Monday Nitro #252
Date: August 7, 2000
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s the go home show for New Blood Rising and the show has gone off a cliff again. In this case there’s the issue of a missing Russo interview from Thunder, which is likely going to be a major plot point because Russo continues to be the star of the show despite not actually being on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the three way which is the real main event on Sunday.

The three of them (Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash) arrived earlier. Oh wait Goldberg was just arriving.

There’s a mud pit by the stage. Oh geez just get it over with already.

Jung Dragons vs. Dark Carnival

There’s a ladder next to the ring. It’s going to be one of those kind of shows isn’t it? Tank Abbott sits in on commentary and it’s Vampiro vs. Jamie to open things up. Since Vampiro isn’t very good, he starts with a release Awesome bomb and clotheslines Jamie out to the floor. The announcers discuss Tank recording a song with the Dragons as everything breaks down. The ladder is brought in so Yang can dive onto Muta, only to have Demon throw Yang to the floor. Kaz enziguris Muta as things settle again, allowing Yang to hit Muta low for two. Everything breaks down and Muta mists Yang, setting up the moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D. We had three breakdowns and a ladder along with green mist in a five minute match. As usual, almost everything on these shows are so overbooked that I lose track of what the match is supposed to accomplish. The action was fine while it lasted, but there was way too much stuff going on for it to work.

Post match Sting comes in and cleans house with the bat. Sting says that’s three out of four and the only one left on the list is Goldberg. He wants Goldberg out here right now but we go to a break instead.

Back with Nash, Steiner and Goldberg being held apart by security backstage. Steiner gets away and comes to the ring to face Sting. A challenge is issued and Steiner destroys him with a pipe.

Here’s Cat to yell about Nash, Steiner and Goldberg. We get a semi-infamous line here as Cat says he would send them home but someone might pay them, which is a reference to Scott Steiner refusing to do a job and getting a paid vacation over the Fourth of July weekend. As for tonight, if any of them mess with things, they’re going to jail. Steiner is going to face Sting in a pipe on a pole match (Cat: “I’m going to put that pipe in the middle of the ring and hang it from a pole.”) because the fans want to see it.

That means it’s time to dance but here’s Lance Storm to interrupt. He’s won three titles in three weeks so Cat needs to make Storm vs. Booker T. for the World Title tonight. Cat agrees because booking that match for a pay per view in Canada with Booker fighting against all odds pales in comparison to a Jeff Jarrett match.

Kidman comes out for commentary and says he’s going to be holding a Torrie Wilson Appreciation Night.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Sean superkicking Adams while Clark beats up Jindrak on the floor. Cue the Perfect Event for commentary (of course) as Clark takes out both challengers with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Jindrak gets two off a springboard clothesline before handing it off to Sean.

That goes badly as well with O’Haire walking into a belly to back suplex and it’s back to Adams for a full nelson slam. High Times gets two on Jindrak with O’Haire making the save. The Meltdown gets the same, making me think Jindrak is the worthless half of the team. The Seanton bomb gets two on Clark but here’s the Perfect Event for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Actually not bad here, even though the high fliers as the heels is a really weird idea. Kronik are fine as the muscle headed champions but they’ve had the titles long enough at this point. That being said, they definitely don’t need to drop them to Perfect Event as they’re one of the least interesting teams I’ve seen in a very long time.

Jindrak and O’Haire help the Perfect Event beat Kronik down with the exercise bars. The Filthy Animals come out to beat the champs down as well. Now the Misfits in Action hit the ring as well to go after the Animals, who run off with the belts. Yay for faction wars!

Post break the Rection sends the troops out to get the belts back to Kronik. Gunns on the other hand wants to throw Hancock in the mud and strip her clothes.

Kanyon tells Torrie to go be his partner in a mixed tag. Torrie: “I’m not just another blonde bimbo in a D-cup bra.” Instead Kanyon kidnaps Pamela Paulshock to be his partner.

Buff Bagwell/Judy Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon/Pamela Paulshock

The guys start and Pamela stays on the apron for absolutely no logical reason. Buff takes over but stops to strut and pose. Pamela won’t tag in (Madden: “Hey she wants it. They all want it.”) so Kanyon takes Buff down on his own instead. A clothesline puts Buff on the floor and Hudson suggests he tags in his mom. Kanyon shoves Judy off the apron and loads up a Kanyon Cutter on Pamela. Now brace yourselves for this: Gene Okerlund runs in for the save and kicks Kanyon low, setting up a Blockbuster for the pin.

Now we get the Russo interview because we’re just that lucky. Tony promises that Russo will be shooting from the hip here and you can feel Russo’s temperature rising at those insider terms. Apparently this is a different version because some of the stuff couldn’t be said on Thunder or here tonight.

Russo says we’ll hear the truth about what happened at Bash at the Beach someday but for now you would have to talk to the lawyers. Tony brings up Russo leaving the WWF and Russo talks about ratings, including quoting numbers and saying the company has plateaued since he left (wrong). He knows there’s a group here who can thrive if they can get around the politics backstage.

That wasn’t benefiting WCW but now a lot of those people are gone and WCW is improving. The first time Russo was here, he took the ratings from a 2.8 to a 3.4 but then he left. He’s back to do the right thing for the young guys now and Booker T. as champion is proof of that. Tony brings up Russo being on screen in a bunch of angles (his word) and Russo seems very pleased with his Flair feud. He’s happy with never being on TV again, even though he’s shooting (his words) about knowing Flair has a receipt for him.

Russo is from New York and has his eyes on Starrcade which is taking place in Long Island (no it’s not). He wants John Rocker in the ring at Starrcade to give him a beating. For those of you not familiar with 2000 sports references, Rocker was a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves who went on one heck of a rant against New York, making sure to insult almost every group of people you can imagine in the process.

Russo doesn’t care what the ratings are and doesn’t care what Nash, Goldberg and Steiner are talking about doing in the three way on Sunday. They don’t like people they work for but Russo doesn’t like some of the people working for him. “And that’s a shoot.” The finish will be what’s best for the company and that’s that.

I’m almost to the point where I can’t even get annoyed at these things anymore. The worst part is looking back at these interviews and statements that he makes on national television and wondering how so many people gave him job after job over the years. At least here he’s just a year removed from working in the WWF and having real success. After that though it’s been one disaster after another with stuff like this making Russo look like the most out of his mind writer ever.

On top of that, we’re just supposed to forget about Russo being all evil to Ric and accept him as the savior of the company who is standing up for the young guys, apparently none of whom got where they are on their own. No, only Nash, Goldberg and Steiner are actually doing anything on their own. Just as it was before: the old guys are the stars and the young guys are given whatever Russo hands them. What a mess this company is and what a maroon Russo really is.

Sting vs. Scott Steiner

Pipe on a pole match with Sting going off with a chair to start. They head inside with Sting nailing a dropkick but diving into an overhead belly to belly (not a t-bone Tony). Scott takes over with his usual and gets two off the bicep elbow. The announcers aren’t exactly clear on how you win here because they’re not all that bright. Sting tries a clothesline but the referee gets decked, drawing out Rick Steiner. Rick grabs the pipe and throws it to Scott, which apparently counts as a win.

Rating: D-. So the referee didn’t know how to win either? And we had a run-in and a ref bump? On top of that there was barely any reason for the pipe and pole rules as neither guy showed any interest in going for it. This is another great example of how off the wall everything they’re doing right now really is.

Scott hits Sting with the pole and chokes him until Nash runs out with a chair for the save. Security breaks everything up.

Post break, Nash/Sting vs. the Steiners is made.

Mike Awesome and his friend Heidi are out for commentary.

WCW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending. Before the match, Storm says he’s going to become an all time Canadian great like Wayne Gretzky, Donovan Bailey, Doug Flutie (American who played in Canada) and Warren Moon (same). Booker starts fast with a spinning kick to the face as Heidi has ham sandwiches delivered. This causes an argument as she wanted donuts but she’ll settle for the sandwiches. Storm sends Booker to the floor for a dive as Madden makes Mama Cass jokes.

Back in and Lance can’t get the Maple Leaf on the bad leg and a superkick is blocked as well. Booker’s two kicks get a near fall but Storm spins out of a German suplex attempt and grabs the Maple Leaf. The chants of USA get Booker over to the ropes and he comes back (with his leg seemingly fine) with a spinebuster for two. A missile dropkick gets the same on Storm but the Book End is enough to put him away and retain Booker’s title.

Rating: B. That might be high but I was having a good time with this, sandwiches and bad comedy aside. Storm has been on a roll since he got here and this was the logical payoff for his angle. I do kind of wish they had built it up more though and not done the whole thing in the span of a month but it’s been fun while it’s lasted.

Post match Jeff Jarrett runs in and goes after Booker’s knee again, including breaking the Canadian flag over the leg. Storm will have none of that and decks Jarrett, only to have Jeff take it to the floor. The guitar hits Heidi though and Awesome is furious. Mike chases Jeff back inside and right into a Book End.

After a break, Jarrett wants a match with Awesome tonight.

A-Wall goes looking for the Filthy Animals and finds the Nitro Girls by mistake, earning him a beating with shoes.

It’s time for Torrie Wilson Appreciation Night. Kidman comes out and apologizes for everything he’s done to Torrie in recent weeks and offers chocolates and champagne to make up for it. We see Shane and Torrie arguing in the back over whether this is legit or not. Here’s Torrie to accept the flowers but she looks a bit confused.

Kidman talks about her sweet sixteenth birthday party and we’ve got another tape. The video shows a good sized woman eating cake as fast as she can, not even waiting for the candles to be blown out. Photos of Torrie at 16 rain down from the ceiling and here’s Shane for a failed save attempt. Instead Reno comes out and drops Kidman with the Roll of the Dice.

MIA and the Animals are brawling in the back but the Animals get into a car with the titles. They open a door and find Kronik waiting with sledgehammers, because that’s where those two stand all the time. Disco surrenders the belts and gets chokeslammed onto the hood of the car.

Major Gunns drags Tygress out to the mud pit but Miss Hancock comes out to jump Gunns, leaving all three of them in the mud. Gunns gets the worst of it.

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Awesome starts fast and throws Jeff down with a suplex. A Stinger splash in the corner sets up some right hands to Jarrett’s head until he elbows Mike out to the floor. Mike gets in a chair to the back and it’s already table time. Jeff hits him in the ribs with the chair to save himself and they head back inside. Awesome runs up the corner for a back elbow to drop Jarrett again. Ignore the fact that he missed Jeff by a few feet and took him down with the wrong elbow.

Cue Lance Storm with the broken flag for a distraction but Mike clotheslines Jeff’s head off anyway. Storm offers another distraction so Jeff can rip a chain from around Awesome’s neck to knock him down for two. Mike knocks Storm onto the table but walks into the Stroke to give Jeff the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and it was much more about the storyline development than the match itself. Storm vs. Awesome could have been fun if they had just let them have a match but I’m sure you know how that’s going to go. Fun enough match here though, despite there being way too much going on.

Kwee Wee insults Pamela’s clothes and tells everyone that they won’t like him when he’s angry. There’s a woman with him named Papaya, who Kwee Wee refers to as his wife.

Kevin Nash/Sting vs. Steiner Brothers

Before the match, Steiner threatens to put his foot so far up one of them that they’ll be flossing with his shoelaces. I wonder if we’ll have any mention of Sting and Nash being former World Tag Team Champions. Brawl to start of course with the Steiners being sent out to the floor, meaning it’s time to stall a lot.

Rick and Nash start things off with Big Kev getting in his stuff in the corner. Nash shrugs off some right hands in the corner and slams Rick down to set up a top rope splash from Sting. A rake to Sting’s eyes allows for the tag off to Scott and it’s time for the Tree of Woe choke. It’s back to Rick for two off a belly to belly as the announcers talk about the backstage issues leading into the triple threat.

Sting fights back and dives over for the hot tag behind Scott’s back. Everything breaks down and Sting is tagged back in, only to get suplexed by Scott. Nash powerbombs Rick onto but not through the announcers’ table. Cue Goldberg to break up the Recliner, giving Sting the pin on Scott.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? No one was really interested in doing anything and it was more about setting up the triple threat than any issues these guys happened to be having. Rick Steiner continues to just be there despite no real reason for having that spot. Well other than being the brother of a crazy man that is.

Post match Goldberg kicks Sting down and stares Nash down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There was some good stuff in here but not enough to save it. The problem continues to be either the over thinking or the flat out nonsense that they throw in and unfortunately you know it’s only going to get worse. Guys like Booker and Storm can only do so much so enjoy them while you can. Otherwise….egads this place is a mess.

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Thunder
Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?

Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera

Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.

Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.

Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.

The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.

General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.

Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.

Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.

Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.

David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall

Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.

The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.

Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.

Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.

Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.

Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.

Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.

Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak

Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.

Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.

Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.

Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.

Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.

Vito comes in to break up the hold.

Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.

Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.

Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.

Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.

After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.

Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.

The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.

Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon

Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.

Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.

Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.

They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.

Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.

The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.

WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.

Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.

Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.

Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett

Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.

High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.

Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.

Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #251
Date: July 31, 2000
Location: FirstStar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

I made the mistake of believing that things might be turning around and this is what I get for it. The whole place has gone nuts again with Russo’s ideas turning it into more of a circus than a wrestling show and no one seeming to know the difference anymore. The main event tonight is Sting challenging Booker T. for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic and a ten bell salute for Gordon Solie. That’s always a bit sobering.

Video on Booker becoming champion and having to fight all comers. Jeff Jarrett has injured Booker’s knee and beat him in a hardcore match on Thunder because WCW does stupid things like running the World Title match on Thunder before the pay per view. Or pushing Jeff Jarrett as a World Title contender.

Earlier today, Booker came to work.

Pyro.

Here’s a limping Booker to open things up. He talks about his wife being here and she doesn’t seem to like him saying that he’ll die before he gives up the title. The people here are the reason he got the title shot because they would not be silenced. Last week the fans voted for Sting vs. Booker T. but Bill Goldberg interrupted. Tonight however, the fans are getting what they wanted to see. That’s what they’re getting tonight because it’s time for war. Actually I’m pretty sure it’s because Cat booked it on Thunder but no one watches that show.

This brings out Jeff Jarrett because we haven’t been bored enough yet. Jarrett: “Let me drop the bomb on your mom!” Jeff doesn’t think there’s going to be a title match tonight so Booker corrects the catchphrase and starts the fight in the aisle. They get in the ring and Jeff gets in a shot to the bad knee and a chair shot to the head. We get a JARRETT SUCKS chant from what sounds like a crowd roughly three times the size of the audience here as Jeff puts on the Figure Four over the apron.

Sting comes in for the save with the ski mask on, which he thankfully pulls off after throwing Jarrett out. He helps Booker up and says he’ll take that title shot if Booker is still ready later in the night. Jeff says we’ll have Slapnuts Theater and blasts Booker’s wife with the guitar. Again: THE MATCH WAS ALREADY BOOKED! Stop acting like this is some spontaneous thing.

Post break Sting tells Booker to go to the hospital while he deals with Jeff.

Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito

Judy comes out with Buff as they continue to set up the Judy Bagwell on a Pole match, which has been officially set. I keep wanting to think that’s a bad dream that I’ll wake up from one day but it’s really happening. Judy is even sitting in on commentary here to make things even better. Buff starts fast with his normal offense, including a dropkick and swinging neckbreaker.

Vito gets in a cheap shot as Buff looks at his mother because Buff is dumb enough to keep bringing her out here. They head outside for a bit and Buff thinks a production guy is Kanyon in disguise. That just earns him a Mafia kick back inside but Buff pops back up with the double arm DDT for two. An innocent cameraman goes to get a shot of Judy so Buff goes for the save, allowing Vito to get a breather. Back in and Buff’s sunset flip is countered to give Vito the pin.

Rating: D. This is another Russo trope: stories that don’t work unless one of the people involved is just plain stupid. There is no reason for Judy Bagwell to be out there as she could just stay at home but in order for this story to work, she has to be here every week. Nothing match here but it’s nice to see Vito do something other than hardcore nonsense.

Kwee Wee asks Cat for the match but completely snaps when he gets turned down. Cat gives him the match to get rid of him, calming Kwee Wee right back down.

Kanyon wants Judy Bagwell as his valet so she can be his Kimberly. If she’s good, she can be a Nitro Girl. He loads up a Kanyon Cutter on Pamela but Gene Okerlund of all people tries to make the save, only to take the cutter himself (off camera of course).

After a break, Buff runs in and finds Kanyon, giving him a double arm DDT on the floor. For once, a wrestling move actually makes sense.

The Artist vs. Kwee Wee

Artist is in a t-shirt and jeans to prove his manliness to Paisley. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start as Madden makes unfunny jokes about Kwee Wee’s non-existent wife. Artist pounds him down to start but Kwee Thesz presses him down and fires away. A nice dropkick and backdrop put Artist down and it turns into a slugout. Artist lifts him up by the hair and drops him back down, only to have Kwee pound away again. Madden: “This Kwee Wee is like a flamboyant Lou Thesz!” A tilt-a-whirl into a sitout faceplant is enough to put Artist away.

Rating: D. That’s it for Artist in the ring and I don’t think many people are going to miss him. The story never worked and the wrestling wasn’t much better, making him one of the lamer people WCW had on its roster for a long time. Kwee Wee ranges somewhere between stupid and offensive (much closer to the former) but this was a very different time and in Russo’s mind, this was comedy.

Post match Kwee Wee, in a much deeper and more serious voice, says people won’t like him when he’s angry.

A ticked off Scott Steiner breaks into Cat’s office with a pipe. Cat clears off his own desk before Cat can do it. Steiner doesn’t want to hear that Booker isn’t here so he makes a pipe match with Booker in the back for later.

Norman Smiley actually hits on Midajah and gets destroyed by Steiner. This was a five second segment.

The MIA declare war on Team Canada. Rection isn’t pleased with Loco’s war face.

Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. Lance Storm

Before the match, Storm talks about hardcore wrestling being garbage. Therefore, he’s renamed the Hardcore Title as the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title. On top of that, he wants this company to be named World Canadian Wrestling. This time O Canada is cut off by the Misfits’ theme and we’re ready to go in a hurry.

Storm snaps Loco’s throat across the top rope as Rection and Cajun join commentary. Back in and Loco grabs a quick spinning DDT (Cajun: “MISFIT STYLE!”) but tries to flip out of the corner and twists his ankle. Storm loads up a powerbomb and Loco tries to counter, only to get pulled down into the Maple Leaf to give Storm his third title.

Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere of course but the idea of giving Storm a third title is interesting. They’ve certainly made him feel like something special, but now comes the obvious problem of how to get them off him without making him look like a loser. Loco needs to get back in the title hunt though as I was digging his title reign with the safe and well done matches after months of Artist putting everyone to sleep.

Since Storm is young and successful, here’s Kevin Nash to interrupt. Storm gets in his face so Nash drops him with a big boot. Back from a break and Nash is still in the ring, making that attack completely pointless. Nash talks about two people working themselves into a shoot and brings up Goldberg’s comments about him last week. There’s only been one time in this business where he hasn’t been professional and it was the night after someone refused to lose to him in Montreal.

Yeah he played basketball and then he was a bouncer. There were some nights on the job where the NFL players came in and had to be beaten into place. When they get to Vancouver, there’s no guarantee that he’s going to be a professional. Finally, he’s going to get Scott Hall back here no matter what. Cue Scott Steiner to say he doesn’t care about Goldberg or Nash. The fight is on already and security quickly hits the ring.

Post break, Nash demands a match with Steiner. Cat just happens to have a straitjacket so go have a straitjacket match.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

This is called impromptu even though they’ve been talking about it all night. Sting wins an early slugout but misses the Stinger Splash. That’s not a major problem though as he clotheslines Jeff out to the floor and follows him up the ramp with a chair. Much like all the criticism and snores from the audience during his matches, promos, appearances and everything else, Jarrett shrugs the shots off and crushes Sting’s knee against the post with the chair.

We hit the Figure Four over the apron until the referee does his job and breaks it up. Here’s Sting’s comeback until Jeff kicks the referee low and hits Sting in the head with a chair. The referee, having just been kicked low, actually counts the cover for two. Why have referees at this point? Sting flips out of a reverse suplex and grabs the Death Drop “onto” the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. Horrific refereeing aside, that’s a loss for the World Champion and a loss for the #1 contender in the span of five days. Of course we now get even more weeks of Jarrett challenging for the title because he was hand picked as the challenger whether we’re interested in it or not. Lame match because as usual, WCW does a bunch of stupid stuff instead of letting them have a match.

Booker is back and isn’t happy that Jarrett was sent out in an ambulance.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Vampiro/Great Muta vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Kronik is defending and comes out first while Perfect Event is on commentary. Jindrak and O’Haire are smart enough to let everyone else fight. The painted ones are knocked to the floor and it’s Clark vs. Jindrak to get things going. The champ takes over with a hard clothesline until Mark nails a high dropkick. Clark plants him with a Rock Bottom but Vampiro breaks up the pin and takes Jindrak’s place.

A top rope clothesline puts Clark down, leaving Muta and Vampiro to pound away at the same time for no logical reason. Clark fights them off again and makes the hot tag to Adams so house can be cleaned. Muta goes after Adams knee but Clark hits him in the back with a chair to break it up. Everything breaks down and O’Haire drops the Swanton on Vampiro, only to have Adams get in a quick pin on Muta a half second before, keeping the titles on Kronik.

Rating: D+. It’s another mess of a match as is so often the case in WCW but at least the ending was pretty hot. There are way too many teams going after the belts at this point though and it’s getting to be too much to take. Just let them fight one at a time and put the titles on whoever you want to put them on.

Muta and Vampiro mist the champs and take the belts.

Cat gives Shane Douglas a Viagra on a pole match against Kidman tonight.

Jindrak and O’Haire say this isn’t over.

Kidman vs. Shane Douglas

Viagra on a pole. Seriously. Before the match, Shane thinks this is stupid. Well at least he still gets the obvious. Shane goes after Kidman to start but gets backdropped out to the floor, followed by a baseball slide into the steps. Back in and Shane kicks him down as Madden talks about Viagra on a pole matches from years past.

Shane rolls some suplex and puts on a chinlock as we’re waiting on the first attempt to go up. The Pittsburgh Plunge drops Kidman and Madden stays on the sex jokes. Kidman gets up though and hits a quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch), allowing him to get the bottle. Torrie offers a distraction though and Shane grabs a Franchiser, allowing him to steal the bottle for the win. I’m assuming that means he also deals with the legal issues of handing out what were probably prescribed pills.

Rating: D. As usual, this was a big mess with the pole only being an excuse to let them have a lame match. I still don’t know why I’d want to see these two fight again but the match was pretty generic stuff. These two could have a good match if you just, you know, let them, but that’s out of the question.

Booker asks Sting if they’re still on. Sting is ready and Booker says this is for the people.

Miss Hancock and Major Gunns get in a food fight in the back to start their “hardcore match”. In the ring, A-Wall beats up David Flair until the women come in. I guess this is a match now.

Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

Hancock throws her into the table Wall set up for a pin. I have no idea how long this actually was and I really don’t think anyone cares. Well Russo does as I’m sure this is another fantasy of his for whatever reason.

The Nitro Girls like Kidman after the Viagra match.

Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash

Straitjacket match meaning you put your opponent in a straitjacket and beat on them until you get tired of it. Those are Cat’s official rules. Nash gets in a quick side slam for a cover but there’s no referee as there are no covers. Instead Nash goes with the boot choke but Midajah gets on the apron, allowing Steiner to hit Nash low. The belly to belly sets up the pushups as the announcers plug an interview with VINCE RUSSO on Thunder.

They head outside with Nash being sent into the barricade (I think they’re shooting here!), only to pop up and fire off right hands back inside. Steiner takes a chokeslam and a Midajah chair shot has no effect on Nash. That earns Midajah a Jackknife (Madden: “Her head is between his legs!”) but Nash has to kick Rick Steiner in the face. Scott hits Nash with the chair and the straitjacket goes on. Scott puts on the Recliner for the win.

Rating: D-. What do you expect from Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash in a gimmick match with Rick interfering? They kept it short but that doesn’t mean it’s something interesting. I’m still annoyed at Nash for beating Storm down earlier tonight though so I approve of him taking a beating.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Sting

Booker is defending and limps to the ring as the announcers plug Russo’s interview again. Note that Goldberg and Nash’s interviews weren’t plugged but they’re just not as important. They trade shoulders and hiptosses to start and Sting can’t get either early Deathlock attempt. It’s time to go outside with Sting sending him into the barricade, only to have his top rope splash hit knees. Thankfully Booker sells the knee, only to pop up for an ax kick for two.

They hit heads and Sting falls to the floor, only to have someone pull him under the ring. Someone who appears to be Demon (Sting’s opponent at New Blood Rising) shoves a bloody Sting back out and he elbows Booker in the face a few times. Sting gets two off a DDT but the Death Drop is countered into the Bookend to retain Booker’s title.

Rating: C. Imagine that: you give two of the most talented guys in the company a few minutes and they have one of the better matches of the night. They’re doing a really good job of building Booker up as a main event star as he’s pinned Goldberg and Sting in back to back weeks. Of course he lost to Jarrett in the middle but you can’t win them all, even if you’re World Champion.

Post match Sting goes after Demon but Vampiro makes a save. Jarrett comes out to blast Booker with a guitar before tying a rope around the knee to hang Booker upside down. At the same time, Sting is put in a coffin which Demon sets on fire with a torch. Jarrett cracks another guitar over the knee to end the show WHILE STING IS BEING BURNED ALIVE. Yeah that’s just background noise now. In WWE it sets up a Wrestlemania showdown. In WCW it sets up Jeff Jarrett attacking Booker T.’s bad knee.

Overall Rating: D. If Sting being burned alive not closing the show isn’t enough to sum this show up, I don’t think anything is going to. You couple that with the Viagra on a pole match and a food fight between the women and it’s clear that Russo is back at his Russoiest. There’s just too much stuff going on here and little of it is worth seeing. One of the few things that was worth seeing was Lance Storm but Nash literally threw him out of the way so we could set up a straitjacket match as part of the reality angle that the world is clamoring for. There’s your latest reason why WCW has less than eight months to go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 26, 2000
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden

The Russo style is back in full force, meaning it’s time for this show to fall through the floor all over again. We’re coming up on New Blood Rising and other than the main event, it’s hard to say what kind of nonsense is going to take place there. These shows are starting to make less and less sense every week but you have to expect that when a nitwit is on top. Let’s get to it.

The Cat is standing by his limo when the Jung Dragons attack, this time with a sledgehammer. Yang smashes the window by mistake and Smooth the limo driver freaks out. Cat gives him a 3-1 match later tonight.

3 Count vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio

Evan is out with a knee injury but before we get going, Tank wants a dance contest against Konnan and Disco. It’s just a ruse though and the fight is on quickly. Shannon gets two on Rey off a springboard cross body but here are the Jung Dragons to interfere. We settle down to Juvy…..possibly countering a German suplex. He was supposed to flip over and land on his feet but didn’t get all the way over, making it unclear if he got hurt or not.

Rey springboards in with a clothesline for two as Tony talks about Latino style being very hot in popular music. Shannon drops Rey with a sleeper drop for two but the Animals come back with something like What’s Up, only with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination gets two on Rey, only to have Shannon take the Juvy Driver and 450 for the pin.

Rating: C+. So we have these two fun teams but we’re getting people like the Perfect Event in the title match. The Animals may be incredibly annoying but at the same time they can still go this well in the ring. On top of that, why are none of these guys going after the Cruiserweight Title? Why are we stuck with the nonsense we’ve had to see for all these months? We’ll go with “because WCW” and move on.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He doesn’t like Goldberg but after Monday he has to respect him. However, Goldberg needs to save the trauma (yes trauma) for his mama. These are his people here and he’ll die in this ring to defend his title. Cue Jeff Jarrett to say he wants a lights out, unsanctioned match against Booker tonight with the title NOT on the line to protect Cat’s pay per view main event. The fight is on and Tony says there’s no holding them back as security holds them back. So we have Goldberg, Scott Steiner and even Kevin Nash waiting to challenge Booker but we’re getting Jeff Jarrett? Really?

Post break Cat makes the match but threatens to beat up Booker and Jarrett if they don’t calm down.

Miss Hancock wants to arm wrestle Major Gunns tonight.

The Artist vs. Skip Over

That would be Elix Skipper and for reasons I’ve never been able to explain, I’ve always been a big fan. Artist superkicks him at the bell as Tenay calls Skip part of the new blood (not the New Blood of course). Over spin kicks Artist in the face and hits a nice looking missile dropkick. Artist grabs a northern lights suplex for two of his own, followed by an Angle Slam.

Since this is a meaningless match against a rookie, Artist needs a chair. Skip baseball slides it into his face but Artist pops right back up. Paisley tries to hand him the chair but Kwee Wee comes out to lure her away. So much for that idea. Back in the ring, the chair has disappeared and Over takes Artist down with a springboard spinwheel kick. The Overdrive (That ridiculous spinning Fameasser thing. I’m still not sure how that’s supposed to be a finishing move.) gives Over the upset.

Rating: D+. Fun little match here but as usual it’s bogged down by all the other stuff going on at the same time. The Paisley/Kwee Wee stuff needs to go somewhere already. Not that it’s been a long, drawn out story but more along the lines of the faster that happens, the faster we can get Artist off TV.

MIA is in the back and Gene looks at Major Gunns’ chest. See it’s funny because he’s old.

Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by the ear so they can go find the Cat. I guess this is supposed to be funny too.

M.I. Smooth vs. Jung Dragons

As usual, Mark keeps saying “last night” to refer to Monday, as in two days earlier. During the entrances, Tony says Goldberg can’t make his scheduled appearance. Instead: Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. Oh I’m sure the fans are going to be thrilled. Like all three of them who show up. Smooth is in a shirt and tie and the Dragons stomp him down for three straight near falls. Jamie and Kaz are sent to the floor, leaving Smooth to powerslam and full nelson bomb Jamie for the pin.

So let’s stop for a second here and look at what we’re supposed to just accept here: Smooth, a non-wrestler (yes I know he was Ice Train but that’s never mentioned here) just happened to debut here, wore street clothes, had theme music, knew wrestling moves, and beat a team in a featured pay per view match completely clean in under two minutes.

We’re supposed to just go with this and then pay to see the Dragons, who are more guys who should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt, at New Blood Rising. You can blame a lot of things for WCW going under, but this is the kind of thing that really should be near the top of the list. These things happened WAY too often around here and the fans are just supposed to go with them. At some point the fans are going to get tired of having their intelligence insulted and watch something else. WCW reached that point a long time ago and it’s a big reason why they’re not around today.

The Bagwells come into Cat’s office and Judy says she can be the solution to the ratings problem. Cat gives her the match she wants, whatever that is. Another reason this company is a mess right now: middle aged women coming in off the street and talking about ratings like they’re something people discuss in casual conversation. I write about wrestling for a living and I barely discuss ratings with my wrestling friends, let alone some random person I strike up a chat with at Wal-Mart. As usual, Russo and Ferrara or whoever is writing this show has no idea how normal people talk in real life and it sounds really awkward.

It’s time for arm wrestling and I’ll let you fill in most of the details here. Hancock is in a red shirt here and takes off the jacket for a change. David Flair is guest referee for the sake of comedy and makes sure to cheat to help Hancock win. Gunns freaks out so Hancock sprays hairspray in her face. There goes Gunns’ top but the Wall, now in MIA gear, comes out to chokeslam Flair. He talks to the blind Gunns and says “it’s me, it’s me” (that D-O-Double G?) to calm her down.

Kanyon says he needs to find a Kimberly. Judy is feeling the BANG tonight though.

The MIA rename the Wall as A-Wall (that’s actually kind of clever) and shave his head.

Muta and Vampiro have beaten down Kronik.

Great Muta/Vampiro vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

This is the result of Muta and Vampiro issuing an open challenge. O’Haire starts with Muta and takes him down with a dropkick off those long legs of his. Vampiro and Jindrak fight on the floor before coming in, which I guess counts as a double tag in this match. Jindrak kicks him in the face and brings Sean back in for a clothesline.

It’s already back to Jindrak so Muta comes in and kicks him a few times before officially coming in off the tag. The refereeing sucks around here. The heels pound away on Jindrak for a bit until he snaps off a powerslam and tags in Sean to clean house. Muta will have none of that and snaps off a dragon screw legwhip before twisting on the knee to make Sean tap. Too short to rate but it was energetic while it lasted.

Post match Demon comes out to help with the beatdown but Kronik makes the save and hurts people.

Judy puts Buff in a room and tells him to stay there. What in the world did Buff do to deserve this story?

Big Vito wants a rematch with Lance Storm.

Judy Bagwell vs. Kanyon

After Judy comes out to Buff’s pyro and Madden reminds us that she used to be a World Tag Team Champion (gah), Kanyon says he’s Diamond Cut her already. Tonight though, it’s going to be the Kanyon Cutter so Judy needs to leave before this gets bad. The match starts and it’s a bunch of shoving and slapping until Kanyon grabs her for the Kanyon Cutter. This brings out Buff, who is told to stay in the aisle or his mom gets hurt. Kanyon wants a match at New Blood Rising and if Judy wins, she’s Kanyon’s Kimberly. Buff agrees and the camera cuts away as Kanyon lays her out (thanks to TBS).

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about the G-rated tape from Monday.

Kidman has another tape.

Kanyon is driving away, gets out and Kanyon Cuts a guard, then leaves. Funniest thing on the show by about a mile so far.

Here are Torrie and Shane with Torrie being annoyed at Kidman for what he did on Monday. Torrie: “Do you know what kind of a position you put me in?” Shane says play the new tape and it’s the two of them sitting on a bed. Shane apologizes over and over again for “performance issues” and they storm out of the ring.

Storm says he’ll give Vito a Hardcore Title match with no weapons allowed.

Shane leaves to get some air when Kidman comes up to laugh at Torrie. This is of course stupid and Shane beats Kidman down.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Vito is challenging and jumps Storm during O Canada, sending Madden into hysterics again. The usual low level offense sends Storm outside and it’s a superkick and kind of fall away slam for two on the champ. A good looking top rope elbow gets two for Vito and the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Vito with a chair for two. Vito comes right back with a German suplex and clothesline but Storm calmly grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission to retain. Again too short to rate but Vito comes off as a guy who tries when he’s out there.

Awesome runs in and lays out Storm.

Just like last week with Nash, here’s a sitdown interview with Goldberg. First up is Hall blaming Goldberg for Scott Hall being gone but Goldberg really doesn’t care what Nash says. The Outsiders wanted Goldberg on their side because they knew he was going to be a big deal. Nash has no appreciation for the fans but Goldberg does everything he does for the fans. As a heel remember. Hudson: “For the last few months you’ve played the heel for World Championship Wrestling.” Goldberg says he hasn’t been comfortable with it because that’s not who he is.

Someone thought turning him heel was a good idea that might help the ratings but it’s totally against what Goldberg is. With his eyes bugging out but in the same voice, Goldberg wants to refute what Nash said last week. The last thing he thought he was going to do was be a wrestler because he wanted to be a pro football player. Now he has a chance to give back to the fans. He can shake a sick kid’s hand and give them a smile which is worth more than anything else he could get. Goldberg: “Nash is right. I don’t love this sport.”

Hudson calls the work with the kids paying his dues. Goldberg says Nash has “paid his dues” for fifteen years and he won’t ever be in the spot Goldberg reached in three years. Amen brother. Goldberg brings up Nash breaking the Streak two weeks after Nash got on the booking committee. Hudson brings up the three way at New Blood Rising and Goldberg says his immediate goal is to make Nash suffer for all the damage Nash has done to his career.

What Goldberg is doing right now is taking one for the team instead of what he wants to be doing. When a promoter is looking at a card, he doesn’t care about paying dues because it’s all about who is going to draw the most money. All it means is that he’s the right character and the right person to see this through. Hall and Nash didn’t pop the business like he and Hogan did. Hogan, Flair and Arn Anderson made this business what it is today. I love Arn but that’s more of a stretch than I can handle.

The only way Nash is winning in Vancouver is to put himself back on that booking committee because Goldberg is going to kill him. Nash saying he doesn’t care what the bookers say sounds like a challenge because Nash can’t run away on those old knees of his. Goldberg recommends ice and Advil because Nash is going to need them. That wraps things up with no mention of Booker T. and Monday’s match whatsoever.

…….WOW. Just like last week, this would have been one heck of a shoot interview. If this had been from RF Video or something like that, it would be really entertaining to listen to. The problem is THIS IS A MAJOR WRESTLING SHOW. Think back with me to CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb. Punk ranted about how Cena was just an act and how he was being held back, but it was all building to a wrestling match, not some scripted deal where they may or may not do what the bookers (more on that in a second) told them to do.

This brings us to the big problem that was there last week: how many fans knew what was going on? Serious question: how many fans watching this heard the word “booker” and thought they were talking about Booker T.? I know it sounds stupid today but is it really that much of a stretch?

This is more of Russo trying to make himself sound smart and thinking that EVERYONE is on Meltzer’s mailing list in July 2000 because he reads that stuff every five minutes. This probably went over the heads of 98% of fans and it’s really annoying to sit through these ten minute interviews to set up a match that is going to suck because Nash is involved and can barely do anything. But hey, they’re WORKING US and that’s what matters, even if no one but them cares.

Madden: “So no matter what the creative committee tells Nash, Goldberg and Steiner, they’re just going to do what they want?” Oh screw off WCW. Good grief man. Like I said: Punk vs. Cena came together in a wrestling match, not some thing where they were going off script. Mainly because THEY NEVER SAID THEY HAD A SCRIPT because that’s the stupidest thing you can do in a wrestling promotion.

Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Non-title and anything goes. Jeff has a Sting style trench coat on for no logical reason. Cat is on commentary and says he’s not Commissioner at this point, though he insists Madden call him Commissioner. This is billed as a Bunkhouse Brawl because we’re all cowboys who love to ride horses. They brawl into the crowd to start with Booker in control until Jeff hits him in the head with a shovel. Tony tries to call it but Cat cuts him off to announce Sting vs. Booker T. for the title on Monday.

Amazingly enough Booker isn’t dead after BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL so Jeff puts him in a wheelbarrow and rams him into the barricade. Back in and Booker chokes with a bullrope but Jeff hits him in the face with….something made of metal. A middle rope guitar shot misses (Tony: “This pales in comparison to being hit in the head with a shovel.” I actually stopped the video and shouted “WHAT???” at the screen when Tony said that. Ignoring that it’s a breakaway guitar, METAL IS A LOT HARDER THAN WOOD YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) but Jeff starts choking with the bullrope.

Cat stays on his ratings kick as Jeff chokes Booker with a rope for two arm drops. Booker fights up and hits the spinning forearm as Tony admits that Booker is a superhero. The ax kick and a Spinarooni connect but Jeff guitars the bad knee and puts on the Figure Four with Booker hanging over the apron. Booker passes out from the pain. Well in theory at least as he was still conscious and didn’t say he gave up but the referee stopped it anyway.

Rating: D. It’s not often in my life as a fan that I’m disgusted by how stupid something is but that’s what happened here. This was giving away what wasn’t going to be an interesting main event in the first place and having them use a bunch of weapons before we get the boring version in a few weeks. Oh and make sure the champion loses because that’s going to draw interest in the rematch.

I looked at Jeff after the match and my goodness the level of not caring went through the roof. He’s just so uninteresting in this role and unfortunately we’re stuck because Russo, the undisputed king of insanity and over the top booking, thinks the most generic heel in forever is worth pushing on top.

Overall Rating: F. Let me make this clear: there was good stuff on this show. The opener was fun and some of the Kanyon stuff was amusing. If you take those parts on their own, you would have had a pretty entertaining show and WCW would have come off looking a lot stronger than they did coming into this week. However, there was a lot of other stuff this week too.

I know I often talk about WCW acting like its fans are stupid. However, in this case, it felt worse than ever. This actually felt like they wanted me to be angry at them and walk off, never to watch again. Between the Goldberg shoot, a shovel to the head not putting someone down for more than twenty seconds, Kanyon suddenly wanting Judy Bagwell as his valet, everyone (and their mother in this case) talking about ratings and a man having performance issues, I felt like I was watching the kind of show that non-wrestling fans pretend all wrestling is to make fun of it.

That’s what Thunder and WCW as a whole have become: juvenile, unfunny people making fun of wrestling because they want to laugh instead of trying to take this seriously. This felt like a parody of a wrestling promotion but it still wasn’t funny. What is there on here that makes me want to come back? I’m not seeing it anywhere and I really don’t want to see where things go from here.

It’s not funny anymore and I don’t know why people would think it’s going to get any better from here on out. More than anything else, that makes me sad, because it feels like the people in charge are glad it’s going under because it makes them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. This really is a case of people treating this place like a playground and not caring at all what happens to anyone as long as they get a good laugh at our expense. Enjoy what you’re getting WCW, because this is all on you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #250
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

The shows have been a lot better lately but you know the bad has to be coming at some point. In this case the big story has been Scott Steiner going insane, along with the return of Kevin Nash. New Blood Rising is coming soon enough and I’m sure you’ve all heard of the reputation that show has attained. Let’s get to it.

No recap from last week this time as it’s Lance Storm kicking things off. We get O Canada with the Canadian flag being lowered above the ring. Storm gets in a few jabs at America for being weak and promises to defeat Mike Awesome again at New Blood Rising. He needs to be at his best for that match so let’s have a warmup right now. This brings out Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who I guess is now a face. Vito wants a fight but Storm wants to make it title vs. title. Terms accepted and Storm hits him before the bell.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Storm takes over to start but Vito grabs a Japanese armdrag and clotheslines Lance down. We get the cone between Storm’s legs and it’s already table time. Vito takes too long though and gets superplexed for two as Madden continues to cheer for Storm. A quick arm trap suplex (and a good looking one too) sends Storm flying and Vito’s top rope elbow gets two. The implant DDT (not jumping Tony) gets a delayed two, which is even more impressive when you consider Vito just grabbed the leg and wasn’t over Storm’s chest. They trade superkicks but Storm grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission and both titles.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as Vito is totally fine when you have someone there to walk him through everything. Storm being a double champion is interesting and it’s a good sign to see someone showing up and getting pushed to some early gold. Also, how nice is it to start with a match instead of a bunch of talking?

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He thanks the fans for having his back because without them, he wouldn’t be the World Champion. Booker is tired of hearing about Jeff Jarrett running around in the back talking about how he should be the champ, so at New Blood Rising, he’s taking Jarrett to school. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. I still don’t really get how that applies to most of his promos.

Instead of Jarrett, here’s Goldberg to a big face pop because it was really stupid to turn him heel. Last week Booker put his hands on him (it was his foot actually) so tonight, Booker is next. Booker says it’s on so here’s the Cat. It’s not so simple as just handing the title shot to Goldberg, because we’re going to put the vote up to the fans, who can go to WCW.com and vote for Goldberg or Sting. Goldberg lays out the Cat but Booker makes the save, drawing out security. In case you didn’t know who WCW wanted in the title match of course. Cat promises that he owes Goldberg some payback now.

We go to the commentary table, where Mark Madden is billed as “TV’s Best Looking Man.” Kidman is here for some reason and he’s one of TEN options to face Booker for the title tonight. Here are the options:

Goldberg

Sting

Billy Kidman

Lance Storm

Mike Awesome

Positively Kanyon

Buff Bagwell

Shane Douglas

Stevie Ray

Vampiro

Miss Hancock/David Flair vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Kidman is on commentary for no apparent reason and has a birthday present for Torrie Wilson: a sex tape of the two of them together. Why he’s here during this match isn’t clear but he promises to play the tape later tonight. The guys start as the announcers change the rules of the ROTC match by making it a Boot Camp match in the mud. I don’t even want to know how that is supposed to work. Hancock slides in a chair so Gunns chases her around the ring as Loco stomps Flair down in the corner. Everything breaks down and Hancock cross bodies David by mistake. A lot of yelling allows Gunns to roll her up for the pin.

Gunns loads up mouth to mouth on Loco but David pulls her away so Hancock can rip off Gunns’ top. Loco gets up to make the save.

Jarrett comes in to Cat’s office and demands that he get his title shot tonight. Cat tells him to get out so Jeff knocks stuff off the desk. Jeff gets a title shot but against Kronik.

Sting, still under a mask, says it’s really him (and it certainly sounds like him). He doesn’t care what the booking committee says because the mask is coming off tonight. Dang it Sting you’re better than that.

Goldberg is sure the fans will pick him but if not, their pick is leaving in a body bag.

Brian Adams is ready to go to the ring but a thud is heard and Brian Clark is found with a guitar broken over his head.

Tag Team Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kronik

Jarrett is challenging and is out here very quickly if he was the one to hit Clark. In other words, this is a singles match for the Tag Team Titles, at least to start. Tony: “We’re going to see action.” Madden: “No. We’re going to see Torrie Wilson DOING IT DOING IT DOING IT!” Jarrett goes right after him to start but Adams punches him down with ease. A very fast piledriver gets two on Jeff but they’re quickly to the floor where Adams is sent into the steps.

Back in and Jeff keeps control by poking an eye (I miss that so much) and gets two off a faceplant. The full nelson slam plants Jeff but Adams opts for a big boot and legdrop (Madden: “That move never wins!”) for two instead. Adams goes after the referee for no apparent reason, allowing Jarrett to poke him in the throat with the guitar.

That’s only good for two though and Adams gets the same off a gorilla press into a gutbuster. Cue Clark with a broken guitar to lay out Jarrett, followed by the Meltdown. Clark isn’t done though as he wants High Times through the table. The referee says no so he takes it instead, drawing the no contest/DQ, whichever it is when the referee is out cold.

Rating: D. Yeah imagine that: Jeff Jarrett vs. Crush isn’t the best match in the world. I thought they were going somewhere with the mystery attacker on Jarrett unless they’re going to pull something else later tonight. I’m not sure what the point was in having Jarrett get back out there so quickly but the match didn’t work. Thankfully they didn’t change the titles though.

Vampiro surprises Cat in his office and wants to take out Great Muta. They’ll do it together because Cat is a ninja.

Torrie admits that the tape is real.

We get an update on the poll: Sting has 35%, Goldberg has 30% and Vampiro is the only other person in double figures with 10%.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

Cat is referee after Muta sprayed mist in his eyes on Thunder. Vampiro kicks the Cat down so Cat beats up the Insane Clown Posse. Muta kicks Cat and we’ve got a heel stable. Demon runs out and helps in the beating. The Cat fights up and beats up the Clowns because no one can look bad in this company.

Booker promises he’ll retain.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. ???

The challenger is…….Sting. Well in theory at least as Goldberg jumps Sting in the aisle and gives him the Bret Killer kick. Sting is stretchered out and Goldberg says he wants the shot. Booker is in and gets taken down by an early clothesline and World’s Strongest Slam. The champ bails outside and gets kicked in the face again, followed by a ram into the steps to bust him open. A cross armbreaker sends Booker bailing to the ropes but here’s Stevie Ray to throw in the towel. Goldberg throws it out before the referee sees it so Cat comes out and says Goldberg gets the win. The title doesn’t change though since Goldberg didn’t beat him.

So Goldberg just destroyed Sting in ten seconds and squashed the World Champion in three minutes. No he didn’t give up or get pinned, but this was totally one sided with Goldberg not giving up a thing. Booker is still champion because he didn’t give up, but he looks like the biggest lame duck in history. Well done WCW. It only took that much to get GOLDBERG over again. Oh and well done again on dangling a carrot in front of the fans with the poll and then saying HA! We still get what we want! Why do the poll then?

Post break Booker tells Cat to restart the match or he’s out of the company. Cat actually agrees.

Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

Buff has his mom with him AGAIN. Why do you think this is a good idea? Even Mark Madden (now saying “sex tape” in almost every sentence) thinks it’s stupid to keep doing this. No Kanyon for some reason so Judy swears about wanting him to come out here. Buff declares himself the winner but the cameraman jumps him, revealing himself as Kanyon in a good looking wig. No match, again.

Buff fights him off at first but walks into a Kanyon Cutter. Kanyon chases Judy to the back (she’s not as fast as you would think) and throws her in the back of a car before driving away.

Post break, Bagwell gives chase.

Kidman brags about the tape again.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Before the match, Shane says he and Torrie (Looking great again this week. Like better than she usually does.) are used to the finer things in life so they’re getting out of this town as fast as possible. Mike brings three of his women with him to even things out. I’m not sure how the math works on that but most of WCW doesn’t work at this point. Mike clotheslines him a few times to start and goes to the top for a springboard shoulder out to the floor. Madden: “Break out the Oreos girls! Mike wants to party down!”

Torrie rakes the eyes to give Shane a breather and we hit the neck crank because Shane is already out of offense I guess. It doesn’t last long Awesome fights back and hits the splash (not the Awesome splash but just a splash from Awesome) for two. Now he loads up the Awesome splash (which is also a splash from Awesome) but Torrie grabs the leg, allowing Shane to get in some chain shots to the ribs. He loads up something off the top but it’s time for the sex tape on the big screen. In the distraction, Awesome hits him with a weight (where did he get that?) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Weights, Oreos, Mike’s gimmick and a sex tape. How did we get from Shane Douglas to Mike Awesome to all those things in a single match? This would be another good example of the entertainment (allegedly) overtaking the wrestling (which wasn’t the best in the first place) and neither working.

Kidman comes out with a pair of Torrie’s underwear.

Shane attacks a production guy over the tape.

Here’s Kidman again (third time tonight) to say he made copies of the tape. We cut to the back where various people are watching. The Jung Dragons are having a really good time. Hudson: “I guarantee you they’re not watching Starrcade.” We cut to the truck where Shane promises to kill Kidman when he gets his hands on him. As in the Kidman currently in the ring. Speaking of Kidman, he throws the underwear to the crowd.

And now, Caged Heat is lowered. The build for this earlier in the night: Tony mentioning the cage was above the ring.

Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Filthy Animals vs. Perfect Event vs. Corporal Cajun/General Rection

Remember that this is inside Caged Heat (Hell in a Cell). The idea here is you have to escape the cage but it’s under elimination (I guess?) rules and the last team left in the cage is not in the four way match at New Blood Rising. Let me repeat that: it’s a four team elimination Hell in a Cell match to qualify for another four way Tag Team Title match with only one of them actually not qualifying. Normally I would make a joke here but I think this writes itself.

Palumbo goes for the door to start as Konnan talks about avocados. The Misfits clear out the ring, which would seem to put everyone else on the advantage wouldn’t it? Everyone brawls on the floor with the cameras all in extreme closeups, meaning you can only see a few people at a time. Mysterio and Juvy throw Jindrak and O’Haire out, sending Jindrak and O’Haire to New Blood Rising.

Perfect Event gets away and walks out, finally leaving us with a match that I can keep track of. Juvy breaks up No Laughing Matter so Rey can hit the Bronco Buster….as Perfect Event locks the cage. Never fear though as Konnan just happens to have bolt cutters. Does this surprise anyone? Cue Disco on top of the cage to try and break in, allowing Juvy and Rey to pull out a ladder.

The speculation is that the Animals were in cahoots with the Perfect Event……which makes no sense as the Perfect Event could have just let them out the door when they had the advantage but whatever. This also ignores the BOLT CUTTERS that could have let the Animals get out since they had the advantage. Rey and Juvy dive off the ladder instead of climbing out, only to have the Misfits get up almost immediately.

Rection and Mysterio get on the roof as Juvy and Cajun go through the door at the same time. Tony: “I think Juvy went out first so MIA won it.” Even the announcers have no idea how the rules work. Tony: “Does being on the roof count as being out? We’re completely lost.” Now Konnan sets up a table at ringside as Disco helps beat up Rey on the roof.

Cajun gets Juvy on the table as Rection teases an elbow off the cage, only to have Rey break it up. Konnan and Juvy throw Cajun through the table and the other two get back inside. Rey tries to drop off the roof into a hurricanrana but Rection catches him in a powerbomb and leaves for the win. Well co-win.

Rating: R. For Rube Goldberg Machine. I don’t remember the last time I saw something so complicated for the sake of such an easy task as “get the Filthy Animals out of the pay per view match”. This came out of nowhere and was such a mess that the announcers had no idea what was going on.

I mean……wow. They threw out a huge gimmick match with no warning, no story, no reason for this to be happening, a goal that is far easier to accomplish and a plan that has absolutely no logic behind it. This is also the longest match on the show tonight and the World Title match (as in the second one tonight, in theory at least) is going on with less than six minutes to go in the show, including entrances.

We immediately cut to Booker telling Stevie he has to do this.

With five and a half minutes to go in the show, we need to see Stevie asking Goldberg to not do this and get thrown through a window for his efforts.

Oh and then a replay.

Stevie is loaded into an ambulance with Booker by his side.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Goldberg

Booker is defending for the second time tonight. Goldberg gets the full backstage entrance but thankfully Booker charges down the aisle to jump him from behind, meaning we’ll have 3:16 to go at the opening bell. Goldberg knocks him down but Booker hits a quick ax kick with a brace on his knee as they get inside. It doesn’t seem to matter as Goldberg snaps him down with a powerslam and goes after the cut on the forehead.

Cue Jarrett with a chair to Goldberg (apparently this is No DQ, which the announcers seem to think we knew coming in), earning himself a spear, which he sells almost as well as anyone I’ve ever seen. This brings out the Cat in a referee shirt to knock Goldberg down with a kick to the face (oh please) and the Book End gives Booker the pin at a whopping 2:27.

Goldberg pops up (good) and hits the two moves on Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh geez do you think Russo is back in charge yet? We had a match that was so complicated that I was confused before it even started, Booker vs. Goldberg twice with Goldberg getting pinned in less than 150 seconds and a string of matches that either didn’t have a finish or didn’t have time to get anywhere because we needed to give Russo’s big idea ten minutes, or nearly double what anything else had all night. So much for the string of good shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 19, 2000
Location: Breslin Students Events Center, East Lansing, Michigan
Attendance: 5,738
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This is a rare live Thunder though I can’t imagine it’s going to make the show any better than it usually is. The big story at the moment is Scott Steiner being all insane and breaking various things, only to get beaten down by Kevin Nash, like so many people before him have been. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. As usual, that was the kind of show that flew by so fast that I could barely remember half of it anyway so for once this was helpful.

Harlem Heat arrives. I know I ask this a lot but what is Russo’s obsession with showing people getting out of cars?

Jeff Jarrett is doing commentary tonight. Oh geez. He gets in two slappy’s before he even sits down.

Crowbar vs. Mike Sanders

Sanders is Above Average and had been on Saturday Night all the way back in 1998. Crowbar looks out at the crowd for some reason, allowing Sanders to get in some forearms to the back for an early two. A German suplex sends Sanders flying as the announcers point out Lenny Lane’s huge USE ME sign. Hopefully that makes him put the thing down because it’s really distracting.

They head outside with Sanders stopping a charge with a superkick, followed by a dancing knee drop back inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit as the USE ME sign is back. I’m sure the handful of fans that paid for seats behind him (as he goes up and down the row) are thrilled to have their view blocked by a lame angle that isn’t going to go anywhere.

Crowbar gets two off a Lionsault and Daffney adds a Frankenscreamer (is she immune to the no interference policy?) to send Sanders outside. Mike is sat in a chair for a plancha from Crowbar (Jarrett: “What kind of rasslin is that?”) but Daffney’s distraction allows Sanders to steal Jeff’s guitar and knock Crowbar out for the pin. Jarrett: “He won the match with Slapnuts.” So is Slapnuts the guitar?

Rating: C. Sanders will soon find his calling as a talker but this was much more about establishing someone new on the roster. There’s definitely a push of some new talent around this time but it’s so far past too late at this point that it’s only more false hope. Still though, it’s always cool to see someone fresh instead of the same horrible acts that have choked the life out of this company.

Lenny Lane is escorted off by security. Thank goodness.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say but Rick Steiner jumps him from behind before anything can be said. Stevie Ray comes out for the save and Jeff joins in on the brawl until security breaks it up.

Daffney screams a lot and runs off with a chair to find Mike Sanders. For some reason I want to see where this goes.

Lane is being taken away when he runs into the Cat. All the Laniacs (I believe they meet in the same room as the Jericholics) want is their leader back. Cat: “You’re not a leader. You’re a jobber.” For some reason Cat has a pebble in his pocket and says Lane can have a match if he can take it from his hand. Lane takes it away easily so Cat shouts that he didn’t say go. The result: a tables match vs. the Wall.

Here’s new US Champion Lance Storm. After the full Canadian national anthem, Storm gets right to the point by listing off some great US Champions. However, that title is dead because he’s renaming the US Title the Canadian Heavyweight Championship and puts a Maple Leaf sticker on the front.

As the announcers freak out (save for Heenan because he’s Bobby Heenan), Storm demands respect from the fans and asks security to bring in a typical American fan. This means an overweight woman, who Storm rips on for not being in shape. Cue Mike Awesome for the save but Kanyon runs out to try a Kanyon Cutter on the woman. This brings in Buff Bagwell and I’m guessing it’s a tag match later.

Jarrett offers to teach Sanders how to swing a guitar and knocks him cold. So much for Sanders meaning anything.

Miss Hancock has gotten David Flair a Cruiserweight Title shot tonight and promises, ahem, some fun to him if he wins.

Lenny Lane vs. The Wall

Tables match because that’s what Wall does. Wall powerslams him to start and throws Lane across the ring with ease. Lane breaks up a superplex attempt and pounds away in the corner, only to charge into something like a backdrop/hot shot, sending him throat first into the middle turnbuckle. They go outside with Lane going throat first across the barricade before Wall sets up the first table. He takes too long though and gets knocked off the apron and through the table to give Lane his job back…..in his last match with the promotion. Only in WCW.

The Misfits are given their assignments.

Mike Sanders is still getting up (that’s quite the guitar shot) when Daffney comes in and hits him with a chair. “How do you like that rookie?”

Lenny Lane is happy in his locker room (because if you show up with no job, you have a locker room) when Wall comes in. It’s implied that Wall took a dive.

The Filthy Animals sneak into Kronik’s locker room.

Cruiserweight Title: David Flair vs. Lieutenant Loco

David is challenging and wearing a suit here. Loco jumps him from behind and gets two off an early side slam. Hancock distracts Loco because……well because she’s Miss Hancock and it’s not that difficult for her to distract someone, allowing David to take over off a suplex. Loco comes right back with basic stuff, including a bunch of chops after ripping off David’s shirt. Hancock tries to bring in a chair but David gets caught in a sunset flip instead. Some cheating backfires as the referee catches Hancock holding David’s hands. Cue Major Gunns to chase Hancock off, leaving Loco to tornado DDT David onto a chair to retain.

Gunns goes to give David mouth to mouth but Hancock starts a catfight. Yep it’s time for this feud.

Cat reinstates Lane and fires Wall for taking a dive. That earns Cat a beating from the big man. Security breaks it up and I’m pretty sure Chris Harris and James Storm could be seen.

Sanders is getting up again when Kanyon runs in for a Cutter. Well if they’re going to treat the guy like a goon, at least it’s funny.

The Jung Dragons beat up the Cat because they finally have an open shot.

Tank Abbott vs. Great Muta

Mike Tenay has had to leave commentary due to some throat issues. Tank forearms a few times but gets kicked down to set up the Power Drive elbow. Cue the Dragons to help with a beatdown so here’s the Cat to help Tank. That earns him some mist to the face, allowing Tank to knock Muta out for the pin. Was Muta REALLY that bored in Japan that he called up WCW and agreed to put over Tank Abbott on live TV?

Major Gunns challenges Miss Hancock to a Rip off the Camouflage (ROTC) match at New Blood Rising. Gene is WAY too happy about this.

Kronik’s locker room has been trashed so they tell a crew member to keep an eye on the door. As soon as they leave, it’s another Kanyon Cutter. He’s getting really good at those things.

Jarrett and Rick Steiner are making plans for the match when Midajah comes in to say she’ll do anything tonight.

Kronik vs. Filthy Animals

Disco/Juvy/Rey here in a handicap match with Juvy and Rey coming out in Kronik’s vest coats. Juvy tries to jump Clark from behind as Konnan babbles in whatever language he uses on commentary. I know it’s not English and I know it’s not Spanish but it involves cherries and potatoes. Kronik gets annoyed at the Animals for getting in their way and chases them out to the apron.

Rey comes in and gets to face Adams, which is one of the most backwards face vs. heel dynamics I’ve ever seen. Mysterio springboards into a full nelson slam and Adams throws Disco into him for good measure. The Animals finally take over on Clark with a Bronco Buster but Clark throws Juvy away with ease. Everything breaks down and High Times plants Disco for two (called three by Tony), followed by the powerbomb/top rope clothesline for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Some of Kronik’s offense looked cool here but the commentary from Konnan took away any of the good this match had going for it. Thankfully the Animals aren’t in the Tag Team Title match at the pay per view because it would have been really stupid to have them lose like this. Don’t worry though because I’m sure WCW will find far more stupid things to do in the coming weeks.

Here are Shane Douglas, carrying a bag, and Torrie, with the latter wearing a dress tighter than should be physically possible. Shane pulls out the Stuff Magazine with Torrie inside and asks about her turn-ons listed in the magazine. Apparently she likes seeing her man work out so Shane pulls out a dumb bell and starts lifting, causing Torrie to rub his chest. This brings out Kidman to dropkick Shane but a Torrie distraction lets Shane hit him in the neck with the dumb bell, likely breaking his neck in the process.

We get the Road Report but the guy doesn’t have his phone. Perfect Event comes up to suggest that he use 1-800-CALL-ATT. Problem solved until it’s another KANYON CUTTER for the best fake commercial I’ve seen in a very long time.

The Artist, who can talk now, issues an open challenge to any champion. I think you know what’s coming.

Hardcore Title: The Artist vs. Big Vito

Vito is defending in case you’re a bit slow. They quickly go into a room with Paisley and Kwee Wee watching……I’m guessing a monitor or something. Artist hits him with an ironing board before doing the same to Kwee Wee for no apparent reason. Pink hater. Vito takes over again and brings him down to ringside, only to get hit with a chair a few times. Artist goes with a low blow because good guys are just less bad in WCW.

The Mafia kick and a suplex set up a top rope elbow from the champ and it’s already table time. Vito sets it up in the middle of the ring for the implant DDT…..and the table breaks as they’re standing on it. The fans boo it out of the building as Vito hits him with a trashcan, followed by the DDT to retain.

Rating: D-. So we’re using the lame Hardcore Title match to set up what’s going to be an even worse Kwee Wee vs. the Artist feud. I can kind of understand Russo’s obsession with Jeff Jarrett but I will never get WCW’s love of Artist. The guy just isn’t that good and it shows worse and worse every time he’s in the ring.

Awesome wants to bring one of his women to the ring but Bagwell doesn’t think that’s the best idea.

Positively Kanyon/Lance Storm vs. Buff Bagwell/Mike Awesome

Kanyon during his entrance: “BUY MY BOOK!” We get the Canadian national anthem again until Awesome runs down to clean house. A clothesline puts Lance on the floor and Awesome nails a nice dive to take him down again. Back in and Bagwell beats Kanyon up as Tony recaps Judy Bagwell’s recent problems. It’s off to Awesome vs. Kanyon with Mike coming in via the slingshot shoulder. A nice suplex plants Kanyon again and it’s back to Storm, who walks into an Awesome Bomb.

The Awesome Splash gets two on Kanyon with Storm making the save and everything breaks down. Storm gets the Maple Leaf on Awesome but Buff breaks it up with the Blockbuster. Kanyon makes a quick save though and pulls the ref in the way of a baseball slide. He hits Bagwell with the book (which I’m assuming he reloaded with a fresh brick) and does the same to Awesome, setting up a Kanyon Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but we had to speed through things because we needed to see stuff like the Cat earlier in the night. Storm has somehow been a breath of fresh air for the company despite his character being one of the most boring guys in the history of wrestling. Maybe it’s just that he’s a fresh name or something but he’s working very well here.

Rick Steiner and Jarrett say nothing of note. Jarrett uses the acronym NOFYB.

Cat doesn’t know what that means but is sick of Steiner and Jarrett.

Harlem Heat is ready. Well that’s good for them but it’s time for the real star power.

We get a sitdown interview with Kevin Nash. He thinks the people behind the scenes of WCW are trying to keep Hall out. The only time WCW ever had a spark was when the two of them came down from New York to make the company go somewhere. Hall has been healthy for months now but he’s sitting around because WCW doesn’t want him around.

Nash has seventeen months left on his contract and he’ll honor that deal, but then who knows because it’s not about money anymore. As for Goldberg, WCW gave him too much power too soon. Nash has to keep him in check because he’s never paid his dues and won’t have nine years from now. It’s nice to see guys like Booker make it and he was glad that “they put the strap on him.”

Hudson asks about the three way at New Blood Rising (Nash: “It won’t be a dance.”) which is now a #1 contenders match. Apparently there’s a problem with who is going to come out on top. Nash says he’s coming out on top no matter how the match is booked and he’s not going to lobby for a finish. He’s going over (his words) because he says so and it’s time for him to get his.

These are the kinds of segments that I never know what to say. Nash talking about someone not wanting Hall around was fine because you can pin that on Russo and Bischoff (Is he even still around anymore? I don’t remember seeing him after Bash at the Beach.). Hinting at going to the WWF was even fine, but then you get to him talking about how a match is going to be booked or who is going to go over in a big match because of how the finish was lobbied. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish but I’m sure the internet will be talking about it tomorrow, right Russo?

Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner vs. Harlem Heat

This is the closest we’re going to get to Harlem Heat vs. the Steiners. Cat is out here to make sure things are fair. Booker and Rick start things off with the champ taking over. This brings out Midajah to try to come off the top but Cat calls her down and handcuffs himself to her. Well what did she thing was going to happen with the boss out there and her in bright pink pants?

It’s off to Stevie vs. Jarrett with Jeff getting kicked out to the floor. Back in and Steiner clotheslines Stevie for two and we hit the chinlock after all that grueling work. A belly to back puts Steiner down and the hot tag brings in Booker as house is cleaned. Jeff breaks up the missile dropkick and nails a superplex, only to have Booker tie their legs up for a small package and the pin.

Rating: D+. The Booker comeback was good but Rick Steiner is just killing anything he’s doing at this point. The guy isn’t any good and hasn’t been for a very long time yet for some reason they just won’t get rid of him. Jarrett was Jarrett and Stevie was more energetic than usual but there’s only so much you can do in a five minute main event.

Booker gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Dang they’re on a roll lately. These last few shows have taken out a lot of the nonsense and just let them have their dull wrestling shows. The point though is you can see the stories they’re telling and for the most part, they’re working fine. There’s still a lot of stuff they need to fix but at least there’s some good stuff going here and far less bad, which is the most important thing. Enjoy it while it lasts though because you know this is going to go bad soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #249
Date: July 18, 2000
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Commentators: Mark Madden, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

As is so often the case in WCW 2000, I can barely remember what happened last week. It took me a bit before I could remember that Jeff Jarrett won the #1 contenders match while Scott Steiner is on a rampage. I really shouldn’t forget the whole story in the span of just a week but almost nothing has a lasting impact around here. Let’s get to it.

This show is on a Tuesday because of a TV movie. It’s not even the NBA anymore.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner being all insane lately, including the attack on Tenay which we can’t see in full (though we can see a package of stills which show you everything you need to know). Apparently Steiner has been suspended again.

Cut to Scott Steiner in the parking lot, attacking Booker T.’s new car with a pipe until Rick Steiner talks him down.

Nitro Girls. I didn’t know they were still a thing.

Here’s the Cat to open things up and he brings the Nitro Girls with him. Cat gets right to the point by announcing a one night tournament for the US Title. He runs down the brackets but before we can get to the first match, there are some rules for the fans. They can’t get too loud and the fat people need to stay in their seats to make sure people behind them can see.

We see the Steiners ripping up everything in the back on the way to the ring, sending the Girls running off. Here are Rick and Scott (who walk past the Girls, whose hiding place was RIGHT NEXT TO THE ENTRANCE) with Scott choking Cat and demanding a title shot. Booker hits the ring so here are Rick and Stevie to follow, triggering a huge brawl. Security breaks it up and Cat makes Scott vs. Goldberg for tonight.

Buff and Judy Bagwell are here with Judy in a neck brace. Why did Buff bring her again? Can’t he make his sandwiches by himself already?

The announcers talk until Jeff Jarrett jumps the barricade and guitars Stevie. Jeff calls that a warning shot.

US Title Tournament First Round: Positively Kanyon vs. Mike Awesome

During the entrances, Madden dubs Awesome the Fat Chick Thriller. So much for Awesome ever meaning anything again. The Bagwells come out to do commentary as Awesome takes over to start with a top rope clothesline. A nice fireman’s carry flapjack puts Mike down but he punches Kanyon out to the floor for a big plancha over the top. Guys his size should not be able to do that. Like…..they just shouldn’t. It’s already table time but Kanyon drives him through it with a Kanyon Cutter off the apron.

Kanyon goes over to Buff though, allowing Judy to go after Kanyon instead. She gets thrown down again (more man on woman violence so you know Russo is back in charge), allowing Buff to grab a quick Blockbuster and letting his mom just deal with the attack on her own. That’s STILL not enough for the pin though so Awesome grabs a release German suplex and the Awesome Bomb for the pin to advance.

Rating: D. Under five minutes and we had guest commentators, a table spot (which wasn’t a DQ of course), Kanyon beating up Judy Bagwell again, interference, and a near fall off the interference. Oh and it’s in a tournament. This is back to WCW’s old stuff back in the spring because……yeah I’m tired of ripping on Russo for the same stuff. I’m sure you get it by this point.

Post match some large underwear are thrown into the ring for Awesome. This is sad. So sad.

Pamela Paulshock hits on Lance Storm but he is too focused on the tournament.

Buff sends Judy away with his brother, who doesn’t ask why she’s here in the first place.

US Title Tournament First Round: Buff Bagwell vs. Lance Storm

Before the match, Storm yells at the fans for not respecting his national anthem and not understanding that Canada is just better than the United States. Buff won’t stand for this Canadian national anthem nonsense and jumps Storm from behind to start. Storm comes back with an elbow but quickly gets backdropped down again. The Blockbuster is loaded up but we cut to the parking lot where Judy is being helped into her car. Lance uses the distraction to grab the Maple Leaf for the win. I won’t say submission as Bagwell didn’t tap and he didn’t look to say he gave up but whatever.

Buff limps to the back as we hear screaming, despite the video not airing on the video screen.

Cat has one of the Nitro Girls in his office when the Jung Dragons appear again. Stevie Ray comes in to help but Cat says they’re friends. As confused as that makes him (how can you tell with Stevie though?), Stevie just wants Jarrett tonight. Cat says ok, as long as Stevie lets him play with the Dragons.

We see security footage of Kanyon Cutting Judy Bagwell in the parking lot. Well grabbing her and dragging her off camera but you get the idea.

Scott Steiner is sitting by the door with a pipe in his hand.

US Title Tournament First Round: Great Muta vs. Vampiro

We actually see some clips from Muta’s run in the early 90s, which continues to make me wonder how WCW reached this point. They used to be awesome. Speaking of things that used to be awesome, this in no way applies to the Insane Clown Posse who return with Vampiro here. Muta kicks all three of them down to start but the numbers, including the Demon, are too much for him and it’s Vampiro taking over with some kicks.

A top rope flip dive misses though and it’s Muta coming back with the Power Drive elbow. Muta starts in on the arm and shrugs off a quick Rock Bottom. There’s the dragon screw leg whip but Muta has to deal with Demon. The distraction doesn’t work though and the moonsault puts Vampiro away.

Rating: C-. It’s hard not to like Muta at least a little bit as the guy is just good at any age. Vampiro was better here as he kept things moving instead of doing all his stupid over the top nonsense that doesn’t go anywhere because Undertaker and Kane haven’t done enough lately for Russo to copy. This was another match too short to mean much but that’s what you have to expect when there are seven tournament matches plus other stuff to get through in two hours.

Post match Vampiro and the Clowns beat up the Demon. So they’re split again?

Scott beats up Norman Smiley and Ralphus. Steiner: “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!”

US Title Tournament First Round: Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman

Before the match, Shane says he and Torrie (in lingerie here) have been getting to know each other lately and he’s exhausted. Shane asks if it’s worse to have a woman like Torrie and lose her to a franchise or never have one at all. Torrie feels sorry for Kidman because she had to fake it every night and then she played him for everything he had. Wait what did he have? She played him for some undershirts?

Shane takes over to start with a gordbuster and reverse Hennig neck snap. Kidman comes right back and baseball slides him into the barricade but stops to go after Torrie. Back in and Torrie trips Kidman to set up the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Kidman sends Shane into Torrie for the same, followed by Torrie hitting Kidman in the head with a chair for two more (and with Kidman’s leg being halfway under the rope).

Shane tries a gorilla press and Kidman was supposed to turn it into a bulldog but Kidman mostly missed his head. To be fair though, Shane’s head only got about a foot away from the mat anyway so both are at fault. Back up and a quick Franchiser gets……the pin after the referee wasn’t sure if it was three or not.

Rating: D+. Again, way too much stuff going on here but at least some of the near falls were good and Torrie looked amazing. Kidman continues to be one of the best gems on the roster who unfortunately isn’t going anywhere because WCW has no idea what to do with anyone right now.

Here are the updated brackets:

Mike Awesome

Great Muta

Lance Storm

Shane Douglas

Torrie and Shane make out in the ring but we cut to 3 Count carrying a ladder, followed by cutting to Goldberg arriving. This happened in the span of ten seconds.

Steiner is still waiting for Goldberg.

Here’s Tank Abbott to say N’Sync is playing to no one down the road in the Silverdome because the real deal is here. 3 Count brings out their ladder and there’s a gold record hanging above the ring. Tony: “At New Blood Rising, 3 Count is signed to face the Jung Dragons in a ladder match.” 3 Count dances but the Dragons climb the ladder and a match is on.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Yeah remember the ladder match announced for the pay per view? Well here it is almost a month before the show. 3 Count puts the ladder on the top rope but Yang dropkicks it out from under Shannon for a big crash. Shannon gets superplexed off the ladder, setting up a top rope splash from Jamie.

Shane comes in with a top rope Fameasser for Jamie and now it’s Evan with the ladder around his head for the helicopter spot. Tank wants the match to be over so it’s time to dance. He can’t wait any longer and goes to get his square. Evan goes up but the ladder gets shoved over, landing him right next to Tank for a bad looking crash. In the melee, Jamie goes up and gets the gold record for the win.

Rating: C-. Unless TNA broke it later, that’s the shortest ladder match in history, clocking in at 3:18. What am I supposed to say about a ladder match that doesn’t even break 200 seconds? There were some good looking high spots (nothing approaching what the WWF had been doing in the past 11 months of course) but what can you do in less than three and a half minutes? Oh well, maybe the rematch in a month will be better.

Goldberg comes into the building and Steiner misses a pipe swing. The fight is on until security and wrestlers break it up.

Back from a break and Scott is ticked off with Rick trying to calm him down.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Great Muta

Awesome runs him over to start and pounds away in the corner until he misses a charge. Muta dropkicks Awesome out to the floor as Madden says these two are very similar. A trip to the announcers’ table goes nowhere but Muta sprays the mist in Awesome’s eyes. Back inside and Mike gets kicked into the corner again, followed by a top rope hurricanrana. A quick clothesline and the Awesome Bomb send Mike to the finals in a finish as quick and sudden as it sounded.

Rating: C-. Another not great match here due to the amount of time it had. Muta vs. Awesome could be good if they were allowed to do something but instead they had to fly through it and put WAY too much attention on Madden being freaked out over the brawling at the announcers’ table.

Madden wobbles off to change his shirt.

Bagwell goes after Smooth for helping with the attack on his mom but Kanyon jumps him from behind.

Madden tries to get Kiwi to clean his shirt but Kiwi is too busy. Paisley comes in and tries to get her skirt repaired but again Kiwi is too busy.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Shane Douglas vs. Lance Storm

This would be the heel vs. heel match after the face vs. face match in the other semi-final. Storm backdrops him to the floor to start so Torrie jumps on Lance’s back to give Shane an opening. An atomic drop into a low blow has Storm in trouble and a neck snap gets two. Madden is back on commentary as Shane gets two more off two suplex into a falcon’s arrow.

Kidman is watching on the stage as Storm kicks at the leg to make his comeback. Lance gets two off a superkick but walks into a belly to belly. The knee gives out though and Shane’s delayed cover only gets another two. Storm pokes him in the eye (that’s rather out of character) and grabs the Maple Leaf (and a rope) for the submission.

Rating: C. What is with Shane having back to back good (in WCW terms) matches here? Storm going forward is the right call and it’s cool to see him cheat like that so he can brag about being such a great pure wrestler. Shane and Kidman are likely going to have a bad match at the pay per view but if it means I have to look at Torrie more and more, so be it.

Post match Kidman comes down with a chair and tries to spank Torrie but has to dropkick the chair into Storm’s face instead.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie is halfway down the aisle by the time his music starts. A powerslam puts Jeff down and Stevie hammers away in the corner. He’s still wearing the NWO colors, likely because he’s barely had a singles match since his version of the team split up. They head to the floor for a bit with Jeff taking over and punching him down back inside. Stevie comes back but here’s Rick Steiner for a distraction, allowing Midajah to come in and dive on Stevie, allowing a quick Stroke to give Jeff the pin.

Booker comes out to save his brother. Now in a smart world, we would get Steiners vs. Harlem Heat one more time out of this.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome breaks up the national anthem by calling O Canada a censored name. They start in the aisle with Awesome whipping Storm into the barricade about five times in a row. There’s a chair to Storm’s back and Awesome smiles at the overweight women in the front row. They get in and Storm hits a chair shot of his own to take over. Storm chops away in the corner but Awesome no sells, only to have Storm poke him in the eye (that’s straight out of Sting vs. Flair).

Storm’s hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two but the Awesome Splash hits knees. Mike grabs the rope (I think) to block a tornado DDT and loads up a super Awesome Bomb. Since that might kill Storm, he counters into a superplex for two. The regular Awesome Bomb is countered into the Maple Leaf to give Storm the title completely clean.

Rating: C+. Best match of the show by far and also the longest, though I’m sure there’s absolutely no connection there whatsoever. Storm winning clean is interesting as it lets him look like the better man instead of having him cheat to win. Then again, that could be due to Russo not knowing how to write characters.

Mike’s women come in to help him up, making sure the focus is completely off Storm and the title for the sake of unfunny comedy.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

Cat is guest referee and Booker comes out to do commentary. Steiner knees him into the corner to start and drops Goldberg with a single clothesline to a big reaction. Back up and Goldberg suplexes him into the corner but has to put the brakes on when Steiner avoids the spear. Instead a flying shoulder drops Steiner, followed by the gorilla press into the powerslam for no cover. An overhead belly to belly sets up the Recliner but Steiner punches Cat instead of sticking with the hold. We’ll say that’s enough for a no contest, leaving this too short to rate but fun while it lasted.

This draws in Booker to go after Steiner but Goldberg spears Scott down. Booker kicks Goldberg in the face and here’s Kevin Nash in his big return. There’s a Jackknife to Goldberg and another one for Steiner. Booker stares Nash down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is proof that a few tweaks to Russo’s formula could have made something happen. In this case, it was cutting down on the amount of stories and ideas that he had going on every show and only focusing on a handful of things. With the tournament and the impending Goldberg vs. Steiner showdown, I could focus on a few ideas and they actually sunk in for a change instead of flying from one story to the next with nothing making an impact. The show still isn’t good, but this was the kind of thing that could work with some more fine tuning.

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Thunder
Date: July 12, 2000
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It still feels weird to say that Booker T. is the World Champion but it’s a nice feeling to have. For once things feel fresh and with the addition of the newcomers in the tag division, there’s an actual youth movement going on around here. Now unfortunately there’s no reason to think this is going to last but at least we can enjoy it while it’s around. Let’s get to it.

On a side note, at some point around this time, Ed Ferrara took over Thunder’s booking. Therefore, Russo isn’t to blame in case this is awful, though Ferrara was Russo’s right hand man.

Opening sequence.

We open with the usual clips from Nitro.

Smooth gives Kanyon advice about something we aren’t privy to.

Apparently Scott Steiner beat up and injured Mike Tenay so it’s a two man booth tonight.

Here are Tank Abbott and 3 Count to say they’re going to dance and the Dragons aren’t going to do anything. That’s an official warning and you know what’s coming. Tank heads outside to dance and here are the Dragons for a surprise attack. Muta jumps Tank and we’ve got a match.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Jung Dragons/Great Muta

Yang tries to pound on Tank but gets thrown across the ring. A wheelbarrow slam into a double facebuster has Yang in even more trouble but Muta makes a save and cleans house. Tank uses the circle to block the mist and the big right hand knocks Yang silly to give Evan the fast pin. So they bring Muta in for a two minute match where his team loses?

Kanyon gives Cat a copy of his book in an attempt to get Jarrett tonight. That’s fine with Cat as Jarrett’s original opponent, Buff Bagwell, is late. Cat gives him the match in exchange for an autograph.

The Perfect Event attacks the Misfits in the back. For reasons unclear, they hand Major Gunns their exercise bar and she hits Palumbo low. Stasiak laughs, so Gunns kicks him low for good measure. So they’re bad wrestlers and stupid?

Stevie Ray is joining commentary. This could be good.

The Demon vs. Major Stash

Stevie thinks Vampiro and Demon are bizarre and doesn’t get why they’re together. In other words, Stevie either doesn’t watch or doesn’t understand the stories either. Stash starts with a big boot but charges into a boot in the corner. You would think he would have learned something like that. Demon gets thrown off the middle rope but comes back with a wristlock. Yeah a wristlock from a guy named DEMON. Stash avoids a clothesline and hits a quick ax handle, only to walk into the Love Gun for another quick pin.

Post match Sting (right) appears and points the bat at Vampiro and Demon.

Kidman asks Lance Storm about being serious. Storm says he’s always serious and walks off. After Kidman leaves, Kanyon takes out a cameraman with a Kanyon Cutter.

David Flair tells Hancock that he’ll do anything for her. Hancock knows that already.

Kidman/Lance Storm vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

The Canadian national anthem plays so Kidman reads the paper and dances behind him. Lance finally catches on but doesn’t seem to mind as he and Kidman try stereo baseball slides to the floor. That goes as badly as Kidman’s dancing as Jindrak and O’Haire press them over the top and back inside. Kidman tags himself in for a Bodog to Jindrak so it’s off to Sean for some right hands. Everything breaks down and O’Haire superkicks Storm, leaving Jindrak to plant Kidman with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The Seanton Bomb gives Sean the pin, making me wonder why they got pinned by Morrus and Leroux a few weeks back.

Storm nails Kidman post match, I’m assuming to cement his heel turn.

Vampiro promises to rip off Sting’s ski mask. I’d like to see who is actually under there.

Vito talks about how awesome he is.

Hancock tells David to go win her some gold so he attacks Vito and it’s time for a title match.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. David Flair

Vito is defending of course and David is in a suit minus the jacket. He pounds Vito into the arena with whatever he can find as this is one sided so far. Vito remembers that he’s fighting David Flair and takes over with right hands, only to get suplexed into the ring for no cover. Cue Hancock (with blue trim instead of white this time) as Vito comes back again with a suplex and top rope elbow. He stops to kiss Hancock though (perk of being a champion), followed by the safety cone to the crotch. The impaler DDT through the table retains Vito’s title.

Rating: D. I’m assuming these are supposed to be serious matches, which continues to prove that the people running WCW don’t understand how wrestling works. They’re certainly not funny matches but there’s nothing setting them aside that makes them entertaining. That black hole of charisma Steve Blackman is Hardcore Champion in the WWF right now and he’s a dozen times more interesting than this. Vito isn’t bad or anything but there’s nowhere to go with this division.

Jarrett tells Cat that if he’s not fighting his scheduled opponent, he’s not wrestling. Cat says oh yes you are.

Perfect Event was posing in the ring earlier today (as in before the fans were here) when Kanyon attacked another production guy. It’s still funny, but is this going anywhere anytime soon?

Perfect Event vs. General Rection/Corporal Cajun

Palumbo and Rection get things going with the General scoring off some splashes in the corner. Cajun comes in and gets beaten down due to reasons of not being very good. Things slow down with Stasiak doing one of his only moves (a slam) before stopping to pose. Palumbo’s top rope shoulder drops Cajun for two again as Stevie is being the voice of reason against all of Perfect Event’s stalling. A gorilla press doesn’t work though and the hot tag brings in Rection to clean most of the house until the Jungle Kick slows him down again.

Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb and the fans are actually getting into this. It could be due to it being the longest match of the night, even though we’re not five minutes in yet. Cajun comes in for his dancing punches and a clothesline for two. Whiplash gets two more and everything breaks down. Rection hits his moonsault but Stasiak nails the referee with the exercise bar. He throws it off to Cajun though and the referee sees him holding it for the DQ. Yeah he said Rection had the match won but Cajun broke up the pin for no apparent reason. Egads this company is stupid at times.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t bad until the ridiculous ending. Rection and Cajun aren’t the best tag team in the world but then again this isn’t the best tag division in the world either. Palumbo is the most interesting out of all these people and he’s just ok at best. The ending hurts this even more though as it comes off again like someone doesn’t know how wrestling works.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. Booker talks about how great Jeff Jarrett is in the ring but he fails as a man. This title can be defended anywhere anytime and he’ll take on anyone that wants to come after it. As for Scott Steiner, save the drama for your mama. This brings out Rick Steiner to congratulate Booker but it’s a ruse (does it could if everyone knows it’s coming?) and Rick beats him down. Cue Stevie to get up from the table for the save but Rick beats him down, grabs the title and puts it on. Good night what a horrifying visual. Mike Awesome runs out and makes the save before handing the title back to Booker.

Daffney asks Crowbar if she looks fat in her gear. Crowbar says she’s pretty and clearly has a thing for her.

Shane Douglas assures Torrie that she won’t have to do anything in the mixed tag.

Cat tells Kidman that if he doesn’t interfere in the upcoming match, he can have Lance Storm later tonight.

Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Crowbar/Daffney

Before the match, Shane says Torrie isn’t a wrestler and has no business in this match. Torrie apologizes to everyone in the back but she LOVES being franchised. Crowbar quickly dropkicks Shane to the floor, leaving Daffney to go after Torrie. We get the catfight for all of ten seconds before it’s back to the guys. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Torrie who gets caught by Crowbar. Back to Daffney for some lame hair drags (read as Torrie rolls while Daffney touches her hair) and a jawbreaker to Shane.

Crowbar comes back in to beat on Shane even more, including a nice bite to the head. Shane avoids a moonsault and grabs a powerbomb, but just stops as he’s got Crowbar in the air. It looked closer to a jackknife but Shane stopped moving instead of letting him go. In other words, it looked awful. Shane loads up another and Crowbar lands on his feet (there’s your answer), only to walk into the Franchiser (landing on his feet instead of his knees) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Instead of a match, this was much more like a series of quick segments cobbled together. As usual, the women have little business being in a ring and it shows even worse each time. Daffney is a great character but not very good in the ring here and certainly not good enough to carry Torrie. Shane……I still don’t get it. Not at the actual wrestling at least.

Daffney takes a Franchiser (and takes it better) after the match.

Cat gives Awesome Rick Steiner tonight, even though Booker wanted the match.

Here’s a sitdown interview with Scott Steiner. He doesn’t want to talk about Bash at the Beach but Tenay keeps at it until Steiner says Nash isn’t his friend. What Scott did felt right at the time and he doesn’t care about Scott Hall’s family or the fans out there. Steiner goes on a rant about Booker getting the title and then about Tenay calling the Frankensteiner the hurricanrana. Scott doesn’t like Goldberg either and would have beaten him up if Goldberg was smart enough to get into the University of Michigan.

Tenay says Steiner has a lot of hatred bottled up and asks if it dates back to his childhood. That’s enough for Steiner and he chokes Tenay out. Tenay deserved that as he was flat out badgering Steiner here and trying to sound all tough. Then you bring up the guy’s childhood? You earned that beating.

The Dragons try to go after Cat again but this time he ducks and lets them hit each other. Kaz gets put in a fireman’s carry and spun around so he hits his partners. Funny but just like the Kanyon Cutters: is this going anywhere or is it another joke for Russo and Ferrara’s amusement?

Lance Storm vs. Kidman

Kidman jumps him in the aisle but gets caught in the corner with some dropkicks. Heenan: “You know a lot of people are talking about this Lance Storm.” Stevie: “I haven’t heard them.” Storm loads up a chair in the corner but gets small packaged for two instead. A hurricanrana staggers Storm but he backdrops Kidman out to the floor. Storm’s northern lights suplex gets two and a superplex gets the same. Kidman tries a rollup but gets kicked into the chair for his efforts. Like most of the schnooks in this company, Storm tries a powerbomb and eats a faceplant for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but really uninteresting as you had two guys doing moves to each other and then one guy won. Certainly not bad or anything but I never cared about what happened. Then again I’ll take not caring over wanting to jump off a bridge any day on this show.

On a side note, one of the people that could actually powerbomb Kidman was La Parka. I know he’s been gone for awhile, but that powerbomb got me thinking about the people who aren’t around at this point. You can really see the cost cutting coming into play as a lot of names who had been around for a long time have just disappeared.

Buff Bagwell and his mom Judy finally arrive. Buff leaves her in the car (dude come on) and here’s Kanyon to volunteer to show her around. You can see a look in his eye.

Back from a break and Judy is in a neck brace and being taken away in an ambulance. Oh I would have loved to see her take that move.

Rick Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome elbows him off the middle rope to start and there’s a BIG section of empty seats opposite the camera. As in like twenty of them. That’s just horrible. After a quick trip to the floor, Rick kicks him low (which the referee could clearly see) and shouts a lot. Steiner loads him onto his shoulder and rams him into the buckle, followed by a German suplex for two. Mike grabs an Alabama Slam for two and the camera reveals even more empty seats in the corner. A belly to belly superplex gets two for Rick and he yells at the referee a lot, allowing Mike to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Awesome was trying and Rick looked better than he had in a long time but he’s still a horrible excuse for a wrestler who can barely do anything without looking like he has no idea what he’s doing. I’m hoping Rick isn’t in for a full time return here as I was just getting over watching him help screw this company up last year.

Rick stays on him post match until Booker makes the save.

Positively Kanyon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Booker is on commentary and this is now the #1 contenders match all over again. Jeff gets an early two off a backslide and Kanyon gets the same off a small package. Kanyon is annoyed at the pace of the count (a very common complaint tonight) and has to settle for a top rope Fameasser. Jeff bails to the floor so Kanyon points at Booker, allowing Jarrett to get in a suplex on the outside. Both guys are whipped into a variety of metal objects with Kanyon getting the better of it.

The sitout Alabama slam gets two but the swinging book misses, allowing Jeff to DDT him onto the book (Heenan: “I’ve seen the book kill a lot of guys.”) for two. The referee won’t let Jeff use the guitar and a book shot gets two with Jeff going to the ropes for the break. Now it’s Jeff’s turn to go after Stevie and Booker, triggering a brawl. Bagwell comes out to attack Kanyon but security pulls him away, allowing the Stroke to put Kanyon away and send him to New Blood Rising (again).

Rating: C. As usual when you let talented guys have a match, it usually winds up being entertaining stuff. This was one of the better matches of the night (again due to having some time) and the ending made enough sense, but it’s still nothing that I’ve going to remember in a few minutes, which is another one of the major problems with this era.

Jeff and Booker yell at each other a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a weird one with a lot of the Russo tropes coming out but at a much slower pace. That leaves you with a very odd show that isn’t really interesting but feels more like a collection of bad matches. I’d put this above the Russo shows due to more coherence…..and that’s about the end of its positives. Neither guy knows what they’re doing and it gets more and more clear every time I watch one of their shows. I’ll take Ferrara over Russo for now, but Terry Taylor and Kevin Sullivan are sounding a lot better every single day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #248
Date: July 10, 2000
Location: Jacksonville Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,257
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

We’re done with Bash at the Beach and that means a lot has changed in WCW. First of all, Booker T. is World Champion after a surprise change in last night’s title match. This change came about due to what seemed to be an overly complicated work/shoot which also saw the return of Vince Russo. We’re back to that old Russo style after a few weeks of false hope that the company might be getting better. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Booker becoming the new champion and gives us a quick history of Booker’s career in WCW. This was a really good way to make Booker look like a star but there was no mention of Hogan whatsoever. It really is Halloween Havoc 1999 all over again.

Tony recaps things as well and only mentions Russo making an impromptu title match due to some circumstances.

Here’s Booker for his first appearance as champion but the announcers are busy talking about things that they legally can’t talk about. The fans chant for Booker and it’s one of the few genuinely emotional moments in years around here. Booker says this is him speaking from the heart but above all else, he wishes his mom was here to see him win the title. Well that’s already a better moment than almost anything we’ve had in a long time.

Booker thanks the fans for being behind him every night and he’s always tried to give everything he can every single week. He thanks all the fans in Dayton Beach last night (silence from the Jacksonville fans for that one) and to all the people in the back who doubt him, don’t hate the player, hate the game. Above all though, Booker wants to talk about Goldberg.

Booker says Goldberg has been out with an arm injury but has spent months complaining about everything. Goldberg is nothing but a mark for the business and himself (more terms the fans don’t get). Booker has one more thing to say and brings his wife (not Sharmell) into the ring to thank her for her patience when he was gone all those times. Before Booker leaves, here’s Stevie Ray to interrupt.

Stevie remembers growing up with Booker and everything he did for him over the years. Then one day Scott Casey (the wrestler that trained them) saying Booker had what it took to go to the top. Now his brother is on top of the world and Stevie is so proud. They hug but here’s Midajah to interrupt as well. She yells at Booker’s wife about Scott Steiner being the only real man here and here’s Scott with a ball bat to take out Booker and Stevie. Booker is already a more interesting champion than we’ve had this whole year.

Jeff Jarrett blames the Cat for the title loss because he wasn’t ready to defend, though I believe Russo booked the match. Jarrett wants his rematch tonight but Booker already has a match thanks to the Cat. Cue Scott Steiner again to lay out Jarrett and wreck the interview set.

Shane Douglas vs. Crowbar

Before the match, Shane brags about how gorgeous Torrie is. Well you can’t argue that one. Torrie says Bagwell was in the wrong place at the wrong time and calls Kidman Little Billy. Crowbar hits the ring and gets an early two off a sunset flip before sending Shane to the floor for a plancha. Torrie is nice enough to step between them, allowing Shane to take over.

Back in and Shane gets Two Amigos of all things until Crowbar spins out, only to have Torrie trip him up so Shane can get in another shot. Cue Daffney for some screaming and it’s time for a quick catfight. Crowbar throws him back in for a slingshot legdrop and a Lionsault for two. Shane pops right back up and grabs the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. Well you can’t complain about Torrie in a skin tight green dress and Daffney in jeans but the match was your usual Shane Douglas affair. He’s good at making you want to punch him in the face but the matches really aren’t the most interesting things you’re going to see. Crowbar continues to be totally fine in the ring but getting stuck either jobbing or having nothing better to do than mess around with David Flair.

Post match Buff Bagwell comes in and beats up Shane.

Kidman, in a Bash at the Beach shirt, says Torrie is a dime a dozen but he’s more interested in his career anyway. This brings in Jarrett to shove Kidman away, triggering a brawl.

Smooth shows up carrying a gold record. Tank Abbott, in the top half of a tuxedo and shorts, and 3 Count (in full tuxedos) are in his limo.

Cat gives Jarrett Kidman instead of a title match.

Here are 3 Count and Tank with the gold record and a ladder for some reason. Tank tells them to hang the record and who are they to argue with him. This brings in the Jung Dragons to shove the ladder over and beat up 3 Count, only to have Tank clean house. Cue the Great Muta of all people to spray mist at Tank, allowing the Dragons to make off with the gold record.

Kanyon thinks he should be #1 contender after beating Booker last night. Since Cat won’t do it though, he’s getting BANGED.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Kidman

Jeff tries to get in some shots to start but Kidman snaps off a headscissors. That earns him a hiptoss out to the floor and Jeff sends him into the steps for good measure. Back in and Kidman’s high cross body is rolled through for two but Kidman clotheslines him back to the floor. I’m not sure how to handle this back and forth wrestling so here’s Torrie for a distraction.

Torrie’s slap is blocked but Shane comes out, allowing Torrie to kick Kidman low. That’s only good for two so Jarrett tries a powerbomb (as is his custom), setting up the facebuster because that’s still a thing for Kidman. A Bodog is countered though and the Stroke gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: C. As usual, Kidman could have been a lot more than just a guy in the midcard but instead they just have him job to every major name they can find and put him in a feud with Shane Douglas. The Torrie stuff would be fine but sweet goodness Shane really isn’t doing it for me and is dragging Kidman down with him.

Scott Steiner beats up Kanyon.

Cat gives Mike Awesome the US Title but he wants to earn it instead. He turns around and hits on an overweight woman. Well we had to get here eventually.

WCW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending and slaps Mike in the face to start. Awesome’s right hands have Booker in trouble so it’s a spinwheel kick to put Mike out on the floor. Back in and some more right hands have Awesome in trouble in the corner but he runs Booker over with a clothesline. Since this is a Russo company, Awesome is allowed to use a chair to take over again. An Alabama Slam sets up the Awesome Splash for two. That’s enough wrestling for Mike so he sets up a table, only to be knocked through it instead. Back in and the ax kick and missile dropkick get two for Booker before the Book End retains the title.

Rating: B-. That might be high due to the level of awful I’m used to but I liked this match more than I was expecting to. Booker gets to look good over an athletic opponent and Awesome loses (again) to someone he shouldn’t be beating anyway. This was a good debut as champion for Booker, made much better due to the lack of interference. I could have done without the chair and table, but you have to expect that anymore in WCW. It’s really just part of the standard package these days.

Post match Steiner runs in to attack Booker but Awesome makes the save.

Here’s the Cat to yell about Steiner going on a rampage tonight and calls him out face to face. Steiner wants a title shot and swears a lot until Cat hits him. Scott fights back until Booker comes in for the save. This brings in Kanyon to attack Booker, which really doesn’t make a lot of sense. Jarrett comes in and goes after both of them until Booker fights them off. Cat makes a three way for the #1 contendership later tonight. We’re not done though as Goldberg comes out and wants to make it a fourway, which is quickly approved.

And now, a package on Ralphus/Norman Smiley vs. Big Vito. This really deserved time?

Norman has Ralphus in training, which has potential to be funny but I’d rather see Norman in a regular match.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus

Son of a Russo. Vito, defending here, goes after Norman to start as Ralphus stays in the ring. The other two fight into the back with Norman getting the better of it and blasting the champ with a fire extinguisher. They get back into the arena with Ralphus hiding behind a table in the ring. Vito pounds away and puts a traffic cone between Ralphus’ legs for a crutch shot. A top rope splash puts Ralphus through the table but Norman hits Vito in the back…..knocking him onto Ralphus for the pin to retain while Smiley dances.

Rating: F. So now he’s not just losing, but he’s losing because he can’t pay attention to something as simple as where his fat partner in a red shirt is laying. This division is dead but I’ve ranted enough about it already. Vito isn’t going anywhere but at least he’s not in his 50s or 60s.

The Cat beats up the Jung Dragons again because this is still a thing.

Paisley needs to get Artist’s shirt ready and asks a guy in the back if he can clean it. The guy, named Kiwi, is in neon pink and covers every stereotype of a gay model you can imagine. Paisley instantly swoons.

Lenny Lane is in the crowd with a sign that says USE ME.

Lance Storm vs. The Artist

Before the match, the fans chant USA at Storm. Lance responds by saying he’s not here for sports entertainment because he’s a wrestler from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. As you might expect, this is his heel turn promo. We get O Canada (full version) as the announcers bicker over whether we should give Storm silence. Paisley joins commentary as Storm hammers away to start.

A dropkick gets two for Lance as Paisley talks about Kiwi being a potential “purple passion fruit” in the future and calls Storm a Power Ranger reject. Artist gets two off a superkick but the middle rope DDT is countered with a northern lights suplex. Storm’s sitout powerbomb gets two and a springboard missile dropkick gets the same. Artist’s Angle Slam gets two more but the half crab makes him tap.

Rating: C+. Well there’s your surprise of the night. This was actually really entertaining with Paisley making me chuckle on commentary. Storm was on a roll at this point and I’m not sure why they turned him heel here when his style is far better suited as a good guy. Then again he’s foreign and I’m sure that screams bad in Russo’s thinking.

Vampiro is here and my eyes roll.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Corporal Cajun/General Rection

Kronik is defending and Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio are on commentary. Adams and Rection start things off with Brian hitting a quick full nelson slam (don’t bother trying to fight out of the hold or anything). Off to Cajun who is launched off a cover so it’s back to Rection. Cue Jindrak and O’Haire to brawl with Juvy and Rey as Rection misses a top rope elbow. It’s off to Clark to clean house as everything breaks down.

A spinwheel kick to Clark sets up No Laughing Matter but Adams makes the save. Things settle down again until High Time plants Cajun with Rection having to make a save. Kronik completely botches the powerbomb/top rope clothesline to Cajun (Adams fell backwards and Clark came off the top too fast, leaving him to collide with Cajun in the air) but it’s enough to retain anyway.

Rating: D+. So Kronik is big, strong, and 58% more likely to cause severe head trauma to people from the Louisiana Bayou. I like the fact that we had the #1 contender match last week and they actually gave us the match here, but the Misfits really weren’t the best option. The division is getting more traffic, though that doesn’t mean the quality is going up at the same time.

Post match Perfect Event runs in to lay out Kronik.

Here’s Vampiro with a coffin and something to say. He’s been through everything and will survive in the darkness where everyone here fails. The Demon pops out of the coffin and gets in Vampiro’s face. Vampiro goes on about Asya not understanding the difference between good and evil so he wants Demon to beat her down. The lights get even weaker and Sting’s music comes on. Cue a guy we can’t see with a ski mask on, nearly guaranteeing that it’s not really Sting.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Positively Kanyon vs. Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

Winner gets the title shot vs. Booker at New Blood Rising. One fall to a finish here and Kanyon starts with Steiner. Scott drops to the floor to yell at some fans before kneeing Kanyon in the face. The bicep elbow gets no cover so Steiner hits him with a chair. Goldberg breaks up the Recliner, allowing Kanyon to get two off a sitout Alabama Slam.

Jeff tags Kanyon but Scott suplexes Kanyon down anyway. There’s a Kanyon Cutter to Jarrett but Goldberg tagged himself in and speared Kanyon in half (to one of the pops of the night). Steiner makes a save to set up the staredown with Goldberg, only to have Jeff cover Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it started the build to Goldberg vs. Steiner. Kanyon was just there as a fall guy to set up Jarrett’s rematch which is a rare good idea from this company. Jarrett is a good option to give Booker another title defense on the big stage, though the promos are going to be a chore to sit through.

Overall Rating: C. Again, the less Russo on a show, the better they’re doing. There was no mention of Hogan’s name tonight and the whole thing last night seems to be a big waste. The ratings were indeed up by .3 over last week, good for about half of the increase Raw had. The wrestling was much better this week as some of the matches got more time but it still wasn’t anything I’m going to remember in about ten minutes, which is yet another major problem for this company right now.

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Thunder
Date: July 5, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 3,088
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

It’s the go home show for Bash at the Beach, meaning my moderate smile about WCW is about to go away. We’re still in the “Can Jeff Jarrett build a whole main event by himself, even though it’s a boring match in the first place?” phase which amazingly enough isn’t working because Jeff Jarrett is one of the least interesting World Champions WCW has had in the last three months. Of the five guys to hold the title since early April, he’s like the fourth most interesting at best. Let’s get to it.

Standard Nitro recap to open things up. Enjoy this while it lasts.

Jarrett yells at the Cat about ratings and they keep insulting each other. Cat’s decision is to put Jarrett on the show tonight. Why in the world is Jeff Jarrett vs. the Cat the main feud on this show?

Here’s Jarrett to say THE EXACT SAME THINGS HE ALWAYS SAYS before talking about how he was told there was no time for him on the show this week. Tonight he’s going to retire Hulk Hogan but here’s Cat to interrupt. Cat is tired of hearing Jarrett go on and on (the Cat speaks for the people) so tonight he’s putting him in the ring. Then he’s going to put on a karate demonstration. Back to Jarrett, Cat is going to make Booker T./Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon/Shane Douglas with the person getting the fall earning a title shot tonight. I’ve heard worse ideas, even though this isn’t very good.

Stasiak and Palumbo got into tanning beds earlier today and Woody turned them all the way up. What is up with this Woody guy? Is there no one else on the roster that could have used this to get somewhere? Maybe set up a challenger for the Tag Team Titles? No instead let’s go with a production guy who isn’t going to have a match. The bits are entertaining but this isn’t getting anyone anywhere.

Jarrett still wants Hogan. As he rants, Kanyon lays out a production guy with a Kanyon Cutter.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kidman vs. Lance Storm vs. Disco Inferno

One fall to a finish. Since this is WCW, the Animals’ name plate says Tygress is accompanying them but they come out alone. Storm gets jumped during his entrance as we’re waiting on Kidman to show up. Kidman finally hits the ring for the save and starts with Storm for a nice pinfall reversal sequence which is probably going to be the best thing on the show.

Mysterio elbows Kidman from behind though and Disco comes in to bring the quality down. Storm blocks a Bronco Buster with a raised boot, only to have Disco come in and try to steal a pin. Rey is fine with beating up his normal partner but Storm comes back in to break that up. A springboard legdrop gets two on Lance and everything breaks down. Disco piledrives Kidman for two but Storm grabs the half crab to make Disco tap.

Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting with all four guys (yes even Disco) moving around as much as they could in the four minutes they had. They’re probably lucky to get that given how much time this show needs to dedicate to everything else they have going on.

Buff promises he’ll go into Sunday as champion. The idea of Bagwell vs. Hogan as the main event of a pay per view makes me smile.

Buff is working on his own book called Positively Kanyon’s Greatest Moments. Chapter One: Kanyon Sucks. Chapter Two: Kanyon Still Sucks. Chapter Three: Kanyon Sucks Again. This was funnier than it should have been.

Perfect Event is let out of their tanning beds and look like they fell in buckets of red paint. Palumbo wants his mommy as Stasiak is told Woody did this.

Here’s the Cat for his karate demonstration with opponents…..the Jung Dragons. They’re Asian and therefore know martial arts you see. The Dragons jump Cat to start and take him down with a variety of kicks, setting up Jamie’s middle rope legdrop. Well that lasted longer than I was expecting. Cat bails and says this isn’t respectful enough. The Dragons are dumb enough to bow and all three get kicked in the face. Jamie’s missile dropkick slows Cat down for a bit but he kicks them all again and throws Kaz over the top by the crotch. All three Dragons are sent to the floor and Cat says that’s enough, meaning DANCE TIME!

Perfect Event goes after Woody in the production truck. Woody promises that he’ll have an army. Gee I wonder who that’s going to be.

Cat pays the Dragons and says he hasn’t had that much fun in a long time. Ok then.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. The Demon

Demon is challenging. Vito attacks the coffin in the back but gets jumped by Demon. Hardcore master Vito comes back by throwing Demon into a wall and bringing him out to the set for a ram into…..whatever those metal things on the set are. Vito puts a trashcan lid between Demon’s legs and stomps down on it before getting a piece of plywood. Was the table making union on strike this week?

As you might expect, Vito is thrown through the wood instead, followed by a middle rope elbow for two. This brings out Vampiro because this story is still going for some reason. Demon dropkicks a chair into Vito’s face (close enough) but Vampiro breaks a shovel over Demon’s back to give Vito the easy pin.

Rating: D. Vito’s hardcore stuff isn’t entertaining, anything Vampiro does is stupid at this point and no one ever cared about the Demon. This is the kind of stuff that could have been cut out to give the four way more time (maybe make it an elimination match) but WCW has a bad tendency to try and fit everything they can into one show. That’s rarely a good idea because most of the stuff doesn’t have the time to develop and we get stupid ideas like this.

Mike Awesome shows doctored footage that makes it look like he beat Rick Steiner on Monday. Gene calls him a mullock (trash) but Awesome hears him, scaring Gene half to death.

Shane and Kanyon argue over who is going to win tonight. Kanyon tries a Kanyon Cutter but Shane stares him down.

Here’s the Perfect Event with Stasiak slapping his partner on the back to make Palumbo cringe. They DEMAND Woody come out here right now so here he is, removing his shirt to reveal that he is in fact not a wrestler. As you might expect, Woody has some backup.

Brian Adams/Woody vs. Perfect Event

Non-title. Adams fights out of a double team to start thanks to Woody slapping Palumbo on the back. A powerbomb sends Stasiak onto Palumbo and Adams kicks Shawn in the face for good measure. Woody offers a double back slap to break up another double team, allowing Adams to full nelson slam Palumbo. A chokeslam (called High Times thanks to Woody) lets Woody pin Stasiak. Yeah a production guy just pinned a Tag Team Champion and I’m supposed to want to see Kronik fight them on Sunday.

Vito beats up Funk and leaves the arena.

Buff Bagwell/Booker T. vs. Shane Douglas/Kanyon

Whoever gets the fall gets a title shot tonight. Kanyon shoves Booker from behind and gets double teamed for his efforts. This brings up the question of whether Douglas should help his partner or not, which actually merits some discussion. Granted it’s not a discussion you’re going to get here but it could be interesting. A double suplex drops Kanyon and Booker officially starts with him. The assorted kicks keep Kanyon in trouble but Shane won’t tag in. That ends the interesting psychology discussion and goes right to stupid as you can’t get the fall if you’re not legal.

Buff comes in for a DDT but a Shane distraction (how hard can it be to distract Bagwell?) lets Kanyon get in a Russian legsweep. Shane still won’t tag in so Kanyon gets two off a neckbreaker. Buff elbows him out of the corner and drops a Vader Bomb (263 according to Tony. Huh?) followed by the Blockbuster but Shane makes the save. Booker comes in without a tag and Book Ends Kanyon for the pin and the title shot. Ignore Booker’s music playing at two.

Rating: D. Shane being stupid aside, it’s cool to see them actually push someone new. Of course Horace got a title shot last week so this could mean absolutely nothing. The problem is this is the kind of thing that they needed to do two years ago because now it means nothing. The match was nothing to see because again, it didn’t have enough time after Woody’s match.

MIA is given their orders for the night.

Daffney, now with red hair, is wearing a shirt that says step child.

Mike Awesome sprays something on Rick Steiner’s glasses.

Tygress/Juventud Guerrera vs. Major Gunns/Lieutenant Loco

The guys start with Juvy grabbing a headscissors but having to stop to pull his pants up. Heenan: “Juvy looks like he’s wearing the seat cover from a ’69 Pinto.” Loco’s tilt-a-whirl backbreakers send Juvy crawling over to Tygress so it’s time for the girls. Tygress tags out as well so Gunns takes off the shirt as a distraction to kick Juvy low. The catfight is on and Gunns does one of the worst slams I’ve ever seen. Loco lays out Juvy but another catfight breaks out. In the melee, Juvy hits Loco with the belt for the pin.

Rating: F+. These women are bad. Like, they’re Eva Marie kinds of bad. It’s ridiculous to call them wrestlers because this has nothing to do with wrestling. We have two women out there because of how they look, trying to do moves to each other and failing miserably. Chavo vs. Juvy will be fine but this was another big waste of time with the women in there.

Juventud leaves with the title.

Steiner puts the glasses on and is almost blinded.

Booker says he’ll win the title.

Video on Vampiro and the Demon.

Mike Tenay is at Jim Duggan’s home for a sitdown interview. Duggan and his wife are glad that he’s ok but he’ll be back no matter what Russo does. Somehow this takes three minutes.

Crowbar jumps David Flair as Miss Hancock watches.

Jarrett insults Gene for general purposes.

Rick Steiner gets medical treatment.

We recap Crowbar/David/Hancock/Daffney.

Crowbar vs. David Flair

Impromptu match. Crowbar throws David down the aisle but gets crotched on top. A superplex drops Crowbar and it’s already time for the Figure Four. Hancock comes out to help but gets caught to force the break. Crowbar yells at the referee and gets shoved into a rollup for two as Hancock comes in, allowing the low blow from David. Cue Daffney for a tug of war so Hancock can roll backwards with her skirt coming up. Daffney goes for Hancock’s hair and they run off, leaving Crowbar to hit David with the pipe. The Mind Bender (sitout gordbuster) puts David away.

Crowbar chokes David and threatens violence until David admits that he shaved Daffney’s hair. Again: IT WAS ALL ON TAPE! David also admits to cheating on Daffney, sending her leaving in tears. This is actually a good story no matter how goofy it’s been.

After a break, Hancock is getting checked out for a leg injury. David comes in and thinks something is up so the trainer gets his head shaved.

Rick Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

Rick’s eyes seem to be fine as Awesome pounds him down. Some belly to bellys get two for Steiner and they head outside for a table. Mike sets it up in the corner and is quickly shoved through it, only to have Awesome spray the stuff in Rick’s eyes again for an easy three count. The blinding stuff earlier in the night could have been completely omitted and nothing would have changed.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T.

Jarrett is defending. Heenan thinks winning the title might push Booker over the edge to being a big star. They trade shoulders to start until Booker clotheslines the champ to the floor. Jeff is sent into the announcers’ table but comes right back with an early sleeper back inside. A quick knee crusher and the Figure Four have Booker in trouble.

That’s way too early (and since it’s the Figure Four it’s not likely to win a big match) so Booker makes the rope and runs into a double clothesline. The ax kick sets up a spinebuster for two but here’s Kanyon with a Cutter on the floor to knock Booker silly. Jeff gets the pin but before he can even get in some good celebrating, Cat comes out to say not so fast. The champ is thrown back in and a rollup gives Booker two.

The missile dropkick gets the same with the foot going on the ropes (When Booker hooked the leg. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that.). A side kick hits the referee by mistake so there’s no one to count after the Book End. Cat is going to be referee and counts two off another kick. Jeff knocks Cat out with the guitar and walks out as another referee calls that a DQ to end the show.

Rating: C+. Good match marred by too much stuff going on at once. Cat vs. Jarrett is about as far down on the Austin vs. McMahon scale as you can get but you can see what’s going on and the promos are adequate so it’s still firmly above whatever Russo and Bischoff were doing. Booker felt right in this role for the simple reason of he’s spent years being built up. That’s something so many people don’t understand today: it’s really hard to throw someone with no resume into the main event and expect it to work. Booker has been built up for about seven years at this point and it feels right to see him moving forward.

Overall Rating: D+. They really are trying to make Hogan feel like he doesn’t matter here. It was so strange to not have Hogan, Nash or Goldberg around for an entire show as it was almost all about the young (well younger) guys for a change. That allowed for much better storytelling because you didn’t have so much focus on the old guys wanting to be champion but putting in the least amount of effort possible. It’s even more proof of what WCW could have been if they didn’t have so much chaos going on backstage to screw the whole thing up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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