Thunder
Date: October 14, 1999
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attendance: 4,941
Commentators: Kevin Nash, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Now we’re getting close to the end of an era for WCW, and there’s something special on this show. From what I understand, Kevin Nash is on his last night as the booker and is going to be sitting in on commentary tonight. This could range anywhere from absolutely hilarious to the biggest disaster since…..well probably since Fall Brawl actually. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

At least the show is live tonight so it only mostly sucks instead of completely sucking.

Tenay and Zbyszko don’t have an explanation for why Nash is there. His justification: he’s booked himself into a retirement angle so WCW is putting him in the booth to recoup some of his money. He hasn’t seen Hall since Hall left with two girls for sushi on Monday. Oh yeah this is going to be REALLY good.

Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker vs. Jim Duggan

During the entrances, the announcers aren’t sure if Goldberg vs. Sid is still on for Halloween Havoc. Normally the response would be “oh of course it is” but this is WCW so you never can tell. It’s a smart move to start this show with a former Mid-South star in Duggan. The fans chant USA as Duggan shoots at Parker with the board. That would be a different kind of shooting than Nash will likely be doing tonight. A right hand knocks Parker out to the floor and the brawl heads outside. Nash thinks Buddy should grab the board. That’s not a bad idea actually.

Parker stomps away and rakes the eyes back inside. He even avoids a charge in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Nash: “Use the board!” Duggan fights up with his wide variety of right hands, which thankfully are no longer taped. The three point clothesline and the Old Glory knee drop are enough for the pin. Nash: “Tenay where do you come up with the names for these names?”

Rating: D. I’m not sure what else you would expect out of this match. Parker was a jobber about ten years before this and is still at about the same level here. There wasn’t much to see, or unfortunately hear, in this one with the only funny line coming after the match with Nash asking where the Old Glory name came from.

Lash Leroux vs. Al Greene

Nash sings Al Green songs and brings up the two of them being old tag partners. More smart booking with Leroux in there, even though Nash shows a strange obsession with his sideburns. Lash punches out of a gorilla press and dances a bit before clotheslining Greene out to the floor. Tenay brings up Leroux challenging for the Cruiserweight Title at Halloween Havoc before Lash sends him into the buckle. Al catches him out of the air in a powerslam for two but Lash shrugs it off and hits Whiplash for the pin. Basically a squash and even Lash points at his sideburns. Oh they’re shaped like L’s. That’s…..well that’s something.

Video on the First Family vs. Harlem Heat. That’s something as well, but it’s something very, very bad.

Here are Luger and Elizabeth with something to say. Tenay announces Buff Bagwell vs. “The Package” next week like he’s announcing the main event of Starrcade. Luger talks about being in this business for thirteen years and thinks it’s ridiculous that they have to come to a town like Baton Rouge. The fans will have to shut up if they want him to talk. Nash: “He’s so smarmy!”

Luger asks Elizabeth how many internet emails, cards…..and then he trails off to yell at the fans about how awesome he is. Luger blames the fans for the death of Lex Luger because his greatness won’t be appreciated until he’s gone. Nash: “Does he use the Old Glory torture rack?” No one sent him any cards while he was recovering from his biceps injury because the fans want to climb over him to get to the top.

Cue Buff Bagwell who says he tried to get in touch with Luger while he was on the shelf and Luger seems to have forgotten some of his friends. Speaking of friends, what has been going on with Luger and Sting? Bagwell followed the two of them down the roads and learned a lot from them, but now they’ve turned their backs on everyone. Luger thinks Bagwell should get on his hands and knees to thank him for everything he’s done for Bagwell over the years. Cue Rick Steiner (Nash: “Submarine attack!”) but, I kid you not, La Parka comes out to make the save. Nash thinks Luger is terrified of skeletons.

Video on Kidman seeming to have hooked up with Torrie, who has blown David Flair off. David hasn’t helped his case by getting beaten up by Hennig and Curly Bill.

Tenay asks Nash about the girls that sit with Hall and Nash. Nash sings about Torrie in response and asks where this week’s road report is.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Scott Armstrong/Steve Armstrong

Knobbs pounds Steve into the corner to start but walks into a nice dropkick. It’s off to Morrus (kind of a noteworthy person at the time this is being written. Five years from now, that likely won’t mean much) vs. Steve with the Armstrong getting dropped on his face out of a gorilla press. A double shoulder drops Steve as Nash brings up Bull Nakano as Morrus’ hairdresser.

Jimmy Hart’s distraction allows the First Family to get in some double teaming. Can we get a look at the second family? They have to be more interesting. Steve gets splashed in the corner a few times and Morrus stomps away again. He misses a top rope elbow though and Steve (who looks like a more muscular Lodi) makes the hot tag to Scott. Everything breaks down and Knobbs runs Scott over, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D-. The Filthy Animals and the Revolution are busy fighting each other but these guys are getting a pay per view title shot and a feud with a top level team like Harlem Heat. That shows you the value of having friends in high places, which doesn’t mean anything good for the fans but it means great things for Knobbs.

Post match Knobbs says Harlem Heat are the “fruit booties” now, so here come the champs to clean house. Nash: “That’s Wesley Snipes! Nah it’s just Booker T.” Ray wants to fight the, and I quote, “Doughnut eating, milk drinking fruit booties” right now. I would ask what that means, but I don’t think I’m old enough to hear the explanation.

We recap Mysterio vs. Saturn, triggering the implosion of the Revolution. Tenay suggests renaming Shane to Chain Douglas. Actually I’ve heard worse ideas.

Now we get to the good stuff, as Nash has put together a video on Sid vs. Goldberg, complete with an over the top NFL Films style narration. Sid shouts about Goldberg not being able to touch him and how good it will feel at Halloween Havoc. Nash: “We don’t know that yet because we haven’t touched.”

We look at Goldberg beating up Horace but Nash stops doing commentary to celebrate making it onto the hard camera in the front row. Nash: “Goldberg! A force! A bald man…..with a tattoo…..who has only lost once……to Kevin Nash!” Tenay: “Did you ever work for NFL Films?” Nash: “Goldberg, standing in the tundra of Lambeau Field…..and here’s Sid. 6’10, 200….300….400…..no 597lbs of menacing steel!”

Larry is begging for Nash’s “water” as we see Steiner and Sid beating up Van Hammer. Nash points out that the referee, while bald, is in fact, not Goldberg. Nash wants to know why Rick Steiner is from Detroit but talks like a southern redneck. We jump ahead to the main event where Goldberg came out to fight Steiner and Sid. Nash: “Goldberg ponders the situation, looks from side to side, walks away, winks, and SOME TACKLE! WHAT DOES MONDAY BRING US???”

This was one of the funniest and most entertaining things I’ve ever seen on Thunder and I can’t imagine it being topped later on. Here’s the key to comedy, especially in wrestling: you can’t script it down to the letter. This was Nash riffing on a pretty basic recap package and being entertaining because Kevin Nash is a funny guy and can turn something simple into something funny. You can’t just hand someone a script and tell them to do comedy.

Imagine someone like Lance Storm trying to do this. It would bomb as he just doesn’t have that kind of personality and probably wouldn’t be able to make it funny. Great talkers can read the phone book and make if funny but if you have someone not geared towards comedy reading material that isn’t very funny, it’s usually going to fail miserably. This on the other hand was hilarious and something that a written recap doesn’t do justice.

Horace Hogan vs. Brian Adams

I don’t see this being as entertaining. Nash accuses Shane Douglas of dragging Saturn down as the announcers are already ignoring the match. Apparently Malenko and Benoit have taken a trip to Japan to perform. Well that might be better for them instead of getting beaten up by Sid and Steiner again. Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as Nash finally starts talking about the match. Horace fights back with a DDT and a low blow (Nash: “The Old Glory mule kick!”) and they head outside.

Nash thinks Luger is scared to come out here because of the skeletons on Adams’ pants and promises to put a package together on Luger for next week. Tenay: “Please not again.” I would say it has to be more entertaining than this match, but so would a bad toe infection. Horace scores with a backdrop but gets caught in a backbreaker. Nash gives us some trivia: this was originally a hair vs. hair match. With the fans dying in front of their eyes, Adams hits a horrible looking piledriver for the pin.

Rating: D-. You remember a few minutes ago when I talked about people needing to stick to what they’re good at? I’d advise Horace to stick to something other than wrestling as he really isn’t very talented in that field. This is the kind of match that gives Thunder a bad reputation. It was sloppy, ignored by the commentators and didn’t need to exist. Adams would be better suited as a bodyguard for some punk heel. Bad match if that wasn’t clear.

Video on Sting vs. Hogan.

Here’s Lash Leroux for a chat. Tenay: “He gets promo time as well!” Leroux says people didn’t take him seriously when he got here, but a Cajun knows how to add a little spice to things. All the Lash Lovers are here and they’ll be in Lash Vegas to see him take the title. Lash insists that he can dance but thankfully doesn’t demonstrate. Nash: “If you can dance and play the accordion in Louisiana, you’re going to get lucky tonight.” I’ve heard worse promos, though it was pretty much one note.

Berlyn vs. Brad Armstrong video. I really hope this winds up being revealed as a big rib.

After a commercial for WCW action figures, Nash wants to know why he’s doing a job in the ad. I’m sure 99% of the fans had no idea what he was talking about here but my goodness it’s making this easier to sit through.

Prince Iaukea vs. Berlyn

This would be the Column B to go with Nash’s Column A stuff. Tonight it’s Steiner/Luger vs. Bagwell/La Parka. Nash: “GET OUT! NO WAY!” That would again be Column B. Nash says it’s a result of half the roster being gone today so they had to book this on the fly. Tenay: “Welcome to this all shoot edition of Thunder.” Iaukea jumps over the referee and dropkicks Berlyn down before hitting a Thesz Press and right hands.

Berlyn gets in some cheap shots to take over as Nash talks about a variety wrestling show airing on TBS, hosted by himself and Hall. Saturday Night Titans? He needs to move on because he’s too old to bump at this point. Iaukea fights back but gets poked in the eye. Nash: “Little shortcutsky there. Oh wait he’s German. Achen-shortcutsken.” An Angle Slam is called a Samoan drop (Nash: “Old Glory Samoan drop”) and gets two for Iaukea but Berlyn grabs a quick suplex. The bodyguard gets in a cheap shot and Berlyn’s neckbreaker is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Kevin Nash is carrying this show on his back and I’m having a great time listening to him. The wrestling has ranged from bad to horrible but he’s made the matches fly by with these jokes here and there. Berlyn and Iaukea are nothing in the ring but the bodyguard continues to look like a potential star. Or at least a very tall one.

Video on Meng, which I believe is the same one from Monday. Ignore the WCW Hotline phone number, or at least the bottom half of it, appearing at the top of the video.

Luther Biggs vs. Meng

Oh Nash is going to have a field day here. Larry is scared of seeing the worst student if Biggs is the best. Nash compliments Meng’s hair. That’s certainly in his ballpark. He also wonders why you never see Meng and Barry White in the same place at the same time. Meng jumps him to start and the beating is on in the corner. Biggs’ offense has almost no effect and the Death Grip ends this quick.

Coach Stern tries to come in for a save but gets Death Gripped as well. Nash: “You should know you’re never going to win after a sweet video package like that.”

Perry Saturn vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rematch from Monday when Shane Douglas interfered. Mysterio now has some cool rotating pyro. As the announcers talk about the Halloween Havoc card, Nash brings up Mean Gene’s Burgers. I have to find one of those places someday. Saturn takes him down and hammers away to start before Rey flips out of a German suplex attempt.

Rey gets launched face first onto the top turnbuckle but avoids a charge and hits the Bronco Buster. Oh sorry the Rough Rider. Nash: “The Old Glory Rough Rider!” Even Nash is cracking up at the running joke. Saturn suplexes Rey with ease with a t-bone and a big belly to belly. Nash: “That was a porterhouse!” Saturn cranks on the arm as Nash talks about the Old Glory Living Legend.

Back up and Rey dropkicks the knee out, only to get caught in an overhead belly to belly. Larry: “Old Glory suplex?” Nash correctly identifies a full nelson and Larry is stunned. A rollup gets two for Rey but he tries a headscissors out of the corner and gets dropped face first on the mat. Rey’s top rope hurricanrana is countered with a superbomb for two but his victory roll is enough for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was decent enough but Nash’s commentary actually gets distracting after a bit. It’s funny, but this was one of the only decent matches all night and I was too busy chuckling at Nash’s lines to get into it. Granted when you can make Tenay and Zbyszko entertaining, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Saturn pulls out a chain, lays out Mysterio and throws the referee to the floor. He adds in the Old Glory elbow drop and the Rings of Saturn for good measure.

Rick Steiner/Total Package vs. La Parka/Buff Bagwell

This has to be a rib from Nash. I mean, it HAS to be. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with La Parka putting up a better fight against Steiner than almost anyone else has in months. His reward is a hard whip into the barricade but at least he tried. Steiner hammers away on the floor as Bagwell chokes Luger against the barricade. They get inside for the first time with Steiner nailing La Parka with the chair. Nash: “And the Old Glory choke on the outside!”

We settle down to Steiner vs. La Parka (which I believe is Spanish for “what the heck am I doing here?”) with Rick cranking on the arm. Off to Luger for a suplex for two but La Parka comes back with a middle rope dropkick. Steiner shoves La Parka into the corner for the tag to Bagwell as everything breaks down. La Parka gets in the way of a Blockbuster attempt, so Bagwell gives him the Blockbuster instead, allowing Steiner and Luger to stomp La Parka for…..the no contest to end the show.

Rating: F. Nash tried but was more subdued here and there was nothing he could do with this one. The ending didn’t make sense but I’m sure this is going to lead to something else next week. Now I never said it was going to make sense or be connected to what we saw here but I’m sure it’s going to lead somewhere.

Overall Rating: B. This show was a blast. I know Kevin Nash gets a lot of flack from fans, but he made this horrible show into something interesting and entertaining for two hours. That alone makes him into something better than most of the people on this show, who haven’t entertained me that much over the last few months. This is another show that barely matters as the writers are changing in the very near future, so at least it was a fun show to go out on.

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Monday Nitro #209
Date: October 11, 1999
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’ve coming off a genuinely great wrestling match last week and something tells me that it’s going to go downhill from here. The main event is Benoit/Hart teaming up against a team to be announced. Other than that, we might get to see more car hijinks between Sid and Goldberg in the parking lot. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Gorilla Monsoon. That’s quite the tribute considering he never wrestled there. Monsoon is still one of the fondest remembered names ever in wrestling and it’s nice of them to do this.

Benoit and Hart arrive and are met by Luger and Elizabeth. The latter thinks we need immigration and it seems Luger will be one of their opponents tonight.

Sid gets out of a cab. Continuity!

We go to Tony and Bobby, who have some kind words about Monsoon. Heenan gives a very heartfelt tribute to his friend, saying that the pearly gates of Heaven will now be known as the Gorilla Position. He has to look down to hide his tears. That’s a very touching tribute.

Malenko asks Saturn what happened last week. Saturn was there to stop Shane and attacked Mysterio in self defense but Malenko doesn’t seem convinced.

Perry Saturn vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Saturn apologizes to Mysterio but again, Rey doesn’t buy it. He armdrags Saturn down off a handshake and we start fast. A headscissors and dropkick send Saturn to the floor and Rey follows him out with a big flip dive. He does that as well as anyone not named Guerrera that I’ve ever seen. Back in and a hurricanrana is countered into a Liger Bomb from Saturn, another move that never gets old. We hit an armbar on Mysterio and go to a break. Saturn hits the springboard spinning legdrop and a release belly to belly suplex to send Rey flying.

Mysterio avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Bronco Buster but walks into a reverse powerbomb to put him back down again. A legdrop misses though and Mysterio springboards right onto Saturn’s shoulders but he gets out of the Death Valley Driver. Back up again and they crotch each other trying simultaneous dropkicks. That’s quite a painful looking spot actually. Saturn gets up first and goes all the way to the top but Rey pops up and hits a huge super hurricanrana. Cue Douglas to attempt some interference but Malenko cuts him off. This brings out Kidman for protection but he hits Saturn, drawing the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but and I could have gone for more of it. Saturn may not have been a top star or anything, but he was capable of having an entertaining match with the right opponent. Mysterio certainly fits the bill too as he was busting out the high flying stuff. Unfortunately, none of these guys have anything to fight over because Benoit is suddenly in the main event scene (and it’s about time) but the US Title is way out of reach, Disco Inferno is Cruiserweight Champion, and the Tag Team Titles, which would fit this feud well, are still being defended against the First Family. The action is there, but the priorities aren’t.

Kidman wants a tag match later tonight, because setting it up for next week would just be lunacy.

Video on Meng. He’s a monster you know.

Arn Anderson and Ric Flair are watching the video with cans of Surge next to them and Anderson brushing his teeth. They declare Meng the real deal and that’s it. As usual, this was random and served no bearing on the show otherwise.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Kaz Hayashi

Disco, now wanting to be known as D.I., is defending. Kaz takes him down with a flying headscissors so Disco comes back with right hands. Those just earn him another headscissors and a dropkick as they’re actually setting up a simple premise already. The champ bails to the floor but takes a suicide dive. Somehow, his hair is still immaculate.

Back in and Disco hits a good running clothesline (wow he can still his arm out AND has perfect hair) followed by the middle rope forearm and neckbreaker for two. Four moves of gloom maybe? A sunset flip doesn’t get Kaz anywhere as Disco rakes the eyes and plants him with a DDT. They head outside for nothing so Disco misses another clothesline and gets caught in a hurricanrana. Kaz counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip but walks into the Chartbuster to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This is similar to the old days of the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship. Back at Starrcade 1984, the title was defended between two guys very similar to Disco: people who may have been under the weight limit but who wrestled like any average heavyweight. There’s no reason to have a Cruiserweight division if the wrestlers aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Kaz did some high flying but it’s nowhere near enough to save a match like this.

Meng vs. Konnan

Konnan does his catchphrases and even a monster knows how stupid they sound. He kicks Konnan down and no sells a faceplant (good stereotype) before trying an early Death Grip. Instead he nails Konnan in the back of the head and chokes away in the corner as this is full squash mode. Meng no sells some clotheslines but actually does sell a bulldog. That earns him another superkick and a lot of yelling. Konnan tries a sunset flip out of the corner and gets caught in the Death Grip for the win.

Rating: D. I dig Meng doing his monster stuff but it’s similar to Scott Norton: you can only set this stuff up so many times before the effect wears off, especially if Goldberg is going to be the one beating him later on. Total squash here though and it’s nice to see Konnan getting shut up for a change.

Berlyn and the bodyguard jump Brad Armstrong but Brad steals Berlyn’s cane and fights back. My goodness just let them fight tonight and get it over with already.

Hall and Nash come to their seats again and say they’re not coming back. After wishing Dusty Rhodes a happy birthday, they’ll be back in July 2012 when he’s the right age for a WCW main event. Nash co-main evented a WWE show in December 2011 and was in the 2014 Royal Rumble, so somehow this isn’t too far off from the truth.

Goldberg vs. Horace Hogan

Sid stares Goldberg down during the entrance but Goldberg doesn’t do anything. Did anyone check the parking lot though??? One thing I’ve always wondered: why did someone as tough as Goldberg need a police escort? Shouldn’t that be a heel thing? Horace actually comes out second here for some reason. Heenan criticizes the term “uncrowned champion”, despite referring to Andre as that back in the day. Goldberg shoves Horace down with ease and hits the gorilla press powerslam.

An AA into a cross armbreaker has Horace in trouble but he makes the ropes. Did Goldberg ever win a match with that hold? They head outside with Goldberg being sent into the steps. Tony: “That could have knocked him out!” Heenan: “It could have broke the steps!” Horace gets two off a top rope splash but it’s spear and Jackhammer for the fast pin to complete the squash.

Gene brings out Hogan for a talk. Apparently the internet isn’t happy with Hogan getting another title shot but the internet makes Hogan sick. Red and Yellow will be running wild at Halloween Havoc. Yes and the ratings will be running through the floor.

Sting vs. Hogan video.

Nitro Girls.

Torrie wipes lipstick off Kidman’s face right in front of David Flair. Torrie: “Go talk to your dad or something.”

Brian Knobbs vs. Stevie Ray

Everyone, including the seconds, have weapons here. Knobbs kicks Stevie in the ribs to start but misses an early middle rope trashcan splash. A big chair shot to the head knocks Knobbs silly but Stevie would rather kick a trashcan on his head than cover him. Another kick to the head puts Brian outside but Morrus gets in some shots to take over. Thanks a lot Booker.

Back in and Knobbs hits his splash for two but Stevie hits him low to block the Pit Stop. Then Stevie and Knobbs do the Charleston and debate French literature. For all I know that’s what happens as the camera stays on Hall and Nash for a good bit. Booker and Morrus get in a fight at ringside as Stevie kicks a trashcan into Knobbs’ face for two. Jimmy Hart sneaks in a trashcan shot of his own (with as much impact as you would expect) to give Knobbs the pin.

Rating: D-. Jimmy Hart just knocked a Tag Team Champion silly to give Brian Knobbs a pin, furthering the feud before Knobbs and Morrus get a pay per view title shot in less than two weeks. There comes a point where there’s nothing left to do and WCW is reaching that point. What are you supposed to do when this is the kind of nonsense you have to deal with?

We look at the Revolution’s issues from last week.

Here’s Shane Douglas to address his issues with the team. Shane calls out the rest of the group to air their dirty laundry. He blames Malenko for Saturn not getting a pin earlier tonight and wants to know why Benoit is teaming with Hart tonight. Benoit: “If there was no Hart Family, there would be no Crippler, and if there were no Crippler, there would be no Revolution.” PREACH IT BROTHER!

He throws his Revolution shirt at Douglas and leaves. Saturn goes off on Douglas for setting up a tag match when Shane isn’t cleared to wrestle. Malenko steps in and agrees to team with him tonight and says they’ll get the Revolution back where it should be. Shane is left alone and hopefully is thrown off the team for good, as he never should have been a part of it in the first place.

Brad Armstrong vs. La Parka

La Parka does the Thinking Man pose on his chair. The mileage he’s gotten out of that one simple idea is incredible. He spends too much time dancing though and eats a clothesline as Armstrong starts fast. The referee stops Brad in the corner though and La Parka gets in some cheap shots to take over.

A powerslam gets two on Brad and the masked man mostly hits a top rope flip dive for two. Armstrong comes back with right hands but here’s Berlyn. The referee gets bumped and the bodyguard lays out La Parka with a chair. The distraction lets Berlyn hit his bad neckbreaker on Armstrong, but Brad on top of La Parka for the pin.

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING THIS STUPID FEUD! Good freaking grief this thing is getting more time than Goldberg vs. Sid and no one cares. It’s such a lame feud between a lame character and a guy who really doesn’t deserve a push like this at this point. You couldn’t have Eddie or someone like that beat up Berlyn, just to give him something interesting to do?

Curt Hennig is talking to Torrie when David comes up. Hennig beats him down for fun. Again, more stuff that could be used on more important people.

Norman Smiley vs. Berlyn

Norman promises to get jiggy with it. Somehow that line works. Berlyn throws him down with a hiptoss to start as the USA chants begin, presumably in support of the British wrestler. Eh no one ever said Mississippi was brilliant. Norman speeds things up with a hiptoss of his own and some clotheslines, sending Berlyn to the ropes to hide. Unfortunately it doesn’t send him to the unemployment line where he belongs, but it’s almost impossible to get fired from this company.

A belly to back suplex plants Smiley but Berlyn does the “I’m diving into your boot on purpose and there’s nothing else I could possibly be doing up here” spot. The wind up slam plants Berlyn twice in a row and it’s time to dance. You would think Berlyn would like that spot but instead he hits a running knee to the chest and a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Berlyn isn’t very good and it’s becoming more and more obvious every single week. I have no idea why they couldn’t just leave him as the dancing heel, but I’d assume it’s because WCW doesn’t know how to do something as simple as not screw up a simple character. Smiley continues to be WAY too good for the role he’s in.

Here’s Ric Flair with something to say. He’ll be facing DDP at Halloween Havoc but he wants to talk about “Mr. Perfect…..Curt Hennig.” A challenge is issued for tonight, but as for Page, maybe Kimberly would rather try the FOURTEEN TIME FOURTEEN TIME FOURTEEN TIME champ. Another week, another big enough match set up before it has the time to build properly.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Unfortunately Shane is at ringside. Malenko and Kidman get things going and head to the mat with Malenko taking over. Dean throws him down and nails a nice dropkick, followed by a leg lariat to send him outside. Now the drama begins as Douglas goes after Kidman but Malenko makes the save. Instead Dean tags Saturn in for a belly to belly, sending Kidman right back to the floor. Douglas and Malenko argue over attacking Kidman again, but Saturn uses the distraction to send Kidman into the steps as we take a break.

Rey comes in but charges into a powerbomb with Saturn adding a top rope cross body for something like a Doomsday Device. Malenko isn’t cool with Saturn coming in off the blind tag though and breaks up the cover.. Mysterio moonsaults onto Saturn’s shoulder and sends him into the buckle, setting up the Bronco Buster but Saturn raises his boot for the stop. Incredibly fast pace so far. A belly to belly gets two for Saturn and it’s back to Malenko.

Rey’s sunset flip goes nowhere and Dean takes his head off with a clothesline. Saturn tags himself back in and Dean isn’t cool with that, allowing Rey to grab a rollup for two. Dean yells so Saturn tags him back in on the chest. A big belly to back gets two for Malenko and it’s back to Saturn for some arrogant walking around in between offense. Saturn hits a spinning springboard forearm to the head for two more before nailing Kidman on the apron.

The always awesome gutbuster from Malenko sets up the Cloverleaf but Saturn tags himself in while the hold is on. Saturn’s top rope elbow scores but Malenko tags himself back in just like Saturn did. A superplex plants Rey but Dean is so shaken up that he has to tag out. Kidman comes back in and cleans house, including throwing Rey into the air for a hurricanrana on Saturn. Everything breaks down and Shane breaks up the Shooting Star, throwing Saturn the chain in the process. A big knockout shot is enough to pin Kidman.

Rating: B-. Fun match with a lot of story development in it, but that doesn’t mean the story development is interesting. I’m really not a fan of having the Revolution implode and fight each other, because it’s going right back to the same idea that we’ve done for years now without anyone getting up the ladder. Benoit is to an extent, but everyone else is just stuck in the midcard while Sid powerbombs people and Rick Steiner exists for reasons that aren’t exactly clear.

Malenko puts the Revolution shirt on, sees the replay of the ending, and takes the shirt back off. He promises to be his own revolution from now on.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Van Hammer

Sid is defending if that wasn’t really clear. He stomps Hammer in the corner and stares at the fans for chanting Goldberg. Granted he stares blankly most of the time so you can’t really tell if he’s upset or not. Hammer trips him down and hits what looked like a low blow. That goes nowhere so Sid chokes away in the corner and slowly kicks again. We get a ref bump so Rick Steiner can come down for a cheap shot on Hammer, setting up a double powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: F. Van Hammer vs. Sid needs a ref bump??? I’m not the biggest Goldberg fan in the world but suggesting he and Sid are the same level is ridiculous. Sid is a fun character but as soon as that bell rings, all the fun goes away and it becomes clear that he should have retired about seven years ago.

Mike Tenay joins the commentary booth to talk about Bret vs. Benoit from last week.

Phantom of the Opera Dustin Rhodes puts his hand on the kid’s window and the kid’s eyes turn black. Of course they do.

Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair

Remember when these two had a great match on Raw six and a half years ago? Well now Virgil is in Hennig’s corner and is named Curly Bill. Hennig dances around to start, earning him a slap in the face and a loud WOO. That’s very violent behavior reminiscent of a father wanting to avenge his son, who tried to destroy his life earlier in the year but that’s beside the point. More chops have Curt in trouble and they head outside. Hennig gets in some shots of his own and scores with a suplex back inside as we take a break.

Back with Flair chopping Curly on the floor. Jack Brisco, Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes, Sting, and CURLY! Hennig chops to take over and slams Flair off the top, but Ric casually takes out the knee and puts on the Figure Four. Hennig is right next to the ropes though so Flair pokes him in the eye and nails a belly to back suplex. Both guys are dazed but it’s Hennig up first and going after Flair’s knee. That goes nowhere though and they trade chops in the corner again with Hennig on the losing end.

Ric snaps Hennig’s neck across the top rope and goes after CURLY again, allowing Hennig to roll him up for two. That doesn’t work so Hennig puts his feet on the ropes for two more. Curly even holds Hennig’s feet for some more near falls. Somehow the referee, who is two feet away from Curly, sees NONE OF THIS. David Flair comes out to take out Curly (for the love of all things good and holy, do not let them have a match), allowing Ric to roll Hennig up for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but you expect more out of these two. Thankfully the Rednecks are becoming Curt and Pals instead of a normal stable, which makes their matches a lot easier to sit through. The Flairs being back together is a bit annoying but I’m much happier with the regular Ric instead of the insane boss.

Total Package/Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit/Bret Hart

Remember when Luger came back to save Sting from the Steiners and a big tag match was teased? Even better, remember their classic at the first SuperBrawl? It’s a brawl to start as I’m assuming Benoit vs. Steiner for the TV Title is happening at the pay per view. Hart beats up Luger on the floor and chases Liz off before sending Lex into the post. Rick has Benoit in trouble back in the ring and cranks on an armbar.

Bret rams Luger into the apron as Benoit grabs the Crossface on Rick, only to have Lex dive in for the save. Naturally Steiner no sells the pain from the hold and suplexes Benoit, but Bret clotheslines both Americans down to take over. Luger puts Bret in a full nelson so Steiner can hammer away but Benoit makes a save. The Swan Dive connects on Steiner but Sid comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Oh yeah Russo is starting to take over. This was your standard big brawl main event disguised as a match that didn’t even get four minutes from bell to bell. This match also exposes a major problem in WCW: the main event heels are horrible. You have Steiner and Sid who can’t do anything and Luger who can only do really basic power stuff, combined with Sting who doesn’t act like a heel whatsoever. Who am I supposed to boo without falling asleep?

Luger racks Bret but Goldberg comes out for the save. Sid tells Goldberg he can’t touch him or the match is off, so Goldberg spears him anyway to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You can really taste the Russo effect, but it’s not in full force yet. This is that weird transition stage where he’s trying to breathe life into the stale angles WCW had going before he arrived and it makes for a very awkward mix. There’s some fresh blood in the stories, but the stories themselves are still pretty uninteresting. The wrestling is also getting worse, which is another sign of the age of Vinny Roo. Things will at least get more interesting once we hit the full Russo effect, but until then we’re in for some dull stuff.

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Thunder
Date: October 7, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Back to this disaster again as it’s we’re still getting close to Halloween Havoc and the question this week is what can Goldberg do to Sid’s car now. Actually the question would be why is this the best they can come up with. Russo and Ferrara aren’t in charge at this point, so this might actually be the last taped event (save for Saturday Night with its insane schedule but who cares about that show at this point?) before they took over. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Dean Malenko vs. Blitzkrieg

Blitzkrieg has new attire. This could be interesting, especially if Malenko stretches him for doing too many ridiculous flips. Malenko easily takes him down to start and they trade some hammerlocks. Dean slaps on a front chancery followed by a quickly broken surfboard. Total wrestling clinic from Malenko so far. Back up again and Blitzkrieg tries to jump over Dean and gets dropped face first onto the mat for his efforts.

Dean stomps away in the corner but Blitzkrieg gets up and does an unnecessary backflip out of the corner, followed by a more necessary running dropkick in the same corner. A moonsault sets up a chinlock on Dean but he pops back up and drives a knee into the masked ribs. Well the ribs of the masked man. No one would put a mask on the ribs, though I have seen a claw onto the ribs.

Dean scores with a suplex for some two counts before cranking on the knee like you would expect from a submission specialist. Can you really call him that when he only uses one hold 95% of the time? He stomps away at the leg before hitting a nice gutbuster for two. Blitzkrieg doesn’t sell the leg so Malenko suplexes him over the top and out to the floor as the announcers talk about the Outsiders on Nitro.

Blitzkrieg sends him into the barricade and hits a big twisting dive over the top for a nice looking crash. Back in and the masked man slips, which is about as good as we’re going to get for selling. Malenko plants him with a top rope belly to back superplex, followed by a quick pinfall reversal sequence. A wicked tiger bomb sets up the Cloverleaf to give Malenko the win.

Rating: C. There’s something so fun about a technician like Malenko throwing around a high flier like Blitzkrieg, especially when it seems like Dean is annoyed at a lot of the no selling of the leg. I mean, the guy can’t even limp a bit before he does the dives? Not a bad match here, but it’s nice to see Dean win whenever he’s not losing to people who don’t deserve the push they’re getting.

We run down the card for Halloween Havoc. That show is going to hurt.

Quick look at Disco Inferno winning the Cruiserweight Title again on Monday.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Evan Karagias

Disco’s entrance is edited out because he wasn’t Cruiserweight Champion when this was taped. The champ cranks on the arm to start but Evan trips him up and works on the arm as well. A pair of dropkicks send Disco to the floor before he comes back in for another armbar. We could have had Psychosis doing some nice dives or Malenko using 37 varieties of an armbar, but instead we get Disco who uses a total of one kind.

Disco’s backdrop is countered with a simple shove to the mat because this match can’t get past second gear. Evan rains down right hands in the corner but gets sent out to the floor. More whips into various steel objects get two for the champ. Now we get to the interesting stretch of the match as Disco suplexes Evan, then suplexes him again, then can’t hit the third attempt.

A double clothesline puts both guys down before Evan gets up with some right hands and a slam. Evan goes to the apron for a springboard cross body for two more, followed by a powerslam for the same. His attempt at a headscissors is countered though and Disco hits the Last Dance to retain.

Rating: D+. The match isn’t bad from a technical standpoint but my goodness Disco isn’t going to work in this spot. Yeah he can have some acceptable matches, but after watching Malenko earlier tonight, it’s really hard to sit through Inferno defending the title against someone like Evan Karagias.

Just to show how dense WCW is, they show Disco’s entrance after the match, showing that he doesn’t have the belt and completely defeating the purpose of not showing it in the first place.

Bret Hart is proud of his match with Benoit on Monday.

Clip of Brad Armstrong telling Berlyn to speak English in America. This is making me long for the days of Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Adams

England is evil now? This would have been a very fun back in say….1987. The fans chant USA as Adams takes him up against the ropes for a cheap shot. They do it again but Armstrong ducks a second cheap shot. Score one for the United States school system. An armdrag sends Adams to the floor before he comes back in to trade wristlocks. Is there a ban on working ANYTHING other than the arm, or did Blitzkrieg’s no selling scare everyone off?

Adams throws him to the floor and stomps away outside. Back in and Adams hits a top rope clothesline, followed by a variety of suplexes. He misses a top rope knee drop but avoids a charge and hits the superkick for two. Brad avoids a charge of his own and hits the Russian (some American hero) legsweep for the pin.

Rating: D. They expect to put Berlyn vs. Brad Armstrong on pay per view and have people pay for it? That’s really the best lower card match they can find? You know who won’t be on the card at Halloween Havoc? Dean Malenko. Dump Berlyn and let Armstrong have a match against Dean if nothing else. No it won’t be the interesting build in the world, but at least the match will be entertaining. Armstrong is still decent in the ring but my goodness they’re not giving him much to work with at the pay per view. Adams is way past his prime here at 44 years old but he still has a decent superkick.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Brian Knobbs

Benoit is defending because Heaven help us if Knobbs ever got a singles title. Brian talks trash on the floor as Jimmy Hart has to tell him to get in the ring. This is like that angle where Bobby Heenan had to give Terry Taylor specific instructions on everything to make him win but without the angle part. He finally gets in and they shove each other a bit before Benoit just fires off right hands, likely at frustration for having to fight someone like Knobbs, and dropkicks him out to the floor.

After about 45 seconds of stalling and not even a single count from the referee, we actually continue the match. Back in and Benoit blocks a charge by raising his boots but runs into a powerslam. Some right hands send Brian back to the floor but he blocks a baseball slide and throws Benoit into the steps. They head into the crowd as referee Nick Patrick argues with Jimmy Hart.

This show seems to be in a ventriloquist convention as the fans sound like they’re going nuts but they appear to just be sitting there. Amazing how Smackdown and Thunder crowds always go that way. They fight up towards the chairs (minus the fans in them) and we take a break. Back with nothing having changed and no reason to believe the referee has even started counting. If you want to have a hardcore match then have a hardcore match. Just say that’s what it is so the fans don’t get confused by the referee’s lack of actions.

They go back to ringside with Benoit being sent into the steps twice in a row. Knobbs chokes a lot and throws a chair at Benoit but the champ wins a slugout and takes it back inside for a nice change of pace. The Swan Dive misses though and Brian covers for two before using his usual lame offense. Knobbs elbows out of a German suplex attempt but Benoit goes into Wolverine mode and hits back to back Germans. Since WE MUST PROTECT BRIAN KNOBBS, Jimmy Hart breaks it up at two and we have a ref bump. Hart accidentally nails his man with the megaphone though, allowing Benoit to hit the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: D+. Benoit is great, but there’s a firm limit to what he’s capable of doing and we found it with this match. Who in the world can carry Brian Knobbs to a ten minute match without the use of weapons for a crutch? This is another case where there had to be someone else capable of having a better match. Even Hugh Morrus would have been miles ahead of Knobbs here, but Morrus isn’t friends with the right people. Who was going to stick around with this show to see Brian Knobbs get a title shot?

Lash Leroux vs. Silver King

King grabs him to start but gets taken down in an armbar. Some right hands and a clothesline have King in trouble but he sees Lash duck his head and takes him down with a tornado DDT for two. In a bad looking botch, Silver King moonsaults onto Lash’s head for another near fall. Thankfully Lash doesn’t seem to badly messed up but that looked scary.

Lash comes back with a headscissors but his hurricanrana is countered into a good looking superbomb. We hit the chinlock but King throws in some gnawing at the head to keep it interesting. Lash fights to his feet and goes up top, only to dive into a right hand to the ribs. After an unnecessary trip to the floor, Lash escapes a powerbomb attempt and hits Whiplash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this was the lower end of the cruiserweight division. Leroux wasn’t bad but he needed to do something besides just be a Cajun. There wasn’t anything to this one other than Silver King’s powerbomb and biting at Lash’s head. Why didn’t Silver King win here again?

Bret still really liked that match on Monday.

Death of Lex Luger video.

Maestro vs. Dale Torborg

Torborg is…..the love child of Sting and Knuckleball Schwartz. Baseball jersey with MVP written on the chest, baseball pants with pinstripes, and red and black facepaint and gloves. There’s no other way to describe him. Maestro armdrags him down a few times before cranking on the arm. That’s not exactly how you want someone who looks like Torborg to have their first match in a new gimmick. Torborg kicks him in the back and drives in some elbows for good measure, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex.

Something like Steve Austin’s flip off elbow gets two for Maestro but a Rock Bottom gives Torborg the quick pin. What an odd match and I’m assuming Maestro is a good guy after the way he was going out there. Just bizarre though as both guys were making their in ring debut (at least in these characters as Torborg had a match on Nitro earlier in the year) and Maestro went from a grand entrance to easily losing a match.

Road report. These aren’t as good without Lee Marshall, and that’s REALLY not saying much.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman vs. Disorderly Conduct

Disorderly Conduct cheat to start (well that certainly is disorderly) and get dropkicked to the floor where the Animals hit stereo dives to take them down. We settle down to Kidman beating up Mike in the ring. Tom comes in and gets the same treatment, meaning Kidman is running out of tricks. He gets a bit more complicated though by headscissorsing Mike and headlocking Tom at the same time.

Rey comes in with a Lionsault for two on Mike before it’s off to Tom who can’t powerbomb Mysterio. Does being Kidman’s partner mean you get to share his powers? Tom finally hits a kind of reverse powerbomb on Mysterio to take over with a lot of stomping keeping him in trouble. An Earthquake style powerslam plants Rey and we take a break. Back with Tom tilt-a-whirl slamming Mysterio for two as the themed jobbers keep up the double teaming. A top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Tom.

Mike distracts the referee so Rey’s small package only gets two so it’s back to the double teaming, including an ax handle to help Mike’s neckbreaker. Off to the chinlockery portion of the match with Tom hooking two of them in a row. That’s quite the feat. Back to Mike for a slam but he misses a top rope elbow. The hot tag brings in Kidman for a BK Bomb to Tom as everything breaks down. Kidman puts Tom up top and launches Rey into the super hurricanrana (that always looks cool) for the pin with Kidman baseball sliding Mike just in case.

Rating: C. Take two power heels and put them against two high flying good guys and you’re almost always guaranteed to have a passable match. This is a formula as old as professional wrestling itself and it will still work to this day. Power vs. speed is one of the most basic matchups you can see and Kidman and Mysterio were as good of a combination as there was at this point.

From Monday, Bret Hart talks about how special that match with Benoit was. You can see how important this really is to him and it’s always good to see Hart a happy man.

US Title: Stevie Ray vs. Sid Vicious

It’s about time Sid defended that thing. Believe it or not, this actually has a story behind it as Sid and Steiner attacked Stevie a few weeks back so Stevie wants revenge. That’s better continuity than WCW has shown in months. Ray jumps him on the apron and clotheslines Sid out to the floor.

A few whips send the champ into the barricade and Stevie slams him down on the floor. I don’t know what’s gotten into Sid recently but this is the second match in a row where he’s actually sold something. Therefore, here’s Rick Steiner to hammer Stevie from behind as referee Charles Robinson stops to tie his shoes. Back in and Sid only gets two off Steiner’s attack so he beats on Stevie to relieve that tension.

Ray comes back with right hands but Steiner trips him up one more time and a legdrop to the back of the head gets two for Sid. We hit the worst chinlock ever (a record Sid breaks twice a week) as Sid LAYS DOWN while barely cranking on Stevie’s neck. Stevie fights up but eats a forearm from Steiner. Somehow he’s able to backdrop his way out of the powerbomb, but the referee stops to tie his shoe for the second time. The Steiner Bulldog and a double powerbomb is enough to make Sid 128-0, after he was 120-0 on Nitro.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s the wrestling version of Stockholm Syndrome, but these Sid disasters are starting to turn into something resembling tolerable. No they’re not good matches or anything really resembling such, but they’re at least they get in and get out without making things too stupid. They have an idea now, even though it doesn’t seem likely to go anywhere.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tricky show to grade as the wrestling wasn’t the worst in the world, but the lack of star power REALLY hurt things. I can tolerate low name guys if the matches are really good, but that just wasn’t the case here. You need someone to invest in and Brad Armstrong just doesn’t fill that role for fighting a German who is more annoying than bad.

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Monday Nitro #208
Date: October 4, 1999
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 6,942
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Halloween Havoc but tonight we take a detour into something that is actually special. Less than five months earlier, Owen Hart passed away in this same arena. His brother Bret wanted to do something special for him, and that’s what we’re getting on this show. Let’s get to it.

The announcers hype up the main events, because those promises have held up so much recently.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Dean Malenko

This starts after a way too early break. Malenko quickly flips Mysterio to the floor and grabs a legbar back inside. Rey pops to his feet and speeds things WAY up for a nice counter sequence, capped off with Malenko throwing him into the air but eating a dropkick on the way back down. A hot shot is countered but Rey bounces backwards into a hurricanrana for two. That was AWESOME and even Malenko has to give Mysterio credit.

To change the subject a bit, Tony casually mentions that Psychosis beat Lenny Lane for the Cruiserweight Title over the weekend. That’s code for “it turns out Turner Broadcasting didn’t like having a shock value gimmick like over the top incestuous brothers on a show with falling ratings”. The title match never happened of course but Psychosis does get to defend tonight against Disco Inferno. Of course since this title means nothing, it’s throw in as a sidebar in this match. You know, the match that COULD BE FOR THE TITLE instead of just being part of the Revolution vs. Filthy Animals feud over absolutely nothing.

Back to the match, Malenko gets two off a German suplex and cranks on the leg. That goes nowhere so Dean is thrown to the floor for a big dive from Rey. They head inside again and Rey loads up the yet to be named West Coast Pop, only to have Malenko catch him in a kind of powerbomb to set up the Cloverleaf.

Ropes are grabs and Mysterio counters tilt-a-whirl slam into a kind of cross body. They get back up and hit a double clothesline but Mysterio sells it more like a Boss Man Slam for an odd looking crash. Cue Shane Douglas with a chain but Saturn runs down and steals it from him. Saturn stares Douglas down with the chain but hits Mysterio instead, allowing Dean, who didn’t seem to see what happened, to put on the Cloverleaf for the win.

Rating: C+. Really good start to the match here until we had to get Shane Douglas involved. It looks like the Revolution is starting to splinter, which makes good enough sense given that they have nothing else going for them. They have yet to recover from that disaster at Fall Brawl so why not just turn them heel from the inside?

Dean sees the replay on the screen and isn’t happy with Saturn.

Tony tells us about the New Year’s Evil pay per view on December 27, which wasn’t on New Year’s, wasn’t on New Year’s Eve, wasn’t evil and never wound up happening.

Video on Bret, talking about Owen and his death.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Psychosis

Tony brings up the hiring of Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara, who will be chatting on WCW.com later this week. And so it begins. By it I mean the bizarre choices, such as allowing fans to talk to writers. Why would fans care about something like that? Picture this back in 1988: “Yes fans this coming Wednesday, you can call in and talk to the booker!”

Psychosis is defending after being awarded the title in a phantom title change over the weekend. The new champ starts fast and knocks Disco out to the floor with a baseball slide, setting up a big dive over the top. Back in and Disco gets a boot up in the corner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two.

You know Disco isn’t smart enough to make that last though and charges into an elbow from Psychosis. Well at least they’re consistent. A top rope hurricanrana gets two for Psychosis but Disco pops back up, only to dive into a spinwheel kick. The guillotine legdrop misses and Disco hits the Chartbuster to win the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. I’ll spare you the obvious question of why they even bothered with Psychosis in the first place and get to the better question of why Disco. He’s still a glorified comedy character whose best matches usually get a response of “you know, he doesn’t suck as much as I thought.” You have Kidman, Guerrera, Mysterio, Malenko and even Psychosis to put the belt on but instead we get someone like Disco.

Oh and just after he wins the title, we IMMEDIATELY cut to an ad for Mayhem.

Sid is on the phone. I smell shenanigans.

The Outsiders come down the stands with drinks in hand. This would be Nash’s first appearance since August and Hall’s first since…..I think March? Heenan asks where they’ve been and Hall says they’ve been at the party down there. Nash is retired, which Hall describes as “working a requirement angle”. They’ll be back and put the band back together once the locker room is fun again. This comes off as more of Russo’s “WE’RE SHOOTING” stuff that is interesting for about five minutes and then turns into a big mess with the fans asking “can’t we just watch wrestling?”

Sid Vicious vs. Brian Adams

Adams is out of the KISS gimmick but still has the Demon pants on. He hammers Sid from behind to start and scores with a suplex. Naturally Sid isn’t going to sell that so Adams clotheslines him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Sid ducks his head, allowing Adams to hit a quick jumping piledriver. Of course Robinson can’t count because Rick Steiner runs out and helps with the beating. Adams fights Sid off and tilt-a-whirl slams Steiner, only to have Sid come back in for a double powerbomb and a fast count. That makes Sid 120-0, though Adams got in WAY more offense than most people do against Sid.

Jerry Flynn vs. Goldberg

During the entrances, we go split screen so Sid can rant about his car. Flynn rakes the eyes to start and is promptly kicked right in the face. A pumphandle slam drops Jerry again as the rest of the First Family comes out for a distraction. Goldberg is knocked outside to get beaten on for a bit (why isn’t this just a three on one handicap match to make this move faster? Oh right: because WCW is stupid enough to put Morrus and Knobbs in the Tag Team Title hunt instead of ANYONE ELSE), including a whip into the steps.

Morrus adds an elbow from the apron and even the referee can’t be bothered to care about these two schmucks. The referee sends them to the back, allowing Goldberg to counter a cross armbreaker and hit the two moves for the win. You know, people remember these two fighting a lot but it really didn’t happen all that often. They only fought four times on Nitro in nearly two years, with a year and a half in between two of them. Goldberg and Morrus had at least three matches so it’s not a huge stretch.

Goldberg promises to destroy Sid.

Brad Armstrong tells Berlyn to speak English, end of scene.

Here’s Harlem Heat for a chat about their upcoming title defense against Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. There’s so much wrong with that idea that I don’t even know where to start. The match is going to be on like a pot of neckbone, but Booker has to stop for a Wolfpack chant. He tells the Outsiders that they’re not getting the belts but the First Family comes out for a brawl. Knobbs hits Booker in the head with a chair and Morrus gets Stevie down for No Laughing Matter. The First Family leaves with the belts. As usual, decent story, completely wrong cast.

Nitro Girls search time. Baltimore can’t get here soon enough.

Goldberg gets in his car and leaves. I’m sure this won’t go badly for Sid whatsoever.

Benoit says he misses Owen and brings up getting his start in Stampede Wrestling. They’re really making this feel special tonight.

Brad Armstrong vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig chops away in the corner but gets hiptossed and dropkicked out to the floor. Back in and Hennig chops the skin off Brad’s chest but walks into a pair of atomic drops. The Rednecks come in but eat right hands, only to have the Germans come out for a distraction. The bodyguard nails Brad in the back of the head, sending him right into the HennigPlex for the pin. It really took FIVE PEOPLE to beat Brad Armstrong? That’s seriously what we’re going with here?

The Germans beat Armstrong up again post match.

Mysterio goes into the showers to get Kidman for his match. Kidman comes out and Torrie Wilson follows him. Rey looks impressed.

Sid gives the attendant his car keys. Why the same attendant works in two different cities isn’t explained.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Here’s another match that could be for the Cruiserweight Title. They trade forearms to start until Kidman suplexes him down for two. A Stunner on the top rope drops Kidman as the announcers talk about Kidman and Torrie in the shower. Kidman suplexes Juvy to the floor and adds a dropkick as he gets back inside. Juvy comes back with a DDT out of a fireman’s carry and drops a People’s Elbow. I had forgotten about the Juvy Rock phase. Juvy says he knows our role as we take a break.

Back with Kidman charging into an elbow but snapping off a powerslam (very common move no matter what size people are) for two. Juvy waves Psychosis down but misses a plancha and takes Psychosis down instead of Kidman. That’s fine with Kidman, who runs to the top and dives onto both guys. This isn’t as good as it sounds though as they’re just doing spots without the energy that made their old matches so good.

Back in again and Kidman dropkicks him out of the air but Juvy counters a powerbomb (double gimmick infringement!) into a Juvy Driver attempt, which is countered into a suplex, which is countered into a bulldog from Guerrera. The 450 misses and Kidman hits a Sky High but has to go after Psychosis again. Cue Mysterio to argue with Psychosis, but the distraction lets Juvy hit the Driver off the top for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was more about advancing the feud between the Animals and the loose stable of luchadors, which isn’t really going anywhere as Psychosis isn’t quite the same level as the other three. Granted he might have gotten closer to that spot had they just let him stay Cruiserweight Champion but that might make too much sense.

Juvy and Psychosis get beaten down post match.

Sid has his assistant park his car in Goldberg’s parking space.

Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

Both are faces here and Benoit’s TV Title isn’t on the line. Harley Race does the intros to make this really special. Bret grabs a headlock to start before they fight over a top wristlock. Hart holds the ropes to avoid a monkey flip but Benoit nips up before Bret can do anything. Very technical so far. Chris bridges out of a test of strength and wraps Bret’s arms across his own throat to get a breather.

A hammerlock has Bret on the mat and the fans chant for Owen. Off to a double arm crank on Hart but Bret reverses into one of his own. Thankfully Bret is actually holding Chris’ wrists unlike Scott Hall who would be keeping himself in the hold whenever that was reversed. Benoit flips out with a dropkick to the chest but gets caught in a Russian legsweep to put him down again.

We hit the chinlock from Hart followed by a hard knee to the ribs to drop Chris one more time. A DDT sets up the middle rope elbow for two for Hart but Benoit grabs a rollup for two. He doesn’t let go of the legs though and turns it into a Boston crab. Bret is quickly in the ropes but gets caught in a backbreaker for two as we take a break.

Back with Benoit getting two off something we didn’t see but Bret comes back with the headbutt to the lower abdomen. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock by the Hitman as things settle down a bit. Another backbreaker puts Benoit on the mat and Bret rams him into the apron. Back in and Benoit spins out of another backbreaker and hits a jumping tombstone for two. A northern lights suplex gets another two for Chris and he fires off the headbutts.

Benoit stomps away in the corner but Bret holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick and a few elbows get two. Bret charges but his cross body hits the ropes to send him outside. Chris hits a big dive through the ropes to put both guys down and we take our second break. Back again with both guys rolling each other up for two followed by Bret stomping away in the corner. They trade rollups for two each again until Bret nails a swinging neckbreaker.

A superplex puts Benoit down but he counters the Sharpshooter into the Crossface but Bret is right next to the ropes. Chris rolls some vertical suplexes and calls for the Swan Dive. He goes to the furthest corner and nails the headbutt for a slightly delayed two. The fans chant for Bret and he comes back with an elbow to the jaw. A piledriver gets two on Benoit as he puts his foot on the ropes.

Benoit gets to do Bret’s chest first bump into the corner but comes out with some hard chops. Bret tries a clothesline but gets caught in the Rolling Germans. The Crossface is blocked and they go to the mat with Bret maneuvering his legs so that he stands up in the Sharpshooter. The fans freak out over that awesome trap by Bret and Benoit has to give up.

Rating: A. This was an excellent wrestling match. Bret worked over the back to set up the Sharpshooter and Benoit tried everything he knew but at the end of the day it was Bret winning with a counter to Benoit’s best hold and a very smooth move into the Sharpshooter. That’s exactly what it was supposed to be and it was more than an awesome match. The crowd respected it too. This is the last great match that WCW had and the last time Bret was actually motivated in a wrestling ring. If you haven’t seen this one before, go check it out to see what great wrestling can do.

Race gets in the ring and everyone hugs and poses before walking out together.

Gene calls out Flair and Hogan, who thankfully come out one at a time. Hogan has to limp down because of the knee injury from last week. They praise each other and my stomach is starting to churn. Hogan says Flair is the best of all time and Flair wants to join Hulkamania. Tonight, Hogan wants to see Flair style and profile. It’s a bad sign when modern day TNA pays better attention to character development and history than this company does.

Sid is in the empty parking space. “I’ve got him now.”

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell mocks Page’s catchphrases to start, saying he’s going to two time, two time, two time beat Page down. Page charges right into a clothesline to start and gets dropkicked out to the floor. Back in and Page can’t hook a powerbomb but does kick Buff low to take over again. A low elbow sets up a stomping in the corner and we hit the chinlock. With his offense running low, Bagwell lands another clothesline and his swinging neckbreaker. Page avoids the Blockbuster though and floats over Bagwell into the Diamond Cutter for the fast pin.

A kid is looking at a window when a horse flies up. Dustin Rhodes is dressed all in black and that’s it.

Hulk Hogan/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package

Tony even has to acknowledge the fans cheering for Sting. Hogan has a big brace on his knee but is fine from last week’s attack otherwise. It’s a brawl to start with Sting and Hogan heading outside while the others fight inside. Hogan is whipped into the barricade as Luger and Flair fight outside.

Tony keeps calling Total Package Luger because it’s such a stupid name change. I can’t even say gimmick change because it’s literally the same guy with a different name. Things settle down with Sting stomping on Flair in the corner but missing a dropkick. As usual, there’s nothing about Sting that would make you think he’s a heel. Sting slams him off the top and it’s off to Luger for a powerslam.

Back to Sting for a chinlock as the fans chant for Hogan. Notice how he keeps moving around on the apron. This is something the bigger stars usually do and you can see Cena do it today. You can do so much to keep a crowd into things while standing on the apron. Pace up and down, reach for tags, shout encouragement. Let the fans know that you CARE about what’s going on at the moment.

Luger prevents a tag to Hogan and Sting gorilla presses Flair down again. A running splash hits knees though and it’s finally off to Hogan. We go old school with right hands and a double noggin knocker, followed by a double clothesline to put both villains down. Page runs in and gets sent into Luger, who blindly Racks him. Hogan hits the big boot and legdrop to pin Sting. Seeing him hug Flair is just wrong on so many levels.

Rating: D+. Standard main event tag here with the champ getting pinned to add to the pay per view match’s build. This is wrestling booking 101, but it’s still really uninteresting stuff. Seeing these four guys fighting while I could be watching the rise of HHH and Rock near or at his peak and the tag teams tearing the house down really doesn’t appeal to me and that seemed to be the opinion of the masses.

Sid goes to his parking space and finds his car crushed into a metal block. If this is supposed to make me watch the match, go back to Charles Robinson needing counting lessons.

Overall Rating: B. By far and away the best show they’ve had in a long time, though most of that is due to the awesome Bret vs. Benoit match. The rest of the show certainly isn’t bad though as a lot of the bad matches were kept short. The Sid vs. Goldberg battle of the garage stuff is getting REALLY old just two weeks in. I’m actually not sure how Sid’s plan made sense and I assure you it wasn’t much clearer on screen. I guess it was supposed to be Goldberg’s car but someone made a switch? This shouldn’t be so complicated. Anyway, best show in months if not years here, but it feels like a one off improvement.

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Thunder
Date: September 30, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Thankfully this is another live Thunder (well liveish. It’s airing at about 11pm due to a baseball game but at least it’s not the second show of a taping) which tends to be a lot easier to sit through (not good mind you) than the dreaded taped versions. It’s still about the old guys fighting over backstabbing and lying or Goldberg crushing Sid’s car because Sid is still a major thing in WCW for whatever reason. Let’s get to it.

Long intro to start with Tenay and Zbyszko talking about people who won’t be appearing on this show.

Psychosis/La Parka/Juventud Guerrera vs. Villano IV/Villano V/Silver King

This is Psychosis’ first match since losing the mask. La Parka tells Silver King to get out of his way so dance time but King channels his inner villain from Footloose and kicks him in the face. An elbow to the jaw staggers La Parka again but Silver King accidentally hits his partners, causing a bit of a flare up. It’s off to IV and Psychosis with the unmasked one scoring with a dropkick.

There’s no other way to put this: Psychosis has a weird face. It looks like it needs to be stretched another few inches to make it fit properly. Anyway he rolls out of a tilt-a-whirl slam and chops away at IV before whipping him into a springboard dropkick from Guerrera. A powerslam gets two for Juvy before it’s off to V for a dropkick. Not exactly the most thrilling stuff at the moment.

King comes back in and grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Psychosis before just kicking him in the face. Back to Five for a pretty sweet top rope DDT before King comes back in for the same, only not from the top. A double gutbuster has Psychosis in even more trouble but La Parka comes in to take one of them out.

Everything breaks down and La Parka hits a nice corkscrew dive over the top to take out the Villanos and Juvy, leaving King to lay out Psychosis in the ring. The Villanos come back in and accidentally nail King (never hire villains to do a partner’s job), allowing La Parka to take out IV. Juvy Driver to V, setting up the guillotine legdrop from Psychosis for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, the Villanos and Silver King aren’t the most thrilling guys in the world. It’s amazing how far Guerrera has fallen in quality as he used to be right there with Kidman and Mysterio but now he’s just kind of there. The division has fallen on hard times since Mysterio forgot he was a cruiserweight and started hanging out with Konnan.

Adrian Byrd vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley easily wrestles him down to start but walks into a dropkick. A right hand just gets on Norman’s nerves so he hits the spinning slam and loads up his dance. Not the Big Wiggle but it’s better than nothing. There’s something hilarious about that move and I think it’s due to Norman’s face as he does it.

Byrd comes back with a series of punches and counters a monkey flip attempt with a cradle for two. A suplex and slam get two each on Norman and we hit the chinlock. This is more offense than I was expecting from Byrd boy. Smiley easily fights up and hits a nice butterfly suplex, followed by the Norman’s Conquest for the win.

Rating: D+. Much like most matches like this one I’m not sure what there is to say about it. Smiley got beaten up for a bit and then came back with some implied male rape involved. I could have gone for a bigger push for Norman as he was clearly over and talented but he got stuck in the stupid hardcore thing soon after this.

Gene brings out Mona for a chat. He praises her for her record in WCW, which is something like 5-1 or so. Mona brings up all the people she’s fought and is looking forward to new competition. Yeah there were some shenanigans last week, but you have to just keep going. Brandi Alexander sneaks up on her and chokes Mona with a gown. A suplex on the floor sets up a match that was scheduled for later in the night.

Mona vs. Brandi Alexander

Mona is a bit shaken up but gets an early two off a cross body. A jawbreaker drops her though and the fans aren’t thrilled. Brandi takes Mona’s glove off for more choking, followed by some hair pulling. Apparently there are some new matches for Halloween Havoc. We won’t be hearing what they are at the moment, but those matches have indeed been set up. Brandi kicks her in the ribs before choking and kicking at the ribs even more. I can see why she isn’t exactly a household name.

A bad looking backslide gets two for Mona and she gets poked in the eye to put her right back down. To give you an idea of her offensive skills, Brandi gets two off a suplex and hiptoss. Brandi misses an enziguri but Mona can’t get an Indian deathlock. She can however hit a Thesz press and right hands before a side slam gets two. Mona was even nice enough to get off of her before Brandi rolled her shoulder up. A handspring elbow crushes Alexander in the corner, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin.

Rating: D+. Brandi is just not very good. It also doesn’t help that she isn’t the best looking woman in the world and when you had Trish Stratus debuting in the WWF a few months after this, there really was no reason for this division to exist. I use the word division loosely as I don’t think there are more than three or four girls in the company at the moment.

Ad for Flair and Hogan VHS’s.

Dean Roll vs. Frankie Lancaster

You probably know Roll better as Shark Boy. Feeling out process to start with Frankie nailing a shoulder and grabbing a headlock. Frankie easily takes him down and cranks on the leg before hitting a flip splash to the knee. A legdrop gets two on Dean but here’s Scott Norton to beat up both guys for the no contest.

Norton wants Goldberg and apparently we’ve flashed back to 1998.

After a break, Goldberg comes out to accept the challenge and tells Sid that the clock is ticking. Somehow this took nearly three minutes.

Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal

Finlay is here with the Brits. Regal hammers on Morrus to start and fires off some European uppercuts. Off to Knobbs for the Pit Stop and Regal’s face is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in years. Taylor comes in due to Regal’s stomach ailments but eats a bunch of headbutts from Knobbs. Dave gets a Pit Stop of his own which ticks him off so much that he stops a charging Knobbs with a boot in the corner. Finlay tries to swing a chair at Knobbs but gets cut off by security and ejected. Well there goes the best part of the match.

The distraction lets Taylor get in a flag shot to Knobbs before sending him into the steps. Regal gets in some knee lifts before Taylor slaps on a front facelock. The Brits keep up the fast tags and Taylor hammers away with uppercuts and right hands in the corner. A chinlock has Knobbs in trouble but Regal runs into an elbow in the corner. The hot tag brings in Morrus (are the First Family the faces here?) and everything breaks down. Knobbs hits a kind of pumphandle slam on Taylor, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who was I supposed to be cheering for in this match? The First Family has never shown any reason for me to like them but they were certainly acting like the faces in this match. Then again, Knobbs is WCW’s definition of a legend and therefore I’m sure we’re supposed to cheer for them.

Here’s the Revolution to talk about Shane cheating recently. Saturn tells Douglas that this team lives by a code of ethics and if he tries that one more time then he’s out of the group. Douglas apologizes and says you can’t stop greatness.

Bobby Eaton vs. Luther Biggs

They bring someone as good as Eaton back for THIS? Luther is Coach Buzz Sawyer’s protege if you’ve blocked this out of your memory. Biggs throws him out of the corner to start and drop toeholds him down into a headlock. Back up and Bobby hiptosses him to the floor so Stern can give him a pep talk. Back in and Biggs gets in a knee to the ribs to take over again but takes WAY too long going to the middle rope for a legdrop. Eaton hammers away but gets dropped by a shoulder. The coach and student start jawing though, allowing Bobby to ram them together and grab a quick neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: F. THAT’S what I sat through all those stupid promos for? A four minute match with Bobby Eaton getting the pin? Eaton is a great guy but was there any real need for this match to take place? Biggs is a stupid character and Sawyer isn’t much better. Bad match, bad idea, bad execution, bad use of someone as good as Eaton.

Stern dives in post match, which makes me think he missed a cue. Stern puts both of them in a full nelson and yells at Biggs as they leave.

Brad Armstrong vs. Horace Hogan

I can easily live with people like Eaton and Armstrong getting more TV time, but could they be against each other instead of in these matches? Brad takes Horace down with ease but gets thrown across the ring and kicked in the gut. An armbar doesn’t get Brad anywhere as Horace kicks him down again, only to miss a running elbow. Brad hammers away in the corner and dropkicks him out to the floor.

That goes nowhere so Horace goes back to just kicking him before throwing Brad outside. Tenay actually brings up one of the matches at Halloween Havoc: Hart vs. Luger. Oh sorry I mean the Total Package, who is totally different from the Total Package Lex Luger. Horace keeps up the bad offense and drops Armstrong with a clothesline. A suplex gets two on Brad but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Russian legsweep for the pin.

Rating: D. Geez how did they manage to make Brad Armstrong and Bobby Eaton boring in the same night? Horace is just a big lug who doesn’t get anywhere and this really didn’t make me want to see Armstrong vs. Berlyn. Then again, offering me a million bucks to sit through that match wouldn’t make me want to see it. I’d do it of course but I wouldn’t want to.

Kendall Windham/Curly Bill vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

Oh come on now. Rey and Kendall get things going with Mysterio hammering away but diving into a boot to the face. A springboard seated senton gets two on Windham but he comes back with a kick to the ribs and slam to put Rey back down. Kendall hits a few clotheslines and slams him down one more time before getting two off a belly to back suplex.

Off to Curly (see it’s funny because he’s bald) for a suplex and some elbow drops and a suplex before he throws Rey outside. Back in with Rey hitting a springboard missile dropkick and making the tag to Kidman, who is promptly nailed by a clothesline from Windham. A belly to back superplex gets two on Kidman with Rey making the save and it’s back to the floor because the heels don’t know how to keep a match going for more than fifteen seconds.

Hennig gets in some cheap shots before throwing him back inside for chops from Kendall. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Kidman fights up with a jawbreaker and Bodog, setting up the double tag. Rey cleans house and Kidman just stops running to counter an Irish whip. So you can’t Irish whip Kidman either? Kidman launches Rey into a seated senton to Kendall before Curly gets in some cheap shots. He goes up top for no other reason than to have Rey nail him and hook a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin, just like in the women’s match.

Rating: D. Egads just disband the cowboys already. Without Hennig or Barry in there to run things, the team is exposed for the horrible workers they are and that’s never a good thing. Bad match here with Kidman and Rey being wasted on another horrible team, though to be fair they’re still light years ahead of the Clowns.

Goldberg vs. Scott Norton

Norton still has an NWO logo on his singlet. Goldberg wins a slugout to start and punches him over the top rope. They hammer on each other again with Norton chopping him backwards and sending Goldberg face first into the post. Goldberg sends him right back into the post before they get back in the ring to keep hitting each other very hard. A hard short arm clothesline drops Goldberg again but both guys try flying shoulders at the same time for an awkward looking collision. Back up and it’s spear into Jackhammer for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was Norton’s last match in WCW and I can’t say I’m going to miss him. It’s just a bunch of power brawling with limited selling and you can only sacrifice small people to him to set up another Goldberg loss so many times. Basically he’s a short version of Sid with a bigger chest and no one needs another Sid.

Overall Rating: F. Did I mention this show was on around midnight and WCW knew no one was going to watch it? The wrestlers clearly didn’t care and it’s very telling how bad these stories are as we head into Halloween Havoc. It’s also incredibly clear that this is the most top loaded company in a long time as outside of the main event, there is NOTHING interesting going on right now, and the main event is some of the dullest stuff in years. Bad show that didn’t need to exist, which is the case with almost every episode of this show.

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Monday Nitro #207
Date: September 27, 1999
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 11,919
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to continue into this downward spiral that Nitro has become. Tonight they have a major six man tag with Hogan/Hart/Flair teaming up to face Luger/Sting/Page. Keep that in mind. This is one of the few times that the show has set up a major match a week in advance and actually hyped it up. I’ll come back to that later. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan arriving in a limo to sign autographs for fans. Sting sneaks up on him and speaks in a kid’s voice for a distraction. Hogan, ever the genius, falls for it and gets hit in the knee with the ball bat. They’re changing the main event aren’t they?

Quick recap of last week’s major events.

The announcers preview the show and oh man Heenan does not sound good. This could be a long night.

Tenay tries to talk to Hogan but Hulk gets inside anyway.

Sting says he isn’t done with Hogan tonight.

Before the first match, Heenan goes on a RANT, ripping into WCW for being a mess and telling him how to talk. From now on the Brain is back and he isn’t putting up with this nonsense. That’s quite out of nowhere.

TV Title: Ernest Miller vs. Chris Benoit

The ring looks WAY bigger tonight for some reason. Like bigger than a modern WWE ring. Cat is challenging after asking for a title shot and doing his usual schtick. Benoit chops away to start and Miller immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Chris misses a charge into the corner and things slow down. Miller has “Godfather” on his tights. I would make a joke about that being a lawsuit but it probably was at this point. More kicking and choking ensues as Miller is rapidly running out of offense to go through. A sunset flip gets two for the champ but he walks into another superkick.

For a change of pace, Sonny gets in some kicks on the floor. The lack of Revolution backup tells you all you need to know about Miller and Onoo’s standings. Back in and Benoit ducks the Feliner and scores with a clothesline, only to have Sonny try a choke. Even the referee doesn’t think enough of Miller to make it a DQ. Miller’s loaded shoe kicks Onoo by mistake and it’s the German suplex followed by the Swan Dive and Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: D+. It’s nice to see Benoit get a win and for the TV Title to be defended as it was intended to be for years. Miller losing is always a fun thing to see, which really does make him decent as a heel. Yeah he’s annoying and limited in the ring, but the point of a heel is to see them get what’s coming to them, and that’s what you saw here. Nothing great but an acceptable match that the fans could get into.

Sid has chokeslammed and powerbombed a lot of people.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

Thank goodness the Clowns are gone. Buff, now minus the mustache, takes a kick to the face early on and Vampiro stomps away a lot. In the vein of Ernest Miller, Vampiro goes up top for a kick this time to really vary up his offense. Bagwell finally starts going with a monkey flip before nailing him with a clothesline. Vampiro’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb and they head outside with Vampiro sending him into the steps.

A chinlock goes nowhere as Heenan rips into Bagwell for the new facial hair. Buff fights up but walks into the Nail in the Coffin, which is just a regular move now. Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop and Buff starts his comeback, only to walk into an enziguri. They head to the corner for a superplex but Buff shoves him off and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. So NOW Buff’s face push starts and will take him up the card right?

Rating: D. These lower midcard matches are death for Nitro. There’s no reason for them to be taking place, they don’t go anywhere, and the best part about them are Heenan’s rants about how stupid so much of this stuff is. That being said, I’ll take this a hundred times in a row over the Clowns in the ring again.

The announcers talk about Goldberg for a bit and we hear a voice (which sounds quite a bit like Dustin Rhodes) call out to Tony. There’s a window shown and the voice says the darkness is coming. Well if the best it can do is go after Tony Schiavone, it won’t be lasting long.

And now, to a funeral parlor for the funeral of Lex Luger. As in the guy in the main event tonight. He’s laying in a casket but his ghost appears to describe himself as a great man and a great champion. We cut to a cemetery and a woman in black, presumably Elizabeth, throws flowers into a grave. It’s off to the arena with the woman in black being revealed as Elizabeth of course. She comes to the ring to reveal Lex Luger, who is officially renamed as the Total Package. Same guy and the same gear, but now he doesn’t have wrist tape. Literally, identical other than the tape.

Hogan is having his knee looked at when Sting comes in and nails him with the bat again.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Douglas tells Dean to take care of this guy but Dean doesn’t want “his kind of help”. Saturn and Benoit are cool with this decision and leave but Shane gives a look that says “well screw you then.” Mysterio sends the Animals to the back and we get a one on one match. They start fast as you would expect by trading shoulders and armdrags into a standoff for one of the best exchanges WCW has had in months.

Malenko is sent to the apron and they head up top for a crash out to the floor. Back in and Rey escapes a reverse suplex into a rollup for two but his springboard hurricanrana attempt is countered in a big sitout powerbomb. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and the Cloverleaf goes on, but we need to watch Rick Steiner and Sid arrive. Mysterio gets to the ropes and grabs a crucifix for the fast pin before Sid can come out and ruin another good match.

Rating: B-. Of course this match doesn’t get any time because we need to see Hogan getting hit in the knee again because once wasn’t enough. Again, when you just have the talented wrestlers wrestling, the show gets so much easier to sit through. I could have watched another ten minutes of this but that’s simply not allowed in WCW.

Malenko shakes his hand post match and leaves as a good sport.

Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Time for an anniversary match. After the full on entrance, Goldberg busts out a very good looking dropkick and a superkick to send Morrus out to the floor. A hard whip sends Morrus into the steps and Goldberg takes him back inside for a powerslam. Heenan continues to be a huge Goldberg fan, even now that the filter is off. Jimmy tries to offer a distraction and Hugh sends Goldberg outside, allowing Sid to sneak in for a chair shot to the back.

A top rope elbow gets two for Morrus but he’s a bit shaken up from the impact. Stomping and choking ensues as Goldberg’s leg is bleeding. Morrus slams Goldberg to quickly stop a comeback bid and loads up No Laughing Matter. In a repeat of Goldberg’s first match, he kicks out at two and hits the usual for the pin.

Rating: C. This was far better than I was expecting, even though it wasn’t all that great of a match. The Sid stuff is already old but at least they’re pointing at something instead of just having him beat up random luchadors. Morrus was good for a decent match when he needed to pull one off, which is why he wound up with his upcoming punny name.

Goldberg wants Sid.

An ambulance leaves the arena, presumably with Hogan inside.

More Nitro Girls Search stuff with good looking women who still aren’t Stacy Keibler.

Evan Karagias vs. Berlyn

Penzer reminds us that the fans are not to make any noise during Berlyn’s match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in Tony’s ear as he points out that demanding something means Berlyn doesn’t get what he wants. Berlyn hammers away in the corner but Evan comes back with some generic cruiserweight style offense.

The evil German hides away but pokes Evan in the eye and slugs him down even more. A running knee and nice overhead belly to belly have Karagias in trouble but he’s still able to crotch Berlyn on the top. Evan hits a high cross body for two as the announcers keep focusing on the bodyguard. Said bodyguard nails Evan in the back, allowing his boss to get the win with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D. Berlyn is going absolutely nowhere and it’s pretty clear that they’re shifting the focus over to the bodyguard instead. I can’t say I blame them as he at least has an intimidating look and could cause some damage. Other than that though, there isn’t much to get fired up about for either guy as Berlyn is just horribly boring in the ring.

Berlyn goes after Evan again post match but Brad Armstrong makes the save, only to get beaten down as well. I like Armstrong, but he’s the clearest sign possible that Berlyn is done.

Goldberg breaks into Sid’s locker room and steals his keys from an attendant.

David Flair can’t find Torrie.

Tag Team Titles; Harlem Heat vs. Kendall Windham/Barry Windham

The Windhams are challenging for Heaven knows what reason. Tony continues to screw up continuity by saying Booker was a multi sport athlete in high school. This goes against Tenay’s often repeated line about Booker only being in the marching band. Somehow I have a feeling I’m the only person to pick up on that. Booker superkicks Kendall to start and hammers him down with ease. It’s almost like one guy is a Hall of Famer and the other guy is there because he has a famous brother.

Off to Barry vs. Stevie with the latter in control as we take an early break. Back with Hennig working over Booker on the floor before throwing him in for a beating from Kendall. A DDT drops Booker and everything quickly breaks down. In the melee, Stevie hits Kendall in the knee with a title belt behind Booker’s back, giving T. the pin.

Rating: D+. These teams have fought so many times that there’s nothing left for them to do. As I’ve said before, there are so many teams around WCW but this is the only combination we ever get. A simple change of pace on the booking staff could do wonders for this company, which we’re inching towards every single day. Whether that’s a good thing or not is yet to be determined.

Goldberg calls a towing company. Your top star of the future ladies and gentlemen.

Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

This was supposed to be Hammer getting a US Title shot but Sid must be afraid of vengeance from Slamboree 1993. Rick Steinerlines him to the floor and Rick laughs as he beats the tar out of Hammer. Back in and Hammer keeps getting beaten up before grabbing a quick Flashback for his first offense. Charles Robinson breaks up the cobra clutch slam because Heaven forbid Rick Steiner have to look bad for more than ten seconds. Steiner tells Robinson to look the other way so he can kick Hammer low, setting up the Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: F. So in other words, WCW built up a match (kind of) for the US Title but instead of giving us something that might involve a new guy getting into the title picture, we got ANOTHER Rick Steiner squash that no one wants to see. What in the world does anyone see in this guy that makes them want to push him down our throats as more and more people change the channel?

Here’s Bret for a chat. He got hit by a ball bat a few weeks ago but he’s just a little banged up. He’s back in the ring and thinks Hulk Hogan is the Elvis of wrestling. Seriously? I don’t really disagree with the statement but it’s not something Bret would ever say. Cue Flair, who Bret immediately praises as well. That’s not quite as much of a stretch but still doesn’t fit. Flair says they need to take care of Sting/Luger/Page tonight and takes off the jacket to pose. He’ll ride Liz too if she gets involved. I can’t say I blame him after how she looked earlier.

Heenan talks about the mask vs. hair match tonight and says no one cares if Kidman is bald.

Torrie is in the Filthy Animals’ locker room when David calls her. He doesn’t like the other male voices and hangs up. Dude, you had her for like six months. Go out on that high note because you knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

Sid is told Goldberg stole his car keys.

Perry Saturn vs. Konnan

Konnan hiptosses him down but gets caught in an armbar for his efforts. A superkick staggers Konnan but he blocks a suplex attempt. That’s some of the hardest work I’ve seen Konnan do in years. The rolling clothesline is countered into a Tazzplex and it’s back to the armbar, sending Konnan into the ropes. Who would think a match between two bald guys could be this watchable? Back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down as we take a break.

We come back with Saturn cranking on the arm again, sending Konnan right back to the ropes. A top rope elbow gets two for Saturn but Konnan grabs a powerbomb out of nowhere for the same. They head back to the corner with Konnan hitting something like a reverse Razor’s Edge, setting up his usual finishing sequence. Cue a bunch of luchadors and the Filthy Animals for a big brawl to throw the match out.

Rating: C+. The match was far better than I was expecting but the run-in finish hurt things as usual. Who would have thought Konnan could keep up with someone like Saturn though? That’s quite the surprise and a flashback to when Konnan actually could work a decent match. I’d assume this ties into the mask vs. hair match later but given that it’s WCW I doubt they’ve thought it that far through.

Sid goes to his car but doesn’t find the keys. He heads back inside as the tow truck arrives.

Post break, the tow truck pulls the car away.

Here’s Page for a chat. Page says he’s married to the most beautiful woman in the world and that’s why the people hate him. He mentions Luger being gone and the Total Package taking his place, only to call him Luger a few seconds later.

Various celebrities are here, including one of the members of ZZ Top.

Quick recap of Psychosis vs. Kidman in the mask vs. hair match which was thrown together by Chavo Guerrero.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

Hair vs. mask and Psychosis has Juventud and Chavo in his corner. Psychosis hammers away on him to start and they’re quickly on the floor. The outside stuff goes nowhere so they head back inside where Kidman scores with dropkicks. Psychosis sends him right back outside for a slingshot moonsault but Kidman goes for his mask. That’s not the nicest thing in the world to do and pretty out of character for Kidman.

The referee yells at him, allowing Psychosis to get two off a DDT. A dropkick to the side of the head has Kidman in even more trouble and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. The other luchadors get in some cheap shots on Kidman on the floor, setting up a top rope spinwheel kick for another two count. Kidman misses a dropkick but grabs a quick sunset flip. They head to the corner with Psychosis hitting a sitout gordbuster to drop Kidman again but we still don’t have a bald guy yet.

Kidman comes back with a powerslam and loads up the Shooting Star, only to have Juventud pulls Psychosis to the floor. Chavo plants Kidman with a tornado DDT for two and Juvy sneaks in with a Juvy Driver for an even closer two. Psychosis is so stunned that he thinks he can powerbomb Kidman. The Filthy Animals come out to take care of the luchadors, allowing the Shooting Star to get rid of the mask and blow the roof off the place. That’s kind of a surprising reaction.

Rating: B+. Again, give two talented guys ten minutes to work and let them fly all over the ring before soaking in a great reaction from the crowd. This will of course be followed by the fans not caring about the main event because of whatever reason you care to pick for this show. This was a really fun and fast paced match though with some great near falls.

Kidman quickly rips the mask off and there’s a huge brawl.

Sting, Luger and Page are coming to the ring. Luger stops dead and starts chuckling until Page says the red light is still on and Luger keeps walking. Just……yeah.

Bret Hart/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package/Diamond Dallas Page

Because this show clearly has enough power to pull a bait and switch. Sting shoulders Flair down to start before hitting a gorilla press. Just like last week, if you watched this match as a stand alone, you would never know Sting had recently turned. Flair avoids a Stinger Splash so it’s off to Luger vs. Hart. The Canadian takes over as Heenan makes more jokes that don’t make sense.

Bret starts up the Five Moves but Page breaks up the Sharpshooter before it can do much. Everything breaks down for a bit with Sting nailing a running clothesline. Tony brings up Liz sending an official memo to the announcers, forbidding them from calling her man Luger. It’s a shame he doesn’t bring up Bret injuring all three guys last year because that might make things more interesting.

Luger chokes Bret in the corner before Sting draws in Flair, allowing Hart to get double teamed. A double clothesline puts Sting and Hart down and it’s a hot tag to bring in Flair. It quickly settles down to Flair suplexing Sting and going for the leg. Hart takes out Page and Luger but Kimberly sneaks Luger the ball bat which nails Flair for the DQ.

Rating: D. Totally standard tag match which wasn’t even advertised because WCW is so much better than WWF about giving what they advertise. Remember when that was Tony’s big talking point every week? Nothing to see here as this was more running around in circles before the “money” matches at the pay per view. Just more dull stuff here that didn’t advance anything.

David Flair runs in and gets beaten down. We cut to the back where we see an empty ambulance and Hogan limps out as his partners and David are destroyed. Hogan cleans house, gets the bat, and sends the villains running. Screw off WCW. Seriously, it’s 1999 and Hogan is still destroying everyone while Flair and Hart look like mere mortals. Was there ANY reason to not have Hogan in this match?

Sid goes to his car…..and it’s been completely crushed. He shouts for Goldberg as we go off the air and I shout about why Sid was actually in the arena despite having nothing to do tonight.

Overall Rating: C. There are some very good moments on this show but the bad ones drag it back down to reality. The same problems continue to plague this show: a main event with no heat and Goldberg being wasted on a feud people don’t really want to see while Rick Steiner suddenly has match making power and gets to pick who he beats up in the ring without ever selling for more than five seconds. Two of the three big matches being changed didn’t help either, which brings me back to something I brought up at the beginning.

So with the big main event match announced in advance, here are the final ratings for the shows this week. Monday Night Raw: 6.8. Monday Nitro: 3.0. To put this in perspective, back on Christmas night 1995, Raw only beat Nitro by 2.5. On that night, Nitro wasn’t on television. From what I can tell, this is the second largest margin when both shows were on in their regular time slots in the entirety of the Wars so far. Of note, the only time that beat it was built around the return of Hulk Hogan. Somehow, neither week taught WCW a thing and that’s a bit reason why you don’t see Nitro every Monday night.

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Thunder
Date: September 23, 1999
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 3,782
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We’re coming off a very welcome week break from this show due to a hurricane last week. This past Monday’s show was more of the same from WCW as the company made sure the young and hard working guys were stuck on the other side of the show from the main event stars, who had to be there to draw the audience. Let’s get to it.

After the usual opening from the announcers, we look at Chavo putting Psychosis in a hair vs. mask match against Kidman on Monday.

Lodi vs. Kidman

After a hug with his brother/I don’t really want to know what else, Lodi fires off some knees into the ribs. A drop toehold puts Kidman down and Lodi gets in a quick spank for some alleged comedy. That earns Lodi a dropkick in the face and a clothesline to the floor, setting up a big dive onto both blonds. Lenny offers a distraction and Lodi takes over with a legdrop and a suplex for two. A bulldog gets the same after a failed Kidman comeback attempt and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Kidman is sent outside for a brawl with the champ. Lodi actually dives onto both of them to take over again (was he ever out of control? Well maybe back in the Flock days). Back in and Kidman hits his Bodog and does the usual to escape a powerbomb. Lodi is no Lenny it seems. Lenny offers yet another distraction to break up the Shooting Star, drawing out Eddie Guerrero to take care of him. This brings out Chavo to talk trash and then leave. Ok then. Lenny gets on the apron but Kidman whips Lodi into him, setting up the BK Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but that’s almost always the case with the Lodi matches. That being said, it’s very refreshing to actually get to the end of a match instead of just seeing Sid come down to do the same thing every single week and often times in the same show. Lenny is getting up a pretty big set of challengers to go after the belt and I’m getting into his title reign.

Harlem Heat is shown walking in the back but they turn a corner and brawling noises are heard. Sid and Steiner walk around the same corner from the other way.

We see Sid and Goldberg yelling at each other from Nitro.

Tenay (not Gene for some reason) calls out Harlem Heat but only gets Booker. Apparently Stevie is on his way to the hospital as Sid and Steiner gave Stevie a bump on the head. That’s quite the speedy ambulance. Anyway, Booker wants Sid tonight to prove that this winning streak is a fraud.

Brandi Alexander vs. Mona

A lot of posing delays the start of the match as Tenay tells us to go on the World Wide Web for more information on the WCW Mayhem video game. Mona gets taken down in a test of strenght about a minute after the bell. They roll into a quick pinfall reversal sequence until Mona gets caught in a wristlock.

A dropkick puts Brandi on the floor but she pulls the blonde outside for a clothesline. Back in and Brandi stomps away before posing some more. She gets two off a gutwrench suplex but Mona backflips into a headscissors followed by some forearms to the jaw. Not that it matters as Brandi counters a monkey flip and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin. Uh….upset?

Rating: C-. The match was acceptable but these stand alone matches can only get them so far. At the end of the day, what am I supposed to think of this match? Mona beat her two months ago and now Brandi evens things up. There’s no title to fight over and no one else for them to face, so there’s nothing here but a decent match and a pretty Mona. Did Mona ever even face Madusa?

The split second the pin goes down, they go to an ad for Hogan and Sting videos. That was one of the fastest cuts I’ve ever seen.

Mayhem ad.

We see Karagias pinning Blitzkrieg to earn his title shot tonight.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Saturn

Headlock from Saturn to start followed by a hammerlock as they hit the mat for a wrestling sequence. Back up and a big clothesline drops Guerrero and it’s off to an armbar. Chavo tries to get underneath Saturn, earning him a good stomping. Sometimes that’s all you need to do. Back up again and a German suplex sends Chavo flying and he rolls out to the floor for a breather. Chavo gets back in but quickly flips over to the apron. He can’t ram Saturn into the buckle though and gets suplexed from the apron back inside. Other than a few quickly broken holds, it’s all Saturn so far.

Chavo finally jumps over a charge in the corner and dropkicks the knee before a clothesline puts Saturn on the floor. A nice plancha gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock. Saturn doesn’t like to rest though and gets up for a big t-bone suplex, followed by a forearm and another suplex. He loads up a superplex (logical next step) but Eddie runs out to swing at him. Unfortunately he misses Saturn and knocks Chavo to the mat. Somehow the referee doesn’t see Eddie coming in and dropkicking Saturn, allowing Chavo to collapse head first onto Saturn’s crotch for the pin.

Rating: C. Can Saturn please get a big win, or even a win in general? This wasn’t much to see but Saturn’s suplexes looked good. They’re setting up something interesting with the Animals vs. the Revolution, even though they both should be moving up the ladder a bit. The same idea worked with the Nation vs. DX in 1998 and stealing an idea only a year old isn’t bad for WCW. Would Eddie and Benoit be HHH and Rock in that analogy?

Here are Sid, Steiner and Charles Robinson with something to say. Sid talks about a restraining order against Goldberg and the US Title match at Halloween Havoc is off if there’s contact. Booker and Goldberg are stupid for meeting kids and doing all that other hero stuff before saying tonight, it’s 100-0. Robinson even has the next sign ready. So Robinson is some freaky Ric Flair and Lodi crossbreed?

Coach Buzz Stern is going to bring Luther Biggs to Thunder. Just get it over with so this can mean nothing.

We recap Sting vs. Benoit and the fallout with Sting attacking Hogan’s knee later in the night. They’re really pushing that six man tag so points for trying to build to a big match.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Prince Iaukea vs. Van Hammer

You know, I was just starting to think this show wasn’t half bad. That’s what I get for even thinking for a second that this show isn’t a horrible abomination. I need to stay more vigilant. The Prince jumps him from behind and actually gets two off a rollup. Hammer slams him down but gets small packaged for another near fall, followed by a headbutt. At least Iaukea is being more aggressive. He’s still horrible to watch but he’s aggressive. Hammer tries an Irish whip but gets poked in the eye for his efforts.

Yet another rollup gets two as dear goodness there’s an actual story to this thing. Hammer gets tired of this match and kicks Prince in the face before hanging him in a Tree of Woe and choking him from the floor. When you’re ripping off Rick Steiner moves, it’s time to hang it up buddy. A few slams set up a few chinlocks on Iaukea but he finally fights up and kicks Hammer low. I know I said just make it legal already and it seems like they actually have. Prince hits a Samoan drop but walks into a spinebuster, setting up the cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D. Well it was a bit better than a squash but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting or even good match. I did like the idea of Iaukea just going for fast wins because he can’t go toe to toe with someone Hammer’s size, but at the end of the day it’s still Hammer and Iaukea getting five minutes on live television. There’s no way this can be considered a good thing.

Hammer says he wants a US Title shot on Nitro. I can’t decide if Sid vs. Hammer on live TV is worse than Hammer vs. Prince on live TV and for some reason I’m going to get to find out. I hate my life.

Revolution video.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rick Steiner

Rick runs his mouth about Booker to start and still wants people to bite him. Eddie can’t take Steiner down either from behind or by the leg and I have a bad feeling about where this is going. He gets behind Steiner again but this time Rick switches over and throws Eddie down with a German suplex.

Steiner hammers away in the corner and starts ripping at Eddie’s face. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie is dumped to the floor. He manages to reverse a whip for the closest thing to offense he’s had so far. Naturally that’s all Rick is going to give him and it’s time for choking with a cord. Back in and Steiner slaps him before shrugging off right hands to the face. A spinebuster plants Eddie for two but he gets back up with a hurricanrana. Cue Sid to chokeslam Eddie off the top for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Is there an emergency button for Steiner to push when he’s actually having to sell? Have we ever even been given a reason why Sid and Steiner got together? Given that we’re still waiting on a reason for Nash to join up with Hogan and surrender the title when he had gotten away with everything (my goodness that sounds like forever ago), I wouldn’t hold my breath. This match showed that not even Eddie Guerrero can save Rick Steiner, which is all you need to know.

Kidman makes the save and gets powerbombed. If Lenny hadn’t done it recently, that would drive me a lot crazier.

CALL THE HOTLINE! SEE HOW ELSE WE’RE GOING TO SCREW THIS UP!

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Lenny Lane

Karagias is challenging after beating Blitzkrieg on Nitro. Lodi’s sign: “Lenny is hard to beat.” Lenny takes Evan down to start and cranks on a hammerlock (popular move tonight) but has to run away from some right hands as we take a very early break. Back with the champ holding a chinlock until Evan fights up and gets sent to the apron. A springboard cross body gets two on the champ but he sends Evan into the buckle to put him down again. Lenny’s rather suggestive cover gets two before he drops Evan with a gorilla press.

That’s about it for the offense though as a double clothesline puts both guys down. Evan makes his comeback but gets caught up top. The champ’s superplex attempt is quickly countered with a sitout superbomb for no cover. That might be a good thing as it would make Evan look pretty lame to not be able to pin Lenny after a spot that big. He heads up top again but Lodi finally does something by tripping him to the mat to give Lenny a two count. Back up and Evan dropkicks the brothers together for two. Lodi gets back up so Lenny catapults Evan into him, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain.

Rating: C. You know, Lenny isn’t that bad in the ring. Yeah he’s a Chris Jericho look-a-like and has a gimmick that had to be toned WAY down, but his matches are far from horrible. The division is starting to round back into some form (albeit not quite its previous glory but that’s not fair to ask) and beating Lane might be a big deal when it happens.

We see Hammer’s challenge for the US Champion from earlier tonight.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging but comes out alone while Sid has Steiner in his corner. Nick Patrick comes out and won’t let Charles Robinson referee the match. If Robinson is this corrupt, how does he still have a job? Granted I could say that about so many people in WCW that this really shouldn’t surprise me. Robinson stays at ringside as Booker hammers on Sid but charges into an elbow in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Booker kicks him into the crowd and is getting in more offense than anyone has on Sid in weeks. By that I mean a few shots of course because Sid is a STAR.

They fight into the crowd and it’s the walking around the arena style. Back to ringside with Sid in control and dropping Booker across the barricade. The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s too important to appear on this show. Steiner gets in some cheap shots but Booker comes back with some kicks to the champ. Sid of course no sells but is nice enough to stay down for two off a missile dropkick, only to have Steiner pull Patrick to the floor. Robinson comes in, along with Steiner, as Sid chokeslams Booker, setting up a double powerbomb to retain the title.

Rating: D. Grumble grumble, star power, grumble grumble, Sid and Steiner are old. This was actually a bit better than most Sid matches as Booker was able to carry things far better than most of his opponents. However, Booker was never a real threat and the three villains made sure of it. Sid popping up after the ax kick really doesn’t surprise me but it still gets annoying in a hurry.

Sid yells for Goldberg to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was a bit better than usual, but it’s still nothing I’d want to see. The stories have thankfully calmed down after all those months of horrid, but that still doesn’t help the mostly below average wrestling. We’re just waiting on the guys to start tearing the house down but there’s always something holding them back. Once they finally just start letting these stories go somewhere, WCW could potentially get hot again. That’s one of the things that makes their downfall so frustrating: there are ways around some of the problems (not all of them of course) but they just kept wasting the potential.

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Monday Nitro #206
Date: September 20, 1999
Location: Firstar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 11,634
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The question in WCW is now “how bad can it get”. After last week’s mess, the main event makes me feel like pounding my head in with a hammer, but the midcard scene only makes me want to carve hieroglyphics into my stomach with a branding iron. Russo can’t get here soon enough, and I’m sure that’s going to be followed with a “what the heck was I thinking”. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show and the theory that Sting has been having a master plan for the last three years.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman dropkicks Psychosis down to start but Juvy offers a distraction to let the masked man take over. Juvy doesn’t like cheating and comes in legally with a headscissors before some double stomping has Kidman in even more trouble. Kidman flips out of a German (apparently you can’t suplex him either. Unless you’re Lenny Lane) and tags in Rey, setting up a Doomsday Device with Mysterio hitting a springboard seated senton instead of a clothesline.

A Lionsault from Rey gets two but Juvy grabs a quick suplex to take over again. Psychosis comes back in for half of a double top rope guillotine legdrop (that was awesome) for two with Kidman making the save. Rey makes a quick tag so Kidman can hit a top rope cross body to take down both guys as everything breaks down. Psychosis, not being Lenny Lane, can’t powerbomb Kidman but Juvy shoves Kidman into a dropkick for the pin by Psychosis in a big surprise.

Rating: C+. Take four talented guys and let them fly around the ring for five minutes to open the show. That’s standard, common sense booking and it’s something that is going to work every time. Well, except when it ends with Sid powerbombing or chokeslamming all of them to continue a stupid angle but at least they’re trying.

Cue Eddie and Konnan for a beatdown with Kidman going for Psychosis’ mask. So the Animals are heels? It’s not really clear most of the time. Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the save and argues with Eddie, but Psychosis starts ranting in Spanish. Chavo says that was a challenge to Kidman for a mask vs. hair match next week but Psychosis doesn’t seem to agree. Since everyone in this company has match making powers, it’s on for next week.

Quick video on Sid vs. Goldberg.

Brian Knobbs vs. Goldberg

This is actually fallout from Goldberg beating up Jerry Flynn last week. Goldberg knocks him to the floor to start so Knobbs hits him with five straight chair shots. As usual, the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Goldberg blocks a ram into the post and hits a big boot back inside. Jimmy Hart comes in and gives Knobbs the megaphone for a cheap shot, but it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin.

Video on the Revolution.

Clip of Benoit vs. Malenko from last week.

Here’s Flair for a chat. He wants Sting out here right now because he’s free at last. From Bischoff I presume? Benoit comes out instead and says the two of them have unfinished business, so after he wins the title tonight, Flair can have Sting. Despite already having a guaranteed title shot tonight, Benoit challenges Sting. Flair ignores this and yells about Sting as Benoit talks about it being his time after all of Flair’s lies. Ric runs off, looking for Sting. As usual, the young guys mean nothing on this show.

Nitro Girls video.

Nitro Girls competition. Still waiting on Stacy.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit’s TV Title isn’t on the line and all references to the champ will be about Sting. The Revolution isn’t out here so it’s one on one. During the entrances, Tony announces Sting/Luger/Page vs. Hogan/Hart/Flair for next week. Good to see Benoit getting this shot in the first hour instead of the main event where the World Title should be. Feeling out process to start with Benoit missing an enziguri and getting dropkicked outside.

Back in and a clothesline sends Benoit outside again as they seem to have a lot of time for this match. Another dropkick puts Chris down on the floor for the third time in two minutes. He seems to be more frustrated than outmatched so far. Benoit scores with a dragon screw leg whip and dropkick to the knee. Sting is already a million miles ahead of Sid by actually selling the injury. A bridging Indian deathlock with Benoit’s hands around the face have Sting in even more trouble but Benoit has to let it go.

The champ gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide dropkick but the second one misses, crotching the Canadian against the post. There’s an atomic drop from Sting as the knee is fine far too fast. Sting totally botches what looked to be an attempt at a reverse Tree of Woe, nearly dropping Benoit on his head in the process.

More atomic drops have Benoit in trouble so he clotheslines Sting down. That earns him a chinlock for a bit and a knee to the ribs to stop his comeback attempt. A reverse suplex drops Benoit again and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up again and Sting avoids a dropkick but gets small packaged out of nowhere for two.

Sting’s top rope splash hits knees and Benoit has an opening. The Stinger Splash misses as well and Benoit nails the Swan Dive for a close two. The Crossface goes on but Sting is right next to the ropes. Benoit puts on a sleeper instead but the counter takes out the referee. A piledriver has Sting in even more trouble but there’s no referee to count the cover. Benoit’s German suplex gets the same result until Luger runs in with a bat shot to the ribs for the pin to retain Sting’s title.

Rating: C+. This actually wasn’t as good as you would think it would be. Sting didn’t really sell much until the end, but it was nowhere near a squash. Benoit looked like a decent challenge to Sting but he clearly wasn’t a real threat to win the title. The interesting thing here though was Sting’s offense. Other than some atomic drops after Benoit crotched himself, which is more intelligence than anything else, there was nothing here that would make you think Sting was a heel. Is it any shock that the fans aren’t booing him?

Flair comes in to punch Lex down and earns him a Diamond Cutter from an invading Page. Hogan comes in for the save as Benoit is totally forgotten.

Berlyn video.

Berlyn vs. Scott Armstrong

Armstrong gets run over to start and Berlyn poses on the ropes. He spits on Armstrong and drapes him over the top rope, knocking him out to the floor. The bodyguard doesn’t get to fire off a right hand so Berlyn hits a European uppercut back inside. The match just keeps going for no apparent reason until the bodyguard gets in a cheap shot, setting up the neckbreaker for the pin on Armstrong.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying to push someone new but that Duggan match has just crippled Berlyn right out of the gate. Well that and the bad vignettes, bad interpreter, bad look that doesn’t at all hide the fact that he’s Alex Wright, bad matches, bad finishing move, bodyguard who already outshines him, the simplicity of the evil foreigner gimmick and no one caring about him. Other than all that, the guy is great.

Earlier today, Vampiro and the Clowns argued over which one should get the Cruiserweight Title shot but it’s eventually Shaggy getting the shot. You know, the guy who pinned the champ last week. I apologize for making you think about that again. Gay jokes abound to make it even worse.

We see Flair getting beaten up last week.

Here’s Diamond Dallas Page to rip on Pete Rose for cheap heat. I’d much rather watch Rose’s WWF appearances as they’re actually entertaining, but cheap heat is better than no heat. Anyway, he’s facing Flair in the main event tonight and is going to retire Ric because Flair won’t retire like he should have years ago.

Clip of Saturn vs. Guerrero from last week.

Evan Karagias vs. Blitzkrieg

So why did we see Saturn vs. Guerrero just now? The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Thursday. They fight over wrist control to start until Evan hits an uncharacteristic press slam. A more likely dropkick sends Blitzkrieg to the floor for a big dive as Tony and Bobby talk about the West Hollywood Blonds, dropping that name for the first time. Back in and Blitzkrieg hides behind the referee for a distraction, allowing him to elbow Evan in the face. A big flip dive misses though and a top rope cross body gets two for Evan. Cue Sid as Evan hits a spinning top rope splash for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. This is actually a better step as they’re at least letting the matches end before they get to the Sid interference. That really isn’t too much to ask in theory, but for WCW it comes off like a miracle. Not much to see here due to time, but at least they’re pushing Evan as the next challenger.

Sid beats them both up and challenges Goldberg for Halloween Havoc, as long as Goldberg doesn’t touch him first. Well at least there’s a focus now.

Revolution video.

Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Saturn knocks Eddie into the ropes to start so he comes back with a hurricanrana and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Saturn down. The Revolution pulls Eddie outside for a beating and we take an early break. Of course that somehow doesn’t end the match via disqualification but why would that happen? Back with Guerrero armdragging out of a chinlock and nailing a sweet springboard tornado DDT. That was just awesome looking.

Eddie walks the top rope into a hurricanrana to take Saturn down again but Perry pops back up with a belly to belly. A huge top rope elbow drop gets two for Saturn and it’s Death Valley Driver time. Eddie rolls into a victory roll for two, perhaps because Saturn took time to signal for his finisher move. Saturn loads up a superplex but gets hurricanranaed down, only to avoid the Frog Splash. Eddie ducks a charge and sends him outside to trigger a huge brawl with the Animals. In the melee, Shane nails Eddie with a chain which Saturn sees and doesn’t like. After a staredown with Shane, Saturn covers for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is your token good match of the week but it still doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere. I’m hoping this leads to the end of Douglas in the group as he just doesn’t fit with the idea. If nothing else, he just showed up one day and was suddenly part of a team who was tired of being held down by WCW after being with the company for all of a week.

Here’s Hogan to ignore his history with Flair (as in history dating back about six months at this point) and say how much he and Hart care about him as they head into the six man tag. I mean, Flair is totally cool with Hogan after the NWO kidnapped him into a field and beat the living tar out of him or broke up the Flair family? This is just a hard sell for the six man.

Recap of Shaggy pinning Lane in the tag match last week.

Insane Clown Posse music video. YOU WILL CARE ABOUT THEM!

Cruiserweight Title: Shaggy 2 Dope vs. Lenny Lane

A quick ICP chant breaks out which I’m sure is enough to validate this horrible idea. Tony Mamaluke runs in again but gets punched in the jaw by Lodi, allowing security to handcuff him. As he’s being taken away, Tony shouts about his brother coming soon. Back to the comedy match, Lenny jumps into the referee’s arms but gets dropped on his back, allowing Shaggy to slam him down for two.

The guillotine legdrop misses and a gutwrench sitout powerbomb gets two for the champ. Lenny does the slow, crawling cover so Shaggy comes out of the corner with a bad looking running Liger Bomb for two more. Lodi trips Shaggy to the floor (not a DQ of course. The more interesting question is what does it actually take to get a DQ in this company?) but Shaggy knocks him onto J. and Vampiro, which somehow knocks him out, allowing Lenny to get the pin.

Rating: D-. And that’s IT. Just stop with the stupid Clown matches and get them out of this company so we can see some real wrestlers for a change. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Lenny and Lodi deserve better than this. I really shouldn’t be nervous that someone is going to get maimed because a Clown is trying to drop a top rope legdrop and has no idea what he’s doing and no one should have to take the move. Bad match and the ending made no sense.

Here’s Rick Steiner to brag about how awesome his brother and Sid both are. This brings out a HUGE Scott Steiner to brag about how he’s been chasing Wilt Chamberlain’s record. Apparently he just found out that the NWO is done, meaning someone who seems to be a top heel hasn’t been paying attention in four months. Speaking of those months, he doesn’t tell us where he’s been, nor has WCW told us anything about his whereabouts. He wants to fight Hogan, which could be such a disaster that it’s one of the most entertaining messes in history.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

Feeling out process to start with Booker nailing an early dropkick to take over. Kanyon bails to the floor, nearly falls over laughing at Stevie’s intimidating face, and rolls back inside. Mr. T. scores with his usual stuff and knocks Kanyon back outside, only to be sent into the barricade for his efforts. A suplex brings Booker back in and a middle rope Fameasser gets two. We continue stealing popular WWF moves with a Rock Bottom to Kanyon (not yet named the Book End) and the usual kicks, followed by the missile dropkick to pin Kanyon.

Rating: C-. This was fine with both guys getting to show off in a short match. I mean, it’s not like they could have given any more time to this because we needed to hear from the old guys all night instead. As usual, the talented guys give us a reprieve from the boring nature of the old guard, but this didn’t have the time to get anywhere.

Ric Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Flair jumps him in the aisle and the fight starts fast. They head into the crowd with Page trying to stagger away but eating more right hands to the jaw. Page finally gets inside and nails Flair in the ribs to take over. The backdrop sends Flair onto his shoulder as always and sets up a pelvic thrust elbow, which is totally not like the Rock’s big move whatsoever. We hit the chinlock for some very loud spot calling before they slug it out. A lot blow sets up the Figure Four but Sting comes in to break it up, only to miss that big elbow. Some things never change. Sting gets put in the Figure Four but Luger comes in with the bat for the DQ.

Rating: D. You know, some people might want to see the World Title match closing the show instead of this mess but we can’t have Benoit closing the show. This was angle advancement instead of a match to set up the six man next week. Page is nothing at this point and it’s getting more and more clear every week.

Hogan comes in and takes a bat shot to the knee so Flair dives on top of Hogan to protect him. If Flair has ever done something more out of character, I’ve never seen it.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was significantly better this week but it was still nothing great. That being said, you can still see that the younger guys and the harder workers are locked in one part of the roster while the rest of the company is firmly in the other half. Benoit’s title shot was little more than a plot device to set up the next week’s main event, which is just another six man tag. The lack of continuity with the stories is frustrating, but at least we’re finally getting somewhere with Sid vs. Goldberg. It won’t be any good, but at least Sid isn’t destroying my soul anymore.

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Monday Nitro #205
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Dean Smith Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolinas
Attendance: 5,571
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Fall Brawl and again I’m convinced WCW has hit rock bottom. The Revolution got swept last night and Sting turned heel to win the World Title, despite the fans sounding pleased with the results. We’re now a month away from Halloween Havoc and it’s time to see how Nitro goes without Bischoff running things behind the scenes. Let’s get to it.

Things are already looking up on this show as we look back at last week with Hart challenging Hogan and all the Hogan/Sting/Luger shenanigans.

Nitro Girls.

Quick recap of last night. That’s the best way to do it if you absolutely must.

Recap of Benoit and Malenko having a good match for a World Title shot tonight until Sid interfered to give us a good old fashioned bait and switch.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Rematch with the same stipulations as last week with Saturn and Douglas at ringside. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a hammerlock. Benoit scores with an enziguri but can’t hook a dragon suplex. Instead Dean nails him with an elbow tot he jaw but they both fall out to the floor. Mostly even match so far. Saturn and Douglas don’t let it turn into a brawl as Tony is talking about Sting, which actually ties into this match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in his ear this week.

Dean takes over with a short arm scissors back inside but Benoit powers out and drops Dean for two. Malenko avoids a dropkick and goes for the leg but Benoit is right next to the ropes. Benoit misses a charge in the corner but catches Dean taking way too long to get up top, setting up a top rope superplex to put both guys down.

A double clothesline gives us a double cover before we hit a very crisp pinfall reversal sequence. Benoit starts rolling Germans but Dean counters into a rollup for two. That’s enough for Benoit as he hooks a belly to back and slits the throat, only to get caught on top for another superplex, but Benoit hooks Dean’s leg on the way down and ties the legs together into a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B+. That might be high but this is the best match WCW has had probably in months. It wasn’t even ten minutes long but they packed stuff into this match with both guys getting to look great. There’s a great story in here with Benoit trying to use suplexes and throws while Dean wanted to break Benoit down by going for body parts but kept getting in trouble when he went out of his comfort zone, namely whenever he went to the top. At the end of the day, there is no substitute for a really good wrestling match and that’s exactly what you got here.

All four members of the team gets in to hug post match.

Gene is in the ring and brings back Ric Flair as he returns in the Carolinas again. They’re already about 10,000x better than what we got last night. I wonder how much of a difference the lack of Bischoff makes as there’s a good chance he booked the PPV before leaving and this is the first real show without him.

Ric is back in face mode and sucks up to the crowd, who of course love him like free beer in a frat house. Flair alludes to being free (of Bischoff I’d assume) before talk turns to Sting and Luger. He doesn’t approve of how Sting won the title. I’ll let you pause to laugh at that for a minute. This brings the two of them out to say it’s their time now, meaning it’s time for Flair to go because they’ve been held back long enough. Somehow they’re onto something as they’ve combined for eleven World Titles and Flair has I think fourteen at this point?

Ric says they have to to earn their spots, which you would think they did years ago but Flair has always had some issues with reality. Luger and Sting deck Flair and put him in their respective submissions, drawing out Hart and Hogan for the save. Hogan sets up the tag match for later, which he’s doing for Flair. You know, for all those great moments they’ve had together earlier this year.

After a break, Luger and Sting laugh because Luger doesn’t have medical clearance or any gear. Sting not mentioning facing Benoit later scares me.

Berlyn’s entourage arrives.

DJ Ran throws it to Riki Rachman to show us last week’s winner in the Nitro Girls competition and introduce this week’s finalists. None of them are Stacy Keibler so we’ll move on.

JJ Dillon is on the phone with a doctor in Florida and finds out that Luger has been cleared for three weeks. My what convenient timing for him to finally look into that.

Stills of Benoit vs. Sid from last night. The faster we move on from this the better a lot of people will be.

Erik Watts vs. Disco Inferno

Someone explain to me why WCW keeps Watts on the payroll. They must owe Bill a favor of some kind. Erik “Let me show you my dropkick” Watts hammers away to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed, setting up dance time. He stomps Watts down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Watts to powerslam him into the corner. Think the Oklahoma Stampede minus the followup powerslam.

Watts stays on the ribs but Disco counters a Russian legsweep into one of his own, even though it’s pretty much the same move either way. The middle rope elbow misses though and DEAR GOODNESS TURN DOWN THE CROWD NOISE! The fans suddenly go from silent to losing their minds in the span of half a second as we go split screen to show Sid. Disco hits the Last Dance for the pin a second later.

Rating: D-. That powerslam wasn’t bad but the audio going nuts was the most entertaining part of the match. Disco really deserves something better than this. Even a low level tag team or something like that would be nice for him. Instead he’s stuck in these lame matches and about to get powerbombed in half by Sid.

Of course that’s exactly what happens, plus Sid rambling on about not putting up with trash like this, or with Goldberg for that matter. Charles Robinson was holding the signs as Sid is now at 82-0 and got to wear the US Title. Somehow, it kind of suits him.

Silver King vs. Norman Smiley

Norman shoves him around to start but takes a quick enziguri (a popular move tonight) and a quick flip splash. King sends Norman outside and teases a dive which looks so horrible that Smiley doesn’t even bother to move. Back in and Smiley busts out the Big Wiggle but has to hit a wheelbarrow slam, followed by the spinning slam. Not that any of it matters though as Sid comes in for the no contest.

Chokeslams and double pins make Sid 84-0.

We recap the horrid Berlyn vs. Duggan match from Sunday.

Steve Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham

Regal runs over Kendall with ease to start and takes him to the mat for a well needed wrestling lesson. A front facelock has Kendall in trouble and Regal goes behind him to throw Kendall around a bit. Off to Barry and the gut of doom before Taylor comes in for a European uppercut. The Windhams take Taylor into the corner for a double teaming with the Windhams moving at top speed. Well top speed for them at least, which is slow motion for most other teams.

Taylor finally rolls away, somehow countering the Windham’s lightning quick offense to make the tag to Regal. Steve comes in with those pretty lame left hands of his and a Regal Cutter to Barry as everything breaks down. Taylor hooks Barry in a leg lock but Kendall makes the quick save. The referee goes after Taylor, allowing Hennig to hit Regal with the cowbell to give Barry the pin.

Rating: D. The Windhams need to get away from my screen as soon as possible. They’re not interesting, they’re not good in the ring, they’re not really in shape and they’re not losing like they should be. The Brits are a decent heel team and could actually have a nice match if given the chance, but here they are jobbing to the Windhams, who still aren’t over after losing the titles a day earlier.

Back from a break with Jerry Flynn in the ring but Goldberg is shown coming to the ring with security while wearing street clothes. Goldberg comes down to the ring and passes Prince Iaukea, who seems to be Flynn’s scheduled opponent. THANK YOU BILL! Goldberg isn’t pleased with Sid’s comments earlier and would like to challenge him to a match. That’s the cleaned up version of course. We cut to Sid in the back where again his audio is so low that I can’t hear a thing he says. He picks up a bag and leaves as Goldberg is still in the ring. Flynn complains and I think you can guess what happens.

Stills of the Tag Team Title match last night.

Harlem Heat vs. First Family

So we had Malenko and Douglas lose last night for a non-title match? The countdown is on for those guys. Ray and Morrus stall for a few moments to start before both guys shove each other around. Knobbs comes in for a double team attempt but Booker kicks him in the face to send us to a commercial. Back with all four fighting outside until it’s Morrus slamming Ray for two inside.

The Family hits back to back splashes in the corner but try a double clothesline and get run over for their efforts. At least Stevie is at the point where he can run at people and stick his arms out. I mean WCW praises the Clowns for doing it so they should praise Stevie too right? Booker comes in to fire some kicks at Knobbs but the Rednecks come back out to break up the missile dropkick for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and they’re getting the idea of making the hot tag to someone who can actually use some speed. That being said, did Douglas and Malenko really just lose to the First Family to set up a loss to Harlem Heat the next night to continue the boring rivalry with the Rednecks? That’s what we really just did? The fact that it’s not the Clowns getting this feud is somehow the best news to come out of this.

Insane Clown Posse vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Oh this is going to hurt. Vampiro is hurting as well after a bunch of injuries to his head and eye after the match last night. Lodi is wearing an East Carolina University football jersey. Does he want a job in WWF (Vince went to school there if that made no sense)? A fan runs into the ring before the match but it turns out to be Tony Mamaluke, who has been following Lenny and Lodi recently. Heenan: “Take him out back and hang him.” When did Brain get so harsh?

J. does some bad looking hiptosses so Lenny starts prancing a bit. A gorilla press sends Lenny running on his knees to Lodi. The camera goes to Vampiro at ringside and thankfully he says there’s something more important going on and points to the ring. Shaggy hammers on Lodi and Stuns Lane across the top rope. A double suplex sends 2 Dope into the ropes as the fans are cheering for the Clowns. The brothers hit a knee lift into a legdrop for two on Shaggy but we get heel (?) miscommunication to allow the tag to J.

Tony and Heenan keep sucking up to the Clowns and say they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. My goodness ANYTHING but that. We get the spot where Lenny and Lodi are knocked into sexual positions before they plant Shaggy with a double DDT for two. The brothers load up a suplex/cross body combination but Lodi hits Lenny by mistake, allowing Shaggy to roll Lenny up for the pin on the Cruiserweight Champion.

Rating: F. A Clown just pinned a champion in what was supposed to set up Shaggy winning the title. Thankfully the Clowns wouldn’t wrestle again in WCW until August so this didn’t go anywhere, but my goodness. They’re treated like good guys, the announcers freak out over hip tosses, and they’re pinning a champion. Just….come on WCW. Even you should be better than this.

The Clowns want Kidman. That recruiting thing isn’t going to be mentioned again is it?

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sting

Before the match, Benoit talks about Sid tapping out last night and the whole world saw it, but sometimes the calls don’t go your way. Instead of violins playing Sting to the ring, dogs are barking and Rick Steiner is here. Oh geez here we go. Rick says this isn’t Benoit’s night and for absolutely no adequately explained reason, this is happening instead of Benoit’s World Title shot.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner hammers away to start and knees Chris in the ribs. He plants Benoit with a powerslam as this is one sided so far. More beating in the corner ensues until Rick does that face grab of his. Steiner shoves the referee before they head outside with Benoit going into the barricade. Total and complete squash so far.

A belly to belly sets up more face ripping, followed by one of the most painful looking release German suplexes I’ve ever seen. Benoit landed right on the back of his head in a huge crash that made me cringe. It’s only good for two though so Steiner smacks the referee in the face, allowing Benoit to grab a bad looking rollup for the fast count and the pin for the title. Steiner clearly kicked out at about two and a half.

Rating: D-. This right here is the moment where it was clear WCW did not care about Chris Benoit. Yes he won the title but he had a total of some right hands at the beginning and a rollup with a fast count due to something Steiner did. This was all about Steiner and Benoit got squashed the entire time after having a great match earlier tonight because in WCW’s eyes, Steiner is more important than Benoit by definition. On top of that, there’s the whole missing World Title shot. Why stick around if you’re Benoit?

Post match, Steiner destroys Benoit until Malenko makes the save. Just in case you needed any more proof that Benoit is just a guy and might as well have been Prince Iaukea in WCW’s eyes.

Video on the Revolution. You know, those four guys that Steiner and Sid regularly beat up.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

The Revolution and Filthy Animals are at ringside with Kidman looking to be in pajamas. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading attempts at holds until it’s Eddie grabbing a headlock. Saturn shoves him off and hits a big T-Bone before putting on a headlock of his own. Somehow both guys have already had as much or more offense than Benoit in the previous match.

Back up and Guerrero jumps on Saturn’s back for a sleeper as Tony takes way too long to get to a commercial. We come back with Saturn hitting a hard belly to back suplex but it seems to just fire Eddie up. Things speed WAY up with a sweet exchange of sleeper attempts and suplexes, all of which do little more than make me even angrier at Rick Steiner and Sid for getting pushed so hard.

Eddie gets T-Boned off the top but is still able to hot shot Saturn in the corner. The third T-Bone sends Eddie flying again and makes me think I’m watching a Taz match. The Death Valley Driver is countered though and Eddie plants him with a brainbuster. Eddie has to bail out of the Frog Splash but escapes another DVD attempt, setting up a solid pinfall reversal sequence. Saturn sits down on a headscissors attempt and gets a surprise pin.

Rating: B. Another awesome match here between two guys who can just get in a ring and go. Therefore, neither guy is going to get anywhere around here. This show has had some really good wrestling but also been some of the most frustrating stuff I’ve ever seen. Some combination of these guys could be tearing it up with Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Titles but we’re getting the Windhams and threats of the Clowns because WCW is that stupid.

The groups stare each other down and war is imminent. Why have them fight big names when you can just have them fight each other right?

Berlyn vs. Buff Bagwell

So he’ll skip the PPV (while still appearing to likely get a payday) but he’ll fight on TV where more people are watching? Again, WCW is stupid. The interpreter is back and goes to the commentary booth to make this even more painful. She starts speaking German and the voice is already annoying. Bagwell stalls to start as Tony actually calls this an anticipated match.

A nice dropkick puts Bagwell down and the German continues. Some clotheslines look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff gets crotched on top. The bodyguard gets yelled at as this match is already dragging. Berlyn gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. The comeback sets up a top rope clothesline and some basic offense as Berlyn is knocked down in the corner. A hot shot sets up a punch from the bodyguard, giving Berlyn the three count.

Rating: D-. Gah this was dull and it barely broke five minutes. It was a short step better than the Duggan match but it’s clear that Berlyn isn’t going anywhere. The German chick got annoying the second she started talking and it didn’t make the match any better. On top of that, it’s clear that they’re going for the Shawn/Diesel formula with the bodyguard becoming the star, but Berlyn is as far from Shawn Michaels as I am from being Miss Nebraska 1973.

We get a long video on Sting posing the theory that Sting’s entire run as the crow was just there to set up his heel turn last night. It’s a cool video but this sounds like some nonsense about the moon landing being staged in a big studio somewhere. It doesn’t help that the video contains dialogue like this: “Perhaps Sting was driving the Hummer that attacked Kevin Nash. He was seen getting out of a Hummer a week later, remember?” They even bring up NWO Sting being part of Sting’s grand plan.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan

Luger is in street clothes and it’s a brawl to start. Hogan and Sting get inside with Hulk destroying the champ with all the right hands he can throw. Bret comes in for right hands of his own as Luger finally gets on the apron. The champ comes back with a clothesline and the fans loudly cheer for him. If you were just watching the match with no commentary or any idea what happened last night, you would have almost no reason to believe Sting was a heel.

It’s off to Hogan vs. Luger with Hulk firing off even more right hands but eating the running forearm to the head. Sting comes in with a top rope splash for two because heels use high flying moves. Back to Luger for more choking as we’re still waiting on wrestling to start. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle but Sting comes back in for a suplex. Lex starts going after the knee as this match needs to just die already.

The knee goes nowhere as Hogan clotheslines both guys down, setting up the lukewarm tag to Bret. A quick Russian suplex gets two on the champ and the middle rope elbow gets the same. Everything breaks down as Diamond Dallas Page comes out for no apparent reason, carrying a ball bat. Hogan knocks it away as Bret has Sting in the Sharpshooter but Luger picks it up and nails Bret in the face, giving Sting the pin.

Rating: F. When I’m miserable over the fact that there are only two minutes left in a match, there’s something very wrong. This was terribly boring with no one putting it into even second gear. It doesn’t help that the story makes no sense. All of a sudden Sting is EVIL (despite not really doing anything evil tonight), Bret and Hogan are Flair fans and Page is now hanging out with Luger and Sting. Terrible match here and I have no interest in seeing this go forward.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. The Revolution matches (save for Benoit vs. Steiner but that was the booking’s fault) were really good and some of the better TV matches WCW has put on in a very long time. Unfortunately though there’s a HUGE gap between those and the main event matches, which ranged from horrible to the preferred method of torture in 14 countries.

This show was a perfect illustration of how nothing is going to change in WCW. The young guys can go out there and have great matches that actually get the fans reacting, but no one is going to break through into the main event scene. Those guys exist to fight each other and warm the crowd up so the real stars can have their boring matches with whatever nonsense stories they’re running. It’s like banging your head against a wall and wondering why the door doesn’t move. As usual, the wrestling can be good in spots but the booking will make you pull your hair out.

Thunder was canceled this week due to a hurricane and replaced by a recap show so I won’t be putting it up. Sorry to the four people that actually read those recaps.

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Thunder
Date: September 9, 1999
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Attendance: 4,653
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

We’re into a new era here in WCW as I’m convinced the company gave up at the last Nitro. Unfortunately that means we have a taped Thunder to sit through, even though the previous show felt like the taped episode. I know I keep saying that things can’t get any worse and I’ve been wrong every single time. Let’s get to it.

This show is in memory of Mark Curtis who died of cancer shortly before this show.

Buff Bagwell vs. Barbarian

Buff poses, then locks up, then poses, then gets kicked in the face. I like this Barbarian’s style. He hammers away with every sort of strike you can think of, only to miss a clothesline and get dropkicked out to the floor. After a chat with Jimmy (who apparently speaks monster), Barbarian comes back in and gets stomped down yet again. Jimmy distracts Buff (like it’s that hard) so Barbarian can hammer away.

Even Hart gets in some choking on the ropes as he continues to be one of the hardest working manager in wrestling. Barbarian gets two off a side slam and it’s already time for Buff’s comeback with a cross body and neckbreaker for two of his own. Jimmy throws something in but Buff intercepts it and knocks Barbarian cold (1. Some hero. 2. Does no one remember racial stereotypes?) for the pin.

Rating: D. Maybe Berlyn is right and we should all start speaking German. They couldn’t even let the guy who is supposed to be the hero win with his cool looking finisher? If there’s a guy who had one of the easiest paths to being a face it’s Bagwell, but instead he has to cheat to win a match to set up a match where he’s supposed to be fighting for America. These are the kind of small things that really shouldn’t be happening but WCW seems to think no one is going to notice and/or care.

Clip of Berlyn from Nitro.

Now here’s something that has no business on this show: a geniunely good video history of Sting and Luger, dating back to their arrival in the Crockett territory and including clips from their time together as a team (including Crockett Cup footage) and their feud over the World Title.

Van Hammer vs. Blitzkrieg

Hammer starts fast by throwing Blitzkrieg across the ring like the cruiserweight he is…..and talks to the wrong camera. Blitzkrieg tries to get in some kicks and speed things up but dives into something like the Eye of the Storm (a Razor’s Edge but Hammer spins him around and drops him without ever leaving his feet). Hammer nails a running corner clothesline and drops a leg (on the chest but close enough) for two. A sunset flip goes as well for Blitzkrieg as you would expect and Hammer suplexes him down again.

Another suplex drops Blitzy again and Hammer goes up for a Swanton of all things. Since it takes him as long as frozen molasses going uphill, Blitzkrieg rolls away and hits a standing moonsault. He tries again since nothing else has worked but only hits mat, allowing Hammer to throw him around the ring again. They head outside to kill even more time, and so Hammer can no sell a moonsault off the apron. Back in and the cobra clutch slam ends Blitzkrieg with ease.

Rating: D-. So we had a long and boring squash with Blitzkrieg getting destroyed for the sake of Van Hammer, who hasn’t been going anywhere and won’t be going anywhere for the sake of filling in time on a taped Thunder. And for some reason it got over five minutes, just so Hammer could no sell Blitzkrieg’s big spot and win with a move as lame as a cobra clutch slam? All hail WCW.

Video on Page vs. Goldberg.

Video on who was driving the Hummer. Why am I supposed to still care about this?

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Shane Douglas vs. Chris Adams/Steven Regal/Dave Taylor

Regal and Benoit trade headbutts to start as the fans chant USA. Off to Taylor for some hard European uppercuts before a double tag quickly brings in Saturn and Adams. Perry slams Adams down and drops him on his head for a pretty scary semi-botch. It’s off to Shane for some stomping as he still wrestles like a heel after shoehorning his way onto this team.

Ever the genius, Shane goes over into the corner and gets nailed by the Union Jack to give the Europeans control. The triple teaming only lasts a few moments but does include a save by Saturn. Shane rolls over for the hot tag off to Benoit and everything breaks down. Benoit and Adams stay in the ring and it’s a German suplex into the Swan Dive and Crossface for the submission.

Rating: D+. Really standard six man here as Benoit continues to be the only one in the team that gets to show off in the ring. Malenko has the skill but doesn’t get to do much, Saturn is more flashy than skilled at this point and Shane is a talker who is only average in the ring. I do however like the Europeans as the talented losers who are always going to look at least passable.

Lodi vs. Kaz Hayashi

This match….again? Kaz goes after Lenny but Lodi screws up the double team attempt. The spot is oh so hilarious that they do the same thing again until Lenny finally proves his worth by distracting Kaz long enough for Lodi to grab a suplex. Lodi takes him to the floor and sends him into the barricade a few times before heading back inside for the basic stuff he can do, mainly because he’s just a comedy character who is wrestling to continue an angle that should have died months ago.

A clothesline and powerslam get two on Kaz and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. We get the old Earl Hebner spot as Kaz tries a sunset flip but Lenny and Lodi grab hands, only to have the referee kick them apart for two. Kaz gets two more off a brainbuster before Lenny gets on the apron again but Kaz sends Lodi into his partner, setting up a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The worst part about this match is it was fairly entertaining and had a story to it: whenever Lodi was on his own he beat Kaz up but whenever he tried to have Lenny help, everything fell apart. That being said, it’s fairly stupid to have Kaz in trouble against Lodi before he has a title shot this Sunday.

Lenny tries some elbows on Kaz but keeps hitting mat.

Video on Sting and Hogan, who are suddenly friends after all those years of like, hating each other.

Sid Vicious vs. Adrian Byrd/Bobby Blaze

Both guys are allowed in at once and it makes about as much difference as you would expect. The powerbomb ends Byrd in less than a minute.

Blaze gets the same treatment and Charles Robinson gets to hold up the signs. Sid says his usual schtick about being the Millennium Man.

Here’s the Revolution with Benoit missing the US Title and Dean carrying the TV Title for no apparent reason. You would think Saturn, as in the guy challenging for it on Sunday, would be holding it but I’m not sure WCW remembers what they’re doing that far in advance. Dean rambles about the title belonging to people like them and says Rick can get it back in a match tonight, one on one with Sid staying in the back. Shane does a bit better as he talks about the Revolution being addicted to gold and not stopping until they have all the titles.

Barry Windham vs. Booker T.

Booker seems to like the look of that title belt. Kendall tries to validate his employment by offering a distraction, allowing Barry to get the early advantage. Booker hammers away with his usual array of strikes and the flying forearm. They head outside and both sets of partners (well partner in Booker’s case) get in some cheap shots.

Back in and Barry nails a DDT, probably the only non-striking move he can do at this point. Windham hammers away and shocks me with a suplex before throwing Booker outside for a Redneck beating. Back in again and Barry slowly stomps away, only to miss an elbow. Mr. T. comes up with his series of kicks and we even get some breakdancing. He loads up the missile dropkick but the Rednecks come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Somehow this is one of the better matches of the night. I’m fine with Harlem Heat being back together, but it astounds me that the Rednecks are the best team they can find for them to chase. Kendall isn’t getting a rub out of this as he continues to be one of the most useless guys I’ve seen in years. Can we get to something else for these guys already?

Stevie tries to make the save and gets beaten down as well.

Clip of Sting getting laid out on Monday.

TV Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rick Steiner

Dean is challenging but has the belt, which apparently he stole at some point earlier in the night. Rick jumps him before the bell and plants him with a suplex as we already take a break. Back with Dean nailing a dropkick and getting punched square in the face for his efforts. Cue Sid as Malenko rolls Steiner up, only to kick him off and right into the chokeslam for the fast DQ. The match might have been four minutes, counting commercial.

Shane comes in and gets beaten down as well. Benoit is able to grab the Crossface on Sid but Steiner makes the save. Cue Saturn so we can see the ENTIRE REVOLUTION getting beaten down by these two main event legends. Yes I said MAIN EVENT LEGENDS, meaning only other MAIN EVENT LEGENDS can fight them because that’s how WCW works. Saturn finally backdrops Sid to the floor and Steiner bails.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

From something nearly on top of a pay per view to main eventing a taped Thunder. Bigelow jumps him during the weapons check so Goldberg easily slams him down. We get some Zbyszko level stalling from Bam Bam on the floor before Goldberg catches a cross body attempt in midair. Goldberg just holds him there before a World’s Strongest Slam sets up a bad looking armbar.

The referee gets knocked down before Goldberg knocks Bigelow silly with a clothesline. Bigelow hammers away with offense that doesn’t require a referee bump. Goldberg no sells everything and hits the Bret Killer kick, drawing in Page. The referee, apparently in a coma by this point, is still down as Goldberg spears Bigelow down. Page bails to the floor as Goldberg Jackhammers Bam Bam for the pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t any good but Goldberg was showing the old fire from when he was World Champion. When he gets that power game going, he’s one of the most awesome guys you’ll ever see and he was knocking Bigelow silly out there. Page running in was pretty obvious, just like the fact that he’s going to get mauled on Sunday.

Page nails Goldberg with a chair but runs away to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. See, Thunder does offer a legitimate alternative to Nitro. While Nitro is a horrible show because it’s illogical and repetitive, Thunder is a horrible show because it’s incredibly boring and doesn’t have good matches. They really need to get to the Russo era so we can get something more interesting instead of just bad. Total waste of TV time here and I don’t want to see Fall Brawl.

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