes to the ring in a purple kimona because that’s the kind of guy he is. As always, he wants us to want him but opts to tease the bikers instead. I wonder if there are any Aces and 8’s in the crowd. Jericho takes him into the corner to start and Malenko tears him away as he’s supposed to do. Juvy takes out Jericho’s legs and chops away but Jericho elbows him in the face to take over again.

Juvy is sent to the floor and Jericho loads something up but Dean pulls him to the mat by the hair. Well at least according to Tenay, as the camera was on Juvy the entire time. Back in and Juvy slams Jericho onto the mat and a missile dropkick sends the champion outside. Guerrera chops him off the platform and into the barricade before going inside for a HUGE placha over the platform and into Jericho into the barricade.

Back in and Juvy gets two off a springboard cross body but Jericho catches another cross body attempt into something resembling a Juvy Driver for two. Dean’s count was noticeably slow and the count off a delayed vertical suplex is even slower. Juvy rolls out to the floor while Jericho yells at some fans before getting hit with a backsplash for two. We hit the chinlock on Guerrera before Chris stomps away and talks trash.

The Lionsault hits knees and Juvy comes back with chops and a hurricanrana. A top rope spinwheel kicks gets the same……slow……two……count from Dean but Jericho counters a running hurricanrana into a powerbomb. Jericho kicks him out to the apron instead of covering and kicks Juvy onto the floor. Back in and a clothesline gets two on Guerrera as the crowd is trying to care about this.

A Jericho powerbomb is countered into a DDT to wake the fans up a bit and the Juvy Driver gets a two count. Jericho is dazed but still manages to crotch Guerrera on the top and superplex him back down. Juvy rolls over for two but has another hurricanrana countered into the Liontamer. He’s right in front of the ropes though and Jericho is getting frustrated.

Juvy pounds away in the corner and Dean seems to have been poked in the eye. A belt shot lays out the challenger but Dean’s slow count means it’s only for two. Jericho is all ticked off and goes to the middle rope. He kicks Dean in the chest and that makes Malenko snap. Well snap as much as he’s capable of. Dean launches a charging Juvy into a middle rope Frankensteiner for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The match was good but it’s running with the anchor of this entire show. Maybe the heat of the day has something to do with it but these matches have all been incredibly sluggish. Juvy was trying here and Jericho was his usual great self but they could only get so far. Again though, why didn’t they just have Dean take the title himself?

Battle Royal

Goldberg, Scott Hall, Curt Hennig, The Giant, Scott Norton, Sting, Lex Luger, Kevin Nash, Konnan

You can be eliminated either over the top or by pin/submission. Hall interrupts the ridiculously long entrances with the survey to keep this show going even longer. The NWO factions brawl while Goldberg hides in the corner. That lasts about fifteen seconds before Goldberg goes after Giant, which should have been a regular match tonight in the first place. Again that doesn’t last long and the match breaks down into a regular battle royal.

Hall loads up the Outsiders’ Edge on Goldberg but gets backdropped out. Nash eliminates himself (you can’t make up jokes like this) and goes after Hall as Goldberg spears Hennig down. Things get slow again with no one trying for an elimination. Goldberg finally pounds on Giant but gets headbutted back against the ropes. The fans chant for Goldberg as Giant takes him down with a Russian legsweep. Norton breaks up a Scorpion attempt on Hennig to keep the crowd bored.

Goldberg spears Konnan and throws him out before getting kicked in the corner by Giant. The NWO keeps fighting and Goldberg goes right back to the corner to wait for the next victim. It’s a short wait this time as he spears and eliminates Hennig before clotheslining Sting and Norton to the floor as well. We’re down to Luger, Giant and Goldberg but there’s a spear to Luger so Giant can dump him. A chokeslam puts Goldberg down but he does the Undertaker sit up and it’s a spear and Jackhammer for the win.

Rating: F. Holy sweet goodness how did WCW survive this long? There were eight eliminations in this match and Goldberg had six of them. The other two were a self elimination and someone Goldberg knocked out cold. There were, conservatively, five PPV title matches in there and Goldberg beat them all in less than eight minutes. You could have easily had someone throw Goldberg out and set them up as the challenger but instead let’s just have him destroy EVERYONE (except Nash of course because Nash losing would just be silly) and leave you with no challengers. But hey, a bunch of bikers cheered right?

Jay Leno/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eric Bischoff/Hollywood Hogan

Thank goodness they don’t have another video package to set this up. The one good thing about this: Liz ROCKING some jeans and chaps. Leno is apparently here to defend his title as King of Late Night. Kevin Eubanks is at ringside. Leno throws water at Hogan and Bischoff on the floor to show how serious he is. Hogan and Page start (thank goodness) and we get the usual non-action headlined by a wristlock.

Page drives in the shoulders and hits a big right hand, knocking Hogan into a left hand from Leno. Hogan is sent to the floor and the ripped Kevin Eubanks sends him into the post. Leno leads a chant against Hogan and is at least into the match. Bischoff comes in and Jay tries to go after him but gets held back. Page shrugs off some kicks to the chest and it’s off to Leno. Bischoff runs away to Hogan and Jay stays in. He points at his chin and makes fun of Hogan’s baldness which is about what you would expect. Leno avoids a pair of right hands and tags in Page.

Hogan clotheslines Page down and it’s back to the driving shoulders. Leno comes back in to grab the wrist and in one of the most painful things I can remember seeing as a wrestling fan, Hogan sells it. He wouldn’t sell for Sting at Starrcade but he’s selling for Jay Leno. Hogan shoves him into the corner and drives in a knee but Leno grabs the wrist again. A double clothesline puts Hogan down and Leno gets two before nearly collapsing into a tag to Page. Ok to be fair to Leno, he did his job and was actually trying. Points for that.

The wrestlers head to the floor and Eubanks steals a chair from Hogan to keep Page in control. Back in and Bischoff gets in a kick to the back of Page’s head to change momentum. Bischoff gets in his shots to make himself feel important before Hogan gets in a shot with a foreign object to give Eric a two count. There’s the big boot but Page gets up before the legdrop and takes Hogan down with the discus lariat.

Leno gets the hot tag and we get the showdown with Bischoff…..who drops Leno with a poke to the eye. Jay comes back with a low blow and some right hands before sending Bischoff into some buckles. Leno is totally gassed and everything breaks down. Hogan hits Bischoff by mistake and Eubanks hits a very good looking Diamond Cutter on Bischoff to give Leno the pin.

Rating: D. Of course that’s on an adjusted scale. This match wasn’t horrible but it was incredibly stupid. Again I’d like to reiterate that Leno did his job to the best of his ability. He did his comedy stuff, took a few shots from Hogan and got the pin on Bischoff. He was bad, but you knew that was going to happen as soon as this was announced. As for the booking, there were a bunch of other ideas they could have gone with here and this was probably the worst possible outcome.

You could have gone with the Battle of the Billionaires idea with Leno backing Page against Hogan in a singles match and done the showdown with Bischoff that way. You could have swapped in Goldberg for Page and done Goldberg vs. Hogan II with the same Leno vs. Bischoff outside stuff. Do that and put Page in the battle royal to get Goldberg’s next challenger. You could have done any of those things and gotten a better result, but it wouldn’t be WCW if they had gone that way.

Hogan and Bischoff get in more cheap shots until Goldberg comes in for the save. The good guys pose to end the wrestling part of the show.

The announcers talk and we get a video on Fall Brawl.

Gene interviews some fans as Travis Tritt gets ready.

The announcers wrap things up as the concert starts to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. There’s no other way to put it: this show sucked. The ONLY good match is the Cruiserweight Title match and maybe you could argue the triple threat, which was done on Nitro just a few weeks earlier. WCW is in a creative tailspin here and it’s not looking any better. Depending on your tastes, things are about to get either a lot more fun or a lot worse as the product is going to go from dull to awful in a hurry.

 

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On This Day: December 26, 1988 – Starrcade 1988: One of the Loudest Pops Ever

Starrcade 1988
Date: December 26, 1988
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

 

In addition to the main event I talked about, the other major match is Sting teaming up with Dusty Rhodes to take on the freshly evil Road Warriors for their newly won tag team titles. The Warriors had turned on Dusty during a six man tag so Dusty went out and got a young star in Sting to team with him. This was a big deal for Sting as in March he had received a world title shot against Flair on live national television, so he was clearly ready for the move to the next level. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the two major matches already listed along with Barry Windham vs. Bam Bam Bigelow for the US Title.

 

The announcers spend awhile hyping the show.

 

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

 

The Fantastics are defending here and are Tommy Fulton/Bobby Rodgers, as well as my own personal favorite WCW tag team from this era. The Varsity Club on the other hand was a very interesting idea. They’re three guys (Steve Williams, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) who were all (well not really in Sullivan’s case) top level collegiate athletes. They had a lot of success in 1988 with Rotundo holding the TV Title for just under a year. This is Williams/Sullivan challenging for the titles.

 

Sullivan and Fulton start things off with the champion speeding things up. A Thesz Press gets two on Kevin and it’s off to Tommy for a backdrop. Williams (also called Dr. Death or Doc) gets the tag and the Fantastics stop cold. Jason Hervey from the Wonder Years is here. Doc powers Rodgers down to the mat as the match slows way down. Off to Fulton who can’t do anything with Williams’ power either. The champions finally start double teaming but Fulton gets caught in a gorilla press with multiple lifts in the air.

 

Fulton comes back with what I think was a dropkick to the ribs followed by a regular dropkick to the face. Williams misses an elbow and it’s back to Tommy with a dropkick of his own. Back to Sullivan who misses a clothesline and falls to the floor. For him, that’s an upgrade over his usual stuff. Back in and Rodgers counters a backdrop and dropkicks Kevin down again. Williams comes back in but gets caught in a double noggin knocker and a double backdrop.

 

Things settle down a bit and Williams rams Tommy face first into the buckle before bringing Sullivan back in. Kevin does little of note (as usual) and tags Doc again for more power brawling. Sullivan comes back and gets rolled up for two as Tommy has far better luck against him than Dr. Death. Williams puts a bearhug on the freshly tagged in Fulton, who pokes Doc in the eye to escape the hold.

 

Back to Rodgers who slams Sullivan off the top but hits knees on a top rope splash. Williams comes back in to run Tommy over, allowing Kevin to get a few near falls. We hit the chinlock on Rodgers before it’s back to Williams for even more punishment. The Varsity Club tags in and out quite well here. Off to another chinlock by Doc before it’s back to Sullivan for a pair of double stomps to the ribs.

 

Tommy finally avoids a knee drop and gets the hot tag off to Fulton. Bobby pounds away on Steve with everything he’s got before putting on a sleeper. Tommy puts one on Sullivan as Bobby charges at Williams, only to get caught in a Hot Shot (picture a spinebuster but Williams falls backwards to drop Bobby’s throat on the top rope) for the pin and the titles.

 

Rating: C+. Not a bad tag match here and they’re getting close to actually having a good opening match for Starrcade. The Varsity Club was on their last legs at this point but winning the titles here was a nice boost for them. Williams looked ready to be a huge star but for some reason it never quite happened.

 

Tony Schiavone and Magnum TA, the hosts for the evening, talk about the remaining matches.

 

Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express

 

This has a very interesting backstory to it. The Midnight Express first formed back in 1981 as a three man team with Dennis Condrey, Randy Rose and Norvell Austin (last mention of him in this discussion). Once the team split up, a man named Bobby Eaton came into the same territory as Condrey and the Midnight Express was reformed as a regular two man tag team. They also picked up Jim Cornette as a manager and became one of the greatest tag teams of all time.

 

A few years later, Dennis left the team and Jim Crockett Promotions with no given explanation (allegedly drug problems but that’s never been confirmed). With Condrey gone, Eaton needed a new partner. A former opponent of his named Stan Lane was brought in and the new combination proved to be even more talented than Condrey and Eaton had been. This is probably the most famous version of the team.

 

Around this time, Condrey and Randy Rose teamed up in the AWA (the midwestern territory) and won their world tag team titles. Soon after dropping the belts, Cornette appealed to the NWA to bring Rose and Condrey back in for a Midnights vs. Midnights feud. Soon after Eaton/Lane lost the world tag titles, Cornette got a phone call laughing about the loss. Apparently Jim recognized the voice and said come say it to his face. Condrey, Rose and their manager Paul E. Dangerously stormed the ring and beat down Lane and Cornette. Tonight is the big brawl between the teams.

 

Eaton and Lane hit the ring fast and the beating is on. Even Cornette wants to fight Paul and the original Midnights head to the floor. Lane and Eaton double suplex Condrey into the ring and the original Midnights are in trouble early on. We finally start with Lane vs. Condrey, the latter of which is sent to the floor. Cornette blasts him in the back with the tennis racket, sending Dangerously into a frenzy.

 

Back in and Lane hits a quick atomic drop on Rose to send him to the floor, stopping things again. Eaton comes in for an elbow drop to Rose’s back as we finally get going. Paul rings the bell for some reason as Eaton knocks Randy out to the floor. Lane continues to clean house, this time sending Condrey into the corner before tagging Eaton back in. It’s totally one sided so far.

 

Eaton and Condrey slug it out with Bobby taking over and dropping a top rope elbow drop for no cover. Back to Stan for a chinlock as things slow down. The fans are totally behind Eaton and Lane here. Eaton comes back in and throws Condrey into the corner for a tag to Randy. Lane blocks a monkey flip from Rose and it’s back to Eaton. Bobby finally misses a charge into the corner, allowing the original Midnights to get in some offense.

 

We hit ten minutes into the match as Rose comes off the middle rope to blast Eaton in the back of the head. Back in and Condrey hits a quick clothesline and some knees to Bobby’s ribs. Cornette chases Paul into the ring but Dangerously gets away. Things calm down with a chinlock by Dennis but Bobby comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Rose comes back in to break up a hot tag though as the original Midnights maintain control.

 

Off to a front facelock on Eaton with Rose cranking away on his head. Bobby finally backdrops out of it but Condrey comes right in with some more knees to Eaton’s back to keep him down. Back to Rose as Condrey chokes away even more behind the referee’s back. Dennis finally comes back in legally and pounds away on Bobby’s injured ribs but the original Midnights miss the Rocket Launcher (Rose goes up top and Condrey launches him at Eaton in a big splash) allowing for the hot tag to Lane.

 

Stan cleans house and dances a bit before kicking Rose in the back of the head. Everything breaks down and the referee is knocked to the floor. Dangerously nails Lane with his telephone but Cornette takes out Paul. The referee sees the phone and won’t count the pin on Lane as the match continues. With Condrey distracted, the new Midnights hit the Double Goozle (clothesline from Eaton, rollup from Lane) for the pin out of nowhere.

 

Rating: B. Really good and fast paced tag match here as both teams looked sharp. The idea here was very simple and sometimes you don’t need anything more than that. Having the managers get involved was a nice touch and the whole thing worked really well. This was one of the hottest stories in the company for months on end and it’s easy to see why given how crisp things looked here.

 

Post match the original Midnights and Heyman destroy the new Midnights and Cornette. With the originals on Cornette though, Eaton gets the tennis racket and runs them off.

 

The Varsity Club talks about how awesome they are and swears they’ll always be at the top. Oh and Mike Rotundo is going to run Rick Steiner out of wrestling.

 

Russian Assassins vs. Junkyard Dog/Ivan Koloff

 

This is a thrown together tag match and if the Russians lose, they have to unmask. The Dog is recently here from the WWF where he wasn’t a huge deal but he was a big deal in the UWF. Dog starts with we’ll say Assassin #1 and the masked man is sent into the corner for a quick two count. Off to #2 who is almost immediately knocked to the floor with a big right hand. Paul Jones, now a Russian sympathizer, pulls #2’s leg onto the ropes for the break.

 

Off to Ivan with a hard clothesline and he chokes #2 down to the mat with ease. #2 charges into a boot in the corner and there’s a middle rope clothesline from Ivan for two. JYD and Ivan hit a double clothesline on #2 but #2 comes back with a headbutt of his own to put Dog down. Everything breaks down for a bit until Dog gets a near fall on #1 off a clothesline. The Assassins double team JYD but #2 misses a splash in the corner. Ivan comes in to clean house as everything breaks down again. In the confusion, the Russians load up a foreign object in their masks and a headbutt ends Ivan.

 

Rating: D. This wasn’t any good. I have no idea why Ivan and the Dog teamed up for this match and I didn’t even know the Assassins were a team anymore at this point. This came off like a long filler match which isn’t something you should have to use on a card with just seven matches.

 

The announcers wrap up the first three matches for some reason.

 

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Mike Rotundo

 

This should pick things up a bit. The idea here is that Rick used to be in the Varsity Club but was used as a whipping boy by Rotundo for the better part of a year. One day Steiner, whose mind is a bit scrambled because of a car accident he had a few years earlier, got sick of Mike’s treatment of him and suplexed Rotundo into the middle of next week. Rotundo agreed to face Steiner here to embarrass him, because Rotundo claimed that no one could beat him in a twenty minute match, which is the time limit for TV Title matches. Mike is defending if that’s not clear. Kevin Sullivan is locked in a cage hanging from the ceiling.

 

Mike gets knocked out to the floor to start as Rick is really excited early on. Back in and the champion puts on a wristlock but gets caught in a quick fireman’s carry to get us back to a standoff. Rick hooks a headlock for a bit until Mike shoves him away. Steiner is perfectly fine with that and takes Rotundo’s head off with a Steiner Line for two. A drop toehold puts Rick down but he immediately counters into a hammerlock. Steiner has been out wrestling Rotundo the entire time here.

 

Mick finally counters into a headlock on the mat but Rick, the good guy here, pulls the hair to escape. Back up and Steiner puts on a headlock but gets suplexed down by the champion. They head to the mat again with Mike holding Rick down in a headscissors. Apparently that’s too boring for them so it’s back up for some more circling. Rick starts dancing a bit so Mike bails to the floor for a breather.

 

Back in and Rick runs him over again, only to miss a charge and go flying over the top and out to the floor. Mike pounds away with some elbows to the head back inside followed by a kick to the chest. Off to a chinlock by Rotundo for a LONG time as the match slows down again. A hard clothesline puts Steiner down again as the commentary has stopped for some reason. Rick comes back with a sunset flip for two but gets punched in the jaw for his efforts.

 

Rick fights back again and hits a quick Steiner Line to take Rotundo down. Now the commentary is back and Steiner is pounding away on Mike in the corner. A big backdrop puts the champion down and a powerslam gets two. Rick hits the belly to belly suplex but Steve Williams rings the bell. The referee thinks it’s the time limit but we’ve only gone about seventeen minutes out of twenty allotted.

 

The timekeeper tells the referee what happened as Sullivan is lowered. Another referee comes down as well and Sullivan gets on the apron. Steiner rams Rotundo into Sullivan, knocking the champion out. Rick gets the pin (from both referees) and the title, blowing the roof off the place. It’s one of the loudest pops you’ll ever hear anywhere in wrestling.

 

Rating: C-. The match mostly sucked, but man alive the ending to that was awesome. This is a perfect example of how you blow off a story at the biggest show of the year. The fans went NUTS for the ending as they identified with Steiner as someone standing up to a bully and finally getting his revenge on said bully. Rotundo would get the title back in a few weeks, but THIS match was the important moment and it was done perfectly.

 

Rick hits the floor and sprints around the ring, pointing at a confused Rotundo and shouting I BEAT YOU I BEAT YOU I BEAT YOU! He grabs the TV Title and runs out of the arena before Williams can kill him as the fans come unglued. This is one of those moments where if you don’t smile just a little bit, odds are you don’t have a soul.

 

Tony and Magnum talk about what we just saw and the remainder of the card.

 

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

 

Bigelow is a four hundred pound bald monster covered in tattoos who wrestles like he’s about a hundred and fifty pounds lighter. Windham is a Horseman and defending here. Bigelow has Oliver Humperdink with him who was a lower level manager in the 80s while Barry has JJ Dillon who I’m sure you’ve heard of by now. Feeling out process to start with neither guy doing much in the early going. Barry takes it into the corner for some big right hands but Bigelow comes back with an airplane spin of all things.

 

The champion bails to the floor for a timeout before coming back in to suplex Bigelow down. Bam Bam pops back up and drills Windham in the face with a clothesline to send him outside again. Back in again and Bigelow runs Barry down one more time as Windham has no idea what to do here. A HUGE gorilla press puts Windham on the floor again as this has been one sided so far.

 

Bam Bam pounds away in the corner and Windham falls flat on his face. A dropkick sends Windham out to the floor as the fans are going nuts. Bigelow suplexes him down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Barry fights up and finally gets in some shots to the ribs. Bigelow is knocked to the floor and lands on his knee to really slow him up. They head back in with Bam Bam knocking Barry down from the apron and hitting a slingshot splash. Bigelow lets him up for some reason before slamming Barry down, only to miss the top rope splash.

 

Windham lariats him down and is all fired up now. A belly to back suplex puts Bam Bam down in an impressive display of strength. Barry pounds down right hands in the corner and launches Bigelow out to the floor. Back in and there’s Windham’s claw hold for a bit until Bigelow staggers into the corner for the break. Bigelow is slammed down but Barry misses a top rope elbow. Bam Bam starts pounding away and charges into Barry, knocking both guys over the top and out to the floor. Barry rams him into the post and Bigelow can’t make it back in before the ten count.

 

Rating: B-. This was a big power brawl and it worked pretty well for the most part. The ending is lame but I guess the idea was to keep Bigelow looking strong. That’s rather odd given that Bigelow was pretty much gone from the company after this. Bam Bam looked good here though and we got a good match out of these two so this was a solid effort.

 

Rick Steiner says he got tired of the Varsity Club calling him stupid. Apparently his friend Alex promised him cake. Alex would be his hand puppet.

 

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Dusty Rhodes/Sting

 

So a few weeks before this, the Road Warriors had turned heel on Dusty and tried to blind him with one of the spikes from their shoulder pads. With Dusty down, they had also gone after Sting, setting up this match for revenge. The Warriors also mauled the Midnight Express for the tag titles so the belts are on the line also. It’s a short but simple story and that’s all it needed to be.

 

Sting and Animal get things going and Sting isn’t used to not being the strong one. Animal runs him over but Sting comes right back with a dropkick to send Animal to the floor. The problem with the angle is apparent very early: the fans love all four guys. The Road Warriors had a huge heel turn but they were so beloved that no one wanted to boo them. Dusty comes in to crank on the arm but instead goes after Animal’s eye to send him to the floor.

 

Off to Hawk vs. Sting with the challenger cranking on the arm again. Hawk is WAY too muscled for that to have much effect though and he punches his way out of it. He stomps Sting down in the corner and fires off lefts and rights but one HUGE right hand from Sting drops Hawk. You’ll probably never see that happen again. There’s a powerslam on Hawk and it’s back to Animal for an easy gorilla press on Sting.

 

Sting knocks Animal right back to the floor and hits a huge dive off the top to take him down. The crowd loves Sting and with good reason: he has so much charisma he can barely contain it. Off to Dusty who wraps Animal’s leg around the post but like an idiot, Dusty allows the tag off to Hawk. Dusty loads up his awful figure four on Hawk but Animal saves the hold from being butchered again. Hawk knocks Dusty to the floor and stomps away before heading back in for punches to the jaw.

 

Dusty comes back with a dropkick to stagger Hawk but Animal comes right back in and chokes Rhodes down. Off to a neck crank by Animal as the Dusty portion of this match continues to be a letdown. Hawk comes back in with a sleeper and Dusty continues his “stand around and look annoyed” style of selling. A jawbreaker lets Dusty out of the hold and thank goodness we get the tag off to Sting. He dropkicks Animal into the corner and hits the Stinger Splash but Hawk breaks up the Scorpion Deathlock. Everything breaks down and Sting hits a top rope crossbody, but Paul Ellering pulls the referee out for the DQ.

 

Rating: C. The dilemma of this match is simple: when Dusty is in there it’s dull and when Sting is in there it’s good. The other problem here though is that there was no way they could live up to the hype of this match. This was built up as a dream match and rarely do those things ever work. Also it never felt like Sting and Dusty were out for vengeance with Dusty looking bored out there for awhile. Not that any of this mattered as Dusty would be fired soon after for the excessive blood used in the attack that led up to this feud.

 

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

 

Speaking of Dusty being fired, since he knew that he was going to be gone as both a wrestler and the booker soon after this, he tried to mess with his real life rival Ric Flair before leaving. The original plan for this match was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger and have Rick Steiner, who remember is basically mentally handicapped, beat Flair for the world title in five minutes. As you can guess, that’s not what happens but it’s an example of what happens when personal issues get in the way of the booking.

 

If Flair is disqualified here, he loses the title. Flair WOO’s in Luger’s face to start before strutting around a bit. No contact in the first minute or so. Flair hits some chops before being clotheslined out to the floor by the much stronger Luger. Legendary wrestler Lou Thesz is in the audience. Back in and Flair tries a hammerlock but is easily overpowered into the ropes.

 

Another clothesline puts Flair down and he hides in the corner for a breather. A powerslam puts Ric down again and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Off to a wristlock by Luger before he no sells a chop. Flair is sent arm first into the buckle and it’s off to a hammerlock by the challenger. Back up and Ric FINALLY pokes him in the eye to get himself a breather. Flair tries the chops again and Luger just yells at him. Those chops never worked on guys like Luger and Sting but Flair never learned.

 

They head to the floor with Luger cranking Flair’s arm around the barricade to injure it even more. Back to the armbar by Luger as this has been one sided so far. Back up and another clothesline puts Flair down for one and Flair rolls to the apron. There’s a suplex back inside for another near fall on the champion. Luger isn’t getting frustrated yet but he misses a jumping elbow drop to slow him down.

 

Back to the floor with Flair sending him face first into the barricade and chopping away which actually has an effect now. They go back inside and Flair stomps on the ribs but tries more chops which just wake Luger up. Lex puts on a sleeper but gets suplexed right back down to give both guys a breather. The Figure Four is countered into a small package for two by the challenger, followed by a superplex for two more.

 

Now Luger puts the figure four on Flair but the champion eventually makes it into the ropes. Lex pounds away in the corner but accidentally knocks the referee down. Flair uses the distraction to rake Luger’s eyes and throw him over the top, but Luger dives back in for a clothesline for two. Lex pounds away in the corner and sends him into the other corner for the Flair Flip. Another suplex gets another two on the champion but the referee gets taken down again.

 

Luger hits another powerslam but doesn’t cover for some reason. To be fair the guy never has been all that bright. He calls for the Rack but a JJ Dillon distraction lets Flair hit Luger in the leg with a chair to completely change momentum. Back in and Flair cannonballs down onto the leg as Luger is in BIG trouble. Flair kicks him in the knee and drops his own knee on Luger’s bad knee before putting on the Figure Four. Luger sits up and flexes his muscles before turning the hold over for a break. The leg is badly damaged though so Luger’s explosiveness is gone.

 

Flair goes up but Luger manages to slam him off the top on just one good leg. Luger no sells a right hand to the head and is all fired up again. There’s another gorilla press slam but the knee goes out as he turns Flair over. Flair sends him out to the floor again but Lex comes back in with a sunset flip for two. Luger flexes again but pounds Flair down in the corner on pure adrenaline. A clothesline gets two and there’s another powerslam. Luger calls for the Rack but after he gets Flair up, the knee gives out and Flair falls on top, throws his feet on the ropes for additional leverage, and retains the title.

 

Rating: A. This is an excellent match with an excellent story being told. Luger was such a natural athletic machine that he would never stop going on pure athleticism alone and eventually his body gave out on him, giving Flair the win. These two had great chemistry together and would always have good if not great matches together. Excellent main event here and well worthy of closing out the biggest show of the year.

 

The announcers talk about how great a match we just saw. As they’re talking, you can hear a battle royal being announced as a post PPV dark match.

 

Flair goes on a rant about how awesome he is and how the title is his.

 

The announcers talk about how great the company is.

 

A highlight package ends the show.

 

Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best Starrcades to date with arguably the best main event yet. There are seven matches on the card and only one of them is actually bad. The main event is excellent, the Midnights match is very good, there’s a great moment with the TV Title changing hands. The best sign of this show though is the rise of the young stars. Sting was in there with some major names, Luger had Flair beat, and Rick Steiner winning the title was a great moment that people genuinely cared about. Solid show here and worth checking out if you can find it.

 

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