This is a show I’ve kind of wanted to get to for the main event alone. This is the blowoff to Vader vs. Cactus Jack with the main event being non-title. For once that’s fine though as it shouldn’t be for the title as it’s about revenge. Also tonight it’s Flair vs. Rude II for the International Title. If it’s as bad as last month’s I’m not sure what I’ll do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video here is a bunch of kids trick or treating and one has an idea. One wants to go home because it’s time for Halloween Havoc to start. They go to a big scary house and find something terrifying inside: Tony Schiavone. If Halloween Havoc is about to start, shouldn’t he be at an arena?

One of the kids asks him just that and he says he has a helicopter. He says his wife is baking cookies and asks if the kids would like them. This is supposed to be a vampire thing I think and it turns into a promo for the Spin the Wheel Make the Deal main event. Tony pulls his face off to reveal a monster and we open the show.

Tony is dressed as Jesse and Jesse is dressed as a gynecologist. That’s rather amusing. Tony says he wasn’t in that house and it was Jesse dressed as a monster dressed as Tony. Ok then.

Ice Train/Charlie Norris/Shockmaster vs. Harlem Heat/Equalizer

Harlem Heat are known as Kane and Kole (Stevie and Booker respectively) and are by far the most talented guys in there. The face team (listed first) is perhaps the least talented group of three men ever assembled and that covers a lot. Shockmaster is the guy that fell over, Ice Train is a big muscular black guy and Norris is an Indian. Equalizer is not very good.

Ice Train and Stevie start us off. 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell are tag champions apparently. Train runs through him but surprisingly enough there’s no tag. Train can more or less do nothing at all. Off to Stevie now and Norris as well. Stevie gets his arm worked on as I’m bored already. Shocky comes in to a pop for no apparent reason. He drops some legs on the arm as we hear about his agility. Oh dear.

Harlem Heat use nefarious means to take down Ice Train as I guess he’s the face in peril. Still no Equalizer at this point. Oh great here he comes. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is of course incredibly boring and the most interesting thing we hear is that Yoshi Kwan has been replaced by Paul Orndorff in his match with Ricky Steamboat.

Shockmaster, called Uncle Fred here, comes in to beat up Equalizer. The fans chant whoomp there it is to tick me off. Norris in now but down he goes anyway. END THIS PLEASE!!! Booker misses a splash and it’s off to Shockmaster. He locks a bearhug on Booker and falls on him for the pin to THANKFULLY end this.

Rating: F+. Do I need to explain to you why this was terrible? Other than Booker T, Tugboat was the best worker in the entire match. Absolutely terrible, FAR too long at nearly 10 minutes and absolutely nothing special in the slightest about it. At least it’s over though.

Terry Taylor is the second referee for Rude vs. Flair. Does this PPV hate me or something?

Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat

Well he’s better than Kwan I guess. Orndorff has the Assassin, an old masked wrestler and Nick Patrick’s papa, with him for no apparent reason. The fans immediately start the Paula chant. Orndorff jumps him to start and takes the early command. I can’t stand Orndorff but this has to be better. Steamboat gets a rollup for two but gets his head taken off shortly thereafter.

We hit the floor as this is just barely interesting at this point. They fight on the ramp for a bit with Steamboat taking a WEAK slam. We stay out there way too long and Patrick finally yells at Paul about it. Steamboat finally gets something going by hooking the arm of Orndorff as he jumps and it’s off to an armbar. This needs to like, get going very soon here.

Jesse accusing the referee of jive talking. There’s something hilarious about that. Cross body by Steamboat gets two and it’s back to the arm. Steamboat sends Orndorff into the post which isn’t a DQ because it wasn’t head first. Somehow Orndorff is allowed to stay outside for like two minutes at a time. Steamboat goes back to the armbar and rips on the fingers this time.

Steamboat is all fired up here and Orndorff is hiding from him. Back to the floor where Orndorff rams Steamboat’s head into the apron and then dumps him into the crowd. Both try cross bodies back in the ring so we stop some more. Sunset flip gets two for Steamboat and we head outside AGAIN. This is beyond stupid at this point.

Back in the ring and a top rope chop gets two. Piledriver is reversed and it’s a pinfall reversal sequence. Slingshot into the corner sends Orndorff into the steel. The Steamboat Cross Body hits but the Assassin has the referee. The delay makes it get two. After some more near falls Orndorff sends him to the floor. With the referee distracted, Orndorff loads up his mask and rams his head into the back of Steamboat’s and it’s a freaking countout after nearly 20 minutes of dull.

Rating: D-. This is one of those matches that went on forever and then at the end we got nowhere. Probably 8 minutes of this was them laying around or in an armbar or being on the floor. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? We can’t have a clean ending here on a PPV? This was boring but the ending drags it way down.

The WCW International Board of Directors are saying that the International Title is considered a world title, so yes WCW did the two world titles first.

TV Title: Davey Boy Smith vs. Steven Regal

Ok, this has to be better right? This is pre-drugs Regal and therefore awesome. There’s a fifteen minute time limit so they might as well brand TIME LIMIT DRAW on the middle of the mat. BIG pop for Smith. That TV Title is the design that would become the Cruiserweight Title.

They walk around a lot and Regal complains about the oil on Smith. Smith almost breakdances and winds up in control of the wristlock. Regal takes over it and they kill some time. Smith cartwheels to escape some hold by Regal. This is another match with no apparent point other than to have a match. We’re about four minutes into this and nothing of note at all has happened yet.

Cravate by Regal wastes some more time. Surfboard by Smith takes about 30 seconds to set up. Sir William, the manage of Regal, tries to interfere and it makes Bulldog drop the hold. It allows Regal to take over as the crowd isn’t exactly thrilled with this match to say the least. Knee to the ribs gets two. He hooks a modified chinlock to waste more time.

Bulldog gets a sunset flip for two as this is reaching that level of boring again. We hit ten minutes with Regal holding onto Bulldog. This basically amounts to Bulldog on the mat and Regal laying on him. Four minutes left. Bulldog tries a comeback but Regal gets a knee to the ribs to stop that. Off to another chinlock which lasts awhile as we hit three minutes. Tony thinks we’re putting this into the deep freeze. You can’t buy insight like this people!

Bulldog gets him up onto his shoulders but Regal nails Smith in the ribs to drop him again. Back to ANOTHER chinlock as we’re at two minutes now. Jesse and Tony have an ethics debate (Jesse is against them) as Bulldog puts Regal on the ramp for no apparent reason. Regal takes him down one more time as this needs to end. Smith nips up and starts his comeback with a minute to go. What are the odds of that? Regal kicks out of the powerslam like it’s nothing and a Piledriver gets two at the bell so it’s a tie and Regal keeps the belt.

Rating: D. Well it was a little bit better than the other matches but it’s another nonsense finish. They’ve had one regular finish tonight and that was in the terrible six man match. This is perhaps the worst opening hour to a PPV I’ve ever seen. Actually wait. It’s not bad. It’s just insanely boring. This had DRAW written all over it from the second Bulldog’s music hit and everyone knew it.

The main event is a Texas Deathmatch which they clearly rigged the wheel for THANK GOODNESS after the fiasco last year.

United States Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

These two feuded for what seemed like forever. Dustin got the title in what was supposed to be a #1 contenders tournament but the champion, Rude, was injured so it became a title tournament. The Hollywood Blonds are still together but would be split very soon. Dustin of course, looks like an idiot because he wants to be a cowboy like his papa. Jesse flat out says it makes him look like a gay caballero.

The bell rings and the fans get a bit quieter. Austin slaps Dustin to start and they go into the corner. Dustin returns the slap and we hit the floor. Back in and Austin can’t get a Boston Crab. They tease a test of strength which goes nowhere. Austin drills him with a right hand to take over. Hmm he’s being rude to fans, wearing black, his hair is getting shorter and his name is Stunning. Nah there’s nothing there, at least according to Eric Bischoff.

Off to a headlock by Austin as they’re just past the feeling out process here. I’m starting to think that the boring style here is more a thing of WCW in general rather than the matches themselves. Into the corner now where Austin keeps control with chops. He tries a running knee into the corner but misses and hits the floor with a possibly bad knee. Austin with knee trouble? Nah.

Dustin, thinking for once, goes after the knee. Yep let’s do that for a few minutes now. The cameraman gets bored so we go to a wide shot as apparently researchers are looking up the rules for a gimmick match. This raises a bunch of questions. First of all, where do you look it up? Is there a Big Book O Gimmicks? Second, WCW has a research staff? And yet Charlie Norris, the Shockmaster and the Equalizer made it to TV? Finally, they didn’t know the rules when they put it on the wheel? What if it was an “everyone in the company loses their jobs match” according to the Big Book O Gimmicks? I could go on but I think you get the point.

Austin may hit Dustin low as he instantly takes over after a punch to the alleged stomach. Dustin goes back to the knee but Austin takes him down with ease again. Now we’re wasting some more time until Dustin hammers away with punches. Backdrop has Austin in trouble. Dustin calls for the bulldog but he gets crotched as a result. As Goldust he’d enjoy that methinks.

With Dustin sitting on the corner he got crotched on, Austin knocks him backwards into a Tree of Woe. Hey, Austin and Dustin only have one letter different in their name. Obviously the A did better than the D, thereby proving that letter grades are better than stars. Stun Gun is blocked and they go into a short pinfall reversal sequence for nothing but deuces.

Austin sets for a spinebuster but more or less drops him. He throws his feet on the ropes and gets the pin but Nick Patrick stops the celebration and says keep going. Dustin rolls him up for the quick pin despite Austin’s shoulders being up. Austin clocks him with the belt and leaves with the belt post match. He would win it at Starrcade before losing it to Jim Duggan of all people in like 30 seconds.

Rating: C. Well it’s the best match of the night so far but it’s still pretty bad. Austin and Dustin would have a much better 2/3 falls match at Starrcade but this was just not that good. You could see the star in Austin but he was held back by general idiocy for far too long. Anyway, decent match here but the show’s life has been sucked out of it long ago so there’s not much that’s going to save it and an ok match isn’t going to start the process at all.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Nasty Boys

The random team won the tag titles “last night” (really like three weeks ago) as a surprise. Again the problems with the long TV tapings show up as everyone knew the titles were changing back tonight. Teddy Long manages Bagwell and Scorpio. Bagwell can’t dance, like at all. Bagwell has been either a rookie or in his second year for like 19 years now. Hearing Buffer say “The Diss That Don’t Miss” is disturbing.

Big brawl to start with the champions sending the Nasties to the floor. Bagwell kisses Missy Hyatt just because he can. That was apparently before the bell meaning we get MORE NASTY BOYS BABY!!! Sags goes off on Bagwell to start and apparently Bagwell is surprised. They fought them last night. How surprised can he be? Bagwell fights both guys off and Scorpio hits a top rope cross body to take both Nasties out and the challengers hit the floor again.

Another dive by Bagwell as we have even more time with them staring at each other. Off to Scorpio and Knobbs now with Scorpio getting a sunset flip for two. Double shoulderblock by the champions get two as this has been totally one sided other than some punches by Sags. Thesz Press gets two for Bagwell on Knobbs. Sags comes in and gets knocked around a bit too. Lots of double team moves get two on Sags. Off to an armbar by Scorpio now.

Back off to Bagwell and the arm work continues. Sags finally remembers that he’s in a famous tag team and shoves Bagwell into the corner and double teaming by the heels ensues. Out on the floor Missy slaps the TAR out of Bagwell. Bagwell is back dropped out there and casually says Oh My God while holding his back. Slam gets two. Off to the old favorite of a chinlock by Knobbs but it’s back to Sags very soon.

Sags spits on Bagwell who takes him down as a result. Knobbs, the illegal man, covers him for two after no tag and the referee is fine with it. Gotta love refereeing skills! Bearhug goes on to kill some more time. Marcus tries to fight out but a right hand stops him pretty easily. There’s my favorite move as the referee misses the tag to Scorpio but three seconds later the real tag happens anyway.

Scorpio comes in and cleans house with punches and dropkicks. Splash in the corner to Knobbs and he wants the Tumbleweed. Sags accidentally drops an elbow on Sags and the managers get up on the apron. In the ring there’s the 450 to Knobbs but Sags drills 2 Cold and puts Knobbs on top for the pin to win the titles back. Riveting.

Rating: C-. Well the ending was pretty fast paced but the 13 and a half minutes to get there more or less bored the heck out of me. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to keep giving the Nasties double digits worth of time but it happened for about a year and a half. This was a boring match with a good ending and sadly enough the ending has been the best part of the show so far.

Sid and Colonel Parker (when did THAT partnership happen?) say that Sid is the Franchise of WCW. This next match is basically to determine who the big shot in the company is. Guess who wins.

Sting vs. Sid Vicious

Sid hammers him down to start with raw power. A clothesline by Sting puts Sid on the apron and a suplex brings him back in. To the floor we go and they fight into the crowd. This is all happening in maybe the first minute or so. Back to ringside with Sting totally in control. Top rope clothesline puts Sid down for two.

Parker grabs Sting’s foot and Sid is able to chokeslam Sting down. Now Sid stops to pose. Well no one ever accused Sid of being smart. He pounds away, mainly using very, very slow offense. Sid keeps grabbing Sting by the throat and shoving him around with relative ease. He adds some stomps as Sting really shouldn’t be in much trouble or pain at this point.

Parker cheats a bit and nothing really comes of it. More stomps as Sid hasn’t gone for anything resembling a kill. Side slam by Sid but no cover of course so Parker chokes a bit more. Sting goes after the Colonel on the floor so Sid goes after him, adding a chair shot so weak that I actually thought the video was in slow motion. Sid drapes him across the railing as this is so slow it’s pitiful.

Off to a chinlock now as I guess that was too much wrestling for Sid’s tastes. The fans chant for either guy as Sting fights up. He walks into a powerslam for two though and it’s off to a bearhug now. Sting gets out of it so we go right back to it. Again he escapes and avoids a big boot before hammering away on Sid. Two Stinger Splashes put Sid down and Parker is dropped for a bit. Parker accidentally grabs Sid’s foot for two. Sting rolls up Sid to thankfully end this.

Rating: D-. Oh this was bad. Sid’s combined time on offense might have added up to three moves that would have done significant damage. This went nowhere at all and was more or less a glorified workout for Sting. Sid would turn face soon after but nearly murder Arn Anderson and end his world title push. Terrible match with Sid doing barely anything at all. You know what this was like? It was like when you see wrestlers on a mainstream TV show and they do the bare bones of moves to try to make it look like a match before the ending. That’s what this was like but on a PPV match.

Vader is warming up.

Cactus seems to be….praying? He keeps saying you can’t hurt Cactus Jack.

WCW International World Title: Ric Flair vs. Rick Rude

Flair has his French maid Fifi with him. Remember that Terry Taylor is the second referee for no apparent reason at all. The big match intros waste some time. Flair gets a bunch of pyro when he’s already in the ring. Jesse: “All that for the challenger?” This is an actual world title so yes, Rude was a world champion. Taylor is on the floor for this so you can write Dusty Finish on this already.

Flair hammers away to start and gives us a WOO. Clothesline in the corner puts Rude down as it’s been all Flair so far. Granted we’re maybe 90 seconds into this. Rude gets a knee up in the corner but misses one off the top. Figure Four attempt works almost immediately and Rude is in trouble. This draws a WHOMP THERE IT IS chant for no apparent reason other than these are some stupid, stupid people.

Rude FINALLY makes the ropes and the hold is broken. Flair wraps his leg around the post as Jesse wonders why Taylor doesn’t stop it. Totally valid question which Tony of course brushes off. Flair works the knee more and Jesse says that he and Tony should wave since they’re on camera. Jesse is hilarious at times he really is.

Flair is sent to the floor to break the hold he had on Rude. He busts out a sunset flip but Rude kneels into it and grabs the ropes which Taylor slaps away so Flair gets two. Rude is knocked to the floor again as this has been one sided. Flair drops a forearm on Rude from the top rope to the floor. When do you ever see that? I guess this is post Bill Watts era. He tries it again but since it already worked once in the year it doesn’t a second time as Rude gets a fist in.

Rude tries to get a chair shot in but Taylor breaks that up. Jesse says Rude is the young one. Flair was old and this is eighteen and a half years ago. Chinlock by Rude which he lets go to gyrate for Fifi. Rude goes up and drops a forearm on Flair’s head for two. The knee injury from earlier slowed up his cover in some nice continuity. Back to the chinlock (reverse chinlock like a camel clutch here).

Flair is sent to the ramp and takes out a cameraman which is always fun to see. Suplex back in gets no cover. Rude goes up and hits the forearm/fist/strike from the top rope. Again why mess with the basics if they work? They chop it out and I think you know who wins that. Rude takes him down with a clothesline for two though and we hit the bearhug. He drops to his knees in this hold for some reason. He gets some covers out of it so I guess that was the idea.

They slug it out for a bit and Flair locks in a sleeper which is broken in seconds. Maybe it wasn’t locked in. Rude goes up a third time but Flair avoids it. Rude Awakening by Flair gets two. Backslide gets two for the challenger. Taylor is the in ring referee now for no apparent reason at all. Flair comes off the top but jumps into the boot of Rude in the dumbest spot in wrestling.

Ok now Anderson is in the ring as referee again. Flair wakes up and goes off on Rude in the corner but Rude gets a weak clothesline. Down goes Anderson so now Taylor should be the in ring referee. Rude hits him by mistake and pulls out the foreign object that won him the title last month. Flair takes him down and gets the object, hitting Rude with it. He drills Rude (no pin for no apparent reason at all) but the outside referee saw it and yes you guessed it IT’S A DUSTY FINISH with Rude keeping the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match itself was boring but then the ending made it even worse. This went twenty minutes and we get a Dusty Finish. Is anything actually going to happen on this show? Like I said another boring match but I’m rating it higher out of pity at this point. Terrible ending and a weak match to set it up means this isn’t anything to talk about.

Rude tries to take Fifi but gets dropped and put in the Figure Four on the ramp.

We go over the rules for a Texas Deathmatch (I guess we found the Big Book O Gimmicks). Here’s the idea: it’s kind of like a Last Man Standing match but not quite. You fight and you go for pins which count anywhere in the building. Then there’s a 30 second rest period (stupid) and THEN the guy that got pinned has ten seconds to get up, meaning you have 40 seconds to get up in theory. Dude, did ANYONE edit the Big Book O Gimmicks?

Vader vs. Cactus Jack

I’m not going through the whole angle again but in short they started fighting in April, Vader injured Jack, Jack is here for revenge. Vader is world champion but this is about revenge and not the title. Jack is just mad over here. He was second to probably only Flair and Sting (arguably only Sting) in popularity at this point.

They go straight to the floor and the fight is on. I remember last year in the WZ Tournament IC said that there was one person that could take Vader in a hardcore match and that was Cactus Jack. This is the proof. Vader misses a punch and hits the post so Jack goes right after it. Chair is brought in but Vader just punches Jack in the head. Cactus is like BRING IT ON and bites Vader.

HARD chair shot to the head of Vader and the champion is in trouble. They actually go into the ring but Vader gets a boot up and drills Cactus with a clothesline. Vader just mauls him in the corner and Cactus is reeling. Out to the ramp goes Jack but he avoids a suplex back into the ring. Somehow he manages to suplex Vader in a rather rare display of strength. Jack is busted open but hits another suplex on the ramp, this time a belly to back variety.

No attempts at covers yet as this has been a major brawl. Race tries to interfere with a chair and gets dropped with ease. Another chair shot to Vader and they go into the graveyard set. They go into a grave with a headstone marked RIP Vader. For some reason there are steps into it which Cactus comes out of. His eye looks AWFUL. Vader comes out of his own grave and is busted open too. There’s a Thriller joke in there somewhere.

A shot with something gets a pin on Vader. Now Vader has 30 seconds to rest and THEN he has to get up. That’s just stupid. Only WCW could take a brutal war and make it this idiotic. Cactus grabs a cactus and drills Vader with it as Vader was up at two. Why is there a cactus in a graveyard in Louisiana? Cactus drops the elbow off the ramp and gets a fall with that. After the resting (some DEATHmatch) Vader is up before two.

Vader wakes up and drills Cactus who fights right back. A table (an actual one and not the WWE style) is set up in the corner. Vader is thrown into it and bounces off which just gets two. Cactus drills him with the table (again doesn’t break. See what I mean?) to knock him to the floor. Cactus tries a sunset flip to the floor which misses so Vader tries to sit on him which fails.

Jack drapes him over the railing and just beats on him. Total war the entire time so far. Into the crowd now and Vader more or less backdrops Cactus into the ringside area again. Chair to the back of Cactus as Harley has a freaking tazer. Vader slams Jack down and hits a pretty decent Vadersault for the pin and a count of like 3. This is why the rest period is stupid: the guy is up to a knee when the count starts.

They go to the ramp again and in perhaps the sickest bump I have ever seen, Cactus tries a sleeper out there but Vader drops backwards onto him. The THUD is absolutely sick and Cactus just stops dead. He ruptured his kidney on that and more or less couldn’t move but he kept going because it would have made him look weak. My jaw actually dropped on that shot.

Vader, nice guy that he is, drills him with a chair as Race wants a DDT on the chair. There it is and Cactus is more or less deceased. No cover as Patrick brings over the trainer for Jack. Wait was there a pin in there that I missed? Vader beats up the medics and there’s the pin. Ok I’m not crazy. During the rest period Cactus DDTs Vader on the chair but as he’s trying to get up Race uses the tazer on the leg (might be nice to turn it on to play it up) of Foley and it’s over.

Rating: A. The ending is the only thing keeping this from an A+. This is an absolute WAR. Other than the rest periods (stupid WCW) there isn’t a single break of action in the whole sixteen minutes of this. Great match and of course since Cactus was over with the fans and having better and better matches, he was thrown into a tag team and more or less forgotten about until he was fired when Hogan arrived next year. Typical WCW.

Jack DDTs Race post match for fun to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh man this was weak. The main event is the ONLY thing there is worth seeing on here. If you like brawls that match is must see. The other two and a half hours shouldn’t be mentioned again. Just a terrible show with the only other highlight being Jesse and Tony’s costumes. Terribly boring show that is typical of WCW in this year. Watch the main event and that’s it. Bischoff was a Civil War soldier if you care for some reason.

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Well it’s the last Fall Brawl that I have left here and WCW is in its dying days here. Yes I know they went on for over a year after this but for all intents and purposes they were done in 2000. There’s no cage at all on this show and I don’t think anyone is going to particularly miss it anyway. Anyway other than that there isn’t much to talk about. Hogan vs. Sting for the title is the main event.  Let’s get to it.

Oh and one other thing: Bischoff was legit fired two days before this show, so let’s see what kind of differences we have here.

The opening video is about who you can trust. Not much to say other than that. Hogan says he’s a changed man and all that jazz. Oh and Luger won’t screw them over. He promises.

The announcers say they don’t know who to trust so that’s what makes this very interesting and all that jazz.

Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Insane Clown Posse/Vampiro

Oh look: it’s the clowns. For some reason these guys kept getting put on major shows and told they were pro wrestlers so they pretend they are and waste a lot of time. The other team is the Filthy Animals apparently. Rey is unmasked with blonde hair here because that money from his mask sales was just not needed here. LONG stall to start because they’re freaking clowns.

Vampy doesn’t have his face painted which is a very weird look for him. They chill on the floor so we don’t have any of that wrestling stuff. White hot crowd. Ok so it’s Kidman against Shaggy 2 Dope. I hate this already. Kidman lets Shaggy get a shot in to start and Kidman is walking him through everything. A reverse Veg-O-Matic hits Shaggy and it’s off to Eddie.

Off to Rey vs. Violent Jay. He’s the bigger one and the blonde guy so it’s easy to tell them apart. Bronco Buster hits Vampiro and it’s off to Kidman. Since having Vampiro would be the best idea for his team, here’s Jay again. And yes I know it’ssupposed to just be the letter J but screw these idiots. DDT to Kidman and it’s off to Vampiro again. He hits a spinwheel kick off the top for two on Kidman.

The heels double team Kidman as Tony says his hair used to be like Vampiro’s. Vampy chops away and it’s off to Shaggy. You can tell very quickly that the clowns have very limited skill and training. They look like the Tough Enough guys going through spots. Rey’s knee is hurt and if I remember right this is legit.

Vampiro works over Rey for a bit more until it’s off to Eddie. Let the chopping begin! Vampy gets a nice spin kick to take Eddie down as it’s back to the clowns. Shaggy TOTALLY misses a top rope legdrop but gets two anyway. Eddie cleans house but Shaggy and Vampiro hit the absolute worst 3D you will ever see.

Shaggy was doing Bubba’s part and drops Eddie about two feet above the mat, more or less making it a very modified Samoan Drop by Vampiro. GET THESE GUYS OUT OF THE FREAKING RING BEFORE THEY KILL SOMEONE. Everything breaks down and it’s 3-2 due to Rey’s knee injury. The Shooting Star ends Vampiro finally.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where you have to praise one set of guys for the good stuff and blame the rest on the others. Point blank: the clowns don’t belong in the ring. They’re not good, they’re not interesting, they’re not wrestlers and they have zero business being out there. That being said, naturally they got time on all four major companies’ shows because someone hates me.

We recap the Cruiserweight Title match which is basically Lenny Lane as a gay guy who is champion defending against Kaz Hayashi who is the flavor of the month.

Cruiserweight Title: Lenny vs. Kaz Hayashi

In what may or may not be a great way to set this up, Kaz was facing Lodi and rolled up Lenny when he interfered to pin him and earn the title shot. Lenny and Lodi are the West Hollywood Blondes now and they’re just flat out gay characters now. Lenny does the stereotypical Rico-style stuff and it’s official that we have a comedy match. Kaz sends him to the floor and Lenny literally jumps into Lodi’s arms like he’s about to be carried over a threshold.

Kaz dives onto them and takes over in the ring. Lenny drops him down and does the whole sexy pin thing. Pretty nice gutwrench powerbomb gets two. Lenny goes to the floor and Kaz hits a huge tope con hilo to take over again. And never mind as Lodi gets a shot in to take over again and give Lenny two. Off to the chinlock to waste some time now.

Kaz gets a rana for two but walks into a bulldog for two. Belly to back shifts the momentum back to Hayashi. This is an awkward match to say the least. Kaz gets a pretty awesome slingshot bulldog for two and sets for his finisher, whatever that is. It’s something off the top apparently. Lenny reverses, only to get caught in a Ligerbomb out of the corner for two. Rana out of the corner gets two. Kaz sends the blondes into each other and gets a victory roll for two. Lodi interferes for two but the distraction is enough to let Lenny hit a Skull Crushing Finale to end it.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible but it was certainly awkward for almost the entire thing. The ending was better but at the same time it was far more like a collection of spots rather than a match. That was a problem for Cruiserweights and with lower level guys like these, that’s not good. Not a terrible match or anything, but just kind of weak. Lenny would be stripped of the title by Turner Sports because they didn’t like his character, resulting in them finally saying Psicosis is champion just because we say so.

Sting comes out to the ring for a full on promo. In short he’s a lone wolf (or is it lobster) and isn’t friends with Luger. Flexy Lexy needs to stay out of the ring tonight so we’ll have him penciled in for run-in #3. Oh and this is business, not personal with Hogan. Say it with me: heel turn.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.

Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?

Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.

The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.

Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is now a heel and all “rough” or something like that. Oh and the Steiners are all cool again. Steiner is champion and Saturn is in the Revolution. Take a guess as to what happens here. Steiner takes him down to the match rather quickly as we’re told Buff Bagwell isn’t here yet but there’s a replacement for him who will be named later.

Saturn gets his spinning legdrop for no cover. Suicide dive takes out Steiner and Saturn hammers away. No real reason for this match other than Saturn has been deemed a challenger. We touch on the death of referee Mark Curtis (Brian Hilldebrand) who passed away earlier in the week. Everyone is wearing a black armband because of it which is always cool to see.

Out to the floor and Saturn is sent into the steps. Bad DDT on the floor puts Saturn down even more. Other than a brief flourish at the beginning it’s been all Steiner because that’s what he does. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to sell for anyone. That would imply that someone young could be better than him and the people might somehow care about him even less. Perish the thought!

German sends Saturn flying. Off to a chinlock so that Rick can have a little breather. Off to a half crab as this is rather boring indeed. Saturn slaps the mat but we’re not going to call that a tap out because that’s not the planned ending. Back to the half crab which isn’t even cranked on. Basically he’s just got his leg up in the air a bit. Give me a break. Belly to belly gets no cover for Rick.

There’s another belly to belly and Saturn is down. Rick yells at a fan and Saturn is able to get a middle rope dropkick to take Steiner down. T-bone suplex gets two for the former Perry. And never mind that as Steiner takes him down with a powerslam for two. Death Valley Driver, Saturn’s finisher, gets two also. Saturn calls for the Rings of Saturn but instead goes for another DVD which is shrugged off. Steiner Bulldog is broken up but the second attempt hits so Steiner can retain. Give me another break.

Rating: D-. No one, I mean NO ONE, cared about Rick Steiner at this point. Therefore the obvious solution is to give him the TV Title for four months. He would lose it to Benoit the next night, so why in the freaking world wouldn’t you just do the title change here???? Oh that’s right: Benoit has to job to Sid because Heaven knows Sid is the guy that needs the US Title more than Benoit right? I freaking give up.

Here’s Hogan, saying he’s a good guy now and won’t stab anyone in the back. Oh and if anyone wants him, come get him. There are run-ins #1 and #2 for later I presume. The fans chant for Flair, who isn’t here I don’t think.

We recap what was supposed to be Berlyn vs. Bagwell. Berlyn is Alex Wright as a crazy ticked off German with a Mohawk and The Wall (get it?) as his bodyguard. Bagwell didn’t like him so that was your match. Then Bagwell didn’t want to lose and refused to go out to lose. Of course he did. The Berlyn character was delayed due to Columbine, so this was supposed to happen back in the spring.

Berlyn vs. ???

The replacement is Jim Duggan of all people. Berlyn jumps him in the corner and can’t put him down with a dropkick. Duggan starts a comeback after not being on defense for the most part. Clotheslines put Berlyn on the floor. Duggan massacres him for the most part. Remember that this is Berlyn’s debut. Berlyn hits a clothesline, Duggan won’t stay down. They slug it out and Duggan still won’t sell anything.

The fans want Flair and are rather patriotic at the same time. Off to a chinlock which Duggan at least sits still for, at least for a few seconds. Duggan fights up and stays on offense. Seriously, the guy won’t stay down more than like 2 seconds off any move. He does the whole nothing hurts him walk (as opposed to standing there and letting nothing hurt him) and dear goodness help me they’re trying technical stuff.

I think it would be a bit better to go out and watch a bunch of puppies get massacred. This is horrid and somehow gets even more boring. Another chinlock gets us nowhere because Duggan won’t sell anything, not even with facial expressions. Duggan hammers away even more and Wall pulls back the mats on the floor. A HORRIBLE neckbreaker finally ends this. Duggan was going to take it like a Stunner so Berlyn had to say “turn around” to end it. Horrid, horrid match.

Rating: G. As in GO AWAY DUGGAN. This was awful and the majority of that can be blamed on Duggan. If he won’t sell for Berlyn, how in the world can you expect the character to be taken seriously? Terrible match and oddly enough the second time this has happened to Wright.

Bagwell “arrives” and comes out to hug Duggan, who isn’t happy. I’m not either but I’m not getting a paycheck like he is either so there we are.

Video on how Harlem Heat is back together. They were champions again and then the Rednecks got them because that’s how WCW rolls. That of course all happened in less than a month, because WCW decided we needed NINETEEN TITLE CHANGES in 1999.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. West Texas Rednecks

The Rednecks are Barry and Kendall Windham with Hennig in their corner. They’re country singers and that’s about it. The Windhams are legit brothers. Booker vs. Kendall to start us off and Kendall bails to avoid a spin kick. Heat double teams Kendall and it’s off to Stevie. Now Stevie won’t sell anything. Naturally this is probably going to be praised, because WCW needs more guys to no sell so their other guys look bad right?

Barry comes in to hit a DDT for no cover. How he went from being as totally awesome as he was at one point to being here now is amazing. Odd to see two pairs of brothers here. Actually it isn’t but there isn’t much to talk about here. Hennig gets in a shot to make sure that Kendall can get a two count on Stevie. Stevie gets a powerslam out of nowhere to put Barry down.

Double tag brings in Kendall and Booker with the more famous one doing what he can. Down goes Hennig and Kendall does the same a second after. The double teaming begins on the floor as Booker gets caught. Off to the chinlock on Booker by Kendall as the fans chant for the Heat. That’s better than nothing I guess. Axe kick hits but it would have been a bit better if Kendall had waited until it actually hit to go down.

Spinarooni is broken up by Barry and it’s back to the floor for Booker. More double teaming continues and it’s back in to Barry. Barry gets a middle rope superplex (his old finisher) but Stevie makes the save. If this sounds really boring, I’m getting better at this emotion thing in the writing. Kendall gets a lariat mostly to the neck for two. Booker gets his sunset flip out of the corner for two.

The heels double team a lot, as you would expect from a team with an old school guy like Barry. There’s a sleeper to Barry as this is probably on the verge of ending. Back off to Kendall who hits a weak middle rope clothesline for one. Classic old school spot as the referee misses the hot tag. Stevie beats up everyone anyway and everything breaks down. Hennig hits Ray in the head with a cowbell but the referee won’t count BECAUSE HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION!!!! WOW!!!!! Booker is still legal so the missile dropkick he hits gets the tag titles back.

Rating: D+. Match was weak but this is a fine sign of what Bischoff not being around means: the ending made perfect sense for a change and was actually kind of creative. No one cared about the match though, because we had seen it just a few weeks ago on Nitro. Nothing of note at all, as you could say about most matches tonight.

Recap of Benoit vs. Sid. Sid was doing the whole imitating Goldberg’s Streak deal and Benoit challenged him. Benoit is US Champion and part of the Revolution. You figure out what’s going to happen here.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious

Oh and Revolution’s theme song is a cover of The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. Just to hammer in WCW’s refusal to push young guys, Benoit and Malenko were having a #1 contenders match so Sid ran in to make it a no contest. He’s 79-0 at this point, with wins coming through means such as just chokeslamming people and not pinning them, beating people up in brawls and beating people up despite losing the match by countout or something like that. Go figure.

Sid throws Benoit around a lot and then stalls. Benoit gets tossed even more and then, like a good ring general, goes for the knee of a bigger man. Makes perfect sense right? He gets a dragon screw, a dropkick to the knee, some cannonballs down onto the knee and an Indian Deathlock in the span of about a minute. After all that, Sid popped up and was completely fine. It’s going to be one of those matches.

Sid stomps away in the corner with his knee being just fine. Benoit avoids a charge and goes to the floor, wrapping the leg around the post and then putting it between the steps and post, dropkicking the steps into the leg twice. That’s an attack that would put some guys out for weeks. Ok so to be clear: SID’S LEG SHOULD BE HURT. Back into the ring and Sid is able to catch Benoit flying through the air in a cross body. Benoit counters into a German and Sid flat out will not sell the knee at all.

Samoan Drop and the knee is still perfectly fine. Oh NOW he limps a bit, after destroying Benoit. By a bit I mean he kicks the ropes a few times and it perfectly fine. There’s a Cobra Clutch into a slam by Sid. That gets two so Sid hammers away on him and it’s off to the chinlock. The fans get distracted by something as Sid FINALLY starts to limp. You know, after he threw Benoit all over the place.

Sid goes for some power move but Benoit reverses and gets his feet up in the corner. Back to the knee and there’s the Crossface. Now as I’m sure you know, there’s a simple way of communicating that you want to submit and end the match: you slap the mat multiple times. This is commonly known as tapping out. SID SLAPS THE MAT TWICE. However that doesn’t count despite the referee looking straight at him and being maybe 5 inches from Sid’s tapping hand.

Benoit is TICKED as Sid stands up while the hold is still on and drags Benoit to the ropes. Remember the hold is on and Sid is on his feet. Gee it’s a good thing his legs are in such great shape isn’t it? Benoit goes up, Swan Dive misses and Sid casually moves out of the way and then snaps off a powerbomb with his arm and knee being just fine as he wins the US Title. Benoit would get the TV Title the next night and a WWF contract four months later as a result.

Rating: F. This stands for failure, because that’s what this was. First and foremost let me make this clear: Benoit did nothing wrong here. Not a thing. His psychology was good (take the big man off his feet), his offense was good (variety of attacks), his emotion was good, everything he did made sense and worked fine.

Then on the other hand we have Sid. This is the epitome of the problem with WCW and arguably the main reason they went under: Sid could have gone out there and tap danced for the 12 minutes this match had while Benoit put on the wrestling clinic of a lifetime and Sid’s push would have continued while Benoit would have been pushed back down the card. The reason for this being that Sid has been decided to be one of the “it” guys. He’s 39 here (Benoit was 32), he will not sell the knee making Benoit more or less a pointless jobber here, and he can’t do anything special in the ring at all.

And yet he’s going to get pushed. Why is that you ask? Because someone in WCW decided he would with no reason other than Sid gets pushed. Benoit was put in the list of people that weren’t getting pushed and that was that. So in other words, there’s no point for the young guys to try hard because it’s not going to get them anywhere. Sid of course would go on to be pushed even harder, winning the world title in January while Benoit thankfully left for the WWF. This match is a lot sadder than it sounds because Benoit is trying but Sid just won’t cooperate, which makes his push all the stupider.

We recap DDP vs. Goldberg with Page as the heel, working with the original Jersey Triad. Page beat Goldberg with a chair and that’s about it.

Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This is more or less a midcard match because Goldberg had his time so it’s time for the REAL draws in the form of old Sting and old Hogan to run things here. So just to be clear here, Goldberg is 32 years old and has one loss against roughly 240 wins in his WCW career. He’s ridiculously popular and here he is in a midcard feud. Seriously, I want to know: how did WCW make money at one point?

The referee checks them for objects and finds a chain on Page. Page shoves the referee away and drops a roll of half dollars. Ok that was funny. Page is knocked to the floor quickly and comes back in for a feeling out process, only to get knocked all over the place for his efforts. Page is knocked to the floor again as it doesn’t seem like they know what their plan is here, which is unheard of for a Page match.

Page gets a shot in as Goldberg comes in again but can’t get the Diamond Cutter. Powerslam gets no cover for Goldberg. Page pulls out a third object which the referee didn’t find to hammer Billy Boy in the head and take over. The fans LOUDLY chant for Goldberg and pop even louder when he gets in some punches. Page drills him with the object again and the referee is cool with it I guess.

Off to the chinlock on the mat as Page cheats even more which this referee somehow still can’t see. I know the joke is that they’re blind but how can you manage to believe this isn’t being seen? Goldberg Goldbergs Up and even hits a big boot to complete the joke. Page gets a horrible jumping tornado DDT to get two and break the momentum though which is kind of surprising actually.

Another weapon shot sets up a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Here’s the rest of the Triad to cheat and that doesn’t work. Spear and Jackhammer end this like three seconds later. Oh and the last weapon shot made Goldberg legit bleed from the neck. Freaking ow man. Well at least it’s over I guess.

Rating: D. Remember when Page was one of the most awesome things in the world and more or less couldn’t be beaten? This is nothing like that. Page as a heel is awful, especially when he’s getting destroyed by someone like Goldberg. This was a weak match all around and no one bought that Page had a chance at all, which he didn’t.

We recap Sting vs. Hogan. Hogan says he’s a new man (despite being the old version of him) and then Luger says he has proof that Hogan is lying through his teeth. There was a Hummer that was trying to run Nash over a few months earlier and no one knew who was driving it (despite Sting being seen in the driver’s seat of it at one point) so Luger says it was Hogan (despite this Hummer being white and the original one being black). This would go nowhere, despite it being implied that Sid was revealed as the driver earlier in the year. It would be touched on AGAIN in April when it was implied it was Bischoff driving.

Anyway, Sting was found out cold on the floor and Luger blamed Hogan, despite Hogan swearing it wasn’t him. This is actually a lot more like the angle in 1995 that got dropped because Hogan got bored with it I guess and went back to fighting the Dungeon of Doom and the Horsemen until Hall debuted. Not that it matters or anything but Buffer takes forever to do an intro and I need something to pass the time.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan is champion and is in red and yellow while Sting is kind of a tweener. They shake hands before the match and you can feel Sting’s heel turn coming. Here’s Bret before the match starts, wanting to wish them luck. He couldn’t do this as they come past the Gorilla Position? He actually leaves without doing anything. Thanks for wasting about two minutes there Bret.

They lock up on the ropes and the referee has to split them up. Hogan grabs a rollup for one. They actually wrestle a bit, blowing the minds of everyone. It’s slow but it’s not horrible I guess. Hogan takes him into the corner and strikes away a lot in a variety of methods. A pair of elbow drops gets two. Hogan gets a suplex which is no sold by Sting.

They hit the floor and it’s Hogan in control still. Why do I have a feeling this is Bound For Glory this year (2011)? He takes Sting down and drops more elbows, only for Sting to send him into the railing to take over. Back into the ring and Hogan hits a belly to back suplex for two. Off to a surfboard as Sting is in some trouble here. There’s an abdominal stretch to crank up the difficulty.

There’s a back rake by Hogan as this is going so slowly and no one in the building believes there’s going to be a clean ending. Ten punches in the corner set up some biting of Sting’s cranial area. Sting gets a cross body for two. A pair of Stinger Splashes hit out of nowhere but the third one misses and it’s Hulk Up time.

He hits the big boot and leg but here’s DDP to deck the referee and Diamond Cut Hogan, which only gets two. Diamond Cutter for the referee and Hogan stares DDP down but here’s Bret Hart to take out Page. Everyone but Hogan goes to the floor and here’s Sid who is sent out quickly. Luger is here with a ball bat but Hogan gets him too. Sting gets the bat and Hogan says Luger was the one. Sting drills Hogan with the bat to a huge face pop and the Scorpion gives Sting the win over the unconscious Hogan. That was supposed to be a heel turn but the standing ovation seems to make that feel like a failure.

Rating: D. They tried to wrestle and then proved why they shouldn’t be doing that. The whole thing didn’t work for the most part and the heel turn at the end was downright hilarious because no one wanted Sting as a heel. The people flat out aren’t going to boo him and it’s a waste of time to get them to try. This was another example of WCW having no idea what to do with the world title and it failing completely. This went nowhere and Sting would lose the title next month.

Overall Rating: F. Failure on all levels here as there weren’t any good matches, the ending sucked for the most part and they managed to bury an entire group in one night. Anyway, this whole show didn’t work, much like the entirety of 1999. The company was more or less dead at this point so they were trying whatever they could to make things work, such as turning Sting heel, which wasn’t going to work at all. Anyway, horrible show, much like the rest of the year was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fnkrf|var|u0026u|referrer|btneb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Stampede 1998
Date: April 19, 1998
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 7,428
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

The opening video is about the power struggle in the NWO. Sting is there too but why waste time on the guy you spent all of 1997 building up as the great hope for WCW?

Savage has had the cast removed from his arm and the main event is now No DQ just because.

Perry Saturn vs. Goldberg

Ultimo Dragon vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Diamond Dallas Page is on WCW.com, talking about going from pinning Savage a year ago to the US Title match here tonight.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

The referee is helped from the ring.

Curt Hennig vs. British Bulldog

The slow motion continues as Bulldog is hitting the leg about twice a minute before going for the Sharpshooter. A cop, who is clearly Vincent, goes after Neidhart and gets choked down, allowing Rude to get a key and unlock himself. Neidhart is cuffed to the post as Hennig escapes the hold and sends Bulldog into the post for the pin, meaning the stuff outside accomplished absolutely nothing.

Bulldog and Neidhart get beaten down as the bell rings a lot, making this segment even more annoying.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Prince Iaukea

Off to a headlock on Jericho but he flips out, only to be caught in the headlock again. Back up and Jericho shoulder blocks him down but walks into a dropkick. Really basic stuff so far and Iaukea hooks another headlock. Jericho tries to skin the cat but gets dropkicked to the floor, followed by a flip dive off the apron from the Prince. Back in and we hit the headlock again because Iaukea is running out of offense.

Jericho drop toeholds him into the ropes and suplexes Iaukea down for two. Time for a chinlock because this match was starting to get slightly entertaining. Jericho slams him down and does his big strut. He takes WAY too long on the top rope and jumps into the feet, giving Prince control again. A Samoan drop and a springboard flip attack gets two but Jericho counters a victory roll into the Liontamer, only to have Iaukea next to the ropes.

Raven quotes Shakespeare to WCW.com.

Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger/Rick Steiner

Scott comes in while Rick is down and chokes a bit before bringing Buff back in. Buff slams him down and grabs the “injured” hand before getting two. Back to Scott who gets two but runs back to Buff at the kickout. Buff hooks the chinlock but lets it go to argue with the referee.

Call the hotline to find out who is in the back!

La Parka vs. Psychosis

The announcers talk for awhile to fill in even more time. Heenan goes into some analogy comparing Savage to a wounded dog with a long series of examples. Now they talk about the tension in the NWO and how it might be a big swerve.

The Giant/Roddy Piper vs. Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash

Kev walks away to pose but Giant snaps to his feet, setting up a double big boot to put both giants down. The double tag brings in Piper to face Hogan with Roddy pounding away to take over. Nash comes in and gets a low blow as everything breaks down. Giant dropkicks Nash to the floor as Piper puts Hogan in the sleeper. Piper goes up and gets the bat but Hogan knocks it out of his hands and throws it away.

Hogan tells Nash to powerbomb Giant but whacks Nash in the back with the bat, basically throwing him out of the NWO. Giant breaks the bat over his knee and swears vengeance on Hogan.

Slamboree ad, which they try to make sound more epic than Starrcade. Side note: why did WCW have so many PPVs that began with the letter S? Souled Out, SuperBrawl, Spring Stampede, Slamboree, Starrcade.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Raven bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter and the fight heads up to the set. Page throws Raven off a stagecoach into some bails of hay before diving off said coach to take Raven down. Raven is thrown into a corral and beaten down by a trashcan. Now Raven goes through another wooden fence and suplexed onto the website table. Page is kicked into a wall and Raven blasts him in the head with a piece of metal.

The announcers basically guarantee that Goldberg is winning the title tomorrow night.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Randy Savage

They head back to the floor because neither guy is interested in having a match at the moment. Savage is suplexed on the floor and sent into the barricade. Sting heads back inside but Randy hits him low and drapes him over the top rope for two. Savage clotheslines Sting into the referee before piledriving the champion down.

The last shot of the show is Hogan yelling that Savage has his belt and that Nash will pay.

Back to the motorcycle place and to the shock of everyone, Hogan ISN’T champion! He lost the title to Luger on Monday just before this match. That’s always been surprising because you would think they would just have Sting break the year and a half reign. Instead they went with this which is questionable but it was a bit of a breather at least. There isn’t much else to talk about here so let’s get to it.

Harlem Heat vs. Vicious and Delicious

That’s Norton and Bagwell. Buff and Booker get us going here. Booker hooks the arm but Bagwell dropkicks him into the corner and it’s off to Norton. Ray comes in for a power vs. power brawl and Norton gets slammed. Back to Booker for a suplex which gets two but a spin kick is countered into a kind of powerbomb. Buff cleans house for some reason but Booker knocks him to the outside.

Booker hooks a chinlock which is a heel move but since they’re against the NWO, wouldn’t that make them faces? Bagwell fights up and hits a clothesline to set up the tag to Norton. Stevie breaks up the tag as I can’t get over the heel/face dynamic being so backwards here. Cue Jackie to really make this match great. Harlem Heat had been promising a surprise before this and I guess it’s her.

Bagwell comes back from the beating with a powerbomb of all things and it’s off to Norton off a hot (?) tag. Vincent’s interference fails so Ray beats him up. Norton hits Booker with the shoulderbreaker but Jackie interferes enough to let Booker side kick Norton down for the pin. What an odd match.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the idea here was but it really didn’t work all that well. First of all, the heel/face dynamic was completely backwards here, as the NWO team wrestled as faces. Harlem Heat wrestled as heels and had Bagwell in trouble most of the time, plus Norton got a hot tag and the Heat had a manager interfere. Oh and Jackie sucks but you already know that. I don’t know what was going on here but it didn’t work.

DiBiase talks about how awesome his team of Steiners are.

Konnan vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is a Mexican Death Match, which I think means knockout or submission only. Konnan is NWO also. Apparently it’s a Mexican Grudge Death Match and it’s No DQ. That’s the only rule apparently. Rey has a bad leg coming in. He speeds things up to start and hits a springboard missile dropkick to take over. That’s quite a leg injury. Konnan drops him on the buckle and hits a clothesline to the back of Rey’s head to take him down.

Konnan hooks a leg lock and Rey screams a lot. Mysterio gets sent to the floor and tries to jump over Konnan to come back in, but he hurts his knee again. A chopblock puts Rey down again and it’s time to crank on the leg. The leg work continues for awhile as there’s not much to say. Konnan puts on leg hold #19 and goes after Rey’s mask. A powerbomb puts Rey down so he can get a better attempt at it.

Konnan gets the mask off but can’t get it completely off, so Rey gets in a weak shot to the ribs and puts the mask back on. Rey’s offense is pretty bad due to the injured leg and his double springboard moonsault misses badly. Konnan kicks the knee out again and this needs to end soon. There’s a modified Stump Puller (he puts Rey’s legs in figure four position but sits Rey up and sits on the neck, pulling back on Mysterio’s legs) but it keeps going as Konnan gets bored. Mysterio comes back with a quick rollup for two. Rey goes up but gets caught in a cradle DDT and the Tequila Sunrise for the tap.

Rating: D+. So why was this no DQ again? It was never mentioned or used at all. The leg work was ok enough and the match wasn’t all that bad, but for a DEATH match, there wasn’t anything deadly about it at all. If this were a regular match it would have been ok enough, but don’t add the gimmick names if there’s nothing special about them.

Mean Gene has gotten a tattoo. My goodness.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

This is an elimination tag for no apparent reason. The Horsemen feud is STILL going on and mainly is between Jarrett and McMichael, neither of whom got over because of it. Jarrett and Benoit start and Jarrett wants little to do with that so it’s time for Dean. Benoit runs him over and Dean slows things down. That doesn’t last long as Benoit starts running again, but misses an enziguri. Dean misses an elbow and it’s a standoff.

They fight over a victory roll and Dean gets two off a small package. Benoit tags in Mongo who charges into a drop toehold. Dean hits the ropes but gets kicked in the back for the Horsemen to take over. They keep alternating on him for a few minutes with Mongo using a variety of side slams, which are some of the only moves he was decent at. Jarrett runs from Mongo as Mongo tries a tackle at Dean. Malenko jumps over him and makes the tag to Jarrett, who is terrified.

Jeff, the US Champion, comes in and pulls Mongo on top of himself and intentionally gets pinned. THE US CHAMPION PEOPLE! So now it’s a handicap match so Dean goes crazy to start, grabbing some fast rollups. Benoit reverses a tombstone and hits the Swan Dive but it’s back to Mongo for more beating. Tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: C-. Everything without Jarrett in there was fine. When Mongo is better than you in a match, you need to get out. Thankfully Jarrett would jump to the WWF in about two months. This country music entrance that he had and all the stuff with Miss Debra didn’t work AT ALL, so they pushed it for the better part of a year. It just dragged everything down and no one ever cared. Jeff didn’t get interesting until he became a jerk with short hair in 1998. Then he was bearable.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Wright is champion. Feeling out process to start with Wright running to the ropes. The fans chant gay slurs at him as the feeling out continues. Jericho charges at Wright which gets him nowhere. Some chops and right hands put Wright down on the floor and we stall some more. Back in Wright grabs a headlock which is quickly broken and Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to send Wright back to the floor.

As Alex comes back in, Jericho crotches him and hits the springboard dropkick to send him to the floor for a third time. Jericho finally gets bored and dives out to the floor to take Wright down. Wright sends him into the steps to take over and adds a suplex on the outside. Coming back in, Jericho LAUNCHES him off the top with a slam which gets two. Off to a headlock by the challenger. He goes to the arm instead as things slow down.

Wright comes back and counters a leapfrog with another spinwheel kick. The champ dances again as Dusty says a win here could drive a stake into the heart of the NWO. Ok then. Alex takes forever to set up a moonsault and Jericho rolls away. Lionsault hits Wright’s back but he adds a senton backsplash before getting two. Jericho’s double powerbomb gets a delayed two. Wright grabs a suplex for two and Jericho counters the German suplex into a cradle for the same. Wright reverses a rollup into one of his own with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was slow paced for the most part but it was ok. The ending however sucked and it keeps up with the running theme of the night: not a horrible match but it’s nothing that you would ever want to see again. It’s also not great but it could have been far worse. That makes it the worst kind of match: just ok and mostly boring.

Syxx vs. Ric Flair

After a lot of stalling and taunting, we get an armdrag and it’s time for more stalling. Syxx controls a bit but misses a charge to send himself to the floor. Flair slows it down and Syxx does some of his usual stuff. Flair chops him down but Syxx comes back with a spin kick to the back of the head to take him down. Bronco Buster hits and it’s off to a chinlock. This is a really boring match so far.

Guillotine legdrop gets two. Back to the chinlock as this match needs to end already. We go to a wide shot of the crowd because the director is getting bored of the match too. Flair starts his comeback with his strikes but Syxx hits an enziguri to take him down. A flip dive misses and it’s time to go for the knee. Figure Four goes on but Syxx is in the ropes. Buzzkiller (Crossface chickenwing) is broken up so here’s another Bronco Buster. Flair puts his foot into Syxx’s crotch, rolls him up and uses the feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This went nowhere at all and was full of rest holds that didn’t do anything to excite the crowd. Syxx was so boring around this time as he knew he didn’t have to do anything because he was friends with the big shots. Also great to see Flair wasted on a midcard match instead of putting over some young guy. Very boring match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

This is a grudge match for some reason. We get a very quick brawl on the floor before they head back in for the bell. It’s a slugout to begin and Page spins Hennig around BY HIS HAIR. Hennig gets to do his slide into the post balls first spot. Page goes up but Curt falls onto the ropes to crotch him. There’s the necksnap and Hennig puts on a spinning toehold.

A quick sleeper is broken up by Page and he hooks a spinning sunset flip for two. Hennig clotheslines him down for two. A kickout lands on the referee so Hennig takes off the buckle pad. Page gets rammed into it but there’s no cover. Perfectplex gets two. Page starts his comeback and loads up the Pancake, but Hennig’s foot hits the referee. Cue Flair who comes off the top but walks into the Diamond Cutter. Another Perfectplex gets the pin. Page can kick his feet but can’t lift a free shoulder?

Rating: C. This was just ok and it’s pretty easily the best match of the night. Page and Hennig had good chemistry but there wasn’t much to do here. Flair coming in didn’t help anything at all but he was recruiting Hennig into the Horsemen which eventually resulted in what else? Hennig joining the NWO. Not a bad match but this show is pretty much beyond saving at this point.

Call the Hotline!

Promo from the NWO. It’s one of their pretaped deals.

According to Tony, the next three matches are the biggest in WCW history.

The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Nothing special to the match, but it’s the third biggest match in company history at worst. That would include being ahead of Luger winning the title on Monday I guess. Savage is NWO and Giant is one of WCW’s main soldiers against him. Savage stalls like the true Memphis man that he is. He gets in and tries to slam Giant which fails of course. Giant works him over with his usual power stuff until Savage heads to the floor.

That goes badly for him as well with Giant picking up the human shield known as Liz and moving her to the other side. Back in Savage takes out the knee and gets Giant down. He wraps the knee around the post and stomps on the knee some more. Double ax gets two but the second attempt is countered into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash but that’s ok for the most part. Giant would move on to feuding with Nash soon after this in one of the stupidest and most pathetic displays I can remember in a long time. Anyway, the match was short enough to keep from getting boring which is more than I can say for the rest of the show.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

So here it is. After seven months of screwjobs, cheating finishes, no matches and everything else, the Outsiders have to face the Steiners for the titles. There is no reason for anything but new champions (the Outsiders are defending) here, so you should know what’s coming already. The Steiners come out on motorcycles, so let’s look at the fireworks instead! Scott and Scott get us going. For the sake of sanity during this match, Scott Hall will only be called Hall and Scott Steiner will only be called Scott.

Hall punches him down but Scott comes back with a butterfly suplex and everything breaks down. The Steiners clear the ring and they do their pose. Off to Rick vs. Nash with the giant trying Snake Eyes, only to get reversed into a suplex to put him down. Off to Scott but Hall’s distraction allows Nash to kick his head off and take over. Nash does the running crotch attack to the ropes and Scott is in trouble.

Off to Hall who hits his fallaway slam for two. Abdominal stretch goes on and the Outsiders cheat of course. Hall knocks Scott off the apron and it’s more dominance by the champions. Back to Nash for some chinlockery. Now for a change of pace, Hall comes in to give us the exact same thing. Scott picks Hall up and drops him down with an electric chair. Nash breaks up the tag again and Scott’s beating continues.

Big boot gets two. Nash does the leg choke in the corner but another big boot (this one with the left leg for some reason) misses. Scott can’t make the tag as Hall comes in with an elbow to the back. Outsider Edge is escaped and Scott hits a belly to belly to put both guys down. Hot tag to Rick and house is cleaned. Here comes the Steiner Bulldog to Hall and Nash pulls the referee out for the DQ. Yes, that’s the real ending.

Rating: D. Screw it. Seriously SCREW THIS COMPANY. There is ZERO reason at all to do this other than for the sake of screwing over the fans and the Steiners and keeping the belts on the Outsiders because they want them. The Steiners would win the titles in a few months (on Nitro of course) and no one cared because THEY SHOULD HAVE WON HERE. There is no reason for the titles to not change here that isn’t a service job for the NWO. Just freaking stupid and a big part of why the company was starting to reach trouble.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s strange seeing the title on Luger for the first time. He never wore that belt back in the day despite chasing Flair for it for about four years. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading power moves. Luger runs him over so Hogan grabs the arm. Now Luger grabs Hogan’s arm. A few arm drags send Hogan to the floor and we take a breather on the floor. Back in the ring Hogan sends him into the corner and takes some control.

A slam and elbow drop get two. Off to a chinlock about six minutes into this. That’s a bit early no? Luger blocks a ram into the buckles and gives Hogan ten for his effort. Out to the floor and Hogan chokes away with a cord. We head back in and Hogan chokes in there instead. Off to a bearhug which evolves into the test of strength, which ends with a low blow to Lex.

Hogan is basically out of offense now so he just smacks Luger around with really basic slaps to various parts of the head. Big boot gets two. Luger no sells a suplex and makes his comeback but Luger takes him right back down. The legdrop misses and Lex fires off his clotheslines. Cue the NWO and despite three of them getting in the ring and a fourth getting on the apron, that isn’t a DQ. Cue Sting (the announcers are sure that it’s the real one, even though he’s black) who hits Luger with the bat and the legdrop gives Hogan the title back.

Rating: F+. Whatever here man. It’s a bad ending to a bad show. Hogan clearly had no business being out there for 16 minutes because he didn’t have anything to use after the end of his five move offense. The title change on Monday meant nothing and the ending here is stupid due to the announcers not noticing the incredible tan that Sting has gotten I guess.

It’s Dennis Rodman of course. The last eight minutes or so are the announcers freaking out and Hogan celebrating. Oh and they spraypaint the belt in the back and initiate Rodman into the NWO.

Overall Rating: F. You know until the end of this, I would have been ok with just saying that this was boring but not all that bad. Then they had the two IDIOT endings like they did which was more of the same. It was clear by this point that the NWO was about to cripple the company. Based on this it’s no surprise that the WWF would be starting to draw closer.

It wouldn’t happen for about 8 months, but once the WWF took over again, they wouldn’t let go (mostly) because WCW was that stupid. This is a great example of it, although the tag match is much worse than the main event from a booking perspective. The main event’s booking makes sense due to Sting in December, but the wrestling was just awful. Terrible show.

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