Apparently this is a three hour show. Oh freaking joy.

Konnan vs. El Dandy

Road Wild ad.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Lizmark Jr.

Public Enemy vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Post match Meng comes out and destroys everyone in sight. Barbarian comes out to try and stop Meng but gets a Death Grip for his efforts. Meng destroys even more people.

Jim Duggan vs. Roadblock

A quick (work with me here) clothesline put the 400lb+ Roadblock on the floor but he elbows Duggan in the jaw back inside. The big man hits some forearms to the back like any good clubbing monster would before Duggan clotheslines him out again. Back in and the ten right hands in the corner have Roadblock in trouble but he grabs a bearhug to slow Duggan down. Jim breaks free, hits the Three Point Clothesline and drops Old Glory (knee drop) for the pin.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

This should be good. Kanyon grabs two quick rollups for two each but Saturn grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Schiavone of course brags about the basketball match instead of talking about ANYTHING going on during the match. Lee Marshall of all people gets him back on track. Saturn fires off some kicks in the corner but gets caught in a neckbreaker to put both guys down.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

Scott Norton vs. Ciclope

Norton, officially in black and white, powerbombs him for the pin in 15 seconds.

Stevie Ray is here to explain why he has the TV Title. Apparently Booker was in his hospital bed and looked up at Stevie (“With those big brown eyes”) and told Stevie how great of a champion he was. Booker gave Stevie power of attorney and Ray has a hand written note to prove it. Booker even picked the opponent tonight.

TV Title: Stevie Ray vs. Damien

Another total squash with Ray just mauling him. A powerslam gets no cover and Damien makes the jobber comeback with chops and a dropkick. Stevie clotheslines him down and the Slap Jack retains the title.

Here are Hennig, Rude and Hall with something to say. Rude thinks Page is nothing more than a flash in the pan. Hennig things DDP stands for Dirtball Dallas Punk and complains that his bird is too sick to relieve himself on a picture of DDP. Konnan comes out for Wolfpack reasons, calls Hall a mark, slaps Hennig, and runs.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

Both small guys are beaten down with the chair. Juvy gets a Sharpshooter and Mysterio is put in the figure four around the post. This is really the best thing they can come up with for Bret Hart?

Hugh Morrus/Barbarian vs. Marty Jannetty/Chris Adams

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Adams pounds on Morrus to start before bringing Marty in for a superkick. The crowd is clearly heading to the concourse during this. Everything quickly breaks down and Adams is sent to the floor, allowing Morrus to moonsault Jannetty for the pin. Another nothing match.

Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Diamond Dallas Page/Konnan vs. Curt Hennig/Scott Hall

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We’ve got four Nitros to go before Starrcade and five to go before 1997. I can’t believe we’ve gotten this far but somehow here we are. The shows up until then are pretty much all build to Starrcade, as you would expect them to be. Also expect some more of the US Title Tournament to play out tonight. Let’s get to it.

The Steiners come out immediately and say they want to finish this with Sting tonight. We get a clip from last week of Sting attacking Rick.

Glacier vs. Hardbody Harrison

This is Glacier’s first match since October. I’m not quite sure why they stopped the character for that long but it didn’t do him any favors. Harrison was actually in a big lawsuit against WCW where he said he was discriminated against for being black. In reality, he was a jobber and that’s about it. Glacier wins in like a minute with a spin kick.

Some Cincinnati Bengals are here as well as a minor league hockey team.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Joe Gomez/Renegade

Gomez and Jacques get things going here and things break down quickly. Gomez is thrown to the floor and Parker stomps him for a bit. Hogan vs. Piper has been upgraded to the match of the millennium. Things break down again and there’s the hot tag (with a mild pop) to the Renegade. He hits the handspring elbow in the corner but the Canadians take him down with ease and the Cannonball off the top ends this.

Rating: D. Why the Quebecers were here is beyond me but they were also in the WWF for awhile after this so who knows. Nothing to see here but it’s nice to see actual jobbers like Gomez and Renegade. They’re better than guys like Heath Slater….somehow. Anyway, not much here but it got the Canadians on TV for some reason.

Arn Anderson says he’s known Piper for a long time and that Hogan can be beaten, which he’s proven before. Flair told Anderson that Piper was the toughest fight he’s ever had and Anderson believes him. Piper is focused and Piper will give him a receipt. This is said over an NWO chant. Piper will be here next week.

Faces of Fear vs. Robert Gibson/Scotty Riggs

Barbarian pounds Riggs down quickly as we get a split screen of Bagwell joining the NWO last week and the NWO destroying the Faces of Fear and Harlem Heat. Off to Gibson as they work on the arm of Barbarian. Meng comes in and double teaming puts him down also. Meng takes over with the power game and the Faces of Fear hit their backdrop into a powerbomb spot to a big reaction.

A piledriver basically kills Riggs dead but Gibson makes the save. Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders at Starrcade. Riggs finally gets a breather and brings in Gibson. An enziguri puts Barbarian down but after a distraction by Meng, Barbarian kicks Gibson’s head off for the academic pin.

Rating: D. Total dominance here as the Faces of Fear have no one else to beat up on before Starrcade I guess. Gibson’s time had passed so he went to the WWF with Morton soon after this. Riggs would flounder until Raven showed up and gave him something to do soon after this. The match was nothing though.

Riggs hits the Faces of Fear with a chair to make them leave.

We see some clips from the Baltimore house show that I mentioned before between Sullivan vs. Benoit. They fought everywhere and into the bathroom. The Dungeon of Doom came out of the stalls to beat Benoit up. Back in the ring, Woman came in to save Benoit.

Kevin Sullivan vs. K.C. Sunshine

James is just barely more famous as Sean Casey from OVW. You shouldn’t recognize that name. Total dominance as Taskmaster sends him outside twice in two minutes before winning with the Tree of Woe and double stomp.

Sullivan says that after Baltimore, Benoit is hurt. Sullivan is hurt too and he’s got a story for Benoit. Sometimes the sweetness wears off and even if he has to dig his own grave, either Sullivan or Benoit will be buried alive because it’s about three instead of two.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Billy Kidman

The winner gets Dragon for the title at Starrcade. Also the US Title tournament ends at Starrcade. Very technical match of course with both guys fighting for control on the mat. Dean is sent to the floor but avoids a plancha. A powerbomb on the floor takes Kidman down as Sonny Onoo comes out to take pictures.

Brainbuster gets two for Dean back in the ring. Kidman gets in some knees and a middle rope dropkick for two. They trade pinning combinations with both guys getting a few twos. The match gets fast paced so let’s talk about Piper vs. Hogan. A superplex takes Kidman down but Onoo flashes his camera in Dean’s face. It doesn’t really matter as the Shooting Star gets knees and the Cloverleaf ends this soon thereafter.

Rating: C+. Fun match but the ending didn’t really make a lot of sense. What was the point of Onoo cheating if Dean was going to win clean just a few seconds later? I don’t really get this one but it could have been a lot worse. These two had some good chemistry and Kidman was starting to get more regular time which is a good thing.

Big Bubba vs. Jeff Jarrett

Hour #2 begins. Jarrett speeds things up to frustrate Bubba so the power is used to take Jeff right back down. Bubba chokes him down on the ropes and Jimmy helps a bit. Bubba accidentally clocks Jimmy and Jeff goes up top for a cross body for two. The Figure Four is countered and Jimmy throws in the Megaphone but Bubba misses. Jeff rolls him up for one and then dropkicks the Megaphone into Bubba’s face for the pin instead of a DQ.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but was there a reason as to why there wasn’t a DQ in there? Either way, this wasn’t anything of note. The Dungeon was so worthless at this point other than as heel jobbers but they kept the feud going with the Horsemen for about six months as Benoit was wasted with Sullivan.

The Steiners call out Sting again. He pops up in the rafters and stares, as is his custom. Rick shouts up a challenge and Sting nods.

Here’s the NWO minus Hogan. They storm the announce desk and apparently they’ll be running things now. Eric and the Outsiders are doing commentary now and we get a clip from what looks like 1995 of Hogan beating up Vader. Now we see a clip from a few months ago of the NWO beating Flair down. Now it’s Hogan beating down Savage and spraypainting his outline.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor takes over with European uppercuts to take Eddie down. A nice jumping headscissors takes Eddie down again and it’s off to a standing armbar. Eric says whoever wins the tournament has to defend against Giant. Eddie takes over, knocks Taylor down and the Frog Splash ends this quick.

Lee Marshall yells at Eric from Charlotte.

Arn Anderson vs. Jim Powers

Anderson sends him to the floor quickly and domination is on. Powers gets a cross body for two and Arn doesn’t seem thrilled by him hitting it. Anderson destroys him until Powers gets in his jobber offense, as in a clothesline and running kneelift. DDT ends this squash quickly.

US Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. William Regal

This should be good. Regal is TV Champion. Chain wrestling to start as they get into a test of strength position and fight over the control for the opening minute. Both guys use some nice moves to take the other to the mat. I think Regal is busted open. The camera goes wide so I’d assume there’s something wrong. They pound on each other in the corner and the wide shot gets a little annoying.

Regal hammers on him for awhile but Benoit comes back with chops and a slam. The Swan Dive hits but Benoit can’t cover. The delayed cover gets two so Regal tries a tombstone. Benoit reverses into one of his own and Regal goes to the floor. A dive misses and Regal takes over again. They go up top and Regal hits a butterfly superplex for two. Benoit grabs a release German and Hall makes fun of the wide shot which we’ve never left. The Dragon Suplex pins Regal.

Rating: B-. The place popped big for the win but the camera angle got pretty annoying. It’s pretty clear that it was due to the blood on Regal’s head which is something you can’t get around. They hammered on each other for a good while here and the physical style was a nice change of pace from what you usually see on Nitro.

The other Horsemen say things are great and Anderson wants to know what’s up with Woman. Benoit says it’s cool but Anderson doesn’t buy it. Mongo gets on him for it too. Debra doesn’t like Woman (calling her Nancy) either. She goes on a LONG rant about how Woman is going to tear everything apart. Anderson is worried and tells Benoit to get this together.

Lex Luger vs. Rocco Rock

Hall and Nash rip into Luger the whole time as Grunge helps to choke away. Luger gets in a few shots but gets caught in the cheating again. Now repeat that for about a minute and a half. Lex finally wises up and keeps things in the middle of the ring and Rock doesn’t have a chance. Grunge interferes again but the team finally collides and Rock gets caught in the Rack for the tap out.

Rating: D. This was another short match and nothing really happened in it. It’s more about keeping Luger on TV until they get something to do with him. Public Enemy never really fit in WCW and it’s getting pretty clear at this point. They would actually stick around for almost two years which really surprised me when I looked it up.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

Sting comes through the crowd as the NWO brags about how he’s their boy now. Sting has the bat but throws it away. He turns his back to Rick and Rick blasts him. Scott throws him back in and Rick pounds away. Death Drop kills Rick though and Sting picks up the bat and points it at both Steiners. He hands it to Rick and turns around but Scott stops the blast with it. Sting leaves.

Sting looks at the NWO and points the bat at them before leaving through the crowd.

The NWO brags about having Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was better but without Hogan and Piper around, there isn’t much going on here. The problem the shows with and without Hogan and Piper have is like comparing The Rise and Fall of ECW to Forever Hardcore. In Rise and Fall you can see all this stuff but without it they talk about everything so highly that you want to see it. The problem is that you get tired of hearing of it after awhile because you can only get so far on the talking. Piper is back next week though so a lot of those problems will be solved then. Still a pretty decent show though.

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This is on a Wednesday instead of the usual Thursday.

The announcers talk about Goldberg to open the show with Heenan almost on the verge of standing and applauding.

Public Enemy vs. Shiima Nabunaga/Tokyo Magnum

I hate to admit it, but Public Enemy had one of the catchiest themes I can remember in WCW. The Dragon Gate guys jump Public Enemy to start but are quickly clotheslined down and out to the floor. We start with Tokyo vs. Johnny with Magnum being put down with a pancake. Off to Rocco who misses a springboard moonsault, giving Shiima a two count. Shimma gets crotched on the top and everything breaks down. Tokyo gets caught in a double gutbuster and Shiima is put through the double stack of tables for the academic pin. Basically a squash.

Tokyo tries to dance with Public Enemy and gets punched in the face, drawing in Disco Inferno and Alex Wright to beat Public Enemy up.

Video on the basketball match.

Villano IV vs. The Cat

It sounds better than Ernest Miller if nothing else. Villano gets in a cheap shot to start which fits the whole villain gimmick. He stomps away in the corner but Cat comes back with a quick sunset flip for two and a kick to the head, living up to the whole karate guy gimmick. The other Villano tries to sneak in but gets kicked down as well, allowing Cat to hit his top rope kick to the face for the pin on V.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Judo Suwa

They trade chops to start with Suwa getting the better of it. Juvy gets a boot up to stop a charge in the corner and a headscissors sends Suwa out to the floor. A big dive takes Judo out and fires up the crowd a bit after all that talking put them to sleep. Back in and Suwa stomps on Juvy and hits a Vader Bomb for two. They run the ropes a bit with Juvy being sent out to the apron but he comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick to the back of the head. Kidman strolls out to ringside as Juvy hits two Juvy Drivers in a row for the pin.

Bash at the Beach ad.

The announcers talk about Sunday.

Another Bash at the Beach promo.

Stevie Ray vs. Konnan

The beating with the chair continues until Booker comes out in street clothes to stop his brother.

Video on Bret vs. Booker.

Raven/Horace vs. Saturn/Kanyon

Steve McMichael vs. Rick Fuller

As mentioned almost every time, Fuller is a guy who could have been excellent as a bodyguard for some cowardly heel. Fuller chops away to start but Mongo takes out the leg to put Fuller down. A very early tombstone attempt is broken up with a knee to the face but Mongo keeps pounding away in the corner. Mongo runs into a boot in the corner and Fuller pounds away before a legdrop gets two. McMichael comes back with a kick to the face of his own and the tombstone ends Fuller.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon

Video on Rodman.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

Here’s Bash at the Beach if you’re interested:

Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Jericho is stunned, yes STUNNED I say, that he lost and declares Mysterio Jr. the #1 contender. He continues to be the most entertaining thing in the entire company.

Doc Dean vs. Stevie Ray

British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart vs. Public Enemy

Back with Neidhart and Bulldog coming out for the actual match. Rocco and Neidhart get us going with Anvil hiptossing him down and quickly tagging in the Bulldog. Rock is sent to the floor for a breather and comes back in to take Neidhart into the Public Enemy corner. Off to Grunge As the scrapping style offense begins. A double elbow gets two on Neidhart but he fights over for the tag to Bulldog. Everything breaks down and here are Wright and Disco to beat down Grunge and Neidhart. They pick up the table in the ring as Bulldog is powerslamming Rocco, only to drive him through the raised table for the double DQ.

Raven talks about making all of the Flock members feel worthwhile.

Kidman vs. Saturn

After a quick chinlock Kidman gets two off a facebuster. Saturn comes back with a clothesline and a small package for two, only to be dropkicked right back down. Off to another chinlock by Kidman which is quickly let go so he can stomp on Saturn again. Saturn avoids a charge in the corner and the announcers speculate what a title change would mean for the PPV.

Kidman comes right back with a sitout spinebuster but gets crotched while going up for the Seven Year Itch. A superplex brings Kidman down again but Saturn has to superkick Lodi down. Kidman walks the corner for a bulldog but Saturn sweeps his legs out for another near fall. The Death Valley Driver is enough to pin Kidman a few seconds later.

Saturn challenges Raven for a match.

Mongo talks about wanting the Horsemen back. We get some clips from NFL Hall of Fame coach Mike Ditka talking about how awesome Mongo is. McMichael tells Anderson to put the team together again and watch what happens.

We see Giant chokeslamming Luger from last week.

Brian Adams vs. Bobby Blaze

Blaze tries a quick hiptoss but gets taken down by a big suplex instead. Naturally the announcers focus on this match but ignored the good Saturn vs. Kidman match. A knee to the head puts Blaze down for two but he comes back with a spinwheel kick. Not that it matters as Adams catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and an over the shoulder backbreaker gets the pin. Total squash.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Booker T

Booker is defending. Finlay jumps him before the bell like any good heel would do by firing off a series of European uppercuts. They head outside with Booker being rammed into various objects as this has been one sided so far. Booker is dropped throat first across the barricade for a two count inside. Finlay keeps pounding away on him and sends Booker into the corner but the champion comes out with him spinning sunset flip for two.

Finlay will have none of this offense from Booker and stomps him down again, only to have Booker come up with the Harlem sidekick to get a breather. The running forearm and a side slam get two each for the champion but Finlay uppercuts him down again. After some choking from the floor, Finlay kicks him in the face, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. The announcers are actually into the match surprisingly enough. Booker is tossed outside and Finlay calls for the tombstone, only to turn around and get caught by the missile dropkick for the pin.

Post match Booker says he’s coming for Bret until Stevie Ray says Booker needs to take care of business. triggering an argument between the brothers.

Konnan vs. Kanyon

Post match the Flock goes after Kanyon and Konnan comes back to try for a save, only to get beaten down as well. Luger comes out for the real save and clears the Flock out before calling out the Giant for the main event.

Lex Luger vs. Giant

Luger pounds away with right hands but Giant shoves him away and clotheslines Luger down. A splash gets two on Luger and Giant slows things down with his big man offense. Maybe all the cigarettes are taking their toll? Giant hits a LOUD chop in the corner and pounds away on his back. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Luger comes back with a jawbreaker to stun the big man. Luger hits his clotheslines and the forearm to set up the Rack but the Black and White comes in for the DQ. Nothing match.

Konnan gets beaten down as well until the Flock comes back in to go after Luger, triggering a three way brawl to end the show.

We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.

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