On This Day: October 9, 2005 – No Mercy 2005: Bye Eddie

No Mercy 2005
Date: October 9, 2005
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final of this set of shows and we’re finally out of the Undertaker in gimmick title matches. Now he’s in gimmick non-title matches, in this case a handicap casket match against the Ortons. The main event is Batista defending against Eddie who is turning more heel by the day but he’s pretending to be a nice guy. It’s also his last PPV match ever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Eddie vs. Batista with Eddie swearing he’s a changed man. If Eddie crosses Batista, Batista will end him. Also we hear about the handicap casket match.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

This is Animal/Heidenreich which never worked at all. They’re the tag champions here. My goodness Christy was gorgeous. She took a Snapshot on Smackdown so she’s injured coming in. Animal has a taped up shoulder too. Heidenreich pulls Nitro in and the beating is on before he can even take the fur coat off. Heidenreich is all fired up and hits a three point clothesline for two. Off to the large gut with the Animal attached but Mercury gets in a kick to the shoulder to take over.

He keeps kicking at it and knocks Heidenreich to take draw him in. MNM hits the Snapshot on Animal very quickly but it only gets two because of the delay in getting to the cover. Mercury snaps the shoulder over the top rope to let Nitro get two. The double team continues and Animal is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Mercury goes up but jumps into an almost powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Melina tags herself in. She dives onto Animal and gets caught. Off to Christy for a bad Hart Attack and then a HORRIBLE rana. As in the legs were around Melina’s arms. Doomsday Device ends Melina.

Rating: D-. Christy Hemme is a fine example of a girl that looks good in tight pants and a black bra. She’s incredibly attractive and sexy, but but she had no business being in a wrestling ring as a competitor. It didn’t work for her at all and she was only in the ring for about 45 seconds. Again though, she’s there for her looks and those work very well.

Eddie comes in to see Batista and almost evily says good luck. Batista says it back in a friendlier voice.

Here’s Simon Dean the fitness expert with his assistant who has a plate of hamburgers. Taz and Cole are cracking up at this. Dean talks about how Houston is the fattest city in America. He has 20 double cheeseburgers here and says it’s ok to eat one, but when you eat 20 at once you get fat. He calls out Lashley and says if he loses, he’ll eat all 20 of those burgers.

Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean

Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.

Lashley forces the hamburger into Dean’s mouth.

Jillian still has the mole on her face but introduces JBL who says Raw won’t invade tonight. They can’t invade because they’re invited. JBL welcomes a challenge but watch what he does to Mysterio first. Rey pops up and speaks Spanish, talking about the Mexican flag. JBL tells the “intertube boy” that he needs to speak English in America. Rey hands him a Mysterio mask for after the underdog beats him. JBL declines so Rey gives it to Jillian.

US Title: Booker T vs. Christian vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending, Booker gets a big pop as the hometown guy and this is one fall to a finish. Benoit beat Jordan in like 25 seconds at Summerslam to win the title. Why he’s in this match is beyond me. Jordan goes after Benoit and takes him down so the heels (Christian/Jordan) can double team Booker. Booker knocks Christian to the floor and kicks Jordan down but Christian pulls him to the outside.

Benoit pops up out of nowhere with a Crossface on Jordan but Christian saves. With Booker on the floor, Benoit cleans house on the other two. Suplexes all around and Christian is put in a quickly broken up Sharpshooter. Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take Christian down as it’s his turn to be in control. Jordan and Christian are knocked to the floor so we get a staredown between Booker and Benoit.

They don’t really do much though as Christian comes in and is suplexed over the top with ease. Benoit goes to the floor to fight his fellow Canadian as Booker and Jordan clothesline each other down. Christian breaks up the Swan Dive by fighting Benoit on the top. Jordan is whipped into them and the Canadians hit the floor. Booker rolls up Jordan for a VERY close two. Benoit comes back in and walks into a side kick.

Cole reminds us that everyone is legal at the same time. Thanks Cole. The first seven minutes of this match didn’t tell me that. Axe kick gets two on Jordan. Christian throws Benoit into Booker to knock Booker to the floor but Christian can’t hit the Unprettier on Benoit. Benoit tries Rolling Germans but Orlando breaks it up.

Orlando is thrown out onto Booker, leaving the Canadians in the ring. After four Germans Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Christian tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Orlando seems to miss his cue on the save as he takes forever. Jordan is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter makes Christian tap.

Rating: C. This seems like a match that belonged on a house show. It wasn’t that bad but I don’t think anyone was really expecting a new champion here. Benoit was on a roll at this point and would hold the title for about six more months. It’s not a bad match but it was more of a Benoit showcase than a competitive match.

Sharmell yells at Booker post match.

Lashley is making Dean eat the burgers.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly

Hardcore shoved Kennedy during a match while Kennedy was on commentary so Kennedy cost him a match. This is Kennedy’s PPV debut. Kennedy does his usual intro before the match. Holly is introduced as The Alabama Slamma. Holly pounds him down to start and hits the dropkick. There are some hard chops in the corner but Kennedy suckers Holly in and sends him to the floor.

Out to the floor for a bit as the fans are just gone. Literally, as in you can see empty seats in the first few rows. Kennedy works on the arm to waste some time. A single arm DDT gets two. This is a horribly boring match. Holly comes back and hits a full nelson slam for two. Kennedy tries a spin kick but Holly won’t sell it. He kicks Kennedy down and they go to the corner. The rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin for Kennedy.

Rating: F. OH MAN this was bad. It went on almost ten minutes and was about three minutes of arm work. Holly wouldn’t sell anything and it made Kennedy look like an idiot. Kennedy never quite got it in the ring but he tried at least. There was always something misses for him though, and this wasn’t a good start at all.

Holly takes forever to get out of the ring so Sylvan, the fashion consultant of Smackdown who is more worthless than any wrestler you’ll EVER see, comes out to the ring and attacks the bad ribs.

Simon is still eating burgers.

Sharmell yells at Booker some more. Kennedy comes up and makes fun of them. This takes forever and Sharmell yells more after Kennedy leaves.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey fires off right hands to start and ducks a big boot. JBL actually goes technical and hooks a side headlock to take it to the mat. Rey takes over again and sends JBL out to the floor to frustrate him. A baseball slide puts Bradshaw down and the rich dude is mad. He uses the power to take over but Rey takes the knee out and a facejam gets two. Rey works over the knee and cannonballs down onto it.

The 619 misses and JBL heads to the floor. Rey bulldogs him to the floor but hurts himself in the process. Bradshaw sends his head into the steps to take over. My goodness JBL has a beer belly on him. Back in and JBL pounds him down before hitting a fallaway slam from the middle rope for no cover. A regular fallaway slam sends Rey to the floor where JBL hits a third one.

Back inside the slams get two. Time for a bearhug. This match has been pretty slow paced. There isn’t much of a story to it either so it doesn’t really draw the fans in that well. JBL puts him on the ropes but Rey comes back with a tornado DDT. Rey speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster but Jillian gets up for a distraction. JBL almost hits her but puts on the brakes, only to walk into a moonsault press for two. Rey knocks him into the ropes and hits the 619, but the West Coast Pop misses and the Clothesline ends this.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match for the most part but it was pretty boring. It was a nice surprise to see JBL win as Rey would have seemed to be the obvious winner here. This is more or less JBL’s win to keep some kind of importance on him for when he jobbed to everyone on the planet afterwards.

Someone gets fired on Raw tomorrow. It would be JR.

We recap the Ortons vs. Undertaker. Orton had turned heel to try to break the Streak but of course he lost. It became an obsession for him and he beat Undertaker at Summerslam. Taker came for revenge and caskets were brought in. There was an Undertaker mannequin in the casket which scared Taker, according to Randy. Tonight it’s a handicap casket match with Taker against the Ortons.

Undertaker vs. Bob Orton/Randy Orton

Both Ortons have to go in for Undertaker to win. Taker gets the full druid entrance as they bring out the casket. He then gets his own entrance to really fill in time. Taker controls with punches to start, knocking both Ortons around. Then the numbers take over so the Ortons control with punches. Now Taker comes back and knocks them both down. He manages to throw Bob in the casket but Randy throws Taker knees first into the steps.

Undertaker is put in the casket but gets out with, you guessed it, punches. Back in the ring and Bob is down in the corner. Old School is loaded up for Randy but Bob manages to crotch him. Both Ortons go up on the ropes and they manage a double superplex. Bob covers probably out of instinct. They keep trying to double suplex Taker into the casket but Taker counters into a double DDT.

Bob is thrown into the casket and Randy takes the snake eyes/big boot combo. Bob is out of the casket now and appears to have something in his hands. Oh it’s a fire extinguisher. Randy hits the backbreaker in the ring and we go outside. Randy jumps off the apron but gets rammed back first into the post. A big chair shot to the back puts Randy in and Bob gets caught in a triangle choke. Taker finally gets Bob in but Randy gets up and knocks Taker away.

All three are in the casket now as the younger guys stand up and brawl. Taker knocks Randy out and slams the lid on Bob. The announcers talk like that eliminates him but there’s been nothing that implies he would be until now. Randy low blows Undertaker and hits the powerslam. Randy opens the casket but takes a low blow as well. Taker pounds on him some more but Randy hits the dropkick and they go into the corner.

Randy, ever the idiot, puts himself in perfect position for the Last Ride. Tazz: “WHY DID HE DO THAT???” Last Ride kills Randy but Bob pops out of the casket with the fire extinguisher. A blast into the eyes by Bob allows Randy to hit the RKO. Bob tries to roll Taker into the casket but Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy pops up with the fire extinguisher to the head and Taker is knocked into the casket. He pulls Randy in with him and the lid closes, but for some reason that doesn’t end it. Not that it matters as Taker and Randy pop up seconds later and Randy hits him with a chair to win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a horrible match I don’t guess but it never got interesting at all. That’s what this PPV has been in a nutshell: not bad but nothing to get excited about at all. Cole declaring this the final nail in Undertaker’s coffin was laughable because that guy has died more times than I can count but he keeps coming back. Anyway, not bad but it lead to HIAC at I think Armageddon.

Post match the Ortons do the Royal Rumble 1998 thing where the hack open the casket and pour gas in then light it on fire. Taker would come back at Survivor Series and then have a Cell match at Armageddon to blow off the feud.

Wrestlemania is in Chicago.

Taz and Cole talk about how serious this is and how you can smell the gas and the smoke.

Now here are Mexicans on lawnmowers.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Nunzio

Nunzio is defending after Juvy won a battle royal. The attempted murderers are going to be talking on WWE.com if you’re interested. The Mexicools and Vito are on the floor. Juvy gets three covers inside of 20 seconds. Nunzio gets some rollups as well and it’s a standoff. The crowd is pretty quiet for this. A headscissors gets two for Juvy. Tazz, who was all shocked and serious a few minutes before, is making juice jokes.

Nunzio takes it to the mat with a surfboard hold as Tazz has to remind himself that there’s a match going on. Rollup gets two for Juvy. They both go up and both hit facejams to put both guys down. They speed things up again and a seated dropkick gets two for Guerrera. Inverted powerbomb gets two. Juvy tries a sunset flip but gets shoved off so he headscissors Vito instead. Top rope crossbody is rolled through into two for Nunzio but he hits the Juvy Driver a few seconds later for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for the guys in matches like these. No one is interested in seeing them and probably even fewer care who wins. This match is background noise while the fans catch their breath before we get to the main event. That being said, the match was nothing interesting at all as the Cruiserweight Title was long since dead at this point.

The Mexicools do an interview in Spanish.

Simon finishes the burgers but Lashley says that was only 19. Lashley pulls out one more huge one but Simon gets sick. Did we really wait the whole show for that payoff?

We recap the main event. Eddie says he wanted respect but no one bought it. This resulted in a tag match with Eddie/Batista vs. MNM where Eddie hit Batista with a chair but claimed it was an accident. Batista said if you screw me, I’ll end you.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Eddie takes him to the mat to start and Batista looks a bit surprised by the speed. He almost gets caught in a rollup but powers out of it. For some reason Eddie tries a test of strength and down he goes. He climbs the ropes while still in the grip but Big Dave throws him down with ease and Eddie bails for a bit.

Back in and Batista grabs a headlock. Eddie sends him into the corner and it’s right back to the headlock. Eddie tries to escape with a top wristlock but there’s too much Batista. The headlock goes on again but Eddie gets to the floor and grabs a chair. Batista grabs him by the throat and says Eddie wants to screw him with a chair. Eddie guillotines him on the top and hits a Frog Splash to the back for a close two. That was out of nowhere.

Eddie works on the back in the form of a body scissors but Batista powers out of it. Guerrero hits a dropkick to the back and hooks a half Boston Crab to put Big Dave in even more trouble. Batista makes the rope and Eddie goes to the corner and steals a tag rope. He drops it though and dropkicks Batista in the face instead. Nice guy. Off to a camel clutch as the back work continues.

Now it’s back to the body scissors but Batista stands up and hooks a bearhug which is quickly broken. Batista charges at him but Eddie dropkicks the knee out and tries a Texas Cloverleaf. Dave is like BY THE POWER OF MALENKO and counters with a small package before it’s on. Into the corner and Eddie jumps over Batista but stumbles and runs into the referee. Eddie gets a chair but throws it down instead of swinging it.

Batista sees the chair and gets all ticked off. He goes into Beast Mode and runs over Eddie with his power game. His back gives out on the Batista Bomb though so he has to settle for a spinebuster. That gets a delayed two and Eddie makes his comeback, doing his dance and hitting the Three Amigos. Batista avoids the Splash and a second spinebuster retains the title.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a bad match but it never got to the point where I was wanting to see what happened next. The whole point of the match was would Eddie go rudo or not and he didn’t do it, making the whole story of the match kind of dead because one on one, no one bought Eddie as a real threat to the title. It wasn’t a bad match at all but it’s certainly not something worth watching. The story is that Eddie would have won the title on the Smackdown two days after he died, so this was just the start of a bigger story.

Post match Eddie offers a handshake and Batista eventually accepts it. Batista turns away and Eddie gives him an evil smile which Batista doesn’t see.

Overall Rating: D+. The show is much like the main event: not bad for the most part, but I’d have felt pretty let down after this show. It’s a match that would have been perfect for the In Your House treatment back in the 90s, as this isn’t really an A-list main event. Coupling that with a lot of the filler matches like the six person and the Kennedy match, there’s not much of a need for this to be a three hour show. It passed two hours and forty five minutes but there’s no reason to watch this at all.

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John Cena Returning At Hell In A Cell?

According to WWE he will be at least.Tonight it was announced that Del Rio will defend against Cena at HIAC, but I’m skeptical about this. Two months out for a torn tricep is a VERY fast return, even by Cena’s standards. It’s possible of course, but I’d be surprised if this was true. To be fair though Cena tweeted that he’ll be at the show so maybe it’s happening. This comes off like a “our ratings suck so let’s get him back early” move.

Adolf Hitler On Battleground’s Main Event

Seriously.

Battleground 2013: Ode To The Attitude Era And That’s Not A Good Thing

Battleground 2013
Date: October 6, 2013
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’ve arrived at one of the least interesting shows in recent memory. There’s just not much interest in this show and I can’t say I’m surprised. The world title matches are both rematches and the other two main matches aren’t anything huge. There just isn’t much to go on with this show and it’s going to be even worse next time with HIAC. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow quotes Benjamin Franklin and talks about progress. Tonight he’ll show you what progress is about by beating a former Money in the Bank winner, but if the hardcore match goes the way he thinks, you’ll see him again as World Heavyweight Champion. Sandow grabs a headlock to start before taking Ziggler down with some clotheslines. Ziggler comes right back with a dropkick and the ten elbow drops to wake the crowd up. Damien will have none of this being in trouble stuff though and whips Ziggler over the corner as we take a break.

Back with Dolph getting two off a small package, only to get clotheslined down for the same result. We hit an arm stretch by Sandow for a bit before Sandow goes up, only to jump into a dropkick to the shoulder. Ziggler comes back with ten right hands in the corner but misses the Fameasser and gets caught with an Edge-O-Matic for two.

Damien kicks out the knee and hits a flip neckbreaker for two more as this match just keeps going. The Terminus is countered and the Fameasser gets a near fall for Dolph. Damien blocks the Zig Zag and rolls Ziggler up for two but tweaks his knee coming out of the corner, allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it wasn’t interesting. Both of these guys have been beaten down so much that it’s almost impossible to care about either one of them. The stakes in this match were so low and the match just kept going, making it even worse. Not much of interest here but it wasn’t the worst match ever with some decent near falls.

The opening video recaps the Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton feud.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is defending and this is a hardcore match. Alberto immediately heads to the floor but gets dropkicked through the ropes to give Van Dam control. A moonsault off the barricade puts the champion down and a slingshot DDT onto a chair gets two back inside. Alberto comes back with a wicked Backstabber for two before a few chair shots get the same. The chair is wedged between the top and middle ropes but Rob comes back with a kick to the face.

Rob pulls out a ladder and blasts Alberto in the face to knock him out to the floor. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto Del Rio onto the ladder only hits the ladder and the champion takes over. He snaps off the enziguri and stomps the ladder onto Rob for two before grabbing a trashcan. Rob dropkicks it back into his face and both guys are down.

A superkick puts the champion down and there’s the split legged moonsault onto Del Rio onto the ladder for two. Rolling Thunder hits the ladder again and there’s the armbreaker. Ricardo makes the save by hitting Del Rio with the bucket, earning himself a trip to the floor and a whip into the barricade.

Rob dropkicks the ladder into Del Rio and hits the Five Star onto the ladder onto Del Rio on the floor. Back in (I guess hardcore no longer means pinfalls count anywhere) Del Rio kicks out at two. A Van Terminator attempt misses and both guys are down. Del Rio gets the chair and drops Rob face first onto the steel before kicking Rob in the head to take over. He wraps it around the arm crushes it in the chair and puts on the armbreaker to retain at 16:03.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but again I don’t get the appeal of this feud at all. There isn’t much chemistry here and hopefully this is it between these two. The gimmick helped a bit but Del Rio’s title reign is just dragging at this point. He’s not bad in the ring at all but he’s crashed into the ceiling of his abilities and it’s hurting everyone now.

The Real Americans want to dip Khali and Santino in boiling hot oil. They also don’t like Buffalo that much.

Santino Marella/Great Khali vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Santino fight over a top wristlock to start with Jack taking him to the mat. Santino still can’t do the nipup so the fans chant for the Real Americans. Santino loads up the Cobra but Swagger bails to the floor, only to have to deal with Horny’s mini-Cobra. Thankfully Jack rips it up and goes back inside so Cesaro can stomp him Marella down a bit. Cesaro steals the stupid sock and it’s back to Swagger for a Vader Bomb and a running stomp by Antonio.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Swagger to pull on Santino’s arms. Santino suplexes out of it and finally brings in Khali. The giant pounds Cesaro down in the corner and hits the loud overhand chop. JBL: “That knocked one of the languages out of Cesaro.” Khali chops both Real Americans down and Santino dives over the top to take out Swagger. We FINALLY get to the point of the match as Cesaro swings Khali around for a remarkable 17 seconds and gets the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note other than the ending, but to be fair that’s what the entire match was designed to set up. Cesaro is going to have to be a face soon if he keeps swinging people around as it’s such an awesome looking move that people aren’t going to boo him. Now let’s see how WWE screws up with him and wastes his potential again.

Breast cancer is bad.

Intercontinental Title: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

This is the result of Truth beating Axel on a fluke earlier this week. Truth takes over to start by pounding away in the corner and sends Axel to the floor. Axel sends Truth into the barricade a few times for two back inside and the match slows down. The champion chokes Truth a bit and gets two off a dropkick before we hit the chinlock. Truth fights up and hits some forearms to set up a rollup for two. The spinning forearm gets the same and so does the sitout gordbuster. Axel sends him into the buckle and the fans chant boring. Thankfully Axel listens to them and hits his neckbreaker into a cutter to retain at 6:32.

Rating: D. I’m really getting tired of this idea of some random guy pins the champion and getting a title shot as a result. Instead, why not have Truth beat a bunch of guys (say everyone in 3MB, Swagger and one other guy) and earns a title shot as a result? It makes Axel look like he’s beating someone of note and gives Truth some credibility coming into the match. Nah that’s a stupid idea so let’s just have them trade wins like they do all the time.

We recap the pre-show.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

Brie is challenging and takes AJ down with ease, sending the champion out to the floor. AJ hides behind Tamina and heads back inside to take over. Brie is sent into the post and AJ goes after the arm, wrapping it around the middle rope. Brie’s DDT is countered into a DDT on the arm for two before sending her shoulder first “into” the post.

AJ keeps shouting about being better than Brie before going off on the bad arm with elbows. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar but AJ lets it go to skip around the ring. Brie dropkicks her down and hits some really basic stuff before knocking AJ down with a running knee. Tamina is choking Nikki Bella down though and the distraction lets AJ roll up Brie for the pin with a handful of tights at 6:32.

Rating: D+. To recap this story, AJ won the Divas Title clean, defeated every one of the Total Divas in the same match with a completely clean submission hold, and has held the title against all of them, but we’re supposed to boo her because the other girls are catty to each other on a reality show. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw, but the fans were more into it than they were the IC Title match.

We recap the Rhodes Family’s troubles, setting up the tag match tonight.

Dusty and his kids are ready for Shield. Cody gives a great speech about how his family may not be perfect but they fight for each other.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns

If the Rhodes Family wins, they get their jobs back. If Shield wins, Cody and Goldust are gone forever and Dusty loses his job too. This is also non-title. Dusty is at ringside to counter act Dean Ambrose and Goldust looks like Darth Maul. Cody pounds away on Seth to start and it’s quickly off to Roman who gets pounded down in the corner. Shield bails to the floor and stalks Dusty, setting up a cool looking six man standoff with the brothers protecting their dad.

Back in and Roman knees Cody down as the champions take over. Seth comes in but walks into an elbow to the jaw and a stomping in the corner. Rollins sends him into the buckle to escape and it’s off to Roman for some power. After an easy pounding it’s quickly back to Rollins to crank on the shoulder a bit. Cody gets caught in the Tree of Woe but frees up a leg to kick Seth down. The moonsault press hits Rollins perfectly and the hot tag brings in Goldust.

An atomic drop slows Reigns down and Goldust pounds him down in the corner. Goldust hits a spinning cross body off the top for two but misses a regular cross body, sending him out to the floor. Goldie dives back in at nine but gets caught in a body scissors from Rollins. Back to Reigns for a good looking clothesline for two before it’s back to Rollins who gets the same off a hilo. Goldust comes back by avoiding a dropkick and powerslamming Seth down. There’s the hot tag off to Cody for an Alabama Slam to Rollins for a very near fall. Something like a Muscle Buster gets two on Rollins and everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick staggers Reigns and Cody clotheslines him to the floor but an Ambrose distraction allows Seth to come back in for the save. Dusty elbows Ambrose down and Seth rolls up Cody for two. Rhodes comes pops back up and hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: B. This was ALL about emotion coming in but the match was good stuff on top of that. Again, this match worked because we were given a reason to care about the underdogs and wanted to see them win instead of being told we wanted to see them win. That’s how you make a good story and it worked perfectly well here.

The Rhodes family celebrates and some tag teams, Mike Rotundo and Arn Anderson come out to celebrate. The old school fan in me cringes at Dusty and Arn celebrating together.

Hell in a Cell ad with R-Truth preaching against its evils.

The expert panel of Tensai, Titus O’Neil and Miz talk about the show so far.

Brad and Vickie bicker about who is at fault for the Rhodes’ win.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the face. Kofi gets crotched while going up top so Bray can take over with some shots to the ribs and a neck lock. The fans start the Randy Savage chants as the match drags on. Kofi fights up but gets caught in another chinlock. Back up again and Kofi hits a dropkick followed by the Boom Drop, only to miss Trouble in Paradise.

Bray runs Kingston over with the cross body before going to the corner to bend back and look at Kofi upside down. Wyatt ups the ante a bit though by doing the Exorcist spider walk, sending Kofi running to the floor. Bray follows him out but Kofi runs back in and hits a BIG flip dive to take out the entire Family. Back in and Kofi gets two off a cross body, but the SOS is countered into Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C-. Those rest holds were death but Bray was so freaky in this match with the spider walk and Kofi’s dive helped a lot too. This show is dying as it goes though and the match didn’t help a lot. The Wyatts need to move up the card, but at least their antics are still creepy enough to make you take notice.

We recap Punk vs. Ryback. There’s not much to this one: Punk was about to kill Heyman last month when Ryback interfered as the newest Paul Heyman Guy. Tonight is Punk’s first step back towards revenge and Heyman himself.

CM Punk vs. Ryback

They stare at each other to start until Punk fires off some kicks to the legs, sending Ryback out to the floor. Punk follows him out and sends Ryback face first into the barricade and then into the post for good measure. Ryback shrugs it off and takes Punk back inside for a slam off the top to gain control. Punk’s ribs are sent into the post and we hit the chinlock.

A legdrop gets two on Punk and Ryback pounds away with some hard kicks. Ryback stays on Punk and shoves him around with his boot as this is still in slow motion. Off to a chinlock with a bodyscissors as the fans are getting restless. Punk finally comes back with some kicks and a swinging neckbreaker but Heyman grabs a mic and brags about beating Punk, allowing Ryback to come back back with a huge powerbomb for two.

Another powerbomb attempt is countered with a kick to the head and the Macho Elbow for two. Ryback fights out of the GTS and powerslams Punk down for two of his own. Punk is choked on the ropes, allowing Heyman to load up a kendo stick shot as the referee pulls Ryback away. The referee does his job for once though and catches Heyman before the swing, allowing Punk to low blow Ryback for the pin at 14:51.

Rating: C+. This was fine but the ending left a lot to be desired. Ryback is a lot better just showing off with power moves but the ending was never really in doubt as the story has to get to Punk vs. Heyman. That’s not a bad thing but like the rest of this show, it feels like an exercise in pointlessness.

New Match Added To Battleground

It’s Santino/Khali vs. Real Americans. My prediction:Cesaro somehow gets Khali in the giant swing, then loses to Santino via rollup, followed by me throwing things and ranting about how stupid WWE is.

No Way Out 2009: Why Having Two World Titles Is Stupid

No Way Out 2009
Date: February 15, 2009
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

It’s the final No Way Out and one more time we have a pair of Chamber matches. There are a total of five matches on the card so as you can see we don’t have a lot to work with on this one. Three are title matches, one is a street fight and the other is Shawn vs. JBL for Shawn’s freedom which I’m kind of surprised they didn’t hold off until Mania for, but Shawn wound up fighting Taker instead so I think it’s ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about the McMahons in their war against Orton. You know, instead of about the world titles or the Chamber matches or anything stupid like that. Oh wait they throw that in at the end. How nice of them.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge vs. HHH vs. Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Edge is champion here and who would have bet on Undertaker being the first guy to come out on a PPV? Ever seen or heard of that at all? I certainly haven’t. The Chamber has a personality now. Show comes out second to more or less no reaction. Show has gained back a good deal of his weight by this point. It’s kind of fun to wait and see who will be the two starters. It won’t be Kozlov as he comes in third.

HHH won’t start either (I’m stunned too) so it’ll be Jeff vs. Edge. Well you can’t complain there. Edge had ended Jeff’s first reign in January at the Rumble so the story is there. HHH has won three Chambers and is a mere 12 time world champion here. He spits through the top of Show’s cage down on his head just to tick him off. BIG pop when Jeff comes out. The time is allegedly five minutes here but I’ll believe that when I see it. Nearly fifteen minutes into the show it’s time to get going.

JR for some reason can’t get the rules right and Taz has to save him. When do you see that? Jeff goes straight at him and Edge counters with a clothesline to put the purple haired dude down for two. Ok this time pins have to be in the ring. Edge slugs away and growls at Show, mocking the chokeslam. Jeff fights back and the Twist of Fate hits maybe two minutes in. Swanton misses and it’s spear time. Wow they’re going kind of fast here aren’t they? Jeff rolls through it though into a small package, and Edge is out in maybe three minutes tops. WOW.

Now we have to wait for the next guy to come in as the crowd is stunned. He was the reigning champion too, so the world champion just got pinned in about three minutes in a title match. There’s the clock and in third is Kozlov who gets to beat on Hardy for awhile. He’s still undefeated here somehow. The headbutt to Jeff’s chest has him in trouble early on.

It’s so strange to think that Kozlov got his first title as a comedy enforcer rather than this version of him that is in a world title match on PPV. All Kozlov here as the fans chant USA. Well at least they can spell for the most part. Fallaway slam gets two as Jeff has had almost no offense in this period. Vlad gets a bearhug while Jeff is on his back. Jeff gets in some punches and that gets him nowhere so it’s more of the same now.

Here comes Jeff again with the slingshot dropkick to keep Koz down for awhile. Whisper in the Wind hits as the clock ticks down. It’s Big Show in fourth and I don’t like Jeff’s chances of survival here. Does JR have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids or something? Why else would he know them that easily? Koz and Show beat on Jeff for awhile but don’t cover him for no apparent reason.

They literally spend three and a half to four minutes just letting the other get in big shots on the other guy. Isn’t this kind of uh, stupid? LOUD chop by Show in the corner followed by a second. Tazz makes a bit of fun of JR for saying the Chamber has a personality. Kozlov finally drills Show to take him down while Jeff is able to recover. Well no one ever said these two are that intelligent.

The countdown comes on and it’s HHH in fifth. Anyone else think he’ll be the winner? He goes straight for Big Show and that gets him mostly nowhere so he switches off to….right back to Big Show. Ok then. Spinebuster takes down Show and HHH gets a counter to a Twist of Fate with a clothesline. Vlad does his best Stasiak impression as he charges at HHH but goes over the top to the cage.

The fans cheer for HHH which apparently validate putting him in the main event of Mania in dominance by him. Of course it did. Show gets back into it and the four guys pair off into teams of two. The margins of time are really stretching here. Show slams HHH into the cage and then Hardy into the cage. Show then charges but eats cage instead and is in trouble.

We finally hit the countdown and here comes Taker who goes straight for Show. You can tell Taker is in a zone here and would be ready for Shawn next month. Taker destroys everyone and sets for a double chokeslam but Show breaks it up for no apparent reason. Old School is started on HHH but Taker dives off onto Show instead and DDTs him on the cage. NOW Old School hits the Game. Taker is looking awesome here as he’s beating the tar out of everyone.

Kozlov gets a shot in finally and shows how stupid Russia is as he goes up to the corner and just like happened last year and to everyone else on the planet, the Last Ride drills him and out he goes. Ross is so casual about it that you can tell he’s thinking how stupid Vlad was there. Down to Show, Hardy, HHH and Taker now. Pedigree can’t hit Show and HHH gets backdropped to the cage again.

Show gets all dominant and throws HHH around before going after Hardy for a bit. So he’s a dominant swinger? Kinky. Hardy hammers away so Show just throws him onto the top of a pod. Taker manages to get a superplex off the top of the pod followed by a Pedigree followed by a huge Swanton. HHH steals the pin and we’re down to three.

Hardy is more or less dead after the Swanton so Taker beats on HHH for awhile. He goes for Old School on Hardy but HHH saves. Why do so many people do that? Let Hardy take a big move and maybe get pinned. Apparently that’s a bad thing here. Poetry in Motion with Taker action as Matt takes down HHH on the steel. And then a few seconds later a Tombstone gets us down to HHH vs. Taker which should be good.

Taker misses a big boot in the corner and we head out to the steel again. HHH comes off and lands in a chokeslam for a long two and a big reaction on the kickout. Spinebuster “out of nowhere (dang it JR stop stealing my lines!)” gets a close two. We get an awesome counter sequence as Taker goes for a Tombstone on the steel but HHH reverses over the ropes but Taker keeps rotating and gets one of his own.

It gets two though as HHH puts his foot on the rope. In the ELIMINATION CHAMBER, a foot on the rope breaks up a pin. That is, in a word, FREAKING WEAK! Pedigree gets two and draws boos as we can clearly tell the favorite here. After a big punch out, HHH pounds on him and, I kid you not, does ten punches in the corner. For the sake of my sanity he reverses and a Pedigree ends this. Not sure if we should chalk that up to intelligence or luck but whatever.

Rating: A-. Solid match for sure and the whole thing worked for the most part. They had the good balance here of shock with the beginning, the beatdown by the monster, the big beatdown to get rid of said monster, and the big slugout to end it. Great match and one of the best in the series so far. Oh and HHH has his 13th world title to set up the WAY too long feud with Orton.

Edge freaks out on Vickie who blames Edge for this one. Their marriage would end soon enough.

We recap Orton vs. the McMahons which started with Orton punting Vince when he tried to fire him. There was an alleged mental condition with Orton where he threatened to sue if he was fired. Naturally there wasn’t one which was one of the stupidest angles I can remember in a long time. Shane came back as the big surprise and of course this gets the music video treatment instead of the world title match later in the night. Well why wouldn’t it? IT’S THE MCMAHONS!!! Orton tried to punt Steph but Shane dove in front for the save.

Orton asks how Shane’s father is doing. He’s almost robotic here and it’s rather creepy. Shane is going to cry tonight it seems.

Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon

This is of course no holds barred because that’s all Shane knows how to do. Orton’s entrance takes a good two minutes as apparently with five matches on the card they need to fill time. Shane, as ticked off as possible and here for revenge, still is able to do that dance of his on the stage. Both guys charge but they can’t connect. Shane has the always intimidating gray hair.

And we’re seconds in and Shane is getting beaten down. Well this was nice to see but let’s get on to the next match already I guess. Shane fires back with jabs and his different style of punching. The floor is soaked which I think is off of Orton. It’s garbage can time as we hit the floor. There’s some other stuff out there too but it hasn’t been used yet. Shane goes into an exposed buckle and Shane is in trouble rather early on.

Shane’s back is hurt apparently. He gets a Singapore Cane from somewhere to drill Randy with as this is moving rather slowly. Shane sets up the Smackdown announce table at ringside and DRILLS Randy with the monitor, drawing some blood I think. Oh yeah it’s a big one. Orton is so orange it’s hard to tell at times. Shane sets up the big elbow but Legacy comes in for the save.

Shane, the non wrestler that he is, fights off former tag team champions on his own because who can’t do that right? Coast to Coast to Rhodes on a trash can which would look a bit better if the part of the can Rhodes had on his face actually moved. Shane goes for the elbow through the table but Orton moves, sending Shane crashing through everything.

There’s the elevated DDT for two because you know, fighting tag team champions, getting destroyed by a former world champion, crashing through a table and a spike DDT isn’t enough to stop someone for three seconds. Orton sets up a table and suplexes Shane from the top rope. Say it with me: it gets two. Orton does his stomp to continue boring us to pieces for two.

Randy sets for the spear but Shane gets a spear to take him down. Chair time as he hits Orton in all the spots that Orton uses for the stomp which is a rather creative sequence actually. And now we see two idiotic things to end this match: Shane sets for a Punt as Orton is getting up but Orton pops up with an RKO to end it. One: WHY WOULD YOU CHARGE AT ORTON WHEN HE’S CROUCHED DOWN? Two: an RKO ends this after Legacy, two crashes through tables from the top rope, a huge beating from Orton and shots with weapons don’t end this? Think the RKO is a bit strong by comparison?

Rating: C+. This was fun and a good hardcore match, but running at over 18 minutes and with the ridiculous amount of stuff Shane got up from, this was a bit much. It’s definitely ok but it needed about five minutes cut out and one of the big spots, probably the superplex, cut out to really make this high quality.

Orton’s ankle from the chair shot keeps him from punting Shane.

Mania ad which is for the 25th show, which isn’t the 25th anniversary. Make that a LONG ad for Mania.

ECW Title: Finlay vs. Jack Swagger

Swags has the title here of course. Christian would come back soon to really get the title going but for now we have this still. You can literally see people heading to get popcorn and drinks as Swagger comes out. Horny helped Finlay break Swagger’s undefeated streak so there’s your reason for this match. Ok, apparently Christian is already back. That came out of nowhere.

Finlay works on the knee but has his shoulder rammed into the post. The fans aren’t exactly impressed. Shoulderbreaker gets two. The fans are more or less openly booing this now. Swagger hammers on the arm as Finlay is in trouble. He gets a move that doesn’t really have a name but Christian has done it before. You set for a reverse DDT but drive the other guy’s back into a knee.

Swagger charges at Finlay in the corner but the Irish dude gets a rolling cradle for one as he couldn’t get the shoulders down. Swagger puts Finlay on the top but they get down without anything of note happening. Crowd is mostly dead but not quite. Here comes Horny again for no apparent reason. Cross body off the middle rope gets two for Finlay. Celtic Cross is set up but for absolutely zero reason at all, Horny gets on the apron (he’s called a child again despite having abeard). Finlay is rammed into him and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this.

Rating: D. Weak match and no one bought Finlay as having a chance with Christian being back now. Horny being up there like that made zero sense at all unless they’re trying to make him out to be a child which is rather stupid as HE HAS A BEARD. Why am I trying to figure out Leprechaun facial hair? Match was kind of there.

Shawn is getting ready. We recap the feud with him and JBL. The idea was that Shawn had spent a lot of his money from his high period and now can’t afford to send his kids to college and various other things. You know, because being one of the top guys in WWE pays jack apparently.

Anyway, JBL hired him to help him get the world title going into Mania but Shawn only kind of helped him at the Rumble (he superkicked JBL and Cena) so JBL isn’t happy. Bradshaw made a proposal: they have a match at the PPV where if Shawn wins he gets a full payoff and is free and clear. If JBL wins, he owns the rights to Shawn’s name, likeness and royalties, including the HBK stuff. Kind of obvious who’s winning but the buildup was really good and JBL was as good as he ever was here.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Had it not been for Taker having nothing else to do but have one of the best matches ever with Shawn at Mania, I really would have liked to see this as JBL vs. Shawn for the title instead. There’s the bell and we’re off and running. JBL powers him into the corner and yells about how it’ll only take one mistake. Shawn finally goes after JBL and the fight is on.

Bradshaw hits the floor for a bit to hide and that gets him absolutely nowhere. Shawn grabs a chair but can’t do it so he hammers away instead. Back in and Bradshaw catches him for a bit. Backslide gets two and here comes the control by Bradshaw. Shawn takes out the knee and gets a Figure Four but JBL is right next to the ropes so it doesn’t mean much.

Crossface goes on which they won’t call by name. The elbow drops begin with JBL looking over at Shawn’s wife who is here. She’s pretty but less British than I expected. Bradshaw hammers him down in the corner and we hit the bearhug. They try to explain the whole Shawn is broke thing but at the end of the day, Shawn makes a big fat paycheck for being a major star in WWE and it’s not like he doesn’t have a job. Just odd as it’s not like he’s out of wrestling when this started.

Shawn gets out of the hold and gets an atomic drop to take over again. Make it a pair. They fight it out on the ropes and down goes JBL. The elbow misses though as Cole channels his inner JR: “Can a man that has always been in the eye of the storm become the storm itself?” Sure why not. Clothesline from JBL hits for two to almost no reaction as the ending is that clear.

The second clothesline hits but Shawn gets to the floor to save his copyright rights. Shawn is barely in at 9 which is impressive as he didn’t move until 7. Bradshaw throws him back to the floor out of frustration it seems. Who would have thought this was one of the feature matches on a PPV 10 years prior? It would have been a tag wrestler against a guy so hurt he couldn’t walk.

JBL goes eviler and goes after Shawn’s wife, ticking him off to no end and I think you can figure it out from here. His wife throws in a shot for good measure. Back in there’s the forearm and a very fast nipup. The elbow hits this time and the band is tuned up. For once that hits completely clean and Shawn wins a bunch of money.

Rating: C. The match was fun but at the same time there wasn’t much here. JBL isn’t the kind of guy that can put on a classic for the most part and Shawn didn’t do much here for the most part, although I’d think that’s more due to his opponent than Shawn himself. It’s definitely not bad, but it was kind of underwhelming and everyone knew the ending that was coming. Still fun though.

Another ad for Mania. Think they’re pushing this one kind of hard?

Jericho says he’ll win and then is going to challenge Flair to a title match at Mania. Ok never mind no he isn’t.

The Chamber is lowered again.

Raw World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is out first to a pretty decent pop and is the reigning champion coming in. This is easily the high point of Knox and his beard of awesome. Kane is your jobber of the day here as he’d never win a world title right? Now we get to the meat of the match as Kofi comes out and Edge jumps him, taking his place in the match. I’ll get to the big problem with this at the end. Also the winner is pretty clear now isn’t he? A Conchairto ends Kofi and Edge jumps into his pod.

Rey comes down to help Kofi as Jericho is out so we’ll start with them. They already had that epic feud over the IC Title so there’s automatic history here. Both guys fight for control and Rey can’t get a 619. Rey gets a flip over the ropes and the beating is on. Rey takes a HARD shot into the glass. Mysterio steals the Spiderman spot from RVD and gets a rana and seated senton to take over.

Kane is in third and goes right for Rey. Jericho tries to jump Kane and it gets him nowhere. Rey fights with what he can but there’s only so much he can do against a guy the size of Kane. Rey manages to get both of them in position for the 619 but Kane pops up to stop him. Rey, the superhero that he is, manages to get the big man down and get the area code move (he’s screwed if that ever changes). Jericho adds a Codebreaker for no cover as Lawler is criticizing them too. A seated senton off the top of a pod gets rid of Kane. Was there a need to take out Jericho first though? Anyway Kane is gone.

In fourth is Knox who is evil because he felt like being evil. There was something so refreshing about that and I loved it. He doesn’t really have a point to beating on Rey. He just kind of likes it. Simple but effective. Jericho sends him out to the cage but the springboard cross body doesn’t work at all. Rey gets caught in a Tree of Woe in the cage which is kind of a cool visual.

Knox is a generic big man but he does the job pretty well. He tries to set Rey for his finisher back in the ring but Jericho grabs a Codebreaker for the pin to get us to the final four. That one I can understand as Jericho had an opening and Mike had one arm free instead of two so it was more taking an opening rather than saving Rey. Anyway Edge is in fourth.

Rey goes right after him and the beating is on. Jericho gets both guys down and can kind of pick his spots. Lionsault to Rey gets knees and an Edge-O-Matic gets two on Jericho. Spear misses Rey and the Codebreaker misses Edge. Jericho stops the 619 to Edge for no apparent reason other than hatred of Mysterio I suppose. Tower of Doom spot as Jericho gets a sunset bomb on Edge out of the corner as Edge hits a release German on Rey, who is more or less dead.

Here comes Cena and Edge does his best Vince imitation as he turns around to meet him. Cena goes off on everyone but mainly focuses on Edge. Various moves take down just about everyone as Cena is ALL fired up. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge as it’s all Cena. FU to Edge is blocked by a Codebreaker to Jericho. 619 to Cena sets up the spear from Edge and CENA IS GONE!!! Edge is totally shocked that he finally pinned Cena.

It’s Rey vs. Jericho vs. Edge once the match gets going again after more or less stopping cold after that. Rey sets for a 619 to both Canadians but Edge gets out of the way. Jericho grabs the Walls but is rolled up by Rey to get us down to one on one for the title. Spear eats turnbuckle and Rey gets a rollup for two and a BIG reaction from the crowd which is totally into this.

Rey gets that soccer style kick to the side of the head for another long two. The announcers talk about the show vs. show thing which is rather stupid but we’ll just go with it as they insist it’s a big and important thing or whatever. Rey gets his fourth long two off a tornado DDT. Rey goes for some kind of a springboard move but Edge kicks him in the face to put him back down.

Powerbomb on the cage can’t hit as Rey counters into a facejam on the cage. FREAKING OW MAN! Rey modifies the 619 to kick Edge in the back of his head. In a SICK spot, Rey charges at Edge but gets launched into the air and into the glass which he literally bounces off of. FREAKING OW MAN PART DEUX THE SEQUEL WITH MOST OF THE ORIGINAL CAST GONE AND A WEAKER STORY THAT IS RIDING ON THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL! Spear ends it as Rey is mostly dead already.

Rating: A-. Another great match here, but this is what I hated about it that I mentioned earlier on: Edge was distraught about losing his world title two and a half hours ago so he goes out and wins another. What could have been a big devastating loss for Edge that gave him something to do for a few months as he tries to get the title back is thrown away as he now has the OTHER world title and is just fine for it. It makes it seem like the world title is easily replaceable which isn’t what it should be at all. Anyway, the match was very fun and the crowd was into it the whole time, making this an excellent match.

Highlights and Edge’s celebration take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. With two matches that are very good for the titles and three others that are all not bad, it’s hard to say this wasn’t a great show. The show was based around those two matches and with both of them delivering how do you really argue this one? Yeah the other stuff is kind of weak, but the selling points of this show worked so what else can you ask for really? Good stuff and it flew by in the good sense of the term.

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On This Day: September 17, 2006 – Unforgiven 2006: Hello Cena And Goodbye Trish

Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

For some reason this is a very requested show, so here it is. This is a two match show for the most part as Cena goes for the world title against Edge in a TLC match where Cena will be the HUGE heel. Also here we have DX vs. the McMahons and Big Show in Hell in a Cell. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that match all the way through so that’s a nice little bonus reason to watch this show. Other than that there’s just not much here, but then again 06 was only an ok year for the company. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about those two matches which is exactly what you would expect it to be about.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow talk about two different career paths. I’m not sure who gyrates more: Hardy or Melina. They mention Jeff’s three year absence, which was when he was in TNA, but we can’t say that name so there you are. Long feeling out process to start which is fine if they have time to work with. Nice armdrag and then another by Hardy as we get the obligatory Ricky Steamboat reference.

Nitro plays the standard heel role by hiding on the floor when Jeff gets momentum. That’s such a basic thing and it worked very well. I don’t get why more people don’t do it. SWEET slingshot dropkick to Nitro and he hits the floor. Baseball slide takes care of him there too as it’s all Hardy. Nitro hits a dropkick to Hardy while Hardy is on top to take over though. Dang Melina can scream.

He works on Hardy’s knee which is rather smart given the style of offense he uses. Top rope twisting moonsault (Starship Pain but from the top rope and without the leg split) misses and we’re back to even. Whisper in the Wind hits very well and Nitro is in trouble. Swanton hits clean but Jeff’s leg is hurt and Nitro gets his foot on the ropes. Nitro keeps working on the knee and even gets a leg/ankle lock.

Melina gets up on the apron and down she goes thanks to Nitro which gets a rollup for Hardy for two. She can however take her boot off and apply it to the face of Hardy to make sure Nitro wins. Ross gets in a sl** jab at her which is rather amusing for some reason.

Rating: B-. Competitive but this went nearly 20 minutes which is a very long time for these two. It’s pretty good but for some reason it just never clicked. The ending is fine though as it’s basic heel stuff which never gets old. What more can you ask for in a match as far as basic face vs. basic heel stuff? Solid, Cruiserweight style stuff which is a good idea.

Marine stuff, which wasn’t a bad movie.

Matt gives Jeff a pep talk and Lita shows up and insults occur.

Kane vs. Umaga

Oh yay. It’s this match again. They claim this is Umaga’s PPV debut. That’s idiotic as he had been at Backlash, 4 months before this. I was kind of there so I think I’d know. Estrada is annoying which is the idea so he’s got that right at least. The introduction takes about 5 minutes. Who would guess that Kane would win the world title before Umaga would?

Kane punches him back into the corner to start and it’s a slugout. Big boot to the face does almost nothing and then Kane sits up after a kick from Umaga. Some Estrada interference lets Umaga take over, which sucks because I was enjoying the whole neither can do anything at all. King compares this to Godzilla vs. Mothra, because both of them resemble large butterflies.

The running flying hip smash connects and Kane is reeling. And of course such a high impact move is followed up by a thumb to the throat, which is SO DEVASTATING! It appears that all Kane can do is punch. Him vs. Rocky Balboa could be amusing. A flying thumb to the head misses from the middle rope. I do enjoy that flying clothesline from Kane. Then again I like Kane in general so there you are.

Chokeslam is started but almost blocked. More striking and then Kane hits a belly to belly (!) over the top to the floor and they head into the crowd. I think you can put the rest together for yourselves. The brawl keeps going, resulting in absolutely no conclusion at all. They brawl into the set and go through a door in it, ticking off the crowd immensely.

Rating: D+. Kane didn’t care at all at this point and can you blame him? He had no reason to as he knew he wasn’t getting elevated at all no matter what he did. He was stuck in these dead end feuds with random people that meant nothing such as this one. Umaga would go on to fight Cena for the world title in a few months while Kane just did hims thing over and over again. He’s a company man, you have to give him that.

We go to Vince in the back who is watching a tape of him hitting and then pinning HHH on Raw. He and Shane want to destroy DX which they’ve been trying to do all summer now. The idea is that Vince does nothing but gets to do the pin.

Raw Tag Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

The Highlanders were really funny in their vignettes and then debuted to a nice reaction. This is more or less the peak of their importance. Rory (the other is Robbie) looks like Mad Dog Vachon from a facial hair perspective. Imagine Scottish Bushwackers. That sums them up pretty well. Kenny and Mikey are the Squad members here today. All Highlanders so far.

This really isn’t much of a match as you can more or less feel the screwy ending coming soon. Robbie misses a dive and the three other guys beat up Robbie to take over. Crowd is DEAD. The top rope legdrop from Kenny misses as this needs to end like now. Rory gets the hot tag which is lacking heat and hits his finisher on Mikey. After a save Johnny kicks Rory in the head and an X Factor (by the beard no less) ends it.

Rating: D. And so what? That’s what I was thinking when this match ended: so what. Who cares that the Spirit Squad has ANOTHER win using the same stuff they’ve used every time? It’s just not an interesting dynamic for this long, and then at the end of the day Piper and Flair wound up taking the titles from them. That’s the best they could do? This division was long since dead at this point and that was very clear.

We recap the Vince vs. DX feud which went on forever and was pretty badly received. It just kept going and stupid stuff that DX was doing was “breaking” Vince. Steve Austin kidnapped Vince, destroyed his car and threatened to shoot him and Vince never broke. And yet this is enough to get us to a Cell match?

Big Show/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Degeneration X

Does anyone else have an issue with Vince and Shane and even Show being in a Cell match? Does that just not fit right with anyone besides me? Show is ECW Champion at this point. This is a different kind of cell too as it’s not as wide but taller. Maybe it is as wide. Double low blow immediately on Show and DX takes over. I have a feeling this could go on for a very long time.

Shane gets launched into the cage as HHH beats up his father in law. Shane is busted open already. Show’s balls must be throbbing since he’s still down. All DX so far as Vince gets his face grated over the cage which is a great spot as it’s painful looking and draws blood too. You can’t beat that. Show is back up and HHH does his jump over the top in the corner which always looks good.

Shawn hits a dive but it gets caught. I love power spots like that. How can you fake catching a grown man like that when he’s launching himself down at you? HHH drops a knee on Vince and it CLEARLY misses by at least 4 inches. Vince not moving an inch didn’t help things. Really bad camera shot there as it totally exposed everything. It looked fine to the live fans I guess, but terrible from a TV perspective.

Apparently HHH has a bad ear, which is a rare injury. Vince is bleeding and Shawn goes into the cage. Things have slowed down a lot here. JR calls the fence a javelin catcher. Where does he get some of this stuff? The weapons are brought in, starting with a trashcan. Coast to Coast hits HHH and DX is more or less dead.

Shawn is brought back in and Vince gets to punch on him a bit. Shane hits a slingshot on HHH to launch him into the cage. Vader Bomb to Shawn from Show. Vince picks him up though and then does it again. You imbecile. HHH comes back after a decent rest and it’s low blows for everyone. From out of nowhere Shane gets a torture rack of all things into a neckbreaker on HHH.

Everyone is down until a SICK enziguri takes out Shane again. Vince of course lowers his pants to try to get Shawn to kiss up to him. HHH makes a save but too much Big Show stops that. Shawn manages to avoid a splash with a nip up and Vince takes it. DX takes out Show with a bunch of low blows and here’s the big comeback. They do all their favorites and HHH gets some chairs from under the ring.

They Pillmanize Shane’s neck which would have killed him in kayfabe but whatever. Show comes back to stop the kick as this is going too long. Actually it isn’t as the length is helping to a degree. Chairs and steps plus chin music take Show out again. Vince is all that’s left so DX pulls down Show’s shorts. You know what’s coming. There doesn’t appear to be a thong either. You can’t say he won’t do whatever it takes for his company.

HHH busts out a sledgehammer just for fun. Superkick hits and HHH breaks the hammer over Vince. So between that and attempting to murder Shane, how many years in prison is that for them? Pin is academic. Shane is taken out on a stretcher, as is Vince, which gets cheers. I’ll give them this: that’s how you END a feud.

Rating: C+. It was entertaining, but this just didn’t feel like it belonged in a Cell. If there hadn’t been so many people it would have fit in a regular cage better. This wasn’t bad, but it just doesn’t measure up to everything else. The comedy thing hurts the whole pain part a lot. This was a good match, but after the attempted murder, cheering them is kind of hard. It’s ok but it doesn’t work if that makes sense.

The post match stuff takes like five minutes.

Mania is in Detroit.

We get a package on Trish, as her retirement match is next. It’s her hometown, so what do you really think is going to happen? If nothing else the highlight reel of her hotness is nice. The story is that Trish wasn’t going to announce the retirement but Lita told WWE.com so that Trish couldn’t have her moment, which is different if nothing else.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

If she’s going to go, this is how you do it: in your hometown against your rival for the title. Both of their theme songs freaking rock. Lita is announced from Atlanta which sounds weird. LOUD Thank You Trish chant before the music even hits. She gets the loudest pop for a Diva ever, period. This really is a cool moment and her stumbling up the steps is awesome too.

Lita gets booed out of the building and I had to grab my headphones to get the loudness out of my ears when Trish went on offense. Thesz Press off the apron to Lita and I can’t get over how hot this crowd is for this. I know it’s a big deal but DANG they’re loud for it. They changed the mat during the video package so that the blood is gone, which is nice since the stains on the mat get annoying later on.

Lita’s looks never worked that well with bangs. In a cool spot, Lita blocks the headscissors out of the corner and Trish winds up sitting on Lita’s lap in the corner as they punch each other. Never seen that before. They fight even more on the top and Trish goes to the mat. Moonsault misses and the Stratusfaction is missed too. A fan at ringside actually asks Trish to marry him as she’s down. Well he’s certainly trying.

Trish is in trouble as they actually tease her losing here. That’s rather amusing. JR mentions she’ll be in the Hall of Fame, which better be true. If she’s not they might as well close off any other Divas. They slug it out which is something these two can actually make believable, which isn’t often said of the ladies. BIG old kick to the head of Lita gets two.

Sweet move by Trish as Stratusfaction is reversed but Trish twists PERFECTLY in midair into a sunset flip. The sunset flip part isn’t great but the twist was nice. It gets two, but Trish gets the FREAKING SHARPSHOOTER and the crowd absolutely loses it. Lita almost gets the rope but Trish drags her back to the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A. This wasn’t for the match, although it was good. This was about a last moment, and I’d love to hear a way to go out that is better than this. In her hometown, using the most famous move in the history of the country, she beat her archrival and broke the record for most Women’s Championship ever. That is what you call epic. Good match too, but that’s expected from these two. Crowd was awesome too.

Everyone gives Trish an ovation, including Lillian, Jim and Jerry. Lita would retire in like 3 months, killing the division once and for all.

There’s a season premiere of Smackdown. I think that was the Friday debut.

Orton is in the back and gets a mixed reaction, even though he’s a heel here. He says no one cares about her retirement unless you’re Canadian. Orton REALLY can’t talk yet here and it shows badly. He has Carlito next. Odd interview and not in a good way.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

I still like Burn in My Light better than Voices. This is more or less the apex of Carlito’s WWE push. Standard stuff to start which is fine. Randy takes over and we get an RKO chant. I love Canadian crowds. So much for that Randy takes over aspect as Carlito hits some nice springboard splashes. Both guys have nice dropkicks also. Orton’s mouth is busted, which today would bring a match to a screeching halt.

It’s chinlock time, which was more prevalent back in the day if you can believe that. Carlito hits a Downward Spiral which is a required move in this company I think. RKO is countered into the Backcracker and is told they have two minutes left. To end it, Carlito does a double springboard into a spinning clothesline. It doesn’t hit though as Orton pulls him into the RKO in a SWEET counter. Awesome ending to a bad match.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring. It’s nothing great at all as the whole thing was about the ending. Carlito was a rather odd worker as he had such a different style but it just never clicked for more than like one match in a row. This was rather short and didn’t really ever get off the ground, but after the long celebration with Trish they’re likely short on time.

We recap Edge vs. Cena, which is happening because Cena wants the title. The idea is if Cena loses here to Edge in Edge’s hometown then he goes to Smackdown for three years. There’s also a new belt here as Edge threw the spinner belt in the water. He has a new spinner with an R on it. This gets the music video treatment. Oh and Cena’s dad got beaten up by Edge.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Oh and it’s TLC. Let the Vince hardon begin. No coat for Edge here which is weird. BIG pop for Edge. I really want to see him as a face again. It might have helped to have him be a face for more than like two months or give him more than just shouting SPEAR over and over again. They start booing before Cena’s music even hits. Nuclear heat on Cena.

I love having the ladder and chair set up on the tables around the ring. That’s always a perk for some reason. Cena just being a two time champion is great. You can barely understand Lillian over the pop for Edge. Ross makes a good point and asks what Buddy Rogers would think of a TLC match. I’d counter with what would he think of the belt that spins with a big R on it.

LOUD booing for a simple headlock. This crowd is awesome. Impaler hits but since it’s not 2000 anymore that move is just average. I’ve never gotten that: how can a move like that just lose its power? Cena goes into some chairs and Edge is loudly cheered. You’ll get used to that tonight. Ladder time as Edge is mostly dominant. I’m getting tired of me saying things and then them changing immediately. A hip toss puts Edge onto a ladder and the American takes over.

It has always confused me a bit how people always talk about experience in these kinds of matches. How much experience do you need to climb a ladder? Sunset powerbomb through the table is kind of botched as the table isn’t there so they hit mat instead of table. A powerslam does it instead. These matches are hard to review as you kind of always wind up just listing off spots and it gets rather repetitive.

Edge runs up the ladder and hits a dive over the top to take out Cena which looked awesome. One man Conchairto is avoided by Cena, resulting in the cheering from fans over the lack of massive head trauma. STFU with Edge inside a ladder, which actually would hurt which is nicer than the figure four around the leg which wouldn’t really add a lot of pain I don’t think.

Cena hits an FU on the ladder. As in the ladder was across his shoulder and landed on Edge who was on the mat. Edge takes over again and sets Cena on a table then sets up another table on top of that. Nothing happens with it though, so I’d bet on that being the big finish. The BIG ladder is brought out and Edge is down, so Cena has to inch up the ladder.

SPEAR to take Cena off the ladder. It’s not quite the one to Hardy but it’s not bad at all. They fight over big spots near the ladder and Edge hits the floor. Cena almost gets the belt but Lita makes the save and Cena takes a big old fall to the floor and through a table. Lita messes up though and causes Edge to go flying through a table as well. FU to Lita and it’s time for Miley Cyrus’ big song from last year.

The double stack table is set up again but for no apparent reason at all as Edge is down on the floor and Cena is capable of climbing. Both guys on are the ladder and in a fairly famous visual now, Edge takes the FU off the ladder through two tables. Cena grabs the belt, which he would hold for the next full year plus.

Rating: B. I thought a higher grade at first but this feels more right. It’s definitely a good match and worthy of being a PPV main event, but it just feels kind of anti-climactic. Cena defies the odds again and wins the title? It’s not bad or anything but it just lacks that spark I guess you would say. Very intense match though with some very nice big bumps. This is worth checking out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely a good show and the two huge matches are definitely a good way to sell the show. This has some issues with it but for the most part it’s good. Trish’s moment is probably the highlight of the show actually but the whole comedy spot in the Cell match just stopped that one dead. It’s worth seeing and is definitely entertaining but not a classic or anything. I’d consider this a good popcorn show if that makes sense.

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On This Day: September 16, 2013 – Night Of Champions 2012: Punk vs. Cena! Again!

Night of Champions 2012
Date: September 16, 2012
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s another WWE PPV here and in this case almost everything is for a title. This doesn’t really mean much as almost every show has four or five title shots but it’s an interesting theme I guess. The main event here is Cena vs. Punk III for the title with Punk defending for once, which is the third combination they could go with in their series. Other than that not much really stands out here so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Brodus Clay, Epico, Primo, Justin Gabriel, Tensai, Tyson Kidd, Michael McGillicutty, Zach Ryder, Titus O’Neal, Darren Young, Jinder Mahal, JTG, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Ted DiBiase, Santino Marella

The winner gets a US Title shot at Cesaro later in the night. Cameron is back from suspension apparently. Anybody but Santino. Anybody. Slater asks everyone to stand back so he can dance and he’s eliminated by 15 people at once. McGillicutty is thrown out as is DiBiase in about 40 seconds. Brodus dumps Primo and Mahal a few seconds later. The problem in battle royals is that there isn’t much else to say other than who tosses out who until we get to the end. Brodus puts out Epico and Tensai LAUNCHES Gabriel out.

Kidd is sent to the apron and tries a slingshot hurricanrana but gets powerbombed onto the pile of people. The monsters square off and Santino tries a double Cobra to no avail. The Players and McIntyre team up and dump Brodus, who may have hurt his shoulder. The Cobra puts JTG out and Ryder dropkicks McIntyre out. Brodus leaves and his shoulder seems fine so maybe it was just something quick. There’s the Cobra and it drops Tensai and Young, with the latter getting covered.

O’Neal dumps Santino and we’re down to Titus, Young, Tensai and Ryder. Titus suplexes Young onto Tensai before the partners go after Ryder. The Players double team Ryder but get dumped by Tensai. Tensai thought Ryder went out but he slid back in. Tensai charges into the double knee in the corner but he blocks the Rough Ryder into a powerbomb position. He goes to dump Ryder but Ryder counters into a hurricanrana to eliminate Tensai for the win at 5:42.

Rating: C-. It’s a battle royal so there isn’t much to say here. Ryder getting the shot is fine as the fans are going to react to him. He doesn’t have much of a chance against Cesaro but that’s ok as I’m sure more than one other title will change hands tonight. This was about what you would expect, but at least Santino didn’t win which would have been insufferable.

The opening video is all about Cena vs. Punk. They aren’t even hiding that the Smackdown Title means nothing does it?

Cole talks about the Lawler story and says that Jerry is going home this weekend. That’s great to hear. JBL is introduced as the replacement and says that he’s just keeping the seat warm for Lawler.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.

It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.

The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.

Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.

Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.

The Prime Time Players are talking to Eve when someone comes up to tell her there’s an emergency. Eve runs off and finds Kaitlyn down with a bad ankle. She isn’t sure who attacked her but Eve says they’ll figure out something.

We recap the Anger Management story with I believe the same video that aired on Friday. Basically Kane and Bryan both have anger issues and have been sent to anger management, resulting in some wacky outcomes and a tag title shot tonight.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Kane/Daniel Bryan

Kane and Kofi start but it’s quickly off to Truth. The big man powers Truth down and it’s off to Bryan for some NO kicks which drive him crazy. Truth armdrags him down and it’s back to Kofi with a top rope forearm for two. A BIG kick to the face puts Bryan down and it’s back to Truth for the spinning legdrop. The champions are the heels here by default, but it’s more like they’re just the less popular team.

Back to Kane who pounds Truth down into the corner and stomps away a bit. Back to Bryan and the fans erupt. The fans are going to turn this guy face by force soon and it’s going to be massive. Bryan fires off some kicks for two and it’s back to Kane for a low dropkick for two. The challengers try to work together but Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner and it’s time for a fight.

They almost brawl but Bryan wants to hug it out, drawing the pop of the night so far. JBL freaking out over stuff is something I’ve missed. Truth FINALLY makes the hot tag after apparently writing the great American novel while the challengers hugged. Kofi hits his usual stuff and it sounds like the fans are booing him.

Kane pulls Bryan to the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise and they get in another argument. Kofi dropkicks Kane and (almost) hits a flip dive onto Bryan. NO Lock to Kofi doesn’t work as Truth makes the save to more booing. Bryan kicks Kofi in the face but Kane tags himself in and loads up the clothesline. Another argument with Bryan lets Kofi run up for a rana but Bryan holds Kane’s foot. Kane stays on the top but Bryan shoves him off into a splash to Kofi to win the titles at 8:30.

Rating: B-. This was different but the fans ate it up with a spoon. There was absolutely no other option for this match as Kane and Bryan are currently over like free beer in a frat house. The pop for the win is bigger than probably all of the reactions for a tag title match in the last five years combined, so at least people are paying attention now.

Both guys say they’re the champions post match but Kane sends fire from the posts to end the argument.

Kaitlyn can’t go tonight and Eve says no one deserves the title match tonight. Booker says Eve can have it. Teddy isn’t pleased.

Cole and JBL talk about breast cancer and how WWE is partnering with a cancer research foundation which is why the middle rope is pink. Nothing wrong with that at all.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro

Ryder won the preshow battle royal to get this shot. The word of the night is Unfair, which is what Cesaro thinks this match is. Cesaro takes him down with ease to start but Ryder takes Cesaro down by the wrist to counter. A flapjack and dropkick get two for Ryder but Cesaro shrugs them off and hooks a chinlock. A clothesline gets two for Cesaro as does the gutwrench suplex.

Cesaro gets the same off a regular suplex and the fans cheer for Ryder. They slug it out but Cesaro throws him into the air and hits the European uppercut for two. Cesaro hooks a reverse neckbreaker but pulls Ryder onto his back for a submission hold. Ryder escapes and hits a discus lariat for no cover.

A rollup gets two for Ryder as does a middle rope dropkick. Ryder hits a neckbreaker for two and Cesaro rolls to the apron. He goes up but Ryder brings him down with a hurricanrana. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot but Aksana pulls him to the floor. Back in and a European Uppercut sets up the Neutralizer to retain the title at 6:40.

Rating: C-. This was perfectly fine. It wasn’t a great match at all but for a thrown together PPV title defense this was fine. Cesaro needs a bit more development but he’s fine having random challengers like this one. Ryder is good to throw out there as the people still like him so the fans react to what he does. Nothing great but this was fine.

Otunga, Del Rio and Rodriguez are in the back. Ricardo has his neck brace off and Otunga yells at him, saying it needs to be on at all times even though Ricardo says it’s not hurting anymore. They call Ricardo stupid and he puts the brace back on.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

Basic grudge match here. The fans like Ziggler and they fight over a lockup to start. Ziggler avoids a right hand and brags about doing so. A clothesline takes Ziggler down and Randy stomps away. Dolph comes back with a dropkick and a neckbreaker for two. Cole is playing the straight man on commentary here tonight and it’s really refreshing. Orton counters a suplex into a slingshot suplex for two.

The backbreaker sets up some clotheslines from Randy but he can’t hook the Elevated DDT. The camera keeps cutting to Vickie and it’s getting distracting. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but Orton counters into a powerbomb. Orton gets shoved off the top and a missile dropkick gets two for Ziggler. Dang it quit cutting to her. We get it: she’s on the floor and shouting a lot. We can see that very clearly from the regular camera shot.

Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows capped off by the jumping elbow for two. Off to a chinlock with the headstand by Ziggler but this time he bridges forward to crank on the neck even more. Back up and another dropkick gets two for Ziggler. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and superplexed down for two. They slug it out and Ziggler holds his own. He runs into an elbow but takes Orton down with the Fameasser for two.

They head to the floor with Orton taking over. He hits the Elevated DDT off the barricade but Orton throws Ziggler back in instead of taking the countout. That only gets two back inside and Orton loads up the RKO but gets countered into the sleeper. Orton throws him off his back, throws Ziggler into the air and pulls him into the RKO for the pin at 18:15.

Rating: B+. Very good match here with Ziggler more than hanging with Orton. JBL pushed the idea that if Ziggler cashes in, Orton should get a title match. My guess is that they’ll go with that feud after Orton gets back from the movie which isn’t a bad idea. I’m not wild on Ziggler losing AGAIN but at least it was in a competitive match.

We get a sneak preview of Dredd 3D.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Eve Torres

I can’t say I blame them for swapping in Eve. Kaitlyn just can’t do anything in the ring. JBL is talking about the Loch Ness Monster and other conspiracy theories for some reason. Layla grabs a quick rollup for two followed by a headlock. You can see the fans walking to the back during the match. A low dropkick takes Eve down and they shake hands, only for Eve to get a cheap shot to take over. Eve hooks a headscissors choke as the fans chant OLE. Layla makes a comeback but misses her bouncing cross body. The rolling neckbreaker gives us a new champion at 6:35.

Rating: D+. The match was technically fine but my goodness the crowd being silent brings it down. Eve being champion makes sense but it’s not like the title changes anything with her. She’s FAR better in the ring than some of the girls on the roster so I can’t complain much there, but they’ve treated the title like nothing for so long that this doesn’t mean anything at all.

Some cancer survivors are here and at least they’re not booed.

Now we get a video about breast cancer.

Bryan is shouting about being the tag team champions and runs into AJ who is just standing around with her hips cocked to the side in a short skirt. She doesn’t say anything so Bryan keeps walking and runs into Dr. Shelby. Kane shows up and shouts that he’s the tag champions (I’m not messing up with grammar. That’s what they’re saying).

They get in another fight and AJ snaps and tells them to calm down. Shelby makes Bryan congratulate Kane but Kane won’t say anything. Bryan yells that he’s the tag team champions but Kane pops up and pours Gatorade over Bryan. Kane: “I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!” Stop the shot. Just cut it now. This isn’t going to be topped. Kane can be heard running off shouting that he’s the tag team champions and AJ loses it with laughter.

The look on JBL’s face somehow makes it even better. “I came back for THIS???”

After that hilarious moment, we bring it way down with a recap of Del Rio vs. Sheamus. In short, they had a match, Sheamus beat Del Rio, they had another match, Sheamus beat Del Rio again, Del Rio complained, now they’re having another match and Sheamus can’t use the Brogue Kick.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is in mostly white attire here which isn’t a great look for him. We get the big match intros which is a nice touch. Before the bell here’s Booker T. He’s concluded his investigation into the Brogue Kick and the move is legal, thereby making the last two weeks TOTALLY POINTLESS. Sheamus fires a quick Brogue Kick but takes out Otunga instead. Referees come out to take Otunga to the back.

JBL defends his own loss to Mysterio in 23 seconds as Sheamus pounds away in the corner. A neckbreaker gets two for Sheamus and we head to the floor where Sheamus hits the shoulder from the apron. Del Rio throws him off the steps into the announce table to take over. Back in the ring and Del Rio cranks on the arm followed by a kick to the ribs. Del Rio uses Seth Rollins’ Blackout for two. Cole is talking about the history of the title and thankfully they say it only goes back ten years.

Sheamus’ shoulder gets sent into the post and a double ax off the top to the arm gets two for Alberto. Del Rio goes up again but Sheamus knocks him off, only to have Alberto grab an armbreaker over the ropes. An attempt at another ax handle is countered by an ax handle from Sheamus. Sheamus fires off more running ax handles and rams Alberto face first into the post.

There are the ten forearms in the corner and Alberto is in trouble. White Noise is countered into a Backstabber for two. The fans want Ziggler. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into White Noise and the fans still want Ziggler. The Brogue Kick misses and there’s the enziguri in the corner for a very close two. Another Brogue Kick misses but Sheamus escapes the Armbreaker but he can’t hook the Cloverleaf.

Sheamus charges at Del Rio but gets low bridged and his arm is trapped in the ropes. Del Rio fires away kicks and Sheamus is in trouble. There’s the Armbreaker but Sheamus rolls on top of Del Rio and powerbombs him down to break the hold. Brogue Kick misses and there’s the Armbreaker AGAIN. Sheamus almost taps but makes the ropes with his feet instead. The corner enziguri misses for Del Rio and the Brogue Kick finishes clean at 14:27.

Rating: B. These matches are fine but there are three problems with the feud. First and foremost, the story is incredibly boring. I mean, they’re REALLY boring. Second, Sheamus is not going to tap out to the Armbreaker. It’s flat out not going to happen, just like 99.99% of all heel submission holds in world title matches. It just does not happen in the WWE. Third, Sheamus has beaten him twice coming into this so what was the point of a third match? This feud needs to be over now, just like it needed to be over a month ago. Still though, pretty good match.

Video on the National Guard which has some members here tonight.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. Punk has been champion for about ten months but he thinks he can’t get respect because of Cena. Tonight he gets to define his reign, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Heyman is in the ring and praises Punk, saying that Punk has described himself as a Paul Heyman Guy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has the old school hoodie on and comes out first. Cena has a new shirt. Punk’s trunks are Yankees colors. My goodness they’re pushing the tar out of this heel turn. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Punk is getting booed but it’s not 100%. He holds up the title for like a minute before the match starts. It’s a pose off and Cena throws his shirt to the crowd where his dad catches it.

Cena takes him to the mat and Punk’s trunks even have pinstripes on them. Cena gets a quick headlock but it’s released quickly. Cole and JBL keep rattling off stats and histories which is much better than Cole laughing at stuff. A quick release fisherman’s suplex puts Punk down but Punk elbows Cena in the face to escape. Punk takes over with a headlock takeover and the dueling Cena chants begin.

Cena misses a charge in the corner and Punk dropkicks him in the face for two. They’re still in first gear. Punk walks over Cena’s body to get to the corner for some posing. That was awesome and he escapes the AA attempt on top of that. A DDT gets two for Punk and he fires some elbows to Cena’s chest. Off to a chinlock followed by a bridging Indian Deathlock and Heyman has those evil eyes going on.

They head to the floor as Cena tries to get a breather but Punk sends him right back inside. Cena baseball slides him to the floor and throws Punk into the crowd. A suplex on the floor takes Punk down and we head back inside. The AA is countered into a high kick and it’s off to a camel clutch. Back up and Punk fires off some jabs for two. The GTS is escaped and Cena starts his finishing sequence, only to counter the spinning slam into a cross body for two.

Cena avoids the neckbreaker and takes Punk’s head off with a clothesline for two. The Shuffle is blocked and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker. Punk goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an AA attempt but Punk grabs the rope to block. Cena busts out a suicide dive to take Punk out. Not bad at all. Back in and Punk slaps on a very quick Anaconda Vice but Cena gets on top of Punk and puts on the STF. Punk rolls out of that into a Crossface but Cena stands up with it and slams Punk down to escape.

They slug it out with Cena taking over but he walks into a leg lariat. The knee in the corner sets up a clothesline followed by the Macho Elbow for two. Cena counters the GTS into the STF and JBL (I feel like I’m on Sesame Street) freaks out. Punk gets to the rope and the GTS hits clean for two. A kick to the head gets two and Punk slaps him in the face. GTS and AA are escaped but Cena hits the spinning slam and Shuffle followed by the AA for a VERY close two. Heyman looks like he’s 13 and finding a Playboy.

Cena goes up but misses the top rope Fameasser and there’s the high kick for ANOTHER close two. They’re in the main event slugout mode now and it’s great stuff. Punk hits some shots to the face and a spinning backfist. A knee to the head gets two and Punk goes up, only to miss a moonsault. It wouldn’t have hit even if Cena had stayed in the same place. AA is countered and a not so great GTS gets two.

Punk tries a Rock Bottom for two. Cena hits an AA out of nowhere for two. Cena puts him on the middle rope and tries a belly to back superplex but Punk knocks him off. John runs right back up and hits a middle rope German for the pin and the title at 26:54. Both of their shoulders were down and I think you know where this is going.

Yep the referee is saying not so fast (my friend) and it’s a draw.

Rating: A-. While it’s not as good as MITB (that’s an unfair expectation though) and a bit below Summerslam if I remember that match right, this was still top shelf stuff. The ending sets up another match in the Cell where it belongs and I’d certainly like to see another match between these two. I’m not wild on the ending but it makes perfect sense. Great match too.

Punk clocks Cena with the belt.

Overall Rating: A-. This was an excellent show with nothing bad on it at all. The worst match was probably the Divas and that was pretty much fine. Most importantly of all though: they treated the belts like something that mattered tonight and it made a noticeable difference. JBL on commentary was great and Bryan/Kane are still great. You had two really good matches and a bunch of other solid ones. Very good show here and probably their best PPV since Wrestlemania.

Results

The Miz b. Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes – Miz pinned Rhodes after a Skull Crushing Finale

Kane/Daniel Bryan b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Kane pinned Kingston after a top rope splash

Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Eve Torres b. Layla – Spinning Neckbreaker

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick

John Cena vs. CM Punk went to a draw

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Night of Champions 2013: Well That Was Surprising

Night of Champions 2013
Date: September 15, 2013
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is the first PPV after the big summer angle with the rise of the new Corporation. Our main event tonight is Randy Orton defending his title against Daniel Bryan in Bryan’s first one on one shot against the new champion. The other main event is CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel in an elimination tag for Punk’s chance to get his hands on Heyman. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Turmoil

This is a tag team gauntlet match with the winning team earning a tag title shot at Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns later in the show. There are five teams in total with two teams starting. The winners of the first match move on to face the next team, last team standing wins. It’s 3MB vs. Tons of Funk (minus the Funkadactyls) to get us going.

Brodus starts with Heath (teaming with McIntyre here) and quickly crushes Slater in the corner. Off to Tensai who follows Slater to the floor. Drew busts out a flip dive over the top of all things to take over for a bit. Back in and Tensai gets two off a sunset flip but Drew pounds away in the corner, only to get rolled up for the pin by Tensai at 2:40.

The Real Americans are in next but 3MB sticks around to beat on Tensai. Cesaro shouts WE THE PEOPLE and it’s time for a commercial on the pre-show. Back with Cesaro still shouting WE THE PEOPLE before Tensai counters a suplex to take him down. Hot tag brings in Brodus to clean house with his headbutt to the chest and a splash in the corner but Swagger breaks up the cover off the middle rope splash. Swagger makes a blind tag and puts a covering Brodus into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:16 total.

It’s the Usos in fourth, meaning the Prime Time Players are last. They charge in to the ring with Jey hitting a big flip dive over the top to take out Swagger and a slingshot moonsault connects on Cesaro. Swagger comes in legally with a belly to belly suplex on Jey before we hit the armbar. Back to Cesaro for some choking and we take ANOTHER break. Do we really need commercials during a big commercial?

After seeing the same explanation of how to order the show that we got in the first commercial break, we’re back with Cesaro being knocked off the apron but Swagger avoids the Superfly Splash and the Patriot Lock submits Jey at 10:00. It’s the Prime Time Players in last with Titus cleaning house on Swagger. A fall away slam puts Jack down but he takes Titus’ leg out, only to have Darren Young break up another Patriot Lock. The hot tag brings in Young but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well. Young rolls through and the Gut Check gives the Players the title shot at 11:55 total. Cesaro was gone for the last fall.

Rating: D+. These matches are fun in theory but I’ve never cared for them for the most part. At the end of the day, it doesn’t work to see these falls go down in just a few minutes. There’s no time to get any story going and one of the last two teams in line always wins the thing. Nothing special here and I think everyone knew the Players were winning here.

The opening video is about what defines a champion with clips of men like Sammartino, Hogan, Michaels and Austin. It transitions into the usual PPV opening video focusing on the main events.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He thanks us for joining him in what’s best for business and says he’s listening to the audience. There won’t be any interference in the main event from anyone, including Shield, Big Show or anyone else. HHH asks us if we’re ready for Night of Champions which brings out Heyman (in a suit) and Curtis Axel.

Heyman says he’s tried everything to get a message to HHH but this is the best he can do. HHH asks Heyman when he last slept or showered and Paul snaps that he’s stressed out. Heyman complains about the position he’s been put in as we’re ten minutes into the show and this is what we’re getting. He explains the entire story of Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar as well as the match we’ve got tonight in case you bought all the PPVs available tonight and aren’t sure what you want to watch.

Apparently the handicap match is No DQ which must have been announced on the pre-show. HHH says Heyman shouldn’t be worried if he trusts Curtis Axel as much as he claims to. The match stays on so now Axel gets to beg for his boss’ life. He brings up beating HHH in a match as the fans chant BORING. HHH says this is Night of Champions so HHH is going to go to the back and the first person he finds gets an IC Title shot.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston

Well this is a letdown. Kofi takes him down by the wrist and sends Axel to the floor. Back in and Curtis avoids the double leapfrog and bails to the floor again because the seventeen minutes of stalling to open the show weren’t enough. Kofi kicks him on the way back in and Axel is on the floor for the third time in three minutes. Back in again and a dropkick gets two on the champion so Axel goes outside AGAIN. Kingston gets tired of waiting and goes outside but gets sent into the steps. Kofi stops himself and jumps to the apron and then the top for a spinning cross body to the floor.

Back inside again and Axel gets in a cheap shot to take over. Kofi is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear to the ribs and the snap Saito Suplex is good for two. We hit the neck crank followed by a clothesline for two for the champion. A quick slam gets two on Kofi as this boring match continues. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Kofi tries to spin around a clothesline but can’t quite pull it off as crisply as he wanted to. A DDT gets two on Axel and Kofi’s spinning cross body off the top gets the same.

There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Axel drives Kofi into the corner but walks into a pendulum kick. Kofi goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest for two. Kingston escapes another Saito Suplex and a side roll gets two. The SOS is countered and Trouble in Paradise is ducked but Kofi counters Curtis’ neckbreaker into the SOS for…..something as the camera is on Heyman at what could have been the three count. It’s only two so Kofi goes to the corner, only to wind up on Axel’s shoulders and dropped on the top rope. The neckbreaker into the cutter are good enough to retain Curtis’ title at 14:05.

Rating: C. When civilization has come to an end and the human race is gone, Kofi Kingston will still be in the Intercontinental Title hunt. The match wasn’t terrible and it got WAY better at the end, but the first five minutes of this match were way too boring. Also what’s the idea of having Axel in a nearly fifteen minute match before he was a big underdog in the match later? Methinks something is up.

Chris Jericho is named the best IC Champion ever with 63% of the vote over Mr. Perfect, Pat Patterson, Rick Rude and Honky Tonk Man. Those are your only options.

Ricardo teaches Van Dam how to say his finishing moves in Spanish. Also Del Rio has no testicular fortitude and the universal term for World Heavyweight Champion is RVD.

AJ’s new friends (Aksana/Alicia/Layla) want nothing to do with her for the title match. AJ says they’re nothing without her, which makes me think they’re actually pushing the Total Divas as the good ones in this.

Trish Stratus dominates Michelle McCool, Wendi Richter, Lita and Fabulous Moolah to be named best Divas/Women’s Champion ever.

We get the entire promo that set up AJ vs. the Total Divas and the Total Divas beating AJ up.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee vs. Naomi

Big face reaction for AJ despite the lack of clarity in whom we’re supposed to cheer for. AJ gets chased to the floor and sent into the barricade before. The challengers all kick AJ to the floor before the Total Divas break down. The crowd goes SILENT when AJ isn’t in there. Brie cleans house but walks into a dropkick from Naomi. Those two take each other out an AJ grabs a rollup on Natalya for two. The Rear View gets two on Natalya and Brie loads up a superplex on Naomi.

Natalya makes the save but has to duck a high cross body from Naomi. AJ sends Naomi to the floor but Naomi pops back up onto the apron to totally miss a high kick to Brie. Natalya baseball slides AJ to the floor and suplexes Brie down for no cover. Brie breaks up a Sharpshooter on Naomi so Natalya slams her down onto Naomi. Why the referee doesn’t count Naomi while Brie is on top of her isn’t clear. Natalya puts both of them in a Sharpshooter which I believe she did to Laycool before but AJ makes the save. There’s the Black Widow on Natalya for the submission to retain AJ’s title at 5:45.

Rating: D. This is in no way related to AJ because she did everything she could out there. These other girls SUCK and no one cares about them. There’s nothing else to it than that. They’re getting this push because they’re horrible to each other on a reality show and that’s supposed to make them interesting wrestlers. Yeah Natalya can go in the ring and Naomi is athletic, but that doesn’t mean anyone cares about them. I’m being very generous with the rating actually. It was that bad.

We go to the All-Star panel of Alex Riley, Booker T and Santino Marella.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending, Rob is the hometown boy (close enough) and Ricardo is here after being banned from ringside on Smackdown. Del Rio quickly takes him down but Rob comes right back with a kick to the face. A loud spinwheel kick in the corner has the champion staggered and a monkey flip gets two. Del Rio hits a dropkick of all things but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A slingshot moonsault puts Alberto down and Rob drapes him across the barricade for the spin kick to the back.

Del Rio blocks a suplex back in and brings Rob to the apron before knocking him out to the floor. The champion’s suicide dive takes Van Dam down and Del Rio sends him into the barricade. We hit the chinlock before Rob rolls him up for two. A snap suplex puts Rob right back down and Del Rio does the finger point. Del Rio kicks him in the back of the head for two and it’s back to the chinlock. An enziguri sends Del Rio to the floor but Alberto misses a dive and crashes on the outside.

Back in and a kick to the face gets two for Rob and the middle rope thrust kick gets the same. A top rope kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder but Alberto rolls away and hits the Backstabber for two. Rob breaks up the reverse superplex and the cannonball off the top gets two. They slug it out with Del Rio getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rob kicks his way out of the armbreaker and gets two off a rollup.

The split legged moonsault gets the same but Alberto comes back with a Codebreaker on the arm. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two but Rob kicks him off the ropes. The Five Star hits knees and there’s the armbreaker but Rob gets to a rope….and Del Rio holds on through the five count for the DQ at 14:28.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but the ending crippled anything it could have been. Alberto just isn’t interesting as a champion whatsoever but he’s been in every PPV Smackdown Title match this year. I don’t know who we’re waiting on to take the title from him but this wasn’t the right ending for this match.

Post match Rob hits a Van Terminator to wake the crowd up.

Axel is confident while Heyman panics even more. We’ve covered this for weeks now.

Booker T beats out Flair, Edge, Batista and Undertaker as greatest World Champion ever. WHAT?

Orton wants to know what HHH is thinking. HHH says he’s just making sure he picked the right face of the WWE.

The Miz vs. Fandango

Here’s the filler match we all knew was coming. Fandango dances around to start and drives some elbows into Miz’s neck. Miz comes back but can’t hit the Reality Check or put on the Figure Four, allowing Fandango to send him to the apron. Back in and Miz hits the corner clothesline but a Summer Rae distraction lets Fandango take over again. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors as a Summer Rae chant starts up.

The announcers are talking about baseball as Miz sends Fandango to the floor, only to jump into a kick to the ribs. Now it’s a Randy Savage chant as the fans just do not care about this match. Miz fights up and goes after the leg before hitting the short DDT for two. Now the fans want tables. Fandango suplexes him down for two and ties Miz up in the ropes for a guillotine legdrop for two. The real guillotine legdrop misses and Miz gets two as the crowd groans. Thankfully the Figure Four ends Fandango at 8:00.

Rating: D. This show is sinking like a stone. The fans didn’t care about this at all and there’s no reason for them to. It’s a feud about Miz interrupting Fandango’s dancing and that’s about it. Why would I want to see that on a show I’m paying to see? Also it’s a bad idea after such a dull show so far.

WWE loves the National Guard.

We recap Punk vs. Heyman/Axel. Punk asked Heyman to stop coming to the ring with him so Heyman screwed him over at MITB. Punk swore revenge so Heyman brought Lesnar back to beat Punk up with Brock getting the pin at Summerslam. Now it’s Heyman/Axel vs. Punk in an elimination match so Punk can get his hands on Heyman.

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

No DQ and it’s under elimination rules. Heyman of course hides on the floor as the other guys swing kendo sticks at each other. Axel gets in a shot but Punk comes back with a series of his own to take over. Curtis gets knocked down and Punk dives through the ropes to get at Heyman. Paul is taken into the ring and put in a chinlock before Punk picks up the stick. CM takes too long though and a low blow drops Punk. Curtis pounds away and gets in some stick shots to the back.

The beating continues as Heyman does Brock’s bounce on the floor. The fans still want tables but they get chops and forearms from Punk instead. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of the head for two and it’s table time, making Curtis the most over guy in the arena for a split second. The table is set up in the corner but Punk blocks a suplex through the table, only to have Axel do the same. Axel takes Punk down again and we hit another chinlock.

Punk fights up and sends Curtis into a chair in the corner, knocking Axel to the floor. Back in and Punk hits his swinging neckbreaker and the knee into the corner. Axel rolls away before the Macho Elbow and gets in a chair shot for two. The lone boring chant is blocked out by a Punk chant as Axel gets two off a neckbreaker of his own. Heyman shouts that Axel is better than Punk as Curtis strolls around the ring. More kendo stick shots to Punk’s back get two but Punk counters the neckbreaker into the cutter into the GTS. The Anaconda Vice gets the tap out at 10:40 to get us down to Punk vs. Heyman.

Punk wisely keeps the hold on to knock Axel out even more before going after Heyman. Heyman slowly walks around the ring before running up the ramp, only to go into the crowd and back to ringside. Punk catches him in the ring and pulls on Heyman’s ears and nose. Punk gets the stick but Heyman hugs him. The smile on Punk’s face is rather creepy as he canes Heyman down. Heyman: “OH THAT HURTS!” Punk pounds away before calling for the GTS. He’s not ready yet though as he pulls out the handcuffs from his boot, just like Heyman used on him for the big beating a few weeks ago.

Heyman tries to tap out but the fans think this is awesome. Heyman begs for mercy, making it even better. Punk hits him very slowly with the stick and says to remember that it was him doing this to Paul. Heyman tries to tap with his foot so Punk promises to break Paul’s face. Cue Ryback to drive Punk through the table, slicing Punk’s back open in a scary looking visual. Heyman is placed on top for the pin at 1 5:56.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: Punk getting some revenge, only to have Heyman debut his new guy to give Punk a real challenge next month at Battleground. At the end of the day, Axel just isn’t competition for CM Punk and everyone knew it. Ryback isn’t a huge star, but he’s a much bigger deal than Axel and gives Punk a much better challenge. Good choice here and the perfect booking.

Punk refuses medical attention for his back.

More expert panel stuff.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Ziggy beat Ambrose via DQ on Friday to get this shot. Feeling out process with Ziggler trying to speed things up, only to have Dean grab the rope. Ziggler gets two off a dropkick and there are the ten elbow drops. They tumble out to the floor and Dean takes over before heading back inside for a knee in the back and some face rubbing into the mat. We hit a reverse chinlock followed by a regular chinlock until Ziggler fights up and gets two off a sunset flip.

They trade rollups for two each and Ziggy goes to the middle rope, only to be knocked down so Dean can slowly rake his back. A superplex gets two for the champion so Dean flips over the top and goes up but Ziggler catches him in a top rope X Factor for two. Ambrose’s full nelson is countered into a rollup for two and Dean goes to the corner.

A Stinger Splash and ten punches set up a clothesline for two on Ambrose and it’s off to the sleeper. Dean easily suplexes his way to freedom and a near fall but gets caught in the Fameasser for a close two. Dean’s bulldog driver is countered into a rollup for two but the second attempt is good for the pin to retain the title at 9:54.

Rating: C+. I liked this one more than I thought I would. This is the kind of match the show needed: a fast paced, back and forth match with both guys looking good. A clean win over a former world champion is nothing but good for Dean and the match was a nice pickup as well. Good stuff here.

Sting is named best US Champion ever over Bobo Brazil, Harley Race, Sgt. Slaughter and Ricky Steamboat.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Shield

It’s Rollins/Reigns defending as the Players won tag team turmoil on the pre-show. Rollins and Titus start in a nice power vs. speed matchup. Seth can’t throw Titus around and has his cross body caught, only for O’Neil to throw him down like it’s nothing. Off to Young with a headlock on the mat followed by some shoulder blocks and a clothesline for two. Roman gets the tag and blocks an O’Connor Roll before being sent to the outside.

A big elbow gets two for Young and it’s back to Titus to pound on Rollins some more. All Players so far as Titus blows the whistle, allowing Rollins to bail to the floor. Darren follows Seth to the floor, allowing Shield to take over as they come back inside. It’s Reigns working over Darren before throwing him back to the outside.

Back in and Seth hooks a chinlock on Young before slapping him around a bit. Young comes back with a quick belly to belly but Reigns blocks the hot tag. Darren sends him into the corner and backdrops Seth down, allowing for the hot tag to Titus. O’Neil starts cleaning house and hits the release fall away slam on Rollins. Clash of the Titus gets two as Reigns makes the trademark Shield save. Young and Roman go to the floor but Reigns jumps back in for the spear on Titus, giving Seth the retaining pin at 7:30.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The Players weren’t going to get the belts and everyone knew it, but it’s nice to see a fresh team in the title scene. It’s not like those two getting a title shot is a stretch or anything so I can’t imagine a ton of complaints about Young being pushed. Nothing special here but it was fine.

We look at Heyman vs. Punk some more.

DX is named the greatest tag team of all time over the Wild Samoans, the Bulldogs, the LOD and the Harts. That’s so laughable I’m not even going to bother making fun of it.

We recap the main event. Bryan won the title from John Cena at Summerslam before being screwed over by HHH and Randy Orton, bringing in the new Corporation with Orton being named best for business. Bryan was then beaten down for weeks on end as he waited for his one on one rematch with Orton here tonight. No one has been allowed to help Bryan for fear of losing their jobs. Cody Rhodes questioned things and lost his job in a match against Orton.

Hulk Hogan dominates Cena, Punk, HHH and Austin as Best WWE Champion ever. All of the polls were landslides.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

HHH has guaranteed no interference but there are no special rules. BIG pop for Bryan as expected. Feeling out process to start with Bryan taking the arm for early control. Orton takes him down with a shoulder but Bryan fires off a knee to the ribs to take over. Bryan unleashes the kicks but Orton comes right back with a clothesline. Randy takes too much time posing and Bryan comes back with right hands, only to be clotheslined down again for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Orton fights up and pounds away at Orton’s head with some good aggression. Randy comes back with a knee to the ribs and the slow circle stomp They’re doing the slow build here for the big finishing sequence. Orton rains down right hands in the corner with the fans chanting NO on each one in a nice touch. Bryan fights back with the running clothesline and the kicks in the corner as Orton is suddenly reeling. The headbutt connects to send Orton to the floor for the FLYING GOAT.

Back in and the missile dropkick sends Orton to the floor again, setting up a second FLYING GOAT! Back in again but Orton bails to the other side of the ring but Bryan’s third FLYING GOAT meets a forearm. Orton hits the Elevated DDT on the floor but Bryan slides back in at nine for a nice false finish. Orton does the finger point and loads up the RKO, only to have Bryan escape but knock the referee to the floor.

Bryan can’t get the YES Lock but there’s a second referee in now. Orton’s powerslam gets two but the Elevated DDT is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan is CRANKING on it too with the arm looking like a pretzel. Orton very slowly crawls over and finally makes the rope in another nice false finish. There are more kicks in the corner but the running dropkick misses. The first referee is still on the floor which makes me very nervous of a double fall.

Orton puts Bryan on the corner but Bryan slips through the legs and crotches the champion. Orton is put down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs and now the running dropkick connects. Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but Orton knocks him down, only to have Daniel pop up with a forearm to a seated champion. Now Bryan’s superplex connects but Bryan hangs on by the legs.

A LONG flying headbutt hits Orton but Randy is out at two. The original referee is back in now which isn’t something you see that often. Bryan unleashes more kicks but Orton catchs the big one into the high collar suplex to put both guys down. Orton can’t get a backslide so Bryan hits the big kick to the head and the running knee gets the pin and the title 17:49.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but once they got on a roll they didn’t stop. That running knee has become a devastating finisher and it worked very well here again. I’m sure there will be more shenanigans in the future but the match tonight was very good. Solid stuff here and I can’t say I’m upset that Bryan won. Good stuff here, as you would expect.

Bryan celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The last couple of matches saved this from being one of the least interesting shows I’ve ever seen. It’s still not a good show but it set up Battleground well enough. That’s the problem with having three PPVs in seven weeks: there’s not enough time to build anything up. Nothing really happened tonight and it felt like a big episode of Raw. I’ve seen worse but this was a huge drop after Summerslam.

Results

Prime Time Players won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating the Real Americans

Curtis Axel b. Kofi Kingston – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

AJ Lee b. Natalya, Naomi and Brie Bella – Black Widow to Natalya

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel b. CM Punk – Heyman pinned Punk after a spear through a table by Ryback

Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Bulldog driver

Shield b. Prime Time Players – Spear to O’Neil

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Running knee to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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WWE.Com’s Top 15 Best PPVs Ever

Uh……#1 WrestleMania X-Seven
#2 Money in the Bank 2011
#3 Royal Rumble 2000
#4 Spring Stampede 1994
#5 WrestleMania III
#6 Great American Bash 1989
#7 SummerSlam 2013
#8 One Night Stand 2005
#9 No Way Out 2001
#10 In Your House: Canadian Stampede
#11 Extreme Rules 2012
#12 Bash at the Beach 1996
# 13 Backlash 2009
#14 Heat Wave 1998
#15 Survivor Series 1995

Honorable Mentions:
SummerSlam 1991
WrestleMania X
WCW Great American Bash 1996
ECW Barely Legal
Backlash 2000
Invasion
SummerSlam 2002
Bad Blood 2004

InVasion? Really? Also Summerslam 02 not being on the actual list is a crime. Summerslam 1991 never did anything for me other than one match.