Souled Out 1998
Date: January 24, 1998
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,486
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

We’re a month removed from Starrcade and there’s no world champion at the moment due to the screwy events of Starrcade and the Nitro that followed. WCW has promised an announcement on the title situation tonight instead of an actual match because why have the match when you can drag it out for another month? The main event tonight is Flair vs. Hart in a well built up feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is Bischoff surrounded by candles in what looks like a demonic ceremony as videos play of Nash vs. Giant. Bischoff says he’s looking to buy more souls because the devil hath no fury like Souled Out. It’s remarkable how much better these videos were back in the 90s than the generic ones we see today.

The announcers preview the main events. The set is as basic as you can get but unique at the same time: it’s just a stand alone video screen and the wrestlers walk out from behind it. It’s a cool set up.

Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo/Lizmark Jr./Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. La Parka/Psychosis/Silver King/El Dandy

This is under lucha libre rules, meaning going to the floor is the same as a tag. These matches are always insane so bear with me when things get nuts. Calo and Psychosis get things going with Calo armdragging him to the floor. No one replaces Psychosis so he comes back in to chop Calo down and drops an elbow for no cover. Calo climbs Psychosis’ chest in the corner and powerbombs him down for two before it’s off to Lizmark vs. Silver King. King misses a dropkick in the corner and Lizmark backflips away.

A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two for Lizmark but King comes right back with a running DDT. Off to El Dandy vs. Chavo with Guerrero monkey flipping Dandy from the corner before being taken down by a backdrop. A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and it’s off to La Parka vs. Juvy who both dive at the guys on the floor. They fight on the apron for a bit before Juvy’s springboard is caught in mid air by La Parka. The skeleton man (La Parka) struts around and sits Juvy in Guerrera’s corner before being pounded by Juvy’s partners.

Guerrera hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to take La Parka to the floor. Lizmark comes in with a top rope standing Lionsault for two on Psychosis but El Dandy comes in without a tag. Things are quickly breaking down with Calo getting two off a top rope headscissors on Dandy. Silver King comes in with a somersault legdrop for two on Calo before Juvy walks in and botches a rana attempt. King’s powerbomb is broken up and Juvy’s 450 connects for two as La Parka makes the save.

Psychosis hits the guillotine legdrop on Chavo for two before La Parka comes in to throw Chavo to the floor. El Dandy dropkicks Calo to the floor but Silver King completely misses his dive. Calo pops up to the top rope to dive onto King before almost everyone dives onto everyone else. Chavo and Psychosis are left alone in the ring with Guerrero hitting a quick tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s an idea that has worked time after time and this was no exception: take a bunch of luchadores and let them go nuts for ten minutes to open the show. Everyone looked great out there and the dive sequence at the end was excellent with all of the guys hitting their spots almost perfectly. This was the perfect choice for an opener and the crowd is hot right off the bat.

Post match La Parka cleans house with the chair, including his own teammates, sending the audience into a frenzy.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is one of the best built matches WCW has had in a long time with Benoit having to face every member of the Flock before finally getting his hands on Raven. Raven has sent all of his lackeys to attack Benoit time after time and tonight Benoit FINALLY gets his hands on their leader. The Flock comes out to back Raven but are ejected by an executive order. Raven rants about being shunned all his life and being fine with it here. The match is also Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes.

Raven starts with a baseball slide before Benoit is even in the ring. Benoit is sent into the barricade and then the steps before heading inside for a backslide on Raven for two. Benoit is sent right back to the floor so Raven can blast him in the back with a chair. Back in and Benoit is snapmared and bulldogged down onto the chair for two. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold onto the chair (Dusty: “YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT!”) but can’t immediately follow up.

Chris hits the snap suplex onto the chair for two of his own before ripping Raven’s shirt off. Raven bails to the floor and gets caught by a baseball slide before being sent into the steps. That’s a nice callback to what Raven did to open the match. Bird Boy stumbles up the aisle with Benoit chopping him down along the way. There’s another snap suplex on the ramp to put Raven in big trouble. Back in and Benoit stomps the chair into Raven’s head before hitting the Swan Dive onto the chair but both guys are out.

Benoit finally covers for two but can’t even stand up to keep the pressure on Raven. A northern lights suplex is countered into Raven’s DDT but Raven is too weakened to cover. It’s Benoit covering Raven for two before putting on the Crossface. Raven doesn’t try to escape and instead smiles at the pain. He laughs himself into unconsciousness in a creepy moment to end the match.

Rating: A. If there’s a better Raven match out there I’d love to see it. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was brutal throughout. This is the kind of emotional response you can get to a well built feud. The place went NUTS for Benoit’s win, which makes you wonder why he was wasted for so long in WCW.

Post match Kidman comes out for the save but Dean Malenko runs out to put him in the Cloverleaf. The rest of the Flock comes in but Dean and Chris fight them off.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey is defending after winning the title nine days earlier. Jericho had injured Rey a few days before the title shot before earning a title shot later to set this up. The fans chant JERICHO SUCKS and Chris is stunned. Jericho makes fun of Rey for being short so the champion armdrags him down. A hard clothesline gives Jericho control but Rey comes hooks a slingshot rana to send Jericho to the outside. Rey’s knee goes out while Jericho is on the floor and things slow down.

Jericho charges back in but gets caught in a chinlock followed by a victory roll for two but Rey’s knee goes out again. A running hair takedown puts Chris down but a hurricanrana attempt is countered into a modified hot shot to put Rey down again. Jericho hits a double underhook powerbomb (called a shoulder breaker by Tony) on the floor followed by a running knee to the face. Why isn’t he going for the knee?

Back in and Jericho sends the knee into the buckle before toying with Rey a bit. Rey fights back with the good knee and manages a jumping Killswitch for two. Jericho is sent to the apron and a baseball slide takes out the knee, sending Jericho face first into the apron. A big flip dive over the top takes Jericho down again but the knee is damaged even worse. As they come back in, Jericho breaks up a springboard attempt and Rey’s knee is hurt again. He tries a springboard hurricanrana but Jericho catches him in the air and puts on the Liontamer for the tap out and the title.

Rating: C+. The match was about Rey’s bad knee with Jericho toying with him the entire time until the end. At the end of the day there wasn’t much Rey could do on one leg and Jericho played it perfectly. This made Jericho look like a goofy killer which is perfect for his character at the time.

Post match Jericho says the fans must really like him before kicking Rey’s knee out. The leg is crushed between a toolbox and the steel steps to put him out for a LONG time, as in the next six months.

Here’s JJ Dillon with the world title. He talks about the big mess in the last month and how he’s tried to come up with the best answer. Dillon brings out Roddy Piper for the first time since Halloween Havoc. Roddy talks about nothing of note before bringing out Sting, Hall and Hogan for the big announcement. Piper says that Hall earned his world title shot, but since there’s no world champion, Hall has to take a back seat for the time being.

As for Hogan, he’s a three time world champion and Piper would love to put the title around his waist……NOT! Seriously that’s what Piper said. The solution to all the problems over the belt: a rematch between Hogan and Sting at Super Brawl. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and Hall walks away with a disgusted look on his face. Somehow this took over twelve minutes.

TV Title: Rick Martel vs. Booker T

Booker is defending and this is face vs. face. Martel saved Booker from some beatdowns and was granted a title shot as a thank you. Booker takes him by the arm to start before running Martel over with a shoulder block. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Rick and it’s a stalemate. They trade hammerlocks until Booker gets two off a clothesline and hooks an armbar. The champion misses an elbow but spins up for a side kick for two.

Back to the armbar but Martel fights up with a dropkick for two. Booker comes back with a superkick for two before hooking the third armbar. Rick is accidentally kicked low and Martel is angry. He goes nuts on Booker with right hands and chops before hooking a chinlock. Rick gets two off a spinebuster and goes to work on Booker’s back.

Off to a reverse chinlock on Booker despite his leg being under the bottom rope. Back up and Booker hits a flying forearm smash but Rick holds the rope to avoid a dropkick. The Quebec Crab goes on but Booker is right next to the ropes. The ax kick sets up the Harlem Hangover to retain the title for Booker.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match with an old school style to it. There was a basic story being told with both guys playing mental chess to outwit the other. Martel’s comeback is very impressive as he looks like he hasn’t missed a step in all the years he’s been gone. The ending was a little abrupt but this was a very good match for the most part.

Post match Martel takes the belt from the referee but hands it back to Booker and raises his hand. Booker shakes Martel’s hand in a display of mutual respect. Booker leaves and Saturn runs in to beat down Martel after their altercations on Raw and Nitro.

Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko

These two have a long history dating back to the AWA in the 80s and it’s picked up here in a battle of tradition vs. disrespect. Hall has his lackey Louie Spicolli with him. Larry had promised he wouldn’t come to the ring alone and points to Dusty Rhodes to be his corner man. Scott’s toothpick is swatted out of the air and Larry takes him to the mat. Hall goes after the arm as Tony makes fun of Heenan for thinking Larry was bringing Ted DiBiase to the ring with him. That’s hardly a ridiculous guess.

Larry offers a test of strength but gets Hall’s arms moving so fast that he slaps Scott in the face. Hall gets suckered into an abdominal stretch as Dusty plays cheerleader. Larry goes for a front chancery but Hall counters with a right hand to the face. Hall punches Larry down in the corner before tying up the legs like an STF but putting on an armbar instead.

A clothesline puts Larry down as the fans are all over Hall. The fallaway slam puts Larry down but he backdrops out of the Outsider’s Edge. Zbyszko pounds away in the corner but accidentally spin kicks the referee down. In a nice move, Larry plays possum to catch Hall in the front chancery but Spicolli runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty good considering it was Larry’s second match in several years. Hall had to tone it down to let Zbyszko keep up with him but the match was hardly a disaster. It’s not a great match on its own but the long story building up to it makes the payoff a bit better. Not much but some.

Post match Dusty elbows Spicolli before accidentally hitting Larry. Hall points at Dusty who opens his shirt to reveal the NWO colors. Dusty drops some elbows and talks trash as the announcers are disgusted. This is one of those ideas that was supposed to be a big deal but most people didn’t care.

Steiner Brothers/Ray Traylor vs. Buff Bagwell/Konnan/Scott Norton

Tony is upset and doesn’t want to call the match so Mike Tenay joins commentary. For the sake of clarity, Scott Steiner will be the only person referred to as Scott. Rick and Bagwell get things going with Bagwell imitating the dog bark. He tries to take Rick to the mat but bails to the corner when the former collegiate wrestler is ready to go. Rick poses at Buff in the corner for a quick laugh. Some suplexes put Buff down and it’s off to Traylor.

Rick and Traylor start tagging in and out pretty quickly while leaving Scott on the apron. The idea is that Scott hasn’t been tagging out during their recent matches so his partners aren’t letting him in at all. Traylor gets caught in the wrong corner and it’s off to Norton for some standing splashes. Konnan gets in a cheap shot to knock Traylor into a powerslam for no cover. Tony is back to whatever you call normal for him as the NWO double teams Traylor.

Norton and Traylor hit a double clothesline and it’s back to Rick. The announcers say that it’s surprising that Scott didn’t get the tag, even though Traylor fell into Rick as he was much closer. Tony tries to defend the bored crowd as being stunned by Dusty’s actions. The NWO takes Rick down as Scott is now standing on the same side of the apron as Traylor to get a tag.

Norton slams Rick and it’s off to a chinlock from Bagwell. Konnan comes in for a leg lock as this match is dragging badly. Bagwell and Konnan double team Rick until Traylor makes the save, allowing for a tag from both of Rick’s partners at once. Everything breaks down and Scott hits a dragon suplex and the Screwdriver on Konnan for the pin.

Rating: D. This was long and boring and not much else. The idea of Scott being left out in the cold was fine but in the end it wound up meaning nothing at all. The problem for the Steiners was they had no one to challenge them with the Outsiders feud being done to death so their time as a tag team was long since over.

Post match Scott and Bagwell have an unheard chat and a pose down. Scott leaves on his own.

The Giant vs. Kevin Nash

Bischoff and Hogan come out with Nash. This is a match that was supposed to happen at Starrcade but Nash “hurt his knee”, allegedly over not wanting to job. Both guys had to put up $1.5 million as a bond with Nash guaranteeing to appear and Giant promising not to attack Nash before the match. Giant shoves Nash back and picks him up for a pretty good looking belly to back suplex. Nash gets crushed back into the corner and choked down on the mat as this is one sided so far.

Kevin bails to the floor for a meeting with Hogan before hitting a running clothesline in the corner. Giant reverses an Irish whip and a big boot puts Nash down again. Nash actually leapfrogs over Giant before kicking him in the face to not much success. Giant is punched to the floor and Nash DIVES over the top rope, only to be caught in mid air by the bigger man. Giant rams him into the steps but Hogan blasts him in the back with a chair to give Nash a big advantage.

Back in and Nash pounds away, only to have Giant shrug the offense off before kicking Nash in the face to get himself a breather. Back up and Nash pounds away in the corner, only to be caught in an atomic drop. Giant clotheslines him down a few times and hits a big boot with a point to Hogan. Bischoff distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to throw Nash some hot coffee. Giant is blinded by the liquid and Nash delivers a famously botched powerbomb, dropping Giant on the top of his head for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was better than expected but the ending is the only thing that people remember is the ending. It’s so odd to see Nash doing stuff like dives over the top rope and leapfrogs but he didn’t look all that awkward. The interesting thing to me though: allegedly Nash was booked to do the job at Starrcade, then screwed over the fans and got to win the match once it happened. That’s quite the reward.

Giant is looked at for a good while.

Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart

This is your basic battle for respect. Bret has a column in the Calgary Sun newspaper and said that he was better than Flair. That wasn’t cool with Ric and we had a main event. This is Bret’s in ring debut for WCW. Feeling out process to start until Bret takes over with a headlock. Flair reverses into one of his own and runs Bret over with a shoulder as we’re still in first gear.

Bret grabs a Figure Four of all things but Flair is almost immediately in the ropes. A suplex gets two for Hart and it’s chinlock time. Flair fights up but loses a battle of top wristlocks, allowing Bret to take him back down with an armbar. Bret slaps him out to the floor and Flair takes a breather. Back in and Hart puts on the headlock again to keep Flair at a slow pace. Flair fights up and pounds away in the corner and suplexes his way out of a quick sleeper.

Ric has the referee check the time so he can hit Bret low like only Naitch can. A knee drop gets two and it’s off to a chinlock on Hart. Back up and they slug it out until Bret grabs a neckbreaker to put both guys down. Hart gets two off a bulldog and it’s time to go for the leg. He cannonballs down onto the knee and loads up the Figure Four around the post, only to have Flair kick him back into the barricade. Back in and it’s Ric’s turn to go after the knee with the knee crusher and a few pulls on the leg.

The Figure Four is countered into a small package by Bret but now the Figure Four works for Flair. Bret finally turns it over to escape before slamming Ric off the top. Bret comes right back with a Russian legsweep and takes down his straps so Flair can chop him even harder. The Five Moves of Doom set up a superplex which sets up the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but it wasn’t going to be able to live up to the hype. It’s a great debut for Bret and good proof that he still has it with an ending that makes sense. The match was all about respect and Bret won the match with pure wrestling skill and a submission hold. That’s the right choice.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Yeah this is the main event instead of Flair vs. Hart. This is a rematch from the night after Starrcade which wasn’t a big deal at all. Savage bails to the floor to start and the stalling is already rolling. Luger is dropped throat first across the barricade for two back inside. A suplex gets two on Luger as this is really basic stuff so far. Savage chokes away and Liz gets in some of her own.

Luger fights out of the corner but has to deal with Liz again. He finally goes after her but the trap works to perfection with Savage getting in another cheap shot. They head into the crowd with Luger taking over as this match drags on. Back in and Luger hits the steel forearm as Hall and Hogan come to ringside. Savage is sent into Hall and Luger throws him into the Rack for the fast submission.

Rating: D-. This would have been a bad match on Nitro and it’s even worse on a pay per view. These guys had no business having the main event slot on this show as the match was treated like a midcard match for weeks setting up the show. Nothing to see here at all and a very bad choice to end the show.

The NWO beats Savage down until Sting makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is one of the best WCW PPVs ever produced with four good to great matches and only two that weren’t at least good. The main event is a stupid choice but I’m guessing Hogan had to be in the final segment so it had to go on last. Definitely check out Benoit vs. Raven for a great fight if you don’t have three hours to watch the whole thing, but if you do have the time the whole show is worth checking out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Great American Bash 2000
Date: June 11, 2000
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,031
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

 

Well I figured that since I’m halfway through 2000 I might as well finish the year off and for some reason I thought it would be better to start adding one on to the end at a time. Anyway the main event is Jarrett vs. Nash for the title with a huge swerve that would be blasted from one end of the world to another but that’s expected. The rest of the card is your usual WCW 2000 garbage so let’s get to it.

 

There are cops waiting on Goldberg to get here because I guess he isn’t here yet or something.

 

The opening video talks about the matches tonight, which has Flair vs. Flair and Hogan vs. Billy Kidman. Well ok then. No theme to it or anything, just a list of some matches.

 

Apparently Goldberg has been let out of a Nashville jail. Why is he in it? Who cares. Apparently he was in it though.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lieutenant Loco

 

Loco is Chavo Guerrero and is champion here. Chavo says he has a surprise for Disco: and it’s something that the announcers aren’t thrilled with him having. I don’t particularly care since they’re not sure either but apparently it’s something they would have gotten in trouble for having. Disco is part of the Filthy Animals here. Can we just look at Major Gunns and Tygress?

 

Everyone is chilling at ringside so it looks like a lumberjack match for the most part. Disco is in a Lakers jersey and Chavo is in blue camouflage so this is a rather weird looking match to say the least. Chavo takes over to start but Disco gets a hot shot to take over. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor for the quick beatdown by the Misfits. Scott dubs Disco the Hip Hop Inferno.

 

Big dive off the top by Chavo takes out Disco as this match is dragging badly. It’s not that bad but it’s just a bit boring to say the least. Back in the rind and Disco gets a slam and dances a bit. Some old dude in a helmet wanders out to hit on Tygress. Apparently he’s General Rection’s grandfather so Konnan shoves him down. While that’s going on Juvy comes in and beats up Loco but Lash Leroux takes out Disco and puts Chavo on top for the pin.

 

Rating: D. What a freaking mess. You have Chavo who was incredible at this point and Disco who was……well Chavo was incredible at this point so he more than could have carried a five minute match by himself. Instead this was a total wreck with no flow at all to it and barely any wrestling at all. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be a running theme tonight?

 

Some very bad actors dressed as cops tell Bischoff and Miller that their surprise for Nash is safe.

 

The Mamalukes say they’ll win. This results in a lot of bad Italian stereotypes. Apparently Vito claims to be the Hardcore Champion even though Johnny the Bull was supposed to be.

 

Order this show and get a Hulk Hogan…..inflatable raft? Dude…..why?

 

Kronik vs. Mamalukes

 

Winners are the #1 contenders. During the intros we’re assured that Goldberg WILL NOT be here tonight. Good to know indeed. The winner gets the Perfect Event. Apparently since the Mamalukes are in the New Blood they can defend the title using the Freebird Rule. Vito gets beaten down by Adams to start and they switch off. Clark hits a Rock Bottom to Johnny and the Italians are getting destroyed so far.

 

Vito comes back in and still has the belt on. I have a feeling that’s going to be a running joke here. Clark gets chopped and smacked in the chest a few times as Tony talks about how the Mamalukes walked into WCW and won the tag titles. Yes, that doesn’t bury the division in the slightest. Adams comes in to hammer on Johnny a bit. Full Nelson Slam kills Johnny for two. DDT gets no cover for Johnny as he brings in Vito instead.

 

Not that it really matters as Kronik hammers him down using the power of marijuana. Their name was Kronik and their finisher was called High Times. What do you think they were talking about? Clark botches what would become known as the F5, more or less dropping him on his head for two. Johnny comes in so Vito sits goes over and polishes the belt. A reverse cross body literally misses by four feet and High Times end Johnny a second later. Vito doesn’t seem to mind.

 

Rating: C-. Just a match really as there was no real need for them to fight other than for the sake of being the #1 contenders. Not bad or anything, but I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for out there. In other words, Russo lives! Let there be no defined faces or heels ever!!!

 

DDP has something special for Mike Awesome apparently.

 

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Awesome

 

This is an ambulance match. Page’s surprise is Chris Kanyon in a wheelchair after Awesome threw him off a cage and broke his neck or something. And of course, Kanyon will NEVER turn on DDP EVER! They head to the floor and then the crowd almost immediately. Page gets a shot in to send us back to ringside very quickly as this is a big brawl. They somehow change momentum three times in 10 seconds and make it four in 12.

 

The referee is down also but that’s WCW for you. To the ring now as the referee is getting up a bit. Awesome comes off the top with a back elbow and a belly to back suplex has Page down. Tony thinks it’s odd that there’s no surprise yet, even though Bischoff kept saying it was for NASH, who hadn’t been seen yet. Awesome sets up a table as we talk about Kanyon a bit.

 

Powerbomb through the table as this is a match that was used in a clip on Whose Line Is It Anyway? Page is put on a stretcher because simply throwing him in the ambulance isn’t enough I guess. Awesome gets a chair shot in and we head back to the ring because winning doesn’t matter right? Top rope splash looks to kill Page and the second probably does. A third splash misses as Page is between a pair of chairs this time so he had to move right?

 

Here’s Kimberly because Page is out there. They’re having “problems” which were probably brought on by her heel turn. She hits DDP with a pipe so Miss Hancock (Stacy Keibler) comes out and drags her off. They’re “having problems” also apparently. Awesome looks for an Awesome Bomb off the top but Page gets a low blow and a Diamond Cutter off the top. The medical people put him on a stretcher and here comes Bischoff to take out Kanyon. And of course Kanyon comes out of his wheelchair and hits a Diamond Cutter to end Page. Awesome wins with ease.

 

Rating: D. The match was junk, but let’s take a look at the angle that ended the match. Kanyon was indeed thrown off a cage to the ramp. It’s not like we saw that off camera or anything. DDP took care of him and then Kanyon betrays him for the people that tried to cripple him in less than a month? Are we really supposed to buy that Awesome was able to convince Kanyon that Page was the bad guy? Or that Kanyon was in on this all along and that he went along with being thrown around like that? And people wonder why Russo’s booking is so criticized.

 

The announcers point out how stupid this is.

 

Shawn Stasiak vs. G.I. Bro

 

And here’s the latest way to waste a guy like Booker: he’s a military guy when there’s already a military themed stable. He comes in on a zip line like Shawn did at Mania 12, but at about 1/3 of the height and 1/10 of the speed. The announces speculate that Kanyon was the surprise because they’re not that smart. Oh apparently Booker is part of the MIA. It just wasn’t mentioned until here.

 

This is a Boot Camp match, which means Last Man Standing. Why they’re fighting isn’t required information but I’d bet it’s MIA vs. New Blood. They’re both in camo here because that’s what you do in the army right? Booker takes him to the floor and hammers away as we go into the crowd. WEAK chair to the head (drawing slight booing) takes down Stasiak for all of a second. A horrible top rope forearm gets about seven.

 

Oh and don’t worry: we’re willing to cut away to the back at the drop of a hat if Goldberg arrives. You know, because you paid your money to see a car pull into a parking lot 45 minutes into a show right? Jumping back elbow puts Booker down and they actually treat it like a move that could end this. Big spinwheel kick by Booker takes him down for no reaction for the most part.

 

Stasiak sends him to the floor and we head to the ramp for a suplex. Back in the ring as there’s no heat on this match in the slightest. Back to the floor again as they have no idea what to do with nearly 14 minutes total for this match. Chair shot puts Booker down on the floor and back in the ring a gutwrench powerbomb gets 9. Time for a sleeper because this match isn’t boring enough already.

 

The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them in the slightest. This is what we mean when we say adding a gimmick for the sake of adding a gimmick. They can’t even explain why these two are fighting and yet we’re supposed to want to see a gimmick match between them an hour into the show in the fifth slot? There’s no heat here and the only reason this gimmick is here is because someone has a military gimmick.

 

Book End hits out of nowhere and I don’t bother waiting to hear what the stupid military name of that is. They call it a uranage suplex here but screw that. Of course it only gets like five but it sets up the missile dropkick, as in both of his finishers that can’t take down Stasiak. Palumbo, Stasiak’s partner, comes out with the Lex-Flexor exercise bar but hits Booker low anyway. A shot to the back of Booker puts him down as Tony rants against relaxed rules in a match with no rules. Booker gets up and mostly hits a double clothesline and beats up the tag champions on his own. A shot to Stasiak with the flexor ends this.

 

Rating: D-. Oh give me a break. Someone thought that Shawn freaking Stasiak was the best use of Booker T here? I mean come on now man. There was zero reason at all for this to be a gimmick match in the slightest so they went with it anyway. Guess what is up next: a gimmick match. After that, another gimmick match. Before this, another gimmick match. This is a great example of Russo’s writing in a nutshell and one of the better ones you’ll ever see. Oh and the match sucked, easily the worst last man standing match I’ve ever seen.

 

Goldberg’s monster truck is here.

 

Page might still be here.

 

Kanyon says he’s positive DDP is gone. Make that Positively Kanyon. This was the start of Kanyon’s newest gimmick: he would imitate Page who had a new book out called Positively Page. This, of course, went nowhere of note. This somehow translates to Bischoff got to Kanyon in the hospital and brainwashed him. I give up.

 

The Wall vs. Shane Douglas

 

Douglas curses a lot before the match and apparently doesn’t like Flair and Hogan. Now this is no longer a tables match as we’re going to make it a best of five tables matches with Shane saying now we’re guaranteed five tables being broken. Thank you for admitting you’re going through at least two Shane. Ok now you have to put someone through five tables to win. PICK A RULE ALREADY!

 

It’s first to five now. Ok, let’s stick with that. Wall has a really stupid looking black goatee now so he looks like a cross between Hitler and Kurrgan. Again no reason given for why they’re fighting or anything because that would be important information right? Standard match to start as we continue to waste more time on this show. Douglas hits a suplex and a reverse Hennig neck snap.

 

Wall is sent onto a table but not through it. No one has gone through anything yet. They fight on the floor in maybe second gear at best. Shane tries a suplex through it but gets countered and Wall hits a chokeslam to go up 1-0. Wall blocks a shot into the post and gets a release belly to back suplex through the table as they change the rules in the middle of the match to make it best of five instead of first to five.

 

Back in the ring as Shane is totally fine after a pair of table breaks with a low blow. Shane wants to take it to the back but settles for by the stage instead. What a shock: there are a bunch of tables there with a ladder next to them. Shane goes up the ladder and there are either two tables on a stage or three in a row with a cloth over the bottom one. Wall has his back to the tables but wants a chokeslam anyway. Shane knocks him through it with brass knuckles as all of a sudden it’s just TWO tables again but they say Shane wins anyway as it switches from 3 to 2 to 3 again inside of five seconds. Just go on already.

 

Rating: F+. We get it: you can have gimmick matches. Was there a point to having this be a table match? Or even to have the match in the first place? NOT IMPORTANT!!! This is yet another stupid gimmick match as Russo treats its fans like idiots that are going to be easily fascinated by things being broken. Whatever dude.

 

Wall puts the referee through a table post match just because.

 

Hogan arrives, 75 minutes into the show in an old school Dodge Charger.

 

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Tank Abbot

 

Scott is US Champion here and this may or may not be for the title. We’ll say it is anyway as it would make sense…..yeah let’s just go with non-title. It’s also in the Steel Asylum. Here’s another brilliant idea of WCW. The Asylum is a small round cage about 10 feet in diameter that is lowered into the ring. No ropes or anything, just a small cage. And now Rick Steiner is added to the match to make it a handicap. Well sure why not.

 

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott

 

Scott is a face here if that wasn’t clear. Rick and Tank double team him for awhile and here comes the cage. The fans chant for Goldberg but even he couldn’t save something this stupid. They destroy Scott for a minute or so until Tank pulls out a chain. Rick pulls a Lee Corso (that name won’t mean anything to you if you’re not from America or into college football) and says not so fast my friend. Abbott hits Rick with the chain, Scott gets a low blow, Recliner keeps the title on him. Ok so it was for the title. Good thing they waited until after the match to tell us it was in jeopardy no?

 

Rating: J. As in just….no. It runs less than four minutes, two of which are spent hammering on Scott before the whole cage thing came down. The stuff inside the little ring of death or whatever is maybe 90 seconds long and the whole thing is just stupid. I guess this was so they didn’t need to have Steiner run or whatever. Just move on.

 

Flair is here, looking like Doc Brown from Back to the Future goes Hawaiian.

 

We recap Hogan vs. Kidman. Kidman got a fluke win over Hogan so this is the rematch. If Hogan wins, he gets a title shot next month (oh boy. It’s THAT show) and if Kidman wins, Hogan retires. Hogan’s nephew Horace is refereeing and doesn’t like his uncle.

 

Hogan says that he’s not worried here because blood is thicker than New Blood. So old > new. It’s like Hogan’s whole belief system broken down into one sentence. He mentions Goldberg and Nash and says if he gets into that it’ll be the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

Billy Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan

 

Horace comes out with Kidman. Kidman has some Shawn Michaels like pyro. It’s the NWO theme for Hulk here. Kidman goes straight at him….and is destroyed pretty quickly. There’s the big boot maybe a minute in so Kidman hits the floor. Torrie has turned her back on Kidman. Meaning she WILL NOT be here right? Kidman has had no offense at all so far.

 

Back to the ring and it’s time for choking. Hogan gets in Horace’s face which of course goes nowhere. Kidman comes back with some choking but a low blow with Horace looking right at them is ignored. Here’s the weightlifting belt which is Hogan going EXTREME I guess. Back to the floor and Kidman dropkicks a chair into the face of baldie. That gets two in the ring as this is as riveting as it sounds.

 

Hogan continues to do almost nothing but punch and choke. Oh wait he rammed him into the railing twice. Hudson makes sure to let us know that we’re here because of Hogan and no one else PERIOD. Back to the ring as Kidman hits a DDT onto the chair that is so bad it’s booed before Kidman can even cover. I mean Kidman is off Hogan who then SLOWLY lowers his head down onto the chair. This is horrible.

 

Kidman gets two again and yells at Horace for calling it unfairly or something. The fans chant for Hogan who I think is the face here, making him out to be a huge bully for hammering on a guy half his size. Here comes the Hulk Up against the guy called the Flea Market Champion. There are ten punches in the corner and a running clothesline. Back to the floor for like the 4^th time and Kidman is tossed through the table.

 

Here’s Torrie so at least we have something to look at now. She hands Hulk brass knuckles because he needs them I guess. Kidman knocks Hulk into Torrie and her ankle is hurt. Kidman gets a shot with the knuckles in for two. Horace shoves Kidman and now let’s get stupid as Kidman hits Horace with the knuckles. So if they were still on his hand, why didn’t he hit Hogan with them again instead of choking him? Torrie hits Kidman low and a shot with the knucks to Kidman ends this. Oh and Hulk and Horace are cool again.

 

Rating: D-. Hey look: another stupid match with a way overbooked ending and a gimmick to it. Hogan was never going to job to Kidman twice and now Kidman looks like just as much of a joke as he did before this whole Hogan thing. It’s the difference between a rub and being in the ring with someone. He wouldn’t do anything after this other than feud with Shane Douglas which went nowhere. It’s not a failure because Torrie looked good and that’s about it.

 

Bischoff yells at a cop about life in general.

 

Bash at the Beach is coming, sponsored by Master Lock. Yes, a lock company is the best they can get at this point.

 

We recap David Flair vs. Ric Flair with the idea being that Russo has brainwashed David into thinking that Russo is the father that David never have and it’s a big Ric vs. Russo thing.

 

Russo says this is going to be fun.

 

Ric says this is going to be fun.

 

Ric’s family shows up.

 

Ric Flair vs. David Flair

 

If Ric loses he has to retire FOREVER (which is how it says it on the graphics). With Russo on the floor we actually gets some wrestling here as Ric does most of the work, namely because he has about 100x the talent. David chops away in the corner and actually takes over for a bit. You know Ric is going to sell for his oldest boy. Ric gets sent into the railing and takes a decent delayed vertical suplex for no cover.

 

And so much for David’s decent run as we hit a bad sleeper. Ric suplexes out of it and we have a very basic match going here. David’s shirt comes off as this is going very slowly here. Out to the floor as Ric takes over again. We need to get to the next match so I can use last names again. Russo interferes and takes out the knee of Ric and handcuffs him. So the referee had his back to Ric and Russo and all of a sudden Ric is in handcuffs….AND THAT’S ALL COOL??? And people wonder why this company was called stupid.

 

David puts on the Figure Four which gets him nowhere for the most part. It does get Russo to hold his hands. Does that mean they’re going steady? Reid Flair jumps the railing and hits Russo in the balls and steals the handcuff key. The referee gets the key as David beats up his brother and frees Ric. Ric’s wife or daughter (like you can tell) cuffs Russo and Ric taunts him a bit. Ric beats on David for awhile before putting him out of his misery with the Figure Four.

 

Rating: C. Somehow this was by far and away the best match of the night so far unless I’m forgetting something. It’s not that bad, mainly because they let Ric walk the far more inexperienced David through it. They didn’t try to make this too complicated and that fits because David had very little experience and his character wasn’t much of a wrestler anyway. Not too bad here I guess, all things considered.

 

Ric chops Russo a bit post match. Russo rants about various things, making a match for tomorrow night between Ric/Reid vs. Russo/David in another retirement match which would retire Flair.

 

We recap Vampiro vs. Sting with the idea being that it’s a human torch match. You have to light the other person on fire to win. That’s nothing like the Inferno match at all is it?

 

Vampiro vs. Sting

 

There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.

 

Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.

 

As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.

 

And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.

 

Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!

 

Bischoff is talked to by some blonde chick in the back and doesn’t want to talk right now. There’s no big surprise. What is this, Monster A Go-Go?

 

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

 

Let’s get this over with. Ernest Miller comes out before the match and introduces the Filthy Animals, as in New Blood cronies (despite them leaving like a week before) to be bell ringer and time keeper and all that jazz. Oh and Miller is referee. Nash shoves him around a lot to start until the Animals distract Nash to let Jarrett taker over. Jeff is champion if I didn’t mention that.

 

Miller is on the floor. Nash hammers on Jarrett and literally everyone stops to look at the entrance and nothing happens. Now back to the match. Weird indeed. Snake Eyes puts Jarrett into the replacement announce table and we go into the crowd. Back to the ring after Nash beats on Jarrett a bit and it’s Jeff with chair shots to the knee. This is one of those matches where stuff goes on but nothing is really happening.

 

Jarrett works on the leg for a good while as we’re clearly filling in time before the whole surprise thing happens. No one buys that the surprise isn’t happen, so I don’t know why we have to waste 15 minutes before we get to it. Half crab to Nash who won’t give up because raising your arm three times in a row is too much effort I guess. There’s the figure four as we waste even more time.

 

The hold goes on for a very long time to the point where most people would have broken their leg already but since it’s Nash he gets to just roll around a bit while barely grimacing. Nash tries to get to his feet but Konnan hits him in the hands with the bell for a two count for Jeff. Nash, despite being in the figure four for two minutes after about five minutes of leg work and a shot to the head with a metal bell from a professional athlete, is able to take over and actually run to the corner to take out Rey.

 

Belt shot gets two as Disco makes the save. Juvy gets in a chair shot to take over as the fans chant for Goldberg. Miller comes in to referee with a two count as this is a total mess. The Animals get beaten down as Nash is fighting seven guys to a stalemate. Jarrett, the world champion, hits his finisher for only two. Well of course it was only two. I mean he’s just the world champion after all.

 

Guitar shot misses and Jarrett walks into a chokeslam for two as Miller has something in his eye. Tony actually shouts BOGUS a few times. Powerbomb to Miller and one to Jarrett but the third referee is taken out by Rick Steiner. Tank Abbott tries to come out but somehow Scott Steiner cuts him off. If Steiner wanted to help, WHERE WAS HE WHEN THERE WERE LIKE EIGHT GUYS ON NASH???

 

Everyone beats on Nash including a Bronco Buster from an unmasked Rey. And cue a big noise as Goldberg is here in his monster truck. Maybe that’s what the sound was earlier? His music kicks on and the place erupts. Goldberg is here….and he joins the New Blood with one of the worst spears you’ll ever see. Yes, the ultra star of the company, the ONE guy they still had that was a big face draw, is added to the super heel group as a Bischoff/Jarrett/Russo lackey. Jarrett gets the academic pin and the SHOCKED celebration ends this mess.

 

Rating: F. You mean, in a Bischoff/Russo booked company, there was a big time face that apparently had been in league with the big heel group the entire time and it was SHOCKING to end a PPV? WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? The match was awful as Nash wouldn’t sell, the insanity of it was stupid, and Jarrett looked like a guy off Tough Enough.

 

Trash pelts the ring to end this show.

 

Overall Rating: F-. I have no idea what they were going for here but it was one of the worst shows I’ve watched in a long time. The gimmicks were WAY too much and none of them worked at all. You had some bad wrestling, horrid gimmicks, a REALLY stupid heel turn to end the show, and Hogan as #1 contender. Let’s talk about that heel turn for a bit actually.

 

In essence what they were going with was Nash, Hogan and Steiner as the top faces against Bischoff, Russo, Jarrett and Goldberg. In other words, the old guys are the faces and the young guys (if Jarrett counts as a young guy) are the heels. There was one issue with this: Goldberg was so ridiculously popular at this point that he was cheered every time he was on camera, which shows one of two things.

 

One, Russo has no idea what a face is. Oh wait, according to him faces and heels mean nothing. Second, WCW is really freaking stupid. That much is a given so let’s go back to the first part. Assuming what he says is true (it isn’t) then why are there factions or matches at all? Oh that’s right again: Russo doesn’t like having wrestling on his shows. Tell me again, why is this guy praised so much?

 

Anyway, AWFUL show here and somehow it would only get worse with the absolute mess they had the next month with Hogan and Russo clashing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Capital Combat
Date: May 19, 1990
Location: D.C. Armory, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is the Robocop Show. That being said, the rest of this card is actually pretty good looking. It’s overstacked with tags but this is a good era for them so I can’t complain much. The main event is Luger vs. Flair in a cage as Sting’s knee had more or less exploded and been shredded at the same time at a Clash show, meaning he’s gone for months. This is a problem as he’s by far and away the biggest star in the company so they had no choice but to throw Luger in there. Better than nothing I guess. Let’s get to it.

The show is subtitled The Return of Robocop. That sums things up I think.

Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan/Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.

How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.

Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.

OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls over. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.

Mark Callous vs. Johnny Ace

Ace would become better known as the guy that practically runs the talent ends of WWE today. Callous would become better known as the Deadman. Here’s he’s just a big tough guy from Houston. This is WAY before Taker had anything really going for him either. Dangerously manages him which is a freaking scary combination. Ace was little more than a jobber to the stars in this company at this time so I highly doubt this is going to mean much.

There isn’t much to say here as it’s a relatively standard match with no heat going on something close to power vs. speed. Ace was never a guy that really got over that well in America. His brother was a good bit more popular though. You just read about him too as he’s more commonly known as Animal. There isn’t much here as it’s just them going back and forth with no particular rhyme or reason (I’m bored and Burning Bright popped into my head) for FAR too long.

We’re nearly seven minutes into this and it’s just been slow and plodding stuff from Taker and some quick shots from Ace. I’m still waiting on anything of interest to happen. Oh there’s a Heart Punch to end it. Thank you. Oh that’s Taker’s finisher and he won in case you were confused. Hard to believe he would be Undertaker in 6 months.

Rating: D. I mean what was the point here? They have all these great tags lined up and they give THIS ten minutes? This couldn’t have been spread out somewhere else? It’s just boring and not interesting in the slightest, which is never a good thing at all. BIG waste of time but I guess it could have been worse.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Tommy Rich/Mike Rotundo

This….this is a joke right? The Swat Team is more commonly known as Tama from the Islanders and Rikishi. Mike Rotundo is IRS and Tommy Rich is somehow a former world champion. To call this a contrast in styles would be an understatement as you have savages that don’t act savage and a Southern boy that isn’t that good and a technician in Rotundo.

Ok so we’re five minutes into this and my head is hurting. The spots are missing, the spots are stupid, and neither of the Samoans are any good. That being said, this is still a boring match. It’s supposed to be a glorified squash but it’s going on way too long and it just isn’t that good.

The faces make their comeback to set up the finish….and we’re going to keep going. Is this supposed to be good or entertaining or something like that? If that’s the case, this is failing completely. Someone shoot me please. FINALLY after OVER FIFTEEN MINUTES this ends with a splash and the Samoans winning.

Rating: F. No way. This got nearly twenty minutes and nothing happened. It was just back and forth stuff with no drama or good action at all. The main thing here is the time. If you hack this in half, it’s bearable. It’s boring, but it’s bearable. This was too much though and I had to stop the tape a few times out of boredom.

Teddy Long vs. Paul Ellering

This is a hair vs. hair match even though both are nearly bald. Missy Hyatt is the announcer for no apparent reason and Long is in boxing gear. He’s actually in decent shape too. You know I have to give Long credit: this guy has been in mainstream wrestling in some form or capacity for well over twenty years. That’s pretty impressive actually. Long is in tights. That’s just freaky looking.

Ellering’s arms are freaky. They talk about him wanting to run in the Iditarod. He did that actually and his goggles got frozen to his face and he nearly went blind. There’s something in the glove apparently as it flies off of Long’s hand, which then goes upside his head for the pin. The barber cuts his hair afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was like two minutes long and was just a freak show. However, after this we get to the good stuff so let’s get to it.

The Horsemen yell at Luger. It’s Sid, Anderson, Anderson, Windham and Flair at this point.

US Tag Titles: Tom Zenk/Brian Pillman vs. Midnight Express

This works. It’s Eaton and Lane in case you weren’t sure. The faces are the champions here. Pillman has hot pink tights and a mullet. There’s something funny there. Cornette has to be in a small cage at ringside. Later on they would raise it up into the air, providing some of the best comedy of all time as he’s TERRIFIED of heights and legitimately freaked out. Randy Anderson hits a clothesline and DOWN GOES CORNETTE!

He’s put into the cage and freaks out over it. We hear more about Mama Cornette who was the person that paid for all of his stuff but was never seen. The cameraman is wearing a bright green shirt. Is there a reason for this that I’m just missing? We start very fast as the champions hit a SWEET double team slingshot into a double clothesline. That was nice.

The Midnights are in peach and are getting their heads kicked in. Them running up to the cage for advice is kind of funny. They’re kind of starting and stopping here which is sort of odd. Zenk and Lane go at it with Stan throwing out his kicks and we hear about Flair training him. That’s not something you hear about every day. In essence we have two high fliers vs. two semi-high fliers.

This has been very good so far. It’s a great example of the idea of a dream tag match with two kind of thrown together guys and a career tag team which can work very well. This one is seeming to be like that. They work over Pillman for a good while which was their specialty. This was a great time for tag wrestling, with the Midnights and the Rock And Roll Express who are on next leading the charge.

Eaton hits a pretty nice elbow drop from the top rope. I like that. The ropes are a very odd color scheme of blue, white and yellow. Yeah that’s just odd. Bobby hits his top rope legdrop which doesn’t have a name yet. Very good match so far. Pillman tries a Tombstone but he kind of botches it so he improvises into a suplex sort of move. THAT is smart, as going for the piledriver would have looked terrible.

Zenk comes in and hooks a sleeper which is called a sleep hold. He kicks out of the Rocket Launcher. That’s saying a lot as it was the Midnights’ finisher. With Pillman being put out of the ring, Lane hits an enziguri on Zenk into a small package for the pin. Nice ending to a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was very fun to put it mildly. This is like I said a great example of a match where you have two kind of thrown together people and a great team and it turns into a great tag match. All four guys worked hard and it turned out to be a great match with very good chemistry all around. Worth seeing.

Sting and Robocop are in the back. And now they’re in the arena. This is the cross-over from purgatory if there ever was one. With Robocop on the way, the Horsemen jump the injured Sting and throw him in the cage that Cornette was in.

He of course pulls the door off as I wonder what I’m watching. Sting used to be a Horseman but was thrown out for wanting a shot at Flair, resulting in a massive beatdown and a heel turn for the Horsemen. This literally lasted about a minute in total and nothing was said at all.

Junkyard Dog is back and wants the Horsemen or Mean Mark (Undertaker). I still fail to care at all. Cornette comes up and runs his mouth and asks where JYD has been. JYD says an address and it’s the address of Cornette’s mother. OH SNAP. Yeah I don’t care either.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Freebirds

The Freebirds are Garvin and Hayes here and this is a Corporal Punishment match, which means a strap match. They can beat on each other with them or whatever they like but aren’t attached. We get Badstreet USA so this is already a success. The Birds get pyro which was a rare thing back then. I love how in recapping the night, Ross talks about Robocop and Sting and the US Tag Title match in the same manner, as if they were the same amount of time.

The straps are attached to the ring posts. Why? No reason is given but whatever. We finally get to the straps as the Express are dominating. Ross of course talks about the woodshed. That’s some weird obsession he has. This is kind of disjointed as it’s a segment and then a whipping and then we repeat. We get a whip duel between Gibson and Hayes which is kind of cool.

Ross says one of his favorite teams is the Steiners. Not sure what that has to do with this match but whatever. The heels take over and Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. Playing Ricky Morton means getting the living tar pounded out of you for a LONG time before making the hot tag. It was designed and more or less invented in the Express vs. Express matches and has been a staple of tag team wrestling ever since.

If you ever hear of someone playing Ricky Morton, it’s a guy in a tag match, 99% of the time a face, being beaten down really badly. The straps are kind of awesome actually as at least they make a really loud sound so you can tell it’s painful. That’s better than nothing at least. Garvin goes up and that completely fails which you would think would set up the hot tag to Gibson.

Nope not yet which isn’t incredibly surprising. In a nice idea, Morton goes to the wrong corner. That’s not bad at all. There’s your hot tag to not a ton of heat actually. Ross calls it The Sleep again. That’s just weird to hear. It really is. Hayes gets his DDT but doesn’t cover. This allows Morton, the illegal man, to come off the top with a sunset flip for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Not as good as the previous one, but then again the Freebirds aren’t as good as Zenk and Pillman in the ring. This came off fine although the straps weren’t used as much as I would have liked them to but I can live with that. This was fine for what it was though and was a very good use of nearly twenty minutes. The Express was past its prime at this point, but they still make fine tag matches. The ending made up for a weaker match here, which is fine as it’s the last thing you see.

Tony talks to the World’s Strongest Man, Doug Furnas, as in of Furnas and LaFon. He says nothing of note other than Luger is awesome.

Sting shows up just afterwards and is so over it’s not even funny. Apparently Luger is badly hurt and shouldn’t get in the ring tonight. Sting says Flair should be worried about Luger and that he would do the same thing.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Steiner Brothers

DANG that Doom music is awesome. They’re Ron Simmons and Butch Reed if you’ve never heard of them. They’re just big bruisers that have nothing but power. The Steiners are about as awesome as possible at this point so this is going to be a war. Rick’s hair is insane here and looks awful but it was just past the 80s so it’s ok I guess. Also, this is the Scott Steiner that was supposed to be the wrestler of the 90s as he’s a freaking monster that can move like Chris Jericho.

We’re stalling a ton by this point. Long looks like Carl Winslow with his hair like that which is rather amusing. Scott and Simmons start us off and Steiner just shoves the referee to the ground for no apparent reason. No disqualification on that for no apparent reason. These two just hammer the heck out of each other with the crowd being white hot. Scott is throwing Simmons around. That’s hard to imagine.

And now let’s look at the fans for no apparent reason. Scott throws out a perfect dropkick and it’s ALL Scott so far. I’m having issues taking Rick seriously with that hair. Apparently Rick offered to take Jim Ross fishing one time. That could be hilarious. To say this has been physical would be an understatement. They’re beating the tar out of each other and we hear about Simmons being the MVP of the Hula Bowl. That kind of weakens things a bit.

It’s weird hearing about all these little factoids about Steiner, including that he loves animals. It’s also weird hearing him called Hacksaw Reed. I know it’s his name but I associate that nickname with Duggan and Duggan alone. Doom has taken over here as we calm things down a lot. Reed has Scott down and pounds him with right hands. Better than the Atomic Noogie I guess. Reed hooks a decent bulldog of all things.

This has been slower but good so far. Frankensteiner hits out of nowhere and the place is all of a sudden alive. I’ll give the Steiners this: they could get a crowd going. Doom hits a modified Hart Attack for a long two but Rick makes the save. In a different kind of ending, Rick is pounding on Reed in the corner and sets up for a belly to belly from the middle rope but Simmons makes a save.

Reed hits more or less a spinebuster out of the corner from the second rope for the titles. I like that ending which is like a theme tonight or something. Post match Long said he would do it and he was right. This would wind up being the longest tag title reign in WCW history as they would hold the titles until next February.

Also, this was just below Sheamus beating Cena on the shock scale as while they were both big deals, the Steiners had been champions for nearly a year and were more or less unstoppable up to this point.

Rating: B+. Better than the previous one and another very good match. This has been a great show for tag wrestling as I thought it would be. This lived up to the hype of a very big showdown which is always a good thing. These two were both big time powerhouse teams and this worked very well. I liked it more than I should have but Doom is just awesome so there we are.

NWA World Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair

No build or anything for this as we’re just ready to go. He’s injured although we’re never told what part of Luger is hurt. Luger is US Champion here as well. Flair is a young man here and only a six time champion at this point. Woman is with him and she looks horrible. Flair however has the black and white robe on so that makes up for it. This is a cage match. I completely forgot about that which is likely not a good sign.

Ok why do you keep saying this show is about Robocop? He was on it for all of a minute. This is more or less a Hell in a Cell match as the cage is HUGE and goes beyond the ring. It’s also one of those where the holes are large enough to throw a baby through. Luger and Flair fought for like 2 years over the belt with Flair always cheating or losing by DQ so this is almost a running joke to NWA fans.

Hang on though as we need a weapons check.  Woman, who is inside the cage, is checked and the referee FINDS SOMETHING IN HER GLOVE. Wow that’s a weird one. The referee puts it in his pocket which I’m sure will come into play later.  There’s a cameraman in the ring too which is odd. Ah ok it was his knee and a staph infection. Thank you for letting us know that. This is on a Saturday. That’s rather odd. Flair has been champion over a year at this point so he’s definitely the favorite. Luger busts out the original Pec Dance as he’s dominating so far. Luger beats on Flair on the floor with the cage and to the shock of everyone, Flair is busted open.

Why can the ropes make a save in a cage match? Ross says he’s slamming his head into the cage like a tennis ball. First of all, who has a cage like this and two, who rams tennis balls into a cage? This has been ALL Luger for over ten minutes now. And as I say that he messes up his knee on a top rope suplex. Flair’s head is more or less completely red here but has to break the figure four because Luger gets the ropes. IN A CAGE MATCH?

And here are the Horsemen with Barry Windham. Sting and El Gigante come out to get rid of the Horsemen but somehow Ole gets the control of the cage and raises it so Barry can get in. And we have a DQ in a cage match of all things.

The Horsemen beat the heck out of him until Sting finally gets it back up and makes the save. Sting vs. Flair would be the main event of Great American Bash in two months where Sting would get the title. Gigante looks like he’s wearing armor almost. Sting jumping Flair closes the show.

Rating: B+. WEAK ending aside, this was the usual good Flair/Luger match. The Horsemen did their thing: keep the belt on Flair. That is what the Horsemen were all about at the end of the day: keeping the belt on Flair. This match was really quite good though as Luger and Flair always had awesome chemistry together, and considering that this was literally just a filler feud to get to Sting vs. Flair while Sting’s knee healed, this worked very well.

Overall Rating: B+. Considering this is the walking definition of a throwaway show (nothing really happened other than the tag titles changing), this is a VERY good show. Also, the home video omits the six man, the Taker match and the Samoans match, leaving you with just the hair match onward.

Translation: the home video is AWESOME, but the PPV version was just great. Either way though, the card is great as after the Samoan match, it’s all gravy baby as a buddy of mine would say. Very recommended show as it has the good stuff of the 80s but on a 90s setting. Find this if you can.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Slamboree 1998
Date: May 17, 1998
Location: The Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 11,592
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s a month after Spring Stampede and as you know already, Hogan is champion again. Therefore, he’s not on the card tonight. The main event is a tag title match with Sting/Giant vs. the Outsiders. Also we have an open challenge from Eric Bischoff to Vince McMahon, which is a very interesting story which I’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bunch of shots of main event guys with words popping up on the screen.

The announcers talk to open the show. Hart vs. Savage tonight too with Piper as guest referee. Hart cost Savage the title to Hogan apparently. Also Giant has joined the NWO (again) and wants to win the titles with Sting and have Sting join the black and white.

We now get to the real focus of the show: Eric and Vince. So Eric issued a challenge to Vince on Nitro. On Thunder, Eric read a letter from Vince, saying that it was illegal to imply Vince would be at the PPV. Now here’s where it gets good. Vince SUED Bischoff for false advertising, because it was still being implied that Vince would be there, which is how things work in wrestling. WCW settled out of court, allegedly for A LOT of money.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

Finlay is defending and has the referee take the belt off of him. He shoves Benoit so Benoit chops him HARD. Finlay goes to a top wristlock and pushes Benoit down with it but a great looking bridge keeps Benoit off the mat. Benoit tries the Crossface but Finlay reverses into an armbar. The fans are all over Finlay here. Benoit fights out of that and hooks a hiptoss for two.

They chop it out, resulting in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Chris. Fit’s Boston Crab attempt is countered but he clotheslines Benoit down and out to the floor. The champ works on the shoulder and then a rear chinlock back in the ring. Benoit escapes via an electric chair drop but Finlay is up first. Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit and they head to the floor. Benoit hits him in the back with a chair which is ok I guess. He sets for a suicide dive but Finlay holds up the chair and Benoit’s head crashes into it. I cringe a bit every time I see stuff like that now.

Back in, Finlay clotheslines him down again and it’s time for the chinlock. This one is shorter as Benoit kicks him off, shoulder first into the corner. Rolling Germans take Finlay down but he counters the third by ramming Benoit’s throat into the rope. A quick Crossface attempt is escaped but Benoit hits the snap suplex.

He loads up the Swan Dive but here’s Booker T. He doesn’t do anything but Benoit’s distraction allows Finlay to shove Benoit off the top. Back in a small package gets two for Benoit. He’s been using a lot of those quick rollups here. And never mind as Finlay hits the Tombstone out of nowhere for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and a solid opener, although cutting two or three minutes off would have made it better. Finlay is a guy that the more I see the more I like as he was a very stiff kind of wrestler which is the kind of stuff I tend to like. Benoit of course could go move for move with Finlay so that worked out fine. Good opener but it ran a bit long.

Jericho doesn’t care who he’s facing in the title match tonight. It’s decided by a battle royal later tonight.

Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger

Adams is the latest NWO lackey. I think this is somehow connected to the Steiners but I’m not sure what Heenan is talking about. Luger punches him immediately and knocks Adams to the floor. He goes after Adams’ shoulder, which is payback for Rick Steiner it seems. Lex calls for the Rack but stops to beat up Vincent, which lets Adams hit a piledriver to change the momentum. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside, Brian hits a backbreaker for two. Legdrop gets the same and then they clothesline each other. Vincent gets knocked off the apron and the Rack gets the tap out.

Rating: D. This had no business being on PPV. It should have been on Nitro or something, but I guess it filled in the six minutes that they needed. I’m still not 100% sure what happened with Steiner but I guess that’s because I haven’t watched the Nitros leading up to this. Luger’s push would eventually land him in the Wolfpack because…..well because Luger was a popular face.

Saturn says there’s no gauntlet match tonight. He’s fighting Goldberg on his own. What about Saturn? What about him?

Battle Royal

Super Calo, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, El Grio, Juventud Guerrera, Marty Jannetty, Kidman, Evan Karagis, Lenny Lane, Psychosis, Silver King, Johnny Swinger, Villano IV

There are fifteen cruiserweights in it and the winner gets Jericho for the title immediately thereafter. Jericho did some funny intros for all of them. You can be eliminated by pin or being thrown out of the ring, be it through or over the ropes. Karagis is put out first by Kidman. Everyone is doing little stuff to open things up as you would expect. Swinger is out and El Grio, a fat guy, goes up and takes a few guys down but not out.

Silver King went out somewhere in there. Lane and El Dandy have a short mini-match and Dandy backdrops Grio out. I think there are ten or eleven left in there. Someone puts Jannetty out and Damien eliminates Villano. There are eight left now. Lane poses on the ropes and gets knocked out as well. Damien tries to walk the ropes like an idiot and deserves the elimination he gets.

Chavo dropkicks Dandy out so we have Chavo, Psychosis, Kidman, Ciclope and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo to get us down to four. Psychosis misses a charge in the corner and eliminates himself. Juvy dumps Kidman and it’s down to Guerrera and Ciclope. They stare each other down for a LONG time, shake hands, and Juvy eliminates himself. More on this in a second.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The match only ran about eight minutes and the whole point was the surprise ending, and then the bigger surprise a few seconds later. There weren’t very many big spots here, but everyone got out fast enough. There’s not much to complain about or praise here so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.

Jericho gets in the ring and Ciclope immediately takes off his mask to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO. This gets an eruption from the crowd. See, the idea is that Jericho beat Malenko and Malenko left out of frustration. Jericho spent two months running his mouth about Malenko, so no one had seen Dean since March. People wanted to see him come back and beat the stuffing out of Jericho, and now Jericho had nowhere to run. It got people to care and the response is awesome.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho freaks out and Dean hammers on him, going off like he never has before in his WCW career. Jericho tries to wrestle but Dean just pounds him down time after time. Juvy is cheering at ringside. Dean throws Jericho into the barricade but Chris gets in some shots as Dean gets back in. Dean is like screw that and pounds Jericho down in the corner again. The champ finally gets a breather off a hot shot.

A senton backsplash puts Dean down but he doesn’t get covered. The crowd is all over Jericho here. Suplex gets two. Lionsault gets the same. A backbreaker looks to set up the Liontamer (the move that put Dean out) but Malenko counters into a quick ankle lock. Jericho gets to the rope and hits a jumping back elbow for two. Dean comes back AGAIN and beats Jericho’s head in. I’m liking this violent version of him. Jericho puts him on top but gets caught in the super gutbuster. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on and Jericho finally taps out, drawing one of the best pops from this era of WCW.

Rating: B. The match was just ok but the reaction is GREAT. This is what you call a well crafted story with a perfect ending in Jericho tapping out. Since this is WCW they screwed it up by giving Jericho the title back in two weeks but this worked very well. I think ti’s one of those storylines that would have been better had you went through the buildup though.

A white limo arrives as shown by, I kid you not, the Vinnie Mac cam. Tony takes shots at JR while we find out it’s not Vince.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

This is a Bowery Death Match, which means last man standing in a cage which has weapons inside. There’s a top on the cage too which makes it even better. Raven comes out with a bunch of guys in riot squad gear. Page goes fast to start and rams Raven’s head into the buckle over and over. Raven manages to send him into the cage to escape and things slow down.

Raven pours out his first bucket of weapons and picks a bullrope. Page clotheslines him down and takes the rope himself which goes around Raven’s neck. The other end of the rope goes around the top of the cage and Raven hangs him up from the cage, pulling on the rope with all of his weight. That gets an 8 so Page breaks a VCR over his head (holy stolen ECW spot Batman! It was bounced off Raven’s head in both companies).

Page goes after him again and is kicked into the trashcan, putting both guys down now. Bird Boy hits Page twice with the can for about a seven count each time. Cookie sheet shots do about the same. Raven puts on a sleeper but Page kicks away, knocking the referee down in the process. Another sleeper attempt results in a jawbreaker and the drop toehold onto the chair to Raven.

The Flock breaks through the riot squad and bring boltcutters with them. Van Hammer, recently thrown out of the Flock, pops up from under the ring and beats them up with a stop sign before any real damage can be done. A riot squad member hits Hammer and the rest of them get him out of here. Page is up and beating on Raven but the riot squad comes in anyway. It’s Kidman and Horace but there are two more somewhere else.

Page knocks Horace down and Diamond Cuts Kidman off the cage that Kidman was hanging from (looked awesome). They slug it out a bit more (that would be Raven and Page in case you’ve lost track) and Raven hits a Diamond Cutter on Page for about 8. A chair shot misses Page and the real Diamond Cutter gets the win for Page.

Rating: C. Decent brawl and I think it was the blowoff to the feud. If not it should be because there’s nothing else that Page can overcome in this feud. It wasn’t great though as it was more about the other guys than the two in the match which hurt it a good bit. Still though, entertaining enough and Page won in the end which is the right idea.

Post match another riot squad member comes in and cuffs I think Sick Boy to the cage before cuffing Raven and attacking him. He unmasks to reveal…..Mortis. Then he unmasks as Chris Kanyon who isn’t named yet. With Raven cuffed to the cage, Kanyon hits him with the chair (Chairshot heard round the world? What’s that?). Apparently Kanyon had been seen as a vendor lately at TV shows.

Back to the Vinnie cam which includes people being checked as they come in to make sure they’re not WWF guys.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

If Dragon wins, Chavo is freed from his uncle’s control. They go to the mat to start with Eddie in control. He gets a test of strength grip and drops onto Dragon’s bridge but can’t break it. That’s always cool to see. Dragon pops up and tries the kicks but Eddie ducks and hits a dropkick to take over again. Dragon hits a headscissors and monkey flip and then the kicks. The crowd is noticeably quieter than they were earlier in the night.

Eddie bails for a bit but comes back in only to get kicked even more. Off to a half crab by the masked man but Eddie escapes and hooks a chinlock. They go to the floor and Eddie wants Chavo to help with the beatdown but Chavo wants nothing to do with it. Dragon hits an enziguri to knock Eddie to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault, but it puts him down too.

Back inside Dragon hits something like Shock Treatment for two. Top rope moonsault gets two. Dragon tries his super rana but Eddie reverses into a tornado DDT but the Frog Splash misses. Dragon Sleeper goes on but Eddie gets a rope. Eddie hooks one of his own but Chavo breaks it up when Eddie cheats. Chavo argues on the apron and gets kicked down with a spin kick. Brainbuster and Frog Splash get the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I would expect more out of these two. This was more about the Eddie vs. Chavo feud and extending that out a bit more. I think this is the one that resulted in Chavo going insane but the timing seems off on that. Also I don’t remember the blowoff for it but I’d assume it was in a few weeks/months. The match was ok but would have probably been fine on Nitro.

Chavo looks at Eddie and then beats up Dragon because Dragon didn’t free him. Eddie is about to get punched but gets a kiss on the cheek instead. Ok then.

Vince has his own dressing room.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Saturn

This was supposed to be a Goldberg vs. Flock gauntlet match but they changed it the day of the show for no apparent reason. Saturn gets in some quick offense to start but Goldberg clotheslines him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam. A gorilla press drop sets up another clothesline and a superkick stops Saturn’s comeback. Saturn comes back with a legsweep and then he slaps Goldberg in the face for some reason.

A neckbreaker puts Saturn down and he pounds Perry in the corner. They go to the floor but Goldberg accidentally clotheslines the post. Back inside and Saturn hooks a sleeper which is broken with ease. A belly to belly puts but he pops up with a swinging neckbreaker and hooks a sleeper. Goldie hits a neckbreaker of his own to escape so Saturn pulls in a chair. He uses it as a springboard to dropkick Goldberg’s back but a second attempt results in a spear out of the air. Jackhammer and we’re done.

Rating: C. Way better than last month and I think it was partially because it was a minute or so shorter. That and the thicker air probably helped. Goldberg would be moved on to the world title in about two months as he should have been. Saturn would turn against the Flock soon and break them up for good.

Great American Bash ad, featuring Raven.

Here’s Eric for the Vince challenge. Eric actually has Buffer do an intro for Vince, who apparently is off saving a bus full of nuns because he’s not here. The referee counts and Bischoff officially wins. And they wonder why people eventually stopped caring about this company.

Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage

Piper is guest referee and this is payback for Bret costing Savage the title. See how easy that was? Savage is Wolfpack, Hart is black and white. Hart bails to the floor for some stalling but Piper throws him in instead. Bret keeps stalling and they lock up about a minute in. Hart goes to the eyes and pounds on Randy in the corner. Savage hits him low (I think) and chokes away while Piper shouts FIGHT over and over again.

Randy keeps choking and drops an elbow on the throat while Bret is on the mat. Bret comes back with a headbutt and legdrop followed by a suplex from the apron into the ring. Backbreaker still doesn’t get a cover. Out to the floor and Hart misses a big chair shot, getting sent into the steps as a punishment. They go into the crowd and fight around the hockey boards. At least I think they are as you can barely see their heads let alone the rest of them.

Back to ringside now as Piper gets praised for some reason. Bret goes for the knee which was injured coming in. Scott Hall has arrived at the arena now. Russian Legsweep and a piledriver get two. DDT puts Savage down but Bret talks to the fans instead of covering. A backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but he uses a traditional one instead and Savage moves. Savage snaps into a suplex for two.

Savage goes up and hits the big elbow but lands on his knee so the cover is delayed, meaning it only gets two. Bret gets up and hooks the Sharpshooter but here’s Liz for the save. She didn’t come out with Savage here either. And never mind as Savage broke the hold before she got here and put the hold on Bret. Liz comes in and shoves Piper, which distracts Savage long enough for Bret to hit him low. Bret has a foreign object and clocks Piper with it but Savage steals it away. Cue Hogan who wraps Savage’s leg around the post. Sharpshooter and we’re done.

Rating: D. The opening ten to twelve minutes were REALLY boring, then it picked up a bit, then we had two run-ins and a foreign object for the ending. The match was just boring and it really hurt things here. It was clear that neither guy cared that much at this point and can you blame them? Neither guy was going to get anywhere near the main event longer than a quick stretch at a time because Hogan and Nash were dominating things. This had moments but not enough of them.

Tag Titles: Sting/The Giant vs. Outsiders

Guess who has the titles coming in. Dusty is with the Outsiders which is supposed to mean something. So Hall and Nash are Wolfpack, Giant is Black and White and Sting is whatever. Giant wants him in the NWO but he hasn’t given an answer yet. Hall and Sting start us off with Sting walking into a chokeslam but coming back with his kind of bulldog move. A pair of Stinger Splashes sets up the Scorpion but Nash makes the save.

Giant comes in and the mixed faction team clears the ring. The biggest man comes in legally so Hall does his Frankenstein (‘s monster) deal and tags Nash. Nash gets run over so Giant does the Hogan hand to his ear. An elbow drop keeps Nash down and Giant sends him to the corner for some hip attacks. The fans chant for the Wolfpack as Sting comes in and walks into a big boot for the Outsiders to take over.

Hall’s fallaway slam gets two. Back to Nash for some Snake Eyes and then Hall gets another tag. The Outsiders work Sting over and Hall does his abdominal stretch. Nash hits the side slam and it’s bearhug time. Sting escapes for a bit and dives at Nash to make the tag. Giant comes in and takes Nash down and drops a leg for two. He goes up top (oh boy) but his splash misses. Nash sets for the powerbomb but Hall turns on him, hits him with the belt and Giant gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was another slow and boring match with a bad ending. Usually I would go into some intentionally complicated statement of what just happened and say something like “got all that?” after it but I can’t figure it out well enough to type it all up. That’s the problem with something like this: it got way too complicated way too fast and when you need a flow chart to tell what’s going on, it’s not going to last long.

Post match Hall, Giant and Rhodes all hug. Sting would join the Wolfpack soon. Giant tells Sting to come join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Of the three I’ve done, this was certainly the best but that’s not really saying much. There are parts here that are certainly good, but the WNO stuff was so overdone and so overly complicated that everyone stopped caring. They had to elevate Goldberg because they had no one to put out there as the top face of the company. The show was ok at times but man once WCW started to go downhill, it went off a cliff, through the ground, around the world and over the cliff again. This would be the start of that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Another WCW PPV for you here. This one looks a little less boring than the Bash, but that’s not really saying much. The main event here is Page, the world champion, defending against Nash. We also get the first bout in the EPIC Flair vs. Piper feud, and I’m sure you’re all dying to see that. Let’s get to it.

We open with your standard video talking about a big match tonight, which here is Goldberg vs. Sting. Also Flair vs. Piper plus a few others but it’s mainly those two.

Tony is in a leather jacket for some reason. The announcers run down the card.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Video on DDP.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

Horace and Vincent of the NWO Black and White are with Ray. The fans here in St. Louis are awesome as they’ll cheer for any face and boo any heel. Why is that so complex? Ray pounds him down in the corner but Konnan pounds him on the middle rope while making oral sex gestures. Vincent gets on the apron to break up a pin attempt. He cheats a bit more on the floor and the fans aren’t all that thrilled here.

Off to a chinlock as Ray thinks of something new he can do other than kicks and forearms. He chokes away which is at least new. Back to the chinlock for more time in the think tank. Suplex gets two and there’s the jump off the ropes into a boot spot. Konnan speeds things up and messes up a leapfrog. X Factor puts Ray down but Horace trips K-Dawg up. Here’s Rey to distract the goons and Konnan wins with a rollup (with a pretty fast count).

Rating: D-. Really dull match here but at least it was kind of logical: once Rey is there to counteract Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, Konnan can get the pin on his own. Stevie is just so freaking boring without Booker there to help him out that there’s no need to have him out here, especially on a PPV. Boring match and not any good at all.

Video on Kevin Nash.

Video on Sting.

Page talks to Bigelow in the back but we can’t hear what’s being said.

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is for the moniker King of Hardcore, which isn’t an official title. This of course is a hardcore match if you didn’t get the idea there. There isn’t going to be much to talk about in this. It’s your standard hardcore match with both guys being hit in the head with generic pieces of metal. There’s an RVD sign in the crowd. Heenan tells the announcers to be quiet so he can hear the weapon shots.

Bigelow hits a top rope headbutt for two. Out to the floor and there’s still nothing to talk about. It’s pretty much the same as every hardcore match you’ll ever see. Knobbs’ trashcan shot is blocked by a waiter’s tray which winds up going on top of Brian’s head. Bigelow is in control here. The fans want a table. There are long stretches here where there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just random weapon shots and the announcers laughing.

They fight up the aisle with Knobbs using a trashcan to keep control. There’s the internet location getting its required cameo. They go old school here with the fake souvenir stand that no fan would be able to get to because it’s on the arena floor. We go behind a curtain (revealing about 1/5 of the arena being tarped off) and there’s a ladder shot. An elbow off the stands onto a table misses for Knobbs (I think, you can’t see anything) and Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the pin.

Rating: F. Heenan’s final line of “and they do this for a living” sums things up well. Why in the world did Knobbs of all people have a job here? The match sucked due to there being nothing interesting here at all. There was no comedy spot, there was nothing other than the most basic weapons available, and nothing interesting happened at all. Bad match and really boring. Also it ran almost 12 minutes. Inexcusable.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker. Booker won a match against Steiner with help from Stevie, who is in the NWO (Booker never was). Ray saved him again but Rick came in to beat him up. Rick vs. Booker started up again so let’s have a TV Title match again.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T

Booker is champion here if I didn’t make that clear. Rick starts out with a belly to belly release and a couple of Steiner Lines. I think he’s the heel here but I’m not sure. More control by Steiner until Booker kicks him in the face to put him down. Steiner pops up of course because he isn’t going to sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Booker. I think he’s either heel here or borderline heel.

Steiner takes over on the floor and things slow way down. Time for a chinlock again. The crowd is very quiet. Steiner punches a lot and the fans don’t care. A bunch of punches gets two and here’s that chinlock again. Booker fights back and hits the axe kick, a spinebuster and the missile dropkick but STEINER WON’T SELL THEM. Here’s what happens after every move: Steiner lays there about 2-4 seconds then gets up like nothing happened. Scott finally runs out for the distraction and a Steiner Line gets two. Scott trips Booker and the Bulldog off the ropes gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Just a horribly boring match here as Rick is beyond worthless in the ring at this point. Naturally the answer to that is to give him a title for four months. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING Booker did here and Booker looks like a joke as a result. Bad match but as usual, most of it is due to Rick being lazy and not selling anything.

Time to recap the stupid match of the show. Randy Savage is out of wrestling at this point so he’s putting one of his chicks (the hot one) in there against Lil Naitch in the form of referee Charles Robinson. Yes this match is happening.

Rick rambles to Buff in the back and wishes him luck against Scott later. Gee, that must be totally genuine right?

Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson

Ok to be fair, Robinson’s Flair costume is AWESOME. He has the robe, he has the hair, he looks exactly like a small Nature Boy. Even his face looks like him. Flair and Savage are seconds here. Asya and the other chicks are here too. To be fair, George was indeed hot. Flair, the President of WCW at the time, says he’d like to have Madusa ride Space Mountain. Miss Maddness can come too, but George is being saved for Robinson. Robinson rips George a bit and he sounds EXACTLY like Flair. This is the best imitation I’ve seen in years. Savage (POP) says George will win.

Robinson struts a lot as they stall for a few minutes. George goes after the arm and Robinson reverses. Off to a full nelson and snapmare as George is dominant. Flair and Robinson get rammed together so Savage has to come in and protect George. Robinson goes for a chair but Miss Madness steals it. She gets slammed outside and Savage FREAKS. I mean freaks by his standards.

Back in Robinson takes over with a choke and then does more of that. George comes back with a few chops and Robinson does the flip in the corner and runs the apron, only to get slammed off the top. Heenan says this is great and I can’t say I disagree. There’s a Flair Flop and they’re getting tired. The heels cheat a bit and work over George’s knee but Madusa makes the save.

Robinson works on the knee and if the match continues like it has, that means we’re heading for the Figure Four. He hooks the knee a bit and cranks on it for awhile. Here’s the Figure Four and while it looks good, it’s on the wrong knee. She reverses it and Flair comes in for the save. Savage chases him off and beats up Robinson so George can drop a half decent looking middle rope elbow for the pin. Savage is reinstated.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but at the end of the day we have a referee and a manager in there. Robinson’s Flair impression is absolutely excellent and one of the best I’ve ever seen. George really is gorgeous and it’s a shame she wasn’t around in wrestling more than she was. That being said, this was decent enough all things considered. Ten and a half minutes was too long, but it wasn’t boring and they were trying which is more important than anything else.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Bagwell was a face and made fun of him so Steiner said he had a big ego. Bagwell imitated him and it wasn’t really funny.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

Video on Goldberg. These videos are just their music playing over clips of them. They only last about 15-20 seconds each.

Now to really crank it up, here’s a video on all four people in the main events. There aren’t any words to this so the feuds still aren’t explained.

The third straight video (at least they’re short) is on Flair being president and being insane. He’s signing contracts without reading them and one of them is for a match with Piper for the Presidency. Flair thinks he’s President of the United States. I kid you not, this was the second biggest wrestling company in the world at this point. Oh and he went to a mental hospital and thought he was in a hotel. Again, this is what we mean when we say insulting to our intelligence.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Recap of Sting vs. Goldberg. This is for who the franchise is or something.

Sting vs. Goldberg

Tony is either trying to explain what we just saw or is questioning it himself. I’m really not sure. I’m also not sure why this match is happening but who cares? Sting has white boots with black toes. It makes as much sense as anything else here. Goldberg takes him down and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. Sting stalls on the floor and then takes Goldberg to the floor with a clothesline.

Goldberg hooks a cross armbreaker but it isn’t on correctly. Sting fights out of it and we go to a test of strength. He takes out Goldberg’s braced knee (oh sweet psychology, how I missed you) and puts on a Boston Crab which is quickly broken. Goldberg fights back with power moves and things slow WAY down. Top rope clothesline by Sting sets up some Stinger Splashes but Goldberg catches him in a spinebuster which is called a spear. And here’s Bret Hart with a chair and it’s a no contest.

Rating: D. Another bad match. I mean seriously, this show SUCKS. There’s been nothing but boring matches (aside from the opener) and stuff that is basically around to set up matches on Nitro rather than HERE ON THE FREAKING PPV. Nothing to see here as they basically kept it as slow gear as possible.

And then the Steiners run out and beat up Goldberg and Sting. WHY ARE THEY THE FOCAL POINT OF A SHOW IN 1999????

Another wordless video on Page vs. Nash. No word on why they’re fighting but there’s clearly no thinking anywhere else in this show so who cares?

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

And Buffer’s mic doesn’t work right. Seriously, fold already. You can hear him in the arena but not over the PPV feed. Page is champion. Early Cutter attempt is blocked and Page hits the floor. We actually get a reference to the Vegas Connection. Page hammers away but runs his mouth to get himself sent to the floor. Back inside and Nash hammers away. Page charges at Nash and finally kicks him low to take over.

Page rips a buckle off and hits him with the mic for two. He gets sent into the exposed steel though and both guys are down. Page takes over and sends him to the floor. A baseball slide puts Nash down and there’s a Diamond Cutter to kill Nash out there. It only gets two in the ring but at least there was a delay. Now Page goes for the knee for no apparent reason.

He wraps it around the post a few times and pounds on Nash again. There’s something going on in the crowd so they change the camera angle, which is pretty smart. Nash makes his comeback and hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle. Back to the regular angle. Nash….at least limp. Big boot and Jackknife….but here’s Savage to break it up for the LAME DQ. So is he a heel now too?

I would rate it here, but Eric comes out AGAIN and restarts the match. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ. Discus lariat gets the same. And here’s a sleeper, which looks awful because Nash is so tall. Now Nash hooks an even WORSE sleeper but Page jawbreaks his way out of it for two. A chair shot hits the rope and Page takes it in the face for two. Low blow gets two for Page. And then Nash kicks the chair into Page’s face, takes the straps down and wins the title via the Jackknife.

Rating: D. The fans popped for the ending, but I’m just spent at this point. There’s nothing interesting here and the run in and restart made no sense, which is what the name of the show should be. Nash would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Savage before Hogan took it the next night. This was nothing interesting at all and the knee selling coming and going hurt things.

Overall Rating: F-. This is usually were I’d make some witty statement about how this show was so bad it goes beyond bad ratings or something, but there’s nothing left in me after watching this mess. The illogical stories, the stupid booking, the overdoing it with the Steiners, the worthless world title change, and the bad matches just made me completely uninterested by the end of this show. I haven’t felt like that about a PPV in a very long time, but this just drained me completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Slamboree 2000
Date: May 7, 2000
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 7,165
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

 

Since I’m running out of PPVs to do and I don’t really have many shows in WCW to do marathons with, I’ll just go chronologically but in reverse of the ones I haven’t done. In other words, I’m doing this show and then Spring Stampede from the previous month and Super Brawl from February so that I have the year 2000 complete. As for this show, it’s 2000 WCW and David Arquette is world champion. Need I say more? Let’s get to it.

 

We open with a clip from Thunder with the New Blood facing off with the Millionaire’s Club in a 22 man battle royal. The winner gets the shot at the Great American Bash. This resulted in Randy Savage returning for his final WCW appearance and Flair winning.

 

The Millionaire’s Club arrives on their bus while the New Blood watches. Old vs. New in a Bischoff company? Surely you jest!

 

Opening video is about Flair vs. Douglas which is a big feud in the mind of Shane Douglas. Oh and other old vs. new matches are here also.

 

Cruiserweight Title: The Artist vs. Chris Candido

 

Candido is champion. Tammy does the show me thing because it’s the Show Me state. She does look decent but it’s not quite Sunny levels. Candido is New Blood as is Artist kind of. The New Blood has all titles other than the Hardcore Title which we’ll get to next review. Artist is Prince Iaukea and wrestles in a collared shirt and dress pants. They botch something to start and Candido is launched over the top to the floor.

 

Chris goes up for a big dive and lands on Artist. The fans aren’t all that interested but some of the spots look ok. There’s a ramp again and Artist goes head first into it. Piledriver out there doesn’t work and back in we go. Why did Iaukea keep getting pushed? I mean the guy was nothing special in the ring and his gimmicks never really worked nor were they anything interesting, so why did he constantly have a job?

 

Artist is sent to the floor again as this is a pretty sloppy match. By sloppy I mean it feels like they’re just going through moves with zero rhyme or reason. The moves aren’t anything interesting other than some dives which are ok at best. Back in and Candido hits a low blow to take over again.

 

Artist tries his jumping DDT off the top which misses and they do a horrible looking rollup for two. The fans aren’t pleased to say the least. Iaukea gets a Samoan Drop off the middle rope but Tammy and Paisley go at it to distract the referee. Sunny swings for Paisley with a chair and hits Artist by mistake. It gets three and the bell rings but the referee says two. Candido hits a swan dive and now it’s three. Well ok then.

 

Rating: D+. Meh is a good word here and that’s about all there is to say about it. Neither guy is anything interesting at all and the match wasn’t any good either. The botches were pretty bad and it was something resembling heel vs. heel. I have no idea what the point of the Artist was and I don’t think WCW or the fans did either.

 

Tammy gets stripped post match.

 

The announcers make fun of Arquette being champion.

 

Video of Terry Funk getting beaten up a lot.

 

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley/???

 

Funk is “the one that got away” and is the only champion who isn’t New Blood. It’s a handicap match and Funk goes to find Norman in a bathroom. Norman jumps him with a fire extinguisher which is his first brilliant idea ever. He’s in a Royals jersey and the mystery partner was in the bathroom in a catcher’s mask. Funk is getting destroyed here as Norman keeps throwing trashcans at him.

 

They break through Mean Gene’s interview area and Madden makes pitcher/catcher jokes. We still don’t know who the mystery partner is. Funk realizes he’s fighting a fat guy in a catcher’s mask and Norman Smiley so he goes on offense. Norman is doing everything here as the mystery partner is just standing there. The announcers are pointing out that he’s the worst mystery partner ever so it’s intentional.

 

Funk covers Smiley and the mystery guy is holding a trashcan. He has a bunch of clear shots and does nothing with them. They haven’t been in the arena at all yet. We even get a Bubba the Love Sponge reference from Madden. Norman is gone and Funk beats up the masked fat dude. He beats the mask out of the mystery man and it’s RALPHUS!!! There goes the shirt and Smiley has to make the save with a ladder.

 

They’re in the ring now and the fans don’t really know who Ralphus is. Oh wait I think they do now. The announcers are dying from this and to be fair it’s a comedy match so I think this is all ok. Funk is busted open by “the Hardcore Wiggler”. Norman busts out the Big Wiggle and the fans LOVE it. Now Ralphus wants to wiggle. Oh dear. Terry does the first smart thing of the match and kills Ralphus dead with a chair and rolls up Norman to retain.

 

Rating: C. It’s a comedy match and it didn’t try to be anything other than that. This is one of those matches that you know what you’re getting when you sign up for it and if you’re expecting something else you’ve totally missed the point. The fans were into the idea of this and reacted pretty well to Ralphus once they got what was going on and that’s all they needed to do. This was fine.

 

Norman and Ralphus dance post match and the fans love it. Since it’s WCW though, he was never pushed as anything for the fans because that might make them happy right?

 

Arquette gets here and says he has his own money and doesn’t need his wife’s money. Thanks for sharing?

 

Shawn Stasiak vs. Curt Hennig

 

Ok so the idea here is that Stasiak is known as the Perfect One and he’s openly stealing Hennig’s character. If Stasiak had been more talented, this could have been a decent idea. We talk about how both guys are second generation guys and that Stasiak’s dad held a version of the world title (WWF Title) but no mention is made of Hennig holding the AWA belt.

 

They trade armdrags and it’s some very basic and technical stuff to get us going. The Misfits in Action are at ringside for no apparent reason. They were fired or something but were running in anyway. Stasiak chokes him on the announce table and hits a top rope clothesline for two. The mat is echoing a lot. They go back to the ramp and Hennig can’t slam him.

 

Off to a sleeper by Stasiak and the fans think it’s boring. I can’t exactly say I disagree since this has been a pretty uninteresting match all around. They’re just going through the motions that you go through when you have a wrestling match and it’s nothing interesting at all. Hennig starts his comeback and hammers away with strikes and his back appears to be fine now. Back to the Misfits for no reason. Why do we keep cutting to them? Either way since it’s a Hennig match, he takes a slingshot into the post and the Hennigplex ends this for Stasiak. Stasiak used the Hennigplex to win if that’s unclear.

 

Rating: D. I don’t get this one. Hennig looked like a total joke and the match never started at all for the most part. It’s just boring and the crowd really didn’t care. They seemed to like Hennig and then he got crushed for the most part. This was just a step ahead of a squash, which isn’t what you expect when you have these two in the ring.

 

Scott Steiner seems mad at Russo.

 

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus

 

Morrus says his name is now Hugh G. Rection. Oh here we go. That’s his REAL name too. Oh dear. At least we get to see Shakira and Midajah with Steiner. Steiner is champion here and hammers away in the corner to start. Rection wants to be called Captain Rection. He sends Steiner to the floor and it’s time to stall. Madden gets in his jokes like Rection is working stiff in there.

 

The girls try to distract Rection and since faces are idiots, it allows Steiner to take over again. Spinwheel kick gets two for the challenger. Top rope elbow gets no cover because as explained earlier: Rection is an idiot. The girls cheat again and crotch Rection because he was stupid enough to go up top right in front of them. Steiner goes for the elbow/pushups but instead of doing the pushups he lunges at the referee. Well he is insane you know. If you didn’t you’ll be told at least 47 times in 5 minutes.

 

A suplex gets two so Steiner yells that the referee sucks. Off to a bearhug as Steiner squeezes the life out of him. Another suplex hits and Steiner stops to argue with a fan. A pretty bad butterfly suplex/powerbomb gets no cover so Rection reverses a tombstone for another non-cover. The girls interfere AGAIN and the moonsault misses. The Recliner ends this.

 

Rating: D. This match sums up both WCW and Russo in a nutshell: it’s not a horrible power brawl but the same stuff over and over again like people needing to cover when they shouldn’t and then the girls running in every 8 seconds keeps the matches from ever getting good. That being said, there’s only so much you can get out of these two, especially when Steiner was all nuts and such. Also, the guy’s name is Hugh G. Rection. That takes me out of the match every time I hear it and that’s not what should happen in a serious match.

 

Booker makes the save post match from a bigger beating.

 

Kanyon says he’s supporting Page and that blood is thicker than water. It’s a promo about how he sees Page as a brother and he’ll never turn on him. In about three months or so, say it with me, HE TURNS ON PAGE. Keep that in mind as we get to the ending of the show because it will make you roll your eyes very hard.

 

Mike Awesome vs. Kanyon

 

This is serious Awesome and not the 70s Guy yet. Awesome put Kanyon through a table to set this up. The fans are all distracted by something else to start so Awesome hits a HUGE dive to the floor, drawing an ECW chant. Kanyon sends him into the post as there’s more energy in this match than the rest of the show combined up to this point. Kanyon hits a running front flip dive off the apron to put Awesome down.

 

Back in and Awesome hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back to the floor and Mike fires off some chair shots to put Chris down. Yes I’m on first name basis with the two dead guys. They fight into the crowd and Awesome keeps the advantage. Back in and we debate the best powerbomb in wrestling with Nash being declared the best. Back to the floor again for about the fourth time and Kanyon gets hit with a chair again. They were using “relaxed rules” at this point which meant they were trying to rip off ECW and the WWF formula in every match instead of just the main events like WWF did.

 

Kanyon crotches Mike on the top and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Another neckbreaker gets two. The fans are getting into this quickly. Samoan Drop into a front face drop gets two. Kanyon tries a powerbomb but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for no cover. There’s the regular powerbomb and Kanyon lands on his head. FREAKING OW MAN.

 

Awesome, probably trying to let Kanyon figure out if he’s alive or not, goes outside and pulls the pads back. Kanyon is like screw it and fights back but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block by Awesome. He loads up the over the top powerbomb but Kanyon escapes, only to allow the American to hit a German to the American (Kanyon) and outside we go again. Awesome sets for something and here’s Nash for the run-in. The rest of the New Blood and Millionaire’s Club come in also and it’s thrown out.

 

Rating: B-. I was liking it but the constant going outside and the stupid ending hurt it a lot. This felt like the main event of Nitro rather than a definitive PPV match. These two had some chemistry together and it was a good match as a result. Keep these two in mind as they’ll be back later on to totally ruin the show in the end.

 

We recap Luger vs. Bagwell for the 8000th time. The idea here is that Russo has “stolen” Liz or something and Luger wants her back. Bagwell is the guy doing the fighting for Russo.

 

Russo tells Liz there’s a surprise coming and that Liz needs to go change her rather sexy dress.

 

Lex Luger vs. Buff Bagwell

 

Oh wait it’s the Total Package. Yeah screw that. Based on the entrances you would think that the stoic Luger is heel and the energetic Buff was the face but it’s WCW so why would logic be in use here? Tony: “Are Kronik the world tag team champions?” Good to see that ace journalism we’ve come to know and love from WCW. Lots of stalling to start as both guys have to pose.

 

Buff takes over and plays to the crowd too much to be a heel. Luger is supposed to be all distracted which is why he’s not destroying Bagwell early on. Then Tony messes up that whole dynamic as he says this is an even match most of the time. Lex gets a suplex for two. Luger takes over and we head to the floor. That lasts only a few moments as Buff hits a double arm DDT for two.

 

And let’s hit that chinlock! Bagwell wastes some time with that and hits a splash of all things for two. This show isn’t particularly horrible but it’s just boring. These are the worst kind of shows because it’s not something that bad but there’s nothing to get excited about or interested in at all. Camel clutch goes on to kill some more time. Bagwell does the Arn Anderson spot where he jumps out of a hold onto Luger’s knees to crotch him.

 

We cut to Russo in the back who says this is the best part. Liz runs in with a bat and whacks Russo in the knees. Good thing there was a ball bat laying around. She comes out with the bat and swings it at Buff but gets caught, allowing Buff to get a shot in at Luger with said bat. Now Liz manages to hit Buff and the Rack ends this because a professional wrestler hitting you in the ribs with a baseball bat isn’t enough to prevent Luger from throwing said wrestler onto his shoulders right?

 

Rating: D. Another pretty weak match here but the point of it was that Lex gets his chick back which was accomplished. Well that and the new feud starting up which we’ll get to here in a second. That being said, it wasn’t a good match. There was way too much stalling and the face/heel dynamic was all over the place. That’s the running theme of this show: not terrible ideas being executed badly.

 

Luger and Liz celebrate and Chuck Palumbo debuts as the New Total Package, complete with the same outfit as the surprise. What a Perfect idea that we haven’t seen before. Palumbo gets a Perfect Torture Rack to leave him there. Liz is stolen again.

 

Shane Douglas rants about Flair because Flair has caused every single one of Shane’s problems in his career. If you don’t agree, just talk to Shane because he can’t go 5 minutes without explaining it to you.

 

Shane Douglas vs. Ric Flair

 

Flair is in street clothes and gets five minutes with Russo if he wins. He insists on having the ropes opened for him because he’s world champion. Not exactly but Flair was never known for sanity. Flair even references ECW and here we go. They chop it out and Flair takes over because that’s what he does. Flair gets slammed off the top and Shane hooks a Figure Four. Shane is no Jay Lethal though so Flair makes the ropes.

 

Ric takes three low blows but chops away again. Another figure four is reversed and Flair gets a Greco Roman Ball Shot to the Franchise and we head to the floor. Flair pounds away for a bit and back inside now. Shane hits a suplex and pulls out his signature chain. Shane hits rolling vertical suplexes which were kind of cool.

 

Flair fights back with his usual stuff and kicks Douglas in the balls a lot. This lack of disqualifications is really getting old as it totally takes you out of the wrestling aspect of the show. Flair goes after the knee and goes for the Figure Four but here’s “Russo” in a Sting mask to hit him with a bat, letting Shane get a rollup for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. I hate to keep giving these not horrible matches such low grades but a lot of them just aren’t that good. The DQ stuff is really getting old because the matches turn into brawls with all kinds of low blows and chair shots and it’s not interesting after about two of them. Flair is in street clothes for no apparent reason and the interference (again) is what ends this one also, just like earlier. Not thrilled with this one at all.

 

Post match, you guessed it: more ball shots. Bagwell is here too. “Russo”, still in the Sting mask, is told to get in the ring. Luger comes out and throws him in but Russo comes up from behind and blasts Luger (who is fine apparently) with something. And “Sting” is David Flair. This would start a LONG feud where David turned on his father for being a bad father and made Russo into his dad. The five minute clock starts while Russo hammers on Flair with the bat. Here’s Nash but Daffney distracts him letting Russo, David and Daffney stand tall after some bat shots. This took way too long.

 

We recap Sting vs. Vampiro. They’re both insane and into the creepy/occult stuff and there were bloodbaths involved.

 

Sting vs. Vampiro

 

They brawl on the ramp to start and Sting hits a quick suplex to take over. Into the ring and Sting hits a missile dropkick and a big dive back to the floor. WHERE HAS THIS STING BEEN FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS??? They go to the announce table and Sting DDTs him on the floor. All Sting so far. Back in the ring and Vampiro comes back with what else, a low blow.

 

Top rope clothesline ala Kane puts Sting down and Vampy goes out to grab a lead pipe. See, this is what I’m talking about. The referee is totally cool with this due to the “relaxed rules.” What does this prove about wrestling? It’s a Russo trademark and it gets really annoying, especially after two hours of it already. They have a quick brawl on the ramp with Vampiro totally in control.

 

The fans chant for Sting so he gets hit by another pipe shot, making it about four or five times now. Vampiro goes for some punches in the corner but gets caught by something resembling a powerbomb out of the corner after, say it with me, A LOW BLOW. Sting fires off some pipe shots and then two Splashes/Death Drops and we’re done.

 

Rating: C. Sting’s athletics made this one as he looked great out there and more fired up than I remember him being in forever in this period. The idea of Vampiro trying to be the new Sting and pushing him as far as he can until Sting overwhelmed him was well done, which is why they feuded for months on end after this right?

 

DDP and Arquette (dressed as Elvis if he was a gay vampire) agree that DDP will do the fighting and Arquette goes up top to hide but he shouldn’t grab the belt.

 

Nash is going Russo hunting.

 

Kidman is with Torrie, Bischoff and Kimberly. He’s ready for Hogan tonight and Bischoff is referee.

 

Billy Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan

 

Eric is referee here and this is Terry Bollea, aka Hulk Hogan according to the announcers. At least Kimberly is hot as a heel. Hogan has Horace with him. This is about Hogan saying Kidman couldn’t headline a match at a flea market so Kidman is all annoyed. Kidman got three fluke wins but this is the blowoff. And never mind Horace as he’s thrown out. Hogan ducks coming in and Kidman takes over.

 

They mess something up and Kidman gets a small package for two. You know for as big as Hogan is, it’s kind of weird to see him against someone that isn’t either as big or almost as big as him. And hey there’s a chair which Kidman is dropped onto ribs first. Hogan is in street clothes (kind of). Here’s something you don’t see every day: Hogan taking a hurricanrana.

 

They go out to the floor and Hogan sends Kidman into the railing to keep up the offense. Kidman sends Torrie into Hogan to shift things back again. It’s weight belt time but Eric steals it and has it “stolen” by Kidman. The fans are behind Hogan here at least. Hogan is like screw this and hits a hip toss over the top. Kidman knows how to bump very well so the flying all over the place makes Hogan’s power look great.

 

Back in Eric won’t count. Belly to back gets no count. Kidman avoids some elbows and stomps away. The idea of Kidman not being able to really hurt Hulk is the right idea because Hogan can’t be hurt by monsters so why should he here? Hogan realizes he’s fighting Billy Kidman and goes for the finish but Bischoff gets in the way of the legdrop. There’s a chair for Bischoff and Hogan gets a pair of tables from under the ring. One of them is broken so Hogan sets it against the ropes.

 

Out of nowhere though Kidman gets in a chair shot and Hogan is busted. To be fair the fans are completely behind Hogan here so the comeback is the right way to go. Kidman misses a chair shot and down goes Bischoff. Hogan puts Eric through a table and here’s a third piece of weak wood. Mark: “WHO PUTS ALL THESE TABLES OUT HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE???” Kidman gets a low blow in and puts up another table but the splash through it misses and Hogan gets the easy pin with Horace popping up to move Eric’s hand for him.

 

Rating: C+. Hulk Hogan just had the second best match of the night in 2000. I’m as shocked as you are. It’s not bad here as while it’s a huge mess, that’s the point of a gimmick match and it worked pretty well here. Kidman never went anywhere after this but the match wasn’t all that horrible and it’s fun to see Hogan do something other than a power match.

 

Russo runs from Nash.

 

We recap Jarrett vs. Page vs. Arquette which started with Jarrett getting Kimberly to turn New Blood and let Jeff win the title. Page got the title back so Jarrett took Arquette hostage, resulting in the most ridiculous thing in the history of wrestling: David Arquette won the World Heavyweight Championship. He tried to put it up in the cage match and vacate it but Bischoff made it a three way for no apparent reason.

 

Jarrett says he’ll win.

 

WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

It’s a triple cage match where the bottom is like the Cell and there’s a hardcore cage on top of that, which has a bunch of weapons on it. On top of that there’s a cage with a bunch of guitars around it with a cage a single person can fit into. The belt is hanging from the ceiling above that cage which has to be climbed to pull the belt down. It really is an impressive looking structure.

 

While the introductions are going on, a few things should be noted about Arquette: he didn’t want to do this but Russo insisted it was a brilliant idea. Second, every dollar he made from this he donanted to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman and Darren Drozdov (recently paralyzed in a match). Before I forget you have to use a ladder to get to the second cage through I’m guessing a trapdoor.

 

The bell rings and Arquette runs. Well at least he’s thinking. Basically you’ll get Page vs. Jarrett for the majority of the match which means it’ll be decent enough. Page gets a clothesline in the ring and calls for Arquette to go up to the top where he misses a splash. Page tries to get a ladder but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to send Page into the cage again. And down goes David as Page sends Jarrett into Arquette into the cage.

 

Page posts Jeff and goes for the ladder and ultimately the second cage. Jarrett is busted open but manages to suplex Page off the ladder. The ladder is in the corner and not set up so both guys are sent into it as is the ladder match custom. Jeff brings in a second ladder and they both start climbing. Page knocks him off and is in the second cage first. Jeff follows quickly and instead of just going through the door he grabs a weapon and gets caught.

 

The floor of the cage they’re in is made of the top of the other cage and has wide spaces, making it easy to slip in. Page is busted also and Jarrett tries to climb the wall, only to get caught. They ram each other into the cage wall and it falls down. Keep in mind they’re on top of something the size of Hell in a Cell. This isn’t exactly on the mat and almost falling to the floor.

 

Hey, I have a great idea! LET’S SET UP A TABLE ON TOP OF A CAGE WITH BIG HOLES IN THE FLOOR! Page gets something like a powerslam through it and both guys are down. The floor is pretty weak but it’s not as bad as a scaffold match. Arquette hasn’t been seen in about five minutes. There he is and here he comes. Arquette goes to the top of the hardcore cage and is totally alone, meaning he could easily retain the title. Since he doesn’t, you might as well hold up a big sign saying SHOCK HEEL TURN.

 

Page sets for a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett on top of the Cell (they’re outside the hardcore cage so it’s almost like the moat of a castle if that makes sense) but Mike Awesome pops in to break it up. There’s a Diamond Cutter for him and Arquette is on top of the third cage. Page and Jarrett go up and head into the guitar room. Jarrett misses a shot as does Page. He hands one to Arquette to play defense with and as both wrestlers climb, say it with me, ARQUETTE TURNS ON PAGE. Jarrett wins the title.

 

Rating: B. Above all else, this match shows the fundamental flaw in Vince Russo’s style: this was a good match and there was zero reason for Arquette to be involved at all. As explained during the match, Jarrett was mad at Page because Page was in Ready to Rumble and he wasn’t. They met in a tournament final at the previous PPV for the title with Jarrett winning and then Page got the belt, making this the blowoff match.

 

DDP vs. Jarrett in a big gimmick cage match (from the movie so it makes even more sense) is more than ok for a PPV main event. They have chemistry together too so the match was going to be pretty good at least. But for Russo that’s not enough so he adds in David Arquette, making it look like any guy off the street (which for Arquette is true from a physical standpoint) can win the title. The title looks bad and instead of WCW having a match that looks like it’s even more crazy and awesome than Hell in a Cell, this match is remembered for David Arquette coming in as world champion. Just let the wrestlers wrestle.

 

Post match Awesome sets for a powerbomb off the cage but Kanyon makes the save. Then Awesome throws Kanyon off the cage and through the ramp, making the announcers all stoic like he’s dead. The shot of Kanyon laying motionless ends the show.

 

Did I mention this is the arena where Owen Hart fell to his death less than a year before this show?

 

Overall Rating: D. This is one of those really hard ones to grade. They’ve done such worse shows that you really can’t call this their worst. Even though most of the matches were pretty weak they were trying and there’s certainly a coherent story to the show. It’s not a good shot to put it mildly but it goes by quick and nothing is atrocious. Most of the bad matches would have been better if the “relaxed rules” hadn’t been in place. This isn’t horrible but other than the main event there isn’t much to see here at all.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the history of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

Since TNA is stupid and had two Final Resolutions in 2008, you get this until I can find a copy. This is WCW Canadian PPV debut so the main event is a tournament final of Benoit vs. Hart for the world title. The title was vacated this time because WCW decided to have the world champion’s (Sting) opponent (Hogan) at Halloween Havoc lay down for him and then have Goldberg squash Sting so the title was vacated and we got a tournament. That’s Russo for you. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the final four in the tournament: Hart, Benoit, Sting and Jarrett.

 

Oh and this show is named after a video game, not vice versa.

 

We have a double main event: the tournament final and Sid vs. Goldberg in an I Quit match.

 

The fans want Flair as Tony and Bobby run down the card. Why we need to hear this is beyond me but I guess it makes sense to the bosses.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Jarrett takes him down to start and slaps him in the back of the head which ends badly for him. Benoit busts out a tornado DDT for two. Neckbreaker gets the same as Benoit is trying for as many pins as he can get. Superplex hits for two as well. This is all within the first 90 seconds. I’m not skipping a bunch of stuff. Out to the floor and Benoit chops away. A chop misses and Jarrett crotches Benoit against the post to finally slow him down.

 

Back inside and a powerslam gets two for Jeff. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence. This is faster and more crisp than anything I can remember in WCW in years. Jeff grabs a sleeper and Benoit is in trouble. He escapes but Jeff gets it again. This time Benoit hits a jawbreaker and both guys are down. The Canadian hits some Germans on the American and here comes Creative Control (Harris Brothers as the muscle of the Powers That Be).

 

Benoit is sent to the floor but Jeff doesn’t want the win by countout. That’s strangely galant of him. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Benoit and when he sits on a Jarrett sunset flip he gets the same result. Belly to back sets up the swan dive but Creative Control pulls Benoit out. The other member beats Benoit down to huge boos. There’s the Stroke but Dustin Rhodes comes out to break up the pin and beats up Creative Control. There’s the guitar but Benoit gets it and clocks Jarrett (totally against his character) to go to the finals.

 

Rating: B-. This was on the path to being a great match but then it’s Russo booking a big time match and therefore we must have three run-ins and a weapon shot. When have you ever seen a face Benoit use a weapon? The opening part of this was GREAT though and if they had kept that up for the entire match it would have been an easy A.

 

JJ and CC beat down Benoit post match to MONSTER heat.

 

Disco says he respects his Cruiserweight Title and the $25,000 he can win doesn’t mean as much as the belt. Jarrett and Creative Control pop up to beat him down too.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagis vs. Disco Inferno

 

Title vs. money here. Wait both guys have put up money meaning Evan can win the title and money while Disco can only win the money. That’s not exactly fair. Evan also has Madusa with him. Disco has some issues getting to the ring due to the beating. Tony Marinara (Tony Mamaluke from ECW) is with him as his inspiration/lackey. Evan jumps him in the aisle and we start up in the aisle for a bit.

 

Marinara sits in on commentary. He’s very annoying so far and is talking about how Disco owes him money or something which would go on for about a year and never went anywhere. It did bring in the Mamalukes though. Disco fires away with some kicks in the corner that are so hard Evan is falling down before they hit. The champ hits a pair of suplexes and dances.

 

Evan gets two off a crucifix but is taken down by a clothesline. This is a pretty bland match so far. Marinara is getting more annoying with every word he says. A middle rope elbow gets two for Disco. Madusa picks up Evan on the floor and the power of looks is enough to inspire him to dropkick Disco as he jumps off the apron at him.

 

Powerslam gets two for Karagis. The announcers debate what the belt is worth with the value stretching from $150 to 50 grand. There’s a LOUD boring chant as Disco hits a DDT. Marinara gets up to hit on Madusa and the distraction causes Disco to grab a chair and put it upside Tony’s head. A springboard cross body gives Karagis the title which he would lose to Madusa.

 

Rating: D. This was a terribly dull match with neither guy being interesting at all. They just kind of did moves to each other for 8 minutes. I don’t think anyone knew who Marinara was and I don’t think anyone really cared. Disco was best served as a comedy act but instead they made him a champion because the other Cruiserweights actually had something to do. Bad match.

 

Bret is just getting here.

 

The Powers That Be (Russo with his face not being seen), yells at Jarrett and says he has to fix it tonight. Jeff says he’ll do it.

 

Norman Smiley says he’s ready to become Hardcore Champion and is scared by construction going on.

 

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

 

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

 

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

 

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

 

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

 

Post match Jimmy is thrown into some hamburger buns.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals. It’s your usual stable gang warfare. There was a pole match involving getting Torrie out of a cage. There was a moment where Rey (Animals) was hung by the leg from the top of a cage and they destroyed his knee so he’s not in this.

 

The Revolution talks about what if’s and Saturn goes into a rant about dinosaurs.

 

The Animals say they’ll win and they’re not worried.

 

Disco talks to Tony Marinara and Tony says he’s going to get his boys.

 

Jarrett has what looks to be a 2×4 and is going to look for someone.

 

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

 

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

 

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

 

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

 

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

 

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

 

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

 

Jeff and Creative Control are beating up Buff Bagwell now.

 

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

 

This is a career vs. career match and the video package during Curt’s entrance doesn’t really do much of a good job of explaining why that’s the stipulation. There’s no Bagwell due to the beating so here are Jarrett and CC. Hennig tries to fight them off but he’s outnumbered. Here’s Bagwell who is fine and has a 2×4. He runs off the heels who have been in about 5 scenes tonight and the match begins.

 

Hennig controls early and we head to the floor with Bagwell going into the railing a few times. As they’re getting back in though Hennig is shoved off the apron and into the railing himself. And he still managed to do it perfectly. This is far closer to a brawl than a match which is Russo 101. Hennig is a lot more popular because he’s talented and old school while Bagwell is more or less a douche.

 

Off to a sleeper (popular move tonight) by Hennig which goes on for a long time. Buff fires off some punches and dances a lot but the fans do not care at all. Why would you think that in an old WWF town in a country that takes wrestling seriously that fans would want to see that dancing stuff? Not that it matters as Hennig controls 80% of the match but walks into a Blockbuster that is as out of nowhere as it sounds to make Hennig “retire”.

 

Rating: D. What a boring match this was. The fans were all over Bagwell who was the face in this I think and they gave Hennig a standing ovation after the loss. The match was awful, primarily because Bagwell wasn’t any good at making people care or being able to have an interesting match. He had a good finisher and a good body and that’s it. Hennig would unretire the next night and had his next televised match in 8 days.

 

Sting, the heel in his match against Bret, says he should be champion because he never lost the title. It’s Showtime.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Sting

 

Sting is in a t-shirt and tights and has big hair. Feeling out process to start and they stare each other down a lot. Bret slugs away and the fans pop HARD. They brawl to the floor because Bret Hart is incapable of having a wrestling match in a ring right? Sting wrestles like a heel, raking Bret’s eyes to break his momentum. This is a very interesting thing to see as Sting is wrestling as a heel in front of a crowd that believes him to be a heel. This has happened all of maybe twice ever.

 

Bret gets in a single shot to take over and the crowd explodes. Sting kicks him in the little maple leafs and actually hits the big elbow for two. They go to the floor again and Bret is sent into the announce table. The Stinger Splash onto the table misses and we head back inside. The referee goes down and here’s Lex with a ball bat to beat up Sting. Bret beats up Luger and puts him in the Sharpshooter which somehow gives Bret a DQ win. Bret doesn’t want it that way but he’s stuck with it.

 

Scratch that he’s not stuck with it as Bret demands we keep going so we keep going. Bret goes off on Sting with the original Five Moves of Doom including the Canadian hitting a Russian on the American. The elbow is blocked by a boot to the chin and Sting limps into the Scorpion which he has some torque on for once. Bret counters that into the Sharpshooter and Bret is in the Finals.

 

Rating: D+. This match right here sums up Vince Russo’s issues in a nutshell. Sting was past his prime at this point and Bret wasn’t great but he still could have a decent match in the ten minutes they had here. Did we need the run-in and the ball bat? No, we didn’t. The ending they did here could have worked fine and would have made a good ending kind of like his Summerslam 91 match. However, Vince Russo says no that’s not a good idea and we need to have people running in and weapon shots because I guess the fans can’t enjoy wrestling. That’s Russo in a nutshell: he had no faith in actual wrestling.

 

Sting calls Bret back in for a handshake post match.

 

Benoit says it’s an honor to wrestle Bret again here and he’ll test the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be moniker.

 

Luger is already in a neck brace and says it’ll be a permanent thing. He can’t wrestle tonight either so he’ll pay the fans something for an apology. The details aren’t really clear.

 

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

 

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

 

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

 

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

 

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

 

Steve Williams comes in and beats down both guys post match. So THAT was the point of it.

 

Scott Hall (POP) talks about Rick Steiner not being here for the title vs. title match. Hall is the new TV Champion because Steiner can’t defend it. He was already the US Champion. Hall issues an open challenge for later.

 

Hennnig is leaving and is congratulated by some guys as he leaves.

 

Kimberly is here, an hour and thirty five minutes into the show.

 

Meng vs. Total Package

 

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

 

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

 

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

 

Bret says he’ll win and Luger walks behind him ranting about his loss. Bret doesn’t stop talking.

 

David Flair is “polishing his crowbar” for his time where he’ll try to hold Kimberly down against her will later or make her scream about how she can’t take it anymore.

 

US Title/TV Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

 

Booker T accepts the challenge. Hall is so over it’s incredible. Since it was more newsworthy when he was sober than the other way around though, that would never result in a world title run. He says Nash is coming and they’re going to have a party later. Hall rams his shoulders into Booker for that signature spot of his. Booker fires off a hook kick and is booed during the cover.

 

Side slam gets two. Hall gets knocked to the floor but comes back with a chokeslam for two. Much like any other match with it being thrown together on the fly like this, there’s not much to it because there’s no story or hatred to it. Fallaway slam puts Booker down and we go to the floor again. Off to a sleeper as the fans are looking at something to the right of the ring. Here are Jarrett and Creative Control AGAIN. They go after Booker, he fights them off, Booker gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge and Hall retains.

 

Rating: D+. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT??? In this case I’m talking about the run-in. This is what, the third match they’ve been involved with? We get it: he’s trying to disrupt things. Can we please have a match that ends cleanly? Is it that much to ask? Oh wait Russo is running things SO OF COURSE IT IS. This gets really frustrating after awhile.

 

Midnight, the black Chyna ripoff, makes the save for the post match beatdown.

 

Lex can’t find Liz.

 

We recap Kimberly vs. David Flair. She wanted to sleep with David Flair but got Ric instead. David went insane because of it and wanted to beat her for some reason. I still don’t get the point of this.

 

Kimberly vs. David Flair

 

Let’s get this over with. She does look good at least. Kimberly stretches a lot to try to distract David. Within thirty seconds, Flair is kicked low (no effect) and the referee is shoved. David gets the crowbar and she gets on her knees in front of him. Crowd: “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT!” She reaches for his crotch and pulls his cup out so she can kick him in the balls. The fans are dead.

 

David picks up the crowbar but Kanyon comes out to beat him up. Now here’s DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter on David. His ribs are killing him though. DDP gets the crowbar but Arn Anderson comes out and takes the bar away from him. David hits Arn with the crowbar and leaves, I guess ending this.

 

Rating: N/A. Get me a wrestling match and I’ll rate it. Kimberly looked great.

 

Arn is taken out on a stretcher to fill in some time.

 

We recap Sid vs. Goldberg which is part of Sid’s Millennium Man deal where he was going to break Goldberg’s record for a win streak which turned into a comedy deal where chokeslamming people counted as wins and all that jazz. They kept having big brawls and the Streak might have been broken. It’s not mentioned but who cares about stuff like that I suppose.

 

Sid says he’ll never say I Quit. It’s an I Quit match if that wasn’t mentioned.

 

Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

 

Sid jumps him during the entrance and the piped in chants begin. You can tell as no one is moving yet everyone is chanting. Sid is knocked to the floor and they slug it out again. Sid is WAY over and there’s a cobra clutch slam to Goldberg. Another cobra clutch slam sets up a chokeslam and make that a pair of them. Goldberg counters a choke into a cross armbreaker and is booed out of the building. Back to the arm and Goldberg isn’t sure what to do. Off to something resembling a cobra clutch and Sid is out cold in maybe 20 seconds to end it minus saying I Quit.

 

Rating: F. Well let’s see. In an I Quit match between two monsters, it was a standard Goldberg match with a sloppy looking hold to end it. What was the point of this? I know I’ve asked that a lot tonight but that’s what I leave most of these matches asking: what did that happen for? Nothing match and it does little for either guy.

 

Lex blames Liz for the loss and threatens her despite not being able to find her.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

 

Long feeling out process that leads to Bret hooking an armbar. The fans are for Bret but they’re not against Benoit if that makes sense. Benoit tries a comeback with various strikes but a sunset flip is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit avoids that into a Crossface attempt but Bret grabs the rope. They’re still cool though and have a handshake.

 

Bret throws him to the floor and a fan jumps out of the crowd in a hockey jersey and face paint to beat up Benoit. It’s Malenko so Bret beats up him and mark run-in #1 since Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit in Canada with over 15 minutes isn’t enough to have a good match right? Benoit fights back with more basic stuff like a backdrop. Bret might have bad ribs so Benoit starts firing off the suplexes.

 

A tombstone looks to set up the swan dive which hits but here’s Scott Hall to take out the referee. Nash is here too with a chair but here’s Goldberg to fight them off. Hall and Hart fight up the aisle as Benoit is down. The Outsiders leave and we have a second referee. Goldberg jumps the Outsiders and beats them to the back as Benoit starts in on Bret’s knee. Since the world title match isn’t important enough we go split screen to see the Outsiders get pulled off Goldberg.

 

Ok NOW we can get into the title match, 12 minutes into it. Benoit hooks on the figure four and Bret’s knee has been worked over. Bret grabs the rope and goes to a comeback, hitting a backbreaker for two. A top rope superplex hits and both guys are down. Benoit’s back is getting messed up quickly here which means it’s Sharpshooter time soon. Benoit falls on top of Bret in a slam for two and goes to the outside to try to clear his head. He counters a suplex back in and hits the Rolling Germans. He goes for the Crossface but Bret rolls out. Bret grabs the legs into the Sharpshooter and Bret wins the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match but the run-ins crippled it just like the rest of the matches tonight. I mean seriously, you have two of the best ever out of Canada and this is what you decide to do to them? The match was kind of a mess on top of that as different parts were worked on until the ending where Bret picked the back which made sense. It’s a good match but it was running with an anchor.

 

Tony calls this “just another chapter in Bret’s career.” Nice way to sell this as a huge moment.

 

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what they were going for here. The CONSTANT run-ins aren’t redeemed by a long and fairly good main event. How many times have you heard that about Impact in the past say two years? Two matches, as in the main event and the elimination tag are over ten minutes long. The idea is to have short matches on TV to set up the long ones on PPV. Russo never quite gets that, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t get. Nothing to see here for the most part.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Fall Brawl 2000
Date: September 17, 2000
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,638
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

Well we have I think five or six PPVs to go in this company so this isn’t something where I would expect much. The main event is Booker vs. Nash in a cage as they’ve given up on the idea of War Games I guess. Other than that there’s a huge elimination match and Steiner vs. Goldberg, which hopefully has less shooting in it this time. Maybe we can shoot Russo. Let’s get to it.

Cruiserweight Title: Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Skipper was given the title by Storm and is a Deion Sanders ripoff that I always loved. Kwee Wee makes Rico look straight. Kwee Wee has Paisley with him, more commonly known as Sharmell, Booker’s wife. Kwee Wee had a weird double personality thing where he would go insane at times which is how he starts the match here. We go a nice wrestling sequence to start. Skipper is fun to watch and I’ve always liked him.

They botch a leapfrog and Skipper might be hurt. Hudson makes a reference to some guy named Johnny Walker from the 60s. Only Walker I know of is a whiskey but whatever. We have a WAY too long chinlock by Skipper as this is such a shell of what the Cruiserweight Title used to be. Prime Time (Skipper) does what Trish would steal and call the Matrish.

This is more like a match between two small guys than two cruiserweights. Crowd is kind of dead here but is behind the face so that’s a good sign I guess. The Natural Born Thrillers come out and I begin to smile. The Thrillers were a group of young guys that were something NEW and got pushed. Sure they were generic as all goodness but they were a freaking breath of air. There were like seven of them, led by Mike Sanders. They included Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, Shawn Stasiak, Sean O’Haire, Reno and Johnny the Bull. These guys were pretty generic, but DANG it was nice to see some fresh faces.

They don’t actually do anything as Kwee Wee comes back and beats the tar out of Skipper to no reaction at all. Skipper hits the floor and Mike Sanders comes in with a kendo stick (a stickball bat or some kind of device according to Tony) and bashes him in the knee for two. The Thrillers are gone but now it means nothing as we’re pretty even anyway. Overdrive (MVP’s Play of the Day) ends it.

Rating: D+. This was just not clicking at all. The match was dull but hey, it had a run in so it has to be interesting right? This just was nothing special at all as they just did a mat based match and then a screwjob ending. I’m not entirely sure what the point was here as the styles clash killed it. Not a good way to start but not a horrible match.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

The Misfits here are Sgt. AWOL (The Wall who most of you likely don’t remember) Lieutenant Loco (Chavo) and Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux). The band has a new song here that likely could have been a decent hit if sung by a “legit” band, which is either great or scary. The idea of the Misfits was that they were guys that were thrown out of storylines by Russo so they banded together as their only way to have a chance. That works well enough.

And yes, 3 Count gets a match against someone not named the Jung Dragons. Two of the boy band members are Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. The third sucks. We hear about Duggan giving the flag and board to General Rection (Hugh Morrus) and will be in his corner tonight. Yeah I’m sure this isn’t going to go badly at all for Rection.

This is a pretty basic match but it’s not bad. They’re just kind of filling in time as these matches aren’t going to mean anything past tonight anyway. The idea here is that the band is scared to death of AWOL so they’re going to try to keep him out. Simple story but it works. Leroux was a lot better than he was given credit for. I might even stretch to say he was pretty good.

He hits a springboard X Factor to get the hot tag to AWOL who cleans house. Moore hits a nice flip to put Cajun down and we let the high spots loose. AWOL gets knocked through a table (his signature thing) but not before holding Moore up off the ground purely by his hair. Everything goes insane and Leroux hits Helms with what we would more or less call Cradle Shock for the pin. They get a standing ovation for it and that’s what they deserved.

Rating: B. I REALLY liked this. There was no interference, there was nothing completely insane, the effort was there and the wrestling was there. What a shock that when you put all this together, you get a good match. Worst thing is I can more or less guarantee this is the high point of the show.

The old guys won’t give a kid an autograph. That’s WCW for you. Madden gets a line in about Nash carrying people. I laugh sadly…..point to this?

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

And there goes the quality of the show. This is first a chain match, as in they’re attached by a strap. The twins (Harris Brothers/Disciples of Apocolypse/Creative Control/Blu Brothers etc) cost Kronik the belts last month. Adams makes it a first blood match, because gimmicks added on for no apparent reason other than to keep an old guy from having to get pinned and therefore lose credibility TOTALLY RULE!

Dave Penzer, the announcer, gets knocked out like a minute in. We go out into the crowd and this is already a mess. As I’m typing this I can see the review of the previous match and it makes me sad. That and even the previous match were good. This is just annoying and is going to mean nothing at all in the end. Hudson talks about how brutal this is and how it’s going to be violent. We’re less than three minutes in and he’s right: it’s brutal.

One of the Harris guys works on Clark’s knee in a first blood match for reasons of general idiocy. We get choking, which even Tony calls out as stupid. And we have a ref bump in a gimmick match. One of the Harrises is bleeding but there’s no referee of course. The chain is undone and Hudson suggests he’s on his period instead of being busted open. END THIS. Yeah the blood is wiped off and Adams is bleeding when the referee gets back up so Kronik loses. Kronik beats up the referee to be faces.

Rating: F+. Well seven minutes have passed and nothing of note has changed. These two feuded forever and no one cared at all. We went from good stuff to this, which like I said shouldn’t surprise anyone. Get to the next thing.

General Rection tries to do a big patriotic promo which would work a lot better if he wasn’t destined to have Jim Duggan turn on him since he’s the special enforcer.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm cuts a great heel promo about how great Canada is. He was AWESOME at this point and more or less could do no wrong on the mic. He would just get out there and be this pompous jerk but was so proud of being Canadian and no one could beat him, making him awesome. And here’s Duggan to be all patriotic. Great to see that white shirt under his referee shirt. I’m sure that will mean nothing at all.

Rection dominates to start and Storm is in trouble. Also Major Gunns has been kidnapped by Team Canada so she’s freed if Rection wins here. They say that the General could be a superstar. That’s just amusing. He’s more commonly known as Bill DeMott if the comedy name isn’t familiar to you. Storm hits a superkick that was on target but didn’t look painful at all.

Rection hits a sitout gutwrench powerbomb (spellcheck hates that sentence) for no cover. Storm gets up and goes after the knee. Duggan throws Storm back into the ring and gets up on the apron while the General goes for the moonsault. And say it with me: Duggan is Canadian. Storm gets the win while Rection is out cold in the Mapleleaf. MIA runs out and Duggan beats them down.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible, but the turn might as well have had a big sign over it saying HEEL TURN COMING. Rection would wind up winning the title at the next two PPVs while no one cared about it nor were they watching. This didn’t go anywhere though and it’s only because of Storm’s pure awesomeness at this point that it gets this much. That and Gunns in those shorts. I mean DANG.

Gene (wearing glasses now) talks to the Natural Born Thrillers. Sanders imitates Konnan so Gene calls them various bad names and tells them to blow it. Sanders was very good on the mic.

Filthy Animals/Big Vito/Paul Orndorff vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Filthy Animals: Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Disco Inferno, Juventud Guerrera, Tygress (female manager)

Natural Born Thrillers: Mark Jindrak, Sean O’Haire, Mike Sanders, Chuck Palumbo, Shawn Stasiak, Reno, Johnny the Bull

This is elimination style. Yes it’s that Paul Orndorff. He trained most of the Thrillers in the Power Plant (the same place that said one Dave Bautista had no future in wrestling) and he drew about 15 years ago so he’s PERFECT here. Orndorff is a mystery partner here. He SHOCKS the Thrillers. OH NO! IT’S ON OVER THE HILL OVERRATED GUY THAT HASN’T MEANT A FREAKING THING SINCE WE WERE IN 5TH GRADE! Wait….this is WCW and he’s over fifty…..WE’RE SCREWED!!!

Stasiak goes on commentary for no apparent reason. Konnan makes gay jokes and introduced Orndorff. Wow this is so completely overhyped. No one cheers either. They just kind of breathe. Also, we get to see a 51 year old man that looks about twice that old in lime green tights. Rock on brother man.

This was billed as 6-6 but there are so many people that a lot have to drop to the floor, making it look like 4-4. Rey and Juvy are tag champions as I try to fill space. Ok apparently they aren’t….they just have the belts for the second straight PPV in a row. Rey tags in Juvy to absolutely NO reaction. I wasn’t looking at the screen and didn’t even notice it. Normally you get a sound from the crowd to let you know that something happened but there was NOTHING here.

O’Haire hits a Falcon’s Arrow to take down Juvy who of course is fine like 4 seconds later. Vito, the big guy on the team I guess, beats up Jindrak and is only there for Johnny. And here’s Disco to again complete silence. Oh never mind they think that he, a face, sucks. Jimdrak, a guy about 6’5, can’t get a dropkick past the ribs of Disco who is about 6’0. Ok Konnan is in the match despite sitting on the floor so far.

Konnan crashes into Disco so Disco accidentally hits him with the Last Dance (Stunner) to eliminate him. Shawn says five to go, implying 6-6 to start. Disco can’t get anyone to tag him in so Vito punches him and Reno Rolls the Dice to end him and make it 6-4 I guess. Vito hits an Edgecution on Palumbo for two. Bull hits Vito in the head with a kendo stick and a Roll of the Dice (rolling cutter, Cross Roads) ends him.

That leaves it as Juvy, Rey and Orndorff left, so Madden suggests that Tygress is on the team too. So then Tony says it’s 6-2 as Orndorff is there for…..oh screw it let’s just get this over with. Guerrera hits a flying…..something to Reno. Tony calls it a body attack which sounds like something from Mortal Kombat. Juvy Driver and WHAT’S UP on Reno makes it however many vs. however many. Oh and over ten minutes in and I think there are 4 people that haven’t even been in yet.

Rey and Juy apparently ARE the tag champions here. Tony said they weren’t 8 minutes ago and now they are. My goodness I know WCW at this time is called insane but I’ve always thought it was overhyped. In this match alone, about ten minutes long at this point, we can’t establish how many original participants there were in this match, we’ve gotten three different answers as to how many people are left on one of the teams at this point, and we don’t even know if two guys are tag team champions? Ok according to Wikipedia they are the champions but are forced to forfeit them tomorrow for no given reason. Now why can I establish that and the paid announcers can’t?

The fans hate Tygress all of a sudden as Juvy’s plancha is just caught. And then HOKEY SMOKE O’Haire and Jindrak LAUNCH Juvy from the floor into the ring off a double hip toss. That looked incredible. A Swanton Bomb ends Juvy…..and here’s Orndorff. Of course he beats up all the young guys but a kendo stick takes care of him. He hits a bad piledriver to get rid of Johnny the Bull.

Rey and Tygress (now on the apron) just let Orndorff get double teamed and do all the work. Sanders hasn’t been in yet. He of course beats up Jindrak and O’Haire on his own, making them look completely weak in the process. He goes to piledrive Jindrak and of course gets hurt coming down, giving himself a stinger (same thing that happened to Austin in 97 off the Owen piledriver) and O’Haire quickly covers him for the pin because of the injury.

Rey and Tygress I guess don’t get that he’s really hurt and keep going on Jindrak. After a pair of Bronco Busters we get the idea so they beat up Sanders and Palumbo to keep the crowd into it I guess. Pay no attention to the fact that they’re landing around Paul’s legs or anything like that. And they stop the match because of the injury. They would conclude it the next night where Rey and Tygress would beat five guys on their own.

Rating: F. There should be two ratings here. The match itself was entertaining and was about a B/B-, but to let a guy in there that was 51 years old and had retired because of a neck injury and then, shocking no one with a brain, hurts his neck in his first match back in like 5 years is simply irresponsible. I don’t care if he swears up and down that he’ll be ok or whatever. You don’t let him into the ring with his neck hurt like that, and this is why.

He wasn’t even taking a bump and he got hurt. Imagine what would have happened if he had been taking am ove and got hurt like this. There is just no way you can validate letting Orndorff go out there. It didn’t sell any more shows because he wasn’t even announced, so this comes off as just irresponsible by WCW and there’s no way that is ok in my mind.

Kidman and Madusa talk about their scaffold match. Yeah this is a perfect place to go after what just happened, but at the same time that wasn’t planned. Madusa threatens to demoralize her. What the heck does that even mean?

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa/Billy Kidman

The scaffold is over the stage here which I’m sure is completely safe. Also instead of putting them on the scaffold which starts on the ground and is raised up, they have to climb and waste more time. Douglas promises to pay everyone’s money back if the faces don’t get thrown. This is a Pittsburgh PLUNGE match, but apparently you win by crossing and climbing down. Sure why not. Kidman and Madusa don’t get entrances and just walk out and get on.

Tony tells Madden to get his jokes in so Tony can sell the match. Egads man. Tony insists it’s still going up when you can tell it’s perfectly still. The scaffold here is at least fairly wide to the point where they can walk side by side on it. That’s a LOT better than previous kinds. You know it’s a good thing we have those VIDEO screens to show the Fall Brawl logo so we know what show this MATCH is on.

The girls sprint off to get down the other side and are all alone so they just stand there. Kidman and Shane have a match up there with counters and a Sky High powerbomb and then the Franchiser (modified Stunner) on Kidman. And then Shane kicks Madusa down the ladder so that she crashes down. Now since she didn’t climb down, she doesn’t win. Oh give me a break.

Shane beats up Kidman and has him down so Torrie comes back over and waits for him to make his comeback and then hits him low so Shane can throw Kidman off the scaffold and onto the crash pad below. Once someone reminds them which way to go, the heels win. Yep, Shane Douglas is pushed over Kidman. Do I even need to explain why this was bad?

Rating: F+. How do you really grade one of these? It was maybe five minutes long and went nowhere. Shane made Kidman look freaking pathetic here and that doesn’t surprise me at all. Shane was in the downside of his career and Kidman was a guy with potential. Of course he lost. Whatever, and at least Torrie looked incredible.

Sting talks about his three way with Muta and Vampiro. Oh and he has a world title match tomorrow night. Jeff Jarrett jumps him for no apparent reason.

Mike Tenay goes to David Flair’s house to talk to him about the wedding that didn’t work. He was supposed to marry Stacy since she was pregnant and it turned out the baby wasn’t his. We never found out who it was but it allegedly was going to be Ric Flair and would wind up being some kind of incest angle, or Russo because clearly a 20 year old Stacy would screw him.

David is losing his mind and his place is covered in trash and pizza boxes so he lights up a cigarette but throws it away because it’ll kill him. David goes paranoid and thinks that his brother Reed, who is 11, is the dad. He goes to the window a bunch of times where he says the father is here. And then he doesn’t do anything about it.

I didn’t order this PPV and I think this aired on TV later because I’ve seen this before. David sprints to the door and says the father is here so he runs outside and beats up the mailman, putting him in the figure four on the front lawn. There also was a camera waiting on the camera guy as he was I guess coming across the street. What a coincidence eh?

Sting vs. Great Muta vs. Vampiro

ICP is with the heels here who come out together. The clowns are on commentary here. They talk about JCW and I get it now. Maybe I did get this PPV but I could have sworn they did commentary on Thunder too. The commentary is funny to a degree but it gets old fast. They beat on Sting for awhile but they fight after Muta goes for a pin and Vampiro doesn’t like it. This is definitely a different match than the one I remember. Sting gets a bat and hits the Death Drop on Muta for the pin. There was nothing else of note to talk about here. The clowns and Vampiro beat up Muta and Sting makes the save.

Rating: D-. At least it was short I guess and the commentary made me laugh once or twice. This feud was just never going to stop and no one at all cared about it. Granted that might be because of Vampiro and the fact that no one knew who Muta was because WCW never told us that but whatever.

Mike Awesome, in 70s clothes and a Partridge Family bus, shows up with a surprise: it’s Gary Coleman. Sadly he gets one of the biggest pops of the night. They do a terrible comedy bit with Pamela Paulshock who was drop dead gorgeous.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mike Awesome

This is a bunkhouse brawl, meaning hardcore match. There are Buffalo Bills at ringside and Jarrett wears a Titans jersey to be a jerk. He makes bad football jokes and this goes dead fast. There are weapons in the ring and Awesome brings his own table. The announcers say that Jarrett is the favorite in this match. We have ropes and wheelbarrows here as you can hear Dusty jacking off to this.

There are nooses around the ropes and a table covered in barbed wire. This is Jarrett’s specialty match in case you didn’t know. Why is it his specialty match? Well no one knows but whatever. It starts out as just a weapons match with nothing at all special about it. Jarrett backdrops Awesome from the middle rope through a table just to be mean. Jarrett goes into the barbed wire table twice and then a sitout powerbomb gets two.

After the Awesome Splash misses, Jarrett yells at the Bills some more. And here they come, surrounding the ring while security does nothing at all. They shove him into Awesome and the powerbomb gets….two. I know the ending to this match and I thought the match was ending there. Not because it was a close pin or anything but because there was no reason at all for it to continue other than the inevitable Gary Coleman stuff that you know is coming.

And here he is. The Bills let Jarrett get a guitar and Coleman just walks into the ring and low blows Jarrett who them just kills him with the guitar. NOW FREAKING STING IS HERE to beat up Jarrett so that Awesome can FINALLY win. So let’s see: Mike Awesome, Gary Coleman, Sting and THE BUFFALO BILLS ended this. How much do you think all this cost?

Rating: D. I almost hat to type Gary Coleman sold the guitar shot. Did someone think this was going to help business somehow? Did someone think this was going to be funny? I mean eas there a point to this at all? If there was I don’t get it. The hardcore stuff was ok here though, but the match was just WAY too much to be good.

Scott Steiner says he’ll beat Goldberg here because he has big muscles.

Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

This is just a grudge match and I guess Goldberg is a face here. No DQ here either. Steiner has to wear a mask because Goldberg broke his face or something. We’re told about how even these two are which is odd but makes sense at the same time. Scotty busts out a Diamond Cutter for two. Ok then. Steiner tries to hide and that doesn’t go well at all for him.

They’re doing the clash of the titans build here and for the most part it’s working. And here’s Midajah, which is supposed to be a big deal I guess. Goldberg is bleeding from some chair shots. She’s just standing there for no apparent reason. Oh ok Goldberg accidentally put her through a table. Steiner hits a belly to belly where Goldberg lands on his head and nearly breaks his neck. There’s the spear. We have a lead pipe in there too which I’m sure will have something to do with the ending.

And it’s Vince Russo to bash Goldberg with a baseball bat. Sure why not. It only gets two though and Bill goes through a table. Steiner Recliner, which looks awful since Steiner doesn’t know how to hook it right, doesn’t work as Goldberg picks him up. This is the match where they just hammer each other with no real rhyme or reason. That doesn’t mean it’s bad though as that’s what this is supposed to be. Think Awesome vs. Tanaka.

Back to the Recliner which would look a lot better if it wasn’t just Goldberg crawling on his hands and knees (yeah the arms aren’t even pulled back) to the ropes. A chair is brought in and nothing happens with it. Russo comes in AGAIN but Steiner pops Goldberg in the head with a lead pipe and the Recliner gets the win on the unconscious Goldberg. Oh and Russo does the Jericho cover on him to end it. The Bills come in again to help Goldberg. More on Russo in the overall rating.

Rating: B-. This was about being a big old fight and that’s all it was supposed to be. We didn’t need to have real wrestling here and they didn’t try. I could have done without Russo here but at the same time this match oddly worked. This was probably a #1 contenders match of some sort too.

Booker says he’ll get the title back. Nash booked himself to win the title for about three weeks so he could defend coming into this.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Kevin Nash

Dang there are some attractive women in Buffalo. This is a cage match. We get a Scott Hall reference, even though Hall was long since gone at this point. No waiting at all as we’re starting to run out of PPV time. The cage looks extra tall here which is allegedly 12 feet high which is believable here. The camera is weird here as it’s outside and we keep looking up at the guys.

We’re told that Orndorff had a stinger but is talking and has movement in all of his limbs. That’s always good to hear. Nash is actually moving a bit in there. He takes the buckle pad off as Tony, much like Billy Graham did 12 years ago, asks why you need to do that when you have a cage around you. Axe Kick puts Nash down as apparently him slamming Nash is a big deal.

They’re flying through this match with no transitional stuff at all. Nash is bleeding here. RONCO REFERENCE! Yeah that has nothing to do with wrestling but I have a thing for infomercials so there we go. We’re told Nash has a lot of heart. Uh…sure. Jackknife is blocked into the Book End for the title for Booker.

Rating: C-. This FLEW by and felt like a Nitro main event rather than a PPV main event. Goldberg vs. Steiner likely should have closed the show but I can get that they wanted to make the world title seem important. This wasn’t anything all that great at all but for once one champion lost the title to another guy clean and simple. What more can you ask for? Booker would hold the title for 8 days, so it’s not like this meant much in the long run.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a rather good show. The problem is this is pretty much the best show for WCW in their last 15 months or so. The elimination match would have been a lot better had it not been for the injury and while I still wouldn’t have liked Orndorff getting in there even if he hadn’t gotten hurt, the injury is what made that match fall apart so you can’t blame the wrestlers for it.

The scaffold match was really short so that didn’t hurt things too much. This isn’t a classic or anything but it’s definitely watchable as they toned down the insanity a lot and the show is completely coherent with nothing overly bad that goes more than say five minutes.

The most important thing here is simple: there’s a point to everything on the card. Nothing here is insane or just thrown on there, which is the point of a PPV. If you want a taste of what WCW could do around this time, this is your best chance. And then it means nothing at all as Vince Russo would win the world title 8 days later on Nitro, killing anything the company had left for it.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Spring Stampede 1994
Date: April 17, 1994
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 12,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Again, just trying to complete 1994. This is about one thing: Flair vs. Steamboat. One day I’ll get to their epic three match series and explain why they’re so freaking awesome. Anyway, Flair kept the belt at SuperBrawl and this is the match he gets as a result.  Other than that it’s exactly what you would expect from this era: bad feuds that no one cared at all about. Hogan would show up in three months and change everything. After that you would have old guys with less talent having bad feuds that no one cared about. Let’s get to it.

The intro tries to make this into a Western theme and no one cares. Oh dang this is the street fight match that I completely forgot about. That match is greatness wrapped up in a nice bread with sweetness sauce on it. Now I’m excited.

Aaron Neville, an R&B singer does the National Anthem. I’ve at least heard of him.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

He’s a sheriff in red tonight. Yep he looks like an idiot but he’s opening ANOTHER PPV. Is this a sick joke or something? The line of HE’S SO BAD always makes me laugh as I guarantee it’s not meant to sound the way I’m thinking about it. Page is still completely worthless here but whatever. Kimberly always looked great though. Page has money now and is rich so he gives Heenan a thing with his initials in diamonds on it so now he’s loved.

Page is in an armbar and needs to have his mouth washed out with soap apparently. Heenan and Tony get into a stupid argument about stomachs as you can tell they’re not that interested in this either. These two would feud for what felt like ever and it just never would end. This hasn’t been bad but it certainly hasn’t been that good either. Badd more or less botches a headscissors and then dives over the top to make up for it. The top rope sunset flip ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great. The fans were into Badd so that’s a fine choice for the opener. This was a pair that kept going at it for months and before Page finally lost the final match, Badd went to WWF and got laughed at on WCW TV.

Gene and Ventura talk about a few matches.

TV Title: Brian Pillman vs. Steven Regal

Pillman is a face now having split from Austin a little while ago. I can’t get over that that is Bill Dundee with Regal. They emphasize that this is a 15 minute match just to emphasize that this will end up in a draw. Pillman starts off fast to try to make this better. This should actually be an interesting match to be fair. We’re on the floor now and Pillman is freaking working the arm of Regal. It’s been all Pillman at this point.

Heenan’s mic messes up for a bit but is back now. Just as I’m about to say that Regal is in control again, Pillman gets a quick rollup for two. Regal is freaking SCARY good on the mat as we’re at five minutes. Regal is just stretching Pillman a million ways from Sunday. Why is it always Sunday? I’ve never gotten that one. For once the shot at the crowd makes sense here which is as rare as possible. Basically this is Regal just beating the living heck out of Pillman while Brian sells like a master.

We get down to five minutes to go and you can more or less call the rest of the match from that point on. Pillman busts out an enziguri of all things with about a minute to go. That came from nowhere. And the time runs out and the fans hate it. This was something they did a lot and the fans never liked it at all, much like I don’t here.

Rating: B-. This was Regal just putting on a freaking show out there and Pillman being the challenger of the week. Even still this was pretty good and it worked for what it was supposed to be. Regal was freaking amazing before he got so screwed up.

Sting says he’ll win.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne

This is a street fight with falls counting anywhere so call it a hardcore match. This match is more or less epic as they more or less kill each other for about 9 minutes. I’m fired up for this. They don’t even make it to the ring. Well at least Cactus and Brian don’t. How weird is it that Cactus was probably the more normal of those two men? Cactus hits Knobbs in the face with half of a pool cue which at least isn’t metal so it’s a bit more believable.

They have two referees here which is smart for a change. There’s nothing here but violence and they’re living it up out there with it. This is a freaking war with the cameras having issues keeping up with it. Now I know I have a reputation for hating these things, but a few things to keep in mind here. Number one, the stuff they’re using isn’t incredibly over the top. There are chairs, trash cans, a pool cue (a bit of a stretch but not really) and various things they find in the arena.

There aren’t scissors or screwdrivers etc. Second, this is the culmination of a big feud between these guys. Payne and Knobbs are fighting in a souvenir stand in case you were wondering. But yeah, this isn’t just a random brawl for the sake of having a random brawl. They had built this feud up for months but it kept ending in a DQ. The story makes sense to end like this.

Third, these guys can actually work decent matches without weapons. I’ve yet to see Sabu or New Jack do so. Finally, there aren’t any ridiculous spots here to suck the life out of it. There’s no scaffold or whatever. They’re beating the tar out of each other and you get the feeling that they want to kill each other. HOKEY SMOKE!

Foley was covering Jerry and Knobbs came from nowhere with a shovel (Jack’s trademark at the time so it makes sense) and just blasts the heck out of him with it. Sags takes the shovel and with Cactus on the ground, Sags crushes Cactus’ head with it kind of like a conchairto. Payne goes through a real table after it anyway, before it was a clichéd spot.

Rating: A-. This was freaking AWESOME. Like I said though, there were a lot of differences here that made the thing far better than your typical brawl. The main thing was the amount of brutal spots and the total lack of stopping. Watch this match as it’s just freaking awesome. This was brutal now but back then this was EPIC.

US Title: Great Muta vs. Steve Austin

Now here’s something you won’t see every day. It’s post 1989 so Muta is likely going to suck here. Austin is wearing black now and eve has a black vest on. He’s been talking more and even cursed a bit around this time. Keep in mind: HE WAS FIRED FOR HAVING NO POTENTIAL. We get the inevitable comparison of Sting and Muta which really was true. Also for you indy fans that think Danielson is so innovative: Muta was using the Cattle Mutilation when Danielson was about 7 years old.

Muta hooks an abdominal stretch which was one of his big moves actually. Austin was a rising star at this point and a win over Muta would be HUGE for him. It amazes me that Austin so much of a technical guy back in the day and how much of a different style he had in just three years. We get like our 5th mention of Aaron Neville. We get it the guy can sing.

Muta goes insane and scares Austin to death which is saying a lot. I’m in awe here as Austin is chain wrestling Muta to perfection. Make that 6 Neville references. DUDE, no one cares! Parker goes after Muta. That’s just freaking stupid. Muta is being dominated here which is awesome as it’s letting Austin look great.

After about five minutes of getting beaten down, he realizes he’s the Great Muta and this is 1994 and he’s wrestling Steve Austin so here’s the comeback…which lasts 8 seconds as Austin is dominating again. The crowd is ALL behind Muta mind you. Austin uses some messed up leg lock called the Hollywood and Vine. Oh dear. Muta wakes up and just goes insane to fire the crowd up.

The fans know their old school guys…and then they screw it all up by having Muta get disqualified for back dropping Austin over the ropes. I FREAKING HATE THAT RULE!!! The fans rightfully boo that out of the arena.

Rating: B. I freaking loved this thing. Muta made Austin look great here and for once was working himself to death out there at the end with the fans eating it up. Then WCW managed to screw up the entire match with that LAME ending. I hate WCW at times, I truly do.

Dustin says Texas > Tennessee.

WCW International Title: Sting vs. Rick Rude

Oh dear the International Title. This is the last remnant of the NWA. More or less the WCW Title and the NWA Title were the same thing as they were unified. Then in September of 1993 WCW left the NWA but due to a ridiculous legal battle, Ric Flair owned the big gold belt that the NWA had been using for about 7 years. Once they left, the NWA Title and the WCW Title were separate because the NWA sucked.

In other words, there were two titles. When the NWA was out of the picture, they just named it the WCW International Title. They unified them at a Clash of the Champions in like two months or so. Race comes down and says that Vader wants the winner of the match then tries to jump Sting which goes badly for him. This is one of Rude’s last matches actually as he would get injured in the rematch of this in Japan and never wrestle again.

They’re doing a mat based thing here which is odd but fine I guess. It’s weird to think that Rude would be gone so quickly from the ring. Rude hits his traditional chinlock because he’s required by law to do it or something like that. He gets a sleeper and has Sting more or less out and just lets go. Well no one ever said Rude was a genius or anything like that. Sting was so freaking over it’s scary.

He’s the Ultimate Warrior with talent and restraint. That’s a scary thought. Yep the referee goes down just as Sting gets the Scorpion. Race runs down to interfere again as does Vader. Bockwinkle, the commissioner, is at ringside during this. Race misses a chair shot and hits Rude for both the title change and the roof being blown off of the place. Sting was as over as free beer in a frat house here.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but the fans ate this up with a spoon. The big gold belt looks great on Sting too. These two had some good matches just like Warrior had with Rude but a bit better.

Steamboat says he’s ready.

Bunkhouse Buck vs. Dustin Rhodes

This is a bunkhouse match, meaning more or less it’s another street fight but with a Southern name. You’re supposed to wear street clothes to it or something. It was one of Dusty’s ideas so go with that. This is a very slow match and compared to what you had earlier, this isn’t nearly as impressive. There’s a piece of wood that they keep using which is annoying for some reason.

This is a bloodier fight and in some ways it’s better, but at the same time it’s far too slow to really be considered better than the first one tonight. After getting beaten on for a long time, Dustin makes his comeback. He was finally getting the hang of things around this time but it didn’t matter as Hogan came in and cleaned house.

He would be gone in about a year and be in WWF where he had by far the best run of his career. After the Colonel interferes, a shot with brass knuckles ends this with Buck getting the win. This was fun if nothing else.

Rating: B-. This was a fight but it was a different kind of fight. There was a lot of blood and by the end of it you could see that Dustin was very tired which was fine. If this was about 4 minutes shorter it was a lot better though.

The Boss vs. Vader

Rude is ticked that Vader and Race cost him the title. This was supposed to be Starrcade I think but obviously that never happened.Guess who the Boss is. Almost right off the bat, Vader takes a HARD whip into the railing. Like I’ve said before, Boss was perfect for this feud as he had the size and power to stand up to Vader but wasn’t big enough that Vader’s offense would make no sense against him. This is a freaking fight. All night long has been physical but it’s been reigned in which is a huge help to it and it’s making the thing work a lot better. Vader is bleeding from the eye. That can’t be a good thing at all.

They’re just punching the tar out of each other here and it’s AWESOME stuff. Boss throws a freaking DDT off the middle rope. I’m into this also if you can’t tell. There’s not a lot to say here as it’s just them beating the crap out of each other with STIFF shots. The Vader Bomb gets two but the Vadersault ends this.

I don’t think Boss ever pinned Vader even though they feuded all summer. Post match Boss goes nuts on Vader and Race with the nightstick. In the back Bockwinkle takes the stick and the cuffs away from him, leading to him becoming the Guardian Angel.

Rating: B. Again, this was far more of a fight than a match but it worked VERY well. The matches would get progressively worse, but the first ones were straight up fights. This worked fine although it could have been better. Just awesome fighting here which never gets old.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

Oh like this needs an introduction. They fight over a bunch of wrestling holds which gets us nowhere. This is one of those matches that it’s hard to talk about because these two really do nothing but have classics. These are hard to make fun of or anything like that because they’re just awesome. The story here like I’ve said is that Steamboat just asked for a title shot and got one.

Flair was booking and realized there was no great wrestling match on the card so they went with it. There was more or less no chance that Flair was losing here but the match was going to be great no matter what, which is what makes feuds a lot of the time. The technical stuff here never gets old. They started off a lot of their matches like that but as always it was the ending and the middle that set the matches apart from each other.

Just keep in mind: this is the same Flair that was jobbing to Hogan time after time in just a few months. Why was he jobbing? Because Hogan can of course not wrestle for a year and a half and then come back and beat a guy like Flair that can do this and no one questions it. That makes sense right? They fight on the floor a bit and you can see Flair not being as facey as he had been in the recent months. Yes they were turning him heel AGAIN.

Anyway, we go back in the ring and Steamboat is in control. That lasts a few minutes and now Flair is in control. The great thing is that neither option really is better or worse than the other. That’s a rare thing but when it works it works really well. Steamboat hooks the figure four but Flair gets to the ropes. Steamboat is one of the few people that can get away with doing something like that. Finally Flair goes for the knee, and you know what’s coming.

The figure four goes on but Ricky manages to hold on. Keep that in mind as it comes into play later (yes, they use that thing known as psychology here. I know it’s foreign to a lot of people today but nearly 16 years ago all the hall of famers were doing it). Steamboat hooks the top rope suplex and Flair bounces. Both guys are out but it only gets two. The fans are popping for the big spots but other than that they’re quiet.

Not quiet in the when does this end so we can all go home way, but quiet in the this is great stuff way, which it is. Steamboat gets up and both guys look like they could go another 20 minutes or so. That’s freaking impressive. We go back to the double chickenwing which is what Steamboat beat Flair with at the Chi-Town Rumble which was match number one in the epic series.

However, the knee gives out and Steamboat collapses kind of into a Tiger suplex. Both guys’ shoulders are down (the ending to the 2nd match in the series: Clash of the Champions 6, 2/3 falls in a 55 minute classic, which ended with this but Steamboat got his shoulder up then and doesn’t now). Steamboat thinks he’s won the title but instead it’s a draw and Flair keeps the belt. The title was held up and a few days later they had a rematch on Saturday Night where Flair won clean.

Rating: A. In short, this is a match that simply can’t be messed up. They could have a match today and it would be decent. Somehow, this is nothing compared to their three others in the late 80s. Those are coming.

Overall Rating: A-. YES. This is what I’ve been looking for here. Today I’ve watched Beach Blast 93 and December to Dismember. This makes up for those by a long shot. There’s not really a bad match on here. All night long they were working hard and you can see that in the in ring work. This is a very good show and worth going out of your way to see, which isn’t something that can be said that often. AWESOME show and easily the best for WCW for a very long time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Spring Stampede 1997
Date: April 6, 1997
Location: Tupelo Coliseum, Tupelo, Mississippi
Attendance: 8,356
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

I had planned on continuing with the 1998 shows but it occurred to me that I was going to run out of PPVs in my series of Nitro reviews. This is only a few months after where I am in that series though so I won’t be too far removed at least. This is a B show with no Hogan, Piper, or anyone else for the most part and a main event of Savage vs. Page in a grudge match. Savage joined the NWO at SuperBrawl and was put with Page to bring DDP up to the main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Page vs. Savage of course. On and the Steiners vs. Outsiders for the millionth time. The third match talked about is the Women’s Title match. See what we’re up against here?

This is where Uncensored 96 happened. It HAS TO be better than that right?

Nash has said that he’ll fight all of WCW if he has to. Scott Hall is missing and has been for THREE WEEKS, but they’ve announced him up to this point just because. Therefore it’ll be a handicap match for the titles with Nash vs. Steiners.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon

No Sonny with Dragon here. Dragon takes him to the mat to start and then Rey takes Dragon down to the mat as well. There’s a camel clutch but Dragon quickly escapes. We get to a standoff so Dragon hits the rapidfire kicks to take Rey down. Flair has a big announcement later tonight. Dragon hooks an armbar and they’re still on the mat. Back up and he hits a kind of spinning crucifix into a modified version of what we call Shock Treatment.

Powerbomb is followed by a hot shot and then a sleeper by Dragon. Not a Dragon Sleeper but a sleeper by Dragon that is. A BIG Liger Bomb puts Rey down but Dragon won’t cover. There haven’t been any pin attempts between falls and it’s kind of hurting the match. Tombstone gets two and it’s back to the sleeper. Rey comes back with a spinwheel kick but Dragon kicks him down because Rey can’t follow up.

Gordbuster sets up an Indian Deathlock. Rey gets out and manages to kick Dragon off to the floor to get a breather. Sleeper #3 goes on by Dragon but Rey counters into one of his own to a BIG pop. Dragon gets thrown to the floor again and Rey hits a dive up and over the top. And let’s cut to Lee Marshall to get a statement from Kevin Nash. Instead it’s Syxx and we can’t hear him so there was NO POINT to this.

Back to see Rey dropping the dime for a delayed two. Rey loads up a moonsault press but Dragon dropkicks him off the top and Mysterio crashes down onto the floor. Dragon dives over the top but hurts himself at the same time. Back in Rey tries a Lionsault press but Dragon dropkicks him out of the air in a cool counter. Giant swing by Dragon puts both guys down. They trade fast pinfall attempts for two each and an enziguri puts Rey down. Super rana gets two for Dragon. Tiger and dragon suplexes by Dragon are both countered by Rey and a standing rana gets the pin for Mysterio.

Rating: C+. It was an entertaining match but for the most part it was a mess. They kept seeing to be missing the chemistry out there and that’s a bad thing most of the time. Also the mat work is the wrong idea here. Not a bad match at all but this was one of those matches you expected more from. Dragon would win the TV Title the next night.

Marshall tries to get to talk to Nash again but gets Syxx again. The Steiners try to jump through the door but security stops them. Scott gets maced and handcuffed. Ok then.

Women’s Title: Akira Hokuto vs. Madusa

This was a weird title as it only existed for a few years. It was won in December of 96 and defended a handful of times ever. It was vacated in the summer, won in Japan in September and never mentioned on WCW TV more than twice again. Later on they actually introduced a Women’s Cruiserweight Championship. Hokuto is champion coming in. For some reason that I’ll never fathom, Lee Marshall, the guy WCW fired for being horrible at commentary, is talking about this match.

They start off fast with Madusa hammering her down in the corner but walking into a clothesline. Akira chokes her in the corner and covers for two as Madusa bridges out. She hits some hair slams for two and Hokuto goes to the corner. Madusa hits a Stratusphere to take her down but Hokuto is right back on the leg. Madusa fights off Onoo and hits a pair of dropkicks. The American hits a German on the Japanese woman but Sonny distracts again. Luna Vachon comes in and takes out Madusa’s knee so that Akira can retain.

Rating: F+. Madusa looked like Kaitlyn a little bit so I can’t call it a full on failure, but dang this was boring. At the end of the day you can’t bring out a title once every four months and expect us to care about it. Nothing to see in the match either with both chicks doing basic stuff for five minutes.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Steven Regal

So on February 13, 1997, the WWF’s young Samoan Rocky Maivia beat the blue blood Hunter Hearst Helmsley for the Intercontinental Title. On February 17, 1997, WCW’s young Samoan Prince Iaukea beat the blue blood Lord Steven Regal for the TV Title. Now I’m sure this was a TOTAL coincidence right? Iaukea had nothing to offer in the ring and lost the title the next night.

Regal stalls for awhile so we’re told that Scott Steiner has been arrested. The Prince takes him to the mat with a headlock as Tony tries to explain that Iaukea is one of the lines of defense against the NWO. Dennis Rodman is part of the NWO and since we hate him, let’s plug his movie and air clips of it tomorrow night on Nitro! Regal comes back with a knee lift but it’s right back to the headlock by the Prince.

Cross body gets two for the champ. Regal complains about a punch so Heenan says that Iaukea doesn’t know that he’s the champion right now. Prince takes him down with a test of strength so Regal hooks a headscissors and nips up into an eye poke. It’s now a singles match for the tag titles with Rick vs. Nash. Regal hooks a full nelson and then pounds him down in the corner.

The Prince Hawaiians Up and then does nothing at all with it. Regal easily takes him into the corner and hits a pair of knees to the face. A cross body by Prince misses and Regal takes control again. He whips the Prince into the corner and tries a rollup but Iaukea sits on him and gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Iaukea was just so boring it’s unreal. He never had anything special about him and it never caught on with the fans at all. Regal is great but he can’t work miracles here, and despite Iaukea holding the belt for almost two months, he never got any better for the most part. Nothing to see here.

Regal beats up the Prince post match and puts him in the Regal Stretch.

Here’s Flair for some big announcement. Gene thinks that it’s Flair returning to the ring. Flair says that the Horsemen will win tonight and that he’s back on May 1. He says Anderson will be back but it never happened. As for Flair and Piper…..Kevin Greene is coming to WCW. Seriously, that’s practically a direct quote. Flair wants the NWO in Charlotte and he doesn’t care who it is because the Horsemen are going to run them out of here. WHY DID IT TAKE THEM 10 MONTHS TO FREAKING DO THAT???

Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael vs. Public Enemy

Can Jarrett carry three people? I certainly hope so or this is going to be awful. Mongo vs. Rocco to start us off and it’s time to stall. Rocco finds Mongo’s lack of talent disturbing so he chats with known ring general Johnny Grunge. Mongo tackles both enemies and it’s a double Horsemen strut. Off to Jarrett (thank goodness) vs. Grunge and Double J hooks an abdominal stretch.

Johnny gets out of it and tries a leapfrog but gets caught by an uppercut from Grunge. Jeff gets knocked to the floor and teases walking out but comes back and counts with the referee. Back to the starters and it’s a Mongo chinlock on Rock. McMichael works on the back with a backbreaker and a tilt-a-whirl for two. Everything breaks down and they go split screen.

Rock is thrown into the side of a covered wagon. I’ll give WCW this: their PPV sets tended to be really cool and definitely not generic like most WWE ones today. Grunge tries to put Debra on the table but Jeff saves with a chair. As Rock is thrown into a steer, Grunge dives through a table. Back to the ring and it’s completely broken down. Debra trips Rocco and it’s briefcase time. Jeff cleans house with dropkicks but Rock gets the briefcase. Figure Four to Grunge but Rock blasts Jeff with the case and Jarrett is pinned while holding Grunge in the hold.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting. I thought it was going to be horrible but it wasn’t all that bad. It furthers the really annoying Horsemen split which would finally happen after many more months. Boring match for the most part but the wagon spot was kind of cool.

Gene talks to Harlem Heat who are in a four corners match tonight, as singles competitors with Luger and Giant. The winner gets a shot at Hogan, so who do you think is going to win eventually? Sherri says her guys are ready. This would be the match where Booker rants about Hogan and calls him the N word before immediately panicking. It’s censored in this version (home video) and he says sucka but you can read his lips saying the other word.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit

Dean is champion coming in. They go into the corner almost immediately and it’s a clean break. They go to the mat and neither guy can get control for more than a few seconds. Malenko is sent to the floor but he runs back in almost immediately. Malenko takes him to the mat and works on the knee as Woman screams. Benoit kicks him off and it’s back to a stalemate.

Benoit hooks a top wristlock and things slow back down again. Back up into a test of strength which neither can really win. Benoit does the always amazing bridge which he holds while Malenko lands on him. Chris takes him to the mat and works on the arm before into a chinlock and surfboard hold. It’s a Benoit match so of course they’re flying through holds. Malenko escapes with a belly to back suplex and takes over. Small package gets two for Dean.

Here come the chops from Benoit but they seem to wake Malenko up. Camel clutch goes on for a bit and then it’s off to a short arm scissors. Benoit does the Shawn/Bulldog counter and both guys are down. Clothesline gets two for Chris. Now it’s an abdominal stretch as the submission parade continues. Dean comes up with an interesting counter by dropping to one knee. I don’t remember ever seeing that before.

Benoit works on the ribs some more and channels his inner Dynamite with a snap suplex for two. Dean tries a vertical suplex but Benoit reverses into a reverse suplex….and here comes Jackie to ruin everything that they’ve got going on here. We’ve got a catfight on the floor and Jimmy Hart comes out….to do nothing.

Swan Dive hits and Jimmy is stealing the title. Here comes Eddie Guerrero and Dean gets draped over the top rope. Dean suplexes Benoit over the top and out to the floor, probably breaking the Canadian’s hip. Arn Anderson comes out and beats up Dean but Kevin Sullivan comes out and Anderson lets him hit Benoit with a Singapore cane which gets the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until we had five run-ins inside of three minutes. This Benoit vs. Sullivan feud went on for over a year and I don’t think anything was ever really settled. The ending here sucked but the match wasn’t great in the first place. They were having a slow submission based match but it wasn’t really that great. The last five minutes before the interference were good though.

Everyone other than Arn leave together and put the belt on Eddie’s shoulder for some reason, in the third (that I know of) stolen belt storyline of the year. Dean says he wasn’t supposed to be here, which was supposed to lead to some faction but it never came together.

Tag Titles: Kevin Nash vs. Rick Steiner

Only in WCW. Nick Patrick is referee because we need more gimmicks in this. Rick jumps him but gets knocked down almost immediately. DiBiase and Syxx are at ringside so this is 4-1. Nash pounds on him in the corner and hits his knees but runs into a boot. Belly to belly suplex looks like Rick is picking up a boulder. That suplex/powerslam move he uses gets two.

Syxx pulls the top rope down and Steiner crashes to the floor. Back in the side slam gets two. Why isn’t Patrick fast counting him? The Outsiders are the champions coming in here. DiBiase gets in a right hand and Nash hits the running crotch attack while Rick is in 619 position. Big boot puts Rick down as we’re totally in squash territory. There’s the Jackknife but Steiner kicks out. I don’t remember many people ever doing that other than Undertaker.

Steiner hits him low on another Jackknife attempt which Patrick actually doesn’t DQ him for. He’s kind of doing a bad job of being an evil referee here. Rick hits the bulldog but it only gets two, even though Nash’s shoulder never came up. Down goes Syxx but Nash comes back with a clothesline to take over again.

Syxx takes off the buckle pad and Snake Eyes onto the buckle sets up Snake Eyes on the buckle which sets up Snake Eyes on the buckle which sets up Snake Eyes on the buckle which sets up the Jackknife for the pin and a forced count (Patrick was hesitant) for the pin. The interesting thing here is that DiBiase says that’s enough in the middle of this and Nash yells at him. DiBiase walks out.

Rating: D-. So Nash wins a squash on PPV in a one on one match for the titles. I guess the more important part here is that DiBiase looks to be defecting which would mean more if he was an actual wrestler. This would lead to him managing the Steiners which would last for awhile until I think February. The match sucked.

Luger and Giant are ready.

Stevie Ray vs. Booker T vs. Giant vs. Lex Luger

One fall to a finish here and the winner gets Hogan eventually. Luger vs. Booker to start which should be interesting. Feeling out process to start until Luger starts slamming Booker a few times. Off to Stevie who punches Luger down a bit but gets caught between Giant and Luger which goes badly as you can imagine. Off to Giant and Stevie looks scared. Stevie knocks Giant back and gets loudly booed but Giant comes back with a clothesline.

Booker gets thrown around as well and it’s time for a meeting on the floor. I keep forgetting this is a four corners match. That gets remedied by Giant vs. Luger who have a power lockup. Luger tries a slam but Giant falls on him for two. The tag in Harlem Heat and the brothers having to fight gets a big reaction from the crowd.

They lock up and Booker works on the arm. There’s a lot of non contact here which makes sense for the most part. Booker tags in Lex and all is right with the world again. Stevie comes back with strikes and it’s Booker with a side suplex to put Lex down. A knee drop misses and it’s Giant time. A big elbow drop misses and Stevie comes in sans tag. An ax kick by Stevie doesn’t work and neither does a side kick so they go to the knees to get Giant down.

Giant gets up with ease and a big boot puts Ray down. Off to Luger again for some elbow drops which get two. Belly to back puts Booker down but Stevie breaks up the Rack. Booker hooks a chinlock and the Harlem side kick gets two. Harlem Heat double team Luger and it’s back to the chinlock. Lex suplexes his way out of it but Booker breaks it up. Giant breaks up a cover off an ax kick but there’s no cover. Harlem Hangover misses and it’s Stevie vs. Giant. Giant kicks Booker to the floor and calls for the chokeslam but tags in Luger so he can win with the Rack instead.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad for the most part as it was really a tag match in disguise. That being said, it didn’t mean a thing as Luger wouldn’t get his title shot until August so this was kind of a waste of time. The match itself was pretty fun though as both teams played it like a tag match instead of the fourway which was the right idea.

Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page

We get the long walk to the ring with Savage and Liz. Savage wants to make it a party. “SLIM JIMS FOR EVERYBODY!!!” This is the first main event for Page. He cuts a quick promo before the match about having to stand up for what he believes in. Savage did something to Kimberly so this is a revenge match. It’s not important enough to mention, but it’s worth revenge. Ok then. This is No DQ.

Savage stalls like he’s in Memphis (it’s close to it) but jumps Page to get us going. Page fights back and they go into the ring. He tries something like a suplex but I have no idea what it wound up being. A quick Cutter attempt is countered and Page is sent to the floor. They go into the crowd and the camera chasing after them is kind of cool. Page grabs a trashcan to blast Savage in the head. Savage is NWO in case that means anything to you.

They brawl back to the ring with some choking on the way. Savage hides behind Kimberly and Liz rakes Page’s back. There’s the ax handle to the floor and Page is sent into the floor. With Page down, Savage chases Kimberly but is stopped by an attractive chair. After a shot to the back he beats up Dave Penzer and brings in another chair. Coming back in Page manages something like a Van Daminator but with a shove instead of a spin kick.

Unfortunately for Page he can’t follow up so Savage chokes away in the corner. Page makes a quick comeback but is knocked right back don. Discus lariat out of nowhere puts Savage down but Page is spent. Savage slams him three times and goes to the floor to get the bell. Kimberly steals it from him but Savage jumps anyway, right into the feet instead of the elbow. I HATE that spot. Cutter is countered with a low blow for two.

Savage beats up the referee after the count and hits a good piledriver on him. He takes the belt off of Mark Curtis and whips him a little bit. The elbow hits but there’s no referee. Cue Nick Patrick in the sleeveless shirt of EVIL. Diamond Cutter out of NOWHERE hits and Patrick counts the pin because of the Nash stuff earlier.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Page pulling off a great upset win to pop the crowd and send them home happy. The brawling wasn’t great but they did it well enough for what the purpose here was. These two would feud over most of the summer and it brought Page up to the main event level that he would stay at for years.

Post match the whole NWO (including DiBiase) comes out as Nash has Patrick by the shirt. The fans want Sting but you know he’s not coming out on this show. Patrick gets beaten down and Page is sent to the floor. Savage goes after Kimberly but Bischoff stops a smack. There’s a shoving match and Savage drills Bischoff and the NWO FREAKS to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was very much a filler show as nothing of note happened here at all. It’s certainly not the worst show I’ve ever seen and I wouldn’t call it bad, but I certainly wouldn’t call it good either. Either way, things would only continue to be this way for the next few months with nothing significant happening until the fall when Sting vs. Hogan really got going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at: