Monday Nitro – July 24, 2000: The Most Head Shaking Hour Of Wrestling Ever

Monday Nitro
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.

There’s a cage over the ring.

Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Booker T is coming to the ring.

Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!

Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).

Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.

Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.

Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.

David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.

The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.

Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?

Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.

Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.

Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.

We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams

I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.

In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.

Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.

Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.

Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.

Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.

Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???

It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.

Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.

After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon

Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.

Buff gives chase after a break.

Kidman still has a sex tape.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?

Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.

A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.

Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.

Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.

Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.

Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg

Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.

Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.

Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.

Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?

Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 24, 1997: Prince Iaukea Main Events

Monday Nitro #80
Date: March 24, 1997
Location: Duluth Convention Center, Duluth, Minnesota
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

Another Nitro this week with another stacked card of eleven matches. There isn’t much different from last week as Hogan is still afraid of Sting and the main feud is still Page vs. Savage for the PPV. Flair is still out with an injury as he would be for the next six weeks or so. There just isn’t much to talk about at the moment and there won’t be for a few more months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s challenge from Savage to Page.

Opening sequence, which still has Hogan in the red and yellow as the featured person.

Larry Hennig is here.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Konnan

Dean is defending and has a big bandage over his left eye. Apparently tonight DiBiase has ordered WCW to give Savage a TV Title match vs. Prince Iaukea. Konnan takes him to the mat and grabs a leg hold which Dean escapes into a standoff. Konna hits him in the back as we hear from Syxx about Dean Malenko. It’s implied that Eddie and Syxx have something going on. Konnan powerbombs him down for two. Dean comes back with a leg lariat but Konnan hooks La Majistral for two. Konnan misses a “dropkick” off the top so Dean can grab the Cloverleaf to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the match existed to let Syxx talk. Dean was awesome at this point and could hang with anyone, which is why his match with Benoit at Spring Stampede was probably a good idea. Konnan looked better than usual here but he would join the NWO later in the year and ruin whatever he had going for him.

Dean thinks Eddie and Syxx are in cahoots.

We get a clip from Uncensored of Wrath debuting and attacking Glacier after he beat Mortis.

Mortis vs. Jerry Flynn

Dang I thought this was Jerry Lynn at first. They trade missed kicks until Mortis runs him over with a shoulder block. Flynn kicks him down but Mortis hits a reverse mule kick in the corner to take over. Since he’s not that smart, Mortis poses on the ropes and Flynn kicks him down to take over. Jerry charges into a superkick though and a spinwheel kick puts Flynn down again. A middle rope Fameasser gets two but Flynn powerbombs him out of the corner to take over again. Mortis kicks him down twice and the Flatliner (Samoan Drop from the middle rope) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This is a match where the styles contrasted badly. Martial arts vs. martial arts isn’t a pairing that is going to work most of the time and when one of the guys is Jerry Flynn, the match is going to be pretty bad most of the time. Mortis was a character that was hard to use properly because he was pretty one dimensional and was only there to torment Glacier. His offense was pretty good though.

La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera

La Parka has a sombrero, what looks like a skull covered bathrobe and a belt with a skull larger than his head in the middle. Juvy hits a spin kick to start but La Parka comes back with his strut. This would be the start of his more famous personality. Juvy knocks him to the floor and hits a HUGE dive to the outside to take Parka out. Back in a springboard missile dropkick gets two but La Parka takes him down with a clothesline.

A springboard moonsault completely misses (even Tony says so) but it gets two anyway. A spinwheel kick puts Juvy down to the floor and a bit dive puts Guerrera down again. Juvy comes back with a (mostly missed) springboard flip dive followed by an attempted top rope rana, but Parka powerbombs him down from the top. La Parka goes up and hits what we would call the Whisper in the Wind for the pin.

Rating: B-. When all else fails, let two luchadores go out and show off for the crowd. These guys were flying all over the place and looked great doing it. It got the crowd going too which is more than almost anything did last week. La Parka wasn’t quite known for his high flying but he did it well enough here. Good stuff.

We get a clip from Souled Out with the Steiners winning the titles, only to get screwed out of them the next night. Bischoff was then suspended a few weeks ago so he can’t return the titles later. The Outsiders ran the Steiners off the road in a car wreck and then laid out Rick Steiner. This was a very well built feud, but the problem was the Steiners never got the big win over the Outsiders, so the payoff was never there, making the whole thing a letdown to the fans.

The Steiners say they’re ready for Spring Stampede, in a match that never happened because Scott Hall no showed the show.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

See how deep the tag division used to be? Public Enemy cleans the ring out quickly until we get down to Rocco vs. Rage. High Voltage takes over and it’s off to Kaos with a double ax off the top. Back to Rage who slams him down but misses a standing moonsault. Double tag brings in Kaos and Grunge (what names these teams have) and Public Enemy cleans house. They hit a springboard version of the Quebecers’ Cannonball but opt to put Rage on the table instead. A springboard dive puts Rage through it and here’s Jarrett with the briefcase to the head of Grunge so Kaos can get the pin.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it was nothing of note. High Voltage was usually the jobbing team so this was a pretty sizable upset at the time. The match was there to further the Horsemen vs. Public Enemy, which was a feud I’m sure dozens of people were dying to see. The double team flip dives weren’t bad though.

Giant talks about having to possibly face Lex in the four corners match at the PPV. For some reason they had a four corners match with Harlem Heat vs. Luger vs. Giant with the winner getting a title shot which didn’t wind up coming for about three months. Giant doesn’t want to fight Lex and Lex says he can feel the balance of power shifting because of Sting.

Super Calo vs. Psychosis

Psychosis starts with a spin kick but Calo fires off kicks to the chest to take over. He climbs the corner but his spinning cross body winds up being more of an armdrag. Psychosis crotches him on top and hits a spinwheel kick to the back of the head. Crucifix gets two for Calo and he dropkicks Psychosis to the floor. Back in and Psychosis slams him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not much here as the match was sloppy at times and the ending came out of absolutely nowhere. Calo controlled most of the match until Psychosis hit one move and then his finisher. This was a far cry from the other cruiserweight match earlier in the night so it’s not as easy as it looks.

Hour #2 starts so we hit the recap button even though there isn’t much to recap.

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus

Brawl to start as Tenay says this is a real life feud with Benoit vs. Sullivan. Morrus hits a gorilla press on Benoit followed by a running corner splash. We get what sounds like a MORRUS chant. Benoit comes back with a release German but Konnan shoves him down when he’s loading up the Swan Dive. No Laughing Matter gets the quick pin.

Sullivan comes out for the three way beatdown but Malenko, who isn’t a Horseman yet, comes out for a failed save. Flair comes out for the real save in his first physical action in almost six months. Benoit and Malenko stare each other down.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat

This is a rematch from Saturday Night which was thrown out for something involving Luger and the Giant. Booker and Barbarian start things off. They get into a power struggle, won by the Samoan. The Faces of Fear double team Booker to the floor as the Heat are in trouble early. Back in and Booker hits a spinning cross body off the top for two. Off to Stevie who uses his usual array of stomps.

Meng comes in and will have none of Stevie’s bad offense so he hits him in the face. Back to Barbarian as Stevie is in trouble. Never mind as a big boot to the face puts Barbarian down. I know Stevie has never been considered brilliant but apparently he doesn’t know his Samoan stereotypes. A middle rope ax kick puts Barbarian down but Meng comes in for a double headbutt to take over on Booker. Booker tries a slam but Meng falls on him for tow.

Booker gets taken into the wrong corner and it’s off to Barbarian for more punishment. Side salto gets two. Back to Meng for an abdominal stretch but Sherri’s distraction lets Stevie comes in sans tag, which is just fine apparently. Booker comes back in almost immediately, being launched off the top onto Meng for no cover. The side kick gets two on Meng. Meng hits a sitout powerbomb out of nowhere for two and everything breaks down. Meng misses a charge in the corner, hitting Sherri in the process, which allows Booker to grabs a fast rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where if you cut out about two minutes of it, the match would be a lot better. It’s also very apparent how much more talented Booker was than Stevie, as Booker carried the offense for his team while Stevie did little more than stomp on either Samoan at any given time. The Faces of Fear were great in the jobber to the stars tag team role.

Here are the Horsemen, as in Benoit and Flair, to talk about Anderson being attacked last week. Benoit thinks it was Sullivan but wants to know why Malenko made the save earlier. Flair offers Piper the spot on the team again.

Madusa vs. Malia Hosaka

This is another of those random WCW women’s matches. They shove each other to start and Hosaka puts on a Boston Crab. The fans chant USA as Tony talks about Glacier for some reason. Off to a chinlock by Hosaka which is pretty easily countered. She tries a rolling cradle but Madusa stands there instead of falling down. Madusa grabs the bridging German for the pin. Too short to rate but this was pretty bad.

Jim Duggan vs. Renegade

Apparently Renegade was too rough on Saturday Night against Riggs. This is part of Renegade’s heel turn which was one of the most questionable decisions ever. Not that it was a bad idea, but because no one was sure why someone gave Renegade an angle at all. Wait if he’s a heel now why is he slapping hands? Duggan beats up an NWO sign with his board. Duggan is in gold boots here for some reason. He sets to wrap his fist with tape but throws it to the fans instead.

Feeling out process to start with Renegade not really acting any differently than he usually did on these shows. Tony implies that WWF might be trying to steal Renegade for some reason. If so then they’re picking a bad guy to steal as Duggan hammers him down and then into the corner to take over. They try a bulldog out of the corner but Duggan falls down like a headlock takeover. Off to a chinlock followed by the cartwheel elbow in the corner. Duggan gets another roll of tape for the punch to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Diamond Dallas Page, Giant, Luger and I could go on. These are people that didn’t have a match this week but these two guys got to be on TV with a heel turn for Renegade in the process. Then they have Duggan beat him? What in the world was the point of this?

Video on Sting and how WCW needs him.

Steiner Brothers vs. Amazing French Canadians

The Canadians do the national anthem before the match. Scott and Pierre start us off and Steiner hits a butterfly powerbomb to take over. The Steiners clear the ring but Scott gets in trouble for a bit. Pierre slams him down but jumps into the boot of Scott. There’s the tag to Rick and everything breaks down. The idea is that Rick is still messed up because of his ear injury from the car wreck. Jacques piledrives Rick but Colonel Parker misses his flag pole shot. Cannonball hits Rick but there’s no referee. Parker’s boot is thrown in but Rick intercepts it and blasts Pierre for the pin.

Rating: D-. Another horrible match here with no point to it at all. The Canadians were just not that good and certainly weren’t interesting at all. Then again it may have been Colonel Parker and his annoyances that kept me from caring here. Either way the match was bad with neither team seeming interested at all.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Randy Savage

Main event time. The full NWO comes out because Randy Savage needs support against Prince freaking Iaukea. Nash shouts to HBK on the way to the ring. Apparently the title challenge isn’t just a one off thing. The NWO can challenge for any title anytime forever. Prince hits a shoulder for two and Savage hits the floor.

Back in and Iaukea hits a springboard cross body for two. A top rope cross body misses and Savage clotheslines him on the top rope to take over. Savage drops the elbow but pulls him up at two. Page runs in for the DQ, because why would he want to face Savage for the TV Title? To be fair I guess the idea is that he wanted to hurt Savage no matter what. I can live with that.

Rating: D. Unfortunately this was long enough to rate. Iaukea was so freaking boring and bland that there was almost no way to care about him. Savage facing him here was such a weird matchup as it was in essence a squash match for a title, which isn’t something you often see. This was nothing but a way for Page to run in though.

Page gets destroyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This really was a tale of two hours. The first one was good and had some solid action, but the second hour was just dreadful, with bad matches that weren’t interesting at all. I mean come on, Prince Iaukea in the main event of a show? Thankfully there’s only one more episode before Spring Stampede so we can move on to the next boring PPV build. This show was a chore to sit through, at least in the second half.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 17, 1997: The Summer Funk Begins

Monday Nitro #79
Date: March 17, 1997
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Uncensored and the big story is that Sting has declared his loyalty for WCW by attacking the NWO to close the show last night. At the same time though it’s not all good for the purple and gold (WCW for you young people out there) as the NWO won the main event last night, basically giving them unlimited power in the company. There are eleven matches tonight so expect some quick finishes. Let’s get to it.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Mysterio takes him to the mat to start and controls from behind. Psychosis takes him to the mat as we see the Japanese announce table which has Ultimo Dragon sans mask. Rey tries to do his kickoff out of a test of strength position but they mistime it horribly. A springboard headscissors sends Psychosis to the floor and Rey follows it with a rana off the apron. Back in and Psychosis rams him stomach first into the buckle. Psychosis misses a charge into the post and Rey hits a flip dive to the floor. West Coast Pop is HORRIBLY botched as Psychosis’ head is drive into the mat ala a piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C-. I haven’t seen Rey botch this much stuff in years. The ending was almost scary as Psychosis just stopped moving when his head got driven into the mat like that. The match wasn’t horrible but with two noticeable botches in three and a half minutes, how good can you consider a match?

Arn Anderson says Sting came home last night, but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. He was injured at Halloween Havoc and has to have neck surgery. Arn talks about how his grandmother stayed alive long enough to see him become a mature adult. Last night he saw his family, the Horsemen, mature. He also saw Sullivan’s son recently and it looks like the Sullivan family has broken up completely. Anderson says he’ll be back, but he never would be, at least not in the ring.

We recap last night with Savage and Liz attacking Kimberly and Page. They spray painted Kimberly when page was down.

Maxx vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Maxx is a muscle guy who is part of the Dungeon of Doom. There’s a slight chance that he’s the same guy that played Maxx Muscle, who was Page’s bodyguard back in 1995. This is a squash, with Page hitting a top rope splash of all things. He escapes a full nelson and hits the Cutter for the quick pin in maybe a minute and a half.

Page says he’s hunting for Savage and Liz. We’re also told possibly for the first time that Page and Kimberly are married in real life. Savage is a dead man walking. Page starts to leave but Savage and Liz are in the crowd. Savage says he’s the icon and Page is the wrestler with no name. Talk of a non-sanctioned match is mentioned but Savage says it’ll be later. Page charges into the crowd but Savage gets away.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Renegade/Joe Gomez

Before the match here are Bischoff and the Outsiders to take over the announce desk. Actually scratch that as they just have an announcement: they’ll be getting in the ring tonight but no opponents are mentioned. Apparently them getting to challenge for any title they want according to the stipulations from the main event last night now means the champions get to pick when they wrestle ever.

Back to the match which starts with Morrus jumping Gomez and working over his knee. Konnan comes in quickly and kicks at said knee. The Dungeon trades off a few times but the offense doesn’t improve at all. The announcers talk about Spring Stampede a bit as not much is going on during the match. A clothesline puts Gomez down and Konnan comes back in for a half crab. After about three minutes of leg work Gomez finally tags in Renegade. He cleans house for about fifteen seconds and then tags back out when Gomez can’t even stand. It takes about ten seconds to hit No Laughing Matter for the pin on Joe.

Rating: D. This was a dull match and it seems like they were trying to set up a feud between Renegade and Gomez for who knows what reason. The match was boring as it was about four minutes of leg work followed by the angle to end the show. Gomez stayed around for a long time and never did anything at all.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Malenko won the title last night. Riggs lost a strap match to Bagwell last night so he gets a title match tonight. Makes perfect sense right? Scotty hits a quick dropkick to start but it only gets two. Dean will have none of that and sends Riggs to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts. Riggs makes a quick comeback with his jobber level offense before he gets caught in a hot shot. Dean grabs a rolling cradle for the pin to retain fast.

Lex Luger/The Giant vs. The Knuckles

That would be Knuckles Nelson and T. Rantula. I don’t know about you, but I’m smelling an upset here. Giant and Rantula start us off and the man who would be Peter Parker is thrown back into his own corner quickly. Nelson comes in and this is squash territory already. Giant works him over in the corner for awhile until Rantula comes in to help. That goes nowhere either and it’s a chokeslam for Nelson. Luger walks in without a tag and powerslams Rantula as Giant pins Nelson. Luger Racks Rantula post match. Total squash.

Luger and Giant talk about Sting coming back last night. We get some clips from the show with Sting destroying the NWO as Giant talks about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Luger says it made him believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. These guys do know they lost the main event right?

We get some stills from last night with Mortis vs. Glacier. Wrath debuted post match to beat down Glacier.

Bobby Eaton vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon stalls on the floor to start so Eaton punches him in the face. And never mind as Dragon puts him on top and hits a rana for the pin. This wasn’t even a minute and a half.

Here’s the NWO in full force. Hogan and Bischoff brag about winning last night and talk about being able to challenge for any title. That would be the TV and US Titles, unless you want to count the Women’s belt if that exists yet. Savage says he’ll face Page at some point. Nash says the Outsiders will face the Steiners at Spring Stampede. That would wind up being Rick vs. Nash for the titles. During this announcement, Hall takes a beer to the head. In PERFECT response, he wipes his hair as he is known to do.

Call the NWO hotline!

Hour #2 begins and it seems a lot later than usual. We do the usual recap.

Alex Wright/Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jarrett and Wright start things off with Alex firing off some dropkicks. Jarrett takes him down and Mongo drops an elbow on the back of Wright’s head to take over. There’s a side slam and it’s back to Jarrett. Tony calls that a solid tag. How can a tag exactly be solid? Everything breaks down with Starr diving over Mongo which is called a chop block. Figure Four ends Starr quick.

Public Enemy comes out and beats up the Horsemen post match. The Horsemen fight them off and then go to talk to Gene. Apparently these teams are going to be fighting at the PPV. Debra screeches a bit and Jarrett says he’s walking the walk now. Mongo dares the people to boo Debra, again not seeming to know if he’s a face or a heel.

Lee Marshall does his schtick.

Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Norton runs him over and Chavo bails to the floor. Back in and Chavo goes after the knee but Norton won’t go down. Two more shots to it and he still won’t go down. A missile dropkick won’t put Norton down and a sunset flip doesn’t either. Norton powerbombs him to death to end this. Norton wouldn’t sell a thing here.

Hogan and Rodman talk about nothing of note.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Benoit and Woman have something to say but Flair comes out before they can start. Benoit talks about Sullivan of course and Flair blames Piper for the loss last night. Ric isn’t worried about Arn because he’s tough. As for Piper, he can come be a Horseman and take Arn’s spot. That’s quite the offer.

Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Scott and Booker get us going with Booker hitting a fast side kick. He walks into a gorilla press slam though and it’s off to Rick. Stevie comes in to stomp away and adds in some punches for good measure. They trade powerslams as it’s time to talk about Sting. Booker comes in and side slams Rick down but it’s off to Scott who cleans house. Everything breaks down and it’s the NWO in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was just filler until the NWO got there for no apparent reason. I guess it was to beat down the tag teams like the black and white used to do but it didn’t quite work as well. These teams seem a level or two beneath the NWO, but at the same time the NWO has beaten up everyone so many times that it doesn’t mean much when they beat up the main event guys anymore.

Luger and Giant come out for the save and clear the ring. Sting drops from the ceiling to end the show. He stands with WCW and that’s it. Hogan is terrified.

Overall Rating: D+. WCW hit a MAJOR funk over the summer, as the world title wouldn’t be defended on PPV from March until August, making most of the PPV main events totally worthless. Spring Stampede would be Savage vs. Page, the next month would be a six man tag and the third would be Rodman/Hogan vs. Luger/Giant. There were no major matches to build to so there was little going on in the way of television. This was a good example of that, as aside from Page and Savage getting set up, almost nothing happened here. That would be the case for the next few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 10, 1997: What Kind Of A Nightclub Is This?

Monday Nitro #78
Date: March 10, 1997
Location: Club La Vela, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

This is a theme show as we’re in a night club in Florida with pools everywhere. This would be the start of what was called Spring Breakout which was an annual event if I remember right. This is also the go home show for Uncensored 1997 so I’d assume we’ll get the real Team Piper introduced tonight as well as the rules for the main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Rodman fawning over Rodman’s new movie poster. It’s for Double Team which was awful.

The arena looks great as we have the ring kind of on a platform surrounded by a big pool.

Piper and his team, all in Scottish clothes, arrive.

High Voltage vs. Steve McMichael/Jeff Jarrett

Mongo vs. Kaos gets us going. Kaos tries to Control (five points to anyone that gets that) the arm but Mongo fires off his football tackles. Off to Jarrett who hits the running hip attack on the ropes but Rage interferes to take over. A modified Samoan Drop by Rage sets up a slingshot splash by Kaos for two. The fans want Flair but they get a suplex by Kaos to bring Rage back in. Jarrett moves from a flying dive and beats them both up with ease before tagging in Mongo. We go over some of the stipulations for Uncensored which I’ll get to later. Tombstone ends Rage.

Rating: D. This was an extended workout for the Horsemen. Jarrett was in trouble for about 30 seconds and then came back and easily beat up both guys. I guess this is them proving that they’re ok now and can work together, but it doesn’t make their story any more interesting. This was pretty much a squash.

Here’s Team Piper to talk about Uncensored. After a quick chat about sex and mattresses, Piper complains about Howard Stern not having him on his show. As for Rodman, Piper makes some almost gay jokes and runs down the WWF. They’ve been making fun of WCW for having one hipped wrestlers, but he beat up Goldust on PPV on one hip. Anyway, these guys are his family now….and here come the Horsemen.

Anderson says that this Sunday is a job for professionals, not amateurs. They have a common enemy in the NWO and maybe they can work together to pull this thing off. Piper says these guys that he’s known for a week are his family, so Flair tries to talk him out of it too. Flaiir says Piper is outmatched and needs some backup in the form of the Horsemen. Piper gyrates and puts on Flair’s coat after Ric throws it in the air. Piper says ok and the Family is never mentioned again.

TV Title: Dave Taylor vs. Prince Iaukea

After about 20 seconds of the match, here’s the NWO in their Hummer limo. They’re going in the back because Hall “knows the dishwasher.” Ok then. Since there are about 30 guys, someone (Wallstreet I think) is dropped down onto the ground. The A Team doesn’t bother checking on him. Back in the arena the wrestlers trade pinfall attempts for one. Iaukea hits a cross body for the pin. We saw about 45 seconds of this.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Jim Powers

Dean is on commentary and says that Eddie is jealous of Dean. Eddie takes him down to the mat to start and works on the knee for a bit. Dean goes over the reasons why he’s better than Eddie which are pretty awesome. He suggests that Eddie cheats to win too much as Powers does his usual stuff. Eddie easily comes back and hits the slingshot hilo for two. Teddy gets up on the apron, only to have Powers rammed into him. Eddie gets the rollup to retain. This was nothing but Dean’s comments were pretty good.

Eddie says that he isn’t the one that’s been saying all these things. He isn’t punching and kicking and choking is he? Gene agrees but says Eddie has been changing. Eddie is tired of hearing about that and is also tired of Dean’s attitude.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman

Pittman shoves him around to start so Page grabs a headlock. A hip toss attempt is countered so Page hits a kind of X Factor. Pittman says screw this wrestling stuff and takes Page down, pounding him with right hands. A bad belly to belly gets two for Sarge. Page fires away with punches and hits the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but it was another win for Page which is what he needed. Sometimes the right move is just to keep putting someone on TV and let him hit a popular move over and over again. It worked for Page and he would rise up the card to main event PPVs in just a few months.

Page talks about Savage….and the power goes out. Page keeps going because I don’t think he realizes the audio is out. The lights are out though so you would think he picked up on that. Post break Page gets to say it again and basically it’s I’m coming for you Savage.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Galaxy

Galaxy is better known as Damien. Larry talks about Page needing to keep the rats away from him, which Tony needs clarification on in an unintentionally funny bit. Rey escapes a full nelson to start and speeds things up. Galaxy gets flipped around a lot and is almost launched into the pool. Galaxy tries Old School but gets crotched for his efforts. He misses a moonsault and West Coast Pop ends this short match.

Hour #2.

The announcers talk for a bit.

Gene brings out some guy named John Sencio from MTV. He brings out Miss Monday Nitro who is some blonde. Catch the NWO on MTV this week and that’s about it.

Amazing French Canadians/Greg Valentime/Roadblock vs. Lex Luger/The Giant/Steiner Brothers

We get the full rules of the main event here: if Team Piper wins, Piper gets a cage match with Hogan eventually. If the NWO wins, they get any title match they want, anywhere. What titles do they not own at the moment anyway? TV and US? This would later be changed to they basically had no rules on them and could do anything. If WCW wins, the NWO loses all their titles and all of their wrestlers are banned from competing for THREE YEARS. Luger and Valentine start and the match is as much of a squash as you would expect. Rick gets beaten on for a few seconds before Giant chokeslams Roadblock for the pin.

Team WCW says they’ll win.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon

Juvy immediately slides under Dragon to start and they both miss some shots. Dragon misses a running double ax in the corner but Juvy’s rana is countered. Dragon throws him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Back in Dragon channels his inner Sting and no sells chops. There are the rapid fire kicks and Juvy is in trouble.

Dragon hits his spinning rack breaker for two. Surfboard goes on followed by a chinlock. Juvy escapes pretty quickly and hits a flip dive on the floor, which is impressive given the small space between the ring and the water. Back in Juvy gets a rollup for two, followed by a good looking kick to the head. Dragon hits a Liger Bomb for two, followed by the super rana and Tiger Suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad at all but it was pretty much a filler match. Dragon wasn’t your usual cruiserweight but he could fly fairly well when need be. Juvy on the other hand was a great flier, but he needed someone that could keep up with him like Rey of Kidman. Not a bad match but at under five minutes, what are you expecting here?

Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs’ suspenders never quite worked on him. He starts off in control with a dropkick and a slam for two. We’re in a jawbreaker less than a minute in but Jericho escapes with a quick jawbreaker. Overhead belly to belly puts Riggs onto the apron so Jericho can hit his springboard dropkick. A suplex back in gets two. Riggs comes back with dropkicks and no one cares. I mean at all. Jericho crotches him on the top but Scotty manages to hit a top rope clothesline for two. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two and here’s Buff Bagweel to attack Riggs with a strap for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Riggs was one of the most uninteresting guys in years. The only thing he had was to feud with Bagwell and once everyone realized that no one cared about the American Males feuding, all they could do was put him in the Flock, which really just prolonged his career instead of improving it.

Madusa says the same thing as last week. She still wants the title and wants Luna too.

Lee Marshall does his thing.

Hardbody Harrison vs. Kevin Sullivan

Harrison is most famous for suing WCW for not getting pushed because he was black. His lack of talent probably had more to do with it but why let that get in the way of a lawsuit? Total domination and Jackie gets to beat up Harrison a bit. Harrison gets a pair of rollups for two and they go outside again. Tony gets the guy’s name wrong and they fight to a double countout. By fight I mean Harrison gets beaten up.

Sullivan beats him up on the beach. Back to ringside and Harrison gets thrown in the water to a big pop. Sullivan, Jackie and Hart say their usual stuff post beating.

Here’s the NWO to close the show. The main thing here is that we need to confirm that Dennis Rodman is part of the NWO. We get an extended version of the thing that opened the show with Rodman getting an NWO shirt. Sting gets handed his NWO shirt but never puts it on, which is ignored by Hogan and Bischoff. The Outsiders are ready for the Steiners, Giant and Luger. Savage doesn’t remember DDP’s name and Sting has nothing to say on the subject. The segment ends and Heenan asks a very good question: with Bischoff’s power suspended, how do they get promo time?

With literally two and a half minutes left in the show, here are Public Enemy for a promo. They run down the Horsemen for bailing out on their tag match and taking the main event spot. Harlem Heat jumps them and we’re done. What a strange ending.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is a good example of the absence of good. The show isn’t really bad or anything, but nothing in the two hours that it was on was what I would call good. Most of the stuff on it is watchable and none of it is what I would call horrible or even bad, but the show did a pretty bad job of building to the PPV. I know about two matches on the card and the main event was literally not explained at all. I have no idea what the match is going to be like based on this show. That’s certainly a strategy for building a PPV up, but it was also used on the Doomsday Cage match so take it for what it’s worth.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/09/02/uncensored-1997-sting-vs-hogan-begins/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 3, 1997: Worst Show Of The Series So Far

Monday Nitro #77
Date: March 3, 1997
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,693
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Uncensored and we need to get the main event established already. So far we know it’s Team WCW vs. Team NWO but if my memory is right, tonight we’ll hear about a third team being added. This show would be going against Raw in Germany which had Bulldog vs. Owen in one of the best TV matches ever, so I think Nitro is going to lose in the quality war tonight. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives in what looks like a Hummer limo. After they come in another limo pulls up, containing Dr. Harvey Schiller, the real head of Turner Sports. Again with WCW’s idea of having real suits with no connection to the business playing themselves.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Morrus and Jarrett get us going and it’s time to talk about the Dr. that showed up earlier on. Jarrett speeds things up and takes Morrus down with a shoulder and an atomic drop. Morrus comes back with right hands and brings in Konnan with the rolling clothesline. Morrus tries a spinning cross body while Konnan holds Jarrett, but Jeff low blows K-Dawg and Konnan takes the fat man. Mongo cleans house but here’s Public Enemy. Jarrett swings the briefcase at Rocco but it blasts Mongo for the pin.

Rating: D-. How many weeks in a row have we seen these two have some kind of a mishap that leads to a pin? It seemed to go on for months on end and it would continue over the summer. Jarrett didn’t get over because of this and he made the right move by jumping to the WWF in the fall.

Here are Anderson and Flair to complain about the miscommunication. Jarrett says that he’s Horsemen material but Flair gets in his face. Ric says Jarrett is making Flair look bad. Now THAT says a lot. Mongo yells a lot and Debra starts talking, drawing some LOUD booing. She doesn’t want to be on a losing team so GET IT TOGETHER.

Rick Fuller vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Fuller is a big guy standing probably 6’7. Page works on the arm to start followed by a belly to back. Fuller powers him down and drops a leg for two. The fans chant for DDP so he hits the spinning clothesline to take Fuller down. A slam is reversed into the Diamond Cutter for the easy pin. Fuller had a good look.

Page talks about the NWO beating him down last week and focuses on Savage in particular. He tells Savage to snap into the Diamond Cutter.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ray Mendoza Jr.

That’s Mendoza, not Mysterio and he’s more famous as Villano IV. Mendoza tries to make this a technical match by taking it to the mat which makes sense against Guerrera. Juvy is like screw that in Spanish and hits a pair of ranas to send Mendoza to the floor. The plancha misses though and Mendoza takes over again. Back in an overhead belly to belly gets two. Juvy takes over and hits a springboard legdrop for two.

Off to a chinlock so the guys can catch their breath which is fine. Back up and a victory roll into a rana gets two for Juvy. Mendoza gets backdropped to the floor and they ignore the DQ rule because they want to. Juvy hits a suicide dive but Mendoza kicks away at him anyway. A slingshot rana brings Mendoza back in and they both go to the corner. They both go up and Mendoza gets crotched. A spinwheel kick puts him down and the 450 (to the knees) ends this.

Rating: D+. This was a lot sloppier than you would expect. The match wasn’t bad but other than Rey, you could more or less throw any Cruiserweight from another country and throw him in these spots and it would be about the same. Then again, this was still pretty new stuff at the time so it’s ok.

Kevin Sullivan, Jackie and Jimmy Hart take over the announcers’ desk and Jackie takes credit for Benoit and Woman not being here. She challenges any man on the roster, throwing out names like Hogan, Nash and Savage. Why is she allowed to talk? Who thinks it’s a good idea?

Hank Aaron is here.

Mike Enos vs. Dean Malenko

Malenko is all fired up here because of Eddie ticking him off and costing him the title if I remember right. He chokes Enos in the corner and takes out the knee. They head to the floor and Malenko works on the leg using the barricade. Back in and Enos finally gets in a knee lift to slow Dean down. And never mind as Dean takes the knee out again almost immediately. Malenko hits a top rope cross body but Enos rolls through for two. A clothesline puts Malenko down but a splash misses. Enos tries a slam but Dean small packages him for the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically just a squash but it was fun to see Dean going OFF like this, showing emotion for almost the first time in his career. He would pick up the US Title at the PPV, which should have been a step up in the card for him and to a degree it was, but he never really moved past that. To be fair, Malenko didn’t exactly have the charisma to get much higher.

Dean says he’ll do that to anyone that gets in his way.

Here’s Bischoff who says he would love to put up the NWO’s belts at Uncensored because they’re awesome like that. As he brags about how great the NWO is, here’s Harvey Schiller. Once we actually explain who he is (he’s in charge of Turner’s Sports and Bischoff’s real life boss), he says that Bischoff has to follow rules which he hasn’t been doing. Therefore, Eric is SUSPENDED. This was a big deal and it was one of the first big shots that WCW got back against the NWO. And of course WCW capitalized on it and won the war within 4 months right?

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

Eddie is defending. The fans chant USA and it’s a feeling out process to start. Eddie takes him down with a headscissors but gets sent to the floor. Sonny tries to fire some kicks but Eddie is having none of that. He will however have some of Dragon’s kicks, including a spinwheel kick to take him down. Eddie rolls through a cross body and even though his feet are in the ropes, Dragon’s shoulder was up and Eddie is rolling on top of Dragon, the pin counts. That was a major botch of some kind and Eddie looks stunned by whatever happened.

Eddie says he’s tried to apologize to Dean so here’s Malenko in the flesh. Dean says he knows what Eddie’s true colors are and Eddie has no idea what’s going on. They yell a lot and that’s about it.

Hour #2 begins.

Scotty Riggs vs. Mr. Wallstreet

This is a fine example of people that remember Nitro being all drama and young guys having great matches. A lot of the time we had stuff like this to sit through. Riggs takes over quickly and hits a double ax to the head for two. Wallstreet sends him to the floor and does nothing out there, so let’s go back inside.

Schiller has officially made the main event for Uncensored, but it’s going to be a three way match with Piper having a team as well. We hit the chinlock but Riggs jawbreaks his way out of it. Elbow drop misses and Wallstreet takes over again. Riggs comes back with a middle rope missile dropkcik and a top rope sunset flip for two. And here’s Buff Bagwell for the DQ because MICHAEL FREAKING WALLSTREET has to be protected.

Rating: D. This got four minutes and a DQ finish. Look at the participants in this match for a minute and let that sink in. Riggs vs. Bagwell was such a pathetic feud and it was about as close to the Billy and Chuck of their day as you can get. Nothing here and for the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t just have a regular ending.

Piper is here because I guess he heard the announcement about getting a team and warped over. He talks about beating Hogan twice and calls the Outsiders cloned monkeys. Piper has two families: one in Oregon and one here with the fans. He’s going to make a third family out of people he…..oh sweet goodness not this. He’s going to have a series of tryouts tonight and the three winners make his team. Assuming there was nothing set up in a different kind of time frame, this was all set up within the last eight minutes or so. The fans are going to get to decide who makes his team.

Now keep in mind: three of these six guys will headline a WINNER TAKE ALL match on PPV in 13 days. Piper gets down to his trunks and the first guy is…..some dude in jeans. Tony: “I have no idea who that is.” Piper takes him down in an amateur position and the guy taps to a hammerlock very quickly. That’s a thumbs down.

Guy #2 is Horshu, who is more famous as Luther Reigns, who isn’t named Horshu yet and would only become a WCW Saturday Night guy in a few years. He fires off some left hands but gets put to sleep quickly.

#3 is a guy but “some guy with boxing gloves” jumps him. He looks like a cross between Eugene and Steve Williams. Piper has boxing gloves in his trunks for no apparent reason and let’s have a boxing match. Piper punches him into oblivion, gets knocked down then beats up Boxing Guy again, until Boxing Guy takes out the legs. The fans are starting to boo. Piper says bring it on and eventually gives the guy a spot on his team.

Wait we’re not done with Boxing guy because Piper says the fans are being too harsh so let’s fight some more. They take the gloves off and fight for about 20 more seconds before finally giving up on it.

#4 (I guess?) is a big fat guy who REALLY looks like Steve Williams. He’s barefoot so Tenay declares him a martial artist. Heenan: “He’s barefoot and tattooed. Sounds like the winner of the Miss Kentucky contest.” Piper gets kicked down but comes back with kicks of his own. He’s a legit black belt in Judo so he actually knows what he’s doing in a fight. This is before the letters UFC meant anything though, as they were only on their 12th show. The martial artist (none of them have had a name so far) gets totally gassed but tries to throw Piper out anyway. Piper escapes and gives this guy a spot on the team.

The final guy is John Tenta who at least gets a reaction because people know who he is. After a quick fight, the other teammates get in and it’s a big brawl. There’s the team I guess. Piper says it’s war with the NWO now. Thankfully this lasted about 5 minutes before WCW forgot these people existed and put in Jarrett, Benoit and Mongo instead. This got EIGHTEEN MINUTES. Let that sink in for a minute.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Mr. JL

Prince Iaukea gets to talk during this match for some reason. Rey takes over to start with a corkscrew dive for two. JL throws him into the air and brings him down into a DDT for a delayed two. He goes up but misses a diving headbutt. They go to the floor and JL hits a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Rey ranas him down for two. Rey finally gets to the apron and hits the West Coast Pop for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY awkward match. It wasn’t terrible I guess but these two might as well have been wrestling blindfolded. They didn’t click at all and it felt like they were going with random moves instead of any kind of match with a flow or story at all. Just didn’t work at all.

Madusa is here and says she’s been here for more than a year. She threw away a title belt to open up women’s wrestling but can’t get on TV because of Bischoff. Gee what a shock. This goes on for awhile with her talking about how great women are until Luna Vachon debuts and jumps her.

Here’s the NWO in full force with “Sting”. Wait that’s actually him. Ok then. Eric says that they’re not worried about Schiller because they’re friends with Ted. Hogan makes fun of Piper’s team and Savage says Piper needs a psychiatrist. This somehow takes seven minutes to get through.

Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Rick and Lex get things started as we’re rapidly running out of time. Lex takes him into the corner and Rick comes back with punches. Luger shows off the power and down goes Dog Face. Off to Scott as this is the Steiners’ first match back from the car wreck. Scott hits a butterfly powerbomb and it’s off to Giant who gets the crowd fired up. Rick tags himself in and comes off the middle rope with an ax handle to take him down. A GREAT double suplex puts Giant down for two. Everyone stops to stare at each other and it’s NWO time. Sting stands with the NWO and the match just kind of ends.

Rating: D. This was a lot of standing around for the sake of standing around until the NWO ran in to end the match. These four would wind up being Team WCW at the PPV which would be fine as all four had reason to face the NWO guys. This could have been a big time tag match too.

Piper and company come in through the crowd and the brawl finally gets going to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was a horrible show on all accounts. All of the matches were either barely watchable or horrible, there was a nearly 20 minute segment that got booed out of the building, and other than the Bischoff suspension (you know, the guy that was back an hour and a half later saying it meant nothing), NOTHING happened on this show. Terrible episode here and one of the worst in the history of the show.

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NWA World Wide Wrestling – January 5, 1985: Don’t Be Modest Dusty

NWA World Wide
Date: January 5, 1985
Location: Dorton Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentator: Tony Schiavone

This is a show that I did an episode of before and I’m back again. This is going to be squash heavy and that’s what the norm was back then. We’re just past Dusty losing on a decision kind of at Starrcade so we’ll probably talk about that some. The thing was back then, there was really just that one show for the whole year so the rest of the year, there wasn’t much else to talk about but house shows. Let’s get to it.

After a quick clip of a brawl between what looked like Don Kernoodle and Ivan Koloff, we get the intro sequence.

Dusty Rhodes and Manny Fernandez, the world tag champion, have been challenged by the Road Warriors. Manny accepts the challenge and we get a Road Warriors squash with Dusty talking about it. Seeing Ellering with blonde hair is a strange sight. The conclusion is that the Road Warriors are awesome, but they haven’t faced a team like the champs yet. Animal pins a jobber with the powerslam.

Ricky Steamboat welcomes us to the new year and says that he wants the NWA World Title this year. Steamboat would leave for the WWF at the end of February.

Tully Blanchard/Black Bart/Ron Bass vs. Tommy Lane/Lee Ramsey/David Diamond

Blanchard and Lane start things off. The squashing begins quickly as it’s off to Bass. He’s Mid-Atlantic Champion and Mid-Atlantic Tag Champions (different from Fernandez and Rhodes’ World Tag Titles). Blanchard is World TV Champion. Back to Blanchard who beats up Lane some more and throws him to the jobber corner for a tag.

There isn’t much to say here as it’s just the champions taking turns beating up Diamond. He gets sent to the floor and beaten up out there for a bit with some heel cheating. Ramsey comes in off a tag and everything breaks down. That doesn’t last long and it’s back to Bass beating up Ramsey. Blanchard comes back in and the slingshot suplex gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to say here as it was just a big beating. That being said, the idea of putting the tag team champions with the TV Champion would prove to be a great idea in about a year as they added Flair to the mix. That would be called the Four Horsemen. Anyway, just a squash here and it wasn’t that great.

Tony runs down a house show card VERY quickly. The Koloffs say they’ll win the battle royal.

Barbarian vs. Joel Deaton

Barbarian only debuted a few weeks ago and this might be his first match. He headbutts Joel and sends him out to the floor. Paul Jones, Barbarian’s worthless manager, adds in some cane shots for bad measure. There’s a bearhug but Deaton elbows his way out of it. A half superkick/half big boot puts Deaton down and Barbarian goes to the top twice, but both times he comes back down. He opts to choke and bite, followed by a chinlock for two arm drops. The comeback is quickly stopped and finally the top rope headbutt ends this.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect so it wasn’t all that interesting. Jones was one of the most useless managers ever and I’m not sure anyone ever got the point of him. He eventually became this military (I think) kind of fanatic calling himself #1 Paul Jones. No one really cared but he did it anyway.

Tully says that he’s looking for a perfect ten woman, so here’s an address to send pictures to. This would be paid off in a few weeks I believe.

The Long Riders (Bart and Bass) talk about being tired of facing big numbers. Their manager JJ Dillon is off finding help for them.

Curtis Harrison vs. Assassin #1

Assassin takes Harrison to the mat and uses some technical stuff which is against his nature. A big right hand ends this quick. He’s called The Man With The Hands Of Stone, which would be used by Ronnie Garvin a few years later.

Paul Jones talks about his new man: Kung Fu Billy Graham. This was one of the most head scratching gimmick changes ever. World title here we come and all that jazz. There’s also some new guy named Magnum TA that he’d like a piece of.

Magnum TA vs. Doug Vines

Magnum armdrags him down and hooks an armbar. We’re thirty seconds in, making this one of Magnum’s longer matches. That’s not sarcasm by the way. His gimmick was he’d hit like two moves and then the belly to belly would get the pin. This is a MARATHON at two minutes with the finish I just said.

More house show ads. Flair is ready to defend against Harley Race in Greensboro. That sounds familiar. Don Kernoodle is ready to defend AMERICA.

Dusty is glad Kernoodle is back from injury. We get a clip of his first match back, which is the fight before the opening sequence. It’s about a flag or something. Dusty doesn’t like the Commie Koloffs so he’s offering to help capture the flag from them. Kernoodle got the flag back but Nikita ran in and took the flag back. Dusty came out for the save. He’s sweating just from this promo. Dusty wants the title back and likes Ricky Steamboat too. Tony looks bored out of his mind here. Dusty complains about the Russians some more and praises himself to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. For a 45 minute show with nothing but squashes, they covered a good deal of stuff here. This would be your typical NWA show of the time, which means it’s pretty good. Worldwide was the B show though which made it a little less interesting. The main show is World Championship Wrestling and if I can find that I’ll take a look. This was good though.

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Monday Nitro – March 8, 1999: This Company’s Soul Has Died

Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David.  That’s quite the offer.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

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Monday Nitro – February 24, 1997: Better Wrestling, Better Show. Why Is That So Complicated?

Monday Nitro #76
Date: February 24, 1997
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyzsko, Bobby Heenan

It’s after SuperBrawl now and we’re on the way to Uncensored, which had a very unique and what I thoguht was a very entertaining main event. That’s in three weeks though so for now we’ll stay on this show. Piper lost last night after Savage became the newest member of the NWO. Yeah I’m as shocked as you are. Other than that not a lot happened other than Luger and Giant beginning what I’m sure will be a LONG tag title reign. Let’s get to it.

Public Enemy vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jarrett beat Mongo last night to become an official Horseman. Rock is now bald and starts with Mongo. That goes absolutely nowhere so a double tag brings in the other guys. Grunge puts him down with a swinging neckbreaker and Rock comes back in to work on the shoulder. Rock misses a charge in the corner and Jarrett stomps away on him. Off to Mongo for nothing and Jeff comes back in. Jeff leapfrogs him and Mongo takes out Rock’s legs twice in a row. Rock tries a leapfrog but gets powerbombed down. Here’s the briefcase but he hits Jarrett again, allowing Rock to get the pin.

Rating: D+. This feud just wouldn’t end no matter how long it kept going for. At the end of the day though, Jarrett and Debra weren’t interesting at all but they kept forcing those two and Mongo down our throats all summer. Jarrett FINALLY went back to the WWF and Mongo stopped getting TV time to end it, but that’s months away.

Cue the Horsemen to the ring to yell at Mongo. Anderson rips him apart and Flair is mad. Flair says we need to be a team. Anderson says that everyone is getting stronger while we’re getting weaker. Jarrett and Mongo are the only two healthy Horsemen so Anderson makes them shake hands.

Jim Duggan vs. Galaxy

Galaxy is somewhat more famous as Damien. Tony says this will be a classic. We need to have a chat about what that means. Galaxy is just tiny compared to Duggan. Duggan throws him around and backdrops him with ease. Out to the floor and the fans are into Jim here. Duggan beats up Galaxy on the floor and no sells Galaxy’s limited offense in the ring. Three Point Clothesline and the taped fist get the pin. Nothing but a squash.

Post match Duggan challenges Hogan.

Hugh Morrus vs. Joe Gomez

Gomez takes him into the corner to start and breaks clean. Morrus takes him into the corner and pounds on him. See who had the better career and figure out what the smart move to make is. Gomez tries to speed things up and grabs an armbar which defeats the purpose of speeding things up. A dropkick puts Morrus down and it’s back to the armbar. Morrus catches a leapfrog into kind of a spinebuster to set up No Laughing Matter for the pin. This was nothing again.

We get some stills of last night’s Sullivan vs. Benoit match. It was another wild brawl. I don’t remember Woman looking good like this at all from this era.

Ice Train vs. La Parka

We get an inset interview from Teddy Long to Jackie of all people. La Parka starts with rapid fire kicks but Train runs him down and hiptosses him for two. Train keeps running him over but La Parka hits an enziguri to take over. Top rope spinwheel kick gets two. World’s Strongest Slam gives Train the advantage again and a corner splash has La Parka flattened. The masked man comes back again with a spinwheel kick (he likes that one) and Train is knocked to the floor. A big corkscrew plancha takes him out and they head back inside. Train hits a HUGE clothesline and a splash for the pin.

Rating: D+. I liked Ice Train but this didn’t work all that well for me. I seem to remember these two having a match a few weeks ago that was better than this. Not much to this but the power vs. speed idea is something that it’s hard to screw up. Given who was in this, it was what you would call a pleasant surprise.

Chris Jericho/Eddie Guerrero vs. Faces of Fear

Jericho and Guerrero faced each other last night for Eddie’s US Title with the champion retaining. Barbarian and Jericho get things going. Eddie comes in with a cross body but his cover is easily shrugged off. Off to Meng who shrugs off all of Eddie’s offense and headbutts him down. BIG (not HUGE) powerbomb plants Eddie but he comes back with a headscissors which allows the tag.

The small guys double team Meng but it doesn’t get them very far. A backsplash gets two but Meng kills Jericho with a belly to back. Barbarian hits a superplex to the Canadian but Jericho manages a rollup for two. Meng will have none of that though as the Faces (of Fear) hit their backdrop into the powerbomb spot which is always cool.

There’s the double headbutt but Eddie makes the save. Jericho finally avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Eddie. Everything breaks down and it’s time to fly. Jericho loads up a Lionsault but Barbarian stops him from trying (he would have missed by a mile anyway). Dean Malenko comes out and shoves Eddie off the top, right into Meng’s boot for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good here but you again had power vs. speed with the speed team being a very good combination. Based on that alone you’re going to have a good match. Malenko lost the title last night because of Eddie so so there’s your explanation for the interference. Fun match.

Time for hour #2. There’s not much to recap so we’ll talk about the PPV a bit. Oh ok we can talk about the Horsemen from earlier.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio

Juvy doesn’t mean much yet. Rey tries a kind of backbreaker but Juvy counters into a DDT and a springboard spinwheel kick to take Rey down. Off to a knee lock but Rey kicks him in the face to escape. They grab a test of strength grip and we get a nice gymnastics routine. Rey tries a moonsault press but Juvy ducks underneath and hits one of his own for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. There’s a SWEET springboard into a sunset bomb by Guerrera. Out to the floor goes Rey and Juvy hits a sweet suicide dive. Juvy’s rana is countered into a powerbomb and the West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: C+. These two are usually gold together but this was bronze at best. Still though they were the best at this point for the high flying and the flips and stuff like that. Also there was a great bit of commentary in this right before Rey went up for the finish. Tony: “He’s going to try something from the top too.” Heenan: “Thank you Sherlock!”

Lee Marshall is in Atlanta.

TV Title: Pat Tanaka vs. Prince Iaukea

Tanaka comes out to what would become Goldberg’s theme. Slow feeling out process to start as the Prince is very apprehensive. Iaukea tries a kick to the ribs but gets caught in a dragon screw legwhip. Prince comes back with another kick and it’s time to stand around. He takes Tanaka down, hits a springboard senton backsplash and the top rope cross body retains. Bad match.

Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dean is all serious to start and drives Dragon into the corner. They go to the mat and trade some quick submission holds. That goes to a stalemate so Dean offers a handshake and pulls Dragon into a clothesline. Dragon gets ticked off and fires off his kick series to take over. Dean trips him up and fires off fists to send Dragon to the floor. Dragon is whipped into the barricade as Malenko is turning heel as the match goes on.

Back in for a chinlock as Malenko is in control. That shifts into a camel clutch but Dragon reverses into a surfboard. This is the seated version with the chinlock instead of the full bridge. Now it’s the Indian Deathlock with the bridge. This is getting fun. Sunset flip gets two for Malenko. Tiger bomb gets two for the same. Dragon sends him to the apron and tries the same springboard dropkick that Jericho uses but it TOTALLY misses.

Dean is knocked to the floor anyway but Dragon hits a big dive to take Dean out to make up for the miss. Back in Dragon hits a springboard rana for two but Dean rolls through for two. La Majistral gets two for Dragon. Dean snaps off a release German and chokes Dragon which is completely against his character. Sonny gets on the apron and earns a right hand. Dean keeps choking and gets disqualified.

Rating: B-. As always these two have great chemistry together. Dragon was one of the few people that could keep up with Dean on the mat but had a different style to him than Eddie or Benoit which made him a more interesting opponent. This was good and it gave Dean a heel turn which was a good thing for him here.

Dean says he’s tired of the lack of respect he’s been getting. He’s coming for Syxx too.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor is in a pith helmet, khakis and a vest. Two of those come off to get us to the match. Taylor starts fast but Page knocks him back. Cue the Outsiders as Page hits what we would call a TKO to take out Taylor. No cover though as Page stares down the Outsiders. Savage runs in through the crowd to set up the main event feud of the summer. The match just ended. A fan runs in which goes badly for him. Page gets spraypainted and takes the elbow. Savage officially gets his NWO shirt.

After a break the NWO is still in the ring. Hall talks for a bit about nothing in particular and brings out Hogan. He gives Savage a gift: the now happy Elizabeth.

Tag Titles: Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Harlem Heat

And never mind as Eric comes out and says the titles are going back to the Outsiders because Luger wasn’t medically cleared. Luger says he’ll do it if all of the titles were on the line at Uncensored. This stipulation would lasts all of five minutes because it was forgotten the next week. Luger talks about getting a team together which means….oh dear it’s THAT segment next week. Sting comes out with the bat and stares at Luger. Then he stares at Hogan, who hugs him to no reaction. Announcers: “HE’S NWO!”

Overall Rating: C+. See, this is what good wrestling gets you. Nothing really happened again here but the wrestling was good. That also made the show go by faster which is always a good thing. The main event would be set up next week in one of the dumbest segments ever, which would go against one of the best Raws ever. Then again no one was watching Raw at this point so it didn’t matter. Better show this week.

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Monday Nitro – February 17, 1997: Two Of The Most Bizarre Segments In Wrestling History

Monday Nitro #75
Date: February 17, 1997
Location: Florida State Fairgrounds, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyzsko, Bobby Heenan

This is the go home show for SuperBrawl which came out of nowhere. This is probably the beginning of Piper on Alcatraz (don’t ask) and I’m sure more of the Horsemen being destroyed before our very eyes. Also I’m sure we’ll get Piper and Hogan talking a lot and expect to hear the words “biggest match EVER” quite a bit tonight. Let’s get to it.

The two NWO limos arrive to open the show. They walk in but realize that one of their members is down. They throw out the cameraman and we couldn’t tell who it was.

Rey Mysterio vs. Super Calo

Calo grabs the leg to take Rey down and puts on a chinlock. Rey comes back and speeds things up but springboards into a dropkick. Rey gets knocked to the apron and Calo tries a sunset bomb but Rey counters into a rana. Calo pops up onto the apron and hits a missile dropkick to the floor. We’re told that the Steiners are out of the fourway on Sunday because of a car wreck. Oh we’ll get to that in a minute.

We cut to the back and Bubba was the NWO member that was hurt and is being loaded into an ambulance. Back to the ring and Calo drapes the arm over the top rope. Rey comes back with something like a springboard Whisper in the Wind for two. Springboard guillotine legdrop gets two. Rey goes up but gets headscissored down. That goes nowhere as Rey knocks him down and the West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty good high flying match and that’s the right idea for an opener. Rey was in a different league than almost anyone else on the roster.  he was also almost as popular as anyone else on the roster, which is why it took him years to get away from the Cruiserweight division.  Makes sense right?

Hugh Morrus vs. Steve McMichael

McMichael runs him over a few times to start things off and the fans actually seem to like him. He yells something to Debra and gets run over for his efforts. Morrus grabs the ankle and works on the leg a bit. He keeps laughing at Debra which fits him pretty well I guess. He loads up the moonsault but Debra throws in the briefcase to Mongo. The moonsault hits the case and Morrus gets pinned as a result.

Rating: D-. Mongo just wasn’t that good. He was very slowly getting better but putting him in the Horsemen and then giving him the US Title just wasn’t a good idea. He would pretty much be the same guy for the rest of his career and I don’t think anyone really cared. Nothing to see here though as Debra was almost the focus of the match.

We get a video of a few weeks ago with Piper and his son getting humiliated by the NWO.

Dean Malenko vs. Robbie Brookside

Brookside is a somewhat famous British guy. Dean actually talks before the match, calling out Syxx on Sunday. The match starts and Tony explains to us about how Dean’s dad trained Syxx. My goodness an actual story! Dean takes him down and works on the arm. He tries some holds but Brookside keeps rolling out of them. Robbie hits a northern lights suplex for two. They go to the mat for a pinfall reversal sequence that results in a Dean suplex into a modified Cloverleaf for the quick tap out. Too short to rate but this was really fast paced.

Syxx comes out and says that the respect and gratitude he had for Dean’s dad died with Dean’s old man. He never liked Dean and Dean has been ducking him.

The NWO sneaks up on the announcers’ desk and talk about the car wreck the Steiners were in. You can’t pin that on them though and there’s a tape to prove it. Larry almost gets in a fight with them.

Public Enemy vs. Amazing French Canadians

Harlem Heat and the Faces of Fear are in the audience. We get a quick French national anthem and the brawl begins. The Canadians take over quickly and send Grunge to the floor where Parker stomps on him a bit. We officially start with Oullette vs. Grunge and the Canadians keep control early on. Off to a fast chinlock but Grunge gets up. He sends Oullette into Jacques but Oullette collides with Grunge. No tag to Rock but the Canadians miss the Cannonball. There’s the hot tag and Rock cleans house. Everything breaks down and Oullette is put through a table and pinned.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for me at all. The whole ending was horrible looking as the table spot looked like it was about as planned out as you could ask for. The rest of the match was nothing of note. For the life of me I don’t get the appeal of the Canadians as a serious tag team. They would get back to WWF within a year.

DDP has no idea what happened to Bubba and doesn’t like being accused of it.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Prince Iaukea

Before the match Regal says that Rey reminds him of Dopey of the Seven Dwarves. Regal yells at a lot of fans before we get going. The Prince shoulder blocks him down and Regal isn’t sure what to do. The champ comes back with a European Uppercut and a release suplex. A butterfly superplex puts Iaukea down and Rey comes out to watch. Regal poses at him and the Prince rolls him up for the pin and the title in probably the biggest upset in Nitro history. Public Enemy and Teddy Long come out to celebrate for some reason.

Rating: D. The match sucked because it was so short. See, four days before this Raw had a special Thursday episode where their islander/Samoan Rocky Maivia beat their blueblood HHH for the IC Title in a shocking upset. Think that’s a coincidence? I know it might be but to me, that’s too close to be a stroke of luck. Iaukea would SUCK as champion for almost two months.

Hour #2 begins so we hit the recap button.

Nick Patrick vs. Randy Anderson

If Anderson wins, he gets his job back. Patrick trained to be a wrestler but blew out his knee so he became a referee instead, meaning he actually has an idea of what he’s doing. Apparently Anderson has an amateur background. He even gets fire as he comes to the ring. The regular referee checks for weapons and hands Anderson a foreign object. On camera of course so you know it’s going to be called out later. Randy hits him and wins in about 30 seconds.

Just as you knew would happen, Eric comes out and says no way. Anderson is still fired. I think the regular referee is done too.

Lee Marshall is in San Francisco.

Chris Benoit vs. Roadblock

Roadblock looks like Rhyno if he was about 9 inches taller and 200 pounds heavier. George Steinbrenner is here. Benoit goes right at him but Roadblock uses his size to take over. Woman slaps him and Roadie goes to the floor after her, allowing Benoit to hit a GREAT baseball slide. Benoit goes off on him and throws him back in. A boot to the face puts Roadblock down and the Swan Dive gets the pin. Basically a Benoit squash.

Now we get one of the dumbest moments in the history of professional wrestling. It’s the video that the Outsiders gave to Tony earlier. It’s from inside a car with Syxx manning the camera, Hall riding shotgun and Nash driving. They’re in a small town and see the Steiners at a gas station. They follow the Steiners’ car and bump into the back of it a few times before ramming into the side of it, causing it to FLIP OVER and crash. And remember, the NWO gave this tape to WCW to air ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

Even Tony Schiavone realizes that this is evidence of a criminal act.

Jimmy Hart, Jackie and Sullivan stop for a chat before their squash. Jimmy talks about how Jackie and Woman will be tired together on Sunday. Jackie has no issue hitting Woman. Sullivan thinks it’s perfect timing to have Jackie return right before this match. That’s a funny comment when you think about it. He makes more vague statements about leaving the neighborhood and says on Sunday, we’ll see who has more fire. Jackie says something and no one cares.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Doc Dean

Sullivan immediately runs Dean over and I don’t like Doc’s odds. He sends Dean to the floor so Jackie can beat him up. Dean grabs a small package out of nowhere for two. Jackie beats Dean up some more. There’s the Tree of Woe and the double stomp ends the massacre.

US Title: Konnan vs. Eddie Guerrero

Power vs. speed to start and Konnan is sent to the floor. Konnan sends him into the barricade and takes over with a chinlock and low dropkick for two. Eddie comes back with a rana but gets launched over Konnan’s head, sending him face first into the buckle in a sick bump. Back to the chinlock, followed by a sitout powerbomb for two. There’s chinlock #4 and Eddie is in trouble. Now Konnan hooks a right armbar. Eddie comes back and hits a brainbuster and goes up for the Frog Splash. He shoves Konnan down and hits the Splash but the Faces of Fear run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here with neither guy seeming to care much at all. The hot shot into the buckle looked GREAT but other than that there was nothing at all of note. When you have four chinlocks in a six minute match, you know things aren’t going well. Konnan could get lazy with the best of them.

Jericho, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, makes the save.

Here are the Horsemen for a chat. Flair calls Benoit a love machine. Anderson talks about how Bischoff is the boss but they’re still the Horsemen. If Randy Anderson needs $100,000, he’s welcome to it. Mongo continues to be confused about whether or not he’s a face or heel by making fun of the Buccaneers. Debra thinks Jackie can’t walk in pumps. Benoit is ready for Sullivan on Sunday. Somehow this took seven minutes.

The Giant vs. Johnny Swinger/Top Gun

What in the world are you expecting here? Both guys are chokeslammed and pinned in less than a minute.

Giant spraypaints the words Hall and Nash on the jobbers’ bodies. Luger comes out and has a doctor’s note but Bischoff comes out to say he’s a week late. Luger protests but that gets him nowhere.

We go to another insane moment in wrestling history. Roddy Piper has locked himself in a cell on Alcatraz (In the words of Road Dogg on Are You Serious: “Which apparently you can just do”) and is staying there for a week before the match. He says that he’s been dead inside for years because of Hogan (who he calls Mr. Spandex in a visual I really didn’t need). He talks about how Hogan needs the spotlight and how he (Piper) doesn’t weak a kilt in airports. Piper is going to stay in his cell for seven days to train for Hogan. To this day, I don’t think ANYONE knows what the point of this was.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Jericho

Debra comes out to watch of course. This is a technical match which shouldn’t surprise anyone. Jericho uses his mat stuff but gets caught by a top rope cross body for two. Jericho goes up and Debra begs him not to hurt Jeff. The distraction makes him miss coming off the top so Jeff hooks the Figure Four. Mongo hits him with the case and Jericho gets the pin. Seriously, did ANYONE care about Debra?

Here’s the NWO to close things out. Hogan is here and Bischoff does the talking. Hogan brags some but Sting and Savage appear on the stage. Bischoff sucks up to Hogan some more and Hulk brags about how he put Tampa on the map. Sting and Savage come to the ring and then turn around and leave. Hogan says he was going to beat up Piper tonight but Piper locked himself in a cell so that didn’t work. He poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was almost too stupid to be good. Between the Alcatraz thing and the televised attempted vehicular homicide, this show can only be so good. On top of that the wrestling was pretty subpar tonight. I guess we have something interesting in the Bubba attack which I actually don’t remember the reveal of, so that’s kind of fun for a change. Pretty weak show here but things would pick up soon.

Here’s SuperBrawl if you’re interested:

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Monday Nitro – February 10, 1997: Can Someone Smack Debra In The Face? Please? I’ll Give You A Dollar

Monday Nitro #74
Date: February 10, 1997
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

After last week we have our two biggest matches for Superbrawl and we have this plus one more Nitro before we get to the PPV. It’s hard to say what’s going to happen here as they have a lot set for the PPV so it’ll likely just be promos for that. I say it’s hard to say because there would be a very strange set of promos by Piper before it, which I’m sure will get a few comments out of me. Let’s get to it.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Before the match Dean talks (?!?!) to Syxx, challenging him to a match anywhere anytime. This is non-title I believe. Eddie wraps him up to start after a quick headscissors. Dean takes the arm but gets headscissored back down. Dean comes back with a powerslam for two and takes over. Eddie tilt-a-whirls him down for two.

Time for the chinlock and then they hit the mat for a move that no one is sure as to what it was. It might have been a submission but I have no idea who it was on. Dean hits a release German for two and a tombstone as Syxx comes out. He clocks Penzer and steals the US Title. Eddie chases and gets counted out.

Rating: C+. It’s Eddie vs. Dean. Were you expecting anything other than a good match here? They were flying all over the place and put on a clinic out there while they could, but the ending really brought it down. Then again it’s advancing an angle so I can’t complain as much as I do when it’s the same things over and over.

Here’s DDT with a chair. He sits down in the middle of the ring and says that there’s a bullseye on his forehead. Here’s here to make a statement: he’s tired of running and if something is going to happen, let it happen right now. Here come Sting and Savage to the ring and they circle him. Savage hits the chair with the bat and Page jumps up. They shove him back with the bat and Sting pulls his back to swing it but stops. Page doesn’t leave and Sting hands him his bat. Savage and Sting turn their backs but Page doesn’t move. Savage and Sting leave.

Konnan vs. Bobby Eaton

Konnan hits a quick dropkick and shrugs off Eaton’s right hands. Seated dropkick sets up the 187 for a very quick pin.

We get a clip of Luger getting attacked last week.

Lex Luger vs. Ron Powers

Eric comes out and says not so fast because Luger isn’t medically cleared to wrestle because of a big cast on his left hand. Lex has the rest of the show to get him a medical release or he’s out of SuperBrawl. Lex leaves and Giant comes up behind Bischoff.

The Giant vs. Ron Powers

Giant throws him around and hits the chokeslam for the pin at about a minute and a half.

Giant says he’ll have a partner at SuperBrawl in the form of Lex Luger because Luger is the only one that would trust him. Luger comes out and says nothing will stop him from going for the titles.

The rest of the NWO gets here. Actually it’s just the Outsiders and Bubba. Bubba wants DDP at SuperBrawl.

High Voltage vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott and Rage get us going as Tony talks about a fatal fourway match which would never take place. Harlem Heat, another team that is scheduled for that match, is out watching. Rage clips Scott’s knee but gets caught in a powerslam coming off the top. Gorilla press brings in Rick and the Faces of Fear are watching too. Kaos is in to face Rick and the Public Enemy is here too. Malenko vs. Syxx will happen at the PPV as well. Rick works the arm for a bit and it’s back to Scott. High Voltage cheats to take over but Scott won’t sell any of that. Rage’s springboard is caught in a Rick powerbomb and the Bulldog gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a step above a squash here but it was fine to give the Steiners some momentum going into the PPV. High Voltage was a good jobbing team like they were used as here so I can’t complain much in that regard. Having the other teams come out was a nice touch as well.

Here’s the NWO for their regular takeover of the broadcast desk. It’s Hall, Nash and Eric on commentary with Syxx and Nick Patrick behind them. Eric brings out Randy Anderson with his kids to beg for his job. Bischoff gets in one of his greatest lines ever with “Kids, will you please tell your daddy…..THAT HE’S STILL FIRED!” Next week Anderson can wrestle Patrick for his job. Anderson’s wife says no because that’s against what his doctors said. His doctors told a referee that he can’t wrestle?

Outsiders vs. The Extreme

This is the same team that the Outsiders killed a few weeks ago. The Outsiders jump them in the aisle and this lasts about a minute and a half. A Torture Rack (in a fireman’s carry position) by Nash gets the submission.

Syxx interviews the Outsiders post match with Nash talking about how a giant is a goon according to the dictionary. Hall says Nash is a cool giant, not a dorky giant.

Hour #2 begins with the usual announcers.

TV Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Steven Regal

Regal takes the arm to start and it’s time for some chain wrestling. They both fight over the arm but Regal casually picks him up and hits a backbreaker to take over. Rey comes back with a springboard missile dropkick and Regal is in trouble. Steven gets in a quick thumb to the eye and a European Uppercut to take over. There are the knees to the face and Regal is dominating. Rey manages a dropkick to put him on the floor but walks into a guillotine to keep the advantage with the champion. They trade some very fast rollups for two each and Rey has him cradled as the bell rings at 6:54 for the time limit draw.

Rating: C. I know wrestling isn’t great at keeping time, but less than seven minutes? That has to be a botch of some sort because that was off by about three minutes if Tony’s statement of a ten minute time limit is correct. They were starting to click at the end too which makes the ending all the stranger.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Maverick Wild

Wild has what would become Mongo’s music. Sullivan jumps him immediately and knocks him to the floor, where Jackie beats him up. Wild gets thrown out there again and beaten up one more time with Heenan freaking out. Tenay actually mentions the Women’s Title. Tree of Woe and double stomp end the squash quick. This was more about Jackie than the match.

Sullivan cuts off the interview post match and talks to Nancy and Chris. He talks about being in bed last night and getting a call from someone named Paulie and saying that the deal is falling through. A bunch of people have told him to do his job which makes Sullivan talk about the difference between a community and a neighborhood. He implies that if Woman tries to use a weapon on Jackie, there will be punishment. The girls are going to be strapped together at the PPV. Jackie says the same thing.

Some Jacksonville Jaguar is here.

LONG recap of the ending of Nitro last week, and by that I mean they SHOW THE WHOLE THING, with Tony doing a voiceover. There are no cuts in this and it eats up like 8 minutes. I guess we’ve just found the rest of the TV Title match.

Hugh Morrus vs. Alex Wright

Morrus pounds him down in the corner and Wright comes back with kicks and punches. Wright’s spinwheel kick takes Morrus to the floor and Wright hits a big dive to take him down. A charge misses for Hugh and they botch a missile dropkick spot badly. Morrus powerbombs him and the moonsault gets the pin. I think this was cut short.

Chavo Guerrero/Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael

That’s an odd pairing. Benoit and Chavo start things off with Chavo speeding things way up. Off to Jarrett and they take Benoit down pretty quickly. Benoit hits the buckle chest first and Jarrett puts him down with a belly to back suplex. Mongo hits him in the back to a BIG reaction and gets the tag to an even bigger one. Weird crowd man. Powerslam gets two and it’s back to Benoit. Jeff hits a picture perfect dropkick and tags Chavo back in. Chavo erupts and beats up the Horsemen by himself, hitting a moonsault for two on Benoit. Debra won’t let Jarrett get back in and Mongo kills Chavo with a tombstone for the pin.

Rating: B-. For a three and a half minute match this was pretty fun stuff. Jarrett can throw a mean dropkick and Chavo’s were good as well. Also Mongo killed him dead with that tombstone, which was pretty much the only move Mongo could do competently. Good little match here, which is what happens with talented people.

All of the Horsemen come to the ring post match for their meeting of the week. Anderson talks about everyone getting weapons and Flair steals a foam Horsemen hand from a fan. Arn warns Sullivan and Jarrett to stay away from the ladies. Flair says the Horsemen are united. Benoit is ready for Sullivan.

Mongo insults the fans after everyone else seems to be a face. Mongo gets on Debra about the Jarrett thing and Debra thinks Jeff should be a Horseman. She’s so upset she hasn’t been able to shop for a week. Mongo says they’ll have a match and if Jarrett wins he’s a Horseman. Debra says she’s not a gossip and you didn’t hear this from her, but Sullivan and Jackie aren’t good people. Debra is reaching Michael Cole levels of annoying at this point.

Time for Hogan and Piper to close the show. It’s Piper first and he talks about his family. Hogan pops up and it’s split screen time. Hogan hasn’t said anything yet as Piper goes on about how he was supposed to be going home to his family. He’s seen Hogan on the screen now and starts to ramble. Piper talks about how he’s having to break his promise to his son and Hogan says he doesn’t care. He talks about how the footage from Starrcade was doctored and Piper goes off, talking about OJ Simpson or something. That’s enough to make Hogan mad and Piper storms off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Good wrestling, they added a lot of stuff to the show and they hyped up what they already had. What more can you ask for from a show? Well less Debra and someone that can tell time would be a start but still this show worked pretty well. These shows have been getting a lot better lately and hopefully that sticks better than I remember it doing. Good show this week.

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